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#the way i was gonna post this right before the mtv thing .. how are we feeling today? i am not okay for one :-)
khiphop-discussions · 2 years
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What are your thoughts on cancel culture and “moral purity”? Is there truly anything that is unproblematic in the media that we consume?
I have a lot of thoughts on it. I've made a short video on it before in response to an ask but A) I lost that ask B) I think my views have probably developed since that video anyway.
To answer the last question: No. Nothing is unproblematic.
This was a longer post (as expected) so I'll put a "keep reading".
As far as "cancel culture", to me it really doesn't exist in the way people who "seriously" use the term "cancel culture" think it does. Why? Cause nobody ever truly gets "cancelled" (well at least most people USUALLY don't actually get cancelled. More on that later though). What happens is people get yelled at, "roasted", and cursed out on the internet. To me, that's not a true "cancelling". That's just backlash.
Cancelling was initially (from my observations and in my opinion) supposed to be something like a boycott. Basically, until you do better we aren't gonna financially support you and as a result you will lose revenue if not straight up go broke/bankrupt and lose your career altogether.
In order for something to be "cancelled" it has to be greenlit in the first place. You can't "cancel" a series that no network ever picked up, right? That show was never on air to begin with. It was making no money. It was never a thing. So "cancelling" it doesn't actually hurt anything.
The problem with "cancel culture". The people MOST likely to "truly" cancel someone are the people who never were fans in the first place. So they never actually offered any financial support. Their internet rantings and ravings don't actually mean much if people will still pay for a certain thing. So there's VERY few people (in my opinion) who have ever truly been cancelled. Those people don't have the financial backing to pull for it to truly be a "cancelling". Most people forgive them after a period of time or after an apology and this is long before they ever start to lose huge amounts of revenue for the most part.
Right now, I feel like Kanye is being "cancelled" for real. Why? Because people with REAL money (aka not people but corporations like Adidas and Chase) have dropped him and stopped doing business with him. So because of that he's lost (or at least WILL lose over a period of time) millions if not billions of dollars. Nick Cannon was another because he lost his show with MTV/VH-1 for a period of time. Bill Cosby as well especially since he also was held accountable (at least for a time) by the legal system. Same with Harvey Weinstein. Same with R.Kelly. Azelia Banks as well (not legally cause nothing she said or did was technically illegal). She has a career still technically but it PALES in comparison to what she had. HUGE festivals kicked her off so she lost a lot of money.
So personally I think a lot of the criticisms of "cancel culture" actually turn out to be quite moot. It's really a lot of people just not liking how mean the internet is to be who do things many on the internet deem to be bad.
As far as moral purity, I also don't think that's what people expect. Reason being is that a lot of people are forgiven VERY easily after their scandals. All it really takes is an apology and most of the time MULTIPLE instances of scandals are tolerated evne without apologies. Sometimes they are even allowed to DOUBLE DOWN without losing fans. They might get yelled at but, again, people go back to supporting them very soon after the transgressions. So I disagree with the notion of the internet or "cancel culture" expecting moral purity. I genuinely think that's a cop-out. (this isn't directed at the person sending this anon, it's more about in general how I've seen people discuss cancel culture and moral purity as concepts).
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pwblogarchive · 2 months
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April 2005
April 5, 2005
i've got a flame gun for all the cute ones
so let's start this one out with how great spring is. seriously. we're in love. jay-z called my phone the other day. for real this is how the conversation went:
jayz: yo pete
me: hello
j: this is j
me: jay who
j: jay-z
me: yeah right
j: no. it is. we're gonna let em know right
me: are you fucking serious
j: we're gonna let the world know about fall out boy
me: yeah. we can do whateveer you want
j: aight . ill see you at one of your new york shows
me: are you serious, this is jay-z
j: ::click::
me: man you are so fucking awesome
j: dialtone
total fan moment.
i guess cause he is the president of defjam and we're on island/defjam that's how come he called. uh WTF?
new things on the horizon:
tentatively titled: the boy with the thorn in his side in "i am the dream, you are the dreamer" - me and travis from gym class and a couple of others began working on this. it will be a slightly different format - about 150-200 pages illustration every 5 pages. similiarly styled but trust me the other was simply an introduction. this won't be out till winter probably.
before that: two pack ultra limited "boy with the thorn" and "rattail" broken heart two pack toy. possibly at the end of summer.
and also, tentatively titled: "rainy day kids" - about 130 pages no illustrations. this book comprises writing from the last 5 years - on the directors cut it was mistakingly called "young hearts be free" - these read alot closer to my journal entries. this should be out by fall...
lots of more stuff coming soon: clandestine.buzznet.com... get over to your local hot topic and pick up some gear - so then maybe they'll grab some of this new stuff to sell too!
the tour has been amazing. we are shooting a new video in the next week or so.
patrick: sing-y/stinky
joe: coughy/nakedy
andy: vegany/music-y
pete: sleepy/no-sleepy
korean dan suh: drunky/more drunky
merch jim: angry/too much merchy
dirty: dirty/dirty
truefuckinglove
peter
p.s. thanks for showing me all of those new bands. i liked a bunch of them. if you guys know any bands that kind of sound like hellogoodbye (smaller unsigned ones only cause the bigger ones i have heard)--- lemme know. cause that band rules.
April 5, 2005
dear trophy boys and secrets girls-
welcome to the next phase of our life. we hope we can look at the world in a new way. we're really excited for may 3 and warped tour but until then come on out to the FBR friends and family tour. long live our car crash hearts.
peterabbit
April 13, 2005
hey girls. special post for you. i am looking for a womens blazer that would fit a dude about my size- black or striped or whatever. ill trade you something cool. collar shirts too. im down for whatever. bring it to the show, ill trade you up. love peter
btw- xs in dudes, probably m or l in girls.... aaaaaaannnnd dont feel like you gotta bring anything but your smile- woo.
- petey
April 13, 2005
Love. We got you. Tour has been amazing. Midtown just dropped off, silverstein picked it up. People will be missed, new friends will be made. We got you on the bussiness end of the barrel. Get into it or drop out, hit it or quit it. New record soon. We just shot a new video for "sugar we're going down", its kind of weird. Its definitely the most time and money we have ever spent on a video. We hope you love it. Lets just say there is a fireplace, a bear head, deers and upstate new york outdoors involved. Our friend matt lenski who shot all those cute little baby chick mtv commercials. "We should move somewherer deep in the middle of july" she said. You know how I get down (and out). They say he could have anyone but that just means no one. And I'm foggy like london but without all the class and dignity. More like northern florida in august. I'm getting off(line). Sweating it out in the dark. I am all breaths and heartbeats. Goddamn baby, it not me its you. Or whatever.
Today was a good day.
I didn't have to use my a.k.
Make me electric. Peter
April 14, 2005
the list:
ins/outs of 2005:
in:
snapping bras
panic at the disco
drama and gossip
waking up at 10am
makeup that makes you look like a girl
huge watches make your wrist hurt
lust
"headwalks"
phonecalls home
bunklife
brutal honesty
real life friend cuts
pretending to be girls on myspace and messing with dudes who are creepy
windy city heat
saying you knew fall out boy way back when
out:
wearing underwear
makeup that makes you look goth
going to sleep at 10am
huge belt buckles that make your waist hurt
love
"crowdsurfing"
phonecalls to ______ _____
hotellife
lying
livejournal friend cuts
being a creepy dude on myspace and sending girls messages
being friends with fall out boy now
April 19, 2005
“naked peek a boo what.”
brendanP!ATD: Dude my mouth and mostly my tongue is all leathery from eating too many gobstoppers.
BrendanP!ATD: its so shitty
PeteFOB: hahaha
PeteFOB: thats the price of sweetness
oh yeah. just to ruin your crush on me i went and dyed my hair black and purple. hehe. oh and yes i do have a sister.
i want a girl that doesnt have time to think things through
April 21, 2005
“namedrop it like it’s hot”
sorry cincinatti, we had an early buscall and patricks sick and im sick in the head. i let a ghost catch me.
sometimes its (not) okay to lose your mind.
peter
04/21/05 Q&A
question
pete. brendon urie or ryan ross?
answer
neither. im a spence kind of boy. definitely. cause then his name would be Spence Wentz
question
Pete, Do you ever have any “Wet Dreams”? If so of whom? hmmm…?
answer
once i fell asleep in the van between two dudes and had a crazy wet dream when i woke up they were both looking at me. but not like a “oh boy you rule” look more like a “what just happened” look but oh boy did it rule.
April 24, 2005
guys and stellasssss. this tour is amazing. we are lining up some fun things for may- including a mini-tour and maybe a couple of other suprises for you. i hate to have to bring the drama but.
1. i do not have a girlfriend
2. i do not have a boyfriend
3. lindsey lohan is just a friend
i found this amazing band you'll fall in love with soon.
xxoo peter
April 24, 2005
Okay the last entry was obviously a joke. Pretty much I am in love with being on tour but my private life will always be my private life. The people I date or don't date aren't really worth IMing me about. xxoo peeeeeete.
04/24/05
question
William Beckett vs. Peter Wentz for the title of FBR Sex Symbol… who wins and why?
answer
mike cardin because he just said “butcher tell your dyke ass mom to stop calling my phone”- and thats just insane. besides what me and bill do behind closed doors is our thing not fbrs.
April 26, 2005
Here we are under the radar across the border. I’m sorry I seem to have lost my mind.
Me: how bad did I look on tv?
You: you looked okay
You: would it be gay of my to tell you that the purple brought out you eyes?
Me: hahahaha
Safe.
Patricks birthday is tommorrow. I am in love with him so give him presents.
Still l i/o ving
Xxoo
04/27/05
question
my boyfriend is tall and asian and has a boycrush on pete. if you ever see him would you give him a smooch on the cheek?
answer
i already have one asian boy i’m dating and his name is korean tom cruise.
April 30, 2005
I'm sore throat singing through the curtain at you down the hall in the dark and you're asleep or just a good actor. In my head this is the way we'll always be. Me walking out dripping wet, trailing my finger nails against the picture frames on the walls. Slipping back into whatever and being careful shut the door so I don't wake anyone.
Washington d.c. Has got us under this amazing spell. We are on our way to bamboozle fest, see you in new jersey tommorrow. Ill be up at 9am looking for the sun. Stop by the clandestine booth all weekend, we'll be giving away clandestine slap bracelets (you know like the ones that everyone loved in the 80s).
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userhobi · 4 years
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~ ult group tag ~
thank you to the wonderful angels @jinjagi @rosebowl​ @mykrokosmos & @namjoonsbengaligf for tagging me in this! Everyone’s answers were so detailed, creative and amazing!! galaxy brains all of you! 💖
answering this really intimidated me but i’m channeling Yoongi when he said “..purpose is more important than the goal” - so here we go!
Who was your first bias? it was literally a toss up btwn Hoseok and Taehyung i couldn’t choose or do they choose you? 
Who is your bias now? On paper its Kim Taehyung... I don’t know how, when or why it happened, i wish i could pinpoint the moment! tbh i also don’t know if I’m double biased or if Hoseok is my bias wrecker. My blog is 99% Min Yoongi as well but my feelings for him cannot be categorized... he’s in a lane of his own.
What was the first mv you watched by them? Boy with Luv! I actually didn’t really watch it the first time around. I used to work as a teacher for a girls STEM program and during our end of year sleepover two of the students performed to this song with the music video in the back (they were so good!) so I was really just watching them dance instead of the music video haha
What’s your favorite mv? 
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I don’t know!!! i don’t think I have one.... does the pied piper fan cam from 5th muster count 😭😭😭😭😭😭 
If you could listen to one of their songs for the rest of your life, which would it be? 
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pleaseeee i can’t pick one, they all fit different moods of mine.. maybe pied piper ?? or black swan orchestral version?? or home!!!!
Who would you want to see them collab with? 
I just answered this but ZAYN!!! zayn!! Z A Y N! 
What mv concept for you want to see them do?
hmm i don’t know maybe Jimin doing full contemporary dance for a mv. But for a mv with all the members maybe a superhero themed one that wasn’t cringey? 
Have you ever had a dream with any of the members? 
I literally had a dream last week where I was backstage at a concert with BTS and Hoseok came in with Jin and was telling the rest of the members “this hyung is sad” and MR KIM NAMJOON looked at him with his serious leader face and without hesitation went up to Jin and hugged him </3 my dreams are really just a place where Jin gets love and validation.
If you could spend the day with one member, who would it be and what would you do? 
If I wasn’t too intimidated to hang out with Taehyung I’d take him to an art museum and then we’d eat delicious food all day and yes I already know where we would eat. However.......... I also think it would be fun to go to an amusement park at night with him and compete for prizes! He could ride the really scary rides since he’s a thrill seeker and I’ll just watch him haha and then we’d see fireworks after! 
Which member do you think you’d get along with the best? 
If not Hoseok then probably Jimin. I think I see a lot of my past self in Jimin? Sometimes he reminds of what I was like in high school or maybe he just has Aries like qualities in him? Honestly I just want to be his best friend. I think we’d just love, validate and support each other 😭 
Which member do you think you’d argue with?  arguing? what’s that? Maybe Jin if he played too much LMAO (flashback to him putting off fireworks early in the morning during in the soop) I don’t even think it’d be a real argument lool
If you had to let one member scroll through your tumblr, who would it be? 
no one <3 
💕 i’m tagging @dinamitae @armystay @bibillyhillsbaby @dumplinjin @hazeltae​ @kiasu-kiasi
this is optional ofc! 💕
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smallblip · 3 years
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You asked, I deliver! Part II of Accidental baby acquisition💖 I lost one of the asks 😩 but anon who asked about baby Udo, I named the baby in your honour! Saddle up cowboys! I’m not good with sequels but here we are-
Babygate:
the scandal that implies that a certain boy band member cheated on his partner (another band member) and had a kid even when the mom was never pregnant.
- urban dictionary
Reiner thinks things are alright. Life is definitely picking up. Pieck still sends him excerpts of her dirty fanfiction to proofread, Bertholdt is still doing all he can to “retire at 30”, Annie might have eloped with said boyfriend. But he’s seeing Porco on the regular now, he’s really cute, he’s got a nice ass. Reiner can’t complain.
He’s also recently donated his Levi Ackerman standee. Only because it’s getting increasingly hard to reconcile the fact that he has a life sized cutout of his colleague’s boyfriend in his room.
What he can complain about is said colleague (and friend) dropping bombs on him. He’s one of the moderators of one of the bigger No Name servers. Sometimes he wonders if that’s a conflict of interest because, well, he knows the guy on a first name basis. But today he has other concerns. He sees his notifications blowing up and decides to go on the No Name server. And lo and behold. There’s a paparazzi shot of Levi and Hanji with a stroller taking a walk in a new channel called “MYSTERY FAMILY?”.
He cancels his plans with Porco. “Don’t text me for the next few hours, got a fire to fight.” He clicks send, and feels kinda bad, so he sends Porco really dank meme to appease him. (That doesn’t stop Porco from doing exactly what Reiner told him not to do and demanding an explanation every five minutes).
He forces himself to take a deep breath before texting Hanji-
“Hanji… I don’t mean to be rude but…
WHAT THE FUCK?”
So here begins babygate. A conspiracy theory that took the Internet by storm.
“Levi Ackerman had a secret marriage! He was keeping this from us from the start!”
“It’s a publicity stunt to keep No Name relevant during their hiatus!”
“It’s an elaborate scheme by the company to punish Levi for announcing the hiatus without their knowledge!”
“Levi’s mystery partner was sent by the lizard people to take control of his mind and produce half-lizard, half-human hybrid babies to take over the world! What a bitch!” (This is Hanji’s favourite).
And the internet’s favourite- this is all an elaborate scheme to cover up the scandalous love affair between Levi and Eren- the band’s guitarist.
“What the fuck?” Levi had said during dinner once, to which Reiner had to swallow his food and pretend he never read or actively looked up ereri content. Yes. Reiner knows the name of their ship.
Levi hadn’t been too worried before, but when pictures of them shopping for baby stuff leaked online, something snaps. Something snaps and Erwin tells him he needs more time to figure out the biggest PR crisis in No Name history.
It’s Levi. Levi is the PR crisis.
So in the meantime, no shock reveals, no more social media, (if possible) no more leaving the house with pregnant girlfriend in tow. “Don’t do ANYTHING.” Erwin had said, “especially not you!” Erwin had directed that at Eren, who suggested he makes an announcement. Erwin shudders. He remembers all the past scandals they got themselves into just because Eren, bless him, didn’t know when to shut up.
“I’m sorry…” Levi says to Hanji when they’re cuddled up on the couch watching a documentary on whale migration.
“Huh?” Hanji says, voice muffled through her incessant sniffling because “whales are delivered tail first, Levi! They wear their mothers like hats!”
He apologises for putting her through the mess that is him and his job. And Hanji smiles at him. He wonders if their kid will look like her. He’s hoping they would.
“Levi…” Hanji sighs, taking his face in her hands, “that night at the bar I thought to myself ‘this man has a face I would risk it all for’… I think this counts within the realms of ‘all’”
Levi scoffs, but a smile is threatening the corners of his lips. Erwin’s nagging over the phone fades a little and he sinks a little lower into the couch. He sighs one more time for good measure before saying-
“So… you wanna know which my favourite babygate theory is?”
“And you’re really not bothered by all this?” Reiner asks, in an emergency meeting that he had scheduled into her calendar. He hates that he’s packing things into her already busy schedule when she’s about to pop but, he figures it’s better now than when the baby’s actually out. He had booked a meeting room and everything, figuring if he projected some of the crazy shit they’re saying on the fan boards up on screen, Hanji would start taking this seriously. Because if Reiner knows anything, it’s that the fans will do anything to keep their ship afloat.
He scrolls past another post on the lizard people and Hanji gets him to pause.
“I mean… A little?” Hanji pinches her fingers together.
“Hanji…” Reiner sighs, “you and Levi discuss and rate babygate conspiracy theories you find online I don’t think you’re taking this seriously at all…”
Hanji looks at Reiner- an absolute state of panic. And she considers panicking for a moment. She’s read articles dissecting babygate and although they’re absolutely batshit, Hanji appreciates how well-researched they are. Which is a little scary. To be fair to Levi, he’s been trying to get her to worry. “I can’t keep you safe all the time, you have to be careful” like he’s going off to war somewhere. But it’s not in Hanji nature to worry about things like this. She’s a researcher at a lab who lived an ordinary life up until the point the universe hit her with a-
Sike! Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy! What are you gonna do about it?
And now she knows what headcanons and lemons are, and she really doesn’t know what to do with that knowledge. So Hanji decides, she’ll do nothing. She’ll go on indulgently long walks Levi in tow, she’ll talk his ear off about work. And like a good girlfriend, she’ll listen to his demos (and enjoy them) and tell him “are you sure anger rhymes with danger?”.
“I don’t really know how to worry about anything beyond our samples getting contaminated…” Hanji says, sheepish. Reiner sighs. He doesn’t want to be a wet blanket on Hanji’s life. He wants to be fun Reiner. Cool as a cucumber. Reiner who manages to make it through dinner at Hanji’s without having to excuse himself to hyperventilate in her bathroom because Levi is right there. And he’s so afraid that he might just be able to read his mind and find out he had looked up Levi Ackerman x y/n fanfiction once in his foolish youth (youth being approximately four months back)
Reiner shudders.
“Yeah okay… That’s um… That’s cool… Right?” He says.
Hanji shrugs.
So Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy. Now what?
You go into labour of course, with a matter of fact- “oh. Look Levi. The water broke.” All while refusing to leave the house until you demolish that amazing sandwich he made for you. You go into labour and you yell and grunt like a beast as you squeeze the life out of your baby daddy because he kinda deserves it. You both kinda deserve this pain. Take it as heavenly punishment for being horny and stupid if you will.
And in the middle of it Hanji thinks huh, this feels like a mix of a reality TV show from MTV and a badly written fanfiction. Except Hanji isn’t a teen mom and she’s too old for self-insert fiction that involves a lead singer of a popular band.
But Levi is here, and he doesn’t complain one bit even though he looks like he’s about to pass out. So as far as drunken one night stands go- this is pretty damn aspirational.
The baby enters the world with a huge cry.
“Kid’s got a huge set of lungs…” Levi says, but his own voice is quivering.
“Just like her dad…” Hanji smiles.
As he watches Hanji fall asleep with their baby on her chest, Levi thinks fuck it. Fuck keeping this under wraps. Fuck the fans and them enjoying how Eren gets on his nerves. Fuck Erwin and his “Levi. You’re giving me a headache. You are the cause of this headache.” Because the baby has Hanji’s nose and his eyes and he loves them more than anything in the world.
He snaps a picture of them and tags bigdaddyzoë-
“Welcome to the world, my love.”
Reiner can’t help the tears that well in his eyes after seeing the picture Hanji had sent him of the baby-
“He says hi to his favourite uncle!” Was the caption, and Reiner could only reply with a crying cat meme and an incoherent text that Hanji favourites.
He’s on the bus on the way to the hospital when his phone buzzes incessantly. It’s Porco.
“REINER WHAT THE FUCK.”
“LEVI ACKERMAN IS HANJI ZOË’S BABY DADDY?”
“HANJI ZOË MY PHD SUPERVISOR?”
“LEVI ACKERMAN OF NO NAME?”
“REINER WHAT THE FUCK?”
He sends a reply at the entrance of the hospital-
“Welcome to my world”
Reiner thinks things are alright. He’s one of the moderator of one of the bigger No Name servers, so he can block and remove people at his discretion. Some days he lets it get to his head. It makes him feel like a king. But today, he’s putting out fires.
Erwin decided their PR strategy was absolutely no strategy, because “they’re zooming in on the pixels Levi. Once they doubt the pixels, they won’t believe anything we’re saying”. With that. Babygate has officially taken on a life of its own. Eren still sends Levi babygate articles to annoy him, and to Hanji because she asked very nicely. Hanji thinks Erwin’s strategy makes sense, Levi thinks it’s just lazy. But Erwin framed a certificate that says “survived a PR crisis (sort of)” that Hanji had insisted be hung up on their wall, so that closes one chapter. Besides, Eren has been spotted going out on dates with a mystery girl. Which has the double effect of diverting attention away from Levi and exacerbating babygate because “see? Told you the company’s doing all they can to prove they’re not together!”
“Can’t you keep it in your pants?” Levi had thrown at Eren, to which he had responded cleverly with a-
“Could’ve said the same for you!”
Touché…
“See? That can’t be Levi! Look at how he’s smiling!”
“That can’t be a baby! Looks like an animatronic to me!”
“Do they even make animatronics that realistic?”
Reiner pins his “no slander” rule- one day they’ll get it. Or at least he would’ve gotten rid of all the people that don’t.
“Who’s this bigdaddyzoë anyway?”
“Maybe she isn’t real? Company probably invented her…”
“Heard she’s a crazy groupie who got knocked up…”
“Heard she’s hot…”
… several people are typing
“So… I heard from Reiner you were defending my honour in the server?” Hanji quirks an eyebrow.
Levi shrugs. Whatever goes down in the server stays between Leviackerman173810 (leviackerman and all 173809 permutations of said username had already been taken) and the hundreds of people who haven’t quite figured out he’s the real deal. Besides, Erwin has issued him three warnings so it’s best to lay low for now.
“My hero…” Hanji chuckles, pressing a kiss on Levi’s head. Below them, baby Udo wriggles and yawns against the fabric of Levi’s shirt. Cute.
So Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy. Now what? You look at your son and know he’s going to break hearts like his father of course. And if you’re Levi, you pray to god he never asks about babygate because Hanji has read up enough about it to be considered a connoisseur.
One day the internet will break when they find out the identity of bigdaddyzöe. But for now baby Udo has his parents wrapped around his tiny fingers and he doesn’t quite understand the concept of him being the spawn of every typical band member x y/n fanfiction. Or the centre of a very popular, very absurd, yet strangely believable internet conspiracy theory. Or the canon plot that has sunk one of the biggest No Name ships. And that’s okay.
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andreafmn · 3 years
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I'm Not Afraid - Chapter 6
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Word Count: 3,753
Characters: Female Reader Argent Character, Original Male Argent Character, Derek Hale, Allison Argent, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Chris Argent, Jackson Whittemore
Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.
*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Teen Wolf, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and MTV Network. The only thing I own is Argent Reader insert, her immediate family, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ storyline.
Chapter: 6/?
Warnings: mentions of murder, arson, and blood
A/N: The ending is dark, y'all, dark. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.
TikTok • Instagram • Business
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Chapter 6
I followed my father inside the house, my hands trembling and sweating. The only topic I believed they would seriously need to talk to me about was the supernatural and the family business. Just as I had told Derek, if I hadn’t met him and Scott, I would have probably joined without a second thought. But I had met them, I had been embraced by them, and I didn’t know what I was going to answer.
I sat across from my parents on the kitchen’s island. They seemed excited, but a bit anxious. Obviously, revealing to your daughter the existence of supernatural beings and the fact that the whole family hunted them wasn’t an easy task. At least, she already knew the most hard-hitting information and she wouldn’t feel blindsided.
“Honey, what we have to tell you is very important, and we don’t want you to feel like we have been keeping this from you on purpose,” my mother started. “But you need to understand that everything we have to say today is nothing but the truth. Okay?”
“Guys, what is it? You’re scaring me.”
“You know that all Argents work at the family company, Argent Arms International, and that at some point you’d probably end up working there.”
“Yeah, dad. The reason I know too much about weapons,” I laughed. I couldn’t let on that I knew more than they thought.
“Well, the company is actually a front for the real work we do behind the scenes, and the reason we’re on the road a lot,” my father started. “Since the start of our lineage Argents have been hunters.”
“Hunters of what?”
“Now, I need you to remember that what I am about to tell you is the full honest truth.” I nodded. “We hunt supernatural creatures, but mainly werewolves. You remember the tattoo I have on my arm that you asked about when you were younger?”
“Yeah, ‘Nous chassons ceux qui nous chassent’. French, we hunt those who hunt us. I always thought it was more of a psychological phrase.”
“That’s our family mantra. All Argent generations have been trained since childhood to become hunters one day, Chris and I were the only ones that decided to give you and Allison the choice once you became teenagers to know about our world. It’s completely up to you to join us.”
“So, all the training, physical and with weapons, was all in preparation for this?” My father nodded. I could see the worry in his face of how I would take this news – a one-worded answer was going to shift my whole life. It was one thing to be knowledgeable of this life, it was another to be in the center of all of it.
“We run by a code,” my father explained. “We only hunt those who have been proven to have harmed innocent lives – only adults, no young ones, and no humans. Any hunter that breaks that code is an enemy to our cause.”
“Is that what aunt Kate did?” I spoke in a hushed tone knowing this was a difficult topic for my father, one that we hadn’t touched upon in the time we had been here.
“Yes, it is” my mother answered. Her dislike towards her sister-in-law wasn’t a secret. Mom had always thought of her as arrogant and self-centered – or so she would state when in an alcohol-induced rant.
“Unfortunately, my sister did break the code, but that’s beside the point,” dad interjected. “Sweetheart, we make sure that everyone around us is protected from the creatures that are unknown. So, what do you think? Do you want to join us?”
They both studied my face, waiting on any reaction that could arise from me. All I could think is how my decision could affect the people that had made their way into my life. Allison had accepted, and although her relationship with Scott was strained, she still managed to keep him close. But what if I accepted and all it did was deteriorate all the new relationship I was trying to build?
“Yes.”
After the conversation, my father warned me that training would start soon, after I passed some sort of test. They were happy that I had agreed to join the family trade, but I noticed a sign of worry in my father’s eyes. His whole life had been built around supernatural hunting, so what was he worried about? Whatever it was, he did not express. They had both been called away on a meeting and excused themselves before leaving. With the house to myself, I basked in my decision sitting on the living room couch, petting Brody.
“What do you think, bub? Did I make the right choice?” Brody looked up at me, his tongue hanging out, a smile on his face. A bark came after and I took it as confirmation that I had. “Maybe you’re right. We’ll see, huh? Should I call Derek and tell him?”
At the sound of Derek’s name, Brody barked out happily. I laughed at his reaction and decided to call Derek. It still surprised me that Brody had taken to Derek so quickly – probably had to do with him being a werewolf and an alpha. I clicked on his contact on my phone and waited on speaker for him to pick up.
“Hello?” His voice rang out, exciting Brody once more. “Hey, buddy!”
“He’s been very excited to hear from you.”
“I can see,” he chuckled. “I can assume you made it home safely?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“What’s wrong? You sound weird.”
“How can you possibly deduct my tone from over the phone?”
“Intuition, you could say. But seriously, what’s wrong?”
“Well, my parents talked to me about the family business,” I breathed out, nerves building up inside. I didn’t know what his reaction would be, and I hope my decision wouldn’t push him away. “They asked me to join them.”
“And what did you say?” He already knew the answer. Asking was just courtesy.
“I said yes.” He kept quiet for a second, and I truly believed I had ruined our relationship before anything had ever started. “Are you mad?”
“I can’t be mad. I understand why you did it, they’re your family. Why would you think I would be mad?”
“I don’t know. I’m gonna be actively working on hunting you and your kind, that would put a strain on any kind of relationship.”
“And what kind of relationship would that be?” He teased.
“Derek, this is serious. What kind of relationship could we have when we’re born enemies?”
“Allison and Scott seem to make it work. It’s hard, but it’s not impossible.”
“So, sneaking around, worrying every second that we’d be found out by hunters. Seems viable,” I snickered. “And in no way, shape, or form stressful. Believe me, Derek, I have enough anxiety as it is. I don’t need the stress of keeping all my relationships secret.”
“Do you have any other choice?”
“I guess I don’t.”
“The way I see it, (Y/N), is you can use this opportunity and work for both sides. You can protect us from the inside, and hunt those that are a real threat. Like the Kanima,” he stated. It made sense to work with my family to protect my friends, even if my family was hunting them. “And, as much as I hate saying this, you should talk to Allison about this. She seems to be handling this way better than I thought.”
“I will. Thanks, Derek. I’ll call you soon, okay?”
“I’ll be waiting. Sleep well, (Y/N).”
“You too, Derek.”
I hung up the phone and breathed out. My life had turned a lot more complicated than I had ever imagined, and I was sure it was going to turn a lot worse. I had just started dipping my toes in the supernatural pot we were living in, something told me that there was still so much that I didn’t know. And there was one person I knew would have the answers I was seeking.
I grabbed my jacket off the coat rack and got on my motorcycle, a clear route ingrained in my brain. The night was cold, and the breeze nipped at my skin as it blew under my shirt. There was so much I had to learn, and so little time.
The drive wasn’t long, and I was still surprised I remembered the way.
The lights in the McCall house were off, but the car was in front, so I assumed Scott was home. I would have gone to Allison, but I needed to know everything, and I was sure she would try to protect me from the worst of it. Scott seemed like someone I could trust, and being at the center of everything gave him a lot more insight that I could use. I looked around the house and, remembering which room was his, found a way to climb up the side to his window. Hopefully, I didn’t encounter something I didn’t want to see.
Looking away, I knocked on his window – loud enough for him to hear, but silent enough to not alarm his mom. I clutched my jacket tighter as I waited for an answer, the wind finding me easier on higher ground. It didn’t take long for the window to slid open, revealing a very confused Scott.
“(Y/N)?” He rubbed sleep off his eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”
“Sure.” He stepped aside and let me through. His room was messier than the last time I had seen it, and the bed was disheveled. On his desk, his computer was propped open, and a disarray of papers lived atop the wooden surface.
“Sorry for waking you, but this couldn’t wait.”
“Don’t worry. I couldn’t sleep anyway,” he chuckled. A lopsided smile taking place on his face. “So, what’s up?”
“Tonight, I was asked by my parents to join the hunters, and I agreed. But, going into this, I’m the one that knows the least about this world. Apart from Lydia, that is. I need to know everything you know about what we are up against. I don’t think our parents would have asked Allison and me to join now unless we were facing something truly dangerous.”
“Okay, I get it. And please don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you asking me and not Allison or even Derek? It seems like they would be the natural choice to ask about this.”
“Because they would try to shield me from the most dangerous aspects of what’s happening. Hopefully, you being a third party you’ll be truly honest about the situation we are in.” My tone came out friendly, but the underlying threat was evidently laced with it.
“Alright, where do you want me to start?”
“I want to know everything. No detail left out.”
“For me, this all started last year…”
And everything I learned. Scott had been bitten by Peter Hale, Derek’s uncle, who was alpha at the time. Most of last year he spent learning about his new werewolf life, which he believed he was alone in, until Derek, who came from a long line of werewolves that resided in Beacon Hills. The very same family my aunt had murdered. When he explained that part of Derek’s history, I couldn’t help but tear up. How could he ever stand being near me when my own blood had done that to him? Ripped him from his family in such a horrifying manner. I knew she had killed people but knowing that Derek was one of the survivors made my stomach knot.
He also told me how Derek came to be the alpha, and how Peter had held the alpha title also. And how my aunt had truly died. Everyone’s stories seemed to bundle into the same mess of supernatural chaos.
“Then, Jackson asked for the bite, which Derek gave him. And the thing about the bite, you sometimes turn into something other than a werewolf due to internal issues you could say. So, he became the Kanima, which is a lizard type-creature that looks for a master as we just recently learned. His main objective is to do as his master commands, and in his case, it's killing a bunch of people. He also secretes a venom that paralyzes people, but it didn’t work on you and Lydia.” Me? “Which was really weird – Lydia, we think it has something to do with Peter biting her. But you, we’re not sure. Because there’s no indication as to why you could possibly be immune. Unless you’re not human, but that would mean that Lydia’s not human either, and that doesn’t make sense.”
“Okay, Scott. You’re rambling,” I chuckled dryly, stopping him in his track. How he talked for so long, I did not understand. I believed Stiles was the only one with that ability. “How could you know that I was immune though? I haven’t had any contact with the Kanima or this venom.”
“Well, actually, the day we were making rock crystals in lab, Isaac had left some venom on Lydia’s crystal. You weren’t supposed to taste it, but it was a surprise when nothing happened to you. Have you ever been in contact with any other supernatural beings?”
“Seeing as I didn’t even know my parents were hunters, it’s safe to assume I haven’t. But I think finding out why I am the way I am is at the bottom of the list with this Kanima going around.”
“Yeah, and your family is making it very hard to do so when they’re actively hunting us.”
“They can’t be, they run by a code, and you guys are innocent.”
“But your grandfather doesn’t care. He lifted the code. He’s on a rampage towards all supernatural creatures, us included. They’re even keeping an eye on us at school – with Gerard running it and Victoria being our new teacher.”
“But we have the upper hand in learning about the Kanima, right? I mean, if my family is actively recruiting the younger ones, it means they are up against a threat they don’t know about, and we have the bestiary translated.”
“Kind of. I just have a feeling Gerard knows a lot more than he lets on.”
“Can’t really give insight on a person I don’t know. But anything I find out I’ll be sure to pass it along,” I smiled. “I still can’t believe all of this was happening right under my nose. How did I not notice?”
“It’s easy to ignore when you don’t know it exists. If I hadn’t been in the forest that night, I would be as in the dark as you were.”
“I guess so,” I smiled. “Thank you, Scott. For your honesty, and for trusting me with this information.”
“You’re one of us now, (Y/N). We look out for our own.”
“Thank you, Scott. I’ll leave you now to hopefully catch up on some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”
“Of course, (Y/N). We’re gonna meet up with Allison in the library to talk about the Kanima. I think it’d be good for you to be there.”
“I will.” My body was outside the house, squatting in front of the window. “Again, thanks, Scott. It’s good to know I have a friend looking out for us.”
“Don’t mention it, (Y/N).” He smiled, scratching his neck trying to hide the blush that had crept to his face. “Get home safe.”
I felt uneasy the whole ride back home. I truly couldn’t fathom how Derek old even spend a second with me after everything my family had put him through. My stomach hadn’t stopped turning, and I felt like I could throw up at any second. He didn’t deserve to have to look at a person that resembled the person that had screwed up his life. The tears started streaming from my eyes before I could stop them. It didn’t feel right, and it wasn’t right.
Somehow I made it back home. I had blacked out at some point and was moving out of muscle memory. I was glad my parents had not made it back home yet — I could let tears cascade without having to hide them. Allison and I had always looked up to our aunt. To us, she presented herself as a confident, independent, and badass woman. I still remember how one Christmas Allison and I had gotten into her clothes and pretended to be her. When Kate found us, she couldn’t help but laugh at the two little irks in front of her. She questioned what we were doing and we told her we wanted to be just like her. I recalled how I told her I wanted to grow up to be her. There’s nothing I wouldn’t have done to take that back. Had I know back then what I knew now, I would have stayed as far away from her.
“This family is all types of messed up. Huh, Brody?” My dog looked up at me, a questioning glance on his face. “What am I gonna do, bub? I don’t think I’m strong enough to face him. I really don’t.”
Brody barked, leaving kisses on my cheeks — a nimble approach to getting rid of my tears. I snuggled closer to him, enjoying his comforting presence. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep well tonight.
I was standing in the middle of Derek’s family home, the only light coming from the moon peeking through the clouds. It was a cold night, and the low temperature was seeping into my bones. My whole body ached and the air smelled of soot. I felt uneasy standing there. Now knowing its history, my heart clenched tightly. I could only imagine the pain that had ensued in what I presumed was an agonizingly slow death. The tears that escaped from my eyes burned into my skin, and my ears rang with an unknown high pitch. I kneeled on the floor, and attempt to catch m breath.
“It hurts doesn’t it?” I stood up, the unknown voice startling me. “The smell is the worst part.”
“Aunt Kate.”
“The screams weren’t that bad,” she chuckled. “They died down quickly. There’s so much screaming you can do when smoke fills your lungs.”
“Stop,” I sobbed. “Please.”
“I can just imagine them thinking it was a normal afternoon, and then the fire starts. You know, wooden houses are a very good catalyst to speed up a fire.”
“Stop.”
“(Y/N), come on.” Kate was grinning, a sinister smile that would have anyone shivering. “It’s only a matter of time before you do something similar. You and I have always been the most alike — centered, strong, morally grey. It’s in your blood, baby girl. At first, you’re gonna believe you’re on their side, but soon you’ll see that they’re all bad. Sooner or later they all spill innocent blood. It’s better to get them when they’re fresh, it’s so much easier”
“How can you talk like that? These are people’s lives you are talking about.”
“It’s different, sweetheart. They’re not normal, they’re a living abomination,” she rationalized. “This is all a game of power. We can’t allow them to have the upper hand. If we let that happen, they’ll overtake us, and there is a natural order to things.”
“Is that why you murdered a whole family of innocent beings? The family of a kid you tricked to fall for you, leaving him alone to suffer!” I yelled, the loudness hurting my throat. “You tricked Derek and used him to end his line. Why?”
“A pack is only as strong as its number. The bigger they are, the stronger they are. I was just doing my job,” she grinned. “Just like you did.”
“What are you talking about? I would never do something as heartless as you have.”
“Are you sure, honey? Why don’t you walk through that door and say that again.”
I stared at her like a deer stuck in headlights. My body shook as I slowly made my way to the dark front door of the house. Her eyes burned into every step I took, the sinus eerie grin still prominent on her face. With every step, her stare edging me on forward. There was a scene to unfold behind that door, and she was eager for me to see it.
I stretched my hand towards the doorknob but flinched when I felt the burning temperature it held. Kate said nothing as she encouraged me to open the door, daring me to face whatever I had to with just her gaze. I braced myself for the feeling and clasped my hand around the knob, turning it to reveal whatever it was that she wanted me to see.
The scene in front of me was heartbreaking. We now stood in front of Derek’s apartment complex, his loft lit aflame. The smell of ash was more prominent and the heat was almost unbearable. I tried to run into the building, the need to help any survivors growing in me. But Kate held me back, a painful grip holding onto my arm.
“Let me go!” I yelled through tears. “I need to save my friends.”
“Darling, don’t you get it?” She chuckled. “They’re all gone. All thanks to you. Look at your hands, honey.”
I did as she told, and my breath hitched in my throat when I did. My clothes were drenched in blood, and in my hands, I carried a bloody knife and a lighter. “No, I would never do this.”
“You already did.” She pointed forward, fixing my sight on the bodies that laid on the floor of the lot. “And some of them were innocent, too. But in war, there are always casualties. I mean, your cousin sided with them, and look how she ended up.”
I walked around the bodies, trying to find a sign of life in any of them as a flood of tears streamed out of my ducts.
Scott.
Stiles.
Lydia.
Isaac.
Allison.
Even Boyd and Erica were there.
But I didn’t see one important person. “Where’s Derek?” My voice croaked, barely the volume of a whisper.
“Who do you think is inside the building? It’s a fitting end for him. Dying in the way he shucked have years ago,” she laughed maniacally. “At least he’ll relate to his family when he gets to the other side.
“NO!” Once again I tried to run into the building, needing to risk my ice to save his. But she stopped name in my tracks once more, her grip tightening. “Let me go, please. Just let me go, I have to save him.”
“Honey, he’s already gone,” she scoffed. “Don’t you get it, sweetheart? There are only two ways this will end — it’s either you or them. And the sooner you accept it, the easier it will be; you are just like me.”
Tag List: @hellowinterlane​ @lokisgoddesofpower​ @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @malar-region @sunshine-flower
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Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-
You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!
One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...
Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.
Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:
A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.
The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.
Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!
THE YEAR IS 1996.
YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.
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Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.
I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.
"They're friends because they have the same name."
-the Logline for the series.
Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.
"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"
-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.
PAGE 1:
Ed, Edd n Eddy
They're best friends because they have the same name.
A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.
Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.
From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.
Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.
Lots of luck...
Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.
Later...
Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.
Ya Right...
Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.
Puberty is unforgiving.
I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.
I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.
I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?
I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.
Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.
Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?
The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.
PAGE 2:
Ed, Edd n Eddy
Show Description
Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash
Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.
Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)
The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?
Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.
Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.
You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.
Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.
Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).
They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.
Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.
Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".
I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.
I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.
A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.
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WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.
The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.
Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.
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My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!
The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.
PAGE 3:
Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)
Character Description
Ed
Attention deficiency syndrome.
He has trouble...
He can't....um...
OK, he draws all day in class.
When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.
Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.
Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.
Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.
Ed has sayings for all situations
ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."
Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.
Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.
Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.
Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.
Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.
Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.
Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!
Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....
Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...
PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)
PAGE 6:
Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)
Character Description
Edd
is really smart.
is really quiet.
Edd is unnaturally-- polite.
Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.
Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.
EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."
Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)
Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.
Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.
Edd constantly mumbles.
No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.
Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.
Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.
I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???
That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.
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Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.
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PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)
PAGE 9:
Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)
Character Description
Eddy
Exhibitionist.
Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)
Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.
He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.
Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.
Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.
Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).
He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.
His genes are working the fastest.
Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.
Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.
Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.
Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.
Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...
Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.
Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.
PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)
PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)
(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)
PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)
SARAH
Ed's baby Sister.
It's her way or the Highway.
She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.
She can be quick to judge.
Whinney.
A tatrum for every occasion.
More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.
Thinks Edd is kinda cute.
Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.
JIMMY
Sarah's best friend
He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.
He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.
He is very clean.
The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".
I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.
PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)
ROLF
First generation of a landed immigrant family.
Nationality not important.
He's proud of his heritage.
He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.
He eats "weird" things.
He has hair on his back..... "yuck".
He confuses the Ed's to no end.
He confuses the other kids to no end.
JONNY 2x4
He is a wanderer and very inquisitive
From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".
"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.
Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.
Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.
Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!
Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.
"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.
PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)
NAZZ
She's cool, calm and assertive.
She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.
She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.
Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.
When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.
She thinks the Ed's are funny.
KEVIN
He is cynical and sarcastic.
He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".
It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.
Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?
I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.
PAGE 18:
The Other Neighborhood Kids
Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.
The Kanker Sisters
These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.
They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.
They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.
Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.
No one likes them, especially the Eds.
They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.
Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...
I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.
I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!
PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)
PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")
PAGES 23+:
The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)
I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."
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My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!
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mirkwoodshewolf · 3 years
Text
A new kind of competition; RA on the Masked singer pt. 2
*Author’s note*
Okay I know I’m kinda doin this out of order but I was posting this part on Wattpad and since it was still in my copying memory I decided to post this part up first but no worries, pt. 1 will be posted up in just a minute. And I wanna tell you all that there will be only TWO MORE chapters left before I finally complete the Rock Angel series. Enjoy this chapter until next time my dears :)
Taglist:
@plethora-of-things
@waddles03
@psychosupernatural
@ixchel-9275
@simonedk
@queensdivas
@queen-paladin
@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels
@geek-and-proud
@starswin
@queendeakyy
@5sos-wdw
@onebigfangirlworld
@isabella-bby
@labessieisallama
@ssa-sadboi
@naturalswifty89
@wormzteef
@bohemiansweede
_________________________________________________________
*Round 5. THE SUPER 8*
Now it was starting to get serious, this was now the Super 8 and this was the first time this season that 2 people were gonna get eliminated.  I took a deep breath and gave a silent prayer to God and Freddie above to give me strength.
“And here to give us yet another star-stellar performance and another few hints as to who this mega star could be under the mask. Here’s the Lioness.”
The LIONESS; CLUE PACKAGE
“What very few people don’t know about me is that I didn’t always have that good of a homelife as a child.” I said as I walked through a child’s room.  I took hold of my stuffed lion and hugged him tightly as I continued, “The people who raised me were well—let’s just say they weren’t the nicest of people. The remainder of my childhood into adolescence was toxic for me.”
“Oh my god.” Nicole muttered sympathetically.
“Growing up with that much toxicity it really damaged my self-esteem. No matter how hard I tried, it just wasn’t enough for them.”
“Growing up in an abusive home.” Robin noted. “Wonder if she’s an advocate for domestic abuse?”
“But I knew I couldn’t let myself be buried underneath all that hatred. It took a long, long, long, long time. But I forgave them. Because in a way without them, I wouldn’t have found this inner strength within me.”
“You go Lioness.” Cheered Jenny.
“That’s why for this performance, if you or a loved one is dealing with toxic family members or partners. There’s no shame in admitting they’re in the wrong. Because if you continue to listen to their toxic lies, it’ll only lead you down one way. And you’re too good to leave this world just yet.” I set the stuffed lion down and punched the wall which shattered as I let out a proud roar.
I stood there on stage with the mic on hand as my girl Pink’s “Beautiful trauma” came on and I began singing in a ballad like tone first.  Slowly walking across the stage till I came upon a beautifully decorated swing (much like the Black Swan used a couple rounds ago).
*Me*
We were on fire I slashed your tires It's like we burned so bright we burned out I made you chase me I wasn't that friendly My love, my drug, we burn out
Oh
I got on the swing and it slowly raised up, lifting me all the way high above the audience as I sang the 2nd chorus. As the mantra part of the chorus came up, silk extended from the ends of the swing and I slowly swung back and forth making the silks dance gracefully in the wind.  When the bridge came up, I turned on my semi-good rapping skills. As I rapped out the bridge, the swing lowered me down towards the catwalk that stood in front of the judges.
Once my feet touched the ground and I sung the last verse, I walked towards the judges and sung before each of them.  
*Me*
The pill I keep taking The nightmare I'm waking There's nothing, no nothing, nothing but you My perfect rock bottom Beautiful trauma My love (my love), my love, my drug, oh
My love, my love, my love, my drug, oh My love, my love, my love, my drug, oh My love, my love, my love, my drug, oh My love, my love, my drug.
Mmm tough times they keep coming All night laughing and knackered Some days like I'm barely breathing Then after we were high and the love dope died, it was you
The pill I keep taking The nightmare I'm waking There's nothing, no nothing, nothing but you My perfect rock bottom My beautiful trauma My love, my love, my drug, oh
After walking back on stage with Nick standing at my side, he congratulated me on another amazing performance.  
“The Lioness is pulling our heartstrings once again.”
“I agree Nick. Especially after hearing that story of her going through domestic abuse that—that’s never an easy thing to go through. But Lioness let me just say you are a strong woman underneath. Because I can tell you’ve overcome that trauma and made a name for yourself.” Nicole told me.
I pounded my heart and raised my hand towards her.  She gave me a heart back.
“Now we raided through your fridge and found out just what exactly the Lioness loves to eat.”
“Oh come on Nick this is easy! She eats meat!” Ken exclaimed.
“Sit your butt down Ken!” Nick exclaimed. “Men in Black, bring out the Lioness’s favorite meal.” One of them came pulling out a cooler and sat it right beside Nick and he said. “Alright, let’s see what we’ve got in here.” There was a drumroll before he opened it to reveal a thermos that read JASMINE TEA.
“What’s that say on the thermos?” asked Jenny.
“Jasmine tea.”
“But there’s no food there!” complained Ken.
“To answer your Question Kenneth.” I scolded. That got the rest of the panel as well as Nick laughing. “Any type of food is good for me, but it’s this tea that will give you a clue. As to who I am.”
The audience and Nick ooed.  Jenny’s mouth opened widely as she rapidly pounded her stack of notes.
“Jenny it looks like you’ve got something.”
“I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! Okay so in the clue package she talked about her abusive childhood. Rough upbringing, but she didn’t say parents were the ones doing it. And the number code that was given to us awhile back, that 149121. I have been running through my head various codes as to what that could mean. Until the TEA is what gave me the idea.”
“Who is it?!” Ken demanded.
“At least she’s making more sense than you do Ken!” Robin dissed.
“Okay the code actually stands for 11-24-91. And this Rockstar has a tattoo of it on her shoulder with Angel Wings to remember her friend and mentor Freddie Mercury. This is most definitely the ROCK ANGEL (Y/N) KLINE!!!”
“Oh yeah that’s right. She does have a tattoo with that date on it.” Robin agreed with her.
“Nah I’m gonna disagree with you on that Jenny.” Ken said.  Oh boy here we go. “Now going off based off the clue package we saw domestic abuse. And on the number code the first few numbers I picked out were 911.  This actress started in a movie known as “The Call”. Welcome to the Masked Singer Halle Berry!”
I shook my head and crossed my arms at him.
“Look at her she’s agreeing with me.”
“Ken this is not Halle Berry!” Nick Cannon said.  I then waved bye to Nick as I proceeded to walk off the stage but he told me to come back, so I had no choice but to stand there. “See Ken you made the Lioness upset just like you did with Nick Carter last season.”
“Hey like I said before then. This isn’t the first time someone’s walked away from my guesses, and it won’t be the last.”
“I think I might have an idea on who it might be.” Nicole piped in.
“Go head Nicole.”
“Okay so we saw the domestic abuse, growing up in an abusive home. But I also remember from a few weeks back there was a sign that said AIDS. So I’m thinking she’s also an advocate for AIDS/HIV awareness. I’m gonna put my money on Rihanna.”
Oh wow that’s impressive.  But sadly she’s wrong.  Although I have helped Rihanna with some of her AIDS awareness promotion when the two of us were at a party together for MTV.  She told me she wanted to start a campaign for it but had no idea where to begin with it.  So I gave her some of my well known contacts and gave her some business advice that I remember learning from Deacy on how to handle everything.
“That’s not a bad guess. But Rihanna’s got a different voice. But whoever you are, you wowed us once again Lioness.” I bowed and blew them a kiss as Nick told me that I could head backstage.
“The judges are slowly but surely getting a grip with my identity. But I’m not ready to go home just yet. And if I somehow make it through, I’ll give them a performance that’ll definitely throw them off my scent.”
Thankfully, I was safe from being unmasked in this double elimination, however Seashell and the Yeti weren’t as lucky.
*Round 6. THE SPICY 6*
It’s down to the wire now.  This song might just make me or break me, especially since it’s the hardest song I’ll ever do in my entire singing career.  But like Freddie and I always say, “It’s go big or go home darling.”  Plus this is another special performance that I’m dedicating to.
“Now then we actually got to sit down and actually talk with this Megastar. Here’s what we managed to find out about the Lioness.”
THE LIONESS CLUE PACKAGE AND INTERVIEW.
This clue package showed me getting my mask taken off but I still had a black face cover hiding my entire face.
“Oh yes that feels so much better.” I praised at feeling the cool air on my face.  The Producer then asked me.
“So how has it been being the Lioness so far?”
“A lot of fun. She’s given me the courage to do things I never thought I could do before.” The screens would show some of my previous performances from getting on a wrecking ball to being lifted well over 10ft above an audience.
“What would winning the Masked Singer mean for you?”
“Well I’m not just doing it for myself. But for my pride as well. Especially my dad.”
“You’re dad?” I nodded.  The screens would then show me walking around my den with a picture of me and a shadow figure of a male lion.
“Not related by blood but he’s been my father figure for as long as I’ve known him. In fact without his love, I never would’ve found true love on my own. My husband, my kids, even my grandkids. They wouldn’t have existed had he not given me the love that I was denied growing up.” I stroked the picture of the shadow figure of the lion beside me.  The screen also showed my real family with my husband lion, 4 adult kids and 2 young grandkid cubs.
I pressed the frame up to my mouth and gave it a kiss, the screen even made a kiss sound effect as little hearts danced around it.
“So Papa Lion, this song is for you. I love you so much and thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” I blew a kiss to the camera as my clue package and interview ended.
The ballad opening for “I don’t wanna miss a thing” by Aerosmith came on and I took a deep breath.  This was it, but you’re doing it for Roger here (n/n).  Even though he won’t know it, this song is for him. I opened my mouth and soon began singing.
Once the bridge came around and the most difficult part of the song came on, I unleashed every ounce of alto rawness I had within me and just belted out that last yeah which made fireworks rain down from the ceiling and the audience seemed to enjoy it.
*Me*
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing Watch you smile while you are sleeping While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Cause moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't want to miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you, babe And I don't want to miss a thing
And I don't want to miss one smile I don't want to miss one kiss
And just stay here in this moment For all of the rest of time Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Don't want to close my eyes Don't want to fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't want to miss a thing
After finishing the song, fireworks came up behind me as I punched my fist into the air and panted from within my mask.
“Oh my god where did that come from!?” exclaimed Jenny.
“The lioness taking us to the far reaches of outer space with Armageddon!” Nick proclaimed as he came up beside me.
“I wanna say something first Lioness. That was probably your best performance ever.” Robin told me.  Oh my god seriously? I knew I had cracked up on that last ‘yeah’ but to hear him say this was my best performance surprised me. “You really laid it out on the line tonight with probably the hardest song but you executed it phenomenally.” He praised.
I bowed my hands in gesture to him telling him I wasn’t worthy.
“Alright now let’s see just who amongst our panel is the Lioness connected to.” The judges all looked up and soon my chute came down towards Ken but Nicole intercepted it from him and she said.
“Oh it’s for Jenny.” She passed it to Ken who passed it to Jenny and she saw the silver charm of a birthday cake.
“A birthday cake.” She told the crowd as she held the charm between her fingers.
“Jenny. I wanna thank your husband for performing at one of my kid’s birthday party.” At that the crowd got all suspicious and Jenny’s face was gaped wide in shock.
“Is Donny doing things behind your back?” Nicole accused Jenny.
“I hope not.” God these innuendos kill me. “Okay so apparently you know my husband Donny. But I-I don’t remember him ever telling me he performed at a kid’s birthday party.”
“What about the entire New Kids on the Block?” asked Robin.
“Possibly. Was it just my husband or the entire band that performed at your kid’s party?”
“You know she can’t answer that!” Nick snapped playfully.
“I’m sorry but I gotta know!”
“Alright panel. What’s this clue package doin for you?”
“Okay well in the clue package there was the picture of her family. I saw four grown kids and 2 grandkids. If she really is a grandma then I still gotta go with Rock Angel. Because her daughter Kelly just recently gave birth to a baby girl last year during the pandemic doing an at home birth.” Nicole said.
“Yeah and in the clue package she spoke about a father figure. And I read somewhere that she considers Roger Taylor from Queen her dad.”
“Okay, okay panel.” Damn they are starting to see it now.  But I hope this performance keeps me in the game.  “Well, all we know is was that was yet another killer performance. Make some noise for the Lioness. Go ahead and head on backstage.”
The judges really are seeming to close in on me. I really don’t wanna go home at this point but if I do then it is what it is.  I still had a lot of fun doing this show and it was an amazing ride.
But at the votes, I was surprised to see that it wasn’t me that was going home.  But the Russian Dolls, after doing Elton John’s song “I’m still standing”. I thought they did a hell of a lot better than me but I guess it’s not always the voices that count, but how you execute the performance.
Now it was onto the Semi-finals.
*SEMI-FINALS*
I’ve come too far to end this journey now. The Semi-finals is the last step to ensure that I can secure my spot in the finals.  And I have just the song to get me there.
“Week after week she has astounded us with pure, unadulterated vocals. But can she claim her spot for the finals. Let’s dig up some more clues on……the Lioness.”
THE LIONESS; CLUE PACKAGE:
“Being in this competition has taught me a lot about myself. On one side there’s the Lioness I present before the media, when I preform or out in the public. Then there’s the Lioness I am around my pride. A mother, a daughter, a grandmother. And I think that’s really the best job compared to my career.”
“She’s definitely a family woman.” Jenny stated as she took down some notes.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere without my family. They are my rock. Even those that had left me I still see them throughout my life.” I stood before a funhouse mirror maze and saw various shadows surrounding me. “And it’s their voices that give me the courage to continue the fight. So for this performance I’m gonna pull out all the stops and just allow you all to see the real me. Nothing but my raw vocals. I’ve fought to hard and I’m just not ready to go home yet.”
The stage screens were lit up with a rain animation as well as rippling water.  I stood there alone with the mic and the spotlight down on me as I sung the song that was once offered to me for the Original movie, but I recommended the Producers to Christina to do the song.
As the song grew more fiercer with the soft drumbeats and my voice became more powerful and intense, I could feel tears filling my eyes once more.  I was gonna get to the finals even if it costs me my voice.
*Me*
Look at me You may think you see Who I really am But you'll never know me Every day It's as if I play a part
Now I see If I wear a mask I can fool the world But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don’t know?
There's a heart that must be free to fly That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal What we think, and how we feel?
I won't pretend that I'm Someone else for all time When will my reflection show Who I am inside? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?
At that last belt which I held longer than I ever held a note before.  A 9 full seconds which made the crowd go berserk.  I could see some people wiping their tears away as I sung the last couple of notes before finally ending it with a bow of my head.
“Heartfelt! Lioness once again pulling our heartstrings.”
“Okay I just need to say this Nick.” Ken said.
“Go ahead Kenneth.”
“Throughout this entire competition especially when it comes to the Semi-finals, it all comes down to who wants it most. And Lioness—” he wiped his tears away. “You didn’t just show us that you wanted a spot in the finals. You proved you’re worthy of the Rock Gods!”
Aww Dr. Ken.  I blew him a kiss and patted my heart and he blew me multiple kisses back.
“For once I agree with Ken.” Robin said.  “If people didn’t get teary eyed when you performed Whitney Houston’s hit song, they’re definitely not dry eyed by now.” The 2 women nodded in agreement.
“I agree with the guys. I grew up listening to this song. And to hear your voice do this song, not only did you just sing it. You felt it. And when a singer feels a song, it makes it that much more powerful.” Nicole added.  I nodded and replied to her.
“Agreed Nicole. This song……it really spoke out to me when I first heard it. And…..during a really, really rough time in my life. It—got me through so much.” I spoke through my choked tears. Knowing the judges could sense that I was crying underneath the mask, they all awed at me as Nick rubbed my back.
“Lioness even getting emotional up here. Panel, any guesses as to who she might be?”
“All I can say and have been saying is that this is a true, professional performer. And just that belt alone showed us what you’ve got. A true fire within you. Now I know that I’ve said the Rock Angel a couple of rounds but just this week alone hearing the voice, I wanna say this is Christina Aguilera.” Jenny said.
“But wouldn’t it be risky for her to do her own song?” Robin asked.
“She could’ve disguised her tone in order to sing it. But that recognizable control of the belt has to be her.” Jenny reasoned with him.
“I don’t think so Jenny. Cause in the clue package she says she’s a grandmother and Christina ain’t no grandmother yet. I’m still gonna say this is the Rock Angel.” Nicole said.
“Alright well, another heartfelt performance. Give it up one last time for the Lioness.” I waved to the audience and blew kisses at them before exiting the stage.
By the end of the round (and finding out the identity of the infamous Cluedle-Doo being none other than Jenny’s husband Donnie Wahlberg) it was time to see just who was gonna get eliminated and find out who was going into the finals.  I stood there with my hands in a prayer as I mouthed out a prayer before Nick finally said the contestant going home.
“The Black Swan!” oh no!  She’s actually been my favorite singer in our group.  Hell she and I were the only ladies representing Group B and now it was up to me.  “So congrats to the Piglet, Chameleon and Lioness, we will see you three in the finals.” I walked up towards Black Swan and gave her a hug and she hugged me back. “Aww look at that, Lioness giving Black Swan a hug. Seems we’ve got a friendship up here.”
I patted the side of her face before bopping her beak and finally left behind Chameleon.  Well it was up to me now, could I secure another female winner for the Masked Singer? Or be runner up? Only fate and the superfans will determine that.
*?????? POV*
I was reading the paper as per my morning routine.  Nothing new except this whole COVID talk and false expectations on the vaccine delivery. The world really has gone to shit hasn’t it these past few years?  That’s when I got a ding on my phone from my daughter Laura.  I unlocked it and read her text with a link to a video.
Dad, is this who I think it is?
Video: MASKED SINGER THE LIONESS
I think I might’ve heard of this show. Yeah it started off in America and after it’s popularity, various of other countries began it.  Here in the UK we just completed season 2, so this must be the American version.  I’ll admit the costume on the thumbnail looked beautiful and the detail was astounding.
I clicked on the video and it read THE MASKED SINGER S.5 SEMI-FINALS LIONESS.
The lights were dimmed and the second she opened her mouth to sing, my heart skipped a beat and I went frozen in my chair. Quick as I could I turned on our smart TV and opened up the YOUTUBE app on the TV and impatiently waited for it to open up.
“My love?” Veronica’s voice spoke as she came down.
“I’m fine dear!” I told her as the app finally uploaded.  I went over to the mic icon and pressed down on it and spoke into the remote. “The Lioness Masked singer.”
Soon enough various videos popped up and soon the video that Laura sent me was the first option.  I clicked on it and of course bloody ads had to come up. “Oh for god’s sake!”  I sat down on my chair as the video finally played and I could hear the rest of the song.
“Reflection” by Christina Aguilera.  This version was the recently updated one for the live action remake but just hearing this voice alone I knew only one person who could sing like that.
It had been decades since we last saw one another, shortly after 9-11 to be exact.  But even though I’m no longer involved with the music business anymore, I’d always ask Brian or Rog to keep an eye on her and tell me everything about her.
And now seeing her perform as this Lioness creature for such a show, they didn’t know just how lucky they were to be in her presence.  As the song got more powerful, I could feel these old bones of mine feeling warm and secure, tears filled my eyes and at that last belt, goosebumps came all over my body and a shiver ran up my spine.
There was a slight tremble in her voice as she ended the song.  I knew it was because she was crying underneath that mask but as always she holds out strong and finished the song as beautiful as ever.
The audience roared with applause bringing back some memories of when she went on tour with us.  Only her and one other person could get a crowd to sound just like that.
“She’s gotten stronger with her vocals.” My wife’s voice spoke from behind me.
“She was taught by the best. And she now coaches the best.” Ronnie took her place by my side, placing her hand on top of mine.
“You really should give her a ring sometime. I’m sure she’d love to hear from you.” I turned away from her.  “You can’t have the boys and me be your messengers forever. I know for a fact she’d be happy to hear your voice again.” I sighed deeply. “At least think about it my love.”
“I will.” I placed my hand on top of hers and gave her a light peck on the cheek.
“Are there any more performances of her on this show? Luke says she’s been all over the media being the Lioness.”
“Well that was the Semi-finals performance, let’s see if someone collab all of her performances together.” I went back to the search box and soon found about a half hours’ worth of (Y/n)’s performances. I clicked play and soon her 1st performance came up.
Seeing her dance reminded me of our times on the dance floor back in the day.  She was the only person able to keep up with my crazy dance moves, and that’s why she was always the perfect dance partner.  Even Ronnie agreed to that statement.
“That girl never changes. She’s still got it even after all these years.” Ronnie smiled.
“That she does love, that she does.” God she has grown so much since the last time we parted.  Her voice much more mature and able to do things she never did before. And some of the stuff that she’s doing on this show is bonkers.
Never did I think I’d see her on a makeshift wrecking ball or be lifted high above the stage on a swing with silk ropes dangling down from it.
I hope she takes the gold and win this little show of hers because she rightfully deserves it.
*FINALE*
It is time.  Do or die now.  It was me vs. Piglet vs. Chameleon.  After performing a beautiful, angelic performance with last season’s winner LeAnn Rimes, the finals were finally ready to start.
After a couple months of going from 14 down to 3, it all came down to this moment right here, to determine who was gonna be this season’s Masked Singer champion.  Chameleon went first and then I was going to be next.  Chameleon had stuck to his rapping but I could hear more singing out of him this time around and he actually had a pretty good voice.
“Up next. She’s been putting us through a roller coaster of emotions. From hard rock to ballad. Here is the last performance and your last chance to guess at who is beneath, the Lioness.”
FINAL CLUE PACKAGE.
I was walking through a tunnel slowly.  One foot in front of the other.
“Being on the Masked Singer has really been a lot of fun. When I first came on here, never did I think I was gonna make it this far.” The screen would show highlights of all my previous performances along with some additional clues.
Like a familiar band logo at the corner and season 3’s champion Night Angel’s wings. And the year 1981.
“This song was written by a very dear friend of mine. A friend that was taken from us far too soon. But it’s through this song that win or lose, I’ll always take with me till the day I die. Because no matter what, we will always make it through the tough times, especially with what we’re going through now with the Pandemic.”
The stage was dark except for a few lights as the familiar tune of Freddie’s last song he ever performed in the studio came on. I was having brief flashbacks of that day in the studio seeing him record this very song but I had to get my mind right as I sung the first verse.
Once the chorus kicked in, fire exploded from behind the stage as my rock and roll band came back on once more.  The stage was mine to command one last time as I walked across it for the chorus, giving it my all, just like Freddie did.
By the time the bridge came on, my voice was starting to tremble but I kept my emotions under control till the end of the song.  When I got around towards the end of the song, I would hold out a few of the notes till I finally belted out the last note much like Freddie did on the record.
And I swear it was like I could hear him singing alongside me, guiding me to hold the note out longer.
*Me*
Empty spaces, what are we living for? Abandoned places, I guess we know the score, on and on Does anybody know what we are looking for? Another hero, another mindless crime Behind the curtain, in the pantomime Hold the line Does anybody want to take it anymore?
The show must go on The show must go on, yeah Inside my heart is breaking My makeup may be flaking But my smile, still, stays on
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies Fairy tales of yesterday, grow but never die I can fly, my friends
The show must go on
Yeah, yeah! The show must go on
Oh yeah! Yeah! I'll face it with a grin I'm never giving in On with the show
I'll top the bill I'll overkill I have to find the will to carry on. On with the show. Show. The show must go on.
As the song ended, fireworks fell down from the roof and fire and smoke exploded from the side of the stage as I panted heavily with my arms extended outward.  With the last struck of the drums and guitar, I punched my fist into the air.
I sent a quick kiss to the Heavens as the audience went insane.  I saw all five judges on their feet applauding me.
“The Rock and roll Lioness showin us that the Show must always go on.” Nick praised.
“I swear each and every performance you do, it just gets better and better! You could just be this season’s winner.” Jenny told me.  I clenched my hands and did a victory gesture with them, I could only hope I’d win but it’s not up to me.
“I would agree. She just keeps escalating and escalating her performances and I’m just in awe whether it’s her rocking out or pulling our heartstrings with her raw voice.” Nicole said.  Even last year’s winner LeAnne said.
“Hearing this voice alone makes me feel like I’m looking at a champion singer here.” I placed my hand over my heart in thanks.
The judges then proceeded to do some more guesses, Robin and Nicole were saying that I was the Rock Angel while Jenny was saying that I could be Christina Aguilera and of course Dr. Ken (out of the blue) decided that I was Beyonce.
“So tell us Lioness, what would it mean to you to win this competition?” Nick asked me.
“Well Nick, winning would mean that I’ve given my fans a whole new side of me that they’ve never seen before. But even if I don’t win, I still had a blast being here.”
“We were happy to have you here. Give it up one more time for the Lioness everybody!” I waved to the audience and walked backstage.
“This whole experience has been a wild ride. But I had a lot of fun, win or lose.” I told the camera with the Men in Black behind me.
The Piglet then did his song, “Faithfully” by Journey and man did he kill it.  He definitely pulled my heartstrings with that performance.  So it could be a close race between him and I, or there could be a game changer and Chameleon could take the trophy as the first rapper to sing solely Rap/Hip-hop songs.
“Tonight was a star-worthy performance, but as we know only one can take home the Masked Singer trophy. Now it’s up to our judges and Superfans at home to vote for your favorite now.” I stood between Chameleon and Piglet with my hands together in a prayer.  “The votes are in. The contestant with the least amount of votes and in 3rd place is…….”
There was suspense in the air as I felt my foot shake just waiting for Nick to say which one of us got in 3rd place according to the votes of the judges as well as America.
“The Chameleon!” the audience gaped in shock. “That means Piglet and Lioness you both are safe and can head backstage before we call you both back out to crown a winner. Let’s make some noise for the Chameleon everybody!” I walked up to the Chameleon and extended my hand and we shook hands before I walked with Piglet at my tail as we both waited backstage.
About 10 minutes later, we were told to come back onto the stage to finally crown a winner of Season 5 of the Masked Singer. Piglet and I stood on opposite sides of Nick as he held in his hand, the envelope with the Winner’s name.
“Welcome back to the Masked Singer.  It is now time to crown our new Season’s champion. Piglet, or Lioness. Which one of you will be taking the golden masked trophy home? The votes are in by the judges and the super fans. And the winner is……..” I could see Piglet’s legs shaking as he has made them every time throughout this entire season, while I was rubbing my hands together nervously.
Nick opened the envelope before proclaiming into his microphone.
“THE PIGLET!!” confetti soon exploded covering both me and Piglet up with strings of blue and silver confetti.  Piglet stood there shocked while I clapped for him. He deserved the win, he did a great performance and a great song to close out this season with.  He took the golden mask trophy and danced with it as Nick said.  “Congrats again Piglet you are this season’s champion. Which means you can stand over there in the championship booth till it’s time to unmask you.”
Before Piglet left, I walked up to him and patted his shoulder before giving him a hug and he hugged me back.
“Aww Lioness is being all cuddly with our contestants here.” Piglet and I shook hands with each other for a good competition while I went back to my spot to be unmasked once and for all.  “Lioness you’ve wowed us week after week and as sad as we are to see you go, I think I speak for everybody here, we cannot wait to see who you are!”
The judges all agreed as well as the audience.
“But first, let’s bring out the first Impression guesses. Men in Black! Bring ‘em out!” I could already see the judges pleading for them to not to.  “Yeah it’s been like—months since you guys wrote these down.”
“Can we please not do this Nick?” pleaded Jenny.
“Too late. And the first guess is from…..Nicole.”
“Oh god.”
“You guessed……Christina Aguilera. Not a bad guess.”
“Yeah that really isn’t a bad guess. However I’m not gonna stick with that. Based off the clue package of LGBTQ, and growing up in a domestic abusive home, plus the recent clue package with the symbol of the band Queen’s logo and the Rock n Roll hall of fame right beside that. I’m gonna go with the Rock Angel (Y/n) Kline.”
“Okay. Okay. Let’s see who else we’ve got here……Robin!”
“Oh no.”
“You guessed……Pink.”
“Oh that’s not too bad.” He shrugged.
“You stickin with it?”
“I am not gonna stick with that. Like Nicole I did see the Queen logo in this week’s clue package and just going off by the voice alone. I re-listened to some old records and this is clearly the Rock Angel herself.”
“Alright 2 votes for the Rock Angel. Mrs. Jenny McCarthy.” Jenny sunk down in her chair as Nick grabbed her envelope and opened it up. “Your first impression of the Lioness was……also Pink.”
“Oh thank god I thought I had pulled a Ken guess.” She wiped her hand across her forehead as Ken exclaimed.
“Hey!”
“Ken sit down! Are you sticking with that guess.”
“No. The number code we were give, the 149121. Which I’ve coded as her tattoo for the date of Nov. 24th, 1991, the date when Freddie Mercury sadly passed away from complications from AIDS. And seeing how she talks about her family, her kids, her papa Lion. I’m going for (Y/n) Kline the Rock Angel!”
“Alright, alright, alright. Dr. Ken……” oh this outta be interesting to see who he thought I was at the first performance.  He opened Ken’s envelope and laughed.
“What? What did he write!?”
“Janet Jackson!” oh my god! That even got me weak in my knees as I laughed.
“With those dance moves I thought it could be her! No one could’ve done that dance better than she could! DON’T LAUGH AT ME!!”
“Are you sticking with that guess?”
“No because the clue package doesn’t support it. Okay so we’ve had LGBTQ, domestic abuse. She’s a family woman with 4 kids and apparently 2 grandkids. Although I think the grandkids is a lie. She went through some tough times throughout her personal life. This is none other than Lady Gaga! Welcome to the Masked Singer!”
“What?!” Nicole exclaimed.  “But she’s not a mom!”
“Well then she could be lying about the kids then too all I know is that the rest of my brilliant theories lead to Lady gaga!” I shook my head and placed my hands over my mask shaking my head in defeat. “See! She’s even admitting I’m right!”
“No she’s not she’s just done with how ridiculous your guess is.” Nick said.
“Well I don’t care. This is Lady Gaga and I’ll take it to my grave!”
“Alright. Ms. LeAnne. As our guest panelist you have the last say in who you think this might be.”
“First of all let me just say you are a super star whoever you are under there. If we had competed against each other last year, I would’ve been quaking in my boots.” We all laughed. “This is truly a rock legend under here with the few rare female rockstars that came with the time. And I actually got the privilege to see her perform with the band Queen one year for a birthday party. And there’s only one person that I’ve seen on stage that can sing with as much fire as you Lioness. And that is the Rock Angel herself.”
“Okay Panel. Everyone except for Ken Jong has agreed on their final guesses. Lioness! It is time for the moment we’ve all been waiting for. We wanna know—whose behind the mask. It is time for you to Take it off!”
“Take it off! Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!” everyone soon started chanting.  I held my arms out in a shrug before shrugging my shoulders and finally reaching for my mask and tried to lift it off.  Nick was helping me as the audience and the judges kept chanting.  I could tell I was keeping them in suspense, just wait until they see it’s really me.
Finally the mask came off.
I shook my head and pulled my hair out of my face and the crowd went nuts, the judges all jumped up and cheered.
“THE ANGEL OF ROCK HERSELF! ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAMER! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE ONE AND ONLY (Y/N) KLINE!! THE ROCK ANGEL!!!”
“OH MY GOD!!” I heard some of the judges exclaim.
“Look how beautiful she is!” Nicole praised me. I waved to the audience and gave them a “Freddie Mercury” like bow with a twirl of my hand.
“Hello LA!” I said.
“Angel! Angel! Angel! Angel!” I heard the crowd chanting out.
“Wow it is such an honor and a privilege to be standing here next to a true Rockstar.”
“It’s an honor to be here Nick. Thank you all for having me here.” I told him.
“Tell us why did you choose to be in this show?”
“I know this answer gets told a lot but for me personally I speak from the hard truth that we should all strive to do different things cause—you never know which days are gonna be your last.” I hinted my potential death scare almost 20 years ago.  The judges all nodded in understandment.
“And I’m told that you also wanted to say something about this performance in particular?”
“Yes. The song I had done wasn’t originally my choice.” The audience as well as the judges all looked at me in surprise. “Originally the Producers wanted me to do a Katy Perry song, but……this coming November will mark the 30th anniversary of the day my boys and I lost our beloved Freddie. And…….being there the day he recorded this song in only one take. I felt in my soul that I had to do this for him. To give him a grand performance because due to this covid Queen and I aren’t touring till we feel it’s safe to start touring again, like many artists are. So I really wanted to honor Freddie with a performance that I hope did him proud.”
“Well you did just that.” Jenny told me.
“Thank you. And I’m glad you managed to catch that Jenny, you truly are the Masked Singer detective.” She pointed out to me and that’s when last season’s winner LeAnne said.
“I grew up listening, to both you and Queen. And—I can say for a fact that you definitely did Freddie Mercury proud. And it’s good that you and the remaining members of Queen continue his legacy. Sure it’s not the same as it was before but you don’t refer to him just in the past. But in the present.”
“Thank you LeAnne dear.” I thanked her as I blew her a quick kiss.
“I just gotta say (Y/n). You absolutely crushed the choreography with Janet’s song for your first performance as well as your wrecking ball routine. I think those were my favorite performances of yours, will we expect any of that once you start your solo tours back up?” Nicole asked me.  I laughed along with the audience.
“You never know.”
“Well it has truly been an honor to have you on our show. Now then ladies and gentlemen, to sing for us one last time give it up. For the artist formerly known as the Lioness, the Rock Angel (Y/n) Kline!” the audience applauded and I sung “The Show must go on” one final time for the audience.  Putting my heart and soul into the lyrics before finally belting out that last note in a different key before punching my fist into the air and sending a kiss towards the heavens for Freddie.
After the show all ended and a few days passed by, I did a livestream on my Instagram as well as my Youtube page telling my fans that I was indeed the Lioness and just talking about my experience on the show. Of course Bri, Rog and Adam blew up my phone with calls/texts/DM’s (mostly Adam. Bri and Rog still don’t quite get DM’s) telling me why I lied and did that show in the first place.
I gave them my straight answer that I wanted to have a bit of fun and do some type of performance and show the audience a whole new side of me when it came to performing.
I was just about to go to bed after bidding Georgie goodnight (he had to work a late nightshift tonight) when my phone rang. I picked it up to see it was an unknown number from London.  Curiously, I pressed the answer button and said.
“Hello?”
‘Sister dear.’ My heart stopped and I sat down on the bed.
“Brother mine?” I choked out.
‘Hey love. It’s uhh—been awhile, hadn’t it?’
“Try 20 years yah rotter.” I teased as we both softly chuckled. “What—how…..”
‘Laura sent me a video of you on the Masked Singer. The American one. You were beautiful up there.’ I placed my hand over my heart. ‘Although I do wish you had won. That—boy band person couldn’t hold a candle to you.’
“Oi now, Nick Lachey did just as well as I did.” I softly lectured him.
‘Well I still feel like you should’ve won.’ I smiled solemnly.
“Was it just because of the Masked Singer that you wanted to call me?”
‘That and…..’ he trailed off.  I lay against my bed and softly spoke to him.
“Deacy?”
‘I…….’ he sighed heavily. ‘I know I haven’t been the best at keeping contact.’
“John.” For the first time since……probably back when I was an intern for Miami all the way back in the autumn of 1980, I called him by his first name (unless I referred to him him by his full name did I call him John, most of the time it was Deacy).  “I get it. Plus my schedule has been quite hectic. And you—you’ve been busy yourself. After all Queen would’ve fallen decades ago without your financial brain.” We both shared another laugh.
From then one we talked pretty much the entire night up until it was almost 6am my time before we finally said our goodbyes. It was sweet to hear from him once again after so long.  Now whether or not I’ll ever hear from him again, I don’t know.
But at least I know my Brother Mine is still keeping his eye out for me, in one way or another.
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Hi guys! As promised to that Anon, I wrote the timelines. I decided to write only the key points though because these are things we already know, and then, I’m sure there are more than a thousand proofs around and people who have already spoken about it. Enjoy.
Drum roll, please 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁
Let’s start with the first competitor: Tyrone William Griffin, aka Typical Dish Snacked Ty Dolla $ign 04/13/1982, the man who liked to tweet things like “I’m the curator of lesbians”.
PRen Tyren: As I already mentioned in the post “There is a light at the end of the tunnel”, it all started on the evening of November 15, 2016, when 5H went to the Epic party. Due to Laucy’s picture of the wedding and the ‘official’ coming out then occurred a few days later, on November 18, 2016, Lauren needed a boyfriend. That same night at the party, Typecast accepted the management’s proposal.
Typo tweeted “LMJ” on January 4, 2017, and then immediately deleted it. First move to create speculation since, presumably, Lauren ‘was’ still with Ludicrous. Shortly thereafter, a blind item about L who was having an affair with a married man came out. On January 10, 2017, Nicole Cartolano posted that picture of Laucy in the snow with a piñata. After wishing her a happy birthday, as we already know, luBYE. On February 13, 2017, there were the first PRren pictures at the Grammy after-party, so that people would start believing the blind item, BUT, making it clear that he wasn’t a married man, but a taken one, and yes, MAN, since Tyred is 14 years older than her, and therefore inculcating the idea that L was really cheating on Luggage. On March 9, 2017, Tymbal posted a picture of them together, coincidentally, the day after he advertised his upcoming album ‘Beach House 3’.
On March 22, 2017, we had ‘Bare With Me’ and Nicole Cartolano’s interview with MTV News. On the 23rd, we had, still very coincidentally and totally unplanned, “no I hate it because it’s invasive, scary, delusional, disrespectful to us both and was never real��Ever”, because, because, SHE DECIDES. NOT US. PERIOD. (sorry, I had to 😂. This is another of L’s tweets dating back to July 2, 2017: “I decide. Not you. Period.”) Joking apart, because she was single and she certainly couldn’t let the fans have hope for her and C, so she tried to kill the Camren ship for the umpteenth time. “Hey, hey, Lo, how’d it go? That bad, eh?” “Let me try again in 2020.” “Laur, babe, I’ll tell you what. I’m from the future, okay? It didn’t work, honey. And I don’t think it’s gonna work either in, I don’t know, in 2030.”
Back to the program.
The day before Nicole’s MTV article and eight days later, Twix posted a series of tweets (21: “Lo” - 30: “You look better on me 👀”, Cuban flag, and “I think she like me 😍”) [👈🏼 ‘Great grammar’ said in Lauren’s voice] which he then of course deleted to make everything more and more mysterious, and thus making people connect and figure out who was that ‘LMJ’ tweeted in January. On April 14, 2017, we had a picture of L with TyPod and his family dating back the night before when they celebrated Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’s birthday, followed by the blurred picture of the 15th of them together at Coachella. On April 18, 2017, Alycia Bella, Tinky Winky’s ex, tweeted “when you get cheated on w a 5th harmony member & all you can do is laugh.”, and then immediately deleted it, thus giving even more confirmation to people that both had cheated, despite Teletubbies denied and defended himself: “been moved on :) no cheating. Keep it Taylor’d. gang gang 🤘🏽🤘🏽”. The same Alycia who complained of being cheated on by Telly for ‘another girl’ during the reality show ‘The Platinum Life’ which aired on October 15, 2017 and that was recorded MONTHS BEFORE.
There were other tweets that Tyronic continued to tweet and then delete (April 1: “I think about you all the time” - April 3: “You my favorite” and “I don’t know what I did to deserve you” - April 7: “Really like what you’ve done to me”), Insta-stories and posts by both, and other public appearances together to increase the public’s curiosity. Such as: 1) Mani’s birthday. 2) August 16, 2017, when 5H did that famous and messy phone interview with The Sun for Dan Wooton’s podcast, one of Salmoned Cow’s well-known puppies friends, during which Dan asked Lauren about his relationship with Twinkly and she replied that they were just vibing. 3) Lauren’s birthday. 4) On September 11, 2017, Lauren posted pictures about the FentyxPuma party, and in one of those posts with pictures of her and Troglodyte, she put the caption with three hearts emojis, thus confirming to people that she and Tipsy were together.
February 2017 was the chosen month for Pukeren to ‘become’ official, confirmed by Typed in an interview at the Power 105.1 FM morning show The Breakfast Club on October 31, 2017, though, so a long time later and when the waters had already calmed down. By saying February, Tyring confirmed the cheatings exactly as it was planned. In another interview with BigBoyTV made on November 2, 2017, Typology showed the interviewees how even the background of his phone was a picture of Lauren. Picture that, by the way, Lauren herself posted 21 days before that by wearing Tijuana’s merchandise sweatshirt, so not even a personal picture that you’d normally expect to see from a real boyfriend.
Blah blah blah, Lauren never needed to defend a person so much in her life, blah blah blah, weed and booze and parties, blah blah blah, dogs (and fake allergies when convenient), blah blah blah, #Laurenthegroupie, blah blah blah, Tara and social media don’t get along very well, blah blah blah, #freepoorTweed ⛓️👮🏼 who was just having some fun with his friends, blah blah blah. We know the rest of the farce, and moving on to two years later, and therefore at the end of the PR, on April 15, 2019, Tic Tac tweeted a broken heart before zeroing his social media and Lauren a post on her social media, both implying the end of their oh so real ‘relationship’.
🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁
Let’s move on to competitor number two: Maturely Hushed Matthew Hussey, 06/19/1987. The scammer par excellence (since 2012). The salesman who pretends to be a life coach/dating advice expert by deluding poor women who fall into his bullshit. The charlatan who has an infinity of fraud charges and even a restraining order for stalking and harassment by a woman named Samantha C. of San Diego. [this woman continually talked about the situation on her Instagram account, cheating_matthewhussey. Even Chelsea Briggs liked a picture.]
Ewmila Mattmila: The skit was supposed to start a lot sooner in reality. They ‘met’ for the first time on September 29, 2017, on the set of NBC’s Today show (performance that C dedicated to the Dreamers), but nobody has heard much about it, right? There was only a single Billboard article that did that. Following that meeting, it was supposed to start in October 2017, when they also started to follow each other on IG, but everything was postponed because C’s album was postponed. The album was released on the 12th, and by pure coincidence, on January 11th, 2018, during the interview with Elvis Duran, and COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE, C mentioned Matilda for the first time by saying she was a fan of his. The same Mattress (10 years older than her) who coincidentally was there that day, so a setup for the public to make believe that they’d met that day.
The next day, at the release of the album ‘Camila’, C performed at Good Morning America, and Macaque, again by pure coincidence, had a small slot in the same program. On January 15, 2018, during the interview with Zane Lowe, when he asked if she had someone special in her life at that time, she replied with “maybe”, which was a big yes when she read “I can’t say your name without smiling” just before from her phone notes. On January 22, 2018, on Zach Sang Show, C said that she’s a private person and that she doesn’t like the ‘public thing’ since the Austin fiasco. Another bullshit said to make the public believe that it was the truth and take advantage of the events that would happen shortly thereafter, since, literally 18 days later, on February 9, E! News exclusively posted the first Burpmila pictures on vacation on a beach in Cabo, Mexico.
Blah blah blah, we know, blah blah blah, they lived in airports to get papped, blah blah blah, they even paid fans to do it, blah blah blah, “He’s great”, blah blah blah, “She’s great”, blah blah blah, #They'reGREAT!, blah blah blah, let’s kiss in a children’s playground #Sinu #needyCamila #someonepleaseteachStMatteohowtoholdagirl #SofiwasdecidingwhethertoreturntotheSagradaFamiliaorgoontheswingratherthanwitnessthatugliness, blah blah blah, let’s get to the first oh so real oh so important obstacle in their story.
On August 12, 2019, a Dutch singer named Elieve did an interview in which she confessed that she and Camila were dating the same guy (Matchbox) at the same time. Elieve was in London from the beginning of January to the beginning of February 2018 and Matzo was in London from January 14 to 19, so they met on one of those days.
Blah blah blah, let’s pretend we’ve overcome this obstacle, blah blah blah, let’s pretend we’re a super happy couple, blah blah blah, Disneyworld, blah blah blah, let’s go skiing, blah blah blah, trip to Italy, blah blah blah, Shawn’s entry, blah bl- wait… Oh yeah, it’s the second PR’s turn. Goodbye Ew! ‘Thank you very much for nothing. Bye-bye!!’ said in Lauren’s voice. End of ‘story’ on May 11, 2019, that is, the last time they were photographed together, news confirmed on June 25, 2019, only 4 days after the release of Señorita.
🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁
Even if it wasn’t part of the request, this is a bonus of mine just because.
Señorita + Shitmila Showmila Shawmila: On January 27, 2018, Camila, Shaky, and Andrew, Shavable’s manager, were papped in a restaurant eating pizza before the Pre-Grammy Gala in New York City. That meeting took place to propose the idea of ​​the PR to C to help increase both Shallow’s music sales and his image. Camila was uncertain. 2017 had been a great year for her as a first time as a solo artist, and she knew that she would’ve to play her cards even better during 2018; plus, the PR with Matryoshka hadn’t even officially started and had already been postponed for a few months because the release of her album ‘Camila’ had been postponed.
Andrew explained to her that the PR with Chauffeur wasn’t going to be done right away at all, also because as C would have her PR relationship with EatchEW, Shanty would have that kind of PR relationship/not relationship with Hailey Baldwin (now Bieber) that only served to make people speculate and maintain the idea that Shazam wasn’t gay. Andrew also explained to her that their future PR relationship would benefit both of their careers because there would be a collaboration, a number 1 hit, which they would look for and use as a launchpad for the narrative. #friendswhothenfallinlove #RomeoandJulietbullshit
This perfect duet, went first to knock on Camila’s door, and then to Shuttle’s one in April 2018 in the form of Andrew Watt who already knew everything about the charade. Watt (he also worked on Havana and 7 songs for Romance including Señorita) co-wrote the song in April 2018, shortly before contacting Shitto, along with Jack Patterson, Ali Tamposi (she also worked on Havana, Consequences, and 6 songs for Romance including Señorita), and Charli XCX. [The same Charli who did an interview on October 21, 2019, in which she gave the true version of the story without even remotely mentioning Scab: “This Latin Pop flare just wasn’t right for who I am because I am not a part of that culture, I’m not from there. Whereas Camila has that in her blood, so when we wrote the song we thought about her and sent it to her.”]
Now that they had found the perfect song, and with the addition of Benny Blanco and Cashmere Cat in the production, all they had to do was convince Camila and her team. Charli XCX and C were the opening acts for Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour from May 8 to October 6, 2018, during which Charli tried to persuade her to do the song by explaining how perfect it was for her. And who knows, maybe even since then they started working on it together since Camila, as she used to do, rewrote almost completely the lyrics to make it more her own. Ask that also to ‘Care About Me’ who turned into ‘The Boy’.
On August 4, still during the Reputation Tour, Shampoo went to the concert date in Toronto, and Taylor posted an Insta-story in which she put make-up and glitter on Shank’s eyelids. Sweaty regretted giving Taylor permission to post the video because people have always thought he was gay for years, and on November 26, 2018, the RollingStone interview was released in which he admitted that he felt the need to be photographed and seen with a girl to prove he isn’t gay. This was a great leverage they used with Camila since she could understand and help a friend in need. The work of persuasion lasted for about 9/10 months, from January 27, 2018, to the end of November/beginning of December 2018. Indeed, on December 5, 2018, both posted a picture taken on the 4th in the backstage of KISS 108’s Jingle Ball 2018 in Boston. Thanks to those pictures and C’s comment, word of their possible future collaboration began to spread. The plan was by then in place.
P.S. remember what happens to Romeo and Juliet, don’t you? Yeah. They die. And like Romeo and Juliet, they’re gonna (metaphorically speaking, of course) die too. Be patient, my babies, be patient.
🎉the🎊end🍾
I want comments now, guys. Which of these competitors you can’t stand the most and why, I’m curious. Put this 🐙 for Tissue, this 🐽 for Matte, and this 🐔 for Shrunken accompanied by the motivation. Let’s have some fun. 🥂
🖕🏼 this is mine for all of them, by the way.
As always, thanks, Mari. 🥰 Bye guys, I love you. Always with love, F. ❤️
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ignorancelive · 3 years
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FINALLY DOING ALL MY TAG GAMES AAAA  IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO DO THESE
@whitedeadflower​ |  pick my favourite albums for bill clinton to enjoy
not necessarily my favorites but i always pick the same 5 albums for these so i just put 4 albums i like a lot and have been listening to more recently <3
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@opossuwu​ | 15 questions
1. What is the first song you remember hearing?
english songs: either learn to fly by foo fighters or human by the killers, i really cannot remember which one but it was around the same time im pretty sure
spanish songs: ALL the songs on/by rebelde, my sister was super into it when i was a baby so i heard so many of their songs right as i was learning to become a human
2. What is the first band you got into?
mmmmmmm probably one direction? if we’re not counting rebelde lol
3. Do you collect music on any physical format?
i collect almost all cds i know and like on CD and have recently started buying vinyl but i think im only going to get albums i really like on it since its more expensive
4. What is your favourite piece of music-related memorabilia/merchandise?
SO many things. i really like my nirvana and red hot chili peppers shirts because they make me feel cute! im also IN LOVE with the in utero angel sticker i bought on redbubble that has a transparent border so its JUST the angel, i stuck it on my record player and i love it so so much
5. What is your favourite concert you've been to?
i have not been to a concert yet :/ i went to a little student festival thing my university hosted for us and saw hunny + hayley kiyoko which was pretty neat
6. If you could see one artist (or band) who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be?
nirvana :(
7. Have you met any musicians?
i went to a cd signing for little mix when i was like 12-13 ish but thats the closest ive gotten lol
8. What is your go-to song/album when feeling sad?
i actually have a playlist of comfort songs to listen to when im sad, but i think the song i most consistently go to is encore by red hot chili peppers
9. What is your go-to song/album when feeling happy?
this one depends. probably hump de bump also by rhcp cause it SLAPS and always puts me in a better mood than when i started
10. What is one music-related documentary you love?
EYE only watched a few minutes of funky monks but im sure if i sat down to watch it now id love it. this is the worst question to ask me because i watch a ton of interviews on youtube so i cant even remember which ones were legit docus as opposed to just youtube vids so this question is gonna be basically unanswered. i do want to watch bob and the monster though
11. What is one concert DVD that you love?
i listen to it more as an album on spotify than watch it but Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged is so good
12. Do you prefer listening to playlists or full albums?
usually playlists! but occasionally ill play the albums i have on my player
13. Do you tend to listen to albums in order or on shuffle?
in order, shuffling them is rare
14. What is your favourite deep cut song by your favourite artist?
favorite artist is rhcp and honestly im? not fully sure. quixoticelixer slaps. and i like almost every song on im with you. but i think im gonna have to go with storm in a teacup cause i checked its streams and its not that popular </3
15. What is your favorite CD/vinyl/cassette that you own in terms of packaging?
THIS ONES SO HARD I LOVE PACKAGING DESIGNS. i love how rhcp’s im with you disc looks like because it has the track list on it but it doesnt look bad like other discs who do that do. booklet design i love vices and virtues by panic at the disco and american idiot by green day. idk what this would fall under but i also love how stadium arcadium’s booklet is held in the case and how when you take it out you see a picture of the band. and there are too many albums whose art i love so i cannot elaborate on that without making this 5xs longer lmao
@garbanz0​ & @dailywilliams​​ | top 5 songs ive had on repeat recently
according to spotify’s on repeat playlist:
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but also according to my last.fm:
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so basically red hot chili peppers own my ass
@badhe4d​ , @garbanz0​ , & @catts-world​ | 10 songs you like, each by a different artist
uhhhhhhhhhhh
1. Monarchy of Roses - RHCP 
2. Back and Forth - Foo Fighters
3. Heart of Glass - Blondie
4. Omission - John Frusciante and Josh Klinghoffer
5. Dance with Me - Sir, Please
6. Henrietta - The Fratellis
7. Breed - Nirvana
8. Mary - The Happy Fits
9. Girls and Boys - Blur
10. It’s All So Incredibly Loud - Glass Animals
@psychoticbreak​ |  suppose you’re being sent to a deserted island for the rest of your life, and you can only choose 10 records to bring with you and those are the only albums you can listen to for the remainder of your life; what albums are they
oh GOD ok
1. in utero - nirvana
2. stadium arcadium - RHCP
3. nothing personal - all time low
4. red - taylor swift
5. after laughter - paramore
6. wasting light - foo fighters
7. im with you + im beside you if you count them as the same album - RHCP
8. so wrong its right - all time low
9. american idiot - green day
10. inside of emptiness - john frusciante
@mark-hoppuss​ |  shuffle my playlist and list the first ten songs that come up
1. New Invention - I Don’t Know How But They Found Me
2. Thanks to You - All Time Low
3. Por Que Me Haces Llorar? - Juan Gabriel 
4. Torture Me - Red Hot Chili Peppers
5. Speak Now - Taylor Swift
6. Prayer of the Refugee - Rise Against
7. Going Away to College - blink-182
8. Time-Bomb - All Time Low
9. DNA. - Kendrick Lamar
10. Heaven is a Place on Earth - Belinda Carlisle
@frafru1​ , @whitedeadflower​ , & @psychoticbreak​ | make a playlist with the letters of my name
Lithium by Nirvana
Universally Speaking by RHCP
Pool by Paramore
Eye Opener by Dot Hacker
@badhe4d​ |  post my lock screen, the last song I listened to and the last picture I saved on my phone
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friends name blocked out but. an interesting screenshot. yes i have flea’s tweet notifs on and use twitter for absolutely nothing else. yes i have email notifs on 
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if screenshots count:
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if they DONT count and you mean purely just saving:
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my icon and boyfriend <3
@badhe4d​ | 7 questions to get to know me better
three ships: not romantically because i dont believe in shipping irl people but i love everyone in rhcp’s gay polycule energy. specifically john and anthony in the 80s. romantically tho mickey and ian in shameless. i dont think i have a third one? me and my bisexual mutuals <3
last song: i shuffled a ton of songs and skipped for some of these tags but before those i was listening to the album weird kids by we are the in crowd as a tbt, specifically the song manners
last movie: inside by bo burnham but if you dont count that, hereditary 
currently watching: it is very difficult for me to watch shows so im currently just watching youtube lol
currently reading: nothing. i cannot read :( bc of attention issues not bc im illiterate
currently consuming: banana bread :3
currently craving: RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS RELEASE YOUR FUCKING ALBUM CHALLENGE
@the-replacemints​​ |  top 10 favorite debut albums
NOT in order. also it took way too long to come up with this list lol
1. Concentrate - The Happy Fits
2. So Wrong It’s Right - All Time Low
3. SOUR - Olivia Rodrigo
4. Strange Desire - Bleachers
5. RAZZMATAZZ - I Dont Know How But They Found Me
6. Hot Fuss - The Killers
7. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
8. Bleach - Nirvana
9. Costello Music - The Fratellis
10. WALK THE MOON - Walk The Moon
because theres so many of these im not gonna tag people for each individual prompt but if you tagged me in one of these i tag you in whichever ones you wanna do <3
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gayenerd · 3 years
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I just realized I didn’t post that 2007 Rolling Stone article I posted about here. 
Billie Joe Armstrong
The Green Day leader talks Bush, Britney and being a middle-aged punk for our 40th anniversary.
DAVID FRICKE
Posted Nov 01, 2007 8:19 AM
You have two young sons. What kind of America will they inherit?
This war has to finish before something new blossoms. There's no draft — that's why none of the kids give a shit. They'd rather watch videos on YouTube. It's hard to tell what's next — there is so much information out there with no power to it. Everything is in transition, including our government. Next year, it's someone else in the White House. There's no way to define anything. It's Generation Zero. But you gotta start at zero to get to something.
Is there anyone now running for president who gives you hope for the future?
Barack Obama, but it's a bit early to tell if this is the guy I like. I get sick of the religious-figure thing. People don't question their rulers, these political figures, just as they don't question their ministers and priests. They're not going to question George Bush, especially if he goes around talking about God — "I'm going to let God decide this for me. He's going to give me the answer." The fear of God keeps people silent.
When did you first vote in a presidential election?
In 1992. I was twenty. I voted for Clinton.
Did you feel like you made a difference?
Yeah. The Eighties sucked. There was so much bullshit that went along with that decade. I felt like Clinton was a fresh face with fresh ideas. There were times when he was dropping bombs, and I'm thinking, "What the fuck are you doing?" But he became a target. We have this puritanical vision of what a leader is supposed to be, and that's what makes us the biggest hypocrites in the world. We got so inside this guy's sexual habits. Now we have a president going around, killing in the name of what? In the name of nothing.
What did you accomplish with your 2004 anti-Bush album, "American Idiot"? He was re-elected anyway, and the war in Iraq is still going on.
I found a voice. There may have been people disenfranchised by it. People have a hard time with that kind of writing: "Why are you preaching to me?" It does sound preachy, a bit. I'm a musician, and I want to say positive things. If it's about self-indulgent depression or overthrowing the government, it's gotta come from my heart. And when you say "Fuck George W. Bush" in a packed arena in Texas, that's an accomplishment, because you're saying it to the unconverted.
Do you think selling nearly 6 million copies of that album might have an effect on the 2008 election? A kid who bought it at fifteen will be voting age next year.
I hope so. I made it to give people a reason to think for themselves. It was supposed to be a catalyst. Maybe that's one reason why it's difficult for me to write about politics now. A lot of things on that record are still relevant. It's like we have this monarchy in politics — the passing of the baton between the Clintons and the Bushes. That's frightening. What needs to happen is a complete change, a person coming from the outside with a new perspective on all the fucked-up problems we have.
How would you describe the state of pop culture?
People want blood. They want to see other people thrown to the lions. Do audiences want rock stars? I can't tell. You have information coming at you from so many areas — YouTube, the Internet, tabloids. Watching Britney Spears the other night [on the MTV Video Music Awards] was like watching a public execution. How could the people at MTV, the people around her, not know this girl was fucked up? People came in expecting a train wreck, and they got more than they bargained for.
She was a willing conspirator. She didn't say no.
She is a manufactured child. She has come up through this Disney perspective, thinking that all life is about is to be the most ridiculous star you could be. But it's also about what we look at as entertainment — watching somebody go through that.
How do you decide what your children can see on TV or the Internet? As a dad, even a punk-rock dad, that can make you conservative in your choices.
I want to protect them from garbage. It's not necessarily the sex and drugs. It's bad drugs and bad sex, the violence you see on television and in the news. I want to protect them from being desensitized. I want them to realize this is real life, not a video game.
The main thing I want them to have is a good education, because that's something I never had. Get smart. Educate yourself as much as you can, and get as much out of it, even if the teacher is an asshole.
Do you regret dropping out of high school?
Life in high school sucks. I bucked the system. I also got lucky. My wife has a degree in sociology, and there are conversations she has — I don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about. College — I could have learned from that.
But I was the last of six kids. At that point, my mother was fifty-eight, and she threw up her hands — "I'm through with this parenting thing." Also, I could not handle authority figures. But I wouldn't say I'm an authority figure for my kids. I provide guidelines, not rules.
What is it like being a middle-aged punk? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?
It's about the energy you bring with you, the pulse inside your head. I want to get older. I don't want to be twenty-one again. Screw that. My twenties were a difficult time — where my band was at, getting married, having a child. I remember walking out of a gig in Chicago, past these screaming kids. There were these punks, real ones, sitting outside our tour bus. One girl had a forty-ouncer, and she goes, "Billie Joe, come drink with us." I said, "I can't, I've got my family on the bus." She goes, "Well, fuck you then." I get on the bus, and my wife says, "Did that bitch just tell you to fuck off? I'm gonna kick her ass right now." I'm holding her back, while my child is naked, jumping on the couch: "Hi, Daddy!" That was my whole life right there — screaming kids, punks telling me to fuck off, my wife getting pissed, my naked son waiting to get into his pajamas.
There's nothing wrong with being twenty-one. It's the lessons you learn. At thirty, you think, "Why did I worry so much about this shit?" When I hit forty, I'll say the same thing: "Why did I worry about this shit in my thirties?"
What have you learned about yourself?
There is more to life than trying to find your way through self-destruction or throwing yourself into the fire all the time. Nihilism in punk rock can be a cliché. I need to give myself more room to breathe, to allow my thoughts to catch up with the rest of me.
Before Dookie, I wasn't married and I didn't have kids. I had a guitar, a bag of clothes and a four-track recorder. There are ways you don't want to change. You don't want to lose your spark. But I need silence more than I did before. I need to get away from the static and noise, whereas before, I thrived on it.
Are you ready for the end of the music business? The technology and its effect on sales have changed dramatically since Green Days' debut EP — on vinyl — in 1989.
Technology now and the way people put out records — everything comes at you so fast, you don't know what you're investigating. You can't identify with it — at least I can't. With American Idiot, we made a conscious effort to give people an experience they could remember for the rest of their lives. It wasn't just the content. It was the artwork, the three acts — the way you could read it all like someone's story.
Is music simply not important to young people now the way it was to you as a kid?
People get addicted to garbage they don't need. At shows, they gotta talk on their phones to their friend who's in the next aisle. I was watching this documentary on Jeff Tweedy of Wilco [Sunken Treasure]. He was playing acoustic, and he ends up screaming at the audience: "Your fucking conversation can wait. I'm up here singing a song — get involved." He wasn't being an asshole. He was like, "Leave your bullshit behind. Let's celebrate what's happening now."
We need music, and we need it good. I took it very seriously. There's a side of me where music will always send chills up my spine, make me cry, make me want to get up and do Pete Townshend windmills. In a lot of ways, I was in a minority when I was young. There are people who go, "Oh, that's a snappy tune." I listen to it and go, "That's the greatest fucking song ever. That is the song I want played at my funeral."
Now that you've brought it up, what song do you want played at your funeral?
It keeps changing. "Life on Mars?" by David Bowie. "In My Life," by the Beatles. "Love," by John Lennon.
Those are all reflective ballads, not punk.
I disagree. They are all honest in their reflection. The punk bands I liked were the ones who didn't fall into clichés — the Clash, the Ramones. The Ramones wrote beautiful love songs. They also invented punk rock. I'd have to add "Blitzkrieg Bop" to the list.
What is the future of punk rock? Will it still be a voice of rebellion in twenty years?
It's categorized in so many different ways. You've got the MySpace punks. But there is always the subculture of it — the rats in the walls, pounding the pavement and booking their own live shows. It comes down to the people who are willing to do something different from everybody else.
You are in a different, platinum-album world now. What makes you so sure that spirit survives?
I'm going on faith — because I was there. Gilman Street [the Berkeley, California, club where Green Day played early shows] is still around. And that's a hard task, because there is no bar — it's a nonprofit cooperative. It's like a commune — this feeling of bucking the system together, surviving and thriving on art. Punk, as an underground, pushes for the generation gap. As soon as you're twenty-five years old, there's a group of sixteen-year-olds coming to kick your ass. And you have to pass the torch on. It's a trip to have seen it happen so many times. It gives me goose bumps — punk is something that survives on its own.
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badfauxmance · 3 years
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This Instagram Mess Right Now... (Part 2)
Yep... we got a LOT from you guys.
Anon 1: I have an instinct that this contract is about to end. That comment was literally dodging the final bullet before the ultimate break up. I feel like they know pr walks & fans sight seeing don’t work. So it comes down to this. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN TENETENET
I mean... while we didn’t expect a comment per se, we pretty much knew something more was going to happen. One big clue was that she finally admitted via the location on her IG that she’s in the US like we knew she was for literally the past month now. So yeah... not a surprise SOMETHING was going to come up. She needs more attention she clearly wasn’t getting enough of.
Anon 2:  Omg this absolutely falls in line with the theory of whenever he shows another woman attention publicly she immediately has to have a follow up. He posts about his friend and she responds with a throwback pic, boom CB jumps into the mix. The only difference is, she didn’t have any other archived B&W photos for him to like so she brought the mess to his page to lay claim on him. Y’all exposed her methods and we are seeing it in real time.
Glad to be of service! But on a more serious note, it’s just amazing how many of you guys in the Inbox aren’t freaking out about any of this. If anything you guys are more like “what is this bullshit again...” and “could you BE more obvious?” The other thing also is that it’s honestly great not feeling like Gemini and I are alone thinking there’s just some fishy stuff going on when we have so many of you out there following us! We ALL just need to hang on and we can make it together!
Anon 3:  Ngl this kinda makes me wish i had social media. I really want to see the comments.
Ha. I mean you COULD make a dummy account for the sole purpose of accessing stuff to see. But at times it’s honestly not worth the headache. Once it’s become clear this bullshit is finally over I’m not following this chick anymore. I mean me following her in the first place is so I and Gemini can more easily keep up with what attention grabbing nonsense she’s doing this time. Also it’s easier to see and notice when she like or comment on things because the quirky thing about the phone app is that you see accounts you follow easily and more noticeably at the top of the feed. It seems like possibly she’s targeting people who are following her including us Seb fans who are mostly hate following or “spying” on her SM activities.
Anon 4:  You could kinda tell this was a spur of the moment decision on her end. Because if Sebastian had known she was going to do it he would've limited his comments to prep for it. Bad move for Ale though. She should've thought this through.
Like I just wrote on the previous Answer, I’m starting to wonder if this is her being aware that the main people paying attention to her is HIS fans and she’s aiming some of this at us as a collective to make her a 15 minute hot topic before we get bored after about 6 hours and ignore her until her next act of desperation for relevancy.
Anon 5:  She could have played this his way and comment "Eres mi rockero más hermoso" but she had to go to the generic-ass route and say "My rockstar", and she didn't even put a heart emoji! Such a missed opportunity, Alejandra. Jokes aside, don't forget the MTV Movie Awards are today, so if he wins he's gonna get a lot of traffic on his instagram, so this is a win-win situation for them
Yeah I can’t deny there’s a possibility THIS is her attention grabbing stunt because of the MTV awards. I mean there are so many convenient reasons for her to do this.
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minjoonie-song · 3 years
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0:00 “Hello! Welcome to Minjoon’s Kitchen.” “Who’s fucking kitchen?” Brandon’s voice off camera startled a laugh out of Minjoon, loud and squeaky; and that was it for the theme of the live. “Welcome to uh... Welcome to Minjoon in a kitchen.” “Welcome to not Minjoon’s Kitchen.” Brandon added, finally coming into view. “Welcome not Minjoon to Minjoon’s Kitchen, not in Minjoon’s kitchen.” “Featuring Minjoon.” “Welcome to Brandon’s kitchen!” “Welcome to Brandon is trying to get his car home because she’s parked in fucking central LA after we went for brunch and had so many mimosas that I legally wasn’t allowed to drive us home.” “Hi MTV. Welcome to Brandon’s crib.” “Look mom! I‘m on MTV and I didn’t have to be 16 and pregnant to do it!” The pair started cackling again, uncontrollably hysterical in their inebriated states. 8:14
“You should make that a thing.” ”What?” ”Not Minjoon’s Kitchen. Once a month you just show up at a random fans house, streaming and giving them no time to prepare for you to cook whatever they have in their house.” ”Absolutely not. You know I like to be organised when cooking.” ”You’re literally squinting at lettuce in the fridge, I think you’re past that.” ”That’s lettuce?” “Oh my god, Minjoon. You can’t cook like this.” “I can’t see properly. I don’t know where my glasses are.” “This is going to be the most disappointing episode of your show ever and it’s live. We can’t cook, it’s gonna be dangerous and messy.” “In the words of the awesome Jake Peralta. Title of your sex tape.” “Oh my god. No, mine would be called uhh.. Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.” “Nope. I already claimed that for mine.” “Joonie! I hate the accuracy.” The laughing continued, even as the pair complained that they couldn’t breathe.
18:58
After they’d finally calmed down they took the camera with them to the couch, after the executive decision that the pair were definitely in no state to try to actually cook anything and a too large order of pizza. “We have like half an hour to kill. What are we going to do now?” “Remember when I asked for a Q&A way back in the past when I thought I’d be sober at four in the afternoon? We’ll do that and then I guess I’m writing a formal apology on my notes app to anyone who was hungry and eager to learn. Just like a real celebrity.” Minjoon fished around in his pockets for his phone, handing it to Brandon once it was unlocked so he could read it aloud. “I just figured out the greeting. Welcome to the last ever episode of Minjoon’s Kitchen.” “My biggest mistake this time was too much Minjoon and not enough kitchen. Some people come just to see my organised spice rack.” “You’ve both upgraded and downgraded to Brandon’s Couch.” “Love it. I’ve re-branded. Put it on a T-shirt. Every episode I’m just going to show you how to order different pizzas. We’re a podcast now.” “You’re a dumbass. Alright! Let’s see what we got. Minjoon.. What is your favorite thing to cook?”  “Everyone I see with how hot I am.” The laughter started up once more, even despite their previous attempts to calm down. “I fucking told you! I knew you’d get that one.” “You owe me $50 for saying it!” “I’ll buy all the pizza you just ordered, how about that?” “Catch me outside?” “Stop! How have you made it this far in life as a meme?” “I wasn’t always like this, it’s part of my rebrand. Brandon’s Couch: Meme edition.” “I can’t believe we failed cooking and now we’re already failing the Q&A.” “No! No, I got this. My favourite thing at the moment.. I love making risotto. Mostly because I get to eat it afterwards and I love eating risotto but yeah! That’s my favourite right now.” “I don’t think that’s really answering.” “It’s my answer. This is still not Minjoon’s Kitchen featuring Minjoon for this last episode. Shh. Next question!” “This one asks if there is anything in particular that gets me inspired for designs? Yes! I love art so as soon as my bank account hits below a mil, I’m like.. Shit! Gotta doodle. No, I find inspiration everywhere. Sometimes it’s just a particular mood I’m in, sometimes I’ll see a net curtain blowing a particular way in a breeze and design an entire dress from how it falls. Sometimes I’ll see a colour that I’ll want to make an entire wardrobe out of. I’ve been painting a lot recently, not designs just.. things I like and I’ve been able to work from those. Gross, I know but yeah. Inspiration is everywhere. Disgusting. Unacceptable. I refuse to be inspired again that was too mushy.”
23:37
The boys were a giggly mess. Almost everything bringing them to hysterics even if it was just something said with the smallest hint of sarcasm, they were grabbing onto the couch and each other’s arms for support as they hiccuped their way through another bout of laughter. “Anyway! Next question is top 5 celebrity chefs. Mine of course is Joonbug and that’s it. Wait, no that dude from that thing we saw in England. Gordon’s friend.” “Oh! With the road trip?” “Yeah, the really funny one.” “I loved that. Mine is obviously Chef Ramsay, Remy.. Gotta give my boy a shout out. Chef Baek Jong-won. Oh! The um.. I discovered that dude during fashion week in London that time. The sciencey one. Hus.. Hes..? I don’t remember his actual name but he made some amazing things. I was in awe. I’m also throwing in whoever invented bulgogi. That’s my top five. I actually met Chef Ramsay recently!” “You did! You called me after. How was it meeting your hero?” “Oh, I cried. Like a big baby. Ugly sobbing and lots of I love yous in the middle of a cupcake shop.” “Classic Minjoon behaviour.” “He signed my T-shirt and I cried some more. I would have proposed through my tears but I was crying too much. Like the shaky inhale, full on breakdown kind of crying? I can’t even be embarrassed because he still talked to me.” “You’re a baby!” “I am a baby! 달콤한 아기. That’s what my eomma and momma call me and then they pinch my cheekies.” “Cute! Ooh! How does it feel.. no, fuck. That’s not.. shut your face. I can read. How does performing feel on stage versus cooking on camera? How did it feel being on stage?” “I refuse to acknowledge what that means. Stage? What stage?” “They’re talking about your big, gay musical re-enactment of your love for me.” “I wish I could use memes like in real life? Just the I do not see meme but my face. Honestly though? It’s different because I can cook. This mess obviously doesn’t count but I can edit everything I post and I know what I’m doing? I’m confident when I’m cooking. I know what I can and can’t do. Being on stage was just.. I was terrified. It was terrifying. I had fun though and I did work hard. Like.. I decided last minute and I had to learn choreo and remember lyrics to things I wrote years ago. I was scared I’d trip up and face plant the whole time. Like the entire time. I wanted to be included though and I couldn’t go to the festival because it was terrifying being around so many people. I just kind of listened from the side lines but it sounded good and you said you had lots of fun being up there.” “I did. You know me though. I’m that one line from that Mike Posner song about needing everyone’s eyes just to feel seen.” “Woah. Hashtag deep.” “Oh my god. You’re ridiculous.” “I did need the entire weekend to recover though. It’s.. it’s a lot to open yourself up like that.” “You mean serenading the town with love songs about me?” “You suck so bad.” “Is that how you talk to the former love of your life?” Minjoon snorted, slapping at Brandon’s arm. “You were so in love with me. It’s my greatest achievement, you know? I put it on my resume under my skills. Has given Minjoon boners.” The reaction was instant, Brandon’s loud laugh failing to cover Joonie’s shriek that soon turned into a laugh but even his amusement couldn’t mask how red he’d gotten. “No! I hate it here! You suck so bad! So bad! I can never show my face in public or make eye contact with another human being ever again!” “It’s a good job I put the age restriction thingy on this stream. I knew I’d be a fucking menace after the second drink.” “You’re not a menace! You’re a gremlin! God, end the stream before you really do end my YouTube career. Goodbye everyone! I’m gonna go eat my body weight in pizza and become a cave hermit.” “Bye little Joonie fans! Sorry about the.. Fuck it, I’m not sorry about anything. Peace out, bitches!”
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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years
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Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Nine
A/N: soooooo, last minute I decided to torture you guys:) I made the chapter into 2 parts, next part will be posted tomorrow night. I'm prepared to be cussed out in the comments 😤 love y'all tho
Also, I'm saving the picture for the next part because *cough cough* so I'm sorry if this appears a little naked.
Words: 2.6k
Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of drug abuse
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S e p t e m b e r 1 9 8 7
“Where are you--”
I’m shut up with the sound of Nikki slamming the door before I can finish asking him where he’s going, and I let out a heavy breath.
"--Going." I finish my question with a heavy sigh.
We’ve only been off the road for a couple days and tomorrow is our last day home, so we decided it’d just be easier for us to stay at the house instead of one of us sleeping elsewhere, but he’s been staying somewhere else every night we’ve been home...I don’t want to know who he’s been staying with or what they’ve been doing, so I haven’t bothered to ask.
I glance at the clock, seeing it’s 5:47pm, and go ahead and assume that since he’s been leaving the house around this time every day and hasn’t been coming back until the next morning, that he’s not coming home again until tomorrow.
Which means I’m by myself, being that Karen is on a small vacation ever since we’ve been home and she hasn’t been having to watch our house.
“Great.” I sarcastically mumble to myself, deciding to start on dinner, Whisky staying under my feet. "If Daddy isn't careful, I'm going to choke him with his own hair." I say to him and he looks up at me with a wagging tail and big smile. "Glad we can agree."
I get one pan out of the cabinet before I’m putting it on the counter, and sighing out.
“You know what? I don’t want to cook.” I state, putting the pan back, shutting the cabinet door, and stepping to the phone, dialing a number.
It rings a couple times before the line is picked up, and I smile at the voice on the other end.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Stevie, it’s Viv.” I tell him.
“Hey, babe, what's going on?" He asks me.
"I'm looking for Duff, do you know where he is?" 
"He's in the shower." He replies. "You want me to tell him you're on the line?"
"No, it's okay, just tell him to gimme a call ba--"
"--Duff, it's Viv!" I hear Steven scream and I cringe, pulling the phone away from my ear a little. 
I hear Duff's muffled reply, opening my mouth to tell Steven that I'll call back later, but I'm being cut off again. 
"I said, 'Viv's on the line'!" Steven yells again, hearing Duff respond. "He's coming." Steven assures me.
"Stevie, you could've waited until he was out of the shower." I comment. 
"Trust me, Viv, he would want me to interrupt him if it's for you." He states. "Ok, he's here, I love you, bye."
"Love you, bye." I reply. 
"Hey." Duff takes over.
"Hey, I'm sorry I interrupted your bathing, I tried telling Stevie you could just call me back later." 
"No, no, Viv, you're fine." He assures me. 
"Oh."
"What's up?" He asks and I look around my kitchen.
"Um...I was just wondering if you're free tonight?"
The line is quiet for a second and I raise my brows, rubbing my lips together, waiting for him to say something. 
"...Hello?" 
"Oh, yeah, s-sorry, you wanna do something or something or--I mean, like you wanna hangout? B-Because I'm free, ya know. Yeah." He stutters out awkwardly and I hold back a laugh. 
"Smooth." I hear Steven comment in the background. 
"Dude, shh!" Duff replies in a whisper. "Um, anyway, yeah, I'm not busy."
"Okay, I was gonna order take out if that's okay with you?"
"Whatever you want is fine with me." He offers. 
"Okay." I reply. 
There's a long pause and the both of us finally try to talk at the same time:
"Alright, well--"
"Cool, so--"
We stop for a second, the two of us chuckling a little. 
"Sorry, you go." He tells me. 
"I was gonna say, 'I'll see you in a few minutes'." I say. 
"Good deal, I'll see you then." He agrees. 
"Okay."
"Okay."
Again, another awkward silence. 
"...Okay."
"Okay."
The phone is suddenly hanging up, the dial tone in my ear, and I quirk a brow, before putting the phone back on the hook. 
I wasn't sure why things were so freaking awkward with us, nothing had changed, nothing had happened. I hadn't seen him since the Playboy shoot a month and a half prior, so I didn't understand what exactly shifted.
I hear the doorbell ring and Whisky starts barking while I grab the Chinese takeout boxes and some silverware. 
"Whisky, who is it?" I ask him sweetly as I step to the door, opening it to see all six feet, four inches of Duff. 
He's in a CBGB t-shirt and black jeans, a bag of gummy worms and a six pack of Pepsi in hand. 
"Hi." He says, and I step aside and let him in as Whisky immediately starts sniffing at him, starting at his boot, up his leg, and I politely keep him from getting too personal as soon as his nose goes for his crotch. 
"Ohhhkay, Whisky, that's enough." I tell him, nudging him away from Duff as he hands me the Pepsi and candy, crouching down to pet him. 
"No, it's fine. He's just trying to know me." Duff chuckles, he and Whisky bonding the second his fingers move over the back of Whisky's ears, making him melt like butter in Duff's hands.
After a few minutes of me putting our food on plates and him going to wash his hands, we're finally eating in the living room floor, at the coffee table, with the dog eating his food several feet away, despite coming over to try to eat some of ours every now and then. 
"So, like, apparently Nikki's trying to get you guys a spot on the tour." I inform him and he raises his brows. 
"Really?"
"Yeah. Slash and Stevie have been conspiring and shared it with Nikki...and he loves you guys so he and Tommy and Vince and Mick are down for it. He's been pestering Doc and Doc said he'd contact your manager a little later." I add.
"Well, we've got some shows coming up to promote the album but, I mean, I don't see the harm in going on tour with them." He shrugs. "It'd be good exposure." 
"It would."
"I don't know." He shakes his head a little, swallowing another bite of Lo mein, and I furrow my brows. "I just expected more people to buy 'Appetite'. And they would, if we had our video on MTV, and radio actually played us." He vents. "We're just chomping at the bit, ready to run our asses off the second the race starts, and nobody's firing the fucking starting gun."
The radio was afraid to play them, MTV refused to put their video for "Welcome to the Jungle" on air because John Malone (who owned half of the cable-houses that broadcasted MTV) only saw them as a heroin band, and promoting them wouldn't sit right with his strong Republican, conservative,"christian" morale...so he threatened to drop MTV if they played Guns N' Roses.
"I can talk to Doc and see if he can pull any strings. I mean if they'll play Mötley Crüe--"
"--Tom is vouching for us to anyone that will listen." He explains. "Right now it's not something to worry about, but if it's still like this six months from now, we need to panic a little."
"There's no way in hell it's gonna take six months for you guys to pick up traction." I state in disbelief.
"Viv--"
"--If six months from now you guys still aren't on MTV, I'll harass whoever I need to, to make it happen. I'll go to their houses." I promise and he shakes his head, chuckling. 
I was serious, and I ended up delivering on that.
"None of them are worth the trouble. Just a bunch of money-hungry hypocrites hiding behind religion to validate their assbackwards logic." He shrugs. 
"You sound like my dad." I point out and he smiles, taking another bite of food as I sip from my bottle of Pepsi. 
He stares at me for a moment before I'm raising my brows, silently asking him what's up. 
"So, like, how is your dad so cool and your mom is so…" he trails off and I take a breath, shrugging a little. 
"That's how she was raised. I mean, I know that's not an excuse but her mom and dad were both that way on her and my aunt--my aunt obviously cracked under the pressure and just gave up trying to please them back when she was a teenager. My grandparents have been dead for years now but my mom still acts like she's trying to make them happy." I mumble. "Which, according to my dad, she wasn't always like that. She did a small 'wild' thing one time, and got knocked up with me." 
"What?!" He gawks. 
"They got married seven months early to avoid her parents knowing what they had done." I add.
"Dude, imagine losing your virginity and getting pregnant from it." He tries to hold back a laugh. 
"My mom always told me I was planned, and once I was old enough to do the math between my birthday and their anniversary, I put the pieces together and my dad finally told me what happened when I turned sixteen." 
He nods, and licks his lips, awkwardly clearing his throat before saying:
"So...what about your first time?" 
I scoff, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. 
"Um, seventeen, Nikki, their roach-motel apartment." 
"You've only dated one guy?" 
"Yeah." I nod. 
"Wow…" he says it like it's hard to believe. 
"What's that mean?"
"I just expected you to have dated a couple more guys before settling on Nikki." He replies. 
"I didn't settle for Nikki." I tell him, matter of fact. "Being with him was a good idea at the time." I add. 
"Nah, I get it. That's how it was with my first big-boy girlfriend." 
"Yeah?" 
"Yeah."
"What happened to her?"
He takes a second, taking in a heavy breath, but trying to keep things light with his smile. 
"We were, like, kids basically. Like sixteen/seventeen, and I had to go out of town to visit some family, and when I got back she told me she had hooked up with this dude at a party while I was away. And we broke up, and then got back together, and then things were good for another year until the big heroin epidemic hit Seattle." He informs me. "It got its hooks in her and wouldn't let go. I finally just had to break things off because I couldn't watch her kill herself in an overdose like some of my friends had already done, and I left for L.A. shortly after. I know that's selfish but ignorance is bliss. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I were to ever find out she'd died." There's a small gloss to his eyes, like he's holding back a few tears. 
"That's not selfish." I tell him, shaking my head. "Some people aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Some are just there to grow you in some way and if it's not God's will for them to stay around you he gives you the strength to just walk away." I suggest. 
"Is that what's happening with you and Nikki?" He asks next, looking at me. "He's giving you the strength to walk away?" 
"God's ignoring me currently so I wouldn't know." I admit. "He wants me to stay with Nikki, but Nikki won't even say whether or not he truly wants a divorce. He just avoids the conversation. I think he feels like if he ignores it, the issue will resolve itself."
"Well...what do you think? I mean, has anyone asked how you feel about this? Like having to make people think you guys are together and stuff." 
"It doesn't really matter how I--or even Nikki--feels."
"Okay, Vivian, I didn't ask about Nikki, alright?" He politely tells me and I sigh. 
"I'm miserable." I finally get it out. "We pose for pictures in magazines, still, a-and pile on the PDA anytime press is around and it freaking sucks. Because we're arguing more and more lately so it's like as soon as we get inside we're going back to being mean to each other. And I'm over him, like I've accepted the fact that we're more than likely divorcing, I've gotten all of it out of my system, but the waiting and dragging it out for another year is just getting to me." A couple tears topple over my lashes. 
"If you want out then get out, Viv." He says to me. 
"It's not that simple, Duff."
"Yes, it is. You're just waiting for Nikki to tell you he wants to work things out, and using Doc telling you guys to hold off on any decisions until the tour is over, as an excuse." He states, as noninvasive as possible and I hate to hear the truth. "If you wanna stay, stay, if you want to leave him, leave him. You shouldn't have to explain yourself either way. It's your own business but at least be honest with yourself and call it what it is."
"I will when you do." I argue and he looks at me with raised brows. 
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, please, Duff, you act like this when you're sober but then when you're drunk you're telling me you love me." I state. "You're not being honest with yourself, either."
His brows furrow.
"Viv, what the fuck am I suppose to do? Huh? You're married. You've been married."
"Barely." 
"What do you want me to do about it?" He defensively chuckles out. 
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" 
"Nikki's done a lot for me and the band, and I don't want to disrespect you or him so I've kept to myself, alright? So just leave it at that and let's finish eating because I got rehearsal tomorrow." He tries to change the subject. 
"He had an entire mistress, Duff, telling me how you really felt about me wouldn't have--"
"--You wanna know how I really feel about you? Fine. I don't understand how someone so beautiful and insanely kind could fucking exist, but you do. My hands get all weird and sweaty and gross when you're around. I can barely walk at times because my legs feel like jello anytime I'm talking to you. It pisses me off that you're so talented and a fucking genius but all you see is how you aren't good enough because you aren't the 'type' that guys like Nikki usually desire--but I'm telling you now, people stare at you anywhere we go like you're healing lepers or something and it's definitely not because they think you're ugly. I know what my boundaries are and would never purposely do something that would make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry I said that to you when I was shitfaced. I'd much rather have told you when I was sober, but there's never been a point of me telling you because--"
"--Tell me." I cut him short. "You're sober." I point out, shifting to my knees. "So tell me." 
He licks his lips, his breathing picking up slightly as he looks me dead in the eyes. 
"I love you." He tells me. "I love you, Vivian." He repeats it, more confidently. "I have since the day we met."
I nod a little, my eyes getting teary and I'm kissing him before I can talk myself out of it. 
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andreafmn · 3 years
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I’m Not Afraid - Chapter 4
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Word Count: 3,616
Characters: Female Reader Argent Character, Original Male Argent Character, Derek Hale, Allison Argent, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Chris Argent, Jackson Whittemore
Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.
*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Teen Wolf, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and MTV Network. The only thing I own is Argent Reader insert, her immediate family, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ storyline.
Chapter: 4/?
A/N: If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.
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Chapter 4
After the eventful day yesterday, I could say that today was extremely boring. For some unknown reason, Stiles and Jackson had not shown up to school. But, after what happened I would have missed too, but I left my bike here and I needed to get it back. I wasn’t planning on staying longer than needed. Once the day was over and the clock hit three, I sped off to my house. I was still tired from yesterday and all I wanted to do was take a big long nap. My body felt heavy, and my head hurt like hell. 
But once I got home, I knew that I wouldn't be sleeping like I wanted to.
"What are you doing here, Derek?" I asked as I took off my helmet.
"We need to talk."
"No, we don't. There's nothing to talk about."
"(Y/N), please. You have been avoiding me for almost two weeks now. I need to know why." He sounded desperate. 
"And I want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. Guess we won't be getting any answers today." I tried to walk to the door, but he grabbed my arm. "Let. Me. Go."
"Please, just talk to me. Give me a reason." His stare burned a hole in me. "Please."
"Seriously, Derek. Just leave me alone." He finally let me go, my arm feeling cold missing his touch.
"I won't stop until you talk to me and explain."
"Then get comfortable, sour wolf, you'll be waiting a long time." I entered the house and locked the door, finally letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
I changed into comfortable clothing and started cleaning the house. My parents would be here tomorrow, and I wanted to make sure the house was spotless. Truly, I just needed something to take my mind off Derek. Why did he make me feel this way? Yesterday the only thing I was wondering was why HE was there. And I didn't want to think that way. I didn't want to care about him. Not now, not ever.
After I finished cleaning, I found myself with nothing to do, so I ran upstairs and took a shower. I tried to take all the time in the world but there wasn't enough. I got out and went to bed thinking of the events of yesterday.
I was running through the forest and I felt someone chasing me. No matter how fast I ran, the creature ran faster. Before I knew it my body had collided with the floor and towering above me was the thing that had screeched last night. It looked lost, like it needed to find his purpose. His slit eyes stared down onto mine and his sharp teeth expelled a sort of saliva that trickled down to my face. His tail was moving up and down my legs teasing a cut. I wanted to move but I knew if I did it would try to kill me, so I stayed put. I closed my eyes and awaited what would happen but instead of death, a roar sounded. Startled, the creature screeched, and I screamed back.
I woke up screaming and sweating just 5 minutes before my alarm would make a sound. I got out of my bed and went to take a shower to relieve me from the dream I just had. It sounded just like the screech from two nights ago. My body felt cold, and I had goosebumps everywhere. To calm my nerves, I put the water in a hot temperature and let it ease my muscles and relax my body. I would have maybe called Isaac but, after knowing he's somewhat involved with whatever is going on and him being a douchebag the last few days, I didn't even bother looking up his contact. Maybe it was for the best. After the year ended I could cut ties without any remorse.
Once I was done with my shower I changed into comfortable clothes once again and ran down the stairs. For more than an hour I was enjoying a horror movie on TV when I heard the doorknob rattle.
"Mom! Dad!" I ran and jumped on both.
"Hey, munchkin." My dad ruffled my hair and hugged me.
"Hey, darling. How did your week go?" My mom asked. How could I explain to her something I didn't know?
"Pretty uneventful. Just hanging out around the house, organizing my room and stuff. But, enough about me. Come in, settle down, tell me about your week."
"Honey, why don't you go sit down, we need to talk about something." I looked at my mom weirdly and went to the kitchen to sit down.
"What's going on?" I looked at my parents who were fixing up dinner.
"Munchkin, you know how each year we have to move due to my business. Well, this year is gonna be different."
"We're not moving. Dad, you've said that before. How do I know you're not lying again?"
"We took this week kind of on a trial basis. You’re getting older and can handle bigger responsibilities like taking care of yourself and the house by yourself. So, it seems that we can be away for elongated periods of time and you’ll be just fine. And in any case, your uncle is here to take care of you."
"We will be living here in Beacon Hills and any business that needs to be taken care of we will just leave town for a few days. Are you okay with that?" My mother smiled. 
"Okay?! I'm beyond okay!" I jumped up from the stool and hugged my parents. "This is the best news ever!"
"That's great, honey. Now go do something while I start dinner."
When my parents told me the news that we were staying the first person that came to mind was Derek.
I had been avoiding him for such a long time and he did deserve some answers and maybe I could get some from him about what was going on in this freak show of a town. I decided to text him and told him to meet me at his house in the woods. I awaited his answer and rode my bike down the now familiar trail. And just as he had said, there he was, waiting on the front steps of the house.
"Hey, Derek," I said softly. It was hard to swallow my pride after the way I had been acting. 
"Hey, (Y/N). Are you finally ready to talk?" He said in a calm and soothing voice. Absolutely the opposite of what I was expecting. I nodded my head and sat down next to him. "So, why have you been avoiding me? Is it something I did?"
"No. I just had to."
"You had to?"
"Look, all my life I have had to pack everything up and leave behind a whole life. Every time the year ends, I need to forget about one life and start another. I have ignored so many people that have only been nice to me because I don't want to grow attached. Cause when I leave, I know I will never see them again and I'd rather be alone than have to pass through that heartache."
"So, once we started growing close you had to cut ties so you could forget about me." I nodded and he let out a sigh. "I get it. But you could've told me."
"Yeah? How? Hey, I'm gonna start to forget you now so I don't have to later. Wouldn't be too sensitive, would it?"
"No, but I would have understood." He looked at me. His eyes held kindness and understandings, things I didn’t deserve for my actions. "But why are you telling me now?"
"My parents told me that we're not leaving this time. We're here for good."
"So that means you'll stop ignoring me?"
"Yes." He smiled and gave me a hug. I hugged him back. "Now that I have given you answers, I need some in return."
"Like?"
"What the hell happened on Thursday?"
"Oh. That." He paused for a second and groaned, but I motioned him to answer me. "Of course. But what I tell you right now must stay between us, and you must give me your word that no one will know that I was the one who told you. Not Scott or Allison, not even your parents."
"Is it that important?"
"Absolutely. Look what's happening here, it's not normal nor human."
"What are you talking about, Derek?" I chuckled.
"Everything around you are not what it seems. There's just no easy way to say this."
"Derek, ballpark it."
"I'm a werewolf, an alpha. And so is Scott, Isaac, Erica, and Boyd, they're betas. Your family, including Allison, are hunters. They kill people like me and the others. That screech you heard yesterday, it came from a Kanima. A walking snake-like creature that kills people, murderers exactly, after paralyzing them with a type of venom it creates." He looked into my eyes trying to search for something. An answer, a sign, anything. It just wasn't there. "(Y/N), please. Say something."
I tried to speak up, but nothing came out. Maybe it was the shock, maybe I wasn't ready to hear this, maybe I didn't want to know that everyone around me was different. Out of this world, sort to speak.  Everything was changing and I couldn't do anything about it. I saw Stiles' jeep coming closer. Out of it came Scott, Allison, and, obviously, Stiles. I got up from the steps, ignoring their calls and Derek calling my name.
"Where are you going, (Y/N)?"
"Home." I turned on the motorcycle and tried to leave but I couldn't. I was frozen, listening to their conversation.
Derek's POV "What's happening?" Stiles asked.
"She's leaving, dimwit. Don't you have eyes?"
"Why would she leave like that?" Allison questioned and directed her sight to me. "What did you do?"
"Nothing. We were just talking."
"What exactly where you guys talking about?" Scott asked.
"Everything."
"As in." I stared at him and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, everything."
"Derek, why the hell would you do that?! It was not in your place to tell her about that." 
"Oh, like you would have told her anything. Just like you're telling Lydia. She came to me for answers, and I gave them to her."
"That is none of your business."
"I was not going to continue to lie to her. You do whatever the hell you want but I couldn't go on like that."
"Honestly, Derek. What is your problem?! She's nothing to you so I don't understand why you had to bring her into this twisted world." Allison screamed.
"You know why she has to know. I accept that it's not my place, but I knew you wouldn't say anything and, also, I didn't bring her into this. Your bloodline did. Don't pin this on me." Allison starts fuming and closing the gap between us but stops dead in her tracks when she heard the same thing all of us heard. (Y/N) falling off her bike.
"(Y/N)!!" I ran towards her and picked her up.
"Don't touch her!" Allison screamed.
"You can't tell me what to do." I bumped our shoulders and headed towards the house. "But if you wanna help out you can follow me."
Fuming, Allison followed me into the living room with the trail of puppies on her back. She helped me gently lay down (Y/N) on the couch whilst Scott found some gauze and alcohol for a scratch on her face and hopefully what would wake her.
After cleaning the wound, I held a gauze dripping with alcohol under her nose, but nothing happened.
"This is what I wanted to avoid. She seems so strong, but she is so fragile too. I wanted her to find this all out through her parents. Not some stranger she just met." Allison spoke to Scott.
"I think you underestimate the strength she has. And trust me, I am no stranger to her." I spat at her. "At least I was the only one brave enough to give her the answers she was seeking."
"Derek, honestly I could give two shits about what you think right now. It's your fault she fainted. Again, you had no fucking right."
"Look, Allison, I get it. You don't want her in this world because she's better than you. I get it." I smirked at her and she lunged at me. Scott held her back but I wanted the reaction. I was completely fuming, (Y/N) deserved better than lies. 
As she struggled, Stiles’s words brought us back from the fight. 
"Guys, she's waking up."
I directed my gaze again to (Y/N) and noticed her eyes fluttering open. "See, she's fine."
"But she wasn't."
"Well, she is now." I gritted my teeth.
(Y/N)'s POV
"Um, guys, yeah. I'm still here stop talking about me as if I were gone."
"Are you okay? How are you feeling?" Allison asked as if I had hurt myself.
"I'm fine. My body is functioning normally, my legs are moving one after the other, my lips are opening and closing, and my tongue is moving, and my arms are flailing. I'm super."
"Take it easy, (Y/N). You just found out a lot of stuff." Scott said.
"Yeah, you two are werewolves." I pointed at him and at Derek, then at Allison. "And you, along with our family, a hunter." I looked at Stiles. "And you're human, like me."
"And?" Derek asked in a harsh tone as if trying to keep up the mean façade he had. It made me angry, but the worry was evident in his eyes.
"It's fine. It's weird but fine." This time I did get on my motorcycle and started it.
"Whoa, where do you think you're going?" Stiles tried to stop me midway.
"Um, as I said before, home."
"You can't drive in this state, especially in a motorcycle. You could crash!"
"Allison, I have never in my life of driving crashed a motorcycle whereas cars, enough to start a small dealership, and some of them weren't even mine. I think I'm good." As I tried to leave, once again I was stopped. This time by Derek.
"I'll take you home."
"Um, you've done enough. I'll take her home." Allison stepped in. They got in each other's faces and I had to step in between them.
"Mom, dad. Stop. I hate when you fight." I snorted. "Sorry, but I'll take myself home."
Before any of them could answer I got on my motorcycle and sped off the same way I came through. When I got home, I was out of breath and dizzy. Everything Derek had said kept replaying in my mind over and over, like an endless loop of unimaginable words that seemed to be part of a dream. The front door of my house seemed so far, and it felt like almost half an hour had passed until I got there. Everything passed by slowly and blurry.
My father called out to me and it felt like I answered but I had no idea what I said. Maybe something in the lines of I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. I ascended the stairs one step at a time until I reached the top. It felt like climbing the Great Wall of China, but finally, I made it to my bedroom. Once I entered, I got the scare of my life and everything went back to normal. Derek was in my room.
"What the hell are you doing here, Derek?!" I yelled in a soft whisper.
"I wanted to see if you were really okay. You didn't seem good when you left."
"I'm fine," I said in a cold voice and started looking for my pajamas. He wasn't believing me, and neither was I. "Seriously, Derek. I am."
"You don't seem or sound fine. I heard you when you got here, you were out of breath and you took your time to get up the stairs as if it was the biggest climb of your life." It was evident that he was worried about me but there was nothing to worry about. I may still be in a bit of shock. He just needed to chill. Deep down I knew how scared I was. The world had turned into different stop frames. I could see everything pass me by inch by inch. I had time for everything. I could easily have gone to the other side of the planet and back and not more than a minute could have passed.
I went to the bathroom and changed in hopes that he would leave, even though  I didn’t want him to. He didn't. He looked around my book collection which, I may add, is quite big. My father had some people make a built-in bookcase and desk. It was probably my favorite place in the whole house, the kitchen ended second. Derek had taken one of my favorite books in his hand.
"Pride and Prejudice? Hm, never would have pictured you to read this kind of book."
"There's many things you don't know about me, sour wolf."
"Seriously, you're gonna keep calling me that? Even after you know it's true."
"That makes it more fun." I smiled weakly. "So, werewolf, huh?" He nodded. "And my family is filled with hunters." He nodded again. "And they hunt you."
"(Y/N), if this is too much for you, we can leave you out of it."
"It doesn't matter if you leave me out of it, I'll still be involved. I just don't want anything to change."
"I know. Me either." He said looking down. I walked over to him and hugged him needing some type of warmth. His arms engulfed me, and I felt relieved, completely forgetting how mad I was at him for being a dick not a few hours ago.
"It's just for the first time in my life I thought I cloud have a normal life with my family and new friends. I hoped to settle in a normal town where it's so boring, but you fall in love with the people there and never want to leave. I guess I just wanted normal."
"And I just ruined that." He sighed, his chest rising and falling against my head. "I'm sorry."
"Don't blame yourself. My parents would have brought me into that world soon enough. I think that's why they've had me working out and training for no apparent reason. They were hoping I would join the family business."
"Would you?"
"Huh?" I looked up at him.
"If they asked you to become a hunter, would you?"
"If I hadn't met Isaac, or your pack, or Scott... or you, I probably would have. But I can't be a part of something that hunts innocent creatures just because they believe the whole species is bad." He nodded but stayed quiet.
I went over to my bed in hopes he would stay but he made his way to the window. I don't know what came over me, but I called out to him. "Don't go. Stay, please."
Without another word he turned off the lights and sat next on the chair that was in the corner next to my bed. Finally, I drifted off with the possibility of words flowing from his mouth. 
Derek's POV
"I'll never leave you." I whispered to her as she closed her eyes and drifted into sleep. After some time, she started squirming and her heartbeat began to race. I sat next to her, and without waking up, she got closer and snuggled into my chest. I put an arm around her and heard her heartbeat slowly go back to normal. 
At around midnight I heard voices arguing downstairs. I didn't mean to overhear but I couldn't help it.
"You went looking for her again, didn't you, Henry?"
"Of course, I did. I'll look for her until the day I die."
"You know you'll never find her. That was the point. You told her to hide, and she did. So much that not even you can find her. I guess she didn't love you enough." She sighed. "And even if you found her, your father would use all his power to kill her."
"At least I loved her more than I'll ever love you, and that's enough for me."
 After that, a long silence. 
Then, a door slammed shut. 
Moments after I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.I tried my best to move in case they decided to check in with her, but (Y/N)’s grip on me only tightened. I had no escape other than to brace myself for whatever could happen. 
My heart started to race faster and faster as the steps became closer to the room. 
Step.
Step.
Step.
Her mother was right outside her door, probably debating waking her daughter up to wish her a good night. My breath hitched in my throat when the door handle started to softly turn; the gears in my brain turning, looking for the quickest escape. The door handle had turned completely and I prepared myself to run. But, it was let go. The footsteps receded and ended in the room next to (Y/N)’s. Once I heard her settle in bed I finally relaxed. I curled (Y/N) onto me and wrapped her tight. Something in me just wanted to protect her and let her know she’s not alone. I hadn’t felt this way in a long time and for the first time I wanted to see where it could lead.
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Tag list: @hellowinterlane​ @lokisgoddesofpower​ @mersuperwholocked-lowlife​
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galadrieljones · 4 years
Text
As You Were (Chapter 11)
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Fandom: The Last of Us | Pairing: Joel x OC | Content: Fix-it, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Found Family, Joel Lives | Rating: Mature
Masterpost
Summary:
When Joel and Ellie take a wrong turn on their journey from Pittsburgh to Wyoming, they find themselves lost in what feels like a time warp: a beautiful place with a dark and dangerous secret, filled with painful memories and reminders of the past. But they aren’t alone. When they meet Cici and Noah, a mother and son fighting tirelessly for survival on their family farm, things finally start to take a new shape, altering the course of their lives in irrevocable ways. In the end, for those with little hope to spare, family is what you make it.
This is an AU, starting after the events of the Summer chapter in the first game, and extending into the timeline of the second.
*chapter specific cw: mention of suicide, depression
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Chapter 11: Interlude II (The Ark)
That night, they sat up in the crow's nest, on separate bean bags, looking at their hands. Noah had wanted to take inventory of his books to decide which he was going to bring with him on the road, and which he was going to leave behind. But it felt weird now that he was up there, and pointless, and sad. Everything he knew, he would have to leave behind, and he would never see it again. Everything. They would have to board up the house, post signs on the electric fence. CONTAMINATED WATER. DO NOT DRINK. They should probably burn it all down, but his mother would not allow that. It was her childhood home, too. They would seal it up instead as a tomb and maybe in 100 years when the spores died or the mushrooms got burnt out the river by somebody with the means to do so, an enterprising explorer would come to this lonely region, discover their farm and read it like hieroglyphics on the wall, stories from another time. He would look at Noah's stack of books and think, What a discovery. What a thing to behold.
Danielle sat very still, as was her default setting. But she was also picking at her thumbnail, compulsively. She was not wearing her prayer kapp anymore. She still had her hair braided tightly to her head, but she had taken off her kapp. Noah knew some things about Amish by then, and he knew the different types of kapps and bonnets and their meanings. Usually, when she was away from home she would wear a black bonnet over her white kapp, because she was unmarried. But she didn't have the black bonnet today, only the white kapp, and she had only ever removed her head covering in front of him one other time that Noah could remember, and it was when they were thirteen years old and it had been so hot, they ran through the sprinkler and she took off the kapp for just one moment while she fixed her braids.
"What's wrong?" said Noah. He was deciding between The Road and Blood Meridian. He chose The Road, stuffed it in his backpack.
"Nothing," said Danielle. She had followed him up there without him knowing. She was quiet as a mouse. When she appeared, he was surprised, but it was okay. He didn't feel like being alone.
"Why are you biting your nails."
"I was just having a bad thought," she said. "You know. How it's over. Our lives, as we knew them once, they are over. My mom, and your dad. The land we knew and that raised us. All of it, gone, and now we too must be gone."
The way she talked sometimes, with her formal words and slight accent, it was foreign to Noah in a mythical way. "Yeah," said Noah.
She got up then, from the bean bag chair. She looked around. She picked up some of the books to read the summary on the back, then she set them back down again.
"Anything you want, you can have," he said. "Take whatever."
"Like what would I take?"
"Any of my books. I have a lot of comics inside, too."
She found this to be funny for some reason, smiled with her cheeks getting red. "Ha ha."
"What's funny?"
"Where are your guitars?" she said then, out of nowhere, like she was suddenly taken off guard. "I haven't been up here in a while. Where'd they go?"
"I burned them," said Noah, staring at her.
She gave him a long, disappointed look and shook her head. "All of them?"
"Yes."
"You shouldn't have did that, Noah."
Sometimes, he felt legitimately like a crazy person, like an imposter. Perhaps he would have been better off on his own. "I know," he said.
She came and sat down beside him then. He had to move over to give her room. The bean bag chair crinkled beneath them and molded around their bodies. She turned to him. She looked right at him. She framed his face with her palms, touching them to his cheeks. Her hands were cold. "I'm eighteen now," she said.
"I know," said Noah. "I'm sorry I missed your birthday."
"Don't worry," she said. "I just, I have hope that my family and my life will find a new hope, do you?"
"I guess," said Noah.
"I'm going to miss you though," said Danielle. "So much. You can't know. You and your guitars. You gave me a good escape place, all my life, and you and your family were always so important to us."
"I'll miss you, too," he said, shrugging. He felt he had little left to give her. "I'm sorry about everything, Danielle. Everything sucks."
"It does," she continued. "But also, there is one thing that doesn't suck, which is I can make a choice, right now."
"Which choice?" said Noah.
She kissed him. It was simple and warm. She was like a shepherd, guiding him in. When they parted, she looked sad. This was not the first time they had kissed, but it had been a long time. A flood had come between them. It drowned much more than the hills.
"Why did you do that?" he said.
"Because I wanted to," she said. "I'm sorry. I should have asked first."
"It's okay," he said. He tucked one small, loose strand of yellow hair behind her ear. In truth, it had made him happy. For just one moment, it lifted him out of the dirt.
She looked out the window. She folded her hands in her lap demurely. She had freckles on her knuckles and her wrists. She smelled like clean laundry. Being close to her, it made him want more, but it would never happen, nor should it happen, and this he knew, so he put his hands in his pockets and closed his eyes.
"What was that song you played again, that one time?" said Danielle. "Like two years ago, when we were out here, and it was like, almost fall, just like this? I remember it was getting colder, but the frost still had not come. Take me over?”
"Take On Me," said Noah. "It was just some live version off one of my dad's records. MTV Unplugged or something."
"What's MTV Unplugged?"
"I don't know," said Noah. "Something from a million years ago. Joel probably knows. We could go inside and listen to it, if you want. You could ask him."
"Okay," she said, smiling. "Let's do that."
Inside, Cici had gone upstairs, to bed. Joel was sitting on the couch alone, drinking whiskey, and listening to more Ryan Adams on the record player. When Noah and Danielle first came inside, Noah was sort of embarrassed. He didn't know why. But Joel didn't make any sort of fuss about them. He didn't call attention, nor did he ask questions. He said hello to Danielle and told Noah he would get out of his hair.
"It's okay," said Noah. "We were just gonna listen to music anyway."
"What is this?" said Danielle. She had reassembled her kapp, on her head. She was only comfortable removing it around Noah. "This is a sad song."
"It's a song called Sylvia Plath," said Joel. "This album was released the day before my 17th birthday."
"Wow," said Danielle. "It must mean a lot to you."
"Well, I haven't heard it in a while," said Joel. "But hearing it again, now, yes it does bring me back."
"Do you know what MTV Unplugged is?" said Danielle.
Joel looked at Noah, who was looking down at his boots. He had his backpack over one shoulder, looking a little lost, a wanderer. Joel set down his whiskey, listening to the song. He said, "MTV Unplugged was on TV, a lot of years ago. Why you asking?"
"Noah knows a song. He played it once, on his guitar, from MTV Unplugged."
"His guitar?"
"Yes," said Danielle. She became embarrassed then, like she had done something wrong. She looked at Noah and then she looked down at her hands, folded into the front of her dress. Noah was looking off somewhere else, flexing his jaw. Something seemed to be going on, something that Joel wasn't privy to. Didn't matter.
"Well, okay," said Joel, ignoring the tension in the room. "You, uh, familiar with TV, Danielle?"
"Yes," said Danielle. "Noah has told me about it."
"Well, MTV Unplugged was just like, live studio recordings of musicians that were popular at the time. A live studio recording meant like, it was unproduced. Or, I don't know. They just played their instruments in a room, in front of people. No multiple takes, no effects or anything like that. Real stripped down. There were some pretty important recordings, back in those days. Some artists, it was a huge deal for them to get on MTV Unplugged."
"Thanks," said Danielle. "I suppose that makes sense?"
"Maybe," said Joel. “I don’t know what makes sense anymore.”
"You guys are up?" said Ellie. She was yawning, coming down the stairs in her PJs. "What the hell?"
"Don't worry," said Joel. "You didn't miss anything. And I was just about to head up myself."
"What are we listening to?" she said, totally ignoring him. She came into the living room and picked up the vinyl sleeve off the coffee table. "Ryan Adams. Gold. You sure like this guy, don't you, Joel?"
Joel sighed.
"Who's Sylvia Plath?"
"What am I, an encyclopedia?”
"Yes, actually," she said, plopping down on the couch next to him. She picked up his glass, sniffed it, and made a face. "Yuck."
"Sylvia Plath was a poet, right?" said Noah. "Didn't she kill herself?"
"She was a poet, yes," said Joel. "And yes, she did...commit suicide."
"Jesus," said Ellie, sinking into the cushions. She crossed her arms over her chest and closed her eyes. "That's sad."
"Why did she take her own life?" said Danielle.
"I don't know," said Joel, resigned to his cause now, and outnumbered. "I guess she was unhappy. Or something. She had a rough marriage? Major depression. Ryan Adams, he had a lot of depression, too. Maybe he wrote this song to cope with all that."
"Music is a gift," said Danielle. "To think that his means of coping could become a song as beautiful as this. Perhaps it is a curse."
They all sat, staring at the record player. Joel got up and took the needle off the record. "Time for bed," he said.
"Come on," said Ellie. "I just got down here."
"Well, that was a mistake," said Joel. "Everybody, to bed. It's late."
With his sleeping bag unrolled in the living room that night, and the lamps turned down low, Noah listened to the song Sylvia Plath on repeat and thought about his life and all that had taken place, from the moment he realized he was alive, up to now, sitting alone on the floor in his living room in front of the fire, imagining himself in another scenario, far away in time and space, in which things were normal, or better, or safe. He envied Joel, in a way. Noah didn't know a better life, and he never would. That is how he felt, and what was meant by his sadness in the crow's nest. That is how he had been feeling for over a year, since his dad died, and the people he knew were all gone, and there were no more delusions, no more pastoral dreams where he could ignore the dying world in which he was born. He was now grown and he would have to go straight to it, make it his own. And Danielle would be okay, because she was not the same as him. She was bright and free and she trusted in god to carry her home, and whether that was bullshit or not, it didn't matter. People believe in the thing that they think will save them. Noah just didn't know what to believe. He was doing his best to follow his heart.
And she and I would sleep on a boat And swim in the sea without clothes With rain falling fast on the sea While she was swimming away, she'd be winking at me Telling me it would all be okay Out on the horizon and fading away And I'd swim to the boat and I'd laugh
Ellie came back downstairs a couple minutes later, wired and unable to sleep. When he looked out the window, the moon had finally revealed itself from behind the clouds. It was big and white and full. At first Ellie just said hello and then she was walking around the room, looking at all the different things on the shelves and hanging on the walls, like she was in a museum. She was looking at the paintings, most of them unframed. She said, "Did your dad make these? They're all signed with a W. His name was William, right?"
"Yeah," said Noah. "His name was William, and yeah, he painted all those."
"Wow," said Ellie. "He was really good. These are amazing."
The paintings were mostly landscapes and livestock. There were some of Cici, some of Noah, but they were like, impressions. They were blurred into the background, just blinks of color against the green. "What's your last name?" said Noah. "I was just wondering."
"My last name?" said Ellie. She smiled. She said, "Uh, Williams, I guess. Weirdly enough. That's the second time someone's asked me that in the past like, day." She came and sat down on the floor next to him, resting her elbows on her knees. "What's yours?"
"Santos," said Noah.
"Noah Santos," said Ellie. She looked down at her thumbs. She was sticking them both up for some reason, pressing her knuckles together. "So, uh. What's up with you and Danielle, Noah Santos? You guys a thing or something?"
"Not really," said Noah. He looked directly at her. His eyes were kind of dark and big, but they weren't as dark up close as they looked from far away. "Not anymore. We're just friends.” He took a huge, deep breath then, and Ellie could tell there was a lot more but that he just didn't feel like talking about it.
"Well," she said. "Friends are pretty great, too."
"Yeah, they're okay," said Noah.
They both smiled.
"I had a friend once," she said. "A long time ago. Her name was Riley."
”How’d you guys meet?”
”School. Or, jail. Whatever you wanna call it.”
"Where's Riley now?" said Noah.
Ellie looked at the fire, big and bright, like a carousel. "It's a long story. But she's gone."
Noah hung his head and looked down at the woodgrain in the floor. He said, "I'm sorry. I'm a dick."
"It's okay," said Ellie, nodding to herself, trying to be peppy. She didn't want to be sad that night. She wanted to be positive, and alert. Joel and Noah were back. They were heading out soon, on the road again. There was hope. “You're not a dick. And it’s all gonna be okay, don’t you think?”
"I hope so," he said.
Ellie’s optimism was contagious, and perhaps that’s why she felt like home to so many who lie awake in the night, thinking more about the past than the future. She lived close to the edge of her worth, it's true. She wanted to believe that there was a reason, for all of this. That there was a purpose, a meaning, behind why she kept on living while all the other people she cared about died. Riley, Tess, Henry, Sam. But she hid volumes. She did it all to help her friends stay afloat. But it wouldn't last forever. She was only one girl.
When they drove away from the farm, they did not want. The wind shook the trees, which were turning colors in the late September light. Danielle waved at Noah, standing between her father and her brother on the lawn.
It was two trucks to Moline, Joel and Ellie out front, headed for the I-80. "Here goes nothing," said Cici. She was driving, stone-faced. It was done. They had lost this place long before. It belonged to the dead now. She took Noah's hand as they escaped.
***
On the record player:
“Sylvia Plath” by Ryan Adams
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purplesurveys · 4 years
Text
1046
Does it annoy you when people make their default of them kissing someone? I don’t mind kissing photos or icons. But hmm, I can imagine being a little grossed out if it’s an image of them kissing with tongue or if it’s generally a little on the sloppy side.
Are there any names you can think of that just go well together? Well there’s...a lot of names in existence lmao, so there’s a lot of combinations out there that I like for sure. I just don’t rank them and I don’t have a name combination of choice just yet.
Do you enjoy museums? I’m obsessed with museums. In every single one of our family trips, my dad has always made sure to book at least one museum visit for me so I can return back home happy, hahaha. I also visit and revisit museums in my own time, and I’m open to going to any kind of museum whether it’s natural history, art, science, ancestral homes, etc.
Have you ever met anyone famous? One of my coworkers plays the drums for a local band that’s got a bit of a following, so it was definitely a shock when I first saw his name in our work group chat. Someone I used to be close friends with in the local wrestling community is now an actor/influencer and doing a billion gigs and photoshoots all day. We’re still mutuals so every now and then I’d comment on one of his posts and congratulate him on how far he’s come.
Describe the scariest dream you can remember? I never like it when someone I love is shot in my dreams. The scariest dream I had recently is probably the one where I watched three planes drop to the ground all at the same time and explode.
Have you ever been to a mint where they make money? Nopes. I think the BSP had been part of one of Nina’s field trips before, but my batch didn’t get to have the itinerary.
Do you ever get really, really hyper? Occasionally.
Are you left or right handed, or ambidextrous? Right-handed.
If ambidextrous, do you prefer writing with your right or left hand?
What is your favourite subject at school? Any history elective, biology, political science.
Do you ever use Yahoo! Answers? For seriousness or for trolling? I used to read both serious (when I have a legit question) and funny (when I was bored and just wanted to lurk on the site) items on it. These days, when I have a genuine question, Google usually pulls up a Quora link which I find has been more helpful than Yahoo! Answers ever was.
Have you ever stepped on a thumb tack? No, but my brother did when he was a baby and was first learning how to walk.
Do you have a username you use for everything? Or does it change each site? I use my first name + surname for more serious, professional websites. Then I have a go-to for everything else.
Are you in Miami bitch? :D No. Not really interested in going to Florida at all, to be honest.
How did you break the last bone you broke? I’ve never broken a bone.
Have you ever used Nexopia? Never used, never heard of it before.
What has been the best year of school for you so far? Junior year of both high school (2014-15) and college (2018-19) were really great for me. There was a string of good events that happened in both, and I was able to have a lot of fun, gain friends, and have a number of positive learning and growing-up experiences.
Do you have any disorders or disabilities? I’ve always worried that I have BPD, but from the time I started considering it until today I’ve only done self-diagnosis, so idk. There’s definitely a lot more to unpack when it comes to me, mentally and psychologically. 
Do you ever watch How To videos? Not really. How It’s Made videos are fun to watch though.
Do you enjoy trolling? It doesn’t even sound fun.
Have you ever been to an emergency room? If so, what for? Never been.
Which emoticon face do you use most often? Things like: :) :( :D :P :L D: Most of the time I’ll use the open- and closed-mouth smileys. I use the sad face as well, and occasionally I’ll pull out the :3 and :/ emoticons.
Are you a musical sort of person? I mean, are you musically talented? Yeah, not at all. I can’t sing, read music, nor play any instrument.
How did you break the first phone you broke? So my mom hooked my first phone to a lanyard that I was made to wear as it was the surest way I wouldn’t be able to lose it (I was 7, which really should not be an age for kids to receive their first phones lol). One day I was being a little more rambunctious than usual, and while moving around the hook to the lanyard suddenly came off, and the phone crashed to the ground. It messed up the screen a bit and the hook also got a little fucked from there; eventually the phone came off during my 1st grade field trip and I never realized, and I lost the phone.
Did you have a tree house when you were a kid? If so, did you ever fall from it? We did not have a treehouse. My grandpa surely would’ve been the type to make one for his grandkids as he’s great at building stuff and working with wood, but it just wasn’t plausible considering most trees here are crawling with fire ants and other weird and potentially dangerous insects.
Have you ever been on vacation to a snow field? I don’t know what that is but I’ll go ahead and say no as I’ve never seen snow anyway.
When you go on vacation, what mode of transport do you usually use? We take road trips most of the time because my dad likes to drive. But if it’s gonna be on another island in the country, like Palawan or Batanes, then we obviously have to take a plane.
What is the worst show, in your opinion on MTV? The best? I don’t care for any shows on MTV and I typically think most of them look like they suck. The few ones I’ve seen, like Teen Wolf and Scream, certainly didn’t help.
Do you like Jason Derϋlo? Eh, some of his hit songs are catchy but I’m not a fan fan.
Are there any movies that just creep you out so much? Aside from everything about it being creepy, Eraserhead is just so depressing to watch. Midsommar is also a freaky film.
Have you ever had a close encounter with a shark? I don’t think so.
Do you have any hotties on your walls? I have a poster of Nam Joo Hyuk that Angela got me when she went to South Korea, but he’s more cute than hot to me tbh.
Do you ever wish dinosaurs came back to life and there were cute and snuggly? Not really. But it would’ve been interesting to see how they would look like in real life, and know their temperament and things like that.
How many countries have you been to? Aside from having been around my own, 6.
How many states have you been to? In all the countries you’ve been to? We stayed in one city/state for each country I’ve gone to - Bali, Singapore, Johor, Shanghai, Jeju, and Fukuoka.
What is a song you heard long before it became popular and everyone liked it? Idk about songs, but this was me with The Crown lol.
Do you enjoy designing things? Anything? Not my thing at all. This is more of Nina’s specialty. Girl can make anything look pretty.
Do you know anyone who has gotten themselves into a serious accident? Yeah. Off the top of my head, I remember my aunt getting involved in a hit-and-run with a motorcycle and needing to get a number of stitches on her head. My cousin Joelle also got into a bad car accident a few Christmases ago that totally wrecked her vehicle.
Can you play anything on the violin? Nope, I never learned how to play. It’s one of my favorite instruments though.
Do you know what a raincheck at stores is? Never heard of that. I’ve heard some people say “I’m gonna have to take a rain check” whenever they abruptly have to bail on a plan at the last minute, but I think you’re talking of a different raincheck here.
Whose funeral was the last you went to? Nacho’s wake. Never been to a funeral.
Who got married at the last funeral you went to? That’s pretty fucked up.
What do you think of excessively long names? What about their shortenings? I don’t have an opinion on either.
Do you ever get hay fever? No.
Do you know anyone with the last name Pilbeam? Never heard of that surname before.
When you were little, did you have those magnet letters on your fridge? We may have had those? I’m not sure. I haven’t seen the fridge I grew up with for a while now. I do know Athenna had those magnet poetry phases on her family’s fridge and we used to try to make poems with them.
Have you seen the Techno Jeep video on YouTube? I have not, and it doesn’t sound familiar.
Does your house have a wood fire? No.
Do you know what a Pibgorn is? I don’t think so. I can’t recognize the term.
Can you learn the lyrics of a song by ear, or do you have to search them up? It’s 50/50 for me. Sometimes it’ll be easy for me to recognize the lyrics, and other times it’s incredibly difficult.
Do you like the name Amy? It’s a pretty name. I’d consider it as a second or third name.
Have you ever got an x-ray? How about a brain scan? Just an x-ray.
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