#there i now officially have a house md tag

[rubinaitoart]

Thanks for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I’ve published five, but orphaned three of them if memory serves correctly. Only two are currently on my page.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

10,317

3. What fandoms do you write for?

My two fics are for The Owl House and Star Wars, but the orphaned fics were for House MD, Prodigal Son, and Lucifer. I also have unpublished works for The Arcana, Merlin (BBC), Stardew Valley, Castlevania, and probably more that I don’t remember off the top of my head.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

“The Gilded Castle”, a currently abandoned project at 92 kudos. Published in 2022.

“Nothing ever feels quite the same (when you are what you dreamed”, a one-shot at 60 kudos. Published in 2023.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always! I love engaging with my readers.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It doesn’t exist (yet). It’s one that hasn’t been published and hasn’t been finished yet, though the ending is probably going to turn out angsty.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

“Nothing ever feels quite the same” ended pretty nicely, if you ignore how the source material turns out.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not as far as I’m aware. Can’t have haters if you don’t publish what you’re writing 😎

9. Do you write smut?

I’ve dabbled with it in the past, ultimately it’s not really my thing though so I doubt I’ll ever publish anything like that.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I’ve thought about it! Back in my roleplaying days it was really common, but I haven’t actually written any crossovers as of yet. Maybe someday in the future.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge, no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

To a degree, yes! My partner wrote a lot, and there were a few fics that were based on things we had roleplayed together. I’m also currently working on co-writing something, but that’s a secret for now 🤫

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

It would have to be Merthur, I think. I’m not sure I’ve ever quite been obsessed with a ship the way I have been with this one.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have to pick just one? Most are unpublished, but it would be nice to finish “The Gilded Castle” someday.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’m not really sure. Descriptions, maybe. I’m not very confident in my writing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue is my worst enemy.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If I can avoid it, I’d prefer to. If I have to use it, it’ll be with a big disclaimer at the start that I don’t know what I’m doing 😂

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Officially? As far back as I can remember, Gravity Falls. The fic is still floating around somewhere on FFN but I don’t remember the username I used for the life of me.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It’s unpublished, but a Castlevania fic I started a while ago.

I can’t remember if I’m mutuals with all that many fanfic writers other than @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia so if you’re a mutual/follower and you write fics, this 20 questions is open to you too!

Twenty Questions for Fanfic Writers

Thank you @liviapeleia for the asks <3!!

Tagging longtime frond @breadkween, fabulous runner of @merlinmicrofic @queerofthedagger (thank you!) and reader and writer who's left me lovely comments @achillesuwu. @mythandmagic, Ao3 is down rn so I can't check but if you have any fics yourself, here's an ask game for you! There's no obligation, presh or time limit of course! Also like @liviapeleia said before me, consider yourself tagged if you see this!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

265,960

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now just Merlin. I've written for other fandoms in the past but each of those works have been standalone.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Always His Destiny | Merlin | A true love's kiss, resurrection and golden age AU written for Glompfest 2024.

Like Every Tree Stands On Its Own | Merlin | A longfic inspired by other Arthurian media/sources featuring Wildman Prophet!Merlin and a magical forest. This is my magnum opus.

What's Mightier Than a Sword and Robs a Prince of His Servant? | Merlin | Pre-slash Merthur minor canon-divergence in which Merlin's talents in speech writing land him a promotion and Arthur is Not Pleased™.

Only Human | Venom | A short gift/exchange fic about masturbation, lol. The fic I received in exchange was also about masturbation. In my defence this was a writing exercise (I promise).

The Sky Is Falling | Nightvale | Unfinished fic about alcoholism recovery, love, community and the complete collapse of reality.

...Okay wow what a mix :D

5. Do you respond to comments?

I really love comments and I love getting into discussions with readers! It really makes my day to see that someone has commented on one of my fics.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Am I allowed to choose a soon to be published WIP? Words Are Dead, a microfic inspired by the Agnes Obel song of the same name in which Merlin and Arthur are unable to communicate when Arthur returns. Merlin has lost Brythonic, his first language, and his capacity to relearn it. He's simply been alive for far too long and his mind has suffered :(

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Like Every Tree has a prolonged bittersweet kind of ending but I think Always His Destiny wins.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope/not yet!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, though so far it hasn't been the focus of any of my works, there's no reason why that can't change though (the Venom one doesn't count, I make the rules here). As to what kind I'd say loving and intimate, I guess? Sometimes with a bit of a hurt/comfort element to it. Again, no reason why I can't branch out in the future ;)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

While not labelled as a crossover, Like Every Tree was heavily inspired by Arthurian media both new and old, and one medieval Irish source. I did so much research for this fic and I'm still down those various rabbit holes. It was a homage to my favourite, janky cartoon movie from my childhood Quest for Camelot. Otherwise I don't write proper crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I would love to!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I guess it really has to be Merthur! I don't recall a ship ever having such a hold on me. Those two are doomed but made for each other. The way they interact is so much fun to read/write.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Damn, this is definitely Be Here When the Weather Turns, a Mushi-shi fic. It has a very soft, restful and liminal vibe and I adore it. I really do wish I can finish it someday. So sometimes like a song, you share a piece of media with someone, or you associate it with a particular chapter in your life, and that song/piece of media brings up feelings. I'd like to think it's still worth a read. If you don't know Mushi-shi, please consider checking it out, it was weird and quiet and beautiful.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can't deny that I put a lot of love into this hobby. Also @breadkween has told me that they really like my dialogue :3

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm really prone to typos. I can re-read something a hundred times and just fail to see them. I'm a very slow writer; what I put out usually goes through months of edits and change-ups. Lastly I have embraced a faux-pas or two for fun, such as starting sentences with 'and.' And no one can stop me >:)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd only be comfortable writing dialogue in a language I've formerly learned and have some level of familiarity with for fear of getting something wrong.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Okay I love this question because the answer is the highly formative Garth Nix's Keys to the Kingdom series, a YA series I was obsessed with, and have continued to read, and re-read as an adult and as unexpected prequels and sequels popped up in more recent years. I wrote it on a literal floppy disk :D First fandom I wrote for that I actually published online was Undertale.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Definitely Like Every Tree. I'm just really proud of it :3

[how-the-feathers-have-fallen]

felled by the poisonous nostalgia of baby og ducklings gifs and funny still-not-desensitized-to-medical-malpractice reactions might just go and rewatch season one of house md instead of playing chicken with mid season seven

[w2soneshots]

Soft launch -Angry ginge

words: 1.1k+

warnings: light smut.

summary: you and Morgan announce your relationship, he asks you an important question and you celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Liked by kaci.jay and 104,690 others

y/username: soft launch?? @angryginge13

-comments-

angryginge13: hard launch??

dannyaarons: so cute man❤️

user20577940: omgggggg finally!!!!!

Me and Morgan have been together for just over 6 months. We decided to keep it a secret since we didn't want other people's opinions effecting our relationship while it was still early doors, but ended up putting it off for a lot longer than we anticipated. Last night after watching the KSI vs Tommy Fury fight, we decided to quietly announce it.

We met in a pub, he was hanging around with his friends playing pool, and I was with my best friend Lana. Nether of us drink so had something in common when our friends started to become increasingly more pissed.

Today I'm tagging along to one of his house viewings. He's been trying to find a home for a while now, with no luck. I knocked on his door and he opened it a few minutes later. "Hey babe." he said pulling me into the house and then into a kiss. I smiled into the kiss. He pulled away "What?" He questioned. "What was that for?" I asked with a smile still plastered on my face. "I've just missed you." He stated. "I saw you last week." I said. "A week too long." he said and I shook my head with a giggle.

We left the house around 10 minutes later. "You exited?" I asked while he drove. "Not really, I've been to so many of these so I don't have my hopes up". he said focusing on the road. "This could be the one!" I poked his side. "I hope so." he said quickly glancing at me. "We're here." he said as we pulled up. "Ooo this is nice!" I said excitedly. It's pretty big, with light brick and a dark roof, it has big windows and a nice sheltered driveway.

"And this is the master bedroom." the estate agent said showing us the final room. "This is lush!" I said looking around. "I'll leave you to discuss." the man said leaving the room. Morgan grabbed my arm "y/n?" "Yea?" I said slightly confused by his seriousness. "I know we've only been together for a few months but- I- hate it when you're gone even just for a day, we spend most nights together anyway and I know the lease on your house is running out I- I was just wondering, only if you want to, move in with me?" I was stunned, couldn't believe the words that just came out of his mouth. "I-" he cut me off "you really don't have to." he said. "No, I do." I said. "You do?" I nodded "of course I do you idiot!" he smiled and pulled me into a hug.

y/username just posted a new story!

Morgan officially bought that house soon after and we moved in the next month. We had minimal furniture for a little while but after many trips to Ikea we were finally getting somewhere. It's a three bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a lovely kitchen and living room along with a relatively large back garden. Our bedroom is almost finished as well as Morgan's gaming room where he streams and the third bedroom which he turned into my beauty room. I told him It was his house so he should do whatever he wants in it and not use a whole room just for me but one day I came home to him sat on the floor building an Ikea dressing table. Once he spotted me he stood up and said "non refundable." pointing to the pieces on the floor, I shook my head and laughed.

Today is valentines day so I sat at my dressing table getting ready for dinner. Morgan is currently filming a football video with Chris (md). He felt awful for not being here but booked a nice dinner to make up for it. Once I was fully ready I took some pictures for insta. I heard the front door open and hurried downstairs. But I stopped in my tracks when I saw Morgan standing there with a large bouquet of flowers in his hands. "happy Valentine’s Day." he said. I stepped toward him and he handed the flowers to me. "They're beautiful, thank you!" I said with a big smile. I quickly placed them on the table and pulled him into a hug. "You look beautiful by the way." he said and I pulled out of the hug to give him a kiss. "Now, get ready we need to leave." I said.

Liked by dannyaarons and 360,855 others

y/username: happy valentines day💘

-comments-

angryginge13: ❤️❤️🔥

kaci.jay: so beautiful!

-> y/username: 🤍🤍

tenesseethresh: STUNNING🖤

user74108510: where's that dress from? x

-> y/username: oh polly xx

Morgan quickly had a shower and got dressed. We left and arrived at the restaurant just in time. We were seated and given menus. "Mmm, this all looks so good!" I said scanning the paper. "I think I'm gonna get the burger." he said, and I laughed "what?" He asked with a smirk. "so predictable."

We ordered and ate our food. By the time we left it was pitch black outside. We got into the car and Morgan drove us home. He kept his hand firmly on my thigh the entire way and we sat in a comfortable silence. Once we arrived home we went inside and I slipped my heels off. "thank fuck for that." I sighed. I looked up to see Morgan standing a few centimetres from my face. I looked into his eyes and his flickered down to my lips. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and he pulled me into a kiss. It quickly became more and more passionate and soon we were in our bedroom. He pulled the zipper of my dress down so it fell to the floor. He broke the kiss for a second to look down at me, he gasped slightly "no panties, you dirty girl." he whispered before pulling me back into the kiss. I smirked into the kiss and pushed him towards the bed so he fell backwards onto it.

I crawled onto him and pulled off his shirt. Both of our breaths were heavy as I removed his pants and underwear in one swift motion. His hard cock hit his stomach and I resumed the kiss. His hands were harshly grabbing my ass as I grind down on him slowly. "y/n," he groaned. I slowly pushed myself onto his dick. He let out a loud groan and began bucking his hips up into me. "fuck, y/n."

[t-barnzalez-hall-of-fame]

‼️INTRO POST‼️

If you are part of the server, send this blog asks of screenshots of whatever moment you want featured on the blog and I'll post it!!!!!!!!!!!

This blog is dedicated to the one and only Tranny Barnzalez discord server because it's full of a bunch of goofy goobers and we say lots of funny things!

This blog started 11 months ago due to a crackfic made by @us-costco-offical ...Troy Barnes x Danny Gonzales. We we're all brought together via community nbc Tumblr. And now we are basically a sitcom in a discord server it's amazing I love it.

Currently, interesting things are going on. Sub as toxic Paul dano bot. Jeffery combs obsessions. House md, stuff. And danollins. Mi Misha Collins x ...Paul dano (crack shipping we ARE NOT SERIOUS) WHATEVER you could never understand

The blog is currently run by Spencer aka me aka @Spinkertoot and the server was created and is owned by 🥁🥁🥁 @us-costco-official !!

If anyone in the server does not want to be tagged in posts or have their funny messages posted on this blog let me know!!!

[thelambthatkilledthewolf]

Well I guess I'm doing this now

I've officially made a real post so I guess that means I'm finally gonna do a real blog instead of just liking things like a coward

So hi! You can call me Mori :} (you can also call me Death but ik that makes me sound like a cringe edgelord so yk)

I'm a lil autistic fag and I don't shut up ever

My current hyperfixations are the magnus archives/protocol and the Mechanisms but I also still have many thoughts about Supernatural, Sherlock, Good Omens, Hannibal, and House MD

My special interest is Will Wood

I have a lot of headcanons so I'm probably gonna post a lot of headcanon compilations and stuff

And also I'll occasionally post art

My pronouns are it/its fae/faer zey/zer it/its she/her and they/them but also I'm maybe trying out he/him? Idk my gender is just an arcade carpet

I'll tag my own posts with "shut up mori" and any asks I get with "mori gets attention". My tag for my partner's art is "rooks art"

Ok I'm done now, enjoy the stupid blog :}

[burntheupholstery]

tagged by @voxofthevoid (waaaahh this has big senpai-noticed-me-!! energy.....) 🥺🤩

Rules: answer and tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with!

⟡ favorite color(s)?

black, purple, and a deep forest green

⟡ last song?

this official lo-fi remix of jujutsu kaisen OSTs! it's my current reading soundtrack.

⟡ last movie?

J-JJK0..... (can't wait for Yuuta to debut in the anime!! my sad sack of a depressive-reparative man... 💕💕)

⟡ currently reading?

oh, man. a whole ass bibliography on buddhism and death conceptualisation... but right now I'm struggling through "Death and the Afterlife in Japanese Buddhism", which is an essay collection on the topic. as a side-dish, a friend pointed me to Stephen Laumakis' An Introduction to Buddhist Philosophy so that too. Ya girl's atheist ass is really suffering... (this is self-imposed.)

⟡ currently watching?

ha. joke's on me. i'm bouncing between 3 shows: 1, Seinfeld (really) 2, House MD (because Shoko Ieiri; where is her watson??) and 3, Dungeon Meshi (actively following this one)

⟡ currently craving?

a salad, actually, which goes to show i really need to eat better.

⟡ coffee or tea?

same as vox. coffee: requirement to function. tea: nice to have.

tagging @emimayooo @nerd-bastard @ghostcat3000 @minnichan @beameized @approximately-174-gremlins @nearalways

[redeyye]

I posted 1,000 times in 2022

That's 902 more posts than 2021!

237 posts created (24%)

763 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@unbielevenary

@sketchdeath

@houseinblue

@hydra-collector

@spritespi

I tagged 865 of my posts in 2022

Only 14% of my posts had no tags

#no id - 165 posts

#image id - 135 posts

#art tag - 94 posts

#the mountain goats - 68 posts

#dracula daily - 38 posts

#ofmd - 19 posts

#house md - 18 posts

#pkmn - 13 posts

#id later - 10 posts

#ofmd spoilers - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#its just 'every ___ ever' videos that u wrote too late to post on shitty youtube so you make a shitty tweet and try to pass it off as a bot

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

we are officially in Droughtula until july 18

55 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

#4

so whats up with this episode where dr house is repeatedly confirmed to be autistic

56 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

#3

sometimes people post shit in the dracula daily tag that's just ruining people's fun. like let us speculate about if and where dracula is hiding out on the demeter!! we're reading this for the first time we don't know about all of dracula's powers!! that's why we're speculating!!!!

62 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

#2

The slow realization i went through as this coastguard came up like "huh weird this russian ship doesnt seem to have anyone steering it"

92 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

people in the dracula daily tags need to understand that yelling at horror characters that they're making the wrong decisions is not the same as believing that they would or could make the right decisions. like yes i want mina to open the journal right now and connect the dots to what's happening with Lucy, but I don't think that it would be justified for her to do that, that'd be really shit writing. I can still scream at her to do it though!

103 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[gloomy-k]

Thanks for the tag! 💕

My lore?? Idk what even counts 😭😭

I guess...

I'm fully trained as a tattoo artist (my dad was a tattoo artist) but never got officially licensed.

I went to college and dropped out twice, first for psychology (wanted to be a profiler) and then for graphic design (this was soul crushing). I worked several retail/service jobs and then didn't work for many years, and now I'm in school for cosmetology which is way more my actual speed.

I watched all of House MD from the very first episode while it was airing on TV for the first time.

Inu Yasha was a formative piece of media for me, first the anime and then the manga.

My favorite movie is Labyrinth and has been since I was a little kid.

I was in a beauty pageant when I was like 11 or so, and lost. I would never do it again or recommend it but it was a cool experience to have.

That's all I got rn 🤷

Tagging anyone who sees and wants to do this. Tell me your lore, I dare you 😈

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[psychadelickate]

House MD - House: ... or Not

Title: ...or Not Word Count:  1 278 Fandom: House MD Pairing: House x Reader Rating: Teen Gif: Not Mine Requested: Anonymous Prompt: Reader telling House she can’t do this anymore A/N: this was written in a span of 45 minutes, so I apologise in advance if it’s not good. Hope you enjoy reading anyway

It’s almost midnight when you finally get home. You take off your boots and coat and hang it in the mudroom before entering your home. The plush carpet feels like heaven on your feet after a day in three-inched stiletto heeled boots. You frown slightly when you hear soft music playing through the speakers in your home. You don’t remember leaving them on when you left for work that morning. Walking deeper into your home, you’re surprised when you stumble upon one Dr Gregory House fast asleep on the couch in your living room. This gives you pause. There’s no reason this man should be in your home, and yet here he is. Cameron had texted you earlier that evening asking you if you knew where House was since he hadn’t joined the team for dinner, and you’d admitted you had no idea. You’d made previous plans and you couldn’t cancel last minute. Honestly, you could have, but you had no intention of leading Dennis on any further. You knew this wasn’t going to work and you had no desire to pursue it any further and so you’d gone to dinner with Dennis to let him know you wouldn’t be seeing him anymore. Turned out, Dennis had plans to break-up with you as well. His reasoning though, was that he thought you and House have some unresolved feelings for each other. He didn’t want to fight for your attention knowing he was going to lose…

You have half a mind to wake him up and tell him to go home, but you don’t. Instead, you decide to let him know your spare room is available, because sleeping on your couch is going to be murder on his leg.

 His eyes open before your hand makes contact with his shoulder and his gaze pins yours. It takes a little effort, but he pulls himself to a seated position before talking. “How was your date?” he asks. “House,” if he picks up on your exasperated tone, he doesn’t verbally acknowledge it. “Too clingy? Too boring? Not manly enough for you?” House asks and it only annoys your further, but you really don’t have the energy to get into it with this man right now. “It was fine,” you reply hoping that will appease him.

It doesn’t. “If it was fine, why did you come home alone? It’s way past the third date already. A little bird – named Cameron - said you’re seeing this guy for three months already and you still haven’t sealed the deal.” “Cameron needs to mind her own business,” you snap. “(Y/N),” he uses that tone and just like that, the conversation changes from joking and flirting to serious. You hate when he says your name like that, because there’s no way you’d deny him anything he’d ask of you. Needing a bit of physical distance from him, you start walking toward your bedroom. Sensing this, House is quicker on his feet than you’d expected him to be and he follows your footsteps. He, however, stops at your door, not entering your personal space, instead, just leaning against the doorframe. Your heart skips at beat at the sight before you and you hope he can’t see the blush creeping up your neck and cheeks. “You didn’t answer my question.” “I didn’t hear a question,” you reply. “When’s the next date?” House asks you, though you don’t answer this question either. Not because you don’t want to tell him, but because there’s not going to be another date. You’re done trying, sure the timing is right, but there’s just no chemistry with the two of you. You’d been more excited to watch paint dry than go another date with him. “House, it’s late and I’m tired. The guest room is made up if you want to use it, or you can leave. It’s up to you. But this conversation is over,” you inform him as you turn down the sheets on your bed. He doesn’t move from his leaning stance against the doorframe, examining you. A minute passes… Then two… And just when you think it’s over, he steps into your bedroom. Just one step, but it’s monumental for the both of you. Yes, House has been in your home before, but never as far as your bedroom. There’d been no reason for his presence in it. “There isn’t going to be another date, is there?” he asks you. Your gaze snaps up to meet his. He doesn’t need you to vocalise your answer, you’re pretty sure he can see it written on your expression. House takes another step closer to you. “What was his excuse? You’re too good for him? He insecure about your job? The fact that you earn more than him?” Does he really want to have this conversation right now? “House, let it go. It’s over. Doesn’t matter what the reasoning was,” you tell him, but the man is nothing if not persistent. “Of course, it matters! Why wouldn’t it?” he’s incredulous at your response. “Come on (Y/N).” “Fine if you really want to know, we ended it because he thought you and I have unresolved feelings for each other!” You wait for House to dismiss the statement or at least have a sarcastic reply to it, but he remains silent, gaze still pinned on yours. It only lasts a minute and then he gets his bearings back and you know he’s going to deflect. “I don’t know what gave him that idea. We work together and that’s it. It’s just dinner on a Friday night, with the rest of my team!” And that finally triggers your anger. “Yes, because having dinner out once a week is a standard between friends, even though we’re still there long after everyone else have gone home. You crashing my dates doesn’t mean anything to you, it’s just a thing you do to pass time and entertain yourself. Scaring away potential people who are interested in dating me is a service you provide – free of charge!” your voice is rising with every word as you step closer to him. “You don’t want me, House and yet you don’t want anyone else to have me,” you poke a finger into his chest as soon as he’s within touching distance. This is new for both of you. You’d never been tactile with him, not sure how he would react to your touch, but you can’t help yourself at this moment. “You need to decide House, because this,” you wave a finger in the air “needs to stop. Now, I think you should go home.” You turn to leave but House catches your wrist, his long fingers banding gently around it, and pulls you to him. It’s not the best of movements, but he stands steady as you bump into him, coming chest to chest with the man. “Yeah, because I really would’ve wasted my time going on dinner dates with you if I didn’t find you interesting or if I didn’t like you. And I wasn’t scaring away potential dates, I was checking if they were worthy enough. Though the one thing I will admit to is I did like crashing your dates, seeing their shock and dismay at the fact that you aren’t available…” he continues. “Just what do you mean by – ?” your sentence is cut short when you feel House’s mouth fuse to yours, his lips gliding over yours, kissing you with all he’s got, stealing your breath. “This doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for not ‘officially’ asking me out,” you say but he could care less and pulls you in for another heated kiss.

if you’d like to be tagged, let me know tag list: @kyky9103​ @diaryofafan17​ @wefracturedmotivation​ @yeetmetohim @manicmarsupial​ @cameronmonaghantrashaf​ @kettnerjanea​ @graycrackle @andreasworlsboring101​ Masterlist here  Scroll down for House

[supernaturalwritingbunker]

Dinner Date with the Winchesters-Dean Winchester

Summary: Dean does something with Y/N’s food that Sam never noticed before. 

Warnings: Fluff and Language

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Words: 1528

Tag List: @elskinner45​ @you-a-southpaw-doll​ @it-is-rebel-owl-ma-dudes​

A/N: A prompt gave me inspiration for this! I hope you all enjoy!! To be tagged in More Dean One Shots, message me, submit an ask or comment!!

It’s only been a few years since I met the Winchester brothers. There was a ghost in my home and they quickly got rid of it. Finding out who it was, they salted and burned the bones. After that, I was too afraid to stay in the house any longer. Dean, after a private talk with Sam, invited me to go on the road with them. They agreed with me when I said I just wanted to hang at the motels, saying that would be for the best.

I can go through all the books and John’s journal helping them, but I will not actually go out and hunt with them. I didn’t want to get hurt and the boys didn’t want me hurt either. It wasn’t until about a year in when Dean officially asked me to be his girlfriend. We’d slept in motel rooms together and screwed around quite frequently, but we were never official. 

I of course said yes and we’ve been together for the last two years. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Dean tried to say I deserved the white picket fence and a huge house but all I want is him. I love traveling around with the Winchesters. I may have to stitch them up and ‘flirt’ with other guys to get money but I wouldn’t change it for anything. These guys are my home. 

I sit down on mine and Dean’s bed waiting for them to return. The three of us, me, Dean, and Sam, had to share a room this time since they only had a double room left. Grabbing the remote from the side table, I turn on the TV to see Dr. Sexy MD playing. I playfully roll my eyes, knowing Dean had to have the TV on before they left earlier. 

The door opens and in walks the brothers with two bags, the delicious smell wafting over from them, making my stomach growl. I smile widely.

“Hello, dear Winchesters! How did it go?” I stand up, giggling.

“You were right. We needed to check the office one more time. We found a picture of the girl and was finally able to shank her.” Dean smiles. 

I smirk. “Y/N is always right. When will you learn that?” 

He playfully rolls his eyes. “I’m so sorry, my dear. Whatever would I do without your amazing ‘always being right’ skills?”

Sarcasm drips from his mouth as he speaks. I playfully smack his arm and giggle. 

“Shush, Dean.”

He cracks up laughing and kisses my head. I grab three plates and hand them to Dean. He takes them over to the beds while I grab a couple of beers from the fridge. Dean grabs my burger and puts it on my plate before opening the wrapper. I see Sam watch his older brother with a raised eyebrow. Dean takes the top off my burger and grabs my onions before putting them on his plate. 

He then takes the pickles off his own burger and places them on top of my burger. After he does that, he gently places the bun back on my burger, so as not to squish it, before taking a large bite of his own.

“Wait...Do you always do that?” Sam asks as I sit down next to Dean.

I hand Sam his beer before speaking, glancing at him, curiously.

“Always do what, Sammy?” I take a sip of my own beer and put it on the side table.

“Does he always take off your onions? And give you his pickles?” Sam opens his salad box. 

“Usually, yeah.” Dean nods, before taking another bite. “It’s like an unspoken agreement between us. My pickles for her onions.”

“Since when?” Sam glances at us, curiosity and amusement written on his face.

“Well...on our first date, they didn’t take the onions off my burger.” I take a small bite before I continue. “Then Dean found out my favorite part of burgers is the pickles so he gave me his.”

Sam nods, chuckling quietly, before he opens his mouth and starts talking again.

“I’ve never noticed that before.” 

“It’s not like we announced it to you, Sammy.” Dean chuckles, sipping his beer.

“I think it’s kinda of cute.” Sam smiles.

“Shit. We’re gonna have to stop doing it. I don’t need anymore Rom-Com comments.” Dean teases, winking at me.

“But then who will eat my onions?” I pout.

“I will.” Sam smirks over at his brother.

“Oh hell nah. I got it.” Dean quickly says, looking at Sam. “My girlfriend...My onions.”

“Hopefully, she won’t be your girlfriend for long.” Sam mumbles around his fork.

“What was that?” I look at Sam.

“Nothing!” Both boys call out before turning back to the TV.

I shake my head. Winchester brothers always hiding shit from me. 

“Dean Henry Winchester! If you want to break up with me, you had best let me know now!” I say, turning my head to look at him.

He quickly shakes his head, almost fast enough to give himself whiplash. Swallowing the bite of burger in his mouth, he chases it with a swig of his beer before looking at me.

“No. No. It’s nothing like that, baby. I promise. I don’t want to break up with you. Sammy’s just jealous I’m the one with the smoking hot girlfriend and not him.”

I push my lips out and hum. “Mhmm, sureee!”

“I’m serious, babe! I…” He cuts himself off when he sees me smirking. “You are evil, doll.”

I giggle and shrug. “You’ve learned to live with it.”

***

A week later, Dean and I are in the middle of researching a case when Sam walks in with a bag from the burger place down the street. He puts the bag down and goes through it. I don’t look up as I put my hand out toward him. He lays a wrapped burger in my hand and I mumble a ‘thank you’ as I read the article on my laptop.

I finish the article, not wanting to lose my place, before opening my burger and I take the top off to get the onion when I gasp loudly. My burger has extra pickles and no onions.

“What?” Dean looks overs at me. 

“Samuel William Winchester! What did you do?” I glance up at him.

“I…” He starts.

Dean opens his own burger and takes the bun off. His eyes snap up at Sam.

“You...you fucked this up.” He shakes his head.

His burger must have the extra onions on it and no pickles too.

“No? I got you what you usually eat.” Sam pauses. “Right?”

“No, Sam. It’s our thing to switch the ingredients. It’s different if you just order it this way.” I sigh and put my bun back on.

“What’s the difference?” Sam raises an eyebrow.

“It’s our thing. A routine. I take her onion, she takes my pickles. It would be like if you...if, for two years, you ordered your salad the same way, taking out pieces to eat later or eat it a different way.” Dean starts.

“Like how I eat steak salads but put the steak to the side to dip in the ranch later…” I cut in for a second. 

“Yeah, then it would be like if someone ordered her steak salad but no steak.” Dean explains. 

“And, while we may not like to actually bite into the onions and pickles, the taste of them is still on the burger, and that’s what makes it taste just right.”

Sam bites his lip and nods. “I understand now. I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”

“It’s okay, Sammy. Just...Don’t do it again.” Dean smirks before taking a bite out of his burger. “Nope. Not the same.” 

I giggle slightly and nod as I chew through my own burger. “It’s not, but it’ll have to do. I’m starving.”

“I’ll know what to do for next time.” Sam sits down with a small smile.

“Don’t worry about it, Sam.” I smile as I eat. “We’ll let it go this time.”

He chuckles and nods. “Thanks, guys.”

I glance over at Dean and shake my head. He chuckles. I can’t let it go. It’s not the same at all. I hold my hand out for his burger. He looks confused for a moment, but hands it over. Giggling, I lay our burgers side by side, and lift the top buns off each. Taking some of the pickles from my burger, and some of the onions from Dean’s, I switch them for a moment. 

I ignore the brothers as they both watch me do my thing. I put the top buns back on our burgers, and hand Dean’s his. He chuckles, seemingly understanding what I’m doing, and a moment later, we do our ritual. He hands me the pickles I’d put on his burger and I hand him the onions I’d put on mine. 

We both take a bite of our burgers at the same time and smile at each other before we start chewing.

“Perfect.” Dean says, not caring about the mouth full of burger he has.

[starrynightarchive]

thanks for the tag @chameliyun !

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

Officially, 10. Unofficially? You'll never know. And I'm working on waaaaay too many things at once so. you can look forward to that.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

163,934. pretty low considering the fact that i write like a maniac. It's just that i don't finish my works easily.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for haikyuu!! and bungou stray dogs. i would love to write for a couple more but I'm consumed by bsd brainrot now. All day everyday. THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

friend, please (don't take your life away from me)- 449

he ain't heavy, he's my brother- 292

do you like or like like me? - 213

where we're from, there's no sun- 208

the love you gave me remains, that's why I'm still alive- 149

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Even though I've been putting off responding to them for sometime now because of classes but! they never fail to make my day. I keep coming back to them. i might not always know what to say, but trust me when i say i'm grateful for every single one of them <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmmm i write fics with a lot of angst content ngl but i also make sure to add happy stuff in between or at least try my best to make it bittersweet. but in my fic 'darling, don't you weep', no such efforts were made lolol. just Pain.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'd say my long ass iwaoi fic, till forever falls apart.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope! only lots of love which i'm immensely grateful for :D

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

no comment.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have not written one yet, but i might write one in the future! recently i've been thinking a lot about saiki & mob & anya shenanigans so. that might become a thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no again

12. What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

longest? a year almost, on my iwaoi fic that i mentioned above. i put a lot of effort and love into that one and it contains a piece of me. as for shortest, i'd say my femskk fic (fleurs du mal) that i finished in two? days or more like few hours distributed b/w those days because of the brainrot @littlesp1ders inflicted on me.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but if all goes according to plan @feralshadowdemon and i will be writing a fyozai fic sometime before we die.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? From all fandoms?

how dare you ask me this question. i'll give you a few: hilson (house md), iwaoi (haikyuu), and a Lot of rarepairs from bsd. but listen. listen. skk has me in a chokehold. i can't escape. someone please help. i might be very biased towards them.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my answer would probably make you go :O. it's a queerplatonic dynamic analysis of kita and oikawa. yes, the captains of inarizaki and aoba johsai. their personalities clash in every way possible and i really, really want to explore that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i would say my strength lies in the fact that i'm not afraid to be vulnerable and experiment with my writing. and i love writing. that's what makes my writing good, i'd say.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i get frustrated trying to write certain scenes with very specific emotions and actions because it's in my head but it's hard to make people see it the way i do. but i always take some time off, come back to it and write until i'm satisfied with the result.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

haven't done it yet, but i would do it if the story needs it/it enhances the storytelling. i'm also naming my current wip in tamil (indru, netru, nalai- literally translated to today, yesterday and tomorrow. it's a story related to time loop, reincarnations and the timeless nature of skk's love for each other)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published: haikyuu!! Unpublished: bbc sherlock or harry potter, i'm not sure.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

mean question. all my fics hold a special place in my heart for different reasons. but one fic that always makes me feel a strange (good strange) emotion is my brother-sister dynamic dazai &yosano fic, where we're from, there's no sun. underrated, imo. yes i'm hyping up my own work what about it.

i'd love to hear from yall, but no pressure! @feralshadowdemon @just-a-dinosaur-i-guess @zukkaoru @roobgumball95

20 Q's for Fic Writers

thanks for the tag @spacejammie-eimmajecaps!

How many works do you have on ao3? Officially 8, but I have one on anon and one currently unrevealed in a fic exchange

What's your total ao3 word count? 61,996

What fandoms do you write for? So far I've written for Death Note, Tangled the Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Haikyuu, plus a couple of crossovers. Haikyuu is definitely my main rn though

What are your top five fics by kudos? #1: Frosting and Freckles: 69 (nice) #2: Draw Me Near: 39 #3: [embarrassing anon fic]: 35 #4: Varian Is Not a Wizard: 25 #5: Midnight Coda: 21

Do you respond to comments? Yeah, I love to! I don't get a lot so they always make me happy :)

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? probably the anon fic sdfsk but other than that, Midnight Coda is kinda bittersweet because of what happens later

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? hmm idk but the sappiest is definitely Frosting and Freckles

Do you get hate on fics? Not so far, thankfully! I don't think I have a big enough readership for that haha

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have not; not sure what kind it would be if I did

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I love writing crossovers! A PJO/HP crossover was actually what got me into fanfic. Unfortunately most of them are merely concepts or abandoned (for now), but as for crazy, I think my Lunar Chronicles/PJO one is the craziest in terms of how the plot grew out of control from a simple "what if these two characters interacted" to "I could rewrite most of this series," which is why I got stuck and put it on hiatus lol but I do want to get back to it someday. Maybe once I finish my other active crossover

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge

What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest? Uhhh well if we count "working on" as "having it in the back of mind to get to but haven't worked on in months," probably Sent from the Heavens lol. If not, then Varian Is Not a Wizard (just over two years since I published the first chapter). Shortest is definitely Midnight Coda, since I wrote that pretty much in a day iirc

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it sounds like it could be fun!

What's your all-time favorite ship? From all fandoms? Dude I have no idea how to narrow that down. Best I can give you is my current fave is Tsukkiyama from Haikyuu

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Probably my "Leo Valdez ends up in the ATLA world" one :sob: It never made it past the word doc and about three pages of story and I haven't looked at it in like two years

What are your writing strengths? I like to think I'm pretty good at dialogue and grammar/spelling

What are your writing weaknesses? Everything else (jk). I am awful at describing scenes/settings; I get bored writing them so I don't put as much effort in as I should haha. I also tend to ramble and use passive voice too much

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I haven't done it, but I think it's fine as long as it fits the context

First fandom you wrote for? Published: Avatar: The Last Airbender. Unpublished: Percy Jackson

Favorite fic you've written? I think it's still Bent Out of Shape. It's so niche, but I had an idea and I executed it, and I'm proud of what I accomplished. Although once I finish Varian Is Not a Wizard, that might take the top slot.

No-pressure tagging: @supermarine-silvally @starrynightarchive @litterateur97 @palant1r @soreiya @lilac-writes @oloreandil @kandybarkreepshow @ellegamgee and anyone else who wants to!

[seven-oomen]

Yay, I’m so glad you liked the moodboards!  And I LOVE your interpretations!  For the most part I was going with a “which of these images feels right?  which ones immediately make me think of the story?” kind of process in choosing them, so I’m happy it seems to have been conveyed.  Some of them I had to tweak (Peter’s t-shirt, the necklace [although that wasn’t so much tweaking as You Know What, It Gets The Point Across, Good Enough]), so were just lucky finds (the held hands popped up in a search for a completely different project, but as soon as I saw it my brain was like “Oh, it’s Chris and Noah”)  And I was definitely going for a softer, sort of damaged but hopeful thing with my picks for the trio as adults (although I was going a bit insane at the phenomenal lack of shots of Noah out of uniform, oh my god, why were you failing me so hard Google?)

And I agree with you about your change to the upcoming stuff.  As much as I’m the last person to encourage angst (give me ALL the fluff!), there’s definitely going to be some anger to work through there, especially with teenagers.  They’ll need to vent to someone, even if it’s just each other or Derek, and not their dads.  They might understand why they made the choices they did, but they’ll still need time to process the emotions all this will bring up.  Any way, I’m loving all the hints and previews of what’s to come!  (Sending this as a submission so that I don’t flood your ask box…again…)

Honestly, I love getting messages so I absolutely don’t mind if you flood my ask box.

I also realize I’ve been sitting on this for like 12 days and forgot to finish this reply. Which I’m very sorry for, I can be very forgetful...

What I will say though, is the necklace is now officially in the fic and I put a backstory in for it as well. Won’t reveal that just yet but I really love that story and I’m very excited to read your reaction to it.

Also, all of the songs you’ve been suggesting are golden, I SQUEALED at High School Never Ends, omg I had a phase where I listened to that on repeat. (And watched those weird House MD music videos with that song)

So yeah, it might be poppy but I’m putting that into the playlist.

Right now I have Theo, Liam, Jordan, Corey, Hayden, and Mason written down for the new generation teens that will become a thing in the sequel or in the last few chapters of Once upon a time. Depending on where I can fit them in.

Also, if I may add, your reviews are golden and those along with the other reviews I’m getting have given me a light in darkness today. I’ve had an incredibly heavy therapy session and reading your reviews and those of others have kept me going today.

Oh! And if I may add, check out the Once upon a time scene ideas tag on my blog today, there’s a few fun ones I added today that I would love to get your thoughts on.

https://seven-oomen.tumblr.com/tagged/once-upon-a-time-scene-ideas

[lorelaigilmo]

I was tagged by @reputayswift! thanks for this ily 🌈

rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. don’t cheat. tag 10 (or however many) people.

gilmore girls

castle

house md

zoey’s extraordinary playlist

the bold type

what’s your favourite character from 1? lorelai gilmore. who would’ve guessed???

who’s your least favourite character in 2? vikrum from s08. just... no.

what’s your favourite episode of 4? 1x03. which had lauren graham singing satisfaction. so I mean you really can’t argue with that.

what is your favourite season of 5? of wow I literally binged the whole thing in like 3 days I have no idea what happened in what season! I just went back to look at episode summaries and stuff and I’ll say season 1.

what’s your favourite couple of 3? house x cuddy. with cameron x chase as runner up.

what’s your favourite couple in 2? castle and beckett!!!

what’s your favourite episode in 1? hmm there’s 1x08 love and war and snow, 4x21 last week fights this week tights + 4x22 raincoats and recepies if you exclude any rory and dean scenes this should count as one ep, 5x03 written in the stars with luke and lorelai’s first official date, and lastly 7x22 bon voyage. no I can’t be any more specific.

what’s your favourite episode in 5? I don’t think I really have a favorite ep because I only watched it once in a crazy binge exactly 1 week ago, but I’ll go with 1x10 carry the weight, because I think they handled that difficult subject really well

what’s your favourite season in 2? ahhhh this is really hard but probably season 4!

how long have you been watching 1? since about august of 2019! which is crazy it feels like home you know

how did you get into 3? umm it was on tv and my brother was watching it so that how I knew of it, but I started watching after a few friends told me they really loved it so I was like ah well then I must watch it all

favourite actor in 4? lauren graham! I’m biased towards her, but also jane levy gives an excellent performance!

which do you prefer? 1, 2 or 5? ahhh this is terrible! both castle and gilmore girls are like my home shows, with characters that inspire me and make me laugh and cry and UGH!!! I guess I’ll go with castle because it’s been with me longer and also it has less episodes that make me wanna die (entire season 6 of gilmore girls, I’m looking at you)

which show have you seen more of, 1 or 3? as I said I only watch tbt once, and I think I only watch house all the way through once, with very little specific episode rewatches, so I’ll say gilmore girls because I’ve been rewatching an episode at least once a week for months now. yes I know I’m crazy what of it??

if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? umm I guess zoey. she’s got a pretty cool superpower and I mean have you SEEN the men that are into her???

would a crossover of 3 and 4 work? asdffgjkhdjkgh house trying to diagnose what is causing zoey to see songs and being very frustrated not being able to prove she’s hallucinating I would pay good money to see that

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? I mean I really can’t top taylor’s answer (rory + getting her life together??? I died) but I’ll say... rory and paris??? that would be... interesting...

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? house md! they had some pretty brilliant things going there, although I am strongly ignoring season 8.

which has better theme music, 2 or 4? I don’t think zep really has theme music?? but it’s a musical show and all of the songs are good?? but also castle’s theme music is great?? idk how to handle this

I tag @superhero-bastards​, @acaptainandhisrunaway​, @lorelaigilmoure​ + anyone else who sees this! (feel free to ignore)

[segwaytoursofseattle-blog]

How hard is it to ride a Segway?

Until last week, when a humble, trundling scooter took out the fastest man in the world. At the World Athletic Championships in Beijing, cameraman Song Tao interrupted Usain Bolt’s 200m victory lap, knocking the world’s greatest sprinter clean off his speedy feet with a misjudged lean against an unseen barrier. The Segway was everywhere, again, for the wrong reasons, again. It looked as if Tao’s battery-run vehicle had careered out of control. It looked painful. But how hard can it be to learn to ride the world’s most talked-about gyroscopic balancing machine? I went to Segway Unleashed to find out.

It’s hard to say Segway Unleashed without sounding like you’re doing the voiceover for a disaster movie trailer. On the way to one of its two centres – where we are promised “the most exciting Segway experience in the south east and Milton Keynes” – I asked my friend what she thought of when I said “Segway”. She thought about it for a minute, then said, with certainty: “fleece”. To Segway is to trundle, in a fleece. Clearly we have preconceptions.

The branch of Segway Unleashed that I visit is just off the M25, in the grounds of a beautiful farm near Godstone in Surrey. I stick my head into the workshop and say hello to Ben Morling, founder and MD of both branches, who got into the Segway business after some success with a sphering, or zorbing, company. (You’re strapped into a giant, inflatable ball and rolled down a hill. Ben shows me the shape of his broken fingers, all sphering-related injuries, and I can see why he got into Segway instead.) Ben is reassembling a Segway, which came back from the repair shop this weekend, with a £1,000 bill.

I thought they might cost around £1,000, which is twice as much as the car I arrived in, so I ask him exactly how much a Segway would set me back. Six thousand pounds, he tells me, immediately dashing my dreams of zipping around Guardian HQ using only my natural balancing skills and the scientific might of gyroscopic sensors. Can’t you get one cheaper? “That’s why a Ferrari is a Ferrari,” he tells me. “It’s not the cheap, plastic crap. I went to the Gadget Show and I tried them, and nah.” He shakes his head. There will be no cheap, plastic crap at Segway Unleashed. “We’ve never taken out an Olympic runner on one of these. We’ve taken each other out, but not a runner!”

Ben is pretty sure it wasn’t a Segway that took out Usain Bolt. Not an official one, anyway. He shows me a still from the incident on his phone, and zooms in for forensic analysis. The rubber footplates that distribute the rider’s weight were absent. He thinks the mudguards were too small. The charge port is the wrong colour. There is no red line on the battery. It just wouldn’t happen at Segway Unleashed.

The price tag is one of the reasons people think Segways haven’t really taken off – even though other companies have brought out cheaper versions costing a few hundred pounds. That, and the fact that in many places, you can’t just jump on one and use it to nip to the shops, or for your daily commute. In the UK, they are banned from pavements (though only one man has ever been prosecuted – Philip Coates, from South Yorkshire, who was fined £75 under Section 72 of the Highways Act 1835). In Germany, they must be licensed. In Canada, they are banned from public roads and sidewalks. Legislatively, they are confusing, at best.

But here, on private land, seven of us are ready to learn exactly how far these two-wheeled mean machines will take us. We have signed to accept that there is some risk of a broken bone. I agree that I am not under the influence of alcohol or narcotics, and do not have any medical conditions that might impact my ability to control the unit. I am given a red motorcycle helmet that I decide makes me look like a Power Ranger, though when I say this to my friend, she has a look that suggests she is thinking, “Power Plonker, more like”.

We are ready. To be. Unleashed!

The Segways are in beginner’s “turtle mode” and will go at a maximum speed of 4.5mph.

Our group – me, my friend, a couple in their 20s, and a father and his two kids – begin the session in Zone One: a field in which we learn how to balance and lean. Our instructor, Kieran Richards, is on his third season at Segway Unleashed. He got into Segway after a couple of seasons of sphering, where he met Ben, who introduced him to the harder stuff. Confounding my notions of fleece, Kieran is a laidback skater who says he falls off the Segways all the time, but only because he’s trying to do tricks on them, which even he admits can be foolish. Leaning, he says to the group, is the key to everything. “Be consistent with your leaning,” he tells us. “Don’t be too aggressive with your leaning.” Usain Bolt has made his life a whole lot easier, because people didn’t really think you could fall off a Segway, and then suddenly, a video went around the world proving that you could, and how. Poor Song Tao, I think. Once a noble cameraman, now a “how not to” punchline in an off-road Segway experience on a farm in Surrey. Kieran says that people only fall off when they catch their wheels, like Tao did, or when they get too cocky.

I resolve not to get too cocky. 4.5mph sounds pretty slow, until you’re standing on a self-balancing scooter controlled by a gyroscope that relies solely on your ability to lean forwards and backwards with just enough oomph to make sure it moves.

It’s a bit like stepping onto solid ground if you’ve been on water for hours. It should be the easiest thing in the world to stand still and upright, but suddenly my legs are untrustworthy, and I rock back and forth. The trick is to relax, apparently. I am glad I don’t have a chest full of camera equipment to carry with me. Once balance is established, it’s fairly easy: forward to go, back to stop. Don’t be aggressive with your leaning. The seven of us zip around the training field, at 4.5mph. I avoid the bumps. After five minutes, I seek out the bumps. I wonder how hard it would be to do Segway tricks.

Zone Two: the woods. In the woods, we learn to use our knees as shock absorbers, and Joe Hammond, another skater-turned-instructor, starts “catching air” from a tree root that acts as a launching ramp. “You will not catch air,” he reassures us, though I start to think I would like to catch air. The woods are fun. They’re muddy and bumpy and even though the Segway is still going at 4.5mph (maximum), it no longer seems like a trundle. This is what extreme sports must feel like! If you’re doing them very slowly! I go over a root and feel my Segway lifting at least 2mm off the ground. I wonder if I could get sponsorship. Perhaps Nike would like to see their logo on my raincoat as I amble around a track in a wood. Maybe Vans would pay me to wear their trainers, as I lean forward into the unknown. An Adidas helmet. A Red Bull jumper. Perhaps, perhaps. I am ready for the final step. Zone Three: the time trials.

The time trials are the most dangerous part of the session. “This is where the psychology kicks in,” Ben tells me. Simply, he says, people are desperate to be the fastest, even though “there’s no prize or anything.” I am desperate to be the fastest. We get a practice run around the track, after a final lesson in leaning. Here, Kieran explains, you can actually put your weight on the sideplates, like a parallel turn if you’re skiiing, or like taking a corner on a motorbike. Joe does some leans that say: I mean business. None of us quite pull it off, but it’s getting serious.

Turtle mode is switched off. We are about to enter maximum Segway speed: 12.5mph. “I’ve come off at that before,” says Joe, like a man who has known trauma. We line up for the time trial. I lean forward as hard as I’ve ever leaned, except on the corners, which are muddy, and look as if they could be slippy. Then I lean some more. I whizz – no more trundling – across the finish line, and wait for our times to come in. I am not seventh! Applause. I am not sixth! More applause, this time for my friend, who fell off taking the corner a little bit too keenly, proving that I was right not to go feral. I am not … hold on. I am fifth. I am only marginally faster than someone who stacked it and had to get back on before she could continue the time trial. I get my applause. The sponsorship dream dies. We were all beaten by an 11-year-old, who managed the track “with a very quick time indeed, very fast”, according to an impressed-looking Kieran. Kids are fearless, we agree.

It does not look like Segways are going to take the UK by storm, but Joe thinks a version of them may become mainstream yet. The “new, smaller, cheaper things” he refers to have yet to adopt a common name, but are called swegways by some, hover boards by others. They are, essentially, Segways without handles, made more cheaply. Segway Unleashed has had people bringing their swegways to the farm, to see if they can be repaired. “I tell them, send it back to who made it,” says Ben. They are more of the “cheap, plastic crap” of which he does not approve. “You’re saying it’s a Segway like you’d say Hoover for a vacuum,” he says. His Segways are metal, not plastic. They are built to last.

Down and out: Segway’s other celebrity victims George Bush: Of course George Bush has had a Segway fail. The former president could no more stay away from a two-wheeled transporter than a Thanksgiving turkey could keep out of his trousers. In 2003, while visiting the family house in Maine, the then president stepped on to a Segway and went down instantly. Being Dubya, he got back up and proceeded to cruise up the driveway with his father, George Bush Sr, bringing up the rear on, yep, another Segway. One wonders if the company slogan – “simply moving” – was inspired by this very scene.

Piers Morgan: After Bush’s fall from grace, Piers Morgan’s Daily Mirror ran the gleeful headline: “You’d have to be an idiot to fall off, wouldn’t you Mr President,” adding that “if anyone can make a pig’s ear of riding a sophisticated, self-balancing machine like this, Dubya can.” However, Segways have their own way of redressing the gyroscopic balance of power and soon enough the another powerful white man was beckoned on to the bucking bronco. Four years later Morgan had an epic fall off a Segway while cruising along the promenade at Santa Monica beach, breaking three ribs. “Since only [Bush] and I appear to have ever fallen off one,” he later said, “I think the makers of the Segway can probably still justifiably claim the machines are ‘idiot-proof.’”

Joe Previtera: Aussie cameraman Joe Previtera provided a foreshadowing of Usain Bolt’s fate when he catapulted off his Segway during the 2011 Australia v India Test match in Melbourne. The culprit this time was a helmet on the ground, which Previtera drove over. The commentators burst into laughter and Previtera, who was helped to his feet by the wicketkeeper, confessed he had earlier bragged: “No way, I will never crash this thing ever.” Fact: sports cameramen cannot shoot and Segway at the same time. They would be safer, cooler (and possibly faster) gliding about the pitch in kids’ roller shoes.

Ellie Goulding: It’s not just world leaders and cameramen who are cocky enough to think they can tame the 12.5mph Segway. Pop star Ellie Goulding hopped on one on holiday in Miami, at first “taking off effortlessly along the pavement by the beach”, according to the tabloid who captured the tumble frame by mind-numbing frame. Disaster (OK, sand) struck, Goulding went flying, then got up and took a bow. In beachwear. You can see why this made the news.

Ellen DeGeneres: At the start of 2010 the US talkshow host did a monologue on the Segway X2 that Portia de Rossi had just bought her for Christmas. During the skit she rode the machine around the studio, then admitted: “I’ve already hurt myself on it twice.” The first time was on Christmas morning when, heading for a flowerbed, she threw herself off and split her shin open. The second was rehearsing the monologue and falling off while demonstrating her ability to go backwards. Cut to a clip of the fall and DeGeneres shouting: “Did we get it on tape because that’s the most important thing?” What a pro (or ego).

Jimi Heselden: The Segway falls into the tragic category of inventions that have killed its inventors or owners. In 2010, less than a year after taking over the company, millionaire businessman Jimi Heselden was driving his off-road Segway X2 when he fell off a cliff and into a river near his West Yorkshire estate and died. The coroner later said the 62-year-old reversed the machine to make way for a dog walker and died as a result of this ‘act of courtesy’. Less than 48 hours after Heselden’s death, research was published indicating that accidents involving Segways are on the rise. Chitra Ramaswamy

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[werealljustwinginit]

A tag game. Yeet.

1. Height - Tall. I never say my height because I watch crime shows and it seems creepy to me for whatever reason.

2. Zodiac - KILLER. Jk. I am a Leo.

3. Last Movie I Saw - Boyhood. I had to pause though cause I ran out of time to watch. The last full movie I saw was Crazy Rich Asians.

4. Favorite Musician - I honestly don’t know. I never know what to say for this.

5. Favorite Author - I haven’t read books in so long because fanfics keep me awake at night. I guess my fave series is HP though. So JK even though she is crazy now.

6. Fave Fanfic - ooooh wow. How am I supposed to answer this?! Anything by @parkrstark is amazing. @eccentric-artist-221b has a killer titanic fic I’ve been obsessing over. But one of the best fanfics I have ever read, hands down was Rules of Engagement (NCIS tiva fic). That fic was unlike any other and had the largest following. It was like it had it’s own fandom it was so large. Ugh, so good. And I was close with the author. It’s a shame people ran her off tumblr.

7. Favorite Movie - Forrest Gump.

8. Favorite Anime - Pokémon

9. Play any instruments? - No. I played the drums when I was little but have lost that talent.

10. Random fact - I really appreciate a good cocktail and my favorite to date is called a gin and jam.

11. Lucky Number - 8

12. Do you get asks? - HA! No.

13. Fandoms - Marvel, IronDad, Tiva, Steven Universe, Bob’s Burgers, House MD, Boy Meets World, and probs more?

14. Favorite Song - omg there are so many?? How is anyone supposed to pick?

15. What are you wearing? - Pajamas my dude.

16. Hair color - I truly don’t know. I don’t even know how to answer this for official documents.

17. Eye color - Beautiful.

18. Favorite food - Pizza and Buffalo Chicken

19. Hobbies - Snowboarding, reading, long boarding, rock climbing, and sleeping. Mostly sleeping.

20. Favorite weather - any time it’s between 65 and 75. That is perfect weather.

21. Favorite Superhero - Tony Stark.

I tag: every single one of you who are sitting bored at home and anyone wearing grey.

[starlightkun]

85 statements tag!!

i was tagged by the lovely @agustdomain (yes we talked for two minutes and you were super lovely)

long tag so im putting it under the cut, and i’m also not tagging anyone bc idk i just don’t

last

1. drink - diet coke!! im mildly addicted lmao

2. phone call - my friend, he needed to vent

3. text message - "i leave for ten minutes and y’all nasties start licking lamps” in a group message with krys ( @cheesyramynry ) and cj ( @vernwn )

4. song you listened to - shine by pentagon

5. time you cried - uh like a week ago because i was really tired physically and emotionally

ever

6. dated someone twice - nope, and i don’t think i ever could,,,,

7. kissed someone and regretted it - never even kissed anyone before so uh,, no

8. been cheated on - no, thankfully,, it’d like probs break me tho

9. lost someone special - yeah

10. been depressed - yes, a lot better now

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - no, and i plan on never drinking, the idea of not being in control of myself absolutely terrifies me, and i just kind of start crying around people when they drink (alcoholic mother)

fave colors

12. orange

13. purple

14. light gray

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes!! they’ve become some of my best friends now too

16. fallen out of love - nope, never been in love in the first place

17. laughed until you cried - so many times, most recently about two weeks ago

18. found out someone was talking about you - idk in what sense this means but yes????

19. met someone who changed you - yeah, for sure

20. found out who your friends are - absolutely

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - don’t use facebook and have never kissed anyone lmao

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - don’t use facebook

23. do you have any pets - four dogs, three horses

24. do you want to change your name - i quite like my first name, but i’d want to change my middle name tbh

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i had a space-themed sweet 16 and got a car!! it was real fun

26. what time did you wake up today - like 7 am,,, which is sleeping in for me

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping thank god,, unlike now, where its almost midnight and im doing this tag bc i took naps earlier and couldnt sleep

28. what is something you can’t wait for - sleeping

30. what are you listening to right now - im watching arrested development bu the last song i listened to was shine by pentagon

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - uh yeah??

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - the fact that i need to work during the one week that i was promised i’d have off

33. most visited website - youtube and tumblr probably,,, pretty much all i use my laptop for, plus writing

34. hair colour - light brown

35. long or short hair - just go tmy short hair baack!! i call it the bisexual bob lmao

36. do you have a crush on someone - a real intense one?? no, not for a hot second, but lots of people where i’m like ‘yeah id date them’

37. what do you like about yourself - that i’m the mom friends, and support my friends as best as i can; also my dimples!!

38. want any piercings? - i’ve been meaning to get a second piercing for years, and i want some cartilage ones too, and maybe a lip piercing

39. blood type -  either a or o

40. nicknames - mel, melly, lini, bini

41. relationship status - single, don’t plan on doing much for a little bit since i’m gonna be a senior next year and then leaving

42. zodiac - libra

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - house md, arrested development, uh the eccelston, tennent, and smith seasons of doctor who (i dont watch a lot of tv these days)

45. tattoos - none, but i really do want some when i’m older

46. right or left handed - righty

47. ever had surgery - nope

48. piercings - just your regular one in each earlobe

49. sport -  i swim, as well as coach swimming and teach swim lessons!!

50. vacation - officially on summer break, first week is my only vacation before i have to work seven days a week

51. trainers - i’m guessing this is like,,, the british term for sneakers?? i’ve got a couple pairs

more general

52. eating - got myself a pizza an hour ago

53. drinking - it came with the diet coke

54. i’m about to watch -  another episode of arrested development

55. waiting for - graduation/college

56. want - to eventually see literally a n y of the groups i like in concert,,,,,, they never come to florida smh

57. get married - not for a while

58. career - right now i teach/coach swimming, but i’m going to college for asl interpreting

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs, they make me feel safe

60. lips or eyes - eyes, i think they’re really pretty

61. shorter or taller - i don’t care either way, i’m fairly tall so it’s whatever to me

62. older or younger - at my current time i life, i’d prefer same-age, but in the future i don’t see myself caring about that much

63. nice arms or stomach - oof arms for sure

64. hookup or relationship - i’m definitely not about hookups, so relationship,,,, althought i for sure have commitment issues lmao

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant. so hesitant,,,,,,, i need to think things out before i do much

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger -  ,,,,,,never kissed anyone

67. drank hard liquor - absolutely not

68. lost glasses - don’t have glasses, i see for free

69. turned someone down - yeah

70. sex on first date - nope

71. broken someone’s heart - ,,yeah

72. had your heart broken - not commpletely, no,,, i never let myself invest that much,,,,,, part of the commitment issues i guess

73. been arrested - lmao no

74. cried when someone died - yeah, a little too much

75. fallen for a friend - a bit

do you believe in

76. yourself - of course,, it wavers sometimes, but i know i’ll be okay in the end

77. miracles - sure

78. love at first sight - absolutely not

79. santa claus - until i was thirteen lmaooo

80. kiss on a first date - meh, maybe

81. angels - not in the biblical sense,, but i think that people can eb angels in their own right

other

82. best friend’s name - there’s a few,,,, gwen, krys, nathan, cj

83. eye colour - light brown with a little bit of green around the outside

84. fave movie - dead poets society, handsome devil, and john mulaney’s comedy specials on netflix (don’t even @ me, they count)

85. fave actor - can’t rlly just pick one,,,, chris evans is pretty cool tho, and so is tom holland and chadwick boseman