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bow-of-aros · 1 month ago

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Day Sixteen: Cackle

Summary: Steph wants to know if Peter, Ruth, and Richie want to come over to her place, but Ruth and Richie have decided to be pains in the ass so Peter doesn't think they should be allowed to.

They don't exactly take too kindly to that :)

Guys. GUYS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! I literally went crazy writing this fic why haven't I written them before?????? They're so precious and I just alsdj;kflasjkdsajdp you know?? Anyway, I hope that y'all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it <33

Peter was hanging out with Ruth and Richie at Richie’s after school.

Well, technically, they were supposed to be studying for the biology test at the end of the week, but it was only Monday, and none of them were that nervous about it.

And, the call of Super Smash Bros was just too strong to resist.

After winning his third game in a row, and subsequently performing his third victory dance, his friends started getting really competitive, which was a little terrifying considering the baseline level of Ruth’s competitiveness on any given day.

“Come on, Peter!” Ruth whined after a Smash Attack sent her flying off the platform, “When the hell did you get good at this? What happened to little Petey Pie who used to jump into the void all the time?”

Peter dodged an attack from Richie, floating up into the air just to slam back down, “He got sick of his friends kicking his ass all the time and decided to do some ass-kicking of his own. HA! Take that, fucker!”

The screen flashed as Ruth and Richie groaned, proclaiming Peter as the victor once more.

“You are not playing as your main next time! You can be, like, Doctor Mario or something.” Richie was already setting up the next game thanks to his eternal claim as player one.

I’m the best of you! And you’re the best of me! And together we are free—

“Hey Steph! What’s up?”

Peter ignored the way Richie gagged at the sound of his ringtone and how Ruth’s eyes lit up at Steph’s name, pressing his phone against his ear with his shoulder in order to select Steve from the collection of avatars before either of his friends could get to it.

“Oh, nothing much!” Steph’s voice came through a little tinny, and Peter wouldn’t be surprised if he was on speaker while she did some chores around the house.

“I was just wondering if you had anything planned tomorrow night.”

As Steph was talking, Ruth was doing her level best to crawl across Peter’s lap and put her ear up to his phone despite his attempts to elbow her away.

“Lemme hear!” Ruth hissed.

Peter just stuck his tongue out and redoubled his efforts.

“Uh, no, not really!” His phone jostled as Richie tried to wedge it out from under his ear and Peter had to snatch it back, “Why do you ask?”

“Are you doing alright over there, Pete?” Steph’s voice was tinged with amusement as though she could see the human pretzel that Ruth and Richie were dragging him into.

“Yeah! Everything’s fine!” Peter swatted Richie’s prying hands while attempting to use his feet to keep Ruth away, “What were you gonna ask?”

He could hear something rustle as Steph picked her phone up, turning it off of speaker mode and holding it up to her ear.

He could also hear the overlapping “Come onnnnnnn,” and “We just wanna say hi!” from his friends as Richie tried once again to worm his fingers around Peter’s phone.

“Ah!” And wriggling right against his neck.

Silence echoed as Ruth and Richie exchanged evil looks.

Aw fuck.

“—if you three would want to hang out at my place?” Peter had missed the first half of that sentence due to the now-sporadic squeezes at his knees and more purposeful scratching at his neck, but he was sure that he could make an educated guess.

“I, uh, I don’t know if they can mAKE ihit.”

He’d nearly gotten through the whole sentence without cracking, but then Ruth had started spidering her fingers in the soft spot behind his knees which she knew was unfair, and a small squeak had broken through.

Peter did his best to seal his lips shut as Steph said, “Aw, are you sure? My dad will be out and I can order all of us pizza.”

“Mhm!”

You see, Peter would feel bad about lying to Steph on a regular day. But, considering that his friends had decided to be conniving assholes today, he figured that she would forgive him just this once.

“Are you sure that you’re alright? You sound kinda…nervous.”

Steph sounded genuinely concerned, so Peter kicked Ruth back into the couch and threw an elbow into Richie’s gut so that he could scramble to his feet, trying to subtly catch his breath.

“Yeah, sorry!” They were both already up and after him, so Peter had to dodge grabbing hands as he said, “It’s just that I think Ruth and Richie are too busy being annoying little brats to hang out tomorrow night!”

Twin gasps echoed through the room as both Ruth and Richie’s jaws dropped in indignation.

“How dare you—”

“Spankoffski get your lying ass over here!”

Peter dove out of the way just in time to hear Steph’s “Ohhhhhhhh,” of realization before she broke out into laughter.

“You really had me worried for a second there, Pete!” Richie caught him around the waist and started the not-so-difficult process of wrestling him to the ground, “Maybe you can come over and they can join when they learn to behave!”

It seemed like Ruth heard that last part as she let out an affronted “HEY!”

“Yeah, I think that would be bEST—Wait! Richie nononono shihihihit!”

Ruth managed to pry his phone out of his hands as Richie went straight for the kill, drawing out frantic cackles with ruthless clawing at his ribs.

“Hey, Steph!” Ruth said cheerfully as a sudden jump to Peter’s upper ribs startled a shriek out of him before falling back into hysterics.

“This is for playing the same overpowered character in Smash Bros! SMASH ATTACK!” Richie cried as he vibrated a hand into his victim’s stomach, prompting him to curl up in hopeless defense.

Meanwhile, Ruth was still talking to Steph, “Oh, we would love to come over to hang out! But,” she added, cutting Peter a sly glance, “we don’t want to intrude if Peter doesn’t want us there!”

She stood there for a moment, nodding to whatever Steph was saying, “Of course! Here, you can ask him yourself!”

And then she hit a button on his phone and Steph’s voice rang out, “Hey Pete! So, I was just talking to Ruth and I wanted to double-check if you were totally sure about them not being able to make it tomorrow night.”

“Steheheheph! Hehehehelp!” Was all he could get out in between fits of laughter.

His friends broke out into giggles as Steph said, “I can’t do much for you right now, but if you bring Ruth and Richie over I could help you out with some well-earned revenge! How does that sound?”

Peter could feel Richie’s fingers falter at the threat and see the faint blush rising on Ruth’s face through the tears that had begun to form in his eyes.

“Okay! Deal! They can come!” He took advantage of Richie’s moment of hesitation to get out his response and quickly rolled away, popping up to snatch his phone back out of Ruth’s hands.

“See you tomorrow! Love you! Bye!” And he hung up the phone to the sound of Steph’s laughter before whirling around to his so-called friends.

Peter flung one choice finger out at Ruth, “Fuck you!”

And then the other at Richie, “Fuck you more!”

They just grinned at him as he slumped back down on the couch and reached for his controller, “I think I deserve to kick your asses for a bit now.”

The groans that they let out were undermined by the way they both picked up their own remotes before sitting on either side of him. Richie leaned against Peter while Ruth dropped her head on his shoulder, and the warmth seeped through to his very core.

Well, Peter thought as Richie hit play, there are definitely worse ways to spend an evening than with my two best friends.

Now to kick. Their. Asses.

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phantomdecibel · 2 years ago

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okay so basically all the talk abt my boi euryl inspired me to whip up this quick lil thing now enjoy poli n euryl bullying odys into getting some sleep :)

oh yeah it doesnt have a name. so suffer i guess /j-

“When was the last time he slept, again?” Eurylochus muttered, crossing his arms as he watched Odysseus trip over his feet again. out of the corner of his eye he could see Polites wince, and then relax as their friend managed to right himself and carry on as if nothing had happened.

“I,” Polites hesitated, voice equally soft. “I’m not sure, to be honest. Its… been a while, though, if I had to say.”

Eurylochus snorted.

That much was obvious, and they both knew it. Polites watched Odysseus with an intensity that could rival a god’s, barely blinking as the two of them watched Odysseus stumble again. The man beside him tilted his head, just slightly, to the side, and Eurylochus found himself mirroring his friend. Normally Odysseus would have noticed them by now – following the man around staring was one of Polites’s favourite tactics to get Odysseus’s, or Eurylochus’s, attention and let him know he was about to get in trouble. It was… slightly unnerving, if Eurylochus was being honest, but amusing, too.

Point was; normally Odysseus would have noticed them following him around like this, and either glared them to the point of laughter or shooed them off. The fact that he hadn’t seemed to realize they were there was… concerning.

“If you don’t try talking to him soon,” Eurylochus sighed as Polites started trotting after Odysseus, following at a more leisurely pace, “then I’m taking matters into my own hands.”

“Oh, please don’t,” Polites snickered, glancing back at him. Eurylochus rolled his eyes, and nodded after their friend’s retreating back.

“Better hurry up and try something, then. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tripped over the side of the boat at this rate.”

“Alright, alright,” Polites conceded. Eurylochus picked up his pace so that they were walking side by side, and shared a look with him as Odysseus nearly fell over again. “Okay, okay, I’m going. Cut him off for me?”

Odysseus had never liked being confronted about his own poor self care (none of them did, to be honest), and if he saw Polites approaching him he would probably make a break for it. If he was tired enough though… well, if he were tired enough then Eurylochus should be able to herd the man right into Polites’s trap.

And, well, if that didn’t work…

Eurylochus nodded silently and took off, making his way around Odysseus from a distance. This was an old game by now; one of them would do something dumb, go too long without sleep, for example, and the other two would force their hand in any way they saw fit. It would be telling just how tired Odysseus was if he fell for the oldest trick in the book. There weren’t many good hiding places on the deck of a boat, but Eurylochus wasn’t exactly trying to hide – Odysseus hadn’t noticed him yet anyways.

Which. Concerning.

Eurylochus circled the deck, keeping one eye on his two friends, until Odysseus was sandwiched between himself and Polites. He still hadn’t noticed him, even though Eurylochus was right in front of him.

Looking past his weary friend, Eurylochus caught Polites gaze. The other man nodded, slowly and deliberately, and Eurylochus slowly started deliberately making his way over to Odysseus. Unlike earlier, when he was trying not to be seen, Eurylochus made sure to step a bit heavier than usual, and caught Odysseus’s gaze with a frown.

Odysseus froze when he finally, finally noticed Eurylochus stalking forwards, before wrenching their gazes apart and turning on his heel to hurry away – and running right into Polites.

Gotcha. Odysseus must be exhausted for that to have worked, the trick had been his idea in the first place, and one they used all the time in a number of different situations.

Eurylochus fell back as Polites trapped their friend in a conversation, gesturing with his hands. He didn’t need to know the exact words to know what was being said and what to watch for; while he himself had been in that same position on a number of occasions, Odysseus was the chronic overworker out of the three of them. Him and Polites had long since perfected forcing the stubborn man to get some rest.

Sure enough, Odysseus shook his head, waving a dismissing hand towards Polites. Polites himself didn’t look too surprised, with his hands on his hips and lips pursed with what Eurylochus had long since learned to recognize as concern. He let Odysseus go without too much of a fuss – an unusual sight for most of the crew, who were valiantly pretending they weren’t watching. Polites glanced back over at Eurylochus, though he really didn’t need the signal, already on the move.

His turn.

Odysseus had apparently forgotten he was there, because it was laughably easy to slink up behind him, following in his wake for a couple of steps until his friend relaxed, shoulders slumping as he realized Polites wasn’t following him.

A mistake, really.

Eurylochus lunged, using all the extra speed and strength he’d amassed from years at war to swipe Odysseus’s feet out from underneath him. The man yelped as he fell, flailing a little in surprise, but Eurylochus was quick to catch him and throw him over his shoulder, holding his friend there with one arm.

“Oof–” Unbalanced, there wasn’t much Odysseus could do to protest the rough treatment until he’d gained his bearings, but at that point it was much too late. “Wh– hey! Eurylochus–”

Odysseus struggled, trying to kick him in the side. Eurylochus just weathered through the weak blows, and tightened his grip, hauling the other man off towards his cabin. Polites trailed behind them, snickering and waving the befuddled crew off. Eurylochus turned towards him briefly to shoot his friend a smug smirk, while Odysseus glared between the two of them. Polites rolled his eyes at Eurylochus, but snickered just a little bit louder each time Odysseus’s baleful glare was fixed on him.

“Put me down!” Odysseus hissed, flailing some more. Eurylochus felt him shift, presumably to swipe at Polites. He probably missed though, Eurylochus was holding him too tightly for him to go far, and Polites had been lingering out of reach last time he’d checked. Plus, the man in question only started wheezing with laughter. Odysseus writhed in his grasp, twisting to gently bonk Eurylochus on the head and repeating “Put me down!”

“No can do, Captain,” Eurylochus hummed, amusement dying. As funny as Odysseus’s flailing was, the circumstances were still… concerning. “This is an intervention. You need some sleep.”

“I’m fine,” the man objected in vain. Idly, Eurylochus adjusted his hold on his friend again. Odysseus clearly wasn’t, but he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter anymore.

“You’re not,” Polites gently pushed back. He must have still been a bit too far away, because Odysseus didn’t try to swat at him again. “Eurylochus is right. You didn’t even notice us following you around all day.”

“I did–” but he sounded more petulant than honest. Eurylochus snorted softly.

“We both know you too well for that. It’s bedtime for you.”

Odysseus hissed unintelligibly, kicking weakly again. Polites darted past them, off in the direction of Odysseus’s cabin, leaving Eurylochus to deal with their squirming friend on his own. He grunted as another kick collided with his ribs, but there wasn’t any real force behind it. They both knew that Odysseus wouldn’t be escaping any time soon, even if the man didn’t want to accept it yet.

Still, getting continuously kicked in roughly the same place would bruise eventually, even if it didn’t hurt, and that was something Eurylochus was looking to avoid, thank you very much. Luckily, their destination wasn’t far.

Sure enough, Polites held the door to Odysseus’s cabin open, and grinned as he held up a key at Eurylochus’s enquiring glance. He nodded and darted into the room, studiously ignoring Odysseus’s newly envigored attempts to escape.

This had to be done quickly, in and out before Odysseus had a chance to react, with the door locked before he could reach it to try and stop them. Eurylochus eyed the cot in the corner, piled with a number of extra blankets and pillows Polites must have gathered. Hmm, this should be fine…

It was slightly more difficult with the way Odysseus was flailing, but Eurylochus still managed to drop the man from his shoulder and catch him again without too much fuss. Just a little bit closer, then he could run.

“Do not–” Odysseus hissed, but there was no stopping Eurylochus now.

With one last step, he hoisted Odysseus up into the air and tossed him onto the pile in the corner, turning on his heel and booking it out of the cabin. Polites slammed the door shut in time with a thump coming from back inside, probably Odysseus falling from the bed in a desperate attempt to untangle himself from the blankets, and locked it as Eurylochus held it shut in case Odysseus managed to reach the door before the last step of their plan could be completed.

Seconds after Polites had pulled back with a satisfied grin, something collided against the door with a series of muffled curses. Eurylochus stayed leant against it, but the door held firm. When no further escape attempts followed, he pushed off it to offer Polites, who had fallen to the ground in a fit of laughter, a hand up. Once his friend had composed himself, Polites leant back towards the door, where Odysseus’s footsteps could be heard pacing back and forth.

“Get some rest, my friend!”

Eurylochus nodded, even though their friend couldn’t see him. “We’ll make sure the fleet doesn’t burn down while you’re gone, Captain. You’d better be asleep by the time we get back.”

The two of them waited until Odysseus’s footsteps had stopped, and then a minute more. When it seemed like the man had finally accepted his fate, the two of them crept off.

“That went better than expected!” Polites chirped, clapping his hands together.

“That it did.”

Polites bumped their shoulders together. “I totally thought he was going to bite you, my friend!”

Eurylochus snorted and rolled his eyes, elbowing his friend in retaliation.

“He knew it wouldn’t have helped him,” he side-eyed the grinning Polites, not bothering to fight down his own smirk. “Which is why I’m always the one who grabs him.”

Polites scoffed good naturedly, but didn’t otherwise respond, and they continued to make their way to the bow of the ship.

“What are you all looking at?” Eurylochus called out to the lingering crew. “Full speed ahead!”

Edit: oh yeah forgot to mention – ignore the implication that doors can only be locked from the outside lmao

#the epic the musical brainrot strikes again #epic the musical #the odyssey #eurylochus #polites #odysseus #mans needs a nap lmao #my wrtitng #fic #listen. theyre best friends your honour. brothers. even-#they fear no consequences (bc odys is soft for his friends its not like theyre gonna get in trouble lmao)#...yeah this was entirely an excuse to write eurylochus. sorry not sorry-#my trick for writing characters? everyone is a cat now. just write them as if they were a cat-#/j /j #(can. you tell i was a warrior cats kid XD)

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