#there's also just a deal with the devil involved it just makes sense

[garciapimienta]

It’s a real shame Madrid won, not even because I hate Madrid with every fiber of my being, but because they weren’t even the better team out there. Throughout the competition Madrid hasn’t been nearly as dominant I think as people have been portraying them to be, yet they win because they manage to score goals in the dying minutes of the game no matter how shit they played before that and people eat it up. I’m not a BVB fan, but I sympathize because the better team didn’t win and they should’ve. Makes it all the worse that the two Madrid players who scored are literally the two scummiest players on the team, a fascist team wins because of fascist players. What a joke of a club Madrid is.

that's the thing with real madrid every time though, isn't it???? they never play "better" than the other team, and yet

[somedaytakethetime]

Don't you even dare to ask me what this is because I don't know myself. I'm a harlot, I'm plagued, I'm the devil, I don't know. That's the answer. I find information online and I.JUST.CAN'T.LET.IT.GO. SCREAM INTO THE VOID WITH ME OKAY?? P.S. DON'T READ THIS

Notes: the most cursed, demonic, absolutely horribly filthy thing I'll ever sear anyone's eyes with? Possibly? This isn't as daring as I can get, ask my best friend if you don't believe me, but this is the most daring I'll ever be on here Warnings: do I need to? Read every other clue, babes, just.. pure filth... you know where the exit door is if you're a child. Also there's body insecurity in this. From a male perspective. Which gets written about very little, in my opinion, but it's prevalent and well... we're here to change the insecure kings opinions of themselves 😤 Word count: 4 154 words

It's a gradual thing. Something you don't realise at first. It happens slowly and covertly, so you don't really understand that it's happening. But at some point you start to piece it together. He watches himself in the mirror a lot, after showers and when he's getting dressed early in the morning. He avoids looking at himself late at night, especially after heavy and harsh days at work. He avoids looking at his body, unless he's scrutinising himself. Like... after.. Every. Single. Shower. You don't understand that's what he's doing at first, because he's so serious and focused as he looks at himself in the mirror from all angles. You assume he must be checking for bruises, cuts, scrapes, etc. That he must be assessing the damage that a harshly physical job brings. You'd want to take in all the damage too because it's painful to sit on a bruise you didn't know was there until you squashed it.. it's happened to him a lot more than he'll ever admit. But.. you catch him squeezing his stomach once. He did it so fast you barely understood that's what he did. Until it hit you that he just did something you're always doing too, when you look in the mirror, and feel insecure about yourself. He becomes closed off after that. Doesn't touch you as much, doesn't let you touch him much either. His clothes have always been looser, he likes being comfortable, but somehow they become even looser. He avoids anything that flatters him, dresses in baggy, completely dark clothes. Like he's trying to become a walking void. He starts stressing about aging too. Looks in the mirror and prodes at his face, looking for wrinkles and white hairs. None that exist at all. But he seems to think they do.. and then he starts making comments..

Seems obsessed with your age too, the difference between you both. Who's younger, who's older, how many years, months, days, there are between you. What he was up to in x year vs where you were. What he was doing, what he already knew how to do, what little amount of experience and life you might have lived in year y when he was already on an inevitable path to becoming who he is today. Becomes obsessed with time, stresses about the future. Stresses about the past, feels sadly nostalgic, reminisces and wishes he could have been there earlier, wishes to change who he is to match up with you better. Wishes things were different and there was more time. Acts as if the end of the world is looming near and there's only 5 more minutes on earth left to spend together. Looks sad and forlorn. And the most frustrating and infuriating thing is that he doesn't let you in. Shuts you down when you remind him that reality isn't what he's imagining in his head lately. Dismisses you when you challenge his view and explain that things are fine and there's so many more years in a lifetime to be lived, there's time for everything and more. Pushes you away when you try to touch him at times even.. makes you feel cold inside. Confused and scared that things might be falling apart and you can't fix it because he won't let you in. It starts to enrage you. Because he keeps pushing his own perceived notions of everything onto you, assumes the "reality" he's seeing as something that you are seeing when you couldn't see it further from that if you tried. It all comes to blows late one night after a disastrous dinner.

You put on your nicest dress. You wanted to look nice for him, wanted him to see you again because he wasn't looked at you in a while now. You miss him so badly. Miss his touch, miss his kisses, miss.. well.. you miss feeling his body on yours in ways that the bible possibly wouldn't approve of.. it's been what? a month? possibly a month now. He complains he's stressed, that there's too much on his plate, that he's too distracted by work but he forgets that.. usually.. it was most prevalent when he was stressed.. because, in his own words, 'you relaxe me like nothing else, baby'. Cheesy and he's the first to admit it, but there's something deep and almost fragilely emotional behind the jokes. Like every time he teases and says cheesy lines he means them deeply, he's just afraid to show exactly how deeply that is. Even in the longing looks he gives you, which have become more frequent lately, it's as if he's deeply afraid to lose you but only biding his time until you'll inevitably walk away. As if he doesn't believe he's good enough for you.. and he makes it evident all through dinner. Comments on how the waiter keeps checking you out, something which would normally bring out his jealous side and he'd feel the need to assert his dominance to every man in a 10km radius. Not tonight. He comments on how young the waiter is, how he seems to be in great shape, and dares to look at you and say "Maybe you should ditch the old man and go for a young one.. it might suit you better." winks and tries to act like it's playful but.. you've had enough. You push away from the table "That's it. I want to go home. I've lost my appetite." and you just walk out to go wait by his car. He's fuming by the time he gets to you but says nothing. Drives in absolute silence too and you're so hurt and angry you can't find it in yourself to say a word. When you arrive, you rush into the house, leaving him behind to park in the garage, but he's somehow not far behind you by the time you're tossing your shoes aside. "Did you think that was funny? Did you enjoy ruining our dinner?" he has the utter gall to say... and you lose your temper finally.

"Excuse me?? I did what now?" and he marches towards you, presses his body to yours, you almost feel angry when you think this is the closest he's gotten to you in 3 weeks, he looms over you and reminds you exactly of how big his body is, says irritated "You stormed out over a stupid joke and you ruined the nice dinner we'd been having. By now you should know that I joke around a lot, I don't get why you acted this way tonight. You can be such a child sometimes." you're not in your right mind but you're so angry that you push him. Harshly. He stumbles back a little, wasn't expecting that from you, looks at you hurt and offended. But you just scoff and march towards him now "No, I did not. You ruined our fucking dinner by being a Debbie Downer. Same way you've been every single fucking day lately. Mentioned some other man whom I wouldn't even look once at proper, let alone twice, daring to suggest that I should make a switch. How are you this fucking dense?" you're toe to toe, looking into each other's eyes, angry at each other. There's a crackling of electricity in the air around you, you're both on the verge of losing your tempers entirely. "Maybe you need a younger man, he'd probably have more patience to put up with your childish behaviour. I'm old and tired." you've never wanted to slap him before, but he's making it really hard on you not to.. "No, you're fucking not! Have you heard yourself lately?! I'm old this, I'm finished that, I'm such and such. What the hell has gotten into you?? All the jokes about me being too young, all the comments about other guys and their bodies, all the shit about how I should probably leave before I have to start caring for the elderly.. what the fuck?? What is your problem?! If you're sick and tired of me just break up, don't bully me into leaving and try to make it seem like it's my fucking choice!" he suddenly gets serious. He feels there's a threat to his relationship, that the real option that you might leave is right there in front of him, that this is the end.. and he doesn't know how to deal with that. He's hurt just thinking about it. So he shuts down as he always does. "If you want to leave you can go right ahead. You know where the doors are and no one has ever locked you in this house against your will. But don't blame it on me, I haven't told you to do shit." and he just walks away.

You stare at the wall in front of you, the empty space he's left behind, for likely 5 or more minutes. It's eerily quiet in the bedroom, even though he's in there, and you're trying to let your anger settle down. He's hurt, he feels threatened, he feels pushed. He only ever reacts with cold detachment when he feels deeply hurt. You're trying so hard not to be hurt but you can't help the tears running down your cheeks. You love this man so much it hurts, physically, like there's aches in your chest when you think about how deeply you love him, how desperately you desire him, how much you want to spend all your minutes with him forever. It hurts deeply that he doesn't seem to accept that, or believe it, lately. Something has changed and he won't let you in on it. It feels cold to be left out, you thought you shared everything as one. It's painful to think you don't. But you don't want this to be the end. You're not ready to let go, you'll never be. You take a deep breath and turn around, walk to the bedroom and find him curled in on himself. Frozen in place and eerily still. 'Deeply hurt.. makes two of us, mate' you think. Clearly, he's not ready to let go either. You lay down behind him, wrap your arms around him as best as you can and you feel his whole body tense up. "I love you. I don't understand why you don't believe me, but I love you so much. I don't know what else to do to show this to you in a way you'll accept it too." He takes several minutes but eventually turns around. His face is red, he's trying not to cry in front of you but his eyes are filled with tears. He pulls you to him, kisses you softly but so deeply, whispers in that rough and affected voice of his that's so unfairly and wrongly sexy for the moment, "I love you so much that I want to die thinking about you leaving me." "Then why are you pushing me away?" he won't meet your eyes, his voice is soft and whispered, dripping with insecurity now, "Because I don't deserve you."

"No. No no no. No." you shake your head, hold his face and keep kissing him, want to pour all the love you feel into him so he'll believe it too. His hands wrap around your body, pull you so tight to him that you can feel every line of muscle in his body, every tendon moving, every ridge and curve of him, "Don't ever say that again, just don't. Don't say that." he shakes his head "It's true. You're just.. you deserve better. I'm washed up, tired, old and just.." he whispers so so quietly you barely hear it. Fat. It takes you so many seconds to realise he said it. He just called himself fat. The scoff you let out fills the air. You're furious now. Who said it? Who insulted him? Who broke his confidence this way?? Who was it?? You'll have their heads on a platter. How dare anyone insult your man? How dare anyone make him feel like his body isn't the picture of perfection? In another century he would have had artists tripping over themselves to sculpt him out of marble, he would have been Adonis.. David.. the ideal male physique. He would have been considered a god. "How dare you? Who said it??" he just looks at you "Who the fuck said you were fat? I'll kick their ass! Who was the fucker that made you feel insecure??", he leans up and moves from you, sits up on the bed, and looks at the floor, "No one had to say anything. I have eyes, you know? I get dressed around men every single day, I've seen more men naked in the last ten years than most people have in a lifetime.. I can see the differences between us." you scramble up to sit next to him, angry and shocked that he's thinking these things about himself, "How the fu-.. no! Absolutely not! What the hell?? No! You are not less than any other guy. In fact! You're hotter than all of them combined! There is not a single guy out there that can compete with you and win. You're just..." you gesture wildly, can't even pin down exactly what he stands for and how insanely attractive he is, "You're everything! You're all of it! You're smart, you're cultured, you have unbelievably quick reflexes, you have a body that would make Gods jealous, you're so fucking fine.., you also have the stamina of a fighting bull and.." you trail off, get distracted by all the flashes of heated memories flooding your mind, all the times he's had you whining, writhing, moaning, biting and clawing at him.. all the times he's had you in tears from how good he is.. all the times he's left you wobbly legged and sore, faint even hours after he was done, dreaming about it and wanting more.. your voice is clearly affected when you speak again "You're so good, baby, no one can match you. Ever. You're the whole package. You're so sweet and caring too, and loving, and supportive. You make me feel so safe, so loved, so confident.." you feel deeply hurt that he makes you feel beautiful and desirable every time yet he's riddled with insecurity and you can't fix it as easily, you don't have to be subjected to seeing women you know on the covers of 'Hottest Guy Alive' magazines and making it to the tops of 'hottest players' lists.. he has to see that. Polls, online discussions, debates, comments, everything from everywhere. Subjected to scrutiny. Criticism. Comments about their bodies and doubts about their fitness levels depending on their shape. It makes you sick. Makes your blood boil. It happens to women, of course, but men rarely get another man defending them. Especially in this field. You want him to see it, want him to know it. So.. you take the best approach you know how: go for his ego. Turn him on. You get closer to him, say softly, "This is strictly off the record and just between us but...", whisper right in his ear, "You're so fucking hot that I'm always soaked around you..." he straightens up, gives you such a heated look.. you keep whispering, looking him in the eyes, "Especially lately... you haven't touched me in so long.. just the other night... I-.." "You what?" you can feel him radiating heat, radiating need..

"You were sleeping naked.. which you rarely do lately and it's really fucking offensive mind you.. but.. the sheet had moved down because you keep tossing and turning lately.. and you were just there.. totally naked... hard.. and I.. fuck, I wanted it so badly.. I've missed you so much.. that I just touched myself imagining all the times that we've woken each other up to have sex.." he scoots closer to you, his eyes are on fire.. "Did you now?" you nod and bite your lip softly, whisper so so quietly "I was completely drenched.. I've.. really missed you... you have no idea how attractive you are.. and the effect that has on me.." he kisses you so roughly. Pulls you to him tightly, his tongue making it's way to stroke against yours, he pulls back and bites your lip, grins when you whine, kisses you deeper, spit and tongues mixing together as you fall back into a pile on the bed. His hands leave a fire in their wake as he pulls your dress off of you in a hurry, you undress him just as hurriedly, albeit rougher than he was, desperate to get him exactly where you need him. It's a need at this point. The same way you need to breath to survive. You need him to survive too. You go insane without his touch. You've been so irritated and on edge lately... he's been so cranky too... because you're both balls of pent up sexual frustration. "You're not fat, not even a bit. The only thing that's fat about you is your co-" he laughs into the kiss he gives you, a light-hearted laugh, and a giddy feeling spreads through your body. He hasn't been this happy in a long while. You love his laugh, you love everything about him. You cling to him as his body sinks into yours, so deep that sparks burst behind your eyelids. It's been enough time since this happened that it's a stretch.. he's.. not the smallest man around, in fact.. "Fucking hell, you're too much, you know that?" he just laughs, low and rough, mixed with a moan right there in your ear, "You've never complained before.. quite the contrary, baby.." he's right. You love the feeling of him. How big he is, how heavy his body is on top of yours, how warm and sturdy he feels too.. he makes you feel caged, but in the most comforting way possible. He's breathing in your ear as he thrusts slowly, it's been a while for him too, he needs to go slow for the sake of both of you. Needs to let both of your bodies adjust again, sink into this feeling, enjoy how good it feels when you're this close. He's missed you like this, under him and so willing.. he's missed your body as badly as he's missed closeness to you. He's such an idiot for going this long without touching and kissing you..

He sinks even deeper as he drops more of his weight on you, you whine loudly and bite on his shoulder, nails digging into his strong arms. A struggling, disbelieving laugh is exhaled from him, he shivers and moans roughly. He doesn't even want to move, just wants to stay right here, exactly like this, forever. He pauses to enjoy the feeling, the warmth, the slickness, the clenching. How soft your skin is. How pliable and tender you are under him. He feels every bit of him touching every bit of you. Suddenly he becomes hyper aware of that. His naked body is touching yours. His stomach... he's taken the biggest dislike to his stomach now... he doesn't have the tight, washboard abs he sees on most guys. He's meatier, always been. It makes him insecure lately. And he's now hyper aware that that fleshiness is touching your body. He recoils at the thought, his body tenses up and you feel it immediately. He starts to pull away but you lock your legs around his hips, pull him back, say desperately, nearly in tears, "No, no no no. Don't. Please don't, I need it so badly. I've missed you. I want you so much, god, I want you so badly. Don't. No, just don't." he pauses, tries to clench his abs so he can make his softness less evident, so it doesn't touch you that closely, and you know he's doing it. You used to do just that at the start. Tried to make your body look and feel more toned. So that he'd love you and he wouldn't find you unattractive. He made you realise that he thinks you're the hottest thing on two legs no matter how you look. So.. "I love your tummy, stop doing that shit." it startles him, he looks down at you and you're starring right into his eyes. You lock gazes and your voice is dripping with need when you speak "You don't realise how fucking amazing it feels.. you don't get that your body is just.. amazing for sex. I want you to press down on me because it.. I can't explain it but it feels so good. Like you're touching me deeper even without touching me. It feels amazing, it's just.. sex with you feels godly. Relax. I want to feel your body, all of you. Because it feels really fucking good from my end and you're robbing me of a really good orgasm if you hold back.. and that is what I might have to leave you over.." he looks unsure for a long moment. You play with his hair, your other hand runs your nails up and down the middle of his back and you feel him shiver, he moans softly.. his lids slide shut.. and you feel it. He starts to relax, little by little, let's all the restraint go and presses down on you.

You can feel every millimetre of him pressed to you. Locking you down against the mattress, overheating your skin. Making you dizzy, skin on fire as he speeds up, sinks so deep that your eyes can't focus and you have to shut them. There's a pounding in your head, your heart is beating so fast that you can feel the veins pulsating in your temples. Every muscle, every tendon, and every bulging vein in his body is palpable to you. You feel the tensing and the relaxing, the tendons stretching and pulling back, you can feel his blood rushing in his veins, his heart beats in sync with yours pressed tightly to your breast. You're only one body in this moment. You feel the tummy pressing into you, putting pressure on your core, something that feels so good and he tried to pull away from you.. nearly robbed you of one thing that drives you wild. You love the look of him, you love the feel of him even more. It makes you desperate, pant for air, makes you shiver and moan, soft and whiny, into his neck. Makes you rise higher and higher as you tighten more and more around him. He's speaking but you can't focus on what he's saying, so lost in your own need that all his whispered words turn into just the hum of his sexy voice in your ear. You can feel it building up at the base of your spine, can almost touch it right at your fingertips. He moves faster, whispering something that sounds so sexy yet you can't make out exactly what it is, and you just crumble under him. Claw his back, bite his shoulder, muffle your garbled whines and moans and fall apart so hard that you feel you're melting all over. You feel him, right there, right along with you too. It feels heavenly, you've missed him so much. You're giggling and crying afterwards, muffled sounds into his shoulder, tears staining his skin as you shake and cling to him. He pulls back, concerned that you're hurt, you look at him and give him a watery smile. "I love you so much." emotion chokes you and he looks affected too "I love you so deeply, I love you.". Tears are running down your face as giggles burst from you. You pull him down into a kiss, melt into him, sigh so relaxed and just hold him tightly. He rolls sideways and takes you with him, holds you close and plays with your hair, kisses your temple as you trace circles on his chest and rub your face all over him like a cat. "Are you okay?" he asks almost a little concerned and you nod, smile up at him, "I missed you.." you're rewarded with a sweet kiss, a soft smile and a caress to your cheek, "I missed you too. I'm really sorry for being a dickhead. I was a fucking idiot, I'm sorry." you nuzzle him and say "I think I can forgive you..." he raises an eyebrow and gives you that look he always does "If..." you sigh.. smile so sweetly.. devil personified.. "If you keep doing that all night.. you know.. to make up for all the times you haven't lately.." he burst into a light laugh and says, a little cocky, "I think I can manage that.." before he's kissing you breathless. It's going to be a long night, but that's exactly what you had been planning for..

[l-in-the-light]

Law didn't know about the kids in Punk Hazard

This will be an unpopular opinion, because fandom loves to think Law is so shocked here because of Strawhats crazy antics. But I believe that the actual reason why Law looks so horrified is because of the kids. He didn't know Caesar was experimenting on kids and right under Law's nose. He spent months there and yet he didn't know.

How is that possible? Because Law had to agree to two conditions so Caesar would allow him to stay on that island: 1. give up his heart in exchange for Monett's 2. not be nosey about Caesar's research. And if Law would break that deal, his heart would get crushed at any moment. So why would he break the deal before he would figure out how to get his heart back? He stayed there for months and I doubt he needed to stay there for that long, he was just stuck there because of that stupid condition. And yet soon after he found out (thanks to Strawhats), he reacts like this and betrays Caesar:

I still have no idea who Caesar reminded Law of. At first I thought "Doffy, right?" but Doflamingo despite being manipulative never had to actually drug people not to leave his side, that's exactly why he is so scary in the first place. My current bet is Vegapunk, for two reasons:

1. Everything Caesar does or did is implied to be a copy of Vegapunk's inventions, just worse quality: artificial zoan fruit dragon = smile fruits, that's why Caesar knows how to "respawn" devil fruits as well, don't think it's his own achievement. Also we're being fed to a lie for the whole duration of Punk Hazard: Caesar isn't the only person capable of producing SAD, Law reveals it on Sunny on their way to Dressrosa: "he only found an use for Vegapunk's lineage factors" - which means any other scientist could have done the same as long as they knew the method. At first Vegapunk was also part of the illegal science group of Punk Hazard, which means both him and Caesar did experiments on humans (prisoners, Kaido, Alber, but not kids, but it's still experimenting on humans). All things considered it doesn't have to be a stretch that Law might mean Vegapunk here, after all he did read a lot about world government's experiments that were previously done on Punk Hazard (he did share a bit about gigantification for example and that was also an experiment Vegapunk was involved in!).

2. It could have been Judge, but I don't think Law ever met him. His surprise at seeing Stealth Black for real was enough of a proof to me, he never met any Germa before.

Remember Flevance and all the kids dying? Or Law's novel when one of the first feats Law does after forming Heart Pirates together with Bepo, Shachi and Penguin is to rescue people from pirates? I even think it mentions "rescue kids" specifically.

Staying on Punk Hazard and having a deal with Caesar who experimented on kids and Law having no idea about it must have been a big blow to him. He probably thought he's partially responsible for that. And despite the fact we don't see much of his emotions in that arc, we do see two little hints of it:

Overreacting much? He didn't really need to cut them up, seems like he released his anger there.

This one's easy to miss. He eats while looking at the kids, gulps his soup in one go and throws away the bowl. For someone so calm and composed that seems like such an uneccessary display and has like nothing to do with his talk with Smoker. But if we compare it to a certain someone having a flashback to his trauma, it all suddenly makes sense:

I see the parallel here, even though it's subtle.

In summary: Law wasn't a cold bitch, he was actually genuinely traumatized after Punk Hazard. That line between "good" and "evil" the marines painted feels even more symbolic, all things considered. Law believes himself to be a villain there and hates it.

Bonus: Yes, I remember that Law told Strawhats to forget about the kids when they told him they want to save them. He probably thought they can't pull it off or maybe he still felt bound by his deal with Caesar. Instead of being a counterargument I feel like it just makes the whole thing worse: he thought there's no way to save them which in turn for sure made him feel even worse about himself. He ended up being what he hated the most: the government's decision of not even trying to help Flevance and dooming it, just like Law himself doomed the kids.

Strawhats literally saved his heart a little bit there, in Punk Hazard. Didn't help him feel better about himself, but made him believe slightly more in miracles.

[miss-musings]

Crosshair's 10 Most Impressive Shots in "Star Wars: The Bad Batch"

We're now officially three weeks removed from the series finale, so I thought it'd be a fun time to look back at our favorite sniper and review some of his most impressive shots.

Note, I'll be ranking items from "The Bad Batch" TV show only, so there won't be any entries from "The Clone Wars" S7.

I did get a lot of input from folks here and on Twitter, and a lot of people ended up saying the same ones. I put them on here along with a few of my own.

As for how I determined the order, I judged based on a combination of: the distance of the shot, the size of the target, the speed of the target (if applicable), other external factors like light conditions and weather, and "internal" factors like Crosshair's physical and mental state.

You're free to disagree with which ones I picked and how I ordered them. It's all subjective.

Also, I don't proclaim to be an expert in marksmanship nor am I a military sniper. But, I do have a general baseline for how difficult Crosshair's shots would be IRL. I used to go shooting with my dad a lot at both indoor and outdoor ranges, and I was pretty decent at both pistol- and rifle-shooting. So, that's what I'm using to judge Crosshair's shots.

With that out of the way, let's dive in with #10:

10. Killing Lt. Nolan in 2.12 "The Outpost"

I probably wouldn't have put this one on the list for myself, but I had multiple people suggest it should make the cut.

While this shot is very important narratively, it's not very impressive from a purely technical perspective.

I mean, hitting a relatively stationary human-sized target from a few meters away... It's definitely not the most impressive shot on Crosshair's resume.

However, I did feel it was worth adding to the list for the simple fact that Crosshair is physically exhausted and mentally broken in this scene. He basically uses the last of his strength to kill Lt. Nolan, because he immediately collapses right afterward.

Also, Crosshair might be right-handed, but he's pretty good at shooting his pistol leftie. We don't really see the shot hit Nolan, but if you zoom in after his body hits the ground, you can see that Crosshair shot him straight through the heart. He wasn't leaving that bastard alive after everything he and Mayday went through.

9. Lunch tray ricochet in 1.01 "Aftermath"

Even though this isn't a shot in the traditional sense -- considering there aren't any firearms involved -- I had to put this on the list for two reasons.

One, I had multiple people suggest it; and two, because I've watched this scene dozens of times and only recently found out that Crosshair actually hits two clones with his lunch tray.

He initially throws it at the clone Tech was fighting, presumably knocking him down. But then it ricochets so hard that it basically clotheslines another clone who's just standing there, minding his own business. Dude was hit so hard, he was like floating in midair for a split second.

Also, this plays into my headcanon that Crosshair would be excellent at any sports that require excellent aim and coordination. If he was on a basketball team, he'd be a three-point specialist for sure!!

8. Plan 55 ricochet in 3.12 "Juggernaut"

This is the closest thing we get to a trickshot in S3, so I had to include it on the list.

Here, we see Crosshair's quick-thinking and perfect aim take out several troopers at once by purposely ricocheting his shot off the magnetically sealed doors.

As we know from “A New Hope,” magnetically sealed doors/surfaces are no joke. You really have to know what you're doing or someone's gonna get hurt. Thankfully, Crosshair is a freakin' pro at this!

It honestly reminds me of all those crazy pool shots where you have to plan out four or five bounces/angles ahead to get the angle you really want.

7. Downing a spaceship on Ryloth in 1.11 "Devil's Deal"

NOTE: This is the only clip I couldn't readily find on YT. So I included the clip of Crosshair killing Orn Free Taa from the same episode to maintain symmetry in this Top 10 list.

Don't let the clip fool you. The shot I'm actually talking about takes place before this, when Crosshair -- from like 300 meters away, mind you -- takes down a fast-moving ship by shooting one of the engines.

Look, I love S3 Crosshair with all my heart, but his shooting abilities were severely diminished after his time on Tantiss. When I was doing my S1 rewatch and got to this scene in 1.11, I was like "Oh yeah, I forgot Crosshair used to be able pull off crazy shit like this."

It's actually sad how many of his made shots in 1.11 are like an inverse of his missed shots in 3.11. Here, Crosshair easily shoots a tracker onto Hera & company's ship, and later shoots the engine with no problem, despite the speed and distance.

In 3.11, though, he misses CX-2's ship and fails to track Omega back to Tantiss. 😭

6. Shooting Wrecker's knife in 1.01 "Aftermath"

Now we're getting into the really impressive shit! Most of these remaining entries have Crosshair shooting small targets and/or fast-moving ones.

In this instance, it's both. Wrecker throws the knife like this is skeet-shooting or something, and Crosshair just very casually shoots it into a droid.

Have you ever seen someone who was so good at their job/hobby that they make it look effortless? Like they're not even trying? This happens to me sometimes when I watch the Olympics. I'm like, "That's not so hard. I could probably do that." And then I try it for like half a second, and I'm like, "Oh no, those people are insane."

That's how good S1-2 Crosshair is. He makes shooting a fast-moving knife look effortless.

5. His four-kill trickshot in 1.15 "Return to Kamino"

These next three are all no-brainer entries. I think the biggest question will be why I went with the order I did.

Here, we have Crosshair displaying two very important elements of marksmanship/sniping: patience and careful aim.

Crosshair evidently set up at least four mirrors (I counted the ricochets in the shot) well in advance in the exact spots he needed to take down his Imperial squad, if need be. That's some serious foresight and preparation -- to know exactly where everyone would be standing, and have all the mirrors ready to go ahead of time.

He must've set them up even before he brought Hunter into the training room, or Hunter would've seen them and probably signaled his teammates.

He's also hitting a target that seems to be somewhere between the size of a golf ball and baseball from like 10-20 meters. And with his sidearm.

I know everyone loves the hallway mirror ricochet to kill the squadron of battle droids in TCW Season 7, but it didn't qualify. But, honestly, I think this one is more impressive anyway. He hit the first 1.15 mirror from farther away than he does in TCW S7, and he's using his pistol in 1.15 rather than his rifle and scope.

Talk about accuracy!

4. Sniping the tank in 2.03 "The Solitary Clone"

Oh man! I think we all love this one, right? It's just one of my favorite sequences in the entire show -- the framing, the colors, the effects of the dirt flying up behind him.

I love how Crosshair baits the droids to get the exact angle he needs, and the dude clearly has nerves of steel for staring down the barrel of a tank without flinching. I wonder how many times he's done it, considering he seemed to know exactly how to beat them. I'm guessing at least a dozen.

This is another example of "expert making their expertise look effortless," when in reality, we'd all shit ourselves if we attempted to do the same.

Honestly, sometimes I wish we could've had this version of Crosshair face off against Hemlock in 3.15 -- the dude who stared down the barrel of a tank and didn't flinch at the most literal version of "kill or be killed."

3. Stairwell trickshot in 2.03 "The Solitary Clone"

While I love the tank sequence more for the aesthetics, I have to rank the 2.03 stairwell trickshot above it.

That's partly because Crosshair's still physically and mentally recovering from nearly getting choked to death. But, it's also partly because -- just like with Wrecker's knife -- Crosshair is shooting a target that someone else is throwing.

That means he has to adjust to whatever trajectory and speed they throw it at and compensate accordingly, which can understandably be very hard to do in a split-second.

And, in this situation, Crosshair can't even see the puck directly. He's looking at it through at least one or two layers of reflective mirrors. Dude's reaction time is insane!

He also manages to take down at least four or five droids with a single shot, including the tactical droid, which is several meters up the stairwell and into the next room.

I'm not sure if the clones learned any advanced mathematics during their training on Kamino. But if they did, I think Crosshair would've loved geometry and maybe trigonometry too! He would also absolutely kill in a game of pool. I wanna see him go to the SW equivalent of a pool hall, and show Omega that he can hustle people too! He just needed to find a game that would better suit his strengths. LOL

Anyway, as insane as this shot is, Crosshair has two others on his resume that are even more impressive:

2. Saving Omega & AZI in 1.16 "Kamino Lost"

This is one of three entries on this list that *no one* mentioned when I asked for suggestions, but I had to include it. That's because it is -- without a doubt -- the most bafflingly impressive shot Crosshair makes in the entire show.

I have watched this scene dozens of times, and I still have no idea how he knows where Omega and AZI are.

Initially, I thought -- as others did -- that he's using an infrared scope to see their body heat in the water. But, that doesn't appear to be the case.

The only times I can recall Crosshair activating an infrared capability is when he has his rangefinder, which is attached to his helmet. As we see in episodes like 1.01 "Aftermath" and in 3.07 "Extraction," he specifically has to put the rangefinder down in front of his eye to use the infrared option.

No, his scope is just that -- a regular scope. The infrared capability is only attached to his helmet's rangefinder, which he doesn't have in this scene.

Thus, I have no idea how Crosshair is using a regular-ass scope to find Omega and AZI in the dark ocean. The point of a scope is to see better, and I don't know what he might see beside more darkness. AZI's eyes aren't active and, even if Crosshair spots Omega's flashlight, Omega dropped it when she went after AZI, so it's not exactly on her.

I'm willing to believe that Crosshair has better eyesight than the average human in the Star Wars universe or IRL, but his eyesight must be insane if he can see them in the water, even with a scope.

But, whether it's eyesight, some other enhanced sense or just plain luck, Crosshair knows where in the vast, dark ocean they are — not just the angle but the depth too!

It's really hard to tell how far down they are, but I'd say at least 20 meters. And if he is able to see them somehow, he might have to adjust the shot for refraction in the water too.

Plus, unlike the other entries on this list, Crosshair isn't shooting a blaster bolt. He's shooting a cable, meaning he'd have to adjust his shot to accommodate its weight and trajectory once it hits the water. Additionally, with how Omega and AZI are situated, he needs to have the cable hit and latch onto AZI, without hitting Omega in the process, and get the exact angle needed to drag both of them to the surface.

Like I said: I have absolutely no idea how he made this shot. It's definitely the most impressive one he makes in the entire show based solely on external technical factors.

But of course, there is a parallel shot later in the series that's his most impressive one of all...

1. Freeing Omega in 3.15 "The Cavalry Has Arrived"

I will never shut up about this scene. It's been living in my head rent-free for three weeks already, and will continue to for several months.

This is undoubtedly the most important shot in Crosshair's life: the shot to save his kid and free his family from Hemlock once and for all.

And everything is working against him: It's dark. It's raining. Omega and Hemlock are like ~40 meters away. The target is the binders between their hands, which is like 3-5 centimeters wide, and won't exactly be stationary. Oh, he's using CX-2's stolen blaster, which doesn't even have a scope on it!!!

We the audience get a POV of what Crosshair sees from over his shoulder, and I can barely see Omega's face, let alone her hands!! I said in the previous entry that Crosshair's eyesight has to be better than the average person's because, holy hell, how can he see that?!?

And, even worse, Crosshair is physically and mentally spent in this scene. He had to return to his own personal hell -- the place where he was tortured and traumatized for months -- then got beaten in a fight and had his dominant hand chopped off.

He and Hunter are running on pure adrenaline at this point. They are absolutely hellbent on getting their kid back, even if they die or collapse in the process. They were practically hobbling out of the CX lab together, and when they crouch down on the bridge, Crosshair has to steady himself against Hunter because he doesn't have his other hand.

And, as the final cherry on top of this proverbially shitty sundae, Crosshair absolutely terrified of missing.

A few episodes ago, the guy couldn't hit stationary fruit from like ~15 meters away with a scope in daylight and in a controlled environment. He even tells Omega: "Close doesn't count. It's either a hit or a miss." Because in a high-stakes situation like this, missing your shot could mean death for you or someone else.

Crosshair already feels like he failed Omega because he missed the shot on Pabu. And now, he has to make an even tougher one with every disadvantage stacked against him and her life literally in his hand.

I don't blame the guy for doubting himself.

Thankfully, Hunter and Omega have complete faith in him, and despite everything he's been through in S3, he has faith in himself.

And so, in the shot to end all shots in "The Bad Batch," Crosshair hits his target and frees Omega.

He and Hunter then subsequently turn Hemlock into Swiss cheese before Omega gives Crosshair a much-needed hug, causing me to cry for the 100th time.

I'll admit: as much as I would've loved seeing another mirror trickshot or some other crazy ricochet in the finale (or just S3 in general), this scene is basically perfect.

It also makes for a nice little parallel to the S1 finale, where Crosshair saved Omega's life after she saved his. Here, as he says himself, he goes back to Tantiss to free her because she freed him first.

As someone said on Twitter when I asked for ideas about this list:

"(Crosshair) put his whole heart and soul in this shot, and he didn't miss. He couldn't afford to."

Like I said: this was the shot that freed the entire Bad Batch family from Hemlock forever. So, I think by default, it had to be No. 1 on this list.

*******

Anyway, thanks for reading! It'd be fun to put together another TBB list like this. I guess I'll have to pick a subject first, though, because I don't have any ideas. If you have any, send them my way!

(EDIT: For anyone who’s also on Twitter, give me a follow. @CatchingClassic )

[cryptidghostgirl]

Oooo part 2 of Aka Till Death Do Us Part (Alastor x Mad Scientist!Reader) was interesting

Loved it a lot 😭

Just imagining how reader would meet Lucifer (yes I'mma add some short king love) for the first time, whether this the ep where everyone meets him for the first time or he's just visiting is undecided.

Anyways she's a smart gal, she creates viruses, diseases, etc.. in order to destroy the human race (now demon and angel race), so she tries to befriend Lucifer

He's powerful, he could be her ticket out of the deal she was tricked into. Plus Alastor hates him so even better.

Whether the wife collector is befriending her from his hatred for Alastor (aka trying to steal his ex wife) or because he actually likes her or not is also undecided

But they become buddies, keeping her little secret while playing Alastor as this horrid creature that coerced her into a deal

She might not understand how deals function, but just like Alastor she'll find a way out of it. She won't let him interrupt her work for years again.

Another bonus of befriending Lucifer is she can try and coerce him into giving her some samples (blood, hair, skin, etc..) It'll help with the virus she's creating, along with seeing if there's any cell differences between fallen angels and normal ones.

A/N I literally love this idea. It is so on brand for her if she was tuned in with the world around her enough to realize her hanging with Lucifer even made Alastor mad. Also, not you calling Lucifer 'the wife collector,' that made me cackle.

Till Death Do Us Part pt. 3 (Alastor x Mad Scientist!Reader)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader x maybe also Lucifer a little bit if you squint

Previous Parts:

Till Death Do Us Part (Alastor x Mad Scientist!Reader)

Till Death Do Us Part pt. 2

Warnings: I am not a woman nor am I in stem (but an enby in history) so pls be kind about the fact that I don't understand science. Angst, abusive/unhealthy relationship, possessive Alastor. It's not love but its certainly something.

Word Count: 2,176

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List 

Alastor Master List 

Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.

Idle hands are the devil's playthings, wasn't that how the expression went?

It had been a month since that fateful day Y/n had struck a deal with Alastor, tying her to his side once again. She railed against it, fought valiantly, but there was no escaping the constraints of the contract. Never allowed a moment to herself, Y/n's life became a series of involvement in group activities she hated and chastisements from Alastor. She sat at his feet, the collar hanging heavy around her neck as a sort of twisted crown in his eyes. The Radio Demon and his wife, his queen, his prisoner.

She was never allowed out of his sight, Alastor even forcing her to stay in the same room as him, to sleep in the same bed. It was nothing Y/n had any sort of frame of reference for. He had never been like this in life, she had never experienced this sort of metaphorical suffocation. Y/n was adrift, the world a confusing blur around her. Every time she tried to make sense of it, thought she had figured out some small aspect, he changed it all again and left her in a lurch that sent her mind spiraling into unformed chaos.

Even when she managed somehow to stole a spare moment, was able to sneak away to her lab of a room, Alastor found her and dragged her out again. Y/n's continual protests and pleas to be allowed to continue her work, for him to hold up his end of the bargain and deliver her an angel, fell on deaf ears or were merely met with a solitary, fragile 'soon.' For all this time, Y/n had thought Hell to be misrepresented. She had found a true Heaven in Pentagram City, a safe haven, a salve. Now, she knew the true meaning of suffering.

It was different than she had expected. To suffer had always been something physical in her eyes. It had been her victims writhing in pain, it had been the sharp oppression of a world filled with human life. Never had she thought being trapped in her own mind like this could be a curse, rather than a blessed moment of reprieve.

Idle hands are the devil's playthings, wasn't that how the expression went? Y/n's hands were most certainly idle, all she needed was the devil to play with them.

It was just her luck when Lucifer showed up at the hotel, intent on visiting his daughter. Y/n was never the most observant but, since being tricked into selling her soul to Alastor, had become quite wary and watchful of him. It did not escape her notice the way his stance tightened and his eye twitched the minute the King of Hell threw himself through the hotel's double doors and into Charlie's arms.

Y/n watched the interaction carefully from where she sat lazily on the table beside Angel Dust and Sir Pentious. There were exactly three thoughts in her mind. The first was that it was useful to know Alastor hated the man. The second was that Lucifer was standing right before her eyes. He was powerful, maybe powerful enough to get her out of the sticky situation she currently found herself to be in. Not only that, but he was once an angel. This was the most important of the three thoughts, completely eclipsing the other two as soon as they reared their heads. Not quite the real deal but, potentially useful none the less. Getting close to him could mean getting one step closer to her goals. Silently, she slipped down from the table and began to approach the grouping of demons.

With a carful step, she sidled up behind them. Softly, she raised a hand to the back of Lucifer's head, to where his hair peaked out from beneath the edges of his hat. The excitement that rose in her chest was quickly stifled as Lucifer spun around.

"Charlie!" he exclaimed, "Why don't you introduce me to some of your other fr- oh!"

Y/n froze, her hand still raised. She opened her mouth to speak but the words caught in her throat once she caught the glare Alastor was sending her way. Letting out a nervous chuckle, Y/n's hands fell to her sides, clasping behind her back.

"Uh..." Lucifer turned to his daughter, his eyebrows raised.

"Oh, don't mind Y/n," Charlie awkwardly tittered, stepping forward, "she is always a bit... odd but, she is actually our newest guest!"

"Uh-huh." Lucifer nodded, his eyes moving back to Y/n and examining her features carefully, "Well, it is nice to be meeting you."

Lucifer stuck out his hand for Y/n to shake but the demon just eyed it warily. The furtive glance she shot Alastor behind his back, and the subtle nod he gave in return, did not escape Lucifer's notice. With another distasteful glance towards his hand, Y/n raised part of her hair up and took it, shaking it firmly.

Lucifer's confusion only seemed to grow as he looked down towards the point of connection.

"Um... okay, then." he hummed in thought as she released his hand.

It was when Alastor went out to solve the problem Mimzy had caused that Lucifer took his chance. All the while, as Mimzy had blathered on to Y/n about the 'good old days' and the shared aspects of their pasts, as soon as the tour of the hotel had ended, she had watched him. Observance was not, however, in her nature. It completely had escaped her notice that, all the while, Lucifer had been watching her as well.

The demon herself was nothing of import. She was strange and unrefined and, to be honest, deeply disconcerting to him in a number of ways. It was the thing lurking beneath it all that caught his attention. There was something going on between that girl and the Radio Demon and Lucifer didn't trust either of them. He may have thought Charlie's dreams to be in vain, known from his own experience how fruitless her project would turn out to be, but that didn't stop him from doing what it took to keep his little girl safe.

Lucifer sidled up beside the girl where she stood, watching the carnage Alastor wreaked with a vague sense of disinterest.

"So, you have a deal with the Radio Demon."

It was a statement, not a question. It was an accusation. Y/n shot into the air in surprise, not having noticed his presence beside her. With wide, analytical eyes, she turned to face him.

"With Alastor?"

"Yep."

"How could you tell?" she asked, leaning forward in curiosity.

"What are you two planning."

Another subtle command that went right over Y/n's head. She sighed, crossing her arms.

"I'm planning world destruction. He wants me to be his wife again and tricked me into this whole..." she waved her hands wildly through the air, "situation."

Lucifer didn't know whether to laugh or to take her out right there. Instead, he shook his head, opting to state in mild shock:

"Married? Again?"

"Yeah. I forced him to when we were alive so people would leave me alone and I'd have some human test subjects for my work. Let me tell you: not my favorite experiment I have ever conducted."

"I..." Lucifer was flabbergasted, struck into silence.

"So he tricked me into a deal. I was hiding from him for decades down here. One little slip up was all it took." she playfully used her hair to hit the side of her head, "Stupid Y/n."

"Where does the again part fit in?"

Y/n raised her eyebrows.

"Really? Why is that the part I have to explain to everyone. I mean, logically, it just doesn't make sense. That should be the question on the bottom of someones list. It shouldn't even be a question."

"Did you get a divorce?"

"In 1930? No. Even I knew that wasn't really an option. I married him to stop people talking, not start it. Besides, he wasn't this much of a bother when we were alive."

"So..." Lucifer prompted after a moment.

"Till death do us part?"

"Ah."

He really did laugh now. Just a light chuckle. Y/n smiled in appreciation.

"There you go. Now, how did you know? About the deal, I mean. Also, why do you guys hate each other so much? I thought you had never met before? And oh! Ohohoh! Also, can I have some of your hair."

Lucifer scoffed, his arms falling loosely from where he had crossed them over his chest to his sides. Charlie had been right, Y/n certainly was odd.

"My hair?"

Y/n nodded her head eagerly. When he gave no response, a concentrated and slightly confused expression flitted across her face. As if struck by a sudden inspiration, she regained her composure once again.

"Oh, yeah. I'm supposed to say 'please' when I ask for stuff. Al always said it was proper manners but I think its just a waste of time to be perfectly honest. It's still the same request, the same outcome. Doesn't really change anything. Why would one word make someone give a totally different answer? I mean, it's just foolish really. Anyway," she cleared her throat, "can I please have some of your hair?"

"I..." Lucifer raised a hand to his forehead, rubbing his temples, "why?"

"Because you're a fallen angel?" Y/n replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "And I want to see what that means?"

Before Lucifer could reply, Alastor stepped back into the lobby, straightening his jacket.

"What a show!" Angel exclaimed, applauding dramatically.

Alastor tipped his head to the side in recognition, his eyes surveying the room. When they fell on Lucifer and Y/n in the corner, his gaze hardened. Y/n payed the commotion no mind. Lucifer, on the other hand, grinned.

"I have a proposal." he hummed, turning back to Y/n.

She narrowed her eyes in sudden doubt.

"You don't like Alastor very much, do you?"

"No...? Of course I don't!" Y/n replied in exasperation, "All he does is keep me from doing my work and drag me around by that stupid chain like a dog. It hurts my neck and..." her voice grew softer and she looked away, fixing her eyes on her interlaced fingers, "and I feel like he's trying to force me into the shape of something I'm not. It's... it's like wearing shoes that are four sizes two small on a twenty mile hike."

Lucifer laughed.

"Well, that certainly is... descriptive. How about we make a deal?"

Her head shot up, her narrowed eyes meeting his once again.

"You're not going to just take my soul like he did, are you?"

"No, of course not my dear. Only lesser demons like him need to do that in order to feel strong, to maintain some sort of power, to get what they want." Lucfier enunciated the last four words sharply, the syllables like needles, "I'm simply offering an exchange."

"That's what he said too."

Lucifer raised his hands to show he meant no harm.

"Look, we don't even have to shake on it. I will give you some of... some of my hair or... whatever... and you will help me get on his nerves, take him down a notch. Who the Hell knows, that might even help you too."

Y/n was silent in thought for a moment. She did want the hair and messing with Alastor seemed all too appealing. Still, there was something eating away at her.

"Would you..." she lifted herself up to Lucifer's eye level with her hair.

Y/n wasn't that much shorter than the king of Hell, just a couple inches. Those couple inches certainly made a difference. Lucifer could have sworn there was a literally electrical spark in the darkness of her eyes.

"You're powerful, yes? King of Hell and all?"

Lucifer nodded.

"Would you be able to help me figure out a way out of this mess?"

It was Lucifer's turn to think now as he mulled the idea over in his mind. Sure, theoretically he probably could but, he had never tried to break another demon's deal and even past that, he didn't know if he wanted to. Y/n was disarming, strange, had mentioned wanting to destroy the world. Lucifer didn't know her well enough to gage if there was any real risk and Alastor seemed to have her on more than a metaphorical leash.

"Maybe." he admitted, deciding on the path of least resistance, the one where he could try and succeed or pretend it was an unknown impossibility all along, "I don't know."

In some strange way, there was something stable about the man before her. Alastor was unpredictable, had sent her life spinning. Lucifer felt safe.

"Good enough for me!" Y/n smiled brightly, "I look forward to working with you."

---

Writing this made me really want to do a Lucifer fic with the idle hands thing.

TAGS:

@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0@kahlan170@wendyphan01203-blog @fairyv-ice @clarakainda @lunaramune @mcueveryday @luxky-aish @peterpankat @corvid007 @marukun @nanami1chu @i-like-potatoes12533 @boogiemansbitch @apenasandorinha @almond-t0fu @mygoldtears @ahellborn @winterisholding @misty-melody @themetalbabygirl @trash-shoot @clarakainda @ladyscorpion19 @dasimp777 @juskonutoh @simpingsohard @sethianaa @gabile18 @slytherin4ever

[dangermousie]

Honestly I think you're one of my favourite kdrama bloggers on here and I'm curious: what are the kdramas you consider to be perfect? Like top to bottom not a single flaw seen. What's the best of dramaland for you?

Awww thank you! I love this type of ask too!

Any list of mine is gonna be of course vvv subjective (I am not a romcom lover for example) and I can guarantee you that the moment I hit post, I am gonna lose my mind because I will remember I forgot something.

Also, no flaw by definition excludes some of my faves where there are a few minor flaws but the rest is so amazing it doesn't matter (The Legend First King's Four Gods comes to mind - the first ep ie prologue set 1k years before the main story - is a lil cheesy. But the rest is so good I don't even care and same for My Dearest where I'd perhaps remove the final amnesia bit but it's a perfect drama otherwise with the rest so good I don't even care. So perhaps they should be listed.)

But anyway here are are some dramas where I have not seen a single flaw, perfect dramas.

Mawang (also known as The Devil or Lucifer) - probably the best kdrama dealing with revenge ever made - the damage, the driving need, the destruction of self and yet destruction of self without it. To really explain anything about it would be spoilery so all I am going to say is it revolves around an icy lawyer with a secret, a hot headed cop chasing a string of murders, and a librarian who can read past events by touching objects or people. The way I cried. The way I stared in shock as it ended. The sheer perfection of it all - the acting, the relationships, the writing. I get emotional just thinking of it.

IRIS - yup, an action drama. I am not much of a fan of various sequels/spin-offs (involving different characters, you do not need to watch anything else if you watched IRIS or to watch IRIS to watch the others) but the original is amazing. Sure, it's an actioner. It's also an amazing character study of a person taken apart and trying to put himself together, of past tangling, of people passing or failing tests set by life. It's just - AAAAAAAAA also yet another drama I bawled for hours over.

Train - Yoon Si Yoon is a cop slipping between alternate universes in search of a killer seems like a procedural with a side of scifi but it's more of a meditation on love and loss and what drives us to keep living (or not.)

Someday - hands down the most obscure kdrama on this list, this is a tale of four people whose lives intersect - a mangaka seeking inspiration, a sort of private detective hiding unimaginable trauma under his sunny demeanor, a manipulative yet childlike psychologist and a business minded friend of the last one, the sanest of them all. When people discuss healing dramas, this is the one that comes to mind. My favorite is the detective's arc because it's one of those trauma sunshine things where he's coping, coping, coping and then...stops.

Empress Ki and 6 Flying Dragons - if you watch only two long sageuks, make it these ones. They are smart (esp 6FD), and they are such amazing complex character studies of people being hollowed out by power. The OTPs are amazing and what I love but the character study is even better. And both are epic in all senses of the world.

Speaking of sageuks, Slave Hunters (also known as Chuno) about a former nobleman who's a slave hunter now, an escape slave who used to be a general, and a slave woman masquerading as an aristocrat is my favorite sageuk of all time - a love story, a character story, and a story of the dispossessed, this is smart and grim and hopeful and just - if there was ever a perfect sageuk, this is it.

The Princess' Man and Flower of Evil - ie Moon Chae Won loves a feral mess and goes MINE! TPM is a smart emotional sageuk, one of the best out there and FoE is a study of love and trauma.

Something Happened in Bali, Padam Padam, A Love to Kill, Spring Waltz, Thank You, Snow Queen, That Winter the Wind Blows - old school melodramas (perhaps not TY so much, it's more complicated in genre) that push people to the limits to expose their deepest selves.

My Country the New Age, Hong Gil Dong, Rebel the Thief Who Stole the People, The Crowned Clown, Return of Iljimae - they focus on class in period setting (just as Chuno did) and make me care and think.

Worlds Within - seemingly about lives of studio workers, this is a rare drama where you feel you are peeking at real people.

Gloria and Family Honor - 50 ep drama where I'd remove nothing and that feels so intimate.

W Two Worlds, Extraordinary You, The Moon in the Day, Live Up to Your Name, Queen In Hyun's Man - high concepts that improbably work and make you think and feel.

Secret Garden, City Hunter, Healer, Sungkyunkwan Scandal, Faith, Tale of the Nine Tailed, I Hear Your Voice - just a wonderful good time.

Gaksital - take a bad guy, make him your protag, slowly redeem him and put him through hell.

Bad Guys - a bleak take on revenge and truth but also a damn good time at the same time somehow.

Beyond Evil and Cruel City - about cops but not really. About forgiveness, love and limits.

Come and Hug Me - brought me back to kdramas. A love story and trauma story and a bit of a thriller. It's everything.

Beauty Inside, Last Scandal, City Hall, My Girl, Delightful Girl Chunhyang and Hometown Cha Cha Cha - it is very rare for me to love romcoms. These few make the list. They also made me cry so make of it what you will.

Shut Up Flower Boy Band - the only time I liked a teen drama.

Capital Scandal and Chicago Typewriter - masterpieces dealing with the 1930s revolutionaries.

Que Sera Sera - if you love dysfunction and intense shipping, oh boy!

I am sure the moment I hit post, I will remember something else, but this will do for now.

ETA: aaaaaa Damo!!! My very first sageuk and what a way to start!!! Perfection.

ETA2: Arang and the Magistrate! OK Shin Min Ah is in an awful lot of these...

[pooks]

part 4 of straw hat! Ichiji and we're at the last legs of the East Blue Saga; Arlong Park and Loguetown arcs

finding Nami and encountering the Fish Men

Ichiji arrives to a new island, along with Sanji and his new captain Luffy. on the journey there, he and the others were filled in by Johnny and Yosaku about what happened previously.

Sanji is in denial that Nami would have anything to do with Arlong while Ichiji is more rational and believes that there might be blackmail involved.

when they re-encounter Nami again, Ichiji realizes that he was right in his theory but he doesn't have the whole story and he decides that he can't interfere with something he have no business with, not when Nami rejects them.

Ichiji becomes very annoyed with Sanji's lovestruck behavior and outright tells Zoro that he has his full permission to fight Sanji if it shuts him up (and Zoro took that to heart, judging of how many times he would bicker and fight with Sanji in the future XD)

"Fight him, argue with him, tie him up, kick him in the ocean-I don't care! Just make sure he doesn't make a damn fool out of himself! I need to think." - Ichiji's exact words.

Ichiji, in dire situations, is a thinker and he sense that something is wrong here. compared to his crew maters, Ichiji responds to being attacked by the Fish-Men in a rather cold, calculated way. he hates to admit it to himself, but his training at Germa never left him and he uses it to his advantage. the Fish-Men discovers the hard way that Ichiji is not a "normal human" when he takes barely a scratch or even a bruise. when asked what he is, Ichiji replies in a chilling way

"Oh, I'm no human. I'm a monster."

Arlong, upon hearing about this, decides that Ichiji could be useful for him and orders his goons to take him alive to Arlong Park.

common ground with Nami

when the straw hats re-encounter Nami during her breakdown of being betrayed by Arlong, Ichiji understands that they're not so different after all; both of them has made a deal with a "devil" to save something they love (Ichiji, for Sanji and Nami, for her village). when Luffy declares that they're moving out to Arlong Park to defeat Arlong, Ichiji extends a hand to Nami and tells her that he has, also, sacrificed like Nami.

Ichiji then parts the hair that covers his left eye and reveals to Nami and the straw hats his secret; there's a star-burst shaped burn scar on his left eye. his eye is unharmed, but he tells them this was the prize to pay for the freedom of someone he loves. Sanji is the only one who isn't surprised about this revelation, but he looks away before anyone can see he's silently crying. Zoro catches on Sanji's reaction but says nothing (because what can he possibly say in this situation?)

they walk to Arlong Park, in the badass iconic way as they do

fighting Arlong and the Fish Men

Ichiji fights with his legs, just as Sanji does, and this is where he unlocks "Sparkling Red" for the first time. his new "power" reinforces his kicks in a more powerful way. Ichiji doesn't know what's happening to him and he has a mild crisis over it until Zoro shouts at him to focus on the fight and worry about that later

it doesn't take long for him to understand that whatever Judge experimented on his during those six months of hell is now paying off; he knows that something has changed and he has a strange power, but he uses now Sparkling Red to his advantage

of course, in a very villain-esque way, Ichiji do encounter Arlong and he gets the whole speech about a human-looking non-human would belong with his midst. Ichiji coldly laughs at the idea and says "why would I align myself with someone who doesn't keep their word? a true man would always keep his word, fish-men or not."

he reflects back on Zeff's "lessons" about being a man. the third lesson was that a real man always keep his word and stands for it.

with Sparkling Red enhancing his speed and strength, Ichiji no longer holds back and defeat most Fish-Men (the force of Sparkling Red spreads across his legs, like sparkling red lines wrapped around his legs and thighs)

he gets worried about Zoro a lot (he got his wounds reopened and has a fever), but trusts that they can pull through this and they can address Zoro's injuries afterwards

Ichiji panics when he sees Arlong Park collapse and nearly assumes the worst...until Luffy emerges from the wreckage and claims victory. overwhelmed with joy, Ichiji can't resist from hugging Usopp and dances merrily with him.

the mood is nearly ruined because of corrupt Marines and Ichiji learns fast from Nami what happened to the money she had struggled to earn to buy her village back from Arlong.

now, it's already established that Ichiji hates marines, due to they always turn to the Baratie being entitled bastards and this doesn't help. he calmly walks to Nami's side when she beats up Nezumi (the corrupt marine captain) and asks for her permission to handle this. and Ichiji just gives Nezumi a real slasher smile and says "i've never liked Marines, they always come to the Baratie and acts like entitled bastards who owns the world. but i hate corrupt marines even more. how about...there is one less corrupt marine in the world?"

he doesn't really plan to kill Nezumi, btw. but he wanted to scare him shitless...which works. Usopp later remarks that he was a little scared too and it felt like Ichiji could set the whole world on fire and destroy kingdoms with just his glare.

leaving Cocoyashi and Luffy's first bounty

the straw hats spends three days on the island, which allows Zoro to get healed up and the whole island parties to celebrate their newfound freedom. Ichiji takes in all the joy around himself and he feels at ease, seeing so many people so happy.

he thinks about Germa and silently wonders that if Judge had been a half-decent person, could've Germa Kingdom become something like this? a small kingdom, but with good monarchs and happy people. he sits down and looks up in the night skies, wondering if his mother are seeing him and Sanji and if she would be happy to see them happy and free.

onboard the Merry, the straw hats are sailing towards their last stop before the Grand Line...Loguetown, which is famous for being the birthplace and deathplace of Gold Roger, the infamous Pirate King

Luffy's first wanted poster has arrived and the crew is shocked to see his head is worth 30 million berry. Usopp is especially happy to see himself in the background of the wanted poster (just the back of his head, tho) which irks at Sanji's annoyance. Luffy, Usopp and Sanji acts silly while Nami is frustrated over their lack of taking this seriously.

Ichiji is more concerned since he figured that with Luffy having a 30 million bounty on his head, stronger opponent might come after them. he goes to consult Zoro about this and Zoro reveals that he had the same mindset, having one solution; they need to become stronger and more prepared.

Ichiji says it's only a matter of time until all of them gets a bounty on their heads. Zoro smirks at this and bets that he'll get his first wanted poster before Sanji.

entering Loguetown and cursed swords

as they docks at Loguetown, Ichiji decides to accompany Zoro when he aims to find two new swords to replace his destroyed ones (by Mihawk). Ichiji, who was trained in swordmanship at Germa when he was a child, advises him to inquire a shopkeeper about the quality about the words they're potentially selling.

Zoro jokes that he didn't know he had a hidden rival regarding swordmanship on the crew. Ichiji only shakes his head and says he doesn't aim to become a swordsman, just because he knows how to fight with swords, and his dream is to chronicle their adventures. Zoro asks him if he would write a book about him becoming the world's greatest swordsman and Ichiji answers "what made you believe that I wasn't already?"

this ends up in their first meeting with Tashigi, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Zoro's deceased friend Kuina, and Ichiji senses that Zoro is agitated, trying to calm him down. he also witnesses Zoro's "test of luck" and has a panic-induced anxiety...until he sees that Zoro's luck won against Sandai Kitetsu's "curse". Zoro also obtains Yubashiri, an heirloom blade and the finest one in shop. Ichiji feels very honored of witnessing this moment and declares to Zoro that he's certain that Zoro's adventures as a swordman will become a very good book.

Ichiji doesn't have a too high opinion of Tashigi, considering his distaste for marines in general, and he's quick to counter her argument regarding pirates or bountyhunters using legacy katana swords.

"And I suppose you are the one who decides who gets to bear a sword then? A sword is a responsibility and you bear it with honor and respect. To bear a blade like Wado Ichimonji, Sandai Kitetsu or Yubashiri...it's a big honor and their owner treats his swords like companions, not as tools. A word of advice, my lady. Don't assume things when you don't have the full story. It'll save you the embarrassment of being wrong." - Ichiji, during his call-out to Tashigi

Luffy's "execution" and Ichiji's "rage"

Ichiji is horrified when he sees Luffy being nearly executed and he's furious at the responsible pirates behind it. he shouts at Buggy, asking who he think he is to lead someone in a trap to execute them and where is his proper honor, that he should fight like a pirate, face to face

(Buggy is visibly annoyed by Ichiji's outburst and it doesn't help that he doesn't see a new pirate face. all of sudden...he sees a replica of Shanks)

the events that unfolds is pretty quick. Luffy is rescued by a cloaked "stranger", Smoker is unnerved by Luffy being similar to Gold Roger and Buggy, Alvida and their goons are defeated

Zoro and Ichiji, along with Sanji, re-encounter Tashigi who reveals being a marine and it irks at Ichiji's temper. she accuses Zoro for "tricking" her and Zoro is more unnerved by her uncanny resemblance to Kuina.

Ichiji's temper is finally pushed when Tashigi badmouths pirates. being raised by a pirate who sacrificed his leg for him and his brother, being raised among ex-pirate turned cooks and being a pirate himself, Ichiji has nothing but respect for them. marines, however, are the scum of earth for him. he, more or less, explodes.

"Marines...more like tyrants with too much power at hand and playing demi-god! I've lived my whole life on a restaurant that doesn't discriminate pirates, marines or civilians and YET, only marines has the gall to act like spoiled, entitled and ungrateful bastards! I have heard about Axe-Hand Morgan and how he treated people like insects under his boot! And it has only strengthened my decision to never trust a marine, even if I lay dying on the ground. If you believe that you're better than anyone, just because you happened to be a marine, then lay off! Marines doesn't save pr protect people! They want to control them like puppets!"

Zoro and Sanji ends up dragging Ichiji off his feet as he's going off. Zoro subdues Ichiji by pressing on "pressure point on Ichiji's back, forcing him to become relaxed and half-conscious. Sanji whispers to Zoro that marines is pretty much a berserk button for Ichiji and vaguely mentions there was an incident at the Baratie when they were fifteen, but he have no details except Zeff told him to never mention it if he wants to keep his ass from looking like a jolly roger.

the straw hats ends up successful in their escape and realizing that they can no longer linger in the East Blue, they set course straight to the Grand Line. but not before they have a cast off ceremony and make a pledge for their dreams.

Ichiji pledges to write and chronicle the adventures of the greatest Pirate King, Monkey D. Luffy.

(end. part 4)

(read part 1, part 2 and part 3 here)

[skaldish]

Hey what's the deal with Thursatru? Something feels off about it to me...

You can ignore my last ask; I saw you answer someone else who had the same question

Well first for posterity: Thurs (or Tussar) are Jötun, and Jötnar are the wild, untameable forces of nature. But unlike most Jötnar, Thurs are wild to the degree that they are actively and decisively incompatible with human wellbeing.

They represent the most extreme and destructive phenomena of nature, like rockslides and volcanic eruptions—stuff you have no chance of surviving if you get caught in its path. The destructive nature of Thurs is where we get the meaning of the rune Thurisas from.

Folklore has it that Thurs commonly dwell where humans fundamentally cannot. Some are said to live in Jötunheimen national park, up where the mountain peaks are swallowed by the clouds and where nothing grows. They throw rocks down at people passing by.

They also live in the volcanos of Iceland (Muspelheim). Thurs such as Sutur are responsible for the destructive nature of volcanos, spewing fire, ash, and molten rocks, while cracking open the land during an eruption.

My understanding is that it's uncommon for people to venerate the Thurs, but not for any taboo reason. Rather, it's the same reason why we don't worship wild tigers; "worship" is not the kind of relationship that builds any rapport with them. For most people, their relationships with Thurs involve being cautious of their nature and staying out of their way.

This is the way Thurs are understood in folklore. Now, to understand what Thursatru is, and what its deal is, take everything I just said and throw it out the window.

"Thursatru," from what I've gathered, basically characterizes itself as the Satanism of Heathenry, and it only makes sense in relation to specifically the American flavor of Asatru.

Keep in mind not refering to all of Heathenry in America, but to the way Icelandic Ásatrú is interpreted by Americans: The Eddas are treated as scripture, the past is treated as doctrine, Valhalla is treated as the goal to aspire to (awarded to those who live by the "viking values" outlined in the Havamal, or the snake-oil known as the Nine Noble Virtues), and Odin is treated as the Supreme Being and Loki his adversary.

The phrase "Asatru"—meaning "true to the Aesir"—is viewed as almost like an oath of office. You are pledging yourself to the Aesir's "side" in a prophesized cosmic war, fought between the forces of Order (represented by the Aesir, especially Odin) and Chaos (represented by the Jötnar, with figures like Loki, Ymir, and Sutur).

Jötnar basically fulfill the same function in American Asatru that demons and devils do in Christianity. If Satanism is the worship of all that is antithetical to the Christian god and Christianity, then Thursatru is the worship of all that is antithetical to the Aesir and Asatru belief. By being Thursatru, you're choosing to oppose the Aesir, aligning yourself with the forces destined to fight against them during Ragnarok.

And yes, all of it is extremely corny.

None of Heathenry was ever like this, and much of American Asatru is Christianity in viking garb.

Rockslides are dangerous, but not evil. Volcanic eruptions are disastrous, but not evil. The natural processes of the world—processes that are essential for life on Earth—don't always align with our needs as individual organisms. In fact, some of these processes will always be to our detriment if we stand in their way, as is the case volcanic eruptions and rockslides. That is the Thurs. That is who they are and what they represent.

So basically, the thing that's "off" about Thursatru is that it exists as a reaction to the narrative of American Asatru, and actually legitimizes that narrative to the public eye because it conforms to the American Asatru claim that venerating the Thurs fundamentally opposes the Aesir.

It's not true though, and that logic doesn't check when you put Heathenry back into its own paradigm. Saying Thurs-venerating opposes the Aesir is like saying "Exploring volcanos means you fundamentally oppose the existence of human-friendly environments." Like, what.

The only thing that actually makes someone Aesir-opposing, is their stance of opposing the Aesir. Venererating Thurs just makes someone Norse Heathen.

It's shenanigans all the way down.

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

SET ME FREE X MIN YOONGI

[Mafia AU]

PART THREE

A deal with the devil

Side Characters: K. Namjoon, J. Jungkook, J. Hoseok and P. Jimin.

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood, death, gunshot, sharp objects, smut, guns.

Song: Gangster - Kehlani and Desperado - Rihanna

……………………………..……………………………..……………………

Leaving Paradise was much easier then going inside, obviously. I still wasn’t over the fact that I was even there to begin with, but the mark on my neck was a clear reminder of last night. It was real, all of it. Yoongi was there.

It didn’t took me too long to find out Yoongi wasn’t like any ordinary man, but now that i was sure he was involved with the Min mafia every detail about his character from the way he moves, talks and presents himself wherever he goes where only the small indicators although appearances could only say much he was also at the crime scene Agust d mafia was involved and not long after he got into Paradise without any trouble were the signs I needed to confirm my suspicions, he didn’t gave me a clear answer but, he avoided doing it so at every chance.

The whole talk about “don’t ask questions that could get you killed” was my confirmation.

Everything was slowly falling into its right place, the more i looked into it the more sense it made to me. The reality wants as sweet as I thought it would be after all of that, the mark on my neck now covered by a badge was a burning reminder of my weakness. So much was going through my mind now, I couldn’t think about what to do, I had the knife in my hand but was I going to use it in my favor?

My suspicions about our chief working with the enemy were still not confirmed and if it really turns out to be true, things will surely get uglier. I knew it had something to do with the late case about the director house being invaded and him beaten up, could it be they were making a deal? Maybe something to do with Namjoons investigation? I couldn’t find anything on the documents in the system, not a single lead about them or anything suspicious involving the chief, i had been looking everywhere for documents that could have any info on the Min mafia case even stealing some from Namjoons office I was going to give it back before he comes back but, for now I can’t let my guard down.

I had been flipping through pages of one i just took form his office, a sight of disappointment leaving my lips. It was just a report on the last investigation nothing new, they didn’t have anything.

Sound of footsteps coming towards my direction as I walked down the corridor files my ears but I ignored, slowly turning the pages of the document in my hands trying to focus on the info in it. Footsteps getting louder as they get closer and a familiar scent made me instantly stop in my tracks to look up at the person walking towards me.

My breath got stuck in my chest as my eyes fall into his, I loook side to side in the corridor to see if anyone else was there only to find out I was alone with him.

He stopped in front of me grabbing me by the wrist as he closed the distance between us taking the papers of my hand, he looked at it and then scoffed eyes looking back at mine.

- didn’t I told you to stop looking for something that could get you killed? - he said, lifting the papers up to my eye sight.

- you did? If I’m not mistaken you didn’t tell me shit? - i said, purposely cussing seeing his expression switch to an angry one - Now you’re here again, why?! To finish the job?!

He looked at me his eyes burning into mine then smirked.

- oh, right how could I even think for a second you were in the mafia - i spat - you’re jus an arrogant-

Before I could even finish he pushed me against the wall of the long corridor, hand in my neck as his eyes burned over mine.

- didn’t I told you I would put that mouth of yours to good use if you disrespected me again? - he held my neck tighter - you wanna play with fire? - he pushed me against the wall with his body - I’ll bring you to hell.

He cornerd me against the wall hands now beside my head on the wall, footsteps where heard from the corridor, he brought his finger up my lips in a silence sign.

- what’s this? - it was Namjoon, a questioned look on his face.

They both looked at each other. An awkward tension between them as they just stared at each other for a moment.

Yoongi looked back at me, a smirk still on his lips as he turned to Namjoon again liking at him up and down.

- see you cop - Yoongi said to me.

With that he left pissed. His footsteps where loud and clear, never once looking back.

- I thought you didn’t knew him? - Namjoon said suddenly, staring beside me.

- I don’t… I… - my brain was still foggy as I was still not over Yoongis words, eyes still looking where he left.

- is everything okay? - Namjoon held my hand turning me to look at him.

- yes why wouldn’t i be okay? - i tried to give him a small smile as I took my hand out of his - he just… wanted some information.

Thinking about the word information i realized he took the papers with him, Namjoons documents that I stole from his office. Yoongi took with him information on the Min mafia case, he was in the mafia Min.

I was in trouble.

I quickly left. Namjoon fallowing me, I ignored his calls for me as I kept walking fast I couldn’t face him right now. I just let information about his investigation slip into the hands of the mafia.

…

I didn’t know what to think.

I’ve been in autopilot mode ever since i left that corridor with a confused Namjoon, my mind was running laps around his words. He wasn’t warning anyrmore, Yoongi was threatening me to leave the Agust d investigation that he somehow knew i was doing.

Was that what he was doing at the chief office that day?

They warned the chief before almost killing the director? Did they have some info about their mafia that could finally take them down somehow?

To say i was afraid now was an understatement, i couldn’t let anything happen. I couldn’t leave my brother alone too. But at the same time, I couldn’t take him out of my mind.

I avoided Namjoon the whole morning, poor him was so lost and confused about my sudden behavior. But I couldn’t face him, at this point I knew he had already connected the dots and found out i had something going on with Yoongi.

Even now that I know for a fact that Yoongi is part of the Min Mafia I couldn’t tell Namjoon about it, he would ignore everything and just tell me how stupid I was at going to downtown again and trying to get inside Paradise. To investigate a case that was bigger then me. To investigate a case he’s been working for a year already.

The more i thought about it the more it came to me just how silly he thinks of me, like a little girl who can take care of herself.

Yoongis words hitting me just as hard. Everyone thought of me as a weak girl. I was so tired of it.

At lunch break I went out alone to eat, document files of the Min mafia in my hand as i continued to investigate the case. I’ll get that Agust D myself if i have to. I was so done at everyone’s idea of who I was.

Same thoughts in my mind as i came back to the station, I wasn’t going to ignore Namjoon anymore. Determination on my mind as i was crossing the street to get inside the station. A black Porsche stoping right in front of me, almost running me over.

I was ready to cuss the owner of the expensive car when the passenger door suddenly opened and i was pushed inside the car. The door was closed before almost hitting my nose, i looked around only to find the driver a man I’ve never seen beside me.

He had a sharp serious look on his face as he looked ahead, never once he looked at my direction. The car began to move and I quickly turned to look at the window, we were going further away from the station.

- who even are you? - i asked him, turning to look at him, anger filling me up.

- I’m the consigliere… but you can call me Jack - he said, not looking at me as he drives the car one hand on the wheel the other resting on the window - I’ll be short and clear with you.

He turned to look at me, eyes burning into mine. As he slowed down the car, looked me up and down, indifference in his eyes.

- I’m the consigliere of the Min mafia… - he stated.

- What? Yeah right…- i stared at the roads ahead. He couldn’t be. Out of nowhere, and with me?

The car suddenly stoped harshly making me almost hit my head in the front of the car, i looked at him in disbelief.

- I’ll put it this way… - this time he turned to me, eyes burning into mine. - Agust D doesn’t like when woman or children are hurt… here’s the thing, I’m not him.

I gulped down. His words sended a chilling feeling down my spine, he came closer to whisper the next threat.

- if you don’t do what I said I’ll kill your brother in the most horrible way possible.

I didn’t know what to say. Wha to do. My mind wasn’t working at that point, I could only stare into his cold gaze. Heart racing with fear.

Was this what Yoongi meant? All those warnings and I ignored him all along, and for what? Obsession?

My own mistakes have put my brother in danger and now i have to pay the price. I should’ve know better. I betrayed everyone. My family. My job. Namjoon. Now I’ll have to do even worst things.

To protect my brother.

- Our mole in your station desapear… - he said eyes looking back at the road - we need you to do the job now but, it seems you’re already pretty good at getting info about us.

I just stared at him, his words sinking into me as he chuckled at his last words.

He knew I’ve been looking for information about them. They knew. But more then anything, they had a mole in our station this whole time. That’s how they knew I was investigating them and that’s how they knew every move the police had on them.

- what happened to your last mole? Why does it have to be me? - I found the courage to ask.

- We don’t know, that’s why your taking his place - he said, a smirk on his heart shaped lips. - your job is to give us all the information about the current investigation going on, that Namjoon guy have something under his sleeve, we want that.

He gave me a smirk turning back to look ahead of him, putting his hand on his jacket taking a black phone he than handed it to me.

- I’ll give you the instructions through this phone - he said - if anything happens you must destroy this phone, don’t ever call or text me with your own phone only this.

I took the phone from his hand, nodding. A heavy heart on my chest. All this time I questioned Yoongi about working with the mafia now here I am.

Having no choice but to do this.

- How long will I have to do this? - i asked him.

- Not too long if you do a good job - he said, a serious look back to his features.

- My brother…? - before I could em my sentence he interrupted me.

- Will be fine, as long as you do your job.

The car began to ride back to the station, there was a silence between us till I saw the station from afar, i looked at him taking in his features. He was warring a jacket and jeans, brown hair styled and smelled like Chanel.

A focused and serious expression on his face, he held himself very confidently but something abou ruim seemed odd.

I didn’t have time to think much of it as the car was stopping right in front of the station, where we left.

My mind kept racing with thoughts as I came back to my reality.

Could i even do this, why did it have to be me? Of everyone else.

As the car stopped I looked at Jack beside me.

- why me? - i asked him.the question he didn’t answer.

He smiled sickly coming closer to my face, once bearly centimeters away to me he turned to whisper in my ear.

- you’ll find out soon.

With that he went back to his seat, I gulped down. Looking at the station through the window, my heart was sinking down. I’ll have to lied to Namjoon again.

Jack gave me one last look.

- if you tell anyone… - he began.

- I know. Don’t worry about that. - I tell him. Already accepted my fate.

- Good now leave, I’ll contact you later.

With that I left the car.

Frozen in front of the station, i felt colder the more I looked at it. Could i really do it? My whole life i dreamed to help others, to be just like my father and bring justice to those who deserved. Now I’ll have to turn my back to all of them, I’ll have to betray everything my father once believed in and all he taught me.

Maybe they were right about me, maybe I’m weak.

But I don’t have a choice now, do i?

I have to be strong. For my brother.

…

The rest of the day went so fast, the only reminder of time was the phone in my pocket. The weight it had on me was almost making me go insane, at any moment Jack could contact me.

And I couldn’t think of anything else but that.

But he didn’t.

It was almost night when I finally forgot about the whole deal i made with that devil, I decided to stop looking through the Min mafia cases and focus only on my work at the station.

So much happened lately, I couldn’t find where it all began and turned into this mess.

Maybe when brother got caught up in with those tugs, when Yoongi helped us and then i was completely obsessed with him and his mysterious aura.

To seeing him at the station I worked looking like a fine man, wearing expensive clothes and smoking. To finding him at Paradise.

I had to clear my mind. I couldn’t let him run through my mind anymore, it was all his fault anyway. If he didn’t came that night and help us, if he didn’t came to my station. If I had never met Yoongi I wouldn’t be here right now.

At that point i was so angry at him, I couldn’t hear a single thing about that investigation every word was a painful reminder of how stupid I was and left the office.

As I walked down the hallway to leave I saw Namjoon walking down the same hallway with a few of his things from the office inside a box in his hands, wondering what that was about a decided to talk to him.

- hey - i called him, he turned back giving me a tired smile. - what you doing?

- I decided to fallow your words - he said looking down before meeting my eyes - I’m taking a few days off.

- That’s good, you more than everyone here needs a rest - i tell him, he continues to walk as i fallow him right beside him.

- What about you? - he asked me as we walked down the stairs.

- I’m just going out for a smoke - i tell him.

- I thought you stopped? - he looked at me, confusion on his face.

- I did… but difficult times call for not so healthy decisions - i tell him, we walked out the doors of the station.

The cold air of the late afternoon hitting my face as I took a deep breath in, turning to Namjoon at my side who watched me with worry in his face.

- is there anything I do to help? - he says.

Looking at him right now I felt sick, i hate having to lie to him. Anyone but him. He’s done so much for me and my brother, more than I could have ever asked for and now i had to betray him. Lie to his face. Tell him I was fine when I wasn’t. When all I wanted was to hug him and cry on his shoulder, have him tell me everything was going to be alright that he got my back.

But i couldn’t.

That girl wasn’t me anymore. I couldn’t be her anymore.

- I can do it don’t worry - i tell him, fake smile on my lips.

- That’s my girl - he says, genuine smile on his lips as he gives me a pat on my head - look at you all grow up, I’m proud of you Y/n.

I felt like throwing up. Fake smile never leaving my lips as i look at him, i took in all the details of his face one last time. He’s genuine smile to me, affectionate and warm. All of it.

- I’ll go now - he said, turning to leave he waved at me one last time.

I waved back.

I love you.

I cleared the tears forming on my eyes, taking the cigarette from my pocket lighting one. I look up at the sky as i blow the smoke into the air.

The sound of ringing sending a chill down my spine and i took the phone off my pocket, it said unknown caller. But I knew exactly who it was.

My first job.

- hello - i said.

- Did he left? - Jack said on the other side of the line, it didn’t took me long to realize he meant Namjoon.

- Yes.

- Good. I need you to bring the reports of the case to Paradise, third floor room 13 - with that he ended the call.

I took a deep breath, throwing the cigarette on the floor I turned to enter the station.

I had to focus. Forget about the past and everything else. They were not just some tugs but the mafia, my brother’s life was on the line.

I’ll give them the info. Than soon this will be all over.

At this hour the station was almost empty. As i walk down the corridors to Namjoons office, making sure no one was around as i entered closing the door behind me. I use the light of my phone to illuminate my way there.

His desk was clean and organized. He took almost all of the documents with him but, i could easily access them through his computer. All passwords were chosen by the TI of the station and it made a lot easy to enter his system.

Once i was logged in I made sure to select all the files and copy them, turning the printer on.

My heart was beating fast as I keep looking out of the office through the glass door, hands shaking as the sound of the printer anouced the files where being printed. It was a lot of paper. It took a while but once they were done I made sure to put them in an envelope.

Turning everything off before i make my way to the exit the lights of the office turned on.

I froze in my track. The sound of the door closing behind me, I gulped down as i heard steps.

- yn? - it was Jungkook. A breath of relief leaving my lips.

- Hey… - I turned towards him. He stopped at the door looking confused at me.

- What you doing here? - he asked.

- Oh… Namjoon forgot this and asked me to get it for him - I quickly made up a lie. He looked me up and down, before his face softens.

- That’s very him - he chuckled, walking to his desk.

- Yeah… I’ll get going then - i said , quickly making my way out- don’t work too hard.

- No chance… - he said.

With that I left the office. A sight of relief leaving my lips.

That was close. The phone in my bakc pocket ringed.

“Did you get the info?” it read.

“Got it”

I replied. Making my way out off the station again. Taking my keys with me, my heart still beating fast as i went to the parking lot. I still had to deliver the envelope to him. I would have to come back to Paradise, memories of the last time I went there filling my mind.

Not wanting but still think of him. Would Yoongi be there again?

I decided not think much of it, turning my motorbike on I drove out of the parking lot. Letting the night air fill my lunges as I drove to downtown.

I didn’t have much in my mind anymore. Letting the wind guide me to my destiny, at this point it felt like my life wasn’t mine anymore. I was just another puppet, controlled by those with the real power.

Driving fast It didn’t took me long to get there. The dark streets with questionable people walking around, smoke in the air and the strong smell of cheap alcohol.

The same streets changing into a less and less dark place to something out of the movies, expensive cars everywhere and people wearing design clothes and strong perfume.

I stopped my motorbike in front of the night club getting some looks from the people around as I walked towards the line in the entrance holding the envelope tightly in against my chest. Surely someone like me shouldn’t be here. It didn’t fit. I was still in my working clothes, white bottom up shirt and simple black jeans and a jacket.

The same security guys from last time where there and I gulped down, i wondered if I would have to call the consigliere if they didn’t let me in. Sounds stupid to me, what would I say? Sorry Jack I couldn’t get in ?

Once I stood in front of them I didn’t have time to think of anything else.

- is the Parks girl - one said to the other.

- You may get in miss - he said, making way for me to enter.

Park.

I was completely confused at first but, than the memory came back to me.

As in Park Jimin.

The man that helped me get in Paradise last time, he must be pretty powerful if they didn’t questioned me again.

Once inside the night club I was immediately greeted with a strong smell of aphrodisiac fruity perfume and alcohol as well as cigarette smoke, it all looked the same as last time.

Everyone in here seemed to be in their own world as they drank and smoked, danced against each other’s bodies.

I didn’t came here to party. I came to deliver.

Quickly I made my way to the stairs to get in the second floor, walking around through all this people I held the envelope harder against my chest. Making sure to not make any eye contact with them. Last thing I wanted was to drag attention towards myself.

- darling yn! - said a voice behind me, I recognized immediately.

Too late.

- Mister Park - I turned to him.

Jimin had a lazy smiled on his face as he made his way towards me drunkly. White shirt half opened exposing his chest and tattoos. Just like last time. Once he was in front of me his arms closed around my body as he hugged me tightly before letting go making sure to slide his hands on my back dangerously close to my ass stopping at my hips.

- I’m glad to see you - he said, alcohol on his breath.

- Good to see you too but…- I quickly try to make up a way to leave but he interrupted me.

- Let’s have a drink with me - he invited, face closer to mine - we can have some fun later….

His eyes looked heavy, sweet perfume on his skin. Everything about him was so dreamy i felt like i was on a high every time I was with him, they way he sounded like poison yet so inviting how sickly sweet his words came out of this lips, full and inviting.

He was a seductive man in a way it was so dangerous, it took all in me to stop him from coming any closer.

- Sorry - i whispered, touching his chest with the tip of my fingers pushing him slightly back - I have a job to do…

- Oh… - he said, a pout on his lips then he looked me up and down mischief in his eyes - you’re meeting Agust d right?

- What? - i almost gagged at my on spit, how did he knew?

- I saw you last time.. - he said - you with the mafia? Sexy.

- No no… More like… - i tried to come up with something but, thinking was really difficult when he kept running his hands down my back and looking at me like a sexy god.

- Is alright you don’t have to tell me…. - he sounded like a siren - I know how they can be.

- Yeah… - i nodded, remembering my last encounter with the consigliere.

- Go then… and if you have time - he brushed my hair over my ear - come back to me, I’m sure I can entertain you a lot more than them.

Not noticing I was nodding again as he let go of me, turning back to walk to the third floor.

I quickly made my way back to towards the big stairs that lead to the third floor. There was a big corridor with many doors on the sides, the light here was dim you could only see the numbers on the doors.

I making sure I was at the 13th room quickly. Standing in front of it i wasn’t sure if I should nock or just get in. So i nocked twice before opening the door.

It was nothing like I expected but, a netting room two big black sofas in the middle small coffee table divided them and behind it a big glass wall.

And sitting right there, all proud and confident was Jack. The consigliere sitting in the sofa in front of the glass wall. He didn’t looked at me as he continued to drink his whiskey and just made a signal from me to sit there.

I made my way to the sofa in front of him. Once i was sat I put the envelope over the table, eyes never leaving the brown paper.

No one said a word for a moment.

- I didn’t expect you to get here so fast - he said, finally looking at me and smirked - Min said you’d do a good job that’s why your here.

- Min?… - I questioned.

- Agust d - he stated, getting a box of cigarettes he offered one to me wich I accepted. - he chose you himself.

He leaned over the table holding the fire, i fallowed his move. Cigarette between my lips as he lighted for me, leaning back.

- we’ll continued with this until the investigation is over - he said.

- When will this be? - i asked.

- Min is working on it, don’t worry - he took a sip of the golden drink - as long as you do what we say your brother will be fine.

My brother.

Is for him that I’m doing this.

- you’ll pay his debit - he said, putting his cup down over the table.

- Debit? - I questioned, confused.

- Oh, you didn’t know? He owes us money - he tells me.

- What do you mean by that?! - just what was my brother doing?

- He’s addicted yn… you know what fallows right? - he smirked.

No.

Was this why he was in downtown that night?

He was involved with…. I couldn’t even finish that in my thoughts, but it was clear to me.

— can I go now? - i asked. Putting the cigarette inside his cup.

- what’s the rush? - Jack said - already missing that Park guy?

I looked at him incredulous and scoffed.

- not like if I stay here you’ll give me answers… - I tell him.

- And Park will give you? - he scoffed. I didn’t say anything.

- can i go now? - i asked inpatient.

- Yeah, Min said you can enjoy your time at Paradise - he said smirking - a treat for your good job. Your station is already closed anyway.

Did so much time passed already? I looked at my watch realizing he was right.

- I’ll go than - i said.

- Till next time cop.

I had to bite my tongue. He wouldn’t hesitate to hurt my brother and for that I had to lay low, to protect him. How could I not know he was on drugs? How could I have not noticed?

With everything that happened after mom and dad died I tried so hard to distract myself with my trying at the police academy, not once did I had the time to support my brother.

This was all my fault.

A treat from Agust d.

It felt so bitter. I hated.

As I made my way to exit the thrid floor, seeing all the people around drinking and dancing. Like there was no tomorrow, I envy them. How can you do something bad and still be able to sleep.

“And park will give you?”

Maybe he will.

At least I know he’ll distract me, if even my brother lost himself I could do that too. Just one night.

Let me be free for one night. I need to forget everything for just one night.

I made my way to the third floor, if I want to leave this whole thing with something might as well go and get. I’m tired of yoongi never telling me nothing. I’m tired of putting myself on the line for others, I just need to forget for a while.

Is a treat from his boss isn’t it?

Maybe I’ll have a drink.

The commotion on the thrid floor was much extravagant then the upper ones, from a distance a could see Jimin dancing in one of those stages with another girl doing pole dancing, some throw money at him some gave food on his mouth.

As a woman in bikini was passing with a few drinks in a tray I quickly grabbed one drinking the whole thing in a gulp.

Walking closer to where he was, just how am I supposed to get him to talk like that? He looked so out of it as he moved his body in the most sexy way.

Grabbing another drink without a single care as i drink it in one gulp, I took off my jacket feeling the alcohol warm up my body sitting on one of the seats in front of the stage.

My eyes fallowing his moves from the stage, noticing he found me in a distance as he smiled at me pleased to see I was watching him.

He walked down the stage to my direction, moving like a siren swimming in the ocean. Everyone stoped to look at him.

Eyes locked with mine the entire time, he stopped in front of me.

- so… you finally decided to come to me? - he tells me, sitting beside me.

- You were right - i moved closer to him, whispering in his ear - I got bored… so I hope you can keep me entertained…

I saw how gosepumps fallow up through his skin exposed by the shirt, the two cups of whiskey I drank before were making me confident enough to risk it. I usually I’m not like this but, I’ll use everything I can to forget. Even him.

- what kind of entertainment you want? - he said, tilting his head to the side as he smiled.

- Something… - I started, sliding my finger over his colar bones under his shirt. He closed his eyes leaning his head on my shoulder. - exciting.

- Oh yn you’ll be he death of me… - he said against my neck, then got up holding his hand out for me to take - I’ll give you everything you need.

I took his hand. With that it felt like the final step before I fall into an ocean of darkness, letting it consume me completely. Letting it wash all my shameful acts and betrayals.

I didn’t know if I was ever going back to being who I was, so i just let the sinner guide me.

Jimin took me to the second floor, a table close to the bartenders. He took a bottle of liquor and gave it to me, i took it from him drinking a good amount of it.

Who knows maybe i can enjoy it even.

He smiled taking the bottle from my hands to drink it, a bit spilling of his lips a single drop sliding down his face to his neck. He pushed me closer by the waist giving me a kiss on the check.

- look around yn - he whispered in my ear - all this people come here to forget about their sins… tell me yn, what’s your sin?

What’s my sim?

- My sin… i don’t know - I tell him.

- Than let’s change that…. - he looks at me in the eye - I’ll make you a sinner.

He smirked, pressing the bottle on my hand. I gulped down as i stared into his siren eyes, taking the bottle I drink more of its green liquor. In a second after he’s mouth was over mine. Kissing me hungrily.

I was surprised at first but then forgot completely about everything, he was indeed a siren. My mind was foggy and my body felt so light, my thoughts were completely washed away from me.

I grabbed his neck returning the kiss just as hungrily, his hands sliding down my body as he closed all the distance between us. Groaning over my mouth he slides his lips over my jaw and down my neck, sucking harshly on my skin.

- humm… dance with me yn… - he said against my neck.

I didn’t know why I nodded, why I let him guide me back to the third floor, why I just simply let him do anything he wanted.

We kissed in front of everyone, his shirt was a mess at this point. His soft skin full of scratches from my nails, he would mark all my neck not a single care in our minds.

At one point I tried to drink from the bottle only to find out we drank the whole thing already, he only laughed and pushed me towards where everyone else was dancing.

The loud music was booming, we kept dancing against each other. Hands sliding everywhere, sweat running down my spine, it was so hot.

My mind was so clear, nothing bothered me anymore. It felt like I was free. I felt so free. I didn’t wanted it to end.

A girl gave me her cigarette which I took a blow grabbing Jimins neck to blow the smoke into his mouth, he smirked holding my waist as he bite my lip before kissing me. And kept dancing.

I couldn’t care if my feet hurt. I couldn’t feel anything. It was so realizing to not have that weight over my shoulders.

At some point jimin desapear and I didn’t notice, i starded to search for him around the many people dancing but couldn’t find him anywhere.

My head was starting to feel heavy, I was bumping in everyone as I walked out of the bodies dancing around closer to the exit i bumped into another men.

Almost falling but someone else grabbed me by the arm. Strong smell of cigarettes and cologne hitting my senses, my vision was a little blurry but I could still make that scar. Those sharp eyes.

If looks could kill.

- Yoongi?… - sharp pain in my head I held my head before looking back at him, my body was beginning to feel heavy - oh.,. I feel… sorry…

- Enjoyed your treat? - his voice sounded close but it felt so distant.

- Treat?….

My body felt so heavy as my eyes began to close, I swear I was going to fall but his arms held me against him. My heavy eyes looking straight into his sharp ones, it felt weird.

I should fear him but, I just wanted to be engulfed into his warmth. No one could ever have the effect he had on me.

- Yoongi… - my arms circled around his neck.

- you’re drunk - he said against my lips, i nodded laughing.

He only held me tighter, taking my arms from around his neck. I thought he would carry me bridal style, but a tug like him would never. Silly me.

He simply threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, waking me up completely this time.

- if I throw up in your expensive clothes don’t blame you dick- i say, he then slapped my ass. - ouch!

- Don’t curse, you know I hate it - he simply said as he walked to god knows where, I couldn’t see anything from there.

- Ohh no I’m getting sick - I lied, he just kept walking.

The cold air of the night hitting me like a truck, remembering I forgot my jacket there. Helpless I only sighted.

- I’m bored… - I tell him, but he just ignored me.

The only thing I could see was his expressive shiny shoes and his ass, it was almost bigger then mine. I was so drunk I felt lightheaded.

The only possible reason I could fine to why I did what I did next .

- your ass is big - I blurted out, I heard his loud breathing indicating his impatience. Laughing I slapped his ass back.

At that he brought me down so fast I felt dizzy, he looked angrier than ever at me. Face so close as he pinned me against a car, hands holding my hips tightly almost carving his nails on my skin through my jeans.

He breathed fast, lips on a thin line as he just stared at me, probably thinking how he’s going to end me right now.

But I didn’t care.

All I could think about was how his lips were so close to mine, how his cologne did nothing to help me sober up as I only felt more drunk on him. Of all people him.

His grip on my hips began to soften up as he let go of me, he looked everywhere but me. Licking his lips before finally looking at me, he opened his mouth to say something but stoped eyes looking up and down over me.

- don’t look at me like that - he said, opening the door of the car behind me.

- Like what? - i asked, he then smirked at me one arm over the car beside me completely locking me there. Coming closer to my face.

- Like you want me to fuck you right now… - he whispered on my ear. My checks burned so hard.

I couldn’t say anything else as he pushed me back inside the car, closing the door after. Jack was in the driver seat, he chuckled before driving out of there.

The cold air of the atmosphere was bringing me back to my reality. And I let it all sink into me, still a bit high on the freedom I felt there.

Still drunk on him.

I allowed my body to slide down the car seat and fall asleep.

…

2

days after.

Namjoon was going to have the whole week off. The fact that he was out of the investigation made a lot more easier to get the info about the processes of the investigation goin on, i could go in and out of the office and no one would notice. No one but Consigliere.

Somehow they knew exactly when I would left and when I would go in, they were in a whole higher level. The past cases involving them were giving the station so much stress as they couldn’t get a single hint right.

The past two days I was getting as much info as I could for them, but I wasn’t asked to go to Paradise anymore. Maybe I went too far last time, just the thought of it would make red.

Consigliere would come here every night to get the info.

And tonight it wasn’t any different.

As I was coming back from Namjoons office, walking the corridor to take the info for Jack. My phone started ringing non stop. He could wait, I was already going to give him the info.

Why was he calling like that?

As the ringing continued I stopped to turn off the phone, impatiently as I cursed at him for being like this when i sudden hit my face on a soft wall or something like someone, almost falling back if the person didn’t hold me by the waist.

My eyes staring at his in surprise.

- Namjoon?!

- You don’t look too happy to see me - he said, letting go of me he as he stands with a few documents in hand.

- I don’t… I mean what you doing here?

- I came back earlier- he said, determination in his eyes - you were right yn, I just needed some time off.

- Oh…

- See you then - he said, going in the direction of his office.

I looked at his back blinking confused, he came so quickly. Things would be a lot more difficult now. The phone ringed again.

I simply brushed off, Jack was a pain in the ass. Last thing I wanted was him using my brother to threaten me because I took too long to deliver the info.

Quickly I made my way out of the station, the black Porsche parked right in front of the entrance. Jack stood there over the car, coming towards me as soon as he saw me.

- I called you - he stated anger in his voice.

- I know, Namjoon… - before I could say anything else, he grabbed my arm harshly.

- I don’t think I made myself clear - he spat - if you don’t take my calls your brother is dead meat.

- I know…. - I gulped down. - Namjoon was there.

- What? - he seemed to be connecting the dots.

- That’s why… he came back earlier it seemed he has some new info - i said, he lets go of my arm.

- What ever he has - he took the envelope of my hands - get it before it blows up.

I only nodded as he gave me one last look before going in the Porsche and driving out.

I felt weak in the knees, almost falling down.

He had the most dark aura I’ve even meet, those dark eyes that showed nothing but, death.

Agust d was right when he chose him as his consigliere, no one could put fear in another’s like he did.

After that i decided to clock out.

…

The next day, the whole station seemed to be in a fuss. With Namjoon returning everyone was working a lot more, he made sure everyone was one hundred percent in the investigation. People were walking back and forth in the corridors.

The only focus being the Agust d case.

And for that reason I couldn’t even get close to their office, every time I tried they would call me out on it.

Your just an intern.

This is not you place.

I was so frustrated at that. I thought I could take something out of Namjoon but he too was way too focused on the investigation.

He didn’t came out for lunch. And stayed late at night with his teammates to work on the case. Another two days passed like that.

I didn’t hear a word about Namjoon for this two days. Consigliere was pressing me every day, they wanted to know what was this fuss about. Using my brother to threat me every damn hour, it became the only thing I could think about.

I couldn’t sleep with so much worry in my mind.

I was out in the dark. I couldn’t get anything out of them.

Jack kept pressing me for info but I didn’t have anything.

I was having lunch when he called again.

- nothing yet? - he spat.

- I…

- Your brother is leaving for school… - he said. My body went cold. He was at my house.

- Jack don’t… - he laughed.

- Didn’t I made myself clear? Should i give you inspiration to move!? - he said.

- No, don’t - I said, desperate and anxious - I’ll get the info tonight please….

- Tonight.

With that he ended the call. I felt dizzy. Leaving the place immediately, I went back to the station.

I was desperate. At this point he could do anything to my brother, I couldn’t let it happens not after everything I did to keep him safe.

I decided to stay late at the office, as I watched everyone else leaving hopping Namjoon would be alone until he office by now. He was my only hope, knowing his week spot for me. I felt terrible for using him like that but, I needed to for my brother.

I waited anxiously until all was left at the office was Namjoon and Jungkook.

Quickly making my way to their office.

Stopped in front of it thinking of what to say, but nothing came to my mind. Anxious i nocked on it twice.

It took a while before Jungkook opened.

- hey yn - he said, open just enough of the door to see his face.

- Hey is Namjoon free? - I try to sound as calm as possible.

- No, we busy - he said, closing the door again - bye.

- No, please I really need to talk to him…

He closed the door. I almost punched the door. The phone in my back pocket ringed.

“Anything yet?”

I felt helpless.

so i called him.

- stop pressing me already! - I whispered yelled - I’m trying goddamit!

- say that to your brother - he said, threaten again.

- You-

- Yn? - i turned to see Namjoon standing there, door opened and a worried look on his face.

- Namjoon! - i said out loud so Jack would hear and he immediately turned off the call.

- Is everything alright? - he asked.

- No, I’ve been trying to talk to you for days - I tell him, trying my best to act and lie. I needed the info as soon as possible.

- Sorry yn… it’s just… - he stoped looking around the corridor never at me.

- Exactly, I know you got some hint on this case but, why did you left me out?

- Sorry…. - he pushed me to a hug. - come in, I wanna show you something.

- Okay.

Finally.

As i walked inside the office behind Namjoon, the whole room looked like a big mess. Papers all over the place boxes and coffee mugs.

Jungkook was in front of a white board with pictures and writings all over it, i looked around shocked.

The place was a mess.

- don’t mind the mess - Namjoon said turning to me. At the Jungkook also turned to me.

- She’s not allowed here - he said to Namjoon.

- I know but is yn, i trust her - he said, giving me a smile wich I replied bitterly - you can trust her.

Trust.

The bitter taste under my tongue, I wanted to dig a whole and get inside. But still, I had to wear that mask and lie to him. What would my father think of me? What will Namjoon do when he find out I was the one behind all of it.

- this right here - Namjoon showed me a picture of a man - he used to work at the station, he came to me saying the Min mafia forced him into giving information about the investigation.

I gulped down looking at the picture of the man. Now here I’m, doing exactly what he did.

- he said they have his family that’s why he came to me asking for help - Namjoon turned to look at the board - those rats, all this time threatening one of our guys like that….

- But we got everything about them now thanks to him - Jungkook said - tonight it will be all over.

- Tonight? - I questioned. Namjoon turned to me smiling.

- We set a trap for Agust d - he said. I looked at him immediately - this days we focused on perfect trap for him, thanks to the info he gave us.

- One of our guys is there already waiting for him, he’s playing to be their old mole - Jungkook said - what they don’t know is that we got him locked up at the station.

- Once Agust d gets there our guy will make sure he reacts - Namjoon said, looking at Jungkook ray shared a look of wining - I’ll get him and kill him.

I lost my breath at his words. Namjoon is planing to kill the mafia Min boss, he really is going to do it.

“If something happens to D I’ll kill your brother”

I felt dizzy as the words of the consigliere run through my mind, if their plan works my brother dies.

I need to tell Jack.

- we already have a team there - Namjoon said - we are just getting things done here, once we’re good will go there.

- I see… - i manege to say - well I’m sure you’ll do a good job.

- You telling me this I’m sure I will - he smiled at me.

I’m sorry.

- I won’t take your time than - i said turning to leave.

- Yeah is almost time - Jungkook looked at the clock on the wall.

- Bye yn - he says.

I waved at him, opening the door of the office I leave there quickly trying to call Jack again as I run through the corridors towards the exit but, he doesn’t answer.

I keep calling as i quickly run out of the station, running to the parking lot i go to my motorbike.

When he finally answered.

- didn’t I told you- before he can say anything else.

- Where are you?! - I interrupted.

- What?

- where are you?! I got the info to their plan I need to see you now! - I rushed through my words.

- I’ll send you the location, come fast or I’ll leave before you.

With that he turned off, they were going there to Namjoons trap already. My breath got stuck in my throat a ring suddenly indicating he sended a message. Quickly turned the gps to the location he sended to me.

Turning my motorbike on I drove as fast as I could to the location on the gps, my brothers life was on the line. As much as I loved Namjoon I could let anything happened to my brother, he was the only family I had with all his flaws. My only family. It was my job as his older sister to protect him.

I’m sorry Namjoon, I’ll have to stop you. For my brother.

The location he sended me was almost out of the city, the more and more I drove towards it the less civilized it became.

My mind was racing with thoughts, heart beating so hard on my chest it was painful. I’ll have to carry this weight with me till the end.

Bright lights hit my eye sight and I stoped my motorbike quickly, the sound of motor raging and as my motorbike slided on the ground. The black Porsche stoped abruptly in front of me.

I saw Jack on the drivers seat.

Taking my helmet off I made my way towards the car, behind the Porsche was a big gate, that lead to a mansion but I didn’t give much thought to it.

Jack came out of the car towards me anger on his face.

- you better..

- it’s a trap. - i interrupted him. He looked at me confused - Namjoon knows everything, they have your old mole in the station and he gave Namjoon all the info about you guys. He made a trap to get Agust d.

After that was silence. Jack looked at me up and down, turning to the car. The door of the car opened. As someone else walked out of it.

- why would I believe you? - it was Yoongi, what was he doing here?

- Are you kidding me!? - I tell him, making my way to him before Jack could stop me - you think I would run to here, almost get caught by Namjoon, have my brothers life on the line just to lie to you!?

I stood in front of him, I was so pissed as i stared into his eyes. He looked at me for a good amount of time, neutral expression on his face unbothered by my rage.

I really wish I read his mind, know what was he thinking but he was the biggest mystery I’ve ever meet.

- she’s coming with us - Yoongi said to Jack, taking my arm to enter the car with him.

He pushed me inside the car getting in right after.

- Are you sure? - Jack said already in the Porsche.

- She’s been pretty useful - Yoongi said.

I scoffed not looking at him.

Jack drove fast hitting the gas pedal hard, I held on tight to the car seat. Not for fear of the swords but feather of how things would turn out once we are there, will Namjoon be there already?

Why did Yoongi needed me there for?

Once the car began to slow down I looked around through the window, Jack stoped the car in an abandoned construction site, there was a fire goin on in the middle of the empty site and a black car parked on the other side of it in front of the car was a man standing there with a hat on his head.

“One of our man is already there”

My body went cold. It was all set up already exactly how Namjoon said.

- I’ll go there - Yoongi said. - make sure she stays here quiet.

- Yes - Jack gave him a nod.

I looked at them incredulous.

- Didn’t you hear what I said!? - I say. Holding Yoongis arm.

- I did. - he looked at me, opening the door and getting out of he Porsche.

I watched as he walked to the man standing there, stopping a few meters away. The fire separating them. I couldn’t hear what the they were talking about but, I notice when Yoongi chuckled.

Jack seemed too focuse on Yoongi to realize what was happening, he didn’t know. They didn’t listen to me. He problems thought Yoongi could handle that, just like I would after seeing him take four guys down with only his hands.

“I’ll be there right after” was what Namjoon said.

That was exactly what Namjoon wanted, a reaction.

One move from him to take him down for good.

Take him down for good.

Him.

Yoongi.

My heart beating so fast in my chest. I was too busy trying to save my brother not once did it cross my mind.

How Yoongi was everywhere. At any time i was supposed to deliver info to Jack, he was at Paradise every time I went there. How he would warn me about keeping my distance. How he always carried himself.

He was the one making a deal with chief, he was at the directors house, he was at every crime scene.

How Jack obeyed his commands. How did I not notice once. Everything seemed to fall right into its place now, i could see it clearly. Feeling stupid at how long it took my to realize.

Yoongi was Agust d. And Namjoon was going to kill him.

- he’s going to kill him - i tell Jack, he loooked at me through the mirror.

- What?

My eyes lock into his, thinking of my brother. If Yoongi dies so will my brother. Why wasn’t he doing anything?

My heart racing as I look around the car, only to find Jacks pistol on the seat beside him. Looking up to Yoongi I see the men in front of him held up a gun.

Just one reaction of him to kill him.

I let my feeling take over me as I take my last step towards what would be my end, the cold feeling of the metal of the pistol in my hand. My heart racing so fast it pained my chest, my helpless self trying to save my brother.

Two seconds I was out of the car, walking towards Yoongi. Jack fallowing behind me but i was too late to stop me.

I wouldn’t let him hurt my brother.

Even if I had to betray Namjoon. Even if I lose him too.

With shaking hands I held the pistol high. Standing behind Yoongi. The men in front of him in my sight.

I took a deep breath pulling the trigger. My mind a mess and the only sound I heard before was the fire burning there.

Then the loud shooting of the pistol being fired filled my ears.

One.

Bang.

Two.

Bang.

Next?

Note: sorry for any grammatical mistelas hehe ☺️💖🤭

Taglist: @missmin @whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe @catlove83 @taegicity @ginger-coffee-addict @rosquilleta @tarahardcore @liveyun @manuosorio @thvlover 7 @4ukiyo4 @passionandsuga @missroro @btspurplesky @crystallizedtime @i-am-invisible-for-you @celticcountrygal @dancerninjastudent-blog @fairywriter-oracle @m4gg13-g @alexxa013 @unadulteratedlyunique @kpopmultistantrashsstuff @anaspectoflife @younhakim29 @slinekyu @nochookiee @strxwbloody @yoongislatinagff @pandafuriosa60 @nattjuless @cuntessaiii @fatmaortiz @kimsonlyluv @wobblewobble822 @be0mluver @sukonsukuna

[icycoldninja]

Headcanons for the Sparda boys and V with a s/o that got turned into a demon? (As for how: My best guess is something like the Ascension ceremony from DMC4.)

Reader shows up to the Devil May Cry one day after healing from a cooking related injury (burned hand, knife slipped and cut them, whatever), because they were kinda hoping the people at Devil May Cry could help. They'd probably be hesitant to tell anyone they're a demon right out- if that's even what they are, because they're not really sure themselves- but the lads could probably piece it together. Or just sense/smell the other demon nearby. Reader probably just thinks the shop and the shop employees stink, but if trying to be polite about it.

Not sure if humans/human blood would smell tasty to a new demon, but maybe? If so, that's another horrifying change they'd have to deal with and ask for help on.

Very interesting concept, hope I did it justice. Enjoy!

Sparda boys + V X Demon!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Your transformation was relatively recent, but terrifying. You'd managed to keep it a secret from everyone since the day you discovered your sudden change, but coping on your own was hard.

-You were constantly anxious about hurting the others unexpectedly, as demons are known to do, and couldn't concentrate on most of your tasks.

-You ended up burning your hand on the stove one night while trying to heat up some dinner, and in your panic, decided to head to Devil May Cry to see if someone could help you.

-At the same time, you hoped someone would notice your situation and help you out, though how could they? You had no physical changes, just internal ones.

-When you set foot into Devil May Cry, your heightened sense of smell caught the scent of something oddly appealing. You had no idea what it was, or why it smelled so good, but it did, and following the scent led you to the staff.

-The girls didn't think anything of it and assumed you were just disoriented because of your burn, but the boys--Dante specifically, noticed your behavior and thought it was weird that you were behaving the same way as demons did when they were tracking their prey.

-After your burn was dressed, he pulled you aside to ask you if anything was wrong. The concern in his eyes as well as the unusually grim timbre of his voice proved that he knew something was wrong. There was no other choice than to come clean.

-And so you revealed your secret, explaining how you'd been forced to take part in some sort of dark ritual whose side effects manifested days later. You broke down in tears, sobbing over your changed state, expressing your worries that you'd never be able to turn back.

-Dante took your hands and pulled you into his chest, pressing kisses to your head as he assured you everything would be fine. He'd help you find a cure, no matter what it took.

-He told you that no matter what you turned into, he'd still love you, and he'd be more than happy to offer up some of his blood if you need to feed, as some species of demons do.

■ Vergil ■

-The day you noticed your transformation, which came in the form of scales breaking out all over your body, as well as sharp fangs that replaced several of your teeth.

-You tried to hide it, but Vergil was a very observant man. He knew something was wrong, but chose not to say anything because he wanted you to come to him on his own. Also, there was a chance it was just you being moody, in which case, he didn't want to get involved.

-Your scales soon spread to your hands, making it hard for you to feel things with your palms and fingers. This made chopping food with knives very difficult because you couldn't feel the knife or the food in your hands.

-At one point the knife slipped, cutting the back of your hand. Swearing like a sailor, you bundled your hand up in a rag and stumbled off to Devil May Cry for someone to heal the injury.

-The moment you got there, you smelled something awful. It was worse than rotting food; it was beyond putrid. Just what was that smell?!

-Then you walked into the kitchen, where everyone was gathered at the time, and the smell got worse. It quickly became apparent that the smell was coming from the staff.

-While the girls helped fix up your wound, you did your best to keep your disgust from being expressed upon your face. Despite your best efforts, Vergil noticed that something was definitely wrong with you.

-He approached you, hoping to inquire about your strange behavior, but the proximity between the two of you resulted in the horrible smell getting worse, untill it was too much to bear.

-You started coughing and gagging, your hands flying up to clutch your throat. When Vergil saw the scales on your hands, he instantly realized what was wrong with you.

-He immediately stepped back into the next room and spoke to you from afar. You confessed, begrudgingly, that you'd been turned into a demon somehow and that you were able to smell human blood, which was disgusting. You expressed your fear and discomfort, to which Vergil assured you he would find a cure.

-In the meantime, your task would be figuring out how to grow accustomed to your demonic sense of smell--and the stinkiness of human blood.

□ Nero □

-Nero was actually present when you turned during the ceremony, and therefore was more involved when the aftershocks began to surface.

-You grew a tail, your eyes changed color, and your pupils dilated to slits. You also became noticeably more hungry for raw meat.

-Nero started to freak out over your erratic behavior and was very reluctant to leave you alone, but you insisted, and so he complied.

-Unfortunately, Nero's fears became more justified after he learned you tried to grab a steak off a steaming hot frying pan, burning your whole hand in the process.

-When you reached Devil May Cry to ask him to patch up your burnt hand, you smelled the unmistakable, extremely appetizing scent of human blood.

-Had Nero not been physically holding you back, you might have leaped forward and tried to devour everyone in the shop.

-After tying you down to a chair and dressing your burns, Nero made a vow to search for a cure for you as soon as possible--before the transformation got any worse and turned you into a full on, bloodthirsty demon.

-He would be gone for a long, long time, leading you to lock yourself inside your own home and give Nero the only key so you couldn't break out and wreak havoc while he was away.

-The next few months, or maybe years, would be trying times, but the both of you were strong--you'd get through this, no doubt about it.

● V ●

-When you noticed your transformation, it was already too late. You suffered from violent muscle spasms, headaches, and pain in your joints as a result of the dramatic changes your body was undergoing.

-You never reached out to anyone, especially V, because you had no idea what was happening to you.

-You were afraid, and feared dragging anyone else, including your beloved, into your problems.

-Sadly, your body had other plans. It decided to force you to undergo a seizure in the middle of your kitchen, during which you temporarily sprouted an extra limb. All the flailing and trashing you were doing caused you to bash several of your body parts against the counteracts, hard.

-By the time the seizure was over, you were throughly and entirely bruised.

-Casting aside your pride, you dragged yourself to Devil May Cry to reluctantly ask someone to bandage your aching limbs.

-It was there where you ran into V, who noticed your bruises and exhausted appearance, which made him worry. He pulled you aside, pressed ice packs to your aching bones, and gently requested you tell him what was wrong.

-It took a lot of convincing, but V managed to get you to confess your issues. You explained how something was making your body change, and with teary eyes, described the pain you went through because of it.

-V had no idea why this was happening to you, but he was sure you two would figure things out together. The first step was to deduce what was afflicting you, then, to find the cure.

[oliviascully]

Ok here are some thoughts after the IWTV season finale pertaining to Armand/Daniel for all my fellow Devil’s Minion stans.

I have conflicted feelings. It was very exciting to see Daniel turned and know that Armand made him. That being said, it also caught me off guard that this happened so quickly. In both book and show, it is a big deal that Armand has never made a fledgling.

Obviously we didn’t see the turning yet and don’t know the true context, and it is a plot point in the show that now irrevocably ties Armand and Daniel for future development. So in that sense, I am happy.

I just sincerely hope that they are written as having a past relationship after their first meeting in 1973. And not just because I want more DM content or that I’m not happy with a version with old Daniel (full supporter of old man yaoi). I just think it would be a sorely missed opportunity for them not to have past involvement.

Is it interesting for Armand to have met Daniel once in 1973, try to kill him, and then meet him again in 2022, have his relationship ruined by Daniel, and then turn him “out of spite?” Idk, seems weird and not very satisfying.

I know there will be more than that, and I’m over-simplifying things. But I think it would be so sooo much more narratively satisfying for Daniel to loathe Armand and think he has him all figured out only to learn that he loved him once, and that he does know Armand, even more than he thought.

It would be a great arc for Daniel. Him being turned in and of itself is not enough. I want to see his world rocked (lovingly) and realize he’s as much a part of the fucked up, gothic romance as all the others. I want to see Armand have a genuine relationship that challenges and confronts him, and maybe he wasn’t truly ready for it in the past, but he might be now.

Also, I truly can’t believe that all the heated and weirdly charged interactions between Daniel and Armand, even as Rashid, were for nothing and based on nothing. All the glances and fighting/flirting and Armand knowing how “Alice” felt and knowing how to make Daniel’s martinis and why why whyyyy would Daniel feel freer to hold Alice’s hand in Paris????

Anyways this is just my plea of saying that I hope that wasn’t for nothing and that we get to see these two have the weirdest most fucked up and somehow romantic relationship PAST and present not just because it’s canon but because it seems like the groundwork is there in the show, and it would be an amazing storyline to see play out for both characters to develop. And I am so inrigued by the chemistry between Armand and both versions of Daniel. The actors are incredible together, and I genuinely want to see more of both.

[patchworkfox01]

So I was just thinking about this early image of Limbus' chapter select and how Faust's chapter is last which, don't get me wrong, does make sense. She seems to be the most important to the overall story.

BUT. Something did hit me while thinking about it. In Faust's EGO, the room is white

Like. Entirely white. We see in Canto 4 and Leviathan that N. Corp's buildings are ALSO almost entirely white. This got me thinking.

What if Faust's equivalent to a "Deal with the Devil" is a deal she made with N. Corp to gain the knowledge to make Mephistophiles, and Faust's chapter will involve us finding out what her side of the deal was, and perhaps even betraying us. This could perhaps even come with a reveal that Faust, and Limbus as a whole, doesn't have a way to bring Garnet back. Who knows how that may go.

I know this doesn't add much BUT

Both Lobotomy Corp and Library of Ruina [spoilers for those that haven't played] end with important characters betraying us. [Angela and Roland respectfully].

[vitaminseetarot]

Quick General Advice for Your Situation (PAC)

One thing I want to mention is that all three piles had earthy palette cards with something spicy on the back of each pile's deck. This could have been the influence of Moon in Taurus as the lunar nodes are beginning to switch over to Aries. I'm sending frustration with all three piles but also a lot of passion and motivation.

Pick which earthy palette color you prefer for some quick guidance.

(piles 1, 2, 3 - images from pexels.com)

Spring Grass: XV Devil, Page of Swords, III Empress (Back: 3 of Wands)

The energy you're building up is leading you to seek out or attract new opportunities to travel to places you haven't experienced before. I'm sensing a strong draw towards what's new at this time, so it could be literal travel or you're seeking out a new experience overall. This could be a radical change from what you're used to. If you feel you're not in any position to travel soon, this may still be your pile, so hang on! Don't feel stuck! I'm letting you know now that plans can change quickly and spawn out of nowhere just as quickly. Your advice is to be in a state of expansion and open mindedness. Although 3 of wands is Aries energy, you're being asked to step into more Sagittarian energy of enthusiasm for adventure and optimism for brighter times. There might be a long period of time where this traveling doesn't happen even when you finally get itchy for it. That's because you need to sit down and do some planning. Make an itinerary, even for a fake trip. Look up photos, have conversations with people about it. Get in the mindset for it. Yes, it's possible to experience the impossible. But you have to be in a state of preparedness for it. Get your basic needs in working order so that when the opportunity does arrive, you'll be more than ready for it, inside and out.

Pink Quartz: Hermit, XIII Death, XVIII Moon (Back: 5 of Wands)

Even though you feel motivated enough to move forward, there's still tiny threads trying to pull you back into overthinking things. It can feel like you're busy when in reality your plans go nowhere because they're dead on arrival. It's one thing to be sparked by an idea, it's another to put it to print without losing what made you want to do it to begin with. I'm seeing an image of somebody sitting hunched over at their bench, writing down one sentence on a sheet of paper before crumpling it and starting again. This isn't a healthy mentality as you're not giving you and your imagination a chance. Your advice to be kinder to yourself by giving your inner vision more space to breathe. Being in stillness and sitting back with a blank canvas is part of the creation process and is in the end more productive than deleting the first page of your book over and over again. You have all three cards as major arcana, so learning this lesson will prove to be monumental to your life's overall progress.

Stone Brown: IV Emperor, III Empress, 7 of Swords (Back: 7 of Wands)

I think this pile is definitely experienced when it comes to making big plans and carrying them through. It seems the one thing that motivates you most is the feeling of "this has to be done, whether or not I like it." You put on a strict poker face only to fall apart as soon as no one's looking. Please let me tell you, pile 3, that you do not always have to be strong for everyone else. It's beautiful for you to see yourself as an important part of what makes life work, that your skills and patience are needed and appreciated. But all the praise in the world won't make up for that hollow feeling of coming home and realizing that you have to be strong for yourself, too. Your advice is similar to pile 2. You need to greatly soften your approach. Allow other people to pick up the pace and help you every now and then. Especially if there are many moving parts and you get into "octopus mode" of needing to be involved in all the cogs of the wheel. It shouldn't always be equal work, going out and dealing with people, then dealing with yourself. When you need time for yourself, take the chance. Ground yourself through nurturing and soothing habits at home, something that lets you take off the "big boss" mask for a while.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana HCs: How the M6 get sick

Julian

Let's be honest, self care is an entirely foreign concept to him

And for the last three years, he hasn't needed as much of it due to his healing gift

Which is why, in the weeks after the masquerade, he unwittingly and completely runs his body into the ground

You're not that surprised when you come home to him swaying in the middle of the kitchen, coffee pot clutched in one shaking hand, running a fever

"Ah, MC, you're home! Would you be a darling and summon some of that fire magic for me, it's a bit chilly-"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence because you're prying the coffee from his death grip and bullying him into bed

He's very confused when you tuck him in and leave the room instead of joining him

But now that he's lying down he can feel how much he's struggling to get warm, and how much his thoat hurts, and how dry his mouth is, and how ferociously empty his stomach is

Once he sees you reappear with a thermometer and a flask of water, it finally clicks

He's sick. What do you mean he's sick, he can't get sick - Oh yeah, he guesses now he can again

As weird as it is for him to be so low on energy and docile, he is fully on board with you nursing him back to health

Jokingly calls you "Dr MC"

Will not hesitate to critique your professionalism

He's trying really hard to make you laugh and play it off like it's not a big deal, but his smile is forced when he's gripping your hand

He remembers the plague, he remembers what sickness can mean, and he knows his own infection never ran its course, even if there's no reason for it to come back

You can tell that he's terrified and you'll have to talk it out with him

You reassure him that he's safe, the two of you beat the devil himself together, as long as you've got each other things will work out

You're just relieved to see him eating and hydrating and sleeping

You know he's doing better when he starts dramatizing his symptoms and demanding either leeches or affection as medicine

From now on he's more mindful of not having his mark anymore and the importance of half decent self care

Asra

They're not stupid, they have plenty of common sense, they just have a weakness for unusual foods

Especially foods he's never encountered before

Did they know that eating from a shady food stall they'd never seen before is highly inadvisable? Yes

Was he able to identify any of the ingredients or smells involved with the food? No

Were there any other customers at said stall during the hour and a half that they were wandering around the marketplace? No

Are all of these factors the main reasons he decided he absolutely had to try it? Obviously, duh

Food poisoning is never fun, even for the slyest of magicians

They come back to the shop after an afternoon of errands, arms and satchel full of groceries

He gives you the biggest smile when he lays eyes on you, but you notice there's an unusual tightness around his eyes

First there's the sheen of sweat on their face that they keep trying to wipe away, and then the slight tremor in their arms as you're closing up the shop for the evening

You confront him when his gut starts trying to imitate whale mating calls and he admits to having a slight tummy ache

They keep telling you not to worry until the nausea hits them and you're scrambling to get them over a toilet or a basin or *something*

"Asra, what did you eat?"

He doesn't answer you, not because he doesn't want to, but because he doesn't know

And also because, well, the nausea is ongoing and they are suffering

You love him and you don't like seeing him in pain, so you're pulling his hair out of his face and rubbing his back and propping him up

Eventually the nausea fades and you can get them to drink some water, but then the next phase of food poisoning kicks in and they're glued to the toilet seat, producing the most lethal odors

He'll be so embarrassed you had to see and smell him like this later, but right now he's tired and weak and your hands are so cool and soothing on his feverish face

You're going to be up with them through the night until they finally fall asleep as the sun is rising

You had a scathing lecture planned for him when he woke up but you can't stay mad when he's so apologetic and embarrassed

They have a new guideline now: "If I wouldn't feed it to MC, I probably shouldn't feed it to myself."

Nadia

She doesn't get nearly as many headaches as she used to now that her undead ex-husband has been dealt with, but they still happen sometimes

You've heard stories from Portia about how bad they used to get, but this is your first time seeing it for yourself

She had tried to power through it while you were out that morning, but you were rushing back to the palace as fast as your legs could carry you when Chandra brought news that she had fainted

By the time you got back she had regained consciousness, but she was still in her chambers and everyone was unusually hushed

When you walked in the room was dark, the normal perfume in the air was muted, and she was lying stiffly in the middle of her bed

It was very strange to see her smile at you without speaking

As soon as you were within arm's reach you were quickly reminded that she was in fact the baby of her family growing up

She finds your presence soothing, what can she say

She's not letting you leave her side

You're stuck now

Anyone else who dares enter her chambers receives a death glare

Your new job is to act as a liason between her and everything outside her room

You watch for the shadows of feet in the crack of light under her door and slip away to collect her meal or request some water or answer a pressing question

Every time you return you find her sulking (she will deny this later) because you left without her permission

She will only eat if you feed her. She will only drink if you're cradling her head. She will only take the painkillers if you give her a kiss.

It's slightly heartbreaking because you can't imagine the amount of pain that would cause her to act like this

But the most beautiful woman in the world is pressing your hand to her lips and whispering how much she loves you and insisting you have a taste of her sorbet so you can't really complain

Once she's feeling better she insists on rewarding you in whatever way you desire, but she also makes it clear that you are not to share anything about her behavior to her family

Muriel

You've never seen him get sick, you're pretty sure his stomach and immune system are made of steel

He's also highly skilled at ignoring his physical needs

That's really what did him in, he kept getting symptoms and ignoring them, thereby making the problem worse

Sore throat? He's fine. Headache? He's okay. Subtle desire to wear another layer of clothing? He never gets cold, what are you talking about. Dizziness? No, the ground has always been wobbly like that -

You know you won't be able to catch him if he falls and he can tell you're getting upset, so he agrees to lie down, just for a little bit

He doesn't get up again for a while

His instinct when he realizes he's sick is to handle it the way he always has in the past, which is to hunker down where he's the most invisible and dissociate while he waits it out

Except now somebody's tapping his shoulder and pulling the covers off of his face and trying to get him to eat and he's feverish so he doesn't want to

You had forgotten just how grouchy he could be

You're getting flashbacks to what he was like when you first met

But hey, you stubbornly loved it out of him once, you can stubbornly love it out of him again

"I brought you some water, Muriel." *Grunt*

"You need to stay hydrated." *Angry grunt*

"That wasn't a suggestion, Muriel." *Death glare*

You pile furs and blankets over him and send Inanna with a note to get medicine from your shop

As he recovers he's able to open up a bit about what it meant to get sick as an orphan by the docks, and how that was a signal for others to take advantage of one's weakness

It explains his hostility towards anybody approaching him or acknowledging his condition, but he stills feels awful about it

Once he's back to normal he shows more affection than before because he knows you won't take advantage of him

What really made him the most grateful was finding out that you fed the chickens for him

Portia

She gets sick about as often as any normal person gets sick, but that doesn't mean she's okay with it

There is a dark side to living in service to other people, and that is when it becomes the thing you base your value off of

Long story short, she has workaholic tendencies and she indulges them too much when she's feeling low

Which makes her tired, which makes her feel worse, which makes her work harder, which makes her more tired, etc etc

You've seen this vicious cycle show up once or twice on ambassador trips and you've been able to pull her out of it by clearing her schedule for the day and showering her with affection and affirmation

But this time she was home, in Vesuvia, and you had to go on a trip to gather some supplies, and she had to stay and host some visiting dignitaries

And then she missed you, so she worked harder to distract herself, and ran herself into the ground

You came back to an unusually messy cottage and a sleep-deprived, feverish Portia

It wasn't very hard to figure out what happened

It was very hard to convince her to rest

You had to wrangle her into bed and convince Pepi to fall asleep on her so she wouldn't try to move

You brought her some soup and herbal tea and set to work cleaning the cottage and clearing her schedule for the week

When you walked back to check on her she was fighting to stay awake, on the verge of tears because she was so stressed and burnt out

You had to lie down next to her and tell her three times that everything was taken care of before she could fall asleep

Once she woke up and her fever broke and she had eaten and rehydrated you got her to rant about why she was stressed and then you had to force feed her soup and self affirmation

You got Ilya to come pay her a doctor's visit to get your point across

Now when either of you has to go on trips without the other, you leave her notes with affirming words all over her things so she can't go through a day without being reminded of how loved she is

Lucio

If there's one thing you can credit Morga for, it's Lucio's impressive physical endurance. His immune system is almost on par with Muriel's

Really the only time he's been seriously ill was when he was dying of the Red Plague, and that had nothing to do with physical strength

So you never really worry about him getting sick, he's Lucio, he's resilient like that

But you do worry about his recklessness sometimes, especially when it borders on stupidity

You had taken a gig back in the ancient forest to hunt down a lost relic, and you had been warned multiple times about the effects of certain plants in the area

Nothing to be too worried about really, they were even safe to touch as long as you didn't get any of their sap on you, and it wasn't deadly or anything

It was just something worth avoiding, because the effects were akin to a nasty 24 hour virus and you didn't want anything slowing you down

He did not understand the assignment

He hacked through them with his sword to make a "shortcut" and covered himself in sap

Now you're *slightly* lost in the deep woods, with an increasingly miserable ex-mercenary and no sign of human life in sight

He's panicking, last time he got sick he almost died and spent three years as a ghostly goatman, he doesn't want to do that again MC!

You snap him out of his panic by dunking him into the nearest stream (to wash off the sap so you don't get sick too, obviously) and explaining that he'll be ill for 24 hours and then he'll be fine

He's not worried anymore, but he's not used to being sick either, and he only tolerates glamorous discomfort

He is going to whine and complain without ceasing

You do your best, you wrap him up in all your blankets and set him up next to a roaring fire, you keep a cool handkerchief on his forehead, you keep him hydrated and forage enough to make him a hearty herb and jerky stew

For all of the very real discomfort he's in, he shows you nothing but gratitude, and that's how you know he won't be turning back into a goatman any time soon

[scoobydoodean]

I think people tend to view Dean as more unhinged about Sam because Sam seems to be the one shown consistently "fine" living without Dean. Like S8 Sam and series finale Sam. Like not trying to get Dean back. Whereas in S6 Dean said he tried to get Sam out of the Cage but kept hitting dead ends. But he didn't just let Sam go like he said he would. Sam seems to be less hesitant to just let Sam go and more able to live on without Dean. Idk what are your thoughts on this?

Context

The thing is is that I don't feel the need to respond to the notion that being willing to sacrifice yourself for your brother is more unhinged than killing people to keep him alive or get him back or get revenge on his behalf. Because I don't think that's true at all. All that difference reflects is Sam's willingness to go to morally questionable lengths beyond where Dean will go. Dean's moral compass will cause him to hit a point where his only option is self-sacrifice long before Sam ever hits that wall.

That said... some of what you've said is extremely misleading.

Between season 3 and 4, Sam ignored Bobby's calls and spent months in a bottle stumbling drunk, drinking hard liquor straight from a bottle. He captured a crossroad's demon and tried to trade his life for Dean's (Gifset), and tried to open The Devil's gate (Gifset). He at one point planned to charge into battle against Lilith knowing he would lose and die—it's an intentional suicide mission (4.09). He also readily rejects Dean's dying wishes by working with Ruby for revenge against Lilith (Gifset).

Contrast this with season 6: Dean researched how to get Sam out of The Cage—in books--on the side while living with Lisa and Ben, without risking his own life or anyone else's, and without trying to make any demon deals or do anything else reckless, and while managing PTSD.

Which of these people actually sounds more "fine"? Because there's an objectively correct answer here and it's not Sam.

Season 8 Sam is an exception—not the rule. What we're looking at is not character growth (we need no more proof of that than season 10 and The Book of the Damned). The Reason Sam Is Like That™️ is because he's experiencing a break from reality.

As for 15.20 Sam, we have no idea if Sam tried to find a way to bring Dean back. SPNWin might actually suggest Sam has been trying to get Dean back the entire time Dean's been dead (depending on whether you think "Clarence" is an obvious Cas reference, whether the brother relationship makes it clear he's Sam, or whether he's both). Regardless, at that point we are dealing with a Sam who has maxxed out his knowledge about the pitfalls encountered when you try to bring back your family (this includes Jack). This makes him generally less reckless because he vividly understands the consequences. We see the same thing with Dean as early as season 6, and again in 13.21, when he thinks Sam has been torn apart and is convinced to leave Sam behind and prioritize the safety of the people around him instead.

Additionally, a lot of the less versus more reckless plays the brothers make with their own lives have to do with how badly they might be struggling with suicidal ideation at one point or another. This is a massive motivator for Dean's deal in 2.22 for example. His actions aren't just about Sam—they're also about his belief that he "came back wrong" and shouldn't be alive, and that dying will set the universe right. Literally the entire season he is struggling with the intense guilt and a sense of wrongness over being alive.

So yeah. One time, Sam abandoned Dean to die. At other times, he came up with plans that involved sacrificing himself, or other people, or dedicated himself to revenge to the exclusion of all else.

[rosettyller]

some thoughts on what is going on in tmagp so far

What is “the Protocol”?

So far, we know of 4 instances of the Protocol being carried out. They are:

The Great Fire of London* (1666)

Burning down of Isaac Newton's lab (1684)

Burning down of Magnus Institute (1999)

Burning down of Hilltop Centre* (2016)

*Not explicitly stated but pretty clear that's the message we're supposed to take away

Now, these all have fire in common. Likely that this is just because fire is a very effective way of destroying things. However, fire is also one of the four basic elements in alchemy, associated with the humour yellow bile, and rising energy, and with aspiring to reach the divine above.

Sam states that Starkwall burned down the MI; from this we can conclude they were the security people who burned down the Hilltop Centre. We know they were at one point affiliated with the OIAR, but this ended after the MI burned down. Because they shouldn't have burned it down? Because they weren't secretive enough?

I think the main question now is, What is the purpose of the Protocol?

Robert Hooke states it's for safety, but this also interests me:

“children of Adam” I assume is humans -> transforming people - almost like avatars? transformation is certainly a recurring theme at the moment.

But from around the 17th century, alchemy was beginning to decline, and not be looked on as well - not “Good Science”.

So the Protocol is likely stopping something to do with alchemy - and Newton was creating the Philosopher's Tree, a precursor to the Philosopher's Stone.

However, it being specifically the Philosopher's Stone doesn't tie into the others.

This quote implies the burning was in response to the Plague. The fire burned down about 80% of the city, and did actually benefit the city quite a bit; there were very few deaths from the fire itself, although many people died from lack of shelter in the winter; it cleared out yucky-plagued stuff, and allowed for rebuilding from a clean slate - the area of central London it burnt down had houses very closely packed together. A comet in 1664 had beeen taken as an omen of doom, and then in 1665 the Plague hit particularly hard. Then 1666 - the devil's number.

Perhaps here, the Plague had a human/avatar origin. Something similar to the Corruption?

continued under the cut

Now, there's nothing really explicitly linking to alchemy in the Hilltop Centre, although all those items were certainly being brought there for a purpose. If they were trying to achieve something like a ritual, then that would be similar, making sense for Starkwall to go after them.

Then we have the Magnus Institute.

It's interesting that only the main facility in Manchester was burnt down; perhaps the project that caused the enactment of the Protocol was focused there.

The statement about the dice was given to the Manchester facility; the subject/agent/catalyst is common to all magnus statements, but the referral implies catalytics isn't at Manchester? Meaning Subject or Agent-focused stuff is?

Alice also mentions some of the old people at the OIAR mentioning the Protocol; this implies that the OIAR were somehow involved in the MI being burnt down, not Starkwall going off on their own.

Darrien's statement also gives us some interesting info. He was a candidate - candidate for subject/agent perhaps?? "Mutare Materia" implies they were looking into parallel universes & perhaps travel between them; Welling may refer to the Welling in London - maybe they had a facility there? However it seems to imply they're just keeping Darrien where he is (at the Oxford Outreach Centre) so at least some of this project must be based there.

What's the deal with the Entities?

So in contrast to the original universe (U1), this universe seems to have entities of positive and negative emotions, but they seem to function the same way as the Fears. I don't think they are (all) new to this universe; Lena speaks like they're not new, and Ink5oul has been becoming an avatar since at least 2020; the voices started in 2023, and if we assume that was Jon, Martin, the Fears and possibly Jonah entering this universe, then there must already have been some. She also mentions balance.

Which is interesting given what Colin's said. In alchemy, sulphur is associated with the soul, mercury with the mind. Alchemy is also all about balance, and incorporating the base elements in the correct proportions.

I suppose that links into emotions - they all have a reason. Even emotions like fear - they stop you doing stupid things (sometimes). Anxiety leads you to properly prepare for something. etc. But you can't have too much of any one emotion. (And also, human beings are complex. We can feel lots of different emotions at the same time.)

And now, with the addition of fifteen Fear entities, all this is out of balance.

What were the Magnus Institute doing?

I touched on this above, however, there's still a lot more they were doing that we have absolutely no idea about. They had Sam and Gerry there - for what? If they're doing something with the entities, and these entities are emotion-based, it's interesting that they're testing empathy. And that Sam (98% empathy) and Gerry (95%) both weren't what they wanted.

Also - Connor Dyer was there. Is that why Alice seems to know so much, and be trying to ignore it so hard?

Are Chester and Norris Jon and Martin?

...and does this universe have another Jon and Martin too? And if not Jonah, who is Augustus?

It has to be them, in some form. It can't just be this universe's jonmartin needed some money so did some recording as text-speech thingys. It would be mean, if that was all it was. Chester seems to be gaining power and responding to characters. Why was Augustus so much rarer than the other two? Why does Chester keep pointing towards the MI? Because he's Jon and he used to work there in other other universe and knows what it is, or because he knows something about this universe's MI? Why doesn't the OIAR get more MI statements, if they're basically doing the same thing?

and why did Celia get brought through? and what happened to georgie? (i'll probably make another post, i have more thoughts.)