#the way janeway is basically tearing up

[lesbiangracehanson]

i’m sick so i rewatched voyager conspiracy to cheer myself up, and i just need to talk to kate mulgrew about every acting choice she makes in that scene with seven cos it really is insane

[myenterpriseisparked]

Pareidolia

Chakotay misses the real Kathryn Janeway and Hologram Janeway ponders her emotional evolution.

Read on AO3

“Captain?” Her voice filtered through the door to his quarters. “Are you planning on getting up today?”

Chakotay squeezed his eyes shut. He knew Janeway was worried, but he was tired. So tired. Despite having done nothing for days on end, he didn’t think he had ever been so tired in his whole life.

Maybe when he found out the rest of the Maquis died? He wasn’t sure. 

“Captain?” Her voice came through the door again and, since it was her voice, he stood and opened it. 

She looked up at him with worried, blue eyes and he immediately knew that opening the door was a mistake.

“You look ill.” She said, reaching up to touch his chin and turn his face from side to side. “We should take you down to sickbay and run diagnostics.”

“I’m not sick.” He said, pulling his chin out of her grasp. “And sickbay is offline, remember?”

“I can still run some basic scans–”

“I’m not sick.” He bit out.

She looked at him, brow furrowed in worry.

“Captain, I know things have been difficult since Adreek–”

“I don’t want to talk about Adreek.” He was a bit surprised at the vitriol in his own voice, but he went on. “I’m not sick and I don’t want to talk about Adreek.”

“It might help.”

“Might help what? Might help me be less grouchy? For whose benefit? Yours?”

She took a step backward, but held his gaze. “No, for yours.”

He shook his head. “We’re alone on this rock now, Janeway. I just want to sleep.”

She sighed. “As you wish, Captain.”

For some reason, that felt like a slap to the face more than anything else.

Chakotay knew that the woman standing in front of him wasn’t really Kathryn Janeway. That knowledge was like the soft hum of a fan in the back of his head; a white noise he was subconsciously aware of but not actively thinking about. For the most part she was an incredibly accurate recreation, but then there were moments like this, where her programming was too agreeable – when she didn’t bite back in all the ways that his Kathryn would – and it was like the fan roared to life and drowned out the sound of anything else. 

He felt his chest squeeze.

“What, that’s it?” He said before he could stop himself. He took a step forward to cover the distance she had created between them. “That’s all you have to say?”

She looked confused. “You said you just wanted to sleep.”

He took another step forward and they stood so close they were practically touching. He was glad she didn’t step back; he didn’t think he would be able to stand it if she had stepped back. 

“And you’re just going to let me get away with that?”

Her brow furrowed and, for a moment, he saw frustration flash in her eyes.

Yes, YES.

“So you want me to… what? See that you’re lying and call you out on it?” She tilted her head. “That’s a bit dramatic, Captain. Just say what you mean.”

She was almost there. There was frustration in her voice, but no bite. Not yet.

“I don’t want you to call me out for lying,” he said sharply. “I’m not lying. I just–” He stopped. What the hell was he doing?

She tilted her head and the frustration left her eyes, replaced by something softer and warmer that Chakotay was not ready for. “You want me to get angry.”

He looked away. “I want you to–”

He stopped speaking, but the unsaid words lingered between them anyway: I want you to be Kathryn Janeway.

There was a brush of a hand on his shoulder but, by the time he looked up, the hologram had disappeared. 

Shame pooled low and cold in his gut, squeezing his insides like a constrictor.

What the hell am I doing?

He rubbed a tired hand over his face and shut the door to his room, tucking himself back in bed.

Even as he fell back asleep he could feel her watching, and the guilt squeezed harder and harder until tears came out of his eyes.

—

He wanted her to be Kathryn Janeway. The real one.

She wished, for a moment, that her programmers had not given her a heart. The Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz was insane, she thought, to wish for this special kind of agony. Was there a wizard that could take hers away? Give it to someone who could benefit from it? What good was it for a training hologram to have the ability to feel?

She supposed it had probably started as an ability to care – which was good for a hologram to be able to do – and had evolved from there. Why did she have to evolve? Growing and learning was good, yes, but why did she have to live with human emotions?

Especially ones that cannot be requited?

She sighed and put a hand to her head, swirling the cup of coffee she held with the other. With her eyes closed, she focused on the quiet sounds of the bridge. Since she was the only electronic program still running in the entire ship, she could hear little besides the shifting sands outside and the occasional squeak of the small, alien rodent who had snuck into the ship a week ago. 

She hadn’t had the heart to shoo it out. It was just looking for a place to shelter and it wasn’t like she and Chakotay needed the entire ship to themselves.

It’s not like Chakotay needs the entire ship to himself. I don’t really take up space.

She was tempted to peek in at him in his quarters again, but she knew he needed space. She would give him that for one more day and then remind him he needed to go get food. Apparently, he wanted her to be more assertive. She would try to be. For him.

Despite her lack of actual lungs, her second deep sigh felt good. 

She knew she couldn’t be Kathryn Janeway in the way he wanted, and he would never look at her and see anything other than the afterimage of the woman he loved. She was a ghost, a simulacrum, an inferior model. She was not who he really needed.

But, God help her, she would try to be. She had the rest of his life to try to get it right.

She took a sip of her coffee and set a timer for 24 hours. She would knock on his door then and make him eat something. And, maybe, convince him to go outside.

And, if that didn’t work, she would keep trying. However long it took.

[enigmatist17]

I still am seething Voyager's ending didn't at least show the crew seeing Earth again >:(

----

Lt. Reginald Barclay was one of the first to board the newly returned Voyager. He's one of the very few right now, the crew and ship still under quarantine to prevent any spread of foreign diseases that the crew had long been accustomed to. Barclay isn't a fan of the decon suit he has to wear, but is willing to overlook it because he can't wait to meet the crew for the first time.

Captain Janeway is the first one to greet him, her smile blinding as she watches the lieutenant exit the shuttle he'd arrived in with a box and enter a temporary hazmat area to prevent anything from slipping out into the shuttles that dropped by most days with supplies or medical officers. Her handshake is firm when he reaches out with a nervous smile, and Barclay can see she's happy for a fresh face.

"It is very nice to finally meet you Lieutenant."

"Likewise C-Captain." He reaches into the hovering large container he's brought with him, and pulls out a thermos. "Fresh coffee, I heard you're a fan."

She laughs, and accepts the thermos as if it's the most important thing she's ever held.

"I've been cleared to bring, to bring gifts for everyone from family and friends." Barclay declines to bring up how he basically had to guilt trip half of the upper command for this to happen, but it's of little consequence. "It's not much, but I thought you'd a-appreciate it."

"These will go a long way to boosting morale." Janeway motions for Barclay to come follow. "I will admit, the crew are eager to go home and breathe in fresh air."

"I asked around, a-and medical will probably clear you all within the next month." The halls at first are empty, and Barclay can see the wear and tear from seven years without proper upkeep, honestly astonished the ship had been able to remain in one piece over all that time. "How you came home, in one piece? It's astonishing, utterly astonishing."

"You and I both, it's nothing short of a miracle...or seven." He can hear a faint whisp of regret behind her words, and just offers a small smile as they head towards what he assumed was the bridge.

Instead, they emerge into the dining hall, where what had to be the entire crew was waiting for him.

"Everyone, may I introduce Lt. Barclay." The cheers that rang out nearly deafened her introduction, and crew Reginald had only seen in reports and his holograms for testing were just...there, smiling at him.

"Nice to meet someone not trying to take even more blood," Harry spoke first, shaking Barclay's outstretched hand fiercely.

"Don't hog all the attention." Paris nudged his friend's side, eyeing the container. "What's in there?"

"Uh, I-I brought gifts." Reginald smiled, and has to take a step back when everyone surged forward before Janeway and her SIC Chakotay stopped them with a sharp whistle.

"Sorry, we're just excited!" Little Naomi grinned from her perch on top of a table, her mother supporting her as she wanted to see a new person with her own eyes.

She was much more adorable in person.

The next two hours were spent with Reginald distributing things he'd been given, the crew spreading out over the floor and tables to show off their gifts and to talk about those they missed. Laughter filled the air as Barclay spoke about how he'd threatened his career for the first time they had spoken, and he was taken aback to find he'd been made an honorary crew member after the fact.

It's late when the crew, sated and overjoyed when they find out he'd be returning, finally disperse for the evening. He can still see they're all wired to be on alert, a few whispering to those who probably had been night shift for so long to go and rest with them when they turned to head to stations.

"I think you've given the crew their biggest morale boost since they arrived home, if I may say so." The Doctor hummed, holding a small retro camera that Zimmerman had sent him. "They were all excited to meet you."

"I'm nothing special." Barclay shrugged, a bit sheepish at the notion.

"He's right, the moment we all heard your voice for the first time, everyone was smiling for days." The captain smiled, remembering it was one of the happiest she'd ever seen her crew at the time. "You're brilliant, and if anyone says otherwise, tell them Captain Janeway wants to speak with them."

"Yes ma'am." Barclay gave a short salute, finally standing from the seat he'd been given what felt like ages ago. "That's it for me, I-I've got to get back before I end up a pincushion myself."

"When do you think you can visit next?" The Doctor asked, he and the captain escorting Barclay back to the shuttle bay, the crew they walk past all waving or wishing the man a goodnight.

"Hm? Well, in a day or two." Barclay hummed, mentally running through his calendar. "There are more things meant for you and the crew, but once it's all clear, they're yours!"

"That's wonderful news." Janeway pats his shoulder with a hum, and soon they're back to the pick-up zone for Barclay. "Do you want to leave the container here?"

"Might as well, I'm not sure how much I'm bringing next time." Like clockwork, the shuttle that dropped him off is soon within view, and Barclay steps into the decontamination zone with a small wave. "I-It's been nice meeting you all...well, finally, anyways."

"The same to you." The Doctor gave a short nod, and Janeway did the same.

"You're welcome back anytime Lieutenant, you're as much crew as anyways else here."

Reginald smiles, the warm feeling from the acceptance of people he'd never truly met something of a wonder for someone like him.

He already can't wait for the next visit.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep15: Coda

Oh this one!!! Do you want to cry buckets of tears over a Star Trek episode? Then watch Coda, and you will!

I've seen this one so many times, and it never fails to reduce me to a blubbering mess.

The structure of this one is very unusual; the audience doesn't find out what's actually going on till the very end. We start out with a normal away mission, some cute talk about Voyager's first annual Talent Night, in which Captain Janeway apparently danced ballet(!!), and Janeway and Chakotay being flirty during the shuttle ride.

But they experience some kind of storm during landing, the shuttle crashes on the planet, Captain Janeway is seriously injured, and eventually, dies. But as soon as she does, she and Chakotay end up back where they started. They figure out there's a time loop going on, but in each one, Captain Janeway keeps dying in more unlikely ways, so we know something is up beyond a regular time loop. Eventually, they end up back at the first scene of the crash, and this time, Janeway is standing there watching herself die while Chakotay cries over her body. (And this isn't even the moment that made me cry!) Janeway watches again as the Doctor tries to revive her back in sickbay, but it doesn't work, and she dies again in the eyes of the crew, seemingly for real. While trying deperately to find a way to let the crew know that she's there, alive, Janeway encounters the supposed ghost of her father, played by none other than Broadway's legendary original Sweeney Todd and Frederik Egerman, Len Cariou. He tries to convince her to 'cross over', but Captain Janeway is having none of it. She refuses to believe she's dead, and even goes to her own funeral. And voila! We have the perfect recipe for tears!

Even though I know that the funeral scene technically didn't even happen in real life, it's still a giant fountain of feels. First B'Elanna talks about how much Janeway's belief in her meant to her, and she cries, so then I cry. Then we see Janeway crying listening to her crew talk about her, so I cry some more. Then Harry talks about Captain Janeway and breaks down crying, whereupon Tom has to come and take him aside and stand with him for a while, and by then, I'm just a complete sobbing, snotty mess. Whether or not it's actually happening, it's all true- these characters love each other so much, and because the alien is creating these scenes from reading Janeway's mind, we know that Janeway must feel how much her crew loves and respects her. Ok I'm crying again just thinking about it!!!

And yeah, eventually Janeway figures out that the ghost of her father is actually an alien entity- when she gets angry at his insistence that she has to cross over right away and leave her crew behind, she regains consciousness on the planet for a second, and realizes she's really been there the whole time, because her real dad never tried to shield her from anything to spare her pain. (I hope she went to therapy to unpack that relationship after he died!) She fights back against the alien, who's trying to basically eat her, delivering the iconic line 'Go back to hell, coward!' with the fiercest vitriol any human being could muster, making me love her 100 times more than I already did.

She drives the alien away, and wakes up on the planet, alive and well.

Back on board Voyager, Janeway throws herself back into work, because apparently Starfleet captains cope with their traumatic experiences by avoiding them. Chakotay comes in to check on her, and tells her to take care of herself (lol really? bro, how long have you known her??) and he gives her a flower, which is a totally normal thing for a first officer to do for their captain! (It is not.) Janeway accepts the flower with a delighted little giggle, as though that were a totally normal thing for a Starfleet captain to do. (It is not.) She talks to him a little bit about what happened, but then I guess she decides that there are better ways of avoiding dealing with her emotions than work, and she suggests to Chakotay that they go to the holodeck with a bottle of champagne, and go for a moonlight sail on Lake George together, as though that weren't the least normal thing a Captain could ever suggest to her first officer. (It is.) Chakotay, who she damn well knows is in love with her, immediately agrees, and from the look on his face, he seems to have the wrong idea about what the evening will entail, unless Captain Janeway has changed her mind about dating her crew, in which case: she fully intends to get drunk and make out with her first officer. I have no idea if they were meaning to imply that Janeway really thinks a moonlight sail with a guy who's in love with her isn't gonna encourage him, or if she's really just like, 'fuck it, I almost died, I'm gonna make out with him and blame it on the alcohol tomorrow', but I can say with certainty that neither of these options are just normal Captain and First Officer things. (They're in a relationship, your honor.)

And then the credits roll! What an absolutely wild ride!!

Tl;dr: A superb episode that has a bit of everything- time loops, layers on layers of alternate timelines, Captain Janeway's dad, everybody crying because they love Captain Janeway, a creepy soul eating alien, and the most insanely shippy ending scene, which even the most rabid J/C shipper couldn't top in a thousand fanfics. A classic.

[shsy7573]

We’re in This Together - Ch. 9

For more info or chapter index, see overview post

DISCLAIMER: I do not own own Voyager or any of the characters in this fic (except for the aliens. Those were my creation.)

*This story is not beta-read and has not been edited or proof-read in any way! This was just something I threw together over the past three days and decided to post as my first entry on this site!*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER NINE

The next morning, Kathryn made the executive decision that they would be staying in the cave for a while. They were up on a ledge, far out of eye sight from the entrance, and there would be no reason for the Arachnomen to climb said ledge. Neither of them were in any state to travel, and even though they needed water, the Captain figured they’d lose less if they just stayed put for a while.

The venom was really starting to get to her. Halfway through the night, she’d started shivering. It was so bad that B’Elanna had to wake her up because she thought she was having a seizure. Now, she was alternating between shivering and hot flashes. One would come on without warning, going on for a range of minutes to hours, before immediately being replaced by the other again.

B’Elanna had thrown up in her sleep. She would have choked to death if the Captain wasn’t there. After that she’d basically just felt like shit. It felt like she was just slightly out of phase from her own body. She could see what was going on, but was never quite present enough to really feel anything.

Then the mood swings started. For any human they would have been intense, but being half-klingon, hers were volatile. One minute she would be extremely happy, bursting at the seams with excitement at all the new challenges they’d faced. Next, she’d be terribly inconsolable, hopeless with misery and convinced that they were never getting out of here. Then she’d be livid with anger, boiling to the point where the Captain had to hold her down for fear she’d blow their cover with her yelling.

Now, though, she was just homesick. Clinging desperately to Janeway as she longed for the soothing lull of Voyager drifting through space. It was strange, in a way, that she longed for Voyager rather than Earth. She guessed that part of her brain was thinking rationally enough to wish for something within reach, rather than 70,000 light years away.

Kathryn was just holding her, carding absent fingers through the Lieutenant’s hair, when B’Elanna began to talk.

“Captain?”

“Hm?”

“Why did Voyager leave us?”

Janeway tightened her grip on the woman, running a hand down her arm. “They’re on a diplomatic mission, remember? They’ll be back.”

“No they won’t.” B’Elanna despaired, pressing her face into Janeway’s chest, “they don’t want me anymore.”

“Now, I know that’s not true. Everyone loves you.”

“No they don’t! I pushed them all away and now they hate me!”

“Hey, look at me.” Kathryn removed her hand from B’Elanna’s hair, turning the engineer’s chin up so that she was gazing up at her through tearful eyes. “They don’t hate you. Nobody on Voyager hates you. You’re smart, and capable, and have gotten us out of our fair share of messes.”

“I’m sorry.” Torres pleaded, looking desperately at Janeway.

“What are you sorry for?”

“I- I pushed them all away. I got mad and they left because of me, and now- now- now you’re stuck here too.”

“Oh, Lanna. No. No, I promise you, they didn’t leave us. They’re coming back. In a couple of days when we don’t show up, they’ll be back. They wouldn’t leave just because you get a little upset sometimes. They care too much. This is not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It just happened.”

B’Elanna shuddered in distress, pressing her face back into Janeway. Kathryn let out a long, sympathetic sigh as she returned her hand to the girl’s hair.

“We’ll get through this, Lanna. I promise. Just hold on.”

She continued to cradle her crewman in her arms, hoping upon hope that she could fulfil that promise.

-

Several hours later, B’Elanna seemed to come out of whatever state she was in. Her mind slowly floated back into alignment, and her thoughts once again became clear. She pulled herself out of the Captain’s arms, and felt her heart flutter as the arms around her felt limply to the ground.

The Captain’s form was slumped against the wall, her eyes closed and her face slack.

B’Elanna shook the woman’s shoulders vigorously. A million worse-case scenarios flooding through her mind at her Captain’s limp form.

Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead—

“Captain?!”

Janeway’s eyes fluttered open, and she let out a long, drawled out groan.

“Captain! Oh, thank god!” B’Elanna gasped, flinging her arms around the woman in relief.

“Lanna?” Janeway slurred, mind still groggy as she was embraced, “is everything alright?”

Torres only gripped her tighter, the fear in her heart not having quite subsided. “You dozed off! I just- I saw you lying there and didn’t know what to think. I thought- I thought you were—“

Janeway returned the embrace, lacing her own arms around the Lieutenant and promptly cutting off her frantic attempts at an explanation.

“It’s alright, it’s okay. I’m right here. I’m here. I’m okay.”

B’Elanna pulled away with shaking hands so she could see her Captain’s face. As their eyes met, another bout of relief washed through her as she was profoundly reassured that Kathryn was indeed alive. 

As soon as she knew the Captain was healthy, she smacked the woman gently on her right shoulder. “Don’t do that! Holy shit, you scared me!”

Janeway laughed, leaning back against the wall as the Lieutenant recovered her dignity. “It’s nice to know you care!”

Torres pouted, looking away irritably as her Captain continued to laugh. She couldn’t pretend to be mad for long though, she was just glad Kathryn was alive. After a few minutes, the small signs of a smile tugged at her lips as she turned back towards the woman.

Janeway’s laughter died off, and her gaze became more thoughtful as she examined the Lieutenant. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, thanks. I think it was a good idea to stay here for a while.”

Kathryn nodded, “what do you remember?”

The engineer shrugged, “oh, bits and pieces. Nothing really coherent: me getting angry, me feeling lonely. But mostly, I just remember you being there.” She explained, pausing for a moment. She was grateful for her Captain. The truth was she had no idea what she would have done without her. So, after a moment, she added, “thanks for that.”

Janeway smiled, reaching forward and squeezing B’Elanna’s arm lightly, “of course.”

They fell into silence, each just taking in the other's presence.

“Hey, Captain?”

“Hm?”

“If I had to be stuck on a completely barren, god-forsaken planet with a bunch of monster-spider-cannibal-people hell bent on eating me alive… I’m glad it was with you.”

Kathryn beamed, “I couldn’t have asked for a better person to be stuck here with, either.”

“And, B’Elanna.”

“Hm?”

“We’ve been stuck down here long enough… feel free to call me Kathryn.”

The half-klingon laughed, “ha! Thanks for the offer, but I’ll stick to Captain. Calling you by your first name might just be a little too weird for me.”

Janeway smiled fondly, “fair enough.”

-

They ended up spending a couple more hours in the cave. Engaged in idle, light conversation and basically just conserving their energy for when they finally had the courage to climb down. 

Now, after having returned to full strength - or, we’ll, as full of strength as they could get - the pair decided it was time to set out. Kathryn was leaning heavily on B’Elanna as they walked. Her movements were even more lethargic and staggered than they had been the other day.

“We really need to find water. Going another day without it would be…”

B’Elanna didn’t have to finish her sentence for both to know what she was implying. They let the unsaid words hang in the air around them, pushing them onwards in the onslaught of their doom.

“I’m sure we’ll find something here. As we get closer to the surface there’s bound to be some sort of water source.”

As they marched onwards, both women decided to hold on to that fraction of hope. It was better than imagining the alternative. However, as they trekked on, praying to Voyager to come across even a small bounty of water, they forgot one of the most important unspoken rules of survival:

Be careful what you ask for.

-

An hour into their upward hike, the pair was forced to stop on account of a strange noise coming from a ways up the tunnel. At first, they assumed it was more Arachnomen, and promptly drew their phasers. But after a moment of listening, they realised that the sound wasn’t sharp enough to be that. Instead of the harsh, cutting clack of pincers on rock, this sound was more distant, grand, roaring. It swept across the tunnel with an almost eerie softness despite the increasing noise.

B’Elanna, having the clearer mind of the two, was the first to figure out what it was.

“FLASH FLOOD!

As the words escaped her mouth, a column of water came crashing down through the tunnels. The starfleet officers ran down the tunnel, stumbling down the steep path as the mountain of water surged after them.

Unsurprisingly, the water caught up first. It seized both of the women in its grip, dragging them along in its wake as it rushed down the tunnel at an incomprehensible speed. The humanoids inside the current thrashed violently. Their heads periodically broke the surface just long enough to take a breath, before they were slammed back down under the unforgiving force of the water.

In an instant, they swept past the cave they’d just spent the night in, and lurked back down the winding tunnel.

After being hurled against stone wall after stone wall, Janeway was relieved to see the current finally straighten out as it hurtled her towards the entrance of the cavern with the ravine. Just as she was about to be spat back into the open over, the Captain managed to grab hold of a small ledge at the top of the tunnel entrance. The second she did, a flash in the water caught her eye. With the speed of a viper she thrust her hand down into the furred, and grabbed hold of the Lieutenant’s hand. 

B’Elanna lurched to a halt, the wave of the flash flood continuing to ram into her as the Captain tried desperately to keep her grip. Janeway was pulled forward, the small handhold that she clung to threatened to give way as she fought desperately to pull B’Elanna out of the water.

It was a useless battle. One human, dehydrated, and exhausted and at the mercy of the poison in her veins didn’t stand a chance against the endless strength of the tide. Still, though, she refused to let go as the lip in the entrance began to crumble.

“Captain! YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO!” B’Elanna yelled over the roar of the flood, her brown eyes full of despair as she watched her Captain battle with all her strength to save her life. It hurt too much to watch. 

“I’M NOT LEAVING YOU!” Janeway responded, pulling harder against the current, ignoring the cracks that formed around her quivering hand.

“Captain—“

“We are in this together! We are down here together!” 

“The ledge is about to give way! You can’t hold on forever! You have to let go!”

The ledge crumbled even more, and Janeway felt every essence of her being torn between saving herself, and saving her friend.

They had been through so much in these tunnels together. Comforted each other when they were down. Healed each other when they were hurt. Kathryn didn’t think she would have been able to get nearly this far if it weren’t for B’Elanna, and she would bet that the same could be said vice versa. 

They were in this together. They had to stay together. But Janeway’s grip was weakening, arms shook with the effort of keeping them there, and she could feel her concentration clouding.

But the Captain wouldn’t leave her Lieutenant. Not now. Not ever.

She looked down at B’Elanna, a new found resolve washing over her as she met the engineer’s gaze. Torres must have seen it in her eyes. The choice she’d made. Because she immediately began to protest.

“Captain, wait, don’t—“

Her plea was cut off as Kathryn let go of the ledge. Immediately both women surged forward, and the Captain pulled B’Elanna tightly into her arms. The tide swallowed them into its watery depths. Their bodies were smashed, thrashed and tossed around as they slid into the cavern, but the pair held fast for each other.

The current took them both, throwing them over the cliff together. And, as their heads broke free of the water just enough to see ground below come rushing forward, the Captain closed her eyes. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

They were in this together.

They live together, they die together.

[romulanfucker]

rewatching resolutions, an episode that already makes me insane bc of its parallels to my all time fave tos episode journey to babel and also about vulcans in general bc of the way everybody tries to demonize tuvok for leaving janeway behind even though you Know its tearing him up inside as much if not more than everybody else but he refuses to contact the vidiians to save her because not only could he not live with himself if he brought any of the crew to harm but also!!!!! because he KNOWS one of the reasons she picked him to be in charge of the ship is because her greatest wish of all was to get the crew home and she knew he’d have the strength to do that, even if it meant abandoning her, and he doesn’t want to let down her faith in him (again, especially after he’s gone against her orders regarding getting the crew home before when he stole the illegal transporter part way back in season 1 and it almost ruined their relationship) and come back to get her saying ‘i am not the man you thought you could trust’ and it’d be even WORSE if anyone got hurt getting the cure for her like she’d never forgive him OR HERSELF so he’s protecting her just as much as the rest of the crew by leaving her there and she’s not alone she has chakotay and he’s trying SO hard to get her to make a home there and even tho they’ve been out of comms range for months tuvok would feel cruel to work against that effort and give false hope by even thinking of pursuing the vidiians who might know nothing anyways

but i was already insane about all that what im insane about NOW is the fact that he finally cracks. he finally gives in and says, no, even if this is betraying the trust she put in me I owe her and this crew too much to keep doing what I’m doing, IS WHEN KES COMPARES HIM TO HER DAD!!!!!!! ITS HIS FATHER INSTINCT KICKING IN ABOVE ALL ELSE THAT HE’S BASICALLY THE CREWS WEIRD ESOTERIC DAD FIGURE NOW AND WHAT KIND OF A PARENT IS HE IF HE LETS THEM BE MISERABLE ALL THE TIME EVEN IF THEYRE SAFER, NO, HE’S GONNA HAVE TO PRIORITIZE THEIR HAPPINESS AND FIGURE OUT PROTECTION AS HE GOES

[shadowtoherlight]

Hi hi hi Trek fam. ‘Specially my J/C peeps. Lemme just briefly describe my dream last night. 😊

You know how you’re just suddenly somewhere. So I’m suddenly at a space station. Walking with someone else in a green/blue shirt. Hustlin and bustlin starts happening. Me and Starfleet Colleague hustle over to the operations center, where everyone is hella frantic, most especially one Captain Chakotay, who’s giving orders like they’re the only thing stopping him from falling into an abyss. Suddenly an intrepid-class vessel comes legitimately barrel-rolling out of the nebula we’re perched on and then floats, dead in the water… er, space. The frantic-ness halts, Ops is silent as a grave. I’m panicking without a sound because that tumble did NOT look good. Captain Chakotay asks about crew status in a voice that sounds like he’s forgotten how to breathe. The man damn near collapses against a console when someone says all 187 biosignatures are accounted for. Me, Starfleet Colleague, and Another Starfleet Colleague are ordered to follow the Captain to Transporter Room B. We been over to the ship, and of course Janeway is behind the transport console. Wearing yellow, which was very odd, but evidently she was not Captain of this ship. But Y’all when I say she and Chakotay SPRINTED to each other, I’m talking idk how they didn’t split atoms. The most beautiful beautiful, adoring, emotional display ensues. Many tears. I’m crying, the two commanders in front of me are crying as they kiss, my Starfleet Colleagues are awkwardly shuffling their feet lmao. AND THEN. AND. THEN. Janeway gasps, turns around, and yells “Taya!! Taya, come here!”

FOLKS. I glimpse this tiny child in a red and black little Starfleet-uniform-esque dress, and I’m telling you, my soul left this realm and passed BEYOND the next one, into a space where all things are nothing and nothing is all things. So. Little girl peeks out from behind the transport controls, then runs to mommy’s legs and giggles as she looks up at daddy (because it is beyond obvious that this is Chakotay’s child, Like, idk how, but my subconscious did a damn good job with casting) for the first time. Chakotay looks like he’s just died and gone to paradise. Janeway is crying again while she’s smiling and watching him kneel down and say his daughter’s name in the softest, gentlest tone you’ve ever heard. And this child just BARRELS into her father, so enthusiastically that she almost knocks him over. Chakotay is just so obviously over the moon, sun, and every Star as he hugs little Taya. Happiest man in the universe. At this point Janeway looks up and had clearly forgotten the three of us other Young Starfleet’s that had arrived with Captain Chakotay, if the look of surprise on her face is anything to go by. She straightens up a little and swipes at her face, then asks what exactly had happened. Chakotay stands up holding Taya, who’s resting her head on daddy’s shoulder, and he nods at me, so I tell Janeway that they had been trapped in a Dark Cloud Nebula for 2 years, which was evidently the nebula the station was perched on. The station could see the ship, but couldn’t communicate, couldn’t get biosigns or transport capabilities, nothing. Basically they were swimming around in a very large fish bowl. Apparently every time we tried to send a ship in after the No Name Intrepid Class, it bounced off the edge of the nebula. So for two years we just watched No Name Intrepid Class swing around and around this nebula with no way out. Janeway said that every time they reached the edge of the nebula they would bounce off of it no matter what they tried. The Void 2.0, basically. Except nobody knows what got them out. Janeway said they just suddenly lost helm control and were tearing towards the edge of the nebula and somehow broke through it. Chakotay looks at Janeway and says “you skipped your pre-boarding physical, didn’t you?” which, of course she looks sheepish because of course she did and IF SHE HADN’T MAYBE SHE WOULD HAVE KNOWN SHE WAS PREGO SAUCE AND AT LEAST TOLD HER HUSBAND. And maybe she wouldn’t have ended up in the Dark Cloud Nebula because maybe she would have wanted to do some prenatal scans or whatnot before going on an exploratory mission that we apparently knew was going to be a bit risky. But let’s be real, being pregnant would never stop Janeway.

So that’s mostly what I remember. The important stuff, obviously. When I woke up, I was thinking “why does the name Taya sound so familiar?“ And then I was like oh. That’s the feminine form of Chakotay, from the episode where everyone is giving B’elanna baby name suggestions. And I just want to give my subconscious a round of applause for recalling that minuscule detail that I never would have remembered otherwise.

[reedalert]

Home is here

Prompt: Could you write a fluffy fic where y/n is like s daughter to both Janeway and the Doctor? She is an Ensign and admires both of them. The crew tease her about it endlessly. Also she' s a fellow coffee addict like Janeway.

Requested by: anon

Word count: 750

Pairing(s): Janeway x reader (platonic), The Doctor x reader (platonic)

Notes and Warnings: mentions of a panic attack

You had grown accustomed to being lost in the Delta Quadrant. After 3 years, it was natural for you to wake up and not have your mother wait for you with fresh breakfast on the table and not seeing your father looking through the daily news on a PADD. At times, however, the feeling of being homesick, lonely and hopeless took you over. This happened especially on special days: a birthday, anniversary, celebration.

Today was one of those days. You jolted up in bed, a nightmare refusing to haunt you. You managed to turn the light on before starting to suffer from a severe panic attack: tears were rolling down your face as you were struggling to breathe, everything seeming too distant to reach. You tapped your combadge:

“ Y/L/N to sickbay. I….. need… help.”

The Doctor sent someone after you, you couldn’t remember who it was. When you woke up, you found yourself on a biobed in sickbay, the Doctor hovering over you gently.

“Good morning, Ensign. I trust you slept well after my intervention.”

“Good morning, Doc. Yes, I feel fine now, thank you.”

The hologram smiled. He examined a few readings and set down his tricorder next to you as you sat up. Then, he turned to you, with a bit more of a concerned look on his face.

“I’m worried about you, Y/N. I’ve noticed that you’re getting panic attacks more frequently and they are more intense, too. As ship’s physician, I need to know if there’s something going on.”

“I… I guess it’s just been a bit overwhelming. I’ve been thinking about home a lot.” You started to tear up.

“Oh, dear. You know, if you need anything, I’m always here for you.”

You couldn’t help but lean in and hug the Doctor. He was a bit taken aback at first, but he quickly embraced you as you were clinging onto him for dear life. You were always fascinated by him and certainly thankful that he was always the first one to help, even though he knew nothing about what you could be feeling, really. He just took you under his protection, like a father would, ever since you first met him.

You were still recovering from your stressful night. Ensign Swinn invited you to have lunch with her, she wanted to distract you somehow.

“So, you spent another night at your favorite Starfleet dad’s place again, hmm?”

“What do you mean?” you giggled.

“Oh, it’s no secret, you look up to him. Everyone on the ship knows he’s basically like your father at this point.” She poked your shoulder.

“Yeah, well I needed to comfort myself some way or another. He was very accepting from the start and I guess I just needed a bit of guidance.”

You looked at the time and realized you had to get going.

“Where are you headed?” your friend asked.

“I have a meeting with Captain Janeway. I don’t want to be late.”

“Ah, so now you’re visiting your mom. It’s a family reunion!” She laughed and waved you goodbye.

“Come in.” The Captain said.

You walked in hands behind your back, feeling a mixture of anxiety and happiness.

“Hello, Ensign.” She smiled warmly.

“Captain.” You nodded your hair.

“At ease, Y/N/L. This is casual, candid conversation.”

You let go of your stiffness.

“Come on, sit down. Can I get you something?” Janeway offered.

“Coffee, black, please.”

“Ah, a person after my own heart.” She winked at you as the replicator whirred. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, Captain.” You immediately felt reassured.

“So, Y/N, what’s been on your mind?”

“I’ve been struggling again… Captain, I promise I’m not weak, I am a Starfleet officer, I…”

“Hey, it’s okay, everything is fine! Everyone has a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, Ensign. That doesn’t mean they are weak. We’re in a very tough situation, nobody expects you to be in top form all the time. Just tell me what’s going on so I can help you.”

“I’ve just been really homesick… it’s my mother’s birthday today, so I’ve been thinking a lot about her.”

“Oh, you poor thing.” She embraced you and you put your head on her shoulder.

You spent a solid hour talking to each other. At the end of the day, you went to bed, calm and content, knowing this time your sleep won’t be disturbed by your painful thoughts. One thing was certain: you finally realized you had a family and home on Voyager.

[sharpnothashtag]

The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 27

Bev, exhausted from a day of surgery and tutoring, collapses in her bed.  Seven of Nine immediately enters her quarters.

Bev: We just had a 17 hour day, Seven.  What could you possibly need? Seven: I wanted to update you on the number of Borg we have in the recovery chamber. Bev: And that couldn’t wait until morning? Seven: There are surgeries in progress right now.  The number might change. Bev: FiNe. (is so tired she starts to change in front of Seven and prepare her bed for the evening) Seven: (in proper Seven fashion, unphased) We have 20 humanoids recovering from surgery right now.  Erin is able to speak in full sentences and sit up on her own now.  I predict she will make a full recovery. Bev: (wearing her blankets as capes) Splendid.  Now go away. Seven: (on autopilot, not budging) Counselor Troi reports that her counselors are beginning week 2 of their studies, and the results in conventional trauma volunteers are promising. Bev: (in the middle of a hot milk toddy, in a comfy nighty, sitting on the bed) Brilliant.  Leave. Seven: The Doctor--(interrupted by the sight of KJ coming out of the bathroom.  KJ sees the look on Bev’s face of pure exhaustion.) KJ: Seven, you’re dismissed.  That’s Starfleet for “Get out.” Seven: (as if back on Voyager) Yes, Captain. (turns and leaves)

KJ snickers and lays down next to a weary Bev.  Bev rolls over to face KJ.

Bev: Tell me about your trip here.  I’m really glad to see you. (small kiss)  KJ: (kisses back briefly) Bev, we can talk about that tomorrow when you’re not asleep with your eyes open. Bev: No, (yawn) no.  I want to know about your day.  What about your mother? (through a yawn) What did she say about u--(sleep)

KJ smiles.  She kisses Bev on the forehead as if to say, “Sleep well; I love you.”  She rolls over and tries to fall asleep.  As she does, visions of the last week fill her head.  She flashes back.

Gretchen Janeway: Katie.  My Katie. KJ: Hi, Mom.  (they hug for a while. from the hug)  GJ: I thought I’d never see you again. KJ: (confused) You’ve seen me since I got back from the Delta Quadrant. GJ: (incredulously) Are you forgetting you fought the Borg since then? KJ: Well...I, uh--I guess I forgot you knew about what was going on. GJ: (finally letting the hug go) Katie, I’m old, but I’m not blind.  Or deaf.  Do you know how many people ask me if we’re related when I’m out walking Rocco and Molly? (on cue, two large Irish setters emerge from behind the dog gate and tackle KJ) KJ: (laughing) I am so glad to see you guys!  (petting, loving on, and playing with them)  GJ: (sitting down on the floor) They’ve missed you so much. (Beat) She asks about you, you know? KJ: (a look as if her blood ran cold) You mean she woke up? GJ: It’s touch and go.  The last time she was awake, though, I told her how you were coming home. KJ: After all the damage done, she still remembers me. GJ: You’re her sister.  Of course she does. KJ: But her brain...it’s being eaten, cell by cell. GJ: You don’t have to put it that way. KJ: Yes, I do.  That’s what’s happening. GJ: Just because that’s the science of it doesn’t mean you have to actually phrase it that way.  KJ: What would you rather me say?  Hmm?  Would you rather me say that my baby sister tried to kill herself?  That she was dead for an hour?  That the doctors thought they saved her? GJ: They did save her, Kathryn. KJ: She had a stroke! GJ: One of their interns had asked to be in on the original surgery.  She wanted to know exactly how to repair a spine from that kind of fall.  She didn’t know she was sick. KJ: Is that supposed to make me feel better?   GJ: The intern was immediately terminated from her position.  Phoebe was supposed to make a full recovery.  They spent another full day in surgery to try to make sure they cleared all signs of the virus. KJ: Phoebe is literally being eaten alive, inside out, by an infection.   GJ: WHY do you have to say it like that?! KJ: BECAUSE. (struggling, trying not to sob) If I say it the way you want me to say it, I’m going to lose all my shit. GJ: (taking her to the couch gently.  Molly whines at KJ because she knows she’s upset.  KJ pets her absently and goes to the couch.  Molly hops up on the couch with her and tries to distract her.) Katie, come on.  Phoebe is dying, yes.  She won’t be with us anymore.  The way the doctors talk, it won’t be long now.  Before too long, she’ll be completely wasted away in front of us.  But the way I see it, this way, I get to say goodbye. KJ: What do you mean? GJ: If she would have succeeded, I would have never gotten the chance to tell her I love her one last time.  I never would have gotten to replicate her her favorite breakfast, or help her paint, or dictate a story she came up with.  I have cherished the last few years. And now that you’ve come home, I want you to cherish this time with her, too. KJ: What do I do? GJ: She’s your sister.  Treat her like you would normally. KJ: Okay.

GJ and KJ join hands.  They walk to a room.  The door opens on a very sick woman.  She’s completely emaciated; her collarbone juts out.  She’s in a lot of pain, but upon seeing KJ, she smiles broadly.   Rocco goes to her with a proud sense of loyalty.

Phoebe Janeway: Katie! KJ: (chuckling in spite of herself) Hey there, Pheebs.  (looking around, she sees a portrait of her, standing on a starship bridge with her hands on her hips.) What’s this? PJ: Didn’t you know? KJ: Know what? GJ: Oh, Katie.  You’d better sit down.

KJ in the present wakes up in tears.  She goes to the living area.  She replicates a fuzzy blanket and some coffee.  She takes a few sips of coffee and then, lying down on the couch, starts a few breathing exercises.  They don’t work, and she continues to try to cry quietly.

Bev wakes up to go to the bathroom.  When she sees KJ isn’t in bed, she gets up to look for her.

Bev: Kate? KJ: (sniffling) Yeah? Bev: (going to her on the couch)  Kate!  What’s wrong? KJ: (sobbing profusely) My sister killed herself because of me. Bev: What?  No.  (obviously still exhausted) What happened? KJ: Three years ago, when Voyager was declared lost, Starfleet command asked my sister to paint a portrait of me to hang at headquarters. She went up to the roof of her apartment building, and she began to paint. Hours later, when she was done, she sat back to look at the painting. My “death” weighed so heavily on her that she threw herself off the roof. Bev: Oh no, Kate.(stroking her hair) KJ: Someone found her immediately and got her to medical. Her spine and skull were severely fractured, but the doctors got right to it. One of the interns asked to assist in the surgery for first hand experience of how to fix a spine and skull that were so badly fractured. She didn’t realize she was very ill until halfway through the surgery. She became ill within a sterile environment with an extremely vulnerable patient unconscious before her. The doctors did all they could to clean her wounds out, but the day after her surgery was over, she had a massive stroke. The viral parasite was in place, and there was nothing they could do to remove it. Bev: Viral parasite? KJ: Basically, it’s a strain of a virus so vicious that it’s comparable to a parasite. (Bev nods) while I was home, she told me all this. Bev: and you think if you wouldn’t have left, she wouldn’t be like this. KJ: she would be alive and well and able to be my maid of honor if I get married. But she’s...not. She’s dead. (rocking back and forth, sobbing profusely) Bev: Computer, replicate weighted blanket, ten pounds, jersey knit. (Bev retrieves the blanket and places it over KJ’s shoulders. KJ relaxes a bit, but still collapses into a puddle of tears in Bev’s lap.) Kate, I am always going to be here for you. The late nights, the tears? I signed on for that, too. I will be there at the funeral, right by your side. Nothing is more important to me than you right now, right here. So cry all you need to. I’m going to shut up now and just hold you for as long as it takes. I love you.

[trek-tracks]

1, 4, 19, 40, 47 for the star trek asks, please!

1. Top 3 favorite female characters?

Going by main characters only:

1. Beverly Crusher (was that not abundantly obvious)

2. Kira Nerys

3. Kathryn Janeway

(Runners up: Seven, Troi, Dax)

I love Uhura, but we don’t actually get enough development with her. (I guess I love the Uhura in my head.)

There are some characters in Disco I may grow to love, but we’re not there yet.

4. Favorite alien species?

Favourite generally-antagonistic alien species: Cardassians.

Favourite generally-heroic alien species: Vulcans. (Trek pretty much can’t live without them.)

Favourite generally-adorable alien species: Unicorn Dogs.

19. You can undo one plot point, which do you choose?

I feel like this and 30 are basically the same question. Make at least the end of Generations not happen, and reunite the TOS crew for elderly space adventures.

Or: have Gates McFadden not get fired at the end of the first season of TNG and have Rick Berman get fired instead, resulting in the women on that show getting the storylines and respect they deserved! What a good plot point to change!

I’d also be interested to watch a version of Discovery where regular (not Mirrorverse) Georgiou lived.

40. If you got a trek inspired tattoo what would it be?

I am, at present, ink-free. A trek tattoo would be neat. What I find most inspiring about Trek are the words, and I’m not actually too into wordy tattoos as a concept. 

I also wouldn’t want a character’s face, or anything like that, because it feels uncomfortably close to putting a tattoo of a real person on your body. Having once dated an actor who found some popularity from one splashy role, I just get so uncomfortable with anything that seems close to infringing on the comfort of actual people, Real Person Fiction-style. I’ve seen it happen in my own life, though not in tattoo form.

I like the idea of a Starfleet Delta on a multicoloured, watercolour-style background. The only other thing I can think of would either be a small TOS-style hypospray or medical tricorder crossed with a communicator - to represent my work in communications combined with my wishes for future medical technology.

47. An unpopular opinion you have?

Okay, so - I like Worf, though he’s not my favourite character. I enjoy individual Klingon characters. Martok’s awesome. I love K’Ehlyr. I get the aesthetic. They’re great for meme fodder, and I’m glad they exist.

Klingon stories and stories about Klingon society as a whole, though? Tend to bore me absolutely to tears. Yes, yes, honour, today is a good day to die, painsticks. Cool motive; still boring. I just want to smack everyone’s heads together, and not in the good, frustration-can-be-an-integral-part-of-storytelling way.

Thank you for asking!!

[lodessa]

Janeway/Chakotay, Pacific Rim AU

Okay well, obviously they are drift compatible (So are Janeway & Tuvok, Tom [whose first copilot died due to his recklessness] & Harry, Kes is the first person to ever successfully drift with an AI [the EMH], B’Elanna is drift compatible with Tom but would rather build/fix Jaegers... also the intimacy of the drift freaks her out but of course there’s that moment where they have to do it anyway).

Basically the powers that be decided it was too much effort per benefit to try and protect islands like Hawaii and Guam and people could evacuate or expect to get Kaiju-ed, and Chakotay and the rest of the Maquis rebelled and decided they were going to protect them anyway.

Now the government wants those Jaegers back and sends Janeway to retrieve them/bring the rebels into custody (after losing contact with Tuvok who was still sent undercover to investigate them).  Unfortunately, a secondary rift opens up and pulls them all into an alien world (not the kaiju’s but another race fighting back against the kaiju (maybe the Ocampa or maybe a collection of other races actually) in their own way).

So they team up to defeat the kaiju once and for all and of course to get back home.   

Janeway and Chakotay never even planned to get in a Jaeger together but of course it happens and, as always, they fall in love and refuse to talk about it (but it is very present and obvious in the drift).  

What’s actually worse is when (formerly kaiju possessed) Seven collaborates with B’Elanna using the data from Kes’ drift with the EHM to create a non lethal single pilot jaeger system supplemented by AIs and they don’t have an excuse to have that intimacy anymore.  It tears them both apart from the inside.

(Yes there is a happy ending where they defeat the kaiju and get home and Janeway finds Chakotay in the middle of rebuilding efforts of his home island and there is a very passionate reunion followed by actually physically following through on all those shared drift fantasies.)

[aion-rsa]

Star Trek: Enterprise’s Recycled Episodes

https://ift.tt/3Bi6jp1

One of the things Star Trek became somewhat infamous for in the late 1990s and early 2000s was recycling old plots in new episodes. Voyager and Enterprise both featured several episodes throughout their runs that seemed to be re-runs of earlier stories from The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine or even the Original Series, with a slight tweaking to the setting.

Originality in fiction is often over-rated – Shakespeare didn’t make up his own plots, and simply noting the use of an existing plot or theme is not, in itself, a criticism. However, it is important for a new version of an old story to put its own stamp on that story. Each new version should bring something slightly different to the table and put its own twist on the material.

Read more

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Star Trek: Picard — Could Season 3 See Jean-Luc’s Starfleet Return?

By Kayti Burt

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Do Star Trek Characters Watch Star Trek?

By Ryan Britt

Here, then, we’re looking at ten episodes of Enterprise that were “recycled” from earlier Star Trek series and asking whether Enterprise improved on the old formula, or whether the earlier episode was the better outing. We’re focusing on episodes recycled from other branches of the Star Trek franchise for this list, so we won’t mention other examples, like “Shuttlepod One”’s strong resemblance to Red Dwarf’s “Marooned.” Though that one is worth a mention. They’re both really good.

“Terra Nova” (Season 1, Episode 6)

Recycled from: “Friendship One,” Season 7, Episode 21 of Voyager

“Friendship One” was an odd episode of Voyager, as it featured the crew going on a mission set for them by Starfleet, something they didn’t do in earlier seasons because they had no contact with Starfleet for most of the show’s run. As such, it has a very “typical 90s Trek” feel to it, like this could easily have been an episode of The Next Generation or even Deep Space Nine. Or, of course, Enterprise. The fact both episodes take place mostly in the same “caves” standing set on Paramount’s Stage 16 doesn’t help. Both stories feature hostile groups who are suffering radiation poisoning, though in the case of “Friendship One,” it’s the result of aliens using human technology incorrectly (hello, justification for the Prime Suggestion) whereas in “Terra Nova,” the human settlers have been hit by an random asteroid strike.

Who did it better? The Voyager episode has the more philosophically interesting set-up and is notable for bringing back Lt Carey after five years only to kill him off, but “Terra Nova” fits in much better with the “scary space dangers” themes of Enterprise’s first season than Voyager’s random guilt trip thrown in right at the end of the show’s run. “Friendship One” is also, let’s face it, really rather dull. “Terra Nova” isn’t the best Enterprise has to offer, but it just about has the edge here.

“Oasis” (Season 1, Episode 20)

Recycled from: “Shadowplay,” Season 2 Episode 16 of Deep Space Nine

This one is probably the most egregious example on this list, because both episodes star René Auberjonois. Auberjonois guest stars as the chief engineer of a “haunted” ship in the Enterprise episode, but the story repeats elements, including the final twist, of a Deep Space Nine episode that heavily featured his own character, Odo. In both cases, an entire group of people turn out to be holograms of the dead, created by a middle aged white man wanting to recreate his lost loved ones. We love to see the late and much-missed Auberjonois in anything, but this was a strange episode to have him guest star in.

Who did it better? Although it’s tempting to complain about the Enterprise episode, given that it’s the second of the two and the stories are so close as to be almost identical, we’re actually going to give Enterprise the preference here. The “haunted ship” idea is cool, and the relationship between Auberjonois’ Ezral and his daughter, for whom he has re-created the crew including her dead mother, not only brings extra depth to the story, it also recalls Shakespeare’s The Tempest and the classic 1950s film “Forbidden Planet,” which partly inspired Star Trek in the first place. So we’ll say Enterprise actually improved on this story and it was worth recycling – though a different guest star might have been a good idea.

“Vanishing Point” (Season 2, Episode 10)

Recycled from: “The Next Phase,” Season 5 Episode 24 of The Next Generation

Star Trek isn’t the only franchise to deep its toe in the “out of phase” well, but The Next Generation’s “The Next Phase” is a classic of the sub-genre, in which Geordi and Ro think they’ve died and attend their own funeral before realising they are, in fact “out of phase” with everyone else and still very much alive. Enterprise’s Vanishing Point is a twist on this idea, with Hoshi’s fears surrounding transporter technology playing out as a terrifying experience in which she slowly disappears from view as a result of a transporter malfunction, only to discover none of it really happened and it was all just a paranoid delusion.

Who did it better? It almost could have gone to Enterprise, as “Vanishing Point” is genuinely creepy, not to mention being a rare opportunity to explore Hoshi’s character. But that final “it was all a dream” twist, the one that every writing teacher tells you never to use in your first writing class, lets it down, so we’ll give the win to The Next Generation for a more thoughtful reflection on life and death.

“Precious Cargo” (Season 2, Episode 11)

Recycled from: “Elaan of Troyius,” Season 3 Episode 13 of the Original Series, and “The Perfect Mate,” Season 5 Episode 21 of The Next Generation

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. How is it possible that a franchise as forward-looking as Star Trek has made this episode not once, but three times?! Basically, the story is that there is alien princess (or upper class woman) who is on her way to a political arranged marriage that borders on forced, or in Enterprise’s case, who has been kidnapped. She ends up falling for Kirk/Picard/Trip, but in the end goes back to her duty – marriage in the first two cases, ruling as First Monarch in the third. All three are epically sexist in various different ways, depending on whether they were produced in the 1960s, 1990s, or 2000s.

Who did it better? Here’s the thing – all of these episodes are bad. There are those who give “The Perfect Mate” a bit of a pass because it’s always fun to watch Patrick Stewart and Famke Janssen together, but if you want to do that, just go watch the X-Men movies. “Precious Cargo” is not a good episode of Enterprise, but it is actually not quite as bad as the other two – the “stranded on a deserted island” aspect is kind of fun, and of the three horribly sexist episodes, it may be the least sexist – at least Kaitaama is able to suggest Trip comes to visit her at the end, instead of leaving forever pretending to be bonded to someone else (Kamala) or leaving in tears while her paramour cheerfully goes back to his ship (Elaan). So, perhaps surprisingly, we’re going to give this one to Enterprise.

“Dawn” (Season 2, Episode 13)

Recycled from: “Darmok,” Season 5 Episode 2 of The Next Generation

Dawn does not have the best reputation online, but it’s an episode that deserves reconsideration. It’s a classic story of two mutual enemies stranded in a hostile environment, forced to work together to survive. It’s tense, it’s a nice character piece for Trip, and it works its way to an obvious but satisfying conclusion. What brings it particularly close to “Darmok” is the complication that Trip is stranded without a functioning universal translator, creating an added communication barrier (this also happened in “Voyager’s Gravity,” but there the alien fell in love with Tuvok instead of trying to kill him). However, unlike “Darmok,” there is nothing particularly unusual about the alien language – the translator simply isn’t working, and once they’re back on the Enterprise, they can understand each other perfectly. This is at the root of the episode’s poor reputation. Because “Darmok” approached the idea of an alien language in a really interesting and unusual way, this similar episode with a simple malfunctioning translator comes off poorly in comparison.

Who did it better? “Dawn” is seriously under-rated, but “Darmok” is a classic, so this one is going to have to go to The Next Generation. Shaka, when the walls fell.

“Judgment” (Season 2, Episode 19)

Recycled from: Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country and “Tribunal,” Season 2 Episode 25 of Deep Space Nine

This episode isn’t so much recycling one of the best Star Trek movies as deliberately paying homage to it, building sets that recreate the Klingon court and the prison of Rura Penthe from the film as closely as possible on a TV budget and telling a similar story. Archer’s experience of an alien trial where the outcome has been decided before it begins also echoes Chief O’Brien’s experience with the Cardassians in Deep Space Nine. “Judgement” is a very good episode that calls back to the movie very effectively while also expanding the franchise’s mythology around the Klingons and Klingon culture – while it may not be entirely original, this is a good example of a creative re-use of old tropes.

Who did it better? The Undiscovered Country has a completely unfair advantage here, as it has a feature film’s budget and a runtime of nearly two hours. But life isn’t fair, and while all three are pretty good, it’s the best of the bunch.

“Similitude” (Season 3, Episode 10)

Recycled from: “Tuvix,” Season 2 Episode 24 and “Drone,” Season 5 Episode 2 of Voyager

If you know nothing else about Captain Janeway, you probably know that Janeway killed Tuvix in the infamous episode of the same name, in order to restore Tuvok and Neelix after they were blended together in a transporter accident. Later, she was spared having to make another difficult choice when newborn drone One – also the result of a transporter accident – commits suicide in order to protect Voyager from the Borg. But for all the flack Janeway gets, somehow no one blames Archer and Phlox when they deliberately create a clone of Trip with a shortened lifespan to save Trip’s life, and pretty much bully the poor guy into giving up his life for Trip rather than trying to have as much life of his own as he can, which he doesn’t have much choice about anyway as he’ll die before he gets anywhere interesting. It is horrifying. Justice for Sim!

Who did it better? “Similtude” blends two rather good episodes of Voyager and the ethics of it are dodgy in the extreme. Voyager gets the win here, though whether the ultimate prize goes to “Tuvix” or “Drone” is a matter of personal opinion.

“Doctor’s Orders” (Season 3, Episode 16)

Recycled from: “One,” Season 4 Episode 25 of Voyager

The premise for this one is simple: the entire crew have to go into stasis for a while, except for one or two members who are impervious to the biological threat. Originally, this was a way to explore Seven of Nine coming to terms with her life as an individual, by isolating her almost completely. Enterprise puts Phlox in that position – while he has never been a Borg drone, Phlox is a very sociable, chatty character with three wives and a huge, complicated family, so isolation is hard on him too. Both are pretty good episodes, with a “haunted spaceship” vibe and a sense that not everything is as it seems.

Who did it better? This is a really hard one to call, because they’re both very similar and they’re both pretty good. One has Seven’s Borg background to add extra weight to the story, but on the other hand “Doctor’s Orders” has Porthos in the traditional “cute dog in a haunted house story” role. Give it to Enterprise if you like dogs, and to Voyager if you don’t.

E² (Season 3, Episode 21)

Recycled from: “Children Of Time,” Season 5 Episode 22 of Deep Space Nine

In both of these episodes, some timey-wimey weirdness results in our heroes meeting their own descendants, plus one or two long-lived members of their own group. In both cases, these descendants end up dead, wiped from existence, or possibly both. Both stories focus a fair bit of attention on possible future romantic relationships among the crew, a theme Star Trek has touched on numerous times over the years, though in Enterprise there is the added confirmation for the characters that humans and Vulcans can reproduce together (though of course, the audience already knows that). Both episodes are pretty decent without being stunningly brilliant, and both are a bit of a downer.

Who did it better? Enterprise puts in a good effort, but the dark conclusion to “Children Of Time,” in which Old Odo willingly sacrifices his friends’ children and grandchildren just to save Kira, means we have to give it to Deep Space Nine.

“Daedalus” (Season 4, Episode 10)

Recycled from: “Jetrel,” Season 1, Episode 15 of Voyager

These episodes have different themes, with Jetrel being inspired by the idea of a survivor from Hiroshima meeting Oppenheimer, while Daedalus, like the Greek myth, is about the relationship between a father and son. What both have in common is a guest character who wants to use the transporter system to rescue someone. The title character in “Jetrel” wants to bring back an entire planet’s worth of people – Emory Erikson in Daedalus just wants to rescue his son, and is marginally more successful, since although his son still ends up dead, he is at least rescued from a half-life in a transporter buffer.

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Who did it better? Jetrel is a good episode and an especially good hour for the usually comedic character of Neelix, but the titular scientist’s plan is so audacious, it seems a bit ridiculous that he thought it could work. Erikson’s desire to save just one person and the emotional pull of the father-son relationship slightly give Enterprise the edge here, in an episode that’s a bit obvious, but nonetheless emotionally affecting. It’s also, like much of Enterprise, rather under-rated. Enterprise was an old-fashioned sort of show, and it wasn’t always the most original of offerings, but it was good, classic Star Trek, and deserves to be recognised as such.

The post Star Trek: Enterprise’s Recycled Episodes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep2: The Gift

Kes's last episode- even though Kes hasn't been one of my favorites for a long time, it still makes me cry buckets of tears.

The fact that half of Kes's last episode is about Seven of Nine is kind of indicative of how much they didn't care about Kes anymore, but at least the scenes with Seven were character driven stuff that tried to flesh her out more. Jeri Ryan did a great job showing Seven's Borg confidence eroding and her descent into panicking like a trapped rat as she realized Janeway wasn't going to take her back to the Borg. She and Kate Mulgrew played off each other well, with Janeway in full tough love Space Mom mode, which even a Borg would be foolish to underestimate.

I'm glad they didn't try to stick any space anomaly or alien plot into this ep, since it didn't need it at all. One character becoming un-Borged, and another character turning into some sort of magical noncorporeal being is enough drama for any episode, and I wish Star Trek trusted it's audience enough to dispense with those outside peril plots and focus on the character driven drama more often, since the characters are what we care about, and why we watch.

The little moments they give to Kes and her closest friends here aren't explicitly goodbyes, but they end up being little buttons on the end of those relationships- telling the Doctor she'd like to stay and help in sickbay today, because she hasn't seen him much lately and misses him; doing her guided meditations with Tuvok; having a glass of champagne with Neelix, for old times sake- they have a very sweet, kind of sad conversation that shows the deep bond between them, and I wish they'd have let him be kind to her like that when they were a couple, it could have been so much better. All of these are so poignant because the audience and the actors know they're the last, even if the characters don't. They have such a strong sense of family about them, and it just sucks to have Kes have to leave all that behind. They at least made her excited about ascending into some kind of magical being, and tried to spin it as a positive change, but it still hurts to have a character you've gotten to know over a few years be basically shoved aside without much buildup or fanfare.

The scene between Janeway and Kes, when Kes tells her she's leaving, is one of the ones that always makes me cry. When Janeway cries, it always sets me off, but this one had a particular weight to it, since it wasn't just Kes and Janeway saying goodbye in the scenes, it was Jennifer Lien and Kate Mulgrew saying goodbye in real life as well. Their tears are very real, and it hurts, but it's the one scene that provides real closure for Kes's departure. They so beautifully conveyed the mother-daugher relationship that Janeway and Kes have, and the moment when a parent realizes their child is grown up, and grown up right, and is ready to go on their own way. It was a nice counterpoint to Janeway's struggles with Seven of Nine, as Seven childishly lashes out, and tells Janeway how bad she is for forcing her to be human, and not giving her her freedom- meanwhile, at the same time, Janeway is letting Kes have her freedom, and letting her go become whatever she needs to be, even if it takes her away from Voyager. Though Seven can't see it from where she is then, Janeway absolutely does want to give her that freedom, one day when she's ready. Seven, never having known love since the childhood she can't remember, can't grasp that Janeway has just adopted her, just like she did with Kes, and every member of her crew.

As much as I have criticisms about both Kes and Seven of Nine as characters, for various reasons, I still do wish Kes could have stayed, and been allowed to grow beyond a space waif ingenue. I think it actually would have been extremely interesting for Kes and Seven to have gotten to know eachother, considering how opposite they are in almost every way. But four female main characters in one show would have been too revolutionary, I guess. (It never ceases to amaze me that some men still complain about Voyager being 'mostly women', when the majority of the main cast was still men. 6 to 3 isn't even a half and half split!)

It seemed pretty stupid to let Seven have access to any ship systems when she's clearly still bent on going back to the Borg, but I guess they have to make stupid decisions for there to be a plot. After saving Seven's life with her telekinetic powers in the beginning of the episode, Kes uses her powers to stop Seven from contacting the Borg. Then Kes starts phasing in and out of reality, and explosions start happening around her, and she has to leave Voyager for the safety of the crew. Janeway and Tuvok manage to get her off the ship and into a shuttle before she destabilizes the whole ship, and we only get a brief shot of the bridge crew realizing Kes is leaving them for good before it happens. Before she totally dematerializes from our reality, she throws Voyager clear of Borg space, and 10 years closer to home.

From there, we go to the cargo bay, where Seven has had most of her Borg implants removed, and she's standing there looking like a Barbie doll in her high heels, blonde hair, and shiny corseted catsuit. (Which apparently the Doctor designed. Oh my god, literally why?? We already had him creeping on Kes, do we need him creeping on a new young blonde when Kes has barely been gone for a day?! He's just all chipper and pleased with himself about Seven's new Barbie look, and not even a bit sad that Kes is gone forever?! What???) Seven's incredibly dark storyline is so cheapened by objectifying her body so much- this character went through unimaginable horrors in her life, and is only now becoming human enough to realize it, and will soon have to confront that trauma, and yet they're trying to make her into Jessica Rabbit??? It's fucking insulting, my dudes. Put her in a uniform, you sexist pigs!!!

I wish instead of Seven's Barbie reveal, we'd have gotten a scene of the crew gathering to say a farewell toast to Kes, who'd been part of their family for three years, and is suddenly gone forever- that's got to be a big deal, every time they lose someone in such a small crew, and since Kes was a main character, I think the audience deserved that much. But as it is, the only glimpse we get of any of the crew mourning the loss of Kes is a bittersweet shot of Tuvok lighting his meditation lamp for her, and putting it in his window as he looks out at the stars. It's a beautiful shot, as it pulls back from his window until it's a tiny dot on the hull of the ship, as it heads off into the next star system, and the next adventure.

This one is such a mixed bag of emotions for me. I can't really love or hate it, it's a transitional episode that has some amazing moments, but it's very sad, on a lot of levels. I've never been truly satisfied with Kes or Seven's storylines in the show, so I'm always caught up in a lot what ifs and if onlys when watching either of them. I wanted better for both of them, but I know I'll never get it, so I guess I'll always be trying to make peace with the potential we never saw realized.

Tl;dr: An important episode featuring Kes's departure and the start of Seven's journey back to being human. It definitely goes for the jugular in terms of making you feel all kinds of emotions that are not comfortable, but maybe it's better for that. Not perfect, but an important character piece for Kes, Seven, and Janeway.

[icecream-junkie]

Book discussion: Homecoming & The Farther Shore

I’ve recently re-read the Star Trek Voyager novels Homecoming and The Farther Shore by Christie Golden for @voyager-book-club. I had read both originally in 2004 and didn’t remember much of the story other than that it had a lot of J/C scenes.

I’ve been shipping J/C pretty much ever since watching Caretaker when it originally aired on TV in 1996. It was my first ship ever and as such it has always had a special place in my heart. Therefore, it’s probably not much of a surprise that I enjoyed reading Homecoming.

However, I have to say that I generally liked the book mainly, because of all the amazing scenes we get for various characters I’ve come to love watching the show for 7 years. In comparison, the overall story arc was rather disappointing. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve enjoyed Homecoming more than The Farther Shore. The books are technically one story split into two books. The first part gives you all the character interaction and the second one delivers most of the action.

I love Homecoming, because I'm so attached to these characters and I wanted to see what happened to them, but when I read The Farther Shore I was basically just impatiently waiting for them to get through all the action so we could get back to the parts I enjoyed in the previous book and focus on the characters again.

This also explains why I highlighted 12 scenes in Homecoming, but only 6 in The Farther Shore (and that’s with some very liberal tagging towards the end) for further discussion in the book club when re-reading. I just didn’t care very much for the overall story arcs.

(Spoilers for the books below the cut. Continue reading at your own risk.)

It might have been different, if the author hadn’t tried to tell 3 stories at the same time. There’s a Borg plague, a holographic strike and a side story for B’Elanna in which she tries to come to terms with her Klingon heritage.

I love B’Elanna’s story and there are a few lovely scenes between her and Tom because of that storyline. Tom is very supportive and has her back, which I love, and the moment when B’Elanna’s mother dies at the end of The Farther Shore had me tear up.

However, the other two storylines feel a bit rushed, because Golden isn’t delving into them much. Personally, I think it would have been better to concentrate on one of these storylines and go into more detail than trying to tell 2 at the same time.

Anyway, things I loved about the books:

The doctor downloading everything he can find on human and Klingon infants to be able to babysit Miral Paris.

C/7 breaking up on page 44 of Homecoming. Golden really didn’t waste any time there. Now, usually I’m all for ship and let ship, but C/7 was just so badly done on the show that I’m glad to see it end. From day one Chakotay and Janeway had great chemistry, something that Seven and Chakotay were missing. I wouldn’t have minded C/7 as much as I did, if TPTB had written scenes for them that lead up to this relationship, which clearly showed that they developed feelings for each other somewhere along the way. But that’s not what they did. Instead, it all happened very suddenly from one episode to the next and as such wasn’t very believable.

Tom being a supportive husband and a great father. He’s willing to take care of their 3 week old daughter while B’Elanna goes off to search for her mother as part of some Klingon ritual that might very well kill her and in the end he agrees to move to a Klingon planet for her just like that. If that isn’t love then what is? I also like this as a story arc for Tom and not just for the P/T ship, because he’s always been the flirty flyboy on the show and it’s great to see him so committed.

Tom reconnecting with his father. I particularly liked the following scene:

(Source: Golden, C. (2003). Star Trek Voyager Homecoming. New York: Pocket Books. p. 104 & 105.)

All the J/C scenes that show the friendship between them and that there might still be hope for them to become more than friends now that Voyager is back in the Alpha Quadrant.

Kathryn reconnecting with her ex-fiancé Mark and his wife Carla. Mark and Kathryn were friends since childhood and I love that they still get along even though he is now married to another woman. It’s also nice to see Carla being confident enough not to mind that they are still friends and trying to become friends with Janeway as well. I really enjoyed all the girl talk scenes with the two of them. We never got to see Janeway bond with anyone like that on the show for obvious reasons, so it’s nice to see this side of her in the books.

Irene Hansen. She’s so lovely and everyone should have an aunt like her.

Dr Kaz. He’s precious and needs to be protected at all costs.

Janeway (and Voyager’s former bridge crew) being badass and awesome.

Last but least, in light of some people bitching about how awful a captain Discovery’s Gabriel Lorca is, because he’s not the typical hero archetype we usually get to see as Starfleet captains, I also liked to see an Admiral (Montgomery) crossing lines for the ‘greater good’. This clearly shows that there are, and always have been, Starfleet officers that were willing to go further than others, if the circumstances demanded it. Montgomery is considered a hero of the Dominion War, but he’s not the sparkling hero people obviously want a Starfleet captain to be.

 What I didn’t like (aside from what I’ve already discussed above):

Libby! She’s an awful Mary Sue and I really don’t care for her scenes at all. That fact that Harry is back with her at the end of The Farther Shore annoys me. He could do much better.

The idea of creating a Borg Queen. I mean, seriously?

Montgomery obviously being a red herring. It was a little too obvious for my liking.

The death of B’Elanna’s mother Miral. It’s a very emotional scene, and as such it really touched me when I read it, but I would have liked for the two of them to get a chance to reconnect.

[littletayyswriting]

Stay In My Arms (If You Dare)

Title: Stay In My Arms (If You Dare)

Author: LittleTayy

Rating: PG

Characters: Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay

Summary: Kathryn’s heart thundered in her chest, eyes wide and tear filled at his admission. She hadn’t imagined that he’d still feel that way for her; that he still loved her. They’d been through so much and her heart and mind had resigned themselves to the fact she’d always have to love him from afar, never to have him as her own.

Read On: ff.net or AO3

“Don't make me close one more door I don't want to hurt anymore Stay in my arms if you dare Or must I imagine you there Don't walk away from me I have nothing, nothing, nothing If I don't have you…”

‘I Have Nothing’ by Whitney Houston

                                                            -

It’s Voyager’s Homecoming Ball and the smile plastered onto her face is fake. She’d been wearing it well since Voyager had returned to the Alpha Quadrant and made its miraculous return home to Earth. The smile was starting to suffocate her now though; after all it’s been four weeks and she’s worn it through debriefings and ceremonies and she thinks, no one’s questioned her apparently undeniable happiness at being home.

And it’s not that she isn’t happy. Because she is, very much so, at having finally made it home after seven long and tumultuous years; but her happiness is surface deep. She had thought getting back to the Alpha Quadrant would leave her exuberant, it had been her sole mission the last seven years but now that she was here, she felt empty.

The emptiness was settling into her soul and her bones like it never had before and her heart ached with each moment that passed. It only got worse as her gaze, albeit her intentions otherwise, seemed to hone in on her First Officer and his whereabouts throughout the night. The fact he’d entered the ballroom with Seven, Annika, on is arm hadn’t escaped her notice. In fact, it only served to hurt her heart more.

With a sigh, she made her way towards a quiet, unoccupied corner of the room. She needed a moment to breathe and brood in peace; and to get away from the apparently handsy Admirals that seemed to be in attendance. It seemed her dress had invited some unwanted admirers.

Her dress was long forest green silk, the back scooping low, her hair wisped and curled around her shoulders. It was the most revealing thing she’d worn in seven years and she’d balked at it the first time she’d laid eyes on it. Even now she still felt a little unlike herself, actually unlike the Captain but she reminded herself, she didn’t have to be only the Captain anymore.

That thought alone should’ve brought relief to her but it didn’t. The heaviness she’d been feeling wouldn’t allow her to take joy in the smallest, simplest of offerings anymore. The only time since her feet had touched down on Earth that she felt any kind of happiness had been the all too brief hug she and Chakotay had shared only a week ago after their last debriefing. The hug had been short lived, both of them pulling away slowly, relishing the last feel of each other before they were recalled back to reality.

So lost in her ruminations, she hadn’t noticed the presence that had sidled up beside her; a remarkable feat really, considering she had always been so attuned to his body. Especially when it was so close to hers. His voice and warmth breath against her ear startled her, head whipping to the side to look at him quickly, smile spreading easily over her features as she saw the appearance of his dimples.

“Chakotay,” she breathed lowly, almost surprised he was even beside her. Her gaze flowed over him easily, reaching a hand out to touch his bicep lightly before taking a small step back, giving them space.

“Kathryn,” he greets her, voice like warm honey, “Finally taking a reprieve from the meet and greets?” he asked jovially, though there was an undeniable tone of understanding in his voice. He knew how taxing all the formalities would’ve been for her; how much she quite despised them. But she was the captain and it was unfortunate for her that she was to be the face of Voyager.

Kathryn laughed drily, shaking her head at his words. “I didn’t think I’d ever get away from Admiral Parsons,” she admitted, a smirk quirking her lips as she gazed up at her second in command. “He seemed determined to know every single little detail about the Delta Quadrant. Thank goodness Harry Kim’s parents wanted to meet me. I don’t think I’d have gotten away otherwise,” she snorts, shaking her head as she tears her eyes away from him, instead focusing out over the Ball taking place.

She’d sequestered herself into a corner, away from leery Admirals and gushing families, to take a minute for her self. It was far too much for her, far too overwhelming. Now, having him standing next to her, so close she could feel the heat radiating off his body, she felt almost claustrophobic.

“Why didn’t you signal me? You know I would’ve come to save you. It’s my job…” he trails off then, his expression hard to read.

She sighs then, looking down for a moment at the floor, taking a deep steadying breath. Looking back up at him, she saw the frown and furrowed eyebrows as his gaze burned into her; his look was intense and she suddenly felt fear spike through her.

The tension was thick between them and Kathryn wanted to turn tail and run. She couldn’t do this with him, not here and not now. But as he stepped closer, his chest only a hairsbreadth away from her bare arm, she felt a shiver run through her. As soon as their eyes connected, his dark chocolate brown into her ice blue, she knew she’d lost.

“Dance with me?” He asked, a large hand coming up in front of her, palm upturned, offering, as if sparks didn’t fly whenever their skin touched.

She hesitated, she really shouldn’t, and she knew it was dangerous. Once they were in each other’s arms, she wasn’t sure if she could conceivably let him go again. This was too close, too intimate but looking up into his eyes, she couldn’t deny him any longer.

“Of course,” she agreed, a large lilting smile gracing her features as she brought her hand up to rest in his waiting one. She gives his hand a gentle squeeze as she notices the bright smile that flits across his face as he takes her hand and leads her out onto the dance floor in the centre of the room.

It takes them a moment to navigate around the tables and Admirals and crewmembers families but eventually, they make it to the dance floor, hands still gently entwined. There seemed to be a dozen or so couples swaying together on the dance floor already and as the music changed, Kathryn noticed with trepidation and delight that the couples seemed to press closer together. That fact, she was sure, wasn’t lost on the Commander but he did nothing but lead her more firmly onto the dance floor, his large hand still engulfing hers and urging her to face him. If she didn’t know any better, Kathryn would’ve assumed he’d somehow set up this almost intimate waltz that seemed to be playing.

His hand holds hers more securely now, as his arm moves to wrap around her waist, hand settling surprisingly low on her bare back. His warm touch has her body jolting, the blush rising to her cheeks and as their bodies press close together she hopes he doesn’t notice. They start slow, a little unsure of exactly what they’re doing but it doesn’t take long for them to fall into a rhythm and sway.

“I never took you for a dancer, Chakotay,” Kathryn husks once they’ve found their footing, her voice far too breathless for her own liking. She chances a glance up at him and regrets her decision when his eyes find hers immediately and she can feel the intense attraction sizzling around them. Her lips part, tongue flicking out over her lips for a moment, their bodies pressing deliciously closer, too much so and all she can seem to think about is the taste of his lips.

Kathryn shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts as she realized Chakotay had responded to her words. The flush on her cheeks brightened she was sure and though it was a vain hope, she’d rather not have Chakotay notice. “I’m sorry, what’d you say?” She asked, trying to keep her voice even and her mind from wondering like it had only moments before.

The chuckle that reverberated from the Commander sent a thrill through her and she couldn’t help but smirk. “Something on your mind, Kathryn?” he murmured, voice low and the way he said her name, the way he’d always said it, had her insides melting like she was a schoolgirl once again. “And, I’m not really a dancer. I just know some of the basics. You though, I always wondered; you seem to have…what do they call it? A dancer’s body,” he told her, smirk wide and dimples on full display, as he pressed her body more firmly against his own. Her eyes widened, if she didn’t know any better she’d have thought he was flirting with her. Surely he wouldn’t, not here and not now and surely not so blatantly. But there seemed to be a twinkle in his eye and a dangerous edge to his smirk, one she was having a hard time resisting it seemed. A beat passed then and a thought crossed her mind, two can play this game and a devious smirk spread across her features.

“I did dance, my mother insisted on it. Said I couldn’t always have my head in the stars or in my science books. I was quite flexible actually,” she commented, though there was a non-chalance to her words, the almost heated and challenging stare she was giving him, suggested otherwise.

He looked startled for a moment, lips quirking to reply when a hand on his arm and a voice echoing from beside them, brought them out of their bubble. Seven stood there in her pretty and sleek dress, hair surprisingly down and reality came crashing down on Kathryn like a ton of bricks. Whatever they had been doing, flirting, had been entirely and utterly inappropriate; as had the way their bodies had seemingly melted together.

Kathryn pulled away from him as if she’d been shocked, eyes wide as she realized the spectacle they had most assuredly made of themselves in front of so many people. “Seven,” she nodded, a tight smile upon her lips as she turned and made her way through the throng of people. It was rude, she knew but she couldn’t think of anything to say. She just wanted to get out of there and away from him before she made more of a fool of herself.

She’d made it out into the foyer, heading towards a courtyard, hoping beyond hope that there would be some privacy there. The tears had been threatening to overflow as she’d made her escape and now, surrounded by the lush greenery completely alone, they finally fell. It seemed as if she’d been holding them in all night and now that she was finally allowing herself to cry, they were coming hard and fast and she hoped that no one found her out here, bawling her eyes out.

Her hopes were dashed however, after only moments she heard the doors closing behind her. Kathryn didn’t need to turn around to see who it was; there was only one person that would be following her and she hated that he would see her at her weakest moment right now. A hand quickly came up to wipe haplessly at the tears streaking down her cheeks, no doubt ruining the eye makeup her sister had so precisely applied. She took several deep and steadying breaths, trying to calm her self down before she could turn and face the man. But, it seemed he had other ideas.

“Kathryn?” He asked, voice soft and hesitant as he stepped closer, moving around her to stand in front of her. His eyes caught the mussed mascara and the tears and he looked so sad, Kathryn couldn’t take it. Why on Earth would he be sad? She was the one with the broken heart; he was the one that had moved on and fallen in love with her protégé.

Suddenly, Kathryn wasn’t crying anymore. Instead, she felt the anger bubbling up in her and her eyes turned from glassy and tear filled to a heated glare, aimed directly at her former First Officer.

“How could you?” She hissed somewhat irrationally; her anger was misplaced but it was the only outlet she’d allow herself at this moment. “I knew, I knew you couldn’t and wouldn’t wait around for me forever. But, damn it Chakotay! How could you, with Seven! Of all people? She’s…” She started, before cutting herself off and shaking her head. This wasn’t really about Seven. “No, this isn’t about her. This is about us! And everything I thought we had…I wanted you to be happy, I love you enough to want you to be happy even if it’s not with me. But then…then that dance? Why would you do that to me Chakotay? Surely…surely you know how I still feel about you!” She exclaimed, hands gesticulating angrily in the space between.

“You love me?” Chakotay breathed the words as if they were precious and Kathryn suddenly stopped. Chakotay was looking at her wide eyed and stunned, like he couldn’t believe what she’d just admitted to him.

“That’s…” Kathryn started breathlessly, unable to form a sentence to explain away her words. So instead, she settled for the truth. “Of course I do, Chakotay. I’ve loved you ever since New Earth…” she admitted softly, the anger she’d been feeling only moments before having dissipated to quiet resignation. “Not having you by my side every day these last few weeks has been harder then I’d ever imagined it would be. I can barely breathe without you around,” she told him, her voice barely above a whisper. “But I’ll learn to live with it,” she voiced as an afterthought.

“Kathryn Janeway, why would you ever have to learn to live without me?” Chakotay asked his tone almost amused.

Kathryn looked up at him sharply, not quite sure what he was implying by his words. “You…and Seven. I imagine you’ll want to be with her and…we’re not exactly in a Command structure anymore,” the words she spoke were pained, “I don’t see how we’d-”

“Stop,” his voice was quiet and firm, cutting off her words. His eyes found hers and Kathryn found herself sinking into them, as she sometimes had a habit of doing. “Kathryn, Annika and I…we aren’t an item. Not anymore,” he told her firmly and Kathryn could see the truth in his eyes and in his words. Even still, she felt a need to question him.

“Then why did you arrive together?” Kathryn questioned obstinately, lips pursing as she looked up at him.

Chakotay couldn’t help the slightly amused smile that graced his lips as he answered, “I agreed to escort her as a friend. She’d never been to a Ball and she was nervous. She’d have asked her Captain about the social event, but you seemed to be quite unreachable the last few weeks. And with the Doctor currently not around, I was the next best thing.”

The words were genuine and Kathryn almost felt bad for her disappearing act. The debriefings had legitimately taken up most of the time but she also couldn’t deny that she’d been desperately trying to avoid Seven since they’d landed back on Earth. It had been a childish thing to do but Kathryn had convinced herself it was a necessity. After all, she didn’t think she could focus on her debriefings if Seven brought up Chakotay and their relationship.

Except, it seems, they weren’t in a relationship anymore. The thought shouldn’t relieve her as much as it did but she couldn’t help herself. Kathryn had no real claim over Chakotay but knowing he wasn’t with anyone else at the moment had a heaviness lifting from her chest.

“Oh,” she said after a moment, knowing her cheeks were probably blotching red by now. “I’m sorry,” she told him sincerely; ashamed almost of having cut the young woman so easily out of her life these last few weeks.

“I’m not the person you should be apologizing too,” Chakotay told her after a moment. “But, you don’t have to do that right now. I think right now, we have quite a bit to talk about. Don’t you?” He suggested, reaching a hand out to tentatively take her hand in his. She could feel the electricity flowing between them just as it had earlier and was suddenly aware of the pounding of her heart.

“What do we have to talk about?” She asked vaguely, reverting back to her Captain persona, though she didn’t mean too. She felt, more then heard the sigh that left Chakotay’s lips as he squeezed her hand gently.

“Come, sit,” Chakotay urged, using the hand he held to pull her gently towards a stone bench that bordered along a window into the ballroom.

They settled beside each other, neither letting go of each other’s hands. Kathryn’s gaze dropped down to their joined hands resting atop Chakotay’s knee. They were angled towards each other and though only their knees were touching, she could feel Chakotay’s thumb rubbing softly over her knuckles.

“You love me,” it was a statement, not a question but Kathryn answered affirmatively.

“I do. I have for a long time,” she continued softly, eyes looking across to his, delighted to see the love and warmth in his own eyes staring back at her. “But on Voyager, it just…it couldn’t have happened. I resigned myself to that. I knew you’d move on one day and I was prepared for that, accepted it even. Then we got back to the Alpha Quadrant…” she trailed off, sighing sadly. She took a moment to compose herself, lips pressing tightly together for a moment before she spoke again. “Then we got back here, decades earlier then any of us had anticipated but it was too late. Or, I thought it was. Either way, knowing we finally had the chance to be together but thinking you’d finally moved on…it was heartbreaking Chakotay,” her voice wavered then, the emotion almost overwhelming her. “Then that dance…and being interrupted by Seven. It was too much,” she admitted softly, sadly.

She took a shuddering breath, trying to keep her emotions in check as her gaze flicked towards the window, seeing bodies move through the large ballroom. She needed a moment just to regain her composure.

“I’m sorry,” Chakotay eventually spoke, letting them have a moment of silence with their thoughts.

“No,” she frowned, “You don’t have to apologise. I know I’ve never had a claim to you Chakotay,” Kathryn tried to explain, her hand squeezing his as she tried to convey her message.

“But I do, Kathryn,” Chakotay interrupted her again. “Let me explain now, please? I’m sorry for first, not telling you Seven and I were…together and then for not telling you we had ended our dalliance. I should’ve told you last week but I thought you’d heard. You invited me, after all. And secondly, I’m sorry for ever making you doubt my love for you because I do love you Kathryn Janeway. Hear that? Present tense…I may have tried to move on, but you have a claim to my heart. You always have,” he told her softly, lifting his free hand up to brush gently against her cheek, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear lightly.

Kathryn’s heart thundered in her chest, eyes wide and tear filled at his admission. She hadn’t imagined that he’d still feel that way for her; that he still loved her. They’d been through so much and her heart and mind had resigned themselves to the fact she’d always have to love him from afar, never to have him as her own.

But that wasn’t to be.

“Chakotay,” she breathed his name almost reverently, eyes locked with his, hoping he could see her love for him shining through.

Chakotay smiled, dimples on full display as he slowly stood up, a hand still holding hers. “Will you dance with me Kathryn?” He asked sweetly, giving her hand a gentle tug, helping her stand up.

“What?” She asked breathlessly, surprised by his request. It wasn’t what she’d been expecting to happen.

“Will you dance with me?” He asked again, “I want to hold you in my arms,” he explained, still smiling that same sweet and loving smile at her.

“Of course,” she nodded, her own loving smile spreading across her face as she stepped closer to him, the heat electric between them as their bodies pressed closely together. His hands fell to hold her waist, one slipping further around to press the heat of his hand against her bare skin. Her own smoothed up his toned arms, coming to rest interlaced against his neck, fingers playing in the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

“I love you,” Chakotay whispered to her as they gently swayed to the faint music that could be heard through the window of the ballroom.

“I love you too,” Kathryn murmured back, smiling widely up at him as she leaned up to press a soft, sweet kiss to his lips. They stayed in the embrace for several long moments before pulling back, both slightly breathless as they rested their foreheads against each other.

“I know we have a lot to work out,” Chakotay begun again, “But what I do know is that I want you to stay in my arms forever. I never want to let you go again,” he admitted freely, pressing her imperceptibly closer.

Kathryn smiled at his words, her own arms tightening slightly. “We do. But right here, in your arms? There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” she murmured against his lips, pulling him into another sweet and loving kiss.  

[simptasia]

Answer the questions for Star Trek Voyager, Janeway x Seven, Tom Paris, if you like^^

okay this is gonna be a lot to write but i need to be distracted so thanks

voyager as a whole

Favorite character: Seven

Least Favorite character: Chakotay

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): tom/b’elanna, doc/seven, janeway/chakotay, janeway/seven, tom/haryy

Character I find most attractive: janeway & b’elanna equally

Character I would marry: ...tom is a really good husband

Character I would be best friends with: oh neelix & doc probably

A random thought: the voyager theme music is the most beautiful music in existence

An unpopular opinion: apparently this is an unpopular opinion in trek fandom but uh, i fucking love and adore star trek voyager. also i don’t hate neelix, chakotay or harry. they’re a part of the family and i like ‘em

My canon OTP: tom/b’elanna

Non-canon OTP: janeway/seven

Most badass character: janeway but they’re all pretty badass

Pairing I am not a fan of: seven/chakotay but only because of how it was handled, not the concept itself

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): several fuck ups were made regarding chakotay, mostly in a racial sense. the history behind all that is a lot to get into. basically they really did wanna portray a native american good but the guy they got their native american info from turned out to be a con artist so thats a bad start. then theres the  native american stereotypes thing (tvtropes goes into it) which is a bit eye rolly at times. also that episode “tattoo”’s premise is genuinely offensive. on the bright side, as lame as chakotay’s writing could be sometimes, i like think... i like to hope that in the 90s some little native american trekkie kids saw chakotay on tv and that made them feel good (even if their parents were cringing at the ~let me tell you the ways of my people~ stuff). cuz native american characters are seriously the rarest thing on tv. i swear they’re the least represented people in media

Favourite friendship: doc & seven

janeway/seven

when or if I started shipping it: i think it was a few years ago thanks to seeing some stuff about it on tumblr. hadn’t occurred to me before

my thoughts: they really do have a remarkable bond. it’s one of my favourite relationships in the show (helps that seven & janeway are two of my fave women in sci-fi ever) and man, i know janeway has a mother-figure relationship with most of her crew, including seven, but i do understand seeing it in a romantic and/or loving way. romance aside, they do genuinely love each other. janeway’s guidance and friendship is so important to seven and her character growth. and seven is one of the three people janeway cares about most. tuvok, chakotay, seven. note how they’re the three people future janeway changed the timeline for. in that episode future janeway practically says she loves seven

What makes me happy about them: uhm, all of the above? and more, because i love them both so much

What makes me sad about them: the 1990s were COWARDS (aka that they didn’t just go for it and let them be a couple. side note: kate mulgrew was/is totally on board with the idea of janeway/seven)

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: i’ve not read much so eh

Things I look for in fanfic: again i don’t read much trek fanfic

My kinks: uhm, i have this thing where i’m not good at sexualising characters from star trek next gen and star trek voyager

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: doc for seven and chakotay for janeway (janeway/seven/chakotay = OT3)

My happily ever after for them: janeway and seven (and chakotay) are living happily together in a nice house in san fran. they’re close to the water. they have a strawberry garden and lotsa red setters

tom paris

How I feel about this character: i really like tom and i always loved his character growth/arc. how he started as a cynical ex-con and he ended up uber dorky, jack-of-all-trades, great husband & father. i know some of this was due to writing retries. tom started as a roguish womanizer but due to his actor’s portrayal they made him more wholesome. but like still, voyager made his life so much better and its wonderful. and he’s so good to b’elanna. like, oh my gosh, they’re wonderful together

All the people I ship romantically with this character: b’elanna, harry

My non-romantic OTP for this character: hmmm i like his friendships with everybody. i’m gonna say tom and tuvok even tho it’s not my fave (i dunno my fave) because i recently saw the ep where tom asks tuvok for father advice and it was presh

My unpopular opinion about this character: i dunno popular opinions about tom. and everybody seems to like ‘em (even chuck sfdebris whom tears voyager to shreds for a living, just praises tom endlessly)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: [shrugs]

My OTP: tom/b’elanna

My OT3: i never thought about it before now but the logical conclusion is tom/b’elanna/harry