#the website for my uni fucking sucks

[a-timely-problem]

Overheard at the BAU

Derek, renovating JJ's and Emily's home

Derek: "...How is literally everything here done wrong?"

JJ: "Emily said that she knew what she was doing."

Derek: "She lied"

Emily, pouting: "I watched like four youtube tutorials. Are you telling me it isn' perfect?"

Derek: "I'm telling you that you're lucky the house didn't burn down."

[unholyphish]

Funny PINK HONSE has arrived and she is ON TOP OF DA WORLD!!! (aka my mouse matt) TYSM @punkitt-is-here ilovethisilovethisilovethis

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

[thewritingpossum]

sometimes people on rate my professors are just wrong

[thursdayg1rl]

wait but Lancaster is kind of ugly 😐

[tastyflowers]

ARGH you have to wait for your reference to fill in their forms before you can submit 😭 I really wanted to do it todayyyy

[bots-and-cons]

University, dropping courses and writing

University is keeping me very busy, but I’m gonna try to write and post something this week. It’s hard to stay on top of everything, but I’m trying. Writing stuff keeps me sane, and I wish I had more time for it, but I can’t really just abandon my uni work either, and it has to get done in time. I’m sleeping like 55% of my day, sometimes more but very rarely less. Idk if it’s my depression coming back, if it’s autistic burnout again or what the fuck, but I don’t like it. I have so much to do and no energy for anything. “This too shall pass but holy fuck”, as a wise person once said.

I’m drowning in school assignments. I’m going to have to drop two courses I was supposed to do this fall, because I just can’t manage the amount of work. I was originally going to do 37 credits worth of studies this fall, (one uni credit is about 27 hours of work in Finland) but I’m gonna have to drop it to 30 credits. I’m almost done with one of the bigger courses I have for this fall, but I still have two pages to write for the assignment too. It’s a ton of work, since I have to read and research so much for it. I already have 8 pages of it done, but the minimum requirement is 10 pages, so I’ve still got some work to do. I’m just hoping I don’t lose my benefits, since I’m required to do a certain amount of uni credits to keep getting my money.

I still need to talk with the guidance counselor, my tutor teacher and my psychiatric nurse about how I’m going to be lightening my workload at school, but I think it’s for the best. If I don’t drop some of my courses, I’m gonna end up on sick leave or something. I’m just gonna have to do those courses later. They’re independent courses, at least mostly, so it’s not really tied to any specific time. I really hope my teacher and the guidance counselor support me in my decision. I know the psych. nurse is gonna support me, since her job is not to get me to graduate as quickly as possible, unlike the university staff.

I feel like crap for not writing tbh. It’s not even really about the fact that I’m not posting anything, I just haven’t even had the time to write, which sucks ass. I’m gonna try to write once I finish the assignments that have deadlines next week. I think there’s three or four things that have the deadline next week, the earliest one is on Monday, but I want to get them done before that. I want to write and play Minecraft and do the things I enjoy, but I have a hard time enjoying them when the school deadlines are breathing down my neck.

Additionally, I think my tooth is chipped or something. It doesn’t hurt or anything, doesn’t even feel weird, but I can feel a sort of sharp edge on it. So that’s gonna be fun to take care of. I checked the university health services, and they’re apparently super busy and I don’t know if I’m even gonna get an appointment for this year. They luckily have a form you can use to get an appointment, so I might not have to call anyone. Their website says some of the forms have been taken offline though, because they are so busy atm. I’m incredibly bad at taking care of my teeth for multiple reasons, and think it’s finally gonna bite me in the ass.

[pigeonwhumps]

Letters

Immortal Cannon Fodder masterlist

Taglist: @extrabitterbrain @wolfeyedwitch

A selection of the multitude of post from Phoenix to their sister Alicia, stashed under her floorboards. Spans the roughly five year period between Phoenix being kicked out and their first Christmas after meeting Kai.

Inspired by this piece by @whumpsday.

1.1k

CWs: mentions of being disowned, implied abuse, implied/mentioned parental abuse, brief mention of crucifixion

Dear Alicia,

I'm sorry I left you. I didn't want to. You know that, right? You must do.

I'm just writing to tell you that I have somewhere to stay. You don't need to worry about me. I have a roof over my head and food and that's all I really need.

Except you. I miss you.

Stay safe.

Phoenix x

_

Alicia,

Merry Christmas!

It's been a hectic few months. I'm sorry I haven't written to you. I hope you're doing well in everything you want to do well in.

Also, congratulations on your summer camp application! I saw it in the newspaper. Mum and dad aren't too mad right? I don't want you to be kicked out too.

Got to go. I'll write again soon. Hope you like the wolf.

Phoenix x

_

Alicia,

Happy Birthday! I hope you like the stamp! Sorry if you had to pay. I think it's valid but I couldn't not send you a stamp of the time you petted a wolf. I didn't even know they existed until a few months ago!

Anyway. I found the website for that camp you're going on, and they had a list of recommended supplies. I know there's a hardship fund but I don't know if you qualify and mum and dad won't pay more than the bare minimum if you don't so anyway, what I'm saying is, here's some things for your summer. Only small things, I couldn't post anything bigger.

Enjoy! And I hope you have a good birthday! Sorry I can't be there.

Phoenix x

_

Merry Christmas. Immortality sucks. Hope you like the postcard.

_

Alicia,

Hey! Happy birthday! Hope you're still doing well! Here's another wolf!

Phoenix x

_

Merry Christmas!

Heeeey Alicia! I can walk gain! D'you know crucifixion is like flyng? Cept it hurts. It's in the air tho. Not there now. It's warm and fuzzy here. Mmmmm. Miss you. Want you here so I'm not cold and aolne so much.

Here's a wolf. He's a wonky wolf because he's drnuk. Not leki me. Nope.

Oh dear. I'm not sure they meant to write all that. They're drunk. Who gets drunk off eggnog? - E

Sick people who shouldn't be drinking it get drunk off eggnog. My boss is an idiot. And he forgot to tell you they're safe. Just a bad flu and probably a hangover this time. They'll be fine. - B

_

Dear Alicia,

Happy birthday! 16 today! You're getting old. It's making me feel old, my bones are all creaky and sore. I suppose I am an adult now (nearing a year of it now, actually). Is this what adulthood's like? It's weird.

I hope your exams went okay! Or are going okay, if you're not finished yet. Did the good luck wolf help? Here's a birthday one. He says happy birthday, and he hopes that you're having a good day. So do I.

I hope you like the photos on the card. And the book. I saw it at the bookshop and I couldn't not buy it, really. It reminded me of you.

I wish I was with you. You'll have to make do with this virtual cake instead for now I suppose. I hope you have people to share real cake with.

Happy birthday again,

Phoenix x

_

Alicia,

Merry Christmas!

Um, happy new year may be more appropriate. Sorry this is so late. I think I missed the last posting date. Maybe. I'm a bit all over the place, but it feels like it's gone Christmas. They're taking decorations down anyway.

Have a good... whenever it is you get this. Love you lots.

Phoenix x

_

Happy 18th!

Fuck, you're 18. HOW ARE YOU 18 YOU'RE AN ADULT THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

Hope you like the baby photos.

I don't know if you're still in school, or if you have an apprenticeship, or what you're doing next, but I've enclosed some things that might help. I remember you talked about going to uni but that was five years ago. There's gift cards, pens, notebooks, a cookbook (because I'm sure that's meant to be compulsory when you become an adult), I'm sure something will help.

Missing you lots, and I love you,

Phoenix x

_

I know it's not your birthday or Christmas but look what Aaron found in the zoo shop! It's a 3D wolf card! So I had to send it to you and I am not waiting over four months for you to get it!

Anyway. Kai and Aaron took me to the zoo for my birthday and the wolves loved Kai so much! There's photos so you can see just how much. And it was so much fun and the reptiles were so cool! I got to hold a Komodo dragon! There's more photos, Kai and Aaron insisted on taking lots.

Maybe I can see you again when you move out? It's been so long. You'd love Kai.

Missing you lots still.

Phoenix xx

_

Alicia,

Merry Christmas! I hope you're doing well. Whatever you're doing now, I hope it's good and that you're having fun. And if you haven't already, I hope you manage to get away from mum and dad soon.

Here's a little ornament, if you have a tree. Or if you don't you can hang him up anyway. His name's Joe (remember when you called everything variations of Joe?)

Phoenix xx

Hi. This is Aaron, Phoenix's friend. I need to tell you not to worry about the spots of blood. Phoenix cut themself cooking and won't put a plaster on because it'll heal (which is a bullshit reason but hey. This is Phoenix we're talking about). They're not badly injured, they're just incredibly stubborn and don't realise people might worry at the sight of their blood. Have a good Christmas!

- Aaron

So. I knew Phoenix had a sister, hi! But they said they were in contact with you, and we assumed that meant both ways, not letters that you can't reply to because apparently you don't have a means of doing so. They're scared of rejection, I think, and your parents finding out, but... they would really like to talk to you.

So here's the deal. I'll give you my phone number and you can tell me if you'd like to have theirs. Or I can just pass on messages or something, I don't know. I just know that they're missing you desperately and from what they say, you probably miss them too.

You don't have to message me or anything. But if you want to, if you want to talk to your sibling again (yes, I'm aware they're an idiot), please do. Whenever you like.

- Kai (07459 637 829) 🐺 ← Phoenix says you like them

[dasloddl]

if you are bored, tell us something about your life right now? And how you are doing?

Hi :)

Something about my life rn… I’ve been trying to look into my unis Erasmus program and the website sucks ass and the coordinator is out of office until the 9th of october (yay)

I do feel like I could do something (like read a book I wanted to read, or clean my room, or look into getting a license (fuck yeah I should really do that) but I really don’t have the motivation to do that

So that does make me feel kinda useless and therefore gives me anxiety

Other than that I’m doing alright tho I think

Another thing about my life: I just ate tomato mozzarella and bread and it was tasty

[automatismoateo]

Just remembered my weird religious studies teacher at college and the things he said via /r/atheism

Just remembered my weird religious studies teacher at college and the things he said I wanna preface this by saying I'm in the UK, I went to a multicultural school and not an Islamic school. The students who picked this class were almost all Muslim because the unit we had was Islam (easy pass). I'd say only 2 non-Muslims were present. So keep that in mind as I tell you about my absolutely weird religious studies teacher. I'm 25, this all took place when I was 17-18, studying Religious Studies in college. My teacher was a Bangladeshi Muslim. I was Muslim too, and at that age I was becoming a lot more conservative. I wore a jilbab (Google it, it's hideous) and I didn't listen to music for a year. I self-identified as a salafi. He taught us religious studies (Islam) and philosophy and ethics. Here was a few things he said that I cannot believe I didn't report at the time. 1 - He defended the Charlie Hebdo attack. It was brought up in a lesson and he said that he cannot understand why, as Muslims, we would condemn the attack. It was justified and they were asking for it. 2 - We had a lesson on hadiths and he introduced us to the website Sunnah dot com. We spent break time looking up hadiths to ask him about. We asked him about the Hadith regarding women being deficient intellectually and how that would make sense to us as women. He told us to suck it up and not to doubt it. We pointed out the girls in the class outperformed boys, nationally too. He said to stop arguing with Allah and to accept it. 3 - we went off topic once and started talking about what sleeping position were the best. I said I sleep on my stomach. He stopped me to tell me that sleeping on my stomach is giving jinns the right to rape you from behind. Needless to say, I stopped sleeping on my stomach. 4 - I was applying to study anthropology at university. I asked him for a reference for my application and he refused because he said anthropology will make me doubt Islam and I'll leave it (he was right, I left in my second year of uni). He begged me not to study this, and would spam my school email or videos and lectures of how evolution is false. I mean shamelessly begging during lessons. 5 - One of the students in my class, a Christian, actually converted to Islam during this time. She wore hijab for a few months, and joined us for prayer. A few months later, the novelty wore off and she removed her hijab and began wearing her cross necklace again. My teacher said "you can enter Islam but you cannot leave it. You should've known that. Luckily for you, nothing will happen. But you would've been killed in an Islamic caliphate". Along those lines. I'm sure she didn't regret her choice lol. 6 - He believed in apostates being killed. I had an argument about this with him because despite me being religious, this was so morally difficult to swallow. Apostasy is victimless crime yet you're killed for it. He told me to stop defending apostates or I will be like them. Basically, have no empathy. 7 - He would openly tell us how he wants a second wife. I cringed every fucking time. And he would wait for us to react negatively and say "what? It's allowed for me. Relax". 8 - told me to stop wearing lipstick. Like shut up.... 9 - A boy in our school came out as gay and he had so much to say including telling us not to speak to him or to work with him. Basically, he told us to discriminate against another student because he was gay. Anyway. That's the comprehensive list. There were probably more but I was just too blind to really acknowledge it as being weird. And yes this was all IN THE UNITED KINGDOM. Not an Islamic school. I cannot believe none of us reported him or said anything. We just thought he was cool and laid back and let us eat Pringles in class. But in hindsight, he was a morally corrupt, terrible teacher. Submitted November 23, 2024 at 04:45PM by Mobile-Worldliness16 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/BmYjDF2)

[herofics]

University, dropping courses, and writing

University is keeping me very busy, but I’m gonna try to write and post something this week. It’s hard to stay on top of everything, but I’m trying. Writing stuff keeps me sane, and I wish I had more time for it, but I can’t really just abandon my uni work either, and it has to get done in time. I’m sleeping like 55% of my day, sometimes more but very rarely less. Idk if it’s my depression coming back, if it’s autistic burnout again or what the fuck, but I don’t like it. I have so much to do and no energy for anything. “This too shall pass but holy fuck”, as a wise person once said.

I’m drowning in school assignments. I’m going to have to drop two courses I was supposed to do this fall, because I just can’t manage the amount of work. I was originally going to do 37 credits worth of studies this fall, (one uni credit is about 27 hours of work in Finland) but I’m gonna have to drop it to 30 credits. I’m almost done with one of the bigger courses I have for this fall, but I still have two pages to write for the assignment too. It’s a ton of work, since I have to read and research so much for it. I already have 8 pages of it done, but the minimum requirement is 10 pages, so I’ve still got some work to do. I’m just hoping I don’t lose my benefits, since I’m required to do a certain amount of uni credits to keep getting my money.

I still need to talk with the guidance counselor, my tutor teacher and my psychiatric nurse about how I’m going to be lightening my workload at school, but I think it’s for the best. If I don’t drop some of my courses, I’m gonna end up on sick leave or something. I’m just gonna have to do those courses later. They’re independent courses, at least mostly, so it’s not really tied to any specific time. I really hope my teacher and the guidance counselor support me in my decision. I know the psych. nurse is gonna support me, since her job is not to get me to graduate as quickly as possible, unlike the university staff.

I feel like crap for not writing tbh. It’s not even really about the fact that I’m not posting anything, I just haven’t even had the time to write, which sucks ass. I’m gonna try to write once I finish the assignments that have deadlines next week. I think there’s three or four things that have the deadline next week, the earliest one is on Monday, but I want to get them done before that. I want to write and play Minecraft and do the things I enjoy, but I have a hard time enjoying them when the school deadlines are breathing down my neck.

Additionally, I think my tooth is chipped or something. It doesn’t hurt or anything, doesn’t even feel weird, but I can feel a sort of sharp edge on it. So that’s gonna be fun to take care of. I checked the university health services, and they’re apparently super busy and I don’t know if I’m even gonna get an appointment for this year. They luckily have a form you can use to get an appointment, so I might not have to call anyone. Their website says some of the forms have been taken offline though, because they are so busy atm. I’m incredibly bad at taking care of my teeth for multiple reasons, and think it’s finally gonna bite me in the ass.

[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

Tell me about the first five photos you have on your phone or camera. in my phone gallery, the first two are selfies. one is a close up, one’s a mirror shot. the third is of our cat and our guinea pig who passed back in September that we had since 2018 both lying next to one another on my fiance’s lap. the fourth is of just our cat on his lap. the fifth is of the same guinea pig wrapped up in a ‘hidey hole’ in the blanket on the couch. 

Have you got any half or step siblings? a stepsister by marriage, and she’s the sister I never had!

Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on? I’ve met several people online, two of which I consider sisters who I met in late 2007 and early 2008 respectively. I met the first one from 07 who’s name is Allie, my nickname for her is Bee, and she’s British and lives in the UK. December 2012 she got to go with her class in uni on a school trip to NY and I made damn sure I got there from NJ to finally meet her face to face. best three days of my life, despite hellish circumstances during and revolving around the trip...definitely worth it. I can’t wait to see her again hopefully in the near future since it’s been over a decade since (OMFG THAT LONG?!...)

oh and we met through roleplaying sites for the show Instant Star which was made by the producers and creators of Degrassi.

When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have? I’m ALWAYS fuckin sick cause of my Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome...

Do you know anyone with a serious anger management problem? ha try my entire family on mom’s side, Mom being the WORST.

What color is your wallet? it’s black, gold zipper and it’s an Eevee wallet so it’s got a big pic of Eevee on it with symbols spread out in the background

Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? many many times over!

Do you have an unhealthy obsession with colored furry throw pillows that are different shapes and sizes? no

Have you ever had to call the cops on someone else before? I don’t believe I ever did personally, but god knows all my life the cops have been called on us cause of the constant domestic violence with my mom and dad, and then later on because of my mom and me....

Don’t you hate it when people suddenly love a celebrity when they die? I mean I don’t take it personally but with anyone, not just celebrity but especially any human being especially those closest to you, it’s fucked up when they make such a scene after the fact rather than while they were still alive. it seems shallow as fuck and fucked up.

What was the last cocktail you drank? Jack and Coke and dear fucking god do I neeeeeeeeeed some right now!

Are you good at keeping running counts and tallies in your head? to an extent but my mind constantly runs so much and adding in my anxiety and short term memory issues...not very well or long

Are there any foods you hate the smell of but like the taste, or vice versa? hmm not sure really

Do you have a dishwasher? no and it sucks not having one 

Do you make to-do lists? no

What pet names do you use for your friends/loved ones? I call everyone hun, guy or girl. obviously babe, baby for my fiance. and my two close girlfriends who I consider sisters, I call one Suga and the other Bee. we also call each other nob too. inside jokes over the years that stuck lol

What pet names do you like to be called? babe, baby, girl (in affectionate way)

Have you ever developed your own film? no

What breed was the last dog you saw? I saw a few out with their owners yesterday on the drive to and from the cancer institute...umm I can’t really remember what kinds, but I could swear one looked like a border collie :P

What’s your favorite thing to do at the end of the day? relax as much as possible, distract with tv, scrolling through my phone, cuddle with the cat

Do you have a hard time letting things go? yeah 

When did you last feel fear? last week cause I slipped and it was obvious from how I was talking on the phone with mom, so needless to say I was terrified she’d text my fiance about it..

What last made you smile? phone call a little while ago with results from an ultrasound I had yesterday on my neck for an upcoming surgery, which were negative for any spreads

Have you ever walked through a sunflower field? yeah when I was very little, Mimi loved sunflowers and I have pictures of us standing in front of one...I don’t remember it though sadly

Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s your favorite song from her? yeah, I’ve got several faves

What’s something great that has happened to you recently? finding out that my fiance saved up/set aside $3,000 so I can finally pay off all my fines from my DUI last year and revoke my probation so it’s finally over...such a fucking unbearable weight and stress for over a year now, is finally almost done and I’ll be free of it hanging over us...

Would you ever paint your bedroom bright blue? not bright but my bedroom at my dad and stepmom’s house I had painted a slate blue shade so it’s kinda on the semi darker side..kinda grayish blue similar to Tumblr homepage but lighter

What’s your favorite way to eat rice? with a fork, and with soy and duck sauce. I can’t use chopsticks to save my life lol

What’s something that has really impacted your life? so many things that I really can’t get into right now...

What did you last have as a snack? David brand pumpkin seeds with the shell (the same brand that makes the best sunflower seeds)

Do you like lima beans? they’re okay

How many bottles do you see from where you’re sitting? a few, wish they were alcohol

Do you ever do these surveys with your SO? no

Do you have a waste basket in your car? currently don’t have a car, but usually do a trash bag hooked around the stick shift, fiance does the same thing but he rarely uses it XD he just tosses stuff in the back or on the passenger side floor where I sit when I’m in it with him

What’s the last wild animal you have seen? birds around our house, and yesterday on the way to the cancer institute we saw a wild turkey along the side of the road :D we get those from time to time around here given all the land and farms

Something you were surprised to learn about your parent’s childhood? just how much partying and drugs they really did compared to the lighter version of honesty I got from them all my life...explained sooooooo much of my very young years (baby-7 years old)

Have you ever told a friend you thought their parent was hot? not to their face...XD

Have you ever destroyed another person’s belongings out of anger? no I grew up with shit being busted and thrown and used as a weapon even, I could never do that ever...

Which painkiller do you use? usually Ibuprofen/Excedrin. I have a prescription for Fioricet which is as needed for severe migraines, which I’ve had all my life genetically from my grandfather on mom’s side but the last several years I’ve weirdly been okay so yeah just over the counter mostly

Would you like to be part of a wedding party? I’ve been a guest to a few, but yeah to actually be like say a bridesmaid would be cool...although I’m waiting on my own wedding right now

Have you ever thrown anything up to hang on the power/phone lines? no

Something you taught yourself how to do? tie my hair in a ponytail and never looked back, write songs, some “feminine” needs...

What is the last song you listened to in a car? we weren’t playing any music yesterday, so I guess the radio station my last Uber had on which was on March 28th

Do you currently feel calm? yeah I’m okay right now

If applicable, what’s your favorite sports team? GB Packers, NY Giants, NY Jets

When did you last sign your signature? about an hour or so ago for a specialty med that was dropped off at my door. I had to sign the receipt to send back to them for no copay, that I received it, and to sign up for text message notifications regarding getting refills and shipping

What cover do you think is better than the original song? definitely Sound of Silence that Disturbed does. David Dreyman’s voice is so fucking perfect for that song, and I love the spin on it that they did. so haunting and beautiful and emotional.

Who is the last person that gave you butterflies? my fiance every day

Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? yeah my fiance

Have you ever told a guy you were a lesbian to get him to leave you alone? no 

If you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? impossible considering there’s so many shoes, let alone characters 

[feuqueerfire]

Midnight Motel Live Blogging

GMMTV really crammed some of my most anticipated 2022 shows to run at this time (Never Let Me Go, Midnight Motel, The Warp Effect), as well as My School President which I was keeping my eyes on. Think I’ll have to watch these the week they end or I’ll never catch up.

Playlist

Ep 1: Welcome to the Business (Jan 9 11)

1-1

ooh cool start

okay actually fuck idkkk maybe i’ll start this later? bc i’m in the middle of the Trials of Apollo series and also Never Let Me Go (ep 5 tmrw), which is 2 different stories already. maybe i’ll watch this on Wednesday and finish before next Tuesday so that i’m not weaving this and NLMG and trials of apollo.

aw the fact that Mote’s always out of luck and “missed the admission quota out of a top uni even though he passed the exam” sucks so fucking bad

oh Mond’s the pimp?

oh fuck Mond’s character is so scary D: I know people said so but rip

pls Mote standing and thinking of the shit possibilities of what could happen if he barges into Mond and Jan’s characters’ rooms 

Oh yeah I forgot that Mote and Kat are love interests right

Aw Kat T.T 

Kat’s so fun and funny

Sun’s making Kat pay her debts to him 

oh, interesting in a good way about Kat mentioning working so hard

1-2

oh it’s Kat’s mom’s debt that she’s paying off 

Sun kys

Mote researching the websites where customers and sellers buy-sell sex work and identifying the pain points to make their app is wholesome

pls Kat’s funny with tryna sell her services to Mote (+ his friend) and also they’re cute

pls Doy being like whyyyy tf did you bring this app to my doorstep again after we met the police and mafia last time

the dynamic between Doy and Kat not really believing Mote vs Mote being a sweet talker and knowing how to appeal to people

ooh a design for the app first this is just like my uni class

girl not pay by crypto 

does Sun have photos?!?! 

oh videos?!?!? is Kat and the client aware that these exist?!?!?!?! gross gross gross die die die

1-3

oof Mote and Kat are so cute. him being like “hmph, your pics on the app are catfishing for sure” and then when she elbows him, he exaggeratedly falls back ah >.<

yes Kat, come to Canada and we can kiss

Linguistics: Mote and Kat use gu-meung with each other. I think Kat and Sun also used gu-meung earlier, which surprised me a bit bc I expected Kat to use Khun w Sun or something but ig the rude pronouns make sense also

Kat saying she wouldn’t do this job if she could choose. the way they’ve been talking about sex work and prostitution is interesting in a casual way where’s a job that’s hard work and like Mote, she’s doing it bc of debt and wouldn’t do it otherwise. it’s not glamorized but the existence of it or sex workers aren’t made to be evil even though the situation sucks here

hope that Mote or Doy know what to do if things go wrong whether it be the guys are dicks like when Sun had to step in or if they refuse to give money or something

oh i see we’re getting to see them handle things like the short hair and wig, and now police are coming in. also i’ve just remembered that someone maybe dies

1-4

I don’t quite get the Big Boong thing. I know Mote pretended that Big Boong’s someone else, some big shot to make the police nervous and let it but who? why’d the cops leave?

wtf was that Kat being shot in the head scene? umm I’m hoping it’s just one of Mote’s fears and not something that comes to pass

I hope they all earn the money and pay off their debts ah

Ep 2: The Investor (Jan 12)

Ep 6 came out and I saw one person write that it’s a satisfying ending, so I’m glad

2-1

ooh they’re talking about how it’d be good if they could just legalize sex work but the police are gonna lose so much money from the bribes to leave prostitution alone that they won’t let it be legal

Mote and Kat are cute, aw

oof Mote and Kat are so non-flirtily flirty ma gudness

agh Kat’s mom was dead I thought but nope, she’s just letting her daughter pay back her loans and also coming for more money

oh noooo Kat’s flashback to how her mom disappeared from their home and so the guys who were looking for her came for Kat instead T.T

oh, this was the very first time Kat saw her mom since that incident? 

hmm Sun telling Kat’s mom to never see her again. I’d assume that Sun’s romantically interested in her in any other show but he treats her like crap, so maybe he just doesn’t want them to plan and run away or smth? 

wait Pom from Gifted, what are you doing here heh. Victor’s name is Pat here 

is Pat gonna be the man she kills? 

damn he really put a collar on her oh I hate this bc he seems so earnest and this could’ve been cute if Kat didn’t fucking hate it and Sun didn’t force here T.T 

2-2

damn, not us getting the backstory on why Pat wants to have power during sex because he has no power in his personal life

oh Pat’s a billionaire, possible investor? also, that unicorn ad thing kinda maybe reminds me of whatever investing ad Mote saw in ep 1 that made him make the other app or something

oh yeah, the camera in the room that Sun has so that he can fucking watch Kat and her clients agh but now catching Kat doing work that he hasn’t assigned her

ahhh that camera was hidden by Kat? it’s for blackmailing Pat?

i love the classical music choices and also Mote thinking of possibilities and them actually showing it as if it’s happening, like Kat getting shot in the head

2-3

“I just wanna tell your you’re definitely worth more than you think?” ah so cute

Mote really is just too good with words, Kat’s right that these sorts of people just aren’t trustworthy bc they know the right things to say “How am I going to trust you, you shard-tongued jerk of a CEO?”

oh Tawi/Jay looks really different when talking with Pat’s wife than when he’s tryna get money out of Mote. Are they different people?

who’s the person that Pat’s wife talked about? Is it Mote?

okay the guy who’s terrorizing Mote isn’t actually Tawi

ah this guy is so annoying either Mote gives him money to keep the business a secret and then can’t pay back his debt in time and gets the hotel taken away OR Mote doesn’t give him money and so he tells the police about the illegal prostitution

2-4

Sun is so fucking scary, threatening June with killing her son if she doesn’t tell him what she and Kat are doing aghhh

omg so stressful. on the one hand Sun’s tryna get Doy to get him into the app by pretending he’s a client, Kat’s with Pat who’s waiting for the pitch + she saw Sun in the lobby, and Mote’s fucking phone somehow fell under the bed

ahh cliffhanger ending rip

Ep 3: Ain’t Them Bodies Cents (Jan 12)

anyway, I know Pat dies for sure because someone on a discord sent a screenshot. that’s as expected bc i’ve barely seen him in gifs or anything

3-1

oof Doy fucked up and gave Sun the invitation and whole time Mote’s like yep I trust Doy to take care of it rip

pls the chaos of Doy talking to Sun and Mote presenting to Pat while Doy and Mote are also communicating via bluetooth

pls Mond is so scary as Sun. girl “I’m the owner of their breath” kalsdj okay

Mote is much smarter than Sean is all I can say lmfao he can lie p well, even though Sun has a suspicion that Mote’s lying

3-2

is Pat drunk or what? Why is he all woozy and falling? Did he take his medication too late or something? Did his wife drug his meds because there was a point made about him taking his med case before leaving

lmfao is Mote and Kat’s kiss gonna be interrupted by Pat dying

oh kinda. i thought we’d hear a gun shot sound but what happened? did he fall and hit his head and die since Pat was so off-balance?

so did Pat succeed in giving the money or no

lol the Kat butchering the body scene

3-3

pls the way Doy had to say he’s not sitting in the back w the corpse

is Sun at Kat’s home? oh fuck he’s throwing a fit

wait omg I kinda knew that Sun knew Kat when he was a child bc I’ve seen a caption bout smth like that with a clip of Sun sitting on that bench but I didn’t know she was close friends with him :0 that sucks so bad

ah shit so Sun wasn’t the one who brought her into sex work but someone else did and he was there and he seemed young

oh Sun’s terrible idk how he transformed into this hardened pimp quickly but then he said he’d pay off Kat’s debt if she transfers to his club

3-4

ofc Pat’s car has a GPS oof and ofc Pat’s wife’s cheating on him with Jay but we could guess that from last ep

not Sun waiting in room 211 with his suitcase of weapons 

so Pat did start the transaction of 20 million?

ooh Kat’s tryna get away to diff city but also she stole Pat’s phone. wonder if there’s tracking on that too 

Ep 4: Disappear Body (Jan 13)

4-1

Joy’s tryna get Kat to fess up or something bc of her threatened child, right?

k the current things at play is that Kat wants to access Pat’s crypto and leave for Canada, Joy wants to trick Kat possibly, Sun has come to find Kat and is threatening Mote, Jay is tracking Pat’s car and has been lead to the motel, also the debt collector mans that’s been bothering Mote wants his money as well for protection of Takkrub

oh Jay’s seeing Sun being weird with Mote in the hallway on the CCTV lmfao he can just walk in there all willy nilly. is the room Mote and Sun are in also viewable with cctv

lol I wonder if Jay will view Sun as the thread instead of Mote now and have his suspicion on him as a possible reason for Pat going missing? who knows. also i wanna know if Jay knows that Pat’s dead or not? has he searched the inside of the car? seems like no

4-2

bruv, Mote really got Sun, Jay, and the debt collector guy all in the same room wanting something from him gbye and gl “shit, this is like a fan meeting. Wait no they’re all after me.”

plsss the three of them all being like eyeee should be the one talking to Mote first, yall get out

pls the way Sun smiled and gestured and moved away as soon as the knife appeared

oh Jay killed the debt collector mans lmfao Mote’s gulping and now Jay has a gun

oh debt collected mans was called Big Off

lmfao Mote being like “he’s not my friend” and Jay being like “oh? he didn’t come to save you?”

pls it’s killing me the way Jay has to explain like “this is not an empty thread na krub. If you don’t tell the truth, I’ll kill both of you. Na?”

plssssss the arguments between Sun and Mote are so funny and Jay telling them to shut up each time like now Mote realizing Sun has a camera in Kat’s usual room

wait if the footage is there, why didn’t they show Pat falling and hitting his head agh

oh damn okay so the body wasn’t in the car even though that was the original plan. did Kat do something with it?

4-3

fuckk i’m so mad I had so many thoughts for parts 3 and 4 but it refreshed and all of it got deleted kms

I thought it was fun when in part 4 Mote started acting clever and threatening again after seeming to be bumbling and foolish in the first 3 parts. 

I liked the chips and card game fantasy scene. The crew in MDL seems fairly inexperienced but they’re doing well so far

Ep 5: Blast From The Past (Jan 14)

5-1

Sun how’d you turn out like this agh

byeee they dismembered Big Off

 neo appearance !

Police officer Jay sued an elite man who attacked a bus driver but the elite man got him fired?

sdlkfhj the neolouis sex noises

oof, Kat’s found out that Sun’s getting money from Kat’s mom, which is money that Kat earned from Sun

oh my fucking god, I need to kill Sun. I hope Kat kills Sun

Sun remembering Kat saving him from those guys and so finally kinda snapping out of (sexually, physically) assaulting her

5-2

this young kids Kat and Sun backstory is making me so fucking sad because they used to be friends

noooo the promise :< “when we grow up, we won’t become the kind of adults we hate”

Sun realizing he’s become the kind of adult he hated

pls Doy and texting is just aldskfj as soon as Jay gets the orders to kill/deal with the trio, he texts Mote’s phone (which Jay has currently and also doesn’t it have a password) that he can’t find it (the body) anywhere in the hotel lmfao. prev it was the thing with Sun coming while they were tryna show Pat the pitch

Kat’s a whole lot, she really is confessing? playing with Mote? in that bathroom and kissing him instead of admitting she ran away for a brief period and also stole the phone hoping for the crypto money

I wonder if Mote believes her after seeing her pretend with Pat bc I don’t think I believe her actions in that bathroom

5-3 and 5-4

Sun really tryna just make a deal with everyone huh? giving the bullet to Jay and saying to kill only Mote (also the ice cooler thing Jay’s getting the ice from is freaking me out bc at first I don’t think I registered that they hid him in the ice cooler but now that I know... hm is he in there). Telling Mote that he wants to invest in Takkrub

What did the uncle and aunt wanna tell Mote before Jay came in? Were they the ones who his the body? Like if it isn’t any of the captured trio, Doy was a possibility but then he didn’t show up for like 2 eps in the middle so I started thinking he’s less of a possibility? Or is he more of one because why did he also disappear for a bit? And it could also be uncle and aunt who someone calmly and quietly discovered and hit the body

pls I love the fantasy situations Mote goes through so much, like the convo with dead ghost Pat

naurrr flashing back to young Kat and Sun saying they’d protect each other as adult Kat tells Sun to get out of her life

oh Pat’s in the ice cooler the way they made it seem. so the one that they hit the body in had the :) sticker and then that got carted out and had more ice put in it and put out front and the new ice cooler that’s in the place of the old ice cooler doesn’t have that sticker

So would his uncle and aunt do that? The mover also deleted the CCTV footage, would they be able to do that? Doy was the one who deleted the previous CCTV footage, so would it be him? Why?

also Mote and Sun and stuff getting ice from the cooler while underneath was Pat’s body reminds me of To Sir, With Love where the maids were all having fun collecting that mushroom, whole time there’s Don’s dead body underneath

Ep 6: All Or Nothing (Jan 14)

6-1

So I guess it really was his aunt and uncle who moved the body

they let Sun walk out of the room?

6-2

did Sun take one pill and poison the fish? or what?

or is Sun stealing the meds pill box from Kat?

Sun you backstabbing bitch, him being like “we have our bullets for that” and whole time he doesn’t even have the bullet. he has me on edge fr bc I can’t tell if he’s just double-crossing Mote and Kat or double double-crossing Jay

lol the meds box is filled with stone, flashbacks to Squid Game Ep 6

oh so Sun did give Jay a defect bullet? but Jay told June to bring another gun my dudes

everyone’s got stuff under their sleeve, like Kat with Pat’s phone and Mote with the Takkrub upload of the evidence

also i don’t think their evidence is actually enough for much (like lol they themselves could’ve filled the box with poisoned pills afterwards to frame June) but I’m ignoring that

6-3

I don’t get the [A gift from Big Off] and “say hello to my little friend

oh Jay fr shot the uncle on the shoulder 

bruv, I was thinking of Jay falling off the roof maybe but I didn’t think they’d do it like that lmfao

the villains really do wait to shoot until the uncle’s there or until Sun’s covering Kat huh lmfao

oh Sun is so psychologically fucked. he really is like if I die then Kat dies with me

oh the friendship bracelets were from the promise of not becoming like the adults they hated

okayyy Kat didn’t know that Sun was the same kid as before. At first I thought she did but then it was like hm but yeah she’s asked him “Are you Arthit?”

please Mond’s doing so good as Sun. the way he’s like sorry for breaking my promise and handing back the bracelet and telling her live and be better for him as he lays there dying. It goes with his character arc that he dies here because he’s too irredeemable to continue with the gang or to continue inflicting pain with his pimping but because of his backstory and helping the gang thus far, he’s also not someone who we see as an one-note evil man anymore. too evil to not die but the audience doesn’t wanna see him go down in a horrifying grotesque way either

6-4

plssss Kat using Pat’s corpse for the face ID of his crypto wallet (the reason she came back p much)

girl shut up who is Yudo, we have Tony for Doy. actually Doy can be polyam, I’d like that. or a cheater, I’ll forgive that in preperation for Moonlight Chicken

Very pretty wrapped bow for the ending.

The last ep was good but not great, I don’t think they were super clever with their action or wrap-up, although it was still pretty fun. Also no like great twist in the final ep, which is fine but nothing about the final ep really makes it stand out. 

The acting was great, the script was comprehensible and well-paced, the production is good, featured sex work without villainizing the workers or the work itself. I loved Mote’s little fantasies of possible scenarios or of imagining an interaction in a different way (the card game with June, convo with dead Pat). I’m impressed by the creative team behind it. 

I won’t think about this much after today I don’t think but I liked this little show.

Rating: 6.5/10

Mock Trailer

The actual show ended up being pretty much the same as that mock trailer, guess they’ve had the script done for a while. It was snappy but gave away a lot, so I’m glad I hadn’t watched most of it before watching the show (or if I had, it must’ve been like 10 months ago and I completely forgot it because only the first like 15 seconds seemed familiar and I knew the concept before going in).

Official Trailer

Once again, reveals a lot but is slightly better created than the OG, which is expected.

[enemy-archive]

I love the depth and detail that you go into when analyzing your obsession. this made me want to also write a bit more on the way this all happened for me, as I realized that I didn't really elaborate much about how this hyperfixation went in my case in the first post.

I read the GO book some time ago in my teens (±10 years ago?), when I read more fantasy, and some other stuff by Neil Gaiman as well. I liked GO and was of course, immediately invested in this love between Crowley and Aziraphale, I was really nice to read this kind of relationship, the closeness in spite of being enemies, and the ways they are with each other in the book overall. didn't go really deep into it though and moved on soon. I did enjoy the book greatly, and was a bit bummed about the cover which in my case looks like this…

Around this time, or a bit earlier, I was a huge sherlock fan, shipped johnlock hard, and was properly obsessed with sherlock holmes in general (from reading conan doyle as a child, to watching every tv and film adaptation and finally fixating on the bbc version). I liked and consumed a lot of cultural products, primarily British, and was into many ships (for example, merthur and destiel), but sherlock was a hyperfixation during my high school time. still I managed to somehow study and finish school and get into uni. over time, I got interested in other things; I needed to study and work, so I left tumblr (I remember cutting myself off of it, deleting my account and history, so there's nowhere to go back to, so it wouldn't interfere with my new life. I actually didn't go back then)

In 2020 during the quarantine, I watched season one of Good Omens — I was like, "alright, here we go: the book I liked + david tennant, + fucking michael sheen (I tell you, masters of sex did a weird thing to me), sounds like nostalgic fun". I watched it, and then went on with my life.

and then this september, I watched it absolutely accidentally. I don't even watch that much television anymore, but I was exhausted from work, had a free evening and my girlfriend was away so I wanted something comforting and escapist and there it was — season 2 of good omens. I was even a bit annoyed at the show at first (in retrospect, this might have been a self-defence reaction so that I don't get sucked in. I still want to respect this annoyance thought). I thought that all these scenes of crowley and aziraphale being so married were audacious queerbating, and then the kiss looked so stupid to me, and I thought that it was made to be ridiculous to maybe get away with queerbating, or as some kind of distasteful joke... I kept thinking how weird it was for this show, clearly made by a bunch of straight British middle-aged men, to have almost exclusively queer characters. This still bums me a bit, but I need to gather my thoughts to speak about this specifically. maybe queerbating is a spectrum.

I went on the comment section of the russian website where you can watch the shows fo free (don't at me, I can't watch it on amazon prime because my area is restricted due to my country launching a whole criminal fucking war on Ukraine). It just sort of popped in front of my eyes, this comment section, so I went there thinking, "maybe people also thought it was a bit ridiculous," and what I fucking saw. the whole 100+ comments hate towards the second season boiled down to the fact that they were "made gay" and to "too much agenda"("agenda" or "povestochka" is how homophobes call lgbt- and queer-related anything, and the connotation is that it's planted maliciously into russia by "the west" where everyone's gay). I just want to talk about it here because, guys, the homophobes. they don't even know. people literally write: it was a cool story of two BROS, just two DUDES hanging around being PALS, and THEN they spoiled it with the kiss. like to many people, this is a completely straight and "normal" tv show (except for annoying lesbians, I guess) that they like, until the last 15 minutes. to which I was like, excuse me?? didn't you see how these two clowns have literally loved each other since forever? even in the 1st season, the romantic bit is not confirmed, but who can deny that it's a love story? not comradery story…. so this got to me, and traumatized, I went looking for someone who feels the same way as I do. and I think that's how I got sucked in. I marveled at all the little gestures and half-expressions, analyzed all the plot and all the tiny hints, and re-read the book; I wanted to go deeper, to some point of total immersion into the thing that is between them. it wasn't annoying to me; I loved it.

I feel like this is getting too long.

@martinsharmony I really loved reading your post, because of course our experiences aren't the same, but there are similarities in them, that make me feel not so alone. I've spent two weeks really not being able to focus my mind on anything else (thank god it let go of me a bit, because I have really big changes in life to get to), feeling constantly drawn to this story and relationship, to the details of it, to metas and fanart, to fanfiction. my work is also flexible atm, so I could sort of afford to do this. it was just like with sherlock when I was in high school — and this feeling of lack was there again. so what is it a lack of?

in the part of your text you address this friendship or relationship that needs to cross over and become bigger — while I personally really don't like to discuss real and famous people's private lives and relationships (i imagine myself being a public person and feel actual terror at the thought of being perceived so hard), It was super interesting to me to read your thoughts about this — I talked with my friend who has similar experiences with reading yaoi manga, and she suggested that what lays under all of this, what attracts us — this big experience of transcending, love that transcends boundaries, rules, orders. love between angel and demon who've known each other for millennia is such a type of love; love between two men who grew up within a hetero-patriarchal order could also be this kind of love because they would need to transcend the limits within their brain and cultural programming.

and queer love in contemporary russia is such love as well because you have to defy the law and hate and totalizing homophobia, but it also comes with a heavy dose of reality: you have to think about coming out to your parents, people around you, and whether your relationships will change or not, you have to constantly hide a huge part of yourself, you have to figure out clever ways to be together or be yourself under pressure and danger, and it's exhausting. but it's so good to fictionalize this experience of transcending love and live through it without having to deal with immediate danger and pain.

I feel like I have so much more to say and I'm shit at formulating quickly. I loved reading your entry and am thankful that you've started this dialogue, I will continue later, and maybe in the meantime you'll want to write something too..

dear GO fandom,

I'm back to tumblr after literally ten years away. One evening, almost by accident, I stumbled upon season 2 of Good Omens. I watched it, and it launched a hyperfixation of the kind I haven't had in years.

I've just been noticing people here and there on this website mentioning that they're also back to tumblr after many years, and I'm curious what's up, like, how big is this phenomenon, and could it be something to do particularly with Good Omens, or is it something else?

personally, I'm taking pleasure in experiencing something I did as a teen, this obsession, and this fandom as a huge community of wonderfully creative, brilliant, and observant people worldwide who are going through the same thing. (It's low-key ruining my life and ability to focus on work and my responsibilities, but I manage).

It's also hugely about escaping from the homophobic reality that surrounds me, so I get to go drown myself in the love story of two unearthly beings, which is fiction, and fiction has its rules, so eventually, everything will be okay...

I also have a feeling of a drop going deep somewhere near, like this dramatic and fundamental lack of something in life that I can feel more clearly when I drown myself in thinking about this relationship.

that all and also the trap constellation of

*book I've read as a teen**loving neil gaiman writing* *LOVING john finnemore**having been huge doctor who fan in the past and obv being fond of david tennant**being mysteriously pulled in by michael sheen in masters of sex**just being obsessed with British things as a baby**heaps of queer representation to feel safe* etc... so the whole thing just feels like home to me.

These are really unformed thoughts, and what I was really interested in is whether anyone else feels something like that in regard to GO or not, and what are your thoughts about your experiences? Maybe there's already been a discussion on that, and I just haven't found it yet. Anyway, I just find this all really really fascinating.

[chaoticportalfan]

why is the website where i have to sign up for my classes literally the worst

[yukinyaminyato]

i hate my uni so much i'm this 🤏 close to impulsively sending a master's degree application to whatever uni abroad just to get away from here