#they don't automatically see 'yes and this will be made inclusive of us'

[elalmadelmar]

Ok so something I keep seeing happen with various lefty topics on tumblr is people tossing around a buzzword or slogan term in the belief that the only people who are gonna see their post are already deeply plugged into whatever the discussion is and understand all the bigger concepts that stand behind it, then being SHOCKED!! and DISMAYED!!! when people who aren't part of the discussion see their posts (here on the 'passing posts wildly around' site) and aren't aware of the whole discussion that goes on behind it.

Like, my friends, the world is not divided into two camps "people who understand this term and agree with me" and "people who understand this term and disagree with me."

For any topic of activism, the largest group by far is gonna be "people who don't know much about this topic and don't have the time/energy/available emotional energy to deeply engage with it."

If you don't wanna direct any education to those people, fine - but don't come off surprised if they wind up seeing your post anyway and don't instantly either run out and do hours of research or psychically understand all the details of your cause.

[oliveuku]

After a lot of research on Twitter (my head hurts let me tell you) I have info on the Scott drama The person who came out about Scott calling them childish and immature. When they were 12, being childish and immature, said they aren't calling Scott a groomer. People decided that, even though it wasn't grooming. That it was grooming and now are using that against him, gotta love twitter A lot of events happened in 2015-2016. But he responded to some people saying they need to get the bigots out of mcc in an immature fashion. Which he apologized for, but I do agree they need to be gone

Some people are taking it out only on Scott, but he doesn't own MCC. MCC is getting backlash for collabing with Youtooz which is known to be a bad company, again it's not on Scott for that choice People are being homophobic to him now, which its pretty obvious they are going after him for being gay More on the MCC thing, they held it on a big Jewish holiday. While not Jewish myself, a lot did say it was disrespectful for them to hold it. But again Scott isn't the owner of MCC, he might have a say, but we don't know how it works behind the scenes From what I seen on the racism front. Scott said "tacos are Mexican" in 2015-2016. In that time frame, he could easily have changed and grown. I seen no other examples, but there could be more. While they also mentioned and showed, Oli had made some songs at the same time that were. Not great, one mentioning Screw the Africans. But again, he could have changed in that time I didn't see anything else mentioning that either have been racist since then People are bringing up the lack of POC and women creators in MCC as well. Another, we don't know what goes on behind the scenes, and if people are actually being invited and declining or asking to join and not getting in that are POC or women. Since not all creators want to play MCC or be competitive If that is true, then yah it's going to be gross of Scott and Noxcrew's front. But it's speculation and until they share who actually signs up/wants in we won't know A lot of it boils down to he did some stuff in the past but could have grown since then. He was immature himself and said stupid things, a common human mistake. But yes, he SHOULD remove the bigots. If MCC is meant to be inclusive and safe As someone who spent far too long on Twitter. This is often their way of thinking, far too often, even if you HAVE improved. People will hold things over your head, assume you are still the same person, or can never change Kids needs good adult figures in their lives to know who the bad adults wanting to take advantage of them are. Twitter has a history of, if you are x age, and you talk to a minor, you are automatically a groomer no matter what. It's highly depressing, so because of that Scott is now labeled a groomer for just talking to a kid He's apologized for being human and being immature. But people aren't letting him have time to improve and show that he's improved. They are just ready to ruin him. While, yes, he needs to take responsibility for his actions. Twitter is taking things way WAY too far once again

Your friendly twitter deep diver (Seriously, it was bad, but I wanted to help)

this was like. extremely helpful. people just being bad people. yep. thanks! so basically #scottisnotbadparty

[damnfandomproblems]

I agree with 4119 for the most part

But the thing with race is that it is almost always done with the intent of erasure or "fixing"

It's never "I wanted to explore this character as if they had a different ethnic background in this setting"

It's always "this character would look BETTER with this specific skin color and that's all I'll add to them and ignore all other culture aspects I could give the character relating to their skintone because I actually don't care about representing different people. I just want to be viewed as inclusive and unproblematic by my peers and I do that by changing the characters skin and nothing else because all I care about it what skin color people have. Also I attack others for calling me out on this by telling them all they care about is the characters skin and asking why they care so much that I made the character with *x* skintone. Ect. Ect. Ect."

Listen we wouldn't have so much problem with this if people were actually creative about it.

There's nothing and I mean NOTHING wrong with wanting to explore a character with a different skin tone or culture or whatever.

It's when people have this attitude about it like the character is somehow better in someway for having an either lighter or darker skin tone. And yes I'm talking about both. Because both whitewashers and blackwashers do the exact same thing and have the exact same arguments as to why they think it's acceptable to racewash when they are both wrong.

It's supposed to be like race bending. It's supposed to be a fun way to explore a character in different ways.

It is NOT meant to be a way to "one up" the "Whites/Blacks" OR to belittle the original design. Not even "edits" are good because there's actually zero thought or research going into them. I've seen a significant amount of edits for middle eastern characters who are paler or tanned being made to look extremely dark even though alot of middle eastern countries and ethnicities are pale or lighter in color making the characters original design accurate actually.

People get so mad at characters like that because of their moms basement preception of reality that they don't even know what people from other countries even look like.

Never have I seen an actually well thought out redesign of a character where they actually explore said character with a different ethnicity and culture. It's always "wow *x* looks a million times better now and is so accurate to real life"

And hell this 8snt even touching upon the fact that some people mistake tan characters from somewhere like Europe or America or east and south(south east?) Asia as black. Not even Indian or Spanish or even Mexican. Not even native American or anything else. Just black. And if that's not telling how horrible people who blackwash are. Literally no better than white washers.

Or the fact that so many people assume Asian characters are automatically white because they don't have "Asian eyes" or yellow toned skin. (or the fact that alot of people will redesign pale Asian anime characters with yellow skin and slanted eyes to make it more "realistic" which as an Asian myself I consider that to be damned fucking racist)

There are ways to explore race in characters. There are ways to do so respectfully and without belittling the original ethnicity of the character. But that's not what people do. People just want to express their internal racism and prejudice and narrow and ignorant views on the world and it's people without being criticized by their peers.

Trust me I would not mind if someone took a character and decided to explore how their life would unfold and how characters might treat them (depending on how the world and it's people view such ethnicities) under a different ethnicity or culture. I would not mind if someone just wanted to see how they could design a character and their meanings but using a different culture. (like how two different flowers could have the same meaning. Or how different colors have different meanings. A character with the colors meaning passion might be designed with a different color of the same or similar meaning in a different culture), or how a character might choose a different path in life due to their culture or how they chose the same path despite their culture. there is just so much you can do but all people care about is the fucking skin and "how much better the character is now" with a different skin.

I hope that makes sense.

Posting since this is a reply to a previous problem.

[lapeaudelamemoire]

This may be a controversial opinion but I genuinely find that white people can't be trusted to care about anything outside themselves for the most part as a group.

In the last few months looking for a psych placement in mental health + starting work at this new 2-day/week placement in a community health centre, white folks have consistently shown that they just. Don't seem to actively think about people who are not white, both on a systemic and individual scale. Diversity and marginalisation only matter and exist to white people insofar as white people are or can be affected by them, which really isn't any surprise at all when I say this; we know this about white people.

Like the word 'Pride'. 'Pride' is just automatically assumed to be about LGBTQIA+ pride immediately all the time. And yes this is probably in large part because of context in that this isn't the 'US' (it's 'Aus') and there isn't other movements like Black pride or Indigenous pride but like there's never any consideration of other potentialities, it always just automatically means or refers to LGBTQiA+ people. There's a 'Victorian Pride Centre' and the 'Pride' in it refers to LGBTQIA+ pride because it's a LGBTQIA+-friendly space celebrating LGBTQIA+ folks.

Then there was a suggestion of a professional development and training workshop and the top one that was suggested was something called 'Trauma-Informed Diversity Awareness'. To me, 'Diversity' means cultural diversity. But it's also still a vague title in that - what diversity are you talking about? It doesn't specify or say. That's so vague. So I read the blurb and it turns out it's about fucking transgender and gender-diverse people again and it just gets referred to as 'LGBT+' in discussions again. Which isn't wrong, and it is important, but if it's about trans and gender diversity then just fucking say it's TGD awareness, dear g-d.

Then I chat to my supervisor (who is white) about my case load which is all white folks even though some are not Anglo, but I literally have 1 Chinese client out of 6 current interactive clients, and all of them are older women except again for 1 late 20s dude, and he says 'That sounds like a pretty diverse caseload' and I'm like. No????? Actually absolutely not???

And neurodiversity. White folk love talking about neurodiversity. Suddenly now every white person I'm seeing is talking about neurodiversity. When they say they're inclusive, they mean of neurodiversity and LGBTQIA+.

But you never see the word 'diverse' meaning culturally diverse when a white person fucking uses it, it feels like lately, where I am in the mental health sector. It's driving me insane.

Tldr; white folk really fucking forget nonwhite people exist. And you also see it in how absolutely fucking no one has been talking about Gaza in my daily life in the, again, fucking mental health sector. And you see it in how white folk treated the Ukrainian invasion by Russia vs. Gaza and Palestine. And how yesterday the two white women in front of me in the open office cubicles were talking about the fucking Oscars like everyday life really is just going on like nothing is happening.

There is white life, and then there is just 'all other, less relevant life, only relevant insofar as they can be made use of to aid white life'.

[lavenderarts]

Um.. this isn't supposed to be hate or anything, i just think that you while having the right spirit of support, are like, kind of having a bit of terf retoric yourself..?

I definitly agree that a trans man should not, EVER feel the need to identify as lesbian to be valid. Thats definitly right!! Nobody EVER should be forced to appease the terfs.

But also,

lesbianism should be about love of women, not about the exclusion of men.. THATS the terf retoric..

Sometimes peoples gender identity is more complicated than you think. Sometimes people are men and men adjacent, but identify with labels for their own identity for how they FEEL they are. And i think, it is like, its not nice to try and police labels.

Lesbianism historically has been more inclusive than just "'only-women' who like 'only-women'", it is more mixed then just having NOT-MEN in it, it is only of the recent decade that the discourse of lesbianism has become so esclusive, so vehamently avoidant of anything "man", because of, you guess it, terfs. Terfs are so hateful of men and trans men espcially.. its all messed up, please research it up i can not even come close to saying everything here!

other peopls should identify as they like, even if it makes little sense to others, yes we are all lgbt+ but that doesnt mean specific labels are not important to those who use it! Everyone is indiviual !

Ive been seeing weird lesbian discourse this week and it makes me sad, this is not your fault, but, please be careful, don't fall into your own policing of identities..

Also I apologize for the long ask, I genuinly only want everybody to be more open minded. Thank you for reading ;;;

Y'all hate lesbians so fucking god damn much. You think we're all TERFs and everything we say about our own identity is TERF rhetoric automatically because YOU associate US with those hateful hags. Me saying men aren't lesbians isn't TERF-adjacent because men does not automatically refer to trans women, and if you assume that's what I'm saying it says more about you than about me. Me saying lesbianism excludes men isn't TERF rhetoric, it's fact. Lesbians telling you that our sexuality is the only fucking one in existence where men are not welcome in any way isn't a TERF thing at all. The fact that we have to qualify everything we say about ourselves with "don't worry I'm not talking about trans women :)" because otherwise you think we're TERFs is a you fucking problem, not me. Not all TERFs are lesbians and not all lesbians are TERFs, and saying the completely normal, rational, and correct sentence "Trans men are men and men cannot be lesbians and people who are attracted to men cannot be lesbians" is not hateful or wrong. I don't care how cool you think the word lesbian is, sometimes it doesn't apply to you and you need to get a grip on that, we aren't some secret exclusive club that needs to be opened and made more accommodating. Lesbianism IS about loving women, and it is also the only sexuality that has nothing to do with men in any way, shape, or form, and the rest of you just cannot handle it and are constantly trying to hammer the definition into something that doesn't sound like a dirty word to you because you have some internalized shit you need to work out on your own away from dykes

Genuinely shut the fuck up I am not here to hold your hand and make you feel better because you're sooooo sad that lesbians are talking about issues that affect us. Take your condescending dumb ass elsewhere PLEASE I'm so sowwy I made you feel bad bc I wasn't Nice :((((((

[t-am-i-the-asshole]

AITA for not asking my grandparents to include the other kids in my house when we visit the water park?

I (16M) have a really crazy house because my mom remarried after my dad died. Her husband already had two kids when they met who are now 12 and 11. Her husband's best friend went to jail 18 months after my mom got married to her husband and they took in his best friends kids who are now 8 and 6. Then her husband's sister died and she had a a kid now 5 who also came to live here. So in total there are 6 kids (including me) in the house and two adults.

My dad's parents see me a few times a year. My mom doesn't let me see them too often because she's worried the other kids will feel left out, especially because my grandparents don't automatically include them or send them gifts and stuff.

About a week ago they told me they were planning to take me to this water park that got renovated about 2 hours away from where I live. They said we could make a day of it and mom already gave them permission to take me for the whole day. Mom was listening to my conversation with them and right after the call ended she asked me if that was the place the other kids had wanted to visit. I told her I wasn't sure but probably since everyone was talking about it at school.

My mom made a noise and then a few hours later she told me she had talked to her husband and they wanted me to ask my grandparents to include the other kids that day. She said they could never afford something like that but my grandparents can and she's happy to pay to come along and be an extra set of hands. But she feels like they should be willing to include all the kids this once because it's something so popular and exciting.

I told mom I didn't want them to come with us and I wanted to spend time with my grandparents. She told me I needed to ask because they would never say yes to her but if they think I want them there it'll convince them. She gave me a few days to ask and I didn't and then her husband brought himself into the conversation and the two of them have reprimanded me for being selfish and for being greedy. They said I have the chance to do something kind and wonderful for my "siblings" and it's not like mom isn't willing to come so she can help. But I need to accept that I have the only grandparents in this family and that means I should be encouraging more of an inclusive dynamic between us all. My mom told me she might not be able to say no to it but she can remind me that I'm already not the best oldest brother in the world and one day I might actually think of them as siblings and regret not trying to make them happier.

AITA?

[jellyfishright]

At A Distance, Spring Is Green -BL Version (Yeo Jun x Nam Soo Hyun):Chapter 4 :Where I belong

The group gathered at a popular cafe of Yeo Jun's choosing to discuss their project. Everyone except Soo Hyun ordered. Of course Yeo Jun was paying.

"So what should our presentation be on?" Chun Guk asked.

"How about success stories in marketing?" Gung-Ho suggested.

Soo Hyun objected. "No.It's a topic easy to do research on so another team could beat us to it."

"Can't we say we called dibs?" Yeo Jun queried.

The juniors replied in unison. "No."

"A common topic won't let us stand out." Soo Hyun expounded.We won't get good grades even with a good presentation."

"What's your idea then?" Gung-Ho poked at Soo Hyun

All eyes turned to him.

"An analysis on marketing strategies that failed." Soo Hyun replied.

Of course. That sounded so much like him.

"It sounds fresh." Jun offered his opinion. "I don't know any better. But it'll make us stand out."

"Isn't it a cheap trick to go that route just because success stories seems too easy?" It was Gung-Ho who objected this time. Soo Hyun leaned back in his chair. "The conclusion will be the same.Something like failure is the mother of success." 

He looked at the girl who seemed to be content with drinking quietly. "Kim Soo Bin. What do you think?"

So-Bin was startled at this sudden inclusion. Still, she thought for a while and made her suggestion.

In the end it was So-Bin's suggestion that won. They would present on a top tier product falling down the ladder due to failure in marketing and examples of marketing strategies that couldn't adjust to the needs of consumers. 

Their next issue to iron out was choosing a leader from among themselves. Gung-Ho, based on his age, assumed the role would automatically be his since he was the eldest.Jun suggested Soo Hyun, Soo Hyun suggest So-Bin since  she had presented the idea. In the end by 4 votes to 2, So-Bin was made the leader.

With these matters settled, Soo Hyun left first. Without a word of goodbye.

"The pretentious jerk!" Gung-Ho griped. "It's impossible to like him."

Yeo Jun looked at the empty seat and bit his lip thoughtfully.

Gung-Ho and the others, with the exception of So-Bin were now ripping into Soo Hyun and his faults.

So-Bin and Jun had their own opinions on Soo Hyun. Unlike the others who discussed him with passionate dislike, these two could certainly agree:Soo Hyun really was a peculiar person. His ways were different but they weren't necessarily wrong.

They were thus engaged in this conversation when Jun's phone rang. His smile faltered at the name on the caller ID. He stopped walking. 

"I've got a call to make." he told So-Bin. "I'll talk to you later group leader."

So-Bin nodded and left.

When she was far away enough Jun picked up the call.

"Hello?"

[Come home for dinner. It's on Friday night. Your aunt and uncle will be there too]

"Right.It's been a while since I've seen you and father."

[Do you actually miss us?] his mother asked

"Of course. I miss home cooked meals too."

[Don't lie just because I can't see you.I can hear it in your voice.] Jun was silent [I'm fond of having you here either.It's not like you're someone to be proud of.Since your brother is busy you'll have to do instead.What can I do when I have a limited number of sons? Be here, even if you don't want to be.]

"Right.I'll see you then." Jun replied.

[Don't be your usual self and be here on time.]

"Sure."

[That reminds me.Is your hair still a mess?I don't want to burn my eyes out so clean yourself up. Your brother never had his hair like that.]

"Yes mother. I'll do just that." Jun replied.."Don't you worry---"

Click.

The line went dead.

Since the day he'd received that call from his mother Yeo Jun had been listless.Her words reverberated daily.

I'm fond of having you here either.

It's not like you're someone to be proud of.

Since your brother is busy you'll have to do instead.What can I do when I have a limited number of sons? 

Be here, even if you don't want to be.

He wasn't sure why had expected or even dared to hope that call would be different. He really was a foolish person.

No matter how much he wished it was different, the ugly truth stared him in his beautiful face.He had no one who wanted him and he had nowhere that he truly belonged.

A few days after the call and it was finally Friday.It was also the day he had the first official group meet for their project. He met Soo Hyun at the door.

"Hi." he greeted him with a smile.

Soo Hyun only looked at him and continued on his way.

Yeo Jun frowned. So rude.

When they both arrived at the designated room, So-Bin was already there arranging snacks on a table.

"You're already here." Jun greeted

"I just got here." she looked at Soo Hyun "Hi Soo Hyun."

"Don't do things like this by yourself. This isn't a team leader's job."

Jun rolled his eyes. "Come on. All you need to say is 'Thank you.'. You're so cranky." He turned to So-Bin. "He's right though.Get me to do it since I'm the youngest."

So-Bin was beginning to look a little uncomfortable. "Anyone who is here can do it." She hoped that would be the end of that discussion.

"Did you call everyone else on the team?" Soo Hyun queried.

So-Bin confirmed that she had.

Over a half hour later, it was still just So-Bin, Soo Hyun and Yeo-Jun. A few minutes after Jun and Soo Hyun's arrival Hye-Ji had texted to say she was coming down with a cold thus they would be down to five.

But at present, the other two were nowhere in sight.

Jun must have been tired of waiting as he pointed out. "This is our first meeting. Where is everyone?"

"Is this your first group assignment?" So-Bin asked Jun.

He nodded.

Since Jun was  freshman, she proceeded to explain what was commonplace in group assignments.There were types sets of people :Those who are responsible and those who are not. When it came to group assignments you would hear all kinds of excuses.

She sighed.

"Gung-Ho and Chun Guk are not picking up their phones. I should have double checked with everyone." She looked particularly at Soo Hyun who was busy writing something "I'm sorry."

Without looking up, Soo Hyun replied. "The fewer people there are, the easier it will be." He finally raised his head "We're here anyway so let's divide the work amongst ourselves."

"Without the others?" Jun asked.

It was Jun who asked but Soo Hyun didn't look at him  when he was responding. "Then what? Are we going to keep waiting?"

"Then I'll let them know which parts they should work on." So-Bin replied.

"Do you trust they'll  do the work?"

This question caught So-Bin offguard.

"What?"

"It's hard to forgive someone who betrays your trust.It's easier to think they were never on the team."

After saying his piece Soo Hyun went back to his work.

Jun, who had been silent for the most part, finally spoke.

"You're always so negative."

"I'd say I'm a realist." Soo Hyun replied.

"If that's what it's like to be a realist, I don't want to be one."  Soo Hyun finally stopped whatever he was working on.  "But it must be hard to be positive if you're down in the gutter " Yeo Jun continued "I get it."

"You get it?" Soo Hyun echoed. He finally looked at Yeo Jun. "Do you even know what that means?"

Yeo Jun held Soo Hyun's gaze. "I sure do.Being broke isn't the only reason you end up in the gutter.I hope you're not one of those pathetic losers who attack innocent people because they think no one else  is more miserable than they are  when they don't even know others' situations. They do that because they have too much ego."

When Jun was done speaking, Soo Hyun began to gather his things.

Seeing the situation taking this turn, So-Bin felt a sense of panic.

"I'm the team leader." she spoke up. Soo Hyun stopped to hear what she had to say "I don't want to give up on anyone.We'll divide it up into six parts.If they don't do their parts,I'll do their work."

Soo Hyun looked at her briefly before sighing.

"Then I'm out." he declared.Without packing the rest in his bag, he retrieved them from the table and took his leave.

So-Bin was stunned. "We need him to be a part of the team."

"Don't worry. I'll brig him back." Yeo Jun assured her before making his way outside.

They didn't have far to go to catch up with Soo Hyun. He was just outside the second set of doors standing opposite Gung-Ho and Chun-Guk.

"What happened Chun-Guk?" I called you several times, So-Bin questioned from behind Soo Hyun.

Chun-Guk hung his head. "We were playing billiards and we lost track of the time."

"Did you guys drink?" Jun asked

"The loser had to buy chicken and beer." Chun-Guk explained.

"Nam Soo Hyun you jerk!" Gung-Ho exploded. "Hey. What did you just say about my age ? Say it again."

"I said you're 26 and you need to act your age." Soo Hyun said matter-of-factly.

Yeo Jun looked at Soo Hyun in disbelief.

"You jerk." Gung-Ho was obviously grieved. "You think I'm a complete joke don't you?"

"Because you played billiards and drank beer, we wasted our precious time." Soo Hyun's words were sharp. "What a way to set an example."

Gung-Ho saw red. "You little jerk. Got a death wish?" He swung at Soo Hyun who dodged. "Look at you. You dodged it? Get back here.Come at me jerk. You're so dead."

Watching this was making Yeo Jun very anxious.

"Gung-Ho. Please calm down." he tried to stay Gung-Ho "We're at school now."

"Get off me." Gung-Ho tapped Jun in the chest

"Help me calm him down." Jun appealed to Chun-Guk.

"Hey. Just leave him be." Chun-Guk frowned. "Nam Soo yun deserves to be beaten up."

"Chun-Guk please." Jun begged.

"You're drunk. Please don't cause trouble. Just leave okay?" So-Bin added her own pleas.

Gung-Ho was incensed "Have you all gone mad?" He looked at Jun. "Yeo Jun.Let go." There was no friendliness in his voice or on his face. "One..two.."

Jun's panic was increasing "You, Chun-Guk and I should go for another drink. Come on." His hands were still on Gung-Ho.

Without further warning, Gung-Ho flung Jun from his body, causing him to slide a few meters away on the floor.

The minute he hit the floor, his pupils shrank as the past came clawing at him.

Pain. Fear. Hurt.Screams.

Pain. Fear. Hurt.Screams.

The voices in the hallway seemed distant and all he could hear were the screams of the past.

"Hey, don't look down on us because your family's rich." Gung-Ho spat. "We know that you belittle us behind our backs."

Soo Hyun looked at Jun on the ground and began walking away.

"Where are you going?" Gung-Ho grabbed him by the shoulder. "You little.." He spun Soo Hyun and swung, finally hitting him in the face.

At the first hit, there was already blood on  Soo Hyun's lips.Gung-Ho grabbed him again, preparing for the second attack when...

"Don't hit him!" Yeo Jun screamed from this place on the ground. It was a pained, desperate scream. "Just talk it out! Why must you hit him?" His chest was heaving. Tears were pricking his eyes. "Don't hit him...Don't.."

Everyone turned to look at Yeo Jun.

"Jun." Soo Hyun called out to Him.

There was a distant look in Yeo Jun's eyes as he repeated "Don't hit him..Don't hit him.."

The group was stunned into silence.No one had ever seen Yeo Jun in such a frenzied, panicked and pitiful state.

Realizing everyone was looking at him Yeo Jun stood to his feet and headed outside, not meeting  a single pair of eyes.

Soo Hyun watched him go.Nevermind his own bleeding face. He was still very taken aback by what he had just witnessed.

Ten minutes later, against his protests, Kim So-Bin applied ointment and a bandaid to his face that was slightly bruised from his run-in with Gung-Ho.

During the time she also managed to convince him to come back to their group as well as promise not to carry the weight of the freeloaders. That satisfied him enough.

He was about to leave when she stayed him.

"Yeo Jun is not normally like that." she said.Soo Hyun looked at her, wondering why she was telling him that. "I don't know why he did that earlier.Please try to understand."

"So you know what he's normally like?" Soo Hyun questioned.

"Jun always smiles alot and is very sociable.I don't think he's usually that sensitive."

"I guess you're right." Soo Hyun conceded. "But I refuse to try to understand him.I simply can't" he confessed. With that, he turned and left.

Yeo Jun hadn't planned on going back to his condo. He's just walked in a daze and this is where he ended up. He was still very bothered by what had happened earlier. He's slipped. At the sight of Soo Hyun being hit like that his own demons came rearing their heads, claws bared.

He sighed.

He was almost at his door when he spotted that car again, parked infront of his condo.

Jun was about to walk by it to head inside when the occupant rolled down the window.

"Get in." he commanded. "You said you were headed home."

Yeo Jun didn't look at Jun Wan. "I can go by myself."

Jun Wan didn't look at Yeo Jun. "Just get in."

Yeo Jun complied.

"Mom called me first. I didn't call her." he said when he was in the passenger seat.

"I told you to let me know if you were ever going to go home." Jun Wan replied.

"I don't want to do that."Neither of them had been looking at the other until now. "Why do I have to do that?" Yeo Jun asked. "Why do I need your permission to go home?"

"Because it's not your home." Jun Wan stated flatly.

"So you're not my brother." he retorted before reaching for the door handle.

Jun Wan locked the doors. "Put your seatbelt on." Yeo Jun complied.

 were looking at the other as they spoke.

The ride to their house wasn't an hour long and before they knew it, the brothers were pulling into their family home.

Yeo Jun timidly walked into the grand home behind his brother.

"Jun Wan! You made it." their mother's face lit up when she saw her elder son.

Yeo Jun might as well have been air---invisible.

"Hello mother." he tried to get her attention.

She gave him a look of disgust, as though he was something foul stuck on the bottom of her shoe. "You're here." She gave him a sweeping glance before focusing once more on Jun Wan.

Yeo Jun's heart dipped lower than the ground as he hung his head. It was like a knife digging into a wound that had not yet scabbed over so it would bleed afresh.

"Come." their mother held on to Jun Wan's arm. "Your aunt and your uncle are here. They will be very happy to see you."

Yeo Jun trailed behind, heading out to the terrace where everyone was gathered.

Including the unwanted Yeo Jun, there were a total of 6 people at the table. His Father,his brother, his mother as well as his mother's sister and her husband.

"I envy you." his aunt spoke to his mother. "Your younger son is so adorable." Yeo Jun smiled.

"And your elder son is the youngest doctorate degree holder and a professor." her husband joined in. "Myung-hoon." he addressed Jun's father specifically "you've done a great job raising your boys."

His father's face was its usual stern self. "A man must ave big goals. I expect more from them." he stated bluntly.

"Doesn't Jun Wan look more handsome in person than he does on TV?" their mother smiled proudly looking at her first born.

"Yes .He does." the table agreed.

"Chan-woo got into Seoyul University you know." his aunt boasted of her son. "He'll attend Jun-Wan's alma mater."

"That doesn't mean they're on the same level." his father's bluntness cut in. His aunt's face faltered.

She turned her attention to Yeo Jun. "Jun. What are you majoring in at Seoyul University?"

Jun-Wan put his fork down.

"I didn't get in." Yeo Jun confessed. "I'm studying business at Myungil University."

"Oh. Right." she replied. "Everyone else in the family studied at Seoyul University so I forgot." She looked at her sister. "Sorry about that."

An awkward silence descended on the table. He had to do something.

"My School's great auntie." Yeo Jun replied. "Jun Wan teaches at my school you know."

"That's true." his aunt conceded. "I thought he'd get a position at either Seoyul University of HAIST but you transferred to Myungil University?"

That awkward silence threatened to metastasize. Yeo Jun's efforts had gone horribly wrong.

"Seoyul University, which we graduated from , isn't that different from Myungil University that Jun is going to. " Jun -Wan pointed out.

"Not different?" his aunt questioned. "That's ridiculous." she'd obviously taken offence to Jun-Wan's proclamation.

"Despite the standards of Korean Universities,none of them produced a noteworthy scholar or has an outstanding educational environment."

There were no more arguments brooked. There was also no way to diffuse the bomb whose fuse had been lit.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

>Oftentimes transphobes will accuse trans women of being rapists based only on the fact that they have a penis (regardless of if she actually has a penis or not). Transphobes see trans women as "men who wear dresses so they can invade women's spaces and rape them."

Why are you making this about trans people, specifically, when the subject was false accusations and rape accusations in general?

>Yes, it is more significant that she's a radfem. But the te part of terf is not irrelevant.

Just in the interest of clarity; are you using Shinigami Eyes?

And if nthfem wasn't a TERF, would you have said anything at all?

>If you can never question a rape accusation, then transphobes can accuse any trans person they want to punish them for existing. Just like how common it was in the past for racist white women to accuse black men of rape so the men would be lynched. Not to mention that a trans woman existing in her body is often seen as a sexual deviance on its own.

Again, so?

Loads of radfems and mainstream feminists say women's accusations of men should be uncritically believed and society should not discuss false or mistaken accusation at all. Including pro-trans people. Eg the Brett Kavanaugh controversy.

They are just as reprehensible, IMO.

Also, I notice that the only people you're describing as victims of false rape accusations are people in minority groups.

Are you familiar with the duke university lacrosse case?

a black exotic dancer accused a sports team full of rich white boys of gangrape.

a lot of people believed her, because the situation fit their beliefs about gender, class and race. it was like those situations with the black men you mentioned, except everything but the gender was reversed.

and it turned out she was lying.

more recently there was the Rolling Stone article "a rape on campus". The second verse goes the same as the first, with some slight variations.

this accusation was in a magazine article, and the accused fraternity successfully sued Rolling Stone and the reporter in question for a few million dollars.

Around the same time we have mattress girl. A Columbia University student said a white boy sexually assaulted her. she carried a mattress dramatically to the Campus for her senior project got loads of National attention from mainstream feminism.

of course the narrative ignored how she already accused the accused to the school and the police and both have decided she didn't have much of a case. the guy she accused settled a lawsuit against the school because they failed to protect him.

So, you see, false rape accusations hurt cis white men, even when they fail. In this case, they also hurt the rep of Rolling Stone, Columbia U, UVa, and the gullible reporters who supported the false accusations.

>As an aside, I honestly dislike referring to terfs as feminists in any capacity since their ideology is rooted more in hatred of men than it is in the uplifting of women. I also don't know of any radfems that are trans inclusive, so the venn diagram of a terf and a radfem is basically a circle.

Radfems in general are rooted in hatred of men. TERFs just include trans women as 'men'. They're just a different branch of extremist feminism, and use the same basic gendered threat narrative as feminism in general.

And even mainstream feminism claims to be about "gender equality".

Extremists still count as part of the movement, and "uplifting women" includes privileging women.

>it seems you enjoy engaging in arguments and debates on tumblr about things like this#but im going to respond in good faith even though i have a feeling you just want to argue about something

I created this blog so I could discuss highly charged issues without attaching them to my real name.

You just made a thinly-veiled, passive-aggressive personal attack. Possibly because I'm questioning your ideology.

>#because like. you had to search through the notes to find my tags to call them into question

Tags show up automatically on the new tumblr UI. So just scrolling through the notes would show them. Which I do habitually, in case I see someone else who has a post I want to reblog.

Which is the main purpose of this website.

>#i dont think you follow me so you didnt just happen across my post with my tags on it

You say this, yet you either use Shinigami Eyes, or checked nthfem's blog to see what she thought, even though what she said in this thread is already reprehensible sexism.

Unless she bought up "MRAs" and wasn't gendering rape victims and rapists, somehow. Which radfems and mainstream feminists and people who sneer at the idea of false rape existing almost always do.

>#but i think its a fair question. what DOES transphobia have to do with false rape accusations?#i think it has to do a lot with them actually#whos an easier target to accuse of rape than someone whos often seen as a sexual predator and pervert by too many people already?

Like men? Like regular ol' men, around children? Like the men radfems hate, even by your own admission?

I also think it's worth pointing out the nature of the most common pervert accusations against trans people. Specifically, trans women are supposedly men in dresses who are either confusing their fetish for their gender identity, mentally ill, or outright predators.

Also, most false accusations of rape and sexual assault are against cis men, from cis women.

IMO, if I was to look at LGBT people who are accused of being perverts these days, it's also highly likely to be cis gay men, especially drag queens reading to kids.

So, I think you're focusing on the smaller problem.

personally I think false rape accusations are wrong for a variety of reasons. including on a fundamental moral level. the harm is not just to the accused. it damages actual victims. it damages people who trusted the accusation. it's a waste of time, money, and resources. Sometimes it can get people killed. I care, no matter who it happens to.

you, by contrast, seem to care almost exclusively when you think it harms trans people. And, briefly, about some old historical racial cases that happened decades before either of us were born.

Good day.

It's an important point that any system for establishing guilt will have false positives but torture and murder is bad even if it's torture and murder of the genuinely guilty. Like "kill all rapists" isn't bad just because there's no good way to tell rapists from non rapists

[qqueenofhades]

Can I ask you what you think of Janina Ramirez's forthcoming book, "Femina: A New History of the Middle Ages, Through the Women Written Out of It"?

Hmm. Full disclosure, I had not heard of this book or author beforehand, and had to Google it. So this is my impression after reading some quick biographical and summary snippets, and doesn't represent any kind of full or detailed breakdown.

First, unlike some other people who feel qualified to write popular-history books on the Middle Ages, the author does have a PhD in medieval studies from a reputable institution, so that's always a solid start. It looks as if her speciality was art history (her thesis was on the symbolism of birds in manuscripts) and that is what she has taught on since, including a stint on the BBC as a consulting art historian. I'm not sure how this translates to her handling of texts or interpretation of sources, but she's published a few other books and lectured at top UK universities, so she does have actual credentials. However, and this may be just me, I always get a little bit twitchy when historians with other primary specialties decide to parachute into the "medieval women were oppressed and I should write a book about it" arena. I would have to actually read the book to see how all this was treated, though.

I'm also a little skeptical of the title, just because it announces upfront the point that the author wants to make (medieval women were systematically and deliberately written out of official historical records, and as a result we don't know anything and/or less than we should about them). To some degree, obviously, yes, this is correct; Western European medieval women did experience individual and institutional forms of Western Christian-derived misogyny that impacted on how they were treated, written about, and remembered. Yet again, though, I'm getting a little tired of historians announcing that we don't know much about medieval women, while standing in front of all the evidence about medieval women that they're using to sell a book. One of the examples that this book uses in its blurb is Margery Kempe, to which I say: really? Yes, Kempe being a female religious mystic impacted how she was treated, and her gender was an important part of her self-image and social legacy, including the way later churchmen tried to sanitize and reinterpret her memory. But you'd have a hard time genuinely arguing that she was "written out" of history in any meaningful way, whether institutionally, religiously, or literarily; she was probably the inspiration for the Wife of Bath in the Canterbury Tales. The fact that misogyny was present in her life does not automatically mean she was "written out" or deliberately excluded from collective memory.

Of course, that's only one example, and there may well be less-known and/or more relevant others. In which case, I would ask if this would fall prey to the same problem with The Bright Ages: announcing itself as a new and inclusive history of "the Middle Ages" and then only focusing on Western European (white) women holding traditional positions of social, political, and religious power. This book claims to "go beyond the official records," which is all well and good, but then what sources are you using instead, and is this an argument about "history" itself or the specific practice of premodern Western institutional historiography? Are you trying to claim that this is less about the way women were treated in their daily lives than how they were written about later, both, or something else? It seems to me like the answer is "both," which... again, is not entirely wrong, but I would have to see how exactly, and with what nuance, that argument was made. Likewise, does this include trans or queer medieval women, women of color, women outside the power hierarchy, and so on? If we're using women who were important enough to be "written out" in the first place (itself a sign of a certain level of influence or privilege, if chroniclers felt the need to downplay or modify their achievements) that means someone was writing about them, even if not to write about them. So is this actually saying what the author seems to think it's saying?

Likewise, the book is being published by Penguin, so it's clearly intended for a popular rather than scholarly audience. This is also telegraphed in the fact that the book uses the hoary old "everyone thinks of the Dark Ages as violent, rapey, and patriarchal!" chestnut as its hook (look, women existed and did things back then too!). Obviously, yes, the average person on the street would come up with that if you asked them to play word association with the Middle Ages, and there is value in explicitly refuting this paradigm to start with. However, if you're spending a lot of space arguing against an outdated cliché that nobody in your actual scholarly field still believes, you're wasting time that could be used to make a different argument and/or exploring the deeper modern reasons for the persistence of this stereotype. As ever, there's value in pitching the debate at the level of non-specialists, who might well pick up this book and learn something useful that challenges their preconceived notions. But at this point, I feel like gender and social historians have to do a little more than that, y'know?

Likewise, as someone who works on medieval gender, social, and queer history myself, I would note that I don't start out automatically expecting my subjects of study to have experienced misogyny, homophobia, societal exclusion, etc. Sometimes, yes, they obviously have, and that shapes their experience. Just as often, however, that is not necessarily the case, or at least if it is, it's more complicated than medieval society just pointing and going WOMAN, EW! If we start out expecting to read explicit modern prejudices into premodern experiences, then yes, that's what we're going to see. Is this author making an overall point that things are still like this, not like this, that things have changed or that they haven't, etc? There's clearly going to be some kind of comparative aspect to it, but I would likewise need to see what that was before having a complete understanding of what she's trying to do here.

Anyway, it certainly looks interesting enough, and as ever, if a non-specialist picks it up and learns something useful, all for the best. This, however, would be the mindset and critique that I would have in mind before reading it, and then ask yourself how well it answers those questions.

[humanwritesviolations]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to head into the vault, to dig up some shit from years in the past.

Lemme just grab my shovel and...just a little...no no I got it it's fine...man, this is heavy with opinions, I bet it's a beaut!

...hmm, ranting about white folks. Well, whatever sticks to the wall, I guess. Roll 'em.

Representation

Dated: 3 years ago

Source: Dropbox

As a white man, I'm tired of listening to white men's stories.

Every time I watch TV or a movie, I'm subjected to and bombarded with story after story of Rich White Man, Scrappy White Man, Underdog White Man, Clever White Man, Brilliant White Man, Genius Scientist White Man, Unruly Doctor White Man, Tough Cop White Man, Strong Capable White Man.

White man, white man, white man, white man, white man.

If I wanted to hear a story about a white man, I would talk to most of the people I interact with at work, or in my social group, or on the internet, or literally anywhere in my life. I have four brothers and dozens of cousins, a bunch of friends and a lot of coworkers. The sum total percentage of white men in my life is probably around 80.

So why do I also need Christian Bale's Batman, Robert Downey Jr's Iron Man, Finn Jones's Iron Fist, Benedict Cumberbatch's Dr. Strange and Sherlock, Hugh Laurie's House M.D., Mark Hamill's Luke Skywalker, Harrison Ford's Indiana Jones, Henry Cavill as Superman, Andrew Garfield and Toby Maguire as Spider-Man and about a thousand others I could name? Yes, I get that most of these characters are iconic and timeless and are being brought to life on the big screen, some for the first time and others for the fiftieth, but why are these stories so interesting that they need to be told and retold? What makes these characters so compelling while others are left to the side?

The Avengers are full of almost as many white men as Congress. Where is my Black Widow movie? When do we get to explore Falcon's story? Is Nick Fury (thank you to Avengers Ultimate, by the way, for going a different route with him in the first place) ever going to have some light shine on his background?

And don't get me started on "people don't want non-white male superheroes." Jessica Jones was heavily lauded by critics and views alike, and sits at 93%/90% on Rotten Tomatoes for critic/viewer response, respectively. When Luke Cage was released, it broke Netflix. BROKE. NETFLIX. It's at 96% Fresh.

And what about non-superhero stories? Well, Luther is 90% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, and Idris Elba is about 150% Fresh in real life.

Even if you say that the protagonist doesn't matter, that it's the writers or the producers or the actors that make it good and not whether the star is white or black or male or female, I would agree with you - and say that if it doesn't matter, stop stacking the deck with white guys. Nick Fury was a J. Jonah Jameson lookalike in the original comics, minus the Hitler-stache, and now he's Samuel L. Jackson. You don't get cooler than that, and we're talking about a guy whose actual name is FURY. To be fair, who better to play him?

But if it doesn't matter in one direction, it doesn't matter in every direction - get us some representation.

"Sure," you might say, "but what about video games?"

Alright, let's compare apples to apples. Let's take a game that was well regarded and compare it to its sequel - I'm talking, of course, about Watch Dogs. Mainly because it's a good example, but also because I've played both of them.

Watch Dogs, starring the absolutely wooden Aiden Pearce doing his best impersonation of Christian Bale's Batman minus the charisma, clocks in at 80% on Metacritic. That's a pretty good score - I've paid full AAA price for games that rated lower than that. Its sequel stars Marcus Halloway, a young black hacker aspiring to follow in similar footsteps as our aforementioned hacker vigilante, who starts off his story by exhibiting personality traits such as humor, emotion and the ability to talk to other people without outward brooding. I've read a lot of user reviews that claim tokenism, calling out the game as a "cuck-liberal fantasy" that "drinks the Kool-Aid" to "wash down the blue pill" and other such terms intended to write off a thing as being too inclusive.

It scored 82%.

Now, you could make the argument that every aspect of the game was improved, and that you don't care about the characters or their backgrounds/races/nationalities. You could argue that it's a better game because of the gadgets, or the missions, or the story, or the UI or anything else. You'd have a good point - but you would be missing mine.

I'm not saying a black protagonist made for a better game. I'm saying that a game with a black protagonist WAS a better game. I'm saying that representation does not automatically turn off the audience. I'm saying that you can make a thing starring a not-white/male character and have it work.

But yes, I'm also saying that Marcus Halloway is a three-dimensional character while Aiden Pearce is a lifeless stawman. "Brooding white guy" is not cool anymore. It's boring. It's samey. I didn't care about Aiden, I didn't care about his strained relationship with his sister, I didn't care about his guilt over his niece.

I cared more about the drunken did-they-didn't-they one-night stand Marcus had prior to the opening credits of the sequel than I did about Adrian's entire story in the original.

I don't need another white guy hero. I don't want to see the trials of a rich white guy, or a scrappy white guy. Show me the struggles of a Chinese man. Show me how a black woman deals with life in her neighborhood. Show me what it's like to live a day in the life of a Mexican teenager. What's going on with the woman in Sub-Saharan Africa whose cousin was just arrested for a crime they didn't commit? How does a slice of Syrian life look in 1987? Afghanistan in 1998? Egypt in the 1960's? Zimbabwe at the turn of the century? Give me something interesting. Give me something original. Give me something new.

Give me something I haven't seen before.

And maybe give someone else a hero for a change.

[ramajmedia]

5 Reasons We're Excited For Terminator: Dark Fate (& 5 Reasons We're Worried)

Terminator: Dark Fate is the first feature film in the long-running franchise since 2015's Terminator: Genisys. Funnily enough, it also represents the shortest gap between the sequels. The movie's premise and sizable returning cast look promising, but fans are still in the dark on several aspects of it. Ultimately, one can never really tell until the release date.

Related: 10 Questions We Still Want Answered From The Terminator

With its theatrical run less than two months away, we thought it'd be the perfect time to point out five reasons we are excited about the upcoming film, and five reasons we are still a worried. After all, no-one likes a pessimist or a cynic, but there's nothing wrong with having some reservations. As long as we go into theaters with our expectations at a reasonable level, it'll be just fine.

10 Excited: Linda Hamilton

The last time Linda Hamilton was involved with the series was 1991's Terminator 2: Judgement Day. The third film killed her off-screen, seemingly dooming any prospects of the character's return. Thanks to retcons, however, she's back and ready to decommission some robots.

Linda vigorously trained for the role to get the same intimidating presence she had in the early 90s. The chance to come back to the franchise must have been quite a thrill for her, and fans are hopeful that all of that will show on screen this November.

9 Worried: That Trailer

Plenty of fantastic movies have had questionable trailers, so one can hardly judge the final product based off an advertisement. Still, these snippets are meant to hype up audiences and get them anticipating the release, and Dark Fate's trailer falls flat in some regards.

It's promising intense Terminator on Terminator action, yes, but other elements (and some of the dialog) just don't feel great. Context is everything, though; perhaps the parts shown in the teaser work when put together with the rest of the film.

8 Excited: Tim Miller

Dark Fate is only Tim Miller's second directorial feature, but he has more than proven his worth as a film-maker. His debut movie was none other than Deadpool, after all. Granted, the two are tonally dissimilar, but he successfully translated an atypical comic book character to film, and that deserves respect.

He also knows how to shoot great action scenes. Fortunately, the new film will have an R-rating, assuring fans that the director will have no boundaries when it comes to how intense the action sequences can be.

7 Worried: Set Pieces

Audiences still don't know how every action scene will go down, but the teasers showcase snippets of (presumably) the stand out set pieces. One in particular seems to go a little too far, however. The sequence in question is the one involving two airplanes.

Related: 10 Best Action Sequences From The Terminator Series

Maybe it's absurd discussing realism in a franchise about time-traveling robots, but the series' action is so unique because it feels incredibly heavy and grounded, despite how bombastic and ridiculous it can get. The little bit shown in the teaser of this sequence might just be enough to break some fans' suspension of disbelief.

6 Excited: Arnold Schwarzenegger

It feels good to have Arnold back making movies, doesn't it? He's been in some decent films in recent years, like The Expendables 2, but he's had quite a few misses as well. He co-starred in Terminator: Genisys, and is thankfully returning for Dark Fate. It would not feel right if the Austrian movie star didn't have a part in a Terminator film.

Related: Arnold Schwarzenegger's 10 Best Movies, Ranked

His part is that of a T-800, but a different model than in Terminator 2, considering that character's fiery fate. Details are still sparse on his part, but his inclusion in the film automatically gets a lot of people on board.

5 Worried: Digital Effects

Trailers aren't representative of the movie's final look, and this is even more true when it comes to effects. The teams responsible for inputting these into the finished product are still hard at work making them look as good as possible. Still, if the trailer is an indication of how the CGI will appear in the final release, then it is not promising.

It doesn't just look lackluster; some shots are notably poor. It would be a real shame if the movie failed to live up to the high standard set by Terminator 2.

4 Excited: James Cameron Producing

James Cameron left the franchise behind him after Terminator 2 to focus on other projects. He made good use of his time away, with releases like Titanic and Avatar, but eventually, he got pulled back in and is now a producer on Dark Fate.

His work after Terminator 2 is polarizing, but his two films in the franchise are universally beloved, so there's no reason to think he will drive the franchise into the ground now.

3 Worried: It Could Be A Cut Rate Terminator 2

The one problem with the franchise is every film feeling like a remake of the first movie. Terminator 2 worked because of the added characters and the draw of seeing a Terminator fight another, stronger Terminator. Starting with Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, the concept started seeing diminishing returns.

Dark Fate will have to add more to the mix than a game of cat and mouse to make it feel fresh and exciting. Otherwise, it'll feel like déjà vu and draw unflattering comparisons to one of the best action movies ever made.

2 Excited: But It's Still A Direct Sequel To Terminator 2

The Terminator movies after T2 all had polarizing receptions. At best they are fun thrill rides, but they never lived up to James Cameron's masterpieces. Dark Fate is wiping those three movies from the canon, and is a direct sequel to Judgement Day.

Related: 10 Things You've Never Noticed From Terminator 2

It's even going so far as to include Edward Furlong as John Connor. Some people don't appreciate retcons and feel that a series should always push forward, even through the bad, but it is hard not to get excited for all the returning cast members.

1 Worried: The Last Great Terminator Was Almost Thirty Years Ago

Franchises have been known to come back after long slumps, but the last truly great Terminator film was almost thirty years ago. When something does come back strong after such a long time, it usually happens after a long hiatus.

Blade Runner 2049, for example, was the first sequel to Blade Runner after more than thirty years. The last Terminator was only four years ago. Audiences will find out in November if the franchise should have taken a longer break, or if Dark Fate was exactly the shot in the arm it needed.

Next: 10 Things That Make No Sense About The Terminator Franchise

source https://screenrant.com/terminator-dark-fate-best-worst-signs-reasons-excited-worried/

[queenofthecommunistcannibals]

I am really enjoying this conversation! It is such a relief to talk!

I would be very interested to see these violently homophobic aces, because there are a lot of faked screenshots and whole troll accounts. But I would also believe that there is a loud minority somewhere and if so I have a bone to pick with them. I would be happy to take on your cause if you show me the perpetrators.

I see what you mean but I also think that it is important to let people be excited. Especially if they are new to the community. Let them have their fun. They will calm down. And I would argue for some people sexuality is fluid and labels are something you can exchange. But that is neither here nor there. I don't see how their being unreasonably excited hurts you. Like I said, let them have their fun.

It is a reclaimed slur, yes. The likes of Queer Nation and other groups have been fighting for its use for decades. Like I said queer is inclusive and big and I appreciate you not trying to take it. I have never heard anyone in the LGBTQ+ community say "a queer" or "the gays" besides sarcastically.

Queer is not just a word. Queer is powerful. It is a political statement every time you use it. Queer is mighty. It means a lot to a lot of people. It will never just be "a word". I promise you that. And I appreciate you allowing others to use it. I also recommend you look into how it is being used by the community. It might make you feel better.

Sex negative means thinking sex overall is bad. Sex positive means thinking sex is fine. Then aces can be sex indifferent, sex averse/repulsed, and idk if there is one for aces who want to have sex. I am sex positive (sex is good for people who want it) but sex averse and a bit repulsed (the idea of personally having sex is not only terrifying but also repulsive. And this is extremely gross, but the human body can be turned on without the brain's consent (in the case of a lesbian having sex with a man. Or a gay man having sex with a woman). To argue otherwise is what assholes use to say men cannot be raped. If an ace loves their Allo partner and the allo partner wants to have sex and the ace agrees they can be physically turned on. Especially if they are indifferent to sex.

I meant that aces are not doing what God wants according to the general Christian perspective. I am actually agnostic and by and large very happy with my orientation. I don't think there is a plan for me. But it is what a lot of aces are made to feel. But thank you for your concern.

Oh! The flag thing is actually fairly explicable. It isn't aces being slotted in. It's that what Tumblr has accepted as the "lesbian flag" is actually the "lipstick lesbian" flag. It is widely used on Tumblr, but not really off of it. It is not one that older lesbians generally have outside their homes. And the creator is racist, transphobic, and biphobic. And since it is the lipstick lesbian flag it automatically counts some lesbians out, e.g. butches. It's like calling the bear flag the gay flag. I have been told it can encompass all lesbians but off Tumblr I always see it called the lipstick lesbian flag.

Another note on this. I was discussing the nomenclature of the various flags and my friend who is very involved in the LGBTQ+ community in Canada did not even know the lipstick lesbian flag existed. I am waiting for them to give me more details on that.

Outside of Tumblr most often I see the rainbow flag, sometimes with two interlocking Venus symbols. Sometimes not. There is also a purple one with an axe on it and a black triangle. And just the rainbow one. But none of those is universally agreed on from what I can see.

The rainbow flag is the flag of the movement. It is the one that was created back when it was just "gay and lesbian". Should there be a flag specifically for lesbians and specifically for gay men? Sure! Yeah! There are a few already, but yeah, there should be one widely printed. Why not? If the rainbow flag is supposed to be the movement, you guys should have your own flags too! I actually don't use the rainbow flag for myself because I have always thought of it as the LG flag and I am not in that facet of the community. Even if it is supposed to be a larger symbol it doesn't feel right. I super encourage there being separate gay and lesbian flags because having one is fun and affirming. It sucks that there isn't one widely agreed on, but it isn't aces fault that that isn't the case.

Also an artist friend of mine says that the lipstick lesbian/pink stripey lesbian flag is very hard and expensive to print because it is so many shades of pink. Companies could also be doing it to save money.

Also "lesbian" is not the same as "wlw" or "queer woman", correct. I am less sure about Sapphic. It is somewhat confusing. But a lot of the time the things experienced by lesbians is similar/the same as other wlw. Obviously not all of them and in that case lesbian should be used. I generally see it used, but I am not part of the lesbian community so there could be something I am missing. If it has been forcibly uprooted I would argue again that is not the problem of aces. I do believe you and that I am missing something, but that seems to me to be something that is to be discussed in the wlw community and blame not forced on aces.

Edit: sex favorable is the term for aces who are into the physical act of sex. But there is a helpful summary here. It is not about attraction to a person but enjoying a physical experience.

Edit, edit: thought I had confused "indifferent" and "neutral" but I did not.

Edit, edit, edit: made some changes to flag discussion.

The ace experience has so much in common with the gay/lesbian experience, bi/pan experience, etc. that we can’t not be counted in the community. We face prejudice and judgement. We go through the same growing pains. We are afraid and we want to be proud.

Exclusionism is bullshit. Exclusionists shove their fingers in their ears and refuse to acknowledge that we are far more like them than we are like actual cishet world. They just want someone to bully. That is it. The end. The queer community at large is with us. Exclusionists are bullies and sore losers.