#the way that they clearly have leftover care for each other but don't really know how to bring it up
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cosmicplating Ā· 4 days ago
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I'm stayin' on later just in case you come up and ask to leave with me.
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sofiaispunk Ā· 2 years ago
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The Bakery Crush - PART (1/2)
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Joel Miller x Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic!Reader
summary: Just two fools clearly in love, pining over each other because ... well, they are fools.
words: 3kish
warnings: angst, JEALOUSY, Joel being a fool, smut, pining, age gap, bad puns, heartbreak, 18+
You enjoyed the little things in Jackson. The little fairy lights that brighten up the street and making Jackson almost feel like a magical wonderland,Ā the vibrant colors of the changing leaves in autumn, the sound of the flowing water from the nearby river, but what you enjoyed the most was the smell of freshly baked bread from your little bakery on the corner in Mainstreet.
Shortly after arriving in Jackson Maria assigned, you to baking duty, since you were a professional baker before the outbreak, and showed you to your new working place.
It was a charming little bakery that had been abandoned for years but as you peered through the dusty windows, you immediately saw the potential.Ā 
Tommy, Mariaā€™s husband, helped you turn the rusty shop into your dream bakery. You spent countless hours painting the walls a warm shade of yellow, installing new cabinets and countertops, and laying down fresh tiles.
You were determined to make the bakery stand out, a place with a warm atmosphere where everybody felt welcomed. You even found old wooden crates to use as shelves, hung vintage baking utensils on the walls, and added some decorative flowers for the ambiance.
That was a year ago and since then your bakery has become the favorite place of the residents of Jackson and Jackson became your home.
-
You were busy kneading a batch of dough when you heard the familiar jingle of the bakery's bell.Ā 
"Hey there, Ellie!" you greeted her with a smile. "How was school today?"
"It was fine," she replied, shrugging off her backpack. "But you know what would make it better? A freshly baked blueberry scone."
You chuckled. "You never change, do you? One blueberry scone for my favorite customer coming right up."
As you handed her a warm scone on a napkin, Ellie grinned mischievously. "Thanks, (y/n). This looks berry delicious!ā€
You couldn't help but chuckle at her pun. "That's a good one, Ellie. You really do have a way with words."
She grinned. "Thanks, I try. I mean, it's not like I'm rolling in dough like you are." She waggled her eyebrows at you and took another bite of the scone.
You laughed lightly, continuing to work on your dough, "You're too much, Ellie. But you always make me smile, thatā€™s why you my favorite, yā€˜ know."
"Well, that's what I'm here for," she said with a grin. "To brighten up your day and eat all your delicious scones."
You rolled your eyes playfully. "You're lucky I like you, kid."
Ellie finished up the last of her scone and sighed contentedly. "Man, that hit the spot. I don't know how you do it, really. Your scones are always so flavorful and yummy."
"It's all about using the best ingredients and putting my secret ingredient in ā€¦ love." You answered playfully, slightly cringing at your cheesy answer.
Ellie just groaned silently but nodded. "Well, it shows. You know, you really raisin the bar when it comes to baked goods."
Now it was your turn to groan. "That one was a bit of a stretch, Ellie."
"Hey, I can't help it. I'm on a roll today."
You both laughed as she grabbed her backpack and headed over to you to give you a small hug and a quick kiss on your cheek "Thanks for the scone. Iā€™m off to Dinaā€™s. See you, tomorrow.ā€
And with that Ellie rushed her way towards the exit.
"Take care, Ellie," you called after her with a smile. "And keep those puns coming, kid."
-
It was getting late and you were closing the store front for the day. YouĀ packed up the leftover treats from the bakery and couldn't help but think that maybe Joel would want to enjoy them. So you gathered up some pretzel pieces, bread, two scones that Ellie loves, and some croissantsĀ and made your way to Joel's house.
The evening sky painted in different hues of orange and pink. The streets were quiet as most people had retired for the night. You walked leisurely towards Joel's house, taking in the sights and sounds of the town you had grown to love.
When you reached the house, you knocked on the door and waited. Ellie opened the door with a surprised look on her face.
"Hey, Ellie. Sorry to drop by so late. I thought maybe you and Joel would want to have some of these leftover treats," you said, holding up the bag of the baked goods.
Ellie smiled, "Of course we would. You know he can never resist them, and neither can I. Come on in."
As you followed Ellie to the kitchen, you couldn't help but notice how cozy and warm their home was. The living room was dimly lit, and the only source of light came from the candles on the coffee table.
ā€œJoel's not home yet, though.ā€œ She said while tearing up a piece of croissant, ā€œI don't know where he is, and it's kind of weird because he's never out this late."
Your eyebrows furrowed with concern. "Really? That's strange. Do you want me to stay with you until he gets back?"
Ellie shook her head. "No, that's okay. I'm sure he's just caught up with something. Thanks for the offer, though."
You nodded and headed over to the door, "Sure, no problem. Let me know if you need anything, okay kiddo?"
Ellie nodded and bid you goodnight and you made your way home, in desperate need of a warm shower after a long day at work.Ā 
-
You stood under the warm shower, the water cascading down your body, the stream slowly relaxing your muscles, allowing yourself to let your mind wander. Thoughts of Joel flooded your mind. You couldn't help but think about his chiseled physique and his strong, defined features. His nose, perfectly carved, led down to his plush lips that always seemed to be turned down in a permanent scowl.Ā 
But then, there was his smile. The one that could light up an entire room, the one that made your heart skip a beat. The way his face changed, softening, and becoming almost boyish, when he talked to Ellie. His soft brown eyes crinkling with laughter every time Ellie tells one of her many jokes. It was like seeing a completely different side of him, that almost felt like was just reserved for you and Ellie.
You let your soapy hands glide over your body pretending they were his big,Ā calloused ones exploring your body.Ā Steam filled the bathroom as your moans and whimpers echoed though the small room.Ā 
You drew tight circles on your most aching part while imaginingĀ the way his broad shoulders would feel under your hands,Ā and his strong thick fingers, that always seemed to be working on something, replacing yours. His lips sucking and licking on every part of your body, consuming you.
"Joel,ā€ you let out a final moan, your voice not much above a whisper, as you reached your peak, your walls clenching around nothing.
The water started to cool as you tried to catch your breath, bringing you back to reality. You took a deep breath and stepped out of the shower, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel. You knew you needed to push these thoughts aside, but a part of you couldn't help but think about Joel and wonder where he could be at this hour. You just prayed that he was okay.
-
The next morning, while you were getting ready to open the bakery, you noticed Joel and Ellie walking in. To your surprise Joel was carrying a bouquet of flowers and a bag of coffee beans, which caught you off guard.
"Good morning, (y/n)!" Ellie chirped, her eyes sparkling mischievously.
"Morning, Ellie. Morning, Joel. What brings you guys in today?" you asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.
Joel smiled warmly. "I just wanted to say thank you for the bread and scones yesterday. They were delicious. And I thought you might like these flowers and coffee beans as a small token of my appreciation."
Your felt your heartbeat race as he handed you the small bouquet of wildflowers. "Thank you, Joel. That's very thoughtful of you."
Ellie nudged you with her elbow, a sly grin on her face. "Looks like somebody's got a secret admirerā€¦ well, not so secret," she teased.
"Ellie, please. Thatā€™s enough" Joel gave Ellie a stern look. Ellie just shrugged innocently in return and skipped off to the display case, leaving you alone with Joel.
"Listen, I don't want to keep you from your work. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you do for me and especially for Ellie.Ā Ā And, well, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask."
ā€œThank you, that means a lot, Joelā€ you blushed slightly.
ā€œAnytime, darlinā€™,ā€ he placed his warm hand on yours and you felt a flutter in your stomach at the contact of his skin.
As if reading your mind, Ellie sauntered back over, a chocolate croissant in hand. "What's going on over here? Are you two making googly eyes at each other?"
Joel laughed. "No, Ellie. She and I were just having a friendly conversation."
But Ellie wasn't convinced. "Uh-huh. Sure, you were. Well, I'm going to go enjoy this delicious croissant. You two keep doing your thing."
As she walked away, Joel turned back to you with a warm smile. "Don't mind her, darlinĀ“. She's just teasing. But, really, thank you again for everything."
As Joel and Ellie were about to leave, Ellie turned to you, "I almost forgot to ask you if you wanna come to the community hall tonight and watch a movie with us?"
"Really? You want lilā€™ old me to come with you?" you teased.
Ellie rolled her eyes. "Duh. We wouldn't have asked if we didn't want you to come. We're watching this old western movie that Joel loves. You know, to keep up with his cowboy persona."
Joel chuckled. "Ellie, you know I'm not a real cowboy. But, yes, we would love it if you came. ā€œ
You grinned. "I would love to come. And I'll bring some blueberry scones."
Ellie's eyes lit up. "Yes! I knew you would say that. Those are my favorites."
-
You made your way to the community hall, the twinkle lights hanging above the entrance, casting a warm and inviting glow. The hall itself was a modest, single-story building with wooden walls and a sloping roof.Ā Overall it was a cozy space and pretty much the center point of your little community.
As you entered the hall, you were greeted by Tommy and Maria , who were standing by the door, handing out programs for the evening's event. They both smiled and greeted you warmly.
"Hey there, (y/n)!" Tommy said. "Glad you could make it."
Maria chimed in. "Yes, we're all excited for the movie tonight. Have you seen it before?"
You shook your head. "No, I haven't. But I've heard good things. Ellie seemed excided."
You made some small talk about the movie and the bakery before you spotted Ellie and Joel sitting in the front row. You made your way over to them, feeling a sense of excitement and anticipation.
"Hey, guys," you said, sitting down next to them. "Looks like we got good seats."
Ellie grinned. "Of course, we did. Dad always gets here early to get the best spot."
Joel chuckled. "That's right. Gotta be prepared."
Joel was holding a big bag of popcorn and handed it over to you,Ā your fingers barely touching, sending shivers down your entire body. "ā€™M glad you could make it.ā€ he whispered into your ear. You felt his breath lightly tickling your earlobe.
"Oh, I have a small favor," Ellie exclaimed, turning back to you, causing you to abruptly snap out of your trance.Ā 
"Dina's birthday is next week. Do you think you could make her a cake?" Ellie asked shyly. ā€œOnly if you want of course and only if you have enough spare ingredients. I know itā€™s a lot to ask from you but Dina is not just any friend ā€¦ wellā€¦Ā Ā she is my friend of course but she is my best friend and special and I want to do something extra special for her. I am sorry, just forget I said anything. ā€œ Ellie was visibly distressed.
You smiled and put a reassuring hand on her arm to stop her rambling. "Of course I can. What kind of cake were you thinking about?"
Ellie's eyes sparkled with excitement. "She loves chocolate. And... wait for it... peanut butter."
You laughed. "Well, it sounds like we'll have to come up with something extra special for her then."
Ellie hugged you tightly and you couldnā€™t help but feel so much adoration for the girl. In the short timespan you knew each other she crawled her way into your heart and became part of your family.
Ellie nudged you. "Oh and look, there's Karen and her grandkids. She's been raving about your cinnamon rolls all week."Ā 
You looked around the hall and were surprised to see how many people had shown up for the movie night. There were families with kids, elderly couples, and even a few teenagers.
You smiled. "I'm glad to hear that. Maybe I'll make some for the next movie night."
The lights dimmed and the movie began, Joel and Ellie sat on either side of you, munching on popcorn and occasionally making side comments about the movie.Ā You were immediately drawn into the Western that was playing, with its sweeping landscapes and rugged cowboys which kind of reminded you of Joel.
About halfway through the movie, a woman sat down next to Joel and began talking to him, completely ignoring the fact that you were in the middle of a film. Ellie let out an annoyed huff and shushed her, but the woman didn't seem to get the message.
You turned to Ellie and gave her a gentle nudge. "Hey, now. Let's not be rude," you whispered.
ā€œSheā€™s the one being rude. ā€œEllie rolled her eyes but quieted down and turned her attention back to the movie.
You on the other handĀ found yourself growing more and more distracted by the conversation between the woman and Joel. They laughed and chatted, and Joel seemed to be thoroughly enjoying her company.Ā 
Your curiosity was piqued, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.Ā Who is that woman? How do they know each other? Did he invite her to watch the movie with him? You tried to focus on the movie, but every time the woman laughed, your attention was drawn back to their conversation.
Ā Your thoughts didnā€™t seem to quiet down andĀ raced through your mind, and you found yourself feeling increasingly agitated.Ā At the corner of your eye stole a glance at Ellie, who was engrossed in the movie.Ā 
You strained your ears to catch snippets of the conversation between Joel and the woman and immediately noticedĀ the flirtatious undertones in their banter. The woman was playing with her hair, and Joel kept stealing glances at her. You felt a knot forming in your stomach as you watched them.Ā 
At one point, you heard the woman mention something about a rodeo, and Joel's face lit up with a smile. "Oh, you were a natural on that bull," he whispered, chuckling.
The woman grinned. "Yeah, until I fell off and almost broke my arm," she replied, playfully punching Joel in the arm.
Then, the woman leaned in close to Joel and whispered something in his ear. You couldn't hear what she said, but Joel's eyes widened, and he let out a low chuckle.
She leaned back in her seat. "What do you say, cowboy?" she asked, winking at him.
The credits rolled and the lights came on, and you quickly stood up and you couldnā€™t wait to get out of there. You couldn't bear to be in the same room as Joel and the woman any longer. You didnā€™t care how childish you were behaving or if somebody would notice your weird behavior. The jealousy and hurt were too much to bear in this moment.
You hugged Ellie tightly, not wanting to let go. "Thanks for inviting me, Ellie. I had a great time," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
Ellie looked up at you with concern in her eyes. "Hey, you ok, right?" she asked, sensing that something was off.
You forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah, of course, Ellie Bellie. Just a little tired," you lied.
Joel and the woman looked over at you, and you nodded in their direction goodbye, unable to meet their gaze, and quickly made your way out of the hall.
Once outside, you steadied your breathing and tried to compose yourself. You felt foolish for letting your emotions get the best of you. Afterall, Joel was a free man,Ā and he was entitled to date whoever he wanted. You knew this, but you still couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment and hurt.
Ā Suddenly the sky opened up and it started to rain heavily. It felt like the world was crying with you. The raindrops were mixing with your tears, and you couldn't tell the difference between the two. The wind was picking up, and you felt cold to the bone. It was as if the weather knew the pain you were feeling and was trying to make it worse.
Ā Your body was shaking uncontrollably, and you felt foolish for thinking that there could have been something between you and Joel. How could you be so naive? Joel was just being kind to you, and you misinterpreted his kind gestures and turned it in some twisted delusional romantic idea.
How pathetic of you for even considering the possibility that Joel might have had feelings for you.
You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to hold yourself together as the rain continues to beat down on you.
At the end of the day, Joel Miller, was nothing more than your stupid little crush.
Part 2
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nicoleheichou Ā· 1 year ago
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Girl Of My Dreams - Chapter 49: Know That Look
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Synopsis: Sakusa was the type to always get things done on his own, but now that he's forced to juggle between his successful pro-volleyball career and being a single dad, what happens when he enrolls his daughter in a new preschool and meets his daughter's new teacher? Will their relationship remain professional or will it evolve into something more?
You were sat at the dining table, having just finished up breakfast along with Sakusa and his family. Kimi let's out a sigh from beside you before leaning back in her chair and patting her tummy with both hands. "Now that hit the spot!" You hear chuckles from around the table, clearly everyone was as enamored with the toddler as you were.
"What are your plans for today, son?" Sakusa's father questions while taking a sip of his tea. You watch as Sakusa just shrugs, an arm coming to wrap around your shoulders. "We're just going to see where the day takes us." His parents nod, satisfied with the answer before his mother starts to clean up, causing you to spring on to your feet to help.
Today you weren't going to give in to her protests, you wanted to help clean up especially since Kiyoomi's sister, Kiyoko, wasn't here to help clear the mess away. "Is there anything you want to do while you're here?" His mother questions as she hands you a plate to dry. You glance towards the entrance of the kitchen, catching a glimpse of Kimi in the living room with her grandpa and dad. Judging from the conversation she'd just convinced her grandfather to read her a story.
You shake your head, a smile forming on your lips as you hear the young girl's giggles. "I just wanted to spend time with them. It didn't matter where." You place the last dish on the drying rack just as his mom finishes putting the rest of the leftovers away. "In that case, why don't we go out? Just the two of us. I think it'd be nice to get to know you better. You've clearly won over my son and grand daughter." You were hesitant to be alone with her, at least here Sakusa and Kimi were just a few feet away, but if you left with her you wouldn't have a buffer and you weren't sure what to do. You just really want her to like you and you're worried if left alone you could mess it up.
"Oh don't worry! I won't bite sweetheart! Plus, we'll have so much fun!" Her smile easily puts you at ease that you can't help but agree. You excuse yourself to get ready which has her just as excited and rushing off to prepare for your day together.
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You had just finished the painting class but it seems that she wasn't ready to return home, so you both decided on going to the park across the street to relax and get to know each other better. "Did you know you're only the second girl Kiyoomi has ever brought home?" She says as she sits down on a bench. You weren't expecting her to start the conversation with this interesting tidbit so you were taken aback. "No I didn't. But why am I not surprised to hear that? Omi is serious with his relationships. I've noticed that he's very guarded and decides who he wants to let in." You watch as a smile forms on her lips at your observation of her son.
"He really cares for you. And from what I've seen in the time I've known you, I can confidently say you feel the same way for the both of them. I've never seen Kimi be as attached to anyone else besides her father, but to see the reaction she had at not being able to call you mommy, that's when I knew." You look at her, confusion evident on your face. "Knew what?" She let's out a chuckle before giving a pat on your shoulder.
"That you're good for the both of them and that you're the missing piece to their puzzle that they've been searching years to find. Unlike his ex..." She scoffs, a look of disgust on her face before she continues, "You aren't with him for your personal gain, you're with him because you truly care for him. And I know you do because it's not easy starting a relationship when you know he has Kimi and that they're a packaged deal. Not everyone wants to be with a man who's had a daughter from another relationship. But from what I've heard you'd accepted that fact quite easily."
It's your turn to smile, you know how you feel about the father and daughter duo, but there's just something about hearing someone not directly involved in the relationship describe how you feel. "It's hard not to be enamored with them. Kimi is such an easy child to love, she's so sweet, kind, smart, not to mention the cutest child ever, but I might be a tiny bit biased on that." She lets out a chuckle before nodding her head in agreement.
"And where do I even start with Omi? We started out a little weird, what with me being Kimi's teacher and us having mutual friends, but look at us now. He makes me so happy, I can't imagine him not in my life anymore." You let out a sigh thinking about how you're already missing those two and how you can't wait to get back to them. "I love how they look out for each other. And I'm so thankful they've allowed me to be a part of the little bubble they've created together. They both mean so much to me." You feel your eyes getting a little teary, thoughts about how much you care for them making you emotional.
Her hand comes up to gently rub your shoulder. "I know that look." You rub your eyes trying to get rid of the wetness before giving her a questioning look. "Whenever you speak about my Kiyoomi, you get this look in your eyes. It's the same look I get when I talk about his father. You're in it for the long haul, aren't you?" There's a knowing look in her eyes and you can't help but nod your head, were you really that easy to read?
"Was I that obvious?" You watch as she scoffs before listing all the times she'd caught you staring at her son or pointing out how you almost cry every time Kimi calls you mommy. You bring your hands to your face to hide your embarrassment. "My son and granddaughter deserve to have someone who cares about them and doesn't see them as a means to get what they want. They've been through so much and I know they'd be able to get through anything as long as they have each other, but I also know that's not what they want. I know they've always felt like their unit was incomplete, that a part of them was missing. But ever since you came into their lives, they seem whole. I just want to let you know that I'm so thankful that you decided to give them a chance. It means a lot not only to them but to me as well. I just want them to be happy and you do that for them everyday. So thank you." She says as she pulls you into a tight hug that lasts a few minutes, before she's pulling away, a few tears escaping her as she does so. "It's nothing to thank me for Mrs. Sakusa. I just want them to be happy, I want to see them smile, to hear them laugh, I want nothing but good things for them."
She takes the tissue you offer her then dabs at her eyes, careful not to ruin her makeup. "Please, call me mom. After everything I've seen and heard, I'd be honored to call you my daughter." You feel your eyes begin to well up with tears before you're launching yourself onto her and pulling her into a hug. She lets out a laugh before wrapping you up in her arms. "Thank you." She spends the next hour telling you all about her son and his daughter. Stories you can't wait to bring up to Omi just to watch him squirm in embarrassment.
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I thought it would be nice if we got to see mc's day with mama sakusa. Lol.
As usual, let me know what you thought in the comments or thru ask!
Taglist: @taelia15 @dorkange @sexyandcringe @szeonn @natriae @whore-for-anime @diestheticu @loveinhaikyuu @youraggedybitch @mikk-o @erenisms @akisrandom @confusion-lord @aikochan4859 @trashy-simp @somniari-94 @pillboxmb @astrrnmy @all-in-the-fandoms @mattsunnn @kunikame @daninaninani @juniorhooter @crayonwriting @beans-and-jeanes @lvrjjun @sosiegate @grassbutneo @saaraunicorn @lalalemon101 @sunahyejin @sugusshi @roselleviennesstuff @queen-aria-things @hello0i @oopskashish @wolffmaiden @shakesqueer444 @julia-1901 @blkladyelle @marinarihearts @oikawas-toris @carlgrimm @zekeslefttit @rory-cakes @nomnom21 @noayuusukki @yukimaniac @the-jester-calamity @everytimeswift
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kendrene Ā· 1 year ago
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20. things you said that i wasnā€™t meant to hear + whichever ship your heart desires šŸ™ƒ
Ava coming home from the bar at the end of an afternoon shift, the village unusually quiet around her. Streets empty, the houses hunkered down, squatting almost, as rain-promising clouds roll in from the north, bellies low, scraping the bottom of the valley.
A first drop of rain hits her shoulder. Cold, it sends chills down her spine. Ava is dressed for earlier heat. Tank top. Shorts. Second hand shoes that feel one step away from coming apart.
Hunching her shoulders, body curling around her prize. The croissants inside the paper bag are leftovers from the bakery - Ava got them half-price. The ones Beatrice loves, that she rarely allows them to get. They're on a budget. They need to save what they earn.
Ava thinks in part it's just excuses. Suspects that a big part of Bea, who is so efficient in taking care of her, doesn't know how to be nice to herself.
The stairs leading up to the apartment. Old and creaky, but after weeks of Beatrice teaching Ava how to move she doesn't make a sound. Ava sneaking in, pausing as Beatrice's voice drifts to her from their shared bedroom.
"I don't know how to protect her." Bea's tone is forcibly flat, tension crystallised, carefully trapped behind each word. "What I'm feeling for her-" Bea pausing. Ava unable breathe. "Yes Mother. I understand."
Heavy silence settling in. The conversation clearly ended. Then, another muted sound and Ava's stomach dropping at the understanding of what it is.
Beatrice is crying.
Ava wanting to be angry at Mother Superion for making Bea cry, angrier that she can't. It's because of her Beatrice is crying, and lashing out would mean letting her know that she heard. Letting her know that she, too, feels-
Stomping into the kitchen, she makes enough noise that Beatrice emerges from the bedroom in a hurry, a knife held in her hand. Her eyes, red and a touch puffy the only sign of her emotional distress.
"I brought snacks!" Ava reveals the croissants with a flourish. Puts on a smile she does not really feel. Beatrice opens her mouth, eyebrows drawn, and Ava hurries to add that she got the croissants on sale. They could have them for breakfast in the morning, or heat them up now. In the small toaster oven the last tenant left, the way Bea taught her to do so that the pastry doesn't go all floppy and wet.
Bea has taught her so many things.
The can do whatever she likes.
"I think we could have them now." Bea's smile, a little strained but there. Like glimpses of sunlight through quilted clouds after the rain. "I'll brew us some tea."
Things clicking in a different way. How they move around inside their tiny kitchen without jostling. Ava grabbing the plates stored in the cupboards over Bea's head. Beatrice reaching behind her for their stash of tea. There's little left, Ava notes, her mind stumbling over the smallest of details so that she doesn't have to think of what she heard.
Bea has feelings for her.
Bea likes her. Likes her back, likes her back, likes her back.
And later that night the bed being too small to contain their tired bodies and their shared secret. Ava making sense of the nightmares that wake Beatrice up. Of the nights when Bea doesn't come to bed at all, nights in which she sits by the window, keeps watch until dawn.
Afraid to fall asleep and wake up tangled, warm back against her front. The stretch of space between them a chasm. An intractable ocean. Their bodies obeying other laws - like hydrogen and oxygen the two of them a whole that can't be decomposed.
Beatrice stammering apologies in the light of morning. Ava waving them away. I know. She says by looks and touch alone. I feel it too.
I love you.
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stevenssacrab Ā· 1 year ago
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Pathetic
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Summary: Steven forgets a vital anniversary dinner, and a fight ensues, both of you saying things you'll regret, and when you truly learn what life is like without Steven, he returns
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Depressed reader, arguing, reader and Steven being very mean to each other
Word Count: 1.6k
a/n: First fic ever! Hope y'all like it, I worked very hard on it and overthought a lot of course lol. I'm open to suggestions on how I can improve, please be nice though I'm a sensitive girl, I will cry about it lmao
ā‹†*ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ:ā‹†*ļ½„ļ¾Ÿā˜¾ ā‹†*ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ:ā‹†*ļ½„ļ¾Ÿāœ§ ā‹†*ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ:ā‹†*ļ½„ļ¾Ÿ*
It started with something minor: Steven forgetting to put his clothes in the laundry basket, not putting his dishes back, or something as simple as not using a coaster on the coffee table. Usually, you would brush it off, but today was the breaking point; Steven had forgotten your anniversary dinner.
You waited for hours, but after a few hours, you knew he wasn't coming home anytime soon. After a certain point, you didn't see a reason to still be dressed, changing into one of Steven's hoodies, missing his calm scent. You decided to heat up some disappointing leftovers compared to the lovely dinner you thought you'd be enjoying by now; you were cleaning up the kitchen when you heard the front door open. Sighing deeply, preparing yourself for the argument you knew was coming.
Steven's heavy footsteps are heard sauntering towards the kitchen, each step making you more anxious than the last. He rounds the corner, not even meeting your eyes, just tossing his lunch back into the fridge.
"Well?" you said, clearly annoyed that he hadn't spoken a word since walking in.
"Well what Y/N?" he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, already at his wit's ends
You scoff, smiling in disbelief. "Honestly, Steven, do you even know what day it is today?" a not-so-subtle dig at his current mental state. Steven looks up at you pitifully, clearly not wanting to fight, but you're way past that. "Steven, we had dinner planned tonight," voice a little louder than intended. "Can't you just get your head on straight for one day and remember our plans?" you say, throwing your hand towel on the counter; you walk around the kitchen island, not breaking eye contact.
"Y/N, please, I don't wanna do this today; Donna was on my ass all day; I really can't do this right now."
"Steven you do this every time, anytime I want to talk to you, you never have time for me." throwing your hands up in frustration.
"Y/N" he says, warning you; he looks into your eyes with an intensity you've never seen before
"No Steven! Why do you alwa-"
"STOP!" he booms loudly, slamming his fist on the counter. "Do you ever stop!? It's never enough for you," he says, stepping closer to you, looking down at you, making you feel 2 inches tall. "Do you think you're the only one trying?" he says with venom laced in every word. "How about the little effort you put in, and I'm always the one in the wrong?" stepping even closer, slowly backing you into a corner.
You've never seen Steven this angry; he's usually so sweet, caring, and understanding; seeing him like this was terrifying.
"Stev-" you squealed out.
"NO Y/N! YOU LISTEN TO ME, ALRIGHT" he hissed out, eyes wide and body tense. "I've had enough; I'm never gonna be enough for you, am I?" he barked, lowering his head.
"I can't do this anymore; I'm done," he said quietly. He was looking down at the floor, avoiding your eyes once again.
"What?" you asked, afraid of the answer, reaching out your hands to hold him, but he only swats your hands away.
"I'm done; I can't do this anymore. You're pathetic," he declared, looking at you as if you were the scum of the earth.
"Wait, Steven, please just listen to me," you pleaded, following behind him as he headed out the door. "STEVEN!" you cried, tears rolling down your face.
Steven starts his car, ignoring your cries, pulling out of your driveway, tears threatening to boil over.
You just stood in the doorway, watching him drive away, in denial that this is happening. Could this really be the end? You think back to all the times you complained to Steven that he was never doing enough for you, that he never had time for you, accusing him of never loving you. You slowly close the door, knees finally giving out from under you, wondering how they've kept you up this long; you pull your knees to your chest, holding onto them for dear life. You let out a sob that you're positive your neighbors could hear, but that was the least of your worries.
You don't know when, but at some point, you went to bed; when you woke up, you had almost forgotten what had happened, and more tears filled your eyes at the thought of never seeing Steven again.
You reached for your phone, attempting to call Steven. It rang once and went straight to voicemail, "he's avoiding me," you admitted sadly. "Hey, this is Steven. You know what to do, later gators." You smiled at Steven's cute little phrase, recalling every time you ended a call with him. Mentally scolding yourself for letting something so beautiful go, someone who loved and cherished you wholeheartedly.
The past few days have been debilitating; everything reminds you of Steven; every thought leads back to Steven, and all roads lead back to Steven. Food has tasted bland, flavorless, and unpalatable; you stopped craving food after the first day, eating strictly for your survival and well-being. All the color has left the world, leaving everything dull and achromic; every conversation has been quick and compressed, not having the energy to carry out an entire conversation or participate in society. Everyone around you has noticed you're less cheerful than you used to be, and everyone has physically pointed it out to you.
"Hey, are you okay? You seem kinda down?" Or "Did something happen?"
It's been driving you crazy; yes, you know you're depressed. Why must everyone point it out as if you don't feel it yourself? It's made you very snappy at everyone, chewing out anyone who dares to ask; word got out that you and Steven broke up, then started the looks of pity. Any time you met anyone's eyesight, they would give you a glimpse of sympathy and a sad smile; you almost preferred them asking if you were okay over the pity smiles and whispered conversation when they think you're out of earshot.
Today was your day off. Luckily, on these days, you choose to lay in bed all day, looking at old photos of you and Steven and weeping when it all becomes too much.
You were lying in bed when you heard your doorbell ring; you groaned loudly and crawled out of bed; you sighed deeply, not mentally prepared to have a conversation with someone right now. You throw open the door, already annoyed at whoever is at your door; you look up and see Steven standing in front of you, not looking any better than you, to your surprise.
"Hey," he uttered, looking at the ground. "Can we talk?" he said, looking at you with pleading eyes. "Please," he says when you don't answer.
"Y-Yeah, come in," you utter, stepping back, feeling your heart beat out of your chest.
"Thank you," he said, walking up timidly, nodding his head shyly, stepping quickly, afraid you might change your mind; you're blinking your eyes to make sure he's actually in front of you and not hallucinating.
He sat on your gray couch, shifting every few seconds and running his sweaty palms on his pants, notably very uncomfortable. You walk around the sofa and sit in a loveseat across from him, afraid he'll leave if you get too close.
He clears his throat before speaking. "I-" he stutters out, not knowing where to begin; he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a piece of paper.
"Y/N, I know I've said some truly awful things to you, and I deeply regret what I've said; I feel awful how everything played out, and there were much better ways to redirect my emotions and not take them out on you. My actions are unforgivable, and I take full responsibility. In the future, instead of lashing out unfairly at you, I will do my best to communicate properly and not keep how I feel buried inside. I understand I can't fix everything, but if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for my mistakes and make things right." He said, voice cracking, and cleared his throat awkwardly, folding the paper and putting it into his back pocket.
You are stunned, not knowing what to say; you play with your fingers nervously.
"Oh, Steven," you say, gently grabbing his hands and moving next to him on the couch. Steven tightly grips your hands, scared you'll slip through his fingers.
"I feel like I should be apologizing to you, sweetie," you say softly, raising your hand to cup his cheek. Steven, smiling softly at the affectionate name, leans into your touch, gently grabbing your hand and kissing the palm. Your cheeks heated up slightly at the display of affection.
"I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am." You blinked away the tears. "I took you for granted, my love; I promise you as long as I live, I will treat you like the king you are," you say, looking deep into his dark brown eyes. Steven's eyes fill with tears; he pulls you into a tight hug, letting the emotion take over as he lets out a sob, hugging you tighter than before.
You caress Steven's back and let him cry. "I'm so sorry Y/N" he whimpered, body shaking violently.
"It's alright, my love." You pull back, meeting Steven's eyes.
Steven pulls you into a passionate kiss, holding onto you as if his life depended on it; you grip his shirt and pull him in to deepen the kiss, your heart beating out of your chest; you roam your hands on his chest and stomach, sliding your cold hands underneath Steven shirt. He gasps softly, pulling away from you.
"I love you Y/N" he says confidently, never being more sure in his life.
"I love you too Steven."
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vbecker10 Ā· 2 years ago
Note
On to my second request!
Pairing: Loki x Fem!Reader
Scene: One way or another, Loki is now part of the Avengers. Y/N isn't an agent at S.H.I.E.L.D., she works an ordinary job ( i.e. architect, consultant, or sales rep...etc.) but is friends/related to some agents.
Request: Y/N is set up on a fancy blind date to meet up with an agent her friend said was a perfect match for her and Loki is undercover for an intel gathering mission and needs a partner to look less suspicious. He's not her usual type, but she trusts her friend and decides to see it through. Could you please write about the two going through the blind date, she not realizing he is the wrong person until the end of the night. I'll leave the ending of whether or not they actuality end up dating or just stay friends up to you!
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The Blind Date? (Part 1 of 4)
Part 2 | Part 3 & 4 in progress
Pairing: Loki x female reader
Warnings: none...? Loki annoying Thor, a vague history of terrible dates, mentions of mob activity (I guess)... idk I'm hoping for a bit funny at first then fluff in the second or third part
Summary: Your friend sets you up on a blind date with someone she works with at SHIELD but you accidentally end up on a mission with Loki
POV: This goes back and forth between Y/N's perspective and Loki's (and if you don't like how I call it Y/N POV and Loki POV... I don't care lol we've all had this convo before and you know damn well what I mean so here goes)
A/N: @soubi001 I love this idea!! I really hope you like this, I'm so sorry it took such a long time and I'm sorry it seems to be getting really long so I'm making it a few parts šŸ’š thanks for listening to me ramble about this one @michelleleewise
Word Count:
Dividers by: @harlequin-hangout
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(Y/N POV)
"Oh come on, it'll be fun," Michelle urges but you shake your head then hide behind the flimsy plastic menu. "Don't you trust me?" she asks with a wide smile as she reaches across your other friend to tap on the back of your menu.
"Not even a little," you reply slowly in a serious tone.
She scoffs dramatically, leaning back in her chair as she holds her hand over her heart, "Wow Y/N, that really hurts." You stifle a laugh as she turns her attention to the woman sitting between you at the bar, "Can you believe her Jess?"
"Well... you don't exactly have a good track record with setting her up on blind dates," Jess answers, putting her menu down. Michelle rolls her eyes and she continues, "I mean, let's be honest, the last few guys you set her up with were-"
"Horrible," you finish her sentence, looking up from your menu.
"I was going to say not great, but horrible works," Jess agrees with a nod.
"Ugh," Michelle groans, clearly annoyed Jess sided with you on the subject. "Ok, so maybe there were a few duds here and there-"
"A few?" you ask quickly.
"I'll admit, Mark was definitely a jerk... and I guess I should have known Danny wouldn't be your type but they weren't all that bad. You have to give me some credit," Michelle says, not giving up.
"Let's see... Fred was an hour late with literally no excuse then he got annoyed when I didn't want to go to his place after. Kevin brought his cat to the restaurant in a backpack and talked to Mr. Pickles more than me. Derek kept eating off of my plate without asking and he took my leftovers. Toby was into all these weird conspiracy theories and thought Australia wasn't a real place-" you count each person on your fingers as Jess laughs hysterically at your string of terrible blind dates.
"I get it!" she practically yells, cutting you off before you can continue. "But seriously, this guy really is perfect for you. I promise."
"No. Absolutely not," you tell her, crossing your arms as you lean back in your chair. "You've set me up with enough weirdos. I'm not doing it."
"Just this last one," she pleads. "And if it doesn't work out, I'll never set you up with anyone ever again. Jess can be your witness."
You sigh and rub your eyes. "I'm not getting out of this am I?" you ask Jess.
She looks over at Michelle before answering than shakes her head, "Nope, doesn't look like it." She then adds, "Better you than me."
"Thanks," you say sarcastically. You can practically feel Michelle buzzing with nervous energy as you try to think of a way to avoid what is almost guaranteed to be another terrible blind date. After a few moments of silence you breath deeply then throw your hands up in defeat. "Fine... tell me what's so amazing about this guy," you tell her.
"Ok ok ok, so..." Michelle starts excitedly. "He's new to the city, he just moved here with his older brother a couple of months ago. He keeps to himself so he hasn't really made friends with anyone at work," she explains.
"Oh good, so he's anti-social," Jess comments and you can't hold back a laugh.
"What? No," she says then glares at Jess, "You're not helping."
"I wasn't trying to help," your friend smirks.
Michelle groans and looks directly at you, "Ignore her. He's not anti-social, I think he's just a bit on the quiet side. He reads a ton so you guys have that in common."
Jess interrupts again, "Unless he's into smut about fantasy characters I doubt they've read any of the same books recently."
"I read other stuff too," you respond, hitting her shoulder lightly but she raises an eyebrow at you.
"Can I continue?" Michelle asks and you both nod. "So he's super tall and he has a really sexy accent."
"Now those are two things you can definitely build a lasting relationship on," Jess comments and you cover your mouth with your hand to quiet your laughter.
Michelle clears her throat loudly and Jess avoids making eye contact with her. "Do I need to remind you that you are only engaged to Sebastian because I set you two up on a blind date two years ago?" Michelle asks Jess.
"No..." she answers sheepishly. "I'll be quiet."
"Good, now as I was saying..." Michelle's tone becomes excited again. "You're going to love him. Trust me."
You bite your lip then say, "Ok, I trust you. But if he's not totally amazing..."
"I'll never set you up with anyone ever again," she agrees to your terms with a smile. "I'll talk to him Monday at work to set it up."
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(LOKI POV)
"Ah, there you are, brother," Thor's loud voice echoes through the small library. You sigh deeply, setting your tea on the small table next to you. You mutter a greeting in response but don't look up from your book as you turn the page. "What are you reading?" he asks as he settles into one of the leather chairs across from you.
"A book," you reply, "You have heard of those I assume."
"You know that is not what I meant," he says, you can't help but smirk in response to his annoyed tone. After a brief pause, you finally tell him the title of your book and he nods although you know he has never heard of it.
You continue to read, assuming he will grow tired of you ignoring him but after several minutes your curiosity gets the better of you. "Is there something you need brother, or did you truly come to the library to watch me read?" you ask, your eyes still fixed to your book.
"Peter told me you asked him to delete the dating profile he had set up for you," he says.
"I did," you confirm as you turn the page again. "I do not see how this is any concern of yours."
"You only had it for a week," he states.
"That was six days longer than I required it," you reply.
"Did you match with someone that quickly?" he asks in surprise.
You shrug, you hadn't opened the app once after the boy had installed it for you, "No and I doubt I would have. I do not need a computer to solve a problem I do not have."
He sighs, "Loki, you cannot spend all of your free time alone, hiding in the library."
"I am not hiding," you look up finally, closing your book. "And I do not spend all of my free time here, sometimes I read in the park or my room."
He puts his hand over his face and groans. "You know we are going to be on Midgard for the foreseeable future, brother," he reminds you unnecessarily. "It is not good for you to be alone all of the time. How about I ask Jane if she knows anyone you could spend time with? We could even go on a double date, that might be fun."
"As thrilling as that sounds," you say as you roll your eyes. "I am perfectly fine alone. Thank you for your concern, now if you wouldn't mind," you open your book again and wave your hand towards the door.
Before he can respond, the door to the library opens and a SHIELD agent with a tablet enters. She only takes a few steps inside and says, "Captain Rogers needs you to report to the briefing room in fifteen minutes."
You smile to yourself, hoping this new mission will occupy your brother for at least a few days. Thor rubs his hands together and stands up but the agent shakes her head. Thor pauses and she says, "Oh, actually... it looks like this mission is for Loki. Sorry Thor, maybe next time."
You chuckle at the obvious disappointment on his face as you stand up, your book vanishing into your pocket dimension with a flick of your wrist. "Well brother, it looks as though this uninteresting little chat of ours will have to wait until I return," you smirk as you walk past him.
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(LOKI POV)
"Ok team," Stark says when everyone has taken their seats at the large oval table. "This is going to be strictly a recon mission. As most of you know the Sokovian mob has begun opening a large number of restaurants in Manhattan, Philadelphia and Boston. It's been confirmed that the majority of these establishments are being used as fronts for illegal gambling tournaments, money laundering and other criminal activities."
"Such a waste, cause the food is supposed to be really good," Barton says in a joking tone.
Natasha laughs while Rogers crosses his arms and gives Barton a disapproving look. Stark ignores the comment and continues, "Up until now we have been letting state and local law enforcement handle the mob as they normally would but there's been a new development that puts them on our radar. We just received intel that there is going to be a meeting between several members of the Sokovian mob family and two high ranking members of Hydra."
"That can't be anything good," Natasha says. "Does the intel give any details about what they might be meeting about?"
"No," Rogers answers. "That's why we need you and Laufeyson to go undercover as a couple on a date, so you can record their conversation." He opens a small metal case and continues, "You will also need to plant these four listening devices in various locations in the restaurant. Hill has mapped them out for you." You open the folder in front of you again, flipping to the floor plan of the restaurant. Hill added several notes and suggested locations for the devices.
"Since the goal of this mission is to plant the bugs, record their meeting and then get out without being noticed you'll both need to alter your appearance," Hill says to you and Natasha.
You stand up confidently, "That shouldn't be an issue." You hold your arms out slightly at your sides as a green glow surrounds you in a flash. "What do you think?" you ask, running your fingers through your unruly blonde curls. You adjust your dark rimmed glasses then roll up the sleeves on your deep blue sweater.
"Yea..." Stark says. "I'm not sure the professor look is quiet what we were talking about. You're still-"
"Incredibly handsome," you smirk.
"I was going to say tall," he rolls his eyes. "You only changed your hair and added glasses, you still look like you. Try becoming someone no one will notice."
"Ah, yes. One moment," you say then with a second flash of green your appearance changes again.
"Oh come on," Rogers says loudly. He throws his hands up and turns away from you then back quickly.
You look down at yourself and chuckle, you can't remember the last time you were this small. You crane your neck to look up at the Captain who is now almost a foot taller then you.
"What kind of game is this Laufeyson?" he asks.
You feign innocence, "I was merely following Stark's suggestion. I imagine very few people would turn their heads if I walked by as you, the pre-serum version of course."
Natasha and Barton try to contain their laughter while Stark steps between you and Rogers. "Very funny," he says sarcastically. "You get one more chance..." he warns and you nod, clearing your throat as a green glow surrounds you again.
"That's more like it," Hill says and Stark nods in agreement. You shrug, unimpressed with your current form. You reduced your usual height by nearly six inches, changed your hair color to light brown and shortened the length. Your features are different as well, your eyes becoming a dark brown, ensuring that you are completely unrecognizable.
"May I ask, what are your plans?" you turn your attention to the spy.
She smiles and takes a small device out of a pocket on her belt, placing it behind her ear. She taps the device and her face changes right before your eyes. "Its a Photostatic Veil, or Nano Mask depending on who you ask. They are nano-sized holographic cells that can change a person's features and even their voice," she explains in a flawless British accent.
"Impressive," you say with a slight nod as she turns it off. After an hour of discussing the minor details of the mission, you finally head back to your room to finish your book in peace.
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(Y/N POV)
You close the door to your apartment and kick off your shoes then you walk quickly into your kitchen to set your grocery bags on the counter. You reach into your pocket and answer your phone.
"Hi Y/N," the voice on the other end greets you happily.
"Hey Michelle," you reply. You hold the phone against your ear with your shoulder as you begin to unload the groceries. "How's it going?"
"Fantastic," she says and you can tell by her voice that the date is on. "So... I talked to him at lunch today and he is definitely looking forward to seeing you this weekend."
"Great," you tell her, trying to sound enthusiastic. Maybe this wouldn't be a complete disaster like all the others, you think hopefully.
"He said he wants to try one of those new Sokovian restaurants," Michelle says. "I hear the food is amazing."
You laugh, "Me too. They seem to be all over the city all of a sudden."
"Perfect, so it's all set. This Saturday at 7, on the corner of 3rd Avenue and East 6th street," she says, pausing for a moment before adding, "Write it down, so you don't forget."
"I'm not going to forget," you mumble as you roll your eyes.
"I can practically hear you rolling your eyes at me. Look, we both know you have the memory of a goldfish. Write it down," she jokes but you know better then to argue with her.
You grab a pad and pen from one of the drawers in your kitchen and write down the time and address. "There, I made a note," you tell her. You tear off the piece of paper dramatically so she can hear it over the phone then stick it to your fridge with a magnet.
"Good," she laughs.
"So..." you pause. "Does the mystery man have a name?"
"He does," she answers.
"Do I have to guess it?" you ask.
"I'm not telling you," she says, "The last time I told you a guys name before a date, you googled him so much you could have written his biography."
"That's fair, I guess," you admit.
"Oh, I've got to go," she says, you can hear her dogs barking in the background. "I'll text you later."
"Ok, bye," you say just before she hangs up. You put the last of the items in the fridge and check your note.
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(LOKI POV)
"Since Natasha got called away for a mission with Thor, you're going to need to find someone in the restaurant to use as cover. You'll be far less noticeable if you aren't sitting at the bar alone for hours. If you can, get a table as close to the targets as possible," Rogers instructs you.
"I doubt I'll have any issues finding a lovely young lady to spend my evening with," you respond as Hill hands you a small earpiece to use during the mission and the listening devices. After shifting into your undercover form, you straighten your tie and comb your hair with your fingers. Checking yourself in the small mirror you shrug, this is as good as you are going to look.
You reach for the door handle and Rogers stops you. "Remember Laufeyson, you're still on probation and this is officially your first solo mission. Stay on script and under the radar," he reminds you. "You don't want to give us any reason to reconsider the deal we made with Thor. Fury and Tony would have no issues sending you right back to Asgard if anything goes wrong."
You nod silently, not wanting to admit how well you understood the gravity of your current situation. You clear your throat then sarcastically say, "Its heartwarming to see how much confidence the team has in me."
"Just don't make us regret trusting you," he responds as you step out of the van.
Putting your hands in your coat pockets, you turn the corner from 6th Avenue onto West 3rd Street. The restaurant is visible roughly halfway down the street. When you step inside, you can see most of the tables full and the bar is crowded. The hostess walks over to you with a friendly smile and asks if you need a table.
"I'm actually supposed to be meeting a blind date here. Would it be alright if I checked to see if she was waiting for me at the bar?" you ask.
"Of course," the woman replies and you walk past her towards the back of the restaurant.
As you get closer you see several groups of friends, a few couples but only one woman sitting by herself. She is alternating between staring at her phone anxiously and looking around the room. Clearly she is waiting for someone, you think to yourself, but she is your best opportunity at the moment. You take a few more steps towards her and chuckle quietly as an idea quickly forms. You adjust your illusion so she will be the only one in the restaurant to see you as yourself and decide to go on a date, as your brother has so often suggested.
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(Y/N POV)
You hold your phone nervously, seeing a new text from Michelle letting you know he was at the restaurant. You look up, scanning the large space but you have no idea who you are looking for. Suddenly your heart stops when you see Loki walking towards you with a smile.
This can't be happening, you think to yourself. Michelle worked for SHIELD but you knew she barely interacted with the Avengers or even the agents. She was on the technical side, working at least ten floors below them in the Tower. He had to be your date though, you quickly reasoned. Just moved here with his brother... really tall... sexy accent, that all sounds like what little you knew of Loki.
You look down at your phone and text Michelle, "I found him." You slide it into your pocket and get up from the stool as Loki approaches you.
"Hello darling," he says smoothly.
"Hi, I'm Y/N," you introduce yourself with a smile. You feel your phone go off but without reading the message, you put it on silent.
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Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated šŸ’ššŸ’š
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skinny2tb Ā· 5 months ago
Text
ā‚¬d vent and life update:
Sooo... I'm really upset rn because I managed to fast for 5 days without anyone noticing and it felt GREAT. I mean it's kinda sad that my parents just simply don't care anymore. They used to encourage me while I was in recovery and actually getting better but oh well that's how it is sometimes I guess. I once weighed 43kg that's why I originally went into recovery and as I began to gain some weight back they just assumed my ā‚¬d was magically cured. But that just wasn't the case and here I am once again. Without anybody noticing or actually caring. Sadly my eating disĆørder is even worse this time and I'm feeling no will to live anymore.
Anyways, I'm thinking of another liquid fast right now because as I said I'm really upset that I just broke mine 20mins ago with some leftover noodles (230 + 55kcal for the cheese) and I'm freaking out atm because I'm afraid I'll gain weight after eating those. But I can't work out because my parents and their friends are downstairs and I don't want them to hear me doing some exercises. Although I know they probably wouldn't even care.
Lately I've been pretty busy studying (literally lol) because of my finals this and next week. I've already completed three out of four and I just have to pass the math test and honestly I'm shitting myself even thinking about it. But as for the others I'm pretty confident.
My hot guess:
ā€¢ english: 1-2
ā€¢ french: 1
ā€¢ german: 2-3
ā€¢ maths: 4?
Only thing I know is that this years final math exam will include exponential functions which I hate.
I also wanted to say hello to everybody new following me, just wanna let you know I do appreciate it<33
Btw I managed to book my first ever nail appointment for next week and I'm kind of excited?? Let me know if you guys have any cool design recommendations. So far I really fw acrylic, stiletto shape, classy french nails with some gems and tiny rhinestones..
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(not my pic btw)
Prom is also coming soon so ofc I'm hella nervous because I haven't fully opt which of my two dresses I'll wear but eitherway it's gonna be navy blue with sparkly details and an open back. And when I tried the dresses on infront of my mom I could clearly see the disbelief in her face of how thin I have gotten again. She didn't say anything tho. I just looove the feeling of clothes that have gotten too big on you and would slide down your body if you didn't use a belt or hairtie.
Yeah, also there's this cute guy in my class. Same age and we went to the same elementary school but back then we had nothing to do with each other. You're probably asking what that has to do with me. Well, at the beginning of the school year when I was the new girl in my class he asked me to go to prom with him and I agreed but now I'm scared, because I do know and everybody always tells me that he has a huge crush on me. But I just can't handle that much affection yk?? The dance course will also start in a few weeks and we both can't look each other in the eyes... Everytime I think about him I'm like what do you even like about meee, I mean why me when there's a bunch of other beautiful girls, right? But well, what can I say at least I pull? Seems like I got that shy rizz*~*
Don't get me wrong, I'm totally happy but at the same time I feel like I don't deserve this kind of love. He's so good looking too with his hazel eyes, big lips and dark brown hair, plus he's way taller than me. So literally my dream guy? I even got to see his abs and stuff when our class went on a trip to a water park. Since then I'm head over heels.. I catch him often secretly staring at me but as soon as I gaze in his direction he pretends to be busy doing other things, like sir I SAW THAT
Ugh, I'm sorry that was pretty much about my personal shit but also pretty much needed.
(Lastly I wanna say that you guys DESERVE recovery and if you feel like you or anybody you know might suffer from an eating disĆørder don't hesitate to see professional help. You're lovedā™”)
I'll probably post again in a minute cuz I'm bored rn and want to avoid a bĀ”nge.
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confoundedluna Ā· 2 years ago
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can't sleep and brain is on overload so i'm breaking out what is possibly a Controversial until dawn opinion
I don't believe Emily and Mike physically cheated on Matt and Jess with each other.
there's a Ton of evidence seemingly contradicting that, sure, but when you look at it it's Incredibly circumstantial and not the full story
Mike and Emily hugging after she tells Matt she's going to find Sam?
we never actually hear what they're talking about, it could have been a friendly greeting, or hell it could have been comforting because, y'know, IT'S THE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THEIR FRIENDS DISAPPEARING AND IT'S KINDA THEIR FAULT
if they were cheating, surely they'd kiss, rather than a pretty chaste hug? okay, sure, there's the risk of being caught, and Ash does of course see them, but I don't really see anything romantic in their body language (though that might be just me)
Emily getting all jealous and possessive and picking a fight with Jess in the lodge?
I don't think that's coming because her and Mike are secretly involved still, I call that Maybe some lingering romantic feelings from what was likely a shitty breakup and mostly bitterness that her best friend is dating her ex that just a year ago she was helping deter another girl from
the big kicker some people whip out is the unpopular dialogue choice when the fire tower is falling, if Matt saw them through the viewfinder, in which Emily basically admits to cheating, right?
except. she doesn't.
her voice in that scene is the biggest thing to me. most of the time, Emily is angry. aggressive. but in that scene, she knows she might die, she's Terrified, and her only hope of getting to safety is yelling at her insistently that she's cheating on him.
"Christ, Matt, we were just talking!" and 'I- I was confused!" and "Please... Matt, I'm sorry!" are her most important lines in that scene, and her delivery is Desperate. she basically whimpers before her stuttered "I", which makes sense. most of Matt's non-choice dialogue, of which there is admittedly very little, makes him sound like a peacekeeper, a mediator. the way he tries to placate Emily when they first arrive, or how he apologises to Ash after scaring her? not the aggressive, fight-starting guy the player can make him be.
so to be Screaming at her in a life or death situation? she knew there was no getting through to him, and she had to say what he wanted to hear if she had any chance of him getting her to safety
none of her words are an outright confession, just enough to Seem like one, and hopefully be apologetic enough that he'll save her so they can talk later, back on safe ground
the "confused" line I call back to 'Maybe lingering romantic feelings leftover from a recent shitty breakup', I haven't heard many cheating confessions so I don't know how many try the confusion justification, but I don't think it fits here
(also, confirmation needed, but on a video I watched of this fire tower scene, I saw a comment saying the devs confirmed she's lying here about actual physical cheating having happened? I don't have a source for that if it's true, but if anyone does that would be really cool and helpful)
and on Mike's part, I look to simply every single thing centred around Jess he did in the game. which was a Lot. they have such a great dynamic, he's clearly very devoted to her, desperate and broken and angry when she's taken and he can't save her, and I just don't see him cheating on her at all, not even with Emily.
so, yeah. while there might have been some emotional stuff left on Emily's end, which does make her kinda shitty since she's with Matt, I don't think they did anything physical while committed to other people like some think they did. Mike I think too devoted to Jess and probably unwilling to go back to Emily, probably associating the relationship with the twins' disappearing. Emily I think does genuinely care about Matt enough to not act on any possible leftover feelings, and this is speculation on my part but she probably wouldn't even if she's just using Matt as a Mike replacement because she's so bitter at Jess for 'stealing her man', but wouldn't want to do the same thing in return to her because she thinks she's better than that i.e better than Jess.
if y'all think differently, I'd love to hear why! or, if you agree with me, I'd still love to hear more! I love thinking about this kinda thing and hearing other people's perspectives
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croik Ā· 9 months ago
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I made it through Kane & Feels season 2!!!
I was warned that this season was a bit much, and I agree. The sound mixing in season 1 that I had some issues with was WAY worse in season 2, and knowing that at least some of it was intentional doesn't really make it better. I liked the premise, I liked the idea of the resolution. I don't think it came together as well as it needed to, to justify how strange and off-putting the beginning of the arc was. The resolution given to the characters leftover from season 1 was tacked on and unsatisfying.
BUTI loved Brutus and Lucifer to BITSES. I'm in season 3 now and it's so fucking charming. Not to vague on main but it's so refreshing to have a pair of protagonists who have a complicated relationship but still clearly not only care about each other, but seem to genuinely ENJOY each other as people, for the most part?? They have a strength of rapport that's really engaging. I'm closing in on the end, hoping for a satisfying conclusion.
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angelicgentleman Ā· 9 months ago
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It was true that Philip took care of his place. He put a lot of thought into decorating it and making it presentable, even though no one really visited. In a way, he was compensating for what he lacked as a kid. All he had known back home was poverty, often barely enough to eat. There wasn't anything he could have done about it back then, as he was only a child. Moving to South Park was only slightly better, so once he finally got to live on his own, he finally had control over how things were. Pip was proud of how much he had accomplished, even if he still led a mostly modest life.
"Thank you, Tweek. I'm glad you like it." he said honestly. It was the first compliment he had heard about his home. Tweek was the first one to actually come inside and see the place for what it was.
When Tweek mentioned tea, Pip instantly perked up, glad that the subject was picked up again. It was one of his favourites, clearly. "Well, we can get right to it then." he offered, leading Tweek towards the kitchen. It was small, but it seemed to be the coziest room at his place. It was clean as every other room was, but it was also filled with all sorts of things; there was a corkboard on the wall, filled with a few to-do lists and recipes pinned to it. The recipes seemed to all have underlined the amount of time it's needed to cook; just a small indication that Pip wasn't all that much of a cook himself. He was better with baking.
"You know, it all comes down to owning a kettle. I never would have imagined that people don't use kettles to make tea in America." he mentions, half serious. The truth was, he could barely understand how one could use a microwave to make tea. Absolute rubbish, if you ask him. "Of course, it can be a teapot or even a pot and a stove will do." he mentions, smiling at him as he fills the kettle up with water and then proceeds to set it to boil "Now, different kinds of tea need different temperatures and steeping times, you know. I mostly drink different blends of black teas and it's probably the easiest to make." He explains, preparing everything.
Philip pulled out a tea set and a few jars. Each jar was filled with a different kind of black tea blend, both in teabags and loose leaves. "People might tell you that loose-leaf tea is better. They're usually right, they are much better quality. Teabags are, well, leftovers of loose-leaf." Pip says, opening one of the jars "But I don't find teabags much worse myself." It was clear that he could go on and on about tea, Tweek would have to stop him.
"What kind of tea do you prefer? I have all sorts of types and blends."
Pipā€™s house was basically exactly what Tweek expected of it, well-lit and cozy, exuding that welcoming charm that had gotten the man shat on when they were in school together. Ā Yet, such places were a touch paradoxical in that the more inviting they were, the more hostile they felt to Tweek. Ā He could not easily make himself at home as Pip told him because as soon as he walked through the door, he was hit hard with how ill he belonged. Ā One day, he would have an apartment or something of his own, if he didnā€™t didnā€™t die first, and he wondered how long it would take for it to feel like somewhere he was supposed to be.
He looked up at the white ceiling and then around the walls Pip had a couple of paintings hanging up, mostly in soft blue tones, and they were hit by plenty of natural light leaking through translucent curtains. Ā The floor was clear, too, and the pewter carpet cleaned and vacuumed. Ā The last place Tweek lived, it had been hard to see the carpet under food wrappers and laundry and almost impossible to tell what color it was supposed to be, dust gray or mud brown or puke yellow Ā A decent sprawl of soft, clean floor shouldnā€™t have been as impressive as it was, but Tweek stood marveling at it for a long moment.
Then, he shuffled into the kitchen after Pip, arms crossed over him as if to keep from touching anything, like he was walking through a museum full of valuables. Ā There werenā€™t even dishes in the sink!
ā€œThis is a prettyā€”nnhā€”nice place,ā€ he said, rubbing his arms so that maybe they wouldnā€™t shake. Ā ā€œYou take care of itā€¦ā€ Ā Almost like Pip was constantly expecting guests, even if he didnā€™t get them.
Tweek figured he needed an excuse for why he was tailing Pip like a lost dog instead of making himself comfortable. Ā He smiled somewhat unsteadily and said, ā€œI want to see how you make your tea.ā€
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officialaemondtargaryen Ā· 2 years ago
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Age Of Consent [part nine]
Summary: Dustinā€™s older sister thinks Eddie Munson could be a bad influence on her younger brother due to their history. Can he change her mind?
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Henderson!Reader
Word Count: 1,708
What youā€™ll find in this series: big angst, wholesome fluff, sexual content, drug use, tobacco use, alcohol use, and a lot of profanity. This is a slow burn- buckle up, buttercup.
A/N: Internal screaming for y'all to read this one.
Read Part Eight
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It had been three weeks.
For the most part, your life had seemingly fallen back into place.
One of the girls from work was on maternity leave, so you were picking up all of her shifts to make some extra cash and keep yourself busy. It had helped somewhat in keeping Eddie off of your mind. It took Dustin a few days, but he eventually got the memo that under no circumstance did you even want to hear the name Eddie Munson ever again.
You had been hanging out with Robin and Steve more often, which was nice. The best part was that, with them, you didn't even need to remind them to not ask about it- they just knew. Despite the fact that you weren't big on having company other than yourself, you really had begun looking forward to movie night with them, and sometimes after work you would all grab pizza from Antonio's.
"Y/N!" You heard your boss call from behind the counter. "Phone call on line one!"
You furrowed your brows and sat down your price gun before heading over to the cash registers.
"Hello?" You asked, answering the phone.
"Do you think you could give me and Mike a ride home tonight?"
"Dustin," you replied flatly. It was Thursday, the typical day for a certain after-school activity. "I know what you're doing, I'm not stupid."
"I'm not doing anything, Y/N," he replied. "Mom has bingo tonight, Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler are taking Holly to the movies, we asked Steve but he's working, and Nancy said no. We've asked everyone, come on, please!"
"Okay, I'll come and pick you dweebs up. But, listen to me very clearly, Dustin, I don't care what your precious little Dungeon Master says, you are in my car by 8:00 PM or I will dethrone him, do you understand me?"
"Yep, totally understand, thanks sis!"
You heard the phone click and rolled your eyes before placing the phone back on the hook. You sighed, knowing that you should just make them walk or bike home, but it was cold and it had been raining all day. Your mother would never forgive you if precious Dustin got sick because you forced him to find his own way home in the rain.
By the time you got home, your mother was already gone to bingo. There was a note on the refrigerator reminding you that there were leftovers and that she would be home by 9:00. You pulled the cold dish of lasagna out of the fridge and cut yourself a small piece before placing it into the microwave. It was only a few minutes past 5:00, which meant you had a few hours to kill.
Around 8:00, you went ahead and left for the school, just in case the club had conceded earlier than normal- you didn't want to leave those little shits out in the rain without a ride. Parked under a street lamp in the parking lot of Hawkins High, you waited, getting through a few chapters of your novel.
When the clock hit nine, you closed your book and tossed it up on the dashboard. You craned your neck to look over at the double doors, fingers impatiently tapping on the steering wheel as you did not see any nerdy kids exiting the building.
"Five more minutes," you whispered to yourself wanting to be fair.
But five minutes came and went, then ten, then twenty.
You threw open the car door and slammed it shut behind you; annoyed, pissed, and ready to cause a fucking scene. You rounded the corners of the hallways, damp shoes squeaking with each step you took towards that God-forsaken classroom.
"Alright you fuckin' losers, let's go." You came through the door only to be met with silence. The room was empty, save for Eddie who was sitting on top of the table where he usually had the game set up. "Where's Dustin and Mike?"
"They got a ride with Lucas after school," he replied as he slid off of the table. You scoffed. Another set-up. "Look, can we please- just talk to me, hear me out."
"I don't want to talk to you, Eddie." You inhaled a sharp breath and exhaled slow. "I want to get over you."
"I was studying," was his reply.
"What?"
"I was studying," he repeated. "That day in the woods with Kelly. I was out there studying to get some peace and quiet. And yes, she wanted some pot for a party she was having, but I stopped bringing it with me." He was closing the gap between you. "I'm doing everything that I can to get out of here so that you and I-" he took your hands and placed them on his chest. "All I care about is being with you and not fucking it up again."
"Eddie," you said sternly as you pulled your hands back. "I don't care what you were doing. I knew this was a bad idea and I'm done playing this game. I just want to move on from this, okay?"
You turned and began to head out of the classroom but Eddie's voice stopped you. "But you can't move on, can you?"
No. Fuck.
You didn't answer, just stood there for a moment with your back to him before you had the courage to take a step out of the classroom. You didn't turn back to look at him, didn't say anything else, just left. Once again. Just like the first time you had seen him again after two years. And just like then, you should have never been here. If you had only listened to yourself the first time.
It was starting to rain again when you got to the parking lot. It wasn't pouring, but it was drizzling and your breath could be seen in the air. It was dark, the two dim street lamps didn't provide much light as you hurried to your car to not catch pneumonia.
"Hey!" You heard from behind you, the doors to the school slamming open. You stopped, just then reaching your car, and turned around, ready for another argument. "You know, the last few times that we were in this situation I just let you walk away, and last time I stood there in that fucking room and I told myself that I should go after you, and I didn't. I tell myself every time and every time I end up regretting it."
"Eddie, what are you-"
"I knew you were going to try-" He pointed a finger in your direction as he continued to stomp towards you. "I knew you were going to try and walk away. And why? It's because you expect me to just let you, isn't it?" He was closing in quickly and before you realized what was happening he was standing directly in front of you- hands on either side of your face. "Yeah, that's not happening this time."
He kissed you with all of the regrets that he had been holding in for two years. You could feel his heart like a hammer in his chest as he pulled you into him. Your lips and tongue moved in tandem, dancing with a partner they could never forget. No matter how hard you tried, there was no escaping that you loved him. You had always been in love with him.
Breathless, you pulled away; looking up at him with his doe eyes- hair damp from the drizzling rain, the water droplets illuminated in the light like a goddamn halo.
"I didn't come after you at graduation because I didn't deserve you," he said quietly. You went to speak but he continued. "No, I know I didn't. It's a goddamn fact. I was selfish. I pushed you away. But now? Fuck, if I wouldn't do anything for you. I mean, you say 'jump', and I'm- I'm nosediving off that goddamn cliff."
"And I meant what I said about counting the fucking days- every day- for two years. You were burned in my goddamn head. Everywhere I looked, you were there; sitting in the library, the hallway between classes, waiting for me at the picnic table outside of the fucking trailer." He stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose with a heavy sigh. "But you weren't there, you were just-" he tapped the side of his head. "In here."
"Now you- you gave me a chance to show you that I was different- that I wasn't the same, stupid kid." He said. "And I know I succeeded. You want to know how I know?" You raised an eyebrow. "Because you ran. You ran, and you did it because you're scared. You're so fucking scared of love. Well, guess what, sweetheart? So is everyone else! I'm standing here, scared shitless and still confessing my fucking love for you like some goddamn idiot."
"Eddie?"
"Yeah?" He said as he geared up for the disappointment.
"You're right."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"You're right," you said once again a little louder this time. "I love you."
"Hold on," a smile crept to his lips as he cupped his hand behind his ear. "Can you say that one more time, I'm hard of hearing- all those years playing in a metal band, you know." He joked.
"Eddie Munson," you announced loudly. "You are right and I fucking love you!"
"Oh, I knew that!" He was grinning ear to ear. "Did you guys know that?" He jokingly looked around at the empty parking lot. "Everyone knew that, babe."
You gave him a light shove, but he pulled you back into him just as quick; his lips enveloping yours once more.
"Just say it one more time," He asked softly.
"I love you."
"Oh," his lips mumbled against yours. "I don't mean to keep bringing up the past, but I'm pretty sure the last time I saw you, you said you were coming to visit your boyfriend for lunch." His smile was uncontainable.
"Yes," you rolled your eyes. "That is what I said, please don't make me regret it."
"Not a chance in the world, sweetheart." He replied with a sweet kiss. "You're mine for good now."
Tags (closed):
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sneezemonster15 Ā· 2 years ago
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One-sided hetero ships are ridiculously popular. Sasusaku, Naruhina, Eremika, Sanami... and some writers like the ones of first 3 have the nerve to make them canon while having them be one-sided. It would be tolerable if fandom agreed they make no sense. But these SS, NH, EM shippers fight and call others names when they point out their ships are one-sided. The rest that aren't canon twist the narrative to claim there are "hints". Btw, what do you think of eremika? I noticed many SS ship EM.
It's so sad people see so much appeal in these one sided ships. Like why would you ship a couple which is so clearly devoid of love? What's even the point? Except for the obvious ones. Self insert. It's just so masochistic.
I feel so fulfilled shipping SNS. They have so much love between the two of them, that extra is leftover for fans like me who feel so comforted and reassured with it. Like I am a very distrusting person. I wasn't earlier. But I have been for a long time. But if there's one thing I know I can always trust, no matter what, is that Sasuke and Naruto love each other and NOTHING, absolutely nothing in the world can change that. No matter which time period in whichever universe, wherever, those two will always always love each other. There's so much peace in that. It soothes me. I don't think I will ever be able to describe in words how they make me feel. Emotions in all sorts of ranges. But at the end of the day, I feel at peace thinking of them. It's therapeutic. I am so very grateful to Kishi to have given me them and their bond. I have felt damaged for a long time... But it reassures me to know that if I can feel what they make me feel, I have a chance at getting better. And it has made me better in some way. I feel it already. I don't know what other people get from their ships. But I got something invaluable.
I didn't even know the meaning of shipping before joining this fandom. But this ship, my only ship, has given me more than I could have ever expected to have gotten. I am so glad to know that I have the ability to feel this much. I had almost forgotten how to...
What do I think about Eremika? I don't think much about it. The ending was so anticlimactic. Also Mikasa is a nice, strong gal but kinda boring. I don't ship them, neither do I think they shouldn't have ended up together. I wish there was more development between the two. But I didn't really care one way or the other. That's all.
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whaleofatjme1920 Ā· 3 years ago
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hc for enemies to lovers with masky pls šŸ™šŸ»šŸ™šŸ» - twilight anon
Enemies to Lovers with Masky
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When you first met Masky, he set you off with just a glance.
You were the runt of his group, and he wasn't going to be playing nice with you.
"I don't know how things worked between you and your previous group, seeing as I'm getting their leftovers, but here? Here you better get used to it." His gaze bores into you and you feel burned under its touch.
You narrow your eyes. "Whatever you say."
Masky doesn't like that tone.
And from then on the two of you become rivals!
Every day throughout your hazing process you are challenging this man and driving him up a wall.
You're perfectly obedient and helpful with Hoodie, Toby and Kate so they literally do not get it with you and Masky.
"What? They're doing a fine job," Kate shrugs as she pours some more strawberry lemonade for herself and Hoodie.
"Agree there," Hoodie nods. "Might be able to latch them off runt status faster than we did Kate," he finishes before taking a large swig of his drink.
Masky scoffs loudly. "Really? They've literally been nothing but trouble."
"Haven't seen it," Hoodie replies. "Maybe you're just not up to it?"
Kate giggles and nods her head slightly. "Yeah, you weren't exactly the gentlest with me when I first came here."
Masky really cannot believe what he is hearing how dare they doubt him? Becomes broody.
Toby is the exact same way. "T-They're pretty g-g-great, Masky. N-No idea what you're on about," he states with a small smile.
Masky is just 'wh-'
You literally give him a hard time about everything.
In turn? He gives you a hard time about stuff.
Suddenly you have to clean up more messes than usual.
You're the one being sent on pointless fetch quests.
It's a nightmare.
You confront Masky about it so many times.
He doesn't care.
This goes on for months in accordance with your hazing process, but then, things start to shift.
As you grow more into your own as a proxy and part of his group, Masky begins to lighten up on you bit by bit. He's still verbally condescending, biting and doesn't favor you, but at the same time, he's growing more and more protective over you.
"I told you to leave them alone, that's my runt, and my business."
Stuff like that.
And the longer and longer you stay with this group, the more Masky softens. Him warming up melts you as well.
Insults get softer and softer until they become something else.
Playful teasing and taunting, little glances, little smiles, all of that.
You find yourself being more and more moldable to Masky's words.
And in turn, he becomes more willing to listen to you in general.
The two of you are falling in love before you even realize it, and it's scary. Oh so scary.
The rest of your team notices it and it honestly becomes a bit of a joke between them as they watch the two of you interact.
"I thought t-t-they hated him?" Toby chuckles.
"We did too," Kate hums. "Clearly not anymore."
"When did that happen?" Hoodie asks, a brow raised and a knowing smirk to follow.
"Think Masky was always just a softie to begin with," Kate replies.
The other two men laugh.
You and Masky are still verbally teasing, but it's different. It's always ended in laughter and giggles.
You love each other but neither of you will say it.
And then the Operator says you're getting transferred back to your original group - they've missed you so much and you're finally ready for them again.
"What? I don't want to go-"
The Operator doesn't care, you're leaving in the morning.
Masky is distraught. Tries speaking to the Operator. He won't listen.
"You played your part well, and now they're where I need them."
and that's that.
you and Masky spend time together on the porch, watching the stars and listening to the cicadas and the crickets sing.
His hand takes yours into his, and he brings the back of it up to his lips before pressing a kiss.
You sigh, and rest your head on his shoulder.
"Masky, I-"
"Call me Tim," he murmurs, taking in your sweet scent.
"Tim, I love you."
His heart freezes.
"I love you too."
He hates to admit it
It makes letting go that much harder.
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abyssalzones Ā· 3 years ago
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tell me your calamity trio headcanons... please im begging šŸ’œ
Oh you are enabling me in TERRIBLE ways right now thank you so much. I'll try to keep this from getting long winded.
I'll start with the basics-- I've actually changed my mind a bit since I posted my other hc art about the characters and their personal styles, I was gonna draw something more up to date with what I meant but chronic fatigue is kicking my ass right now so Iā€™ll make something... later. For now you get words, enclosed under the cut for everyone elseā€™s sake.
Just to get this out of the way, Anne is a trans girl lesbian who uses she/her, Sasha is a transmasc-leaning lesbian who uses she/he, and Marcy is a transmasc lesbian who uses he/they. Whoops all lesbians yā€™know how it is. If I wanted to get specific I think Anne started transitioning in early middle school and her parents got her puberty blockers, while Marcy realized they were Genderweird in like 6th or 7th grade (so, semi-recently) but stayed closeted from everyone until amphibia. Sasha, meanwhile, was firmly under the impression she was cis until being in amphibia gave her more opportunities to think about how she Wants to present. He still likes "girly" clothes though I don't think that personal style would entirely go away.
ANYWAY UHHH let me just get through the other stuff quickly to avoid this getting too clogged:
ANNE
-She has ADHD for sure. Mixture of inattentive and hyperactive but mostly inattentive. This is related to how in canon she seems like the kind of B-student who fails on purpose a lot-- she just doesn't bother to try because she's already used to struggling in school and doesn't think reaching out will help.
-c-PTSD also. This one is obvious I just feel like it should be said. I think she'd ignore it or try her hardest to just will it to go away once she's back home-- I think especially right now she's in a lot of denial about her experiences in amphibia.
-At some point Anne talks about just pushing herself to just play harder when she's losing in tennis and I think that kind of says a lot about how scarily determined and competitive she can get. Sasha's the only person who can really keep up with her for this reason-- they both drive themselves into the ground when they have something to prove.
-On that note, I think she's gotten carpal tunnel at least once. Might turn into a reoccurring thing if she isn't careful.
-Clearly pretty athletic, as well as fairly lanky, but still a little shorter than Sasha and probably will continue to be a little shorter than Sasha for the rest of her life.Ā 
-Anne is the only member of the group who is good at self care. Sasha varies wildly between periods of treating herself and ignoring base needs like, eating real food. Marcy is horrible at anything more than remembering to shower once or twice a week.
-...So even if pre-amphibia Anne couldn't be called responsible, she looked out for them a bit. Sasha probably resented her attempts at making sure she was eating well-- just because Anne has parents who actually cook, who have an entire restaurant and would go out of their way to set aside leftovers for her (and Marcy.)
-Very warm-natured, having spent her entire life in Los Angeles. Even if Amphibia can get unbearably muggy and humid at times, itā€™s been mostly comfortable for her. Most air conditioning probably feels pretty weird for the first few weeks sheā€™s back on Earth.
-The only way I can figure she hasnā€™t gotten like, horribly sick from hanging out with human-sized frogs for so long is that she has a godly immune system or something. Viral diseases fear her.
-Anne is kind of scarily prepared for each situation, mostly due to her parents' and her friends' influence. This is based on her backpack when she came over to amphibia-- I know it was her birthday, but jesus christ that's a lot of seemingly arbitrary stuff to fit in your school backpack. A bath bomb, a swimming outfit with sandals, toothbrush and toothpaste, several magazines ?? I think it's likely that after a while she just started keeping extra supplies in her backpack for whenever she'd be going over to Marcy's or Sasha's place after school. Maybe one of them has a pool at their house?
-Similarly she has, like, at least 10 chap-sticks on hand at all times. Marcy keeps asking to use hers anyway.
-I can't decide if I think she'd lose a hand/arm because of the events of Amphibia in some way, but I do like the idea of her having burn scars. Not minor ones, either.
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SASHA
-This 13 year old can fit so many problems in his brain it's unreal. In my mind he has BPD but I don't think this necessarily has to do with all of his behavior-- it's just another thing that might explain Why he acts like that. (Also worth noting that I have BPD, so this is... partially based on experience.) In general I just want to see him learn to cope with it better not only for his sake but for others'.
-I don't know if she would pretend to like guys for the Social Points or not but I think she just wouldn't... care? Maybe Marcy or Anne have claimed to have crushes of the week but I just can't see her bothering. She could look at a guy and point out all the reasons why he might or might not be attractive but otherwise she wouldn't bother. Sasha might have a wide circle of friends and influence, but Anne and Marcy encompass what Matters to her, in her world.
-In the same vein she has had horrible jealousy problems and this is just canon. Goes about it in her own petty little teenager way, like prioritizing Anne or Marcy's input above whoever else they've invited along.
-Hair isnā€™t naturally blonde Iā€™ll die on this hill. Was born with dark hair but her mother dyed it when she was young and she just kind of kept up the tradition ever since. I like to think she lets her roots grow back in over time and keeps it dark post-amphibia. She also has dark brown eyes :]
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-Lives with his mom. His father is mostly responsible for paying his tuition. Not much else, though. I do not think he has a good relationship with his mom at all. Might be part of where his desire for control stems from-- witnessing an adult who can't put in the effort, can never control a situation, and deciding he had to be the strong one who would always step up, and do better. He always has something to prove.
-Has a bit more muscle tone than Anne, but could definitely afford to eat more, and more regularly. Very feast or famine.
-Sasha pushes himself in a lot of ways that aren't always seen. He can run on less sleep, go longer without breaks, lift more than his own weight, push through pain-- he takes pride in it, even when it's horrible for him. It proves in his mind that he's stronger than other people. He either doesn't understand that there are forms of self harm that are less "obvious," or doesn't want to. He'd hate the term anyway- just sounds like pity.
-I don't know if she'd actually want to go on T after amphibia or not, I think in a lot of ways she might be comfortable with a change of hair and pronouns and not care about much else. She likes "girly" stuff as well as a more masculine association, enjoys the personal freedom it gives her.
-I do think it'd be cool/interesting if her eye was injured during the events of amphibia, possibly during the fight with Core Marcy/Darcy? I like it better if she's actually half blinded though, so one eye is left completely non-functional. Wouldn't bother with an eyepatch.
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-Matt already said she owns a PS vita but I'm expanding on that by saying she loves fighting games. There have been many intense nights of mortal kombat and street fighter v. tekken between the girls where Marcy almost certainly wins but Sasha and Anne vie tooth and nail to be second place.
-Sasha's Mongolian/Ukrainian on her mother's side and German/American on her father's. Her mom's side of the family have been in the U.S for a few generations, though. She has little to no connection to any of her cultural ancestry I just think it's neat. Also I used to hc her with Japanese/Filipino origins like her voice actress and I still kinda like that but Matt said she has germanic/slavic heritage so I felt like getting different with it. I like either though :]Ā 
MARCY
-Just... a litany of mental health problems with very little done about it. Has had a general mixture of depression/anxiety for a long time but doesn't recognize it because it's not like he's apathetic. He feels very intensely about everything.
-Autistic for sure. Extremely passionate about all of their interests, but especially biological sciences (with their specialty being evolutionary science.) I also think they have dyspraxia, which would at least partially explain their history of accidental injuries and "clumsiness."
-I think before Amphibia it mightā€™ve been too minor to have much of an affect on their life (beyond not bothering much with gym or other physical activities) but Marcy has some form of chronic fatigue syndrome. Gets sore/worn out/all shaky and exhausted Way way sooner than either of their friends, which is only made worse by the whole... self-neglect thing
-Speaking of which, heā€™s always really struggled with base needs like hygiene or eating. Anne and Sasha have a long history of trying to show Marcy how to wash his faceĀ ā€˜properlyā€™ (or, yā€™know, at all) but it just never sticks/he doesnā€™t have the energy so it never gets done. Marcy combats acne by picking his skin and he doesnā€™t really care if he gets scars or not.Ā 
-Theyā€™ve been shorter than both Anne and Sasha for their whole life and the gap is going to get even wider between 13 and young adulthood. Probably never going to get taller than 5ā€²1.Ā 
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-Obviously I draw Marcy fat but I also think that while theyā€™re possessed by the Core, their health is neglected even further and they eat far less. Becomes a little emaciated from what a comfortable weight is for them because the Core drives the body regardless of what physical state itā€™s in-- it just has to be alive.Ā 
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-VERY into speedruns. Loves collecting information about weird speedruns and attempts their own. Probably has a small youtube channel thatā€™s a mixture of speedruns and critical media analysis over video game footage.
-I really like the idea of post-amphibia Marcy being disabled and using a wheelchair most of the time, I honestly wish it could be canon? I donā€™t know, I just think itā€™d be cool to have a disabled character be a member of the main cast. Specifically I think Andriasā€™ sword fucked up his spine real bad and the Core piloting his body meant they were pushing him beyond his physical limits. Might be able to walk with a cane sometimes but not for long.Ā 
-I think itā€™s pretty obvious theyā€™d suffer from some pretty severe PTSD after amphibia and might be mostly dependent on others for a little while. I think theyā€™d still want to go to college eventually though... theyā€™re a very determined scientist through and through :]Ā 
-Favorite game is the original MGS. Big otasune fan. That oneā€™s just for fun sorry.
Okay I lied that got really long-winded. In summary: I am autistic and I like amphibia. I think about these 3 a lot.Ā 
As for closing thoughts I obviously like sashannarcy but Iā€™ll be honest Iā€™m happiest if it isnā€™t super simple. I think theyā€™ll always be very important in each othersā€™ lives and thatā€™s what matters most, even if itā€™s going to be a very rocky road to regaining their close relationship. Endgame is they all share a shitty apartment together while Marcy gets through college though.Ā 
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petruchio Ā· 3 years ago
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any headcanons or thoughts on the second quarter quell generation?
oooOOOh what a good question.
in general i feel like i don't really have specific headcanons or ideas about things in the books -- like when things come up i do like to speculate but i feel like i don't usually have something already prepared...
that said one thing i do like to imagine is that katniss' father and haymitch like at least knew each other. i don't really think they would have been friends (i feel like that would have come up) but i do like to think that they were kind of in the same orbit -- i mean they're similar in age and they both would've grown up in the same area until haymitch's games, so it's interesting to think about them as contrasts to each other
hmmm what else. i feel like peeta's dad and katniss' mom didn't ever date or anything. like i think they were kind of in a friend group with madge's mom and her aunt and they probably all hung out and he liked her but then she met katniss' dad and he was like oh ok nvm then, but he did always like her. i don't think it was that serious, just kind of a -- oh i always assumed we'd get together but then you found someone you really loved, that's a bummer.
also one thing i don't really have a personal thought about but i do wonder a lot about is like... how did katniss' parents meet?? i think i read a fanfic once where he was injured in the mines or hunting or something and she took care of him at the apothecary which i suppose makes sense, but it opens up a ton of questions that are just things i spend way too long thinking about. like: what is the function of the apothecary??? like is it for injured miners? in that case, the prices can't be too high right? but then -- we know from the books that katniss can't afford things at the bakery. so we kind of have to assume that things in town cost too much for people from the seam, so then we would have to think that things in the apothecary are too expensive for the miners. plus, since katniss' mother becomes kind of the healer for *the entire seam*, we can assume that the apothecary isn't meant for miners at all. in that case is it just like... medicine for the people in town? and this is where i get really stuck. because how can you sustain your economy when there's just not that many people who can afford your things?? like if people from the seam can't afford things in town, that would imply that the people in town are just selling things to other people in town. but there's not that many of them!! and they're not that rich anyway, which we know from peeta's comment about the stale bread (i mean that also just seems like good sense, but i digress -- peeta's family is one of the more well-off families in town, and they're literally not buying any of their food. they're trading with katniss for meat and eating their own leftovers for the rest. so like, who is keeping the town butcher in business?? it's clearly not peeta's family. like seriously who the fuck is buying peeta's cakes. i think about this all the time.)
this opens up one of my personal headcanons that i don't think is in the books nor do i think it should have been, but in my mind there's kind of a third class of people in twelve who are like, government/administrative workers, and they would actually be the highest class in d12, and that would make up the people who are actually buying the goods in town. obviously this isn't included in the books and i think that makes complete sense, because the dichotomy of town/seam is simplistic on purpose to make the metaphor and the social commentary work. but like in order to make their society make any sense in my head, i feel like there needs to be another class of people who are not actually trading their labor for goods (as in, peeta's class: bakers, tailors, cobblers, etc.) this upper class is trading their labor for money and exchanging that money for goods -- right??? (i'm not an economist guys.) and i mean i suppose you could also argue that the peacekeepers are the ones keeping them in business, but then we know from katniss that most of the peacekeepers hang out at the BLACK MARKET anyway, so they can't be spending all their money on peeta's cakes either. RIGHT??? who is buying those cakes you guys. WHO. that's why in my head there has to be another class that's even above the shopkeepers.
anywayyyy in my mind the stratification of class in d12 goes like: first the mayor and his family and the other political elite -> then the peacekeepers -> then my imagined admin/government workers (and maybe like? teachers? and people who work at the school?) -> then the shopkeepers in town -> then the miners/people from the seam. obviously from katniss' perspective we only kind of get mayor -> town -> seam, but i feel like having another class actually makes more sense on a realism scale (though it would actually kind of mess up the social commentary so again i do not think they should actually exist in the books)
that was a super long tangent BUT it actually does relate -- because in my mind, peeta's mom aspires to be a part of this third class, and she's resentful of the fact that she lives in town and still has to trade her labor for direct material goods. (does this make any sense?? it does to me.) not that this would excuse any of her behavior in the books, but that's just kind of what i imagine.
but again i get really stuck on katniss' parents meeting because like -- her father would have been pretty young, so was he already an accomplished hunter and he was trading with literally everyone in town? did she just hear him sing once and she was like that's it that guy is the one? why did she even hear him singing?? like did he just walk around singing all the time?? (in mockingjay it says that he walked up to the door of the bakery singing once -- so i guess he must have done that a lot -- but like how did he start hanging out with katniss' mom?? i don't have answers. i want to know what other people think honestly.)
ok well i'm just going to stop talking now because this is way too long already and no one is even going to read this far but i will say i have been kind of toying with the idea of writing something about the second qq generation, but the main thing that's stopping me is that i can't think of names for any of them and i don't want to just use epithets for an entire fanfic because i feel like that would get annoying. but i hate coming up with original names for thg fanfics because for me i feel like no matter what i come up with it sounds stupid. so that's my current state of mind on them lol.
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infinite-infinite-stars Ā· 2 years ago
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oooo oki okok. General 2, love 6 and 7, domestic life 10
Never done a ask before cuz I social anxiet
But the Captaineer brainrot is stronger than the anxiet
Amen to that, sweetie~. Captaineer brings us all together xP Thank you so much for the ask!
GENERAL: 2 - "Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?"
Y'know, after everything they've been through by the time they get together I don't think Yona would particularly care about having a something to point to as an "official first date"? Honestly, she'd be fine with just calling the first time they had lunch together in the ship's cafeteria after exchanging "I love you's" their first date xP
BUT let's be real, Mark is a total sap and you know he would absolutely insist on taking her out Properlyā„¢. And since it's clearly so important to him, Yona is more than happy to agree~.
She schedules a day off for the two of them as soon as she feels she can justify doing so (technically as Captain she can do it at any time, but neither she nor Mark are the type to shirk their duties). They're still in the early stages of settling the new planet, but the brunt of the hard work would be over by now, I think.
(The first time Yona led this colony-- before the time loops started and after Mark was lost to the vacuum of space-- she basically never took days off and was always trying to keep herself busy. Maybe her guilt over not being able to save Mark compelled her to be extra hands-on, in the hopes of preventing more tragic accidents like that. Or maybe she was just trying to distract herself from the loss of her right-hand-man. Either way, she's trying not to be that way this time around. She's trying to remember that she can rely on her crew as much as they rely on her.)
Anyway, the colony is bustling, but they haven't exactly worked their way up to restaurants and movie theaters yet, so Yona and Mark's options are a bit limited in terms of traditional date venues xP. They content themselves with a picnic basket, a blanket, and a quiet grassy hill with a nice view, and they have a lovely time~. Also Yona surprises Mark with flowers and he nearly cries.
LOVE: 6 - "Whoā€™s the big and little spoon?"
They alternate! :D
LOVE: 7 - "What are their favorite things to do together?"
Well, the majority of their time is spent doing their jobs, which does involve seeing a lot of each other, even if it's not really something they "do together" the way the question means. And they're around the rest of the crew a lot, too (I love the idea of the crew all hanging out together during their downtime and like, having a campfire or a game night or something~).
But this means they've basically gotta take snatches of one-on-one time whenever they can get it: a shared coffee break here, help with a minor repair there, exploring the environment of the new planet, etc. Most of their alone time comes in the evenings or early mornings, and is usually devoted to unwinding from a busy day (or getting ready for one), chit-chatting, and having a good cuddle~.
DOMESTIC LIFE: 10 - "Whoā€™s the better cook?"
Mark is. Yona... never really properly learned to cook. She knows how to use a microwave, and like, make a sandwich, and follow instructions on the back of a box in a pinch, but that's about it. I think she might try to get better once they settle into life on the new colony and she has more time on her hands though~.
Meanwhile, Mark's not unbelievable at cooking or anything, but he's pretty good? Heā€™s at least done it more often than Yona has. He likes it okay and I can see him having, like, a family recipe or two that he can whip out every now and then.
(Some of you might recall me saying that Yona spent some time as a nanny before joining the space force. No need to worry about the kids she looked after-- like I said, Yona knows how to make sandwiches, at least; plus there would often be leftovers in the fridge, or fruit she could cut up or something, and if all else fails? Order takeout.)
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