#there is a whole backstory behind it i swear it

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

I did this silly doodle for an amazing tr collab I participated last month. But today I decided to put some color on it (pink, that was the color, obviously ✨), so...

TA-DAAAAA!

Watch my non-existent drawn abilities!

(he looks so happy tho, I'm kinda proud of this one, ngl 🙈)

[jihyoruri]

❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ GIRL, SO CONFUSING kim chaewon x reader

❀ ͘ ⴰ previous chapters | richgirl ⭢ that girl (she’s delicious) ⭢ idon’t smoke ⭢ pretty when you cry ⭢ homesick ⭢ super rich kids

↳ warnings richgirl!yn, angst (yn is still at home), family dynamics, rich kid things, swearing, chaewon is still chaewon, arguing, guilt lots of it, backstory’s, chaewon being an instigator, not from yn’s perspective this time, mentions of ed & weight

what just happened?

the only words running through yunjin’s mind. she couldn’t keep her eyes off yn, who was trying her best to look fine, but yunjin saw right through it. had yn always looked like this?

she trailed behind the rest of the girls as they walked off the field toward the car yn had called for them.

the entire interaction between yn and her mother replayed in her mind like a broken record. she had never seen yn so tense before, yn was always so carefree, like nothing could ruin her mood. but her mother? her mother definitely did.

“lunch?” yn asked, the emotion in her voice hard to pinpoint. “you guys went to lunch without me?”

“honey, it’s not a big deal. don’t be dramatic! we were just celebrating your brother’s achievements just an intimate get together that I planned.”

“right,” yn laughed sarcastically. “i’m always so dramatic, huh?”

her mother ignored yn’s words, stepping back to scan her daughter. “this outfit is cute. it looks good on you. maybe lose a couple more pounds, and it’ll look even better.”

that’s what really got her. yn didn’t seem to notice, but yunjin had been watching her the entire time, through the whole interaction. it kind of scared her how quickly the hurt in yn’s eyes disappeared after her mom’s words. if you hadn’t been paying attention, you’d have missed it entirely.

she had this ugly feeling in her stomach, it was brewing.

“we should get food.” kazuha said as they made their way into the expensive van followed by mumbles of agreement.

"I can have the cooks make something, and you guys can eat in the pool house," yn offered, her voice flat and lacking its usual energy. yunjin frowned, noticing how all day yn seemed to be doing everything she could to keep them from actually going inside her house.

she would take yn as the girl who would love to show off her big childhood home.

“ “you guys?” you’re not hungry?” kazuha asked looking at yn with concern.

“yeah I don’t really have an appetite.”

her mother ignored yn’s words, stepping back to scan her daughter. “this outfit is cute. it looks good on you. maybe lose a couple more pounds, and it’ll look even better.”

yunjin's mind replayed yn's words and then her mothers even as the rest of the girls had moved on from the topic of food. she couldn’t shake it. now that she thought about it, yn never really ate much at the dorms...

that feeling in her stomach was getting worse.

yunjin wasn’t gonna lie and say she was yn’s biggest fan, but to be honest it wasn’t always like that, she never really had any problems with yn when they were preparing for debut it wasn’t until they actually debuted.

“YN OF LESSERAFIM BECOMES GLOBAL BRAND AMBASSADOR OF CHANEL JUST FIVE MONTHS AFTER DEBUT, IT’S REVEALED THAT THE IDOL WAS SEEN AS A MUSE.”

yunjin stared in disbelief at the headline on her phone. yn hadn’t even mentioned this to them. without a second thought, she turned to chaewon, shoving her phone in the leader’s face.

“oh yeah, i saw that earlier,” chaewon said nonchalantly after reading the screen. “that moon family money working overtime, huh?”

“huh?” yunjin blinked, confused. she knew the moon family was a big deal, but would they really pull strings for something like this? yn never talked about her family, much less anything like this.

chaewon smirked, turning her laptop toward yunjin. “i did some digging. chanel is practically a moon family staple.”

yunjin’s eyes widened as she scanned chaewon’s screen. it was filled with photos, yn’s father as a teenager in chanel, her grandfather in chanel, her mother draped in chanel, and even her brothers. But what stood out most were the photos of yn herself. the article showed pictures from her father's press conferences and paparazzi photos starting from when yn was a toddler all the way up to now. in every single one, she was dressed in chanel.

“she’s been wearing it her whole life,” yunjin murmured, piecing it all together.

“yup.” chaewon smiled impressed with herself, “I mean they’ve been wearing it for decades upon decades, why wouldn’t they want the first idol ever from the family to be an ambassador of the brand they love so much.”

yunjin took in chaewon’s words, “oh my…”

“I know right,”. chaewon smirked, “and isn’t it crazy that hybe told us they want us to do things as a group first? but yn is a chanel ambassador, she probably didn’t like the sound of that and pulled daddy into the equation.”

yunjin didn’t want to believe chaewon’s theories but that fact that yn didn’t even tell them about this made it all more believable.

that was practically the beginning of everything. every achievement yn had on her own left yunjin second guessing if it was real, or if it was just the perks of moon money.

yn was, undeniably, the most popular member of the group. she was loved, practically all of south korea had watched her grow up. she had an advantage.

yunjin didn’t like to admit it, but she resented yn a lot. maybe it was chaewon’s words getting to her, but it always seemed like yn never struggled the way the rest of them did. she was praised for everything. when the whole group went through a brutal wave of hate, yn came out of it untouched. it was unfair, her life was perfect.

but after witnessing that interaction, yunjin realized maybe yn’s life wasn’t so perfect after all. she wondered how yn hid it so well. or maybe she hadn’t maybe yunjin had just been too blinded by her resentment to notice.

families in power like the moons were known for not having the best environment, her parents would always bring it, they still did.

“you know when your members grandfather was the head of the family company, they once found yn’s father that was probably about your age passed out in the middle of the road? it was a really big scandal, but everyone forgot about it, I was younger when that happened probably the same age as him but ask your grandparents they’ll tell you all about it.”

“I remember a couple years ago I think your member yn like 12 and she passed out in front of everyone at a press conference, an insider said that the hospital said she hadn’t had any food in her system, again everyone forgot about that, the moon’s perfect image cannot be broken.”

“a couple years ago, maybe four years before you debuted, there was this conference that the whole moon family went to not just your member and her father, mother and siblings like everyone was there, and it was so scary to see, I still feel some type of worry when I see the photo but the whole family looked pale and sick, like they were on their death bed but they still talked and presented perfectly fine, it was so scary and concerning to people that now if you search up the words dead and alive the video and photos will pop up, I remember some people said they think the whole family is on drugs but then an insider said that hospital receives a person from the moon family almost everyday due to them overworking themselves, people don’t know how they’re still alive,”

the last story always sticks out to yunjin she brushed it off when she first heard it but it’s always in the back of her mind when she looks at yn.

because there has been times where yn in the mornings she’d take notice of a hospital bracelet on yn’s wrist, she doesn’t know why she brushed it off but she did.

the feeling in her stomach was getting worse.

all the girls were comfortably lounging in the pool house. there was a tv, so they picked a show to watch

yunjin turned to chaewon, who was sitting beside her. “um, I have a question.”

“yeah?”

“yn’s interaction with her mom was weird, right? like, the weight comment?”

chaewon stared blankly at yunjin. “yeah, it was kind of weird, but that was probably just an off day. it’s normal for moms to mention stuff like that sometimes.”

“but you and I both know yn’s weight is perfectly fine, and it’s not just that and that comment yn said to you about her perfect life after and she seemed so tense, and some of the things her mom said were kind of—”

“okay, yunjin, what is going on? since when did you care about the moon family? they’re a perfectly fine family with all the money and power in the world. if they’re going through a rough patch, they’ll be fine and that comment was just her trying to get under my skin.”

the stories her parents brought up rushed back to her, this didn’t seem like a rough patch this seemed like a lifestyle.

yunjin took a deep breath. “I’m gonna go see where the food is. yn said she was checking on it, but she hasn’t come back.”

“try not to get lost!” chaewon joked.

yunjin couldn’t help but gasp at the sheer size of the moons’ house. this was yn’s childhood home? it was massive, she could definitely get lost here. she was about to turn back, thinking there was no way she’d actually find yn, when she heard her voice. it sounded tense, distressed.

following the sound, she crept closer, the voice leading her toward the kitchen. peering around the wall, she spotted yn, on her knees with her face in her hands, talking to jia, one of the household staff yunjin vaguely remembered.

“and then she brought up my weight again, right in front of everyone,” yn’s voice shook, barely keeping control. “she humiliated me!” she sounded desperate.

yunjin’s eyes widened as she watched yn stand abruptly, snatch a glass from a silver platter meant for the group, and hurl it to the ground, the shatter echoing through the kitchen. jia looked at her with a sad, understanding expression, as if she’d witnessed this scene far too many times.

“jia, I’m not good enough. I’ll never be good enough!” yn’s voice cracked, full of pain. “she planned this whole family lunch without me to celebrate achievements when I’m probably one of the most achieved person in this family as of right now, and now they’re all out shopping together!”

yunjin’s stomach twisted as she watched yn pace, her movements frantic.

“I’ve basically killed myself for that woman. I’ve been starving myself since I was ten ten, jia! I’ve done everything I possibly could just to make her love me, and she just… doesn’t. I’d do anything, anything for her, and it’s never enough.”

yunjin felt frozen, like she’d intruded on something far too personal, but she couldn’t look away. she’d never seen yn like this, stripped raw, unraveling at the seams.

“your mother loves you, miss yn,” jia murmured, reaching out gently. “have some tea, and I’ll bring the food out for your friends.”

“I don’t want tea!” yn shouted, her voice breaking. “and they aren’t my friends! they shouldn’t even be here!” she paused, her face twisting in pain. “she hates me, my own mother hates me, ever since that day.”

“that day wasn’t your fault, yn.”

“but it is! I was trying so hard to please her, and I did the exact opposite. I passed out in front of everyone important to her and dad . I embarrassed the family.” her words were choked, each one like she was tearing herself apart from the inside out.

yunjin’s heart sank. she knew exactly what yn was talking about, a story her own parents had once mentioned in passing.

“that was out of your control, yn. you were just a child.”

the scariest part was that yn wasn’t even crying. she was breaking down, but the tears never came. it was like she’d numbed herself.

yn never cried is something yunjin was starting to take notice of.

“no one is a child in this family jia, we both know that.”

yunjin was so transfixed that she didn’t even notice when jia’s gaze shifted, her eyes widening in alarm. yn turned around, following her gaze, only to meet yunjin’s shocked stare.

“what are you doing in here?”

yunjin flinched as she looked up to see yn walking toward her, fury blazing in her eyes. “I–”

“you shouldn’t be in here. is anyone else in here?”

“no, I was just wondering about the food.” yunjin’s heart was racing, she’d never seen yn like this before. “what’s the problem with me being in here? I don’t see the big deal,” she mumbled.

“because this is my home!” yn’s voice was sharp, rising as she shrugged off jia, who tried to calm her. “I don’t need you guys invading my safe space! do you hate me that much? that you can’t even let me have one place to escape from all of you?”

the feeling in yunjin’s stomach twisted painfully.

“wha–yn, hold on–” yunjin stammered.

“what?! am I being dramatic? I don’t care anymore!” yn’s voice cracked with rage and hurt. “did chaewon set you up to snoop on me? is that what this is? how much did you see?”

yunjin stayed silent.

“where’s all that talk you usually have? I asked how much did you see!”

“a lot…” yunjin admitted quietly.

“of course you did.” yn shook her head, her expression twisted with betrayal. “no one respects my wishes. I told you all to stay outside, to stay out of my space.”

she let out a bitter laugh, venom in every word. “just my luck. I’d tell you to go back to new york and live on the rat infested streets where you belong, but that’d just give you another reason to make my life miserable.”

anger surged through yunjin anger at herself. she felt the crushing weight of yn’s words, the realization of just how deeply she’d hurt her. yn needed a safe space from them. from her. and now, because of yunjin’s carelessness, yn was unraveling.

guilt clawed at her, twisting her insides until she felt nauseous. that feeling in her stomach… it was overwhelming.

unable to hold it back, yunjin looked up, her gaze pleading as she met jia’s concerned eyes. “is there a washroom nearby?”

“right beside you,” jia said softly, pointing.

yunjin turned and stumbled toward the door, barely making it inside before collapsing to her knees in front of the toilet. she let everything out, her stomach churning, her chest heaving with sobs she couldn’t control. the weight of her guilt, her shame, everything she’d ignored and avoided, now pouring out in raw, painful waves.

she lifted her head from the toilet and turned to see yn and jia standing at the door with unreadable expressions.

“I’m so sorry.”

[descendant-of-truth]

Y'know, it occurs to me - Movie!Sonic has a lot more in common Shadow than any other version of Sonic that I know of, and that creates a unique storytelling opportunity that wouldn't have been possible before.

Because originally, Shadow having a dark and traumatic backstory was what separated him from Sonic. Their similarities came out more in their confidence, their playful attitude, and even their withdrawn demeanor (though Shadow's is more extreme). Sonic's genuine ability to be carefree and optimistic was his biggest difference from Shadow.

In the movies, Sonic is... not nearly as put-together. Just like Shadow, his personality is shaped almost entirely from the result of tragedy. Both of them had to watch their closest family member get shot trying to save them from raiders (who were specifically targeting them for their powers) by sending them to Earth. The difference here is that, for Shadow, this event is fresh in his mind, while Sonic's had ten years (give or take) to accept what happened and move on.

Except, there's more, because losing Longclaw is itself not the main thing informing Sonic's character - it's the fact that he spent those next ten years in near-total isolation. Also similarly to Shadow, he took the last words his family said to him very seriously, and she told him to stay hidden no matter what. Combine that with the natural fear of what being found did to Longclaw, and the majority of Sonic's life has been spent hidden away, looking out at the world but unable to participate in it.

Remind you of anyone?

(I swear if the movie doesn't make a point about this parallel specifically I'm gonna lose it)

Normally, Sonic is a silly and upbeat character because that's just how he is by nature, and the feelings he keeps to himself are rarely detrimental to his health. In the movie universe, Sonic is silly and upbeat because he needed to be that way in order for his life to be bearable.

His constant chatter isn't quirky for the sake of it, it's a habit he developed out of necessity because there was no one else to talk to. He compulsively needs to fill the silence because not doing that would only reinforce how alone he was, and it's something he can't shake off even when he's not by himself anymore. His primary method of handling his feelings is to ignore them until they literally explode out of him with lightning firing everywhere.

All of this to say, a Shadow meant to be a foil to this Sonic is going to look very different from the Shadow we're used to. From what little about the movie's events have been described as of writing this, I'm inferring that Shadow's actually going to be a lot more open about his motivations for revenge than he was in the game, and that puts Sonic in the very interesting position of being more closed-off than Shadow.

Because sure, he might try to connect with Shadow's pain like he did with Knuckles. But because Sonic and Knuckles's history was so directly connected, they didn't really have to... talk that much about it. Sonic could acknowledge that they both lost their families a long time ago without having to go into detail about it or the aftermath. And because it had been so long since it happened, it was a lot easier for them to put it behind them and move on.

Shadow can't do that, because for him, Maria was lost very recently. He's not going to accept "you can move on and find new people to care about" as an option, and Sonic can't very well tell him to just ignore it like he did, either. Shadow isn't going to do the whole repression shtick.

For the first time, getting through to Shadow may just depend on Sonic being able to acknowledge his own pain, first. After all, how's Shadow supposed to interpret Sonic, if not as some random guy with a perfectly happy family and an obnoxiously happy attitude telling him that he needs to just, get over what happened to him? How can that come across as anything but naive and shallow without understanding how much Sonic suffered to get to this point?

(It's still a little naive and shallow even with that in mind, but the reason for that isn't because he has no perspective on what experiencing a violent tragedy is like - it's because his only known way of handling it is to leave it in the past and Not Think About It)

Though I do wonder if there's room for Sonic to initially clam up on his emotions even more after meeting Shadow for a bit? Like, he learns to some extent what happened, and is like "aw jeez if this is what could happen if I let myself be more upset about my lot in life then I REALLY need to reign it in" which is the exact opposite lesson he needs to learn but would be really interesting to watch

Point being, I think Sonic and Shadow are being set up as even more like mirrors to each other than usual, and I can't wait to see what they do with that potential

[hannie-dul-set]

YOU’RE MY BUCKET LIST.

p — SHEN QUANRUI x fem! reader. g — humor, fluff, lovestruck! ricky trying his darnest to be cool. w — swearing, secondhand embarrassment what did you expect from me. 2.8k words.

note — rewriting the backstory of his leopard print shirt. my loser idolverse is expanding. no one is safe. who should i throw into the depths of patheticness next.

ricky doesn’t believe in bucket lists.

what need is there for a list of things he wants and wants to do before he dies when he can get and do everything he wants in an instant? if he wants to go bungee jumping, he can go to gangwon-do this afternoon. if he wants to date, he’s got a couple dozen numbers he can pick and choose to call. if he’s craving for authentic italian wine right out of the cellar, he can book a flight and visit all of europe with his phone as his only luggage. 

he lacks nothing, and therefore he wants nothing. ricky doesn’t believe in bucket lists— he didn’t believe in bucket lists. at least not until that damned day of reckoning, when the nonexistence of his list suddenly came to existence, harboring one thing and one thing only. 

there’s only one thing he’d like to tick off before he dies. one thing he wants as soon as possible. something that isn’t instantaneously achievable. something that unfamiliarly feels out of his grasp.

ricky, more than anything in the world, wants you to take him fucking seriously.

“you’re so pretty today.” 

is what he says, the moment you enter the office. well, two moments after you enter the office because he had to take the first moment to admire how pretty you are before verbalizing it. he’s down horrendous, he knows— totally outside of the image he’s perfectly curated for the past six months since entering university. you’re the chair of his department’s council, a third year, and by some mystical force or another (read: being stupidly whipped) he volunteered to help prepare for a department event and managed to drag the rest of his friends into it.

said friends being gyuvin and gunwook, who are looking at him in judgment and disgust after completing his daily routine of complimenting your face.

“aw, how cute,” is your reply. ricky wracks his brain for another word for pretty, but you’re quick to move one and leave him in the dust. “thank you, ricky! you’re so sweet. anyway, matthew, how’s the—”

gyuvin snorts. “hey, at least she thinks you’re cute.” ricky throws him a punch but it falls weak from the mental damage. 

cute. he hates it. he’s grown to hate it after it became the symbol of you thinking of him as nothing but your cute junior. are his daily compliments not enough of a giveaway that’s he’s lowkey fucking in love with you? what else do you want? a truckload of roses? a barbershop quartet illustrating through song how stupidly down bad ricky shen is for his unbothered senior?

knowing you, even if he gets on stage in front of the whole university and perform a three-act play of how he fell, head first with scraped knees, into the tunnel of torture that is you and your pretty smile, you’d probably just ruffle his hair and coo, “good job! you’re so talented, angel!” because he’s so cute, so lovely, so never going to be boyfriend-able in your eyes and it eats his despairing soul.

maybe if he rips his heart out of his chest and you see the gaping, you-shaped hole it’ll leave behind, you might finally get the idea.

“quit being a drama queen,” gunwook says, throwing a ball at ricky’s bedroom door that’s been locked shut for a good hour now. it bounces right back into his palm and gyuvin is laying flat on the floor next to him. “it could be that she knows you’re into her, but she’s just trying to reject your advances gently because she doesn’t want to hurt you.”

gunwook and gyuvin hear a crash from inside ricky’s room. 

“that’s— that’s, no. i don’t even want to think about that!”

they’re waiting for him to finish changing (if he is just changing. the crashes in his room are becoming sources of concern). you invited them for a nice buffet dinner to celebrate the success of the event. however, the three of them are already thirty minutes late for the restaurant appointment, and hanbin had to come over and pick them up with taerae in tow after hearing the news that ricky shen— cool guy extraordinaire— is having a breakdown over a girl. 

there are now four men waiting in front of ricky’s locked bedroom. gyuvin gets sick and tired and starts banging on the door. “hurry up! do you want to keep the love of your life waiting?”

“damn, you guys were serious,” taerae posits. “is he actually in love with her?”

“i’m afraid so,” gunwook solemnly shakes his head. 

hanbin hits another concerned knock on his door, and lo and behold, ricky finally cracks open his bedroom door and walks out—

walks out in an ensemble that they can only unanimously describe as jarring. 

leopard print. leather pants. gold chain necklace. a pair of shades are hanging on the way too low cut shirt and they wonder if he’s gonna wear them indoors. he’s got a leather jacket folded over his arm and it’s twenty four fucking degrees.

“what do you think?” ricky asks, eyes proud, expectant, and sparkly. hanbin doesn’t have the heart to break it to him. “i read somewhere that the pattern symbolizes, uh, confidence and sexiness, i think. this will make her stop thinking that i’m cute, right?”

“yeah,” gyuvin replies. “she’ll think you’re hideous instead.”

“google tells me that the leopard print is a symbol of, and i quote, absolute femininity.” gunwook has his eyes trained on his phone. he looks up and gives ricky a once-over. “if you’re trying to go for the femme fatale look, then you’re doing a good job.”

it takes a moment for ricky to react.

when he does, his reaction consists of grabbing onto the hem of his allegedly ugly shirt and starts pulling it over his head.

“whoa, whoa, whoa— what are you doing?!”

gunwook quickly tries to stop him from stripping. gyuvin is laughing his ass off. taerae has a hand covering his mouth. hanbin is stressed. “quit picking on him! ricky, you look fine!” ricky is not fine. his styled hair is not disheveled and he’s visibly upset and sulking. gyuvin is losing his mind. he’s on the floor and hitting the ground.

“are you trying to be cute right now?” taerae asks. this just scrunches up ricky’s brows even more and makes his bottom lip jut forward.

“n...no…?”

“well, shit,” taerae laments. “it’s a genetic disease. she’s never gonna take you seriously.”

the only emotion ricky knows is despair.

he’s supposed to be hot and sexy and handsome, why can’t you see that? do you have a pink filter when you look at him, or something? is that it? that’s gotta be it, right? because why else would you be so unaffected when he feigns nonchalance, brushing through his hair at a precise timing when he notices you starting to turn to his direction. it’s your heart that should be beating like crazy when he greets you with a half-smile and a nod— not his, not his, not his when you return it with a full-smile, so bright and beaming, of your own.

“oh, you’re finally here!”

ricky doesn’t believe in bucket lists. he lives in the moment. he doesn’t want things so desperately to the point where he writes them down on a checklist taped to his desk. the list definitely doesn’t have the words “get miss department chair to fall in love with me” written on it with scrawled letters. and he doesn’t didn’t give himself a deadline to date you by the end of the year.

he’s given himself until the day he dies because the moment he met you was the first time he imagined watching someone walking down the aisle. 

yes, he’s down bad. yes, he sings hopelessly devoted to you in the shower five times a week and replaced the word you with your name. yes, gyuvin has a recording. 

“ah, we’ve been waiting for you, kids,“ you say once they’ve all settled on their seats. kids. he scoffs. insult to injury. he’s pouting and picking on a plate of galbi. he feels like shit even though you’re sitting right across him all pretty and sweet like the strawberry shortcake you ordered— which he’s trying his damn best to not steal a slice from because he’s pretty sure you’re just gonna go, “oh! you really like strawberries, don’t you? so cute,” and he’d much rather choose physical over emotional torment, thank you very much.

“they were caught up in something,” taerae responds to your initial statement. your eyes gloss over them with curiosity.

“why? what took you guys so long?”

four sets of eyes are on ricky and his patterned shirt. the bossam wrap in his mouth won’t swallow down his throat. it was too late for him to change out of the symbol of femininity. mid-strip, hanbin got a text from you so he got dragged out, guilty in leopard prints and gold, out of his apartment.

don’t you fucking dare, ricky glares at the suspicious look gyuvin is wearing as he brings a glass of water to his lips. gyuvin clears his throat, “we had to wait for ricky who was dressing to impress y—” and is subsequently elbowed and chokes on his water.

hot. ricky feels hot. not the sexy kind, but the icky embarrassing kind because he wants to cover his burning face and stab gyuvin with a fork in the process.

“oh?” you voice out from across the table. you’re plucking out wads of tissue paper for a dying gyubin but your eyes are trained on him. oh my god. he wants to rip this shirt off and die, but he can’t do that. he can’t. he hasn’t been working out enough lately due to stress. “not everyone can pull off animal prints. it looks really good on you.”

huh.

“and you’re not wearing your usual silver! you look cool today, ricky.”

oh.

what.

“you really think so?” gyuvin, who has now recovered, eggs you on further in behalf of his malfunctioning friend. there’s steam rising to the ceiling and it’s not from the open grill. he exchanges glances with gunwook and taerae. they catch the signal and press on. “doesn’t he look—”

“—would you dare say—”

“—handsome?”

“hot?”

“sexy?”

you let out something in between a cough and a laugh. 

they don’t miss the flustered jitter filtering the sound coming out of your throat.

mission success.

“ahaha, what are you kids saying?” ricky doesn’t miss it either. the initial shock of you not calling him cute has worn off and now it’s up to him to finish what his friends have started. he doesn’t miss the way you try to brush them off while fanning your face with your free hand, the way you reach out for a glass of water with the other and there’s a nervous bob in your throat when you swallow. “a—anyway, let’s make a toast for the success of our event!”

when he clinks his glass with yours, ricky  maintains eye contact amidst the noise of the cheers. his gaze is deep and you’re caught off guard— escaping with a laugh and turning away as you down half of your beer glass in one go. holy crap. holy shit, it’s working.

ricky can see it. there’s hope for his bucket list. he’s gonna swear by leopard shirts and gold chain necklaces if he continues to get this kind of reaction from you.

“it’s not because of the ugly shirt.”

gyuvin snaps him back to sanity once dinner concluded and they start leaving the restaurant. “it’s because we manipulated her brain waves into finally noticing that you’re hot,” gunwook inserts. they’re all outside now. you’re bidding the other members goodbye and gunwook nudges him forward. “you’re welcome. you owe us a meal.”

now, even with the newfound confidence and hope, ricky’s knees still buckle when he approaches you from behind. why is the back of your head still pretty? why?

at the moment, it’s taerae’s turn to receive your goodbyes, wedged between two cars, one of them his. he notices ricky’s looming nervous wreck of a presence from over your shoulder. “ah, and this is my cue to leave,” he says. “thanks for the meal, miss chair. get home safe.”

“you too, taerae! thanks!”

when you turn around, you bump into him. maybe he intended it, maybe not, but god damn the uncharacteristic flutter of your surprised eyes is destroying his plans to act cool, act nonchalant, act totally unaffected with how prettily you’re looking at him under the dim parking lot lights and the night sky. “oh!” you exclaim after reformatting, after putting on your doting senior voice again and it kills him because that’s a night of progress down the drain. “are you kids heading out now? oh, sorry, this is your car, right? i’ll get out of the way.”

he frowns. totally uncool, perfectly non-nonchalant, and completely affected but he doesn’t care anymore. 

“what do you think of me?”

the words jump out before he knows it. screw his bucket list. he’s gonna proclaim his undying love for you even if it kills him.

you blink. “what?” a laugh bubbles from your throat— a mix of trying-to-brush-him-off but nervous at the same time. “ricky, what do you mean?”

his face is knotting up. he’s totally pouting right now which he’d rather be caught dead than doing, but he’s now twice the dead man. ricky takes a step forward. you take a step back until no more steps can be taken because your back hits against his car, and he’s grasping at the straws desperate to get even an ounce of a hint of a sign that you’re finally taking him seriously. “what do you think of me?” he repeats, voice a little lower this time. your expression is completely taken over by peaches of fluster, this time. no sign of the composure you’ve usually perfectly maintained.

“oh, uhm.” your hands are unsure and held hostage in the air because his arms serve as a barricade around you, palms pressed tightly against the cold glass of the front seat window. you’re nipping at your bottom lip. ricky just died thrice. “what—what i think of you? well, uh, you’re a very good, very cute, very hardworking junior that i adore, and i—i appreciate all the help you’ve offered to the counci�� oh!”

ricky lets out a noise and buries his nose into the crook of your neck, arms that were once caging you are now completely wrapped around your waist. he’s putting all of his weight onto you. he is a corpse. he mumbles something unintelligible into you skin and you ask him to repeat it. “i don’t like it,” he says more clearly, still muffled, whiney all the same. “i’m not cute. i’m cool and handsome and totally in love with you but you just don’t get it.”

it’s quiet. ricky is anticipating the worst, which would be you calling him lame and a loser, but you don’t do that. you don’t push him off either.

“how can i not think you’re cute when you act like this?”

instead you pull him in closer. his eyes widen, and he feels your fingers digging into his hair, a tender touch on his nape, and he feels himself melting and turning into stone at the same time. 

“i never thought you were being serious every time you greeted me by calling me pretty. i thought you were just being playful and trying to earn extra points from me,” you hum. he sinks further. the only thing propping him up is you. “but calling someone pretty every day is barely a confession, ricky. how was i supposed to get anything from that? gosh, you’re so cute.”

“it usually works,” he mumbles. he doesn’t want to show you his face. he probably looks stupid right now. “i thought my new shirt worked too. gyuvin and gunwook don’t agree.”

“i think it’s cool.”

you finally pry him off, hands on his shoulders and he feels himself buckling. he’s pretty sure he looks stupid right now— pink and flushed and dizzy, but your face harbors no judgment. “i think i prefer the shirt owner over the shirt though.” only a familiar gaze of fondness and god, he’s so in love and you finally understand that. “now, why the hell are gyuvin and gunwook still loitering out here?”

ricky didn’t believe in bucket lists. at least not until that damned day of reckoning, when the nonexistence of his list suddenly came to existence, harboring one thing and one thing only. 

now, he’s got that one thing crossed out. he’s thinking of adding more.

YOU’RE MY BUCKET LIST. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[playboysaleen]

Kalopisa. (2)

Kalopisa: (n.) The delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are. 

Parings: Victoria Neuman x Supe!Reader (GN) (Slight AU)

Chapter One - Chapter Two

Summary: You never had the best life. Being abducted at a young age, being raised in the most wanted mafia as a weapon, hell- becoming the most feared in the gang. But…Truth is, you only wanted freedom. Being able to wake up and not have to wonder if you were going to see the sunset again. What happens when your wish partially comes true and you are offered your freedom but at what cost? Oh, you’ll see. 

Warnings: Death, Swearing, everything you done seen is the Boyz is what you should expect here.

Word Count: 3.4k (not proof read.)

Slight AU.  Slight German dialect. Reader speaks and has a french accent. I realized that in the show they are russian....its slight AU anyways they gonna be german here so bear with me lol. This chap is a little background on the reader. So you can grasp the reason why the reader is the way they are.

__________________________

A little backstory on you since now the boyz are on their toes to get you not only their wish but yours as well. 

When you were a toddler, you were taken from your family by the underground. Nina your ‘boss’ was on the table to wipe your entire family including you but when she entered the room to see you hunched over your dead mother crying she did not hesitate to create a soft spot for you. Well, it wasn’t the tears you were spilling but the sight around you. She could care less about the cries but the bodies that laid behind you. She didn’t mind the sippy cup of milk that was dripping from the nightstand but a smile grew on her face when there was the blood seeping into your clothes from the mess you made. The death of four of her men ignited a flame in her…she had a weapon. 

Weapon this. Weapon that. That was all you were. The constant urge to rip that woman to shreds but for what? To be on the run for the rest of your life? Fuck that. You remember sitting on the kitchen counter watching Nina clean the blood that stained your jaw. You kept your guard up but her hand was placed against your cheek and it sent you over the edge. You cried in her arms for a few seconds till a firm grip on your jaw caused the sobs to stop in your throat. Eyes were locked and you could smell the anger in her veins. She was disgusted with your emotions.

After that night you remembered walking back to your room with her hand giving you a reassuring squeeze every now and then till you were guided past your door down the hall. You still remember the smell of infected flesh and alcohol once her hand was placed on the handle as she opened the door. You were thrown into the room with a few other men that were quick to attack you. Waterboarded then zapped with volts that could fry a human to a crisp, then waterboarded again, strung up and beaten till your face was unrecognizable. It hardly sent you over the edge but what got you to your limit is when they would not feed you. You couldn’t go two days or more without feeding- you became submissive. Leaning against the bars, using the last of your weight to extend out your hand when Nina crouched down to your position smiling your way. This went on for years until there was nothing left in you to cry about. Till this day, you could feel the zaps against your neck when the water engulfed you whole when you stepped into your shower. You were 11. Eleven. 

Who was Malina? Ah, a story that does indeed get you riled up. On your 18th birthday you were granted to leave the underground for the night with the friends you made to celebrate your entrance to adulthood. You had a friend that wasn’t with you in the shithole you lived in. Malina. Meeting her was a bit sketchy but from the life you lived it was a simple weekly drug deal you do on the daily. You leaned against the run down building playing with your hoodie strings when the woman appeared around the corner. 

“Took you long enough,” You muttered out, pulling the wad of cash out of your pocket as she huffed, sending you a bright smile. 

“Tony did not shut up about what to wear for tonight, I completely lost track but hey! He is coming and he is bringing along his friend.” She spoke out reaching for the money when you pulled your hand back sending her a look. She chuckled, removing the backpack and unzipping; showing you the product. You nodded waving the cash in her face, 

“Tell Tony I’d give him a big fat kiss if I was not gay.” You joked out earning a laugh from the girl in front of you. She grabbed the payment without her fingers running over your own. Her smile faded as she took a step towards you, 

“I’ll make sure Tony keeps all this under the rug for tonight.” She whispered, you stayed silent feeling her breath against your lips. Your eyes ran across her face but stayed on her plumped lips when all you could do is nod. You always felt this bubbling feeling in your stomach when you met her two years ago, but you couldn’t do much about it with you being 16 and her twenty-two. You heard the men from the underground mention women and it was safe to say you had a little crush on the woman but throughout the two years, you were coming to understand maybe you did like her. 

“See you tonight Malina.” You whispered, taking a step back making your way out of the alley. You opened the backpack taking another glance to make sure the supply was correct knowing Malina she just grabs and runs your way. The small box labeled ‘Red River’ sent a huff out your mouth but you took a peek to see the blue vials knowing it was another successful deal. 

“Je ne vais pas boire, j'ai dix-huit ans, pas vingt et un, idiot” (I am not going to drink. I am eighteen, not twenty-one dumbass.) You scolded the man slapping the back of his head. Dani pointed his beer your way when another bucket was placed on your table. Music softly rang throughout the poolhall when all you wanted to do is go slam your head against the concrete wall. You were babysitting these connards (assholes) instead of actually enjoying yourself. 

“How about this,” Danill laughed out, placing a beer in front of you. “You drink with us and I will take the next name tomorrow. Have time with that mutterloses mädchen (motherless girl) of yours.” You rolled your eyes but gave in when you grabbed the bottle taking a long swig. Danill and the goons cheered, patting your back as you huffed, grabbing the pool stick, walking to the table. 

“Qui va se faire botter le cul ensuite?” (who is getting their ass beat next?”) you sang out swiftly hitting the 8 ball into the pocket. Alexi grumbled out some German swears plopping down the seat next to Danill. 

“I got next.” You turned to see Malina removing her coat, you noticed Tony whispering to the girl next to him. ‘No one is going to see you.’ His friend nodded, releasing a shaky breath. Her eyes locked with yours and everything stopped. You could hear her heart beating in your ears and you couldn’t stop the small grin that painted your face. You found your next meal. Malina pulled you into a hug when you wrapped her arms around her waist as the feeling disappeared from within you. You leaned back but your body froze when her lips were placed against the corner of your mouth. 

“I got twenty on V.” Tony blurted out, Danill raised his beer his way adding, 

“I got twenty on your friend then,” Tony chuckled, waving his bill, slapping it on the edge of the pull table. V was your alias name to everyone you knew but the truth is, you don't even know your real one. The night was spent betting on you and Malina plus a couple rounds of booze. It was safe to say you were indeed having a good time. 

“Oh my god, this is my song!” Malina gushed, grabbing your hand that was focused on hitting the solid ball when it sent the 8 right into the pocket. Some groaned and most cheered getting money into their hands but you were more focused on trying not to trip over your feet when Maline dragged you through the crowd. You were freaking out, you didn’t know what to do- hell, you didn’t know if you could even dance. Your thoughts went silent when your hands were placed on her waist pulling you in. You followed her movement but soon slowed down when your eyes flickered to Tony's friend starting your way. Tony was too focused on trying to get the same treatment you were getting. He was in love with his best friend, huh good luck with that. You hummed softly when you smelled the nervousness from the girl in front of you, she wanted to kiss you…and she did. You let yourself get lost in this feeling but the sad truth about it all was that it wasn't yours. It was hers. 

“Nadia!” You heard Tony yell out over the music when you turned your head breaking the kiss. Malina chased you down for another kiss but you pulled away following a very stressed Tony. Exiting out the back, you walked down the alley to find Tony with his hands in the air shouting. 

“What do you want from me Nadia? I gave you everything and you’re already head over heels for the fucking kid?” 

“It’s not that Tony, please just stop.” She pleaded, Malina stood next to you watching the sight unfold. Tony was jealous? Do you? You took a step when Tony gripped her arm when she tried walking away. 

“Tony stop,” Malina shouted, Nadia's head turned your way when you stood there matching her gaze. A static voice sounded in your ears but you were quick to flinch at the feeling of warmth splattering against your face. You turned to face Malina but all you saw was red. Blood invaded your nose but the overwhelming feeling of pain struck you deep, you turned to see Tony with his hands behind his head panicking.

“Oh god Nadia, we need to go.” He pleaded yanking on her coat when all she could do was stand there frozen under your emotionless gaze. 

‘This is Beta-2, Suspect 2 has been neutralized. Please evacuate the scene, FBSA will arrive at 5.’ 

You watched Nadia’s eyes turn white but for some reason she couldn't do it. You were the target and she failed. Tony yanked her one last time till she turned on her heels fleeing the scene. You took one last glance at what was left of Malina walking back into the pool house. 

“Ils sont là (they’re here), We have five minutes.” You spoke out grabbing your coat, Danill whistled and everyone was quick to gather their belongings heading out the backdoor. 

“Scheisse, is that-” Danill started but you walked past him hopping onto your bike roaring it to life. 

“I will meet you there. I need to handle something.” speeding out towards the main road, you kept your head low when the flashes of those american colors flew by you. You knew the saying from the underground. "You take one, we take all.” 

You killed an entire FBSAs safe house that night. Unlatching from the last soldier you leaned back into the wall watching him crawl away from you. Heavy breaths were heard from you when you felt something sliding down your cheek. You were crying. Why the fuck where you crying? Quickly wiping away the tears, you grabbed the soldier as he whimpered under your stare. 

“Tell this Nadia that I will kill Tony and she will be next.” 

The man nodded as you let him scurry away heading back to the vought tower. You looked around the room at the lifeless, shredded, and drained bodies and it still didn't…help. The survivor did what he was told running into the main office crying out what had been done but once questions were asked the man dropped limp to the ground with black ooze sizzling its way out of his nose and mouth. With the venom you left in his bloodstream gave him enough time to say his goodbyes to his family and well… to get your message across. 

They couldn't find you since then. You went dark. Your face couldn’t be found on any security or satellite cameras but you did fulfill half your promise. Two years after the loss of Malina, you found Tony running another grimey team for Red River. You left witnesses so Nadia and her little team can clean up their mess but you only wanted one person. 

“I will give you anything V, please.” Tony begged as he cradled himself like an innocent fetus. You could see his vein pulsating on the side of his neck, but you did not want to drink from him. The small room seemed to shrink with the rage you felt once you found him but you knew what to do. You walked further into the room with your hands in your pockets clicking your tongue, 

“Oh Tony, Tony, Tony…” you sang out crouching down to his side, grabbing his jaw. You looked over his expression when in truth, his fear was all you needed in this moment. 

“Malina was your friend, no? What makes you think she won’t burst you to bits too?” You cooed out aggressively letting go of his jaw. You stood to your feet walking to the center of the room clasping your hands together. 

“Here is the plan- you have two options.” You started pointing your finger his way. 

“You can tell me where your friend is and I will make this quick, or if you still think she feels the same way and you do not tell me…then I will make sure you can feel death pulling you out of your body when I drain every last drop of your blood- your choice.” Tony cried out a bunch of ‘no’s’ to which you pouted grabbing the broken bat that laid against the night stand placing it softly on his jaw. He whimpered once more when you lifted his head up to face you. 

“It is a shame that you think that monster is going to love someone like you. She could have saved you by now but…” His eyes caught the blinking red light of the camera that was hidden in the corner of the room. “From the looks of it, I think she is enjoying the show. Now, any last words to her before I decide myself on what I shall do for you?” You hummed at his silence but soon smiled when he started wailing out his pleas to the camera. Backpedaling to the door, you placed your hand on the light switch waiting for his cries to die down but the man kept going. 

Clapping your hands together, Tony looked your way, 

“Oh shut the fuck up, you talk too much.” You mumbled, flicking off the light. His screams were music to your ears and you haven't even started yet. You stalked your way to him but stopped when you stood in front of him. You turned your head to face the camera flashing your blood-coated fangs. Little did you know, she was watching the entire time. She did not feel anything for the man that pleaded for her aid but the heat that pooled between her legs when your red eyes hued on her screen was so wrong but…fuck did she loved the feeling. 

“No, no nonono Please! Please V! Plea-” A gasp was heard from the woman when she slapped a hand over her mouth at the crunch that echoed from her screen. The loud gulps could be heard from the way you drank him dry. A moan slipped your mouth at the taste of his fear igniting the fire in her chest. A masked cough slipped from her when all she wanted to do is go along with the sounds you were making, god how she wanted to feel your fangs piercing her neck with your hand wrapped around her thro- 

“We will get a team down there-” a voice interrupted her fantasies, she lifted her hand shaking her head. 

“No, they will continue to come back and we have bigger things on our hands.” A loud thud sounded from the laptop as you dropped his body back onto the ground. 

“Oh Nadia��” you sang out, leaning against the wall waving at the camera. She turned her full attention to you. You were a killer. A monster and she was into every single bit of it. 

“One day, I will find you; pray to the gods that I am having a good day…and I’m fed.” You breathed out, moving closer to the camera waving the head of her beloved decapitated friend displaying the biggest fanged smile. 

“Until then mon amour.” 

You weren’t a child. You couldn’t even consider yourself being one since you had your childhood stripped away when you could barely walk. You were the devil. The boogeyman of every adult's nightmares. You were FBSA most feared. 

It’s been five years since then. The way your fingernails dug into the spade table when you saw her enter the screen with her navy blue pants suit. Who knew she’d be a dangerous super holding hands with the federal government. Her smile made your head want to explode but for some odd reason, you enjoyed the little rush of needles that poked its way into your dead heart. 

Now you had nowhere to go, Frenchie was the only person you could trust so here you were in a donut shop with Frenchie gawking over the glazed donut. 

“You have to try this one, Kimiko requested it for you!” He beamed pointing at the strawberry covered donut. You hummed as he took that as a yes, asking the lady for two. You stood watching him smile at the lady receiving the change. It was 5 in the morning, just an hour after the incident with Victoria. Butcher and Hughie suggested that it was best for you to take a breather while they find a way to get some sort of drug from this hideout Victoria once owned. 

“I did not know the Frenchie was a little chatte.” (pussy) Frenchie playfully shoved you when you stumbled back a bit. A laugh spilled your lips when you swung your arm over his shoulder. 

“Kimiko showed me a side to life I did not know there was. It is a nice cauchemar, you should visit that place sometime.” He playfully defended. You scoffed, shaking your head at his antics when he shoved a bottle of chocolate milk into your chest. You inspected the drink as a smile fought its way to your face. 

“I remember you used to steal these from the corner store for me.” You laughed out, opening the bottle taking a long sip. A satisfied sigh was heard from you when you both made way into the elevator. He patted your shoulder smiling softly, 

“Well, now you can get as many as you want.” He assured you, he opened the door and walked in but he gave you a smirk, “not too many we don't need un gros démon, what is the point?”(a fat demon) you shoved him once he placed the bag of treats on Kimiko's desk. You wandered deeper into the office making your way up stairs to the loft area entering the bedroom. You took a seat on the small sofa that sat next to the bed, you fought between the urge of snapping her neck and…running your finger through her hair. 

She starred in her sleep moving her head turned to face you when you leaned back into the sofa letting it engulf you whole. Your eyes raked over her face when you tried everything and anything to look away but you couldn’t. You wanted her dead. 

“I’m surprised I didn’t burst to pieces while I was asleep.” She spoke, fluttering her eyes open to meet your threatening stare. You leaned deeper into the sofa open your legs a big wider, 

“I like to play with my food before I feed.” 

Her heart sped up with what came out of your mouth and you caught it. She moved onto her stomach as the sounds of the cars now driving to work were heard outside the window. Her eyes never leaving yours, 

“Why didn’t you kill me?” She whispered. Tilting your head, you moved from your position leaning closer that you were only a foot apart from her. 

“Where is the fun in that?” You whispered as your eyes flashed the red that has haunted her dreams from years ago. You wanted to kill her but something about her led you to wanting to see a certain side in action and…it wasn’t to kill Homelander. 

_____________________

One thing i am going to say... there will be alot of tension in this. Im not only teasing yall, I am doing this to myself lmfaooooo.

[the--blackdahlia]

Total Eclipse of the Heart (Beetlejuice x Reader)

Title: Total Eclipse of the Heart

Summary: Beetlejuice and (Y/n) share a bond that's suddenly severed. He would do anything to get her back.

Warnings: Mentions of attempted suicide, depression, longing

Beetlejuice let off a maniacal laugh as Juno yelled about the surprise he’d left on her desk. His favorite pastime was annoying the ever-loving shit out of her, and he wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. He made his way through the halls, a shit-eating grin on his face. He saw people standing around the water cooler, chatting away—typical civil servant behavior. Beetlejuice grabbed a coffee cup from some random desk and joined them.

“So, what are we talking about? Sam and Diane? Frasier and Lillith? Are we still on who shot JR?” The people around the water cooler all quieted at his presence. Something that never really happened before. “What? I got shit on my face or something?”

“Beej,” One of the few friends he’d managed to make since working on his “people skills” with (Y/n), approached him. This was a man named Chris. Beetlejuice didn’t know his whole backstory, but he knew he’d done some really bad shit.

“What?” He snapped. Chris held out a nametag to show Beetlejuice. Placing it in his hand, the demon was able to see the name.

(Y/n).

“What the fuck is this?” He asked before the pain set in. Starting at where his heart should be and stretching down his left hand to where a ring sat. Not a wedding ring, because she wasn’t ready. But a promise ring. Which, in Beetlejuice’s eyes, was the same thing. He dropped the coffee cup, watching it shatter on the ground before he took off running towards the exit. He hit the door with a force he didn’t know he had, falling through the brick wall of the Maitland-Deetz home. He landed on the attic floor, right at Barbara’s feet.

“That looked rough,” Her comment sounded flat, probably due to her and Adam staring out the window, watching for the Deetz to come back.

“Where’s (Y/n)?” The demon stood and dusted himself off.

“We don’t know,” Adam turned to look at Beetlejuice. “Lydia and Matilda are out looking for her.”

“Why? What’s going on?” Adam and Barbara looked at each other. “I swear on Ryan Reynolds, someone better tell me what the fuck is going on!”

“Here,” Barbara handed Beetlejuice a piece of paper. He unfolded it to read.

I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. Nobody blame yourselves. You were all lovely. I’m the broken thing in this house. Nobody summon Juicebox to look for me. He’ll see me sitting at a desk in the Nether before long. I love you all.

~(Y/n)

“The fuck?” He wasn’t sure he understood what was happening, but he knew it was hurting him. “Where is she?!” He boomed, closing his eyes and hoping to hear her say his name. But nothing came.

So he waited. He stood at the window while Adam and Barbara milled around, doing things to keep themselves distracted but not having much purpose. Neither of them had ever seen Beetlejuice stand so still. He normally bounced off the walls, and if he was sitting, he was bouncing his leg or playing with whatever fidget toy Lydia or (Y/n) would give him. Matilda swore he had ADHD, but how do you diagnose a demon?

Finally, he saw Matilda’s car at the end of the driveway. Beetlejuice was right at the front door as Lydia and Matilda entered. Barbara and Adam were hovering not far behind, and even Delia was waiting.

“We found her. Got her to the hospital,” Lydia explained. “They’re going to observe her overnight, make sure there’s nothing medical that needs to happen. Then she’s going to a psychiatric hospital for a mandatory 72-hour observation. After the 72 hours, they’ll determine if she’s safe to return home.”

“Did you tell her to summon me?” Beetlejuice asked, noting that both Lydia and Matilda stayed quiet. “Lydia!”

“She didn’t want us to summon you there. I don’t think she wants you to see her as anything less than perfect.”

“But she’s always so happy! Always smiling!”

“Beej, sometimes the people who smile the biggest are the ones that are hurting the most,” Matilda was trying to be gentle. But Beetlejuice wasn’t having it. He stormed off to spend time in the graveyard in the attic. Lydia sighed and looked over at Matilda.

“It’ll be ok. They’ll both be okay…” Matilda took her hand and led her towards their home library.

****

(Y/n) sat in the strange, sterile office of the doctor she would be seeing while in the psychiatric hospital. There wasn’t much in the way of decorations. The diplomas on the wall seemed to be laminated photocopies. No glass that way. Instead of porcelain knick-knacks, there were a couple of small, plush toys. Like the little bag clips that kids would load onto their backpacks. Across the strong, oak desk that is bolted to the cold vinyl flooring, sat Dr. Edward Wheeler. An older gentleman with thick graying hair, and glasses placed on the bridge of his nose. He had (Y/n)’s file opened in front of him.

“Well, Ms. (y/l/n)...”

“Please, call me (Y/n).”

“Okay. (Y/n). What led you to being in my office today?” He looked up at (Y/n), watching her fidget in the uncomfortable chair.

“Dunno…” She mumbled. He made a tsk noise and wrote a note on his notepad.

“Well, according to the notes from the ER, you had a high level of opioids in your system. And you told the staff that you took them intending to end your life,” He looked back up at her. “Your friends, Lydia Deetz and Matilda Wormwood, they were the ones that brought you to the hospital, is that correct.”

“Yeah,” (Y/n) signed. “Always seem to know when I’m in trouble.”

“Now, (Y/n), looking at your past medical history, you’ve spoken to a therapist about…seeing ghosts?” He raised an eyebrow. “And specifically, one named Beetlejuice?” He noticed the little smile that spread on her face. “Does that speak to you?”

“If you say his name three times, he’ll come here and prove I’m not crazy,” She was excited to see him again. She knew he’d probably be mad at what she did, and a little overprotective, but they could see each other again.”

“Well, then that is our sign to no longer use that name,” Dr. Wheeler wrote a few more notes. “From now on, that will be a banned word during therapy and as long as you are under my care.” Instantly, (Y/n)’s hand went to the ring that was on her left hand. One made from the same material as Beetlejuice’s. Dr. Wheeler noticed. “How did you get that in here?”

“Oh, this is from Be…Beej. It’s a comfort item.”

“I’m sorry but you can’t have this. It will be placed with your other belongings,” He held out his hand for her to place the ring in.

“Oh please Dr. Wheeler, let me keep it. Please.”

“I can’t do that (Y/n). Now please give it to me. I don’t want to have security come in and remove it from you,” (Y/n) felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she twisted the ring a couple of times before slowly removing it from her finger.

She felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest as she placed the ring in the doctor's hand. She couldn’t feel Beetlejuice anymore, and she suddenly felt really alone.

****

“AHHHH!” Beetlejuice screamed, throwing himself to the ground and holding his chest. The dramatic display spooked everyone, including Lydia, who didn’t scare easy. “(Y/n)!”

“What’s wrong?” Matilda moved through the kitchen to where Beetlejuice was now sitting up, holding his hand out in front of him.

“Her ring is gone. I can’t feel her anymore,” He watched as the light faded out from the band on his finger. He could always tell how (Y/n) felt through the ring. If she took it off to wash dishes, there would be a slight tingle followed by the scent of whatever soap they had that week. If she was mad at him and took off her ring, it burned. But this, this was different. It was just like someone had stuck a branding iron through his chest.

“She’s not…dead, is she?” Adam put down the paper he was reading.

“No. If she was dead, I’d know. She’s not dead,” Beetlejuice managed to stand up. “I have to go see her.”

“How are you going to that? She’s not going to summon you,” Lydia crossed her arms. “And there’s no visitors until she calls us to say she’s allowed visitors.”

“Well, when’s that?”

“Whenever her doctor says she can have visitors.”

“FUCK!!!” Beetlejuice went storming off.

“You think he’s angry?” Barbara was matching paint to the new wallpaper Lydia had helped her put up.

“I think that’s the understatement of the year,” Matilda returned to her baking as Lydia returned to help Barbara.

****

“Hello?” Lydia answered her phone. It was the number for the hospital that (Y/n) was at. It had been two weeks since the incident, and Beetlejuice had alternated between moping around the house and going to perform bio exorcisms to keep his mind distracted. But he was at home, listening to Matila having a book club with Adam and Barbara.

“Lyds? It’s me.”

“(Y/n)! How are you feeling?” That got the group's attention. Beetlejuice was on his feet in an instant.

“Let me talk to her!” He tried to grab for the phone, but Lydia held it away from him.

“I’m doing ok. Dr. Wheeler says I can have visitors. I was wondering if you and Matilda would come visit me.” She sounded different. More relaxed.

“Of course. We’ll come by tomorrow. We both have the day off from work.”

“That works perfectly. I have therapy today, but tomorrow I’m free. It’ll be great to see you guys.”

“Do you want us to bring you anything? Or anyone else?”

“No, that’s ok. Thank you for the offer. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Lydia hung up then.

“Why didn’t you let me talk to her?” Beetlejuice asked with a slight growl in his voice.

“I didn’t want to bombard her with things. Especially as she’s trying to heal Beej,” Lydia’s voice was calm and even, the complete opposite of Beetlejuice’s voice. “She asked for Matilda and I to go visit her tomorrow.”

“I’m going too.”

“Beej…I don’t think…”

“I’m. Going.”

“Okay, fine. But if she doesn’t want you there, you pop out. Wait in the car or something, okay?”

“Deal.” Beetlejuice turned and went back to Matilda’s deep discussion on A Game of Thrones.

****

“We’re here to see (Y/n),” Lydia told the receptionist.

“Just the two of you?” She wrote out their name tags. Beetlejuice was trying to stay hidden—part of the deal he made with Matilda and Lydia to get to join them. Stay hidden until they get to see (Y/n).

“Yes ma’am,” Matilda smiled and accepted the nametag.

“More than likely, she’s either in the garden drawing or she’s in the great room playing piano. I’d try the garden first. It’s a nice day.”

“Thank you,” Lydia, Matilda, and Beetlejuice made their way to the garden. A few people were walking around, talking with each other or with a nurse. They saw (Y/n) settled into a molded plastic chair, sketching an older gentleman just down the walkway. He was sitting on one of the concrete benches, watching birds.

“(Y/n),” Matilda was trying to make her voice as soft and even as possible. (Y/n) looked up and smiled, setting her sketchbook down and getting up to hug Lydia and Matilda.

“You guys made it. I’m so glad to see you.” She smiled, but it didn’t really show in her eyes. To Beetlejuice, it seemed that the life had been sucked out of her.

“Hey babycakes, I’ve missed you,” Beetlejuice spoke up. But it was like (Y/n) didn’t see him. “(Y/n)?”

“Let me show you guys my room. A couple of the teenagers here drew some art for it. I’ve got a radio, and Nurse Shelley brought me a big fuzzy blanket to cuddle up with,” (Y/n) led the group towards her room. Matilda walked ahead of Lydia and Beetlejuice.

“What the fuck is going on? She can’t see me?” He asked. “Why the fuck can’t she see me?”

“I don’t know Beej. We’ll figure it out, okay?” Lydia patted his shoulder.

“Here it is! I’ve even got a window. I love sketching the sunsets,” (Y/n) showed them the small room with bars on the window. “I’ve gotten a lot better. Dr. Wheeler has hope that I should be able to go home soon.”

“Well, I know Adam, Barbara, and Beej miss you,” Lydia tested the waters. (Y/n) looked at her like she had two heads.

“Adam…Barbara…oh. The ghosts. The ones that I made up to represent the homelife I never really had,” (Y/n)’s smile fell a bit. “They’re not real.”

“(Y/n), you know that’s not true. Plus, Beetlejuice really misses you…” Matilda stopped when (Y/n) backed up from her. “(Y/n)?”

“Please don’t say that name. That is a bad name. We don’t use that word here,” Lydia glanced over at Beetlejuice, whose mouth was hanging open. (Y/n) couldn’t see him, because she didn’t believe in him. Not anymore.

“Excuse me,” Dr. Wheeler knocked on the door. “(Y/n), is everything okay?”

“Yes, Dr. Wheeler. I was just showing Lydia and Matilda my room,” (Y/n) smiled at the doctor. “Lyds, Tillie, this is Dr. Wheeler. He’s helped me so much.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you two,” He shook their hands. “(Y/n), it’s almost lunch and medication time. I’m going to take your friends to discuss the process with them. Oh, it’s pizza day.”

“Oh, I love pizza day,” (Y/n) walked past the doctor. Beetlejuice wanted to follow. He wanted to be near (Y/n), but he also felt like his heart was breaking. So he walked behind Lydia and Matilda as they followed Dr. Wheeler to his office.

“So, you’re Lydia Deetz, and you’re Matilda Wormwood, am I correct?” Dr. Wheeler asked once the girls had settled in chairs across from his desk.

“Yeah. We’re (Y/n)’s best friends and roommates,” Lydia could feel Beetlejuice standing right behind her, sizing up the doctor.

“Then you must know how fragile (Y/n)’s psyche is,” Dr. Wheeler opened (Y/n)’s file. “In her first therapy sessions, we asked her to draw things. We just wanted to get a sense of what she was seeing, what she was feeling,” He laid a few drawings out. One was Adam and Barbara, sitting on the couch together. But there was a dark haze to it. Too much black crayon was used on what was a pretty sunny memory. Another was Beetlejuice sitting at a table, feet up, smoking a cigarette. Lydia taking pictures of food, and Matilda making books float around the room. All of them were memories, but all of them seemed to be have a shadow over them.

“These are good,” Matilda commented. “(Y/n) doesn’t draw as much as she used to. We have some of her work hanging in the library.”

“We asked her to draw what she sees at home. And she drew ghosts. She told us that this is Adam and Barbara Maitland, who, according to our records, died quite some time ago. She drew Ms. Wormwood using magic to move things around the house. She drew Lydia doing possibly the only normal thing. But what is most concerning is this personification of her depression, the mess in her mind.” He pointed to the picture of Beetlejuice.

“That’s not a personification of anything,” Lydia started, but Dr. Wheeler raised a hand to stop her.

“She says this is named Beetlejuice. She told me if we said his name three times, that he would show up. We have worked very hard to help her work through this creation. She now draws happier things. Flowers, birds, the sunset. We banned this name from being said, and she has come to terms with the fact that she created these imaginary characters to help her cope with the stresses of life. These people do not exist.”

“Dr. Wheeler, you don’t understand…”

“No Ms. Deetz, you don’t understand. (Y/n) is sick. We are trying to heal her. If I had my way, she would not be returning to the house on the hill. But she’s an adult and we can’t stop her from going someplace. And since we are so close to getting her to a healthy point, I will have to ask that you do not visit anymore until she is ready to be discharged.

“WHAT?!” Beetlejuice all but screamed, but Dr. Wheeler didn’t seem to notice anything was amiss.

Reluctantly, Lydia and Matilda left his office. He promised he would take care of informing (Y/n) about the new arrangement. Beetlejuice wanted to stick around the hospital to watch over (Y/n), but Lydia pulled him away.

“We’ll get her back Beej,” Lydia promised him when they got to the car. But when Lydia looked at Matilda, there were tears in her eyes.

Maybe they had actually lost their best friend.

****

“Okay, I’m going to go pick up (Y/n),” Matilda told Adam, Barbara, and Beetlejuice over a week later. “Lydia will be home from work shortly. Now, we don’t know if (Y/n) is going to be able to see all of you guys or not. We just have to be gentle with her, okay?”

“We will all be on our best behaviors,” Adam promised. Beetlejuice rolled his eyes and went back to staring out the window at the driveway.

That’s where he was when Lydia got home from work. Watching for Matilda’s car to come up the drive. Lydia sat down next to him.

“It’s like watching water boil or paint drying, isn’t it?” She asked him.

“What’s taking so long?” He grumbled, watching a bird fly in front of the window.

“Paperwork probably. It takes a while,” Lydia looked out the window with him. That’s when Matilda’s car appeared, pulling up the driveway. Everyone waited as (Y/n) and Matilda got out, (Y/n)’s few belongings in a bag in her hands. They walked into the house.

“It’s a little chilly in here,” (Y/n) walked right past Barbara and Adam without saying a word. “But it’s so good to be home.”

“We’re glad to have you back,” Lydia hugged (Y/n). Beetlejuice watched (Y/n) curiously like a cat just watching his territory.

“Babe,” He whispered, but it fell on deaf ears as the girls headed upstairs to (Y/n)’s room. Beetlejuice started to follow.

“Maybe you should give her some space,” Adam commented, but Beetlejuice just glared at him before heading upstairs as well.

“Here, I drew some new things,” (Y/n) handed Lydia and Matilda some new artwork she had done. “I think I might take painting up again.” Lydia wanted to say that Adam would love to have a painting friend, but she kept quiet. “Oh, there’s that ring.” The two other girls looked back at Beetlejuice, who was excited. Once (Y/n) put her ring back on, she’d be linked to him again. He’d be able to feel her, to help her. “Do either of you know where I got this? I don’t remember.”

“Uh…” Was all Matilda could muster. (Y/n) shrugged and looked at the elegant band again before setting it on her dresser.

“Who’s hungry? I’m starving,” (Y/n) walked past Beetlejuice, stopping for a second. “Man, I just got a draft. I think I need to get my hoodies out of the closet.” She walked away then as Beetlejuice stood there.

****

It had been a couple of weeks since (Y/n) had returned home. While things were peaceful, Lydia felt she was walking on eggshells, trying to keep the ghost talk to a minimum. Beetlejuice was pining a lot. He just wanted (Y/n) to see him. But nothing seemed to work. So he was currently sitting in the kitchen, watching as (Y/n) did dishes and sang along with the music from her phone. He heard the beginning piano of that Bonnie Tyler song playing.

“Turn around,” He whispered along with the guy on the song.

“Every now and then, I get a little bit lonely, and you're never coming 'round,” (Y/n) sang. Beetlejuice perked up a bit. Maybe this was what he needed.

“Turn around,” Beetlejuice watched her.

“Every now and then, I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears,” (Y/n) sang into the wooden spoon she had been drying.

“Turn around…”

“Every now and then, I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by,” She rinsed a plate and set it in the drying rack.

“Turn around…”

“Every now and then, I get a little bit terrified, and then I see the look in your eyes,” Beetlejuice stood behind (Y/n) then.

“Turn around, bright eyes…”

“Every now and then I fall apart…”

“Turn around, bright eyes…”

“Every now and then I fall apart,” (Y/n) turned around to face Beetlejuice and he swore for a brief second, she was looking right at him.

“Turn around,” He reached out to touch her, but she was just a little out of reach.

“Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild,” The Maitlands, Lydia, and Matilda could hear (Y/n) and Beetlejuice singing from the kitchen. They didn’t want to break whatever spell was going on. They all wanted (Y/n) back, but they also needed to see what was going on.

“Turn around…”

“Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms,” (Y/n) could feel the cold air in the kitchen with her, the same cold feeling that had been following her around the house since she came back. She could also feel eyes on her from the dining room but made no move to look that way.

“Turn around,” Beetlejuice watched her. He could tell she was feeling something. He was feeling that spark back in his heart.

“Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry,” (Y/n) could feel tears in her eyes.

“Turn around.”

“Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes,” (Y/n) couldn’t stop singing even if she wanted to. Something was compelling her to keep going.

“Turn around bright eyes,” Beetlejuice couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on his face.

“Every now and then I fall apart.”

“Turn around bright eyes.”

“Every now and then I fall apart!” Right then, Beetlejuice made his move. He reached out and was finally able to touch her. He wrapped one arm around her waist and held her hand in his other one. She rested her other arm on his shoulder. She couldn’t see what was going on, but she could feel cold against her skin.

“And I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever. And if you only hold me tight we'll be holding on forever. And we'll only be making it right 'cause we'll never be wrong,” (Y/n) sang as she was twirled around the room. Right then, she was able to see Adam and Barbara standing with Lydia and Matilda.

So the ghosts were real after all.

“Together we can take it to the end of the line. Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time.”

“All of the time,” Barbara, Adam, Lydia, and Matilda found themselves singing backup. Part of the Beetlejuice band apparently.

“I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark. We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks,” (Y/n) sang to the invisible force in front of her. She knew who it was, but she just couldn’t make the connection. Not yet. “I really need you tonight. Forever's gonna start tonight.”

“Forever gonna start tonight,” The quartet sang as (Y/n) stopped moving around the room.

“Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart. There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart,” (Y/n) looked around, a little confused as to why she had stopped dancing. “Once upon a time there was light in my life but now there's only love in the dark. Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart.”

That’s when she felt herself being lifted up and placed on the breakfast table, a clattering of glassware on her less-than-graceful landing. She felt herself moving around the table again with the same invisible force. Now the other four stood around the table, watching her.

“Turn around, bright eyes. Turn around, bright eyes,” She could hear them sing, but there was a fifth voice there. A deeper, more gravelly one. One that she heard whisper her name many a night. “Turn around.”

“Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be.”

“Turn around,” Beetlejuice sang, and (Y/n) could hear him clearly this time.

“But every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am,” She could feel her feet leaving the table as she floated up into the air. The rest of the world just seemed to melt away as a hazy figure entered her vision.

“Turn around,” He sang to her, with an accompaniment. But she knew it was him.

“Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as you,” There he was, with that shit-eating grin he always wore. The one she loved to see, even when he was pulling pranks on her.

“Turn around,” He whispered to her, moving his head to kiss the hand that he was holding.

“Every now and then I know there's nothing any better. There's nothing that I just wouldn't do,” She returned the favor, kissing his hand this time.

“Turn around bright eyes.”

“Every now and then I fall apart,” She felt him pull her a little closer at that statement.

“Turn around bright eyes.”

“Every now and then I fall apart! And I need you now tonight. And I need you more than ever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And we'll only be making it right 'Cause we'll never be wrong. Together we can take it to the end of the line. Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time!”

“All of the time.” The quartet sang back to her.

“I don't know what to do, I'm always in the dark. Living in a powder keg and giving off sparks!” She was putting emotion into this that needed to be let out for years. Tears were streaming down her face, but she never wanted Beetlejuice to let her go. “I really need you tonight. Forever's gonna start tonight.” He lowered them back down to the table.

“Forever’s gonna start tonight,” He whispered in her ear as he pulled her against his chest.

“Once upon a time, I was falling in love. But now I'm only falling apart. Nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart,” She all but cried into his chest. “Once upon a time, there was light in my life. But now there's only love in the dark. Nothing I can say. A total eclipse of the heart.”

The pair didn’t hear the four finishing off the song as Beetlejuice kissed (Y/n) deeply, emotions pouring off of both of them. Once the world seemed to come back into focus, (Y/n) looked up into his eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” She whispered, more tears threatening to spill. He cradled her face in his hands.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he wiped the tears away with his thumb. “I’m not going to let you fall again. I promise.”

[temporarywelcome]

Fatal Flaw - Tate Langdon

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary: She loved him, that was her flaw. He loved her, that was his strength. But it wasn't strong enough to prevent the darkness from consuming him.

WARNINGS: swearing, self-harm mention, gu.n violence, major death. this is some HEAVY shit, heavy enough I censored some of it juuuuust in case

A/N: idk i felt like Apocalypse just tried to justify Tate for fan service, so I wrote this as like a challenge for myself lol. Could I give Tate a backstory to actually make him a victim from beginning to end? Also idr where larry was when Tate set him aflame so now it was in the house lmao. this fic puts emphasis on the house being "evil", meaning an entity pulling the strings

______________

People say it’s unlikely for high school sweethearts to stay together.

To get married, have kids, grow old together.

It’s unlikely. 

But Tate was different.

He was everything she had ever wanted. Attractive, poetic, with a sensitive side, and rough around the edges. He had his issues, but she had hers.

Everyone has issues, so why be stuck on his?

Tate wasn’t happy. 

He was constantly in his dark, gloomy world, his certified therapist being the equally dark and gloomy Kurt Cobain. And just like Kurt Cobain, Tate had his fun side. His chaotic but endearing personality that one just had to pry a little bit to find.

Y/N was the one to make the first move.

He sat quietly in the back of class a lot, headphones connected to his discman as he stared out the window off into the school’s courtyard. For some reason, Y/N had taken a liking to him, because, well, look at him. He was gorgeous. 

Most girls at school didn’t pay him any mind, he was almost… invisible to them. But if he was a bit more outspoken, she was sure girls would flock to him. 

But no, he was invisible, and no one cared for him. No one acknowledged him.

But Y/N was different. Tate was different. 

She wanted to know him. 

So one morning before class started, she took the seat next to him. “Hey,”

Nothing.

Reaching out, she tugged on the wire of his headphones, making him jump, “What the hell?” he grumbled. 

“I’m Y/N,” 

He had glared at her, but then it changed to the ghost of a smile. Girls don’t usually pay attention to him. In general, most people didn’t. 

“Tate,”

It didn’t take long for the two of them to start dating. Within a few weeks, they were attached at the hip. He had told her his whole life story, which shouldn’t have been so detailed, as a then-sixteen year old. 

He told her about his relationship with his mother and how he hated her. She made him feel worthless. He told her about her new boyfriend and how he hated him too. How he had three siblings but lost two of them. He showed her his scars, and she initially panicked, unsure how to react. 

She had reached out, and when he thought she was going to make a whole show of kissing the scars on his wrists, he instinctively put his hands behind his back, saying, “Don’t you fucking dare,” which garnered a “sorry” from her, and he had laughed. She laughed too. 

But the thoughts began getting worse. 

A dark fantasy. He thought about it quite often. Something about it just felt so right to him. There was something so poetic and beautiful about the action. The looks on everyone’s faces. The splatter of ruby all over the walls. 

He could turn the school into a perfect canvas. 

That’s what the voices told him, anyway. The voices told him that this was best. The same voices that told him to end it all. The same voices he heard every time he had picked up the blade. 

He really was going to end it all. That’s what the voices had wanted. That’s what they had been telling him ever since he was forced to move into this awful home.

But how could he? He had Y/N. She was everything to him. Everything he could ever want, all he even had. 

So the voices implanted a new idea in his head. 

____________

His mother was yelling at her new boyfriend about something. He wasn’t sure what. 

She was yelling up a storm, and he sat curled up on his bed, trying to block it out with his usual medicine: Nirvana. 

Then why did her shouts seem so amplified? Why did it sound like she was right inside his room, yelling at him? 

You should do it tomorrow.

“No,” he said loudly into the quiet room, barking back at the voice only he could hear, “I don’t want to.”

It would be such a wonderful sight.

“No it won’t! There’s nothing nice about-about blood and de-death!” he stuttered out, suddenly feeling a headache form. He rubbed at his temples, trying to calm his thoughts. He could hear the door slam and he looked out the window, seeing both Larry and Constance storming out, walking in different directions.

Imagine Y/N, laid out on the floor, the blood around her head like a halo. Doesn’t that sound beautiful? Her eyes open wide, the life drained out of them.

Tate’s eyes widened and he stood up angrily, “Stay away from her!” he shouted, hands balled into fists by his sides. “I won’t let you touch her! No no no!” Raising a balled fist, he punched the wall, the connection causing his knuckles to burn. 

You can’t hurt me, Tate.

“Fuck you!” he kicked the wall next, repeatedly. Over and over again. “Fuck you! Fuck you! I won’t let you have her!”

This house wanted his girlfriend dead. He wouldn’t allow it. He won’t let this house take away the only thing that was keeping him sane. The only reason his scars were beginning to fade. 

And so he grabbed a gallon of gasoline and a lighter from the garage. 

You really think that’s going to do anything, Tate?

“Shut the hell up,” he grumbled, uncapping the jug.

I’ll still be with you. I’ll always be with you.

“Suck dick,” it didn’t even occur to him that he was talking to a house. He went to pour the contents of the jug all over the floor when he suddenly heard a door open. The front door.

“Constance? You home?” the voice called out. Larry, the fuck ass boy toy must have come back in an attempt to apologize for the argument they just had.  

This will be fun.

“Fuck off,” Tate screwed back up the gasoline. As much as he hated Larry, he didn’t want to start a fire while he was in the home. He would just have to hide it under his bed until the house was empty. 

The house had other plans.

You’re just going to let that asshole become the man of the house?

Yes. He didn’t care anymore. Larry could have Constance, and once Tate graduated he was going to leave. He was going to swoop the love of his life off her feet and run away from this God awful town. He didn’t have to be here much longer.

You really think Constance will let you leave? 

“Shut up,” 

She’s never going to let you leave this home, definitely not this town. Especially with that terrible girl she doesn’t even like.

“She can’t stop me,” Tate replied dryly, beginning to walk back up the steps.

Speaking of that terrible girl, Larry seems to like her tons…

He stopped in his tracks, “...What?”

He thinks about her quite often. Every time she comes and visits, he’s watching her. You haven’t noticed? Haven’t noticed him eyeing her up and down? Haven’t noticed the way he licked his lips, the way his pants tightened around-

"He hasn't seen her in weeks," Tate shot back. Y/N was an expert at sneaking in at this point.

His imagination still runs wild.

“Fuck him,” Tate growled, stomping back down the stairs, “Fuck. Him.” 

How dare that man look at Y/N that way? How dare he have those thoughts about her? Not only a taken woman, but a minor at that. 

He found himself uncapping the jug, standing with his feet planted outside of Larry’s office. He uncapped it, flicking the cap off to the floor with his thumb and index finger. He reached out to grab the doorknob and stopped himself. 

What the hell is he doing?

Was he really about to end someone’s life?

No, that’s insane. He can’t do that.

Then his feet moved for him. 

What the fuck? What the actual fuck? Fuck fuck fuck fuck-

He swung open the door, Larry looking up to meet his gaze, “Ah! Tate! You see I’m busy right now-” the man paused, seeing a suspiciously dark look in Tate’s eyes.

What the fuck was happening? Why couldn’t he feel his legs? Why couldn’t he feel anything? 

Just anger. He felt anger while looking into Larry’s stupid bug eyes. He felt anger looking at the snarky look on Larry’s face.

Without a second thought, he splashed gasoline onto Larry’s body, flicking a match in his direction, watching him set aflame. 

Pain travelled throughout the older man’s body as he screamed in terror, tumbling out from behind the desk, scrambling around the office in panic. 

Tate didn’t look back as Larry collapsed, rolling around on the floor, somewhat calming the fire and in turn, passing out. 

There’s a lot of preparations you need to do for today.

“Today?” Tate muttered, stumbling up the steps.

Grab the gu.n. Plenty buIIets. School isn’t out for a few hours.

“Yes… I have time…” he suddenly felt tired. So, so tired as he trudged up, his legs feeling heavier with each step. “I can’t…”

Yes you can and you will. 

Next thing he knew, he was cleaning the gu.n, seated on his bed with a distant look in his eyes. His fingers traced along the cool metal, admiring the weapon, until he snapped out of the daze.

Holy fuck. Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck. 

He can’t do this. There’s no way he can do this. Especially because Y/N didn’t skip class today-

Y/N.

She’ll have to go too.

FUCK no. 

Breaking out of his trance, he dropped the gu.n, diving towards his phone. Y/N always called his Motorola the “Zac Morris Phone” due to it being quite big for the 90s. She always had the newest trends and technologies. He shakily pulled out the antenna and dialed her number, pushing the buttons while the panic boiled within him. 

Get up.

“NO!” he pressed the phone to his ear, gripping the headboard with his free hand. It was lunch time, she should be able to answer. Why wasn’t she answering? She needed to answer!

He felt a force suddenly grab him by his leg and yank him off the bed. Tate let out a yelp as he hit the hard floor, suddenly feeling dizzy. He groaned, pushing himself up with his hands, reaching for his phone again. He pressed it to his ear, just as he heard a soft, “hey, baby,”

Within an instant, his terror vanished. She didn’t even have to ask who it was, she had that fancy caller ID on her Nokia. “Y/N,” he breathed, feeling a tear fall, “I love you,” 

“I love you too, baby. Skipping class again, I noticed, huh?” she teased, and he imagined the sweet smile on her face 

“You need to leave,” he whispered, standing on shaky legs. Well, forced up. It’s like his body was almost not his own anymore, “Get out of there,”

“No can do, my love, I have bio next,”

“Godammit, Y/N just listen to me!” he snapped, trying to stifle the sob raking at the back of his throat, “Please,” 

She paused, a silence on the line for a moment, “Baby, are you okay? Where are you? I’ll go to you!”

“NO!” he shouted, his unoccupied hand balled into a fist, “Don’t! You can’t! You can’t go here, you can’t!”

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay, baby, just tell me where you are and I can help you through this okay?” A whirlwind of thoughts was going through her head already. He had gotten into another fight with his mom. She hit him. Made him feel worthless. Something. “Are you at home?”

“No!” Tate replied right away, shaking his head even though she couldn’t even see. “I’m… I’m at the diner. The one we always go to for dates.” he lied.

“Shit, that’s on the whole other side of town. I’ll be there as soon as possible, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered, then he gasped looking down. The gu.n was in his hand. He didn’t remember grabbing the gu.n. He had left it on the ground. “I… I love you so much, Y/N.”

“Love you too, sweetie. I’ll be there soon.” 

He hung up first, his hand working on its own as he threw the phone at the wall as hard as he could, “Shit!” he gasped. 

And with that, his eyes glazed over, fingers tightening around the gu.n. Shrugging on a coat, he went down the stairs. 

The last thing he heard was the weak tap of Larry’s knuckles on the office door as he left his house. 

__________

He felt disgusting. 

The bIood wouldn’t come off of him. It wouldn’t go away. No matter how much scrubbing he did, the red continued to stain his clothes. His body.

“No no no,” he wailed, continuing to rub at his skin, beginning to sting in rawness, “Why’d I do that? Why’d I do that?”

Because it felt amazing.

“Shut up,” he wiped at his face; he couldn’t tell if it were tears or just the water, “Just shut up,”

That little girlfriend of yours would look mighty fine with a buIIet through her head.

“No no no” Tate curled up in the tub, tears streaming down his cheeks, “Leave her alone. Please. She did nothing wrong.”

Same with all those classmates you just murd3red. What did they do wrong, Tate? What did they do to deserve that fate?

“Nothing,” he whispered, “They did nothing wrong,”

You’re just an asshole murd3rer.

“I’m a murd3rer!” he sobbed, burying his face in his hands. 

Yes. A murd3rer. That’s what you are.

Tate sat up, reaching out to grab something he had left on the counter. A blade. 

“I won’t let you hurt anyone else,” he said darkly. He took a deep breath, gripping the “Zac Morris” phone he also placed on the counter. He dialed Y/N’s number slowly. Within seconds, she answered.

“Baby what the hell? I walked all the way to the diner and couldn’t find you anywhere-”

“Y/N,” he interrupted, “I just… I just wanted to say…” he gulped, shaky hand running through his hair, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I would have been gone a long time ago if we never met. I just… I love you,”

“Tate, you’re worrying me. Can you please tell me where you are? Let’s talk.”

He shook his head frantically, then remembered he was on the phone, “N-No. I can’t see you right now. I’m sorry.”

“Are you home? I’m at your window right now.”

He panicked. 

He should have known once she realized he wasn’t at the diner she would check his place next. She always went through the window, due to his mother disliking her. Because of that, he always kept the window unlocked.

Shit.

Bolting up from the tub, he had to grip the counter to keep himself from falling. He quickly redressed, rushing into his room, just to come face-to-face with Y/N.

Y/N.

She was seated criss-cross on his bed, arms crossed over her chest. “Baby,”

He knew he should have kicked her out. He should have told her that this house was evil and that she needed to leave, but seeing her on the bed, all comforting and warm and soft… He broke.

Collapsing on the bed. A sobbing mess. Arms going around him, making him feel safe for the first time in days. 

This is what he needed. 

“I did something terrible,” he whispered, nuzzling his face into her neck.

“Did what?” her voice was calm and soothing, but he felt her urgently take his arm. He didn’t need to look, he already knew she was checking to see if he had cut too deep. 

“I haven’t hurt myself in a few weeks,” he mumbled. At one point, it had gotten so bad, that with every week he had gone without hurting himself, she would prepare him a mini celebration, usually baking for him or surprising him with a picnic date or something of the sort. 

“I know,” she said quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his head, “We’re almost to four weeks straight clean,” she brought a hand to the back of his head, stroking his hair, “I’m so proud of you, baby,” 

That made him cry harder, trying to get closer to her. Practically on top of her. Her arms went tightly around his waist, rubbing his back so he could let it all out. He opened his mouth, forcing the words out from the back of his throat, “I did something bad,” 

“Like what, darling? Talk to me,” she said sweetly, concern etched in her tone. 

You kiIIed fifteen classmates. Soon, sixteen.

“I-” he paused, processing what the voice told him. Soon sixteen. 

Soon sixteen?

“You have to go,” he scrambled off of her, feeling empty and suddenly cold. He hugged his body, tears still wetting his pale cheeks, “Now,”

Y/N sat up, confused, “Did I do something wrong?”

“Just… Just GET OUT!” he shouted at her, fingers tangling into his soft curls and tugging at them roughly, “Get OUT!”

“No,” she said simply, crossing her arms over her chest, “What kind of girlfriend would I be if I left you alone like this?” 

“I SAID GET OUT!” He screamed, and he felt it again. That same feeling he felt right before he stepped foot into his school. He opens up a drawer and pulls out a handgu.n, pointing it at her.

“What the hell?!” she gasped, scrambling to her feet, “Baby, put that down,”

“Get out get out get out!” his hand was shaking as he aimed the gu.n at her, “GET OUT!”

“Tate, baby, please,” she whispered, “I’m not leaving,”

Tate always thought she was perfect.

He always heard the phrase that nobody was perfect, but he was convinced that didn’t apply to Y/N L/N. The most loveliest girl he knew. The only light in his dark world. 

It was today he realized what her fatal flaw was. 

She was the unfortunate soul to fall in love with him.

“I… I can’t control it,” he sobbed, bottom lip between his teeth, “I… I can’t control it. You need to go,”

“It’s okay, baby,” she took a step towards him, holding her arms out. Her steps were careful, cautious, not wanting to set him off, “Put the gu.n down and we can talk about this.” 

“Why can’t you ever listen?! Get out get out get OUT!” he took the safety off the gu.n, panic flooding through him. “I can’t control it!”

She gently gripped his wrist, and it was like he was himself again. She lowered his arm, gun to his side. “My sweet boy, I love you so much,” releasing his wrist, she cupped his cheeks, “I’m going to help you, baby. We’re going to get through this, just tell me what happened.” 

He started to tear up again, resting his forehead against hers, “I’m a m-monster,”

“No you’re not. You’re the love of my life, that’s what you are,”

“S-Stop it,” he hated her. He hated how he loved her to bits. “You shouldn’t l-love me. Please leave.” h started to hiccup, finding it increasingly difficult to speak, “Before I hurt you,”

“You won’t hurt me, baby, I know you. You’re my angel, you would never-”

Do it now.

“NO!” he pushed away from her, raising the gu.n to his head. 

Y/N screamed, arms hugging his that was raised, “Tate, baby, please, no!” She used all her strength to keep the gu.n away from his temple. 

With a roar, he raised his hand, smacking her with the weapon. She gasped, falling over, hand cradling his wounded head.

“Stop it!” he yelled, making her jump in fear, “I won’t do it!” he attempted to raise the gu.n towards his temple again, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t allowed to.

The house won’t let him. 

Y/N wobbled back to her feet, “B-Baby, please don’t do this, I love you-” 

His hand slowly raised, gu.n pointing at her again. “Stop it stop it stop it!” He cried, attempting as hard as he could to do something about it but there was simply nothing he could do.

And to his horror, he raised the gu.n to her chest and shot. 

As soon as he pulled the trigger, his body was his own again, watching her crumble to the floor. “No!” he screamed, immediately dropping to his knees and bringing her into his arms. “Y/N? Can you hear me? Y/N!” he felt like he was hyperventilating, pressing his hand to her chest in an attempt to stop the bleeding. She was gurgiling, coughing up blood. “No no no you can’t die! I won’t let you die!” He let out a loud wail, knowing the bleeding isn’t stopping. He reached for his phone, the goddamn Zac Morris phone, ready to dial 911, when she stopped making sound, laying still. 

He paused, thumb hovering over the 9. His eyes went down to her lifeless eyes staring back at him, and he felt like his whole world was crashing down. 

“FUCK!” he screamed, cradling her against his chest, “No no no come back, you have to come back!” he cradled her like a baby, fingers running through her soft hair, “I was supposed to die, not you! Me! Me!” he held her tightly as he sobbed and he sobbed, his heart plummeting. Completely shattered. 

As Constance hummed to herself, unlocking the door of her beautiful home, she opened it with a bright smile. Her sweet boy Tate should be home from school by now. Something to look forward to after that argument with Larry.

And then she was being shoved out the way. SWAT, coming in to arrest her son. 

She shouted and pleaded at them to slow down and stop, to tell her what was going on, to let her talk to him, but it was no use.

As they marched up the stairs, Tate whimpered, pressing a soft kiss to his lover’s forehead then lips, before gripping the gu.n again. 

People say it’s unlikely for high school sweethearts to stay together.

To get married, have kids, grow old together.

It’s unlikely.

But they were different. 

She loved him, that was her flaw. And he loved her, that was his strength.

He decided, as he pulled the trigger, that they would be together forever.

----------

so how'd i do....?

[sohnric]

bad idea, right? – k. sunwoo

pairing: soundcloud rapper! sunwoo x gn! reader

genre: exes to lovers, angst, suggestive. i know this is toxic as fuck dont @ me sometimes i like to write shit like this because it's realistic...

word count: 4k

warnings: a whole lot of arguing, swearing, both of them being toxic and childish, a heated makeout session, overall just..messy. so messy.

a/n: similivinlife u inspired this. not my proudest moment but oh well 😵 the original of this draft was for the fic dancing in my backseat on @rrxnjun that i didnt end up using and revamped for this, so if u see any similarities it is because both fics are mine :P and once again, as always, thank u @csenke my sweetest beloved for beta reading 🤍

“I don’t think you can imagine the things I have to deal with about that track, like, I was literally in the town yesterday and around six people stopped me and wanted the backstory and I don’t know what, and it’s really, really annoying–”

Your voice cuts off, being replaced by a beat that makes acid taste on your tongue and hair stand up all alert, like a feral cat’s would when you try to get close to it, making you immediately turn off the song, letting a scream out into your pillow. There’s a storm of emotions inside of you as you take the phone you’ve been listening to the new song on back into your hand and pull up his number– because you blocked him everywhere else in hopes of never seeing his face again– and shoot him an angry text about the matter.

you [7:21pm]: are you kidding me???

you [7:21pm]: you are really so damn egoistical for doing this 

you [7:21pm]: really don’t think about anyone else except yourself huh

you [7:21pm]: ignore my messages again like the last time and i swear to god i’ll send someone to beat your ass

Fingers quicker than your own thoughts, you hammer down the messages on the keyboard, laced with the fury that’s been shaking with you ever since you learned that he released a new track that included yet another one of your voice messages you sent to him. It was excruciating to listen to, to say the least– your dignity stripped away slowly, piece by piece with the unsettling realization that your personal matters are now out there in the open, for everyone to see and judge, for the whole world to pick apart and analyze. Which is kind of funny, considering the nature of your breakup– you’re not so sure his fans would like what they would find out about him, had they dug deep enough.

Not saying that you are innocent in this matter, of course– you just don’t think it’s really fair to not have the platform to tell your side of the story.

don’t pick up [7:24pm]: feisty one aren’t ya

don’t pick up [7:24pm]: what’s this about

Clenching your jaw as you stare at the messages popping up on your screen only a few minutes after yours get delivered– which is unusual for him, to say the least– you work your way through another angry reply.

you [7:25pm]: your song???

don’t pick up [7:25pm]: did you like it? ;)

A dry chuckle escapes your throat at the last message. Of course you didn’t like it. You weren’t really a fan of the invasion of your privacy. You didn’t like the fact that he once again used your voice without permission, letting the whole world listen to your angry words that were addressed to him and only him. What was there for you to like about the song? His cheesy lyrics? The way he acted like he was way above you, belittling you with the power he had over you with all those voice messages? 

you [7:26pm]: yes i loved the invasion of my privacy a lot, thank you sunwoo

you [7:26pm]: isnt this illegal? ill look into it

don’t pick up [7:27pm]: now you’re being ridiculous.. its just a song y/n :) 

Was he being serious? Just a song? What about the prying eyes staring at you whenever you walk through the campus? What about the whispering behind your back whenever you sit in the school cafeteria? The pointed fingers whenever someone recognises that it’s you– the one that dated the good-for-nothing Soundcloud rapper and then broke his poor little heart. Was it ever really just a song?

you [7:28pm]: you cant be fr rn..

don’t pick up [7:33pm]: ah…let’s just talk abt it then

don’t pick up [7:33pm]: i’ll pick u up at 8? 

Staring at the messages on the screen, you let out another dry chuckle. The skin of your fingertips tingles when you swipe across the surface of your phone, opening the messaging app once again and tapping on the little bubble on the bottom, making the keyboard appear. The gears in your brain turn in swift motion as you try to sound nonchalant in your response, typing and deleting the message again, never getting the tone quite right. 

Responding to your ex boyfriend’s jabs and teasing in person seems to be easier for you, contrary to popular demand– you don’t have much time to think of your answer before the time frame between your arguments would turn too awkward with the silence, so you just say the first thing that comes to your mind. It comes naturally to you, though, and while you don’t particularly enjoy the fury and adrenaline that his smug smirks and jarring words make you feel, the tension his sudden messages built up only makes you more hesitant. 

You haven’t met up with Kim Sunwoo since the day you ended things, and you know damn well there’s a good reason for it.

Seeing him around campus or at parties of your mutual friends is a whole other thing than being with him in a closed space, all alone. It’s been a month since you ended things and while you are fairly certain that Sunwoo is a major jerk that is out to ruin your life, you can’t really tell if you’re actually over the major jerk that is out to ruin your life.

Seemingly letting Sunwoo know that you have the chat open, letting him watch your chat bubble pathetically appear and disappear in consistent time intervals, another quick message is shot your way, making your heart drum against your rib cage in even swifter motions. Running your hand through your hair, you sigh and drop the phone into your lap, helpless.

don’t pick up [7:40pm]: i’ll take it as yes

Sighing to yourself, you stand up from your bed and put on some presentable clothes. You don’t want to give Sunwoo any ideas, and that’s why you only change into clean sweatpants and a tank top, not putting much effort into your appearance at all. You need to send him the signal of being nonchalant– although your stance on the way he uses you in his songs is full of anger and resentment, you don’t want it to seem like you care much about the man himself at all.

Dragging yourself out of your room and putting on your shoes, you bump into your roommate Aeri passing you by with a mug of tea, her hair in a towel as she just came out of the shower. “You’re going somewhere?” 

“Going out,” you grunt.

“Oh?” she hums, leaning into the doorframe, “with who?”

The question catches you off guard. Turning around on your heel, you flash her an innocent smile, brain thinking of every possible solution you could use to not tell her that you’re going out with the exact person you’ve spent the last few weeks grunting over in dismay. “No one important,” you start, when her face morphs into a distressed frown.

“Is it Sunwoo?”

“Look, I-”

“It is fucking Sunwoo! I heard you scream into your pillow just now, I should’ve known it was that prick again,” she grunts, her guess confirmed by the very obvious discomfort on your face, suddenly in a hurry when you try to get out of the house in one swift motion and save yourself from the cross-examining conversation that’s surely about to happen judging by the look in Aeri’s face.

“I gotta go-”

“What about all your ‘I don’t ever wanna see him again’ talk?” she sighs, clearly disappointed with your life choices. 

“Look, it’s about the songs he’s been putting out. He’s being an ass about replying back to my messages and god knows I’m not calling him, or else he’d record it and put it in another song like the freak he is,” you squint your eyes at her, making sure your intentions are clear to your worried roommate. 

“Oh, right, because he’s going out with you just to talk,” she mutters, “when all you two have done since you broke up is argue. Mhm, seems about correct,” Aeri adds, making the situation even worse than it already was, because she’s right, after all– when have the two of you held a normal conversation in the past few weeks? Seeing him tonight might just be the worst idea of your life– right after deciding to date him, of course– and you’re completely aware of the fact.

Opening your mouth to answer with a jarring comment meant to put your roommate back in her place, the words are taken off your tongue when you hear the ring of your phone, the notification on your screen flashing with his messages.

don’t pick up [8:04pm]: youre 5 mins late

don’t pick up [8:05pm]: come out

“Look, I gotta go. We’ll talk about this later,” you mumble as you take your bag off the hanger, Aeri’s disapproving eyes following you as you head towards the door. 

“Right. Have fun,” she ironically sings, knowing very well what Kim Sunwoo’s intentions are for the night. Still, you fakely gag to her comment before you’re out the door and walking down the entryway.

As your figure walks out of the apartment complex, you almost don’t notice the man. You were expecting him to be waiting just behind the door, resting against the wall as he usually did back when you two were dating. The sight that meets your eye shocks you a little when you find him leaning against a 2007 Audi A4, the silver exterior of the car contrasting with the darkness of his clothes, hands folded on his chest as he watches you with an overly-confident smirk. 

“Took you long enough,” he teases as you finally cut through the distance. 

“Didn’t know you were so eager to see me,” you bite back, eyes scanning the vehicle. “Did you finally get a car with that new profession of yours? Or is that another one of your friend’s again?” you point towards the car, making the boy chuckle.

“Mine,” he says, “my ‘good-for-nothing career’ is taking off, as you may have noticed,” he hums, referencing all the arguments you two used to have about his dreams and ambitions, making you wince a little at the comment. You never believed in him ever making it big– you just didn’t think his dreams were ever really realistic– but judging by the way it’s been going for him, you must admit you may have been wrong with your snarky arguments before.

“Well, it’s not much, then,” you mutter instead, pretending to judge the state of his old, used-looking car.

“Gets the job done,” he shrugs as he peels himself off the door, opening the passenger side and sparing you a short glance. “Hop in?”

Sunwoo doesn’t wait for you to sit down so he can close the door after you– instead, he walks around the front of the car to the driver’s side, getting in himself– much to the gentleman he’s always been. Making sure you slam the door shut with as much force as you can, just to anger the man and his new toy, you fasten your seatbelt and watch as Sunwoo winces, but doesn’t mention it when he turns the engine on with a turn of the key and drives off the parking lot.

“Where are you taking me?” you ask, watching as the male snickers to himself. The calmness of his composure makes you oh so annoyed, making you despise every second spent together with him in the small space breathing in his cologne and listening to the songs playing through the speakers, reminding you of the playlist he’d always put on when he was given the privilege of the aux cord.

“What? Are you scared I’m gonna kill you?” Sunwoo jokes.

“Seeming that you’re batshit crazy, one can’t know what to expect from you nowadays,” you grunt, making him cheese with amusement.

“I thought I was just ‘a loser Soundcloud rapper that can’t do anything in life’,” he repeats to you a sentence you uttered out upon your breakup, the emotions getting the worst out of you after the way he’s been treating you. “Would a loser like me kill you? I don’t think so.”

“Very funny, Sunwoo,” you ironically bite back, rolling your eyes at his composure. The fact that he seemingly has the upper hand on you in the conversation makes you falter a little bit. “I just wanted to talk about the songs you’ve been putting out.”

“You wanted to tell me how much you like them? Thank you, I’m flattered–”

“No, you idiot. I wanted to talk to you about how uncomfortable they’re making me feel!” you yell out, making the male wince. 

There’s a momentarily silence in the car as the male drives, the streetlamps disappearing out of sight as he drives away from the city, into more sparse areas. His voice is a little more serious when he speaks up now, the lack of teasing in his tone making shivers run down your spine. “I don’t think it’s that serious, really.”

“Really?” you chuckle. “Because I don’t find it fun when people stop me on the street and ask all about our relationship, Sunwoo. Because I don’t know if you noticed, but you never asked for my permission when you used those.”

The sound of your own voice resonates through your brain, the first voice message he ever used in one of his songs (the one that made him finally more popular, funnily enough) making you sigh out in the darkness of the car. ‘Just.. I dunno, I said sorry, I apologized, I don’t know what more you want me to do.. like, what’s going on? Literally nothing, so like.. can’t we just… move on from this and… fucking let it go?’

“One would think you’d stop sending me these after the first one,” Sunwoo utters out, voice low and almost a little amused, which makes you tip over the edge.

“And I would think you wouldn’t use audio of me being vulnerable with you in a fucking song that everyone would hear, Sunwoo!” 

“Oh, did you mean that part where you called me a hypocrite for hanging out with my friends from high school without telling you? Or the part where you cursed me out after you broke up with me because I dared to text you again–”

“I was trying to pierce things back together!” you yell, making the male quiet down, resulting in taking a right turn towards a dead-end, the road approaching a forest. Not a single soul is to be found around here except the two of you, and when he turns the engine off, but stays staring ahead of him towards the trees, you continue with everything you’ve been holding inside of you– instead this time, your voice is more quiet, not having to scream over the sounds of the car anymore.

“I was apologizing. I was trying to make us work, Sunwoo. And just because you didn’t see it or didn’t have it in you to pay attention to me that night, it doesn’t give you the right to exploit me for your gain and make a fool out of me in front of everyone,” you say, watching as the male chews on the inside of his cheek.

“You are the one that broke up with me,” he says into the silence, “not the other way around.” 

A moment of silence hangs over you two like a heavy jacket. You were well aware of the fact– you broke up with Sunwoo after the night he went out with all of his female friends from high school, not telling you a thing about it before you found out through an Instagram story of one of them. You knew he was being petty, you knew he was doing it just to get back at you– because you never passed out on a chance to make him feel jealous, getting back at him for all the controlling comments he would make whenever you went out to clubs with your girlfriends– but it still drove you up against the wall and made you break.

Maybe you and Sunwoo weren’t made for each other. There’s no denying that you loved each other– you just didn’t really know how to handle your relationship. You never really learned how to handle problems. How to resolve issues. Both of you were too immature for the other, and it would never work– you only came to this conclusion after many tear-filled evenings, but coming to peace with it is still yet to come.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant to this conversation,” you say, shaking your head in disbelief.

The male scoffs, turning his head towards you, meeting your eye. “Did you even listen to the songs?” 

“Of course I did, how else would I know–”

“Then you must have noticed that I’m not making fun of you, or putting you on blast, or belittling you, or whatever you and your friends have said about me for the past month,” he counts on his fingers as he recites the words with an annoyed tone, big eyes bearing into yours. 

“You exposed me being vulnerable.”

“I’m vulnerable in these too!” he urges out, eyebrows furrowing at you in exasperation.

“That’s your fucking choice! Don’t drag me into it!”

While you must admit that none of the lyrics Sunwoo’s ever written about you were lies, or making fun of you or throwing harsh words in your direction, you still feel as if a chunk of you has been thrown out in the open, for anyone to pick apart and poke around. You always told Sunwoo you liked his way with words, and there is no denying that his lyrics, although they were painfully honest, were quite beautiful. If you weren’t the one the songs were about, maybe you’d even like them. Maybe you could give them a listen without feeling like you want to crawl out of your skin. Maybe you could add them to your playlist without feeling ashamed that you’re still thinking about the male, picking apart your relationship like every outsider has been doing since the songs went viral, but instead, finding places where you could’ve done things differently and kept him by your side.

It was hard to listen to his words and see the reflections of your past flashing in front of your eyes like a movie. While you admit that he did the timeline of your relationship justice, you do despise the fact that his words are getting to you so much. 

You don’t like hearing about the things you’ve done wrong. You don’t like listening to him apologize– although he would never do so directly. You don’t like to hear him say that he misses you, because it makes it hard for you to keep your fair distance from him.

“I don’t know what I was thinking… Can you drive me home, Sunwoo? We’re clearly not on the same page about this,” you say, averting your gaze from him towards the window.

“No.”

“Sunwoo, can you please drive me–”

“Not until we talk about this, no,” he says firmly, watching you foam over with fury.

“What else is there to talk about?”

“Us!”

“There’s no us anymore, Sunwoo! And I think it’s the time you come to terms with that and stop abusing our failed relationship for your stupid songs,” you bark, throwing daggers into his skull with your fierce eyes.

“So you get to go and post angry tweets and badmouth me in front of your friends, but when I cope in a perfectly respectful manner, it’s wrong?” he argues, scoffing and shaking his head at you.

“God, you’re unbelievable. You’re comparing two vastly different things–”

“Do you not like the songs because you feel exposed, or do you not like them because I’m saying exactly what you don’t want to hear?” he asks, eyes bearing into yours with such heaviness you feel like you could cut the tension with a knife.

“Like what? That you think I regret breaking up with you?” you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Why else would you pick a fight with me every time I call? Why pick it up at all?”

“Why do you call, then?” you challenge him, chewing on the bottom of your lip. The male leans closer to you, sparks dancing in his eyes when his voice resonates through the car like a low thunder, making the tips of your fingertips buzz and your heart beat faster.

“You know exactly why I call.”

“To make me angry and get me to scream at you?”

“If that means I get to talk to you,” he shrugs, a subtle grin overtaking his features, a churn of your stomach warning you of the dangerous area you just entered.

Eyes never breaking contact with his, relishing in the way his hungry gaze picks you apart, you attempt to conceal your true feelings with an annoyed comment. “This isn’t going anywhere,” you muse, “god, I never wanna see your face again.”

He clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, teasing you. “That’s what you said last time,” he says, “so what are you doing in my car then, babydoll?”

The pet name makes your stomach drop, the lightness in your head coming back to you as you furrow your brows at the male, trying hard to come up with a smart remark. Your brain turns into liquid and there’s buzzing in your ears as you try to focus on staying calm and true to your best judgment, but the moment Sunwoo’s head leans even closer to your face, his words render you both speechless and thoughtless as he mutters a sentence that’s barely louder than a whisper, yet powerful enough to pull you in.

“Stop fighting me for once, will you?”

Your lips are pushed against his with force, the kiss mirroring the essence of being starved of each other for the past month. His plush lips move against yours with the skill that only a man you’ve spent tens and hundreds of nights kissing would acquire, his hand placed on your jaw to steady you, adjusting the pace of his kisses just the way you always liked it. 

A force that’s greater than yourself brings you out of your seat and into the driver’s lap, giving the male better access to your throat as you settle comfortably under your newly acquired human chair. His strong thighs flex under you when you thread your fingers through his hair, bringing him back up to connect your lips together before he breathlessly pulls away, gazing at you with a boyish grin on his face.

“Why did we even break up again?” he jokes.

You reply to him with the same lightness of your tone, shrugging. “Because you were a jealous, possessive prick and I had a short temper that always egged you on?” you say, watching as the male pretends to ponder on the information, humming to himself.

“I think I can put that past me.”

“Can you?” you joke, tracing his cheekbone with your thumb, a sly smirk playing with your lips as you lean over him and press a firm, yet short peck to his swollen lips. “Or will you make another mediocre song about it?”

“Don’t call them mediocre,” he squints at you, eyes tracing your face when your hands slip further down his face to cradle his jaw, thumbs padding his lips.

“I easily outdid you on your own song, Kim Sunwoo.”

“That’s why I add you in, actually.”

“Really?” you snicker, tone full of fake disbelief. His hands hold your sides when you lean over the man and latch yourself to his neck, dragging out kisses up and down his warm skin. “Will you make a song for each of our arguments, then?” 

Teeth scraping the skin of his throat, you find the male humming under you in pleasure and satisfaction. He has you right where he wanted you– and although this is not how you imagined the night to go, you don’t find yourself disappointed with the turn of events. The previous annoyance is still there, but now is shielded by the need in you, the longing for him you can’t really battle whenever he is around.

Settling deeper against his body, you feel the male slip one hand into your hair, tugging at the roots of your hair gently to bring your face back to his, averting your attention away from the love bites you’ve been placing on his skin. 

“Unless you give me another topic to write about,” he suggests, his hungry lips swallowing your reply. 

You and Sunwoo were never really good for each other. Too messy, too turbulent, but too consumed with the other to ever truly let go. Seeing him tonight surely wasn’t the best of your ideas– but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t silently hope the evening would turn out this way.

You and Sunwoo were never the ones to make good decisions when it came to the other one anyway. What’s one another badly calculated step in your relationship gonna do?

[hotdamnhunnam]

On Your Knees

A/N: So as I noted in this teaser thingy, I don’t really intend to be back on tumblr actively, BUT I just couldn’t resist writing for Kai!! This fic will be smutty, while also providing a bit of backstory that I feel he needs and deserves honestly. I fucking love this guy 💗

Pairing: Kai x F!Reader Warnings: smut (p in v, oral), swearing, dom!Kai, dirty talk (but it’s not until Part 2 that shit gets degrading and dark) Word Count: ~3.8k

“On your knees.”

It’s been forever and a day, since you last laid your eyes on Kai. Since then you’ve searched for him across the whole entire fucking sky. Whatever words you had expected him to say… you never would have dreamt of these.

On your knees.

The blood in your veins is on fire; it burns as the blue of his gaze starts to freeze. The blaze rises higher, so desperate to melt down this fortress of ice that you hadn’t believed you would find. Paid the rumors no mind—he’s a bounty hunter or a gun for hire, who would sell his soul to any well-paying buyer, or so everybody agrees—yet you’ve come here to seek out the true heart of gold that you know lies behind. But all gold can be sold and it seems that he’s taken his fees.

And now he’s set on taking whatever he damn well may please.

Your voice escapes your throat pathetically. “Kai, it’s me…”

Cocks his head. Lifts his brow. Silent laughter at what you just said. Obviously. But who you are doesn’t mean shit to him now. “Aye, I see.”

You might just choke. The heart that never once stopped beating for this godforsaken rogue just fucking broke.

He snickers down as if the beating of your heart is just a joke. The curl of those cruel lips holds even more force than his words. And that’s what brings you to your knees and makes you weak, so weak it hurts, as he comes close and rests his palm against your cheek, piercing your soul straight to the core with just one stroke.

Straight to the core. Summon what strength you have to speak, unsure whether the vows that you once made have any value anymore. “I’ve come back to you just as I swore…”

“Of course,” he utters as those ice-blue eyes seek out and strike the deepest truth in yours. “You’ve come to me just as you were before: still nothing but a worthless fucking whore.”

***************

--- Years Earlier ---

“Impressive.”

You smile over your shoulder as he comes up from behind to wrap his arms tightly around you, in a warm embrace that’s all at once affectionate and aggressive. Passionate and possessive. Just as his touch is every night when he pins you to bed and pounds you.

Kai is wildly impressed to see you standing tall at the helm of this ship where he’s found you. The ship is in shambles and beaten down, long since abandoned here out on the plains past the outskirts of town. Still the grandeur of spacefaring vessels like this never fails to astound you. The freedom that they represent gives you hope that someday you and Kai might escape from this planet that’s bound to the rule of a ruthless imperial crown.

Yet this starship is broken and dead. It feels good to stand here for a bit and pretend you can steer it—steer something for once in your life so that you can cling onto what little is left of your spirit, forge on towards the future instead of just having to fear it… but you know it’s best not to let false hope get to your head.

“You’d make a fetching pilot, love,” Kai purrs into your ear while he plants kisses on the soft skin of your neck. “So fucking hot I think you might stir up the engine of this wreck. Won’t be surprised if you just up and fly it off.”

The laughter on your lips melts into his, as you lean back to taste his kiss. “I wish I could. The two of us would fuck shit up in space so good.”

“Aye, that we would.”

For now Kai is more than content to fuck you up against the window of this spacecraft and you both know that’s exactly what’s in store. Know you were put upon this planet just to serve him as his filthy little whore. On any planet you would always be just that and nothing more.

Through the layers of both of your clothes you can feel the thick length of his shaft, pressed up against your lower half. Desperate hands reach into his pants to set him free and grasp at every perfect inch of him that you exist to worship and adore.

“Impressive,” you echo his words from before.

He chuckles in that playfully suggestive, sinful way that always hits you in the slick heat of your core. The man knows he’s massive. He wields his cock like a damn weapon of war.

But with you it’s a war fought for love and he makes it so pure.

It’s just unfathomable to you that this man is fucking yours.

You’ve only ever been to this small corner of the vast expanse of space, yet when you look upon his face, you have no doubt that he’s the most beautiful man in all the universe.

As ever in his presence you’re tempted to fall on your knees. It’s your favorite position: to kneel before him in submission. To swallow his cock till he fills your throat with his delicious release. Kai knows this but is ever the tease. He knows just what you’re wishing, but holds you up right where you are to prevent you from sinking so he can keep kissing your lips, one hand gripping your hips, while the other roams over the parts of your body that nobody else ever sees.

“K-Kai please…”

“What is it you want?” he sadistically taunts, and then animalistically grunts, as he feels the wetness of your cunt.

You can’t speak, at the touch of his fingers exploring the treasures they seek.

So he feeds you the words. “This big cock in that sweet little mouth of yours?”

“Yes—please, yes…!” you gasp, heightening his desire as well as your own as you handle his hardness with long strokes and squeezes, loving how it throbs in your tightening grasp.

Kai loves making you plead, getting off on the way that you moan for him over and over again. Till he’s ready to finally provide what you need. Ready now then he reckons. A wicked smirk crosses his mouth and it threatens to end you this second. “Indeed. Since you’re beggin’.”

At last then he lets you sink down to the floor, where you instantly bury your face in his crotch and start slobbering madly all over his cock because this is what you fucking live for.

He smells and tastes simply divine. Better than any man fucking should. Smash your nose in the fine golden hairs at the base of his dick and get drunk on his scent like it’s wine… swipe your tongue up the length in a sensuous line…God it’s good. The salt and sweetness and the musk with earthy undertones of wood. You know nothing of what gods exist in this world or the next, other than being certain that Kai is a living breathing god of sex.

His fingers tangle in your hair, pulling you closer into him and holding you right fucking there. It’s heaven when he plows your throat. No other feeling could compare. You reach to clutch at the firm muscles of his ass and meet his blue gaze as you eagerly wait for him to unravel and explode. The twinkle in his eye reminds you that you’re his and that he never wants to share, just as he’s yours and no one else deserves the privilege to take his precious load.

You take it down with your cheeks hollowed, throat contracting tight around him as he groans in utter bliss. Your love for him deepens with every drop you’ve swallowed, since the day when you first met and every day and night that’s followed. Didn’t think it would be possible to love him more than this. To be so cock-drunk and so lovestruck… fuck, it’s glorious.

Your worship of him always takes him somewhere far beyond the stars. So fucking far. He loves the whore you are, just as you love the whore he is. The kind of love that heals as deeply as it scars. You’re only whores for one another which is why the love you make is always pure no matter how dirty it is.

He worships you in turn, that filthy mouth on him a fire-breathing sin. Making you burn. Laying his claim to every last inch of your skin and every fiber of your being deep within. Your impulse is to be down on your knees for him but when the man insists on pleasuring your cunt—because for him your pleasure’s always at the forefront—well of course you just give in.

And then he fucks your cunt to pieces to make sure you won’t ever forget that his sex is the reason you’re living.

You can’t begin to wrap your mind around him being so damn perfect. But you sure as hell can wrap your pussy tight around the war weapon that’s pumping deep inside of you so powerfully erect. Both of you like it good and rough, and soon enough, this stranded spaceship’s not the only thing that’s wrecked.

The vessel tilts a little bit with his last thrust; this ship is huge but so is Kai, and he’s apparently so strong that he just rocked the goddamned deck. That shit is so insanely hot you might just die. Combust. Crumble to dust. As you both come down from the high, your pulse is racing and he traces its pace with his parted lips pressed to your neck.

The two of you remain entwined for hours, as you always do. Whispering sweet nothings that you wish could be true. Let’s just pretend this ship is ours. That the universe is ours. That we’ll fly away, and soar the skies someday, just me and you. But nothing is nothing regardless of how sweet it seems, and you can’t fly away from the fact that the universe bows to formidable powers. To forces that devastate dreams, through and through.

To the powers that be. Powers that crush all hopes of ever being free or being happy.

Kai reads your mind as your thoughts drift to that dark place. Knows that it’s time to tell you what he came to say, when he found you aboard this ship today, before he got distracted and ended up fucking your brains out past the farthest reaches of space. It’s not a message that he’s eager to convey. But it’s an order that you can’t really afford to disobey.

Still he wants you to stay, blue eyes begging you to as he softly caresses your face. Yet he knows on some level that dreams of resistance are silly to chase. That the price of just one slice of heaven is steep and there’ll be hell to pay.

He clears his throat and breathes in deep, wishing the price weren’t so damn steep. “Meant to tell you that he’s been… requesting your presence again.”

You had known to expect this. Chosen to neglect this. As if you could run to some empty abandoned starship to hide from the constant demands of that monster who thinks he’s a god among men.

But you can’t and to even attempt this… is useless and reckless. Though Kai referred to the imperial officer’s order as just a request, it was obviously a command. So you stand, smooth your skirt with a trembling hand—knowing Kai wishes he could hold on to you now and protect what is rightfully his—but your honor is yours to defend. No one else’s. All yours in the end.

He knows this too but wishes he didn’t. He hates this part. Watching you leave is the part when he cages his heart, locking it in a block of cement. “So you’ll just run off to him then?”

All too familiar with his defense mechanisms, you don’t halt your rhythm. The whole fiasco of this moment is always the same with him, despite the fact that he must know this isn’t something either one of you enjoys. So rather than rushing to blame him, or letting the swell of emotions inside you erupt into violence, you cast him a side glance, remind him in silence: it’s not as if I have a choice.

Evidently today the cement is much thicker than usual; the next words off his lips at your lack of response come off particularly cruel. “What, lost your dignity and your voice?”

God, he knows how to hit your inner slut, and make her want to die. To bleed her dry. His name escapes your throat in a defeated sigh. “Kai…”

He hates himself right now more than that monstrous fucking officer or anyone at all. Down to his core. Your knees just buckled and he rushes to catch you before you fall, but he’s so broken now himself that you both end up on the floor, down on your knees. The words he’d just uttered were driven by demons he’s struggling to bury—lately there have been a whole lot of these. Pulls you in close and releases his heart from its stone wall, as he dissolves into a mess of regrets and apologies. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Inevitably you end up making love, which is the only answer when words aren’t enough. Soft and slow. But it has to end quickly, because you have somewhere to be. Can’t hold on to the afterglow. Leave before tears overflow. Just a few words then you have to go.

You wish Kai could see things from your point of view. He gives you every reassurance that he gets it; his response earlier was impossibly harsh but he clearly regrets it. Still you can’t help but feel as if he’s disappointed in you. Despite how authoritative the Imperium is and the consequences that are sure to ensue if you stand up against it… he sees your obeying the officer’s orders as something you’re making the choice to do.

And that view baffles you because how could you possibly choose to do something that fucking destroys you?

The officer knows all your weaknesses. If you should ever defy him he’d go after Kai, to hit you where he knows it would hurt you the most and you can’t stand to think or to speak of this. You’d rather die. And your fear of that terrible punishment forces your hand; you must heed his command. Without having to spell this shit out you just wish Kai would understand why.

“I understand,” he says, but he can’t meet your pleading gaze. He’s not quite certain whether what he said is true, and surely you would see right through. Instead looks out the spacecraft window at the distant stars that deign to cast their rays upon this conquered stretch of land. It feels like pity and that shit infuriates him in a million fucking ways. “I understand, I do. It just kills me to think of someone else inside you—”

“Kai, I’ve told you time and time again to trust me that he hasn’t…”

“That’s not even what I meant.”

“It’s what you said.”

With worlds of pain behind his plaintive eyes he reaches out to cup your cheek then smooths his thumb across the creases in your forehead. “What I meant is that I just can’t shake this sense that he’s gotten inside your head. To men like that nothing is sacred. He’s attracted to your spirit ‘cause he knows that he can break it. Wants to wait for you to give your body to him though it’s well within his power to just take it. And whatever little honor you’ve got left down to the final fucking shred… he won’t stop till it’s fucking dead.”

His warning chills you to the bone, because you know it to be true. For better or worse you’ve got some defense mechanisms of your own. Just a few. Brush off his touch and clench your jaw and let a little bit of spite sharpen your tone. “So then what would you have me do? Not all of us can be as honorable as you.”

Now his jaw clenches too. So hard that he might be at risk of breaking it. “The choice is yours, of course,” he mutters, eyes flashing an icy shade of blue. “Just know you’re making it. Don’t hide behind the lie your hand was forced.”

At that you turn to leave him with a scoff, throwing a bitter glare that tells him to fuck off.

But just before you disembark, you catch a glimpse of some metallic thing that glimmers in the dark. The mess of clothes that Kai had flung off of his shoulders when he fucked you up against the window, some hours ago… he’d had a gun tucked in among them and the sight of it right now is fucking stark. You have no reason to be shocked about it though.

He wasn’t hiding it from you; the fact that he’s been packing unauthorized arms is something you already knew. That doesn’t mean it’s something you wanted to know. Seeing this fatal metal thing strikes you as such a blunt reminder of what he intends to do. And you know where it’s bound to go.

Where your gaze and your thoughts wander his always follow. “There’s a strategy session set up for tomorrow,” he states in reference to the folks in your town who believe independence is something that any respectable person would die to defend. Even if it means battling forces against which they can’t even try to contend. “May be able to make concrete plans now that we’ve finally got enough guns stashed in our secret cargo. I already know better than to ask whether you’d want to attend. Guess the answer will always be no.”

The two of you have talked about this countless times before. And every time it turns to fucking when you both can’t bear the talking anymore. It’s irresponsible and immature, but in the rosy throes of youth, it seems to you love is the only fucking truth, the only thing you know for sure. The only thing that’s clear and pure. Love keeps you whole so you don’t fall apart from fear of what your hopeless-looking future has in store.

But you’re not that young, and you can’t just fuck away these pressing issues for that long. He can’t just kiss you to prevent the words from falling off your tongue. He knows it too and so you sit and talk for once and hope shit doesn’t go too wrong.

You admire and love him for being so brave and so strong. Tell him so. But that small band of big-hearted rebels is not somewhere you feel you’ll ever belong. He has to let it go.

And you have to let go of your hope that he might change his mind. That he might decide doing what makes sense to simply survive matters more than misguided delusions of honor chasing after some kind of freedom he won’t ever find.

You tenderly caress his face and feel the warmth of his blood rush to meet your hand. It’s all that you can do to pray his precious blood won’t spill someday fighting a war over some worthless stretch of land. This lovely planet is your home but in your eyes it’s all worth nothing without Kai. “I know how fiercely you believe in your brothers, and in your friends. In the rebellion that all of you have planned. What terrifies me is this feeling that it’s fucking doomed to fail and if you die… I can’t fathom anything worse. Of course I know the choice to fight with them is yours, but for my part I’m not as brave as all the others. I can’t bring myself to stand behind this cause when I’m afraid it won’t be worth it in the end. Please understand.”

Kai leans into your touch and turns his face to kiss your palm, cracking a sad smile to fight the tears that otherwise would come. Unshed they shine like stars hiding behind his eyes so blue. “Aye, I do.”

It’s a lie. Lie as big as the sky. But he hides behind it till it might become true, or at least fucking tries to.

At that it’s time for you to go, fearing that you should have done so hours ago. The sheer pressure of fear shatters you; fact is deep down it shatters him too. He just copes with his hopes and fears in a more complicated way.

“I promise I will always come back to you.” These are the same words that you always say, when you leave—words you fiercely believe—to assure him that nothing could keep you away.

When you leave him with those words Kai usually lets you, eventually once he’s done venting all his pent up rage and dealing every card he has to play. But evidently not today. “You wouldn’t have to. If you’d just stay.”

The way his voice trembles with gentleness, with selflessness, as he abandons every one of his defenses… it fucking kills you when he gets this way. It doesn’t happen often, and it always makes your heart open and soften. “That’s true. Maybe I can keep him waiting just one day…”

His eyes go wide, unable to believe that this is something you would actually decide. It makes him love you even more and suddenly he’s shy and blushing as if he thinks he’s unworthy of the privilege of your touch. “Or just one hour or one minute for I ought to know I shouldn’t ask too much—”

You shut him up with your forefinger pressed against his luscious lip. Provocatively bite your own to make it known that you want him to spend all day fucking you up against this ship.

Last time he did it shook the whole entire deck; maybe this time the sex will be so fucking hot that it’ll set fire to this wreck. Wouldn’t put anything past Kai. It’d be a perfect way to die.

Slamming your back against the window of this wrecked dreadnought, he effortlessly reads your every thought—goddamn that thought just now was a particularly bold one—and from his wicked smirk it’s plain to see that he agrees it would be perfect and insanely fucking hot. “You might want to hold on.”

And you do, clinging closely to him like the sky clings to stars at the coming of dawn. In the bright glare of day they’ll no longer shine through. But that won’t mean they’re gone.

Here tonight, and even if they’re out of sight, come morning light… all the stars in his eyes shine for you. With those stars guiding you, you’ll hold on.

***************

… To be continued in Part 2!

The plan is for Part 2 to explore more of the earlier timeline and also carry forward the opening scene of course, which is when dark degrading dom!Kai will be out in full force 🔥

If you’d like to be added or removed from the taglist for this fic (below), just let me know! Much love to all of you 💖

Masterlist

Taglist for this fic (based on responses to the teaser) – @midnightbabylon @rayslittlekitten @pikapuff-316 @youflickedtooharddamnit @laurfilijames @okin-awa @lovebittenbyevans @jmamas92 @theliterarybeldam @dirtytomatoedwrites @ughdontbeboring @netflix-imagines

[commander-rahrah]

Talking to the Moon

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Word Count: ~5000 (haha.. whoops) Warnings: slightly suggestive for a tiny moment but SFW, swearing, PTSD, trauma, past/implied abuse, fluff, angst, emotional hurt/comfort

archiveofourown: here

masterlist: here

Summary: Set in early Act II. Reader/Tav's origin of their powers is revealed to the party and there is a negative reaction to it. Astarion attempts to comfort reader with his usual routine and provide a "distraction" but gets rejected. He begins to question their own reasoning and feelings, and realizing that he might be feeling something… different.

Note: This is still a GN!Reader/Tav in second perspective with no names or y/n. However, there is some backstory (noble background and a deity) and appearance descriptors (only freckles and hair colour) assigned to the reader/Tav. I really enjoy the dynamic of the moon/stars that I have with my own Tav named Olympia and Astarion and for this particular idea I wrote I felt the backstory was too important to leave out!

I am an avid D&D player and I loooove making OCs (its a problem I have like 30) but this particular backstory and character that this is based off of is very dear to me, so I really hope your enjoy!

.·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨

You were all gathered on the grounds just outside of the Last Light Inn, heading back inside the main doors with Jaheira and Isobel. The safe haven protected from the forces of the Absolute — thanks to you and your companions quick action. The remaining Tieflings and the other inhabitants of the inn still shaken from the sudden attack, but resting safely inside. “I’m thankful you were all here to stop the attack.” The cleric of Selûne said softly. 

Isobel then looked over her shoulder at you, stopping for a moment as she looked you over from head to toe. “And you... I recognize my goddess’s powers within you — but they are so different from mine. Your magic is not born out of devotion for her.”

“What is she talking about?” Shadowheart asked from your side, whipping her head to you so fast her black braid flung out behind her.

You swallowed. You had been dreading this conversation. Fearing the moment it came out. “Yes, I, uh—,” You stumbled over your words, your tongue suddenly heavy in your mouth. “I was blessed by Selûne as a babe.”

Isobel raised her eyebrows, her lips stretching into a slight smile. “A blessing indeed. A drop of Selûne's own powers lives within you. You use it well.”

You bowed your head, your cheeks flushing a bright shade. Embarrassment and chagrin flooding you as every single member of your party turned to face you — varying reactions on all of them.

You eyes were still on your boots as both Isobel and Jaheira bid you a goodnight, telling you of your own rooms upstairs before disappearing amongst the many doors of the inn. The rest of your party quiet — not even Astarion had opened his mouth to fill the silence with a comment or joke.

The voice who broke it was the one you had dreaded the most. Shadowheart’s voice was a harsh whisper, but it still cut you deeply. “I cannot believe you. You’ve been lying to me this whole time!”

You winced, your teeth biting into your cheek, “I wasn’t lying. I just… didn’t tell you.”

“You just didn’t tell me that you are blessed with divine magic from my goddess’ enemy.” The dark-haired cleric scoffed, her nose crinkling so much that the scar across her face shrank considerably.

You thought of all the nights around the campfire sharing soft laughs, the early mornings that you helped braid her hair. This was why you had been avoiding it. You didn't want to lose that. Shadowheart had become a friend, an ally. “I didn’t want to ruin anything, we’ve grown so close and… it’s not like I worship her. I don’t say my prayers to her every night, I was just a babe—“

“Well I do!” She raised her voice, a few passing Harper’s stirring in shock at the outburst before shuffling away. “In Shar’s name. This is unbelievable — I’ve been mere feet away from you this whole time.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But you kept your devotion to Shar a secret and when it did come out all of us have been nothing but accepting.” Your eyebrows were furrowed together in worry. This was going exactly as you had dreaded. You’d hope your friendship would be something she would consider however…

“Alsoooo,” Astarion drawled, “The last time you had a disagreement with one of us, we woke up to you holding a knife to Lae'zel’s neck. Can you really blame them for not bringing it up?” He wagged his fingers at her, a single white brow raised.

Her nostrils flared as she flashed a look to the vampire, before turning back to you. “This is no disagreement. This is wrong, this is against everything my lady stands for."

“Shadowheart, please. You are my friend—“ You began to beg, but the cleric cut you off.

“No. Not anymore. We will continue to travel together to reach Moonrise Towers. We will get rid of these tadpoles and then we are done.” She spat.

“I—,” You choked, unable to think of what else to say. How else to defend yourself. You realized that Shadowheart’s mind was made up, no matter what you said right now.

“Shadowheart,” Astarion cut in again, stepping in front of you almost protectively. “Enough.” His voice a low growl.

Gale and Wyll stepped forward too, concern etched on their face. Karlach’s own features were torn — her eyes flitting between you and Shadowheart with immense worry. Lae'zel remained in the back, her muscular arms crossed over her chest as she observed silently.

The dark haired cleric shook her head, a loud breath escaping her before she stormed off up the stairs. Her armor and weapons clanking loudly as she stormed away.

“Princess, come on!” Karlach shouted after her, starting up the stairs. But she paused for a moment, stretching out to grab your elbow gently. “It’ll be alright giggles, ok? Don’t worry about it.”

You could only nod as you watched the Tiefling chase after her, both of them disappearing upstairs.

“Well, that was hard to watch.“ Wyll murmered, offering you a pained smile.

You waited for the sound of a door slamming above, before turning to head up the stairs yourself. You felt your throat tighten as you fought to keep your tears at bay. "Today was a lot. I think I’m just going to find my room now.” You barely waved goodbye as you took the worn steps two at a time, disappearing from your group without a backwards glance as a few tears broke free.

“Wait, do you need—“ Gale began to trail behind you, his brows knitted together and face pained. 

“Let them be, Gale.” Astarion waved a hand to stop him pursing you up the stairs. “Let them drop the mask for a while. If you go barging in there right away, they will paint a smile on their face and act like everything is fine.”

A look of surprise crossed his face before the wizard let his shoulders slump, “You’re right.”

A sound of delight escaped the vampire, before he cupped his pale fingers around his pointed ear, “I beg your pardon, could you say that again? I didn’t hear you.”

Gale let out a large huff, before he admitted “I said you’re right. I’ll let them be.”

“Oooh, Gale. If you’re trying to woo me, at least buy me dinner first.” Astarion pretended to twirl his hair, before flashing him a wicked grin.

Gale pushed his face into a palm, letting out another exasperated sound. “Gods, save me.”

• • •

You were sat on the bed, your back pressed into the back of the headboard with your knees pressed to your chest. It had been a few hours before the tears had finally stopped, leaving you feeling even more exhausted and drained. You weren’t sure when the news of what lived inside you would come out — but it went exactly as you feared it had. The betrayal and anger on Shadowheart’s face was repeating over and over in your mind. The rest of your party had seemed accepting… but it was hard to tell what exactly they were thinking.

A sudden knock at your door had you scrambling to right yourself, wiping at your damp cheeks and eyes with the back of your hands. You fixed your shirt, and stretched out your legs to look as if you were just relaxing on the bed before letting out, “Come in.”

Your voice sounded much more meek than intended.

Astarion poked his head through the door, a strange combination of both hesitation and curiosity painted across his pale face. “Hello pet,” He purred, lingering in the door way for a moment.

“Astarion, hi.” You sat up a little straighter, surprised to see him. “Come in.”

He shut the door softly behind him, “Feeling any better? Or did Shadowheart come find you for an encore?”

You shook your head, “No, she’s stayed in her room — thank the gods. I don’t think I could handle another moment like that tonight.”

His eyes betrayed him for a moment, glancing to the floor, “Yes, well usually I would say it’s entertaining watching someone else’s drama unfold… but I didn’t enjoy that.”

He swayed over to the bed, sitting on the edge. Not close enough to touch, but you couldn’t help the small fluttering that erupted in your belly as he sat next to you. How casual it seemed, how easy it had become.

You shoved the thought away, instead scrunching your mouth up as you spoke, “I was avoiding it for a reason. I feel terrible... I shouldn't have hidden it for so long.”

“Well, if you were looking for a distraction…” He stretched his hand over to you and drew lazy circles on your knee before dragging it up to your thigh. “I can be of some assistance.” A seductive smile curved his lips, his eyes darkening. 

Your expression crumbled as the crack you had just soothed in your chest starting to form again. “That’s all you see me as, isn’t it?”

“What?” He asked, his hand freezing on your leg.

“Sex. That’s the only way you see me.”

“I—“ His eyes widened with bewilderment, before he blinked at you. “I don’t— I mean.” He continued to stammer, his fanged mouth hanging open in genuine shock.

You let out a sad sigh, your eyebrows furrowing like you were in pain. You were. The ache in your chest was growing tenfold, the familiar feeling of your heart crawling up your throat returning. “I’m not in the mood Astarion. If you want to feed, do it and go.”

He instantly pulled his hand away at your rejection, clutching it to his chest with the other one. He didn’t give an apology, nor did he seem interested in your offer to feed. His red eyes were blinking animatedly, as if confused. Before he bowed his head and got off the bed quickly. Then the sound of the door clicking softly behind him an instant later.

You couldn’t hear his steps in the hall even if you wanted to — so instead you rolled over onto your side, curling your limbs into yourself as you screwed your face up once more and cried.

• • •

Astarion didn’t know what to think. What to do.

No one had ever rejected him before. This is what he did, this is what he was built for. To manipulate. To seduce. 

To play the dazzling, charming distraction. He used to target the lonely, the distressed and upset… it made the hunt so much easier. And Cazador used to praise him for it — he said the miserable and desperate tasted so much better. 

But you weren’t like those easy targets. You weren’t simple, and he should have known better. You were complex and contradictory — not something he appreciated in a target. But something he could appreciate in a fellow person. Things were becoming to muddled, too confusing.

Gods dammit, he had been so foolish. His entire plan could be falling apart now — you sitting up in your room alone mulling everything over. 

But what really bothered him wasn’t the idea of his plan falling apart. That his protection from his old master could be gone by morning, leaving him behind to suffer the consequences.

No, what really bothered him, what he was really afraid of was how upset you’d been. That he was the cause of that.

Astarion's skin felt hot and crawling as he realized he had treated you as others had treated him all these years. Trying to use your desire as a way to override any other feeling. To seduce you into acquiescence, to fool you into thinking you needed only him. It disgusted him, what he’d done. Shame coursed through him and his fingers clenched onto his leather clad knee. 

He was grateful for the little dark attic he had found above the barn — grateful to be away from the prying eyes of the rest of the party. He couldn't explain this to them, he wouldn't. 

A splash of wet splashed onto the back of his hand and he realized he was crying. He'd forgotten he could do that. He'd stopped so many years ago, numbing and willing himself so that none would come. So that despite the pain or hurt he was feeling, his tears would not be there to give Cazador anymore satisfaction. His master didn't need anymore physical evidence of his anguish — his screams and blood and broken body was enough. He had stopped crying years ago. Until tonight. 

Wiping his face, he took a steadying breath he knew he didn't need. And then again for good measure. He wasn't really sure what he was doing, but he stood up with a slightly trembling body.  He needed to fix this. For you. For himself. 

Before he knew it he was back outside of your door, his fist hovering just above the painted wood. His other hand was picking at the seam of the side of his leather pants nervously. His red eyes stared at the little tray of food he'd brought up for you — resting on the hallway table as he waited to see if you would even let him in. A peace offering he'd thought. A way to get his foot in the door before he could… explain. Apologize. 

Chewing his lip, he finally let his knuckles rap on the door. He lingered for a moment, before opening it slightly. The small crack in the door angled enough to reveal you still laid in the bed, your back to the door as you were curled up on the mattress. Guilt flooded through him all over again. 

“Gale, I told you I’m fine—"

He pushed the door open a little more, just enough so that is creaked to get your attention. He only poked his head through, enough for you to see his pale face as you strained your neck to look over your shoulder. 

“Oh. It’s you.”

Astarion swallowed at the sound of your disappointment. It was not something he ever wished to hear again if he could. His lashes fluttered against his cheeks as he looked down, unable to look you in the eye, “Will you let me try again?”

“What?”

He finally looked up, his red eyes round and soft, “Let me try again.”

You gave him a hard to read look, before nodding curtly. 

Astarion grabbed the door, not closing it fully but just enough that the lock bounced softly back. His pale knuckles knocked again gently, before he heard you let out an exasperated breath. “Come in.”

A sheepish, tight lipped smile spread across his face as he stepped fully into the room and looked at you. You were sitting up in the bed now, your arms crossed over yourself with an unimpressed look on your face. He used his foot to close the door quietly as he held his peace offering behind him. 

“I won’t bother you, if you don’t want company. But I noticed you hadn’t eaten. I brought you dinner.” He pulled the tray out from behind his back, showing it to you. 

“Oh.”

“And a glass of wine.” He placed everything carefully onto the nightstand, before backing away towards the door. “It’s disgusting.”

A soft laugh escaped you, “Thank you." You took a small sip of the wine, before twisting your face. “Ugh — you are right, that is disgusting.”

“I’m almost certain I saw those Tiefling children your so fond of mixing it themselves. Pray this is a part time gig and they don’t become bartenders in the future.”

The two of you let snickers out through your noses, before the room turned quiet again. “Thank you for bringing this up. I mean it.”

“You’re very welcome.” He shuffled his feet, unsure if that was a dismissal or not. But he also found himself not wanting to leave. His hands were behind his back, his own fingers intertwining and squeezing tightly. “I’m… I’m sorry for how you were treated today. It wasn’t fair.”

Your eyes flashed down, your brow crinkling. “It’s okay—“

Astarion shook his head profusely, “No, it’s not. You didn’t deserve that. You don’t owe any of us anything — not your story, or … or anything else. What you decide to tell us, what you trust us with... that is your choice.” 

“Thank you. It’s not that I don’t trust you all, I do… I just.”

He cut you off gently, “You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I know.” Your finger was playing with the rim of the wine glass in mesmerizing circles, over and over. “I do, trust you though.”

His red eyes lifted from your hands, to give you a quizzical look, “Now, why in the heavens would you do that?”

Your laugh was music to his ears. Full and bright. You shrugged, putting the glass back onto the nightstand — abandoning it and the dinner for another moment. “I just do.”

The vampire couldn't stop the purr that escaped his lips, “Hmmm, other members of our merry party would disapprove.”

“Probably. I think they disapprove of most of my interactions with you.” You said quietly, picking at the blanket you were sat upon. 

The room filled with silence for a moment as you thought. “I was just a baby… when it happened. I was born ill — so weak and tired, it was almost like I was a dead. My parents threw all of their power and wealth at every scholar and healer they knew to try and cure me.”

Astarion’s eyebrows shot up as you spoke, joining you carefully on the bed. Much further then his previous visit. His hands settled onto his own lap as he listened. 

“Nothing would work. And with every failed attempt, father become more and more distant. And mother became more and more desperate, hoping for any miracle she could find. She began to pray to any God that would listen, traveling to their shrines and statues. One night, my mother had fallen asleep crying while kneeling next to me. She said she awoke to a breeze and silver light — and the most beautiful woman she had ever seen was standing over us. Her hair was set in long silver waves, a flowing dress cascading over her curves, and a small smile on her lips as she watched the scene of mother and child. 'Selûne?' My mother asked, and the ethereal woman merely smiled again. 'I heard your prayers and felt your tears as if they were mine own. No mother should know the loss of their child.' As I slept, she touched my hair lightly, telling my mother I was pure and good-hearted. Selûne told her that she would help me, but that I would have a calling that would lead me away from my normal life of nobility and comfort. After my mother agreed, a white light shone through the Goddess’ hand, spreading into my hair, into my body and creating an aura around me. My hair turned silvery white, and star-like freckles began to shine all over my skin.” Your fingertips danced across your face, touching the skin that showed the blessing. 

Astarion was gobsmacked, his eyes lingering over your silver hair and the freckles that dusted your nose and cheeks. His mind struggling to keep up with the information. “So, what Isobel said is true… a drop of Selûne's power lives in you?”

You nodded your head weakly, avoiding his stare. 

“Gods… Why tell me this?”

You only offered a soft smile, “I wanted you to know.”

A thousand thoughts were running through his mind — most of them selfish. He'd prayed to the Gods every night for years, asking, begging, willing them to save him. To give him a swift death. Anything. And never received an answer back. But Selûne had for you.

But now that he knew you, he could think of no one else who would deserve it. He couldn't bare to think what the world would have been like if you had been taken away so early. Where he would be now if he hadn't met you on the cliffside after that damn ship. “Well, it seems that you truly are walking poetry, darling. Our little moon shining a light on all of us.”

He swore he saw you bottom lip tremble at the name. 

"Let me tell the others, when I'm ready?" You asked quietly. 

"Of course." 

The room fell into silence again, but it was more comfortable then before. Astarion found himself lost in his thoughts — a confusing melody of haunting memories, and wishful thoughts. 

“You never answered my question before.”

“Hmm?” Your voice had him blinking back to reality, turning his body to look over at you. 

“About… how you see me.” Your eyes were big and vulnerable. They tugged at his heart, at the knot in his stomach that formed with the thought of you.

“Oh," Was all he could get out. 

“I—I just,” Your voice was feint and nervous, your eyes studying the features of his face intently. 

“Don’t ask now.” He blurted, his fingers clenching into a tight fist on his lap. 

“What?”

“Give me time. Please.” He begged gently. 

Your eyes softened, before you nodded in silent understanding. “I can do that.”

Relief flooded him, his fingers relaxing and shoulders drooping. 

You seemed content on letting it drop, instead grabbing the plate of food next to you and balancing it on your knee. “Where is my roommate for the evening?” You asked, before taking a bite. 

“Lae'zel? Oh she deemed the lodgings unacceptable and that she would rather die than join us soft-skinned weaklings in a room. She set up a tent out front in the dirt.”

You finished chewing, before grinning. “That… checks out.”

“So you get a luxurious evening alone. At least one of us does." He feigned a frown, before waving his hands dramatically, "I get to spend the night listening to Gale and Wyll snore.” He rolled his eyes before speaking again. "I will say charming Wyll did volunteer to sleep on the floor so I could have half the bed, bless him.”

“You could stay here if you want. To sleep, I mean.” You offered easily, pushing the food around your plate with the fork as you waited for him to reply. 

He blinked again, caught off guard by your proposal. “Oh, that’s not necessary—“

“Astarion, really? You’ll share with Gale, but not with me?” You teased, a single eyebrow arching. 

He stared at you for a moment, dumbfounded before nodding, “Alright. Eat your dinner. I’ll get my things.” 

• • •

Slinking into his room, Astarion left out a sigh of relief as he realized it was empty. He needed a moment to ground himself and stop his spinning head. He had no idea what today would bring, but this whirlwind of a night was not at all what he had expected. He started grabbing his night clothes he had laid out on the bed in his shared room with Wyll and Gale, stuffing them into his rucksack. 

But he bristled as he heard steps approaching, looking over his shoulder to see  his two fellow male companions enter the room. 

“Ahhh, they you are Astarion. We wondered where you scurried off too.” The wizard spoke, tucking the book he had in his hands into the crook of his arm instead. 

“Oh, I found better company than the likes of you.” He shot back sarcastically — earning an eye roll from Gale. 

“Did you now?” The warlock asked with eyebrows raised, before bending down to his own pack to untie his bedroll from it. 

“Don’t bother with the bed roll tonight, Wyll. You’ll have to keep Gale warm tonight.”

"Where are you off too?" Gale asked, his brows furrowed. 

Wyll studied him carefully, before offering a little smirk to the vampire. “Off to sleep under the stars?”

“Amongst them actually.” Astarion replied, keeping his face perfectly neutral. As if to not give anything away.  

Wyll gave him a knowing look. “You be a gentleman, yeah?”

“Aren’t I always?” He said with a little bow before grabbing his bag and slinking out of the room. 

• • •

Your room was very quiet when he emerged back in it. Your empty dinner plate was sat on the edge of the nightstand, the glass of wine mostly untouched expect for that first single sip. The candles were starting to flicker with their last remaining life, the glow now a deep set orange instead of a bright yellow light. 

You had stepped behind the privacy screen as you changed, only the outline of your figure  could be seen through the sheer material stretched across the wood. He’d seen your naked body before, as you’d seen his — several times by now, actually. But he respected the privacy  — appreciated it actually. There was something quite raw about getting undressed in front of someone like this. Something vulnerable.

Something he wasn’t quite ready for.

Realizing he had been staring at that screen and your outline, he sat his bag down on the dresser and began sorting through his things. He heard the soft pads of your feet across the worn floorboards, before the creak of the bed as you laid in it. He turned around with a fake cough, his own night clothes in his pale hands. “May I?” He jerked his head towards the screen.

You simply nodded, turning on your side away from the screen to face the ajar window instead. 

He changed efficiently, tugging on the delicate breezy nightclothes before padding bare feet to place his folded clothes on top of his rucksack. He swallowed thickly as he turned to survey the room, to the large space you left in the double bed — intended for him. 

"I don't bite." You muttered with your eyes still closed. Like you could sense him hesitating. 

He barked a laugh, before moving to his side. "Cheeky pup." He slid into the bed, savoring the feeling of the soft sheets on his skin, the way the mattress hugged his tired and sore body. He hadn't slept in a real bed in ages, in well — he couldn't remember how long. He thought he had gotten used to the small comfort of his bed roll and tent these past weeks, especially when he compared it to the stone floor of Cazador's dungeon and kennels. But remembering the simple luxury of this room and bed would put his tent to shame once he returned to it. His pale fingertips rubbed the soft fabric covering his body, committing to memory. 

You adjusted yourself next to him, moving your pillow in a way that wafted your scent throughout the room. It made his movements stop, frozen as his senses were overwhelmed by you. You smelled sweet and warm — inviting. And it had nothing to do with the scent of your bouquet that usually clouded his mind. Licking his lips, he forced himself to look away from you — instead looking up at the dark ceiling, as the last flickers of the surviving candle in the room began to fade away. 

"Good night, Astarion." You mumbled into your pillow, your voice already sounding heavy with sleep. 

"Sweet dreams darling." He whispered back. 

You had fallen asleep next to each other before, of course — laid out in that forest or on the sands of a beach after wondering off away from the others to have your way with each other. 

This... this was different. 

He couldn’t will himself to fall into a trance. No matter how hard he tried. Instead he was still staring up at the grays and blacks of the dark ceiling, becoming more and more increasingly aware of your breaths and the thrum of your heartbeat. 

Only once he had heard them slow down, only once he knew you were in a deep sleep, did he chance looking over to you.

Your face was peaceful, serene as you slept. He wasn’t sure if it was actual moonlight trickling in, or just the cleric Isobel’s protective aura that had cast the blueish white light into the room. But either way it was resulted in Selûne’s power, and even in your sleep you were basking in it. The freckles that marked your checks and nose were almost glittering in the light. The silvery white of your hair shimmering. Your soft lips slightly parted as you dreamed.

Gods, you were beautiful.

Astarion closed his eyes as he was suddenly reminded of his times stuck in those wretched dungeons in the palace. Not what torture or pain he had to endure there. No. For once, that was buried away.

No, instead he recalled what he stared at to get him through those never ending sessions of abuse and torment. 

The night sky through those barred windows. 

The stars, somehow still blinking and winking from him through the city smoke and light. 

And the moon. That beacon of light in the black sky — constantly changing its shape and colour. But it was always there when he needed it to be. When he needed to look up, to be somewhere else, to think of something else — the moon was always there.

Shining. Listening. Understanding.

His eyes opened again, staring again at your tranquil face, your slumbering form curled into the soft bed and sheets.

You were so much more than he had bargained for. A companion blessed with a drop of an actual god’s power. He should have been thrilled — that his plans for protection and well-deserved justice on Cazador was even easier to achieve than he first thought. 

No. Instead he realized he was feeling something else. Something… new.

That even though he had missed the sun, longed for it for two hundred years, delighted in the colours it cast the world in it. That even though he could finally enjoy the sun's beam, and bask in the it's warmth and golden glow. Despite all that, he knew that the sun would never understand him like the moon did.

Oh shit.

He had royally fucked up his plan.

Part II: here

[flipidifloppody]

𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝐦.𝐬

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬‼️- angst, fluff, smuttt, abuse, crying, violence, toxic relationship, jealousy, not eating, mentions of sh and suicide, swearing, NSFW.

fem! reader , matt sturniolo.

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 -

Boston Massachusetts,

two best friends with two different backstories. One blinded by love that she can't see it going down hill. The other head over heels for HER but is too scared to admit it. But what will happen when the toxicness catches up on the relationship?

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

it was not long ago that i got a message from my boyfriend, Finn. It was an unusual relationship. it was like i loved him to much and he just used me as a side girlfriend. but he still loved me, right?

the message read,

"hey, still up for tonight?"

i quickly grabbed my phone and typed back "yeah ofcourse i'm excited!"

it was left on read so i just shut my phone and continued getting ready for tonight before i got a message from matt. my bestfriend since i could remember, but also the boy that finn dispised.

apparently he was to 'clingy' or 'touchy' with me. i always thought it was normal though? i mean matt is a very touchy person but that's just the way he is.

the message read "hey, haven't spoke in a while, you okay?"

i replied with a quick "yeah but gotta go have plans with finn ttyl?"

he reacted to the message with a thumbs up.

-

i pulled on a fresh love hoodie (chris' brand matts brother) and the matching sweats to it, since we're only going to finns house to 'hang out'. i ran a brush through my hair to neaten it up abit before quickly plugging my phone into the charger to charge it up for a bit.

after it was fully charged i hopped into my car and was quick to put it in reverse pulling out of my driveway.

-

i was around five minutes away from finns house, like basically around the corner from it. the ending from 'les' just fineshed and i pulled into his driveway, getting out of the car and giving his door a quick light knock

he opened the door with a slight smile on his face, almost smug. i just ignored it and walked into the house behind him.

it was quite a basic house but it was big. bigger than my house and most of the houses on the street, he didn't really know how to decorate it though i could tell that.

he led me to the couch to sit beside him, to watch a movie but all he really did while it was playing was be on his phone supposedly texting his 'friends' but i know for a fact it wasn't

i tried to ignore the fact that he was literally not paying attention to me whatsoever, so i just pulled out my phone and saw a message from matt, i didn't see it before since my phone was on so not disturb because i actually wanted to spend time with finn.

"you having fun?"

i stared at the message for abit before responding

"not really he's basically ignoring me"

i stared at the bubble to show he was typing and zoned out staring at it, not realising he had sent a text and finn was trying to talk to me

"y/n? y/n?!" he basically shouted taking me surprise and lifting my head up

"hm?" i reply softly to then realise he was looking through the messages with me and matt, i quickly looked up in confusion and tried to grab it of him.

"wtf are you doing finn?!"

he ignores me and continues to swipe through the messages

"i'm definitely ignoring you aren't i?" he said with an angry- ish tone

"i-i'm sorry it's just.. you where on your phone the whole time i thought you were..?"

he shakes his head and shuts my phone off and stares at me

"if you wanna talk to him that much while WERE together then go be with him. but trust me that would be a big mistake wouldn't it?" he said adding more pressure on his grip on my chin forcing me to look up at him

"no- no finn it's really not what you think i promise.. we're just friends"

"hmm are you now" he says with a cooing tone. i just gulp and sit there feeling guilty over myself even though i wasn't the one in the wrong here.. it was him. what did i do wrong?

"see have nothing to say now do you. i'm your boyfriend y/n not stupid little matt got me?"

i gulp and swallow "i know your my boyfriend i only see matt as a friend i swear"

he nods in approval before harshly softening his grip on my chin and placing a kiss on my lips softly and then sitting back down on his phone acting as if nothing had happened.

-

it's been around 2 hours since i got home, i went home coz i said i felt sick, i really didn't though i just wanted to get away from him he always controls me and it gets really frustrating sometimes. i know he's my boyfriend and all but cmon i've known matt for ages ofcourse i see him as only a friend.. right?

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

a/n: this one is only short since it's the first part but there will be longer parts part two might be out tomorrow or the day after i don't know since it's gonna be longer than usual. i don't plan on doing any more series just yet but maybeee😽

@sturnsfav @strawberrysturniolo @hoesformatt @lovingmattysposts @lovingchrissposts @sturniccz @sturnioloslurps @sturniolo @sturniololoverr

[kimpossibly]

⋆♱✮♱⋆ 𝘿𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙈𝘼𝘿𝙄𝙎𝙊𝙉 𝙈𝙊𝙉𝙏𝙂𝙊𝙈𝙀𝙍𝙔 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉𝙎 !

𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙍'𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀! new theme, new obsession, new me! i'm really excited about this one. i started and finished ahs coven in a few days and holy LORD i love it. i also go to school in new orleans, so it's definitely rlly special to me :) 𝙋𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂: madison montgomery x fem!reader 𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎: some nsfw headcanons toward the bottom, i'll give a warning before the transition. swearing, use of magic (reader can charmspeak), mentions of death/murder (if you've seen ahs coven you have an idea of what to expect) 𝙍𝙀𝙌𝙐𝙀𝙎𝙏: none, this is totally self indulgent haha!

𖤓 she would initially take interest in you if you were from a rich family—maybe the mob or something, maybe you guys just had money. but if we're going with the mob route, she'd ask sooo many times about the fucked up things you've seen.

"have you ever seen someone get shot?" "uh...no." "ugh, boo. what kind of mob family are you?"

𖤓 she'd kinda do what she did with zoe in the first episode—she'd find you kind of interesting and be like well. guess this is my friend now.

"i'm dangerously low on entertainment. and a roommate. i guess you'll have to do." "...thank you?"

𖤓 the first time you guys would hang out one-on-one would be when madison gets cabin fever and breaks you guys out to get your nails done.

𖤓 it's here that madison gets your whole backstory out of you, including (but not limited to) how you discovered that you were a witch, why you were sent to robicheaux's, and what powers you have.

𖤓 i imagine she'd be fascinated by charmspeak. once you tell her how it works and what it can do, she's already imagining all the things she could do if she had that ability—all the roles she'd have, all the money she'd make, all the things she could get. at that moment you become more than just new entertainment to her. you become useful.

𖤓 you'd go shopping after and she'd be grabbing things left and right. dresses, fur coats, jewelry. if she likes it even a little, she's grabbing it and adding it to the pile.

"you're seriously going to buy all of this?" "nope. you are."

𖤓 she asks you to charmspeak the cashier into giving it all to you guys for free. when you refuse, she's not angry, really, just...surprised? maybe a little confused by you. you have this insane ability to get literally whatever you want, and yet you adhere to a strict moral code? she just doesn't get it.

𖤓 while she doesn't make you use your charmspeak, she does set a small fire to distract the employees long enough to let you guys sneak out with all the stuff.

𖤓 which then, of course, results in a massive fashion show back at robicheaux's. severely disappointed by your wardrobe, madison forces you into some of the clothes from your shopping escapade, and even some of her old things. she's surprisingly generous with the amount of things she'll just give you.

"i like this one." "keep it. i wore it to the teen choice awards two years ago, so i can't be seen in it again." "says who?" "says fashion, y/n. the media. the press. rewearing an outfit is like writing 'i'm poor and irrelevant' on your head in permanent marker." "oh. of course."

𖤓 from then on, you guys are attached at the hip, so much so that nan and queenie take to calling you madison's assistant behind both of your backs.

𖤓 one weekend madison forces you to come to a frat party with her (and i mean forces—you'd been to a couple frat parties at home and hated them, so she has to do some hardcore convincing to get you to go with her).

𖤓 and going to a frat party with madison is definitely a unique experience. from the moment you step in the door, all eyes are on her—madison montgomery, the movie star. and there you are, trailing after her like a lost puppy. it's slightly humiliating, but madison does her best to be accommodating.

𖤓 and by accommodating, i mean she navigates you two to the drink table and starts pouring shots for the pair of you. you both take one, then two, and that's where you stop. madison does not. she takes a third, then a fourth, and then drags you onto the dance floor with her.

𖤓 the dance floor is where a new side of madison comes out. she dances like absolutely no one but you is there, moving around in an energetic but still graceful way. if you're not a big dancer, she'll put her hands on your hips and gently guide you to sway with the beat.

𖤓 she'll definitely get more touchy when she's drunk on the dance floor, holding your hand and moving your hair for you when it gets in your face. your faces will get so close without either of you even realizing, and then you'll burst into laughter for no reason.

𖤓 but then some frat guy would appear and start flirting with madison and she'd kind of float away to dance with him. your mood definitely takes a bit of a hit at that, but you're buzzed enough that you can dance on your own without feeling lonely.

𖤓 you keep an eye on madison as much as you can, but eventually she and the guy disappear. you stop dancing and move to look around, suddenly worried. eventually you find her, stumbling up the stairs with her hand attached to the guy. absolutely not.

𖤓 you catch up to them, stopping madison before she can get to the top of the stairs.

"hey, madi, time to go." "ha, sure. you go ahead, i'll catch up with you." "no, madi, it's time for both of us to go." "look, i get that it's past your fucking bedtime or whatever, but i'm having a good time. what the hell is your problem?"

𖤓 yeah, she doesn't take kindly to being told what to do. but she's too drunk to be going to some random frat guy's room, and you're too drunk and tired to argue with either of them. so you have no other choice. your eyes turn black as you summon your charmspeak.

"let her go, and stop trying to take advantage of drunk girls. work on trying to be a better person, take up volunteering or something. don't be a creep."

𖤓 the results are instantaneous. the guy lets go of madison's hand, muttering something about being too drunk, and heads upstairs alone. that's the first time madison's ever seen your charmspeak in action, and she's fucking furious.

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" "i just did you a favor. trust me." "bullshit! you can't tell me what to do." "technically i can, i just don't. come on, let's go."

𖤓 eventually you coax her out of the party and start walking back to robicheaux's—which is made considerably harder by the fact that madison is still very drunk, stumbling in her heels so badly that you have to wrap an arm around her waist to support her.

𖤓 she's silent on the way back, still fuming at you. but as she sobers up, she comes to a realization she wouldn't normally come to: you were right. she was way too drunk to be hooking up with a guy ten minutes after she'd met him.

𖤓 and the next thing she realizes is that you were just looking out for her. nobody ever really had before. madison had been told no very few times in her life—she used to think that was just a testament to her fame, but over time she came to realize that it just came from a lack of people who care about her. and that's when madison comes to the terrifying realization that you care about her.

𖤓 and since she doesn't really know how to say 'thank you," she gives you one of her joints for your trouble when you get back to your room.

𖤓 you share the joint in the backyard, finally having sobered up enough to enjoy a high. you stay quiet, mostly because you're worried she's still mad at you, partially because you're embarrassed that you used your charmspeak on someone, which you swore to yourself you'd never do again unless it was life or death. you were scared that madison was going to cut you off entirely. most people back home did when they realized what you could do. a voice in your head was telling you that madison was never going to speak to you again.

𖤓 so imagine your surprise when she turns and kisses you.

𖤓 you just back out of pure surprise, completely caught off guard. you have a million question but your high only allows you to stutter a huh?

𖤓 madison just laughs a bit, expertly hiding her disappointment at your pulling away. all of her television and film acting serves her well in situations like this.

"what? am i still too drunk for you?" "no, i just...what?"

𖤓 you're just so surprised. did you find madison attractive? undoubtedly yes. did you maybe kind of sort of definitely have feelings for her? also yes. but did you ever think there was a universe in which she'd reciprocate those feelings? absolutely not. so what the fuck was happening?

𖤓 the second time you guys kiss, you're the one who leans in first.

𖤓 that night, you don't do anything more than kiss (despite madison wanting to), but you do end up crashing in madison's bed in your party outfits and makeup. the hangover the next morning sucks ass, but the memories of the night before get you awake pretty quickly.

𖤓 i feel like it wouldn't be too long after that that you guys start dating. madison's never been a huge dater—she's very deeply ingrained in hookup culture, as most of young hollywood is. but when it comes to you, she doesn't think she can settle for the occasional hookup. for one, you guys are literally roommates, so you're together most if not all of the time. for another, her attraction towards you isn't just physical. she likes being around you. she likes talking to you. and because you had a moral compass, hanging around you made her feel like a better person. she hadn't had someone like that in...well, as long as she can remember.

𖤓 there'd never been an official "do you want to be my girlfriend?" type conversation. you would be out somewhere, someone would start messing with you, and madison would get in their face and tell them to leave her girlfriend the fuck alone. they'd leave, and madison would turn to find you with wide eyes and cheeks flushed pink.

"girlfriend?" "duh. is that a problem?" "nope, not at all." "good."

𖤓 i imagine the pda isn't too over the top, but it's definitely there. she'll hold your hand while you're out and about and occasionally lean in to kiss you (she thinks leaving lipstick marks on your cheek is cute). when it's just you guys in your room, she could be all over you depending on her mood. she also loves cuddling, even f she doesn't act like it. whether she wants to be the big or little spoon again depends on her mood. if you're just lying on your bed reading or something, she could just come over and lay her head on your chest if she feels like it, and you do the same to her.

𖤓 when you guys are alone she can literally be such a softie, but she will deny it to the ends of the earth. like if as a joke you threaten to tell everyone how cuddly she is she'll deadass be like "girl. who tf will believe you" and she has a point because like. no one would expect that from her.

𖤓 she's not a big user of pet names, but i can definitely see her calling you "babe/baby."

𖤓 if you have similar styles, your clothes would be her clothes and vice versa. if not, she'll still give you her clothes to wear. she just loves it when you're walking around in her shirt/dress/shorts/etc.

𖤓 also, madison can be an extremely jealous person. if you're out and someone is flirting with you, she will not hesitate to appear out of nowhere and kiss you.

𖤓 or you would make a little game out of it. for example, if a guy was flirting with you at a bar, you'd entertain him for a while, and then when he got around to asking you for your number or asking you out, you'd give an apologetic look and say "sorry, i only date celebrities," and then madison would appear out of nowhere and put an arm around you, giving the guy a smug little smile. you'd laugh about that for a while.

𖤓 you're one of the only people who can see through her "acting" in daily life. she's more confident than the average person for sure, but a good portion of her not giving a shit is acting. you become so attuned to her mannerisms that you start to recognize what's real and what's fake.

𖤓 it would be heavy grumpy x sunshine vibes with you guys. or like...bitch x sweetheart. when everyone else finally finds out you guys are together, they're so surprised. no one can fathom the idea that you, one of the nicest people at robichaux's, are dating the literal bitch supreme.

"y/n, you're...dating her?" "careful nan, you might hurt my feelings."

𖤓 and speaking of everyone "finding out," i imagine you wouldn't do some big reveal where you announce it to everyone one day. you'd both just stop giving a shit about trying to hide your relationship from everyone else.

𖤓 sometimes you really have to tell her to chill tf out...like she'll be threatening someone over next to nothing and you're right behind her apologizing for her.

𖤓 but when it comes to defending you, she will stop at literally nothing to ruin their lives. if they mess with you, they mess with her, and no one messes with her. so by extension, no one messes with you. ever.

𖤓 you'd be the first person she wants to see after the resurrected. you'd see her and run into her arms crying, and she'd say something like "jesus, calm down, i'm fine," but she's tearing up too because she thought she'd never see you again.

𖤓 you're the thing that gets her to feel again after she's brought back. it's around this time that she first tells you she loves you. you wouldn't be doing anything in particular, maybe just lying around your room and watching a movie or something, and she'd realize that she actually feels okay. and then the words would just tumblr out before she can stop them.

"i love you."

𖤓 you'd look at her, and she doesn't see surprise or fear. just a smile.

"i love you too."

𖤓 there wouldn't be a big fuss about it either, you'd both just kinda put it out there and let it be. it's so un-madison to be so chill about it, but she likes it being lowkey. you're hers, she's yours, and that's it. it's one of the only things in her life that's just simple.

𖤓 and if you somehow died? she would do literally anything to resurrect you. there is no universe in which you get to stay dead. not if she has any say in it.

𖤓 before the seven wonders, she’ll pull you aside and tell you, no bullshit, that you have to make it out. you have no choice. neither of you. she won’t even entertain the idea of saying goodbye to you because she won’t fathom the idea of either of you not coming back.

𖤓 at the end of the day, you are the one she wants to be with. whether that's alive or dead, it's you. that's something that's constant in her life.

nsfw

𖤓 in my head, madison is extremely bisexual—she's attracted to anything that's hot. in a similar vein, she never really had an aha moment when she realized she was attracted to girls, it was always just kinda there and she thought, so what? she knew realistically that she kinda had to keep it quiet when she became famous because the media could be ruthless, but she knew who she was pretty early on.

𖤓 to start, madison loves giving hickeys. it ties in with her being a jealous person—what's better than a literal physical mark telling everyone that you're hers? she'll leave them everywhere too. your neck, collarbones, shoulders, breasts, inner thighs.

𖤓 when it comes to men, i feel like she'd lean more towards being bratty/submissive, but when it comes to women? she likes to be in control, for sure. she'd like to give and receive, but she adores watching you come undone on her fingers or her tongue.

𖤓 the best way i can think to describe her is rough but gentle. like, she can be vicious with you but then lean in and whisper "are you okay, baby?" and if you say no, she'll tone it down.

𖤓 she'd also tease the fuck out of you. like, anywhere. during dinner, when you're out, anywhere. she'll put a hand on your thigh and just eeeeeease it higher and higher until your face goes red and you have to push her hand away. she'll literally laugh at you when you stop her.

𖤓 at parties, she'll be all over you while you dance. you'll be pressed against each other, moving in sync, until you wander over to the corner and you can't keep your lips apart anymore. if it's dark enough, she'll even sneak a hand up your dress. she'd be so smug if she could make you come while you're literally on the dance floor.

𖤓 or she'll just drag you to the bathroom and make you sit on the counter so she can eat you out. and then afterwards she'd just fix her lipstick like nothing happened.

𖤓 i feel like if she had an inexperienced partner, she'd be really excited to be the first to do certain things to you, or to figure out what makes you tick. and if you were anxious or nervous about anything, she'd find it soooo cute. she'd be quick to put your worries to rest, though.

"relax, baby. let me take care of you."

𖤓 but sometimes, of course, she'd be more than happy to have to take control—she'd tell you exactly how she likes it and tells you when you're doing a great job. and she is loud. she's got no shame when it comes to that. she doesn't care if people hear her moaning—in fact, sometimes she'll purposely be so loud that she knows everyone can hear her. she doesn't care if people hear how good you make her feel. she also likes seeing the way your face flushes red whenever she does it.

𖤓 she's not exceptionally kinky, but there are deffffinitely a few things she likes. she'd be into breath play and temperature play—as in, she likes choking and sucking on an ice cube before eating you out. while she can be rough, she would never do anything to actually hurt you.

𖤓 we also saw how she was when zoe walked in on her and kyle—she loves the idea of getting caught. she has no clue why, but the idea of someone walking in when she's between your legs gets her so turned on.

𖤓 she'd also give you permission to use your charmspeak on her sometimes. you're hesitant at first, but eventually you indulge her.

𖤓 she'll use a healthy mix of praise and degradation and she likes getting both back. some days you're a good girl and some days you're a slut, there's no in between lmao.

𖤓 she's conflicted when it comes to adding a third person into the mix. on the one hand, the idea of anyone else getting to touch you the way she does makes her furious. on the other hand, she likes the idea of watching/having someone else watch. you'd probably have lots of discussions about it to see what you're both chill with, and it'd probably end with you both flirting with a guy at a party and having a threesome. it's not spectacular, it's not awful, it's just fun.

𖤓 before you, madison never really understood aftercare. mostly because she never got it, so she never expected it. she was used to hooking up and leaving either right after or in the morning, so she's pretty surprised when you ask her if she wants to shower with you after the first time you guys have sex.

𖤓 taking a shower or bath together becomes the norm after you have sex, but if you're too tired you'll just fall asleep tangled up in sheets together.

[lowkeyrobin]

Can i have mcyt + cellbit with a reader who has lots of pets like reptiles, birds and mice and stuff?

ooooo okay!! I don't know too much about little rodent pets (/lh) so I had to do some research, bare w me if anything is weird or wrong lmaooo

MCYT ; animal sanctuary

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & cellbit

warnings ; language, talk of harm towards animals

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

"Holy shit, what is this? an animal sanctuary? this is your house???"

he loves all ur animals dw

he's afraid of the little parakeets though

he mistakes them for pigeons at first 💀💀

"WHY ARE THERE SPY BIRDS IN YOUR HOUSE???"

"what⁉️⁉️"

he's jittery around the mice and rats but he comes to love them

if you have a lizard/salamander that likes to be heald/climb all over ppl, you know damn well he's allowing it to crawl all over him

so many selfies and pictures of the little critters all over his insta, tik tok and even twitter

he makes a whole segment in his show to talk about your animals 😭😭

"the first time I ever went to y/n's house, I actually almost pissed myself" cue pictures of your little critters on the screen behind him "these fuckers are so terrifying. you see that bird right there? he mocks me everytime I speak! hashtag ban rodents 2024"

RANBOO

absolutely loves the reptiles and fuzzy critters

always taking pictures of them

you two do this fun thing by inspiring outfits around your different animals

like one day it'll be a certain salamander and another it'll be one of your birds

loves handfeeding the critters

loves posting their goodnight pics with one of your critters in hand/climbing on them

you guys go to animal shelters if you wanna find a new pet or buddy for a critter of course

yall always get the ones with the saddest backstories and shit

ranboo gets an axolotl

they're obsessed with her, and is so good at raising the fishy lizard 🫶

you bring a salamander over to meet the fish and they have a connection istg

ranboo takes a pic and posts it to Twitter; "two best friends in two different worlds"

is probably slightly afraid of the birds at first, they're scared of being bit

uses funny pictures of your animals as reaction memes

FREDDIE BADLINU

absolutely loves all your little critters

loves all the colors of them as well, especially the reptiles and birds

if you have a snake, he's terrified to get near it but will always take pictures of it climbing all over you

"You feed him spiders?? 😨😨😨"

he's the bird master

birds all over him all the time, he's a walking bird nest

always taking pics of/with your animals

if you have hamsters, good lord he's paying more attention to them than you 😭😭

"hiiiii, how are you today?"

"why do you actually care about my mice more than me"

also loves taking to the birds that talk back

has genuine conversations with them too

you do a cooking stream and he HIDES A RAT IN HIS HAIR FOR TEN MINUTES

"what the fuck"

"BAHAHAHHAA"

NIKI NIHACHU

absolutely adores all your little creatures

always has to show them off online

and always telling stories on stream

"y/n has this one salamander and she likes to nibble fingers, and one time-"

always taking cute pics with the pets that like to be heald/like to climb on people

she's literally an animal godess I swear

she's a critter whisperer sorry not sorry

always taking videos of funny moments / when you're giving all them time outside the cage

there's always birds on her shoulder, sleeping beauty ass 😭🙏

literally becomes a photographer for ur pets, she takes the best pictures ever

she makes them little hats and accessories 😭😭😭

always buying them toys as well

in the middle of the night you'll be awoken with the RMRMRMRMRMRM of the hamster wheel she got the hamsters

ALEX QUACKITY

"HOLY SHIT WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY FUCKING ANIMALS?"

literally has to make a note on his phone to keep track of all the names

he is not touching no damn reptile

always posting pics online

you guys start fostering critters as well

turns on loud meme music and has a concert with the mice

he knows how to call the birds like he's fucking sleeping beauty

"how tf did you just do that???"

"magic"

"okay then 🤨"

you foster a duck together that had her wings clipped

you name her together (it's named daisyhq I can't even make this up. you did the hq btw)

mice and rats all over him and his desk 24/7

and he'll gladly show them off on stream

"can we get a parrot?"

"my brother in christ we already have two birds?"

CELLBIT

also lovessss your critters

he genuinley has conversations with the birds

so many pictures of your animals on his social media LMAO

he names the new ones (you left it all up to him) the most random things

always asking you about toys before he buys them because he feels bad because what if they're lonely and sad but he doesn't wanna potentially hurt them either

always fucking around with the birds when they're hyper

also plays tag with the mice/rats

also loves showing them off on stream and ranting about them for a solid ten minutes

he finds a rat on the qsmp and names it after one of your rats

walks back in the house one day with a rat like "I found a friend! :D"

"Holy shit bro"

selfies with critters in his hair >>>>

alright this is all I got this took me way too long...

[cocktailjjrs]

So......

Since I've been suffering with these angsty thoughts... i though i would invite you all suffer with me...

It's about Chuuya...

I was doing some research for my fic (mainly going through bsd novels, blogs, tags and all) and came across this one Insta post in passing (sorry, i don't remember the name).

It was about BSD's cycles.

First, cycle of abuse, going from Mori-Dazai-Aku-Kyouka

and Second of rescue, going from Natsume-Oda-Dazai-Atsushi-Kyouka.

And then they highlighted a third category, the one's who are not saved - including Chuuya, Aku and Q.

At that point i didn't think much about it, just another post while scrolling Insta.

But now it's keeps bothering me, a constant reminder, whenever i read something BSD.

And It's so heart wrenching.

It also hit me, Q and Aku can still be saved.

Q, while we don't exactly know where they are right now, there is a chance of them getting their own arc, backstory and then being saved.

Aku, while still in Mafia, his partnership with Atsushi is his saving grace already. He is making an effort to not kill, just for their deal/bet. By the end of it all, he will be in a better place than he is now.

But Chuuya. (Spoiler's for light novel's if you haven't read them)

I remember very clearly, when in Stormbringer (don't ask me why i remember this byheart), when Murase dies Chuuya says, "Hey Detective, Weren’t you gonna arrest me?! Weren’t you gonna bring me into the world of light"

Don't get me wrong, I still believe Chuuya belongs to Port Mafia, the darkness suits him better than light.

But that does not mean he never wanted to get out of that darkness. This one instance in SB was proof enough. Makes me wonder, if things had gone even slightly differently, would he be in a better place than he is now? Is there still a chance?

What's even more tragic is that after the whole SB thing, no one seemed stick around enough to help him fight his own demons.

And he definitely has MASSIVE DEMONS.

His whole life seems to be one catastrophe after another! Don't believe me?

His first group, whom he called friends, betrayed him. Classic stabbed by poisonous knife in the back.

Hardly a year later, his second friends group, Flags, was killed by an emotionally unstable man-child seeking validation, insisting on calling him brother.

He went through a horrid ordeal, having to learn he was a lab experiment, seeing your clone vaporise to nothing but bones in your own arms, having to fight those same bones. And as if this was not enough, then fighting the monstrosity of a singularity and in process loosing the only chance to determine your humanity. (Actually whole of SB is dreadful, i don't think it'll ever get worse than that - i really hope it doesn't)

Then, given by the timeline, another year later, his third group of friends was killed by Shibusawa.

And again a year later - his partner, who brought him in all this madness, just fucking leaves without a word. This is the least tragic thing that has happened to the boy, i swear.

And I'm sure it didn't end there.

There must have been so many things going on behind the scenes in those missing years, hell even after the series began, Chuuya has been out of scene because something or the other was going on.

Now you have Fyodor fucking shit up for no apparent reason. With this shitshow, many mafia men, some of whom Chuuya might have developed a relation, are definitely dead. Not to mention the mental gymnastics going to trying to at least be on the same fucking chapter as the two geniuses.

AND ALL OF THIS IS JUST IN THE CURRENT TIMELINE. Don't get me started on BEAST VERSE!!! (That's a can of worms I'm really not ready to open at this point)

The thing with Mentally strong individuals is, they have abnormally high emotional intelligence, they are unnaturally resilient, they can compartmentalize their grief, they empathise with great deal of people, think rationally at any given point and think of ways to make things better.

What many people fail to understand is that no one is born Mentally strong, it's the circumstances that make them as such.

It can happen even through small things.

No one being there for you to express your deepest fears. No one just listening to you, even if they have a solution to your problem. Or having seen other's nightmares come to reality and feeling your own are much smaller, or having made to fell that way.

It creates the mentality of never sharing your fears, your insecurities, your discomfort - because at the back of the mind you keep telling yourself - oh, this person has gone through so much more than i have, my fear is nothing compared to it. I can handle it on my own, they have their own problems to handle. Everyone is busy, i don't think they have time to listen to the same problem I've been facing for years now. I've manages so far, i think I can manager just fine.

You start to undervalue your own feelings and start to fell like you'll burden them. Start to feel like you NEED to handle it on your own.

Now, i don't want to go into a spiral of mental health, but when you look at Chuuya, you can't help but marvel at that kids Mental resolution.

His first action after being stabbed in back was to make a deal with a demon to make sure he doesn't harm them, because they are just kids.

His first reaction to being provoked into revenge was to say Fuck off to his manipulator, not falling for the temptation and doing what he felt right.

He even forgave the killer of his friends (And also the one who tried to kill him) for gods sake! Understanding what he was going through.

He even walked away after knowing his parents are alive (oh the irony) not wanting to put a target on them. (I'm actually on fence with this, the chances of it being a manipulation tactic from Mori is just as high as it being the truth)

He had tremendous mental fortitude.

But you still see the cracks in his emotional state,

He was desperate to know if he was human or not, inclining towards the later.

He didn't know, that your friends can do some nice things without expecting anything in return. They can go above and beyond your regular stuff just because they are your friends, there doesn't need to be of anything at stake in friendship.

Hell, there was a point he believed having a Heart was too sophisticated for him, that he can't be that human!

I can go hours and hours about this.

What i can say for sure is, he has demons in all sizes, shapes and forms, something that he has stuffed in his closet only to deal with them himself, not letting them see the light of the day.

i just don't see anyone actually being there for him long enough for him to trust them fully with his demons.

No, not even Dazai. Dazai himself was a walking cry for help, like hell Chuuya is adding to that pile. He may have found a constant in Dazai in three years, seeing as all other's met their end in one. I believe in those three years, somewhere Soukoku began to feel like his safe place, somewhere he didn't had to think about his demons only by the virtue of dealing with one made of flesh and bones. But then even Dazai left.

I don't think even Kouyou was there for most part. And considering her obsession with a flowers of dark with Kyouka, i think it pulled Chuuya more in her own tragedy. Afterall, she also was never saved.

Mori is there, but Mori is a Demon in his own rights. What we've seen is their interactions have been those of a boss and his close confidents, nothing personal or emotional. Which also makes sense when you think of Mori's theory of running an organization. Chuuya, all things considered, the most powerful member of PM and he is treated as such.

The other significant members of PM, the guerrilla squad, black lizards or Kajji - all of them may know him better than most, but he is still their executive. If a 15 and younger kid took the title of being a protector of his rag-tag group seriously, being a responsible and dependable executive comes with higher stakes. He will carry out his role as one, even if it's the last thing he does.

.

.

.

That was me rambling.

My point is, i wanna give Chuuya a big hug, tell him it's okay to fell tried sometimes. To let himself be vulnerable. That his fears are not invalid. That he is not invalid. That he isn't the problem, never was.

That he will still be valued and wanted, even if he one day looses his ability or he is no longer the strongest.

Can someone please save his boy?

[stolasdearest]

Can I request dating headcanons for Gale, Wyll, Dammon, Rolan, Zevlor, Halsin, and Astarion with gn s/o?

say less!! It's been awhile since I've written headcanons or prompts with multiple people but LETS TRY

Bg3 chars x gn!Tav

warnings: (maybe) Ooc Zevlor,Rolan (I think I have a pretty good grasp on Dammon) not proofread!! Mentions of traumatic backstories

Zevlor definitely has some self worth issues due to Fall of Elturel and what happened with the Grove he cares deeply for his fellow kin and that care flows into you aswell. He is absolutely infatuated with you and has absolutely no shame showing it or others.

I feel like he's very big on PDA for an odd reason he isn't afraid to tell anyone off and he has a backbone that's for sure, that doesn't mean he's not vulnerable he absolutely is and he feels safest with you as his beloved. He shows his love with physical affection and acts of service in my opinion— cooks you breakfast,lunch and dinner. Plans nice evenings, takes you nice places, whole nine yards— he's also surprisingly big on literature and he writes you poems and tells you the nicest most sweetest things ever. He's a very stubborn man though, so if you're also stubborn it can turn into bickering but never an argument, at the end of the day he just wants to see you smile.

EXTREMELY cocky, He's like a cat that'll keep eye contact with you when knocking a class off the counter. He does love big nonetheless! A heart of gold and an ego of steel but you love that about him

I think he'd enjoy quality time. Cooking or cleaning together, reading in silence or just holding each other in the morning juicing up for the day.

I also think he's also just absolutely obsessed with his Partner but in a more discreet way, Glances at you after he voices an opinion or telling a joke. Seeing what you'll do and think. Expanding on that he definitely takes what you think to heart at all times and always ask your opinion on anything— food,clothes, decoration how to style his hair so on and so forth

Also a HUGE cuddle bug. Cooking dinner? Hugs you from behind, Sitting on the sofa reading a book? Lays his head in your lap and looks at your gorgeous face, Walking in public? Hand on your lower back.

He's a little cutie patootie

OUR FAVORITE BLACKSMITH!!

He's actually so adorable and hes definitely into gift giving and physical touch.

He'll make you little trinkets and do-dads from scraps he has left over, You know those metal roses some people make for their partners?? He does that with you and they look absolutely amazing everytime (he buys you normal flowers aswell do not worry)

He's also no stranger to being the small spoon so just hold him sometimes, He's gone through some things with the Grove and the Shadow lands and he has nightmares on occasion when he will wake you up and you of course sit with him until he can rest easy again

He's no surprise to anyone very strong he's a black smith for crying out loud, he's 90% sure he can pick you effortlessly no matter how tall or big you are he will do it. No negotiating about that

He has the cutest puppy dog eyes I mean can you blame him? I'd use those gorgeous eyes to my advantage aswell— he knows you love it and him so whenever he wants something from you he gives you a look anyone could coo at you fall for it everytime

In the city (or in general) he basically drags you around by your hand, he's also 10 steps ahead of you mentally and sometimes physically..at this point get a leash for him

He's still very emotionally intelligent and talking with him about something that bothers you is met with understandment and reassurance while he works on the issue and he expects it vice versa aswell where you happily oblige

He's sweet but he's not a pushover under any circumstances

The most gentlemen-y of Gentlemen.

Outside of Baldurs gate he will do his best to spoil you with food, flowers and protection— you swear to him you can take care of yourself but he doesn't listen to you

After you enter Baldurs gate however he's going full ex-Noble mode, Fancy dinners, Bouquets and whatever you'd like he's ready to get it for you at the basic snap of your fingers.

Gift giving is his love language, ontop of quality time. You tell him you do not need all of the nice things he gives you but he insists some Noble roots run deep, he often confides in you over his Father and Mizora and the guilt of what he would've potentially done to Karlach still lies in his head despite Karlachs constant reassurance ontop of your own

His favorite thing is honestly to look at you especially your eyes, The glimmer in them after a fight? Or the reflection of the fire from the campfire in your eyes? Absolutely breathtaking in his eyes.

To him you are everything, You're one of the only people he has left and he isn't planning on losing you, has your back if you ever need it. Physical cover in a fight? He's right behind you, someone's giving you shit? He'll defend you with every ounce of his being

Also a man that insists on carrying you anytime you even show an ounce of exhaustion, He might also be one hill away from collapsing but he's your knight in shining armor and you know it

Sometimes he wonders if you love Tara more than him honestly—

Please give this man some REAL love, pamper him, smother him and reassure him. The roots on Mystras abuse runs DEEP but he doesn't know that but you do.

Despite his very obvious love for you and the care he holds deep in his heart but he cannot help but feel like he's holding you back with the literal ticking bomb he is, everyday he fears it might be his last along with yours unfortunately. He's aware you'd insist on staying with him if his time ever came but he simply can't bring himself to think of you being gone even after he's passed

If you're out alone he asks Tara to keep an eye on you if you're out long that is

He's not insecure but afraid, anxious despite the fact he's one of the men with the least baggage he's worried you think you can do better

his biggest love language I think is physical touch, He wants to feel you, to know you're real and you're his.

If you're useless in the kitchen he does not mind doing all of the cooking and baking as neither do you. He's a powerful and talented culinary wizard, He also just prefers to spend his nights and mornings in your arms just taking a breather and loving you

Our most beloved spawn :)

Obviously very touchy and handsy but hes also big on words of affirmation and gift giving

He once brought you a head rat as a joke saying it was a gift

He needs someone to match his energy, either by being matching chaotic or laughing at his not so violent antics (or also at his violent antics that's up to you honestly)

He's not all sunshine and rainbows however, the wounds of Cazador will always be part of him and he wants you to know that.

He talks big but he knows he's alot with everything he's gone through and what that made him at the end of everything

He also knows you won't be around forever unlike him and he dreads the day he's alone again

You are his sunshine and he doesn't know where he'd go or who he'd be if you didn't stick with him and he loves you endlessly for your patience and understanding with him.

Halsin the big bear

Have a fear of bears or dont like em in general?

Ultimate deal breaker, he needs someone to love him for all of him, bear form included

He's a big sweetheart but like Dammon also not gullible or Naive

Definitely big on Marriage with you because he genuinely thinks you are the one and he wishes to never spend a day without you ever again

He becomes less subtle with his advances and flirting the more you date him, and it makes him laugh everytime you give him a knowing look and laugh at him

No matter how not pick up-able you think you are Halsin will throw you over his shoulder

HUGE cuddler anytime you guys aren't actively moving around? BOOM hands on you everywhere. Another man who loves giving loving words

A nightmare? He will whisper sweet nothings into your ear and hold you closely to his chest listening to his steady heart beat

He's also a great cook which he uses to make you some very nice meals

I can also imagine you can ride him in his bear form especially if you're tiny, Cuddling him in his bear form is also not rare between you both

Overall very big nice bear husband

OMG KILL ME I ACCIDENTALLY PUBLISHED THIS BEFORE I WAS DONE THATS SO EMBARRASSING

again I apologize for ooc npcs 😭 hope you enjoyed nonetheless

[beccalovesyu]

nick wayne x female reader? fluff please ☺️ the reader is hook’s younger sister and she has a huge crush on nick. but hook goes into big brother protection mode so dante and darius help her out by setting them up. and eventually hook (and taz) approve of them

Sorry it took a little bit I tried my best 🤍

The secret

Pairing: fem! Reader x Nick Wayne

Warnings: arguing with hook/ Tyler, any grammar mistakes I made, swearing

Genre: fluff

masterlist

< oneshot >

( not my gifs )

Backstory: read the request ☝️ ( that was actually so perfect )

You were playing truth or dare with Darius and Dante. You picked truth because the last dare was discussing you never wanted to do a dare again.

Dante: “ y/n truth or dare “

Y/n: “ truth “

Dante: “ why you scared we’ll make you eat cat food mixed with crayons again? “

Y/n: “ yes, I’m never coloring again. “

Dante: “ alright your truth is would you date anyone in our friend group? “

Y/n: “ why? “

Dante: “ because your alone “

Y/n: “ oh thanks Dante. anyways maybe “

Dante: “ who? “

Y/n: “ actually my turns over Darius truth or dare “

Darius: “ um uno reverse “

Y/n: “ hm? “

Darius: “ truth or dare “

Y/n: “ that’s not apart of the game “

Darius: “ it is now “

Y/n: “ that’s so unfair “

Dante: “ pick before I pick for you “

Y/n: “ alright alright truth “

Darius: “ who do you like at least give us a hit “

Y/n: “ fine he’s my age “

Dante: “ NICK FUCKING WAYNE?!? “

You were blushing to hard to get out of this.

Y/n: “ SHHH SHUT UPPP “

Darius: “ THEY CALL HIM NICK WAYNEEEE “

Y/n: “ omg. “

Dante: “ IM NICK WAYNE “

Y/n: “ Alr Alr you guys don’t need to sing the whole Thing “

After the game of truth or dare they keeps asking questions.

Dante: “ when are you guys getting together “

Darius: “ OH what about married “

Dante: “ can you name your kids after me “

Y/n: “ omg you guys are so childish “

They bugged you for the rest of the night about it. Until they FINALLY fell asleep.

The next day:

You woke up early to get to the gym before collision. You wore some black leggings and a dark blue sports bra. You got in the gym then started on the treadmills. You seen someone in the mirror behind you. It was Nick. You immediately got butterflies. He was so handsome and sweet. He’s was just so perfect. You always tried to talk to him without blushing but it never worked. At this point he has a nickname for you. “ pinky “ why name me after a finger??? You stopped the treadmill and caught your breath, then you walked over to him and greeted him with a huge smile. Then you heard the children.

Dante: “ hey lovebirds “

Y/n: “ Dante why are you literally a 6 year old “

Dante: “ hey that’s not nice “

Y/n: “ mhm “

Darius: “ nobody invited me to this wedding ? “

Y/n: “ oml “

Nick started laughing. You didn’t know if that was good or bad. Was he laughing at them or you?!?

Nick “ guys you were supposed to bring the cake “

Y/n: “ I’m Surrounded by children. “

Dante: “ you and Nick should get used to that “

Y/n: “ oml.. “

You were obviously embarrassed. You’ve had a crush on Nick since you met him. This whole thing was stupid they sounded like middle schoolers. Nick and you just kinda clicked it wasn’t hard to fall in love. You were just scared you would ruin your friendship. After dealing with the “ pre-k squad “ you finally finished your workout and you left for collision.

At the arena:

You seen your brother sitting on a crate eating chips obviously that’s all he does. He was more quiet and he Seemed mad? For once he didn’t have a poker face. You greeted him and you got no reply.

Y/n: “ hey Ty “

Tyler: “ .. “

Y/n: “ you ok? “

Tyler: “ I’m fine “

Y/n: “ are you mad at me? “

Tyler: “ stay away from Nick “

Y/n: “ why he’s my friend. “

Tyler: “ I heard him Talking to Sam ( darby ) just stay away “

Y/n: “ what’d he say? “

Tyler: “ don’t worry about it “

Y/n: “ but why if you won’t tell me why should I stay away “

Tyler: “ I just don’t want you around him end of conversation. “

You were pissed why does Tyler have any authority to tell you who to hang out with. Yeah he was your older brother but if anyone would tell you anything you would actually listen to was your dad Taz. So obviously you were gunna be sneaky about talking to him. And what did Nick say to Sam???

Earlier his pov:

I was Talking to my best friend for as long as I can remember. I was telling him about this girl about my crush.

Nick: “ this girl is so sweet and kind and she’s just so beautiful and I don’t know how to ask her out she’s the girl of my dreams can you help me please. “

Sam: “ who is she? “

Nick: “ Tyler’s little sister y/n “

Sam: “ be careful with her Nick her brother is really protective and her dad is well her dad is Taz “

Nick: “ I know but I really like her and I don’t care who her family is “

Sam: “ alright so try to give her compliments and laugh at any jokes she says even if they aren’t funny “

Nick: “ thanks Sam “

Sam: “ your welcome “

Later:

You seen Nick in the viewing room and you walked up to him to say hi. But that was short lived thanks to Tyler.

Y/n: “ heyyy nicky “

Nick: “ why are you whispering “

Y/n: “ because of my brother being annoying and mad about something. “

Nick: “ what’s he mad about and why does that explain why your whispering “

Y/n: “ he said that- “

Tyler: “ am I interrupting something “

Y/n: “ no Ty “

Nick: “ hey Tyler “

Tyler: “ mhm come on y/n “

Y/n: “ this shits unfair. “

You were pissed Tyler was being serious he didn’t want you around him he even was following you everywhere just so you wouldn’t talk to him it’s been multiple failed conversations with Nick and a week a whole week and Tyler hasn’t left your side all to make sure you wouldn’t talk to him. You were annoyed. you needed extra help. It was 2:00 Am and you were in your hotel room when you texted the “ pre-k “ brothers.

You had no idea how they would help you were actually a little scared.

Next Wednesday:

You finally got to the arena after a long flight with Ty. When you went in Dante immediately went up to Ty as if he was waiting even though that seemed creepy he actually got Ty away from you, you finally didn’t have him following you but where was Darius? You were walking to your locker room to get changed for your match because it was the starting match of the night when you seen a note on your door. What was this about? You took the Note that was taped on your door off of it and read it. “ meet in Nicks locker room after your match asap “ you were shocked was this plan actually working? You were so excited you couldn’t wait for your match to end and it didn’t even start. You got changed and waited for your music to hit you hit your opponent with a cutter and won the match. You rushed backstage and got a quick shower and got into some jean shorts and a plain black crop top. You were beyond scared and excited. You walked to Nicks locker room and knocked on the door when it was opened Darius was there it was so sweet a little indoor picnic that him and Sam set up for us. It turns out that Sam found out about the plan from Dante and he wanted to help too. There was one thing though Nick wasn’t there. You were confused but after Sam explained that Nick had a promo to film and he didn’t even know about this yet you understood. You eagerly waited for Nick to finish with his promo you were too excited. This was so cute the best little set up you ever seen you were beyond excited when you realized it would technically be a date. You seen the door handle move you immediately got butterflies in your stomach. When the door open it was Nick the most beautiful guy you’ve ever seen the sweetest guy you would ever meet. He seen you Sam and Darius and he seemed happy. He asked what this was and Darius was stupid and said it was your wedding Nick laughed at it then Sam explained what happened with Tyler and that this is your secret first date. You couldn’t stop smiling you were so happy to finally have a date with the guy of your dreams. Darius and Sam went out of the locker room and sat on a crate by the door so in case Ty tried anything he would hopefully… possibly be stopped. You sat on a blanket on the floor with Nick and a little basket full of snacks and some sandwiches. Nick sat across from you and was wearing a black shirt with some black jeans.

Y/n: “ hey Nicky “

Nick: “ hey pretty girl “

You obviously started blushing when he said that you just couldn’t get over his voice and how he said pretty girl.

Nick: “ or should I call you pinky “

Y/n: “ shush pretty boy “

There it was the nickname he came up with.

You talked for a little bit and had some laughs while eating your food. ( use your imagination because I’m not the best with conversations on dates 😭 )

Darius knocked on the door and asked if you were having fun and if you guys finished your food.

Darius: “ how’s the wedding going “

Y/n: “ amazing “

Nick: “ um the best obviously you planned it “

Darius: “ are you guys done eating? because when you are by the couch there’s a blanket, a stuffed animal, popcorn and the remote for the tv you guys can watch a movie or something if you want a longer date “

Y/n: “ a stuffed animal? “

Darius: “ yeah consider it a gift from Nick “

Nick: “ so that’s why you asked me to help pick out a stuffed animal for a girl “

Darius: “ yeah we were in the store for a hour because I wouldn’t tell him who it was for so he didn’t know what you liked but we settled on a blue Dinosaur just for you “

Y/n: “ awe that’s so sweet thank you “

Darius: “ don’t thank me thank him “

Darius left you to the rest of the date. You and Nick watched your favorite movie. And cuddled.

Nick: “ you know your really beautiful y/n “

Y/n: “ why thank you not to bad yourself “

Nick: “ how much luckier could I get I have you as a beautiful girlfriend “

Y/n: “ so it’s official? “

Nick: “ if you want it to be “

Y/n: “ of corse I would nicky “

Nick: “ my pinky “

You smiled while he kissed your forehead. You were so happy you finally had the guy of your dreams. But how would Ty react? You ended up falling asleep in nicks arms when you got woken up by a terrified Dante.

Dante: “ wake up I lost Ty he’s looking for you he’s gunna kill us if he finds out your in here “

Y/n: “ shit sorry Nicky I have to go “

Nick: “ it’s ok pinky I get it “

You gave him a kiss on the cheek goodbye and snuck back to your locker room. When Ty finally found you he was pissed.

Tyler: “ y/n where have you been? “

Y/n: “ I was hanging out with the girls and I just got out of the shower is a girl not allowed to take a shower? “

Tyler: “ your hair isn’t wet. “

Y/n: “ it’s called a blow drier dumb ass “

Tyler: “ watch your language “

Y/n: “ your not dad I don’t need to listen to you “

Tyler: “ you should listen to me I’m your brother “

Y/n: “ nah I’m good “

Tyler: “ if I find out you were with Nick your dead “

Y/n: “ I wasn’t I stopped trying after you locked me in my hotel room for 5 hours “

Tyler finally left after the long interview of where you were and why you at work 2 hours after the show. Tyler was going to drive you to your hotel so he waited in the car for you. You seen Nick on the way out and checked if anyone was around before you gave him a hug and kiss goodbye.

Y/n: “ bye Nicky boy “

Nick: “ bye pinky “

You went back to your hotel and the whole way there you got asked about who you were texting. It was obviously Nick but you couldn’t tell Ty that so you just said your friend Anna Jay. You got back to your hotel room and he finally left you alone so you could sleep before you feel asleep though Nick texted you a mini good night paragraph.

The next day:

You woke up to another mini paragraph it was so sweet and cute your heart literally melted.

You were so beyond happy that Nick is your sweet caring loving boyfriend. But you had to tell your dad and Ty soon and you had no idea how though.

1 month later:

You and Nick have been dating for about 1 month you’ve kept it a secret for that long but it was getting harder you wanted to spend time with your boyfriend but Ty didn’t even want you talking to him. So you made a plan to tell your dad and Ty. You just hoped Nick would be alive for your next anniversary. You were at collision waiting for Ty to get to the arena. You were terrified what if they made you break up with him or something. You waited for about 20 minutes for Ty and your dad to show up you asked them to come to your locker room because you need to talk about something with them. You didn’t want to tell them alone so you asked Dante and Darius to wait outside of the door just in case things didn’t go to plan. You had your dad and Ty sit on your couch while you stood in front of them waiting for Nick to come to help tell the news to them.

Taz: “ you aren’t quitting are you “

Y/n: “ no dad I’m not I’m happy here “

Tyler: “ this better be good I should be asleep right now “

Taz: “ a promotion “

Y/n: “ no “

Taz: “ you winning a title? “

Y/n: “ no “

Taz: “ your mom ask you to ask us something? she does that a lot but I digress “

Y/n: “ no dad “

Taz: “ alright just asking kiddo “

Finally Nick walked in your locker room and you were relieved you could finally tell them no more hiding.

Tyler: “ y/n what’s he doing here “

Taz: “ who’s this fine young man? “

Y/n: “ um we have something to tell you “

Taz: “ y/n your only 18 you can’t be “

Y/n: “ no not that dad “

Taz: “ ok continue “

Tyler: “ no don’t you shouldn’t even be talking to him “

Y/n: “ me and Nick are dating and I don’t care if you don’t want it he’s the sweetest guy I know and I’m not going to leave him because your over protective. “

Taz: “ well welcome to the family kid “

Tyler: “ no this isn’t supposed to be happening you aren’t allowed to talk “

Taz: “ hey give this kid a chance Ty your sister deserves love and she shouldn’t have to listen to you about your opinions but I digress “

Tyler: “ fine. “

You knew Ty didn’t like it he was your big brother you felt bad about going behind his back and dating someone he didn’t even want you talking to but after a couple weeks of you Ty and Nick hanging out he realized that Nick wasn’t so bad and he’s actually a big sweet heart so you officially got your bothers approval on one condition.

Tyler: “ don’t hurt her or your going to be mounted on my wall “

That was the one condition but now you and Nick have movie nights in his locker room every Wednesday and Ty sometimes tags along because he’s still protective but you don’t mind.

This took abt 3 days? Thank you Abby for helping me with the Dante and Darius texts lmk if u want another one keep in mind that this is only my second fic so sorry if it isn’t perfect hoped you liked it 🫶 I tried to proof read lmao 😭