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cozage · 1 year ago

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The Mystery Baker

A/N: just a morsel of Zosan Characters: Sanji x Zoro, but a few of the strawhats are included too :) Total word count: 1.4k

Sanji hadn’t been off the boat for long. He only had to run and grab a few items from the island they had landed on, and he then had come right back, eager to wait on Nami’s and Robin’s every need.

But when he entered the kitchen, the delightful smell of chocolate chip cookies filled his nostrils. On the cooling rack laid a dozen cookies, still warm from the oven.

Cookies that he hadn’t made.

Someone had been using his kitchen while he was gone.

He couldn’t think of anyone on the ship who would bake, especially while he wasn’t around. If anyone had needs, they simply asked him and he fulfilled them. He couldn’t decide if he should be annoyed someone used his space, or thrilled that someone was interested in the art of creating food.

The cookies were still warm, but he picked one up and smelled it. They were made from scratch, he could smell the specialized ingredients in them. An over-indulgent amount of sugar, chocolate chips, vanilla, and a few ingredients he hadn’t expected to sense. Cream cheese, almond extract, and nutmeg..or was it cinnamon? It was so faint, he could barely make it out.

Sanji bit off a small piece, curious how the flavors interacted with each other, and let out a soft moan from the taste. The cookies were a perfect mix of savory and sweet, the chocolate chips instantly melting in his mouth.

Not that he’d ever admit it, but Sanji wasn’t sure if he could make a chocolate chip cookie that tasted this heavenly. The after flavors swirled and lingered in his mouth, making him fall in love with their creator without even knowing who they belonged to.

He shoved the rest in his mouth and plated a few to take along with him, eager to find out who had created them. It was clear that whoever had made this dessert had put extreme precision and care into the process. Such a feat was only handled by a woman’s gentle touch, so he set off to find Robin.

“Robin, my love!” He sang as he danced over to her. “If you wanted to make sweets, all you had to do was ask!”

Robin’s eyes flicked up from her book and rested on the tray of desserts.

“Cookies!” Nami called, walking up behind Sanji and plucking one from the plate. “Sanji, you really shouldn’t have!”

Nami took a bite, eyes rolling back in her head in delight. “You’ve really outdone yourself,” she praised, mouth still full. “These are amazing!”

Sanji gave a smile, pleased to see that Nami enjoyed them. But he couldn’t take the credit for them. “Actually, Robin-chan-”

“I didn’t make them,” Robin interjected, smiling as she watched Nami swoon over a dessert. “But I would like to try one, given Nami’s reaction.”

Robin tried to hide her satisfaction, but it was evident to Sanji that she had the same emotions towards the sweet as both he and Nami had.

But now, Sanji was extremely confused. If it wasn’t Robin or Nami, then he wasn’t sure who had the capability to cook. In fact, there were probably only three other men on the ship who even knew how to use an oven, and he was certain none of them would have the touch to create such a delightful treat.

“Franky!” Sanji called, entering the workshop. “Did you use my kitchen while I was gone?”

Sparks flew from Franky’s project, but the cyborg stopped his experiment and turned his attention to the cook.

“Oh hey, dude! Dinner time already?!” Franky set down his tools and brushed himself off, but Sanji shook his head.

“Did you use the kitchen today?” Sanji asked again, holding up the tray of cookies.

“Weird bribe, but no.” Franky took a cookie and threw it in his mouth. His eyes instantly sparkled, tears overflowing in an instant.

“Hey man, these are like, the most super cookies I’ve ever had! Let me have another one!”

Sanji had a bad feeling in his gut now and quickly moved the tray away from the cyborg.

“You’ll get better ones later!” he shouted, storming out the door and down the hallway.

Nothing was making any sense. The only other person Sanji could see baking was Brook, but he didn’t even have tastebuds to make them. Everyone else was useless in the kitchen; worse than useless.

Perhaps someone had snuck aboard and put poison in the cookies in an attempt to kill or weaken the crew. Perhaps a drug had been added to the mixture, and now half of the crew would be unable to fight if someone were to attack.

That had to be the explanation. Even if he didn’t feel strange now, surely the effects would kick in soon. Of course nobody on the ship had cooked in his kitchen without his permission. Of course they had waited for him to get back. Of course he-

“What the hell are you doing with my cookies?” A gruff voice called from behind him, startling him from his thoughts.

Sanji’s head swiveled around to find that annoying swordman glaring at him from down the hallway.

The blonde scoffed. “These are not your cookies.”

“Like hell they’re not!” Zoro stormed toward the cook and snatched the plate from his hands. “I made them!”

Sanji reached for the plate, his anger rising. “You couldn’t make something this delicious, mosshead! Nice try!”

“What the hell do you mean?!” Zoro held the cookies just out of reach. “I made them while you were gone! I always make them while you go shopping!”

“I’ve never seen them here before!”

Sanji lunged for the plate, but Zoro blocked him with his own body, and Sanji could smell the faint smell of vanilla and almonds on the swordsman’s skin.

“I usually make them and eat them before you get back!” Zoro shouted, pressing his forehead against Sanji’s to keep him locked in place. “Don’t even give me shit about it, because I clean up everything and put it back before you finish your little island visits.”

His words gave Sanji pause. Being this close, Sanji could smell the chocolate and spices across Zoro’s breath, and for some reason he found himself flustered at his proximity to Zoro’s lips.

He quickly ripped himself away from the swordsman, still glaring at him. There was no way that a shitty swordsman like him could create something sent straight from the heavens. Sanji refused to accept that.

“And where exactly did you learn to bake like that?” Sanji shot back, trying to ignore the drumming in his ears.

“The dojo!” Zoro yelled. “We had a baking fundraiser every month to raise money! Now, do you mind? I’d like to go enjoy my cookies in peace!”

“Get out of my sight,” Sanji hissed, turning away from the swordsman. “And don’t use my kitchen without asking!”

“As if you’d ever realize I was in there!” Zoro yelled back, storming away.

God, Sanji’s heartbeat was so loud in his chest, he was certain the whole island could hear it. And his face felt so abnormally hot that he had to go to the bathroom just to calm down.

That damn swordsman was always pissing him off, making him worked up over things for no reason. He splashed some water on his face and checked himself in the mirror. His cheeks were still pink from how angry he was about the whole ordeal.

He had been looking forward to convincing Nami or Robin to make a fresh batch with him by their side. He would have followed their every order and listened to their every demand. And once he had learned how to make them, those ladies would never have to work again. He would make them whenever they requested.

But that hadn’t been the case. He couldn’t even admit that he was craving another one, because even just saying that would give the mosshead an overwhelming amount of satisfaction that Sanji refused to give him.

He finally worked up the nerve to walk into the kitchen, where he found one chocolate chip cookie on a plate. A note lay next to it, and Sanji picked it up to read it.

Since you thought they were so delicious, here’s another one. Will show you how to make them if you ask.

Sanji had to admit, the idea of cooking with the swordsman by his side made his heart flutter.

#one piece #one piece imagine #one piece scenario #zosan #one piece zosan #op zosan #zosan fanfic #zoro x sanji #sanji x zoro #sanji #zoro #✧˚zoro✧˚#✧˚sanji✧˚

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beepbeepsan · 5 days ago

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Sandwich Scouting: The Eliot Bagel

As a new year’s resolution, I’m breaking out of my usual sandwich habits to try new flavors and seek new experiences. For November, I tried a recipe inspired by some guy on Leverage (😁), posted by @2glassesofchianti here, and suggested to me by @thirdspin! Thanks!

Description: Turkey, tomato, cheeses, and caramelized onion bagel sandwich.

Rating: 8/10

Difficulty: 2/5

I made an effort with this one, guys! Bread has frequently been the low point, so I made sure to go to an actual bagel shop - but unfortunately they only had plain bagels by the time I got there. Oh well I tried.

The sandwich was very good, although extremely slippery & messy due to the cream cheese melting (maybe I go too hard on the cream cheese). The turkey, tomato, dill havarti, and bagel all had pretty mellow flavors; it was the seasoned cream cheese and of course the caramelized onions that starred. I didn't mind that at all! But something sharper in the other ingredients would have been nice to balance it.

I knew caramelizing onions would take a while, so I watched a couple episodes of a comfort show while prepping dinner. I did this instead of working on my writing.

This was my first time making caramelized onions, but I think they turned out well! I spent a good 40-50 minutes cooking them down slowly.

Steps:

Caramelize some onions. There's a bajillion articles on how to do this. I thinly sliced sweet onions and cooked them in nice olive oil & salt for about 45 or 50 minutes on medium low heat, stirring frequently, until they were super reduced and very brown.

Flavor some cream cheese. I mixed in sliced green onion, minced garlic, garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper, and a tiny bit of vinegary hot sauce.

Toast your bagel. When it's almost done, sear your sliced turkey in the onion pan.

Build: bagel bottom, cream cheese, turkey, dill havarti, sliced tomato, caramelized onions, more cream cheese on bagel top.

Wrap in foil and bake at 400 F / 205 C for 6 minutes.

If I tried it again: I'd use an everything bagel like recommended. Maybe a sharper cheese too, to combat the onions; I didn't really taste the havarti. A lettuce leaf would be a nice addition as well for some crunch. Sorry for questioning you, Eliot, whoever you are.

Misc. notes: Are caramelized onions damn tasty? Hell yeah. Am I likely to make them again? ...actually, maybe. I'm a person of simple taste and little patience, but these may be worth the time once in a while. I sure enjoyed them on my sandwich, and I'm looking forward to eating the rest. I still have a bit of goat bleu cheese that may go well...

#thanks again for the rec and the recipe!#hope y'all don't mind me making the sandwich without having seen the show lol #sandwich scouting #beep talks #bagel sandwich

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the-salty-avocado · 3 months ago

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Kale rice au gratin 🥬

I still had more kale ready in the garden. You can’t let greens sit in the soil too long when mature because they go bitter. So, I made this dish!

🥄 Spoon rating: 5/5

Reason: having to pre cooked rice, grating the cheese since Gruyère doesn’t come pre-shredded, chopping vegetables, and it makes ton of dishes.

I recommend only doing this dish when feeling good or getting help like I did.

Ingredients:

1 C cooked rice

1-2 bunches kale

2 C sliced fennel (about one large bulb)

3 tbsp olive oil

1 yellow onion

1 1/2 tbsp garlic

1 tsp thyme

4 eggs

3/4 C heavy cream

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

1 tbsp Dijon mustard

1/2 tsp nutmeg

2 cups shredded Gruyère cheese

1/4 C Corn Flake crumbs* (pictured at end)

1/4 C shredded Parmesan

2 Tbsp more olive oil

Instructions:

Pre cook rice ahead of time.

Chop and kale, removing stem.

Grate cheeses

Slice fennel (Remove the fronds. Chop the very end of the bulb off. Slice thinly on mandolin or by hand.)

Bring a medium pot of salted water to boil. Cook kale for 5 mins then drain and set aside.

Pre heat oven for 375 F

In a large skillet add 3 tbsp oil and heat to medium. Cooked onions and fennel for about 5 mins

Add kale, garlic, and thyme. Cook for 3 mins then remove to plate.

In a large bowl beat eggs, heavy cream, salt, pepper, mustard, and nutmeg.

Add Gruyère and cooled rice.

Spray or butter a deep baking dish. Add vegetables then egg mixture, mix in dish.

Top with corn flake crumbs, Parmesan, then drizzle with the 2 tbsp of oil.

Cook uncovered for 30 mins.

Taste Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️5/5 it has a very complex flavor. My family loved it

#chronic illness #chronically ill #chronic fatigue #gluten free #homemaking #potsie #spoonie #chronic pain #5 spoons #low spoons #personal #my recipes #recipe

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penvisions · 1 year ago

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the melting point {chapter 8}

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Baker! Reader (ex EMT! Reader)

Summary: Everything is overwhelming as the farmer’s market draws closer.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: smuuuuuut, description of injuries, blood, ptsd, triggers

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist

Take out boxes littered the coffee table, everyone settled around it on the couch and chairs surrounding it in a display of easy comfortability. Will had gone out to get dinner for everyone from the Chinese place a few blocks down the street and had brought back a few different six packs of local brews from the brewery that was at the end of the same block. Softer music wafted through the speakers at a reasonable volume that still allowed for conversation. You were sitting on the arm of the couch, aware that the timer on the oven was about to go off and signal that the brownies were done.

You had made a different batch for each of the ovens: traditional fudge brownies, blondie with chocolate chips, cream cheese, and a new recipe that had come to you in a weirdly vivid dream about an old roommate. It was a blondie base with a banana pudding layer crumbled with vanilla shortbread on top and a rosette of whipped cream. You were excited to try one and see how it played out. You used your chopsticks to retrieve another dumpling from the box of them on the table, dunking it in the ponzu sauce that you loved so much. You used your hand underneath it to prevent any of the sauce from dripping to the floor, aware of a set of eyes watching you.

Chewing as primly as you could with a whole dumpling in your mouth, you moved your chopsticks to reach into another box that was littered on the table. You deftly brought another dumpling to the table but this one was from a box that had little flame stickers on it. You placed it on your plate and reached for the hot sauce as you swallowed your bite.

“Might wanna try it first, mante. Those are kinda hot.”

“Kinda hot or melt my face off hot?”

“Maybe somewhere in between.” Will said as he watched you take a swig from your can of plum saison, you had asked for it specifically when he mentioned beer. He hadn’t been able to deny you even if it had been another block down the street. “Benny here is the reigning champ of spicy food, oddly enough.”

“A white boy the reigning champ with three perfectly good Hispanics present?” You huffed as you cast mock judging glares over Pope and Frankie who were on the couch cushions beside you. You popped the now hot sauce topped dumpling in your mouth with a cheeky grin. “How shameful.”

“I like actual flavor with my food, thank you very much. Sometimes heat is there just for the sake of heat and it’s not good for anything else. Food should be elevated by different flavors, not drowned by them.” Pope had a hand delicately placed on his broad chest as he looked up at you through his lashes with a coquettish air. Frankie coughed around the mouthful of food he was chewing, both at your teasing and at his friend’s weird face. He glanced up at you, taking in the way your legs were straddling the arm of the couch. Your thighs having flattened out against the fabric in a way that begged his hands to press into the softness them. Your jeans were high waisted, sitting allowing for your backside to be hugged by the fabric, creating a very nice view if he were to lean back into the couch or cast his eyes over just a smidge. Your little shimmy had jostled the cushion he was on and he pulled his own plate a little more over his lap as he felt his length jerk halfheartedly.

You hummed as the heat of the dumpling warmed your mouth, the hot sauce doing a good job of elevating the flavor of the spicy beef and pepper mix within the steamed dough, “Oooh, that’s yummy.”

You shimmied your shoulders as you reached for another one, only for a pair of chopsticks to stop your own. You looked up to see Benny giving you a challenging stare. You snapped your chopsticks at his, easily prying them from his hand and tossing them into the container. Scooping up another dumpling you brought it to your mouth with a playful smirk. “But sorry, I think I’ll have to prove I can hold my heat better than you.”

“Wing night, you’re on.”

“What’s the wager?”

“You be the standby medic for my fight night events.”

“And when I win….?”

For someone who got flustered so easily, you pulled off the confident air so well when you tried. With a cheeky smile and a playful wink, you moved as the timer on your phone flashed. The beeping of the oven timer sounded as well and had you up and disappearing behind the kitchen door in seconds.

It was around 11 when the guys began to peel off, Benny first due to some sessions first thing in the morning with a bear hug and two cupcakes in a box. Will followed soon after, a breakfast date with a new girl he was adorably giddy about with a kiss on the forehead and a tart he was hoping to surprise her with. Pope concentrating so hard his tongue peeked out from between his lips as he piped rosettes on top of the chocolate cupcakes with a rich chocolate buttercream. Frankie was beside him, the man’s thick fingers kneading and cutting a giant batch of dough into small, measured boules.

You were up front placing cooled cookies and already finished cupcakes into the case, adjusting the placement of things to make it look nice. You had a half empty can of beer in your hand as you did so, but you set it down as a sigh fell from your lips. Your tags were a little dirty, the one thing you hadn’t made time for. You gathered them all up, the little weighted holders clinking against the counter where you set them by the register.

“Manté! I finished the chocolate, all that’s left is the bread. But you said that had to proof overnight, no?” Pope came through the kitchen door, a smile on his face as he watched you for a moment. You looked so worried, though he knew you’d do great tomorrow. “I’m gonna head out, you’re going to do amazing tomorrow.”

He rounded the corner and swept you into a tight hug, squeezing him to you to place a kiss on your cheek. You returned the embrace, nerves ebbing at the contact.

“Thank you so much, Santi. You all were such a big help, I feel like I might’ve taken too big a bite with all this.”

“Nonsense, being busy is good. It means you’re doing something right. I’ll ask around the office and see if anyone’s kid need a summer job, alright? Until then, I don’t mind helping out some.” He let you go and gathered the bag of takeout boxes before heading out the door. You followed after him and waved as he got into his truck. You watched him drive off before locking the door and turning around to guide a speed rack in front of you and pull one behind you back into the kitchen. You rolled them into the walk in, the backups that didn’t fit in the case needing to be cooled until you needed them.

Frankie was finishing up wiping the counters down with a rag and a spray bottle of sanitizer. The bread he had been portioning out on it’s own speed rack, plastic cling wrap secured over each tray. He smiled at you as you walked up to him and got in his space. Your hands came to rest on his shoulders, his going to the flare of your hips. You leaned up and gently pressed your lips to his.

“Let’s go to bed.” You whispered, lips brushing his as you spoke. You felt his grip tighten before he pressed his lips fully back to yours in a passionate display. You snuck your hands underneath the hem of his shirt and brought them up to rest on his warm chest, the minimal hair there soft on your palms.

God, his fingers. Your entire body was alight with pleasure, the man above you taking his time in exploring the entirety of your skin. He was all soft touches and light pressure, reveling in the give of you beneath him. He brushed his nose over your cheek, trailing it down your neck before placing a nip to you collarbone, soothing it with his tongue to pull a breathy moan from your lips. You felt fingers skim over your stomach before they were slipping into your folds, the pads of them finding your clit with ease. Your breath hitched before a whimper squeezed its way from your throat. It was a gentle pressure, slow circles drawn into your skin that had pleasure cascading all across your skin.

“You make the best sounds, sweet girl.” You could feel the hot line of him as he rutted against your thigh, and your brain short circuited as you felt the tip of dig into your skin. Your hips bucked when he added more pressure from his fingers, a gasp sounding in the air. His fingers were replaced by the pad of his thumb as he adjusted his hand to fill you up with two thick fingers. “Gotta make sure you’re nice and slick before I bury my cock deep into you. Isn’t that right, querida?”

Your hands gripped him tight, holding onto his arms, nails digging lightly into his golden skin. He leaned down and took a pebbled nipple into his mouth and pulled. His tongue was hot as he laved attention on it, color blossoming around it in a pretty pink.

“F-fuck.” He crooked his fingers with a grin, taking the way your back arched and began to stroke that soft spot deep inside. You fluttered around him, pleasure building in a tight coil in your middle.

“That’s right, that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m gonna fuck you until you don’t even know your own name, sweet girl. Just gonna be so overwhelmed with this big cock filling you up, taking everything I give you, you’re gonna take it so well for me, aren’t you? You’re going to be such a good girl for me.”

Despite his heady words, his motions were sensual and slow. His fingers were caressing you softly, his thumb gently pressing that little bundle of nerves. He moved to your other breast, giving it the same attention as the other, slowly bringing color to your skin.

“Look at me, sweet girl. Come on, let me see those pretty eyes.” His voice was so deliciously commanding, the husky tone making a jolt of warmth spike in your chest. Your lashes fluttered as you tried to keep your eyes open, body overwhelmed by the way he was working you and the filthy promises he was speaking into your skin. You gazed through the dim light cascading in from the balcony, the sheer white curtains not doing much to keep the moonlight out.

His face was so beautiful bathed in half shadows. His strong nose and scruff sparking warmth in your chest. His tongue flicked across his bottom lip as you looked up at him with hooded eyes, the pleasure pulsing through you making your face soft and open. He groaned at the sight, your copper hair fanned around you in the near darkness, the ink on your skin looking tantalizing on the pale sheets around you. Your eyes were blown wide and he saw heat flare in them as he began to pump his fingers rather than just caress. He swooped down and captured your lips in a kiss.

“Come, sweet girl, give it to me. I know you can.” He felt you clench around him the second the words left his tongue, he rewarded you with a kiss to the temple. He worked you through the waves of pleasure rolling over your body, only removing his hand when a soft whine sounded in the air at your overstimulation. He felt his cock twitch against you, begging for attention in much the same way. He brought his slick covered fingers up to his mouth and licked them clean. You both groaned, him at the taste and you at the sight.

You whispered his name as you reached out to grasp him gently, your soft hand pumped him a few times before you shimmied and made yourself comfortable underneath him. He leaned down, knees between your open legs and kissed you deeply, making you taste yourself on his tongue. He lined himself up at your entrance, head catching your clit lightly as he slid between your folds once, twice, three times.

“Ready, sweet girl?”

“Frankie please,” He could feel your entrance flutter, clenching around nothing before he lined up again and slowly buried himself into you.

“Yes, sweet girl. Look at that, you’re taking me so well. So hot and tight, made just for me, aren’t you?”

He bottomed out, thighs flush with your hips, twitching inside you at the overwhelming feeling of you around him. Your arms were around his shoulders, face coming up to kiss him before you whispered praises against his lips as he began to move. He gripped your hips and thrusted into you in slow, deep drags that had you both moaning loudly.

You woke Frankie up with your mouth, trailing kisses down from his peaceful face to his chest, to his hips, biting into the flesh there before taking him in your mouth. He returned the favor before you both showered, getting ready for the day together in your space. With lingering kisses at the back door of the building, you pushed something into his hand. He looked down at the mechanism in confusion. Hooked on the clip for it to fasten to something was a single key ring with two keys on it.

“For you.” Was all you said as you smiled shyly at him.

“Querida, are you sure?” He shuffled on his feet, warmth flooding him at the thought of having such blatant permission to your space. Guilt flashed in him, overwhelming, something ugly and familiar that he tried to ignore. He hadn’t even invited you over to his space, hadn’t made enough effort to let you know how much you meant to him, hadn’t done enough to show you he was serious about this. All the instances he’s shared with you were in your own space or were in group settings with the guys. He looked down at his scuffed boots, a feeling of inadequacy rearing its head. “I haven’t even taken you out yet. Haven’t done much of anything for you.”

“We’re both busy adults, but this is something I wanted to do. I feel safe giving these things to you.” A kiss was placed on his cheek. “Frankie, I’ll take what you’re willing to give.”

“Summer camp in next week, I’ll clean up the house. We’ll spend the night at mine after I take you out to an amazing dinner. I swear it, sweet girl. I’ll give you everything, it’s just going to take time.” Your smile was enough to power him through the rest of the weekend as he began to make plans. “Good luck, today. You’re going to do amazing.”

You were so focused on the burning in your lungs, the feel of air being pulled in your nose and out through your chapped lips. Sweat bulleted and trickled down your temples, down the small of your back, the hot dampness of it as it collected on the fabric of your workout tank top, the band of the built in bra digging slightly into your skin. the slight resistance in the bend of your knees as you picked them up to step again and again…

Flashes of panicked faces and the sound of a gun going off far too many times had you clenching your eyes. The feeling of your hands covered in warm blood as you struggled to stop the bleeding on an open wound had your fingers trembling as you focused on keeping your body moving in the present. The feeling of hot metal imbedded in your skin and the spike of adrenaline that accompanied it made your next step falter. You caught yourself by throwing a hand out to reach for the safety hand at the front of the treadmill. You quickly recovered and pushed on, trying to run away from the memories.

The sound of the front door of the gym slamming buckled your knees and you went down. You tried to punch the stop button and then pull the emergency stop lever but you couldn’t focus through blurry eyes, your vision having grayed out at the sound. You felt the skin of your knee and thigh skid along the still moving tread as your body crumpled, swept down the length of the machine and then thumped to floor in a heap. Pain was radiating from your knee, sharp and staticky.

“Shit, are you okay?” Benny was quickly running over from the front desk. He ignored the still running machine to lean down beside you, his hands hovering as if he wanted to touch you but was cautious to do so. “The wind caught the door before I could, I didn’t mean for it to slam.”

You reached out for his hands and he took it as a sign to help you sit up, your injured leg stretched out while the other was folded underneath you. You were shaking slightly, but you weren’t sure if it was from the adrenaline or the pain. Your leg felt like it was on fire, the burn of the tread having done some serious damage. The entire side of your right knee and midthigh was scraped raw, the skin a translucent white before the blood began to pill and drip down your shin.

“Fuck, that stings.” You huffed, not willing to touch it until you’ve washed your hands.

“Should I take you to the urgent care? I know you’ve got experience but that looks pretty bad.”

“I think it’ll be okay, give me sec.” You gripped his forearms with your hands and started to stretch out the injured leg. The pop and subsequent rush of pain in your knee had you crying out and your nails dug into Benny’s arms. “Shit okay, my knee is messed up. Emergency room.”

“Fuck, okay.” You looked up in time to see Benny’s expression go from slightly panicked to focused. He pushed the long sleeves of his shirt up and instructed he was going to lift you. Your arms went around his shoulders as he rested a hand underneath the bottoms of your thighs and your back, bridal style to avoid anything touching your injured leg.

“Hey, Maria?” He called as he hoisted you up. His front desk attendant popped up and around the wall that separated the entrance to the actual workout part of the gym. “Can we please get a call into the cleaning crew for bodily fluid and cancel my remaining training sessions for the day?”

Just as she was nodding and reaching for the phone, the front door swung open and two figures walked in. Will and the father that frequented your bakery signed in at the front desk and as soon as they rounded that wall their easy laughter and conversation halted. He said something to his companion before he was at your side in a few long strides.

“Urgent care or emergency room? What number locker did you put your stuff in? Has anybody called Taylor and the guys?” He was as focused as Benny, the two of them moving in synch as they crossed the expanse of the room together, Will having rushed over at the sight of you in his brother’s arms and the blood running down your leg to drip on the floor.

“Emergency room, knee popped when I tried to stretch it to access the damage. It’s pretty much got no feeling and the skid is hurting a little too much for comfort, I’m worried about the muscle.”

“What happened?” Will placed a calming hand on your chest, his fingers brushing the pulse point in your neck to double check you were really okay. Once he realized your heartbeat was still even and your pulse was a tad fast but still healthy, he moved both his hands to cradle your face and looked into your eyes for any signs of a head injury. When your eyes followed his own without issue and your pupils didn’t dilate, he let out a small sigh of relief.

“Wind caught the door behind me and it slammed. My hands were full so I couldn’t catch it.” He didn’t need to say it aloud, but they both knew it had spooked you and broken your concentration while running.

“Okay, again, locker number?” You rattled it off and told him about how you had left the gate unopened for your building because you were expecting a delivery. “Okay, Benny get her loaded up and I’ll bring her bag to the truck. We’ll pull Pope from the office and have him handle the delivery. Fish can meet us at the hospital if you want?”

“No, no.” You shook your head in his hands, panic fleeting over your features as it flared in your chest. “I don’t want to bother him, he mentioned a restoration for this week. He needs to focus on his work.”

“He’d want to know you’re hurt, mantequilla.” Benny spoke as he moved toward the door, Maria holding it open for him to move through as she talked calmingly on the phone with the cleaning crew. Will had moved toward the back of the building, calling out to ensure no one was in the women’s locker room before he entered to retrieve your bag. “He deserved to know before you show up limping somewhere and he finds out that way.”

“I would tell him!” You gushed; worried Benny really thought you wouldn’t. “I just want to wait until we have a time frame if he wants to stop by, he’s got a late shift today and I know his mother already said she won’t be able to watch Lex more than a few hours.”

“I’ll call him while you’re being triaged, okay?” He agreed to wait at least, so that was good. You really didn’t want him to get too worried and peal out of work early. He had a full day and you didn’t want to add to it. You had both discussed being busy this week. Him prepping for his daughter to be away from home longer than a day or two for the first time in their lives. He was nervous but she was so excited for summer camp. He was such a good day, trying to spend as much time with her as possible before her trip.

“Let him care about you, it’s obvious to us that he does. He’s a good friend to have in your corner.” He pinned you with a look you couldn’t quite meet head on. He wasn’t blind, he could see the way Frankie straightened up whenever you arrived at the bar, the way his eyes had kept roving over to you when they had helped you prep for the farmers market just a few days ago. He could also tell your words were a little too fast when he was around, as if you were nervous and couldn’t contain yourself. Wanting to converse with him as much as possible in each interaction. You bit your lip as you contemplated coming clean and then did.

You felt yourself blush as Benny placed you gently in the passenger seat of his truck. Making sure your leg wasn’t cramped or too stretched out to avoid injuring you further. He secured the seatbelt over you and made sure your legs were comfortable before he moved to close the door carefully and round the vehicle. Will jogged over to open your door once again and situated your workout bag by your feet, careful not to jar you at all. He had his phone in one hand, pulled up to his ear as he talked.

“She’s okay, isn’t that right, mantequilla?” His tall figure leaned against the door frame, shifting his phone to hold it in front of him and hit the speaker button. Pope’s even voice was firing question after question but stopped when you said his name to get his attention.

“Santi, cariño, I’m okay. Please listen to me, esto es muy importante. The delivery driver is always the same for my stop, he knows the code but since it’s a larger order than normal and I’m not there to immediately break it down, he’s going to have to put the pallets in the walk in. There should be enough room for them both, with the heat the pallets have to go in the walk in.”

“Si, si, entiendo, mantequilla. Please be safe getting to the emergency room and have Benny text me every update. I’m leaving the office now. Do you want me to feed the little ones?”

“They’d like that, please.”

“Frankie needs to be called, but I think you should be the one to do it.”

“Benny is going to as soon as I’m in triage.”

“When he leaves work early, tell him to come help me break down the pallets after he leaves the hospital, comprende?”

“Will do, Pope.” Benny chirped as he turned the keys in the ignition, the engine rumbling to life.

“I’ll close up the gym if you don’t manage to get back in time, just focus on getting our girl sorted out, yeah?” He carefully closed the door, so as to not jostle you and waved you off. Glancing around to look through the cab window, you watched him cross the parking lot. Your regular patron and apparently Will’s friend was waiting by the front door as the man approached it.

Benny pulled the truck into the drive up of the hospital, turning on his flashers and jumped out of his seat. He came around and scooped you back into his arms to take you in, not bothering with retrieving a wheelchair since he knew you’d be assigned one for your visit anyway. He approached the front desk and contemplated speaking before you held up your ID and summarized your injuries in less than fifteen words to the two nurses who were seated there.

“Gotcha, okay. Go ahead and settle over there and we’ll get your triage started and a room ready to run some tests and clean you up.” Benny moved about the waiting room with a slightly nervous air, he didn’t want to leave you for the time it would take to park his truck. But he was also nervous calling Frankie, the man was a good friend but he wore his stress on his sleeve sometimes. The restoration he had this week had been a topic of frustrated enthusiasm on Friday.

“I’ll call Fish while I park, I’ll be back ten minutes tops, okay?”

“Thank you, Benny, I really appreciate you.” You reached up to cup his cheek and bring it down to your level. You placed a chaste kiss to the apple of his cheek before busying yourself with your phone.

With a chuckle, he pulled his own out and scrolled down his contact list. It rang three times before Frankie’s voice greeted him.

“Benny, not that I don’t care about ya, but now’s not a good time.”

“Frankie.” Benny paused as he checked his rearview and side mirrors before pulling away from the curb right in front of the hospital entrance. He hoped the use of his friends name and not nickname would let him know this was serious. “She’s okay, but mantequilla is being triaged right now. She took a tumble at the gym.”

previous chapter || next chapter

taglist:

@tanzthompson

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shirleyxian · 4 months ago

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One-shot//Selfshipp//COD

Special Cupcakes.

Shipp:Ghost x Max

Today was the day off for ghost and max, today can be a unique day and more so because in the army they didn't have time for them . The couple are watching a movie on TV you could tell that they are both very focused on the plot, you can't deny that the plot is interested. A scene appears where the protagonist surprises her boyfriend who cooked her some delicious cupcakes that were decorated with cream of different colors and some pieces of chocolate, For the Latino, it gave him some inspiration to be able to give something special to his boyfriend.

- Cariño, what is your favorite flavor of cake. Chocolate or vanilla? And you like it if it had cream. What color would you like? Decorated or not? - Ask giving him a hint. -

- Well, honestly I like both flavors, but my favorite is the chocolate one, with pink cream and decorated with strawberries. Why the question?

- Emm... I was just asking.

At the end of the movie, ghost changes the channel to the sports channel to watch football because today Manchester City was playing against Manchester United all because ghost supports Manchester City. That gave Max the opportunity to surprise him while the Briton is hypnotized by the TV screen.

The brown-haired one began to take out the objects kitchen, bowls, mixer, flour, eggs, milk, chocolate and without missing the sugar, Starting to crack eggs so that he can separate the yolks from the white into different bowls, starting to beat the yolks first for at least 10 minutes, he did the same process to the white.

Take the chocolate to heat in a double boiler so you can melt it.

To start mixing the chocolate and egg mixture, along with the flour and milk, put the bowl in the mixer starting to do the process of letting it beat for at least 15 minutes until it does not have any lumps in the preparation.

While beating he looked to see if ghost did not come to the kitchen at least to look for him, he only saw ghost focused on football, the cry of angry ghost is heard saying:

- SON OF A BITCH!!! HOW THE DAMN ONE DIDN'T SHORTCUT THE FUCKING BALL!!!

He looked frustrated.

After whisking, take the muffin containers by putting each one in the mold and add the preparation and put them in the oven.

While he cooks the cupcakes, Max takes the opportunity to prepare the cream, I take another egg but this time without separating the yolk from the white, she does the same process of beating. To add cream cheese, condensed milk, sugar and milk, starting to beat for 16 minutes.

When the cream is taking shape, add red food coloring, beat again for only about 5 minutes, so that the cream has the pink color.

Then he takes the cakes out of the oven, fortunately they did not burn, but he remembered something, they did not have strawberries in the house, she could not believe that she forgot that detail, He thought about what to replace, he opened the refrigerator to see something to replace the strawberries, there were no fruits to match the cupcakes, but he found "dulce de leche", he recalled that in Argentina the magdanelas were still stuffed with dulce de leche. Use a churros filler to try to fill the cupcakes, take the piping bag and start creaming it.

When he finishes he hears his boyfriend shout "GOAL" it means that his team won the match.

- I see that Manchester City won, but celebrate it with a delicious cupcake.

- Nice detail my rabbit, thank you.

Ghost takes a cupcake, when he bites he didn't know it was filled, but you could tell he liked it.

- Honey this is delicious, plus that detail of the filling. How did it come about? - Very curious and happy question. -

- Well, inspiration and love for you. - Says while laughing at how cheesy it is. -

- Anyway, you outdid yourself. - Leave the cupcake on the table and hug max - I love you.

- Accept the hug. - I love you too, my ghost.

Well, it's my first mini-One-shot, I base it by a character bot.(one that I could create)

It makes me laugh that he wrote it while listening to kali uchis music.

This is my selfshipp with ghost.

By the way, I think I combined American English with British English, I learned both accents although it is difficult for me to differentiate them.

~Bye~

#call of duty #self ship #simon ghost riley #gayboy #mini fanfic #oneshot

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ragecndybars · 1 year ago

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What do you think SEES favorite cake flavors would be ? Sorry I've been baking like crazy lately and im a little obsessed with cake

ooh okay okay hehehehe

minato: i think minato's the type who will pretty much eat anything, but secretly has a very very VERY selective group of foods that he actually Prefers. to him most cakes are meh, he'll eat them i guess. but i think he likes pistachio cake above all else.

kotone: this is a bit of a cop out answer but i can't not say strawberry. either a strawberry flavored batter or a shortcake/vanilla cake with strawberries on top. i think she would love either of them equally. maybe i am just brainwashed by the pink aesthetic but strawberry cake kotone all the way.

yukari: red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. but it's a sometimes food for her bc its super rich and decadent so she only lets herself have a slice

junpei: pound cake enjoyer. i think he prefers candy to cakes when it comes to sweets/desserts, but if you offer up a slice of pound cake he will hop right on that shit.

akihiko: we know he likes pancakes, but those aren't really cakes in a traditional sense, so i think i'll say a cinnamon or maple flavored coffee cake. pancake-like taste, not super thick or rich, and more crumbly than spongey, so i think he'd prefer them to other cakes.

mitsuru: i am only SLIGHTLY saying this because its just a bougie sounding cake, but... black forest cake. augh. i think she loves chocolate and she loves cherry and if you mix those things together you get her right in the weak spot fr.

fuuka: hmmm i think the obvious option is a "fruit cake" (as in, a vanilla cake with fruit toppings) like the one she makes in her social link, but she strikes me more as a lemon poppy seed cake fan. maybe carrot cake as well.

aigis: poor babygirl is a robot but if not i think she'd like angel food cake :)

ken: says he doesn't like cakes because sweets are for little kids, secretly a huge fan of them. i think he likes plain chocolate cake with vanilla or chocolate icing

shinjiro: says he doesn't like cakes because sweets are for little kids, but if you leave a piece of tiramisu unattended in his line of sight it will be gone the next time you look and he will be licking the plate

#Persona 3 #P3 #thanks for the ask jacks this was so fun to write out #ask

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personifiedmachinery · 2 months ago

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Making whipped cream; A Saga.

I had a lot of heavy whipping cream + orange flavored milk that i needed to use. So i decided to see if i could use the milk to flavor whipped cream.

The internet was acting like it couldn't be done. No matter how i worded my search, i came back with nothing. But i didn't want the ingredients to go bad! I have a stand mixer and nothing to lose, so i took matters into my own hands and decided to experiment. I knew it had to be possible. And i was right! It takes a few extra ingredients than your standard whipped cream but i made it work.

Of course, i first put my mixing bowl+whisk attachment in the freezer. Most recipes say to do this for 15 minutes. Well, immediately i forgot about it, ate dinner, and sat watching tv for maybe around 3 hours. This is fine. Honestly.. i say the longer the better. Makes the bowl stay cold longer (maybe, i don't actually know. But my brain says yes.)

I had exactly 3 cups of whipping cream. I added 1/2 cup of the orange flavored milk. My recipe asked for 2 cups of whipping cream and 1/2 cup of powdered sugar. That's about a 1/4 cup of sugar per 1 cup of cream, so i increased it by 1/4. I realized my milk may also count in this so i added another 2 tbs (half of 1/4 if you weren't sure). For a stabilized whipped cream you need about 2oz of cream cheese. I didnt want to increase this much as the flavor of cream cheese can be overpowering. So i put in maybe around 3oz. And then i got to mixing.

Normally when i make whipped cream it takes maybe 5-ish minutes to whip up. But 5 minutes came and went with little changes. It was at this point i realized my flavored milk was not actually whole milk as i had initially thought! Whole milk is needed because the fat content is essential to make it whip. To fix the fat content of milk, you need butter. But i couldn't find a ratio for the small amount i had. So here i measured the butter with my heart. I added maybe 2-3tbsp. I can't be sure. Then i kept mixing. Time passed. It's been another 10 minutes and sure, it's thickened, but it hasn't whipped. I was considering calling it a fail and just using the extra thickened cream in milkshakes or as a coffee creamer. But hey, the evening is young, and i have nowhere to be. I kept going.

My last ditch was adding a bit of cream of tartar. Just about a teaspoon. Yes, it adds a tang, but it's already orange flavored so who would notice, really? Not i. I threw it in. Another 5 minutes with only nominal thickening. "Damn," i think. "Maybe it really can't be done?"

But i'm not quitter. Or at the very least, i am extremely stubborn before quitting. "It has thickened!," i say to myself. So i continue mixing. Another 5 minutes, i'm watching it so closely now. And finally... it whips! A glorious moment and it whips up thick, and fluffy, and delicious!

Admittedly it's not quite as airy as when i usually make it, but it formed peaks and holds shape, and that's all i can ask for in a whipped cream. And of course, because i am an adult and can decide what i eat for myself, i put a nice helping in a bowl and ate it alone like a wonderful fluffed, pudding dessert. Could i put it on a cake? Sure, but i don't have a cake right now, nor was i willing to make one as the entire endeavor took around 30 minutes. While i do have mostly an abundance of time, i do lack stamina. So i'm calling it mousse now and feeding it to everyone because it's delicious.

Now maybe all of this would've been obvious to others, and they could have just avoided the whole kerfuffle and just put the cream of tartar from the beginning, but it was not obvious to me, and maybe for a lot of others. Especially because i could not find a single recipe with flavored milk added in.

For those who would like to do this, here is the recipe:

3 cups heavy whipping cream

1/2 cup flavored milk

2-3 tbs melted butter (skip if the flavored milk is whole milk)

3/4 cup + 2 tbs powdered sugar

2-3 oz cream cheese

1 tsp cream of tartar

1 tsp vanilla (optional honestly, i sometimes forget it)

Chill your mixing bowl and attachment for 15 minutes (or a few hours, whatever). Mix the cream cheese and powdered sugar until creamed. Then throw in everything else. I like to mix it around medium speed for a little after added the liquid just so it doesn't splash everywhere. When it's more creamy, turn the speed on high. Wait. You want soft peaks and it should hold shape when you scoop it with a spoon. Have patience, but keep an eye on it. Don't overmix. Enjoy on whatever you like whipped cream on or on its own. I'm not your mom.

#whipped cream #recipes #i'm counting this as writing #writeblr #the robot's stories

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levans44 · 2 years ago

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chapter 2 - choc chip cookies and milk

The next time Captain America walked into her cafe, he ordered another cappuccino (so he did like it!) and some bagels.

“How many would you like?”

“Uh…” His fingers twitched, as if he was counting how many he needed, before he asked her for “just a dozen.”

She nodded as she rang him up. “Must be quite the party.” She joked as she bagged the homemade goodies. No harm in making small talk right? He was basically a regular now.

“Yeah,” He nodded “It’s for my uh… coworkers.” He paused over the last word, failing to find a better replacement, and she could see why. Captain America. So his coworkers must mean the Avengers, maybe other SHIELD agents.

Before she could think too much about the fact that Tony Stark might be eating her bagels this morning, she carried the hefty bags to the register, handing him his coffee and the receipt.

“I mixed in a couple flavors and threw in some cream cheese for you too.”

“Thank you,” he smiled.

Turns out, Steve didn’t like sugar in his coffee, but he did have a soft spot for baked goods. Her baked goods, to be precise. He came in the next morning, practically bouncing on his feet, enthusing about how everyone had loved her bagels.

Upon a quick scan of the display shelf, he asked to try the lemon-thyme bar along with the usual cappuccino. The next day, she recommended the banana bread. The day after that, the blueberry muffin.

Today, it was a classic chocolate chip cookie. He walked in around 4 pm, just around the time her babies were ready to pop out of the oven. That was the other thing, too. He started coming in more now, at unpredictable times, sometimes early noon, other times in the late afternoon.

Not always in his usual workout clothes, either. Today, he walked up to the register in a brown biker jacket and some faded jeans. She liked that he was a bit old-school that way. There was a peculiar yet endearing formality in the way he carried himself, with a level of humility that she found hard to believe in someone so renowned as Captain America.

With the mouth-watering scent wafting through the air, she couldn’t help but insist that he take a seat and wait for the cookies to be ready.

One bite of the warm, chocolaty delicious and he couldn’t help but hide a surprised smile. She set a glass of milk down in front of him, and couldn’t help the fuzzy feeling from crowding her stomach as he glanced up, smile widening.

“How’d you know this was my favorite?”

Like she said, old-fashioned.

They sat in comfortable silence, tucked away at a booth in the far corner. She took small sips from her own mug, glancing over at him as his eyes lingered over her paintings, as usual.

As the next song started playing on her playlist, she noticed his ears perk up, eyes lighting up with recognition.

“Fan of Marvin Gaye?”

He nodded, nostalgic smile on his face “Yeah, uh, Trouble Man. Friend recommended it to me a while back.”

She nodded back in response, as they started to sway in time to the beat.

“I’ve never heard of this song before, though” Steve reached forward for a second cookie, and she smiled.

“If I should die tonight.”

He looked up, eyebrow raised.

“That’s what it’s called. If I should die tonight.” She closed both hands around her mug, reveling in its warmth.

A pause, before Steve remarked softly “It’s nice.”

She hummed in agreement. Lulled by the sweet soul of Marvin Gaye's voice, she couldn’t help but close her eyes.

“You know, Marvin Gaye didn’t write this song. His producer did. About a crush he had on this woman.” The story always put a small smile on her face.

“And Marvin refused to sing it ‘cause he’d never felt that way about anyone… until he met his wife.”

A few moments of silence, only the music flowing gently from the overhead speakers. She glanced up to check Steve’s reaction, and realize that his eyes were fixated on a spot on the table, deep in thought. Then, he spoke, voice quiet, almost as if he was talking to himself.

“Do you believe in that? That some people are destined to be together?”

She glanced up, a little surprised at the question, before letting out a light laugh, looking back down at her cup,

“Soulmates? Not really.” She pursed her lip, before continuing.

“… but, as clichéd as this sounds, I do think true love exists. You know, someone you just know you belong with.”

She looked up the same time he did, and as soon as those blue eyes met hers, she knew exactly what he was thinking. The same thought had appeared in her own mind. Neither of them spoke, but his eyes said everything she wanted to know.

As the song started to build up to the second verse, they were abruptly interrupted by the sound of the bell, and a customer stepped through the door.

He immediately got on his feet, almost hitting his head against the ceiling, before shoving his baseball cap lower over his brow. He started to reach for the wallet in his back pocket, voice low.

“Sorry I kept you for so long, what do I ow-”

“What? No, put that away!” She smiled, picking up the empty plate and the cup.

“I can’t as-“

“Seriously, it’s okay. These were on me.”

“But-“ He looked like he was about to argue, but he glanced back at the expectant customer waiting at the register, and closed his mouth.

“Well, the cookies were amazing. Thank you.” He smiled, his sincere gaze warming up her cheeks.

“Anytime.”

As he made his way out, she rushed behind the counter to take the customer's order. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him round the corner and disappear, in the same way he always does.

As she started crafting the coffee order, she listened attentively to the last of the Marvin Gaye song, fading out in the background, trying desperately to ignore the pounding heartbeat in her chest or that fuzzy feeling in her stomach, settling down for good.

If I should die tonight, love

I just want you to keep this one thought in mind

That I would never die blue

…’Cause I've known you

(cap)puccino, w/ milk and sugar masterlist

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obscure-imaginations · 7 months ago

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Chubformers oneshot with Megatron! Mixed with Mayternity for ultimate indulgence in kinks I want to practice writing. No specific Megatron used. Reflected on AO3.

18+ only. Contains: pregnancy, eating, rapid weight gain, vaginal masturbation. Happy ending.

Megatron’s pregnancy had been going well so far. He’d not had any sickness, his bodily pains were at a minimum, and he was… content. Of course, he was still fairly early in his pregnancy, but he decided to not focus on that.

However, there was one problem that Megatron kept to himself. His cravings were embarrassing to him. He hated to admit it (and he never would out loud), but he craved… human foods.

Megatron had resisted at first. He drank energon more often, even eating the jellies and iced energon to try and curb the want for solids. But it was all for naught, as he finally gave in and snuck a feast into his personal quarters.

His holoform and the Decepticon reserve of human currency came in handy- two things he never thought he’d need. He could thank the others later (or not, like usual), for now he was starving!

The first on his plate were a generous serving of fried potatoes, coated in grease and salt. He ate about half before remembering the sauces that were provided. He didn't bother reading the labels, he just tore a pack open and began dipping his fries.

Once that was finished, Megatron was actually content with the flavors human foods provided and was surprisingly excited for more. He pulled out a juicy burger- three layers of hamburger patties and all the fixings. His sharp denta bit down and for a split second he could swear he was in the Well of All Sparks, for how the flavors flooded his senses.

He finished it in record time. Two more burgers and servings of fries were topped off with a whole pizza and, of course, dessert.

A whole chocolate cake, slathered in cream cheese frosting, filled with bits of chocolate chips, and a few decorative strawberries. At this point, Megatron still felt like he was starving, so he grabbed handfuls of cake instead of opting for the plate and fork he brought. Frosting coated his servos but he didn't care. He ate and ate until he finished the cake, then spent the next half a megacycle carefully licking his servos clean. He didn't need evidence of this heinous act, after all.

Once all the trash had been burned to remove the evidence, Megatron plopped down on his berth. He rolled to his left side to lay down, as Knockout had instructed him to lay during his pregnancy- and noticed something odd. He had to lay more in the middle of the bed rather than the side, to accommodate his belly. Was his pregnancy tummy really that big?

A servo carefully rubbed over where the spark was growing, and Megatron grimaced. In his overindulgence, he had eaten his protomesh to full. It was quickly adapting to form rolls of fat that bulged under his chassis and spilled over the bed. Megatron grunted in annoyance but kept rubbing his tummy as it felt pleasurable to do so, much to his surprise. He undid his chassis and popped out the protomesh components growing there, as they were beginning to ache. They were much bigger than Megatron remembered, the last time he checked. It felt so very relieving to free his new breasts!

He groaned in relief as the food in his belly settled and his rubbing servo brought satisfaction to his senses. He massaged the rolls of fat and brought his left servo up to gently rub his aching breasts. He closed his optics with a pleased sigh.

Megatron noticed his thighs and arms were chubbier than he last remembered, as well. The left servo remained on his breasts and the right servo moved down to rub his thick thighs. A groan of arousal came out as the touches shot feelings of pure pleasure to his valve, and he instantly began to drip.

With sudden urgency, Megatron threw off his genital covering and rubbed the lips of his valve with desperation. Fluid leaked out onto his sheets. He stifled a whimper as he rubbed his clitoris, his sensitive nub overloading his senses. With the fastest jerk-off session Megatron had ever committed, he shuddered and moaned, long and loud. His valve pulsed in pleasure and shot tingles through his fattened abdomen and up his swollen breasts. He groaned once more before settling back down with a sigh.

Megatron placed his servos on his belly and gave a rare smile. Perhaps this whole pregnancy thing was extraordinarily better than Megatron ever thought.

#transformers #transformers nsft #chubformers #nsft chubformers #megatron #megatron nsft #transformers megatron #// nsft

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mariacallous · 2 months ago

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I was born on Yom Kippur, and my mom insisted on fasting the day she gave birth. This should tell you all you need to know about my mother’s commitment to obligations of family and faith. So it should come as no surprise that for as long as I remember, despite the fact that she was fasting herself, she’d manage to prepare an elaborate Persian dinner for my family to break our Yom Kippur fast.

Between long hours at the synagogue and naps to stay alert, my mom would make big, steamy pots of basmati rice with dill and fava beans, and roasted cornish game hens strewn with dried fruit, their skin perfectly crisp, their juices fragrant with saffron and slowly caramelizing onions.

But America has its way of getting under your skin. While we loved these delicious flavors, my sister and I came to realize that our mom’s toiling was just too much, and really, after 25 hours with no food or drink, our bodies actually craved something lighter and simpler.

So, these days, our Yom Kippur break fast is a classic Ashkenazi spread: bagels with cream cheese, lox, and cucumbers — all the new-to-us flavors we’ve come to embrace over our family’s four decades in the United States.

Despite our main course skewing Ashkenazi, one thing hasn’t changed. Just as my parents did with their own families in Iran as far back as they remember, the first three things we consume as soon as we get home from synagogue are pure Iranian Jewish tradition: a cup of hot black tea, a warm, comforting soft-boiled egg, and faloodeh seeb.

Somewhere between a beverage and a dessert, faloudeh seeb is a refreshing mix of shredded apples in a light rosewater syrup, served over ice. You can alternate eating spoonfuls of the apple mixture and sipping the cool, fragrant juice. It’s truly the perfect way to rejuvenate your parched and weary body.

A note on apples: As this recipe is so simple, it’s only as good as its ingredients. Fuji or Gala apples work great here, as do Jonagold, Honeycrisp, or any other crisp, sweet apple. Avoid Granny Smith apples, as they’re too sour, and Red Delicious, as they’re too mealy.

A note on rosewater: Different brands of rosewater vary wildly in their potency. Domestic brands tend to be far less fragrant than imports (typically from Lebanon — I like Cortas), so adjust the rosewater amount to taste. You’ll want the rosewater’s scent and taste to be evident, but not overpowering.

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heystephen · 9 months ago

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so im trying to eat healthier but im so so bad at it so i got rolled oats bc i was like if i can make the recipe itll be fun and people say it tastes like cake if you do it right. so im making a carrot cake overnight oats... thing but i didnt have shredded carrots plus im morally opposed to them so i used carrot juice instead. one fourth cup carrot juice, one fourth cup milk to half cup oats + brown sugar and cinnamon. only after putting it in the fridge did i see that each cup of juice is equivalent to 4 cups of carrots. so i just put basically one entire cup of carrots into my carrot cake overnight oats. i hate carrots. i only like carrot cake because of the mellow molasses flavor with the cream cheese. neither of which i have. im gonna add raisins but. send help if it doesnt taste good tomorrow im never eating healthy again its all or nothing are oats even worth it or is it a tiktok scam bc my uncle has been eating oats for a decade and hes still got a beer belly and is also in jail, both of which i am choosing to attribute to oats and not beer and fraud, respectively. also! everyone was wrong oats dont taste like cake i made chocolate oats and it fucking sucked although that was more because of the terrible chocolate mix packet i used than the oats, but the oat texture was BAD! so tomorrow i will either get my shit rocked or Get My Shit Rocked. anyway

this was such an Experience to read. im so fucking fascinated. i think you severely overdid it with the carrot juice but the plus side is that you will have good eye sight i think

#i got mail*#the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see

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leedollop · 21 days ago

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My Vox Headcanons + Made Up Lore List

Others showed interest in my Vox headcanons, so here they are. Yes, some of them are oddly specific, but making the character my own is one of the things I love to do in my fic writing. So I hope you enjoy these!

Living Life

Vox's father was a local hero who practiced "turn the other cheek" a little too much, while his mother was rather distant, though taught him a lot when it came to surviving through his smarts.

Vox was bullied terribly in high school due to homophobia and being a feminine man, which led him to being wary of jock types. Him being neurodivergent and having a strong drive, not understanding why others disliked discussing these things, also led to him being treated as a perv, which he later embraced.

Vox was a news anchor who spread false information and took bribes.

TW stalking and murder

A creepy fan ended up breaking into his changing room one night. Vox hit them with a lamp in self defense, causing them to hit their head and die. He felt extremely guilty at the time, and it was the first man he'd ever killed.

TW bad mental health

He was often worried he'd end up abandoned and die alone, understanding he was doing the wrong thing but being too afraid to stop.

Vox ended up dying when an old bully threatened to expose him. He shook a shelf so hard in anger that the TV on it fell onto his head and killed him. Hence his sinner form, and the way his screen sparks and his body twitches when he's angry.

This Man Is a Cat

One of his antennas (exclusively left when the right is a zig zag) flicks dramatically and rhythmically to the side whenever he wants to pounce on someone or something. This can be either because he really wants to give them affection, or he's extremely pissed at them.

He loves being scratched beneath his chin and around his antennas, which can get a bit itchy.

Whenever he's sitting on a surface, he will take up as much space as possible and dislikes sharing. The positions he lays in can also be strange.

He adores seafood. His favorite fish is tuna.

He would chase after a laser if someone used it on him.

Food Headcanons

He loves the taste of meat and, for this reason, always gets a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger whenever ordering somewhere. He believes the cheese just deludes the meaty flavor. His favorite meat his beef, sincerely and for humorous reasons.

His go to pizza order is a pepperoni or sausage pizza with extra cheese.

Vox is great at handling spice, though he doesn't tend to eat anything too spicy as he's not a big fan of the flavor. He enjoys sour foods, though nothing too extreme. His favorite type of food is savory.

He tends to dislike mixing sweet and savory foods, unless it pertains to dipping his fries in his strawberry milkshake, because he adores doing that. Fruit or fruit flavors combined with something savory is the only sweet and savory combination he will tolerate. He finds other combinations disgusting.

Vox's favorite fruit is strawberries, but he likes all fruits, except anything citrus, finding the flavor too strong. He loves lemonade though, so long as it is not too sweet or too sour (he's known as a flavor snob for this reason).

When it comes to pancakes, Vox usually just puts butter on them, along with a topping of one or two sliced up fruits. He'll occasionally put syrup on top as well, but not whipped cream, as he'd find that too sweet for his tastes.

Vox prefers cake over pie. He enjoys the way things like cake melt in his mouth and are fluffy in texture. He finds pies gross and "slimy".

Taste Headcanons

Vox publicly says his favorite music is pop or electric pop. However, his favorite music actually mostly consists of old romantic songs. That and "sad horny" songs. Although, he listens to a wide variety of genres.

He secretly loves romantic comedies and romantic novels, though he's too embarrassed to tell anyone else and keeps his collection hidden away.

He's actually been a huge fan of Dickmaster, Adam's band, for quite some time, but he'd never admit this at the risk of inflating Adam's ego or being teased by him.

Vox tends to prefer feminine clothing over masculine clothing. He'd also wear makeup if he didn't worry about being made fun of for it (I lowkey headcanon he is a transwoman, and the egg is yet to crack). He adores playing dress up for fun, and has done so with Velvette, especially around the holidays.

Neurodivergent Things

Vox can sometimes struggle with volume control, being very loud when he's excited. He can also sometimes blurt out extremely blunt or very crass things. This can sometimes make others uncomfortable, so he's very self conscious about it.

He struggles at times to read someone's tone, or understand certain social rules.

Though he is seen as perverted, he just does not understand other adults' reluctance to speak about something that is completely natural. He doesn't understand why some natural things are seen as normal to talk about and others not.

His excited stim involves him shaking his hands to his sides or stamping his feet.

He likes his spaces remaining organized and can be a major germaphobe.

Vox hates too many flavors and textures being mixed together, and is wary of unfamiliar flavors and textures as well. He also tends to dislike overly strong flavor and messy foods he is expected to touch with his hands. Because of this, his go to order at any restaurant is chicken tenders. It's the safe and easiest option.

#turnthetvon📺

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exhausted-archivist · 1 year ago

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Comparing and Contrasting Recipes From the Cookbook to Previous Mentions: The Differences, Similarities, and My Thoughts

A full list of recipes that have been previously mentioned in the series, coupled with my thoughts on the cookbooks working recipe in comparison.

I find interest in the fact that the working recipes have little to no grounding in lore as they are often in contradiction to the lore blurbs that accompany them or are in direct contradiction of in game recipes in instances that don't seem apparent as to why they made the ingredient change. Fluffy Mackerel Pudding being the exception to this.

But I broke this into 4 sections:

Previous Dishes Recipes and Their Differences

Drink Recipes

Lore Differences, General Notes

Short Summary of Opinion

Going to put all of this under the cut as it is super long.

Previous Recipes and Their Differences

Antivan Gnocchi This one was a curious one, as the dish was only recently introduced into Thedas in Tevinter Nights. I enjoyed the lore blurb for this recipe as it really anchored in some food and cultural facts you only hear in the anthology. However, the lore blurb describes the gnocchi as dressed with leeks and cheese sauce but then the working recipe... distinctly lacks any leeks and instead goes for a rather basic pine nut pesto sauce. Which puzzles me why they didn't just simply describe that rather than what is in the lore blurb.

Eggs à la Val Foret Originally mentioned in a note in Trespasser. It is described in the cookbook to have tons of cream and in the original note to have a cream sauce. However, the working recipe does not follow that criteria, using hollandaise sauce and giving this recipe a form of eggs Benedict, leaving the first case for why the recipes in the cookbook are likely not adhering to canon.

Black Lichen Bread This one I almost didn't include as the specification of black lichen has never been mentioned before in canon. However, we do know that in Origins we have mentions in Orzammar of lichen bread and in the lore blurb it specifies "this is lichen bread not bark bread" so I'm running with that. My thoughts on this particular recipe is the fact that instead of using a grain that would give a brown colour and mixing something like black seasame of gel food colouring to achieve the dark colour and instead used activated charcoal. Which shouldn't be anyone's first choice due to the known risks of consuming activated charcoal. Which is a whole post in and of itself that I went into here.

Dwarven Plum Jam The plum jam was first mentioned in Origins and has been remarked on multiple times since. There isn't really anything to contradict here in terms of the lore blurb, the working recipe throws me, because this recipe is not meant for long term storage outside of the refrigerator. Which is arguably not made clear enough as the final step says "The plum jam will keep for up to 6 months sealed in a cool place. Refrigerate after opening." Which contradicts the last line of the previous step "Store the jars in the refrigerator." As minor as they seem, these are pretty big distinctions. A cool place does not necessarily mean you keep it in the fridge, and this has to be kept in the fridge. The recipe doesn't call for any sugar so there is nothing actually preserving this for long term storage outside of it. So, it really isn't stressed at all and the wordage is conflicting. I would have adapted this for a smaller batch because 4-5 - 14oz jars in your fridge of the same thing take up a lot of space if you aren't giving them away. Additionally, I'd use allspice instead of cinnamon and vanilla extract. If you bloom the allspice before putting it in the plum reduction you get a much larger depth of flavor and you get the notes of vanilla and other things with it.

Fish Chowder First mentioned by Zevran in Origins while speaking of Antiva, the lore blurb carries the same theme. Speaking of how it is a dish that will bring you to Antiva city. There isn't much to speak of in terms of pre-established ingredients, however I find that the working recipe is a bit rich for a dish to be served to folks between a tannery and the coast. Which is a theme I have noticed in general with recipes of the poor or lower class. Instead of using them as simple, low-effort, and sort of beginner recipes they seem to evolve into one of the more complex. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I would have preferred they took advantage of more humble recipes from lore as such things and add additional notes of possible things they could include to "elevate" the recipe as it is called.

Fish in Salt Crust This is Avvar in origin and first mentioned in the DLC Jaws of Hakkon. The lore blurb and in-game description say that this is made by wrapping the fish in pungent leaves and cooked on banked coals. However where the in-game description specifies that the fish and leaves are wrapped in clay, the cookbook's lore blurb replaces that with salt. To be honest when I heard it was wrapped in pungent leaves and clay/salt, I was thinking something akin to banana leaves or something of the sort. The working recipe however uses thyme and rosemary, herbs. Which is an understandable and accessible swap, however the conversion of clay to a salt crust confuses me as there are casserole dishes, terracotta dishes, and other cookware means to replicate the "clay" wrapping while cooking in an oven. Especially considering the recipe calls for 4.5-6.5 lbs (2.04-2.95 kg) of salt I think a cookware swap would have been more economical. That said I do love a good salt crusted fish.

Fish Pocket Though referred to as fish wraps by The Iron Bull in DAI, these are the same dish. The lore blurb says that they learned this recipe from the Bull's Chargers. Which would imply the working recipe is roughly the same. However in the game Bull describes it as fish wrapped in thin bread. The working recipe has these more akin to a hand pie or pasty, wrapping the store-bought salmon filet in pizza dough with minimal seasoning of salt, parsley, pepper, shallot, and egg.

Fluffy Mackerel Pudding This recipe first debuted in Origins thanks to Mary Kirby and Sheryl Chee. It is in reference to the original weight watcher recipe and also the secondary example as to why the recipes likely aren't canon outside of the lore blurbs. The recipe in-game and the cookbook lore blurb calls for celery, eggs, mackerel and onion. The in game recipe also calls for Antivan pepper (Thedas replacement for cayenne), green pepper, mustard, salt, mace, cardamom seed and specifies the mackerel is to be poached. The working recipe calls for potatoes, smoked mackerel, butter, eggs, black pepper, and ground nutmeg. An entirely different dish for obvious reasons, as this dish was a play on a weight watchers recipe.

Found Cake First introduced in Origins and described very little aside from how it had likely seen better days as well as having mabari spittle on it. Something the lore blurb of the cookbook references. A new aspect of this cake coming from the cookbook is that it is a chocolate cream variety topped with white frosting and strawberries. Much like the item icon in Origins, though it should be noted the item icon is also shared with the sugar cake. As far as the working recipe, it's simple and sounds delicious.

Goat Custard This one is technically introduced in Inquisition, however it is not a desert custard but a savory one. It's actually not a custard at all but a broiled goat head. So, a very big switch up! I do enjoy this recipe as a whole though, from the wonderful short lore blurb to the rather simple recipe.

The Hanged Man's Mystery Meat Stew Previously only mentioned on a loading screen of DA2, this stew in the lore blurb is kept the same. A mysterious meat stew made every day, but not knowing what exact type of meat you might be eating. Personally, I find the working recipe in the cookbook too elaborate for a tavern that is known for its ill-reputable clientele and is described as smelling of sour ale, vomit, and desperation. The working recipe calls for olive oil, onion, garlic, pancetta, ground pork, tomato paste, dry red wine, kidney beans, diced tomatoes, canned corn, red bell pepper, chili pepper, bay leaves, allspice berries, clove, salt, pepper, paprika, caraway, oregano, sugar, lemon, and parsley for garnish.

Heath Cakes Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 295. It also notes that it is traditionally made with halla butter but can be substituted with goat or cow butter, same as in World of Thedas. Hearth cakes are noted to be "common Dalish fare".

Lamb and Pea Stew This was a stew first mentioned in Origins and has been jokingly referred to since, even in the cookbook. Alistair's version of this dish is a uniform grey colour that leaves Leliana unable to discern that there was even lamb in the stew. Though the cookbook calls this King Alistair's Lamb and Pea Stew, it is clear in the lore blurb that Alistair's opinions on Fereldan cooking is incorrect save for throwing it in a large pot. Overall the working recipe is fairly basic; potatoes, oil, onions, ground lamb, tomato paste, beef stock, canned peas and carrots, pepper, paprika, butter, cream, nutmeg, cheese, and thyme. However instead of a stew, this working recipe instructs you in what would better be described as a casserole. Which isn't the first time that the cookbook deviates so strongly from the dish name or even lore description.

Llomerryn red Mentioned in the recipe for Merrill's Blood Soup and is another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 286.

Nug Pancakes A dish first mentioned in Origins along with the famed nug-gets. A recipe, unfortunately only referenced in the cookbook. Over all the gist of these is the same and the working recipe itself takes on a more developed and savory path than one would expect for something deemed to be a child's favorite. And by that I simply mean it is a high effort meal that I couldn't really see being served regularly outside of Orzammar's upper castes of nobles, royals, and warriors. As in Orzammar such spices as sugar, coriander, cumin, spicy hungarian paprika, chili powder, and the like would all be expensive surface imports.

Peasant Bread Originally shown in the novel Masked Empire as Michel de Chalon watches the Dalish make it for their midday meal and reminds him of his mother making it. Like the novel, the lore in the cookbook keeps the basic ingredients the same, a simple recipe of wheat, salt, and grease. The difference between the novel and cookbook lore is their chosen topping, Michel's mother would top his slice with sugar and the cookbook suggests butter and jam. The working recipe however, calls for an alternative of active dry yeast, flour, sugar, milk, egg yolks, and butter.

Pickled Eggs Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 285. It is also noted to be a popular Fereldan tavern food and cure all. The difference in tone between the two recipes is 'The Whole Nug' is written by an Orlesian and views the recipe with distaste, and the cookbook's narrator is Fereldan and speaks with a fondness. The recipe itself differs in that the World of Thedas calls for sugar, salt, vinegar, water, and boiled and peeled eggs while the cookbook - which notes it is providing a base recipe that you can customize - lists onion, bay leaf, allspice berries, cloves, mustard seed, peppercorns, dried chili pepper, caraway, water, sugar, salt, white wine vinegar, and eggs. It also suggest alternative herbs and spices such as rosemary, tarragon, dill, thyme, and curry or to include aromatics like beets, bell peppers, squash, and garlic. Overall, this is one of my favorite working recipes for how its formatted and how it encourages more openly with trying different seasonings. Though, I think the World of Thedas recipe is better as a "base" to build from. So if you do want to experiment, I think reducing to those basic 5 ingredients and building from there is the best way to go about it.

Roasted Cave Beetles Previously mentioned in the Dragon Age Tabletop RPG (TTRPG) in the Buried Pasts adventure, the dwarves eat the beetles in the shell after roasting them.

Roasted Wyvern This is an Orlesian and Avvar favored meal item, mentioned in Da2 and in World of Thedas Vol. 2. There really wasn't much description on the method of roasting, seasoning or anything. So there really was a lot of room to play with this. One thing I found curious was that they use turkey legs in the working recipe for wyvern meat. It is an interesting choice and one likely made due to the size of a turkey leg, as you can't necessarily make turkey steaks like the wyvern steak mentioned in the Rusted Horn.

Sera's Yummy Corn Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 295. It was written in her hand and displayed as if it was slipped in. Like in the lore burb of the cookbook, it is specified that the corn used has to be yellow and "not that weirdly checkered stuff". That it needed to be "cake-hot, not forge-hot" and it required no pot or wrap, simply "steal-heat-peel". However, in contrast to both of those, the working recipe of the cookbook makes what would be a humble and delicious snack a little more. Introducing herb butter composed of parsley, chives, clove, red onion, butter, ground mustard, and has you boil the corn (it suggests pre-cooked?) in milk and sugar, before you grill or broil it and top it with chili pepper rings.

Smoked Ham from the Anderfels There really isn't much to say about this famous gag in Dragon Age. First mentioned in the dlc Mark of the Assassin, we get the first idea of what exactly is on this ham in the cookbook lore book. It comes with different glazes, Devon's favorite being a glaze composed of apples and apricots.

Starkhaven Fish and Egg Pie Originally mentioned in Dragon Age 2 and later in Dragon Age Inquisition, this dish is spoken to be both Sebastain Vael and Samson's favorite dish. It is a recipe that appeared in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 283. The working recipe in the cookbook vs The Whole Nug differs a fair bit. To start, the amount of ingredients between the two, the cookbook having 23 and The Whole Nug having 15. I couldn't really compare the two in which I would prefer, but I do have a leaning towards The Whole Nug due to it being more adaptable as well as being intentionally anchored in-world.

Stuffed Vine Leaves These were first depicted in the comic Deception, where they are in a tavern in Tevinter and in the background you see someone eating what looks like dolmas or stuffed grape leaves.

Sugar Cake Another Origins item, this cake is described as being a simple pound cake dressed in strawberries and sugar-cream icing. However, the lore blurb and the working recipe directly contradict this. The lore blurb describes it as a humble mixture of butter, sugar, and almonds. Then, directly references a line from the origins item description about how it is "the perfect pick-me-up after a long day of travel." They seemed to have given the cream icing and the strawberries to the aforementioned found cake and turned this into a simple pound cake with almond topping. Which works well enough, however I think if they swapped the names on the two recipes they would make more sense. The working recipe calls for such little sugar, I didn't quite get as much sweetness as one would expect from such a cake.

Turnip and Mutton Pie Previously mentioned in Inquisition on the Rusted Horn's menu in Crestwood, this is another recipe with more play for the cookbook as the game only offers the detail that such a dish is worth 3 coppers. The lore blurb in the cookbook makes it sound like a humble and filling dish as well as describing it as a double crusted pot pie versus just a top crust. Which is what the working recipe gives you. Which isn't surprising and is of little consequence one way or the other, especially considering that the working recipe is for an 11-inch (27.94cm) pie.

Drink Recipes

All of my opinions on the alcoholic drinks is that they should have had a mocktail version, and if not all a good chunk of them would have worked well as mocktails.

Another opinion of mine that you will see pretty regularly is that most of these drinks have listed ingredients in lore and are usually remarked on in the lore blurbs. But the working recipes are so far removed it is rather jarring. Which circles back to my previous opinion of the fact they could have made these mocktails.

Antivan Sip-Sip Introduced in Inquisition, there is no official ingredient list for this one. Simply this description: "Careful, this one's mean. Attic-raised mean. Popular among highborn who wish to seem dangerous, but more at home grasped by the neck by those who actually are." A description that is vaguely referenced in the lore blurb. As far as the working recipe goes, it's simple coconut rum, Jägermeister, and pineapple juice. Honestly, it could be a mocktail but I don't think it's really a missed opportunity here that it wasn't unlike some of the others.

Chasind Sack Mead Described in Origins as "A brutishly strong honey liquor, reminiscent of warm summer days, apple blossoms on the wind with an unexpected aftertaste of father going off to war, never to return. Bitter, to say the least." The lore blurb makes another poetic description in the same vein where it is more akin to the changing of the seasons; "First, there's a near-overwhelming rush of honey, tinged with the sour-sweetness of apple blossoms, that fills the mouth with all the bright warmth of a summer's day. But as the initial sweetness fades, there comes an unexpected bitterness, reminiscent of the slow decay into fall, then winter." They're both distinct and evoke a certain flavour profile to the mind. Now I likely won't be making this at any time, so I cannot speak to how well the working recipe captures that flavour. But the ingredients it lists vaguely evoke the potential of it in theory of what I know for these ingredients. It calls for apple juice (unfiltered), pure culture brewer's yeast, water, honey, St. John's wort, meadowsweet, verbena, and kieselsol.

Dragon Piss This one is interesting because while it has this description in Origins: "The name is probably figurative, but no one knows for sure." It actually has its first draft of a recipe from a twitch stream where the recipe is "1oz light rum, 1 oz dark rum, fill with iced tea". The cookbook recipe is a far departure from that, as it calls for raspberry brandy, sparkling wine, and blue curaçao liqueur; as well as lighting it on fire. The main spectacle of this drink is that it is lit on fire. I think the twitch recipe is a good foundation of a mocktail as well as sticks more visually to the name. Could have been a mocktail.

The Emerald Valley This cocktail from Inquisition is a recipe from The Gilded Horn like many on this list. But for this drink, it calls for: a spirit distilled by Chantery sisters in Lydes from over seventy herbs and flowers, topped with egg-white foam and dusted with nutmeg. A rather specific spirit to say the least. So much so the lore blurb for this drink is only two sentences long and focuses on that. Meanwhile the working recipe calls for ice cubes, bourbon, herb liqueur, simple syrup, heavy whipping cream, egg yolk, and freshly grated nutmeg. The only overlap between the two is the nutmeg dusting. I do wonder why they went with bourbon and made what is in essence eggnog with less spices. The shift from egg-white foam topper to what seems like would have been a good herb infused liqueur or an herbal simple syrup and making it akin to a mule or mojito. If they really wanted to keep with the strong herbal taste a St. Germain would have been a good base to build off of. Could have been a mocktail.

The Golden Nug From Inquisition, this recipe from The Gilded Horn calls for effervescent (fizzy) white Seleney wine, dash of West Hill Brandy, and a splash of pomegranate juice, muddled with raspberries and a sprig of royal elfroot. The lore blurb also specifies all this but the royal elfroot and describes the drink of having a pinkish hue. The working recipe however calls for ice cubes, grapefruit juice, gin, tonic water, and rosemary for garnish. A departure from the fizzy white wine and brandy combo with pomegranate and raspberries. If they were going to keep it alcoholic, I think a better swap would have to keep everything but swap the white wine for tonic water and making this a brandy and tonic based cocktail with pomegranate and raspberries vs a grapefruit gin and tonic and still achieve a soft pink look. Could have been a mocktail.

The Hissing Drake In-game recipe from The Gilded Horn which includes: cinnamon-infused whiskey, dark Llomerryn rum, Hirol's Lava Burst. Two of those three recipes are pretty easy to find here, and the Hirol's Lava Burst which "tastes of burning" would have been replaced with a high-proof alcohol and/or mixing in hot sauce or garnishes with spice - as it does in the working recipe. However the working recipe amounts to a bloody mary, having: Lemon juice, salt, vodka, tomato juice, tabasco, worcestershire sauce, pepper, sea salt, celery rib, pickle, spiced jerky. Coupling the working recipe with the lore blurb, it feels a little weird to have a drinking contest with bloody marys. But, people can and do have weird choices for drinking contests. Could have been a mocktail.

Hot Chocolate Bull's personal mission in Inquisition, making cocoa with Orlesian guimauves. Overall the working recipe is fine, it is a simple cup of cocoa and they even direct you on how to whip your own whipped cream.

Lichen Ale First mentioned in Origins, this ale is known to be toxic to everyone who drinks it but non-dwarves especially. Something the lore blurb stresses heavily while noting that they made changes to remove the risk and fear of poisoning. Overall, a pretty straight-forward and fun piece. Just looking at the recipe and the things with substitutes I deem it: Could have been a mocktail. Especially because it could have been fun to have recipes for making your own Kahlùa.

Rivaini Tea Blend First introduced in The Masked Empire novel as a favored tea of Empress Celene, its listed ingredients were cinnamon, ginger, and clove. However the lore blurb for this recipe creates a whole new mixture of peppermint, lemon verbena, oregano, and licorice root, then cites the blend as the one that Celene drinks to alleviate her headaches. I'm not too sure why the change in that, but it is noteworthy. The working recipe itself calls for: peppermint, lemon verbena, oregano (flowers and leaves), mixed edible flowers (elderflower, mallow, and marigold), licorice root, vanilla bean, black tea, and honey. Overall it is a good and tasty mix, but one I would not be taking for headaches. If we followed Celene's reasoning for it - an aid for headaches, a better bet would actually be the original recipe as ginger and clove can help with headaches and migraines. Peppermint can as well, but the addition of the various floral notes as well as black tea and vanilla bean wouldn't. Not that the cookbook is necessarily providing the recipe for that purpose.

Lore and General Notes

In the recipe for nug pancakes, it notes that the taste of nug meat is akin to that of pork and rabbit, which is different from the pork and hare approximation from Origins.

The Jade Ham we see as a weapon in Inquisition is a smoked ham from the Anderfels with a specific glaze.

We've heard very little of Anderfels agriculture and animal husbandry prior to the cookbook. Save that they have apples that are small and bitter and largely import dried fruits. The cookbook introduces the fact that pig farming does profoundly well in the Anderfels, resulting in bigger pigs and by extension hams.

The cookbook introduces for the first time the existence of international connoisseurs as well as sharing just how widespread the use of goat milk is, seemingly more prevalent than cattle.

Chasind Sack Mead recipe mentions Chasind Wildwine, an ale that was originally only mentioned in the TTRPG and is made from a specific type of grain native to Ferelden called ryott.

Short Summary of Opinion

Overall my general opinion on the cookbook is that the lore elements are fun and I enjoy the references and nods to the series. The photos are very campy and fun, and doesn't take itself too seriously and also builds on nods towards the series through merch references. I feel like the cookbook is a solid 5/10 and I'm not really disappointed in it. It was more than what I expected and had the thing I was most excited and hopeful for: food and culture lore.

But I'm sure if you've read this far, my main issue with this cookbook, and something that is wholly a personal preference from my own work in this area as well as an opinion built from my other game/franchise cookbooks like World of Warcraft, Dnd, Critical Role, and Elder Scrolls being some of my favorites.

But I find the disconnect in the recipe description, recipe name, and lore blurbs from the actual working recipes a sizable detractor. I personally am not a fan of it simply telling you to get store bought ingredients - like the hollandaise sauce which is a simple recipe - instead of providing that recipe and suggesting the store bought as an alternative. A preference that comes from my own dietary restrictions meaning half of the "just buy store bought" requires me to look up a separate recipe elsewhere. Leading the book to feel a touch incomplete.

I also stated before in the drink section just how much it doesn't sit well that there aren't any mocktails and your only non-alcoholic options are tea and hot cocoa. I think they could have really explored that more and developed some really fun and inclusive drinks for those who don't/can't drink alcohol.

I also noticed, that this publisher who does a majority of game franchises or just media franchise cookbooks, is that they didn't have one of my favorite things about the Elder Scrolls cookbook, which was the Dietary Considerations chart. It was in the back of the cookbook and the chart had every recipe that fell in one or multiples of the following categories:

Vegetarian

Vegan

Gluten-free

Easily made vegetarian, vegan, or gluten-free with simple alterations

The fact that the Dragon Age cookbook didn't have this was disappointing to say the least and makes this rather inaccessible for people with such needs. I also have just a general distaste for the fact that all but 2 of the 9 drink recipes were alcoholic. That there was no attempt to offer mocktails, which not only feels like a missed opportunity but also just a limiting one on accessibility when it's pretty clear that working recipes are not mirrors to their in universe counterparts.

A big thing for me in modern cookbooks is accessibility, from difficulty, to ability to add alterations, and actually putting efforts into non-alcoholic drinks that aren't just hot chocolate or a tea blend (though I do like that they did a tea blend.)

This book is definitely more for a fan who wants to look into a fun recipe every now and then but mostly was there for the lore blurbs and just the sort of fan service of it.

#dragon age #tastes of thedas #dragon age tastes of thedas #da: tot #world of thedas #da: wot #masked empire #dragon age origins #dao #dragon age 2 #da2 #long post #meta #I know I picked this to the road and back. But I have feelings about making food inclusive as possible.#Also it is 2023 not considering dietary restrictions or making mocktails is... Well I got feelings about that #As for the changes in recipe ingredients from lore. Some I do get because legal reasons and recipe copyright is a murky mess.#But considering they took recipes donated by the devs. And all the work they did within the cookbook #they likely wouldn't have had any trouble using recipes with ingredient lists from the game. Not only is this transformative enough #but if they developed them just from the ingredient lists they would have been their own recipes. you can't copyright ingredients folks.#I genuinely have questions about why they made the changes they did and why the cookbook has so many store-bought or canned specifications.

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