#the women's team have a sports psychologist | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

its-time-to-write · 1 year ago

Note

hi i love your work.

can i get touch deprived reader with jamie or roy

you totally can! It just comes at the low, low cost of way more words than you bargained for. Fair warning, Jamie isn’t even introduced for a good solid chunk of the first half. I also have been touch deprived so this is based on personal experience lol.

I feel like I let this get away from me in the same way the Vienna fic got away from me😂

sinking into your worn out mattress

It’s the same routine every day.

Wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home, make dinner, fall asleep, repeat.

It’s not a bad thing, necessarily. You’re nothing if not efficient, maximizing your time to the best of your abilities. It’s not the most glamorous thing in the world, but you enjoy it. You’re lucky enough to be working on your supervision hours under a renowned psychologist, Dr. Fieldstone in London, and it’s paid. Over half the people in your cohort are struggling through unpaid internships and juggling a second job just so they can make ends meet. You’re all propelled forward by the promise of better pay as soon as it’s all over, dreaming of the days you can own your own practice.

You’re not even sure how you landed this internship, as Dr. Fieldstone rarely ever takes on interns. (She’d tell you later it’s because she saw the same potential her supervisor saw in her.) But you have it, and you’re now assisting her in her on-location therapy to various sports teams. You’d been at a rugby club for a few months, but now it’s time to move on. Dr. Fieldstone was asked to come back to a previous club and although she’d never admit it, you know it was her favorite group to work with. It’s the only club who’s picture is on her desk. It makes you smile every time you see her surrounded by a rowdy-looking group of footballers and two very American coaches. She had said that the one with the mustache was no longer at the club, but the bearded one still was along with the angry looking man to the side and the short, grey-haired man.

You’ve seen the photo so many times that you have everyone’s faces memorized. You’re secretly excited to meet the team that made Dr. Sharon (in her colleagues’ words,) loosen up.

You weren’t friends, with Dr. Sharon, never once dropping the “doctor,” that preceded her name, but she would occasionally swing by your standard housing with a bottle of wine after a particularly difficult day.

“This job can be emotionally draining,” she’d say. “I always wished I had someone there for me at the beginning.”

She rarely smiled or showed outward affection, but you understood that this was her way of saying she cared.

But now you’re packing up your flat into your car, and headed to your new quarters in Richmond, London.

—

It’s apparent that Dr. Sharon has a strong connection with the players. There are a small few who allow you to run each session, most preferring to stick with who they know. Your days are mostly filled with analyses and treatment plans, with about two real session a week, one with Rojas, D and Maas, J. You don’t even sit in with Dr. Sharon much anymore, as the thought of an observer makes some of the players uncomfortable.

It’s stressing you out.

How are you supposed to fulfill your hours when you can’t even get consistent sessions?

Dr. Sharon, in her limited kindness, refers you to a friend of hers in town.

“She runs a small practice and works mostly with women. You’ll be able to keep your housing and fulfill your hours. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

You look at her. “Right,” you reply, “because you’re going to have so much time to help me out between all the things you’ve got going on.”

She rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Listen. Since you’re not my intern, I can become your therapist. I’ll even give you a discounted rate since you’re still interning. We’ll set up weekly sessions. You’ll be fine.”

You’re still not sure. Dr. Sharon can see the apprehension in your face. “Alright,” she says. “If you schedule our sessions in the evening and cook dinner, I’ll do it for free. It’ll be informal, one therapist to another.”

That’s big. She rarely does anything for free. In a moment of boldness, you say that to her face.

She cracks the tiniest smile. “It’s possible that I’ve grown fond of you. And even more possible that I’m addicted to your cooking.”

Huh. You suppose miracles do still happen.

—

Sharon is over for dinner for the third time in a week, and you’re suspicious that she might actually enjoy spending time with you. You’re laughing about some stupid story that happened during a natural environment observation (it involved a slip n slide, an obscene amount of shaving cream, and footballs being thrown at players heads) when out of nowhere you feel tears slipping down your face.

“Oh my gosh” you say while maybe laughing, maybe crying, “I think I’m broken.”

Sharon (she insisted you drop the “doctor,”) asks, “Are you alright?” and you shrug while you begin full-on sobbing.

“I don’t know what’s happening,” you say between gasps. “What the actual heck.”

At that, Sharon grins. You’re retaining some element of your humor, despite actually crying.

“Just go on and fucking swear already,” she says. “I think we’re past a truly professional relationship.”

You shake your head. “No!” you say. “No, my mum wouldn’t like it.” Fresh tears start to fall at the mention of your mum. Sharon is actually concerned now.

“I’m not sure you’re alright,” she says, and you shoot her a no duh look. “Let’s discuss what might be the root of your issue. Have you been feeling differently lately?”

You’re wiping your eyes and trying so hard to get it together. You’re not even sure what your problem is. You were pretty sure you were doing fine, but you think back to your week. It had been pretty standard, nothing out of the ordinary. You shake your head.

“There is nothing too small to mention. Anything out of your usual routine? Physical discomfort, emotionally-draining sessions?” Sharon asks.

“No,” you reply, tears almost under control. “Wait. Yes.”

Sharon looks at you expectantly. “God, this is going to sound dumb.”

She reaches out to pat your hand. “There’s no such thing as too dumb,” she says in her therapist voice.

The gesture is so much like something a sister would do.

“Right,” you say. “Ok. My, um, the insides of my elbows like, hurt? They just feel weird, I don’t know. It started two weeks ago I think and usually I can just pinch them and it’s fine, but that’s the only thing I can think of, I guess.”

Sharon has gone full therapist, and is giving you an analytical look. “Hm,” she says. “Tell me more.”

You shrug. “There’s not much to tell. It’s not like painful, it just feels weird. I hug my pillow when I sleep and that also helps. Um, I push up my sleeves so they go around my elbows and the pressure helps.”

She asks, “When was the last time you saw a friend?” and you can’t think why this is relevant. But you also can’t remember.

“Probably since before I moved,” you say.

“And when was the last time you saw your family?”

You begin to see where she’s going.

“God,” you groan. “I’m an idiot.”

Sharon laughs. “Do you see why it’s so difficult for therapists to self-diagnose? We’re so busy trying to save the world that we forget to save ourselves.”

“But it’s so stupid,” you say. “It’s like, one of the most basic forms of self-care.”

Sharon shrugs. “Touch-starvation is a real thing. It manifests itself in different ways and apparently yours manifests itself in your elbows.”

It’s so ridiculous that you laugh. She does too, and reaches out to squeeze your arm. “I’ll be more mindful of it,” she says. “In the meantime, you need to find yourself some friends. Some people your own age. I’m prescribing you at least two nights out a week.”

You knit your eyebrows together. “I don’t even know where I would go. Or how to meet people. Or what to say!”

“That’s the problem with us therapists,” Sharon says. “We’re really best in a clinical setting. Shouldn’t be let out of the house, really. How about this; next time Richmond has some group event, you come. They’re a rowdy bunch, around your age, too. It’s an incredibly healthy environment, and you’ll be easily accepted. It will be a nice gateway to having a social life. There’s a match this weekend and they’re almost guaranteed a win, so keep your calendar open.”

You open your mouth to protest but Sharon holds up a hand. “I’m prescribing this as your mentor, not as your friend. It will be a healthy change of pace, I promise.”

—

Seeing AFC Richmond in person and off the pitch is like an out-of-body experience.

You’re putting names to familiar faces, and getting a crash course on their personalities.

You know Dani and Jan Maas from your short stint as their counselor, and they’ve taken it upon themselves to introduce you to everyone else. Dani is holding your elbow to guide you around to all sorts of people, and you can physically feel the serotonin production in your brain.

You meet Higgins and his wife, the hosts of this barbecue as well as some of their children. It’s hard to miss them because they keep coming up to shoot Dani and Jan with nerf guns. They’re weirdly prepared, pulling out their own from thin air.

“Don’t worry,” Jan says, “We’ll defend you.”

It’s very much like a large family gathering. You meet Richard, who kisses your hand and comments on your beauty. Zoreaux, who smiles and asks if you want anything to drink. Bumbercatch, who asks if you can read minds. And finally, Roy and Keeley who are standing in the kitchen and definitely were not kissing right before you walked in.

“This is one of our coaches,” Dani beams. “He and Keeley are very much in love, but they will not admit to each other, least of all themselves.”

Roy says, “Oi!” while Keeley blushes. Jan shrugs.

“It’s true,” he says. “There is no point in dancing around it.”

“Fuck off!” says Roy, and Jan and Dani are saved from certain death by head-butt as Keeley steps between them and says, “It’s nice to meet you! We’re so glad you could come,” and wraps you in a tight hug.

She’s small, but she’s strong. You have trouble breathing for a moment in the best possible way.

“Heard you work for Dr. Sharon,” she says. “That’s got to be fucking difficult.”

You laugh. “Yeah, but not in the way you’d think,” you say. “I’d already sold my soul to my education long before I met her. She’s actually trying to help me get it back.”

Keeley grins. “Is that why you’re here then? To reinstate your soul?”

You’re cut off from replying by the appearance of someone new. This one is in Sharon’s picture too, standing in the middle slightly to the left and smiling with the tip of his tongue sticking out. You always thought he seemed like one who looked so happy and carefree because he actively chose to be that way.

“Who’s reinstatin’ their soul?” he asks, squeezing in between Dani and Keeley.

“This one here,” Keeley replies. “You met her yet? She’s Dr. Fieldstone’s protégé.”

“Oh,” you say. “No. Not really. I was just doing my internship with her, but I had to move because…” you hesitate.

“Because no one wanted to talk to her except me and Jan,” Dani helpfully fills in.

Jan adds, “They were all intimidated by the fact that she is close to their age and so beautiful, as well stuck in their ways of having Dr. Sharon. Only Dani and I were willing to give her a chance, and she actually helped me through some important life decisions.”

You had? It hadn’t seemed that way at the time. You feel less crappy about your time at Nelson Road, though. It wasn’t like they didn’t like you, they just preferred to stick with what they know. That, you can understand.

“Mint,” Jamie says. “So you ain’t the team’s shrink anymore?”

Roy rolls his eyes. “Fucking observant, you are. She hasn’t been around in fucking ages.”

Jamie shrugs. “I was just checking!” he says defensively.

You smile. “It’s alright,” you say. “I’m sure you’re busy, and there’s always a lot of people coming and going.”

That seems to surprise Jamie. Almost as if he isn’t used to people defending him. You file his reaction away in your brain, adding it to your collection of knowledge about the football team that made Sharon zip across England for.

—

It’s been two and a half hours, and you’ve have more food and laughter than you’ve had in ages. Dani and Jan Maas had left your circle in the kitchen a while ago, fulfilling their promise to chase around the youngest Higgins boys as well as Roy’s niece Phoebe, and another girl who’s name you didn’t catch. Sam has joined your group now, and he and Jamie are funny together in a way that reminds you of your brothers. They’re constantly ragging on each other, teasing Roy, and throwing things.

Jamie, it seems, is the comedian of the group. You can tell he’s showing off, presumably because there’s a new face. When it’s time to eat, he says, “Stick with me, love, that way you don’t get stuck next to some uncultured animal,” even though Sharon is there and you’d be fine to sit with any of the boys.

But, he’s already grabbed your hand and is pulling you to a spot near Roy and Keeley as Sharon looks on with an amused expression. You send her a single pleading glance (although you’re not sure what you’re pleading for) and she just gives you a shooing motion. She’s happy to sit with Rebecca and her boyfriend. And someone who’s name you’re pretty sure is Coach Beard.

Ever the gentleman, Jamie pulls out your chair for you before settling into his own. There are tables all throughout the house and a few in the front yard, and you’re glad he picked one outside. It’s a little cloudy, but nice weather.

And god, there are people. People who are talking to you, hugging you, tapping you on the arm and holding your hand, even if it is just to make sure you don’t get separated in the stampede to find seating. Your arms aren’t even a little sore, and you can feel Sharon’s observing eyes on you. You know for a fact she’s going to have a lot to say next time you have dinner, but for now all you can think about is the way Jamie’s arm is pressed against yours, as he leans in to explain a football term that Roy just used to threaten Jamie with.

—

You’re not sure how long this party is supposed to last, but it’s three hours later and there is no sign of stopping. The sun is just barely starting to dip, and time has lost all meaning. You don’t know if the meal you ate was supposed to be lunch or dinner but it doesn’t matter because you’re so full that you can barely make room for the pile of desserts that Mrs. Higgins has pulled out.

You’ve moved inside now, since Jamie pulled you through the dessert line saying, “You have to come with me, so I can put my dessert on your plate. That way grandad can’t have a fit.” You understand that “grandad” is Roy.

You’re smart enough to notice that Jamie’s hand is in yours at every opportunity he can find, and that he’s still holding it even though you’ve finished your dessert and are flopped on a couch inside. He’s absentmindedly rubbing circles with his thumb as you chatter on about nothing.

“Oi,” he says, when you’ve lapsed into silence, “is this alright?”

You’re not sure what he means until he holds up your still-intertwined hands.

“Keeley says I’m more touchy than most. Don’t want to fuckin’ weird you out or some shit.”

You smile. “You’re fine. It’s actually really nice.” You decide to leave it at that. No point in explaining touch-deprivation to the cute footballer you just met. Talk about oversharing.

Jamie smiles back, a real one that lights up his whole face.

“Mint,” he says.

—

“Jamie’s romantically interested in you,” says Sharon’s voice through the phone.

“How do you know that?” you ask. It’s the morning after the Higgins party and you only have a 2pm session. Sharon texted you to call her as soon as you woke up, so you do and she drops a bombshell on the first ring. You doubt Jamie would have told her this himself, as Dr. Fieldstone isn’t one to break a confidence.

“Basic body language,” she replies. “Repeated physical contact, the way his body was angled toward yours all day, the fact that he went out of his way to make you smile. All classic markers of romantic attraction. Any trained therapist should be able to pick up on it.”

What she means is, you’re a trained therapist. You should be picking up on it.

“There’s no way,” you say, but it comes out more doubtful than you’d hoped.

“Right,” says Sharon, “there’s no way. In the same way that there’s no way I’m only mentoring you because I see myself in you.”

“Oh,” you reply weakly, because that’s a lot to unpack.

“Oh,” she mimics. “Right. Well. I’ve got to go. Make sure you remember the mental exercises I gave you. Therapists need to take care of their minds too.”

You say thanks and hang up.

Oh.

—

You’re home again from your session, and you are tired. It was mentally exhausting and all you can think about are the pair of sweatpants in the drawer by your bed and the box of pizza that should be at your flat in fifteen-to-twenty minutes. That was about thirteen minutes ago, and you’ve just been puttering about since placing the call and changing out of work clothes.

There’s a knock on the door and you say a quiet yes, before hurrying to answer. You open the door to two people on your doorstep instead of one.

“This your pizza?” the delivery boy asks. You nod, thank him, and hand him the money. He’s gone so you acknowledge the other person in front of you.

“How’d you know where I live?”

Jamie shrugs. “Asked Dr. Fieldstone. She isn’t as scary as she looks.”

“And why are you here?”

You place the pizza down on the small table in your entryway. It hasn’t escaped your notice that Jamie is practically standing in your doorframe now, inches away from you.

He wraps his hands in the front of his shirt. “Isaac was telling me about body science,” he says. “Been teaching me how to read people and shit based on how they move.”

You nod. Body language. Yeah, you know a thing or two about that.

“Anyway, he said you thought I was proper fit. Which is good, because I think you’re proper fit. But, just in case he were wrong, I thought I’d come over and give you a chance to tell me.”

His left hand is on the doorframe now, and you can see the top of his tattoo peeking out from under his bright orange hoodie. There is exactly one inch between you two as he slants his body toward yours.

“You can tell me to bugger off, if you want,” he murmurs. “Won’t hurt my feelings.”

You don’t say anything, just stand on your toes the tiniest bit so he has better access to your mouth.

You can feel his breath when he pulls away.

“Oh,” he says, “I didn’t come here for sex. Me mum raised a gentleman. I’d buy you a coupla dinners first.”

“Shut up and kiss me already, Tartt,” you say, and he’s grinning, free hand cupping the back of your head.

—

You think that’s probably the fastest you’ve ever gotten into a relationship.

“Labels are important, babe,” Jamie had said that night. “How else will you know if food is poisonous?”

You’re pretty sure he’s talking about checking for allergens, but you don’t correct him. You’re on your couch watching a movie with his arm around your shoulders. He’s playing with strands of your hair and it’s strange that you’re this comfortable with a boy you just met yesterday.

Because he is a boy. You’re the same age, but you feel impossibly, inadequately young. He plays it off as youthful exuberance, and you’re sure it’s an advantage on the pitch. Your age doesn’t feel like an advantage to you, but you can’t change it so you might as well just deal with what you’ve got.

You can be professional in the morning, but right now you’ve got a cute, fit boy who thinks you’re cute and fit and so far has not given off red flags. You’re extra alert ever since your call with Sharon, trying to pick up on every subtlety, but you stop trying as soon as Jamie rolls up a piece of pizza like a burrito and tries to fit it all in his mouth. You know that Sharon would have been the first to tell you if this was a bad idea, and the fact that she even told you Jamie was interested is basically like her giving her blessing.

Jamie leaves too soon, but he does so with your number in his phone and the promise of “a proper date,” as soon as you both can manage.

—

“A proper date,” turned into two proper dates, then three, then four, then seeing each other steadily throughout the weeks, then your first sleepover after the third week. Your skin was all tingly when Jamie invited you over to his for dinner, telling you he was going to cook for you. You knew exactly what was going to happen that night and made sure you were prepared.

You dressed nice, in clothes that gave him easy access to your skin underneath.

“Am I rushing this?” you had asked Sharon the day before. “I’m asking you as my mentor. Am I being an idiot?”

Sharon had taken a moment to consider before answering. “You’re smart for your age. And wise beyond your years. I don’t think you’re being an idiot. We can’t let our work consume us, no matter how important it is. You’re a brilliant therapist. You’re always giving yourself away to those around you. You deserve something for yourself, and you know how to pick a good one.”

You hugged her for those words. She seemed startled, but accepted it. You didn’t think life could get much better.

You were wrong. You discovered life could be so much better the moment Jamie’s hand slid under your skirt and you were kicking off your shoes on the way up the stairs.

“Stay,” he whispered when you were done. “It’s fuckin’ late anyway. You can use my shower and wear one of my shirts. I have an extra toothbrush. I fucking hate sleeping alone.”

So you’re in one of his t-shirts and your underwear, arms wrapped around Jamie’s waist.

You think what am I doing? but Jamie presses a soft, sleepy kiss to your temple and you think maybe you’re doing something right.

—

It’s been a hell of a week. You’re swamped, Jamie’s always at training, and neither of you have been able to make the time to see the other in days. Your inner arms are sore again, and your dinners with Sharon have been short and extremely clinical in a way you desperately need. However, once-a-week therapy is not enough to get rid of the feeling you have, and you wake up throughout the night holding your pillow as if it were Jamie.

You’ve gotten used to having his hand in yours, your head on his shoulder, knees touching and arms wrapped tight around your body. Having it taken away is worse than before, because at least then you didn’t really know what you were missing. Now, you feel as if you’re going to die unless someone does something, even if it’s just a high-five.

You’re sitting at your kitchen table, one knee pulled up to your chest as you review case notes. Your food has gone cold because all you can do is cry. You’re so tired and so lonely and it shouldn’t be this way, but it is and you’re just over it. There’s a knock at the door so you wipe your eyes and answer it, hoping you look normal.

It’s Jamie.

The moment you register who it is, you’re launching yourself into his arms, wrapping around him like a spider monkey. He laughs. “Hello to you too,” he says, spinning you around. He stops when he feels you shaking in his arms.

“Oi,” he says, frowning a little, “you alright, love?”

He can feel tears on his neck.

“Babe,” he says, “did something happen at work?”

You shake your head, face still buried into the crook of his neck. “I just missed you,” you croak, voice muffled.

Jamie chuckles at that. You’re lucky he’s strong, because he’s able to carry you to the couch like it’s nothing, kicking the door shut behind him without losing his balance. He settles with you in his arms, rubbing a pattern on your back.

“It’s alright, love, I’m here,” he says, and you’ve never been more grateful for the fact that he calls you love more than your actual name. It’s like he’s always reminding you how he feels about you.

You just hold him tighter, letting the terrible feeling you had all week fade away. When it’s mostly gone, you pull away so you can look him in the face.

“I- I have this thing,” you say. Jamie looks concerned.

“Are you dyin’?” he asks.

“No!” you reply. “No, I’m not dying. I have- I’m touch-deprived. I let it get really bad sometimes and then I can physically feel it. You can look it up, it’s a real thing.” You don’t know why you feel the need to defend yourself. Jamie’s just looking at you, all quiet seriousness.

“That what it’s called?” he asks. “I know what you mean. Fucking had it two years ago. Used to egg Roy on just so he’d push me around and the lads’d have to hold me back. Wasn’t near me mum anymore, so I didn’t have anyone to hug me or anything. Sounds dumb, but… I just needed someone to touch me. Like if they didn’t, it meant I didn’t exist. Fucking mental.”

“Mental,” you agree.

Jamie smiles. “You’re the fucking best, you know that?” he asks. “I’m never bored when I’m with you. Came over to see if you wanted to watch a movie or play video games.”

He’s stroking your cheek with one hand, other still wrapped around your back.

You smile back. “I really, really love you Jamie Tartt. I’ll play video games, I just don’t want to play FIFA.”

Jamie’s smile drops. “Shit,” he says, and you think it’s because you don’t want to play his favorite video game. “You weren’t supposed to say it first, I was. I was gonna tell you tonight anyway.”

“It’s not a big deal, babe,” you say.

“No.” He shakes his head. “It’s a big fuckin’ deal. Now I’ve got to make it up to you.”

“No you don’t,” you say.

“Yes I do,” he replies. “I’m gonna tell you every fucking day how much I love you. I’ll drive home early from away games just to hug you. I want you to always feel like you have the love you deserve.”

You’re at a loss for words.

“Cat got your tongue, don’t it?” Jamie asks cheekily. “Not a problem, babe. I know how to get it back.”

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

704 notes · View notes

goatmati · 1 year ago

Text

Aitana Bonmatí, one step away from the Golden Ball: "I suffer because I always want more".

In her book United We Are Stronger (2022) she says that as a child she was "cold and hard". Why does she say that? She answers in the photos, sitting on the visitors' bench at the Johan Cruyff stadium: "My childhood was not easy because I was the only girl in a man's world, and the fights, the insults I received, I think I kept them to myself, I was not able to get them out and I simply put on a shield.”

“Sometimes you would end up in fisticuffs.”

“Sometimes, it wasn't the usual. The usual were the insults.”

“They got you fried.”

“Quite a lot.”

Andrés Iniesta writes by message: "I am proud that Guardiola compares me with the best player in the world today". The prodigy says of Bonmatí: "What I would highlight most is her evolution: she has gone from being a good team player to having an increasingly important role to the point of currently leading the national team and Barça along with Alexia Putellas and other great players". He emphasizes her technical quality, her speed, her skill, her goal sense and "her great winning mentality".

Her former coach emphasizes one word: ambition. Aitana Bonmatí's ambition.

“What is ambition?”

“Wanting to be the best in everything, having the desire to improve every day and to reach the top in all areas," the player answers.

“Where does that come from?”

“From me.”

“But where does it come from?”

“I've never asked myself that question. I've always been very competitive, very ambitious, a winner, haven't I? Since I was a little girl. I don't know, I would say that it doesn’t come from my family, they have many virtues, but they are not competitive and even less so in sports.”

“I don't allow myself to fail.” Too self-demanding?

“Yes, but over the years I have learned not to be so hard, to understand that one is not perfect and that mistakes sometimes make you improve.”

Bonmatí this year has won the World Cup, the Champions League, the League and the Super Cup, and has been MVP of the World Cup, MVP of the Champions League, MVP of the Super Cup final and best player of the year for UEFA. She should be satisfied, at the very least. "I don't know, she's insatiable," responds Cristian Martín along with Ignasi Cardó, her representatives.

Bonmatí knows about the double-edged sword of perfectionism. She deals with it with her club psychologists and in private therapy. "I'm rarely happy with my games because I always want more, but I'm managing it better and better. I still suffer, but not as much as before. I allow myself to be a person and I allow myself to fail."

In the last World Cup, after winning the match that gave them the pass to the final, she spoke with Mayca Jiménez, a journalist from Relevo. There were a few days left before the final and Jiménez asked her if they would celebrate that night. "No celebration", was the answer, followed by the need to sleep eight hours and other comments about essential guidelines that should not be skipped, not even that night. Jiménez underlines her courage in standing up for herself. When Japan beat them in the group stage of the World Cup, Bonmatí spoke to all the media, Spaniards and foreigners, in good English. She pledged that they would learn from the defeat. She said: "I ask for forgiveness.”

"Ambition is wanting to be the best," says Bonmatí.

She says she has seen women's football grow a lot, but points out that it still has a long way to go. "This is the beginning," she says. On what is lacking in women's football, she prefers not to say just one thing out of the many she would have to say. Although she mentions the obvious "precariousness" of some fields in Liga F.

She reflects on language. Should we continue to say women's football? She thinks not and proposes: "Either specify masculine or feminine whenever football is said, or not specify and that according to the context it is understood". She praises Barça's vision in betting on non-hegemonic sports sections and declares herself a "convinced Culé", although she had an offer from Olympique Lyon in 2021 that gave her pause for thought. "Important decisions should not be taken from one day to the next. I like to evaluate all the options," she explains. In December 2021, she renewed her contract until 2025.

She has recovered a bit of her tone. When asked what she thinks of the cliché that a footballer should not talk about politics, she replies that freedom of expression is the same for those who work in a company, in a hospital or in a football team. That said, today is not the day she feels like exercising it. It's over. Aitana Bonmatí needs to go and rest.

Note: Aitana has played 140 consecutive games for club and country. The grind hasn’t stopped for a second.

But also,

Please let my girl rest. She’s done so well.

(Excerpts of the interview she’s done with El País Semanal.)

#aitana bonmati #aitana bonmatí #fcb femeni #barca femeni #barcelona femeni #balón de oro #she’s so well spoken #I love her interviews

71 notes · View notes

myrebelancestorsdiedforme · 7 months ago

Text

Brett Ball 🫡 Salute😍✊🏿🙏🏿

It was very early in Brett Ball’s experience as a student-athlete with the women’s basketball team that things did not go her way. She came to South Carolina in the summer of 2011 as a scholarship athlete. But before the season began, she was diagnosed with myocardial non-compaction in the left ventricle— a rare genetic heart condition that made it impossible for her to play basketball.

photos of brett ball as a team member and as a Ph.D. candidate

Years: 2011-15

Position: Team vlogger

Key stats: Ball was diagnosed with a heart condition and never got to play for the Gamecocks, but she stayed on scholarship all four years and helped fans get an inside look at the team through her behind-the-scenes videos.

Degrees: Bachelor’s in criminal justice, UofSC; master’s in integrated communications, University of Mississippi

Current position: Ph.D. student in health communication, University of Florida

“I totally could have just said, ‘I’m leaving, this is not going to work out for me,’ ” says Ball, a Ph.D. student in health communication at the University of Florida. “But Coach Staley honored my scholarship. I was still part of the team. When we would travel, I was there; when we had film, I was there; I still attended practices. I did pretty much everything the team did, except work out and play.

“She still coached me as if I was on the court, but in a different way,” Ball says of Staley. “I had to be on time for practice. I had to be on time for class. She didn’t let me just go about in my own way.

“At first I didn’t like it because I was just so frustrated with not being able to play. I thought, ‘I’m not playing so why do I need to do these things.’ But it still made me feel part of the team because I was held to the same standards.

“I don’t know if she had ever had a player under her wing who didn’t play. What are you going to say to make them feel better? She would say there was nothing she could do to help me play, and the only thing she can do is be a guide and I totally respect that. The best thing she could do was be a support system.”

Staley and the basketball media team came up with an idea that Ball would do videos with her teammates to highlight their many off-the-court talents and build up excitement among fans. The show was called Ballin’ with Brett.

“Our team was pretty dynamic,” says Ball, who graduated from UofSC with a degree in criminal justice. “We could have had our own TV show. We had rappers, comedians, drama queens. We definitely had a team full of personalities.”

Producing and hosting the videos got Ball interested in journalism and communications — an interest she has pursued since her time at South Carolina, earning a master’s in integrated communications from the University of Mississippi in her home state.

“It was as good an experience as I could have had without being able to play ball.”

She expects to complete her dissertation and Ph.D. in May. Her research focus is on mental health among African American female athletes, a subject she knows much about.

“Being nine hours away from home, if you’re not somewhere with resources — and USC had resources from A-to-Z — it can be difficult,” she says. “The school had people there who helped with the stress. We had two Black psychologists in the athletic department and that was really helpful for me. That’s how I got started looking into the mental health of athletes.”

Ball says she talked with her advisers and mentors at UofSC before each major life decision she has made. She says she is uncertain where her Ph.D. will take her, but lessons learned from her time with Staley and the Gamecocks women’s basketball program will never leave her.

“I am really interested in ways to improve the mental health of student-athletes. I want to figure out ways to destigmatize mental health and mental illnesses within the athletic and sports space.

“I want to use my experience with mental health, my experience not being able to play and experience with cases of depression and anxiety and I want to be able to help athletes, even if it is from an academic standpoint, about what Black female student athletes have to go through."

#Brett Ball #dawn staley #south carolina gamecocks #heart condition #scholarship

10 notes · View notes

virtchandmoir · 2 years ago

Text

An Evening with Olympic Champion, Tessa Virtue

May 19, 2023

Olympic Ice-Dance Champion, Tessa Virtue follows a mission of empowering and inspiring young girls in Canada. Pictured with a young fan at the recent event in Weyburn.

The community gathered on Thursday evening for a much-anticipated visit by Olympic Champion Tessa Virtue, organized by the Weyburn Young Fellows Club. Following past delays due to the pandemic, Weyburn welcomed the decorated Ice-Dancer to the event with applause following a prime rib dinner prepared by the Young Fellows.

Questions were fielded to the public prior to the event and streamlined into a panel hosted by Moderator Katherine Gilliss for the evening. Gilliss was thrilled to occupy the role of Moderator as a self-proclaimed "super fan, but not in a weird way!", and added a genuine element of interest that led the conversation to answer the questions on everyone's minds.

One of the most common points of interest in Tessa Virtue's athletic career is her relationship with dance partner, Scott Moir, and how that relationship developed as they grew up. First partnered together at the ages of 7 and 9, Tessa and Scott were only children when their potential was first recognized. By their teens, they had entire teams of support staff dedicated to their success on the ice, including Kinesiologists, Sports Psychologists, and even a marriage counsellor.

"Despite the comments we often received, we were focused on cultivating an environment of respect towards one another. Every day, we were committed to lifting each other up and making each other the best athletes we could be; and so at the ages of 15 and 17 we actually visited a marriage counselor to help strengthen the relationship that we were building."

Olympic athletes often train for the games in what they dub as 'quads': Four-year long cycles of training, qualifying, and competing towards the world stage. Following their first quad, having missed qualification for the 2006 Olympic Games, Virtue said that their resolve had strengthened knowing the next games were in Canada. But by the time they had competed at the following Games in Sochi, Tessa recalled feeling "tired and almost disillusioned towards sport." She had even assumed they would be stepping away from competition.

However, it was together that Virtue and Moir decided to continue on. This time, flipping the script and building a support team the way they wanted it to be, rather than becoming the athletes that a support team expected them to be. The duo built a support staff of 25-30 experts and held monthly board meetings to clearly determine how they could extract the best out of their team, "which is really the exact opposite of what we were used to at that point," said Virtue. "Doing things our way completely shifted the dynamic and led us towards the pursuit of excellence rather than chasing perfection."

Virtue shared that this shift in perspective also led to much more effective training strategies. For example, when most ice-dancers fell during practice the norm was to start the routine over again from the beginning, seeking to do it again and again until perfection is achieved. Their newfound pursuit of excellence helped her face and overcome her biggest fear: Failure.

"To fail in skating means falling, so we had to find a way to prepare for that in our training. In a four-minute routine we would train to purposely fall at every blow of the whistle, so that we could experience what it was like to fail. But more importantly, what it was like to pick right back up and continue the routine after falling."

Having not only found a new resolve for the fierce competition of high-performance sport, Tessa said she gained a new perspective on her personal and professional lives. "I once viewed everything through this filter of 'will this help me win the Olympics', but after Sochi I wrote a personal mission statement and that is to empower young girls, and women, and that became my guide in everything."

Virtue and Gilliss closed the night with the topic of addressing burnout and mental health. Having gained powerful tools from her time as a champion, Virtue said that the keys to recovery are universal and apply to all facets of life.

"We had to learn how to not just implement rest and recovery, but also to prioritize it in a meaningful way. We had to treat rest as important and with as much intensity as we did our training."

Virtue added that she encourages the pursuit of sport for such valuable lessons as these, and that it can build great confidence, especially in young women, when you set lofty goals and work towards achieving them.

—Discover Weyburn

#tessa #off ice #appearance #evening with tessa virtue #press #a good event if you knew nothing about vm

32 notes · View notes

alexbkrieger13 · 8 months ago

Note

Oh no NOT Peter pulling that joke 😅

https://www.aftonbladet.se/sportbladet/fotboll/a/gEXJ7B/sverige-oro-infor-em-kvalet-mot-england-vill-ha-med-sig-karta-till-wembley

"I'm just scared - I'll have to try checking a map"

LONDON. Close to 70,000 tickets have been sold for the European Championship qualifier away to England.

At Wembley, the Swedish team wants to take revenge - if they manage to find their way in the giant arena.

- There mustn't be too many catacombs so that you get lost and end up in the cleaning scrubber, jokes union captain Peter Gerhardsson.

Admittedly, there was a loss against Sweden in the World Cup bronze medal match in 2019. However, England undeniably have good memories of the European Championship semi-final two summers ago, which ended 4–0.

Right-back Lucy Bronze, one of the gold medalists from 2022, hopes they can build on the success.

- We have a nice rivalry with Sweden, says Bronze.

- It is a good, strong team. The fact that we are playing at Wembley is very exciting. Maybe the fans will take that moment with them from the EC.

"A different confidence now"

- Incredibly inspiring. We had a talk with the team and Rasmus (Liljeblad, sports psychologist) on Tuesday. Afterwards, you could feel the adrenaline rising to one's ears. They were ready to go out and play the match then and there, says Eriksson.

Johanna Rytting Kaneryd, who has many English club teammates at Chelsea, also wants to put the miserable semi-final in Sheffield behind her.

- You feel a sick desire for revenge, says Rytting Kaneryd.

"Into the cleaning scrub..."

Union captain Peter Gerhardsson is only afraid that Wembley Stadium is TOO big a facility.

- I'm probably not that star struck with stadiums, but I like when it's full, says Gerhardsson.

- I'm just afraid... there can't be too many catacombs so that you get lost and go into the cleaning scrub. I have to try to look at a map and try to read myself in!

The fact that Sweden begins the European Championship qualifiers against England in the national arena in front of nearly 70,000 spectators stands in stark contrast to many other premieres for the women's national team over the years.

Experienced Kosovar Asllani knows that, not least.

- So much more fun. You play and live for these matches. It is a top nation you meet. These are the opponents you want, says Asllani.

- You love playing in front of large audiences. I don't like playing in front of four people, it doesn't give the same kick.

In addition to England, France and Ireland are also included in Sweden's group.FACT

This is how the EC qualification works: They go to the EC

The first and second in the groups in the A division are ready for the football European Championship in Switzerland 2025.

The last seven EC places are decided via a playoff which is played as follows.

The threes and fours from the groups in the A division are drawn against group ten and the best group twos in the C division.

The eight winners of these playoff matches, plus the top six nations from the B division, a total of 14 teams, then directly play decisive playoff matches where the seven winners go to the European Championship.

#gotta love peter #swewnt #swewnt article

5 notes · View notes

thesunisatangerine · 1 year ago

Note

yeah i feel so bad for alexia because i’m sure el clásico was one of the games she was especially looking forward too, but it’s way way better to be safe than sorry. i just hope she’s doing alright mentally too! i know they have a sports psychologist just for the women’s team, so i’m assuming she talks to him if nothing else! i’m glad barca has that for them

also i’ve been the same anon for all of these, sorry if my asks are long and annoying😭 i just like talking football because none of my friends watch it lol

no, pls dont be sorry i dont find them annoying at all!!! 😖🙏

and yeah same and thats the thing that worries me, i just hope that alexia or jona wont risk her future career for one el clasico liga f match that barcelona will most likely win. if she ends up deciding to get in on the action, hopefully its just as a super sub and not her starting.

they probably have one working for them but mental health should not be considered as a one-size fits all kinda thing so i hope that if whats available for them isnt working for her, she should be advised to find someone that fits her. also, please correct me if im wrong cause i might be conflating this with another but didnt they let alexia play a match (uefa match i think?) while she was still injured? so yeah, their management take into account their players' wishes to play in a match whether or not the player's fit for play. hoping that that wont be the case for this one.

#alexia putellas #barcelona femeni #liga f #woso #anon #inbox

11 notes · View notes

astridlius · 8 months ago

Text

ASTRID LIU

full name: astrid grace liu

pronouns & gender: she/they, non-binary

birthday & birthplace: september 16, 1997 (27); oakland, ca

location: ocean crest apartments

time in aurora bay: 20 years

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: striker at angel city fc

@aurorabayaesthetic

about.

born the younger of two in oakland, california, astrid can't really remember a time in early childhood when she wasn't following her big brother around. she was maverick's little shadow for most of her childhood; anything he did, she wanted to do. when he started homeschooling, she threw a fit because her parents wouldn't homeschool her as well. the family moved to AB when she was six.

she was always loud and gregarious, great with people, and her childhood was happy but not totally without complications. from an early age, her parents could tell that she was having trouble in school, and she knew that she wasn't getting things but had no way to put a name to her struggles. she had a hard time staying attentive, even when she really tried, and her reading was getting along a lot slower than her classmates.

in middle school, her parents eventually took her to a psychologist and pushed for a diagnosis, which ended up being adhd and mild dyslexia. she had no idea what to do with that information and thought it just made her stupid. it was a blow at first, but by the time she got to freshman year of high school, it'd turned into a chip on her shoulder. if people thought she was dumb, let them, because there were other things she was going to be the best at.

medication, therapy, extra reading classes helped her work with the adhd and dyslexia, but the hobbies she picked up were much more helpful to her development. from a young age, she was throwing herself into anything physical — her parents put her in dance first, and she was okay at it but didn't love it, but then try tried sports, and something clicked. with every new season, she was in a new sport; she even did co-ed flag football until she was six and the rec league became boys only (which she still sort of resents)

soccer eventually pulled out, and by high school she was good, and she knew it. rec soccer had turned to club by middle school, and she was a varsity starter by the time she was a freshman. in junior year, her coaches started making videos to send to colleges who might want to recruit her, and things got serious. scouts started coming and she started having conversations with schools. meanwhile, her grades completely tanked. she had started to coast on the belief that she was going to get into a college on a full scholarship for soccer.

and great schools were interested enough to extend offers in her senior year — contingent on a certain level of academic performance, which astrid wasn't meeting toward the end of the school year. in full panic mode, she retook classes in the summer and did marginally better, but by the time the summer was over, the offers were gone.

astrid was inconsolable. she graduated alone after summer school, which really entailed her picking up her diploma on a random wednesday, and then pretty much locked herself in her room for most of the summer. somewhere in the middle of her heartbroken spiral, her parents told her they'd begged for a few favors from friends in the admissions department at AB college, and she could attend in the fall if she wanted.

she didn't make a decision until three days before classes started, and what really pushed her to it was that she was just tired of being sad. she lived at home and commuted, picked up communications as a major because everyone told her it was easy, and promptly got onto AB college's women's soccer team. it wasn't, but it was good enough.

she shaped up a little academically and actually did okay in college, even though her main focus was always soccer. she didn't expect anything to come of it, figured that there wouldn't be many eyes on her if she wasn't at a school like ucla or stanford, but a scout for angel city fc in LA who lived in the area just happened to be bored one day and figured he check out the local women's team. it also just happened to be the game when astrid got the first hat trick of her college career.

the scout contacted her after the game and told her he'd keep an eye on her progress. it was like a shot of adrenaline, and she worked harder, harder, harder. eventually, senior year, angel city fc put it in writing that they would take her in the fourth round of the 2020 NWSL draft. she signed officially ahead of the 2021 season. she decided to use the money to buy a car and rent an apartment in ocean crest to commute to work and stay in her hometown.

she redshirted for most of her first season but became a regular and a standout by the end of 2022. she was hitting a real stride during the 2023 season, becoming a star on a somewhat mediocre team and was even being eyed to join the USNWT, and then she tore her ACL in the middle of the season, which immediately doomed her to losing out on entirety of 2024.

she's been back at home since then, recovering from the surgery and doing her damnedest to get back ahead of schedule.

family.

mother: ingrid liu (nee eriksson)

father: kenneth liu

brother: maverick liu

tidbits.

astrid is very self-aware and knows herself well, but sometimes (maybe more than sometimes) her self-assuredness makes her cocky. she's confident and she knows what she's good at, but she's also sensitive to criticism and hates being told that she can't do something. nobody calls her chicken.

she's been coaching girls' soccer in AB since she got hurt. the kids are 7-11 and most of them are terrible at the game, but she loves doing it

her car, a green porsche 911 F, is still the most expensive thing she's ever purchased. the car's name is genevieve and is astrid's most prized possession

she's almost annoyingly dedicated to her workout and food regimens, but she'll literally always make an exception for nerds gummy clusters

actually kind of incredible at texting back promptly. unanswered texts give her anxiety

connections.

younger sister of @maverick-liu

kinda sorta maybe ex of @cricketcampbell

ex fwbs/current bro of @mackmontgomery

older sister vibes w/ @cassidyxcooke

former teammate of @sagexwilliams

little smiling devil emoji @lorelailewis

friend turned enemy of @aiden-stevens

#aurorabay.intro

2 notes · View notes

tallmantall · 8 months ago

Text

James Donaldson on Mental Health - 13 Ways to Boost Your Daughter's Self-Esteem

How to help girls build confidence based on what they can do, not what they look like Photo by Victoria Rain on Pexels.com Writer: Juliann Garey Clinical Experts: Mary Rooney, PhD , Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD - 1. Model body acceptance - 2. Make your daughter media literate - 3. Don’t raise her as a “pleaser” - 4. Start team sports early - 5. Moms, don’t borrow your daughter’s clothes - 6. Direct your praise away from appearance - 7. Help her build skills that are independent of appearance - 8. Speak up about your daughter’s school curriculum - 9. Praise your daughter for her efforts rather than her performance - 10. Be careful about what magazines you have in the house - 11. Don’t trash talk other women - 12. Dads: Don’t treat your daughter like a damsel in distress - 13. Make sure she knows you love her no matter what In a culture saturated with digitally altered images of impossibly thin women, raising girls with high self-esteem can be daunting indeed. But as parents, you have great influence—both by what you say and what you do. Here’s some advice from experts Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, a clinical psychologist, school consultant and creator of the “Full of Ourselves,” a social-emotional program for girls, Anea Bogue, MA, author (9 Ways We Are Screwing Up Our Girls and How We Can Stop),and the creator of REALgirl, an empowerment program for girls, and Mary Rooney, PhD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in adolescents. 1. Model body acceptance Moms have a huge impact on their daughters’ body image. Don’t ask, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” or obsess out loud about food or put your appearance down. Avoid what Dr. Steiner-Adair calls the “morality of orality”—talking about food and yourself as “good” or “bad.” As in: I was bad today: I had pizza. So I’m not going to have dessert. 2. Make your daughter media literate “Watch TV with her and talk about what you see,” says Dr. Steiner-Adair. “Help her develop a critical eye through which to decode and filter media messages.” 3. Don’t raise her as a “pleaser” Encourage her to stand up for what she needs and wants. “Create opportunities for her to use her voice,” Bogue advises. “Ask ‘What do you want?’ Let her make a choice and then honor that choice.” 4. Start team sports early Research shows girls who play on teams have higher self-esteem. “There’s a very common correlation, in my experience,” says Bogue, “between girls who play team sports and girls who suffer less with low self-esteem because they are looking to other girls for their value, and within, as opposed to looking to boys for validation.” 5. Moms, don’t borrow your daughter’s clothes “You want to let her have her own style, her own look,” says Dr. Steiner-Adair. “Especially, and this is a really hard thing, if you have a mom who by society’s standards is prettier or thinner than her daughter.” 6. Direct your praise away from appearance “I think that we need to make a very conscious effort to balance our compliments about a girl’s appearance with compliments about who she is and what she DOES in the world,” says Bogue. “Challenge yourself to match every compliment you give about your daughter’s appearance with at least two compliments about something non-appearance based, and do the same for other girls who cross your path — your daughter’s friends, nieces, etc.” 7. Help her build skills that are independent of appearance “Get her involved in activities that build a sense of confidence, rather than focusing on looking good and acquiring things,” Dr. Rooney suggests. “Sports, theater, music, art. Anything really that can help girls express themselves through words or creativity or activity rather than through their appearance or what they’re carrying around.” 8. Speak up about your daughter’s school curriculum Does it include a female perspective? “Imagine if you were putting together a family history,” Bogue says, “and you only asked the men about their memories, about their perspective. Think about all of the information that would be lost.” #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub 9. Praise your daughter for her efforts rather than her performance “Focus less on the outcome and more on efforts and the development of new skills,” says Dr. Rooney. Mastery is what builds confidence, and learning to tolerate failure fosters resilience. 10. Be careful about what magazines you have in the house “Research suggests,” says Steiner-Adair, “that after 15 minutes of looking at a fashion magazine, mood shifts from curiosity and enthusiasm to comparing yourself and putting yourself down.” 11. Don’t trash talk other women “And don’t let the boys and men in your household do it either,” adds Dr. Steiner-Adair. “Don’t let kids tease each other around food or looks. Do not let that go down in your house. It’s really harmful.” 12. Dads: Don’t treat your daughter like a damsel in distress “When fathers treat girls as though they are these fragile, helpless, little beings, ” Bogue says, “the message is, ‘Your role is to look good so a man will sweep in and save you.’ Instead, give her the opportunity and the tools—to change her own tire, to use her voice and speak up for herself, to play sports, to be able to brush herself off and get back up. I think it’s a good measure to say, ‘If I would do it with my son, I should be prepared to do it with my daughter.’” 13. Make sure she knows you love her no matter what She needs to know that you’ll love her “no matter how her appearance might change or how she dresses or how she might perform at something,” says Dr. Rooney. “Because even though kids are so reliant on their peers for feedback when they’re in their teens, what her parents think of her matters just as much as it ever did.” Photo by Victoria Rain on Pexels.com Read the full article

1 note · View note

harleiquina · 6 months ago

Text

I've seen this for a very long time and I smile everytime because yes, it is fun because it is real.

However... do you know why is it real?

*cracks her knuckles while dusting Ye Old Knowledge of Advertising in her brain*

Short version:

At least when I was in College 12 years ago, it was a fact (one studied and taught) that men and women* shop differently.

Men tend to be more self-indulgent and literally buy anything that will make them feel wanted/horny/powerful. They pretty much live in a fantasy-land created by Advertisers and their own macho-brain.

Women are more practical, we live on this very real earth and we are used (by society's pressure) to care about Home Economics more. If we buy something we expect to have a product that is in a good price and will do what promises to do. We don't care that much about the concept of a product but the reality behind it.

*I'm not alienating the Queer community, I honestly do not know how their impact is measured or taught at this moment in College (as I said my formation was 12 years ago, in Argentina, were the LGBTQ+ community at the time wasn't thought of regardless of its size -maybe because my teachers were 50+ at the time-. My guess is that these 2 concepts still apply and probably align more with the "female" mindset of "I better get my money's worth for it" but thats a blind guess on my end). For simplicity's sake I'll keep talking about men and women.

Disclaimer: by no means I am saying that women will never be self-indulgent. But it is a fact that we usually put other's needs before our own, especially a mom (who would be buying things for the entire household and not just for herself).

First things first: How are Ads made?

Think of it as an assembly line.

You have the Company that has created a product but they need people to buy it. So they go to an Ad Agency.

In there they'll met the Accounts Team. The Company shares the information needed on a Brief and Accounts does the Briefing (analizing the info and creates an audience for that product).

This new Brief will go to the Media Team that, based off the audience, will think of the better outlets to buy Ad spaces.

Once everything is planned out it is time for the Creativity Team to take over and create the Ads needed. (After the creation the Company returns and if they like the ideas presented then the Production Team takes over and shoots the commercials/takes pictures and prints, edit and all that jazz).

Of course this is an oversimplification, processes takes time and if it is anything similar to my experience in College, many nervous breakdowns.

Get to know your audience

The most important part of the process is to create an audience and to do so we usually have two sets of information.

Hard Info (to give it a name): age, gender, social status, degree/studies, geographical location, income (if applies).

Soft info (idem): ideology, what music/movies/tv/books they like, food and brands they already consume, sports they play/like... pretty much anything that helps to identify a type of person that will buy whatever product we are presented with.

There isn't just one audience, there can be 2, 3, 4... you name it. The easiest example to show you that is a toy commercial: of course it is aimed at kids but it is also aimed at their parents (mostly moms).

Send in the Psychologists!

One of the reasons why I decided to walk away from my career was that we are the Psychologists Gone Bad. You know how any kind of Counselor or Therapist is not allowed to meddle and is just supposed to guide you so you can find the answer yourself? Well... we will tell you that whatever issue you have will be solved with X.

"He DOESN'T look happy..." 🤦🏻‍♀️

In order to do so we not just analize the hypotetical audience but also use some tools like the Mirror Stage

TL;DR babies usually think themselves as a part of a whole (a part of their mom or the same unit as other kids/babies -reason why if one cries everyone else cries-) until they realize that they are a single individual after discovering themselves in a mirror. Thing is that a mirror shows us just a part of ourselves (you can't have a 360° image so you only see the front or the back or the side) and that is where Advertising jumps in and replaces the mirror.

Advertising is not about selling a product (that depends on the stores and the Company that makes it) we sell an idea... a concept... a lifestyle.

Other main tools that probably you know well are the Color Theory and Significant/Signifier and all of this is used to create the "perfect" Ad for the audience.

Quick thought before continuing: According to my Psychology teacher there is no Subliminal Advertising because an Ad needs to be perceived to work and in the moment the Ad is noticed it stops being Subliminal. What you can find are inside jokes or Easter Eggs among creatives, nothing else.

SEX!

Now that I have your attention, read my blog...

Everybody knows that "sex sells" and sadly it is true. However it doesn't necesarily means that all Ads should present an orgy to be noticed... sometimes a hint of an idea is all it takes. But of course it doesn't work for everyone (Ace speaking here).

There is a cleaning products brand called Mr. Muscle (Mr. Músculo in Argentina) that used to look like this back in the '90s

The concept was that there was no need for you to be physically strong because the product itself was strong enough to get rid of the grime.

And now he looks like this because is a lot easier on the eyes...

My Marketing teacher pointed at us that when the character runs towards the camera at the end of the Ad you have a few seconds (less than that, actually) when his crotch fills the screen and now I can't unsee it.

"I am not that dumb, you can't make me buy something with all those tricks"

Oh, my sweet summer child, you probably already have.

Even if these tools are the most common, Advertising relies A LOT on Emotional Manipulation and nobody can escape it.

Once you know what triggers an emotional response on your audience, you got them.

Maybe you grew up with parents/family that always had X coffee for breakfast, or Y cookies remind you of your time in school, or Z soap always left a nice feeling on your skin... we are connected to brands either by first-hand experiences or we inherited them from our family or friends. This is what brands look for, a captive audience that will always buy them (until they experience something else or the company changes the product and "is not the same" lowering sales).

So how do brands compete with each other to either steal customers or get new ones? Through ideals and concepts shown in Ads.

A concept is the first thing a Creative (like me) has to come up with because it will reing everything that we will do for that product. It can be either a single word or a short sentence (that might become the slogan). Creatives beware, it is not easy to find it but once you do you're unstoppable.

This Concept is the door to the Fantasy.

Bursting bubbles

Sorry... I had to... I love Labyrinth

As I said in the short version of this... essay?... men and women perceive and buy things in different ways.

Mom worked in Walmart for 27 years (I believe) and during her time as cashier she noticed this as well.

Men usually buy the exclusive wines, exported cheese, fancy lotions probably because they think "I work hard, I deserve it" while women always look at the price first and then buy it because "you can't allow yourself to spend this amount in something like this". Of course I'm speaking of working-class people, those who are not poor but are not rich either.

It has being said before that men are more visual than women (reason why p*rn is usually aimed at men regardless of who is it really meant for) and they have a delusion of grandiosity that comes of centuries of being on top of the world (I'm so done with this word, but yes... due to Patriarchy). So they already think that are quite a catch for all women so what Advertising does is pump-up that fantasy. If you buy A, smell like B, use C jeans and have D women will flock towards you.

One of the examples we were given was of a female lingerie ad. Usually a girl wearing whatever ensamble in a bed or in a sugestive position. Is clothing for women, will (most likely be) on a women's magazine but it is an ad for men. Because the husband/partner will buy it (or give her hints about it) because he thinks that his wife/partner will look just like the Ad, and even if she doesn't he will remember the model.

What about the counterpart? So a male underwear ad. It will show a six-pack guy in nothing but briefs and a dominant position. Yes, it is eye-candy for women and it is also a fantasy for men that are absolutely convinced that they will look just as good as the model (so it is not an ideal to achieve... they are convinced they are irresistible). The men will just buy it because that image is who they are: powerful, manly, sexy, you name it. But a woman... will see if it is of good quality, if it streches enough, how can it be washed, and so on... and maybe won't even buy it.

This is not a new phenomena nor necessarily attached to Misoginy. My aunt was reading Ernesto Sábato the other day and read me a fragment of an essay where he also speaks about the difference between the male and female mind. His angle was something like "there are not female philosophers because women will always care more about what they can see and touch, they don't waste time in assumptions".

Again, this doesn't mean that all women are like this, it is a generalization, but it has been seen coming over and over again for enough time to make it the rule of thumb.

Yes, of course, Ads do affect women as well because unlike men, women do see them as an aspiration "I have to be thinner/younger/blonder/etc" to be attractive... but is not the Ad that determines who is attractive or not, is the men. As I said before, men are more visual than women, they "buy" the images and look for them in their surroundings making women put on an effort to be preceived desirable by them.

Small parenthesis before you get the torches. I am Aroace, straight. My life does not depend on whether I can "get a man" or not, I was taught to be independent. So no, I do not care if I look "cute" for a guy but when you sit down and analize everything that we women have available (clothing, make-up, hairstyles) and why is it popular among us is most likely because it fullfills a man's fantasy. Eyeliner to make our eyes look bigger, lipstick and blush are born out of the physical signs of a woman's orgasm; high heels to make the but bigger; bras with any kind of wire or padding to make boobs bigger... just look at anything and you'll see it. Yes, some women enjoy those things but eventually the questions "are you doing this for you? Why do you like it? And why?" will appear and it will lead to a big journey of self discovery and yes, most likely will finish with the realization that we didn't have much of a choice. Everything that we can buy to use in ourselves will respond to someone's fantasy of how someone should look like. There is no escape. Sorry.

Not all men

Mmmm... debatable.

I mean, yes, there are men that are not as basic... although it is a basic instinct.

We (humans) are still animals, we evolved but some wild instincts still remain. Our education will limit our reaction to certain triggers but it doesn't mean that we won't feel anything deep down because of them.

Advertising just takes advantage of it.

Welcome to the jungle, baby.

#advertising #3 years of college are hard to compile into a Tumblr post #at least i tried #male minds #female minds #marketing #i guess?#men vs women

29K notes · View notes

fortlauderdaleunitedfc · 5 months ago

Text

The Science Behind Fort Lauderdale United FC's Training Methods

Fort Lauderdale United FC, a beacon in the international of Fort Lauderdale Professional Soccer, has gained recognition for its innovative and powerful schooling techniques. This blog explores the technology behind those techniques and the way they contribute to the achievement of both the guys' and Fortress Lauderdale women's expert soccer groups.

Emphasis on Physical Conditioning

Physical conditioning is at the heart of Fort Lauderdale United FC’s schooling regimen. The coaching personnel is aware that football gamers want to keep their physical health high to carry out their high quality. This is especially genuine for the Fort Lauderdale Women Professional Soccer team, who compete at the very best stages and require rigorous conditioning to keep up with the demands of the sport.

The crew's method consists of a mix of aerobic and anaerobic physical games designed to enhance patience, speed, and strength. These workouts are scientifically crafted to imitate the conditions of a real soccer game, ensuring that gamers are usually in shape. By focusing on factors inclusive of agility and stamina, Fort Lauderdale United guarantees that both its male and girl players can preserve excessive performance at some point in the game.

Advanced Tactical Training

Tactical schooling is another critical factor in Fort Lauderdale United FC’s success. The training personnel employs numerous drills and simulations to teach players about positioning, movement, and sports approaches. This tactical schooling is grounded within state-of-the-art studies on game theory and sports psychology, presenting gamers with a deeper understanding of the sport.

For example, the guys and Fort Lauderdale women professional soccer teams participate in state-of-affairs-based total training sessions. These eventualities replicate capacity game conditions, assisting players to make quick choices and improve their on-discipline cognizance. This technique no longer complements man or woman capabilities but also promotes better teamwork and communication.

Nutrition and Recovery

Proper nutrition and restoration are critical for athletes, and Fort Lauderdale United FC places a robust emphasis on these regions. The club employs nutritionists who create personalized meal plans for each participant, ensuring they get the right stability of nutrients to fuel their bodies. This awareness of nutrients allows to optimize overall performance and reduce the hazard of injuries.

Recovery is another important thing in the schooling program. The Fort Lauderdale Professional Soccer team uses modern recuperation strategies, consisting of cryotherapy, rubdown remedy, and hydrotherapy. These strategies help to lessen muscle pain and boost recuperation instances, permitting players to educate harder and greater frequently.

Data-Driven Performance Analysis

In the age of technology, records have turned out to be a critical part of sports activities and training. Fort Lauderdale United FC leverages superior analytics to monitor and enhance player overall performance. Using GPS tracking and video evaluation, coaches can analyze everything about a player's sport, from their motion styles to their choice-making strategies.

This facts-pushed approach lets the Citadel Lauderdale women's expert football crew discover regions for improvement and tailor their schooling as a consequence. It additionally enables injury prevention, as coaches can screen workload and discover early signs of overtraining or capability harm risks.

Psychological Training

Mental durability is crucial in professional sports, and Fort Lauderdale United FC invests heavily in mental education. The team employs sports psychologists who work with players to develop their intellectual resilience and recognition. Techniques inclusive of visualization, intention-setting, and mindfulness are used to enhance mental energy and put together gamers for the pressures of competition.

For each of the men’s and Fort Lauderdale Women's Professional Soccer teams, this mental area could make the distinction between winning and dropping. By educating their minds in addition to their bodies, players are better prepared to deal with the challenges of professional football.

The Takeaway

The training strategies of Fort Lauderdale United FC are a testimony to the membership’s dedication to excellence in Fortress Lauderdale professional football. By combining bodily conditioning, superior strategies, nutrients, recuperation, information evaluation, and psychological training, the club ensures that its players are continually on the top in their sport. This holistic approach no longer simply prepares gamers for the needs of the sport but also fosters a culture of continuous development and success. Whether it’s the guys' team or the Citadel Lauderdale women's expert soccer group, Fort Lauderdale United FC’s education techniques are paving the manner for destiny achievements in the game.

#fort lauderdate womens professional soccer #fort lauderdale united #fort lauderdale united fc #fort lauderdale professional soccer

0 notes

udo0stories · 9 months ago

Text

What is imposter syndrome? Imposter syndrome, sometimes referred to as impostorism or the imposter phenomenon, is the tendency to think that people will one day recognize your success as undeserved and realize you’re a fraud. The belief endures despite specific evidence, like Degrees or honors are proof that your achievements are merited. If you experience imposter syndrome, you probably try to justify your accomplishments and status. It is possible that you believe your high GPA is the result of pure happenstance or that you were only fortunate enough to be offered your current position. There are imposters outside of the workplace and educational system. It may also show up in your efforts to parent, in your romantic relationships, or even in your hobbies. Imposter syndrome is not a mental illness that can be diagnosed. Rather, in the 1970s, psychologists Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance discovered a cognitive distortion. Research has shown that men can also experience the imposter phenomenon, which was once believed to only affect women. Different estimates show that as many as 70 to 80 percent of us could experience imposter syndrome at some point in our lives. But you can control your feelings of inadequacy and fear. Gaining a deeper comprehension of impostorism and its origins is the first step in the entire process. You can then reevaluate how you perceive your own skill, internalize achievement, and evaluate how you stack up against people in your immediate vicinity. Effects of imposter syndrome Regardless of how common it is, impostorism can be lonely. People often do not discuss their impostor experiences since part of the distortion is the fear that others will discover you are undeserving or inadequate. Instead, you are more likely to suffer silently. Imposter syndrome can have a wide-ranging impact on your life. If you feel like an imposter in academics, you may assume that you must strain yourself to exhaustion in order to fit in. At work, fear of being perceived as a phony may cause you to decline advancements and stifle your professional development. Similarly, with your hobbies, fear of failure can keep you from trying new things, such as joining a sports team or experimenting with new crafts or artistic projects. In partnerships, you may feel undeserving of your partner's affection. Your self-doubt may cause you to constantly seek reassurance, putting more strain on the relationship. If you suffer from impostor syndrome as a parent, you may compare yourself negatively to other parents. Or you may have overly high expectations that you unknowingly impose on your children or even your spouse. Imposter syndrome may potentially be a systemic condition. For example, if you are a woman, a racial minority, or a member of another underrepresented group, feelings of self-doubt and perceived flaws can prevent you from speaking up or pursuing opportunities in education or at work. This can limit variety and slow the dissemination of new ideas and views. Imposter syndrome and anxiety or depression Imposter syndrome is frequently associated with despair and anxiety. Depression can make it difficult to see your accomplishments and talents, whereas anxiety can cause you to focus on how others view you. Failure to meet your own high expectations can simply exacerbate feelings of anxiety or despair. 5 types of imposter syndrome Although imposter syndrome is commonly connected with high expectations, not everyone who encounters it has the same viewpoint. Different people will hold themselves to various standards and definitions of "competence." Valerie Young, Ed.D.'s book "The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women" describes five types of imposter syndrome: Perfectionist Superhuman Natural genius Soloist Expert Not everyone will fall neatly into one group. You may identify with qualities from multiple subtypes. Understanding these kinds can help identify and address underlying thoughts and beliefs that lead to feelings of inadequacy.

Perfectionist: You set unrealistically high standards for yourself and sometimes other people as well. Anything short of perfection feels like failure. You tend to be overly critical of your performance and doubt the quality of your work. Superhuman: Unlike a perfectionist, who may feel satisfied if they can meet high standards in one specific area, you expect to master multiple roles. Your focus is on how many things you can handle, so you tend to take on excessive responsibilities and overextend yourself in the process. Natural Genius: As well as setting unrealistically high expectations, you also judge yourself on speed and how easily you complete tasks. Your thinking might be, “I'm naturally talented. So, I should be able to excel without effort or much coaching.” You can feel frustrated when dealing with tasks that involve patiently honing skills or learning through multiple failures. Soloist: You believe that asking for help from others is a sign of incompetence. You want to prove your worth by working independently, and you struggle to accept support from others. If you have to reach out for help or succeed by collaborating, you may feel that the overall achievement “doesn't count.” Expert: You are hyper-focused on knowledge. You feel like you must know everything there is to know before starting on a task or pursuing a new opportunity. You seek multiple degrees or excessive certifications to ensure you are the most knowledgeable on a specific subject. You fear situations where you may have to showcase your “limited” expertise. Causes Feelings of inadequacy or impostorism can stem from various causes, such as personality, upbringing, and workplace environment. Personality. According to research, those who are extremely neurotic—that is, easily irritated or anxious—are more likely to develop imposter syndrome. The same holds true for perfectionists. Low self-esteem is also associated with an increased likelihood of feeling like an imposter. Upbringing and parenting styles. A person's early interaction with their parents can influence the development of impostorism. For example, if your parents were overprotective or controlling, you could be at greater risk. Similarly, it occurs more frequently when a family places a high value on success or when parents are inconsistent in how they criticize or praise their children. Being distinct from your peers. Individuals who differ from their peers may have emotions of impostor syndrome. In the workplace or school, individuals may differ based on ethnicity, race, gender, age, or financial background.Hence, imposter syndrome seems to be more common in women and minority groups. Social media. According to numerous studies, social media can have an impact on your self-esteem and confidence. Looking at a "highlight reel" of your friends' adventures, victories, and achievements might lead to severe self-judgment. A 2023 poll of LinkedIn users discovered that utilizing the platform and reading through other people's posts prompted imposter sentiments. These thoughts can then trigger unpleasant emotions like worry and depression. Setting. Imposter syndrome is prevalent in academic settings, particularly in PhD programs. These surroundings may promote a competitive mindset. In the corporate sector, marginalized persons may feel unworthy if firm leadership is dominated by people who are not like them. A woman may experience imposter syndrome when surrounded by only male leaders. Symptoms of imposter syndrome Impostorism is more than just ordinary self-doubt. After all, you can have self-doubt without feeling like a fraud or imposter. While imposter syndrome isn't a diagnosable condition, there are a few symptoms you can keep an eye out for (although not everyone with imposter syndrome experiences all of these characteristics): Imposter Cycle. Some people get caught in what researchers call the “Imposter Cycle”. When faced with an assignment or

task, your anxiety and self-doubt lead you to either overprepare or procrastinate, the latter being followed by a frantic push to get the work done on time. Once the task is complete, you may briefly feel good about your achievement, but that relief doesn't last. Instead of accepting positive feedback from those around you, you explain away your success: If you overprepared, you might think, “I’m not actually good at this. I only succeeded because I had to put in an extreme amount of work.” If you procrastinated, you might believe, “I’m not actually good at this. I only succeeded through luck.” When the next task comes along, the cycle repeats. You’re once again filled with self-doubt and feel like you need to overwork or risk being exposed as incompetent. Perfectionism. You might have a desire to be the best among your peer group. You want to be employee of the month, top of the class, the fastest, the smartest, the most productive. When you make mistakes or fail to reach those unattainable standards, you feel deep shame or humiliation. In situations where you’re surrounded by other intelligent or skilled people, you feel discouraged and dismiss your own abilities. Overpreparation. You tend to want to be overprepared. Maybe you go above and beyond in studying for class, or perhaps you overwork yourself to be seen as a perfect parent or spouse. All of this eventually affects your mental health and puts you at risk of burnout. Fear of failure. The thought of failure terrifies you because it brings on feelings of shame. It builds on that internal narrative that says you’re an imposter, you don’t belong. Failure also seems to bring you one step closer to being exposed as a fraud. To avoid failure, you overwork and overprepare. Denial of your abilities. You tend to explain away your accomplishments, talents, and skills. You overlook or completely reject praise, compliments, and positive feedback from others. This isn’t the same as being a modest person. Instead, you attribute your success to random chance or some other external factors. Fear of success. You may fear that being successful will result in other people raising their expectations of you. For example, a promotion at work could result in more responsibilities. You might feel that as those expectations and demands rise, so do the chances of you being exposed as a fraud. You might also fear success because it could make you feel more distant from those around you. For example, maybe you worry about being rejected by your peers. Dealing with imposter syndrome tip 1: Reframe your view of competence Perhaps you relate to one or more of the five forms of imposter syndrome listed above, such as the expert or natural genius. Once you have identified your form of imposter syndrome, you can try a few strategies to change your perception of what it means to be competent and successful. If you’re a perfectionist: Consider that perfectionism can actually be a roadblock to success. It can make it harder for you to be present, hinder your creativity, and keep you from taking risks and pursuing opportunities. It can also affect your relationships with peers, especially if you expect them to live up to impossibly high standards. Practice being imperfect. Tell yourself that, “Good enough is often good enough.” In many cases, you can make improvements later. Submit work that’s likely to receive a B+ rather than an A+. Be a few minutes late for a meeting. Leave your desk just a little more disorganized than usual. If you judge yourself on how easily you master a task: Remember to be patient with yourself. Repetition and persistence are often the paths to improvement. It might help to reframe challenges as opportunities or experiments rather than hurdles that you need to clear with ease. Take up a task or hobby that you’re unfamiliar with. Try your hand at a new language or experiment with a new recipe. Allow yourself to get comfortable with being a novice and learning through repeated failures.

If you feel frustrated, remind yourself, “Everyone is a work in progress, and I will always have room to grow.” If you believe you need to know everything before starting a task: Keep in mind that the quest for knowledge is actually an unending pursuit. Recognize your limits and acknowledge that you don’t need to know everything to start a task. Sometimes it’s more important to simply identify who has the knowledge that you’re lacking and ask for their help. Practice relying on others for information. Start with a goal of asking one or two questions each day. Feeling uncertain about a professor’s instructions? Not sure how to handle a new task in the workplace? Ask a peer or mentor. This can help you confront the fear of being seen as “stupid.” If you hesitate to ask for assistance: Know that asking for help is also a sign of competence. It’s important for you to acknowledge your limits and know when to seek assistance. Embrace the idea of teamwork. Outside of school or work, consider taking up a hobby that requires collaboration. For example, you can join a local sports team or try out co-op video games with friends. If you believe you need to “do it all” yourself: Consider the benefits of narrowing your focus. Knowing when and how to delegate frees you up to put your time, effort, and resources toward a single goal. Challenge yourself to decline or delegate work. Practice saying “no” when someone wants you to take on new responsibilities, especially if you’re already stretched thin. You could also identify a few responsibilities that you currently have and ask someone else to take them on. For example, ask your significant other if they’re willing to make dinner or handle some other household chores. This can help you let go of the idea that you need to do everything. Tip 2: Own your success People with imposter syndrome often chalk their success entirely up to outside factors. But it’s important to acknowledge that a combination of internal and external factors often contribute to achievements. Try out the following exercise: Start by listing your achievements. The list can include anything from earning a certification or promotion to winning a contest or receiving an award. Next to each item on the list, write an external factor that played a role in your success. For example, you may believe you only got a job offer because someone recommended you. In a third column, give yourself some credit. What actions did you take that helped your success? If someone recommended you for a job, you likely did something to earn their confidence, and performed well in an interview. You also took the initiative and seized on the opportunity to apply for the position. The goal here is to acknowledge that, to some extent, luck, timing, and other factors always play a role—not just in your accomplishments, but in the accomplishments of everyone. Other tips for owning your success Work on taking praise. Often, you may wave off a win, be it out loud or in your mind. Yet when the next round of applause comes your way, hold for a beat and simply utter, “Thanks.” Or you could go one step further and let the person know their nod to your feat means a lot to you. This act might just cut through the habit of playing down your wins; it helps embed good feedback deep within. Make time for joy when goals are met. Form a ritual: reward yourself after task completion. A break at that coffee shop you love counts, as does an indulgent day at the spa—either works. The aim? To forge a link in your brain between triumphs and treats. And remember, even if things don't pan out yet, you tried hard; acknowledge that effort too. Hold on to tangible proof of what you've done well. Visual cues can prompt pride in achievements earned without needing a room full of trophies as proof. A simpler move could be keeping files with top test scores or letters singing praises about work well done by yours truly.

Tip 3: Reassess the gap between yourself and others Having an inflated view of others can make you feel like you’re out of your league. You might build others up while tearing yourself down. Open up. One of the simplest ways to challenge that perceived competency gap between you and those around you is to share your feelings with a mentor or trusted individual. Talking to others about your feelings can reduce the sense of isolation that comes with imposter syndrome. Sharing also gives other people the opportunity to share their perspectives on you. You might be surprised to find that others admire your talents. It’s also possible that they’ll relate to what you’re going through. Be careful who you share your feelings with. Talking to peers or people you’re competing with might only tempt you to draw more comparisons between yourself and them. In some cases, it might be best to talk with people who are outside of your direct professional circle. If you’re part of a marginalized or minority community, talking to people who are similar to you can prove useful. Look for the backstories. You might assume that the people around you have reached success with minimum effort or that they're naturally more talented or intelligent. Challenge those assumptions and get curious about other people's journeys. Ask questions, read books, and listen to interviews with people you admire. You’re likely to find that even the most successful people have struggled and run into setbacks. You might also notice the ways in which luck and other outside factors have played a role in their success. Cut back on social media. As previously mentioned, social media can tempt you to unfavorably compare your accomplishments with others and fuel feelings of inadequacy. Although social media can come with benefits, it's possible to overdo the time spent on these platforms. Use an app that tracks how much time you spend on social media daily, and then aim to gradually reduce that time. Disable notifications or, if possible, set aside specific times of the day when you put your phone on airplane mode. Dedicate more time to offline interactions and hobbies. Speak to a Licensed Therapist BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours. Take Assessment Tip 4: Stay mindful of your thoughts Mindfulness practices can help mitigate imposter feelings. Mindfulness involves a nonjudgemental awareness of present sensations, thoughts, and emotions. After a work meeting, for example, you fixate on all the little mistakes you made, whether you failed to speak up or simply said the “wrong” thing. You might feel frustrated by your performance, or get stuck in a loop of negative self-talk, such as, “I’m so stupid. I don’t belong here.” These emotions can also come with physical symptoms, such as muscle tension. Be an observer. Mindfulness involves a nonjudgmental approach, so don’t disparage yourself for having certain thoughts or feelings. Just observe them as they show up and pass through your mind. It might be helpful to picture a conveyor belt, and then imagine each thought as an item moving along the belt. This allows you to slow down and put space between you and those racing thoughts and fears of inadequacy. Recognize that you are not your thoughts, and thoughts are not the same as facts. Challenge your thoughts. Once you’ve noticed a negative thought pattern, you can begin to challenge it. When you think, “I’m not qualified for this position,” consider the evidence to the contrary. Perhaps you’re frequently complimented on your skills. Or you could switch to a more optimistic view, such as, “I made a mistake, but I can improve and grow.” You might also find it helpful to counter negative inner self-talk with meditation. Try out HelpGuide’s 10-minute mindfulness meditation Being kind to yourself.

Expect imposter feelings to resurface. Even after you become aware of your imposter feelings and work to overcome them, they’ll likely still crop up from time to time. The feelings can be particularly stubborn during major shifts in your life, such as starting a new job or transferring into a new degree program. Don’t feel discouraged. Keep in mind that you’re not alone. Other people around you may also be dealing with the same internal struggles. What matters most is that you’re aware of your distorted thoughts and take the time to look after your well-being.

0 notes