#theres probably a better way but i havent tried that hard yet

[saddlepunk]

there was a post abt imagehosting options somewhere recently... if anyones seen it please lmk (or if you just have free/cheap imagehosting reccs ill take those too-)

[fictionfixations]

playful land (part 2)

contains spoiler for the movie pinocchio so and like book 7 spoilers (its literally just 2 words relating to lilia and its a card that exists)

😭 as a glasses wearer i can relate. when i didnt have my glasses id squint a lot but the people around me just thought i had my eyes closed so they thought i wasnt paying attention D:

its even crazier to think that lilia, a war veteran and everything was legitimately stressed over this 💀 but to be fair if grim was in danger of getting out of like the seats that lilia had to hold him back id be panicking too cause who knows what could happen

heres your reminder that vil was kinda baby (well child but thats still baby to me) when being in the industry and considered good at playing the villain even though children (and teenagers) are literally known for changing, are in the prime time of their life to change and experiment and try different things theyve never done before and so typecast him is literally to stunt his growth and potential !!! and remember there were those kids who thought vil was an actual villain and like tried to attack him or some shit so he did play villains when he was younger. and it probably really hit him hard because kids dont (and shouldnt) be hit with the reality that not everyone is nice and that people can be out to get you for no reason other than 'you exist' and will run with any reason they can to hate on you even if its entirely fake and they dont even know you but they just think youre a bad person despite the truth and theres nothing you can do to change that because they dont want to be wrong. if you cant tell i have a lot of things against it. like. like child prodigies n celebrities are great good for you for being good at something and being recognized for it, but ohh my god its like suddenly they're an adult and cant make mistakes without people condemning them even though literally everyone has made mistakes before and children dont know any better until they do it and mess up and thats okay and i just. i just want vil to be ok cause hes still really young.

the text being like pLAcehOldeR TExT PLaCeHoLDer TeXt is so fucking creepy for the puppets 😭 why cant it just be normal like when like AIs or like the systems of shit talk (like like the navi system that was normal?? and i thought the voices for the rollercoaster was normal too but i mightve just not noticed considering im playing it right as the update came out and i havent slept yet so yippee)

JIMINY CRICKET IS THAT YOU 💀

the way i missed all these references the first time but now im actually getting them cause i saw the movie

heres where i say i already forgot like a part of the middle of the movie and what happened and why. i was watching it with friends so i got distracted trying to talk to them and im really bad at multitasking when trying to watch something (like reallly pay attention) and talk to someone at the same time so i forget one or the other and i forgot the movie so i dont remember what the apple core was about but i doubt it was good intentioned

i know that leona's older than them but i still like that he calls them kids like d'aww

flashbacks to kalim mentioning he didnt know how to pay for things or how cash registers worked and stuff like that cause usually merchants came to him also him mentioning he got like lint rollers for the carpet but he just kept buying new ones when he ran out instead of buying a new roll, and when being informed that he could buy a new roll instead of an entirely new roller he just called whoever thought of that a genius 😭 his obliviousness is genuinely harmful to him no matter how good intentioned someone may be to try to spoil him and make him live the most comfortable life ever because theres so much life experiences hes lacking. and theres so much i could say about this but ive yapped enough about this in other posts and ive also already yapped about vil so um

HES LICKING THEM BECAUSE OF THE OVERBLOT STONES ISNT HE? ???? ????? GRim PLEASE

…hes got a tail because he went to pleasure island and was slowly turning into a donkey like i mean i guess i can understand because in twst the stories were twisted so both the hero and the villain got a happy ending technically? like remember i think jasmine married like 'a street rat' or something (I cant remember exactly? maybe he was like a thief but changed his ways?), while jafar caught someone who was pretending to be a prince to marry her (described as two different people btw)

THIS. THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. he is so unaware that hes going to make dumb and insensitive comments that could definitely offend someone but he doesnt understand what the problem with it is this boy is like the heir right?? someone please teach him politics and like diplomacy shit ???? like ok you want him to have the best life. his best life is not making mistakes in front of important people that can fuck things up without him realizing and ruining relationships because HE DOESNT KNOW BETTER. like theres only so long you can baby someone and i know hes baby and still young but stop coddling him. like i mean i want to coddle him i want to wrap him in bubble wrap but like come on. and i know hes smart, he knows people arent the best because people have tried to poison him and tried to kill him (even some of his family have tried) but come on. like what if he comes off as insincere? as a person who couldnt possibly understand? HE ALREADY DOES COME OFF AS THAT HAVE YOU SEEN JAMIL?? and you know what thats gonna breed? RESENTMENT. aAAAAAAa AND PEOPLE ARE GONNA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIM BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SEE THE GOOD IN EVERYONE EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO DO BAD SHIT TO HIM AND ITS JUST. i dont want him to be hurt and hes gonna get hurt and he already has been hurt and hes still managing and i feel so bad for him and i just. ..you can tell i have a lot of feelings over thsi fhaidwsuiahfd

d'aww hes hugging him 🥺

yknow kalim probably has the funds to get like a water breathing potion and explore underwater like i mean tbh it kinda scares me. wasnt there that story during like one of the halloween events one of the leech twins mentioning how they saw like one of them?? except it wasnt them. and that like people went missing or some shit??? the coral sea (..that might not be the name i forgor) has its own dangers i hope he stays safe during so

wouldnt it be the coolest for a hometown event with the leech twins and azul and kalim is there actually i wonder what kinda outfits they'd wear. also in caters birthday bloom vignette floyd mentioned that he could take cater to the coral sea and show him places land people dont really get to see (then warns him to watch out for shark attacks) to which cater replies that he'll pass. …still i think itd be really cool for him to go too. maybe we could make it a pop music club trip! has lilia been to the coral sea? i cant remember 🤔 i dont think caters phone is waterproof though (hes also mentioned it in that vignette) and hes mentioned it in this event where he was scared his phone would get waterlogged during the whale rollercoaster cause they were getting drenched in water and he didnt get time to prepare

leona. you get me.

kalim just automatically being worried about poison makes me feel really bad for him cause he always has to be cautious like i know he doesnt say it but its implied and it makes me sad

FIGARO MY BELOVED I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU PRECIOUS BABY AHFDASUDIHAIUDHW i love cats so much the moment he showed up on screen i just couldnt pay attention to anything that was happening in the movie and i just love the way he was animated he looked so fluffy and cute and i just wanted to pet him so fucking much aGHHHH

leona: I REFUSE to ride the carousel no matter what right after leona: on the carousel

so confirmed kalim does have a magicam acc huh

[the-s1lly-corner]

I think. It's okay to say that you wouldn't be a good parent. That doesnt inherently make you a bad person. In fact, I believe admitting it and acknowledging that before bringing a child in the picture makes you a better person. I always found it weird that when someone bluntly says they wouldn't be a good parent, they're often met with "dont say that! You dont know that yet you havent tried!" And blah blah blah. Obviously theres a difference between when someone wholeheartedly believes it and states it as fact and when someone is experiencing a moment of doubt. Parenting is no easy or small task, and there isnt one single perfect way of raising a human. Theres so many factors to take into account. That doubt is natural, I think. But firmly believing yourself to be unable to be a parent is valid, and I wish people understood that instead of insisting that they wont know until a child is there. Why risk it?

Idk this is a thought that's suddenly hit and it hit hard- in fact I'm not 100% sure I'm wording this right and I'll probably end up deleting this but- idk

[astroyongie]

i honestly feel like i was born in the wrong era. either im too old for something or someone or im past the point of being able to achieve something. then when looking at how all these kpop groups are so young yet successful and talented just makes me question why i didnt do something like that.

we didnt have kpop in my school time but why couldnt i have just picked something and stuck with it? on top of it i believe im never going to fit anyones ideal type so whats the point in existing cause no one gonna truly get to know me.

unless i can somehow pass away before im 50 then i dont have to continue to think about all this shit and how i shouldve done better or i shouldve picked such and such a career and i shouldve tried to put myself out there more but in my age theres really nothing out there to seek when its all handed to younger generations.

and i would want to have my own success based on my own effort but have fallen short in so many ways its impossible to not find something i could do about it bc im too far behind and it does get to a point where you think that it is too late bc in order to gain any talent you have to have done it from a young age.

i dont want to rely on someone else to do it for me but i couldnt do it myself due to personal situations. yet i feel like thats an excuse cause once again all these young idols seem to be ro have something about them that makes their life a success. like yes the end inudstry is far from perfect but thats what people have been seeking themselves so it cant all be that bad all the time for them if these groups including older age groups have went out got success and even they get all the benefits of the super rich lifestyle but at the same time money doesnt bring true happiness and it seems a very shallow way they live sometimes, they have a supply and demand contract with their audiences and rely so much on social media which although i use it im not attached to it and i cant relate to obsessing over latest dance trend. i also want to stop the woe is me narrative but its really fucking hard to not feel so ashamed, behind or negative about things.

the most advice people gove is bog standard like if ur bored, go out more but its hard not to feel left out, if ur loney go find someone, if u dont have an income go get a job its literally never that simple. even in education you still have to pay for it as an adult meaning you have to already have a job but even then theres still means of you getting misjudged for your age and classmates have already done that to me before it wasnt that fun. its like saying to someone depressed to go take medicine to take away the feeling.

idk what im doing anymore besides waiting to randomly pass away so i can be done with this shite. sorry for ranting so much but idk who else to speak too bc no one else never seems to understand my frustrations with the way things have panned out.

Comparing yourself to others people archievement is the worst thing you can do. because we are all different, we all go through different shits (just like you rightfully said) and not all of us have the same opportunities presented. beating yourself up for that is a cruel thing to do wishing yourself.

It does also seem like you struggle a lot with self worth, self love and that is probably because never once someone complimented you for the things that you have achieve (to this point were you believe you havent achieved anything).

Love, hatred that you carry is a motivator, and you need to accept one thing. as long as you are breathing nothing is to late to archive, as long as you are here you should be kinder to yourself. because why are you comparing yourself to idols? I often say this here but when was it the last time you appreciated life? when was the last time you went out, stared at the ocean, at the night sky, breathed into a forest, when was the last time you felt a sense of peace? seek that out. dwelling on what we could have been is cruel hun, and not helping you in any kind <3

its okay to rant, dont worry, I hope I dont sound to harsh either, its just that I pains me seeing you guys going through so much suffering when I promise you all, darkness cannot live without light. just find your way back to it, often you dont need a big reason. sometimes the most tiny thing can be a source of happiness, seek yours !

[yappinggggg]

Wanted to share my thoughts on who everything did stuff wrong and why :>

(I havent finished the novel just yet so there might be some errors)

Also: Spoiler warning

The count and countness:

Their intentions were right but what they did wasn't really right. I mean- i understand completely that they didnt want harm Deon and all... but come on- Deon didnt even know about any of that. They could have sat him down- or written him a letter- and explain why they treated him differently than Cruel. Or maybe shown that they cared in a bit more obvious way? Of course no parent is perfect but i think they really messed it up while they could have still saved Deon somewhat

Duke Illuster:

This man is unfixable. What he did was so- idk how to put it into words. His greed alone was the reason Deon even got involved with the demon king, emperor and the war. Dude could have done something else but he seems to desperately want some powers fast. He should be tortured the same way Deon was - he should feel what its like to be in Deons position. (He wouldnt feel it exactly like Deon but somehow grasp it)

Next on to Nemeseus:

I really dislike him and ill explain why.

First of all: he simply blamed poor Deon for giving himself a split personality- like dude? He was a CHILD- what did u expect? He wanted to live and that was the only way he managed to survive!

Second: he only tried stepping in to check up on Deon when it was too late- u saw him the whole time. U witnessed what he saw and did on the battlefield- and u feel that u have the right to judge Deon?

Third: he called a broken child a monster(i mean Deon here)- what did this man expect Deon to do? He wanted to live- can u blame him for choosing this?

Emperor:

I think what showed the most how f***ed up this man is is that he killed all his siblings because of something he didnt even verify if that was true. He had the ability to do that- even if he was mad and blinded by emotions at the time- there was a better way.

Theres also the part where he actively manipulates Deon and gaslights him but i dont think i need to say much to this- we all saw what he did :>

The princess and prince:(yes,they get included)

The fact that they decided to just accept what their uncle did and forgive him is pretty messed up, if u ask me. Sure- family is family, but come on guys. He killed ur parents even when he didnt know if he was right fully killing them.

And they decided to just- help him with his plans? Support the things he did to Deon?

Not only support: they actively tried hard themselves to manipulate Deon

Of course: they are still young and so on but i think they could certainly have made a better decsion.

But i cant really blame them for choosing to stay and support their uncle- afterall they only had him and themselves. They also probably wouldnt have lasted long either if they hadnt accepted their uncles offer. Their chances of living a good life would literally drop down so much

Demon king (cant leave our toxic king out of this):

This man is a demon so he obviously is known to be cruel and so on.

Also since he had lived for for a thousand years so he is obviously bored to death- and he doesnt care about life anyway so why would he start caring for Deon? And why would he care about the fact that he ruined Deons life?(at least took part in it)

Edit: adding to the dk

So i found out that he actually cared for Deon....

Like what :D THATS NOT HOW U TREAT THE PERSON U LIKE but he was nice to Deon most of the time so he may get forgiven (lmao)

[Sorry,i dont know much about the demon king right now so i cant say much about him ):>]

[starfac3]

hii so in a post you wanted someone to talk abt their mlp headcannons, i’m getting into mlp rn so id absolutely love 2 hear them! (also just a question from a new tumblr user, can you see my asks on my page?) feel free to message them or whatever tumblr response mechanism there is! ^ω^

-not forcing, Moss ^^

AH HI MOSS !! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK :] 💖

first off , yes i can see your ask button !!! and welcome to tumblr :)

i tried to respond to this 4 times and i lost all my text and almost cried so im gonna make this much shorter than it was supposed to be (8 paragraphs) 😞 PROBABLY A RELIEF FOR MOST OF U THO LOL i have too many headcanons but here are some of my headcanons and /or “perfect world” scenarios for mlp g4 :)

i cant put all of my hcs here but im gonna put the ones i tell most ppl !!! ALSO NOT ALL OF THESE ARE IN THE SAME UNIVERSE!!! (if anybody wants more, ask me something specific .. >:3 nyeheh)

💜 - the mane six minus twilight have all been friends their whole lives, but not as a friend group until twilight came along!!

�� - branching off of the last one, rarity has made outfits for ALL of the ponies before !! but pinkie pie has been by far her most loyal customer because yk she throws parties like triweekly !! rarity mostly specializes in dressmaking but can also make other types of stuff . :) pinkie pie and fluttershy both seperately have taken some sewing classes from rarity cuz they alwayss loved her stuff :)

💛 - fluttershy runs/works a petshop/veterinarian clinic

💖 - at some point , pinkie pie moves out of sugarcube corner and runs her own nightclub !! (but like its not a naughty club, this is ponyville we are talking about here !! just lots of candy and soda and DANCING AND GAMES :3) and pinkie pie would be the funnest momma evr >w<

💙 - rainbow dash becomes a coach for the wonderbolts / some sort of coach :)

🧡 - applejack would grow up and continue to just run her family business and have a family of her own !! applejack would be a very caring mother but also she wouldnt take shit from anypony!! if anybody bullied her kid she’d have to try so hard not to kick anypony that bothers her and her kids

🩵 - rarity never expands her business or gets big, but she’s happy with it! her store is independent and a gem that many talk about all around the nation. :) she would be a fun mom but she would spoil the kid a lot lolz

💜 - twilight works at a school as a science/math/magic teacher, book author or a librarian! she would be a pretty average mom IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE just saying she’s just your average girl!! but she has lots of knowledge to share :3 !!

🩷 - either:

-mane six all are alicornized. you cant just give the order keepers of the nation some fancy crystals and tell them to go on with their day while one friend who happened to be a rich unicorn who went to a unicorn school and got hit with a rainbow beam turns into a goddess and you have to watch her outlive you, you make them all goddesses or none of them. especially if the gifted unicorn never asked to be alicornized.

or

- twilight and cadenza rule together. cadence was done so dirty :( she was given goddess powers just to be sent to a Far Off Land and the Twilight was favored to just RULE A WHOLE NATION ALONE. insanity. also they have been friends / chosen sisters for the longest time. this scenario would not only give cadence a better storyline, but also spit in the faces of “theres already 5 alicorns” ❗️

~

there was nothing about vamp rarity because i havent expanded on her yet <//3 and also you guys have yet to see my whole cross-race breeding chart.. >:P

but thats all for now TwT sorry it still got long , i hope you or somepony enjoyed !! if anypony draw/write something off of these PLEASE tag me just cuz i NEED content with these !!!!!!! :33 plzplzplzplz and tag me in any pony art/writing/ etc :3 anybody feel free to ask for more !!! bye bye <33

[asbestieos]

we used to be friends, way before, and like, wow, youve gone so far, proud of you

🥹🥹🥹 oh my goodness!! anon if youre who i think you are (i am somewhat confident in my silly hunch), im so happy to know youre still out there even if we dont talk anymore!!! admittedly i have the most terrible memory ever so i barely remember much of our time together (i wish i remembered more!! but as is, i cant even remember the last time i showered lmfao) but since its been such a long time, i hope its ok if i give you a Riley Life Update of the past.. two, three years? <- it feels like it has been longer than that 😭😭

2020!! i graduated!! i enrolled in school! i girlslayed hard! however due to World Events, i cant go to school in person and am relegated to online classes in my room </3 unfortunately im also in the deepest depths of my genshin phase and ran both my own And denver’s acc. sometimes i paid for her acc’s battlepass too it was bad DBDKBFJ

2021! girlslaying starting to fail from burnout and severe depression from being shut in! i passed my first semester exams with flying colors! i failed all but one of my second semester exams. also come january im both afflicted with covid and experiencing a bad bed bug infestation. #girlsuffering. i dropped out in the summer ^_^ this is when the terrible moodswings hit (i thought they were moodswings but as it turns out, i was incredibly emotionally unstable!! more on this later)

2022!! last year oh my gosh! denver and jasper/moth and i started talking about moving in together, which requires me to have money of course. so aprilish i get a job! i work at starbucks! i girlslay REALLY hard. i also start playing ensemble stars (the beginning of my curse……..). come july i had a massive breakdown and almost broke up with denver and our mutual friend group 👍 it was Bad bad.. but things worked out? <- this experience has led me to believe im probably a bpd haver becos of how wildly unstable i am. fun! crasy asf!

moving plans fall through as summer goes by, im still employed at my job, still havent gotten my license yet but it is ok i will get it soon, and come 2023, moving plans are back on!! hopefully will be seen-through ny the time summer comes…

tldr i have bpd, i dropped out and got a job, im gay a shit over idol bot gacha game, and by summer, ill hopefully be moved in with denver!! yeha those are the important updates! for me at least. randys in college now btw!!! in her sophomore year!! shes incredible truly! she lives on campus so i usually only see her once a month or so but shes literally awesome ^_^

very long update post and i made it all about me 💔 theres history between us that ive unfortunately forgotten and im sad that ive forgotten (then again i could always read back, but every time ive tried, ive only cringed at myself like OOGH is that me?? sickening) but im really glad to have gotten this anon!! if youre not the person i think you are thats okay and also i am sorry i assumed UEGEJVFDJF i needed this i think to try and reflect back on. the crazy ass time my newrly three years of adult life has been.. im 21 in july!!! crazy as hell!

i also hope the formatting is ok, i try to break up big paragraphs w/o starting a brand new one for the sake of readability <:] i think i mightbe learned that from you? i dont remember though guwbddjjd.. but i think about you on the occasion as i do with everyone ive ever met ever and im glad to know youre still kicking it like i am.. life is rough a hell 💔

theres not enough words i can say that can make up for not remembering us too well and also for saying and doing hurtful things to you if theres one thing ive not forgotten, its that i was not a very nice person way back when. but i hope now youre in a better place and you have friends who love you just as much as i did and still do!!

i have to go to work but uuwheuehehhehehrhfht thank you for reaching out anon i hope this post was nice to read and feel free to live in my inbox for forever, even if you wanna stay anonymous forever i dont mind! if youre not the person i was thinking of, rest well with the joy that youve given me a moment to reflect on myself euwhhwrh but if you ARE the person i was thinking of. im sorry i hurt you. and thank you!! i love you!! im glad you were a part of my life. i hope your day is good and your tomorrow is better!! live in my inbox if it pleases you!!

EDIT: FROGOR TO SAY IM PROUD OF YOU TOO 👍

[lostacelonnie]

True but thats like. Part of the charm almost. All the issues. Yeah thankfully the days are lengthening again & the terrible holiday season has finally passed, which made me. So tired. Hence my response delay. Yeah they should chill but im glad that the last bit was. Easy for you? I was around my family for like. A day. & it was exhausting i can only imagine what a week takes out of you. I wish more americans were like that some guy tried to talk to me a bit at the theater yesterday when i went to see godzilla minus one & it was exhausting. Also funny story everyone at my work was so exhausted last week i said something in spanish to my co worker from el salvador & he completely did not understand because of exhaustion. Oh that pretty cool. I had to learn so that i wasn't like. Having sandwiches & ramen all the time & now im trying to find time to make my own bread so like. Slippery slope. But yeah knowing a few recipes is always a good idea. Thats always the best, having friends who are chill with quiet. Does anyone have a good school? I will believe in the process because star rail is also giving me that pain with argenti's story quest & ruan mei's swarm thing. Ah okay so antimatter legion but less controlled in a way. Oh so thats what herscherr means. How come some have like multiple herscherr forms if ive seen right? Entymology is very interesting i love it. I sure need to remember traces & such more i keep forgetting. & it shows in my multi target dps characters. Worlds worst wingwoman indeed i love her. Cant wait to get further into it & see more claire. Roguelikes are a lot of fun i enjoy them greatly. I thought they would annoy me but hades proved me wrong. Noita sounds fun ill check it out at some point. Himeko mvp of all time she better survive penacony. Whoa that's a lot of seele lore. I love her damn. Explains her a bit in star rail too. What with sea of quanta, themes of death, scythe as a weapon. Also cocolia connection. And bronya really went hard for seele damn i love her too. Are her legs being broken why she like. Uses something to hover in the game? Have any other bronya facts? Or mei? Im glad your polish post radar works so well.

it really is ADHFGLSKFKG. and god yeah FINALLY. also happy new year!!!!!! very late but still!!!!!! this was my first week back in school after the holidays [well. actually it was Two Days] but im already tired. aooougugh. but oh well! GOD. my family In General is like. Fine. i really dont mind them. but i have to stay with my grandma who is just impossible to coexist with...... luckily my mom allowed me to mostly just hang out in our room and not interact with her that much since she shares my opinion. and augh that sounds. Irritating. i enjoy being left the fuck alone. AHDKKS it really is like that........ on wednesdays we have 8 am classes with the one teacher we have that speaks Exclusively spanish so we often do a irl co op mission with the entire group if we wanna convey like literally any message to her. and oh understandable!!! im probably gonna end up the same way sjfkgj. my mom never really taught me to cook since she doesnt like to do it [which, i get it] but i personally really enjoy the process so well see how that goes. AND FOR REAL i genuinely do not believe theres such thing as a good school. or even a Normal school. also fairrrrrr i actually returned to star rail for ruan mei [<- not immune to Pretty Autistic Women] and also had trouble with the swarm boss...... actually made me update my clara build. can you believe this. but tbh i havent done argentis quest yet and im fully spoiler free so im gonna see how that goes JDJGKKSJG. and yeah!! and with multiple herrscher forms its like. usually people obtain multiple herrscher forms either in like. change in belief? approach? which lets them harness other parts of their power [or add new ones], like in the case of HoFlamescion or HoTruth; merge [HoRimestar]; or find a new external source of their power [CE HoOrigin, HoFinality]. but i dont believe its ever explained in Detail so yeah. but generally, the power of a herrscher is stored in their herrscher core, so obtaining multiple cores can give people multiple authorities [like in the case of sirin]. but as i said, typical Honkai Confusion. ETYMOLOGY IS SUPER FUN YEAH...... and for real. if manaria has 1000 fans i am one of them if manaria has 1 fan its me against the world if manaria has no fans i am dead. noita IS fun but i should warn you youre not gonna get anywhere without external guidance. i mean. Maybe you will but its gonna be frustrating as hell and near impossible. its that kind of game. but the fanbase knows that and is actually very helpful!!! solving this games secrets is a team effort. as of right now i have 63h in and 2 wins [got one today, actually! congrats, me.] but i rec it heavily. its fun. AND YES GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HI3 FANS SCARED ARE FOR HSR HIMEKO. they cant take her from us again............ AND YES SEELE. I LOVE SEELE. its actually canon she has a kind of "you are not immune to seele" aura that makes people unable to say no to her bc of just how much of a lovely person she is. and yes that is the reason bronya floats around ingame!!! AND WELL. due to the fact that bronya and mei are both a part of the Main Trio, telling you. literally Any amount of lore about them would take me way too fucking long. and im so sorry but im just mentally unable to do that. and thank you o7 polska gurom ‼‼‼‼💯💯💥🔥💥‼💯🔥💥

[maleyanderecafe]

Hi Hi! Maybe I think is a recomendation or not, but theres a potencial yandere on Today the Villainess has fun Again, and that is Xavi, could there be more? maybe? i havent read the novel yet

Today the Villainess has Fun is a pretty good read. The MC and all the male love interests/leads are pretty cool in their own way. It's currently about 22 chapters out right now, and the artwork is really pretty as well. I would say that Xavi (and possibly Iris's fiance, if I'm understanding the recent chapter correctly) are the likely yanderes in this story.

The story is about Leilin, the villainess of the story, being pretty angry over another girl, Iris, because Leliin's fiance ended up cheating on her with him. We get to see the lady that eventually isekais as Leilin, who in her past life, was dating a man and devoted everything to him, only for him to marry one of her friends instead after he cheated on her with him. She basically outs her and her friend gets mad before going to read the story she eventually gets sucked into. In this life, she views Iris as similar to her friend and treats her as such in a dignified manner. Leilin is incredibly good at using social etiquette in this world to talk back to those who have wronged her, as well as using her power to help others. For instance, her first interaction with Iris was basically Iris stating that the dresses she wears are better than Leilins and Iris pushing back stating that it would be terrible if someone found out that she had stolen it. She basically directly asks one of the high-ranking knights, Lord Kassion, to dance with her, stating that he's really handsome(and he blushes like a cute boy). The next day, Leilin spends a lot of money to see the head of the information guild, Lucas, as he's the one who stole the dress for Iris, basically telling him that with all the money he spent on him, he'd better buy that dress that he stole. The same day, she also uses the money to save a changing slave from his owner, cleaning him up and dousing him with potions. This slave turns out to be Xavi, and he grows a great attachment towards Leilin for saving him, promising to stay with him even though Leilin said he could leave. Xavi initially has some difficulty adjusting, hurting one of the maids that tried to pat his head and generally being clingy towards Leilin when someone takes her away from him, however, Leilin teaches him to be kind to others. She later goes to a party invitation where she protects one of her lackeys from bullying and pushes back against another bullying attempt as well. Later, Lucas has another meeting with Leilin, basically suspecting that Iris has been using her, and Leilin tries to find information on why the crown prince was interested in Iris in the first place. She meets Lord Kassion being scolded by a nobleman and she ends up interfering and protecting him from being hit, which later just makes Kassion like her even more. A final couple of chapters are about Leilin doting on Xavi with a bunch of pink accessories to make him happy.

I actually really like the main character in this story (though usually, I feel like villainess isekaied characters are more interesting than just the main character), since she's able to stand up for herself in a way that still upholds the etiquette of the time, and is basically really good at being socially intelligent (if that makes any sense). She's a very smart and kind person, basically paying off the rose-mary dress that Iris got someone to steal in the first place, and buying Xavi after watching him get abused. She's also pretty funny sometimes when it comes to her maids and such and seems to have made a good impression for the male leads that she might end up pursuing because of her cunning and wit. While her end goal is to find a guy that won't leave her, she's also willing to go after horrible people to protect others. I also love the relationship with her father, since her father is the kind of person that really dotes on her and trusts in giving her a lot of money since he's taught her the value of using money (for instance, while saving Xavi, she also revealed a big social problem with slaves in the town, thus uplifting her family name). It's really cute seeing how much her dad supports her and I'm all in for that kind of stuff.

In terms of the male leads, they all seem pretty interesting in their own right. Lucas seems to like her because of her cunning and is slowly realizing how much he was played by Iris, and it's also mentioned that he's head of the assassination guild, so I'm curious about that as well. Cassion is really cute, as he's a former peasant that was raised to a duke, so socially, he's often outcasted because of his past and the fact that he's not very good at social norms in royalty. He seems to really like Lelain because she stands up for him and he has a lot of cute blushy moments. Finally is Xavi, the boy that Leilian saves, who is really cute and freaking adorable. He's part jaguar so he often either has a half-human form or sometimes turns into a straight jaguar. He's really clingy towards Leililan after she saved him and still has a hard time going in public or dealing with other humans, which makes sense considering his past of being a slave. Initially, he does seem really clingy towards Leilin, basically dedicating his life to be with her, even though Leilin just wants to make him happy. He tries his best to comply with Leilins wishes for him (to be happy, to not cause trouble, etc) and basically even says that he'll only look at her (and also feigns being sad so that she'll hug her, that sneaky boy). Again, he does end up hurting one of the maids, but after a good talking to Leilian, he becomes way more friendly and less possessive. I don't know how long this will last though, since so far it seems that he's not nearly as clingy in recent chapters, but still pretty dependent on her. I hope he gets more like that since I bet he'd be a cute yandere, plus it seems he's only acting nice so that Leilian will be happy. I still find it a bit weird though since Leilian sees him more as a child and she views herself more as a mom, but in the intro, it's implied that he's a love interest? These kinds of things are usually pretty weird for me to read, especially since it seems like Xavi is pretty young (probably like 16 at the oldest) where as Leilian is probably between 20-30 years old. Maybe he'll be more of a platonic yandere in the future, honestly, who knows.

Again, thank you Miu for your asks! I really appreciate all the recommendations and possible yanderes you send me as well as anything else you send.

[axemetaphor]

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

[red-sector-rivendell]

media reccs? 👀 since apparently you are a man of good taste?

Wow thank you 😏 I have a masterlist of movies that have changed me I often recommend to people, I'll just copy and paste here with quick synopses lol, it's kinda long. I'm not super great at writing synopses tho so bear with me

Dead Poets Society (1989)

One of my favorite movies of all time and a total classic. It's about a group of boys at a strict boarding school who are inspired by their new English teacher (played by Robin Williams) to think for themselves and chase their dreams. This movie literally changed my life lol

Quadrophenia (1979)

This movie is based off of the story behind the concept album by The Who of the same name. It follow the life of a young man named Jimmy who is in a gang called the Mods. Theres this huge gang war between them and the Rockers (I think that's their name, it's been a while since i watched it) and Jimmy questions his beliefs about coming-of-age and his values in life throughout the film

Cabaret (1972)

Based off of the Broadway musical of the same name, this movie is about a British man who moves to Germany during the beginning of the rise of Nazis. He meets a woman who basically turns his world upside down, and it follows their love affair and sexuality and anti-semitism, and it's hilarious and heart wrenching and a beautiful movie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

This is a super trippy romance film. Basically in the universe of this movie, theres a technology that is developed that can delete memories of an entire person from your mind while you are in a dream-like state, and the main character of this movie (played by Jim Carrey) decides to undergo the procedure after a bad breakup. Its soooo good I highly recommend this movie

It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)

This is an animated film about a man named Bill who is going through brain cancer. Its told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator essentially communicating everything Bill sees, hears, and experiences. This is the movie that got me into film and it is still a complete masterpiece and one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen

The Dirties (2013)

Loved this one a lot back in high school, it's been a while since I watched it. This is a film made in Canada about a high schooler named Matt Johnson and his friend Owen who decide to make a short film for their class about them killing the gang at their school that bullies them, and things take a dark turn. It's a hilarious movie and hits pretty close to home for me in a lot of ways haha

Logan's Run (1976)

Great movie, pretty cheesy though so be warned. This is based off a book with the same name, and it takes place in the future where most of humanity is wiped out except for a small society that lives under a domed structure. No one is allowed to leave the dome, and to control overpopulation, no one is allowed to live past the age of 30. It's really bizarre but I love this movie

Donnie Darko (2001)

Pretty sure this was Jake Gyllenhaal's first big hit when he was super young (I think he was like 19 in this movie but I'm not sure) basically about this kid, Donnie Darko, who is somewhat schizophrenic and has a habit of sleepwalking. After one particular incident he has a near-death experience and starts seeing a man in a bunny costume everywhere who makes him do weird stuff. Another pretty trippy movie with a crazy ending

American Psycho (2000)

Honestly I'm sure a few on this list you've probably seen (most likely this one included) but I didnt wanna leave any out because they're all so good. If you haven't seen this, it's about a Wall Street executive named Patrick Bateman who is a materialistic phony by day and a serial killer by night. I tried to read the book but the inner dialogue was really hard to get through lmao. Awesome movie though huge recommend.

Clockwork Orange (1971)

Yet another trippy one. And fuck it's been a long time since I've seen it so I might get some stuff wrong here. But it's basically about this serial rapist guy who hangs out with this group of goons and they all like to go beat up homeless people and shit, but the main character gets captured and has to go through reformation therapy to make him a better person. It's an extremely bizarre movie but soooo good and kind of hilarious lol

Creep (2014)

Of course this is on my list haha. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a horror movie about this freelance film guy who answers an ad on craigslist to help a man with cancer film a movie for his unborn son. And shit gets weird real fast. One of my favorite horror movies ever, I wouldnt say it's super scary but it's fun as fuck

Hereditary (2018)

If I'm being honest, I don't like a lot of big movies made in super recent years and especially not horror movies (mostly because they're all cheap cash grabs with no substance) but this one is an exception for me. Hereditary is fucking masterful in my opinion, legitimately creepy as hell and well-produced and well written. To put the plot as vaguely as possible without spoiling anything, it's about a family (mostly the mother) who go through some crazy fucked up shit. That's literally all I can say without giving anything away. Super good flick, big recommend

Gattaca (1997)

This list isn't in any particular order, and I love all these movies to death, but if I had to rank them this would probably be on the lower end. It's not a bad movie, it's still great but it's just not as life-changing as the other ones lmao. This takes place in the future where genetic modifications have progressed to a point where you can modify your unborn child's DNA to have the perfect baby. This has led to, essentially racial bias against those who never had that procedure when they were born. The main character was not one of these "special" children, but he wants an extremely prestigious job which requires that of the employee. Through the film, he is trying to fake his identity and fool the company into thinking he is one of these perfect people. Still a great film

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Johnny Depp, man, he is something else. I LOVE this movie. Based off a true story and a book written by the man who lived it, Hunter S. Thompson, this follows the adventure of the writer and his attorney as they go on a drugged-out, psychedelic romp through Las Vegas with the original intention being to cover a story on a motorcycle race, but things go off the rails as they both terrorize the entire city in a way. Just a fun ride the whole way, a great movie

The Truman Show (1998)

God I'm realizing this list is long as fuck. Don't watch all of these movies, it might take you a lifetime lmao. Anyway, this is a classic Jim Carrey movie and another one you've probably seen. But again, if you haven't, this movie is about a man whose entire life has been fabricated and shot for television without him knowing. Super great, super moving, fantastic film 10 outta 10 I gotta wrap this shit up

A Scanner Darkly (2006)

A lesser known Keanu Reeves movie, but fuck I wish more people have seen this. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it's based off a book which is just as amazing. This movie takes place in the near future, where facial recognition technology has progressed wayyy too far, and drugs have gotten to the point of no return. The plot follows a detective who is undercover in a junkie house trying to figure out who is the top of the drug dealing totem pole, but ends up wrapped in the junkie lifestyle a little too deeply. Seriously, I recommend this movie to everyone who asks, it's so damn good

Fight Club (1999)

Another popular one. If you havent seen it, it's based off a book by Chuck Palahniuk following the story of a man (the main character actually doesnt have a name lol) who meets a guy named Tyler Durden who changes his entire perspective on how the world works. They start an underground boxing club together to help themselves and other men blow off steam and get away from the capitalist consumer-centric lifestyle they are forced into. Big twist at the end, great movie five stars on yelp

Harold and Maude (1971)

This is a weird one. Gotta say. It's about a guy in his 20s who meets an old woman at a funeral and falls in love with her. Sounds pretty ok at face value but theres a lot of really strange subplots and a huuuuge twist at the end (one of the subplots being the guy compulsively fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention) big recommend

Polyester (1981)

This one I cant even explain u just have to watch it its fucking bizarre

Fargo (1996)

Ok lightning round on the synopses, this movie is about a man who wants to commit fraud by hiring guys to kidnap his wife so her father can pay them ransom and instead the husband gets the money but everything goes wrong it's really good

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Another modern movie I actually like, last time I watched this I was on shrooms and it was crazy but it's about this hotel right on the border of california and (Nevada I think?) And all these weird people are staying at it and there are twists at every turn and chris hemsworth is a cult leader in it its great

Memento (2000)

GREAT MOVIE GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE it's about a man who develops short term memory loss after witnessing the rape and murder of his wife AND WHEN I SAY THERE ARE TWISTS LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES I MEAN IT. The film is chronologically backwards, in that the first scene takes place at the end of the story and works back from there in increments of like 5 minutes. Basically each scene is a segment of time that this guy remembers before his memory loss kicks in and he forgets and FUCK it's so good please god watch it

Almost Famous (2000)

This is another one that would probably be low on my ranking but still a great and fun movie, it's about this kid that wants to write articles about rock stars for the rolling stone (based off a true story btw) and he ends up running away to go ride on a tour bus with some band and gets into all types of shenanigans and its great and sad

Parasite (2019)

Another modern movie I love, fuck this is getting too long lmao. Poor family wants to make money and they hatch a scheme to pretend to be bougie and work for this rich family but shit gets weird and everything goes wrong and it's so good (also literally the only film ever that made me speechless afterwards)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Pretty much lives up to the hype, I totally forgot the plot but it's pretty damn good I remember that lmao

The Warriors (1979)

Fun movie, theres a bunch of teen gangs in New York and the leader of all of em is like "hey we should rally all the gangs together and fuck up the cops so we can rule this city" but then he gets shot by someone in the crowd and the gang The Warriors gets blamed so the whole movie is them running from all the other gangs so they can get back to home base and it's just an all around fun time movie

12 Monkeys (1995)

THIS MOVJE IS CRAZY it takes place in the future where a virus has almost completely wiped humans off the face of the earth so these scientists send this guy back in time to figure out where it came from so they can stop it from ever happening but obviously everything goes wrong and yadda yadda yadda it's amazing

Waking Life (2001)

Gonna preface this by saying this film is definitely not for entertainment, it's kind of an arthouse-type flick. It's the type of movie you have to think really really hard about to watch. The basic plot is the main character is stuck inside his own lucid dream, and is walking around listening to all these characters in his dream talk to him about, idk like the meaning of life and consciousness and shit. It's really good if you're in the mood for that type of thing.

Okay I'm finally done, you probably didnt expect this but I've been meaning to put my movie recommendations on this blog anyway haha. I deleted some just cause it was getting wayyyy too long. If u want a shorter list I can just give u like a top 5 in DMs but there u go have at it, every movie on that list is a banger I swear

[babysizedfics]

I need to know about doctor mama lo taking care of a sick baby Virgil if you would like pretty please. I dont wanna ask on the in character blog cuz I feel like it would be weird to ask for details and lo seems kinda busy anyway lol.

hey tumblebee!! yeah yeah lets do this, Im gonna write it so that ppl who dont follow the other blog can understand too

WARNING IF U HAVENT ALREADY BLOCKED THE TAGS ILLNESS TW AND VOMIT TW THEY ARE VERY PREVALENT IN THIS

also this is a VERY long headcanon!!

so last night vee got ill, he had been regressed in the afternoon with patton and he was acting much more fussy than usual - not being entertained by his cartoons, not having the energy to play with his rattle, pretty much constantly whining and pouting and he gets very wriggly when he's fussy

patton assumed it was because vee had been upset earlier that day. at one point vee started gripping his stomach, and patton assumed its because he was hungry and could smell the food roman was cooking

but when dinner came around no matter how hard patton tried he couldnt get vee to eat a morsel - he kept turning his head away from the food and whining. at one point patton and logan both managed to convince him to eat a spoonful but his face crumpled with a wince and it looked almost painful for him to swallow it. it was at this point logan noticed he had a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead

things fell into place quickly after that - logan checked his temperature and it was indeed slightly higher than was healthy, they noticed vee's hands were trembling and he was constantly on the verge of tears :(

while patton cleared away dinner and excused roman who wanted to go and craft in his room, logan took vee to his bedroom and tried to check for more symptoms, since vee was non verbal and unresponsive totheir questions. he tested his tummy by pushing it a little to see if the pain got worse when he released it (this is a test for appendicitis) but there was no reaction thankfully except vee being upset by logan not cuddling him. he checked his throat for any redness or infection, nothing.

vee's crying became more pronounced and eventually he was in constant tears, occassionally pleading 'mama mama' through sniffles and hiccups and whines of pain :(( Patton brought him a baby bottle of cooled tea made with fresh mint leaves since that is supposed to help stomach pains. though he left the room again since logan thought it was best not to crowd virgil. Vee's crying had dissipated but he was strangely silent and seemed almost loopy now. he only drank a little of the tea before he pushed it away with a gag.

logan immediately took him to the bathroom knowing what was coming, and sure enough vee threw up into the toilet, crying between gags. logan dutifully managed to keep vee in his lap the whole time and held his hair and rubbed his back, telling him he was such a good boy the whole time

Thankfully it didnt last long as there wasnt much in vees stomach to be emptied. he was shivering and sweating and flushed and had lost all energy. he wasnt even crying anymore, just whimpering under his breath. with a bit of a struggle logan managed to show him how to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash - though he had to hold vee over the sink and pat his back to make sure he didnt swallow it

during all of this patton wasnt able to help because of his heightened empathy, if he sees someone throwing up the likeihood is he will too and that wiuldnt be very helpful! so instead he drives to the store to pick up some medicine and ice pops - and comes back with half the store including some actual baby medicine smh - ((im actually begging u to read that linked post i think its so funny))

it was originallly meant to be logans night to put roman to bed but understandably patton took on that task instead. after roman was drifting off patton pokes his head into vee's room. he had hoped to find lo and vee asleep but they werent. they were lying in the dark with an in the night garden audio story playing on a portable speaker and with vees salt lamp and star night light lighting up the room in a soft glow.

logan offered a strained little smile and nod to patton as he stroked vee's hair and cuddled him close. vee was completely out of it honestly. his body was wholly lax against his mama, his lips were in a permanent pout and his eyes were puffy and wet. he barely even acknowledged his papa coming in, his teary eyes just settled on him for a moment then dropped back to the bedsheets without a reaction. he kept lifting his thumb up to suck on it but logan kept capturing it and apologising as he brought it away. Vee shouldnt suck on his thumb and logan doesnt want to give him a paci while he's ill. understandably, baby vee was completely miserable.

patton asks if logan thinks vee could handle a popsicle or plain crackers at the moment but logan disagrees. he doesnt expect either of them to get much sleep so he will make sure vee eats something in a few hours. with a gentle kiss on vee's forehead patton goes off to bed, confident that logan will be able to look after vee and will come get him if theres any issues

logan and vee really dont sleep much at all. Vee drifts off for a few minutes at a time then gasps awake from vivid fever dreams. logan keeps ice cubes in a bowl by the bed for vee to suck on if he needs to cool down and wraps a couple in a flannel to press to vee's head when his fever rises in the middle of the night.

around 3am logan jolts awake and realises he had drifted off. and vee isnt anywhere in the room. he panics momentarily, bolting up from the bed and dashing to the closet to see if virgil is in there - which he tends to do when he is overwhelmed - but then he hears sniffling from the bathroom.

he finds vee, no longer regressed, curled up against the side of the bathtub with his bangs clinging to his sweaty head. vee is the palest person logan knows but he looks positively grey at the moment

'can i help in any way?' he asks, aware that he doesnt need to baby talk at the moment but still eager to look after this bundle of miserableness

virgil just groans under his breath and clutches his knees to his chest. 'i.. i didnt know what to do with the..' he gestures vaguely to something on the floor

logan notices virgil, being not regressed anymore, had obviously wrestled off the diaper he had been changed into the night before and not known how to dispose of it

'its ok, ive got it' logan wraps it up in a bag and puts it in the trash can they have in the room for just this purpose

'sorry.. m stupid' virgil croaks

'You're not stupid.' logan says firmly as he washes his hands 'You're ill and probably delirious from the fever. it's alright virgil'

theres quiet for a bit longer, virge's head pressed against the porcelain edge of the bathtub likely in an attempt to cool his fever. logan stays there with him for a while just waiting. then suddenly virgil starts sobbing and buries his face in his hands.

'sweetheart, tell me whats wrong please' logan hurries to kneel beside him, lifting his hands away from his face. that wouldnt help the fever

'i dont feel well' virgil cries pathetically, tears rolling down his face.

logans heart breaks 'no, you dont. i'm sorry little one, i know its not nice'

at the nickname virgils thumb raises to his lips again, which logan hurriedly intercepts. 'i'll make you a deal, okay? you're allowed to use a pacifier, but you have to use the same one everyday until you are better. we will need to sterilise it every night too.'

vee sniffles and nods, then chokes 'm not a baby right now though'

'that doesnt matter. you dont need to be regressed to want one of your pacis, vee'

vee is unresponsive and starts scratching at his pyjama pants. logan gets a feeling he isnt saying something. then he notices virgil's pout is much more infantile than his adult ones. 'are you feeling little, baby?'

with a harsh shake of his head vee starts crying again. he whispers 'dont wanna be a b...' then cuts himself off and whimpers

logan cards his fingers through virgils damp bangs. he knows what virgils mind has jumped to. 'were you going to say you dont want to be a baby?' he lifts virgils chin up to look at him 'or that you dont want to be a burden?'

virgils pale lip wobbles 'same fing'

'no sweetheart, no no no,' logan sits on the tiles beside vee and pulls him into his lap. virgil goes willingly. logan rocks his baby as he says 'youre always always allowed to be a baby and its never ever going to upset your family. even if you're an adorable wonderful brave baby boy alllll of the time' he scribbles his finger on virgils rosy cheek and delights at the tiny smile it earns him. 'but especially when you're feeling yucky. you feel a bit yucky today dont you, little one?'

vee nods with a pout

'but yknow whats not yucky? softies and pacis and diapers and lots and lots of cuddles with mama' he holds virgil tighter to prove his point. vee sighs and drops his head to nuzzle against his mama's neck. logan feels he still has a slight fever. 'i know what might help you feel less yucky. does my sweet baby want a sweet ice pop?'

thankfully vee nods against his shoulder and grips tight onto his pyjama shirt, preparing for when logan lifts him up

he first makes sure to change vee into another diaper and even decides that he should wear one of mama's t-shirts as a light dress so he doesnt get as overheated by his pyjamas. at this point vee actually giggles for the first time pretty much all day as he feels the tshirt swish lazily around his legs. logan makes a mental note to observe whether little vee might want to try wearing dresses if the feeling sparks this much joy (at this point logan is unaware that vee has secretly been trying skirts and dresses in his room for months, and roman found out a few weeks ago, but vee isnt ready to tell the cgs yet)

by the time vee is in his diaper and mamas tshirt dress and has a paci and jiji clutched to his chest he is a lot calmer and happier. he's still very ill and exhausted and teary, but theres a tiny smile on his face instead of a pout. in the kitchen he picks a strawberry ice pop and it goes down well, logan convinces him to have a cracker too though vee is in such a young headspace by then that he is just sucking on it, which logan supposes is fine too

by the (real) morning vee is still regressed and has managed to have a couple hours undisturbed sleep. its not much but its better than nothing. logan didnt fare much better. by then vee misses his papa and asks for him and logan hands the responsibility over to papa patton, trustinf the other caregiver enough to catch up on a quick power nap himself

but yes, the main thing is vee thought being ill was a burden enough that he shouldnt be regressed too, but logan makes him see that its okay. vee is regressed pretty much the whole time he is ill over the next few days because its stressful and painful and its a lot easier to feel comforted when ur a baby

yeah! gosh that was long, theres probably a billion spelling mistakes! feel free to ask follow up Qs if i missed anything u wanted to know abt this event

[fixation-nation]

Chapter 1: Adding that to Wikipedia.

Type: Ghostwalkers.

Species: Humans.

Ability: Ghost Walking? Idunno man there isnt much info on this shit.

Details:

Human beings that have the ability to Ghost Walk, transform their bodies into a ghost like state, either visible or invisible and move around like a ghost (through walls, etc) and possibly more, but yet unknown. There is hardly any information about them since they are harmless, but mischievious. They act like spirits because they seem fun in it, a way to use their power as to not go entirely mad from the build up ectoplasmic energy they absorb?? Dad never wrote much about it....but Sam found an old file, to im writing this down now to. Maybe one day we'll meet one, apparently theyre when a normal ghost banishing doesnt works you can force them to show themselves, using some cloth, Lavender Oil and then light it on fire, they apparently hate the smell of Lavender.

Then a dull smack was heard, and a deep sigh as someone sat back, the chair giving a creak. The sigh came from none other then Dean Winchester, who had done his best to write this down as an addition to their dads old diary. They had to keep track of the creatures, since there were god knows how many other fucking things around them ready to attack. And hey when you hear theres a possible haunting around the local University, you better do some research! Well atleast thats what Sam had told him, and with much grumbling Dean had gotten onto Sam's laptop. His brother was out, trying to gather some information at a local 'Witch Store' as people called it, trying to find them Lavender Oil as well, just incase.

Dean had stayed behind, finding it hard to belief why a fucking University would be haunted since there werent cases about any deaths in the building, or on the grounds before it was a University. It was honestly a bit confusing....but who knows, what fucked up ghost decided to torment people around Sam's age. He just shrugged it off, tossing the diary back into his bag and moving to the tv, lifting his feet onto the table and putting his favorite show on, chuckling at the silly soap opera, mumbling along lines as he got the bottle of whiskey from the side, having left it there because a cold stream hit it just right, and man, did he enjoy his booze nice and cold.

Over the next few days, Sam went to pretend to be a student that was saying he was possibly moving here and needed a school transfer, thus wanting to attend a few days to gather some information...and Dean? Dean had to be a fucking Nightguard! God he was so pissed about it, but honestly the work turned out to be not that much in the end...which he did enjoy. Now a few days in he was sitting in the little Nightguard's office, feet on the desk and a soda in his hand, and eyes fixated on the camera's.

He had texted Sam a few times, having done a couple rounds already to where the Ghost sightings were made....but so far he had found zero traces to a ghost occurance. Honestly it felt a little like someone knew that he was here for that, but when he heard a noise, and saw a few classroom doors open, and then a couple of lockers, his eyes flew open. He quickly grabbed the torch and his bag, having stuffed some cloth, lavender oil and a hox of matches in it. He flicked the torch on and headed off slowly, green eyes fixed on the doors that were now wide open....yet no traces of a ghost, that was....odd?

He looked around the doors, even inside the classrooms.....but when he still found no evidence of a ghost he scratched his neck and looked around with a frown. He set the bag down and went for his phone, pressing Sam's number. It went over a few times before he heard his brothers voice "Yeh what is it Dean?? I just got out of the shower" he heard Sam say, giving a deep sigh. "Yeh about that ghost, what about the shit you made me record?? Does it say anything about them leaving traces or sumthin'??" He asked, smacking his lips a little in annoyance.

Then he heard Sam opening the laptop, or he assumed so, hearing the clicks of a keyboard, and soon his voice again. "Well not that i can find....so assuming they are just born as normal humans with just that gift, maybe they dont leave traces behind? Since they are alive?? Do you think thats what we're dealing with??". "Maybe..." Dean said as he hung up and shoved his phone back into his pocket and moved back to the hallway. After he tried this he had to try and delete that part from the security tapes....no biggie.

He set his bag against a locker, easily fishing the oil, cloth and matches from it. He snatched a metal bowl he had gotten as well, well hey he isnt gonna burn the building down okay! He isnt that stupid. He tossed the cloth into the bowl, pouring the lavender oil ontop of it. He cringed at the smell, well no fucking wonder Ghostwalkers came out because of this shit, if he was one he would to....it stank worse then his dirty socks, holy shit.

Then he stroke a match, the light filling up a small space, it felt comforting....he always likes to watch the flames, ah no need for mushy stuff right now. He tossed the match into he bowl, fire lighting up....and that godforsaken smell filling up the hallway. He nearly gagged at the scent, this is why he cant have good things damnit! He watched the flames burn brightly, and then all of a sudden he heard a noise, the sound of someone gagging.

And when he turned around he was facing a Ghost, well probably not an actual ghost. But he was see-through, average clothes, messy hair, round glasses....heh, nerd. Then within seconds the 'Ghost' fell, a heavy thud resonating through the hallway. He gave a slight chuckle, ah so it had been a Ghostwalker huh?? Sneaky little shits. He walked over, pulling the guy up by the collar, but he didnt seem to react... Are you kidding me?! It gets them out cold to?! Ah man.....just Dean's luck again. Dean gave a deep sigh as he pulled the guy up, over his shoulder. Back to the office till the asshat wakes up.

(Note: This will simply be set in the first season of Supernatural, ive recently gotten back into the fandom but havent gotten a site to rewatch *i only got as far as meet Cas*. Also yes this is a Dean x OC, because i can and i will, Dean deserves someone that can scare the living daylight outta him, its my first attempt at writing properly in years, so please respect this :3).

[badwolfwrites-sometimes]

Drawn Together: Chapter 14

Happy birthday to Veneziano and Romano!

Three months passed, the friendship between Feliciano and Ludwig now as strong as steel. Yet, something has been bothering Feliciano about it.

Artisloveandlife: Do you think its strange how we ve been friends this long but we havent even seen each others faces

By now, Feliciano was also used to Ludwig's fast responses, even if he did scold him occasionally for it.

Artisloveandlife: People will think you re desperate

Lutzie71: Do you think I am desperate, Feliciano?

Artisloveandlife: Well no but others might

Lutzie71: I am only talking to you. Others don't matter now

Artisloveandlife: I dont think you understand how romantic that sounds

Lutzie71: It is just your mind

Point was, Feliciano was used to Ludwig's way of texting. From his perfect grammar to extreme time punctuation, but Feliciano liked him that way.

Lutzie71: I don't think it is all that unusual Lutzie71: There are people who enter relationships online, but have never seen each other  Lutzie71: On the contrary, I would call it an internet phenomenon

Artisloveandlife: Hmm Artisloveandlife: I guess your right Artisloveandlife: But i really wanna see your face Artisloveandlife: I bet you look super cute

Lutzie71: You're* Lutzie71: I don't see why not Lutzie71: But I want to see your face as well Lutzie71: It is only fair

Artisloveandlife: Deal Artisloveandlife: Show yourself warrior

*Lutzie71 has sent a picture*

Artisloveandlife: Wow you look like a viking Artisloveandlife: Are you a viking in secret Ludwig

Lutzie71: No, but I do have relatives in Scandinavia Lutzie71: Most people tell me I am scary at first, this is new

Artisloveandlife: Well you are kinda scary but i live with lovi Artisloveandlife: Nothing beats that

Lutzie71: That is reassuring Lutzie71: Now, a deal is a deal

Artisloveandlife: Wait im looking for the perfect lighting

*Artisloveandlife has sent a picture, half an hour later*

Artisloveandlife: I know it took me a while dont complain Artisloveandlife: Feat gino cuz we re cute

Lutzie71: I can't deny that Lutzie71: Gino steals the spotlight, but you aren't that bad yourself

Artisloveandlife: Very funny Artisloveandlife: Theres something else bothering me Artisloveandlife: Can you shorten you arent to yourent

Lutzie71: Feliciano, why Lutzie71: Let us go back to talking about pictures Lutzie71: I love the background in your picture

Artisloveandlife: Thanks Artisloveandlife: Its the view from my window on the adriatic sea Artisloveandlife: That painting i made for alice and otto was supposed to be of the adriatic but i messed up

Lutzie71: I still think it turned out perfect

Artisloveandlife: Thanks even tho you say that every time Artisloveandlife: Whats that behind you tho

Lutzie71: It is my brothers room and that is his poster of some metal band whose name I can't decipher Lutzie71: The letters are too bloody

Artisloveandlife: Can i see them

Lutzie71: Sure

*Lutzie71 has sent a picture*

Artisloveandlife: Thats slipknot

Lutzie71: That was fast

Artisloveandlife: Its art so Artisloveandlife: I can read anything

Lutzie71: I am impressed Lutzie71: I haven't asked today how are you? How is the situation with your family?

Artisloveandlife: Pretty good meo has midterms now and is freaking out and lovi is doing good Artisloveandlife: He found a better job and he seems to like it Artisloveandlife: And gino and pookie are as amazing as always im pretty sure pookie found a gf

Lutzie71: That is cute Lutzie71: My dogs are splendid as well

Artisloveandlife: And gil

Lutzie71: Annoying me

Artisloveandlife: Like a good big brother

Lutzie71: You could say Lutzie71: I hope you don't mind but I showed him your picture Lutzie71: He says you are cute and that he would like to go out with you one day

Artisloveandlife: Gil is str8forward Artisloveandlife: I cant date you gil you re too far away and i need cuddles

Lutzie71: You have broken his heart Lutzie71: Good job Feliciano

Artisloveandlife: Ill take that as a compliment

Lutzie71: Fine by me Lutzie71: He is crying now Lutzie71: Drama queen

Artisloveandlife: Gil could act in an opera show

Lutzie71: He has 0 talent for singing though

Artisloveandlife: Savage Artisloveandlife: Hey Ludwig Artisloveandlife: Its getting kinda difficult to talk on tumblr Artisloveandlife: I stopped getting your messages normally Artisloveandlife: Are you fine with switching to whatsapp or something

This time, Ludwig didn't respond as quickly as he usually would. His message came 20 minutes late.

Lutzie71: This feels like a good time to reveal Betty's secret Lutzie71: She actually gave me your number despite you saying no Lutzie71: She said it is all about the yaois and left

Artisloveandlife: Im  Artisloveandlife: Im going to kill her but before that thank you for being a good human being Ludwig Artisloveandlife: Unlike someone Artisloveandlife: You can send me a text then but i might not respond immediately im probably yelling at her

A couple of minutes later, as Feliciano was angrily texting Elizabeta hate messages, a message came from an unknown number. All that was written in it was Skree skree. Even after the whole situation with Lovino and Grandpa Rome was halfway resolved, Ludwig and Feliciano kept their pigeon talk, leading Feliciano to know exactly who it was.

♡~Feli~♡: Hi Ludwig

Ludwig: Hello Feliciano

♡~Feli~♡: I was just texting Lizzie how much i hate her how are you doin

Ludwig: Pretty alright Ludwig: She is reading me your texts at the couch Ludwig: I didn't know you were so vulgar

♡~Feli~♡: Yeah well i was really angry and she deserved it ♡~Feli~♡: I got it from my brother

Ludwig: I have never met them, but Betty tells me that Romeo is cute and Lovino is a prick Ludwig: Her words, not mine

♡~Feli~♡: Shes not that far from the truth ♡~Feli~♡: Although we all know im the cutest one ♡~Feli~♡: Do you want to meet my brothers

Ludwig: Someday yes

♡~Feli~♡: Okay

Feliciano pressed the camera button on the edge of his screen, calling Ludwig for a video call. It was either bad connection or Ludwig's anxiety that led to several attempts of this action before they finally managed to contact each other.

Feliciano smiled at his screen, Ludwig was going to hear his voice for the first time ever and he was going to hear his. "Hello!" He said, a bit higher than he wanted it to come out.

Ludwig looked around, nervous at this new way of talking, before finally responding in his natural voice. "Hello, Feliziano."

It was no secret that Feliciano cringed at the way Ludwig pronounced his name, but he mostly blamed it on the bad sound quality. "Your voice is so deep, please tell me a Kraken is not going to come out of your mouth. Also, that's not how you pronounce my name."

Ludwig tried his best to hide a smile forming at the corner if his lips, but Feliciano saw right through his pixelated face. "There are no Krakens in my mouth. If there were any, it is being digested right now."

"Oh, thank God." Feliciano laughed.

"You didn't tell me how to pronounce your name." Ludwig commented.

"It's a hard c, not a z. You're not saying Venezia, you're saying, uh..." Feliciano took a moment to look for comparisons. "Alice!"

"Feliciano." Ludwig tried saying it again.

"Much better."

"So, the same rules apply for i as they do for e?"

"Yes. But only if they come after c or g. And if you put h in between, then they are pronounced normally. C is k and g is g, like parcheggio." Feliciano explained.

"I see. What does parcheggio mean?" Ludwig asked.

"Parking lot." Feliciano said. "But that's not why I called."

"I quite enjoyed this conversation." Ludwig smiled.

"Of course you did. By the way, you're very cute when you smile. Now, do you wanna meet my brothers?" Feliciano asked.

Ludwig ignored the comment on his smiling face, avoiding the blush that would have otherwise be very obvious. "Why not."

"Okay. I'll give you a tour of the house while I find them." Feliciano said, getting up from his bed and showing Ludwig his room. "This is my room. If you can't tell it apart from all other rooms, mine has the best view. Remember that."

"Alright." Ludwig answered.

Feliciano exited his room and made his way down the stairs to the living room. "Our house should be a hotel." He said and Ludwig laughed. It really did have a lot of stairs.

When he was finally on the living room stairs, Feliciano spotted Lovino and Antonio on the couch, cuddling. "Hi, Toni!" He greeted.

Antonio waved at him and Lovino just looked at him, annoyed that his fun was ruined. Feliciano directed his attention back to Ludwig. "You get to meet Toni today as well. Lucky you, Luddy!" He said and jumped on the couch, separating Lovino and Antonio.

"Okay so, Ludwig, this is Lovi." Feliciano said, showing the phone to Lovino so Ludwig could see him better. "Lovi, this is Ludwig. He's my friend."

Lovino took a moment to take in Ludwig's appearance. "Feli." He called. "Why does that potato have hair?"

Feliciano was just about to tell him off, but Ludwig interrupted them. "When you leave a potato too long underground, it develops hair." Ludwig held back his laugh.

Lovino scoffed. "Well, aren't you a smartass."

"It is nice to meet you too, Lovino." Ludwig said.

"Fun fact. It's mine and Lovi's birthday soon. We were born on the same day two years apart." Feliciano chimed in.

"Best. Birthday present. Ever." Lovino said, Ludwig noted the sarcasm in his voice.

"And Meo was born in June. He betrayed us." Feliciano continued and moved his phone away from Lovino, towards Antonio.

Antonio offered Ludwig a big bright smile. "Hello!"

Ludwig was just about to answer, but Feliciano decided that wasn't going to happen today. "This is Toni. He's Lovi's boyfriend and we might have interrupted one of their make out sessions now."

"Don't worry about it, Feli. Nice to meet you, Ludwig." Antonio said, patting Feliciano's hair.

"Nice to meet you as well." Ludwig smiled. "I must say, you look rather familiar. Have you been to Germany before?"

"No. But I have a friend there. I met him when he got really drunk here in Italy." Antonio shook his head.

"That sounds like something my brother would do." As if he was summoned, a voice which probably belonged to Ludwig's brother chimed in.

"What is this gossip about the awesome me?" Another figure appeared behind Ludwig, with platinum white hair and piercing red eyes. A large smirk was glued on his face when he saw Feliciano on the phone, but it immediately turned to something less seductive when he noticed the person next to Feliciano.

Gilbert grabbed the phone from Ludwig's hands and took a closer look. "Toni!?" He asked.

Antonio's eyes went wide. Following Gilbert's reaction, he snatched the phone away from Feliciano and smiled. "Gil!"

Feliciano and Lovino were both watching their reactions. What in the world just happened? Neither knew the answer.

Gilbert continued. "What the hell are you doing there?"

"Feli is my friend. I had no idea he was friends with your brother! It's so nice to see you again, Gil!" Antonio answered.

"The world is too small for the awesome me. Still, I can't believe I'm seeing you there of all people." Gilbert shook his head like a grandpa.

Feliciano let the two of them talk for a little while more before joining Antonio on the screen. Gilbert smirked again when he saw him. "I'm glad you two got to talk it all out, but can I have Ludwig back please?" Feliciano asked.

Gilbert made a wounded expression at Feliciano's words. "Toni, call me." He said, making a phone gesture by his ear before passing the phone to Ludwig.

Ludwig just stared at Feliciano confused. "I have no idea what just happened."

"Me neither, but I'm glad they get along." Feliciano said. "Ready to meet Meo?"

Ludwig nodded and spotted his brother talking on the phone to someone. Judging by the voice he heard in the background from Feliciano, he suspected he was back to talking to Antonio. Feliciano's brother was sure to kill him now.

Feliciano walked back up the stairs to a dark hallway, at the end of it was a smaller room which Feliciano opened. However, instead of being met with light from the outside, he was met with more darkness and some tears. "Meo?" He called.

"Hm?" Came a sniffling answer.

"Midterms?" Feliciano asked.

"Yup."

"Can you talk now? I want to introduce you to my friend."

"Okay. Gimme a second." There was a shuffling sound and soon Romeo was up and smiling and Feliciano turned on the lights.

He walked towards Romeo's bed and sat on it, showing him Ludwig. "Meo, this is my friend Ludwig. Ludwig, this is Romeo. He's the youngest."

"Why you gotta rub it in my face? Nice to meet you, Ludwig. Don't listen to this guy, whatever he tells you about me, it's all lies." Romeo smiled.

Ludwig returned the gesture. "So, your name isn't Romeo and you're not the youngest?"

"Is that really all you have to say about me?" Romeo commented, pinching Feliciano.

"Ow! That's a good enough introduction, what do you want from me?" Feliciano said, caressing his wound from being pinched.

"My apologies. He did tell me more, but it didn't seem relevant." Ludwig said. "You're majoring in Chemistry, right? Good luck with your midterms."

"Yeah. They are a disaster, but I love blowing things up more." Romeo laughed.

"You are just like my brother." Ludwig said.

"I think we should leave now, Ludwig. Let Meo suffer in his pain." Feliciano said, smirking. This was revenge for pinching him before.

"Alright. Goodbye, Romeo. Good luck once again." Ludwig said and Feliciano took off, sticking out his tongue for Romeo, earning himself a middle finger up from Romeo.

The rest of the day, Feliciano and Ludwig spent just talking to each other. Elizabeta and her husband Roderich joined them briefly as well as Gilbert, but they mostly talked between themselves. Ludwig talked quite a lot about his dogs and Feliciano couldn't help his smile when he did. Ludwig was absolutely glowing when he talked about his dogs.

"Do you want to talk like this tomorrow again?" Feliciano asked. The clock on his wall showing that it was already well past midnight.

"Sure, I don't mind. If it is just the two of us." Ludwig said.

"Just the two of us then." Feliciano smiled. "Good night, Ludwig."

"Good night, Feliciano." Ludwig said and Feliciano broke the call. He voted the call as excellent and shut down his phone, his battery giving up on life as he did.

Feliciano laid down in his bed, thinking about what an eventful day it was. He recited some of the conversations between himself and Ludwig before falling asleep with a smile on his face.

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 5 of don’t read the last page is here!

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

He’d put the phone down on the counter while he made breakfast, but now that his hands were free again he still didn’t pick it up; after their initial awkward phone call, they’d started FaceTiming instead, and as much as he loved seeing her face, he was really glad she couldn’t see his right now.

“And I was soo confused, so I started telling her, like, ‘Seriously, Honey, he’s got this amazing blond hair that you just like, want to touch all the time and these big brown eyes and little freckles and plus I’m pretty sure he’s kind of ripped and I—‘ Kristoff, I heard the microwave go off already. Are you hiding from me?”

“No,” he muttered, his face turning even redder.

chapter 5

day 1

Sven was just stumbling into the kitchen when Kristoff came in. He frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

“You look really happy for someone who just dropped off their girlfriend at the airport for a six-week trip,” he said, pouring a glass of chocolate milk. 

“Not my girlfriend.”

“Not the important part of that sentence.”

Kristoff snagged the bottle and poured himself a cup. “This is mine, by the way, so you owe me.”

“Fine, I’ll buy toilet paper l-- no, I know you, Bjorgman, you’re trying to distract me.”

Sven narrowed his eyes further, fixing Kristoff with a hard stare. He tried to look as innocent as possible as he went to rummage through the fridge, but then he remembered the way Anna had clung to him, the feel of her little hands in his hair, the press of her lips against--

“Oh my god! You kissed her!”

Kristoff stood, not bothering to hide his smile anymore. “Well, technically, she kissed me.”

“I fucking called it, man, I knew you wouldn’t be able to hold off that much longer.”

“We really did try.”

“You didn’t even make it a week, my guy,” Sven said amiably, meandering into the living room. “You tried harder at Mario Kart the other night. Which, by the way, I know you lost on purpose so Anna could win.”

Kristoff considered arguing, but then his phone lit up with a text from Anna, so instead he grinned and walked away to the sound of Sven sighing dramatically. “I heard that buzz! I know it’s her! Jesus, I’d say get a room, but--”

Kristoff didn’t hear the rest as he shut his bedroom door.

kris!! theres wifi i can text you

Im in first class look 

..

That’s crazy

They gave you champagne this early in the morning?

..

supposed to be for mimosas

but it’s like 5 o clock somewhere

specifically romania so

..

That jet lag is going to be rough.

How long is your flight?

..

10 hrs to london then 3 to bucharest💀

but i think my seat turns into a bed so ill try to sleep

theres sooooo many movies tho!

omg theyre bringing more snacks….i feel like a movie star already

..

You kind of are.

..

havent made the movie yet!!

oh the director is here he wants to talk ttyl

..

:)

---

day 4

For some reason, her hands were shaking as they hovered over the green button. “Just do it, Anna,” she muttered to herself. “It’s just Kristoff. He told you to call.”

Thanks to the time difference and long flights, it had taken most of two days to even get here, and on her first full day in Romania she’d been so overwhelmed with the film set and meeting her co-star Adam and talking to the directors and producers and costumers and cameramen that she’d completely crashed the moment she’d gotten back to her hotel room. She’d woken up in the middle of the night and sent Kristoff a quick text apologizing for not calling; he’d responded almost immediately, reassuring her that it was fine and to just call him the next day. At a reasonable hour, he’d made sure to add, not at 2 A.M. Go back to sleep.

She had, and then she’d nearly missed her alarm and hadn’t had time to call him in the morning, and then she’d been filming her first scene and been so overwhelmed by all of that that now it was nearly six o’clock, and it was the first time she’d gotten to look at her phone all day.

He’d texted her once at around 9 A.M. her time. Good luck today! You’ll kill it. Her heart had done a funny little flip at the message, simple as it was; every time she thought of Kristoff, it didn’t feel quite real, like it was just a daydream she would wake up from, but here it was, concrete proof that even literally halfway around the world-- more than halfway, actually-- he was still thinking of her, still caring about her.

The remembrance of that was what finally gave her the courage to hit call. She felt too nervous to FaceTime him, especially considering she was already in sweatpants and halfway through eating a bowl of pasta on her bed. He picked up on the third ring, sounding breathless for some reason.

“Hey! Anna! How are you?”

“I’m, um, I’m good! How are you? You sound kind of...out of breath?”

“Oh, yeah, you caught me at the gym, so I--”

“Oh! I’m so sorry, let me hang up and--”

“No, don’t! I’m almost done, just--”

There was a quick beep in the background, and a whirring noise she hadn’t noticed until now stopped. “Okay, sorry, we’re good.”

She couldn’t help but imagine what he looked like right now, with his hair hanging in his eyes and sweat dripping down his very well-muscled--

“Anna? You there?”

He’d just asked her something, but she’d been too busy daydreaming to catch it. Maybe it really was for the best she hadn’t gone for FaceTime; she probably would have been struck speechless at the sight of him. “Sorry, I was just-- sorry. Um. What did you say?”

He laughed softly. “I asked how your first day of filming went.”

“Oh! It was good, really good, actually. We filmed that scene I auditioned with, actually. They changed the bit about the cowboy boots.”

“Thank god. I don’t know anything about movies, but I know that was awful.”

“Oh, yeah, Adam-- that’s who’s playing Jesse-- he said they’d have to double his paycheck if they wanted him to say shit like that, and then we kind of improv-ed something else and it went really well.”

“That’s awesome!”

Anna felt herself blushing, just barely, at the sound of the genuine pride in his voice. “It was, um, it was nothing, really.”

“So how’s all of it going? Are the...um...honestly, I don’t know who all is involved in making movies. But are the other people nice?”

“Yeah! I really like the girl who does my hair and makeup, her name’s Honey. Isn’t that cute?”

Kristoff laughed; she could hear him starting the car in the background. Anna bit her lip. “Oh-- did you get to shower?”

“I will at home, don’t worry. Anyway--”

“You need to focus on driving? Yeah, I totally get it, seriously. Bye!”

She hit the red button and quickly dropped her phone. Her heart had been pounding the whole time; god, she was really out of practice with this whole thing. Embarrassment swept over her, and she buried her face in her knees; how the hell was this going to work when she was too self-conscious to talk to him for more than five minutes? God, she’d be lucky if he ever bothered to call her again after this.

To her surprise, the phone buzzed only a moment later. She debated picking it up for a long moment, then decided to go ahead and rip the bandaid off and snatched it up.

Just FYI, I was feeling really nervous, too. Want me to call you back after I get home and shower?

For some reason, tears started to fill her eyes as she typed a response. 

yes please :)

She showered, too, taking her time as she let the hot water work its magic on the tension in her shoulders, drawing in slow, deep breaths to steady herself. It wasn’t that every guy she’d ever dated had been bad, per se, just that it had been quite a long time since she’d been with someone who made her feel this nervous and excited and terrified and joyful all at once-- actually, now that she thought about it, she didn’t know if she’d ever liked someone else this much right off the bat. Since coming to L.A. almost two years ago, she’d had a string of bad luck with men, and it was strange readjusting to the notion that one would want to talk to her as much as she wanted to talk to him, that he actually wanted to hear about her day, that he saw right through all her embarrassing little defense mechanisms and somehow knew just what to say to make her feel better. Of course they knew each other, but this was something different, something more, as if she didn’t even have to say something for him to understand.

Her phone buzzed again ten minutes after she got out of the shower; with a smile, she picked it up.

“Hey, Kris.”

“Hey, Anna.”

“Ready to try again?”

“With you? Always.”

---

day 9

“So I was telling her, like, ‘I wish I had a recent picture of him to show you because he’s like, super super hot.’ And she kind of made this face and was like ‘that won’t make a difference.’”

He’d put the phone down on the counter while he made breakfast, but now that his hands were free again he still didn’t pick it up; after their initial awkward phone call, they’d started FaceTiming instead, and as much as he loved seeing her face, he was really glad she couldn’t see his right now. 

“And I was soo confused, so I started telling her, like, ‘Seriously, Honey, he’s got this amazing blond hair that you just like, want to touch all the time and these big brown eyes and little freckles and plus I’m pretty sure he’s kind of ripped and I—‘ Kristoff, I heard the microwave go off already. Are you hiding from me?”

“No,” he muttered, his face turning even redder. 

Anna giggled. “Then show me your face.”

He did so reluctantly; to his surprise, she didn’t laugh. “Kris, you know you are, like, super handsome, right? Seriously.”

“I’m, um, I’m just gonna—“

“I mean it. Like I get why you’re feeling shy about it and stuff but just know that, okay?”

He only nodded, feeling a little better, although his face was still heated. Anna, knowing when to leave well enough alone, smiled at him and continued her story. “Anyway, I told her all that and she just started laughing, and finally when I was done she was like ‘Anna, I’m gay’. And so then I showed her a picture of my sister, and I’m just saying, when we’re back in LA, we’re definitely doing a double date.”

—-

day 15

She didn’t know why she felt so nervous about telling him about it. She’d already texted him that morning telling him what scenes they were filming, and it wasn’t like it had meant anything; it was just part of the movie, and Adam was married anyway— but then again, it wasn’t that part that had really been bothering her. She still wasn’t sure until she was explaining it all to Kristoff, forcing herself to maintain eye contact as she held up her phone inside the blanket nest she’d constructed on her bed. 

“And like, he and I are good friends now, so that at least made it easier. And we were all in character and stuff, so, you know, it felt right, and then they started the fake snow going and we just did it, you know?”

“Uh-huh,” Kristoff said, his voice neutral. 

“That like— this doesn’t bother you, right?” she asked quickly. “Because seriously, it didn’t mean—“

“Anna, I know. This is literally your job, I’m not jealous or anything. But please tell me if I ever make you feel like I’m mad or something, because I’m seriously not.”

She let out the breath she’d been holding. “I— I know. I just...wanted to make sure. Because it still, like...still felt weird to me, you know? And I can’t figure out why.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “Have you done this before? Like, stage kissing and stuff?”

“Oh, yeah, lots of times. But this time felt kind of different. I just don’t know why.”

He considered it for a moment, looking so thoughtful she couldn’t help but smile, feeling a little flutter in her chest at the thought that he really and truly cared about helping her figure this out. “Enough about me, though, tell me about that crazy to-go order you texted me about. Did you end up getting to see the person who’d ordered it?”

They talked for so long Anna lost track of time, until she yawned so widely Kristoff stopped talking mid-sentence. 

“Anna, what time is it there?”

“Um...close to eleven?”

“What time did you get up this morning?”

“...four.”

He laughed softly. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow morning, okay?”

She wanted to argue, but honestly she’d been fighting to keep her eyes open for the last half hour. “Night, Kris.”

“Night, Anna. Sweet dreams.”

He said that every night, but the way he’d smiled tonight— she was thinking about it until long after she’d hung up her phone and closed her eyes. Then, suddenly, she sat upright and snatched it up again, typing furiously. 

figured it out...before, there’s never been someone i ACTUALLY wanted to kiss instead 

..

:)

I wish it had been me, too. 

—

day 21

hey kris!!! sorry i know it’s the middle of the night there so i hope this doesn’t wake you up but i set an alarm on my phone for the exact time and as of like 10 seconds ago we’re halfway there!!!!!!! 😊😊😊

To her surprise, a response came just a few minutes later. 

:) Knew we could do this.

—

day 23

“I got my class schedule today.”

“Yeah? Show me!”

He held it up awkwardly to the camera, and she squinted at it. “Oh, wow, that’s a lot of blocks. Are you still going to work at Starbucks?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there the whole time I’ve been in school. Just work less hours on weekdays, usually pick up some early morning weekend shifts.”

“Oh, that sucks.”

He shrugged. “It works out. I, uh, I’ve got some scholarships that cover most of my tuition, so then it’s, y’know. Rent money and stuff.”

Anna frowned, feeling suddenly acutely aware of how much money she was making for a lot less work. “Will you have, like...any free time?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” he said quickly, suddenly sounding nervous. “I promise I’ll still have time to hang out with you and stuff, just--”

“No, no that’s like-- shit, that’s not what I meant, Kris, I mean I kind of did but like-- I’m not trying to like, pressure you or--”

“No, I get it, I--”

“No, I mean like school is way important and you like--”

“Seriously, when I say we can--”

Anna took a deep breath. “Okay. You talk first.”

“I, um. I don’t want you to think, like, I won’t make time for you or something, though. Um-- that was all.”

She smiled, wishing she could be there in person; it was so much easier to reassure him when she could just squeeze his hand. “Seriously, that’s not what I meant. I was just worried about you, ‘cause that’s, like, a lot of stress. So if there’s anything I can do to like, help or whatever, just...just let me know. Like...with anything.”

“Seriously, I think it’ll help a ton to just have a pretty girl keeping me company while I study.”

She felt her cheeks turn pink. “What if I end up wanting to distract you?”

Now she wasn’t the only one blushing.

---

day 30

“Miss you.”

“Miss you, too.”

Tonight, there wasn’t really anything else to say.

—- 

day 34

He’d stopped leaving his phone on silent overnight; it was silly, really, but he always had a tiny fear that maybe something would happen over in Romania while he was asleep, and maybe Anna would need to reach him, and there probably wouldn’t be anything he could actually do...but still.

Despite that, though, it still took a lot to wake him, so when his phone went off one night close to three in the morning, he nearly missed the call. “Hello?” he mumbled sleepily, putting it to his ear.

He heard a familiar little giggle. “It’s FaceTime, Kris. I’m sorry to wake you up, I just-- I really wanted you to see this.”

“Oh-- hang on.” He fumbled for his glasses on the nightstand, sliding them on and blinking blearily at the screen. “Um...where are you? I just see, like...the ceiling?”

“Oh-- that’s cause I gave my phone to Honey, just a second, and she’ll show you.”

The phone was lifted up suddenly by a pretty woman with bronze skin and dark hair thrown up into a bun. “Nice to meet you, Anna’s boyfriend.”

He wondered if she could see him blush even in the dark room. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Okay, okay, I’m ready!” he heard Anna chirp from somewhere. “Turn the camera!”

Honey did with a laugh, and Kristoff sat upright, his eyes wide. Anna was in a deep blue ballgown that fit perfectly to her torso before flaring out into a long, shimmery skirt. Her hair was down, set in curls that shone especially bright against the dark color of the gown, and she was smiling so brightly he thought his heart was going to burst.

“You look beautiful, baby,” he said, half-convinced he was still dreaming.

She was quiet for a moment, and then he realized she was blushing bright red. He heard Honey giggle, and then the phone was being handed back over to Anna. “You’ve never called me that before.”

“What, beautiful? I definitely--”

“No, I--” Her blush deepened. “Kris, are you wearing a shirt?”

He glanced down. “Oh-- uh, no, I’m not. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be able to see without the lights--”

A mischievous glint was twinkling in her eye. “Trust me, Bjorgman, there’s nothing to apologize for.”

Now he was blushing, too. “Um-- so you’ve got to be filming something special today, right?”

“Yeah, the big ballroom scene. I just...I really love this dress, and the way Honey did my hair and stuff, and I, um...I wanted you to see.”

He smiled softly. “I’m glad. You really do look so, so beautiful.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but then he heard Honey call, “Hey, Anna, say bye to the boyfriend, they want you on set in five.”

Anna turned back to the camera, looking suddenly nervous. “Kris, are you my boyfriend?”

“Do you want me to be?”

“Yeah.”

He grinned, no longer sleepy. “Okay.”

Anna laughed. “Okay?”

“Hey, it’s still the middle of the night, and I’m still kind of speechless after seeing you in that dress. Cut me some slack.”

“Go back to bed. Sorry I woke you up.”

He yawned. “I’m not.”

---

day 40

“Look! All packed!” She grinned, turning her phone quickly around the room to show off her only slightly overstuffed suitcases. “And ready to come home!”

“Do you think you’ll miss it?”

“No, I mean...it’s beautiful and all here, but it’s still not home.”

Kristoff grinned at that. “You still want me to pick you up from the airport?”

“Um, is that even a question?”

He laughed. “Just making sure! I mean, six weeks is a long time, don’t know if you got tired of me.”

“Kristoff, the second I get back to LA, I’m like, jumping on you again and kissing the fuck out of you.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “And then?”

She could tease him, too. “And then you’d better hurry the hell up and take me back to your apartment so I can show you how much I missed you.”

“....Jesus Christ. Why does waiting two more days suddenly feel so much longer than the other forty?”

[fisherfurbearer]

fuck sam walmarts

and fuck management

I’ve had it. Left the store in tears tonight.

as some peoople probably/hopefully know. walmart closes at 6 pm on christmas eve. no one actually gets to leave at 6 becuase of shitty last minute customers. but it is what it is.

this. is really personal but im honestly SO close to just. killing myself? so who cares

basically. had a really really bad last few days. spent a lovely time with family (jessies family, his oma and opa and sister and parents and it was just a great time. theyre more family to me than most of my blood family) but it did make me Sad in Deep ways as we dont know if this is going to be our last christmas with his oma who isnt doing so good. and it just twisted me up a little but was othewrsiwse a great day. but then sunday i just...had a huge breakdown in the morning and decided to use my accomodation (i get 2 excused absenses a month) to cool down and gte myself together. slept a lot. woke up adn got a lot done, felt great, then i CRASHED really really bad, got really angry, lashed otu, took like...8-10 sleeping pills...theyre horrific things and im never doing that again...had to sleep for two days after that...felt horrifically sick, in pain, just awful. had repeating nightmares over and over. which has also been wearing me down recently. wasnt able to work monday either because i still couldnt stand and between the pills and the depression/anxiety and really just. felt like the world was ending.

decided sometime last night id just...try my best to make it in today, work my shift (really long 9-6, knowing i wouldnt leave on time nad htisis my first time working in 5 days now...which is rough...) and if i can get through this, i have another couple days off in a row after that (schedules fault, not mine...do feel awful i missed 3 days before that though...) and we can just. get back on track

today i DID go to work, jessie drove me in

i worked. a long time. im supposed to get a break every 2 hours and a 1 hour lunch

i gott my first break on timeish.

then i got my lunch 6 hours after i got in. at which time i got “locked out” for not taking my lunch and coudlnt do anything on the registers. i was supposed to get it 4 hours in. its christmas eve and excruciating and im still in pain and tired from my previous days breakdowns, but otherwise?? i did really good. i didnt mind at all that my lunch was so late. i was a little miffed, but its ok. i dont care, so long as i get it eventually. anyway they FINALLY noticed i was locked out and got me coverage and i ended my lunch at 4. things continued ok. worked on self checkout, met a lot of regulars i really like, prevented $200 of theft (HAHA WOW that was really really funny i love preventing petty theft. i prevent so much theft every week its my pride and joy) just did okay. then they had us close self checkout that took a little while. then at 5:00-5:10 or so i went to my Manager/Supervisor/”““People LEad” as walmart is now trying to call them, lets call her manager Y, and i told her i still need my break and will i get it before i leave. she said go to register 4. i asked again hey will i get my break though and she said yeah and i thought to mysel HAHA thats not going to happen but ok

really stupid that after bieng locked out the first time she couldnt give me my break before i openned a register with a line i cant get rid of

anywayy i did ok otherwise for a while

but at 5:25 or so i reminded a CSM “hey i need my break still can i get that?” and she just ssaid yeah well try to get someone and then more time passed so much time. i put through an ask on the register “assistance needed”. waited another 10 minutes. “assistance needed” again. starting to get anxious. its past 5:40. the line is so long. theres so MUCH NOISE. Its SO LOUD. the intercom keeps going off, no one is responding to me, i dont have a mat to stand on so my knees HURT,, im not doing okk

i switch my light to flashing/need assistance and start looking for someone to ask for help. its 5:45, i need my break NOW, i DESERVE IT for workng this long ass shift and they already missed several of my last breaks a week ago AND got me locked out today and im STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS PELASE I JUST WANT MY BREAK SO BAD

nnthgen a csm is passing by im about to lose it, so i tell her CSM J, please i really need my break now PLEASE and im starting to ccry and i try to tell her whats going on but she shushes me and goes and gets sometone

im full on tears at this point, im so strreesed out,,

manager Y and some other snooty manager come over andd. ffkcing. ask me whats wrong. im crying and i try to explain im really really stressed out, i havent had my last break, ive been trying to get someone for so long now, i just really need to leave im so sorry

and theyy just. fckkng

ffcking manager Y jjst ssays ok “ill give you your break” and “this is your last break” and i ssaid?? yeah i knoww?? andd she saidd “next time youre like this, just dont come in”

i quote that completeltyyy....i really lost it then...i cried som muchh

this isnt the first itme she said something like this to meee...

she asked me “why are you CRYING” When i had an anxiety attacki n the store once, when ic cloked in and couldnt get myself together,, she didnt give me time to calm down, she didnt listen as to why, she just said “why are you crying. this is a BUSINESS. you cant be CRYING Here.” and i just said ok ill go home bye and leftt

andd when i tried to get my availability changed from 7-9 to 7-6/7-7 because the random late shifts with 7 am shifts was messing me up really really bad and my doctor thinks i need to hcange it too, she just said “i cant do that. thisi sa BUSINESS.” and she wouldnt listen when i said i might have to quit because of this, this is for my health, im literally scheduled 7-2 every sunday in december, busiest day of the busiest month and you cant even chop TWO HOURS off my weekend availability????

andd i jjst

ive HAD IT with her

ive had ittt

im so ashamed and angry and anxious and i still havent stopped cryingg. she called me over to her again as i was leaving and she blamed me for it. she ssaid a customer was upset that i “Screamed” (ues i raised my voice a little but i wasnt screaming??? also the two customers i was attending to when this was going on and i cried were VERY KIND nad jjst said i was doing a good job and thanked me for being there) and called a manager over (but...csm J got them?? not a customer...??) and i cant be acitng like this, i cant do customer service when im stressed,, and d i should just STAY HOME If im going to be like that

then shee fufkcing toold me i DID IT WRONG, that i “shouldve called someone over” I TOLD HER I DID!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAIL INTO MY HEAD IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE REGISTER SO I DIDNT, I DID EVERYTHING ELSE I COULD THOUGH!!! I REQUESTED HELP TWICE!! I TURNED MY LIGHT TO FLASHING!!! I TRIED TO CATCH A MANAGER WALKING BY TO HELP ME!!! N OONE LISTENED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, I DID EVERYHTING I COULD!! yet she seriously told me to my face that “you didnt call anyone”, “you couldve turned your light to flashing” WHICH I DID and sshee jjst said that i made customers uncomfortable and i cant work like thatt and just stay hhome

ii stayed home sunday because i was having a mjor mental emergencyy.

i came in today because i was feeling better and i took it eaasy and ended up doing a wonderful job and mad eso many people smilea nd fixed so many problems that wouldve otherwise upset a lot of folks and i met my regulars and made old folks smile andd i prevented a lot of theft that no one else wouldve caughtt and i jjstt broke down after 9 hours and not getting a last break and all the chaos of register (WHICH BY THE WAY THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE REGISTER!!! I THRIVE ON SLE FCHECOUT!!! THATS MY JOB TITLE!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!! THEY KNOW THISS!!!!) and HER AVOIDING GIVING ME MY FUCKING BREAK and NOT RESPECTING MY FFUCKING METNAL DISABILITIES LJNASDKAJHDBASJSDNAJSNDKANSD

I JJST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOO

i really want to die and i really want to never go back but i really loved my job i loved helpting people ii jjst hate her so muchhh and i feel GENUINE DREAD/SEVERE ANXIETY jjst SEEING her nnow

she doesnt CARE about anyone but herself shes a horrible peson i cant tell the store manager though cause she wont care either and manager Y has more clout than me so shell just twist my words and make me out as the bad guy as hte “CRAZY ONE” who cries and gets stressed (FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS AFTER BEING PUSHED OVER THE EDGE) even tthough i work SO FFRIKCING HARD and do SUCH A GOOD JOB and asdjanjsdhajshdas

i d ont know what to doo

i cant work another job because no where else pays as much or will let me do self checkout only, because being a cashier stresses me so muchh

ii...really wanntted to grow stuff and make preserves and sell bee products and work with folks raising heritage sheep and make more fiber art andd open a little stall at a local market and sell all that,, and offer more online and do customs andd stuff

i know i could mkae money that wa ybut i ccantt start it so sudenly and im too Broken to do it seriouslyy and i dont even want to HAVE to quit because of ONE PERSON But shes done this so many times now and this is the nfinfal streaww

i jjst dont know what to doo...

i cantt stop cryingg

i cant even enjoy christmas nnow. wanted to see my stepdad and give him his presernt and maybe be ok.

last christmas we had to move because our house was condemned after a fire. now im going to have to lose my job because of a horrible manager who doenst respect my metnal health or anything about me reallyy. and unfortunately im such a failure that i cant. do anything else and if i lose this job ill lse my animla sand i wotnt be able to do anyhtingg andd im jjust fucking trash

goddammit i dont know what to do. i really dont. hhahaaa. i just really want to end it. ive come so far and none of it fucking matters because of thiss fucking horrible manager.