#the write up is so nice wtf!!!!!
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haha crazyyy I ended up in an article on bookbub!
#what a nice surprise!!!#the write up is so nice wtf!!!!!#i'm so flattered whattt LOL !!! ty to leila for including me!
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conversation in a server inspired me.... angie in outfits worn by my local librarian + angie in worldwide hatsune miku trend. shes a serb now
#shes sooo fun to draw ugh...#i should start my own -#angela tag#so i can go back and look at my art of her......#i miss my librarian a lot she was so nice. (shes alive just retired a few years back)#always had swag as hell outfits....#hope shes having a good day#and for the serbian traditional clothing#i chose to go with a region up north - zrenjanin; because the . look at it. thats just her as an outfit wtf. pale librarian pose be upon ye#and the other two are from west/southwest serbia i just thought she would look cute in those!#im obsessed with the hair in the 2nd#okk now tags for searchability..#library of ruina#project moon#art i made#i should look into how to write image descriptions properly its a thing id like to do but just. idk i shit my pants thinking about it
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here's a return to sunfall (and blazon arch and the two carja gates near it)! the mod has been updated so there were no more endless loading screens when i recorded this :D makes exploring much more fun!
i'm not as excited about this thumbnail but it took a lot of super annoying work to set up so here's a(n unfortunately small) version without text:
#horizon forbidden west#hfw#out of bounds exploration#hfw out of bounds#video#also sorry to write a book in the tags but:#honestly i am very Done with this video. i had So. Many. Issues.#trying to get a recording as smooth as what i see in gameplay (fail). not falling off of things while recording (took 3 attempts lol)#getting the tallneck facing the right direction (several tries)#uploaded to yt and got a copyright warning(?) from sony because of music. wtf! it was just what plays in the game?!?#yt basically said “you're allowed to use it but the copyright owner can change their mind at any time” so#i tried to re-edit that section and ended up rendering the final video FOUR MORE TIMES bc a track was missing or off by a few miliseconds#and THEN i had to upload it to yt AGAIN which takes *literal hours*#so anyway fuck this video lmao#but i put a tallneck in it tho so that's nice#oh and i was able to get close to the leafcutter ants :)#hfw pc#(remove reload boundary mod)
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A little update; I've gone absolutely bonkers with writing between panicked revisions for Exams™ and thus can announce that Part 8 is gonna be around 16~k words (most likey somewhat above 16k tbh)
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ 🎶
( (;; o o) ??? )
#That's like 30-something pages according to this one word counter so yay#Idk how tf this happened since basically none of this is filler or angthing#(imo everything is either important or makes it less 'dry' to read so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)#(tbf I had to both break canon's spine AND align things to my liking (but not necessarily SIkuna's lol) so it took some effort heh)#I'm gonna try my best to finish it up today but if my eyes start hurting too much I'll sadly have to think of my health smh smh 🙄#(they're kinda randomly infected so like wtf sir ma'am mx'am I am in THE Reading A Lot time?? I got exams and fics to write!!#I did get some proper eyedrops for it but uhhhhhghh it's still rAthEr unpleasant smh smh)#Anyway yeah idfk where all these words came from but hope it'll be nice to read rather than '???'#ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ#Thinkings™#SIkuna#(deliberate misspell)#ryomen sukuna#jjk sukuna#syuuya#jjk#jjk fic#jjk fix it#jjk fix it fic#jujutsu kaisen#also that one place is supposed to say *anything not whatever misspell happened
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Why the fuck did he make this noise
#alex’s dc rambles#anyways I’m slowly becoming an Aiden fan he and Jake have such a nice like friendship(?) now I love it#also I’m caught up. loved ep13 also wtf are they doing to Riya and Ally#for every good writing decision (Jake & Aiden arcs) there are also the horrors (demonizing 2/3 women left)#guys where did Riya’s nuance go. did you drop it again. be honest#anyways here’s how aleconniya can still win (it’s so over)#wtv. back to party jaking
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My god I need to finish this website so I can write diary entries and not be this obvious abt it
#ive lost part of the embarrassment of splaying my thoughts out here when I need to get them out since I ramble in the tags anyway#but a small part of me gurgles and whines nooo ohh no its gonna show up on my precious mutuals timeline noooo#then again idek what I would write for the purpose of keeping a journal than share my wretched visions as they come the way I’m doing now#im so bored. ive always had sleep problems when it comes to drifting off so getting sedated was really nice for once#listening to minecraft music helps because I drift off focusing to each piano key and note so thats an improvement#but like I wanna work on this stupid website but idk how to start like it feels daunting somehow#I’m gonna get it done either way but I have to do it feeling whatever this emotion is and I know this but guh. bbbhhuhgb#also wtf would I even put on that thing. I can see myself getting bored of it really quickly as soon as I feel like I’ve done all I can#but i still wanna have everything in one place where I can do whatever I want with the css/html#diary#yapping#I wonder if I can get them to extract the rest of my wisdom teeth just so I have smth to do
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I'M BEEN OVERTHINKING THIS FOREVER I just wanted to say I'm sorry if anyone thinks anyone is love letters is ooc like I know I put that as a warning and stuff but I just worry about it so much 😔 I'm definitely going to be trying to consume a lot more suna media and rewatch the inarizaki match I've just been busy but really wanted to write intros!!! I PROMISE YN IS NOT SUNA'S ENTIRE PERSONALITY 🙏
#been so worried about that#i promise promise promise#if anyone was curious wtf i mean by the horrors of my past relationships LMAO ik people often hc him as a skater yk which is cool!!#but i once had a thing with a skater boy who also straight up told me he stopped doing drugs for me and then proceeded to cut me off#started doing drugs again AND THEN told me he really liked me and i was like ??? no#idrc if u do drugs or not but apparently i no longer matter enough for u to stop if that was important to u??#so both are topics i lowkey cannot write 😭#spilling my love life in the tags pt. 2#AND THE POINT IS THAT HE COMES COMING INTO MY MIND WRITING LOVE LETTERS AND I DON'T APPRECIATE IT 😐😐#the only good thing is when i write something and i'm like “wow this is really sappy” it's probably something he would've done or said#so ik like a real life person would do it#at his peak he was actually nice but then he drove himself off the cliff#also i'm a cancer#so#yep#just had to get this out bc my overthininking wouldn't leave me alone#ness' brainvomit <3
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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)
I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏
#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that#wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it#so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always#i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone#tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know#and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone#let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to#i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself#but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice#makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude#so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry#i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody#i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them#everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share#this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this#tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb#hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one
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Everything day
#Had an Extremely long Game Day with smol today and I think it fixed my brain so that's great news#Past week has been rough!!!! Got hit with a semi-minor anxiety episode and a pretty serious depression episode to bookend last week#I'm all good it's just - took a bit out of me lol#Any number of things really too many to list so I'll just sum up as blegh - feeling better now#Started a new printing project!! Looking forward to that hopefully gonna do some test printing tomorrow#It Should work out well but pfbtl I can't count on my formatting skills for nonsense - shapes wtf are those#Been drawing <3 Been writing <3#Thinking quite very seriously about returning to doodle roots something awful#I tend to spend a Long Long time editing my stuff down by three different phases#Makes them very pretty! But I think I've had enough of that for the moment#New! Novelty! Needed and necessary and I'd rather Write about these than fuss more about how Pretty Or Not they are#They're pretty enough! I've made shapes on paper that previously didn't exist and now I can think about them as they are! Magic!#So that's the current plan - do still have One more step of editing to do before that lol but smol had offered me videos to listen to during#Good to have longer videos so I'm not constantly start-and-stopped#Oh and Pepper went into molt Again and just came out and he's genuinely gigantic now#And so dark! Handsome boy was a nice soft brown when we picked him up and so tiny small and now he's nearly black and huge#And so furry now he's definitely at least twice as fuzzy#Got him to eat - he was definitely hungry but he seems to be pacing himself still#Everything everything
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i seriously can't wait to find out what angela and wesley named their daughter. 🥺💗
#*and this is icarly!#the rookie#angela lopez#wesley evers#wopez#i hope they didn't actually name her erin sorry lol#seriously tired of tv shows naming babies after dead people or family members#it'd be nice if there was a little more originality in the writing room when they come up with baby names#one of my biggest pet peeves with oth is that all the babies were named after the girl's last names#like....#for some reason that just DRIVES ME UP THE WALL#JAMES??? SAWYER???? DAVIS?????#ARE YOU KIDDING ME????????#i'm sorry but it makes me so irrationally angry like wtf#just be more creative than that jeez!!!!#anyway....#i always thought elena evers would have a nice ring to it#so ig that's my inaccurate prediction#do you guys have any guesses or ideas of what the baby name could be?#comment below i would love to hear them :)
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...
#the thing abt me is that if u complement me in an academic context i will melt#me walking into every interview: fuck this school. i dont wanna go there. im sad. on one is gonna want me. i can hardly function. fuck this#me walking out of every interview: fuck. the project is cool and they said nice things abt me 😭#fuck. the guy from the lab i interviewed with basically said if u wanna be here i can make it happen. i like ur style and i think ur a#super good candidate 😭 and he quoted my wanky writing bc i got a bit flowery and idealistic lol#and hes on the admissions committee so he was like: yea i can support u if u want just let me kno#and fucking hell the project is cool. but the thing is i think id have to be less of a sad sac bc i think he expects a lot and is hands off#but it is a big institution with a lot of creative ppl and theyre good abt supporting interdisciplinary work#so like the opportunities there would be pretty fucking great i think. hhhhhh god. theres no way i could take the uk one now#fuck. wtf am i gonna do abt that? do i bow out now before ive committed so they have a shot with another person#or is it too late for that bc they already put my name forward to the committee#god dammit. this was the one i was supposed to b like yea no shot am i getting this. and now im like fucking considering it like#the opportunities.... but id have to live in new jersey... it would b closer to home i guess. id b back on east coast time#and i could work with Yellowstone organisms. and i bet the classes r pretty fucking rad education wise#god. decisions. im gonna play Choices by the Hoosiers like a million times#thats what i did wjen i was deciding to go for undergrad. and then i didnt even decide. i was just like... well i dont wanna go to the#place all my classmates r going. i will go 3hrs away. then 12hrs by plane for my masters#fuck. at least it went well. everyone was nice and the 2nd guy i talked to was like:#even if u dont go here. email me if u end up working with zinc and i can help. and i was like 😭#i got a bit rambly with him but whatever he was 15min late so we're even lol#i was way too nervous. but it was ok. but also i dont understand wtf other incoming phd students r like??#like they say im a good candidate and ive got good background and im like ??? what sort of losers r u looking at if u think im good?#i just think maybe what i wanna do is unique and very specific so im like not trying to do just anything. i have standards lol#and apparently im more coherent than i give myself credit for. i talk good sometimes and i have enthusiasm when i dont feel like im dying#god. i was not expecting this. i dont belong at a school working with tech startups like wtf. i come from a place of slightly trash#universities lol. well my undergrad uni wasnt so bad... well i mean the city is the butt of a lot of ohio related jokes tho. im looking at#u klinger. fucking mean streets of toledo. whatever the school im at now is worse. couldnt even keep my boss here smh#anyway what the fuck. and i got a lotta writing done today what the fuck#me being competent???? unheard of. god. imagine if i had my shit together. i could kill god. algae and other scientists would fear me#unrelated
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been almost 3 yrs and i am still struggling with the whole mikachi first meeting thing. bye
#for zl its something simple. i just saw cute fanart of it with another ship [ p sure it was someones 2 ocs ] and enjoyed the idea#i lost my black umbrella irl but tbf it doesnt really matter because i always fucking forget to bring it anyways. so sometimes i get caught#in the rain. so idk zl lends me his umbrella bc. fuck! heading in the same direction and is like hey loser . . let me help you . .#cue immediate heart eyes bc handsome stranger helped her. like Wow Yuo Are So Cool... ♡#afterwards she mentions this interaction to her friend [ yun jin or hu tao .. unsure but they are both so silly so its hard 2 decide ] and#then they are like wait i know that grandpa you're talking about! let me set you up lalala theres this whole thing i'm lazy#i'll write about it Maybe bc i do want to write for my platonic f/os. and also cover all the [ firsts ] in my self ships#its just: i don't like feeling obligated to stick to things (like a series or theme or whatever) so maybe not. would be nice though..#nobody in this world is allowed to laugh at me i'll die#as for childe my plan was he breaks into her house and then shes like wtf who r u?!! they make eye contact and kiss + get married asap#no actually i truly dont know. zl's is slightly easier because he lives a mortal life. just chills#has connections with a lot of the liyue chars. literally just enjoying his retirement era now#ajax doesn't have many connections ( other harbingers but they dgaf about each other i think x ) and i just cant imagine that. idk#just fucking. bumping into him would lead to anything. maybe i should turn into a fish and have him fish me up and then i transform into a#girl and then we fall in love what do you guys think (losing my grip on humanity)#💭#mika ♡ ajax#mika ♡ zhongli
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I just realized that a lot of my writing for my TWST fics is heavily inspired by Game of Thrones, The Witcher and Brandon Sanderson's works, especially in regards to Kalim's whole family, the Vipers' struggles and Leona's backstory (which is half original). I have no idea what to think of that.
#seriously I still have no idea how the fuck so many people think Kalim's father is a nice person#all the evidence points to him being a monster#hell one of Jamil's lines in the JP version heavily implies that Kalim's father beats his staff#like wtf!?#it's a fucking miracle that Kalim didn't turn out to be a spoiled brat or like Joffrey with how messed up his family is#my writing just expands on this and shows what they would realistically be like#as for Leona since his backstory is something left to be desired#I gave him the John Snow treatment if you know what I mean#aqua rambles#twisted wonderland
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I know you’ve said you don’t really like writing smut, so I thought I should ask. Should I be getting my hopes up for smut in on a Friday?
SO it's not necessarily that I don't like writing smut... more like I'm just not very good at writing it 🤣 I always get myself confused about what is where and then make myself cringe trying to make it sound sexy and then I start laughing and it becomes significantly not smutty or sexy and very "sub-par" HOWEVER people have been so nice and encouraging about the little smut prompt fill that I posted last week and it has given me a tad more confidence that maybe my smut writing is getting better?
ANYWAY, to answer your question, there are some smutty scenes in the outline for On a Friday, I can't guarantee that they are going to be as spicy and smutty as one would usually hope for in an omegaverse fic, or that they are going to be any good, but I am in fact going to do my best and try really hard, especially because they are um rather angsty sex scenes? Is that a thing? I feel like at least with my writing it's probably a thing. Anyway, my previous comments stand - please don't make fun of me too much for my smut writing attempts, I promise I'm trying and I do want to get better at it, I am just a sensitive soul who gets distracted very easily and loses track of where all the body parts are and then I make myself cringe with the dialogue because it ends up being cheesy and not the vibe.
Thank you so much for reading and reaching out and I hope you enjoy the fic - upcoming subpar sex scenes and all!
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#fanfiction#matty fic#on a friday#omegaverse#omega verse#attempt number one of that prompt had my bestie being like wtf ally i know for a fact that you've interacted with a dick before what is thi#then again maybe i have set the bar so low that it can only go up from here?#one can hope#i have been reading all the spicy books to try and get better#but also i just like spicy books#i am the spicy tok expert at my store#which is hilarious for how bad i am at writing it myself#yall were so nice and encouraging about that prompt though#so maybe it did get a bit better?#that one comment on my topgun fic scarred me haha#when they called it subpar#like okay fine maybe it was subpar#but i am trying#cant we get points for enthusiasm and effort?#because i came out guns a blazing with both of those#though i do like to think that my one real skill as a smut writer#is how unfortunately aware i am of the male refractory period#and how it can be extremely inconvenient when writing about two dudes#because im sorry i dont care how hot it is so and so would not be ready to go that fast again#ask me how i know that about men#then again ... in omegaverse we dont have to worry about that#there are no ruleeessss
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starting to think that Sensei just doesnt have a name.
#speculation nation#ive been scanning thru chapters where he shows up in early trimax#and ive only seen him referred to as Sensei#by both Vash and Brad#even the list of floating ship residents just has him listed as Sensei#he doesnt even have a WIKI. wtf is wrong with this man#shaking this scrawny lil gramps by the collar like TELL ME YOUR NAME!!!#ok it's rly nice to see old stuff but it makes me emotional bc seeing wolfwood makes me emotional#GAH i should stop spending so much time researching little details like this#the one bad thing about having a time travel au is i have to know shit from the entire fucking manga#which i know general events but some parts of it i spent reading in a haze#so ive forgotten a lot. ESPECIALLY names.#i will be conducting a reread. i was planning on it anyways#but it will be Essential for the purposes of this fic. im gonna have to have a really solid grip on the timeline & events#i am starting a real undertaking i guess. but im kinda excited#i wanna make this fic something special. and that includes incessantly researching minor details that really are not important#bc it's my attention for details that really sets my writing apart i think. at least i'd like to think so.#anyways gramps i GUESS ur gettin put into this as just Sensei. bitch.
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Due to a series of circumstances, I ended up going through my old Facebook and I really don't get how I managed to not change in ten years lmao. I made the exact type of posts I would make today. Really expected to go back and find myself cringy but nope. RIP to those of you that found your younger selves cringy but I'm built different. 😅
It's weird but I'm strangely glad that I haven't changed. I even remember ten years ago going through some of my old stuff and remarking the same thing. I've never deleted any of my old stuff to try to let it be a mark of progress and I'm glad. Yeah my writing and interpersonal skills have improved, but I've not fundamentally changed as a person. I might not have gotten everything right the first try, but I did my best with the information I had at hand. At the end of the day, I'm still recognizable as me.
#aquila be quiet no one cares#it's weird because I didn't need to go through one of those I'm not like other kids phases because I perpetually live through one#every time I open my mouth to express an opinion it usually garners some form of someone going wtf are you talking about#so naturally I've stopped trying to relate and just living my truth lmao#I've never really needed the validation of strangers for my self worth and it's so nice#like even one of my coworkers and I were discussing anger earlier and he was like yeah most people have this anger built up#and I'm just like ??? I've not been legitimately angry since I was really young and still talking to my parents I just cry#it reminds me of how I had one creative writing professor that was practically begging me to write nonfic about myself#I really prefer fiction because it's fun to create diverse stories of people whose lives are a lot more different from my own#but my life is equally as odd too so I get where she's coming from#not one singular detail about my life is ever normal for the majority of people and that's a valid story too#I don't think I'm capable of writing a boring character if I tried#I'll probably throw something entirely off the wall in there by accident thinking it was normal
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