#this aint a eulogy

[friedesgreatscythe]

i couldn't understand why the fight with eulogia (the last boss of the EW alliance raid series) was making me tear up or flat out cry and then i realized that perhaps a story in which the culminating decision and confrontation is an act of euthanasia, something you are begged to do as gently as possible, as every single facet tells you how strong you are, how you've overcome so much, how it's out of love for you that they can even ask this at all is probably a really painful thing to put yourself through after you've had to put your sixteen year old cat to sleep.

[ladyintheattic]

re your last Zevran post: Did you see that very upsetting video of some of the people who worked on Veilguard going 'Zevran???? who' because I feel it explains everything 😭 https://x.com/kingofantiva/status/1834219067076464671

like....... not to be that person.. but this aint bioware anymore. im writing the eulogy im weeping as i shovel dirt onto the coffin im

[mackaivellitraits]

I knew id be destined for doom

My life messy like a teenage bedroom

And i aint even clean

Guess i should work on my self esteem

Instead of steaming,scheming, plotting to all hours

Im finished being dirty now, i should hit the showers

Naahhh imma finna relapse bending rules like knee caps

Youll find me in the kitchen tho ill be cooking with my kitchen ho only bars in this bitch no hook

Niggas be waiting, they be saying let him cook

Crooked in all ways my eulogy resembles a bag of lays

You look inside theres more nothing than something

What to say

“Better something than nothing rigghht”

Thats right im bright, ill light your way tonight

All the girls love me but i have one heart one heart to let down all others, thats dark

But im white u wouldnt think so but im always down to fight, aggresive, impatient not complacent

I reallly wonder where im headed ,my life coarse take direction of a chicken deheaded

Fuck, ate kfc with my father last night, they didnt have the big piece, tonight no big feast

You need to accept that lyfe dont always have big piece, that-ll give you big peace

Big smile ,im vile like to protect my gyal like a father to his child

Anyways imma go now, just wanted u to view a piece of the show down

[wentzsmatchacup]

leave your will on queue before you leave for the concert in case they kill you with the setlist

GAHHAHA SO REAL-

here’s my tumblr will guys

Mr Lexi @pisshandkerchief gets access to my entire database of rpf and also all my FOB shirts. Mx Malaya @bandom-simmer gets access to my archive and extensive collection of FOB photos and shit. and also my cat because you’re a responsible parent 💀

Mr Saturday @kryiscool is granted my entire plushie collection bcuz I think he’d appreciate that

Mr @greenapel gets my lovely plant, Giorno. Take good care of that lil guy.

Ms @bipridemoth is in charge of writing my eulogy.

And for the rest of my beautiful moots and followers, you’re all invited to my funeral and I WILL have Fall Out Boy perform there. You guys will make it happen. Also, I leave you all with the legacy of my blogs <3 oh, and about my fall out boy blanket… bury it with me. Also, I’d like for my funeral to be exactly like the This Aint a Scene It’s an Arms Race video bit. Please and thank you.

here’s my will for when I surely pass away from the FOB show. IT WAS LOVELY KNOWIN YOU GUYS

(i have to clarify this is all a joke and I will HOPEFULLY not die, despite possibly suffering heat stroke and brain damage and also the big gay. This sounds like a slip n slide note but I PROMMIE it’s not 😭😭 I’m actually fine guys. Love u all tho)

[nightguide]

MILITARY TACTICS

CONVERSATION OF MASS (HOW FUCKING RETARDED YOU ARE): UR MOM CALLED YOU ON THE SAME DAY THAT SHE HAD AIDS AND IT WAS YOU

CONVERSATION OF LENGTH (DID YOU JUST MAKE A HICK DO IT FOR YOU?): BRUTHA.

CONVERSATION OF NUMBER (HOW MUCH NAZAR EARNED FOR THAT ONE SINGLE BACKSIDED THOUGHT YOUR MOM HAD ABOUT YOU FORGETTING IT): YOUR MOM HAD SEX IN THAT DRESS

WHY DID YOU MOM MAKE YOU GO?

CULT (FUCK YOU BACK): HER DAD ACTUALLY GAVE A EULOGY BEFORE SHE WENT, SO ITS NOT ANY DIFFERENT THAN SAYING 'SOMEONE ROYALLY HAD SEX WITH THE GODZ' BUT YOU DID NOT SAY IT BACK SO SHE GOT BEATEN UP FOR BEING BEATEN UP WHICH IS A SOUR TAKE ON WHY SHE HATED GOING TO LIVE IT (SHE DOES NOT GIVE A FCK THAT HER MOM WANTS TO TOUCH HER ON TV LIKE THAT KIND OF FUCKERY SHAITAANI SHE HAS ON HER SOUL) DIS BITCH ENERGY COMING FROM HER WAYS OF THE WOMANLY MANS COCK AND OPENLY SAYS IT (UP FOR A FIGHT ANY DAY, NIGGA)

SECT (DICKHEAD): SHE HATES ALLAH. ISLAMOPHOBE TO THE CORE. FOR THAT ONE BESTI

CHURCH (YOUR AUNTY LIKES YOUR CL*T): WILL LITERALLY PLOT AGAINST ANNA WINTOUR FOR 'THE PURGE'

MASJID PHYSICS

METAPHYSICS (YOUR BESTIE HATES U TO APPEAL HER 'QUR'AN' TO HER LIKE UR BESTIE IS NOT HERE, LIKE SOME WINTOUR NIGGA U THINK U ARE): SHE DID NOT WANT TO GO BUT THE HOOR HAS SOME IDEAS OF HER OWN

EPISTEMOLOGY (THAT GUY AT THE BACK SHE MAKES FUN OF BUT EVENTUALLY GETS CALLED OUT FOR IT): SHE ACTUALLY SOCKED WINTOUR FOR IT

ETHICS (HER FUCKING HISTORY AT MASJID ACCORDING TO THAT ONE TRUSTED SPANISH FRIEND (BASICALLY THAT FRIEND U ALWAYS SEE WHO GREW WITH YOU EMOTIONALLY AT WEDDINGS): SHE KNOWS A HOE (DAJJALI IS HER BEST FRIEND)

NATURE OF HUMANS (EVERYDAY OF HER LIFE IS 'HER' AN SHE CALLS THAT 'DAJJAL'): SHE WANTS TO FCKIN KILL ANNA WINTOUR FOR THE SAKE OF IT BUT U KNO HER GRANDDAUGHTER FROM THE MIDDLE EAST SOUTH EVENTUALLY SAVES THE UNIVERSE IN A MUSICAL EMPIRE SHE HATES THE GLEE CAST FOR

HUMAN PROBLEMS (I HATED THAT WHORE FOR NOTHING (AND ITS LIKE THE WORLD ENDED FOR THAT GUJURATI (ASSHO) FOR RUINING HER LIFE (NO FAMILY BONDING OUT OF FAMILIAR LUCK CUZ THAT HO RUINED HER LIFE AN IT'S THEIR FAULT FOR NOT 'REASONING WITH THE EARLIER OPTIONS BETTER'): JUST YOU NOW. AN SHE WILL DO IT

ANSWER TO HUMAN PROBLEMS (DIS BITCH??? *THE FCK FACE ON THAT PERMANENTLY*): *AT EVERYONE BUT THE DAJJALI BESTIE SHE KNEW FOR YRS IN LITTLE MIX*

HISTORY ('IF I SEE HER' IMAGINATION 20 YEARS LATER ENERGY): *nothing but dead bones of past future selves*

DEATH (SUBHAN ALLAH, IM AT PEACE): SHE KNOWS THAT DAJJALI AINT EVEN EVIL BUT RACHEL BERRY IS

VIEW OF RELIGION (HER PARENTS NOW THAT THEY KNOW WHO SHE KNOWS BUT HATES BEING THERE 'FOR HER' AND ARE REGRETTING HER SOONER): SHE IS THERE NOW, THATS ALL THAT MATTERS (WAR VETERAN ENERGY)

[tashaclown]

Thanks dad I always wanted to be like eminem.

I hope you fuckin know

I ain't uproot my whole life

Make my husband quit her job

So they could come help watch you die

Just for you prove

What you been saying the whole time

Keep your fucking money bitch

Aint nothing you can do for me

You never had a son

And now no one will write your eulogy

[tajalindley]

One year ago today I released my film This Ain't A Eulogy: A Ritual for Re-Membering. It began as a live performance ritual at La Mama’s Squirts in 2015, and has since been shared dozens of times in classrooms, living rooms, conferences, public spaces, theater stages, galleries, and fairs in iterations of film, live performance, and site-specific installation. This work has deepened my commitment and creative rigor to do ritual performance with integrity. It is my love letter for hearts that ache over the incessant incidents of state sanctioned violence; it is my balm to help process the grief that comes from irreversible loss; and it is my offering for how we transform and heal from the conditions that make a culture of disposability possible.

To honor this milestone occasion I am selling high resolution still images of the film. These are limited edition archival pigment prints and can be exclusively viewed on Curatious. A portion of the profits will be donated to resource organizations and groups that provide support to Black families that have been directly impacted by state-sanctioned violence.

[loccorocco]

Please check on your friends and loved ones regularly :)

Ask them how they're doing, send a dumb meme or a cute picture, anything really. If you know they're going through a lot, its good to remind them that there's someone looking out there for them :)

[cassicl]

SAMAEL / @venenumdei

❝  — in the SECOND WEEK OF THE NEW MOON in the early hours of the MEMORIAM OF SUNRISE, when all who claim affection for the stars lock their doors and bow their heads, loveliest cassiel seeks out he of the quick bite and the slow poison: THE VICE OF SLOTH.  ❞

in the fog of the early morning she comes to him, broad-winged and baring solemnity upon her fair brow as a diamond upon a diadem. it glistens as she walks, a focal point for those who would witness her as she roams the mortal earth with unsurpassed fairness and humble bare foot. come, she says upon finding him without saying anything at all, lovely ankles swallowed by dawn’s rolling mist and one soft hand lost to the inner of his elbow. that which i am you are too; we are not made for this mourning.

there is no point to her ambling, but it is natural they take to the deep forest, arcane and gnarled as it is, flowers and rot sprouting hand in hand. as they pass the lip of the woods cassiel stops to shed her outer layer, stripping from her body a connective tissue of delicate silver chainmail and inlaid gemstones, sparkling things cut into the shape of tears from a high moon. she rests it upon a near branch, the edges and heavy points swaying until they touch together and sing like so many tinkling voices. poets and romantics would have made hymns out of that sound and the pattern of her breath. freed from her decoration, now she wears only the white slip from beneath, a fabric supple and luxurious in its weightlessness. in the wet air it clings to her, exposing the globe of her hips, waist, the high rounds of breasts, pale and round as two peeled apples. wait for me, she calls after him, breaching the distance without waiting for a response or pause in body, for cassiel has never waited for that which she desires. her fingers slip into the spaces between his, palm to unholy palm, and though the grip is tight now, she will release it later when a thing outside his reach attracts her interest. that is simply her nature, and in that she knows it is samael’s own too.  so the woods are taken this way between them, pressing deeper into thickets of moss and vine between open hands and conversation, until her companion stops before a configuration upon the ground. though it is wrapped thickly in root and lichen, as if the earth of the holy land was only part-way through an alchemic claim, there is no mistaking the form that lays beneath: a body. mortal, from the lack of wings, though any further identification would be impossible for how their features had been replaced by wet vegetation and violent-purple blooms. cassiel, breathless, can only stare. time. it moved forth in an inevitable way that god could only have matched if michael tied his body to a golden chariot, ankles dragging in the wet sand. the sight of it displayed so keenly, so viciously, pulls her breath out from her chest with a fraying rope.

“is this what you do, samael?”

cassiel moves forward and slots into him as closely as a shadow thats been unstitched from his side, free to roam of her own volition but once more returning to where she had once been braided in. the seams cut loose by his fall wriggle about their feet like worms water-loosed by rainfall. silken maggots wriggle by their ankles, little droppings of fate. a hand lays itself upon his torso.

“is this your power?”

[tojikai]

Me again! Just wanted to point out one last thing in this chapter.

RIE HAS BEEN THE ARCHITECT OF HER DOWNFALL.

Yes yes, Satoru sucks and YN is a trainwreck herself. But RIE, is the catalyst that derailed this train. She is an embodiment of self sabotage.

1. She tried to get with a taken man cause she wants someone to smooch her. She coveted what YN had because she believed she had some kind of claim to Gojo from her highschool days and this gave her a right to Gojo in some way. She wanted to reap from someone else’s labor.

2. Rather than leave things be and continue on with her budding relationship with Satoru, by not going to the party, they could easily have become a strong thing (YN was trying to move on and not be a bother). She instead went full insecure (cause she knows in her heart that what she has with Satoru is stolen goods) and wants to confront YN, TO rub it in her face as an “apology”. Nah girl you wanted to compare yourself and confirm for yourself whether you are better or not. You aint.

3. She basically blew it once the wreck happened and all of her crazed behavior after. everything else she did was not only dig her own grave, but she bought the tombstone, arranged the service and gave her own eulogy. Like HOW does she think she can compare 2 months to 5 years?? Like she is also incredibly emotionally stunted and selfish. Its not the same and men rarely leave their SO for the side chick. Like you aint the entree girl, you the soggy asparagus with cream sauce.

Also regardless of my own personal feelings, people in general regard cheating in very different ways. Someone may consider watching porn as cheating while someone may see a kiss as not a big deal. What Gojo did YN was diet compared to what Gojo did to Rie. Rie probably begged Gojo to not leave her and was willing to forgive cause she is thaaaat desperate?? I hope not girl. You actually deserve better too.

Lastly, remember, its a story yallllll! A great one!

"you the soggy asparagus with cream sauce." IM WHEEZING😭 but yeah, it cannot be denied that she was also to blame for all that has happened. she's fully aware that what she and satoru did was wrong yet she still continued on with it. like i said here before, feelings are not something we can control but we have brains😭 and it is what we should use for making smart decisions. but it looks like rie here wasn't informed about that LMAO but she was really curious abt yn during that party, she wanted to know why satoru and yn stayed together for so long 👀 i really enjoyed reading this ask !!

[purgatorypoetry]

the slate sky paints your perfect face, radiant moon and your skin ghost white the coming night swallows the burning sunset alive, alive and i am likewise alive, dance like little flame, wind, you and i each matchstick thin and fleeting like flighty eyes meeting like glancing fingertip desired as tightening grip like kindling bodies dried and stacked higher, neatly stacked like pyre,

prayer and eulogy like dead air and you and me in suffocated smile in dead-eye gaze, locked, like target, trigger cocked - turned seconds, hours, days like rigor mortis limbs raised were surrender or praise we both choke on hallelujah these days but we each gotta eat the same,

abacus ribs counting fingertips sinking in drowning like man overboard same as fall on sword as penance in the pain in the lords name, vain, and our vanity where we see ourselves as we wish to be, i will be a god and you will be loved and, love, neither will ever be enough but still we brush seek stray grays, plucked, and aint we still so young so what if tomorrow wont come - wont you come,

lie by me try and see you as i do and i will try the same i will try to believe the way your eyes so often soften when mine meet them i will try to believe your kisses, a tongue ive only ever known to be lies but,

your accent, specific dialect is different enough to maybe maybe possibly trust

[wroammin]

patton in the roommate group chat: roman could you pls take the chicken out of the freezer 🤗 roman: sure thing! virgil, DMing roman: remember to take the chicken out of the freezer roman: oh my god chill i'll do it (1 hr later) roman: so. i may not have done it virgil: you're dead roman: WHAT DO I DO virgil: sorry can't talk i'm writing your eulogy roman: VIRGIL roman: VIRGIL HELP not at all based on true events

lmao but also are we doing the sanders sides as gc conversations? because ok here’s mine

roman: Hey fam so me and padre wanna play mario kart tonight cuz thats what the cool kids play😎 who’s down😌✨ if you dont come you sure aint a cool car like me and padre😏

roman: Cool cat*

logan: Count me in.

logan: I should be able to play at 9pm if that works for you all

virgil: I can play at 9 too

remus:

everyone who plays mario kart 2night vs everyone who doesn’t

roman: Hiw long did you spend tofind these puctures

remus: less than three minutes

[ravencromwell]

Eulogy

Archiving in tribute of my beloved Mum (July 2nd 1957-September 13th 2020) "Mum" was our inside joke; she'd never heard the British pronunciation until I was nine or ten and I called her that out of the blue after reading about Anne Frank, who also loved the way the Brits say it. It tickled her pink, because she loved mums, the flower. From that moment on, 'twas always Mum; I have an archive of over a decade of communication, and every so often there're spontaneous strings of heart emogis from her in response to my writing Mum. :)

 I never could have written this without @chamerionwrites and @blindbibliophile who gave me hours of time and comfort over the last few days and so much reassurance on this particular piece. (I made everybody cry, and stepdad said 'twas the best one he'd ever heard, so I think it went ok.) They both know this, but it bears repeating: they're some of the finest folk in the world and I <333333333 them both so fucking much.

 A lot of folks would've broken when they ended up divorced, with a kid with disabilities; but my Mom picked herself up and rebuilt a life around me. We never had much, and I didn't get nearly as much time with her as I would've liked. But standing here, paying tribute, I am profoundly blessed. Because she left me rich with a reservoir of memories. Laughter; she laughed with her whole body, big unashamed belly-laughs that made a room bright as the sun at noon. So many endearments; sweet pea and goofball were her favorites. More I love you's than I could ever count.

 And lessons: always try. She never promised me I wouldn't fail, but she taught me the trying was worth it anyway.

 Be tough as nails and never back down when a hard thing needs doing. Every time life knocked her down, whether it was my Dad leaving or losing her own mama, she got back up. And built her life better. She brought Billy and his wonderful extended family into both our lives. She kept loving people, even though she knew she could lose 'em.

 Everybody always says when mamma aint happy, nobody's happy. But I was the luckiest person in the world, because with her? It was reversed; she was happiest when she could give me any little thing to bring some joy. Just a week back, she made banana bread for the very first time, which she did not even like, for my birthday.

 Every time I'd done something unkind, she'd recite me her favorite Bible verse, in all its glorious complexity from the King James version: Matthew 7-12. Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you: do ye even so to them. I'll carry the golden rule to my grave.

 She always said funerals were for the living; she'd be in a far better place, seeing her mamma again, and the thing she fretted over was us. And so I stand here, knowing from her how to fill the world with compassion, while keeping my head up high through anything. And knowing she's just beyond where I can see I say: love you Mum; I'm gonna be all right, and I'll make you proud.

[bottomvalerius]

“i aint a furry, but a bitch may wana get railed by the devil from the arcana”

“that is the most damning thing you have ever said. that’s going in your eulogy.” 

my partner is tired of me and we have to work together all night long to finish client reports, its going well lifdhfdihg

[eastenderstranscripts]

Louise: she should be here by now

Ben: late to her own funeral eh?

Sharon: have some respect

Phil: i dont even know why we're going

Sharon: phil, not today, please. just behave. both of ya

Louise: yeah, she's right. dont want anything kicking off, alright? mel was a huge part of my life, of my mums life

Sharon: of all our lives. the least we can do is give her a good send off ok?

Phil: as long as we aint in there all day

Louise: its just a simple service, dad

Ben: no eulogies then? jack and ian fighting over the mic

Louise: no eulogies

Phil: good. last thing your mother needs is a soapbox with an audience

Sharon: her best friends dead phil. if i can let sleeping dogs lie today, so can you