#they might get angry they might clash but those bonds are what kept them going it fueled them

[faerociousbeast]

bc yeah. when naruto says "friendship is EVERYTHING" it's not a sparkly protagonist who hasn't seen the world yet. it's a deeply hurt, orphaned, 12 year old kid in an obnoxious orange jumpsuit who doesnt even know how much hes hurting, yelling at you angrily struggling to hold back his tears bc friendship and caring was the only thing that kept him from going into the dark

[oswinpond]

Even after the new film, which certainly popularized Amy/Laurie in a way I’ve never seen before, I keep hearing a lot of the same old arguments: “Laurie never stopped loving Jo”, “Laurie didn’t really love Amy”, “Amy was a second choice/consolation prize”, “Jo should’ve been with Laurie” etc. And a lot of these people claim this is book canon. As I’ve just reread the book, I’ve got a lot of thoughts on all of this... 

(Note: This is all purely based on book canon.)

In the book, after Amy harshly scolds Laurie, he decides to go back to London and work for his grandfather to better himself. At first, he thinks he’s doing it for two reasons: Amy despises him and that hurts him, but also the idea that if he does something “splendid” Jo may love him (or at least respect him, as Amy put it). 

So Laurie decides to write a requiem for Jo “which should harrow up Jo’s soul and melt the heart of every hearer”. But he can’t come up with anything because he keeps humming the dance music reminiscent of the Christmas ball in Nice which he spent devoting himself to Amy all evening. So then he tries to compose an opera with Jo as his heroine, but it doesn’t work. “He wanted Jo for his heroine, and called upon his memory to supply him with tender recollections and romantic visions of his love. But memory turned traitor; and, as if possessed by the perverse spirit of the girl, would only recall Jo’s oddities, faults, and freaks, would only show her in the most unsentimental aspects.” 

Jo no longer fits as his heroine, no matter how hard he tries. So he gives up on that, and his imagination promptly comes up with another heroine for him without even trying: 

“This phantom wore many faces, but it always had golden hair, was enveloped in a diaphanous cloud, and floated airily before his mind’s eye in a pleasing chaos of roses, peacocks, white ponies, and blue ribbons. He did not give the complacent wraith any name, but he took her for his heroine and grew quite fond of her, as well he might, for he gifted her with every gift and grace under the sun, and escorted her, unscathed, through trials which would have annihilated any mortal woman.”

While Laurie doesn’t realize it, the woman he’s imagining is Amy. Amy with the blue ribbons in her golden hair, who put roses in his buttonhole, who he watched feed the peacocks in Paris, and who he first saw again in a carriage drawn by ponies. It’s also a little prophetic, as he does escort the real Amy through future trials. (Bonus: at the same time, Amy spends her time sketching some faceless man who clearly resembles Laurie, but she doesn’t realize it either.)

Contrary to what some in the fandom would claim, Laurie isn’t at all forcing himself to love Amy just so that he can be part of the March family. He doesn’t even realize that she’s become the “heroine” in his story, that she’s the woman he’s fantasizing about. He thinks he’s doing this to improve himself for Jo, but it’s Amy that’s inspiring him. 

And then Laurie realizes that his feelings for Jo are disappearing:

“Laurie thought that the task of forgetting his love for Jo would absorb all his powers for years, but to his great surprise he discovered it grew easier every day. He refused to believe it at first, got angry with himself, and couldn’t understand it [...] Laurie’s heart wouldn’t ache; the wound persisted in healing with a rapidity that astonished him, and instead of trying to forget, he found himself trying to remember. He had not foreseen this turn of affairs, and was not prepared for it. He was disgusted with himself, surprised at his own fickleness, and full of a queer mixture of disappointment and relief that he could recover from such a tremendous blow so soon. He carefully stirred up the embers of his lost love, but they refused to burn into a blaze: there was only a comfortable glow that warmed and did him good without putting him into a fever, and he was reluctantly obliged to confess that the boyish passion was slowly subsiding into a more tranquil sentiment, very tender, a little sad and resentful still, but that was sure to pass away in time, leaving a brotherly affection which would last unbroken to the end.”

This passage alone pretty much puts to rest the idea that Laurie never got over Jo. He actually got over her so easily and quickly that he felt disgusted with himself, thinking this made him fickle. His romantic feelings are gone, and soon will leave only a “brotherly affection” when the last of the hurt is gone as well. Maybe he got over her so easily because he simply mistook his strong bond with her for romance, or maybe it was just a rash and immature first love that was never going to last long anyways, or whatever else... point being, he got over her.

And Laurie was actually trying, and failing, to rekindle any love for Jo (unlike his unconscious growing feelings for Amy, which he wasn’t pushing for at all). As a last ditch attempt to revive that love, he writes to Jo asking if she was sure about her refusal, and when she responds that she absolutely could never love him that way, he accepts it without sadness or complaint this time. He’s already over her, so there’s nothing to be heartbroken over. That was his closure. He takes off the ring she gave him and locks it away with her letters, and that’s that. 

And that’s when he’s ready to open his heart to Amy. He starts corresponding with her so often their letters are flying back and forth constantly. He wants to go back to her, but he doesn’t want to until she asks; she finally does after she hears about Beth’s passing, and Laurie immediately drops everything to go to her “with a heart full of joy and sorrow, hope and suspense” (and this is after he knows she’s turned down Fred, so we know what he’s hoping for now). Amy is his first priority after Beth dies, even though Beth was dearest to Jo. Laurie meets Amy in Switzerland and, without saying anything, they both know their relationship has changed. 

They spend weeks doing everything together and spend all their time out at the lake. Despite the sad tidings, they wind up being their happiest together in Vevey. They both know that they’re in love with each other without even having to say it (they really seem to develop an unspoken communication at this point). And while Laurie knows that she’ll say “yes” to his proposal, he’s still nervous so he puts it off to enjoy his time with Amy in Switzerland. He imagines proposing to her in the chateau garden at moonlight, but instead blurts it out while they’re on a lake in the middle of the day:

Feeling that she had not mended matters much, Amy took the offered third of a seat, shook her hair over her face, and accepted an oar. She rowed as well as she did many other things; and, though she used both hands, and Laurie but one, the oars kept time, and the boat went smoothly through the water. “How well we pull together, don’t we?” said Amy, who objected to silence just then. “So well that I wish we might always pull in the same boat. Will you, Amy?” very tenderly. “Yes, Laurie,” very low. Then they both stopped rowing, and unconsciously added a pretty little tableau of human love and happiness to the dissolving views reflected in the lake.

And there’s so much to say about this little scene. While he had to beg and argue with Jo just to finally accept her firm “no”, he just has to ask a simple question with Amy and he gets his simple answer because they’re on the same page. The rather blunt metaphor of rowing well together, even when he uses one hand and she uses two, is all about how despite their differences they work. They keep time. And it calls back to Jo’s talk with Marmee where they both agree that Jo and Laurie never would’ve worked, in part because their similarities would clash horribly in a romantic relationship (but mainly because , y’know, Jo never once felt a single shred of romantic love for Laurie). 

Now, I can understand where people come from thinking Laurie was “replacing” Jo with Amy with lines like "Laurie decided that Amy was the only woman in the world who could fill Jo’s place and make him happy”. I get how this can be interpreted as Amy filling in for what was meant to be Jo’s place in his heart. But it makes a lot more sense in the context of Laurie’s speech to Jo towards the end when he explains his feelings:

“I never shall stop loving you; but the love is altered, and I have learned to see that it is better as it is. Amy and you changed places in my heart, that’s all. I think it was meant to be so, and would have come about naturally, if I had waited, as you tried to make me; but I never could be patient, and so I got a heartache. I was a boy then, headstrong and violent; and it took a hard lesson to show me my mistake. For it was one, Jo, as you said, and I found it out, after making a fool of myself. Upon my word, I was so tumbled up in my mind, at one time, that I didn’t know which I loved best, you or Amy, and tried to love you both alike; but I couldn’t. And when I saw her in Switzerland, everything seemed to clear up all at once. You both got into your right places.”

Laurie didn’t settle for Amy. Amy took Jo’s place in the sense that they swapped places in how he saw them, from romantic to platonic for Jo and vice versa for Amy. And those wound up being their “right” places. He believes he was always meant to fall in love with Amy and see Jo as his sister, and that he would’ve gotten to this point naturally even if things had played out differently.

I’ll admit I wasn’t a fan of how the 2019 film portrayed Jo in this situation, because in the book she was absolutely thrilled for Laurie and Amy, and is happily surprised when Marmee tells her she’d been hoping for them to fall in love. But in the film, they take her sadness over her loneliness too far IMO, and make it seem like she was actually bitter over Amy and Laurie being together, which unfortunately fuelled the “Amy stole Laurie from Jo” crowd a bit. And after her conversation with Marmee where she admits that she only wants Laurie because she longs to be loved, and Marmee points that “that isn’t the same as loving”, this makes movie!Jo seem “silly and selfish” as book!Jo puts it (because in the book, that was only a “what if” she entertained and never wrote any letter). 

Anyways, to conclude on all of this, when Amy and Laurie are married at and home, we get the thoughts of other characters on their relationship, and the unanimous opinion is that they’re completely in love and happy with each other. Jo herself insists that their happiness will for sure last, and notes how proud Laurie seems to be to call Amy his wife. Laurie, meanwhile, can’t stop talking about Amy through to the end (and Amy is clearly just as smitten). I dare you to read the last half of Part 2 and not find Amy and Laurie adorable together. 

And to hammer that last nail in the coffin on Jo/Laurie as a romance, we get Laurie meeting Professor Bhaer. It’s specifically noted that while Laurie is suspicious of Bhaer and notices his interest in Jo, it was “not of jealousy” but a “brotherly circumspection”. Amy even asks him if he’s at all jealous and Laurie tells her “I assure you I can dance at Jo’s wedding with a heart as light as my heels. Do you doubt it, my darling?” and it says that Amy’s “last little jealous fear vanished forever”. Laurie actually winds up happily supporting Bhaer once he sees he’s a great guy for his sister Jo, and suggests to Amy that they should try to help them out as a couple.

So no, Jo never loved Laurie romantically, Laurie absolutely did get over Jo, Laurie and Amy are so happy together it’s almost obnoxious, Jo is pro-Amy/Laurie and Laurie is pro-Jo/Bhaer, and Amy wasn’t a second choice, she was Laurie’s “meant to be” by his own words.

[pl-panda]

To Marry a Vigilante: Part 7

MASTERLIST || First || Previous || Next

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At least their purchases were found undamaged. That was a little upside to the disaster of the supervillain attack. Marinette suspected Tikki might’ve had something to do with this, but didn’t comment. Police kept the rope dart as evidence, but they promised to return it as soon as it was possible. Marinette gave Gordon her number (after the commissioner was vouched for by Damian) and number to her mother. It was a possibility that she would’ve been called to court to testify. She was a prime witness and while her involvement declared only self-defense, Gordon told her in all honesty that the lawyer might try to put some blame on her. It was a sad reality, but Damian reassured both his beloved and the commissioner that they would be prepared. Waynes kept a contingent of lawyers not without reason. 

The teens were picked up by Alfred before the press figured out who the mysterious hero of the day was. Marinette really didn’t need more lights on her. It was enough that she agreed to make her relationship with Damian Wayne public at the gala. Objectively, she knew it was a better option than for the press to learn from students of Gotham Academy. Inside, she was dreading the event anyway. 

When they arrived at the manor, Sabine, Tom, and Bruce were waiting for them. The girls launched themselves at the woman and she pulled them into a hug. Damian followed slowly, not revealing any emotions. 

“I received a call from Jim,” Bruce began once they were behind the closed doors, “something about Firefly and brave teens stopping the attack.” He looked at all three of them with a judging glare. It wasn’t that he was disappointed, but it made the teens feel under deep scrutiny.

“It was all me!” Marinette confessed immediately. “He stopped us from escaping and we were with a bunch of kids. I just acted and I might have kinda accidentally… defeated him.” She spoke very fast. 

“Don’t worry, Sweetie. We’re not angry or anything.” Sabine quickly reassured her while sending a glare at Bruce.

“Well… Yes.” The billionaire nodded slowly. “But you could’ve been more careful.”

“Ridiculous!” Chloé stared at the Wayne patriarch. “Utterly ridiculous! Of course, Dupain-Cheng could’ve just run away and left those poor lost kids to die, but she stayed.”

“I didn’t mean…” The man tried to speak, but the blonde ignored him. 

“But no! Mr. Batman thinks that suddenly protecting others without the suit is somehow wrong. I didn’t see you on the scene at all. There was Red Hood, but he arrived there only after Mari already took out that flying pyromaniac.”

“I just…”

“So don’t go off on us preaching safety when you have your kids running on the rooftops every night.” 

“But…” Bruce had no idea what just happened. He only wanted to congratulate them…

“I did get all the fabrics I will need, but we didn’t get to eat.” Mari decided to change the subject and spare her father-in-law further humiliation at Chloé’s hands.

“The lunch will be ready in five minutes. You can take it in the dining room.” Alfred spoke from behind Bruce, startling the poor billionaire. It was apparently not his day. 

When the group moved there and took their seats, joined by Cass, who was the only other permanent resident of the Manor, Marinette decided on the next subject. 

“And how did the Class trip go?” She asked her mother with a bright smile. The woman sent her a tired look in response. 

“They are monsters. I sympathize with their parents if that’s how they act every day…” 

“They can’t be that bad, love.” Tom tried to defend the kids, but several stares from around the room would kill him if it was possible. “I meant can. My English is bad. I meant can.” He raised his hands in surrender.

“That Lila girl is indeed a talented manipulator when she is not going overboard. If I didn’t know her, I might’ve actually fallen for her lies. And she even doesn’t resort to lies anymore.” 

“What?!” Marinette was glad that she only got the lunch served and didn’t yet eat anything. “No way!” 

“Yes. It looks like she established herself as an internet star to the point where she is somewhat famous.” 

“Tt. She is still a harlot.” Damian muttered loud enough for everyone to hear. 

“The modeling for the Gabriel brand and Ladyblog. Outside of Paris, it would make her into a star of some internet super-hero show in addition to a front-page model!” Marinette was suddenly enlightened. “I can’t believe her lies actually worked!” She collapsed in her chair, resigned. “Guess lying did work for her in the end…” Her face took a look of a beaten puppy.

“Say a word, Angel, and we can make you into three times the star she might be,” Damian spoke and Chloé nodded in agreement. 

“It’s not that!” The bluenette tried to protest. “I just… Her lies hurt people. I told her that it wouldn’t work in the long run, and she proved me wrong ten times over…” 

“Lila… bad.” Cass frowned. “Hurt Nettie.”

“Cass…” The girl tried to say something, but her cousin continued.

“I will… hurt Lila.” She stated confidently. 

“No!” Marinette protested. “I’ve got enough trouble stopping Damian and my mom!” 

“She is bad,” Cass stated confidently. 

“Cassandra.” Bruce glared at his daughter, but before he could explain things to her, Sabine intervened. 

“Sweetie, I appreciate you wanting to help Mari, but we must also respect her wishes. Even if I already have a place chosen… Never mind.” She smiled brightly before anyone questioned her. 

The whole table exploded into laugher while Damian and Cass smiled wider than usual. It was just such… a familial scene. Like they weren’t a bunch of superheroes, but a happy family. Even if the talk was about murder. 

----------

In a dark, damp room two people stood opposite one another. The male figure had a dark purple suit with the signature butterfly brooch pinned to the top of the shirt. His chest was protected by two black flaps that looked a bit like the moth wings. In his black gloves, he held a cane topped with a purple orb. The face was covered by a simple domino mask that did nothing to hide the mane of blonde hair on top of his head. 

On the opposite was a woman in a dark-blue dress that hugged her figure very tightly. The clothing ended barely above her bust, continuing with a sparkly net that was almost translucent. From under the cut starting just below the belt, her legs were also visible and covered in the same sparkly net. The blue/purple of her skin clashed slightly with the dress, but the sparkles of the fancy net managed to offset it to the point it was barely noticeable. Her deep-blue hair was pinned back into a rather messy bun with two long strands framing her face.

“Are you sure?” The young man asked. 

“Don’t worry,” she dismissed. “My grandma reassured me that this is perfectly safe. Besides, it’s too late to stop now.” She grinned and pointed her folded fan at the ground. When she unfolded it, several candles lit with pink flames, bathing the room in an eerie light. The light reached to three bodies laid in circles drawn with their blood. The two figures in the center were also in a runic circle. 

“The bond will not interfere with my Princess?”

“Whatever that vile American did to her must have hurt her badly. You do want to save her and lift the curse, right?” She grinned when there was a new fire in his eyes. “And I told you about my demands.”

“I’m still not convinced.” He glared at her. “And I told your grandfather that his demands are ridiculous.” 

“They are my demands.” She corrected him in an amused voice. “If you don’t want my help…” 

“Fine. I will do it.” He suddenly closed the distance between them until they were face to face. “But don’t even try to trick me. I’ll know and I will end you. Nothing will stop me from getting what I want.” 

In response, she gave him a quick peck on the lips. Immediately, the boy recoiled. She just licked her lips. “Whatever you want, beloved.”

“Ugh. Let’s just get done with this.” 

The candles went out one by one when the female chanted in Latin. When the twelfth and last one died out, the room was once more dark. Then, the runes lit and red light enveloped both of them. She reached to the center and grabbed a small goblet. After taking a sip, she handed it to the boy. 

He hesitated for a moment, but then also took a sip. They were both enveloped in deep scarlet light until it died out and both of them fell unconscious on the ground.

----------

Marinette and Chloé had to go with the class for the next trip, which was to the Botanic Garden. Damian and surprisingly Cass also joined them. And this was how the class almost signed their death warrant and handed it to Sabine. 

As soon as the guide started speaking about various plants they had there, Alya and Lila started gossiping in the back. 

“...told you she was a…”

“...I can’t believe he would…”

“...and that black-haired…”

“If it was up to…”

“I bet she just…”

“Maybe it’s a thing here?” 

Finally, Sabine had enough. She asked the guide for a five minutes break to rein in the misbehaving group. Caline tried to protest, but she was silenced when the older woman looked her in the eyes with fires of fury. 

“Listen up, because I’m not going to be repeating myself.” She started. “Cassandra is my niece, who lives in Gotham. By a lucky turn of events, she turned out to know Damian and agreed to accompany me and Marinette today.” She glared at every student in the group. Sabine noted that Alix stood alone in the back, separate from Max and Kim. “She is a precious little bean and if any of you dare to say anything bad about her again without even trying to talk to her first, I will personally see to it that your trip will be very-” She made sure to put emphasis on the word “-unpleasant. And if you even think about hounding her, I will see you suspended.”

“Now… Sabine, I think you’re…” Madame Bustier tried to defuse the situation.

“Caline. It is, and always will be for you, Madame Cheng. I’m on this trip to make sure they behave. If you’re not going to help me, try not to make my job harder than it already is.” She huffed and looked back at the class. “Am I understood?”

Several barely audible “Yes” could’ve been heard if someone tried hard enough. 

“Good for now.” Sabine looked at their guide. “I’m sorry I had to interrupt.” 

“No worries Mrs. Cheng.” The woman chuckled. “Anyone who tries to badmouth Cassandra or anyone from her family deserves your wrath.” 

“Good. We can continue.” And so the group moved on. 

Lila decided to change the subject of her lies and now kept talking about how good friends she was with Damian Wayne, or rather her Damiboo. It was clear that their guide wanted to add something, but Marinette’s boyfriend made a gesture to stop him. The grin on his face made it clear he had different plans.

After they finished the trip, the class was placed in the bus with Sabine while Damian and the girls were left free to wander around. Some tried to protest, but one murderous glare from Madame Cheng shut them up hard. 

“Why Marinette and Chloé are allowed to wander around with some boy, while we are confined to the Hotel!?” Kim protested. 

“Yeah! Lila can’t even meet her boyfriend!”

“It’s simple.” Sabine cut them off. “Marinette and Chloé are staying with Damian’s family, which is their host family for this trip. You will be meeting your host families after the new year.” She couldn’t stop herself from rubbing some more salt into Lila’s wound. She might be an adult, but it doesn’t stop her from being petty sometimes. Especially when someone decides to speak badly about her favorite (and hopefully only) niece. “If your… Damiboo was missing you so much, you could’ve asked him to invite you. Cassandra said he is attending Gotham Academy. I’m sure he would love to have you stay with him at Wayne Penthouse.” 

“Oh! He did want me so badly with them, but we agreed that it would be better for me to get to know some of his friends.” Lila answered quickly and Damian had to stiffen a groan. How could someone be so dense? 

“Suuure.” Sabine grinned. “Then please don’t complain about the situation of your own making.” It was clear that the discussion was over. Damian, Marinette, Chloé, and Cass were left to their own device. 

“Chlo, I love you like the best friend you are,” Mari started when they were alone, “but Damian’s got a date planned. So bye!” She said before running off with her husband, leaving the flabbergasted blonde and the noirette alone.

“Ice cream?” Cass pleaded.

“Fine. I guess I can hang out with you then.” 

“Ice Cream!” The other girl almost jumped in the air. 

----------

The couple walked through the gardens in silence, holding hands and enjoying the cool air around them. The temperature was warmer than outside, but still rather frosty. Marinette, feeling bolder, dragged Damian’s hand down slightly and pulled him closer to her. She cuddled into his shoulder and smiled. After dealing with the class, it was nice to have some peace, only the two of them. 

“So…” She started with a grin. “Wayne penthouse?”

“Tt. For your information, it’s where Drake and Brown live.”

“But Damiboo! You wound me! And I thought we could stay there together.” Marinette did her best Lila impression. 

He tried to scowl, but the end result was an unholy mix between scowling and grinning. 

They wandered around, laughing at occasional jokes and generally enjoying the time. At some point, Marinette dragged him to a hot-dog cart to enjoy what she called a ‘taste of America’. He couldn’t help but smile at some of her antics. They stopped for some coffee to rest their legs. He allowed her to talk most of the time, listening to all the details of her new outfit for Jagged Stone. 

“...so I decided to replace half of the usual silver studs with golden ones. Or rather gold-colored. He doesn’t actually like the wealth display that much and is all for replacing it with cheaper ones. When his producer one time tried to force me to make him everything with the actual gold, Jagged signed it and immediately donated it to The Gotham Orphanage.”

“I remember.” Damian’s memory flashed him an article about it. “And don’t be modest. It held your signature too.” 

“Well… He wanted to throw it to Fang first. It was so much not his style.” She smiled. “Bob almost had a stroke when he learned that he still had to pay for it full price. I think it was actually the first commission I accepted that was not priced like clothes for friends. I did deduce the cost of materials that he provided though.” 

“Habibti. You’re amazing.” 

She blushed at the compliment. “I’m not! I’m just a normal girl.” 

“An amazing normal girl.” 

“How can you be so smooth and so socially awkward at the same time?!” She squeaked.

“Because people are fools. You are perfection incarnated.”

“Stop it!” She giggled. “I’m not! I’m clumsy and awkward.”

“It doesn’t stop you from being perfect.” He countered. Before she could protest, he lifted a cookie and put it in her mouth. She bit it and munched it in silence. When she swallowed, he continued feeding her. In retaliation, she picked some whipped cream and gave it to him. They ended up feeding one another and laughing.

It was slowly getting dark, so they started walking toward where Alfred would pick them up. They still had some time, so Mari dragged Damian into the music store. There was a whole stand for Jagged Stone discs. 

Marinette, feeling devious, pulled out a marker and signed two before handing it to Damian. He thought for a short moment before making a small heart next to her name and putting down his autograph too. They hid the discs behind others and moved on. In the end, Marinette bought some ballet music for Cass that Damian told her she didn’t have yet. The bluenette liked her cousin and wanted to get her something for ditching her with Chloé

When they exited the store, Alfred was waiting there, ready to take them to the Manor. The two sat in the back of the limousine in silence, cuddled together. By the time they arrived at their destination, Marinette had dozed off. Not having the heart to wake her, Damian did his best to gently lift her and carry her to her room. Somewhere along the way, she clutched to him tightly and didn’t let go even when he placed her on the four-poster bed. He sighed. He didn’t know if he would survive the teasing he would receive after someone finds them. Scratch that. Sabine would kill him before that. 

Still, he would have to wake her up. With one more look to make sure the doors were closed, he lied next to her and stared up. He could at least stay awake, right?

-------------

Masterlist // Next

[captaiinkick]

                      𝟘𝟘𝟙 .  RELATIONSHIPS 

* THE LOVERS, REVERSED ; disharmony, loss of balance — ZIA

    it’d be instinctive to think the chemistry between captain kick and babydoll would transcend into their real-life dynamic, will has had issues communicating with zia. none of it is her fault, of course; to in any way mislead her into thinking it is would pain him even more. the conflict began back during the team’s first run, and fifteen years or so later it lingers. the feelings were there - will knew how zia felt, and he reciprocated the feelings since the very beginning. zia has always been the only person he’s ever pictured himself being in a relationship with ( reason why he never came close to establishing anything official with anyone else. he tried several times, but he kept coming back to the memory of zia and how unhappy he felt without it ). however, he always simultaneously feared and dislike the thought that forcing them together would drive them further apart. he didn’t want their relationship to be a mere fabrication, a narrative crafted for the sake of toy sales and viewer ratings. in his stubbornness to keep it from happening, will distanced himself from zia, effectively damning the relationship from seeing the light of day. he regrets all the discomfort and suffering he may have caused her, but he’s yet to learn to make himself available to her and get over his worries to make their connection work. of course it’s easier said than done, but will doesn’t want to think of what would happen if something were to go awry in one of the missions, and the two never got to experience the relationship they’d wanted & deserved.

* THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE, UPRIGHT ; change, cycles — ALEC

   will never really knew how to feel about alec -- well, actually, he did, but it was too chaotic and ever-changing to put into words. the few constancies in his attitude toward the other man remain, however. it all stems from will’s own insecurities. he’s become convinced he’s not the best fit for the position of the team leader, namely because it should be filled by someone like alec rather than himself. he excels in every way in which will doesn’t, and it scares will to his core. he constantly thinks of the many ways in which the team would benefit from having alec as the frontrunner, and he’ll get so consumed by his own stream of thought that eventually the idea of stepping aside and giving his position up to alec will begin taunting him. but at the moment, all of this remains unvoiced. the one thing that makes will feel like his stay is worthwhile is being at the head. it’s become such a relevant influence on his self-confidence, his identity. without it, will doesn’t know what would become of him, but still he can’t say it doesn’t feel unjust to deny the team the leader they deserve. 

* STRENGTH, REVERSED ; insecurity, doubt — LAURA

   will’s aware that he wasn’t particularly close to laura back in the 80s. he felt there were a couple barriers between them, namely the different ages and the nature of their positions ( captain kick would be seen mainly with babydoll, after all ). still, behind the scenes, he made sure for them to be on at least good terms. there was some contact throughout the years, but it was admittedly more sporadic than with other exemplars. now, however, will’s perception of laura has changed, if he were being honest. they are similar to those which he holds for alec, in the sense that it pains him to see someone clearly more qualified, skilled and deserving of a leadership position remain under ‘his’ command. he carries a bit of guilt for this, and is often unsure as to whether or not to divulge this to her. again, this is mainly out of the fear that once the bureau and the exemplars discover that they’d be better off following someone else’s calls, then that makes him dispensable. 

* THE EMPEROR, UPRIGHT ; authority, control — CESARE

  things with cesare have always been tricky. will’s opinion on him shifts from time to time. sometimes, he’ll delight in some wishful thinking and hope the two could reap the benefits of a more balance partnership. it’d be for the better, after all. this whim, however, is often shot down in the face of an argument or a disagreement. will thinks it wrong to challenge cesare’s position ( surely the bureau granted him that degree of authority for a reason, and being born into a family who instilled in him an admiration toward hard workers, he simply cannot bring himself to disregard him on that basis ). however, that doesn’t mean he’ll stay quiet and agreeable all the time. the two have starkingly different views as to how approach certain parts of the missions -- will lets himself be lead by emotion, while cesare’s strategic thinking is unparallaled. so whenever it gets too much, there’s bound to be a clash -- in times like these will doesn’t mind being a bit more brazen than usual, since he very well knows the lives of so many are at stake. 

   at the same time, will admires and envies cesare. he wishes he could be that collected when under pressure, or that he had his ease with words. he wouldn’t want to be in his shoes, however, given the bureau’s undermining of his performance ( will doubts he would make it through that kind of pressure ). sadly, more often that not whichever positive feelings he has for him will be placed on the back burner as conflict between the two unfolds. 

* TEMPERANCE, UPRIGHT ; finding meaning, patience — DAMIEN

   yet again, will wishes this relation, in particular, could be less complicated. then again, he’s to blame for it. back during their first run, will felt guilty damien would be forced out onto the sidelines. he wanted to make sure he felt welcome in the team. slowly, their conversations became more common, and nowadays will would say the two are good friends. they bonded during very personal moments, and many of his favorite memories are of times spent with damien. however, it is a bit more complex than that. naturally, there are so many aspects of damien’s life that will is not aware of, and out of a fear that he’d be overstepping any boundaries, will maintains his interactions with damien as formal, ever so nonchalant, but never entirely honest. he conceals most details of his own personal life to damien too. while he wishes he could bring himself to be honest, will cannot find it in him to own up to this helplessness and vulnerability. troubling damien with that burden has never been an option. so for the most part, will relies on small talk, and the moment it crosses that line, he feels exposed and bothersome. the last thing he wants is to bring damien’s mood down, or have him waste his time keeping watch over him. though, there are so many similarities between the two that surely neither of them have realized, and they could definitely become great sources of support for one another if will weren’t so afraid to admit defeat. 

* THE SUN, UPRIGHT ; joy, celebration — TANGO

   will likes tango. while he was initially startled by the sharpness of his fangs, it soon became clear that the ferocity and wildness that the media used to characterize him was far from the truth. tango was kind to will in a way some people weren’t, but more importantly, he always treated him with dignity. this never failed at moving will, and he’s never managed to grow angry at the other. he admires how well-meaning and resilient tango has remained, especially considering the media’s scrutiny and the bureau’s treatment. that being said, there are so many things about tango that intrigue will, but he finds it impolite to ask and/or pry. he would also like to know more about what life with such heavy involvement from the bureau has been like, but again, will thinks it might be insensitive to ask such specific, obvious questions -- or worse, that more than just come off as nosy, that it’ll bring more attention to his strict living conditions and somehow prompt him to feel downtrodden. truly, will thinks tango deserves the best. not only has he had to deal with having the reputation he did, to have the coverage bite into the narrative of ‘wild beast’ so frequently. he knows it is hard, but will wishes tango could enjoy a much freer life once the missions are over and done with. 

* THE HIGH PRIESTESS, UPRIGHT ; inner voice, intuitive — BETH

   beth and will are very similar on so many levels. they are both natural caretakers and seek to ensure everyone’s wellbeing. but much like with damien, the extent to which will voices his deeper, more emotion-heavy thoughts is very limited. he has a good relationship with beth, but he is not always honest with her. from what she has disclosed to him, and the few letters exchanged here and there, will got the feeling that she was doing fine. and if that is the case, will is happy. beth is someone who he felt also didn’t get to thrive back when the team was first assembled, and being responsible for accounting so many civilians, he thinks it is about time she got more recognition. 

    at the same time, will wishes there could be a more transparent channel of communication between them. her accident with the faulty wings wasn’t a secret, but will’s thoughts and emotions in the aftermath were never extended over to her. ever since that happening, will’s become more apprehensive and protective toward the team since he has realized there are external factors at play that he can’t control. he so deeply wishes he could bring it up in a discussion with her, but he doesn’t want to go there fearing it’d be like pouring salt into a wound.  

* THE MAGICIAN, REVERSED ; illusions, out of touch — ADDY 

will wishes he could be like addy. he has never had it in himself to be reckless, to be impulsive. the fact that addy manages to pull them off with such ease is admirable in his mind ( it even becomes an enviable skill in his eyes ). he understands that to be forced into such a one-dimensional character must’ve been rough, but he is mostly blinded by the awe and wonder which he’s always experienced when seeing addy out in the field. seeing her stunts used to make him feel like a kid, all full of excitement and a thirst for adventure. he lived vicariously through the unrestrained attitude of the character, because he felt like he was not allowed to act in such a way as a child. he always looked up to addy in a way, and how she balanced tallahassee’s exuberance with her own aim to keep everyone safe. deep down, he wished he possessed that ability, that he would stop feeling so self-conscious and tied down by his inhibitions- since he can’t, he’ll just resort to watching addy continuously do it with that unparalleled facility. 

* JUSTICE, UPRIGHT ; clarity, truth — BENJI

   will feels a lot of respect toward benji. he has always helped not only will, but the team as a whole. he could confidently call benji one of the pillars of each operation, and has no clue what would become of each mission were benji not involved. will has always watched benji do his job with a certain curiosity and intrigue, even though he didn’t grasp most of the concepts benji’s work oversaw. not a day goes by where will doesn’t feel thankful for having druid on board, but sadly, the difference in their positioning and tasks during the missions felt like somewhat of a barrier between the two. now that the team is back together, will has been trying to gather some courage and voice the admiration he feels towards benji. he thinks of pendulum, and how much was left unsaid when she passed, so he doesn’t want to make the same mistake again.

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 48

It’s like reading a reaction-gif summary of the previous chapter except every gif is just pain and also made of words instead. With bonus prophecy.

Chapter 48: Reading the Commentary

Min sat in Cadsuane’s small room, waiting—with the others—to hear the result of Rand’s meeting with his father.

Yeah about that.

A low fire burned in the fireplace

And a much less low (bale)fire burned in Rand’s hands…

Mix that with Min’s discomfort around Rand lately

The fact that even Min feels ‘discomfort’ around Rand is uh. Telling.

Though perhaps, just maybe, he turned a corner of sorts in that last chapter. Via attempted patricide, but whatever works.

Then again, maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part and he’s gone off to incinerate someone else instead.

But the pattern of the narrative points more towards the former, I think.

Min’s uncomfortable about Rand, and a very different sort of uncomfortable about Cadsuane—or perhaps ‘ambivalent’ is a better word. Cadsuane does not make for an easy ally, but she does have her talents, and their aims do align even if just about everything else about them differs.

So Cadsuane’s planning and Min’s reading commentaries on the Prophecies of the Dragon. This ought to be interesting.

One line in [the Commentary] teased at her, a sentence mostly ignored by those who had written commentary. He shall hold a blade of light in his hands, and the three shall be one.

OH OKAY PROPHECY INTERPRETATION TIME. HERE WE GO.

The blade of light seems like it has to be Callandor, especially given Rand’s own musings about it last chapter.

And the three shall be one…the first thing that comes to mind is the fact that Callandor can only safely be used in a circle of three. Which Rand currently sees as a box, as strings tied to him, as a trap…but flip that around and it’s an image of balance and unity and trust. So that’s definitely an option.

Or maybe it’s something else entirely; maybe the ‘blade of light’ is another reference to ‘he shall slay his people with the sword of peace’ and the three that shall be one are…maybe the three major groups of people? The Aiel, the Seanchan, and the ‘wetlands’? That feels like a bit of a reach; the three people in a circle to use Callandor safely seems more likely.

Though apparently various scholars fall more on the nations side of things and tend to think it’s about three major cities or kingdoms. In that case I’d side with my own choice of three rather than just three wetland nations, but either way if that’s given as the default opinion in the text it’s almost certainly wrong, so I guess we can throw that one out.

Min, no, you’re not useless.

And what of Min’s own relationship with Rand? She was still welcome in his presence; that hadn’t changed. But there was something wrong, something off. He put up walls when she was near—not to keep her out, but to keep the real him in. As if he was afraid of what the real him would do, or could do, to those he loved…

Rand, fix this. Min Farshaw deserves better.

But now he has been brought directly to that point of crisis, to looking down at his own father and weaving the balefire that would erase him from existence, and thinking, truthfully, that it is no more than I’ve done before. His own fear of that exact fate brought him to that point—so was he right to be afraid? Or is it the fear that made it into a near-reality, as he fought so hard to deny it or prevent it that he ended up in a war with himself that made it into not just a possibility but a near-inevitability?

It’s perceptive of Min, though, to recognise that he’s not keeping her out but trying to hold himself in. Even Rand can’t quite see it that way, because he is in effect locking himself into a box of his own making and calling it liberation.

And it would be so easy for Min to be hurt by it and think it was directed at her, think that he was indeed trying to wall her out; that’s a pretty common response from anyone who’s being kept at a distance by someone they care about. But Min is Min, by which I mean she’s fucking incredible, and so she sees past that and to the truth: that this isn’t about her; it’s a war of Rand against himself and she is a casualty, not a cause. And not just that, but she sees the reason why, and sees much closer to the truth of what it’s doing to him, and instead of being angry or offended she’s trying to find any way she can to help him.

Again, Rand, Min deserves better and you should thank her profusely when you uh…sort some of your shit out.

He’s in pain again, she thought, feeling him through the bond. Such anger. What was going on?

Do you really want to know?

Still, it’s more than the flat nothingness he’s felt when committing atrocities in the past. Because that’s what that last scene was: a shattering of the ice, and a point of collision of everything Rand’s tried to hold at bay, a collapse of all those walls and barriers and a flood of the feelings he’s tried to suppress. But hopefully it’s an implosion rather than an explosion; Rand’s been externalising his pain without really…acknowledging that he’s doing it for so long, when what he needs to do is actually deal with it and with everything else about himself he’s been trying to ignore or suppress.

She had to trust in Cadsuane’s plan. It was a good one.

The sad thing is that it really is a good plan. By which I mean it has—on paper—a good chance of succeeding at Cadsuane’s goal of getting Rand to re-learn laughter and tears (well, a better chance than just about anything else at this point), but it also is simply good for Rand himself. He needed to see Tam, and Tam is someone who can offer him the kind of help and support and love he so desperately needs but can’t ask for. And Tam, as his father, is going to see him as Rand, the boy he raised, rather than as the Dragon Reborn who owes salvation to the world. It’s a good plan because while there is of course a motive outside of simple concern for Rand’s wellbeing, it’s not a trick or a trap even if Rand sees it as such. It’s just…something good for him. Something he and Tam both want and need and should get to have.

And the fact that it fails precisely because it’s Cadsuane’s plan is sort of a cruel twist and yet at the same time a fitting case of catastrophic consequences.

Cadsuane and Rand get along like oil and water. Or perhaps like flint and steel, striking sparks when they interact simply because of who they are.

Cadsuane’s intentions are good—she wants to save the world and she has, at a few points, actually said out loud (and she cannot lie) that she is trying to do what is good for Rand, not for her or for the White Tower or anyone else. She’s trying, in the best way she knows how. And she’s right about so many things: that he needs to relearn laughter and tears, that he cannot face the Last Battle as he is now, that in many ways he still is just a boy and he’s lost and without direction or guidance, that like it or not he carries the task of saving the world, that he’s becoming too cold, that balefire is dangerous, that he needs to see his father.

Her aims are good, and even some of her reasoning for how to accomplish them is fairly solid. She tries putting Rand off-balance and making it clear that she is not going to be cowed by the simple fact of who he is…which again comes very close to being exactly what he needs. If she fears him he will not respect her, and if she doesn’t push him he will never listen to her.

But it falls apart when it comes to her specific methods. She means well, and her follow-through is almost what he needs…and then veers off in the opposite direction. It’s part of why I appreciate her so much as a character, I think, because that’s such a fascinating dynamic to watch. And it’s a fascinating way to show absolute failure: by anchoring it in very good reasoning and insight and perception and logic, and letting it come very close to something that will work, and then just…swerving away at the last second. It’s frustrating and agonising at times and yet feels so much more real than if she were just hopelessly misguided from the start.

Instead, it comes down to personality and communication and trust, as so many parts of this series do. It’s a conflict of personality and a misunderstanding of motive and a lack of communication; two strong personalities shouting at each other across a room and refusing to budge, rather than taking a step towards where the other stands and meeting somewhere in the middle.

So when she fails it doesn’t feel like the cheap failure of a plan that was stupid and doomed from the start, the way you often see in fiction. Instead, it feels like the frustrating failure of an intelligent, capable woman who tried her best and executed a plan that could have worked but that fell apart because of a chance word and a clash of personalities and a problem of methods.

Though I wonder.

Did she fail? I’m framing it as if she had, but in a way…she was right that Tam was, probably, exactly the person Rand needed most to see. The one person who might be able to get through to him, and force him out of the mindset he’s in one way or another. And…well, he sort of did, I think. Could anything else have brought Rand to that point? Would anyone else have survived that moment where he came closer to that last line, to repeating Lews Therin’s last deed? Would anyone else, watching Rand weave balefire in terror, have caused him to question, and at the last moment make a different choice?

It’s certainly not the precise outcome Cadsuane might have intended or expected or hoped for, but…was it really a failure?

And the other side of the question is: if this does work, and if the result of all of this is somehow Rand coming back to himself (or some version thereof), does it really matter who gets the credit? Would it be Cadsuane, for orchestrating this, or Tam, for being exactly who Rand needed and also just an all-around excellent father, or Rand himself, for holding back, or anyone else all the way along the chain of causality?

In the end, can any one person take credit for what ultimately has to be one man’s choice?

I guess we’ll just need to see what the actual aftermath of that last chapter looks like. After all, Rand made…I think…the right choice in that moment but what comes next? Does the collapse continue, and can he pull some of himself out of it intact? Or will he turn away again and drag those walls up again and set another city on fire? Personally I lean towards the former but we’ll see.

What were Rand and Tam discussing? Would Rand’s father be able to turn him?

That’s…still an open question at this point, I think. But it looks like maybe yes. Kind of. Perhaps. Just about. Indirectly. By way of balefire and internal crisis and memory of the worst moment of his last life. You know, as you do.

“Cadsuane,” Min said, holding up the book. “I think the interpretation of this phrase is wrong.”

Round of applause for Min! Imposter syndrome who?

Seriously, stating outright disagreement with the opinions of a well-respected scholar when you’re the equivalent of an undergrad is hard. Especially when your audience is Cadsuane.

Beldeine seems to take the standard view that Min is an undergrad and therefore has no idea what she’s talking about. Well, Beldeine, unfortunately for you Min is on the protagonist side of the narrative so she’s probably right.

Nobody could humiliate one more soundly than an Aes Sedai, for they did it without malice. Moiraine had explained it to Min once in simple terms.

That alone is astonishing: an Aes Sedai explaining anything in simple terms is practically unheard-of.

Aes Sedai would be very good at the icily professional business email of shame.

“And why,” Cadsuane said, “is it that you think you know more than a respected scholar of the prophecies?”

“Because,” Min said, bristling, “the theory doesn’t make sense. Rand only really holds one crown. There might have been a good argument here if he hadn’t given away Tear to Darlin. But the theory doesn’t hold any longer. I think the passage refers to some way he has to use Callandor.”

“I see,” Cadsuane said, turning yet another page in her own book. “That is a very unconventional interpretation.” Beldeine smiled thinly, turning back to her embroidery. “Of course,” Cadsuane added, “you are quite right.”

So while we’re on the topic of Cadsuane’s methods…

It’s a harsh challenge to Min, especially as it plays directly into what she must know are Min’s insecurities about her position as a young self-taught scholar. At the same time…actually, I think the main reason I don’t have any problem at all with this is because I’ve had professors like this. The ones who push you in precisely the places where you’re most uncertain because they want to see if you can create a strong argument against the exact challenges you’d get from the field as a whole. It’s a case of ‘this is what you’re going to face if you publish this, so you’d better be prepared for it and have a sound argument’.

Does Cadsuane have to say it the way she does? No. But in a way, this is her giving Min a fighting chance to prove herself. Cadsuane is old and competent and walks a line between highly confident and arrogant, but she does listen to young people and unconventional ideas when she genuinely thinks they have merit. It isn’t always easy, and she absolutely has her biases that prevent her from being fully open-minded, but she is capable of changing her mind. So she’s giving Min a chance here, because she believes in giving people what they deserve. She’s not going to dismiss Min on the same basis Beldeine did; she’s going to credit or dismiss Min based on how sound her ideas are.

Cadsuane’s methods often centre on challenging people, and pushing them in directions that make them uncomfortable, and yeah there are all kinds of problems with that and she sometimes comes down on the wrong side of it. But at other times there’s value in the way she does it. It’s just that, like anything else, taken to extreme or excess it’s a problem, and it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution, and she’s a flawed person like most people so sometimes she fucks up by letting her own confidence/arrogance carry her across the line from challenging and somewhat abrasive into unnecessarily harsh and somewhat abusive.

Anyway, Min seems to have acquitted herself well in this mini thesis defence here, but…it makes me wonder if it’s too simple a win to actually be correct.

“Through a great deal of searching I discovered that the sword could only be used properly in a circle of three. That is likely the ultimate meaning of the passage.”

As soon as a character says ‘that’s probably what it really means’, I begin to doubt. Especially because there’s sort of a rule of threes, here. We get the first explanation from the scholars’ interpretation, which is there to be proven wrong. Then you get the protagonists’ first interpretation, which is usually closer but ultimately also either wrong or incomplete. And then at some stage you get the third and ‘true’ explanation, in which everything comes together.

Sanderson holds to this particular rule of threes in his other work, so the pattern seems especially…likely, here.

So what else do we have three of? Past, present, future would be an interesting one. There’s the trio of Elayne, Min, and Aviendha but that doesn’t seem to fit here. There are far more than three people in Rand’s head at this point or else I’d have posited an outside guess at Rand, Lews Therin, and Moridin.

There are a lot of dualities in this series, but fewer trios than one might expect from epic fantasy. I blame the gender binary.

But seriously, there are so many opposing or balanced pairs—Light and Shadow, Creator and Dark One, saidin and saidar, salvation and destruction, White Tower and Black Tower, men and women, what hand shelters, what hand slays?, chaos and order, Rand and Lews Therin…it’s a series that deals with this idea of balance, and of what happens when one side of a balanced system is thrown off, and of how to find that balance between opposing or antagonistic forces without erasing one or the other. Which is fascinating and all, but right now I need sets of three.

I guess there’s technically the True Power along with saidin and saidar.

Okay actually that’s interesting. Rand has channelled the True Power, after all. And according to Lews Therin, his attempt last Age failed because ‘we used saidin, but we touched it to the Dark One. It was the only way! Something has to touch him, something to close the gap, but he was able to taint it.’

And Rand touching the True Power, while it certainly served to turn that scene into…*waves hands wildly in the direction of everything That Scene is*…that, seems like yet another of those things, like Callandor, that should have some further purpose. What good does dragging your character to that point of absolute horror do, if it can’t then be flipped around later into some kind of key?

Well, I mean, it causes great pain and suffering for the character and thus for the readers, which really is plenty of purpose in and of itself and I’m sure as hell not complaining, but. My point is. That right there is a loose end that, used correctly, could be part of a really satisfying twist or tying-off.

But then how does that relate to Callandor? Unless it’s just that he needs to be in a circle of three, and thus allowing flows of saidin and saidar to be controlled, and then he separately but alongside that channels the True Power as well? Hmm. When I try to put it all together it doesn’t fit as well as I thought it would. So either I’m wrong or I’m still missing something.

But it would fit with the rule of threes I was playing with earlier (first answer characters come to is wrong, second is closer but incomplete or slightly incorrect, third is a late realisation that brings it all together) in that it would allow Min and Casuane to be partially but not completely right: Rand needs to be in a circle but there’s more to it somehow.

Maybe.

Nynaeve is in the room as well, being Nynaeve. In case anyone was wondering.

And…what was that vision that was suddenly hovering above Nynaeve’s head? She was kneeling over someone’s corpse in a posture of grief.

Min was just thinking about Lan so that seems like the connection we’re supposed to make here, which of course makes me doubt it. I also am still holding on to my certainty that Lan is going to live (denial? What are you talking about?). And the fact that this is appearing suddenly, given that we know exactly what’s happening in another part of the palace, suggests that it’s related to something Rand has just done or decided, something that has tipped the future towards this outcome.

And that makes me think of Egwene’s own dreams, and Min’s other viewings, of Rand and corpses and funeral biers or pyres, and mourners. Which of course brings us back to that whole question of what happens to Rand? Thanks, Aelfinn, for your clear-as-mud answer on that topic.

At one point, when all the Forsaken were coming back in different bodies, I thought maybe Rand had a chance of something similar, especially as there are definitely some lines that seem to point in that direction…but so far that seems like the Dark One’s domain, so now I’m not so sure. Maybe to live, you must die really does just mean he has to die in order to be part of the cycle of rebirth again. Or maybe he could be reborn immediately, and given a chance to live in peace in the world he has bought with his sacrifice? Or, with Egwene’s dream of a funeral pyre, some sort of phoenix-like death-and-rebirth healing or renewal of body and soul? It would fit the Fisher King theme we’re working with: the land renewed and changed and maybe healed, and so the Dragon getting the same, through some kind of cleansing fire type thing. Rising from his own death, finally healed of the wounds he has carried and thus taking part in the renewal, but no longer recognisable as who he once was, because this will be a different Age and the man who had to play that role is effectively dead (at peace), allowing Rand al’Thor to have a life?

I don’t know. I predict metaphysical fuckery, and beyond that I give up.

“Cadsuane,” she said. “This is still wrong. There’s more here. Something we haven’t discovered.”

“About Callandor?” the woman asked.

Min nodded.

“I suspect so as well,” Cadsuane replied.

Well at least they agree with my little rule of threes.

Oh hi Tam.

“What have you done to him?” he demanded.

Cadsuane lowered her book. “I have done nothing to the boy, other than to encourage him toward civility. Something, it seems, other members of the family could learn as well.”

“Watch your tongue, Aes Sedai,” Tam snarled. “Have you seen him? The enitre room seemed to grow darker when he entered. And that face—I’ve seen more emotion in the eyes of a corpse! What has happened to my son?”

Oh, Tam.

He’s furious here, and it’s directed at Cadsuane, and perhaps rightly so…but I think there’s another layer to this, which is that he has just seen his son, who seems barely alive and is surrounded by darkness and Tam had to stand there and talk to him and still feel powerless to help. He’s grieving.

And it’s an excellent counterpoint to the Tam we saw last chapter, because it’s a way to almost watch the scene again through his eyes. We saw him filtered through Rand’s, and we saw him careful and gentle and offering anything he thought Rand might take. He pushed Rand a bit, towards the end, but even then he was absolutely the father trying to help his wounded child.

Here, though, we see Tam’s side of it. We get his impression of Rand, we get his shock at the darkness that surrounds him—a shock he absolutely could not let Rand see.

We see his pain now, when he tried so hard to hide it in that last scene for Rand’s sake.

Tam al’Thor is a good parent and this hurts.

And I also really like how the love that pushes Rand to this breaking point, to the point of repeating but then rejecting Lews Therin’s past, is the love between parent and child rather than, say, the love he feels for Min or Elayne or Aviendha. And it’s not even the second cliché of a mother’s love; it’s the bond between an adoptive father and his son. I mean sure, that comes  up plenty in the genre as well, but it’s just nice that that’s the tipping point. It’s something a little different and it’s lovely.

Tam took a deep breath, and the anger seemed to suddenly flow out of him. He was still firm, his eyes displeased, but the rage was gone.

Tam was the one who taught Rand the trick of the flame and the void, after all. And he’s using it here because now he’s feeling more than he can deal with; it’s all too much all at once. But he knows, too, how to steady himself.

“He tried to kill me,” Tam said in a level voice. “My own son. Once he was as gentle and faithful a lad as a father could hope for. Tonight, he channelled the One Power and turned it against me.”

I am emotionally compromised.

And he’s not even angry at Rand for that, because it’s all so wrong, and so instead it’s just pain. Pain for Rand’s own pain, shock at what Rand has become, grief for the boy he was who—by his own words and Tam’s acceptance—may as well be dead now, and something almost like disbelief that they could have come to this. I think he even knows that it’s not really personal, but that doesn’t make it better. This is his son except he’s so lost and broken that Tam doesn’t know how to bring him back.

Because at this point Rand is the only one who can do that. If he chooses to.

The words brought back memories of Rand looming over her, trying to kill her.

But that hadn’t been him! It had been Semirhage. Hadn’t it? Oh, Rand, she thought, understanding the pain she’d felt through the bond. What have you done?

This is precisely the distinction I tried to make last chapter, but it gets harder and harder to hold those things separate, and now Min has to wrestle with that and face what Rand has just done of his own volition, and that’s twice now that he’s almost killed those he loves most, and the first time he was controlled by Semirhage, but what does it mean that he almost did the same now?

Does it help, Min, that he’s asking himself that exact same question? What am I DOING?

There’s so much pain in these chapters it’s overflowing the book and I’m FINE.

Of course Tam went immediately off-script. That feels like a genuine flaw in Cadsuane’s plan; she shouldn’t have given him a script at all. She should have known that wouldn’t help, that Tam and Rand needed to be able to just…talk.

“I don’t know what you did to him, woman, but I recognise hatred when I see it. You have a lot to explain to—”

On the one hand, Tam does certainly have cause to be angry with Cadsuane. On the other hand, Rand’s state of mind is not Cadsuane’s doing, any more than it’s any single person’s doing. It’s the result of two years of torment and responsibility and trying to endure the unendurable.

But then, can you fault Tam for being angry, and looking to any target he can find? This is his son, and what he’s just seen is horrific, and he has to do something.

In short, we’re all emotionally compromised.

Except Rand, who has simply compromised his emotions.

Cadsuane calling Tam ‘boy’ is…grating. Though she does have several centuries on him. Still.

“Cadsuane!” Nynaeve said. “You don’t need to—”

“It’s all right, Wisdom,” Tam said.

HE CALLS HER ‘WISDOM’. I mean, with a second or so to think about it, of course he does. But given all she’s struggled with, and her entire character arc of growing beyond Wisdom of Emond’s Field and finding her strength and authority in a world so much larger than her village, and learning to make her place and claim respect in her own right…it’s just really lovely for her to get this nod from Tam. To him, she is still Wisdom, and he accords her that respect without even a moment’s hesitation.

It’s like Rand said: Tam is one person who hasn’t changed. He’s a fixed point in a world where so much is uncertain and so much is shifting.

Tam stared [Cadsuane] in the eyes. “I’ve known men who, when challenged, always turn to their fists for answers. I’ve never liked Aes Sedai; I was happy to be rid of them when I returned to my farm. A bully is a bully, whether she uses the strength of her arm or other means.”

…fair enough.

And it’s good to see someone challenging Cadsuane on that point, especially someone like Tam who can sustain that challenge. He’s like Gareth Bryne that way: he’s damn near unflappable, and she can’t get a reaction out of him through her usual tactics. It’s the sort of thing a character like her needs to run into sometimes, because the thing with Cadsuane is that she’s been on top for so long, and in the Aes Sedai power structure that means no one challenges her. And so there’s no check on arrogance that can so easily creep in to what once was simply confidence, no pushback when she takes something too far. That’s not good for anyone.

“Didn’t we warn you that Rand had grown unstable?”

“Unstable?” Tam asked. “Nynaeve, that boy is right near insane. What has happened to him? I understand what battle can do to a man, but…”

Ow ow ow this hurts.

(I feel like the whole second half of this book, and especially the last several chapters, have been basically just…[not pictured: me, trying to walk quickly across hot sand sprinkled liberally with broken glass and burning coals, mostly failing and going ‘ow’ a lot]).

One thing that stands out here is how differently Tam responds to Rand’s…‘instability’…than so many other characters do, or would. Because once again, he responds entirely as a parent, above all else. He doesn’t shiver in fear of what this might mean for the world, or simply stop at stating that Rand hardly seems sane as if that’s all that needs to be said, or suggest a course of action. No, he just asks, calmly but with this undercurrent still of loss and something like desperation, what has happened. He hasn’t seen Rand in years and now he sees this, and he wants to know what has hurt his child.

It stands out especially given that Cadsuane’s next statement is to tell him that’s irrelevant. Because she is one who looks to the world first, and the person second. (And I’ve said this before, but her viewpoint absolutely has its place as well, but it’s that as well that’s important. You also need people like Tam or Nynaeve who look to the person first).

Tam knows what PTSD looks like and this is something else, and he’s angry, yes, but mostly I think everything about his response in this whole scene is just a manifestation of…shock and grief and confusion and pain at seeing his son hurt in a way that he doesn’t even know how to identify, much less help.

I am not a parent, so I could be completely off-base about all of this, but this seems like it has to be right up there with a parent’s worst nightmare: to see their child so hurt and so far gone and to be helpless to do anything at all to save them. I mean, Rand outright said that the Rand Tam knew, the Rand Tam raised, was dead. And Tam just had to stand there and take that, and again I’m not a parent but even I know that no parent should have to bury their child, much less stand there and watch him bury himself.

And that feels like the root of Tam’s responses here: his gentleness with Rand; his pushback when he thought he had just enough of Rand’s attention that maybe, maybe Rand would listen; his horror at watching Rand weave balefire because I think he was just as afraid for Rand as of him in that moment; his uncontrolled anger at Cadsuane when there’s no other way to release what he’s feeling; his shock and confusion now as he tries to figure out what has happened to his son.

This is not Tam al’Thor’s best day, is what I’m getting at here. He rescued an infant from the slopes of Dragonmount, only to find that some part of that child never truly left that mountain and everythign hurts and nothing is okay and I would like ten million more chapters of this please.

“If you’d explained to me how he regarded you,” Tam said, “it might have gone differently.”

He’s probably right, there. That’s one she really should have been more open about.

But she has a point, too: there’s no use going over the woulds and shoulds and maybes. And…I have to wonder if there was really any way for that conversation to end other than it did. If it hadn’t been the mention of Cadsuane, it could just as easily have been something else that set Rand off. A rage in him fit to burn the world, and he holds it by a hair. That’s more true now than it was even when Cadsuane first said it; he is unstable for all that he thinks he is cold and controlled, and he has almost no limits on what he is willing to do (except perhaps one), and that whole conversation was, in retrospect, a time bomb.

Because at this point, given how far he has gone, I don’t think anyone could truly just…call Rand back in a single conversation. I think it has to come from him; and I think with all the walls he’s built and all the damage he’s done to himself, with this war he’s been fighting against himself as much as on the field, a violent moment of crisis might really have been inevitable, and possibly the only way to force him to face that.

So passing blame around like a hot-potato is…an understandable part of the process, because they’re human (silly mortals), but ultimately probably not going to accomplish anything.

“This is what we all get,” Min said, “for assuming we can make him do what we want.”

The room fell still.

Okay so.

On the one hand, this is a great line, and to a certain extent I agree…

But. On the other hand, it feels a bit…I don’t know. Cheap? Simplistic? Not quite true? Because at least three of the people in this room are among those very very few who do actually look at Rand as a person, as the person he was, rather than as the Dragon Reborn, saviour and destroyer of the world. Nynaeve followed him out of Emond’s Field, with the others, and followed him into a dream battle and said ‘at least let me heal you’ because there was nothing else she could do. Min has stood by Rand through most of the series purely because she loves him, and when so many other people’s perceptions of him were changing, she told him ‘I see you, Rand. I see you.’ Tam al’Thor is Rand’s father, and hasn’t had a chance to do much for him directly, but he hiked to Tar Valon to try to find him, and then specifically stayed out of his way because he thought that was the best thing he could do for him.

These are not people who have been trying all along to manipulate Rand into doing what they wanted.

And even this…this is an intervention, more than anything else. When your friend, lover, son, former babysittee, whatever is willing to annihilate cities, I think it’s fair to step in.

What help would they be to him if they just stood by and watched his descent this entire time? What good would it do anyone—Rand included—for them to never push back when they thought he was going too far, to never question his decisions? It’s like I was just saying above regarding Cadsuane: it’s not good for anyone to live unquestioned and unchallenged, especially if they hold that kind of power, authority, or influence.

And when talking to someone stops working, when reasoning with them stops working, when begging them stops working, and when, again, they’re ready to annihilate entire cities…yeah, you’re going to have to look at other options.

But none of them started at that point, and they’re some of the few who really haven’t been manipulating him to their own ends in general, and so this feels a bit…unfair, I guess.

I love Min, but I’m not sure I completely agree with her here. It would be a very true and very fair statement if made in just about any other company, but to Nynaeve and Tam? Not sure I buy it.

That said, in light of everything happening, I think everyone’s entitled to a bit of unfairness and anger and shock and all the other emotions flying around because hell, I’m emotionally compromised and I’m just the reader.

“He opened one of those gateways right on the balcony. Left me alive, though I could have sworn—looking in his eyes—that he meant to kill me.”

It has to mean something that he stopped himself. That has to be the turning point we’ve been waiting for. It’s too perfect a mirror/inversion of The Last That Could Be Done for it not to be…right?

Also someone please just sit Tam down with a giant mug of hot chocolate. This genre is not easy on parents even when they survive the first chapter, as it turns out.

“I’ve seen that look in the eyes of men before, and one of the two of us always ended up bleeding on the floor.”

Wow, okay, uh, sure, that’s…a line. Damn. There’s a whole conversation to be had here about swords and ploughshares and men who have seen too much and yet find a peaceful life for themselves in the aftermath but I don’t have much more than an ‘in this essay I will…’ for that so I’ll leave it for now.

But I think, in that exchange, it’s Rand who is left bleeding.

That moment tore open the wound he’s been trying to stifle and ignore, the gaping wound in his past life that led him to his own suicide once and that he is now forced to remember but has never been able to process. How the hell do you even begin to process something you never did, except a past you did do it, and suddenly you get that just…dropped into your brain and it’s yours but not yours and is it any surprise Rand has ended up where he is?

It tore that wide open by forcing Rand to face it head-on (no more than I’ve done before) and face it as himself rather than as a memory of a past existence that he can try to shove away. And it tore down his walls and threw emotions like knives at the shields he’s been trying to hold up and even if he’s not bleeding physically, he is absolutely bleeding.

And so is Tam, if we’re talking metaphorically here. That conversation was not without casualties.

“Ebou Dar,” Min said, surprising them all. “He’s gone to destroy the Seanchan. Just as he told the Maidens he would.”

But that would mean closing down anything that might have come of that conversation and realisation, shoving it all away back behind those walls of ice, and I’m no more a therapist than I am a parent but I’m pretty sure genocide is not a recommended coping mechanism for…uh…anything.

“Light preserve us,” Corele whispered.

Rand’s been evoking that reaction a lot, lately. It’s become something of a repeated chapter ending the way ‘Tarmon Gai’don’ echoed throughout Knife of Dreams.

Next (TGS ch 49) Previous (TGS ch 47)

[eldridgecandell]

Confronting Ghosts

A heavy pounding resounded the small room of Erlain Candell as he jolted from his chair.  Conservative was an understatement of the packed inn, but Fort Daelin wasn’t exactly going to be a quiet place any time soon.  News had arrived earlier in the week of the full scale attack of the Naga and their horrific queen, neither side in the Great War prepared.  This wasn’t how things were supposed to be going with the war with the Horde in full swing.  War had a way of screwing things up.

The heavy pounding came again as the door of his room rattled on the hinges and drove him to his feet.  

“Just a moment,” he called out as weakly as he could muster.  His quick and strong stride carried him to his dresser and the heavy broadsword of nethersteel that rested quietly for it’s master.  Grasping the hilt and moving swiftly back to the door, Lain position himself to one side of the entrance.  Face grim and blue eyes narrowed, bare feet would adjust their stance and prepare to counter this seige.  Another three strikes to the wood.

“Give an old man a moment, here we are now.”  Erlain called out as he reached gently to the door lock and flipped it.  The iron latch would lift and clatter followed by the slow creak before opening wide.  A booted foot would cross the threshold as his scarred hands gripped the scabbarded sword tightly before swinging it at the intruder.

Clashing cries of the same tone would resound as the leather guarded blade was caught by strong hands with a thunk.  Bared teeth and blazing blue eyes would meet and lock before the old man’s pressure would halt and eyes widen. 

“Eld?”

A grunt and shove would throw the surprised knight of his step and send him stumbling back into the edge of the old bed.  The dark cloaked figure stepping in with heavy footfalls before slamming the door behind him.  A swift turn would blow his hood back to show the middle aged man shooting daggers at his father.  Words would start and stop as Erlain bounced out of his shock and used his sheathed weapon to pin his son against the oak door.  Eyes blazing with equal anger sent accusatory hurt straight at Eld.

“What the hell are you doing, boy?  Have you lost your light addled mind?”  Lain snarled at his son as he struggled to hold the witch hunter at bat.

“What am I doing?  What are you doing?”  Eld growled back as he shoved against the sword.  “Or more so what did you do?”

Like two enraged wolves the Candell struggled against one another in the grapple.  Eventually the older would give way as he spoke.  “Damn it Eld, calm the hell down!  I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You damn well do, I sent her here for help!”  Eld shoved back with his strong arms, both warriors and equal thanks to time and experience. 

“What?”

“Tidesinger you sanctimonious bastard!”

Lain blinked as he heard the name and cooled his rage to a hard frown before relenting and releasing the younger Candell.  “What about her?  What’s happened?  Calm yourself boy.”

The son sucked in a shaky breath, Eld relaxing his burning arms before he leaned against the door.  He’d let himself get angry and not in the productive way but the stupid way.  The witch hunter definitely felt foolish, but that’s what happened when danger claimed those closest.

“Emma, she’s been arrested.”

Lain grimaced harder as he adjusted the grip of his sword to be drawn but faithful his son wouldn’t bring it to that.  “What do you mean arrested?”

“I’m not sure if there is another word I can use to show the gravity of what’s happening,” Eld responded coolly.

“Shutup, Eld.  Why would you think I had anything to do with that?”

“Because as I said before you’re a sanctimonious ass.”

“Bastard.”

“What?”

“Bastard.  You called me a bastard,” Lain replied curtly as he scowled at his son.  “And I advice you be careful how you speak of your grandmother.”

“You think this is a joke, Lain?  She’s is in prison.  She’s more than likely heading to the noose and you want to joke about what I called you?”  Eld snarled as he started forward at the elder Candell before the ethereal misted netherblade sat between the pair.

“Easy boy,” Erlain spoke clearly and sternly as he held his son at bay.  “We both have faced a lot of terrible things in our days so far.  We likely will face far more, but by the light I am your father and I’m telling you to call down.”

Eld continue to seethe under the older man’s hard gaze and parental tone.  Lain always knew how to get under his skin and always knew how to poke him out of his usual cool calm.  The father and son bond they shared carried a simmering rage that one of the other always tapped in their meetings.

Eld let out a shaky sigh before Lain nodded with a grunt and lowered his sword.  “Let me see the letter, Eld.”

•

To the Attention of Eldridge Candell, 

 It is at the behest and under the authority of the Proudmoore Admiralty that this missive reaches you by post. The individual known as 'Emma Tidesinger' has been apprehended by the Admiralty military police within the city of Boralus under suspicion of crimes under the provision of the Lord Admiral and the Alliance. She is being held to await trial for crimes against the Admiralty, the Alliance, and their people. 

 It is the understanding of the Admiralty that the individual mentioned above is an associate of yours. As a citizen of the great nation of Kul Tiras, the Admiralty is requesting your presence in Boralus to meet before a tribunal regarding your ties with the alleged. Please see the notary attached for scheduling and location.

•

Lain stroked his mustache softly as he sat in the chair, his sword still free to the warm air of his room as Eld sat opposite him on an old footstool.  The younger Candell kept his gaze on the fire that crackled and bit at the small provided logs.  The water stained proclamation sat between them, rolling at the edges from its long journey from the south.

“This is not good, Eld.”

Eld grimaced and bit his tongue to hold back the frustrated sarcasm his family cultivated when under stress.  Folding his hands before him as he squeezed them right, his reply would be strained by calm.  “I know it’s not good, Lain.  That’s why I’m here.  I had her come asking for your help and a few weeks later I’m summoned to a tribunal regarding treason.”

The witch hunter would look up to his father again with a tightened jaw.  “So you tell me what happened when she got here.”

Lain continued to stroke his mustache before letting out a hard sigh from his crooked nose.  “Ms Tidesinger came to me about investigating the azerite and its effects on those using.”

Eld’s former cold anger was caught off guard by his father’s admittance of the supposed strange life blood of the world.  “You’re using azerite?”

“Why does that surprise you?”

“It just feels out of character for you,” Eld replied with the same curious look to the estranged parental figure.  “You were always such a by the bootstraps and your own hands way of doing things.”

Lain’s frown easily matched Eld’s at the accusatory tone of his son regarding his use of the mineral.  “Are you here to judge me or to find out what happened?”

Eld cleared his throat and went quiet as he waited for the man to continue.  Lain nodded curtly before continuing his story, his words short and to the point.  “For the next few weeks we traveled together.  I did most of the heavy lifting, she kept her nose in her books.  Days were fairly simple as went around helping with a few jobs here and there for the people of Stormsong.  She kept a safe distance and asked questions while I worked.”

“She stayed here and we took meals but for the most part it was a professional relationship for the couple of weeks.”  Eld nodded softly as he listened to Lain and tapped his chin as he tried to find something useful from the basic story.

“So nothing else odd?”

“No.  I used the azerite and did my work, she took notes and records.  Nothing else.”

It was just as Eld had thought things would go for Emma when he sent her here to see Lain.  Unfortunately it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“What do you think I should do?”  Eld spoke quietly, his former fury cooled as he found himself lost on his next action.

Erlain sat quietly watching his son for a few moments before looking into his low hearth fire, doing his best to mask his surprise at being consulted by his son.  “I think you should go to Boralus and hear what this tribunal has planned.  Perhaps your testimony might aid her defense.  Hopefully others have been called, I’m not privy to Kul Tiran judiciary system.”  

“They’re going to ask questions.  About myself and from before,” Eld replied quietly, caution outweighed his fear regarding his past.

Lain let out another long sigh as a snort, his fingers drumming absently along the pommel of his blade. “And that will be your bridge to cross.”

Eld nodded, his hands pressing to knees as he eased himself up to feet with a grunt.  “Then my road lies back to the south.”

“Son.”

Eld paused, one hand on the latch of the oak door as he stood silent facing the door.

The knight stood up from his chair but did not close the gap with his son, merely holding staring at the back of his only kin.  Eldridge was all he had left.  A family lost to war so long ago but still hurting to the core of who he was. He had to try, time never stops.  “Eld, do you have to leave just yet?  I know this is important but I feel I deserve a little of your time.  We can’t go on living this way.  Can we talk?”

For a moment, the witch hunter held at the oak door hearing his father’s words.  Each struck deep and gripped his heart with pity for a moment, there was a certain finality to the old man’s request.  But each pang reopened other ones.  An argument in a stable, harsh words at a tower, and the final blows at the crossroads.  They froze him inside as he felt his hand close about handle and squeeze tightly as the heat of his anger would simmer under the ice in his veins.

“I thought we made it clear before where our relationship stood, Lain,” Eld spoke coldly as he twisted the handle.  

Erlain’s face fell as his hopes were cast aside, the similar grim frown on his face as he wanted to one more word to his boy but found he couldn’t.  Both of them had said a lot of things, perhaps too much or too little but they had been said.  Nothing could change the past.

The silence sat like a heavy curtain between the Candells before Eld pulled the door open and closed it softly behind him.  

(This is in response to a recent storyline regarding @emma-tidesinger created by @whimsicallyart .  I apologize for how long it took to put together but hopefully it was enjoyable!)

Players @eldridgecandell @erlaincandell @emma-tidesinger

[3w-writer-with-wings]

Kusanagi vs. Yusaku - Ultimate Ordeal indeed

It has finally come to this, the scene from opening that has been keeping us hyped since May, is here! Kusanagi will finally duel, but not against Lightning but against Yusaku! I’ve had several theories about how this would go, but that was months ago and a lot has happened since then. So let’s see what is likely to happen and how this arc will conclude.

From the start, it was rather obvious that neither hacking nor duelling was something Kusanagi was good at. In fact, Kusanagi represents that part of the yugioh fandom that is not that good with the card game. But then again, he is doing all of this for his little brother Jin. If it weren’t for the Lost Incident, Kusanagi would most likely be in college, studying sports, but due to Jin’s condition he completely changed his course of life, becoming a hacker. The whole reason why Kusanagi met Yusaku in the first place was again for Jin. As the fellow Lost Incident victim, Yusaku is set on saving Jin just as much as Kusanagi and getting his consciousness back was his sole goal of this arc.

But what happens now? The ultimate showdown between team Playmaker and Lightning team is about to clash. It is really hard to tell if Soulburner and Blue Maiden will defeat Windy and Bowman, but my guess is – they will. We are currently halfway through Soulburner vs. Windy duel and according to the summary, there is a great chance Takeru and Flame will win. Windy is the kind of a character that becomes careless when being over-confident or angry, just like during the duel with Revolver. Windy made himself clear that he hates humans to the point of attacking his partner. When he saw Flame and Ai being together with their human partners he was most likely disgusted by how attached they were to Yusaku and Takeru. I have a theory why he might hate his partner to this point, but that’s a theory for a separate post. Anyway, Windy will reveal it in the next episode and it is quite possible that Windy sees their partnership as a weakness and Soulburner will have a great chance to prove just how wrong he is. If Windy was shocked by Revolver’s Synchro, just imagine how shocking Takeru’s XYZ would be to him.

Now moving on to Aoi vs. Bowman. The summary revealed that Bowman is indeed grieving due to Haru’s loss so going after Aoi will be a great opportunity for revenge. But then again, Bowman is an AI, programmed with what he is supposed to think and know so he most likely doesn’t understand the concept of siblings, blood-related or not. Now Aoi is such a sibling and in the end, she managed to make Haru understand what it meant and I bet she will use that to her advantage. Something is telling me that Bowman and Haru weren’t a random creation – the concept had to come out of somewhere and in this case, it came from Lightning’s origin – Jin.

Every Lost Child had something to keep them going in order to survive those six months. Yusaku had Revolver’s three reasons. Miyu had Aoi. Spectre had the feeling of importance. Takeru and Windy’s Child probably had something too. Now what about Jin? We still don’t know much about him, except from what Kusanagi said about him – that he used to be cheerful and kind. From the photo we can also guess that he was close to his brother, just as much as Kusanagi was and maybe even idolized him. What if Kusanagi was Jin’s three reasons? What if the thought of his brother kept him going through all of this suffering? A part of that might’ve shaped Lightning and this may as well be a reason why he took Jin’s consciousness in the first place. Jin was afraid and lonely throughout the Lost Incident, longing for his big brother. A part of that remained in Lightning and he no longer wanted to be lonely, so he took Jin, but kept him as a puppet, enough to satisfy his desire to have someone and not in a way with his plans.

So once Aoi defeats Bowman who wishes to be reunited with Haru, his little brother, Lightning realizes just how powerful bonds of siblings are. By now he already lost two strong members of his team and is truly at the end of the rope. What can he do now to defeat four powerful duellists? He is alone and despite being powerful, he knows just how powerful Yusaku is and doesn’t want to risk losing that one duel. So what he does? He looks for the weaknesses. Perhaps he gets the idea when analysing the consciousness data from Blood Shepard and sees how he searched through Takeru’s memories. But then he thinks about Haru’s and Bowman’s bond and thinks about their origin – Jin and Kusanagi. Now Yusaku’s weakness has been revealed back in Tower of Hanoi arc during the duel with Spectre. Yusaku’s greatest weakness is that he doesn’t want to involve anyone but himself in this dangerous mission. He doesn’t care what happens to him, but the second someone’s life is in danger it becomes completely different.

From the start Yusaku has been helping Kusanagi to get revenge on people who hurt Jin. He didn’t think twice about getting the antivirus for Aoi. He froze when Ghost Girl was erased. He refused to attack Spectre when Akira’s life was in danger. He fought Revolver in order to save him. The moment that Jin’s consciousness was taken, he linked in VRAINS. He refused to log out when Takeru was trapped. He tried to save Go. And every single mission in this arc has been dedicated to Jin. Yusaku greatly cares for others since he knows what it means to be hurt, used and isolated. It scarred him for life and he doesn’t want anyone to go through this pain. And this is the kind of a weakness that Lightning would love to use. He has all the means to execute it.

If the bond between Bowman and Haru was enough for him to lose, just how powerful is the bond between Kusanagi and Jin? Powerful enough to strike down someone like Playmaker. Revolver might’ve protected Yusaku from Lightning with that program, but he didn’t make one for Kusanagi. He is all alone in the hot-dog truck if you don’t include Takeru’s and Yusaku’s unconscious bodies, so what is preventing Lightning from snatching up Kusanagi’s consciousness data? Bowman could do it from a turned off TV and there’s more than enough equipment in the truck. Kusanagi might’ve protected it with programs but he said it himself that he is nothing compared to Yusaku – so Lightning would probably have no problem taking him.

And once he gets him in VRAINS, Kusanagi would be most likely taken to that big room where he sees Lightning with Jin. The first reaction would be probably him running to Jin but hesitating once remembering that he is under Lightning’s control. But then Lightning temporarily releases him, showing that he cares and now understands the bond between them, especially once Jin recognizes his brother. Lightning says he can release him or makes it possible for Kusanagi to stay there with him and traps Jin once more just to prove his point.

“I can release his consciousness data. You two can be together again.”

But it comes with a price. He needs Ai and Playmaker. He’s been obsessed with him, even going as far as basing Bowman on them. Bowman lost three times against them and he cannot afford another mistake – especially now that Bowman and Windy had been defeated. His last straw is Playmaker’s weakness – involving someone else. And who better for this job than his own acquaintance and the reason behind all of the latest missions. Lightning could even threaten to kill Jin – as it was most likely proven – Lost Child and their Ignis can survive on their own. Spectre was affected but not hurt when Earth was erased and Windy pretty much got rid of his Lost Child – it is still not clear if he is alive or not, but judging from Windy’s words – even if he would die it wouldn’t effect Windy. So if Lightning killed Jin, it wouldn’t matter.

Kusanagi so becomes Lightning’s lapdog, carrying out his orders in hopes he can save Jin. Yusaku reaches the headquarters but instead of Lightning, Kusanagi is there to challenge him to a duel. Yusaku and Ai try to talk Lightning and Kusanagi out of it, but in the end, there’s nothing else to do but duel. The duel bears a slight similarity to the one between Kaiba and Yugi back in the Duelist Kingdom where Pegasus made Kaiba duel Yugi in exchange for his brother. Only this time, there are two friends. Yusaku might’ve always referred to Kusanagi as his acquaintance, but I believe he is the closest thing to a friend Yusaku ever had. True he only acknowledged Ryoken and Takeru as his friends but as far as I can see it, Yusaku cares about him the most since he is trying to save his brother. There’s no denying that Kusanagi sees Yusaku as Jin, someone he cares about like his own family, but how far is he willing to go for his brother? He has already given up his dream, ten years of his life and quite possibly his future as well for Jin. Is he willing to give up Yusaku as well? Probably not, but deep down he probably does.

And then we have Yusaku, selfless and tragic hero who got everything taken from him and yet he is ready to sacrifice himself for the sake of others. But this time, the situation is tricky. Even if Yusaku surrendered there would be one other life being sacrificed besides his own – Ai. In the last few episodes, Yusaku has become even more attached to Ai and even acknowledged him as his own person. Surrendering would mean giving up Ai as well, so not only is Kusanagi torn between Yusaku and Jin but Yusaku is torn between Kusanagi and Ai. And not only that – who knows what Lightning will do with Ai and Yusaku? Even if Lightning keeps his word and returns Jin’s consciousness to his body, what would become of the world?

So here are three scenarios of how will this duel turn out.

1) Playmaker wins:

In the most optimistic scenario, Kusanagi puts up a good fight but in the end, duelling is not his thing and Yusaku defeats him. With the final win, Yusaku demands for Jin’s soul and everyone else’s souls to be returned but Lightning tries to make an escape in the last second. Fortunately Ryoken, Takeru and Aoi block him from all sides and it ends with Ryoken erasing him with the very same virus that greatly damaged Windy. With everyone safe and Lightning gone, Team Playmaker and Knights of Hanoi are enemies again and they decide to take care of SOL separately. The next arc so deals with SOL.

2) Draw or no result:

This one is a bit tricky, but it has a great opportunity to explore Yusaku’s and Kusanagi’s relationship. In this case, it would be like the duel between Yugi and Joey – both the one in Duelist Kingdom and Battle City. Like I explained in one of the previous analyses, Yusaku was never able to develop his social skills so he most likely doesn’t understand what being a friend really means. He wants Kusanagi to win but at the same time, he doesn’t want to lose Ai. Kusanagi might break down or unleash his anger, becoming an entirely different person, the one that Yusaku doesn’t know and is ever scared of. Yusaku might even end up the same as Ryoken during the duel with Takeru, and doesn’t do anything, leaving his fate entirely to Kusanagi. In the end, Ryoken, Takeru and Aoi might be able to arrive on the scene and save Jin and scenario is similar to the one where Playmaker wins. But it also could end up with Kusanagi staying behind with a secret program that erases Mirror VRAINS – along with him. Team Playmaker might win, but they lose Kusanagi.

3) Playmaker loses:

And the scenario that I would like to see the most – Playmaker loses and for a very good reason. From the start we’ve been asking ourselves when will Yusaku lose and how. Of course for someone who sees duelling as a matter of survival it has to be a very good reason to lose – either with a very powerful opponent or his only weakness. Kusanagi is not much of a duelist, but he is someone Yusaku cares about and in such situations, Yusaku won’t duel like he normally does. When Yusaku duelled Spectre he wasted an opportunity to win when Akira’s life was in danger. I still wonder how that duel would’ve played out had Akira not sacrificed himself and the most common scenario is that Yusaku loses or someone interferes with the duel. Yusaku might appear cold but he has a pure heart and refuses to put others in danger. One of the main themes of VRAINS is future – which is something that Yusaku believed he no longer has but has been slowly getting it back. For him to give up his future would be the ultimate sacrifice.

So let’s say Yusaku loses on purpose – either by letting Kusanagi win or turning the duel against him. It is quite possible Kusanagi has been studying Yusaku’s deck lately and knows how to defeat him. Lightning gets what he wants – Playmaker and Ai – and the rest is thrown out of the Mirror VRAINS. Lightning might’ve lost Windy and his ultimate project – Bowman, but he has a new project now. Instead of Bowman, Yusaku becomes a carrier of all Ignis and Ai is the first one to forge with him. Mirror VRAINS becomes a new domain where Lightning uses all captured souls aka. Spectre and Blood Shepard to protect it while he works on his new project. Yusaku is once again a prisoner of a cruel experiment, living in the same nightmare with no escape. Only this time he is trapped completely, robbed of his free will.

Kusanagi, Takeru, Aoi and Ryoken all suffer a heavy loss – they might’ve got Jin back, but they lost Yusaku, Ai and Spectre. The team may break apart, lost and not sure what they can do. Yusaku’s unconscious body is taken to a hospital and his fate is left unknown. Takeru might reveal his identity to Aoi so they can go check on Yusaku together. Kusanagi spends his time at Jin’s side, waiting for him to wake up and blames himself for losing Yusaku. SOL continues working on their own Ignis and they get contacted by Lightning who reveals that Playmaker is now under his control and will go after them next.

We’ve seen the cases where protagonist turns into antagonist like when Judai succumbed to the power of Supreme King and when Yu-boys were merged to become Zarc. Yusaku becoming the ultimate AI would be an interesting plot twist. Just think – the hero and saviour of VRAINS suddenly becomes its biggest threat. People are in disbelief and question just who can stop him now. SOL assures that they have the means to defeat him, but I believe there needs to be a team to stop him. What team? Team Playmaker of course.

Ryoken might reconnect with Kusanagi, Takeru and Aoi and they also have a new member – Jin. Maybe the experience with Lightning brought his soul back from the cage he’s been stuck in for the last ten years and is determined to bring Yusaku back after everything that Yusaku did for him. Aoi might even include Miyu after getting her consciousness back from Bowman. The fight is on and Yusaku duels four Lost Children in the ultimate Battle Royale, but in the end Ryoken is the one to defeat him.

What follows next? It is hard to tell considering there is a lot of what-ifs. Maybe Lightning finally stops with his plan and becomes Jin’s partner and together they face against the last enemy - SOL. Maybe SOL used the duel between the ultimate Playmaker vs. Revolver to have their own Ignis learn from it. If the duels between six-year-olds created Ignis, just how powerful SOL’s Ignis might be? Though

then again it is quite possible that the first and the second scenario may play out. Who knows, maybe there is the fourth scenario or a mixture of all three.

But I can already say that Yusaku vs. Kusanagi will be a very emotional duel and I won’t be surprised if the English dub plays “No matter what” in the background during this duel.

[echoheart0324]

*chugs drink and slams hand on table* I never thought I’d go to such a crazy extent, but I got sick of hearing people talk about Blaine in a negative light, so I guess I’m gonna have to pour my whole soul into this, and this might as well be my final big post before I disappear into the void.

I kinda got tired of people saying we know nothing about Blaine, which is kinda true to some extent. However, if you dig around for details and tiny actions, there might be small hints pointing at what might’ve happened. AKA I got a bit carried away about Blaine, since y’all keep pointing out his actions are shady and evil, so I’ll do the exact opposite and attempt to fill in the gaps (or widen them, I dunno. I’ve just been craving to analyze something for ages.).

Anyways this is gonna be kinda long (and a bit repetitive, cuz this is speculation mixed in with my rambling, featuring analysis at it’s finest) and really up to how you interpret his words/actions/how you exactly look at these translations, so all of this is just a very thin stretch (ready to snap or break at a moment’s notice). Who knows, I might be off the mark completely and he may be a villain after all (in which then you can all stab me if you want), but I wanted to at least provide this before my (possible) hiatus day:

()()()

Possible Backstory/Background/Personality Traits/Whatever Else Falls into this Category:

By the look of it, Blaine is well-educated and loves his studies (most likely in the science department if the Dream Eaters are anything to go by, along with his love for books). The name Brain also means ‘noble/son of the judge’ possibly hinting at a high and wealthy status as well. His speech patterns are laid-back and casual, which kinda contradicts his name meaning, but he can also be quite serious and observant (as seen with his explanation about the Player character linking to Strelitzia somehow, his comparison of Skuld to Lady Ava, thoughtfully choosing the Spirits as their first task to help them out in the long run, and figuring out Ephemera as the leader type) if he desires to. His impatience (with Lauriam's arrival and the meeting dragging on) could prove that he's not used to waiting around for things either, though it’s minor and nothing too overboard.

Now this is where the lines start blurring, since the details are kinda all over the place. When Ephemera, Skuld, and Ven are all talking about having friends, Blaine interrupts with, "Friends. Cool." I'm still not sure what the intention was, but he had a smile on his face when saying this, but he never brings up the topic of “friends” ever again. He also reacted quite positively to Ephemera’s teasing aimed at Skuld (while Ven didn’t react at all), which could indicate this type of friendship is familiar to him, but his smile quickly turned into a frown when the topic of lying popped into play. It's a reach for sure, but I don't think Blaine had a good relationship with his friends in the very end. To prove this, Blaine's trust issue with Ava stems off of his morals of honesty, which his friends might've lacked based off his reaction and harsh choice of words. He also seems to avoid a lot of contact with the other leaders, instead focusing on his books and purposely isolating himself as the outsider.

Y'know...maybe Blaine can recognize the leader-spirit in Ephemera because he used to be a leader of something himself (especially judging by how he picked out their first task by himself). Maybe a leader of a party/his friend group? A handful of his personality traits seems suited to such position, such as how blunt he can be, his honesty, his observative behavior, his support (”I trust you’ll lead us down the right path.” -to Ephemera), and quick-decision making backed up with reasonable evidence. Adding onto this, his blunt speech and his quick decision-making might indicate that he's used to serious discussions, and after watching the custcenes a few times, Blaine never seems to argue back at the others’ decisions. He disagrees with the others often, yes, but a heated argument never occurs, since Blaine either decides to go along and accept that he’s not gonna get his way (though unhappy) or the others outnumber him/he gets what he wants. Not once have we seen him angry (I mean maybe we have? It’s kinda really hard to tell with the lack of eyes. He just sorta opens his mouth when he’s upset, but the same sprite is also used when he’s surprised, so??? Let my boy get more original expressive sprites please???). Whatever led to the downfall of his group, might be linked to this (or Blaine’s just a really nice guy. Or both. Both work too), so a heavy verbal argument may have been the key.

This could be why Blaine seems to be pushing Ephemera to the position of their leader, since Blaine regrets (to a certain degree) whatever he couldn't accomplish and wants to guide him on the right path to prevent a similar downfall or the same mistakes he made.

Though it's odd that Blaine was alright with PvP, since it's "just a competition", so I assume there's a competitive nature to him as well, and he received no relative trauma to Keyblade wielders clashing with each other. He also seems to respects privacy to a certain degree (based on his "let's not pry" about Lauriam) and some of his members may have turned to him for comfort, if his friendly brother-like behavior is anything to go by. (No seriously, who says, “You guys are going on a scavenger hunt,” if they’re an incredibly serious person??? Pfft...)

Quick Summary: Anyways, to throw this out there and sum it up, I believe Blaine may have once been a leader of a (hard)core party. His teasing nature shows that he did once have close friends to bond with, but things went downhill, based on his more serious side of his personality and fair distance from the others. The downfall of his leadership/party probably doesn't relate to Keyblade wielders turning their blade against each other, but maybe something more verbally and misunderstandings stacking on top of each other (with lying being involved somehow), where they say things they can't take back. Though based on his position of becoming a Dandelion, I’m assuming the party disbanded early on, since most people became Lux-thirsty once the war came around. Due to his lack of reaction to PvP, I assume he never saw Keyblade wielders fight for Lux in Daybreak Town often, so he must’ve just spending his days inside and reading/running experiments.

()()()

So why are Blaine’s eyes hidden from view on his sprite, but present clearly on his official artwork? After pondering for a bit, I decided to dig in a little deeper to see what I can find. Some sources I found stated that gray eyes could symbolize in for “leadership”, so that could squeeze in for above. On the other hand, the covering of his eyes could symbolize a secret he’s hiding from the other leaders. Note that Blaine has spoken nothing of his personal life, unlike the others. Ven says he’s always been a loner, Lauriam talks about his sister and his relationship with her, Skuld states she and Ephemera were once in the same party. Why is this such a big deal exactly??? There seems to be a connection to having a point where each leader seemed to be alone:

Ephemera: Was the one who left (both Skuld and Player).

Skuld: Was the one who got left behind (by Ephemera).

Ven: Was always alone, so left since the beginning.

Blaine: ???

Lauriam: ??? (I don’t want to jump to conclusions just yet, but I’m going to say...maybe he was the one got left behind...?)

Strelitzia: Had friends, but they constantly left and kept being replaced. Based off of what Elrena says, it seems like she sorta isolated herself, so maybe was the one who left?

Also, Skuld and Strelitzia both seem to have friends who are alive, at least by canon confirmation. After all, Skuld talked about her Dandelion friends a few times, right before she left the Player in KH X. Meanwhile, Strelitzia says things about her friends during her introduction.

Anyways, if this is anything to go by Blaine could fall into one of these categories (the one who left or the one who was left), but it’s kinda difficult to tell since Ven throws things off. Either that, or nothing bad ever happened to his friends, so maybe he never had a lonely period in his life.

()()()

*puts up glasses* So what was all the background dump about? Well, honestly, I just wanted to ramble about Blaine, but *shoves that aside* we’re also here to discuss his innocence and why I think Blaine wouldn’t have the heart to kill Strelitzia:

(Er...skip this “point”, or at least just read what I highlighted in bold and move on. This isn’t even a point, I just got pissed off of the lack of evidence and love for my boy.) Blaine being “just plain old suspicious” is an excuse way too tired out for everyone’s sake. This is why I tried to fill in some gaps with the background details above as well to at least provide some insight into his actions/words. None of his character traits can be seen as evil exactly. Honestly, he portrays a type of kid that’s tired out and wants nothing more but to mind his own personal matters. The gaps I filled in seem like stretches, I understand that, but we all thought the same for Lauriam as well when he was first ushered on stage. Blaine’s been one of our main suspects for ages and his introduction was barely even brushed upon by the fandom when the story update launched. (On a personal note, I think I stumbled upon maybe 3 or 4 pieces of fanart of him on launch day??? I got interested in him to some extent, but my love for him that y’all see today, just came crashing down naturally over time) I saw more people bashing him, cuz “fucking damn it, it’s another dude, but he’s a cowboy” was all that stretched on for miles. Either that or “is that Ienzo cosplaying Ardyn???”. Those were dark times...very dark times indeed. *cough* Back on track, anyways Blaine’s been quite the unnoticed character compared to the other leaders (especially when compared to the other three that came after him), so why make him the killer when he never hit off for the JP and NA fanbase? Nomura heavily values his twists, especially with KHUX, so there’d be nothing of interest if the murderer was just a generic evil-looking cowboy that’s not even that popular with the fans in the first place. Blaine’s also a lot less developed than the other leaders, since he was unfortunately shoved to the side for the sake of filler right after he joined the cast. To a casual (yet devoted, based on how far they shoved aside filler hell) player, Blaine’s just a random kiddo that has no development, motives, and personality (unless you’re highly bored and decide to go on a analysis spree like I am right now). In all honesty, Nomura seems to be pushing us to believe Blaine did it, since he refuses to give Blaine the development he so desperately needs, to give him the ominous and sketchy vibes to make him an easy culprit.

I’m aware that the latest story update shows Blaine as a smart-ass, seeing how he was able to connect Strelitzia and “the person she’s interested in”’s supposed fate so easily. This puts the spotlight of suspicion on him, correct? Well, I’ve read my fair share of speculation posts for the past few days and everyone just naturally assumes it’s Gula that did the dirty work. I already posted an ask earlier on this topic and I’m not in the proper position to argue such a point all day, but I also don’t think Blaine could possibly be Gula either, or that Gula committed the murder himself. 

*plops onto chair* So while I clean off Blaine’s plate, I’ll clean off Gula’s too...so I realize that y’all naturally assume it’s him due to the rather convenient timing and his ominous quote after defeating him in battle. If you do believe in this theory, may I ask you: “Then why didn’t Gula attack Skuld and/or Player (evidence is provided below)? Also, how would you explain the sudden change in sprite?” If you pause right before Gula steps outta the shadows to fully reveal himself, we have his blacked-out silhouette, which heavily differs from ‘Darkness’ + the sprite we saw at the warehouse when Strelitzia was killed. I also doubt that Gula would change outta his robes at that exact moment, minutes before Strelitzia’s arrival (since we now have confirmation that their talk occurred before Strelitzia came along a little bit later), especially since we see him again in the same outfit at the war (when everyone’s getting prepared to fight). Lord Gula also questioned if they came inside the warehouse to search for Ava, since they’re skipping out on collecting Lux, clearly aware of the Dandelions. *cough*

Anyways, as I was saying about Blaine, I believe he’s genuinely trying to help Lauriam find Strelitzia. His morals stand that he despises lying with a whole passion, still holding up as he doesn’t seem to hesitate to speak his thoughts to the others, so I doubt he’d lie to cover up his tracks.

Though, on the other side, there’s one thing that’s holding me back to say he’s innocent completely:

To contradict myself, there was someone that pointed out that Blaine called the Foretellers’ Chambers, the Master’s room instead, having a similar tone to ‘Darkness’ calling the Master of the Masters, just ‘Master’. I dunno either...I just hope he’s innocent, but that’s just wistful thinking at this point.

In all honesty, I was going to go into full depth into how Blaine could be innocent, but the lack of information surrounding Blaine makes things a lot more difficult than it should be, and I kinda grew tired of trying to piece together things for hours. Maybe one day I’ll make a Part 2, but I just wanted to dish this out there, before KHUX updates and does the opposite of what I just said.

Feel free to add on, I’m just tired and rambling at this point!

[offscriptoverwatch]

Amiga Blanca, by taratron

Hola.

No, now you speak.  No, the bonds are tight, you’re going nowhere, chica.

Are you looking for your Omnic?  Big one, him.  But size doesn’t matter when a hack drops you to your knees.  Don’t worry, he’ll be fine and probably up looking for you soon.

Stop fighting!  Ai ai ai, it’s like you’ve never been tied up before.  

Now if you just listen for a moment.  I’m not going to hurt you, I’m not going to kill you, I just want a friend.

…..

Kiss your madre with that mouth?  Damn.

Here, we try this again.  I’m Sombra.  I’m going to be your new best friend in this whole wide world and we are going to help each other.

Because that is what friends do, si.

And in exchange, I’ll tell you where you can find someone very importante.  A certain one-armed gringo.

Joel.  I’ve heard him go by that name too, si.

Anyway, as a friend I would never ever tell him where you and your friends are going to hit next.  Or why.  What you looking for in the wide desert, hm?

No, chica, nothing’s ever really a secret.  No, no one in your pretty gang talked.  No one ever talked in mine.

Si, I was a good gang leader though.  Always kept my people happy, fed, you know.  And I know how to show respect, chica.  A little here will see you released alive and safe.  

No, no, your Omnic won’t find you by tracer.  That little button?  Bottom of a gorge.  It says bottomless pit, but you think anyone has ever really checked?

I don’t know, can your Omnic fly?

Back to the initial question, chica.  For such a rich woman you could afford manners.

How is this.  You just nod for yes, shake your pretty head for no, and we can get through this fast.  Then off you go, spoiled little rich girl, back to your spoiled little rich life.

Maybe I should keep you for ransom, hm?  Vialli thinks we can get a lot of money for your release.  

Of course if I tell him, lo siento, you died, your parents still ransom for a funeral?

Ai ai ai, I see someone has some issues to work on.  

You know, I feel for you, chica.  But that anger, vaya con Dios, gonna get you in trouble.

You know what I do when I’m angry, chica?  I sit down, have a nice glass of hot chocolate, maybe some tequila...and I look over the world.  Security systems.  You know, every single one says they are untraceable, unhackable.  Ha.  Job security.

That’s how I unwind.  You know, the presidente of Chile likes watching a lot of Omnic fights?  The underground ones in Russia.  And elsewhere.  Most of them are hacked, I can’t think any of them would like to do that for fun, but I’m not an Omnic.  Maybe they like tearing each other limb from limb?

I tell you, chica, you use that mouth again like that, and your Omnic with the cute hat, I take him to one of those fights.  Maybe he win, maybe he lose.  But you’ll watch.

I started when I was little, you know?  Always hungry, no money, but everyone has a computer, a wristfriend, a little slide-digit.  So fun to pick up one someone set down and wandered away.  Leave a little loophole in the system so I could peek back in.  So much information!  

Does that make you feel silly, chica?  You waste all this time with little things when you could have big things?

Ah, less competition that way.  You keep to big crates, I keep to the small codes.  Small codes lead to big crates, which is why you’re here, isn’t it?  

Unlike you, blanca, I have no familia now.  So sad.  Crisis took a lot of good people, and some bad people.  But somehow pretty little people like you and your parents always pull through.  Well, for now.

But I had a good gang.  I still do.  We have fun, chica, we don’t dress like old movie stars.  Lots of paint and glow in the dark and oh, it’s so fun!  I haven’t been home in a while but they do check in, chica.  They pay respect.  Something you still need to learn.

I have a new gang too.  Much larger than your cute little Deadlock group, chica.  Hundreds, thousands.  No paint though, imagine the bills for that!  Though Gabe would look cute in pink.

He hates when I call him Gabe.  Men, eh?  But Reaper, hah, it’s a cute name but you name a chihuahua that, a grown-ass man can’t be named after a perrito.

He does do a lot of the design work for our gang.  Ha, wouldn't surprise me if he does have some neon pink get-ups for us somewhere.  

A gang that size though, you need a lot of leaders for it.  We actually have a council, chica.  I sit on it.  I know, I don't look like the type to sit in on a board room.  I mean technically I guess I'm not on the board, but I do listen and everything they talked about.  Everywhere and in every base.  

You know the best part about it all chica?  Most gangs, you initiate into.  You got to, I don't know, pull off a heist by yourself, or knock over some policia, maybe bring everyone donuts?  With my old gang, the pink gang, the one that still pays respects, it was not easy to get into. I had very high standards.  But of course not everyone needed to be totally smart or useful, it's always a good idea to have a few idiots running around, thinking they're muy importante.  You got to have them, because it's always good to have some fall people.  

Same as my big gang now.  Aye, there's always all this talk about how we're going to change the world and make it a better place and all kinds of crazy stuff, and of course lots of money, and it's always fun to see people who think they're really important when really they are...how you say, expendable.

Your gang is like this?  I'm sure.  You always need a fall guy.

That was Joel was, hm?  I mean, I can look it up myself.  Looks to be a sore subject with you, blanca.

How do you initiate into Deadlock, hm?  Does any interested party have to fight one out with your Omnic?  Or perhaps pick a nice outfit from the 1900’s and if it clashes with yours, they out?

I don’t think I could get you into my gang, blanca.  Even if you were a good friend and not so rude.  You see, you have connections, si, but you have no respect.  You think you are better than you are, blanca.

You know how I got in?  Very easy, chica.  I mean, there are two stories.  Maybe more.  I spread a few myself, is always good to have multiple pasts.  One says I snooped around and got caught by Gabe himself.  Vaya con Dios, eh?  

Another said I was noticed by the ones in the council room because I pretended to be a maid.  A maid, blanca?  Like humans do that anymore. ��Aye ay ay.  

The best one is the truth.  I tapped in and took a little funds here and put them there a few times.  Put a few on the vidscreens.  And while everyone in the world was in an uproar about certain politicians funding certain organizations, and other organizations moving to other parts of the world, I added myself to the ranks.  Ah, nowhere high.  Near the middle.  So when they finally brought me on, blanca, I was on payroll for a few years.  Still am.

I draw two paychecks for every one they think they pay me.  You could do the same, chica.  But...I don’t think you have it in you.

I wanted us to be friends, blanca, I really did.  I make a lot of friends, friends in high places, like this.  But you, no, you don’t have friends.  You don’t want friends.  

So I let you go.  Well, when your Omnic finds you, you can go.  I’ll leave a tracer tracker here, bona sita.  

Is a pity though.  Be fun to have movie night with you and my other friend Katya and my favorite spider and maybe even Gabe.  Maybe Joel too.

Vaya con Dios, chica.  

By the way, you should put a bigger gun on your Omnic.  Something with a little kick.  Might save you trouble some day.

Adios.

[yasbxxgie]

The photograph is one of the standout images of the 1970s black liberation struggle. An African American man, his hair in dreadlocks, chest bare, stands with arms outstretched as though emulating Jesus on the cross. A white police officer is jabbing a shotgun at him with the muzzle inches from his throat. Another officer clasps a police helmet in his right hand as if preparing to whack him over the head with it.

Forty years almost to the day after that photo was taken, the same black man described how he came to be standing there on a sidewalk, half-naked and surrounded by angry police. His account was almost too graphic to grasp, sounding more like something out of a movie than the recollection of what really happened in the heart of one of America’s major cities.

It was 8 August 1978 and he had just emerged from the basement of the house in Philadelphia that his black revolutionary group, Move, used as a communal home. In an attempt to evict them from the property, hundreds of officers had just stormed the building, pummeling it with water cannons and gunfire, and in the maelstrom a police officer had been killed and several other first responders injured.

“As I emerged from the basement I had the presence of mind to let them see I was unarmed, so I took my shirt off,” the black man said. “That’s when I put my arms out wide.”

The black man is Delbert Orr Africa, Del for short. When I went to meet him he was wearing a burgundy one-piece with a white T-shirt and blue shoes. Everyone else around him was wearing the same uniform of Dallas maximum-security prison in Pennsylvania that he has worn every day since appearing in that photograph 40 years ago.

I had come to interview him as part of a two-year project in which I made contact with eight black liberationists who have all experienced long prison sentences. They each agreed to embark on an ongoing conversation with me about their political beliefs today and their battle to secure their own freedom.

Del Africa, 72, and I talked for three hours in the prison visitors’ room. He spoke rapidly and intensely, as though he needed to get it all out, relating how he had joined the Black Panther party in Chicago and then switched to the Move organisation after relocating to Philadelphia.

He also told me what happened the second after that photo was taken, as though he were narrating the next few frames of a news reel. As it turns out, that police officer really had been about to whack him.

“A cop hit me with his helmet,” he said. “Smashed my eye. Another cop swung his shotgun and broke my jaw. I went down, and after that I don’t remember anything ’til I came to and a dude was dragging me by my hair and cops started kicking me in the head.”

Del Africa is one of the Move 9, the group of five men and four women, all African American, who were arrested 40 years ago this August during the 1978 police siege of their headquarters in Powelton Village, Philadelphia. They were charged as a nine-person unit with the murder of the police officer who died in the melee, James Ramp. Each was sentenced to 30 years to life, though to this day they protest their innocence.

The ranks of the Move 9 have slowly been depleted over the years. Two have died in prison. In June, the first of the nine to win parole, Debbie Africa, was released from a Pennsylvania women’s prison.

As the 40th anniversary approaches, six of the Move 9 are still behind bars, Del Africa included. They are among a total of 19 black radicals who remain locked up in penitentiaries across America having been convicted of violent acts committed in the name of black power between the late 1960s and early 1980s.

Along with former Black Panthers and Black Liberation Army members, they amount to the unfinished business of the black liberation struggle. Many of them remain strikingly passionate about the cause, even as they strive for release in some cases half a century into their sentences.

In the case of Move members, their politics are a strange fusion of black power and flower power. The group that formed in the early 1970s melded the revolutionary ideology of the Black Panthers with the nature- and animal-loving communalism of 1960s hippies. You might characterise them as black liberationists-cum-eco warriors.

That sense of passion for the cause leaps out from the first email that Del Africa sent to me from Dallas in September 2016, after I’d contacted him asking to talk.

“ON THE MOVE! LONG LIVE FREEDOM’S STRUGGLE!” he proclaimed in capital letters at the top of the message. “Warm Revolutionary greetings, Ed!”

He then launched into a long deliberation about the “plight of political prisoners here in ameriKKKa!”. Move members are still imprisoned, he wrote, “just because we steadfastly refused to abandon our Belief in the Revolutionary Teachings of Move’s Founder” and because of “our refusal to bow down to this murderous, racist, sexist rotten-ass system”. He ended with the quip: “But, hey, I don’t wanna burn you out the first time I reply to your email.”

There was a similar robustness to the first response I received in December 2016 after reaching out to Janine Phillips Africa, one of the four women among the Move 9. Unlike Del Africa’s email, she wrote to me by hand, sending the letter by mail as she has continued to do over the ensuing 18 months.

“Me and my sisters are doing good, staying strong,” was the first sentence she wrote to me. That was remarkable in itself coming from a woman who is not only approaching the 40th anniversary of her incarceration but has had two of her children killed in confrontations with police.

“Everybody knows how strong Move men are. We’re showing the world how strong Move women are. That’s how it’s been since our arrest in 1978,” she said.

In the course of that first letter, Janine Africa, who was 22 when she was arrested and is now 62, took me deep into the “torture chamber”, the cruel solitary confinement wing where she spent the first three years of her sentence.

“There were no windows, just a section of the wall with frosted panes. You couldn’t tell when it was night or day, they kept the lights on 24/7. They were ordered to break us but it didn’t work – no matter what they did, they were not going to break us.”

Over the months, I came to learn about the double tragedy in Janine Africa’s life. In 1976, Philadelphia police officers turned up at the Move house in Powelton Village having been called out to a disturbance. Scuffling ensued between some Move residents and police. Janine was shoved and her baby, whom she had named Life, was knocked out of her arms to the ground. His skull appears to have been crushed, and he died later that day in her arms. He was three weeks old.

Then on 13 May 1985, seven years after Janine Africa was imprisoned, she received further terrible news. Philadelphia police had dropped a bomb from a helicopter onto a Move house on Osage Avenue in the west of Philadelphia in an attempt to force the black radicals to evacuate the premises after long-running battles with the authorities. The bomb ignited a fire in the Move house that turned into an inferno.

Janine’s 12-year-old son, Little Phil, was being cared for in that house by other Move adults while she was in custody. The then mayor of Philadelphia, Wilson Goode, notoriously gave the go-ahead for the bombing, and the fire that ensued was allowed to rage, the blaze spreading across the black neighborhood and razing 61 homes to the ground.

Little Phil and four other children burned to death. So too did six adults including Move’s founder, John Africa, AKA Vincent Leaphart.

I asked Janine Africa how she coped with losing two young sons during clashes with law enforcement. She was reticent. “I don’t like talking about the night Life was killed,” she wrote in April. “There are times when I think about Life and my son Phil, but I don’t keep those thoughts in my mind long because they hurt.”

In that same letter she said she had turned grief into what she contests is a force for good: deeper commitment to the struggle. “The murder of my children, my family, will always affect me, but not in a bad way. When I think about what this system has done to me and my family, it makes me even more committed to my belief,” she said.

Del Africa also heard bad news on 13 May 1985. His 13-year-old daughter Delisha was also living in the Move house. She too died in the fire. When I asked him how he dealt with being told his daughter had been killed in an inferno that had been ignited by the actions of the city authorities, he wasn’t as sanguine as Janine.

“I just cried,” he said during my prison visit. “I wanted to strike out. I wanted to wreak as much havoc as I could until they put me down. That anger, it brought such a feeling of helplessness. Like, dang! What to do now? Dark times …”

Mayor Goode made a formal apology for the disaster the following year. But a grand jury cleared all officials of criminal liability for the 1985 bombing that killed 11 people, including five children.

The only adult Move member to escape the inferno alive, Ramona Africa, was imprisoned for seven years.

All Move members take the last name “Africa” to denote their commitment to race equality and their strong bond to what they regard as their Move “family”. “A family of revolutionaries” is how Del Africa once described it to me. Unlike the Black Panther party which formally dissolved in 1982, Move is still a living entity.

“We exposed the crimes of government officials on every level,” Janine Africa wrote to me. “We demonstrated against puppy mills, zoos, circuses, any form of enslavement of animals. We demonstrated against Three Mile Island [nuclear power plant] and industrial pollution. We demonstrated against police brutality. And we did so uncompromisingly. Slavery never ended, it was just disguised.”

Deeply committed as they were to each other, the Move “family” undoubtedly had the ability to incense those around them. They liked to project their revolutionary message at high volume from a bullhorn at all hours of night and day. Passersby were accosted with a torrent of expletives.

Then there were the dogs. When the 1978 siege happened, there were 12 adults and 11 children in the Move house in Powelton Village – and 48 dogs. Most of the animals were strays taken in by the group as part of its philosophy of caring for the vulnerable. Black liberation, animal liberation – the two are as one with Move. John Africa was known as the “dog man”, as he was rarely seen without one.

The unconventional nature of the Move community which drove some neighbors to despair in turn led to demands for their eviction, and ultimately to the fatal siege. Over time relations grew more belligerent. Months before the siege Move members made visible their threat to resist attempts to remove them from the neighborhood – they stood on a platform they had built at the front of the house dressed in fatigues and brandishing rifles.

On its side, the city was led at that time by the Frank Rizzo, Goode’s predecessor as Philadelphia mayor, a former police commissioner who liked to talk tough and was fond of dog-whistle politics. He once said of the Move radicals: “You are dealing with criminals, barbarians, you are safer in the jungle!” Another Rizzo classic was: “Break their heads is right. They try to break yours, you break theirs first.”

When Move refused to vacate the premises having been issued with an eviction order, Rizzo said he would impose a blockade on the house so tight “even a fly wouldn’t get in”. He was not kidding. For 56 days before the siege, a ring of steel was erected around the house, no food was permitted into the compound and the water supply was cut off. Rizzo bragged he would “show them more firepower than they’ve ever seen”.

At about 6am on 8 August 1978 the action started. Move members were battered by water cannon as they took refuge in the basement of the building. Tear gas was propelled into the house. At 8.15am shots rang out and a thunderstorm of gunfire erupted that is captured on police footage of the incident. Police and fire officers are seen scattering in all directions as bullets whistle overhead seemingly in all directions. It looked like a war zone.

Soon after Move adults and naked children began emerging from the smoke-ridden basement. Janine Africa can be heard in the police footage screaming. Next, Del Africa appears, his hands outstretched in that Jesus pose. The camera pans in on him as he lies on the street after he was hit with the police helmet. Two police officers begin kicking him on his head which bounces between them like a ball. Three officers later faced disciplinary measures but a judge dismissed the charges.

Prosecutors accused the Move 9 of collaboratively killing Ramp, even though he died from one bullet. They said the shooting had been started when gunfire erupted from the basement where the Move members were gathered, a theory supported by some eyewitnesses.

Move’s attorney gathered other witness evidence suggesting the fatal shot had come from the opposite direction – in other words, it was accidental “friendly fire”. At trial no forensic evidence was presented that connected the Move 9 to the weapon that caused the fatality. For the women in particular the prosecution did not even argue the four had handled firearms or had been involved in the actual shooting of Ramp.

Del Africa insisted when I interviewed him that though Move had guns in the house, none of them were operative. “There was no shooting from our side,” he told me. “No one in the house had any gunshot residue, none of us had fingerprints on any of the weapons they claim came out of the house.”

The Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police has a plaque for Ramp on its memorial site. I reached out to the order many times in the course of a month to hear their reflection on his death and Move’s role in it, but they did not respond.

You can get a sense of the depth of feeling by reading the comments under Ramp’s page on the Philadelphia Officer Down Memorial website. Several commentators, some of whom vividly recalled the 1978 siege, sent blessings to the deceased police officer and his family.

Others expressed anger at the lack of justice for Ramp, though they didn’t specify what they meant. One woman, whose late husband was on duty at both the siege and the 1985 bombing, was more direct. She said of Ramp: “I was so sad to hear of your passing. I felt, and still do feel so badly for your family. Move were scum and cowards, hiding as they shot. You were SO brave. Never forgotten. RIP.”

As they approach the 40th anniversary of the siege and of their subsequent captivity, Del and Janine Africa described to me how they’ve coped for so long doing time for a crime they insist they did not commit. They each have their own survival methods.

Janine Africa told me she avoids thinking about time itself. Birthdays, holidays, the new year mean nothing to her. “The years are not my focus, I keep my mind on my health and the things I need to do day by day.”

Del Africa thinks of the eons behind bars not as “prison time” but as “revolutionary prison activity”. “I keep saying to myself: ‘I will not fall apart. I will not give in.’”

They’ve both experienced long stretches in solitary confinement, a brand of punishment that the UN has decried as a form of torture. In 1983, Del Africa was put into the “hole” – an isolation cell – because he refused to have his dreadlocks cut.

He stayed in the hole for six years. He relieved the stress and boredom by organizing black history quizzes for other inmates held in the isolation wing. Russell Shoaltz, a former Black Panther, helped him devise the questions, and shout them out down the line of solitary cells. Questions such as: when was the Brown v Board of Education ruling in the US supreme court? What year was the Black Panther party founded? Who was Dred Scott? For what is John Brown remembered?

Eventually Del Africa won the right to keep his dreads. When I visited him in Dallas there they hung, salt-and-peppered now, proudly down to his hips.

Throughout, the Move prisoners have drawn strength from companionship with other members of the nine. Janine shared a cell with two other surviving Move women – Debbie Africa and Janet Holloway Africa – in Cambridge Springs women’s prison in Pennsylvania. They called each other “sisters” and did everything together. “We read, we play cards, we watch TV. We laugh a lot together, we’re sisters through and through,” she wrote in a letter in February.

There was one other member of their gang: fittingly given the history of the organization, a dog called Chevy. The prison authorities let them keep the dog kenneled in their cell as part of a program in which they train the animal for later use as a service dogs for disabled people.

Life went on like this for years, and had acquired its own normality, almost a certain tranquility. Until last month when Debbie Africa was granted parole and set free. Her departure came as a jolt.

“It’s strange not having Deb here,” Janine said. “I keep expecting her to walk in from work. They snuck her out at 5.[:]00 in the morning. We only got to hug her briefly and watch her leave. Chevy misses her, he keeps sniffing her bed.”

In June, Janine and Janet Africa also went before the same parole board as Debbie and made essentially the same case that they had earned their freedom. The board asked Janine whether she would be a risk to the public were she to be let out, and she referred them to her pristine prison record: the last time she had any disciplinary rap was 26 years ago. “The way I’m in here is the way I’ll be outside, there is no risk factor,” she told them.

While Debbie was set free, both Janine and Janet had their parole denied. The board said they showed “lack of remorse” for the death of Ramp in the 1978 siege.

Janine Africa wrote to me a few days after she learnt of the denial, speculating that games were being played with her mind. The contrast of Debbie’s release with her denial was “either to make us resent Deb or make me feel hopeless and break us down. Whatever their tactic, it isn’t working!”

Debbie’s release also made a profound impact on Del Africa. “I feel overjoyed that Debbie is out,” he wrote to me. “Her release is a breakthrough! I see it finally opening the door a crack.”

Del Africa also hasn’t had a misconduct report in prison for more than 20 years. Yet he too was turned down for parole last year and must wait another four years before his next chance to convince the parole board that he can safely be returned to society.

Like many of the 19 black liberationists still behind bars, Del Africa is caught in a trap attached to the crime for which he was convicted. He knows he will only be paroled if he expresses heartfelt remorse. But says he cannot do that.

“How can I have any remorse for something I never did?” he said. “I had nothing to do with killing a cop in 1978. Have they shown any remorse for what happened to my daughter in 1985?”

Would he show remorse to the parole board if he felt it would secure his release?

“No, never going to do that,” he said. “That would be akin to making them right. They are the ones who were wrong.” [x]

Photograph:

The arrest of Delbert Africa of Move on 8 August 1978

Debbie Africa was released in June after 40 years in prison

Members of Move gather in front of their house. They were arrested 40 years ago during a police siege.

Janine Africa preaching to the crowd in front of the barricaded Move house in the Powelton Village section of Philadelphia

Move members hold sawed-off shotguns and automatic weapons as they stand in front of their barricaded headquarters

Debbie Africa and her son, Mike Africa, whom she gave birth to in her prison cell a month into her incarceration. She was released last June.

[agl03]

Hello! I just want to know what are your thoughts about the hypable article?

Anonymous said: In the hypable article, the bonus hint was “raise a glass” … are we going to have to endure another Spy’s Goodbye? And if so, who do you see leaving?

Sigh, last one of these for while….

Time is running out to save the world from Graviton (and Coulson from himself) in the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 5 finale. Will it be “The End” for our beloved agents?

Look at your choices

The painful tug-of-war between destiny and decision has been a running theme in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 5, but this idea just about explodes in the season finale. The episode, titled “The End,” has no more time to play with theory: It’s decision time for all of our agents, and the fallout is acutely consequential.

With Coulson’s life quite literally on the line, emotions are at their most painfully raw, and the team’s clashing calculations lead to some dramatic developments. Coulson himself is — finally! — back in the position of decision-maker, even as the team struggles to make decisions for him. Mack too becomes a critical actor in this regard, as does Daisy.

“The End” serves as a crucial development in Daisy’s series-long arc. Faced with a series of choices that will define the fate of the world, Daisy also confronts her own essential identity, and makes a call that will dramatically impact any stories to come.

The happy thoughts that the team would come together as a united front going into the final battle is now pretty much out of the question.   Everyone is going to have their own take on how to proceed.  Be looking at the problem from different angles.  Come to different conclusions.  And have different ‘acceptable’ outcomes.   Just like they have had all season.  

Look for some decisions and consequences within the team to happen early, even before the final battle begins.  

Coulson is FINALLY back in a position to make decisions.  One of the most important could be is if he wants to take the cure or not.   How long does he want to keep fighting and what is his take on all the information that is on the table.  

I am looking for him to make a move, on his own, regarding the cure while the others are having a ‘passionate discussion’ as to how to proceed.  

Mack and Daisy have both been pretty vocal on where they stand on things and on the actions of others.   And I think here will be no exception.  They know the end result they want and how it should happen.  

Watch especially for the Mack/Fitz and Daisy/Elena stuff to come to a head…and possibly not be repaired by the end.  

It��s been all building to this for Daisy.   Jeff has said in interviews that Daisy has a huge episode here.   She is the one who has to either talk or take Talbot down, without destroying the World.   What she does, how she reacts/treats the others on the team will most definitely impact where they all fall as the season closes out.  

Stay close

Fraught and angry though parts of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 5 finale may be, the episode also reinforces the profound bonds that have kept Team Coulson together through thick and thin. When the gravitonium hits the fan, S.H.I.E.L.D. almost can’t help but go into recovery mode. Whatever cruel words or painful strikes have come between them before, “The End” highlights just how enduring — and indeed, how selfless — the connection between these people truly is.

Said “passionate discussions” not only from earlier in the episode but from the season are gonna hurt both the characters and us.

However, when it all starts to really hit the fan (more than it already has) they will at least come together.  IE Daisy might be mad at and disagree with Elena but she isn’t going to let her get hurt of die if she can help it.  

They have to work together in order to win and in the end they are a family.  That family connection will be running strong throughout.  

Sacrifice play(s)

The question of sacrifice, of the value of the lives of yourself and of others, was a pressing issue in Avengers: Infinity War. It is this, more than any other connection, that truly links “The End” to that film. Preserving the once-clear line between evil and good is a vital challenge for everyone, but characters like Mack, Fitz, Daisy, and Elena struggle particularly with this weighty subject.

Oh yeah! GraviTalbot thinks about it a time or two as well.

With the fate of the world at stake from every angle, look for echoes of the debates waged by the Avengers as they contemplated Thanos. (And Thanos’ own debates, for that matter.) When catastrophe looms, what kind of losses should be justified, or rejected, or even embraced? What can you give of yourself at the literal point of no return? And what price might be exacted, that you hadn’t even known you were going to pay?

(Look, it’s the season finale people! Things get heavy.)

Can I take a HARD pass on anyone sacrificing themselves?

The team has grappled with this all season the life of few/one vs the lives of many.   And most of them have all been put in a position at some point where it was a horrible choice.   The person they loved the most vs helping the baddies.   Hurting one to save many.  

Mack its his principles:  Killing is not a solution and whatever they do has to be the fight choice.  

Fitz has made the call a few times now, is dealing with his guilt, and where he proceeds from here.  I am curious to see where he is.  Whatever solution Fitz/Fitzsimmons come up with will be met with objection, criticism, or judgement from someone on the team

Daisy has said multiple times that for her there is no question, they are going to save Coulson no matter the cost.  But now she knows the cost coupled with Coulson expressing his own wishes.

Elena has what her future self told her and what she saw.  Knowing that if they do what Daisy wants that it is supposed to be what destroys the world.

Talbot is in full on Super Villain who sees himself as a hero mode.  He thinks what he is doing is going to save the world, even if some people are hurt or killed in the process.   He will justify all of his actions…good and bad that he’s doing this all to save the world.  Look for his God Complex to grow worse….I just hope the are able to get through to him before the end.  

Really cool VFX

There are some damn cool VFX shots in “The End.” Shoutout to you, Mark Kolpack!

Ending and mending

The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 5 finale may be titled “The End,” but we’re only saying goodbye for a little more than a year, when the show returns for 13 episodes next summer. (I know, it’s a long wait, but it’s better than nothing!)

But the season finale is prepped and ready to be a farewell tour for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., which means that there are a couple of things to look out for. The poignant nostalgia for days past, a proud herald back to the S.H.I.E.L.D. that once was — that’s all to be expected. Sweet moments of (occasionally romantic) resolution and sad farewells — yes, “The End” has those too.

But while the end of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 5 finale contains within it much resolution, it is not, as such, a hard conclusion. That means that there will be plenty to animate the fan imagination over the long hiatus before season 6, as… let’s call them possibilities… flourish in the wake of significant events.

We will be reminded, more than once of where we came from, with fun call backs to past seasons.   

For the proud herald look for one heck of a scene with the Shield theme blaring in the background (Bear is gonna end us too).  

Sweet moments of resolution will be fences, at least starting, to get mended.  

Shipper moments for all the Ships, its Jed and Mo…I’m expecting a pretty decent Fitzsimmons something and a final resolution with Philinda one way or another.   Mackelena….I’m not sure, I can see it ending with them going separate ways if they both survive.  

Farewells don’t have to mean death.   I do think there will be some of those but I am once again leaning back to at least some of the team leave Shield in the end and us as fans would have had proper closer should this had been the end.  

Whedon: I mean, we can’t really say without spoiling it, but I will say that I think we are happy with how the season has been tied up and that there’s good rewards for people who have been with us the whole season and for people who have been with us the whole run. Obviously, there’s a little bit of something for everybody.

There is just enough teases in there…perhaps a bit of a cliffhanger….as to what will be in store for Season 6.  A hint at the baddies, where the team will start from, or if there is some sort of crazy time and location jump again.  AKA there is enough to kill my ask box

Bonus hint: Raise a glass.

There are not many things I can’t take again and Spy’s Goodbye is one of them.  I have not cried THAT HARD at a TV show in a long time.  Also reminds me of Radcliffe’s send off, which was pretty epic in its own right.

As always remember these bonus hints are often something small.  Last weeks teased the team’s decision, the week before Papa Kasius.  So here is my list.

The team splits up to some degree and hello Spy’s Goodbye Round 2 and I’ll be a sobbing mess.

Toasting the fallen, perhaps Talbot because I don’t see him making it out, as well as those we’ve lost over the last 5 seasons.

Toasting the end of Shield as we know it…again.

Toasting a new beginning.

Philinda bust out the Haig…again…for reals this time.

Potential Season 6 Baddie

[imagine-loki]

The Shadow Of Your Heart

TITLE: The Shadow Of Your Heart

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 4

AUTHOR: FadingCoast

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you are Sigyn who saves Loki from torture.

RATING: Mature.

NOTES/WARNINGS: Sexual innuendos (no explicit sex) / blood / violence / torture.

Loki and Sigyn have known eachother since childhood. Tired of waiting, she gets engaged to another man, but Loki won’t accept it, and tricks Sigyn into marrying him instead. Will they get through married life, children and Ragnarok?

Chapter notes: Lots of fluff.

Recommended song: Between Two Lungs - Florence and the Machine

Also on Ao3

.-

Ch. 4: The breath that passed from you to me

Life at the palace was easy to get used to, easy to get bored of as well.

Everyone revelled in either fighting or feasting. Most of the time, both.

The feasting she could deal with, but Sigyn didn’t particularly enjoy the combat training. She wasn’t physically strong, though she made up for that in agility and speed. She also realized that ballet classes were more useful to her than lifting weights. And, the best part: due to her magic, she was always two steps ahead of her opponent: she would know exactly what their next move would be.

Of course, this ability of hers wasn’t common knowledge. So when Loki set her up to fight Sif (and place a huge bet in her favor) Sigyn knew where this was coming from.

“It will be fun!” He had said. And he was right.

Sigyn remembered how Sif, Thor, Volstagg and Fandral would make fun of Loki when they were in their pre-teens. She remembered how they would belittle him for preferring to read and work on his magic instead of clashing with makeshift weapons. She remembered how he was always confronted with the fact that he wasn’t Thor. It took Loki years to feel comfortable enough in his own skin to fight back with what he knew. His magic was his weapon: shape shifting, astral projection, illusions, deceit, and that bit of mind reading he still struggled with.

The “warrior kids” didn’t like it, in their eyes that was cheating.

It would be fun to turn the tables for a bit.

Word of the unlikely match spread out, Sigyn suspected that Loki had something to do with it. When the day arrived, the training arena was full.

I am going to kill you.

Loki smiled, his wife staring at him from the floor.

Kill Sif first, if you please.

I think that’s a little extreme. But I will try and humiliate her for your amusement. Granted she doesn’t break my back first.

Have I mentioned that I love you?

Not this week, so thank you.

Sif entered the training pit, full in armor and was greeted by the roaring applause of all her soldiers. With a smug smirk on her face, Sif stared at Sigyn.

“Are you sure you wanna do this, little one?” Sif taunted. She looked all powerful: a true goddess with her golden plate armor, spear in one hand, shield in the other.

“Well, we’re already here.” Sigyn shrugged. Her leather vest paled in comparison, her daggers looked small and frail in her hands. But she knew she didn’t need much. She just wanted to make Sif angry, and that was easy.

Sif measured Sigyn’s stance again, and charged. Of course, Sigyn could see what was coming before it came, so she dodged Sif’s attack with ease.

Sif charged again, and again Sigyn evaded her.

“Are you just going to run around that whole time?” Sif was getting exasperated, how could Sigyn be that fast?

Sigyn rolled the daggers in her hands. “Stop trying to hit me and hit me, then.” She said with a smirk.

Sif realized that Sigyn had cornered herself on one end of the pit. She thought it was weird, but at least she wouldn’t have room to dodge her again. She attacked, spear stretched out front, ready to impale Sigyn.

Sif could see the smirk on Sigyn’s face right before she jumped and landed on Sif’s spear. With perfect balance, Sigyn took another jump and landed behind Sif, taking time to kick the back of her knee. Sif stumbled. With a cry, Sif turned around waving her spear, trying to surprise Sigyn, but she simply bent down on her back and the spear wheezed over her head. Sif’s shield, however, she couldn’t manage to avoid, and took a blow on her arm that sent her rolling on the floor. The crowd cheered.

“Congrats, you finally hit me.” Sigyn said, gaining her footing again.

Auch! That’s going to hurt later.

Shut up, Loki.

Sif wasn’t giving Sigyn any time to recover, and charged again. Sigyn rolled under Sif’s shield, this time taking revenge for being struck: as she rolled, she put one of her daggers to Sif’s thigh, letting slide deep enough to draw blood, but not permanent damage.

Sif shouted. “You bitch!” Sigyn just smirked.

Winded and furious, Sif dropped her shield. If Sigyn was that fast, she’d have to be faster.

The sparring got even more aggressive. Sigyn knew the only thing protecting her from being skewered by Sif was her ability to see what she would do beforehand. Sif was stronger, more trained and right now she was seething.

With 3 powerful blows, Sif was towering Sigyn, spear mere inches from Sigyn’s face, only stopped by her daggers.

“You cannot overpower me.” Sif said, pressing the spear harder.

“I’m not trying to.” Sigyn taunted. It was time to actually use her magic. Sif only saw the golden glow in Sigyn’s eyes.

In a flash, Sigyn was out of Sif’s weight. Sif fell forward, her attempt to gain balance was stopped by one of Sigyn’s daggers on her ankle. Sif lost it and collapsed hard on the floor, her spear clattering far from her reach. Another flash and Sigyn straddling her back, knees on each shoulder, pinning her to the ground, dagger posed to her neck.

“Yield.” Sigyn demanded.

The audience went absolutely silent. Sif knew she could easily get up, but Sigyn would still be attached to her back and she would still have a dagger on her neck.

“You cheated.” Sif spat. “Magic is the cheater’s way.”

“You have your tricks. I have mine. If you expect everyone to always play by your rules, you’ll always lose.” Sigyn pulled a handful of Sif’s hair and pressed the dagger deeper in her neck. “Yield.”

“YOU CHEATED!” Sif said, sputtering all kind of curses.

“Sif, please…” Sigyn mused. “You didn’t lose because I cheated, you lost because you’re too predictable. I’m not nearly as strong, or trained, or disciplined as you, yet here we are. Now yield, so I can get a bath.”

Sif’s pride was shattered. “Fine.” She muttered. “I yield.”

Sigyn let go of Sif’s hair and stood up. “Make a lesson out of this. Don’t underestimate your opponent, don’t expect them to fight by your rules and be ready to improvise.” Sigyn offered her hand to Sif, but she slapped it away and stood up by herself. “You’re a great warrior, Sif. You’ll become General of the Asgardian Army one day. Don’t let your pride get in the way.”

Sigyn dismissed her daggers with magic and limped out the silent arena.

I love you even more now.

Shut up, Loki. You owe me a big one.

Anything you want, darling.

Right now I’d like a bath.

.-

After that, life became a little more interesting in the palace. Sigyn now had to accommodate a few training sessions with Sif (who surprisingly had gotten over her pride and “agreed” to train with Sigyn), between ballet classes, sorcery and healer training.

The bond she shared with Loki became even more useful, as he was being dragged everywhere by Thor. Apparently after Sigyn’s fight with Sif, Thor thought of a use for Loki’s powers, not only to train with him, but to take him into raids whenever necessary.

Loki would say he hated it, but Sigyn knew better.

I hate this

Liar

Okay, I don’t dislike it that much.

Face it, you’re thrilled that they might see you as one of the team.

Still, I can think of better things I could be doing instead of hanging out with these muscle-heads.

Me too, but I’m busy.

Loki smirked to himself. By the way, can I borrow the foresight? I’m afraid Thor is leading us right into a trap.

From sharing tricks to having conversations, each other’s presence in their heads became natural. Sigyn even learned to partially block Loki when he was getting annoying or she needed concentration.

They also discovered that the bond worked marvels when they were asleep, and that it activated whenever one of them was feeling a strong emotion, like rage or fear.

Even their seidr had mixed colors.

Loki’s seidr had been green for as long as he could remember, while Sigyn’s was golden. Now whenever either of them casted a spell, it would have flashes of green and gold.

Frigga thought it was beautiful.

.-

Loki was reading in the library, grateful for the day of peace his brother’s hangover had allowed him. He had missed to spend his mornings there, devouring books instead of getting demolished by Thor. There was a limit to how much his muscles could take.

“Loki.” Sif said, interrupting his reading. “Have you seen Sigyn? We were supposed to train this morning.”

“I haven’t seen her since she left at breakfast.” Loki looked up from his book and immediately tried to reach Sigyn, with no luck. “I assumed she was with you.”

“Well, she didn’t show up. She hasn’t been feeling right these last few days.”

This was news to Loki. Sif kept talking, but he was busy trying to contact Sigyn.

Sigyn?

In a minute, love.

Where are you? Are you alright?

There was no answer, and Loki started to panic a little. “Maybe she’s with Eir? She has been taking into healing. Maybe she just got her days mixed up.” Loki offered. “Or she thought none of you would be in a fit state to train after the feast last night.”

Sif huffed. “I am NOT those oafs.” Loki smirked and opened his mouth to remind Sif of one of the many times she was one of those oafs. “Don’t say it.” Sif cut him up. “Just tell her to reach me.”

“Will do.” Loki waited for Sif to leave the library before he scrambled for the door and sprinted down to the Healing Room. He was half way there when Sigyn stopped blocking him.

Sigyn, where are you?

Our chambers.

Is everything okay?

Silence again. Loki ran to their chambers and found the door half open. Sigyn was standing by the balcony.

“I have a surprise for you.” Sigyn turned and smiled to Loki.

“After freaking me out?” He huffed. “Why didn’t you tell me you were not feeling well?”

Sigyn smiled again and reached for his hand. “I just wanted to be sure.”

“Sure of what?” While they spoke, Sigyn took Loki’s hand and pulled him close. “Stop blocking me, it’s annoying.”

“Fine.” Sigyn said, and placed Loki’s hand on his lower abdomen. “Look for yourself.”

Loki gasped audibly. “Are you–? Is it–? Wait a second… Twins?”

Sigyn nodded, a big grin spreading on her face as Loki took her in his arms and spun around.

“That’s why you’ve been feeling ill?” Loki said, putting Sigyn back on the floor.

“They are your kids, of course they’ve been misbehaving.” Sigyn said as Loki pushed a string of hair behind her ear. He had never been so overcome with happiness. He couldn’t even articulate the words, so he took Sigyn’s hand and linked their fingers together letting her read him.

Sigyn buried her head in Loki’s chest, arms around his waist.

“You’ll have to tell Sif you cannot longer train with her.” Loki said, returning the hug.

“You’ll have to tell your mother.” Sigyn said. “That’s going to be something.”

“For the norns, she’s gonna flip out, isn’t she?”

“And come up with some kind of announcement ball or something.” Both giggled. Sigyn took a deep breath, drinking in Loki’s silence. “What are you afraid of?” She asked, looking up to Loki’s face.

“Huh, you picked that up.”

“Whatever relationship you have with your father, just know that you are not him.” Sigyn said, cupping Loki’s face in her hands and staring right at him.

“I’ll try not to. I promise.” He said, leaning into Sigyn’s hands and kissing her palm. “I love you. All three of you.”

“We love you too.”

.-

[bastardnev]

Not So Different

part 3!! the next one is the final one 👀👀👀

tagging @champnatalya and @gulakattack!!

(link to ao3)

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mustafa Ali/Pac | Adrian Neville Characters: Mustafa Ali, Pac | Adrian Neville Additional Tags: Jealousy, and much to nev's utter horror, Bonding Series: Part 3 of The King and the Prince Summary: Neville and Mustafa discover that they have something in common: they're both going to miss Austin Aries.

For awhile, it seemed like Neville was on top of the world. Things had been going swimmingly for him over the last few weeks -- he had just recently retained over Tozawa at Great Balls of Fire and once again proved how much of a dominant champion he was. Sure, the way he'd won had been a bit... unsavory, but it got the job done. He was still the King. That was what mattered in the end, wasn't it?

And when he showed up to San Antonio for the 205 Live taping, his head was held high, even though he wasn't scheduled to compete that evening. Normally he would have complained, storming over to whoever put the night's card together and demanding that the show's resident monarch be featured in some capacity, but he refrained from doing so this time. He had been in too much of a good mood since Sunday to complain and decided to make the most of the situation -- if he was going to be spending the next few hours backstage, maybe he could set aside some time to mess with him...

Neville's plans were slowly crushed, however, when he arrived to the locker room only to find that the one person that he wanted to speak with was not there. His grip on his bag tightened as the memories of what had happened a few days ago returned to him.

That's right... He thought with a sigh, haphazardly tossing his bag down on a bench and plopping down next to it. Aries is... gone.

He remembered how just a few days before the pay-per-view, Austin had been officially released. He wasn't entirely sure what had happened or why Austin felt the need to leave all of a sudden, but if he knew Aries as well as he thought he did then there must be a reasonable explanation. This appeared to be a spur of the moment thing, but Austin was meticulous, never doing anything just for the hell of it.

Neville's relationship with Austin had been... strange, to say the least, ever since he had beaten him for the third time at Extreme Rules. The two of them were at each others' throats in the months prior, Austin's wit clashing with Neville's rage on a weekly basis.

After their submission match however, and after Tozawa landed himself in the Cruiserweight title picture, things had changed. Neville still didn't like him, as made evident by their interactions (he was still angry about Austin's little antics from the cruiserweight bar outing from a few weeks ago...) but his hatred had definitely cooled a bit. If he was being honest, Neville actually found himself looking forward to their weekly bickering. Not having Austin around anymore meant that Neville needed to find someone new to focus all of his attention on.

He looked up towards the door when he heard it open, his eyebrows raising when he saw that Mustafa was the one who entered, because of course it fucking was. This isn't exactly who I had in mind for who I wanted to focus on...

Neville had been so caught up with Tozawa in the last few weeks that he hadn't even had time to worry about Mustafa and whatever the fuck was going on between them. Now that they were alone together, however, it was all that he could think of. That period where Neville wasn't constantly doubting himself was lovely while it lasted.

He kept his gaze focused on the floor, not looking up until he was sure that Mustafa had passed him. He found himself relieved (and oddly offended) that he hadn't been greeted, but he let it go. He wasn't in any mood to start up a conversation.

"You seem a little out of sorts today, King." And of course, like clockwork, just as Neville was thinking that he didn't want to talk, Mustafa opens his mouth and speaks. "Trouble in the kingdom?"

"Hush," Neville replied curtly, avoiding eye contact as Mustafa turned to face him.

"'Hush'?" He repeated. "Not 'shut up'? Okay, something's really messing with you." He chuckled.

"I don't believe it's any of your concern now, is it?" Neville fired back. "Leave me alone."

"Alright, alright." Mustafa turned his attention towards his bag, unzipping it and digging around for something. Neville wasn't sure what, though -- he wasn't scheduled to compete either. Whatever his reasons, Neville didn't care enough to ask.

Then he caught sight of a familiar shade of bright blue coming from inside the bag. Neville's eyes widened once he realized what he was looking at. Mustafa had brought an Aries shirt with him on the road.

"Why do you have that?" Neville asked, quickly standing up from the bench and marching over.

"Have what?"

"This." Neville grabbed the shirt out of the bag, holding it up. He noticed that it had the sleeves cut off. "Why is this in your bag?"

"Austin gave it to me last week."

"He... gave it to you? And you kept it?" Neville bit down on his lower lip, glaring at him. Why did... Why did he keep it? How important is Aries to him? What does he see in him? What does Aries have that I... Neville's thoughts trailed off.

"Of course I did. I've been wearing it to the gym. But, uh..." Mustafa slowly took it back. "Why do you care so much about it?"

Neville sighed and shook his head.  "Just forget it, Ali." He started to walk away only to be grabbed by the arm. He shook free of Mustafa's grip. "What do you want?"

"Is that why you're so off today?" He asked. "Because of Austin?"

"No!" That was a lie. "I don't give a shit about what he does." Another lie.

"Then why does the fact that I own one of his shirts bother you so much?"

"I--" Neville's words got caught in his throat. How the hell does he even go about talking about the shit going on in his head? "I really don't care that you have it. I just found it to be... weird. I can't see why he would want to give one of his shirts to a peasant like you." And I can't see why you would choose him...

Mustafa's brow furrowed, as if something that Neville said confused him. There was a look in his eyes that asked 'are you seriously still acting like this?'. Neville hated it. "Quit looking at me like that, would you? You're freaking me out."

"Sorry," he apologized. Silence fell in the room for a moment before Mustafa asked, "... Austin was important to you, wasn't he?"

"What? Absolutely not. I couldn't stand him." Neville frowned, crossing his arms. "It was like he lived to spite me. He managed to figure out exactly what he needed to say to get me mad and exploited that knowledge whenever he could." Even when I'm drunk... "Good riddance."

"I see." Mustafa pressed his lips together into a line. "Well, you might not care about him, but I do. I'm personally gonna miss him."

"Aww, well isn't that sweet. You're gonna miss your little boyfriend..." Neville's fists clenched once he reached the end of his sentence.

"Boyfriend?" He grinned. "King, no. Our relationship isn't like that."

"...Ah," Neville replied, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Thank Christ. "Well, either way, I still don't care."

"You know you're gonna miss him, too. I think you already do."

Neville took in a breath through his nose, staring up at the ceiling for a second before looking back at him. "I'll admit that it's certainly unusual not having The Greatest Douche That Ever Lived constantly up my ass, but I'll get over it soon enough."

"You two were always fighting whenever I saw you. Austin is the only other guy around here that was willing to give you a good fight whenever you wanted one. I bet you're gonna miss that."

"It'll take some getting used to, yes, but I'll find someone else to bicker with. There's plenty of guys here that I can hurl insults at."

"...Hey, can I tell you something real quick? You have to promise me you won't tell Austin."

"You know damn well that I'm going to do whatever it takes to avoid that man for the rest of my life."

"That's a good point... The truth is, I think that you were the real winner of some of your arguments."

"Oh?" Neville raised an eyebrow.

"You had some really clever comebacks. I'm jealous that you're able to come up with them so easily. You'll have to teach me how you do it sometime."

"The Prince wants the King to take him under his wing, eh?" Neville smirked, trying to ignore how hard his heart was pounding at the thought. His expression grew neutral again. "No."

"Well, I can't say I was expecting a different answer." Mustafa's phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out, reading the text he was just sent. "I gotta go meet up with Swann in catering."

"Is he gonna share one of his pathetic match strategies with you?" Neville remembered reading that Rich was set to have a match against a local competitor later on that evening. God only knows what nonsense he was planning this time.

"Probably. You, uh... You can come hang with us, if you want."

"You're inviting me along?" He swallowed.

"Yeah. I'm sure Rich won't mind."

"Well, I'd rather dive headfirst into an active volcano than hang out with the likes of you two."

"There's another one of those comebacks that I love. Keep it up." Mustafa patted Neville on the arm before heading towards the exit. He stopped right as he reached the door, turning to look back at Neville. "Hey, I think this is the first time that you and I have actually talked without fighting."

"Is it? Well, I wouldn't get used to it if I were you, Ali."

"I won't. But..." He grinned. "You're really nice to talk to when you're not angry." With that, he opened the door to leave.

The moment that the door closed, Neville let out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding, and he slumped down on a bench. Okay, what the fuck was that? Had that really just happened? Did they actually have a casual conversation as if-- as if they were friends? And did Neville really enjoy it?

And what was that towards the end? Mustafa used the word 'love' to describe how he felt about one of Neville's little quirks. He loved his retorts. Love.

This isn't good. Neville ran a hand through his hair, messing it up. This is bad. This is so, so fucking bad. He shouldn't be enjoying Mustafa's company this much. He shouldn't be getting so excited at the prospect of the two of them hanging out more. This wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to feel this way, especially not towards him.

He wasn't supposed to like him.