#these all were pretty quick so they aren't the best but I like them nonetheless | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cieloclercs · 2 years ago

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sliding doors, chapter four

pairing: joão félix x fem!reader part: 4/? warnings: swearing (i think), mentions of sex, gets a little bit steamy but mostly just fluff! word count: 8.7k

author’s note: sorry for the long wait again! unfortunately my gcses are coming up so most updates will probably take a while :( i’m not 100% happy with this chapter tbh, i feel like their relationship is moving a bit too quick?? idk, please let me know what you guys think! any feedback (as long as it’s constructive) is appreciated ❤️❤️

SLIDING DOORS, “Seemingly inconsequential moments that nonetheless alter the trajectory of future events.”

04. in which joão makes dinner

previously: chapter 3

read it on wattpad!

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE, THAT'S IT FOR TODAY." Esperanza's lecturer, Jordan, announced to the rest of the class as they all began packing up their things, "Don't forget your essays due in next week! I'll be chasing you up if they aren't turned in on time."

Doutzen van Aalsburg shared an eye roll with her friend. As if they weren't all already stressed enough about finals, Jordan had decided to set them even more work to do in their free time — it was almost as if he wanted them to lose their minds. Esperanza shot Doutzen a pained look in return, before turning her attention to her open bag, where she slipped in her laptop and pencil case. The Dutch woman waited impatiently, edging closer to the door (where most of the rest of their classmates had already filed out) with each passing second. Esperanza rolled her eyes discreetly.

"We've been stuck in here for three hours, Doutzy —" she spoke, slinging her bag over her shoulder, "You can wait a couple more minutes."

Doutzen scoffed.

"Bitch. I should've just left you."

Despite her words, they left the lecture theatre side by side, her previous annoyance at Esperanza's lack of urgency melting away as she began to rant on about something or another — possibly her latest situationship, though Doutzen had had so many of them recently, Esperanza had given up trying to keep track. Besides, her mind wandered... elsewhere: in the direction of a certain Portuguese footballer who had promised to cook her dinner tonight, perhaps — though it was still anyone's guess.

Doutzen and Millie were the only people she'd told about the date. As promised, Esperanza had called her best friend the moment João had left her apartment, admittedly, in the early hours of the morning. They'd ended up watching Dirty Dancing in her living room (to her dismay, João had never even heard of it before). Though, when she told Millie later on that they'd watched a movie together, it was probably, in all, less watching the movie, and more making out on Esperanza's couch. The crimson flush in her cheeks as she rambled gave her away pretty quickly. It didn't take long at all for Millie to figure out the truth.

Esperanza had told Doutzen the next morning on the way to their lecture. She didn't try to airbrush over the finer details of the night this time, figuring that – just like Millie had – the Dutch woman would see through her almost immediately. Doutzen was surprisingly enthusiastic about it all. Considering she seemed to have such a negative view of any kind of romance, her reaction to Esperanza's recounts of how sweet João had been with her all night was far more approving than she had been expecting.

That had been two weeks ago. Two weeks since the date, two weeks since their first kiss, and two weeks since they'd fallen into the cycle of spending almost every waking second together (whenever João wasn't at training and Esperanza didn't have uni). It was pure bliss. As he'd promised himself, João had taken her out on a number of slightly more low-key dates; most often a late night walk or a drive in movie where, similarly to the first night, they'd spent more time making out on the back seat of his car than actually watching the film. As well as that, João had adjusted his home workout schedule to fit in with Esperanza's, so that when she got home from a lecture, he'd be fresh out of the shower after training and they could curl up on his sofa or, occasionally, go for a walk in the nearby park with his dog Floki (who João was beginning to fear now loved Esperanza more than him).

He'd even taken her to a local travelling art exhibition as a surprise. He probably knew as much about art as he did about nuclear physics, but just seeing her face light up as she scurried between paintings and statues and sculptures was more than enough for João. Esperanza's smile was the only piece of art he needed to see, anyway. Everything else in that gallery only paled in comparison.

Whilst Esperanza had opened up to her two closest friends about the date, João hadn't told anyone – not a single soul. That didn't mean his friends and family didn't have their suspicions, of course, but as far as explicitly saying 'Oh yeah, I went on a date with my next door neighbour the other day – we made out of her sofa', his lips had been tightly sealed. João wanted to keep it between him and Esperanza for a little while. It felt pointless to taint such a perfect memory with the opinions of others: especially his teammates, who, though he loved them to pieces, weren't exactly chaste when it came to talking about girls.

Two weeks after the first date which had sent his mind into a spin, João had invited her round to his apartment so he could cook dinner for the both of them. Now, João considered himself a pretty decent cook – he'd grown up helping his mother prepare all sorts of meals for their family, so he'd picked up a couple of things. However, he'd never cooked ricotta agnolotti before; and considering it was Esperanza's favourite (and her mother's own speciality), João was nervous.

He'd been struggling to concentrate all throughout training. His teammates were half used to him spacing out between drills by now, seen as it appeared to be a common occurrence whenever he had Esperanza on his mind (not that they knew that was the case – though they'd put two and two together and figured out that it had to be something to do with a girl from the way he would dive for his phone whenever they had a five minute break. Not to mention the cheek-splitting grin that would appear on his face whenever he found a text waiting for him). João simply couldn't help but fear the worst. Maybe he wasn't ready to admit it to himself yet, but Esperanza already meant a lot to him, and he wanted every single second they spent together to be perfect. If anything at all went wrong tonight, he'd be devastated.

"Why are you so jittery today, mate?" the sound of a voice coming from just over his shoulder broke João out of his spiralling thoughts. He turned to face its owner, and found three of his teammates watching him expectantly, eyebrows raised.

Reece James, Ben Chilwell and Mason Mount weren't blind — they'd noticed João's restlessness from the moment he stepped foot in Cobham and greeted them with a distracted smile and half-hearted side hug. They'd also, over the admittedly short amount of time that they'd known each other, picked up on a few things: such as the way he'd space out in the middle of practice with a dreamy look in his eye, or smile giddily when he looked down at his phone in the locker rooms. It was as clear as day what was going on. João had a girl in his life. He just wouldn't admit it to them yet.

"Does it have something to do with, uh —" Ben spoke, arching his eyebrow teasingly, "a certain Esperanza with a heart emoji?"

João groaned. The others snickered. He'd been unfortunate enough to have gotten caught out a couple of days ago after training when he'd been texting Esperanza. Ben had noticed his stupid smile, and decided to take a quick peek over his shoulder (perhaps not one of his best moves, but they'd been trying to get João to tell them about his mystery girl for weeks). Though Ben didn't understand a word of the Spanish they exchanged primarily in, the red heart by Esperanza's name was enough to tell him this wasn't just a friend.

(And no, she hadn't put her contact name with a heart— João had added it in, the same night as their date).

"Didn't I already make it clear I'm not telling you shit?" he chuckled quietly, shaking his head.

"And didn't we make it clear we'd find out sooner or later?" Mason shot back, "Come on, man, we just wanna know what's got you so nervous. Did you ask her on a date or something?"

João merely rolled his eyes. He was standing by his original decision for now; he wanted to keep this... thing with Esperanza between them. For the moment, at least. The days spent alone together, the secret smiles, and the warm feeling in his chest whenever she looked at him, it was all theirs. João didn't want to ruin their perfect harmony by involving other people — or the public for that matter, because the more people who knew, the more likely their secret was to get out.

Yet his teammates still wouldn't give up. As Potter dismissed them back to the locker rooms, they trailed after him, latching on like irritating parasites that he couldn't for the life of him shake off. Their antics brought the faintest of smiles to João's lips however, and without even realising it, by shooting down their questions with little quips here and there, he'd almost completely forgotten about his previous worries.

"She's not my girlfriend." he conceded finally. They had made it back to the locker room by now, and all three of them stopped dead in their tracks in surprise at his words — to them, it was as much of an admission as they needed.

"But there is a girl." Ben scoffed, "I fucking knew it. What did I tell you?" he turned to Reece and Mason, who both nodded their agreement.

"You gonna tell us about her?" Reece spoke up next, arching a teasing eyebrow, "Or are you gonna keep that a secret for another three weeks as well?"

João rolled his eyes.

"Maybe I will, you know. I don't have to tell you anything."

"But you will." Mason smirked.

He wasn't wrong. Telling only those three couldn't hurt, right? Besides, maybe he was craving someone to confide in about Esperanza, considering how quickly she'd become such a major part of his life. He couldn't tell his family — not over the phone, that felt weird: both they and Esperanza deserved something a little more meaningful than a brief mention in a text message or call. João wanted to cherish the peace they had in their relationship as much as the next guy, but deep down he was desperate just to talk about her — about the way she made him feel.

"Her name's Esperanza." João revealed as he sat down to remove his boots. Reece, Mason and Ben all came to a halt simultaneously, watching him in interest, "She's a criminal psychology and law student at UCL. And she's from Argentina."

The questions came in waves upon waves from then. He didn't know if it was because his teammates had nothing else interesting going on in their love lives, but they seemed very interested in his. How did you meet, have you asked her out yet, et cetera. João didn't want to reveal too much, but he couldn't push away the wide smile that always seemed to appear on his face whenever he thought about her. His teammates shared knowing grins.

"Mate, you're so whipped." Mason cackled. The others nodded in agreement. He couldn't exactly deny it anymore — Esperanza made him feel things that he hadn't felt in years, and then some. João didn't care if he'd only known her for a few weeks; feelings didn't have a minimum time limit. He might even have been infatuated from the moment they first met. He certainly hasn't stopped thinking about her since then.

"Have you got a picture?" Ben piped up. João turned to him, eyes narrowing, "What?" he shrugged innocently, "I just want to see what she looks like."

João hadn't really been planning on revealing this much about Esperanza, but he just couldn't help himself. He was almost eager in fishing out his phone from his bag, strangely excited to show his teammates how incredibly lucky he'd got. He swiped through the most recent photos in his camera roll until he came upon a picture she had taken of the both of them on his phone while walking Floki through the park a couple of days before. She was wearing one of his hats and a thick coat that almost drowned her, but João didn't think he'd ever seen anyone look so adorable whilst complaining of being so cold she could have turned into an icicle. Perhaps it was because of the flush in her cheeks the frozen air brought on, or the little glint in her eye. Plus, he was there, with his arm wrapped around her waist and chin resting on her shoulder, smiling like he was the happiest man on earth — at the time, he'd certainly felt it. Looking back at that picture made him long to see her again (though she'd sent him off to training only a few hours before with that smile he adored so much and a sweet kiss).

"This is her?" Ben whistled. The three teammates each twisted their bodies around to take a look at João's phone screen and the picture he proudly presented to them, "I can't lie to you, bro, you're punching."

Reece and Mason laughed loudly; obnoxiously loudly. He stared back at them, perfectly straight-faced, though internally he felt like laughing too, because it wasn't far off the truth.

"Ha.ha." João deadpanned, "You're hilarious."

"I only speak the truth." Ben smirked back, "Seriously though, how'd you manage to pull her? She's smart, hot, and exotic! That's like, the full package!"

"Hey, watch it, Chilwell." João warned, narrowing his eyes playfully. The Brit thew his hands up in surrender with a good natured chuckle.

"Just saying." he shrugged.

As they packed up and finally left the locker rooms, bidding goodbye to the training staff on the way out, the subject of Esperanza was dropped for a few minutes. João checked his phone to see if she had texted him yet — there was nothing, so he assumed she must have still been in her lecture. He decided to let her know he was on his way back. A faint smile tugged at his lips as he caught a brief glimpse of the message she'd sent him that morning: Have fun at training! I can't wait for tonight! Neither could he. His nerves had, temporarily at least, evaporated — all he could think about now was seeing her again.

"Hey, João!" Reece James called after the retreating figure of his teammate. João looked up from his phone with a start, and spun around to face the voice.

"You're still coming clubbing with us on Saturday, right?"

He nodded.

"You should bring Esperanza with you." Reece went on, "Mine and a couple of the other guys' girlfriends are coming too. And you know what Mia's like, as soon as I tell her you've got yourself a girl, she'll be nagging me to meet her."

"She's not my —" João began, but cut himself off just as quickly with a sigh. He didn't see the point in arguing, "Sure, I'll ask her."

"Great!" Reece beamed, "I'll see you tomorrow then, mate?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." João grinned back. The teammates turned away from each other in the direction of their respective cars. The messages app on João's phone was opened the moment he was alone again. He let out a sigh. Still nothing.

Meanwhile, Esperanza was walking towards the tube station, half-listening to Doutzen's complaints about the essay their lecturer had set them. Though she was mostly occupied with her phone, hoping to be greeted by a message from João. She wasn't disappointed.

Just finished training.

See you soon! 😜

Esperanza giggled, catching Doutzen's attention. The Dutch woman rolled her eyes. She didn't even have to ask anymore to know exactly who her friend was texting.

"Are you seeing loverboy tonight, then?" she asked — already knowing the answer. They saw each other pretty much every night these days.

"Yeah." Esperanza replied, shaking her head a little at the nickname, but deciding to turn a blind eye just this once, "He's cooking dinner."

Doutzen's eyebrows arched in surprise, "João can cook?"

"Well I sure hope so."

To be honest, Esperanza didn't really care about the food. She'd settle for beans on toast over a gourmet meal any day, as long as it meant she was with João. It was beginning to dawn on her just how attached she'd grown to this boy in such a short space of time, and though it worried her a little, she couldn't bring herself to put any distance between them. The last few weeks had just been too perfect.

"Have you told your family about him yet?" Doutzen questioned. It came out slightly cautious. She tilted her head to the side just a little, analysing the way her friend's gaze dropped instantly to the ground.

"They know I'm seeing someone." Esperanza admitted, "They don't know who he is yet."

In other words, they didn't know he was a famous footballer. She knew that if she told them, (her father and brother more specifically, not so much her mother — Bernette Cabrera had always been fairly laid back when it came to her daughter's love life) they would freak.

"Mateo's going to lose it when he finds out." Doutzen stated grimly, only further confirming her worries.

Mateo Cabrera, Esperanza's older brother by three years, had been fiercely protective of her for as long as she could remember — but especially after she'd had her heart broken by her high school boyfriend. Mateo had been a promising footballer himself, playing in the Argentine Primera Divisíon before injury forced him to give up the career he'd dreamed of since he was a little kid. Esperanza knew exactly what he'd say if he found out about João.

"Footballers are all douchebags, Anzi. I know — I've been one."

She hated confrontation too much to argue with him. Besides, at the end of the day, he was her big brother, and she knew he was only trying to look out for her; even if his overprotectiveness got a little annoying sometimes.

"What are you going to do when you start dating for real?" Doutzen went on, "As in, when he asks you to be his girlfriend?"

Esperanza's eyebrows furrowed. "I'll tell them, of course." she replied, shrugging her shoulders as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm not talking about your family, Anzi."

The lines in her forehead deepened, "What do you mean?"

"Well, João's gonna want to go public at some point, right?" Doutzen explained with a small sigh, "Are you sure you're ready for that? It'll be a lot of media attention — not all of it positive."

Esperanza frowned. She hadn't even considered that. To her, João was just João — she forgot he was one of the most famous young footballers in the world sometimes. But Doutzen was right; going public with him would put her in the line of fire, and she didn't figure João's fans were the forgiving type.

"That's a long way off yet." Esperanza answered in a quiet voice, "We'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it."

Their relationship as it was right now, without the pressure of labels or the watchful public eye, was too perfect to taint with worries about the future just yet. They were having fun; getting to know each other better — that was all that mattered at the moment.

But Esperanza couldn't ignore the nerves that began to churn in her stomach at the thought of being exposed to João's fans like that. She cared about him a lot, but she didn't know if she was ready to live her life in the spotlight, constantly being judged and picked apart for every little thing that she did. Esperanza wasn't cut out for that.

She tried to push the strange feeling aside as she bid goodbye to Doutzen. There was no point in worrying about something that might not even come to pass, she told herself. Tonight was about her and João — not the potential pitfalls in their relationship, and certainly not his fans. Maybe Esperanza would allow herself to worry about it another day, but today was not that day. She just wanted to spend time with the boy who had quickly captured her heart.

When she arrived back at her apartment half an hour or so later, she checked her phone to see another new text from João — he was in the shower, but he'd be ready in twenty minutes, was the general gist of what it read. That gave her time at least to change into something a little cuter than the sweatpants and hoodie she'd pulled on in her rush to get out of the door this morning. João had told her to dress casual (as he insisted they binge watch his new favourite Netflix series after dinner), so she settled for her favourite pair of slightly worn jeans, and a cropped knit cardigan. She gathered her hair up into a claw at the back of her head, applied some mascara and lip gloss, and then checked the time. Fifteen minutes. That was close enough, right?

Smoothing down her cardigan, Esperanza took a moment to collect herself as she stood outside of João's apartment door. Then she raised her fist, and knocked twice. A voice from inside called back immediately.

"It's open, let yourself in! I'm just getting changed!"

Esperanza did as she was told. The door swung open when she pushed it, and stepped into João's surprisingly pristine apartment. He'd struck her as a typical man at first, the type who found it impossible to clean up after themselves, but when he'd first invited her into his apartment, she'd come to realise he was pretty much the opposite. His apartment was probably even tidier than hers.

Stepping fully into the room, Esperanza's attention was caught by the small, furry body of João's dog, Floki, sprinting towards her across the tiled floor, his claws clattering loudly against it. She let out a small squeal and bent down to scoop the tiny dog up into her arms. Floki made it his immediate mission to lick every inch of her face, and Esperanza giggled, half-heartedly trying to push him away. He was ruining her makeup, but he was cute, so she didn't care.

"I'm starting to think you only come over here so you can see Floki."

Esperanza looked up. João had appeared, standing in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest and an eyebrow arched in amusement. She grinned sheepishly, giving Floki one last pat on the head before rising to her feet and making her way towards João.

"Maybe I do." she shrugged, "He is cuter than you."

João gasped dramatically, holding his hand over his chest in mock-offence, "You don't mean that." he pouted. Esperanza giggled under her breath. He looked impossibly good, as per usual — dressed in black sweatpants and a loose-fitting beige hoodie, with his hair still slightly damp, indicating he'd just got out of the shower. She felt herself blushing slightly, struggling to keep her eyes focussed completely on his face.

"You're right. I don't." Esperanza laughed. The next thing she knew, João had stepped forward out of the doorway and closed the gap between them in a single stride, to press a feather light kiss to her lips. She melted into it like it was the most natural thing in the world — as natural as breathing. Esperanza would never get tired of that feeling she got when his lips were on hers. Everything else just seemed to melt away.

But all too soon, he drew back, smiling. Floki jumped up between them, pushing their legs apart with his paws. They both laughed.

"I'm about to start cooking." he told her, "And before you ask what I'm making, it's a surprise."

"A surprise?" Esperanza arched her eyebrows, "Should I be concerned?"

"Hopefully not." João chuckled nervously. He'd managed to banish the butterflies in his stomach for a little while, but as soon as he'd arrived home after training, they'd come back in full force. Everything had to be perfect.

"Do you mind waiting in the living room while I cook?" he asked. His hands, which had remained lingering by her hips after their kiss, began to gently push her back in the direction of the living room.

"You're banishing me?" Esperanza teased.

"Well it won't be a surprise if you're watching me cook, will it?" João shot back, pinching the exposed skin of her waist gently. She squirmed, giggling, and pulled away, "Go play with Floki or something."

Esperanza's eyes narrowed.They flickered towards the kitchen door over João's shoulder, and her lips curled up into the faintest of smirks. Before he had the chance to react, she darted to the side, sprinting towards the door as fast as she could. Oh no you don't! João laughed, his hands back on her waist before she could even get close to the kitchen — such were the perks of being a high-performance athlete. He pulled her body into his chest, spinning her around as she giggled and her feet made contact with the ground again, facing away from the kitchen door.

"Fine, I'm going." Esperanza groaned, though her eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Good." João grinned, "I won't be long — I promise."

"You better not!"

He shook his head as he left the room, chuckling softly. Esperanza had been shy when he first met her, barely able to hold his gaze for more than a few seconds before she looked away, flushing crimson. She still had her moments now, but in the past couple of weeks, João felt she'd come out of her shell. Esperanza had a bubbly personality. She was like a ray of sunshine in his life, always positive, always smiling. Nothing seemed to be able to knock her down, no matter how much of a blow she took. João admired that about her. And he figured he probably needed that in his life right about now.

It wasn't normal for him to already be wanting something more so soon into a new relationship. Thanks to his past experiences, he was always cautious. He didn't let himself fall easily. But João had found, to his growing concern, that every day when he woke up in the morning, and every night when he went to bed, Esperanza would be the first and last thing he thought about. Whenever she wasn't around, João would find himself wishing he could talk to her. If he passed a cute dog in the street, his first thought would be how Esperanza would have cooed over it. If he heard a Taylor Swift song in public, all he could think about was how she would have been singing along. Everything seemed to come back to her.

João might have run. If he hadn't been aware that his time in London was limited until the end of the season, he most likely would have done. But neither he nor Esperanza knew if they'd ever see each other again after he went back to Spain, and her to Argentina. The rest of their time together was on the clock – and so far, as short as it may have been, every single second had been nothing short of perfect. João, for all his caution, and Esperanza, though she had next to no experience of an adult relationship, didn't have the self-control to worry about how things could end in the future. For the moment at least, they were just letting it happen – letting themselves depend on someone else for a change.

That was just one of the reasons why João was so desperate to get this dinner right. Not just because he wanted to impress Esperanza, but also because he wanted every single moment they spent together to be untainted – perfect. He'd wasted too much time in previous relationships worrying and doubting and arguing. He wouldn't do that with Esperanza. For whatever reason he couldn't quite fathom yet, she meant more to him that any of the other girls ever had. Even if they'd only known each other for a few weeks. Even if saying it made him sound like a total sap. He didn't care.

João stayed true to his promise, and made sure that Esperanza didn't have to wait in the living room on her own for too long. He was lucky that the recipe itself didn't take long to prepare. Plus, he'd practised it beforehand to be absolutely sure nothing would go wrong (though he never would have admitted it if asked). So, João plated up the filled pasta feeling more or less satisfied. The nerves still remained, however. He'd never known cooking for someone could be so daunting. If Esperanza didn't like it, he was pretty sure he'd spend the rest of his time in London hiding from her out of embarrassment — (although, maybe not. João didn't actually think he could go more than a few days without being in her presence at this point.)

After setting the table and rearranging the vase of flowers set up in the middle, he made his way back into the living room to fetch Esperanza. João pushed open the door, and his lips turned up into a half-disbelieving smile when he caught sight of her.

"What are you doing?" he chuckled lowly.

Esperanza looked up, startled. She hadn't heard the hinges of the door creak, nor his soft footsteps as he walked into the room. He was stood above her now, both eyebrows raised. She smiled back up at him sheepishly. She'd taken João's instructions to play with Floki as more or less a command — the little dog was currently curled up contentedly on her chest, as she laid flat-backed on the carpet, licking her chin and wagging his tail every time she half-heartedly tried to push him away. Esperanza didn't actually mind. He was small enough that his waist sternum felt surprisingly comfortable. And besides, she loved Floki. He was one of her favourite things about coming to meet João after her classes (just don't tell him that).

"I'm playing with Floki." Esperanza answered finally, blinking up at the man above her innocently. João chuckled again, shaking his head.

"You're so cute."

He leaned down to scoop Floki up into his arms, and, giving her no time to fully process his words (or hide the blush spreading rapidly across her cheeks), pulled her gently up off the floor by her forearms. She stumbled a bit at the sudden movement, but João's hand on her waist was quick to steady her. Esperanza risked a glance upwards, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from grinning. He was already watching her.

"Food's ready." João murmured. She didn't miss the way his eyes flickered down to her lips. The smile she had been hiding now blossomed unashamedly.

Esperanza followed him into the kitchen, Floki trailing not far behind, the slight smirk and faint remnants of a blush still traceable on her cheeks. The moment she stepped into the room, an instantly recognisable smell hit her – she recognised it, because it smelled like home. Her mother's signature meal. Bernette Cabrera had pretty much been a stay at home mom throughout her and Mateo's childhood, and for as long as Esperanza could remember, thinking back to her school years, she had made ricotta agnolotti without fail when they returned home and either one of them had had a bad day. It wasn't just the fact that Esperanza loved pasta (she blamed her one quarter Italian genes inherited from her grandmother for that): it was a reminder of all the things she loved and missed about her home. Never mind that João had actually remembered her brief mention of her childhood comfort food.

"You didn't..." she breathed out, feeling a lump begin to form in her throat.

"I did." João grinned proudly back at her. He'd perked up like a puppy at the look on her face when she realised what he had made. His eyes were wide with anticipation, lips parted ever-so-slightly. Esperanza felt an overwhelming, unfamiliar sensation wash over her. She'd never experienced if before, so she couldn't place it — but João's gesture, as small as it may have been, was quite possibly the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for her, even if thinking about home made her want to burst into tears. So maybe that unfamiliar feeling in the pit of her stomach was a little bit of adoration.

"Why are you so sweet?" Esperanza laughed shakily, "You're gonna make me cry."

João had wrapped his arms around her waist in the next instant, pulling her close until they were stood chest to chest. He looked down at her with a little half smile, as if he knew she was a sucker for the way his lips would quirk up just a little and his dark eyes would sparkle like constellations. Esperanza's hand reached up to cup his cheek, considering he didn't seem to have the initiative to just kiss her, and pulled him down until their lips met. She could feel João smile into the curve of her mouth. Oh, he definitely knew what he was doing.

Esperanza pulled away first, nuzzling her nose into the side of his cheek. He let out a deep, contended sigh. His hands had wandered beneath her button up cardigan to trace patterns on the small of her back. Just his touch made her shiver.

She could have stayed there all day, but, as João reminded her in a slightly reluctant murmur, the food was going cold. So Esperanza pulled away and took the seat opposite him at the dining table. She had to admit, João had done a good job, certainly presentation wise, from first glance. Her mouth watering just looking at the filled pasta.

From the very first mouthful, João's nerves returned in full force. He tried to read her expression, but it was difficult to tell in between mouthfuls of his own food. The only encouragement he could gather at first was that she hadn't spit it out in disgust — that was a win, right?

"Is it ok?" João couldn't help himself but to ask, chewing on the inside of his mouth nervously, "Do you like it? It doesn't taste weird does it —"

"João, it's lovely." Esperanza cut him off with a giggle, "Tastes just like my Mamá's recipe. I'm impressed."

His face seemed to light up like the sun breaking the horizon at that. His main worry of the night had been proved, just as he'd hoped, a pointless burden that he shouldn't have even been concerned about in the first place. The rest of the night had to be perfect from then on. João had merely wanted to impress Esperanza, to show that he cared, but already they got along so well that actually spending time with her was as natural as if they'd been together for years. The possibility of messing up Esperanza's own mother's signature recipe was the only thing that ever could have gone wrong. Slowly but surely, João felt himself relax.

Later on, they migrated back into the living room, leaving their empty plates at the dining room table for now (João swore he'd tidy them up after she'd gone, and no, he wouldn't let her do it for him). They settled under a pile of fluffy blankets, which he had brought from his room, knowing how easily Esperanza got cold. Floki hopped up onto the sofa with them, curling up on João's lap, whilst Esperanza laid her head on his chest. Tiredly, she rambled on about the essay her lecturer had set their class, complaining about how little time she had amongst her university workload to paint, and actually relax — as of late, it had begun to feel like she did nothing except study.

"Why don't you take a break?" João suggested. He'd taken to running his hands through Esperanza's hair, alternating between playing with the ends and wandering further up to tug gently at her roots. She would hum softly every now and again, letting him know how much she appreciated the little act. It was soothing.

"I don't think I can afford to take a break." Esperanza sighed softly, "Finals are only a few months away."

João frowned. It hadn't occurred to him that she would be taking her exams soon — and leaving university. When he thought about it, her finals and the end of his season would probably coincide with each other. At least they'd have the summer to spend together before they went their separate ways.

"I know." he said, leaning down to kiss the crown of her head softly, "But I just think, maybe, you need to let yourself relax sometimes. Go out and have fun, even if it's just for one night. You're going to stress yourself out if you do nothing but study."

Esperanza knew he was right. That was another thing she'd learnt about João in the past few weeks — he was surprisingly good at giving advice.

"My teammates and I were planning on going to this club on Saturday." he went on. He'd almost completely forgotten about his conversation with Reece until now, but suddenly it seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask, "You could come too if you wanted?"

Esperanza sat up. Her eyebrows knitted together as she turned her face to look at João, "Are you sure? Would I not be intruding —?"

"No, no," he shook his head quickly, "A lot of them are bringing their girlfriends with them too, so it wouldn't just be you."

It took her a moment to process his words. Girlfriends. His teammates were bringing their girlfriends too. Esperanza's eyes widened. Did that group her in as one of the girlfriends now? João certainly hadn't asked her about it yet. Or maybe — as she feared at this point, she had a tendency to do — she was overthinking it.

"Girlfriend?" Esperanza arched her eyebrows. This time, as hers had just done, it was João's eyes that widened, as he sputtered over his own mistake (though was it a mistake if he'd felt no aversion to the idea?)

"Uhm, that's not —" he stammered, "I mean you're not my — if you don't want to be..."

Esperanza couldn't help but giggle. João didn't tend to blush nearly as much as she did, but right then, he turned beet red, arguably more so than she ever had. His tongue seemed to trip over the words he was trying to force out, until eventually, with a defeated sigh, he gave up altogether.

"I'm going to start again." He said sheepishly.

Esperanza grinned, "Yeah. Probably for the best."

"Do you want to come clubbing with me and my teammates on Saturday?"

João looked down to where her head was now rested on his shoulder, face turned so she could look him in the eye with that little, shy smile he'd come to adore – the one that lived in the back of his mind throughout the day when she wasn't around. He already hated being away from her, even if it was only for a few hours. João didn't think he would want to go clubbing unless Esperanza was with him (not that he ever would have told her that – he didn't want to come across as too clingy). He could only hope she wouldn't shoot him down. He'd feel too guilty to cancel on his teammates without good reason.

"Can Doutzen come?" Esperanza spoke after a moment of thought, "I think she needs something to help her unwind as well. She's been even more stressed than me."

"Sure." João nodded immediately. He would have let her bring just about anyone if it meant she would be by his side through the night. Besides, he was still yet to meet Esperanza's infamous best friend and classmate, despite all the stories she'd told him about her over the past couple of weeks – in some ways, João felt like he knew Doutzen already. He was eager to gain her approval (and not just because she seemed like the type of girl who would hunt him down if he ever hurt Esperanza).

"Ok." The aforementioned smiled brightly, "Looks like I'm coming clubbing with you then."

João didn't even try to dampen the beaming grin that spread across his face.

"Great. You're gonna love my teammates." He rambled excitedly, "They've been asking about you, y'know."

"Really?" Esperanza arched an eyebrow in surprise, "You told them?”

"Not exactly," João admitted, his cheeks flushing a faint pink colour, "They kind of guessed. Ben, Reece and Mason, that is. Ben saw me texting you. He put two and two together after that, I suppose."

She nodded in understanding. It hit her with a sudden jolt then that they were getting to the stage in their... relationship, where they had no choice but to involve other people; friends and family, that is. Doutzen and Millie were already fully aware of the situation, but her parents and brother... well, that was a different matter. Esperanza knew she'd have to tell them at some point though, especially if João was growing more comfortable with the idea of other people knowing about them. Still, it made her stomach churn to think of how her father and brother would react. She couldn't imagine it would be all that positive.

"So which of your teammates are going then?" Esperanza asked, only to distract herself from the thought of telling her family if nothing else.

"Reece, Mason and Ben are." João began, "Plus Reece's girlfriend Mia and Ben's girlfriend Cartia. Mason's single so he's coming alone." He trailed off in thought for a moment, trying to recall the details of their plans for Saturday and who else was so supposed to be there, "Kai's coming as well I think, with his girlfriend Sophia, and Kepa with his fiancé, Andrea. Oh, and the new player is coming as well – Mykhailo. He doesn't speak a lot of English, but he's really nice. They all are. You'll like them."

It certainly sounded to Esperanza as if she would. Something about the thought of João introducing her to his friends (as the girl he was kind of seeing, or as his girlfriend, though?) filled her stomach with butterflies – the good kind this time.

"I'm sure I will." She giggled softly. The look on João's face switched to an expression she'd seen before a couple of times in the past weeks, yet she couldn't quite place. Whatever it was, though, it made her feel all fuzzy inside. Esperanza liked that feeling. She hoped it would never go away.

As promised when he first invited her round for dinner, João logged on to his Netflix account and switched on the newest series they'd been binge watching together – Outer Banks. Season three to be specific. Esperanza had suggested it first, mostly because of Millie's own recommendation. João complained a little at first, not too keen on watching something that, in his words, was 'overhyped' (despite him never having actually watched it), but after the first few episodes of season one, he was hooked. Esperanza made sure to tease him about his own stubbornness at every chance she got, which João merely accepted at this point – if anyone knew how pointlessly stubborn he could be sometimes, it was him.

The light faded completely from the sky outside, and at some point, Esperanza's head fell on his chest again, as he continued running his hands through her hair. When he looked down, her eyes fluttered with exhaustion. She was clearly trying to stay awake for his sake, but João could see that she probably wouldn't last through another episode. So he reached for the controller on the arm of his chair and switched the TV off.

Esperanza blinked in surprise, "I thought you wanted to watch it?"

"You're tired." João answered plainly, "And it's no fun watching it without you — who else would annoy me asking questions every two minutes?" he reached out to poke her cheek playfully with his finger. Esperanza mumbled something incoherent (though he assumed it was probably unpleasant) and flipped him off. The small, sleepy smile remained on her face.

"You should have just woken me up when the episode finished." she argued half-heartedly, nuzzling her nose further into the crook of João's neck. He leaned down to press another kiss to the top of her head.

"We'll finish it another day." he whispered.

"Mhm. Ok."

Despite the two of them spending almost every waking hour of the day together in between training or classes, Esperanza had never actually stayed over at João's apartment before — not for lack of him offering; rather because of her own nerves. It may have sounded stupid, but that felt like crossing a barrier beyond just dating somehow. For her, it opened up a level of vulnerability that she'd never shown to anyone except her family and close friends. Not even her first boyfriend had shared a moment with her like that before (and he'd been her first everything).

Besides, Esperanza knew that as soon as she started to spend nights with him, that would bring up the subject of sex. And that certainly wasn't something she was ready to think about just yet. Especially after the last, disastrous one night stand she'd had, Esperanza had completely sworn off sex unless she was certain she'd found the right person. Whether or not João had already become that for her remained to be seen. The point was, Esperanza was far too nervous to let herself be that vulnerable with him yet. Never mind the fact that she was pretty sure her experience wouldn't even come close to João's, considering who he was and all the girls he'd been with over the years. What if she couldn't give him what he wanted?

"You good?" João's voice, a little raspy with exhaustion, broke her out of her spiralling thoughts. She lifted her head up to look at him, "You zoned out a bit there."

"Yeah, I'm fine." she dismissed, "Just thinking."

João smiled sweetly back down at her. He seemed so genuine when he looked at her like that, that Esperanza just couldn't believe she was imagining it. Someone who didn't care would never look at another person that way. He had to be feeling just as strongly about her as she felt about him. Esperanza knew he did. The thought, the certainty of it, eased her worries significantly.

Still smiling, she tilted her head upwards to kiss him. Slowly at first, a little like the first time, sweet and innocent. She could feel the corner's of João's lips turn up against her mouth. Her fingers trailed up the side of his neck, leaving feather-light touches that made his shiver, until they settled to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. He groaned slightly, threading his hands through her dark curls. Only for a moment, aware of the need to catch his breath, João pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, grinning like a madman.

"I thought you were tired." he murmured. Esperanza giggled softly. Her lips ghosted over his jaw.

"You woke me up." she replied.

They came together again in a flash, with a newfound intensity. João's tongue slipped inside her mouth, swallowing the faint groan she let out as his fingers tightened in her hair. Esperanza felt her heart pound against her chest like it was trying to jump straight out. No one had ever been able to make her feel things like this before. No one's mere touch on her bare waist had ever made her skin feel like it was burning. No one had ever felt so overwhelming, both in her body and her mind, when she kissed them. João might as well have been a drug. He made her mind go foggy and the world fade into the background. Nothing else mattered when she was with him.

When his lips travelled down her jaw and to her neck, Esperanza began to come to her senses. That familiar feeling of panic hit her as she felt him bite down gently on her skin. She stifled a groan, and brought her hands up to brace on either of his shoulders, pushing him back ever so slightly. João didn't hesitate to move away, but she was sure she saw a flash of hurt appear in his eyes for just a second. Guilt gnawed at her insides.

"I need to get back to my apartment." Esperanza smiled apologetically. She kissed him again once, just a small peck, hoping it might make up for her sudden change of heart. But João merely sighed.

"Can't you stay?" he almost pleaded, looking down at her with wide eyes and the tiniest of pouts on his swollen lips. Esperanza almost melted. It was a shame her nerves, for the time being, seemed to outweigh her need to be close to him.

"I've got an early class in the morning." she explained, "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."

João perked up ever so slightly at that, "Will you stay over on Saturday?" he asked, sitting up in a sudden movement that almost made her jump.

"We'll see." she smiled.

Well it wasn't a no, João thought hopefully. He'd asked her a few times if she wanted to stay at his apartment overnight (he'd even offered to take the spare bed just in case she wasn't comfortable sleeping with him) and every time the answer had either been a straight no or some kind of excuse. He would have been lying if he said it didn't bother him that she still seemed to be holding back, but João had realised by now that he was in this for the long game. Esperanza wasn't just some fling. He'd wait as long as he needed to for her to grow completely comfortable with him.

Reluctantly, a little lethargic from being curled up on the sofa for most of the last couple of hours, João and Esperanza stood up. He felt cold without the weight of her body pressed against his chest. It was an empty sensation, but he knew he had to deal with it. She'd made up her mind to go back to her apartment, and he couldn't do anything to change it.

Slowly, he walked her to the door. Esperanza had slipped her hand into his from the moment they stood up. She only let go once she was stood on the threshold between João's apartment and the dark, empty corridor outside. Her fingers fidgeted with the stitches of her jeans, itching to bury them into his soft hair again, though she knew if she did that she would probably never leave. Instead, Esperanza took a single, tentative step forward, raising up into her tiptoes to press a soft, goodbye kiss to his lips. João was smiling again when she pulled away. He couldn't even remember smiling so much in the past year as he had in the few weeks he'd known Esperanza. The effect she had on him was like nothing he'd ever known. But at the same time, it scared him.

"Bye." she whispered into the silence. Her voice made his heart skip a beat.

"Bye." he echoed.

She turned around. Her figure was swallowed by the darkness in the corridor almost immediately, but João watched, eyes squinted, until he could no longer see the faint outline of her silhouette. He closed the door, and retreated back into his empty apartment, already longing to see her smile again.

BONUS!

liked by @ reecefinsta, @ anziicabrera and 20 others

notjoao lindinha 🤍

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@ notjoao liked this comment

chillfactor official?

notjoao go away

hugoo._ this is new 😮

notjoao face time me

reecefinsta you gonna introduce us on saturday? 🙃

notjoao you’ll have to wait and see :)

#joao felix #joao felix fic #joao felix imagine #chelsea fc #joao felix x oc #football imagines #football fic #sliding doors

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purposefully-lost · 2 years ago

Text

Steph was home. And she definitely wanted to talk. Alex wasn't planning on bringing much with him when he left beyond the essentials; his clothes, his guitar, his cameras, a few select books. He'd figured he'd leave most of the furniture they'd scrounged together for Steph, since he didn't want to bulk up their load while driving. Packing, more than anything, simply meant going through all of his things to decide on what he'd be doing with everything he wasn't dragging with him.

"So this kind of happened quick, didn't it?" Steph asked, glancing at him from where she was helping stuff old clothes into a bag for donation. "I feel like you would've told me if you'd gotten together with Andy before--"

"I'm not with Andy. We're just.. moving together." Alex was at his bookshelf, trying to limit himself on what he'd carry with him. His yearbooks, of course, if only because he'd worked hard on them, the select few novels he returned to now and again. He picked up The Left Hand of Darkness and eyed the worn-out cover, wondering if he shouldn't just commit to getting a new copy before he finally put it into the box of things he was keeping anyway. Next to it was all Tolkien, and again he hesitated for a moment before he started to pull them from the shelf. "I guess we just.. decided we wanted to finally get out of here."

"Better now than never, huh?" Steph was shooting him a small smirk. "Well, you've gotta send me pictures from Montana. I bed it's so pretty up there."

"Yeah, I'm hoping to get to Yellowstone once we get up there. I'd love to.." Alex trailed off. The Return of the King sat in his hand, no more tattered now than it'd been when he'd first got it. He sat back on his heels, falling quiet while he looked it over. Steph peeked up at him, her brows furrowing.

"Alex?"

"Oh. Uh." He looked at her. She already knew- she'd known from the start that he'd been a little in love with Jon Stone. He held the book up so she could see it. "This was Jack's. Let me borrow it back in school. I- I just, uh.. kinda forgot about it."

Steph hummed, her gaze softening. A small, sad smile perched on her lips. "I.. used to hate seeing him with books," she said, laughing a little, not unkindly, as she met Alex's gaze again. "The way he wrote in them.."

"Yeah.. I used to think it was cute." He let the book sit in his lap, tracing his fingers over the cover. He still did. He wondered if Rabbit still wrote in his books. Chewing at his cheek, he reached out for one of the boxes he was planning on taking back to Andy's tonight, sliding it over to himself so he could tuck it inside. Then he sighed. It was getting late. "I should head out soon."

"Back to Andy's? You sure you aren't together?" Her expression pulled into a grin as he rolled his eyes. "Do you have to go there tonight? Danny and I were gonna go get drinks, you could.. come along. Before you go disappearing across the country."

Alex hesitated. He didn't want to stay gone for too long, but.. Andy had been exhausted when he'd left and Rabbit could use any rest he could get. It might be for the best if he didn't disturb them tonight. He finally shrugged, meeting her smile with one of his own. "Sure. Why not?"

-----

It was early morning when he got to Andy's building. He'd stayed out sort of late with Steph and her boy, but the lingering sense of worry he'd had concerning Rabbit since they'd found him had gotten him up at the near crack of dawn. He'd left a note for Stephanie, grabbed his things, and headed out. He only carried the one box as he walked upstairs to the apartment, figuring he'd grab the others later. The only thing he cared about inside them rignt now was the gift he'd brought along for Rabbit.

Well, less a gift, more a debt, but he hoped he'd like to see it nonetheless.

Alex tried to be quiet as he opened the door and stepped inside. He turned to re-lock it behind him, then hefted the box on his hip and set it down to the side of the room, where it'd be out of the way. He slipped off his shoes, tugged off his jacket, and left them both behind as he started towards the bedroom. He nearly missed Rabbit entirely before his eyes caught on something red.

The breath went out of his lungs the moment his gaze landed on him. He felt like he was still half asleep as he tried to pull the image together, Rabbit sitting on the ground, his new clothes drenched in blood. The sharp smell of it hit him in the same moment that he finally found his voice, causing him to almost gag against it. "Jack?"

He moved towards him and dropped to his knees in front of him, quickly reaching out to take his face between his hands. He turned it, gently, trying to search over bloodied skin for any sign of injury. His heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest. "Jesus christ. A- are you okay? Jack..." he paused as he tried to meet his gaze, looking for anything familiar behind it. He was struck with a deep sense of wrongness, not just because of the blood or the distant look in his eyes. Alex felt his breath catch. "Where's Andy?" He asked. Worry slipped strong into his voice as he glanced at the kitchen around them and tried to see any other sign of blood, or of struggle. It didn't even occur to him to wonder if Rabbit had hurt him-- but that didn't mean someone else hadn't. Swearing, he held onto Rabbit for just a few seconds longer before he forced himself to let go. "Stay here, okay? I- I'll be back, I just-- shit!"

He scrambled to his feet and started off down the hall, his head spinning with panic. "Andrew!" He called, kicking the bedroom door open. His hands were held out in front of them, sticky with the blood that'd been on Rabbit's face, and he used his shoulder to flick on the lignt. As he saw the sleeping figure, he let his breath out in a rush. "Andy! Andy- get the fuck up! Sh- shit, you okay?"

"Campbell!"

Andy peeked up from his food, beer, and paperwork with a wrinkle between his brows. His tired blue eyes met a pair of irritated browns, and immediately, he let them roll. Not Alan. Not now. The man was a pain in his ass and so were his kids. He'd gotten his girlfriend knocked up right out of graduation, and now his twins were on the baseball team. Good riddance; those two little chuckleheads were as bad as their father. Andy, unlike coach Wilson, didn't put up with it, and it made practice and games a yelling match between him and their piece of shit father.

"What's up, Alan?" He asked, pasting a polite smile on his cheeks as the man in question approached him. He was looking rough, like he'd thrown back a few too many drinks and was itching for a fight. Andy sighed. He didn't want to deal with that today, not after the bullshit with his mother he had to go through earlier.

"You quit? You quit on my kids?" Alan slurred, pointing a finger at him. "You're a bastard."

Glancing at the clock above the bar, Andy cocked a brow and frowned. "It's only three and you're fucking wasted, man. Why don't you go home?"

"Don't dodge! You fucking quit!" Alan shoved at his shoulder. "How the fuck are my kids supposed to compete? Get scholarships? We're counting on you!"

Andy furrowed his brow and shook his head. "They'll find another coach. I've got shit to take care of, and I'm not going to stick around just to babysit your snot-nosed brats." He said, his eyes starting to shine. "They're not my problem anymore, and frankly? Neither are you. Why don't you fuck off, Alan?"

Alan blinked before turning a very angry shade of red. Squeezing his fists at his sides, he only hesitated a second before grabbing Andy by the back of his jacket and throwing him on the floor of the bar. He dove down to throttle the man. He threw a punch and then another, the third being blocked by Andy's forearms. "You're a piece of shit, Campbell! You know what you mean to us!" He barked, shoving his hands away and swinging again. "You can't just quit!"

Andy rolled and threw one of his own. "It's my life!" He hissed, "I'm not being pushed around by you people anymore! Fuck you and your shitty kids!" Spitting the blood in his mouth at the man, he tried to scramble away only to get yanked back by the belt. Alan reached for the bar and grabbed the beer bottle Andy had been nursing. He smashed it against the floor and knocked him down again, just barely managed to slash him from his lip and up his cheek before he was being pulled off by the bar tender.

"Nowak! I told you last time if you started anything else, you're banned! Get out of here before I call the damn cops!" He hissed and shoved him towards the door. Watching him stumble out, he glanced down at Andy and helped get him up to his feet. "Fuck, he got you good. Want me to call the squad?"

Andy stumbled and touched his cheek only to hiss. His skin felt sticky with blood, and his fingers were warm and red when he pulled them away. Shaking his head, he let out a slow breath. "No. I'll be fine. Uh-... Sorry." He said softly. Pulling a few bills from his pocket, he handed them over before grabbing his things and slipping out, too.

By the time he got back to the apartment, his jacket was stained around the collar with blood. The side of his face and neck were sticky and red, and his body had taken on a slight tremble. He should've stopped at the ER, but he'd had enough of the public for today. He was sure he had some super glue to fix his face.

Rabbit peeked up from his spot on the couch next to Alex when he heard the door unlock and open. The smile that had pulled across his face immediately fell at the sight of Andy, his breath hitching in his chest. Setting the book in his lap aside, his eyes tracked him as he moved into the kitchen and started to dig around in the drawers. "...What happened to you?"

"Bar fight." Andy cursed and shoved the drawer closed. Moving to the next one, he shuffled around through the contents. After a second, he buckled and nearly sunk to the ground, just barely keeping himself up by holding onto the counter. "Come look for the superglue. I gotta.. I gotta sit down."

@purposefully-lost

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meaming-screals · 2 years ago

Note

i wanna ask, wich driver would you like to see on screaming meals?

Ohhhh this is a tough one because I honestly have a head cannon that Marcus will eventually do this full time and dive into Motorsport media if he doesn’t do racing himself so it’s open a lot of possibility or guests. (Or at least I hope he does.) Sorry if this is a little long, I've watched my fair share of motorsport podcasts and I just think this one is so special.

It's hard to determine but this is my list nonetheless:

1) people we have no idea about (photographers, managers, race engineers etc.)

I would absolutely love this idea. These are the people that spend the most time with drivers in the most unfiltered way and they’d be close enough to not hold back. They likely would've had enough of their (especially Marcus') neuroses to really just put people on blast. If I only could pick one though, my pick would be to have MP Motorsport’s Coordinator Jen. I think she's a real hidden powerhouse in the paddock, taking on so many vital roles during her career and I always love hearing stories of the behind the scenes that keep this crazy travelling circus running. With how hectic everything gets, she's bound to have crazy stories of things going wrong or figuring things out last minute. Also, imo, she always puts out some of the best photos of the weekend. They're always so candid and full of personality which is really hard to capture well in photos. She may be more reserved but this would also be the perfect opportunity for Clem (the newest co-host in town) to solo host or only host with James along with Felipe as a returning guest following his championship win. Jen would have the comfort of two people she's already close with as well as someone who's able to be more inquisitive, structured, and relatable to the audience. Would also love to hear her perspective on what it's like as a third party, non-racer, watching someone go through the motions of winning a championship. (Also big bonus: she's a Kiwi!)

2) Paris Armstrong

Younger sister energy goes hard and you know we’d get the most embarrassing stories about Marcus from her because at the end of the day, he’s not an F2 Motorsport driver; he’s a pain in the ass that she’s unfortunately blood-related to. It’s also always interested me that most drivers move away from home so early in their lives. It’d be great to see them touch on what growing up was like given that they now live in London together/originally started the Screaming Meals Instagram together.

3) Lando Norris

He’s been mentioned quite a bit on the podcast already through karting stories even though they don't claim to be close. I think his dry humour, quick wit, and generally cluelessly upbeat personality would be really fun to have on the podcast. Not to mention, having him on the podcast I think would be the best foray into having higher profile F1 personalities on the podcast that aren't close friends. (Screaming Meals special where they all go karting again for old times sake? Ft. Callum Ilott? We can only hope for now.)

4) Liam Lawson

Triple the trouble. I know they technically don’t get on well or aren’t particularly close, but it’d be fun to hear the return of Marcus going full kiwi because at this point, Clem sounds more kiwi than Marcus does. It's also because I wonder if James has any stories of bumping into Liam during the NZ karting circuits because it's such a small circle. Liam is pretty chaotic so I think it'd be interesting to see what the dynamic is like. I'm pretty sure in this case, to have a non-awkward episode there might have to be a secondary guest. The obvious pick would be Juri Vips because he's close with both Liam and Marcus but uh- idk how that would really work.

5) Robert Schwartzman

While bringing Jehan, Callum, and/or Enzo on the same episode. I'd love for them to recount their old Prema days. Some of the wildest stories we've heard so far were from the episode with Callum so there's bound to be more from their end as well. I'm mostly thinking about that boxing story between Rob and Enzo. (Another specials idea where they do a boxing challenge to relive that one training camp?)

6) Guanyu Zhou

Although we don't see it as much, Zhou does happen to be quite close with them. (As pictured in the latest Screaming Meals IG story.) That would be something really interesting to listen to because Zhou is such a reserved character on the Paddock. He's definitely got a sense of humour and I think having a space like Screaming Meals where they can just banter and go back and forth, we'd be able to see a new/hidden side of him.

7) James Harvey Blair (The man himself)

James, James, James. Ngl I think he really carries this show. He's given us some of the greatest moments so far and I think people really overlook a host like James. For podcasts, it's so important to have a host or a character that the audience can channel themselves through and in this case, I think it's James. He's always so on top of keeping the questions going and while he is the brunt of a lot of jokes, I hope he really gets the love and appreciation he deserves. (I think sometimes you can see the jokes kind of get to him) Having a podcast on him and what his story is besides "I'm just a no-name insurance broker" would be special. If anything, having it as a birthday special would be really nice. Also, what is it like being in a space that he was so close to for so many years while not driving himself? Growing up, it's so hard to let go of things that are so familiar to you; that basically built and raised you as a person. I'm always so interested in that narrative, of drivers that had to at some point make the decision or were forced into making the decision of stopping motorsport. (Also James casually just name dropping he works for Lloyd's like it's not one of the world's biggest and oldest powerhouses when it comes to insurance and finances???)

8) Rory, the Editor

Just let me know what goes on behind those cuts and bleeps. LOL but all jokes aside I just want to know how Rory ended up as their editor and what it's like travelling and working for Screaming Meals. What were his other experiences before this? Was he working in motorsport or did he somehow just fall into this??? So many questions for the floating voice off camera. Again, another birthday special featuring Rory would be really fun and a great way to show their appreciation for the work he does on the podcast.

Anyways, there's a reason I love this podcast sm and It's because I think it really offers what the sport is missing/needs in order to progress and grow into their newer audience. People like to hate on new fans or fans joining just for the personalities of the drivers but those aren't reasons to discredit them as fans of the sport. They watch the races, keep up with what's going on and if that doesn't make you a fan I don't know what does. Often what the sport needs are these personalities to draw people in first, especially when it comes to grasping a younger demographic that you need in order to build a long lasting fanbase so the sport doesn't die out. Older motorsport media doesn't do a good job of hooking in a newer fanbase, especially for F2. It's dry and it often seems too overproduced to really get genuine stories from drivers who are a lot newer and shyer to the media ring. We're just seeing the emergence of an audience looking for these more modern media outlets such as WTF1, PitStop, and TG1F to name a few. Screaming Meals is in the optimal place to become a motorsport media mainstay and is already quickly becoming a ticket for a huge uptick in F2 support. This could translate to more eyes and opportunities as a whole for the series and feeder drivers itself. Too bad the FIA and F2 media don't see more value in this, but hey, they can now just take the show and run with it without having to bend to the whim of some mega media conglomerate

#meaming screals ask #screaming meals #screaming meals podcast

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luimagines · 3 years ago

Note

In lieu of what happened yesterday with Wolfie... may I raise you with Bunny Legend?

He despises the form. Why, of all the things he could have been, had to be a bunny? A tiger or even a dog would have been better than that a fluffy, weak... pink mammal! It's not fair that Twilight get a cool one instead of him, which is completely stupid since he is one of the oldest, and far more seasoned in salt of the group. On top of that, how dare he stealing your attention like that!? How is he supposed to make a move if Twilight is always hanging around you as Wolfie? He wants you to be the only one to hear how he feels about you...

...And, maybe, is also because he is terrified of you turning him down, the ache in his heart would be worse than a stab with Twilight watching him get rejected...

But this is why he have been named as the "Veteran" and not something else; he has dealt with a lot of situation before with far less objects at his reach to help him, but he always manages to get through it. He's very cunning and is quick to think on his feet...

...Or at least, almost all of the time he is. Erring is most common when you aren't at your most calm, isn't it?

Legend admits that he acted out of desperation: you had him at his wits end! But it's hard to feel frustrated with himself when you are nuzzling your face on top of his head, little squeaks of happiness and a high pitch voice while you baby talked to him, gussing about his very soft fur and really cute vest. You even called him handsome! You never do that when he is in his human form, you don't even spare him a glance when he rolls his sleeves, making a big of a show of flexing his arms, stretching out and pushing out his chest and arms back, all so you can see how muscular he, too, is. But the only thing you do is oogle at Twilight-- as if he isn't enough of a menace to him-- and that idiot of Mr. Captain when they wrestle together, shirtless. He just wants your pretty eyes on him, those plump lips, cherry from how you are bitting them, shamelessly devouring the two men with your gaze...

...Ugh, just pay attention to him, okay!? He will shower you with all the love and adoration you deserve and more! So please, direct that intensity to him, and only him.

A poke to his furrowed brows broke him out of his mind. Legend cautiously looks up at you. He mentally kicks himself as he is met with your worried eyes, the last thing he wanted was for you to feel any type of negative emotions, so that glint spurred him on rubbing his furred cheek on your free open palm, wanting to change the expression out of your face. It seem to work, you opened your eyes more and even giggled a little before scratching under his chin with two of your fingers.

"Got lost for a second there, buddy?" You whisper. Even if your tone was soft, the vibrations travelled from your chest pressed against the back of his small form engulfing it in a warm and pleasant feeling.

Legend closed his eyes and let all of his weight rest on you, not that you minded, of course. Being the sunshine that you are, you giggled cutely once more and tugged him closer to you, to the point of almost being curled around him. It was a rare sensation; he felt protected for once instead of being the one providing said feeling, he must admit that it was quite comforting, but Legend will forego ever feeling like this again in exchange of you being safe forever, you will always be his priority.

"Hmm..." you pecked his head. "Y'know, you remind me of someone that I like a lot"

His long ears fell flat on either side of his head as his heart stilled.

Like a lot...?

You... already have someone that you hold dear?

You seem to miss how his body grow stiff between your arms as you continued in drowning him in affection. What used to be a delightfull experience, now, it hurts him more than any wound he have ever sustained in his life, more than any burn from fire lizards or the cold, prickly bite of exhaustion of his tired body as he dragged himself through every and more corners of Hyrule.

Your hands played with the small tuff of fur on his head, but Legend's mind was far too gone to properly feel the touch. In its place, his heart dropped and shattered, somehow still beating as he felt the fastening Thumping in his stomach. How foolish and naive of him, to ever believe that he got an opportunity with you. Even the people that you two are travelling with can barely stand him, and they are supposed to be the same person.

Is he really that despicable?

"It's actually funny."

Funny how stupid he is, isn't he?

"He came back a few nights ago, very upset."

Well, that guy clearly doesn't now a thing about suffering. He isn't the one getting his heart demolish while in the arms of the love of his life like him.

You pinched the tip of his left ear and softly lifted it up. "He came back with his hair the same shade of pink that you have! In my opinion" you lean down a Little, as if you were about to share a secret "He looks very cute like that. A shame He will never let me say that to his face..."

Pink? Like the rose tinted glasses he have been wearing all this time-- Uh? Hair?

Are you... Please, don't give him hope like that. He can't take another loss in his life, because if you don't mean it, he would be devastated for good.

He felt your body shifting a little before you let go of him to instead hook your hands under his armpits, slowly lifting him up then turning around his body so now the two of you can be face to face. His tiny nose twitched as you leaned in a poked the tip of your own nose to his pink one, rubbing a little before you leaned back again. Legend layed his pawns on top of your chest, eagerly following your movements when he saw you opening your mouth to continue, he didn't want to miss anything that you are about to say:

"He is a big dork, with an even bigger ego. Very handsome too and... Ugh, Legend, why you have to be such a cactus all the time?" You finished with a tinge of frustration in your voice.

In a normal scenario, he would have argued about that last statement, but he couldn't because of two good reasons: one, he is still in his dark world form, it would be very weird if this bunny you found in the Forrest acted as if it was personally insulted by your words. And second...

You actually like him.

Him, With all of his flaws and bad attitude, you still found and assigned a space in your heart for only him, Legend.

Just as how down he got, his spirit raised up again with vigor, his heart soared from the dark pit of grief that held it a couple of minutes ago taking its rightful place at the peak of the shrine dedicated to your whole being. He didn't even noticed that his skin was ice cold until a burst of heat shot from his feet to the tip of his ears that acted as a catalyst as he threw himself towards your chest, his body felt light as a feathe, he tried his best to fight off the desire to laugh or shout out this waves of overwhelming energies.

Oh, how your chuckles were like the tunes from the most rich instrument in the entire universe being played by the goddesses themselves, more revitalizing than any potion or fairy pond.

"Do you think I should say something, buddy?" You returned his hug.

Legend furiously nodded his head, not think if it will appear weird that he could understand you. You squeezed the tiny bunny between your arms before putting him at arms length:

"Thank you, buddy. Somehow, now I have the confidence to talk to that prickly bitch--"

"--A PRICKLY WHAT???"

...Uh oh.

Even the common noises of the Forrest fell silent at his outburst.

Legend didn't had a second to try and amend his mistake as, suddenly, his vision was thrown into a spiral; everything looked blurry and the wind on his fur was a clear indicator of how hard you launched him away from you. He felt slightly proud at you quick reaction time but...

...No amount of fur can soften the crash on the hard forrest floor, just his luck that he didn't fell on the conveniently batch of dry leaves right beside him. It hurt, not as how bad his heart was hurting, but painful nonetheless.

He just really hopes you won't tell the group about the weird, pink bunny that can talk, or else he won't ever heard the end of it from Sky and Twilight.

-----------

AND IT'S DONE CKSKFJEJCUC IT TOOK ME A LOT OF TIME JUST TO SAY "Legend tried to pull a Twilight and got yeeted out of existence"

I think that Legend has self esteem problems! With what happened in A Link to the past, it's hard to overcome a whole nation hating your guts when you only wanted to help.

You really just said "If no one will provide me with Legend simpage, I'll do it myself"

I'm grinning so much right now. I ended up biting my lip a bit harder than I intended to because I almost screamed at the end when he finally spoke up.

The whole time I was like "But Legend can speak? Why is that not- Oh that's why."

Also, describing how Legend tries to peacock as he stretches to catch the Reader's attention *chef's kiss*.

#pinky replies #You can't do this to me #not like this

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ibuki-loves-you · 4 years ago

Text

Trigger Happy Havoc Girls with an S/O who is like Mikan

Warnings: Mikan's personality/actions

Mod Ibuki: Hey hey hey!! Sorry for the long wait on this :/ I hope it was worth it, though!

Kyoko:

Kyoko was immediately worried for your safety

She had a lot of questions

Why were you so shy? Had you been through something?

She kept those questions to herself though

If someone ever made fun of you, she’d glare

Literally just walk up to you, wrap on arm around your waist and the other on your arm

And glare

If you ever took a fall in front of her she’d carefully lean down and help you up, suggestive or not

Although she might blush a bit if it was a suggestive position

“There, you’re alright. It was just a small trip, thankfully.”

If you ever offered to take your clothes off for her, she would be appalled

“Love, I don’t want you to take your clothes off because I’m not in a particularly good mood. Bad moods are normal, that doesn’t mean you take your clothes off every time it happens. Don’t offer that to me unless you personally want to do it.”

Kyoko is not someone you can look at and feel as if she’s mad at you, because she makes it clear if she is

But if you did think she was, she’d be pretty upset

“No, love. I’m not mad. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Nothing at all. I honestly don’t think I can be mad at you. You just seem to make everything better.”

Kyoko’s heart skips a beat whenever you’re around <3

Hina:

Hina LOVED YOU

The minute you two met she did not let you out of her sight for long periods of time

She was just worried someone would hurt you or take advantage of you

If someone ever made fun of you, she’d be so mad

No one wants to deal with mad swimmy baby

“That is so rude, you know!? That was completely uncalled for! There was absolutely no reason to say that! Now apologize!”

If you ever took a fall in front of her, she would honestly fall too just to make you feel less embarrassed

She’d cover you if need be, though

Either with clothing or with herself when she “falls”

If you ever offered to take your clothes off for her, she’d be in shock

Mainly because you offered it to her because you thought she was upset

“What!? Please, S/O, no! Don’t say that! Taking your clothes off won’t make me feel better, cuddles will! Get over here! Because of that statement, I demand you let me cuddle you!”

If you ever thought Hina was mad, which is rare, she’d he so upset

“Baby! No! Not at all! I could never be mad at you! I swear! Your face is just too adorable to be mad at!”

Swimmer baby just wants your happiness above all

Celestia:

Celeste would never admit it if anyone asked

But she loved you the minute she laid eyes on you

Your personality only made her want to be with you more

Not many people dared to bother you, but if an unlucky soul did try to do such a thing…

Celeste would give them a run for their money

“Are you fucking kidding me!? How dare you!? Why don’t you crawl back into whatever ditch you crawled out of and leave my significant other alone! Do I make myself clear!?” She’d turn to you and give you a soft smile. “Come on, dear. Let’s go get some tea to cheer you up, yes?”

If you fell in front of her, she wouldn’t be able to catch you without falling herself, but she’d immediately take your hands and help you up

“Come now, darling. Don’t cry, it was an accident. Everything is alright.”

If you ever offered to take your clothes off for her, it would take a second to click

But once it did her reaction was similar to Kyoko’s

“Darling, I don’t wish for you to take off your clothes merely because Yamada put me in a foul mood. I would much rather you keep said clothes on and have a cup of tea with me, maybe some conversation as well. Please don’t offer yourself to me out of pity.”

If you ever thought she was made at you, she honestly thought she was gonna cry

“W-What? Dear, no. Not one bit. Not one ounce of me is angered by you. I love you far too much to be mad at you. Now, come here and let me hug you.”

Celeste truly does care about you, more than she has cared for anyone before <3

Sakura:

Protective

That’s it

Sakura wants your safety above all, because she knows how shy people can be taken advantage of easily

If anyone dared to make fun of you, oh boy

Sakura is fucking terrifying

“I suggest you run before I snap you in half.”

That’s all it takes to send them on their way

If you fell in front of her, she would definitely be able to catch you

And she would!

But if you did manage to miss her arms, she’d pick you right back up and hold you

“See? I got you. Everything is okay.”

If you offered to take your clothes off for her, she’d be calmer, but nonetheless upset

“Hey, don’t do that. I don’t want you because of your body. I want you because of your personality. That’s what I fell in love with. Don’t offer yourself to me, or anyone else. Ever. It’s your body, you can most certainly choose what to do with it.”

If you thought she was angry with you, she’d be so quick to tell you otherwise

“No, not at all. I am not mad in the slightest. Even if I was, I’d never take my anger out on you. That’s wrong, and I love you too much to even think about doing that.”

With Sakura as your girlfriend, you will always be protected. And that’s a promise

Mukuro:

Mukuro is shy, but definitely not as shy as you

Like Sakura, she wanted your safety above all

Let it be from others or her cruel sister

If someone ever made fun of you, she’d be pretty angry

Hell, she may put those skills of hers to good use

“Hey. Don’t let me hear you say something like that again. Ever. That’s just plain disgusting.”

If you ever took a fall in front of her, her reflexes are extremely fast, so she’d try her absolute best to catch you

More often she does, but on the off chance she’s unsuccessful, she’d apologize with a bright blush

“I-I’m sorry, love. I tried to catch you, uh, I’m sorry. Here, grab my hands.”

If you offered to take your clothes off for her, she’d immediately say no

“S-S/O! No! No, I-I don’t want you to do that! I-I’m not in a bad mood, and even if I was I wouldn’t want you to take your clothes off just to try to improve my mood! Please don’t offer that to me, that’s practically violating you! And I don’t want to do that!”

If you ever thought she was mad at you, poor girl might cry

“L-Love, I’m not mad at all. I-I promise. Even if I was mad, I don’t think it could be caused by you in all honesty. I love you, okay?”

Soldier baby’s heart go brrr

Sayaka:

Shy or not, Sayaka’s a cute blushy mess around you

She still teases you in a friendly manner, but always makes sure you know she’s only playing

If anyone over bothered you, she’d be incredibly salty

Like, pettiness and all

“Oh, so that’s how you’re gonna be? Well, I’ll have you know that my significant other is NOT gonna do that. You’re a rude person and I hope karma hits you hard.”

If you took a fall in front of her, she’d screech so sound and try to catch you, but would most likely fail

When she saw that you were embarrassed, like Hina she would trip to make you feel better

“See, S/O? It’s fine! Now we both tripped, hehe! Isn’t that funny!”

If you ever offered to take your clothes off for her, she’d hug you immediately and try to make you happy

“Nope! I don’t want that, okay? I want to kiss your cute face! Not rub up on you because you want to make me happy! Now c’mere, so I can kiss your cute face!”

If you ever thought she was mad at you, though, she’d be really sad

“What? No, I’m not mad at all! Let alone at you! I promise, S/O. Even if I was mad, I’d have a peaceful conversation. Not a screaming match about it! Now, give me a hug!”

Sayaka will hug you as much as you please, as long as it makes you happy <3

Toko:

Toko thought you were annoying at first

But then she realized how similar you two were

Not long after, she fell in love with you

Just like in those cheesy novels she writes

If someone ever bothered you, she’d get pretty mad

Lowkey considers letting Syo out

“H-Hey, asshole! T-That’s a r-real d-dick t-thing to say! S-So w-why d-don’t you just g-go back to w-whatever ditch y-you crawled o-out of a-and d-die!”

If Syo was around when someone bothered you, well I think we know how that'll go

They aren't around anymore, especially if they were a pretty boy

If you ever fell in front of her, she’d lowkey get second-hand embarrassment, but would help you up anyways

“Hey, l-look, you’re fine. N-Not a scrape or anything. Y-You’re okay.”

Syo would leap into action immediately and pull you to your feet

"See!? It's like you never even fell! You're okay! No tears, I hate seeing you cry!"

If you ever offered to take your clothes off for her, she’d freak the fuck out

“W-What!? N-No! D-Don’t do t-that! K-Keep your clothes o-on! I-I’m n-not mad! E-Even if I w-was, I w-wouldn’t w-want you to s-strip! Y-You’re t-too p-pretty for t-that!”

If Syo was around, she would as well

"What!? Oh no no no, this just won't do! You're body is far to marvelous to be shown so willingly, y'know that? Don't let others see it so easy! Even if it is just me! Doesn't matter!"

If you thought she was mad at you, she’d scoff at first, but then realize you were being serious

“What? I’m not m-mad at you. W-Why would I b-be mad at y-you? I-I have no reason to b-be. D-Don’t say that, I-I’d tell you if I-I was mad at you...S-Speaking as if I-I c-could g-get mad at y-you.”

Syo would latch onto you and hug you, giving you a little spin

"No, dollface! I'm not angry at all! See? I'm happy! So happy! Especially because my baby-cakes is here! Now, c'mon! Gimme a smooch!"

Even though she’d deny it at first, Toko really does love you

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faulty-writes · 3 years ago

Text

Alright, since all you lovely followers of mine seem to enjoy Rumi. I came up with this little idea. I hope you enjoy it.

The 5 Times Rumi Let You Touch Her Tail

You will always remember the first time you touched Mirko's tail, you had originally just wanted her autograph. "Yeah yeah! Speak up there, kid! I don't got all day!" she replied as she stomped over to you, making you feel even smaller than you were. You somehow managed to stutter out what you wanted, but you didn't seem to be up to Mirko's standards.

"Ya gotta be more confident than that," she said with a snicker before reaching over to grasp your chin. Your heart sped up from both her touch and that smirk that played across her face. "But you have such a pretty face, I guess I can do you a damn favor," the chuckle that followed her words wasn't exactly comforting.

"What's your name!?" she demanded, causing you to flinch back. Yet again you managed to stutter out an answer, "I like 'pretty face' more, so that's what I'm gonna call ya from now on!" she snapped your autograph book closed before handing it back to you.

When she turned to walk away, you noticed that fluffy white tail of hers and desperately called out to her. Of course, you felt a little shy to ask her but somehow you managed and to your surprise, Mirko looked shocked or lost as to where the question of touching her tail came from.

"Well, pretty face got confidence that fast huh? I like that!" you cried out when she playfully punched your shoulder. But that was nothing compared to when she grabbed your shirt collar and pulled you close to her. "Do it then," she said, "show me what ya can do when you set out to do it pretty face," you wondered how long that nickname would last.

You hesitantly reached around the curve of her hip until you felt that soft fur brush against your fingertips. Your lips parted in awe as you slowly allowed your fingers to thread through her tail. It was soft and so very fluffy. Mirko seemed to enjoy the small bit of attention, however, it didn't last as long as you would have hoped.

"Getting a little too close to unleashing the real beast in me, pretty face," Mirko said, her tail twitching like mad due to your touch. "I'll see ya later, or maybe never," you frowned as you watched her jump from the pavement and into the air.

You knew this world was dangerous, but you had never imagined getting caught in the middle of a villain attack. It seemed like it happened all at once. Perhaps you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, but all you could remember is the explosions and bloodshed.

Luckily, much like they were trained to do. Several heroes came onto the scene and you got a front-row seat to see how they handled the villain. Threats being thrown back and forth before more blood spilled. You happened to be cradled up next to the fellow individuals who had the displeasure of being a part of this terrifying experience.

Then, she arrived. "Having fun without me!? Jeez, what the hell!?" her voice was unmistakable and you heard several gasps and cheers as Mirko flew through the air. Her silver hair flowing behind her and that same smirk you saw before was painted across her face. "I'll kick your ass, you hear me!?" it was strange how one person could give you so much hope.

Despite being covered in soot and minor injuries, you got lost in the moment watching Mirko dish out some punishment. Cracking the pavement with her powerful leg strength and confusing the villain with her speed. Watching them fall bit by bit until they were finally defeated and Mirko was left panting, sweating, and victorious.

"Hell yeah! Think you can actually mess with this rabbit hero?!" she seemed rather happy as the villain was dragged away and the search and comfort of the civilians began. Mirko seemed to spot you right away and offered you her hand, "Ya don't look too damn injured. Shake off your fear!" she instructed as she pulled you to your feet.

But even so, you couldn't help but continue to tremble which caused Mirko to grow confused. She wasn't the best person to provide comfort, "Hey aren't you the kid that wanted my autograph before!? Yeah...yeah pretty face, right!?" she questioned with a confident grin.

"I know what to do," she slowly turned and presented her tail. "Ya liked petting it, right?" she questioned. "Go on then, touch it," she said, almost like you were annoying her. But nonetheless, you did as she instructed and reached over to run your fingers through that soft fur once more.

Normally if someone desired to be a hero, they would enroll into one of the many hero schools Japan offered, but due to selective pickings and strict classroom sizes, this wasn't always possible which meant many of those that wanted to be heroes never got the chance. But due to increased villain activity, your opportunity came.

That is Japan offered the chance for young adults to participate in an advanced hero course which would then permit them to be able to use a temporary hero license under the authority of a trusted pro hero.

"Pff," Mirko couldn't help but snort before her laughter broke through. It wasn't something you appreciated, but in a way, it was nice to see her smile. "Didja finally grow a spine there, pretty face!?" she questioned before slapping you on the back, sporting her famous smirk.

You were originally hesitant to tell her, mostly due to the fact that you were afraid she'd do exactly what she did. Laugh at you, but she didn't seem completely against the idea. But, she let you know her opinion nonetheless. "Guess ya aren't the wimpy wannabe I thought ya were! Don't expect any recommendation from me, but I give ya permission to kick some ass!"

While you were happy with her attempted vote of confidence, you found yourself being nervous yet again to ask Mirko the question that had been plaguing your mind. But she seemed to catch onto the fact that you wanted something. "Speak up!" she snapped. "Your pretty face doesn't look so pretty when you're confused," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

You were actually embarrassed to ask, but yet again you found yourself stuttering the question out. That is if you could pet her tail for good luck. Mirko seemed confused, "Ya got a tail petting fetish or something pretty face?!" she rolled her eyes before turning around, her tail wiggling from side to side.

"Just make it quick!" she said, though she was still wearing a smirk and you suspected it was due to the fact she somehow knew you were nervous. But nonetheless, you reached out and allowed your fingers to run through that soft fur for the third time. Who knows? Maybe it would bring you some well-deserved luck.

Pro hero life was more than you thought it would be, it was part exciting and part terrifying. Between the praise and hatred, it was the best and worst of both worlds. Though you weren't high on the charts by any means, you were catching the attention of the existing pro heroes which included Mirko.

It started off as a simple invitation, "Hey there pretty face good job out there!" Mirko said as she yet again slapped you on the back. "I didn't think ya had the spine to back you up but turns out I was wrong," her words made you feel a little better, but you had never expected her to ask you what she did next.

Drinking wasn't normally something you did, and this would probably be the last time you experienced it. But you couldn't honestly turn down an invitation to drink with one of the top female heroes. So you accepted, but you should have known the consequences of going out in public with Mirko.

"Another round, damn it!" Mirko screamed as she slammed the shot glass back onto the counter, it was safe to say you were beyond tipsy at this point as you could only laugh at the rabbit hero's antics. You lazily draped your arm around her shoulders and repeated the order. By the end of the night, you were too intoxicated to remember the series of events that led to Mirko bringing you home.

But when you woke in the morning, it wasn't that hard to figure out what had happened. Your head was pulsing, painfully aching as a cruel reminder of your irresponsible actions. But what shocked you more was the fact you had woken up next to Mirko who still happened to be sleeping away peacefully.

How could you help yourself? You'd never try to purposely take advantage of anyone. But seeing the rabbit hero sprawled out on the bed, covered by nothing but a thin sheet was a sight most could only hope to see. However, you were more focused on that tail that peeked out from under the sheet. You just hoped you wouldn't wake her as you reached over to once again pet that tail.

The news was a shock to the hero world, the previously known solo hero was engaged. Most thought it wouldn't happen, in fact, heroes almost never got the chance at their own happy ending due to their dedication to saving others. But, Mirko seemed to want to prove the world wrong.

You hadn't expected it, but throughout your hero career, Mirko and yourself had your special moments. Despite her own rule of avoiding love and not getting into any messy relationships. But somehow you were the exception, hell maybe you put a spell on her the first time you met, or maybe you were just special.

Either way, she found that she was growing overly attached to you. Making hasty decisions and she hated it. There had to be a way to solve this, to figure out how to rid herself of the constant worry she felt when you were away from her, and maybe most wouldn't think the solution would come in the form of a marriage proposal.

"Well!?" she snapped as she grabbed your hand, ready with the ring. Casting a glare your way, but you were a little too shocked to answer her. Though the ring was beautiful, painted a gold-white color with one jewel that was the same color as Mirko's eyes. Somehow, you stuttered out a reply and Mirko grinned as she pushed the ring onto your finger.

Despite the wedding feeling rushed, Mirko took care of most of the weight. Which included the invitations, wedding location, catering, and so on. She even insisted on paying for your wedding attire, though you were somewhat against the idea. It was hard to argue with your new fiancee.

Though Mirko looked beautiful on the day of your wedding, she neglected the traditional belief that seeing the bride before the wedding could bring bad luck. "Quit your damn worrying!" she snapped as she stood there in her wedding dress. The white fabric showing off her every curve.

But the best feature of her dress was the small cut out that allowed her tail to peek through, "Are ya ready to get this show on the road yet!? People are waitin'!" she exclaimed and you couldn't help but chuckle as you stepped close to her and placed your hand on the small of her back. Your fingers slowly reaching down to play with her tail yet again before you nodded.

#rumi x reader #mirko x reader

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bunnyywritings · 4 years ago

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a shy, goth s/o who goes by they/them pronouns

requested by anon; HIII!! I recently started watching soul eater and i finallyyy found someone who writes for them so im reallllly exited!! So i wanted to request something!! Can you do like how Crona, Kid, Soul and Stein would be like in a relationship with a shy goth s/o who uses they/tem prounons (sometimes she). Also when they talk about the things they like they get superrr extroverted and could talk for hourss about it! Also would it heart to ask if you could make cronas a lil longer, they are my comfort character🤧Also wanted to ask if you did emergency requests! If you dont that’s totally fine!!

[a/n: thank you for this request, my lovely anon! It gave me the way to get back into a writing flow again. I quite enjoyed writing for these characters since I don’t get very many Soul Eater requests, as for emergency requests...go ahead and send them in but I apologize if I don’t get it done quickly, seeing as I’m not quite that active on here like I was before. for now, enjoy! - yours truly, bunnyy -`ღ´-]

- truthfully, i think he'd be a little confused at first

- about the whole pronouns thing

- despite being friends with Crona

- so, he'd approach Maka, Crona, and Subaki about it

- he'd be a little embarrassed because he mistakenly exposed his HUGE crush on you

- Subaki coos at him and thinks it's sweet

- Crona is glad to help, knowing that using they/them pronouns is still a foreign concept for some people

- Maka would definitely tease him but ultimately, she's glad he had asked for help

- after realizing that it was a rather simple concept to understand

- he'd get SOOO cocky

- he absolutely loves your style

- obviously thinks you're the coolest person to ever exist

- now the only thing in his way??

- your shyness

- he's only interacted with you a few times but because he tends to be a bit abrasive, you usually keep your distance

- the few times that Stein had called on you in class to answer a question was the most he's really heard you talk

- you were good friends with Kid though

- so you ended up hanging out with the group a lot

- he's seen how passionate you could get whilst talking about your hobbies or about things you liked to Kid or Liz

and Patty

- it made him a gajillion times more attracted to you

- after FINALLY gaining the courage to ask you out (you can thank Black Star for telling him that it wasn't cool to be such

a wimp)

- he'd be on cloud nine

- being in a relationship with Soul would be fun

- he'd be a little awkward at first but he'd soon ease into it

- he's really good at respecting your pronouns

- in the case that he slips up, which i don't really think he would, but if he does he'd feel absolutely terrible

- like he'd beat himself up so hard

- he would do anything to make it up to you

- 100% would cook you a super nice dinner as an apology

- if anybody ever made fun of your style or your pronouns, it's over for that person

- they'd have, not only Soul and Maka on their ass, but they'd have Black Star and Tsubaki, AND the literal son of the grim

reaper and his twin pistols

- overall, Soul would be such a sweetheart

- you make him so, so soft

- gosh i love him so much

- okay

- Kid is definitely somebody who would be up front with his feelings

- he knows about your use of different pronouns and he really admires your bravery to be so open about it

- i feel like he's definitely thought about going by he/they pronouns

- thinks it's absolutely adorable how shy you are

- despite being shy and closed off, he never overlooked you like some students or other staff

- he knows how clever you are

- don't even get me started on your style

- he love love loves your goth style

- especially when you wear anything with skulls on it

- when it comes to his feelings, Liz gets fed up with how ridiculous he's being

- she's watched him break down crying because the stripes on his head aren't symmetrical and someone as precious as you

would think he's trash

- which obviously isn't true

- he sees you out on the balcony, sat on the ledge and book in hand

- he's noticed you with it a lot but it's only the 1st book of a series

- he figures that maybe you just haven't had the chance to find the rest of them

- after some research, he finds that the series had been completed but because of the lack of readers, it was put out of

production and copies were pulled out of libraries and bookstores

- but alas, he had found one of the only complete series in existence in somewhat excellent condition

- it was quite expensive but that was really no problem

- he had wrapped up the set and had gifted them to you with a note and as you read the note, your cheeks burned

- he confessed his feelings

- the next day, you had approached him and thanked him for the gift as well as confessing your own feelings for him

- he thought the stuttering and flushed cheeks was adorable

- 100% the power couple at the DWMA

- sorry i don't make the rules

- Liz and Patty are definitely in love with you, especially with how versatile your fashion is

- Patty has definitely volunteered to paint your nails before

- MATCHING RINGS

- Kid definitely gets you a et of skull rings, just like his

- will go beast mode on anyone who makes fun of your style and/or use of pronouns

he's be such a gentleman and he practically worships the ground you walk on

- as he should

- Stein would be quite used to the use of they/them pronouns since he has students who go by them

- when there's word of a new teacher at DWMA who goes by they/them, he's quite intrigued

- so much so that he would volunteer to show you around the enormous school

- 10/10 falls in love with you instantly

- your shy demeanor is such a contrast to your style

- definitely lives for teasing you

- anything to make you stutter

- but he'd be very blunt about his feelings

- he makes sure that you're being respected by students and staff alike

- threatens anybody who doesn't

- he gets you some screw earrings or a necklace (if you don't have piercings)

- it's his way of making sure people know that you're his

- Stein would be an excellent significant other

- he's a bit more on the playful side so just always be prepared for cheeky remarks

- he doesn't mind your shyness at all

- since he doesn't really favor going out too much so most of your dates are in doors, his place or yours

- probably with a cup of coffee and a book

- he can be sweet when he wants to

- isn't really into pda but i wouldn't be too surprised if he had a moment of spontaneity and pull you into his arms and

kiss you passionately

- some students think it's romantic and others definitely tease the both of you

- since your social battery probably runs out pretty quick, he loves that it gives him an out from tiring staff get

togethers

- Death Scythe thinks it's absolutely HYSTERICAL to make fun of Stein's moments of softness

- but ultimately, he thinks the way Stein looks at you is sweet and makes him happy that his friend has found someone like

you

- cause you're the best

- duh

- his wardrobe has infinitely improved since the both of you got together

- all thanks to you

- overall 15/10 a good significant other

- ahh Crona, sweet sweet Crona

- they're the freaking cutest

- now i know that in the anime and manga, it's written that he uses he/him pronouns but it seem like on tumblr everyone has

just settled on using they/them instead because of Crona's androgynous style and frankly it's a bit of an unclear area

- so uhhh yeah, let's get started

- Crona would have trouble admitting that they had feelings for you, so they tries to hide it but alas, Maka had caught on

- it took Soul a bit longer to realize but he eventually did

- the group had caught on and thought it was adorable

- all of them had tried to help in any way they could

- but Crona just couldn't muster up the courage to tell you

- the both of you were quite shy so it was nearly impossible to get some type of interaction between the two of you

- Crona also really loved your style

- the both of you were similar in so many ways

- Black Star had actually been the one to let it slip that Crona had harbored some kind of affection for you

- Tsubaki had smacked him upside the head and chastised him since it wasn't his place to say anything

- but now that it was out in the open, it had given you the slight confidence boost you needed to confess

- but when you did, Crona just stood frozen, almost mortified by your words

- you took it as rejection and ran off into the woods surrounding the school campus

- Ragnarok had then made an appearance and started tugging at Crona's cheeks and telling them that they should go after you

- but of course, they hadn't

- instead, turning to Maka and Tsubaki for help

- the two had taken it upon themselves to look for you and clear up any misunderstandings

- the next day, Crona had approached you and apologized

- even though they're words were stuttered, you appreciated the gesture and asked Crona on a proper date

- they accepted before panicking because it had dawned on them that they had never been on a date before

- overall, Crona is such a sweet partner

- sure, a bit unexperienced but sweet nonetheless

- they try their best

- both of you have similar styles and everyone thinks the both of you are just the most adorable couple on campus

- Crona loved hearing you talk about the things you loved

- your eyes would sparkle and you'd move your hands so animatedly

- it's almost like you're a different person in that moment

- they just adored you

- they'd get upset if someone had disrespected your pronouns

- Ragnorak would definitely rage if someone disrespected you

- as much as he hated to admit it, he really really liked you

- mainly because you always carried sweets around for him

- ugh I just love Crona

#soul eater #soul eater x reader #soul eater evans x reader #death the kid x reader #professor stein x reader #crona gorgon x reader #crona x reader #x gn!reader #anon request #lovely anon #anon ask

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17caratssi · 3 years ago

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Wonwoo! Will you stay

Jeon Wonwoo! A short series pt one | two | three | four After the rejection, Wonwoo finds your persistence cumbersome. Surprisingly, the quarrel results in you getting new friends.

Our current parents are not the ones who really had you. In actuality, you were adopted to a loving couple that has had no child for 7 years. Your biological parents were too poor to raise another child, and they chose to put you into adoption when you were only 5 months.

When the couples saw you in the centre, they immediately fell in love with you and agreed to take you as their child. You had your name registered under your father's last name and basically became the daughter of their family.

It was illegal at that time, but your parents were desperate to have a child.

It didn't shock you the first time you were disclosed to this information. You don't look like your mother or father, and the brats at school keep suggesting that you're adopted. Your parents then decided to tell you despite your young age.

"You are our daughter. No matter what others say, we love you with our full hearts. Don't forget that, darling," was what your mother told you 12 years ago.

You know they are the best family you could ever have, and they always do. Occasionally, you would thank them. Your mother was never fond of you thanking them, and your dad doesn't have the heart to scold you for the same reason.

He hates it too, but you want them to know that you're very grateful to them.

Your father turns to look at you and stroke your head tenderly. "Where can I find the best daughter like this in this world?"

"You can't anymore. The world only has one best daughter, and that's me~."

"You're super right!" he pinches your nose playfully and has you giggle. "Let's go home. Mommy said she has something for you,"

The next day, you walk to your seat and sit quietly. You feel quite tired from the lacking of sleep. Your friend from America called you last night, and it continued until 3 in the morning. You were too guilty to tell her that you have school in the morning and have to sleep.

In the end, you only got 3 hours of sleep before getting ready for school.

You rest your head on the table and shut your eyes. The students are not making any noises, and you quickly fall asleep.

Wonwoo comes in when you already wake up. He is pretty late as compared to others.

You greet him with a good morning and directly ask. "Your house isn't that far. Why are you late?"

Wonwoo pulls his chair and sits. He's quiet on usual, so you don't know if he's normal or moody.

"Wonwoo, what do you think they have for lunch?"

"Wonwoo, can you teach me Physics? I'm most terrible at it.."

"Wonwoo, what club are you planning to join? Let me join you, OK?"

"Wonwoo, what did you say?" you ask again. You have lost count of how many times to call his name. Wonwoo... Wonwoo... It just rolls off the tongue.

Wonwoo raises his head and faces you. He opens his thin lips and repeats his words.

"You're. So. Freaking. Annoying," he utters word by word as if tearing your heart pieces by pieces. It sends you into speechless mode.

Though he tries to speak through his teeth, some students can still hear him. The girls in front of you are flabbergasted by the vulgar word Wonwoo used.

Never have they ever assumed Wonwoo could be crude to a girl. They study your face, but you're smiling.

"I thought I made it clear yesterday that I'm not at all interested in you. I find you annoying since the first time we meet. You're just a stuck-up rich kid that has no shame," Wonwoo canes his chin with his palm and continues.

"Just look at you. Which part of you is charming? I'll tell you this. Maybe you can get the white boys to line up within a snap of a finger, but I'm not like them. I hate all the girls most when they're rich and think they're superior to others. I don't have to clarify with you which category you're in, right?"

When you and the girls think he's done, you all are wrong.

"I think I should be more clear with you-"

"Enough." the girl with shorter hair stands up and kicks his table. "You could've just rejected her nicely, but you prefer being an asshole, don't you?" she says. Her eyes are burning with rage as he stares at Wonwoo, and they only calm after her seatmate pulls her arm.

"Yeah, Somi's right. I'll talk to the teacher about this, Y/N. We'll have you swap seats with some boy," you read her nametag- Umji, and you're about to say something when Wonwoo interferes.

What he has to say is just him admitting that he agrees with Umji. "Tell everything to the classroom teacher. I can't be bothered sitting next to someone's so annoying,"

"Stop it now, will you?" Somi flares again, and Wonwoo resumes his previous business.

Umji and Somi really keep their word and tell the homeroom teacher the morning incident. The arrangement changes, and you sit with a girl in the second row.

Since then, it's quite difficult to peek at Wonwoo without being noticed.

Every day after school ends, Wonwoo flees before you catch up to him. You want to apologize to him, but the whole week has passed. In the meantime, you make friends with Somi and Umji. The depressing, lonely days become less severe with them.

During the recess, the three of you go to the field and settle on a metal bench. Somi's boyfriend is a basketball player, so she always watches over him at the basketball court.

"Why are your face so red, Y/N?" Umji cups your cheeks and jiggles them. "Are you sick?"

You shake your head from side to side and breathes out loudly. You've been holding to ask them about Wonwoo, and now's the time!

"I want to ask something, but don't get mad. How's Wonwoo's doing?" you literally rap.

"Slow down, Y/N! I don't get you-" Umji holds your shoulder and soothes your nervous heart, but Somi is quick-witted. She reiterates to Umji and then glances at you.

"What's so nice about that a-hole? You still think about him?"

Umji doesn't deny that, but she's curious about Wonwoo. "I don't know. Is it me, or Wonwoo appears to be quieter after you change seat,"

"It's good, though. I hate it when he opens his filthy mouth. I can't forget what he said to Y/N!" you keep silent when Somi makes a comment.

"Maybe he cares about me after all?" you say, unabashed.

Somi frowns and leans forward. "Have you lost your mind, Y/N?"

You shake your head rapidly. "To be honest, I don't feel angry at him for saying that to me. I was wrong in the first place, so he has all the right to snap at me," you sip the grape juice.

Somi and Umji are in disbelief, and it entertains you.

"I don't know if this is true love or you're too naive,"

Umji chooses, "True love, it is," which sounds extremely unpleasant to Somi. She turns away and fakes a gag. "Blergh! Don't you dare encourage her, Umji,"

"Let's go to class," Somi says after regaining her composure. You've been straining the urge to pee since the break started; therefore, you excuse yourself to the toilet, and the two go back to the class without you. On the way, you accidentally bump into your seatmate, Ahin, in the toilet.

She's with her friends, talking about someone.

As you enter a cubicle, you hear a familiar name being mentioned by a girl.

"Wonwoo..." following after is barely audible, "...bullied,"

Wonwoo packs his things up and is ready to leave. He hangs the strap on his shoulder, crossing his torso and kicks the chair. The others who are aware of his precedented action make way for him.

You see him and quickly follow after. Close.. very close, and you grab by his bag.

"You're so fast!" you pant.

"Let go,"

"No! Are you getting in or not?" Not responding to you, you pull him by force into the elevator. Good thing; there's no one else besides you two.

You don't waste a second as you make a quick X-ray on him.

"No bruise, no cuts? Are you really being bullied?" you are still gripping his hands while asking him.

Not liking the skin contact, Wonwoo twists your limbs, dominates your wrists and rebukes. "I'll not repeat it. Get your hands off me!"

"I won't do so until you tell me," You undo the action and hold his again. "Are you being bullied, or you're the bully?"

The elevator opens, and Wonwoo escapes. You're too weak to hold against him, but he was just being kind as to not hurt you.

Since you can't do that again, you just chase after him a bit before jumping on his back. You adjust his bag and cling tightly to his neck.

"What are you doing? People are watching-"

"You don't like the attention, right? You might as well answer me!'

Wonwoo stops in his track. It's dangerous to move since you're not stable.

He exhales.

"The latter. Satisfied?"

"You're the bully?" you stretch your head to look at him. You did not expect that answer from him and squeal nonetheless.

"Thank god! I thought you're being bullied 'cuz if that's the case, I don't know what I'd do,"

What was that?.. Wonwoo wonders how could someone be happy when they're just met with a bully.

"Aren't you a fool?" he struggles to stand straight as you shift your weight to the side. "Get down now,"

"Oh," You climb down and instantly admire him again. "You're so cool!" with your clapping hands, you quick to remind him. "Don't let anyone bully you, alright?"

"My dad's here. Bye, Wonwoo!"

Wonwoo can't read you. He looks up to the sky and ponders. "Why would I listen to just anyone..."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Sorry for the short chapter. The next ones are much longer, at least to me lol (¯▿¯)

If you like this story, you might as well check out the others here !

#wonwoo oneshot #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo seventeen #seventeen #wonwoo imagine #seventeen imagine #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo angst #wonwoo_will you stay #wonwoo_WYS3 #kpop #kpop imagine #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop one shot #wonwoo one shot

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yeongwvnhi · 3 years ago

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》Troublemaker《

Superpowers AU, College AU, Poly AU

Taglist (send an ask if you want to be added): @twancingyunhoe @biaswreckingfics @donghanies @moonshineboyz @soleilsuhh @trashlord-007

Genre: crack, fluff, angst, suspension, suggestive

Rating: 16+

General Warnings: rituals, lots of fighting, language, injuries, weapons, detailed descriptions of fights and injuries, some mature themes, lots of kissing and teasing

Chapter Specific Warnings: teacher and headmaster being overly rude, cussing

Pairing: The Boyz x fem reader

Synopsis: in a world where superpowers are nothing special and everyone is gifted with some kind of special ability, you and your friends quickly grow tired of it and all the rules. So when one of your friends brings up a certain ritual, with which you can travel into another universe, it sounds like heaven, but you quickly realize it's harder to adapt than you'd like.

Word count: 2.7k

》Next《》Masterlist《

It's fairly early when you leave your home for college, around 7am something. The air around you is still fairly crisp and cool, but you're not bothered. Others would be shaking if they went outside in just skinny jeans and a simple sweater when it's 0°C outside.

But you? You're not bothered in the slightest as you calmly walk down the street and towards the giant building.

It's metallic cover reflects the sunlight, slightly blinding you in the process. It makes you squint and avert your eyes.

"Y/N!"

Your head turns in the direction of the call and you see your best friend jogging towards you with a bright grin. "Oh, hey."

"Good morning!" He beams, way too enthusiastic for your liking at this hour.

A demonstrative yawn escapes you as you lazily wave at him. "Morn'..." You mumble and wipe the tears out of your eyes which gathered due to your yawn.

"Aren't you gonna give your bestie a hug?" He pouts and his dimples make an appearance. "I'm disappointed."

A chuckle escapes you before you turn towards him completely and give him his desired display of affection.

A happy sigh escapes him as he tightly slings his arms around you. "I'm never letting you go, it's too cold!" He whines when you move to break the hug.

"Wear warmer clothes then, you buffoon." You mumble, struggling to push him away and ultimately just giving up.

"Nahh, why would I do that when I have my personal heater right under my nose?" He teases.

"Shut up and let me go, we have classes soon." You whine and push at his chest again.

He relents with a high pitched laugh as he watches you stumble back, his arms letting go easier than expected and making you lose your balance for a few seconds.

"You fucker" You hiss while taking big, fast steps towards your destination.

"My baby! Don't be mad!" Your friend whines while jogging to match your pace.

"It's not even 8 yet and the two of you are already having a quarrel." A new voice joins the two of you.

Startled by the sudden intervention, you whip your head to pinpoint the source and find another guy of your friend group.

"Sangyeon? Where did you come from?" You ask, eyes moving up to meet his.

"You must have forgotten that I always meet you at this section in the road, tsk." The older one answers and shakes his head.

"Sorryyyy" You say with a chuckle, "but Changmin here decided to be an ass first thing in the morning! It's his fault"

"HUH??" The culprit screeches in surprise, "Excuse me??"

"Be quiet you two, I don't need a headache right before classes."

"Sorryy" Changmin and you chime in unison, "dad." the former adds and snickers, earning himself a glare from Sangyeon.

The three of you continue on the rest of the way in silence and you couldn't be more grateful. Your mind is not yet in the right place for any intellectual conversation.

The enormous college building towers in front of you all as you reach the campus.

"Ohh look, the others are already here!" Changmin happily points out, proceeding to skip towards said friend group.

Sangyeon and you exchange an amused glance before also walking towards them.

"Morning everyone." You wave at the guys and they all greet you back.

"Y/N my love!" Your other best friend exclaims and jumps to hug you, "I'm so glad you're finally here! Please warm me up, I'm freezing!"

The other guys laugh at their youngest friend's antics, you included. Nonetheless you proceed to hug him around his middle and make use of your powers. Your skin immediately heats up to a nice and cozy temperature and the guy hums in relief.

"You're such a baby." You chuckle and pat his broad back affectionately.

"Classes start in about 10 minutes, we can go inside now."

"Oh, look who decided to show up." Sangyeon teases.

"What? Why would I show up half an hour before classes?" Said newcomer replies. "I can take all the time I need, unlike you guys~"

"Stop being arrogant, Hyun." The oldest playfully scolds.

"Now now, don't fight." Jacob intervenes, voice clearly expressing his worry.

"Hold on, what class do we have now?" You suddenly realize and look up to meet Sunwoo's eyes.

"Uhh I'm pretty sure it's chem." He replies, now looking at Younghoon for confirmation.

"Yeah" he nods. "We should go, it's all the way on the top floor of the building."

Sunwoo and you groan in unison, totally not thrilled on having to walk up 10 flights of stairs.

"I actually also have chemistry, but in another course." Jaehyun says, "It's on the same floor though."

The three of you guys look at your friend with hope.

"Urgh, fiiine." He groans, already knowing exactly what you were all going to ask of him.

"Yay!" You beam happily and peel yourself away from Youngjae. "Sorry hun but you gotta get inside quickly to stay warm I guess."

He grumbles something inaudible and you immediately attach yourself to Jaehyun's arm instead and give him a smile. "You're the best, Hyunnie!"

He can't help the amused smile to crawl onto his lips. "I know."

You hear Sunwoo make a gagging sound, prompting you to laugh. "Let's go now."

"Sure, sure." Jaehyun hums and within a second the four of you are up on the top floor.

"Thank you~" You happily chime and stand on your tiptoes to press a quick kiss to the man's cheek. Then you turn around, link arms with Sunwoo and Younghoon and drag them into your chemistry classroom with a content smile on your face.

Both men exchange a glance at that interaction and internally behead Jaehyun for having his useful ability.

When Sunwoo turns his head to look at the older guy, Jaehyun shows him a priggish smirk and waves before disappearing.

"He really-"

"Good morning you three!" Your teacher greets and Sunwoo immediately stiffens, startled by the voice. "Class starts in 5 minutes, find your seats!"

"Yes ma'am!" The three of you reply and give a quick bow before scurrying to your seats.

"Miss Im is so scary…" Younghoon shudders and you nod.

—

Your teacher had given the class an experiment to work on in groups of three. Funnily enough, a student had broken one of the school's bunsen burners, so now your group was without one.

"Great, just great" Miss Im angrily says under her breath.

"Miss" You say and raise your hand. She looks at you and nods. "I can use my power instead for fire-"

"Under no circumstance will you do that!" She immediately shoots down your idea and raises her voice. "What if you set fire to something in here? You could hurt us!"

You don't know what to say, feeling at a loss for words at her sudden outburst. Sunwoo and Younghoon notice your shaking hands and glare at the teacher.

"Did you really have to lash out at her like that? She just suggested it!" Sunwoo angrily replies and stands up from his chair, smacking the table. "We all here have been living with our powers ever since we were 5! We have them under control! Y/N would never hurt someone on purpose!"

Younghoon had hugged you close to calm your anxiety down while everyone just watched and listened to Sunwoo's outburst.

Then it was quiet for a moment, Miss Im too stunned to say anything back and the rest of the class only agreed with him.

Sunwoo was quite literally charged, you could see little lightning bolts dancing all over him.

"Sunwoo…" You quietly say and he looks at you. "It's okay."

He takes a deep breath and shoots the teacher another sharp glare.

She clicks her tongue angrily and just ignores this incident, instead opting to not grade your group on this one.

—

After class ends the three of you quickly make your way downstairs and onto the campus to meet the others. Sunwoo was stubbornly clinging onto your arm with an annoyed pout on his face.

"Hey Sunwoo." you speak up and nudge him so he looks at you. "Thank you for interfering."

He gives you a tight-lipped smile and says "No big deal."

"Thank you too Hoonie." you turn to the older guy and give him an affectionate smile which he returns shyly.

"Oh look, the troublemakers are coming." Someone teases when the three of you proceed on your way towards your friend group.

You turn to glare at the person, your red eyes flaring dangerously and they immediately look away, visibly flustered.

"Hey hey, we already heard you guys got in trouble." Jacob says first when you are within hearing range. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Don't worry, we're fine." You answer and wave him off, but the way he eyes Sunwoo tells you that's not what he wanted to hear.

"Miss Im went off on Y/N after she offered to use her powers for the experiment because a burner was missing." Younghoon explains and you feel Sunwoo tighten his group on your arm even further. "A- Sunwoo what's gotten into you?" You exclaim to him and prod at his arm to give you some room.

"I'm sorry Noona, I'm just still mad at Miss Im." He mumbles and hides his face on your shoulder.

"Stop being a baby." Juyeon speaks up and pries the younger one from you… well he tries. "Argh, let go already! Chanhee, come help me out!"

"Wha- Hyung what am I supposed to do??" The younger one replies incredulously.

"Just help me get this walking taser off of Y/N!"

You snort at that exclamation and Sunwoo gives Juyeon a pointed look. "Did you really just call me a walking taser?!"

"So what if I did?"

"Unbelievable." Chanhee shakes his head, but an amused smile plays at his lips nonetheless.

Your eyes basically scream 'help me!!' As you look at Youngjae, the youngest out of you all gives you a laugh before nodding. And suddenly Sunwoo's grip on you loosens and you quickly peel yourself away and hide behind the culprit. "Thanks Jae." you snicker against his arm as you peek out to look at a confused Sunwoo.

"Yah!" He literally screams, making all of you flinch besides Changmin. "Youngjae I swear-"

"Enough now, kids!" Sangyeon finally steps in and silences Sunwoo quickly. He pouts and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

You move from behind Youngjae to stand to his left, now in between him and Changmin.

"Ohh guys!" The latter suddenly speaks up with sparkly eyes and everyone looks at him. "How about we have a sleepover at my house this weekend? We're free next week so we can have some fun together!"

Everyone quickly makes eye contact with the others. "Sure!" Haknyeon nods and adjusts his choker. "I'm itching to take this thing off, it's really weird to be as close to normal as it can get here."

You all laugh at that, remembering how he has to wear it due to his powers. His hyperawareness is a very useful power, but also hard to live with, since he gets easily overwhelmed in crowded places. He had someone in his family create that ability dimmer for him so he could live without being constantly overwhelmed.

"You over there!"

All of you turn to see who called, finding it to be your headmaster. "Kim Sunwoo and L/N Y/N, come over here."

You give Youngjae a panicked look and he shoots you one right back. That can't be good.

The two of you slowly walk towards the man, stopping about a meter in front of him. "Do you know why I came to speak with you?"

"No, sir." You shake your head, not daring to look into his eyes. Out of the corner of your eyes you see Sunwoo trembling slightly.

"Well, I came here because Miss Im told me about what happened during her chemistry lesson. Shall I remind you, Miss L/N, that it is strictly prohibited to use your powers on campus grounds, unless they're unable to be deactivated?"

"N-No, I know that, sir." You reply quietly. "But we were missing a burner, so I thought-"

"You thought what? That it would be a good idea to use your powers instead and to risk hurting your classmates? Hm?"

"I'm so-sorry. It won't happen again, sir"

"And now on to you, Mister Kim." The headmaster turns to Sunwoo instead and you try to calm your racing heart and keep your anxious tears at bay. "You're really cocky for a 2nd year, just raising your voice at a teacher like that AND using your powers in a classroom."

"Miss Im has started it." Sunwoo replies through gritted teeth, "She could've calmly explained it, but instead she decided to humiliate Y/N Noona in front of the whole class! Was I just supposed to watch?!"

"Sunwoo-" You hiss, scared for him.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me right, sir."

"Don't make me call your parents." The much older man threatens.

"Oh, go ahead then." Sunwoo replies, "I don't care."

"Sunwoo!" You say with big eyes. "Stop it!"

"You should listen to your little friend, Mister Kim." The headmaster sneers, "I'll let you off the hook since you never did anything before. You better behave." he clicks his tongue and leaves.

You grab Sunwoo by the collar and pull him to match your height. "Are you out of your mind?!"

"Hey hey…" Jacob quickly makes an appearance and gently touches your shoulders with nothing but worry all over his face. "Please calm down Y/N."

"You idiot, he could have expelled you or something! Don't do stuff like that!" You practically beg him with teary eyes.

The younger one's eyes soften. "I'm sorry Noona, I won't do it again, but please don't cry."

Jacob takes a step back and just watches, mostly relieved that you weren't angry and that he wouldn't have to break up a fight.

"Give me a hug you idiot…" You grumble and wipe your eyes. Sunwoo gives a panicked wheeze, locking eyes with Changmin and Youngjae. They both just wave him off.

"Okay okay, don't cry." He says and gives in, pulling you close and patting your back.

The others watch from a bit away, soft smiles on their faces, almost forgetting why you two are in that situation in the first place.

But then the bell rang, snapping you all out of your thoughts.

Changmin drags you by your wrist, Chanhee on your other side as they lead the way to your next class.

"Are you feeling better now, Y/N?" Chanhee softly asks from your left side and you turn to look at him.

"I feel okay now, thank you for worrying." You reply and flash the taller man a quick smile.

Changmin intertwined his fingers with yours. It's nothing new, the two of you used to do that ever since you became friends.

"Chanhee Hyung, where is the literature classroom again?"

The oldest of you three thinks for a moment and looks at the numbers next to the doors. "It's room 371."

"Ahh thank you~" Changmin happily replies and you guys make your way into the room.

—

Chanhee stretches his long limbs after the bell chimed, indicating the end of the class. "Today's lesson was pretty intense, don't you guys think?"

"Yeah, there was a lot." Changmin frowns a little. "Y/N how were you holding up?"

Your head shoots up in surprise, caught off guard while packing your stuff. "Uh- It was alright. I understood most of it actually."

Both men give you weird looks. "You never understand stuff in literature, what happened?" Changmin says with furrowed brows.

"I think it's because she actually paid attention this time." Chanhee adds with a chuckle, "She looked so concentrated, it was cute."

You feel your body heating up and avert your eyes. "Whatever, let's go."

The two men exchange amused glances but don't speak on it any further, opting to just follow you out of the building.

You didn't expect to run into this particular person when you exited through the large glass doors.

After all, he got expelled for using his powers on campus and a few other things.

"Hyunjun?"

#yuki writes #kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #wkcnet #destinyverse #prism.nw #fkp net #tbz #the boyz #tbz fluff #tbz angst #tbz fanfic #the boyz fluff #the boyz angst #the boyz fanfic #yeongwvnhi.txt

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amane-by-together · 4 years ago

Text

Hanafuda || Amane Yugi

(Part 4 of 10)

genre: fluff, school, slice of life, modern au (where all wonders live)

warning: cursing

summary: amane yugi spends his school days skipping classes until he meets [name] [surname], a student from the other class, who was also skipping classes and eventually the two of them formed a platonic friendship. cutting classes and playing hanafuda together strengthens their friendship but soon unexpected feelings blossom between the two.

“I don't know how I will face her...” Amane was wiping one of the tables in the cafe he's working in. It's a donut cafe, no wonder why he chose that. “Is [name]-san mad at me?”

The two teens decided to take the whole class out of awkwardness. “Yo, Yugi-san!” one of his seniors playfully smacked his back. “You've been sputtering nonsense while blushing, you okay lil bud?”

“It's no big deal Senpai.” Amane sheepishly laughs, rubbing the back of his neck with imaginary flowers surrounding him. Akaji is Amane's senior who is in college and probably the only person he could talk to in the cafe.

“Hm.” Akaji took a seat and skeptically looked at Amane. “My gut instincts told me you're having girl problems.”

“S-Senpai!” Amane swatted his hand while chuckling nervously. Currently, he's having problems wondering what was [name]'s reaction when he tried to kiss her.

Akaji grinned, putting his legs on top of the table as he crossed his arms. “Girl problems then, I knew this day would come—ow?!”

“Ah, Good evening! Matsubara-senpai!” Amane bowed when the sky blue-haired girl whacked the back of Akaji's head.

“Good evening to you too, Yugi-kouhai.” Matsubara greeted him back in a stern tone. Akaji rubbed the back of his head and gave the female a sour look. “You should set a better example towards your juniors, Houta!” she scolded.

“I was about to tell him some advice, Kanon.” Akaji deadpanned. Matsubara was Akaji's childhood friend, they're both in college but they go to different schools. “Looks like Yugi-san has a crush on someone from his school.”

“So what if I do?” Amane retorted back.

“Stop it.” Matsubara gave Akaji a cold glare to prevent him from teasing Amane even further. “It's normal to have a crush on someone from school, besides we've been through that phase.”

Amane slumped his shoulders while pouting slightly. Asking advice from his seniors from work is a handful, Akaji is someone who would give bad but useful advice while Matsubara, being a calm and collected woman, is the one telling them whether you should follow his ways. “I do have a crush on someone from school...”

“But I may have made things awkward between us.”

“What did you do though?” Akaji asks.

“I almost kissed her...” Amane mumbled which Matsubara and Akaji heard him. Akaji lets out a small snicker, earning a pinch from his childhood friend. “So I decided to go to class without saying a word to her.”

“I think she hates me now.” Amane covered his face. Matsubara stayed behind the counter as a cashier. Akaji stood up to stretch his arms. Amane pulled out his phone to check out the time. It was already 6:17 pm.

“Who's that on your wallpaper?” Akaji places his arm on top of Amane's head while looking at his phone.

“Akaji-senpai!” Amane hid his phone from the redhead quickly. Akaji snickered mischievously at his embarrassed junior. Akaji is like that one friend who had polished nails and hoops who knows all sorts of tea. “I-It's none of your business—”

“Houta!” Akaji flinched at the blue-haired girl's voice coming from the counter. “Give the kid some personal space!”

“Isn't Yugi like 16?”

“Guys, guys, cut it off.” Amane prevents them from bickering by raising his left hand like a cop. Sometimes you would think that Amane is the mature one in the trio yet he was dubbed as childish from [name]. “We don't want customers to think that the two of you aren't working together.”

Amane adjusts his apron wrapped around his hips. He brushes his choppy locks between his fingers while licking his lips. The door opened with a ringing of the small bell. “Welcome—[name]-san?!”

[name] entered the cafe with eyes of bewilderment as her eyes landed on Amane. She was wearing an unzipped oversized hoodie, a tucked-in white shirt, and a denim skirt. “E-Eh? A-Amane-kun?!” she stammered.

Her little brother, who's in grade school, was standing next to her. “Neechan?” Jiro asked, looking up to his big sister. The siblings sat at a table near the counter. Amane couldn't look at [name] in the eye without blushing.

“So you work here, Amane-kun?” [name] asked in a slightly teasing tone. Amane averted his gaze while holding the notepad, waiting for [name]'s order. “Not gonna lie, your outfit suits you.”

“I told you it's embarrassing.”

“I said it's not, you're pretty handsome Amane-kun.” [name] convinces him otherwise. Amane's heart skipped a beat and wrote down [name]'s order. “You know, I almost cried recently...”

“Why did you cry?” Amane worryingly asks [name] until he realizes why. He went to the bathroom and never came back to the rooftop since he decided to take classes to avoid her. He didn't mean to do it, it's just that he's too flustered. “Wanna sort things out privately?”

“That sounded like a booty call to me—”

“Houta, you ass!” Matsubara pulled on to Akaji's ear, pinching it painfully. “There's a kid!”

[name] nodded slowly in Amane's direction. She told Jiro that she needed to sort things out with Amane so that they could go back to being best friends again. The two of them went to the locker room. “I'm sorry,” Amane apologizes. “I didn't come back, it was an accident I swear—”

“I thought you hate me or something...” [name] started to tear up. Amane died a little inside because of how precious she is, like, you just gotta protect [name].

“No, no.” Amane cupped her cheeks while smiling fondly at [name]. “I will never hate you, [name]-san.”

“Really?” [name] asked while placing her palms on top of Amane's warm hands. Amane hummed in response, he doesn't hate [name], how could he hate her if she keeps making him fall for her even more?

“You're too cute, I swear to god~” Amane nuzzled his nose against [name]'s, eliciting a blissful giggle from the female. “By the way, I'm still sorry about before I invaded your personal space.”

“It's fine.” [name]'s face lit up with happiness with a warm blush enveloping on her mochi cheeks. “You can be affectionate and clingy around me. I felt really warm when you gave me that hug.”

“Then, will a kiss on the cheek suffice~?”

“I'll just hug you—” Amane interrupts her by pressing a kiss on her cheek. [name] froze yet she was warm. Amane chuckled at her reaction, so he gave her a closed eye grin.

“They say kisses heal a burn so your whole face is burning, can't help it~” He says at her blushing state, then he lightly pinches her cheek. “Cute~”

“Okay, okay, that's enough—” [name] pried his hand off her cheek. Amane obliged and pulled his hand away. “So we're good now?”

“Always~!” Amane dusted off his apron. “I gotta go work now or Akaji-senpai will get the wrong idea if we take too long.”

Amane turned around to leave the locker room. [name] twiddled her fingers while smiling. “You know, it would have been better if you continued it...” she mumbled.

“Hm?” He turned his head back to [name]'s direction. Amane was sure she had said something but he couldn't make out what he had heard. “Were you saying something?”

“Nothing.” [name] flails her hands with a quick smile to reassure him that it wasn't a big deal. Amane sighed in relief and headed out first as [name] followed.

“Neechan!” Jiro waved his french fries to get [name]'s attention. Her eyes brightened as she immediately went over to her little brother. “I watched your milk tea and donuts by the way.”

“Thanks, kid.” [name] ruffled his hair and sat back down to her seat as she grabbed her milk tea with pearls. “Sorry I took longer, I had to sort things out with Amane-kun.”

“Is he your boyfriend Neechan?”

[name] choked on the pearl when Jiro asked if Amane was her boyfriend. “J-Jiro—!” she scolded between coughs. “Why so sudden?”

“Here, have some fries Oneechan.” Jiro offered her some of his fries. Amane chuckled at their dynamic, to think that [name] was also an older sibling is admirable.

“He's your younger brother?” Amane grabbed a chair and sat in front of their table.

“Yeah,” [name] replied. “Jiro [surname], he's 5th grade.”

“Nii-chan, want some?” Jiro handed Amane a donut. Amane quickly thanked the little boy and received the donut, munching it gratefully. “Ah, Oneechan! A classmate of mine is gonna come over tomorrow!”

“Ne, Amane-kun.”

“Hm?”

“When's your shift over?” [name] asked.

“Later at 7:00 pm, why?” Amane questioned her back.

“I was wondering if you'd like to come over to my house...”

Amane choked internally. He looked at [name] in pure disbelief, shakily pointing a finger at her. “You want me to come over?” he asked.

“I hope you don't mind, it's okay if you decline of course.” [name] swats her hands in front of Amane. “You're probably busy after this.”

“Maybe some other time, [name].” Amane answers, it made [name] a little bit sad but it's fine nonetheless. Amane felt kind of bad for declining her request of coming over. He has his own life too, like taking care of his brother or doing the housework. But then an idea came to mind. “I'll walk you two home instead.”

“Is that okay for you, though?”

“I don't want you to go alone at night, it might be dangerous.” Amane insists. [name] nodded and sipped on her milk tea slowly. He slowly averted his gaze with a small blush on his face. “And I can't afford to lose you...” he murmured.

[name]’s cheeks warmed at his sudden words. She glances away from the amber-eyed boy and continues to sip on her milk tea to compose herself before she can face him again. Amane shyly stares at [name]. He lets out an exaggerated sigh, thinking to himself that he was crushing so damn hard on [name].

Amane pulls out his phone from the pocket of his apron. “Ah, [name]-san,” The amber-eyed boy looked at the time. “My shift is finished, come on, let's get you two home.”

“We'll wait for you outside.” [name] stands up from the table along with her little brother. Amane cleaned up the table with a stupid in loved smile upon his strikingly perfect visuals.

Akaji rests his elbow on top of Amane's choppy hair. “So, that's your crush?” he asked with a teasing tone. Amane blushes and pried his senior's arm off his head. “It's amusing seeing you being in love~”

“Then what if she is my crush?” Amane glared at him as his whole face was heating up like crazy. He let out a small 'hmph' from his lips and headed over to the locker room.

[name] was waiting outside, carrying her brother's school bag while humming. Amane got out of the cafe and tiredly smiled at her. “Sorry if I take too long.”

“No worries.” [name] reassured the boy. “Come on, let's go.”

The three started to walk together in the night. Amane side-eyed the female next to him and his amber eyes trailed down to her hand. ‘Am I in love with [name]?’

Amane subtly wrapped his pinky finger around [name]'s while looking away. ‘Amane what the actual crumbs are you doing—? Should I pull away—?’

[name] clasps his gentle hand, her face warms along with her ears. The two teens averted their glimpses from each other as they continued walking alongside without the knowledge of her little brother. Amane is definitely feeling butterflies in his very own stomach, maybe this isn’t platonic at all since he’s catching feelings.

“Ah, we’re here now,” [name]’s eyes trailed down to his hand that was still interlocked with hers. Amane seems he doesn't want to let go of her gentle hand. “Amane-kun, your hand…”

“Sorry!” The choppy haired boy quickly drew back his hand and scratched his cheek. [name] beckoned her brother to go back inside the apartment just to have an alone time with Amane. Now, the two of them grew silent waiting on who will talk first.

Fate decided, Amane should speak. “No hard feelings?” he winced, shrugging his shoulder like a dork he is. Y/n smiled softly and spread her arms.

“Hug?” she asked. Amane ran in her arms and gave her a big hug, pressing his cheek against hers and squealed a bit as. “Hey Amane-kun?”

“Yeah?” His face warms up.

“I like you.”

Amane pulled away from the hug to look at her while processing what the girl had said. “So I'm going to stay by your side no matter what.” then she swatted her hands to betray her feelings. “Of course I meant it as a friend thing—”

“I like you too, Y/n-san.” He reached over to mess with her hair. “You’re the first girl who ever told me that she liked me, I appreciate that.”

“I gotta go home now,” Amane pats her shoulders and walks away a bit. “I'll be making lunch for us two, so better look forward to it~”

Y/n gave him one last smile. “Always,”

taglist: @closetweebsmh @closetwaffle @beonanagyu

#tbhk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #amane yugi #hanako x reader #amane yugi x reader #yugi amane x reader #yugi amane #amane #tbhk amane #tbhk hanako #jshk hanako kun #jshk hanako #hanako kun #hanako #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #jshk x reader

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herstarburststories · 4 years ago

Text

Beautiful Ghosts [p1]

A/N: HAPPY BDAY TO ME, YAY! The first chapter of this hopefully mini series is for @alleiradayne 's 1k celebration! Congrats, hon. A mix of angst and two kinds of comfort here. I gotta admit that I started working on this months ago and kept going until I was satisfied with how it was going. Hope you guys like this one! Divider by @talesmaniac89 !

Summary: Something as tribal as death wouldn't keep you away from Dean.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Prompt: I’m not going to leave you. You’re never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise.

Characters: Dean and Sam Winchester, you

Rating: PG 13

Word count: 2404

As always, you are in Dean's arms when the two brothers enter the bunker after a hunt. There isn’t any sound to break the silence, no raucous laughter, or even a snarky comment about today’s slain monsters. Their steps are stronger than usual, and one breath is missing.

Of course, it’s different from your usual entrance. Your arms aren't tangled with Dean's and his aren’t wrapped around your waist or shoulders. You are in his arms, yes, but you are lying still in a state of lifeless despondency. To think, he was once hopeful, stupid enough to believe that he'd only be carrying you like this when he was marrying you.

Sam is awfully quiet. He can think and organize a hundred words into speeches in his mind, but nothing comes out. The younger brother feels like a kid during a class presentation too worried to say the wrong word and receive the wrong reaction. Therefore, he chooses silence, just like the other Winchester. They both make room for the grief that way.

It's a silent agreement that you are gone for good. The spell used to bring Eileen back is no longer available, and there is no devil willing to make a pact — not that one would allow the others to do so, after all.

Dean still considers it. More than once, more than a million times between the drive back home when you laid in the backseat with your guts on the car's floor and putting your body on the couch with more tenderness he’d thought himself capable of.

He would come back to hell just to save you, even if it meant not staying to see you thrive. The agony would be more bearable if he knew that for each scream of his, there would be a grin of yours.

He has no hope now. All Dean Winchester has is anger and unprocessed grief slowly metamorphosing into sadness, hate, and bloodthirst. Even when he killed the fucking werewolf right after he laid his teeth on you, it wasn’t enough. He needed to make someone hurt as much as he did.

It was supposed to be an easy hunt, but isn’t that life with this job? It's usually supposed to be a quick thing, and then you are choking your own blood like it's tequila.

“She is in a better place now.” Sam is the first to speak, utterly doubting that his brother would make a noise if he didn't first.

Sammy was always full of faith, but this time it made Dean furious. “You don't know that.”

“Dean.”

“Don't, Sammy. Don't even fucking try. You know who we are and what Billie thinks about us. Do you think (Y/N) won't get the same destiny as we will? Alone in the empty, going crazy for years, decades!?”

“We can find a way—“

“No, we can't! We all signed her death sentence the minute we asked her to move in. And she—“ Dean cuts himself off with the sharp knife of silence, staving any hope left with harsh thoughts. The living room is maybe the most similar it’s ever been to the old glory days now: men of letters used to get frustrated there all the time, usually with a bottle of whiskey and a dead body on the floor, full of holes from experiments.

The eldest Winchester wants to scream, throw a chair, break a lamp. He’d do anything to get this heavy sensation out of his veins, as if every single drop of blood weighs 500 pounds.

Still, he doesn't fall on his knees.

An inconsistently wry smirk consumes Dean’s face, warped with grief. “I had to put her guts back in her body, you know? To carry her in the car.”

He lifts his hands. They are stained red. Sam purses his lips together, trying to find something to say that would have helped him when Jess died. Nothing but an annoying little voice saying time comes to mind. It's gonna be hard, but they will make it. They always do.

Sammy doesn't tell that to Dean, though. He isn't ready yet. And neither is Sam to vocalize the words.

We are gonna be okay because we always do. And the dead bodies end up like frightening memories and nothing else.

That would sound too cold, like most truths for hunters. If Sam says those words, it becomes real. Not even the bloodstained picture of murder is stronger than words of farewell. Besides, you were his best friend. He had to recompose and convince himself that everything would be okay before he helped Dean. For once, he had to be the brother who shut all the turmoil in to take care of the other

“I'm sorry, Dean.”

And then, Sam does the only thing that he could think of as useful for making the ache bearable. He hugs his big brother.

Dean struggles to get away from the hold, even with every fiber of his being screaming to remain there. “Let me go! Sam, I'm serious. Fucking let me go!”

“It's gonna be okay, Dean.”

“Let me go, Sammy! Now!”

“You are not alone, Dean. I'm here. She will be okay, too.”

“Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!”

Until he finally gives in, collapsing in Sam's arms like that little kid in Kansas who didn't want to cry in front of his dad after seeing his mom get killed.

There is blood on Sammy’s favorite shirt now, but he doesn’t care. He just tightens his embrace around Dean while his brother is lost into racking sobs.

His grief is just as expansive as Dean’s, their ragged souls laced with a sickening kind of sweetness that can only show up when someone you love needs help. It squirms and crawls in their guts to make a home that sticks. It’s their tiny comforts— the good feelings always show up in defiance of the ache like a plant growing on concrete. They just have to get the energy to look for them.

Everything is still the way you left it in Dean's bedroom. He didn't put your clothes away. You left your book on the shelf and kept your perfume in the wardrobe. Your pillow is still scrambled as if you had left for a couple of minutes to grab a cup of water and would soon come back to snuggle up to him. Well, it could always be from the fact that he's holding onto that piece of cotton for dear life. If he had long nails, his floor would be a complete mess now.

He's glaring at the wall, mind trying to come up with ways to cope with the growing ache in his whole body. Yes, the books and poets and films speak fondly about heartbreak, but he already threw the last glimpses of his bruised heart on the fire, burning with your body to the point no one could say it was ever in his chest to begin with. What could he do? There's always a way for the Winchesters. If Dean thinks hard enough, maybe he can defeat death. Maybe he can have you back.

Dean puts the pillow away after another sniff. The smell of your pepper shampoo is almost fading — he shouldn't have hugged it. Nonetheless, the green-eyed hunter focuses on coming up with ideas, and it's a stupid, humanly behavior when his mind goes to what desperate people usually seek.

Dean was never a pious man. The fact his mother died while angels were too busy watching over him to help her didn’t do it any good. Yet in stolen moments like these, he, like most humans, would bear his soul in a peace offering to all the holy things he doubted. The Winchester never prayed for himself, though. Who would answer his cry for help? He never deserved to be saved. So, he put his hands together and closed his eyes for who he cared about. As the Layla woman who told him to have faith or Sammy as something scandalous happened. It was rare, but Dean did that sometimes. He used to hope someone was listening. He doesn't pray anymore, not even now. Because he knows someone is listening, and he doesn't care.

Can an empty room seem crowded? Yes, when touch-starving grief is piled inside, begging to be seen. Why can't he allow himself to feel it? Why can't he cry? Why can't he just stop using anger as a comfort? Dean doesn't know. It used to be easier to cry before. He'd say he's lost his emotions, but the all-consuming anger and his ferocious barks to keep the hurt is burning proof he isn't yet.

Y/N died, and it's his fault. Y/N died, and it's his fault. Y/N died, and it's his fault.

His nostrils are opening, the wrath that swaths him as comfortable as his own skin. It’s not natural enough that he doesn't feel the burn, and you know he's going to break again. Your Dean doesn't break easily, but when he does, it's in a million little pieces that he wouldn't allow people to help pick them up. He’d rather shove them under the bed with his childhood monsters or bruising his hands as he exasperatedly tries to get them all by himself. You know he's going to shift into a storm and start breaking things. You know it's a temporary morphine, and the sickness will remain in the morning.

That's the incentive you need to try harder, to flash yourself into this plane of existence long enough to be seen. You force every fragment of yourself and light and whatever other pieces you are made of now to appear. To be heard. To show Dean he isn't all by himself again.

An image starts glitching in front of him. It’s rapid enough for Dean's reaction to come as a frown and his hand to snake around to the gun at the hem of his pants.

And then, he blinks and a heart-stopping joy hits him. He can't believe the unbreakable heaven that he's being blessed with. Every feeling that should be burrowed under his skin is fighting to come to the light, and God, he wants to. For the first time, he doesn't want to hold back because what was trying to come together finally is you.

You. You are standing right before his own green eyes. There is a soft look on your face. It’s laced with that pretty smile that’s always spread happiness to him as well. You are here, standing in his room, clean clothes and blood in your veins. Guts inside your body! He never imagined he'd be happy to think that.

Is this his heart? Oh God, it is. And it's beating. No, no. It's racing. His heart is working again and now he almost falls on his knees. The pain was never able to break him, but he had forgotten how strong happiness could be. He's relieved.

Dean's eyes burn when he looks at you. Maybe it’s because he’s too shocked to even blink or perhaps it is all the tears that were flowing. Who cares? That man would allow his entire body to collapse in flames if the smoke signaled you back home.

He takes a few steps, having the nerve to touch you — probably the most daring thing he has ever done. He is ready for you to dissipate, for that to be a dream, anything. And you don’t. You remain there. You don’t leave him too. Your usually warm body is gelid, but Dean doesn't care. It's an honest warning, yet he's happy to ignore those for once. You're here.

“Dean, I—“ Your voice. It's your voice saying his name. He recognizes the importance of a name now. For a brief moment, he's confused. What the fuck is happening? You purse your lips and Dean chortles in dismay, unable to discern his inner state of being. “I don't know what to say.”

“I thought I had lost you. I was so fucking scared, Y/N. I thought you were gone for good.” He's found the words for you, exhibiting his vulnerability so quietly. Your entire soul feels it�� it's not true what they say. You don't stop feeling when you are dead. You start to feel everything deeper because after leaving your meatsuit, all that is left is your soul. And what's a soul but the patchwork of emotions? “I thought you'd never come back again. That I'd have to go on without you. I'm so sorry. It was my fault. I should have saved you.”

“No, Dean. Don't start self-loathing and all that. It wasn't your fault. What happened to us could've happened to any hunter. And if it happened to me, there is a reason for it.”

“A reason for you to be ripped apart?” He scoffs at your belief of fate. You always had a graceful heart in you, even after you met Chuck.

“I'm back, right? I told you I'd always be with you, and I'm here. Always.” You intertwine your fingers, and he watches your hands for a little while. While it’s difficult for him to grasp anything but pain nowadays, he accepts the rush of joy in his chest. Dean looks up, and you're still here, big eyes offering him a loving gaze. “I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to suffer by yourself again. I promise.”

He kisses you, and it feels like your emotions have finally found a perfect body to rest in when yours is a little bit tired — a place to call home. He kisses you, and everything is worth it. Because he kisses you. And you kiss him back.

Dean Winchester is a marvelous hunter. He should know that the cold his tongue experiences in your mouth while you two make out ferociously isn't quite right. You should feel fervid, and you are warm in every way of being but skin. He should pay attention to that. He should stop trying to make you come alive with love. Still, he can't bring his rational side to care. That man was always guided by emotion, anyway. What could matter more than you on his arms? Worries could be postponed because you did what no one else ever could.

You came back to him.

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starbuckie · 4 years ago

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Some Quarantine Lovin’ Chapter Five: Love is a Many Splendored Thing

Marvel Highschool! AU

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Obscene amounts of fluff, kissing, swearing, kinda a lot of angst

Description: Bucky Barnes is absolutely, no doubt about it, in love with Y/N L/N. He’s loved her since the day he laid eyes on her in the third grade. He loved her when he had his own girlfriend, and when he was barely friends with her for a whole summer. And of course, in his freshman year, they are now stuck together. In a house. During a worldwide quarantine. This should be fun.

**WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEATH, CAR CRASH, MENTIONS OF ABUSE, AND INJURY IN THIS CHAPTER**

Words: 5,207 words

A/N: Hey guys! We’re almost at the end of this series, and I’m a little sad. This was my first ever fic, so it’s always gonna be my baby. This chapter deals with death, mentions of abuse, and a car crash, so if you didn’t see my warning above, and you are triggered by any of these things, please do not read because I don’t want to upset any of you. However, if you do read and find something offensive, please please contact me and I will do my best to fix it, and I don’t mean any harm at all, and am sorry in advance. Also, I listened to this “howlos” playlist while writing this and it is an absolute masterpiece. Moving on from that, thank you so much to my beta @transparentfestivaltiger as always, and thank you for reading!

(also seb looks like a freakin’ baby here)

Things didn’t change as much as Bucky thought they would after he and Y/N confessed to each other. They still had the same sweet friendship from before, but now they could sneak in a kiss or two, and there were a lot more heated glances and affection.

As soon as Y/N’s parents had come home that evening, they knew exactly what had happened. Of course, Mary and Charlie L/N had known that the pair of best friends liked each other: it had been obvious since the third grade. Though Y/N and Bucky may have not realized it that early, they had practically been an old married couple since the beginning of their friendship. Now that they were in a “relationship”(or as much of one as they could be in while quarantined together), they weren’t allowed to sleep in the same room together, and they were watched a lot closer. While Bucky blushed and apologized every time Y/N’s parents caught them kissing, Y/N laughed. She knew her parents were happy for her, and frankly, it was adorable to see Bucky turn into a bumbling mess.

It had only been two weeks into quarantine when they had kissed, so they unfortunately still had to go to classes. Of course, no one else knew about it but their friends, but Bucky wanted to yell it to the world, thus having him proclaim, “I kissed Y/N L/N!” in their physics class, which disturbed Mr. Fury, but he congratulated them nonetheless. Yeah, there was non stop teasing from their classmates after that.

The weeks kept rolling by, and soon enough, they had a week off of school for spring break, when Bucky took his best girl on a date. The two claimed to be in a relationship, but after Sam pointed out that Bucky had never actually asked Y/N out on a first date, he panicked. With the help of her parents, he managed to pull off a date at Prospect Park, right by the big lake. Bucky had insisted on being a “proper gentleman” like his mama has taught him, and went so far as to pick Y/N up from the front door, which her parents swore was the cutest thing they had ever seen. He made his mom’s old pumpkin pancake recipe, and they had breakfast for lunch, sitting in the grass, just talking for hours, and trying to refrain from removing their masks so they could make out with each other. Once it had finally hit evening, they walked hand in hand on the way back to her house and spent the rest of the night watching movies and cuddling.

After that, the duo wanted to spend the rest of spring break catching up on sleep that they had missed, but Y/N’s mom forced them to wake up at eight in the morning every day that week to get exercise. Neither of them were pleased. However, as much as they disliked the exercise, it gave them a chance to be alone. Y/N and Bucky went on tons of walks around Brooklyn, strolling down memory lane as they found someplace that they had forgotten about from when they were younger. It was nice for the two of them to just talk about their futures and how much the virus would affect it.

Spring break was unwillingly coming to an end, but Mr. L/N refused to let either one of the students be seen in online classes until they had cut their hair. Sure, it was only mid-April, but Bucky’s hair had turned into a messy flop of brown hair that fell just past his ears. While Y/N opted to cut her hair herself(which resulted in a choppy, uneven cut that Bucky and her family made fun of), Bucky asked Y/N to cut it for him.

“Are you sure, Buck?” She chided. “You saw how mine came out, and you make fun of it, yet you still ask me to do it?”

The messy-haired boy sat in a chair in the bathtub, in just his boxers, holding a spray bottle of water. “Y/N, your hair may look like shit,” he grinned at her face of mock offense, “But I trust you completely with mine. Plus, you’ll actually be looking at it while you cut.”

“I was looking when I did my hair!” Y/N argued.

Bucky laughed at her exasperation. “If you were looking in the mirror while cutting that, it makes it so much more sad.” She scoffed at his witty comeback and snipped off a piece of his hair. “Hey, give me a warning!”

“Sorry, baby,” she giggled. “Are you ready now?” With a deep exhale and nod of his head, Y/N took the spray bottle from his hands and began to dampen his hair. It didn’t take too long, just a few quick snips by the base of his neck, and she considered it done, and a hell of a lot less scruffy looking. She had spent her last day of break looking at styles and instructions on how to cut hair on Pinterest, and while she knew she wasn’t a professional, she thought she did pretty damn well.

“Okay, Buck, you can look now.” Y/N handed him a small compact mirror, and he dramatically squeezed his eyes shut. Rolling her eyes at his reaction, she said, “Come on, quit being a drama queen. I think you look very handsome.”

Finally, Bucky opened his eyes and looked at his shorter cut. She was right, it didn’t look too bad, and he looked less “homeless” as her father had called it. Running a hand through his freshly cut hair, he grinned, but stopped after taking in her words. “Was I not handsome before, doll?” He wore a small frown on his face, which Y/N kissed off.

“Buck, you’re always handsome, don’t be silly.”

He smirked and pulled her onto his lap. “I know.”

She leaned her head down on his shoulder and whispered, “Cocky bastard.” He delivered a pinch to her hip, which made her yelp. Grinning, he kissed her and she turned in his lap to straddle him. Her hands slipped into his freshly cut hair and tugged, making him moan a little into her parted lips. During their make out, however, they didn’t hear the footsteps of Mrs. L/N, and only looked up when they heard her groan.

“Good lord, can you two not keep your hands off of each other for five goddamn seconds?” Y/N quickly got up from Bucky’s lap under her mom’s careful watch. “Ria is on the phone, right now, but I’ll tell her to call back.”

At the mention of her older sister, Y/N jumped out of the bathtub. “No! No, I'm here, let me talk to her!” She scrambled to get to the phone, but slipped on the bath mat and landed on the tile with an “oof”. Bucky, being the protective boyfriend he was, immediately got up and ran to her.

“Are you okay, doll?” Her nose was a little red from bumping it on the ground, but she grinned nonetheless. Ria’s laughter could be heard over the phone, and her mom was trying very hard to stifle her laughter. With a quick nod, she took Bucky’s hand and got up.

“I’m great! Ria, you’re a little shit.” The girl stalked over to the phone and started talking and squabbling animatedly with her sister on the call.

Bucky and Mrs. L/N took one look at each other and started cracking up together. She pulled him into a hug, and whispered, “You make her so happy, Bucky. Thank you so much.”

He looked up to this mother figure of his and shook his head. “No. Thank you, Mrs. L/N, for being so happy for us. To be honest, I didn’t think you or Mr. L/N would be too happy ‘cuz of my father.”

The older woman frowned at Bucky and looked at him dead in the eyes. “You have nothing to feel guilty about, Bucky. Your father doesn’t define you as a person and trust me, James, you are the best kid that I know. You take good care of your little sister and all who you love, and every day I think about how lucky your mother was that she got to have a kid like you.”

Bucky’s eyes started to fill with tears, but he managed to whisper out a “thank you” with a croaky voice. Dropping a kiss to his forehead, Mrs. L/N walked away, leaving him with a sad smile on his face until Y/N popped her head back into the bathroom.

“Buck! Ria wants to talk to us both! She misses you a ton.” He wiped the tears from his eyes, which Y/N noticed, but didn’t mention, and went to grab his hand to walk to her bedroom and talk to Ria.

School started again the next day, leaving the six students in their friend group complaining and nearly on the verge of crying within the first two classes. They didn’t have finals this year, but teachers still assigned them “tests”, which really were the same thing with a different name.

As it grew closer and closer to the end of the year, it became hotter and hotter, Y/N and Bucky becoming sweaty messes in their study rooms. One particular early May afternoon, Y/N sat in her bedroom, waiting for her play rehearsal to start. This year, they were (going) to put on a production of Steve Martin’s Picasso at the Lapin Agile. She was cast as Freddy, the local Parisian bartender, so she was working on her accent with her lines from her script.

“Yeah, well, we're all writers, aren't we? He's a writer that hasn't been published, and I'm a writer who hasn't written anything.” Y/N spoke loudly. From behind her, she heard a booming laugh.

Bucky stood in her doorway, grinning, no shirt on due to the blaring hot weather. “If that was your French accent, then you definitely need to keep working on it.”

He walked into the room, swooping down to place a kiss on Y/N’s awaiting lips. His arms would’ve wrapped themselves around her shoulders, but she quickly pushed him back. Chucking at his frowning expression, she said, “It is way too hot to be hugging me right now, but we can settle for a romantic high five.”

“A what?”

She sighed like it was the most obvious thing. “Well, as much as I would love to, I cannot hug you right now because it’s too hot. What I can offer you, however, is a romantic high five. A high five that says, we’re not just friends, but we’ve been dating for about a month and it’s not just platonic.”

Amused expression on his face, he plopped himself down on her bed. “And how would one share a ‘romantic high five’ with their ridiculously beautiful girlfriend?” Grinning, she walked over to him and gave him a high five while kissing him. He smiled against her lips, and asked, “Like that?”

With one more peck, she sat back in her seat and picked up her phone. “Exactly like that.” They were fools who were completely, and utterly in love with each other, though neither of them had said it to the other yet. Lovesick smiles painted on their faces, they both sat staring at each other until Mrs. L/N suddenly broke into the room, wide eyes teary and a frown on her face. Both of the kids looked to each other, then at the mom.

“Mom, what is it?” It was concerning for Y/N to see her mom in this panicked state, considering that her mom was well put together, and she had only seen her break down on a few occasions.

She turned to Bucky, and with a small voice, said, “It's your father, Bucky. He’s gotten into a crash.”

Silence.

That was all that was left in the room. When Bucky’s heartbeat stopped pounding, he could hear his harsh breathing and see Y/N in front of him, her hand covering his heart. “James, can you hear me? You passed out.” Her hand moved to his cheek to wipe off tears he hadn’t even known were falling. “My mom’s getting Becca into the car so we can go to the hospital, though I told her you might not want to go right now. He’s going to be in surgery for the next few hours, but it’s whatever you need, okay, James? Whatever you need.”

He sat up, grabbing Y/N’s hands and squeezing on to them tight. “I want to go.” Though Bucky was worried, he pulled himself together on the outside. Goddamn it, Barnes, he thought, pull yourself the fuck together. He knew he was being too harsh on himself, but it was part of his nature, and he couldn’t get rid of the nagging voice in his head telling him to do better. “I’ll go put a shirt on and meet you guys in the car. Do your parents have masks?” Y/N nodded, tears in her eyes, and placed a featherlight kiss to his forehead before he left.

He grabbed a hoodie from the guest room, and turned to leave, but saw Becca’s baby animal book. It had been his before, something his mom would read to him to calm him down, and he saw it as his comfort object. Snagging it from the bedside table, he ran through the halls and out the door, where he saw Mr. and Mrs. L/N sitting in the front, and Y/N waiting for him with the car door open on the left side. He and Y/N climbed into the back seat and strapped themselves in, trapping Becca in her car seat in between the two teens.

Becca’s pretty blue eyes were teary, and she whimpered quietly, almost as if she knew what was going on around her. She was just one year old, still so innocent, and wasn’t even aware that her father never looked after her, or beat her mother before she had died giving birth to her. Bucky grabbed onto her foot softly, an action that consoled Becca’s quiet cries.

The car rumbled beneath them, and Y/N looked over to Bucky on the other side of the car. His face was stoic, staring out of the window with a sheen of calm surrounding him. His eyes weren’t teary anymore, but she could see the storm that was brewing beneath them. She knew that he was worrying a lot, his thoughts probably a jumbled mess of negativity, and underlying guilt. It wasn’t his fault, not even close, but she knew for a fact he was blaming himself anyway. She reached over to lay her palm over the hand that was holding Becca’s foot, and Bucky looked over to Y/N’s eyes, and gave her a small, sad smile.

The rest of the car ride was silent, Y/N’s parents choosing to say nothing, knowing that Bucky didn’t want to talk. He would always get closed off with his emotions during hard times, and it took him a very long time to open up about his feelings. When the New York-Presbyterian Brooklyn Methodist Hospital came into view, Bucky’s heart started to beat at an alarming rate.

“Y/N, Bucky, how about we drop you off at the front, okay? Tell them that you are his son, they’ll help you.” Y/N’s mom was facing them, trying to remain calm. Bucky nodded, and when they pulled up to the front, the two students worked together to get Becca out of her seat and jump out of the car. Y/N hoisted the small baby up onto her hip as Bucky grabbed her hand and led them inside the doors.

The light was an unnatural blinding white, and people surrounded the waiting room with masks on. There were people sleeping, people tapping their feet nervously, and people looking like they would love nothing more than to get out of the room. Briskly, the two marched up to the reception desk. Surprisingly, it was Bucky who spoke up.

“Excuse me, ma’am, my name is James Barnes, I’m the son of George Barnes, and I believe he’s in surgery right now. His contacts are the same for all of us, and I think you called a Mary L/N to inform us of the accident.”

The pretty blonde at the desk looked surprised at the straightforward greeting from the young boy, but she just adjusted her mask over her nose a bit more and nodded. After a few seconds of typing, she turned to the side and grabbed a file of paperwork. “Hi James, my name is Tina, and I’m a nurse here. Your dad is going to be in surgery for about an hour more I believe, but here’s the paperwork that you or Mrs. L/N are going to need to fill out. If you have any questions, you can come ask me.”

With a quick thank you to Tina, the three children went to go sit in the back of the waiting room, where a small cluster of seats stood. Y/N texted her mom to let her parents know that they had made it inside quickly while Bucky started filling out the forms. “Wait, Y/N, can you ask your mom to bring the book that’s sitting in the backseat?”

He knew it was trivial, but he really needed that book. Y/N could see the pleading in his eyes, and nodded without question. She would have to ask him later. “Of course, James.” She always called him James during serious moments, knowing that it was what his mom called him, and it soothed him a lot. He continued to fill out the information he knew on the papers. About ten minutes later, Mr. and Mrs. L/N came in, masks on and book in hand from the parking lot. There was only one seat left, so Mr. L/N let his wife sit as he stood and looked around the area.

It was surprisingly very quiet for the next hour and a half. Bucky had finished the paperwork with the help of Mrs. L/N within thirty minutes, but he spent the rest of his time assuring Steve’s family he was okay on a phone call and reading the baby book to Becca over and over again.

“Not a hot dog; my hot dog.” Bucky spoke in a higher pitched voice than normal. He was always gentle with his little sister, wanting her to know that he was a calming, caring presence in comparison to his loud father. Becca pointed to the pigeon holding a hot dog on the page, giggling and spouting nonsensical baby gurgles.

Y/N smiled at the two, and closed her eyes while listening to Bucky read the children’s book. Though he had read it numerous times in their time in the waiting room, his soothing voice just lulled her to sleep even more. She hummed a song under her breath, and let sleep take over her.

“Mary L/N! Is there a Mary L/N in here?” A nurse dressed in baby blue scrubs and a mask entered the waiting room and Bucky shot out of his chair. Y/N rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and brought Becca closer to her chest. As Y/N’s mom raised her hand, the nurse walked towards them. “Can I talk to you alone please?”

Bucky and Y/N looked at each other with confusion written on their faces, but Mrs. L/N answered the kind nurse before Bucky could open his mouth. “Of course, lead the way.”

He knew what this meant. There was no other reason that the nurse would ask to speak to the parent alone, and his heartbeat started speeding up again. A lump rose in his throat, and he was barely able to say, “Can I hold my sister please?” Y/N nodded, knowing what the nurse and her mom were talking about as well. She handed the now quiet baby over to his shaking hands, and looked into his eyes.

They didn’t even shed a tear.

Bucky could barely remember walking down the white hallways, turning the corner, taking deep breaths and holding onto Mrs. L/N’s hand. Y/N and her dad weren’t allowed in, as they were trying to keep as low of a number as possible inside the room, so he didn’t have the comfort of his girlfriend being there with him as he faced one of his greatest fears.

The room was quiet when they entered, another nurse and a doctor standing at the foot of the bed where George Barnes lay. His eyes were shut from what Bucky could see, but his head was bruised and covered in a bandage, most likely covering a shaved head and gaudy scars. “He was drunk, James, he didn’t have control, and the other car didn’t see him either. He had serious trauma to the head, and a broken wrist when he entered surgery. George was in critical condition when he was brought in, but he died in surgery. I’m sorry.”

Bucky managed to nod numbly and look down at his dad. He didn’t know what to say to him. “We’ll give you a few minutes alone.” The nurses and doctor shuffled out of the room and Mrs. L/N placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Do you want me to leave, James?” Again, he softly nodded without a word and didn’t look up as her footsteps echoed away in the empty room. Bucky secured his arms around Becca better as he walked over to take his father’s cold hand.

Bucky could only hear his heartbeat, as all the monitors were off. Even his little sister was quiet, her small squirms nonexistent. He took a few deep breaths through his mouth,and let them out through his nose. His blue eyes focused on his father’s hands, ones that used to bring him so much pain and suffering, that now laid limp and still. Finally, Bucky let out the three words that he had never heard back from his father.

“I love you.” Pause. Becca started moving around again, but he shushed her gently. “I think that’s all that needs to be said. Goodbye.”

He placed a soft kiss on his dad’s temple, and left quickly. As soon as he opened the door, he pushed past all the people waiting for them to be done and made his way back to Y/N in the waiting room. He could hear the doctor calling his name after, but Mrs. L/N must have stopped him because he stopped hearing it after a while. Y/N stood up when she saw Bucky, but he silently grabbed her hand and led them outside. Glancing over her shoulder, she shooed her dad away, and followed him outside.

She didn’t speak until they were back in the car. They had walked around for a while, realizing they didn’t know where it was. Settling into their seats, Y/N took the bottle of hand sanitizer from the front seat cup holder and squeezed some into both of their hands. “Are you okay, James?”

He looked at her with a straight face. “Yeah.” She frowned with his short answer, but she knew he wasn’t telling the whole truth.

“Bucky, you know it’s okay to cry, it’s just me here. It’s okay to let your emotions out sometimes. You can talk to me, like always.” She reached over to take his hand, but he moved it away. She knew it was just part of what he was feeling, but she couldn’t help but to feel hurt either way.

“I don’t need to let my emotions out, I’m fine,” he responded in a clipped voice. Y/N nodded softly and placed her hand on Becca’s foot, wondering what had happened. Sure, Bucky had had times where he wouldn’t talk to anyone, but eventually she would always be able to get to the bottom of it and support him. This new, closed off feeling from him was different for her, and she didn’t know what had gone wrong. It was quiet for the next twenty minutes as they waited for Y/N’s parents, and even then they barely spoke. As soon as they got back to the house in Brooklyn Heights, Bucky took Becca and immediately went to their room. Y/N let out a dejected sigh and started to head to her room to email the director of her play, when her mom stopped her.

“Honey, give him some time, okay? He’s just lost his father, and I know that he doesn’t like to talk about his feelings, but it’s different now. Both of his parents have passed, and it’s a really big change for him.” She brought her daughter into a hug and dropped a kiss on her cheek before retiring to her room. Y/N walked into her room, flopping on her bed, quiet tears for her boyfriend rolling down her face.

Bucky didn’t attend dinner that night, which was okay with the rest of them. Y/N was still having a hard time not going to his room and smothering him in sweet nothings and hugs, but she understood that he needed time to process the past few hours. Her mom was right: it was a huge change. He was now orphaned, and only fifteen. Eventually, he’d need new guardians, and none of his close family was alive, and his other relatives from Romania probably had no clue he existed.

At around one in the morning, when Y/N’s parents had fallen asleep, Y/N crept out of her room quietly to check on Bucky. The door creaked a bit when it opened, giving her a view of her boyfriend sitting cross-legged on the bed, shoulders shaking from his silent sobs. He looked up upon hearing the door open, and wiped his tears off as fast as he could. “Hey, doll.”

She didn’t say anything but simply pushed him back down onto the bed gently and wrapped her arms around him. It took a few seconds, but the tears started falling again, his crying quiet. Y/N just held him for a few minutes, as he let out his tears, and rubbed his chest soothingly. When he was done, he kissed her gently and said, “Thank you.” It took another few moments, but he started talking soon enough. “I shouldn’t be sad. Right? I mean, he’s the man who hit me and my ma relentlessly, and all my life has been nothing but hell because of him. I should be fucking celebrating right now. Right?”

His watery blue eyes stared into hers, and she sighed, taking Bucky’s hands and bringing them to a sitting position. “I think it makes sense.” Y/N whispered.

Makes sense? It made no sense to him. “How can you say that?” He questioned incredulously. “This man treated us like shit, he blamed Becca for my mom’s death, he would hit me, tell me I’m not good enough,and I still worked my ass off for him. He didn’t love us! And after all the shit he put us through, put me through, why do I still care? Why do I still love him? It doesn't make sense.” Hot tears slipped down his face again, as he whispered, “It doesn’t make sense.”

He started to cry again, and Y/N pulled his head into the crook of her neck as his arms latched like vices around her torso. Running her fingers through his short brown hair, she said, “It may not make sense to you, but no matter what, as horrible as he was, that man is still your father. What he did to you was evil, pure evil, it truly was, but I can understand why after everything you’ve been through, you still love him. It doesn’t make you less of a man or weak. It makes you stronger, and I can’t be more proud of the person you’ve become since I met you. You have nothing to feel sorry for, James Buchanan Barnes. This is not your fault. None of this is.”

She moved her lips to his, and they moved against each other languidly. “I love you, James.”

His eyes opened, and hers watered up at her confession. “I love you too, Y/N.” They brought their lips together again, her thumbs rubbing small circles onto his cheekbones as they breathed each other in. When they finally pulled away, Bucky had the smallest of smiles playing across his lips. “Thank you, Y/N.”

Y/N made sure Bucky was staring at her directly, and she spoke with a firm voice. “Whatever comes next, we’ll get through it together. I promise, James.” Pressing his lips against hers one more time, he grabbed his phone off the stand and started to swipe through it. “Are you okay, Buck? You need anything? We can talk more if you need.”

Opening Spotify, he opened his “Slow Dance with Y/N” playlist. “I Can’t Believe That You’re In Love With Me” by Billie Holiday started playing, and Y/N knew exactly what he was doing. Bucky had had the playlist since the sixth grade, when he first bought his phone with the money he earned from babysitting, and the pair had danced to it numerous times before he had started dating Dot. But he didn’t even play that with her. No, this one was for his best girl, no matter what. Y/N was too special to share with anyone. Offering her his left hand with a shy grin, Y/N smiled big with an eye roll and graciously accepted it.

“Oldies music again, Bucky?” She was teasing him, and he knew it as well. Y/N absolutely adored this playlist, that he made just for the two of them, with her entire heart. Pulling her flush against his chest, his right hand coming to rest on her waist, he kissed her hair lightly.

“Well, you have always called me old fashioned, sweetheart.” He twirled her around, her giggling as they danced around the room. Becca slept soundly in the crib and the moonlight illuminated their faces. “I think this song fits in well right now.”

Y/N sighed, letting her eyes close. “It really does.” After a few seconds, she remembered her previous question that had gone unanswered and asked again. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about anything else, Buck?”

“I think I’m done, doll. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Just wanna dance with you.”

And he did, softly dancing barefoot, with the occasional twirl, until falling asleep hours later. When Y/N’s parents came to check in on them the next morning, they smiled seeing their daughter and the boy she loved so dearly wrapped around each other, quiet snores escaping the both of them.

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