#they're really good bitter exes ok

[prismatoxic]

YOU UNDERSTAND. billford is like dirkjake to me. it definitely canonically happened but they were so bad for each other and blew up tragically and i like seeing them as divorced far more than i liked seeing the yearning and pining and stuff. you GET IT. have a wonderful day

also mood i still like billdip lol

we r shaking hands anon 🤝

actual romantic billford seems great and i have absolutely nothing against it but personally i'm gonna keep writing bill hooking up with dipper and infuriating ford in the process. sorry. i didn't write 100k words of pretty much exactly that just to stop now

[faarkas]

2079- vs 2075-2077 x

[tev-the-random]

So I may have come up with a whole Villain Jimmy AU...

Listen. I have way too many feelings about the events of Jimmy's Empires S2 Episode 31 and the immediate following stream. I also have way, way too many feelings about whatever the hell is happening in Sausage's and Shubble's lore and whatever is to come in Lizzie's, so I decided to only indulge one brainrot at a time and came up with... an interesting concept? I dunno, I'm easily entertained—

(There's a TLDR at the end if you don't want to read my insane and incessant ramblings o3o)

Ok so, after Walmart WRA kills Jimmy on the bridge for the kicks and giggles, Jimmy really starts questioning just what respect is and who his friends actually are. The conclusion? Dude has absolutely zero friends. Sure, he has this truce going on with Joel, and Katherine has been somewhat trustworthy so far. But actual friends? Nada. Closest thing he had were Scar and Tango, but they're gone now and he didn't even get a proper goodbye. His town is empty. He's alone.

Jimmy may be quick to anger, but this might be the first time he actually allows himself to be sad about it. There's something much more painful than rage crawling inside of him; be it guilt, self-hatred, loneliness, betrayal, there's just so much he's been burying under all the fighting that he can barely breathe through it all now. But once it's over, Jimmy's left with a strange feeling of clarity. This cold bitterness and complicated self-awareness that would turn into something far more sinister in the future.

The next day is really what decides his next course of action, though. He's touring the Old Sheriff around the server, kind of holding onto the last hope that someone might want him to stay after all. But then Fwhip comes along and decides that no, he doesn't get to have this, so they start bickering like the old divorced couple they are, like nothing's changed. Somehow, Fwhip manages to charm his way into the Old Sheriff's good books despite everything that Jimmy has said about his ex-deputy.

Martyn (that's what I'm calling him, he doesn't get his own name now) laughs at his jokes, makes little comments that... sound so familiar to Jimmy. This is how it all started: little comments — and this is how it's going to end. Maybe the Old Sheriff has good intentions. Maybe he does have the intention to stick with Jimmy and be a friend/mentor to him. But Jimmy, still raw from his most recent disillusionment, can't bear the thought of befriending someone only to have the rug pulled from under him again.

So Jimmy leaves Tumble Town in the dead of night.

Now, his first objective is to bring himself back to normal. He had to admit, no matter how hard he tried, it was hard to gather any respect from others when he was trapped in the body of a literal toy. He had already asked Joel to reverse this nonsense, but the god only offhandedly mentioned that this was Jimmy's true form and that it was how he was meant to look — which Jimmy took as "I have no idea how to, my name is Joel and I'm irresponsible with my powers and incompetent and also really short". So his next destination is the Witch Academy.

He had heard about the them from Shelby. She was a nice witch — or, well, nice enough. She was clearly going through some stuff at the moment, which is why he thought it would be better not to ask her for help to begin with — and was clearly able to change people's bodies, whether intentionally or not. So surely the people who taught her magic would be able to help him, right?

Little did Jimmy know that most witches do not, in fact, give a damn about helping other people. After travelling far and wide, he explained his curse to them, and all they did was close the door on his face.

Well, he's not having it! If the witches won't help him, he'll find someone else who will! This is when Jimmy starts travelling around in search of someone, anyone who could undo his curse so he may start his life anew. Through all the ensuing shenanigans, he gathers some... interesting allies.

It's not that he wants to ally himself with undead pirates; he may not be a sheriff anymore, but that doesn't mean he's about to become a criminal! But alas, when the boat he's travelling with is captured, it's not like he can do much else.

Jimmy is spared due to his... interesting predicament. Well, surely this tiny tiny man could be useful! Besides, didn't he use to live close to Pirate Joe? So in exchange for some information on Skeletron's rival and helping them get some treasure for a little while, Jimmy is dropped off at the next port with directions to a shady wizard who might be able to solve his problem.

When he gets to said wizard, they are already expecting him. You see, this is the same wizard who gave Scott his magic eye, and although I'm sure we'll get some actual canon explanation to it eventually, this is an AU in which the wizard may have some... ulterior motives. And they may or may not have been spying on a certain god who lives very close to Chromia. But that's a story for another time!

Jimmy wakes up the next day his normal-sized, human self again! It's almost overwhelming, how much he loves his own body right now. His chest quite literally aches... and that's when he notices a heart-shaped scar on it.

The wizard is still around. They explain to him that, to deal with the curse, they had to remove his heart. Literally. They stored it in this lamp, which emits a blinding red glow — an indicative of how strong it is, how much it feels. The farther away he is from it, the more detached he will be from his feelings. Although that would mean he should probably carry it close at all times, he should not forget that it is still his actual heart; you better keep it safe, kid.

Now that the deed is done, the only thing that the wizard asks for is a front row view when Stratos falls. Jimmy carries a lot of grief, clearly, and if they know anything about him — which they shouldn't, but they strangely do, — he is going to get back at the people who made him miserable for so long. It just so happens that the wizard also has a beef with Joel, so really, they both win in the end!

After some not-so-subtle persuasion and reminders of all the horrible things Jimmy had to endure in the past, the wizard manages to convince our ex-sheriff into going back to the empires to truly bring an end to this story of pain. He's never going to be able to start anew unless he gets rid of all traces of his weak past self, right? His enemies deserve to reap the hate they've sown fashioned in cold blood, right?

And so Jimmy concocts a plan, gathers resources and new (purely professional and with no emotional attachment, never again) allies, and returns to Tumble Town a new man with a new name. In the day, he's a charming and friendly traveller sneaking his way into the emperors' hearts. At night, he's a dangerous bandit carrying a lamp of dwindling red light, playing a game of metaphorical chess with the authorities to bring the pieces of his plan closer together.

-

TL;DR Jimmy leaves the empires bitter with his friends, searches for a way to turn back into a regular human and finds a wizard who does so in exchange for being able to watch the world burn. To reverse the curse, he had to lose his heart, which he now carries in a red lantern closely tied to his feelings. He goes back home for revenge.

Calling this one the Red Light Bandit AU òwó

[lady-of-the-puddle]

Welcome Back

Today I will be rating Beck's

Potential Partners?

The question mark is because some of them were definitely his partners, others will not admit it, and some came to...circumstances preventing a declaration of their love...anyway.

1. Bodhi

Literally on screen for 30 seconds max

We all clocked that shit instantly

Never brought him up again (thx to retroactive backstory oops)

Beck was actually visibly sad about him tho to the point his boss/dad had to ask if he was ok

Absolute cute couple though

8/10 I knew him for five seconds and now I have to kill everyone in this room and then myself

2. Paige

Y'all already know. Everyone knows. The whole grid knows.

The sexual tension is palpable

Which brings me to some difficult questions about the nature of programs and what physical functions they may or may not have.

Ugh I'm a sucker for the rivals to lovers thing tho

12/10 top ten hottest bi power couple if they don't kill each other first

3. Tron

I went over this in my tron's exes list but I must reiterate cause reasons

Can you imagine meeting your hero, your icon, your savior and he's....a bit of a bitch??

But you learn and get to know him and he opens up to you and comes to trust you with his life UGH my heart

9/10 I rated this 7/10 before but I'm not scared anymore they're GOOD

4. Cyrus

Look, he gets in with his bffs and the first thing they say to Beck is "you didn't tell us you had a new bf!" (Totally NOT paraphrasing that).

The fucked up stalker/victim pairing is SUCH good tea

And then he tries to kill him later? Delicious.

7/10 this one's for the toxicity 😏

5. Lux (I had to look up her name)

okay this one loses points because they WANTED me to ship this when we already knew Paige existed

I don't like to be told what to do

I mean, it's ok Beck has two hands(more like eight at this point) I can work with it

loved her jaded perspective turning into hope before she was fridged for male pai- I mean derezzed for reasons relevant to the plot 👀 that was definitely neat

Consider: she is pretty though

4/10 they're both a ten but I'm a bitter bitch so sue me

6. Mara

tbh she's such a cutie and deserves way better than whatever incel shit Zed has going on

no wonder she's in love with Tron/the Renegade (I mean, same) I would beg a superhero to save me from him too

she and Beck have such a good dynamic

would be such a cute friends to lovers pair

can you imagine if she found out her bestie was the renegade she's been visibly/audibly thirsting after? Queen shit.

8/10 This one is actually the least toxic here

7. The rebellion leader whose name escapes me (it's Bartik)

so this guy appears in legacy as the rebel leader at Castor's before getting derezzed five minutes later (shocker there)

this one just kinda leaped into my brain when I binged the show directly after watching Legacy

can you imagine inspiring someone to change sides completely and then become the leader of the very fire you sparked long after you're probably gone? Endlessly romantic.

6/10 I have yet to have a really bad ship tbh

8. Pavel

I hate it, you hate it, we all hate it

But it's still pretty hot

8/10 bitch on bitch violence

9. Zed

Ahaha I hate it

he's way too comfortable with the evil bad guy shit happening around him.

honestly I have no idea why Beck is even friends with him

HOWEVER

jock/loser pairing

Beck CAN AND WILL fix him

3/10 I don't think we can save this one boys

BONUS ROUND:

10. Tesler

LMAO I just thought of this

Why do I love it tho

Something about the Darkseid omega beam hands that make me think weird thoughts

Now I wish I had put this on my tron list

1/10 or 9/10 depending on the day

I really do love that Beck is just the most specialest boy, he's the grid's next top model, he's batman, he's everything. Istg this is a harem anime in disguise and I ship him with everyone.

I can think of at least two programs off the top of my head that I didn't include because I forgot until now, so tell me about your rare pairs, etc. I was thinking about rating Clu's crushes that he handles in a completely normal way next but that might be too much. This is what happens when we have no new content for 10 years.

[xycuro-illuminati]

Bitter exes stuntdevil lore masterpost

Ok so here's the full lore of the bitter exes stuntdevil (Daredevil/Stunt Master divorce) story with how it went down and everything lol (images have alt text)

Big reminder that this would be my version of DD so keep in mind that Matt is Latino here and that I will be taking certain elements from shadowlands here (I'm sorry fellow dd mutuals I just like the whole demon possession aspect by itself. I don't like shadowlands and I think it sucks I just wished they made him into an actual beast demon yknow).

To give a summary of how it goes: The Hand is not involved with the Beast demon at all, they're not going to show up whatsoever. In this version, the beast demon is just a parasitic demon that was hiding in a flower that a group of cultists summoned and when Danny Rand and Matt went to investigate, Matt got too close and was exposed to the pollen, therefore, got infected. The beast demon would shut off his nervous system over time and made Matt unaware of things before completely taking over and transforming him into a monstrous demon that acts like a zombie. Matt would be in a comatose state while the Beast demon was using his body and did whatever it wanted and fed off negative energy. Shadowlands isn't a big marvel event, it just lasted for a short time with only the Heroes for Hire involved and after the exorcism (here's the art showcasing that), Matt was left in a distraught state where he wanted to rebuild himself and clear his head since all he could remember was strangling Foggy (comic here). It made him feel not only horrible and guilty, but he also felt like a burden bc Foggy was juggling between running the law firm and visiting Matt to help him recover. During this, Matt wanted to go back to San Francisco to try to regain his footing again and Foggy decided to let him do so thinking it might help him. It would be this version of the Daredevil Reborn arc (or at least, takes place after it).

And that's where Stunt Master comes in.

For those that don't know who Stunt Master is, George Smith was one of the early villains in Matt's rogues gallery dating all the way back to volume 1. He's a classic vol 1 type villain that wants nothing but fame and fortune, along with getting in Matt's way. His dynamic with Matt during that time was standard antagonist interaction but they also held a playful banter along with some really strong trust bonds and some homoerotic dialogue as per usual.

However, during the Death's Head arc, George has a change of heart after being forced to kidnap Karen Page and wanted to be good. He lead Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze) and Matt to Death's Head and the three of them stopped him. After this interaction, George was no longer considered a villain and even becomes friends with Johnny during the older runs (which he originally met up with Ghost Rider bc he wanted to make up to Matt for his kindness).

George doesn't show up that much again but going back to where Matt is going through it post demonic possession: the two of them meet up. Matt tells him his identity as Daredevil and what happened during their catching up, and George tries to help him out by going on stunt rides to help get Matt's mind off of things. Since Matt had felt like a burden before, for George to treat him as if nothing changed, it made Matt feel better in some weird way. That was how Matt fell madly in love with George. All those wild stunts and running around as vigilantes, plus Matt being in a vulnerable mental state, it all added up for Matt to quickly attach himself to George and would do anything for him.

Matt and George began dating and Matt adopted some of George's cowboy aesthetics into his costume.

At first, they were doing a few good things here and there trying to do the right thing. But George has always wanted fame and fortune, so that fame got to his head and he started to fall back to his old criminal ways. Unfortunately, because Matt was so down bad and lovesick, he went along with it without acknowledging the repercussions. Matt returned to NYC to reunite with Foggy, but after Foggy learned about what George was doing, he wasn't a fan of this relationship (literally the smartest mf here and yes, Foggy was PISSED OFF rightfully so). Matt was getting worse and worse over the few months, and he eventually ditched the law firm and left Foggy to deal with work by himself while he and George went on a road trip to Las Vegas where they eventually got married there. Matt fully adopted the cowboy aesthetic and had a criminal cowboy daredevil suit made for him as both a wedding suit and a vigilante costume.

The two idiots kept causing a shit ton of crime including vandalism and theft, specifically robbing trains. Some of those crimes eventually caught Johnny Blaze's attention, making him surprised that his good ol' friend George was going back to being a criminal again. When Johnny confronted them, George rambled about wanting fame again and that any attention is good attention no matter what. Matt had even convinced George that Johnny's disapproval shouldn't mean anything to him, to which made Johnny believe that Matt was enabling him (here's the full comic that I drew here).

(It's also a little secret addition to this little exchange where Johnny expresses how he feels about Daredevil when asked:

Doesn't wanna say anything about the whole cowboy phase so he says this instead lol. But that's just me).

The three of them started beef with each other so whenever Ghost Rider was involved, it was a whole shit show.

(Full post of this image here)

Matt and Johnny fought the most while George would either watch from afar and root for Matt or continue with whatever scheme they were up to. Along with all of this happening, post marriage was starting to make Matt slowly wake up from his lovesick phase and he was realizing that George was not a good partner after all. The two would get into petty arguments while also doing some headass shit to spite the other. George was insensitive to Matt's feelings while Matt would constantly ignore George whenever he tried talking to him. Not only that, George was so bad at sex that Matt completely lost his sex drive. These two were not a good couple and over the year, Matt was slowly figuring that out.

George has done shit from putting the motorcycle in the bed, only caring about The Mets and watching their games during sex, played the worst disco songs Matt has ever heard, and he was overall just a shitty partner. The two of them eventually fell out of love and barely tolerated each other, whether it was during domestic moments or during their crime schemes.

At one point during a fight, Ghost Rider ruined the veil on Matt's suit along with using a heated chain on him and burned a section of Matt's left bicep. After that fight, Matt realized that fighting Ghost Rider for George wasn't worth any risk and refused to fight Johnny no matter what George says. George went after Ghost Rider by himself only to get absolutely smoked while his costume got tarnished in the process.

Matt later on went back to NYC to visit Foggy, and by visit, he basically showed up at Foggy's doorstep in the middle of the night during a rainstorm while still wearing the cowboy outfit.

Foggy was reluctant at first, but Matt admits being a stupid fucking idiot and apologizes for leaving Foggy to run the law firm by himself. After being let in, Matt begs Foggy to help him divorce George, and Foggy agrees to help him out just this once. Matt goes back to George to talk to him and after another argument, they both agree on getting a divorce since at this point they can't stand being around each other anymore.

After the divorce, Matt was finally improving on himself and then the events of vol 3 and 4 starts. During Matt's whole identity-being-revealed, whenever someone asks him about the whole cowboy Daredevil fiasco back in San Francisco, Matt made up the excuse that the cowboy Daredevil wasn't him but instead some random guy. A faker. An imposter, if you will.

George comes back during vol 4 in issues 11-12 where he decides to take the opportunity for more fame and fortune by orchestrating the entire Kid Stunt Master arc where he faked his own suicide and took drugs to make sure Matt couldn't tell he was lying. He also did this to spite Matt as well so there's that to add onto.

Since it's been a few years after interacting with each other and George (pretending to be) being desperate for his help, Matt decided to give him a chance and had truly believed that George had changed over the years. And Matt was genuinely sadden over his (fake) suicide.

Matt started reminiscing the good ol' days when they were friends and even the beginning days of their developing relationship. Of course, after finding out the truth of George orchestrating the entire thing, Matt quickly snuffed out those reminiscing feelings and went straight back to completely hating on George.

After that ordeal, he wants his ex husband to get hit by a truck. He wants nothing to do with George Smith whatsoever.

After Kirsten learned about the entire divorce, her, Matt, and Foggy decide to celebrate the divorce date as a fun little anniversary. A few years later, Johnny and Matt finally sit down and have a conversation about the whole criminal cowboy phase and after learning both perspectives, there was an understanding (comic I drew here). But despite learning the truth, Matt and Johnny still have some grievances between each other, they just learn to keep a distance and be respectful when necessary.

Which is why there's a hate triangle guide I made for the three in the first place lmao.

There you go, that's the entire lore for this crack hateship of mine. If I were an official Marvel writer, I would definitely use this to reveal Matt's bisexuality being canon. It would be the worst way to reveal a bi character but it would be so funny and so worth it.

Here's a playlist of it. If you have any cheesy, funny, or over the top dramatic bad break up songs lmk I'll add it to the list.

[t3kandson]

Player in Danger

Word count; 11,663

Fandom; The Boyz, Straykids and a little Itzy.

Pairing; Reader X Bang Christopher, Reader X Seo Changbin, Seo Changbin X Bang Christopher & Reader X Lee Juyeon.

Characters; Bang Christopher, Seo Changbin, Lee Juyeon, Sohn Eric, Kim Sunwoo, Ji Changmin, Kim Younghoon, Choi Chanhee, Hur Hyunjun, Lee Hyunjae, Lee Minho & Shin Ryujin. Mentions of Lee Sangyeon, Moon Kevin, Ju Haknyeon, Han Jisung, Kim Seungmin & Yang Jeongin.

Warnings, Angst, Jealousy, Bitterness, Deceiving, Trapping, insecurity, Denial, Betrayal, Miscarriage talk, Cheating, Wanking, Pegging, Sub Christopher, Dom Reader.

Taglist; @nyu-topia

Notes; part 6/7 of Player.

Previous parts found here.

Including the previous part Player in Denial.

Juyeon’s POV

"You ok Juyeon?" Lulu’s voice came to your attention. "Let's sit down," she said as she tried to place her hand warmly on your shoulder. Gently persuading you to move towards the side room. But you stopped briefly a few steps later. "Who's the baby's dad?" You questioned praying for another reason for the swelling in her stomach. "Who do you think?" She snorts almost amused as your eyes widen.

"It's Changmin," she said confidently as you feel like everything is lifted from you. "Wait you thought," she started giggling excited. "Wait if I knew that's where your mind went I would have played along," she smirked walking in front of you as your feet moved to follow her. "And your sure, your sure it's Changmin’s," you asked remembering you had lost Jubin from a misunderstanding. "They are Changmin’s," she said stroking her bump excitedly as she walked to the relative room with you. "They're?" You questioned as she chuckled once more. "I'm having twins that's why I'm so huge for a five-month pregnant woman," she chuckles as her hands massaged her belly. "It's ok were both saved, you're not the father if that's what your asking," she said as she sits. "You happy?" You ask as she nods almost looking besotted. "Can't believe Changmin didn't tell me, the dark horse," you said as she smiled his way. "He wanted to, he wanted to show them off. But I stopped him," she said as you tilted your head confused. "Why?" You asked as she smiled softly. "Because it's weird you know letting your partner tell your ex that he's right," she paused as you pointed at yourself further puzzled. "You told me I would find a better life and I did. But their was a part of me that was hoping you was miserable and missed me," she said honestly as she clenched her hands on her knees. "Especially when I heard you was being the most doting uncle to the child that's biologically yours with her," she said looking pained. You knew she would have found out about Jubin as you knew Elle would have rushed to tell her. But you didn't think for a second the pain that she must have suffered. Though she had been the person you had cheated on Y/N with. You knew she was madly in love with you and had paid the price already. "It's ok I got over it the second these little bundles came," she said brushing her hand around her bump once more. "I don't need to be jealous of her anymore because I have my own happy story," she said pushing her loose hair behind her ear. "I'm really happy for you," you said holding your hand out to her. "I really hope that their healthy and you finally get your happy ever after," you said standing up.

"You off already?" She said looking a little disappointed not to talk more with you. "Eric just informed me Sunwoo told Jubin I'm her father, so I have my own happy ever after to catch," you said as she looked saddened for you. "I hope you can catch it and be a father to your little girl. Sangyeon says your so good with her that he's seeing you grow into a good man," she said standing up. "Wow a compliment from Sangyeon," you said almost dazed from that confession. "I know but he seems to have eased up on both of us since my baby news and you stepping up for your daughter. I think he finally forgives us or more importantly me," she says looking at peace with that. "Hard not to when he's the one married and with kids too," you chuckled as she deadpanned your way. "Think you two should put this all behind you now and stop living in the past. If he's willing to do that you should too," she said starting to walk out the room. Suddenly she moaned out her lips pursing as your heart started to panic again. "Lulu what's up? Are the babies ok?” you asked panicky as your hands went to her shoulders. "It's ok just one of the little mischief makers has just woken up and yeah I'm starting to feel the kicks," she chuckled blowing her hair strand out her eyesight. "Their kicking already?" You asked in awe as she smiled even more at you. "Yes, feel," she said pressing your hand to her stomach. Small little bumps into your palm even over her clothing was felt. It felt so emotional and your heart was blossoming as the thought of her own happiness their growing in her. Though you were sad you never experienced this with Jubin their was a part of you that wanted this so badly with Y/N. The desire to have her in your arms and make her the mother of a sibling for your daughter. You wanting to enjoy all these moments with her. "Don't you go getting attached Lee Juyeon," she smirks. "I'm not I promise, I just hope one day I get this experience myself," you said still enjoying the feeling of the babies beneath your palm. "With Y/N?” she asks into the silence. "It's ok I know you want it and you can be honest and say it," she says looking at you without any pain. "Is it bad that I want to say yes, I want to snatch her and our daughter and run away from the life she has," you admitted feeling all kinds of guilt hit. "Even if it means taking them away from Changbin and Christopher," she asks as you nod closing your eyes with the bad thoughts. "Sometimes dreams come from breaking someone else's, it's sad, it's bad. But if she's meant to be with them she won't leave them. If she does then she never wanted them," she said smiling. "Just don't force it taking them by force. A booby prize isn't worth the fake relationship you get," she said looking in a little in pain. "Sorry," you said letting your hands fall from her. "It's ok like I said without that I wouldn't have had these. You were the brambles I had to trench through to find Nevada," she chuckled as you mirrored shaking your head at her. "Go fight for your baby mama babe," she said pressing a kiss to your cheek before walking towards Elle’s Labour room. She turns to you once more to find you stood there. "Go, shoo, go find your happy ever after," she said looking complete. Your heart feels at peace knowing that everything between you has settled. It isn't just you that's grown and changed but her too, but maybe it's what parenthood does to you.

-------------------------🔺----------------------------

Ringing Y/N hadn't been fruitful. Her phone was turned off as it had been for a while. It either was off or your calls avoided all together these days. You knew Changbin wouldn't be answering but you felt frustrated with Christopher. He had supported you since saving Jubin. You couldn't help but fear that the truth being revealed would push you away from your daughter. You had regular nightmares of finding them moved away. It took two weeks for Christopher to respond finally. He had told you Y/N wasn't feeling very well and that he would take over arrangements with Jubin and would bring her to you. His usual happy self was faded when his eyes took yours. "Samchon Juju," Jubin cried as she ran to you excited. You could have heard your heart collapse hearing her remain at calling you uncle. You don't know what you expected, but it felt like the relations with them three had been thrown to dust. Added with the extra pain that your own daughter had still decided to call you uncle instead of daddy. If it wasn't for the fact you knew Y/N confirmed her paternity you would have expected them to be angry with you for your friend revealing the truth.

---------------------------🔺--------------------------

"I don't know why your complaining, you get alone time with out them now," Minho said as you watched from the garden as Ryujin and Jubin was baking. "I know that that's great progress. But it's not fair on our daughter this icy atmosphere. We all need to talk it through as it's not solving anything right now," you complain drinking the lime water Jubin made you minutes before her cooking class with Minho’s wife. "Have you asked Christopher this?" He asks relaxing on the garden chairs. "Yes I'm always texting all three of them. It's like I'm being punished," you said whining. "Maybe by heavily acknowledging your Jubin's father they want to keep a good distance between you and her. Maybe this is a sign to move on," he said lifting his sunglasses so that his eyes could stay in contact with yours. "What I'm over here, not their pining over her," you said hands in the air as he deadpanned you. "Coming from the bloke who can't cope now he can't see her," he scoffs as you felt exposed. "Well yes ok I miss her, as a friend," you said as he shook his head. "Fine I will speak to them for you, but this is the one and only time I will interfere. You got it," he growls your way. "Your do it," you asked with excitement as he rolled his eyes. "Thanks hopefully we can go back to being all civil, friendly and happy," you said relaxing as Jubin appeared with a cake bowl and a spoon in hand licking it as the mixture falls upon her messy face. "Had fun princess?" You ask as you sit her on your lap and snuggle into her. Holding your bundle brings you so much joy even if it's bitter sweet on all the years missed. "Yes i did, can we come here and make cakes with Auntie Ryujin again daddy," she said as you almost choked on your own spit. Eyes blinking as you could see your heart pumping through them. Your daughter called you daddy for the first time. It was so surreal to hear her call you that that you forgot to even breathe let alone reply. "Your always welcome here sweetie," Ryujin said saving you from your moment of not even being able to function. "Really that would be so good, Mummy doesn't know how to cook that well," she said as you couldn't help but chuckle. "She called me daddy," you mouthed to Minho as he nodded happy for you. "Hey princess, we should start organising that horse riding i promised you. What do you think of that?" You asked as your hands played with her hair. She turned to you in pure excitement. "Really, Oh Daddy I so can't wait," she said throwing her arms around you. Holding her tight to you you felt the most contented you had ever felt. Jubin was your life and you weren't ever letting go of this feeling of pure contentment of family life with your little girl.

Minho had offered to drive Jubin home so he could speak with them both. But he had come back saying it wasn't successful, Changbin had refused to even discuss Jubin with him telling him politely to mind his business.

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However, the following day you were summoned by Changbin himself, so maybe their was a change at heart. Going to the cafe to meet them had you feeling content that you were finally able to get your life back. Instead of all three of them, you found Changbin's arms folded and looking annoyed. Reminding you when he first realised who you were at Minho's wedding. Feeling self conscious all of a sudden you sat down. "Just you?" You asked as he chuckled with annoyance. "Why expecting Y/N?" He scoffs as your brows furrowed. "No was expecting you and Christopher," you half lied. "Well Y/N is taking it easy she's hopefully pregnant with our baby," he said defining the word Our. "Y/N's pregnant?" You scoff having his words hit you like a truck. "I thought you two was close, didn't she tell you," he said almost smirking. "Maybe we wasn't as close as you feared Changbin," you said with slight avoidance of a connection with Y/N. "We've been trying for a child for a while, be nice to give Jubin another sibling," he said sitting up straight as your head tilts at his words. "Another why you hiding a kid I didn't already know?" You said intrigued. "No that's you," he said accusingly. "Huh?" You said almost dumbfounded. "I'm sure unless theirs other children I didn't know about, which ok I will admit a chance of that, that their is just Jubin," you said almost bewildered with where this conversation was going. "And this is why Y/N doesn't want to see you, because you haven't changed. You're still lying even about your own child yet you want us all to sit around the table and discuss Jubin," he said picking up his cup of coffee to take a sip of it. "Wait I'm totally confused what you are accusing me of doing?" You said getting slightly annoyed. "That was all I needed to hear to prove your still the game player Y/N feared you was. In future if you want to play Daddy At least talk to us first before making her call you that," he said standing up. Now anger was rising through you, who did he think he was trying to take the one joy you had as a father away from you. "Excuse me, I know you like playing at being a daddy to my daughter but you don't get to tell My daughter what she chooses to call me. For the record she was the one who called me Daddy off her own back," you growled wanting to punch his smirking grin off his face. "Well if your friend didn't spill that on her she wouldn't feel forced to call a man she barely knows Dad," Changbin said scrunching his nose in bitterness.

"Barely knows I've almost known her for half a year, for the record if your girlfriend didn't want our daughter to know me as her daddy. Then why did she confirm what my stupid friend said. I heard she didn't put up that much of a fight. Ask yourself why that is Seo Changbin," you spat at him watching his smirk fade slightly. "Just admit your scared, your terrified that Y/N still has feelings. Ask yourself this why was she making sure to come on trips with me and Jubin. I didn't need her there, she went because she wanted to," you said into his face before he grabbed you by your collar. "Go on punch me you know you want to, because you know I'm right. All this this is because your scared now Jubin knows the truth that I'm going to take her away from you," you hit out as his face went red. "Please can you take this outside," the owner of the cafe said approaching as Changbin released his grip on you. "It's ok I'm taking my leave anyway, tell my daughter I love her and will see her for our weekend Friday," you said smirking at him as you went to walk off. "Why don't you focus on your kid with Lulu and leave Jubin to us?" He said in a almost pleaded demand as you spun on your heel towards him. Everything suddenly made sense, had they seen Lulu at the hospital looking pregnant and presumed the same then him. "Changbin you need to get some facts straight. Lulu is pregnant, but not with my kid, it's Changmin. Ask Sangyeon to confirm it as you guys are all up his ass these days," you said watching his face relax slightly. "But nice to know you played on Y/N’s emotions with her to get her away from me because of your pointless fear," you said walking towards him. "If you're interfering still continues to affect my relationship with my daughter I will come take Y/N from you that's a promise," you threatened watching anger fill through him again. With that you walked out the cafe annoyed and irritated. Had he seen Lulu and convinced Y/N that you were hiding a child. No wonder she was ignoring you. Though you took joy from making Changbin jealous his previous words stung. She was pregnant with their baby. Did this mean it was all over, their was no chance of winning her back? No way of having her in any way in your life. Their was no way he would let his pregnant partner near an ex. You were caught between anger but also regret, she should be carrying your child, you should be married and excited for the birth of your second child with her. Though you wanted to blame everyone that had made this path uneven you couldn't help but know deep down that this was on you.

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Y/N’s POV

You had been woken up by a bouncing Jubin on your bed. Having been asleep when she got back from Juyeon's the previous night. And all she wanted to talk about was her time with her daddy. It had taken a while for you guys to suddenly figure her talking about Juyeon. Changbin's hurt in his eyes at hearing her address Juyeon as her Dad. You wanted to console him but knew no words could, you had made this mess. Hopefully you would be pregnant soon enough and be able to truly show them how sorry you were. "Are you ok?" You said hands brushing up his muscular arms that would normally turn you into a mushy mess. "I'm fine," he said opening his arms for you to sink into. Something else being new as he had suddenly started being more needy. "I know your upset with the whole Jubin calling Juyeon Daddy. I'm sorry I had hoped this would all go away," you said as he leaned his head onto your shoulder. "I'm sure once his baby’s born he will soon forget her and move on," you tried to paint. Deep down you knew Juyeon would never run from Jubin. He hadn't yet, even knowing he was having a child with Lulu. But their was a part of you that knew that him abandoning Jubin would solve all this mess. "You don't mean that Y/N that's not fair on Jubin," Christopher said coming from behind you. "It's a bit selfish on our behalf to wish that. At the end of the day that man is her father," he said hands held high as you rolled your eyes in defeat. He was right, he was always was, in your jealousy you were wishing something that would hurt your daughter. Guilt hit through your body as such bad thoughts. "How come Minho brought her home yesterday anyway," he asked as your head zapped to Changbin, not even aware. "Nothing much, just thought it would be easier for us if he brought her. Think he just wanted to chat about random stuff, you know man time," he said tensing slightly. "That was good of him," Christopher said as he made his way to the garden when Jubin came through the back door. "Daddy Chris,” She said making you blink as she rarely called him that. He was Daddy and Changbin was Daddy Binnie. "When can I see Daddy next?" She asked as you felt the air be sucked from Changbin. "I'm sure at the weekend you can see Daddy Juju," Changbin said with a little dominance in his tone. It was clear he was attempting to bring some form of lack of importance to Juyeon. "Why can't he come for tea, I like it when your all here," she said looking hopeful as Christopher picked her into his arms. "We're really busy at the moment Princess, it's hard when all of us Daddy's are working hard for lots of things to pay for your treats," he said as Changbin picked his phone up in pure anger and annoyance and started typing. "Binnie," you said with a confused glance his way but his phone was tilted out of your view. "You mean like my horse riding lessons, Daddy said he would take me this weekend," she said as Christopher looked to you both. Changbin had his back to you all, both you and Christopher knew that he wasn't in a pleasing mood. "Baby," you whispered as your hand fell to his shoulder before he turned to look your way like nothing had happened. "I'm ok I promise," he said as if he has snapped himself out his moment of inside rage. "How about we fix these dance lessons we promised you, come show me what lessons you would like," he said walking to Christopher to take her from his arms. As he walked to the table to the laptop resting their you walked towards Christopher. "What are we going to do," you said almost hopeful he had a plan to fix this. "We can't do much, we can only try to navigate through this. But Y/N it's going to be hard. We need to keep a strong stable civil stance for Jubin's sake," he whispered before leaving you standing their watching Changbin with Jubin all excited at the prospect of her lessons.

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"You not eating," Christopher said as Changbin walked passed the dinner table towards the door. "I got some errands to do," he growled without giving you a glance. "Where are you going?” you said rushing to join him before he could leave. "I just said some errands," he said a lot more softer with a smile. "I will be back soon I promise, got to pick up a few bits that's all. That and get some fresh air. Today’s been hard, so going to pop into Jisungs. He said holding your hand as you pecked him on the cheek. He had been through the mill recently due to your actions the least he could do was have some him time with his friend.

When he returned drunk he crawled into the bed that you were snuggling up tight to Christopher in. His arms reaching around you cramming you between himself and Christopher. Lips falling along your neck as you smell his night on him, abrupting you from your sleep. Eyes too tired and slammed shut refusing to open he pouted against your skin. "Please don't leave us for him," he pleaded pulling his arms around your stomach. "Your really break my heart if you leave," he chokes almost tearful. "I've never wanted anything so much as I've wanted Chris, you, Jubin and our baby. Please don't let him take you from us," he whimpers that you feel splashes of what your sure are his tears against your skin. "Baby I'm not leaving," you whisper barely audible.

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Several weeks had past and you continued to avoid Juyeon. Everything was almost perfect at home even though Changbin was clingy. Especially after dropping Jubin to Minho, who was taking charge of the drop off. Changbin would often afterwards go out drinking with Jisung, Seongmin and Jeongin often coming home a whimpering mess.

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"I'm really worried about Binnie," you said plopping on to Christopher’s lap while he was having his time playing the computer. Something he had started doing when Jubin was with Juyeon. "He's ok," he said almost distracted. "He's not and you know it please don't lie to try and reassure me," you said turning to sit facing him. "Look he will be ok, let him adjust to this new pattern of events," he said trying to look around you. "Well he better sort his shit out we can't continue like this when the baby arrives," you said as he chuckled as his hands clicked around on the controls. "Especially as I'm seven days late," you whispered as he blinked froze to the spot, before turning to look at you like he had seen a ghost. "What?" He choked, "your pregnant?" He whispered as you chuckled his way. "I think so," you said as he picked you up in his arms squeezing you hard to his chest. "Oh my god we need to ring him, this will get his ass home, this is what he needs, we need this. Wow, I'm going to be a dad again," he said throwing you into the air in pure excitement. "I’m not confirmed so don't get too excited," you said as he deadpanned your way. "Don't burst this, don't take this from me Y/N let me have my moment before I have to be sensible," he pleads as you chuckle. "Ok Daddy I will behave," you smirk as he looks at you with a wicked expression. "I need to fuck you, we need to celebrate this," he said horny and gone in the news. "You find out you're going to be a dad and you got turned on," you said hitting his chest lightly. "You pregnant is such a turn on, when you were carrying Jubin, well the things it did to me," he said biting his bottom lip. "Well actually I got you a gift I was going to use it next time we had a big special night," you said blushing slightly. "What's that?" He said looking intrigued. "Come with me," you said making him let you drop to your feet, walking to the room him dragging behind connected by your hand.

Reaching your destination you reached under your personal bed. His hands falling to the cheeks of your ass pressed in the air. "Oie cheeky," you said coming back to stand by him, box in hand. "Our bed," you said winking as he put his hand directing you to the door. Pulling him once more you took him to your joint bedroom before placing the box in his hand. Leaning towards the cupboard you smirked at him as he eagly opened his gift. His eyes lighting up in shock your way. "Y/N why have you got this?” he asked still in disbelief. "Well I thought I should attend to your needs, especially now your cum isn't needed to be deposited in me," you smirk completely enthralled with his reaction. "You going to fuck me," he said with his eyes full of sudden desire in them. "Yes, I’ll have you beg for my cock," you said as deep as your voice could go without sounding stupid.

"You always find a way to shock me," he said pulling you into him. His tongue makes it’s way into your mouth. Deep passionate kisses befall as your body's clashes against each other. Hands falling up his hair finding some to grasp in your hands, you pull throwing his head back. Lips fall upon his neck as he hums totally weak within your grasps. You had seen Changbin being very dominating with him so you knew it was what made him weak. But the thought your own actions was doing it also was making your blood pump in a feverish excitement. Pulling on his T-shirt you pulled it off him. Hands softly stroking his chest they found his nipple as they skirted around. Deep hums fill the air before your lips suckle along his flesh, making them vibrate longer. "Fuck Y/N," he cries as your teeth slightly dig into his skin around his sensitive buds. Hands colliding with his slacks that fall deep within to his harden member. Pumping him has him close his eyes to full blown whimpers. "Look at you a whimpering mess at my hands. You wait till I'm fucking this plump ass," you whisper as your other hand falls to his cheeks as you grope him. "Please," he begs lost already in his needy state. "Look at you, you’re a mess and I’ve hardly touched you," you gloat enjoying the power and understanding how Changbin enjoys it. "I need your cock fucking me," he begs as you speed your pace on his member. "Please Y/N," he cries out as your own nub Throbs. "Ok baby on all fours, ass in the air," you demand as he lets his sweats fall to the floor obeying. Finding the lube in Changbin's draw you lube your finger before bringing it to his rim. Pressing it in he hisses as you let it slowly bring a rhythm. "You're being so good baby," you praise before a second finger joins. You let the tip of your digits explore the unfelt before feeling. The sounds Christopher makes has your own slick drip down your thighs. "I think your ready baby, wouldn't you say?” you ask him more for confirmation as he nods. "Words baby I need words," you demand. "Y/N please I'm ready," he confirms as you grin feeling a little sadden that Changbin is not their to witness you fucking both your lover.

Stepping into the strap on you check the fastening before lubing your plastic cock up. Pressing kisses to Christopher’s lower back you place the makeshift cock to his entrance. "You sure you want my cock in you," you say as he growls in impatience. "Y/N I need you to fuck me, stop stalling," he growls as you feel elated at how needy he is. Pressing in you hear him hiss as you slowly rock the tip in. Fucking him inch by inch you bottom out before you press kisses on his back as you still. Hands find the bottom of his spine for leverage as you start your pace. At first it's exciting new and different and the sound of his whimpering needy mess has your body on fire. But it soon lights something in you too, your own needs. Nub throbbing as the friction of the material drives you crazy. You soon realise that if you slam with a harsh thrust the plastic attached to the pants hits your own core. It spurs you into your own desperate need as your pace becomes fast hard and desperate. Noises from your own mouth mix with his and you feel the vibration from him shaking as he closes in on his orgasm. Your hand falls to his cock to help pump him as you fuck into him. "Shit Y/N," he cries as you feel wetness hit your fingers. Your pace still unmerciful on his ass as you chase your own. The feeling hitting right where you need it against your throbbing nub. "Let go," he whimpers underneath you with encouragement. His words spurring you over the edge as you cum into the underwear holding the cock still embedded in his ass. Collapsing over him he stifled his laughter as your cheek rests against his muscular shoulder. "You planning on staying embedded in me?” he says playfully as he twists so you fall to the bed beside him. "You look such a sexy hot wet mess their baby," he says with a orgasm overglow. "My sexy baby mama," he says pressing his lips to yours.

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Sitting on the kitchen counter as Christopher cooks the Doenjang Jjigae he smiles when he hears Changbin and Jubin come in. "Hi baby," you smirk excitedly as he looks between you and Christopher wary. "What are you two up to?” he asks as he rests his keys on the side. "Princess why don't you go and wash up for dinner," Christopher said as she quietly nodded before leaving to go to her room. "What?” Changbin says filled with anxiety. "Ok don't get too excited but we think Y/N may be pregnant," Christopher said as Changbin froze to the spot. "What your," he gasped looking at your belly. "Well I'm a week late, and I'm feeling rather nauseas," you said stroking your stomach. "Well why haven't you tested yet?" He said shakey as he tried to hold on to his excitement. "We were waiting for you so we could do it together," you said stepping from the counter to make your way to him. "So let's eat, put Jubin to bed and let's test," he said pressing his lips roughly to yours in an impatient need to hold you. "One problem, we haven’t got a test," Christopher said breaking your moment. "Then let's eat and while you settle our oldest daughter I will get a test for our baby," Changbin said applying the same affection to his Lover. "I love you both so much," he said as he laced his hands with you both. "Our family will be so complete," he added with an extra squeeze of your hands. "This time no burger dates," Christopher said pointing at you both. "We're not feeding her healthy poison all the time," Changbin said pouting as your sure your own mirrored. "I expect to be included too," he said smirking as you leaned onto his shoulders. "Our date night," you said feeling secure, happy and hopeful the test would confirm your complete family. "You have to be less rough with her," Christopher said pointing at his younger as he shrugged his shoulder. "We all know Jubin arrived because you broke the walls holding her in," he added as you cringed slightly at Christopher’s comment. "I promise to be switch with her till she's due. I’ll use you as my dick puncher instead," Changbin winked as you held your arms tight around Christopher in pure contentment.

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Walking around the baby clothes section looking for a cute baby grow had made you so very broody. Changbin had returned home the night before, depressed that he couldn't find a pregnancy test. You spent the evening consoling him and trying hard but failing to contain your new excitement. He had messaged earlier in the day with excited emoji saying the test was brought. You felt passing a cute baby grow would make it all feel real once it was confirmed. The fact you had been sick this morning practically confirming to you that you had successfully conceived their child. Though Juyeon was fleetingly in your thoughts. Their was a part of you trying to throw down the pain that you had experienced carrying Jubin. Instead you was imagining him doing all that with Lulu. The happiness of his face bringing another child into the world but this time he hadn't been cut out. Jealousy was raging through at the thought, that you swore you was imagining Lulu herself. It took seconds for you to realise Lulu was indeed standing not far from you, Elle in her company as she pushed the pram of her infant. It took seconds for Lulu's eyes to find yours. In the sudden desperate need to get away you started dashing from the door.

"Y/N please don't go," you heard her call from behind you. "Please don't make me chase you not in my condition," she added as you stood frozen to her words. You were scared to turn to look at her seeing her showing her beautiful condition carrying his child. "Y/N, are you really pregnant?" She asked softly as you turned to face her. Instead of the cockiness you were use to seeing, she was softer and more looked like she wanted to be in your company. The silence from you reached her as she smiled warmly. All while Elle’s reaction was her usual frustration. “Look I just wanted to say I think as now we're all having children of our own, I should start the process of us leaving the past behind us," she said looking hopeful. "Because we share Jubin now?" You said looking at her realising the daunting realisation that she was your daughters step mum. "No that's not it, Y/N this bitterness, this jealousy isn't healthy for any of us. Not for you with your baby coming, or mine," she said stroking her stomach with proudness. "We were kids when we acted shamelessly and hurt your feelings," Lulu said hopeful for some sort of response. "Are you asking for forgiveness for yourself or me?" You asked still struggling to hold a little venom in your tone. "Lulu leave it babe, she's not interested. Like Juyeon said she closed herself off and only see’s them," Elle snorts rolling her eyes. "Them?" You said abruptly annoyed with her words. "She didn't mean it like that, we shouldn't be getting involved in Juyeon's war with you," she said shooting daggers at Elle. "Look I don't think we're be friends, Elle clearly agrees with me the past can't be changed. I wish you and Juyeon all the best with the baby, but minus Jubin we don't have anything left to discuss. To be fair you might be my daughter's step mum but me and Juyeon are still her parents," you said with a harsh tone before spinning around to walk off. "What are you on about, theirs no me and Juyeon," she said with confusion in her tone. "Wait you think Juyeon's my babies dad?" She questioned as you turned to her with slight hope for her next words. "I think we should have a nice coffee, cake and a real chat, sounds like theirs a few things that you've become confused about," she said as Elle clicked the roof of her mouth with annoyance. "So Juyeon isn't with you, he isn't the baby's father?" You asked with desperate need for a response. "No Y/N, Changmin is my fiancée he's the father of my babies," she said softly then you had ever noticed. "Juyeon is madly in love with you, you're the only person in his heart, his life, you have always been his true love. Just he made a mistake, a really big one but that don't stop him loving you," she said stepping closer to you as the words fell around you. Heart beating fast at your confusion. Juyeon wasn't all the things you feared this time, he wasn't being dishonouring. "Let's go for that coffee ok?" She said as you nodded silently chewing over the words. All while trying to understand why you was so happy to hear that news.

Having chatted for almost an hour, you had warmed against Lulu. Even Elle had softened and you had a cuddle with her and Eric's daughter Lily. She was such a tiny little bundle. All Eric's features yet Elle’s pale complexion, she really was the sweetest pure and innocent as her little fingers gripped yours. It wasn't long before Changmin and Eric appeared. "She’s the most beautiful thing ever right?" Eric said with proudness. "She really is, congratulations again," you said as you passed the bundle to her father. Changmin sneaked to the seat next to Lulu as he wrapped his arm around her all doted and in love. You watched feeling content as Eric swaddled his daughter and held her like she was the most precious thing in the world. "You could get love sick from this all, right," a voice said taking you by surprise, it was Lee Juyeon

Jolting in your seat you took Juyeon in, his face looking pleased to see you. Your heart racing like it was deliberately setting your emotions up to fail.

"I think it's cute if I'm honest," said smiling his way which made him even more content. "We need to go, I'm sure Juyeon will keep you company," Lulu said standing up. "Wait you rang him didn't you?" You said noticing their desperate need to dash. "You both need to talk, especially now you know that me and him aren't having babies," Elle teased as Juyeon looked between you both confused. "She thought," , "I know what she thought but I thought Changbin had put this misunderstanding to bed," Juyeon said sounding annoyed. "Changbin? Misunderstanding?" You spluttered tilting your head to his words. "He knew, I told him already that Changmin was Elle's baby daddy," Juyeon said bitterly. "When, When did you tell him?" You questioned desperate to know. "A month ago maybe even five weeks now," Juyeon said crossing his arm as everyone departed. "Wait so your telling me Changbin knew you wasn't Elles babies dad?" You questioned as you felt like the world was spinning. "Yes, we even met up for a coffee while he was butt hurt that Jubin had started calling me Daddy," he said sitting down in Elle’s seat. "No that's not right he would have told me," you said in denial as he rolled his eyes. "Y/N he did, from the sound of it he was only their to basically tell me to back off. He even told me about the baby. Which by the way you're looking so good, bet you can't wait to be showing soon," he added looking up and down your body.

"Wait he told you I was pregnant?” you questioned being confused with each word spilled. "Yes he told me you was pregnant and to practically stay away," he said with his eyes piercing yours. Elle’s words earlier she had known about the baby, Changbin hadn't even known for 24 hours, how did she know so fast? "Elle knew too?" You questioned as he nodded. "Yeah Changbin told Jeongin so basically everyone knew," he said looking worried as your brain unlocked these new words. "Changbin’s been telling everyone I'm pregnant what like yesterday or something?" You said as he looked puzzled your way. "He's been telling everyone for ages, why are you not pregnant?" He said almost hopeful. "I wasn't a month ago, we were only trying for a baby back then," you said as Juyeon looked hurt. "So he didn't tell you you were misunderstanding about Elle so he could get you pregnant and trap you. Classical Changbin, he fears me so much he traps you with a kid of his own," Juyeon snaps annoyed as your hand falls to your stomach.

"Please don't talk about my partner like that," you snap feeling the need to defend him in that moment. "Sorry I apologise, I'm just angry that he didn't put you clear on the situation. Our daughter has missed out because you've been avoiding me," he said taken aback at your tone. "That wasn't Changbin that was me, I regret telling our daughter the truth," you said as Juyeon looked like your words punched holes in him. "You would have lied to her?" He questions as his hand grips the table. "Yes, because this is all messy, we're messy. Changbin was right, we can't see each other. I’m carrying their child," you said standing up watching his eyes water. This couldn't end any other way now. "Y/N, Jubin is our daughter don't do this to me, don't do this to our little girl," he said holding on to you. "Juyeon, I won't take Jubin away from you I promise, but we can't see each other anymore. I’m sorry," you said as your voice cracked. "Why I don't understand?" Juyeon said standing up. "Because it's not safe, I can't be around you," you admitted as his eyes widened. "Wait your avoiding me because you don't trust yourself around me?" He asked as you went silent not sure how to answer that. "Y/N please be honest with me," he said cupping your face as your heart refused to calm. "Y/N, if you wasn't pregnant and you didn't have this Elle misunderstanding, would you have been mine by now?" He asked as you closed your eyes to his words. "I remember the way it felt when you kissed me before Elle had Lily," he said placing his fingers on your lips. "The feeling of your lips set mine almost on fire," he added stepping close to you. Closing your eyes, you felt close to passing out you had to get out there before you did something stupid. "Y/N say something," he said as his Le Labo Another 13, Intoxicated you. "Juyeon I can't do this," you said snapping your eyes open and stepping backwards. "I’m pregnant, this isn't fair," you whispered. "And I'm your eldest daughter’s father, ignoring me isn't fair to me neither," he said stepping closer to you once more. "Their my partners Juyeon, you're just the guy I fucked at College,” You said watching his body slump to your words. "The guy you fucked at college? Is that all I was to you?" He said almost tumbling backwards as he took a step back. "Yes one that i happened to get pregnant from," you added as he almost collapsed into his chair. "I’m sorry Juyeon that how it was, that's how it is. Let's leave this all here, I'm sorry," you said pressing your hand to his shoulder as words failed him. Your heart burned alongside him, hurting him was like shards of glass stabbing you. But you could never risk crossing the blurred line that was tempting you to cross. With that you stood backwards and dashed from the mall cafe leaving Juyeon broken behind.

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Juyeon's words was still ringing through your ear when Changbin and Christopher returned from work. Looking at Changbin colouring with Jubin hurt you. Had he used the misunderstanding to get you pregnant. Juyeon's words of him trapping you weighed heavy. Was he right? Had he really wanted a baby to keep you and Jubin from running to Juyeon. Or had he really wanted a family of his own, a family where it was you three and two children. "You ok?'" Christopher said as Changbin took Jubin to bed after dinner. "Yeah I'm just tired," you said as you continued to dry up the plates. "You just seem really defeated tonight," he said as he locked his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder. "I think it's the hormones," you tried to excuse for your mood. "Well once we do this test you need to sleep," he said kissing your neck. Instead of melting your body tensed. Was he aware too of Changbin’s deceit? Had he kept the secret of Elle’s baby's paternity secret from you too? "What did you do today anyway?" He questioned as you turned to look at him ready to test him. "I went baby shopping, Juyeon and Elle was there," you said as his face softened. "Are you ok? They didn't say anything to upset you did they?" He said stroking your arm. "Not really," you said looking at him trying to work out if he was acting or really had no knowledge. "They were practically talking about hanging with Jeongin so much recently," you said as he looked puzzled your way. "Our Jeongin?" He asked as you nodded. "He’s been telling stuff about us to them," you threw out. "I've not even spoke to Jeongin for a while now, I've been busy working or with you and Jubin. Wait are you accusing me of something?" He said stepping back from you. "No just I don't like them knowing our business," you said as Christopher cupped your face. "Baby, I can promise you I have more important things to do in my life then send a report to your ex partner via my work colleague. But I will speak to him and find his sources so we can nip this in the bud," he said as you smiled his way almost crushing him in the hug. Of course Christopher knew nothing of this, he was the peacemaker, it wasn't his style.

"Are we ready?” Changbin said coming down the stairs waving the stick your way as you forced a slight smile his way. "Really you can put a better smile there hormonal hetty," he teased as you took the test from him. Sitting in the rest room finding the courage to start the test. Your mind was trying to claw what response you wanted. What if it was negative? Now Juyeon wasn't having a baby himself. Their would be nothing holding you back because he was the father of your child. Changbin and Christopher’s loyalty was that enough to hold you back? Walking back into the room with the stick you passed it to Changbin, you felt too sick and conflicted to look at the test. "What does it say?" Christopher said with impatience. Changbin’s silence hit the room, deep down the hope it was negative ran through you. "Binnie?" You whispered as you saw a drop fall from his eyes. It’s ok baby, we can try again," Christopher said before taking the test in his hand. Christopher closed his eyes in pain and opened to find yours, shaking his head you realised you wasn't pregnant. It was like it ignited something in you, all options were back on the table. But beneath that you saw the pain they both was going through. Resting your hand on Changbin shoulder you felt guilty. "I’m sorry I should have done the test before telling you guys I thought I was. I was just so convinced I was pregnant," you said into the silence. "Do you want me to leave you guys for a minute," you said feeling the atmosphere suffocating. "No, we're in this together," Christopher said coming round to hug you. "I’m ok he needs the comfort more," you said as he pulled you towards him. "You wanted this just as much," he said stroking your hair. How had things changed, their was a time when you fought hard to persuade Christopher to have a baby. Guilt was engulfing you having the comfort when you wasn't as heart broken as you thought you would be. "I need fresh air," you said pushing your self out of Christopher’s hold. "He's right we need to stick together as a family," Changbin said snapping his head to look your way with the pain breaking him on his face. "Binnie I'm so sorry," you said as he closed his eyes. "Don't say sorry like you did something wrong," he said in despair. "Look it's not like we lost a baby, their was just no baby their to start with, we should look at that fact," you said as Changbin scrunched his face in your direction. "It was a real baby to me, I made plans for that baby," he snapped making you step back. "Binnie," Christopher said tapping him on his shoulder. "I’m sorry Y/N, just I don't know, I'm just sorry," he said not even looking at you. "We had even told friends, and now," he said slamming his hands on the unit. "Like Jeongin," you whispered as Christopher snapped his attention towards you.

"You told him I was already pregnant didn't you?" You said feeling guilty at broading the subject so soon. "When did you see Jeongin?" Changbin said as his eyes widened your way. "She saw him earlier," Christopher lied for you as he looked almost angry his way. "You saw Jeongin today?" He said looking at you with something beneath his eyes that was more then sadness. "I already told you that but it's ok we're just have to tell him false alarm," Christopher said rubbing his hand along his collar bone. "Funny that, he's on holiday with Seongmin in Jeju island," he said looking at you. "Look does it matter who does and doesn't not know, look I got it wrong myself she didn't tell me he told her today," Christopher said panicking.

"Juyeon told me," you blurted out as his eyes widened. "You were with Juyeon?" He accused as you jumped from his tone. "Binnie calm down," Christopher said almost shaking him a little. "He was with Elle, baby clothes shopping that's all," you said as he pursed his lips. You could see his anger was conflicted. "What else are you keeping from me Y/N," he barked as Christopher slammed his own fist to the counter. "Look don't take your anger out on Y/N, their is no baby we need to come to terms with that. Y/N had to encounter her ex which was obviously going to happen we live in the same city. So I think we need to stop the wrong emotions escaping," He lectured. "It's not like we can't try again," he added more softer. "Right your right, I’ll get one of those ovulation tests, we can work it out right. Because if it's tonight we can try tonight," Changbin said with desperation. Juyeon was right he wanted to trap you to keep you. "Slow down, this is whiplash," you admitted as Changbin shook his head almost enraged with your words. "We said we wanted a baby have you changed your mind now you've seen Juyeon?" He accused as he groaned into the air. "Ask me this one question Changbin," you said feeling slightly brave to tackle him. "Go ahead," he replied almost softer. "Do you want a baby with me, or a baby to trap me because your scared of Juyeon," you asked. It wasn't the first time this questioned had been raised but never the term trapped. "Having our baby is trapping you?" He quizzed. "It is if you're doing this for the wrong reason," you added as he mockely chuckled. "One meeting with Juyeon and your throwing Christopher’s words. Funny that as your words convinced him this wasn't trapping. So why that word now? What else did he say?" Changbin accused you.

"I think we both know what he said," you admitted as Christopher’s head snapped to yours as Changbin went silent. "What did he say?" Christopher asked. "That he isn't Lulu's babies dad, Ji Changmin is, and it gets worse, he said you knew that five weeks ago. When you met him to tell him to back away from me because I was already pregnant," you accused as Changbin looked like he was silently holding his rage in.

“Binnie is she telling the truth?" "I didn't tell him she was pregnant I said she was hopefully pregnant I just never recorrected him when he misheard. But suppose the word Y/N pregnant in the same sentence would have got him all confused with feral bitterness. And for the record I never told him to stay away, again his mistruth words. But seems like he has you hanging on to his every word of his story," Changbin said with bitterness in his tone. "I didn't believe him, I actually told him to stay away from us," you said folding your arms his way. "You could have fool me," he spat out sarcastically as Christopher looked equally mad with him. "So you knew he wasn't the father yet you failed to tell us?" Christopher said arms folded his way. "What’s it to do with us?" Changbin shouted out. "He's Jubin's dad," you said in annoyance. "We're all Jubin’s dad if it's not his business about our life then his business isn't ours," he said looking angry that Christopher was attacking him. "Jubin is all of our business, you knew that news was up settling for Y/N so why didn't you put her straight," he said as Changbin laughed looking anywhere but him. "And why was she upset?" He accused looking your way. "What are you trying to say?" You said almost taking back with this direction of this conversation. "Do you think she would have agreed to having a baby with us if Juyeon hadn't got Elle pregnant," he spat out.

"So you admit it you trapped her?" Christopher accused as you almost felt ready to faint from his words. "It's only trapped if she truly didn't want us,” He stated as his eyes took yours. "This is too much for me I can't do this I'm out," you spat out not wanting to continue the inquisition Changbin was suddenly spilling. "Run off to him, tell him the good news that theirs no baby," Changbin mocked as you turned to him. "I don't want to be around any of you," you shouted out as you stormed from the house.

---------------------------🔺--------------------------

Kevin's phone was turned off and Hakyeons left ringing. You really needed them right now as you couldn't go back to the house. Ringing Hyunjae he sounded drunk and wasn't making much sense. Ringing a number you hadn't in ages you rang Younghoon. He was just on his way out with Hwall and Chanhee to the club. When he offered you to join them, you jumped at that invitation. It had been years since you had been out with them. All night they had tried to quiz you but you gave them nothing but sinking shots after shots. Taking them on the dance floor and letting the night take your worries away. But when you almost fell into someone’s arms you never imagined the disgust on their face seeing you would be Sunwoo.

"Oh for fuck Sake it's you," he said rolling his eyes as Hwall threw his arms around you. "Mate eyes off she's ours," he said warning Sunwoo off. "I don't know why I'm not surprised three men after you and theirs still more," he said looking around to see Chanhee and Younghoon who had joined you. "Sunwoo, Juyeon's scummy mate who fucked me over at every opportunity. These are mine and Kevin's mates," you added knowing your words was slurring slightly. "Well Juyeon's scummy mate do one," Chanhee said with his eyes fierce at Sunwoo who almost died of laughter. "Does Changbin and Christopher know your out her plastered?" He quizzed with a raised eye. "No, and I don't care," you said falling into his hold again as he went to catch you. "Ahh you hate me but you caught me," you giggled as Sunwoo rolled his eyes as he stood you on your feet. "I don't hate you, I can't stand you," he said widening his eyes. "Your drunk you should go home or get one of these to take you," he said as Hwall came to hold you away from him. "Take her home mate," he added as Hwall laughed. "Go get fucked we're getting wasted tonight," he spat out as Sunwoo rolled his eyes. Hwall dragged you back to your table as they continued to help you get drunk and forget all your problems.

----------------------------🔺-------------------------

Juyeon’s POV

You were wrapped in a blanket letting tears still fall from Y/N’s words earlier. Lulu had tried to convince you that her words was lies to stop herself doing something stupid. But the way the words felt when she stung them your way, crippled you that you feared any hope of them being wrong. Maybe she was right, even though you wanted to hurt Changbin in every way. You loved Y/N enough to let her have her dreams and right now having a baby with them was her life. Minus the father of Jubin you had no place in her life. You wondered in time would you ever be comfortable to be around each other even if it was just for your daughter's sake. You was just about to settle to sleep when the phone rang. "What's up I'm just off to bed?” you asked hearing the loud noise of music in the background. You could barely hear his words but Y/N’s name mentioned had you intrigued. "Sunwoo mate text me I can hardly hear you," you said as the phone hanged off.

Y/N's here and she's very drunk. Her mates are not discouraging her.

You sure she's pregnant?

She had told you herself she was pregnant why was she drinking herself into the oblivion. Their was no way she would risk harming her baby, something had obviously happened.

"I’m on my way ping me the club you're at," you replied.

The journey there felt like it was taking forever. What had happened for Y/N to become such a state. Had she lost her baby since you met this afternoon? You hoped your words was the reason for her pain. Maybe you should have kept that Changbin knew from her to save her anguish. Your fear was founded finding her top half sloped over the table. "Another one baby," the guy next to her said placing her another shot. Before she could take it you took it as she groaned. "Sunwoo for fuck sake do one," she groaned as Sunwoo made his way to you. "I will make sure to pass the message on to him," you said as her head shot up to look at you. "Juyeon," she whispered in pain. "The one and only," you added as Sunwoo’s hand fell to your shoulder. "Get her home mate," he said as she chuckled. "I have no home," she chuckled throwing her head to the table winching when it impacts. "Y/N for fuck sake come on come back to mine," you said trying to lift her head back up. "Mate leave her alone we know who you are," her friend spat out as you rolled your eyes. "Yeah sure you do, but I couldn't care less. She's pregnant and drunk and you're enabling her," you spat out. "Wait she's what," the other one choked out. "Y/N what the fuck, what are you doing?" They spat out with equal concern. "It's ok their is no baby now," she said before looking up to you as your heart hurt. "Aren't you happy now?" She slurred broken as you looked at Sunwoo before her again. "Baby I'm not happy when your hurting," you said throwing the loose hairs behind her ears. "Let's get you somewhere safer then here, this isn't where you should be," you said as the taller of the three stood by your side. "It's ok we're take her back home," he said as you almost passed out on his volume of alcohol off his breath. "Mate you can't even walk let alone drive her," you said before going on your knee to Y/N’s level. "Do you want me to ring Changbin and Christopher. Im sure they will want to be with you to support you right now," you said brushing your hands through her hair as she closed her eyes. "You were right Juyeon," she said barely audible. Just that one sentence made you aware she wasn't here because she lost her child, she was here because she had lost herself too. "Come on come home to mine, I promise you I won't do anything but make sure you sleep," you said as she nodded on the table. "I will look after her I promise," you said to her friends as they nodded silently as you dragged her out. Her body so fragile under your hold.

Driving her and Sunwoo back to yours to help her get up the stairs you both placed her into your bed. You stood there silently watching her sleep. "So she lost the baby then?" Sunwoo asked as you nodded. "Yeah it seems so, but I think something else happened," you said as she fidgeted. "Like what?" He asked as you went over the words from earlier. "I think she found out Changbin had played her as a surrogate," you said feeling the pain she must feel now she knew he had trapped her. "What does this mean for you?" Sunwoo asked as you smiled her way. "It would be good to think maybe I could get a step closer to the family I lost. But I don't want them at this cost, not at the cost of her child," you said feeling sadness on her behalf. "So when she's sobered up I will take her to theirs and try fix this up," you said as Sunwoo placed his hand on your shoulder. "Stop holding on to the fear that you be accused of being a player. You don't have to be so serious now you just need a healthy balance," Sunwoo said as you chuckled. "Using a miscarriage to snare my ex girlfriend isn't the answer Sunwoo," you said as he rolled his eyes. "Not now later on, Because it looks like the beginning of her downfall with them," Sunwoo said turning his back to Y/N to face you. "How long will she crash and burns from that relationship till you admit your worthy of her," he said before walking out the room to go home.

---------------------🔺-----------------

You barely slept on the sofa worrying about her and how to support her with her loss. Noticing it was 8am you made your way to make her a coffee and some egg rolls. Walking into the room you placed it next to her. Like the smell woke her eyes strained as it took you in. "Why am I here?" She said sitting up looking confused. "We didn't?" She asked as you laughed her way. "Having sex with women who’s too drunk to consent isn't my thing," you said sitting on the bed. "You were drunk Sunwoo found you called me. You refused to go home so I brought you here," you said passing her some paracetamol. "I'm sorry about the baby," you added as she threw her head back to swallow her medicine. "I wasn't even pregnant," she admitted as you tilted your head baffled with her words.

"We were trying, i mistakingly thought I was, turns out I wasn't," she admitted as your heart lifted slightly from the prospect of the pain she didn't have had to endure. "I'm still sorry it didn't work out this time," you said passing her the coffee. "Their won't be another time," she admitted before taking a sip and tsssking from the temperture. "Because he admitted he wanted you pregnant to trap you?" You asked. "That's what you said last night," you added before she could try and deny as she breathed in deeply showing the pain. "I shouldn't have said that it's unfair of him," she said passing you the coffee back clearly too hot for her. "But you did so you can't take it back," you said as you passed her the egg roll. "If I go home he will expect us to try again," she admitted as your heart felt a little hopeful. "You don't want that?" You asked as she shook her head. "Can I ask why? You clearly wanted to try in the first place," you asked as she closed her eyes contemplating whenever to continue. "Let's say things have slightly changed," she winced as you felt a little brave to keep pushing. "Because then your ex boyfriend was having a baby with his mistress, and now you know their not," you said watching her face get torn with how to respond. "I don't know?" She replied like she didn't want to say those words. "Y/N if their was no Changbin and Christopher would you want me?" You asked as her eyes closed. "But they do exist," she groaned passing her plate to you with the food untouched. "Humour me Y/N," you pleaded wanting to know how she truly felt.

"Yes, but they do exist so nothing changes. I have to go back to them," she added as you inwardly felt like shaking her. It was clear she was with them due to loyalty because they had been their for Jubin. Though you was happy she had their support. It was only needed because she feared you wouldn't want this life with her. "Your going to go back to people your not in love with," you quieted as she looked slightly annoyed. "I do love them though," she proclaimed as you deadpanned her. "I know you know the different with love and in love. Y/N I know your in love with me," you said hopeful. "Juyeon, we can't ever be together, it's not fair on them," she said as her hands reached to yours. "What's not fair to them is lying to them making them believe your crazy about them when you're not," you said as she chewed on her bottom lip. "Me and you both know deep down it's Jubin they want not you. Do you think I would be cruel to take Jubin away from them. What if their was a way they could have her too and allow you to catch your dreams," you said lacing your fingers with hers. "And you're my dream are you?" She said cockily. "I know I am, I know you dream of the family life we can have together," you said with confidence brimming through you. You knew you should feel guilt towards the guys who had been your daughter saviour. But Changbin’s actions and Sunwoo’s words was heavily on your mind. "Our daughter wants everyone to be happy and right now two people aren't and two people are living a lie," you said cupping her face. "I don't know if I can destroy the family for it to be fixed," she whispers almost conflicted. You feel the electricity between you turn up a notch. She's not convincing herself, she's trying to convince she can be loyal. "Sometimes we have to do scary things, but we both know it will be worth it when things are how it should be," you said brushing your thumb along her bottom lip. "I know your scared of the past, but surely I've shown you that things are different now. We're not kids no more," you added as you felt herself digest your words. "I've only ever loved you, since you fell into my arms. The world was black when you ran away," you whispered as she looked lost in your eyes.

You knew you shouldn't but taking sunwoo's words you pressed your lips to hers. You had expected her to stop or freeze against you. But instead she welcomed you as her mouth didn't waste a second working alongside your own. Tongues sliding against each other, you felt her desperation when her hands fell to the hem of your vest. Things was moving very fast, your dreams of reunited with her was at the clasp. You moved carefully scared to slip up this special moment. Not wanting her to realise her relationship with them was in danger of falling apart.

Full Masterlist

Player in Denial

Next part due to be published next month

[the-crow-binary]

Dracula and Lisa ☕️

OH BOY OH BOY INTERACTION LETS GO OK SO

I actually have two ways of looking at their relationship: One is "if Lisa is Elisabetha's reincarnation" (wich hasn't been confirmed canonically as far as i'm aware ?), the other being, obviously, is Lisa is her own person and not Elisabetha's reincarnation. in both scenarios she pegs Dracula

So to start with the first one:

Love them, they're cute, there's something poetic about Mathias' wife coming back for round 2 as Drac's wife. It's pretty heartwarming, ESPECIALLY considering Lisa brought Dracula's humanity back just by... being her. I don't think she tried anything special. I see it more as something like a "beauty and the beast" kinda story, where the beauty didn't try to change the beast (at least, not actively), but her personnality was so charming that it brought back to life what had died centuries ago in the beast, and encouraged him to be better. And this change is probably what charmed Lisa too, if we consider that she has no memory of her past life (maybe a few flashbacks here and there ?). The only problem is that Dracula changed for HER, not for himself nor anyone else. So, of course, when she died... he had no reason to continue on the right path. He couldn't see any reason, at least, because of his grief and the traumatic memories of losing his first wife.

But yeah, in this version, i see them having a pretty wholesome relationship. ON THE OTHER HAND...

In the context of Lisa NOT being Elisabetha, MAN, HOW THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT OKAY. I mean from a story perspective, it's very interesting, BUT OTHERWISE, LISA, MY GIRL, YOU DESERVE BETTER-

Do I need to explain how toxic it is for Dracula to get in a relationship with a woman just because she reminds him of HIS DEAD EX ?? Going out with someone just because they look like your ex IS ALREADY BAD ENOUGH I MEAN OERIGHSERLGKNESRMLKGN YOU NEED TO GET OVER YOUR LOSS FIRST ?? THE WOMAN ISN'T A REPLACEMENT, SHE'S NOT SOME OBJECT YOU CAN PROJECT ON Y'KNOW ??

Ok hold on i'll explain in a little bit more details:

So, in this context, after 400 years or so, Dracula is STILL not over Elisabetha. Can't really blame him, she's like, the whole reason why he turned into a vampire in the first place... But then Lisa appears, and Dracula immediately sees Elisabetha in her. She's not her, but in Dracula's mind, it's the same thing. He cannot see her as someone else, as her very own person, and say (probably think) he is in love with her, when truly, he's in love with the illusion of his dead wife. And clearly, he'll treat her right ! This "restoring his humanity" thing is still very true, but it's not because of Lisa being herself. It's because she looks like Elisabetha (both in body and mind. I mean we don't know much about Elisabetha but i like to think she was a very smart, kindhearted woman as well), and Dracula has never been able to truly differentiate the two, wich isn't healthy for ANY of them. I can even picture Dracula slipping up and directly calling her Elisabetha at one point, when he was very sleepy (not even remembering it afterwards). Lisa definitely knew, but delt with it anyway, because she knew she had a "good" effect on him (and we know she was ready to sacrifice herself for the "greater good"). It's thanks to her that Dracula calmed down for a few years. Plus, i do think she loved him sincerely, to the bitter end... Dracula did too, in his own twisted way (like he did LEON but that's another story for another day)

But if there's something that both version shares is: Dracula... is SO BAD AT DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF HIS LOVED ONES. HE'S- HE SUCKS AT BEING MENTALLY AND EMOTIONNALLY STABLE. And not JUST THAT, but he also seems to be VERY emotionnally dependent on Elisabetha and Lisa. The whole "he's ready to destroy the world for his lover" is DEFINITELY NOT AS ROMANTIC AS SOME PEOPLE THINK. IT'S TERRIBLE. THE MAN IS INCAPABLE OF MOVING ON NO MATTER HOW MANY CENTURIES PASSES- GUYS IT'S BAD. OUR MAN IS NOT OKAY. And i find it SO GOOD AND INTERESTING. The big bad of Castlevania, the man, no, the MONSTER everyone fears, responsible for LOTS and LOTS of innocent deaths, many curses, even went as far as re-creating the RAREST and most POWERFUL of stones and making a deal with Death itself to steal a powerful vampire soul (consciously provoking the death of his best friend's betrothed in the process)... his lover die and he is CRUSHED. DESTROYED. RUINED. HE CAN'T EVEN THINK NOR CARE ABOUT HOW BAD HE'S HURTING HIS OWN SON. OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. IT'S JUST PURE HATRED TO COVER THE INTENSE GRIEF. It's honestly tragic. And i LOVE IT so much... had Lisa decided to be a therapist instead of a doctor, maybe he wouldn't have turned the way he did lol

ANYWAY... i think about Drac' a lot. Less about Lisa/Elisabetha ngl but i can't think about the Dark Lord's sentimental shortcoming without thinking about them.

[jerzwriter]

R9: Tell me about a character who doesn't like your character. Why don't they like them?

For as many of them as you want to do 😀

OMFG Ren! I'm looking through asks, and how did I miss this one! This is so entirely fun! (And I may share with some others... )

OK...I think I'll stick with both pairings from Open Heart 🤭 (Apologize in advance; this got long... thanks to the 1 person who may read this! lol)

Tobias / Casey-land

Casey: In general, she tries to be friendly, and she has the ability to tell someone to fuck off and make them walk away smiling after she has, so most people tend to like her. But everyone has their enemies out there don't we know that shit here on Tumblr... 🍵 and Casey's no exception.

The first one that comes to mind is Landry - he detests that she went on to be so successful and that she is held in such high esteem by his idol, Ethan. Then, he goes to Kenmore and tries sucking up to Tobias, and ho and behold, Casey ends up being the love of his life. While I don't HC the same level of bitterness between Landry/MC that others do, and I imagine that if he sees her, he tries to be polite and professional (and she does the same). But deep down, he loathes her. His entitlement can't let him past the fact that he feels she is where he deserves to be.

For a brief period of time, Tobias's brother Jordan (M!OC) doesn't like her. He was a little concerned that Casey was a gold digger, but that was just some projection on his part, and they did makeup pretty quickly when he realized he was being a putz.

Her ex-girlfriend Jess's wife (still working on her name!) wasn't very fond of her initially. It was based on envy and differing personalities. Casey & Jess's split was situational, not necessarily anything either woman wanted, and they remained good friends for life. So initially, she felt a bit threatened by her. After realizing that wasn't anything to worry about, she warmed to Casey a little. But where Casey tends to be light-hearted and fun, Jess's Mrs. is a bit more professional and off-standish. She tolerates Casey but often has an "I don't see what you ever saw in her" attitude. Fortunately, they don't see each other much lol .

Lastly... a whole lot of Tobias's former conquests dislike her... it's the "What does she have that I didn't have" attitude (babes, the list is long lol). But these people are inconsequential in their lives.

Tobias: Well, when he came into Casey's life, Ethan would be the top contender. The two of them had their shared history/rivalry, and after their falling out, Ethan was decidedly not a fan. When Tobias started dating Casey after Casey broke up with Ethan yeah, Dr. Ramsey was not pleased. But after the chemical attack, they were able to bridge their differences and end up becoming good friends again.

Several of his relatives on his late father's side of the family. Tobias's Dad died when he was in Med School, and while not fully estranged, they were not on the best of terms when he died (something Tobias struggles with for the rest of his life.) To hear this group of relatives talk, that is the reason, but that's bullshit. For what it's worth, these are the family members his father didn't get on well with either. Truth is, they tend to be racist and always looked at Tobias and his brother as lesser than them (one of the reasons his father disliked them). They're not too fond of Casey, who has put them in their place on more than one occasion (so they don't like her either lol).

Several of his exes... but... only one (maybe two?) that he was remotely serious with. He was really a dick to his college girlfriend, Kara, who went on to be a prominent lawyer in DC, and while she doesn't think of him often, she never looks at him favorably. After the Hopkin's mess, his ex (and Ethan's ex) Vincenza really didn't think highly of either of them, but in time she forgave them both in time. His ex-long-term-situationship Audrey really disliked him for a while after he began dating Casey... as did a bevy of others who had hoped for more, but he swore that was never going to be his life... and now there he was. So there was some bitterness and a lot of talking shit, but they weren't much of an issue. (And Audrey eventually came around. lol)

Ethan / Kaycee land:

Kaycee: Her situation with Landry is pretty much the same as Casey's above, though I feel like there is a little less detesting on Landry's part. Why? Because he still idolized Ethan, and in some way, I think he figured if she was with Ethan, she couldn't have been that bad. Of course, Ethan thought he was a dick, but that didn't matter lol

I'm sure there are some staff at Edenbrook who dislike her because they are envious of her position and/or relationship with Ethan, but they tend to keep that to themselves because they don't want to deal with Ethan's ire.

I don't think many dislike Kaycee, but I think she is more low-key (compared to Casey) and flies below a lot of people's radar. Her circle is smaller, so there may not be as many who are crazy about her, but the opposite is also true. There are fewer who actively dislike her.

Ethan: While I do HC that Ethan softens a bit because, let's face it, he was an asshole when we met him, he is still a bit short and acerbic, and that really rubs some people the wrong way. Again, when it comes to work, many may not let that be known.

I HC him to have at least one very "Seinfeld/Newman-like" relationship with a patron at Donahue's and at least one neighbor. They've rubbed each other the wrong way for over a decade, and their very existence irritates the other, but they're not close so that limits the damage here. (PS, I HC that the neighbor adores Kaycee, which just makes the "thing" between them and Ethan worse, lol.)

Declan. Declan will forever hate Ethan, and Ethan will forever hate Declan. That will never, ever change.

Several Board Members. They respect him and look at him as a necessary burden because of his skill and what he brings to the hospital, but they're not at all fond of him as a person, and the feeling is very, very mutual.

I think I've blabbed enough, but this was seriously fun! Thanks, Ren, and sorry for the seriously long delay in answering.

[direwombat]

🍎 🍋 🍒 (jakeli but also in general) 🥥 for syb 😈

a;lfda;sdfk thank you liz <3 <3 <3 answers under the cut for obvs reasons

🍎 Favorite type, looks and personality wise? Please specify the trait.

a very funny question considering *gestures to jacob and eli*

looks wise. apparently her taste in men leans more towards the "rugged mountain man" look. strong bodies, thick facial hair, tired eyes. her taste in women veers more on the femme-presenting side. she likes feeling strong and useful...protective. she's a wife guy. few things would make her happier than providing for another woman <3

but her tastes really don't matter because if you're clever and able to challenge her in some way, then odds are she'll be dtf. good banter is one of the fastest ways to get her to invite you to bed :)

🍋 Deep and slow? Hard and fast? What’s your character’s preference?

assuming she's the one being penetrated? Hard and deep. if she can't feel it or isn't walking funny the morning after then it wasn't enough. she likes the feeling of a cock/strap grinding deep inside her as well as thrusts so hard that they make her teeth rattle. bonus points if it's so hard and deep that all she can do is hang on to something for deer life as she gets mercilessly plowed.

assuming she's the one doing the penetrating? she leans more on the deep and slow side. she likes making her partners feel good and taking her time with them. she's a tease when she's on top and likes it when she's able to get her partner squirming and/or bucking against her to get her to go faster.

🍒 Would your character join a threesome if given a chance?

a;flkjasdf well considering she's part of two ot3s (jakesybeli and kitsybjake) she definitely isn't opposed to threesomes or polyamory. but it has to happen kind of naturally. she's incredibly loyal to her partners (assuming they've mutually agreed on pursuing a relationship), and when she was single, she wasn't exactly looking to be someone's third.

but with kit and jacob? well...she has the pre-established working relationship with (and lowkey crush) on kit, and when both kit and jacob get in cahoots and they both focus their attention on her...well...as if she really stood a chance lmao

and with eli and jacob? well, it's more the boys' history together that really makes it a full triangle of an ot3. i mean. a lot of it really is eli and jacob trying to one-up each other for syb's affection (eli genuinely trying while jacob (still trying) is more like 'haha ok honey i'll let you have some fun, but you are mine'). they're both trying to win her over while also engaging in some major "bitter exes with benefits" behavior <3

🥥 Does your character prefer condoms or bareback?

i mean....when having sex with anyone who had a penis, historically she has preferred they use a condom. she didn't want to get pregnant while earning barely enough to support her already existing family (she literally couldn't afford to have another mouth to feed). eventually she got on the pill but even after that she preferred condom usage because she did occasionally hook up with strangers for one-night-stands and didn't want to run the risk of getting an STI while between her combat tours.

but then she was lightly blown up and shrapnel just shredded her uterus and doctors told her she was infertile. she would have kept her condom preference (just because that's what she's used to) but she was having a dry spell after being discharged and then the reaping happened and she just went "well...might as well engage in risky behavior since i don't expect to survive this."

and considering...well...considering the cult is a "no-sex" one (according to joseph anyway) it's not like jacob had protection on hand when she came to him at the end of her Bad Day(TM). so they did it raw and she got to know what it feels like to have someone cum inside her and it gets her eyes rolling back. i really don't think the two of them ever use protection.

also just to branch this answer out even more (lmao whoops) but in the werewolf au, once she and eli decide to go steady, they get tested, and when they both show each other that they're clean, they start raw-dogging it.

so...tldr: on a practical level, syb prefers protection. on a purely physical enjoyment level....girl loves it raw.

[the-black-bulls]

Ooo for the ask game; 1, 6, 9, and 22 for Gauche please 🥰?

Send a character + one or more of these question!

Thank you Lyra! I enjoy Gauche asks, he's fun to ramble about.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Ah, Gauche. See the first thing that catches my attention about his character is his questionable morality - like, it's refreshing for once that someone from the good cast is just that cruel and selfish and plain despisable. I mentally clapped my hands when he just dipped with his sister leaving kids and old nun and fellow teammate behind because yes, yes, give me a guy who's willing to do that without any sugarcaoting - sure, his backstory was revealed right after with him running back anyway, but that moment was so satisfying for me as I've been tired of this series and it's obsession with idealistic people and their utopian visions.

That being said, it's Theresa flippin' Rapuel that made me like him in the first place, especially when it was her being injuried that cracked up this loser and made him go "ok I'll go and help them but bitch you better be alive when I'm back."

I can't personally think of an aspect of his character that I dislike in the manga, but I've always been disappointed with the direction of his character following his core arc because you can't just show me him bonding with Finral in one arc and stop it at that. Not big fan of his dynamic with Gordon and Grey, either, but I don't dislike it, I just think his screentime leaves much to be desired and part of it is due to him being lumped with them a lot.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

We're both introverts-by-choice with really bad tempers who react explosively and out of control when provoked or triggered, which in my case is partly a result of growing up raising my own siblings as a teen due to unfortune life circumstances that left me spiteful, bitter, and paranoid for the better part of my adolescence. I'm doing much better nowadays, though.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

His boring ass ain't getting anywhere near my room 💀

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

I like reading fics that focus on Gauche without including Grey and vice versa, the ship itself is wholesome, but I grow bored of seeing them lumped together in the majority of their content. There's a lot more of them than each other, and it's especially true with Gauche who has a lot of interesting things going on with him - ex-noble, ex-convict, previous elf host, mirror world/tool - and unique bonds he's shared with other characters, like Theresa, or can potentially develop with like-minded characters, like Zora.

My biggest turnoff that can pass to all the Black Bulls is when any of them is written as your typical X walking trope who repeats the same boring X line and X gag throughout the fic (that usually doesn't focus on them as they're just in the background). Shit is boring, uncreative, and disheartening. No, nope, I'm out. For someothing more Gauche-specific is when he's written extremely one-note and Marie-minded even in a fic that is focused on him, it just made me realize how little people try to understand his character :(

[drbtinglecannon]

Hi, friend! 💖 I hope things have been looking a little brighter for you, and if not, I'm manifesting it for you!

Now, for the ships ask game... Ikesoren and Raeda? 👀

You're always so sweet ;__; the cats have been really good lately so that's been a positive, thanks for checking in!!!

Ikesoren & Raeda my beloved. They both mean so much to me

Ikesoren

1. What made you ship it?

Ok so funny story I actually unknowingly played RD before PoR (one of my older brothers bought it for another older brother so we didn't realize it was a sequel at first), so I had only the sequel's dynamic to go off of, and RD didn't have the in depth support system that PoR does. I did end up going back to play PoR right after beating RD and I think through the process of playing both games in order to do all the bonus shit to get Ike & Soren's secret ending conversation I was ride or die by that point. When I played RD the first time almost every support I paired up was based on aesthetic alone since there weren't actual convos & you could literally pair up anyone -- it was fucking lawless haha. Since I didn't have the previous knowledge of who had what rapports I got a TON of the pairs I made wrong based on what friendships/relationships I ended up liking best after playing PoR hahah! Ikesoren was unfortunately one of them

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Upon first glance you'd think they'd be an 'opposites attract' kinda dynamic but they're actually the same stone-faced smartass. I also love how Ike can't get an ending with a woman, it's either Soren or Ranulf, like the Tellius games really got an unequivocally gay Lord

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't really know what the popular opinions are, but based on fanart & fic I can recall seeing over the last decade or so, I don't like when Soren is portrayed as timid or shy. Like Soren's a bit of a bastard, even to Ike, he's not gonna get all 😳 around him, the neutral look of displeasure is his default expression even with the love of his life haha

Raeda

1. What made you ship it?

The second we saw Raine and could tell that was the kid Eda had her arms linked with from that S1 photo I was like "👀 ok ok finally learn that history!" Then Eda's smirk as she taunts "how are you supposed to be HeAd BaRd with stage freight?" I was like "omg snark, there's some bitterness but that's such a fond smile on her face" and then when they reunited? I was gone. By the time we saw the duet scene I was ride or die for Raeda. I genuinely believe we'll get a wedding montage at the end of W&D, or at least a kiss. Those two are extremely important to me

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

They hit every note! They're childhood friends, they were immediate best friends, they're equally chaotic despite appearances, they're exes, they've been carrying the torch for each other SINCE they broke up like 20yrs ago, they're both blushing messes around each other, the mutual pining, the fact they're older & grayer but still undeniably smitten with each other, they have their own flower that means "deception and graciousness" WHICH PERFECTLY SUITS THEM, Eda's a harpy & Raine's a monsterfucker! They just! Really mean a lot to me, getting to see old gray queer love combined with the chance to repair old relationships

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't really vibe with art that makes Raine look or dress a lot more femme than they present in the show or in Dana's art.

[zaxal]

🤯✨🤲💞

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

all of them no but genuinely, like, slice-of-life, coffee shop-like aus, curtains fic, etc -- i am not good at making everyday things interesting. it's probably why i end up writing a lot of angst; if i'm deep in a character's feelings, i don't have to reveal how shallow my perception of the Real World is. a lot of my longfic suffers between like, actual Events Occurring. the pace drags; the energy vanishes. i try to take a quiet moment and it just... rarely works. but the stories need those so i keep plugging away hoping i'll be a real boy eventually!

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

weh. ok um. i think i write complicated characters and complicated relationships really well. i don't mean like the Problematic Ones-complicated, but even when i was mainly writing shassie or shelnard. i took what canon gave me and expanded my personal understandings of those characters (admittedly with help from some dear friends c: ily) that made actually writing them give more depth to relationships that have the potential to be p shallow.

even when i'm deep in an au, i know where the strings are to pull to keep a character true to themselves, which makes the changes in their personalities/experiences hit harder because you can see the shape of the canon character shining through.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

ye, here's a preview of chapter 2 of My Lady of the Letters

In the late 18th century, buried in the depths of a Budapesti newspaper, there appeared a personal advertisement which, roughly translated, read:

“Foreign woman seeks diverting company with whom to discuss pleasures both grand and mundane. Good humor a must; knowledge of the arts preferred. Men seeking eventual matrimony should look elsewhere.”

For the first time since Crowley’s temporary relocation to a miserable, wintry Hungary, a sharp laugh broke through the frigid sneer that had taken up near-permanent residence on her face. She forgot for a moment about the snow that came up to her knees and the small, ultimately-pointless task Hell had given her, tracing her thumb under that last sentence. It spoke of jaded experience and bitter annoyance, each letter chosen carefully and paid for to drive off meddlesome men who looked to make a wife out of any woman who hadn’t yet turned them down.

It tickled at the back of her mind over the next few days. Crowley didn’t make a habit out of making casual human acquaintances, but why not this once? She was easygoing for a demon, and she knew more about art than any human alive. She certainly wasn’t going to bother the poor girl about marriage. Why not make the months she’d spend in Budapest a little more interesting?

Crowley wrote a letter, and when she sent it off, she knew that all other responses would be lost in the post.

💞 Who's your comfort character?

oh, aziraphale. i just think he's neat :3

tho if you go back through my fandom backlog, you can def pick out that there's one in each fandom bc they're the ones i'm meanest to skdfjksdd lassie, leonard hofstadter, michael bluth (i just typed michael butch someone end my entire life), chris argent, quentin coldwater, tomas ortega; if i whump them and/or bully them, it is bc i am spiritually holding them like a teddybear.

thank you!!!

[madrone33]

So here's my thoughts on netflix atla ep 2! It was... hmmmm. Zuko was the best part imo.

Heads up; spoilers obviously. But also I'm a huge fan of the original, so I'm heavily biased and also literally cannot not compare them. This is my opinion only, and if yours is different that's completely fine! I just wrote this out mainly for me to get my thoughts in order, and posted it for fun. Anyway! Here's my extremely long rambling:

The Northern Water Tribe attack warning - it’s unnecessary. They’d already need to go there to get Aang and Katara a waterbending master. There’s no need to take away from the sudden shocking attack just to add a deadline they don’t need. They have Sozin’s Comet for a deadline. If they’re even going to add that. Honestly can’t tell at this point.

Kyoshi - her showing up and possessing Aang takes away from Roku being the first show of Avatar State power. And it being possible from any shrine instead of needing the Winter Solstice? Huh. Also, she’s really harsh and mean; in the cartoon she’s more just stoic and blunt? Is she supposed to be a stand in for the mentor role instead of Roku? Don’t see why they made Kyoshi throw down this episode either; story wise, Kyoshi Island... isn’t all that major. Why did they choose here in this minor skirmish to showcase the power of the Avatar? It’s seriously overkill.

Zhao - not assholeish enough, just kinda smarmy. Where’s him smugly shoving in Zuko’s face the fact that his father doesn’t want him? I miss feeling like I want him to drop dead. Also, his sideburns aren't big enough lmao. Have him swap with Lieutenant Jee.

Zuko - really getting the teenage angst vibes here and I love it. Zuko is my favourite character so far. Also wow, he’s actually fairly emotionally aware. And pretty reasonable? Like, they're really toning down how much of a jerk he was in the original, huh?

(I kinda knew they'd do this tbh. Adaptation writers have this Thing where they see what the fans like, and then misunderstand why the fans like it. We like Zuko because he has an amazing redemption arc, goes through shitTM, and ultimately becomes a badass good guy. But his arc was only so great because we saw how very low he started. Zuko was an asshole for most of the show. Like seriously, he was not a nice person in s1 and s2 and most of s3. He was angry and bitter and callous, and there were only a few times where his better side shined through to give us a glimpse of the kind of person he could be. So when he embraces that side, and fully turns his back on his abusive father, we are right there with him, seeing him at his lowest point, and watching him rise higher than anyone thought possible. If he starts out more mellow, less of a trashfire little shit, almost a nice person, then he can't rise to such great heights. And that's a shame.)

Aang’s fear - I don’t like him being so powerful the monks were scared of him. As a kid, he’s supposed to have a peaceful, happy life; that’s why getting all that abruptly shattered and ripped away hurts so much. And his fear of the Avatar State would be valid - except that he calmed himself down last episode without anyone’s help?? He seemed to be able to control the Avatar State just fine, so there is no problem, and thus, no reason for his fear.

Captured by Kyoshi Warriors - it's weird that Aang airbended when they were ambushed and they had zero reaction, but it was him airbending that proved he was the Avatar in the cartoon. I also don’t like the deus ex machina statue.

Ozai - face reveal?? I like his voice. But for the love of god, stop putting the firelords on the same step as everyone else!! He should be on his throne, behind the fire, in shadow, with a low-up camera angle- He’s a dramatic ass bitch, stop taking away from his dominance displays!

Unagi - Kyoshi stopping the attack means no Unagi, and I am sad. Idk maybe they didn’t want to bother with the cgi? But they did Kysohi? Ok… Oh also, isn’t the Unagi the thing that kept most outsiders away? Weird that they’d not even mention it.

Commander - guys stop feeding Zhao’s ego. Let Uncle Iroh subtly put him down by calling him a Lieutenant.

Sokka and Suki - I don’t like it. It was cute in some scenes maybe, but wayyy too forced. By taking away Sokka’s sexism, they’ve taken away the main rift between Suki and Sokka as well as the reason for them making up. Sokka swallowing his pride and humbly asking for lessons is the only reason Suki gives him a second glance, and then she gets to know and respect him. They didn’t just see each other and have some innate attraction! Also she gave him one (1) kiss on the cheek, because it was at most a crush and mutual respect at this point, not some big thing! I would’ve bought it if he’d fought her at the statue and she’d taken him out and he was impressed and smitten and then tried to awkwardly fumblingly get to know her - but that’s not what happened! I’m pretty sure she was holding Katara at that point. There’s no reason for them to notice each other. Is it seriously just because they’re hot?? Come on guys! You’re better than this! Sorry. Rant over.

Gran Gran - ah. She’s back as the exposition master I see. Have a scene where her grandkids try to go off and save the random kid they found, get busted, brace for anger, only to receive her support and love as she tells them how proud she is and how scared? Nah, just have a voice over, it’ll have about the same emotional impact, I’m sure. Well, I guess that’s one way to skip the Waterbending Scroll episode.

Katara - so this is a trend is it? She’s just- not gonna get mad at the things she should be getting mad at. She didn’t break the iceberg from anger, and she doesn’t feel bitter and jealous of Aang being a bending prodigy. O-kayyy. (Because imo her jealousy was less ‘oh he’s getting this faster than me’ and more ‘omfg I am the last waterbender in the south and this is MY culture and if I’m failing to learn this then that’s one more thing the fire nation has taken from me and would you please stop rubbing in my face how much better you are-) Yeah, so what does this mean for Imprisoned and Jet?

Suki’s mum - by making Suki’s mum the hard, untrusting person, and making Suki the more trusting hopeful one, it takes away a big part of Suki’s character; she’s a warrior that was born, and grew up, shaped by the war. She and her people were so untrusting of outsiders and the danger they posed that they would throw them to a sea monster to get eaten alive rather than trust. And it’s Aang and Sokka that inspires Suki to change that way of thinking. By taking away her initial distrust, it’s taken away her ability to change. Just like Sokka, less character flaws means less character development.

Katara standing right there so that Zuko looks up and spots her - like Katara, come on! At least try to be subtle! This is the Last Agni Kai all over again I swear-

Momo - he’s… hmm uh yeah. Idk. I don’t like. Sorry.

Suki’s facepaint - ok ok, sure, they couldn’t trust the audience to be able to point her out with her facepaint on so they made her take it off, but like- the whole point of the facepaint is so no one stands out and gets targeted? And now? She stands out??

Sokka doesn’t wear a dress - I am disappointed. I am very disappointed. The dress is not just a dress, it’s 1) showing how Sokka is willing to follow, adapt to, and respect other’s traditions, 2) proving that what you wear doesn’t affect your skills, and 3) it’s vital to making Suki, in turn, respect him. The writers are cowards. Let my man wear a dress!!

Coward - speaking of, why do people keep calling Aang that?? He didn’t run away in this one! It really doesn’t hit very hard at all when he literally Didn’t. Run. Away. If you’re going to make changes, stop referencing the old version!

Kya - the flashbacks to Katara’s mum when the fireballs got too close were pretty good. Just enough detail to know something traumatising happened, not enough to reveal the whole story. And it’s realistic that Katara would have a trauma response to fire.

Power scaling - an issue of last episode too. The original was good at slowly building up and introducing the power of the world. We go from Zuko, to Zhao, to Azula, to Ozai, to Sozin's Comet. But since we’ve seen the firebenders at the height of their power - during Sozin’s Comet - all other firebending should now be less impressive. (I say “should be” because tbh the firebenders under Sozin’s Comet weren’t even much more powerful looking?)

Weapon - why does Kyoshi call the Avatar the ultimate weapon? That sounds like General Fong type shit. The Avatar is the bridge between the physical and the spirit worlds, they keep the balance. In no way does that mean they have to become a weapon. In fact, I would argue that a good Avatar must be the furthest thing from a weapon, because weapons are wielded by others to kill, but the Avatar should be independent in the decisions they make, striving for peace, if they want to see the bigger picture and keep the balance for all.

Appa - he was there. He didn’t look too bad. I hate that that’s the only thing I can say about him.

Sokka finally shows the boomerang - but he still doesn’t use it in combat. At this point I think they’re trying to contain the sheer power that would be unleashed should he get to wield it.

RIP the pirates - I get the time constraints, but I am sad we never get to see the sheer unhinged-ness of Zuko's stubborn ass. This mf out here catching goss of a bald kid and a waterbender and immediately grabbing it with his teeth.

Hmm yep, think that's everything for now. It's a fine episode if I don't think about stuff too hard, but if it's only good when my brain's turned off then it's not really that great, yknow? I'll probs keep watching the rest, but I might not post any more reactions unless they pull something hella good or fuck up egregiously bad lol.

[myloveforhergoeson]

ash's january 2024 reading round up

find all the books and fics i read this month under the cut with a link to the synopsis and my reviews/ratings attached :)

this is just for fun! i'm not a professional, i just like to read <3

book list!

1. Wreck the Halls by Tessa Bailey (18+!)

• review: i am a massive, massive, massive tessa bailey fan so it's no surprise that this was my favorite from this month and my first book of 2024! i received this christmas-themed rom-com as a holiday gift and i absolutely loved every second of it. the plot centers around the main couple, beat and melody (i know, right?!), who are the children of two bitter ex-bandmates, attempting to reunite their mothers' band on a live, 24 hour reality tv show! definitely one of the most unique concepts for a contemporary romance book i've read in quite some time! i loved following beat and melody's dual perspectives on both their past and their present as well as unraveling how difficult their family relationships were despite their fortuitous upbringings. the position of being the child of a famous individual can be quite isolating and even though beat didn't mind the spotlight and melody hated it, they're still some of the only people in the world who understood the other's struggles. the 24-hour live stream format was also very interesting to read from their perspectives - they were so funny both on and off camera! their mothers, trina and octavia were such dynamic characters as well; learning about their bitter rivalry through the perspectives of their children was so neat! between the two main characters, melody was my favorite. she was such a well rounded and dynamic character! my favorite chapters were all from her perspective. i could have gone without beat's weird overprotectiveness of her though - personal preference. i'm not too fond of characters like that and sometimes he took his protectiveness way too far for my liking! highly recommend for fans of campy rom-coms and those looking for a fresh take on the genre :)

• rating: 4/5 epic guitar solos !

2. My Life With the Walter Boys by Ali Novak

• review: very conflicted feelings on this one. if i hadn't watched the netflix adaptation first, i think i would have liked the book more... idk. like other published wattpad novels before it, the main character jackie is displaced from her perfect new york city girl life after a tragic accident leaves her an orphan, so what must she do? move to rural colorado to live with her mother's best friend and her 12 children. of which 11 are boys. oh no! there were parts of the book that i really enjoyed, like getting to see jackie bond with her new housemates and get used to the small town lifestyle and making new friends around her high school. the show cut out a good majority of her friends but i really liked them in the book! however, aside from jackie and her love triange between walter boys alex and cole, all the other characters were super underdeveloped and two dimensional, which made me yearn for some of the original plotlines developed for the show. i feel like making the main conflict center around a family of 14 and not really developing 12 of them is just a waste of time. and also, i didn't really vibe with jackie or alex in this version of the story. i'm still a proud member of team cole in the book and the tv show. i also wasn't fond of the ending personally... tldr, if you're interested in the plot synopsis i have linked, just skip the book and watch the show. which feels backward to say, but trust me ok!

• rating: 2/5 characters i liked in the book but got cut out of the show :)

3. The Deal by Elle Kennedy (18+!)

• review: ah. yes. like in all things. men like hockey. women love music. haha. my favorite thing about this book was the concept - i'm a real sucker for these contemporary hockey romance novels set in fake college towns with fake hockey teams and a book for each player and their love life... generally, i very much appreciate what elle kennedy was going for with this one. that being said. the male main character, garrett, was just an ass for more than half of the entire novel and the female main character, hannah, just let him walk over her for a good part of the beginning. usually i like fmc's in books like these, but she was just a bit boring to me... yikes. i did really enjoy how gattett and hannah's stories intertwined throughout the book, and even though garret was a persistent dick he sure loves hannah. i can respect that. in addition to the main two, i though their respective friend groups were interesting as well! the jocks and the theater kids coming together to unionize is always funny to me :) hannah and garrett's two worlds blending together into one was nice. i'm planning to pick up the sequel to see how that progresses as the shift moves to other players on the hockey team! if it's got a hockey player in it, good chance i'm gonna read it.

• potential trigger warnings if interested in reading: mentions of a past sexual assault on the female main character; mentions of past physical abuse on the male main character; mentions of current physical abuse on a side character

• rating: 3/5 times i had to google a hockey term while reading !

4. Wildfire by Hannah Grace (18+!)

• review: if you run in booktok spaces, you may have heard of Hannah grace's other novel, icebreaker. in my humblest opinion, this book deserved the hype icebreaker got! main characters russ and aurora were sooo dynamic and i absolutely loved their second chance romance while they were both camp counselors at a fancy summer camp! both of them having their own separate storylines that ended up converging was so well written and the two of them supporting each other unconditionally was so refreshing. the atmosphere of the camp and surrounding town were so adorable - i wish i could go there! plus all the sneaking around they had to do because of the camp counselor's no-fraternizing rule... mm. russ was so freaking sweet too - not enough sweet, kind, shy gues in these types of books. i also enjoyed aurora's confident, outgoing personality! the side characters were adorable as well and the cameos from characters in icebreaker had me screaming! ugh i love them and this book so freaking much!! highly highly recommend for fans of second chance romance or good books in general :)

• potential trigger warnings if interested in reading: gambling addiction struggles in a parent; parental neglect and verbal abuse on the male/female main character

• rating: 4/5 marshmallows to make the perfect cup of cocoa

fic list!

Goddamned (51100 words) by skyline

• fandom: big time rush (tv)

• pairings: kendall knight/james diamond, brief kendall knight/jett stetson, carlos garcia/logan mitchell

• i can't sing this fic's praises enough, one of the best i've read in a quite some time. a pjo/btr crossover is just what i needed in my life and i enjoyed every moment, every word, every twist and turn... so so so obsessed! the world building was so incredible and after i finished it i couldn't think about anything else for hours. i can't recommend this one enough :)) we all know i love a long fic and this one was just perfect

[neverendingcomplaints]

Watched this video and I'm just kinda chuckling at it. Can't tell if they're actually joking about their "big age" or not (hope they is).

I know this is controversial, but I think Gen Z and Millenials need to stop scrounging for everything to have a label or an exact definition, and stop begging around asking, "Is it healthy enough? Am I good enough? AM I ENOUGH!?!" The answer is typically Yes, and there is no perfect label or definition of love. You define it for yourself and no one has the right to take that definition away from you, and no, we don't have to get on the same page about it as a whole.

I have complicated relationships with everyone in my life. It doesn't mean I'm just a bundle of unresolved trauma unfit for the world. It just means I'm human and imperfect. My mom and I used to physically fight, and yet she is one of the most important people in the world to me and I love her fiercely. Who are all these random weirdos on the internet to tell me that no, it's not love, it's just strictly abusive and unhealthy and wrong? It's not and it never was. It's human and flawed and messy and hard and guess what? I can still be myself with her and I will be devastated when the inevitable happens and we are parted and I don't care what bell hooks wrote, it is absolutely 100 percent love. Same thing with my ex. I have never fought any of my so-called "close" friends, but the feelings and vulnerability I have with them doesn't even come close.

As for heirarchies, I just think it's kinda wishful thinking to believe that you don't have them. It doesn't mean that you have to love your romantic partner over your platonic friend, but if two people who are important to you have equivalent events in their life and they both need you but you can only go to one immediately, most likely you already know who you're choosing. It's just not realistic, like ENM/poly couples who claim they're non-heirarchical but close things up when sh*t hits the fan. You chose each other. The other people are not a priority. That's heirarchy. It's that simple.

Love is not always peace. Love can be messy, toxic, hard, soft, easy, happy, tragic etc. It evolves, it grows and it dies, it's active and passive, it is too big to contain in any exact definitions or labels or checklists or therapy speech or terms like healthy and unhealthy even. And I think Gen Z and Millenials need to be OK with that.

And on the subject of Media Depictions of Love: The Media is A FANTASY. Of course it influences things, but so does your immediate environment, your family, your school etc. Not saying that Khadija believes this, but there are really people mad and bitter because of fairy tales and romcoms and romance novels. I think that's mostly a personal problem, as in something they have to untangle with a therapist or themselves. There are things that I enjoy in fiction, that I would be horrified by in real life. I don't like The Notebook, but I don't think anyone who likes The Notebook needs to be informed right now of all the problematic things about it so they can properly disavow it online before they get canceled. Big boys and girls should be able to handle themselves. If you're that upset about fiction, then I think there's an issue there that needs to be addressed and it's not just The Media.

[keep-looking-here]

bittersweet

the only thing i’m getting out of church these days is poetic inspiration

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transcript under the cut

your voice it sings sweeter than honey as the words of the first verse ring out in the hallways and under the arching church roof

the chords of the music are smoother than the grape-juice we drink in communion some weeks i swallow it down and i choke

i hope you believe what you sing i hope your heart swells as the drumbeat kicks in and the chorus grows green from your lips

i don’t taste your honey-sweet words their aftertaste rots like an acrid bouquet their foulness is filling my mouth

don’t blame me for tasting the bitterness the plants that you asked me to grow are all dead but don’t fear. i planted my own

and their flowers are blooming so brightly and their nectar is love and their nectar is sin for their words carry no bitter tunes

i sing to my own song, my honey no bittersweet music to choke up my throat for i am my own now, not yours