#the wire tapper

[dextervoid]

Dexter Void on The Wire

My relationship with music is to some extent volatile and tempestuous. With years of crate digging, record buying, cognitive cataloguing and obsessive research elapsed, I’ve unintentionally tried to forage a deeper understanding of what music itself means to me. Connecting the dots to unearth a definition or simply continue the quest to hear, touch and feel a song or artist. “Volatile” because it can be overwhelming, and “tempestuous” as it has on many occasions, impelled me to destroy the essence of my music fixation. This is either by haphazardly clearing out records once bought in various formats, or just deleting significant amounts of music files. Where I find myself inevitably swept-up by throwaway culture, I then return, only to find myself in a chasm of regret and doubt yet again. I eventually seek out and rediscover the music I deleted. It can be problematic. And now, should anyone ever ask me “what kind of music do you like?”, I think it’s easier to quip by uttering: “I hate music” and leave it at that, as I simply can’t explain it. It’s a temperamental bond. 

This brings me to The Wire, another place where my enthusiasm for the music magazine veers into insanity. I’ve been subscribed on-and-off over the years, and for some reason, my relationship with it has been equally tempered. I often question myself: “Why?” However, I’ve gone full circle and arrived at a certain dedication. It’s a publication I can rely on in the world of music. So herein lies my ode, or a love letter to one of the best. 

The Wire, issue 211, September 2001 featuring Björk

Looking back on becoming a teen, I remember being drawn to alternative music, labels and artists. Assisted by older siblings, this new outlook helped me wave goodbye to the shameless mainstream pop I had been following. When at college, I remember buying the occasional copy of Sleazenation and Jockey Slut, after inspiration leapt at me when browsing them. At the time I almost religiously bought NME every week, which marginally served as a good window into the world of alternative music. If I remember correctly, this was around the whole indie explosion circa 2000 onwards! There were other great titles knocking about too. The superb Careless Talk Costs Lives, Plan B, and Rock-A-Rolla, which without realising at the time actually went against the grain of mainstream music, especially when considering the more conformist and overall tame regular press like Mojo, Uncut, The Word, Clash, and god-forbid, Q. That’s not to say these didn’t have personalities and traits of their own. This were all good for a short while, but I craved something different. 

But how did I discover The Wire? Reminiscing about this, it was a photocopied cover article of Boredoms for the September 2002 issue that my sister sent me. This was due to my then fascination with Japanese culture and music. Pizzicato 5, Shonen Knife, eX-Girl, Melt Banana and the Sushi 3003 and Sushi 4004 J-pop compilations on the German Bungalow label were the order of the day. The Boredoms photocopied interview arrived randomly in the post. I think my sister foresaw opening my mind with something entirely different from the Japanese underground. The article felt wild and acutely alienating at that age. I had no idea what the music was like, the grown-up writing style of The Wire was perplexing to me and had me clasping at the dictionary. The striped-back abstract nature of the page layout was wholly different to what I was used to. This memory sticks in my mind but I didn’t start reading The Wire properly until a few years later, when I’d buy the odd copy or peruse elsewhere. A few years on, my brother then subscribed me as a gift for a couple of years which greatly increased my interest. 

The Wire, issue 223, September 2002, featuring Boredoms

Eventually, I subscribed myself. Yay! In recent years, I let The Wire team know about my growing fondness. They bizarrely published an email I sent on the Letters page in the May 2020 issue featuring Diamanda Galás on the cover. Under the heading “Excellence by design” they transmitted the email word for word which spoke of my obsession about the music they include and the artistic approach they apply. Everything from the unassuming covers to the typeface! I suggested a sort of celebration for issue 500 or when they reach 40 in 2022 (which they did by putting on a series of events), but I also encouraged the idea of an anthology to document their existence. I do wince at myself for this gush though! Prior to this, they published the 15 records I’d been listening to on the Charts page in the November 2008 issue – a cover feature dedicated to “Unofficial Channels.” Featuring albums by Metalux, Tipsy, Combustible Edison, Gang Gang Dance, and other oddities, the inclusion of the list made me ecstatic. It coincided with the release of my first zine called Kelpie, which collected naive and unskilled drawings for bands and artists. This was somehow significant to me and sealed my wide-eyed enthusiasm. 

Dexter Void's 15 albums from issue 297, November 2008

The Wire must realise they have a dedicated fanbase, which can sometimes verge on cult? Yet, there were times when a slight disillusion crept in. Especially when the viewpoint projected onto them is that of a pretentious one, willing to accept any old avant-garde rumblings and parps. Therefore, a few years here and there were lost because of this notion. When lockdown hit, I resubscribed my loyalty and gradually reached a place of dedication, with the aim of collecting every issue published – which may take the next 20 years! 

Alongside a monthly dose of meticulous reviews and extensive interviews, the regular sections such as the Invisible Jukebox, The Inner Sleeve, its Epiphanies page and Global Ear sincerely exhilarate the soul and mind, especially as some feature the input of artists themselves. Other informative segments like The Primer, or all the way back to Savage Pencil’s Trip Or Squeek satirical comic, serve as a reassuring area of solace, eagerly awaited each month.  

This leads me on to The Wire Tapper. It’s something of a curiosity, a menagerie of global sounds signalling deep into my tender membrane. The quest to collect each CD became another obsession but easier to complete. They act as a way of bringing some of the music you read about to life, and what I love about the CDs is the uninhibited idea of freedom by whoever is compiling. They vigorously take us further into the music. Always a surprise, always fascinating. In fact, to this day, a lot of the music on those discs has remained in my memory, weirdly taking on a relentless stature of importance, which sounds downright theatrical. The CDs I heard as a younger fella propelled me on to discover music by the likes of Badawi, Gas, Jin Hi Kim, Felix Kubin, Paavoharju, The Master Musicians of Hop-Frog, Sagan, Phog Masheen and an incalculable number of others! 

The Wire Tapper CDs cover sleeves (1 to 64)

They lay the groundwork and do the hard graft making it easier for me to investigate and discover many mind-boggling musical experiments. The revolving cast of regular writers, contributors and freelancers all seem to have a Wire-esque demeanour, so it all feels intimately familiar and cohesive. That’s not to say there hasn’t been any duds along the way, not everything is guaranteed to be enjoyed or even understood. It’s just an attempt to broaden a musical landscape and knowledge, and sometimes you come a cropper. Yet, these are the risks you should take. Something you once dismissed can easily return when you least expect it, inhabiting a small nook and cranny somewhere in the psyche. 

Their way of writing is something I can only aspire to. I sometimes hope they’d realise or have an understanding that this nincompoop intensely follows what they say. It sounds like it’s verging on cult, but is only all encompassing. On the occasion they do find criticism, mainly in reviews, it’s always intriguingly justified, and usually backed up with thought-out knowledge or subtle perception, not forgetting a wry sense of shrewdness too. It taps into the mentality of going deeper to understand music and sound, exploring it in ways others don’t. For instance, issue 481 featuring The Haxan Cloak on the cover featured a review in the Global column. Along with the lush description of the music, the writer pointed out how the record label sleevenotes were a little hot-headed and full of fantasy, when really, the crux of it demanded, “It’s brilliantly recorded and totally fascinating music; it needs context, not romantic mystification.” 

My naive email to The Wire, published in issue 435, May 2020

For me, The Wire is an important magazine that champions the unusual, the unconventional and uncompromising. But I don’t really know how others view it - maybe as a pompous or stringent entity, something of indifference, but I reckon those individuals lean into the traditional rock and pop camp, which leaves little legroom for the mind-bending depths The Wire scales. The Wire isn’t for everyone of course, which is fine. I wonder why it took me so long to go full circle and realise it’s one that speaks to me. I'm grateful for what they do. 

For some years now, when the topic of music drops into conversation, and I unwittingly express some sort of passion, I try to make it clear that I don’t know anything about music and would never claim to either. It’s an important factor of my personality. I’m not intelligent or skilled at anything in particular, but there’s a deep-down fire pit of neurosis aflame within me that continuously desires music. 

Many thanks to The Wire ~~ Dexter Void 🖤

Dexter Void’s favourite 15 tracks from “The Wire Tapper” CDs

Roedelius • Deep Blue 

Nassim Maalouf • Tarab (Rast) 

Jin Hi Kim • EK For JC 

Badawi • Evocation 

Sagan • Jabpunplusone 

The Master Musicians of Hop-Frog • Song of the South 

Phog Masheeen • Survey of Brutality 

Setsubun Bean Unit • Gujo Ondo 

Paavoharju • Pimeänkarkelo 

Matti Bye • Eikern, 1977 

Lealani • Floating 

Rizan Sa’id • Kinana 

Meridian Brothers • Puya del Empresario 

Kamilya Jubran & Werner Hasler • Yama 

Maxx Mann • Bloody And Blue (Instrumental)

[davepetea]

we are still sl33py but we have two go two work soon BCC

[pokedash55]

Racing against Death

1,786 words, Pre-movie, Oneshot,Turbo escaping the Roadblasters crash, Headcannons about his time homeless, Near Death, Glitching, Minor Canonical character death, TurboTwins (mentioned), Finish Line (the other racing game at Litwack's)

Click for the A03 link but the whole fic is under the cut :) (I usually don't post my fics to tumblr but it's where the Turbo fans are I think. Ya'll are Turbotastic)

-------------- \ō͡≡o˞̶ ---------------

All he could think in that moment was drive... Drive as fast as his racecar could as the pixels around him started to disperse into the black void. This wasn’t where he would end. Dying forgotten in the bowels of some second rate racing game would not be his lasting legacy. His code rushed with adrenaline, mind racing with only one goal: Survival. He gripped the wheel tight with desperation, pushing the engine as far as it could go and looked straight ahead to the exit to Game Central Station. The tires churned roughly on the grassy terrain as he neared the exit, the ground beneath him glitching and separating behind him. He was racing against death, but Turbo never loses. 

His code burned inside and he could feel his pixels glitch all over, the program still recovering from the collision with the more advanced data. It was a strange feeling having the game crash as it did. It was an unexpected, but rather pleasant outcome. With a glitch like that he expected  Roadblasters would be gone for good, but he did not anticipate just how quickly they would pull the plug. It was a fitting end to the worst game ever created. With Roadblasters out of the picture he could go back to being loved by all in the comfort of his machine. A determined grin crossed his face as the tires latched onto the metal of the copper wire, quickly gaining speed on the smooth surface as the last of the pixels dispersed. The car rushed through the cord, ignoring the railroad as he did when he first drove here, driving up and down the tunnel to gain bits of extra speed. 

He pushed out of the gateway, spinning and hitting the brakes as soon as he escaped the outlet, tightly maneuvering the wheel so as to not take damage or spin out into another game. The car spun a donut before he gained control and stopped in the middle of the empty power strip. He lifted the yellow visor from his helmet, breaths still quick and heavy. As he looked up at the game, the red text displaying “RoadBlasters” disappeared from the name screen and Turbo’s panicked breaths morphed into chuckles. He did it! He continued his airy laugh, shakingly getting out of his car, trailing his hands on the door before letting go to stand at its side, one hand reaching up to his face, fingers twitching with glee. His plan worked perfectly! Sure he couldn’t become part of the game, which was unfortunate (he will have to research how to implement outdated -er- retro sprites into a more technologically modern program later), but he was alive and Roadblah-sters was NOT!

Turbo grinned spitefully at the empty plug. Time to go back to his perfect life! He dusted his track suit off, though his arm still had small pixels of white and grey that were displaced from his sprite. That was surely nothing, It was fine he just needed to return to TurboTime and things would be back to the good old days. After a successful mission, he could use a cooldown race with his blue rivals. He didn’t usually enjoy their company, always bragging about the ridiculously small number of times they actually managed to beat him (it was always the players fault), but a celebration was in order after all. The three of them could hit up tappers after closing time and crash Felix’s nightly party’s to cap off the night. 

With glee, he hoped back into his ride. It needed repairs after such a crash but just like his sprite all would be repaired once he got back to TurboTime. He revved up the red and white car and slow rolled casually back to his game with a smirk, although his face started to drop as he got closer and closer to his port. 

“Wh… Where is MY GAME” He babbled in disbelief under his breath. He and Roadblasters were right across from each other but looking at the gateway Turbo saw nothing but pitch blackness. The same darkness he had just narrowly avoided. He laughed nervously, standing up on the seat, leaning his body over the windshield. He analyzed the doorway, anxiety slowly creeping into his mind. Why would they unplug his game too! No one had touched the console for a week there was no way anyone had played the game! Which snot nosed kid decided to come crawling back after that time of betrayal? With the children enamored with the disgusting new game, TurboTime was rendered unplayable far before his absence so why now was it ripped from him? He was stuck with the bitter surprise and his arms dropped sulkingley to his side looking at his empty port. That grief was short lived as the glitches on his body grew more sporadic and rushed through his system, a scowl forming on his face. 

Roadblasters took everything from him. He was his game’s hero, the greatest racer of all time! Everyone loved him and rightfully so! He refused for it to end this way. He deserved more than to be rendered some homeless forgotten wretch. A pitiful nobody who destroyed his own game. What praise and adoration would come from that? Thinking through his situation he realized what would happen if the other games found him here. They would either scorn and lecture him or (worse of all) take pity on him. Losing was bad enough, but having lesser beings pity you for it was worse. He couldn’t be found, that much was clear. He was not going to live a life of mockery, scorn and false sympathy. He deserved more. 

Turbo’s gaze lowered down to his car. It was the only thing that survived… but he couldn’t escape the scene of the incident with it. The car was damaged and without his game’s power source there was nothing to repair it. He usually enjoyed standing out, but at the moment his bright red cart would only slow him down. With a resolved expression he jumped out from the vehicle. Turbo won his very first professional race in this car. It was everything to him. He hated to lose the only thing he cared for but it had to go if he was going to regain the respect and admiration of the gamers. He marched behind it, placing his hands on the rear of the car and pushed it towards the abyss. Once the front wheels touched the darkness it was easy to push in the rest. The car exploded into a cloud of red and white pixels, leaving Turbo the soul survivor of the now defunct machine. 

He stood alone and the station was eerily quiet, with everyone still on the job in their respective games. The silence disturbed him and left him frustrated, scowl growing again on his skeletal face. Turbo had become accustomed to the loud cheering of fans. The loud sound of engines and stands cheering his name. It was all his and rightfully so. He craved those sounds and the desire caused his eyes to flicker. As his determination rose, his glitches creeped around his body, growing harsher and harsher. Just like his car he was damaged and without an energy source his code could be corrupted. He needed to wire himself into another game or he could die in this torturing silence. 

Turbo hated to admit it, but he needed to upgrade. He failed his conquest of Roadblasters because his code was incompatible. Accessing the code was one thing but he needed to know how to control it. If he could edit himself into a game, he could become whole again. But he’d need cover and a plan for that to happen without someone finding him and was getting nowhere standing outside an empty husk of a game. He gave Turbotime one last glance before heading off into hiding.

 He did not have to wait long, as Litwack soon added the game called Finish Line. He watched the game get plugged in, the crowds of characters awaiting the new friends who would join the arcade. When nobody exited the port, the sprites eventually dispersed and the racer made his move into the new racing game. He expected it to be harder to blend in, but Turbo learned quickly that the reason nobody had come through to Game Central Station was because there was nobody living inside the arcade cabinet. All the programmed assets were the vehicles and they were all inside the programming sans drivers, making it an easy hiding place.Turbo got to work quickly, finding the code room and playing around the most he could. He was able to delete the automated program of one of the cars just enough to allow a driver and worked on that code block for weeks. He despised being nothing more than an enemy NPC, just like those blue wannabes back home (whom he just realized they most likely are deleted. The least of his worries however), but the racers' identities here were never shown. He could not regain his rightful recognition in a game like this. Instead of a home it became more of a perfect toy for Turbo. He could code and recode all he wanted while the game automated the other cars and tracks. It was the perfect practice for when something much better came along.  

The glitches never went away and every time they ran through his system he shuttered. It stopped being painful but it still wasn’t sustainable. He tried for years to code into the game, but without a base code block he couldn’t map his digital DNA to anything. Finish Line simply didn’t allow for a character sprite as complex as his since it had no frame of reference; The game had no human renders and nothing resembling in game personalities. He couldn’t even comfortably race anymore, as it became obvious that without a proper connection one crash could lead him dead on the tracks (as the blue hedgehog so kindly reminds everyone every 5 minutes). Despite the limitations, Turbo stayed hidden in Finish Line. It was disgraceful resorting to this but it gave him ample time to test his abilities inside the code room. It was nothing but a waiting game now. He saw every bit and piece of the game’s inner workings. It was replaceable. All he had to do was wait….

1997

Finally…. He grinned as the newest game arrived just across from Finish Line. Racing Avatars with colourful and cheerful expressions lined the box. It was the perfect place to regain his glory. 

Sugar Rush… a game fit for a king.

[missamyrisa2]

https://www.tumblr.com/tapper-feet/763701785889210369/tippy-tap?source=share

I think since Miss Amy likes long nails tapping on metal and her feet are super sensitive, this would be great to share with you 😌

Ooooh my gooooooshhhh what isss thissss!! Whyyy does this existttt why do you exist why do you know such things why am I wired like thissssss what is anyyythinggg!!! Mmmmhhh~

I am sooo not ready to reconcile with how much this thought of having my feet trapped in something and there being tapppsss and teasing touches all around ~ where it's likeeee I'm not even being tickled directly but I'm being wreckedddd nonethelessss~<3

[lboogie1906]

Richard Bowie Spikes (October 2, 1878 - January 22, 1965) was a prolific inventor with eight patents to his name (1907-46). Interested in automobile mechanics, He sought to improve the operation of items as varied as barber chairs and trolley cars. He worked as a mechanic, a saloon keeper, and a barber, occupations that influenced his many inventions.

Born to Monroe and Medora Spikes, he came from a large family of at least six siblings. His younger brother, Benjamin Franklin Spikes, known as “Reb,” would go on to become a well-known jazz musician. The 1880 census lists his birthplace as Texas, though in later years Spikes would report the location as actually being in Indian Territory (later the state of Oklahoma).

He married Lula B. Charlton (1900). They had one son. The family moved often, living in Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona, before settling in California.

He patented a beer-tapper (Patent #850,070). Connected to a keg, the tap used tubing to ease the release of beer from the barrel, while improving freshness over time.

His next invention was a self-locking rack for billiard cues. He received the patent on October 11, 1910 (Patent #972,277). On December 14, 1920, he patented a “trolley pole arrester” (Patent #1,362,197). He would patent at least seven more items, including a break testing machine in 1921 (Patent #1,441,383); a pantograph for conveying electrical current to trolleys’ wires in 1923 (Patent #1,461,988); a combination milk bottle opener and cover in 1926 (Patent #1,590,557); a device to obtain average samples and temperatures of tank liquids, for automobiles and industry in 1931 (Patent #1,828,753); an improved gear shift transmission system in 1932 (Patent #1,889,814); a horizontally swinging barber’s chair in 1950 (Patent #2,517,936); and, an automatic brake safety system in 1962 (Patent #3,015,522).

He is credited with patenting an automobile signaling system (turn signal) in the early 1910s, though a patent record has yet to be located at this time. The system was installed on a Pierce-Arrow motorcar. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence

[wreck-it-hell]

Here they are, my Wreck it Ralph OCs! I'm sorry about the ugly group photo, I drew them all separately but decided to put them together to make posting them easier. I love them all and I hope you guys like em too!

(EDIT 9/30: Fucked around and made another, meet Cal E-)

Character specific tidbits under the cut because it's a lot lol

Queen Sweetie - From Sugar Rush, her royal highness certainly has a sweet heart! Always wanting what’s best for her people, Sweetie is a motherly monarch with a passion for racing (surprise). She’s more level headed than King Candy, but isn’t totally serious herself and she tends to miss certain details sometimes. She knows the rules like the back of her hand and doesn’t take kindly to cheating…though if you pull the right strings, she might let you off easy. She is a sweetie, after all!

Bolt - This live wire’s from Turbotime, and she was once known for being quite fast on the racetrack - not as fast as Turbo, but still. After Turbotime got unplugged, however, she tends to hide in Game Central Station, though she can be found in Tapper’s some nights. She was always a little brash even when her game was plugged in, but with the grief of losing her game AND her cousin, it may be a bit before she opens up fully…but once she does, she’s got a dry sense of humor and an oddly friendly personality only some see.

Warley Lockhallow - From Holi-DAZE, this warlock represents Halloween; fittingly so, he’s mischievous and has some tricks up his sleeve! With hexes and hoaxes by the dozen, Warley's always looking for something to do because he never sits still. He gets bored rather easily and is almost always up to mischief, however he never intends any harm. He's just looking for a fun time, wherever that may be!

Valerie Fondore - This cute cupid's also from Holi-DAZE, representing Valentine's Day. She's got a heart of gold and when she isn't flinging heart arrows during combat, she’s painting or writing poetry. Despite having a big heart and loving romance, she understands it isn't everyone's thing. Doesn't stop her from expressing her affections - she just changes them accordingly! She even finds herself falling for a certain bad guy down the line…

Loadetta - Hailing from the internet, Loadetta's job is making pages load (wow). It's simple enough: like a telephone operator at a switchboard, all she has to do is pair the links to the proper pages. She loves her job; problem is, she's also a major daydreamer and tends to get lost in her own head. Overall she's a sweet - if ditzy - netizen who is always willing to help in any way she can.

Jetta Splosion - The littlest firecracker from Holi-DAZE, Jetta represents the 4th of July. She isn’t necessarily patriotic, but she does love her fireworks - and she isn't afraid to use them when she’s fighting! Outside of her game though, she's a little shy around those she doesn't know. Once she warms up though, she's a peppy ball of energy whose loyalty knows no bounds.

Cal E. Crumble - Naturally, candy karts tend to break far easier than normal cars…which is where Cal. E comes in! As Sugar Rush’s mechanic, she’s got every tool - from mint wrenches to Twizzler jumper cords - to get any confectionary kart up and running. She’s got the personality to match too; one tough cookie, but she’s got a sweet center and a chatty demeanor.

[wrecking-sequels]

[Wreck-It Star]

"Nine feet tall, weighs 643 pounds, with freakishly huge hands and spiky hair, saved the whole arcade once.. That Ralph?" The president of Sugar Rush sat there, on one of the square trees, dangling her legs like the innocent angel she was supposed to be.

"Yes, that Ralph." Replied the blonde warrior as she rolled her eyes. "Nah, never heard of him." That definitely wasn't an innocent angel. Cammy just raised a brow, clearly not amused, and the candy girl apparently surrendered. "Uff.. Bigfoot's not here, I'm waiting for him myself. Say, whatcya need him for, anyway?" The muscular woman mimicked a few blows in the air, as if a player was controlling her. "I like to train after-hours and Ralph's a great sparring partner, no one can take a hit like he does!"

Vanellope couldn't deny it made sense. "Sooo basically you need a punching bag, I see. Listen, he's surely at Tapper's, I'd follow ya but they're baking pies." She pointed at the building behind them. "Bring him back in one piece, 'kay?" White gave a thumbs up, and in no time she was on the exit cart thanks to one of her epic jumps. It seemed she couldn't stand still for long. "Off to find my target! See you around."

About a minute since the train disappeared into the wire for Game Central Station, Ralph's head popped out the front door of Felix' apartment. "She gone?" Vanellope sneered and glicthed her way down to the grass, hands in her kangaroo pocket as usual. "Yeah yeah, coast is clear, Captain Scaredy Pants. But now you owe me one."

It wasn't until after taking a couple more looks towards the exit of the game, that Wreck-It came out of hiding and focused on his answer. "You wouldn't make fun of me if you had a round with her." True. "Really Ralph? A beast like you is scared of some Street Fighter chick?" Countered Von Schweetz, seriously amused by all this.

"Well DUH, you have no idea what her legs can do!" Man, just the memory had his neck hurt. "Your fault, you shouldn't have-" He didn't even let her finish. "Oh no! No no no! I agreed to block her moves ONCE, and she took the liberty to unleash combos on me ever since!" Poor guy. "Eh, maybe it's Cammy's way to say I like ya big boy." Winked the candy girl, only to see in response a gigantic hand waving dismissively.

"Almost forgot, on my way here I met the folks of Dance Dance Revolution kinda begging for us to join their saturday night party yet again." She then added with a lower enthusiasm. Her interest was lost weeks prior, upon beating all possible scores. "Oh and the hedgehog says he lost the ring you signed him, wants a new one.."

"It's hysterical, maybe I liked it better when everyone avoided me." Chuckled the goliath, even tho of course he didn't mean it, no one would miss days of loneliness and rejection. There, his tiny bff showed a genuine grin. "Quit whinin. You are on top of the world like a true hero, Ralphie. "

She wasn't wrong. A lot had changed for Ralph since that fateful day of near apocalypse, four years earlier. The guy was now quite a renowned personality. He could still remember the thrill down his spine when those same eyes that had passed over him for thirty decades finally gave him a curious glance. "Don't get me wrong, I like the attention, but there's this thing called 'me time', you know?" Celebrity life..

"Ay, enough chit-chat, my dear hobo. Let's go check out that new game they plugged in!" Van interrupted. "Sorry kid, I'm not moving." Oh he didn't just say such a thing in front of her. "What?? You wanna hide from blondie until the end of time?" His answer came quick. "I told you yesterday, some of the guys from bad-anon are coming over."

"Aww come on!! I wanna see what it's like!" Her best buddy simply shrugged before heading to the courtyard where he would set the table for the meeting. "Go for it." The little girl hesitated, but after a heavy snort, she followed good old Stinkbrain. "Is that Satan guy gonna come?" Of course that was her favorite of the bunch. "It's Satèn."

[streets-of-vale]

Streets of Vale - Info Dump Body Morph Kit(s)

“The Body Morph Kit give the client the ability to reshape their body to be more in tune with their mood and changing desires” - SDC “Skin Deep Beauty” Products

Body Morph Kits are comprised of various individual procedures that can allow the patient to adjust various body traits. While these kits can be used to disguise one’s identity, they do not allow mimicry of other individuals, nor can they mask traditional identification systems such as retinal, fingerprint, or DNA scanners. Changes are cosmetic only.

The installation of such kits is extremely invasive, requiring weeks of recovery. All installations are permanent. Removal of required systems and modules will cause extensive tissue damage.

BEFORE ACTIVATION & AFTER ACTIVATION

(Images generated by perchance ai text-to-image)

Eye Kit The natural lens of your eyes are replaced by a special set of intraocular lens. These lenses are specially treated that with the proper application of a specific pattern of electrical surges will change the tint of your eyes. The controller for the system is wired into the brain, and uses the central nervous system to deliver the pattern of charges that induce the color change.

Voice Modulation - A special electronic amplifier is affixed to the patient's vocal cords. In the case of male patients, the Adam’s apple is removed. Using a similar system as the Eye kit a controller is wired into the brain, and using the body’s central nervous system to transmit a pattern of electrical charges, the patient can modify their voice with in the normal ranges of the human voice. 

Breast  / Buttocks / Facial / Hip / Thigh Augmentation Kits - Using an inert gel, a set of micro pumps upon activation can cause specifically designed sacks embedded in the appropriate location’s tissue and muscle to inflate or deflate. There by increasing or decreasing the size appearance of the patient’s breasts. - Storage tanks for the system are secured inside the pelvic region, fastened to the lower spine. While a specialized cloned synthetic elastic skin graft is used to provide more room for expansion in the patient's chosen locations.

Breasts = Allows for the increase of up to 1 cup size in female patients. In male patients, cup size ranges from A to B.  Buttocks = Moderate increase of 2.5 to 5 cm, with gentle rounding and shaping. Facial = Only provides for a softening or sharpening of facial features. Hips = Moderate increase of 2.5 to 5 cm, with a gentle rounding and shaping. Thighs = Moderate increase in diameter of 2.5 to 5 cm, with the appropriate tapper.

Synthetic Nails - The patient's nails and cuticles are permanently removed, and replaced with a synthetic acrylic system that is treated with a special polymer non-chip resin that when the proper pattern of electrical charges will change color and “grow out” up to 2 cm. The nails are retractable. The main controller unit is wired to the brain. This system has NO combat applications.

Hair Kit - Patient’s scalp is removed and replaced with a cloned synthetic one, that has been embedded with mono-filament hairs, set to the patient’s original hair color. The filaments are impregnated with a polymer that with a specific electrical charge pattern will cause a color change. The range of color pallet is with in the normal spectrum of light. As with other color change systems, the controller is wired to the brain. - This “hair” does not grow, so the patient must specify the length prior to installation.

Multi-System Control - In those patients that request multiple morph systems, the individual controllers can be swapped out for a multiple system unit.

(These Posts are to expand on Concepts/Ideas that will show up in the SoV stories. They are far from complete, and feedback is welcome.)

[solo-piper]

🧠 Use this for whichever OC you wanna talk about!

OH BOY. OKAY!! 🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

alright well. because i am Insane about my little guys i'm going to talk about every single one (that is currently rotating around in my brain) <3

1. Scraps (he/they/it/blue) — I love how he's just a big wuss. Scraps is the little guy in my pfp, he's a plushie that has the mental age of a very young child. His biggest concerns are being eaten by monsters and playing in his office with his paper buddies(2 crumpled up pieces of paper with pink and blue blob on their heads. The blobs represent bows. They're called Mrs and Mr Paper respectively) and Mr. Rocky (a rock with a straight face drawn on it, he wears a party hat). 2. Binbon (it/they) — My favorite thing about Binbon is that it was a team effort!! My friends picked its name, pronouns, and color palette. Binbon's a chef in the office, their height and color changes with its emotions but when neutral it's 7'0 and purple. Gentle giant <3 3. Ted (he/any pronouns) — This one's tough. I love everything about this guy. He's a robot technician. he's autism (as all robots are). his visibly robotic hand can turn into any tool, but because of faults in his wiring it hurts to do or just doesn't work at all. Also his hair is very long <3 But I guess if I had to choose something, it would be his character development. Ted, as it stands right now, has no personality of his own, but he's gonna go through an arc where he becomes his own person. 4. Pinky (it/its) — My favorite thing about it? It's itty bitty. and it has a little pink bow on its head. little thang <3 Pinky is a special #H1VE-b (I have a ref of them on my art blog @pipster-doodles), it tumbled out of the mind control facility through the vents and ended up meeting an employee face to face! Thanks to it, the other small #H1VE-b's started sneaking out of the mind facility to watch all the employees. The H1VEs were supposed to be mindless machines that just did work fixing up the MCF and some parts of the office but then they were introduced to the concepts of love and hate and joy and sorrow and Emotions by watching everyone in the office and now they're like big cats. 5. Tapper (he/him) — Tbh I like his ambitions. He's the hall monitor in the office but he really just wants to quit and become a tap dancer. He's a tall guy with traffic lights for a head. He takes hall-monitoring very seriously tho and will chase after you if you run in the halls. Also he has a whistle <3 6. Chip & Quip — Packaged deal. love that together they're Idiots (capital i). I cant even describe what they look like for the life of me so have this picture:

idiots. once Quip had a potion fall on his head that turned him into Scraps and Chip decided to remedy this by throwing potions at him until he turned back to normal. The alchemist kicked them out immediately.

[a1inspectionsg]

Bto Defect Inspection

BTO Defect Inspection: 5 Key Spots to Ensure a Flawless New Home

Receiving the keys to your new Build-To-Order (BTO) flat is an exciting milestone. However, before you begin renovations or move in, conducting a professional BTO defect inspection is crucial. 

Identifying issues early ensures the developer can address them while your flat is still under warranty. 

This guide will explore five key areas that professional inspectors focus on during a BTO defect inspection, ensuring your new home is in top condition.

1. Walls and Ceilings

One of the primary areas that professional inspectors examine is the condition of the walls and ceilings. They meticulously check for cracks, uneven surfaces, or any signs of water damage, which could indicate underlying structural problems or poor workmanship. 

Corners and joints are particularly scrutinized, as these are common areas where defects may appear. 

Professional inspectors use specialized tools and techniques to identify even the most minor imperfections, ensuring they are marked and reported for rectification.

Professional Focus:

• Detecting and documenting cracks and uneven surfaces.

• Examining corners and joints for gaps or imperfections.

• Identifying any signs of water stains or dampness.

2. Flooring

Flooring is another critical area that professional inspectors assess. They check that all tiles are evenly laid and that the grout lines are free of gaps or inconsistencies. 

Inspectors can detect hollow tiles using tools like tile tappers, which may indicate poor adhesion and potential future problems. 

They ensure that vinyl or laminate flooring has no bubbles, gaps, or lifting edges that could lead to issues later on.

Professional Focus:

• Testing tiles for hollowness using specialized equipment.

• Inspecting grout lines for uniformity and proper installation.

• Checking vinyl or laminate flooring for bubbles, gaps, or uneven surfaces.

3. Doors and Windows

Professional inspectors pay close attention to doors and windows, which are crucial for security and insulation. 

Windows are tested for proper operation, and inspectors thoroughly examine the rubber seals to ensure no gaps or signs of wear could cause air leaks or water ingress.

Professional Focus:

• Verifying smooth operation and secure locks on all doors.

• Inspecting window seals for integrity and proper insulation.

• Ensuring windows function correctly without any sticking or misalignment.

4. Plumbing

Plumbing inspections are essential, as defects in this area can lead to significant problems. Professional inspectors check all taps, showerheads, and toilets to ensure they function correctly. 

BTO defect inspectors run water through sinks and showers to identify leaks or drainage issues and carefully inspect the plumbing systems under sinks for signs of leakage. 

Professional Focus:

• Testing all plumbing fixtures for proper function and water pressure.

• Identifying any leaks or potential issues in pipes and connections.

• Ensuring efficient drainage in sinks and showers.

5. Electrical Systems

Electrical systems are thoroughly inspected to ensure safety and functionality. Professional inspectors use socket testers to check all power outlets for correct wiring and functionality. 

If your flat is equipped with data points for internet and phone connections, inspectors verify that these are operational, ensuring all your electrical systems meet safety and performance standards.

Professional Focus:

• Advanced tools are used to test power outlets and ensure proper wiring.

• Verifying the operation of light switches and fixtures.

• Checking the functionality of data points for internet and communication.

Conclusion

A professional BTO inspection is essential to ensure that your new BTO flat is safe, functional, and ready for occupancy. 

By focusing on these five key areas—walls and ceilings, flooring, doors and windows, plumbing, and electrical systems—professional inspectors help you identify any issues that need to be addressed before you move in Defects Inspector. 

[the-doctor-and-the-asshole]

Some picrew stuff I made last night. Artists should have tags in the pictures, and I'll tag them separately as well

@hunbloom, Nuggets, @Zr60v (where these artists are from? I don't know, but not here)

Descriptions are top to bottom

[Image ID: Transmasc guy with pale skin, freckles, and a skinny frame. Red hair, the layer closest to the scalp being bleached, wearing a grey binder with two trans flag pins on it under a light brown zip-up hoddie showing the shoulders. He has star earrings and wired earbuds. He has a bandaid with a star drawn on it on his nose. He also has a scae running vericaly from the left edge of his face underneath his nose to beneath his mouth. He has a black metal nosering. He is pointing at himself as he is talking about himself. He is grinning in a way that seems doubtful. His eyes are enlarged, suggesting he is stressed, his eyebrows furrowed./end ID]

[ Image ID: Nonbinary person with short green and black hair, pointed ears with black earrings. They have green eyes, with heavy under eye bags and a bandaid over the top of their nose. They are wearing a spiked choker necklace and a purple turtleneck sweater with a heart cut-out over the chest. Over the sweater, they are wearing a sheer purple shirt with silver stars. They have a bandaid on the side of their jaw wrapping over the edge vertically. they have an asexual pin on their shirt as well as a genderfluid pin. Behind them is a background of the omnisexual flag. They have their mouth open in a jeering manner, and their eyes are wide and curious./end ID]

[Image ID:A girl with light skin and light brown hair with an orange peekaboo layer. Wearing a black top that tappers to a collar and a grey zip-up hoddie. she is wearing orange colored contacts and fake horns that point straight up. she has a bandaid on her nose and a bandage wrapping around the left side of her jaw vertically. She is wearing bat wings and a tail that is very thin and has a spade on the end. she had black stud earrings in the shape of a star and a black hair clip. she has her mouth open in a manner that would suggest yelling, and her eyebrows are pointed inward in a frustrated sense./end ID]

[tk-tastic]

I'm jumping in because you're literally the first person in 12 years to have this same theory as me (I have a cringey 2014 flipnote to prove it lmao) were literally doing this right now

I've got more evidence. And disclaimer, I know this is just a theory, I'm not to be taken seriously. I'm also not defending Turbo, he's clearly not the misunderstood villain but anyway, Here's everything I've been holding in since 2014 with no one to infodump to-

Cybugs take on the appearance of the things they consume, not vice versa, and while it could be argued King Candy was the only example we see in the movie of a "sentient" character being decoured, I'd offer Calhoun and her first partner as another example. Now *technically,* this story is written into her code, so its likely not meant to be an accurate representation of what happens when someone is eaten by a cybug, but humor me, if her partner ended up in the same place as King Candy, why didn't he take over the cybugs body? Why did Calhoun immediately open fire if there was any chance he could gain control?

As for King Candy's final form, I like the parallels of Turbo and the cybugs being a virus, and I offer a counter theory. The cybugs know they're a virus and are actively trying to take over the arcade. It's in their code to do so. I can't, however, see much motivation for Turbo to do the same. What's his ultimate goal? To get every game unplugged? I really agree with OP here that this was the cybug talking, not Turbo, especially since it's the same bug that Ralph brought there in the first place. He's had a good hiding place in Sugar Rush and I can't imagine he'd be so eager to destroy the entire arcade.

Counterpoint to my own point, though, if running into Roadblasters was an angry, impulsive reaction, I can see him taking advantage of unexpected power to impulsively try to seize more.

I also agree that Felix could be an unreliable narrator. Not that he's particularly wrong or being deceitful, but the story has been repeated for so long and there was only one perspective, from the outside. It's implied the other racers in the games didn't escape before the games were unplugged, so they had no input on how the story was told. Again, not saying Turbo is misunderstood, but maybe there's more to it than him being a big jealous asshole (probably not, because he *is* a big jealous asshole and we love that for him)

Okay, I've got more theories. I'm sorry-

I used to obsess over how the code worked and what it meant to manipulate it. It's established that Vanellope crossing the finish line would reset the game, and that has spawned a few ideas on its own.

I'd imagine every time she raced she undid the elaborate code work he'd worked on, since it replaced her wires and literally reset the entire kingdom at the end of the movie I'd assume it fixes any tweaks or changes in the original coding. In order to stay hidden and stay King Candy, he had to keep her from racing. There was more to it than just dethroning a nine year old, lmao

Also, also- if you die outside your game you don't respawn, but if Turbo plugged wires from the game into his code, does that mean he *can* respawn? Or has he been living in Sugar Rush one wipeout away from death this entire time? And *if he can respawn,* the cybug/King Candy hybrid died *before* She crossed the line to fix everything, *therefore* its not unreasonable to think that he had time to respawn before the code was reset and his code was no longer a part of Sugar Rush. Ergo Turbo is still alive. I rest my case.

The konami sequence Turbo used to get into the code was written on a Tapper napkin. Who got him that info? Who was he meeting with?? Who taught him what he knows??? How much time did he have with Sugar Rush to practice the manipulation? I have questions that no one can answer.

There's more but I'm shutting up now

Ok so @king-crawler technically I finished your 2 hour Turbo documentary yesterday at 3 AM BUT regardless I have recentlt watched it and I have a LOT I'd like to say, clarify details or lil things you might have missed or could be interpreted differently when you look at them another way :3

With that last bit I am diving head first into the flashback scene since it's heavily referencing that.

First and foremost, keep in mind that it is being narrated from Felix's point of view- remember that he was in his game doing his job when the accident happened, it was while every person ever was inside their respective game being busy being used as avatars; also referencing back what you said on Felix- he's not exactly the most understanding of others' situations, he stays well within his comfort zone. Keep that in mind.

When Roadblasters is plugged in the flashback, you can see the two players using TurboTime immediately abandon the game to check out the new one, and the screen Turbo's pixelated image apoears on is completely dark, don't you think that is very reminiscent of a Game Over screen? 🙃 meaning, the two players abandoned Turbo in the middle of a race, likely causing him to crash and lose.

Remember King Candy's shock, and sudden change in behaviour as soon as he sees Vanellope sprinting past him? What follows is a volatile fit of rage and violence when things don't go his way, this sudden change of trajectory. Wouldn't you reckon this moment could mirror how Turbo felt in the flashback? He's being used as an avatar, and suddenly he loses control as he gets ditched and gets his race put to a halt. That initial shock of "what is going on. This wasn't supposed to happen!"

Following that, while I don't doubt he got jealous, he SPRINTED into Roadblasters the moment he lost... but not to try to take it over- to take petty revenge instead, interrupting the players' race and causing them to crash just like they did to him, preventing him from winning in his game. Picture it as a "if I can't have this, then you won't have it either" type mentality towards Roadblasters.

Going back to Felix and why his ignorance/remaining within his bubble could have possibility caused him to misread Turbo's intentions. Felix also is one to make assumptions in the beginning of the movie, like how for example when trying to calm the Nicelanders when Ralph goes missing: "Ralph probably fell asleep in Tapper's bathroom again!" Or some such. It makes sense he would make assumptions about Turbo as well, ESPECIALLY if he knew him personally and how self-obsessed he is. Doesn't take a genius to realize this guy does not like to lose.

Secondly, the final boss scene. King Candybug in general really. I disagree with your idea that Turbo has always been this hungry for power he'd want to take over the entire arcade. We both know that if that happened, if every game was infested by Cy-bugs, Litwak would be forced to close down his business because all of the games would be unplayable. His 'attention' wouldn't last very long if every game gets unplugged, his thought process to take over the arcade is purely manic and deranged for someone like him who has been well-known to be a master manipulator, able to keep a stable facade for over a decade without wanting to take over other racing games? That 'taking over the arcade' sounds very unlike him. It sounds more like... a cy-bug's programming. A cy-bug's programming that has gained enough conciousness to start plotting and planning. Because it now has the intelligence of a person, fused with him, learned what he knows.

Speaking of which, remember the cybug that ate King Candy?

Look at it's candy-pattern. Haven't we seen that somewhere before...?

Oh right! Right here, when the cybug eats some pepperming roots.

The same cybug that ended up there after falling into the taffy lake... after being ejected from a shuttle.

The same cybug that Ralph brought with himself.

What was the very first thing that King Candybug said to ralph when they see eachother again for the showdown?

"Because of you, Ralph, I'm now the most powerful virus in the arcade!"

I don't think, during this one moment at least, that this was Turbo speaking.

[writingbyrobertbarry]

In the new issue of The Wire, you can read my reviews of The Riot Ensemble in concert at King’s Place and a new book about walking as a sonic practice.

[gettothestabbing]

According to Uniform Crime Reporting data from the FBI, between 2010 and 2014, there were approximately 43,002 murders in the United States in which firearms were the weapon of choice. 70% (30,114) of the firearms used were handguns, while 3.6% (1,530) were rifles.

Even if one takes the 21.5% (9,228) of gun deaths that were committed using unclassified firearms, assumes that half of them were rifles (a very generous assumption given the statistics), and adds that to the 3.6% of gun deaths in which rifles were identified as the weapon used, that still amounts to just over a quarter (25.1%) of total firearm murders in the United States.

For context, 5.3 times as many people (8,109) are murdered in the United States with "knives or cutting instruments" than with rifles, and 2.3 times as many people (3,574) are murdered in the United States with "hands, fists, [and] feet" than with rifles, according to FBI data.

[twistnet]

command [ horacio carrillo ]

⋯ SUMMARY ; new things are discovered late one night when the colonel comes to visit you in your office

⋯ PROMPT ; smut fifty — “i never thought you’d be into this”

⋯ WARNINGS ; female!reader, smut [ making out, authority // sir kink, oral sex [ f ], unprotected p in v, slight aftercare ] + mature language 

⋯ NOTE ; this content is strictly for those 18+ ; any minors // ageless // blank blogs interacting with this post // masterlist will be blocked

“and here i thought i was the only one who worked this late...” you comment from the doorway leading into the colonel’s office. horacio looks up from his mountain of paperwork, seemingly displeased by your presence until he notices the folder in-between your fingers, “you have something for me?”

you nod, stepping further into the room until your almost flush against his desk, “wire-tappers think that got something of interest a few hours ago, only got found it in my box minutes ago. was going to leave it on your desk for you to look at when you come in the next morning but you’re here and. - “

“you’re rambling, agent.” he muses, cutting off your run-on sentence as your face heats in embarrassment. you apologize, gaze dropping to the floor as you drop the folder atop his already growing stack, “i’ll... see you tomorrow, colonel.” you state, moving to get out of his office as quickly as you can to avoid further embarrassment.

you had harbored the smallest of crushes on the colonel since your first meeting -- where he had dismissed you as another american agent would couldn’t speak a lick of spanish, until you answered back to him in the same language, utterly shocking him and your colleagues before adding on, “oh, sorry... stupid american, right?”

the sentence quickly earning you points in javi and steve’s books as they quickly ushered you in their group with a bout of shared laughter over the incident. ever since, the colonel had been nicer to you. well, not as nice as he could, but he did treat you better than your partners.

you had packed dup your things after that, heading home for the night to sleep over your embarrassment and prepare for the night morning of paperwork and the possibility of a raid -- should the intelligence prove useful.

“something going on between you and carrillo?” javi questions from your side, causing you to look up from your spot with a confused look, “no... why do you ask?” sparing a glance towards the colonel, who’s gaze quickly tears away from you the minute your eyes make contact, “that! he’s been acting so weird today... and it only happens when you are around.”

“i stayed late, gave him that file intelligence didn’t finish scrubbing until midnight and went home after. so, i’m not sure what his deal is.” the two of you spared a glance back toward the leader of search bloc before simply shrugging it off and returning back to your work. and after another day of gathering information, you returned back to the office to do write-ups and get things settled for the day.

“you gonna stay late again?” javi questions from his desk, already glancing at the clock with a hesitant smile, “why? got somewhere to be?” you tease, knowing he had been ducking out the past few nights after steve had talked about getting home to be with connie. 

javi only shrugged, “it’s not that big of a deal...” you scoff, throwing your pen down on your desk as you cross your arms over your chest, “it obviously is, if you keep wanting to leave before finishing your paperwork.” you state with a pointed look, as javi only chuckles deeply, “i always finish, carino. you should know that by now.”

you grimace at his words, throwing a crumpled piece of a paper in his direction, “stop being gross and just go see... whoever you have waiting on you.” you practically shoo him off and he thanks you with a wink before ducking out of the office. you continue to work, now in a blissful silence and work through most of the report before a knock sounds from the door, “another late night, carino?”

carrillo stands in the doorway of your office, and it takes your brain a moment to process his words, before you shake your head, “yeah... both steve and javi had matters to attend to, so if you’re looking for them, they’re long gone.”

“i wasn’t stopping by for them...” he states, walking further into the small office, noticing just how they managed to cram three desks into the small room. he takes a seat at the edge of your desk, looking over you with a strong gaze... almost as if he was studying you for a moment.

after a short moment, he speaks up finally, “do i make you nervous, agent?” he asks, sincerity flooding his tone as you gape up at him with a confused expression, “no, why would you think that?” you ask in return, prompting him to raise a brow down at you, effectively making you feel small under his gaze, “yesterday... you rambled. and i’ve never seen you do that before, least not with me. so i have to wonder if i did something to make you uncomfortable.”

you groan, face burying into your hands as you feel the embarrassment start to kick in once more, “no... you didn’t. i’m just... being an idiot, you know?” and based on the way he looks at you, he doesn’t understand what you mean and opens his mouth to question you again when you wave him off, “never mind... you didn’t do anything to make me uncomfortable; quite the opposite actually, but no. you’re all good.”

“quite the opposite?” now, he’s amused by the way you seemingly backpedal slightly and look up at him once more with a worried expression, “i meant...” you start to say until he silences you with a wave of his hand, “you need to be honest with me, carino. we work in the field together, we need to have each other's backs. do you understand?”

“yes...” you answer, gazing back towards his when his fingers quickly snatch you by your chin, “yes, what?” he growls in a commanding tone, eyes drilling into your own as you swallow harshly, “yes, sir.” a sharp moan leaves your lips, as his hands pause in place. brows furrowing as he attempts to make sense of your reaction, before a smile is stretching across his lips, "i never thought you'd be into that, carino" 

his grasp on your chin drops, and he’s quick usher you out of your chair, and pressing your chest against the top of your desk in a simple motion. he picks up on the hesitation you show when his hand presses between your shoulder blades, “is... this alright with you, carino? you want this just as much as i do, yes?”

it takes you a moment to formulate the correct words, mind still spinning from the sudden turn of events between you and the colonel. your lick your lips, eyes straining to look at where he hovers above you, “i want this... more than anything...” the words flow out in a whisper, yet he hears them as plain as day. 

horacio hums softly, hand ghosting down your spine before he holds at your waist, squeezing gently as he presses himself into the curve of your ass, letting you feel his already hard cock straining against the fabric of his fatigues. your feet shuffle, a strangled moan leaving your lips before horacio peers over at you once more, “would you rather be on your back, agente?”

“yes...” you quickly answer, instantly feeling the pressure lift from your back before hands guide you up to a standing position. he waits patiently as you get settled back atop the desk, letting you get comfortable before he’s sliding between your legs and kissing your deeply.

hands tight grip the front of his uniform shirt, twisting the fabric between your fingers as he practically swallows you, tongue dipping into your mouth with little resistance to taste you. not stopping the moan erupting from your throat as a hand comes to rest at the side of your neck, rough pad of a thumb brushing over the front of your throat -- pressing lightly.

horacio pulls back from your lips, eyes twinkling slightly at the sigh of your bruised and abused lips, before his ripping through the front of your shirt, and the jeans that drove him crazy every time you accompanied search bloc on a raid, “you in these jeans... dios mío... que van a ser la muerte de mí.” he husks against the shell of your ear, hands already pushing the unclasped jeans down the length of your legs.

“muy bonito...” he compliments, finger ghosting over the lace fabric of your panties before he’s hooking them off to the side, and dropping to his knees, thick arms slide under your thighs, pulling you to rest just on the edge of the desk. without much of a warning, his tongue slid through your folds.

you curse loudly, and in that moment, horacio is thankful for waiting until the embassy was empty before approaching you in your office. however, the way your fingers quickly thread through his locks and blunt nails dig into his scalp, he can’t bring himself to care if a single person was still in the building. he wasn’t wasting this opportunity.

there’s a soft whispering of something as he hums against into your cunt, and while you aren’t able to make out what he says, it’s easily understandable in the way he presses his tongue into your fluttering cunt to feel you tremble under his touch.

eyes lock with your own as he broadly licks up your center, lips closing around your clit causing your spine to arch. the growl emitting from his throat as you pull at his curls and gasp in pleasure only warms and tightens the coil building in your belly.

he eats you out like a man starved, taking his time to taste and feeling you for all you are, driving you crazy as his tongue prods at your entrance, arms dragging you closer to push his tongue into you. his nose nudges against your clit with each flick of his tongue along your walls. hips hitching up to meet his strokes, grinding your pussy against his lips as he groans, sending vibrations straight to your core.

again, he utters something else in spanish -- nothing your ears are able to pick up on before he’s alternating between quick flicks of his  tongue over your swollen bud of nerves and large, broad strokes over your folds. he tightens his grip on you in the slightest, so he can fasten his lips to your cunt and suck.

“fuck... i’m gonna come...” you whimper out, arm almost giving out at a particular flick of his tongue. he only chuckles in response, shooting sparks up your spine, “ask me...” he utters from between your legs, loud enough to break through the haze fogging your brain, “can i... please come?” it’s almost pathetic in how you ask, yet horacio manages a to raise a brow up at you, “. volver a intentar.”

you groan in frustration, fist hitting the desk in anger as you work to form the words correctly this time around, “please... can i come, colonel?” you try once more, catching the fire that builds in his eyes at the name. and after a few more flicks of his tongue, he smiles against your cunt, “come, querida.”

at his words, the heat that had been building in your stomach snaps, and you fall over the edge. sobs rock your form as your orgasm washes over you, horacio moving to stand the second notices you arm almost giving out, and he quickly gathers you into his arms. a soft kiss pressed against your temple, a hand roaming along your back in comfort as you come down from you high, “want to continue?” he questions after a moment, looking down at you with a serious expression.

you swallow harshly, taking a deep breath before meeting his gaze and nodding, “yes... i want to.” horacio smiles, hands dropping from your form to work his pants open, and pull his cock from its confines. there’s a short moment where you’re mesmerized by the sight of him, yet it’s short lived as he strokes himself a few times, and guides the head of his cock through you wet folds, “dios mío...” he groans, before slipping his cock into your awaiting hole. 

arms quickly wrap at his shoulders, head resting against his chest as he fills you in one fluid stroke, pausing for a time to let you adjust to his size -- an almost painful task as he relishes in the warmth and tightness surrounding him.

“move...” you grit out, whimper as his hips draw back slowly for the first time since entering you, before sliding back in completely. you moan into his chest, letting him work you up to a languid pace, heated breath fanning against the skin of your collarbone as he thrusts into you each time. making sure to brush against that sweet spot deep inside you.

you grasp at his shoulders, looking for something to ground you as the coil tightens once more, and your orgasm already edging closer to snapping once more. and slowly getting closer with each thrust. 

he hears you blabble incoherently against his shoulder, and based on the way you impossibly tighten around him, he knows you’re closing to coming once more. yet, his pace never falters or picks up -- knowing this is what’s going to bring you both to completion, and with on final thrust, you come around his cock with a muffled scream as robes of cum fill you.

once again, he holds you close to him as you come down from your high. breath evening out until you’re shifting and making a disgusted face, “my desk...” you complain, grimacing at the mess stuck to the wood and some papers -- one’s you hoped weren’t super important.

“perhaps i should have picked a better place...” horacio trails off, making a face as he notices the slight mess before he’s leaning over to grab a few paper napkins to clean you up as best as he can before helping you back into your clothing. your button down is ruined from the exchange, but you can’t complain too much, as it wasn’t your pants or underwear, “i should probably head home...”

“i’ll walk you out.” horacio smiles, waiting until you’ve packed up the last of you bag before ushering you out towards your car with a hand at the small of your back. leaning against the passenger window frame just as the engine turns over, “this isn’t a one time thing, querida. i promise next time, there will be something more comfortable than your desk.” he promises, watching as you smile, “it’s okay... i kinda liked it.” the statement surprises him for a moment before a small smile appears on his lips and he nods, taking note before waving you off to head home.

the next morning, you find both of your partners looking over the office space with a displeased looks, “what's going on?” you question, trying tog et a peak over their shoulders to see what’s going on. steve makes a noise of discomfort as his arms tighten in their crossed form, “someone had sex in our office last night... left a mess.” javi makes a face, kindly thanking the cleaning staff as they exit the office area and letting you return to your desks, “people are animals sometimes, i swear.” steve comments from his desk, already afraid to touch things in fear of his desk having something on it.

you keep quiet about the situation, letting your partners think something completely different, or at least until you are able to come forward with... whatever your relationship with carrillo now is. but you do enjoy the way their faces scrunch up with each shuffle of papers. knowing it would make a good joke to the colonel later that day.

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