#these days we putter about in an orchard for the most part (and he bucks despite being almost 30)

[ballroomnotoriety]

those knee high spats are called half-chaps! they serve the same purpose as the tall boots Martha is wearing--i.e., to keep your legs from getting pinched by the stirrup straps/keep your jodhs from getting worn out. they're usually worn for training because nobody wants to wrestle those goddamn tall boots on every time. a boot jack and swearing is generally required to get them off. special boots are a must, though, because that little half inch heel keeps your foot from slipping through the stirrup so you don't get dragged if you fall off.

and speaking of jodphurs, those are the stupid looking pants! they also have a purpose. The seat and thighs are often reinforced with suede to make your butt grippier (so you don't slide around in the saddle)(skill issue) and helps keep them from wearing out. and you don't get chafing the way jeans can do.

the stupid looking jackets and shirts serve no purpose except to look fancy and make you spend even more goddamn money getting ready for the already expensive show for your already stupid fucking expensive hobby. the style for these things changes subtly every year and people get weird about it.

it is very nice to see that apparently we've moved away from the insistence that show helmets be covered in velvet which, for some reason, made them enormous so you look like a very foppish bobble-head (and of course, meant spending more money).

“Why is snoop dogg at the Olympics-“

WRONG QUESTION!

WHY ISNT MARTHA STEWART THERE WITH HIM?