#they should stop casting handsome men to play this role

[fandomxo00]

King Of My Heart - Part 1 - The Wedding - Hugh Jackman fanfiction

You finally get marry the love of your life, Hugh

characters: hugh jackman x plus size!oc!Ainsley

word count: 12.8k

warnings: hugh's kids are in this, using different names tho, pregnant reader, eventually smut, daddy!dom kink, degradation, rough foreplay sex, teasing, oral!F+M, cockwarming ,lots of teasing and foreplay, really leant into this lmao

You didn't think that you were ever going to find love, when you turned 19 you came to that conclusion later on. But then you remained basically single for the next ten years. Focusing on your mental health and career. You knew that you wanted to start a family soon so you maybe have to dive back into the dating pool. You weren't completely single the last ten years, off and on surface-level relationships, then you had friends with benefits. Off and on, Miles truly was just one of your best friends, the two of you stopped having sex after he met his now fiancé, Leilani. It was just a simple conversation that the sex was over, but Miles also taught you about how a woman should be treated, in bed and out of it. 

You grew up reading fanfiction and as you've progressed your writing career, you wrote a lot about sex for a girl that hasn't had a lot of it. You'd let men treat you like shit, and because you wouldn't go in with real expectations of a real-life interaction, you just naively went along. It didn't help that a lot of the men you have slept with have been poor in bed and didn't even care to make you orgasm. With Miles, it was like seeing how many times and the dirtiest way to make each other come. 

Miles was a good man, but you were happy that nothing came of that relationship. Though he did offer to be your sperm donor before he meant Leilani. You just didn't think that would work out now. Little did you know it was all falling into place, when you published your first book. The last thing you expected was for it to get picked up as a movie. You had wormed your way into the production to make sure they didn't mess up the plot or characters. Little did you know you would see Hugh Jackman at the audition. The two main characters weren't any older than you, Erik and Matilda. But you still didn't expect such a well-known actor to show up at the casting of your movie. 

You felt an instant attraction because he was Hugh fucking Jackman coming in to play a man that you wrote as literally the perfect dad and just guy. His character is a big part of the story, as he was a single father but he'd done a lot to try and be closer to Erik. You described the character as attractive in your book, Matilda even thinking he was handsome. Though she chose the younger man to pursue, you don't think you would've. 

Most of the men your age were nothing like precious fictional Erik, and real men like him were few and far between. So, you found yourself wanting an older man all the way back in your early twenties. 

It didn't help that you thought Hugh was gorgeous. The two of you had clicked right away, that beaming smile on his face getting to your heart. When you went home and called Miles you talked about how they were turning your book into an indie film and for some reason, Hugh Jackman wanted a role. He told you that he was now divorced and that you should go for it. You rolled your eyes and scoffed. "Are you nuts?" 

You were also lucky to know that the director was a huge fan of your book, so she wanted to hear all of your ideas, preferences, and directions. You even confessed you wanted to be a director, you just didn't have any experience, "You don't get any experience until someone gives you a chance." That meant you got pretty close with the four main characters, including Erik's brother. Erik's dad was kinda based on your dad, though verily different. The way Hugh embodied the character made you actively blush. At first, you started avoiding him, not excessively but enough that he confronted you. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No! Of course not." You flushed, looking away from him. "I mean I bet you hear this all the time but I kinda have a crush on you." You blurted, letting out a very barely there squeak of humiliation. Avoiding his eyes, you looked around, but Hugh stepped forward, his hand coming to your shoulder. The feeling of his large palm encompassing your skin as his other hand came to your chin. Lifting your eyes to his light hazel ones, the sunlight beaming on him. The faint highlights of his hair, he was growing out his beard and there were gray splotches along his jaw. You never really liked when men had beards but then you met Hugh Jackman. You wanted to feel it everywhere, you flushed at the dirty thoughts that only his touch caused.

"I'd admit I have a bit of a crush even at my age." Hugh grinned over at you, as you couldn't control the giggle that erupted from your mouth, your hand coming up to your mouth as the sides of your eyes crinkled. 

This was just the beginning of your relationship, getting closer together and helping him learn his character. Eventually, towards the end of filming, you finally had sex in his trailer. The two of you had been handsy all day, with hidden touches, secret kisses behind curtains or sets, trying not to get caught. Slowly falling in love with each other, going on press afterward with full tension and fans trying to ship the two of you. At a premiere, Hugh had been seen pretty close to you, his hand going to your back. There were pictures of the two of you looking at each other when the other was looking away. 

You did just a bit of press for the movie, then rolled into the press he had to do for Deadpool and Wolverine, and you went out with him. Ryan was thankful you had gotten Hugh out of the house; he'd been sleeping on his couch for a couple of weeks. He'd been coming to your apartment most nights, the two of us not spending much time apart. Then you went to the Chiefs game with Hugh, Ryan, Blake, and Taylor. The five of you going out after, getting to know celebrities you never thought you'd even talk to. When the reality finally set in for him, you really allowed yourself to trust his people. 

Eventually, the two of you bought a house in upstate New York, and the night you moved in he proposed to you in front of the fireplace sitting in his arms as you sat on the ground with a blanket underneath you. He slipped the ring on your finger before making love to you right there. 

You didn't want a huge wedding, but you did want it to be special. Both you and Hugh came up with a list of people who you wanted to invite, and you'd ask his daughter to be one of your maid of honor and he'd ask his son to be one of his groomsmen. Because you've gotten somewhat close with both of them, they like to come stay at your house in Skaneateles. 

You and Liz, his daughter, had bonded over crafts actually, the two of you didn't have to talk to have a good time together. When Hugh was away for different things, she would turn up to the house. You'd take her out shopping, or making food together. Then she spoke to her dad about wanting to stay at the house more often. So you helped her decorate her room and when you asked her to be your bridesmaid, you couldn't help but cry. You had a very deep connection with your cousin, she always called you her, 'Little', she'd carry you around on her hip in high school and some people thought you were hers. You don't know what your life would be without her. And you saw that in Liz, the two of you having an instant trust with each other. You knew that you were never going to be her mom, but you didn't want to be either.  

Carmen, his son, was a little harder to bond with because he was in his early twenties and his independence was very important to him. In a way that Liz hadn't quite grown into yet. He also didn't want you to replace his mom, which you understood. You had a stepdad that you hated and wished every day that your mom hadn't married him. But you knew that you would pressure it, that you needed to lean off giving any unsolicited advice. You also spoke to Hugh about it, you were trying to not overthink it, and he told you to just be patient. 

Then for Liz's 20th birthday, Hugh took her, Carmen, and you to Disneyland. For the most part, you were able to stay out of the public eye but there were fans, most of them didn't come up to Hugh, he wore a hat and sunglasses, which helped sometimes. He then posted for her birthday with pictures all of you had taken. You'd finally been able to kind of bond with Carmen while standing in line and you let them play heads up with your phone. 

Liz and your older cousin, Cassidy had gone out dress shopping with you, it had taken a while to find the one but when you did, you started crying. She had come over and hugged you, as you wiped the tears away while you looked in the mirror. You never thought this was going to happen to you. You had even mourned the idea of ever getting married, but here you were. A gorgeous meaningful ring that Hugh had chosen perfectly. It was a small oval diamond, a few smaller ones on either side on a golden band. 'Sunshine', the nickname he always called you, was scribed on the inside of the ring. Little did you know the band had 'Jackman' scribed on the inside. You had even picked out his ring, bringing your father's ring to try and find one similar to it but not exact. When you found the right one you just knew. 

The two of you needed to take time out to get a marriage license, you planned on going to the local town clerk, however, you needed a witness. Luckily, Liz was over that week, and she went out with you two to get it. Before going out to eat to celebrate, unfortunately, the paps found you, but Hugh held your leg, trying to calm your anxiety as he rubbed his thumb against your thigh. You struggled to eat when they were around, your anxiety getting the best of you. 

Hugh had been taking time off with the wedding rolling in, the two of you having a lot of sex. The anticipation for the wedding drove the two of you crazy, and you just loved him like crazy. With all the sex you were having you forgot to wrap it up, but you didn't really mind. 

You've talked to him about wanting children of your own because Liz won't need your and Hugh's support forever. Liz had brought her boyfriend over frequently; Hugh couldn't do much because she was an adult. You also told him she needed privacy, having a conversation with her the night before. Hugh loved you on a different level, especially with the way you were his children. You were incredibly patient and the idea of you giving you babies? He already wanted to give you the world, something you wouldn't easily accept. Being very hesitant with money, you just took from everyone and everything, never taking responsibility for your impulsive spending. But one day you cut down, rarely letting anyone loan you money or spend money on you. Except for rare occasions for holidays or birthdays, you didn't ask for much, usually essentials. 

When you met Hugh he let you indulge in spending, giving you a limit on a card for emergencies, that it'll always be loaded with money. You had his and his' assistants' number if you ever needed it. When you brought up your anxiety around money, he'd look into your eyes, his hand coming up to brush your hair away from your face as his shoulder bumped into yours. "Baby, what's mine is yours and what's your-."

"Is mine." You sighed, looking up into his eyes, your knees to your chest as another arm wrapped around you to pull you closer. "I-I just don't want to spend too much and make you feel like I'm using you-sometimes I'm really impulsive so-."

"Baby-." Hugh hushed, his other hand coming up to your jaw as he gazed into your eyes with a dreamy, sweet look in the shades of hazel green eyes. "If we have an issue, we'll talk about it, yeah?"

"God, you know you're a dream boat?" You murmured, as your hand came up to comb through his hair. 

You wound up having a doctor's appointment about a month out from your wedding. What you thought was a simple check-up, which it seemed like the whole time. But then you got a call a couple of hours later because your blood had come back and you were pregnant.

So with only a few weeks to spare, Hugh went Ob-gyn with you. You got to the building, had to pee in a cup to confirm your pregnancy before getting set up in a room, and they went over your medical history. They were able to do an abdominal ultrasound, so you lifted your shirt as the tech put gel on your stomach. You wince slightly as you smile over at Hugh, you are thankful for the blanket you had over half of you, plus the warmth of Hugh's hand on your shoulder. You were in the second month of your pregnancy, or 9 weeks along, so you didn't see much. But a bright smile came over the technician's face as she moved the TV towards you, pointing at the little circle on the screen. The sound of a fast heartbeat started sounding through the room. A very full feeling came over your heart, as you started crying. Hugh moved down to kiss your forehead, a tear of his own, dropping from his eyes. 

You were very focused on the pregnancy the next couple of days before your cousin reminded you about your honeymoon planning. You were going to plan your trip to Colorado, the plan was to be high and hang out in the city but now you agreed to go stay up in the mountains. All you wanted was a comfy place with a good view, and Hugh had found the perfect spot. Being so invested in the pregnancy the wedding was growing closer and closer. Your cousin had stepped in to be your wedding planner, she had done this a few times before. Though she hasn't done it in years, not even wanting to do anything for her own wedding. But she joked that she'd come out of her retirement for her 'toots'. 

When you turned 18, she was your safe place, you grew up in a pretty chaotic environment with an undiagnosed narcissistic mother and a father with undiagnosed autism. Which resulted in your mother cheating and your father getting angry, both of them numbing the pain with alcohol. Something that you decided to stay far away from when you were an adult. Drinking on special occasions and usually never enough to make you drunk. You'd rather be blazed as fuck than drunk. But your cousin also gave you structure, something you crave, helping you in every way she can, even to the point where she pushed herself too hard. The two of you coming together to set boundaries and grow closer. 

Before you knew it your wedding was here, the day before the wedding was the rehearsal day. Your house was filled with guests, your bridal party, and some friends. Your best friend came up to hang out with you in the morning, and Liz and your cousin went for coffee. You got ready for rehearsal dinner; you didn't really have to do much more until 3 when people started arriving. You were going to chill, take your time, and just spend time with the ones you love. You were so happy to see your dad and his wife arrive. You were 19 when you cut your mom off and never came to a point where you wanted her around. But you still sent her an invite, knowing that even though you weren't on good terms, you wanted your mom here. She would never be a part of your life in the way you wanted because of her toxic behavior, but she still meant the world to you. You wanted to hug her and see her, it'd been over ten years. So when your mom walked through the doors, tears came to your eyes. A bright smile covered her face, her brown eyes always reminded you of your own. You'd always thought you looked so much like your mom. 

All of your siblings had arrived, they had also met Hugh two Christmass' ago. Hugh paid for your family to come, it wasn't what you expected, that was the moment you knew you were going to marry him, even that early in the relationship. You always wanted to host and also wanted to bring your half-oldest brother, his wife, your sister, Hailey, and her husband. 

You were so happy to see everyone, greeting Hugh's close family members you met over the holidays. You were not the social type so not having to be constantly greeting everyone was a lot, eventually, Hugh took over as you retreated to go take a breather. "God, I need a hydroxyzine."

"Got one for ya." Your cousin said, handing you one as you grabbed your water and drank. You breathed out as you sat down in your rehearsal dress as Hugh came in shortly after to check on you. Coming to sit next to you on the couch, his hands coming to yours as he looked down into your eyes.

"We got this, yeah?" He murmured, you smiled over at him, all of the anxiety meant nothing while you were looking into his eyes. Your hand came up to move in close and kiss him. 

"I love you."

"Love you sunshine, so much." Hugh breathed as he kissed your cheek. 

You were trying not to cry as you watched your cousin set everything up, directing everyone to their places. Coming down by the lake to the setup of the arch, you were facing the trees but if you turned your head to the left, you'd see the shiny blue water. Hugh's hand rested on your back as you looked at the view that you'd hopefully look at the rest of your life with this man. You felt tears come to your eyes at the happiness you felt, your hand reaching up for Hugh's face, he had a twinkle in his eyes, his face stuck in a small grin as you gazed down at you. 

The two of you worked with your cousin to place everyone, later in the day, Hugh's best friends showed up. The two of you practiced walking down the aisle and then Ryan and Liz, your other best friend and Miles, your cousin and one of Hugh's brothers, his other brother, Ian paired with your sister-in-law, and Carmen with your sister. You pretended to do your vows, and he scooped you up in his arms, kissing you, as you giggled against his mouth. Your cheeks warming, it was hard to be in front of so many people. But you loved them all and felt relief in that as you put your arms around his shoulders, he gazed down at you with those glowing eyes that made butterflies flutter in your stomach. 

After the rehearsal, the two of you snuck off while everyone got food from inside. Hugh's lips were on yours so fast when you got behind the door of your room. His hands skimming down your waist, feeling your curves underneath his fingers made him growl. He pulled you tightly to him as his hands skimmed under your dress and felt your panties underneath. You moaned into his mouth, wanting him so bad, he ground himself against you. His tongue was hot in your mouth as it fought for dominance. You melted in your fiance's arm, as he pulled away from your breathless, his hands sliding back up to your waist. You giggled as you looked up at your smeared lipstick on his mouth, your finger coming up to wipe at the red. Hugh's lips puckered to kiss the tips of his fingers as his eyes, now a shade of almost mossy green, the light brown still shining in his eyes. 

"Are you doing alright?" Hugh pressed, leaning into your neck and kissing above your pulse point. Your hands going to his back to feel his muscles as you smiled up at him. 

"Overwhelmed, but a good overwhelmed." You admitted as he grinned down at you, his hand coming to move your dark hair away from your face. "How are you doing lovebug." You breathed, his fond smile still on his face. 

"Just worried about you." He hummed, pulling you back into him as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Hugh's familiar orangey and woodsy scent that always reminded you of him. He even kept a bottle of his cologne at home for when he was away traveling so you could spray it on his shirts or sweatshirts. "Also want you so much." Hugh gruffed, leaning down to put his lips on yours. You grinned up at him as you brought your hand down to his pants, his bulge beginning to harden.  You were as hungry for him as he was for you, haven't felt his naked body in yours in a month. Just the feeling of his cock underneath your hand made you wet. 

Hugh groaned lightly as his head came to your neck, his hips leaned into your hand as his hand came down to cup your core through your panties. The intrusion was unexpected but he felt how hot you were against his hand. "Fuck me." Hugh breathed as you licked your lips coming to kiss his lips.

"Gotta wait baby." You teased, against his lips as you felt his cock harden completely under your touch. "W-want your cock so bad." You stuttered over your words, as he applied pressure to your clit, massaging your pussy. 

"Shut up," Hugh grunted, playfulness in his tone, as his lips met yours in a bruising kiss. You knew your words were getting to him, as you moaned into his lips and bucked into his hand. The two of you pulled away from each other, the last of your restraint coming out as you giggled up at him. A toothy, dopey smile that he sent your way, which made you melt as you leant in to hug him again. Whispering how much you meant to each other, making sure you both looked presentable before going back to join everyone for dinner. 

Everyone slowly started leaving throughout the night before just the bridal party was left. Your brother included as he was going to be officiating the wedding and other people's partners. Taylor and Travis taking the kids for the night. You'd been really close with him growing up, the two of you were kind of close in age but he always made sure to hang out with you. All of you came together to play some board games, the mixture of people made for a hilarious heartwarming night with all of the people who meant so much to you. Hugh stood up at the end of the night, his hand coming to his stomach as he put a hand behind your chair. 

"I want to thank all of you for being a part of this day for us. I know how much this means to Ainsley, to have all of her people together and have a good time. This woman deserves the world." His eyes meet yours, as you wrinkle your nose in an attempt to stop crying, "Ainsley, you are a brilliant creative woman who stole my heart from the moment I met you."

You felt tears in your eyes as your hand came to the hand on the back of the chair, grasping his fingers and palm as he sat back down. Hugh leant in to lightly kiss your lips as you grinned over at him. The two of you had to separate, the guys leaving for the night as the girls stayed at the house. Hugh left giving you a kiss, his hand lingering on yours pulling your hand with his as he walked backward and mouthing that he loved you. 

The night was filled with rom-coms, fun bridal games, and a lot of everyone drinking. Liz wanted to drink a little, but she mostly stayed sober with you. Though for your anxiety you put some CBD drops under your tongue, or you would absolutely not sleep tonight. One you were pregnant it was already hard to be comfortable and two you didn't have Hugh. You used to have sleeping meds, but you didn't want to take too many medications because of the baby. So you cut down on a lot of them but also stepped away from the stress of your job for now. Right now, you wanted to focus on your family, you would take time for yourself when needed, and would always take time to write for your next book, but it was a choice to focus here on home. So, there was no real deadline or much to do. 

The next morning, your cousin had gone out with Liz and gotten breakfast and coffee, similar to the morning before. You were anxious to see Hugh, and received a text from him, like he knew you needed to hear from him. 'Good morning, my love, I don't know what made you wait for a guy like me, but I'm grateful that no one stole your heart before I could. I can't wait to marry you today, this is just the beginning baby.' You grinned down at his words, trying not to cry already, before deciding to tease your future husband. 

You sent a picture of your wedding lingerie, posing in the mirror so the curve of your ass was in the picture with the sides of the panties lifting over your hips and love handles. The bra was supposed to lift up your breasts, it also helped that you had larger breasts that looked like they were going to almost pop out with how tight you had the back clipped. You sent the picture with a little red heart and 'I love you'. You didn't let him see your face in the picture and you knew that always irked him in nudes. He wanted to see your face in pictures or just didn't do it for him completely. You laugh down at your phone as he sends an 'Oh my god, on my knees for ya baby.' 

Then you loosened the bra before putting on your clothes for the morning, a cute little satin two-piece with 'bride' on the side. The morning was verily relaxing, there wasn't much to do before everyone got there, a lot of work was done. The rest of it got done by your cousin's friends, and you went out to see them. Looking around your backyard that was completely done. You'd grown up with your cousin's college friends, you remember them at your cousin's wedding. You felt so grateful that they came all this way to help you out, though you helped finance it with your own money. You didn't mind, you didn't have to finance a lot for this wedding, Hugh covered most of the guests, but the college friends were something you wanted for yourself. Seeing them on this day was special to you, but also tried to pay for your families as well. Trying as much to pay for things where you could, you didn't have the amount of money Hugh had, but you were comfortable and willing. He'd wound up paying for a lot of the wedding and it was hard for you to not feel guilty. But he also let you know it wasn't a lot of money, affirming that it was a small wedding. 

Yesterday, the only people who were here were parents, close extended family, or a part of the bridal party. But the rest of your families and friends came, though you kept the guest list under 70 people. 

You sat outside at the back of the house, as you were talking to them. You've changed so much since the last time you really saw all of them together. You were a complete nervous wreck most of the time, even medicated. But now you were a strong, free woman who openly expressed how she felt. Something you don't think you could've done without your cousin. "Ainsley go downstairs!"

"Why?" You laughed, turning towards Liz, who had been with her father this morning. "Oh, are they here?"

"Yes!!" Ryan greeted, walking through the house and walking over to you. Your cousin's friends knew about your more high-profile life but being confronted with Ryan Reynolds was still a lot. The fact that you were marrying Hugh Jackman had to be a weird thing to come to terms with. Very unexpected especially since you were twenty years younger than him. "How's everyone doing?" He asked, slinging an arm around you. 

"Good!" You chirped as he started dragging you away. 

"Got to hide the treasure before he finds it! It's not time!" Ryan joked as you rolled your eyes at your obnoxious friend before sneaking in, as Ryan went inside. You looked over the corner of the wall, to see your handsome fiancé standing tall at the kitchen island. A toothy smile covered his face as he spoke to your dad. You giggled as you moved back before scurrying down the hall and going upstairs to get ready. You were trying to look for your cousin to no avail, she was supposed to do your hair. 

But you made your way to the bathroom to see that your best friend and Hailey had transformed your bathroom. It had big lights by the mirrors decorated in pink and white with makeup and hair supplies on the counter. Your wedding dress hung up in the corner. Liz was still with her dad from what you knew, she didn't need to get her makeup done yet; you were planning on helping her with it though. Eventually, your cousin found you, a mischievous smile on her face but tears glistening in her eyes as she came over to hug you. "What's going on?" You laughed, as she handed you the phone.

"Just so happy for you, toots." She grinned. That's when she showed you the video that Hugh and your cousin had made you. It seemed to only be the two of them, that's where she was? But before you could think too hard, you saw your handsome future husband in his black and white suit, his head tilted to the side as he smiled at the screen. "Okay, Hugh, I'm going to ask you some questions, are you ready?" Her voice was off-screen. 

"Okay, yes go for it." He clapped his hands together. 

"What are your thoughts? How are you feeling?" Your cousin asked as Hugh shrugged with a dimpled smile on his face as his hand came to his heart.

"I'm just extremely happy, slightly nervous that I'll mess this day up for Ainzy." He smiled at the childhood nickname that he pulled out, "I just hope this day is everything to her, and she chose me to marry me? It means the world to me."

"Good answer." She laughed, "What's the thing you love the most about Ainsley?"

"God,-." He huffed out a laugh, his hand came up to his mouth, and went into deep thought. "First thing that comes to mind is her humor, she's so funny and just beautiful. Also love to see her creative mind, working with that woman was an honor. It's the reason why I fell in love with her, she's been a strong presence since the moment I met her-." He rambled, as his cheeks lightly flushed, a soft chuckle falling from his mouth. You heard a sniffle on the other side of the screen as tears rose to your eyes. "She's always thinking about ways to better herself and the others around her, she just cares so much. Never met a woman like her before."

"God, stop, you're gonna make me cry." Your cousin's voice cracked, as you reached for her hand, your bottom lip coming into your mouth as you saw the bright smile come over Hugh's face. 

"What are you most excited for in this marriage?"

"Our love." Hugh started, smiling over at her, "She just has so much love in her, I can't wait to be with her for the rest of my life and see her with our child."

"Your child?" She choked.

"Yeah, she's pregnant." Hugh grinned over at her, and you heard an 'oh', before the phone the camera was moved around as she went in to hug him, before moving back, her voice scratchy. 

"Any last words?"

"I just love you so much sunshine, whatta think Y/C/N?"

You were happy that they hadn't really started on your makeup yet, as tears streamed down your face. 

"I don't think I've ever seen her happier, Hugh." She replied before the video shut off. 

"Oh my god!" Your best friend squealed, as she hugged you. You looked over at your cousin with a fond smile as your sister came in to congratulate you. 

"Supposed to not make me cry." You breathed out shakily, as your cousin brought a tissue up to her eyes to stop the makeup from running. As you are getting your makeup and hair done you blast Mamma Mia soundtrack music while everyone else gets ready in the large upstairs bathroom and your bedroom connected. 

Liz came to join you after your hair and makeup was done, so you let her sit in your chair, and you did her makeup while talking to her. "Dad told me about the baby." She grinned up at you as you smiled, nerves flashing in your eyes.

"You're okay with that?"

"You two really deserve it, Ainsley." Liz smiled over at you, as she tried not to cry, as you tilted your head at the girl. 

"You remind me so much of me at your age." You breathed; you couldn't stop smiling at the young girl who was about to be your stepdaughter. "Ya know, I couldn't be more honored to be your stepmom. I don't ever want to replace your mom, but I want you to know you can come to me if you need anything. You or your brother, I love you both so much." 

"We love you too, Ains." Liz assured as she leaned in to hug you, you gave her a soft squeeze before finishing up her makeup before curling her hair. 

The morning was going incredibly fast, like it was flying by, you were a bucket of hormonal emotions. You mind kept going to Hugh, you wondered how is morning was, if he was missing you the way you were missing him. 

When you saw your dad, you felt your lip wobble as you saw tears come to his eyes. "My little girl." He breathed, coming forward to hug you. 

"Thank you." You sighed.

"For what?" He chuckled.

"For always showing me what a good man looks like, even when you struggled. You were always such a good man and a good father." You said as you looked over at him. 

"You've grown up so much, I'm so proud of you sweetheart."

"Thank you dad." You sniffled. 

The two of you spoke for a couple more minutes before it was time to have the first look with Hugh. It had meant so much to you, when he stood down the hallway. You watched as his eyebrows furrowed, his jaw clenching as he swallowed back tears. You couldn't help the smile on your face as he moved over to you in quick strides. 

His hands came to your jaw, cupping your cheeks as he lightly pressed his lips to yours. "You are so beautiful." He choked, smiling down at you, his eyes running all over your dress, to your chest that your grandma's pearl necklace and your "H" initial necklace. Your hand came up to his face as you gazed up at him. 

"I'm marrying you." You laughed.

"Yeah, you are." Hugh smiled, his green eyes sparkling, as your heart pumped hard against your chest. His hand came to your stomach, as he lightly kissed your lips again. You felt tears rise up in your eyes, as his hand came to your cheek, his pointer finger lightly brushing against your cheekbone. Some of your highlighter coming off on his finger, just the tiniest bit. "Ainsley, you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid my eyes upon. I love you more than words can describe. Hopefully, I can show you that for the rest of our lives." 

"Suppose to save your vows." You pouted as you tilted your head back to keep in the tears, Hugh just chuckled. You looked over to see Liz taking pictures of the two of you. His hand comes up to the your 'H' necklace, putting it between his two fingers as he gazed down at you. "You are the perfect model, aren't you?" That caused a smile to break out over Hugh's face, his crow feet wrinkling at the sides of his eyes. You can't help but move your hand up to his face. He leaned into your hand as you gazed into his eyes. "Now you gotta get shirtless." You whispered, leaning into his ear, as he laughed. Hugh's strong arms wrapped around you easily, as he tugged you into him as he gave you that adorable tight lip smile, your fingers moving over his smile lines. 

"We're gonna have to get real pictures soon." Hugh sighed, leaning in to kiss the side of your face. He's watched you put on makeup several times to know that you didn't put foundation on, so he knew where to kiss. You giggled as your hand ran through his hair as a wobbly smile came on your face.

"Messin' up your hair." You squeaked. 

"You know I don't mind."

"Now even for a photoshoot?" You teased.

"It's our wedding, Ainsley." Hugh huffed out laughter, as he moved in to softly kiss your lips before letting you go. You know that he didn't want to, but you never pulled away first so eventually he had to. 

You grabbed Hugh's hand as you went out of the house to see your cousin, your brother's family hanging around the front. You went out to see your cousin who had been busy with final touches, telling her that you were ready for pictures. You were going to do the pre-ceremony pictures with her but after the ceremony, Hugh had hired an expensive photographer of his choice. Then you walked over to him to make sure everything was going well on your brother's front. "Thank you for doing this." You smiled over at your brother, as you hugged him. Hugh went in for a friendly handshake, as your brother nodded to him. Your eyes landed on your blue-eyed niece with a soft grin. Last night, they had gotten a babysitter for their baby, but you were so happy to see her here. 

She was in the same dress that your cousin used for her niece at her wedding. It was made up of your grandma's wedding dress, and she had lent it to Hailey for her wedding, and now yours. You put your niece to your hip as you grinned down at her. Your cousin moved over to take pictures, as Hugh's hand came to your back as he leaned in to say 'Hi' to her. Eventually, you had to hand her back, she was your flower girl so you would see her soon. But your cousin whisked the two of you off to do some pictures by the water. 

You always enjoyed taking pictures with your cousin, she did your senior photos and has been taking pictures professionally since high school. Hugh was as charming as ever and your cousin had complimented how photogenic Hugh was. He goes to dip you, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as you grin up at him. He leans down to kiss your lips before pulling you back up, keeping his arms around you. "I love you." Hugh leaned into your ear and whispered, as you grinned before bringing your hand up to his cheek as you kissed his lips. 

"Gonna have to reapply my lipstick."

"Oh well." Hugh breathed, smiling against your lips as your chest shook with laughter. Before his head moved to tuck into your neck he pulled you closer. Your hands went to the back of his head feeling the hair as he held you. He was really big on physical contact, something you had to get used to. But one day he just became your most trusted person, your favorite person, his touch was always soothing. 

"My lovebug." You giggled into his ear, Hugh felt his chest warm at the sound of your giggling, it went straight to his heart. Breathing in his favorite perfume that you wore, as his hands splayed on your back. He loved the material of this dress, and he so badly wanted to take it off of you. 

You finished the pictures before going back into the house as the guests arrived and went right to the backyard through the side of the house. Your bridal party was with you inside of the house but everyone else had been seated. You started feeling slightly dizzy, and your heart began to race, this was the most important day of your life, and you were allowed to have some nerves. You sat down and drank some water before reapplying and retouching your makeup. Hugh sat next to you rubbing your back, as your hand came to his, slotting your fingers together. "Just a lot of people." 

"I know, baby," Hugh murmured, kissing your hair as he rubbed at your back. Your cousin came to put your veil into your hair, as she grabbed a curl and tightened it around her finger. You grinned over at you before getting up, Hugh squeezing your hand before going out to the back doors. You started getting ready to walk down the aisle, listening to 'Kacey Musgraves Love Is A Wild Thing, as you focused on your breathing trying not to overthink. Your dad came in, as you two started chatting back and forth until it got to the bridge, the two of you walking out with your arm looped through his.

You felt a lump form in your throat as your eyes met Hugh, the reality that you were marrying this man, the love of your life, right now. You really couldn't feel any happier than in this man’s periphery. He had the softest look on his face, before his nose flared as he tilted his head, a wobbly smile on his lips. You could see the emotion on his face, you never thought you would feel this loved by another person. Hugh's love was written all over his face, something that he showed you almost every night.

You didn't have sex every night, but you were intimate together. Focusing solely on other's bodies, learning every sensitive spot, kissing every dip and freckle. Trusting each other in ways you'd never trusted another person before. You had never gone bare with anyone before him, something you did later in the relationship. Never let a partner stay inside of you after you have sex, or hold you the way he does. As close as he could possibly be, doing whatever he pleased with your body. You started experimenting with different toys, different ways to pleasure each other, and find what drives the other crazy. 

But now with him standing in front of you, love is emitting in the air between you as your dad handed you off to Hugh. You kissed your dad's cheek before Hugh led you to stand in front of him, his hand coming into yours after you handed off your bouquet to Liz. You glanced over at your brother with a fond smile, as the music ended. 

Your brother begins his speech, "Hello and welcome! We're here today because Hugh and Ainsley have decided they love each other so much that they want to get the government involved! But again, thanks to all who have joined us today, I know that every one who is here today is very important to both the bride and groom." He clears his throat, as you smile over at Hugh. "Growing up I always wanted to protect Ainsley, we always had a very close relationship, and I knew that whoever was going to end up with my sister needed to be a good guy. Little did I know when you said you were bringing your new boyfriend that you'd be bringing home the wolverine." Hugh chuckled, along with the crowd, a smile curving your face. "All jokes aside, I should have known you'd find a superhero to fall in love with. The moment I knew that you were going to wound up with his guy was when you said. "Yes, he's a superhero, but I don't need him to save me, I just want to be by his side no matter what happens." Because that is what love is, it's growing together, forgiving each other even if you hate each other, and coming together. At the end of the day, you love each other, and you promised you'd always be by each other’s side."

The two of you promised yourselves to each other, before getting the opportunity to recite your vows, Hugh got to start, "I'm going to start off with a story of when I first met Ainsley. If you didn't know we met on the set of her movie and from the moment I walked into that audition I felt your strong presence. You've always been a force to reckon with and I didn't like to admit that but you captivated me in a way I had never felt before. I'm a 50-something-year-old divorced man, with a career that was slowing and a status that was waning. I didn't want to do the movie at first, so I went to the audition to see the script in action just to meet you. Seeing your vision come to life became my passion, to see what you spoke about so vehemently on the big screen, come to life. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with you because your creative talent was something anyone would want to witness. It also helped that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. As cheesy and repetitive as that sounds, there is a type of beauty that only your kind, creative, observant soul emits. The only type of beauty that I can associate with your eyes and your name. The type of beauty that got me to do an indie romance movie this late into my career." You laughed as tears clouded your vision, your handkerchief from your cousin’s wedding, a beautiful blue, purple, and green peacock on the fabric. You brought up the material to dab at your eyes. "I've said this many times but you are my world, wanting to make you happy and see you thrive has become my number one goal. My career used to come first, one of the things I was most passionate about. But when you walked into my life you showed me what I was missing, I started only being able to picture you as my future and started seeing you in the tiniest details of my life. I couldn't have asked for a better partner, someone who took the time to get to know my kids, even without me asking. This woman spent hours trying to come up with the best way to connect my children, she asked my advice and showed the type of patience I could only wish I had. You care so deeply about others and show me the love I deserve. Our love is the type that consumes us but somehow stabilizes and grounds us as well. I know from the beginning you told me you didn't need a man in your life, you could be by yourself and be content. But that you chose me, you chose to shove past all of your fears to come into my arms. And my love, my sunshine, my Ainsley, I can't thank you enough for choosing me and I want to spend the rest of our lives showing you why you chose me." 

"Thank you, Hugh. Ainsley, have you prepared your vows?"

"I have." Your voice shook, as you cleared your throat before opening up the paper. You don't know how Hugh managed to recite that but it warmed your heart to know he took it so seriously and said the sweetest heartfelt words that made it impossible to not cry. "I um, I never wanted to fit into the patriarchal idea of marriage, and giving away your last name for someone else. I didn't think that the love I deserved was going to happen for me, not because I didn't deserve it but because it was so specific. People told me to lower my standards and conform, but I held strong and eventually thought I was going to end up alone. But I found you." Your voice wobbled, as a tear came down to your cheek as you looked up at Hugh, his green eyes shimmering as he squeezed your hand. "You know that feeling you get when you've made a final decision, cut and dry so easily was what I thought my future was. I thought I was going to be alone. Then you did everything, you filled in the gaps and checked all of my boxes. Even when you couldn't, you'd walk in head first and you asked me what I needed and never hesitated to give it to me. Your love is the type of thing that heals so many wounds because all of my trauma can be shut down by saying I did find the love of my life. I did find the right guy, I did hold out for my hero. I found a man who I trust to love me for the rest of my life and someone I can so easily love. Because Hugh, that is what you are and always have been. You are just so so easy to love, it's nuts. You are ridiculously funny, charming, and kind. You constantly put others in front of you and you never ask for anything in return. You constantly held my hand in the darkness and reminded me that I wasn't alone. You held the door open in your life and welcomed me through the front door. Ever since I have felt at home in your arms," Your voice breaks, as you try to take a deep breath. "I have never felt safer with anyone or anything, the way I feel with you. The way you show me every day that you are my safe haven, my hope, and everything that I could've ever wished for. Hugh, I don't think I'm very good at this but lovebug, I love you so much. In a way that I could never possibly write, paint, or create. The type of love that can only be shown through time, grace, and passion. The type of love that we hold between us and that we will continue to spread in our future.” You looked up into Hugh’s eyes as you finished, his fingers squeezing yours as he looked down at you with glassy orbs. 

"Thank you, both great displays of your love. Ainsley and Hugh, are you two ready to get married?

"Yes please." You murmured as Hugh breathed out a, "yes.", 

"Do you take one another as partners from this day forward?"

"We do." You and Hugh spoke together as you gazed into his deep brown eyes, a shine of green reflecting in his orbs with a fog of almost beige, brown. His frown lines dipped as he held a serious look in his eyes, your fingers itching to feel his smile lines against your thumb. Your eyes trace the curve of his nose to the barely-there dusting of freckles. 

"Will you love, honor, and cherish one another as partners for the rest of your lives?"

"We will." You repeat as you feel a smile line your face, as you squeeze Hugh's hands. 

"Hugh and Ainsley have chosen these rings as a symbol of their unbreakable love. Please place these rings on each other's fingers and repeat after me." Your brother began, as Ryan's son waddled over to you with the rings. 

"Thank you bub." Hugh grinned down at him, before standing up and handing you his ring. You felt your eyebrows furrow as you tried not to cry, as Hugh took your hand. 

"I give you this ring as a reminder of our love, safety, authenticity, and trust." Your brother started as Hugh gazed down at you, his eyebrows dipping as his eyes flicked back and forth from yours. His warm hand encompassed yours as you pointed your ring finger at him as he looked into your eyes with passion and repeated your brother's words.

"I give you this ring as a reminder of our love, safety, authenticity, and trust." And Hugh gives you his hand, your other hand holding it as you repeat the words before sliding the golden ring on Hugh's ring finger. 

"By the authority vested in me, it is with joy that I pronounce you married. Family and Friends I present to you, Mrs. and Mr. Jackman!"

Hugh scoops you up in his arms as your ring-clad hand comes up to his jaw and his lips smash against yours. You smiled against his lips before giggling in joy as you parted, your hands coming together as he pulled you back to lightly kiss your lips again. Your hands clasped together as he raised your hands into the air, making you laugh as you looked over at your husband. ‘Can't take my eyes off of you’ by Frankie Valli started playing as Hugh forced you to dance down the aisle. Your cheeks flamed before you got back inside of the house. Hugh wrapped his around you the sound of his booming laughter making your chest feel warm, as he kissed the top of your head. "We're married, baby."

"God I love you so much." You cried, your arms slinging around his broad shoulders as his arms went to your back and tugged you in closer as his lips fell on top of yours. 

"I love you," Hugh mumbled against your lips, as Liz and Ryan came in after you.

"C'mon let's make it official love birds." Ryan ushered, slinging an arm around Liz as Hugh led the three of you to the reading room where you had kept your marriage license on your desk. Your brother walked in shortly after and you walked over to hug him.

"You did so good! Thank you."

"No problem, Ainsley." Your brother replied, patting your back as you moved back as he came to sign his part. "Okay you guys sign this and your witnesses and it's official."

Liz and Ryan signed their names first before you and Hugh did your own, signing your name Ainsley Jackman. Your hand came over Hugh's as he handed the license to your problem. "We're gonna drop Y/N/N, off at home and go get this to the courthouse, we'll be back."

"Grab some food before you go," Hugh suggested, as your hand came to his forearm and you looked up at him, your hands coming to rest on his stomach. Your brother left, as Hugh glanced down into your eyes he saw the look in your eyes. You needed to be alone. "Why don't you go out, Ryan led them to the dining area."

"Yes sir." Ryan huffed, as Liz grinned over at the two of you before walking out. Hugh's arms wrapped around your thighs as he sat down on your loveseat. Pushing your dress up so it was looser around your hips, as your hands came to his chest. His hands came to grip your hands as his lips landed on yours. Then you moved your head into his neck as he pulled you in closer. The sound of his heart beating against your ear. You had planned a break between the ceremony and the dinner, your cousin and her husband were supposed to take your food and bring it in. You would go back for dessert, cut the cake, and socialize with everyone. 

But after all the social interaction you needed time alone with your new husband. The smell of his woodsy cologne fills your senses as your hand comes up to thread through his hair. Hugh's nose pressed against your neck, as you felt his eyes flutter shut against your skin. One of his hands rubbed up and down your back, as you held each other close. Little murmurs about how much you love each other go back between the two of you. Your eyes almost grow tired as the door opens and your cousin comes in. "Hey, love birds!" She greeted, setting down one of your plates and cups. Her husband is doing the same, nodding over at you. 

"Congrats Ainsley."

"Thank you." You smiled over at him as you moved off of Hugh's lap. The two of you go over to grab your plates before sitting on the couch together, pulling a table over to you, that hangs over the couch. The two of you chatted back and forth, your hands kept reaching over to touch each other. Or wanting to try something on each other's plate. You're giving each other excuses to reach over the table and kiss. 

When you're done with your dinner you walk back out, everyone cheering for you and making you blush. Everyone grabs their wine glasses and taps their knives against it. You giggle your hand coming to your mouth as Hugh's left arm comes to your waist, pulling you in to smash your lips together. When he moves back, he gives you a soft smile, as he leads you to the front of the room. The dinner and reception go back in a flash, full of dancing, and singing. Right before the dancing, Hugh serenaded you with 'All Of Me' by John Legend, a song that you now deemed as your song. You weren't sure where you were sleeping tonight, Hugh was keeping that a secret. Before you knew it, you were drunk off the happiness, love, and excitement. You were shocked when there was a limo waiting for you. "They're going to keep the window closed," Hugh whispered in your ear, as you walked out of the house. 

The night twinged your nose as Hugh carried your bags over your shoulders. The rest of your suitcase all packed up in the back. You smiled at the fact that he had to set this all up for you, keeping a secret. You still didn't know where you were going. Your family came out to decorate the back of the limo for you earlier, it was all marked up with 'Just married', streamers, and balloons hanging off the back of it. The sunset was starting to come down as you said goodbye to your family and got into the back of the limo. Hugh climbed in after you, before getting right down on his knees. Your eyes widened as his hands came to your knees, spreading your thighs. You flushed, as he pulled your hips down the seat. 

"Hugh." You giggled, as he grinned up at you and he pecked kisses against the inside of your thigh. ---start here. His hands came up to the sides of your dress, dragging them up your hips. Hugh's hands soothing over the rolls on your belly. His lips kiss over the fabric covering your clit, making you huff out. 

"Keep imaging this on you all day, trying not to get hard. God it's been so long since I've been inside of you," Hugh grunted, burying his nose into the wet fabric of your cunt. "Always smell so fucking good. Gotta fucking taste you, my wife." 

"I'm yours, Hugh." You panted, as his hands to your white lacey panties, pulling them off your hips and dragging it down your thighs, your heels falling off your feet. Hugh moves your legs up around his shoulders before parting your thighs and licking a fat strip up your petals. He groaned at the taste on his tongue before burying his mouth into you, his nose sitting on your mound as his fingers came up to prod at your tight entrance. Your walls flutter around his finger, and he grunts into your nub making your hips buck into his mouth. Hugh's strong biceps flex as he pulls you back to his mouth in the position he wanted. "Hugh, fuck." You moaned.

This man ate pussy like a god. His finger came up to pinch at your clit, spitting on it while he lapped at your folds. Or his nose rubbing at your clit while he fucked you with his tongue, you wreathed in his grasp, and one of his hands pulled your top down to cup your bra-clad breast. Finding your nipple through the fabric and tweaking the nipple. Hugh mumbling and groaning into your cunt to make you slicker as he made you come all over his face. "Fuck me, princess," Hugh called. "Such a good girl." His large hands soothed up and down your thighs as he gazed up at you with forlorn eyes. 

"God I need your cock, please Hugh, fill me up." You begged as Hugh groaned, pulling you to him and shoving his erection into your wet pussy. The black cloth of his dress pants getting wet with your clear arousal. 

"Gotta wait."

"No, fuck me, Hugh. Gotta fuck your wife." You pressed, your hands coming to unbutton his shirt. His hand smacked your hand away. "Wanna feel you."

"So fucking needy," Hugh grunted, as he rutted into you, his head shooting back as he groaned softly. "Know how badly I wanna claim you and teasin me like that. Knowing that you wanna wait." His hands come to your ass, pulling you up and his hand comes to the side of your cheek. 

"Hugh!" You yelped, flushing a deep red, and the feeling of sweat rose to your skin. 

"Shut the fuck up." He grunted.

"You're the one you spanked me." You squeaked, a giggle erupting from your chest. Hugh couldn't help but smile over at you as his lips came to your thighs. 

"Make you come again."

The car came to a stop, as Hugh moved back keeping your panties in his pocket. Pulling down your wedding dress as your hands came up to your chest. Readjusting your breasts as Hugh moved to readjust his cock in his pants. Your eyes fixated on the bulge as his hand came over it. A shaky breath came out of your mouth as you moved closer. "Need your cock so bad. Let me taste you."

"Fuck-we gotta go-."

"Please need you in my mouth, fuck my throat daddy." Hugh huffed out a rough laugh, as hand came to your hair, gripping it in his hand. The nickname turned him on, as your hand came on top of his bulge. Your lips smashed against his in a hard kiss, your tongues and teeth clashing together. 

"So fucking naughty, princess." He taunted, nipping at your lip before pulling you away. "Get out of the car."

"But d-."

"Get out of the fucking car," Hugh said as you stood up as he harshly demanded, his hand coming to smack your ass possessively as you opened the door. 

You turned around with a grin on your face, "Harder." His hand came to your hip pushing you out of the car before standing behind you. Hugh leant down to grab the bags from the car, before wrapping his jacket around your shoulders. You pulled the sides to your chest as you walked forward out of the car. Your eyes widened as you looked around at the airport, there was Hugh's private jet, he didn't use it often, but he wanted to get it out for this occasion. The two of you are staying in Denver, Colorado for the next couple of days to see the local cities and go to different places. When you got on the plane, Hugh took you back towards the private part of the plane. Locking the door before turning you around, you giggled as his lips came to the back of your neck lightly placing kisses along your skin. His hands work the zipper down the back of your dress. 

"Just wanna rip this off of you." Hugh groaned as he tugged off the dress, pulling at the sleeves as he undressed you. "Fucking love you so much, my everything right here." He breathed out, as his nose pressed against your collarbone, and he pecked against the skin. When your breast was let free from your bra, he grasped one of them in his hands as he groaned, before his other hand came between your folds and his fingers entered your slick entrance. "God your so fucking wet." He started hammering his fingers in your g-spot, making you moan out loudly as his mouth came over your clit. You loved the feelings of his fingers inside of you, they were long and thick, hitting places deep inside of you. But it was nothing like his cock, and the further his fingers reached the more you imagined his cock bruising your cervix. 

"God, fuck me, Hugh." You pleaded.

"Come for me first," Hugh argued, as started swirling his tongue on your clit as he sucked, his fingers rubbing upwards to hit the special spot inside of you. The feeling welling up inside your pussy as he continued his ministrations, the squelching filling up the room as his index and middle finger prod at the spongy part inside of you. The part he loved wrapped around his cock, he bucked his hips into the mattress as he spit on his finger to make it even wetter. You gushed out on him as you jerked your hips, not quite coming yet, but as he blew on your clit, you cried out his name. 

"Fuck, Hugh." He pulled your aching clit back into his mouth and he keeps sucking like his life depends on it.  

"God can't come, need your cock." You cried as you leant forward, your hand reaching down to the tent in his crotch. "I bet you’re so fucking hard, gotta feel it. Love that vein that runs down your Adonis belt to your cock. Need inside me." 

"Fuck, needy little cock-slut." Hugh growled, his hands coming to his shirt to start unbuttoning it. While you sat up scooching forward to undo his button and zipper, pulling it down and pushing down the sides of his pantsuit. You left out a soft whine as you felt his cock bulging from underneath his boxer briefs. You sighed out shakily, as you leaned forward to kiss his hot dick over the fabric. Your fingers came to the hem of his Calvin Klein's and tugging them down to expose his hard as a rock member, bobbing in the air. His tip was a fiery red, precum bubbling off the tip, he was rough and veiny, his mid-shaft thick and long. You leant forward to kiss at the sides of his dick before spitting on his cock. Hugh groaned, as he pushed back his button and his hand came to your hair, tugging on the roots as he positioned the mushroom tip of his cock at your lips. Your tongue poked out to wet the skin, Hugh hissed at the softest before your wet mouth enveloped him. A deep moan of your name fell from his mouth as he panted. 

Hugh pushed his cock further into your mouth, as your jaw loosened, and you started gagging around him. He breathed out shakily, the sensation coursing through his veins like adrenaline. Your mouth was so soft, you knew just how he liked your mouth on him. You were drooly and messy, your hips kept shifting and your thighs kept wiggling. He pulled you off of his cock, his hand coming to pet your cheek. Hugh leant down to kiss your lips, his hand coming to your waist and pulling you closer to him. He stepped out of his dress pants before sitting on the bed and pulling you on top of him. Your lips crashed down on his with a soft moan, your hand coming down to his hard cock that rested between the two of you. You started moving your hand up and down his shaft as he gazed into your eyes with a light brown haze in his eyes. Then you lifted your hips, bringing his dick to your entrance and starting to sink down on his tip. The velvety walls taking him in made a groan quell from his throat, his hands stopping your hips from moving further. "Fuck you're so tight." Hugh panted, as he tilted his head to look into your eyes. You felt tears well up in your eyes as you looked over at your husband. You felt the cold of his ring against your skin. Hugh pulls you off of him, before moving you onto your back and sliding into you. You cried out at the feeling of his cock filling you completely, your walls so slick it didn't hurt. "I love you, baby." He murmured, leaning into your room before he started slowly thrusting his hips into yours. 

"Fuck, Hugh." You whined, tucking your head into his neck as your hand delved into your hair, tugging on the strands as his lips messily met yours, his hips making soft moans fall from your lips like a case of the hiccups. His hands moved to both sides of your hair, moving your hair away from your face. Hugh started lightly tracing your features while he gave you deep long thrusts, his hand coming down trace circles on your throbbing clit. You fluttered around his dick before spasming more, almost pushing his member out of your pussy. But he pushed his hips further into you, your eyes looking down at his flexed sweaty abs, his head tilting back at the feeling of you clamping around him. Then the gush you let out as you orgasmed, the high-pitched roaring moan of his name echoing off the walls of the room. You were lucky that you were in the sky, you hoped no one else heard you. "Wanna mark you, fucking mine."

"Yeah, baby? Need to mark your territory? Fucking show me I'm the one?" Hugh grunted, pulled out of you for a moment, as your lips sucked and nipped as his neck. You were sure to leave fat bruises on his neck, your fingers digging into his skin and pulling him in close. You sighed at the vicinity of his cock, making sure that he remained close as he grinned down at you. "Just wanna make you come again on my cock, feels like fucking heaven." 

"Don't want you to stop fucking me." You admitted, a flush throughout your whole body, as his hand came down to your sensitive pussy to massage the skin. He moved forward, lining up his cock with your pussy and sinking inside, he filled himself to the hilt. Your pussy was the perfect fit for his cock, your hands shakily gripping his shoulders as you sloppily bit his jaw and mouth. 

"Just gonna stay right here for a moment." Hugh's mouth enveloped your breast, his other hand coming to cup your breast and tweak at your nipple. Your nipples puckering up for him, growing wet with his mouth sucking and teasing them. He groaned softly at the way you fluttered around his cock, he leaned into you an idea popping into his head. "Fucking use me, fucking yourself on my cock." 

You moaned, your hands coming to cup his hands that moved over your breasts as you started grinding your hips against his and letting out the airest brightest moan as your clit rubbed against his pubic hair. Hugh moved forward to kiss your lips a soft kiss, trying to resist fucking you into oblivion as he helped you move your body against his cock. Your hips doing the motions and Hugh giving the oomph behind it. That was until you started begging him, whining like a little puppy, "God fuck me, Hugh. Need you to fuck the shit of me, baby." You slurred, as he couldn't help but give a toothy grin as he pressed his swollen lips to yours. Hugh was hesitant to buck his hips into yours, the two of you moving together in harsh movements, your orgasm welling up in you with the rhythmic movement before your back arched, his hands over your breasts as you cradled his arms. Your mouth dropped open as you panted out his name, but before you could react he started jack hammering into your soaked cunt. His cock fell out of you before he pulled out of you, a moan falling from your mouth as he turned you over on your back, getting pillows to help support you and the baby. His hand moved behind your thighs to feel your slick, the arousal a web between his pointer and middle finger. Hugh brought the essence up to his mouth, moaning at your taste before grabbing his cock and pushing his hips forward to bottom out at you. 

"Fuck Hugh." You cried, grabbing onto the maitress as he started jackhammering into your cunt. Your head tilts back as you move against him, his hand coming around to rub at your clit. Your body folding back into him as you started fucking yourself back on his cock like a hungry slut. "Daddy you fuck me so good."

"God your fucking husband now baby girl." Hugh grumbled against your lips, as he lightly slotted his against yours as started rubbing taunt circles on your clit, the movements concentrated as you grabbed at his hand covering your stomach for leverage. One of your hands slid to his strong veiny bicep clutching on for dear god, as you felt a strong orgasm begin to blossom in your stomach like a tall blooming sunflower on a hot shiny summer's day. 

"Mine." You sighed, leaning back into his back before your legs give out as they tremble with your orgasm running through you like a freight train, sucking in your husband's member and his hips stuttering into you, before ground into you while his orgasm shot out of his slit and into your pulsating cunt. Hugh kept his cock inside of you as he leaned his weight on to you, making you sign with the feeling of him against you. Your hands smooth up his back, feeling his sweat skin and the dips of his muscled back. You kissed his shoulder as he hid in your neck, both of your sexes pulsating and throbbing. Hugh eventually pulled out of you to take care of the two of you. 

Carrying you to the bathroom to help you go to the bathroom, you both take bird baths before getting into the pair of pajamas that Hugh had packed for the two of you. Brushing your teeth and getting back out to the bedroom. He pulled off the top blanket and set it on the ground before pulling up the top sheet. You crawled under and he turned off the light as he crawled under with you. Hugh's strong arms wrapped around you as his hazel eyes gazed down at you with piercing love.

note: this got out of hand and i had to imagine every little thing because i wanna marry this man so badly it's not funny

tags: @ohtobemare @jessjessmarvelandhp @chronicallybubbly @delicateholland @bubblegumholland @mega-kittyglitter-1 @squishyfruitloop

[meetinginsamarra]

My fave Sherlock BBC AUs - Artists

Around mid-month I’ll do a fic rec list with my fave AU genres or tropes. Summaries are taken from OP on AO3.

ACTORS

“Performance in a Leading Role” (-series, +7 sequels) by Mad_Lori @madlori

Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?

“Lifetime Achievement” (part 9 of Performance-sereis) by Mad_Lori

John Watson has just won an Oscar and gotten engaged in the same day. Now what? (Sequel to "Performance in a Leading Role")

“To the Sticking Place” by blueink3 @blueink3

Renowned Shakespearean actor Sherlock Holmes has finally burned all of his bridges in the theatre industry save for his constant director, Greg Lestrade. John Watson has made a name for himself in the musical theatre circuit, but age and injury are working against him. Can they reinvent themselves for an all-male Macbeth without killing one another?

“Much Ado about a Whole Bloody Lot” (sequel to Sticking Place) by blueink3

"What do you mean John has to kiss her?"  "Sherlock, that's generally what happens when one is starring in a romantic comedy." Or, Sherlock goes to see John in his first role post-Macbeth and he's really not all that happy about it.

“Floating through a dark blue sky” by Lediona

Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

“Fading Stars and Black Holes” by lurikko

Sherlock Holmes, known from movies A Scandal in Belgravia and Don’t Make Me Choose, comes back to acting after two years. He’s starring in a romantic comedy about two men who move in together for practical reasons and stumble into a surprising friendship. The only problem is that his co-star is John Watson, a man whom he hasn’t seen since he left their shared flat two years ago, leaving John only a note. During the time they have been apart, John Watson has gotten to himself a wife, a child, and a divorce.

“The Short and Tragic Death of John Watson” by Calais_Reno @calaisreno

Thirteen years ago, Sherlock starred in a television series about an alien boy stranded on Earth. Now Molly has written a reunion episode and he's expected to join his old costars and recreate the role of Alex Tribble, now an adult returning to rescue his old friends from an alien threat. Having had some success since playing a teenage alien, Sherlock is reluctant to reprise the role. And there's another problem no one wants to discuss: John Watson, who played his best friend, is dead.

Warning: Nobody dies. John isn't dead. If you came here for angst and MCD, you won't find it. If you came here to find a cheesy, self-indulgent story with a ridiculous, contrived happy ending that I had way too much fun writing, here you go.

“Take Two” by Raina_at @raina-at

Six years ago, Sherlock Holmes, then a promising young actor, broke John Watson's heart. When the production John is working on needs a new lead actor two weeks before press night, they turn to Sherlock to save the production. Working together after six years won't be a problem. After all, both of them are professionals. And both of them have moved on. Or at least they think they have.

WRITERS

“How Novel-series” (14 fics) by StarlicghtAndFireflies

starting with A Novel Meeting

“Who should I sign it to?” The familiar question rolls off his lips easily, but somehow it feels more meaningful this time. He’s never met a fan quite so dedicated, quite so willing to lug an entire armful of books to get them all signed, quite so handsome even when he blushes. “Er… Sherlock,” the man replies. AU in which John is an author, and Sherlock is a fan who comes to his book signing.

“Poetry and Prose” by Jberry

John is a crime series writer. Sherlock writes serious poetry. Sherlock takes time on his writing blog to give John Watson a hard time about his writing, though he's secretly read all his books and in love with the author. Mistaken identity, new love, a little angst, fluff that progresses into... Well. You'll just have to read it, now won't you?

“Writer’s Block” by lookupkate

John has been writing detective novels for years, shitty, romance filled detective novels. That is until his last. Now he can't write a single chapter. When Greg seats him next to an asshole genius he doesn't have the slightest idea that it is exactly what he needs.

“Fortune Favours” by simplyclockwork @simplyclockwork​

On military leave, John Watson discovers that his sister has signed him up for a blind date book event. The set-up is simple: one person brings a book and ends up on a blind date with whoever chooses their contribution. To say that John is reluctant to attend is an understatement. Luckily, sparks fly between him and a stunning new author when he makes an unorthodox selection from the book choices.

PAINTERS

“Oxidation” by abbykate

as oil paintings dry, the process is not evaporation as there is no water in the paint to disappear; instead, the oils in the paint are oxidised causing them to harden over years in a process that never really stops.

“Bloody Brushes” and by jawbonesandjumpers

Sherlock Holmes is a world-renowned art critic and collector who rarely finishes any of his own work. He is brutal and ends more artists’ careers than starts them, and he abhors the state of the art world today. John Watson is a recluse who was invalided out of the army and paints the horrifying scenes of his nightmares. When Sherlock stumbles across one of his works, he becomes obsessed with his paintings and wants nothing more than to meet the man behind the canvas.

“Pastel Paints” by jawbonesandjumpers

Sherlock finds his muse and John paints an angel.

“Art of the Reasoner” by Tellytubby101

A world in which Sherlock is an artist, not a detective. Though that doesn’t mean he can’t help solve crimes. AU.

[bowtiesnmusicals]

Here is my recap of the second episode of the And That's What You Really Missed podcast.

Justin Timberlake too busy to be Mr. Shue.

Jane Lynch like character kept rolling around as a character.

Casting room was super stereotypical...men in gray suits with note pads.

Ryan would try to talk first.

Ryan first met Lea while he was working with Johnathan Groff on Pretty Handsome. Lamented that she couldn't get an audition on a CW show.

Lea was always the frontrunner for Rachel and it kind of was written for her.

Ryan had worked with Amber before as well.

Let it be Kevin. Running joke between Kevin and Ryan.

Whitney Houston agreed to play the part Eve played in season 1.

Ryan tried to create roles for Jennifer Lopez and Anne Hathaway.

Ryan has gotten death threats because of the Turkey Lurkey Time song.

Ryan's one regret is not doing a Taylor Swift tribute episode.

The Michael shoot was the worst shoot. It was long and hard.

Jenna was told to take a vacation and that was why she wasn't on the Michael episode. She needed it for her mental health.

The thing that Ryan loves the most in his life is creating a world and entering into it.

He turned his childhood bedroom into Studio 54. When Grace Kelly died he wanted to paint his room the color of her eyes. It was a way to escape his pain as a tortured picked on gay kid.

Creating television shows lets him create a whole world.

Glee needed to be poppy and bright.

Ryan has really bad OCD.

He will stay up until 2 am researching different patterns and colors.

Working on something about Truman Capote.

Glee was the start of Ryan's funko pop doll phase.

Each character has their own likes and dislikes when it comes to how they look and what they wear.

Ryan has very specific rules when he creates things.

Tina was shy but secretly tough and her clothes were like armor.

Sue was the best role ever because she always got to be comfortable wearing a tracksuit

Glee was the island of misfit toys.

There were 5 different versions of Don't Stop from the first episode.

No one wanted to do Don't Stop because it had just been done on the Sopranos. Ryan wouldn't take no for an answer because the song had been important to him as a kid.

Drama club was Ryan's safe space.

Everybody knows what it is like to be misunderstood, unseen, and bullied.

Vitamin D came about because Ryan would get a boost of energy whenever he took a Claritn D for allergies.

Everyone was pushed to challenge themselves.

Lean in to the good times.

Glee is a love letter to musical artists and misfits in high school.

The thing I am embarrassed about myself is the thing I should be celebrating.

Re-examine glee as a brand. Should we do a reboot or a musical? Ryan wants to do it in a positive way.

The cast got to feel appreciated and like they belonged for the first time.

Everyone in show business is there because they feel unloved.

The cast was given the option to not be in The Quarterback.

They did it for Cory. They hoped they would find some closure.

Looking back Ryan would never have done it now. It was too soon. It was too raw and emotional.

When Cory passed they had two choices..do they cancel the show or go on.

There is no right answer.

How do you address what happened? Do you pretend it didn't happen? Does the character die off camera?

Ryan ultimately decided to pay tribute to Cory and Finn.

Ryan helped Cory with an intervention. Cory visited Ryan on the set of The Normal Heart. He came to fire island and spent time with Ryan. A few days later Cory died.

Ryan asked for a grief counselor on set. No one talked to the grief counselor.

Ryan watched the episode once, edited it, and never looked at it again.

No one was ready to talk about it. Everyone was very close and protective of each other. At one point Kevin just got out of the wheelchair and walked off the set and lost it.

Cast had to juggle managing a brand and job with losing their friend.

If this happened now Ryan would have done things differently and would have had everyone take a year off.

Part of the reason they kept going was for the crew.

Did the best with what they could.

Kevin blocked it out of his memory.

Talked to everybody to see if they wanted to sing a song or what they wanted to do.

If glee was being made today Ryan would have taken a break and maybe not come back.

No one wants to touch the show out of respect for Naya and Cory.

Ryan tried to be a leader. Everyone wanted to be together and it just made sense to go to work and be together.

Ryan hated the idea of the students graduating and moving some of them to New York. The show maybe should have ended with graduation.

Ryan wouldn't change anything but he does have regrets. Wished that he had more meetings with the cast to see where everyone was at and to just check in with everyone.

Ryan learned a lot from Glee.

Ryan wants to come back to talk about other episodes.

Amber turned Ryan on to Adele. Kevin told Ryan about Lady Gaga.

Never let anyone do a podcast like this but Kevin and Jenna because he trusts them.

The podcast will start with them going through the narrative of the episodes and then talking about the crazy tiktok rumors.

They want to bring on some of the artists covered on glee and talk to them.

Ryan wants to a true/false segment. Also a segment of we did this right/we really fucked this up.

Next week will be the recap of the pilot.

[ilomilodailystuff]

This is the second time I have fallen in love with a man who suffers from DID and has murderous tendencies. Should I question my sanity? Probably. Am I going to stop loving these people? Absolutely not :))

[autolenaphilia]

Dirty Harry (1971)

(Spoilers and discussions of police brutality, torture and copaganda)

Dirty Harry from 1971 is probably one of the most influential crime films ever made. The title character police Inspector “Dirty” Harry Callahan is the model for the cop who doesn’t play by the rules and uses a lot of violence to stop crime. Clint Eastwood was mainly know for westerns when he was cast, and the character does have shades of his cowboy roles, but put in a modern urban environment, 1970s San Francisco to be exact.

The film was very controversial when it was released in december 1971. Showings were picketed by feminists, and many film critics called the film fascist. The reason is that the protagonist doesn’t give a fuck about the legal restrictions put on police. Harry does not just fire back at criminals with a magnum revolver, but does thing like break in and search a suspect’s home without a warrant and torture them for information. The film explicitly points out how his actions break at least amendments 4, 5 and 6 of the US constitution. If the methods of Dirty Harry are taken as a model for how police work should be done, the end result would be a police state, where cops can just do whatever if they say you are a criminal.

There is grounds for the accusation. The film can certainly be read as defending and glamorizing Harry and his actions. Clint Eastwood was never a great actor, but Dirty Harry is a great role for him, as he uses his handsome face and charisma to charm the audience and make us like Harry. So at least emotionally we are led to condone his actions.

The film’s villain is in comparison portrayed as so utterly vile that Harry methods can be justified. The serial killer Scorpio is utterly detestable. Loosely based on the contemporary Zodiac killer, he murders men, women and children, for his own personal sadistic enjoyment. Although he is not above demanding huge sums of money as ransoms, deals he always reneges on. His personality switches between bullying people with sadistic glee when he has the upper hand, and pathetically begging for mercy when he doesn’t. Actor Andrew Robinson plays him with theatrical flamboyance, but the character lacks any sense of honour or dignity that make other flamboyant villains often surprisingly likeable. No one can deny how the writing and acting is excellent at making the audience hate Scorpio. No one will mourn him when Harry blows him away with his revolver in the film’s climax.

Scorpio’s actions are so serious and he so detestable that Harry’s actions seem justified. The legal system seems unable to deal with him. Due to Harry throwing out the constitution in catching Scorpio, Scorpio is set free on the legal irregularities, and the film’s climax is Harry having to stop him while he hijacks a school bus.

So that is one valid reading of the film. In that case the film’s argument can be summed up as: Legal restrictions makes it too hard for cops to catch criminals, the law respects the rights of criminals more than those of victims. So we need cops to be set loose and do whatever it takes to stop criminals. That kind of argument is definitely fascist or at least very authoritarian. A call for a police state, where suspects have no legal or even constitutional rights and cops can do whatever they want.

Of course the film can also be read as ambiguous. Harry’s actions are not entirely justified and instead morally dubious.

Are Harry’s actions entirely motivated by a desire to stop the bad guys? For the film hints that there is a streak of sadism in him. The famous “Do I feel lucky?” scene is mostly famous for Harry’s memetic monologue about his magnum revolver. He performs a bluff to disarm a bank robber. But directly afterwards he decides to toy with the man he already disarmed for his own amusement. He smiles at how he makes a man think he is going to die. Harry might come across as badass, but that’s because he is genuinely menacing.

This smile reminds me of the Joker

The torture scene where Harry jams his foot into Scorpio’s knife wound to get information out of him is also ambiguous. The justification for it is a ticking time-bomb scenario. Scorpio has kidnapped a teenage girl and buried her alive and if he doesn’t reveal where she is, she is going to suffocate. He uses this kidnapping to get ransom money. Scorpio does reveal where the girl is due to the torture, but she is already dead when the cops find her.

And Harry had already deduced that would be the case. When he is told about Scorpio’s demand, he says that he knows the girl is already dead and they shouldn’t pay. He uses her to justify his actions later, but he contradicts himself in doing so. So the ticking time-bomb was never a real thing, he never had a valid reason to torture.

It’s also filmed in a way that doesn’t come across as heroic. Eastwood distorts his face into an ugly angry gargoyle-like grimace, the discordant music by Lalo Schifrin would fit a horror movie scene, and the film pans out to a wideshot of the stadium as if the camera finds the events too horrible to record in too much close-up detail.

And while the DA and judge that criticize Harry later might come across as liberal strawmen to some, their arguments strike me as reasonable. They point out that their objections are based in the fact that Harry’s action did violate important parts of the US constitution. From their perspective, it’s Harry’s actions that explicitly ignored existing constitutional limits on police actions that set Scorpio free, not the laws themselves.

Harry might be argued to be just as motivated as a sadistic glee in violence similar to that of Scorpio. There are like two sides of a coin.

Take for example, Scorpio’s peace sign belt buckle and compare it with Harry’s badge. The peace sign is obviously ironic, because he is a serial killer. The peace sign and his longish hair makes him look like a hippie, but he doesn’t seem progressive at all. He calls black people the n-word in one of his letters and targets them, and literally has a gay couple in his gun sights at one point. You might read that as an accusation against the hippie movement, that they were all hypocrites. But it introduces the theme of sadistic killers hiding underneath symbols of a greater ideal, when they are actually doing violence because they enjoy it.

And you can read Harry’s badge as the same thing. He certainly doesn’t uphold the laws and the US constitution that the badge is meant to symbolize. His actions might prevent worse criminals, but they still are crimes in themselves. The film actually ends with Harry coming to some kind of realization about this, as he throws his badge into the river. It doesn’t represent him or his actions anymore. It’s not his killing Scorpio that we end with, but with this very ambiguous action. Of course the sequels have Harry continue to be a police inspector, but the original ending suggest he abandons policing.

This might just be me reading something more agreeable into the film than a fascistoid argument for a police state. But I’m not alone in this reading, this fine essay by Andy Andersen comes to a similar viewpoint. And there are definite indications that this was part of the filmmakers intentions. Director Don Siegel seems to have been a liberal, and reading about the making of suggests an intended ambiguity that has been often lost in the film’s reception, both positive and negative. The original trailer for the film interestingly calls it “a movie about a couple of killers”. Wikipedia has some interesting material about the making of the film, with citations. Harry Julian Fink’s and Rita Fink’s original script had a theme of “blurring the distinction between criminal and cop“. The famously right-wing John Milius did uncredited writing for the film, but even he said in a 1976 interview that one of his ideas was “The cop being the same as the killer except he has a badge.

Before watching Dirty Harry,I expected it to be straightforward copaganda, but there is actually ambiguity in the story it tells. Of course you can still argue that the film takes Harry’s side and justifies his actions, there is evidence for such a reading. But even taken as such, it’s still an interesting and entertaining watch. It’s a well-made and entertaining action film, Don Siegel’s direction, the music by Lalo Schifrin, the performances by Eastwood and Robinson all make it a fine aesthetic experience. But it’s also interesting because it provides such opportunities for critical analysis. But I’m a weirdo that finds ideological analysis of the themes of a piece of media fun in itself, that’s why I spend so much time writing these reviews. I knew Dirty Harry mainly from its massive influence on later police fiction, much of which is unambiguous copaganda, and I was actually surprised to find that there are these ambiguities in it, providing room for a critical reading of Harry Callahan. And if you want to truly understand the history of copaganda and how it has changed over the years, seeing Dirty Harry is a must. Even if the film itself is far more ambiguous than most of its imitators, that influence can’t be denied.

[babytaes]

the originals (you belong)

summary: The Mikaelsons family stumbles across a plot to assassinate the Prince. Despite Klaus’ judgement, you are determined to take on that challenge with the help of some magic. You demonstrate to them and to yourself that you BELONG!

paring: jake x female reader

genre: angst, slight fluff, slight smut/suggestive

word count: 7k

warnings: suggestive scene

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖘: click me before reading!

➳ part of the drunk & dazed series

a/n: i’m not a big fan of this work, i don’t know what it is but i feel like it could be better. I didn’t do my routine thorough read so forgive me for any mistakes. thank you for waiting for this member. enjoy and much love from babytaes. :)

☆ ҉ ◢▅◣

"This is not allowed, Your Majesty. This is not something I believe we should be doing, "You began to walk out of Jake's regal room, shaking your head.

Hearing footsteps behind you, a hand touches your shoulder as he turns you around, shutting the door behind you as he gently pushes you up against the wall.

"Don't pretend you haven't been keeping an eye on me for the past few weeks. I'm sure you want it as much as I do, y/n.”

Licking your lips, you slap his hands off of you and make your way to his massive bed as you fall back.

"It's not like I don't want to do it. It's just your royalty, and I'm not the Mikaelson type."

Jake snickers as he approaches you and raises you up by your hands, bringing you face to face with him. He touches your cheek in his palm and caresses it as he moves closer to your face.

"Well, we're notorious for occasionally breaching the rules. Why don't you give it a shot?" As you yanked his hand away from you and dashed to the door, you snapped back to reality.

Your heart ached as you turned back to see a befuddled Jake, and you cried out to him before closing the door.

“Jake, please stop. You and I both know I'll never be good enough for your family"

It wasn't the finest decision to leave him standing there, but it was necessary for your protection. You wouldn't want to jeopardize the next person in line.

Even if something might have worked with him, the risk was too high.

Everyone should be cautious when they're among the Milkasons, including the youngest.

It wasn't all bad being with the Mikaelsons. They were like a second family to you, despite the fact that you had only met them millennium before. It was strange to find them on that fateful day.

You never know when the all-powerful Originals will appear on your doorstep and request to look after their brother.

It seemed strange. Right?

"Calm down, brother; we'll find a place." We wouldn't be in this situation if you quit yelling and spreading mayhem all over the place."

Klaus ignores his brother and knocks on a cottage door, rolling his eyes at him.

"Oh, Elijah, just shut up; you're just trying to prove me wrong."

Elijah straightens himself as he hears light footsteps approaching the door and approaches the madam who opens it.

"Hello-, your mother bowed down to them and swiftly looked down."

Elijah takes a step in front of his sibling, who is rambling to your mother. Nothing is audible to you. Even so, you see a boy from behind the corner. He appears to be your age and is hidden behind the towering man.

As he moves from behind the man and toward the back, you snicker and watch him through the windows as he approaches the back door.

As you walk through it, you come face to face with the curious boy.

"Hello, my name is Jake; how about you?" He extends his hand, and you eagerly examine it.

"My name is y/n."  Do you want to join me in my game? "I don't have anyone to play with." As you drag him to your makeshift playhouse, you grasp his hand in yours and shake it hard.

You and he hit it off right away when you were outside. You didn't have many friends, so having someone to play house with was very entertaining at your young age

"Hey, come back," He said as he snatched your toy vehicle, making you and him giggle. "Give it back," you insist  

The two men and your mother were standing by the rear door, staring at you two. 

"I believe he will be a perfect fit. Don't worry, I'll do my best." Before summoning Jake over, Klaus and Elijah thanked your mother one again.

They said their goodbyes and walked away, and your memories were about to start.

---

You and Jake have been inseparable since then; it's always been you two against the world. Despite the fact that you and he come from two different worlds, you manage to make it work on occasion.

You stood far away from the commotion, watching the royal family squabble over royal matters. Jake had just been summoned, and you took a step back, not wanting to cause any disruption.

Despite the fact that they could clearly hear and see you, you continued to stand there.

"Brother, we wouldn't be in this stupid situation if it weren't for your inconvenient behavior once more."

Life is always tumultuous when you basically grow up with a group of originals. I don't think there has ever been a moment when someone wasn't screamed at, killed, or cursed.

It's always something with them.

Jake looks at you, rolling his eyes and making a variety of facial expressions. He loved his life except for this part.

His family 

Your mother took him in and practically raised him when you were younger. You never understood why his family always left him behind. It seems like just because his family was on the run at the time they couldn't or didn't have time to look after him.

As a result, when he reached adulthood, he was able to take his rightful place in the kingdom, and because your family took on that responsibility, you were granted permission to remain in the kingdom.

I mean, the enormous rooms and countless bathrooms never get old, noo. Even though everything appeared to be all in good humor, you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach.

Feeling as if you've never belonged there 

You were a vampire with most of their powers, but you lacked the "royal," and no matter how hard you tried, you could never fit into their mold.

You take one last look at the family, shake your head, and then walk away. You still have a lot of work ahead of you.

You arrive at your mother's room slowly and open it to see her folding laundry. As you approached her and sat down on her, her demeanor brightened.

"You do know you're pretty heavy, sweetie?"

"Mmh," you mutter under your breath as you roll away from her and to the ground. To pass the time, you take a shirt and begin folding it.

"Mom?"

As she continued to fold, she hummed a quiet yes.

"What made you decide to take on such a difficult duty as raising Prince Jake?" She let go of the blouse in her hand as she came to a halt and stared at you. She sighs as she takes a seat next to you and tells you about that fateful day.

Your mother was inside talking to the royal family as you played in the backyard with your new friend.

She dropped her head and gazed up at Elijah and Klaus, saying, "It is such an honor to have you both in my company."

Making their way over to the table, they all sat down and discussed ways of how you could best protect him.

"We don't know when or for how long we'll be on the run, but we're prepared to pay any charge if that time comes."

As Klaus' voice boomed over the table, she shook her head at them, her hand trembling.

"We have to get out of here; I sense them." Elijah gave his troubled brother a stern look and motioned him to leave. He was in a hurry and dashed out of the house.

Elijah reached into his back pocket and placed a bag of coins on the table. He swiftly thanked you after scouting the front entrance.

"I apologize for the inconvenience, but forgive our ill-timed intrusion. I'll make arrangements for payments to come from the castle every week. I'd like to thank you in advance for everything you've done for us."

Elijah nodded before sprinting into the woods in pursuit of his brother. She smiles as you take it all in and grab the bag of coins from the table.

"This is for you, love, Rest in peace, my dear."

As she make her way to the back, she calls over the two rowdy children and embrace them in a hug. As she looked at them both, they both smiled. You watched as she squatted down and spoke, holding them in her hands.

"So those two lovely gentlemen who just came by were members of the royal family, as you may know y/n, and they have entrusted us to watch and maintain track of this handsome little boy," Jake squirmed around as his face reddened as you pinched his cheek.

"For the time being, we'll do our best to make this the best time for him." Before embracing Jake in an embrace, your daughter cast a glance at him. As you gazed at the scene in front of you, a warm flush spread across your chest as you imagined the days you three would spend together..

"So it was difficult at the time, and due to your father's death and financial difficulties, it was only a matter of time before we were thrown out on the street. So, aside from the age-old law of not disobeying the royal family, it was now or never."

Your smile crept across your face as you shook your head up and down. Your mother was your role model, the woman who always wore a grin on her face and never let the world bring her down. She was daring, loving, and brave, and she did it all despite the fact that she had recently become a single mother. Moms have a lot of strength.

"Ahh, I see. Dad would be incredibly proud of you and all of your efforts."

She grinned as she threw her shirt in your direction.

"Ahh- stop"

*Knock Knock*

As you and your mother stood up to tell them to come in, a guard approached you both and communicated a message.

"You are required in the Prince chambers, Ms. Y/n." You bowed down and pecked your mum on the cheek before taking your place behind the guard.

---

You thanked the guard as you entered inside the familiar area after arriving at the enormous set of bronzed yet golden doors. When you peek inside, you notice him lying on the floor; as you carefully approached his side, you smiled and hovered over him.

"You asked for me, right? I'm going to leave if this isn't something significant." Jake gently rises, his head resting on his gigantic bed.

"It's nothing major, but I do have a request," he says. As you faced him, your eyes widened. As he turned to face you, he exuded a princely radiance. He leaned forward and lingered near your lips, his gaze fixed on you.

You leapt to your feet, terrified and intrigued, and shoved him back as you took a step back.

"Excuse my language, Jake, but what the hell was that?"  As he got up and approached you, he cocked his head to the side.

"My request?" He snatched your hands and held them in his. You'd never been caressed with such gentleness before. It was an unfamiliar sensation that made you feel warm but strange.

"This is not permitted, Your Majesty. This is not something I believe we should be doing, "You began to walk out of Jake's regal room, shaking your head.

A hand touches your shoulder as he turns you around, shuts the door behind you and gently pushes you up against the wall, hearing footsteps behind you.

"Don't act like you weren't eyeing me these past weeks. I know you want this just as much as I do y/n."

You smack his hands off of you and make your way to his large bed as you fall back, licking your lips.

"It's not like I don't want to do it. It's simply your royalty, and I'm not the Mikaelson type."

Jake snickers as he approaches you and raises you up by your hands, bringing you face to face with him. He touches your cheek in his palm and caresses it as he moves closer to your face.

"Well, we're notorious for occasionally breaking the rules. Why don't you give it a shot?" As you shoved his hand away from you and opened the door, you snapped back to reality.

Your heart ached as you turned back to see a befuddled Jake, and you cried out to him before closing the door.

"Jake, please stop. You and I both know I'll never be good enough for your family."

As you turned the corner and ran down the corridor, you left him stunned and in disarray. You didn't stop running until you were outdoors, far away from the castle, in the fabled garden.

As you fall on top of the fountain, the tears won't stop flowing. The day was slipping away as your sobs drew the attention of a curious woman. It wasn't until she sat next to you and spoke to you that you realized it.

"One of those days, huh?"

As she stretched her hand to you, you shrieked and fell back on your hands, frightened and terrified.

"Sorry for scaring you, hun; I didn't intend to. Haven't we all had awful days? My name is Davina, by the way." As she helped you up to the edge of the fountain, you took her hand in yours.

"Thanks for asking, today is one of these days." "So, may I ask what the problem is?" she asked, smiling as she moved closer to you.

"I miss my father and all that made up his eccentric character. He would know what to do." you sniffled as you glanced up at the girl with a welcome atmosphere.

She leapt to her feet and squealed, extending her hand "I enjoy helping others. In this area, I do have the upper hand. Allow me to demonstrate." You took her hand in yours after a brief moment of hesitation.

You had never expected a witch to be able to assist you, but you were willing to try. She waved to her neighbor across the street as she unlocked her door. As she arranged her stuff, she turned on the lamp and signaled for you to come sit at her table.

"Please take a seat; I won't bite. Maybe" You chuckled as you sat in the wooden chair, having forgotten that the witches lived in this neighborhood. It's not like they were exiled, but you hardly had time to check in on them and the rest of the group.

Everyone looked to be so comfortable in their own little world. Why couldn't you seem to fit in anywhere?

"All right, all right, we're ready; don't worry, it won't hurt."

"What might hur-'' As the knife quickly passed across your palm, you felt a searing feeling.

'What the hell, Davina,' you exclaimed." She chuckled as she put yout palm over a stone bowl and watched the blood drip into it.

"Sorry"

As the blood began to bubble up in the stone bowl, you pouted. As her hands swiveled around the bowl, Davine began to speak phrases you couldn't comprehend. As your eyes blinked quicker, your head began to spin.

"What's going on?" you exclaim. When she opened her eyes, you could see white orbs replacing her natural ones.

"We're ready."

---

You passed out as you receded back into your chair. Awoken Davina took your hand in hers and escorted you outside. This time, though, things were different; the day had turned to darkness, and everything appeared to be dissimilar. The town has turned completely around.

"Where are we?" As she turned to face you, she laughed.

"A better question is when are we. The spell I casted transported us to a time when I hoped you would learn something new and put things into perspective." For the 23rd time today, she began to tug you. Your heart began to drop as you arrived at your house, well, the one in the past, as you beamed at that. As you let her hand fall from yours, your nerves were heightened. As you took a step back, you began to feel panicked.

"Noo-nooo wait, how did you do this?" you say as you fall to your knees and cover your eyes. You could feel her hands on your back as she gently caressed it.

"I know, it's crazy, y/n. I just pulled some old memories back to life. I won't leave your side if you're afraid." As you saw the familiar image in front of you, you slowly pushed forward.

"Just don't leave." As you walked through the front door, you held her hand in yours. Everything seems so blurry at this point; you were just a small child, and your life was about to alter dramatically.

"Hey sweetie, go tell your father to go get some firewood. Okay?" As you crawled down off the stool and out the door, you smiled. As he turned to face you, your little feet found their way to your father's side.

"There's my little princess. What exactly do you need?" He massaged your backside as he hauled you onto his lap.

"Mommy said to get wood, and I wanna come too, daddy. May I, pretty please." He sighed as he looked at his watch, it was fairly dark, but the wood wasn't far away.

"Yes, you are welcome to join me. You're a big girl now. So you gotta help daddy out, okay?"

As you and Davina stood on the sidelines watching everyone make their way to the woodpile, you wished you had done more for him.

"All right, sweetie, you can carry one and I'll take care of the rest." You squealed as you clutched a small, almost insignificant log in your arms. As he placed a twig in your batch, he gazed down at his girl.

"Daddy, I think that's all I can carry." As he and you both began heading back to the home, you both laughed.

As the horror grew, you turned around and began crying on Davina's shoulder. You knew what was going to happen, but you couldn't bear the thought of having to go through it again. As Davina turned to face you, you felt her hands on your shoulders.

"You must see for yourself. It is the only option."

As tears flood down your cheeks, you slowly open your eyes and look at the scene.

"Thanks for helping daddy, sweetheart." "Mommy would be so proud of you." He kissed you on the head as he knelt down to you.

"You're welcome, Daddy. "Now that I'm a big girl, I can do huge things." He smiled as he took another glance around. " As your mouth enlarged, you dropped your logs. Your father's life vanished before your eyes in an instant.

As his body went slack, he fell to the ground, and you began to scream. As words slurred from your mouth, he began to shiver.

"What's the matter, Daddy?" HELP, MOMMY." As he held you in his hug, your small body slumped forward into your father's chest.

Your mother's footsteps were quick to arrive as she knelt down and took up your father, holding him in her arms.

"Honey, I'm right here," she says. A tear streamed down his cheek as he glanced up at his beautiful girls.

"Never forget that I love you all." And then, as he fell limp on your mother's lap, life left his eyes. As you gazed up at your mother, the screams resonated across the forest. Her eyes were welling up with tears.

You had no idea what was going on, but you knew something had changed.

"What's wrong with daddy, Mommy?" She slowly turns to you, pulling you closer to her breast and kissing you on the head with moist lips.

"He's gone, daddy's gone."

----

"NOo, noo stop this. I don't want to remember this." As Davina chases you down, shouting out to you, you begin to flee the scene. You come to a halt and turn to face her, yelling at her.

"Is this a joke or something? Your spells, you witches." As you fall to the ground grasping your arms and gently rock back and forth, tears begin to flow from your eyes.

Davina finally reaches you and attempts to calm you down by wrapping her arms over your shaking body. Your heart felt like it was racing at 100 miles per hour and you couldn't stop it. Everything seemed a little too real. You didn't want to think about it.

It's not that you didn't believe it; it's just that you didn't want that memory to resurface in your life.

"Just wait and listen to me, y/n. I know it's horrible, but something good came out of it." You push her away from you as you leap to your feet, tears streaming down your cheeks.

"How did something wonderful emerge from my father's death, who died in my arms? DAVINA, HOW DAVINA." Davina frowns as she walks around, taking your hand in hers and leading you somewhere.

"You weren't the only one whose loved one was taken from them." You look up at her and stare blankly at her as she comes to a halt at a familiar location.

"How did we end up in front of the castle?" As inaudible sounds flow from her mouth, she begins to swirl her hands around. You stand there in astonishment as you are whisked away to someone's private quarters.

You and Davina both walk into a room where a young boy is crying into the chest of someone. As you recovered consciousness, you noticed that you were surrounded by the Original family, or at least some of them.

"We couldn't get the remedy to her in time." You stood there watching Klaus thrash around as he collided with a vase that shattered on the ground.

You shifted closer to the young kid as you observed him as his brother shouted out to him, "Niklaus." As the rest of the family walked out in tears and small sniffles, you shifted closer to the young child.

Jake was there; you had no idea his mother had died. It had never been mentioned before, so you were taken aback.

The little boy crawled onto his mother's chest as he sobbed into her chest.

"Mommy, come back to me, please."

"I'm ready to leave right now." You took her hand in yours and gripped it strongly. You were prepared for anything the world could throw at you now that you had this new knowledge. Although it was painful to revisit that memory, you chose to use it to your advantage.

Your father raised a fighter, not a wimp. You wanted to honor his memory rather than mourn it, and I feel Jake should as well.

"This is for you, Dad,"

With that, you were transported back to reality, and you found yourself back where you started. You instantly stood up and exited her room.

"Hey, where are you going?" 

You came to a halt, raised your head, and shook your head, saying, "Acceptance."

She waved you off with a smile on her face. You brushed yourself off as you walked out of her house, mentally preparing yourself for the road ahead.

----

You felt more alive when you woke up in this house. Although the work was endless, you earned something greater than it all, A friend. Your mother groaned as you rolled over and landed flat against her backside.

"Mmmh, mom, I think it's time for you to get up." "Mmmh, five more minutes," she mumbles as she yawns on your shoulder. As your body moved up off the bed and towards the blinds, you giggled. You chuckled as you let the blinding light move into the room as you heard your mother's nasty shrieks.

"Sweetie, it's Saturday; it's a free day today. Go hang out with your friends." As you fall to the floor, she kicks your body off the bed. You giggle as you walk towards the shower, scoffing at her acts and mumbling words to her.

"Have you noticed, Mom, that I only have one friend?" You chuckle as you take a step into the shower and let the suds run down your body. As you wash slowly, your thoughts begin to wander.

You were reminded of your previous outburst with Jake as the water flowed over your body.

"Shit"

You felt the chilly air hiss against your body as you stepped out of the shower and hastily wrapped a towel over your body from the shelf. You noticed that the girl in the mirror had a different smile. She felt happier and more grateful.

You cried out to your mother as you opened the door and entered the frame.

"Yes, darling?"

"Get ready. I'd like to take you out for a picnic." She grinned and drew you in for a hug while cocking her head to the side.

"That would be fantastic. I'll take care of everything. You don't worry, okay?" You grinned as you shut the door behind her and returned to your self-pampering.

"It's going to be a terrific day today."

As you rested your head on your mother's shoulder, you held the picnic basket tightly in one hand and your mother's hand in the other. It was moments like these that made you long for your small family. You spread the blanket on the ground and placed the goods on it as you chuckled.

"My two lovely ladies are here."  When you raced towards your father, he stretched his arms open wide for you. Your mother took out her little camera and snapped a candid shot of you two.

"Don't forget about me," as she made her way over, your father pressed a kiss on her lips as you all sat down on the grass.

As you stumbled towards the basket, your little fingers pointed to it, saying, "Mommy, open". Before you saw the glorious fruit in front of you, a small pebble made its way in your path as you trip on it.

As a result, your father gracefully caught your small body in his grip while you giggled.

"My princess, you need to be more cautious. I can't have my pretty girl all beaten up."

You chuckled as you kissed his forehead and said, "OK, daddy, me be careful." You dashed over to your mother's side as he let you go, and she handed you a strawberry.

Your smile widened as you jumped up and did a small dance as you bit into it. Your parents stood there in astonishment as they watched you eat some more fruit.

"Is it good y/n?" You giggled as you ran around them, shaking your head up and down, as they simply watched their exuberant kid spout forth incoherent words. They smiled.

'I love you, honey,' she said. Light kisses on her temples were exchanged by your father while your mother rested her head on his lap.

"I will always love you."

Finally, with everything in place, you sniffle and wipe a stray tear from your eyes. Your mother immediately turned to you and rubbed your arm as she drew you closer to her.

"Hey, sweetheart, what's the matter?"

"I miss him," you said as you drew closer to her.

She smiled as she rocked you back and forth, kissing you on the head.

"I miss him as well. This brings back memories of our picnics with him." As you reached for the basket, you shook your head. Before removing the famed strawberries, you smiled. You chuckled as tears streamed down her cheeks after delivering them to your mother.

"Thanks for this, y/n." You were both crying as you rested your head in your mother's lap before entwining your hands.

"Anytime mom, but I do have to get going. I need to speak with someone, and I'd prefer to do so now before the situation escalates."

Before biting on a plump strawberry, she laughs and smirks.

"Tell Jake I said hi." "Wait, how did you know?" you start to stand up as you freeze in place.

As she pushes you toward the gate exit, she shakes her head at you. You blow a kiss to her, embarrassed and honestly surprised, as she yells at you.

"Use protection."

You cringe as you race towards the gate, not even looking back. You came upon a guard at the entrance who winked at you as you stared at him.

"Oh, Mark, shut up." After saluting you, he chuckles and returns to his former stance. Making your way to his chamber, you slowly knock as you hear his voice on the other side of the door.

As you slowly come in, you notice him at his desk, working, and you move your glance in his direction.

"Oh, look who it is?" As your lips fell, his eyes rolled at you.

"Hey," you say as you approach him and take a seat in one of his sofas. They felt like marshmallows, and you spent your days and some nights in them.

"Let me explain before you go all pouty and stirred up." He doesn't even move as he goes about his business. You kick his chair while rolling your eyes at him, eliciting a yelp from him.

"Fine, I'm listening, what?" he says, smiling as he scoots over to you and places his hand on his lap.

Not only did the close proximity make your heart race, but his position didn't help matters either.

"So, for starters, I'd like to apologize for my outburst. We both know if they're a problem we can freely discuss it. That's something that's been on my mind for a while and has now exploded, but it's not your fault. I just don't think I belong."

He approached you with a puzzled expression on his face as he moved forward. You look around, worried, as you cough.

"What?"

"What you just said made me pause because you and this family know how important you and your mother are to all of us, especially to me. I'm sorry you feel that way. My family can be difficult at times."

As you push past him and land on his colossal king-sized bed, you scoff "Yeah, tough how about, protective, vengeful, murderous, and hot-headed? That's a lot better." He laughs as he pushes you over and lays down next to you, a little closer this time.

"I can't argue with that, but you still love us. Right?"

"Yeah, I do love yo-" As you rolled over and smacked your hands in your face, your eyes widened.

"Yeah, go ahead and spill your secret y/n."

You kicked him as you rolled back on your side, facing him, rolling your eyes. As his hand landed on your leg, the newfound electricity between you two shifted.

Before his hand lightly moved up your leg, he grinned at you. He came to a halt and stared at you, waiting for a response. You softly shook your head as he continued as his hand came to rest on your chin.

"You must have been waiting a long time for this one, dude, ain't I so attractive," you chuckled before scooting closer to him. Before extending his delicate hands towards your lips, he reddened.

"Shh, also what happened yesterday? You said this wasn't right, didn't you?" As your desire overtook you, you became irritable.

"Oh, shut up and kiss me, people change Jake." you said as you drew him closer to you and your lips smashed together furiously. As he pushed you over, you both synced up quickly, and he was on top of you in no time.

"Oh how the tables have turned," says Jake. You had definitely changed as your body craved for his touch even more. As you threw your arms around his neck, pressing him closer to you, his lips never left yours.

His shirt was ripped off and dropped to the ground in a flash as he touched yours, hoping for a response.

"Yes, you may remove it." He stopped and peered at you, chuckling, as he slowly pulled it above your head. You subconsciously flew your hands to your chest, concealing your body.

This was the first time a boy, much less a Mikaelson, had seen you half-naked. Jake's mouth falls open as he rushes to unlatch your hands.

"Hey, don't hide your beauty, because I love each and every part." That made you grin as you approached him and kissed him on the lips.

"You haven't even asked me to be your girlfriend yet, and already you're behaving cringy. Maybe this was a mistake." As you begin to rise, you smirk. Jake grabs you and pins you down before you can even get a foot off the bed.

"Wait- stop, wait, don't go" You chuckle as he kisses your frigid body while you squirm under his touch.

"Ahhh, please stop tickling me...ahh." He comes to a halt in his actions to look at you for a little moment.

"I can't believe we've reached the point where we've gone from friends to lovers. It feels like some teenage drama."

(Am I right readers, don't we all love a trope like this... I know I do.)

This isn't a book; it's real life, and can we please get back to making love? Jake, the readers are waiting." He continues to laugh as he gently removes your bra as he completes the last clip.

He didn't have time to marvel at the beauty in front of him as you placed your hand on his hardening spot. This elicited a tiny moan as he swirled his lips around your soft nips.

"Mmmh, wow, don't stop, that feels great." You quickly remove your jeans and underwear while his tongue works its magic, placing his hand within your folds.

"This is my first time; wow, I'm not sure whether I'm doing it correctly." Wow!" As a moan explodes from your throat, you laugh.

"Stop playing me; you're making me laugh. I'll show you the way." He finds a groove in your folds as he pushes faster and deeper, striking a familiar area, while your eyelids roll back.

"AHHHH, Jake, right there."  As your back arches off the bed, thrusting deeper into his finger, your body reacts perfectly.

A knock on the door is heard just as your high reaches you, and you both pause and look behind you.

"Prince Jake, you have been summoned to the royal room to receive a message." Before Jake speaks to him, you both remain silent for a few moments.

"Thank you very much; I'll be out for a minute."

Before he turns to face you, you cover your lips with your hand. Before pulling away, he bends forward and kisses you on the forehead.

"You're not going to finish me off, are you? You can't stick and dip; it doesn't work like that." You start arguing with him before he bends in and kisses your folds.

"I have to get going, and if I'm late, I'm toast. You did mention that my family is what now-" You shake your head as you push him off your body and start putting your clothing on.

Another knock is heard as the door slowly begins to open and a familiar face appears. Jake rushes to conceal your half-naked body as Elijah walks in.

As you lowered your head and snickered, it felt like a million pairs of eyes were on you. Jake covers your body with a blanket before pulling up his pants and walking towards the door.

He flashes a big grin at Elijah before crossing his arms and stepping closer to him. "My dear brother, keep your indiscretions to yourself," he yanked his handkerchief from his pocket before handing it to Jake. Another familiar figure arrived in front of the entrance as he saw the chaos unfold before his eyes.

Kol appeared behind Elijah before chuckling as he crossed his arms, "well, well, well looks like someone having fun." He gave you a wave as he walked out of the room, smiling to himself. You turned away and mentally slapped yourself as soon as he said it.

"We'll be out in a second. Please visit us again." Before turning around, Jake slammed the door shut. While yelling under his breath, his reddened face brought you your garments.

"Please forgive them; they enjoy barging in here unannounced. I'm sorry if they saw anything." You're hauled up by him before you can secure the button on your jeans. He kissed your lips as he assisted you in putting on your shirt.

"Okay, I'm definitely not going to get tired of those." You kiss his lips once more as you pull his shirt closer to you.

"Mmh, your lips are soft. As you approach the door, you take Jake's hands in yours before gently pushing it open.

“We will definitely finish this later.” As he plants a kiss on your hand, he smirks. Before enlarging your gaze, you licked your lips.

You moan under your breath, "Oh, I can't wait," as Jake discreetly lays his palm over your mouth.

“You’re already a mess for me, aren't you?” He comes to a halt in front of the door and cups your face in his hands, kissing your hungry lips.

“As much as I would love to kiss you,” you say as you rest your palm on his chest and giggle. "Let's hurry up because I don't want them to come back and dagger you." He took your hand in his and led you to the throne room.

---

Jake strides over to his family's gathering and excuses himself, letting go of your hand. You took a step back and stood next to Mark, who was looking at you with a curious expression.

"So...how did it go?" Then, after a brief scan of the area, you struck him across the shoulder with your fist.

"Aren't you guards supposed to be quiet? You do know we all have vamp hearing." After chuckling at your remark, he returned to his job.

Besides Jake and I, Mark was the only person around our age with whom we both became close as we basically all grew up in the castle. Although being the only female in the group, they made up for it.

We all had our own ways of having fun in those late evenings, so there were many nights of loud laughter and sticky fingers. Those were the days, but now Jake had his royal duties, they were a thing of the past. Everyone seems to be set in their ways.

When your name was called, you were swiftly brought out of your thoughts. They didn't seem to know you were there, but you knew it was true when Mark bumped your arm.

"Uh.. yes. I'm here, your majesty."

Walking over to the gathering, you stood next to Jake as you heard his booming voice; still to this day, you could never get over that.

"So, y/n, you and your family have been so kind to not only the Mikaelson family, but the entire kingdom. And we thank you for your service, but we've heard rumors that my father is planning to travel to our country to assassinate our future heir."

You exhale, your body trembling as you clasp your hands behind your back. You weren't old enough to recall certain details of the attacks.

This was how horrible it was 

As he gazed down at you and winked at you, he entwined his fingers behind your back and whispered, "It's going to be okay."

As he stepped up from his throne, Klaus began again, "So, once again, I'd like you to protect and guard him while we're out; you've had plenty of training for this, so I'm confident you'll do fine. Finally, you are responsible for whatever happens to him."

He was now directly in front of your eyes as he kept a wary eye on your flimsy frame.

Thanks for the extra pressure. 

Jake gave him a gentle push back as he walked in front of you and coughed "Okay, don't scare her. We've got a lot of security in place, and I'm an original here who can take care of myself. I don't want to put anyone at risk, especially y/n."

As he acknowledged you specifically, it warmed your heart. He squeezed your hand not only to show that he was paying attention, but also to make you feel comfortable and secure.

Klaus grinned as he walked away from you, both of you speaking in a condescending manner.

"Our father has not and will not stop if we are alive in the past centuries, and now that you are of legal age, he is coming to take advantage of that opportunity. Our father's reign is far from done. After all, it's more for y/n than for you. Take a look at her. Do you believe she'll be able to defend YOU?" 

Your heart stung as you gasped in pain as you yanked your hands from his grasp. As you took a step forward, tears welled up in your eyes. You coughed as you drew Klaus' attention, enraged and honestly taken aback.

"No one has the right to treat me like an outsider just because I'm not a member of this family. Instead of making trouble and fleeing, why not stay and fight like a brother once in a while?I've done more for Jake than YOU could possibly do.

You turned and walked away from the family, tears streaming down your cheeks. A hand grabbed your wrist as you flung it off of you. Before exiting the room, Elijah caught Klaus just as he was ready to explode with wrath.

"This meeting is over. After 30 minutes, we'll be on our way." As you raced away from Jake, he called your name.

You heard shouts of anger from Jake as he yelled at Klaus.

However, he has never been able to see what you and your family went through to safeguard his prized heir. They were going to get a guard if they wanted one, and a good one at that.

You vowed to prove to them, and particularly to Klaus, that you belonged here.

You got to a familiar area and pounded on the door, enraged, as she approached the door.

You hurried by her and sat down, your hand outstretched as you glared angrily at her. "Oh hey—," she said. As she sat down gently across from you, she rubbed her chin and arched her brows.

"Okay, no hello or nothing. That's awesome, what's up?"

"I'd like to see him; please, show him to me right now." She chuckled, as if she'd read your mind. You wanted to prove yourself to someone. And he was the only one who had a clear idea of what needed to be done.

She sliced your hand and poured the liquid into the stone bowl as she spoke. You sat up straight and became ready. As soon as you closed your eyes, you were transported somewhere else.

---

Davine touched you on the shoulder as you sat up straight and followed her instructions by moving forward.

"You just have a few minutes, so work quickly. This is a difficult spell that becomes weaker by the second."

You stood up, shook your head, and walked over to the man perched precariously on the ledge, his feet dangling dangerously in the air. After a few minutes of sitting next to him, you began to become worked up.

"I was curious as to when you planned to pay me a visit. Princess, how are you?" As tears welled up in your eyes, you turned around in astonishment. He looked exactly the same as he did that night. His black slacks matched his stained white collared shirt.

He was perfect, still 

"I miss you, dad." Upon entering his embrace and taking in his smell, he extended his arms and welcomed you in. The lingering woody smell filled your nostril as you held onto him tighter.

"Hey, love. Whatever you're going through right now, I have complete faith in your ability to get through it. I didn't raise a wimp; instead, I raised a powerful warrior. Don't allow them get to the point where they're controlling your thoughts. What is it that I usually say?"

"Life struggles are necessary for growth."

You continued his sentence with the words "life struggles are necessary for growth." He pecked your head and held on for a little bit more.

"Y/n we have to go; the spell is slipping."

When your father saw you, he got to his feet and stood up. His hand went to your face as he noticed all your new features. He seemed intent on studying you, as if he wanted to make up for the time he had lost by not seeing you.

"I'm very proud of the women you've grown to be. I'm so proud of you, y/n. Remember that and know that I am always here for you." As a tear rolled down his cheek, he pointed to your chest.

You gave him one more hug as you raised your eyes to see his face.

"I love you, dad."

"Princess, you have my undying love. Now go out there and confront the world. Fighting for you always."

Davine held your hand as she guided you back to the present moment in time. You observed his disappearance as you bid him farewell by waving.

As soon as you regained consciousness, you hugged Davine and thanked her for her time. Afterwards, you left.

"Don't worry, y/n you got it. I've had my fair share of the Mikaelson family, so don't fret. I'm here for you."

You took a deep breath and then made your way back to the castle, smiling as you did so.

You already knew who you were on the inside; you didn't need an all-powerful family to confirm it for you. You only needed a little nudge to remember who you truly were on the inside.

The princess in your father's eyes.

"Thanks, Dad, this one for you."

[poguesrforlife]

Young and Beautiful | Rudy Pankow - Part 3

Okay first of all I’m sorry it took me so long but here is part three finally. Honestly I don’t know how to feel about this because at first I wanted it to be a filler chapter and then I thought I couldn't let you hang like this so I just poured it all out. I still have some more ideas about where this might go but you guys tell me if this feels already finished to you. AND AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! for all the love and support you give, I see you all and couldn't be more thankful xxx

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Trigger warning: alcohol, swearing, nothing too smutty, a little angst and a lot of jealousy

Word count: 3,741 word (god this is so long I’m sorry)

Y/N just got the role of her lifetime, starring beside the cast of Outer Banks in the second season as JJ’s love interest. It’s a dream come true and gets even dreamier when she meets Rudy Pankow her alleged love interest. Lines start to blur between reality and film and Y/N is left wondering if taking a leap of faith is worth risking her career.

[GIF not mine credits to owner]

Days passed and filming never stopped, neither did the thought of Rudy in your mind. It was constant, the sun rose and so did your thoughts of him, the night came and so did he in your dreams. By now you were convinced that this feeling would not go away anytime soon.

Maybe some distraction would do you good. 

“How about we go out tonight?” You proposed to the girls as you were lounging in your living room, painting toe-nails, scrolling through instagram and what-not. 

“Like out out?” Madelyne’s face lit up as she looked up from her bright yellow nail polish and passed the same expression to Madison. You nodded with a smile.

“I’d be down,” Madison agreed and sprang up from the couch in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, this is exciting! Let me call the boys,” Madelyne exclaimed and got up, waddling weirdly with her still wet toe nails to her phone on the kitchen bar.

Your face fell for a second. That was not exactly what you had in mind. You wanted a distraction from Rudy and him dancing in a sweaty club with beautiful women wouldn’t really help your current state of emotions. But you couldn’t let the girls know that. After shooting the other day they wouldn’t shut up about how one could feel the sexual tension between the two of you and you were just happy they hadn’t seen the sex scene.

“You good?” Bailey inquired as she noticed your sour face. You were quick to plaster a fake smile on your lips.

“Yeah, I’m just tired of sitting around all the time. This will do us some good!” You headed towards the bathroom to get a shower before going out and also to have a moment to yourself to prepare for tonight.

“The boys are down as well!” You heard Maddie scream from the kitchen and then she passed by you as fast as she could to look through her wardrobe. 

“Somebody is excited,” Bailey muttered beside you but joined her friend with a grin and helped her pick out something to wear. 

A couple hours later you were dressed to kill and ready to go. Even though you loved the Outer Banks clothing style, it reminded you of your hometown, it was nice to doll-up every now and then. Madison was taking pictures of you three in the big mirror besides the entry when you heard a knock on the door.

Madelyn was quick to open it and you were met with five handsome men staring back at you.

Chase escaped a whistle when he took all three of you in but you noticed how his eyes stayed on Madelyn just a bit too long. You made sure to remember asking him about it later. 

“Well, hot damn,” Rudy exclaimed as he entered the apartment and his eyes landed on the short dresses you were wearing.

“Eyes up here,” Madison warned him with a smile and pointed to her own brown ones.

“Not fair,” Austin gasped, clearly thinking you were playing with their feelings. Maybe you were. When Bailey had proposed to impress some folks tonight you at least had a special someone in mind. Who was to say the others didn’t have too?

Your eyes wandered over the boys outfits, all dressed up and looking incredibly handsome. Rudy sported a cream sweater and a cute little beige hat. You didn’t know why he would wear a hat to go clubbing but you knew he loved them. 

“Are you ready to head out then?” Drew smiled at you in his bright yellow shirt and motioned towards the door.

You piled out the door and headed downstairs to get an uber to your favourite club.

“I’m not sure if I like you in heels, Y/N. You’re almost as tall as me,” Chase pointed out as he walked behind you and took in your much taller figure.

“You’ll just have to deal with it, I guess,” You laughed and did an immaculate pirouette on your heels, something you had practiced a thousand times in your room back home.

“Would you look at her,” Madison squealed with joy as she watched your boost of confidence and joined you by linking your hands together and strutting down the sidewalk like it was a runway. 

It felt good to really feel yourself again after your uncertain emotions. Even though you noticed how a certain male’s eyes kept looking at your and your friend’s long legs, you didn’t care at the moment. You were having fun and you deserved it. 

All of you split up into several cars and then you were on your way to La Push, a vibrating ambient establishment the cast had dug out last year while filming in Charleston. The girls swore that you would have the best night out ever at that particular club.

You were not disappointed as you took in the colourful lights shining on the rustic open brick walls and the retro bar in the corner. The ages of the people were mixed all through but you could clearly see that everybody was enjoying themselves.

“Drinks?” Deion asked and nodded towards an empty table next to the bar and you all headed in the direction through the crowded area of dancing bodies.

“Milady.” Rudy offered you his hand with a posh English accent as you were about to try mastering a step in your heels. 

“Thank you, kind sir,” You smiled at him and put your hand in his and let him help you down. You couldn’t keep yourself from curtsying as he laughed at you playing along. His hand held yours tight in his as he led you to some barstools. 

“Gin Tonic with a lemon slice for the lady?” He ordered with a questioning look in your direction once the bartender got your attention. You couldn’t believe he memorised your go-to drink, as you nodded thankfully. “And a Corona for me please,” He finished and watched the bartender tend to your order.

After he payed for both of your drinks you thanked him, almost having to scream as the music was too loud, and he grabbed your hand back in his to help you down from the stool.

“Sure thing, sugar.” He gave you that unmistakable Rudy smile and once again the butterflies in your stomach began soaring. 

You had to pull yourself together. You were here to distract yourself from him not fall deeper for his charm. Although you had to admit he was not making it easy for you. 

Your other friends had ordered at the table and were ready to clink glasses once you joined them. 

“To a great night,” JD proposed and raised his glass.

“And to great friends,” You joined in and held up your own Gin Tonic.

“Hear, hear,” Austin agreed and the whole group cheered in joyous laughter as you brought your drinks to the middle. You greeted the familiar taste of the alcohol with open arms and enjoyed the light burning you were quite used to by now. 

Once you set your glass back on the table, Bailey raised a brow at your already half empty glass and you simply shrugged your shoulders. You needed to let loose tonight. 

“Dance with me,” You screamed over the music and grabbed her hand and your drink and made your way towards the dance floor.

Madison was the best dancer you knew and she proved it to you once again after some R&B music started playing. Your hips were shaking, your arms wildly flailing around and your feet shuffling over the floor as you downed your glass quickly. You already felt slightly buzzed, maybe you should have eaten more before going out. 

Jonathan joined the two of you quickly, just as good a dancer as your dear curly friend, and together they stole the show. You watched in awe as they moved to the music so carelessly and were a bit jealous at their easy-going nature. 

“C’mon Y/N, show me what you got!” Drew encouraged you suddenly from beside you with an outstretched hand. You slipped closer to him and swayed your hips as he twirled you around in his arms and laughed as he dipped you back. Maybe the distraction would work after all. You didn’t know for how long the both of you danced but you felt absolutely weightless. 

“I’m impressed Starkey,” You admitted as he flew with you over the dance floor, not once missing the beat. 

“Could say the same about you Y/L/N but I had a feeling you would be a good dancer,” He smirked and turned you around so your back was pressed against his chest and let his hands wander to your hips. 

At this point you were on your third drink, a bit too intoxicated, and not quite sure if this scenario would play out well. Drew was the perfect gentleman and absolutely sweet and handsome. You liked him a lot but… But he wasn’t Rudy. His hands on your body didn’t feel like a wildfire and his scent didn’t drive you crazy and his smile did not make your head spin. You cursed yourself for these thoughts. 

You looked up, your eyes roaming the club for a certain blond head of hair. You noticed Chase and Maddy dancing intimately with each other in one corner but chose to ignore it, you had a different mission. 

“I’ll be right back,” You told Drew with an apologetic smile as you turned to look at him and he looked confused for a second. “I’m just going to the bathroom.”

“Be careful in here, it’s better if you don’t go by yourself,” He reminded you, always the protective type, and looked out over the club probably searching for Bailey.

“I’ll be fine,” You reassured him with a pad on the chest and slipped out of his embrace towards the restrooms.

On your way there you finally found your man of the hour. To your amusement Rudy was dancing with an elderly woman to some pop song and looked like he was having the time of his life. You felt the corners of your mouth lifting as you took in the scene. 

You slipped into the restroom to freshen up as your eyes met the mirror. The carefully applied makeup from Madison was smeared under your eyes, your lipstick long gone and your hair was basically a mess. But despite all you looked happy, you looked alive. You quickly touched up your appearance and rejoined the others. 

As soon as you stepped out however you were met with quite the unpleasant sight. There was a beautiful woman next to Rudy, one arm on his biceps as she leaned forwards to say something to him. It shouldn’t bother you, you knew that he was an attractive man with many qualities. But as his hand rested on her waist your throat tightened and you felt embarrassment deep in your bones. Of course he didn’t want you the same way you did. It was just acting and you were friends, it didn’t mean anything. But it had meant something, to you anyways. And that’s what you got for giving into your feelings. You watched them laughing together, inching closer to each other each second and your heart burned in pain. 

You turned around stumbling to your table as you tried to suppress the tears welling in your eyes. How could you have been so stupid? It was a stupid crush nothing more. 

Drew’s eyes lit up as you made your way towards his sitting figure at the table next to some of your friends. You had two choices here: Going home now and giving in to your stupid irrational feelings and ruining your night. Or doing what you were here for and distract yourself with a fucking good time. The answer came to you immediately.

“I don’t know about you guys but I was thinking about some tequila!” You proposed with a big fake smile as you looked at your friends and the others cheered in chorus.

“A round of tequila shots for the table please,” Chase told the waiter and soon enough salt, limes and shot glasses filled to the brim with the transparent liquid were brought to you.

“Cheers bitches!” You clinked glasses, licked up the salt on your hand, downed the shot of the devil’s brew and bit in the sour lime and laughed at the faces the others made after finishing their own shots.

You were having a good time tonight, even if it took killing your mind to do so. Which seemed to be the only option after another round of shots and some more Gin Tonics and you still felt like shit every time your eyes met Rudy’s figure. The girl from before was long gone but you couldn’t help but feel betrayed. How did he not see that you were obviously hooked on him? 

He came back to your table were everybody was laughing and having a good time, everyone except you it seemed.

“Are you alright?” He asked and plopped down beside you, throwing his arm over the couch behind you.

“Just peachy,” You heard the slurring in your voice yourself not as clear as you wanted it to be and cringed a bit. But just because you were drunk that didn’t mean you had a problem. You were fine.

“How much did you have to drink?” He inquired concerned and you saw his forehead wrinkle. Your hand automatically reached out to brush his worry away.

“What’s it to you, sugar?” You deliberately used the nickname he had given you before and you actually saw a smirk on his face as you drew your hand away from his forehead, the sour expression gone.

“I think it’s better if I take you home,” He laughed when you fell back against the couch trying to look mad at him.

“I can take myself home, thank you very much,” You argued, your words still a bit slurred. He could take the fucking girl from before home for all you cared. He hadn’t spoken to you all night and suddenly he wanted to take care of you. That’s not how that shit worked.

“Besides,” You interrupted him as he was about to say something else, “You didn’t dance with me all night. I really wanted to dance with you,” You pouted and cursed yourself a second after you registered what slipped out your mouth. Your eyes widened and you sat back up. Maybe you had an alcohol problem after all.

“Then dance with me, sugar.” Your head whipped around as soon as you heard him. He leaned back against the couch, an easy smirk playing on his lips as he eyed your figure. He never looked sexier to you.

“Let’s go then!” You jumped from the table, a bit too fast and swaying a bit, but you had to prove something to yourself. You could easily be friends with Rudy without any sexual tension. You just had to separate him from your roles in your head.

His arm sneaked around your waist seconds after and he pulled you down towards the dance floor, making sure you didn’t miss any steps like before. The feeling of his hand around you drove you insane so you grabbed it and shove it away with a grin. You were perfectly capable of walking by yourself. He just laughed and shook his head at your swaying figure. You were not sure what exactly was so funny to him in this moment. 

His hands however found yours again quickly as he held them and twirled you around carefully, pushing and pulling you every which way. You absolutely adored him but you needed distance. God, why had you willingly agreed to dance with him? Well, it had been your idea but anyways. 

You were glad when a faster song by Lizzo started and you entangled yourself from him to sway your hips on your own. Not many knew it but you danced a lot better when you were drunk for some reason. You were a lot less uptight and celebrated every body part of yours with free flowing moves. Rudy obviously enjoyed your newfound confidence as he mirrored your carelessness to the beat and cheered for you. The both of you were singing along to the music, jumping up and down and shimmying back and forth, having the time of your life. At one point you stole his head and put it on yourself, convinced that you looked irresistible with it but Rudy just laughed and got it back before throwing to your table where Austin caught it with a grin.

“Have I told you how good you look tonight?” He screamed over the music as he pushed himself closer to your body. His scent invaded your space and you immediately forgot why you had wanted distance from him in the first place.

“Tell me again,” You giggled and got closer to him as well. The songs changed again, something more sultry and slower, maybe the Weeknd or Miguel you weren’t sure as your attention was directed at yet another man.

“You look absolutely radiant,” He breathed and his alcoholic breath mingled with yours that’s how close you were.

Rudy’s hands found your waist again and this time you didn’t push him away. The opposite, you rested your hands on his broad chest, feeling his fast beating heart under your right hand. He pulled you closer as you were obviously giving in to him and swayed his hips against yours, the movement making your head spin.

“Are you drunk?” You asked him. You needed him to be sober so at least one of you would remember this moment tomorrow after everything else faded away. You needed him to remember how your bodies felt pressed together in this moment. How your hearts were beating in synch to the bass rocking through you. 

“Absolutely intoxicated,” He answered with a straight, sexy voice. He didn’t sound drunk to you but his words proved you different. 

“Maybe we should-“ You stopped mid sentence as you pulled back and saw his hungry eyes directed at your lips. Whatever you wanted to say left your senses in that very second.

“…stop?” Rudy finished your sentence questioning but not making any moves to stop any of this, whatever this was. “I don’t ever want to stop. I just wanna spend forever getting high off what it feels like to be around you.”

Your breath caught at his words and your eyes slipped from his lips to his blue eyes, illuminated by the club lights occasionally. You saw the hunger in them, the unmistakable lust that was a hundred percent mirrored in your own y/e/c eyes.

He described perfectly what if felt like to be around him, like you were high, intoxicated by him. And that feeling, you never wanted it to end. 

“I’m drunk…” You told him but let out the ‘on you’ part that definitely was a part of this sentence.

“I know, me too. And I know we shouldn’t do anything that we might regret tomorrow,” He took a deep breath and one of his hands cupped your face. “But I can’t stay away from you any longer.”

“I feel the same,” You admitted and bit your lip to keep a smile from showing on your face. But it didn’t matter as Rudy’s lips moved into a grin.

“If two people can’t stay away from each other, maybe they aren’t supposed to.” You nearly groaned at his annoying habit of always being able to say the perfect thing at the right time. 

You moved closer to him, your arms slung around his neck and your hips still slowly moving to the music. Your eyelids dropped as your mouth longed for his, feeling his breath on your lips.

Unexpectedly soft his mouth landed on yours, so different from the kisses you shared on set. His lips slowly moved with yours, taking his time to get used to the feeling. And even though the heat from the other times lacked it was no less passionate. You poured every fibre of your being into kissing him and really feeling him. He tasted like tequila and forbidden dreams and if you weren’t drunk before, you definitely were now.

Rudy became more needy as the kiss went on, his lips moving faster and his hands pulling you closer against him. When his teeth caught your lower lip you were done for. Without any regard for reason you gave into him. His tongue slipped into your mouth battling with yours for dominance. Your mouths bumped clumsily against each other as you were smiling into the kiss, teeth biting here and there occasionally but you couldn’t care less. You had waited for this for too long to show any signs of hesitation. After what felt like an eternity you pulled apart, breathing heavily. Your eyes locked and it felt like ecstasy was coursing through your veins.

“There you are! We’ve been looking for you for at least an hour.” You were thrown into ice-cold water as JD’s voice pulled you back into reality. You looked at him, the rest of your friends heading towards the door. Rudy and you shuffled apart awkwardly and fixed yourself a little. Your short dress had ridden up and his hair was all over the place.

“C’mon guys, we’re leaving!” Chase shouted from afar.

Your eyes wandered to Rudy, a content smile lying on his swollen lips as he stared at the floor. His hand slipped around yours and he pulled you after him, walking backwards so he could look at you.

“Our little secret,” He said with a wink and cupped your cheek in his other hand, before pecking your lips once again secretly and then following the others outside and to the Ubers taking you back to your flats.

You were still not fully understanding what had just happened, if it was all a feverish dream caused by the alcohol. But every time you thought that this could only be in your imagination Rudy’s hand on your thigh or around your waist pulled you back into reality. This was no longer part of a role, this was real life. And you would enjoy every second of it.

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(I hope I didn’t miss anyone! If you’re not on here but would like to be send me a quick message xx)

[hopelessromantic1352]

New Beginnings - Chapter 6

The time has come to find the cast for Beautiful Endings, but since Natalia can’t find the right actress to play Alexandria, Thomas presents a strong argument for an obvious option. And there’s some jealous Hunt in here too for all you weak Thomas fans 🤤🤣

Word count: 2,828

Perma tags: @drstrange46ers Thomas tags: @alleksa16 @alj4890 @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @choicesmakemychoices @marycarrillo21 @lxaah11 @kuladekiwi @ajayismybae @choices-dan @miss-indecisive-says @mfackenthal @ethanplaysfavorites @amillionmoonsred @usuallyamazinglyaverage @thethots-plicken @hhiggs @jlpplays1 @lilyoffandoms

After a few days of calling actors and actresses and meeting with them, Thomas and the crew has not come any closer to finding a cast. Natalia has dismissed every actress on his list, along with every actor besides the one they’re meeting with today. But, the way things have been progressing, he wouldn’t be surprised if she denies this one as well. Although he knows the man is charming enough to get a role he wants and the way he spoke when Thomas called him, he truly does want this role. When Ryan wants a role, he is talented at knowing exactly how to tune in to his character to wow directors or producers. His handsomeness, along with his natural people skills, are enough to woo anyone into wanting him in their cast. With that natural talent, he will easily fit into the character of Mr. Carlisle.

Thomas and Natalia are sitting side by side on his couch, Addison is next to her and Holly is next to him. All four have notebooks, scribbled with notes and information for each actor. Everyone hears Thomas’ front door open before the potential actor walks in the living room, causing Addi to stand up and hug him excitedly.

The movements cause Natalia to look up and she takes a sharp breath in when she sees the actor who might possibly be playing the handsome business man in the film. His striking features and pristine blue eyes, cause her mouth to open slightly as she gazes upon the Hollywood heartthrob. Immediately, she can see this man portraying Samuel Carlisle.

“Ryan, I’m so glad you’re here! This is Natalia York, the author of Beautiful Endings.” Addison is barely containing her excitement.

At the mention of her name, Natalia stands, setting her notebook and journal aside before she looks up at the actor. She smiles as usual, a warmness surrounding the tender gesture and she extends her hand towards him which he takes happily.

Thomas rolls his eyes when Ryan kisses the back of her hand softly, allowing his lips to linger against it longer than needed. Annoyed by the obvious flirting, the director clears his throat loudly, sending a glare at the actor who he considers a friend.

Ryan grins at him, whispering something to Natalia that makes her laugh and covers her mouth as she glances at Thomas.

“If you two are quite through, I would like to finish today’s task. Which, unfortunately, revolves around Mr. Summers.” The sharp tone Thomas speaks in causes everyone to quiet down and to take their seats.

As Natalia sits next to him again, she gives him that little grin that always tugs on his control that keeps his seriousness in check. But his frown doesn’t falter, he feels a twinge of jealousy and he curses internally before he looks down at his notes.

“Hunt, I know you’re always uptight, but you should try to loosen up when you're in such extraordinary company.” Ryan teases with a smirk as he glances at Natalia, winking.

Her smile widens and she shakes her head, trying to refocus on the task at hand instead of the two handsome men in the room. And she couldn’t stop herself from glancing at the man next to her. She could have sworn he was jealous. She had noticed his subtle change in demeanor. The glares he sent towards Ryan, him rolling his eyes, and the deadly tone which he spoke in to get everyone’s attention. But perhaps she was being ridiculous. She knows how professional he is and how quickly he wants to start filming, so he most likely is just annoyed by her dismissing every actor and actress so far.

Sighing quietly, she looks up at Ryan. “Thomas is right, we should begin so we may move on to the next step.”

The actor nods and pulls his phone out, opening up the email Thomas had sent him. It contained a few lines from the script. He took a few moments to memorize them, before clearing his throat and launching into character. These particular few lines Thomas sent were from a scene that Natalia wasn’t sure would be in the actual film, but the context made it easy for her to discern whether or not the actor could portray her Samuel Carlisle.

She watches as Ryan pulls his phone out, pretending to answer a call with a charming smile pasted on his face that is evident in his voice as he begins to recite the lines.

“What if it was mutually beneficial for both of us?”

His seductive tone makes Natalia smile. So far he is acting the scene out exactly how she would picture Samuel to act. As he finishes the “call”, Thomas nods and writes a few notes down before he turns to Natalia.

She leans towards him, whispering quietly in his ear. “I believe he captured the character quite well. His appearance,” she pauses and glances at Ryan, looking at him closely with a small smile before she leans back to Thomas’ ear. “He is exactly what I pictured for Samuel.”

Although she was speaking in a hushed, professional tone, her warm breath dancing across the back of his neck urging goosebumps to show themselves on his skin. It takes every ounce of self-control Thomas has to keep his face stoic and free from any emotion. Having her this close to him, in front of others, is not something he particularly enjoys. Not when he has those childish emotions boiling up inside him. Not when Ryan is standing right there. He wishes he could tell the suave actor not to touch her. But, that is not his place. Especially since he does not wish to ever go back down the rabbit hole of love ever again.

When she pulls away from him, looking at him expectantly, he just nods and stands, extending his hand to Ryan.

“You have the role. We shall inform you once we know when filming will begin.”

Ryan breaks out into a broad smile, his eyes lighting up in excitement causing Natalia to grin. He shakes Thomas’ hand and grips his arm good-naturedly.

“Thanks, Hunt.” After releasing the director’s hand, he turns to Natalia. “And thank you, Ms. York for the opportunity. I’m excited to work with you.”

Quickly, she stands and smiles warmly at him. “I’m thrilled to work with you as well, Mr. Summers.”

Addison and Holly are gathering their things, but when they both hear Ryan’s flirtatious tone, they stop and glance at Thomas, then at each other, smirking.

They can see the older man’s jaw working as his lips form into a deep scowl, his eyes hardening as he observes his friend flirting with Natalia openly.

“Please, call me Ryan. And call me whenever you want.” He winks at her and smiles when she quietly giggles.

Thomas groans and rolls his eyes, turning away from them and walks into his kitchen. He gets a tumbler and a bottle of scotch, opening it and pours himself two fingers. He leaves the bottle opened on the counter, taking a small sip as he walks back towards the living room. He notices the two are still engaged in the conversation and he shakes his head.

“We will be in touch, Ryan. Hopefully soon I can let Thomas choose an actress to be your co-star.” She laughs and glances back at the director with a fond smile, “I’m certain he is ready to either fire me or throw me out by now.”

Ryan chuckles and keeps his eyes glued to Natalia. “Hunt would be an idiot to get rid of you.”

“I believe it is time for you to take your leave, Summers.” Thomas fixes a glare on his old friend.

The actor nods and smiles at everyone before he says his goodbyes and heads out. Not long after, Holly and Addi are standing with Natalia, talking about the film. And Ryan.

“He is quite handsome. I’m not sure I’ve met someone like him before.” Thomas swears he can picture the awestruck expression on her face and he groans again.

Addison’s giggling reaches his ears and he decides to go out to the group instead of hiding in the kitchen. He needs to take her mind off the actor and back on… the film.

“Natalia, we must focus on who we will cast as Alexandria, not girlish fantasies.” His disapproving frown makes Holly smirk.

The screenwriter glances at Addison, subtly motioning towards the front door and the blonde nods excitedly.

“Well we will leave you to it. Let us know who you cast!” She wraps Natalia in a tight hug before she moves towards Thomas.

He holds a hand up, shaking his head and sends her a warning glare that makes her shoulders drop.

“You should know better than to show any affection towards our resident grouch.” Holly continues to smirk, looking at Hunt knowingly before the two girls say goodbye and leave.

When the two are finally alone again, Natalia sighs, falling back into his couch. His eyes move to her and they soften immediately at the sight. Deep inside him, he can’t help but feel a warmness settle knowing she feels comfortable enough to make herself at home in his home. He enjoys seeing her in his space.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Her polished voice breaks through his distraction and he shakes his head out of his straying thoughts. He focuses on her face, eyes falling to her lips before he meets her gaze.

“Do you have an idea what you would like to see from the actress who will play Alexandria?” He moves into the living room, settling onto his couch next to her once more.

The question urges her to sit up, grabbing her notebook again and flipping through it randomly until she shrugs. “I don’t know how to explain exactly what I want from the woman who will play her.”

Thomas looks at her profile, thinking silently as he takes in the elegant curves of her face. He still has not ever tired of simply observing her. She tugs her bottom lip between her teeth and he forces a groan down before it can escape his mouth. He clears his throat and shifts, turning towards her.

“Perhaps you can show me. When I cannot feel as though I can properly explain what I want from my cast, I attempt to show them.”

She continues to gently gnaw on her lip until she turns her focus to him. Her voice is quiet and timid.

“You wish for me to… act it out for you?”

A simple nod is his only form of response, but she can see that familiar glimmer of reassurance in his eyes as they soften. Sensing he won’t let this go, she takes a deep breath and stands, grabbing her script to flip to a scene. The lines she reads are more intimate than others, but she’s certain she can portray what she wants through this scene.

But perhaps…

“Would you mind running the scene with me?”

Again, a nod is his only response until he gets his own script and begins flipping through the pages. “What page?”

After she tells him, he finds the scene and clears his throat as he feels his cheeks beginning to heat. Usually, this type of scene would not bother him so much, but playing it out with her, that will prove to be difficult.

“Would you like to begin or have Samuel start it?”

His voice has deepened and he keeps his gaze focused on the lines. But she is oblivious to how this is affecting him. Although her nerves are rising, she manages to speak.

“Perhaps you should start. It will give me a chance to feel it out.”

Thomas clears his throat, pointing to the line he’s starting at. He takes a deep breath and settles into the character.

The scene she chose is intimate, the first intimate moment between Samuel and Alexandria. The two had been flirting constantly and the sexual tension between them had grown at an alarming rate. This scene is the final breaking point for them to realize their feelings and give in to them.

“I must admit, the time I have spent with you has been unforgettable, Alexandria.” Thomas, or Samuel in this instance, moves closer to his counterpart.

Her breath hitches audibly and her lips part as she looks up into the dark eyes she’s found much comfort in as of late. She remembers her line as his hand tentatively reaches for hers, softly touching her palm with his fingers.

“Mr. Carlisle, what are you—“

He places a gentle finger on her lips, quieting her before she can finish, just as the script advises.

“Samuel, and please tell me you have felt the same spark between us. I cannot focus on anything except you. Whether you are in the room or not. You consume my thoughts.”

Natalia thinks back to the script, but his touches fluster her mind. Instinctively, she moves closer to him, her own fingers lacing together with his. When his soft gaze meets her own, she relaxes and the lines come flooding back.

“Samuel, the way you have described how you feel towards me is beyond my expectations, but,” Her head tilts back as she looks up at the man her heart has begun yearning for and settles her chocolate eyes on his mouth. “You have no inclination how much I have longed to hear those words fall from your lips.”

She watches as Thomas, or Samuel, smiles widely. The simple sight takes her breath away and she looks up at him in awe. The finger that was on her lips slides down and under her chin, tilting her head up more. His smile grows slightly as he can see the look in her eyes.

“Thomas…” Her voice is strained, her heart is beating wildly as both fall out of character.

She can see his eyes darken at his name falling from her tongue and he tightens his fingers around hers. The intimacy of the moment is so perfect, neither want it to end, but as he dips his head to meet her lips, his phone ringing jolts the two apart.

He mumbles an expletive when she turns away from him again, much like yesterday in the guest house. He opens his mouth to say something, to get her back into his arms, but that damned ringing pulls him away to the kitchen to get his phone. She allows herself to turn and watch him. Her heart is still racing, but she bites her lip to hide the wide smile threatening to break through.

When she hears him answer his phone, the deep voice travels through his home and reaches her ears. His voice, his eyes, his whole self, it all is something she’s turned to for comfort in these past many weeks. While she listens to him speak to someone about the film, she closes her eyes, allowing his soothing sound to calm her. The two moments they’ve shared have proven he finds her at least somewhat attractive and that alone excites her. But the way he has looked at her those two times is beyond any description that comes to her mind.

As she picks the script up, looking over the lines, her smile drops as a realization hits her.

He’s an A-list director. A former model. He can act.

He can act.

Perhaps he is simply playing along to not hurt her. After all, he has access to beautiful models, actresses. Women surely flock to him. She sighs and shakes her head, trying to rid herself of those thoughts.

If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be treating her to his guest house. He wouldn’t compliment her. She is simply being immature and allowing ridiculous insecurities bother her. She’s come to know Thomas. To trust him. And he has come to trust her. She knows this.

Releasing a breath, a smile washes over her as he comes back to the living room. She turns towards him and he swallows hard, obviously nervous after their encounter. Instead of her bringing it up, she just reassures him by squeezing his hand gently. She nods once, her eyes showing her understanding before she pulls back and motions to the script.

“I hope I showed what I am looking for in Alexandria.”

Relieved, Thomas offers a hint of a smile before he turns serious.

“You did, and I have an idea on whom we could cast.”

“Oh! Wonderful. I promise that if you think she will be the best, then I will simply allow you to choose.” Her soft giggle fills his ears and warms his heart.

Seeing his eyes focusing on her lips again, she clears her throat before she speaks up.

“So, who is she?”

He straightens, setting his jaw as he looks at her with confidence.

“You.”

[mermaidsirennikita]

bridgerton--the good, the bad, the ugly

The short of it: Bridgerton excellently captures the tone of Regency romance novels and offers a lot of escapism and great sex scenes, but could definitely use some serious work in terms of how it depicts race and it should have made some further alterations to the dated and flawed source material.  Definitely loved a lot of it and am hotly anticipating the second season, but I want to see more work done and I HOPE that this encourages the adaptation of better (and less inherently flawed) romance novels.

Now for the longer take.

The Good

Bridgerton depicted sex and romance in a way that is totally different from anything I’ve seen in period dramas, for sure, but possibly different from anything I’ve seen on TV.  The romance of it all was woven into almost every aspect of the show. There is the handsome and seemingly severe but extravagantly wealthy and sexually adept duke sweeping into town.  The (multiple) rakes who just want to have fun while also being hot messes.  The awakening of female sexuality and the copious use of the female gaze.  (Note the pretty modest and minimal focus on female nudity, while we get plenty of lingering shots on Simon.).  People want love!  There is pretty minimal violence and perhaps the most physically violent scene involves Simon beating a man up because HE IMPEACHED DAPHNE’S HONOR~.

The sex scenes themselves focused on Daphne’s pleasure for the most part, and were probably among the best I’ve seen since Outlander in terms of chemistry, in terms of the visuals, in terms of focus on sex as an act of emotional connection and FUN. Yes, there was some Unlikely Vaginal Orgasming, but we also saw Simon tell Daphne about masturbation.  On the wedding night, he was pretty clearly touching her to help her enjoy it.  He ate her out... a good bit.  

And aside from that, we got all of the grand speeches, the stolen glances and touches, an excellent buildup of sexual tension that led to some pretty hilarious moments.  

I also really enjoyed many of the performances on this show.  Rege-Jean and Phoebe had great chemistry and excellent back and forth.  Jonathan was a GREAT Anthony.  I would argue that as lackluster as I found his relationship with Siena (more on that in a minute) it largely existed as a way to set him up for his romance with Kate.  He now has even more of a reason to be down with love, as opposed to solely relying on a kind of flimsy tragic backstory.  Additionally, his overprotectiveness of Daphne added tension to the story and made him a source of comedic relief for me?  I loved it.  Give me disaster Anthony all day; can’t wait until he falls to the enemies to lovers trope just like Simon fell to his FLAW-FREE fake dating plan.

A lot of the changes I found were really good.  Obviously, it was important that the show incorporated greater diversity (though they need way more).  Benedict was INFINITELY more fun and interesting than he was in the novels, and acted as another standout for me.  As much as I hate Portia Featherington, I think that the elevation of her to a proper villainess is probably necessary and Polly Walker excels at those types of roles, though they need to maybe have her be less like, actively racist.  I adored the addition of Queen Charlotte; she was excellent comic relief.  Lady Danbury’s expanded role and relationship to Simon was one of the best moves they made.  It touched my entire soul.

Buuuut....

The Bad

The show needs to work on casting more men that are frankly on Rege-Jean’s level.  It feels a bit awkward to see a guy that is by most people’s standards kind of stunning and then.... Colin looks twelve.  Lord Philip is like... a farm guy.  Get rid of the sideburns, we’re in romance novel territory.

In the same note, the girl who played Siena wasn’t a great actress and wasn’t super stunning, so even though I’m fine with her being a placeholder....  Eh.  Go for better casting.  The woman playing Madame Delacroix would’ve played that role so much better and I really enjoyed her dynamic with Benedict because she was just fun.

Frankly, I don’t know what the fuck they’re going to do to make me want to watch Penelope and Colin fall in love.  Their book was already a bit basic--fun, but far from revolutionary.  I don’t really get why they would receive attention similar to that of Kate and Anthony, basically.  The issue is that Colin, again, looks and sound rather young and twerpy.  It obviously wasn’t great for him to be tricked into raising another man’s child, but.... For fuck’s sake, how much would that have affected his life on a practical level.  He’d never know unless he was told, thanks to the lack of DNA tests.  He was marrying far out of his league in terms of attractiveness.  He’s a rich white guy in England with a supportive family.  

I really disliked the fact that Colin told Marina in his huffy little tantrum that he would have married her anyway--because would you have, buddy?  Really?  The thing is that Marina had no way of knowing that and her entire life (and the reputations of her cousins) was on the line.  She didn’t know if she could trust Colin to keep her secret.  They barely knew each other.  He basically came off as a whiny child and I’m fine with him staying in Greece if that’s the plan.

Penelope was just... psychotic.  And that was really disappointing, because I love Nicola and would love to have loved to see the fat girl get her sexy love story.  But first off, lol, it wouldn’t have been sexy because Colin was miscast.  Second, she basically tried to destroy Marina’s life and that of her sisters?  And herself?  Because Colin?  Because Colin, a guy who hasn’t even shown any amount of attraction to her at this point?  Her tears, her whining, it was all too much.  Penelope was dealing with a crush and Marina was dealing with the real Grown Woman issues of a child out of wedlock and as it turned out a dead lover and they were not on equal footing.

I mean, Penelope could very well make a great villainess at this point, and if done well I’d embrace it.  But I do not know how the fuck they can make me interested in her love story.  And the idea of her basically being launched into villainy because she was this chubby white girl obsessively jealous of a beautiful black woman...... not a great look.

The show definitely needs to explore diversity in terms of sexuality too--I don’t think it’s correct to read Benedict as straight because he still seems to be open to exploring.  Once he has more screentime, I think he could totally end up being bisexual, and it’s possible that the writers were trying to feel the audience out in terms of their receptiveness to taking a straight character who has a big straight love story in the books and making him LGBT+.  Eloise could also easily be a lesbian, and I’d be thrilled to see that happen.  They need to do something to expand the world, and if there are 8 Bridgerton kids, all of them being straight as an arrow seems SO unlikely.

The Ugly

Obviously, the rape scene was bad and should have been written out.  Simon could have gotten caught up in the moment and blown up at Daphne after he accidentally didn’t pull out in time.  Men.... accidentally don’t pull out in time... a lot.  That’s how babies happen.  It would’ve been believable, and due to our sympathies being with Simon largely, I don’t think he would have become irredeemable if he was more at fault than Daphne.  

As it was, I will say that the scene was somewhat better than it played in the books because Simon was conscious and totally sober, and it was a bit?  Confusing?  That he didn’t just roll Daphne over and pull out?  Because she wasn’t really clearly trying as hard as she was in the book to wrap her legs around him and hold him tight.  But it remained a rape scene.  The show also did a better job, I think, of establishing how fucked up it was that Simon took advantage of Daphne’s lack of knowledge.  Whatever he said about thinking she knew what was up--he knew she didn’t even know about masturbation.  He had to know she wouldn’t understand what pulling out meant.  He did very clearly mislead her to think that he was sterile and therefore denied Daphne her ability to give informed consent.  Did that justify what Daphne did?  Nope.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.  But both of them did a fucked up thing and I think that we honestly could’ve stopped at Simon’s misleading.

The issue too is that this leads into a bigger problem the show had.  It wanted to include diversity (yay!) but did not consider the total implications of what was happening (not yay).  Daphne and Simon’s dynamic is inevitably influenced by the fact that she’s a white woman and he’s a black man, regardless of whatever handwaves happened.  This influences the sexual assault and makes it even more messy.

Speaking of mess, I’m not sure what exactly would have fixed the “we don’t want this to be a colorblind casting” issue... but the explanation they came up with wasn’t good.  Never mind that this makes everything SUPER confusing (racism is over like..... maybe 50 years MAX after Queen Charlotte’s marriage if we assume she was a teen when she married and is in her 60s now?) but Lady Danbury’s dialogue explaining this was HORRENDOUS.  “One of them fell in love with one of us”.  The implications are awful.  I don’t know if perhaps setting back the integration of society centuries earlier would have helped?  But this wasn’t it.

Additionally, the writers and casting directors didn’t seem to get that diversity is all well and good, but what about the fact that almost every black character has a light skin tone?  Why are there so few black female characters?  Why is Marina, the most prominent woc on the show, given the “pregnant and desperately trying to trick a man into marrying her until her jealous white cousin fucks her life up and she is humiliated into settling for a loveless match” plot?  I desperately hope we see her next season, falling in love with Sir Phillip or perhaps having experienced a plot twist that gives her someone else...  And she better not die. Eloise can find someone else if Marina really ends up with Sir Philip.

Ultimately, again, I really loved the show.  But it needs to work on some things.  I think that a lot of its issues can be addressed and fixed in a future season, and I HOPE they do that.

[wwilloww]

assless chaos | jjk

Pairing: Cowboy!Jungkook x OC!Lainey

Genre: Wild West. Crack. Fluff.

Rating: 18+

WC: 1.5k

Warnings: Assless chaps. Swearing. Bad dialogue. Like really bad dialogue. Ass worship. Infidelity. Making out against a portrait of Colonel Mustard.

A/N: This is for @hobiance. Meant to be read with a nice little western twang to it. Like you’re chewing a piece of straw and tellin’ a story round a fire. I let my dramatic self out on this one, so please judge this fic based on the description of Jungkook’s ass, not the quality of writing, thank you very much.

Based on this ask:

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©️wwilloww Do not repost, translate, or copy without express permission of the author. 

ASSLESS CHAOS

“Ma’am?” The graveled voice of the cook crackles through the still air of the parlor as she sticks her head through the door. “You have a visitor.”

Lainey sighs, tipping the heavy book back just enough to peer over at the woman standing in the doorframe.

“Who is it?” she says, boredom lacing her tone, going back to her reading.

“A very handsome young man.” The older woman winks at her. “He says he has something to show you.”

Lainey’s brow furrows in confusion. Her cook speaks up over the silence, placating her uncertainty.

“He seems like a nice young man, ma’am. I think I recognize him as one of your husband’s men.”

“Alright, Bonnie, let him in.”

The double doors to Lainey’s parlor swing open — and then slam shut again with a loud bang. However, despite the loud noise, she doesn’t bother to look up from the book propped up in her hands.

“If you’re here to see my husband, he should be back by supper,” she calls from behind the pages. No one answers. The heavy but familiar sound of honest to goodness cowboy boots clicking against the hardwood floor echos through the office and it’s not until she hears them come to a halt in front of her desk that she looks up.

“Jungkook,” Lainey gasps, standing from her chair.

“Ma’am.” Jungkook tips his hat towards her before taking it off in a sign of respect. He tosses it casually onto a chair in the corner of the large room.

“I-I thought I told you—”

“To stay away?” Jungkook cocks an eyebrow and leans over the desk towards her, hands flat on the mahogany.

“You can’t be here,” she hisses. “Not now, not in my home, not—”

Her words are cut short by Jungkook’s hand reaching up to pinch her chin. Her eyes shoot open in shock. Such a simple gesture — and yet, she can’t help but feel her body react to the electricity that zings through her body as skin meets skin. It’s been so long since her husband, Taehyung — or really anyone for that matter had touched her like this — trapping such gentleness, such love in the smallest of movements.

“It wasn’t fair for you to ask me to stay away,” he pouts. “How could I? Especially when you look like this.”

He straightens up again, releasing her from his grasp. Lainey watches, mouth gaping as he rounds the desk to come stand before her.

“How could you,” she pokes him in the chest, “when you know exactly who my husband is? As the mayor, and soon to be governor, he runs this town. He’ll have his gun cocked and pointed at your head as soon as he sees you here.”

“You really think I’m worried about that?” Jungkook drawls. “You don’t think I didn’t know exactly what I was riskin’ when I came here?” He stands hardly a foot away and Lainey is forced to look up at the handsome man. His hair is parted sleekly to the side, the deep, rich color gleaming in the golden evening light that shines through the window. As much as she knows she should tell off the man standing before her, something in her chest tugs, begs, Please. Let him stay. He stands so close that she can smell his natural mix of sun and desert emanating off of him. He smells like something comfortable, like something she wants to fall into, like — dare she say it? — like sex.

Just as he’s leaning in, his lips parted oh-so devilishly, Lainey puts her hand to his chest, stopping him.

“You said you had something to show me,” she says hurriedly, her voice quacking ever so slightly.

Gaze still locked on her lips, he smirks. “Of course, I nearly forgot.”

“What is it?”

“Remember the governor’s ball, nary a month ago?”

How could she forget? The fateful night Jungkook finally pulled her behind the curtain of the stage and asked if her lingering gaze meant that she felt the same way he did. They exchanged confessions of adoration as Lainey’s husband stood just twenty feet away, giving his speech for his governor’s candidacy. The two of them confessed their love to one another behind the rich velvet curtains, only to swear any action on behalf of their throbbing hearts. Even after Lainey had slipped back to her husband’s side, her gaze hadn’t left the figure of the young cowboy, eyes roving over his strong frame and supple ass. Drinking him in was like tasting the sweetest of poisons.

“I remember,” she says softly. “How could I forget?”

“Then you’ll appreciate these.”

Jungkook rips of his chaps, the snaps popping off and scattering across the floor. As she takes in what lays beneath, Lainey slaps a hand to her mouth, a gasp ringing through the air.  

Below lay a second pair of chaps.

Assless chaps.

“What in gods good tarnation are those,” Lainey gasps.

“Chaos. Assless chaos.” Jungkook takes a step closer until the pair stands chest to chest. “I know how much you like my ass —” Warmth creeps up her cheeks and she attempts to duck her head in embarrassment of his acknowledgment. But he’s quick to put a finger below her chin, nudging her head up so that she’s looking at him again. “—The way you can’t keep your eyes off of my blessed cheeks, even when your husband is standing right beside you with his arm around your waist.”

“I—” Her words stutter to a halt. All Lainey can think is that behind the beautiful man in front of her are two shining, round, perfect peaches, juicy and just begging to be squeezed. She nearly swoons at the thought of all of that cake, exposed to the room.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Jungkook murmurs. “I know what you’re thinking.” He takes her hands, which have been clutched to her chest, one in each of his large palms. Ever-so slowly, he brings them around his back and places her palms on his exposed ass.

She can’t help but give the slightest of squeezes.

Firm. Juicy. Perfectly round.

“It’s like they were sculpted by the gods,” Lainey murmurs, breath stolen by the utopian orbs beneath her hands. Never in all of her prairie-roving, stallion-taming days has she ever come into contact with such a faultless ass. Even without sight, she knows there’s no ass in this whole country that could rival the one she grasps in hands this very moment.

“My heart though,” Jungkook whispers. “My heart has been sculpted by you.”

Brought back to the moment, Lainey realizes who she is, where she is, who she’s with. She takes a step back, releasing Jungkook’s beautiful ass as she does. Her heart flutters at his words. Even as the sound has long cleared the space, she feels like she can still feel the vibrations of its echoes.

“We can’t,” she breathes, hand snaking up her torso and coming to rest above her pounding heart. “You know how I feel. You know how I… how I love you. Love you and that matchless ass of yours. But there’s so much more to consider.”

“Is it not enough for you?” He takes a step forward, just as she steps back again. “Is having me and a show-stealing ass not enough you? I fucking won the county fair with this beaut.”

“I know you did. And you won this heart, too,” you add so softly the words barely lift into the air.

If only she could melt into him, allow him to take her away somewhere far from the plaid ballgowns, the cow auctions, the dry desert of this town. Wasn’t she made for something so much bigger? For the great beyond of life? Not the smallness that her husband expected her to don, the repetitive role he asked her to play every day the sun poked her head above the dusty earth and the cows woke for their milking. A role he never thanked her for, either.

“I’m here to ask you to run away with me,” Jungkook says. 

Lainey looks up at him.

The man before her holds a great expanse within his stallion soul. One she wanted to fall into. One she wanted to explore and map and know like the back of her palm.

Like being struck by lightning during the rainy season, a bolt of understanding hits her. She wants this. Wants him.

Jungkook has her backed up against the large painting of Colonel Mustard that decorates the parlor, the yellow of his turtle neck casting a glow about the darkening room.

“Can I—”

“Kiss me, Jungkook.”

Jungkook leans down to her, his palms coming to cradle her face as he brushes his lips against hers. Soft at first. And then all at once.

It is a kiss that consumes. One that swirls up all the feeling in the world into one large tumbleweed of emotion and sensation.

She pulls away, just enough to let a single word slip from her swollen lips.

“Yes.”

The moment the word slips out, she knows it’s true.

“Yes?”

“Take me with you when you leave this godforsaken town.”

“Really?”

“I’m all yours, cowboy.”

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taglist: @usuallynervoussheep @hesperantha​ @myimaginationsrunningwild​ @ladyartemesia​ @thatlongspringnight​ @ppersonna​

[365days365movies]

February 19, 2021: The Phantom of the Opera (2004) (Part 1)

I love musicals.

Hands down, when talking cinematic adaptations of musicals, my favorite is Little Shop of Horrors. I’ve seen it MANY times, and will see it many, MANY more. And I’m not the only one. I mean, obviously, but in this case, I’m referring to my girlfriend. She’s chosen to represent herself with a GIF from her favorite musical, Hairspray. So, here she is:

Ravishing. Now, because it’s currently our anniversary, I let her pick today’s movie from my list. And so, she chose a musical that neither she nor I have seen: 2004′s The Phantom of the Opera. And some of you may now be saying, “What, this guy said he liked movie musicals, and he hasn’t seen TPotS? That’s like saying you haven’t seen Grease, or Singin’’ in the Rain, or, PFFT, West Side Story!”

...About that...

Yeah, yeah, I know! It’s insane, and I’m a hypocrite. I’ll be getting to the rest of those eventually, and one of them’ll be coming in the next couple of days, I promise. You can probably guess which one. Anyway, fact of the matter is that we’re gonna watch it tonight, and I’m looking forward to it. 

However, there’s another factor to this, and that’s the fact that this film...doesn’t have the best reputation amongst fans of the original musical. And, yeah, this should ideally be the Michael Crawford version, but the Butler version is the one I have access to, so we’re going for it. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

Paris, 1919, back when the whole city was in black-and-white for a year. They lost the budget for color after World War I. Anyway, at an old opera house, an auction is taking place, and items found within the theater are for sale. One of these is a music box with a monkey on it, an item which sponsors a bidding war between an older woman, and an older man in a wheelchair. I’m sure we’ll find out who they are eventually.

Anyway, a broken chandelier is also up for option, and was involved in the mysterious disaster of the “Phantom of the Opera” fiasco. They turn it on with electric light, and as they raise it to the ceiling, the organist goes fuckin’ NUTS. The song’s so loud that it REVERSES TIME, and we’re now in color, in the year 1870 at the same opera house.

The theatre, managed by the soon-to-retire Monsieur Lefèvre (James Fleet), has just been purchased by Richard Firmin (Ciaran Hinds) and Gilles André (Simon Callow), who are there to observe. On stage, a rehearsal for the opera Hannibal is taking place, and the costume’s are already...like, a LOT, not gonna lie. The headliner for the show is soprano (and drama queen supreme) Carlotta Giudicelli (Minnie Driver), and is being funded by patron Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny (Patrick Wilson). 

The background dancers are instructed by Madame Giry (Miranda Richardson), and include her daughter, Meg (Jennifer Ellison), and her adopted daughter, Christine Daaé (Emmy Rossum). As the rehearsal takes place, an accident happens on stage, almost injuring Carlotta. Enraged, she leaves, and refuses to perform.

Meanwhile, Madame Giry finds a letter from the Phantom, who demands his normal monthly salary of 20,000 francs, as for Box 5 to be left open. While the new owners think that this is ridiculous, they also note that it’s pointless without a lead singer for their show. 

However, Christine is volunteered, and shows that she is indeed a talented singer. The show goes on, and Christine is a smash, much to Carlotta’s dismay. At this point, Raoul also discovers that this is his long lost childhood friend (and possibly long lost love) Christine, which she also noticed earlier.

But this is because of a mysterious teacher, who sings to her from the walls of the theatre. Meg comes in to congratulate her (through song), and asks who her tutor is. Meg responds...in song (”Angel of Music”).

Afterwards, Madame Giry also congratulates her, and tells her that the Phantom is pleased with her. Right after, Raoul also pays her a visit, and the two reconnect on shared memories of times in an attic in the summer. She tells Raoul that she is visited by an Angel of Music, and cannot go to the dinner that night with him. And the Phantom agrees, as he locks Christine in her room. YIKES. 

And as literally every person in the theatre except Christine leaves, the Phantom serenades her, angered by Raoul’s presence, and Christine’s potential dalliance with him (”Mirror”). And through the mirror, he takes her to a mysterious crypt beneath the theatre. And as they sing their strange duet in the form of the title song (”The Phantom of the Opera”)...I try to resist talking about Gerard Butler until later. And it’s hard. It’s SO hard, guys.

But, OK, he takes her away on a...sewer horse...how the FUCK did he get that horse down there? And wait, WAIT, does he put her on that horse to walk her, like, 20 feet to the gondola? Like...WHY DO YOU HAVE THE HORSE? That is...monumentally wasteful. Where do you keep the horse? Does he feed the horse? How much? How often? With what? Does the horse eat the sewer rats? Is there naturally growing sewer hay? Does the Phantom’s salary go towards buying food for the horse, or buying new horses when the original ones DIE OF STARVATION - WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS HORSE?!?!? WHOMSTVE THE FUCK

And yes, I love this fuckin’ song (not the singers, but we’ll get there), but this is distracting me alongside the statues of naked men in the sewer, because...well, Joel Schumacher. What can I say, it’s kind of his aesthetic. Anyway, we get officially introduced to the Phantom of the Opera (Gerard Butler), a very handsome-looking man who likes wearing a half-mask.

I say handsome, because the Phantom in this movie, looks...fine. HE LOOKS OK. HE LOOKS LIKE A DUDE WEARING A MASK. What, did somebody throw a hot candle at his face once, and he freaked out over it and ran into the sewers forever...WITH A HORSE? NOT OVER THE HORSE SHIT.

Look, the Phantom is supposed to be HIDEOUSLY scarred. Famously, in one of the film adaptations of Phantom, actor Lon Chaney Jr. purposely distorted his own face using adhesive face in order to play the role of the hideously disfigured character. Now, other versions have just given him severe, and I mean SEVERE burn scars. But behind the mask, Butler looks...fine. HE LOOKS FINE GODDAMMIT. He looks like he’s wearing the mask because it looks edgy and shit.

But OK, what’s happening in the movie? Oh, right, more serenading (”Music of the Night”), with another song that I like quite a bit. This and the previous song were songs Id heard before, and that I’d already had on my playlist. They’re great, what can I say? Now is Butler doing it justice? Ehhhhhhh, we’ll talk about that in the Review.

During this song he kinda seduces her, or attempts to, and also shows her a wedding dress. She sees herself in it and IMMEDIATELY faints, Jesus!  Curtain falls on Christine while she’s in a bed, and we go back to her room, where Meg is looking for her. She finds the mirror, and is about to go back there, but her mother finds and stops her.

Meanwhile, stagehand Joseph Buquet (Kevin McNally) tells the chorus girls of the legend of the Phantom, and describes a physical description that doesn’t match him...even a little. We cut back to Christine, who wakes up in what my girlfriend refers to as a “bomb-ass HQ.” Which is fair, let’s be honest. Anyway, she heads over and tries to unmask her new masked lover (?).

He’s not the biggest fan of this, and he emos all over the screen (”Stranger Than You Dreamt It”). And then, as he puts his mask on, we suddenly (and I mean suddenly) jump to 1919, where the old woman, Madame Giry, bids farewell to...wait, that’s Raoul? HOW DOES HE LOOK SO MUCH OLDER THAN HER, WHAT???

Back in the past, inexplicably, the theatre owners and manager sing about the theatre and the Phantom’s demands ("Notes..."), and are soon joined by Raoul, who brings them a separate note, saying not to look for Christina any further. THEN, Carlotta joins them, delivering a letter of her own from the Phantom, warning her not to return to the theatre.

In his letters, he details how his theatre is to be run, threatening a disaster if Christine is not cast in the lead role, and if Carlotta is not cast in a silent role. However, the theatre owners and Carlotta refuse to obey, and Carlotta is cast in the role, as the owners try to appease her (”Prima Donna”).

That night, during a performance of Il Muto, Carlotta’s singing the lead role. Additionally, Box Five is full, and the Phantom is PISSED. So, like a Phantom do, it’s time for some good old fashioned petty revenge! He switches her throat spray, causing her to lose her voice on stage, and causing the audience to laugh when the show ends abruptly. They quickly and publicly recast the role, giving it to Christine instead. Well, mission accomplished by the Phantom! Guess we’re good without retribution. And then he hangs the stagehand.

Well...fuck, man. Realizing that the Phantom is EXTREMELY dangerous, Christine goes to save Raoul, who she...is in a relationship with now? Wait...wait, hold up, the fuck did I miss? I mean, yeah, he probably is gonna kill Raoul, but there is, like, NO lead-up to their connection before this point.

Anyway, as Christine explains that there is a Phantom when Raoul says he doesn’t exist...wait, WHAT? MOTHER FUCKER BUQUET JUST NOT MURDERED IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY WHAT IN THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN????? YOU LITERALLY HEARD THE...you know what? Break. BREAK. This is...this one’s tough.

See you in Part 2!

[jimlingss]

The Colour of Our Voices [7]

Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8

➜ Words: 3.8k

➜ Genres: 98% Fluff, 2% Angst, Slice of Life, Broadway!AU

➜ Summary: He wasn’t supposed to hear. He wasn't supposed to know. But the instant Jimin came into your life and pulled the curtains back, you couldn't hide backstage anymore. You were no longer merely a phantom of the opera.

cr.

The notes come deep from your stomach, drawing out between your lips. Tonight, tears prick at the corner of your eyes as you sing.    “Masquerade, paper faces on parade. Masquerade, hide your face, so the world will never find you….”   You don’t know why you feel so emotional. Why the Phantom’s heartbreak and misery feels like your own. But you put your heart and soul into each lyric, and the director isn’t furious at the different take of the song, of how your voice even warbles past the thick lump forming in your throat. After all, the performance tonight is one of the most important ones that’s happening in a long time.   “Did the critic say anything yet?!”   “I don’t know, but she’s talking with the director right now.”   “Oh my god. This could change everything,” she squeals, the two of them equally excited and peeking out of the curtains. Everyone is gathered together, supporting roles and backstage members watching the audience slowly trickling out. “Do you know what this means?!”   “Of course, I know what it means,” she snaps.    “Well, I’m just saying.” The other girl pouts. “If the critic gives a good review, we could be back in business. More people coming, more money, better production, more pay! This place will become less like a dump. I won’t have to be embarrassed when I say I’m part of the female ensemble for Phantom anymore.”   “Let’s just hope the director won’t screw it up.”   “He won’t….right?”   “Shut up, they’re coming!” Everyone quickly resumes their previous activities to appear nonchalant.    “—And this is just our backstage crew. It’s a very modest set, but we do our best and everyone is very hardworking. Every person here does their part—” Director Kang is with a black bob-haircut lady who’s four foot eleven with kitten heels. She reminds you of your fourth grade science teacher who would make the rowdy kids cry.   Her cat-like eyes are narrowed in, and she grips her bag strap slung over one shoulder as she views the place with an impassive expression. The director drones on and on and the critic sighs before someone catches her attention.   She approaches the godly man. “You must be Kim Seokjin.”   “Yes, I am. It’s nice to meet you…”   “Min Yoonji.” She shakes his hand, and you muse that she must be one of the rare people in the world that doesn’t seem affected by Jin’s handsomeness. Almost everyone is starstruck by him. “I must say, your performance is very spectacular. Especially your singing. The tone quality of your vocals is very outstanding for Broadway theater.”   All at once, your breath hitches. Your heart stutters. Tears form in your eyes again.   You’re standing in the shadow of the curtains, in the corner where others are walking past, but to hear praise from someone who makes a living scrutinizing...it’s a beacon of hope.   “Of course! You shouldn’t expect any less of me.” Seokjin laughs and almost brushes off the compliment in spite of how touched and grateful you feel.   Yoonji isn’t amused and deadpans, “Frankly, I didn’t expect anything.”   “Seokjin’s the star of our show!” The director puts his hand on the younger man’s shoulder, trying to uplift the mood. The critic was awfully difficult to read. “Without him, we wouldn’t be able to go on! Speaking of which, you should meet our other star. Where’s Taeyeo—”   “Can I look around for a second? You’re really invading my personal space here,” the woman states bluntly and the men are alarmed at once, stepping back.   “O-Of course. My apologies. How about I get you some water?”   “Sure.”   The director struts off with Seokjin — the both of them furiously murmuring to each other in panic and before he can bark at you to go get the best glass of chilled water, the girl gossiping from earlier shuffles to them. She’s more than enthusiastic about running this sort of errand — perhaps hoping that she’ll be noticed by the critic or something of the sort.   You commemorate her for taking every opportunity.    “Hey, you.”   Your thoughts are shattered at once and you tear your eyes away from them to the short female in front of you. Your pupils widen. “Can you scratch my back for me?”   “Pardon?”   “Here.” She turns slightly, never repeating herself twice. Your hand automatically lifts out to scratch and her neck lolls. “Higher. Lower. Right there. God. Feels good.” Once satisfied, the posh woman steps away. “It’s been driving me crazy for the past hour and I haven’t been able to reach it.”   “Uh...you’re welcome…”   “Min Yoonji,” she says lifelessly. “But you probably already know that. Seems like everyone’s excited to meet me here. Don’t even get this treatment when I go home.”   Yoonji sighs and steps away, but you stop her. “I’m Y/N.” The female turns around. “L/N Y/N.”   She nods and stares at you blankly as if wondering why she should care what your name is. But since you scratched her back, she entertains you. “What do you do here, Y/N?”   “Sweeping, mainly.”   “Sweeping?” The corner of her red-stained mouth curls and she scans the premise. “What’s there to sweep?”   “Beats me,” you laugh.   A small, modest smile comes across her features. It’s the most genuine conversation she’s had here so far. “So all you do is sweep?”   “Well, I’m actually the voice of Pha—”   “Y/N!”   You’re interrupted by an abrupt yell from the director, the sound bellowing deep from his stomach. He approaches with a stiff grin that nearly breaks his face, Taeyeon in tow. “What are you doing here? Slacking, are we?” He comes next to you and practically bumps you aside. “This is our shy intern. She’s part of the backstage crew. Get on now!”   He shoos you away like you’re a stray dog, and you open your mouth. But the director moves on to introduce the female star of the show and Yoonji shifts her attention away from you without qualms. “This is Taeyeon. She plays Christine.”   “Yes.” The lights behind her eyes dim like earlier. “I saw. I was in the audience.”   They shake hands, continuing to speak. You’re forgotten in the dark as they move away from you, walking towards the dressing room.   One of the girls walking past shoots you a dirty look and scoffs, “Did you really think you could tell her that you’re a ghost singer? You really want to sabotage us?”   That wasn’t your intention.    But it wouldn’t be a lie if you told her that you stand in place of Seokjin, that you deserved that praise she handed to him.   It’s not a lie.   Once the meeting is over and everyone escorts the critic out, the director passes by and discreetly mutters into your ear, “In my office.”   You drag your feet there, feeling the crew members stares, the looks from those with supporting roles. This time, no one smirks, murmurs, or makes snide comments. It’s serious enough that they don’t dare to do anything unnecessary for fear of being reprimanded by the director too.   Getting called into his office is never a good thing.   You walk in and two minutes later, he enters, sees you and sighs. The man rounds to his messy desk and sits himself down.   “I’m very disappointed in you, Y/N,” he starts off.    “I’m sorry.”   He hums, hands clasping together. “When you went behind my back to audition, I didn’t say anything. I get it. You want to try out, I won’t stop you. But to think you have the audacity to betray me right in front of my face is a kind of disrespect I won’t allow.”   “That—! That wasn’t what I was trying to do,” you weakly defend, hands crumpling into a tight fist. He obviously doesn’t believe you.    “Then what was your intention?” He shakes his head. It’s a question you can’t answer. It was reckless for you to let it slip, especially to someone who’s a critic. It’s supposed to be a secret, one you’ll have to die with. “I understand you’re not a loyal employee, but it hurts me. What have I ever done for you to go behind my back and be this sneaky?”   Another rhetorical question.   With a downcast head, you stare at the way your worn shoes are pulling apart at the seams. You swallow hard, past the thick lump in your throat. Your eyes begin to sting. You’re humiliated.    “I gave you this job because you were pitiful. You think we need an intern around here?” His mocking laugh rings. “No! But I, out of the goodness of my own heart, decided to help you! I even let you sing when you begged for it! Have I not bent over backwards for you?!”   You shut your eyes for a second. “Y-You did, sir.”   “How many years have you been stuck in New York?” It’s a sudden question, one where he expects an answer for.   Your teeth grit and you murmur, “One year, sir.”   “How many casting calls have you been to, Y/N?” At your silence, he asks you again. “Be honest with me. How many since you got here?”   “T-Ten.”   “How many roles have you gotten?”   “None,” you whisper quietly and your jaw clenches.   He asks again just so you can hear yourself, for you to repeat it. “None?”   “None.”   “None!” he exclaims loudly, enough for you to wince, and he sighs. “See?”   The man feigns sympathy. “There’s a point where it becomes more than just singing. It’s about if you have something special. You just don’t have it, Y/N. Yes, you can hold a steady note, but you can’t be on stage. No one would ever want to watch you!”   It’s grating to your ears. A muscle in your cheek twitches. You can’t hold it in — you start sniffling.   And the director sighs once more, spinning around slowly in his swivel chair while you’re still standing there, hugging your own frame. “Don’t make me into the bad guy, Y/N. I don’t want to be so blunt, but you give me no choice. Facts are facts. Why do you have to be tricky with me and ruin this production? Are you that upset with me? Angry with me?”   “N-No.”   “Then why can’t you just be happy with what you have? Is this job not more than enough for you? Why must you keep trying?”   You rub your eyes. He continues tantalizing you for another minute and then looks at your patheticness and dismisses you out of guilt. He tells you to think about what he said.   You leave sobbing. Not out of anguish from him belittling you but out of rage.    Not even your own mother talks down to you like that.   This job a privilege?! You can’t believe you hypnotized yourself into believing that. This job is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s sabotaged you. People like him are the reasons you’re afraid of going on stage.   Once you exit the studio in tears, you find the black bob-haircut woman texting on her phone across the street, standing on the sidewalk. You look both ways and cross the road with stern determination.   Spite — contempt — resentment makes you into an ugly monster without remorse or consideration of future consequences. You inhale a staggering breath. And the truth is spat out.   “I’m the ghost singer for Phantom.”    Your voice breaks. You exhale. “I’m the one who you heard.”   Min Yoonji is alert. Her eyes are wide, looking back into yours.   You brush past her after a second, walking away and down the street.   //   You don’t know where you’re going. Your feet merely stumble forward, down busy Times Square till it becomes quieter and the streets are only known by locals. Your strides slow at a cozy coffee shop in search of a place that’s warmer, but as you look through the front windows, you find a blonde standing in line.   Your brows furrow and you sniffle one last time before opening the door.    “Taehyung?”   The tall, lean man turns around and a boxy smile spreads into his face. “Y/N?”   He must notice your glossy eyes and how you’re sniveling not just from the cold weather because he buys you a hot chocolate and asks if you’re alright. You nod, not wanting to talk about your issues, and he understands enough to switch the conversation to himself.   Taehyung’s presence makes you warmer.    “I just didn’t understand. He said yes and agreed he would go to the animal shelter and walk the dogs every week, but then changed his mind and then threw the job to me.” He sighs with a smile, tugging on the sleeve of his blue dress shirt. “I don’t mind, I actually love dogs, but that’s not the point. I swear my director’s so nice he can’t say no to anything. And then I’m the one who suffers when he decides he doesn’t want to do it.”   “Is that how you wound up doing improv?”   “Yes.” He grins and sips his drink.   You hum, fingertips warm against the paper cup. “So you have to walk dogs every week at the animal shelter?”   “Yes, and I’m also volunteering at the homeless shelter every other day during lunch. I don’t mind, but again, it was because the director couldn’t say no to other people. God,” Taehyung laughs, “He’s such a pushover. But I’m the real pushover for saying yes to him too.”   “Your director sounds like a really nice person.” You smile to yourself, wishing you had met someone like that.   “Nice or stupidly kind, I don’t know.” He shrugs. “But he’s an alright guy. Though half the time I feel like I’m just a servant to his whims.”   A deep exhale draws out of your lungs. “I know how that feels.”   Taehyung’s gaze is perceptive and he puts down his drink. “It’s tough to make it in this industry. But it’s like that for everything, I think. There’s nothing really easy out there. Even sleeping gets hard. So….don’t be so tough on yourself.”   “Thanks, Taehyung…”   He might not know what your job entails, but he has a good enough idea — and his intuition isn’t wrong.   The pair of you chat a while more. Taehyung unknowingly comforts you the entire time. And an hour later, he bids farewell and you reluctantly part with him.   He was the only good part of your day.   //   You’re sure your situation has happened before. There’s almost seven and a half billion people in this world now. The chances aren’t unlikely that someone out there knows how you feel — maybe it’s someone who wants to desperately go to medical school and they helped tutor another student after they begged, and that person ended up becoming the doctor instead.   Jealousy and anger isn’t seldom in life. But you’ve thrown so many pity parties for yourself.   You’re tired of it when you’re the host and the only guest.    There’s bad music at these pity parties, and it’s not like you know how to dance either.    But you don’t know how to help your shitty situation. You thought you’ve long lost all your pride after being stepped on so many times. It’s only now that you’ve been shoved again that you realize you still have dignity left — that maybe it’s time to pack your bags and go home….   The doorbell rings not even five minutes after you get back to your apartment. You’re exhausted, emotionally and physically, but you drag your feet to open the door.   The person you want to see the least in the world shows up in front of you once again.   “Jimin…”   “Hey!” He gives a bright smile, so happy and radiant that it’s blinding. He’s excited and you’re not sure why. “Can I come in?”   “Um…” You hesitate, only parting the door enough for him to see both your eyes. “I...It’s kind of messy here.”   “Promise, it’ll be quick,” he insists while running a hand through his brunette hair, moving the strands back. He’s dressed in his black hoodie, pants ripped at the knees, dark bag slung over his shoulder. It’s new. Expensive. “It’s important.”   You reluctantly widen the door and Jimin enters with a grin, completely unaware of your inner turmoil. Completely disregarding your expression of distaste. Ignorant to your unwilling body language.   It’s always about him.   “It’s pretty late.” But one thing Jimin does notice is that you’re not in your usual pajamas. “Did you end up working overtime?”   “No. I met with Taehyung.”   Jimin stops and turns around, his eyes rounded. “You...met with Taehyung?”   You frown in annoyance. Who does he think he is coming into your home and asking so many questions?    “I ran into him.”   “Oh. Did you end up going anywhere?”   “A coffee shop.”   Jimin nods. “What did you guys talk about?”   Your eyes narrow into slits. “Why does it matter?”   He shrugs with a small pout, trying to play off his concerns casually. “He just doesn’t seem like...that great of a guy.”   “He’s really nice to me.”   “I’m nice to you,” Jimin mutters out of the corner of his mouth.    And you immediately scoff. Openly. Loudly.   You don’t even hold back from rolling your eyes.    “Why are you asking so many questions? It makes you sound like you’re jealous, Jimin,” you tell him, distraught, unable to comprehend why you were being interrogated. You hold your ground, strengthening yourself not to back down.    You won’t let yourself be strung along and stepped on. Not anymore.   “Well….” The boy in front of you inhales a deep breath and looks right at you. “Maybe I am jealous.”   “What? Why?”    You don’t understand — you’re the jealous one.    But his response and following silence only continues your bafflement and puzzlement.    The two of you are standing at the entrance way of your apartment, uncomfortable like strangers. That’s right...you are strangers.   You inhale a staggering breath, breaking the suffocating tension before he can answer your confused question. “Can’t you—…..” Your voice is timid and hesitant, but then you pause and speak louder to make sure he can hear you. “Can’t you stop bothering me, Jimin?”   “W-What?”   “Please, just leave me alone.” Your head drops. You can’t bear looking at him anymore. You don’t know why you have to beg to be left alone, why he’s invaded even the comfort of your own home. Why wasn’t there an escape from Park Jimin? “We’re not in a relationship. We’re not dating. I don’t even consider you a friend. You’re…..overbearing and every time I see you, it….pisses me off.”   He steps forward, undoubtedly bewildered at where this was coming from.   Jimin reaches out in distraught, but you move away from his possible grasps. As if his touch would sear your skin. He immediately curls his fingers into his palm, retracing his arm.   “I’m sorry. I never wanted to upset you. Just...W-what did I do, Y/N?”   “You never. once. had any consideration for me. You don’t think about me for a second, Jimin.”    It’s an out-of-body experience. You can see yourself having a meltdown but you can’t stop it. You can’t stop the truth from over boiling where you’ve kept it confined. You’re tired of trying so hard not to hurt people when you’ve been so hurt yourself.    “Do you want to know why I sing backstage? Do you want to know why I’m someone’s ghost singer? It’s because I have massive stage fright. It’s really, really bad.”   “Y/N….”   Jimin’s shocked.    He opens his mouth before closing it, rendered speechless. His brows are furrowed deep enough to look like it hurts, a permanent wrinkle creasing where the knot on his features are.    “I always feel like I’m getting a heart attack half the time and I can’t breathe and it started when I was in high school when my voice broke during a performance and everyone laughed at me. It’s horrible and I still think about it a lot — and I didn’t want to go to that improv class.”   You’re hyperventilating, chest constricting painfully. It aches. “I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to perform in front of other people, but you made me do it. You pushed me.”   “I’m s-sorry…” Jimin murmurs, swallowing hard, not knowing what to do. “I didn’t know…”   “I didn’t want to help you either. And I shouldn’t have,” you mutter past the thick lump in your throat, pained, ignoring how your voice cracks under the pressure, “I shouldn’t have taught you how to sing in the first place, even when you begged me. I….didn’t want to.”   You sharply inhale, but it’s never enough to stop feeling that you’re drowning.    “And now that you succeeded, it pisses me off. I’m the one who’s been here longer. But I’m the one who’s left behind. Who’s still working that shit ass job! Every time you open your mouth to talk about how great it’s going, it’s really hard for me. But you keep doing it. And it’s not like I want to feel this. I don’t want to be jealous. I don’t want this feeling. I don’t want you here!”   There’s an extended silence.   You gasp for air while Jimin searches your expression, equally hurt. You tear your eyes away from him — diverting your vision — unable to bear looking at him. “Just leave, please.”   You walk forward and he stumbles back as you yank the door open.    “W-Wait!” Jimin holds the edge of the door before you can shut it. “Y/N, wait!”   “What?” You half-hiss, half-sob at him, at wits end. You want him gone. Gone so you can crawl underneath your covers. Gone so you won’t be able to compare yourself to anyone. Gone so you can forget how pathetic you feel. “What could you possibly want to say to me, Jimin?”   “I...I just came here because I wanted to tell you that I managed to buy you this ticket.” Jimin pulls the slip of paper from out of his pocket. It’s crinkled at the edges as if he’s been holding onto it tightly. He hands you the slip and you take it without thinking. “I-It was hard to get. I-I...I’m sorry.”   You look at it. It’s his show, Les Mis, a middle row seat.   This is why he wanted to talk to you today. This was what was so important.    It’s a gift.   You swallow hard and Jimin lowers his head in shame, murmuring, “You don’t have to go. I-I’m sorry.” He apologizes again. “I didn’t know that’s how you felt about me. I’ll go now. I won’t bother you anymore.”   He leaves before you can say anything, before he can say anything more.   Jimin’s door shuts and then yours follows suit.   Guilt eats you alive as you stand in the middle of your deafeningly silent apartment with the Broadway ticket in your hand.

[busterkeatonfanfic]

Chapter 3

The third glass of whiskey at lunch was a miscalculation. He felt a little too unsteady on his feet as he walked into the barber shop set and they weren’t filming any pratfalls today, so he couldn’t play it off as that. He put an extra stick of chewing gum in his mouth just in case the first stick and brushing his teeth hadn’t concealed the smell of the drink on his breath, and tried to keep his gait steady. At least he’d be sitting for most of this scene.

Reisner was fussing over the props with the workmen, telling them some sign wasn’t straight. “Buster, where do you want these?” said Bert, gesturing to the barber chairs where he and his girl were destined to reunite. “Do you want them farther apart than this? Closer? Or what?”

Buster shrugged and sat down in one of the chairs. “They look fine to me. Maybe a little closer.”

“I mean, are the cameras going to have enough room?”

“Bert, they’re fine,” he said. “Move them a little closer together if you want. You know I trust you.”

Bert nodded and wrestled the other chair forward a few inches. As he wrestled, he said offhandedly, “You sure scared Nelly, didn’t you?”

Buster had no idea what he was talking about. “Nelly?”

“The prop girl, Nelly.”

“I’m not following.” Behind him and to the side, men bustled lighting into place. 

“The new girl I’ve got in the prop house. I sent her to ask you about the chairs. She looked like a ghost when she came back.”

A second ticked by, then another. Then another. He still wasn’t—

Realization landed like an oversized prop anvil. “Ah, hell.” 

“What?” said Bert.

“That was your prop girl?”

“Yes. What did you say to her to make her look so white?” Bert gave him a knowing look. 

“Nothing!” Buster said. He’d been acting and ad-libbing his whole life and he wasn’t about to stop now. “She got a little tongue-tied and I filled in the blanks. Thought she was coming to ask for her big break in the movies, you know how they corner me about that stuff. I must have embarrassed her, I guess.”

Blame that third glass of whiskey. It had made him dopey and loose, thrown off his judgment. There was a feeling in his stomach right now that he didn’t like, a sizzling sense of shame. It was a feeling that hung around too often these days in one form or another and he was getting sick of it. It wasn’t his fault. Nine times out of ten when there was a woman under the age of forty in his dressing room, she was already naked or willing to be. The other times, it was the age-old hard-luck story about needing a break. He’d had perfect reason to assume both motives. It wasn’t his fault.

The shame niggled. Oh yes it was.

He tried not to dwell on the fact that he’d insulted the girl’s looks on top of it all. In truth, there was nothing wrong with them. She looked fine, just not suited to pictures was all. With the whiskey freeing his tongue, he’d thought nothing of answering honestly. Now the terrible coarseness of his remarks was apparent.

The shame went on niggling him until the cameras began rolling and he lost himself where he always lost himself, facing down the cameras with a stone face. 

By the time she’d gone to bed, Nelly’s humiliation had invited a friend along: anger. She knew that men were frequently cruel, licentious, and crude, but she’d never thought in a million years that Buster Keaton could be counted amongst them. All of it was a damnable lie, the wife and the children and the sophisticated parties, and most of all the sweet trepidatious Buster of the films. He wasn’t Rudolph Valentino’s Sheik or John Barrymore’s Don Juan, not her favorite character or star in other words, but she’d always found him charming; what girl didn’t? She had to wonder—were they all like this? Did Valentino have a nightly habit of robbing women of their virtue? Did Barrymore delight in dressing down girls until they felt about as small and as low as a bug? 

She rolled onto her side fitfully, fuming. It now seemed like a mistake to come to California. Perhaps it was just better to turn tail and go back to Evanston rather than spend another day in the employment of a man who had belittled her ambitions and her looks before she had a chance to get a word in edgewise. She could maybe work herself up to a couple starring roles in local productions, retire at the height of her career, marry, and host garden parties and luncheons for the Women’s Auxiliary Club just like her mother and aunts. Of course, the thought wasn’t a serious one. She was being paid a handsome twelve dollars a day, far more than she’d ever earned as a part-time governess in Evanston. She’d swallow her pride, finish out the picture, and use the experience as entrance into another picture, maybe not a laugh feature next time.

She let a fantasy of John Barrymore rock her off to sleep. Although she’d never seen him in Hamlet , she’d clipped a picture from the production from a magazine and glued it into her scrapbook: dark clothing, brooding brow, those strong hands that could clutch a girl and make her swoon. After Steamboat wrapped up, she’d return south to Hollywood and finagle her way onto the United Artists lot, where she would be cast as Katherine to Barrymore’s Petruchio in Taming of the Shrew . The last thought in her mind before she drifted off was of Barrymore’s big hands tearing the blankets off of Kate as she lay in bed, declaring them unfit for such a woman as his wife.

  The memory of what he’d said to the prop girl bit at Buster like a flea all the next morning. As soon as the cameras stopped rolling, his traitorous mind would wander to the incident and he’d be reminded unpleasantly of what a low thing he’d done. He stuck to one whiskey at lunch, even though he would have preferred a second. He tried calling Nate at the Villa, thinking that hearing her voice might provide some kind of consolation. The phone just rang and rang, until finally Edwin picked up and told him she was with Dutch.

At last, his conscience pricked him so much he left his dressing room early. He peeked in the canteen and cheers of “Buster!” erupted from the extras and the crew. He gave them a wave of acknowledgment and left. The girl wasn’t there. He exited and headed toward the prop house. Feeling slightly shy in addition to remorseful, he swung open the door when he got there. The prop girl didn’t notice him over the sound of the radio. She had her back turned to him at the workbench and was crunching an apple and reading a book.

“Hello,” he said. 

“Jesus Christ!” she said, nearly startling out of her skin and whipping her head around.  

Her swearing made him feel better. In his experience girls who swore could take care of themselves, which meant that maybe he hadn’t crushed her underfoot like a flimsy petunia blossom.

She blanched when she realized who it was. “Oh. Mr. Keaton,” she said. An expression resembling dislike settled on her face. 

He couldn’t blame her. He crossed the room and swung himself onto the workbench, dangling his legs. “I insulted you yesterday,” he said, studying her face. Despite the dainty little mouth she’d drawn on with lipstick, she couldn’t hide the fact that her lips were full. Her brown hair was done up in earphones in a faux bob. She reminded him a little of Evelyn Nesbit. Now that he had a good look at her, without the glaze of whiskey, he doubly regretted what he’d said about her looks. 

She stared straight ahead, expressionless, the apple forgotten in her hand. She still seemed a little nervous around him, but there was a set to her jaw that told him he was not going to be forgiven easily.

“There’s baseball practice tonight at seven. You’re invited,” he tried.

She finally met his eyes. “I have plans.”

“Okay,” he said, conceding. “You’re angry with me. I get it. Look, I was out of line yesterday. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for opening my big fat mouth. I was way out of line.”

She merely looked at him. 

“I acted disgracefully. There’s nothing wrong with your looks. I never should have said anything, I never should have—” He couldn’t bring himself to mention that he assumed she’d also been looking for sex. “I’ve been out of sorts lately and, look, I won’t start making excuses. It was wrong, plain and simple. I made assumptions and I shouldn’t have. What’s your name? Nelly?” he said, pressing. He wasn’t going to let up until that flea he called his conscience stopped biting.

“Nelly,” she confirmed in a flat voice. 

“Let me make it up to you, Nelly. Do you want to be an extra today? I’ll ask Bert to give you the afternoon off.” He could almost see her internal struggle. She set her half-eaten apple on the workbench and folded her hands in her lap. “I don’t want any favors,” she said, staring ahead.

She was a proud one. It should have annoyed him, but he found himself admiring her stubbornness. Anyway, he had a lot of practice in Natalie cracking tough nuts. He hopped off the workbench and sank to one knee, propping supplicating hands on her knee. “Please?”

She drew in her lips and he could tell she was trying not to smile. Ah, sweet victory. 

For his pièce de résistance, he broke into song. “ I can hear the robins singing, Nellie Dean. Sweetest recollections ringing, Nellie Dean .”

Nelly succumbed to the smile. “Alright,” she said, shaking her head and trying to hide it. 

“Good,” he said, getting to his feet. He crossed the room and poked his head into the area where all the costumes were stored. Although the film was ostensibly set fifty years ago, all of the women’s costumes were of the latest fashion. He thumbed through the rack and pulled out a few dresses halfway before selecting a pink sleeveless one embroidered with burgundy flowers. “Wear this,” he said, walking back into the main room and handing it to her.

She looked surprised. “Are you sure?” Her eyes told him she still didn’t trust him. 

“Of course I’m sure. Go dress and I’ll walk you to the set.”

Looking now as though she especially didn’t trust him, she nonetheless went into the costume room and closed the door behind her. She came out less than a minute later. She looked just fine—maybe not like a leading lady—but just fine. The shame nipped him again and he scratched it off, reminding himself that he was making it up to her.  

“Sure you don’t want something nicer for the shoot?” he said, noticing that she was wearing flat brown Oxfords.

“Oh, they’re fine. I don’t suppose the cameras will be anywhere near my feet.”

When he stepped closer to her, it clicked; she was a couple inches shorter than she’d been yesterday. He’d made her embarrassed of her height and she switched shoes. It was another reminder of how rotten his words had been. No taller than he was, she was certainly not a giant. He even had an inch on her, give or take. 

“Do I need to put on more makeup?” she said. 

He shook his head. “No, you don’t need to wear any if you’re in the background. We have to do it to stick out,” he said, indicating his powdered cheeks. 

“Alright then.”

“Hold on a minute.” He ripped a piece of paper from a steno pad on the workbench and wrote, Stealing Nelly for the afternoon. Will return her in a timely fashion. -Buster. He set the half-eaten apple on top of it for a paperweight and offered his arm to Nelly. She just stared at it and then at him. “I’ll walk you to the set,” he explained.

She continued to look unsure as she accepted it, but his conscience felt much lighter as they left the prop house together. 

The bright lights agreed with Nelly. They probably wouldn’t have appeared particularly bright to any proper budding starlet, but that Buster had made her an extra for a day, that she would actually be on film and tens of thousands of people would see her, was exactly what she’d been hoping for when she’d taken a train from Evanston to West Hollywood to Sacramento. 

It turned out that being an extra involved a lot of standing around waiting for direction while the cameras tracked the exploits of the main characters, namely Buster and his mouse-sized co-star Marion, whom everyone called Peanuts. The scene was about missed connections; Buster, encountering his girl on the street, tries to apologize to her. She ducks in and out of the telegraph office, debating whether to accept, then follows after him as he trudges away from her.

Peanuts needed the benefit of multiple takes. Buster was flawless, Nelly thought, in every one. Her role was to be one of the town inhabitants walking down the sidewalk. It was hot in the early afternoon sun and she was grateful that Buster had picked out a sleeveless dress for her. She tried to act casual while strolling back and forth and not get distracted by the action further down the sidewalk where Buster and Peanuts were.

After the scene had wrapped, the director and Buster moved onto the next one: Buster walks dejectedly up the street and a car whizzes his carpetbag out of his hands and onto its running board. She and the other extras gathered in a small crowd facing the car to watch. Behind the scenes like this, she began to see how the gags were accomplished. For this one, the camera tracked Buster on the left. When the car came into frame, it obscured most of his body. Because of this, the audience couldn’t see one of the actors in the car pluck the carpetbag from Buster’s hand in one fluid movement, which left him bag-free and bewildered after the car had passed. The hand-off was invisible. This scene took only a couple takes. Buster was all business in between, telling the other actors and the director in a serious way what he thought the scene should look like. It was all so fascinating to finally be on the inside and see the nuts and bolts. She watched carefully, trying to commit it to memory. 

For the next scene, the carpet bag was meant to tumble off the running board and trip up Buster, who was running at top speed after the car. It took around three or four takes for the bag to fall satisfactorily into Buster’s path. Each time it did, he would somehow tumble head over heels to miss it. The first time he accomplished the stunt, the extras hooted and broke into clapping. Buster flashed a quick smile, clearly pleased, and Nelly joined in the applause. No matter how many times he vaulted over the bag, going briefly vertical, she couldn’t tell how he did it. After that, it was back to the sidewalk for her even though she was too far in the distance, she thought, for the cameras to see her at this point.

After some time had gone by, Buster announced that it was a wrap. So that was that. She looked around at a couple of the other extras for guidance, wondering what came next. The logical thing to do would be to return the dress and finish out the rest of the day in the prop house, so she decided just to slip away rather than reveal herself as a rookie by asking. As she turned at the corner near the facade of the Western Union Telegraph building to take a shortcut, the sound of hurried footsteps made her look over her shoulder. It was Buster. The extras turned to look at them as Buster came to a stop. Nelly felt herself pale a little as she faced him. For all her bravery in the prop house earlier, she was still far from used to him.

“Coming to practice tonight?” he said, a little out of breath. 

She was surprised. She’d assumed that the invitation earlier had been flippant. “I can’t,” she said, before she had time to think about it. She had a hard time reading the answering expression on his face, but she thought it was puzzlement. “I have plans.”

However thrilling being an extra had been, part of her had not forgiven him. When she’d stepped back and looked at her torso in her bureau mirror that morning, all she could think about was his comment about her bosom being too big and her needing to lose twenty pounds. The words still felt like salt in a bleeding gash, even if he clearly did wish to make it up to her. Anyway, she wasn’t fibbing about having plans. She’d agreed to play blackjack with Joe and Maggie, the owners of the house on 22nd Street, that night. 

“Well, alright then,” Buster said, with a nod. “I’ll see you around.”

“Sure,” she said, feeling an upwelling of all sorts of emotions: regret at turning him down, pride at her own resolve, anxiety that he might decide to can her if she continued to rebuff him. “Thank you for letting me be part of the picture.”

“No problem.”

She nodded at him and they parted. 

The worst of the confused feelings had faded by eight that evening when she was at the leather-top folding table with Joe and Maggie in their sitting room, regaling them with stories from the day. By now, they knew that she was employed in the prop shop and not as an extra, so the fact that she really had been an extra that afternoon was of the utmost interest to both. She went over every detail, keeping back, of course, yesterday’s ignominious encounter with the picture’s star. As the conversation waned and they settled into the game of blackjack, she felt positively luminous. Not even Mary Pickford, she thought, could feel as famous as she did tonight. (Watch Steamboat Bill, Jr. here.)

[laminy]

How about some hurt/comfort? Also, I love them being in a poly ship. A bad review for BoRhap has left Ben feeling incredibly insecure. The critic was quick to praise Rami's acting, and marvelled at how Gwil and Joe resembled the men they were portraying so well, but complained at how Roger was played by a 'muscular, dumb blonde' who was only good for his looks. So the three try to make him feel better. And lots of cuddles and kisses between them.

After the film premiered, Ben had immediately flown back to continue working on Six Underground, while Joe, Rami, and Gwil continued on the press tour without him. He was disappointed he had to miss the events they went to, he missed them on a personal level, feeling left out of the relationship, but he thinks the hardest part was all the bullshit he had to read all on his own, without them there. He just wanted to sit curled up Gwil’s lap, his arms wrapped around him, Rami and Joe telling him it was all alright.

He flew back home for Christmas, then he flew to Los Angeles for Allen’s wedding and the Golden Globes. Joe picks him up at the airport, and they go back to Joe’s house, meeting Rami and Gwil there.

After they’ve kissed and hugged, and Ben showers and Gwil jumps in with him, they all go out into the kitchen, cooking together. Gwil’s stood at the stove, Joe beside him, while Rami leans against the counter, a beer in his hand.

Ben has a beer too, but he’s not drinking, just picking at the label. “Are you excited to win a Golden Globe?” he asks, looking up at Rami.

“Oh,” Rami says, “I don’t— don’t say that. Don’t—” He shakes his head. “You don't know that.”

“Of course we do!” Joe says cheerily. “This is the official start of your awards sweep, and I for one cannot wait.”

“Stop it,” Rami says, shifting on his feet, but he’s wearing a big smile.

“I still say Gwil should have gotten a Best Supporting nom,” Joe continues, patting Gwil on the ass, and Gwil gives his hips a bit of a shake.

“I agree,” Rami says, and Gwil turns around, giving them a cheeky smile.

Ben just scoffs, and the other three look at him.

“What’s that about?” Joe asks.

“Oh, nothing,” Ben says, shrugging, still picking at his beer bottle.

“That’s something,” Rami says. “What’s going on?”

Ben looks up, biting on his bottom lip. “Nothing,” he says again, but his voice wavers a bit, and he swallows hard.

“Benny?” Joe asks.

“Ben, what’s wrong?” Gwil asks.

Ben opens his mouth to speak, and then he just shakes his head. “I— it’s stupid,” he says softly.

“It’s not,” Rami says, reaching out to touch Ben’s hand. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t want you to think I’m not happy for you,” Ben says, voice shaking.

“Nobody thinks that,” Rami says.

“I am,” Ben continues. “I really am. You’re going to win an Oscar, and— Joe, and Gwil, you two look exactly like John and Brian, people love you.”

“People love you too, Benny,” Joe says. “You were great as Roger, I mean, you— you had to learn the drums. Like, from scratch.”

“He’s right,” Gwil says. “We already knew guitar, and we could fake it a bit easier. You had to— you had to know the songs far better than we did.”

“I don’t look like Roger,” Ben says.

“I think you do,” Rami says. “Not an exact replica like Orphan Black over here, but I’ve always thought you looked like you were related.”

“The reviews say I can’t act,” Ben says. “That I only got the role because—” He cuts himself off, clearing his throat, looking away.

They all watch Ben for a moment, before Gwil walks away from the stove, coming over to kneel in front of Ben, resting his hands on Ben’s knees as he looks up at him. “You got the role because you deserve it,” Gwil says. “Because you’re talented. And you’re the best Roger there could have been.” He reaches up, cupping Ben’s face in his hand. “Please don’t say such things, it breaks my heart.”

Joe turns off the stove, moving the pan off the heat, and walks over to the others, looking at Ben. “Benny, I— Gwil’s right, nobody was going to be better at playing Roger than you. And if you weren’t cast, then we never would have met you, and this— us—” Joe just shakes his head. “Don’t say that. And stop reading reviews, first and foremost.”

“He’s definitely right about that,” Rami says. “They don’t know what they’re talking about, if they say you can’t act. That’s bullshit. We didn’t do it for the reviews.”

“Ben,” Gwil says softly, and then he leans up, kissing him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ben murmurs. “I’m sorry I’m so—”

“Perfect?” Joe says.

Ben snorts. “Stop it.”

“Talented? Handsome? Amazing?” Joe continues. “What else?”

“Special,” Rami says, smiling at Ben. Gwil steps out of the way, and Rami steps over, sitting down on Ben’s lap, wrapping his arms around him, snuggling against him. “Ben, you’re better than any review. Those reviews don’t know you, they didn’t see you working hard, practicing every day.” He nuzzles against Ben’s neck, kissing him there. “Gwil’s right, it breaks my heart.”

“I mean,” Joe starts, “you’re the one who’s so talented you were literally working during our press tour. Oh, sorry, I have to fly back to Italy now, I’m so busy and talented and cool, people just keep offering me jobs, I can’t help it.”

Gwil grins, shaking a bit as he tries not to laugh.

“God, you’re talented,” Joe continues. “I’m not even joking. Screw anyone who doesn’t see it. I just want you to see it.” He looks at Ben. “Do you see it?”

“I don’t know,” Ben says softly.

“We’re here,” Gwil says, and he leans in, kissing Ben’s forehead. “Let’s finish making dinner, and we can talk about it a bit more, alright?”

Ben nods, and Gwil pats him on the arm as he walks back over to the stuff.

“Am I too heavy?” Rami asks.

Ben smiles. “No,” he says. “You weigh nothing, you’re like a bird with hollow bones.”

“Ooh, sexy,” Joe says. “Don’t think Rami’s the only one getting cuddles tonight, Ben. I’m coming for you.” He pats his stomach. “Once I’ve gotten my belly full and I’m too lazy to move.”

Ben has to laugh at that. “Perfect,” he says, and Joe smiles back.

[sailorshadzter]

in the darkness i was afraid, until i saw your light.

again, this is entirely because of @amymel86 & @orangeflavoryawp

you guys can expect a chapter two at SOME POINT lol

anyways here is a Jonsa au set where Rhaegar lives and Jon lives as the heir to the Iron Throne. 

i like to think of this jon as brooding & moody, prone to outbursts, but sansa will both calm him & push him in ways no one has ever pushed him before. dont ask me about a future plot because I DONT KNOW except i want them to angrily make out asap lmao 

OK HERE YOU GO. i hope you guys all enjoy! 

"We're going South."

Every face in the room swivels upwards, surprise written on every face that stares back at him. Ned Stark clears his throat, casting a quick glance to his lady wife who has already heard these words but a few days prior. "To King's Landing?" Robb, his oldest boy asks, his dark hair the only sign of his Stark lineage. Like all of his children, save for Arya, he looks more Tully than Stark, but he is as proud of them as only a father could be. "All of us?"

This is when Ned shakes his head, turning his eyes to his first born child, his son that will someday take over his role as Warden in the North. "Nay, not all of us." He turns towards his two daughters then, settled into their respective places across from one another. Sansa, his second born and oldest of his girls, stares back at him with her wide, Tully blue eyes. She is a young woman of seventeen, grown tall like a willow tree, with ivory features far too beautiful for the world in which they live. Arya is every bit different than her older sister, wild, like the wolves in the forest; she wears no gowns, she runs with the boys and swings a sword as well as the best man in Winterfell. He is as fiercely proud of her as he is Sansa, as he is all of his children. "Just Sansa," he says after a moment, turning his gaze to his oldest daughter, who's eyes widen with her surprise.

"Me?" She questions, a perfectly sculpted brow shooting upwards. "Why, father?"

Ned smiles, a smile which his three sons have been bestowed with, and nods. "I have heard word from Rhaegar Targaryen." Though he once fought against the Targaryen rule, Ned offered fealty to the new King of the Seven Kingdoms twenty something years ago when Lyanna begged it of him. His beloved little sister who died giving birth to her only child, a son that lives in King's Landing as the heir to Rhaegar's rule. "He finds it is high time that his son and heir marries." Something like recognition ripples across his daughter's face and she squares her shoulders with this new knowledge that rocks her. "He has proposed a bethrothal between Sansa and Aegon."

From where she sits, Sansa is silent, though her mind is a whirlwind of thoughts. Marriage, she thinks, to Aegon Targaryen? She has always known she would marry eventually, but she thought perhaps to Theon Greyjoy, heir to the Iron Islands, or perhaps even a Dornish prince, not the heir to the Seven Kingdoms. Though she believes in stories of love, stories of handsome, brave knights, she knows her duty is to her family. She will do as she's bid, of course, even if there was a part of her that has always longed to marry a man for love and little else. "Does the thought of becoming queen not please you, daughter?" Sansa blinks, realizing only then that her father has spoken to her. Rather than speak against him, she puts on a brave face, I am a Stark, so I can be brave, she thinks as she smiles radiantly for her father. And then she speaks:

"It pleases me, father."

[ x x x ]

King's Landing is nothing like the North.

Though, she supposes she should have known that already, she's surprised all the same. In the weeks leading up to their departure, her mother had ensured she was well prepared for both the journey and the meetings she would endure upon arrival. Everything else... Sansa knew. She knows to curtsy, to smile prettily. She knows how to play the high bells and even the harp, her voice soft and sweet enough to make even the roughest of men smile. Sansa knows how to please men in a court, she knows how to be a lady, she's been one since three.

But nothing in the world could truly prepare her for the man she is about to meet in the crown prince, Aegon Targaryen.

"This way," the man leading them speaks, bringing her from her thoughts. The touch of a hand to her elbow is her father's and she sucks in a breath, holding her head high as they face a set of double doors that lead them into the throne room. It is empty, thankfully, aside from the man that sits upon his throne and the younger man that stands just behind him, lurking as if he wishes to be anywhere else. Together, she and her father approach the dais, though he is the one to step all the way forward, bowing low to the King that sits before them.

"Welcome to King's Landing, Lord Stark." Rhaegar Targaryen speaks in a voice that is deeper than she anticipated, his silvery locks tied back with a sapphire ribbon that matches the doublet he wears. "I trust your journey went well." The king smiles but something tells Sansa it is not the most sincere of smiles.

"Aye, your grace, it did. King's Road is easy to travel at this time of the year." Ned replies, offering a smile of his own. Regardless of his feelings inside, this man was his king and if he were to truly leave his daughter in his keep, then he would have to play nice.

"Is this your daughter?" Rhaegar asks, his violet eyes suddenly falling upon the girl that stands behind Ned. "She is a beauty." He compliments, smiling for her. "Come closer, child. Let me look at you properly." He encourages and with the touch of her father's hand, she steps ahead of him and sinks into a low curtsy.

From where he stands, Jon watches the girl come forward; though his face did not betray his inner thoughts, he's mesmerized by the sight of her. Hair like the color of a sunset, crimson yet gold, a fiery twist that leaves him breathless. She's dressed in a gown of the lightest shade of blue, it's sweeping sleeves embroidered with the famed winter roses of Winterfell. It's a modest cut gown, quite unlike those worn in King's Landing, though he finds he likes it more for that reason alone. Her gaze flicks from his father to him and their eyes meet, suspending time around him. "Rise up child. Aegon, stop being so rude. Come greet our lovely guest." Rhaegar speaks and Jon stumbles, having forgotten there was even anyone else in the room besides her. Clearing his throat, Jon does as he's bid, stepping foward so he might bow to the young woman and her father below him. "You must excuse my son, Ned you would think he to be yours, with how brooding and moody he is."

Ned lets out a chuckle, though he knows what Rhaegar says is true. There is not a single trace of Targaryen in the boy, he is Stark through and through. He is Lyanna's son, looking more like Ned's own child than nephew. "He is like his mother in that." Ned says, which brings a small smile to the king's lips; he knows as well as anyone that his only living son is more like his mother than him. He is like Ned, in that fact, for Rhaegar has heard the rumors that all of his children but one favor their mother rather than him. "My youngest daughter, Arya, she is so like Lyanna you might think her to be hers, not mine." The men share a smile, mutual love for the long dead Lyanna Stark perhaps the only thing they truly have in common.

[ x x x ]

When she wakes in the morning, it's from a dream of wolves and laughter.

Though the images fade as she rises up from the bed, she cannot shake the strange sensation of familiarity from her mind. A maid comes in and helps her dress- the woman curtsies and speaks with her as the servants spoke to her own mother in Winterfell. Something felt strange about that, to be spoken to like a true lady, like something more than the daughter of a noble lord.

When she's dressed for the day and her hair plaited into braids, she slips from her rooms, intent on exploring the palace that's to become her home. Or so her father says. A sigh escapes her and she pushes thoughts of marriage and the future from her mind, rather she focuses upon her new surroundings. The Red Keep is noisy even so early in the morning, bustling about with servants and courtiers alike. Rhaegar Targaryen keeps a full court, though there is no queen to keep it orderly or enforce any sort of etiquette, so some say it feels more like a town brothel then a royal palace.

She takes her leave of the corridors and she steps out into the morning sunshine; it's far warmer here than in the North, even in summer. Her gown, though made more in a Southern fashion, still feels far too heavy for the heat. Now she understands why the women in King's Landing dress in silks and lawns and fine lace. Her footsteps lead her down stone steps and into a garden that stops her in her tracks. It's full of fresh, sweet smelling blooms in dozens of colors, dozens of styles. In fact, she's never before seen such a wide array of flowers and for a moment all she can do is swivel her gaze from left to right, taking in the sights all around her.

But then she's on the move, making her way to the first bush that grows flowers in the softest shade of pink. When she leans in, it's so she can inhale their sweet, but subtle scent, a smile spreading across her face as she makes her way to the next bush and then even another one after that. In the distance, she can hear the sound of a fountain running and she decides that once she sees this final shrub she approaches, she might take a walk towards it instead. And so she leans over the bush that's littered with tiny white flowers, their scent surprisingly strong for flowers so small.

From where he stands, Jon can't help but to watch her.

She's dressed in a gown of pale green, one which compliments her in a way that threatens to steal the very breath from his lungs. It is a gown of material unlike what they wear in King's Landing and he imagines her to be quite warm in it, despite the skin she dares expose. Unlike yesterday's blue gown, this one shows off her long, slender arms and when she turns her back to him, he can see it cuts low upon her back. Though he would very much enjoy watching her from afar, Jon finds his feet lead him in her direction, unable to help but wish to speak to her. And so... He does.

"They are nothing like the blue roses of Winterfell, eh?"

Jumping at the sound of the voice, Sansa spins around and finds herself face to face with the prince, who's Stark colored eyes are meeting hers without hesitation. "Prince Aegon," she greets softly, dipping him the appropriate curtsy for a man of his rank.

"I prefer to be called Jon," he snaps, wishing he could push away the thoughts of her beauty. He's thought of little else since meeting her only the evening before. "I mean... My father is the only one who calls me Aegon." He clarifies when she flinches as if struck, so he's softer this time, feeling somewhat remorseful for his sharp tone. "I have heard the roses bloom even in the winter." She's raising up from her curtsy and her blue-eyed stare is intense, so much so that for a moment he must cast his own gaze skyward.

"They do," she speaks softly, in a voice that reminds him of honey, sweet and slow. Her Northern accent is not so pronounced, not like her father's, and he attributes that to her strict, noble upbringing. He returns his eyes to her and finds she's smiling, her head tilting ever so slightly, which sends her red hair cascading across a shoulder. Yet again, he's stricken by the sight of it, wishing for a moment that he might reach out and touch it. He longs to know what it feels like against his fingertips. "My father says that even in the coldest of winters they've bloomed." She's smiling faintly, turning from him to reach out, gingerly brushing her fingers along the white petals of the blooms they stand before.

"They were my mother's favorite flowers." The prince speaks and Sansa turns back to face him, blue eyes sympathetic in their gaze. "Or so I've been told."

Sansa smiles, nodding her head. "They were," she confirms, thinking of the stories and memories her father has shared with her over the years. "My father says my younger sister Arya is quite like her, though only Arya is bold enough to refuse to wear gowns." Jon laughs at her words and she's surprised at how the sound warms her, fills her with a strange sense of happiness she can't really explain. "You look like her," she goes on, pinning him with those eyes of hers as she takes a single step closer. "You look like Arya and so you must look like your mother." It was true, there was not an ounce of Targaryen in him, though Jon could not say because up until these last two days, he's seen very little of his Stark family. Ned Stark made the rarest of trips South and Jon couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen his uncle in King's Landing.

For some reason though, hearing Sansa say such a thing brings a happiness to him that he's never felt before. "Would you like to see the fountain?" He asks, rather than thanking her for her words, trying his best to play his role as well as she. Jon isn't stupid and he knows his father plans to see the two of them wed- though he's always thought to marry a woman for love someday when he was king himself, he knows he must do as his father bids. Just as she does. "It is one of the best spots in all of King's Landing." The truth was... He spent quite a bit of time out there in the gardens, one of the only places he could find a moment to himself.

"That's where I thought to go next," she admits with a nod, falling into step beside him as they make their way down the path towards the center of the garden. "Wow," she murmurs as they approach the great stone fountain, it's height towering over the both of them. Water sparkles in the pool beneath and Jon watches as she leans over the edge to dip her ivory hand into the cool water, a smile curving on her rosy lips. Yet again, he finds himself enthralled by the sight of her, even more so in the bright summer sunlight. The South agrees with her, that is for certain. "It's beautiful," she says, straightening her spine and turning back to face the prince that stands beside her.

"It is..." Jon agrees, softly, unable to stop the words before they slip from his lips. As if she understands, her cheeks turn red as the roses that grow behind them and she turns away, staring up at the fountain as if it truly is the most interesting thing in the world around them. "I hope you enjoy your time here in King's Landing," he speaks finally, the only words he can bring himself to say in the aftermath of the ones from before. She turns to him then, blue eyes widening ever so slightly. But then she smiles a dazzling smile, a radiant sort of smile that sends shivers down his spine. For a single moment, he sees the future, one of gold crowns and howling wolves. One that is happy, despite it all.

"I think I might," she says after a moment and then Jon is smiling, too.

[ x x x ]

When she wakes the following morning, it is to a new handmaiden who is quick to smile at her lady, her brown eyes kind in her face. "Good morning, my lady," the woman says, turning from where she lays out Sansa's gown for that day. "My name is Shae," she continues, coming closer to the bed where Sansa now sits up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "The prince bid me to attend to you, if it pleases you." Sansa blinks, perhaps surprised, but she can't help but feel the draw to the woman. Shae has a face of someone she can trust, someone who would look out for her. She can't say how she knows, but Sansa knows Shae will be far more than just a handmaiden to her. "Ah, he also sent a gift," Shae says, reaching for what Sansa sees is a bolt of fabric in a beautiful shade of gray, a quality silk that she's never set her hands upon in all of her life.

For a moment, she's speechless.

Running her hands along the soft fabric, she sucks in a breath, already able to imagine the beautiful dress that she could make with such a fabric. She squeezes it against her chest, eyes closing as she reminds herself that this is in fact, real life. "Will you... Will you send him word of my thanks?" She asks her maiden, raising her gaze to meet Shae's as she slips from the bed, the bolt of silk still clutched to her chest. Shae is smiling when she nods, turning from her lady to do as she's been asked, wondering if the young woman knew what sort of face she wore when speaking of the prince. She can't help but to wonder what the brooding prince would say if he knew how soft and sweet his future bride looked when thinking of him.

Left alone in her chamber, Sansa gently sets the fabric aside and moves to the window that overlooks the city of King's Landing. Along the horizon, the sunrise is streaks of pink and red against the blue backdrop, though she notes it is not unlike the sunrise she's used to in the North. Perhaps... Living in the South would not be so bad.

Down in his own chamber, two floors beneath hers, Jon too stands at the window.

He watches the same sunrise as she, though fully dressed and prepared to escape the confines of his rooms. All night long he had dreamed of red hair and pale moonlight, of blood red leaves and bright blue eyes. Now that he's awake, Jon finds himself longing to be near her again, to talk to her, to feel the soft touch of her hand against his. He recalls his thoughts of only a few days prior, determined to hate yet another of the potential brides paraded before him. But there was something... Something far different about Sansa Stark that he couldn't quite understand.

But he wants to, he finds that he wants to know everything there is to know about her. He wants to know what makes her happy and even what makes her mad. Every little piece of her that she was willing to give to him, he wants, and he will accept. For better or for worse, he supposes, after all she was to be his bride in the end. And so he turns from the window and slips from his rooms, hoping his feet might just lead him to his destiny.

[aion-rsa]

The Knick Is An Ugly, Atmospheric Delight

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Most early photographs look haunted. Perhaps it’s because we view these images with the knowledge that the people inside them are already ghosts. In some early photos the subject had actually already expired at the time of their capture. Photography was expensive and the first and best occasion for many families to pay for a portrait was recently after a loved one died.

But some old timey photos are just ineffably creepy beyond any easy explanation. Consider this snapshot of a surgical operating theater in 1890.

Boston City Hospital operating theater, circa 1890 | A. H. Folsom of Roxbury

The experience of seeing primitive surgeons dressed in angelic white, surrounded by seats of mustachioed men wearing their Sunday best and staring down at a lifeless body is so intensely bizarre. Photos like this are dripping with a grim atmosphere that very few documents or art can really capture. One recent entry into the prestige TV canon, however, did a shockingly good job of recreating that eerie sensation and maintaining it over two full seasons.

Both seasons of Cinemax’s The Knick are now available to stream on HBO Max. Cinemax may no longer be in the original content business, but some of its better shows are finally, thankfully making their way to the WarnerMedia streaming venture. In addition to The Knick other recent Cinemax titles arriving to HBO Max include Banshee and Warrior. All three are superb shows and worth checking out, but let us highlight The Knick in particular as one of recent television history’s most underappreciated gems.

The Knick is quite simply one of the most stylish and atmospheric TV shows ever made. Premiering in 2014, it is set in a fictionalized version of the real Knickerbocker Hospital (a.k.a “The Knick”) which was located in Harlem at the turn of the 19th century. The series begins in 1900 and follows Clive Owen’s Dr. John W. “Thack” Thackery, the chief surgeon at The Knick, as he runs the hospital while barely controlling his addiction to injecting cocaine. Other cast members include André Holland as new assistant chief surgeon Dr. Algernon Edwards, Jeremy Bobb as hospital manager Herman Barrow, and Eve Hewson as nurse Lucy Elkins.

The plotting on The Knick from creators and head writers Jack Amiel & Michael Beglerare is tight and effective. The show capably balances multiple story threads at once, from the series- long arc of Thack’s drug abuse and addiction to season-long arcs about infectious diseases spreading throughout New York to episode-long stories presenting patients simply in need of help. 

But what sets The Knick apart from fellow medical dramas (and just about everything else) is the imagery involved and the tone it invokes. Watching The Knick is like staring at the uncanny oddness of that old operating theater photo until the people within it start to move around and vacuum blood out of a patient’s open abdomen. 

Television has always been seen as a writers’ medium, with the head writer on many shows often serving as de facto “showrunner” and maintaining the visual style. The Knick, however, benefits greatly from the involvement of filmmaker Steven Soderbergh, who produces and directs every episode. Soderbergh’s cameras, era-authentic gaslamp lighting, and superb production design all conspire to create one hell of a visual mood. That’s not even to mention Cliff Martinez’s excellent, synth-heavy score, which one would be forgiven for thinking is the work of Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. Just about every scene sounds like a tense mission leading up to a boss battle in an NES game. 

Thack and his fellow doctors Bertram “Bertie” Chickering (Michael Angarano) and Everett Gallinger (Eric Johnson) are fond of calling the Knick their “circus.” And like any circus, The Knick is only as good as its performers. Thankfully the doctors, nurses, administrators are all more than up to the task. 

Despite being only six years old now, The Knick has proven to be quite an acting talent factory. The series was Hewson’s first TV role and the Irish actress is now on her way to modest stardom thanks to roles in The Luminaries and Behind Her Eyes. Jeremy Bobb has since turned up in everything, including Russian Doll, Jessica Jones, and The Outsider. Chris Sullivan, who plays ambulance operator Tom Cleary now plays Toby on This Is Us. And Juliet Rylance portrays Della Street on Perry Mason. 

Meanwhile, Owen is a perfect fit as Thack. The actor seems to relish hiding his handsome movie star features behind sweat, matted hair, and a thin mustache. The effect makes Thack physically resemble some kind of familiar early 1900s pugilist archetype more than a Hollywood leading man. The lifelike performance flows out from there.

Holland as a talented Black surgeon extremely unwelcome in a white hospital is also superb. The actor has racked up award nominations for Selma and Moonlight, but he’s never seemed like a more capable protagonist than he does in The Knick, even if his character isn’t technically the lead. 

It does at times feel as though this is really Edwards’ story. Which makes sense, given that the most attention is frequently paid to him as a perceived trespasser in a white world. Also: it probably goes without saying, but one should know before watching that The Knick pulls absolutely no punches in its depiction of early 20th century racism. It’s admirably honest storytelling about the time period but it’s also just brutal to sit through. One season 2 plotline even involves a central character becoming a full-on eugenicist. 

Thought that understandably all sounds quite bleak, The Knick isn’t just all crushingly real depictions of racism, gore, and nifty camerawork. The show fills an important prestige TV quotient by frequently bringing something new to the table. In the absurdly crowded TV landscape, oftentimes the best thing any show can do is to present something to the audience that they’ve never seen before. The Knick has many such moments…unless you’ve somehow seen someone inject cocaine into Clive Owen’s penis before. The series also has one of the wildest series finale of all time. The finale of season 2 (which wasn’t necessarily a series finale at the time) features one moment that should take even the most veteran drama watcher by surprise. 

The show has some sturdy themes to go along with the stylish flourishes and surprising storytelling. In the series first episode, Thack describes what is simultaneously appealing and devastating about healthcare to him, saying: “God always wins. It’s the longest unbeaten streak in the history of the world.” 

There is nothing that any doctor or surgeon can do to stop death. The best they can hope to do is forestall it’s arrival. Thack and the doctors at the Knick have done the best they can in this mission. When Thack proudly announces that life expectancy has gone from 39 to 47 in the past 20 years, it’s a darkly funny moment to the modern viewer. But any small medical advancement or deeper understanding of the human body always feels like a sincere victory throughout The Knick – particularly because we see the very literal blood, swat, and tears it takes to achieve them. These drug-addicted surgeons and frightened, shivering patients are indeed ghosts from an stained old-timey photo of an operating theater. They’re also people. And that’s something that the show is able to capture in addition to capturing all the terrifying gore of 20th century medicine. 

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Back in September of 2020, Soderbergh revealed that he and producer Barry Jenkins were planning to go through with The Knick season 3, with a pilot script having been written. Given that the Hollywood landscape is particularly turbulent at the moment, who knows if that script will ever find a home. Whether or not The Knick gets a third season, its first two will fit in quite comfortably alongside the greats in its new HBO Max home for years to come. 

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