#they were rhythmic it was kind of a vocal stim

[ribombeee]

re: special interests re: that freak from dungeon meshi, when i was a child i was so obsessed with the underland chronicles series by suzanne collins that i desperately wanted my 9th birthday party to be themed after it. with like giant cockroach and rat decorations

[asexual-abomination]

Hi 🥺 I saw requests were open? Could you maybe do platonic Phantom Troupe with the reader having echolalia? If the troupe is too much, maybe just Chrollo and Feitan? Thank you in advance 🥺

Thank you so much for this request! I had a lot of fun writing it!

I know that echolalia and a lot of other symptoms show up differently in different people, so I had to base this on my own experience, and I have a tendency to echo literally anything, words, sounds, rhythms, anything.

I decided to have this take place in a scenario where reader copies each member individually!

Chrollo

Probably the one who has read up on any and all of your symptoms, since he considers it his responsibility to be educated on your needs

When, after you happened to be sat in a meeting with the Troupe, you began muttering to yourself, he wanted to see if you were alright

As he walked up to after, hoping to speak with you, he was surprised to see you repeating a seemingly innocuous phrase from somewhere in the middle of the meeting

Chrollo would recognize this as a stim, but he wouldn’t understand immediately why you would be stimming something he randomly said

He would be a bit thrown off when your explanation is very simple, telling him that it just sounded right, felt right in your brain

He wouldn’t tell a soul, but a little part of him was proud that you found his voice that nice to listen to that you’d imitate it for fun

He definitely doesn’t mind, and even encourages any stimming in general, since he can see that it makes you happy

Machi

While most of her medical training is in more physical things, after it was mentioned that you were autistic, she decided to go and top up her knowledge of neurodivergency.

At one point during a mission, she murmured to herself to remember a safe’s code, not realizing that she was within earshot of you

Several hours after the mission was over and everyone was celebrating the spoils of victory, she overheard you repeating the code to yourself over and over again

She expressed her confusion to you, reminding you that the mission was over and there was no need for the code anymore

When your response was to tell her that the code simply sounded nice, she would probably get confused for a moment

Machi doesn’t quite understand how some random string of numbers can ‘sound nice’ but she also knows that your brain functions differently from hers

I don’t see her making too big a deal out of it, but she’d actually make a sly comment about how much you listen to her

Other than that, she happy to let you stim as you please!

Phinks

Probably not educated at all about the intricacies of your stimming or any symptoms in general, but he'll never get upset with you, since he understands on some level that it's just how you are

I'd imagine that the way you'd echo from him miiight come from overhearing him death threatening a scared hostage

Definitely spooks him when he hears you mumbling the harshest and longest string of curses he's ever heard

Mostly because you're spitting the words with the exact same tone as he did, and he thinks that you're trying to threaten him

(He doesn't wanna mess with you 😆)

When he finally figures out that you're copying him, he jumps to the next conclusion that you're mocking him

"What? Am I not intimidating to you? I sure scared that scum back there!"

"What are you talking about?"

His face when you explain yourself to him is nothing short of flustered, and he begins profusely apologizing

He gets super caught up whenever he's accidentally ableist, since he wants you to feel safe around him

Once you've cleared up the situation, he actually takes joy in seeing you copy him, and if he gets the chance he'll want to teach you how to be more intimidating

Uvogin

Another case of not really knowing what stims are, but being respectful of them anyway

I mean, man is literally eight feet tall, he doesn't care about whatever weird things anyone else might do

He roars at the back of his throat once, and that's it

When he's walking past you after a mission, Uvo's almost shocked to hear you making a vague growling noise constantly

Since he likes to lean into his animal side a bit more than others, he'll jokingly ask if you're trying to intimidate him, much like Phinks

When you explain to him to you thought that his roar was fun enough to copy, he also takes an odd sense of pride in it

He's not normally a man for any kind of subtlety, but if you actually found his roars pleasing to listen to, he'll see if he can roar at a volume that won't immediately burst your eardrums without protection or distance

If you do a lot of vocal stimming in general, especially imitation of his roars, I can see him taking you out to some mountain or cave or whatever to practice your roar for some fun bonding

Nobunaga

Okay so we know that he spends plenty of time around Machi, so she's probably explained some of the main symptoms of your autism at some point when he asked

But when he sits next to you and hears you trying to imitate the sounds that his sword makes when he charges it with his Nen, he looks at you incredulously for a moment

You may not have even noticed that you were echoing at first, so you'll probably be confused when you see him looking at you

"Oh, sorry, your sword just sounds nice!"

*Cue even further confusion from him*

Completely doesn't get how a sword sounds nice, but kind of has this "You do you, kid" attitude about it

May or may not invite you to listen to his practice and then wait until afterwards to listen for your echoes because he finds it cute

Shizuku

Okay I'm gonna be honest, when Blinky first appeared in show and made that noise, I was taken and kept trying to make the same noise for hours whenever it appeared

"Shizuku, why did you summon Blinky? Is something wrong?"

"What are you talking about? I didn't summon them?"

"Oh that was me, sorry."

Definitely has a giggle about it when she finds that you enjoy echoing her Nen ability

Will summon Blinky whenever you want to 'have a chat' with them

Very openly thinks you're absolutely adorable with it, and it's one of the first things she'll do every time she gets to see you

Shalnark

Honestly, he says everything with such a happy, upbeat tone, anything he says can be copied for fun

His laugh is the best, so you're probably echoing that

He's probably not too shocked when he hears an attempt his own laugh coming from down the hallway, thinking someone's trying to play a prank on him

But he'll be a little confused when he finds you

When you reveal the truth of what you were doing, oh god, be prepared

"Aww, you like my voice that much??"

"You do a pretty good impression of me, must spend a lot of time listening, huh?"

He WILL NOT stop until he gets to see you blush, though if he does overstep and upset you, he'll tone it back down immediately

Might not change anything especially big with his usual way of talking, but will take a moment to appreciate his own voice whenever he catches you imitating him

Bonolenov

THE MUSIC!!

Okay I know that they're mainly used for battle and injuring people's ears, but he definitely has more calm songs that he plays for his friends

When you first hear it, the tunes are so enchanting that you will be humming or whistling it for weeks afterwards

He's sitting and relaxing when he hears you attempting to hum the tune of a sweet lullaby he had once played for the Troupe

It's probably not a perfect replication, since it takes a while to learn the songs he makes, but it makes his heart melt to think that you want to try your hand at his beloved music

When he overhears you, he jumps in to begin gushing about the song you found so lovely

Asking if you'd like to hear it again -  he'd certainly love to play it for you again!

He might seem really overexcited, but he's genuinely happy that he can bring you joy with his ability

Franklin

Took me a moment to think of something for him, but after a while of thinking:

He speaks slowly and calmly quite often, so I can imagine that he can sometimes say things in very rhythmic fashion, which will catch on very quick

You're walking away from a quick chat with him, when he hears you whispering under your breath

Normally wouldn't even make a note of it, but he wants to make sure you're okay

(Definitely isn't worried about you and wanting to keep you safe)

His reaction when you tell him that you liked the way that he said something is a mix between "Oh, that's nice" and "What are you on about"

Has probably the least amount of education on stimming, but also one of the most open to learning, since he wants to do what he can to keep those he cares about safe and happy

Will be a bit put off by the way you seem to copy him at first, but definitely doesn't mind after a while

Silently thanks you for making him take a moment to appreciate his own voice

Pakunoda

Sweetheart hums a meteor city anthem one day, and isn't really shocked when she comes upon you humming it yourself

Since she's looked into your mind with her ability, she knows the way that you like to echo certain sounds, and doesn't mind at all

If she's listening from around a corner or such, she will smile joyfully and quietly wait out of your sight

Unless you catch her in the act, she's actually quite happy to not let you know of presence while she enjoys the thought of you enjoying her culture

But, if you do catch her, she'll probably start gushing to you about the origin of whichever song you wanted to imitate

She wants you to feel happy, however you wish to pursue that, and will absolutely hype you up in any sort of stimming you need to do

Whether you want her to ignore your echoing, or to join in whenever she hears, she's happy to do whatever you ask to keep you happy

Feitan

If he catches you copying something he said in broken language, at first he will assume that you were making fun of him

Not because he thinks that you're mean spirited, just because he's used to people mocking

With most members of the Troupe, he would show no mercy at this point, but since he actually likes you, you get one chance to explain yourself

Once you tell him about why you're copying him, he'll be seriously confused for a moment

Yeah he's never heard the word echolalia before

So you'll have to explain it to him

Probably doesn't immediately get it, but he lets you off the hook for it, since he does understand that you're very different from him and the others

Doesn't really think too much of it once you've cleared up that you aren't mocking him, although he finds it interesting to listen to you talking about how stimming works, even when he doesn't understand half of it

Kortopi

Actually another case that assumes that you're mocking him

He's used to being acknowledged as a weak link in the Troupe, and would get quite internally upset if he thought you were also in on the joke

I can't explain why I think this, but I actually see him as one of the most educated members of the group when it comes to any sort of neurodiversity, since I think he's neurodivergent himself, but he probably doesn't catch on immediately that this stems from your own autism

Wouldn't confront you straight away, but when he does, he tries to be as professional as possible about it

Cue a string of quiet apologies when you explain yourself

Quickly tries to explain himself to you, and you probably bond over how annoying it can be to have stimming misunderstood

Tries his best to let you know from then on that any symptoms you need to express are accepted around him, since he knows that you accept him as well

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Thanks for reading!

[chaoticpanenergy]

after briefly scrolling through the oc tag that you used on one of my posts and seeing that two of the four posts there are about being affectionate with men and a forth is about suffering and dying for the plot .I am intrigued KRHSHDB

!!! oh oh brian my beloved!!!!!! yessss okay so he is one of the two main characters of my current wip novel (the other one is his qpp xeno, they/them). here is a lil snippet thingy i made abt them (plus FANFIC FROM ONE OF MY MUTUALS OMG) and here is a post i made abt the story recently and here is my tag for the wip as a whole.

but!!!!! if u don't wanna click around those, and also just bc i think i am interpreting this ask correctly as an invitation to infordump:

brian is aroace and autistic and adhd (xeno is a non-SAM aro and also autistic, they are also SO beloved). brian is also a wizard who does magic <3 and he has a suuuper fucked up magic wizard family (who currently have semi-disowned him for being aro </3). he has 8 siblings, 3 older and 5 younger, and he loves them all so much (the oldest two ah. do Not deserve it though. they are both very manipulative and emotionally abusive). brian is 23; his siblings range from 28 to 9 years old. his arc in the book will be basically. a race between his slowly developing awareness that his family is abusive and he needs to cut them off, and his deeply instilled self-sacrificial instincts leading him to put himself in dangerous situations to protect his younger siblings and xeno. so just. whether he will properly work up the courage to choose himself and leave before he gets himself killed or not. we shall see :)))))

hOWEVER angsty plot aside he and xeno are SO beloved and they love each other sm in a way that is wholly divorced from allo nonsense <333 they were roommates in their junior year of college and became qpps in their senior year, and the book takes place about a year and a half after that. brian is biiiiig and tall and chonky and soft (xeno is fairly average height, but that's still short enough for brian to rest his chin on top of their head <3), and he usually has some stubble because both facial hair and shaving are Sensory Bad things for him so it is just a constant battle between which is worse (xeno is always very cleanshaven bc facial hair gives them dysphoria). he usually wears a weighted vest + tshirt + jeans. he probably didn't know he was autistic growing up, which means he developed some stims that hurt himself without knowing what he was doing (specifically he tends to chew his hands and also dig his fingernails into his skin rlly hard) and then the habit got super ingrained, but now he is working on it and xeno is also looking out for it and helping him find other stims that are better <333 he has a chewy necklace now!!!! and some nice squishy rubbery stim toys he can dig his nails into instead <33333 he also has a cat named Critter!!!! they are very small. he also rlly likes vocal stimming (which can be a lil bit of a problem bc xeno is very sensitive to sound, but they've gotten pretty good at accomodating each other) and audio stims (he likes rlly loud rhythmic music for stims, musical theater soundtracks for when he's feeling depressed and nostalgic, and things like AJR and owl city for when he's just listening to music regularly) (xeno is a podcast person and rarely listens to music, and when they do it is normally music without lyrics). he rlly likes Textures and Sensations as a general rule. he loves to stim with xeno's hair (they have an undercut dyed purple), it's v cute, they'll snuggle next to each other on the couch while xeno is like reading a book or whatever. he also loves to give & receive top-of-head and forehead kisses, but most other kinds of kisses are a no-go for him bc he is both romance and sex repulsed and feels like most other kinds of kisses have been made too strongly associated with sex or romance by the general allo population for him to be comfy with them. xeno is extremely ambivalent towards most forms of physical affection, and towards romance/sex as concepts (they simply Do Not Care), so they are generally down for cuddles if brian wants cuddles, but they also would be perfectly fine without.

XENO MEANWHILE is also very very cool and good!!!! their samefood is applesauce, especially in squeezy packets, so there is a whole drawer in the kitchen just full of those (brian can't tolerate the texture, so xeno always knows Exactly how many there are in the house). they usually wear fingerless gloves bc it helps reduce the amount of unexpected sensation on their hands; they also tend towards very soft comfy clothes, mostly longsleeve shirts and sweatpants, bc most fabrics are bad textures. they don't emote in a very neurotypical way, so they have to mask a lot when they're at work, and brian is someone who they feel safe unmasking around bc they know he won't misinterpret their quiet and their lack of typical "happy"/pleasant facial expressions, and won't think they're super angry when they're not (which is a problem they often face when they can't mask in front of neurotypicals). they carry noise canceling headphones with them bc of how often they get overstimulated by too much noise. they rlly like to Sort and Organize things, which makes reshelving books at the library (their current job) one of their faaavorite things to do. they're also very good at spotting when brian is just. hiding the fact that he has 0 self-esteem, and are trying rlly hard to encourage him in asserting himself & his needs more often. they love to Learn things and will often infodump to brian about whatever it is they've learned recently. they have a note in their notes app for each person who is important to them, where they just write down every single little detail they know about that person and what they like/dislike, and so on. they make frequent use of these notes as a way to come up with good ideas for little ways to show affection (they are v into gift giving, quality time, and acts of service as love languages, but are very averse to words of affirmation. these tendencies have caused both good and bad things for them in the past). it took them a While to befriend Critter (brian's cat), but now the cat Loves them, which they count as a significant personal triumph. i think possibly they either have pet rats or have had them in the past, so if they do, then their room is off limits for Critter lol. they dye their own hair, which is always an Adventure especially because most smells are sensory Bads for them and bleach is Definitely one of them, so they often have to allot most of their spoons for the day just to bleaching out their hair, so they have to plan and schedule it carefully to have enough spoons. brian has offered to help do it with magic before, but xeno is not convinced that it would be better that way. they also have lots of stim toys, and they carry some in their backpack at all times (including some that are exclusively for brian).

OKAY that's. a lot of things abt them. i love them both sm. i definitely could go on but im stopping for now asjkdhfkjfghsdf tysm for the ask it was the best thing that happened to me today :D

[anxietysroomsupport]

Every time I think about this I just start feeling rly bad. So like sometimes I talk in a "baby voice" and I don't know why. I don't have trauma or anything but I just do it sometimes. I'm a teen. It takes more effort when I'm doing it to speak normally, and with full sentences and everything. Earlier I was grabbing a stuffed animal for my sister and just quietly chanted "bear bear bear" over n over again and I feel like an idiot, especially when my family complains. I can't find anything on it.

Hi Anon,

Don’t feel bad, you wonderful human.  You don’t need to feel bad, because I certainly don’t feel bad, and I literally do all those things, too, well into adulthood.  

I’ve never really dug into it before, so when I was researching for this ask, I read about ADHD, autism, echolalia, OCD, Tourette’s syndrome, regression...  All these things sort of, almost relate to what you’re describing, but didn’t feel quite right.  Not to say that you couldn’t have those things, just that what you’ve described so far doesn’t sound like those.

What it does sound like are very normal, common strategies that people develop either as mild coping methods or just a form of play (which is good for you!).

You brought up two behaviors; “baby voice” that replaces full sentences and repetitive vocalizations.  Let’s talk about the repeats first-

Chanting, or repeating sounds or words, can do several things for us.  One thing is that it serves as a form of self-talk.  It helps with focus.  Maybe you’ve experienced that thing where you enter a new room and forget why you went there?  It happens to people a lot.  Repeating “bear” as you do the task of bringing the bear from one place to another is a great way to stay focused on what you’re doing.  The character named Marshall does this in an episode of “How I Met Your Mother”, where we see him talk-singing about his task while he does the laundry.  (minute 1:08)  

(The whole episode is really useful here, because everyone is pointing out other peoples’ behaviors that annoy them, and ultimately they all get over themselves and repair their friendship.)

Repetition also ties closely into self-calm or self-soothing behaviors.  Think of examples like mantras and stims.  Everybody stims sometimes.  It feels good because it’s relaxing, even if you weren’t particularly stressed.  Repetition is predictable and rhythmic. 

And from there it’s easy to see how repetition can become a form of play.  Rhythm is one step away from music - a way to express yourself vocally and find joy.  So, maybe it is silly and you might feel like an idiot, but you know what?  You’re allowed!  We all need a place where we can just be goofy and free.

The Verge wrote an article about how repetitive words begin to sound like music and there was one particular line that struck a chord:

“Vitevitch suspects that what’s going on here is that our brains’ word-detectors get tired out”

Our brains’ word-detectors get tired... I think they’re talking about how our brains form patterns, using sound and tone to replace words and phrases that would otherwise just seem random.  They’re trying to create order.  And if our brains do that when they’re tired, maybe they also start cutting down sentences into “baby voice”.  Maybe it just feels better, or easier, to simplify things for a while.  

Does your “baby voice” also veer toward sing-songy voice sometimes, or like the voice people use for babies and cute animals?  Not only is that totally fine and normal, some people even practice singsong speech as a way to make their words more engaging to listeners.

So don’t feel bad.  You may just have what it takes to become a great speaker one day!  

What you’re doing isn’t hurting anyone, and it’s probably helping you.  It seems like the only reason you feel bad about it is because your family is being kind of negative and complaining about something that isn’t really a problem.  It’s just a quirk of yours and it’s lovely.

In all likelihood, they were probably also told that it was wrong to do those things growing up, so they forced themselves to quit and now they think they’re supposed to discourage you from doing it, too.  

You could try talking to them about it, ask how it makes them feel, and tell them how it makes you feel.  Or you could work on letting complaints slide off of you.  If they’re just talking, let ‘em.  Both are useful strategies to learn eventually.   

It takes a lot of energy to stop yourself from doing these natural things.  Trying to force yourself to stop could create stress and anxiety where it doesn’t need to be.  Of course living with people is a challenge, and it’s important to be respectful of other people’s peace and quiet, but you can definitely strike a balance with your family if they’re willing to let go of some of those arbitrary unspoken rules.  They should at least try.

-Miss Fay