Short Prompt #62
“You have the loveliest eyes,” A crooned, sliding into the seat beside B.
B shot them a dry look, angling their eyepatch in the dim bar light.
“Well, eye,” the annoyance corrected.
It only took about 3 seconds to identify their type. Peeking eyeteeth, hungry predator stare, corpse pale skin. Vampire. Not old school. Undead usually stuck to threads from their own era, and A’s lack of a waistcoat and cravat meant they were at least from this century.
B flicked up their collar and ducked the hole in their cheek into their jacket. “Why are you talking to me?”
“Pardon?”
“What’s your deal? Your friends dare you to come over or something? Trying to get a closer look? Yes, my skin really is this blue. No, pieces of myself don’t actively fall off. And no, I’m not going to tell you the story of my ‘undeath.’”
The vampire held their hands out in front of them. “Woah, fists down, sunshine.” They settled in firmer. “Do people really ask those sorts of things?”
“What? You’ve never been asked that before?” It came out a little more sarcastic than B had intended, and despite themselves, a bit of guilt edged in on the perpetually ravenous ache in their gut. It wasn’t the vampire’s fault they were a more fortunate undead than they were, the sort people ogled and romanticized and begged to come near—even at the risk of something dangerous.
But it was still infuriating.
Who did they think they were? Coming up here with their looks and their cheesy lines, thinking B would just fall all over themselves to bask in their attention. They weren’t stupid; they knew what was really happen—
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought you were cute and wanted to talk to you.”
B gaped, forgetting too late to keep their chin tucked down. Surely they’d seen the hole, and all the teeth within, but for some reason A didn’t cringe.
That wasn’t actually possible right? People didn’t get romantic about their sort of dead. It was too messy, too ugly, too unstable. This was still a set up. Just like B had suspected. It had to be.
“Forgive me for not buying that…but I’m not buying that.”
They moved to turn back to their drink, but suddenly the vampire’s face was right in front of theirs. If anyone had lovely eyes, it was them, a deep molten amber that rippled in the light.
“We can go somewhere more private if you like,” they said, flickers of fangs showing through their sultry smile. “Just you and me. Would that prove my intentions?”
“Not really,” B said flatly.
A long sigh dogged the end of the vampire’s chuckle. After a moment, they held out their hand. “Come with me anyway? For spontaneity’s sake?”
B stared. And stared. And stared. Until they’d committed the glossy black tips of those slender-fingered nail points to memory. They supposed it really couldn’t hurt. It wasn’t like a vampire could hurt them, not physically, and they were already prepared for the worst, so they should be emotionally sound too.
“Fine,” they said, accepting A’s hand.
People said a vampire’s skin was cold as ice, but temperature wasn’t really something B’s body recognized anymore. They’d been used to it for a long time, but for some reason in this instant, the lack of sensation hit them like a tidal wave. Soaking them in long past wants and wishes they’d thought successfully and deeply entombed.
They were probably going to regret this.
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Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
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so when straight people ask me why I say I’m “queer” or “gay” instead of sharing my actual identity as a panromantic demisexual non-binary sapphic queer I just tell them “ok look, when you’re talking to someone who isn’t local and they ask you where you’re from and you either say the name of the largest city nearby or ‘town name, suburb of large nearby city’ so they can get some geographical context of where you’re located right, bc they’re probably not going to know the name of the little town you actually live in.”
but if you’re talking to a local you can say the name of your actual town bc they have a greater chance of knowing where/what that is.
ok well when I’m talking to a straight person I start with queer bc chances are they aren’t as familiar with the context of all the little towns in that big queer city and need gps (gay positioning system) to find me.
if I’m talking to another queer person and I say I live in a suburb of gay city in a town called panromantic on the demisexual side of the tracks which is in the county of queer and I live off the intersection of non-binary and sapphic, they’d probably be able to find me with little to no problems, make sense?
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since I've seen it talked about in several places recently:
if you are going to do a whump- or kink- or ANY-tober or other similar challenges please please please don't post them as one fic with 31 chapters unless it actually is one coherent fic. if they're 31 completely separate fics or ficlets then please just make a collection for them or just post them as separate fics. it doesn't matter if they're only 100 words or if you think they're too small or insignificant to post alone, they're not.
and why this?
because if you post all 31 of them in one fic the tagging is absolutely useless. if I look for things to read on ao3 I'm gonna look at the tags, and if the tags include something that's a dealbreaker for me, i won't even click on the fic. I might not even SEE the fic because I've filtered out the nope-tag! so I'm gonna lose out on reading 30 perfectly nice fics because of one fic that my nope-tag applied to.
ao3 is about archiving. it's about clear tagging and being informative. there is nothing informative about it if the tags in the fic apply to random chapters while others have nothing to do with it. it makes so much more sense to have each work as an individual fic with its own individual tags and warnings, so readers can make informed choices.
of course, you do you. I can't police what other people decide to do. but personally, I find it incredibly frustrating to weed through 31 chapters to find the ones I actually want to read. so I don't. I automatically scroll past all works posted like that. and I know some others do, too.
there is absolutely no shame in posting short things on ao3. there is no minimum word count. no one is going to look at you funny if you post a small ficlet on its own, I promise. it's just going to make some readers very happy when they can actually find the things they want to read.
so, please. at least consider the upsides of posting each work as their own fic.
signed, one very frustrated fandom grandma.
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