#the way my brain jumps from feeling so good about myself to believing I’m a gross swamp troll

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

..

[lqveharrington]

Many Kisses | M.M

summary: miles is just too cute and you can’t contain it anymore, him returning it back <3

pairing: earth 1610!miles morales x fem!reader

warnings: (not proof read !!) no use of y/n, fluff, loads of kissing, miles being an adorable person and great boyfriend in general, lmk if i missed any

a/n: my brain just thinks on a daily that miles is so cute that i wanna pocket him and keep him for myself, ALSO, i do truly believe miles would call his s/o cute names in spanish a lot because of his mother. (p.s. the other one-shot is under way !!)

————

You were beyond bored, scrolling through your phone to at least sufism the boredom Miles left you in. He was playing video games and you were curled up in his bed, not entirely sure why he invited you over in the first place.

You had changed into some of his clothes upon arriving, picking his oversized shirt and old shorts to feel more contented despite the lack of affection coming from your boyfriend.

“Miles?” You call out, turning to face his backside.

“Amor?” He responded back in his subtle flirty way.

You huff in amusement, pulling his blanket closer to yourself as the smell gave you comfort. “How much longer do you have?”

“Uh, I don’t know… It could be awhile. Why?” Miles leaned with the game, slightly jumping. “You good?”

“What? Yeah, m’just bored.” You smile at how he focused on the game, knowing that his tongue was poking out.

It was normal for Miles to put all his attention on one thing and still be so cute while doing so. Working on a school project, helping his mother cook, or simply sleeping next to you. But for you being the only one to enjoy his adorable face making and mannerisms, you felt like pocketing him up and keeping him for yourself.

You stared at him while he was gaming, but being too quiet brought Miles’ attention back on you.

“Mi vida?” Miles pushed away from his set up as the loading screen pulled up, spinning around to face you instead. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

You hum, pink dusting your cheeks. “Jus’ thinking.”

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” He take your hand and laced it with his. “Besides me of course.”

“Technically, nothing else.” You mumble, glancing away from him and down to your intertwined hands. “Your just so… I’m not too sure how to describe it. Like, ugh.”

“Like, ugh?” He raised his brows.

You click your tongue, “Like so cute, I guess is a word to describe it. I just wanna squeeze you so hard with a hug and never let go.”

“Cuteness aggression comin’ outta no where.” Miles’ pecks your hand. “Give me a sec.”

You shut your eyes as he lets go of your hand, sinking into the comfort of his bed. Only when you feel the weight shift on the bed do you open your eyes.

“What’re you doing, Miles? I thought you and Ganke had to game for a bit?” You question as he slots himself in between your legs, head resting on your shoulder.

“We did, but I realized that my amazing, cute girlfriend needed my attention.” He pecked some of your exposed shoulder, slowly making his way up. “You’re just so incredible, mi vida.”

You blink, feeling tired from the weight on you.

He continued to leave light kisses and kissed all over your face. Your forehead, cheeks, nose, anywhere accessible to him he would kiss. The one place you wanted a kiss he was purposely avoiding.

You give a joking pout, still patiently waiting for the kiss on your lips but still received none.

Miles left one last kiss on your forehead before laying back down, moving his body to lay on his side to face you.

Staring at his lips then back to his eyes, you sigh. “Miles?”

He hummed, keep his arms around your waist secure as your legs were tangled with his.

“I wanna kiss.”

“You got plenty of kisses.” He tried to hide his amusement, knowing you weren’t going to stop until you got a kiss on your lips.

“Yeah, I guess…” You bit your lip and think about your next move. “But you kinda missed a spot?”

“Where, mami?” Miles took one of his hand and brought it under your chin. He left a soft kiss to your cheek, “Here?”

You let a small smile slip through, “No…”

“You gotta tell me where, baby.” He rubbed the soft part of your check with his thumb. “Otherwise, I won’t know.”

“Here.” You pointed to your lips, his eyes following your movements.

He pulls you close to him, kissing you on the lips with his own soft ones, smiling into it when you quickly return the kiss. You cup his face, kissing him multiple times and giggling when he copies you.

“I love you so so so much.” You mumbled between kisses.

“I love you so much, more than you will ever know.” Miles says after giving you one last kiss and rests his forehead on yours. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

————

© lqveharrington — all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms.

[moonlight0934]

Joker Junior, Your Unreliable Narrator

Joker paces in front of Tim, who is unclear on what’s happening. 

“Oh, Junior.” 

Is he talking to me? That’s not my name, is it? I thought it was Tim. 

“Junior, Junior, Junior, you’re such a naughty little boy. Why did you break Daddy’s restraints?” 

Tim looks at where Joker is pointing. Joker is wearing a disapproving look as he directs Tim’s attention to a metal table with broken straps. 

“I did that?” Tim asks, his voice sounding off. Almost like it’s not supposed to sound that way. 

I sound so serious. I think I just need to lighten up a bit. 

Tim giggles. 

“I don’t know. I don’t remember doing that, but I’m sorry.” 

“Aw, it’s ok, Junior.” 

“My name isn’t Junior.” 

Joker’s eyes narrow, and some part of Tim knows that something is about to happen. That something is wrong. He ignores it though as he does with most of his fleeting thoughts. He can’t seem to grasp anything for more than a few seconds. 

“Do you mean that your name is Joker? You were named after your dad, so you’re Junior, and I’m Senior. Do you understand, or do you need more of your meds to help you understand?” 

“I think I understand, but I thought my name was Tim.” 

“Tim?” Joker sneers, his face twisting. 

Tim cocks his head to the side. 

“Is someone else Tim? Do I know him?” 

“I think you’re confused, Junior. I’ll get your meds, and then you can take a nap while Mommy makes dinner.” 

“Mom doesn’t like to cook?” 

Tim finds himself thinking of a woman with light brown hair, and blue eyes. 

“Of course your mother likes to cook. She loves to cook.” 

Tim finds himself nodding along though he’s not sure what he’s agreeing with. Joker walks to another table, and grabs a syringe. 

Man, I don’t like shots. 

Joker walks back over, and Tim flinches when Joker reaches for his arm. Joker slaps him across the face, knocking him to the ground. Then he roughly grabs Tim’s arm, and jams the needle into Tim’s skin. Tim feels everything float away quickly after that. 

Junior wakes up slowly. His head feels funny, and nothing really makes sense. 

Where are Mommy and Daddy? I don’t feel good. 

He sits up, realizing that he’s on the bed that’s nestled in the corner. Normally he sleeps on the table, and the bed is reserved for Mommy and Daddy. 

It must not be sleeping time. I’m so glad that they trust me to nap by myself without tying me down. 

Junior stands up, his legs feeling a little weak, but he pushes through it. 

I want to find Mommy. 

There’s a blonde woman in his head with white face makeup and wild eyes that gives him a soft smile. He wanders over to the door, it’s locked. So, he sits down on the floor to wait for his mommy to come back. However, it doesn’t take long for him to get bored. Junior jumps to his feet, then begins racing around, trying to find something to do. 

He finds some spare materials that are lying around, and then throws himself back down to work. He loses track of time quickly, for once not even wondering where the information that his brain is giving him came from. Joker and Harley come in after a while, and they both stop at the sight in front of them. 

“Daddy, Mommy, hi. I made something for you,” Junior says, jumping to his feet. 

He runs over, and holds out the makeshift bomb he just made. 

“Aw, Junior, you made us a bomb? That’s so nice, sweetie. Can you believe that we missed his first bomb?” Harley asks, elbowing Joker. 

“No, I can’t. That’s very thoughtful of you. We’re going to use this tonight.” He puts it to the side. “Now, Mommy and I made dinner together. Can we trust you to behave if we go eat dinner in a different room?” 

I haven’t been in any other rooms. Yes, this is awesome! 

“Of course you can, Daddy. I promise I won’t do anything you don’t give me permission to.” 

Harley smiles widely at Joker, then back at Junior. 

“Well, I’m glad that you’re having such a good day, baby. Daddy was worried, but your memory seems to be improving. You remember who you are, and who we are, right?” 

“Yep, I’m JJ, and you guys are my parents. My only parents.” 

I feel like I’ve heard this before, but why would I have any other parents? That’s so stupid. 

“Good. That’s my good little JJ.” 

Junior nods enthusiastically. 

“I think this means that he can get his hair done awake tomorrow night,” Joker says, sounding happy. 

Junior laughs, and the noise sounds just right to his ears. He doesn’t sound serious anymore. 

Well, I don’t need to be serious around my Mommy and Daddy. 

Harley takes Junior’s hand, and they walk out of the door. Junior’s eyes dart around, taking in everything even though it’s just a hallway. The hallway is crumbling concrete just like everything else, but Junior still takes everything in like it’s a castle. Joker opens up a door which leads to a very bright dining room. There’s a table that has a green table cloth, and the room itself is decorated for a party. 

“Woah, Daddy, this is so much color. The table looks like your hair.” 

Junior laughs again, but this time Joker joins in. 

Wow, I sound so much like my Daddy. That is so cool. Wait, do I want to sound like him? 

Junior turns back to Harley. 

“Thank you guys for making dinner.” 

“Any time, Pumpkin.” 

Harley sits him down on the left hand side of the head of the table. The plates are just paper plates, but Junior’s has a cute design drawn on it. 

“I drew that for you.” 

“Thank you, Mommy.” 

Harley beams at Junior, and he grins back. They end up talking about how exactly Junior put the bomb together over dinner. Eventually Harley takes Junior back to his room while Joker goes to get ready for their plans for the night. Harley tucks Junior into the actual bed. 

“We won’t be back tonight, but I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you, sugar.” 

Junior nods. “Thank you for loving me, Mommy.” 

Harley beams at him as she walks back out. Junior can hear her tell Joker, “I can barely bear to be away from him. I love him so much, and he’s turning out so well.” 

Junior smiles, letting his eyes fall closed. 

Tim wakes up wondering where he is. He’s alone, but there’s loud laughter coming closer to him. 

Wait, who is Tim? Oh, well it probably shouldn’t concern me. 

Junior stretches with a yawn. Joker and Harley walk in, holding hands. 

“How are you feeling today, Junior? Do you need more meds?” 

Junior shakes his head. “No, Daddy. I know exactly who I am, and what my life is like. I don’t need anything.” 

“Ok, well, that’s wonderful. You’re going to be helping Daddy put together a few toys for our nemesis. Do you know who that is?” 

“Batman, right?” 

“That’s right. Good job, Junior. Now tell your mother that you love her, and give her a hug before we get started.” 

“Good morning, Mommy. I love you,” Junior says, running over to hug Harley. 

She hugs him tightly before tilting his face up. “Can I do his makeup before you get started?” 

“Of course you can. I’ll get everything set up.” 

Junior follows Harley to the bathroom, and she starts putting makeup on his face. Tim wonders briefly why he trusts Harley Quinn to touch his face, but the thought is gone almost as soon as it shows up. 

“Are you alright, Junior? You looked apprehensive for a second.” 

Well that’s a big word for such a dumb bitch. 

“I’m fine, Mommy. Thank you for doing my makeup and making me look pretty.” 

“Aw, it’s no problem, baby.” 

Harley kisses the top of Junior’s head, then takes his hand to walk him back to the other room. 

Joker looks up when they walk in. “You look good, sonny boy.” 

Junior smiles at the compliment. “Thank you.” 

Stuff is scattered across the table, and Junior cocks his head. 

“This is for more bombs, right? Bigger ones, or lots of smaller ones. These are much better materials than the ones I had yesterday.” 

Joker nods. “I didn’t realize that you knew quite that much about bombs, but since you do, you can help me. Only with supervision of course.” 

They sit making bombs, Junior laughing at all of Joker’s stupid jokes. They spend almost the entire day making bombs. 

“Ok, you’re going to get a shower, and then we’re going to redye your hair,” Joker says after dinner. 

“Ok, do you guys need any help cleaning up?” 

Joker shakes his head. “No, your mother and I have that down. Just go.” 

Junior goes back to his room, grabs more clothes, and heads to the bathroom to shower. He finds himself tracing the scars across his abdomen after taking his shirt off. Joker comes to the bathroom a few minutes after Junior finishes his shower. 

“Are you done, son?” 

“Yes, Daddy. I’m done.” 

Joker walks in to find Junior with his arms folded tightly across his stomach. “Are you alright?” 

“Yes, but…” 

Harley steps into the doorway as well. 

“Why am I ugly?” Junior asks, his brow furrowed. 

“You’re not ugly, sugar. Why would you ask that?” 

Junior moves his arms to show off his scars. “I have a lot of ugly spots.” 

“Those aren’t ugly. They’re proof that you’re a good person. That you’ve fought off the people in the world that have tried to put you in a box. People that have tried to make you like everyone else. That you’ve fought against people like Batman who try to ruin everything good about you.” 

Junior looks down. “Ok, if you’re sure.” 

“I am. Now, let’s get your hair dyed.” 

It’s not a long process since it’s mostly just touching up his roots, but Junior feels happier when he sees that there’s no black roots poking out from between the green. 

“This is better,” Junior says with a nod. 

Joker and Harley put Junior to bed before heading out together. Junior is about to drift off when he hears Joker start talking again. 

“He’s turning out well, huh? This boy is going to be my ultimate revenge against Batman.” 

“Yeah, he’s turning out well. Our little Joker Junior,” Harley says happily. 

Junior wonders for a second what Joker means by revenge, but he doesn’t dwell on it too long. He lets himself drift off to sleep instead.

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

Heart of the Weave - chapter 26

Morning finally arises and boy am I glad that I can’t be exhausted. Sleep is still nice while immortal; a full night’s sleep gets my brain functioning fully. On top of that, if I sleep, I feel more powerful than before, which is well needed in these strange times. I turn over to face Gale, noticing him wide awake with Jenevelle in his arms. She notices me waking up, smiling and cooing as she becomes alert.

“Ah, my little baby. Such a happy girl,” I remark, admiring her. Gale chuckles and rolls his eyes as if that wasn’t a true statement. She could never be a handful.

“Mmm, not this morning. On top of her wanting a bottle super early, which she let me know with anger by the way, she had a massive blowout like you wouldn’t believe. I had to bathe her and then eventually bathe myself. I’m just glad you got your rest after last night.” I snuggle my head into his neck comfortably.

“Well, Mr. Dekarios, I’d be happy to stay here while you go kick some Bhaalspawn arse.” He laughs and shrugs his bare shoulders, placing our daughter on my chest. I know he had an eventful morning with her, but I honestly love that he didn’t complain.

“Let’s chat with our counterparts –”

“Friends,” I interrupt, giving him a smirk.

“Right. Then we can come up with a plan.” Well damn, this means we will either need to visit most of our friends by foot, or we can visit with Withers. So, we are going the easy route and summoning Withers because walking all over Waterdeep is the biggest of hassles. For the purpose of Jenevelle not getting terrified, we place her in her playpen in the living area for a few moments while we discuss important matters with him in the kitchen. Tara is keeping her company in the meantime.

Gale performs the summoning spell and Withers appears before our very eyes, which never fails to make me jump because it either takes him one minute to appear or ten minutes. Either way, his entry is startlesome.

“Ah, does thou need assistance? I assume companionship is what is desired.”

“Good to see you again, Withers. Yes, that is the matter we wanted to discuss with you,” Gale responds. “Can you have them come our way please?”

“I can, but please be advised that Jaheira has passed on and Minsc is in a grieving state over her unpredicted death.” My jaw drops hearing this devastating news over Jaheira. No. This can’t be. I’m just now hearing about this?

“Wait…how did she die?” I ask, my voice cracking as I’m holding back tears. “It can’t be.”

“The Bhaalists. Jaheira’s soul flies on and is as bright as the moonlight. She protected the ones she loved and told them to run. I can say no more on the matter.”

“The Bhaalists…got her?”

“Yes.” Gale and I are astonished at this horrible news I didn’t expect to hear today. And Minsc? Oh poor Minsc. His heart must be so shattered. “Shall I alert thy companions for your needs?”

“Yes please,” I murmur, my heart shattered, and a tear delicately rolling down my cheek. Gale pulls me in for a gentle hug, holding me close as I cry into his chest. “Not Jaheira.”

Withers comes back after roughly five minutes.

“Thy companions should arrive here soon. Death and danger lie ahead, but those strong enough to bear it can end the darkness of Bhaal.” Poof. He vanishes again, leaving behind a cloud of blue smoke.

“Well, it’s happening. Hopefully our little group would be willing to conquer this journey with us. I’m so sorry we had to hear such horrible news,” Gale says apologetically. “From what I gathered from that, she told her family to run. It was just her against these horrible people, if you can even call them that.”

“They’re far from human. They’re deranged monsters.”

What is causing these horrible cultists to go on a rampage like this all of a sudden? I assume Bhaal had plans for them since Orin is no longer in the picture. They feared her, they obeyed her. They knew they couldn’t compete. Now that she’s dead, it’s a battle to the death to take her spot. Their God is vile and I’ll never understand his charms.

Everyone arrives at the tower quicker than we expected. Well, mostly everyone – excluding Minsc and Lae’zel. We open the door and everyone comes inside to gather around the living area. We all pour ourselves a glass of wine as we get ready to discuss the next steps.

“The babies… What are we to do?” Shadowheart questions, holding her baby in her arms. She genuinely looks terrified, and understandably so. The same fear eats me alive like a virus.

“My dear, you should stay with Emmy. I’m a vampire after all, I have nothing to fear. I’ll get to thirst on these heinous, filthy Bhaalists like it’s a buffet. I can’t wait. Plus, I need you and the child safe.”

“On top of that, you’ll get to be with Jenevelle and I. I could use the company,” I add. She gasps in excitement and Astarion takes the baby from her so she can jump up and down.

“Okay, I’m sold.”

“Wow, that was easy. Normally it’s hard to convince–” Shadowheart glares at Astarion for a moment and he clears his throat. “I mean, I’m glad you’ll be staying, my love.” I feel much more comfortable at the idea of staying home with Jenevelle now if it means Shadowheart would stay. Some sort of adult conversation will at least keep my mind at ease.

“Wyll and I will ABSOLUTELY join! We have nothing to live for,” Karlach chimes in. Wyll raises his eyebrow and cocks his head at her in confusion, and I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing.

“Hey now!”

“Sorry, that came off much worse out loud than it did in my head.” I burst out in laughter, which caused me to snort, which I tried not to do but it caused another laughing fit. Astarion is giving me a petty look of judgment, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

“Alright, which one of you fools casted Tasha’s Hideous Laughter on this poor soul?” Astarion mutters. “Unbelievable.”

“Count me in as part of the team against these vile murderers,” Halsin comments. “May we restore peace once more and get justice for Jaheira.” Every single one of us holds up our wine glasses for a toast, and we all say simultaneously, “For Jaheira.” Both babies are lying on the rug on their bellies, trying to figure each other out. It’s so cute to see Jenevelle make her first friend, though Shadowheart and Astarion’s baby Asher will eventually age and ours will not. At least Asher is a half-elf, which means it might take him longer to age anyway.

“Well, when should we leave? I’ll need to pack some necessities for the adventure there,” Gale questions as he sits down on the sofa next to me. “I really hope we aren’t gone too long.” Sadness can be heard within his voice; it will be so hard for him to leave us.

“The sooner the better, before the already dire situations get much worse,” Astarion replies. “I just want to get this over with. And I suppose the less deaths around the world, the better. The old me would never say that.”

“So, tomorrow then? I’m with Astarion on this one,” Wyll chimes in. “For once.”

“Tomorrow it is then!”

I did not realize they’d all be leaving so soon, but I suppose it’s best they leave as soon as possible. Who knows how long Gale will be away from us and what sort of dangers they’ll run into? All I have to say is, thank the Gods he’s immortal otherwise I’d lose my shit.

“I’ll miss you,” I tell him as he wraps me in his warm embrace. He kisses my forehead as he holds me, hesitating on his next word. I know he’s just taking it all in.

“I’ll miss you too. Hopefully we won’t be gone terribly long.”

“You two are so fucking cute! It…makes me want to cry,” Karlach comments with a dramatic sniffle. “Sorry, I just love sappy shit like this.” Wyll wraps his arm around Karlach, laughing as he pulls her close and kisses the side of her head. “There it is. About time, Wyll.”

After everyone leaves, Gale packs his backpack with necessities needed for the dreaded adventure back to Baldur’s Gate and I decide to get dinner started. I just hope they can all at least get rid of the sick, monstrous fucks that are murdering everyone. I also keep hoping that Gale’s mother is alright. She’s older and fragile, I can’t imagine anything happening to her. While she lives in Waterdeep, I just know the cultists are bound to head here at any given time if they haven’t already.

We sat down at the table ready to eat dinner. Tara joins us, but basically licks her paws the whole time.

“I will do my best to protect our friends the best I can,” Gale mutters, taking a bite of venison. “I will do my damned best to get rid of the source of this catastrophe. After seeing the horrific influence Bhaal has on people, it makes me so glad I never chose godhood.”

“I agree completely. I can’t imagine you losing yourself for power like that. And you probably would have left me behind and we wouldn’t have the life we have now. I can’t fathom it.” We talk about it a lot, but it’s true. The influence a god has on people is terrifying. What if Bhaal was once a good person and turned to murder once he became a god?

It’s time for Jenevelle to go to sleep. I’m letting Gale feed her and prepare for her bed since he will leave early tomorrow morning.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” he mumbles to her as he gives her a bottle. “May you always stay so precious and sweet. I love you so very much. You are the greatest gift anyone could have ever given me.” He smiles down at her as she watches him speak. His soothing voice makes her eyes heavy and she looks as if she’s going to fall asleep in his arms.

[carmenized-onions]

I’m speechless (I have so much to say)

Your mind?! Your skills?!

I totally forgot that the fucking iconic freezer fight never happened in the first chapter because Tony/Inky/Chip/Best Repairwoman To Ever Live/ Baddest Bitch To Ever Exist/ etc got there just in time, so to see it HERE??? So fucking satisfying. It’s like a train wreck you can’t look away from and you managed to completely recreate that scene, only now it’s Tony’s heart breaking instead of Claire’s 😔

I also love the fact that it was the “You’re fucking nothing!” line that prompted Tony to intervene. The same thing Lee said to Michael 💔 (Fuck that guy)

And your characterization of Tony is honesty my favorite because it’s like Carmen says, she defends herself without being mean (even though he deserves to be locked in the freezer again AND the office just for good measure) and THAT makes Carmen’s words all the more vicious because she knows he’s spiraling about something, she’s trying to be compassionate, she’s trying her damn hardest to believe that he doesn’t mean it, but then he delivers the final blow to an open wound and yeah…he must mean it

Also, Richie ready to throw down with Carmen after he made Tony cry??? Sydney immediately comforting her??? Both them AND the staff ready to WALK??? Sweeps not knowing what the fuck is going on during his smoke break??? I love them all 💕

“No. Richie’s got it. You’ve gotta keep your kitchen in order.” The way I would say the same shit just to be petty 😊

Also, the Exec asking for her number??? ew

Jump scare fr, didn’t see that coming at all 😂

Carmen’s gonna have an aneurysm when he reads that

The parking lot scene between Tony and Richie was so cathartic. They grieved Michael’s death separately for so long, blaming themselves, and now they can grieve together 🥺

I once again fully support Tony’s decision to let the stray fur ball eat Carmen’s flowers AND to leave the black plate out to fend for itself 😊

And FINALLY, “I know you said I’d be a perfect match for your little brother…” I’m SOBBING. Carmen was out here thinking that Michael and Tony were a thing when all along his older brother was trying to play matchmaker 💔

I’m gonna need about 5 business days to recover

I’m also gonna be very disappointed when season 3 drops next week and I don’t see Chip pop up within the first couple of seconds. Like THIS is season 3. It’s canon. 💜💜💜

I feel bad not responding in order but I have to start with the end. Can I be so fr. Me too. LMAO. I HAVE R O T T E D MY BRAIN. I HAVE RUINED THE BEAR FOR MYSELF LMAOOOO. I'm gonna be watching in 6 fucking days going,,,, but,,, but toneee???? but chipp??? where chip!!?!?!?!!

So I'm glad other people also think this. Delights me. I am hoping that a bunch of plot points I did still happen in season 3, because some of writing this has genuinely been either me guessing or just wanting a fun thing to happen in S3 (I.e I think wedding catering ep would genuinely be so fucking fun. like terrible. but so fun)

ANYWAYYYSSSS Back to this chapter's thoughts.

Thank you sm for having sm to say because I love to hear it-- An analysis??? ooohhfhsdfhksdjfh i could. i could maybe die. Fuckin love when people DIG IN!!!

I don't remember if I always planned for this fight to lead with the freezer fight, but I do remember seeing like a gifset of the freezer fight, and going oh I can't just let this all go unsaid. It would be AN INJUSTICE to Carm/Rich to not let that air out. You gotta level a building to rebuild. And there's just something I think on like, a reader level/ me writing it of like-- Knowing when this was supposed to happen and where that really adds so much to reading it this time, because instead of a door between them it's fucking YOU!!! FUCK !!!!!!

YEEAAGGHHH!!!! (You will see why I cannot comment more on this point of Uncle Lee later. But Just know. YEEAHFKJDFHGKJDFHGFKJDFG!!!!!!!!!)

Every time people say they love Tony as a character, an angel gets it's wings. That's how it feels for me. But 100% it made that whole scene so much more brutal because she's trying to explain and trying to understand but that's simply not how any dynamic Carmen's ever been in has worked and so it's just making him wig out more. RAH!

The other thing, that I think is like, a golden rule in writing fights-- Or at least it's always been one for me-- The hardest hitting line will always be the one that the person hearing it thinks is true about themselves. Peoples princess? Sure. Don't work here? Ouch but okay. The one thing that haunts you every day that you blame yourself for and were just waiting for one person to affirm it for you? OH!!!! OH!!!! BABYYYYYYYYY!!!!

The aftermath with the kitchen was so tough for me to think out, because I was like-- I cannot have them fucking punch Carmen. Like we can't do that. But also like. Richie would do that. WOP WOP! But I eventually agreed with myself that he'd go with chewing him out BEFORE the punch, and thankfully Chip stopped him in time.

Syd was me, when my friends cry. The yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo-- came from an extremely real place. and that place is my mouth. I love The Bear and Tony's relationship, which is also what makes the I don't think anyone's my friend all the more heartbreaking, because everyone was on her side there. And she just cannot see that. SON OF A BITCH BROOOOO BROOOOO STOPPPPPP I'm the one writing it who am I telling to stop?

I-- With the petty line, bro,,,, I wanted to dig into hell so bad. I wanted to snatch that motherfucker's soul-- But I left it at your kitchen because it just wouldn't be in Tony's like,,,, energy? to do so?? Like she'd already been murdered at that point, so she couldn't turn on roast mode. my poor bird.

JUMP SCARE EXEC!!! There were actually surprise surprise whether you believe me or not, a lot of different ways his dinner could've went, and I'll probably share them in another ask down the line, but the one thing I felt pretty solid about is he would be into Tony. ew.

The parking lot scene really was everything for me tbh, I'd been waiting to write this chapter overall for some time, but that one like,,,, fuck i really adore these two and it's exactly like ya said, so very cathartic for them to finally get to be absolutely not over anything togetherrrr yknow?

And that's another vote for---Fuck it, poll,

As for Mikey Matchmaker,,,,, -- You know what, i'm gonna save this for after either the series is done or after chapter 13, pending. But remind me later that i need to tell you something about Mikey and ,,,,, fire???? Yeah. Tell me I need to tell you about that, after chapter 13 or so.

[tinyinvadr]

New chapter time!

Psychoborrower

Chapter 5

“So, what are you? Ah- sorry. That didn’t sound as rude in my head, but, um…”

There was really no point in hiding anything anymore. He’d not only seen me at that point, but I was riding on his shoulder. And if I didn’t answer, he’d likely just find other stupid questions to ask me.

“I’m a borrower. Basically, we’re tiny humans. Heh… don’t tell my parents I said that, though. They hate humans. Actually, yeah, if you ever run into them, don’t talk to them at all. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Got it. I’m guessing you’re breaking a bunch of rules just by being here, huh?”

I chuckled. “Oh yeah. Used my psychic powers, ran away from home, interacted with humans… Y’know, all this time I’ve been telling myself that if I became a Psychonaut, my parents would finally accept me. But now that I think about it, they’ll probably be pissed beyond belief if they ever see me again.”

Raz went quiet for a minute as he continued to walk towards the lake. I had a feeling it had something to do with his dad. He didn’t have much time left at camp, from the sound of it. And with this whole evil plot going on, there was even less time to squeeze in everything he wanted to learn.

“I’m sorry you can’t stay longer. And that I was so hard on you before.”

“Huh? Oh, don’t worry about that. And… I’ll figure something out with my Dad. I’m not sure what yet, but… I’ll think of something.”

When we got to the lake, I had to hide myself in the collar of his turtleneck sweater. I would’ve turned invisible, but I’m not able to hold it long, and it takes a minute to recharge, so I couldn’t risk being seen. Especially not with Bobby still lurking around, looking for kids to bully. At least, that’s what we thought at first.

Like Dogen, he was brainless. Walking around like a zombie and droning out “TV…” over and over.

Is it wrong to say it might not be such a terrible thing for Bobby to be brainless?

After he left, Raz met up with Lili. She had additional information, such as Milla leaving in a hurry like Sasha did, and transmissions over the camp loudspeakers from Oleander, mumbling about his plans in his sleep.

From the sound of it, we were the only ones left who could do anything. Besides Ford, all the adults were gone, and all the other kids were already de-brained.

It was up to us. This truly was our first Psychonauts mission.

And for some reason, Lili really wanted to make out with Raz.

It’s a part of camp culture that everyone wants a romantic summer fling, so it didn’t surprise me, but this was not the time to be talking about it. I also didn’t wanna be this close to Raz while he was kissing her. It’s just gross.

If you can believe it, something even worse than those two kissing ended up happening.

A giant fish monster jumped out of the bushes, grabbed Lili with its lure, and pushed Raz to the ground, sending me tumbling a couple inches away.

We were both shocked and terrified, but Lili wasn’t having it.

“Oh no, you did NOT just hit my boyfriend!”

Apparently the monster wasn’t one to take sass lightly, so its only response was to shove her into its mouth and stomp off into the lake.

Needless to say, witnessing that shook me to my core. All borrowers fear larger animals because they might try to eat us. It’s a valid fear for us, but it’s not something most humans have to worry about since there aren’t many larger creatures that they encounter on a regular basis. So to see something that posed such a threat to beings who always seemed invincible in my eyes…

“Flint? You there, buddy?”

I snapped out of my spiraling to see Raz hovering over me, waving his hand in front of my face.

“Y-Yeah, I’m good.”

He let out a relieved sigh and gently scooped me up.

“C’mon, we’ve gotta go save Lili. We can follow the monster in the bathysphere.”

He put me back on his shoulder and headed onto the dock. If I had the choice, I would’ve rather sat this one out. I was way too vulnerable in the physical world, and I couldn’t exactly fight well either. But I also didn’t want to be left alone on the beach in case that thing came back for me. Or, y’know, just a regular seagull or something.

I kept reminding myself as the bathysphere submerged that Raz was just as scared as I was. We were going to the bottom of the lake. If anything went wrong, there was a chance that he’d fall victim to his curse and die instantly.

When we reached the bottom, we entered a huge air bubble, allowing us to get out and continue on foot. All around us were the destroyed remains of various buildings. There was a whole town under the lake, reduced to ruins. The sight was haunting and eerie, but also strangely beautiful. The green glow of the coral and the water flowing around us outside the bubble gave the place an otherworldly feel.

After searching for a bit, we found the remains of a bell tower. It was mostly in tact, so with a pull of the rope, Raz was able to ring the bell and lure the monster right to us.

There was no way to get close enough to fight it, so we relied on smashing up crates of nails whenever it tried to swallow us. We were chased all over the lake’s floor, and it wasn’t until we led the beast to an oyster bed that we were finally able to defeat it.

Still, there was no sign of Lili.

According to Ford’s observations, the monster was once an ordinary lungfish, but it had been mutated. There were various lumps and implants all over its head. It seemed the creature had been modified into its current form so that it could be controlled and used to kidnap the campers for Oleander’s evil plan.

Never thought I’d feel bad for a big scary fish monster but here we are.

Ford suggested we try entering its mind to see if we could free it from his control, and it was then that I realized Raz took Sasha’s psycho-portal.

“Did you seriously steal that?”

“I’m gonna give it back to him! Besides, we’ll need it to find Lili and the others.”

With a swift throw, the portal locked onto the monster’s head, and the gateway was open. The only minds I’d ever entered were the counselors, so I had no idea what to expect.

Definitely didn’t expect Raz and I to project into a miniature city populated entirely by lungfish.

The citizens screamed out in terror and ran when we appeared, and who could blame them? We towered over their buildings. We were… monsters.

Oh. Oh wow. Ford wasn’t kidding when he said the lungfish was also afraid of us. Or, at least Raz. Probably not me.

“Huh. Looks like we’re on the same page for once on how weird this feels.”

“Hey, wait, why are you still projecting yourself like that?”

I crossed my arms. “Why would I choose to be small and weak if I don’t have to?”

“I don’t think you’re weak. I just… it doesn’t seem healthy to hold it for this long. I remember something similar happened in True Psychic Tales Issue #325-”

“Those are just comics.”

“Based on actual events!”

Our argument was interrupted by a nearby lungfish screaming in pain until he dropped dead.

“You killed him.”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“Then stop shouting!”

Another lungfish ran over to us and started jumping up and down to get our attention.

“Hey! Giant monsters! Over here! Your assistance is needed for the resistance!”

It turns out the implants manifested in the form of an alter ego of Coach Oleander, known as Kochamara. He ruled over the city and controlled everyone by sending out propaganda from the radio tower. It was his influence that made the lake monster kidnap all the campers.

A few civilians were planning to stage a rebellion and take back their home from Kochamara, but many of them had been imprisoned, so we were the perfect candidates to break them out of jail. And if we helped them, we’d be able to get answers on where Lili was taken.

Raz went ahead and smashed open the prison, earning the name “Goggalor” from the terrified citizens.

I was… frustrated, to say the least.

Why did HE get to be the cool giant monster who saves the town? I mean, I’ve been tiny all my life, don’t you think I’ve earned the chance to be giant just once?

That competitive streak in me reared its ugly head again, and I was overcome with the urge to one-up him.

I met up with the freed prisoners, who were all still singing Goggalor’s praises.

“Hello, citizens! I’m with him. We’re kind of a cool giant monster package deal. So, need anything else destroyed? Got a cool name for me?”

The lungfish looked at each other in awkward silence until one of them finally spoke up.

“Uh… your name is… Stompy? Yeah, Stompy. And we do need another one of our comrades freed, but he’s imprisoned on the other side of that tunnel-”

“Great, thanks for the tip!”

Maybe I was a tad overzealous. If I stuck around to listen, I would’ve known that the tunnel was equipped with deadly lasers. But I didn’t. So I walked straight through there, and was painfully zapped.

I was able to back out of the tunnel in time before I could lose a projection layer, but my focus was completely thrown off, making me revert to borrower form.

The surrounding lungfish saw this and took the opportunity to ambush me.

“Stompy has been weakened! Capture him and turn him over to Kochamara!”

I tried to fight them off, but I was greatly outnumbered. They dragged me off into an airplane, and I was locked in before I could escape.

As the plane took off, a broadcast with Coach Oleander’s voice came through on the radio.

“We’ve gotten word that Goggalor’s pathetic associate Stompy has just been compromised! He may seem harmless now, but citizens are advised to remain alert on the off-chance that Goggalor comes to his aid. Not that he would, of course, being the horrible monster that he is. Regardless, you can all rest assured that our volunteer navy will bring this destructive menace to justice! Kidnappingchildrenisgood.”

I made my way to the front of the plane, where two copilot lungfish were seated.

“Hey! Can’t you guys tell you’re being brainwashed?”

“You have the right to remain silent, Stompy. Anything you say can and will be held against you when Kochamara is pummeling you.”

“That doesn’t make any sen-”

“SILENCE!!!”

I spent the rest of the flight begrudgingly agreeing to their terms. I could only hope that Raz would rescue me sooner rather than later. And that he wouldn’t rub it in my face that he was right about me relying on my false projection too much.

Still, it was beyond frustrating that he expected me to be able to defend myself at my true size. I was useless. Far too weak to ever be a Psychonaut…

If Sasha and Milla really did know the truth about me all along, that had to be the reason they refused to let me join them. I was beyond qualified, but that didn’t matter. I would never be human.

It hurt. It really did. Why couldn’t they have just been upfront if they knew the entire time? It would’ve saved me so much trouble. I could’ve gone home, given up on my powers for good. But instead, I wasted all that time training for nothing. Ford said they wouldn’t turn me away, and I wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t help but feel like they already did a long time ago.

The plane landed on the small nearby island where the radio tower was stationed. I was escorted off by the pilots, where I was met with the towering Kochamara.

“Well, look what we have here.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, yeah, shut up.”

“But I have a proposition for you, Stompy. From one little guy to another…”

[married-2-the-music]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Only One Of (Supplemental)

A Disclaimer: I was planning, when I first started Tumblr, to be a lurker, but then I began an office job and needed something to listen to to keep myself occupied. And then, I started going through entire K-pop groups’ repertoires, album by album, and jotting down my thoughts. And then, I stumbled into K-pop tumblr and decided, you know what, there’s at least four people on this hell site who would read in depth rants about these discographies and at least five who wouldn’t read it and then get mad because it’s kind of our job as K-pop fans. My lukewarm takes should be taken with an entire silo of salt and the knowledge that this is completely for fun and occupying my very bored, very neurodivergent brain. All this to say, for the love of god, I’m a sleep-deprived student and I don’t have time for internet hate, so don’t kill me. With that being said, enjoy!

So, since I’ll probably be tackling some groups with large discographies, both now and in the future, I thought it’d be good to shine lights on some smaller groups and soloists who either aren’t as popular and/or have much smaller repertoires, so that’s what we’re doing today! These are going to be a lot more chill than my deep dives because they’re really more of a fun break than anything else.

Here are my credentials: I’d already been a fan of SHINee for a while before, but it was actually OnlyOneOf that helped me realize that I wasn’t just a girl group stan and SHINee weren’t just a one-off. I’m mainly a fan of their Underground Idol solos series so I’m looking forward to hearing more of their other titles and b-sides. Let’s do this!

OnlyOneOf debuted in 2019 with seven members: Love, Nine, Yoojung, Rie, KB, Junji, and Mill (Love left in 2021). They’re most known for their…concept in a way? Basically, for basing their music around queerness, while not stating their actual orientations. This is thorny territory, as k-pop is infamous for its shipping and fanservice-heavy culture, which we could argue about until we’re so blue in the face that we’d be mistaken for smurfs. Is it queerbaiting? Is it representation? I know what I believe, but is that “right”? I don’t know. Either way, it’s important to keep in mind (even as I’m going to praise them for the good work they’ve done) that what they’re doing is, at the end of the day, proving profitable.

We start off with Savanna, which has one hell of a music video intro. The song is more subdued than I’m used to from their later singles, but with a similar subject matter. It gives me Taemin vibes with its self-assured sexuality, but speaking of sexuality, what would later make them famous is basically non-existent here. I do like this song, especially the slowed-down reverb and distortion, but it’s not especially unique, and it didn’t have a lot of staying power with me. I love the drama of the visuals though—I’m a sucker for cathartically lighting things on fire. (For the FBI agents reading this, I promise that that was a joke.)

From the Dot Point Jump single, I enjoyed the chill soft-rock of Time Leap, which absolutely did have staying power for me and I added it to my playlist. I really liked that chorus, and by the end of the first one, I was in. I think their voices both blend better and feel more unique in this one than in the title, which is probably another reason I liked it so much. Blossom I enjoyed less but it reminded me more of what I’m used to from them.

Sage is up next, and again we have a really odd MV intro. A lot has changed since Savanna—now, the song has much more sing-talk, feels more disjointed in terms of when the tempo changes, and it has a greater focus on the cyberpunk citypop vibes than before. It also adds a greater sense of drama with the slight strings and the control in the voices. It took me a few listens but I like this one too, more than Savanna, and I can see how the singles are slowly shifting to become the OnlyOneOf they are today.

Line Sun Goodness is a pretty solid EP, and I enjoyed the whistling hook in Boss, the chill guitar in Desert, and the breathy layers of vocals in Only One Of Me (which was my favorite). However, the songs, despite the few quirks I mentioned before, sound very similar to each other. None of them are bad, but none of them stick out either.

Dora Maar goes even further in the direction that Sage began, with its harsh background clanging, its heavy use of percussion, and reliance on more intentional frying in the vocals. I wasn’t as big a fan of this one as Sage, to be honest, because I felt like it went from the calmer (yet still fried) parts to the harsher ones, and I got a bit of whiplash.

Angel was a song that I’d heard before, but I actually had no idea that it was by OnlyOneOf. It’s catchy from the outset, and has a self-aware humor that I could get behind. It’s also softer than their usual titles, and that little bit of vulnerability is a good balance for the flashier parts of their discography. That repeating rap in the pre-choruses caught me off-guard every time, I have to say, and by the time I’d gotten used to the new tempo, we were back to the usual. I have no idea why it's there, because it really didn’t have to be. I really liked Heartbreak Theatre from the single, because I love some drama and that piano was perfect.

A Song Of Ice & Fire pulses with a great energy, and I was nodding my head through the first verse. I was worried they’d go with the dreaded anti-drop chorus and they kind of did in the second half, but thankfully the rest of the chorus is quite strong. I liked this one, but I actually have the opposite comment I have on the rest of their songs, which is that I wish it carried through that great build up through the chorus, because they were almost there…but no. I didn’t have a hidden gem for this single.

Libido is the song that I think most people know from OnlyOneOf, and it’s obvious why: unlike many of their singles, it’s pretty unique. I was surprised that what they’re so known for started here and not before though. Between the choreo, the lyrics, and the music video, it definitely breaks the boundaries of what’s normal in k-pop. It’s a song I appreciate more than enjoy, I’ll be honest, but I do like the pre-choruses. I know the whole point is that the chorus comes out of nowhere, but it’s not for me. I admit though, the “girl I just wanna know” makes me cackle every time, because what girl? Where? There is not a girl within a 10 kilometer radius, folks. If we’re aiming for plausible deniability, that train left the station halfway through the first verse with whatever the hell Nine’s character was doing watching Love take a bath.

From Instinct (Part 1), my favorite was Instinct, because it has good drive and its vocals match perfectly with that distorted guitar instrumental in the background. It’s definitely not a combination I’ve heard before, but it works quite well. The other songs are similar to other b-sides from earlier, in my opinion.

Coy is calmer and more subdued than their usual singles as well, while still keeping the smooth sexuality that defines much of their work. I think it needs more of a show stopping moment, personally, but this isn’t a song for me. I don’t have a hidden gem from this single, but I did like Night Flight.

Skinz gave me a jumpscare right away, I admit it, with that scratching noise grating on my ears. It continues the queer themes from Libido. Unlike a lot of their other work, it doesn’t have enough of a balance between the harsh distortion and the gentler moments, because there really aren’t enough gentler moments for that to happen. It’s just not a pleasant experience on my ears, and not one I want to repeat either. OnlyOneOf has a lot of charisma but none of it carries through enough for this one, and quite frankly, I don’t like it. From the single, I think that Suit Dance would’ve made a better single with its well-flowing vocals and jazzier beat and I also liked Ultimate Bliss.

It’s nothing new for idols to release solo music while still part of a band, but Only One Of’s “Underground Idol” series is absolutely unique. The members were divided back into their branded pairs for this, and each pair told the story of a couple from two different perspectives. Yoojung and KB were the first in Begin and Be Free, Junji and Rie were the second in Be Mine and Because, and Mill and Nine were the last in Beat and Beyond. This series is both where I found them and where, at least to me, a discography that could have been seen as queerbaiting-for-profit becomes something that genuinely means so much to so many queer people, myself included.

Begin, fittingly, begins the solo series, and expertly captures the feeling of boredom expressed in the music video until, of course, we get the meet-cute and literal crash into each other that begins the relationship too. The song is a gentle, breathy city pop sound, and feels both hopeful and resigned (“when you’re free from prejudice, freedom will begin”), reaching a catharsis in its understated bridge (“It’s time, and I know it.”) as Yoojung’s character takes care of KB’s when he’s drunk. Never has a k-pop song title so fit a song, because it’s about so many different beginnings: the relationship, the freedom, and even the journey of coming out itself. I like this one.

Be Free is Begin’s other side, and starts where it left off. As befits the title and its character’s personality, it’s far more open from the beginning and knows what it wants right out of the gate (“Hey guess what?”), while also embracing a funkier, brighter sound that feels more joyful. The relationship continues, and the characters bond deeply in the space of a night (a very queer thing in and of itself), before they end up waking up together, shirtless. Genuinely, the first time I watched this, I was shocked that they were so open about it, despite the fact that nothing is shown, and it was this that began to change my mind on the subject of queerbaiting. The story shown here is given an open ending—we have no idea what happens after that one day—but the final line (“You never know, baby. One more time could make it right.”) seems to hint that it won’t end here. I like this one more than Begin, but it’s not my favorite.

Be Mine starts the second of the three stories, and, again fittingly to the title, feels softer and more romantic with its gentle piano as Junji’s character runs after Rie’s. This duo shows an established relationship between its characters as they have a summer romance that involves dancing, listening to music, cooking, and just spending time together. Its slow and settled melody isn’t for me, personally, and neither is its seemingly out-of-nowhere rap verse, but on the whole, the song is very sweet.

Because was actually the first song I’d heard by OnlyOneOf, since it was recommended to me about a week after it came out, and, as previously stated, changed my mind that I was only a girl group stan. I was surprised by it right out of the gate, and was soon won over by the quite convincing intimacy between its two characters, its quiet folding of paper cranes, and overall bluntness of its subject matter. The song is nostalgic and feels lived in, waffling between comforting and melancholy as the characters have a fight and go their separate ways while all their best memories replay, then reconnect many months later (though it’s left open whether they get back together). It’s genuinely quite touching; I wince when Junji’s character smacks the paper cranes off of the table and I hurt for Rie’s when he’s heartbroken. It was my favorite of their songs when I first watched it and it’s stayed that way since.

Beat marks the start of the third and last series, and sticks out from the rest of the songs in the solos with its harsh beat and most of the song is either sing-talk or outright rapping. Mill is the group’s rapper, so I do get it, but this one is just too grating for me. The video shows two students falling in love with each other while facing hinted-to-be-homophobically-motivated bullying and dealing with both the fear and the excitement of that love. The song does fit the video, I’ll give it that, perfectly connecting with the insecurity and genuine danger the characters face (“wanna tell them to beat it, beat up, beat out”), and the video ends with Nine’s character falling into Mill’s arms after getting beaten up.

Beyond is the last of the Underground Idol series, and rather than match the harshness of Beat, it goes the exact opposite way, and is quite an understated slow burn mixed with citypop that makes the most of Nine’s smooth and soothing vocals, meaning that I enjoyed this one much more. Its lyrics are quite lovely with how they mix floral imagery (“perhaps it’s withered; my heart is dried up, but you take root”), and openness (“Baby, I wanna make you mine”), and captures the head-over-heels feeling of first love quite well. These two videos don’t push boundaries in the same way as the first two sets do, only because they tell what is a quite well-trodden story rather than breaking new ground, but seeing the characters take care of each other is very sweet. The quiet, mutual moment of realization at the end where they’re lying next to each other and move to kiss feels very comfortable and honest.

The description box written for Beyond on their official YouTube channel states: “How did our music reach you, who are far away? How did our small melody crafted in Korea reach you, who are on the other side of the world? To all those lovers who do not feel like they’ve been given the blessing, we hope our music will comfort you and cheer you up. We hope you’ll dream the same dream as us.” Is it a little cheesy? Perhaps. But does it make me emotional? Absolutely. Does it still matter? Hell yes.

The thing that really felt meaningful to me was the mundanity with which the characters live their lives; they may face internalized or external homophobia, but what the solo series gets across so well is how normal and everyday these people are, no matter who they love. The best way I can explain it, as a queer person myself, is that it feels like another queer person wrote and planned these six songs. They feel very honest and self-reflective, and don’t try to tiptoe around their subject matter, which I really appreciate. Look, I’m not going to speculate on whether any of the members of OnlyOneOf are queer themselves, because I frankly can’t stress enough that unless one of them bursts through my window at 2 am with a megaphone and tells me to share it with the world, it was and remains none of my fucking business.

Seoul Drift is their latest comeback, and similarly to many of their other full-group singles, it’s not that fun to listen to. It follows Skinz; there isn’t really a break in the song, which normally I’d be a fan of, but here it just makes it feel overwhelming and unnecessarily harsh. I like the idea of it—the lyrics are pretty good and the whole idea of loneliness and the intensely fast pace of life in Seoul in the MV intrigues me—but the execution just doesn’t win me over.

From the album, Seoul Collection, Blue Blue Seoul stuck out to me. It’s breathy and soft, and it moves along with an inviting, almost warm feeling. It feels a lot like a song from their Underground Idol series, which is probably why I like it. I love the way the voices are layered and how the minimalistic background gives them a chance to grow.

OnlyOneOf have gained attention yet again this year, not only for their earlier comeback but for their participation in Bump Up Business, a short drama adaptation of a BL webtoon that stars Mill and Nine as two k-pop idols forced to do a “business gay partnership” (basically, act like they’re in a gay relationship with each other), who actually end up falling in love. You can see why this is causing a stir, when their whole concept already has people declaring it queerbaiting.

Personally, I honestly don’t know where I stand, because I do think that they do genuinely important, boundary-breaking work, but they also play into the queerbaiting and the lines between characters they play and the idols themselves are intentionally made smaller. I applaud them for acting in this and having the guts to actually kiss on screen, and despite how toothless the show is, I did watch it and go “aww” at several points.

I’m glad I did this! Even if I didn’t end up becoming a Lyon or a fan, I did still have fun with this, especially watching the series and the solos, and a couple interviews (which gave me some good laughs, so thanks guys). I also learned that Nine and KB are very involved with the writing and composing of OnlyOneOf’s music, which is something I really appreciate that happens to be quite rare in k-pop.

My top 5 songs from Only One Of are Because, Time Leap, Heartbreak Theatre, Be Free, and Beyond, with Only One Of Me as an honorable mention. Only One Of gets a 7.75 / 10 from me. To be honest, I’ve found that besides their Underground Idol series and a few odd b-sides, their music is mostly not for me. I do really appreciate the self-production, the important messages, and the experimental quality of a lot of their work, but at the end of the day, this is my blog and it comes down to personal preference.

Next time, we’ll be doing part two of the Red Velvet deep-dive and next week we’re restarting the one-group-a-week schedule with a boy group. Tschüss!

[a-queer-seminarian]

Oh, God. I just realized that the main obstacle to me getting ordained isn’t any of the many things I’ve been listing since graduating seminary in 2019.

It’s not that it’s too daunting to jump through all the hoops as a genderqueer, autistic person — though sure, that’s true enough. All the steps to ordination are designed to root out people like me — but I’ve already made it past most of them! And I’m lucky to have a CPM that is willing and even eager to ordain me!

It’s not my hesitation to formally enmesh myself into organized Christianity in this particular way — though again, that is part of it. There is part of me that winces at the thought of bearing a title that has done so much harm; but a larger part of me wants it, wants to reclaim it from that harm and use it for good. Likewise, I do enjoy my role on the periphery, and being able to hop around spiritual homes, and getting ordained could complicate that s bit, but I could make it work.

No. The main reason I’ve been dragging my heels after coming this far, and while having so many people in my corner: I don’t think I’m worthy.

I can’t imagine myself holding up the bread and wine and proclaiming it the body and blood of Christ and feeling like anything but a fraud. “Get away from the altar, who do you think you are!”

I can’t picture myself baptizing someone or declaring a couple married without feeling skeptical that it “counted.”

I can only imagine myself feeling like I’m playing pretend, dressing up as a priest when really I’m just…god, a silly little girl who has no right to wear a stole and claim to speak for God.

Ouch. The internalized misgendering is a punch in the gut — but that’s what’s in my brain.

The internalized ableism is also painfully clear in a way I can’t believe I’ve been repressing all this time: I’m almost 29 years old, but I feel like a little kid. I infantilize myself, all the time, because of how my autistic body moves and autistic mind thinks and the limitations of how much work I can make my autistic self do before I break down.

Regarding the feeling of not having a “right to speak for God”: The funny thing is my denomination doesn’t claim pastors “speak for God” except insofar as every human can! But my Catholic roots run deep, and not just into the nourishing stuff but the toxic stuff too. I’m acknowledging that more honestly lately since the whole Pentecost incident — that there are parts of my psyche that still haven’t unlearned the Catholic way of putting clergy on a pedestal. And of course I don’t measure up through that lens!

I don’t know how to unpack all this right now. I feel overwhelmed and startled that this has been stagnating here in my brain, weighing down my spirit, without me even realizing. Just naming it is a good start, but where do I go from here?

Whew. Holy crap. Even as I say that as if I want to untangle all this enough to finally get ordained, part of my brain rebels — “no, you’re right about being unworthy! You’re too childish, too unstable, too flawed! Don’t try to convince yourself otherwise!”

What a mess. When I was so sure I believed at a core level that pastors are not in some way “more holy” than anyone else; and also that there can and should and must be more than cishet abled men in clerical roles. How has all this crap been festering in my psyche this whole time??

I can’t help but laugh a little! How fascinating!

Lately I’ve been reflecting on and praying to Mary in her role as Untier of Knots. Well, Mother, here’s a whole tangled mess for you to help me pull apart! I certainly need the help.

[wool-f]

29 Lessons from 29 years of living 

Hello friends, 

I’ve spent a little while contemplating on whether or not to create a blog post for this but I figured there is no harm in it, and maybe someone will take something from this the way that I take lessons from other peoples’ confessions. 

I have spent 29 years on this earth so far and only very recently have I started writing myself letters on my birthday, listing all the things that I’ve learnt in the year prior. 

Like most other things I post about on this blog, I’ve made a YouTube video talking about this year’s list and the reasons behind each lesson, which you can watch here, but if you prefer to read through lists and come back to them later etc, like I often do, please continue reading and let me know in the comments if you are going to take on any of the lessons I’ve learnt myself, or if you’re going to start making your own list! I’d love to hear your lessons. 

29 Lessons from 29 years of living: 

1. I am truly capable of creating any life or manifesting any opportunity I want. 

2. I should take as good care of my health as possible. 

3. Always try to learn something from any given situation. 

4. Sometimes, things are just shit and can’t be turned into a learning experience. 

5. Not all friendships are meant to last, no matter how badly you want them to. 

6. Let go of people who make you feel like shit. 

7. Don’t lower your standards - let the good people come to you, they will. 

8. Trust you intuition! It never ever misses. 

9. Read the book, watch the movie and rest when you need it. Enjoyment isn’t always productive. 

10.  Never get tired of going to things by yourself - that’s when you have the most fun.

11. Drink water - as much as you can. 

12. Always wear sunscreen - it’s the reason people are looking younger and younger! 

13. Journalling helps your mental health - keep this habit up. 

14. Moving your body at least once a day and preferably in the morning makes you so much happier. 

15. Keep trying to learn that second or third language - your brain works better because of it. 

16. You are lucky - even when you don’t feel like it. 

17. One walk a day is an act of rebellion against productivity and capitalism! (Read Sarah Wilson’s This one wild and precious life to understand this one) 

18. Look around you - take stock of the beautiful world we are in - look up from your phone!! 

19. Don’t get caught up in what other people think of you - if you’re happy and not hurting anyone, fuck what anyone else thinks. 

20. Some people don’t deserve your forgiveness, your time or your energy. 

21. The love you’ve given others they they haven’t returned is never wasted. 

22. Believe that love is out there - you give it to yourself everyday. 

23. Finding time to be creative is an essential part of your happiness. 

24. Sometimes you can keep a little secret for yourself - it’s fun! 

25. Always looking for a silver lining isn’t weakness - finding a light in the dark is strength. 

26. Meditation is important - it makes you kinder. 

27. If you want to do something, jump at it without hesitation - we only have only life, and it truly isn’t that long. 

28. Find beauty and fun in the small moments in life - the mundane can be the best parts. 

29. Never stop believing that a dream can become reality - what is meant for you will never pass you by and if you’ve imagined it, it is meant to be yours. 

If you’ve gotten to the bottom of this post, thank you for taking the time to read my words and thoughts - these are deeply personal to me, but if you’ve gotten anything from them, I’m glad. 

I hope wherever you are and whoever you are, that you’re having a wonderful day and being your truest and most authentic self. 

Be kind to your self and others. 

See you in the next post! 

Gxx 

[cq-studios]

THE WIP LIST IS BACK!! Tell me more about Broadcasting Live From Daybreak Town? That sounds like it's probably an entertaining one, haha.

(For this)

YEAH!! WIP LIST!!

Would you believe me if I said it’s angst? lol

So, I love taking a pieces of the Daybreak Town backgrounds and just making a whole fics about them. I’ve done it with the Marketplace, I’m gonna do it with the Moogle Shop, and this one is specifically about the radios.

The original idea was a radio broadcast from a local station (run by an unhappy conspiracy driven Dandelion) right when the glitches started to get bad. It’s kind of evolved into a Brain and Ven centric fic where Brain has to not only deal with his own anxieties, but also needs to help Ven process that some people are just determined to blame them for things that aren’t their fault because of their position (something I discovered while writing this post… thank you for helping me figure that out, you’re gonna solve my whole block for this fic lol).

Snippet under the cut

Disclaimer: This is a WIP. All things are subject to change

“As our home gets overrun by flashing colours and ghosts from a time passed, the Union Leaders remain ever silent. I’m sure the question of whether or not they know what exactly is going on has crossed each of our minds at some point over the course of this strange day. And the Union Leaders seem uninterested in our pursuit of answers, keeping themselves locked up in the Clocktower, turning everyone who approaches them away for something of supposedly higher importance. Could they be trying to fix this problem, or could it be that they are the ones causing it.” Brain stopped typing. His teeth ground against each other. “Their refusal to give us an-”

“Ven, turn the radio off,” he barked, not watching his tone.

 I have more important things to focus on. I can’t let myself be distracted by conspiracies on the radio.

“The Union Leaders have…” There was a moment of hesitation before Ven placed his finger on the button. Suddenly the radio’s volume peaked. “abandoned, abandoned, abandoned, abandoned-” the word repeated, each delivery the same as the last, but slightly distorted, wrong. 

Ven jumped backwards and nearly out of his skin, hands swiftly covering his ears. The younger wielder shot Brain a wide eyed look just as the whole broadcast drowned in static.

They both knew what had happened, but that didn’t make the event any less startling. The host and their crew must have been caught in a glitch.

Brain winced at the thought, his mind flashing back to the moment a glitch had appeared over his hand.

At first it had just fallen asleep. Then the pins and needles gradually sharpened, digging deeper and deeper, pressing harder and harder, until…

The static from the radio died down and he was free to hear the startled and disgruntled noises of the announcer and the crew as they reoriented themselves. Then, “I can’t feel anything! I can’t feel-”

The sensation in his hand still hadn’t returned.

“Ven!”

“Sorry,” almost immediately this time, the younger wielder pressed the button. The room fell almost entirely quiet.

Brain welcomed the less distressing sounds of the Clocktower. The familiar repetitive clunking and clicking of the gears turning below him. The rhythmic knocking of Ven’s feet hitting the table’s leg. The faint buzzing of the screens…

Or maybe that was from the portal.

At the reminder, his attention drifted over to the portal. It flickered and swayed, looking unstable as ever. 

He made his way over to one of the smaller computer setups, and, with a few swift clacks of the keys, he’d typed in the command ‘Portal Status’. Enter. 

Almost hesitantly, his eyes shifted to the display.

<Stable>Good. He let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. It had to stay that way. Otherwise Ephemer and his friend wouldn't have a way back, and that’d be creating a whole new problem he wasn’t sure they’d have time to fix.

[canayams-art]

"i don't need anyone fighting my battles"

"no, but someone should have your back"

STOP STOP THIS IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!!

i absolutely adore your take on the situation! i also feel like mq would have such a hard time believing lqq being genuine, especially if this would be during the time they would be fighting. and while mq doesn't see himself through the eyes of those who judge him, he still thinks even those who don't think the same. lqq meanwhile doesn't have much of information on mq and xl's relationship so perhaps he would get more curious about it seeing the way mq reacted to the situation.

however i look at it i don't think qianqing would have much issues with their relationship/friendship simply because they would end up talking about the issues at some point, because neither of them are weighted by shared or complicated history, the power imbalance doesn't really exist between them so it wouldn't play that much of a role in their issues, and both of them are stubborn enough to keep trying to make it better when things go south. maybe the topic of morality would be an issue, but seeing as both of them are generals and know war, i don't think the topic would come up all that often. and if it does, mq doesn't strike me as someone who would deliberately take jabs at lqq's ways of dealing with things and would let him do his thing voicing his thoughts (he did deal with both fx and xl's idealistic views after all) and lqq would at least demand mq's explanation before jumping his throat about his ways being "conniving".

ooooh lqq and mq meeting while lqq is in the pursuit of revenge and mq maybe potentially after he escapes the prison 👀 you're giving me so many ideas i can't even put them all in order lol

no no i enjoy an occasional qianxiu cameo! actually the reason why your account brought my attention was that ship since i myself never could get into qr x lqq one. im like super casually into them but i can get behind your vision

ah im still kinda getting used to new uni, so i dont think i will be able to write anything in a while, but our discussions have opened my eyes and brain and i don't think the ideas i have for them will be leaving soon. i will let you know how it goes when i finally get something concrete because i don't think i will rest peacefully until i make something for qianqing :"))

btw have you decided whether you're participating in the weekend lqq/sqx event? the prompts seem cute from what ive seen

Now I’m just thinking about the more mundane sides of their relationship. Like when all of the tension of their previous circumstances is gone and over with, they could really have one of the most sincere companionships in the heavens. I mostly think that way about any relationship where lqq is involved but it’s especially refreshing to imagine with mq who’s never really had that for himself in the way most of the other gods have. Mq deserves a confidant and lqq would be such a positive person for mq to learn to open up more with.

I definitely think they’d have a liveliness to their relationship— lqq seems like the type to lose interest and drag out his formal duties (paperwork, organizing, etc), which mq would absolutely get on his case about. Attendants wouldn’t even be able to formally announce mq’s arrival without lqq trying to find ways to avoid mq for the dread of being dragged back to his duties by the ear. Meanwhile mq would give lqq an earful about how childish he’s being (even if mq may or may not be going along with lqq’s game of avoidance) and eventually sit down with lqq to make sure he finishes what needs to be done.

On the other hand mq is always so distant at festivals and events— always solitary with his martial training and meditations. Lqq is a noisy disruption from the norm but he makes a good sparring partner. Somehow they both find each other’s martial styles familiar (it’s the xl conditioning but neither of them know that yet). Lqq is far from besting mq but I think he would be a good sport about it— mq leaves him in the dirt more times than either of them can count but lqq always grins and leaps back to his feet for another determined round.

There would be quiet, comfortable moments too but those seem somehow more rare and more special for them.

Anyway—! I would LOVE to see fy!mq run into lqq while they’re out trying to solve their individual problems in the mortal realm. Maybe lqq wouldn’t recognize mq at first— maybe mq wouldn’t want lqq to recognize him. But despite that possibility I still think it would be interesting to see mq try and convince lqq as fy to take a different path,,, even if he fails to dissuade lqq.

I just love having these talks though!!! And I get where you’re coming from. It feels out of place to be someone who likes lqq but doesn’t necessarily like qiurong. No hate or judgement here though— it’s just not for me! And since lqq’s presence in the plot is very limited it’s both a blessing and a curse cos it means so much about him is a mystery BUT!! it also means interpreting how he interacts with other characters is free real estate 😂 I love the creativity that comes from the circumstances!

And I’ve decided I want to participate in the lqq/sqx event but I haven’t decided what prompt(s) I wanna draw for yet. That’s something I’ll figure out soon huhuhu

[hyunnieshannie]

Have you ever read a fic that captures you in every way?

Warning: this is a rant // Review about a fic I just finished. I DONT usually post this kind of thing on the writing blog and would usually post this on my secondary ( @hyunsungbased ) but I felt like I needed to rant properly so here you go.

I just finished the most gruesome. Heart wrenching. Psychiatric facility needing fic I have EVER read and enjoyed all 35 chapters of the gut twisting, anxiety inducing story line.

The tags? Usually ones I don’t go out of my way looking for (Dead Dove: Do Not Eat and others) but when I saw THE TRAILER. YES. A WHOLE. MOVIE. TRAILER. for it. I had to do it.

Like this fic genuinely surpassed being just a fic. I 100% believe that if the author changed the names around from SKZ / ATEEZ names it could be a published book. That would more than definitely capture the attention of horror // psychological thriller fans.

As someone who wants to be in film as a director I’d JUMP at a chance to make this a tv show or movie. It was fucking PHENOMENAL.

The plot. Attention to detail. Continuity. The side plots. The foreshadowing. The hints dropped throughout the story, Everything about this fic was so incredibly well done. The author must have been as meticulous as Chan was throughout the story to genuinely have me this floored.

There are very little authors who’ve had me this intrigued. A few being some mutuals I’ve made here. (@milkandhyunnie & @straywrds I’m looking at you) and some who I continuously read their works. (You can find the works I genuinely love SO MUCH in my Fic Suggestions list HERE

Back to my rant/Review:

I Don’t cry at fics. I barely cry reading but some of the deaths gutted me. I have an entire video of myself SOBBING over two deaths. Ranting to a friend of how cruel it was even tho I was EXPECTING it. And every-time it was brought back up I could feel myself choking. It was unfair and cruel. And one of the characters last words being “Do you think he’s waiting for me?” Destroyed me in my entirety.

This fic became an obsession. Almost as unhealthy and the relationship between the main characters. It ate me alive. My brain couldn’t function properly. It became an obsession. I stayed up countless nights reading because i couldn’t put it down.

I fell in love with the characters, their development, and genuinely felt so strongly. And DEFENDED THEIR ACTIONS.

There were times I found myself thinking ‘wow yeah I’m in love with Hyunjin’s character in this fic..’ when I know I should have been wincing at the thought of who his character was.

It. Fucked. With. Me. So. Bad. (In a good way)

I talked about it to all my friends —> told them what was going on as a play by play as I read.

They aren’t really down for the kind of fic it was (Murder// Gruesome killings// and other things that is best described in ‘Have you ever seen the show Hannibal?’ {no. No one in SKZ does those things to each other // Eats. Weird things}) they opted to me giving a synopsis.

They laughed with me and when it came to. Cried as hard as I did and they weren’t even reading it. (Ty to my friends for putting up with me because dear god. When I say it became an obsession I genuinely mean it. A lot of it inspired how Kierra acts within our fic super board. So if our last chapter of Kierra’s past shocked you that fic may have definitely had a part to play. Kierra was ALWAYS going down that road. The author inspired the gruesomeness of the act itself)

As someone who’s been writing another fic on the sidelines to test the waters of the dark and twisted this fic has truly inspired me. (I may perhaps leave it on AO3 instead as I’m not sure how our readers here - who are used to our casual fluffier happy ending writing style may react.).

I have never been more inspired to write angst with either a hopeful ending or no happy ending at all.

I could go on about this all day. I have done it too. I have went on a whole TWO HOUR explanation on how I felt about this I could probably write an essay about why it was so good.

If you made it this far thank you.

Here’s a gift for your troubles.

*cries seeing them because this fic altered my brain chemistry*

>> Mini’s Note: If somehow any of this interested you after reading this (i tried to leave it as vague as possible while my brain still tries to process the last 3 chapters) pls feel free to dm me for info on it but I cannot stress this enough. This fic is so heavy in terms of topics and the details put into it. SO. HEAVY. I’ll gladly pass it along but it really is not for the weak of stomachs. If you still want it, I advise you HEAVILY READ THE TAGS MORE THAN ONCE.

Ps: i have started their next series which is on going and supposedly DARKER than the one I just finished. Please pray for not only may sanity, but for the sanity of the friends who will have to deal with me for the next [insert time period] that I spend reading it.

[ratcatcher0325]

Alexander I have a dare. While Natalie is busy cleaning in the kitchen. Walk over to a device. Go to youtube or spotify and play the the song 'Never gonna give you up' by Rick Astley on FULL BLAST.

Wait and see her reaction

My, my, Anon. I LOVE the way your brain works. Now I have absolutely no idea why you recommended that seemingly very specific song... Is it particularly annoying? In any case, this sounds delightfully mischievous and I would love nothing more than to participate in these devilish schemes. I've happened to land on this ask in the perfect window of opportunity.

You see, as I write this, Natalie is prepping dinner and she's left me on the counter huddled up in one of her hoodies, with the phone propped up for my use, directly beside her (But at a far enough distance from the stove and its potentially dangerous overspill of hot oil and the like). Now. She just so happens to have a Bluetooth speaker which sits on the other side of the stove, to her right. All I have to do is connect to the speaker and follow your detailed instructions. Join me on this journey of wreaking havoc won’t you?

I shall have to go about this carefully. You see, Natalie has a propensity to drone on and on about banal things like what temperature to heat a pan at to brown butter and how a chef’s best tool is her sense of smell. I’m doing my level best to nod and murmur something often enough that she thinks I’m listening. As I’m sure you already know, she’s a very nosy creature and if I seem too preoccupied, she’ll just pluck up the phone from my grasp to see what’s holding my attention. I’m between snippets of feigned conversation, I’m searching for your suggested song…

… and I have it. This guy seems fond of unflattering beige trench coats , hm?

Alright now, final step, I must connect this device to the speaker across the counter. When it syncs with a new device, I’ve noticed it makes a short ping. Well, I don’t want to give myself away now do I? Ah, I see she’s bringing everything to a higher heat, the confection is boiling, now if I just time it with when she next tosses the contents of the pan, I think that’ll create enough sizzle to distract her…. Here we go…

And….It worked!! She just asked me what was making me smirk like that, “it can’t be anything good… you actually look happy!” Were her exact words. I dismissed her with a roll of my eyes. Alright now all I have to do is press play, yes? The volume is maximized. This has better be worth it Anon…. Three, two, one….

Ha ha ha ha!!!! Oh my god! Oh my god, Anon, I wish I could show you the pure bewilderment, the entire five stages of grief this woman experienced within seconds of each other!!! She keeps yelling “Who told you to do that??? Who taught you Rick rolling?!” She’s all flushed and utterly disgruntled! Oh, this made my day! This was priceless. She jumped when it came on! Nearly dropped the pan with all its contents and everything!! I’m actually tearing up, I’m laughing so hard. My ribs hurt! She keeps digging a finger into my chest and mussing my hair but it doesn’t even bother me! Oh, the pure delights of pranking a human!

She went so far as to pluck me up under my arms and pull me right before her eyes, staring me down, she warned me, “You watch yourself little man…. When you least expect it… expect it! I’m getting you back for this!” She’s since put me back down which gave me the chance to finish writing this to you.

Thank you for teaching me the wonders of “Rick rolling” as I believe you call it? That was a true delight. I’m off to have dinner now, while Nat mumbles to herself about her own disbelief in being had. I, myself, feel ten feet tall, at the moment!

Yours in Crime,

Alexander

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

Heart of the Weave - A Baldurs Gate fanfiction - Part 2

Chapter 5 - Another adventure huh?

Morning arises and boy am I glad that I can’t be exhausted. Sleep is still nice while immortal; a full night’s sleep gets my brain functioning fully. On top of that, if I sleep, I feel more powerful than before, which is well needed in these strange times. I turn over to face Gale, noticing him wide awake with Jenevelle in his arms. She notices me waking up, smiling and cooing as she becomes alert.

“Ah, my little baby. Such a happy girl,” I remark, admiring her. Gale chuckles and rolls his eyes as if that wasn’t a true statement. She could never be a handful. .

“Mmm, not this morning. On top of her wanting a bottle super early, which she let me know with anger by the way, she had a massive blowout like you wouldn’t believe. I had to bathe her and then eventually bathe myself. I’m just glad you got your rest after last night.” I snuggle my head into his neck comfortably.

“Well, Mr. Dekarios, I’d be happy to stay here while you go kick some Bhaalspawn arse.” He laughs and shrugs his bare shoulders, placing our daughter on my chest. I know he had an eventful morning with her, but I honestly love that he didn’t complain.

“Let’s chat with our counterparts –”

“Friends,” I interrupt, giving him a smirk.

“Right. Then we can come up with a plan.” Well damn, this means we will either need to visit most of our friends by foot, or we can visit with Withers. So, we are going the easy route and summoning Withers because walking all over Waterdeep is the biggest of hassles. For the purpose of Jenevelle not getting terrified, we place her in her playpen in the living area for a few moments while we discuss important matters with him in the kitchen. Tara is keeping her company in the meantime.

Gale performs the summoning spell and Withers appears before our very eyes, which never fails to make me jump because it either takes him one minute to appear or ten minutes. Either way, his entry is startlesome.

“Ah, does thou need assistance? I assume companionship is what is desired.”

“Good to see you again Withers. Yes, that is the matter we wanted to discuss with you,” Gale responds. “Can you have them come our way please?”

“I can, but please be advised that Jaheira has passed on and Minsc is in a grieving state over her unpredicted death.” My jaw drops hearing this devastating news over Jaheira. No. This can’t be. I’m just now hearing about this?

“Wait…how did she die?” I ask, my voice cracking as I’m holding back tears. “It can’t be.”

“The Bhaalists. Jaheira’s soul flies on and is as bright as the moonlight. She protected the ones she loved and told them to run. I can say no more on the matter.”

“The Bhaalists…got her?”

“Yes.” Gale and I are astonished at this horrible news I didn’t expect to hear today. And Minsc? Oh poor Minsc. His heart must be so shattered. “Shall I alert thy companions for your need of them?”

“Yes please,” I murmur, my heart shattered, and a tear delicately rolling down my cheek. Gale pulls me in for a gentle hug, holding me close as I cry into his chest. “Not Jaheira.”

Withers comes back after roughly five minutes.

“Thy companions should arrive here soon. Death and danger lie ahead, but those strong enough to bare it can end the darkness of Bhaal.” Poof. He vanishes again, leaving behind a cloud of blue smoke.

“Well, it’s happening. Hopefully our little group would be willing to conquer this journey with us. I’m so sorry we had to hear such horrible news,” Gale says apologetically. “From what I gathered from that, she told her family to run. It was just her against these horrible people, if you can even call them that.”

“They’re far from human. They’re deranged monsters.”

What is causing these horrible cultists to go on a rampage like this all of a sudden? I assume Bhaal had plans for them since Orin is no longer in the picture. They feared her, they obeyed her. They knew they couldn’t compete. Now that she’s dead, it’s a battle to the death to take her spot. Their God is vile and I’ll never understand his charms.

Everyone arrives at the tower quicker than we expected. Well, mostly everyone – excluding Minsc and Lae’zel. We open the door and everyone comes inside to gather around the living area. We all pour ourselves a glass of wine as we get ready to discuss the next steps.

“The babies… What are we to do?” Shadowheart questions, holding her baby in her arms. She genuinely looks terrified, and understandably so.

“My dear, you should stay with Emmy. I’m a vampire after all, I have nothing to fear. I’ll get to thirst on these heinous, filthy Bhaalists like it’s a buffet. I can’t wait. Plus, I need you and the child safe.”

“On top of that, you’ll get to be with Jenevelle and I. I could use the company,” I add. She gasps in excitement and Astarion takes the baby from her so she can jump up and down.

“Okay, I’m sold.”

“Wow, that was easy. Normally it’s hard to convince–” Shadowheart glares at Astarion for a moment and he clears his throat. “I mean, I’m glad you’ll be staying, my love.” I feel much more comfortable at the idea of staying home with Jenevelle now if it means Shadowheart would stay. Some sort of adult conversation will at least keep my mind at ease.

“Wyll and I will ABSOLUTELY join! We have nothing to live for,” Karlach chimes in. Wyll raises his eyebrow and cocks his head at her.

“Hey now!”

“Sorry, that came off much worse out loud than it did in my head.” I bust out in laughter, which causes me to snort, which I tried not to do but it caused another laughing fit. Astarion is giving me a petty look of judgment.

“Alright, which one of you fools casted Tasha’s Hideous Laughter on this poor soul?” Astarion mutters. “Unbelievable.”

“Count me in as party of the team against these vile murderers,” Halsin comments. “May we restore peace once more and get justice for Jaheira.” Every single one of us holds up our wine glasses for a toast, and we all say simultaneously, “For Jaheira.” Both babies are lying on the rug on their bellies, trying to figure each other out. It’s so cute to see Jenevelle make her first friend, though Shadowheart and Astarion’s baby Asher will eventually age and ours will not. At least Asher is a half-elf, which means it might take him longer to age anyway.

“Well, when should we leave? I’ll need to pack some necessities for the adventure there,” Gale questions as he sits down on the sofa next to me.

“The sooner the better, before the already dire situations get much worse,” Astarion replies. “I just want to get this overwith.”

“So, tomorrow then? I’m with Astarion on this one,” Wyll chimes in. “For once.”

“Tomorrow it is then!”

I did not realize they’d all be leaving so soon, but I suppose it’s best they leave as soon as possible. Who knows how long Gale will be away from us and what sort of dangers they’ll run into? All I have to say is, thank the Gods he’s immortal otherwise I’d lose my shit.

“I’ll miss you,” I tell him as he wraps me in his warm embrace. He kisses my forehead as he holds me, hesitating on his next word. I know he’s just taking it all in.

“I’ll miss you too. Hopefully we won’t be gone terribly long.”

“You two are so fucking cute! It…makes me want to cry,” Karlach comments with a dramatic sniffle. “Sorry, I just love sappy shit like this.” Wyll wraps his arm around Karlach, laughing as he pulls her close and kisses the side of her head. “There it is. About time, Wyll.”

After everyone leaves, Gale packs his backpack with necessities needed for the dreaded adventure back to Baldur’s Gate and I decide to get dinner started. I just hope they can all at least get rid of the sick, monstrous fucks that are murdering everyone. I also keep hoping that Gale’s mother is alright. She’s older and fragile, I can’t imagine anything happening to her. While she lives in Waterdeep, I just know the cultists are bound to head here at any given time if they haven’t already.

We sit down at the table ready to eat dinner. Tara joins us, but basically licks her paws the whole time.

“I will do my best to protect our friends the best I can,” Gale mutters, taking a bite of venison. “I will do my damned best to get rid of the source of this catastrophe. After seeing the horrific influence Bhaal has on people, it makes me so glad I never chose godhood.”

“I agree completely. I can’t imagine you losing yourself for power like that. And you probably would have left me behind and we wouldn’t have the life we have now. I can’t fathom it.” We talk about it a lot, but it’s true. The influence a god has on people is terrifying. What if Bhaal was once a good person and turned to murder once he became a god?

It’s time for Jenevelle to go to sleep. I’m letting Gale feed her and prepare for her bed since he will leave early tomorrow morning.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” he mumbles to her as he gives her a bottle. “May you always stay so precious and sweet. I love you so very much. You are the greatest gift anyone could have ever given me.” He smiles down at her as she watches him speak. His soothing voice makes her eyes heavy and she looks as if she’s going to fall asleep in his arms.

{check out my AO3 👇🏻}

[magicalbats]

Hi Bats! I’m fairly new to reading your fics, but I just wanted to let you know that ur kinktober zhongli fic has been rotting my brain since i read it.

I’m wondering if you plan on making any additional content for that au, i remember reading that you would at some point so i believe that answers that, but i would absolutely love it if you could give us some little snippets of how those two would act towards each other after the fact? i feel like the bunny adeptus would be fairly skittish, but im sure Zhongli wouldn’t let her skamper off too far from his side!

Hiiiii, I’m so happy to have you here Explodo! I hope you enjoy your stay! lol

Okay, so. Yes. I do have tentative plans to revisit Zhongli and the bunny reader. I think there was a lot of potential in the dynamic which I’d love to further explore! I’m for sure seeing his hoarding instincts come out and he gets way more overbearing about everything, especially in the way he communicates with her. Close proximity, never too far out of sight, personally taking her education into his own hands, if you catch my drift. 🌚 I actually outlined a fic before I came back to tumblr with an undecided adeptus coming to Liyue Harbor and basically finding herself ingratiated to him so I was thinking about tweaking that a bit to kind of make the jump from the Morax we saw in the Kinktober fic to present day, post retirement Zhongli. I was also considering doing something with Xiao, since he was in a sense the catalyst for that exchange and I do so love a good threesome. xkekdkdjdnd

I haven’t quite decided on a game plan going forward yet but let me take this chance to speak more broadly to everyone. It’s definitely been a while since I last posted but I’m finally getting to a good point where I can start writing again! The seasonal fog is starting to peel away now that it’s getting warmer and things have gone back to normal at work too, so I’ve been chipping away at some of my fics for the last week or so. Yes, I still plan to finish my Kinktober prompts. Yes, I’m going to put together a commissions page once I’m settled back in. And YES I’m going to try and get caught up on the birthday fics too. 😭

On one hand I’m frustrated with myself for losing my momentum with everything going on at the end of the year. I promise I understand how frustrating it can be to wait for updates! But on the other I do have obligations offline and I hope my friends and followers can understand that. I’m definitely looking forward to jumping back in though, and I can’t wait to start posting again!

And just to circle back to the topic at hand … 👀 Although I don’t have anything super concrete to give you (particularly since this was originally drafted without the backstory of that Kinktober piece) I can definitely share a snippet of what I wrote! Please don’t mind how messy it is right now btw, this hasn’t gone through any editing. lol

[fanfictasia]

Whumpuary Prompt 13

“I’m Fine”

Spoiler: This is an excerpt from Vision

I jump off Wrecker’s rack first thing in the morning. I wanted to know what would happen, okay? It was a good distraction from brooding. I keep Seeing Crosshair, and I can’t tell if my brain is trying to tell me something, or if it’s just showing me who I want most. Don’t care, either. I’m so tired of it.

We succeeded the mission of rescuing Hunter, but no one points out we’re breaking tradition. I haven’t eaten since before Daro, and that’s been a couple days. I don’t have the appetite to.

Hunter’s working at one of the computers, or – oh, you know, he’s pretending to. All I see is a lot of staring, and he doesn’t look up until I thump to the floor, rolling to my feet with a shriek.

“You okay?” he asks, blinking himself back to present.

His eyes are red. Don’t tell me he’s been crying, too. I don’t think I can deal with that.

Of all the things Crosshair did, I can forgive that the last. Wrecker is never depressed. He never cries. This is the first time. And if – if Hunter did… He hurt all of us, and I don’t want to think about that right now. Or ever.

“Fine,” I assure, brushing myself off, “That was fun! Speaking of which, after you tumbled down a mountain side, are you okay? I never thought about asking. That is so rude. Did Tech check you over? I didn’t notice.”

“I’m fine, Vision,” he promises very insincerely.

“Really? Cuz that didn’t look fine. That looked painful. I mean. That was a mountain. I thought…”

“I know,” he says, touching my shoulder. “But we’re fine.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Not all of us.” I can’t read his expression, but the smokiness of his feel dims. “But anyway, I saw you limping, so I… I was just worried. Part of why I was worried.” My visions are more of a pain than anything else lately. I believed we’d get Crosshair back, but that wasn’t real. I spent so long afraid Hunter would die, and there was no truth to that.

“It’s just bruises,” he insists, “I didn’t fall straight. There were branches, and I hit the mountainside.”

I click my tongue. “You mean, a full body bruise? That sounds ouchie. Can I hug you? Is that safe?”

He leans forwards first, which is weird, looping an arm around my waist and pulling me close. I don’t climb into his lap this time, even if I want to, not really sure how…sensitive he is right now. He could’ve been hurt in any one of a million different ways. Don’t wanna face any. I know he’s still human, still breakable, but he’s Hunter, and he still seems… strong. I’m wondering more and more how much of that is an illusion he’s trying to hold over us.

We can’t be a squad if we can’t trust each other, I want to tell him, but I have the same problem. I can’t even trust myself. I only… believe in me because they do.