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[aceghosts]

UQuiz Roundup

Hey everybody! I was tagged by @nightbloodraelle, @marivenah, @fourlittleseedlings, @captastra, @sstewyhosseini, and @direwombat to take these uquizes, here and here.

Gonna send some no pressure tags to @jinfromyarikawa, @baldurrs, @clicheantagonist, @nightwingshero, @deputy-morgan-malone, @astorythatwritesitself, @derelictheretic, @strangefable and anyone else who wants to do this.

Blue Murphy

Fairy

You are a fairy! Depending on the type, fairies come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Above all, they resemble the typical human physique. Fairies are beautiful, energetic, magical creatures. They have unlimited abilities, depending on the type they are. Some can make flowers bloom, others might be able to talk to animals and become friendly with them. To conclude, fairies will do whatever they can to make their peers happy. If you have a fairy friend, you're in luck! Don't take them for granted. But also remember to not be too oblivious! Some fairies can be tricksters!

desperate narrator

this story is a cycle, and you're spinning around it like a hamster in a ball being tormented by a cat. you know how this story ends. after all, you've told it a thousand times. but you try to change it every time. you love the people in this story more than anything. so watching them fall victim to the narrative breaks you in a way you can't begin to describe. but all you can do is tell the story── their story── with tears in your eyes. you're prone to anxiety and feelings of helplessness. you have so much love in your heart, and for once you wish it would change something. it didn't. it doesn't. it won't. but you refuse to stop telling the story. and you refuse to stop loving the people in it. in this way, no one is stronger than you. you just wish being strong hurt less.

Commander Rooney Shepard

Witch

You are a witch! With witchcraft and magic, witches have the ability to cast spells with power that cannot be humanely comprehended. The spells can be in any form, whether it's words, a formula, or even a ritual practice. Besides this, witches are always curious, always eager to learn something new, whether it's about themselves or about the universe. They may not be the biggest fan of crowds, or getting together with handfuls of people, but they are drawn mentally, emotionally, and spiritually towards animals and nature, and aspire to uncover the life hidden beneath it. Though, as much as they seem to be cautious of their peers, they will do whatever it takes to protect those they love and those they care about. And, dare I say, they are big risk-takers!

bold protagonist

you're the star of the show, baby! and boy does that come with a lot of emotional turmoil. you have a seemingly endless supply of determination. whether you have a lot of goals, or one big one, you're constantly working towards it. you're pretty restless, and struggle with imposter syndrome and generally feeling like you should be doing more. your insecurity might not be immediately obvious to others, however, as you come across as very strong and bold. vulnerability is not your strong suit, and that's likely to be your downfall. if only you had just let people in, and asked for help... well, maybe this was always gonna be a tragedy.

Hunter Delaney

Vampire

You are a vampire! Vampires are undead creatures that feed on the vital essence of the living. Since they can't really consume humane foods, they survive by feeding on the blood of human beings instead. Besides this, vampires are mysterious, elegant, intimidating creatures. They are usually quiet, concealed, and choose to isolate themselves when stranded with large groups of people... and like so, they enjoy staying indoors instead of exploring the outside world. However, as gloomy as they seem, vampires are loyal creatures that will do whatever it takes to protect those they love from either themselves or other supernatural creatures.

bold protagonist

you're the star of the show, baby! and boy does that come with a lot of emotional turmoil. you have a seemingly endless supply of determination. whether you have a lot of goals, or one big one, you're constantly working towards it. you're pretty restless, and struggle with imposter syndrome and generally feeling like you should be doing more. your insecurity might not be immediately obvious to others, however, as you come across as very strong and bold. vulnerability is not your strong suit, and that's likely to be your downfall. if only you had just let people in, and asked for help... well, maybe this was always gonna be a tragedy.

Riley Callahan

Kitsune

You are a Kitsune! Magical, immortal, and absolutely adorable, a Kitsune is a legendary fox, originated in Japan, but inspired by Chinese folktales. Kitsunes are incredibly wise, but can be incredibly dangerous as well. They specialize in the art of illusion and imagination, and can be considered very creative, stunning creatures. I mean, who doesn't love foxes?

sweet supporting character

i wanna be your grandma so bad, please let me pinch your face and knit you a sweater. you're most likely the best friend of the protagonist, and there's some possible overlap between you and the narrator. you're sweet and try very hard to be selfless. you watch the ones you love descend into darkness, and make every effort to help them through it all. it's not enough. you keep trying to make it enough. you provide comic relief, a listening ear, a hug, advice── any method of support you can think of. your own personal tragedy isn't documented. sometimes you wish it was, even though you're the one who ensures it is not. you want people to care for you the way you do for others. but you refuse to ask for it, so you wait for others to read between the lines. they usually don't. at least you're the one who gets to survive the tragedy. no matter how many times you beg to trade places, it is always you at the end, sitting at someone else's grave.

Emerson Wright

Vampire

You are a vampire! Vampires are undead creatures that feed on the vital essence of the living. Since they can't really consume humane foods, they survive by feeding on the blood of human beings instead. Besides this, vampires are mysterious, elegant, intimidating creatures. They are usually quiet, concealed, and choose to isolate themselves when stranded with large groups of people... and like so, they enjoy staying indoors instead of exploring the outside world. However, as gloomy as they seem, vampires are loyal creatures that will do whatever it takes to protect those they love from either themselves or other supernatural creatures.

misunderstood villain

prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

[renthony]

OFMD has officially been cancelled, and I am once again thinking about all the people in the world who nitpick diverse media to hell and back when it isn't 100% perfect, as if having nothing at all would be preferable.

I'm so fucking tired of good, earnest, diverse media getting held to ridiculous standards by both networks AND fans, and then getting cancelled.

It was supposed to be three seasons. David Jenkins fucking said it was supposed to be three seasons. And then the network dragged its ass on renewing for season 2, and now...no season 3.

FUCK this shit. I'm so tired of media by and for marginalized artists getting fucked over. I'm tired of marginalized people fighting for scraps and then getting the rug whipped out from under us.

Yeah, OFMD isn't the only thing out there. There are other things to go enjoy, for the moment. But the fact that it's the shows that are queer and multicultural that keep getting cancelled is pretty fucking transparent, and I've seen quite a lot of concern from people in the industry about the direction we're headed. The outlook is concerning. It's more important now than ever to support marginalized artists, whether they're making indie art or trying to get something made by a mainstream studio.

Our Flag Means Death. Warrior Nun. One Day At A Time. Willow. Dead End: Paranormal Park. First Kill. Q-Force. The Owl House. Steven Universe. A League of Their Own. Vampire Academy. I could go on, but I don't need to, because there are entire lists that have been curated by news sites: Gay Times, Out, Autostraddle, Pride, Movieweb, Collider.

There's a reason I spend so much time and energy studying things like the Hays Code and the history of censorship. This shit comes in waves, and the only way marginalized artists survive it is through community support, mutual aid, and being really goddamn loud.

So be loud. Make art. Support your fellow artists and the artists you love. We need each other if we're going to weather the storm.

[whumperstorm]

Supressing Fire - Part 3

Content: Vampire whumper, defiant whumpee, choking, mild violence, past child abuse

Keegan struggles to settle into her captivity. Even if she wants to cooperate while she heals, she's not very good at it. Kane is his usual angry, lonely self.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 1/Previous/Next

Keegan spends her week of recovery worrying about her sister. Lohitha can handle herself, but she's still a kid, and Keegan has been gone a while now, and will be for at least another month. She needs to know if she’s ok. That she has a warm place to stay and food to eat. God, she probably thinks Keegan is dead... Or worse, that she abandoned her. The idea alone leave’s Keegan’s heart aching in her chest.

Her anxious thoughts swirl around into a storm of worry in her brain to the point she can't sleep. She's almost glad when Kane returns once her pneumonia clears up. She was about ready to start pounding on the door just for the distraction.

"Good evening," Kane greets as he enters. He's had some time to calm down in the week since. He's glad to be back, too. He's trying to look at it as a fresh start. He can feed from his human like a proper vampire, and everything will be fine and normal from now on. "Are you better now?"

Keegan takes as deep a breath as she can with her injuries. 'keep calm. cooperate.' She reminds herself. 'Even though he has a very punchable face.'

"I am. Pneumonia-wise at least. Ribs’ still fucked." She says, sitting up.

"That's good to hear. Hopefully, such things are behind us now."

"Mhm." she hums, not trusting herself with a response.

He almost sounds like he cares that she's feeling better. But Keegan knows he's just glad he has is bloodbag back. She can't believe he's acting so nonchalant now. 

Kane decides to feed with his human sitting down, worried about causing more damage to her ribs- he does not want to go back to the doctor. He wishes she wasn't taller than him, so it wouldn't be an issue. He'll choose more wisely next time.

He licks the wound shut when he's done. "I'll take a new grocery list." He says. It's been a week, and his human is surely running low on food.

Keegan shudders with disgust. She put bandages on the list so hopefully she can get him to stop licking her once they're delivered. She hands him the note, mostly just restocking what she had, then after a moment she blurts out, "Do you have a phone?"

"I do. Much more efficient than letters for most things, nowadays." Kane can already see where she's going with this. There's no reason she'd be asking otherwise. "And no, you may not use it."

Her instinct is to snap back at him, but this is too important. "Please, I just need to call my sister. You can listen in if you think I'm gonna try to send a code or something."

Kane is neither amused nor sympathetic. "If you think you are getting any concessions after your little stunt, you are out of your fucking mind. Forget about your sister. You're mine now."

The words hit Keegan like a slap to the face. Anger and desperation bubble up in her stomach in equal measure. "Forget about- How dare you! She's only twelve and she's all alone now. I need to make sure she has somewhere to go! This isn't about me."

"How many times do I have to remind you to watch your tone?" Kane snaps back, unwavering. The thought of his human having a caring family makes him angrier, for reasons he doesn't want to think about. "She's just a human, and what happens back in human territory doesn't concern you anymore. Get over it."

Get over it.

Kane can say whatever the fuck he wants about Keegan. But the moment the words about Lohitha are out of his mouth, she's swinging. No one insults her little sister. "You heartless LEECH-"

Kane grabs her arm before the punch can connect. He's furious now.

"You will show proper respect!" he barks. He lets go of her arm, but takes her neck just as quickly, slamming her into the wall. His grip is tight enough that she can't speak, can't breathe. Can't disrespect him anymore.

Keegan chokes, scrabbling at the bruising grip against her throat. Her vision wavers. She has no air! She kicks her legs wildly in panic.

"What? Can't run your fucking mouth now?" Kane mocks- zero humor in his voice, only rage. But he knows that humans can't survive without air too long like vampires can. After about ten seconds, he lets go, throwing her to the ground. Probably not the best for her healing ribs, but he's too pissed-off to care.

Keegan desperately sucks in air, trying to curl up against the pain, but that only makes it worse. She kneels there gasping for a moment until she doesn’t feel on the brink of passing out. She looks up at Kane, who seems much more menacing now, towering over her. ‘Just like-’

"Learned your lesson?"

She nods in defeat, too afraid to speak, in case she angers him more.

"Good." He leaves her alone. 

Keegan remains kneeling on the floor, arms wrapped around herself like a hug, for a long time. Tears burn at the corner of her eyes once again. She fiercely holds them back, thinking only of her hatred for Kane until the ache in her heart is locked away.

-----

Things continue in a similar manner for some time. Kane feeds, his human usually complies, but often mouths off. There are no more major incidents for weeks, and his human's injury seems to be healing. It could almost be called peaceful. He gets her groceries as requested. He never spends more than about five minutes a day with her. 

Kane has always been lonely, but being lonely with someone else in his house is a new experience. He knows it's not the same, it's not like she's a person. But one rainy night, about a month and a half later, he's feeling particularly lonely. He remembers how he and Bellamy would play chess on rainy nights like these when he was a boy. He knows it's pathetic, but after feeding that night, he sticks around. "Would you be interested in playing a game or watching a movie? I'm bored."

Keegan can't help herself. "What, you don't have any vampire buddies to hang out with?"

It sours Kane's mood instantly. Why did he think this would be a good idea? "Shut the fuck up. Final warning." He ignores the question. "And final offer."

Keegan backs off. She doesn't want to ruin this chance. She hates him; she should tell him to fuck off and leave her alone. But she also feels like she's going to tear her hair out if she doesn't get out of this room.

"Yeah alright. Sure." She stands up.

Kane is pleased he's gotten her to accept without needing to embarrass himself. He doesn't really like her, but... he's tired of being alone, and she's here.

He holds the door open for her. "Do you want chess or cards?"

"Depends on if you're willing to teach me how to play chess." Keegan says.

"I am. Everyone starts somewhere." With that, Kane takes the chess set out. He positions it in the middle of the couch and begins arranging the black pieces. "Set up the white pieces on your side the same way I'm setting up mine. White goes first and has a slight advantage."

Keegan sits down across from him and follows his directions. "Aw," She smirks. "Giving me the advantage? How sweet."

‘Maybe this will be ok.’ Keegan thinks. If nothing else, to make them less violent towards each other until she’s able to escape. It feels so weird though.

"You're the beginner." Kane says. It should be obvious that she gets the advantage, right? How pathetic would it be if he took the advantageous position over someone just learning to play, when he's been playing chess for nearly a century? "Have you ever played checkers?"

"Yeah, me and my si-" Keegan cuts herself off. Best not to talk about her sister right now. Or think about her. She starts again. "Yeah, I've played checkers. I tried to get into chess a few times but never committed. But, I'm bored enough to learn."

-----

Kane explains the rules: how each piece moves, how to determine a check or checkmate. He even goes over a few basic opening moves and strategies. "While you're learning, you can go back and change moves if you realize you've made a mistake. You go first."

Keegan follows Kanes directions, and actually ends up figuring it out pretty quickly. It's complicated, but in a challenging puzzle kind of way. Halfway through their first game, she speaks up.

"So earlier, what I said was a genuine question. Like, what do you do all day? You even got a job?"

"I don't need a job, I'm nobility. Tonight's too dreary to go out." There are no windows in Kane's house, but the rain can be heard pattering against the walls. "I'd need to drive instead of run, and parking is aggravating..."

He avoids his human's question yet again, too embarrassed to admit he's a hermit.

"Good to know that traffic is just as ass on this side of the border." Keegan says. "I run just for the hell of it and I've done it in the rain, but I suppose it's different if you're going a hundred miles an hour." She'd love to be running right now. She hasn't seen the sun in over a month.

Keegan moves her rook absent-mindedly.

"Oh, look at that! You made check!" Kane points out excitedly. He's glad the human's picking it up fast: it makes for more interesting games than if he had to just babysit her for it. He makes a move away. "Try to do it again. And yes, it's far different when running. Imagine driving in the rain with no windshield."

Keegan blinks in surprise. "Oh, I did?" She moves again with her knight this time.

She ends up close to checkmate a few times before making a mistake and getting cornered. She finds herself enjoying the evening more than she thought. The two chat idly, it's awkward, but bearable.

She beats him in only her third game.

"Very good!" Kane praises. He must be an excellent teacher. This is ideal: it would be boring playing against a beginner so much, tediously building up her skills. The human's even been nice to be around, far more so than he'd expected. "You're an absolute natural."

"Thanks." It was probably a fluke, Keegan is not very good at tabletop games. She hopes he wasn't going easy on her. Or worse, patronizing her. He sounds genuine in his excitement at least. But then it happens again. And again. The game is surprisingly simple for her now that she knows the rules. She can easily guess Kane's moves and prepare accordingly, almost like moves in a fight.

Now this is exciting. Kane has to admit he's gotten rusty: he hasn't had someone to play chess with in quite a while, and often would only practice against himself in solo chess. That must be why this young human with her fresh ideas is beating him. And it means he has something to work towards. That night is the most fun Kane's had in ages.

----

Keegan's ribs eventually heal. Her bruises fade. She regains her full range motion and a new appreciation for the ability to stretch her arms above her head. She's been in Kane's house for two months now. It's been... tolerable. Kane feeds every evening, and although her pain tolerance is high and the bites themselves don't bother her too much, the repetition is starting to drive her up the wall. Kane also didn't accept her proposal to use bandages, stating that it would be "wasting blood". The disgusting licks continue. 

Now that she's healed, she wants to stop pretending she's ok with all of this bullshit. Some days, when he invites her out for chess, she and Kane actually seem to get along. They're personalities are similar enough that Keegan thinks they maybe could have been friends if they'd met differently. If he wasn’t an abusive piece of shit that kidnaps people.

Kane has allowed her some amenities to help her pass the time. Books, art supplies, etc. However, Keegan has always been outdoorsy, and being cooped up is making her twitchy. She hasn’t been on a run, seen the sky, or had a goddamn cigarette for far too long. Her temper is even shorter than normal, and she's paid the price multiple times when she's mouthed off at Kane. She's still a prisoner and now that she's healed, her mind is screaming at her to Get. Out.

 Which is a problem. Because she has no plan. She has no weapons, any time she's out of the room, Kane is right there, and the door is always locked up tight when she's alone. She wishes she could talk to her hunting partner. Vivian was always the levelheaded one. The one with the plan. Keegan isn’t patient like her. She’s the fighter. The muscle. She isn’t meant to be idle. Something needs to change soon or she's going to blow a fuse. 

It all comes to a head one night while Keegan is cooking dinner. She's been extra pissed off tonight, for reasons she can't pinpoint, but everything is making her skin crawl. She's a ticking time bomb. And it's something so small that does it. She's reaching towards the fridge to fill her cup of water, and her sleeve snags on the cabinet. Something snaps in her mind. She sees red and she hurls the glass across the kitchen, shattering it against the wall with a loud BANG. 

Fuck.

Kane is on the second floor, and wouldn't usually hear anything going on in the human quarters, but vampires have very good hearing, and that was loud.

He rushes to the door. He hesitates a moment, mindful that the human's attacked before. But he took all her weapons, didn't he? And she's been behaving. Surely, this is unrelated.

He flings the door open. "What was that?"

Keegan stares uncomprehendingly at the mess of glass. Her blood is still boiling. That wasn't enough. She hears Kane behind her and that just makes her Angier. Can he not just leave her alone??

"AUGH, fuck OFF!" she roars. Not even specifically at him. At everything. At nothing. She turns back around and swipes her empty plate off the counter for good measure.

"Hey! What the fuck!?" Kane storms toward her with violent intent, instantly pissed-off.

Slap. 

"What's gotten into you? Stop this at once!"

The sting of the hand across her face cuts through the haze of anger, and for a moment, it's no longer Kane standing over her, but her father. Liquor bottle in hand and fist raised with the promise of more pain. Keegan cowers.

"Wait! I'm sorry- I'm sorry! She gasps for breath, her heart pounding. "I just... I need a minute."

"What is this?" Kane gestures wildly at the floor, broken glass and ceramic strewn all over. "You're breaking my things, making a mess, and telling me to fuck off? You'd better be sorry!"

Keegan takes a few deep breaths to collect herself, hoping Kane won't use her silence as a reason to hit her again.

"I can't... I can't do this," She says desperately, grabbing fistfulls of her hair. "I'm going insane in here. I didn't mean to break the- I just got angry."

Kane hates how much he relates to that. He shouldn't be relating to a human. This isn't supposed to be an equal relationship. "Well, you need to clean this shit up and get a handle on it. You're my human now, and you need to get used to it," he says firmly.

"I can't just 'get a handle on it'." She argues. "It runs in my family. I need an outlet or this is gonna happen again. Back at home I had a-" Oh. Maybe that would work? Only if she can convince him though. She stands up. 

"Listen, I'll clean this up, alright? I don't like breaking things. Back at home, when I couldn’t go outside, I had this punching bag that I'd take my energy out on, or just hit for fun. If you'd get me one, I promise not to break any more of your things."

It's not proper. Kane pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. He shouldn't be rewarding his human with gifts when she misbehaves.

But... if it works? If it actually helps her behave? He needs all the help he can get.

"Fine!" he concedes. "No more outbursts or I take it away and all your breakables get replaced with plastic. Clean this up. Now. I'll take the remains when you're done." He's not stupid enough to leave an array of sharp objects in the human's hands again.

He actually went for it. Keegan is surprised, but relieved. Losing her cool is always humiliating, but here, it's a threat to her safety. Hopefully this way she can get Kane off her back. And maybe get hit a little less...

"Got it." She says, trying not to grimace at him ordering her around. She wasn't going to just leave it there. She steps past him to the closet for the broom and dustpan, and his eyes bore into her back while she cleans. Why is he just standing there? She doesn't need a fucking chaperone. It makes the anger simmer back to the surface but she forces it down. 'I'm getting what I want here, just relax'.

Kane waits until every shard is swept up into a trash bag, then takes it. "See to it this doesn't happen again."

It's three nights later when he shows up for his feeding with a gift: the punching bag. He hands it over after he's finished feeding, licking the human's blood off his lips. "Here. Vampire punching bags are far too strong for a human, so I've had to order it special from human territory. You'd better appreciate it."

"Thanks!" Despite the circumstances, Keegan is ecstatic about the punching bag. It makes sense that it wouldn't be a vampire's version, and it concerns her how easily Kane can just get things from human territory, but she doesn't dwell on it. He already stole a literal human from there anyway. She's also not surprised that he doesn't offer to help her set it up and unfortunately that means she's going to have to ask him for another favor. Unless she wants to fight with this thing for the next three hours. 

"Um, I can set up the stand and everything but... Would you maybe... hook it on the chain when I'm done?" Keegan asks. ‘Please say yes, I don't want to throw my back out before I even get to use it.’

"Only if you ask properly." Kane figures he can use this as an opportunity to get his human used to using proper titles. The punching bag will help her behave in more ways than one.

Keegan grimaces. "I'll do it myself." She turns around and starts to unpack the pieces.

Kane sighs. "You'll have to learn your place eventually. If you end up changing your mind, just leave it and you'll have another chance tomorrow." He leaves her, wondering if he's made the right decision. It's been months, and she's still not respecting him. Maybe he should try forcing his hand more with it. He'll see how this goes, first.

Keegan is smug as she sets up the stand. Maybe it's petty, but she'll take what rebellion she can get. She doesn't need him, she can do it. She'll make a pulley system out of her bedsheets or something.

-----

She can't do it. Not for lack of trying, but she just doesn't have the tools or the strength to lift it high enough. She stubbornly works at it for hours, but eventually she has to call it quits when she hears a small rip from the fabric. Her face burns when Kane returns the next morning.

"Please help me lift it, sir." She forces out between clenched teeth.

To his credit, Kane shows no outward signs of gloating, though he is certainly celebrating on the inside. He wants the human to want to address him properly, he's not going to push her away from doing so. He nods, nice and casual. "Of course." The bag is as light as it was when he carried it inside the previous night, and he sets it up with ease. "That looks like it should about do it. Now, mealtime."

---

Keegan is expecting smugness, and Kane’s calm demeanor is almost worse. She knows she just lost this little game of theirs and she knows he knows that. But, the bag is up now at least. She can tape a picture of Kane's face on it later to make feel better.

She has to wait a little while after the feeding to regenerate her blood sugar before she gets to try it out. When she does, it’s perfect. Her muscles burn with the effort after her lack of exercise, but it's satisfying and stimulating in the best way. For hours, she wails all her frustrations out on it. Her anger, her helplessness, her embarrassment. The loneliness and sadness that she's been holding all this time, released through every strike. By the time she's done she can tell she'll be sore as hell tomorrow. But she feels satisfied and relaxed in a way she hasn't since her captivity began.

Her mind feels clearer too. She'll find a way out of here. She'll find a way back to Lohitha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @whumpsday @not-a-space-alien @anomalys-taxonomy @what-if-i-just-did @dragonqueenslayer6

[kaija-rayne-author]

I guess the discourse today is about Astarion being the favourite poster boy of the devs to the detriment of the other characters.

Yes. That's unequivocally true. Wyll having so little compared to Astarion is also an example of racism.

It's also capitalism. Larian can't make more games unless BG3 does well. So far it has, so in their choice of poster boy they chose correctly.

Every business, especially entertainment ones, follows a similar model. Develop stories or games that the previous game helped fund. It's common in book publishing too.

(Which, tbf, is my realm of knowledge, but the business facts are the same.)

What you, if you're indie, or the publisher, if not, chooses to spend time on is the thing/character/aspect/story that will sell the most copies so they can stay in business.

They bet on Astarion being popular because:

1. Vampire, vampire stories don't seem to get old. People want more.

2. White hair, if you're at all into gaming or anime, you should recognize the white-haired anime boy coding Astarion has.

3. He's pretty. In games & books like these, people want to get turned on or be sucked into emotions, that's rather the point. So, of course, they made him pretty and gave him an angsty backstory about it. Have you noticed that his vampire fangs are the more traditional style and the rest have funky (and likely more efficient) chompers with the fangs on the front teeth?

4. Twink, you'd have to be really not paying attention to not notice that one. They tend to be attractive to the largest section of players.

6. Slow burn, a lot of people prefer slow burn romance.

7. Classically handsome. You could turn him into a statue (and can!) and he wouldn't look out of place.

I don't experience this type of point form character building, my characters tend to march fully formed into my head and demand I write them.

But Astarion was built as a fictional character that would (hopefully) capture a broad cross-section of players and give the game some more sex appeal.

Sex sells.

I'd lay money I don't have on every aspect of Astarion's character having been a deliberate choice to encourage sales.

And that's fine. That's what capitalism does. Don't like it? Start voting for social support programs and things like ubi so that people can create without worrying about the bills.

Is it fair to the other characters and to the gamers who love other characters more than Astarion? Absolutely not. I do hope Larian gets the message and produces more content to make them all equivocal.

Especially for Wyll, they did him so dirty.

Is Wyll having the least lines and scenes racist? Yup.

Larian, despite their faults, produced something that so few games companies have done recently. A single purchase, single player RPG without micro-transactions that was an excellent game straight from release.

Other games companies are bitching about that because it's like sand in the oyster of their business models.

Which, for a while now, has been to roll out a game that wasn't ready yet and use the players as unpaid, uncompensated labour to find bugs etc. As a gamer, I've really hated that.

Did Larian fuck up? Uh, yeah. On several issues. But they also made an amazing game that was awesome from release.

It would be a shame to lose sight of that.

It's important to call out the shite when we see it, but the current 'it has to be perfect for me, or I won't play' attitude rampant on the 'net these days is disturbing to say the least.

I've read Larian has a feedback thing on fridays. If this really bothers you, hustle on over and participate in the feedback session.

They're still actively working on the game. They can still make changes and they seem reasonably responsive to fan feedback.

But just remember... the reason Astarion is the poster boy with the most content is because of capitalism. It was likely a cold, business focused decision vs anything else.

Which doesn't make it better. I just figured inserting a bit of entertainment business knowledge might be helpful to the discussion.

[ghostwiser]

people went so feral about Charlie's last campaign where really only one of the characters was canon queer-coded and they all probably smelled like BO, cigarettes, and weed. HOW are we gonna deal with 1. vampirism which is inherently kinda homoerotic, 2. at least two PCs that are already so fucking gay plus one that we can safely assume will be super hot, and 3. Charlie's inability to play NPCs without some sexual tension with the PCs. Not to mention that the ruleset they're using is apparently like FULL of sexual stuff. Just saying brace yourselves fellow queers I think we're gonna be in for it this time

[creepy-old-memes]

genuinely thrilled that this blog exists. like i don't know WHY so many people take issue with this ship. fiction is fiction, who gives a shit?

no, ACTUAL teenage girls shouldn't be out frolicking around with weird, creepy, middle aged men, but lydia deetz is not a real teenage girl and beetlejuice is not a real creepy old guy. also they're literally so couple "coded" anyway like. basically canon regardless, shut the fuck up (not you <3)

anyways ily and i love ur blog, thank u for the safe space to ship the weird goth girl and her weirdo smelly boyfriend

aww thanks anon <3

AND EXACTLY like of course I wouldn’t condone a 30 something and a teen dating in real life THATS CRAZY and fucking gross!

But that’s not what I’m doing it’s teen x immortal being which hello?! Reaaaallllly common trope, seen it a million times but what? Because he’s not conventionally attractive and doesn’t look the same age it’s bad™? I’m sorry but wasn’t there a million dollar franchise about a 100 yr old vampire falling for a teen girl?

I just don’t get the disconnect people have that one is morally evil and the other is totally fine?? And I’m not even saying so therefore you have to like it or have no issue I’m saying just chill out, it’s really not that deep, let people do their own thing, and the world sucks, having silly enjoyment like this shouldn’t be causing people to get this angry and writing DNI on EVERYTHING it’s just goofy.

So in short, enjoy the memes it’s time we make shitposts

[loving-family-poll]

Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 1

Propaganda under the cut:

Charlie/Charlie:

literally the blueprint. it's implied that charles once had a quasi-incestuous relationship with his sister (charlie's mother) and once she got married put all his affection into the child that was named for him

She tries to get him convicted of murder, he tries to kill her. the whole thing is wrapped in a metaphor about growing up and sexual maturity and the rot at the center of the normal all-american family. their final conflict takes place on a train which is. uh. if you know anything about hitchcock. that's. that's a phallus. whatever they have going on is so much weirder than if they just fucked nasty.

They parallel each other and understand each other to a point where there's some unexplained telepathy happening and they are framed by the camera as love interests, whereas her scenes with her love interest are shot as if something's off about them

Uncle Charlie says she's the thing he loves most in the world and gives her a ring

They have a folger-esque 'no, I don't need any presents, you're here' scene

She's very happy to have her friends see them together and both act jealous when the other is being approached by someone else.

They beat the Hays Code and walked so Stoker and House of the Dragon could run

They repeatedly say they're more like twins than an uncle and niece

"Because we're not just an uncle and a niece. It's something else."

Damon/Stefan:

mortal enemies and lovers forever <3

one of the characters in the show said 'they fight like dogs but they would die for each other' and i haven't been normal about them since. so much angst and hatefucking potential with these two

Damon dedicated his life to making Stefan’s miserable. Damon only becomes interested in his canon love interest when he realizes that Stefan likes her too. They both blame each other for ruining each other’s life miserable. They look like they’re about to fuck every single time they’re on screen. Stefan thinks about Damon during sex and vice versa

Stefan LITERALLY COMMITTED MURDER-SUICIDE SO DAMON COULD BE HAPPY AND THEY REUNITED IN HEAVEN SAMDEAN STYLE.

youtube.com/watch?v=Yai7UyRyF5I

youtube.com/watch?v=S09Nsj3s4K0

youtube.com/watch?v=eUqUjiY34yI

[misscinnamonroll16]

Brozone Playlist

Now Floyd has a LOT of songs. A lot of them are solely because they're rock and he'd like that (again, personal headcanon). He's also slutty some songs are like that.

Previous Brother Next Brother

Gossip by Maneskin

Anything MCR related

My band by D12

Bleeders by Black veil brides 

I wanna be your slave by Maneskin

Poison by Blake Roman/ Angel dust (he's so angel dust coded)

Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels by Todrick Hall

Psycho Crazy by Halestrom 

Final Girl(too pretty to die) by PI3RCE

FIFTY FIFTY by Cupid

Chop Chop Slide by Insane Clown Posse ( him and Clay have a lot of songs that they unknowingly share)

Cannibal by Nethan Apollo

Fall out boy songs 

Heaven was full (I’m headed straight to hell) by TX2

Everywhere I go by Hollywood Undead

Punk tactics by Joey Valence and Brae

I’m not a Vampire by Falling in reverse

Freak Show by PI3RCE

Wolf in Sheeps Clothing by Set it off

Barbie & Ken by Scene Queen and Set it off

Till Death by PI3RCE 

21st Century Vampire by Huddy

Valentino by Years & Years & MNEK

Take a Hint by Meghan Kabir (this version bc swearing and drinks)

Anything from a musical

Hallowennie IV by Ashnikko

I’ve already said this but Melanie Martinez

Panic at The Disco 

Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill

Slumber Party by Ashnikko

Daisy by Ashnikko

Build a Bitch by Bella Poarch

Billionaire by Bruno Mars and Travie McCoy

Porn Star Dancing by My Darkest Days

Flesh by Simon Curtis 

Pretty Little Psycho by Porcelain Black

My First Kiss by 3OH!3 featuring Ke$ha

Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day 

How to be a heartbreaker by Marina and the Diamonds (ironic name for Floyd to like lol)

You call me a bitch like it’s a bad thing by Halestorm

Telephone by Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce 

Good girls go bad by Cobra Starship

Sarcasm by Get Scared 

Single Ladies by Beyonce 

Barbie girl by Aqua

Big girls don’t cry by Fergie

Secret by The Pierces

Wake Up by Black Veil Brides

Do Not Disturb by Halestorm 

Familiar Taste Of Poison by Halestorm 

Love Bite (so do I) by Halestorm

Fuck you by Lily Allen 

P!nk

I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin

Bring me to life by evanescence 

Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin

I hate everything about you by Three days grace

Bad Romance but specifically the punk version

Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani 

Don’t stop the music by Rihanna 

Misery Business by Paramore

Everybody talks by Neon Trees 

Bubblegum bitch by Marina and the Diamonds

Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me by Tata Young

I’m Not Gay by J Pee (gag song for a different reason)

Everyone is gay by Great Big World

Hello I love you by Adore Delano 

Ur so gay by Katy Perry 

Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

Ke$ha

Love the way you lie by Eminem featuring Rihanna

Avril Lavigne 

Twenty One Pilots

Little Game by Benny

Squidward’s Nose by Cupcakke 

I’m yer dad by GRLwood

M.I.L.F. MONEY by Fergie

Thot shit by Megan thee Stallion

No by Meghan Trainor

Cinderella’s Dead by EMELINE 

F*ck it All by TX2

Brozone songs

[jonathanbiers]

Argyle never gets frustrated with Steve when he doesn’t understand something. He doesn’t roll his eyes, or give That Sigh. He explains things patiently, if a bit abstractly, and when Steve is way off base Argyle runs with it. Is Vecna a vampire? Whoa that would be wild, man! Do you think he can’t have garlic? We could just take him out with a gnarly garlic pie, my dude!

the way you're seeing into my mind.... argyle being really soft with steve and taking the time to make sure he doesn't feel stupid when he's confused is something i've considered AT LENGTH (specifically in dms with @himbohohoharringtxn who has the unfortunate luck of being on the receiving end of Most of my argyle thoughts fdjghkdfj)

i would like to preface this by saying that i am firmly in "argyle and steve are both genuinely smart" territory. i think steve is very neurodivergent coded (i see the arguments for adhd/autism/dyslexia/ocd and as someone who might be autistic but is diagnosed with the other three....i see these arguments and i agree on all fronts) and there's also the head trauma of it all, though that's not what this is about. he's not fucking dumb, he just needs things broken down and explained to him in a very specific way. nothing wrong with that!

as far as argyle is concerned - we've literally seen him in action noticing small details no one else has(one of my fav parallels between them), which ends up being the reason the cali group finds nina and el. he's not fucking dumb either, just delivered to us as a comic relief stoner character with little dimension because the duffers need to be fucking stopped

BUT ANYWAY! you're so right! argyle would see the way steve sometimes gets brushed off and spoken over. the rest don't mean it to be hurtful and steve tries not to show that it does sometimes sting (because it's really not that big of a deal to him and it's not like they're being outright mean) but he would ABSOLUTELY "yes and-" whatever steve's off the wall question or idea was, if anything just to make him laugh, relieve some of the tension. AND IT WORKS is the thing.

it's not just, "duuuude, what if we just lure vecna into the sun? he'll be TOAST in five seconds flat, no fighting necessary. nancy, you can put the gun down, we're gonna hurl garlic cloves at him with a slingshot!" in one fell swoop, argyle is 1. making sure steve feels heard and not spoken over; 2. acknowledging steve's input and effort in a way that, let's be honest, the others don't do very often; 3. putting a smile on the group's faces for a while because fuck they're kids in a stressful situation and need a laugh; 4. putting himself in the line of fire so the others can rag on him instead.

argyle would do this when they aren't even dating yet and steve definitely would not be normal about it, he'd be smiling so big and soft and then argyle would catch his eye and smile back and they'd have this little quiet moment between them amidst all the chaos and dread.

after they're dating though? oh, they'd be INSUFFERABLE. they'd be such a pda couple, with the ridiculous pet names("what the fuck did you just call me?" "don't worry about it, my lil sweet potato pie."), and the open flirting until their friends are fake-retching, the whole nine yards. argyle is hanging off of steve's back with his arms around his waist and not even acknowledging it as he makes his argument to the rest of the group that, "no, no, listen. steve is onto something here, i just know. what if-"

and when they're alone, it'd be less of the theatrics and silliness and more of the gentle patience. they're both smart in really different ways and when argyle gets something steve doesn't and steve is getting a little frustrated about it, he'd take his hand or pull him close and just distract him with a little bit of affection to get him to cool down because he knows being frustrated isn't going to help steve figure out whatever it is. conversely, steve does the same when he's trying to explain something to argyle - though he's less likely to get as frustrated when confused, and more likely to pretend to take longer to get it than he actually does because listening to steve explain a subject he's knowledgeable about is fucking hot, can you blame him? they're just soft with each other, okay

[heckinhacker]

hi so i was wondering if u could do one like “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.” but with kyle, like they are the same and everything, idk if u have already done it

Kyle Broflovski x Reader - South Park might be saved, after all??

Which means we get the version where Kyle meets someone similiar to himself! It's like a 'sequel', (but not really, more like an alternative version with same trope) to “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.”

Remember that when I write for South Park, they're teenagers at less(16 y/o minimum), adults at most! it's silly i write it every south park post but better safe than sorry~

I gave Kyle green color for easier reading experience in dialogues!

note: color code might be broken because lately tumblr on pc is being silly goofy

Kyle had a great grasp of how fucked up situations in south park are having occurances

Aaand he's pretty aware there will be noone else who understands him.

Or so he thought.

There is a new student announced to be in his class while you all were in 4th grade or so?

And you seemed not too quiet, nor too shy, but surely smart enough not to push yourself into any weird situations.

Teacher sat you both together and Kyle tries to talk you up-

"Hey! I'm Kyle, it's refreshing to have a new face around. Want to play with us on long break?"

It's nice to have a new group to play with, so you agree.

Ah, kids and their not complicated feelings, right? <3

You tag along, and you grew really quickly to dislike Cartman-

It's not hard to hate him he's UNBEARABLE,

Kyle wants to let out his signature "Shut up, fatass!"

but you beat him to it-

"Shut up, fatso, mama did not taught you to behave, or was she absent in your life like yo papa?"

You had NO idea he's fatherless and it made other guys go "OOOHHHH--"

you made yourself an enemy in Cartman,

but an ally in Kyle.

You seemed to have similiar nerdy interests,

From playing Stick of Truth and heroes,

to DnD (that he played online, because not with his group-- but he invited you into his new online session!!)

Beside Terrance and Philip, Kyle also liked that vampire/werewolf series called "Under Devil's grasp" that seemed mostly for girls or boring, yet he liked it in secret and once he caught you watching first episodes, just...because,

and then joined you, for his own re-watch and your first watch, he liked seeing how you reacted

"HOW COULD YOU?" you asked out of sudden once, in a call,

"How could I what?" Kyle asks, having you on speaker while he does his homework.

" YOU KNEW ALL THE TIME THAT BARRY WILL BE KILLED AND YOU DID NOTHING TO WARN ME, I GREW TO LOVE HIM AND NOW HE'S GONE."

"Well, you said no spoilers?"

"KYLE."

He giggles, "Plus he had death flags since always so-"

He's playing, it turns out Barry barely lived and hid for like season and a half to return in dramatical moment that he watched with you and you SCREAMED.

And he has a blast with your reactions <3

And so on, you bond over similiarities,

Over years you put many blood, sweat and tears into your friendship, and you're glued by hip. Kyle won't ever pick between you and Stan who is his closer friend, it would be even cruel to ask.

You two got along decently, good, not badly, but it always seemed you're more closer with Kyle than Stan.

You grew beside each other and your families became one, big family because of how close you've gotten between each other and made them grow closer. (Or not if your relation with them is bad)

No matter your family (or your own) relligion, you spend Hanukkah with Kyle and it's almost a norm of you being around.

Listen, Ike? Absolutely adores you. Kyle sometimes has a laugh your'e more of an older sibling than he is.

(Absolute bull, we all know Ike loves Kyle the most <3)

Kyle's family wanted to make little ride to nearest amusement park

Of course they suggested you go too! You're a part of the family already <3

You have the fun of your lives, all of you. Kyle's parents mostly chill around but you, Kyle and Ike are using all the activities possible while you can, stuffing yourselves with snacks and sweets.

Bad idea, if you'd ask me

You went to roller coaster and none of you paid no mind in that choice,

but Kyle's stomach DID pay a mind

Especially in a middle where he felt like throwing out

And hell, he did! But he took out his hat and puked int oit so noone got blessed with mix of dinner and snacks.

He was almost carried out of the roller coaster by you--

You decided to go to ferris wheel and call it after a day.

They were two-people cabin on the wheel, so Ike let you two have one while he went with some other random kid.

Ike is your biggest wingman, he did that on purpose of course. Little guy <3

When you're up high, alone, with Kyle, having option to look at all the view, you can't help but to look at little buildings under you, and then to take a peak at Kyle.

Oh boy, were you surprised when you met his gaze-

He blushed furiously and muttered "Sorry- Uh- did not mean to stare."

Of course - you did not mind, but that was SURPRISING.

You did not bother him about it though. Whatever he had in mind - nothing, or something, he will come around.

But you might've realised that you DO have feelings towards your childhood best friend. For sure.

You remember how I mentioned your shared liked series with Kyle, "Under Devil's grasp" ? Soo...

Imagine it was near end, and studio decided to make finale into movie, two and half hour long one.

It's a series you two follow since you were kids, OF COURSE you have to be there in the cinema.

You ride with Kyle to big city, with his freshly acquired driver license and shitty car of his.

You enjoy your WHOLE drive there, time spent in bigger city, it all was just amazing.

Series, even though it was mostly about vampires and werewolves, was called "Under Devil's grasp" and it's very questionable, for years there were just theories, yet the movie after all those years of content literally ended with said title as last words.

Y'all were crying already enough but it was such a HIT in the face

When you walked out of cinema you whipped your tears out of your eyes, so did Kyle, as you giggled and gushed about the ending of your beloved series.

Ride home was mixed, going from peaceful to chaotic, just atosphere was...magical. Lights of highway, music blasting loudly and Kyle jamming to it, while you take a glance with full adoration at him.

You sing a little, then you rest and sooner than later end up in South Park.

Kyle drives to your house first to drop you off, walks out of car to walk you to your door, and gazes at you.

"Thank you...for today. I had fun! I hope you did too."

"I did, you kidding me? Thanks for even offering. I...really appreciate it."

Kyle seems to hesitate, and then sighs deeply.

"...I love you."

" Yeah, good night to you too man- oh wait what the fuck-??"

"I...wanted to say so, and today's spent time with you made me realise I'd hate you to spend the day out of South Park with someone else. I'd hate for you to have late-night drives with somebody else, I'd hate to see you happy with somebody else because...well, I wish you stayed with me. Of course I mean- have fun with others, I just...I wish you'd keep your heart on my hands. It's fine if you'd prefer to stay friends, I hope it doesn't break our friendship. But I uh...I wanted to let you know."

...that was...a lot. Wow."

He thinks it's a rejection, but...

It's not, really

You grab his cheeks and kiss him before he can get into tangent of self-doubt.

Then smile at him,

and say:

"Information saved. Let's grab something to eat tommorow together too, alright, boyfriend?"

You smile and wave him away goodnight and closed your door.

...

"...boyfriend?"

He's so giddy pls <3

Other's reactions:

Ike:

FUCKING FINALLY 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALO.

My little dude was waiting for the moment you hold hands and kiss each other already for TOO LONG

I mean, don't kiss too much in front of him he'd gag, it's still his older brother we're talking about

but at least Kyle pinning over you days are OVER.

He congratulates you and gives you gift cards of "congratulations on marriage!" drew with crayons and pencils

My man Ike is an anime fan, he made you badass gift card <3

Stan:

Not surprised but surprised at the same time.

He's second biggest fan, first being Ike

He learned the news from Kyle himself the same night you became a thing, later Ike hit him up because he was excited BSHSH

He hears Kyle out and congratulates him A LOT

Kenny:

He kind off knew? everyone kind off knew but he was sure you were already dating so...

news were shocking because

"Weren't you dating already? damn-"

he was sure you're married and expecting a kid/j

he doesn't have strong reaction because, as I said, it's not much of a news for him not going to lie

Cartman:

He always tried taking away whatever Kyle loved the most

So he's salty he failed this time

He always makes you both miserable, with slightest show of affection he is making big clown show out of it

Enough that just guys ask you to STOP with PDA because Cartman is being fucking annoying

He's just that salty single friend man for sure <3

Lemme be honest, it's not one of my best works, but I have (I am in a middle of...) 9 days streak of work straight, I am exhausted beyond human belief, but maybe because my ability to hold my ground is shitty, thanks depreshon--

So yes, It's not my best piece, but it was pretty much expected, so :>

I wanted to tag @bath1lda because of "kyle kyle" spam ask hehe- I hope you, and everyone else who read it, a nice "have a good read" :>

[wobbledogz]

haya pal!

i noticed that you like to post wobbledogs stuff to so, if its ok with you, imma dump some codes.

TINY- smaller than a pebble, polite as an angel, but eats like Beelzabub, 3-dot eyes

FEE23:CCEEbb95a8605Yd0ADCF1:c2a761Bc^1121a0C17PTb^F500FaN5F2U0Bb006b0:8FBF;3C302021BF2274DchC:c6^:D:ac10:c5c3b2=:B06a30B:;B401=:2F6t1a::C9:^<28A6::cF2Ab1;2c:7:a201F3aBld6PF:E^18^1F6013682A37E9c^2DC^0FEBFF227323929:382EBP.0E-140D6;^^I2.E0DY2Bc072DA0382aaC8aF6CFdE9k;:ACct01DFC1048f7:5C2DCACb8B1E319^0004CF8

<<VAMPIRE>>- WINGS! TINY! ALWAYS ONE SMALL INCONVINANCE AWAY FROM A BREAK DOWN!

77Ffc18:^FFUfCF^cBmaEC=04o4Fd5cB2^5aF16B1F00^120b3:8FEE0a6YE^6cD61F0E6FF7D8M8^1^611a05b:833c:37:0F=c:^010:7C31:b4F:2:8c;200c:ba:h1a8CaC:h23Fa0;<8::acF0330101<8<A8^21PF10AC9C1:F^341E17E371F7e1PD707CCFD60RF8aCCD:114^1P0808..0:7E96t<b8901c07VAmAA0I060E1A00FbB0B80f4Cc2D0BBE083B30D0D<2bcc0Dc:0:111B07BcP61

<[ Jersey Devil ]>- wings, 10 heads, 6 legs, MASIVE tail, long. F7389E5FcB249A104=9=0;^D;::111EB01;0a71F05549B3214a280E34C4F0REFbCB68LB9ADFC0911=8C86B80 008^72<b1505<Bac51<;248E6;3Dc;^a=ca4;8c:DB;C3a57=208a52D=;6A4b67:E9=7PB4Dh1C74AY4k:303E2Fa8;3172DECB431Jb937YEPF:1AcPU6^00^92^1cC44;^^.baDS21I9E0D9182E1Eh2DDVEc5Da2FCF6d34894DbCB6A85A03=^D5;a5D^86F0F30C01A^CFFFAg

-----------and now the best for last---------

-------<GODS MISSTAKE>--------

wings, 6 legs, and wide. if you want to see a creature live in ceaseless agony, have a seizure and cry; this is the dog for you.

7A39D0123560A6a27A7.76c7050^lD4801101a4CBE5A1 7cB7C38FA911AE6FB0i9ED:4FDcb^;6h8742841780AACB7d1F20Fe0DaFb081B:475:CfDFC0B3B99fA8aA899309DbB1B9;DBF4114491:BB081491Ab^107F905:a848FFBD1AaFF6380Da09309jBD2c6ttDj3:40903EF40A<a00E8BF9AFCFC0FA708:702E11d:AC4041cFb96F1F4bB34cA642EB240C::bF1FDaC4^102803f:2F438f4=818:B94DF7Ea8FAC=99F0F4BB3dg:57FCFD3F1B3C03B<4E9C:FF1F15;=00FCC4B31^93F^1CCF09F4C012Pk2aFF4F4PD9FY7FU5bP:;2;3^431.0^83F113380=m980F^41970e;Fl96Ba660=9814C8eD34A72bcCA1E91449^a;bF^5f2t5763c012C9

SOME OF YOUR DOGS??? FOR ME TO PLAY WITH?? I'D LOVE TO!

First one! Since you referred to the little one as Beelzebub, I named him Beez <3

SO SMALL. immediately began barking up a storm when i brought him into the fun zone (my pen)

adore him. take care of him. forfeit all earthly possessions to him. <3

VAMPIRE!!! the game-given name was stephen and i felt it fit so i kept it.

WE HAVE LIFTOFF. flaps their wings a lot, so fucking adorable. i think i just get cute aggression from the SMAL ones but god they're just so cherishable, you're an amazing little guy creator!

JERSEY DEVIL JERSEY DEVIL JERSEY DEVIL

felt like i dropped them in and their first thought was

what is this? a playpen for ants??

also trained it to bark a lot. because the sound is as horrifying as ever. will probably cry when it howls for the first time.

plays v nice with the others, wish i could pet. still, love it. also, big fan of large tails so the fact it's as long as its actual body made me stupid happy.

and finally....large man.....

OH CHRIST WHERE DID THE LITTLE ONES GO

he can barely shake his head when he's playing with toys. still, looks proudly at me whenever he does it. i will love him, seizures and all.

thank you again for sending these!! i love your guys sm!!!

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

why did I play wayhaven chronicles book 3

A list of grievances and observations as I played this heck of a game

Spoilers for all of it because I don't care and you shouldn't either

How is the writing getting worse. HOW IS THE WRITING GETTING WORSE. DON'T YOU HAVE EDITORS? BETA TESTERS? AUGH.

there's so much stage direction it's unbearable. people smile, smirk, chuckle, roll their eyes, shrug, scoff, groan, all of it, always, often for no reason, often to just fill word count, often so unnaturally it reads like they're all robots.

descriptions and dialogue are repetitive as fuck, and the prose quality is so poor. i feel like you could write a better game faster if you just had a better editor. or AN editor, really.

It really is a game that bit off more than it could chew so it didn't chew anything at all and just spit this back out.

I encountered like 3 major bugs in my first playthrough that would've broken the plot/game, if any choice actually mattered and the vampires didn't just swoop in to save my ass no matter what I did, so I guess no harm done ????

MAKE A SMALLER GAME THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY BOTHER TO PLOT OUT AND CODE

You can't keep bragging about how much you loooove adding variation when seemingly no or very few options actually impact anything

No seriously, the amount of times player agency is discarded just because nothing is allowed to matter is staggering (why couldn't the detective confess their love for Mason? well because it would change the dynamic uwu!)

Speaking of Mason, look how they slaughtered my boy!

I refuse to believe M is this fucking stupid, they clearly know enough about romance to realize that some other people might want more than they can offer (in fact they say this exact thing if you reject sex in book 2) so like ?? why wouldn't they be able to recognize or even entertain that that's what's going on? sorry i get not realizing initially but the longer it goes on the more annoying and less realistic it becomes

But that's a non-issue right? Because the romance develops in this book? Sure, it does, and that's one of the few good things about it, that there's visible romantic development with M at least, but it also just completely doesn't care how you approach the romance at all. If you try to approach M's romance as a slow burn, it's not taken into account. Because the game doesn't seem to track which kiss is actually your first, ANY of them could be, so they're all written as equally important, meaning none is allowed to be more important than the others

Same goes for the sex scenes. You're waiting until the best in-character moment to fuck M? Well fuck you. it'll be the same as any other. This was the first time? cool cool, the game doesn't care. headcanon your own emotional weight of the moment, asshole. first time my detective had sex with Mason was written with pretty much the same weight as any previous ones I read, and we didn't even get a morning-after scene when Mason ditches their ass. I'm sure your slow-burn, slow-to-trust, emotionally motivated detective is tottally chill with their lover leaving in the morning after they finally brought their guard down and let Mason in, right? no? well fuck you. it's a week later now and they have no comment to make.

"oh but it's sooo hard to code alll of these variations! you can't expect the writer to take your headcanons into account!" they're not headcanons. i can reject Mason's advances at every step of the way, but the game doesn't care about this beyond the next page where the rejection actually occurs. anything else plays out like it does regardless of whether it's your first time doing anything or not.

Here's a simple, cure-all solution to writing choices that are too complicated for you to handle: don't! just don't put them in if you don't honor them! DON'T FUCKING PUT THEM IN IF YOU DON'T HONOR THEM.

Speaking of fuck you, if you're playing as a nonbinary detective and you have sex with M? congrats on having ghost genitals. your "detailed" intimate scenes are so vague and noncommittal that it's difficult to tell who's doing what with what body part. it's all so vague and bland that there's really no point in picking the option at all. Pro tip, cissies: nonbinary people have genitals, too. I know! Wild, right?

What's funnier, you always get to pick if you "initiate" or not (I assume this is code for topping). But if you're NB, regardless of what you pick, you don't really find out what your character is doing, even though Mishka gave herself a perfect out to write player-based variation. Everyone's got holes, man. It's not that hard.

Basically the game insists you have sex with M ASAP because there's no material reason not to, but if you dare to be nonbinary and fuck M, good luck on figuring out that sex scene, bitch!

Rebecca is still getting so many excuses and second chances that it's getting genuinely triggering to read at times. Your character keeps having to confront her about their relationship and it's like it wants you to forgive her because it's #feelgood. Plus, if you decide not to work with her at one point, you get a shorter climax where you're a cringefail idiot who can't do anything right. If you work with her, everything works without a hitch and you get to waltz out being all cool and badass. huh? huh ? huh ???? i hope this is just something me and my pals who played this are missing and maybe there's more variation??? but man oh man the Rebecca stanning going on in the narrative is so uncomfortable :')

We really peaked with Falk. This new villain is barely a presence and doesn't even get named until like halfway into the story. We meet him once and then he's defeated.

Sin, who got a lot of hype and buildup ... is not of any consequence. He just leaves.

You don't even find out what his deal is if you go the combat training route. Oh you thought this was vital info that would be delivered to you regardless of your personal character choices? fuck you.

Addie, the face of the victims of these gruesome kidnappings? comes back at the end as a non-speaking character you never even talk to personally.

The whole entire kidnapping+human/supernatual trafficking thing is just so ... bad. It's all so poorly constructed and not thought-out at all. Why would you go here with your silly vampire detective romance? Who thought this was the place to do that?

The detective's emotional breakdown is triggered by a random nameless victim who never comes back into the story again

The detective's emotional breakdown involves them being naked in a shower with their LI. This is (in M's case, at least) never brought up again and barely has any impact on the romance (because you can avoid it, so it can't matter too much<3)

The blood drive that was set up as being a potential major issue and would maybe tie back into the alleged "main plot"? Easily avoided, explicitly in-universe boring, and literally of no consequence

After all this, after three books of being dumb as shit for no reason other than idk cringefail cheap angst? Mason confesses his love for the detective via a NEVER-HAVE-I-EVER DRINKING GAME.

NO REALLY. I'M FUCKING SERIOUS DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME I AM 100% TELLING YOU THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW

This is, of course, not touched upon at all and the detective (who, at this point, is pretty much aware they're in love with M) barely reacts at all

THE FAMOUSLY EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE HORNY SLUT CHARACTER, WHOSE REALIZATION SHOULD ALLOW FOR SO MUCH ANGST AND JOY IN ANY GOOD ROMANCE, CONFESSES THEIR LOVE VIA DRINKING GAME

honestly it wouldn't be so bad if it were acknowledged or discussed afterward or if it had any fucking effect on anything ever but it's barely even played as a joke so we can't have that! Why????

Because the book is over. if you're an M-mancer the book ends with a drinking game indirect love confession and you don't get to react to it at all

But here's a cheap stinger about the detective's relative who's totally evil and will totally be a main antagonist eventually!

did you have fun??? no?? well fuck you.

[flameohotpotatooo]

For those who play DnD and Baldur's Gate 3

If you could give companions (and npcs) different classes/subclasses from other sources, what would you give them?

Read bellow

Lae'zel: Battle Master fighter fits her fine but I'd multiclass her with Drakewarden Ranger. Favored enemy? Also a magical dragon pet?

Karlach: Barbarian also fits her, but Juggernaut? Hello? Best for a Barbarian on front lines of a war on higher levels

Shadowheart: First of all, I wouldn't keep her as a cleric, but a paladin. She doesn't have the wise energy that comes with cleric. She's a devotion paladin. BUT if I want to pick a cleric subclass for her, twilight is a cool thing. Not dark as Shar and not light as Selune. She's the middle line. The only trickery cleric I can get behind to work is Jester by Laura Bailey.

Jaheira: Druid is cool, ranger is better (for her) I see her as a resourceful and more dynamic flexible like a ranger is both in utility of a fight and nature. Either Beast master or Primeval Guardian.

Halsin: He's fine where he is. Moon druid is good for him. I thought of giving him Blood hunter order of lycan and have him turn into a were-bear but I think blood hunters are a bit too harsh and aggressive for him.

Gale: Evocation wizard is cool, but for Gale I go for Chronurgy (thanks critical role) Gale wants to fight his goddess one way or another, give him the power to manipulate time. It's something that out of books and he'll fullfil the prodigy type.

Astarion: I thought Blood hunter? But he's not a fit for subclasses. Have a vampire dealing radiant damage is a funny image tho, ngl. But keeping him a rogue, and make him swashbuckler. They're charisma build rogues and he's a charismatic asshole.

Wyll: he's a warlock, his story is a warlock, so fiend pact of blade he stays for me... But! Hear me out. Palock. Paladin warlock. Paladin of redemption. Unless you have him kill karlach then he's Paladin of conquest.

Minsc: ... Gee fuck! He's a challenge for me bc I love rangers and he has the sweet baby barbarian vibe for some reason but he's not a barbarian either. I keep him as he is bc he confuses me.

Dame Aylin: mommy is paladin coded, she's best for Paladin of glory. Or ancient. Have it your way.

Isobel: Cleric of light, sure... Multiclass her with druid of stars

Ketheric Thorm: Paladin of either devotion (bc obv devoted to Myrkul for his debt) or conquest bc of the fear and intimidation he rules with.

Enver Gortash: Yes yes I'm gonna say it... Artificer. Either Mechanism or armorer, but I go far to say he can be a bard too. Bards harness the power of their words, they are jack of all traits, and can have expertise in many tools. It's not a written rule to have all bards as musicians. Lawyers can be bards, artists can be bards.

Orin the red: She's tough for me tbh. To pull tricking and passing as someone else you need high charisma. She doesn't have sorcerer or bard vibe, not rogue or warlock either. Blood hunter (heh) profane soul needs pact with higher entity (Bhaal) and I think this class can suit her. I'm open to criticism on this take.

Durge: I won't choose sorcerer for them. I find gloom stalker Ranger better fit for a serial killer. But sorcery, sure... Evil devine soul and when redeemed durge (spoilers) dies and Withers brings them back, it's up for debate to loose the sorcery or be other subtypes.

Share your takes.

[thedeafprophet]

Top 5 monsters

Top 5 monsters????? 😳 on it boss o7

Sorry okay had to make the joke lmao

5. Werewolves

good ol fluffy beasts. I'm only really interested in the monster part, not really the human form. But oh the joys of a feral, large teeth having Werewolves.... good stuff.

4. Vampires

a classic, a certain j'nai sais quoi about them. The eroticism of blood sucking. The queer coding lens. Mwah. Blood sexy

3. Dragons.

Do I. Do I need to expand on this one. It's DRAGONS. Big flying beasts who hoard and breath fire!!!!! Cool ass shit. 10/10.

2. Faeries.

Okay okay hear me out on this one - in terms of how fucked up some myths are, I think faeries can classify as monsters. I think you can do SO MUCH cool stuff with them, from their varying designs and powers, to the whole court stuff, to the whole 'fundamentally operating on different morals then humans so', unwitting deals - they're just great.

1. Unknowable cosmic Entity

That shit just goes hard. Something so beyond understanding, distant and unknowable. So much More than you could ever be...... what would it mean, to acknowledge such a creature....what would it mean to *be* acknowledged...

[juanabaloo]

20 questions for fic writers!!

thanks to @coraniaid for the tag!

(1) How many works do you have on AO3?

21 works on AO3, all fics (+ 1 work about HTML code tips)

(2) What's your total AO3 word count?

195,661 word count (for those 21 works, not counting the HTML work)

(3) What fandoms do you write for?

I exclusively write for Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

(4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

All but the last one are part of my all human / no powers AU series where Faith and Buffy meet post grad school, but these fics are in their "established relationship" era.

My top 5 fics by kudos:

I don't care about the presents: E-rated long multi-chapter about Christmas in Sunnydale where Buffy brings her girlfriend Faith home to meet her Mom. There's a lot of feelings and processing and also lots of E-rated fun. (A little in ch. 5 and then a ton in ch. 8 and 10)

Game of Tag: E-rated well established Fuffy, with 4 short chapters.

Cool Granite Countertop: E-rated short one-shot.

I can see you with my T-shirt on: a WIP! E-rated Fuffy on a vacation trip. This is my current posted WIP. 2 of 4 chapters are posted, but does NOT end on a cliffhanger. I do plan to finish this.

Praise Her Blindingly Scrumptious Luminescence: (the only one of the 5 not part of the AU series) Canon divergent T-rated long slow burn one-shot. Faith awakens from her coma in Season 5 and ends up helping Buffy fight Glory. Nothing bad happens to Joyce. Featuring The Mayor (who survived S3) and several Bring It On characters.

(5) Do you respond to comments?

Yes I respond to comments although sometimes slower than I would like. I ADORE comments, they give me life.

(6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The ending is hopeful but my angstiest fic (so far) is facing sorrow with Faith. Please do mind the tags. It is E-rated, but not really smut. (There's a little but it's VERY brief.) It's about Faith dealing with some of her past trauma, it means a lot to me.

(7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Almost everything else I write has a very happy ending, whether they are blissed out post bedroom fun (E rated), or smiley happy sugary good (G and T rated). There's some angst in I don't care about the presents but I consider it mild, and it has a happy ending.

(8) Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! Probably means I need to be writing less boring stuff, haha. Or just more unconventional stuff. But also fuck the haters.

(9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. I mostly write E-rated F/F smut but I've dabbled in F/F/M and F/M. (Only one fic with the dabbling is posted, but I'm working on more, including a sequel / fill-in.) Also typically what I write is older-than-canon Fuffy. (gif inspo one and inspo two) I try to write PWP but often feelings get involved. For example, if a scene includes a smutty milestone, then sometimes that MEANS something, and feelings intrude.

(10) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I rarely write crossovers. Praise Her... (from 4 above) includes several Bring It On characters, but they are in Sunnydale in the Buffyverse. (So that's not tagged a crossover.) I did write a T-rated Seinfeld crossover (My summer vacation in NYC) where pre-teen Faith visits her aunt Elaine, so it's Faith in NYC in the Seinfeld universe. (Although she only interacts with Elaine, not the other characters.)

Neither of those are especially "crazy." I have a rough idea for a weird crossover fic... imagine Bring It On but with elements of Fight Club. Which means: Cliff and Missy are actually both just Missy. Torrance imagines Cliff sometimes, because she's very deeply repressing her attraction to Missy. (Except since I prefer Fuffy over Missy x Torrance I would probably soften Buffy into Torrance, or sharpen Torrance into Buffy.) So Fuffy but no powers AU and they're in the Bring It On world and Faith is both Cliff and Missy.

(I don't think we ever see anyone but Torrance acknowledge both Cliff and Missy as 2 separate people, which is what sparked this idea. Like usually when Cliff and Missy are in the same shot they are alone with each other or talking to Torrance.)

BUT I don't have any idea when this will get written. So if any readers want to take this idea and run with it, feel free! (Maintaining the manic hyper cheerleader campy vibe of Bring It On feels like the trickiest part of this, for version in my head.)

(11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

(12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope but I have a blanket permission statement in my AO3 profile that includes translations.

(13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think it could be fun.

(14) What's your all time favorite ship?

Buffy x Faith aka Fuffy.

(15) What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I plan to finish all my WIPs. There is only one posted WIP too, so I technically only have one to finish, that y'all know of! (*evil laugh*) I might decide to cut some short, so instead of writing a multi years long version, better to just chop it into one season. Praise Her... was originally way longer in the outline, but I'm glad I shortened it.

(16) What are your writing strengths?

Writing fics in a series out of order, which I'm treating as a strength. Working in canon dialogue but in a remixed way. (I have a no powers/no vamps AU drafted fic that works in something very close to the famous "tell me staking a vamp doesn't get you a little bit juiced" line. Cracks me up every time.)

(17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Lots of things I want to get better at! Titles for sure. Getting better at discarding ideas I am in love with. Also, I dislike having to describe what people look like. I will gladly use a famous character from another fandom (any fandom) just to avoid having to describe them. In several fics I pair up Tara with Letty Ortiz from the Fast and Furious franchise. Although I think I just call her Letty and don't describe her, so it was all in my head oops.

(18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I can probably swing it in Spanish, for short exchanges. I can definitely do it for a "Fuffy in a situation where they need to speak Spanish but it's sort of broken" scenario. (In my head - Faith speaks it OK, she's not fluent but she understands it and people can understand her. Buffy really struggles with it though.)

(19) First fandom you wrote for?

Same, Buffy the Vampire Slayer! I think I wrote maybe half a story in middle school with my friends, some mean RPF, and then I put fanfic writing in a box and forgot about it. Trying to make up for lost time now I guess.

(20) Favorite fic you've written?

It really depends on my mood. (ahem) I'm proud of my fics but don't want to get into smut talk here. For non smut I'll say a tie between Praise Her... and facing sorrow with Faith. (Again mind the tags on the latter.)

Thanks again for the ask!

No pressure tagging:

@beatriceeverytuesday-old @hersterical @thenewbuzwuzz @rahirah @fictiongods

@blazinwolve @andremichaux @charmedslayer @doggirlbuffysummers @chasingfictions

@veronyxk84 @fancyflautist @explosionshark @shittinggold @whatisyourchildhoodtrauma

(apologies if you don't write fic or someone else already tagged you)

anybody else, feel free to tag yourself in too!

[nalyra-dreaming]

I start to think it's not really a loumand season with the amount of times Lestat is mentioned so far. It's more like loumand and Lestat in between. I won't be surprised if he is there every conversation and every intimacy. That idea about a threesome, not really a threesome seems very real to me. They are both fucking obsessed with the same person, and it seems that he is looming over their whole relationship more than it was in the books. Maybe I'm a delulu and think into it too much, but we got that mention in the 2/2 vids they dropped, when I expected none, and the whole Dubai situation was stale as it is but now it feels like yearning from Rashmand too for some reason.

Well, I mean, it's clever to leave Lestat out of the teasers and published content for now, because if you do not know the books the upcoming twists will take you by surprise, no matter how they spin them. And there are a lot of new viewers, and also those who do not plan on reading the books (which is fine).

I think it IS Loumand season next season... but probably not 100% the way (some) fans expect it to be? Like, as you said, they are both obsessed with the same person, and it is Louis' luck Armand falls for him... but Loumand is far from wholesome in Paris, and the "Gaslight" posters at the SDCC clearly referenced that as well.

And we know that they are including parts of "before". Of the theater's origins. Of Lesmand's origins.

Oh and yes, of course, ending both teaser and scene with "Lestat" is a choice as well, and it brings us back to what the writers have said:

O’Byrne promises that Louis’ first love, Lestat, will also figure prominently next season, even though “he has been knocked down a peg.”

Prominently. I mean, we also have to get to season 3 and The Vampire Lestat somehow... :)

So far, nothing I have seen or heard of the next season makes me believe that they'll change the actual emotional points - if we actually get to see the "surgery" (for example)? I'm not sure, we were also sure we would get Swamp!stat. Maybe they're only playing with our expectations here, but that's ... a detail, in the grand scheme of things. They'll put their own spin on things, and I honestly cannot wait to see it.

Dubai depends a LOT on where we "are" in the books. There are several possibilities, and the Loumand there also depends heavily on the actual state of things. But, I have said it before, Dubai is also heavily Devil's Minion coded. Daniel cannot be dismissed in all of this, nor can the other vampires (hinted at or shown) be ignored.

Sooooo..... Personally I do not think you're "delulu". Especially given the upcoming seasons and what Jacob said recently... it just wouldn't make sense imho:)