#they were really the audience surrogate at that moment

[warlordfelwinter]

AGONIZING

[cucumberteapot]

Okay, so I've read the Spider-man: Across the Spider-verse artbook, and there is this fantastic passage on Earth-42 that gives context to the dimension, Miles G., Uncle Aaron and the Sinister Six.

“Miles comes face to face with a parallel world version of his own in Earth-42 – an alternate reality where he never gained superpowers and where his Uncle Aaron is still alive. “We wanted to craft this moment where Miles encounters this powerful figure in his life that he loved so much and he lost," says director Justin K. Thompson. “That's when he realizes that he is not really in his own dimension, as well as the gravity of what he has lost. In this reality, Aaron has had to shake off his life of crime and became a surrogate father figure to Miles.”

The artists changed Uncle Aaron's outward appearance to reflect this new reality and convey how he has changed. The Uncle Aaron of Earth-42 has a little gray in his beard. His clothing still has the old “cool streetwear” vibe, but he has a more sophisticated and older look. In this alternate reality, the Sinister Six have been able to flourish and take over the world. “We wanted to create a world where it felt like Aaron and Miles G. Morales [this reality counterpart to Miles Morales] are the only heroes.”

It's a much darker version of Miles' original home. So, we looked at comic book artists who epitomized that sort of noirish world - artists like Frank Miller, Sean Gordon Murphy, John Polygon, where there is heavy use of black and colors sort of recede behind the dark shadows. The powerless version of Miles is still capable and efficient and has great acrobatic and physical prowess. We also needed Miles to feel trapped in this dark world. We wanted to leave the audience with the burning question: ‘How is he going to get home?’ It was just exciting to see the development of this world to underscore all of these narrative choices we were making.”

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

EWAN MITCHELL INTERVIEWED BY DECIDER MAGAZINE.

SO KNOWING HOW HE'S SO STUDIOUS AND THOUGHTFUL, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE CHANCES ARE, IF HE STILL HAS THE DANGER, HE CAN FIGURE OUT THERE'S A HIDDEN MESSAGE THERE?

"Yeah, I think I could imagine that."

"I could imagine Aemond reading a book by the fire and he just puts it over the fireplace and then he’s privy to the information of Aegon’s dream."

"But I can’t confirm nor deny it."

ALICENT MENTIONS TO RHAENYRA IN THE FINALE THAT AEMOND PLANS TO FLY TO HARRENHAL. DAEMON HAS HAD QUITE THE SEASON THERE, BEING AFFECTED BY THE MAGIC THERE. DO YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HOW THAT MAGIC COULD AFFECT AEMOND?

"I think that’s a good question."

"I think if he was to go to Harrenhal, I think, I don’t know."

"It’s similar to what we were saying with Helaena."

"Like, if there was some sort of way that he would be able to harness that power and to use it to his advantage, he could be quite dangerous."

SO, ARE YOU EXCITED TO SORT OF DELVE INTO WHAT COULD POTENTIALLY MOTIVATE AEMONE TO OPEN UP TO SOMEONE? WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD MAKE HIM SO VULNERABLE?

"I think just finding all of that multifaceted nuance in Aemond, and really exploring that shadow side even more…"

"You know, just constantly keeping the audience on their toes and presenting an angle of Aemond that we hadn’t really seen before."

"He always kind of looked for surrogates for his mother."

"He found it in Vhagar, so to speak."

"An old she-dragon parallel."

"And he found it in the madame."

"But is that enough? So he’s always looking for his match, so to speak."

"Whether or not he finds it is another thing."

"Maybe there’s no one good enough for Aemond."

"Maybe he’s not good enough for anyone either."

HE'S SO RUTHLESS IN TERMS OF THE WAY HE WANTS TO APPROACH THE BATTLES AHEAD. IS HIS MINDSET FOR HIS OWN GLORY AND POWER, OR IS HE ACTUALLY JUST TRYING TO SAVE HIS FAMILY AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE AND SECURE TEAM GREEN'S CLAIM?

"I think it’s interesting."

I think when he approaches Alicent and Helaena in Episode 8, he kind of says, 'Like, look, it’s either them or us and I’m choosing. It’s gonna be them.'

"We can’t go down without a fight."

"Because if the Blacks were to come into power, it would be the Greens heads who would be on the chopping block."

"And Aemond especially."

"So it is a fight for self preservation."

"But whether or not he has his family’s interests at heart or whether or not he’s just thinking for himself?"

"I want to leave that out there."

"I want to let people make their own judgment on that."

"I think he definitely loves his mum and he wants his mum at the end."

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES IS THE ONE WHERE YOU BASICALLY DRESS DOWN AEGON IN HIGH VALYRIAN. WHAT WAS IT LIKE PREPARING FOR THAT? WAS IT AS DELICIOUS TO DO AS IT LOOKED OR WAS IT JUST ANOTHER EXTRA CHALLENGE THAT YOU JUST DID NOT WANT TO FACE IN TERMS OF MASTERING A FOREIGN LENGUAJE?

"I mean I remember doing it a few different ways, but I always kind of settled on the idea that Aemond, throughout those first four episodes, he’s just so composed."

"We see other players around the council table and they raise their voices, and Aemond is the kid who’s just acting from the peripheries."

"He’s waiting for his moment."

"He never raises his voice too much."

So in that moment, when he very much seizes a chance to attack Rook’s Rest and work with Criston Cole, he very much says, 'I’m taking over now.'

"It is a public humiliation, but he does it in such a way that Aegon is able to save face because only him and Aegon can understand it (and maybe Grand Maester Orwyle can, as well)."

"It’s something quite merciful in a way.

BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED, I TALKED TO YOU ABOUT HOW YOU STAYED AWAY FROM MATT SMITH ON SET IN SEASON 1 SO THAT WHEN THEY STARE EACH OTHER DOWN DURING DINNER, IT WOULD BE MORE IMPACTFUL. SO I'M CURIOUS, HAVE YOU MET GAYLE RANKIN YET?

"I – I have not."

OH, OKAY. IS THAT INTENTIONAL OR?

"I mean, I’ve obviously seen Gayle Rankin’s phenomenal performance in the show, but also like the Harrenhal set itself is in a different studio to the studio of the Red Keep."

"So I never really brushed shoulders with Gayle Rankin or Matt Smith this season, other than that moment when Daemon sees the vision of Aemond in Harrenal."

"I think — I think I briefly [met Gayle] at the read through."

"Briefly."

OK, COOL. I WAS JUST CURIOUS, BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT AND I'M REALLY EXCITED TO SEE ALYS AND AEMOND MEET BECAUSE THAT IS A RELATIONSHIP I HAVE SO MUCH CURIOSITY ABOUT.

"No comment."

[azure-firecracker]

The X-Files Season 1 Review (First-Time Watcher)

(Any fans-please come talk to me about the show and send me asks-I’m obsessed!)

It did not take long for me to realize that this was going to become my newest hyperfixation show. It has everything I love in my shows-a strong focus on its main characters, campy sci-fi monsters mixed with some genuine creepiness, slow burn romance, banter. In short, it’s the perfect show for me. I was basically hooked right away.

Like all first seasons, it was pretty clear that the show was still finding its footing. There were some clunky bits to iron out and the show definitely found its vibe more and more as it went along. I would say it began getting overall more consistent around episode 10 (with individual exceptions before and after that).

In terms of episodes, I enjoyed almost all the episodes of this season even though I would only call a couple stellar. Most episodes were fun or at least had fun moments, and the banter between Mulder and Scully (what’s their ship name?) is enough to keep me going through even the clunkiest and cringiest plots.

Speaking of Mulder and Scully, it’s rare that a show can make me love two characters so equally but I really do. Although Scully is much more in line with my usual favorite characters (she is my special girl and I will do anything for her), I also have a special place in my heart for Mulder’s neurodivergent traumatized puppy energy. Of course they really go together so it’s natural that I love them both.

The only weighty criticism I have for this season is that I feel Mulder gets more spotlight moments than Scully. Not egregiously, but it feels like he’s usually the one in the final fight, seeing the aliens, figuring it out, etc. I do know that they were trying to break gender roles by making Scully the skeptic, but given that the aliens are so real…here at least she often came off as oblivious and she sometimes felt like she was tagging along on Mulder’s quests. Which SUCKS! Because I LOVE HER and she could be SO USEFUL if the writers LET HER. This is why I really loved the moments where she got to step up. Veteran viewers…want to tell me if this gets better?

That criticism aside, I could watch these two fight monsters for days, and I know the S2-S5/6 stretch is considered the show’s best, so I’m looking forward to that.

Individual episode reviews under the cut.

Pilot: Fantastic introduction! It did a great job establishing the characters and their dynamic pretty seamlessly, as well as introducing the alien lore in a way that we could digest. It wasn’t perfect and the story was a bit clunky at times, but it got me hooked and did its job well. I also liked Scully being the audience surrogate here. 8/10

Deep Throat: This episode really solidified the dynamic introduced in the pilot, and is packed with great character moments. It gets a HUGE boost from Scully exchanging the guard to rescue Mulder at the end. I mentioned living for the moments when Scully gets to step up, but I think it was necessary to put this moment so early. Because Scully is new to the X-Files and also clearly wrong about aliens, it was necessary to show us that she had a lot to bring to the table and that Mulder needs her. Also a special shoutout to Seth Green as a stoner. 9.5/10

Squeeze: A very fun monster of the week episode, slightly reminiscent of BtVS. Decently creepy with that 90s horror/sci-fi vibe we all love. Plus lots of great Mulder/Scully moments. (Also, despite my complaints about Scully being underutilized, I enjoyed Mulder saving Scully at the end. Rescuing one another from mortal peril is actually my favorite trope, as long as it’s balanced. In that regard, this season has been). 8/10

Conduit: Honestly this episode was a little slow for me, I felt like the pacing could have been better. I had a hard time staying interested. Also it was hilarious that this was supposed to be Iowa because Iowa does not have mountains like that. It gets a boost from the ending scene which in itself is a 100/10. 6/10

The Jersey Devil: Now this is campier and goofier than suits the show, and I feel like they realized that soon after this. The Mulder/Scully banter still made this a good time, but it wasn’t great. Also not helped by the fact that everything happened during the day (the only time in this show where the lighting was too bright) and the Jersey Devil looked like a normal person with some dust on her. 6/10

Shadows: I found the mystery of this one quite engaging. Back with those 90s horror vibes we love, and it kept me guessing right up until the agents figured it out. Negative points for the lack of Mulder/Scully banter though. 7/10

Ghost in the Machine: Was this cheesy? Yes. Was it objectively good? No. Did I enjoy it anyway? Yes. Who doesn’t love a killer computer? Also Scully crawling out of the vents was badass af. Objectively like a 6/10 but 7/10 for my personal enjoyment.

Ice: Now THIS was the stuff. An objectively great episode of television. The tension, the paranoia, the fallout, seeing what our leads do under that kind of stress…brilliant. (Although my dad the geologist couldn’t help but point out that there is no ice sheet in Alaska). Very tempted to write an alternate version where Mulder actually is infected and Scully has to find a cure before the others kill him. That would’ve been interesting. Anyway 10/10

Space: Apparently people don’t like this episode but I enjoyed it. It had a ticking time bomb feel that I quite enjoyed. Also Mulder’s space nerdiness was adorable. 8/10

Fallen Angel: Similar to Conduit, this episode felt rather slow to me despite the fact that there was a lot happening. It just sort of failed to hook me, which is a rarity for this show. 6/10

Eve: This was FUN! I love when we get to unravel the mystery along with the agents and the plot twists definitely kept me guessing. Props to the child actors who did a great job. I did get thrown off by the many parallels to Stranger Things-even though this obviously came out first. 8/10

Fire: Once I got over my anger at sharing a name with Mulder’s horrendous ex, I liked this one. Both Mulder and Scully got good character moments here, with Mulder trying to shield Scully from all his drama and also showing one of his flaws-he’s susceptible to manipulation. Scully, conversely, was really the MVP of this episode and carried the investigation on her back. Also props to our bad guy of the week-great job being creepy! 7.5/10

Beyond the Sea: Immaculate. Probably my favorite episode of the season. Scully burying her grief in work and Mulder being gentler with her than he’s ever been. Scully’s family lore reveal. Both of them going toe to toe with this killer (forgot his name) and not knowing what to believe. Mulder getting shot and Scully getting FURIOUS. Scully’s complicated relationship forming with this killer while she also thinks about her father (rather reminiscent of Silence of the Lambs). Cinema. 10/10

Genderbender: So we have gender switching aliens who kill people…I’ll give the show overall a pass since it’s 1994 but I will not be revisiting this one. Extra points for Mulder yelling GET OFF OF HER at the guy who’s working his weird magic on Scully. Minus points for him blaming her for it after. 2.5/10

Lazarus: So we got panicked Scully 2 episodes ago and now we get panicked Mulder and it is GLORIOUS. I also found all 3 side characters-Scully’s ex as well as both criminals, interesting, especially as Scully’s ex began to mix with the bad guy. Minus points for not shooting the bank robber until after he started shooting up a room full of civilians, extra points for Mulder being great this entire episode. 9/10

Young at Heart: Episodes with creepy killers are always my favorite, and I loved seeing Mulder get toyed with. Reverse aging science…eh it’s not the main point. Minus points for the worst plan ever (let’s invite the killer into a crowded area and let him shoot at Scully even though apparently her bulletproof vest barely saved her), but extra points for Mulder angst. This man has so much guilt. 9/10

E.B.E: Honestly the plot of this one wasn’t super interesting but that’s not what we’re here for is it? Every Mulder and Deep Throat interaction? Perfect. Scully’s little « the truth is out there, but so are lies » speech? Immaculate. The ending where Deep Throat reveals his backstory and Mulder says « I’m trying to decide which lie to believe? » Cinema. 9.5/10

Miracle Man: A bit of a letdown after such a strong streak, but still solid. Pretty good! And I admired that they had the guts to kill the kid too. 6.5/10

Shapes: Another fun 90s horror episode, HEAVY on the BtVS vibes. And it actually dealt with all of the Native American issues better than I thought it would! Not necessarily well in every aspect, but I was expecting much worse considering Genderbender. 7.5/10

Darkness Falls: Y’all this was GOOD! I loved the sense of impending doom that was just present the whole time, and the melancholic feel of the entire thing. Minus points for the anti-environmentalist sentiments and for the blatant plot armor at the end (they really should have died…but then there wouldn’t be a show). 9/10

Tooms: While Tooms being let out on parole was a bit of a stretch, I enjoyed seeing Mulder stretched to his limit. He’s a good character to do that with. Tooms was an even better villain here than in Squeeze imo, because his craftiness really got to shine through. Huge bonus points for the scene in the car. « Mulder, I wouldn’t put myself on the line for anybody but you. » I’M DEAD. 8.5/10

Born Again: The most memorable parts of this episode for me were the thick fake New York accents and the fact that the kid was named Michelle so I kept quoting Derry Girls in my terrible fake Derry accent the whole time. 5/10

Roland: This was the only episode I hated. I could barely get through any Roland scenes-I thought the autism portrayal was clunky and unnecessary and I just don’t want to watch autistic people suffer. It pained me. There wasn’t even any Mulder/Scully banter to salvage it. In fact, it seemed they were barely in the episode at all. It gets half a point because Scully looked really pretty this episode. 0.5/10

The Erlenmeyer Flask: Now this was GOOD STUFF. I feel like since we know the aliens are there and there’s less mystery, alien-focused episodes so far have been slower and I’ve liked them less but THIS kept the pace up and the mystery going throughout. I was fully hooked. I was also WORRIED for Mulder at the end-I thought we were getting a season cliffhanger! And those chemical burns looked BAD. And I DID NOT expect Deep Throat to die OR for them to get shut down. Where the heck are they gonna go from here? I love it. My favorite thing about this episode was really getting back into Scully’s headspace for the last 10 minutes or so. With some exceptions, I feel like a lot of the season has been shown through Mulder’s eyes (part of my gripe from earlier), but the pilot was 100% Scully and circling back to her here felt right. I also liked that she had to do another hostage exchange-a parallel to the first time she really showed why Mulder needs her. So much to love here. 10/10

Idk how many txf fans I have here aside from my one post that made the rounds, but if you’re here congratulations for making it through my essay! Let me know if you’d like any more thoughts/analyses, and if you’d like shorter, episodic posts when it comes time for Season 2:)

[rosemariad]

SUPERNATURAL SEASON 15 - THE BITTER END - SERIES FINALE

We finally made it here.

Ooooooooh boy. 😬

The opening for THE series finale felt out of place to me.

You’re gonna waste minutes on this really?

How about a discussion about how they beat God, like they actually managed the impossible - 2 dudes just take the fight to the OG master & creator of the universe and won that shit with some plan they pulled outta their asses. Their surrogate child went on to become the next primordial being to reign over the universe. But no, we’re not gonna even talk about any of that.

Coulda done a million different things even with the COVID restrictions (the two actors in a room across a table, do whatever to keep them safe) but whatever 🤦🏾‍♀️

So after God comes vampires w/ masks? Really SPN?

The minute Dean slammed the Impala’s trunk shut after sundown made me nervous (that would be the last time he’s with his Impala, the last time he ever sees her w/ his own eyes 🥺😭)

Out of all the folks to pull outta the SPN peanut gallery you pick that random chick from 1x19?! Jenny?! Just to kill her off anyway (so I spoke too soon, vampJenny is the official last female to die on this show)

Ah…the nail of imminent demise

That final shot of Sam & Dean was toooo fucking intimate.

Suddenly the Wincest people aren’t so crazy. Why are y’all encouraging this?! Dude, they’re brothers!?! #brothersnotlovers. They could’ve done it like the end of Pearl Harbor where they got Ben Affleck crying over Josh Harnett’s body in the crash. Gimme weepy Sam, that Oscar moment. Dean died sooo young 🥺😒 younger than Mary (I know she was technically in her thirties but TBH she was 64/65), bobby, Rufus, Ellen & John. This is why we can’t have nice things😔

Cas is gonna be so saaaad. He always fought so hard for Dean's sake, only for the guy to die so young…it’s an insult - an outrage really. Dean fought so hard for so long only for him to say - it was always gonna end this way?! 😡

He didn’t have to make it to old age (though he deserved to) but don’t let him die like this. All accepting so soon after resolving the meta plot 😔 there were things Dean probably wanted to do and now, he’ll never get his chance. He could’ve settled down with someone (it wouldn’t have been Cas since he got killed off already but shit I would’ve settled for Dean to settle with anyone for a minute, like Sam did) - also would’ve been nice to hear from Jody or Donna and others one last time but hey fuck the side characters 🤣 (oh COVID the scapegoat that keeps on giving - it’s like the showrunners forgot the convenience of modern technology).

So Chuck definitely won - he's no longer burdened by having to deal w/ the universe and one of the Winchesters died anyway. Not exactly as planned but they never broke free, not really. I totally subscribe to this theory. Especially since it’s alluded to that Dean Jr - Sam’s son - is a hunter also at the time of Sam’s death by old age (we think…I’m just saying that’s an awful not of tubes and stuff for the old man, maybe just to monitor his heart rate/health - eh)

The Sam wig is bad but eh - doesn’t bother me - we’re talking about a CW show wrapping up a project, it’s not the end of the world people, the plot is what matter s and the plot here is a fucking shit show my lord. It’s not the first show to suffer a shit ending to a show that captivated worldwide audiences but damn this is a bummer.

Especially since it’s alluded to that Dean Jr - Sam’s son - is a hunter also at the time of Sam’s death by old age (we think…I’m just saying that’s an awful not of tubes and stuff for the old man, maybe just to monitor his heart rate/health - eh) But yay for Sam apparently - couldn’t think of a better name for your son than Dean Jr.? It only makes sense to make the kid a junior if it was Dean’s actual kid, like Dean would’ve been Dean Sr. And his boy would’ve been Dean Jr. or Dean W. The II. And and hello there women whose face we don’t get to see (really committing to limiting women’s presence in the show - again probably blaming in on COVID but if you have a literal baby with this giant man, you can chance a woman being there in an actual camera shot where we can see her face 🙄) Back to Dean - again cuz of COVID? I guess - we don’t get to see him reunite with anyone (not his MOM even?) except Bobby for like 1 second and then he’s just driving around in his car. No roadhouse, no fishing, nothing but sitting in his car, alone killing time until Sam inevitably returns to him.

Oh what a shame…

So that happened I guess. SPN was something else, for better or worse. Probably never gonna get a show like that again. They tried it with the Winchesters spin off about a supposed alternate universe MaryxJohn thing and friends but honestly if its not about the Winchesters brothers or Destiel who cares 🤣 they pretty much wrapped up Sam & Dean’s stories thanks to this finale but Dean (per the Winchesters flop) could be brought back into the fray somehow if they wanted - but hey that’s what fanfiction’s for 😁

Well SPN it’s been interesting…sort of.

On that note…

I wanna thank the fans of the show, your hot takes, memes and general fervor over this show/story is what finally made me watch it all. Cuz I remember the TV spots from back in the day, cruising the CW channel on weeknights after school. I was too busy watching other shows to give SPN a chance while it aired. So thank you 🙏🏽

[natjennie]

so like obviously we the audience couldn't have known about the ghosts' deaths before the show introduced them to us, largely via alison as an audience surrogate. but the way they're presented so often means that they are mysteries to the ghosts themselves. some of them are pretty unmistakable and obviously the ghosts that were there when it happened know, but even then. it seems like they just don't talk about it.

for example, when fanny opens up about being pushed by george and thomas says "I did know that, I was there" but like. you never brought it up before? in the couple hundred years of knowing her, you never mentioned it. and in the thomas thorne affair, which is all about the ghosts having different perspectives on thomas' death, the information each of them reveal is like. new to the other ghosts. which implies that they've never really talked about it together before.

which is fascinating because it could read either as like. being respectful of their privacy. which is sweet. or you can believe the sadder version which is that they just didn't talk to each other. hundreds of years together and they never asked. they never said "do you want to talk about it?" they never offered comfort on a death day. never shared the details of their own deaths. this read is corroborated pretty solidly by the bone plot and pineapple day.

and then there's also the aspect of the order the deaths are revealed making perfect sense with each of the ghosts' personalities and openness as people.

pat is an open book, trusting and genuine, and his cause of death is unmistakable. and his death day flashback is the earliest in the series. humphrey's cause of death is obvious but the circumstances are not, but when asked he's willing to share. and then most of the ghosts stop listening when they think he's a hero. hesitant to initiate conversation because it was so drilled into him by sophie's disinterest, and forgotten as soon as he's not important. thomas believes in the most romantic version of his own story, editorializing and glamorizing his betrayal to alison and being devastated when the truth is pieced together, mirroring his constant attempt to make things more idealized than they are, and his rare and poignant moments of sincerity. kitty's naivety and optimism made her truly believe she just fell asleep, never bothering to question the details of her death, and the ghosts knew just enough about eleanor's bullying to suspect her, but would never confront kitty about it directly. her episode comes late in the series and has a lot of intrigue and staging for a very mundane truth. and the captain!!! the last death reveal of the show, holding on to his attempted deception and secrecy until the very end, trying to bolster his image as a leader to the other ghosts and only succeeding in looking silly, being made to perform a role he isn't very good at for the chance of acceptance. and oh, look at that, that's exactly how he died.

anyway, this post got away from me but like. the utter craft that went into this show astounds me it's all so perfect. are you hearing this.

[ashkav]

Rainy, her baby, and the Laughing Samurai theory

So Shioli Kutsuna's character has been revealed! Rainy, a pregnant woman on the crew of the Magellan who has the ability to cause rain fall (Shioli said this during the Tokyo Games show, though I can't find the relevant clip.)

several very interesting things are said during this cutscene, and when combined with what else we know from the promo materials and also from DS1, I think they can be combined to form some ideas. And boy, do I have Ideas about Rainy.

First, the foundation, all (very few) info from previous media that I think is relevant to Rainy.

a) The Songs:

We have so far had three songs about babies/ children in the promo material. Lou's lullaby twice, both connected to Higgs, on the electric guitar and then again with Troy Baker singing it very ominously. And then the broken down rock-a-bye baby tune right at the very end of the state of play announcement trailer during the credits. Obviously, songs to do with children that are usually happy or peaceful now inverted from comforting to something scary and unsettling = Bad Things are going to happen to the kids.

But Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head is not a song that has been made sad or unsettling - yet.

I absolutely feel this song is going to be called back to at a climatic moment in the story, possibly at Rainy's own death, possibly as the last thing she says to her baby. The song itself seems like a bad omen to sing to a fetus, what with Rainy's name being what it is and the lyrics being about perseverence through hardship - difficult not to instinctually think Rainy and her baby are about to suffer some pretty awful trauma that ends with one or both of them 'falling' to the Beach.

Raindrops keep falling seems very likely to continue the same pattern of a comforting song for children introduced at a peaceful time only to warp into horrifying due to a climatic moment - the only reason it hasn't already been warped is because the audience has to hear it the first way first and it didn't exist in the last game to be set up the same way, unlike the other two.

b) 'I just can't wait.'

This is a pretty innoccuos statement for a pregnant woman to say irl, but within the game verse, Rainy is literally the second woman we've ever seen who has expressed an actual desire to have children.

Let's very quickly run through the list of female characters who have children in DS1:

Lucy, Sam's wife who killed herself because the visions she was getting from Sam's DOOMS afflicted baby were so horrible she couldn't continue living.

Lisa Strand, Sam's bio mother who became brain dead early on in her pregnancy due to a car accident and who we never hear from, even in supplementals, and is shot in the head by Sam's dad.

Bridget Strand, Sam's adoptive mother who revived him after accidentally killing him and kept him to raise out of guilt, traumatising Sam so badly throughout his life that he suppresses his memories of her and doesn't really want to speak to her even as she lays dying of cancer in front of him.

A whole host of unnamed still-mothers, impregnated after brain-death and farmed for the BBs they produce.

and finally, Lockne, who actually wanted a baby not because of the baby itself, but because she wanted some part of her lover to live on even after his death. Due to issues with her uterus, she is incapable of becoming pregnant, and even when her twin agrees to surrogate, the baby and Mama both die in a terrorist bombing at the hospital.

(for the purposes of this list I am not counting the mountaineering couple, since they don't matter except to create stakes for that one timed mission.)

There's a pretty clear trend here - almost no one wants children, and those that have them are in incredible danger of losing the child or themselves. This makes sense in a world where hospitals no longer exist and the very act of childbirth is incredibly dangerous and mostly everyone is pretty much asexual anyway, so it's a massive outlier that Rainy expresseses wanting the baby, even if it would be a normal thing to say in our world.

Maybe this is a stretch, but I can't help but feel there's some thematic parrellel here between Rainy, who wants her baby to be born very much, and still-mothers, who are made pregnant but never truly give birth and who cannot ever consent - not that they don't consent, but that they are incapable of consent in the first place. All their children, except three (Sam, Lou, and the BB Coffin managed to save), die in the womb. They're always bridges and never babies, never born, never really living or dead. They are nearly unanimously incompatible with the concept of life, or growth, just the same as their still-mothers are incompatible with the idea of wanting them.

More on this later.

C) The Samurai

The Samurai is visibly pregnant. There is only one pregnant character in the cast (so far). There HAS to be a connection here.

This is not the first time we've seen a visibly pregant character do crazy insane shit - Sam, for instance, is 'pregnant' with Lou's glass womb for the whole first game and probably the second too, and he does some intense stuff.

The circumstances with Rainy are different though. For one, her womb is made out of the squishy human stuff, not bulletproof glass, and she can't take it off. Rainy doesn't seem particularly athletic either: in her and Tomorrow's intro, where they're stacking boxes into a shelf, she moves slowly and with effort, not to mention that the Samurai is taller than even Higgs (Troy Baker is 6'3), where Rainy is shorter than Sam (Norman Reedus is 5'10, and Shioli Kutsuna is 5'3). Plus, the Samurai suit has no way to see out of it, so even if somehow it augmented her height, strength and speed, she still wouldn't be able to see what she was doing.

It is very, very unlikely that she is the one inside the mech suit. No, instead, I think it's her baby in there.

Sounds insane, but listen: we've already seen Higgs' robots have some connection to BT's, floating like they do and having visible strands leading up like they do and potentially being vessels for them. Dollman is explicitly stated to have been a normal adult human person who used his medium powers to possess the doll and got stuck there when his human body died. Even Lou seems to have the ability to haunt her old pod, with the ghostly winged BT form and tentacles. The technology and precedent for soul-to-machine connection exist, the Samurai makes baby noises, it looks pregnant. And thematically...

Remember that earlier section, where I was talking about Rainy wanting the baby vs still-mothers who cannot want and produce babies who cannot live? Also remember how parents with DOOMs very often pass the trait onto their children, and that an adult with DOOMs (Sam) and a BB with DOOMs (Lou) connected through the umbilical made some very strange things happen?

I think that Rainy's desire for a child interacting with both of their DOOMs will produce something very strange. I have two major theories about what could happen to get the baby in the machine:

The baby and mother cannot both be on the same plane at the same time. Rainy's baby suffers some strange accident while Rainy is giving birth (maybe she gives birth as the Magellan is travelling through the Beach?), and the connection between them becomes like a still-mother and BB, but only in some aspects. The connection between the living and dead is swapped constantly between mother and fetus instead of mother alone tethering to the world of the dead. Metaphorically, you could compare this to a Drawbridge, evolving out of the previous Bridge-style that BRIDGES created with the still-mothers. With Rainy and her baby, either side can be 'drawn up', and the burden is shared between them. The tragedy of this is that even though both Rainy and her baby survive, they can never truly meet or meaningfully interact, as one must always be on the Beach when the other is in the living world. Possibly this could be made more extreme, where instead of being seperated in mind only they are also unable to interact physically - one must physically be in the Beach if the other is in the land of the living. We know it's possible to live on the Beach because Tomorrow confirmed it, even if Sam described it 'like hell', so maybe they build the baby a suit that it's pod can slot into to help it survive the time it has to spend on the Beach - we know BBs are quite smart and have an abnormal amount of dexterity and also increased senses that allow them to see BTs, so it could be possible that the BB became skilled at piloting the suit because it was literallly fighting for it's life on the Beach. This would thematically mirror Bridget/Amelie, or at least the lie that Bridget/Amelie told the world - that Amelie was Bridget's daughter who couldn't be removed from the Beach.

The baby is psychic pre-birth. The baby is believed to have died inside Rainy because it stops moving and scans show that it's funtionally brain dead - plot twist being that the baby is alive, but has just accidentally astral projected into a machine. The Samurai is an upgraded version of Higgs' BT robots that either Higgs built or Drawbridge built after they'd studied some of his work, and the pregnancy bump is an unconcious change that the baby makes to the robot, like how Dollman can minorly alter his appearance when he's mad.

I think this would give Dollman an interesting double - adult in a small, powerless puppet vs baby in a big, deadly, hypermobile machine. Brain vs brawn, thought vs impulse. It even fulfills Jester vs Sage if we want to get Jung's archetypes in here, what with the Samurai laughing and Dollman being an expository friend you carry with you, like Mimir from God of War.

The second one is the one I feel is most likely - it ties in so neatly and honestly I'm not too sure that Rainy would survive her time swapped out on the Beach if whatever the baby samurai was fighting was strong enough to make it so skilled against Higgs, even if there does seem to be a community there to help her.

Whatever ends up being the case, Rainy absolutely definitely is not going to have a 'normal' baby. There is no such thing as a normal baby in Kojima land.

[allastoredeer]

Hey there! Hope you don't mind me pummeling you outta the blue with random Alastor and Niffty hc's!

Contrary to popular belief, Alastor does NOT own Niffty's soul. She's with him because she loves him (platonically) and simply doesn't want to leave his side.

Alastor has never experienced this kind of non-transactional companionship before. Even his other close friendships (Mimzy and even Rosie) were at least SOMEWHAT transactional. He hasn't had someone care for him so unconditionally since his mother.

Niffty is 100% Alastor's favorite person, as well as his surrogate daughter. And while he would never confirm these facts outloud, the amount of special treatment Niffty receives from Alastor is obvious.

For some reason, I have this crystal clear mental image where, if the hotel were ever to perform on stage for the rest of hell, when it's Niffty's turn to perform, Alastor would be like a parent at his kid's school play. Out of his seat, up close to the stage with an old-timey camera snapping a million pictures of Niffty🥰 And God help ANYONE in the audience if they even THINK of booing or heckling her😬

Niffty is the only person who could successfully guilt trip Alastor. On the incredibly rare occasion that he manages to anger or upset her, Niffty's method to get him to apologize and behave is to threaten not to invite him to her next birthday party.

And it WORKS!

EVERY! DAMN! TIME!🤣

Niffty's real name is Hiromi. Alastor is the ONLY one who knows this. Alastor will call her by this name during quiet, delicate moments where one or both of them are feeling vulnerable. For example, after his fight with Adam, when Alastor is in such immense pain he's practically delirious while Niffty does her best to tend to him.

Niffty, shockingly enough, gets along super well with LUCIFER of all people. But that's honestly to be expected. Despite how much he tries to hide it, Luci is very much a gremlin at heart, and like begets like😋 Niffty and Lucifer get along so well in fact that the shoe is suddenly on the other foot and we have a reverse Dad Beat Dad scenario, only this time ALASTOR is the jealous one😂

In the end, though, it's a good thing that Niffty and Lucifer get along so well, considering he's her future step-dad and all😉😊

Love the idea that Alastor doesn't own Niffty's soul, she just attached herself to him and refused to let go. (My headcanon for how they met involves her breaking into his house and stealing his shit, and it took him two weeks before he actually caught her. He's not too mad though, she cleaned up after herself and did his dishes every time she snuck in - which is why it was so hard to catch her. She doesn't leave any evidence!)

Niffty comes on stage and Alastor just:

REVERSE DAD BEAT DAD! Lucifer really said "if you're taking my daughter, I'm taking yours," and Alastor is doing the shocked Pikachu face.

[scolop98]

Turns out I have too many thoughts to put this in a comment and honestly it was a matter of time before I made a post about these two.

Okay so: AMC's Pantheon. Season one episode one. Cary and Renee are playing out their whole "pretending to be in an abusive relationship" shtick. We the audience find out that this is a ruse after their shouting match at dinner, when they meet up in the garage.

Everything about this exchange—their dialogue and poses, the smirk on Renee’s face, the casualness of it all—read like flirting to me. That, combined with the general reveal that they'd been faking an abusive marriage—not to mention how Renee immediately slides back into The Role after Cary leaves—had me HOOKED. AND it was our first hint that something was seriously and abnormally wrong (= very interesting) with Caspian's life/the Keyes family, so my initial interest in Caspian's subplot was heavily tied to Renee and Cary's dynamic.

Then we get to episodes two and three... and they absolutely hate each other.

(context: first video is after he shoves her to the ground in front of their "son" and his "girlfriend" in ep2. second video, from ep3, they are picking out the hammer that (spoilers) will be used to break her arm later that night)

Every interaction is clipped dialogue and frosty glares and the bare minimum effort spent to make sure you and your coworker aren't going to step on each other's toes. At least on Renee's side—sometimes Cary seems like he's trying to connect with Renee (ex: after they meet "Hannah" for the "first" time), and sometimes he just seems pissed at her (ex: buying out the hammer) (which is understandable, she's the worst. she is such an asshole and I love her for that)

And then we get to end of episode three: The Hammer Scene

Where Renee breaks her own arm because Cary is "too pussy to do it himself" (not an actual quote), and Cary breaks down in tears after leaving Caspian. When Cary shows that despite participating in this ethical nightmare, he's enough of a decent human being to not want to break his coworker's arm and also genuinely cares about the surrogate son he's raised for the last 17 years; and when Renee shows that she is 110% committed to whatever this still-ambiguous, evil-shadowy-tech-corp-backed Truman Show gambit is that she's dedicated the last 17 years of her life to.

Also relevant (to me specifically) is that this scene is sandwiched directly between David and Ellen's breakup scenes, which are some of my favorite moments in season one and the primary reason why David/Ellen is my favorite Pantheon ship. The contrast between David and Ellen's dynamic (we both agree it's healthier to not get back together, but that doesn't mean we can't still banter about old memories) & my reaction to them (WOW is it obvious these two used to be married, instant OTP) compared to Renee and Cary's power hour (i.e. performing the most jaw-dropping, unexpected plot twist in the show up to that point) did something irreversible to my brain chemistry and single-handedly kickstarted my interest in "incredibly divorced animated parents with convoluted relationship histories" ships.

In hindsight, the tone shift in Cary and Renee's interactions in the first three episodes was probably just bad continuity or one of those "characterization was not fully fleshed out when we made the first episode" situations. Aside from the first episode, literally all their scenes in season one make it obvious that Renee and Cary were in a purely professional fake marriage and were NOT friends. Renee can’t stand Cary, and he’s incredibly frustrated with her half the time. While their garage banter did an incredible job as a Reveal Scene, it's also a clear outlier in terms of how Renee and Cary's relationship is written.

I wasn’t really thinking about any of that during my first watch of Pantheon. I was thinking: "flirty coworkers in a morally fucked up job" + "clearly pissed at each other" = "hate-to-love-you ship dynamic," and then I was thinking "HOLY SHIT SHE JUST BROKE HER OWN ARM" and could not stop rotating this family in my mind. I did notice that the garage scene didn't match their later characterization, but instead of thinking about the bad writing I kept rotating the potential of that dynamic in my mind.

Later S1 developments such as "Renee sees Cary and shoots him on sight" and "now that I've put you in this hospital bed I will gloat about everything (I think) you've lost, and also we still have to pretend to be married," and "we are in different states and still jump at the first chance to throw each other under the bus, which unintentionally reads as obsession with each other" did nothing to dissuade this train of thought, mind you.

So to synthesize all this: Cary and Renee are very clearly not in any sort of romantic/sexual/emotional relationship. Renee dislikes Cary at best, and all of Cary's post-episode-one moments of concern/sympathy toward Renee can be framed through this flashback sequence:

Cary, exasperated: "And… we're gonna be working together for awhile […] Let's. Try and make it pleasant. Deal?"

Cary (reasonably) wants to get along with the coworker he's going to spend the next 17 years of his life with, even (especially) if she's an asshole.

But that plot-critical-but-OOC moment in episode one wired my brain to think about these two being close enough to banter, and through that filter their dynamic in the rest of the season looked a lot like those sexually-charged, obsessive mortal enemy dynamics that enemies-to-lovers and hero/villain shippers thrive on. Not to mention the fact that these two have lived the last 17 years in the same house and might've been sleeping in the same bed for several years to keep up appearances (I know that everyone's favorite fake-marriage duo don't sleep in the same room but TwiYor don't have to keep their fake marriage a secret from their child). It is very, very easy for me to imagine an AU where Cary and Renee would have hate sex sometimes, and I feel like it would have practically zero butterflies on the outcome of the plot. Or alternatively, imagine if they were genuinely in a relationship while raising Caspian and how insanely toxic it would be—especially since their platonic, professional canon relationship is already incredibly unbalanced in terms of emotional labour.

And the fact that one of their most emotionally charged, status quo-changing, plot-relevant scenes was paired and directly contrasted with the most emotionally charged, character arc-relevant scene of my favorite Pantheon ship (David x Ellen) in what rapidly became my favorite sequence of season? Meant I was constantly reminded of this ship (Cary x Renee) whenever I thought about why I loved this show.

Anyways that's how a tiny bit of inconsistent characterization in pantheon's first episode turned these awful fake parents into my second favorite Pantheon OTP - not in the sense of "I think these characters should be together," but more like a "can you imagine how much worse their lives would've been if they were in an on-and-off situationship at any point in the last 18 years" that I constantly rotated in my mind for weeks after finishing season one. I hope my first attempt at a proper tumblr analysis essay was coherent, I wrote it between midnight and 3 AM. As a bonus, have this edit of them that I made last summer for a "toxic/complicated/disorienting relationships" MEP

The song is Tainted Love, covered by Milky Chance and originally by Soft Cell

Also, to clear up any confusion: just because I think Renee is The Worst and an Awful Human Being does not mean I don't like her as a character. I like her character a lot more than Cary actually. She's not blorbo material but she IS "I love to hate this character" material. She's the centerpiece of the entire fucked up Keyes Family Dynamic! From an audience perspective, she acts as The Face of Logorhythm's clone plot, given how she has more screen time and direct interactions with Caspian than Cary or Julius Pope in S1, and she's so intricately tied to Caspian's "what the fuck is wrong with my life" investigations. She's an asshole, but she's a complex, interesting asshole with plot relevance, screen time, and more personality than Julius Pope, and I loved watching how she and Caspian play off each other and how that changes over time. also she's a fucked-up and evil woman and idk i find that compelling in a fictional character, sue me.

[britcision]

Not gonna lie, we’ve been watching YuYu Hakusho alongside the release of Delicious In Dungeon and uh

It’s been illuminating

Like on the one hand hoooooooboy you can taste the 90s animation techniques (and the Netflix version is somehow more strobey and seizure bait, and they’ve fucked random chunks of audio?? I have the dvds I can prove they’ve fucked around)

On the other hand… yeah, it really, really highlights what people have already been talking about with the Delicious In Dungeon - the pacing issues, especially with going shot for shot from the manga instead of embracing their own medium

Cuz I will stand by YuYu Hakusho being the best anime version of a manga I’ve ever seen. It’s true to the manga, but keeps up the pacing and fleshes things out by leaning more into the side characters, and particularly our audience surrogates, Koenma and George

The fights all pace well because we cut to the people watching them, so it’s not just repetitive punch punch punch shots (although we do get those)

Whereas this week’s episode of DunMeshi in particular…. Really suffered from skewed pacing on that fight

They had way too much time just standing around talking, both with the harpies and in between Falin’s attacks, and I’d bet even an anime-only fan could pick out which shots were literal panels in the anime because nothing moved to flow between them

Those shots of the separated groups especially; this is anime, not manga. Those people could have been moving, interacting, doing things instead of panning over a still

I get that it takes more time and money but this was a really significant fight and it does make me worry a little for season 2, because the red dragon fight also had some pacing problems (although to a much lesser degree) and season 2 is when the combat pops off

I really do appreciate them wanting to do a faithful interpretation of the manga and sticking close to Ryoko Kui’s vision, but anime is its own medium and by sticking too closely they’re not taking full advantage of that medium

You have more time to fill in an animated episode vs a manga chapter because your characters literally move and flow, and three panels of action happen in a second

They’ve been folding two or three chapters into each episode, but this week’s especially (ep 17) really played too close to that two chapter timeline, instead of taking out the important story beats and the time to fill and working out how to pace around that instead

(Funnily enough though, they actually nailed the exact same kinda pacing issue in the exact same episode for the Laios and Shuro fight; that one was fucking great, it was clear that action was ongoing even while we focused on other people, and it had good weight and emphasis despite being largely offscreen, just like the harpy fight should have been

I. Guess. They coulda put more work into that than the Falin fight? Cuz it’s a huge character moment but for fuck’s sake Chimera!Falin SHOULD be the bigger one! We the audience got hints but this was the REVEAL)

Honestly just… the 1000% disinterest in the harpy fight was jarring, and it leading immediately into the Falin fight that was basically stop motion without the time lapse didn’t help

Cutting to Marcille and Shuro on the shirt tear was fucking great though, chef’s kiss, someone out there is still watching over us, I just hope they work out a happy medium soon

I get that there’s lots of iconic and fantastic panels in the manga, I made a complete summary of every single chapter, but the anime shouldn’t be showing them as stills

The characters should be moving in between them, not snapping from one face to the next like a slide show

In a perfect world I’d also love some more little character asides and things a la YYH, but there just isn’t the same easy audience characters to cut to

But but but

Thistle reacting a la Koenma to some snippets of the bullshit in his dungeon would give me fucking LIFE he can’t be watching all the time for obvious plot reasons but I want him to find a veggie golem

I want him to see the kraken and find some leftovers and be searching for Delgal and plotting their dinner and wondering why he can smell something delicious and what is it and can he make that

Move the background stuff that got cut from the Tances’ episodes, cut to Namari and the twins hanging out and talking about leg guards, there’s SO MUCH supplemental material

It might be less one for one to the manga but it’d stop the weird dragging out and give us something more, something extra to appreciate the anime on its own merits

It’s nice to have an anime experience that is very close to reading the manga, but it’s something really special to have the anime shine and add to the experience on its own

Anyway next week is the shapeshifter and I’m so hype for that and wondering if they are gonna include just a smidge of meta knowledge since Kui did tell us whose impersonations are whose 👀

[2n2n]

ch 120

OFF WE GO

First off... I like how tiny itty bitty Amane feels in this promo image... I wonder if drawing the grown-up Amane is making Aida-sensei reaaaaaally mentally shrinkify the 13 year old boy, really impress in her mind he's young, small, weedy ... he feel soooooo little boy here

ughhh i was soooo excited for the full color spread of Amane x Nene-chaaaaan... OHHH THE GHOUULLLLLL!! red red red ... makes Nene-chan's red eyes feel like Amane's destiny, right? ♥♥♥♥

classic horny horny horny panels hahaha mmmmmm... sensei loves to put Nene-chan in such gripping peril...

I'm so fascinated by well-chan's perspective on human desires, expectations.... I don't see it as an evil entity, but a confused and mixed-up one. Human's desires are what dictate a kaii's nature ... humans revered the well, prayed to it, honored it, and created a narrative wherein bodies offered to it were to be grateful, thankful, eager to fall to the bottom, offered 'paradise'.. it was seen as a protector of the village, something it relied on, necessary for peace & prosperity, a pillar of the community, a God, not a Monster ... different.

all the same, the people thrown into it resent it, wither bitter and resentful ... there's nothing consistent or easy to understand about what humans want, whether they like or dislike, respect or fear, want or dread... I feel there's nothing 'obvious' ... I don't think there's an opportunity to become something 'nice' in a human, comprehensible sense. Just a mess of the extremes fed into it for centuries ...

in some way, I have to find its sentiments beautiful... or pure, for what they are.

mouuuuuu;;; made me emo... how sweet of an impulse for Nene-chan... the well entity exists outside of conventional time and order of events, right....? I think it can be confused and mixed-up (as much as Tsukasa can in every timeline...) easily, there must always be shades and impressions deep down corridors of itself... I really love what Tsukasa being merged with it seems to do to his mind, so I'm really endeared by this poor muddled little Amane, mess of stimuli.... beautiful sad girl crying....

such an Amane-like expression, it makes me feel forlorn....

these poor twins..

sweeties... lost confused things..... threadbare...

pretty girl crying in your hazy memory... what a perfect 'first impression' of Nene-chan to stick inside of you... poor confused creature, Amane....

I really appreciate you Nene-chan!!!! you're right you know, that's not the right age at all!!! I don't blame you for trying to rationalize it... in moments like this Nene-chan feels like such a direct audience surrogate ... when she does things like try to postulate about the injured Amane in the Bookstacks, you know, calling out the obvious thing in plain sight, which we'll be pulling apart as not-the-case....

I'm happy its said plainly that he's killing many people... it's funny we've abandoned a world where Amane has murdered one person in a passion, for another world where Amane is made to kill wantonly, without a personal touch...

it makes the previous Amane's actions feel entirely self-directed, doesn't it? Not under a curse, but his own decision... something important, a special reason....

I want to know why that would was so precious... I believe it is our most precious reality...

anyways, Kou having been killed by Amane is so great ahahhahaha, I love it!!!! Really thrilled us when reading the MANGAUP like UWAAAAAHHH!!!! I don't feel anything about particular panels... but it is a great decision.

So many people came to the Red House, I had thought "how are we going to divide up all of these people sensibly?" because of course, you can't constantly have 5 characters interacting in every scene, it's too many cooks in the kitchen (not that a lot of things don't do that wwwww, but I feel AidaIro tend to create a tighter cast for insular events).... simply killing off Mitsuba and Kou for this timeline is hilariously efficient, GODBLESS!!!!!!! They got so many panels for the early chapters this arc so I feel there's no love lost... and we'll certainly have to deal with Mitsuba's exploding body when we get back to 'our' timeline anyhow.... so, it's a solid move--!!!

I kindof loved how they got 'shelved' for the latter half of the far-shore arc (and again, it was a fine counterbalance to all the Kou/Teru we got at the start of that with the train.... they simply had their turn).... I loved how they were like facedown in a puddle while other important events happened wwwww... I sincerely think AidaIro give all of their characters their due time, and aren't as quick to abandon characters or relegate them to being randos as a lot of (particularly shounen) manga....

I'm sure some people won't like it, but I feel we were given such a clear image of Mitsuba & Kou's life in this world. If I cared about them, I'd be happy to play in that space for ages. It's a well-constructed little playhouse.

we're all so curious...

he's the most interesting thing in the entire universe, in every universe, isn't he?

it must be said that this is a well-drawn and interestingly-constructed panel... sensei is very good at a scary crop.

GODDDDDDD seeing Nene-chan pulled towards the well is the scariest thing ever, but it also makes me feel hungry with a deep profound lust ... ouhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh give the girl to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I prommy to take good care of herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ouuuuuououuuuu *shakes this off of me*

anyway.

Love to see Teru blast Kou--!!!!! What an amazing situation HAHAHAHAHAH this is like a dream, I love this for Teru....! I've always imagined he'd completely back Kou no matter what, but this situation is interesting... it's not 'his' Kou, at least... he's wanting to 'go back' to the one who is stupid and helplessly dependent on him, innocent and naive ... but ah, it's still miserable and horrifying, I love for such a real trauma to strike Teru! Ahhh having to exorcise your cute little brother like an old yeller situation.... hahahaahahaaaaa. Heehoo---!! AIDAIRO-SENSEI'S PARTY!!!

go ride that train together lads.... lol... it's really funny .... they doied.... RIP... I'm sorry, but I kind of hope this arc lasts years in real earth time and they're just gone for that long .................................... I would like to focus on those who are left behind , and even how this influences Teru and Akane's demeanor overall... well, even Aoi... Teru is typically such an obnoxious guy, and able to play off a lot of emotions... I know Akane has a lot of sympathy for that poor dumb animal, deep down, perceptive to Teru's lonliness (though it doesn't alter how annoying or ungracious Teru is, Akane is just too kind to ever really abandon him...). In a situation like this even Aoi has to be grounded... an interesting dynamic left behind here--!!!!!!

I like how harsh and without any kind of pleasantry or flourish... don't have anything left inside of you for performances of grace!!!! I like it I like it.... show me the realest Teru ... !

So edged with the inner chambers of the well-chan </3 let me see her </3 </3 </3 ohhhh let me seeee </3

I like the small detail of Akane using his phone flashlight to peer into the well's depths....

you've never looked better, Teru! I want to see you like this (: let's stop jerking people around and being capricious, alright...? It's a deflection at the best of times anyway, isn't it.... in one way or another.

I'm eager for the next chapterrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a wonderful turn of events!

huge fan of what we're left with here!

[dingodad]

i think itz also rlly silly when ppl act like the hiveswap purplez conflict w/ gamzee being part ov an obscure cult bc like. even if we operate under the misconception most purplez arent cultistz itz not especially unusual tht a group ov like 4 trollz on a train who kno each other personally would be in the same cult. like especially with the higher castez hiveswap iznt rlly depicting Every Possible Type Of Guy within each caste az much az just specific cliquez tht are riding tht train at tht moment. i think a lot ov complaintz abt the hiveswap trollz being samey miss that context. understandably given friendsim stripz it but

i mean to be honest i understand the other side of this complaint. when a game is sold to us as an exploration of alternia, with a human audience surrogate protagonist who's learning about this alien world as we are, it's absolutely normal to think along the lines of "why would this story - and the webcomic that precedes it - only show us purplebloods who are clowns unless it was trying to tell us that purplebloods are clowns?"

making inferences and reading between the lines like that is an important part of reading any story but i think it's especially relevant when we're talking about homestuck, which is particularly economical with its storytelling and pretty much always tries to give the reader the space to figure things out on their own rather than tell us everything outright. like if we spent our whole time playing hiveswap assuming everything we saw could be an outlier we'd basically never end up learning anything about alternia at all. which to me feels pretty cheap

but along those lines ive also never really understood why people chose to interpret the homestuck trolls as all being freak outliers either lol. like i have basically assumed since day 1 that the 12 homestuck trolls were pretty much representative of their castes as a whole. the hemospectrum/alternia as a whole only even exists to facilitate the existence of these 12 characters specifically so why would that not be the case. why would purplebloods NOT all be clowns just because gamzee is

[mdhwrites]

I don't know if you've watched Gravity Falls or been deep in the fandom but I just realized how similar Luz and Mabel kinda are. They're both young quirky girls whose selfish actions helped the main villain achieve their goal (supposedly, in Luz's case) and learn the lesson of facing reality instead of being stuck in a fantasy world where they get everything they want (although Luz doesn't really learn this even though it was kinda set-up for her in s1) (they also have a girl rival with shit parents that the fandom ships them with but anyway-)

I'm not saying this to shit on Luz though, I like Luz. But it mind boggles me how Mabel gets shitted on way more than her does despite being younger, actually learning her lesson, and apologizing for it. It might because they're different shows but I know a lot of TOH fans were/are GF fans because of the creators' relationship so the fandoms aren't that different from one another. It MIGHT be because Mabel trusted Blendin so easily despite the situation being shady as hell (while Luz just thought Philip was a normal human in the demon realm) but to be fair, Mabel was cornered in a moment of vulnerability and she literally didn't even know what she was giving him. Abandoning her friends and family for her own fantasy land while an apocalypse going on was really horrible, I won't deny that, but Luz also pretty much did the same when she chose the demon realm (place she doesn't know anything about with STRANGERS) over her own world in the first episode. Sure there wasn't anything horrific going on in the human realm so her ignorance of it wasn't as bad as Mabel's– BUT THEN in TTT she thinks of leaving everyone behind by staying in the human realm while the Collector was doing who knows what???

I don't know, this might be kinda petty, I haven't rewatched GF in ages, but I just think it's unfair Mabel gets more hate than Luz. I feel she's had more character progression compared to the latter and at least she always got called out when she did something wrong and learned from it.

So take all of this with a grain of salt because while I've heard a little of this discourse, I haven't watched a lot of Gravity Falls (recently tried again and found myself not loving the first episode if I'm honest) and have never been a part of its fandom. However, this is a chance to talk about why Luz is so liked and 'relatable' to so many because it is not hard to figure out why people like Luz. Why? Well... A lot of it comes down to framing and how the two shows see the two girls.

Gravity Falls sees Mabel as a tweenage girl.

The Owl House sees Luz as the embodiment of what a teenage nerd wishes they were/could be.

Those are VERY different goals and framing.

One, Mabel, is going to be INCREDIBLY fallible. Neither her or Dipper are anywhere close to perfect people because... Well, they're teenagers. They get way too into certain things. They're awkward when it comes to those obsessions. They're awkward about how to deal with change, consequences, etc. like that because that's just the age they are. They're figuring out the world and are going to run face first into it and that will be awkward, clumsy and often destructive without any sort of excuse besides they didn't think the consequences through. That's kids for you.

The other is... More idealistic. Luz doesn't face real consequences for testing her boundaries and is always bailed out. When she fucks up, she always does it with the best intentions and/or no one actually gets hurt. People coddle her and always make concessions to her desires with minimal push back and always end up on her side unless they're just a REALLY big meanie head. She always makes peoples' lives better, she never gets real criticism or ridicule for her interests and is always accepted by the right people for those interests. Always given more and more for being her quirky self!

A lot of this for Luz is because she's an audience surrogate and TOH wants the audience to feel good about themselves. It knows that a lot of nerds will be the ones watching it and leans in. This is actually contrasted by the fact that, well, Mabel isn't the audience surrogate or the absolute primary character of Gravity Falls. Her role is more complicated versus Dipper who IS the nerdy one who's closer to being the audience surrogate.

Just to really drive this home: People on my Discord have talked about this and one of the biggest 'crimes' as seen by a lot of the fandom is that Mabel causes Dipper to lose out on his dream of researching with Ford and staying in Gravity Falls. I could even see some arguments of things like "He's planning a future!" or "He's making the world better!"

But... Let's shift the framing for a moment from "Mabel caused Dipper to give up on his dream" to "Mabel made sure Dipper chose reality over fantasy." After all, his desire was to throw away his friends, his family, EVERYTHING to just continue hanging out with this one old dude and studying the weird phenomenon of the world, an inherently isolating job. He gets to go on this big adventure and follow his intellectual drive... At the cost of reality and everything he has known.

So why don't people get upset at Dipper for trying to do this? Well, there's a lot of potential reasons that I can't really narrow down without watching the show. It may have just been framed as a positive while Mabel's is framed as negative. It could be that while Mabel's is just a generic, girly fantasy that not much of the core audience actually wants, Dipper's is the cool, smart fantasy that is totally not just a fantasy, but a CAREER. Or it could go back to the root problem: Because Dipper is closer to the audience surrogate, closer to the main character, there is a bias to inherently see his actions as good. We could literally watch two characters do the same thing and we will root for the main character simply because that is who we are trained to root for.

A great example of this from TOH is how Luz is allowed to get mad at people for lying to her but not the other way around. She literally attacks Eda and gets the two captured in Titan, Where Art Thou? because Eda lied to her and she is supposed to feel justified in this anger to make the tragedy angle work. Meanwhile, there is ONE time when anyone gets mad at Luz for lying and honestly, the framing and reactions cause it to end up feeling much more like it was just for a prettier scene change during Reaching Out. After all, Amity still wants to fix Luz's pain before Luz even apologizes for breaking her word by lying. So why doesn't anyone call out the hypocrisy here? Why is NO ONE allowed to get upset with Luz about this?

Because she's the main character. Because we are trained to root for her and, well, Luz also is the one we are told to want to be. She is the every nerd. She is meant to connect to a very wide net of outcasts who feel like they don't belong and wish things were different. Wishes people weren't mean to them or didn't get mad at them when they made mistakes. That just let them be the hero of their own story.

So of course, they don't want Luz to be yelled at, even when that is the actually human and reasonable thing for someone to do. They don't want to question what she does so when the show gives them an excuse, or they have to go to reality if the show itself doesn't give an excuse (This is why people emphasize Luz's age and nuerodivergence to excuse her while bluntly ignoring Mabel's age when it comes to her actions), so that they don't have to recognize that Luz does some REALLY shitty things, especially in the back half of the show. It is simply more convenient for the narrative they want out of the show for Luz to be this way.

And that is okay from a casual standpoint. A lot of fiction is escapist. There's nothing wrong with wanting to jump into a world where you're never actually wrong and never in trouble. Where your angst is always met with hugs and understanding rather than actual human emotion. That's how media works. Most mass appeal products are escapist. It's part of why the Isekai genre is SO prevalent right now because it is one of the purest forms of escapist fiction out there, especially due to modern isekai tropes.

But if you're going to talk critically about something, escapism is very rarely a good jumping off point for it. It will make you ignore a LOT about the work because it's uncomfortable for you to ask questions about it. I'm not talking about "Why does this world have magic" sort of things mind you. I'm talking about, say, "Why does this character get so many power ups, so easily, and with little effort in earning them?" When you want escapism, the pacing won't bother you. If you're actually looking at themes and payoffs, it will bother you a LOT. And yes, this does tie into TOH because if you want to be Luz, getting the glyphs feels great! If you actually interrogate the story, you go "Wait, they hadn't actually done like... ANYTHING with her not having magic in a magical world and she already gets a spell? And two of these spells she does literally nothing for. Arguably three since she is put into timeout as a punishment and gets the glyph I guess for being a bad person." That TOTALLY is good storytelling and makes sense with positive themes and proper explorations of its own ideas.

*sigh*

It's a rough push and pull and it can make it so people, even if they like the show, who disagree with the popular opinion, the one that usually lifts up the audience flattering elements the most, are just in a rough position where they hear the same opinions over and over again. All while knowing that if they speak up, they'll be stomped on.

Just like Mabel was while Dipper was raised into the spotlight. At least by the fandom.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[destinygoldenstar]

Little Preview Of A ‘Kai Deserved Better’ Essay

I have a very interesting history with this character in particular. I watched Ninjago all the time as a kid, I jumped on the train about when Rebooted was premiering. (That's CRAZY to think about, that kids who grew up with the show are now in their high school and college years, me and my sister being examples.) (It's even crazier that now of all times is when Ninjago becomes trending for reaction channels on the Internet. I love it, personally.) And I distinctly remember my opinion on Kai back then.

I hated him. I did not like this guy. I thought he was very egotistical and uncaring and unwilling to see the others perspectives and was a detriment to the team. He was one of my least favorite characters in the show as a kid as a result. 

But my classmates in school (who were boys that I didn't approach or let anyone know I was into this show, because 'this show is for babies' and 'you're a girl why are you watching a boys show') had a debate that I didn't participate in about the show and who their favorite ninja was. They all said Kai. (Except for one guy who was a Zane stan, like me. Maybe I'll do a Zane post too.) I did not understand the Kai appeal at all. Like, what was there to enjoy about a character with very blatant flaws and shortcomings and wasn't a neurodivergent cinnamon roll?

And then I fell out of the show because of the Rebooted finale, and then came back two years later where Tournament of Elements and Possession were already out, and I watched them, and I loved them. And what those seasons did with Kai, where he actually got character development, became less of a jerk to the others, and became oh so relatable all of a sudden to me... I understood the appeal. It REALLY won me over on him.

Looking back at it NOW, I seriously question why I even hated him in the first place, because now everything I hated about him is everything I love about him. 

Iconic 🔥 Fire 👑 King

So you can imagine my stance with his character and what he has become now that the show is over. (The main show, I mean) I still love him. But I do think there's a lot of missed potential with what he could've been. And I know I'm not the only one.

Starting in the Pilots of the show, as a newbie to the realm of Elementals and ninja, Kai was an audience surrogate. We are welcomed into this world of Ninjago along with him, watching as he trained in the monastery to harness his fire, befriending his teammates, and routing for him in his journey to save his sister and later become a hero. Kai was the surrogate character that you would experience the journey of throughout the show, see him grow and change, face hardships and victories, become more competent and capable as the story went on, and embrace the destiny casted upon him as the next Master of Fire.

Except you don’t. 

Turns out the Pilots focus character, the session that started it all, and the ninja that's figure is plastered on so much merch, almost as much as Lloyd, was the one that arguably got the least amount of care and huzzah in the show.

Outside of the Pilots, he’s the only ninja to never be the center character of a season. ALL of his supposed focus seasons are more team season related or tied to someone else. While the other ninja grow and develop and expand their heroism and powers, Kai never grows out of his klutz status. He's the only ninja to never defeat a villain. Every villain he does get, someone else defeats them while Kai is basically useless in these fights. He's the only ninja to never get any sort of alternate form. (If you count Jay becoming a snake that one episode) And... the movie version of this character absolutely rubbed off on him post movie, to the point where it's kind of jarring of the difference. And then, as I said jokingly in another post, he gets sidelined in nearly everything he's ever been involved with. This character is given no moments to shine. Every moment he does get is either overshadowed by someone or something else, or his shining moment becomes useless and undone by the plot. 

I wouldn’t have a problem with this if it wasn’t ONLY Kai getting this treatment. 

But then this post wouldn’t be titled what it is. 

And that's a shame. It's also why many fans of the show, and especially Kai stans, want to see Kai take the spotlight (just like the other ninja did). Because whenever the story IS focused on Kai, he becomes the most interesting and compelling character in the room!

And in case you're wondering, NO, I DON'T blame Lloyd for this. Kai was never supposed to be the long term protagonist, and I think Lloyd getting that role instead was a lot better for the show's story in the long run. Kai does not need to be the protagonist of the show to be an awesome character. But if the other ninja can get their focus seasons that are solely about them, and get W's throughout the show, so can Kai. 

He is not a dumb jock who is a klutz with everything he touches. He is a hardworking loving older brother that you do not want to tick off.

That's the Kai in old fans' hearts, anyway. That's OUR Kai. 

So I wanted to take a deep dive into Kai's character, what made him so compelling in the first place, and how I think the later seasons could've done him justice they did not deliver. 

Cause we got 210 episodes of ranting to utilize. 

(Why I Love Kai)

(Arsenal Klutz Status)

(The Lack Of Backstory)

(That One Soot Filled Twist)

(The Fire Chapter (And Ice to a degree))

(Motivation Out The Window)

(What Now?)

So I said I’d write this, and I will deliver. You guys wanted this from a poll I did. I can revive my character analysis posts! (I did one for Petra MCSM) I call myself AnalyzGolden online because I never shut up. So I can’t promise when the full thing is out, cause I have a LOT I want to say, but other POVs definitely help. The GF who has now finished the show mostly agrees with me.

[broken-clover]

In rewatching Revival!Doctor Who and analyzing it as I go I think part of the reason that Rose Martha and Donna work so well as a conceptual trio of companions is obviously in part because they were written really well but also because they all serve as such excellent counterbalances to the doctor based on where he was as a person when they met him. Once of my favorite parts of my rewatch is seeing all the character interactions and just how starkly the companions differ between the first few seasons because it really speaks a lot both to their characters and the Doctor's.

Rose encounters him fresh off of a war, still mourning a massive loss and guilty for the role he played in it. He's an old man, alone and grieving and implied to have been like that for a while. This is one analysis that I have seen before, Rose bumping into him, young and full of life and uncertain but so willing and eager to see more of the world that it rekindles his passion to explore time and space and show it to someone for the first time. Pretty much all of season one is about showing off how rusty he is about interacting with people and cleaning up the messes his traveling causes, but it's clear that despite Nine's gruffness Rose helped him rediscover his enjoyment of just being around others.

Martha, for all her underrated moments, acted as a sort of well-needed opposite for Rose. Ten was well-known for being very bombastic, very showy, typically in a way that was endearing but sometimes veered into showboating and self-aggrandizing. Rose was never much for telling him to rein it in, because she was often just as caught up in the excitement as he was. Martha comes in slightly older, more confident, detail-minded and an aspiring doctor who can clearly handle herself, not cynical but far more realistic and practical. I think that's a lot of the reason why she's less liked by the fandom, but I also think that's why she works so well as a character and as a companion. Though she ends up harboring a crush similar to Rose, it's not enough to keep her from calling the doctor out when need be, whether he's being reckless or deliberately hiding things from her. For all of his accomplishments, the doctor still needs someone willing to call him out when he's going too far, to (no pun intended) bring him down to earth and remind him of the effect he has on others and to think things through a little more. She's also emotionally intelligent enough to recognize how incompatible they were and leave on her own accord, knowing there was nothing she had to fundamentally change about herself because she was already happy with who she was as a person.

Donna, in a way, acts as a sort of happy medium, less 'major change' and more 'course maintenance.' Though she's passionate about traveling, she still has no trouble in offering her snarky barbs and jabs when she disagrees with something. She's a slightly older career-oriented woman like Martha, but yearning for something more and trying to find fulfillment like Rose. Donna and the doctor feel on very equal footing despite their short time together, because despite her sense of insecurity the doctor does actually listen to her even if it's just the two of them snarking about them something silly. She can cheer him up as easily as she can pull him back. Just a lot of little nudges to make sure he neither loses his enthusiasm nor forgets to think about what he's doing.

All three of them build off of the Doctor's growth as a character during the first few seasons, and I think that's a really interesting progression to watch unfold. All three play an important role with him, and it's a good clear reminder of how important the companions are to the series aside from just acting as an audience surrogate

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Nightingale - a Malevolent fic

A lot of tension.

A heartfelt work.

A new (terrible) way for Arthur to be.

Part of the Surrogate series.

AO3

Note from Trin: All quotes bastardized from Tolkien’s stunning epic poem, The Lay of Leithian, which literally made me fall in love with language when I was a child. I heavily encourage you to check out the posthumously published version, which you can read online here.

---------------------

It had, John thought as he tried to reason through a low and rising panic, begun about a month before. Maybe.

He couldn't be sure. Hadn't really noticed. Had only been annoyed when it happened after practice, or exercise, or magic work. After effort, so of course Arthur was tired and seemed a little out of it.

But now, as they sat in the relentless Carcosan morning, he could not deny the reality before him, limned in golden light: something was wrong. Arthur.

Arthur did not reply. He sat, expression blank in the mirrors, handsome but worn, familiar to John as his own voice. Arthur’s heart beat. He breathed. He wasn’t here. He was strangely un-Arthur-like. Empty.

Like a doll of himself.

It hadn’t happened in the morning before. Arthur.

“Hm?” said Arthur, finally stirring. He tightened his grip on the hairbrush he’d been using when he went quiet and still, and seemed puzzled. “Did I brush my hair yet?”

You stopped halfway through. John would not panic. Panic would not help. John would not panic. Panic would not help.

“Ah.” Arthur resumed, taming his red-gold mess.

Had it been only a month? John couldn't remember. It hadn’t seemed like a big deal when these blank moments started, but now maybe they were because John hadn’t paid close enough attention, and maybe things were going to be really bad because he'd dropped the ball, and what if it was poison or assassins or—

John stopped his train of thought before it could derail. Arthur. I think something’s wrong.

“Oh?” Arthur said a little dreamily, and put the brush down. “Well, shall we?”

Arthur, did you hear me?

“Of course I heard you. Faroe had one of her little meetings this morning. I wonder what stories she’ll tell this time?”

It had been more than a month. Blank spots, building slowly like heat in an oven. Why hadn’t he paid attention? I think we need to see a medimage.

Arthur looked politely puzzled. “Whatever for?”

And therein lay the problem, didn’t it? How the hell could he describe something so undefined it had taken him at least a month to notice? You aren't… acting right. You keep drifting off.

“I'm not sleeping well,” Arthur said reflexively.

You're sleeping deeply, and that’s not it. Listen to me. You’re drifting. Going vague. Unresponsive.

Arthur frowned. “What, I'm passing out?”

No. John sighed. You’re just… going so quiet. Like you’re not even here.

Arthur seemed to be struggling to care. “Well, maybe I need a break.”

That isn’t… damn it, will you listen to me? Something's the matter.

It was already the matter again. Arthur’s attention had faded. He patted John’s hand. “It’ll be all right.”

Arthur!

“Oh, hush. You always get like this before a jubilee.”

I do not. Will you listen to me, you prick?

And the expected banter, the expected doubling down, did not come. Arthur dropped the subject like a napkin forgotten in a lap and fallen, his seventy-three steps to breakfast so ingrained he could do them in his sleep.

And he almost seemed asleep now.

How long? How long had this been happening? John wasn’t sure, and the shame of that soured his whole being like poison in his metaphorical veins.

#

This was not the day Odd expected.

He had a performance that evening: the celebration of Tinúviel, a war-worn Dreamer’s creation of elves and magic and tragic love, and it was one of Odd’s rare chances to show what he could really do to weave music into glory.

(Another chance to show music in the opposite way his biological father did, with meaning, and passion, and full awareness of his audience as fucking people and not props, and he had to question how long it would take, how many times he had to prove this to the only person that cared: himself.)

He’d been prepared for a day of contemplation, practice of trickier passages, careful tuning of instruments (it wasn’t always about being in tune, but just the right amount off to make even Carcosans feel otherworldly), calming his mind and making his path straight. He had not expected Faroe to show up at breakfast as if prepared for war, wearing dark leathers, her hair tied back, and both wooden knives at her hips. (She was growing up so fast—even just in the few weeks now he suspected she grew another half-inch.)

He had not expected Arthur to be absent again—not physically, but in that odd way he’d been of late. Just… physically there, but distant, failing to respond to conversation. (It had been getting worse lately, hadn't it? He didn't seem to zone out quite so much before Odd's ceremony; maybe he had just been too distracted to notice properly.)

He had not expected Hastur to be weirdly clingy, keeping one tentacle around Odd’s ankle from the moment Odd arrived as if expecting him to float away in reckless abandonment. (Oh, the guilt this brought, knowing what he knew in his heart of hearts.)

He had not expected John to be weirdly panicky, demanding Arthur’s attention at all times and growing louder if he didn’t get it. (It baffled him continually that they just didn't get it.)

He hadn’t expected Larson to not show up at all, which, given that asshole’s desperation, probably boded some scheme. (He was relieved. There was enough for him to deal with today.)

One thing was normal today. Parker and Sunny seemed fine. “Well, I think you’re right, and we could make a night of it. Performance, swim, walk under the stars…” Parker was saying, stroking his jaw as one would a lover’s hand. “Might be fun.”

As always, it amazed Odd how Sunny’s voice—identical to Hastur’s—could be so completely distinct. I've heard so many good things about this dream, said Sunny. It’s supposed to be a beautiful tale of immortal and mortal love joining, finding hope in the face of trial. And he sighed. We will weep, and it will be wondrous.

Little shock they’d enjoy the concept so much. Though speaking of Hastur, that grip on his ankle tightened a little. “Arthur,” said Hastur.

Arthur didn’t reply. He didn’t seem to be thinking of anything in particular, but just sat, unfocused, as if he’d lost himself to the horizon.

I told you, John said, tense and tight. Arthur!

“Hm?” Arthur stirred. “What?”

“Is the jubilee ready?” said Hastur.

Arthur blinked at nothing, then looked vaguely in Hastur’s direction. “For when?”

Fuck’s sake, Arthur, John said. It’s due tomorrow night! And yes, it’s ready.

“Oh. That. Yes, yes, I…” Arthur ran his hand through his hair, which seemed to have lost some of its luster. “Sorry. Yes. It’s ready. Don’t worry.”

“Should we worry, though?” Odd said. “Not that I’m one to quibble, but you’re looking a tibble bit peak-ed, my boy.”

“I… I’m just tired,” said Arthur.

You slept, John stated. Even more than usual.

“Your heart is fine,” murmured Hastur, who regularly checked that, and added another tentacle to Odd’s leg. “You ought not be so tired.”

“Well, fuck off, I am,” said Arthur, though it lacked his usual sharpness. “I’m old,” he added.

“You aren’t old,” said Faroe as though Arthur’s mortality was the silliest concept she’d ever encountered.

“Are Dis’ lesson cancelled, as well?” Hastur suddenly said, changing subject without warning.

Odd froze, spoon halfway to his mouth. Lessons? Cancelled? As well?

“Yes,” said Faroe, her brow knit, heavy with consideration. “Though… I’m still free to talk to her, of course.”

Odd blinked rapidly, the shock clear.

“You’re free to spend your time as you like,” said Hastur the control-fiend far too lightly, “unless, of course, that includes placing yourself in harm’s way.”

“I’m not going to do that,” she snapped, and cut into her omelette so hard her plate clinked.

“What’s this about cancelled lessons?” said Parker, mild, investigating.

“My daughter is taking a break from academic pursuits,” said Hastur, perhaps banking on whatever news this was to rouse Arthur.

Parker carefully did not react as he turned back to her. “What, you’re not training with me no more?”

Faroe looked stricken, but only for a moment. “Not currently. I’m sorry, Parker.”

“Hey, no skin off my back,” he said lightly, and looked at Arthur.

They all looked at Arthur.

Arthur, who didn’t seem to have heard any of this.

Odd frowned. Arthur never missed anything when it came to Faroe. “Arthur?”

“Arthur,” said Parker.

“Arthur,” said Hastur.

Arthur! growled John.

“Hm?” said Arthur.

“Your kid’s goin’ truant,” said Parker like it was a great big joke.

“Ugh,” said Faroe, and rolled her eyes.

“Oh?” said Arthur, vague.

Odd put his spoon down.

I told you! John cried. He's not all right!

Hastur added another limb to Odd’s leg. “Arthur?”

“You okay, Lester?” said Parker, softer.

Arthur!

“Yes, I… I’m sorry.” Arthur sighed, seeming to come back down to the mortal plane, and rubbed his face. “I haven’t slept well.”

That’s bullshit. You’ve slept like the fucking dead, said John.

“As all our schedules seem to have changed,” said Hastur, “and Odd’s tribute to the English Dreamer is tonight, we will see the Keeper today.”

“I don’t have time to see the Keeper today,” said Arthur primly. “I need to finish the jubilee.”

“You said it was done,” said Hastur.

Arthur paused.

It is, said John. Fuck.

Arthur rubbed his face again. “Sorry.”

“Perhaps we should go at once,” said Hastur, shifting, adding another tentacle to Odd’s calf. Odd reached down as subtly as he could and pet it, the flesh beneath his fingers trembling.

“No, I’m…” Arthur sighed. “All right, fine. Will you lay off if we go see her now?”

“I will be mollified,” said Hastur, clearly not mollified, his tentacles rising around him like angry solar flares.

“So you’re good with your kid droppin’ out of school?” said Parker, and it finally got through.

“What?” said Arthur, sitting straight up and turning toward her. “She what? You what?”

Nibbles hunched below the table, peeking over with several eyes and a shiver of nervous bark.

Faroe raised her chin. “I’m taking an academic break.”

Arthur looked absolutely horrified. Then he looked stern as all fuck. “No.”

“I have already approved it,” said Hastur, which failed to make anyone happy.

An awful silence gripped the room. (Odd noted it, and the effect it had on his body, and imagined which chords would represent it best. Probably augmented fourths.)

“Dad,” Faroe began.

“No,” said Arthur. “Absolutely not.”

“This is not up to you,” Hastur said. “We have come to a decision.”

But apparently, that wasn’t good enough. Faroe stood, and Nibbles stood with her, at her side and on it. “We did not. I did! This is my choice!”

“I said no!” Arthur said with a scowl.

“Okay, wow,” Parker murmured. “Hey. Everybody roll it back a little.”

Oh, her face.

Odd was of two minds. Half of him (more than half, he told himself) was focused on this little family he’d found, looking for a way to help, looking for the loose knot he could pull to unravel whatever this mess was.

The other half was taking notes.

Faroe was a tapestry of conflict. She was proud and miserable, pleased and shamed. She did not doubt what she was doing, and at the same time regretted it all. Amazing. (Dear gods, she looked like Arthur with that stubborn look.) “I’ve made a decision,” she said.

“I don’t care,” said Arthur. “You’re going to school.”

“I’m not.” She went stiff. “You can’t make me.”

“I am your…” Arthur stopped and inhaled. “You are going to school. You’ll thank me when you’re grown.”

“I already know ten times more than you do!” she snapped.

So apparently, Faroe came wielding more than literal knives this morning. No one moved.

Arthur set his jaw, then buried whatever pain that caused. “Only in certain things. If you drop out now, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

Hastur’s growl was low and frightening. “Arthur. This is not your call to make.”

“It isn’t yours, either!” Faroe cried.

Okay, this had slipped past tense and into terrible. “It’s certainly a bold choice,” said Odd, tone light and sweet and soothing. “How come you made it, Your Highness?”

“Because I…” Faroe looked caught, utterly on the wrong foot (and Odd took notes and hated himself for it). “I’ve decided I must take a path that is my own.”

Well, that was interesting.

Arthur scowled in her direction.

“She will be fine, Arthur,” said Hastur.

Arthur spun on him. “Fucking stay out of this! What do you know?”

“Enough,” Hastur rumbled his reply.

Odd took a breath.“Call me crazy, but I don’t think just arguing with each other is going to do anything for the welfare of the young and brilliant princess? Perhaps there are better ways to do this that won’t result in estrangement and people never writing home except for holidays?”

Arthur immediately looked down as though ashamed. “You’re right,” he said softly. “I won’t make that mistake again.”

(Yikes, Odd thought. That hadn’t been intended to hit quite so close to home.)

Hastur’s sigh was excellent. It completely belied the unnerved quiver of the tentacles still around Odd’s legs; but then, it figured Odd would fall for a god whose acting rivaled his. “It is an acceptable wisdom.”

“Okay, here’s an idea,” said Parker, soothingly stroking his jaw. “How about we all just take a day, eh? Make it like a rest day. No big deal, then, and we can work it all out, and nobody’s missin’ nothing, or being forced into nothin’. It’s all good. Yeah?”

“I just want what’s best for you,” Arthur said quietly to his daughter.

“You don’t know what’s best for me,” said Faroe just a quietly. “Nobody does. Not even me. I have to figure it out, Arthur.”

Arthur. Not dad.

It landed. Arthur ducked his head. His face lost (even more) color.

John growled. Fuck this. Arthur, we’re going to the Keeper.

“We are,” Hastur confirmed.

Arthur sighed. “Fine. Let’s go, then. I'm not hungry, anyway.”

Hastur rose and picked him up, ignoring John’s reflexive growl, and simply left, finally unwinding his grip on Odd’s legs.

Before anyone could say anything to Faroe, she took off with Nibbles at her heels, not running, but definitely in a hurry as she left her plate behind.

Parker sat there, eyes tight.

You were right, Sunny said quietly. He's not okay. You’d said so a week ago. You were right.

“Yeah. Sorry, bud. I know you still don't really like talkin’ about him.”

I… it… it's all right. I guess I just needed to see it for myself, really—I’ve been distracted. He needs help.

Odd propped his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand, and said, “Well, that was a shit-show.”

“Yeah,” said Parker. “Whatever the hell it was. Sucky dress rehearsal, I guess.”

Ah, the joys of a man who understood theater. “Bad rehearsals usually mean a good performance.”

“A memorable one, anyway. Sunny, you still hungry?”

I think I’m all right, Parker. What should we do? Chase after anyone?

“They ain’t ready,” said Parker, standing. “None of them are. So. Let’s go beat up a punching bag, or something.”

An excellent idea. Thank you, Odd, for your assistance.

“I didn’t really do anything,” said Odd, who wished he’d done more, but couldn’t think of how.

You’re indispensable, said Sunny warmly.

“Aw, thanks,” Odd said, grinning genuinely.

Parker grinned, too, though it was muted with concern. “Seeya.” And just like that Odd was alone.

“Wow,” he said to his fork. “What do you think of that, hm?”

The tines had no answer.

“No, you’re right, you’re right,” said Odd. “I should be focusing on tonight’s performance. On the other hand…” He lifted the knife. “Who even would completely ignore this mess and not try to help?”

His knife glinted in the morning light.

“See, you understand me,” said Odd, and with a will, tucked into his breakfast. He was fairly sure Hastur would need some comforting when they came home.

#

The Keeper craned her long neck down, peering through impenetrable veils. “Arthur?”

Arthur didn’t respond. He sat, face turned slightly to the right, relaxed as if half-asleep.

“Like this,” said Hastur. “He’s been like this, and only responds to John.”

“Have you tried through his mark?” she said.

“No,” said Hastur softly. “It is better for John to be the consistent catalyst.”

Right now, John didn't care what the hell Hastur meant by that. Arthur!

“Hm?” said Arthur.

“Hello, Arthur. How are you feeling?” said the Keeper.

“Oh,” said Arthur. “Fine.”

Liar.

“I’m fine, John.”

“You seem to be a bit distracted. Should we step away for a bit of privacy?” said the Keeper delicately.

“No, I’m fine. John, quit it,” he said, shoving his own left hand away from his throat, where it was apparently trying to take a pulse.

“Is it his heart?” said Hastur. “I’ve been monitoring it. I’ve been supporting it. It shouldn’t be misbehaving.”

“No, I do not believe it is his heart,” said the Keeper. “You’ve maintained it well. This appears to be—”

You work him too hard! John said.

Arthur… said nothing.

“Arthur?” said the Keeper.

Nothing.

Hastur’s tentacles drew close to his body, tips twisting, an anxious corkscrewing physicality.

“Oh,” said the Keeper sadly. “I see.”

“Please,” said Hastur. “Help him.”

Arthur.

“Yes?” said Arthur vaguely.

“Could you give us a moment, gentlemen?” said the Keeper. “Hastur and I have something to discuss.”

“Of course,” said Arthur, who may or may not have known what was going on.

Hurry, said John.

The Keeper and Hastur vanished, fading quickly from sight.

John had to keep him present. So. You’re fine about Faroe?

“No, of course I’m not. But he’s right. It’s not my place to make parental demands… no matter how monumentally stupid he’s being.”

This was as close to Arthur’s old combative self he’d been in… a long time. And yes, it was for Faroe, but John didn’t find that offensive anymore. She’s right, you know. She already knows a lot more than you do.

“I’m not the metric here, John, for fuck’s sake. She’s in this entire world of magic and monsters and gods, and she needs to know more. She needs to know thousands of times more. Whatever she knows now can’t be enough.”

He must have a reason for going along with this.

“You’re defending him? You? Him?”

In this, yes. For all his failings—and they are many—he does his best to father her.

“Well, he’s fathering her into a mistake,” Arthur snapped. “Children have stupid ideas. They just do. They don’t know any better; they’re young, immature. Haven’t experienced the world, and have no idea what the consequences of things can be. This isn’t wise!”

John did not mention the consequences they’d all experienced so far. It felt cruel to even think them. I’m sure he’s got a plan. He’s so fucking focused on her, Arthur. Even more than you are. He’s not going to let her hurt herself, for fuck’s sake.

Arthur sighed. He covered his face with his hand. “I know. All right? I know. I just hate feeling…”

John wouldn't let him drift again. Feeling what? Arthur, you've been so strange lately. Feeling what?

“Like a useless parent. But that isn’t… that isn’t really it.”

John’s breathing sped up. What is it, then? What are you feeling?

“Disconnected,” Arthur said quietly. “In between. Interstitial.”

That sounded like a nightmare. What?

“I don't know, John. I just don’t feel like I'm doing any good. Like I'm not even here.”

You are here. Panic would not help. It would not. Arthur would just go stubborn over it and run into a wall, or something. You are here, right now. Arthur, I'm worried about you.

Arthur sighed and rested his hand over John's. “I know. I'm sorry. Listen. We’ve been through stranger and more dangerous things than me daydreaming. We’ll be fine.”

But you're not daydreaming. You sound like you’re losing yourself. Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic…

Arthur paused. “I guess I’m… resting? My mind goes so still, John, like a pond without breeze. Quiet and still, reflecting, silent below. That’s not so bad, is it?”

You say that like it's no big deal to be losing yourself seventy times a day. The isn't natural. Silent and still? You never shut up.

Arthur smiled weakly. “I'm not losing myself, John. Whatever’s going on, we're in good hands. If the Keeper can’t figure it out, then it can’t be figured. All right? ”

John groaned. That isn't as comforting as you seem to think it is.

“Well, that’s your perspective.” Arthur was fading again, growing quieter.

Arthur… I won’t let you die. If that was even what was happening.

“I know,” Arthur murmured, already drifting away.

I won’t let you float away.

“I know,” Arthur whispered.

I won’t let you drown.

Arthur said nothing.

John lay his hand over Arthur's, and wondered how much longer he and Faroe could bring Arthur back.

#

“And how does the mark feel?”

“Faint. Faded. Like paint in the sun; but when I look, it’s unchanged. Odd’s is behaving normally.” Hastur huffed a little.

“Indeed. Which means Arthur’s mark is not changing. He is.”

Well, of course he’d find some weird new way to be as Faroe plunged into rebellion and time grew shorter. “What must I do? How do we fix it?” He needed to just fix it and get back to his pre-death preparations. Why couldn’t everyone just normal for a few short years?

The Keeper was silent for a long moment. “I have a theory, but I will need some tools to verify. I believe he is in no immediate danger. Return to me with him in three days?”

“Would he be safer here?” Hastur hated to ask that. He had so little time left with everyone.

“I do not believe location matters in this circumstance,” she said. “Take him home. Being away from his family in this instance will likely not help.”

“Then we will return. Thank you, as always.” He bowed, limbs all out in grace and gratitude. “I struggle to believe my bartered memory still pays for all of this.”

“Oh, Hastur, it pays that and more,” she said. “You’ve no idea how magnificent it is. No one else has seen what you did, experienced the empty universe as you did, and its cause, and lived to tell about it. Well—no one I care to talk to.” She sniffed.

“Yeah, fuck that guy,” Tabby murmured.

The Keeper talked to everyone, even Cyäegha. Whoever she scorned must be truly awful. “Nevertheless, I feel our books are unbalanced. I would pay more.”

“Dude, chill,” said Tabby. “She said she's good.”

Hastur had long accepted that where the Keeper went, Tabby would be also. “As you wish, chosen one.”

The human made a face. “Can you fuckin’ believe this guy?”

“I look forward to the day your fears finally fade and you may call me friend,” said the Keeper without censure, and opened a way back.

I'm just saying, John was just saying, that if you ask her what’s going on instead of being imperious, you’ll get further. She’s every inch as stubborn as you are. Think about how you respond when someone gets bossy.

“She’s not like that,” Arthur argued.

If someone tells you to turn right, you turn left so hard you smash your own face into the nearest door frame, said John.

“I do not,” Arthur argued more.

Ah, these two; how they manged to turn bickering into an intimate dance remained beyond him. “It is time,” said Hastur.

“Finally,” said Arthur. “We need to go stop our daughter from making a huge mistake.”

Just like her, John declared.

“Oh, shut up.”

And Hastur remembered, not so long ago, reassuring himself that she would not evince the same stubbornness as her biological father, and he’d been wildly wrong, and for some reason, that landed squarely on his funny bone. He laughed like thunder and ringing anvils in the night.

Everyone stared at him.

“And if I tied you down in a classroom,” Hastur chortled, “and surrounded you with teachers I'd armed with subjects you did not wish to study, how quickly would you give in to my will?”

“Never,” said Arthur. “But this isn’t the same—”

Hastur laughed again. He laughed, and golden tears spilled from his eyes and sparkled on his robe, and she was growing so fast, and Arthur would understand her better than anyone when the axe fell and she was alone, and it just figured she’d go stubborn now of all times, and just figured Arthur would go wrong now of all times, and it was all so incredible and so fascinating and he’d study the hell out of it if it were happening to somebody else.

But it wasn’t. And it suddenly hit him: in the middle of all his frantic preparations for their welfare after his death, he hadn't considered just how much he would miss them all in the Dark World.

His laughter turned sharp and ragged. The urge to transition to wails rose like an artesian horror, a surging and drowning grief. He couldn’t break down here, now. He clutched Arthur to his chest and tried to roll a stone of self-control over the torrent.

(He knew that stone would only work for so long, would only force seeping sorrow into the ground and weaken the whole foundation, but it would have to do for now.)

Shocked and awkward silence filled the space his temporary hysteria had carved.

“Oh, dear,” the Keeper said.

“Dude, are you all right?” said Tabby.

How to respond?

Oh these mortals are too much. No, that was too close a reminder of doom.

You wouldn’t understand. No, that would just make everybody prickly.

“No,” Hastur settled, and left, refusing all other queries, even as John’s demands became bellows and Arthur again drifted into vagueness.

#

Unaware of hysteria, Odd prepared to perform.

The Dreamer’s name was John Ronald Reuel, and he'd been in love with the most beautiful girl in the world since he was sixteen. Politics, religion, then war keep them apart, but theirs was a rare love, a true love, not dimmed by distance or distress.

So, wounded and hospitalized far away from home, this young lieutenant wove a tale. A sorrowful triumph of pain and choice, of love’s persistence against odds, of dark gods and brilliant jewels and the trade of immortality for joy. The tale wasn’t even published anywhere; scribbled scraps of it sat in his garage, carried home from battlegrounds, but still the Dreamer dreamed it every night and did not know he wept. It rang in the Dreamlands: Lúthien Tinúviel, the nightingale, for whom flowers bloomed and even wicked gods waited. Who gave up her immortality to be with the human man she loved with all her perfect heart.

The Dreamer (who'd married her, dear reader) was besotted, and it made for great stuff. Joyful and victorious and dangerous and wild, yet tinged with the sorrow of eventual end. For this one, Odd pulled out all the stops: harps and flutes, magical echoes so he could harmonize with himself, and a wide vocal range so he could effectively be all parties.

Hastur, the King in Yellow, was known for inspiring madness and magnificence in the arts, and Odd wasn’t certain how true that was in general, but it sure had worked for him. He was writing and performing better than he ever had in his whole life, and could hardly wait to take it all on the Path again.

The Path called to him. In the mornings it was difficult to rise, like his body had turned to lead. The temptation to merely rot amongst the sheets was growing, and when he did rise he groaned like a man thrice his age. It was getting difficult to keep his head, and though he loved these walls dearly, he could feel them closing in.

Hastur knew. Understood. They’d discussed it. He would, when the time came, let Odd go. It was just so damn strange: for the first time in Odd’s life, part of him wanted to stay.

Leaning against his mithril harp, he strummed long D minor arpeggio that ended on a distant E. It shivered through him, summoning the incredible ache of longing, the inevitability of death and the beautiful delicacy of forbidden passion.

Odd had begun this project thinking of Parker and Sunny, their strange and beautiful connection, the challenge of an immortal god in the body of a mortal man and sharing an intimacy that surely would carry on beyond their end. Well. He had been thinking of them. Now, he was thinking about Hastur.

It wasn’t the same kind of love, no; and the immortal god would be dying first through no fault of his own and leaving the mortal (maybe) behind. The ache still hit home.

Odd smiled bitterly as he sang under his breath. “So fair a god no more shall be from dawn to dusk, from sun to sea. His robe was gold as summer skies, gleaming like his many eyes. His crown was sewn with stars most glim, but dark as evening was his skin. His voice was deep as distant sea, his passion buried deep in me.” And then he laughed at his own silliness and made note of these lyrics for some other, bawdier occasion.

He plucked a little more on his harp, then switched to a lonely, haunting flute made of wood from the home of a widow. Tears spilled as he played; he let them fall, relishing the dampness of his collar, for what was grief but the echo of love’s end?

#

Everyone put aside drama for tonight.

There had been celebrations before of this particular dream, but Odd had not created them, and that alone drew crowds. All of Carcosa knew Odd now, and Hastur ensured the entire population could indulge. Wine flowed; invisible servants flitted between rows serving sweet, edible flowers that somehow tasted of remembrance. Above them all, the looming form of Hastur hovered, approving and monitoring, and he was not alone: to Odd’s surprise, Dagon had joined him—and to Odd’s wonder, Dagon wept.

There was clearly some story there; whatever it was, Dagon had never shared it broadly enough to be known even in rumor, and Odd ached with hope he’d learn it someday.

“It is said,” he intoned, rich and warm and longing as the sky grew dark and his story came to an end, “that Beren and Lúthien returned to the northern lands of Middle-earth, and dwelt together for a time. Those that saw them were both glad and fearful; immortal elves who looked in Lúthien’s eyes read the doom that was written there, and turned away for they knew that a parting beyond the end of the world came near, and no grief of loss would ever be heavier. So Beren and Lúthien went forth alone, fearing neither thirst nor hunger; and they passed beyond the river into a verdant land and dwelt there in the green isle until all tidings of them ceased. No mortal spoke ever again with Beren son of Barahir; and none saw Beren or Lúthien leave the world, or marked where at last their bodies lay.”

His violin rose, weeping with grief and triumph; this love had won, turning the mismatched pair into something impossible and new, and mortality was worth the price.

Parker had gone through four handkerchiefs. John kept wiping Arthur’s eyes. Under Arthur’s arm, Faroe blinked away tears, affected in spite of her youth.

The last chord faded like rising embers flickering to darkness. One moment of rich, satisfied stillness settled on the world.

Hastur rose high, casting his own light like a new sun… and he applauded. Odd’s chosen god applauded, and the entirety of Carcosa followed.

Odd had been lauded before. It wasn’t new. But this felt different. This felt…

Real.

He'd said something incredibly real tonight, weaving the frayed edges of everyone's lives into this shared and true tapestry. He stood and bowed, knowing his own tears caught Hastur’s light like heart-shards on his face.

And he knew, at least for now, that Pan may have never done this—or certainly not since time began. Truth shared, beauty given, honesty and empathy sewn back and forth between him and his audience. In that moment, Odd loved them and was loved in return—people all, not a prop to be found—and knew that when his time was done, when he left the world and no mortal spoke ever again with him, even then, this people, this family, and this god would always be his true home.

#

Wallace leaned against the wall in empty Carcosa, and none saw him exchange a thing with the stranger who passed by.

Both wore hooded cloaks. Both moved in darkness and silence and ill repute. Both left this alley satisfied with their trade.

A tiny book of poems lost behind a shelf and uncatalogued? Well worth the risk.

Wallace didn't really plan to use what he'd received. Not really, not yet. The tools were just in case—just in case he had to act, just in case his safety was threatened. Just in case the Saint and the Scrap at last became too much to bear… and what was on offer in barter for them grew sweeter.

Wallace wasn’t stupid. No one was betraying anyone yet, but part of surviving the plans and politics of gods and their whims was having a just in case. No one said he had to pull the trigger. He still opted for his gun, so to speak, to be locked and loaded with the safety off.

Just. In. Case.