#they were talking about how their baby daddies left them and so they support each other and split childcare costs

[fishandshesmygills]

my little sister and her best friend played "teen pregnancy" in the grocery store earlier (buying baby yogurt and loudly talking about their non-existent babies and pregnancies in an aisle full of people)

[vivwritesfics]

Three Apples Tall

Lando and the readers son is insecure about how short he is. But he got his height from his dad and it was one of the reasons reader fell in love with him.

Lando Norris had never expected to become a father at 24. But life was odd sometimes. It threw curve balls when you least expected it. What counted was how you handled it.

Lando married his girlfriend, the mother of his child. He was going to do it anyway, whether there was a baby involved or not. He moved out of his apartment in Monaco and they got a proper house together, the perfect place to raise the family.

Robert 'Bobby' Norris was the spitting image of his father. Like Lando had made a little clone of himself. He was a little heartbreaker as a baby and had all of the women in his life fawning over him.

He was a mommas boy, but he looked just like his father. As he got older, the resemblance to Lando only got stronger. He didn't start karting, that wasn't in his future. He wanted to be a footballer instead (and Lando was going to support him the entire way).

When Bobby was eleven he expressed to his momma just how scared he was of growing up short. "Girls don't like short guys, mum," he said as they ate dinner together. Lando was away at a race, but Bobby and his mum had stayed home so that he could go to school.

"Trust me, Bob," his mother said as she grabbed his plate from the table. "Girls don't care about height. You've seen me wear heels around your dad, right?"

Bobby wore a frown, but he still nodded.

As Bobby Norris got older, he only got more insecure about his height. His friends all shot up around him, the boys on his football team were all much bigger than him. Bobby hated it; he couldn't help but feel as though people were staring at them. Of course, nobody was, but he couldn't help the way he felt.

He didn't say anything to his father, but he did speak to his mother. His mother that worried about him. His mother that had to speak to his father about it.

Bobby Norris might not have understood this, but his father had felt all of this before. He understood how Bobby felt, better than most.

"Lan," she mumbled as they laid in bed together, holding each other. "He feels really shitty. Do you think you can talk to him?"

Lando couldn't help but feel like this was all of his fault. The short genes were his, after all. He hadn't felt insecure like this since he was a teenager. But Lando didn't care about his own insecurities. He knew how to deal with his own insecurities. Bobby didn't.

I must say they had another child in this time. A daughter, Eleanor Norris. She was a daddies girl, followed in her fathers footsteps. As soon as she could she begged to get into karting, and Lando did all that he could to make that happen.

She was small, but she didn't care. It didn't affect her in the way it did her brother.

Now, back to Bobby.

His friends towered over him. He hadn't been picked on for his height, nobody but him cared about that, but he still felt shit. As a five foot nothing sixteen year old, he hated it. His friends were all nearly six foot, some taller than that, and he wasn't.

Lando knocked on his bedroom door. Booby normally left it open, but he was gaming with his friends so his mother had shut his door since, like his father, he tended to get a little loud.

"Yeah?" Bobby shouted as he pulled his headset off.

Lando pushed open his bedroom door and walked in. Bobby paused his game (it was call of duty - he didn't pause but hid somewhere on the map, a map that Lando remembered playing several years before) and spun in his gaming chair to face his dad.

"Hey, Bob," Lando said, trying to keep things light. Bobby raised his eyebrows at his dad. He just wanted to get back to his game. "Your mum and I have been talking."

Bobby's neutral expression dropped into a frown. "Fuuuuuck," he groaned as he leaned back in his seat. "What did she tell you?" His head was still against the back of the gaming chair as he looked at his dad.

"She told me that... you don't feel great about your height."

Bobby didn't say anything. He simply looked at his dad. How to you admit that you're insecure about your height to the person you inherited it from?

"I used to be insecure about my height," Lando admitted, linking his fingers together. "When I was a kid I really cared about what people thought about me and my height. My friends at school were all tall and I wasn't. I was really embarrassed when I was at school."

Bobby let out a groan. "Seriously dad, do we have to do this?"

"Just listen," said Lando. "I tried not to care, but I really did. Even in my 20's I still cared. But Then I met your mum. She made me realise that nobody cared about my height. It was all in my head and nobody cared but me. Your mum is taller than me in heels, and that made me insecure at our first FIA prize gala, but I realised I shouldn't care so much. I might be three apples tall, but nobody cares but me."

"Okay, I get it," said Bobby as he turned back to his game. His controller had turned off and he pressed the button to turn it on.

Lando stood and laid his hand on Bobby's shoulder. "I just don't want you to wait until your twenties to realise this."

It may not have looked like Bobby was listening, but he was. He took in what his dad was saying, and stopped caring about his height. It made him a lot happier, his friends could tell, his family could tell.

Robert Norris was three apples tall, just like his dad.

[whorekneecentral]

Family's Growing

Kylian Mbappe x Fem!Reader

Warnings: kylian has baby fever, dirty thoughts, baby talk, breeding, oral (f!receiving), fingering, penetrative sex (p in v), breeding/pregnancy kink goes burrrr, daddy used in a sexual context, begging, creampies, finger fucking and sucking lol, cum play.

Word Count: 1,615

Author's Note: okay I'm finally back on track with these - yes I know Tuesday is over but please look past that lol.

merry smutmas series

--

Kylian finds himself swooning over how good you are with his niece and nephew, the thought of having a family with you spins around his head. 

Christmas was a time for family and that seemed to be the only thing on your boyfriend's mind.

The two of you had gone over to his parents' place for Christmas dinner, all of his cousins were there as well as their kids. Kylian was not the favourite uncle for no reason, all of them knew they were getting good gifts in bountiful amounts too.

The tree in the living room that was once full with presents were now opened, the floor covered in wrapping paper. It was only two kids, his cousin's son and daughter, and Ethan if you counted him as well; and yet, it seemed like Kylian had bought the entirety of Paris for them.

Kylian watches as you lay on the floor with his niece and nephew, the three of you putting together a tower made of legos, whispering and giggling as you built the tower.

He smiles to himself as he watches the scene unfold in front of him. A part of him isn't sure what he did to be so lucky, to have a career as great as his and to have a girlfriend who's so loving and kind and supportive. You loved his family like your own, right now was a prime example.

Seeing you with kids always did something for him, you had a maternal nature about you, anyone who met you could see that.

The thought crossed his mind many times, how nice it would be to start a family with you. You two had spoken about it ages ago, when you began dating. You both decided that you'd revisit the idea when you were more stable in life and that you were now. Both you and Kylian were stable in careers, you two lived together, you had been together for a while and you had the means to raise a child.

He couldn't see where it would be a no.

As much as he wanted a kid with you, the idea of making a kid was much more appealing.

Clothes on the floor, hands all over each other, watching as you begged him to cu- "You okay?" Ethan asks his older brother, breaking his thought.

Kylian clears his throat. "Yeah," he nods, a smile on his face as you glance over your shoulder at him.

"They love her," Ethan nods towards you with the kids, "y/n's always been good with them."

"She was good with you too," Kylian teased his brother. You two had begun dating just before his World Cup win, the two of you barely 18 years old and Ethan was 12 - still a child in his brother's eyes and he always will be.

Ethan rolls his eyes at his brother's comment.

After some time, the kids started to get tired which was their parents' signal to head out. You and Kylian left not too shortly after that as well.

Your boyfriend finds you in the kitchen after he changes for bed, his arms wrapped around you from behind whilst your elbows propped on the counter as you waited for the kettle to boil.

"Something on your mind, baby?" You asked him, twirling the string attached to your tea bag.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

Kylian hums. "Kids."

His answer catches you off guard, you turn to face the man with a confused look on your face. "Kids?"

He shrugs, smiling. "Seeing you with the little ones today, I don't know - it got me thinking. It'd be nice to have our own, don't you think?" His hand rests on your hip, thumb disappearing under the hem of your shirt.

A glance at your boyfriend's hand, your eyebrows raised. "Do you really mean having kids or making kids?"

You can't help the laugh, kissing your boyfriend. The man wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against him. Kylian picks you up, holding you tightly as he kisses you and carries you over to the couch.

Kylian puts you down, sitting on the couch for a moment as he looks at you. You take that as your sign to undress.

The silk shorts sliding down your smooth legs, pooling by your ankles before you step out of them, you pull off the tank top and that leaves you in the blue set he loves. You reach behind to unhook your bra but Kylian stops you, “leave it on.” 

He pulls you by your waist back to him, his hand slipping down to rest on your ass before giving it a smack. You’re quiet, looking down at your boyfriend on the couch. 

He puts you to lay on the couch, he’s sat between your legs with one on either side of him. You’ve propped yourself up on your elbows to look at him and Kylian drags his fingers up your thigh, moving to your clothed pussy. 

“I like this,” he tells you, fingers rubbing over the blue lace. 

You smile, “I know.” 

He pulls the panties to the side, his eyes fixed on your pussy. He gives you no warning, pushing his fingers into you. The sound leaving your mouth was like heaven on earth to him. 

Kylian's fingers curl upwards, your back arching at the feeling. 

“Keeks, please.” your hand reaches down to wrap on his wrist but he swats your hand away, managing to pull both to rest on your stomach and his free hand over your hands, pinning them to your stomach. 

You try to wiggle your hands away from him, trying to grab on something. “Behave.” He tells you, adding another finger. 

Your face twists, pleasure all across it and our hands stop wiggling, he smiles, satisfied. 

Kylian can feel it; he knows you’re close, you’re squeezing on his fingers, your thighs trying to close, trying to squirm away from the pleasure. 

He can feel your eyes on him, he reaches for the blue lace you’re wrapped up in and tugs it down your legs, letting it fall to the floor with the rest of your clothes. He shifts to lay on his stomach between your legs, leaving a trail of kisses as he works his way up to your cunt. 

Your eyes meet his, he knows you’re looking. He wants you to look at him. 

Your hips buck when you feel his tongue against your clit, your hand gripping on his hair. 

Kylian knew you like the back of his hand, gripping your thighs to keep them in place as his tongue lapped your clit. Your hips buck, your way of saying you want more, he gives in. 

"Please," you whimpered.

"What, mon ange ? Tell me."

You look at the man between your legs. "Fuck me."

There was no hidden meaning behind it; no scolding, no need to hurry him up - you wanted him and that was it. 

“Gonna let me fill you up princess? Hm?” He asks, shifting to line himself up with your cunt. You nodded eagerly, your leg hitching on his hip.

At this point, you can’t do much except lay there and take it; not that you don’t want to because you do, you really do. 

The tip of his cock brushing over your clit before moving to push into you. Your back arches, hips jutting forward to meet his.

Hard and rough, not enough to hurt you but enough to tell you that he's in charge.

Kylian wanted to hear you.

His hand now on your chin. “C’mon amour, let me hear all those pretty sounds you make.” He says, the angle you were at puts him deeper than before.

The slightest movements and you can feel it in your stomach. It’s like he can hear your thoughts because his hand moves from your chin to your stomach. His big hand spread over your stomach, “you’d look so pretty with a baby in you, hm?”

Kylian lets you fall back onto the couch, both of his hands on your hips. “Maybe I should fuck one into you.”

His name falls from your lips like a prayer, he could listen to you say it over and over again. You were close enough that you could taste it.

“So good for me, you take it so well.” He whispers to you, kissing under your ear.

“Uh huh,” you breathe, leaning back against him, your legs felt like jello under you. Your head drops back onto the couch, begging him to let you cum.

He lets you drop back, back arched for him once again. He feels you cum around him, the wetness covering his cock. It’s not long after, followed by a few sloppy thrusts, that Kylian cums too.

The tip of his cock brushing between your folds, spreading his cum all over your pussy.

He pulls away, smiling at the whimper he gets from you. His fingers replacing his cock, covered in his cum when you roll over, he sticks his fingers in your mouth and he doesn’t have to tell you what to do.

“Good girl,” he hums, watching as your tongue laps over his fingers. Kylian pulls his fingers away, leaning down to kiss you. A mess of the two of you, not sure where one of you starts and the other ends.

You lay there for a while, Kylian on top of you, your leg tossed on his hip as his head rests on your sternum. Your fingers drag over his shoulders, the man humming quietly.

"We should do that again," he whispers.

You laughed, "keep it up and we'll end up with a baby by next Christmas."

Kylian nods, kissing you. "Let's try again then."

--

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[xomakara]

Rewarded With Love

SUMMARY |  Hongjoong rewards you for being such a good mother to his children.

PAIRINGS |  Hongjoong x Reader

RATING | Mature, NSFW, EXPLICIT, MDNI, 18+

GENRE |  dad!Hongjoong, wife!Reader, dilf!Hongjoong, milf!Reader, smut, non-idol au, fluff, established relationship

CONTENT/WARNINGS | profanity/strong language, filthy dirty thoughts, protected sex (wrap it up ya’ll!), fingering, oral sex (f. receiving/m. giving), dirty talk, praise kink, pet names, mommy and daddy kinks (pet names?)

LENGTH |  4,858 words

TAGLIST | —

NETWORKS | @illusionnet @cromernet @wonderlandnet @k-vanity @othersideoutlawsnetwork @ksmutsociety

AUTHOR’S NOTE |  Momma is back with another dad!Teez fic lolol. If you read my dad!Jongho fic (Second Chance at Love), you'll see some familiar children lolol. At this point, I should just make a series. Show support by liking, commenting and reblogging. Love you all 💚

"I'm home!" Kim Hongjoong called out as he shut the front door behind him.

He listened and heard the pitter pat of feet coming down the hallway, the screams of 'Daddy!' making his heart smile, hearing his kids come running and flinging themselves at him, trying to give him a hug at the same time. They were trying to talk, one voice blending in with the next, only catching fragments of what they were actually saying, so excited to see him they could hardly contain it.

"Where's Daddy's kisses?" He asked as they chattered about their day.

Loud smacking kisses pressed against his cheek before he stood and put the pair down on their feet, giving them each a smile. "Where's mommy?" He asked when he didn't see his wife in the hall.

"Kitchen,” they said in unison, smiling up at their daddy, holding his hands and leading him through the house with his son to his left and his daughter to his right, matching excited grins on their faces. "Mommy! Daddy is home!"

Hongjoong let out a small laugh as he watched you stir the pot of stew, bouncing lightly on your feet with the baby strapped to your front, nestled there with his head on your breast. His arms reached and tightened around you, a soft laugh escaping your lips when you felt him against your back. 

You pulled his left hand over to kiss it, a smile pulling at your lips. "Welcome home, Daddy."

Hongjoong grinned and kissed your shoulder, turning you to face him. He cupped your cheek, kissing you softly as his children groaned in disgust and ran off to play. Leaning his forehead against yours, he smiled and asked, "How were the kids today?"

"Good as always. Well, Hyejin almost choked on an apple, so that was a little scary for me. She's fine," you lifted your hand to cup his cheek with a smile, returning his forehead with a kiss.

"My angel," he kissed your nose, making you chuckle before he leaned into the baby. "Hey there, big boy. How are you?"

Hyunwoo turned his head, blinking at his father, taking him in, and when recognition donned him, his face lit up, his hand reaching out for his father, cooing excitedly.

Hongjoong took him from his sling with a grin and brought him close to him, kissing his little chubby cheeks and chin with loud smacking sounds. "I'll take the baby while you finish dinner. Did you need help with anything else?"

"No, just get the table set and that'll be all good," you hummed. "Can you make sure the kids wash their hands before they sit at the table?"

"Yes, love. You can count on me," he gave a mock salute and turned with the baby in his arms to carry him out, watching the kids run through the halls in their socks, screaming and laughing.

He almost tripped a few times while navigating his way with a child in his arms, but Hongjoong had gotten very adept in having children run under his feet. He had lost track of how many times he almost trampled one of them or how many stubbed toes he had because they were doing somersaults in the living room. He remembered being a miserable single dad when his ex-wife suddenly up and left. He lacked a support system, and the abrupt shift from married life to single parenthood, with a toddler and a baby to care for, was incredibly challenging. He struggled to make ends meet while trying to stay strong for his children, who were now without their mother.

When Jongho's wife recommended you for the nanny job, he thought nothing of it, but you were so good with the kids, they attached themselves to you faster than you could've known. Hongjoong fell for you long before you'd even noticed, his children chattering on and on about you being their 'mommy' now and it took everything in him not to blurt it out, hoping that the affection they gave was a reflection of his own.

Now, four years later, you had his ring on your finger, another baby to join the family, and two healthy older siblings running underfoot. His ex-wife wasn't coming back, and he hadn't thought once about her since she walked out the door with the clothes on her back and left her life behind like she meant nothing to any of them. It broke his heart the first year, the thought of her leaving for months, no explanation, no return calls or letters, and now, he had long since buried his sorrow to focus on the family he had instead of the family he didn't.

He thanked Jongho's wife every chance he got because without her, he wouldn't have gotten you into his life, and now, he never wanted to let you go, no matter what.

After he watched Hyejin and Hongki scurry off to wash their hands and he deposited his newest baby into his high chair, making sure he wouldn't get out, he returned to your side. "Food's done?"

"Yes," you handed him the plates and cutlery, letting him lead the way back into the dining room.

Once everyone had sat down, food was distributed, and napkins were spread over laps, dinner began with chatter amongst all of them, as usual, talking over each other so fast that nobody was really keeping up with the conversation. Hyunwoo babbled between them as he gnawed away on the piece of bread you had given him.

"Oh, did Jongho tell you that he and his wife want to take the kids for a sleepover?" You spoke up while wiping the bit of juice that trickled down the baby's chin. "I think Jooeun and Joomi wanted a weekend with their friends."

"Are the other kids going?" Hongjoong asked, the 'others' referring to the kids of their friends.

"Yeosang already said that Yeonwoo is going. Yunho said that he's going to drop Yunhee off when he gets off work and I think San mentioned that Haru has been begging him to go," you checked the kids in front of you. "Does that sound good? Sleepover weekend with your friends? A big sleepover party at Uncle Jongho's house?"

"Sleepover?! At Jooeun's and Joomi's house?!" Their excited voices blended into one another.

You giggled. "Yeah and I think Yeonwoo, Haru and Yunhee are going to be there too."

They screamed in their chairs, all manners of speaking gone while they shrieked.

"Yeah?" You watched as they nodded their heads up and down. "What does Daddy say? Is that a good idea?"

"Daddy thinks it’s a great idea," Hongjoong turned his eyes from the kids to you, a wide grin on his face as you smiled. "That gives Mommy and Daddy a night to themselves too."

"We still have the baby," you turned your gaze to Hyunwoo who looked quite happy to have his piece of bread to gnaw on, sucking it a little for moisture. "You think Wooyoung would take him for the night?"

"It's Wooyoung," Hongjoong laughed. "The man will never say no to a baby. I'm sure he, Seonghwa, and Mingi, single and childless as they are, will be ecstatic to watch the baby."

Watching a gummy smile crawl across Hyunwoo's round little face and turn his attention to him. "He's just a precious thing. So cute, just like his Daddy and his big brother and sister."

His hand crept along the table and covered yours with a smile. His thumb ran circles over the wedding ring on your finger that matched his. "Couldn't be as cute as you, baby."

He heard his daughter groaning and knew her manners came out at the worst of times because all she had to say was, "Oh my God. Daddy, can you not do that at the table?"

"Don't blame me. Daddy loves Mommy." Hongjoong laughed.

"We all love mommy too!" Your son was quick to respond. "But don't make that yucky stuff at the table! Mommy always says to have our gross stuff done somewhere that’s not at the table!"

Your laughter rose up amongst the chatter, leaning over to peck his cheek. "Well, the table is now going to be strictly gross free. Daddy, let's keep our grossness elsewhere and not bother the kids."

He leaned down to kiss the crown of Hyunwoo's head, placing a kiss on the crowns of the eldest children's heads. "Agreed, gross free table."

"I can't remember the last time we did this," Hongjoong spoke from his spot on the couch, leaning back into the comfortable cushion with his arm over your shoulders while the credits to some movie played on the tv. An hour ago, Jongho had just picked up the older kids for the sleepover and an ecstatic Wooyoung came to grab the baby. Now, you were home alone and could do as you pleased.

You hummed, sliding down the couch more until your head was pillowed on his lap.

"I think it's been forever, sweetheart," his fingers played with the flyaways of your hair with a smile pulling at his lips.

You groaned and rolled onto your side, pulling his hand with you so it was draped over your side and laying half across your stomach. "Since before the baby?" 

You recalled all the moments where Hongjoong wanted to pull you close and show you his love, but with the baby attached to you or in a different room, he found it hard to have those intimate moments. Even sex wasn't an option, at least, not regularly like it was before the baby. The moments you were alone to do so were too few and far between.

"Unfortunately, the most action we've had lately was a little bit of dry humping," a breathy laugh passed his lips. "God, it sounds so juvenile saying that. We're a married couple, yet, the most action lately was rubbing ourselves against each other in the middle of the night."

A light giggle escaped your throat and your head shifted on his lap, turning a soft grin towards him, meeting his eyes. "Hon, please, with these kids running wild around the house, sex is the least of our worries. If we can catch a few minutes of intimacy without someone coming up the stairs and bursting in on us, I'll count myself blessed."

A smile pulled at his lips and he took your left hand, holding it up so he could look at your rings. "I don't regret it, baby. None of this. Growing this family, starting a life with you. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Thank you for coming into my life, for loving Hongki and Hyejin like they were your own kids and giving birth to our little Hyunwoo. We're only going to grow from here. Who knows? Maybe we'll expand again."

"And have more kids like Jongho and his wife?" Your lips curled into a smile, making Hongjoong laugh and shake his head. "Yeah, let's keep it to three kids and that'll be enough."

"Darn it, guess my evil plans are foiled. I was hoping that our baby-making would multiply and I'd have five or six. Can you imagine? A house of seven? It'll be the end of us," Hongjoong laughed with you and brushed his fingers through your hair with a hum and leaned back more on the couch.

"Don't know how Jongho and his wife could do it," you mused. "A set of twin girls, a set of twin boys and another baby on the way?" You shook your head in amusement and curled more into your husband's leg. "Who knew our youngest friend would have the most kids out of us all?"

"With the biggest house and the most bedrooms," he added.

"Biggest yard and the largest living space,” you continued.

Hongjoong and you continued rattling things off with a shared grin until your gazes met and your eyes squinted into small smiles. Your right hand reached up and stroked his cheek. His eyes crinkled in response and his forehead lowered down to touch yours, chuckling low under his breath. "My pretty wife."

Your hand gripped the nape of his neck, holding him close as a soft exhale passed your lips and your eyes slipped closed. "My handsome husband."

Slow, soft, gentle lips touched yours and Hongjoong cradled you in his arms, humming into the kiss with a happy smile. Time escaped you as you melted under your husband's ministrations, a simple and chaste exchange. The whole house was quiet, not a single kid around to stop you, or yell from somewhere else in the house, or suddenly need you and throw you back into the realm of parenting. Right now, it was just you and him. Nothing more, nothing less. Just his arms, his lips on yours, his hands stroking through your hair and feeling his love surround you like the warmest blanket.

His teeth gently teased your lower lip and he pulled back to hover over your face with a breathless chuckle, his hands now trailing down your face to hold your hands in his. His thumbs gently rubbed circles into your skin, making shivers run up your spine and down your back with a silent exhale.

"I'm not gonna lie. It feels kinda nice not having the kids around for a whole night. Makes it much more relaxing. I don't have to run after kids every second," his chuckle met your ears and a breathy laugh of your own fell into the air around you two.

"Yeah," your arms curled around his middle, trying to pull him close and bring his lips back to yours. 

He laughed quietly again, tilting his head with a smile and cupped your cheeks in his hands. "The kids are gone tonight, my love. What should we do? All alone without kids?"

"Cuddles. Kisses. Movie?" The smile was unmistakable and your heart filled with pure love for your husband, melting with every second his eyes remained on yours. "A reward for being the best wife and mother to your children?"

"A reward, huh?" His laugh tickled your ears and his lips pressed another soft kiss on your forehead, gently nudging you from his lap and rising from the couch. "Anything for the most beautiful mother and best wife I've ever had. Now, come on, Mommy, let Daddy show you how much you deserve a break."

You giggled at his cheeky antics and caught his extended hand as he picked you up and carried you all the way to the bedroom. His kisses didn't stop until he dropped you onto the bed, bouncing with a happy smile up at him, the moment a blur as he crawled over top of you.

You brought him down for another kiss with a chuckle. 'What are you planning to do?"

"Giving my wife a reward," his lips grazed your chin and began peppering the side of your neck and making his way down as he spoke. "One she well and truly deserves for everything she's done."

"By doing what?" your eyes followed his head down as he buried himself into your collarbones and the exposed part of your chest. Your shirt had ridden down, bunched in his grasp as he snaked his hands underneath to touch your skin. His cold hands warmed up within seconds.

"Giving Mommy a night where all her needs are met," Hongjoong tilted his gaze towards you, a flirtatious wink greeting you and his eyes growing half-lidded. "A night where her pleasure is met, a night where I am completely and totally wrapped around her little finger. She's so lovely and wonderful to all the kids, my wonderful children's mother."

He kept your hands pinned above your head, bringing your attention back to him and kissing your lips once again. "Tonight, everything is Mommy's decision. If she wants kisses, if she wants love, if she wants affection. Anything, Mommy gets what she wants," his tone was gentle, lips speaking low as his breath warmed your face. "Can I do that, sweetheart? Make Mommy feel good and loved?"

You blushed, nodding a small little motion and lifted your head to meet his next kiss. "Yes, of course. I'd love anything you'd give me."

Hongjoong's answering kiss brought tingles of happiness through every cell of your body.

It felt good, and nothing would tear your husband's hands or kisses off you as he slowly peeled away your clothing piece by piece. Each kiss followed and a small burn of warmth swarmed your skin, causing goosebumps to rise, and it was addicting, being bathed in this type of attention from Hongjoong, his eyes only on you and making sure you received his entire focus. Every part of his body was doing what made your body happy and made you shiver.

Kisses littered the inner flesh of your thighs and the peaks of your breasts, Hongjoong's gentle smile and caresses stroking through your hair or on your legs made your head turn with love. Your stomach felt jittery with every kiss and the coil in your core only tightened with every passing minute.

"Breathe, sweet girl. It's all okay. There's no hurry," Hongjoong's voice was soft and tender, urging you to slow your racing heart and taking a breath when a gasp left your throat.

You blinked and looked over his smiling face with a soft smile pulling at your own features. "I love you, Joong."

"I love you too, baby," a warm grin stretched his lips.

His fingers brushed over your opening, feeling a sudden need to slide in and watch as you broke around him. His fingers sank into your welcoming body, slipping in and out with ease. His movements were slow and sensual, loving the way your eyes rolled back, your head flopped, and your lips parted into a silent gasp. He spread his fingers, making you tense and releasing a short moan from your chest and the desperate way you begged him, asking for more as your hands tightly clenched the sheets.

He smirked. It was definitely a beautiful sight, one that always sent his blood roaring in his veins. "Tell me what you want. Say the words and I'm more than happy to comply."

Your breaths came in shaky gasps and you weakly mumbled, "M-more. J-just... k-keep going, p-please."

He chuckled softly, placing one last kiss on your knee and moved down, placing himself in between your legs. You immediately looked at him through half-lidded eyes and cried softly when his thumb rubbed hard and firm against your clit, only adding a flash of fire in your belly, spreading into your legs and chest.

"D-don't, J-Joong. I-I-" you cried out softly, bringing your fingers down into his hair, tugging on the strands in desperation. "Pl-please!"

"Mhm. That's what I want to hear, baby," he leaned over you, your gasps fanning across his chin as he dipped his head down and gave you a quick kiss. "Such a pretty sound, only for Daddy's ears, yes?"

You whimpered in answer, his tongue trailing along the inside of your thigh, kissing and nibbling, leaving a burning sensation in its wake.

"You can be as loud as you want, love," the edges of his smile rose up, knowing the soft sounds that echoed around the empty house of yours. "It's just us. It's alright."

You sucked in a deep breath and your eyelids closed as his lips met your folds. It was almost as if he didn't want to waste a second before tasting the warm slick your pussy offered him. Your eyes shot open, back arching as his lips, tongue and finger went straight to work.

His mouth latched around your clit while his fingers worked, rubbing you inside while you lost the ability to speak, all that could come out were soft and weak moans while your legs trembled. Hongjoong's lips tightened against your clit, making your thighs clamp down around him in an attempt to slow down or make him stop.

"Joong..." you moaned softly, closing your eyes, feeling a wave of ecstasy washing over your mind and you had to swallow or choke on your spit. Your throat felt dry, as you threw your head back when Hongjoong started sucking harder and wiggling his finger.

It felt way too good, his lips, his fingers and the vibrations from his own soft groans that made your knees clench around his ears as your chest arched. His tongue ran laps against you and pushed your thighs to shake around him. The warmth in your stomach had built up from the attention on your core, sending jolts of fire through you. He felt too amazing and you couldn't fight back. He was going to get a reaction whether you liked it or not.

Your fingers gripped his hair, pulling him down and begging to ride his face until the ache in your lower half subsided. Your body shook and your pussy pulsed, gushing your sweet juices around Hongjoong's working hands.

He purred when your legs finally settled down from the tremors running up and down your legs. It had been long since you've last experienced release, let alone from the skill of your husband's talented mouth and talented fingers. His hands were resting against your inner thighs, his eyes gazing down at the beautiful way you quivered and rode through the throes of pleasure he managed to give you. He licked his lips clean of the sticky and sweet wetness, chuckling softly.

"Did it feel nice, my love?" his hands ran gently up and down your quivering thighs, laughing in amusement at the way you could not catch a breath from the sudden orgasm he induced. He pressed a kiss to the corner of your hip, murmuring, "Gods, it's so fun watching you like this. How much I can't wait to see what other expressions you'll be making as the night goes on."

"I need you Joong," you gasped out, tugging his shirt as your thighs clamped against him. "Please, I need to feel you inside. Please."

"Hold on, baby," he muttered, leaving the bed briefly to rummage through the nightstand next to his side of the bed. Once he found the box of condoms, he set it on the table and settled between your trembling knees. "We did say we're stopping at three babies, right?"

A watery laugh escaped your chest, lifting a weak hand to cup his face. "Joong, just hurry!"

Hongjoong shook his head and grinned in amusement. "Patience is a virtue."

"If you don't put it in soon I'm kicking you off this bed,” you frowned.

"Hmm, Mommy is demanding," Hongjoong played back. He kicked off his sweats, rolling the condom over his hard member before settling in the gap between your legs. His lips were on yours once again as he rolled his hips against yours, gliding himself against you.

You tugged him forward, eager and hungry, breathing his name against his lips in between kisses, hoping for him to slip inside, thrusting hard and fast so your world was filled with nothing but him and your desires. You lifted your leg up and curled it against the back of his thigh, clinging tight and grinding into him.

Hongjoong wasted little time before he slid himself easily and steadily into your sex, gasping into your lips at the velvety heat and groaning into your shoulder when his balls pushed flush against your ass. He felt so thick and full inside you and yet his thrusts were gentle and steady, his hands cradled under your ass to give better leverage and his lips capturing yours each time you broke away for a breath or to moan loudly.

He picked up the speed and the force behind the rhythm, smirking against your skin at how your hands cupped his cheeks and the whimpers escaping your lips each time his dick reached so deep inside of you that you were sure your organs were being rearranged.

"H-Hongjoong," you panted, your head dazed with a pleasurable haze as his thrusts had now quickened and was shoving you up the bed a little each time his hips slapped yours and you both moved as one. The coil in your stomach wound tighter, feeling every inch of his member spearing into your flesh and sending yourself into a head spin of pleasure.

"Look at you baby," the warmth from Hongjoong's voice drew your attention, a smile plastered on his lips as you melted around him, a silent cry in your lips as your fingers tangled in the sheets. "Feeling so good, yeah?"

"Ah, so g-good," you answered breathlessly, feeling a light buzz in your ear from how dizzy you felt with his shaft buried to the hilt inside of your pussy, your muscles tightening around him each time his thrusts became slower to grind his hips into yours. The sheer look of awe on Hongjoong's face kept your chest warm. He adored every part of you. He took joy from every action, sound, sight that surrounded him as he thrusted slowly inside of you.

Your eyes slammed shut and you heard his soft groan fall against your ears, a satisfied sigh meeting them shortly after. He shuddered when you held him close and caressed a hand up the sweaty back. He laughed and returned the gesture, resting his head on your shoulder and tucked close into your neck. He rubbed his hands soothingly down your back, up and down, feeling the steady and comforting pace that had you both calm, yet his dick was still hard and pulsed deep within.

"I love you, baby," he whispered. His voice had softened and his hips moved smoothly in a tender sway that left your head falling back and your back arching closer towards him, hips jerking erratically and needy.

"I love you too, Hongjoong," you answered, crying quietly as your fingers tensed and pressed against the hard and sturdy muscles of his back. "So so much."

The squeaking of the bed creaked loudly and your breathing felt uneven, your heart beating frantically as you felt his dick slide in and out. The rhythm was smooth and pleasant, making you whine when his hands suddenly slid up to gently brush your sides and cupping the softness of your breast, playing with them, pinching, twisting, flicking. All while whispering sweet little nothings into your skin as you trembled with overflowing affection.

"Mommy looks so sexy like this," he cooed into your shoulder, laving at the skin with his tongue. "Trembling all around me and taking my love like such a good girl." 

His groans became heavier and the rocking of his hips caused your mouth to drop open with each deep roll, your bodies pressed together without an inch of space. You could feel every inch of him in such detailed clarity. "So lovely, so good. Such a good wife, a mother. Beautiful."

Your orgasm reached quickly, far too quickly. You moaned and yelled his name, throwing your head back and forcing your legs to stay clamped around him as the waves crashed through and you were left gasping, taking the air that had disappeared during the peak of bliss.

His fingers intertwined with yours, kissing your cheek lovingly. He lowered his head against your breasts and licked, sucked and gently bit into them. A content sigh came from his chest and he gave a squeeze with his teeth, massaging his hands all over your body, on your breast, on your back, and everywhere he could reach as your whole body shook. He came apart, unloading himself inside of the condom. Your fingers entangled in the strands of his hair, letting the moans ring in the air.

Once you both could finally breathe normally and had gotten the energy back to speak, Hongjoong collapsed on the bed next to you. He pulled the condom off, tying it up and dropping it into the trash before pulling you back to cuddle up to his chest.

"You good, love?" he whispered against your temple, pressing kisses as he awaited a reply.

"Yeah..." your breathing was quiet but content. It had been so long since the both of you were intimate, especially without worry of little interruptions or noisy children waking up throughout the night and demanding attention.

You cuddled closer to Hongjoong, reaching up to feel your face hot and a dorky smile crossed his lips, bringing his face down to nuzzle against your forehead.

He sighed softly against your hair. His voice, a gentle, sleepy slur. "What's on your mind?"

"Sleepy," you blurted out, squeezing your husband against your chest. "And then we can go again after a little rest."

"How demanding," Hongjoong let out a laugh as he snuggled closer to your chest. 

"You knew what you signed up for when you put a ring on this finger, Kim Hongjoong. Get ready to provide all the affection I want,” you grinned.

Hongjoong scoffed, wriggling to hold your body. He hid the small smile curling on his lips. "Good grief, woman."

[lustspren]

P.S.T EP. 9 | Superhero (Heroes & Villains) ft Ningning.

length: 7.9k words✦

Ningning & Male Reader

genres: little bit fluffy, oral sex, daddy kink, massage, blowjob, creampie, rescue mission lol

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Nothing more than a damn punished dog. That's what you were.

As expected, things took a drastic change from the night of the incident with Giselle. To begin with, the special treatment towards you by Noze and the rest of the staff was completely revoked, you still had your room and absolutely all the benefits you had before, but it was the tasks assigned to you that changed, this of course meant that now you were much busier than before, and the time you had to talk to the girls was quite little.

Giselle took some of the blame regarding the incident, and just like you she apologized to Noze for being so reckless, but Noze's Bitch Boss meter was through the roof. She completely forbade you from speaking to each other, not even by text message, for that she made sure to pick up both of your phones and delete your respective contacts, the punishment would only be in effect until you left San Francisco, but still it didn't make you or Aeri happy at all.

Karina, Winter and Ning were not very social towards you during those days either, the group was quite busy with agendas to attend to here and there, so you very rarely met in person, of course, this was the bird cage in which they had you locked up fault, all the time sending you along with the support staff and purposely keeping you as far away from the girls as possible. Ning, however, always left you a good night message and cared about you. You were very grateful for her closeness and warmth, but she wasn't the only bright part of that ordeal.

"And why are you in the dog house?" Yeji asked you on the other side of the screen while you were on FaceTime. You were in your room, lying on the back of the bed with the blanket up to your belly.

"Well..." you couldn't help but let out a small laugh at how ridiculous it was, "It was already after midnight when I received a message from Aeri, she wanted to meet at the hotel pool," you began to tell them, watching as everyone gathered to pay attention to what you were saying, "as you can imagine, things happened and well, when I took off the bottom of her swimsuit and the buttplug I forgot to leave them on the edge of the pool to take them later, I simply left them there, floating in the water," Yeji, Ryujin and Yuna couldn't help but laugh at you.

“You men really only think with your dick sometimes, damn,” Yeji mocked you between laughs.

"Hey hey, wait a minute," Ryujin intervened, "tell the story properly, I don't have any use for 'things happened', what did you do to her?"

"Why is it important for you to know?" you asked.

"Curiosity," she said, and at that moment you saw Chaery, who looked everywhere as if wanting to flee. Poor baby.

"Well, we kissed... I rubbed her pussy, and then I went under the water to eat her ass and pussy," as you told the story Ryujin and Yuna didn't even bother to hide their arousement, taking off their cotton shorts pajamas to put a hand in her panties, "then we went to her room and I fucked her ass."

"Fuck, I miss you eating my pussy daddy," Ryujin said in a seductive tone, rubbing her pussy under her panties just like Yuna.

"Julia unnie has been helping me play with my ass, daddy," Yuna said next to her, "I can't wait for you to come back so you can test me."

"Uh... I have to take a call, sorry," Chaery said, pointing to her phone, then disappearing from the frame. You sighed, knowing she wouldn't do such a thing, she just looked for an excuse to leave.

"Wonderful, now you've made these sluts really horny," Lia said with a sigh, even though you knew she was just as turned on as the two of them. You were about to respond when you heard a couple of knocks on your door. You already recognized that form of knocking, small knocks meant small hands. Noze.

“Fuck, I have to go,” you whispered into your phone’s microphone.

"Don't worry bitches, I'll take care of you two," was the last thing you heard Yeji say to Ryujin and Yuna before you hung up the call. You quickly stood up and went to open the door, meeting the dictator herself.

"Hello..." you said, watching as she entered your room in hasty steps without even asking first.

"Look, if it were up to me I would make you wait longer so you could get what you deserve," she said, crossing her arms in front of your bed.

"And?"

"You deserve a chance to redeem yourself," she said with a sigh, giving in in exchange for her pride.

"Wow... big bad bug got a bit of a soft spot huh?" you teased.

"Shut your mouth," she warned, and you smiled, going to sit on your bed, "look, the girls had dinner a few hours ago with some fashion brands representatives, you know, discussing contracts and stuff, everything was perfect with the other girls, but it happens that Ning ate something that made her very sick and now she is sick to her stomach."

“Oh, shit,” the smile faded from your face, and your protective instinct kicked in.

"I need you to go pick her up, as discreetly as you can, and bring her here without anyone noticing how bad she looks."

"How do you know she looks bad?"

"How do you look when you're sick to your stomach? Like a Prada model?" Noze raised both eyebrows.

"Fair enough," you said, letting out a breath of worry as you stood up, "and why aren't you there with them? It sounds like something you should be a part of."

"I'm just their manager, I'm in charge of their schedules and group activities, so their personal dealings don't concern me."

"Well, understood," you sighed, grabbing your wallet, your phone, and the cap you wore a few days ago, "where am I going?" you asked Noze walking towards the door.

"Write to her, she'll give you the location," she sat cross-legged on the bottom edge of the bed, "hey, I'm serious, there won't be any third chances, so don't screw this thing up... you can do it,” her tone of voice softened at the end, as if she were putting aside her bossy role and speaking to you like the Noze you had dinner with a few nights ago.

"Everything will be okay, I promise... and thank you," you nodded, with a small smile as you opened the door and prepared to leave, "Wait, wait, are you going to stay here or what?" you asked with a confused frown.

"Yep, I'll sleep naked here while you're gone, and I'll be gone before you can see me," she said with her hands resting on the mattress. You put on a poker face.

"You cannot be serious."

"It's part of your punishment, now get out and close the door."

And so you did, leaving the room with a face of disbelief and closing the door behind your back, walking down the hallway you daydreamed for a second, imagining the scene of Noze sleeping naked between your sheets. You quickly shook your head, remembering that you had a damsel in distress to rescue. You ran towards the reception.

You had to contact one of the staff members to get you the fastest car they had rented, you waited for a few minutes at the reception until the car keys were given to you. You went out to the street, and pressed a button on the key control so that this beep, the car turned out to be a sedan (a Nissan Altima, that year's version. They spared no expense, apparently) in black chrome and tinted windows, perfect for your mission.

Getting into the car and settling into the seat, you took out your phone to write to Ning.

Seven Hills was a very famous restaurant in San Francisco, so the mission was going to be a bit complicated, but you quickly opened Maps and set the course there, driving as fast as you could within the legal limits. When you arrived you stopped on the opposite side of the street where the restaurant was, as expected, you saw people with cameras positioned at strategic points that were more than obvious to the naked eye, you couldn't just walk in. You wrote to Ning again.

Before getting out, you made a U-turn with the car and parked right in front of the aforementioned wide alley. You turned off the car and put on your cap so that it covered your eyes and almost your nose before entering the alley. Ning wasn't completely wrong with her assumption, it wasn't a window, but a large green door that you assumed was where they took out the trash. You made sure that no one was watching you and entered, inside everything seemed calm and clear, and after searching for a few seconds you arrived at the bathrooms. You took out your phone again to let her know you were inside.

You waited for a few minutes until she finally caught up with you. She looked incredibly beautiful, with part of her hair tied up in a high bun and the rest hanging down her back; a short black dress, with prints of white circles and colored butterflies; she also wore a golden jewel necklace, and carried a handbag in her hand.

"Oh my god, thank you so much for coming," she said as soon as she saw you, going to give you a shy hug that you reciprocated.

"It's nothing, cutie," you said, separating yourself from her, looking in all directions, "do you need to use the bathroom before we go?"

"Part of maintaining my image is that I can last until we get to the hotel, so no, let's go," she said, holding onto your arm with both hands, her voice didn't sound convincing at all, and she looked dizzy too.

"I don't think that affects your image at all, you're human," you insisted, looking into her eyes.

"Honey, please just get me out of here," she asked you with desperate eyes, breathing through her mouth, a sign that she felt like throwing up.

"Alright, let's hurry," you took her hand and took the lead.

Time proved you right, because as soon as you left the alley Ning stopped dead, took a few deep breaths, and finally let go of your hand to run behind a large trash can, she fell to her knees, and vomited. You quickly knelt down next to her and made sure to gather all the hair from her face while you caressed her back.

"Fuck, this is so bad," she muttered between labored breaths, her face pale and looking down.

"You're with me, don't worry, you'll be fine," you reassured her, giving her a few small back massages with your only free hand.

You stayed watching over her for a few more long seconds, you would stay with her as long as necessary, but the sound of a shutter whipped you back to reality. You quickly turned around to see a paparazzi you hadn't seen sneak into the alley standing right in the middle of it, pointing the camera at you both and taking photo after photo. This was really bad, very bad.

You hated having to leave Ning there alone, but if you didn't do something right then and there, everything was going to go to hell. You stood up and like lightning you ran towards the paparazzi, a short man in his thirties with tan skin, greasy black hair and dressed like an NPC from GTA V.

"Oh boy, you don't know how much these photos will put a guillotine around your neck," the man said as soon as you approached, looking at the photos on his camera. His voice reminded you of Gargamel's, which made you even more disgusted, "Not only will she have her image ruined, but any intelligent person can spin enough dots and conclude that you're more than a friend." 

You clenched your fists tightly, controlling yourself not to give him the beating of his life right then and there. He wouldn't learn the hard way, his language was money.

"Listen to me, dog," you began, facing him less than a meter away, "do you know how much money is backing me?" Extreme situations required desperate measures, and that meant lying whenever necessary, "I can pay you three times what any journalist can pay you, and unless you want to get a life-ruining lawsuit, you're interested in negotiating with me."

"Then I listen to you, boy, because a juicy payment awaits me as soon as I deliver these babies," his laugh, disgusting and evil, screeched in your ears and made you snort.

"How much will they pay you for the photos?"

"Well, those are great shots and I'm the only photographer here, I'd estimate about 20 or 25k," as soon as you heard the figure your head hurt, you didn't know if he was lying to gain or what, but it was too much.

"I can offer you more than that, I assure you, I am SM's representative here in the United States."

“I don't care who you are, kid, talk to me about figures,” he seemed completely uninterested in the conversation, never looking you in the eye and always focused on something else. You took a deep breath.

"I offer you 30k."

"30k?" He laughed in disbelief, "I'm sure you in your position can offer more than that."

"50k."

"Make it 60k."

“50, you son of a bitch, don't play with my patience,” you threatened, jaw clenching. The man remained silent and for the first time he looked into your eyes, seeing a threatening and extremely angry face. He thought about it for a few seconds, then finally spoke.

"Alright, 50k then," he nodded, and then took out the SD card from his camera to throw it on the ground between your feet, then he took out a card from his back pocket and handed it to you, you looked at it, seeing that it was a presentation card with his phone number and his photograph, "you have one week to fulfill the deal, otherwise you will find a leading article on the Internet about a prominent SM man who beat up a photographer so that he would not leak inappropriate things to the public."

"You're a fucking bastard," you said, holding all the rage in your chest, and then picked up the SD card from the floor. Before he left, he hit himself in the forehead with his own fist, which took you by surprise, "What the fuck are you doing?!"

"I must have insurance in case you want to scam me," he laughed, somewhere between triumphant and pained by the blow, "see you later, kiddo, take good care of that girl."

As soon as the man left you ran towards Ning, who was leaning with her back against the wall looking terrible. Her gaze was completely lost and weak.

"We're leaving, baby, come here," you wrapped one of your arms around her waist to secure her to your body and walked as fast as you could with her towards the car. You made sure no one was watching you several times and opened the passenger door, reclining the seat as much as possible so that Ning could sit relaxed and comfortable. You placed her inside the car, put the seat belt on her and you rushed inside too, you started the car, and you started driving again on the streets of San Francisco, thinking about how the hell you were going to fulfill that deal without getting into big trouble.

As soon as you arrived at the hotel, you parked the car right where you had taken it when you left, you got out and picked up Ning to take her to the entrance of the hotel that they had prepared for you in case of emergency. You were able to make her walk during that first stretch, but when you barely entered through the service entrance her legs trembled and she almost fell, you had to carry her on a piggyback ride to her room.

When you entered Ning's room you dropped her on top of the extremely messy bed, full of small mountains of clothes in every corner.

"Fuck… thank you, really," she said in a small voice, her head resting on a pile of clothes.

"You have nothing to thank me for," you began to gather up all of Ning's clothes and stuff them into your open suitcase, "I would feel terrible if something happened to you."

"I heard a camera taking pictures… did you get them?"

"Yep," you grabbed Ning's head, lifted it to remove the pile of clothes from under it and replaced it with a pillow, "It wasn't easy," you threw the clothes into the suitcase.

"How?"

"Don't worry about that," you leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek and went to the bathroom, inside you opened the shower glass and turned on the water, adjusting it to a warm temperature, then you returned to her, "Come on, there's hot water waiting for you in the bathroom."

"Would you help me undress?" she asked, managing to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Uh... sure," you offered her your hands to take and help her stand up. Once she did, you closed your eyes and reached for the straps of her dress to start pulling it down in a rather clumsy way.

"May I know why you close your eyes, silly?" she asked with a weak giggle.

"You're vulnerable right now, I don't want to be a jerk and take advantage of it," you responded, managing to pull her dress down to her heels.

"You've already seen every part of my naked body, and that was consensual."

"I know, but this time you're sick," you groped her fleshy body looking for her waist, when you found the hem of her panties, you also lowered them to her heels.

"Honey, you're so cute, really, but you can see," she insisted, giving you a peck on your chin before you opened your eyes and admired her incredibly beautiful and hot body.

"God, I'm impressed by how good you look despite feeling this bad," you said, staring at her pretty round tits as you removed the rings from her fingers and the necklace from her neck.

"My legs and feet are sore from the last show," she sighed, "this was the last thing I needed."

"You'll be better soon, now go to the shower, I have to tell Noze that everything is okay," you nodded towards the bathroom, and she nodded.

"Will you come back?" She said taking small steps as she looked at you.

"Of course, I won't be long," you assured, and then turned your back on her to walk towards the door. You turned one last time, watching her beautiful figure as she went into the bathroom, then you walked out of the room to write to Noze.

When you sent the messages you rushed to your room to go get some things you had brought on the trip in case of emergencies, massage oil, skin cream, moisturizer, and a pain relieving ointment that you personally used. You returned to Ning's room, and as you closed the door you heard that the shower was still running and that Ning was not outside the bathroom. You quickly left all the things you had gone to get from your room on the bed and ran to the bathroom, finding Ning still inside the shower, standing perfectly with her entire body wet, including her hair now loose.

"I was starting to think I'd run out of water before you got here," she said when she saw you, "would you join me?" you sighed in relief.

"I almost had a heart attack, I thought you had fainted," you said, taking off all your clothes.

"Oh come on, you're exaggerating," she said with a giggle.

"I've passed out for less," as soon as you entered the shower she turned around and carefully got on her knees, taking your flaccid cock in one hand and bringing it to her mouth, "Hey, what are you doing?" you said taking a quick step back.

"What? I already brushed my teeth and I feel better," she said, looking at you with eyes like a scolded puppy, "I wanted to reward my golden armor knight."

"It has nothing to do with your mouth or anything like that, you have nothing to reward me for darling," you took her by the arms and carefully lifted her to her feet, "the only thing I want right now is to take care of you," you said, looking into her eyes and cradling her face with both hands. Your gazes were fixed on each other's for a few long seconds until you broke the ice, "Can I… kiss you?"

"As much as you want..." she said softly, looking at your lips, and you leaned forward to kiss her. She pressed her chest against yours, and you wrapped your arms around her body to deepen the slow, loving kiss you shared at that moment. The moment she wrapped her arms around your neck and caressed the hair on the back of your neck you felt things in your stomach, strong feelings fluttering and growing gradually. A point of no turning back that would bring you more than one problem later.

"Alright... enough, princess," you murmured against her lips, and you both smiled, "turn around, please."

"Sure," she nodded before turning her back on you. It was time to bring out the skills that had put you where you were in the first place.

You put your hands on Ning's shoulders and began to apply pressure with your thumbs on her shoulder blades. She sighed in satisfaction, and you slowly moved your hands up to her neck and then back down to her shoulders. You continued lower, massaging up her ribs and down to her lower back, always with slow, nice movements for her.

"Are you enjoying it?" you murmured in her ear, noticing that she had her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open.

"My god, yes..." she said, taking a deep breath, "You know? I've been putting others first for so long that I don't even know what it feels like to be pampered... I'd like to know what it feels like to be put first," That reminded you so much of a person that it even hurt your heart a little, but you preferred not to say anything.

"I'm putting you first right now," you said, massaging her waist.

"And I thank you for that, you really are like an angel."

"Well, I'm far from being an angel, darling, I just do what I think is right," you placed a small kiss on her neck, and continued with the massage for a while until you reached out to turn off the shower faucets, "Come on, I'll help you dry off."

"You have magic hands, you know?" She told you as you got out of the shower.

"That's just a little sample," you smiled, grabbing a towel and running it all over your body to dry it off, "go to bed and lie on your stomach, I'll be right there."

She nodded and left you alone in the bathroom, where you took advantage of the moment to wash your face thoroughly before going out to the room, where you found Ning already face down, her head resting on a pillow and her arms underneath it.

"Don't blame me if... you know, you see something wet," she said, hearing that you had left the bathroom.

"Oh don't worry, I know that's going to be my fault," you said with a smile, grabbing the pain ointment you'd brought with you to start spreading it over her feet, her calves, and her thighs as you massaged every little tense muscle. Ning's body began to relax more and more, and it was time to apply the ointment now all over her back and her arms.

The massage oil you had brought was quite light, perfect for situations where you wanted it to dry quickly and not leave the person's body oily for a long time. You began to pour it, first on her feet, massaging between her toes, sole and heel, then you went up to her calves, from where you poured long lines of oil that reached her ass, where you ended up with a couple of circles.

You massaged her calves, the back of her knees and her soft thighs, spreading all the oil very well in a delicate and silent way. When you were done there it was time to move on to what you knew would be your favorite part. You began to spread the oil over her two cute round buttocks, squeezing them every few seconds and rubbing parts of her pussy with your fingers or the backs of your hands. Her slit was visibly wet now, and you saw fit to move out of there so she wouldn't get too horny.

You now concentrated on her back, applying the same process as with the rest of her body, it was when you were massaging her shoulders that she started to fall asleep.

"Hey... can you stay the night with me?" She asked in a small, sleepy voice, as you gently worked her arms.

"Of course princess," you leaned forward, tucked her hair behind her ear and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

You continued the massage for a few minutes until she fell fast asleep, with her body now perfectly moisturized, relaxed and smelling very good. You took the things you had used and left them on the nightstand, to take your phone and lie down next to Ning and write to Noze again.

When you finished the conversation, you left the phone next to your pillow, right on the edge of the bed, and carefully covered yourself and Ning with the blanket, to put an arm over her naked body and snuggle warmly against her. Her skin was extremely soft, and her body was like a small moldable cloud, you breathed in the smell of her hair, and when you gave her a kiss on her forehead she stirred until she lay on her side and put her face on your neck; her chest pressed against yours, and she raised one leg so that you could put yours between her, an extremely intimate position that once again revived your memories.

You tried to fall asleep, but you didn't get more than a light sleep for a very long time. All the stress of the day and the thoughts fluttering in your head like a furious wasp's nest kept you awake for hours that seemed eternal, you would fall asleep for about half an hour, and you would wake up again, when you were going for the fifth time you checked your phone, realizing that there were only two hours left until you had to be in the lobby.

You knew that you weren't going to get any more sleep than that, so you resignedly ran your fingers continuously along Ning's lower back, with your face resting on your hand and your elbow on the pillow. You admired her beauty in complete silence, watching her pretty face as she slept so peacefully that even she made you envious. She moved a little, and you stopped immediately not wanting to wake her, but when she returned to her sleep you continued running the tips of your fingers over the soft skin of her waist and her lower back under the blanket.

In one of those movements your fingers reached her ass, and there you found no turning back, beginning to trace soft circles on her buttocks before going up again to her back, where you caressed her from top to bottom with your full palm.

"Don't even bother stopping anymore..." she murmured just loud enough for you to hear, and you were surprised.

"How long have you been awake?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Since you started touching me like that..." she said with a mischievous smile, her eyes still closed.

"God, I'm sorry I woke you up," you sighed.

"You don't have to apologize at all, I like it," when she said that she put a hand on your abdomen, caressing it slowly, "go ahead, keep going."

You continued as she asked, gently caressing her back for a few seconds and purposely moving down to her butt to rub it with the palm of your hand, feeling the soft flesh of each buttock between your fingers. Ning sighed softly and began to pant, that was when she brought her hand to your cock, using her palm to rub it from your tip to your balls.

"Mmm... good morning then, I guess," you murmured, and she slowly opened her eyes to look at you with a little smile.

"Morning sweetheart," she murmured back, bringing your cock to full hardness in a matter of seconds. She wrapped her fingers around it and started moving her hand very slowly, making you gasp at how warm she felt. You unconsciously brought your hand between her buttocks, and with your fingers you began to gently rub her slit, feeling how her folds were beginning to get wetter and wetter.

"Fuck… is this what every morning is like with you?" you asked between gasps, rubbing her pussy as she slowly masturbated you.

"With you, yes," she whispered before leaning in to kiss you. Your lips were involved in a sensual and passionate dance that made Ning moan, while your hands slowly worked on each other's intimacy. You laid your head back on the pillow, and she rested half of her torso on top of yours, one of her tits pressing against your chest, "Can I suck your cock this time, sweetheart?" she asked against your lips after a while of masturbating each other.

"I'm all yours right now, so go ahead," you nodded, pulling the blanket off you with a single tug, revealing your two naked bodies.

"So all mine huh? I like the sound of that," she pulled away from you and positioned herself so that the side of her body was resting on one of your thighs, her ass facing you and her face just centimeters from your cock.

"And you? Would you be all mine?" you shot, grabbing one of her buttcheeks and caressing it gently, seeing her pretty wet pussy and her beautiful back. She looked at you over her shoulder.

"I've been yours since you looked into my eyes on that plane, you just didn't realize it."

-Oh my fucking god- you thought, completely blown away by how completely crazy about her you were becoming. Without noticing it your cheeks became hot, but you didn't have time to blush when she took your cock inside her mouth.

Her warm mouth made you moan loudly as she slowly took in every inch of your throbbing cock. You brought your hand to her waist, gripping it with your fingers and delighting in how Ning's soft lips clung just inches from your base. She began to gently suck up and down, using her tongue to swirl around your tip each time she went up and to lick the front of your shaft each time she went down.

You knew she was good at sucking cock from your episode on the plane, but there, the two of you alone, with the bright light of the California morning sun filtering through the sides of the blinds illuminating the room, and the cold temperature of the air, she turned your comfortable intimacy into confidence when it came to demonstrating her skills and pleasing you.

Her pumps sent shivers all over your body because of how good they felt, taking almost all of your cock in and out of her mouth with slow and sensual movements. You brought your hand to her ass to squeeze her buttock again, and wanting to return the favor you licked your index and middle fingers to take them directly to her wet slit, running your fingers between her folds again and again until you stopped to rub her clit in circles.

Ning began to moan softly against your cock, sending vibrations along your shaft and urging you to continue rubbing her pussy the best way you could considering what her sensitive spots seemed to be. Your fingers were soaked in a matter of seconds, and you took advantage of this to slowly introduce them into her pussy, which gave way without any complications so that your fingers could be impaled to the core.

Ning's response was to slowly take you deep into her throat, her nose resting against your pubes.

"Oh my fucking god Ning..." you said loudly, using your free hand to squeeze her butt cheek as you gently but consistently pumped your fingers in and out of her pussy.

After a few seconds, Ning coughed a few times against your cock and took you out of her mouth with a strong gasp of air. She looked at you again over her shoulder with eyes full of desire and her mouth half open, letting you see your cock soaked in saliva and how the tip connected to her lips with thin white threads. She dove back in, considerably increasing the pace of her blowjob for less than a minute until you stopped her.

She looked confused, but you subtly grabbed the back of her neck so she could bring her face closer to yours and you could kiss her. You shared a sloppy kiss for a few long seconds, your arm around Ning's waist and her hand running up and down your slick cock.

"Would you eat me, daddy?" She asked you with a low and sensual voice in the middle of a moan, while she ate your mouth.

"Why are you suddenly calling me that?" you asked back, visibly turned on by that. More kisses.

"I don't know… it just came out naturally," more kisses and more moans, "don't you like it?"

"Fuck, you drive me crazy, how can I not like it?" you squeezed her butt, "and yeah, of course I can eat you, baby."

With that you subtly moved away from her and left her with her head resting on her pillow. You settled between her legs and lay face down, with your head between her thighs and your face a few centimeters from her pussy. You dedicated yourself to first placing small kisses on her thighs, licking the inside of them while you and she looked into each other's eyes every few seconds. She bit her lower lip, and gently played with her tits, imploring you with her eyes to devour her.

You had no intention of making her wait, so after a few more kisses around her pussy you planted your tongue flat between her silky folds and licked very slowly upwards, finding your way to her clit to kiss, suck and lick it again and again. Ning's moans were your cue to know which spots to hit and which not to hit, and before long she completely melted thanks to your mouth.

You grabbed your hands on each of her thighs, putting gentle pressure on them while your tongue worked as best you could on her clit. Ning brought one hand to your head and tangled her fingers in the strands of your hair to pull it gently, her body squirming very slightly, and her other hand playing with one of her tits, then you realized that was the only part of her that you had not touched yet.

You let go of Ning's thighs and moved your hands up to rest on her pair of soft, round mounds, squeezing them like two stress balls and using your fingers to play with her hard nipples, all while attacking her pussy with the dedication and perfection that a princess like she deserved.

Ning brought her hands on top of yours as you massaged her tits, and as the pleasure built inside her body, her thighs slowly closed to the point of making a sandwich with your head in the middle. Her skin felt soft on either side of your face, like two clouds that you were more than delighted to be between.

You doubled your efforts, eating out her pussy with rapid licks and perfectly controlled sucks that drove her crazy in a matter of seconds.

"Oh god daddy!" she moaned loudly, holding onto your wrists tightly, "I'm going to cum, please don't stop!" Her pretty prayers did nothing but urge you to continue eating her pussy ferociously, and in a matter of a few seconds Ning exploded in a maelstrom of moans and spasms. Her thighs pressed on either side of your head, and you had the feeling that she was holding back with the intention of not hurting you, a detail that you found adorable.

You collected her juices and licked her with gusto throughout her orgasm, and when her body relaxed she released your head from between her thighs. You stood up and knelt between her legs.

"Did my princess like that?" you asked before leaning forward and Ning grabbed your face to kiss you between gasps.

"Fuck, I loved it," she moaned against your lips, "but I need your cock inside me, daddy," she reached between your bodies and grabbed your cock to rub it between her folds, "fuck me, I'm begging you," she continued kissing your lips, and placed small kisses on your chin.

"You don't need to beg so much, baby," you said softly, returning her kisses but all over her face, "go ahead and put it in yourself," you dove into her neck, giving her little kisses and licks. Ning obeyed your order, and guided your cock to her entrance so that you only had to push forward slightly and bury yourself completely inside her silky pussy.

"Fuuuuuuck!" Ning whimpered, desperately searching for your lips to kiss between heavy pants. You reciprocated her kiss, your senses completely overwhelmed by how soft and wet her pussy felt around your cock, completely disappeared between her folds.

You had never felt a pussy like hers, so silky, soft and wet, she already drove you crazy, but that only made you now completely obsessed and at her mercy.

Ning grabbed her legs around your torso, and you began to slowly pump back and forth, your cock sliding in and out of her pussy as if it were molded especially for you. You rested your forearms on either side of her head, and she wrapped her arms around your neck as you moaned into each other's mouths.

You gradually increased your speed, and that led to more muffled whimpers against your mouth. She caressed the hair on the back of your neck, and then moved her hands down your back to do exactly the same, other girls would have scratched you there in all the pleasure, but she made sure not to hurt you in any way, she just limited herself to press your skin with her little fingers.

You lowered your head and took one of her tits into your mouth, it didn't surprise you to realize how extremely good it felt to suck on her nipples and lick around them, at this point you knew that every corner of Ning's body was like manipulating a cloud of cotton candy.

Her moans were released into the air, loud and passionate as you fucked her at a faster and more consistent pace, without reaching the point of being harsh with her but giving her deep thrusts that she felt in every hidden corner of her body. She grabbed your head with both hands and tangled her fingers in your hair, pressing your head down to sink between her delicious tits, which you sucked and put into your mouth hungrily.

You continued thrusting in and out for about another minute until Ning gently tugged at your hair; you knew she was going to cum, so you lifted your head from her tits and dove back into her lips, lovingly cradling her face in your hands as you gave her the final thrusts. Ning soon exploded a second time, this time around your cock.

Her spasms were present once again, this time stronger, more intense and abundant, she whimpered loudly against your lips, and her legs wrapped around your torso to hold herself in place as you continued to pump slowly through her orgasm. After a few seconds, her spasms stopped, and you separated from her lips to straighten your back, she let go of your torso and opened her legs wide open, staring into her eyes with a blushing face. 

"You... you fuck me so well... and you don't treat me like I'm an object," she murmured, looking at you with bright, loving eyes, "you're so... so... god, you drive me insane," you You were holding back as best you could from running away and screaming at the sky, once again your cheeks felt hot, but this time you did blush.

"Once I cum inside you you'll feel like heaven, then," you said with a mischievous little smile, hiding your red cheeks. You pulled your cock out of her pussy, and being already quite well lubricated and slippery, you pressed it against her butthole slowly, but Ning stopped you with a hand on your abdomen.

"No, honey," she said breathlessly, "I want to give you that, but I'm not ready right now, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for, I will gladly fill that pretty pussy of mine," you leaned down to give her another small kiss on the lips before knelt up, grabbing her legs by the back of the knees and putting them together to insert yourself again inside her pussy.

"Oh yes daddy, please fill my pussy!" Ning moaned as she felt you again deep in her pussy, "your princess needs that load."

Concentrated and determined to give her what she was demanding, you began pumping in and out of her again, resuming your rapid thrusts but this time adding a bit of roughness which she received without the slightest complaint. Her tits began to bounce, and her body began to shake with each of your crashes against her.

Ning had started moaning too loudly, so she grabbed the pillow her head was resting on and used it to bite it, muffling squeals and grunts against it as you fucked her fast and hard. Your breathing was extremely agitated between your gasps and your moans, a product of how good her wet pussy was making you feel.

You put her legs over your shoulders and leaned forward, pressing her knees against her tits as you began to pump now up and down, your hands resting on the mattress on either side of her body. Ning held on tightly to the pillow, biting it and looking at you with crystallized eyes that let you know how extremely good you were making her feel.

All the pleasure she had been building in you soon took its toll, you felt a tingle in your stomach, and completely unaware of yourself, you began to fuck her now with absolutely all your strength. Ning bit the pillow again, now muffling screams against it, and a few furious thrusts were enough until with a strong thrust you began to spill your thick, hot load into Ning's pussy.

As soon as she felt your cum inside her walls, Ning had another orgasm, twice as strong and intense as the previous one, she buried her face against the pillow, and her pelvis began to shake and tremble up and down. You couldn't do anything but moan like crazy at the overwhelming sensation of cumming inside a girl you felt so attracted to.

"Do you like daddy's cum inside your pussy, princess?" you asked between gasps, moving slower as you made sure to leave absolutely every drop of your seed inside her. Ning removed the pillow from her face and threw it on the floor.

"My god, you don't know how much I love it, daddy!" she responded with a squeal, arching her back and throwing her head back.

You let her legs free and she spread them out to the sides of her so you could lean forward and kiss her, and when you stopped pumping your cock you realized how exaggeratedly wet she felt.

"Wait, you squirted?" you asked in the middle of the kiss, looking into her eyes. She looked confused.

"I don't know, I didn't even know I could do that," she replied, and you stood up again to slowly pull your cock out, letting the cum flow freely down her slit and onto the sheet.

"Well, apparently," you said with a giggle, "I'll go get you something to clean-"

"No! Wait," she said, bringing two fingers to her pussy and collecting a significant amount of thick liquid to take it to her mouth, taste it and swallow it, "give me the rest with your fingers," you were speechless for a few seconds.

"F-fuck, sure," you said, scooping up as much cum as you could with your fingers to bring it to Ning's mouth, she sucked them hard, looking into your eyes until she got them completely clean.

"I've been wanting to swallow your cum ever since that time on the plane when that bitch Jimin took what was mine," she said matter-of-factly, as if she hadn't made you rethink what the hottest thing you'd ever seen was. your life.

"The wait was worth it?"

"It was worth every second, that was amazing," she sighed with a small smile, "if I have to get sick to be pampered and feel loved, I will definitely do it more often."

"God, please don't do it," you laughed, and lay down next to her, "there's no need, believe me," she picked up the first phone she could get her hands on (yours) and checked the time.

"We still have 45 minutes before we have to leave, can you cuddle with me a little longer?" she asked you in a small, adorable voice.

"Of course, sweetie," you gently took the phone from her hand and settled a pillow behind your heads. Ning rested her head on your chest, wrapping an arm over your torso and a thigh over your abdomen to cuddle warmly against you. You hugged her with both arms, snuggling her against you to give her a small kiss on the head.

"Would you... tell me more about yourself?" she asked shyly, and you smiled.

"I'll happily do it, ask and I'll answer."

--------------------------------------

[caesium-55]

—everything is orange. [ ii ]

pairing: lando norris x kpop idol! reader

summary: a racecar driver who needed a fake girlfriend to dispel rumors and a kpop idol who needed publicity for her song. somewhere in between orange cars and orange sunsets, stands something they're afraid of naming.

warning/s: graphic description of blood and gore, body insecurity, lando might be a lil ooc

masterlist.

God bless Jinnie Jo and her overly prepared self because you thought you’d die when you got attacked by the damn shellfish allergy in the car on the way to the hotel. It's fortunate that Jinnie happens to carry around your allergy meds. You dry-swallow the tablets without hesitation, uttering your thanks to Jinnie.

“Song Dan-ssi gave me a list of your allergy meds before we left,” Jinnie tells you. Warmth floods your chest. Manager-nim may be in another country but he never fails to take care of you. You're definitely going to buy something for Manager-nim when you return to Seoul. A jacket perhaps?

The first thing you do the moment you enter your hotel room is kick your boots off, take a warm shower, and reunite with the love of your life—the bed. The mattress swallows you whole and you let out a content sigh as you allow your body to sink in it. Not even ten minutes later, you grab your bag, which you have haphazardly thrown on the bed, take out your phone, and open the X app. You type Lando’s name in the search box.

username1: i am disgusted by the people who still support lando norris like yall really support a man who got a girl pregnant and refusing to take responsibility? i just know mclaren is lying when they said he's not the father

username2: justice for the girl that lando norris got pregnant! he should be kicked out of mclaren!

username3: that girl lucky bc her baby daddy is THE lando norris. she should tell us how he fucks in great detail

You cringe. Your fingers tap the three buttons at the upper right corner and without hesitation, pressing report. You continue to scroll down the tweets, reading them one by one as the clock ticks.

username4: what lie will mclaren tell again to protect little lando norris?

Your phone pings. A notification bar appears on the upper portion of your phone screen. You have received a message. You stop reading the tweet and open your messages app.

unknown number: hey

unknown number: this is lando

unknown number: your boyfriend?

unknown number: the fake one

You immediately save his number in your contacts. You name him Lando Norris.

you: hey there

you: do i just call you lando or

lando: you can call me baby

You snigger at his flirting attempt. Ten points for trying, Lando Norris.

you: okay baby

lando: 😳

lando: okay

lando: we agreed on hard launching each other in socmed right?

you: yah

lando: i kinda don't have a picture of you?

lando: pr told me to ask you if you can send me one

lando: i’ll send you one too

you: i have an idea

you: put me on your story

lando: yeah im planning to do exactly that

lando: have you been listening to what we talked about earlier in the meeting?

you: then delete it after a few mins

lando: wait why

you: make it look like you did it on accident

Your first mistake in your first PR relationship with another idol is that you immediately hard-launched each other on Instagram after Dispatch released his pictures kissing a guy in a bar. People got skeptical and most of them called out your relationship as a PR stunt. They called you a cover up, which you were, but they weren't supposed to know that.

You're not going to make the same mistake twice.

lando: and this will work?

you: let's not shake the confidence i have

lando: 😂

you: people are already expecting mclaren to set a pr stunt so you can gain the public’s hearts back

you: u have to make yourself look like you never needed a pr stunt in the first place, that you’re not trying to win the public back

you: people will catch up if you suddenly post that you have a girlfriend in the middle of your hot issue

you: netizens are quickwitted theyre not as dumb as most of us think

You hope you're explaining it well. You're trying to make your point as clear as possible but it's hard. You forgot the other English words you’ve learned.

lando: okay i get ur point

lando: i’ll do what u want

lando: someone has to tell pr what u planned though

lando: it's not going to be me

Fuck the PR. You're not going to tell them and let them have a field day tomorrow. That's what they get for expecting you to sign that stupid first contract they made.

You open your camera app and take a quick selfie.

No. Your nose looks too big at that angle.

Again.

Now, your forehead looks like an airport.

Again.

Your teeth are showing. The coffee stains are visible.

Again.

Again.

Again.

you: *sent a photo*

lando: i

lando: help me with the caption? my braincells flew off

you: idk not good at captions

you: just say hello loml or smth

This is the story you want to tell:

You met Lando a year after you departed from ORACLE in Australia.

You have a mutual friend—named Tori Allen—who introduced you to one another. Tori Allen does not exist. She's just the fictional side character of your love story.

You started out as friends. Lando is freshly out from a breakup and you’re just trying to live a quiet life after your fall from grace.

You talked for months because of your mutual interest in cars. Eventually, you started going on casual dates.

You asked Lando to keep it secret. He said yes in respect to you. HAN Entertainment already released a press statement regarding your mental health status after the 2021 incident so the public would assume that this was the reason why.

The relationship turned serious three months before Lando’s scandal.

Lando never got the girl pregnant. He never touched that girl. He was loyal to you.

Jinnie almost breaks down the door the next morning. You open it before she can do so. She angrily stomps inside your room and you close the door behind her. Her face is red, her expression taut.

“It's seven,” your eyebrows crease together. You make a quick glance at the phone in your hand. 7:22, the clock in your lockscreen projects. “You told me we are supposed to meet at twelve.”

“McLaren PR called me up,” Jinnie informs you. You’re beginning to get an idea where this conversation is going. “You didn't do what we agreed on.”

“And what did we agree on?” you cross your arms over your chest. You flutter your eyelashes innocently at her.

“That you’re going to choose photos to post on each of your accounts and let PR handle the captions. Norris posted something immediately without PR checking it and deleted it!”

“Did he tell you that it was my idea?”

“No, but I know that it was and it turns out I’m right. You just confirmed it.”

“Did it work?” you question.

“I can't with you!” she throws her hands up in the air, frustrated. “We are supposed to follow orders!”

“No,” you say. “You are supposed to follow orders. That's what Yoon PD-nim told you. He told me to do what I believed was best.”

You open X. Lando’s name is at the top of the trending list. You press his name and read through the tweets that appeared.

username5: LANDO NORRIS WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOR

username6: EVERYONE HERE ARE THE RECEIPTS *screenshot*

username7: is this what you call the freudian slip lol

username8: I AM NOT CRAZY GUYS LANDO ACCIDENTALLY STORIED HIS GF IN HIS PUBLIC ACC

username9: he deleted it so quick too 😭 im sure the man panicked

username10: HE CHEATED ON HIS GF AND GOT A GIRL PREGNANT??!?

username11: for all we know he didn't even bang that girl 🤷 his girlfriend’s pretty hot he’s definitely not cheating on her

username10: men cheat on their pretty wives and girlfriends all the time

username12: not lando norris that man’s in love LOVE can u see his caption

username13: the caption??? lando’s pretty smooth with his words

username14: he’s taking smooth operator lessons from carlos

username15: im crazy but what if this is just a pr stunt 🤔

username16: girl he won't delete the story in a panic if it's a pr stunt

username17: he was definitely going to post it in his priv and made a mistake 😭

username18: very lando of him

username17: he stronger than me bc if my girlfriend was that pretty, her face will be flooding my instagram

username19: ignore lando, his girl tho 😳

username20: he called her loml omgggg

username21: booo luisa’s prettier

username22: fok off and move on

username23: lando can you fight? meet me at the kfc parking lot and let's fight

username24: probably not but he can run you over with his car

username25: i swear ive seen that girl before i just cant pinpoint where

username26: IT'S [NAME] EX MEMBER OF ORACLE WE HAVENT SEEN HER SINCE 2021

username27: so he bagged a kpop girlie??? lando got game dayummm

username28: isn't [name] an illegal street racer? that's why she got kicked out of the group right?

username29: an f1 racer and a street racer couple 😳 omg what in booktok is this

username30: she's not a streetracer she only watched the street race

username28: she told you that herself?

username30: her company did

username31: THEY CANT BE DATING OMG LANDO YOU CAN DO BETTER SHE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE A WAG

username32: and u think ur better than her?

“It's working,” you state. You turn to Jinnie, raising your phone in the air and waving it. A smug smirk spreads to your lips. “It's working.”

Nobody is doubting the relationship like the time with Minhyung. This is a good start. Now, onto the next part.

“So are we really going to keep having lunch dates until your race?” you poke the shrimp on the plate with your fork. You're having pasta again. In the same place, too. It sucks but you swallow the food and smile as if you’re enjoying the meal.

For today's outfit, Jinnie chose a Valentino Garavani black midi dress paired with Jimmy Choo Antia leather sandals. Lando matched your outfit with a black silk button up and off-white pants. You’re both playing the “looking like a couple” card well.

“I believe so,” Lando says. You mentally count the days of the calendar in your head. The FP1 is scheduled to begin in two days. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask….”

“Hm?”

“The team didn't scold you a lot, did they?”

“They didn’t,” you give him a tight smile. Did he worry? For you? That's very sweet of him. “Why would they? My plan went great.”

Lando nods, “It did. You’re good at this.”

You smile at his compliment, shrugging a shoulder. I’m supposed to be good at this. I have no other choice.

“Let's show them our story,” you say. “Show, not tell. People are more inclined to believe actions rather than words. Show them the story we want them to know and we don't answer their questions early so we can keep the attention and the curiosity on us. Once the timing is right, you answer their questions, one by one. This is risky because if we don't act right, we’re done….”

You set the fork down and finally stop terrorizing the poor shrimp. It's completely obliterated now.

“But I believe we can act right,” honesty bleeds through your words. “You're lovable and you already act like a sweet boyfriend without trying.”

Lando purses his lips and averts his gaze. You see pink dusting his cheeks.

“I try.”

“Nice try,” your words come out dry. You give him a thumbs-up. “Also, I’m full.”

“You only ate half your plate,” Lando points out.

“The portion is too big. I’m a light eater.”

HAN Entertainment is partly to blame for that. You got accustomed to their extreme diets and small meal portions that you cannot even eat more than a small bowl of rice.

“Do you not like the food?” he asks, concerned.

You don’t answer the question. Instead, you lace your fingers together and rest your chin on them, leaning slightly forward.

“I have another plan. Wanna hear it?”

You still don't like having attention to yourself. The feeling of having eyes watching your every move, waiting for you to make a mistake still terrifies you. But attention, the right kind especially, is a weapon. You need a weapon to fight this war. A war to build your career again.

“Keep them on their toes,” the instructor of your PR training class once said. “Give them what they want piece by piece, just enough to keep them wanting more, but never give them everything.”

Until now, you still abide by her teachings. God bless Kim Gaon-ssi and her big brain, wherever she is now. She resigned from HAN entertainment a year ago.

It's been a few days since Lando pulled that stunt in his Instagram story and yet, the attention you're receiving from the fans is not simmering down. You didn't expect anyone to be this involved or curious about a driver's love life but here everyone was.

You wake up at seven and then proceed to spend an hour on your phone while lying in bed to push all the sleepiness away from your system. You leave your bed at nine, change out of your sleeping wear, perform a whole morning ritual inside the bathroom, and by eleven, you send Jinnie a message to get brunch and invite her to eat together inside the privacy of your hotel room. She arrives after fifteen minutes with hotel service food. You eat until twelve thirty and after eating, you begin to get ready.

The free practice session is at 5:30 PM. You can afford a bit more time to get ready so you shower again. It took you nearly two hours. In the meantime, Jinnie prepares your clothes.

You mentally thank the heavens when you see trousers neatly folded on your bed. If Jinnie forces you to wear dresses again, you’re going to lose it. You're conscious of how big your thighs look. You don't even have a thigh gap. Big thighs, small ankles, and muscular calves. They're just a few of your numerous bodily insecurities.

Jinnie pairs the Moon Choi black back pocket trousers with a Dior Toile de Jouy Sauvage silk top. For the shoes, she chooses a pair of white Fila chunky sneakers. She helps you apply your makeup and fix your hair. To finish the look, you grab your black cross body bag, smart watch, sunglasses, and a black ball cap.

Jinnie snatches the ball cap from your hands and replaces it with a McLaren ball cap. A tacky orange with the number four. You raise your brow at her. She gives you a pointed look, a look that says: don’t even try to protest. You sigh, resigned, and pull it onto your head.

She scans your appearance, dragging her coal eyes from the top of your head to your toes. She huffs, satisfied.

“You look perfect.”

Perfect is the goal.

Jinnie drives you to the race venue. She drops you off at the parking lot. She's not happy with it. Jinnie wanted to come. You told her no. You can handle this little act alone. You don’t see an ex-idol with a manager, do you?

The moment you exit the car, you slip on your mask. Figuratively and literally. You tip your ball cap upwards to scan your surroundings, searching for the way in. You carry your phone in your right hand and your paddock pass in the left. Lando gave it to you during dinner yesterday.

A racing event is crowded with people. That's a given. Perhaps not as crowded as a concert but still crowded nonetheless. A stage will not separate you from the people nor a barricade. Unfortunately. You have no bodyguard, no manager, no HAN Entertainment staff.

You're not here as ORACLE’s [Name] but as Lando Norris’ girlfriend.

Your feet lead you to a path where there are less people. You message Lando that you’ve arrived. He replies in a matter of seconds.

lando: ill come and get you

lando: wait for me

You remove your cap, fix your hair, before pulling the cap on. You spot a man with a Nikon DSLR standing a good distance. He is wearing a cord around his neck. The word MEDIA is printed in bold white letters. Your lips curl a little underneath your face mask.

It is show time.

During your trainee years, acting classes are mandatory. You know the basics. You're confident that you're good at acting. If you weren't, the company wouldn't have pushed you to act in two dramas as a side character during your rookie years. You received a reward for your performances, too.

To look lost, you have to keep glancing around you as if you’re contemplating which way to go. You have to look unsure of your actions. Hesitant. You have to constantly look at your phone as if you’re reading directions in it or texting someone to tell you where you should be going. You have to scratch your nape a few times to express nervousness. You're in a place you don’t know, it’s natural to be nervous.

Someone is bound to approach you and help you. When they do, you remove the cap but not the mask and then hope they know who you are. When they don't, well…. that's a problem for future you. You haven't thought that far.

“Hi, excuse me, do you need help?”

You perk up. Orange fills your view. A group of four girls have approached you and they all wear twinning McLaren merch. You can see that three of them sport the number four in their shirts, Lando’s race number. You involuntarily swallow.

There was a case once where a rookie actress got beaten up by her idol boyfriend’s fans promptly after the release of their dating news. Fans can be so jealous to the point of violence. It's a toxic fan culture. That's why so many Kpop idols resort to keeping their relationships private and secret. You hope you won’t get beaten up.

But also, given that they’re McLaren and Lando fans, there is a high possibility that they’ll recognize you. Which is exactly what you wanted. So you push that stupid fear aside and keep the show going.

“Hi, uh,” you remove your cap and lower your face mask until it's bunched up below your nose. “I’m kind of…lost? Do you know the way to the, uh…”

You forget what it's called. McLaren garage? You don't remember the exact word Lando used. You're still not confident that you know the difference between a paddock, a garage, and a livery.

“Wait, I know you!”

You purposely widen your eyes.

“You’re Lando’s girlfriend!”

You smile sheepishly, scratching your cheek with your finger.

The girls break out into loud and high-pitched squeals. Their voices are so shrill that you cannot help but wince. You motion for them to quiet down. Inwardly, you want them to keep being loud. Loud enough to warrant the attention of the photographer, your target.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, we absolutely have to take a selfie!”

You barely understand her rapid spitfire of words until she takes out her phone. Panic instantly swells within you.

This is not the plan. You only wanted one person to take the necessary picture. Not this.

You hastily slap your hand over the lower half of your face. You stagger backwards and stumble against a sturdy wall. Your hands fly out to your sides as you feel yourself lose your balance. Two hands grip your shoulders and you hear a surprised woah! from behind you. You lift your head.

It's not a wall. It's Lando.

His beautiful, beautiful eyes gaze down at you. The colors look lighter under the sun. His thick brows are furrowed together, his forehead creasing.

Lando spins you around so you're face-to-face with his hard chest. You squint at the multiple logos printed on the long-sleeves he’s wearing. Is this what he wears when he races? He swiftly takes the McLaren ball cap off your hand and puts it on your head. His hand remains tenderly flat on your shoulder blade, the other lays on your cheek as if he's trying to cover your face. You tug your face mask up and rub your throat.

“Hi,” Lando greets the girls sweetly. This causes the eruption of another wave of high-pitched squeals. “I’m sorry but do you mind if we keep the cameras away? Our relationship isn't out and as much as possible, we’d like to keep it that way. Can we respect my girl’s privacy please?”

He sounds exactly like a male lead in a romance Kdrama. You know it's fake, that the both of you are playing roles, but his words and the way he delivers them so effortlessly makes you momentarily doubt if he's really acting. It causes a butterfly to flutter in your stomach and your pulse to steadily accelerate. His hands are large and warm and for a moment, it makes you wonder if this is what security feels like. If this is what it feels like to be loved.

Then, you get reminded that it is all an act.

How can actors not fall in love with their co-actors when acting can feel this real at times?

“Thank you,” you hear Lando say. You miss the previous parts of the conversation because of the thoughts that invaded your mind.

“You look so cute together, oh my god. I’m going to die,” the fangirl adds. Lando’s chest vibrates as he chuckles, the sound deep and warm.

“We need to go, sorry. Enjoy the race today.”

He taps his thumb against your shoulder blade and he starts walking, his hands not detaching themselves from your skin. You keep your head low as Lando guides you away. In your peripheral vision, you see the photographer’s camera pointed towards the two of you. A self-satisfied smirk plays on your lips.

“How did I do?” Lando asks the moment he removes his helmet. He is sporting a bright grin, so bright that you're sure it’s going to make the sun envious, as his fingers comb through his damp curly hair. A few stray strands are stuck on his sweaty forehead. You feel the urge to sweep them aside for him.

You search through your mental thesaurus for the synonyms of the word amazing and have chosen: “Impressive.”

Light beads of sweat trickle down his face and neck. A McLaren staff member comes and hands him a towel to wipe them off. Lando thanks her and she leaves. He thrusts the towel towards you. You blink in confusion.

“Will you do the honors?”

“Can't you do it yourself?”

“But you have to play the part of a sweet girlfriend, am I right or am I right?” You roll your eyes at his cheekiness, rising to a stand. You place the McLaren jacket in your hands on your chair. Lando handed it to you before he climbed into the car. You don't know the reason behind his action. Nevertheless, you held the jacket for him.

You take the towel from his hands, your fingers grazing with his. Lando’s smile threatens to split in half as he puts his hands behind his back, parts his legs a little, and then bends down so you won't have a difficult time wiping his sweat for him. You're not that much shorter than him and your height difference is perfectly reasonable and comfortable but you're still grateful that he's doing this for you.

You don't wipe his sweat. Instead, you pat them out. Patting is gentle on skin. The towel will simply absorb the sweat on his skin. Rubbing the skin can lead to skin irritation and inflammation. Lando’s eyes flutter close at your actions and you swear you see him leaning against your hand.

“You raced good today,” you praise him.

You have zero idea on what happened in the past hour. The cars went around in circles. Then, they time their laps. They’re not even racing each other. You thought they would.

In all honesty, you think the entire thing is a bore. The street races you went to when you were a teen were more fun. A minimum of three drivers gets injured every race and it's highly likely someone ends up dead, which is your messed-up definition of the word fun.

You’re more interested in the special guest who decided to grace the track with its great reptile presence. A dinosaur. Kidding, it's just a lizard. It looks like it was surveying the scene and strategizing a great dinosaur invasion.

Lando's chest swells, “Well, I have to impress my girl.”

He opens his eyes and they meet yours. They're twinkling with mirth.

“Color me impressed then.” Despite your words, your tone is unimpressed.

He smiles impossibly wider, now showing his full set of pearly white teeth. He bites his bottom lip. You stop patting his sweat and lower your hand to the side.

“You don't have any more races tonight?” you question. Lando straightens.

“Later at 9 PM.”

“That's quite late.”

“It is?” Lando’s head tilts to the side a little. “Do you sleep early?”

You hardly sleep at all. You have a hard time maintaining regular human sleeping and waking hours. Like the other half of the world population.

“That's not it,” you shake your head. “I kind of just expected that the next practice session would be tomorrow morning.”

“Singapore usually holds night races. Track temperatures are low and the organizers can broadcast the race during peak viewing hours in European time,” Lando explains. “And they hold two practice races a day because it only lasts an hour.”

“That makes sense.”

“Are you hungry?” Lando questions, smoothly redirecting the conversation to food.

“I could eat.” You're not particularly hungry. You're not full either.

“I know a good place that sells these amazing wraps.”

Wraps sound enticing. You can't remember the last time you've eaten one.

“Lead the way.”

You chew on your beef wrap slowly as your eyes focus on the screen of your phone. The voices of the sports announcers live broadcasting the ongoing race fill Lando’s driver room. After buying the wrap, he brought you to his driver room so you can enjoy the privacy as you ate. You appreciate the thoughtfulness. You don't think you can eat outside. So many people can see you.

username33: LOOK AT THESE PHOTOS I AM GOING FERAL

username34: HOLUP LANDO'S GIRL WAS IN THE PADDOCK??? ON THE DAY I DECIDED NOT TO GO?? EVJSNSVSISKS

username35: girlie was hiding 😭 she deliberately went through the back of the paddock so no one can see her going to the garage

username36: my friends and i met her today! she looks like she's lost and as fellow mclaren fans, we went to help her and she was so sweet omg and so so shy too. we tried to take a pic with her but lando arrived and told us to respect his girl’s space

username36: and i quote “do you mind if we keep the cameras away? our relationship isn't out and we’d like to keep it that way. can we respect my girl’s privacy please” WHEN I TELL YOU I MELTED ON THE SPOT

username37: girl he really said that???

username38: i’m her friend and yes he really said that 😭

username39: little lando norris is not so little anymore

username37: pls tell me you backed off immediately

username38: we did!! we kinda feel bad now that we discovered she's been battling anxiety since 2021 and that she doesn't like having photos of her taken

username40: NO BECAUSE THE WAY LANDO IS SO PROTECTIVE OF HER?? THE WAY HE SPUN HER AROUND AND PULLED HER TO HIS CHEST?? THE PROTECTIVE HAND ON HER BACK?? HIM COVERING HER FACE?? WE ALL KNOW [NAME] HASN'T BEEN IN THE PUBLIC EYE SINCE 2021 BC OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AFTER HER SCANDAL AND LANDO REALLY TRIED TO PROTECT HER

username41: bae i think you forgot that he's also the reason why [name] is gaining attention again bc he accidentally storied her in his insta

username40: that's why i said tried bestie

username42: i cant believe im crying over this LANDO NORRIS U BETTER TREAT OUR GIRL [NAME] RIGHT

username43: im waiting for @hanentertainmentofficial to say smth

username44: girlie’s career flopped and now she's leeching off lando’s money smh 🙄

username45: bestie she never needed his money she’s already rich from being an idol

username44: correction ex kpop idol, her money’s probably already running out

username45: bestie she's still richer than you while you're 14 (your bio says your 14) and still living with your parents

username46: AND THAT'S VERY SLAY OF HER,, YOU CAN'T EVEN GET A RICH MAN TO LOOK AT YOU

username47: that girl who claimed that lando is her baby daddy is suspiciously quiet rn

You turn your phone off and toss it inside your cross body bag. A sigh flies past your lips as you lean against the back of the couch, setting your unfinished wrap down. Your eyes flutter close. They're beginning to sting. Too much reading.

Sleep latches its claws on you and you allow it to take you.

You stand in darkness, allowing the deafening silence to swallow you whole. Suddenly, a thousand eyes appear. Unblinking. Bloodshot. They're bulging out of their sockets. In unison, the eyeballs move and lock on your figure. Judging. Judging. Judging. Your body trembles at the weight of a thousand gazes. You can’t breathe. You can't speak.

Please stop looking at me.

Please.

I’m begging you.

Stop.

The eyes slowly became bigger and bigger. Then, they disappear. You let out a shaky exhale. You turn around and the world becomes a blinding white.

Cameras. Thousands. No, millions of them. The loud clicking noise fills your ears. Your hands stretch in front of you, trying to cover your face and your body from them. You can only squeeze your eyes shut.

Silence.

The scene changes.

You register the feeling of sand getting stuck in between your toes. Your eyes slowly flutter open. The overcast skyline and the rising tides, the telltale ingredients of a brewing storm over the horizon, can be spectated from the shore. You recognize this place. This was a place you swore you're never going to step foot again.

Jeju.

You hear your mother’s gentle voice whisper your name behind you, causing goosebumps rise on your skin and your entire body to stiffen. It's not the name you own now, but the name you were born with, the name she gave you, the name you lost when you moved to Seoul.

She calls your name again. Again. Again. And again. You ignore every single one.

She stops.

You slowly turn around and you see your mother standing there, a few steps away, barefoot like you and wearing a dress. You remember this dress. She wore it when she was pregnant with you. She keeps the photo in her wallet.

No Eun Ha looks as beautiful as she was in your childhood memories. You greatly resemble her. The eyes most especially. That's why looking at mirrors feels more like a punishment to you more than anything else.

The word “Eomma” rots inside your mouth.

Your Eomma smiles at you. It's empty, her smile. When she smiles, they never reach her eyes. That's the way it has always been. For a second, you consider apologizing.

Eomma, I’m sorry that you have to raise a child you didn’t want. I’m sorry for stealing the light in your eyes.

You don't grow the courage to say it out loud.

No Eun Ha remains smiling. You notice that the edges of her lips curl higher and higher until the smile begins to look unsettling and sinister. Then you see the skin on her cheek tear apart as her smile grows and grows. Blood drips down slowly to her neck and stains the top part of her dress. She opens her mouth into an inhumane size and you see a thousand razor-sharp teeth lining up inside it. Everything is a gory red.

You scream in absolute terror.

She says your name again, her voice this time is not as gentle as you remember.

You wake up screaming and in cold sweat. You fall from your bed and onto the floor on all fours and begin vomiting your guts out. Nothing comes up. Only saliva. You break into pathetic sobs on the floor. Terror is a familiar feeling but you will never ever get used to it.

You don't know how many hours have passed. The floor used to feel cool against your skin but now, it's never been warmer. You still don't possess the strength to leave the floor. Your body feels as if it's being anchored down giant stones.

You're exhausted. You’ve done nothing but you feel exhausted.

You want to run.

You want to run away from this pain and exhaustion.

You need a life where you're no longer exhausted.

Desperately.

A sudden shriek interrupts the silence that wraps the air. A woman's. You don't even flinch. You know it’s just Jinnie. She's the only one who has access to another keycard of your hotel room.

When Lando’s panicking face comes into view, you are shocked. So shocked that you involuntarily raise your arms and accidentally hit him below his jaw. He stumbles backwards, not expecting the blow. He let out a pained groan, hand clutching the area you hit. You quickly rise to your feet, a thousand apologies already on the tip of your tongue. This action, however, triggers a wave of vertigo. Your vision blackens temporarily, your knees giving out at your own weight. Reflexively, you grab hold of the nearest thing beside you, the mattress to soften your fall, before your shaking knees meet the floor.

“[Name]!” Lando’s voice is so loud, you flinch.

When your vision returns, his face is the first thing you see.

“Good morning,” your voice is flat and rough.

Lando hisses and his large hands cradle your cheeks. You're suddenly made aware of how large his hands are. They can cover your entire face with how big they are.

“You're pale,” his voice wobbles. “Shit.”

You want to pass out again. His hands feel so, so comfortable and so, so warm that you want to sleep with this feeling.

“Hey, hey, don't close your eyes. [Name]—” Lando hands move swiftly. One second he’s holding your face. The next second he’s lifting you up in his arms. “Jinnie, call an ambulance!”

The word “ambulance” causes you to wake up. Like really wake up.

Oh, shit.

You struggle in Lando’s arms, “Andwae! No ambulance!”

You pry yourself away from Lando, hopping down to the floor, but the man doesn't retract his hands completely. He still holds onto your forearms to support you as you try to stand.

“No. Just no. I’m fine.”

“[Name]!” Jinnie scolds. She's finally functioning again. She froze in shock when she saw you earlier.

“I’m fine!” you shout. “I’m fine! Really!”

When you get caught that you're weak, you retaliate.

You grit your teeth and clench your jaw.

“I’m. Fine.”

They don’t believe you. You can see it in their eyes. However, they're not going to argue with you. You know they won't.

“I’m going to shower,” you announce. Lando’s grip on your forearm tightens just as you pivot your heels to head to the bathroom.

“I think it's best if you stay today.”

“We all agreed that I’m going to be in the paddock from the practice sessions until the race night.”

“I’ll tell the PR team that you won't go today.”

Your brows furrow.

“Just… Rest for today, okay?”

You turn quiet. Hesitantly, you nod.

“Thanks.”

He turns to Jinnie and tells her, “Take care of her for me. I’ll visit after the qualifying.”

And like that, Lando Norris leaves the hotel room.

[mamaestapa]

The Gender Reveal

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: Y/n Hubbard, the younger sister of Cincinnati Bengals Defensive End Sam Hubbard, finds herself in a difficult situation after a steamy hookup with her brothers best friend, who just so happens to be the quarterback for the Bengals. In just nine months their lives will be changed forever. How will Y/n and Joe manage to to go through parenthood together? more so, how will Sam take the news he is going to be the uncle of his best friends baby?

•chapter summary: You and Joe find out the gender of your baby! It's a day full of happiness, emotions, and drama...

•word count: ALMOST 8k

•warnings: pregnancy, crying, drama, sam is kind of a dick, still lots of fluff, uhh this chapter is kind of all over the place

series masterlist

——————————————————

March 10, 2023

4 months pregnant

"They're here!" Joe yelled from the kitchen. You smiled from Joe's living room as you put your heels on. After sliding on your white heels, you jogged over to the front door and opened it, revealing Morgan and Logan Wilson, Holly and Joe Bachie, and Evan and Gracie McPherson.

"Hi!" you beamed, pulling Morgan into a hug first.

"Hey girl!" she squealed, tightly hugging you back. Well, hugging as much as much as your baby bump would let you. You've really popped the last couple of weeks. You and Morgan rocked back and forth for a couple seconds before pulling away. Her eyes lit up, "Oh my gosh, look at you!"

You blushed as you put your hands on your belly, cupping your bump and showing it off.

"Girl, you are glowing!" Holly grinned as she came up to wrap her arms around you. She squeezed you gently before both of you pulled away. You smiled, "Thank you. I do have that pregnancy glow now that the morning sickness has passed."

Morning sickness was no joke during this pregnancy. It left you feeling crappy and constantly exhausted. Thankfully, your morning sickness disappeared a couple weeks ago when you entered your second trimester. Entering your second trimester means you're already almost halfway through this pregnancy. It feels like just yesterday you found out you were pregnant.

You stepped aside in the entryway so that the group could enter the house. Logan came up to you, side hugging you as he said hello. "Hey stranger."

You smiled, hugging him back, "Hi Logan." Logan smirked, “So, where's the daddy?" You pointed into the kitchen, "He’s in there."

Logan, Joey, and Evan made their way into kitchen, with Evan and Joey each giving you a hug as they walked by. With the guys gone, it left you, Morgan, Holly, and Gracie in the entry way of Joe’s home. You hadn’t really talked to the girls since the season ended a couple months ago. You’ve avoided hanging out with them in order to conceal your pregnancy from the public. It’s not that you didn’t want anyone to know you were pregnant, you just didn’t want the news to come out that you were carrying the baby of Cincinnati’s beloved quarterback. Not yet at least. You and Joe would break the news to the public when you were ready.

Hell, you just told your families last week about the baby. Joe’s family reacted much better than yours, however, both your parents and Joe’s expressed their love and support for the both of you. You were a bit shocked at how well they took the news, considering you and Joe aren’t even together. Your parents were much more hesitant about the situation than Joes were. Robin was excited and gushed the whole night about how excited she was for another grandchild, while your parents grilled Joe with questions and what ifs the whole night.

Since you haven’t talked to the girls much since the season, you figured it would be good to catch up with them for a bit before all of the guests got to Joe’s. Today you were going to be finding out if the baby is a a boy or a girl. You didn’t want to do anything too big and over the top, but Holly and Morgan insisted that you at least have a party with teammates, friends and family that you wanted to invite. So that’s what you and Joe are doing. Your guests would be arriving very soon, which means your so close to finding out the gender of your baby.

“So girls,” you smiled, “if you want, we can get some drinks, food, and go catch up in the backyard." Gracie smiled in response, "I’d love that." The other girls nodded as happy smiles pulled at their lips. You led them into the kitchen where all of the boys were talking. As you all walked into the room, Logan and Evan wolf whistled as their wives walked into the room.

"Damn,” Logan smirked, “who's that beautiful lady in the blue dress?" Morgan shook her head, smiling bashfully as she blushed. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his torso, squeezing him gently as she looked out at the group from behind her husbands frame.

You smiled at the couple as you walked over to Joe. “Everything set up?” You asked as you leaned against the counter, a hand coming up to rest on your bump. Joe nodded as he looked down at you, “Yeah, girls got everything set up in here, and out there." he said, gesturing outside. Emma, Gracie, and Joes sister-in-law came over earlier in the day to set up the party for you.

You smiled, "Perfect. Thanks.” Joe hummed and smiled slightly as he looked at you. His eyes traveled from your eyes, down to your bump. I’m just a couple hours you’d know if you were having a son or a daughter.

“Well,” Holly spoke, “I cant wait to see outside.” Morgan nodded in agreement as you pushed yourself off of the counter and patted Joe on the chest. "Well, you boys have fun in here doing whatever the hell you're doing...the girls and I are going to go outside and catch up before everyone else gets here."

Joey saluted, "Will do Y/n. Don’t have too much fun without us." Holly giggled as she rubbed Joey’s back, “Oh god. Joey, you are going to be the death of me, I swear." She laughed, making Joey kiss her forehead, "Mmm, but you love me." Holly blushed, "That I do."

You smiled from afar as you grabbed some sparkling rosé (non-alcoholic, of course) and a pink cake pop from the table full of an assortment of appetizer foods and pink and blue cake pops. You began walking towards the backyard, the girls following behind you with their own glasses of rosé, plus a pink or blue cake pop or two.

As you went to open the sliding glass door, you heard Joe softly call out your name. You turned around and looked at him, slightly cocking your head to the side, "Yeah?" A smile pulled at his lips as he looked at you. "You look really pretty." he said, a slight blush rising to his cheeks as he spoke.

You were wearing a white, cami dress with a slit. The dress had pink flowers all over, and it hugged your baby bump and pregnancy curves perfectly. Your hair was loosely curled with the sides being pinned up with pink butterfly clips. You were convinced this baby was a girl, so of course you had to dress in pink.

You smiled sheepishly at Joe's compliment, "Thank you, Joe." He nodded, still smiling softly at you. His eyes locked on your belly for a moment before they snapped back up to meet yours. He hesitanlty turned back to the guys, who were talking about sports, like always. Joe didn't want to take his gaze off of you. He would look at you forever if he could. You walked out onto the patio, closing the door behind you once you were outside. The girls each gave you knowing smiles as they looked at you. They heard the entire exchange between you and Joe just now.

You and the girls made your way over to the lawn chairs that were on the patio, the four of you sitting down and getting comfortable. You sat your champagne flute on the table and leaned back in your chair, folding your hands in your lap and cupping your belly.

"So," Morgan smiled, "catch us up on everything since the last time we talked." She leaned forward in her chair, Holly and Gracie doing the same. The three of them eagerly waiting to hear what you had to say.

You let out a breath you didn't even realize you had been holding. There was a lot that you had to catch them up on...

"Well," you started pursing your lips, "we told Sam about the baby." you gestured to Morgan, "which, you were there for." She smiled sadly at you before asking, "Did he handle it any better after you left the bar?"

You wished you could say yes.

You shook your head. "No. He almost reacted worse." Holly frowned as she listened intently to what you had to say. "What did he say?" You wet your lips as you let a soft sigh escape your lips. Just thinking about the night you told Sam about the baby makes your blood pressure raise. "He was pissed. At me, at Joe, at the situation. He was just pissed at everything. He said that Joe wasn't going to stick around because there's nothing tying him down to me. Which, he's not wrong." You said with a shrug. It was true, there is nothing tying Joe down to you. He has the opportunity to leave you and this baby whenever he wants. You just hope he never does. But since your days at OSU, you don't have a ton of hope that Joe will stick around forever. He's left you once before. What's stopping him from doing it again?

You continued to tell Morgan, Holly, and Gracie about the screaming match that took place between Joe and Sam. You told them all about Joe revealing he broke your heart in college because Sam told him to, and how Joe said he would never leave your the baby because he loves you.

Which, is still something the two of you have yet to discuss. Too many secrets came out that night, and you didn't have the emotional capacity to discuss your feelings for Joe that night either. It's a conversation you know you need to have with Joe, by you've just decided that putting it off is the best thing to do for now. You could talk to Joe about the confession after you find out what his baby is.

Holly's mouth gaped open in shock as you finished telling them everything that's happened. "Wow." was all she said. Your lips formed a straight line as you just nodded.

"You poor thing," Gracie frowned, "that's a lot to handle. Especially for a pregnant woman." You let out a laugh, "Ha, tell me about it."

It was a lot to handle. Your emotions have been running wild these last couple of weeks. Half of it is from your hormones, but the other half definitely comes from all of the drama that's happening in your life right now. You just hope these issues get resolved quickly, you don't need anymore problems than you already have. Morgan stood up from her chair and walked over to yours. She leaned down and wrapped her arms around you. She squeezed you gently as she let her chin rest on your head.

"I know it's a lot, but," she pulled away and grabbed your hand, squeezing it gently as she looked between the three of you, "we all love you, we're here for you."

"And the baby," Holly chimed in with a sweet smile. Morgan chuckled, "Yes, and the baby." You smiled at your friend, standing up from your chair so you could give each of the girls a hug. You were so glad you had friends like them to be there for you during this pregnancy. You puled away from your hug with Gracie. She looked at you with a serious expression, "I promise we won't bring him up any more, but," she hesitated, "Is Sam coming today?"

You truly didn't know if your brother was going to be there or not. you know how angry he is with you and Joe right now, but It would break your heart if Sam didn't show up.

"I don't know." you answered truthfully, "we invited him, but we'll see if he shows or not." Morgan frowned, "It would be pretty shitty if he didn't show up. Even if he's upset with you and Joe right now, he should at least come to see if he's having a niece or nephew." Holly nodded in agreement, "Yeah. And who knows, maybe once he finds out if the baby is a boy or girl, he'll start to come around."

Holly was right. Maybe Sam will come around once he finds out if he's having a niece or nephew.

Morgan decided it was best to move the conversation away from Sam and your pregnancy. So instead, the four of you were laughing away at a story Morgan was telling you about how her and Logan got into a paint fight while they were painting their new house. As you were having fun catching up with your friends and laughing at Morgan's story, Joe came out to the backyard.

"Hey ladies,” he said as he walked up behind you, “sorry to disturb the fun, but there's more people here, Y/n."

You craned your neck up at him and smiled, "Okay. Tell 'em I’ll be there in a second." Joe nodded and walked back to head inside. "Well girls,” you said as you stood from your chair, “it was great catching up with you. I’ll see you in a little bit."

They nodded as they stood from their chairs with you, “Okay, it was so good catching up with you!" Morgan beamed as she hugged you. Holly smiled, and walked over to you. She hugged you once again. "I’m gonna go find Joey, see you in a bit.”

As you all made your way back into the house, the girls went back to their men and got some more snacks. While you and Joe greeted friends and family as they arrived at the house. Eventually, everyone had found their way outside. You and Joe had made sure to talk to all the groups of people that came to the gender reveal, before meeting up with your parents, together. You didn’t need your dad grilling Joe with tough questions anymore without you being present. You and Joe had invited a lot of his teammates, knowing it was best to invite them—even if half of them didn’t show. You knew Tee, Ja’Marr, Logan, and Evan would show, but you didn't expect to see Tyler Boyd, Trey Hendrickson, Jessie Bates, and even Zac Taylor. You were so happy to see that they showed up to share this special day with you and Joe.

As you were walking around the backyard and thanking everyone for coming, you saw Zac looking at one of the tables Gracie had set out in the backyard, with blue and pink balloons and all sorts of baby things scattered all over it. You walked over to him, smiling softly as you got closer to the head coach. "Hey Zac.”

He turned around, his eyes lit up when he saw you. "Hey, Y/n! How you been?"He pulled you into a hug. "Decent,” you said, with a slight shrug, “how about you?" He pulled away from you, nodding as he said, “Can’t complain, can't complain.“ Zac gestured to the little signs by the table, “These are adorable by the way.”

You smiled, "Thanks. Gracie thought it would be cute to incorporate football because, you know..." You trailed off, your eyes glancing over at Joe who was talking to his high school friends just a few feet away from you and Zac.

"So you and Joe huh?" he smirked, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked over at his quarterback. You blushed as you looked at Joe. The shade of red gracing your cheeks darkened as Joe made eye contact with you. You smiled slightly as him before looking back at Zac. “Heh”, you laughed lightly, “yeah..."

You were unsure how to respond to Zac’s teasing question. The topic of you and Joe being together was still something you had yet to discuss with anyone, even Joe. Zac put a hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze as he spoke reassuringly, “Hey, I support it one hundred percent. Joe is a great guy. You two are perfect for each other, and I know you'll be amazing parents."

You smiled sincerely at the head coach, "Thank you coach, that really means a lot." Zac smiled and grabbed a glass of champagne from the table, "Of course, I mean it. Take care sweetheart, alright?“ He said softly, kissing your cheek. You nodded, “I will. Zac smiled, "Good. Congratulations to you and Joe." You thanked Zac as he walked away from you, leaving you alone at the table. You stood there for a moment thinking about what Zac said to you: You two are perfect for eachother. There was a time years ago where you truly believed that. You don’t want to admit it, but deep down you still believe that statement.

After talking to Zac, you decided to join Joe so you could talk to each others parents. After Joe was done catching up with some of his high school buddies, he moved on to talk to his mom. Once you got close enough, you reached out and touched Joe’s shoulder. You could feel him tense up ag the contact. He turned around and immediately relaxed as he noticed it was you. He smiled softly at you as you stood next to him.

Robin gasped as she looked at you, “Honey you look beautiful!” You smiled and pulled her into a hug, “Thank you. It’s so good to see you.” She rubbed your back and squeezed you gently, “It’s good to see you too. How are you feeling?” You pulled away and put your hands on your belly as you spoke, “Much better. Little one isn’t making me so sick anymore.” She smiled, “That’s good,” she pointed at Joe, “this one gave me awful morning sickness.” Joe chuckled as he moved a hand to place on the middle of your bump, “Like father like son.” He smirked as he looked down at you. You just shook your head as you kept eye contact with Robin. Joe has been connived this whole pregnancy that you’re having a boy. Joe took his hand off your abdomen and chuckled as his mom gave him a knowing smile. She lifted her hand from her hip and let it hover over your belly, “May I?” she asked. You nodded, giving Joe’s mom a sweet smile. She smiled and placed her hand gently on your belly. She gushed as her thumb stroked over one of the flower patterns. “This is so exciting.” Joe’s mom was so excited about this baby, and you thought it was the sweetest thing. She pulled her hand away as her eyes welled with tears, “I am just so happy for you both. I can't wait to meet Baby Burrow." You and Joe glanced at eachother as his mouth gaped open, "Oh-“ he hesitated, “mom, no. We uh, we haven't decided on a last name for the baby."

That was another topic to add the list of things you had to talk to Joe about…

Joe’s dad furrowed his brows in confusion, "Well why not? The baby is a Burrow afterall." Joe shrugged at his dads words, “Yeah, but it's also a Hubbard too." Just hearing your last name being mentioned made you tense. All you could think about was how your brother reacted to the news.

So…”Jimmy trailed off. "are you going to hyphenate the name? Personally, I think you should just use Joe’s last name." You hesitated, “Yeah, I-.” Joe cut you off with a firm tone in his voice, “Dad, I appreciate the help. I do, but Y/n and I will decide later, when the due date is closer.”

You let out a sigh of relief. Silently thanking Joe in your head for handling the situation.

Jimmy sighed, giving his son a tight lipped smile, “Well Joe, just know whatever you two decide on, your mom and I support you." Joe smiled and nodded, "Thanks, dad." Robin grimaced slightly and broke the tension by hugging you again, "Well, we’ll let you two go and talk to some other guests. I know there’s lots of people waiting to talk to you two.” she pulled away and smiled, “Y/n, it was wonderful to see you again, sweetie."

You smiled, "It was so good to see you Robin.Jimmy have you a side hug as Robin hugged Joe, whispering something in his ear that made him smile widely. He pulled away from his mom and looked at you as he said, “I know, I really do.”

You couldn’t help but wonder what she said to Joe that made him so happy. After you finished talking to Joe’s parents, you decided to talk to your own. The conversation with them was similar to the one you had with Joe’s parents.Both of them were still a little weary about the whole situation, but they were so excited to find out what their grandchild was going to be. You hugged both of your parents before you and Joe started to make your way over to another table that Gracie had set up in the backyard. As you were walking with Joe, you looked around the backyard and made note of everyone that was a present. A frown made its way onto your face as you realized Sam wasn’t there. You hoped he’d get over himself and suck it up for just a couple hours, but your hopes were crushed. Your brother wasn’t going to come. Joe glanced down at you, noticing the frown that was on your face as you looked around the backyard of his home. He stopped walking, and reached out to place a hand on your shoulder, “You alright?”You tore your eyes away from the guests and looked into Joe’s blues. You nodded, smiling sadly, “Yeah. It’s just, Sam’s not here…”

Joes expression matched yours. Just like you, he too hoped that Sam would look past his anger with you guys, and show up to support you and find out the gender of your baby. "I know." Joe said, his voice just above a whisper. "It's my fault." Your face dropped as you looked at Joe, a hurt expression on your face. "Don't say that, it's not your fault. My brother's just a dick when it comes to you and I being together. He needs to get over himself." Joe chuckled softly, "That he is. I'm sorry." Joe said, genuinely. You furrowed your eyebrows, "What for?" Joe sighed, gulping as he said, "Everything. Leaving you behind in Ohio, making your brother miss this, it's all my fault." His tone somber as he finished. You shook your head and grabbed Joe's hand. "Look at me." Joe let his blue eyes stare into yours, "None of this is your fault. If anyone's fault, it's my brothers." Joe nodded, "I guess. I do need to talk to you though," he sighed, "it's important."

You knew there were two things on Joe's mind right now that he needed to discuss with you. You nodded, smiling softly at him, "Yeah, we'll talk. But not here." A small smile pulled at your lips, "Lets focus on finding out what this baby is first so we can stop calling them an 'it'." Joe chuckled in amusement, nodding in agreement. With that, the two of you exchanged one last smile as you walked over to the table where all of the confetti poppers were placed. Gracie and joe's sister-in-law created a "playbook" for a fun little activity before the baby's gender was revealed to everybody in attended. Joe grabbed the "playbook" that had a blue and pink helmet on each side. With th playbook in hand, the two of you began to walk around again to take guesses from the groups of people. Finding out, were they team pink or team blue?

~time skip~

"Ja’Marr, my guy." Joe said walking up to where Ja’Marr was standing. You and Joe were asking everyone attending the gender reveal, to predict what they think the baby’s gender is. So far, you’ve gotten five votes for a girl(coming from you, your mom, Jimmy, Tee, and Tyler), and three votes for a boy (coming from Joe, your dad, and Robin).

"What do you think, are you team pink or team blue?" You asked, holding up the “playbook” and shaking it. Ja’Marr smiled, "Team pink for sure. I get girl dad vibes from Joe.” You smiled as you looked up at Joe, “I think so too.”

Joe wrote down Ja’Marrs guess as he hugged each of you and gave his congratulations. As Ja’Marr was walking away, you saw Holly, Joey, Morgan, and Logan laughing together. You smiled and quickly made your way over to them, with Joe following behind you.

Holly beamed as she saw you and Joe, “Hey guys!" Joey smirked beside her, “Placing bets now are we?" You smiled, chuckling softly, “Yup. So, are we team pink or blue?" You asked, twirling the pen in your hand.

You couldn’t wait to hear your friends guesses.

Morgan smiled warmly, "Blue. I have a feeling it's a boy."

"Me too." Joe mouthed as he tallied another vote for 'team blue'. You turned to Logan, “What about you?”

He hummed, thinking about what his prediction was. “I think I’m going to have to go with pink because the Hubbard family has too many boys."

"Same!“ Holly, nodded, “mark me down for pink too."

You marked down two talley marks for 'team pink', turning to Joey and waiting for his answer.

"This is a tough decision,” he chuckled, crossing his arms. “I look at Joe and I get girl dad vibes, but Y/n, you give off major boy mom vibes. But i’m so torn because there is no way Burrow is having a boy. I just can't see it."

Joe frowned and you laughed, "why not?"

Joey shrugged, "I just don't get that vibe, but I’m going with my gut…I think it’s a boy.” Joe high-fived the linebacker as you put a tally down on the clipboard.

"Gotta carry on that JB9 legacy." Loagn said, elbowing Joe. You shook your head, laughing. "No, no. You’ll see, this baby is definitely a girl.”

You’d find out in just a few moments if you were right or not. You and Joe had just a few more people to ask for their guesses on what the baby growing in your belly is. After you finished asking your friends, you moved on to Coach Taylor, which he voted that the baby was a girl. After talking to Zac for a bit, you moved on to your last group. Their votes were split half and half. As you asked the guests for their predictions, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that Sam never showed up. He’s such an asshole. Cant even get over his problems with Joe for just a couple hours to come support his little sister. What a prick. You thought to yourself as you huffed out a sigh. You would have no problem confronting him about this later…

"Hey everyone!" Gracie yelled from the patio of Joe's backyard. her voice ringing out in the backyard caused you to direct your attention to her as she spoke, "If I could get everyone's attention, it's time for the big reveal! So, if you all could, let's give a round of applause for the parents, Joe and Y/n!"

You knew Joe hated being in the spotlight like this, but the two of you wore large grins as you walked up to the patio where the Gracie held the confetti poppers. Applause and whistles broke out in the lawn as the two of you made your way over to Gracie. Once you and Joe got to where you were supposed to stand, Gracie handed each of you a confetti popper. You looked up at Joe, a smile pulling at your lips as you noticed his hands shaking slightly in anticipation as he held the popper in his hand. He brought a hand up to adjust his Cartiers, flashing you a nervous smile before he looked out at the guests standing around in the backyard.

"So, before we get to the moment we have all been waiting for," Gracie said with a sweet smile, "let's get some final results from the parents on what you all think the baby's gender is!"

You looked up at Joe, smiling before turning to the crowd, "So for team pink, we had a total of sixteen votes." Joe cleared his throat, "And for team blue, we have a total of ten." You laughed lightly, "Well, the obvious winner here is team pink."

A few shouts and cheers were heard from the crowd of yours and Joe's family and friends. Even though you and a majority of your guests thought this baby was a girl, you and Joe didn't care what you were having. As long as the baby is healthy, you'll both be happy.

"Alright guys, you ready?" Gracie asked you and Joe. Joe shrugged, a smirk on his face as he said, "I don't think I have much of a choice." You let out a laugh in agreement.

You felt yourself growing nervous, yet so excited at the same time as the ancipatoon grew. The moment you've been waiting for since you found out you were pregnant was just moments away from happening. In just moments, you'll find out if you'll be having a son or daughter.

Gracie, with the help of Joe's sister-in-law, began passing a few more confetti poppers out amongst the crowd of your family and friends. Once the majority of people had poppers in their hands, you were finally ready to reveal the gender of your baby. You and Joe stood next to each other, your hands shaking, but wide grins were etched on your faces. You glanced up at him, "You ready?" He nodded, "Hell yeah." The two of you took your eyes off of each other and turned back to the crowd in the backyard.

"On the count of three!" you shouted, fixing your grip on the popper. your heart was racing as the countdown began. Joe's feeling the same way.

"One!"..."Two!"..."Three!"

You and Joe twisted the poppers in your hands. You were suddenly surround by blue confetti. You and Joe are having a baby boy.

"YESSSS!!!!" Joe cheered, throwing his hands up in the air in triumph. His fatherly instincts were indeed correct all along. He was having a son. Your hands flew to your mouth in shock. You were so convince you were having a girl, but you are so excited to have a baby boy. You started laughing from excitement and shock. Joe brought his hands down, dropping the confetti popper. He turned to you and wrapped you up in a tight embrace, rocking back and forth with you. "We're having a baby boy." he said, his voice shaky and soft as he spoke into your hair. You let out the breath you had been holding, "I know, I'm so happy." You said, your tone genuine and filled with emotion.

You and Joe pulled away from each other and turned to everyone, bright smiles on both of your faces. All of your family and friends were cheering, whistling, smiling, and some were even crying. Every body there was just so happy for you and Joe. You heard sniffling beside you, causing you to glance up at Joe. You noticed him take his Cartiers off and wipe his eyes. You pushed your bottom lip out and laughed lightly, the sound of your laughter making Joe look down at you. Tears began spilling out of your own eyes, too, as he looked at you with his piercing blue eyes, He laughed, tearily. "I'm sorry, I'm just so happy right now. I-we, are going to have a son, Y/n." You wiped a tear off your cheek as you sniffled. "Yeah," you said, a wide grin growing on your face, "we are."

You were feeling a mixture of emotions right now, but you were so overwhelmed with joy and happiness. Finding out that you and Joe were going to have a baby boy in just five short months made this pregnancy feel even more real. You were so excited to meet your sweet, baby boy.

As you and Joe shared an emotional moment, you felt a pair of arms wrap around you. You looked over and saw Holly, who was grinning excitedly. You hugged her back, both of you jumping up and down.

"Ahhh, I'm getting a nephew!" she cheered, making you laugh happily. You felt two more bodies join the hug. You smiled even wider, knowing it was Morgan and Gracie. "Y/n, I'm so happy I could cry!" Morgan shrieked. Gracie laughed and nodded in agreement, "Me too!"

"Be careful ladies," Joe chuckled beside you, "you don't want to suffocate the little guy." The girls pulled away from you and rolled their eyes at Joe. Holly shook her head, and gave you one last squeeze before she and the others gave you some space to talk to your families.

"I'm getting a grandson!" you heard Robin cheer as she got closer to you and Joe. Once she was close enough, she wrapped her arms around both you and Joe, pulling you in to a comforting embrace. "You excited mom?" Joe asked, chuckling in amusement at his mothers reaction. Jimmy chuckled from beside Robin. "I think excited is an understatement." Robin pulled away from you and Joe, tears pooling in her eyes as she just looked at the two of you with a genuine smile. Every one in attendance came up to you and Joe, congratulating the two of you on the pregnancy and your little boy. They took pictures with you, told stories, and gave you parenting advice. While it was a bit overwhelming and a tad emotional, you were so thankful for everyone that came today. Those that attended had nothing but love and support for you and Joe through this whole thing.

As you and Joe stood around, still beaming over the reveal of your baby’s gender, Zac came up to where the two of you were standing. He shook Joe’s hand, and clapped his back, pulling his quarterback in for a hug. Joe doing the same.

"Guess my call was wrong huh?" Zac chuckled, referring to his guess that the baby was a girl. You laughed lightly, nodding, "Yes, yes it was."

Zac smiled warmly at you and Joe. He seemed genuinely happy. It wasn't a rare occurrence for him to smile, not at all, but it was a very comforting gesture to see the usual hard gaze of Zacs, break out into a wide grin when he wasn't stressed over coaching.

"Congratulations again you two.” he nodded, “You are going to be the most amazing parents to this little boy." You smiled and moved forward to hug Zac. You wrapped your arms around him tightly. "Thank you, Zac. For everything...I, we, appreciate it." you squeezed Zac slightly, him doing the same to you.

He pulled away from you and rested his hand on your shoulder. "Of course. If you," he looked between you and Joe, “if either of you need anything, please don't hesitate to reach out to me or Sarah. We will gladly help in any way we can."

Joe grinned at his coach, the two of you were so thankful for him and all that he’s done. “Thanks coach, that really means a lot." He nodded, “Of course. I’m going to head out, it was a fun day. Congrats again.” You and Joe both smiled and waved goodbye the the head coach. It was good to have people like Zac Taylor around.

As the rest of the afternoon went on into the evening, you cherished every moment you could with all of yours and Joe's family and friends. Today was special in so many different ways. From seeing your families, to catching up with your best friends and eating delicious food while having so many laughs. But, the best moment of all from today was finding out that your baby is a boy. Today was a day you truly never want to forget--even if your dick older brother Sam refused to show up.

After all of your friends and family left Joe's house, the two of you sat in his backyard, watching the Cincinnati sunset from Joe's patio. Music was playing softly in the background as you sat in silence with each other, watching the beautiful sunset. As the sun began to set, Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band began playing. Joe glanced at you before standing up from his chair. He fiddled with his fingers as he stood in front of you. He looked like a nervous high school boy trying to ask his crush to dance with him.

"You wanna dance?" he asked softly, his eyes looking extremely blue from the golden light shining into them from the sunset. You looked up at Joe through your lashes, a blush making its way onto your cheeks as you nodded. Joe couldn't help but smile as he reached out for your hand. He grabbed your smaller hand, gently pulling you up from your chair. Joe turned the music up just a little bit before he places his hands on your waist. You smiled softly, bringing your arms up to his neck and letting them drop over his shoulders. You looked up at Joe, smiling lovingly at him. Joe did the same, a slight twinkle in his eye as he did so. The two of you began swaying to the music.

Lost for you I'm so lost for you

You come crash into me

And I come into you

You aren't sure what came over you, but as you swayed along to the music and looked intensely into Joe's beautiful baby blues, you laid your head on his chest. You felt Joe's body tense up momentarily, but it soon relaxed and his grip on your waist tightened. So many unspoken feelings were being shared between the two of you just through this moment.

Touch your lips just so I know

In your eyes, love, it glows so

I'm bare boned and crazy for you

"Y/n..." Joe trailed off softly. You hummed against his chest, not wanting to lift your head from his sternum, "I didn’t want to leave you all those years ago,” he said softly as he sucked in a breath, “I meant what I said a few weeks ago. I really do love you."

When I'm holding you so girl

Close to me

Oh and you come crash into me, baby

Your heart swelled at his confession. You've been waiting to hear those words since knowing Joe as Ohio State. Tears welled up in your eyes at his confession. You had been avoiding this conversation ever since you told Sam about the baby a few weeks ago. You avoided it because you were still unsure about your feelings for Joe. You wanted to love him, well you do love him, but you can't help but feel weary. Joe's left you behind before. You know you still need to have a proper conversation about the situation with Joe leaving you at OSU. But, the heart wants what it wants...

As you slowly lifted your head from his chest, Joe leaned down and captured your lips in a sweet kiss. You kissed back, grabbing both sides of his cheeks. The butterflies swarmed in your tummy as you kissed Joe. Being with Joe like you are right now felt so right. It brought you back to your days at OSU before he left for LSU. Just the two of you together, in love, without a care in the world. It felt refreshing to feel that feeling again.

Joe smiled as he pulled away from you. You blushed and wrapped your arms around him once more. You looked up into those blue eyes you found yourself getting lost in every time you looked into them. Even though you were still a little hesitant, you knew this was the right thing. For you, for Joe, and for your son.

Your was voice quiet, yet sincere as you said those three words Joe has waited forever to hear, "I love you, Joe."

hey loves!

sorry this was all over the place lol. i promise the next chapters will be better

so, Y/n and Joe are having a boy!!🩵 did you guess right!? AND Y/n and Joe confessed their love, so sweet ;)

what are your thoughts on sam not being there? he's definitely not being a great brother or friend right now, that's for sure.

the drama will only get more crazy from here, so get ready. this chapter is just the calm before the storm...I promise eventually this series will be all fluff, but that won't be for a while. there's some crazy stuff and some angst happening soon👀

i hope you loves are enjoying this series! i really appreciate all the love and feedback i've been getting on it. it makes me so happy to see all of you share how much you love the series and how excited you are for more updates! all of your comments, reblogs, asks, and likes mean so much to me🤍🤍

tags: @dandelionwrites8 @joeburreauxsworld @theflawedwriter @mrsshiesty @ann288 @ijustcrypretty @theoneandonlyfanz @wickedfun9 @venus-b @hummusxx @stainednailpolishremover @a-moment-captured @alternativemadchen @erinmartin1987 @sirlewisworld @kkrenae @unhingedfangirl @sublimemusic-rebel @meameagirl @ilovejoeburroww @hallecarey1 @j-worlds-blog @blinkloverx3 @jordyn14 @kristencochefski1125 @ryiamarie @unsaidjaelinrose @emherb10

[sorrowfulrosebud]

𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙: Yandere Cassie Cage Headcannons

𝕰𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: Yandere

𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: Yandere behaviour, take that as you will, mentions of a tracking chip, isolation, she uses buff daddy and muscle mummy to her advantage, stalking, mentions of doxing, forced relationship

༒ Cassie is one of the best yanderes to have, no questions asked.

༒ Due to her laid back nature, she’s definitely more lucid and allows her darling to roam around a bit more.

༒ She most likely found you on social media, usually a content creator for her favourite media (whether you write fanfiction or create deep-dives, it’s up to you).

༒ Since she’s so handy with tech, she was able to locate you exactly and make threats to dox you if you didn’t meet up.

༒ Sonya doesn’t really give a shit, mainly because she’s far too busy (plus she and Johnny are yanderes for each other too. Like mother, like daughter). So don’t plan to escape and beg Sonya for help because she’s just gonna drag you back and reprimand Cassie for allowing you to escape.

༒ Not a very demanding yandere, but definitely uses her status as Sonya’s daughter to her advantage. Don’t want to hug? That’s fine, but expect to be left for a few hours.

༒ Doesn’t really get angry unless you try to escape. If she catches you, she immediately knocks you out and moves you to a higher security facility and tightens your restraints.

༒ She is very chill, and very lucid. She tries talking to you about a common ground, or a shared interest. It can be easy to forget just how insane she is.

༒ Cassie loves to gossip with you. She loves explaining the context behind the gossip and encourages your engagement.

༒ While she’s not looking for marriage, she just at least wants someone to love her that’s not family.

༒ She would most likely make you wear a collar with a tracking chip in, but at least make it stylish because she may be insane, but she’s not a monster. If you tried escaping too many times however, she has no qualms burying in the chip deep into your neck.

༒ Johnny is very accepting of your relationship. Of course he’s gutted that his baby girl has a partner, but he introduces himself and even invites you to dinner with him and Sonya (kinda like a double date!). He is a very supportive dad, trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. His wife on the other hand, is the complete opposite.

“So kiddo, where did you and Cassie meet?” Johnny asks you brightly as you were forcefully sat at the dinner table. Cassie knew she didn’t have to restrain you at the table, her freakishly buff dad and military mother more than strong enough to take you down.

“We met at one of their events. They were… nearby and we decided to meet up. It was amazing,” Cassie smiled, trying to feed you some meatloaf. Johnny grinned widely.

“Aw, sounds great Cass-master! You look very happy together,” he laughed. You threw him a bitch-are-you-fucking-serious look and Sonya a very please-help-me-your-daughter-is-insane look. Sonya clears her throat.

“Cassandra, your partner has a staring problem. It’s in your best interest to discipline that out of them before it turns into something serious down the line,” she scolds.

“Ahh, lay off ‘em Sonya. It’s just young love, the kid’s obviously in their first relationship! Don’t you remember how WE were the first time we met,” Johnny grins suavely. Sonya fights back a smile.

“Ew gross, guys. At the dinner table?” Cassie cringes. You can only look on in fear and confusion.

“Anyway, may we be excused? (Y/N) and I want to play a new game I saw on social media,” Cassie asks, fingers weaving with yours. Sonya sighs.

“Yes Cassandra, you may. Don’t forget your chores later on though, and make sure your… partner are aware of the nighttime rules and how we operate at night,” she glares at you pointedly. You gulp in intimidation.

“Of course, mum. Good night, sleep well,” Cassie bids them goodnight. After giving both parents a goodnight kiss, she grabs hold of you and takes you to her room.

“Hey, catch!” She throws you a set of pyjamas as you stare at her wildly. Cassie stares back.

“Well, go on. The bathroom is there, but don’t try anything,” she turns her back to get changed too.

You wander to the bathroom and look at the pyjamas. They were soft and comfortable, with a motif of your favourite video game character. It fit perfectly, which made a shiver go down your back. You were just a gamer, how did everything transpire to this?

You totter out a few minutes later, the pyjamas hugging you tightly. Cassie looks up and smiles seeing you in the new outfit.

“Ah sick, it fits perfectly! Now, come sit down and take a controller. I haven’t played this game, but it’s multiplayer so we’re playing together,” she explained happily, patting the bed.

You obey with a shake in your step, grabbing the controller as she booted the game up. It was surprisingly easy to slip into the game; Cassie threw comments that made you laugh despite your fear. She was a great gamer, but your history proved fruitful as you ran laps around her score.

“Ah shit, it’s late. C’mon, come to bed,” Cassie says, reaching under her bed as you slowly climb into the sheets. She grabs your wrist tightly and cuffs you to the headboard, checking its tightness before kissing your neck and wrapping her arms around your waist.

How the fuck are you gonna survive this?

[soshiharin]

jang siwoo – dad

born: 12 january 1956

status: college maths professor

phone contact: dad/harin

the way this man spoils her… she’s a daddy’s girl for sure. he had always been more understanding about harin’s dreams between him and his wife, but would gently coax her to do what eunkyung wanted

when harin told her parents about being casted for sm, he was hesitant but could see how excited she was, so he spoke with eunkyung about it to change her mind. siwoo always encouraged harin to follow her dreams and would rent out musicals from their local blockbuster for them to watch together

she stayed in close contact with her dad when she was a trainee and they would call every week and just give updates on life. he was the first person she told when she was added to girls’ generation and she sent him their debut album. he’s always supported her and would brag about her to his students

their relationship is very sweet and she’s really just his baby girl

son eunkyung – mom

born: 25 july 1961

status: emergency room doctor

phone contact: mum/harin

she was kind of hard on harin. their relationship was sweeter when she was younger, but by the time she was nine, their relationship had begun to sour. eunkyung was very against harin having a career in the arts and tried to steer her to becoming a doctor. when harin told her she wanted to be an idol, they fought about it for a week before coming to an agreement

harin’s relationship with her mom didn’t improve for a while. they rarely spoke on the phone and would only hear how the other was doing through hajooon and siwoo. harin visited her family for the first time on mother’s day in 2011 and it ended in an arguments between the mother and daughter, and they didn’t speak to each other for two years after

they started mending their relationship in late 2014 when eunkyung sent harin a message to encourage her through the hate she was receiving for her relationship with jungshin. they slowly began to talk to each other again and saw each other for the first time at hajoon’s university graduation. they ended up getting a drink together and just talking about everything and mended their relationship

their relationship nowadays is very sweet and is the relationship harin wished they always had

harrison blake hajoon jang – brother

born: 7 december 1992

status: restaurant owner

phone contact: jang hajoon/harin noona

this is her baby, she basically raised him. no, but seriously. hajoon is her baby brother and she takes such good care of him. when they were younger, they were so so so close and harin was constantly taking care of him. as they grew older, hajoon became protective of harin but she told him to stop bcs… he’s a baby in her eyes

he was super sad when she left to go to korea to be a trainee but he understood that she was living out her dream so he tried to be happy for her. whenever harin would call her dad, hajoon would also talk to her for a while before they hung up. harin was the first person hajoon told about wanting to be a chef and own a restaurant, and she supported him every step of the way. she supported him whenever he was struggling in culinary school, she helped him buy the building for his restaurant, and she is an investor in the restaurant

they still have a close relationship and talk often

jang poppins – dog

born: august 2018

breed: cavalier king charles spaniel

harin found poppins when she was driving home one day and saw him on the road. he was a little puppy and looked very small and injured. harin took him to a vet check him out and make sure he was healthy, and ended up having to leave him overnight

when she returned the next day, the vet said he had improved a lot. harin ended up adopting him two days later. when she first got poppins, he would always stick to her side at all times. he was very nervous around strangers and would growl at them a lot (he still does tbh)

after five months, poppins got more comfortable and felt safer, so he began to act like a normal puppy and now, in present time, they’re absolute besties!

[buckysgrace]

18. Why Won't We

Part eighteen to Every Little Thing!

Gator Tillman x Fem!oc

Gator and Daphne adjust to their new life.

CW: Hand jobs, fingering, handcuffs, Gator and Daphne call each other daddy and mama lol

“Are you moving in with her then?” Roy questioned him within the following week, one morning over breakfast as Gator was getting ready to head out for his shift. He was going to visit Daphne before he left. She was temporarily back at her parents house, deciding that it was for the best for the time being. She said she didn’t feel as rushed finishing the rest of the house either. 

Hugh had indeed found some shitty little apartment but Gator couldn’t understand why he had decided to stay. He would likely get deported once Daphne was officially divorced from him. At least he hoped he would. He didn’t want Hugh around Daphne anymore. He was still partially fearful that she might change her mind about them. He was still debating if he could find something to arrest him for, lock him away for forever. 

“Yeah,” Gator mumbled softly, “We were talking about adding onto the house, you know, not rushing it anymore. We might bounce back and forth with her parents and here until it’s finished.” He shifted back and forth awkwardly, still unsure of how this conversation would go. Roy hadn’t said much about the subject, which was almost worse than him demeaning him for it. 

Bruce seemed to be the only one that wasn’t tiptoeing around the subject. He was ecstatic, proclaiming the news for everyone to hear. It was embarrassing, but Gator was glad that someone seemed to be on their side. Especially since they’d turned into the talk of the town. 

“Oh don’t bring her here,” Karen said quickly, looking stunned, “The girls don’t need to be a part of that situation.” She shook her head in disbelief as she turned her attention away from where the twins were eating, looking like there was no way she’d allow Daphne to stay here. He wasn’t sure how she’d manage to turn on her so quickly. 

“There’s no situation,” He replied quickly in defense of Daphne, “We love each other, what’s the problem?” He asked her seriously, feeling like things were working out for Daphne and him on their own timing. Even if it wasn’t the right way. 

He’d spent every day with her the past week and it hadn’t been awkward or tense. He hadn’t realized how deeply he’d missed her, how deeply he craved her until he officially had her once again.

“You’re doing it all backwards,” Roy replied as he shook his head, “But at least you’re not humiliating yourself by begging for her scraps. When are you marrying her?” He muttered underneath his breath as he took another gulp from his coffee cup. He looked towards Gator seriously, demanding an answer. 

“I don’t know,” Gator mumbled, “She has to get an annulment and go from there.” He replied as he tapped his fingertips against the counter. In truth, he hadn’t thought much about marriage yet. He had a feeling she wouldn’t want to quickly jump into another wedding after she had just finished having one. At least she wouldn’t have to get another dress. 

“I don’t think Bruce will have an issue figuring that out.” Roy snorted to himself, looking a little amused at the thought. It was odd to think that Bruce seemed to be their biggest supporter at the moment. He was almost more giddy about it than Gator was. 

“Probably not,” Gator agreed, “Soon. It’ll probably be soon.” He said at last, feeling like that was a good enough answer. He’d have about nine months to figure it out. He supposed it would only be kind to wait until after she had a baby, that way she didn’t need any more alterations to her dress. 

“Roy,” Karen turned towards him again, “I don’t want-,” She began to whine again, looking frustrated before Roy held his hand up to cut her off. She winced, stepping back several feet like she had expected to be hit. 

“I didn’t ask what you wanted,” Roy shut her down just as quickly, “Watch the tone. Daphne has always been like family. She can stay here.” He nodded at Gator, giving him the go ahead before he turned back to his newspaper. Gator lingered for only a moment, meeting the fiery look in Karen’s eye before he walked out the door.

The drive to Daphne’s was as short as usual and he got an odd sense of joy when he realized that he could technically call the house theirs. They’d probably be living there for a long, long time. He wondered if she’d want her own farm animals or if they’d just keep lingering on their parent’s farms. He supposed it’d be safer to help them for right now.

“Mornin’,” She greeted, smiling brightly as she held one hand in the air to shield the sun from her eyes. Her hair was flowing in the summer breeze. She had on a green shirt that matched the white skirt she was wearing. It was decorated with green grapes that reflected nicely off of her skin tone, “You’re up early.” She teased as he stepped out of his cruiser. 

He took long strides towards her, grinning as he cupped her jaw and brought her closer to him. He paused for just a second, letting their noses brush together before he brought his lips down against hers. She tasted like honey, her lips slightly sticky from the lip gloss she’d put on earlier.

“That was nice,” She breathed out harshly as they pulled away, her blue eyes wide as she looked up at him, “Good morning to you too.” She laughed softly as she tugged her lips into a smile and began to brush her thumb across his shoulders.

“Just missed you,” He grinned as he placed another chaste kiss to her lips, “Find anything special today?” He questioned, looking down at the basket between them. She shrugged her shoulders as she lifted the little cloth material, showing off the chicken eggs she’d collected. 

“Not really,” She smiled as she put the cloth back over the eggs, “I can bring you something for lunch today. I have that interview.” She reminded him, looking a little eager at the aspect. He thought otherwise. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her to do it at all.

“You should rest,” He reminded her, still trying to piece together how close in this pregnancy as she had been to when she’d lost the first baby, “There’s no rush to getting back to work.” He reminded her, thinking that he preferred for her to be home right now. He honestly didn’t want her to have a job, not when it meant her getting more stressed out. He could care for her.

He pressed his thumb across her skin softly, wondering what she’d look like in a few months when her belly swelled. He chewed on his bottom lip, a little fearful that her pregnancy might go the same way that it did last time. He knew that she was just as scared, if not more, for the same reason.

“I would be doing office work,” She huffed softly, “It’s not that dangerous.” She smiled as she looked at him, shaking her head in disbelief like he was saying something silly. He didn’t think his words were funny at all. 

“You should relax,” He dismissed her, “It’s healthier. You have that option.” He reminded her, feeling like she should make that choice. He didn’t want her to stress herself out or for her to get into any danger. 

“I haven’t gotten the job just yet.” She watched him for a moment, her eyes gentle as she scanned over his features. He was sure she was reading him, the same way he was reading her. He didn’t think she was broken, but he thought this would be the best way to protect her. 

“So there’s nothing wrong,” He grinned as he leaned over to kiss her temple repeatedly, “You can help your mom and Karen. Just no heavy lifting.” He told her quickly, smiling at the way she scoffed in return. 

“I’m not going to break.” She reminded him quickly, her eyes raising as if she was trying to remind him that. He nodded his head as he brushed his finger over his chin. It was easy for her to state that, but it was harder for him to agree to it. 

“You might,” He chuckled, “Just take it easy, mama.” He teased her, enjoying the way her cheeks flushed as she squinted up towards him again. He squeezed her cheek playfully, hoping that she’d understand his point. 

“I feel awkward being here when you’re not.” She admitted as she furrowed her eyebrows together and gently let herself rest against his touch. He was sure it had everything to do with Karen. He could only imagine the things that she’d been saying to her. 

“Don’t feel that way,” He told her seriously, “They know you.” He nodded his head reassuringly, knowing that Roy still cared for her at least. Karen really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. 

“That’s not the issue,” She sighed softly, “Everyone looks at me differently now.” She told him truthfully. He knew what she meant. He’d gotten the same looks from people. He didn’t think that Karen would be one to gossip that quickly, but he wasn’t sure whom else to blame either. 

“It’s because you’re my little whore,” He grinned as he brushed his thumb against her cheek, earning a groan of protest from her, “I’m just teasing you. Ignore them. We’re happy, that’s all that matters.” He told her quickly, but he knew it was easier said than done. This weekend he’d treat her to something special, let them get out of this bitter town for a few hours.

“You’re right,” She said softly as she stood on her tippy toes to press her lips against his again, “Have a good day at work. Be safe.” She said sweetly, her eyes flashing like sapphires as he felt a rush of reassurance again. 

/////////////////////////////

Dinner that night was awkward. His house didn’t have the same relaxed atmosphere as hers did. He almost preferred the constant teasing by August and Bruce to the silent treatment they were both getting here. Maude and Jessica weren’t even speaking, like they had picked up on the uncomfortable tension. 

Karen had cooked pork chops, but they were slightly too overdone. So overdone that by the time he got it chewed down his jaw was aching. The potatoes and green beans weren’t too bad, he supposed. Daphne was at least munching them down, but he couldn’t tell if it was out of nerves or because she was that hungry. 

“It’s good,” She complimented as she stabbed another roasted potato, “Thank you for having me over.” She smiled kindly, trying to make some sort of conversation as she nodded towards Karen and Roy. Karen, as usual, ignored her. Roy simply nodded, his smile brief. 

“When do we get to be flower girls?” Maude asked this time, furrowing her eyebrows as she looked towards Daphne confused. He gulped hard, realizing how confusing this must be towards them. 

“Uh,” Gator coughed, covering up his mouth as he dropped his hands to his lap, “It’ll take a little bit longer.” He answered for Daphne, noticing the way her face had flushed. She pulled her glass of water to her lips, taking a big gulp before she used her palm to wipe the excess free. 

“Are you dating Gator now?” Jessica giggled as she asked her question, looking as if it was very important to know. Maude giggled in response, covering her mouth like it was a big secret. Daphne’s lips twitched softly as she slowly began to warm up. 

“Yes,” Daphne spit out, “I am.” She grinned as she looked towards him, her expression warm and inviting. He suddenly felt nervous, completely lost in the way she was looking at him. He’d never had someone bear that expression towards him before. 

“Why?” Maude asked again, wrinkling her nose up like she couldn’t figure out what it was. Gator paused for just a moment, waiting until Roy and Karen were distracted before he stuck his tongue out at the both of them. They erupted into a fit of giggles, only to be shushed. He quickly decided that he wouldn’t quiet his future child for laughing at the table. 

“He’s funny,” Daphne decided at last, “And he makes me really happy. And I love him.” She added a few more reasons quickly, her cheeks turning pink as a smirk formed on his lips. He could feel a teasing tone coming forth as he turned towards her a little better. 

“Gross,” Maude replied as the same time Jessica said ew. They both wrinkled up their noses in the same manner, “Yucky.” They said in agreement as they shook their heads. He chuckled softly, thinking about how he’d once thought the same way that they did. 

“When you’re flower girls you’ll have to see us kiss.” Daphne teased them as she leaned forward, her face scrunching up as the girls set off into another chorus of disgust. Gator felt his heart flutter as he admired her features; admired the effortless way she was able to tease them. 

“Oh no,” Karen spoke up quickly, “That is not happening anymore.” She shook her head quickly, dismissing all of them. Daphne quickly sat back, looking a little embarrassed as Gator rolled his eyes. He was sure Karen would eventually come back around to it. 

“But mom-,” Maude started this time, her eyebrows furrowed in frustration before Roy waved his hand to silence her. Karen looked a little triumphant, like she already knew that Roy would be on her side. 

“Girls,” Roy said sternly to silence them, “Don’t whine. We don’t even know if a wedding is happening now. Unless Gator has proposed since our last conversation.” He shot Gator a harsh look before he turned back down to his plate. Daphne flushed again, mirroring the warmth that Gator felt on his cheeks. 

Dinner trudged on after that, just as awkward and tense as what it started with. Daphne no longer tried to make conversation, resorting to being quiet as everyone waited for Roy to finish. Sometimes Gator wondered if he just enjoyed seeping in the tense atmosphere from everyone else.

They did the dishes together while Karen worked on getting the twins ready for bed. Roy lingered about, sipping on his drink of choice as he watched Fox News. Gator did his best to block it out, too focused on the way Daphne kept pretending to splash him with the water.

It was risky, but they waited until Roy finally retreated towards the room before they slipped into the shower together. It took everything in him to keep his hands to himself, trying not to let his dirty thoughts rush down to his cock. But it was difficult when he was around her. 

“Maybe we should stay with my parents,” Daphne told him after, whispering as he finished drying his hair, “Obviously we’ll see them both equally for holidays but,” She stopped for a moment, “I can’t stand Karen.” She added at last, glancing towards the door like she feared Karen might hear her. 

“That changed quickly,” He teased her as he joined her on the bed. She grinned as she scooted a little closer, resting on her side as she brought her palm up against her chest, “Not many people like Karen. She’s a bit of a bitch.” He said truthfully, wrinkling up his nose as she began to brush her fingers through his chest hair.

“I wasn’t going to say that,” She drew out with a playful smile, “But she can be rude.” She stated at last, looking a little more blissful. He dragged his eyes over her features, a little enamored with the way her eyes twinkled in his room. 

“Mhm,” He nodded in agreement to her, “We won’t have to stay here long.” He reassured her, excited at the prospect of having their own place together. He’d never really thought about his future in that aspect, but he knew she had. He just figured his future was wherever she was. 

“It’s weird lying in your room,” She said a second later as she rolled over on her back, “I feel like all of these bikini models are judging me.” She giggled out as she looked around the room, examining the walls. 

“Probably because they’re not as hot as you.” He teased her, amused at the way her nose crinkled back up again. She shook her head before she rolled her eyes dramatically. 

“Oh you’re funny,” She grinned at him, “You have jokes, huh?” She smiled as she crawled over top of him, gripping both of his hands as she straddled his waist. He squeezed their fingers together, swaying her back and forth for a moment. 

“It’s not a joke,” He told her seriously as he rolled her back onto her back quickly. She squealed, laughing as he situated himself between her legs. She huffed, trying to blow the loose strands of hair from her face as he traced his fingers back up the length of her arms, “You’re very sexy.” He told her truthfully, taking advantage of her temporary trance to snap the handcuffs along her wrists.

“Hey,” She wiggled her head back and forth, moving her hair out of the way so she could fully see him, “Now you’re taking it too far, buddy.” She laughed breathlessly, though her eyes were wide in surprise. 

“Am I?” He cocked his eyebrows as his lips curled into a smirk. He hooks his fingers along the band of her pajama pants, enjoying the way that her body shivered as he quickly yanked them down her legs, “Just missed you. You did so well at dinner.” He mumbled softly as he slid his body down the length of the mattress.

He wrapped his long fingers around her ankles, squeezing them softly before he pushed them up towards her chest. She gaped, taken aback for a moment as he positioned himself between her legs. He rested his legs underneath her thighs, watching the way she slowly wiggled herself up higher to get a better look at him.

He traced his fingers over her clothed pussy, enjoying the way she rolled her hips up against his touch. He leaned forward, kissing a pattern down her soft thigh as he breathed in her sweet aroma. He kissed along her clothed mound, earning a low moan from her lips.

He slowly dragged her panties down her hips, groaning as he took in her puffy pussy. He moved three of his fingers up to her wet folds, pressing down on her softly to savor the feeling of her against his fingertips. 

“S’pretty,” He grinned as he looked up at her, noticing the way her lips were parted and how her eyebrows were furrowed, “Prettiest tang I ever seen.” He complimented as he slid his middle finger lower, slowly letting it slide within her gleaming hole. 

“Gator,” She whined as she held her head back, trying to keep her burning features away from him. She moaned, her walls fluttering as she eagerly invited his finger inside, “Mhm. Feels good.” She mumbled softly, keeping quiet like she was fearful of someone hearing them. 

He slowly pumped his finger inside of her, rolling his tongue around in his mouth as he waited to see just how loud he could get her. He glanced down between their bodies, in awe at the way her cunt easily swallowed his finger.

“She takes me so well,” He praised, enjoying the feeling of her slick dripping along the length of his finger, “Your tang is so tight. My little whore takes my fingers so well.” He smirked, watching the way her flush spread down her neck. 

He pressed another one inside of her, stretching her softly as he slid his digits against her slick walls. He groaned at how wet she was, how warm she felt as he slowly curled his fingers up into the way she liked.

“Oh,” She gasped, moaning softly as she pressed her heels against the mattress and began to grind herself against the length of his fingers. He watched in amusement, feeling his cock beginning to throb at her actions as he let her tease herself, “Right there. Oh fuck.” She cursed, breathing out harshly as he moved his thumb up to play with her clit.

“Feel good?” He mocked her, teasing her as he continued to slowly drag his fingers inside of her wet walls. He could feel his cock aching against his boxers, begging to be freed to feel her stretched around his thick girth, “You’re such a little slut. You know that, right?” He mumbled as he kissed her inner thigh, enjoying the way her blue eyes shot down towards him.

“Yeah,” She crooned as she rocked herself harder against his fingers, searching for the spot inside of her that made her twitch in pleasure. He watched in interest, enjoying the way she fucked herself on his fingers, “Wanna feel your cock, daddy.” She begged him, making a moan slip free from his lips. 

“Mhm,” He hummed playfully as he rested his body next to her, enjoying the way she tugged on the headboard as he began to grind his fingers deep against her spongy walls. He slowly rocked his cock against her hip, enjoying the way her moans fell from her lips, “Soon.” He promised, even though he had other plans.

He licked at her left nipple, enjoying how hard they were in the cool air as he began to rub his palm against her aching clit. Her moans grew louder as she began to cry out, pressing her hips up roughly against his fingers. He curled them deeply, pressing against her bundle of nerves as he traced his teeth along her nipple gently. 

“God,” She spit out, whining deeply as her leg shook against his throbbing cock. He groaned as he spit against her tit, watching the way it slid down the valley of her body before he moved his lips up the curve of her neck, “Daddy, oh fuck!” She cursed again, whining as she pressed her legs tightly against his arm.

She shook around him, moaning deeply as her sounds filled his ears in a melodic symphony. He groaned, licking up the curve of her neck before he pressed his lips hard against hers. He kissed away her sounds of pleasure, licking at her plump lips as she squirmed underneath him.

“Such a good girl for daddy,” He teased her, his warm breath fanning over her face as he slowly withdrew his fingers from her wet cunt. He groaned as he brought them up to his mouth, taking his time to swirl and lick her slick from his fingers, “Taste so sweet.” Her eyes were wide with lust as she stared at him, tugging on the handcuffs once again. He laughed, feeling a little proud of himself as he slowly slid his boxers down the length of his legs. She exhaled harshly, staring at his hard cock in want as he slowly wrapped his fingers around his girth.

He groaned, putting on a little show for her as he gave his cock a few quick tugs. He was eager to do more, to touch himself more in depth but quickly stopped himself. He wanted to feel her, desperately needed to feel part of her against himself. 

He moved up her body, straddling over her chest as a small gasp left her lips. She stared up at him in interest, her mouth opened widely as she wiggled harder underneath him. He pressed on her shoulder for just a second, urging her to stop her movements. 

He pinched her nipples, enjoying the way she cried out as he slid his cock between her slippery tits. He pressed them together, watching the way her eyes crossed temporarily before she looked up at him again.

She was breathtaking. Her features flushed, pink lips parted in bliss as her eyebrows were raised slightly on her forehead. He leaned over again, puckering his lips as he let a glob of spit fall onto the corner of her mouth.

She moaned loudly, sticking her tongue out eagerly as she licked his saliva away. He took the moment to squeeze her perky tits harder against his cock, groaning at the feeling of her flesh against his girth.

He moved slowly, exhaling roughly as he rocked his hips along her skin. The sensation from the lube left it easier to move, making his cock easily slide against the curve of tits. He groaned at the sensation of his balls dragging against her chest.

“Fuck,” He breathed out, his eyelashes fluttering shut before he quickly opened his eyes again. She was too pretty to ignore; too captivating as he watched the way she greedily stared at his cock, “You wanna taste it, mama?” He teased her, watching her eyes dilate as she slowly nodded her head.

He was rock hard, throbbing as he pressed his pink tip against her lips. He slowly traced the curve of her mouth, watching the way her lips puckered out against his tip from the motions. She flicked her tongue out quickly, taking a few languid strokes as another groan left his mouth.

“S’nice,” She breathed out harshly, eyes bright as she pressed a quick kiss against his slit. She licked at it softly, rolling his precum around her mouth before she swallowed dramatically. He stroked himself slowly, nearly unable to handle the teasing, “Please, daddy. I wanna suck your cock.” She spoke lustfully, whispering the dirty words like they used to do once upon a time.

“Greedy bitch,” He cursed as he slid his fat tip through her lips, sure that he took her by surprise at the way her eyes widened. She moaned against his skin, making his whole body vibrate in pleasure. He felt his fingers clench together into fists to his sides as he resisted the urge to grip her hair and rut his cock into her mouth as he pleased, “Such a good whore, taking daddy’s cock like that.” 

She slowly licked around his tip, then rolled her tongue along his veins as she invited him inside of her warm mouth. He felt his eyes flutter at the sensation, a small whimper falling free from how good it felt. He felt her hollow her cheeks as she slowly began to guide herself up and down the length of his cock. 

He traced his fingertips up her shoulders, up to her elbows before he finally reached her wrists. He held onto the cuffs for just a second, squeezing one last time before he freed her. She moved like lightning, gripping a hold of his thighs as she eagerly began to move her mouth along his cock.

He groaned as he looked down at her doe eyes that seemed to mirror the same pleasure that he was currently feeling. Drool leaked from the side of her mouth as she gagged around his cock, the tip of him hitting the back of her throat with each of her frantic movements. 

His cock felt heavy against her tongue as she slowly rolled it across his veins. He could feel a bead of sweat forming on the back of his neck as she rolled him deeper and deeper inside of her warm mouth. He rocked his hips forward, unable to help himself as she released one hand from his thighs. 

She closed her eyes then, furrowing her eyebrows in concentration as she took him as deep as she could. He hissed in pleasure, snapping his hips forward harshly as he thought about how good it would feel to have her mouth completely engulf his cock.

She pulled away with a cough, her eyes brimming with tears as she quickly stroked him in her hand. He grunted a little louder, completely chasing his high again as he began to rut his cock against her slippery palm.

“Feel good, daddy?” She teased him as she kissed the base of his cock, licking softly as she continued squeezing her fingers around his thick girth. Her words raced across his body, spreading through his veins as the pleasure grew warmer through his body.

“So fucking good,” He hissed out frantically as he continued to fuck himself into her hand, a small cry leaving his mouth as she began to lick at his balls. She moved her tongue slowly, teasingly as she rolled each one around in her mouth, “Jesus.” He grumbled as he gripped a hold of the bed post for support. 

“You wanna cum on my face?” She whispered seductively, her eyes wide and flirtatious as he watched her in bliss. He nodded his head quickly, the muscles in his stomach clenching tightly together as his thrusts became more frantic and slow.

He spit out a flurry of curses, the pleasure white hot in his body as he came through clenched teeth. He whined, grunting as she continued to roll her hand up and down the length of his cock as spurts of white cum landed across her chin and cheeks. He huffed, pressing roughly against her hand as the last little bit oozed out between her tits.

“Oh,” She exhaled in awe as she stared down at it, the white on her face sticking out from her flushed features, “S’nice. You did so good for me.” She praised him gently, sending him a sly wink before she reached down to kiss at his softening cock again.

His thighs shook a bit as he rolled off of her, plopping roughly against the mattress as he did his best to catch his breath. His mind was swirling, pleasure still racing up his body as he blindly reached next to his table for some tissues.

“Let me see,” He mumbled as he reached over her to wipe her face clean. She blinked slowly, her features wrinkling up cutely as she smiled in appreciation. He held onto her face gently with one hand as he did his best to wipe his mess away in a soft manner, “S’all better.” He teased her, quite preferring to see her covered in his cum.

“Thank you, daddy,” She teased him again, earning a soft groan from his lips before she quickly covered it with her mouth. She moved her lips against his deeply, almost desperately as she kissed away his soft sounds, “How will I get used to this?” She laughed a second later, almost looking to be in disbelief.

“You’re telling me,” He smirked as he moved a little closer to her, pulling her against his chest as he grazed his eyes across her pretty features, “What are you doing later?” He asked her, even though it was a ridiculous question. They were living together, yet he still felt like he needed to ask her out the proper way. 

“I have an ultrasound,” She said softly, “Do you want to go with?” She chewed on her bottom lip as she knitted her eyebrows together, looking like she really wasn’t sure how he would respond. He tilted his head, almost offended by her reaction. 

“Is there a reason I wouldn’t?” He asked her seriously as he tilted her chin in his direction so she could look at him better. She licked at her bottom lip, looking like she wasn’t sure how to answer him at first. 

“I just thought you might be busy working,” She said as she shrugged her shoulders softly, “I just don’t want to bother you.” She wrinkled her nose softly before she glanced down to her hands, like she was afraid of how he’d react. He kissed the side of her cheek, wishing he could erase the wall that continued to stay between them. 

“I’ll take the day off,” He reassured her, “We’re gonna do this together, remember?” He reminded her as he moved her messy hair from her face. He watched the way her expression softened before he leaned down to kiss her lips again. 

“I know,” She leaned against him, “I’m just nervous about it all.” She admitted to him. He ran his fingers across her tummy gently, wondering when she would begin to show. She didn’t look like she’d gained any weight thus far. 

“I understand,” He told her truthfully, “But I’ll be here the whole time.” He told her, hoping that it might make her feel a little better. This time, he didn’t want her to go through any of it alone. Or for her to feel like she had to. 

“Good,” She smiled as she held onto him, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She mumbled softly, making him feel a little better. 

[doctorstethoscope]

Fluffy February Day 22 || Kitchen

pairing: hotch x reader (yes mr president universe)

wordcount: 792

contains: mentions of food, mentions of guns

“This is rosemary,” you narrate to Joshua as he plays in the dirt. You pull a few sprigs off and scoop him up in your arms. “Come on, baby boy. Are you gonna help mama in the kitchen?”

You set him in his high chair next to you, and his version of “helping” is making a mess of a little bit of flour you’d sprinkled onto his tray while you rolled out your dough. Aaron was gone for the day, attending some fundraiser to support a Senate candidate in a tight race in New Hampshire. Jack was away at summer camp, and you were a little lonely. It was silly, because Aaron had only left that morning and he’d be back in time for dinner, but the two of you rarely spent any time apart these days. Only a few short years ago, the two of you would go months without talking, let alone seeing each other, and now eating lunch without him felt like missing a limb.

Joshua claps his hands excitedly, watching the powder cascade off of him in whisps and distracting you from your train of thought. “Good job, handsome boy,” you coo at him. “Go ahead and make a big mess, we have to take a bath tonight anyways,” you tell him as you preheat the oven. You crack an egg into a bowl and Joshua laughs out loud, making you giggle as you add in the rosemary and some salt to make an egg wash. Once the bread’s in the oven, you pull Joshua out of his high chair and bring him to the bathroom.

“Alright, my messy boy,” you say, plopping him in the tub of warm water. “What did you think of our mommy and baby day?” she asks as she works over his skin with a warm washcloth, and he babbles back, splashing at the shallow water. “Yeah, not so bad, huh?” you agree with nothing in particular. “It’s better when Daddy’s here, though. Don’t you think?”

 “I don’t know, it doesn’t look like you need me for much of anything,” A familiar voice says from behind you. 

“Aaron!” you exclaim. “You’re early.” 

“Secret Service didn’t like the idea of me knocking strangers’ doors and asking them to vote,” he explains. “A lot of people have guns in New Hampshire, you know.”

“A lot of people have guns here, Aaron. Including the ten agents surrounding the property,” you remind him in a teasing tone.

“Yeah, well, I try not to knock on anybody’s door for a cup of sugar,” he says, settling in on the floor next to you and the tub. “Speaking of which, what’s baking downstairs? It smells phenomenal.” 

“Oh! That’s my bread. It’s probably about ready,” you realize. 

“Go ahead, I got it here,” he says, reaching for the washcloth in your hand.

“You don’t want to change out of your suit first? You just walked in the door,” she offers. 

He shrugs. “They’re just clothes. We’ll wash ‘em. I really don’t want that bread to burn, it’s making my mouth water.” 

You smile at him in thanks as you rush downstairs and pull the bread out– it’s perfect, you’ve gotten to it just in the nick of time. You set it to cool, pulling out some sandwich ingredients out of the fridge to make dinner for you and Aaron. He comes down a little while later, holding your perfect, snuggly boy wrapped up in a hooded towel embroidered with a duck’s face just as you’re cutting the sandwiches in half and putting some potato chips on the plates. 

“Oh, my perfect boy!” You coo, reaching your arms out towards him, just as he reaches towards you. You take him from your husband and sprinkle kisses all over his freshly-cleaned face. 

“What about me?” Aaron says with a mock-pout.

“Come here, my perfect man,” you smile, bringing the hand not holding Joshua to your husband’s face, leaving one much longer and deeper kiss against his lips.

“How was the rally?” You ask as you turn back to the sandwiches. Aaron doesn’t answer, and you turn back to look at him. “Hon? You in there?” You tease, finding him looking right back at you and 3,000 miles away at the same time. 

“Sorry, it’s just—” he starts, and trails off. 

“You don’t believe that it’s real, either?” You ask, looking up at him in a smile. He didn’t need to explain. You knew. You felt the same way. “You get to bake bread. And we get to have babies,” he agrees with a laugh, nuzzling his face into your neck and planting kiss after kiss on any skin he could reach. “Lots, and lots, and lots of babies,” you both stifle giggles.

tagging: @spacecowboyhotch @honeybrowne @angelfxllcm @rousethemouse @infinite-tides @gspenc @anlin2058 @zetasaturno99 @realdirectionx @witheldclouds @sbeno22 @el-vs94 @hausofwhores

[invisiblegarters]

OF Character Rankings and Ramblings - Ep 10

Last week, everyone decided to be mature and actually talk to each other for a change and it was very jarring. Mew boomeranged back to being sensible, Nick and Sand tried to feel the power of love with each other and failed spectacularly (and were very adorable about it), Top and Ray did some boundary pushing that the people they were infringing on were into in spite of their protests, and Cheum was back to her usual MO of having three lines if she's lucky. Atom was very creepy and I looked at him and said oh boy you're gonna cause all the trouble. Boeing showed up to prove that Top has a type and also to make us all understand exactly why Sand's still pissed. I get it, Sand. Also, Nick decided to move on with Daddy Dan but still made time to stalk Boston and a hookup to the toilets and give him a heartfelt speech that was actually really sweet and clearly got to him, and Ray and Mew finally fucking broke up thank all the gods in every universe. They had a great conversation that was my second favorite thing about the episode. There was lots of great communication happening.

So of course we had to make up for it this week with a lot of people being very stupid.

And be forewarned, I am very ornery today and also frustrated. So maybe don't read if you don't want to see that frustration expressed. That said, if you continue and you want to talk about any point, that would be a lot of fun. I'm always up for a friendly exchange of views.

So let's get to it, shall we?

Character Rankings (Fave to Least fave atm)

Boston. Nope, nope, and nope. Fuck you show. Fuck you for having your characters imply or outright state that Boston's sluttiness means he's on par with being a sexual predator. And fuck you for the "Atom likes girls. What did you do to him?" line. I really hope that this isn't going to be left at that, because I'm incredibly over the constant conflation of Boston's promiscuity with deviance or some sort of moral failing. He's an asshole. He likes to sleep around. The two things aren't actually related and I'm SICK of seeing them treated like they're one in the same. STOP IT. And don't think I don't see parts of fandom doing the same, because I do. People really need to stop treating promiscuity or lack thereof as though it has anything to do with morality.

That done with, I have to say that I've been super impressed with Neo and with Boston as we've gone on. I don't need or want some big sob story to be the reason that he's an ass, and I am tentatively hopeful that it won't be the case. But I have been enjoying the way we're seeing him grow by increments. Boston's not nice, he's not a very good person generally, and I think that he's been coming to terms with that and with how he feels about it as the series has gone on. It hasn't been flashy - in fact it's been subtle enough that I almost didn't notice it - but the Boston that he was in episode one is not the one we're looking at in episode ten, and I love it to bits because the type of reflection he's doing is the type I've done with myself. I really really REALLY hope they don't pull the "reformed character is now monogamous" thing because as I've said, that's not actually a problem and shouldn't be considered one. But I do really love that he's clearly reflecting on some of the choices he's made and trying to decide if maybe he doesn't want to keep making some of them in the future.

Also his reactions when he realized that his friends really believed he could do what Atom was accusing him of...just great work.

Simply put, I adore him.

Sand. My ride or die baby, this one. I've already said it, but I'll say it again. I do not care what this man does. I support him. Every stupid decision, every misstep, every ridiculously misguidedly noble thing. I will just be like "you do you baby, because you are amazing."

Was he dumb to not keep Ray's daddy's money? YES. Did I actually expect him to? Lol no. That's just not my man. Not even a little bit. It's not just limited to Ray, either. Sand has some noble ideas about money that I really would like to smack out of his beautiful dumb head because that kind of thinking only really works for people who can afford it, but I love him anyway. That said, I will maintain until that I am blue in the face he did nothing wrong (maybe that's my bias showing but let's be real here, whatever Ray's dad said Sand's desire to help Ray was always going to come from caring for him first and foremost). Honestly he should take the money as reparations for all the shit Ray's put him through. Putting the blame on him for Ray's hurt boggles my mind, because something hurts you it doesn't automatically make the other person wrong. That's a lesson a lot of people could stand to learn, frankly. But I half expect Sand to blame himself for it anyway, because that's what he does. He internalizes, blames himself, subsumes whatever he may be feeling in favor of the other person. I no longer think he's going to snap (although who knows a lot can happen in two episodes in this show) but I still think the man could use a good hug, and for someone to tell him that his constant care for people who like to throw it in his face is appreciated. You know. To him, and not an imaginary version of him that can only be full of calm acceptance.

Now, when it comes to the alcohol business. While yes, that is a source of income for him, if he's serious about helping Ray and it's going to be a real problem for him to do that (and there's every indication that it is), if he chooses to get rid I will not blame him or consider it particularly stupid. To me, it's different from dad's money because one hurts Ray's feelings, the other could legitimately fuck with his road to recovery. If he wants to stay with Ray (and there is no indication given by him that he doesn't, even after that fight), then that is a step he might need to take to help him, if he can safely do it. And to be fair, we've been given no indication that he can't do that, either. Although it would be interesting to explore what might happen if he couldn't, I don't think we have enough time for that.

Mew. God help me, I love a petty bitch.

Look. I don't do the OF tags anymore because I've found it's better for my peace of mind overall, but I've seen enough around here and elsewhere to know that a lot of people are now sick of him (although a lot of people were sick of him from episode one, lol). They think that this episode he took the petty shit too far, and that if he's not going to just take Top back he should tell him and let him move on. There's also a lot of annoyance with the way he acted during the confronting Boston scene.

To all that I say I hear you, but I'm going to have to disagree. I get him a lot with the Top thing, in fact. He was hurt, but worse, he was humiliated, and all this is because he doesn't want to be fooled again. He still doesn't trust his own judgment. He's back to testing everything Top does and says now because he wants to believe him, but if he believes him and Top does it again, then it's no longer Top who's to blame. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And Boeing is really really good at playing with those fears.

I do feel a little more iffy about the Boston thing, though. The little pat on the shoulder amused me at the time, I won't lie, but the more I think about it the more annoyed I get. He had no right to open his mouth, and he wasn't really there to give moral support to Cheum or even because was concerned about Atom. He was there to watch Boston suffer. Not cool, my dude. I'd be more amused by the whole thing if not for the SA subject, and for the constant slut shaming that goes along with it.

Boeing. Speaking of petty bitches. This man is out here doing the most for this episode at least, I'm not mad about it (he hurts Sand though and all bets are fucking off, did you not read what I wrote about him?). I wish that he'd been brought in a little earlier, mostly because he feels extremely plot devicey, but I can't say I don't like looking at him or don't admire just how petty he can be. I genuinely don't know if he actually wants Top back or if he just wants to break him, and that's kind of fun. Also his little digs at Mew were hilarious. I kept trying to manifest a threesome between him, Mew and Top but I guess I wasn't doing it right because the show did not oblige. There's always Ray and Sand or my personal favorite, a flashback to one with Top and Sand. And that's why Sand doesn't do threesomes.

Ray. Oh, Ray. Raymond. Here's another one that I came out of the episode with initial thoughts and then the more I sat on them, the more they changed. Or not changed but. Sigh. Okay, let's try to be coherent here.

I want to start off by saying I do not blame Ray for going off the way he did when he thought that Sand was taking money from his dad. I know that sounds contradictory when I have also said Sand was stupid for not taking the money, but being able to see why Ray was upset doesn't mean I think Sand should pretend he couldn't use the money. And as I already said he kind of deserves it for all the shit Ray puts him through.

Anyway, I don't blame Ray for his upset, mostly because I really do think he was coming at it from a place of hurt, because look. I am not Ray's biggest fan and probably never will be since he is constantly hurting my personal favorite, but it seems extremely clear to me that what went down with Ray is the same thing that happened with Sand in episode 5: he found out a piece of information that made him recalibrate his entire relationship with Sand, and he came some very unhappy conclusions. The fact that he's wrong doesn't change that. Because from Ray's POV Sand went and made him fall in love with him, convinced him he cared, and now Ray's doing this huge thing for him (which is part of why I love that first therapy session - Ray treats it like a chore, like something he has to get over with so that he can appease Sand and fulfil his end of a bargain he half thought Sand would back out of, and that's EXACTLY how he should have treated it because that's how he felt about it then) and the whole time Sand wasn't doing any of it because he cared like he made Ray believe, he was just doing as his father paid him to do. He was always gonna find a way to get out of it initially anyway, but this was delicious to me personally because god help me, I love the kind of anguish that comes with caring so much for someone and then having to suspect that every time they claimed to feel the same they were doing it under false pretenses. Sue me. Only don't because I don't have a lot of money.

And I do think deep down he probably knew better. But when has rationality ever gotten a look in with Ray? He's a live wire, he's too fucking reactive to sit down for two seconds and think. Which is where my issues come in but just a sec, we're not there yet.

I really liked his second therapy session. I liked how different it was from the first, how obvious it is that he's now determined to at least try, even if he still doesn't think that he needs to be there. He's still doing it for Sand, but less in a "I'm going to tick this box so he'll shut up" way and more in a "I want to try to be better for him" way, which to me does make a difference. As the therapist said, people go to rehab for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes it's for themselves. Often it's for someone else. And that's okay. Sometimes it's easier to fight for someone else than it is to fight for yourself.

The entire last scene with Ray breaking down was painful to watch, and like everyone else I have to commend Khaotung for his performance. He really went all out and that's what makes the scene so powerful. I commend First as well, because I can't imagine how hard it was to walk the line he had to walk as imaginary Sand, and also not start crying in sympathy. I mean, it got me and I wasn't even in the same room, and we all know how First gets whenever Khaotung cries. They've certainly talked about it enough. I swear, this drama is a crash course in forcing First not to cry.

The scene was raw and painful, and I really felt Ray's desperation and sadness and remorse.

That said, I can't help but have trust issues. Ray is very good at apologizing and then demonstrably learning nothing. With one exception (Sand told him to stop throwing money at him because it makes him uncomfortable, and to my knowledge Ray has not made a habit of doing so since), Ray seems to think that apologizing means that he can go right back to the same behavior. This one does seem different in that he's way more devastated, and it was clear enough that he was apologizing for a lot more than going off at Sand in his apartment, but I can't help but worry that he'll just retreat back to form when Sand inevitably forgives him as he has so many times before (and that we'll never hear him say even a fraction of that to Sand's actual face, which if he doesn't I really hope bites him in the ass later).

I want to believe in Ray, I do. Despite myself I like the guy and I would really love to stop seeing him take one step forward, two steps back all the time. But as I said I have trust issues.

Ray's Dad. I knew he actually gave a shit. He's horrible at expressing it and he's clearly at his wit's end with Ray and his self-destruction, but he cares. And I believe him when he says that he wanted to pay Sand because he admires him. Here this dude is out here doing so much for his unappreciative son, and he clearly doesn't have the same resources that this man has. It'd impress me too. And frankly for that much alone he should have offered him money. I get that he thinks that Ray will be more likely to listen to Sand than him but also he's asking a twenty something year old to do something that he apparently can't. Hell yeah he should have put money on the table. I appreciated him setting Ray straight. I can definitely see why his way of dealing with Ray doesn't work, though. Still, it's nice that he's not the stereotypical only cares about his reputation guy he appeared to be at first, especially when seen through Ray's eyes (although I already suspected he wasn't, since Sand was so adamant that Ray's dad gave a shit. I loved the "I don't want him to end up like his mother" line, too - it made me think that maybe her death haunts him just as much as it does Ray).

Top. Still rooting for him, like I am every week. Would love to know why he's so damn passive with all of his exes. Think he's aware of exactly what Mew is up to and has decided to weather it out. That's about all I got for him this week, though.

Nick. For some reason he just didn't work for me this week, which is weird because I think his scene on the roof with Boston is one of the best of the episode. I think I wanted him to make Boston work for it more but well, that's not my pathetic dude at all. It'll never be in him to make Boston work for it, lol. Oh, Nick.

Cheum. Okay, before I say anything else I want to say that I get where she was coming from, going at Boston. I also get her not being able to calm down enough to register that not only is Atom not nude in any of those pics, he also looks the complete opposite of coerced. She's already mad (whether fairly or not) at Boston for what happened with Top, and now she's got her baby bro telling her that Boston not only sexually assaulted him, but that he's trying to continue doing so via blackmail. It's no surprise that she's so mad she can't think.

That all said, I'm still not pleased with some of the things coming out of her mouth. I can understand where she is coming from and still not like the way she's expressing herself, and boy howdy is that the case here. I've said it before, but I am SO done with the slutshaming. And I was really not down with that "Atom likes women. What did you do to him?" line. Fuck all the way off with that shit, too. I am actually really worried about what she's going to do about this, because I actually don't think she's gonna calm down and have a think before she does something really fucking stupid.

Atom. Oh, this little fuck. I knew he was gonna pull some shit, I could feel it in my bones, but I didn't expect him to go quite that low. More fool me. I don't care how upset he is, going around accusing Boston of SA because he wouldn't fuck him again is vile. Just gross. And he knew what he was doing. This shit was planned and purposeful. Vile. Just vile.

Relationships (Most to Least Fave atm)

There weren't really any friendship moments this go around (well, I guess you could say the core group had a moment, but uh), so I'll just be doing the couples this time.

TopMew. What can I say. It's still the one. I've already explained how I see things above, and I still think that these two are definitely end game. I do think that by next ep they'll be actually working things out though, as opposed to Mew paying lip service to it while he tests the fuck out of Top to see what he does. I appreciate that this ship isn't for everyone but it is for me, apparently. Come on, guys, I believe in you.

Threesomes - the order in which I crave these is TOPSANDBOEING followed by TopMewBoeing, but honestly SandRayBoeing will do in a pinch, even though I'm still in camp "Ray says he wants the threesome but what he really wants is to scare the third party off." Boeing is the last person to be scared off by that though, I feel, so. We'll see what happens. That said, Sand really doesn't appear to be Team Threesome nowadays and hopefully his opinion matters, hence my desire for a TopSandBoeing flashback.

SandRay. Yeah, I know. I'm surprised too. Still think they're made to break, but I liked their stuff this time. Everything about it was really good from an angst lover's perspective. Preview wants me to think that Sand and Boeing have a chance (and honestly I would not say nay) but let's be real here, Sand ain't going there. He might have conflicted feelings about Boeing but he's far too focused on Ray now to be with anyone else. If anything, we'll see Ray fuck Boeing first. And Boeing does seem to like going after the love interest...

BostonNick. I don't know why it wasn't firing for me this ep, but it wasn't firing for me this ep. Still think they deserve each other. Still rooting for them. But for this episode only, they did less for me than Ray and Sand.

SandBoeing. The way I need these two to kiss on the mouth. Look, my GramYok heart wants what it wants. I thought they were gonna kiss in Not Me and I was denied. Actually, they denied me a lot in Not Me. Asshole show (not really). But now that Mond's here and actually kissing guys instead of faking me out this needs to happen (and I think it will. Via flashback, most likely).

BoeingMew. What? I could get behind this. That one brief moment where Mew kissed him back really worked for me, although I don't think Mew could go through with it.

In Conclusion

I really liked this episode. The apartment fight and Ray's end scene were particular standouts, but so were both BostonNick scenes. I will appreciate it if Boeing has more to do than just cause stupid mess, but I'm guessing that he's mostly here to cause mess and either kiss or try to kiss every one of these dudes. There are worse things to exist for. Plus he's pretty.

I'm kind of glad that we only have two weeks left. I suspect that this is a show that might do better on binging overall, so if the ending is good (and by good I mean something that I personally find satisfying - I'm not claiming any objectivity here) I will probably do that. A week between episodes leaves us all with too much damn time on our hands to come up with dumb shit (ask me about how I have convinced myself Ray and Boeing are gonna do the do).

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. See you next week.

[somesemblanceofnormal]

lol said i’d cook at work and post some character intros and then. did not. at all. barely even looked at my phone pffff

ANYWAY

The Twins aka My Baby Angels

identical twins— josiah (m, he/him) and johana(f, she/her) crownover— born to a mother and father who were part of what is considered a Legacy Hunter family. these people have been hunting the supernatural that dwells the surface of the earth, isolated in forests and woods across north america and some of europe, for hundreds of years. children are raised as soldiers, obeying their parents every will. those who dont agree with the way of life end up dead more often than not, as it’s essentially excommunication from the family. only one crownover in recent history has tried to leave— their uncle— and no one talks about him anymore. their mother tried to get them out when they were toddlers— once the “training” began shortly after they could walk— but she failed, and the twins ended up growing up without her.

josiah is a hot headed, incredibly smart, daddy’s boy. he does exactly as his father tells him every time. he likes to think the comments and looks from his father dont bother him, but then why would his knuckles be bruised when there hasnt been a mission in weeks? why would he feel compelled to spend time fucking off in the woods around his family home rather than be at home when his father is drinking? he has desires that would get him beaten and isolated even further if his father knew about them, things he doesnt think will ever be able to see the light. but he has resigned himself to this life, thinking its better this way because at least he has his family, and at least he’s making everyone proud with his work in the family business.

his twin sister johana feels very differently about it, though. she’s never really enjoyed the idea of harming another creature, human or not. she enjoys the physical activity part of it, and learning new techniques, new lore on the creatures her family hunts. the first time she had to deliver the finishing blow to a werecat, she had nightmares for months that kept her up all night. her father went extra hard on her, trying to “toughen her up”, as he put it. but all it did was further confirm her suspicion that there was something deeply wrong with her. she sees things she shouldnt, things that end up happening in front of her eyes, on top of that. her entire life has been spent feeling like an outsider, always looking in and never being fully present. she longs to know what lies outside her family and the walls they have built around themselves. she wants to experience life the way a normie would, even if she never truly could because of her extensive knowledge of the things that go bump in the night. shes never felt loved by her father and her brother, being the only person in the entire family who knows her in and out, cannot fix that by himself.

the two of them share that typical twin bond seen in majority of media starting twins— a sort of sixth sense as to what the other half is feeling/thinking/etc, working better together than individually alone. their father was never one to play with them, or be emotionally intelligent enough to talk to, and while their older sister, cecelia, was cool most of the time, she always sided with their father. this left the two of them to their own devices, only trusting one another in full. they are each others biggest supporters and confidants, knowing how to help in times of need without ever needing to ask. josiah is very protective over his sister, even though she towers over him slightly. she’s always been there for him, but he also knows how she struggles so much on a daily basis and wants to make things better for her. she knows how far the brainwashing goes in her twin brother and tries to undo it, little by little, no matter how many setbacks there are because of their father and environment.

anywaaaaaayyyyyyy—

I LOVE THESE GUYS!!!! i hope this was enough info to get u invested ;3c theres many more characters that i’ll get to doing intro posts akin to this for as well, but these two are the main focus of this story, and are two of the first characters you meet!!!!!!!! i could ramble forEVER about them, but i’ll save that for another time ;P

if you are interested in more, give us a follow!

[moonlightonice]

and if i may add to your wonderful observations with something else

besides all the interactions in the foreground with the tkachuk Father and SonsTM vs the wunderkind like you so apptly called him, and the warmth and ease of the one vs the distance and almost stiltedness of the other there were two other things that really stood out to me surrounding that

the comparisson and sharp contrast within that comparisson of both of them being raised in hockey, both of them openly talking about how it's their happy place but the very very sharp diference in how they both occupied that environment growing up. In one you have connor and leon and his family talking about the preasure and the horror of the media and the stress and being perceived and on the other hand you have matthew basically living in the rinks, being babysat by the trainers and the staff and following his dad around, also being perceived by thousands, both of them having left home at 15. i just found it so fascinating how connor and leon talk about that aspect of it as something they absolutely wish they could remove -keep the sport leave the entertainment idustry/ spectacle aspect of it, because the only relationship they have with it is being put under a microscope and having immense preasure put on you with a spotlight that burns you. while on the other hand you have matthew who to quote someone on it "hasn't met a camera he doesn't love" and which to be completely honest hasn't met a camera who hasn't loved him back who doesn't just accept the spectacle or simply thrive on it but actively persues or even often invites and instigates it in a "growing the sport" mentality that also grew up with media and in crowds but with a very very keen difference of having that spotlight shine and love on his dad and 100% approaching it as something he absolutely wants for himself preasures and expectations be damned

to tie that in with the growing up and also your very very keen food/family atmosphere observation what stuck out to me where the throwback kid videos. you got connor at rinks being very small playing with bigger kids only being shown in competitions or in intense training or talking to the media throwing the occasional smile but mostly showing dread or playing at home alone vs matthew tkachuk's goddamn baby home videos cuddled up on daddy's chest being fed and pet and held, being the big kid pushing his baby brother to play as hard as him, watching dad's games and playing with the staff who are trying desperately to wrangle him in the stands or held by his mama or having his dad and actual baby brother by his side while he's getting ready to go out there all smiling and excited

i mean if their intention was to depict the man the myth the legend and the isolation that surrounds that with his number two having his back and his parents being caring and proud but not necessarily knowing how to actively you know, support the kid vs the family legacy of the Father, the Sons and the Holy goddamn Stanley Cup who not only know how to show up for each other but the very active support can verge on overbearing they did a great job

i just felt a little bit like for how big a segment they focused on the relationship with the media and the being preceived by it and how tough and hard and hurtful it is to be labeled boring and a robot for connor, to the point of like joking about it in the locker room, if the goal was to like, make him more warm or approachable or open him up to the general public who doesn't know a lot about hockey, well. It kinda maybe missed the mark a little??? what with the personal chef and cmon everybody say thank you chef yes miss thank you cheeeeef of that meal vs the DON'T LIGHT MY HOUSE ON FIRE OLD MAN/ SHUT UP WHILE I FEED YOU YOU LITTLE BASTARDS of kieth tkachuk living with his son to the point of chirping and videos of bottlefeeding the guy

also the parallel coincidence that aboslutely murdered me was the injurieswith the abdominal injury being treated with accupuncture in a sterile environment litterally being hooked on electric wires connor being told to give himself a hug vs matthew teasing and being teased and being groped and manhandled everywhich way and brady saying i gave him a bear hug to lift him up and aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

you can't make this shit up, the narratives and the invincible lines and the parallels where giving it their all and feeding us sooooooo well

What I found very interesting after letting "faceoff" a little sink in are the choices they made regarding food & relationships.

On the one side we have Keith grilling outside for Matthew, super chill atmosphere, Keith and Matthew chirp each other, Brady and Matthew chirp each other - all around it conveys a warm atmosphere.

On the other side we have a professional chef prepairing something (we try to avoid dairy), seated dinner with his fiancee and friends, the ketchup phobia (honestly why throw him unser the bus like that?), it all feels a lot less warm and a lot more stilted. Also the interactions with Leon seemed a lot more uptight than the Tkachuks (though I think they're really each others ride and die and just can't bring it across that well).

Bet they did that very intentional too - family legacy vs wunderkind legacy who is more alone.

Just strange that they didn't even mention Matthew's fiancee ones or let a Panther speak, like Sam or Sasha or literally everyone.

[cleoenfaserum]

FILICIDE by HARRIET FRAAD

Felicide means the killing of a child or children by a parent or parents. It was once legal and/or acceptable to do so until fairly recent history.

Harriet Fraad, below, explains it to you with an amazing clarity and I highly recommend you listen to her. These are things you may not hear elsewhere because it is hidden from you. It is such an ugly truth that it may seem to you monstrous today, but nonetheless, a part of our historical human nature and the need of human fodder in the battlefield, as it is called today, coming out of the Ukrainian war rhetoric. Listen to what Harriet Fraad has to say on the subject, it will astound you ... I have also posted youtube's voice transcript for your reading or investigation.

LISTEN or READ or LISTEN-&-READ.

LISTEN or READ or LISTEN-&-READ.

0:00 Hello, this is Dr. Harriet Fraad  bringing you Capitalism Hits Home.   It's a show about the intersections  of personal with political life.  It's produced by Democracy at Work, a  non-profit, small, donor-funded media.   We're now celebrating 10 years of our existence,  10 years of critical analysis and a vision of a  more equitable and democratic world, from the  outside world to our most intimate family life.  Please help support our work, subscribe to  Democracy at Work on Youtube, help us reach our  new goal of 300,000 subscribers -we're very close  and your subscription will help us over the edge. Today I'm talking about the first  part of a two part series. The first   part of the series is on the family,  because the family as we know it now-  

1:07 Mommy, Daddy, children - was not always the  family, and it won't always be the way we  personally relate to each other in our intimate  lives, but it's been presented as if it was an  eternal verity, so I want to talk about  the family - where it came from. I want  to give a class analysis of the family,  the American family, and where it's going;  and I'm doing this in honor of an amazing thing  that's happened in the family: on September 25th  of 2022, this year, the Cubans passed the  most progressive, feminist, free of homophobia  Family Code in the entire world. It was drafted  and written in a national referendum which took  place - where 800,000; no, it was a million and  a half people, actually - participated in 80,000  different neighborhood networks, and a million  and a half people drafted it together: things  they wanted in there - they debated them and then  they sent them into the government - and they made  a Family Code with all of their participations. I'll talk about that in the next podcast,  but in this podcast I want to talk about  the history of the capitalist  family, the family we know today,   and I'll be talking about how this family  was constituted, why it was ,and - because  it's changed enormously - and because people  think of it as an eternal institution - and it isn't - there were other ways that people lived  together before and there'll be other ways later.

3:13 Before the 1700s children  were basically disposable,  if you had children one of the ways that  you used birth control was you killed the   kids you didn't want. Émile is the first child  development tract, which was written in the 1700s,  and it was considered the first tract important  about Child Development. Well, the writer of that  tract had five babies, he and his wife, and they  killed three of them and kept two, and that was  perfectly acceptable at the time. There are murals  and pictures, you know - drawn accounts, they didn't have cameras then - of women throwing their  kids into the canal, and that was quite acceptable at that time, until the late 1700s - people  treated excess children the way they might  treat excess children, I mean kittens, these  days. They were left at the market in case  somebody wanted to adopt a child; they were left  by the side of the road, exposed to the elements;   they were sold, so that they could be used as  slaves; or had their bones broken and were used   as beggars, or for whatever else, because  they weren't really very important.

4:50 Those who had enough money sent their kids away from  right after birth until about age four or five to be wet nursed by wet nurses in the country  who picked them up and put them in wagons,   and if some of them fell off it was no big deal;  if they didn't come back it was no big deal.   Also girls of about seven or eight were sent  into domestic service, if they didn't have money,   where they worked for wealthier  people in their houses;   and boys were sent out to Apprentice  by the time they were 10 at the latest,   and so they weren't kept in the kind of  home we imagined people growing up at home. There's a really great book, I have it behind me,  called The Kindness of Strangers, which is written   by Boswell, a brilliant Yale historian I think. It  was written in 1980, big fat book, which documents   this. One of the things he says that's interesting  is that the most common Italian name in the United   States is Esposito which means the exposed  one, because children who were exposed were   even less valued and were more likely to escape  to another country to have to make a living.   At any rate that's the history  of where the family came from.

In the 1700s it was discovered that children,  really - children were important to a society,   because they needed personnel to fight wars and  therefore it was better that they be kept alive,   and it began to be illegal to kill your kids to  kill your kids - not that they came down on it,  they didn't. It wasn't until  1962 that The Battered Child Act;  well - The Battered Child paper was published and  it wasn't until 1967 that if you brought your kid   to the hospital dead, and said they fell down the  stairs, you could get in trouble. So it's only in   recent history that children's lives were valued  at all. If you kill a child the prison sentence   is about six months on average ; whereas if you  kill an adult human being it's a whole lot longer.   So what about this family? Well the birth of that family happened after the  French Revolution. The birth of the basic contours  of the family that we've known as the traditional  family , which in marxian terms is the feudal  family, in that traditional family the wife had  the position of a feudal serf. She lived in a   domicile,some kind of rental, or home that was in  the husband's name (the rental or the ownership),   and she got a share of what she produced:  the food, the resources of child care,   the cleaning , the cooking, the taking care of her  husband - she got a share of what she produced, in   order - really in exchange , like a feudal serf,  for working on property owned by her husband.

8:31 This was put into motion after the French  Revolution, because after the French Revolution   things were very chaotic in France; after  the transitions in Britain they were similar,   and similar all over the world. What  happened was that the old order broke down,   that was the order of serfs  and lords, the feudal order   which was blessed by the Catholic Church all  around Europe; there the father of the family  was the father - the oldest living male who gave  birth to children - and his first lieutenant was   his firstborn son, and they decided the futures  of everyone else in the family- whether they   would marry,whether they would be single,  where they would work, if they could work. When feudalism broke down that family form broke  down, because the serfs left for towns that were  starting, they had to get off of the land because  the feudal Lords wanted to use huge tracts of land   for raising livestock and sheep, and therefore  they didn't need all these little family farms,and these little family feudal serfs offering up a  share of their produce to the lord in exchange for  working the lord's land, so they were thrown out,  and the whole feudal order broke down . People   went to little towns where some of them had  jobs guarding the others and the others got by   with whatever they could , stealing and so on...  Children were born outside of any kind of wedding,   or any kind of way of supporting them,  because there was no structure in place.

10:27 And so after the French Revolution  those who still had the means saw an emergency. They were what was left of  the French nobility that hadn't been killed;   what was left of the Catholic clergy, who owned  vast tracts of land and who by their Good Fortune   hadn't been killed in the revolution,  which was against the old feudal order.   And the elements of the aristocracy that were  still left, and some of the newly rich people from   the towns realized they had to do something. The  reason they realized, is one of the big demands  of the French Revolution was State support for  children. Victor Hugo has that in Les Miserables.  Children were on the barricades and demanded  State support through their childhood,  and the rich realized - uh oh. If there's State  support, who's going to be able to pay for it?  There'll be taxes on us, that can't happen. And so they came up with the nuclear family idea,  that the man would be the feudal lord of his own   little household ,the wife would be there because  she would have protection, through pregnancy,   and in exchange she would work  full time on the care of the home,   on production in the home of the foodstuffs they  ate, of cleanliness and child care - and she   would be protected that way, underneath the  feudal male; the children would be chattel,  and one could sell their children or rent  them out or whatever - they were chattel now.

12:26 That was documented in an incredible book  by Jacques Donzelot called The Policing   of the Family. It's not good reading, it's  written in the turgid difficult prose that   some French intellectuals and some American  ones as well write in; but he documents very   carefully and historically what these meetings  were and the agreements that were drawn up,   and the way they enforce that kind of  family is that no one was given a job  unless he had that kind of family - dependent wife  and children - and people were desperate for work because the society had broken down and there was  nothing available, and in that way they enforced  the new family form, with the man in charge  of his feudal household and the woman given   protection doing the domestic labor, childbirth  and child care - and the children as chattel. We have to remember that it wasn't until, I  think 1936, that you couldn't put your kids   out to work , and profit from their  labor, and that you couldn't, even   until the 1960s you could, you would have  permission - not explicit permission,  it was frowned on to kill one's children; but  you could get away with bringing your dead kid   to the emergency room and making up a story-  so it's in recent history that this is changing  and it's in recent history that the  Family itself is really changing,   and one of the conditions of that  feudal family was the Catholic Church,   which reinforced obedience on the part of  women , and considered women in charge of   Hearth and Home, which is still part of  their doctrine, and had no particular   position on the rights of children at all,  and supported the right of the father -  that right which was explicitly abolished  in the recent Cuban Family Code law.

14:44 At any rate this family in some form or another  lasted until recently, when that feudal family  began to break down. Now why did that break down?  Well in its amended form that feudal family was  the'traditional', in quotes American family: the  wage earning male, the dependent Wife and Kids -   the wife who does the housework,  the children who hopefully obey,  the husband who brings in the money - and  that was enabled by America's hegemonic  position in the world after World War II, in  the 50s when this family model was strongest   men got a family wage; but even before that  it was assumed that when you pay a man you're paying to support a man and his family -in  the 1950s after so many years and deaths of Labor struggle, men were paid well enough  to support a dependent wife and children.  

16:00 That changed when capitalists decided  that they could export jobs, because of   things like the fax machine, because of  computers, because of fast international travel   they were allowed to then open their factories in  places that hadn't won the labor gains of American   workers. They could hire Pakistani or Chinese  or Indian workers. The Chinese were paid best,  at three dollars an hour; but there were  no ecological demands or protections,   no days off, no family leave, no sick days. What  a bonanza for American capitalism! And so millions   of what were better white male jobs were exported  to China and India, and Pakistan and Bangladesh   etc. and white males were no longer able  to support dependent wives and children. That happened in the late 70s, and in order  to meet any kind of standard of living   women poured into the labor force, even women  with children, poured into the labor force.   Now 75 percent of women with children  between 5 and 12 are in the labor force,   and 40 percent of women with children  under five are in the labor force,   because in to make ends meet women had  to go to work. Well this precipitated a   huge change in the feudal household because  women who were working outside of the home   didn't want to come home and  do all the household work   themselves, and take care of their husbands  emotional and sexual needs as well;   and man, whose masculinity was challenged by their  lowered wages, didn't want to stoop to degraded   housework. Housework was always devalued because  it was done by women, who weren't paid anything;   professional housework was done by women of color,   who were terribly badly paid and often had to live  with the family as well, and therefore denied any   chance of properly rearing their own families -  and men didn't want to be degraded by that work.

18:53 So men and women began to be  really at odds with each other   because men's position in the world had changed.  Families broke up - even in 1965, there was a 25   percent divorce rate. Now the real separation  or divorce rate is more like 70 percent,   because 50% of marriages end in separation or  divorce and there's another between 15 and 25   percent who just split, because they don't have  kids to fight over. They make an agreement,  they don't have wealth to fight over so they  just split, and don't bring it to the courts,  which cost money - and therefore the American  family now has evolved. The majority of   American women are now single, and marriage is now  rejected, more by women than by men, particularly  Blue Collar men who used to earn a family wage and  now definitely don't, have trouble finding wives,   and blue-collar women don't want husbands who  can't support them and children in the household.  

20:12 You know there were jokes  about that that bring it home:   the joke about women was 'There's a handy  little thing called the wife. You crew   it on the bed. It does all the housework and  child care and takes care of you too right.' The woman's equivalent was :  'Men are like linoleum. You   lay them right once and you can walk  on them for your entire life, right.' Well those weren't always happy roles,  but they were captured by those jokes, and now the majority of women are single. 42  percent of American children are born outside   of any kind of a marriage and are raised,  often well over 90 percent, by single women -   and they've given birth to different kinds  of households, different kinds of families,   one is what I would call the independent  household where a woman lives alone.  She does her own housework and child care, takes  care of her emotional needs, and hopefully the  child's needs as well, and the man who is  the father is not part of that household.  That's a lot of people, that's about  42 percent of American families.  

21:42 There's also another evolution which is starting,  which is a communal family, where the ideal is   that both people work outside the home and inside  of it, and help with the children as equals.   That's usually - that doesn't happen very  often, although it's a goal that people   state, and more men than women think  they've achieved; however it's a goal. Another form of household is what was practiced  in Nazi Germany and Italy and the other fascist   countries, and I call that the fascist feudal  household : where the woman has to work outside   the home and also do all the household work  inside the house and all the child care.   They did that in Nazi Germany, but they  didn't produce as many children as they hoped  because women were so exhausted , from working all  day in the Munitions factories, and then having to   do the domestic labor, that they couldn't bear  children - they were just too wiped out to get   pregnant; and that would be the family ideal  of a lot of the evangelicals and organizations   like Focus on the Family that touts the wonderful  nuclear family of the dependent wife and children;   that's also the family form of  the Southern Baptist convention,  the biggest Protestant denomination, and in their   declarations on gender they declare that  women must be subordinate to men. Men should   be protectors, women should be subordinate  and follow the orders of their husbands.

23:38 So that's more like a description of a fascist  feudal family since most women,as well as men   in and out of families, have to work outside the  home well. These are changes that are happening.   They're happening because the economy  has changed, also because the U.S is not  bringing in as much of the wealth of the world  as it used to which allowed its Blue Collar   members of its Workforce to be paid well - after  World War II America was the king of the world.   All the other advanced economies were destroyed  ; we were the only one of the participants that   didn't have bombs on our home territory and our  production apparatus was sound. Now manufacturing   is largely done in China and India and China  is now the burgeoning new power of the world,  doesn't have to listen to the United States so  that recently when the United States levied the   sanctions on Russia, and got Western Europe  not to buy their oil and gas from Russia,  Russia just sent it to China and India.

25:07 The new economic Alliance is BRIC: Brazil,  India, China and Russia and so the Russian  oil economy is doing even better than it used  to while Americans and Western Europeans,  who used to be Kings of the world, are suffering  without that oil and when the United States  told Saudi Arabia, the leader of OPEC nations  (the nations that produce oil, the 23 nations),   when we told them that they'd have to make  more oil and lower the price they told the   U.S to go pound sand, forget it we're not doing  that. We don't have that clout that we used to.   We had one war that where we invaded in Korea,  which was a draw, and then three lost Wars:   Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan - and so we don't  have that position in the world and aren't able   to garner the profits all over the world  and bring them home, therefore that and the   decision to take factories overseas where labor  is cheaper and where regulations are weaker has   made American billionaires and allowed them to buy  our for pay system here, our system of democracy,   and has left blue collar men really out of  luck - they're most likely to commit suicide  and they're most likely to die of opiates  - opioid abuse or opiates. But that family   form is crumbling - which is based on the wage  earning male and the dependent wife and children.

27:01 The suburbs are crumbling, they were built  for dependent wives and children and wage   earning men who commuted to the city.  That isn't the form of family anymore;   that's not the majority form - the majority  are actually divorced and 75 percent of kids   grow up with people who weren't their  original - at least one parent - who   weren't their original biological parents, and  so that... that whole scene is over. And there   are these new family forms jockeying  for recognition and power therefore   some of these battles are fought out in areas  that seem like they don't relate to this, but   are highly related - for example abortion rights:  in order to have a family one can regulate,   which is crucial if you have an independent  family, or if you have a communal family you   have to be able to regulate how many dependents  you have and you need abortion rights, because no  amount - there is no birth  control that is absolutely   a hundred percent - and also people have  accidents, and don't want to be families,   and they can't count on male support if they're  women - and single parents don't do well here.

28:36 Other countries have recognized this,  so for example in Sweden, Norway,   Finland, Iceland etc.,Scandinavia, single  women get less expensive apartments,  because they're subsidized; they get  higher wages , they get school allowances,   they get child care. We don't do any of that,  and so our single families are out of luck; but   one way of fighting for the conditions of an  independent family, is to fight for abortion rights; another is to fight for birth control ,  without having to see a doctor, which is often   expensive, or involves long waiting time. It's  only now - and it hasn't even passed yet - that   the FDA is considering putting out a birth control  pill that you can get without a prescription from   a doctor. We're way behind on that, so it's not  only abortion where this is being fought out;   it's also being fought out through birth  control. Another fight another location,   where this is being fought out, these different  class family forms, is the idea of child care   under, I guess it was...no it was Nixon, it was  Nixon, or Reagan I can't remember - there was  a a vote by Congress for Head Start  for everyone which was voted against   on the basis that it interfered with the family.  I should say parenthetically that every advance   is fought by the right wing and religious  groups as an affront to the family. Public   education was opposed because it interfered  with the rights of the family , and daycare   and after school care the same thing. That is  they are trying to fight for the family form  that has been outmoded by American  industry and American lowered wages. Another terrain on which this battle is  being fought is Universal Health Care,  

31:11 because people without good jobs - and  that always included people of color in   this country but the majority used to be white,  can't afford American market-driven Health Care.   There are all these fronts on which the battle  is being fought. Another is rights for lgbtq I A   people, transgender people - where the right wing  and the religious right is fighting against them.   Whereas Progressive people   who could recognize the difference in family  forms are fighting for that, or voting for that. And you wonder why: why is that an issue?  Well, it's an issue because the religious right   decides its policy against lgbtqia plus rights on  the basis that God created biologically different   men and women, and that heterosexuality  is mandated by God and anyone who isn't   a cisgender heterosexual is against God's Will  and shouldn't be allowed to function, all these   things are being fought out, and the background  of the fight is this fight for the family form  whether it will be an independent and a  communal family form or a fascist feudal form,   because now that women all have to work it will be  a fascist feudal family that they're voting for,  and that they're working for,  and the people working for that   are people like the Catholic Church which strongly  oppose the new Progressive Family Code of Cuba,   as well as the rights to abortion, that passed  in Chile, and in Colombia and in Mexico .  

33:25 And of course in the United States, supporting the  anti-abortion forces . And so these struggles of  family form are being fought out not explicitly  but are being fought out in the political Arena,   and what they are is a fight between a  traditional family form based on women,   whose biology - just like a serf's- birth consigns  that serf to working on the land of the Lord,   that the woman's biology as a female consigns her  to working as a dependent for a male, to cook,   to clean, to shop, to prepare a house and to  do child care and to provide sex for a male. That family form, which is very  much associated with the right wing,   is weakening in the United States, and  is being fought out here as I explained;   and is also being fought out in South America.  It's interesting that now South America,   and a country like Cuba as well as even Mexico  are ahead of the United States on abortion law,   as is Chile, and Colombia. Very interesting.  At any rate there is a class transformation.  

34:55 There is a revolution that has happened in the  United States and one of the reasons that I am  so interested in the Cuban family law , is that it  acknowledges the importance of that revolution in   the home, importance of personal relationships,  and in that law - the Declaration that I read,  because it has been translated, even though  the whole thing hasn't yet been translated,   is that we can now be truly revolutionary,  because we can revolutionize our personal life:   the way we treat each other and the way we  treat children. That is a true revolution. And so what we are seeing now, as the fights heat  up on birth control, on abortion, on lgbtqia plus   rights - really fights that are class fights:  from a feudal family or feudal fascist family,   to an ancient or communal family or an independent  or communal family - used to be called an ancient   family. That kind of independent family  of a person alone raising their children,  now it's called (by me) - an independent family.  But there is a revolution, a class revolution,  going on : from feudalism for women to a communal  family for women, or an independent family for   women - and that's something to watch, and to  watch and celebrate in the new Cuban Family Code. Thank you very much. Goodbye for now.

[erodasfishtacos]

how about when they first noticed ezra was a nervous and anxious baby ?

Seperation

prompt: the moment when h and yn decide that Ezra needs to see a therapist.

warnings: angst

if you like the fic - please reblog, like, comment, or come talk to me in my inbox!

I write for free so if you enjoy my fics please consider donating to support my writing on my kofi.

enjoy 😊

—

It’s late at night, like 3 in the morning, and Harry was down in Atlanta for three games with the Braves.

Easton and Cash had long adjusted to their father being away for short spurts of time - doesn’t mean they don’t miss him but they know he’ll come back to them.

Ezra was another story.

YN felt dread anytime he went away for a game because her youngest got so anxious and had trouble sleeping.

He was usually okay during the day (Harry was gone for practice and obligations during most mornings and afternoons).

It was at night time.

She really didn’t want to call and bother her husband because he had just played a game that went into three innings of overtime and had gotten a gnarly bruise on his thigh from a ball hitting him as he batted.

When they’d FaceTimed after the game, about eight, he had been so exhausted in his hotel room that his eyes were nearly closing as he spoke to her.

Now at three, three in the morning, Ezra still hasn’t went to bed because of how fussy and tearful he was - babbling about his father.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy,” He was whining into his mother’s neck, his hot tears rolling down his cheeks and onto her skin.

“Ezzie, baby. We have to calm down. Mama’s here and daddy is okay, he’s just working,” She murmured to him for the hundredth time that night.

YN was sat in the den with him because she didn’t want him waking up his brothers or his little sister who just begun to sleep through the night for the most part.

At one point, she did stir for a night feeding, and as YN sat on her bed - Briar latched sleepily, Ezra was nestled tightly into her other side.

When it hit three-thirty, she began to feel herself get frustrated because she couldn’t fix the situation - no matter what she did.

She knew once tears began rolling down her own cheeks that she had to call Harry.

It was never that she was worried he would be mad that she called, she just felt guilty because he had worked so hard already that day.

YN reaches for her phone, taking a deep inhale before pressing his contact for facetime.

It rings three times before it’s picked up, completely dark in his room, and he rasps out drowsily, “Wha’s going on, mama? Y’alright? The babies alright?”

“I-I can’t get him to settle,” YN takes a deep breath, the sleep deprivation making her want to just break down and sob.

“Daddy? Daddy, daddy, daddy,” Ezra just chants, eyes wide on the screen, searching for his father to just appear but all he sees is darkness.

That causes him to just start bawling his eyes out when he can’t will his father onto the phone like he wants.

“Whoa, Ezzie. Sweet boy, c’mon. Y’gotta breathe s’daddy can understand you,” Harry coos, stirring to turn on the light and illuminate his pillow-creased face.

“Daddy!” His voice is shrill, high-pitched and it makes YN’s ears ring.

“Ezra Duke,” Harry says a little more firmly, “Daddy can’t understand you when you scream, okay?”

The little boy sniffles and tries to catch his breath, leaning into where YN is rubbing soothing circles into his back.

“Miss you,” His son whimpers sadly, bringing his voice down a notch, “Come home, please.”

“I am flying’ home tomorrow, bab. Daddy will be home around noon but you have to be good for mama,” He says, voice still smooth and calm.

“Now!” Ezra screams in a way he usually never does and then continues, “Now! Now daddy! Now!”

Both parents are taking aback, Harry with wide eyes and parted lips as he watching his son through his phone and YN just squeezes her eyes shut, exhaling out of her mouth.

“Mama, breathe,” Harry directs towards her, can tell how overwhelmed she is getting from all the chaos of his screaming.

“Daddy, daddy,” Ezra blubbers, green eyes angry and anxious at the same time, “Please, home!”

YN hears noise from behind her, to see her eight year old padding into the room with his unruly curls poking every which way.

“Mama, is Ezzie okay?” Easton wonders, knuckling his eyes sleepily and then Cash follows right behind him in his dinosaur pajamas.

“Fuck, he woke up the boys,” YN informs Harry tearfully, “I just…I don’t know what to do. I can’t do anything to make him feel better.”

The older boys peek into the screen to smile at their dad and Harry gives them a tense smile, “Hi boys, I know Ez is being loud but can y’two be good f’your mama and go back to bed?”

They agree, giving their upset brother a kiss and then their mom before talking quietly to each other as they walk up the stairs.

“Daddy? Home, please! Hold me!” Ezra wails, clinging to his mother’s neck tightly enough to hurt as he tantrums.

“This is the worst it’s ever been, he’s normally stopped before I’ve had to call you,” YN groans, rocking him swiftly against her for lack of a better idea.

“Wait…” Harry sits up, scrubbing a hand over his puffy face, “Has this been happening’ every time m’away?”

“It just started two to three months ago but he’s always been able to be calmed down within an hour or so,” YN replies, shushing Ezra as he babbles over and over again daddy, daddy, daddy.

Harry’s jaw tightens and his frown settles into a deep crease, “Well why a’ve you not told me that m’baby has been cryin’ for me when I’m gone? Do y’not think that’s important?”

YN recognizes his irritation and is running on less than five hours of sleep over two days and may he’s it back with an even sharper tone.

“We can’t change that you’re gone. I’m trying to handle it, Harry.”

“Y’not doin’ a bloody good job at it!” Harry bites back in frustration, heart pounding in desperation as he hears his son cry for him.

“Daddy, daddy, come on.”

Then YN looks at him with watering, hurt eyes, “I’m doing my best. You’re not here, I can’t make you appear. I’m trying to calm him down without having to wake you up.”

And Harry shouldn’t but he’s angry and misses his babies - all of them but especially the one who needs him the most right now.

“Y’dont think I deserve to know tha’ Ezra’s been acting like this?” Harry snaps before adding, “In this situation, y’best isn’t good enough because he’s still crying and y’still haven’t been able to settle him.”

And wow, those words hit her like a ton of bricks. It was instilling all the insecurities that she had bubbling in her chest.

In this situation, y’best isn’t good enough because he’s still crying and y’still haven’t been able to settle him.

Harry automatically knows that he spoke before he thought and he let his stressed out mind say untrue hurtful things.

He part his lips about to speak before YN cuts him off.

“If you can do it so much better than me, fucking good you. Then come home and fix this because I give up,” YN laughs without humor, finger finding the red button to hang out and disconnecting.

Harry tried calling back over and over and over but YN just hangs her head, sniffling, as she watches her tired, anxious little son finally drift off to sleep.

At some point, her phone stops ringing when he’s given up and it doesn’t ring again until for another thirty minutes.

She knew he was going to keep calling until she picked up - had been that way since they first started dating.

By now, Ezra was asleep in his room and YN was sat against their headboard - having tossed the tear soaked shirt she had on off and was feeding Briar once more.

The millionth facetime request comes through and finally she swipes to answer, he’s furious right as they connect, “D’you have any idea how worried I am? Y’cant ju-“

He stops himself when he sees his baby girl pop her head from her mother’s breast with puffy lips and look at the screen, “Dadadadada.”

“Oh, hi lil’ mama,” Harry changes his tone completely, face softening - “Did I interrupt y’eatin’? S’mama being so nice and feeding you?”

Briar just smiles with a gapped baby tooth smile, a dimple pushing into her left cheek as she does so.

“Guess I’m good for one thing, right? A fucking milk-maker,” YN scoffs at her husband’s opposite tone as she guides Briar gently back down to finish her meal.

Harry frowns, “Y’know tha’s not anything near the truth and tha’ I think you’re the best mama to our babies. M’just upset.”

“You told me my best wasn’t good enough, I can’t believe you would say something like tha’ to me,” YN begins to sniffle again.

“Sweetheart, m’sorry. I ju-“

“What did you call for, Harry? It’s nearly four-thirty in the morning and I haven’t slept for nearly two days now. I want to feed her and go to sleep,” YN’s voice is disconnected and exhausted.

“To talk, I didn’t say how I was feeling correctly-“

“When you come home tomorrow you can fix everything and I’ll let you because I’m not doing a good enough job,” His wife cuts him off again.

Harry starts to feel a ball of worry form in his throat as he hears how unemotional and distance his wife sounds with him.

He had totally said the wrong things as his wife was just trying to do her best at balancing four babies while he was away.

“Please, let me apologize-“

“I would like to go to sleep. Please don’t call back,” YN responds before ending the phone call and leaving the screen dark.

They rarely ever fought. Especially like this.

He’s man enough to admit that he cries after he tries calling back (even though she said not to) and it went straight to voicemail.

-

He tries facetiming in the morning, at around nine right before if flight takes off - surprised when it actually was picked up.

Harry only sees YN for a brief moment before she’s propping up the camera on the kitchen table so that Easton and Cash are in view eating pancakes and Briar is in her high chair with blueberries staining her chubby cheeks.

Ezra must still be in bed.

“Hi bubbies,” Harry greets with a smile as they’re curls shake as they look up with excited smiles.

“Daddy! You comin’ home?” Cash squeaks excitedly through a mouthful of food.

“Hi dad!” Easton chimes in, waving.

Briar is only half-interested, more taken by the fact that if she squishes the berries between her fingers they turn mushy, babbles out a, “Daddadaa.”

“I’ll be home in like three hours, ‘kay” Harry informs them - his heart aches to be there right now with theme

“Ezzie cried all night,” Cash let’s his father know.

“Mama cried too,” Easton whispers, like it’s a secret that he doesn’t want her to hear, “I think she is really sad.”

Harry squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, “I know. Ezzie was sad last night. Can I talk to mama?”

Easton looks to his mother off camera as she must say something to him to repeat to Harry, “Mama said that she is busy and she’ll see you when you get home.”

He clenches his fist off camera, trying to smile but he knows it’s terse as he says, “Alright, I love you all. See y’when I get home.”

-

Meanwhile, YN gets all the children settled after breakfast.

Easton, Cash, and Ezra in the backyard - the two older ones digging holes for bugs and the younger playing in the sandbox.

Briar was snoozing in the cradle of YN’s elbow as she sat on a chaise - watching the kids.

She hits the number she was looking for, waiting for it to ring, and then she hears, “Hillside Pediatrics, this is Jess.”

The office knew the family well because Harry is Harry Styles and they have four children who visit there.

YN inquires about therapeutic options for him, resources, and if they had any recommendations for where to take him.

Like the super mom she is, she manages to set up an intake appointment that evening (which was a miracle on its own), call Anne and ask to watch the other children, and then take a deep breathe.

Harry steps through the back door, dressed in his usual Yankees hoodie, Nike shorts, and trainers looking tanner than before.

“Hi bubbies!” He greets, basking in when all of his children look up and squeal excitedly at the sight of their father.

Easton and Cash are the fastest, racing to cling to each legs and nuzzle into his thigh with a tight hug.

Ezra is slower, by the time he’s arrived to his father - there was no room for him to shuffle in and he automatically lets out an earth-shattering wail.

Just like before.

“Daddy! Hold me! Daddy, hold me please!” His youngest son begs desperately, stretching up his arms, and letting hot tears stream down his cheeks.

Harry tuts, reaching for him and popping him on his hip but Ezra has other ideas - scrambling until his nose is pressed into the curve of Harry’s neck with his arms wrapped tightly around him.

“Ezzie, c’mon now,” Harry titters softly, reaching down to give both of his other boys a kiss on the head before they dart back off to play.

“Daddy, miss you,” Ezra blubbers sadly, Harry wincing when his son yanks a bit in his longer curls by the nape of his neck.

“Y’okay, daddy’s got you. Relax, breathe bubba,” His father reassured him, swaying softly back and forth until he’s just sniffing.

“We have an appointment with a children’s play therapist for him later at five,” YN tells him, shushing Briar who’s squeaking from the noise.

Harry takes a deep inhale, “Okay, that sounds like a good idea. Can we talk now since y’been ignoring my calls?”

YN bristles at the attitude in his tone, “Excuse me if I’d rather not be critiqued on my skills as a mother when I am sleep-deprived and stressed out.”

He clenches his jaw, speaking lowly with firmness, “Y’bein’ absurd! I didn’t critique to you, y’blowing things out of proportion! Y’the one who didn’t tell me this was going on!”

“It didn’t get that bad until last night! I could handle it - he would just be upset for a little before bed but he’d never got that anxious before,” She justifies, returning the glare he’s giving her.

“Didn’t think y’could mentioned it to me? I have a right to know, he’s m’baby too. I could have fix this yet you were letting him suffer,” Harry bites out but know as soon as it’s out of his mouth that he wishes he could swallow the words back down.

You were letting him suffer.

YN doesn’t even argue back, just starts bawling because of how hurtful those words were and how could he even say that?

“Mama, fuck- I didn’t, I’m just-“

His wife gets up without a word, using Briar’s blanket to wipe at her wet cheeks, and vanishing through the sliding back doors.

Ezra was snoozing peacefully on him and he couldn’t leave the boys outside alone so he resorts to sitting down on one of the outdoor couches and curse internally.

He couldn’t believe he was being so cruel. He just felt so….betrayed that she hadn’t told him what had been going on and he felt like he was letting down Ezra.

It was a nasty feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach because he was away so much from his family and it was stressful for everyone.

He wanted to cry at the idea of his son crying for him every night.

-

Harry starts to get anxious when YN isolates herself in their bedroom with Briar for the next upcoming hours.

He knocks softly, opening the door to YN turned on her side away from him, under the covers, with Briar asleep in her bassinet asleep.

“Mama? Y’awake?” Harry murmurs cautiously with a sandwich and chips since she’d disappeared and hadn’t been down once, water in the other hand.

“Are the boys okay?” YN asks quietly, not bothering to turn over to face him.

“Yes, babies are fine. They’re watchin’ Toy Story right now, eatin’ lunch,” Harry replies, eyes falling in his beautiful little daughter.

“If the boys are fine then I don’t want you in here,” YN tells him with an angry tone but low enough that it won’t disturb Briar.

Harry nearly whimpers.

“Baby, please. We need to talk-“

“If the boys are fine, I want you to leave me alone.”

Harry hesitates by the door, feeling helpless as he slips the plate onto the dresser in case she is hungry but he doubts she’ll touch it.

“Alright, I’ll leave y’be. Call me if y’need anythin’ or help with Briar,” He offers, trying to buy time in the room.

She laughs sarcastically, “Yeah, I’ll make sure you’re notified because I can’t do a good enough job myself.”

Harry sighs, running a hand through his hair, trying to conjure up the perfect words to fix this situation but it’s interrupted.

“Daddy? Daddy? Where? Hold me!” Ezra screeches as Easton stands outside the door with him, holding his hand.

“Dad, he won’t stop,” The oldest complains with annoyance as Ezra scurries to his father and up into his arms.

“Daddy daddy,” He chants into his father’s skin with relief.

“Thank y’East, Ezzie’s been sad lately. Huh?” Harry replies, thumbing at Easton’s cheek.

The oldest shrugs, “Not always. Mama cheers him up all the time with kisses and hugs.”

Harry gazes back to the lump under the blankets and feels himself getting choked up. He really really regretted his words.

He didn’t regret being upset with her. He regrets the cheap shots he took at his wife who’s just trying to be a full time mom to his babies.

“Mama?” Ezra squeaks at the word, realizing he hasn’t seen her recently and then he’s back to tantruming, “Mama, mama, mama. Where’s mama?”

“M’right here, Ez,” YN murmurs, flipping to her other side so that her youngest could see her. His face lights up and he scurries to the bed, scampering up until his mom is tucking him under the blankets with her.

Harry’s heart aches when Ezra whimpers quietly and burrows into her warm chest with happiness that he found his mother.

“Y’got him?” Harry asks, hand raking through Easton’s curls as he leans into his father’s side.

“Can we go play now, dad?” Easton asks impatiently, tugging his father out of the room and down the staircase.

-

Anne shows up and the two older ones are so excited, bouncing up and down as they tug her into the backyard to show her the holes they dug with Briar popped on her hip - gnawing on her shirt collar.

YN brings Ezra down the stairs, curls tamed with a bit styling mousse and a little adias x disney outfit that was the cutest thing ever. ***

Harry reaches out to take Ezra off YN but he whines and shakes his head, clinging to his mother like it was life or death.

“No daddy! Mama!” Ezra pouts angrily, glaring at his father with protectiveness.

He puts his hands up, “Okay, okay. Y’can stay with y’mama.”

-

The car ride is silent, Harry doesn’t know what to say and YN isn’t giving him anything to work with. He feels like he’ll just say the wrong thing again.

When they pull up to the building and Harry puts it in park, he’s startled when his wife just starts bawling into her hands.

Harry freezes for a second with wide eyes before rumbling, “Mama, sweetheart. Please don’t cry, it breaks m’heart, darlin’.”

“I’m…I’m no-not a good mom,” YN cries, “I wanted to tell you but I was scared. I don’t want you to think I can’t handle raising our babies.”

Harry pries her hands away from her face, cupping her cheeks and firmly staring, full conviction in his voice, “If I didn’t think y’could handle four babies then I wouldn’t have put them in you. I wouldn’t talk about putting more in you.”

YN’s eyes are watering, letting Harry swipe the tears away with his thumbs as she inhales deeply, “I am so so sorry I didn’t tell you. I don’t want you to worry when you’re away.”

Harry leans forward, kissing her harshly before whispering against her lips, “I don’t give a fuck about baseball in comparison to you and the kids. I’d give it up this second if y’asked. I want to worry because you’re the love of m’life and I’m y’husband - I’m here to support you and support our family.”

He continues, “I am a bit frustrated with you. I want you to tell me everything I miss when I’m gone even if it stresses me out or upsets me. Okay? But I shouldn’t have said hurtful things. You’re the best mama on this planet and y’treat our babies the best.”

YN nods, willing herself to stop crying as their appointment starts in ten minutes as she takes steady breathes.

“I forgive you. I’m sorry I let my pride get in the way. I just…I feel like you do everything for us and the least I could do is manage the kids,” She sighs with self-deprecation.

“Mama, just because one of our bubs needs therapy doesn’t mean you’re not doing a perfect job. We’ve always know Ezzie was an anxious baby. This is going to be good for him and for us, right?” He encourages, nosing at her cheek before she offers up her lips once more for a short kiss.

“I love you,” YN tells him, running a thumb of a light dusting of stubble on his jawline.

“Love y’more than anything,” He replies instantly.

-

Ezra is nervous as they step into the calming, peaceful office where there are neatly organized buckets of toys and shelves of books.

Patricia was a middle-aged woman with a kind smile who welcomed them in, she observed how Ezra had himself wrapped around his dad with hesitant green eyes peeking at her.

As they sit down, Patricia says softly, “This must be Ezra?”

They all wait for a moment before the toddler turns around to look at the woman and says timidly, “m’Ezzie.”

“Hi Ezzie,” The therapist greets and he gives her a cautious smile before nuzzling back into his father’s neck.

The discuss what has been going on. How Ezra has always been very nervous, anxious, cautious in a way that none of his other siblings are.

How he struggles when one of his parents is away from him, how he can get upset if he can’t find one of his siblings, or how much he worries about things most kids his age don’t worry about.

Patricia does an excellent job in calming down the parents, assuring them that it was nothing out of the norm, and that therapy would be beneficial for him.

She states that they’ll work a lot of feelings - being able to describe and recognize them. That will be one of the most important things.

Also working on his ability to calm down and cope with stressful situations, recommending once a week which of course his parents agreed to.

By the end of the intake, Ezra had ventured to take one of the baby dolls from a bin and bring it back to his father.

“Look daddy, s’a baby,” He lisps proudly, holding it up to show him.

“Good job, bubs,” Harry laughs, leaning to kiss his forehead - watching him toddle off to find more dolls to play with.

-

That night, after all the kids go to bed, and YN is finishing her final feeding with Briar in her nursery before putting in her crib.

Harry runs a nice, steaming bath with lavender bubbles and a candle burning with the lights dimmed low.

When she finds him, he slowly undresses her with warm kisses and praises of how good of a wife and mother she is.

They lay in there together, YN between his legs with her head rested on his chest, as his hands massage at her tummy and hips lovingly.

And yeah, everything is okay after that.

They get up the next day and everything is back to normal except now Ezra goes to therapy once a week with his parents.

(Ezra ends up working with Patricia until he’s in about sixth grade.)