#then feel guilty about it

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[chloesimaginationthings]

I know Vanessa regret saying this in the FNAF movie,,

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[datcravat]

brexit <3

[willthespy]

happy unofficial birthday to my son!!! 🎂

wondering what’s in that box…. (genuinely don’t know) (i rushed this) (badly)

[egophiliac]

like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?

(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)

[sunshikilo]

wanderer's adventures in sumeru

THANK YOU FOR 70 FOLLOWERS BY THE WAY!! some news, i made an offical art twitter account! 🥳 its @/marsunshi and i linked it, right now im focused on genshin there and will be a lot more active, but im still going to try and post mcsm content here because i have Many wips ^^ i also have my ao3 linked there and i have a few drafts of mcsm works that i might post at some point..who knows

[linkedin-offficial]

more vivian things

[skeleslime-phantom]

Maybe he'll come around to it? 🤔

[angelofthe2000s]

Spuffy is great because it’s so predator/prey but working out who is actually the predator and who’s the prey will give you a headache

[catmask]

it is insane how normal i am medicated like. you mean this was an option the whole time. what

[chloesimaginationthings]

How did Henry let William’s ideas pass in FNAF..

[thegradus2]

“Surely not…. It’s been 15 years… and anyone would have stopped before getting disowned, noone would lack *that* amount of care for themself”

And then basen doesn’t stop thinking about it for a week

[utilitycaster]

Honestly the biggest point against Liliana is that all it took to make Essek willing to throw Ludinus Da'leth under the first available bus was some weirdos giving him snacks and company and asking a few questions about his personal life, and Liliana literally wouldn't listen to her only daughter holding up a memento from her husband and begging her to stop.

[nipuni]

On an unrelated note, I've been checking out all the content about DA: Veilguard that is being released lately and I'm so excited!! Of course this is entirely subjective but to me It looks absolutely incredible!! The environments are jaw dropping, the character creator is amazing and the hair is probably the best I've ever seen!! the companions are so distinct and fun in their designs and I'm loving their stories from the glimpses we are getting. The combat I'm aware it's not everyone's cup of tea but I love it! I'm an action combat enjoyer and this looks so dynamic and flashy and fun. The main story seems to be everything I was hoping for ten years ago to such a ridiculous extent, for some reason I feel that the writers were reading every Solavellan fic out there all these years lmao. I'm in a permanent state of 'I can't believe they actually did that', it feels like they finally reached the full potential of the vision they had for this story and couldn't quite get there in Inquisition. The scale and visuals are insane and they held nothing back ahhhh I feel so catered to 😭

[tapakah0]

Joining yeye23