#these are hilarious tho honestly

[spindle-and-nima]

how abstract can single and neko's names go before its unrecognizable

We are just spiraling into kiki or bouba the bunny version at this point

[evelynpr]

Congratulations My Hero Academia for providing, possibly, the biggest and longest legit straightbaiting yet in shonen history.

Bonus points that their final chapter was released on yaoi day.

[elsecrytt]

okay but jjk somnophilia is like

gojo "please please pleaaaaase let me put it in while you're sleeping PLEASE i swear i'll make you cum i proooomise please let's try it once pleeaaase. YOU can put it in ME whenever you want!!! any time any place anything you want in any of my holes!! wake me up with it!! it'll be soooo hot" satoru

vs

nanami "i have kink charts for both of us and they have sliding scales and notes section for each one. we can mark hard boundaries for what state of consciousness we want for ourselves or our partners, giving or receiving, what sex acts, etc. we'll set up a safe word and a safe gesture and then we can start trying things out" kento

vs

geto "sorry i fell asleep while eating you out, it will happen again. no, i won't stop eating you out when i fall unconscious. just tear me off your pussy if you don't like it" suguru

[bishy437]

congratulations to moshang for being the most popular pairing of my mxtx charms! 💙 🧡

And congratulations to Coffin!Hualian for being the overall most popular item LOL ❤️🤍

[quasarifxxy]

Fanfics:

Kazuki paused. Slowly, he approached Rei, a concerned look on his face.

"Of course, she would."

Anime:

[guardian-angle22]

911: Lone Star | Carlos "I Don't Avoid" Reyes

[mohntilyet]

Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating

NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around

[scintillyyy]

batman 12 cent adventure

pack it up boys, hate to say it but tim smells clean confirmed, explicit canon, sorry, i don't make the rules, etc

[watchyourbuck]

imagine we get bi Chimney before we get bi Buck lol

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 43

DcxDP crossover, yet again de-aged Danny & Dani, who would have thought?

Only this time, they’re being taken care of by teen/young adult Dan who is this close to snapping again but just finished community work and probation. Now they can’t stay in Amity, it’s not safe, like at all, or even in Illinois. 

So Dan takes the ‘twins’ and bolts from the city to somewhere else. Finds a simple job, even if it might not be fully legal, manages to secure an apartment and pay the rent for a few months ahead of time using some stolen money from Vlad. And is now in the middle of slightly freaking out on if this makes him a parent or not. 

However, he still destroyed the world in the future, and this is a crossover. Time travelling exists, and several heroes come back in time to stop the thing from happening. They aren’t expecting a teen dad and a pair of literal infants all covered in medical scars- and oh god is that a collar on the barely adult?! Misunderstandings ensue. 

[mycological-mariner]

So I bought this painting of the Cutty Sark in a charity shop for 50p. And on the back it’s got this placard - pretty cool, right? Obviously it’s staying

Obviously the frame is a little busted and it can’t hang but that’s a 10 minute fix.

So I remove the card first thing to save for later and —

It’s a fucking menu. And apparently a really fancy one - it got French words. I’m laughing my ass off because some guy cut out a description of the Cutty Sark from a restaurant menu and stuck it to the back of a painting of said ship. At this point I’m having a blast and joking that “Oh, what’s next, the painting itself is gonna be from the dessert menu, I bet!”

IT WAS THE FUCKING WINE MENU. And this has to be ancient because £1.25 for a bottle of wine?? 20p for a glass?!

So quite a few decades ago some guy stole a menu, took it home, then cut out the painting of The Cutty Sark and it’s description and framed it to presumably hang on their wall. And now it is in my home, on my mantle and whenever I have guests over they’ll go “Oh what a nice picture of a ship!” But they won’t know. Only I will know that it is in fact the front piece of a wine menu. Like. The process behind how this came to be.

I’m keeping this forever.

[def-not-kaz-brekker]

controversial opinion but inej ghafa is literally terrifying and (obviously) such a queen.

like she literally held a stadwatch guard at knifepoint after creeping up on him and whispered (I don’t remember the exact quote) “I like it when men beg, but nows not the time” like??? Queen?????

And the end of the crooked kingdom where she cuts pekka rollins after threatening him, and switched alby’s toy lion with a crow?? Fucking terrifying?????

My love for inej knows no bounds and she is undeniably a powerful and scary woman

[vidalinav]

You see… none of the tiny interactions between the IC and Nesta bother me because of how literally impulsive I saw her being written as in this book. I think it’s hilarious and good content, but this girl literally did whatever the fuck she wanted. Sure at times she was like playing nice and seemed to be working with the team… but when amren was like you said what you said now leave I was like BITCH. BUT THEN I saw Nesta literally just say whatever came out of her mouth while azriel was like… maybe we shouldn’t be telling this random alien who keeps escaping these things, and then I read her just randomly putting on a weapon even though she legit says that it worries her in acosf and she probably shouldn’t be having it, and she just is like 🤷🏽‍♀️ a lot of the time that she almost gets caught in a booby trap. She just gives the mask away (with good reason) without consulting anyone. So it made a perfect amount of sense to me for Amren and Azriel and Rhys and even Cassian (tho he did literally nothing- basically nonexistent) to be like… uhh Nesta I’m questioning these decisions. Especially because it doesn’t sound like this is the first time.

Do they do it nicely? No. But do these interactions remind me of someone yelling at a toddler putting their hand on the stove after someone’s told the toddler they’d burn themselves? Yes.

But do I want Nesta to keep putting her hand on the stove? Also yes.

[sammyloomis]

the caitlyn/maddie jumpscare at the top of episode 4 tho

like my god maddie, would you jump in vi's grave any faster???? ur cute n all but shacking up with ur proclaimed heros missus is a step beyond idol worship methinks

[hisbutler-problematic]

what i really love about black butler is they said what if there was one little boy and for some unknown reason absolutely unhinged occult stuff ALWAYS happened around him

they try to play it off by being like “oh he’s a phantomhive, they deal w all kinds of stuff” but then they make it very clear that this little boy is the only one who has to deal with shit like demons and shinigami and werewolves and zombies, etc

like no one is super surprised when he’s like “oh just another day dismantling the zombie factory” but there’s also a distinct “wtf do you mean zombie factory” air to it

queen: there’s witches and werewolves in germany that you have to deal with ciel: why the fuck do i have to go to germany (his only problem w that sentence)

and then the little boy has the audacity to be like “tbh don’t really believe this witch and werewolf thing :/“ to his DEMON butler

[avnasace]

jace really is collecting mothers and fathers and siblings left and right and centre isnt he