#the urges i have will bar me from heaven's gates forever

[release-the-mccracken]

[howdoyousleep3]

omg! would u ever write beefy bucky x twunk steve in a rs where steve act is the one who’s the more assertive one in the rs? and bucky despite his size is the shy one, always uncomfortable w how people presume his size = him wanting to be on top when all he really wants is someone to rail him 6 ways to sunday. bc that ask where you talk about how beefy buck gets all weepy and whimpering????? that got me soooooo hot like????? love you K!!!!

Oh, baby oh.

OH.

This may come as a surprise, but this has been the one pairing (aside from a Daddy pairing) that I have thought about the most and how silly is it that I haven’t written them at all?! I feel like they’re the one I’m kinda waiting to touch, saving them up for the right moment.

Honestly, a story I’ve always wanted to write was Artist Steve Rogers and Museum Curator James Barnes. Steve is this poor big baby who has just always wanted a Daddy but has kind of stuck with this image that others and society have given him—a top and a dom. But upon meeting James and hearing a smooth, “I’m so sorry I’m late, doll,” and seeing James has Steve wanting to drop and nuzzle into a thigh immediately. But he fights it forever, fights it while they date, lets those urges slip through a tiny bit, enough to where James is like “mmkay bb I see you” and shows Steve tiny spurts of Daddy energy. And then one night Steve can’t take it anymore, is so riled up from waking up from a wet dream and wanting a Daddy and has realized he’s drawn things out. He races over to James house in the middle of the night and James is all, “Baby, what are you doin’ here?” and Steve just gets all needy and quiet and is embarrassed so James grabs for him and is encouraging him to say it what’s wrong what’ya need, always so goddamn encouraging, and Steve breaks and whimpers, “Daddy...?” and—

😌 Feel free to use any part of this idea because I doubt I’ll write this lol.

OKAY ANYWAY BACK TO THIS.

I adore a built twunky Steve who most would probably look at and go ??? because who knows if he tops or if he bottoms. They take one look at the man holding his hand, his sheer size, and they go, “oh okay so the blond deffo bottoms, look at that guy.” Wrong. WRONG.

Gimme the bashful Bucky, all blushes and silly smiles the very first time Steve sees Bucky from across the bar and lights him up immediately. People don’t just go and…hit on Bucky like that, so openly and so forwardly. And never in a way that implies that Bucky isn’t as dominating as his size would make it seem.

“What’s a pretty thing like you tryin’ to hide in a corner like this for?”

It would have been so goddamn hard for Bucky to not go home with Steve the first night, this big-all-over beefcake everything that Bucky has ever wanted in a man. He looks like he would feel incredible pressing Bucky into the mattress, the way he looks at Bucky makes Bucky’s tummy get all warm, and that bottom lip looks like absolute sin. Even after Steve pulls Bucky into a bathroom stall, presses him tight against the back of the door and kisses Bucky like he’s a dyin’ man in a desert and Bucky is an oasis, Bucky doesn’t go home with Steve. What he does go home with is a hickey on the underside of his jaw and a new number in his phone.

“S’alright, honey. You take your time; you’re worth a wait.”

These two would be so fucking obsessed with each other. Finally able to be themselves and have what they want in a partner? Stop. Steve would be so goddamn gone for Bucky, this big guy, this big bear all to himself, all pretty murmurs and blush high on the cheeks and snuggles. So much to hold, so much to squeeze and love on. So sweet and thoughtful and caring, gutting eyes and a smile that makes Steve feel like he sees the gates of heaven each time it graces Bucky’s face.

Steve would show the world he was gone for this guy, totally smitten. Hands on lower back, hands on thigh, sitting on the same side of the table. Squeezes to the back of the neck, whispers in ears, kisses on cheeks. Let people look, let them see how he reduces Bucky, this Bucky, into a puddle of goo with very little effort. Let them see Bubba’s blush, his lowered gaze, his bitten bottom lip. Let him see the way Bucky slowly stops seeing everyone else in a room and in turn soaks up and glows under such attention.

But the sex? Full stop. Steve would have almost come in his pants the first time they had sex (like two days after they met, bucky is weak af) and Bucky spread his thighs so willingly for Steve. Steve gobbles up the noises that Bucky makes when he’s just starting to get overwhelmed, is starting to get needy. They’re breathless and barely there and so small it makes Steve growl. Steve can’t help but egg Bucky on, push him so those noises become prettier and prettier, until he gets a little stupid for just Steve and Steve alone.

“Look at’chu, bubba. Huh? What’chu want? You want this? Come on, use your words, pretty.”

Steve would taunt and tease right on the edge of overwhelming, perfect, make Bucky get a few good hiccups out as he tried so hard to get words out, god. But it’s so hard to get words out when Steve can’t pull away from Bucky’s mouth, his own lips, his fingers, his tongue, he can’t help it.

There’s nothin’ sweeter than Bucky, chest heaving and eyes watery and hands grabby, whimpering out a needy little, “Steve, c’mon…wan’you, want…god want you to fuck me. Please? Steve…”

Okay, just kidding.

Bucky getting Steve’s dick is way sweeter than him asking for it. The way he goes a little cross-eyed, the way he lets out a tiny whimper every time Steve pushes in, the way his lips curl up into a grin when he feels his orgasm coming. The way he says Steve’s name, the way he tips his chin and whines for kisses, the way he asks for Steve’s come, arches his back, hikes his legs high up on that bitty waist. The way he’s so warm and so pliant and so eager, so ready, so cockdrunk, so easy. The way he trusts Steve to move him around and show some strength, to love on him in such a way, to give himself over to Steve like that.

So big but so little, so pretty and precious and sweet, his big bubba bear.

We love to see it, nonnie LOVE TO SEE IT. I don’t know if I’d ever write them out but maybe one day! Love you more! 

(shoutout to @bigbraiiin for letting me use her beloved “bubba”, wow what an honor)

[midnight-write13]

Hope Under The Moonlit Night

Word Count: 1313

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Osamu Dazai x gender neutral reader

Warnings: None

Notes: Happy belated birthday Dazai!

Dazai was never one to celebrate his birthday, why would he? As a man who saw no reason for living, he would always dread the day it came, always seeming to run from it as best as he could, drowning himself in cheap booze to possibly forget the day he came into this dark and cruel, pointless existence.

However, the alcohol did little to make him forget. No, the haunting thoughts of a sweet and cold death plagued his mind more than sobriety sometimes, urging him to lay his head down into the dirt and become one with the soil. To leave his body and the cruelties that came with his life behind. Yet he kept drinking, for maybe it was these thoughts of an eternal sleep that brought him comfort through the day, not to achieve a paradise or heaven, for how could a man like him believe, let alone make it past the pearly gates of eternity and peace. What Dazai wanted was to simply sleep...to not exist so that he would never have to think about this unforgiving life again...

Yet there was one time he did celebrate his birthday...with an old friend who had taken him for a drink in the quiet of the night at their favorite bar. That quiet night was one of the few painted in brighter colors within his mind, one to contrast the horrid darkness of his other memories. This one gave him the taste of happiness that a man could have, a man who walked his life without the burden of knowing how cruel the world could be...but it wasn’t long before it was tainted with somber and dark colors again with the passing of his friend…

Thoughts of never being able to enjoy a night such as that one, when the world and his thoughts finally came to rest for a peaceful moment, and the drink he shared with his friend under the warm glow of the bar’s light in the quiet alleyway of the night was enough to bring him joy haunted him in the nights of his birthdays now and became worse when he attempted to drink.

The burning taste of alcohol upon his tongue could not possibly match the cold sinking feeling within his heart that froze his veins and slowed his movements. That burning drink, the one most could use to warm themselves on a cold night had grown cold to him on that one day of the year. Almost as cold as the lifeless body of his friend…

That same burn that had calmed him before with thoughts of eternal sleep would forever be etched into his memory as what could have been...What could have been years of celebrating his birthday in peace with a dear friend and warm drink if he had been lucky enough. That burn in his mouth sent a suffocating smoke to wrap over his thoughts and senses which left him panicked and trapped like an animal desperately trying to leave behind its cage for freedom. Yet, every time he tried to run, a force kept forcing him to stay, cursing him to stay alive and walk this cursed earth longer, to suffer through the cold emptiness in his chest night after night after night…

He cursed the sky and to any god or deity that heard him. What had he done to deserve walking this wretched life? What had he done to be born into this world? What had he done to be forsaken by every blessing and gift that fell upon another’s life while he stayed cursed, cast into the shadows of a city filled with people who would one day leave him...

So now, he spends the day sober, usually trapped in his dark and empty home, or maybe even strolling around the dark corners of the bustling city as he used to do within his time at the mafia, watching as others happily carry on through life, never knowing the turmoil of a man who stood next to them. It was better like this...better to be alone than have a hope that would inevitably be crushed…

So why...why was he here with you on the horrid day of his birth?

He didn’t know.

As the soft pale lighting of the moon trickled through the branches of the full trees during the cold late hours of the night, a breeze brushed over you, painting a trail of goosebumps over your skin while swaying the leaves within its path. The effect causes the pale moonlight to dance across your skin and clothes, creating an ethereal glow around you within the dark night hours.

Dazai can’t help but watch in awe over the beauty that you are, not only physically, but internally as well, his heart thumping wildly in his chest.

He promised himself he wouldn’t hope...wouldn’t bring that pain upon himself or others cursed to know him. It was his defense, his security to be empty, but he should have known better. Humans are born with emotions that grow and fester inside of them, and no matter how far they bury them down, they always find a way to dig their way out, most times exploding in our faces to remind us just how human we are...and that is what happened to Dazai.

“What are you doing?” You giggle as he takes your hand into his, pulling you up.

“Is it weird for me to want to be close to the love of my life?~” he coos playfully, placing your hand onto his shoulder before wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling your body closer to his. Unlike the alcohol he used to numb himself before it turned into a painful punishment on his birthday, your touch burned him in a way he could not fully describe. It was like a kind fire that was sent through his veins, creating a heavenly warmth in his body.

You give him that smile, the one he’s so afraid of because of the light feeling it gives him, that light feeling of joy and hope that begins to settle into his heart once more. The smile that could make him break in ways he doesn’t want to ever feel again, the smile he so truly and desperately wants to keep and love, like a fool who does not know the burdens of the world.

“No, you can hold me as close as you’d like~” you respond with a joyful tone, one that strikes his heart. Do you even know the effect that you have on him? To make him so scared of the way his heart skips a beat, of the way it melts from your words and craves you. It terrifies him…

But with your voice so full of that loving warmth that could melt him down to a puddle of nothing and break down his defenses he had to protect himself, even against his other friends within the Detective Agency, he lets go. Even if for just a brief moment in the long time that he is alive, he lets go. His problems will be back for him, he knows it, but for now, he allows himself to indulge, just like he did with the burning liquid on this same day. He takes a bit of the forbidden fruit as he sways you to the melody of the wind on a moonlit night, knowing that once he returns to the reality of the city and his world, he will be anxiously awaiting a painful reminder of his life that was supposed to be weaved with pain.

“Then I’ll hold you for as long as I can, my angel.”

Hope and love were dangerous in his world, but a sweet escape as well. Even if only for a moment, he’ll let himself feel it again.

[shortstoriesmk]

Who Called The Uber?

Who Called The Uber?

by Massi Kabir

 Of course, I could tell you now, that my natural curiosity for everything outside the walls of everyday dullness brought me here. That I love flirting with one of my many fears, seducing her, just to slit her throat during one of our first dates.

I could tell you that I think of my comfort zone as a purple ugly pajama, which, whenever my courage lets me, I happily trade for nudity.

There is certainly truth to these points, and yet, they all would undermine the immense irrational power of a man's lust in his early 30's.

So, if you are really wondering who called that Uber last night, let me tell you:

 My dick did.

  So this is how it went:

 One last check in front of the mirror. I like what I see and tell myself silently, "You look fresh, brother".

It's probably mostly my nerves talking, but yes, I did somehow find that sweet spot between under- and overdressed. I can tell that my white button-up shirt and black leather shoes are happy to know that funerals are not their only reason to exist. I promise them something special for tonight. The casual green jeans and a black blazer add to my contentment and make me put my shoulders back. I do that because I recently read that we, humans, derive from the lobsters. Apparently, their postures tell a lot about their ranking within their dominance hierarchy. Low posture, low rank. A balanced upright posture is supposed to increase serotonin levels, which ultimately results, along with other benefits, in better mating opportunities. I believe that, and hence, push my chest out, eager to kiss the world with my nipples.

Lastly, I grab my deo roller. I tell it that I need some more tonight and that armpits ain't enough. It knows I quit perfume a long time ago and hence, complies loyally doing the extra shift while I take it on an extended trip over my body's skin.

 Finally, in the Uber, I count my breaths like a Zen Buddhist despite knowing I'll never be one. I admit to myself that I'm a nervous bloke under the leadership of his lust and throw the driver a grin through his stained rear-view mirror. With every inhale, there is a hail of bravery echoing inside of me. ‘14 minutes till arrival’, says the app that managed to erase my interest in public transport forever. Enough time for me to consider changing the number of open shirt buttons from two to three.

It's a gamble, I know. But, it could pay off. I mean, they will see that my chest has not given birth to much hair yet, but, on the other hand, 3 open buttons demonstrate a sense of willingness and availability. And, in a place like the one I am about to enter, these two attributes are dominating currencies.

So, three it is.

The Uber drops me in front of number 73.

I ring the bell. 80 seconds later, a shrill tone cuts off my stream of doubts, whether this is the right address or not, and lets me open the gate. My balls are hoping it's the gate to heaven. Everything is possible right now. I feel it. I head towards the house.

 A plum, too dry to open doors like that, welcomes me while I gaze at her face. The sperms I brought, that a minute ago were still arguing about who would be the first in line, suddenly start to sympathize with the idea of retreat. Within seconds, the old lady's hands swallow my €80 while her noisy décolleté goes fishing for my eyeballs. My deep Zen breathing turns all the sudden shallow and, my pulse climbs a little mountain, while my face tries its best to not give it away. Then, I stare through the second entrance door, which is out of glass. I already get the feeling that it probably does a better job of serving as an exit.

Whatever. It's too late to get my bucks back and too early to decide to remain clothed, so vamos.

 I'm somewhere in the outskirts of Lisbon inside a villa that will probably never live up to that title.

The smoke in the air forms a maze for my vision. But, it's ok. It doesn't take much vision anyway to understand that pants are outnumbering skirts in this cave that smells like filth. During its amateur application process for this event, I raised the question on WhatsApp of how many people would attend.

‘100’ was the answer. Now, finding myself looking at an empty dance floor, I feel this strong urge to sue the former math teacher of whoever typed that ridiculously inaccurate reply.

The plum, sensing the swelling of my disappointment, urges me to come with her for a little house viewing before I start mingling. If her whole outfit wouldn't scream so loud, "Please, fuck me!" I might have understood her real name when she mentioned it earlier on my arrival. The syllables of her name, however, got swallowed instantly by the kanon that her different overexposed body parts sing tonight. Off-key, sadly.

I follow her walking up the stairs. Her moment to wave her ass cheeks right in my face. She knows what she is doing and does so in pride, reminding me of a patriot waving his country's flag. It has to be a patriot from somewhere within the European Union, though, ‘cause, something is telling me that the borders of her ass must be equally open. The upper floor is dark and arranged with cold walls that shape rooms that are meant to host strangers engaging in the warmest act that God has ever invented for us.

In the aisle, we pass a closed wooden door. "We can't go in here, right now," she informs me, "there are people inside, fucking!" She says that in a fashion more causal than a 'Fruit of the Loom' shirt. In particular, the word "fucking" and the way it sounds trespassing her slightly chapped lips has me irritated immensely. I mean sure, there is not much romance to the word by default anyway, never was. But her tonality and the way she lets the word roll over her tongue makes me somehow want to commit to vanilla sex for the rest of a monogamous life.

The tour through the upper floor continues. She calls it her 'dream villa'. I get introduced to Dark room, glory whole wall, various single rooms, two open fucking spaces, and a little cage. Except for the one room that was closed, it is all still empty here; no sweat yet, no moans, no ripped condom packages. She goes on about how she built it all on her own, how this is all a product of her imagination, and how it took her 6 years to bring this place to where it is right now.

I pretend caring while she keeps massaging her ego. I am too caught up to be real with her. I am still disturbed. I mean, why would she treat the word "fucking" like that? It was this cold aggression in her voice that bugged me. As if she had stored it inside the bottom freezer box of her vocabulary's fridge and made it a habit to bend for it whenever she felt like rebelling onto the world. The hobby psychologist inside me senses that trauma made her a rebel – a rebel that fights with the weapons of vulgarity, just to cover up scars of a past encounter with a cheap replica of love. We all have been there, some way or another, so I try my best not to judge her. And still, I hate her.

The f word always was something holy for me, especially out of a woman's mouth. A real lady chooses to use it scarcely, and that's where the magic lingers. Only when a man has already done the necessary, to own the right to hear her language go south, will she choose to dip her words in dirt. Nothing is sweeter for a man than having a well-spoken lady using the f word for the first time while whispering in his ear the request to penetrate her so she can lose her brain. Needless to say, this plum seems to have lost its sweetness a very long time ago.

 We go downstairs again, and I drop my blazer at the cloakroom. Her "see you later" is featured by a gaze of her eyes that tells me that she has plans to liberate me from more than just my blazer at a later point this night.

With her leaving my side, I have finally arrived at my first swinging party. Officially. I welcome myself with a beer that I order from the bar. I speak from my balls while I do so, oiling my vocal cords with some fabricated confidence. The truth, however, is I am nervous.

I came alone tonight in order to not to be alone tonight. I came to let my lust off its leash. Yes. Nobody can see it, but I wear a mask at this moment, one of my favorite ones; it's called anonymity. I am leaning at the bar facing the dance floor and nervously swim in this sensation this mask provides me with, all while sipping on this lukewarm beer. Being anonymous means being a nobody to everybody. It's a chance to flip your skin and dance life with a different set of steps for a little while. You can be a dervish under the disco ball of life, at least temporarily.

But here is the downside: anonymity is a very fragile phenomenon, it cracks the longer you stick around. People get to know you, open their boxes and throw you inside one of them, without caring if you break or not. This makes life easier for them and harder for you.

Right now, however, leaning on this bar, sipping on this bottle, I can feel that I am box-free. I can be whoever I want to be, or better, whoever I am.

This sense of freedom, mixed with the alcohol that starts curving through my veins, calms me down, and I decide to make my way to the other end of the room. My chest stays out, of course, it's mingling time.

 I scanned the room already for all its potential and could only find one young lady that I really desire to undress instantly. I am heading towards her, and position myself next to her, and her male companion, who could be her husband, it's hard to tell. Sure is, they are close to each other and seem to have found a nice way of throwing and catching each other’s smiles. I can tell by the way they treat each other. It looks like love that already ripened for some years. 'Their sex must be good', I am thinking. At the same time, I wonder, 'Why are they here then? Why are they not at home with some candles and a record player spinning a Marvin Gay vinyl?’ They are in their early 40's, I am guessing, which makes me wonder if they have children. If so, what did they tell them where they are going tonight? Theater? Cinema? Dinner with friends? And did they hire a babysitter? The nerd in me wants to know now how many millions have been spent in the history of the world on babysitters so parents can go and exchange body fluids with strangers in a place where glory holes adorn walls. 'The world is sick,' I am thinking, 'in a sweet way. And so am I.'

I heard once that one should always stick to the '3-second rule' when planning to approach his object of desire. That means it should be avoided at all cost to spend more than three-seconds contemplating on the execution of the approach. Now all this thinking got me already to second 42 and I am feeling how hesitation gets the better of me. What if they reject me? What if they don't speak English? What if I am not their type? What will the others think of me when they see how I am getting rejected? All these amateur questions start to vomit over my mind and leave me crippled in the corner, three meters away from the couple my dick would like to have a threesome with.

I tell myself, 'there will be another, better chance later' and shift my focus back to the poorest dance floor I have seen in years.

There is some movement happening. The light is getting dimmed and the plum tells people to make some space for what is about to come. Then she starts speaking with a man whose size reminds me of a vintage wardrobe. His arms are filled with ink and his veins tell an ugly story about steroids. All of a sudden, mid through the conversation, she starts pointing at me and explains to him eagerly something which clearly involves me and my presence. After her briefing, he promptly makes his way towards me. While he does so, he reminds me of a big dog who is going for his bone, which Mama just threw for him. His eyes are getting bigger and there is a rising amount of saliva flowing in his mouth. I dislike the fact that she chose me to be the bone in this scenario, but I guess our brief sighting-seeing tour made her believe that we have a special connection or something. My fault, I should stop being nice to people I hate.   

 I'll never know his name, but there is a 99% chance that his name is Joao, Pedro, or Miguel. The Portuguese are special people, very sensitive and creative. I love them. But when it comes to naming their children, it seems like creativity and originality are two players they constantly put on the bench.

The walking wardrobe, who looks like a 'Pedro' to me, reaches me and screams in my ear:

"Come! She wants you to come."

Maybe he even said:

"Come! She wants you to cum."

Not sure about it, but honestly, in this place, these two sentences point in the very same direction. His right palm eats my left arm as he tries to pull me closer towards his plum, who is waiting on the edge of her small yet still under-crowded dance floor. I brush his hand off my limb and tell him to chill, asking what he wants from me. Pedro repeats his sentence in his broken English and lets eventually go off me. There is some tension between us, I can tell, and so can the few people around us. I'm not a short bloke, but Pedro's height exceeds mine by minimum seven centimetres and he is certainly physically stronger than me. Now that he is so close, I can witness the distinctive features in his face and start reading a bit of the story that is written inside his mime. It's a story of pain, I can tell by the tension of the muscular tissue in his face and the corners of his mouth, which seem to travel more often south rather than north.

I always thought of pain as a huge house, something like a villa. And if sadness is the main hall inside that villa, then aggression is something like the entrance hall or lobby. Behind aggression always lives sadness. Behind every fist always hides a tear. Looking at Pedro now makes me believe that he somehow got stuck in that lobby of pain and that for every tear he swallowed, one of his enemies had to swallow one of his jewelry-adorned fists. I don't want to swallow his fist. Not now, not here, not in this filthy cave that he calls his kingdom.

So, I walk up to the plum with him and ask her, “What's the matter?” She tells me: "You are way too sexy to be standing there all on your own, honey. Sit down here next to my friend". She points at the small sofa next to her, right on the dance floor. Her friend is a lady in her late 30's, a couple of years older than me, who refuses to hide her crooked, brownish teeth, while she grins at me. A small wave of disgust breaks inside me. I usually feel great sympathy for people who carry their imperfections with dignity and some sort of pride because it can show confidence, and confidence has always been a sexy thing to me. But like with everything, there is a line. And unfortunately, her set of teeth is crossing that line by miles.

Despite the lack of resonance I'm feeling, I decide to sit down next to her. I guess Pedro and the plum left some sort of intimidating impression on me, otherwise, I can't tell why I would ever sit on this couch. On her right sits another man, roughly my age, who seems, besides me, to be the only man that picked a white button-up shirt as his attire for this night, which was supposed to be a glorious one. He looks happier and way more at ease compared to me. 'Why am I sitting here? What the fuck am I doing here?' I'm asking myself, while I feel this pressure inside my body. In my mind, I'm comparing this pressure, with how a woman must feel when she is pregnant. I came here, being impregnated by lust, trying to give birth to one of my shadows that lingers in a room inside of me, where society and all its conventions have no access to. But now, sitting on this damn couch, getting my thigh stroked by a woman that never believed in dentistry, I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that tonight, this pregnancy is about to end in a miscarriage. ‘What the fuck am I doing here?’

My pulse climbs again this mountain as I'm starting to understand what is about to happen here. The light is being dimmed, even more, a new song, even worse than the one before, is being played and the plum approaches the pole, which is decorating the center of the dance floor. Her time has come. The plum strip show is about to happen. Finally or, sadly. Depending on whom you ask in here. I stay with my opinion that she is way too old for these type of things. There should be a universal pole dance law in place, forbidding women with a certain amount of wrinkles in her face to ever touch a pole and charge money for it, I'm thinking. I reminisce about my €80 entry fee and what else I could have done with it. There was a commercial by a charity, which I spotted the other day, claiming it would cost only €40 to save a life in Africa. And here I am now, watching these two old white breasts stroking a pole in an unpopular swinging club, somewhere in Portugal, all while I could have saved two beautiful black twins, somewhere in Africa. Bravo!

The strip show continues, and I'm carefully watching her movement and the way she carries herself, sliding around this pole with her 10 cm high heels on. I need to give her some credit even though I struggle somehow finding the right words for it. Maybe for the effort. Or maybe, for the past potential that used to be there. I can imagine how, at a time, when her body didn't show any plum resemblance yet, this pole and these heels used to be her key into a world full of decadence and successful businessmen, who liked to spoil her with material things, after they got their naked part of the deal. Time took this key from her one day like it does to all pretty ladies. Time threw that key overboard into the inevitable ocean of evanescence, and she jumped right after it trying to catch it again and again, without notable success to this day. No anti-aging cream, no surgeon, and no dance pole can prevent that key from hitting the ocean bed. Thinking about this, I almost feel sorry for her. Maybe, it was not her fault. Maybe, we are to blame; we men, by tricking pretty ladies into betting all their chips on their beauty, and making them believe this winning streak will last forever. Sadly, it doesn't.

Physical beauty serves the eyes. And the eyes of humans are little hungry monsters. Monsters that like to eat only one thing and one thing only: Symmetry. Like a dog loves to chew on a bone, our eyes enjoy chewing on symmetry; the more, the better. We simply can't get enough of it. Take the face of Kate Moss, for instance. It's like a five-star dish for these two monsters inside our face, especially for the heterosexual men among us. Scientists discovered that the length and width of a face, as well as the distance between and women's mouth and her eyes, determines how attractive she is to men. Ms. Moss apparently got extremely lucky the day that God handed out facial length and width measures because the distance between the middle of her eyes and her mouth is about 46% of the width of her face, which is supposed to be the "golden ratio". The face of this pole dancing plum in front of me, however, has, apart from those oval over-sized earrings hanging from her lobes, literally nothing golden to offer any more. Time has eaten her symmetry.

As she continues to chase her younger self on this pole, with movements that were not invented for a body aged like hers, she starts looking in our direction. We, the three people on this purple couch, are having the courtside seats in this arena of filth. No one is closer to the action. I'm feeling a bit like Jack Nicholson in the Staples Center or Spike Lee in the Madison Square Garden. Probably more like Mr. Lee, to be honest, since the Knicks seem to have performed equally bad in recent years, just like the plum is now. She starts walking up to us. I'm surprised how stable her walk is, considering her age in combination with those stupidly long heels she is wearing. Personally, I never had a thing for heels; it never did much to me, seeing a girl walking around all stiff and unnatural like that. Marilyn Monroe supposedly said once, "We owe the man who invented high heels so much." I never had a clue what she was talking about until I read again about some scientists that claimed high heels make women's feet look more petite and therefore overall, more attractive to men. Well, I'm a man, and one of the coolest girls I ever dated, came in flip flops to our first date, and instantly gave birth to a butterfly in my belly. But that's maybe for another story. Sure is, I would have made Marilyn wear some Birkenstock's before starting to penetrate her.

So, as the plum arrives at the sofa, she grabs the hand of the other guy and pulls him towards a chair that Pedro, in the meantime, has put right next to the pole. A new song is being played, and she starts lap dancing on the guy who might share with me the affinity for white button-up shirts but certainly not the taste in women. Some people start whistling and yelling little sounds of excitement while her ass takes a hike up his lap, planting a little lump between his legs. I stare at the grin he parked in his face and discover, to my surprise, that it's really a genuine one. The muscles in our face have always fascinated me; they are like a lie detector. I can always tell by someone's facial expressions how close they live to authenticity in a given moment. A fake smile relaxes fast, too fast. On a genuine smile, the corners of the mouth go back calmly and smoothly, to its neutral position, it relaxes slowly. As I keep witnessing this, for me, rather tragic performance, I can clearly see that the guy is genuinely happy and pleased. Pleased by a woman that I named plum the first minute I caught sight of her; a dry plum to be exact.

I feel like an alien that is stranded on a planet that is illiterate to the language of sex and erotic. Where lust is a hyper-inflated currency, making anyone a millionaire, whipping his ass with bills whenever his hormones hand him a dose of horniness. An alien always feels lonely. A feeling of loneliness can only flourish when there is, for whatever reason, no ground or space for sharing. We share by communicating, mostly through language, which is mostly transmitted spoken or through our bodies. My genitals clearly speaks Suaheli compared to the others in here, so how on earth would I ever be able to communicate and share anything in this cave?

Next to me, still sits the lady with the crooked smile, still rubbing my thigh, still refusing to see a dentist. Just like the interior design of her mouth lacks order and alignment, I am starting to lack some patience. Nothing of what my five senses have been absorbing in the last 70 minutes has been really to my liking, and something is telling me that the worst is yet to come if I don't take immediate action. The little mathematician inside my currently confused brain starts doing his job and calculates the probability of me being next in line for a lap dance, like the one I am forced to watch right now. Considering the fact that I'm the only remaining male on this couch, which feels like a substitute bench, the chance of me being the next player on the lap dance field seems alarmingly high. So high that my heartbeat starts mimicking some dub step rhythm and I actually start feeling a bit scared. "I need to get the fuck out of here" is what my inner voice starts shouting. The thought of me sitting in the middle of this dance floor, being watched by all these horny eyeballs while a dry plum slides down my crotch, lets my heartbeat go even higher, approaching more and more the tempo territory of some ‘drum n bass’ track. This cocktail of emotions my spirit is sipping on right now doesn't taste well- I feel scared, disgusted, and ashamed all at the same time. Not good. I need to leave. Now!

 I stand up, fast and assertive. In doing so, I brush off the lady's hand of my thigh, who then tries to stop me by reaching for my wrist, while mumbling some, for me, indigestible syllable salad. She is obviously trying to convince me that I should be staying. That I should be patiently waiting for this present they got prepared for me. I quickly look back at her and can tell by her surprised look that she has no clue of how I'm feeling. She must really be thinking that I'm letting go of some sort of once in a lifetime chance here.

I rush to the cloakroom, just to find out that it's locked. Fuck. I just want my blazer and escape this place. I look around, trying to find someone who could help me with my dilemma, and see Pedro approaching me. He must have seen how I rushed off the couch and also seems surprised about my sudden change of plans. "What's wrong, my friend?" he asks. For a split second, I'm considering to tell him, that we are further away from being friends than the pope from ever using a pack of condoms in his life, but then, discard that idea quickly and just reply: "I need to leave. Can you open the door? I need my blazer." He pulls a set of keys out of his pocket and opens the door, visibly disturbed by my ambition to leave his cave. He almost seems to take it personally and wants to know, "Why do you want to leave? You don't like it here? What's your problem, my friend?" As I take my blazer off the hanger, I tell him that he doesn't have to worry about my problem and that all he needs to know right now is that I need to leave. He senses that I'm serious and decides not to continue his Q&A session with me. He assists me to the exit, where I decide to turn around for one last time and give this place a final look. One last observation that shall be burned into my memory forever, reminding me what I don't want in my still young, erotic life.

I look at the men in here, who are all still excitingly following the narrative of the plum's strip show. She seems to have found another victim that she is now arousing with her clumsy movements. It's a man in green shorts and a blue tank top, who reminds me again of the fact that I'm embarrassingly overdressed tonight. He also seems to have the time of his life, receiving what is, in my view, still Portugal's poorest pole dance performance. I stare at his happy face one last time, observing this sincere, lustful joy that is being displayed in there.

A line from my favorite rapper comes to mind and I whisper it to myself while I finally walked out of my

first swinging party:

 "One man's pain is another man's pleasure.

One man's trash is another man's treasure."

Outside, I button my shirt all the way up to the collar button, grab my phone, and open the Uber app.

This time, it's me who orders the Uber,

 not my dick.

[griffinsandpeacocks]

Loony Two’s Writing Challenge Prompt 1: The Captain’s Heart

  Adam sighed as he walked off L’appel de L’océan, his pride and joy, well except Ben, but as far as earthly possession’s went his ship was his one true love. Ben was his son and Adam loved him more than anyone else on the earth. Since Belle had passed away Ben was really the only person he had outside the crew. He sighs as he goes about the dock his First Mate had taken Ben and he was making sure the ship was fully supplied and stocked before they left again, though first Adam would need to find them a job to do. So while Jean showed Ben the ins and outs of managing L’apple de L’Ocean, Adam was walking abroad the boards of the dock looking about for his typical contacts that gathered information on jobs. 

“Oiy, Adam, over ‘ere!” A loud voice calls. Adam looks over to see it’s the dock master Uma, who’d taken over for her father some years ago, and had a rather aggressive temperament due to her mother who’d run off into the sea or so her father claimed. She was a fine Dockmaster, and she had her own ship and crew so Adam felt no urge to argue given she kept everything inline, at least here at the docks. 

“Yes, Uma? Is there something I can help with?” Adam asks and she snickers, she nods and waves him closer as she turns to start walking away. Adam jogs up and starts walking by her, she’s roughly Ben’s age but he had known her for quite some time, her age wasn’t an issue, some might think her gender was, her First Mate was quick to deal with those fools though, luckily she kept him restrained for the most part. Harry was hot tempered and given what Adam knew of the Captain that was his father it was no small wonder he was.

“Depends on if you find his pay well enough worth it. He says he’s never been out to sea it makes him nervous supposedly like setting foot into a kingdom as an opposing Lord. His words too, I can take you to meet him if you’re interested in the job?” Uma says and Adam shrugs. 

“Depends on the pay but I’ll transport him wherever he’d like to go so long as the pay justifies the distance.” Adam says and she nods and leads him to a seedier bar on the docks and they go to a dim corner where a candle burns a blue flame and a sullen looking man sits playing with a small blue stone he glances there  way and pulls up a neutral face as he sits up hand closing around the stone.

“Dockmaster.” He greets looking wearily at Adam. Uma takes a seat and Adam follows suit the stranger wears dark colors and was on the paler side, his eyes catch Adam though, they seem to shift between blue and grey. 

“Hades. This is Adam Florian. He’s Captain of L’apple de L’ocean. He’s looking for a new job for his ship and crew and he’s been known to help transport people as well as cargo. He might take your job, I’ll leave you two to talk it over. Play nice on my docks.” She walks away and Hades looks at Adam with a curious look. He rolls the stone through his fingers and takes a deep breath.

“So she found a french man... Great...” Hades sighs looking around nervously it would seem but Adam can see this man isn’t nervous though he should be in this bar. Though the man’s name and choice to remark on his nationality makes Adam twitch.

“Is that a problem?” He asks and Hades shakes his head, then shrugs.

“Depends, it could be good or bad. are you superstitious?” Hades asks and Adam scoffs shaking his head grinning.

“Most sailors tend to be. Depends... Are you asking if I refuse to go to certain ports and waters, or are you asking if I believe in the Underworld?” Adam asks and Hades glares and his eyes flicker a fiery blue.

“Don’t mock me, Florian, you were cursed to be a Beast, I’ve been to the Moors, that fay was a grudge bearing hypocrite but if you don’t temper that pride you’ll end up pissing off another fay, or someone worse.” Hades growls and Adam straightens in his seat paling. 

“Alright... You’re well informed.” Adam says and Hades chuckles.

“I never forget a name. She was gloating how you’d be doomed to a beast forever as you were such an arrogant ass and now that your appearance matched your heart you’d be beastly forever and blah de dah... I was there for... A vacation from my duties. I’m going there to pick up my daughter. I need your help to go there so I can meet her, and get back safely.” Hades says Adam pursed his lips and leans in.

“You mean to tell me you’re The Hades and what, your daughter is in danger from who, your wife?” Adam asks incredulous and Hades laughs and smiles all white teeth and fire in his eyes. 

“No! Well, yes I am The King of The Underworld, but Perse wouldn’t hurt anyone I care about, not intentionally. Hera on the other hand... I’m married thus she thinks I should look no where but at my wife. She’s a testy one got angry being married to my pig brother. Can’t blame her but I’m already not the favorite in Olympus, I don’t need more reason for them to lash out at me.” Hades says leaning back in his chair his hair spills out of his hood and Adam notes it’s bone white. 

“Alright... Hades... I’ll humor you. I can take you to the Moors. What can we expect if we do catch attention?” Adam asks and Hades looks pale and he shrugs. He looks down and then to the side.

“That I’m afraid I don’t know. I can tell you I don’t want to go out on a ship but Poseidon agreed I could use the seas to hide Mal for a bit as that is his dominion, I just need to tell him the ship he needs to keep afloat. I’m not looking forward to this; I’ve never been out to sea. Only crossed the five Infernal rivers... I might be able to swim but I’ve never enjoyed being on large bodies of water. So my job for you captain is to get me to the Moors, then get me and Mal to Taenarum, well the cape near it... Mal and I can get to the gate I’ll take her through from there.” Hades says and Adam sees the man shift his gaze and clutch tighter to his stone. 

“Hades... Odd to see you here.” A smooth voice says and Adam glanced over to see a large tan man slide into a seat at the table hair a smooth rich brunette and sees how Hades goes rigid. 

“I came to visit Poseidon. So I’m securing a Captain and his ship to get out to sea. He insisted I come and see his newest daughter.” Hades says smooth and nonchalant. Zeus snickers and looks Hades over.

“A bold choice for him, why weren’t you at Olympus when he brought her?” He asks and Adam gets an odd itch to hit the man something in his general demeanor and bearing bothered him. 

“I was away looking into several natural disasters that could lead to an influx to my kingdom. So Adam, I’ve got plenty of wealth to give you and your crew if you could be so kind as to get me out to him?” Hades asks and Adam nods sensing Hades wants out of the conversation.

“Aye we can cast off once my son and quarter master get back after making sure we’re seaworthy. Knowing Lumiere he’ll have the ship ready in the morning and no later unless heaven and hell move to stop him, even then he’s a tenacious man, he’ll get around it.” Adam says rising and Hades nods.

“Then I’ll meet you on the docks later.” He says and Adam nods and leaves hearing bits of the conversation as he goes he can tell Hades is uncomfortable and he almost wants to stay at the least to encourage the other to be some semblance of polite. He hears several remarks on how Hades must not be very welcome here and a few more... Cutting comments on Hades in general.

It’s a couple hours later and Adam is walking back from a tavern further inland after a nice hot meal and some revelry with s few crewmen. He’s sees a few women in rather revealing dresses and passes by not interested in what they’re selling. They flirt with him but none follow, until he passes a darker alley and a lone woman steps out smiling at him with painted rose red lips.

“Hello there handsome... Care for a bit of rest and relaxation?” She purrs and he paused, she’s blocking his path forward and he sighs.

“I’m sorry mademoiselle, but I’ve a heart for only one mistress and that’s the sea. Might I pass?” He asks and she pouts.

“A handsome man like you doesn’t want any company?” She teases moving in closer and Adam moves back to a wall and leans back and away from the woman.

“I’d rather not. I’m not interested I’m afraid, my wife though she passed still holds my heart and interest.” Adam says getting agitated he fights to hold his temper down. He holds his hands up and gently keeps her at arms length.

“Ah, but surely you’ve desires? You’d deny yourself that comfort?” She asks pouting and He grits his teeth.

“Ma’am, I am sorry to tell you but you’d not get a response from me, only my Belle could. If you’ll excuse me I’ve a crew to check on aboard my ship.” Adam says and she pouts and moves back hands sliding to her hips as he turns he doesn’t expect the sudden pain in his shoulder, he bellows in rage some of the lingering Beast comes out in the roar and he turns sharply nails darkening as they lengthen to claws.

“I suggest you halt there Missy, you see I need his help and I’m not above a bit of violence tonight.” Hades says and Adam looks to see the dark stone alight in fire in Hades’ hand Adam snarls as the woman runs off and Hades grabs his arms quenches the flames and pulls Adam along through twisting paths until they’re at the docks. Uma is walking but stops staring at them. Hades speaks first.

“He got stabbed, can you help him?” He asks Uma nods and starts using her rarely used magic to treat the stab first washing it then healing it. Adam relaxes slowly and smiles at her.

“Thank you Uma, and thank you for getting me out of that Hades.” He says Hades shrugs awkward with praise he looks away. Uma helps Adam stand from the barrel he’d been sat on as Hades manhandled him. 

“So, you got uncomfortable need any other help or is it just to the Moors than the little cape of Greece?” Adam asks and Hades sighs.

“Just that... L’appel de L’ocean, right? She’s yours?” Hades asks and Adam grins wide, his kingdom and castle.

“Yes, she’s my soul, Belle’s got my heart unless she wills it to another.” Adam says and Hades paused remembering Adam’s comment to the harlot.

“She was your wife. I’m sorry for your loss.” Hades says and Adam shrugs looking at the gold band at his hand.

“She left this world a couple years ago. No need to feel sorry for me. Just kindly don’t mention it around Ben. He still misses her, I do too I won’t lie but seeing that look on his face isn’t something I like seeing.” Adam says and a man walks up long black hair and a wide grin on his face as he does a spin and flourished bow to Uma then looks at Hades.

“Hello, Dockmaster! Lovely to see you! Alright Hades, you said this was important and Hera can’t find out until you know she can look after herself so... What ship am I paying special attention to?” He asks and Adam realizes this must be Poseidon. 

“L’appel de L’ocean. It’s Adam Florian’s ship.” Hades says gesturing to the Captain and the tall tan man glances to Adam and grins.

“You’re the one that has that white stallion Phillip! Aye you’ve my word the waters will be fine and fair for your voyage. Also I’ll apologize in advance for how terribly Hades is gonna handle this.” Poseidon says and Adam chuckles as Hades shooed the other away.

The next morning Hades is near the ship looking at it nervously and he boards looking unsteady on his feet and the crew all grins and teases good naturally as they bustle about getting the ship  ready to cast off. Adam watches the sick look on Hades only get worse the further they get out until Hades is retching off the side of the ship. 

Adam hands off the wheel to Ben and goes and grabs Hades by the arm and moves him with him as he does several tasks with some of the crew who give sympathetic smiles to Hades who just tries to focus on breathing and some of the things Adam shows him. Eventually Adam has Hades actually walking the ship though he wobbles a bit he isn’t stumbling like he’s drunk and isn’t as constantly sick. 

Ben’s a great help side tracking the god and having him tell him stories of Greek myth and legend though eventually as well studied as Ben is it leads to questions that Hades wanted to avoid. He’d been spinning tales most of the day non-busy crew members would stop and listen making comments on the stories and Hades views on them. Ben grows curious and asks about the Titans and Hades goes green.

“Yes... They exist... Thankfully locked in Tartarus. I...” He turns lurching to the side of the ship and retching gasping as his head and eyes are swimming and the voices in his ears are screaming and the water below isn’t helping it’s dark and he starts shivering. Adam asks Lumiere to make some ginger tea and pulls Hades to his quarters and has him focus on knot work as typically it helped him to focus on something with his hands if he felt unwell. He talks with Hades trying to keep his mind preoccupied and Ben comes down with the tea looking sheepish.

“Don’t worry about it. Bad memories haunt you, it’s the way it is.” Hades says shrugging and Ben nods eyes growing distant and Hades winced and asks if Ben had heard of Icarus and launches into the tale when Ben shakes his head looking curious.

The next few days it’s Hades moving about trying to not get sick and the crew giving him things to do to keep him somewhat okay rather than full blown seasick. It’s only a few more days when Ben decides he’ll start an old song he used to hear constantly. It brings smiles to the crew who join in and soon everyone but Hades and Adam are singing. Eventually the crew and Ben go silent pointedly staring up at Adam who’s at the helm manning the wheel and staring forward. Hades is near him staring at the setting sun though now he’s looking over curious. Adam sighs before taking a deep breath.

“Tout seul, Tu t'en iras tout seul, Coeur ouvert, A l'univers, Poursuis ta quete, Sans regarder derriere, N'attends pas, Que le jour se leve..” Adam sings the crew and Ben smile as they burst into the next verse Adam smiling as he sings along and Hades watches smiling softly himself enjoying the way Adam looks so peaceful though how and why the man loves being out on open water Hades will never understand. The french words sound nice and Hades watches Adam admiring the man as he watches him sing. He can’t stay on his feet the sway of the ship makes him unsteady and he’d learned that just makes him sicker so he sits on a crate and crosses his arms over the banister watching the sun sink into the ocean and listening to the song until he falls asleep smiling. 

Adam later carries the sleeping god to the quarters he’s bunked in and lays him down smiling as a hand snags his the half asleep man mummers something in greek goes bright red and lets him go his eyes going wide as he quickly rolls over and covers his head with his pillow. 

“I’ll just assume it was a compliment.” Adam chuckles and goes to walk out as Hades grumbles into his pillow is hair flickering at the ends with blue flame. “Please don’t light my ship on fire.” He calls shutting the door on a muffled scream into the earlier mentioned pillow.  He chuckles as he goes to his own quarters and Hades smiles softly into the pillow. Maybe, this, wasn’t so bad. Adam laid down and chuckles the misgivings about the job at the starts gone. He almost looks forward to the next couple of days. Both men fall asleep smiling.

[loveofyhwh]

September 3: Job 37–38; 1 Timothy 1; Psalm 60; Proverbs 22:24–25

New Post has been published on https://loveofyhwh.com/september-3-job-37-38-1-timothy-1-psalm-60-proverbs-2224-25/

September 3: Job 37–38; 1 Timothy 1; Psalm 60; Proverbs 22:24–25

Old Testament:

Job 37–38

Job 37–38 (Listen)

Elihu Proclaims God’s Majesty

37   “At this also my heart trembles     and leaps out of its place. 2   Keep listening to the thunder of his voice     and the rumbling that comes from his mouth. 3   Under the whole heaven he lets it go,     and his lightning to the corners of the earth. 4   After it his voice roars;     he thunders with his majestic voice,     and he does not restrain the lightningsHebrew them‘>1 when his voice is heard. 5   God thunders wondrously with his voice;     he does great things that we cannot comprehend. 6   For to the snow he says, ‘Fall on the earth,’     likewise to the downpour, his mighty downpour. 7   He seals up the hand of every man,     that all men whom he made may know it. 8   Then the beasts go into their lairs,     and remain in their dens. 9   From its chamber comes the whirlwind,     and cold from the scattering winds. 10   By the breath of God ice is given,     and the broad waters are frozen fast. 11   He loads the thick cloud with moisture;     the clouds scatter his lightning. 12   They turn around and around by his guidance,     to accomplish all that he commands them     on the face of the habitable world. 13   Whether for correction or for his land     or for love, he causes it to happen. 14   “Hear this, O Job;     stop and consider the wondrous works of God. 15   Do you know how God lays his command upon them     and causes the lightning of his cloud to shine? 16   Do you know the balancingsOr hoverings‘>2 of the clouds,     the wondrous works of him who is perfect in knowledge, 17   you whose garments are hot     when the earth is still because of the south wind? 18   Can you, like him, spread out the skies,     hard as a cast metal mirror? 19   Teach us what we shall say to him;     we cannot draw up our case because of darkness. 20   Shall it be told him that I would speak?     Did a man ever wish that he would be swallowed up? 21   “And now no one looks on the light     when it is bright in the skies,     when the wind has passed and cleared them. 22   Out of the north comes golden splendor;     God is clothed with awesome majesty. 23   The Almighty—we cannot find him;     he is great in power;     justice and abundant righteousness he will not violate. 24   Therefore men fear him;     he does not regard any who are wise in their own conceit.”Hebrew in heart‘>3

The Lord Answers Job

38 Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:

2   “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? 3   Dress for actionHebrew Gird up your loins‘>4 like a man;     I will question you, and you make it known to me. 4   “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?     Tell me, if you have understanding. 5   Who determined its measurements—surely you know!     Or who stretched the line upon it? 6   On what were its bases sunk,     or who laid its cornerstone, 7   when the morning stars sang together     and all the sons of God shouted for joy? 8   “Or who shut in the sea with doors     when it burst out from the womb, 9   when I made clouds its garment     and thick darkness its swaddling band, 10   and prescribed limits for it     and set bars and doors, 11   and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,     and here shall your proud waves be stayed’? 12   “Have you commanded the morning since your days began,     and caused the dawn to know its place, 13   that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth,     and the wicked be shaken out of it? 14   It is changed like clay under the seal,     and its features stand out like a garment. 15   From the wicked their light is withheld,     and their uplifted arm is broken. 16   “Have you entered into the springs of the sea,     or walked in the recesses of the deep? 17   Have the gates of death been revealed to you,     or have you seen the gates of deep darkness? 18   Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth?     Declare, if you know all this. 19   “Where is the way to the dwelling of light,     and where is the place of darkness, 20   that you may take it to its territory     and that you may discern the paths to its home? 21   You know, for you were born then,     and the number of your days is great! 22   “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,     or have you seen the storehouses of the hail, 23   which I have reserved for the time of trouble,     for the day of battle and war? 24   What is the way to the place where the light is distributed,     or where the east wind is scattered upon the earth? 25   “Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain     and a way for the thunderbolt, 26   to bring rain on a land where no man is,     on the desert in which there is no man, 27   to satisfy the waste and desolate land,     and to make the ground sprout with grass? 28   “Has the rain a father,     or who has begotten the drops of dew? 29   From whose womb did the ice come forth,     and who has given birth to the frost of heaven? 30   The waters become hard like stone,     and the face of the deep is frozen. 31   “Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades     or loose the cords of Orion? 32   Can you lead forth the MazzarothProbably the name of a constellation‘>5 in their season,     or can you guide the Bear with its children? 33   Do you know the ordinances of the heavens?     Can you establish their rule on the earth? 34   “Can you lift up your voice to the clouds,     that a flood of waters may cover you? 35   Can you send forth lightnings, that they may go     and say to you, ‘Here we are’? 36   Who has put wisdom in the inward partsOr in the ibis‘>6     or given understanding to the mind?Or rooster‘>7 37   Who can number the clouds by wisdom?     Or who can tilt the waterskins of the heavens, 38   when the dust runs into a mass     and the clods stick fast together? 39   “Can you hunt the prey for the lion,     or satisfy the appetite of the young lions, 40   when they crouch in their dens     or lie in wait in their thicket? 41   Who provides for the raven its prey,     when its young ones cry to God for help,     and wander about for lack of food?

Footnotes

[1] 37:4 Hebrew them [2] 37:16 Or hoverings [3] 37:24 Hebrew in heart [4] 38:3 Hebrew Gird up your loins [5] 38:32 Probably the name of a constellation [6] 38:36 Or in the ibis [7] 38:36 Or rooster

(ESV)

New Testament:

1 Timothy 1

1 Timothy 1 (Listen)

Greeting

1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope,

2 To Timothy, my true child in the faith:

Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

Warning Against False Teachers

3 As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, 4 nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardshipOr good order‘>1 from God that is by faith. 5 The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. 6 Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion, 7 desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions.

8 Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, 9 understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, 10 the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers,That is, those who take someone captive in order to sell him into slavery‘>2 liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to soundOr healthy‘>3 doctrine, 11 in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted.

Christ Jesus Came to Save Sinners

12 I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, 13 though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, 14 and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 15 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. 17 To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever.Greek to the ages of ages‘>4 Amen.

18 This charge I entrust to you, Timothy, my child, in accordance with the prophecies previously made about you, that by them you may wage the good warfare, 19 holding faith and a good conscience. By rejecting this, some have made shipwreck of their faith, 20 among whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.

Footnotes

[1] 1:4 Or good order [2] 1:10 That is, those who take someone captive in order to sell him into slavery [3] 1:10 Or healthy [4] 1:17 Greek to the ages of ages

(ESV)

Psalm:

Psalm 60

Psalm 60 (Listen)

He Will Tread Down Our Foes

To the choirmaster: according to Shushan Eduth. A MiktamProbably musical or liturgical terms‘>1 of David; for instruction; when he strove with Aram-naharaim and with Aram-zobah, and when Joab on his return struck down twelve thousand of Edom in the Valley of Salt.

60   O God, you have rejected us, broken our defenses;     you have been angry; oh, restore us. 2   You have made the land to quake; you have torn it open;     repair its breaches, for it totters. 3   You have made your people see hard things;     you have given us wine to drink that made us stagger. 4   You have set up a banner for those who fear you,     that they may flee to it from the bow.Or that it may be displayed because of truth‘>2 Selah 5   That your beloved ones may be delivered,     give salvation by your right hand and answer us! 6   God has spoken in his holiness:Or sanctuary‘>3     “With exultation I will divide up Shechem     and portion out the Vale of Succoth. 7   Gilead is mine; Manasseh is mine;     Ephraim is my helmet;     Judah is my scepter. 8   Moab is my washbasin;     upon Edom I cast my shoe;     over Philistia I shout in triumph.”Revocalization (compare Psalm 108:10); Masoretic Text over me, O Philistia, shout in triumph‘>4 9   Who will bring me to the fortified city?     Who will lead me to Edom? 10   Have you not rejected us, O God?     You do not go forth, O God, with our armies. 11   Oh, grant us help against the foe,     for vain is the salvation of man! 12   With God we shall do valiantly;     it is he who will tread down our foes.

Footnotes

[1] 60:1 Probably musical or liturgical terms [2] 60:4 Or that it may be displayed because of truth [3] 60:6 Or sanctuary [4] 60:8 Revocalization (compare Psalm 108:10); Masoretic Text over me, O Philistia, shout in triumph

(ESV)

Proverb:

Proverbs 22:24–25

Proverbs 22:24–25 (Listen)

24   Make no friendship with a man given to anger,     nor go with a wrathful man, 25   lest you learn his ways     and entangle yourself in a snare.

(ESV)

[toddlazarski]

Last Suppers

Shepherd Express

“Please let me go ‘round again.”

— John Prine

I thought the apocalypse would be more exciting. Some kind of heaven-sent fireball, a mushroom cloud of malaise, Mad Max dune buggies. In this far off light I’d always pictured myself bearded, barricaded, adroitly philosophical, suddenly quite adept at swinging a sort of spiked bat or other homemade zombie stopper. Instead, so far, some five weeks in, nobody I know has gotten sick. Nobody in my orbit has died. Even being accosted by our neighborhood Jehovah’s Witness on the street, being told of end times and other corporeal human collapses I couldn’t stand or fully hear—being as they were, uttered by a man six feet away, while a two-year-old pent-up from quarantine perched on my shoulders and periodically bonked my head urging movement—took place from a mindful, strangely respectable social distance. 

Mostly these days just find me as an iPhone-glued glut of dissociated dread. A musty sack of torpor filling out ironically-named Champion jogging pants and a Totino’s-stained hoodie crowned by a hastily shaved head. What I’m currently reminded of, for some reason, from somewhere deep within the lizard brain that was weaned on world-end movies, is Deep Impact, and the way it all ends for Tea Leoni’s character: in front of a beloved beachhouse, with brave acceptance, facing truth and demise in the form of an imminent asteroid death, with her—father, maybe? (This recall may be way off, as I only saw the movie once, maybe 20 years ago, but I have a current therapist-mandated pause from internet research as the slightest twitch toward dot com-ing leads inevitably, instantly to a Milla Jovovich in Fifth Element-like doom scroll of terror). Regardless, this is how I view my resignation when being generous: a soft, somber, single tear strong-willed nod and jutted-chin acquiescence. I’ve had my restaurant meals, if they never come again. I’ve had too many, at too many bars. I’ve lived. So, here I am, at the freezer again, my own beloved beachhouse, mustering strength, wondering how much Ben and Jerry’s will pass before life maybe resembles normal again, or else until I see St. Pete, or St. Paul, or whichever is the one at the gates. Measuring the days till Quetzalcoatl in pints of Chunky Monkey. Wondering if I’ll ever again eat Cherry Garcia as a little reward, for a jog and some push ups maybe, instead of a desperate substitute for therapy, lobotomy. My biggest preoccupation is really Instacart deliveries, and the thought of them, the threat of them, where we let the bags sit on the porch like sentinels with tales from the front lines, or like badges of middle class virus-avoidance privilege. We hope the wind cleans off the Corona, I suppose, and then we let the same bags sit inside, eyeing our wares cautiously, suspiciously by the door, weighing the three articles advising cleansing groceries is unnecessary versus the one—always from Medium—that states everything inside a grocery store will likely give you and your grandmother the plague. Then, between the subsequent wiping—of course—and the beginning to plan six days out for the next Instacart delivery, and then the moisturizing of hands out of necessity from washing hands far too much, there has been such a background din of quiet second-coming contemplation. With little to do but wipe the door handle again, with the closest social contact being yet another episode of Cheers, there’s been too much time to think on all this, on all that went, all that was snuffed by a brutal harsh Monday morning reminder—all our kicks, our joys, our dinner plans and drink diversions, all that was maybe never really deserved in the first place.

For one or another—or none at all—reason that I choose to not consider too closely, the last normal weekend in contemporary American existence was a big one. A Friday night trip to Enlightened Brewing to check out Derek Pritzl and the Gamble was a promising prospect, sure. They had recently introduced me to, made me fall deeply in love with, play over and over again, John Prine’s “Speed of the Sound of Loneliness.” Still, as things were, it was largely run-of-the-mill in those distant days of social possibility. Just line up one of a few willing babysitters, jot on the calendar absent-mindedly, leave it peppered, like always, with the growing-old adult notion of if I feel like it. The self-importance of a modern American. The expectation, the world owing me it’s pearls and it’s oysters and it’s artisanal double India Pale Ales, for some reason. There for taking, when we wished. It’s like we were all Mad Men men, coming home from work where you expect your dinner to be waiting, your children cleaned and polite. You did a little bit of work and now you are owed something, the other half of your existence, calm and orderly and “here are your slippers, dear.” Now there is no choosing or taking or rewarding yourself with a night out, or rewarding yourself with a night in. It’s simply like our parents have given us an indefinite timeout, with more whiskey, yes, but also more, much more, morbidity. And also our parents are not coming to our room, eventually, to tell us it will all be ok. Rather, now, they might come, and stand on the sidewalk, while we stand on the front porch awkwardly, not knowing what to do with our hands, with no Easter hugs even considered, and mom might leave sugar cookies in a bag on the sidewalk, as if we were in prison, and she was the jailer that had to slide our sustenance gruel through a slot in the door. Only her said bag came with a real wonder: do we have to disinfect that now? I ran into a friend at Enlightened, then another, then a friend of a friend, and then a work friend—hugs for all the normal tangly tendrils of an adequate social life, amplified by guitars and rollicking songs of regret and craft suds and jocular end-of-week revelry. The band was twangy and driving and jostly, and I wanted it to be louder. Actually my spoiled fragile ego knew I deserved it to be louder. Meanwhile I talked importantly about basketball and somebody told me about their trip to New Orleans. “I’ll be there in a month,” I said. Like an ignoramus, like tempting fate, like I was one of the kids on the playground in Sarah Connor’s nuclear apocalypse nightmare in Terminator 2. There was no Purell in sight, in mind. 

Later, at the Newport, the bartender handed me a beer list, and I didn’t even note that, or contemplate my mortality on the fact, he wasn’t wearing latex gloves. I leaned close, doing the thing you have to do at crowded bars where you wedge between two seated patrons, brush one or both, amplify your voice to the hunched-forward Sam Malone, spittle and open mouths and casual “excuse me, I’m sorry, man” contact with strangers not an issue or thought, let alone transgression against the whole of humanity’s existence. The bummer about the NBA that night was that the Bucks were losing to the Lakers. The saddest part about John Prine was the line: “How can a love that'll last forever, get left so far behind?” What would any of us say, had we knowl—in 5 days the entirety of the NBA machinery would be suddenly halted, a broom handle stuck in the grinding gears? That I would have no chance at seeing live music again, for the foreseeable future? And that, weeks later, due to the same crippling circumstances, John Prine would be dead?  

The next night, somehow, as if acting on some last-chance latent level, I found myself barreling south for a Saturday night in Chicago. I rode a crowded Amtrak. I held the steel handle up the steps, followed along close in line, plopped unworriedly right on the worn blue cloth seat, I ordered a Lyft, I closed a packed bar with out-of-town big-city tenacity. Old friends shared birthday cake in a corner. I flushed a toilet, maybe didn’t wash my hands for a full 20 seconds, poked at the jukebox, clinked glasses, performed once-normal finger and hand functions that would now cause me to douse both extremities to the elbow in alcohol and ask for a light. My buddy and I kept drinking like we were Goodfellas, bound shortly for a stint in the can, which, in hindsight, we sort of were. Then we ordered another Lyft back to his place, like signing the tab on the last real Saturday night. Sunday was disarmingly sunny, soft, pleasant, the kind of warm early spring sliver that catches you off balance, leaves you without the right clothes or your sunglasses. So we sat inside, at the bar at a place called the Moonlighter, where we nursed hangovers with micheladas and shared fiery chicken wings and sloppily severed a grease-dripping American-cheesed burger and shoved it down our gaping gullets and licked fingers and laughed at the bartender’s Nascar sweatshirt, bitched about his lassitude. It was still a day where you could like a bartender or not like a bartender, and you didn’t have to wonder if all bartenders had simply vanished, poof, gone on the wind, Leftovers-style. You could do your drinking business and move on to the next one. Which we did, literally, deciding on pizza and homebrews at a spot called Bungalow that takes—that took—itself probably a bit too seriously. We’ve often fallen into this habit of double lunch-ing, not so much because we are slobs, fat and greedy and gluttonous. And not as some kind of intuitive acknowledgment that we were approaching end times. It also wasn’t just a love of time together, collapsing the 100 miles that separates our lives with a collective unspoken vow of ceaseless Epicureanism. Well, maybe exactly because of all those reasons. Either way we ate, glad they take, took, themselves so seriously with each bite, sip. And I got a pie to go, tucking it under my arm through Union Station, cradling the box like a toddler’s favorite stuffed dinosaur during my ride home nap, a last pepperoni and sausaged vestige from the world of living, togetherness, an experience slice from before we began to view each other as potentially poisonous flowers.        

My final restaurant meal was the day after, at Copper Kitchen, my neighborhood greasy spoon of fluffy omelets and watery coffee that you can never get half down before a refill magically appears tableside. A welcoming diner with video poker, and some staff that still eye me a bit questioningly because I’ve only been coming here for two years, and not 30, like most patrons always around me. By now though, with some work, our regular waitress is beginning to know the score, my daughter and I having seemingly earned the corner booth I always steer her toward. I grab the high chair myself, never need a menu, she orders her own “Mickey Mouse pancakes, please” in an impossibly tiny voice. In many ways, actually, it feels small town-worn, lived-in, like a John Prine song. A surreal slowdown, a place with a cook with a “short order face.” A spot of warm plates and unjudging respite. “If I came home, would you let me in? Fry me some pork chops and forgive my sin?” Our daddy-daughter day this early March Monday was flowing in a far more friendly manner though: another successful trip to the Domes behind us, we had full-stomach cold afternoon warm bed naps ahead. I wanted to tell her some news I was suppressing too, having just briefly talked to my wife on the phone about her recent brief phone call with the doctor. The info was just beginning to gel and bacon-grease coagulate down around my ham and cheese omelet and double-buttered rye. “You’re going to have a sister,” I almost said. Instead I let her eat more bacon, I let the waitress squeeze her arm affectionately as she poured me yet more benign coffee that I would sip and sip until it was time to leave. I didn’t say anything. It wasn’t time yet. But maybe I missed the time. How could I have known, that now, weeks later, Copper Kitchen and restaurants like it, all restaurants, are in real danger of never fully opening again? How was I to know that soon there would be no business anywhere for good news?

[dailychapel]

Lord, I surrender and admit: I can't control people, plans, or even all my circumstances, but I can yield those things to you, and focus on your goodness. Thank you today for every good gift you've given, every blessing you've sent, all the forgiveness I did not deserve, and, yes, for every trial you've allowed into my life. You bring good out of every circumstance if I'll only let go and believe you. I know that when I pray and give thanks instead of worrying, you have promised that I can experience the kind of peace that passes all understanding. That's your kind of peace, Lord. And it's the kind I crave.

[Psa 62:5-9 NKJV] 5 My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation [is] from Him. 6 He only [is] my rock and my salvation; [He is] my defense; I shall not be moved. 7 In God [is] my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, [And] my refuge, [is] in God. 8 Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God [is] a refuge for us. Selah 9 Surely men of low degree [are] a vapor, Men of high degree [are] a lie; If they are weighed on the scales, They [are] altogether [lighter] than vapor.

[Lam 2:8-15 NKJV] 8 The LORD has purposed to destroy The wall of the daughter of Zion. He has stretched out a line; He has not withdrawn His hand from destroying; Therefore He has caused the rampart and wall to lament; They languished together. 9 Her gates have sunk into the ground; He has destroyed and broken her bars. Her king and her princes [are] among the nations; The Law [is] no [more], And her prophets find no vision from the LORD. 10 The elders of the daughter of Zion Sit on the ground [and] keep silence; They throw dust on their heads And gird themselves with sackcloth. The virgins of Jerusalem Bow their heads to the ground. 11 My eyes fail with tears, My heart is troubled; My bile is poured on the ground Because of the destruction of the daughter of my people, Because the children and the infants Faint in the streets of the city. 12 They say to their mothers, "Where [is] grain and wine?" As they swoon like the wounded In the streets of the city, As their life is poured out In their mothers' bosom. 13 How shall I console you? To what shall I liken you, O daughter of Jerusalem? What shall I compare with you, that I may comfort you, O virgin daughter of Zion? For your ruin [is] spread wide as the sea; Who can heal you? 14 Your prophets have seen for you False and deceptive visions; They have not uncovered your iniquity, To bring back your captives, But have envisioned for you false prophecies and delusions. 15 All who pass by clap [their] hands at you; They hiss and shake their heads At the daughter of Jerusalem: "[Is] this the city that is called 'The perfection of beauty, The joy of the whole earth'?"

[2Co 2:1-17 NKJV] 1 But I determined this within myself, that I would not come again to you in sorrow. 2 For if I make you sorrowful, then who is he who makes me glad but the one who is made sorrowful by me? 3 And I wrote this very thing to you, lest, when I came, I should have sorrow over those from whom I ought to have joy, having confidence in you all that my joy is [the joy] of you all. 4 For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you, with many tears, not that you should be grieved, but that you might know the love which I have so abundantly for you. 5 But if anyone has caused grief, he has not grieved me, but all of you to some extent--not to be too severe. 6 This punishment which [was inflicted] by the majority [is] sufficient for such a man, 7 so that, on the contrary, you [ought] rather to forgive and comfort [him], lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. 8 Therefore I urge you to reaffirm [your] love to him. 9 For to this end I also wrote, that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things. 10 Now whom you forgive anything, I also [forgive]. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, 11 lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices. 12 Furthermore, when I came to Troas to [preach] Christ's gospel, and a door was opened to me by the Lord, 13 I had no rest in my spirit, because I did not find Titus my brother; but taking my leave of them, I departed for Macedonia. 14 Now thanks [be] to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. 15 For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. 16 To the one [we are] the aroma of death [leading] to death, and to the other the aroma of life [leading] to life. And who [is] sufficient for these things? 17 For we are not, as so many, peddling the word of God; but as of sincerity, but as from God, we speak in the sight of God in Christ.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

[godsholyword-blog]

Genesis  chapter 19

1---Now the two angels came to Sodom in the evening and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom.  When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them, and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground.

2---And he said,  ‘Here now, my lords, please turn in to your servant’s house and spend the night, and wash your feet;  then you may rise early and go on your way.  And they said,  ‘No, but we will spend the night in the open square.’

3---But he insisted strongly;  so they turned in to him and entered his house.  Then he made a feast, and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.       (Heb. 13:2----Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwillingly entertained angels.)

4---Now before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both old and young, all the people from every quarter, surrounded the house.

5---And they called to Lot and said to him,  ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight?  Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally.’       (Roms. 1:24-27----Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever,  Amen.      For this reason God gave them up to vile passions.  For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.  Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.)

6---So Lot went out to them through the doorway, shut the door behind him,

7---and said,  ‘Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly!,  

8---’See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man;  please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish;  only do nothing to these men, since this the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof.’  (Judges 19:23 & 24----But the man, the master of the house, went out to them and said to them,  ‘No, my brethren!  I beg you, do not act so wickedly.  Seeing this man has come into my house, do not commit this outrage.  ‘Look, here is my virgin daughter and the man’s concubine;  let me bring them out now.  Humble them, and do with them as you please;  but to this man do not such a vile thing!’)

9---And they said,  ‘Stand back!’  Then they said,  ‘This one came in to stay here, and he keeps acting as a judge;  now we will deal worse with you than with them.’  So they pressed hard against the man Lot, and came near to break down the door.

10--But the men reached out their hands and pulled Lot into the house with them, and shut the door.

11--And they struck the men who were at the doorway of the house with blindness, both small and great, so that they became weary trying to find the door.

12--Then the men said to Lot,  ‘Have you anyone else here?  Son-in-law, your sons, your daughters, and whomever you have in the city----take them out of this place!      (2 Pet. 4-9----…... and delivered righteous Lot, who was oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked...…)

13--’For we will destroy this place, because of the outcry against them has grown great before the face of the Lord, and the Lord has sent us to destroy it.’

14--So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who had married his daughters, and said,  ‘Get up, get out of this place;  for the Lord will destroy this city!’  But to his sons-in-law he seemed to be joking.

15--When the morning dawned, the angels urged Lot to hurry, saying,  ‘Arise, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be consumed in the punishment of the city.’

16--And while he lingered, the men took hold of his hand, his wife’s hand, and the hands of his two daughters, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city.

17--So it came to pass, when they had brought them outside, that he said,  ‘Escape for your life!  Do not look behind you nor stay anywhere in the plain.  Escape to the mountains, lest you be destroyed.’

18--Then Lot said to them,  ‘Please, no my lords!

19--’Indeed now, your servant has found favor in your sight, and you have increased your mercy which you have shown me by saving my life;  but I cannot escape to the mountains, lest some evil overtake me and I die.’

20--’See now, this city is near enough to flee to and it is a little one;  please let me escape there  (is it not a little one?)  and my soul shall live.’

21--And he said to him,  ‘See, I have favored you concerning this thing also, in that I will not overthrow this city for which you have spoken.

22--’Hurry, escape there.  For I cannot do anything until you arrive there.’  Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.

23--The sun had risen upon the earth when Lot entered Zoar.

24--Then the Lord rained brimstone and fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, from the Lord out of the heavens.

25--So He overthrew those cities, all the plain, all the inhabitants of the cities, and what grew on the ground.

26--But Lot’s wife looked back behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

27--And Abraham went early in the morning to the place where he had stood before the Lord.

28--Then he looked toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the plain;  and he saw, and behold, the smoke of the land which went up like the smoke of a furnace.

29--And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow when He over threw the cities in which Lot had dwelt.

30--Then Lot went p out of Zoar and dwelt in the mountains and his two daughters were with him:  for he was afraid to dwell in Zoar.  And he and his two daughters dwelt in a cave.

31--Now the firstborn said to the younger,  ‘Our father is old, and there is no man on earth to come in to us as is the custom of all the earth.

32--’Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.’   (Lev. 18:6-18----…..vs 7  The nakedness of your father or the nakedness of your mother you shall not uncover....)

33--So they make their father drink wine that night.  And the firstborn went in and lay with her father, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

34--I happened on the next day that the firstborn said to the younger,  ‘Indeed I lay with my father last night;  let us make him drink wine tonight also, and you go in and lie with him,  that we may preserve the lineage of our father.’

35--Then they make their father drink wine that night also.  And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

36--Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father.

37--The firstborn bore a son and called his name Moab;  he is the father of the Moabites to this day.

38--The younger, she bore a son and called his name Ben-Ammi;  he is the father of the people of Ammon to this day.     (Deut. 23:4----’An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter the assembly of the Lord;  even to the tenth generation.  None of his descendants shall enter the assembly of the Lord forever.)

Lot does as custom spoke and tried to protect his three guests even to the point of giving his daughters for use as the wicked men wished, to no avail.  As the wicked men pushed against Lot to get into his house, he was saved by being pulled into his house and the door barred.                                                               The next morning he was told to get all his family that would go with him and leave immediately from the city.  His two sons refused with their families.  So the three men took hold of him, his wife, and two daughters and led them out of the city and told them to flee to the mountains and not look back.  Lot and his two daughters obeyed, but his wife looked back and was turned to a statue of salt.     After they got to Zoar then Lot’s two daughters did the most heinous thing against their father, and God.  The got him drunk and slept with him so they could ‘have children and carry on their dads lineage.  Bigamy is one of the grossest sins that can be committed by man as is incest.  This comes from the devil no one else.  

God Bless

[raineforever-blog1]

“””The Reality”””

CN: LONG, segmented, oddly narrative post about: changes with me, Bad Bunnies Porn Collective, and whats up with Lillian Fiona // a true story, AKA 'them's which are the breaks'

Trigger warnings posted ahead of each section

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I

⬆️ solution/dissolution ⬇️

[TW: Trauma mention]

about six months ago, i experienced something that changed how i view life and my place in it. these changes started about a year ago, brought on by some combination of who i was at the time, and extreme stress and trauma. it was like a pressure cooker... which i guess means that, while i was just ingredients before- now i have become stew.

that pressure cooker was trauma and memory integration, and me taking a cold hard look at myself and my role in the world. many of you don't know this, but during almost the entire time I've been Lillian Fiona, i had dissociative amnesia, and was in what some would call a DID fugue state, and others would call a demonic invokation.

What even more of you don't know, is that that wasn't the first, but perhaps the seventh or eighth major fugue state I've been in in my life. During each, i would go thru the pattern of amnesia, becoming a new person, remembering, personality destruction, amnesia and rebirth again. This all ended this Summer, and I've been getting used to the changes, adjusting to myself in this new world. Before June, my memories were restricted to 2015-present, and a few years in high school.

When the amnesia happens, sometimes i just forget, other times i have alternate memories disconnected from my physical reality. what was different with Lillian, despite being a stronger force than any of my previous incarnations, is that she was aware that she was not me. she knew she was inhabiting a body that was not hers, that she had no connection to it or its world.

in her memories, she was a demon sent from hell on an anarchic mission to destroy the gates of heaven and hell, and to equalize the stratification of beings in all worlds. It felt like an invocation into an empty body. She checked for a soul, and finding none, thought it was hers to use. But she wasn't sure exactly how to interpret her mission.

Then, in a flash of inspiration, she created the idea of Bad Bunnies Porn Collective, to unite, uplift, and strengthen trans sex workers into an anarcho syndicalist take over of the porn industry. For a while, she believed this must be it. It fit the bill of oppression and liberation that so many of her memories of hell touched on.

Those of you that knew or worked with me during that time, probably sensed this robotic sense of purpose and lack of connection to human emotion in her. Lillian only cared about one thing- completing this mission of creating the collective, leaving in place a means for the lowest rung of stratified society to elevate and and reduce the hold of poverty on those of us that still live in hellish circumstances. It made perfect sense to her mission at the time, and honestly still does to me. except one part.

See, Lillian didn't need people. She didn't need love, self care, sex, friends or partners. She didn't have doubts, get lonely, feel unconfident. All of that was meaningless to her, fluffy stuff meant for humans. She saw only the battle, the mission. In retrospect, i know our body was coursing with adrenaline the whole time, constantly reliving a metaphor of trauma, juxtaposed by my mind over reality, in total crisis mode. This wasn't the first time i had gone thru this, only the most powerful time.

Lillian was also stronger than just about anyone I've ever met. definitely stronger than any of my previous incarnations. This strength she applied to her mission was also applied to herself, eventually. because after a little while, her reality started to break up.

The amnesia was not total- she began to see hints of a soul in this body. Someone who wasn't her, someone human. Memories, phobias, nightmares, unexplained reccuring imagery raised more questions than answers. She started to wonder why she didn't feel emotions, even love, if she dedicated her life to what was essentially an empathetic act of love. she started to search for the answer, because if there was a soul in this body, she couldn't justify using it, even to help so many other people.

She was dissociative. Her mind would blip at random times, and suddenly she'd rip from our shared reality into another world, and would have to live through some story before she could return, like little mini games. often yeilding clues about the truth she sought after so much. So she dove into these dream states when they would come, determined to find the truth, and satisfy her compulsion towards justice.

🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁 🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁 🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁 🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁 🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁 🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁🕳🎁 🕳🎁

II 👁 resolution 👁

[TW: child sexual abuse]

Example: one time while lying in bed with her girlfriend, she suddenly dissociated so quickly that she fell hard on the bed, and found herself in another world: there were mountains, it was Winter, and she was standing in knee high plants. A group of monsters approached her; vampires. They wanted to offer her a deal. She didn't trust them, but, being the extra powerhouse demon that she was, she agreed, to see what she could find.

They descended a dark staircase, where they came to a woman on a stone alter, in bloody birth labor. It was clearly to something horrible; some kind of vampire creature that would take over the body. The vampires wanted us to surrogate this child into physical reality through my body. I don't know what all the metaphors are, but perhaps this was the deeply hidden, so-human urge to choose righteous rage over clear sighted uncertainty. Maybe it would have led us deeper into amnesia and trauma re-enactment. I don't know.

But Lillian declined, noticing a small, scared girl in the corner of the room. She was obviously uncared for, neglected and abused. Afraid. Lillian immediately wanted to save her. She didn't know why, but she knew this was what she came for. She told the vampires that if they would let her have the girl, she would considering birthing their monster into the world. they agreed, Lillian took her, and woke up back in our world.

What's special here, is when she woke up from this dream, that little girl ( her name is Ori), was with her. They both coexisted in my body, a little family. Ori was traumatized, and very sweet. She loved everyone, but scared easily. She had reccurrent flashbacks to  memories Lillian couldn't make sense of. Of being bitten by vampires and made into one of them, which she desperately didn't want to be. She just wanted to be a little girl, not a hateful monster.

Ori's memories were reccurring, and would hit at random. It was always the same- a shrouded figure, much bigger than her, attacking her in bed. Then, the pain and the knowledge that she had been changed forever. Years of despair, hiding in shadows, afraid. And then, of Lillian, and warmth, in 2016.

Seeing it over and over, it began to make sense. The images in this memory & the things that happened were directly tied to phobias and nightmares that had plagued her nights, which she couldn't explain before. They were almost the same as Ori's memories... Hell, vampires, hiding in darkness. Perseverence amid panic. Common themes.

There was a reason Lillian was as intense as she was, why she had that non-stop fire for truth and justice. Why she wasn't afraid to dedicate her life to a task. She was exactly what was needed to stop the cycle of amnesia, rebirth, remembering, and ego death i'd been going through since 1998. My consciousness needed strength it couldn't fathom to set things right, so it summoned the unfathomable- a manic ball of energy focused on truth and justice. I dont pretend to know if Lillian was a DID alter or a demonic version of a guardian angel, though i tend to think of her as the latter.

Just as she used this energy originally for Bad Bunnies, she eventually switched, instead using it searching for me, and drawing me back into this world. She felt she owed it to me. In searching, she found my other incarnations and their memories, getting closer to the truth, and she applied the same logic she used to build the porn collective to my own plural system- that everyone shares power and profits. At one point, there was about a dozen here. You can see them in my old pictures. But not me. I wasn't here yet.

Near the end, she became desperate; all her clues kept leading into something she couldn't predict, which may or may not succeed. An unknown she would wager everything she'd worked for so far. It was a harsh bet, for sure. but she believed in justice, and this meant she could not steal my life from me.

In the end, she gave her life to me.

💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀 🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀 🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀 🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀 🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀🗝️💀 🗝️💀🗝️💀

III 💎 fusion 💎

[TW: Body horror, DID integration]

Around June of this year, she'd found me. My mind is dissociative, and creates worlds for me. it visualizes everything, my feelings and emotions. i used to be able to feel them like health bars on a video game, and sense impending dissocation like a dust storm on the horizon. Like narrative, constant, psychic synaesthesia. i still have this.

And when I was drawn out of that void, i came as a corpse ripped from a dream into a terrible reality. it was this sense of horror in realizing i had been here, unknown and rotting, all along. Like reverse doom- finding there had been hope all along, and i'd slept on it. i remember it clearly: in mid-June the flesh hung from my bones in tatters, my heart was like beef jerky, and reality itself stung like rubbing alcohol. I hated the light (still do, tbh). but Lillian was ecstatic- she'd found me.

During this time, we experienced a flood of memories and emotions that lasted for about 6 weeks. i was laid up in bed, and my room was like a theatre of my life. i remembered everything, it was all i could see- my childhood, coming out as a trans, living on the streets, New York, drugs, violence, and jail, then who i became after, then Lillian. it scared me to realize i'd remembered and forgot living on the streets and New York twice already. I remembered remembering it after forgetting, and then forgetting it again.

i also realized this was not the first time Lillian had been here, it was just the strongest. she'd shown up and changed my life at key points in the past, when i would get a rush of inspiration/action and change my life, all the way back to childhood. At the end of my last major fugue state right before transition, Lillian continually showed up in magical workings, dissociations, dreams, and the dozens of stories he would write back then.

i remembered it all, everything, all the people i'd been. During this remembering, I had Lillian and my previous incarnations- my alters- with me, guiding me. there was more love in that time between us than i'd ever felt with anyone else in my entire life. We were a family, and before they even knew if Lillian was going to bring me back, they built their lives around each other, around loving each other.

i still feel that love, even though they're not here like that anymore. They became me, I'm made of them, built from their love that made us all strong enough to come together to create me and remember the truth. Now I'm a siphonophore.

As each new major memory came thru, we began to see that their memories (of vampires, of hell, of prison, of dying over and over again) were metaphors of my life. their memories were my memories, and as they realized this, they integrated into me, and i would grow. Flesh spread on my bones, blood ran in my veins. My heart grew at a rate that would make Dr Seuss scoff. My corpse-like body started to grow out of death. In the end, only me, Ori, and Lillian remained.

they were real people. i don't mean to suggest they werent, that they were just figments, because that isnt true. They lived here, at different times, sometimes for years.. they had lives, loves, fears. and they each suffered unnecessarily in their own way. And just as with my suffering of hopelessness, theirs was mostly alleviated by this integration. coming together to become me ended their suffering. I feel that every day, and try to live true to myself, so that they didnt give it up in vain. It's easier to love myself when i know it means im loving them.

Lillian knew she'd lose control of the body when it ended. she knew this may mean not completing Bad Bunnies, and leaving this world relatively unchanged. but she knew this was right, because she was nothing if not the embodiment of her own praxis, living true to her beliefs. and to her there was no choice- she could not take my body from me, even to help so many people. It would quite simply be wrong.

she left me notes, instructions, little reminders here and there. i keep them close, read them, and miss her terribly sometimes. but just like the others, she eventually remembered enough, and saw that her mission here was me. That her memories of hell corrosponded with my years of torment, my strongest points of change, growth, and action, corrosponded with times she was strongest in my conscious mind, and therefore she was the one with the power to change it.

Nowadays, i feel her in whispers of my own personality, that may well be more like my own reflections of the most important person i've ever met. I tend to stay scientific for other peoples sake, because any mention of magic can cause whole swaths of your community to disavow your ability to ever see reality.

And so i have this urge to say, yeah, the others selves that i integrated did seem to be born of my experiences, and their alternate memories made perfect metaphors for the memories i'd forgot. it would make sense for her, too. Her previous memories of hell could have been metaphors created by the dissociated mind of a hyper abused child in a hyper religious family, a way to hide the torment. Her mission to destroy the gates of heaven and hell could have been metaphors the hell of the buried memories, the confused Earth of the amnesia, the heaven of the integrated person i would become ( ;) ). It could have been all on the sciency up and up.

but that just doesnt feel right, and it never did. I still dont feel that she was an alter, another version of me. i can feel very plainly that i’m built out of the others. I feel their traits, hopes, loves inside me. They *are* me. i also feel Lillian, her essence and everything she is, amorphous and shifting. I feel similar to her, changed to more closely resemble her, but she is not me. Not exactly. She comes and goes, and right now- has left me in control of the body. Some people beleive in guardian angels, and im ok with that. It would make sense that mine would be a demon.

But sometimes i think: is that it? Did she become me, or just pass the torch? Did i integrate her? Or does she come and go? To me, it makes sense either way. All I know is that she realized her purpose here was me, and that part is now done.

👼🌒💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧

IV 🌊 Raine 🌊

i'm still getting used to this reality, to knowing my truth. i have a lot of memories. They're all mine, but they're mostly created by the others. I feel at once that they are mine, but also whoever was running the body at the time. I feel like i've only existed as me for six months, and its taken me this long to discover who i am, and what i want to be.

i thought at first i could continue like her, and bring bad bunnies into fruition. i thought this because i know i am built of the same stuff as her, but also because it IS a good idea, and would work if it were created, and would help a ton of people. its useful, and it is good.

but im not Lillian. and Lillian, whatever she is, had to be human to be here. She had to use my body. And that constant level of work she put into things, those 14 hour days, took a toll. I've had fibromyalgia for 12 years, but Lillian didn't know that. Our mind dissociated away from it. So she kept going as if it wasnt happening.

Now that she's gone, and perhaps because of the sheer amount of stress she took on, my symptoms and illnesses have become more severe. all of them, it seems, exacerbated by this stress. It's not a question of whether i even can finish the work she started. The question now is, can i cook dinner tonight? can i make it to my next doctors appointment? even sex work seems unnattainable. I know i couldnt finish BB if i wanted to, bc my body would shut down within a few weeks.

But it's not just health. Lillian use to marvel at how other people could exist in their lives, and just play video games, do art, and hang out with their friends and partners while the world burned. but i understand it, very well. They did it for the same reason i want to: because we are human. because we feel, have doubts, and experience love. We all can't be perfect working machines, even in times of duress.

and thats good, if not ideal. the world would be very logical if we all dedicated our lives to fixing it, and thats probably necessary. but we cant force it on any one, or ourselves, and think we are doing right. on some level, the job has to fall on those who are passionate about it and have the power to change it.

I'm no longer than person. I’m not going to be leaving everyone hanging, and I'll be writing out all the major plans and plots of bad bunnies for those who remain, and do my best to give them what they need to finish it, if they do. this is probably an odd, elongated way of telling you (and trust me- the oddness is not lost on me), but i dont know how else to. i still care very much about having a positive impact to those around me, but i want to apply it more personally, rather than a self-sacrificing, all-or-nothing defense of ideas and systems.

To me, the idea of applying this reflection of Lillian in me to the people i care about seems about as close to heaven as i can get. the world outside will probably burn, and its a shame i couldnt do more to help stop that part. but in the end, im just trying to make the best of a world that so often resembles hell, and hopefully make it easier on the people i love, including those still inside me.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

With siphonophoric demon love, ~ Raine & Ori

[fevie168]

Sunday (June 18): "He who eats this bread will live forever"

Scripture: John 6:51-58

51 "I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh." 52 The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, "How can this man give us his flesh to eat?" 53 So Jesus said to them, ", truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; 54 he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. 55 For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. 56 He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. 57 As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever."

Meditation: What is the bread of life which Jesus offers to all who believe in him? It is first of all the life of God himself - life which sustains us not only now in this age but also in the age to come. The Rabbis said that the generation in the wilderness have no part in the life to come. In the Book of Numbers it is recorded that the people who refused to brave the dangers of the promised land were condemned to wander in the wilderness until they died. The Rabbis believed that the father who missed the promised land also missed the life to come. God sustained the Israelites in the wilderness with manna from heaven. This bread foreshadowed the true heavenly bread which Jesus would offer his followers.

Jesus is the "bread of life" Jesus makes a claim only God can make: He is the true bread of heaven that can satisfy the deepest hunger we experience. The manna from heaven prefigured the superabundance of the unique bread of the Eucharist or Lord's Supper which Jesus gave to his disciples on the eve of his sacrifice. The manna in the wilderness sustained the Israelites on their journey to the Promised Land. It could not produce eternal life for the Israelites. The bread which Jesus offers his disciples sustains us not only on our journey to the heavenly paradise, it gives us the abundant supernatural life of God which sustains us for all eternity.

The food that makes us live forever Jesus chose the time of the Jewish Feast of Passover to fulfill what he had announced at Capernaum - giving his disciples his body and his blood as the true bread of heaven. Jesus' passing over to his Father by his death and resurrection - the new passover - is anticipated in the Last Supper and celebrated in the Eucharist or Lord's Supper, which fulfills the Jewish Passover and anticipates the final Passover of the church in the glory of God's kingdom. When the Lord Jesus commands his disciples to eat his flesh and drink his blood, he invites us to take his life into the very center of our being. That life which he offers is the very life of God himself.

Do you hunger for the "bread of life"? Jesus offers us the abundant supernatural life of heaven itself - but we can miss it or even refuse it. To refuse Jesus is to refuse eternal life, unending life with the Heavenly Father. To accept Jesus as the bread of heaven is not only life and spiritual nourishment for this world but glory in the world to come.

When we receive from the Lord's table we unite ourselves to Jesus Christ, who makes us sharers in his body and blood and partakers of his divine life. Ignatius of Antioch (35-107 A.D.) calls it the "one bread that provides the medicine of immortality, the antidote for death, and the food that makes us live for ever in Jesus Christ" (Ad Eph. 20,2). This supernatural food is healing for both body and soul and strength for our journey heavenward.

When you approach the Table of the Lord, what do you expect to receive? Healing, pardon, comfort, and rest for your soul? The Lord has much more for us, more than we can ask or imagine. The principal fruit of receiving the Eucharist or Lord's Supper is an intimate union with Christ. As bodily nourishment restores lost strength, so the Eucharist strengthens us in charity and enables us to break with disordered attachments to creatures and to be more firmly rooted in the love of Christ. Do you hunger for the "bread of life"?

"Lord Jesus, you nourish and sustain us with your very own presence and life-giving word. You are the bread of life - the heavenly food that sustains us now and that produces everlasting life within us. May I always hunger for you and be satisfied in you alone."

Psalm 147:12-15,19-20

12 Praise the LORD, O Jerusalem! Praise your God, O Zion! 13 For he strengthens the bars of your gates; he blesses your sons within you. 14 He makes peace in your borders; he fills you with the finest of the wheat. 15 He sends forth his command to the earth; his word runs swiftly. 19 He declares his word to Jacob, his statutes and ordinances to Israel. 20 He has not dealt thus with any other nation; they do not know his ordinances. Praise the LORD!

Daily Quote from the early church fathers: Let faith confirm you, by Cyril of Jerusalem, 315-386 A.D.

"Failing to understand his words spiritually, [the Jews] were offended and drew back, thinking that the Savior was urging them to cannibalism. Then again in the old covenant there was the showbread. But that, since it belonged to the old covenant, has come to an end. In the new covenant there are the bread of heaven and the cup of salvation, which sanctify body and soul. For as bread corresponds to the body, so the Word is appropriate to the soul. So do not think of them as mere bread and wine. In accordance with the Lord's declaration, they are body and blood. And if our senses suggests otherwise, let faith confirm you. Do not judge the issue on the basis of taste, but on the basis of faith be assured beyond all doubt that you have been allowed to receive the body and blood of Christ. (excerpt from

MYSTAGOGICAL LECTURES 4.4–6

)

[dailyofficereadings]

Daily Office Readings April 08, 2020

Psalm 55

Psalm 55

Complaint about a Friend’s Treachery

To the leader: with stringed instruments. A Maskil of David.

1 Give ear to my prayer, O God; do not hide yourself from my supplication. 2 Attend to me, and answer me; I am troubled in my complaint. I am distraught 3 by the noise of the enemy, because of the clamor of the wicked. For they bring[a] trouble upon me, and in anger they cherish enmity against me.

4 My heart is in anguish within me, the terrors of death have fallen upon me. 5 Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me. 6 And I say, “O that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; 7 truly, I would flee far away; I would lodge in the wilderness;Selah 8 I would hurry to find a shelter for myself from the raging wind and tempest.”

9 Confuse, O Lord, confound their speech; for I see violence and strife in the city. 10 Day and night they go around it on its walls, and iniquity and trouble are within it; 11 ruin is in its midst; oppression and fraud do not depart from its marketplace.

12 It is not enemies who taunt me— I could bear that; it is not adversaries who deal insolently with me— I could hide from them. 13 But it is you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend, 14 with whom I kept pleasant company; we walked in the house of God with the throng. 15 Let death come upon them; let them go down alive to Sheol; for evil is in their homes and in their hearts.

16 But I call upon God, and the Lord will save me. 17 Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he will hear my voice. 18 He will redeem me unharmed from the battle that I wage, for many are arrayed against me. 19 God, who is enthroned from of old,Selah will hear, and will humble them— because they do not change, and do not fear God.

20 My companion laid hands on a friend and violated a covenant with me[b] 21 with speech smoother than butter, but with a heart set on war; with words that were softer than oil, but in fact were drawn swords.

22 Cast your burden[c] on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

23 But you, O God, will cast them down into the lowest pit; the bloodthirsty and treacherous shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in you.

Footnotes:

Psalm 55:3 Cn Compare Gk: Heb they cause to totter

Psalm 55:20 Heb lacks with me

Psalm 55:22 Or Cast what he has given you

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Psalm 74

Psalm 74

Plea for Help in Time of National Humiliation

A Maskil of Asaph.

1 O God, why do you cast us off forever? Why does your anger smoke against the sheep of your pasture? 2 Remember your congregation, which you acquired long ago, which you redeemed to be the tribe of your heritage. Remember Mount Zion, where you came to dwell. 3 Direct your steps to the perpetual ruins; the enemy has destroyed everything in the sanctuary.

4 Your foes have roared within your holy place; they set up their emblems there. 5 At the upper entrance they hacked the wooden trellis with axes.[a] 6 And then, with hatchets and hammers, they smashed all its carved work. 7 They set your sanctuary on fire; they desecrated the dwelling place of your name, bringing it to the ground. 8 They said to themselves, “We will utterly subdue them”; they burned all the meeting places of God in the land.

9 We do not see our emblems; there is no longer any prophet, and there is no one among us who knows how long. 10 How long, O God, is the foe to scoff? Is the enemy to revile your name forever? 11 Why do you hold back your hand; why do you keep your hand in[b] your bosom?

12 Yet God my King is from of old, working salvation in the earth. 13 You divided the sea by your might; you broke the heads of the dragons in the waters. 14 You crushed the heads of Leviathan; you gave him as food[c] for the creatures of the wilderness. 15 You cut openings for springs and torrents; you dried up ever-flowing streams. 16 Yours is the day, yours also the night; you established the luminaries[d] and the sun. 17 You have fixed all the bounds of the earth; you made summer and winter.

18 Remember this, O Lord, how the enemy scoffs, and an impious people reviles your name. 19 Do not deliver the soul of your dove to the wild animals; do not forget the life of your poor forever.

20 Have regard for your[e] covenant, for the dark places of the land are full of the haunts of violence. 21 Do not let the downtrodden be put to shame; let the poor and needy praise your name. 22 Rise up, O God, plead your cause; remember how the impious scoff at you all day long. 23 Do not forget the clamor of your foes, the uproar of your adversaries that goes up continually.

Footnotes:

Psalm 74:5 Cn Compare Gk Syr: Meaning of Heb uncertain

Psalm 74:11 Cn: Heb do you consume your right hand from

Psalm 74:14 Heb food for the people

Psalm 74:16 Or moon; Heb light

Psalm 74:20 Gk Syr: Heb the

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Lamentations 2:1-9

God’s Warnings Fulfilled

2 How the Lord in his anger has humiliated[a] daughter Zion! He has thrown down from heaven to earth the splendor of Israel; he has not remembered his footstool in the day of his anger.

2 The Lord has destroyed without mercy all the dwellings of Jacob; in his wrath he has broken down the strongholds of daughter Judah; he has brought down to the ground in dishonor the kingdom and its rulers.

3 He has cut down in fierce anger all the might of Israel; he has withdrawn his right hand from them in the face of the enemy; he has burned like a flaming fire in Jacob, consuming all around.

4 He has bent his bow like an enemy, with his right hand set like a foe; he has killed all in whom we took pride in the tent of daughter Zion; he has poured out his fury like fire.

5 The Lord has become like an enemy; he has destroyed Israel. He has destroyed all its palaces, laid in ruins its strongholds, and multiplied in daughter Judah mourning and lamentation.

6 He has broken down his booth like a garden, he has destroyed his tabernacle; the Lord has abolished in Zion festival and sabbath, and in his fierce indignation has spurned king and priest.

7 The Lord has scorned his altar, disowned his sanctuary; he has delivered into the hand of the enemy the walls of her palaces; a clamor was raised in the house of the Lord as on a day of festival.

8 The Lord determined to lay in ruins the wall of daughter Zion; he stretched the line; he did not withhold his hand from destroying; he caused rampart and wall to lament; they languish together.

9 Her gates have sunk into the ground; he has ruined and broken her bars; her king and princes are among the nations; guidance is no more, and her prophets obtain no vision from the Lord.

Footnotes:

Lamentations 2:1 Meaning of Heb uncertain

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Lamentations 2:14-17

14 Your prophets have seen for you false and deceptive visions; they have not exposed your iniquity to restore your fortunes, but have seen oracles for you that are false and misleading.

15 All who pass along the way clap their hands at you; they hiss and wag their heads at daughter Jerusalem; “Is this the city that was called the perfection of beauty, the joy of all the earth?”

16 All your enemies open their mouths against you; they hiss, they gnash their teeth, they cry: “We have devoured her! Ah, this is the day we longed for; at last we have seen it!”

17 The Lord has done what he purposed, he has carried out his threat; as he ordained long ago, he has demolished without pity; he has made the enemy rejoice over you, and exalted the might of your foes.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

2 Corinthians 1:23-2:11

23 But I call on God as witness against me: it was to spare you that I did not come again to Corinth. 24 I do not mean to imply that we lord it over your faith; rather, we are workers with you for your joy, because you stand firm in the faith. 2 1 So I made up my mind not to make you another painful visit. 2 For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? 3 And I wrote as I did, so that when I came, I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice; for I am confident about all of you, that my joy would be the joy of all of you. 4 For I wrote you out of much distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain, but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.

Forgiveness for the Offender

5 But if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but to some extent—not to exaggerate it—to all of you. 6 This punishment by the majority is enough for such a person; 7 so now instead you should forgive and console him, so that he may not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 So I urge you to reaffirm your love for him. 9 I wrote for this reason: to test you and to know whether you are obedient in everything. 10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ. 11 And we do this so that we may not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Mark 12:1-11

The Parable of the Wicked Tenants

12 Then he began to speak to them in parables. “A man planted a vineyard, put a fence around it, dug a pit for the wine press, and built a watchtower; then he leased it to tenants and went to another country. 2 When the season came, he sent a slave to the tenants to collect from them his share of the produce of the vineyard. 3 But they seized him, and beat him, and sent him away empty-handed. 4 And again he sent another slave to them; this one they beat over the head and insulted. 5 Then he sent another, and that one they killed. And so it was with many others; some they beat, and others they killed. 6 He had still one other, a beloved son. Finally he sent him to them, saying, ‘They will respect my son.’ 7 But those tenants said to one another, ‘This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.’ 8 So they seized him, killed him, and threw him out of the vineyard. 9 What then will the owner of the vineyard do? He will come and destroy the tenants and give the vineyard to others. 10 Have you not read this scripture:

‘The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone;[a] 11 this was the Lord’s doing, and it is amazing in our eyes’?”

Footnotes:

Mark 12:10 Or keystone

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

[dailyofficereadings]

Daily Office Readings February 20, 2020 at 11:00PM

Psalm 102

Psalm 102

Prayer to the Eternal King for Help

A prayer of one afflicted, when faint and pleading before the Lord.

1 Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you. 2 Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress. Incline your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call.

3 For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace. 4 My heart is stricken and withered like grass; I am too wasted to eat my bread. 5 Because of my loud groaning my bones cling to my skin. 6 I am like an owl of the wilderness, like a little owl of the waste places. 7 I lie awake; I am like a lonely bird on the housetop. 8 All day long my enemies taunt me; those who deride me use my name for a curse. 9 For I eat ashes like bread, and mingle tears with my drink, 10 because of your indignation and anger; for you have lifted me up and thrown me aside. 11 My days are like an evening shadow; I wither away like grass.

12 But you, O Lord, are enthroned forever; your name endures to all generations. 13 You will rise up and have compassion on Zion, for it is time to favor it; the appointed time has come. 14 For your servants hold its stones dear, and have pity on its dust. 15 The nations will fear the name of the Lord, and all the kings of the earth your glory. 16 For the Lord will build up Zion; he will appear in his glory. 17 He will regard the prayer of the destitute, and will not despise their prayer.

18 Let this be recorded for a generation to come, so that a people yet unborn may praise the Lord: 19 that he looked down from his holy height, from heaven the Lord looked at the earth, 20 to hear the groans of the prisoners, to set free those who were doomed to die; 21 so that the name of the Lord may be declared in Zion, and his praise in Jerusalem, 22 when peoples gather together, and kingdoms, to worship the Lord.

23 He has broken my strength in midcourse; he has shortened my days. 24 “O my God,” I say, “do not take me away at the midpoint of my life, you whose years endure throughout all generations.”

25 Long ago you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. 26 They will perish, but you endure; they will all wear out like a garment. You change them like clothing, and they pass away; 27 but you are the same, and your years have no end. 28 The children of your servants shall live secure; their offspring shall be established in your presence.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Psalm 107:1-32

BOOK V

(Psalms 107–150)

Psalm 107

Thanksgiving for Deliverance from Many Troubles

1 O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever. 2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, those he redeemed from trouble 3 and gathered in from the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the south.[a]

4 Some wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to an inhabited town; 5 hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted within them. 6 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress; 7 he led them by a straight way, until they reached an inhabited town. 8 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wonderful works to humankind. 9 For he satisfies the thirsty, and the hungry he fills with good things.

10 Some sat in darkness and in gloom, prisoners in misery and in irons, 11 for they had rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High. 12 Their hearts were bowed down with hard labor; they fell down, with no one to help. 13 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress; 14 he brought them out of darkness and gloom, and broke their bonds asunder. 15 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wonderful works to humankind. 16 For he shatters the doors of bronze, and cuts in two the bars of iron.

17 Some were sick[b] through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities endured affliction; 18 they loathed any kind of food, and they drew near to the gates of death. 19 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress; 20 he sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from destruction. 21 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wonderful works to humankind. 22 And let them offer thanksgiving sacrifices, and tell of his deeds with songs of joy.

23 Some went down to the sea in ships, doing business on the mighty waters; 24 they saw the deeds of the Lord, his wondrous works in the deep. 25 For he commanded and raised the stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea. 26 They mounted up to heaven, they went down to the depths; their courage melted away in their calamity; 27 they reeled and staggered like drunkards, and were at their wits’ end. 28 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out from their distress; 29 he made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. 30 Then they were glad because they had quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven. 31 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wonderful works to humankind. 32 Let them extol him in the congregation of the people, and praise him in the assembly of the elders.

Footnotes:

Psalm 107:3 Cn: Heb sea

Psalm 107:17 Cn: Heb fools

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Genesis 32:22-33:17

Jacob Wrestles at Peniel

22 The same night he got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had. 24 Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, “Let me go, for the day is breaking.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” 27 So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” 28 Then the man[a] said, “You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel,[b] for you have striven with God and with humans,[c] and have prevailed.” 29 Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel,[d] saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.” 31 The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the thigh muscle that is on the hip socket, because he struck Jacob on the hip socket at the thigh muscle.

Jacob and Esau Meet

33 Now Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. 2 He put the maids with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. 3 He himself went on ahead of them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near his brother.

4 But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. 5 When Esau looked up and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” 6 Then the maids drew near, they and their children, and bowed down; 7 Leah likewise and her children drew near and bowed down; and finally Joseph and Rachel drew near, and they bowed down. 8 Esau said, “What do you mean by all this company that I met?” Jacob answered, “To find favor with my lord.” 9 But Esau said, “I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.” 10 Jacob said, “No, please; if I find favor with you, then accept my present from my hand; for truly to see your face is like seeing the face of God—since you have received me with such favor. 11 Please accept my gift that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have everything I want.” So he urged him, and he took it.

12 Then Esau said, “Let us journey on our way, and I will go alongside you.” 13 But Jacob said to him, “My lord knows that the children are frail and that the flocks and herds, which are nursing, are a care to me; and if they are overdriven for one day, all the flocks will die. 14 Let my lord pass on ahead of his servant, and I will lead on slowly, according to the pace of the cattle that are before me and according to the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.”

15 So Esau said, “Let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.” But he said, “Why should my lord be so kind to me?” 16 So Esau returned that day on his way to Seir. 17 But Jacob journeyed to Succoth,[e] and built himself a house, and made booths for his cattle; therefore the place is called Succoth.

Footnotes:

Genesis 32:28 Heb he

Genesis 32:28 That is The one who strives with God or God strives

Genesis 32:28 Or with divine and human beings

Genesis 32:30 That is The face of God

Genesis 33:17 That is Booths

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

1 John 3:1-10

3 1 See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed. What we do know is this: when he[a] is revealed, we will be like him, for we will see him as he is. 3 And all who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

4 Everyone who commits sin is guilty of lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. 5 You know that he was revealed to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. 6 No one who abides in him sins; no one who sins has either seen him or known him. 7 Little children, let no one deceive you. Everyone who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. 8 Everyone who commits sin is a child of the devil; for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The Son of God was revealed for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil. 9 Those who have been born of God do not sin, because God’s seed abides in them;[b] they cannot sin, because they have been born of God. 10 The children of God and the children of the devil are revealed in this way: all who do not do what is right are not from God, nor are those who do not love their brothers and sisters.[c]

Footnotes:

1 John 3:2 Or it

1 John 3:9 Or because the children of God abide in him

1 John 3:10 Gk his brother

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

John 10:31-42

31 The Jews took up stones again to stone him. 32 Jesus replied, “I have shown you many good works from the Father. For which of these are you going to stone me?” 33 The Jews answered, “It is not for a good work that we are going to stone you, but for blasphemy, because you, though only a human being, are making yourself God.” 34 Jesus answered, “Is it not written in your law,[a] ‘I said, you are gods’? 35 If those to whom the word of God came were called ‘gods’—and the scripture cannot be annulled— 36 can you say that the one whom the Father has sanctified and sent into the world is blaspheming because I said, ‘I am God’s Son’? 37 If I am not doing the works of my Father, then do not believe me. 38 But if I do them, even though you do not believe me, believe the works, so that you may know and understand[b] that the Father is in me and I am in the Father.” 39 Then they tried to arrest him again, but he escaped from their hands.

40 He went away again across the Jordan to the place where John had been baptizing earlier, and he remained there. 41 Many came to him, and they were saying, “John performed no sign, but everything that John said about this man was true.” 42 And many believed in him there.

Footnotes:

John 10:34 Other ancient authorities read in the law

John 10:38 Other ancient authorities lack and understand; others read and believe

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

[dailyofficereadings]

Daily Office Readings November 27, 2019 at 11:00PM

Psalm 147

Psalm 147

Praise for God’s Care for Jerusalem

1 Praise the Lord! How good it is to sing praises to our God; for he is gracious, and a song of praise is fitting. 2 The Lord builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the outcasts of Israel. 3 He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds. 4 He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. 5 Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure. 6 The Lord lifts up the downtrodden; he casts the wicked to the ground.

7 Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; make melody to our God on the lyre. 8 He covers the heavens with clouds, prepares rain for the earth, makes grass grow on the hills. 9 He gives to the animals their food, and to the young ravens when they cry. 10 His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor his pleasure in the speed of a runner;[a] 11 but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.

12 Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem! Praise your God, O Zion! 13 For he strengthens the bars of your gates; he blesses your children within you. 14 He grants peace[b] within your borders; he fills you with the finest of wheat. 15 He sends out his command to the earth; his word runs swiftly. 16 He gives snow like wool; he scatters frost like ashes. 17 He hurls down hail like crumbs— who can stand before his cold? 18 He sends out his word, and melts them; he makes his wind blow, and the waters flow. 19 He declares his word to Jacob, his statutes and ordinances to Israel. 20 He has not dealt thus with any other nation; they do not know his ordinances. Praise the Lord!

Footnotes:

Psalm 147:10 Heb legs of a person

Psalm 147:14 Or prosperity

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Deuteronomy 26:1-11

First Fruits and Tithes

26 When you have come into the land that the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance to possess, and you possess it, and settle in it, 2 you shall take some of the first of all the fruit of the ground, which you harvest from the land that the Lord your God is giving you, and you shall put it in a basket and go to the place that the Lord your God will choose as a dwelling for his name. 3 You shall go to the priest who is in office at that time, and say to him, “Today I declare to the Lord your God that I have come into the land that the Lord swore to our ancestors to give us.” 4 When the priest takes the basket from your hand and sets it down before the altar of the Lord your God, 5 you shall make this response before the Lord your God: “A wandering Aramean was my ancestor; he went down into Egypt and lived there as an alien, few in number, and there he became a great nation, mighty and populous. 6 When the Egyptians treated us harshly and afflicted us, by imposing hard labor on us, 7 we cried to the Lord, the God of our ancestors; the Lord heard our voice and saw our affliction, our toil, and our oppression. 8 The Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, with a terrifying display of power, and with signs and wonders; 9 and he brought us into this place and gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey. 10 So now I bring the first of the fruit of the ground that you, O Lord, have given me.” You shall set it down before the Lord your God and bow down before the Lord your God. 11 Then you, together with the Levites and the aliens who reside among you, shall celebrate with all the bounty that the Lord your God has given to you and to your house.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

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John 6:26-35

26 Jesus answered them, “Very truly, I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. 27 Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For it is on him that God the Father has set his seal.” 28 Then they said to him, “What must we do to perform the works of God?” 29 Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.” 30 So they said to him, “What sign are you going to give us then, so that we may see it and believe you? What work are you performing? 31 Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’” 32 Then Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is that which[a] comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” 34 They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.”

35 Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

Footnotes:

John 6:33 Or he who

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Psalm 145

Psalm 145

The Greatness and the Goodness of God

Praise. Of David.

1 I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. 2 Every day I will bless you, and praise your name forever and ever. 3 Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; his greatness is unsearchable.

4 One generation shall laud your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. 5 On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate. 6 The might of your awesome deeds shall be proclaimed, and I will declare your greatness. 7 They shall celebrate the fame of your abundant goodness, and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

8 The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. 9 The Lord is good to all, and his compassion is over all that he has made.

10 All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord, and all your faithful shall bless you. 11 They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom, and tell of your power, 12 to make known to all people your[a] mighty deeds, and the glorious splendor of your[b] kingdom. 13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures throughout all generations.

The Lord is faithful in all his words, and gracious in all his deeds.[c] 14 The Lord upholds all who are falling, and raises up all who are bowed down. 15 The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. 16 You open your hand, satisfying the desire of every living thing. 17 The Lord is just in all his ways, and kind in all his doings. 18 The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. 19 He fulfills the desire of all who fear him; he also hears their cry, and saves them. 20 The Lord watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.

21 My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord, and all flesh will bless his holy name forever and ever.

Footnotes:

Psalm 145:12 Gk Jerome Syr: Heb his

Psalm 145:12 Heb his

Psalm 145:13 These two lines supplied by Q Ms Gk Syr

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-24

Final Exhortations, Greetings, and Benediction

12 But we appeal to you, brothers and sisters,[a] to respect those who labor among you, and have charge of you in the Lord and admonish you; 13 esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. 14 And we urge you, beloved,[b] to admonish the idlers, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all of them. 15 See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise the words of prophets,[c] 21 but test everything; hold fast to what is good; 22 abstain from every form of evil.

23 May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound[d] and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do this.

Footnotes:

1 Thessalonians 5:12 Gk brothers

1 Thessalonians 5:14 Gk brothers

1 Thessalonians 5:20 Gk despise prophecies

1 Thessalonians 5:23 Or complete

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

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[dailyofficereadings]

Daily Office Readings October 14, 2018

Psalm 146-147

Psalm 146

Praise for God’s Help

1 Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, O my soul! 2 I will praise the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God all my life long.

3 Do not put your trust in princes, in mortals, in whom there is no help. 4 When their breath departs, they return to the earth; on that very day their plans perish.

5 Happy are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God, 6 who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them; who keeps faith forever; 7 who executes justice for the oppressed; who gives food to the hungry.

The Lord sets the prisoners free; 8 the Lord opens the eyes of the blind. The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down; the Lord loves the righteous. 9 The Lord watches over the strangers; he upholds the orphan and the widow, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.

10 The Lord will reign forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations. Praise the Lord!

Psalm 147

Praise for God’s Care for Jerusalem

1 Praise the Lord! How good it is to sing praises to our God; for he is gracious, and a song of praise is fitting. 2 The Lord builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the outcasts of Israel. 3 He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds. 4 He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. 5 Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure. 6 The Lord lifts up the downtrodden; he casts the wicked to the ground.

7 Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; make melody to our God on the lyre. 8 He covers the heavens with clouds, prepares rain for the earth, makes grass grow on the hills. 9 He gives to the animals their food, and to the young ravens when they cry. 10 His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor his pleasure in the speed of a runner;[a] 11 but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.

12 Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem! Praise your God, O Zion! 13 For he strengthens the bars of your gates; he blesses your children within you. 14 He grants peace[b] within your borders; he fills you with the finest of wheat. 15 He sends out his command to the earth; his word runs swiftly. 16 He gives snow like wool; he scatters frost like ashes. 17 He hurls down hail like crumbs— who can stand before his cold? 18 He sends out his word, and melts them; he makes his wind blow, and the waters flow. 19 He declares his word to Jacob, his statutes and ordinances to Israel. 20 He has not dealt thus with any other nation; they do not know his ordinances. Praise the Lord!

Footnotes:

Psalm 147:10 Heb legs of a person

Psalm 147:14 Or prosperity

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Psalm 111-113

Psalm 111

Praise for God’s Wonderful Works

1 Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart, in the company of the upright, in the congregation. 2 Great are the works of the Lord, studied by all who delight in them. 3 Full of honor and majesty is his work, and his righteousness endures forever. 4 He has gained renown by his wonderful deeds; the Lord is gracious and merciful. 5 He provides food for those who fear him; he is ever mindful of his covenant. 6 He has shown his people the power of his works, in giving them the heritage of the nations. 7 The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy. 8 They are established forever and ever, to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness. 9 He sent redemption to his people; he has commanded his covenant forever. Holy and awesome is his name. 10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it[a] have a good understanding. His praise endures forever.

Psalm 112

Blessings of the Righteous

1 Praise the Lord! Happy are those who fear the Lord, who greatly delight in his commandments. 2 Their descendants will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches are in their houses, and their righteousness endures forever. 4 They rise in the darkness as a light for the upright; they are gracious, merciful, and righteous. 5 It is well with those who deal generously and lend, who conduct their affairs with justice. 6 For the righteous will never be moved; they will be remembered forever. 7 They are not afraid of evil tidings; their hearts are firm, secure in the Lord. 8 Their hearts are steady, they will not be afraid; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes. 9 They have distributed freely, they have given to the poor; their righteousness endures forever; their horn is exalted in honor. 10 The wicked see it and are angry; they gnash their teeth and melt away; the desire of the wicked comes to nothing.

Psalm 113

God the Helper of the Needy

1 Praise the Lord! Praise, O servants of the Lord; praise the name of the Lord.

2 Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time on and forevermore. 3 From the rising of the sun to its setting the name of the Lord is to be praised. 4 The Lord is high above all nations, and his glory above the heavens.

5 Who is like the Lord our God, who is seated on high, 6 who looks far down on the heavens and the earth? 7 He raises the poor from the dust, and lifts the needy from the ash heap, 8 to make them sit with princes, with the princes of his people. 9 He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!

Footnotes:

Psalm 111:10 Gk Syr: Heb them

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Micah 6:1-8

God Challenges Israel

6 Hear what the Lord says: Rise, plead your case before the mountains, and let the hills hear your voice. 2 Hear, you mountains, the controversy of the Lord, and you enduring foundations of the earth; for the Lord has a controversy with his people, and he will contend with Israel.

3 “O my people, what have I done to you? In what have I wearied you? Answer me! 4 For I brought you up from the land of Egypt, and redeemed you from the house of slavery; and I sent before you Moses, Aaron, and Miriam. 5 O my people, remember now what King Balak of Moab devised, what Balaam son of Beor answered him, and what happened from Shittim to Gilgal, that you may know the saving acts of the Lord.”

What God Requires

6 “With what shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before God on high? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? 7 Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousands of rivers of oil? Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?” 8 He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

1 Corinthians 4:9-16

9 For I think that God has exhibited us apostles as last of all, as though sentenced to death, because we have become a spectacle to the world, to angels and to mortals. 10 We are fools for the sake of Christ, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are held in honor, but we in disrepute. 11 To the present hour we are hungry and thirsty, we are poorly clothed and beaten and homeless, 12 and we grow weary from the work of our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; 13 when slandered, we speak kindly. We have become like the rubbish of the world, the dregs of all things, to this very day.

Fatherly Admonition

14 I am not writing this to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. 15 For though you might have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers. Indeed, in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. 16 I appeal to you, then, be imitators of me.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Matthew 15:21-28

The Canaanite Woman’s Faith

21 Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22 Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon.” 23 But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, “Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us.” 24 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” 25 But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” 26 He answered, “It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” 27 She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” 28 Then Jesus answered her, “Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed instantly.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

[dailyofficereadings]

Daily Office Readings November 22, 2017 at 11:00PM

Psalm 147

Psalm 147

Praise for God’s Care for Jerusalem

1 Praise the Lord! How good it is to sing praises to our God; for he is gracious, and a song of praise is fitting. 2 The Lord builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the outcasts of Israel. 3 He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds. 4 He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. 5 Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure. 6 The Lord lifts up the downtrodden; he casts the wicked to the ground.

7 Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; make melody to our God on the lyre. 8 He covers the heavens with clouds, prepares rain for the earth, makes grass grow on the hills. 9 He gives to the animals their food, and to the young ravens when they cry. 10 His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor his pleasure in the speed of a runner;[a] 11 but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.

12 Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem! Praise your God, O Zion! 13 For he strengthens the bars of your gates; he blesses your children within you. 14 He grants peace[b] within your borders; he fills you with the finest of wheat. 15 He sends out his command to the earth; his word runs swiftly. 16 He gives snow like wool; he scatters frost like ashes. 17 He hurls down hail like crumbs— who can stand before his cold? 18 He sends out his word, and melts them; he makes his wind blow, and the waters flow. 19 He declares his word to Jacob, his statutes and ordinances to Israel. 20 He has not dealt thus with any other nation; they do not know his ordinances. Praise the Lord!

Footnotes:

Psalm 147:10 Heb legs of a person

Psalm 147:14 Or prosperity

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Deuteronomy 26:1-11

First Fruits and Tithes

26 When you have come into the land that the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance to possess, and you possess it, and settle in it, 2 you shall take some of the first of all the fruit of the ground, which you harvest from the land that the Lord your God is giving you, and you shall put it in a basket and go to the place that the Lord your God will choose as a dwelling for his name. 3 You shall go to the priest who is in office at that time, and say to him, “Today I declare to the Lord your God that I have come into the land that the Lord swore to our ancestors to give us.” 4 When the priest takes the basket from your hand and sets it down before the altar of the Lord your God, 5 you shall make this response before the Lord your God: “A wandering Aramean was my ancestor; he went down into Egypt and lived there as an alien, few in number, and there he became a great nation, mighty and populous. 6 When the Egyptians treated us harshly and afflicted us, by imposing hard labor on us, 7 we cried to the Lord, the God of our ancestors; the Lord heard our voice and saw our affliction, our toil, and our oppression. 8 The Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, with a terrifying display of power, and with signs and wonders; 9 and he brought us into this place and gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey. 10 So now I bring the first of the fruit of the ground that you, O Lord, have given me.” You shall set it down before the Lord your God and bow down before the Lord your God. 11 Then you, together with the Levites and the aliens who reside among you, shall celebrate with all the bounty that the Lord your God has given to you and to your house.

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

John 6:26-35

26 Jesus answered them, “Very truly, I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. 27 Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For it is on him that God the Father has set his seal.” 28 Then they said to him, “What must we do to perform the works of God?” 29 Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.” 30 So they said to him, “What sign are you going to give us then, so that we may see it and believe you? What work are you performing? 31 Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’” 32 Then Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is that which[a] comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” 34 They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.”

35 Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

Footnotes:

John 6:33 Or he who

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Psalm 145

Psalm 145

The Greatness and the Goodness of God

Praise. Of David.

1 I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. 2 Every day I will bless you, and praise your name forever and ever. 3 Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; his greatness is unsearchable.

4 One generation shall laud your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. 5 On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate. 6 The might of your awesome deeds shall be proclaimed, and I will declare your greatness. 7 They shall celebrate the fame of your abundant goodness, and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

8 The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. 9 The Lord is good to all, and his compassion is over all that he has made.

10 All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord, and all your faithful shall bless you. 11 They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom, and tell of your power, 12 to make known to all people your[a] mighty deeds, and the glorious splendor of your[b] kingdom. 13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures throughout all generations.

The Lord is faithful in all his words, and gracious in all his deeds.[c] 14 The Lord upholds all who are falling, and raises up all who are bowed down. 15 The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. 16 You open your hand, satisfying the desire of every living thing. 17 The Lord is just in all his ways, and kind in all his doings. 18 The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. 19 He fulfills the desire of all who fear him; he also hears their cry, and saves them. 20 The Lord watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.

21 My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord, and all flesh will bless his holy name forever and ever.

Footnotes:

Psalm 145:12 Gk Jerome Syr: Heb his

Psalm 145:12 Heb his

Psalm 145:13 These two lines supplied by Q Ms Gk Syr

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-24

Final Exhortations, Greetings, and Benediction

12 But we appeal to you, brothers and sisters,[a] to respect those who labor among you, and have charge of you in the Lord and admonish you; 13 esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. 14 And we urge you, beloved,[b] to admonish the idlers, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all of them. 15 See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise the words of prophets,[c] 21 but test everything; hold fast to what is good; 22 abstain from every form of evil.

23 May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound[d] and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do this.

Footnotes:

1 Thessalonians 5:12 Gk brothers

1 Thessalonians 5:14 Gk brothers

1 Thessalonians 5:20 Gk despise prophecies

1 Thessalonians 5:23 Or complete

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.