#the way I'm just rambling in the tags lmao
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That sounds interesting! I like Jason but how much I like him is inverse to how much writers expect up to find him actions correct. He’s obviously in the wrong and does bad things, I don’t like it when I’m supposed to be rooting for him or feel overly bad for him 😂
Yeah!!! That's pretty much how it goes for me as well 😅
#he's not a poor little meow meow or babygirl to me. nor do i think he's somehow justified for the people he murdered#i think there's reasons behind why he kills that like are understandable but doesn't excuse his actions#and honestly i think he makes a fantastic tragedy in that anger is his fatal flaw and perhaps all the mess could have been averted#but i don't really want to soften him? for the au i want to think about if i engaged with canon jason in all his murderous glory#what would it take for him to actually reform?#and i think that's a useful thought excercise#the way I'm just rambling in the tags lmao#asks
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Your Favourite Author's Favourite Fic
in no way is this me sneakily trying to get fic recs out of people, but here's my new tag game!
Rules! When tagged, reblog with the fic you've written that you love the most
Not the fic with the most kudos, or the most comments, or the most hits, but the fic that you're the most proud of. I'm talking about the story that kept you up at night, the one that you still think about, the one that you wish more people would read
So, it's time to show off! I strongly encourage - in fact, I demand - that you give yourself some compliments, a well-deserved pat on the back, and tell us all the reasons why it's your favourite!
Then tag five people and make them go through it, too 🥰🩷
I'll tag @wolfjackle, @tourettesdog, @gilbirda, @die-erlkonigin6083, and @thewritingowl to get us started, please and thank you!!
#tag game#fic game#fanfic#ao3#fic recs#look. i've had a summer where i've not been able to catch up on anything#so this is my not so sneaky way of asking for your best reads lmao#also!!!! the fic that pops off is not necessarily the one that you think is the best!#a lot of what gets popular on ao3 is pure luck (like anything!)#and what you like the most might not be what's popular#and i would really love to give the chance for authors to showcase a fic they're proud of but might not get the most likes#or w/e idk - again i just want to read things 🤣#please link something 🙏#also there's so many people i could have tagged up there#i decided on 5 so it would make it easier for other people to tag but like....#honestly might go back or reblog another chain of this with some more people 😅#there are so many authors i love in this fandom ARHGHG you're all so talented!!!#i am incensed!! i want to tag more people!!!!#i'm coming for you fic authors#i'm gonna get ya with me tag games#anyway i'm gonna go to bed my tags are getting too rambly i am sorry#have fun!!!! thank you for playing!!!!
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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There are currently 6 requests left on my inbox, and it might take me a while to do them all, but don't worry, I've received them 💕
#maybe i need a tag for when I just say stuff#that way people who don't care can filter them lol#also you all saw the opportunity and jumped at it lmao i wasn't expecting that many#I'm happy to do them though they're all lovely#fair warning i might start including the link to my ko-fi#just as a nudge nudge kinda thing#I'm very bad at it but you know#i SHOULD at least try to make people aware it exists#something else? uuuh do let me know if you have any idea as to what i could use as a funny tag for my rambling#okay take care everyone
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Have you thought of N getting his revenge on J for all the years he has been builled by her?
i don't think he ever would. N is a naturally very nice and forgiving person, specially so to a fault. i really don't think he holds/held a grudge against her or V for the way they've treated him prior to his meeting with uzi. the most negative we've gotten was his "J, you're sometimes kinda mean to me and I wish you weren't. Just some constructive criticism!" but even then, it was prompted by uzi and he did say "constructive criticism" lol
other than that, he has THANKED HER when she stepped on him, called him worthless and terrible and she'd kill him if company allowed it; when she LITERALLY almost kills him and never complained about her bullying in the manor. he stopped uzi from throwing (presumably) an insult towards eldritch J's appearance, was completely chill when she came back as a clone????
bottom line is, N doesn't seem like the type to hold grudges or plan revenge against anyone, even if they've actively hurt him for so long. he's always willing to give everyone even a little bit of a benefit of the doubt
#N is cool and wholesome as hell#but he also makes me extremely sad.#despite being so kind and generous; always believing the best in others and giving everyone the benefit of the doubt#he was never treated the way he deserved until uzi came into his life#sighhhh. reason no.10301004 of why i love N and uzi's relationship#even as just friends because lovers are friends first and foremost for me and love isn't all about kissing and holding hands or something#it's about that connection and having someone who believes in you; supports you and respects you. someone who cherishes you so deeply#anyway woah rambling about Nuzi in tags? this is the equivalent of going on a tangent in the replies of our tweets LMAO#promise once we finish our analysis of Nuzi; I'm posting it here too LOL#ALSO CAN I TALK ABOUT HOW ANNOYING IT IS YOU CAN'T USE COMMAS IN TAGS??? as a comma fanatic; I'm outraged /j#murder drones#txt
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Today's Ace n' Mooch are listening to music
#acen'moochdaily#undertale yellow#ace uty#uty ace#mooch uty#uty mooch#mod chive#Istg if people STILL can't tell my Ace is a raccoon I'm gonna sob#do I seriously need to give him a snout before people get the picture even if it doesn't make sense?#he wears a bandana why would i give him a snout#as to why I made him a raccoon? It was an exhausting Friday when I played UTY that day#and for some reason my mind's first instinct was to ask 'is he some sort of raccoon'#he doesn't give any raccoon vibes I know but I was tired that day#and now I'm just clinging to that hc to dear life#and i realized I accidentally would make him related to Mo in my hc as well so uh. lmao#well okay fine he DOES have bear feline traits and is in fact based off both a raccoon and a tuxedo cat#but the rodent traits in my hc still reign over the feline ones#oh god I rambled way too much in the tags my bad
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#thriller bark#ch473#ik this is not on the same post i had my little enstars tag ramble on#and i've said before idk how many of you read these (though evidently enough of you do i see you#people who prev tags my silly comments. and reply to me as well hiiii)#but i will not apologize for like. being silly doing life updates in the tags#i've been told one of my charm points is that i'm very passionate about things i like#idk how to flirt i just let my autism flare up til my girlfriend kisses me /j <- mostly cuz we're ldr#augh speaking of my gf.... she's coming to visit me in june for a wedding for my friend#she's my +1 i'm excited to see her we're gonna go on a cute date the day after#oh i'm excited i havent seen her since january 2023 before we even got together lmao#okay. now that i got that out of the way i should finish queuing this chapter before i go to sleep
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i wish we'd call transphobia what it is: transphobia more often and more comfortably tbh
#this isn't about the person whose post i rbed i'm not vagueing them!#i just read the france football association statement regarding the argentinian chants#and yeah obviously the chants are discriminatory but if you're gonna specify that it's racism why not specify it's transphobia as well?#i mean i know why. i'm not surprised. acknowledging transphobia as its own specific form of discrimination is NOT common in most spaces#or so i've noticed at least obviously my experiences and what i see are limited but i think it's fair assuming this is true in most places#anyway i certainly don't expect it to be done in the football world of all spaces#but it sucks and everyone SHOULD become comfortable calling out transphobia specifically#obviously there's intersections with other forms of oppression and discrimination but it DOES have specific ways of manifesting#and specific consequences etc. that we need to acknowledge. i want people to learn to recognize transphobia and call it what it is#of course the problem is that a lot of people are still afraid to acknowledge the existence of trans people and the fact we're people who#deserve rights and protection from harm so. yeah. long way before people say the word trans AND THEN the word transphobia#nico rambles#transphobia tw#ok to rb btw altho i said most of it in the tags lmao
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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Got a new, extremely serious, life changing diagnosis yesterday and when I got home my dad was like "You know what that means? DISABILITY TAX CREDIT!" and y'know what he's right and he should say it
#they're trying their best!#my mom just asked me 'so are you just going to live with this forever?' and i didn't have the heart to say yes#so i just said 'it usually goes into remission around middle age'#my mom said she'd prefer to just research it herself. but i made sure to explain how the doctor told me it was caused by#not being accepted by my peers and having a hard time building attachments#because i know she's going to see 'caused by childhood trauma' and start asking what she did wrong#they're just people y'know?#they've made mistakes and absolutely some of those mistakes contributed to me being this way#but i don't blame them#they're just people. who feel intensely and love and want what's best for everybody. especially me#and i wouldn't change anything#sorry that got intense in the tags lmao#i got that borderline swag. i'm allowed to say that now i'm diagnosed#aaaaaaand i ain't getting treated till 2026. hell yeah psychiatric system#incoherent rambling
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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I am posting yuri self-ship art on main because I'm very proud of this and also fuck you <3
#Not sure if I'm gonna tag this with the tags tbh#eh#sona#dulcie (sona)#pizzelle#dulcelle#that's our ship name btw#self ship#f/o#selfshipping#selfship art#if anyone gives me flak for this it's an instant block :)#btw yes i know i don't exactly look like i fit in the universe#i just didn't really know how to draw myself in the style in a way that satisfies me. tried one time but i hated it#so i just went with random ass anime girl is apparently pizzy's wife#i think it's kinda funny tbh. it's kinda like kappa mikey ig??#idfk lol#sorry for rambling in the tags like always lol anyways look at me and my wife#okay actually one more thing yes i know pizzy's marriage got retconned and it's implied pizzette will be canon but lmao i don't care
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it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time
I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world
And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with
#N posts stuff#one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety#now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body#but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself#like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao#bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something'#like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with#is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again#and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than#'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it#which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that#so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :)#if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively#like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away.#and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered#like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?'#dimension 20#d20: stupendous stoats#tula#d20lb
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Maybe the fog’s here because I want it here.
Is that why I opened the windows?
Maybe I asked the fog to come…
-MAG170: Recollection
#furry art#anthro art#fursona#ink markings#vent art#avoiding tagging the show the lines are from bc the art has nothing to do with the podcast lmao#the rest of these tags are rambling you can stop reading now no worries !#it’s just getting gross outta my head and onto paper#I’m so bad at conversations and I know it’s my own fault but it feels isolating#I gotta get better at talking but I’m just afraid to reach out to people#no idea how to talk that isn’t infodumping#I just wanna talk about my OCs or my fandoms or just…. anything but feel like no one wants to hear that shit lmao#sometimes I feel like the people in my life would rather interact with anyone other than me lmao#I feel way better after drawing this out tho#bless the arts#i know i know i need to be the one to reach out more#and i know my anxiety stems from my parents hardcore ridiculing me whenever i talked to much#and my exes ignoring me at the drop of a hat for whatever new thing piqued them#but its hard to know that logically and get my brain to cooperate#and not think that I'm automatically annoying every person i speak to#although maybe it's also better because anyone who gets stuck in a room irl with me knows i don't shut up lmao#maybe its for the best i can never manage to do it in text
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So I know the quality sucks and we don't get any better quality to compare, but I just wanted to point out that, yes. Baby Carlo has freckles. Very few of them. But you can see the ones he had since he was a wee young lad standing out in his painting.
Go ahead and go into the game and stand in front of the portrait. Compare their faces. I'll wait c:
Here's a full/clean version of his portrait if you want to stare at it
So anyways like I was saying before--
#Lies of P#Lies of P Spoilers#The one my eyes immediately zoom in on... is the one right on his lip#Unmistakable little dark speck on his wittle lip ;; ;; just wanna poke it and give him cookies he is so baby I cry#But yeah. My whole thing from before yadda yadda children with brown eyes and clearer skin#developing blue ones and getting more freckles as they age blah blah y'know the drill LOL#This is mostly being done because I really hate the fact that people are like “Umm actually? He doesn't look that way.” on people's stuff#and being rude to others over it. So. Here's your proof. And if you don't like it? Sorry lmao#go into the game and stare at the painting. Tell me what you see. You'll see the faint freckles.#I don't care how people draw Carlo and honestly any interpretation is valid and very cute and very good#But do not bully others with false info because of a singular bad ending showcase of “Carlo” lol#That's all!! I'm done rambling in the tags!!! Smells mildly salty sorry LOL just. Y'know. Enjoy the damn game y'all.#And enjoy every version of this lad. Visual and written. We are given GIFTS by this fandom. Enjoy them!!
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I think the hair change only happens if you ask Shadowheart to undress first. (If you need to take screenshot or smth) That said I hope that bug gets fixed in the next patch.
Actually there is just so many Shadowheart stuff that is bugged or otherwise unavailable in the game that if Larian suddenly decided to care about that it would make the rest of the fandom complain about her getting so much content.
Oh, that's interesting, thanks for the heads-up! 💜 I just happened to be playing through that bit on my lunch break. But that's good to know in case I make any characters that wouldn't make her undress first (likelihood: deeply low, I am who I am)
I've heard there's a couple bugs with Shadowheart—complete hearsay that if you play a Selûnite, one unique kiss doesn't trigger?—and the supposedly recently added "Act 2 banter" when romancing her has literally never triggered for me either. Dunno what else is bugged, but it's unfortunate either way. I hope it all eventually gets fixed, though.
Tbh, I think there's other companions that need more/fleshed out stuff (especially Wyll, give the man a fuller sex scene and let him address the PC differently during a romance...) but I take most of the people getting really worked up about other characters getting "more" than their faves with a grain of salt. There's far too often some level of misunderstanding going on, like when people thought that the Valentine's Update was only about kisses.
#hey you can ask me things!#re: undressing — listen all I'm saying is that Asheera isn't taking orders like that lmao#and yeah there is a content disparity in companions#but I'm primarily a womankisser and thus spoilt for choice 😔#(the rest of this got away from me ramble-wise but I'm keeping the tags because it's very much a real thing)#though not really spoiled because almost all the women's sex scenes appeal more to bottoms and subs#thus I am woefully underserved#alas I must make due with headcanons and 1 of Shadowheart's because it's mostly fade-to-black lol#but tbqh that's the “socially acceptable” tone you can express when you like women#and frankly it's even worse when you're a trans woman that likes women#it's more “socially OK" to openly self-identify with bottom or sub desires but it's suddenly weird when you're a top or domme#plus there's the absolute bizarre behavior people exhibit when you want to write a character in a way that reflects your sexuality#there's only one Approved Way™ to be... and honey we ain't it#but you didn't hear that from meeeeeeeeee#(not mention my deeply held belief that Shadowheart exhibits some wildly subby tendencies but we're just not having talk anymore)
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