#they could never make me hate you steampunk…

[fearless-fisticuffs]

“mhm!! you’re all cute when your giggly! hehe”

he poked the other’s nose, pressing a kiss to Steam’s forehead

“STEAM! ‘S EVERYTHING OK?”

-> @fearless-fisticuffs

-> Shit. The bull demon's head snapped upwards at the voice, his arm coming up and desperately trying to rub his tears away. He knew he could cry to Coil, but part of him didn't want to be seen as weak. "I'm fine-" -> That was a lie. A massive lie. He wasn't fine and he, at one point, felt lucky that he was the only one left in the boxing ring before the canine demon showed up.

[bookcub]

Chappell Roan Book Rec

like many other, I am currently obsessed with The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess so here are a few book recs based on the songs!!

(you can message me for questions about content warnings!)

Femininomon

A Guest in the House by E. M. Carroll (horror graphic novel)

What happens when you marry a mediocre liar and there's a ghost you are definitely attracted to in the house (that might be his dead wife)?

Relevant lyric: Stuck in the suburbs, you're folding his laundry/Got what you wanted so stop feeling sorry

Bonus Rec: Romancing the Inventor by Gail Carriger (adult steampunk romance)

Red Wine Supernova

Satisfaction Guaranteed by Karelia Stenz-Waters (adult romance)

Imagine inheriting a sex toy shop with a enchanting stranger who you feel incredibly connected to. . .

Relevant lyric: I heard you like magic/I got a wand and a rabbit

Bonus Rec: Sunstone by Stjepan Šejić (adult romance graphic novel)

After Midnight

Ash by Malinda Lo (YA fantasy)

I had to choose a queer Cinderella for this one, especially one whose mother warns her away from the forest at night.

Relevant lyric: This is what I wanted, this is what I like/I've been a good, good girl for a long time now

Bonus Rec: A Restless Truth by Freya Marske (adult historical fantasy, sequel)

Coffee

The Witch's Heart by Genevieve Gornichec (adult fantasy)

When your ex is the trickster god Loki and you have prophetic futures, you know you can never just have coffee.

Relevant lyric: Here come the excuses that fuel the illusions/But I'd rather feel something than nothing at all,

Bonus Rec: Seven Days in June by Tia Williams (adult contemporary)

Casual

The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi (adult gothic)

Remember that toxic homoerotic best friend you had a child? Who believed in magic and was also the most manipulative person you've ever met? It never was a casual relationship, was it?

Relevant lyric: Hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell

Bonus Rec: Ben and Beatriz by Katalina Gamarra (adult romance)

Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl

A Spindle Splintered/A Mirror Mended by Alix E. Harrow (adult fantasy)

Entering the fairy tale multiverse always leads to the strangest (and funnest) relationships (platonic and romantic) of your life.

Relevant lyrics: We're leaving the planet and you can't come

Bonus Rec: Cash Degado is Living the Dream by Tehlor Kay Mejia (adult contemporary)

HOT TO GO!

The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich by Deya Muniz (graphic novel)

What if I dressed up as a count to inherit my father's fortune and you were a princess and we both liked grilled cheese???

Relevant lyric: I could be the one, or your new addiction/ It's all in my head but I want non-fiction

Bonus Rec: Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert

My Kink is Karma

Mrs. Martin's Incomparable Adventure by Courtney Milan (adult historical romance)

She said, let's destroy my terrible nephew's life, and how could you say no to such a romantic proposal?

Relevant lyric: Wishing you the best, in the worst way

Bonus Rec: Girl Serpent Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust (YA fantasy)

Picture You

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall (adult historical romance)

Oops, I faked my death and reinvented myself and you were way more distraught than I thought you would be. . .

Relevant lyric: Do you picture me like I picture you?/Am I in the frame from your point of view?

Kaleidoscope

The Scapegracers by H. A. Clarke (YA urban fantasy)

What if we formed a coven and what if we were all a little in love with each other?

Relevant lyric: And love is a kaleidoscope/How it works we'll never know

Bonus Rec: The Girls I've Been by Tess Sharpe (YA thriller)

Pink Pony Club

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang (graphic novel)

He was a drag queen, she was a seamstress, can I make it anymore obvious?

Relevant Lyric: And I heard that there's a special place/Where boys and girls can all be queens every single day

Bonus Rec: Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo (YA historical)

Naked in Manhattan

Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail by Ashley Herring Blake (adult romance)

Isn't it romantic, designing a house with someone with your entirely opposite tastes?

Relevant lyric: Boys suck and girls I've never tried

Bonus Rec: Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust (YA fantasy)

California

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers (adult contemporary)

If a PhD can't save you, maybe a drunken marriage in Vegas can?

Relevant lyric: Cause I was never told that I wasn't gonna get/The things I want the most

Guilty Pleasure

Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner (adult romance)

Fake dating your boss? 0/10 recommended. . . right?

Relevant lyric: I want this like a cigarette/Can we drag it out and never quit?

Bonus Rec: That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming (adult fantasy romance)

Bonus:

Good Luck, Babe

Sorry, Bro by Taleen Voskuni (adult contemporary)

Relevant lyric: You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie (YA contemporary)

[theoldoor]

oh god their hugs… THEIR HUGGSSS AAARRRGGHHH (beats and punch the wllas and dies) (more rambles down below pls read imsick)

theyre so tender and gentle with one another im actually sick and i want to die and i want them to die and i want them to i want them t

FUCKKK THEYRE NOT EVEN CANON i didnt write for aventurine and fenrir to be canonically together romantically and everything i post about them is literally just me acting like a fellow shipper and as if fenrir was canon “theyre so canon” but i literally wrote them to not be canon this post is just going to be indulgences, headcanons abt them bc i know they wont act like this but please let me have some crumbs im literally yearnmaxxing rn

i know i posted this yesterday but i want to expand more on it because yesterday i was in a rush while making that post RUGHGHUG

you know boothill visits talia every now and then, he’s a galaxy ranger and talia from what i’ve seen is going to be western themed or at least like steampunk/western/rdr2 type shit so he’s going to crash by. Fenrir, is there of course, with Hermia. Fenrir has been taking care of Hermia alone for all the years he had been in Talia - Boothill met Hermia once, and she reminded him a lot of how he was when he was younger but she was left alone unlike him being in the care of Graey and Nick. Boothill knows he shouldn’t get attached to the girl, but she was just a little child, so for the short time he had been there he would come visit Avidity often to check up on her - he does miss his daughter.

Though, he when he returned another time, he saw Fenrir. He hated Fenrir at first, considering his cold-blooded and indifference to the situation Avidity was in at the time. However, he would also see how gentle and caring Fenrir was when it comes to Hermia, and then he sees - Fenrir was a survivor, doing everything to live in Talia - especially in such a rugged clan and yet he didn’t let that overshadow his humanity. It’s a hard thing to accept about Fenrir, how he could be so cruel and yet so caring. He was still inherently bad, even if his reasons explains it - it doesn’t justifies.

I want for boothill and Fenrir to have that father-son relationship and Fenrir is Hermia’s brother. You know a little happy family. (IM FUCKIN SICK I HATE FOUDN FAMILY I HATE FOUND FAMILY I FAHATE TAKHTAHHAHTHE). Fenrir is the ‘cool older brother’ who gets you in silly troubles and is awfully attentive and Aventurine would come in later and keep him in line so that he wouldn’t cause too much silly shits.

I never knew Nick and Graey dynamic, but I guess it’s something of the same. Nick being the one who taught Boothill how to ride horses and yk the outdoorsy stuff while Graey took care of the gentler and more domestic skills for Boothill. (theyre so bestfriends am i right) - I could see Nick being the Fenrir and Graey being the Aventurine lol and Boothill seeing them together- it’s kinda like. Even in the worst, there will be humanity. Aventurine and Fenrir are both inherently bad and had blood on their hand, but that doesn’t mean those same hands can care and heals.

i NEED THEM DEAD and theyre literally just comforting each other and taking care the others sh wounds im going to jumpp and die

fenrir would be the type to do some stupid shit or say something so outrageously idiotic that makes u forget u were supposed to have a panic attack i love them i will expand more on this… tmr’s post….

[ornii]

Hi! Can I request a Gwen platonic imagine where R is a spider person, and becomes liek a younger siblingvfigurdcgo gwen?

I’m gonna assume you mean Miss Stacy, and I have an idea.

My Other Self

What if Gwen met herself?

Alright, let’s do this.. one last time.

My name, is (Y/n) Stacy, I was bitten by a radioactive Spider, and for the last three years I’ve been the one and only Spider-Man.

I’ve beaten the bad guys, almost got the girl.. lost, my dad.. but I never gave up. Even if I get broken and beaten, I dont. Give. Up! I was honestly praying for something more interesting to happen, and I guess you get what you asked for.

(Y/n) Landed on the wall of a building, his costume a deep black with gold lining. And a nice sleeveless white hoodie to boot. He heard a disturbance on the police radio about a, weird looking Rhino. (Y/n) peers over the wall to see the Police dealing with a weird thing. It was a man who looked like he was from the Revolutionary Era. His armor heavy and clanking like a steampunk. Police can’t find a weak spot in his armor.

“Well, looks like this is a job for your friendly neighborhood—“

“SPIDER-MAN!” A scream from a large Screen echoed. None other than J. Jonah Jameson.

“Yeah, Spider-Man!” He swings over and lands on a pole, the rhino turns to the spider. “Pauk!” He screamed, stream bellows from his back panels and Spider-Man drops down.

“Alright big guy, I’ll give you one chance to—“

Rhino charges full force at the Spider-Man who flips out of the way and fire webs at the back of the Rhino’s head, he turns back around and gets more webs in the face. “You really don’t quit, do ya?!” Spider-Man leap into the air, firing webs at the back panels to clog his machine. With a scream he burns off the webs and catches him by the leg and tosses him hard into a wall. The impact cracks a hole in it. He stood up, “Okay.. that felt, weird.”

The Rhino begins to speak but his body falls to one knee, glitching out. “Well that’s new..” Spider-Man moves closer, “Hey.. you okay?” He asked. Rhino swings and he dodges. leaping back Rhino charges in, and Spider-Man fires a flurry of webs at his legs, forcing him to trip. The impact shakes the ground and he begins to web him up. Rhino screams, probably Russian insults, he charges at Spider-Man who leaped into his back as he began to tear through New York. Firing webs on his back he tries to steer him away from hitting people.

Rhino forces his way in front of a mother and child. Spider-Man tries to steer him away. Desperate to save them he struggles, but before tragedy can happen, a web pulls them away. Spider-Man raised an eyebrow at it, a drum solo echoes in his ear as someone else intervenes! He watches an elegant figure leap and swing their way over and land next to him.

“Need a hand?” She asks, he blinks a few times seeing another Spider-Man! “Uh, yeah!” He replies and they both web the Rhino and yank, forcing him to crash though a wall and into something hard. He steam begins to slow down.

“Think we’ve got him now.” The Heroine swings o and they begin to swing around, wrapping rhino like a big metal cocoon. With a kick they knock him down.

“That went better than I thought. Thanks for the help.” She said though her mask and began to log into her watch, Spidwrman was admitted Enamored by someone like him. “Hey… are you, Spider-Man?”

“No, more like Spider, Girl? Gal? Woman? One of those.” She shrugged. “And you’re… from another dimension?”

“Was it that obvious?” She said sarcastically.

“I guess.. just didn’t expect to see anyone like me, dad would have hated having to work two Spider cases.” He tried to make small talk, which actually catches her ear.

“Your.. dad?” She asked, and he nods. “Uh yeah.. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to tell you since you aren’t from like the past or anything, seems Multiverse theory works…” he trails on thinking.

“Can we… talk in private?” She asked, and (Y/n) was a bit worried about what she could ask, but obliged. The two swing away to a rooftop to avoid contact with people, her back to him. “Okay.. do what did you wanna talk about?” He asked, the girl took a deep breath and turned around to face him.

“Is your last name Stacy?” She asked, assuming she had some detailed knowledge, (Y/n) awkwardly nodded. “Uh.. Yeah..” he grips his base and removed his mask. He revealed who he was, and the girl was dumbfounded. “Yeah.. my names Garth Stacy.. or Gary or (Y/n). Middle name.” He explained. “What were you expecting?” He said, the girl gripped hers and removed it, revealing a face oddly identical to his. “Gwen.”

The two come to a realization.

“You’re.. me.” They said to each other.

“Nice haircut.” He smiled at Gwen who felt the side cut. “A friend helped me with it.” She replied. “You look.. older.” She smiled back.

“Yeah, college does that to you.” He chimes in. “So.. how’s dad?” Gwen asks.

Gwen and (Y/n), now wearing their masks again stare at a gravestone reading “Here lies George Stacy; Proud Father, Honorable Officer.” Gwen had a somber look in her eyes, so did (Y/n). “He died protecting a kid from rubble when I fought Shocker.. I haven’t been able to forgive myself.” He stares at the headstone for what seems to be forever. “I don’t have any family now. Just me. Is your Dad okay?”

“Things are.. kinda complicated between us.” Gwen explained, and leaned against him. “You got me, and all the other me’s and you’s around. you aren’t alone.” Gwen looked up at him, he saw his mom in her, and a little bit of dad stubborn but honest love, and he couldn’t help but smile.

Six Months Pass and (Y/n) is sitting at a desk, writing for his college thesis listening to music, bobbing his head.

“I just came to my senses

I stay in another dimension

Fear is non-existent

Suit up and swing through the city

Annihilate, I'm wide awake, be very afraid

I'm in my own world, give me space

I'm in my own universe, give me space

“Weezy Carter, I'm 'bout to go Peter Parker

I'm Spider-Man, if he ain't me, he just a creepy crawler”

“Tunechi spark the lighter, pull up in a new Ferrari spider Spider web necklace with the diamonds She'll turn to Spider-Woman if I bite her.”

I will not go back and forth with you

I see you got the black widow with you

You should've had a black hero with you

I get an opp-arachnophobia”

“I've been litty since I flicked the lighter

Since I was an itsy bitsy spider

They've been tryna wash the spider out

I got spiders crawlin' out your mouth, Spider-Verse!”

“(Y/n)…. (Y/n)…” Gwen calls out, you sense something and look up, a portal has opened up, making the knick knacks on your desk float.

“You got a minute?”

“For my sister? Anything.”

He scoots back and Gwen elegantly lands on his bed. “So.. I talked to Miguel.” She starts.

“Okay?” He raised an eyebrow, leaning forward. “And.. he said yes!” She shows him a watch device like she had. “You’re the newest member of the Spider Society.~” in a sing song tune, he took it, looking at it like it’s gold. He put it on his wrist and gleamed at Gwen.

“This is.. amazing.” He looked up at her, “The look on your face tells me that this isn’t the only thing you wanna tell me.. dad always had that look.” He leaned back, and Gwen’s face pouts just slightly. “Okay.. so, this might be a dumb question but.. have. You ever had a friend that you, really liked, as a friend of course! And.. well, in every universe Spider-Man always seems to fall for a Stacy.. and in every universe..” Gwen said and (Y/n) knew what she was going to say.

“It never ends well, does it?” He said, she looked down, as if she was expecting a more hopeful response. He didn’t want to break her heart. But, maybe things can be different. “But.. there’s always a first time for everything. Let me guess, can’t get him out your mind.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.” (Y/n) tried to hide his laugh, as Gwen rolls her eyes. The Police scanner goes off and they hear the report.

“Armed Robbery at 107th and Landing.”

“Guess you came at the right time, left your toothbrush here.” (Y/n) stands up to go grab his costume, Gwen turns around. “Oh, I did didn’t I?”

“And your sweater, Converse, weird blanket, dance shoes.”

“Okay okay I clean up.” Gwen folds her arms smiling. “Hey.. you can stay as long as you want, it’s good to have family here.” (Y/n) steps in front of her, and puts the mask on. With zero hesitation they leap out of the window, swinging over to the next adventure.

[the-path-to-redemption]

I know you hate canon Yang but do you think she and Mercury could at one point bond over having been messed up by a parent that made them base their worth on their strength?

....Long Post Ahead

Anon let me tell you-

I fucking hate that people now believe Adam was Yang's foil because the writers fucked up. No, he's not. He's Blake's foil; they share the same story, and the same past, and everything about them was supposed to be linked together down to their fairy tale allusion. Whatever came out of making him and Yang rivals are bullshit ass-pulls.

Mercury was designed to be her foil; he has a grey monotone color palette and a very low-key, cyberpunk-esque fashion while Yang is in a warm-tone, bright-colored palette with a steampunk style that sets her out from others visually. She's mostly a boxer, while he's focused on kick-based combat. Mercury doesn't have a semblance and has to rely on his own skills, and Yang relies TOO much on hers and it becomes her double-edged sword.

Mercury has a terrible father and no mother, suffering alone in a home that took everything from him and forced him to kill. Yang might not have Raven, but she has a loving family who cares for her even when they're not perfect. Everything about them was set up to be a narrative of two people who could very easily become the other had the circumstances of their lives been different, but their actions had also led them to this point and they have to take control of their future now that a new chapter begin.

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, should have changed this aside from the fact that MK and CRWBY are fucking stupid enough to make Yang wedge into a narrative that she DOES not give a fuck about even though she supposedly cares about Blake and her causes, but never fucking does anything for the Faunus or even talk to Blake about her goals for them. It muddles their characters (Yang, Blake, Mercury, and Adam) because now the writers have to make dumbass fucking reasons for Yang and Adam to fight each other when Mercury and Blake are right fucking there.

I made a post about this subject before here and the same sentiment still stands. I fucking hate it here.

[satanfemme]

one of my petty pet-peeves is when people decide to name niche aesthetics AND/OR discoursey micro-identities that have nothing to do with the actual punk scene as "[word]-punk". like u are not punk. you are just a 19 year old who longs for pinterest comments sections. the sanctity of the punk label may be long dead but the label you're coining is notably lame and corny regardless.

except for "steampunk". steampunk can stay. you're more than an aesthetic. to me. they could never make me hate you steampunk. I don't care.

[enterrandomname]

The Cannibal and The Man

Hannibal x Male Reader

Warning: Reader ‘kills’ Hannibal, Reader has bad taste in clothing, consuming a liver, And more…

Word Count: 990 words

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

——————✧◦♚◦✧——————⋆

Your eyes fluttered open as your heart pounded against your chest. The memory of Hannibal's wound was still fresh in your mind. You needed to find a way out; you needed to escape the clutches of your captor, who held you captive for so long. A knock on the door startled you. Getting dressed in simple attire, you prepared a fake smile before opening the door.

You didn't know if you wanted to be offended by what Hannibal had said. This is usually what you wore whenever you were still living in your house, even when you weren't there. "What do you want me to wear, then?" You said, finding the floor interesting enough to look at, but you never liked making eye contact with the people you spoke with as it made you uncomfortable.

Hannibal looked at you for a moment, as if figuring out what would look good on you. You could see a lightbulb go on over Hannibal's head as the man immediately left the room. You stood there dumbfounded, not understanding what had just happened.

Dear God, just let it be something good, they thought, hoping that it wasn't anything terrible. A few minutes went by as Hannibal returned with a (F/C) medieval steampunk tailcoat and black pants that went with it.

You looked at Hannibal to see if he was joking or trying to get you to laugh.

Hannibal only stared at you with a little smile on his face. "I am NOT wearing that!" you yelled, staring at it with a look of anger. You didn't want to be walking around wearing something weird. You hate to admit that it would be something you would probably wear.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, fixing the collar of your (F/C) tailcoat. "It doesn't look too bad," you whispered to yourself. You closed your eyes and placed a hand on your cheek before slapping yourself, making sure it wasn't a dream. Opening your eyes, you were met with your reflection and your deceased parents staring at you. They stared back at them before turning around, just to see that their imagination was playing tricks on them.

Suddenly, your body twitched. You never understood why it did that. All you knew was that it was embarrassing whenever someone saw your body jerk. You looked around the room, making sure no one saw that. I must've been seeing things, you thought, looking back at the mirror to see your parents gone.

You were glad that Hannibal had left to go run some errands. Maybe this time you could come up with a plan to get away from this place. You could finally be alone and not be in the same room as a cannibal. You could finally be left alone. The house was quiet and peaceful, just the way you liked it. You felt all their worries slowly disintegrate into nothingness.

A smile appeared on your face. You exited the room and walked around, hearing nothing but your footsteps.

Thud

Thud

Thud

Thud

You had hoped that Hannibal would take his time and arrive later in the evening. You were clearly enjoying yourself alone, with nothing but the ghosts of your parents haunting you. You soon came to a stop as you stood in the kitchen. Your fingers twitched as you glanced at a knife rack. Your mind began to drift someplace else...

⋆——————✧◦♚◦✧——————⋆

You gripped your knife as you stood over Hannibal's sleeping body. With both hands, you raised your knife before plunging it deep into the cannibal's chest, stabbing the heart. Your eyes dilated as you watched the red liquid trickle down Hannibal's chest. You could see the blood staining his shirt, creating a dark red patch. You grunted as they pulled out the knife from the body before stabbing it once again in Hannibal's abdomen. Your breathing got heavier and heavier as you watched blood begin to ooze out.

Not once did you imagine yourself in this type of situation. You grabbed your knife and stabbed Hannibal once again before sliding it to the stomach. You got rid of the excess skin before grabbing the liver. You brought the liver close to your lips as if you were going to kiss it, but soon dropped it as if you thought of the idea again.

You looked at the floor and spotted the liver. You lifted your boot and stepped on it, watching as tiny pieces of the liver spread across the floor. You knelt down and swiped some of the pieces onto your finger before placing it in your mouth, savoring the taste.

"Hm..."

Licking your bottom lip, you stood back up. You stared at the cannibal's motionless body, and a smile formed as you finally achieved what you had been waiting for.

⋆——————✧◦♚◦✧——————⋆

A shaky breath escaped from your lips, and your eyes were still trained on the knife rack that was on the countertop. It was as if the knives were mocking you, laughing at you for being so weak. You soon realized that it was all but an imagination��a dream you had thought of.

You couldn't help but feel miserable that it wasn't true. The other side of your brain kept telling you to escape. To flee! But the other side kept telling you to accept the fact that you were trapped here. Your head was hurting, and you felt like the whole world was spinning around.

You took a wobbly step, extending your arms to try and balance yourself. Images of your parents popped into your head; you pictured their black, empty eyes staring deep into your (E/C) ones. Falling to the ground due to the dizziness, you laid there defeated. Your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier with every second that passed.

You couldn't help but close them, as you were unable to keep them open for so long.

The sound of a door opening was the last thing you heard.

[camelspit]

PICK THE WOMAN THAT YOU WANT ELIMINATED!!

Master Cadence by @tw-5

Umber by @chronically-ill-psionipath

Tinker by @thefoxysnake

Esha Aria by @camelspit

Lady Galvin by @an-ungraceful-swan

Note! Definition of a sexywoman:

According to the sexywomanpedia, a sexywoman is "a character who shows the 'lanky suitman villain' tropes, is popular with wlw, and/or is highly divisive." Some factors to consider are morality (or lack thereof), overall mysteriousness, and strength (physical or abilitywise.)

Propaganda:

Master Cadence:

"she’s a linguist. she’s a woman in stem. she’s tired of everyone’s bullshit. she’s fruity as hell. her house is cool as fuck (a howls moving castle style boat-thing made of metal that she built herself because she didn’t want to live in the elven cities???? come on). she’s a MASTER. what more could you want." @let-them-sing-of-others

"she’s an academic. shes smarter than u. she hates on the council and she’s RIGHT. she hates sophie actually you know what she has a hater complex but in a hot way. i love her yr honour." @necromycologist

"she spent YEARS researching on ogres and their culture. idk about you, but i would try keeping her in my good graces because she KNOWS ABOUT DEADLY POISON. WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS. I WOULD SHIT MYSELF IF I CAME ACROSS HER IN REAL LIFE EVEN IF IT WAS IN A GROCERY STORE ON A RANDOM TUESDAY AND SHE WAS BUYING OREOS. FOR ALL WE KNOW, SHE COULD HAVE LOADS OF THAT IN HER HOUSE/ON HER PERSON!!" @corruption-exe

"ok not to be a lesbian or horny on main (<- ace) but HOLY SHIT i want her to step on me. this lady has intensified my sexuality crisis" (anonymous)

Umber:

"Shes an evil hot powerful shade that got killed in the book she got introduced in what more could you want" @thefoxysnake

"Umber (Redacted) is one of the women in the series that isn’t JUST psychological manipulator! She also fought! She broke bones (if I remembered correctly) and messes with everyone’s minds without even revealing her true name! She has a boyfriend! A BOYFRIEND. TRIX. She went through something ‘the incident’ (mentioned in the latest book) and joined the Neverseen! She got Trix, her Pookie to be in the Neverseen as well 🥺. You can tell she was also a good lover how Trix was so sad over her death. KEEP IN MIND SHE DIED BEING CRUSHED, so for those who likes angst; there you go. She died in her mission. She was Tam’s mentor and an EXCELLENT fighter if I do say so myself. Who wouldn’t vote Umber? A girlboss with a sweet boyfriend and has murderous tendencies? 😔🎉 Vote for Umber PLEASE! I’M BEGGING YOU! PLSPLSPLSPLS 😭😭" @chronically-ill-psionipath

Tinker:

"she's trans! she's autistic! she's a mad scientist! she's everything you could possibly want in a woman!!!!!" @gay-otlc

"shes a mad genius she built a mad science castle she invented steampunk literally why would you not love her" @necromycologist

Esha Aria:

"shes sooo funny guys. she fucked with the system to get some dick and almost got away with it. she chose that dick over her daughter. she may be exiled but at least she has her man. morals and consequences mean nothing!!!" @camelspit

Lady Galvin:

"She's one of the greatest alchemists there ever was, and yet no one recognizes her for her talents. She's surrounded by people who will never understand or appreciate her, and because of that she tries to make their life hell. She has no ambitions, no future, no goal, and yet she doesn't break. She wears her cool ass capes and rules over detention with an iron fist, desperately searching for the control she lost when she realized her job wasn't up to her. She's an evil supergenius stuck in a children's school." @lizzie-dude

[knaveofmogadore]

My mom was really weird in the sense that she'd be totally fine with a variety of bizarre expressions of individuality and neurodivergences, but every once in a while she'd latch onto something I knew was monumentally stupid and she'd make it the only thing she cared about for months, sometimes YEARS.

Like, ugh, the gloves. I had that anxiety tick that makes you pick at your skin, but in a really gross way, like I had divots on my palms. To hide this from my classmates, I wore fingerless gloves religiously, one of my favourite pairs looked like this:

Mom hated these. Like, she REALLY hated these, in the visceral, unexplainable way that makes people do things like key their ex's car. I was a very goth and alt child, I went through a full Lolita phase under her roof, I wore steampunk goggles and petticoats to school, but for whatever reason she just could NOT abide by the gloves.

She'd search my bag. She'd confiscate them if I tried to wear them out of the house. She'd search my pockets! At one point she even called the school asking the guidance counselor to personally pass around warnings to police my glove use. When she approached me, the conversation went about like this;

"your mother just called me."

"Oh?"

"She said you're not supposed to be wearing those."

"Ok."

"She thinks they're a dress code violation."

"uh huh."

"They're not."

"I know."

This was one in a long list of things my mom did over the years to make teachers hate me, but honestly no one paid attention or cared, because despite (in her eyes) dressing like an un-approachable freak, I never once violated the creepily detailed dress code (unless you count that time I was told to avoid wearing knife adjacent earrings in the future, but my holes closed up anyway)

What finally made it stop was that I got a DOCTOR'S NOTE FROM OUR FAMILY DOCTOR, CLASSIFYING THE GLOVES AS A COMFORT OBJECT, and I got to give that to the guidance counselor who already didn't care

The picking didn't stop until highschool, when I got to get my first big chop, which my mom keeps braided up in a box in her vanity still, even though I'm 25 and have had some form of a shaven head for 8 years

[autisticempathydaemon]

hi, i was hoping to do one of the redacted matchup thingies, they’re so fun :) I’M SO SORRY THIS IS A PAGE LONG AAAAGH

i’m just gonna lead with the miscellaneous stuff (WOW i spelled that without spell check. didn’t know i could do that.) i’m a young adult bi dude. apparently i’m quiet but snarky and people say my humor is very dry (i have a monotone voice and am Very Committed To The Bit.). i used to have really bad anger issues to the point that davey pre-character arc is more relatable than he should be (even though my parents are alive. they’re just shit). i try to dress kinda grungy? but also whatever’s cozy/comfortable and in neutral/dark colors (except red! i like red, my hair is dyed neon red) i used to have cptsd so bad i basically didn’t leave the house for two years. i think it was like agoraphobia or something? there were delusions in there too. i’m much better now though.

usually the kind of stuff i listen to is loud angry rock music (fave song is hysteria by muse) or slightly older pop music (florence and the machine, MARINA) but the last few days i’ve been on a newer pop kick and i’ve been playing “Good Luck, Babe!” by chappell roan on repeat and it makes me want to scream on a windswept seaside cliff during a storm. specifically the bit from 2:15 to ~3:10 in the song. i know it’s a banger when it makes me want to scream on a cliff or punch something.

INTP? is that an enneagram? (“you’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice?”-sounding sentence, sorry)

not really video essays but i love listening to someone summarize books i never plan to read (i like the ones by cari can read or lexi aka newlynova.)

i didn’t have an imaginary friend? i’m incredibly autistic + adhd so i was daydreaming constantly to a near maladaptive extent but i never had One Consistent Thing that i thought was real.

i have to mash my face into the pillow for a bit to decompress and then i can sleep how i normally do, sleeping on my side in a way that’s probably very bad for my shoulders. (i am an adult dude and i hold a stuffed bunny who i haven’t given a name every night to go to sleep. maybe ill name the bunny after whatever character you give me)

my name is stolen from the love interest of a YA steampunk novel (a young victorian gentleman who wears eyeliner), because his character description just fits me so well, as well as the name itself just looking cool written down

my fave audio is probably the smash bros tournament :D. it literally convinced me to buy the game lol

it’s a good thing i’m anonymous cause i just do not get the gavin or caelum hype. i’m too possessive to date an incubus/ someone who will fuck other people. and i hate children so caelum is just past my threshold for kid-esque behavior that i’m willing to deal with. i’m also really not a fan of the yanderes/evil ones. other people can go ahead and like them, they just stress me out more which is the opposite of what i want.

knives out :D. the detective movie

i would friend the HELL out of asher. i just wanna play games with the man that’s all i ask

i don’t really get food at gas stations but whenever i go to a cafe i am probably getting something strawberry related (lemonade, a smoothie, etc) and a breakfast sandwich

the playlist “songs to get obliterated by a black hole to” is my pride and joy. i fucking love space and sci fi (that’s the thing i’d ramble about too)

my guilty pleasure media is the official gender-swapped twilight (puts my head in my hands) I KNOW.

I sent an anon for matchup earlier (I mentioned a stuffed bunny) and said I didn’t know what an enneagram was and I just looked it up and did a quiz and apparently I’m type 6? Idk how accurate that is but there you go (also I’m sorry if I was trauma dumping/oversharing I was restless from being inside all day whoopsie)

I’m a sucker for a good black cat/golden retriever sort of pairing, you know? Tack that onto you being a Type Six, and I’ve just got to pair you with Huxley!

Type Sixes are characterized by a desire for stability and security, for dependability, and who’s more reliable than Huxley? This also works with your self-described possessive nature in that Huxley would be the best partner to never trigger that nature, to never make you doubt or toe your boundaries. I also love him for you because we know Huxley canonically is a calming, relieving presence in the face of anger and conflict, which makes him even more perfect for you! (Also I think your grunge fashion sense would contrast so cutely with his casual, gym-bro style.)

Huxley would be so fun to be with! He’s no Asher, but he’d be a great gaming buddy, happy to show you all the Smash tips and tricks for when he introduces you to his family. Speaking of family, Huxley’s moms would just adore you for making their son happy. I can see him taking you to the east coast to meet them and taking you on the hiking and camping trails of his youth. It’d be a lovely time of you showing him the stars and constellations at night and maybe even him finding a cliff for you to sing Chappell Roan off of.

Song:

And I hold you every night/ And that's a feeling I wanna get used to/ But there's no man as terrified/ As the man who stands to lose you/ Oh, I hope I don't lose you

It was so fun to look for a pop-rock song that would make you want to scream or punch something, and I hope this fits the bill. The first chorus extremely hits on top of being a beautiful love song, and I think it wouldn’t be out of place on a road trip with Huxley in the driver’s seat or by a gorgeous cliffside.

Runner-ups:

Aaron and Sam are your runner-ups for a lot of similar reasons. They both also have drier senses of humor, so I think you could vibe and hold to a bit with either of them. I headcanon both of them wearing red often (Sam, a red-checked flannel and Aaron, a red polo a la his thumbnails), so you could match. I also headcanon both of them actively wanting to be child-free, so you’d be compatible in that aspect. Aaron outranks Sam just slightly because I think he’d offer more stability and security given his occupation and Unempowered status.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[victorckk]

PLEASE DRAW X-2 AND CASIMIR 😻

This has been in my drafts ever since you first sent it I apologize ong,, have not had the energy or motivation to draw lately

Tried to draw X-2’s helmet from memory,,, -1000 HP

Okay so on a more serious note, this actually made me realize that I NEVER made a design for Casimir’s D.D AU, so this counts as an answer to your ask AND an info post.

Yippee!

I have never seen the show so… take his backstory and information with a grain of salt? I’m hoping I didn’t get anything wrong or nothing, that would be EMBARRASSING !!!!

I did change his backstory though, so uh.. he’s no longer Queen Tyr’ahnee’s son.

———————

Basically the general idea for the DD!Casimir AU is that his home planet was destroyed by the Martian Empire (with the help of the other planet’s Empires), and he was taken in and raised by the monarch(s) at the time. He was given the name Phe’tulente, which is pronounced as petulant.

They only took him in because he was the only Saturnian who was royalty and young, but for reasons I can’t exactly mention (because they’re not kid friendly).

He and Tyr’ahnee are sibling-like rivals who are constantly fighting over the throne; Phe’tulente hates the Martian Empire for destroying his planet and eliminating his kind, and Tyr’ahnne despises Phe’tulente for always trying to destroy her empire from the inside out.

The two grew up together and were actually raised as siblings, but Phe’tulente was less respected and loved, because he was seen as weaker than Tyr’ahnee. They used to be very close, almost like twins; Tyr’ahnee thought it was unfair that he was treated the way he was, but Phe’tulente didnt pay attention to it and just assumed that everybody hated him. They did care about each other, but it didn’t last.

He was banished after Tyr’ahnee became Queen, and at one point he ended up faking a relationship with General Z-9 to get information from him about the Empire. The two worked together to overthrow the Empire, but for entirely different reasons.

As for his relationship with X-2… haha. Well, let’s just say that they have a love/hate relationship. They grew up together and X-2 can understand where Phe’tulente is coming from, but he also can’t abandon his Empire. Phe’tulente on the other hand, might have developed a bit of a crush on X-2, but he doesn’t like to talk about it much to keep up his Anti-Martian facade.

It’s obvious whenever he starts stumbling over his own feet and starts spewing words out of order from talking too fast whenever he’s around X-2, though. And Tyr’ahnee makes sure to tease him for it like the insufferable jerk she is.

———————

I also did a bit of research for the planet and the mythology of the Roman god to sort of get an idea of how his own Empire might’ve been like back on Saturn.

Saturn was mostly known as the God of time and agriculture it seems, so I was thinking that the Saturnian Empire may have followed the Steampunk aesthetic, but they also probably had a bunch of plants and whatnot as well to fit the agricultural theme too. So.. maybe something more like the Arcadia level in Bioshock (which is a favorite game series of mine).

I know I designed DD!Casimir’s parents not too long ago and they looked like moths, but I’m thinking that they could also be based on honey bees. The only reason Casimir looks more Martian-like in every AU is because his body adapted to Mars’ warmer environment, as compared to Saturn’s colder environment.

[mechanical-hellhound]

the robot tried to keep up with the fact he was being dragged pretty quickly by the bull— trying not to scrape his boots on the ground too hard and damage them, it was amused by how excited Steampunk was

a certain someone runs in, looking around frantically for Steampunk

-> @mechanical-hellhound

-> Steam looks up from wrapping bandages around his hands, his eyes widening a little when he noticed who was coming towards him. "Bud? What's wrong?"

[auxiliarydetective]

If you could form a crew out of any one piece character from any media consisting on ten people, who would you chose and why?

Now that I have more or less calmed down from the boop war, here we go!

You want me to make a One Piece crew out of 10 people from different media, right? I'm gonna give myself the little rule that I'm only allowed to take one character per fandom, otherwise my crew might end up being, like, half LXG or something. Also, another thing I'll be taking into account is how well the characters I'd pick would do in the world of One Piece because some people would just not have a good time there. And we're assuming that everyone gets more or less isekai-ed into the OP world, so they're not taking any technology stuff or fandom-specific powers with them (sadly). SO! Here we go!

Every crew needs...

A captain

A navigator

A doctor

A chef

A carpenter/shipwright

... and would benefit from having...

A swordsman

A gunslinger/sniper

A helmsman

fun people

10 people you say? Alright, here are my picks!

The Captain

You might not know who this is, but I pick Lukas from the Jim Knopf und Lukas der Lokomotivführer series.

(no gifs, how sad...)

Why? Because a good captain needs to have leadership qualities. People need to trust them and they need to be able to hold the crew together. And Lukas can definitely do that. Also, he can kick ass if he wants to. Generally, I think he'd thrive in the world of One Piece. And he knows a thing or two about fixing steam engine locomotives, so... Submarine pirate ship??? Steampunk-esque? Even if not, I'm convinced he could figure out how to work on a regular pirate ship as well. He's an engineer, he'll figure it out. Also also we need someone to babysit the rest of the crew and he is Dad™

The Navigator

So, this was actually tough, but then it hit me: DATA! MY BELOVED!

Someone let Data go to the world of One Piece, he would love it! And he would make for an excellent navigator, so his spot here is very deserved. Lukas can teach him about humanity and the beauty of life - they'd be such a perfect duo. Also, can definitely kick ass. And probably fix a ship. Also would hate the World Government despite the fact that he "has no emotions".

The Doctor

Some of you might call me stupid for this, but I picked none other than Doctor Henry Jekyll. His LXG version specifically.

LXG Henry is actually a medical doctor, as suggested by most scenes he's in, and he's got Hyde for when he needs to kick ass. I feel like he'd do well in the world of One Piece once he gets used to it. And the fact that he's a Victorian era doctor is actually helpful because the One Piece world doesn't have modern-day medical equipment widely available but that won't bother Henry because he never had it to begin with. Also he could probably mix together some substances to give his crew a strength boost once he gets over his guilt and fear of creating another HJ7. Also also I think talking to Lukas and/or Data would fix him.

The Chef

My pick would have to be Louis LeBeau from Hogan's Heroes.

I was originally considering Julieta Madrigal from Encanto, but LeBeau especially probably knows how to work with limited or sub-par rations and that's very helpful as a pirate. Also, he's small, so there's less space for the anger to go - which is bad news for the World Government, the Marines, and any hostile pirate crews.

The Carpenter/Shipwright

Okay, hear me out: Justus Jonas.

I think he could do it. My man knows how to tinker, he can probably work out how to fix a ship and have fun with it. It would be a challenge for his mind to learn it, which he would appreciate, and just generally the social climate of this little pirate crew I'm building would be good for him. Multiple parental figures, fellow autistic people... Fantastic! He'd get along with Data, right? Right??? Probably. And I'm convinced he could kick ass if he wanted to.

The Swordsman

At first I was a bit stuck with who to put here. I considered my beloved Diego Hargreeves (for the "get loved on, idiot" of it all) but then it hit me. We need the swordsman of all time... We need Link!

If Link is mute, that's not even a problem. Data will teach him sign language in no time. Easy! Just... don't let him into the kitchen.

The Gunslinger / Sniper

Okay, hear me out on this... My pick is the one and only Templeton "Faceman" Peck. Could technically be either the 80s or 2010 version since both have the potential to be silly, but the 80s version just fits in better here.

I mean, look at him! Tell me he wouldn't get along with the likes of Sanji. Also, he needs to see Momoiro Island, for reasons. I feel like a lot of people don't know that Face is the main sniper of the A-Team but he is! And his con-man abilities are a HUGE added bonus.

The Helmsman

This position was the first I filled and it has to go to the one and only Gordon Malloy.

Gordon can fly anything, so I'm convinced he could 100% learn how to steer a ship too. After all, we're in the world of One Piece. Not all ships are steered with steering wheels. And especially if it's actually a submarine this crew is on, it might have controls more similar to ones he's familiar with. Fighting-wise, I actually don't know if he'd be any good. He's a wild card. But I am convinced that he'd have a devil fruit, because my man has a history of eating things he's not supposed to because they look fun/tasty. He probably would kick ass with that devil fruit since he has the imagination needed to make it work.

Now, since I still have two spots left on my crew, time for...

Fun people!

Fun person #1 has to be George Luz.

He's here for the chaos, and I'm here for that. Him in combination with any of the people on this list is what I want to see. Silliest of all silly geese.

And for te tenth person... I honestly don't know! You know, just for the hell of it, get one of the Hargreeves siblings in here. Actually, this spot belongs to Diego, simply because he got beaten out of the swordsman spot by Link.

One sentence: Get loved on, idiot! That's why he's there.

There we go! That's it! This was really fun :)

(I don't have the energy to proofread this, I hope you don't mind)

[kmlaney]

WIP questionnaire

tagged by @coffeewritesfiction and I am so sorry to take this long on a reply. Thanks for the tag!

Tagging @fallenscintilla (if you want! No pressure!) and @waywardwizzard and anyone who wants to!

1. What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

The very first line was: “D’ya think I care how it tastes?” I posted an edited version here. There's a snip of the original here.

For the record, it started as a character background for a TTRPG. In fact, it wasn’t even going to be the character I was going to play. Harrowed (undead/revenant) gunfighter? *eyeroll* Too cliché. I even made a homebrew archetype to play: a “spiritualist” in the late 1800’s sense. But that first line kept bugging me so I figured, okay. Fine. I’ll write this one scene and then work on my spiritualist. 

Yeah. No. I never played the spiritualist.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I did all the fan stuff for Phil and Skyfallen, like playlists, faceclaims, all of that. I never did that before. I selected music for the theoretical TV show: main theme, a rotating list of outro/credits roll music, pieces for certain kinds of scenes. So if Skyfallen were a TV series, this would be the theme:

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

That’s like asking which of my pets was my favorite. I love them all. I guess I loved Phil enough to make them the viewpoint character. They’re a more-mature version of the kind of character I wrote when I was a kid, now with serious problems I can explore as an adult. I like Phil’s father, whom I was determined to fridge in the beginning because fridging is usually a female character. Ha Ha! Then I went and gave him a character arc that could only end in his death so he’s not fridged after all. 

I like Travelling Sam for being a conniving, money-grubbing jerk, but he’s fun to write. I like Eva as Carnival Mom; Maury for being a flamboyant, fun-to-be-around person hiding a serious drinking problem that everyone knows about. I like Doc Butcher for his name, for actually being trained as a vet but caring about everyone, and trying to do his best when he’s in over his head because he can’t do nothing. 

I like Maker Lewis for his change of heart, though he was already on the fence and just needed a shove. And I like Miss Warren for being a nosy reporter whom Phil doesn’t want to like but ends up liking anyway. She also lets me play at muckraking reporter. Choosing words to specifically slant a piece is a load of fun.

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

Skyfallen has its roots in Westerns, so people who like cinematic westerns are a potential fanbase. I include horror, steampunk, and gothic elements, so if your venn diagram of interests includes those things then it might be for you. 

Things I like that influenced or feel like this story: Silverado, The Magnificent Seven, RIPD 2 Rise of the Damned (movies. I hate to admit that last one but it was fun). Deadlands (TTRPG game. I created Phil for this setting). The Dark Tower novels--primarily Wizard and Glass but any of the parts dealing with Roland’s world. 

There is zero romance. Phil’s ace, there is no main love interest, and anyone who gets together does so very off-screen. 

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

When writing the draft, the individual scenes flew out of my brain. I could hardly write them fast enough. In deep editing, though, it’s the big-picture stuff I find challenging. Which themes do I want to emphasize and which are less important? Do I really need all this buildup or should I start later? I need to show certain things so the later ones make sense, but that makes it even longer. It’s already very long; shouldn’t I be cutting things down? Argh. It's frustrating.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

There are animals. Most are utilitarian: Horses, dogs, cats, chickens, cows. There are monsters also (for certain values of “monster”) all along the continuum from “non-sapient animal” through to “self-aware human intelligence.” 

The way they figure into the story is more interesting. In life, Phil liked animals in general and had a special fondness for horses and mules. After dying and coming back reanimated, animals can’t stand to be around them. Phil doesn’t figure it out right away, and it hurts when they do.

7. How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

For the area the characters are in for the bulk of the story, most people walk, ride horses, or ride in wagons, carts, or coaches pulled by horses or teams of horses. There are a couple of trains but they are rare. In other areas, trains are common, as are ferries and lake boats. Airships exist; they are novelties and considered simultaneously luxurious and dangerous. In larger cities, along with the horse-drawn vehicles, people have bicycles, rickshaws, pedal-powered rickshaws, and palanquins. Automatons in a variety of configurations may be subbed in for horses or people in any of those conveyances. 

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

I’ve identified some specific foreshadowing that needs to happen. So I need to add that in. There are a few names that aren’t consistent; they’re flagged so I can fix them. I need to put in a few encounters so later ones make sense. It’s not exactly foreshadowing so much as worldbuilding. So editing stuff.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

I have a hard time identifying tropes in my work, probably because I’m in the trees, so to speak, and can’t see the forest. Or groves, to push the metaphor. Having said that, here’s an attempt:

Portal/isekai

Found family

Unlikely group of heroes

Humans can be evil; monsters can be sympathetic

Religion, Magic, and cults 

Monsters dwelling among humans

Enemies to not-friends (don’t push your luck)

Things get worse

Everyone has secrets

Lost memories, memory tampering

Weird West

Steampunk and Gothic Horror

Gunslinger/trick shot

Noble Demon/antihero

Good is not nice

I did come up with one of those taglines that you might see on the bottom of the cover of a book: 

“Every Skyfallen has something they want to forget. And everyone in the Mistlands is Skyfallen.”

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

Originally I was hoping for traditional publishing. I might still try to go that way. I’m also looking into self-pub, and websites that host serial stories. I think this story fits better into a serial format than a traditional book format. I need to make it more coherent (hence editing phase)

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Shock Diamond

Boo!

Pairing: Mostly Platonic DLAMPR, bit of analogical in the beginning

Word count: 1015

Warnings: none this is pure fluff

Notes: Part of my Metaphysical Determinism verse!

for @i-cant-find-a-good-username over on my patreon!

thank you to @the-inky-isles for beta-reading!

---

“Dearest,” said Logan plaintively.

“No,” said Virgil, crossing his arms and leaning bodily back from Logan’s front door. “You sounded way too excited for me to open the door and that means explosions and that means no way, no how, nuh-uh for me, no thank you.”

Logan, who could recognize that Virgil was mostly being dramatic for comedic effect to alleviate his own anxiety, sighed fondly.

“Virgil,” he laughed, “please come into the house.”

“You’ll never take me alive.”

“You are small enough,” said Logan idly, “I might be able to bodily carry you.”

Virgil snorted.

“You can barely carry your half of the groceries.”

“I would hardly describe it as ‘my half,’” replied Logan, “I get perhaps three kinds of instant meal and condiments. Except for whatever vegetables you manage to sneak into my bags, since you so passionately prefer them to rot in my crisper rather than yours.”

“You’re supposed to eat them, L!”

“Come in,” said Logan, barely holding back a grin, “and you can make me eat one of the vegetables.”

Virgil glared for several seconds before aggressively throwing his hands in the air.

“Fine, fine! In we go to the death trap.” he groused, walking under Logan’s arm as Logan opened the door.

“SURPRISE!”

“Aaaaaaaa!” Virgil screamed, diving behind Logan.

“While I would not characterize it as ‘deadly,’ yes, it was a trap,” laughed Logan, moving Virgil around in front of him. “Happy Birthday, dearest.”

“I hate you all,” said Virgil, a lacework of hysterical laughter flirting around the edges of his voice, “you bastards.”

“I told you he’d hate the yelling,” scolded Patton playfully.

“That’s what makes it fun!” said Remus, bounding over to pull Virgil toward the wall of clothing Virgil was staring at, wide-eyed.

“It’s not a true birthday party unless you hate it just a little bit,” said Roman sagely, “like putting salt on chocolate.”

“What is all of this?” said Virgil incredulously, running his hands over the soft black fabrics that lined the wall.

“We pooled in on one present!” said Patton, bouncing over and wrapping his arm around Virgil’s and hugging him. “We rented as many black costumes as the costume shop would let us.”

“The intention is that you’re going to treat us like lifesize dolls,” said Devin dryly, “so you wouldn't have to have all the attention on you. But if you would rather perform a fashion show of one, we will of course enjoy it just as well.”

“No way,” said Virgil, shuddering a little even as he was grinning, “but I will absolutely have a hell of a time dressing all of you up. I need pompous royal shit for Roman first-”

“Hey!”

Virgil disappeared in a whirl of fabrics, tossing them with gleeful direction at the five of them while giving them playfully imperious orders.

They went through several outfits and variations on them apiece. Virgil finally settled on one for each of them, and Logan found himself having more fun than he’d thought he would.

Virgil seemed to have gone in the “mad wizard” direction for him... a crisp black shirt and ascot under a form-fitting vest was paired with gloves and a pair of rather steampunk goggles on his head. A duster that Logan suspected was substituting for a lab robe was worn over that.

Virgil had gone in the fairytale direction for Roman and Remus, but he obviously hadn’t actually meant to make fun of Roman. Remus’s was looser, more flowing, some of the pieces askew and making him look rather roguish, while Roman looked – almost shockingly – severe and cold in perfectly pressed and poised, head-to-toe jet. Virgil had even done a quick sweep of make-up, paling Roman and painting his lips to match his blood red hair (grumbling about how Roman was “too ugly for his vision” but clearly delighting in Roman’s entire costume). The effect was rather vampiric.

To Devin, he’d gone fully Victorian, shyly holding up a bustle that Devin had snatched up with glee. Virgil declared him to look “like a nineteenth-century widow who most definitely killed her husband” and Logan couldn’t help but agree.

Virgil had saved Patton for last, which Logan at first assumed was because he would be the most difficult – Patton warmly tan skin and woodsy curls and apple cheeks did not, on Logan’s first instinct, lend themselves to goth fashion.

But it soon became clear that Virgil had saved him for last because he had the most fleshed out ideas for him – Virgil flicked through the clothes, muttering, looking for specific things where he’d taken the inspiration from the clothes he saw to the rest of them.

Finally, Virgil stepped back from doing Patton’s makeup fully, and nodded, showing Patton to the mirror.

Virgil had dove back into the fantasy clothing, in a more whimsical direction from Roman and Remus. Patton was layered in skirts and gowns of silvery tulle, his makeup accentuating his freckles with glitter. He did look like some kind of deceptively cherubic dark fairy, and Logan considered himself somewhat more of an expert on the subject than most.

Roman made a big show of falling to his knees solemnly.

“Dear one,” he said, holding his hand out beseechingly, “I swoon of your beauty!”

“Yeah, yeah, break it up,” said Virgil, shooing him with his foot and wrapping Patton in an embrace. “It’s my birthday, I have dibs on all the baby brother time I want.”

“Virgil!” whined Patton, half laughing, “I’m not a baby!”

“Baby to meeeee,” said Virgil, squeezing him hard and then abruptly switching to noogie-ing him.

“Off, off-off-off, you meanie-!”

“Wrestliiiiiiing!” shouted Remus, yanking off his shirt and diving into the “fray.” Roman followed immediately, because the twins shared a collective three brain cells.

“Rather silly, aren’t they?” he said, sotto voce, to Devin, who gave him a deadpan look.

“Please,” said Devin, “I am the only voice of reason here. If this were intellectual chicanery, you would be right there with them.”

“But it is not,” said Logan reasonably, “so I get points.”

“No you don’t.”

“Unfair parameters.”

“Cope.”

---

[three--rings]

Me, with Max open, hitting refresh: SHOW SHOW SHOW SHOW

Spoiler reaction to 2x04 below

Hi I'm back after having seen it and OMG OMG. Hi, they came for us. They came to kill us all. I'm in pieces. Somehow all of that is a good thing. Raise your hand who else is deceased.

Buttons, BUTTTONS, we're getting Buttons info? Oh, just a tease.

God god there's so much happening.

"First time I've been on this side of a walk of shame" Wee John I fucking love you.

Ed my heart, sigh. I get it, of course anger is the easy way to go with this. "You're not a fucking mermaid." Literally the funniest thing he could have said somehow.

Buttons, you really should have separated those two sentences. "Walk with me so I can explain." Cool you sound wise. "I'm hunting for a vessel so I can turn into a bird." And...you've ruined it.

For real tho the way this show manages to be so funny while still giving us the serious story is wild.

He's fucking quoting the song my god.

The bunny scene. The glove covering the spider. And I KNEW the bunny wasn't lasting long and wouldn't be a thing. I KNEW it. I hope the fandom doesn't more poor Stede Bunnet too badly.

So is that the canonical explanation for Buttons? He visited the gravy basket too many times and his grip on reality is permanently loose? Like someone who has done way too much LSD?

I should watch this show at more than 30 second intervals but there's too much to talk about.

I love them so much I love this whole scene with Anne and Mary omg. (I still hate Anne's corset with the fire of a thousand suns for looking like every mass-produced shitty steampunk corset of 2012 but)

Do whatever you want you're good at that. I love them.

Them sitting on a fucking couch together "can we not do this now?" I'm LIVING.

WTF WTF is going on with Anne and Mary.

I was WONDERING why Roach's cake looked like a wedding cake. It was for traumatic reasons.

"Artsy outsider was always your type." OH REALLY SAY MORE.

Disappointed Anne and Stede weren't caught by Ed and Mary but okay.

Izzy...izzy...izzy. I wish we could have seen him drunkenly fighting the unicorn.

We all wondered what would make Ed break that chair....yeah finding out Stede went back to Mary would do it...

I can't I can't you guys I'm dead. I'm dead and gone and we're never recovering from this,,

But how fucking honest and open ED was in this conversation. " I was all in." like I love them so much.

Why didn't we get a toxic lesbian kiss, huh? I feel robbed.

Izzy...Con fuck you very much. That's all.

Okay okay, fucking Stede being like "hey you wanna uh spendthenightwithme" and Ed "Yes".

And then Buttons is (maybe) a bird now? Good for him, good for him. You gotta change to love them right. Yeah I see you.

Then running off through the trees together giddy. I can't. Didn't think we would get this.

"The new unicorn" okay. gonna need someone to explain this to me with meta.

That ep omg like perfection? like why are they being so nice to us? I can't.

So...Ed and Stede...did they...uh...?? If they leave it ambiguous in the next ep am I maybe gonna write it? maaybe.