#the top 2% listeners thing really gave me whiplash this is so much to take in all at once

[mariska]

dude i am sobbing from some horrible combination of laughter and hysteria over my 'top artist' on my Spotify wrapped...........my best friend was my house roommate irl for the whole summer and we had many days where we did like, sketches or digital art concepts/projects together or separately in the main living room where we had both our computers on the same table and when we didnt know what to put on for background noise we would just load up this big playlist with all of the Danganronpa video game soundtracks on it.

and we did that so much. that the Danganronpa soundtrack composer ended up being my Top Artist™️ this year. everything has Monokuma on the front page image. i am losing my mind

[elivanah-writes]

Happier -3-

pairing: Mob!James ‘Bucky’ Barnes x reader / Juan ‘Juice’ Ortiz x Reader

warnings: angst, talk of cheating, heatbreak

part 1 / part 2 / masterlist 

During the next few weeks y/n kept thinking about that little run-in at the hospital, she couldn’t get it out of her mind. And for some reason, she didn’t tell Bucky about it, she wasn’t sure how he’d react. Bucky never hide what he thought of Juice, in his eyes Juice was a coward, an asshole for doing what he did to her. Yes, he knows all about her feelings for him, that in a way she’d always love that idiot. The look in his eyes, how he looked at her baby bump, that look of pain wouldn’t leave her mind and every time it broke her heart again. She still loved him more than she thought, making her even more confused than that she already was, she was in love with Bucky and Juice. She didn’t know what to do, for once she had the feeling that she couldn’t talk to Bucky about it, she was hopeless. So she did the only thing she could think of, there was one other person that had always been there for her when she needed someone to listen or give her a new perspective on something. So after a quick phone call, she sneaked out of the house without someone seeing her, after spending so much time in this well-protected house she had found ways to sneak around without anybody seeing her. And the fact that Juice used to teach her how to hack into security systems helped her a lot too. 

There was one place she would always feel safe and at home, that wasn’t a person but a small lookout over Charming, if you even looked closely you could see even Teller-Morrow from there.

“You look like shit sweetheart.” a voice called out from behind her making her jump a bit in her spot.

“Yeah well, I feel like shit too mama, I don’t know what to do,” she said without looking in the woman’s direction.

“That’s why you called me baby. Tell me what’s on your mind, it’s clear to see that you’re struggling with something” she sighs as she sits down next to y/n on the bench under the tree. “There’s so much Gemma, I’m just so confused. I love James, I really do but seeing Juan at the hospital the other day, how he looked at me made me realize that I still love him too. I love that asshole so much even if he broke my heart. And the way he looked at me, his eyes were filled with pain Gemma. I thought he was happy, happier without me.” she breathed out.

“That’s some deep shit you’re in sweetheart,” she said while lighting a cigarette before continuing “I don’t think he is happy, he hides it just really well behind that pretty smile of his. But that isn’t going to help you, it’s in the past sweetheart. Don’t break your head over it, I love you and I loved you together with Juice but I do think it’s for the best if you forget about him. You have that James guy now and it seems like he’s taking really good care of you, you’re having a kid with him.” she says before getting up again. “ Want my advice sweetheart? Cover up that crow on your wrist and move out of Charming with your new guy.” 

Gemma started to walk back to her car until the words that slipt from y/n lips stopped her in her tracks. “Juice is the father, not James.”

“Oh, shit” she curses as she walks back to her and sits back down next to her.

The two of them sat down in silence looking over at Charming for a long time. Y/n could feel the phone in her pocket vibrate multiple times and she knew it would be Bucky calling her but she couldn’t get herself to pick up, she couldn’t talk to him right now.

“Does your guy know it’s not his?” Gemma asks, breaking the silence.

“Yeah he does, we weren’t together yet when I found out I was pregnant. He knows I still love that idiot too. He’s not happy about it but he understands.”

“But you didn’t tell him that you saw Juice at the hospital” she states more than asked.

“Yeah, he doesn’t. It’s clear as day what he thinks about Juice, I don’t want him to have the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea? Sweetheart, you’re still in love with your ex. He’s jealous and frankly, he has every right to be unless you forget about your feelings for Juice. But you should tell Juice about the baby, It changes a lot. just tell him and hear him out okay” Gemma said and then she was gone just as fast as she had come. 

As soon as she’s alone she starts to cry, Gemma was right, she couldn’t go on loving two guys at the same time. She needed to leave the past in the past. But that was harder done than said, it seemed like Juice wasn’t as happy as she first thought he was. But why? Why wasn’t he if he was the one to fuck up, he cheated on her?

In the end, she was just more confused about everything. She took a deep breath, wiped her tears that had fallen away, and got up. 

There was only one thing she could think of to do right now, she needed to talk to Bucky, confess to him what had happened because they had always said there would never be secrets between them. They could figure this out, they could take Gemma’s advice and just leave Charming together, start a new life somewhere far from old memories, old wounds.

The driveway was filled with cars when she arrived back home, ‘there must be something going on’ she thought to herself as she walked up the driveway and inside the house.

The first thing she heard was yelling, it was utter chaos in the house and nobody noticed her walking in. Bucky was screaming at the top of his lungs to his men, there was definitely something going on, she couldn’t clearly hear what he was saying but it was clear that he was pissed off about something. Bucky and his men sat in his office with the door slightly open so she could easily walk closer without anyone noticing. She rested her back against the wall right beside the door, it wasn’t that she wanted to eavesdrop but she wanted to know what was going on. Besides his office door was never closed, at least not for her, like he had said before, there would never be secrets between them. But what she heard made her doubt that statement, it seemed like that Bucky had a very big secret for her.

“You can all fucking make sure that you find her! I have worked my ass off to get her here, I fucking threatened that wanna be biker of hers so I’d get her for myself! I can’t let her slip from my fingers now!” he growled at his men. 

y/n didn’t know what she was hearing, Bucky threatened Juice? Why would he do that? Why was he talking about her like she was some possession, an object? She didn’t know she was crying until her sight was cloudy and everything got quiet around her and slipped down the wall until she sat down. 

“Doll? What’s wrong, why are you crying?” the familiar voice of Bucky sounded close by but she didn’t look up at him until she felt his fingers lifting her chin before he wiped her tears away. She wanted to ask so much but the words didn’t leave her lips, it was like she didn’t know how to speak. She could feel Bucky freeze in front of her in realization. “How much have you heard?” he almost whispered. 

“Enough. Why Bucky? Did you really threaten Juan? Do you even really love me?” she cries out suddenly finding her courage making him pull back a bit. 

“Come on, let’s go into the living room, I’ll tell you everything you want to know,” he says as he pulls her to her feet and walks with her to the leather couches. 

But instead of sitting down at her usual spot next to him she moved around the coffee table and sat down in the armchair that was the furthest from where Bucky sat down. Bucky sighed when she didn’t sit down next to him but then again he couldn’t really blame her.

“To answer your question, yes I did threaten Juan, at least I made him a deal. Your precious sons of anarchy bikers wanted you safe and they needed help to do that so they came to me. I was the only one who could keep you safe from the dangers that you were in.” He started to explain

“What was the deal? What did you get from it?” 

“You, it got me you. My sister had a thing for your guy, Juan, so the deal was that if Juan slept with her and broke your heart while doing it then I would make sure you got every protection you needed, which wasn’t actually much,” he said with not much emotion in his voice. 

Y/n didn’t know what she heard, he was the reason Juice cheated on her?

“What? You forced Juice to cheat on me just because your sister had a stupid crush on him?!” she asked, raising her voice as she got up from the chair ready to leave.

“I can’t believe you! I thought you were different, that I could trust you. You even said that there weren’t any secrets between us. I thought our love was real!” she cried 

“I didn’t do it for my sister, I wanted what was best for you! I did this because I love you!” he said as he got up from the couch too, it was clear he was starting to get angry too.

“Oh, that’s oh so romantic James! You didn’t even know me back then so stop lying and tell me the truth!” she said rolling her eyes at him.

“I AM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH! I have had my eyes on you for years, ever since you still lived in Brooklyn. I have wanted you since then, loved you since then. Then you moved to Charming and met that filthy biker with that ridiculous name, watch you fall in love with him. You were slipping from my fingers. I had to do something to make you mine. So yeah I send that guy to make it seem like you were in danger so I could step in and play the savior.” he growled as he walked up to her and cornered her against the wall and looked her straight in the eye with both hands next to her face. The look in his eyes was something she had never seen before, she’d be lying if she said that it didn’t scare her. For the first time since she knew him, she was somewhat afraid of him. 

“You stalked me? How could you do this to me? I really loved you” she softly sobbed.

“Please don’t cry doll, we can move past this. Isn’t our love enough?” he softly smiled at her as he wiped a tear away. The change in him almost gave her a whiplash, he went from sweet to angry to sweet again in the manner of minutes.

“I don’t think we can. You don’t love me, your love is an obsession. Whenever we have even a small disagreement you just buy me stuff as a way to apologize, ever since I moved in we almost never do things together, you’re already working before breakfast. I just never saw how much you have changed me, this isn’t me James, you turned me into someone you wanted me to be, the stay-at-home mom that just plays the good housewife. What you did was wrong, I was happy with Juice and if you truly loved me you wouldn’t have messed with that!” she growled at him as her anger returned bigger than ever and pushed herself from between his arms.

Before he could respond she had ran out of the living room, the stairs and into their shared bedroom where she quickly packed a bag of her essentials before coming down again. Bucky wasn’t in the living room when she came down, he was in his office again typing away on his computer. 

“I’m leaving James, I can’t do this anymore. We’re done” she says not waiting for a response and walking out of the front door.

As soon as the front door falls shut behind her he screams out, letting his anger all out as he wipes his arm over his desk throwing everything on the floor. 

He wouldn’t leave it like this, he wasn’t letting her go that easily. He’d get her back one way or another, whatever it may take.

tags:

@drabbles-mc​ @ortizobsessed​ @pawfect-melody​ @vicmc624​ @believinghurts​

[talas-starlight]

Scarred Spirits - zuko x fem!reader (pt.6)

SUMMARY: Y/n has been tailing Azula since Omashu and struggles to carry out her mission while protecting what matters most (AHAHAH THIS WAS THE WORST SUMMARY EVER IM SORRY)

WORD COUNT: 4k (uh wow this is my longest piece ever and i- AHAHA)

WARNINGS: panic attacks, fighting, swearing, angst? Tbh if you’ve made it this far in the series nothing new I think (lmk if I forgot anything)

KEY: *** = flashback && italic = internal dialogue

PREVIOUS PARTS: part 1  /   part 2   /  part 3  /  part 4  /  part 5

MASTERLIST: Here!

The cool breeze swept through the palanquin as Azula sat assuredly, ruling everything she passed. “Okay girls, Father has sent word that the machinery and our wonderful new pets will meet up with us soon to chase down the Avatar until he’s too exhausted to even think anymore! Then, we’ll be off to capture Zuzu and Uncle! Victory will be ours.”

“That sounds extremely boring.” Grumbling as if Mai had so much more better things to do with her time.

“Hmm, I have to disagree Mai. What would be more fun than making them feel like there’s no escape but having to fight which they would inevitably fail at trying to win because they’re tired beyond repair!! It will be such a sweet victory.” Letting out a small laugh that sounded nothing but maniacal to you, Mai didn’t say another word as Ty Lee giddily nodded in approval.

Now, that is a tragic sight to see despite how understandably so.

Azula, Ty Lee and Mai have been planning how to hunt down the additional target from the moment they all stepped out of Omashu. Yet, based on that recent encounter, it was more so Azula rather than anyone else. Luckily enough, you were able to stay out of sight the entire time, and nothing requiring you to intervene has occurred. It was only a matter of time before that lucky streak broke.

After much contemplation and sleepless nights since the third anniversary, along with recent events, Zuko finally came to a conclusion. Approaching his uncle with great certainty, he finally let out what has been on his mind.

“Uncle, I thought a lot about what you said.”

“You did? Good, good.”

“It’s helped me realise something.” Letting out a deep breath, getting to the point came quite easily to him, especially since Iroh’s back was still faced towards him.

“We no longer have anything to gain by travelling together. I need to find my own way.”

Not wanting to stay for any of Iroh’s possible rebuttals, he silently reached for his belongings that he had pre-packed for the occasion and turned to make his solo journey into the forest. As he began to walk further into the woods on his own, Iroh knew he wouldn’t turn back for him, so he did the first thing he could think of to aid his nephew if he couldn’t physically be there for him.

“Wait!” Rushing over Iroh grabbed the Ostrich Horse and gave him to Zuko- for someone who has barely been exposed to the real world, he knew his nephew couldn’t do entirely on his own. Even if the animal couldn’t properly speak with him.

Accepting his uncles’ gesture, he climbed on top ready to get on with his own mission of sorts. On his own, Zuko would finally have the chance to do something he never had time to consider until now; find you.

Looking out onto the horizon, the giant, ugly piece of machinery continued to charge its way towards a hopeless group of young teenagers. “Despite how much I hate that girl, I will admit, her determination is unparalleled.”

“Eerrnngggghhhhh!”

“You can say that again.”

It had been approximately three days since Azula received her new toy, and she spent every single minute catching up with the Avatar. To your relief, she seems to have finally caught sight of him, and hopefully, this would also mean that you might finally be able to stop tailing her. In the past three days, you haven’t managed to catch a single minute of sleep or a break, and while this was something you have experienced before, you were sure that your ride was more than ready to collapse at any second.

In all honesty, when a Fire Nation hawk landed near your campsite four days earlier, the last thing you expected was word that you would be receiving assistance for your mission. Not once before had this occurred since you’ve been entirely left to your own devices. You supposed it was because the stakes were too high this round.

***

Y/N.

I am pleased to hear that my daughter is able to catch sight of the Avatar and his assistants in crime against my great nation. While I am sure you are clearly focused on your task with ensuring Azula succeeds in bringing my disgraceful relatives back to the palace, you must extend your attention towards the new targets as well. Regarding my son and brother, I was disappointed when I heard word that they got away since I made it perfectly clear that you must finish the job. On this occasion, I will take the benefit of the doubt since it would be too suspicious if you completed the mission on Azula’s first attempt.

I have dispatched 3 mongoose lizards for Azula and her company. A fourth will be on its way for your use, as it is paramount that you do not let her fail whatsoever.

I have taken the precious and personal time out of my day to write and send this letter so that word does not reach my daughter of your mission. Let this also be a reminder of the possible bounty on your head if you choose to fail. I am sure the pitiful state of your body is enough of a reminder of what I can do to you.

Regardless of your past services to me, remember this is the ultimate test of your loyalty to your nation and me.

Your Fire Lord, Ozai.

Despite informing you that help that was on its way, you spent the rest of the night in a state of turmoil. Talk about having a way with words.

How in Spirits name did that stupid bird find me?! It flew away quickly too so I guess I don’t need to send anything back but… What am I really doing here?

Ozai seems to have some way of finding me so clearly, I can’t run away. Yet, I’m not going to allow him to take anyone back to the Capital…

Frozen in your thoughts, your focus stayed fixated on the fire you ignited earlier in the night.

Fuck I wish I could talk to her. She’d know the right thing to say, and everything would be okay again.

Roughly tugging at your braided hair, you held your legs to your chest desperately trying to clear your head. Stop, don’t think about her too.

Oblivious to any concept of time, when the first rays of yellow and orange peak over the horizon, your mind instantly enters a state of calm. Almost as if it were able to strengthen you from your core. Although while the problem remained, with a stronger mindset, you forced yourself to accept that you were just going to have to work it out further down the line. At this rate with Azula’s split focus, you weren’t even sure if you would have to take care of the Avatar or Zuko first.

***

Funnily enough, it seemed that fate decided you would have to deal with both at the same time since Zuko has caught sight of Azula and friends and now you were tailing both him and his sister. How convenient.

I wonder where Iroh is? Didn’t he get away with Zuko when they ran off the ship?

After keeping out of sight through every moment Azula came even remotely close to Aang, you decided to follow her when she separated from Mai and Ty Lee. But before you entered the area to keep an eye on everything from afar, you noticed Zuko on his Ostrich Horse as if he was waiting for the right moment to interfere.

“Be careful Zuko.”

Whipping around at a speed that could give him whiplash, his face instantly turned into nothing short of a scowl when he recognised your voice.

“You again?! Whoever you are, you need to get away from me. Leave. Me. Alone!”

Attempting and failing to take a step closer to him as he steers his horse a few steps back. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m just trying to protect you, that’s all I want to do. If I could have it my way, you’d be far away from this place; away from Azula. You can’t trust her. This isn’t right, and you should be somewhere that could give you a fresh start, like Ba Sing Se.”

“As if you would know anything about Azula or why I’m here! I need to regain my honour, and I’m doing the right thing! Stop trying to meddle with my life when your role in it is completely insignificant!”

An indignant sigh passes through your lips. “Fine. Just be careful. Please.”

Scowling at you once more Zuko tugs the reigns on his ostrich horse to take him further into the abandoned village. You try not to let his anger get to you, but at this point, you’re unsure if you’re more upset or annoyed with his attitude. Sighing under your mask, you do a quick check that all of your weapons are strapped in place since it seems that this interaction isn’t about to end peacefully.

“Let’s do this.”

Hopping off your new lizard friend, you stealthy broke through one of the broken windows of a nearby building, ensuring that you were staying out of sight.

Ah, it seems he wasn’t wasting any time.

“Back off Azula. He’s mine.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

As the three of them got into their fighting stances, you almost wanted to jump in right then and there to help Aang. The sight of his painfully dark under circles was too much of an indicator that this fight wasn’t going to be an easy one.

Making the first move, Azula strikes her blue fire towards Zuko. Luckily enough for him, he was able to deflect it with his own. Observing the fight take place before you, it eventually gravitates further away, leaving you to only listen to what is occurring from your hidden spot.

I wonder how long until I’ll have to step in. With both Zuko and Azula on the offence, it’s clear that one of them is going to get hurt. Something tells me it’s not going to be Azula either. If only he fought smarter rather than harder.

What. A. Pity.

Soon enough, your suspicions were confirmed when you heard Zuko let out an angered scream, followed by a loud crash. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t let out a small snicker at that.

As Aang comes back into view, you scan around for an exit knowing that if you stay where you are, you’ll get caught. Yet when you make your move to run, half of the roof is swiped off clean, causing him to plummet towards the ground. Abandoning any thought, you sprint back to where he’s about to land, quickly catching him.

Stunned that there was another person in a building, Aang frantically looked around, trying to identify who it was that caught him. Eventually, he noticed your eyes peering through some of the broken wooden ceiling around him, your black mask confirming that it was you. “Woah! What…? Oh spirits, it’s you!”

Eye’s widening at how fast he managed to work out that it was you, you desperately tried to dig yourself into the wreckage as you felt Azulas fire coming closer. “Shhh! She’s coming.”

“What? How do you know-?”

As Azula saunters into the building, her infamous smirk adorning her face. Wordlessly lighting up the room's perimeter in flames, Aang begins to struggle against the piece of wood on top of him, consequently crushing you further from under him.

Letting out a small grunt, you scold him under your breath, “stay calm.”

Your inner peace y/n.

Just as Azula raised her right hand to strike, you closed your eyes, imagining a moment you felt at peace. A moment that made you forget all of the chaos your created in the world.

***

Cold, smooth fingertips tenderly reached out towards you, instinctively making your lungs tightly squeeze together as she brushed the hair out of your eyes. The delicate giggle emitting from her pink stained lips was enough for you to lose all sense of constraint as you take a small step towards her. Hesitantly as you stare that the ground, you take her hand in yours, stroking the back of it with your thumb. The action is so small yet feels so loud in your chest because this is as close as its ever gotten.

Just when you’re about to pull it away completely, terrified that you’ve gone too far, her other hand reaches up, lifting your chin ever so softly as she makes you look at her.

“It’s funny y/n, because even though I’ve lived here my whole life, I’ve never seen snow look quite as beautiful as it does in your hair.”

***

When you reopen them, the heat of your fire runs its way through your veins and your fingertips. The fallen remains all around you burst away, freeing yourself and Aang from its constrains. Seeing your golden fire of pure energy light up the room, Azula is stunned into place, instantly recognising it from the day she visited your cell all those years ago. Glowing golden, eyes peering into the deepest parts of her, it's unnerving how the unusual feeling sinks into her bones. Yet, her moments of distraction leave her as Katara reaches the entryway whipping her arm with water.

Complete rage fills Azula’s body. Not only had she been wholly blindsided by your presence, but she also lost focus. And Azula never loses focus.

Whirling around, she strikes at Katara, sending her running out into the open. Needing to make up for her prior incompetence, Azula runs after her.

“Woah! How did you do that?! That was so cool.”

“There’s no time; you need to go out there and help your friends. Never underestimate that princess.”

Aang’s amazement towards how you freed both of you from the crushing weight of the ceiling faltered as he noticed your choice of words.

“Come with me. Please. I need you.”

Sensing the certainty of his decision, you brushed off some ash from your clothing, wordlessly making your way out of the building.

I’m going to regret this.

With Aang following closely behind, you both join Sokka and Katara, and they face Azula, ready to corner her. Yet she wasn’t giving up just yet. Sending her fire with precision, she takes turns in having a shot at each of you. Luckily enough, you were all able to hold your own.

Backing away slowly, you can tell she thinks that she’s almost about to get a proper hold of the entire situation. But to your greatest joy, she falls flat on her face.

“I thought you guys could use a little help.”

This must be Aangs new earth bending teacher.

“Thanks.” Did Katara just smile?!

Not wasting the opportunity that came with their small distraction, she makes a run for an ally as an escape. Although, once again, she is faced with another hurdle being Iroh, ultimately allowing all seven of you to finally corner her.

In true fashion, she doesn’t allow it to bother her one bit, “well, look at this. Enemies and traitors all working together.”

Taking in everyone one by one, she pauses when her eyes lock with yours. “Even you. Pathetic scum, it seems you still haven’t learnt your lesson. I always told father we should have disposed of you from the moment we caught you.” With that comment, you see Zuko glance towards you in your peripheral vision. This is nowhere near the time right now coal brain.

“I’m done.” Raising her arms in surrender, you almost want to laugh. Do these people seriously believe Azula right now?

“I know when I’m beaten. You got me. A princess surrenders with honour.” Standing before everyone, you instinctively fixate yourself on her, searching for a microexpression to indicate what she’s really about to do.  Her smug smile clearly shows that she’ll most likely attack. But who?

By the time she decides on her target, it’s too late. Sending a direct stream of fire towards Iroh, Zuko lets out a horrified scream, instinctively setting off everyone to attack with their element, or weapon in Sokkas case. You on the other hand, rushed to Iroh’s side knowing that the others were more than capable on their own.

As he lays passed out on the ground, panic slowly swarms in your chest. Fuck, another person is dying because of me! I literally saw her focus on him!

Placing your hands on his chest, you let out a deep breath trying to remember a trick you learned on a mission a while back when you got a deep cut to your side. Focusing on him and his faint heartbeat, despite being a bit shaky, you were able to use your fire, providing him with enough energy to bring his breathing to a steady rate. But the moment was short-lived when you heard an explosion go off, giving Zuko the opportunity to get to his uncle's side, and in turn, shove you away from him.

“Get off him! You’re always in the way! Arghhhh!”

Haistly scrambling to your feet, you stand beside Sokka, understanding that it’s best you try not to help him right now. Katara, on the other hand, didn’t seem to share those feelings with you.

“Zuko, I can help.”

“LEAVE!” as he strikes towards you and everyone else, you stumbled backwards. Memories of a similar flame being struck towards you by his father felt like something inside you snapped. While not directly hitting you, the heat radiating down upon you caused your head to spin, and vision to blur.

It seemed that despite training with fire for the past three years, the action coming from him sent you down a spiral incomparable to anything else.

i-I can’t... I’m…

The earth bender girl immediately sensing what was happening to you didn’t hesitate, “Sokka! Grab her! Quickly, we need to go to Appa.”

“What?! Why me!”

“Shut up!! Her heart rate is literally through the roof right now. We need to help her! Can’t you see her shaking right in front of you?!”

Finally taking a good look at your trembling form, Sokka was too stunned to move.

Aang immediately agreeing with Toph, nudges him before setting off in the direction of Appa. “Sokka, NOW!”

Snapping out of his panicked, frozen state, he rushes towards you, scooping you up into his arms.

“Oh Spirits, I am so so sorry if I’m invading your personal space right now. Please, I’m so sorry. It’ll only be until we reach Appa, okay? I’m so…”

Fisting the cloth of his shirt, you shake your head. “It’s o-okay.” Pushing your face into his chest, you try to regulate your breathing in time with his heartbeat. Something was so unexplainably comfortable about having someone hold you that all of the memories of Ozai burning you, began to make its way back into the depths of your mind. So comforting, that at some point between the village and Appa, you passed out.

When you awoke again, you were high up in the clouds with the sun high in the air. How long was I out?

Deciding to sit upright, the first thing you see is the Water Tribe siblings and the earth kingdom girl facing you.

At first, you thought Toph was about to speak up, yet it seemed that Katara’s suspicions of you beat her to the punch. “Don’t think of moving too fast or trying anything! You're cornered now.”

Your eyebrows raised at that. “Alright, then. How would you like me?”

Upon, hearing your voice Aang physically perked up, completely beaming that you were awake. Without a second thought, he trusted that Appa would be able to fly for a bit on his own, making his way to all of you.

“I’m so glad that you’re okay! I was really worried about you.” Taking his place next to Katara, you were shocked at the stark contrast between his attitude towards you, and hers. It’s like he genuinely cares. Well… I guess that makes sense considering he’s an Air Nomad. Oh spirits, does this mean he’s going to pay even more attention to me than when we first met?!

“Uh… thanks. I appreciate it, but you really didn’t have to.”

“No, of course I did! Plus, I’m grateful that you helped me out with Azula! It’s the least we could do. Right guys?” Still having his glowing smile, he turns to his friends, and it seemed that the only one who truly looked indifferent with the entire matter was the earth kingdom girl who just nodded.

“Thanks, Toph!” Finally, a name.

Once again, Katara was displeased, “yeah whatever. If she’s going to stay with us, she’s going to have to tell us who she is. Don’t think we didn’t hear what Azula said back there about you. You need to explain what she meant by that. How does she know you, and what do you have to do with the Fire Lord?!”

At those questions, you weren’t too happy either, “I don’t want to stay with you! I just need to leave and find Azula again.”

For the first time since you woke up, Sokka decided to say something. “Why would you ever want to do that?! Why do you keep wanting to go back to her when you keep getting separated?! If you ask me it’s clearly a sign that you should stay away because she’s completely insane! She even knows you followed her and everything, so she’s going to have her guard up.”

“You don’t understand. If I don’t get back to Azula, people are going to get hurt. I’ve literally saved your lives on two occasions just by tailing her. Now, think about all of the people she can harm when no one’s watching. I’m also a threat to all of your destinies by being here.”

Uncomfortable with the tension that’s been building at an alarming rate, Aang moves so that he’s sitting in between you and the other three. “Okay, I understand, but could you please explain why you’re a threat by being here? You need to stay safe too, your life matters just as much as everyone else’s and even though you’ve proven yourself more than capable of protecting yourself, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll be safe if you go to her and I can't let you go knowing your life is at risk.”

“Aang, there are always risks. Spirits, all four of you are at risk, but you know that it's for the greater good to end this war.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not the same. We have each other; we look after each other. You don’t have that. Please. You don’t have to tell us everything now. I understand since we’ve only met once before, but I promise no matter what it will all be okay and you can be apart of our team. Our family.”

On that note, you hesitated. A family?

No. The spirits have made it clear enough that a family is not in my cards.

“That sounds great, but I don’t think it’ll work out.”

Sokka lets out a frustrated groan, “What? Of course, it will! I know I’m not your biggest fan, but it's clear you’re just as against the Fire Nation as the rest of us!”

Looking around at all of their faces, you can tell that even though Sokka and mainly Katara, still clearly have their reservations about you, they understand where Aang is coming from. Heck, if it meant that they had another person on their side and against Azula and the Fire Nation, that was already a win. You almost felt guilty when you saw their horrified faces as you revealed the truth.

“It won’t work because I’m the Fire Lords personal assassin.”

 taglist: @slythergirlimagines​​ @mangoberry43​​ @eridanuswave​​ @whiskeywinter89​​​ @kaylove12​​ @simplyfandomish​​ @khaleesi-of-assassins​ @callums-keith​ @ilovespideyyy​ @calciumcow​ @blackhood5sos​ @nnon-it-up​ @lozzybowe​ @scarletemeterio​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @simpinforsukka​ @chewymoustachio​ @tiffy119​ @sokkassuki​ @spearbatty​

a/n: hehe hiya friends!! Thanks for reading hehe I hope you enjoyed!! Lelel lmk your thoughts or any predictions for what you think is guna happen next hehe

alsoooo did anyone spot my lil inserts for our second lead? AHAHAHAHAHA

don’t fear either!! Zuko will learn eventually hehehe

but anyway i would love to hear from all of you if you have any feedback as well :))

[rightsockjin]

BTIP: Day 2

Summary: It’s day two and already, the drama has started! With two date cards out in the open, will Y/N get to go out of the villa? Alliances begin to form in Paradise and relationships blossom. What will happen when a new girl arrives and steals Jungkook’s attention? One word. Drama.

Rating: K+ (Suggestive)

Genre: Romance, drama, slight angst

Word Count: 11,423

This is the format that will be used from now on! I hope it’s not too long! If you want to be on the tag list, please send me an ask! Thank you for everyone who’s been reading it! enjoy!

~adminKim

Last Time on Bangtan in Paradise:

Y/N was caught in two compromising positions:

- “Are we interrupting something,” Seokjin asked, looking from you to the producer who instantly jumped back.

       “Uh no. Sorry, I just wanted to make sure that her mic didn’t short out since she had gotten in the hot tub without removing it. I have to replace it now so I’ll be back in a bit. Don’t let me stop you from mingling.”

-Like a magnetic force, you felt yourself lean down. Taehyung was reaching up too, his wet hand was now at your neck. It was like a spell. You would never have done something like this before. You were always the kind of person to take things slow, but you had six weeks to fall in love and you realized that maybe you would have to speed up your regular process. Would you regret this later? Maybe. But in that moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Taehyung seemed to hit it off with two people:

That was when you noticed that he was holding hands with that brunette girl from earlier. All the blood rushed out of your face. Wasn’t it just minutes ago that you guys had almost kissed?

Jin protected you from the lustful gaze of the group:

“Jin, please tell me my dress isn’t see-through right now.”

       Jin’s eyes snapped up to your face, “What no! No it’s not that it’s just…” he gulped, pulling you towards him and flipping your body so that he was hiding you from the rest of the men in the resort. He didn’t seem to care that your dress was getting his shorts wet. He held you close to his body.

       “It’s really just plastered to your skin. I suggest you go and change if you don’t want people to stare.”

Y/N began to trust your producer:

 “Yeah okay well the sound is fine. If you need anything you can just say my name and I’ll show up,” he tapped his head set, “at the risk of sounding incredibly creepy, I’m always listening.”

       He tapped his head set, then without much more of a goodbye, he walked out of your room leaving you to stare after him with a crescent on your lips.

And the first date card appeared:

Yoongi looked at Jackson in shock. It was clear that he hadn’t expected to get the first date card. He seemed to be thrown thoroughly off guard.

       “Me,” he asked, as Jackson handed him the slightly ripped envelope. He scanned the card as if he couldn’t quite believe it unless he saw it. His mouth was slightly open.

       “You mean I have to wake up early? And I have to exercise?”

       Next to him, Hobi laughed loudly clapping him on the back, “Be happy Yoongi! You have your pick of women for the first date in Paradise!”

Who will Yoongi choose? Will Jungkook ever get his chance to atone for his actions on the Bachelor? Will things heat up between Jin and Y/N?

Find out now! On Bangtan in Paradise!

It was maybe nine in the morning when you woke up. Namjoon had appeared in your room shortly after you rose to secure a mic on your waist with a tan band of fabric that hid under your tankini top then, without much conversation, excited. You wondered if he had gotten into any trouble for the way he had already conversed with you more than he should have in a day.

You weren’t sure at what time Yoongi’s date left but you had a gut feeling that he wasn’t going to ask you. This was confirmed when you walked out of your room and to the Cabana for some breakfast and Yoongi was missing. People were already up and chatting. You wondered how early everyone else had woken up.

You yawned. You had taken a late shower and partially straightened your hair the night before so you could curl it overnight with curlers. You hadn’t slept much since your nerves had gotten the best of you and it looked like it had all been in vain. You were not going on a date that day.

“Morning,” Seokjin said, sitting next to you on a stool. His face was pale with sunscreen and he was wearing a long sleeved surfer shirt. A straw hat on his head.

“You’re chipper today,” you giggled, rubbing a particularly thick blob of lotion into his cheek affectionately. Already, you felt somehow drawn to this man. His slight flirtations from the night before and the way he’d shielded you from the impure stares of the other men stuck in your mind. Whether it was romantic, or friendship wise, Seokjin was rubbing you the right way.

“It’s a beautiful day. There’s beautiful women,” he winked at you, “What’s not to be chipper about?”

You had no answer. Instead you asked the bartender for a mimosa and an egg sandwich. Seokjin watched you. Amused.

“Also…I’m hoping that the date cards start to roll in soon. I’m anxious to be the first to take you out.”

Your blood pressure must have dropped drastically and noticeably because Seokjin’s face went from hopeful, to terrified in a matter of seconds.

“Whoa, Y/N, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You took a large gulp of your mimosa to get some sugar in your body. Panic filled you to the brim. You could feel the eyes of your fellow bachelors on you, all of them looking at you and Seokjin curiously.

“NO! I’m fine…I just wasn’t expecting…are you flirting with me?”

Jin laughed, “Kind of, yeah.”

What a stupid question. Of course he was flirting with you. That was the point of this show wasn’t it? You had never had someone be so blatantly express interest in you before.

“Oh.”

“Is,” he cleared his throat, “Is that okay?”

“Yes!” You almost screamed. The back of your neck burned. The small hairs there prickled. As covertly as you could, you glanced over your shoulder. In the same table as yesterday sat-what was her name?-Holly, across from Kitty and Taehyung looking miserable as you spoke to Jin.

A part of you felt guilty. As rude as they had been the day before, you weren’t the type of person to go after another person’s crush fully knowing that they had it. Another part kept yelling at you that it wasn’t your fault. You hadn’t actively sought out Jin. He had found you this morning and struck up a conversation.

“Well I’m glad,” Seokjin confirmed, scooting a little closer as you turned back around and took a bite of your sandwich.

“Me too,” you said, “But uh… I really think that Holly has a thing for you. Do you uh,” what were you doing? What were you about to say? You mentally argued with yourself for a second about the words that threatened to spill off of your lips.

“Do you maybe want to talk to her? Just to make sure that you don’t want to maybe date her instead?”

Seokjin’s shoulders sagged. Instantly, you knew you had said the wrong thing. Your heart raced.

“Ok wait hold on that was stupid,” you said. Waves of regret seemed to radiate off of the man before you. He had put his heart on the line and in seconds you had crushed it.

“Look if you’re not interested, that’s fine, but don’t pretend to be interested.”

He stood up but you reached for his forearm, stopping him from leaving. He looked back at you. Like in a movie, his hair flopped effortlessly. The sun hit him in the perfect way. Oh God you were an idiot.

“I’m interested, Jin. I don’t know why I said that. I’m really sorry.” Jin’s angelic face didn’t show any expression. He looked at you as if for the first time.

“Yeah well, maybe you’ve got a point. We should both really try to meet multiple people to make sure that what we want is each other.”

He carefully pulled his arm from your grip. A dazzling smile replaced the plain expression he bore only seconds before. The sudden change gave you whiplash but before you could comment, he walked over to the table of hell and leaned down next to Holly. You couldn’t hear what he said, but from where you sat, you could see her face light up.

Seokjin held a hand out for her to take and she did so eagerly, jumping from her seat. Kitty watched them walk away with a satisfied smile. You felt your heart sink. Your self-sabotage had kicked in without warning and had done exactly as it was meant to. This is why things didn’t work out for you. If the filter from your brain to your mouth worked better, maybe you wouldn’t be in this mess.

You let your shoulders slump, looking out into the ocean where Jin and Holly were now taking a walk. Suddenly, you realized that you were in genuine danger of going home before the show had even started. You looked back at your sandwich, which was growing cold, sadly. You slowly ate the rest of the egg and discarded the bread.

You sipped on your mimosa absentmindedly. You would have to think of some way to keep yourself entertained. It was clear that Jin was occupied. You glanced over at Taehyung who was chatting idly with Kitty and a new arrival, Yumi. On the beach you could see Hoseok and who looked like Jimin watching the waves.

Soobin and Yeonjun were sitting in beach chairs, their shirts off. Sunglasses on. Wow. They were…pretty well built. Alex was sitting in the pool chair next to them. She was wearing a cute pair of beige shorts and a bandeau-like striped blue bikini top. Her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail, her small face was partially hidden by a pair of big circular glasses. She seemed calm enough. Which surprised you since last night she was uncomfortable with Jackson and his own display of muscle.

You wondered if you should just go and talk to her instead of worrying about the guys. It would at least help to talk to her for a little while and try to forget the stupidity that you’d just displayed.

You got up, intent on doing just that when a voice stopped you. Before you, walking into the cabana in some blue swim trunks and a black surfer’s shirt. His hair was ruffled and he looked tired. Like he had tossed and turned all night and didn’t bother to fix himself for the day. Your heart skipped a beat. He was…so cute. You could remember what it was like to see him for the first time when you walked out of the limo. The way that the night seemed to frame his body perfectly and his smile was bright and excited. You could put yourself back in that place so easily. The place where you were in love with Jeon Jungkook. Why couldn’t you do that again?

“Good morning,” Jungkook said, his teeth on full display. His body language was confident and cocky. If you didn’t look at his face you wouldn’t notice the hint of uncertainty that flashed in his brown eyes.

“Good morning…” you said gesturing with your hand for him to continue. He looked confused as he sat in the stool next to the one you had previously been occupying. He towered over you. He rested his arms on the bar as the bartender, you think his name is Jorge, came over to take his order.

“Good morning…did you sleep well,” he asked before turning to Jorge and ordering a glass of milk and some pancakes.

You, not realizing that you were expecting something, were disappointed by his answer. You weren’t sure what you had wanted him to say, but it wasn’t that. Maybe an apology. An explanation now that you were ready to listen? Your name?

“Yep, Slept well. Anyway, nice talk, I’m going to go talk to Alex,” you answered rather dryly. Jungkook blinked at you. His pancakes sat before him, beautifully decorated with strawberries and bananas. Warmed syrup sat next to them and his milk was placed in a fancy wine glass with a sprig of mint. Jungkook didn’t notice any of that. Instead, he was looking at you in what appeared to be fear.

“Later Jeon,” you said then walked away, your blue flip flops hitting your heels lightly as you walked towards the beach.

Jungkook didn’t follow you. For this you were grateful. You didn’t think you could take the humiliation of him still not remembering your name after all this time. You would think that if he cared enough, he would have figured it out. You were a viral laughing stock after all. You were not going to stick around and be embarrassed again.

The day’s sea air was cool on your skin. Today you had remembered to wear sunscreen and the wind wafted the smell up to your nose. The sun was hidden behind some harmless looking clouds and the ocean roared in the background. It was then that you realized just how beautiful Playa Escondida (Hidden beach) was. The hundreds of palm trees that resided between the multiple areas of the villa made it feel that much more secluded. Obviously, you knew that you weren’t alone and the cameras that you spotted here and there were proof of that but if you closed your eyes, this would be the very definition of paradise for you.

Flowers were blooming in trees and in bushes of all sorts. Colors seemed to drown out the grey of the day. You couldn’t help but smile. You guessed that getting your heart broken would be best in a beautiful place like this.

As you neared Alex and the two tall men, you were intercepted. Jackson stood before you, his smile subtle. He was now wearing a shirt much to your dismay and a pair of swim trunks with red geometric patterns you couldn’t quite make out. He was barefoot and a tiny bit sunburned. His arms were crossed over his chest. It was like he knew something you didn’t.

“Uh…hey,” you said, taken aback.

Jackson chuckled. It felt almost deprecating though not malicious. You looked around for any signs of what he wanted to say. When the only thing that met you were his confusing actions you relaxed and waited for him to say something.

“Y/N, can I call you Y/N?”

“Uh…yes.”

“Look, I’m not trying to be rude, you’re really attractive and I can see very well why these guys want to date you, but I am not one of them.”

He said nothing else. Just waited patiently for your reply. What was going on here? The only logical explanation to you was that someone had said something to him about you and he was trying to clear the air?

“Alright, well…I think I’ll survive,” you told him, trying to walk around him but he followed you, blocking you from leaving.

“Okay good,” he confirmed, “Now that we have that out of the way, I really think we should form an alliance.”

For a second, you thought that he was joking, but his expression was serious and inquisitive. Why on earth would you need an alliance?

“An alliance?”

“An alliance.”

You waited patiently for him to explain but when he didn’t you sighed and crossed your arms.

“What do you mean, Jackson?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” he laughed, gesturing to the bed under a small room that was situated close to us. With a sigh you obliged and sat on the edge of the mildly sandy bed. Jackson plopped onto it rather ungracefully, making you bounce a bit. A surprised noise was ripped from your throat. Jackson giggled.

“Okay so here’s what I’m thinking. Things are going to get difficult really fast and when that happens, we’re going to need someone that we can trust.  A confidante. A safe haven. A sort of uh-”

“A friend?”

Jackson’s face brightened, “A FRIEND! Exactly! Yes, that’s what we will call it. Friendship! No one will know that we’re in cahoots if they just think they’re friends.”

“Or,” you paused waiting for him to look at you, “We could just be friends? Just a thought.”

Jackson scrunched up his nose, “I like the way you think Y/L/N. Friends it is.” He held out his hand and shook yours without waiting for you to take his. He nodded then crawled up closed to you so he could lower his voice.

“Now that we know our game plan, I have some rules.”

“Okay,” you giggled. The more he spoke the more funny he seemed to become.

“Rule number one. And this is the most important one okay?”

“Okay,” you agreed.

“If, for some reason, neither one of us has a person at a Rose Ceremony, then we give each other roses. So that we can get a chance to meet someone.”

You puckered your lips. It seemed reasonable enough. You were giving each other the chance to continue with the show.

“Okay and that’s only if we are both single right?”

“Boy you catch on fast Y/L/N.”

“Hey!”

He ignored your outburst, “Rule number two, if we hear something that would make the other one of us sad or angry, we tell each other. No questions asked.”

“Alright, okay yeah I can do that. Anything else?”

This time Jackson hesitated. His cheeks blushing slightly. He looked away from you, towards where Alex, Yeonjun, and Soobin were sitting. You followed his gaze. A seagull flew over the trio. A wave of sea water flowed dangerously close to the chairs but none of them seemed bothered.

“Rule number three…we’re each other’s wing men,” he sputtered when he looked back at you and your eyebrows were raised, “wing woman? Wing people? We help each other alright? If I ask for some help with a girl, you talk me up and I on the other hand will help you with…” he blinked at you as if he was thinking hard, “I’ll help you with men. No matter who it is you want. I will help you get them. Ok?”

He looked at you expectantly. A question on his face. You raised your own eyebrows at him. Again waiting for an explanation at his weirdly specific rule.

“You understand what I am saying?”

“I think I do,” you said not entirely sure if you did but you supposed you would find out soon enough.

“Okay, good. Now that I said that…do you happen to be interested in… anyone?”

At that point, you sighed and threw yourself onto the Mexican handmade comforter roughly.

“That bad already?” Jackson asked, adjusting so that his head was next to yours. You both looked up at the little canopy made of straw. The salt smell of the ocean hit you harder then. In the distance, you could hear laughter and…what sounded like a dolphin?

It was day two and already you felt like crap.

“So, you know Seokjin,” you asked Jackson.

“Kim Seokjin. The really good looking one? Or are we talking about the other one?”

You rolled your eyes. Jackson was really easy to talk to. Something about his easy going nature had you spilling your heart out.

“No oh my Lord. The handsome one,” you giggled.

“Ah alright, so what about Kim Seokjin.”

You hesitated only for a second. You were going to go talk to Alex about this anyway right? Why not just tell Jackson instead? He was free and Alex was clearly busy enjoying her time sunbathing.

“So, since yesterday, he showed interest in me and this morning he flirted with me I guess? And then I stupidly pointed out to him that Holly liked him and told him to explore that connection and not only did he take what I said to heart, I think he doesn’t want to court me anymore…”

Jackson chuckled, “Court you? What century are you living in Y/N? No one courts anyone. It’s all about talking and dating now.”

You blew a raspberry, “I know… but Seokjin seemed the type to want to court someone. Something slow and respectful. I don’t know. Maybe I sound crazy but-” you cringed, there was another Easter egg for the editors, “I want a guy who does things right you get me?”

Jackson rolled his shoulders next to you, “Well what exactly is the right way to do things?”

You thought about it. Though you had spent so much time thinking about what the perfect relationship for you would be, you let yourself picture it once more before you let yourself speak.

Cautious conversation. Careful touches. Nervous actions. Soft smiles. Multiple dates and hangouts with your person. A secret code that just you two knew. He looked at you like you were the only girl in the world.

You conveyed this to Jackson in as little words as you could. He listened intently, nodding every once in a while. Never interrupting, never judgmental. You realized more and more that whomever ended up with this man was going to be extremely fortunate.

When you finished, Jackson took a second to consider what you had said.

“Well, from what you are telling me, I feel like Paradise is going to be a bit difficult for you. A man dedicating his time solely to you is a little hard here. You would be better off with someone not in the competition.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at his weird stress on the end of the sentence. Was he perhaps suggesting that you left the show?

“Well I mean, yeah. I realize that, Jackson, but it’s really hard to meet people. This is another good way to meet someone. I get that focusing on me would be hard but I’ve seen it done before.”

“I hear you. You’re right, this is a good way to meet people. Keep your eyes open. I’m sure that there’s someone here for you.”

You smiled up at the canopy again, “Thanks Jackson. It feels good to get that off my chest.”

“What are friends for?”

You lay next to each other in silence for what felt like hours. In reality, it was probably minutes.

You watched your chest rise and fall with your breath, the red of your ruffled swimsuit fluttering over it.

“What about you, Jack?”

“What about me, Y/N?”

You groaned. Must he be difficult? You sat up so you could look at him directly. Jackson did the same, looking over his shoulder at you, “Do you have any interest in anyone yet?”

Jackson looked away from you again. His gaze unfocused. You followed it out of habit and noticed that it was directed at the trio from before. Yeonjun was pouring sunscreen on Alex’s shoulders. Soobin was stretching. His muscles rippling under the dim light.

Jackson looked back at you. His features seemed to be devoid of any emotions.

“Not yet.”

It was maybe three in the afternoon when you finally listened to your stomach’s protests and pleas. After your conversation with Jackson, you had decided that both of you needed a little distracting so you suggested you both took a dip in the water.

The words had barely left your lips before he had ripped his shirt off in excitement. It was comical even. It was like he was waiting for any excuse to be shirtless and you didn’t blame him. You could tell that he worked extremely hard on his body and if you worked half as hard as he seemed to be working, you would probably strut around in next to nothing as well. Sadly, this was not your reality, so you shed your shorts self-consciously and folded them neatly on the mattress.

You had spent the next six-ish hours having Jackson teach you how to surf. He’d assured you that he was a fantastic surfer but as soon as he had gotten on the surfboard, he’d been toppled by the waves. Water ran into his nose and he insisted that he was better than he seemed to be and convinced you to just take his word and let him guide you.

To his surprise, only an hour into a lesson with him, you had surfed your first wave. Jackson had been shocked but ecstatic. He’d found a second surf board, or more so asked the staff to bring another one and challenged you to multiple races at sea.

You could feel the slight sunburn on your shoulders already and slightly under your eyes. You should have been more vigilant with your sunscreen. Luckily, you had remembered to bring some Aloe in case of an emergency and you reapplied the protectant to your body.

Now you sat in the cabana once again at the bar, this time with Jackson at your right. The crew had brought some local tacos for the bachelors to share. You had taken the tripe, and Jackson had taken some beef. He’d given you two of his and you had switched him for two of your own. You squeezed some lime and added some salt on your tacos as he watched in disgust.

“It’s good,” you argued, covering your mouth with your hand.

“Whatever you say.”

“Try it,” You urged.

“If I try it, then you have to try my protein shake.”

Horror filled you to the brim. You remembered from his season of the bachelorette the concoction of foods that he considered breakfast. It was packed full with apples, bananas, and spinach. Then he took it further and added broccoli and chicken. It looked stomach churning.

“Hell no. Eat your bland ass tacos. I’m happy knowing you’re missing out.”

Jackson laughed. Just like the morning, you could feel eyes on the back of your head. Farther down the bar, Jungkook was talking to Yumi. Her long black hair was pulled into a ponytail. She was absolutely adorable. A part of you that hadn’t yet let go of the idea of you and Jungkook got slightly unsettled, but the bigger part of you, the angry part, shrugged it off.

You could see, right before you turned back to your meal, that he was shooting glances at you. You took your Corona beer and bit one of the limes on your plate before taking a swig of the golden liquid. Beer wasn’t your favorite form of alcohol but you couldn’t fathom the idea of eating good tacos without a Corona. Either way, this one wasn’t too strong tasting and the lime made it taste that much better.

“Don’t look now but I think one Kim is looking at you,” Jackson said leaning in close to you. A thrill went through your body. If Jin was looking at you, maybe all hope was not lost.

“What do I do,” you asked, feeling a small amount of panic to run through your body.

“Well, don’t look for one-Y/N!”

It was involuntary. If someone told you not to do something, you had to do it. It was like a tick. So as soon as Jackson had said not to look, you jerked your head behind you, back to where you had seen him sitting with Holly, Taehyung and Kitty to see for yourself.

What you were met with was the back of the heads to Jin and Taehyung. They must have seen you turn and turned back to their…uh dates?

“Jackson, was it Jin or Taehyung who was looking at me,” you asked, realizing they had the same last name.

Jackson opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Soobin who sat on your left. Alex and Yeonjun sat next to him accordingly. You smiled up at the giant of a man.

“Hey Soobin! How has your day been so far?”

Soobin smiled brightly and turned towards you. His knees bumped yours because of the sheer length of him. You scooted back to accommodate him and he ducked his head, embarrassed.

“Hey Y/N, sorry, it was nice. I think I took a nap earlier and I got a pretty weird sunburn,” he said, and now that you looked at him, he was wearing a long sleeve shirt and the area around his neck was really red.

“Oh no… I got a little burned as well. Do you have some Aloe?”

Soobin ruffled his hair, “Yes. I packed some.”

“Oh alright. I was going to offer you mine.”

The conversation lulled then. You could hear people talking all around you. You looked over at Alex from next to Soobin. You smiled but she wouldn’t meet you in the eye. You frowned. She looked a little standoffish.

“Soobin,” you whispered so that he would lean in closer, “Is everything okay with Alex?”

Soobin’s eyes widened. He looked from you to Alex then back at you. Instantly, you could tell that whatever he said next was going to be a lie.

“She is a little sad that she didn’t get to uh... go on the date.”

Soobin scrunched his cute nose and shrugged his shoulders. You couldn’t be sure but based on what Yoongi told you, Alex had made it clear she didn’t want to go.

“Oh I see. Thanks for telling me.”

You turned back to your tacos, only to see that you were missing one. From your right, Jackson coughed and put a napkin to his mouth. You snapped your gaze to him and couldn’t stop yourself from laughing. In his hand was your missing taco which, unbeknown to him, was covered in lime, salt and green salsa.

The salas and lime oozed out of the back end of the tortilla. You watched him down a glass of water.

“This is what you get for being a thief.”

“I was still hungry!”

You rolled your eyes at your friend. Too distracted by the over dramatic gaging that Jackson was doing, you didn’t notice the tension in the Cabana.

It wasn’t until you heard a new female voice that you realized something was up.

“Hey guys,” Jackson’s eyes widened, looking somewhere over your shoulder. You looked over your shoulder. There, in the middle on the Cabana entrance stood none other than Marie. Her kinky hair was styled half up. She was wearing a sheer blue dress and in her manicured hands was a crème envelope.

The second date card had reared its ugly head.

Marie walked over to Jungkook first, hugging him and introducing herself. Instantly, the annoyingly cute act that you had become accustomed to on your season of the bachelor was present. She had been eliminated in a rose ceremony before you. She displayed the face of an angel at first, but as soon as your back was turned, it was all gossip. You had had a bad feeling from the beginning and when you had walked in on her speaking to another of the girls about how ‘fake’ you were, all your suspicions were confirmed.

She moved onto Yumi. Her bright blue, green eyes narrowed slightly. She was looking for ammunition. She talked to Yeonjun next. She was clearly interested in him right off the bat. She twirled a curl in her hands making brief conversation before she winked at him then  moved onto Alex.

Alex seemed less than happy to be touched by Marie. She smiled awkwardly but Marie didn’t waste much time on her. She moved onto Soobin. Though instantly, you could see that he was far too tame for the wild child that was Marie and she seemed to notice it as well.

From Soobin, she took a detour and introduced herself to the table Taehyung and Jin were sitting at. The two boys stood and hugged her politely. Marie held on a little too long to both men. Holly and Kitty glared. You chuckled. Kitty really thought that she was the main runner on this show. Marie was ten times worse than that woman. The enemy of my enemy right?

Finally, Marie walked towards you, her smile faltering slightly. A slew of Camera men and producers had followed her into the Cabana. It was clear they were expecting something to happen. Most likely, they wanted to make sure they caught the interaction between you and her. You wouldn’t give the cameras the satisfaction.

“Y/N! I’m so glad to see you,” she said hugging you before you could protest. You patted her back.

“Marie, how have you been?’

“Swell,” she said, pulling away, “I’m so glad to be back here! It looks like we both got a second chance at love huh?”

“Right, I-”

But she wasn’t much more interested in you. She walked past you and hugged Jackson. Your heart sank. You could feel the eyes on you. Pitying.

You looked out into the sea of cameras and noticed Namjoon was behind one of the men. He had his clipboard and headset on. His eyes met yours instantly, what was meant to be a hiss and an apology escaping his lips. This was one curve ball he hadn’t told you about. You couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at him though. This must have been why he had rushed out of your room earlier that day. He didn’t trust himself to not tell you. You smiled a tight lip smile to signal you were fine. Tears welled in your eyes. The feeling of being ignored or unimportance filled you. You refused to cry. You were an adult. Adults didn’t cry.

“So guys,” Marie began and you swiveled your chair to look at her, now at the opposite end of the cabana, “I do have a date card here. Should I open it?”

A chorus of excited encouragement met her question. She preened at the attention. You struggled to not roll your eyes at her. She opened the envelope rather roughly. Another person who hadn’t gotten the memo that the envelope wasn’t glued shut. She ripped the card inside a little. She giggled at her own incompetence but pushed it aside. Slightly in front of you and to the left was Jackson, his shoulders erect and at attention. He was still not wearing a shirt and you could see Marie ogling his muscles.

“Marie, find a guy that suits your fancy and dress to impress. Your date leaves tonight.”

The riddle was obvious. It was a date where you had to wear something fancy. Possibly a dinner? Either way, it was sure to be amazing if the producers had anything to say about it.

“Who should I pick,” she asked rhetorically. The men in the cabana were all looking at her hopefully. All but one. Jungkook was practically hiding in his arms. He was trying to make himself as small as he possibly could.

“Jungkook,” Marie said, shocking everyone but yourself. Jungkook looked up from his self-made nest and looked up at Marie. There was a good six to eight feet between them but that seemed like it wasn’t enough. His eyes were open wide. Like a deer in headlights. A blush rose to his cheeks and he pointed to himself as if to confirm.

“Yes you silly,” Marie giggled, “would you go on this date with me?”

Silence. Disappointed silence followed her question. Everyone was looking at Jungkook expectantly. You couldn’t look at him, but you could tell he was looking at you.

“I…I guess?”

“Great,” Marie exclaimed, not noticing or caring about his hesitation, “see you tonight.”

Marie walked away then, a small crew of camera men followed her to the rooms. A couple other camera men and producers walked up to the contestants. Namjoon walked up to you. You could tell he felt guilty for not warning you this time around.

“Hey Y/N, we want to do a quick interview if you don’t mind. I also brought you some aloe for your sunburn and a replacement for your mic. You really need to take it off before you go into pools of water.”

“Maybe you guys should get waterproof mics,” you shot back but stood up and followed Namjoon. You looked back to see who else was getting pulled in for an interview. It was not surprising that Jungkook and Jackson were also flocked to. What you did find weird was that Jackson wasn’t looking at his producer. Instead, he was looking at yours.

You watched the two men exchange some strange looks before they both turned back to their jobs. That was undeniably weird.

You didn’t ask Namjoon. It was a brief enough look. It could have been anything. You let Namjoon and his camera man lead you closer to the ocean by a formation of pretty rocks. The waves crashed against them cinematically. Namjoon smiled.

“Here’s good Y/N. I’m just going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer them as if they’re happening in real time. So like ‘I feel that…in this moment I am doing…’ that kind of thing. Got it?”

“Got it chief,” you saluted, instantly cringing at your own actions. There you went again. Why were you always so cringy when he was around? To his credit, Namjoon chuckled and saluted back.

“Fantastic. Okay. So…tell me who arrived and what you are doing while she does.”

You groaned. The interviews were the absolute worst.

“So I’m sitting with Jackson,” you said cautiously, thinking hard about the tense of your words, “and I’m laughing at him because he stole my taco and it has a lot of salsa in it so he’s gulping down water.” You paused again thinking.

“I guess because I am so focused on that, I don’t notice when a new girl comes in.

“Okay great, now tell me how that made you feel,” Namjoon pressed, writing something on his clipboard.

“Well… we all know how much she likes me… so I am not exactly ecstatic about her arrival but she’s here.”

Namjoon paused and looked at you. He winced at your words.

“I’m really sorry to hear that Y/N. Uh… what did-you-feel-when- she-asked-Jungkook-on the-date?”

This last question, he seemed to spit out. He said it so fast that it almost was incoherent. You blinked at him but then it clicked.

“Oh um…I feel nothing really. I’m here for another chance at love and it’s not with Jungkook. He deserves that second chance as well. If it’s with a girl he’s already dated then so be it. But that’s not me.”

Namjoon let a sigh escape his lips. A small smile on his face.

“Okay well, last question. You and Jackson? Is that a thing or…”

“Me and Jackson are just friends.”

“Okay that should tie that up. Thank you, Y/N. Chris,” Namjoon now directed himself at the camera man, “You’re dismissed. I’m just going to mic her again and I’ll be back in a bit.”

Chris nodded and turned his camera off. When he was a decent distance away, Namjoon looked back at you.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t say anything Y/N. I had no way to say something without someone knowing. Can you turn around?”

You complied, “Is it okay if I pull your shirt up a little?”

“Uh yeah,” you said, holding your chest so it didn’t move too much.

“It’s not your fault. I’m sure you would have told me if you could or something. Careful, this is a swim suit. I’m not wearing anything under the top, Namjoon.”

“Wait what?” As if burned, he let go of your bikini top. It plopped against your skin heavily.

“Ow dude that hurt!”

“I’m so sorry,” he said instantly, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just trying to switch your mic. You rolled your eyes.

“It’s okay. I’m fine, you’re fine. Just switch it.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Namjoon tentatively grabbed the edge of your top again and shimmied it up your torso. You felt his hands cautiously take the short circuited mic from the little compartment in the skin color band he’d helped you in that morning. His fingertips grazed your skin.

“How’s it looking boss?”

“I’m not the boss of you Y/N,” Namjoon said, “I’m just your handler.”

“I know Namjoon. Is my sunburn really obvious?”

Namjoon didn’t say anything. You felt him slip the new mic in the pouch and then flip the on switch. He fiddled with the knob of the volume for a second before he pulled your top over the tan band.

“Say something.”

“Namjoon is my handler and not my boss,” you laughed. You turned to look at him and noticed the blush in his cheeks. You’d missed him today. Maybe you would break more mics just to talk to him.

“Okay that should be good. Here,” he held out a blue, cold bottle of gel, “put this on. You’re starting to look a little past sunkissed.”

“Yes sir,” you said, eagerly taking the bottle of what you knew was aloe. You squeezed a small amount and plopped it on your shoulder. The cooling sensation was instant. Relief swept through you.

“Can you put it on my face? I can’t see where I need it,” you said holding it out to him as you rubbed it into your neck.

“Yeah, sure.”

Namjoon placed his clipboard between his legs then squirted a little lotion on his enormous hand. Your eyes widened as he took a single long finger and dipped it in the blob in his wide palm.

“Namjoon, your hands are huge,” you said.

Namjoon raised an eyebrow, “maybe your hands are small. Did you think of that Y/N?” With the most careful touch he could muster, he evenly placed the cooling gel under your eyes and on the tip of your nose. He gently massaged it in. You closed your eyes enjoying the sensation. That is until he booped your nose.

“Hey!”

“Sorry I couldn't help it. You have a boopable nose.”

“Okay yeah whatever. Do I need some anywhere else?” you asked, turning so he could look at you. His eyes raked your body methodically, as if scanning.

“You look okay for now. Just keep putting sunscreen on and put more of this lotion on at night after your shower. I’ll leave it in your room okay?”

“I already have some in my room,” you pointed out.

“This one was in the fridge. It’s much more effective.”

“Fine. Take it to my room but it’s going to be not cold by the time I get there.”

Namjoon and yourself started to walk back to the cabana where people were still eating. Jackson and Jungkook seemed to be done with their interviews as well as they were back to their old seats.

“You underestimate me,” Namjoon feigned hurt, placing a hand over his heart, “just trust me.”

“I do. You might be number one of two people I trust at this moment.”

Marie was also back. She had taken Yumi’s seat at the bar, a long island iced tea in her perfect hands. She was laughing at whatever Jungkook had just said. Jungkook seemed a little less surprised now. He smiled kindly at her, not even glancing in your direction. You felt a little hurt. Maybe he wasn’t there for you. As you said your goodbye to Namjoon, you returned to your seat near Jackson. He looked downcast.

“Hey, did I miss anything?”

Jackson was looking at Marie and Jungkook. He swirled a finger in a green drink that you couldn’t identify.

“Maybe.”

You spent the next hour and a half taking a shower, doing a treatment on your hair, drying it, then straightening and curling it. The sun had not been kind to your hair over the last two days and in all honesty, you weren’t helping it but you couldn’t help trying to fix it. Your hair had a history of being unruly and frizzy. You wanted to tame it as much as you could.

You applied a thick layer of sunscreen on your body before changing into a weaved, tie-dyed navy blue dress and some brown sandals. Your hair was half up with some wispy hairs surrounding your face.  When you were done, it was around five thirty. You waited in your room for a little longer, needing a small reprieve from people and cameras, at least physical cameras. You looked through your phone. Messaged your family that everything was okay then scrolled through social media. You were starting to doze off.

A knock at your door startled you awake. You checked your phone and realized that it was almost seven then. For a second, you thought you imagined the knocks but there they were again. You swung your legs off your bed. It must be Namjoon. He was the only one who knew which room was yours. Maybe he was dropping off the gel for sunburns. Regardless, you welcomed the idea of seeing him so you hurried over to the door and pulled it open without inquiring.

“Hey Nam- Jungkook?”

Alas, it was Jungkook who was behind your door, patiently waiting for you to open. He was dressed for his date already. He was wearing an obviously soft white button up with crystal buttons. The top two were left open. His muscular chest peaked out at you. His smart jacket was left open and was boxy. Stripes of darker black ran up his arms, one rested on the door frame, the other in the pocket of his black wide leg slacks. He seemed to be a little taller as well, unless you hadn’t noticed your height difference before then, but that seemed unlikely. He shifted his weight, his pants riding up slightly, and you noticed that his dress shoes had a slight lift.

A strand of wavy hair fell into his eyes. Fear was evident in them but also was that hope you saw?

“Yeah, hi,” he said, sticking his other hand in his pocket as well, then quickly thinking better of it and hiding both hands behind his body. You waited as he fidgeted for a bit longer. He was obviously nervous.

“Y/N,” you said as if to introduce yourself, “I was on your season of the bachelor.”

Jungkook blushed, his tattooed hand running through his hair to distract himself from your words.

“I knew that,” he assured, still not meeting your eyes.

“Well, if you say so, but you haven’t said my name once since you arrived here. I’m starting to think that you can’t physically say my name,” you joked. Behind him, you could see that a camera man had followed him. He must have told them something.

When he said nothing, you spoke again, “I don’t know if you’re looking for Marie but this is the wrong room.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened, “Oh no! I came to find you.”

“Uh, why?”

You crossed your arms, genuinely confused. The card that Marie had read hadn’t been specific enough to tell the time but judging by Jungkook’s attire it was soon. So why was he here instead of with his date?

“I was waiting for you to come back to the cabana but you never did- to talk to you!- and so I went to get ready but I just really wanted to clear the air before…well before I went. Tell you why I’m going.”

“Jungkook, you don’t owe me an explanation for why you are going on another date.”

Jungkook looked taken aback, he scratched his nose. You could tell that he was hot in his outfit. His forehead was starting to sweat.

“I feel like I do,” he admitted, looking over your shoulder.

“Oh um, do you want to come in?” You stepped aside but Jungkook didn’t walk in.

“I just came to say that…I came here for you.”

Your heart stopped. You suddenly felt tiny and far away.

“When they offered me the spot here, in Paradise, I was going to turn it down but when they mentioned that you would be here…” he paused then took a deep breath as if it was hard for him to say, “When they said to me ‘Y/N is going to be there’ I didn’t hesitate.”

Suddenly, you didn’t know how to stand. You fidgeted with your dress, balling and unbaling your hands in the thin fabric.

“I needed to see you and while I realize that right now isn’t the right time to talk about all of this, I just want you to know…the first date card that I get, I will use it on you.”

Silence rang through your small room. Your heart was racing. You felt your mouth open and close but no words were leaving your mouth. Your brain had gone fuzzy. You didn’t know how to feel. What were you supposed to say?

Jungkook seemed to be waiting for you to say something, anything, but after a minute or so of you acting like a goldfish, he sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“I hope you will consider it Y/N,” he stressed, “have a nice night.”

And with that, he and the cameraman were gone.

It wasn’t a surprise to you that Namjoon showed up not too long after that incident with the same camera man from before. Your door was open wide and you were sitting on your bed. You were blank. All emotions seemed to have left you. You felt nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Maybe it would scare you if you could feel anything at all.

Namjoon knocked on the door tentatively, even though he could have walked in if he wanted to. In normal circumstances, you would have thought this was sweet of him.

“Y/N? Is it okay to come in?” He peeked his head around the corner. When his eyes landed on you, genuine concern shot through him.

“Chris, can you give me a minute to talk to her?”

You weren’t paying enough attention but Namjoon walked in cautiously and quickly looking around the room. In a matter of seconds, he had covered the multiple cameras that were hidden around the small space. He kneeled down before you. His legs spread so that your legs were between his own. He looked up at you, his big brown eyes scared and sad.

He raised his hands so that you could see them and you could, but you didn’t react. His hands were up like a stick up by his head. A question in his eyes. When you didn’t move, he began to lower his hands slowly. He placed them both on your knees. The sensation instantly grounding you from whatever place you had been floating.

“Namjoon I-”

Quickly, he held up a finger to your lips then pointed at his head set. You understood. They could hear you. Namjoon looked at your phone, which sat next to your body innocently. He grabbed it then held it up for you to unlock.

You took it from his hands and did as he implied, then handed it back to him. Quickly, he typed then held it up for you to read. His hand not holding the phone went back to your knee.

I wanted to check in on you before we interviewed. Are you okay?

You looked down at him. He raised an eyebrow as if to punctuate his text. You nodded. Air seemed fresher all of a sudden. You could feel your heart beating in your chest. Instead of a blank mind, it was once again buzzing. You touched your chest over your heart with your right hand. The thumping was confirmation. You were ok. Why had you reacted that way to Jungkook’s confession?

Namjoon watched you carefully. His eyes scanned you from head to toe. He squeezed your knee and it was then that you realized that he was touching you once again. Just like the last time, his touch was comforting to you. His warmth engulfed you.

I’m okay. Let’s get this over with.

You typed. You hesitated.

Thank you for checking on me…you’re a good friend.

You handed the phone back to him so he could read. He removed his hands from your clothed knees and read what you’d written. His lips stretched over his teeth, his dimples making an appearance. You felt your whole body buzz. You liked to be the cause of his smile. He must have read it over a couple of times, his smile kept growing.

He finally looked up at you. His white teeth showing- were they always this perfect?- his eyes sparkling. He winked at you then gave your knee one last squeeze before he stood up, uncovered the cameras and walked out to get the camera man.

You tried your best to pull yourself together, ruffling your hair slightly, then self-consciously combing it so it was flat to your head.

When Namjoon walked in, he was all professional. Any hints of the small moment you had shared before was hidden but not gone. He winked at you once more. A silent reminder that he had your back and even though the camera was around, you felt at ease.

The interview was quick and painless. You realized that if you pretended that you were talking to Namjoon instead of a camera, then it was much easier to get your feelings across. When you were done, Chris and Namjoon left together with a small bow and you felt much more ready to face the group.

You walked towards the cabana only to find that no one was there. You could hear voices in the distance. You followed the sounds of laughter. They were again by the pool and the jacuzzi. The sun was already setting. People were sitting around the pool and on chairs. Everyone seemed happy. Excited. You wished it could stay this way. But you had seen this show before. You knew it wouldn’t last. You were happy that you could enjoy it while it lasted.

Jackson was the first one to notice you. His shirt was off. You weren’t even surprised. He was dripping wet. Droplets of water slithered down his body and in the crevices of defined muscle. He smiled at you.

“Ayeee, Y/L/N! Where have you been?”

Jackson bounded up to you, his wet hair bouncing on his head as he ran closer to you. On instinct, you help your hands out to stop him short. He bumped right into your outstretched palm, his arms open as if he was going to give you a hug.

“No, no. I showered. I’m sunburned. I do not want you to get me wet.”

“How did you know I was going to do that,” he pouted.

“Instinct,” you shrugged, side stepping him. He followed you up to where the rest of the group was. Kitty and Holly were both in skimpy bikinis in the pool with Taehyung, who had also forgone his shirt. He wasn’t defined like Jackson, but you wouldn’t say that he was hard to look at. His hair was plastered to his head.

Jin was wearing the same swim trunks from earlier but he had changed into a more comfortable looking t-shirt. He was only dipping his feet and Holly was hovering around him. He wouldn’t look at you. Yumi was sitting a little bit away from him, looking like she wanted to talk to him, but the shark in the pool seemed to stop her.

Hoseok and Jimin were chilling in the hot tub. Both shirtless. Both, strangled tones. Under the blue light and slight bubbles, you could make out a tattoo on Jimin’s torso. Words of some sort that you couldn’t read. To your surprise, Alex was sitting in the hot tub with the two boys. Her head barely sticking out of the water. She might have even been floating because the hot tub was a little too deep. She also wouldn’t look at you.

Briefly, you remembered what Soobin had said to you about her being upset at not going on the date with Yoongi. Had she actually wanted to go and you and Yoongi misunderstood?

Soobin and Yeonjun were sitting at the shallow end of the pool sipping on beers and chatting. You hadn’t seen Yeonjun talk to anyone in the villa so far and he was highly attractive. Maybe he was waiting for someone specific. If he was lucky, over the course of the week, that person might arrive.

“Hey guys,” you said shyly, quickly realizing that you were off on the wrong foot with more people than you would have liked.

Yumi smiled and you thought of that as a safe invitation to sit next to her. You would give Alex some room and hopefully she would talk to you when she felt ready. Yumi’s smile brightened. You crossed your legs, making sure that your dress covered you up.

“Where have you been Y/N,” Taehyung said, swimming closer to you. Kitty wasn’t far behind.

“Yeah, we all totally missed you,” she said, a fake smile on her freckled face.

“I wanted to shower. I was covered in sand from surfing with Jackson all day,” you said with a light chuckle.

The aforementioned man chose that moment to cannon ball into the pool. A wave of water instantly covered you from your lap to your stomach. Shock was your first reaction. Indignation the second.

“Jackson!”

You looked over at Yumi, who had been wearing some cute jean shorts and a white top, and were horrified to see that she too had gotten soaked. From across the pool, you could hear Jin’s squeaky laugh and Holly’s ironically silent one. You glared at Jin but he only shrugged finally meeting your eyes.  Maybe this would be punishment enough for you in his eyes. The day hadn’t been an easy one. What with Marie showing up, your brief lack of feeling and your weird habit of being completely soaked when you didn’t want to be. Did twice warrant a habit?

When Jackson surfaced and saw what he had done, saw the fire in your eyes, he cowered before he burst out laughing. He swam closer to you.

“Sorry Y/L/N,” he said hanging on the pool edge, “I swear I didn’t mean to get you wet I swear.”

You growled at him but before you could snap at him again, Taehyung’s hands were on your wet legs. Unlike Namjoon’s touch, Taehyung’s made you unsure and tense. Especially when Kitty was so close. He squeezed your calf softly. Your eyes snapped to him. His expression was sultry, his hair slightly wavy.

“You might as well come in. Your dress is already wet.” He picked at the seam as if to make his point. His bottom lip was pulled between his teeth innocently. It was so easy to be pulled into Taehyung’s bubble. It was smooth and dark. He made you feel like you were alone even when the room was full. Like a siren on sailors, he lured you in with his smooth voice and good looks and what came next, you weren’t sure.

“I-I can’t break another mic. Namjoon would kill me,” you said pointedly.

Taehyung rolled his eyes.

“They have like millions of mics. Come on,” he tapped the surface of the water, “It’s warm.”

“I can’t swim,” you lied, as if this would save you but you had gone into the ocean earlier and on a date where you needed to swim on the bachelor so no one was believing you.

Taehyung clearly knew this. His head tilted as if to say “Seriously?”

“I’ll protect you Y/N. I promise,” he found your ankles and gently unfolded your legs, pulling your feet, sandals and all into the illuminated pool. He was right. The water was warm from the day and the blue tint of the light was so inviting. Chlorine stung your nostrils and you could almost hear Namjoon’s exasperation at having to replace your mic twice in one day, but you let him pull you forward.

Yumi put a hand on your shoulder but your eyes were locked on Taehyung’s. He was temptation. He was the devil incarnate. He was lust like you hadn’t ever felt before.

“Get a room,” someone yelled, and only this broke your spell.

You looked around for the source and realized it had been Jimin. He had a wide smile on his plush lips. He giggled when you looked at him, his eyes squinting prettily.

“Be cool Min,” Taehyung chastised, caressing your calf. You could see Kitty fuming. She was watching the way that Taehyung was touching you. You wondered if he did this to her as well.

“You’re eye fucking her in public. Why don’t you be cool,” Jimin asked, stepping out of the hot tub and slithering into the pool. He shivered as the much cooler water touched his smooth skin. He swam over to you two, accidentally pushing the brunette girl away.

“Am not,” Taehyung argued, “Right Y/N?”

Both men looked up at you expectantly. You shook your head.

“I guess not.”

“See? Settled. Come one Y/N. Jump in the pool,” Taehyung pressured.

Like a switch, Jimin looked up at you.

“It’s nice and warm,” he singsonged.

“Come on Y/L/N, don’t be a weenie,” Jackson added. Your eyes widened. Jackson too?

You looked at Yumi, confusion on your face. Yumi blinked back at you, her pretty face nearly as confused as yours.

“What do you think, Yumi? Should I jump in?”

A chorus of your name began to go around the small group of people. Mostly the men save for Jin chanted it over and over.

“Do you want to?” She asked, squeezing your shoulder comfortingly.

“I’ll do it if you do it,” I bargained as the chanting became louder, “This way, at least my producer won’t be the only one upset.” Yumi chuckled, “Okay let’s do it.”

At Yumi’s proclamation the men cheered as if their favorite team had scored. Yumi stood and helped you up. She was such a gentle person. You wished you had talked to her sooner.

She held out her hand for you to take.

“Move out of the way,” You warned. They left you some leeway and you and Yumi gave yourself some room.

“On three?” She asked.

“Okay,” you agreed.

You counted down together, then on three ran towards the pool. You were submerged in seconds. The water pressed against your skin. When you came up, you were instantly pulled onto someone.

Your hand was torn from Yumi’s and your body pulled away. On instinct, you wrapped your legs around the person’s torso. You came face to face with none other than Kim Taehyung and his smug, triumphant smile.

“Hey there gorgeous,” he whispered, knowing that no one could hear. Your heart thumped wildly in your chest at his proximity. Memories of the day before plagued you. This time though, there were way more people around.

“Look who’s back,” Hoseok yelled. Grateful for the excuse to look away from Taehyung, you looked around wondering if Jungkook and Marie had come back early even though that didn’t make any logical sense.

Instead, you were met with the sight of a really smiley Julie and a softly smiling Yoongi. Their hands interlocked. They were casually walking closer to the group. Jackson wolf whistled and Hoseok clapped as they neared.

“Do I see a smile on your face, hyung?” Jimin yelled teasingly. From the short distance, you could see him roll his eyes.

“You have no respect, Park Jimin,” he yelled back but his smile only grew.

He was wearing a pair of black shorts and a nice summery blue shirt with some sandals. Julie was wearing a cute ruffled top and some high waisted shorts. Just by their outfits, you couldn’t tell what they had done. You were impatient to know. They seemed to have had fun on their date.

“How was the date,” Yumi asked as they finally neared enough to not have to yell. Julie smiled brightly at her and pulled her shoes off so she could dangle them in the pool. When she noticed that Yumi and yourself were fully clothed, she squinted but didn’t ask.

“Careful,” you warned, “That’s how we got pulled into the pool.”

It was when she raised an eyebrow at you that you realized what a compromising position you were in. You quickly unwrapped your legs from Taehyung’s torso and stood on your ruined shoes. You tried to get away but Taehyung followed and wrapped his arms around your waist. His torso to your back and his head on your shoulder. You couldn’t bring yourself to push him away.

“Yeah well, it was great! Yoongi and I took a bachata class and then we got to go explore the city,” she gushed as Yoongi took his own shoes off and sat down next to Julie with a groan.

“Wow hyung you danced,” Hoseok asked, also switching to the pool unceremoniously to better listen.

“Yes. I danced, is that so hard to believe?”

“Well it took six alarms to wake you up this morning and the last time I saw you do any real work outs you napped after five minutes so…”

Yoongi splashed water at his friend, a chuckle escaping his baby lips. Yoongi was unbelievably cute, you thought, and he seemed to be into Julie, or at the very least, the date.

“He was actually really good,” Julie laughed, “I was the one struggling to be honest.”

Yoongi smiled gratefully at her and placed a hand on her thigh. Julie placed her own hand on his and entwined their fingers. Just like that, you watched the first couple in paradise form.

It was midnight before Jungkook and Marie were back at the villa. It was a general consensus that you would all wait for them to return to inquire about their date and also to see if two couples were formed that day. Your hands were pruny, and your body felt heavy from being in the water for so long, but Taehyung refused to let you leave. So your dress floated around you ethereally.

He’d managed to pull you closer to Jin and Holly who seemed less than bothered with your existence. Kitty had given up trying to get his attention for the night and was now chatting up Yeonjun on the other end of the pool. Jin and Taehyung were having pleasant conversation, but when you tried to answer, Jin only looked at you, then changed the subject. At this point, you weren’t sure if he was punishing you for the morning, or for the way that you were being held.

Namjoon hadn’t come around to fix your mic either. You assumed that there was no need since you were still in the water.

When Jungkook and Marie showed up, it was both a sigh of relief and an added tension. He had poured his heart out to you and he was coming back to the sight of you in the arms of another man. Guilt ripped through you. You tried once again to get Taehyung to let you go but he tightened his hold and buried his head in your neck.

“Hey Kook! How was the date,” he called out as they neared the pool. Marie was smiling widely, her A- line dress fluttered in the wind. Jungkook was also smiling. His hand was clasped firmly in Marie’s hand. You didn’t expect it, but his smile and affection felt like a punch to the gut.

He looked over to you guys and his smile flattened when his eyes landed on the way that Taehyung was holding you.

“Uh yeah. Good date. We had dinner,” he explained.

“It was amazing,” Marie confirmed, “We had a table on a glass, water covered floor. There were fish swimming under us as we ate. And the food,” she gasped clutching at her chest as if it physically hurt her, “it was prepared by a five star chef.”

“Sounds like you guys hit it off,” Taehyung encouraged.

“I think so,” Marie giggled, nuzzling her nose against Jungkook’s cheek. He didn’t stop her. He smiled brightly, pulling his eyes from you and shrugging his shoulders in embarrassment.

“Looks like we have two couples set up in paradise then,” Yeonjun said wisely.

“Looks like it,” Taehyung agreed. If you would have looked at him, you would have seen a satisfied smirk on his face.

Taehyung sat in front of the camera comfortably. His face expressionless, waiting for Namjoon to begin the interview. He’d done many of these before and he knew exactly what he needed to say. He’d learned from his first show and he wasn’t going to make the same mistake. He wouldn’t let himself be hurt that way ever again.

It was a couple of minutes before Namjoon held up his clipboard and pushed up his glasses on his nose. There was a weird tension that Taehyung couldn’t put his finger on but he didn’t read into it.

Namjoon cleared his throat.

“Okay Taehyung, I just have a couple of questions and then you can go to sleep. That okay?”

“Sure hyung,” Taehyung answered instantly, smiling sweetly at his elder.

“Okay, roll the camera Chris,” he said. Chris nodded then held up a thumb to signal he was ready.

“Okay. How do you feel about the two couples in Paradise so far?”

“Julie and Yoongi hyung seem like a nice couple. I knew when I saw them leave that they would fit nicely together. As for Jungkook and Marie…” he paused, not sure what he wanted to reveal just yet, “they seem okay, but if Kook didn’t like her before, I don’t see why he would like her now. He eliminated her from his season for a reason.”

Namjoon nodded.

“Honestly though, I hope she keeps him for a while. I like being able to mess around with Y/N.”

Namjoon looked up sharply, his expression gave nothing away but Taehyung felt that tension again. Where was it coming from?

“What about Kitty?”

Taehyung laughed, “She’s fun to mess around with as well.”

“So, you haven’t decided on a girl then.” Namjoon tried to clarify.

“It’s the second day hyung! I have six weeks to figure it out and this time, I’m not going to get hurt. I can promise you that.”

Namjoon wrote something on his clipboard then, without looking up, he asked the last question.

“You think that both women like you?” His voice was strained but Taehyung  chalked it up to having worked all day. Namjoon seemed tired. He felt a little sorry for him. Late nights and early mornings. Not the best job in the world.

“What’s not to like?” he asked cockily, his mouth pulled into a devilish smirk. He chuckled, then winked at the camera.

Namjoon patted Chris on the shoulder and the camera was off. Taehyung smiled at his hyung and though Namjoon returned it, it felt stressed. Or forced. Again, he chalked it up to his exhaustion. He bowed politely.

“Is that all, Namjoon hyung?”

“Yeah Taehyung. Have a nice rest.” Namjoon didn’t look at him. He walked over to a Styrofoam cooler and placed the paper he had been writing on, on top, then taped it so it would stay. He found it weird but he didn’t question. Taehyung bowed once again, the tension thickening before he walked out of the recording room and towards his bed room.

Things were going to be different this time. Taehyung would make sure of it. Even if he had to be the one doing the hurting.

Tag list:

If you want to be tagged send me an ask:)

@embrace-themagic​ @monvieesdaebak 

[smolie]

in december i wrote a 2020 year music review for myself that i intended to post here BUT...because i was infamously restricted twice last year, i didn’t bother since you wouldn’t be able to read it anyway because it was not possible to view my blog hjfdhfd

now that my restricted era is (hopefully forever) over i just want to post it here for the sake of completion since i want to do the same thing this year

this is really long so if you actually read it ... idk you are insane in the membrane and i love you... but i genuinely don’t expect anyone to read this hjfdhjf i just like reflecting on the music i have listened to and be able to look back on what i enjoyed in certain stages of my life! okiiii bye 💗

january

mac miller - circles (album) it’s a bit funny that i worried putting my thoughts down about this album and now it turns out to be first on the list, chronologically of course … oh bittersweet irony </3 listening to this album is such a double edged sword, either way i am always hit with a truckload of feelings when i turn to this release.

this album came to me in a time of my life where i was slowly but surely sliding down towards rock bottom again just after i got out of it and thought i was okay. the times i’ve listened to this crying in the bathtub with a glass of wine….girl let’s not lol…. it’s almost strange how much i can relate to the thoughts another person brought to paper. the comfort this album brings me is otherworldly, i feel so understood by mac’s words and it’s my go-to “wallow in self-pity for a bit then come out stronger than before” album. then again, i feel a little sting when any of mac’s songs come on shuffle. a friend of mine said she cannot listen to artists who have passed because it feels too strange and most of the time i agree but this time, it’s so so different. this album would have been mac’s salvation, i can feel it. everything would have been a bit brighter and lighter for him after this, it would have had to be. i feel like i would do him a disservice if i did not listen to this album, so i will cherish this final gift from him as his legacy and my comfort. i miss him incredibly and am all the more thankful he shared his heart with us.

album favs: circles, good news, surf

tiny meat gang - broke bitch (single) MAN I TELL THAT BROKE BITCH IF YOU WANNA GET IN TUNE BETTER CHANGE YOUR WHOLE PITCH LIKE WOAH !!!!!!!!!! did that give you whiplash? hehe funny to say this about a song called broke bitch by a duo called tiny meat gang but this song actually means a lot to me! it came out shortly before their show in berlin and i almost exclusively listened to it on my 7+ hours train ride from one side of the country to the other to see my meat boys. this played out of the fat ass speakers at the venue when they stepped on the stage and i will never forget meeting them :’) also the song fucking slaps obviously

february

loona - [#] (mini album) ah yes, the most controversial loona release to date! i’m not gonna lie and say this sounded anything like i expected it to. but also, i have come to terms with the fact that loona release noise music now and personally i am here for it. why not did not have the endless energy of hi high or otherworldly vibe of butterfly, but it’s a hype song and i am always there for hype. i also have to say the b-sides were not as strong for me as on previous releases but i think i have to come to peace with the fact that loona will never top their debut mini for me. though if i can wish for one thing…… let loona have title tracks with a chorus in 2021? pls? crumbs?

album favs: so what, oh (yes i am)

tame impala - the slow rush (album) *lights cigarette* i’m listening to pretty underground music….i don’t think you’ve heard of this band….they are called tame impala *intro of the less i know the better starts playing* yes i am a basic white bitch and listen to like 3 alternative bands but damn i listen to them religiously. like any other basic bitch on this planet i found out about tame impala through the less i know the better and checked out their music. i wasn’t too much into this album as i was into currents but towards the end of the year, i was in a moody alternative music slump that took me back to this album and i like it a lot more now! most importantly, tame impala fulfills my primitive urge to listen to songs that exceed the 4 minute mark. something clicks in my brain when i see a song that is like 6:34 and chances that it ends up as one of my faves on a album are high. i enjoy tiktok like everyone else but this trend of 2:50 long songs needs to be stopped immediately.

album favs: borderline, lost in yesterday, it might be time, is it true, posthumous forgiveness

honorary mentions: onlyoneof - dOra maar, everglow - dundun

march

nct 127 - neo zone (album) ah, yes. the album that fundamentally changed me as a person <3 i’ve been listening to nct for a while, matter of fact i checked my top tracks 2019 playlist on spotify and cherry bomb was on there lol. i remember trying to get into them in 2018 when they released their regular-irregular album but the endless member & unit concept scared me off, so i only listened to a handful of songs without looking into them march 2020, the fateful month in which they released kick it and screencaps of jaehyun’s sexy ass tiddies in the kick it mv landed on my tumblr or twitter and i HAD to look up who this man is…...remember when i thought jaehyun was my ult for like, 2 weeks? me neither, johnny suh only in this house <3

anyway, i checked out this album and by god, is this pure kpop perfection. last time i listened to a god tier no skip album like this was … maybe the perfect red velvet? hype songs, well crafted ballads, love songs that make me wanna learn the lyrics, genuinely fun and interesting pop songs, this album has it all. somehow, the way this album is crafted greatly reminds me of brown eyed girls’ sound-g, it has the same vibe, concept and mix of genres to me, i’m not entirely sure how to explain. anyway, this album is one of my favorites of all time and even though i’ve obsessively listened to it (lastfm says 1.4k scrobbles as of today, december 7th…) i am still not tired of this. i recommend this to anyone who loves kpop tbh, you will have a good time with this!

other than being just a musically solid album, the emotional ties i have with this are …. isabel stop making albums your emotional support 2021 challenge. i’ve listened to this release all spring lockdown, this basically played at every waking hour for all of march and april. the promotion time of this era and lockdown are deeply intertwined for me and so i am always remembered of all the nct content i consumed during that time which inevitably cheered me up so much. this album really means a lot to me :’)

album favs: kick it, mad dog, love song, boom

honorary mentions: itzy - wannabe,

the weeknd - after hours (album) my dear melchanoly, was one of my favorite releases of 2018, so i had been desperate for a new release by abel and boy did he not disappoint. the perfect thotty, dirty emo 80s, making it clap while crying in the club album! this is a no skip from top to bottom and all i can say is that the grammys can go to hell <3 abel aoty! there is really not much i can say about this album, the flawless production, lyrics and sound speak for themself. my only criticism is that i feel overwhelmed by 14 songs, especially when some of them are really long. a few songs greatly overshadow the weaker tracks on the album for me but i still love this to death.

album favs: escape from LA, blinding lights, after hours, faith

dua lipa - future nostalgia (album) after the weeknd’s masterpiece of an 80s inspired pop album i was really looking forward to this. i greatly enjoyed the pre-releases, i played don’t start now and physical up and down, they are still some of my favorite songs released this year! when i first listened to the album i really liked it, songs like boys will be boys or pretty please sound like fillers to be but the rest is solid. yet a month after release you couldn’t catch me listening to this and i cannot even really tell you why. i think it was a combination of the following: 1) i greatly overplayed dsn and physical to the point where i didn’t want more of the pop 80s sound that the album has 2) there were other releases at the time that caught my attention and interest more like neo zone or after hours 3) dua herself….girl….she really gave it her all this year to make herself as unlikeable as possible. nationalist propaganda and the constant traveling during a fucking pandemic were really the kicker. i can barely stand seeing her on my instagram feed anymore, much less listen to her album. her having the nerve to go “we’re in a pandemic lol” when people asked about an animated music video …. if you don’t shut the hell up lmao … also, she takes the crown for the corniest album opener of all time. i nearly closed spotify when i heard future nostalgia (the song) lmao

album favs: don’t start now, physical, levitating, hallucinate

honorary mentions: megan thee stallion - savage

april

apink - dumhdurum (song)

listen, i’m not gonna sit here and pretend like this mini album interested me in the slightest but god, the title is such a banger.i’m so sick, eung eung and dumhdurum are a holy trilogy that i will defend until the end of time! i really hope apink stick to this mature, elegant concept, it suits them so well and goes well with their new sound. come back soon queens <3

rina sawayama - xs (song) i feel like i’m gonna catch some hands here … xs is an absolute banger, the guitar riffs and disruptive sounds really get me going every damn time! but the rest of the album … tell me why it doesn’t catch me?! i literally cannot explain. i need to take an hour, sit down and do nothing but listen to the album from top to bottom once again and see if my thoughts change but right now i only care about xs.

chungha - stay tonight (song) drama! vocals! dance break! choreography! this release served it all. i listened to this obsessively during the time of the release and it still holds up today. can we talk about the run chungha had with gotta go > snapping > stay tonight? lord have mercy.

honorary mentions: april - lalalilala, nct dream - ridin’

may

lady gaga - chromatica (album) the immense disappointment i have in this album is tough to put into words lol. any other artist might have gotten away with this release but gaga having the discography that she has, well … she doesn’t get away with it. this has underwhelming all over it. i enjoyed the pre-releases and my hope was high but the rest just doesn’t live up what i expected, i can’t even say why. it’s just underwhelming pop for someone of gaga’s calibre. i listened to this album during release week and then never again till december to write this list and i can see why.

album favs: rain on me, sour candy ft. blackpink, stupid love

baekhyun - delight (mini album) it’s confession time … this is a name i never would have expected on any of my music lists to end up. exo has always been one of those boy groups i casually listened to. i greatly enjoy their title tracks and a handful of side tracks, i have a few members that i keep an eye on more than others but that’s about it. baekhyun was never one of those members i had any interest in, matter of fact i always thought he was kinda vanilla and boring 😭 i didn’t even plan on listening to this release if it wasn’t for his association with superm and thus nct, so i gave it a shot and we have no choice but to stan. his voice is like butter and can cut sharp at the same time, his versatility is insane. i dived a bit more into baekhyun related content and he is so likeable, it’s almost ridiculous. this production is absolute god tier, not a single skip on this mini. late spring/early summer i had this weird urge to listen to songs with mellow voices but still a banger instrumental and i wholeheartedly blame this release. matter of fact, this album is so good, i had to buy a physical copy. Y’ALL. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. i haven’t bought a kpop album of anyone that’s not holy top 3 (brown eyed girls, loona, nct) in like … idk, 5 years?! baekhyun’s impact. i’m a fan now <3

album favs: candy, r u ridin’?, love again

ak aussenkontrolle - in meinem benz (song) this … is very unrelated to this entirely list but i had to put it on here. i miss my ex boss and our 3 hour drives to meetings in the south of the country where we would blast trashy german rap music </3

nct 127 - neo zone: the final round (repackage) *airhorns* REEEPACKAGE TIIIIIME!!! my first nct era that i experienced from start to finish! i remember watching nct 127’s beyond live with luna where these mfs performed punch and we finished the concert having no idea what this song sounded like. the structure is so unusual and the intro catches me off-guard every time just to hype me up beyond compare. not gonna lie, the fact that johnny has exactly one (1) line hurts but! it’s my favorite line of the entire song! possibly related to the fact that it’s his line but let’s ignore that ….

album favs: punch, make your day

kim woo seok - red moon (song) i’m not even gonna lie to you. i have not a single idea who this man is. you could put him right in front of me and i wouldn’t know … all i know is that he has a banger song. i saw him perform this on a music show that i watched for nct and i ended up loving the song … thanks for your service sir, whoever you are ...

june

stray kids - go live (album) 2020 was kind of the year of boy groups for me, i’m so sorry … stray kids promoted simultaneously with nct 127 so i ended up hearing their title track and holy hell, is that a song. god’s menu is hype from start to finish. it reminds me of good ol’ 2nd gen noise boy group song a lá b*g b*ng fantastic baby. just pure hype and fun noise. i am forever grateful to witness the birth of the line cooking like a chef, i’m a five star michelin. the title track impressed me so much that i ended up checking out the entire album which i rarely ever do with boy groups and what is even rarer is that i enjoyed the b sides lmao!!! it’s not an album that i would put on and just enjoy from start to finish but it has some really solid tracks! this release made me want to keep an eye on stray kids, they seem like a really fun bunch.

album favs: god’s menu, TA, airplane

seventeen - left & right (song) the boy group run continues … same thing with stray kids, seventeen promoted during punch era so i heard their song while watching some music station show for nct and i heard this and was sold. solid, fun pop with the catchiest pre-chorus in history and a banger chorus. i listened to the entire mini and can’t say it really caught my interest so this is a title track only release for me.

dishonorary mentions: twice - more & more (i hate this song so much lol)

honorary mentions: ryu sejeong - tiger eyes, monsta x - fantasia, chloe x halle - do it

july

irene & seulgi - monster (mini) this is a weird release because it’s good. the title track is fun enough, the b sides are dope. but my issue with this is that it’s nothing new. this sounds exactly like a red velvet release. i get that they didn’t want to a  joy, seulgi, irene, yeri release only and went for the sub-unit route instead, but why not be experimental and stray away from the usual sound of the group? also, whoever made monster and not naughty the title track deserves to be spat on. at least the choreography here is more interesting and “experimental” for kpop standards. also, why only a seulgi solo and no irene? i have no idea how reveluvs reacted to this release but this has rushed written all over it.

album favs: monster, naughty (i’m counting this to the mini idc), uncover

exo-sc - 1 billion views (mini) doing my part as a filthy casual exo listener. this release goes in the same category as baekhyun’s delight where i like the album so much that i HAD to get a physical copy. i don’t know what they put in the title track for it to be so diddly darn addictive but it clearly worked. the only bad thing about this release is how criminally mismanaged it was by sm, when i get you lee sooman ...

album favs: 1 billion views, on me, say it

baekhyun - garden in the air (song) i told you i’m a loyal baekhyun fan now <3 king releases and i listen, that’s just how it goes now! this is a cover of a boa song and i really love his version. there is not much to say except that it’s a really smooth song and his voice absolutely carries the track. i enjoyed this much more than i thought i would!

hyoyeon - dessert (song) YOU KNOW WHAT I DESERVE??? DESSERT!!!!!!! *insert tik tok challenge here* imagine if miryo featured on this instead of the ethnic hip girl … why can’t we have nice things. anyway, a banger!

johnny - sunny side up episode 1 set (spotify playlist, actual set) johnny being the skilled, talented, multi-faceted king that he is has been dj-ing since before debut (not me acting like i was around at that time lmao) and thus he decided to bless our quarantined, lockdowned asses with an online dj set! that was the most turned up sunday morning i ever had in my entire life. this set kicked off an edm/house/techno affinity that i had for the following couple of weeks. this set is an absolute banger, i would go insane to this in the club. he has an amazing ear for transitions and drops and i still just put on this set on the regular when i have cleaning to do or so. he could fill the void that rona and thus no clubbing in 2020 left in my heart and i’m so happy he decided to share this with us <3 now … john … sunny side up episode 2 pspspspspsps

honorary mentions: gfriend - apple, jessi - nunu nana

august

cardi b ft. megan thee stallion - wap (song) late summer 2021. we are vaccinated, icu beds are free, barely any new cases, clubs are open, this song plays and i can finally make it fucking clap.

troye sivan - in a dream (mini album) a cute mini album! nothing life-changing or as exciting as previous releases but easy (haha!) to enjoy. i really, really enjoy easy, can always count on troye for a dreamy sound.

album favs: easy

honorary mentions: itzy - not shy

september

wonho - love synonym pt. 1: right for me (mini album) honestly? i know like, 3 monsta x songs. i never bothered to get into them and maybe i never will, but it was difficult to ignore the whole wonho & monsta x mess that went on. i have absolutely no memory of why i decided to check out this release, i guess i was curious what he was going to do and … i was positively surprised lol. open mind is the exact time of song i had been so desperate all summer (remember mellow vocals with banger instrumentals? yeah) and uhm … can’t ignore the obvious … mr wonho is fucking fine. sir, you just gained a fan … now, where is love synonym part 2?? huh?????

album favs: open mind, i just, losing you

joji - nectar (album) this one is on tiktok. i heard gimme love in a bunch of tiktoks and had to look up the song and here we are. what an album! it came right as seasonal depression started to hit and accompanied me for a good chunk of autumn. at this point one has to ask if joji can ever really miss? the entire album is a no skip, it’s almost difficult to narrow down my favorites if my favorites weren’t so damn god tier!!!

album favs: gimme love, ew, tick tock, pretty boy, your man

super m - tiger inside / 100 / drip (songs) okay, listen. technically tiger inside & 100 were already released in august. instead of those three songs i was gonna write about the entire album until i realized i really don’t give a fuck about it 😭 i really only care about those three songs. and YES, i unironically like 100. is it a good song? no. but neither is jopping and that fucking bangs. i don’t turn to superm for life-changing, profound music, i turn to them for a good time LOL and that’s what they deliver every time! that being said, taeyong’s VROOM VROOM, UHMM UHMM, GRRRAHHHH verse is life-changing and profound! speak your truth king! also i wish drip was a b side for nct 127 that song is so damn sexy

taemin - never gonna dance again act 1 (album) this isn’t kpop, this is taemin pop. taemin never misses and the fact that hw*s* won dance performance over taemin is a literal hate crime. i will never forget the industry for this daylight robbery … anyway, nice album!!!!

album favs: criminal, black rose, waiting for

stray kids - in life (repackage) *airhorns* REPACKAGE TIIIIME 2.0!!!! i was on the edge of my seat waiting what stray kids were going to deliver after i greatly enjoyed god’s menu. i was still not over listening god’s menu when the repackage came out so i didn’t listen to it right away and now i greatly regret the few days i could have listened to back door earlier </3

album favs: back door, any

jackson wang - pretty please (song) i’m not gonna pretend like i ever listened to a song by jackson ever before. he is short king from got7 in my head and that’s all! i don’t even remember why i listened to this song but all i know is that it slaps severely. i love the wong kar wai inspired music video and the choreography is fun too! i’m gonna check out more of his music <3

honorary mentions: fromis9 - feel good, knk - ride

october

blackpink - the album (album, duh) i don’t even know what to say about this … this might be the weirdest release on the list for me. there are song i absolutely fucking hate (ice cream …) and songs i get my life to (pretty savage) on here and the discrepancy just gives me massive whiplash. i would never put this album on and listen to the whole body of work, i just cannot with the brain damage it gives me. i am still stuck in 2016, begging for bp to release music like whistle/boombayah/stay/playing with fire but i think i need to give up on that wishful thinking … i am just grateful we a got a title track with actual lyrics in the chrous for once.

album favs: pretty savage, lovesick girls

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 1 (album) this era was … a ride. nct 2020 happening was near inevitable but with covid it got pushed back so far, i started to believe it wasn’t even going to happen. i was semi-terrified of what was going to happen during a comeback with 21 (now 23!!) member group since i only experienced nct 127 comebacks so far and uhh … a LOT happened lmfao but let’s keep this about the album … i had no idea what was going to hit me. johnny having effectively 3 lines in nct 2018 did not give me much hope and after he got denoted to no line treatment in punch again, i was ready to not even have any expectation but this release changed everything. make no mistake that most of my favorite songs are units with johnny, we knew that was gonna happen lmaooo they dropped the teaser video for misfit and i thought i had my favorite song in the bag and then faded in my last song happened. y’all. JOHNNY SINGS? LIKE? ACTUALLY SINGS? DOESN’T GET FORCED TO RAP OR TALK-SING? MY MAN’S VOCALS??? OH MY GAAAAHD! this song is dramatic, theatrical, emo, it serves vocals and rap, it has catchy english and korean lyrics, this is THE song, the ULTIMATE song. i love this song so much, i want to belt it on top of my lungs in the pouring rain. apart from fimls, i also loveeee misfit, that was to be expected after i was going completely insane over the track video. johnny has like 3 lines but again they are iconic (WARNIN’! NCT WE MOBBIN’!) and i just enjoy the track too much to be upset over that. nectar. holy fuck. nectar!!!! wayv never disappoints with their thotty songs, they now have an absolute god tier hoe-ly song trinity with love talk > bad alive > nectar. the first chorus and hendery’s first verse (CHOP CHOP CHOP!) get me every time, this song is so insanely good i am severely upset i cannot sing along to it :( music, dance has nct 127 written all over it in bold letters, it’s so inherently 127’s sound!!!! i love this song so much, it’s so fun, upset and has massive dance-ability, i wish we had gotten a stage for it but i guess you can’t have everything in life </3 make a wish……………………………..the cursed unit. i don’t want to say anything about this except that, unfortunately, the song is fun and i enjoy it. the end. overall, this album is so insanely solid. i know i talk about my favorites A LOT but i genuinely do not dislike a single song on here, this is an absolute no skip album! that’s it. see you for resonance part 2!!!!!

album favs: FADED IN MY LAST SONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, misfit, nectar, music dance, make a wish

loona - 12:00 (mini album) controversial loona release 2.0! i don’t know what it is, but somehow they managed to lace the words di da dam di dam di dam dam dam dam di dam (yeah) with pure crack. i fucking love why not, i would even go as far to say it’s my 2nd favorite title track. that is right, i think it’s better than butterfly (btw: hi high > why not > butterfly > so what). so much was strange this comeback, from the inexplicable concept + teasers, the outfits, the styling (yves….i mourn your hot girl era) but the title track is just SO good, SO fun, SO catchy that i am willing to ignore it all. i also enjoy the b sides much more than on #, they are much more memorable to me. and now … HASEUL RETURN…………….i purely live to see the next loona comeback at this point

album favs: why not, voice, universe

twice - i can’t stop me (song) thank fuck twice released a good song this year. if more & more had been the only 2020 release, that would have been the real tragedy. not gonna lie, i still haven’t listened to the full album, it just keeps slipping my mind. but! i’m going to! until then i’m gonna bop to i can’t stop me.

ariana grande - positions (album) the way this album has people upset is so funny. i am a huge dangerous woman fan myself, it’s my fave ariana album to date but she has said repeatedly that this is not the sound she is striving for. now she has her coin and can do whatever she wants in music and if that is r’n’b then fuck! we have to live with it! lmao! i can live with the sex theme of the album because it’s delivered in a fun way? but it’s getting a bit old...if the next album is about riding dick only too idk how much i would enjoy that. i would probably always come back to ari because i like her voice so much but girl, there are other topics to sing about, i promise! anyway! i like this album, it’s one of those where i can hit shuffle and enjoy it in the background while doing other stuff.

album favs: positions, 34 + 35, love language, my hair, pov

tiny meat gang - sofia (song) ayyy, it’s my meat boys :’) ending the year the same way they started it, with a banger! i absolutely love the guitar instrumental, the melancholic love song type sound paired with the theme of singing about loving a robot … yup, that’s creativity and talent right here! this makes me so freaking desperate for a new ep and i genuinely have no idea how far or close we are to one but!!! i am always waiting!!!

noel - push (ep) this is something i absolutely did not expect. noel (of tiny meat gang!) released his first ep ever and i was absolutely wowed. noel has it all, the voice, the talent, the creativity and all it took him was the confidence to finally put something out and i’m so happy he did. he gets real personal on bus back, more than ever before and i always get a bit emo listening to this track </3 this man is gonna go places and i’m so happy to witness his journey.

album favs: crow, head sunk, bus back

honorary mentions: sam smith - diamonds

november

taemin - never gonna dance again act 2 (album) i’m gonna say it. idea is better than criminal. the chorus drop???? when he goes MY AH AH  MY AH AH MY AH MY IDEA MY MY IDEAAAAAA A-A-A A-A-A???? bitch … tell me you can sit still, i won’t believe you. i like part 2’s title track more, but part 1’s b sides are more interesting to me. either way, taemin delivered as expected!!

album favs: idea, impressionable, exclusive

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 2 (album) part two, baby! we made it! part 2 had more mellow, ballad-y songs with my everything, i.o.u. and all about you, overall less drama than part 1 but i still enjoyed it. work it is one of those controversial songs where you despise it with your entire being or you defend this top tier noise till the end and i am absolutely the latter. the agony of not being able to listen to it and seeing the timeline so divided nearly killed me, but i have concluded that people who hate work it have never felt joy in their life <3 honestly my opinion cannot be counted because i eat up anything johnny participates in … biased ass… what i’m not gonna talk about is resonance (the song), this absolute mess of a “remix”. the audacity sm had to release this as a single is insane. anyway!! this era was a rollercoaster ride. all the interactions truly made me interested in members of other units more. hendery (the rise and fall …), yangyang my beautiful son, jeno aka blue hair guy, chenle the chaos kid and xiaojun after he made make a wish his bitch in particular! all the interactions between the units were so fun to witness and it was fun while it lasted but i am … so glad it’s over lol. i miss nct 127, i miss some peace, i hope the boys get to rest for a bit and so does my bank account.

album favs: work it, 90s love, i.o.u., raise the roof

miley cyrus - plastic hearts (album) not in a thousand years would i have expected a miley release to be on here. this girl does everything to be absolutely unlikeable in my eyes but after severely banging out to her heart of glass cover, i was really excited for this and it did not disappoint. what is disappointing is that it took her so long to find a sound that fits her like a glove. i believe many people miss out on this release after her previous history and i nearly would have done the same. this alt/rock influenced pop does her voice so many favors and i really hope she sticks to this direction, i love this album greatly!!

album favs: heart of glass, midnight sky, night crawling ft. billy joel, wtf do i know

kai - kai (mini album) just. imagine debuting with an album like that. lol. what a god tier big dick move. we all knew whatever this release was gonna be, above all it was going to be sexy and boy were we RIGHT!!!! mmmh is exactly as thotty as i needed it to be and the b sides give me everything from r’n’b to trap. i love this release and i love that it’s only the beginning of kai! like!! he is only gonna gain even more experience and become even more powerful!! what the fuck!!!!!

album favs: mmmh, ride or die, hello stranger, nothing on me

honorary mentions. gfriend - mago

december

nothing? wtf?? 😭 no interesting release happened,,,,half the time i listened to christmas songs anyway lol

pre 2020 releases i only found this year

mgmt - little dark age (album, 2018) & oracular spectactular (album, 2007) another tiktok serve. i found little dark age through a tiktok trend and ended up really liking mgmt. they fit perfectly into my autumn/winter moody alt/rock mood that i had going on and i’m happy they have so much more music that i can check out!

artist favs: little dark age, electric feel, time to pretend

tame impala - currents (album, 2015) everyone’s favorite basic alt bitch album! i enjoyed this more than the slow rush for a good chunk of time, it also fit right into my alt rock autumn mood. i really love this album, like previously mentioned it has my favorite long ass tracks on there but also a good amount of short or medium long tracks. i’m still busy enjoying currents and the slow rush but i can’t wait till i finally take the leap to dive into their other releases because i’m loving everything i’ve heard so far.

album favs: the less i know the better, let it happen, new person same old mistakes

joji - ballads 1 (2018) after liking nectar so much, checking joji out was a given and i just love this album. only when i listened to this i realized i heard slowly dancing in the dark a few times on tiktok lmao that cursed app man … i would say i love nectar a bit more but this is still a fantastic album!!

album favs: slowly dancing in the dark, attention, test drive, yeah right

jus2 - focus (mini album, 2019) in my “mellow moody bangers” phase i was scouring playlists for more songs and i think i found focus on me first which fitted right into the niche i was looking to fill and i ended up enjoy this whole release! only later i realized this is a sub-unit from got7 lmao how come i enjoy solo or unit releases by got7 members but their group discography never interested me? anyway, very sexy ep!

album favs: drunk on you, focus on me, love talk

knk - sunset (song, 2019) part of my mellow bangers playlist. very sexy, i can imagine this as a runway song! i have no idea who knk are but given the fact i enjoyed two of their songs so far maybe i should look into them lol

baekhyun - city lights (mini album, 2019) i am repenting for my sins of missing out on baekhyun releases by consuming his music at an exorbitant rate. un village is one hell of a title track that i didn’t appreciate before, but i feel like in 2020 my music interests started to vary and i love the groovy r’n’b and string sound of this song so much. i also love stay up to death, the vocals baekhyun serves here are unreal. his BABY WE CAN STAY UP!!!!!!! gets me every single time!!!! what a mini!

album favs: un village, stay up

mac miller - swimming (album, 2018) i’ve listened to this album before 2020 but i had the urge to put this on here. this is going to sound so corny, but if i had to pick one song to be my life’s title track, it would be ladders. the hope this song gives me is unreal, it feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. this album is so fantastic, i love the upbeat instrumentals paired with sometimes gloomy lyrics are so incredible, mac was truly one of the greatest artists of our time. this album is  so outstanding and i miss him every day.

album favs: ladders, jet fuel, 2009, self care, perfecto

doja cat - hot pink (album, 2019) i can never decide if i like doja or not but the album slaps lol that’s it come on tiktok queen

album favs: say so, juicy, like that, streets

my fav 2020 playlists

slapping mellow

neo culture technology

malcolm

why go to therapy when this playlist exists?

top songs 2020

(by spotify)

[eerythingisshaka]

Will the Bell Ring?  Pt. 5

[Erik Killmonger x Black OC]

Word Count 5.3k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

The speed in which Kimara peeled out of the parking lot of the Korean BBQ place gave any witness whiplash as she channeled her anger through the accelerator.  Kimara cursed out the air and any driver in her way as she rode around the streets of midtown.  It’s a damn miracle no cops were around to pull her over or they would’ve caught some serious heat from her their damn self.  Not long after running her fifth yellow light turning red, Kimara began to feel her tears well over profusely.  Her whole body shook as the sobs came more powerfully and she couldn’t control the car properly anymore.  

Pulling over, Kimara puts her car in park as she lays onto the wheel causing it to honk one time before she unloads her emotions completely.  This isn’t what she expected, which is an outcome that is actually more common throughout this fertility process than she’d care to look back on.  She’s exhausted with all the waiting and trying and disappointment, Kimara just wants an answer or some quick fix that’ll give her what she needs.

*knock knock*

Kimara jumps at the sharp sound on her passenger side window, breathing out with relief once she recognizes the kind face.

“T’Challa!  What are you doing here?”  She sniffles as he opens the door to sit inside looking at her with pity.

“It’s not so taboo to be here shopping around as it is to sit in a car and cry.” He quips.

Kimara chuckles gruffly before getting caught with a hiccup from her weeping.  “I don’t do this all the time, I swear.”

T’Challa studies your face appearing suspicious.  “Are you…”

She stares at him trying to catch on until she rolls her eyes.  “Not every emotional moment with a woman is attributable to hormones man, damn!  I’m not pregnant, not on my period.  I’m just dealing with fuckboy bullshit.”

T’Challa melts in his seat with embarrassment.  Just two minutes with her and he’s already regretting making his presence known.  “How are things with Erik?”

“Terrible.”  Kimara mutters.

“Elaborate.”

She wipes her face, crossing her arms.  “You know he can be such a damn idiot sometimes.”

“Specifically?”  T’Challa draws out.

Kimara tuts at him, throwing up her hands.  “I thought you didn’t want details on our shit.  TMI and whatever.”

“I want details on what is going on with you.  Good or bad.”  T’Challa says softly, waiting patiently for her response.  

Kimara drops her attitude, playing with her nails anxiously.  “I had a doctor’s appointment today with Erik.  Nothing’s wrong with him.”

“That is good, right?”  

She lays back on the headrest, looking out the window.  “It is, health is always good.  Just...what else could it be now?  I thought that would give me my answer.”

“Does Erik know you are here?”

Kimara shakes her head.  “I left him at a Korean spot.  He was picking up his car anyway but I was tired of him too.”

“Did you like that place?”  T’Challa voice rises an octave in anticipation.

She nods, smirking.  “It was very nice.  Erik told me you picked it.”  Kimara looks over at T’Challa.  “Thank you for having good taste.”

T’Challa smiles softly.  “It is not something one can learn, I told you.”

Kimara tuts at him before looking away wordlessly.

“But why are you crying alone from your husband?”

“I don’t know.  I’m regretting what I said, or at least how I said it.  But Erik started off blaming the doctor and not taking the positive notes she gave us.  The whole appointment it was like he was stewing, ready for a fight or something.  I don’t know what came over him then but he flipped out.”

“That may be his way of accepting the news himself.  He is probably just as over the process as you are.”  T’Challa says.

“I know, I know.  But it’s like...what does he know?  How can he come in here blaming anybody for this when he’s barely wanted to follow instructions on how to better our chances.  He flip flops so much, then there’s work.  I’ve seen him act like this before.  When he wants something, he goes for it.  But this?  He’s in a whole other world. And I’m this close to done, I cant take his childish behavior anymore.”

“Have you told him?”

“No, this just happened.”

“I mean from before.  Your shame: did you tell him?”

Kimara goes quiet.  That said everything.

“Kimara-”

“I know!  I should.  But this isn’t the time.  Not when we’re rocky like this.”

T’Challa grows impatient with her.  “It has to be now!  You are not over that time in life and if he does not know you are harboring, your emotional duress appears out of the blue.  He will feel attacked.”

“Well he should!  I gave up a huge part of me for him and I don’t know if he could do the same.  He hasn’t proven that yet!”  

T’Challa grabs Kimara’s hand.  “Give him a little credit for what he’s been through.  Look.  Until you talk with him this is all speculative.”

“Well I have a right.”

“Do not be stubborn.  Remember this situation before?  I knew where Erik was, but you were not ready to let go of your anger to let clarity come through.  You must seek him out on this, be truthful.  If you do not, I cannot see this ending well, Bast forbid.”

Kimara holds his hand tightly before resting in his shoulder.  “I remember...I get that.  I don’t wanna leave him like that.  He doesn’t deserve that if he doesn’t know.  I’ll...trust the process.”

T’challa nods.  “That sounds familiar.  So you were listening to me.  You are a special woman, I just hate to see you go through this without all of the facts being known on his side.  The only way I can comfort you is because I know everything.  Whether I like it or not.”

They chuckle a moment as they held it together quietly, grazing their knuckles in small circles with their thumbs.  Kimara remember a lot about those times when Erik recovered from his combat brainwashing, how much coaxing it took T’Challa to see him through a new lens.  T’Challa never let Kimara down.  His word is always his truth and she appreciated that.  She didn’t give it a serious thought until just now.

T’Challa kisses the top of her head with a small peck, making her look up at him with a faint smile.  His eyes draw her into the features of his face, different from Erik’s but just as handsome.  She felt a dip in the pit of her stomach as her eyes fell over the bow of his top lip-

*brrrring!  brrrrring!*

Kimara’s phone breaks the trance as she nearly hops out of herself to stop the maddening noise.

“Hey Erik?  Yeah, I’m just over by the shops on 48th?  I needed some...I know…..It’s ok, really.  We’ll talk when I get home, don’t worry.  I’ll be there soon.  Love you too.”

She hangs up, growing timid.  “Sooo if you’re good I’m gonna head home.  Talk to this boy about stuff.”

T’Challa has his elbow on the passenger window, balling his fist up but with a calm expression.  His face reads a multitude of words just hanging from the cliff of his mind but his jaw is too tight to speak them.

“T’Challa?”

He nods, snapping out of his mind to give a tight smile.  “Of course.  Drive safely.”

--

Erik’s been working with his team at Boeing for a few weeks now trying to get some ideas off the ground.  He prides himself on being a superstar of the company, earning them easily millions and it’s all lightwork for his IQ.  But they were turning more commercial driven, and that doesn’t vibe with him.  And now that he works with Bryan, being the son of his boss, his wings are nubs at this point.

“Listen.  We have competition out there that are able to carry more passengers on longer flights.  We gotta keep up or we will be left in the dust!”  Edward exclaims.

Erik rubs his eyes as he leans back in the conference room chair.  “I’m not going rounds with you over this.  That’s the last thing we need to be focusing on right now.”

“Profits?  Profitability is never last Erik, it scares me how often I have to remind you of that.”

“Hey guys?”  Bryan says.

Erik tunes him out.  “When profit hunting cuts into innovation, TRUE innovation, that betters the product in the long run and sets an example for others in the industry, we fail!  And in your case we already are!  The Russians landed on the moon first bruh!”

“Guys!”  Bryan interjects.

Edward holds up a finger.  “One second son.  Listen here, I’ve been in this business for 30 years now, you think-”

“I think your father shoulda taught you better than this, yeah.”  Erik quips.

“GUYS!  I have a fucking idea, can you stop to hear it?”

Erik and Edward fume, looking at one another before going back to their respective corners.

“Sure son, and please speak with common sense.”  Edward says rolling his eyes as he sips some bourbon.

“How about we just knock out on engine on each side of the aircraft, so that gives room for the extra passenger space to be added?”

Erik’s face screws up “BOY THAT’S THE DUMBEST-”

Edward stops Erik.  “Hang on.  There are no wrong answers here.  Keep talking, what do you mean by that?”

Erik is incredulous.  “There are literally very wrong answers that can be given when discussing the composition of an aircraft!”

Bryan clears his throat.  “Well, of course we have to map out the logistics of it all.  But that’s the difference between us and our competitors.  They have constructed their aircrafts to be able to accommodate the extra passenger space by having the bodymore elevated from the ground.  The only thing blocking ours is the extra engines.”

“There are so many things wrong with what you just said, it’s hilarious honestly.  But you have a good time figuring it out.”  Erik gets up to leave.

“Oh actually, if you have space in your schedule, we need you to help with this one.  I really wanna get the ball rolling on this so we can be prepared to roll out by next spring at the latest.”

“Why the fuck would I work on something that ain’t my damn idea?  Your boy said it, let him handle it.  I don’t need no credit for this.”

Edward scoffs.  “That’s fine.  You can do the work and get none of the credit.  How’s that?”

“What?”

He pats Erik’s shoulder.  “We have a father son golf tournament we wanna get some practice in for anyhow.  Erik, I trust you.  You’re my most senior person in this department, and at your age, that is incredible.  I’d love to see you running this place one day, but to do that, you have-”

“I don’t like sports, I don’t do teams, and the only player I am has nothing to do with this company.”

Edward smiles amused at Erik’s tenacity.  “That is good!  I love that enthusiasm.  So I need something, anything crossing my office floor by month’s end or you know, we’ll talk.”

“That’s some bullshit, you know it.”

“Oh, don’t worry.  I did get you some help to soften the blow.  They should be waiting in your office.”

Erik rolls his eyes.  If he has to see one more white person giving him orders, he was gonna make the 5 o’clock news in no time.  He makes his way down the hall and around the corner to trudge his way to his office, checking his pockets for his phone.  He sees a text from Kimara and starts to open it as he walks in.

“Well how you, handsome?”

Erik’s feet make tracks on the tiles as he screeches to a halt.  Looking up he starts to turn warm, eyes widening as he catches a glimpse of a familiar figure.  

“My, my.  I guess you do recognize me.  I’m a lot different outside my work clothes.”  She says, rubbing the back of her neck as she clutches her leather satchel.  She does look a lot different than their first encounter, but the curves can’t hide under her tailor navy blazer with gold piping along the collar and sides, with matching pencil skirt to boot.  The only thing that didn’t change is the heels, that had to be flirting with workplace dress code etiquette for height.

Erik tucks his phone in his pocket.  “Uh, you, uh…Chanel, right?”

She rolls her eyes, fighting an embarrassed smile.  “Whatever I told you that night was a lie.  I never tell dudes I barely know my real name.  It’s Alaina.”

Erik walks across the way offering a hand.  “You didn’t seem too bothered with me being a stranger though.”

She shakes his hand firmly, still smiling slyly.  “Well, that was then.  And I was off the clock.  I can’t be held responsible for what happens after hours.”

“Mhm, if I wasn’t with my boy, you would’ve given me some trouble.  That wasn’t a meat market ma’am, I wasn’t lookin to cut either.”

She raises her hands.  “Hey, I get it.  Especially now.  You have my word I will behave myself.  God blockedt it!”

Erik takes a seat behind his desk as Alaina sits in the chair across from him.  “So you are the secret weapon to getting this bullshit idea off the ground, huh?”

Alaina shrugs.  “I’m here to get a paycheck and possibly a promotion.  I’m here on contract, I gotta make my moves while I can.”

“Ok, that’s cool.  It’s funny how he got all the Black folks working this together for him, but I won’t get into that today.”

She rubs her forehead.  “Please, refrain.  I don’t need a lecture on corporate politics from Brother Erik today.”

Erik chuckles, impressed with her wittiness.  Chanel, or Alaina, was more than just a fat ass in some FashionNova, but a brain on top to boot.  

“You right  Listen, Edward got you here close to my clock out time, so I was gonna go to my bar spot up the street, let off some steam.��

“The Magnolia?  Ooh, I love their martinis at happy hour!”

“And it just started too.”  Erik pulls out his keys and gets up to leave.  “So that’s where I’m headed.  We can pick this up tomorrow, if you not up for martinis.”

“When am I not up for a martini, is the real question.  One drink can’t hurt, I’ll treat you.  And don’t worry about what I said earlier.  I’ll be on my best behavior after hours too.”

--

Kimara comes home to the house dark and empty yet again.  Erik has been taking a lot of time to work after hours and it’s been killing her vibe lately.  When she comes home from the studio, she’d love to see her man welcome her home, but he hasn’t been available.

Phone calls from the fertility specialist urging her to start considering IVF as an option is stressing her out.  Erik isn’t getting the calls, nor is he there when they come.  The most he can give is a hurried, ‘oh what’d they say?  What you wanna do then?  Look I gotta go!’

Kimara was not keen on even thinking about trying to get fertility treatments yet.  One day she invited Lia over, a friend she’s gained from her recent sessions at the studio.  

Over a bottle of wine and junk food, Kimara opened up about her situation as of lately.  It’s hard to avoid as a topic since it’s been consuming her all this time.  

“Sheesh, it’s been that long?”  She exclaims taking a strong sip of her glass.

Kimara nods emphatically.  “I wish I was lying but yeah.  We are closing in on a year pretty soon, and I’m not getting any younger, so I may have to look into this pretty soon.  It’s not like we are having a whole lot of sex these days anyway.  He’s at work constantly.”

“Girl, fix that ASAP!  Nothing makes me more jaded than not busting one every so often.”

“No one said I wasn’t busting, I would like to have my man in on it too, every once in a while.  I need a new charge cord for my shit now!”

Lia guffaws.  “So who’s ignoring who though in this situation?  I know he can’t resist our fine ass.”

Kimara scratches her head.  “Well…”

“Oh!  Now we don’t have much to say!”

“I mean!  He comes in late as hell.  I’m in my bonnet, got on my mask, knee deep in Blue Bell watching my shows when he comes in.  By the time I’m in bed and he takes a shower, he tries to get handsy.  But I don’t wanna just be devoured and tossed aside, I want some damn communication!”

“Well at least you know he wants it still.”

“Yeah yeah, but when I call him on the bullshit he turns his ass back over real quick.  He won’t talk to me and I’m getting so damn tired of trying.”

Lia looks at her phone.  “Shit, I gotta go girl.  The sitter won’t hesitate to charge me extra for being late.  But girl, just take some deep breaths.”

Kimara does.  “Will air give me a baby and my hot and horny relationship back?”

“No but it’ll give some blood flow to that crowded ass brain of yours so you don't get to talking foolish.”

Kimara hugs her and walks her out the door when she sees some headlights pull into the driveway.  Lia looks back.

“Be nice, but stand your ground.”  She winks before walking on, waving wildly at Erik’s car.  He waves back nonchalantly as he walks in after you.

“Who was that?”   Erik asks.

“A friend from the studio.  Just keeping me company.”  You say, discarding you glasses.

Erik tosses his keys on the counter, taking his shoes off.  

“You want something to eat?”  You ask at the kitchen sink.

“Nah, you good.  I already ate.”

“This late?  So work came with dinner today?”

“You could say that.”  Erik sas in a monotone as he takes his jacket off.

Kimara stans there tapping her foot impatiently.  “Well, what do you say?”

“...you forgot to clean the dishes again?”

“Erik!”

He laughs.  “I’m just kidding!  Damn, how’s your day?  Love you.  Thanks for everything.  I’m takin a shower.”He kisses a fuming Kimara quickly sensing his job being done.

Erik heads upstairs to the master bathroom as she loads the dishwasher, which has become like a part time job for her.  Erik used to try and pull doing the ‘traditional�� household tasks mess on her.  But Kimara snapped him up quick with some facts, ultimatums, and peppered threats to get her point across that that was not how things would go down.  But he’s fallen off the wagon this month.  Kimara sets the washer on and rinses her hands with fury before bounding up stairs.  She hears the water running and open the door.  Erik’s silhouette is frosted and murky behind the foggy glass of the shower door.  The scent of his body wash fills her nostrils, lighting up her senses.  Kimara loves the soap he uses and can’t resist when he’s cleaned up to get him dirty all over again.  But like she told Lia, she hasn’t been in the mood as of late he didn’t earn that ass yet.  

Kimara sits on the toilet lid.  “Erik, what’s been going on?”

Erik opens the door a crack and peeks his head out, sudsy bubbles speckle his skin as he grins.  “Yo, what’s it look like I’m doin?  You tryna join me?”

She shakes her head.  “I wanna know where my husband has been spending his time.”  

Erik’s smile fades as he closes the door again talking over the water.  “I haven’t done nothing but work.  And trust me, I don’t like it no more than you.”

Kimara makes face of frustration.  “So what changed?  This isn’t normal for you still.”

“I mean...there’s nothing to talk about now, but I got this project on my head that had a strict deadline and me and this partner have just been…..you know, hammering it out.”

Kimara sighs.  “It’s not the same not having you here.  I don’t like it, it’s not fair to me.”

Erik shuts off the shower, getting out with his body glistening wet and clean, grabbing a towel across the way to dry off.  “I ain’t no fan either, but I’m tryna do some big things here that will hopefully make some history and that takes a lotta time and energy.”

“So does a relationship!  I been having dinner by myself, sleeping by myself.  I get calls from the doctor asking for us when there is no US to consider.”

Erik peaks from behind the towel on his face. “Hey hey!  We still us, don’t trip!  Like I said, I-”

“BUSY!  Sure Erik, whatever fits your conscience.  This project better have a break time, cuz WE have things to do too, remember?  So you and your boy, whoever your project partner is are gonna have to work something out.”

Erik wraps his towel around his waist before kneeling in front of Kimara.  “I know you think I forgot but I haven’t.”

Kimara’s eyes shift from him.  “What?”

Erik smirks.  “Now you gonna hurt my feelings if you forgot.  Tomorrow…..our anniversary?”

Kimara tears well up instantly.  Of course she thought he had forgotten.  He hasn’t said a damn thing leading up to today, what else would she think.

“I don’t want you crying on the happiest day of my life, you hear me?  We in that year three, third times the charm right?”

Kimara really starts to ugly cry now.  “Why you makin me cry if you don’t want me too?”

Erik kisses her hands.  “You are my life.  My one, my baby.   One thing we learned together no matter how far I go, we come back together as one, you know?”

Kimara sniffles, leaning her forehead against Erik’s thinking over their years together.  That statement didn’t always ring true to her, but in a small way he has been right.

“No decision I make goes without thinking of you, our family.  I got us reservations tomorrow, and tickets to that comic you love on the Boulevard.  We got the whole day to do what we wanna do, don’t trip.”

“Don’t scare me like this.”  Kimara says with an exhausted tone.  “Even for surprises, don’t.”

Erik’s eyes met hers.  “Nothing is keeping me from you.  Tomorrow let’s make that appointment with the doctor too.  I’m feeling pretty lucky right now, we are gonna get our shot.”

“You feelin lucky to get lucky?”  Kimara says stifling a laugh.

Erik pulls her closer to him by her hips.  “No lottery better in the world.”

They kissed sweetly at first, feeling a familiar urge that makes her legs tighten up.  Kimara pulls away first.  “I thought about something you said though before, about a different doctor.  My friend knows a fertility specialist that may be worth looking into, maybe we can them next.”

Erik nods, looking lost in her face, running his thumb along her cheek.  “Sure, I’m up for whatever.”

“Also, while you been busy, I’ve been looking at spots for a vacation.  I’m; narrowing it down to the DR, PR, Turks and Caicos, or Belize.”

Erik buries his face in her chest, kissing the softness of her skin.  “I trust your judgement.”

Kimara defends herself against his ticklish lips.  “But I want your opinion too!  And since things been going good with T’Challa and his lady, they should join us officially.  We can have dinner with them next week to get acquainted and start talking about it.”

“Ok!  You gonna help me cook?”

Erik scoffs.  “Who said that?  We cookin now?  Why don’t we do like them damn Koreans and just say bring your meat and here’s the stove. Ge to it!”

She rolls her eyes.  “I’m am so sick and damn tired of that smart mouth of yours.”

He cocks an eyebrow, giving your thighs a squeeze.  “It knows what to do when you need it to.”

“Oh?”

They smile into each others mouth as their lips come together in an embrace.  Kimara’s hands play in Erik’s locs, carefully rubbing his scalp as he moans under the sensation.  Her knees rub around him causing his towel to fall.  

Erik picks her up, kissing at her neck with neediness.  “I know you not tryna fuck on this toilet?”

Kimara sighs erotically rolling her head back to take in his mouth.  “Like I give a shit where I get it right now…”

Eight Years Ago

Kimara sits in the studio after hours, playing around with the keys on a keyboard.  The day was done but she had plans to meet with someone so she was just biding her time.  In the distance she could hear the bells jingle on the front door of the studio as someone walks in.  She checks her phone for an ‘on the way’ text but there is none, and curses herself for forgetting to lock the door.  

She slowly comes out from the back room.  “Uh, sorry but we’re clo-”

The jean jacket he loves, little locs bound atop his head, and a pair of broad shoulders hunched looking through framed photos of musicians spanning decades in a display case told Kimara all she needed to know for identification.  Her heart lurches into her throat, cutting off her breath to produce sound as Erik slowly turns to look at her.

“Wassup?”  He says with a casual grin.  

“H-hey.  How did you-”

“Find you?”  She shakes his head looking back at the photos.  “It ain’t that hard to figure out.  Not as hard as getting to Wakanda to see me I guess.”

Kimara folds her arms walking slowly towards him.  “Erik, I couldn’t go all the way over there.  For what?  Your cousin told me you were safe, and frankly that’s all I was worried about.”

He nods, turning to face you with his hands in his pockets.  You take a deep breath looking him over.  Still as big as ever, and looking good to have gone through and done all T’Challa told her happened in Wakanda.  And in a small way his eyes seemed different and familiar, not like the night he left.  But like the friend she once knew.

“I’m glad he filled you in on that.  Yeah, it took a lotta counselling with my demons, but...I figured out what I needed to let go and change for the better.”

“Good.  I’m glad, really.”  Silence comes between the both of them.  Him just standing there looking at Kimara made her feel shy all of a sudden.  She thought about this day often: what she would say or do if she caught him out here after all he put her through on her own.  But now that spirit just isn’t in her.  She felt stagnate, like her whole system shut down and is preparing for a reboot.

“How have you been?”  He asks, scratching his beard humbly as his eyes drop a second from her face.  “You look nice by the way.”

Kimara shrugs.  “I haven’t been up to much recently.  I teach music to school kids and...since you found me here maybe you heard I do backup for artists sometimes.”

Erik shakes his head.  “Nah, I hadn’t heard that actually.  Congratulations!  You deserve that, your talent is outta this world, Mara.”

She gives him a weak smile.  “And we’re closed now,so I mean if you want to meet up another time, I gotta-”

“Did you miss me?”  Erik asks.

Kimara stammers.  “Uh…”

Erik leans on the case hanging his head low.  “I know I shouldn’t have come by your place that night.  I don’t know what has gotten into me but I promise you I hadn’t planned for any of it.”

“I know that now.  You came to me confused and left me just as such.  I thought you were staying with me.”

“I know, and I was.  I just wasn’t ready-”

“To be a man? To be grown enough to take responsibility head on?”

Erik shrugs looking slightly bewildered.  “Possibly, I don’t know!  I didn’t want to hurt you and leave you without me seeing you one more time but that night made it even harder for me to want to go.”

“Then why did you?  Why did my body become your test of ‘should I stay or should I go?’  You were planning to leave regardless, you just said!  So why weren’t you upfront with me?!”

“Because I love you and didn’t want you to get hurt!”

“But you hurt me Erik!  You did!  You came over feeling big and bold, I softened you up but a minute before you peaced out on me.  Like that shit didn’t matter?  Like that’s even something we did before.”

Erik’s eye hang low.  “I didn’t mean for the first to be the last.”

“I don’t give a fuck about the sex Erik.  I was just another in a line of females you wouldn’t look twice at.  You ain’t my first to do that, I don’t give a shit.  But if you weren’t interested in being my man, you could’ve at least been my friend and thought for one second how leaving to do a homicide suicide mission with who knows and where and leaving me high and dry!  I was a MESS!  I was inconsolable, Erik we practically grew up together and you just that easily forgot what all that shit meant?”

Erik shakes his head emphatically, walking slowly over to her with outstretched hands.  “Mara I’m sorry.”

Kimara gulps for air between sobs, feeling herself go weak.  “No!  Don’t do that.  I’m sick of you.”

Erik wipes his face eyes turning red, looking sorrowful.   “I been sick of my damn self.”

Kimara grabs Erik by the collar of his jacket.  “I’m so sick of you bringing this tye of shit outta me.  I was over you, I swear I was.”

Erik’s arms wrap around Kimara tightly as she burrows her face into his chest.  They shake with emotion together, swaying side to side and letting go on one another.  Kimara hugs Erik as tightly as she can, feeling rubbing his back, caressing his head to make sure he isn’t a dream.  But it’s real.  Erik’s hads travel the length of your back before finding either side of your face to pull your gaze to his.

“I won’t put that pressure on you again.  I’m not leaving your side either.  I don’t even care if you got a nigga, I got your back when he fuck up.”

Kimara makes a noise that’s a combo of a sob and a laugh while holding the back of his hands in his.  “You still a damn fool.”

When Erik’s eyes meet Kimara’s, there’s an energy that kept accelerating, building between the two of them.  It was tortuous, almost irritating how lonely her lips felt when she looked at his, and Erik definitely felt the same.  

God’s hand seemed to keep twirling around their heads, bringing them closer bit by bit until their mouths met.  Kimara’s body felt like a whole piece again once connected with his.  She had found a peaceful existence without him but she had no clue she missed him so much until he was right in front of him.  

When they parted for air Kimara rested her forehead on his chin.  “Erik, I can’t just jump into this.  I’m still not there.”

Erik pats her head gently.  “Mara, I ain’t worried bout that.  You here, I’m here.  I don’t need nothing else.  Imma work on my situation, get myself stable.  And you just live your life like you was.  Just this time you can call me.  For whatever.”

Kimara hugs Erik tightly, breathing him in when she feels a vibration in her back pocket.  

“Sorry, hang on.”  Kimara reaches for it, looking to see T’Challa’s name flashing as an incoming call.  She declines it, texting him back to cancel their night together.

Part 6

Masterlist

Ragtag

@chaneajoyyy @sarcastic-sunshines @muse-of-mbaku@dameshaemonique  @fonville-designs@destinio1@bakarisangel@wakanda-inspired@klaine15689 @savageiz@nickidub718@yoyolovesbucky @alexundefined @forbeautyandlife@bakarisangel

[guacameowle]

V’s After End - Notes / Opinion

Below the cut will be my reactions, opinions, & spoilers for V’s After Ending episodes & endings. There’s a sprinkling of ~thirst~ & a lot of confusion/screaming throughout. I am afraid I haven’t gone back to proofread the episode reactions, so they’re likely a little messy & misspelled. 

Episode reactions are at the top, separated by episode & endings. Long-winded opinion/discussion about the route itself is at the bottom.

Journey below at your own risk! xx

Episode 1

80 hourglasses for EPISODE ONE? Oh this man is EXPENSIIIIVE. How many episodes is this going to be? 8 TOTAL?! Goodness.

JUDGE OR FORGIVE?! Who am I judging & forgiving? Jihyun? Rika? Cauuuuuse... uhhhh.... that might change my answers a bit (a lot)

So this means there is going to be multiple endings, yeah?!

Probably hasn’t even kissed you yet & is already packing up, leaving, & asking you to wait for him. I WAIT FOR NO MAN (Jk I waited for this man for over a year. Fuck.)

Oh shiiiit. He’s leaving me his house?! Ok, I’ll wait. Have fun storming the castle! *waves*

Excuse me but does the news screen on Jumin’s tv in his room show a picture of Rika & a caption underneath that says “More Catfood”???

The bottom of the news reel also says “Does Jumin Han is Gay?” Please, release us. Let it die.

JUUUMIIIIN. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. Let us comfort each other in these trying times. *waggles eyebrows*

JAEHEE COMING THROUGH WITH SOME GODDAMN SENSE & LOGIC. MY GIRL!

SOMEONE GET THIS MAN HIS WINE! Ohhh, nevermind he’s been drinking too much. Let’s have some water now, Juju.

This man is mourning & distraught. I am so sad for him. & now they’re making him dependent on alcohol to relieve his stress? Uh, I don’t like where this is going.

If anything happens to Jumin in this ending I swear...

WE HAVE CHATS TOO?! Damn what a complex update!

Wait, Zen WANTS to see MC & Jihyun being lovey dovey? Zen’s an imposter. He’s been replaced. That’s the real secret of this After End.

Oh wait, he said he was lying. Whew.

It is weird giving replies in chats & not seeing little colorful hearts flying everywhere…

Zen coming in HOT with the “Do you think you can forgive Rika?” question. Woooow.

You bet your ass I asked if anyone has heard anything from Ray. I’m going to cry.

NEW SEVEN CG! SO CUTE! VANDERWOOD IN THE RAFT! SO CUUUUUTE!

“He’s an adorable shy man.” Instantly chose this option. Vanderwood is cuuuute. Yes, Seven, please tell Vandy that I called him adorable & shy. Then tell me his reply. Then give him my number.

Yoosung’s got a package. I’M SURE HE DOES. ::eyes emoji::

OH SHIT, JUMIN DROPPING THE DNA BOMB. Wait, riddle me why the fuck Jumin had access to Seven’s DNA in the first place...

Poor Seven, I thought he had already sort of knew/assumed the hacker was his twin. But I guess he didn’t really know until now?

Looks like I’m on the “FORGIVE” path. Unlocked a Jumin’s VA free chat. Alriiiight.

Episode 2

Ray? Omg my eyes teared up. IS HE ALIVE?! WHAT KINDA SHORT TEASE OF A VOICE IS THAT?! OMFGGGGG. D:

Episode 2 & I’m already fucking crying. Great. Awesome. Lovely.

Honestly, I’m glad they’re having this discussion about V keeping all this information to himself about Saeran’s existence & use within Magenta because that’s always had me side-eyeing V HARD. I’m still of the opinion that he should have told at least Seven & Jumin about everything sooner. I get that he wanted to save Rika, but he was responsible for Saeran. I’m still heated.

SAEYOUNG HAS GONE ROGUE!

Mailman route when?! Kidding. His voice is nice though.

“Burn the letter” JESUS, MC. CALM IT DOWN.

RIKA WENT MISSING. OMFGGGG. THIS AFTER END! I JUST WANTED TO KISS JIHYUN. WHAT THE FRICK FRACK IS GOING ON?!

“We found remnants of DNA that matched with those of Luciel scattered about in the remains of Magenta. Since the explosion was of no ordinary size….” My heart hurts. My head hurts. My soul hurts.

This super sad music is just making me feel worse. I hate this. I’m crying again. I’m getting emotional whiplash.

Ray deserved better. Full stop.

Rika & Saeyoung left alone & Ray’s theme starts playing. How fucking dare this game fuck with me. I’m literally lying on the floor in a ball, playing this game & crying. What the hell.

For a second I saw Saeyoung making that fist in the CG & thought he was about to punch Rika.

Wow can y’all believe Jihyun basically Noped the Fuck Out of his own After End?

Hey Siri, turn off Rika’s voice.

Seven is dropping a lot of truth. ::quietly sips my tea::

God, Saeyoung’s prayer to Saeran is heartbreaking. Props to this VA though, damn he’s good.

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. I’m going to have fun going back & taking the judgement path.

Episode 3

Jumin “THERE WILL BE NO MORE SECRETS” Han fucking coming through! My boy! God, I love him so much.

First sun reference we’ve had. I thought there would be more by now.

Jihyun is out there falling in love with an MC in his head that he’s hardly spoken with since he left. That… can’t be healthy, my dude.

Jumin showing up in the goddamn woods in his suit is hot.

Jumin Han is so so good, y’all. This conversation between him & Saeyoung is absolutely amazing. He’s doing his best to comfort & protect at the same time. He asked about Saeran. He’s encouraging Saeyoung to live, helping him understand he’ll come out of this pain & find new reasons to live. He’s struggling too, but he’s doing so much to reach out & help Saeyoung.

The line about creating a new family, one without blood ties, broke me.

Uhhhh…. who was that? “We found him but that woman is with him.” Saeyoung & Rika?

THE STRESS GAVE ZEN A PIMPLE. Can relate.

Hell yeah I flirted with Zen. He is still prettier than starlight.

“Why don’t you come over? :)” MC. GIRL. …. I like the way you think.

Yoosung: “WELL I’M NOT GANDHI.” I fucking lost my shit.

“Should I drive V’s car?” Uhhhhh YES.

“But you’re gonna have to drive thru the night for hours. I’m kind of worried.” Bitch, I’m from Texas. I got this. 8 hours is a SHORT TRIP.

The disrespect. They aren’t going to let me drive. I don’t need a man to drive me.

DID VANDERWOOD JUST? OMG DID HE? DID HE JUST SHOOT SAEYOUNG?! BITCH, I LOVED YOU????? & YOU DID THIS????

Omg my heart. Why do they play with my emotions like this. Whew. WHEWWW.

VANDERWOOD CG!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Saeyoung is getting a lot of love tonight from his two new dads- Jumin & Vanderwood. Soft love & tough love. Shouting love at you with a gun in your face is new though.

YES! LET’S LOOK FOR A BODY! I STILL HAVE A SHRED OF HOPE RAY IS ALIVE. C’MON CHERITZ, PLEASE.

“Would you mind giving me some spotlight now?” Please let this be foreshadowing. I would eat UP a Vanderwood route.

Is another agency trying to kidnap Saeyoung? I am confusion? His dad?

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. Yoosung’s VA has a cute voice. I liiiiike.

Episode 4

My Yoosung is so sad. This boy has a lot of hate built up in him. First for V, now for Rika &&& V. Goodness.

She? Who the hell is Rika talking about? She who?!

Seems like everyone is concerned that MC will pity or listen to Rika too much. Hmm. Hmm hmmm…

Jumin is getting shit DONE.

2 years flashback. ????

Mika?! Who the fuck? Is this the “she” Rika was talking about earlier?

What he hell kinda narrative? Who is this woman? Supposedly some other girl from the orphanage Rika was a part of. She’s introduced & being used as the device that implanted this idea into Rika’s brain that she had “a devil” inside of her? She’s the reason Rika broke it off with V? Why? This feel like it cheapens everything. & why the hell is she calling Rika “Mina”? Is that Rika’s real name & I just forgot?!

IS RIKA LYING? WHY DID SHE WAIT THIS LONG TO TELL SAEYOUNG ABOUT THIS ��STURDY ROOM”? COULD SAERAN REALLY BE ALIVE? Or is she trying to trick Saeyoung into leaving the cabin?!

Ok so the twins’ father has to be in on this somehow. He’s probably the one trying to get Saeyoung, I get that much. Omg... what if the reason they didn’t find proof of Saeran being dead is because his dad snatched up the remains?! Or kidnapped him alive? Or or or

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. This is hard. I want to be mean. 😈

Episode 5

I don’t know why I go into this game thinking I will just get to kiss the pretty boy. Or any boy.

Ok so more hints dropped their dad is probably involved.

“I am waiting for a letter.” GIRL, FUCK V’S LETTER. HE IS NOT HERE. SHIT IS GOING DOWN. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. IF HE WANTS TO BE OFF SMELLING FLOWERS, LET HIM. I AM TIRED.

I hope hope hope they find Saeran. Please please PLEASE.

I FORGOT. IF RAY IS ALIVE HE IS GOING THROUGH DETOX ALONE BURIED UNDER RUBBLE & ASH. I AM LIVID! WHAAAAT! SAVE. HIM.

Zen’s “WOOOOW” made me laugh.

These new CGs are a delight. I like seeing the mix of characters in them, too. Zen’s hand is huge. ::eyes emoji:: 

Maaan, Yoosung really flipped emotional spectrums so fast about Rika. The boy is certainly driven by his emotions.

These philosophical type chats always blow me away. This game really does get you thinking about social constructs. Fun & educating. Huh.

Getting these dirty boys to wash their hands before eating.

SAERAN MADE IT OUT?!

THAT IS SAERAN’S COUGH. OMG. HE IS ALIVE?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SAERAN!!!!

Still on “FORGIVE” path.

Episode 6

Jumin, this is a very roundabout way to tell Saeyoung you care about him & just want to look after him. You long-winded, man. I adore you.

SAEYOUNG HAS MORE VALUE THAN JUST WHAT HIS HACKING ABILITIES CAN BRING TO THE TABLE! LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY, SAEYOUNG. THEY CARE FOR YOU!

10 years?! I don’t know if that is a blessing or a curse. Lol. That’s a lengthy commitment for Saeyoung though.

“Why must we give up one thing once we get something else?” Yeah, Cheritz. Why must we give up one boy once we save the other boy?!?! Hmmmm???? Lmaoooo

Saeyoung in a suit & tie!!!!!!! Niiiiiiice.

How in the hell are they gonna wrap up this story?! It’s gonna be a cliffhanger isn’t it?! Omg...

Did these idiots just straight up leave Zen, Yoosung, & MC in a random cabin in the woods FOR DAYS & go back to civilization on their own? How long does it take to return Rika back to proper authorizes?! Goodness.

WHAT?!

WHAAAAT THE FUCK?!?!

V TOOK SAERAN?! WHEN? HOW? WHAT? 

MY JAW JUST POPPED IT DROPPED SO HARD. WHAT THE SHIIIIIT?!?!

Uhhhh lmao uhm why are they dressed like Jedi? Jihyun is giving Obi Wan vibes right now. I’m cackling, when I shouldn’t be. This is supposed to be a serious moment, goddamnit.

I know Jihyun probably thinks he’s doing right by taking care of Saeran but AGAIN WITH THIS DOING IT ON HIS OWN BUSINESS?! Saeyoung is devastated his brother & all the while Jihyun had actually swooped him away for some self-medicated detox tour? Just more & more secrets. I’m tired.

“Let’s wait until detox is done & you don’t wanna murder your brother. So I booked a flight for next week.” A WEEK? HA! YEAH RIGHT! BEST CANCEL THAT.

Oh, he just keeps booking & cancelling flights. Lmao. Ok. I am less judgmental now.

If Saeyoung & Saeran don’t get a reunion.... I will die inside.

Unlocked the “FORGIVE” ending.

Shit that costs 80hg too? I have nearly depleted what I had saved up!

BUT HOLY SHIT Y’ALL. SAERAN IS ALIVE! 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

“FORGIVE” Ending

This song is hauntingly beautiful.

Who is this speaking?

Is Rika high right now wtf?!

God is a woman.

I am so over all this sun talk. Let. It. Go.

Weren’t security guards left with them at the cabin?! Did Rika just WALK out?!

Of course she’s going to run away & get away with everything. Mhmm ok.

NOW THEY ARE COMING FOR JUMIN’S COMPANY?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD END WTF. I’LL FIGHT. DON’T COME FOR C&R. I’LL THROW DOWN. JUMIN BETTER NOT LOSE EVERYTHING.

So Rika is gone & for no reason Zen & Yoosung & MC are going to stay in the cabin alone? (& not have a threesome?!?!?!)

Jumin is literally putting his own company on the line to protect Saeyoung. This man is amazing. “We’ll rebuild.” My nipples are hard. Jumin has fully aroused me. I would have taken him right on a conference table.  

Welcome to Rika’s Ted Talk

Well.... I am pleased she stepped up & laid the truth all out there. Took us years to get here, lads, but we did it!

Twin cribs. Hmmm.

2 YEARS LATER?! SO THIS CONNECTS TO THE GOOD END OF JIHYUN’S ROUTE?!

2 years, huh... I would have shacked up with Jumin looooong before now. That man is a whole snack. Selfless, sweet, handsome, has a cat. I’m thirsty.

Jumin’s become an alcoholic?! Great. /s I guess this is meant to show just how drastic things are? That Jumin, our token rational & logical man, is resorting to a dangerous lifestyle as a means of coping? I’m heartbroken.

“Have I kept you waiting for too long.” Yes.

His gift better be bringing Saeran on stage because if he unveils a white puzzle I will lose my fucking mind. It is nearly 4am. I haven’t slept. I just want a smooch.

Omg I think it’s happening.

It’s gonna happen.

OMGGGGG

Please let there be a CG of this

IT HAPPENED!!!!! THEY REUNITED!!!! OMG!!!!!

LONGEST HELL YEAH BOOOOY OF MY LIFE

Pink suit pink suit pink suit PINK SUIT!!!! 💗

Ohhhh... Saeran has burns all over his face & his hand. Is his whole left side burned? My poor boy.

5 years later?!? (Mmmm think about mid30s Jumin Han though 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻)

*gasp* A BABY!

Holy shit, not a baby. A full child.

Awwww Saeyoung & Saeran live together!!

YEEESSSS. GET THIS LITTLE GIRL INTO STEM!!!! 

“When is Uncle Jumin gonna marry.” I marry him every few weeks, little girl. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 when I reread his endings.

“Daddy thinks he will never get married.” I am now sad. I want to marry Jumin.

Jaehee got a promotion. Good for her. It’s what she deserves.

Aw Lucy is cute. Surprised they didn’t give her Jihyun’s hair color.

Their house has a lot of windows. 👀👀👀 Floor to ceiling windows. 👀👀👀 Good for fucking against. 👀👀👀👀

THIS CHILD IS ALREADY LEARNING TO KEEP SECRETS. NOOOOO. BREAK THIS CHAIN!

“Daddy is good with secrets, too.” TRUST ME, LITTLE GIRL. WE KNOW. WE KNOOOW. Y’all the noise I made when I read this line. Scoff wheezing?! Full exasperation.

“But you tell everything to Mommy!” About fucking time, honestly. How long did it take for him to break his secrets habit?

Ohhhhh she’s adopted! That’s why she doesn’t have his hair color. Curious why they didn’t go with the biological child path? I certainly don’t mind adoption. It definitely feels like a sort of tribute to Rika.

Girl already has a crush on Zen. Ha! Giiiirl, same. Jihyun’s reaction was funny.

I wanna ride Zen’s motorcycle & his diiiiiiiii

7 years later & Yoosung is still addicted to LOLOL. Keep it up, Yoosung. Live your best gaming life.

Now she’s plotting murder against her own dad. Goodness. & Yoosung just TOLD her this entire dark plot of the game. Lmaooooo

What happened to Vanderwood? Did he accept working at C&R? How is he? Is he eating? Did he take a vacation away from Saeyoung? I need to know.

Jihyun’s speech to his wife is sweet. Now kiss!

Omg I can’t believe I didn’t get to smooch him at all. What.

What.

100 HOURGLASSES TO RESET?!?! HIGHWAY ROBBERY! I need to save up all over again for when (if) they drop a Saeran After End

“JUDGE” Ending

No, going back to the place you hate most isn’t a sufficient form of punishment for the crimes you’ve committed. You can’t just punish yourself & call it justice. Thank u, next.

Why the fuck is Rika called Serena now?! How many names does she have?! 

Is Rika really free & just doing her own apology tour?! No trial or hospital involved? I’m????

Yoosung’s dialogue makes it seem like he still wants Rika around. Flip flop. 

I do enjoy that Yoosung is a very emotional character, even if sometimes in the stories I don’t agree with him. He’s always very open & honest with how he feels, even if taken to extremes.

Jaehee’s discussion with Rika was very rational. As expected.

Damn Zen gave her the boot double quick.

Jumin: “You are a minus given a breathing body.” Ohhhhhhh my god. 😮😮😮 & he told her he wants her sent to a lab to have data collected from her. Jumin is ANGRY.

So this discussion with Saeran is meant to be in her own head, yeah?

Ok her discussion with Saeyoung felt real -ish again but then her discussion with Jihyun sounded bizarre & far-fetched again. So has she just been inside her own head this entire time?

What the fuck... is going on.

Wow, let’s toss in some sexual assault via clergymen to spice things up. Alright. /s What the hell is this?

This ending is fucking bonkers

Omg Zen’s robotic reply made me lose my shit. First time I’ve laughed because of this ending.

Poor Vanderwood. He sounded excited to have a line.

Sooo... the ending has just been a mock of how a Rika route would have gone if she had one?

Wait this was all just MC’s dream?! Rika’s dream?

& now Rika is in a coma?!? What? What???!! I’m... tired.

You know what, at least Saeyoung & Saeran are back together. Silver lining. The only silver lining to this madness.

Yoosung got a whole new look again. I’ll admit, for a hot second I thought he had become a cult leader & I was worried.

Sooo... the RFA became some sort of support group for Rika’s victims?????

Jumin doesn’t want to be a part of the meetings because he doesn’t particularly subscribe to their efficiency. Zen just doesn’t want to be involved because he doesn’t want the reminder. Jihyun basically just didn’t show up. So is this to mean the RFA has fallen apart entirely? Rename the group, change your ideals, be more open with each other, & formulate new ways to create charity events/fundraisers. Find a new purpose together! PULL. YOURSELVES. TOGETHER.

Ugh. Ugggghhhhhhh.

So, I’ve sat on this for a little under 24 hours. I let it sink in, in hopes that I could make better sense of it. But honestly, I don’t feel like I have. I feel perhaps this after end should have been listed in a separate section like the secret endings. These episodes certainly read more like a secret ending.

Rather than call this “V’s After End” I think it would make more sense to have called this “V’s Route After End” (or even “Rika’s After End”). This ending felt more like a means of giving closure to the route itself, rather than an acknowledgement of Jihyun’s relationship with MC. We were shown Saeran was alive, we were given Saeyoung & Saeran reunited with one another finally, we got answers as to what happened with Rika & how she ended up in Alaska, we found out why Jihyun was really away for two years, we had Saeyoung & Saeran stepping out from the hunting shadow of their father. Questions were answered, resolutions of sorts were given.

When I think of “after end” I’ll admit, I assumed we would be given a short snippet of story revolving primarily around Jihyun & MC post-good end, like we had for the other characters; not this dramatic saga between the end of the route & before Jihyun returns two years later. 

Jihyun’s route revolved around him understanding his relationship with Rika & then distancing himself from that & trying to find himself. His route felt like it had more Jihyun x Rika content than it did Jihyun x MC content. This After End there was hardly any Jihyun x MC content as he was gone essentially the entire time. He really Noped Out of his own After End; I’m still a bit shocked I paid so many hourglasses for V content.... only to not be given V content. I admit, I feel foolish & cheated, somehow. I went in hoping for more content about a character I was interested in, only to be given this dramatic story revolving around a character I don’t particularly care for.

I’m disappointed that there is a Forgive or Judge aspect to this ending. 

In the Forgive path/end, the blame of Rika’s crimes & actions is pinned on Rika’s mental illness, choice individuals swaying her into taking particular actions ( “embrace your devil” ), and various circumstances she’s had to endure & live through. By introducing this new character (Mika?), are we meant to blame her instead of Rika? Is she a scapegoat since the idea was originally hers & not Rika’s, even though Rika was the one that enacted everything? On top of this, Yoosung is shown to be reading a psychology book & also comes to the conclusion that what Rika has done isn’t really her fault, but the fault of her circumstances. All of this feels like we were being ushered into forgiving Rika and feeling guilty if we don’t. Provided you do choose to forgive Rika, she finds her own inner happiness, becomes “her own sun”, and goes off to live her life in Alaska; no consequences aside from distance (physical & emotionally) from her once friends/family & developing a negative public appeal. This forgive path directly ties in with Jihyun’s good end, implying it’s the better (intended?) ending. That doesn’t sit well with me. MC shouldn’t have to forgive their captor & tormentor in order to achieve their own “good” end. 

In the Judge path/end, the other characters often show hesitancy when MC expresses she will never be able to forgive Rika. There are philosophical chats about what is actually good vs bad, what is just, & who is to decide these sort of standards. We are led to question if holding on to a grudge hurts ourselves or the other party more. And in the end, when we choose to judge Rika, the RFA falls apart; everyone is miserable. Again, the reader is left feeling as if their judgement was too harsh, too cruel, or uncalled for as the consequences of it have seeped out & negatively touched other people. Rika falls into a coma – doesn’t go off to live her life in Alaska, doesn’t find her own inner peace – & this is all because she was blamed or shunned for her actions, as opposed to being forgiven. Why does everyone’s happiness depend on MC forgiving her captor?  It all left a sour taste in my mouth.

I understand the discussion of what is truly good vs bad or what is meant to be just & unjust can go fairly deep, but I feel that discussion applies only to circumstances that are in a grey area. What Rika did (attempted murder, abuse, emotional & physical manipulation, drugging/brainwashing) is clear cut wrong. There is no question that these are bad decisions. It should not be up for debate whether these sorts of actions are “good or bad.” While I do not deny that Rika’s past (whatever it fully may be as I have not read her backstory DLC) has attributed to her behaviors, it does not excuse them. I believe that mental illness does not excuse someone’s actions.

These are two very extreme endings - either Rika gets off free from her actions or she becomes comatose & succumbs to a darkness. Why have these drastic differences when you can merge the two; have Rika go through treatment to help her, serve a punishment that is fitting of her crimes, help her grow & understand, then have forgiveness come later? There were several options within gameplay along the lines of “I hope one day I can forgive her” & “I hope she finds her peace.” I see nothing wrong with not having MC forgive Rika but still wish for progress to be made.

Everyone was happier in the end where you forgave Rika, though. And isn’t that what everyone wanted in the end?

Overall, I didn’t mind Yoosung & Zen portraying the voices that provide the philosophical discussions in the routes and this After End. In fact, I enjoyed the chats with them as I tend to find philosophical discussions thought provoking, even if I do not always agree with what these characters were expressing. While MM is marketed as a visual novel romance, it has never shied away from delving into deeper topics & oftentimes tries to provide a lesson. Perhaps this time, the lesson they hoped to get across, didn’t hit the mark with me.

Yoosung’s emotions were very extreme in this After End. I have come to expect Yoosung being very up front, unapologetic, & pushy with his feelings. In a game where so many characters are often keeping secrets, it’s almost refreshing to have a character that is so viscerally open. Personally, I found it interesting that Yoosung’s feeling towards Rika had flipped so drastically. It was almost as if he was now trying to overcompensate for his previous idolization of her. 

I’m still of the opinion that the world does not deserve Jumin Han. Through his own pain & suffering, through dealing with the disappearance of his dearest friend, through having to come to terms with the fact that a woman he once considered a close friend turned out to be someone so villainous, he has stepped up & even at one point risked his own company, reputation, & livelihood to protect someone he now considered family. He used his time & resources to help as much as he could. He sat & genuinely listened to Saeyoung & calmly gave input despite Saeyoung verbally lashing out at him. I’ll admit I hated that Jumin seemingly became an alcoholic, or at least heavily dependent on wine, during the stretch of time these After Ends covered. He was suffering, but because he needed to keep his shit together, he used liquor as his means of turning off his brain so he wouldn’t think too heavily about what was happening, otherwise he’d spiral. You can bet your ass that every time there was an option to choose “How is Jumin doing?” I took it, because this man needs someone to look out for him while he’s busy looking after everyone else. I love him. He remains my favorite. 

I am thrilled Saeran is alive. I am ecstatic Saeyoung & Saeran got the reunion I had been hoping for (& in both endings!). The doctor part of me really wishes his treatment & recovery occurred in a hospital, instead of some nature tour with Jihyun while wearing Jedi robes, but beggars can’t be choosers in fiction, I suppose. I am glad Saeran is safe, recovering, had the time to heal his relationship with Jihyun, & is living with Saeyoung now. It’s what I wanted for him.

On one hand, I can see why Jihyun kept Saeran being alive a secret (Saeran wasn’t ready to see Saeyoung yet, he was detoxing, he needed more recovery time, he needed the peace away from everything, if Saeyoung knew he would have gone after them immediately rather than wait for some time to pass) but on the other hand, I had had enough of the secrets. I am glad though that the story allowed for Saeyoung to have some hope that Saeran was alive. If the narrative had left no suggestion of hope & Saeyoung had fallen into a depression of sorts, then I feel when Saeran was finally revealed he [Saeyoung] may have not handled it as well. But Saeyoung was given a chance to hope, to grow, to finally relax/settle where he was, & was allowed time himself to recover from everything that happened, which I think helped in how he received Saeran’s reappearance.

Definitive proof that Vanderwood has grown to care about Saeyoung as a person?! Sign me the fuck up. That was amazing. I greatly enjoy Vanderwood.

With Saeyoung, I did enjoy seeing his range of emotion & reactions to this entire ordeal. He was desvasted, broken, distraught, angry. My heart went out to him & I felt his pain. His monologues were great. His reactions felt real. It was a bit jarring to see how readily he was contemplating suicide & how quickly he cast that aside as soon as some other bit of info to cling to came along. I understand, though, that this story took place in a short amount of time & the creators were trying to portray his progression in the time they had. I am tickled that he was offered a 10 year contract with C&R & that he readily accepted. I have enjoyed seeing him begin to accept that he can plant roots somewhere, open up to those around him, & not fear that he’ll one day have to leave.

I was originally miffed that Jihyun went off for two years on his own, seemingly to get over Rika, making MC wait around, before he could commit himself to MC. Knowing now that those two years were actually spent helping to rehabilitate Saeran in seclusion, I am assuaged. A bit.

I am, however, left feeling as though maybe MC isn’t meant to be with Jihyun. I’ve certainly felt as if there is more push to have Jihyun x Rika remain together as Cheritz still doesn’t give, what I would consider, adequate bonding & development between Jihyun x MC (not that 11 days of story in any of the routes could be described as adequate bonding time, lolol). Majority of Jihyun’s scenes (in his route) are about him reminiscing about his past with Rika, rather than discussions that may cultivation a budding relationship with MC. I like Jihyun, but it feels likes it’s been made intentionally hard to romance him. Maybe it was naive of me to hope we would get cute scenes of Jihyun & MC getting to know one another more, or be shown ways Jihyun made it up to MC for being gone for so long, or even a mini date story, or actually seeing the proposal happen, or even a kiss? But I did hope for all of that, so I can’t pretend I’m not sad we didn’t getting to see it. The romance between Jihyun & MC feels brushed aside, like an afterthought, & I was hoping that this After End would finally put it at the forefront of the story told.

While I don’t like how the situation with Rika was handled in either route, & while this After End was not at all what I was expecting (I just wanted to kiss Jihyun, omg), it wasn’t a total loss for me since the twins are reunited & happy, which I think may have been my biggest wish. The voice acting as phenomenal & I can tell how much time & effort Cheritz put into creating this mammoth, complex & thought-provoking story. I’ll be honest & admit that I am upset I spent so many hourglasses for content that seemed packaged as Jihyun content but turned out to be more about Rika, but nothing can be done about that now. 

If I had to pick an ending I preferred, it would definitely be the Forgive End, as there is more happiness for everyone I care about when it concludes. It was nice seeing Jihyun & MC have their little family, even if it was a very brief interaction. Their adoption of a little girl feels like a nod to Rika, of sorts. Perhaps that isn’t what Cheritz intended, & maybe there is no hidden meaning to why they adopted at all, but I am happy to see Jihyun & MC having brought a child into their home to create a family with.

The CGs are beautiful. Is there even a way to unlock the title page Jihyun proposal CG? I didn’t get it in my play-through at all. 

I didn’t hate this After End, but I definitely didn’t love it either. I guess it kind of falls in a strange floaty grey middle area for me, somewhat flat. Hopefully many of y’all enjoyed it! I look forward to seeing what they may give us for Saeran’s After End. I have a feeling that may be a wild story too.

[heesgf]

bad boy! byounggon

a long but cute and fluffy bad boy bullet scenario :’))) pls read

this is my bullet scenario debut so im rlly gonna try and make it pop let’s get it

OK SO mr byounggon is a little bit of a bad boy, mostly because he’s not super loud, and he doesn’t necessarily make his presence known all the time... so he’s kinda just ,,, in quiet disapproval of everything

u could be laughing rlly loud with ur friends and being rlly obnoxious in the hallway but when he walks by ur kinda like.. O shit be quiet!!!212!!... bc ur not tryna have him roll his eyes at u (bc he will)

I think he’s partially so reserved bc ppl dont talk to him bc they’re scared,,, but bby just thinks ppl dont like him so he’s a lil :’((( about it

Lowkey but highkey everybody thinks he’s rlly hot!! One time a girl tried to impress him by vaping in his face and he was just like... bitch Tf... ಠ_ಠ... pls step away

He’s ALWAYS late to class bc he’s polishing the handles of his motorcycle and somehow none of the teachers are bothered

He’ll just pop in like 30 minutes into class, in the middle of a class discussion about why technology is ruining the planet; the teacher will give one look, smile at him, and then it’s all chill & dandy

Which is fucking RUDE bc one time u were late to class bc u got the RUNS at the end of P.E.,,,, and she was merciless!! She hit u with the “30,000 word essay due tonight” bitch!!!

Injustice™

So he’s late for the 3904390th time one day, and you’re super mad!! The second he walks in you feel urself fuming, and u turn to ur friend Junkyu who’s already giving u the 👀

Ur SO MAD u start going off,,, and ur like “that fucking jerk he’s always late and ms. johnson doesn’t give a single fuck... in FACT ! she loves his ass. This isn’t fair, honestly im gonna bring this to the principal”

And junkyu’s just cackling away bc ur doing The Most right now, and honestly ur kinda loud, so ppl just are looking @ u like “ .....? ...? are u ok ?? ?”

The answer is no

So ur talking ur shit storm all the way thru your teacher’s instructions, and she introduces a partner project (#cliche am i right)

Junkyu’s already grasping ur hands bc ur his ride or die

But before y’all can start giggling in harmony bc best friends forever, Ms. johnson gives u this rlly fat smirk, and she’s like “hehe... im making partners”

Thats when ur soul dies bc u happen to have the Worst Luck when it comes to partner assignments

Ur always partnered with that one dude that excuses himself to go to the bathroom, but then just vapes outside for 46 minutes,,, and u have to do the WHOLE thing urself,,, and ms johnson just bats her eyelashes and gives u one of these :-) “is there an issue?” and ur just like “:/// no im ok”

(ur not ok)

THIS TIME she’s looking around the classroom, and she starts pairing ppl up

When she pairs junkyu up with this other girl u feel like ur about to have a stroke,,, he gives u a sad lil frown and now ur in ur #feels

Suddenly ms Johnson points right @ you and she’s like “YOU!”

And right at that moment, mr byounggon gets up so he can go polish his bike handles for the 89th time this morning

And she’s like “(y/n) and byounggon, u guys are partners”

Ur like :o

He’s like :o

Ms. johnson’s like XD lolz :P!!!

Junkyu squeezes ur hand one last time, and he’s like “pls dont kick his ass plz, u don’t have the arm strength”

And ur like “PLS~~~~he might LOOK tough but he’s probably a rlly lame loser....” and then junkyu scurries away to another table group

Byounggon walks toward u

And as he’s walking ur crossing ur arms, and mumbling under ur breath, ‘god why ME, WHY’

Ur interrupted from ur sad hour bc byounggon yanks the chair across from u and finally sits his ass down,,,,

He’s looking outside the window,, probably @ his bike, honestly they’re a ship, #byounggbike

U kinda just look at him, absorb everything,, ur like “o dam... he DOES look tough”

His hair is jet black and messy but somehow perfect? He’s got this silver cross earring that dangles down from one ear, and when he lifts his hand to scratch his face, u notice the silver rings on his hands... and ur like... hmm kinda sexy...

Ur in ur own world, just staring at his VRY plump lips that are literally the perfect colour... no lip products needed damn

And the longer u stare, u realize his eyes are kinda sparkly? And his teeth are perfect? And he as a rlly cute long neck

In the middle of ur trance, byounggon’s so confused, honestly a little bit offended, bc ur just staring at him with ur eyebrows knitted, rlly intently, like ur analyzing him

He narrows his eyes and he’s like “what!”

U kinda jump in ur seat and ur like shit fUCK, he must be so weirded out by me rn (he is)

Ur mouth is agape, and u dont rlly know what to say, so u DONT SAY ANYTHING

And that makes him MORE frustrated

He’s like “WHAT are u looking at!”

And ur like

“SFOSJDFIOS... ur eyes are rlly pretty!”

For a second he thinks ur joking

But u look at him so expectantly, and ur cheeks are FLUSHED, so he thinks u might be serious; ur heart is beating 3430430 miles per hour, and u gulp,

But listen -- u HAD to say it-- bc ur mama taught u to give compliments when u think them! She’s a nice lady

Anyways back to the story

Ur definitely about to go into cardiac arrest

And ms johnson’s just sitting behind her desk like 👀🍵

Byounggon’s quiet for a moment

And for a Hot Second™ u think ur about to get ur ass BEAT (not physically, but verbally ;))

But then u notice the tops of his ears are turning a rlly deep red, and he averts his eyes downward

He mumbles a rlly rlly rlly quiet “ .. thanks”; and he says it so fast u almost miss it, but he sAID IT!

Then it’s quiet again and the level of awkward is so intense u want 2 die

Junkyu looks over to you from his table and he’s thinking ‘shit some real shady business must have gone down bc they wont even LOOK @ each other”

Little does he know.....

So u clear ur throat suddenly like “AHEM ok,,, we should probably work on this”

And he’s like “aight”

he seems so tough when he says things like that, but he was such a shy boy two seconds ago

So you guys get started

And it’s basically a project where you introduce the other person to the class with a video... so u rlly gotta get to know each other, and bond and all that cute stuff

And u already KNOOOOO if u dont do well, ur gonna face ms. johnson’s wrath, so ur really invested in doing a good job

And as an added BONUS!!! Ms. johnson says the group that does the best job on the project doesn’t need to take part in the final exam

And ur like BOOOOOYAHH!!! Bc final exams always fuck u over, and u go down like 5% just bc u momentarily lose ur mind and suffer

So ur #dedicated

In this beginning, byounggon rlly doesn’t open up that much, and ur genuinely concerned because it seems like ur going to be making a five minute video about how much he loves his bike (hint: A LOT)

But then u make a rule!! Ur like “hehe... no more bike talk.. Okay?”

And that’s when the Good Stuff comes out

You learn all this wild shit about byounggon

U go down the list of questions miss johnson gave ya’ll and you’re learning all about how  how he likes writing songs, and composing music, and for some weird reason, he rlly likes bowling

Then ur like “whats ur fav body part”

He looks @ u rlly funny, and he’s kinda chuckling, giving u the “uhh are u sure that’s a question, or are u just curious?”

Ur FLABBERGASTED

You shove the paper in his face and you point at the question like a crazy person and he puts his hands up and he’s like “DAMN ok i get it”

Ur not rlly mad tho... homeboy’s got #jokes

He forces a smile, and then he juts out his finger at his cheek

And he’s like

“I like my Dimple.. It’s pretty impressive tbh”

U kinda just wanna bug him so ur like “mmm nah i dont think it’s all that impressive... not that cute” (ITS RLLY THAT CUTE THO)

He pretends to be rlly offended, and he sticks his tongue out and kinda bites it

Like tHIS:

Mr byounggon is NOT having ur sass today !

Ur trying to keep a straight face but FUCK he looks rlly hot in this moment, and suddenly, ur thinking... “fav body part.... Every part!”

He laughs it off, and he’s like, “nah dude, u have to see it in The Moment! That’s when you’ll respect The Dimple”

U deadpan at him bc.... LMFAO did he rlly just say “respect The Dimple”

Yes queen he did

U guys continue like this for a while, until the bell rings, and after, he scratches the back of his neck, and he’s struggling to make eye contact

When he looks like this, u rlly start to wonder how ppl could think he ever looked intimidating,,, bc GOD when his cheeks are a light shade of pink, and his eyes are wandering, and his hands are shaky, he looks so frickin CUTE

He’s like... “so u want start filming @ ....atmyhouselater...?”

Ur like w o t did u just say sir

And he’s like: “do u want to start filmingatmyhouselater!!!”

The classroom is loud bc ppl are shuffling outside, and he’s talking so fast, and honestly, ur just distracted by the hair that’s shifting in and out of his eyes... sparkly eyes... ANYWAYS

Ur like... “byounggon... pls enunciate” !!!

FINALLY,,, smoothly and clearly,,, he says “wanna start filming at my place later?”

And ur shook

But SO EXCITED

Bc u’ll see the Home of Byounggon

Ur like “hehe... yeES”

And then he’s like “ok cool” and fucking BLASTS OUT THAT CLASSROOM LIKE NO TOMORROW

For a second ur kinda shook bc damn.... Does he not have whiplash???

U turn around and u have this fucking goofy smile on ur face

Junkyu slowly walks up to and he’s like “... is it just me, or do you look happy after talking to... byounggon?”

U look @ him in distaste

“It’s just u bitch!”

He can’t know... . ... . . YET.

***TIME SKIP BBY*****

During lunch, u spilled to Junkyu about all the shit that went down with byounggon, and how u were feeling kinda gushy

When u told him u were gonna go to byounggon’s after school, he lost his damn mind

He was like: “take pictures and send them to me PLZ”

U were like: “TF NO!.... hehe ok maybe”

After school, u give junkyu a fat hug bc he’s a cuddly koala bear, and he wishes you good luck!! Then u run to ur locker and try and act cool

Byounggon pops into the hallway a few seconds later, and he raises his eyebrows @ u, and gestures toward the door

U try not to RUN over to him, and restrict urself to a respectable speed walk

He kinda chuckles bc ur .... cute.

U guys both walk outside and ur anticipating his mom to kinda just appear and drive u both to his place,,

No bitch

That’s not happening

U guys walk out to the side of the school, and u see the world famous #byounggbike

He shoots you a thumbs up and he’s like “mm ok so just hop on!”

Ur like

“Ha a ha .. wh at?”

He smirks all cocky, and he’s like “what? You’ve never rode a motorcycle before or something?”

Ur like. “HA! Whaaaaaaat? Of COURSE i ride motorcycles... in fact, i ride them... . . allllways...”

And he’ s like .......... ok shutup and get on

So u pop ur cute butt onto the seat, and he gets on, and he’s like: “okay, make sure u hold on rlly tight, ok? It can be dangerous”

U kinda scoff bc damn... he’s doing The Most rn isn’t he? So ur all like “PSSHHHTT... i dont even need to im a natural--”

And suddently u dont even have time to let out a breath bc homebody just GOES

IMMEDIATELY u latch ur arms around his waist and ur shutting ur eyes rlly tightly and screaming like “WTF HOW COULD U DO THAT WITHOUT A WARNING”

When he slows down @ the red light, u can FEEL his smirk from the backseat, and he’s like “o well u said ur a pro so i just... went?”

U want to smack his stupid mouth,,, but also,,,, k*ss his stupid mouth

Honestly byounggon was right

When u see The Dimple in the moment,,,, u really fall for it

The ride from then on is mostly smooth, and now ur kinda relaxed, so u just feel the breeze flying threw ur hair

U lose ur hair tie but its ok

Bc u do that everywhere

Ur sort of just enjoying the moment, and honestly it’s kinda peaceful??? U kinda like #byounggbike... now u guys are a ship... #(y/n)bike

Byounggon notices ur vibing with his bike, and it makes him smile rlly wide

At one of the stop lights, he looks at you in his peripheral vision and ur laughing and in ur own lil world

Ur so cute

He likes it so much

He starts riding again, and then just to keep u on ur toes, the boy SWERVES on the road a little bit and ur like “FUCKING STOP DOING THAT ILL KILL U”

And he’s LAUHGIGN so hard, and the laugh is deep, and it vibrates through his whole body

U feel it when ur arms are wrapped around him

and there’s this devilish look in his eyes

It’s really fucking cute

But u wont tell him that.

U guys finally arrive at The House of Byounggon, and you rush into his place bc damn... it’s cold outside! And he’s wearing a sleeveless black top AHHHHHHHHHHHH bicep palooza

U guys get warm inside!!!! And u meet his mom!!! The cutest woman in the entire world!!! And she brings you guys carrots and celery as u work

You ask more questions, and you learn about byounggon’s friends: seunghun, yedam, mashiho, hyunsuk

He shows u pics!!! Damn they’re literally all cute

Hot Squad

U tell byounggon u like to bake, so he comes up with a brilliant idea

He’s like “oh!!!! My mom’s about to make some cherry pie, make i can film u helping her out or smthh for the video”

U guys pile into the kitchen to help his mom, but she’s got the TEA!!!!! She’s like “hehe kids, i’ll be right back i need to do... something.....(y/n) knead this dough while im gone”

She YEETS tf outta there!!! And she’s nowhere to be found for a suspiciously long amount of time... hmmmm

Byounggon films u kneading the dough, but honestly, u dont know what tf ur doing

When u said u liked baking,,, u meant like...box cake

Ur playing with the dough like it’s a slime video, and byounggon is laughing his fucking head off while u just suffer

“Ur doing a rlly good job” he says with his mouth full of cherries

Ur about to tell him tf off for eating ur ingredients when ur hair falls out ur hair tie and it’s all over ur damn face

Byounggon’s like.... O shit

And ur like..... He LP

He comes to ur rescue

“What..... do i do”

U tell him to take the hair tie off the ground, and grab ur hair into a ponytail

His hands are so tentative, honestly a lil shaky, and for a brief second, he skims the skin of ur neck with his fingers

Ur body: shook

U have shivers all over and he bounces AWAY FROM U and he’s like “i- im sorry it was an accident”

Ur like... chill tf out brother... it’s cool

He comes back, ties ur hair into the ugliest side ponytail u ever saw, and u guys continue filming

“U made me look so ugly byounggon ur shady af” ur whining to him as u guys watch the clips back

Byounggon gasps!!! He’s like !!! “u did that urself!”

Then u wanted to kill him bc... did this bitch just call u ugly

U laugh and hit his shoulder!! And he’s like “nah im playing u always look cute”

IT COULD’VE BEEN AWKWARD

But u play it cool!!! And u smile at him, and he smiles at u

Then ur like

“Hey can i tell u a secret?”

“... what?”

“Honestly, ur not as bad as ppl make u seem”

He looks @ u with the stupidest smile but he knits his brows and he’s like GEE thank u (y/n), that is so kind of u!!! Ur so kind!!!

And ur like “NOOO hear me out, okay? You’re really nice, and smart, and sweet, and cute.. Ur rlly not as tough as u look....”

He’s kinda hurt, and he puffs his chest out, and kinda pouts

“Im tough.....”

U guys both just laugh

Moments like this continue for the next two weeks as you guys work on ur projects

Somehow byounggon convinces you to go bowling???

You finally go!!! and surprisingly, you beAT HIS ASS SO GOOD???~~~~ for someone that talked such mad shit about his skills,,,, ur rlly thought he’d do well

He got like.... 64 points

U got 107

He BEGGED u not to put that in the video!!!!!!!! Like so so so so badly!!! He offered to give you a ride home on #byounggbike everyday

U told him u wouldn’t put in it

And then the day of, when it popped up in front of the whole class, u were like SIKE BITCH I PUT THAT SHIT IN ANYWAYS!

He was choked up ! but dw he was ok

The whole time the video is playing, u guys are smiling at each other

Junkyu’s looking at u both with the most incredulous look on his face and he’s like... “am i interrupting something, here?”

“Shhhhhh.... Im looking at The Dimple”

“W h  a  t”

When ms johnson announces that u and byounggon had the best project, u just about pop out of ur seat, and u run ALL the way to byounggon, and u wrap ur arms around his neck, and u swing a lil bit off ur feet

He’s smiling so hard, The Dimple is #out, and the rumbling of his chest makes ur heart flutter

In that moment of excitement, u feel really bold, and u lurch forward and just plant the sweetest little kiss on byounggon’s cheek

He kinda does the :o

For a second, ur like... fuck SHIT,, i just fucked all the shit up

But then byounggon looks down at u

And he’s 4290290% heart eyes

He crouches into your ear, and he’s like, “hey can i tell u a secret?”

Ur nodding ur head like ur in a fucking trance

“I like you, (y/n)”

“I like u too, byounggon”

You guys are both smiling, junkyu’s gagging in the corner, ms johnson is loving every minute of this

U force urself on ur tippy toes, look into this sparkly eyes, and u crash ur lips onto his

His lips are soft and sweet, like strawberries

And when u pull away, he’s just as red as one too

While everyone else spends the next couple days studying for the final exam, you and byounggon are straight chillin

U guys spend ur time at the House of Byounggon, kissing the days away, and eating the carrots his mom provides for u both<333333333333

No bowling tho yikes :/// he’s scarred for life

thank u for reading and i LOVE U pls follow me im new

thank u guys for reading if u did!!!!! im a new ygtb blog <33 i plan on writing here and there, but im super dedicated rn bc there’s such little content. also, pls reach out to me, i want some friends <3 ok bye

[thranduilsperkybutt]

Gif source:  1  |  2  |  3

Series Masterlist

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Reader; Sam Winchester/Reader

Warnings:  Some cursing. Lengthy exposition. Nothing else, really.

Word Count: 3,982 words

Reader Gender:  Female

Author: Meg

Summary:  You bring Charlie up to speed on things and learn a little more about Sam from a colleague. Car trouble causes delays but a handsome stranger swoops in and saves the day. [While You Were Sleeping AU, Coffee-Shop!AU? — I’m playing fast and loose with the plot.]

A/N:  Ayyyy! Here’s part two! So this slow-burn is going slower than I planned, but I’ve got a lot of ideas! Next chapter things are going to start to heat up between Dean/Reader and I plan on going into some more detail on both of their pasts! Hope y’all keep enjoying!

|  Part 2  |  Long Road Home

“You told them what?”

“Shh!” you hiss quickly, glancing around the shop to make sure none of the patrons had been too disturbed by Charlie’s startled shout. Charlie, on the other hand, hardly seemed worried about the few curious eyes her outburst had drawn, too occupied with gaping at you in disbelief to notice. You couldn’t blame her; not after the story you filled her in on over the course of the morning, “I know, I know! All I wanted to do was make sure he was okay, but everything just snowballed out of control!”

“A snowball would be an understatement! You’re like Indiana Jones in Raiders, and the giant boulder that’s chasing you is the web of lies you’re weaving!” Charlie waves her hands at you dramatically, but there was a teasing tone in her voice, “You’re so doomed!”

“Thanks,” you comment sarcastically, “that’s really what I needed to hear right now, with the family dinner right around the corner. You’re a big help, Charlie.”

Leaning on the counter top, you’re thankful the Coffee House’s morning rush had decided to settle down with the nearing of noon, making it easier to finally have this talk with your friend. The night of the accident, the best you could do upon arriving home was to crash on your bed, your exhaustion taking all the wind out of you. But in the light of day, you found yourself seriously in need of Charlie’s insight on the situation, despite her reputation for brutal honesty or her lack of viable relationship advice. With her having gone to her class yesterday, you hadn’t seen her at work, and this was a conversation best had face-to-face.

“You know, you’re probably right,” reaching to take a sip of ice water from the Yeti you bought yourself this Christmas, a heavy sigh escapes you, “Maybe I should just back out of it. Come up with an excuse not to go---”

“Oh, no you don’t! You have to go to it,” Charlie interrupts, nearly making you choke on your water as her features smooth with her seriousness. She tugs her hair out of its falling messy ponytail, letting the fiery tendrils drape across her shoulders for an instant as she pops the band around her wrist.

“What? I thought I was ‘doomed,’ remember? Your words, not mine,” quoting her in the air with your index and middle fingers, you fix her with a skeptical brow. What’s with the sudden one-eighty? She was going to give you whiplash at this rate.

“Oh, you are still totally doomed, my dude,” she breaks into a teasing grin, pulling her hair back up to fix it into a, hopefully sturdier, bun, “but this is the most interesting thing that’s happened in the past three years I’ve known you! I’ve gotta’ see how it turns out. Nothing exciting ever happens to you!”

“Wow, Char,” rolling your eyes, you scoff. “Glad to know this is at least amusing for you! Meanwhile, I’ll just completely wallow in my own guilt about living a lie! His family--- they’re so nice to me. They wanted to know how we met, what made me know he was the one, and all I could say was that his eyes were kind. I don’t deserve how nice they are.”

“Okay, fine! If you won’t listen to me, listen to… Cas!” she calls, drawing him to look up from where he was currently in the midst of restocking the blueberry muffins, “Cas, please tell (Y/N) that she should go to her fake-fiancé’s family dinner!”

“Don’t drag Cas into this,” the protest does nothing to quell her enthusiasm. You can see it in her eyes, she was nowhere through with trying to convince you to go.

Cas’ dark brows draw together in confusion beneath the Charlie’s Coffee House cap he wore, before he decides it’s better to not question her too much, and fixates his sapphire eyes on you, “You should go to your fake-fiancé’s family dinner.”

In all honesty, you didn’t need much convincing to go. Somewhere buried beneath the rational side of you who knew there was something morally wrong with lying to Sam’s family more than you already had, was a desperate want to experience a family dinner. You ached to have at least one day’s worth of the simple family gathering you never got to have. Living your life with an estranged family was better than being around them, but it still hurt that you could never experience the things that normal families got to. Gathering around a dinner table always seemed just barely out of your family’s reach, each Christmas or Thanksgiving being filled with some sort of drama or falling-out. The dysfunctional circular motions your family went in each year resulted in your slow drift away from them, until it culminated in this year, when you hadn’t even received so much as a phone call on Christmas.

As one last-ditch effort to talk yourself out of it and listen to the morally-correct angel clinging onto your shoulder by a thread, you murmur, “I should tell them I’m not his fiancée. Ripping the band-aid off sooner is better than later, right?”

While you had expected Charlie to start in on you, it’s Cas that pulls your listening ear back to him, “While I did not catch all of your story, (Y/N), I believe I’ve heard enough to have a grasp on the situation you find yourself in. From my perspective, I don’t think you should tell your fake-fiancée’s family the truth right now.”

“Someone pinch me! Did the saint just tell you to lie?” Charlie quips, making Cas’ shoot her a mildly annoyed glare at her teasing nickname for him.

“All I’m saying is, what good would come from it? Think about it,” Cas begins, leaning beside you on the counter as he tries to make his point clear, “if you do tell them, yes, they most likely would be upset, but they also are having to handle their son’s accident, too. Do you really think it is the time to give them the truth? It’s a mercy to keep it to yourself, at least for now.”

“What happens when Sam wakes up, though? It’s going to be even worse, then, if I don’t come clean now,” you worry your bottom lip with your teeth, feeling quite stuck between a rock and a hard place. It seemed that whatever you did, the end result left you hurting them, and admitting the embarrassing truth that you’d lied, regardless of what your initial intentions were.

What was the saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions. You never quite put too much thought into the phrase until right now.

“When Sam does wake up, at least that is one less thing they have to worry about,” he offers.

“Our friendly neighborhood saint has a point,” Charlie hums, gripping Cas’ shoulder in her own proud approval. “Maybe you should put it off until Sam’s back up and running. At least they won’t have to worry about you and Sam at the same time.”

“Ugh, I hate to say that you two are probably right,” you groan, rubbing your temples, “how did I get myself into this mess?”

“You told a fib,” it comes out jokingly, but all it makes you want to do is smack her for it. Luckily, you’re saved from the conversation by a vibrating in your back pocket. Pointing up your index finger in the universal gesture for them to hold on a second, you pull the phone from your pocket, not recognizing the name there.

Arthur Ketch, it announced.

“Huh,” you huff, debating whether you should even answer the call. It wasn’t even your phone, it was Sam’s. You had just been toting it around in case it got a call, but you hadn’t actually thought you would be on the receiving end of one, as Sam was in the hospital.

“Did you purchase a new phone?” Cas wonders, but you shake your head.

“No, it’s… Sam’s,” the admission earns a scandalized gasp from Charlie, and you quickly explain, “The hospital gave me his stuff! I’m the fiancée, remember?” Finally deciding it could be something important, you move away from the two of them, if only for the space to breathe that the distance provided. Swiping to answer, you lift the cell to your ear and motion for them to be quiet, “Hello? This is Sam’s phone.”

“Uhm, hello,” the man’s voice was accented, but curious, as he drawled through the crackly reception of the phone, “To whom am I speaking?”

“This is (Y/N), I’m… taking Sam’s calls while he’s in the hospital. Would you like to leave a message?”

“In the hospital? My goodness, so that explains why he hasn’t called in to the office! What’s he gone and done to himself this time?”

“He was hit by a car on Wednesday,” you reply, choosing the blunt approach. “He’s in a coma right now, but the doctors think he’s doing better. Sorry--- you said ‘the office?’ Are you from Sam’s work?”

“Ah, yes. My apologies. This is Arthur Ketch of MacLeod and Associates. I was calling to see why Sam had neglected work, but I dare say this is quite a valid excuse for not showing up, or giving a call-in, for that matter,” Arthur chuckled in his own amusement, before adding. “Which hospital did you say he was in, again?”

“I didn’t, actually, but he’s at Lawrence Memorial,” you wondered if your frown was audible through the phone. This guy didn’t even sound too upset at the news that Sam was in the hospital, as if this were just another business phone call. Freakin’ lawyers.

“We’re very sorry to hear that. I will definitely pass on the news to our partners. Of course, we wish Sam will get well soon,” he pauses, before adding, “He is one of our best attorneys, after all. But, it can’t be helped. Please, be certain to send our sympathies to his family. It is truly bad luck after the last accident.”

“The… last accident?” you press, only to hear Arthur click his tongue in response.

“It isn’t my place to say…”

“I’m sure the doctors would want to know about it,” a bit worried now, you wondered how Sam could have been hurt before. It could really be some information the doctors needed to know! It wasn’t as if his family knew a thing about him, it seemed.

“Well, I suppose you’re right.”

While Charlie was spending her Friday night on a much-anticipated date with her online friend Ruthy, who she had spent the last three months gushing to you about, you had a date of your own at the hospital.

Your Jeep had other ideas, though.

“Damn it,” you growl, kicking angrily at the tire that was comically flat, as if just for God to laugh at you. “Just had to ignore that repair, didn’t you, (Y/N)?” The nail that you’d been avoiding paying to have fixed until payday had finally taken its toll, when your tire had blown on the highway. Really, you were lucky you didn’t wreck when you felt the threatening thump-thump-thump of your rim on asphalt, but sitting at the side of the road, all you could do was blame yourself for this.

The sun was already low in the sky, and in another hour sunset would settle into nightfall. The last place you wanted to be was on the side of the road with a spare you couldn’t even put on because your damn lug-nuts were on too tight for you to be able to get off. With a defeated sigh, you crouch back down to take up the lug wrench once again, in the hopes that maybe third time's the charm and you find some strength you hadn’t had before.

You’re in the middle of struggling with it, a slew of grumbled profanities slipping from you, when the low rumble of an engine draws closer in the distance. Your attention isn’t drawn from your own work until you hear the car pull off the road, and you find the driver stopping a little behind your Jeep, blinding you slightly with the circular headlights and drawing your hand up to shield your eyes.

For a moment, your heart skips with icy adrenaline. You’d seen enough horror movies to know where this could go.

When the lights turn off, you blink away your blindness, the spots in your vision resolving just as the driver’s door opens and a man steps out, calling to you, “You need some help over there, princess?”

He was tall, with short hair that bordered on a buzz in the back, and stubble trailing along his jaw. His smile was warm, though, blindingly white teeth parting his plump lips. A leather jacket framed his broad shoulders, with a flannel layered beneath it, nearly covering the Henley that peeked from below.

But it was the car that caught your eye next. All black and sleek and something right out of a period piece set in the sixties. It was a car that was cared for--- fawned over--- that much was apparent.

Hell, it looked better than the old and slightly rusted ‘95 Jeep you bought off your uncle back in the day for two grand before leaving town, and was probably twice the age. At least. You were guessing it was a Chevy.

“Uh, yeah, actually,” you respond cautiously, after weighing your options. No way were you getting these lugs off by yourself, “Just having a hard time with the lug-nuts, is all.”

“Hey, leave it to me. I gotta’ impact wrench in my trunk, it’ll be better than that old thing you’re using,” you hadn’t thought his smile could get wider, but you caught a glimpse of it before he turned to move to his trunk, popping it and rummaging around. Your watch never left him, not wanting to turn your back on a stranger on the side of the highway.

It had absolutely nothing to do with how attractive he was. Yeah, nothing at all to do with that.

It doesn’t take him all that long to fish the wrench from his trunk, which he shakes a bit in his hand at you as if he’s discovered a treasure, before he makes his way on over. When he comes closer, you notice his eyes are green, right before he leans down towards your tire.

“I appreciate it,” you begin, but he just waves you off, taking the lugs off as if you hadn’t been struggling for the last thirty minutes with the damned things. You might just need to get yourself a wrench like the one he had, if you could save up enough.

“Don’t mention it. These things can be a bitch to get off with the manual wrenches, especially if they were tightened in a shop,” he sighs, making quick work of the flat and replacing it with your spare as you put the now-ruined tire in your cargo. By the time you come back around to the side of your car, he’s already lowering the jack, seemingly finished.

“There, should get you home now,” and he was grinning at you again.

“You have no idea what a life saver you are,” you sigh gratefully, but feeling a little guilty for taking up this kind stranger’s time, “I’d pay you for your time, but all I’ve got is like five bucks in cash and a gift card to Charlie’s Coffee House on me.”

He laughs at that, “Don’t worry about it. Just call it helping a damsel in distress.” With a playful wink, he moves around you to head back to his car, leaving you with the jack and repaired tire.

Still, you call after him, offering a wave as you climb back into your Jeep, “Thanks, stranger!”

Albeit a little later than you intended, you eventually arrived at the hospital to hand off the information you learned that morning from Arthur Ketch. Telling yourself you were there to pass on the info wasn’t enough to deny the fact that you didn’t want to go back to your empty house just yet. You could have turned around and went home as soon as you finished your conversation with the nurse, but instead you lingered, moving to Sam’s bedside.

“Hey,” you murmur low, almost half-hoping for an answer that doesn’t come, your only response his steady breathing, “do you mind if I sit?” With the chair comes a contented sigh, the ache in your heels subsiding just a bit as you finally get off your feet for the day. With a sigh, you murmur, “You won’t believe the day I’ve had.” Looking around the hospital room, you notice the things that hadn’t been there the day before.

There were flowers, an assortment of daisies in all different hues, along with the Get Well Soon cards that Jo had littered the windowsill with. A militarian-looking duffel bag was in the corner of the room, left by John, stuffed full of an extra set of clothes as if Sam could wake up at any moment and walk out of here. A tug in your heart reminded you how you wished he would, not just for his own sake, but for theirs.

“They love you,” a soft smile comes to your lips. “Mary misses you, more than from just this... I can tell.” Looking back to Sam, you sigh, “I’m sorry I roped you into this whole, engagement thing, but I couldn’t tell them I wasn’t really getting married to you. They let me in, and I can’t bring myself to tell them different.” Your hands fidget with your bag as you dangle it between your knees, your elbows resting on your thighs as you lean towards him, “I know it’s probably selfish, but I’m going to go to the family dinner, Sam. I don’t expect you to wake up and fall madly in love with me at first sight or anything--- I’m not going to ever be a perfect model girlfriend, like I’m absolutely positive you’ve had in the past--- no matter how awesome it would be to feel wanted like that, and if it was by you, that would be amazing, because the more and more I hear about you, the more amazing you apparently are. I know you’ll wake up and I’ll have to go on with my life. I know I’m going to have to let them go, but I just…” you huff out a chuckle, but there’s no humor behind it, “I don’t want to be alone for once, you know? I just want to have this one dinner, okay? Is that really so bad?”

Of course, Sam doesn’t answer. He just breathes steadily. He could have tricked you into thinking he was sleeping, if it weren’t for the hospital gown and the beeping of the monitors in the background.

Pursing your lips, you add dryly, reaching to brush his hair out of his face, “You’re a pretty good listener. Thanks, Sam.”

With a sigh, you will a smile onto your face, “Hey, on a lighter note, I got you something.” You fish through your back, pulling out the small, stuffed bear who proudly wore a tiny Lawrence Memorial shirt and had Feel Better embroidered on its left paw. It brings an embarrassed chuckle from you, “The gift shop is lined with rows of these things, but I think this one’s the cutest.” You sit it on the bedside table, making sure the bear can sit upright on its own before letting it go.

Dean’s anger was tempered just enough by the time he got to the hospital that he wasn’t entirely steaming as the elevator let him off at the floor his brother was apparently on.

“You needed to be focused on finishing the job. It’s not like you could have finished in Chicago any faster.”

Yeah, well, he could have damn well tried if he’d known something like this had happened. Dean would have dropped everything, job be damned. But he didn’t want to fight with his dad right now. Right now, Dean wanted to see his little brother.

Frustration and worry matched themselves in equal strides as he moved towards the nurse’s station, catching the eye of a plump woman with latte hued skin as he leaned over the counter to ask her softly for directions to his room.

“Oh, he’s in three-oh-eight, right over there on the left,” the nurse points out to him the room, drawing his eye to spot the glass-lined room. Dean’s about to thank her and head over, when she adds, “Just knock before you go in.”

“Wait--- I thought Sam was in a coma?” Dean raises a brow.

“So you don’t startle the fiancée,” she explains, looking with pity towards the room, “Poor thing comes by every night to check on him.”

Dean does a good job of hiding his shock. Keeping the emotion simmering beneath the surface. The most she gets is his widened eyes, though they turn towards the room quickly enough.

“Thanks for the tip.”

Dean maneuvers around another nurse wheeling a vitals machine as he makes his way to the door, peering through the window as inconspicuously as possible to catch sight of the fiancée he hadn’t known Sam had.

Her back was to him, seated in a chair as she leaned a bit on the edge of Sam’s bedside. Her fingers fiddled with a teddybear on the nightstand, trying to keep it from falling over before she could be satisfied with leaving it alone. A hint of recognition flashes through him as he stares at her, before moving to open the door without a knock.

The sound of the door opening draws your attention, and instinctively you move away from the bedside in case it was a doctor or nurse who needed to get to Sam, only for your eyes to find someone entirely different.

“It is you,” comes from the man in the doorway, who looked on at you with an incredulous look in his green eyes.

It was the guy who fixed your tire.

“Y-You! What are you doing here!” you stood, immediately on edge, your mind rushing back to the worst-case, horror-movie scenario, “Did you follow me?!”

“What?” his nose wrinkles up at the accusation, rolling his eyes, “No! I’m not some freakin’ creep who goes around stalking chicks who have flat tires on the freeway. Sam’s my brother!”

You weren’t as good at hiding your shock, your mouth parting slightly at the news, as your finger pointed at him warily, “So you’re Dean, then?”

“Now you’re on the right track, princess,” he sighs, before his eyes widen a fraction at himself and his hand comes to rub the back of his neck nervously, “Eh, I mean--- Guess it’s about time I learned your name, huh?”

“Oh! Yeah. Right,” you stammer, before offering it and an apology, “Sorry.”

“Well,” Dean frowns, glancing to Sam as he moves to the side of the bed, reaching out to give his brother’s hand a squeeze, “wish we met under better circumstances.” Dean’s eyes find yours again, studying you as you stood there awkwardly, as if trying to figure something out in his mind, before speaking, “So… you’re Sam’s fianceé, huh?” He said it like he already knew the answer, but just wanted to hear it confirmed from you for himself.

Heat burns at the back of your mind as you stammer out your lie, poorly, “Y-Yep. That’s me.”

Dean must take your nervousness for something else, because he just shakes his head with a sad sounding sigh, “I can get why he wouldn’t want to tell everyone all at once, but… I just can’t believe he didn’t tell me about you, though.”

[scarlettlawyer]

Part 12 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages Saga, the fanfic series by @renegadewangs​

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Vanquishing Mirages / Lifting Spirits: Part 10

Lifting Spirits: Part 11

We are rapidly hurtling towards the end. Or… the “end”.

--------

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 12

A single line into this chapter and it had already one-hit-killed me (IN A GOOD WAY). What.

Ohhh my weakness, my weakness…!

THIS SONG?? HIM? THIS SONG???

I have such happy and important memories attached to this song, it’s not just a case of “oh it’s upbeat and I like it” for me, it goes pretty deep. I’m BARELY into reading this chapter and was already put into an unbelievably good mood on the power of the song alone and the memories I have attached to it, let alone everything else about the fact that he is the one who is listeni – ohhhhh going straight for my weaknesses aren’t we.

I’ve gone over being so very happy that he has the ability to listen to music and enjoy it before but you went right ahead and, this was a whole other level, suddenly.

He can pick up & enjoy the happy vibes of this song, aaaah…!

He is listening to Wham! on repeat and no matter what you do, no takebacks, I’m cherishing this for FOREVER. XD

IT’S SO GREAT AND SO AMUSING BECAUSE IT’S H

“You take the grey skies out of my way! You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day! Turned a bright spark into a flame-”

He was going to die. He knew he was going to die.

Honestly GREAT work here with the mood contrast, but I was too busy being blown away/happy and amused by the song situation and shocked that the narrative just did this xDDD like I picked up on this mood whiplash and was like “um whoa” but it kinda passed like a blip when it came to my absorption of this scene/overall mood ahahaha.

Truly though, what excellent contrast going on here simultaneously wherein the reader is drawn into reading of these two threads of such different emotional resonance at the same tiiiime.

And it’s scenes like this where he’s doing stuff like, you know, just sitting and listening to music and the PORTRAYAL and I’m just sitting here like oh my g… s-stop encouraging me… please stop encouraging me… “I’M BAD ENOUGH AS IT IS WHEN IT COMES TO BEING A PHANTOM FAN I REALLY SHOULDN’T BE ENCOURAGED LIKE THIS..!” sdkjnsdnklsd …The rest of this chapter refuses to stop said encouraging. :P

”If, through some miracle, they’ll grant me leniency, I think I’ll spend the rest of my life tucked away in some quiet little corner. That’s the best way for me to stay out of trouble, isn’t it?”

But the image this gave me was so absurd it refused to stick and just bounced right off. That’s just – no, nah, that’s not how this works, you know? There is no good ending. That’s impossible. It’s execution or prison and that’s that. And I was still advocating for execution. Welp. This statement took me off guard and there was this moment of… A sense of… Something. Before I dismissed it. Before it got lost again amidst the other things as I read on.

“One might argue that trouble has a way of hunting some people down.”

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 13

Phoenix Wright would be taking the defense again, as it was just as the Luster trial;

“wait wait wait WHAT – PHOENIX WRIGHT IS DEFENDING? PHOENIX WRIGHT?”

This info is just CASUALLY dropped in this “oh yknow just like with the Luster trial” manner - NO??? THE LUSTER TRIAL WAS A PURE PLOY TO CAPTURE MIRAGE AND THE PHANTOM BEING THE DEFENDANT WAS JUST, BAIT. AND HE WAS ACTUALLY INNOCENT OF THAT SPECIFIC CRIME IN QUESTION AND THE VERDICT ULTIMATELY HADN’T MATTERED ANYWAY AND? IT WAS ALREADY KINDA WILD TO SEE PHOENIX ACTUALLY BEING THE PHANTOM’S DEFENSE ATTORNEY EVEN BACK THEN AND AND AND…!

It’s NOT like the Luster trial it’s VERY different.

Phoenix Wright taking on the defense of Alexander Luster Jr’s case IMMEDIATELY implies a couple of things. Since Phoenix Wright is the posterboy of the entire Ace Attorney franchise, and he has won ALMOST every case he has taken and in each and every one of those scenarios where he won the case, he has indisputably been on the side of good and the side of right and- and he, as a rule, always tends to side with what is right and what is just. He is always ALWAYS striving to be on the side of justice. AND HE IS NOW ALEXANDER LUSTER JR’S DEFENSE ATTORNEY…

The dynamic of the games alone, the Ace Attorney Specific Tropes™ instantly then marks whoever’s side Phoenix is on tends to be a) The Right, Good Side & b) The Winning Side, applying both to the defense of Lex here. That’s what this tells us. That’s what it tells me. Told me. The narrative is directly reaching over and saying “Phoenix is advocating for him, and therefore this is the team you SHOULD be on. This is the team you should be cheering for”. And given Phoenix’s track record, the chances of him losing this are very, very slim.

And I was kind of sitting there like “Hello??? Excuse me?”. The narrative seemed to almost have this… assumption that we should be… Automatically accepting of this. That somehow, we should uncritically want Phoenix to win this trial and for Lex to win his lenience. By bringing Phoenix into this that’s kinda what it appears to definitively tilt the direction in. And I, with a years-old grudge against a character in an ENTIRELY different story written by an entirely different person*, and had been stubborn & adamant from the very beginning that the phantom NEEDED to face execution at any cost when the notion of rehabilitation was raised, was NOT buying it. I was not buying this. The narrative felt like it was making an assumption about the audience’s predisposition – about the audience’s wishes - that still did not apply to me.

*TttP is, for the record, not the only reason I felt the way I did at this point in the narrative. I’ll get into some of the other things fuelling my feelings on the matter a little later. But heh, yeaahhhhh.

Because like, you have characters like Bobby and Athena who are already fully established Lex-supporters, which is totally fine, but Phoenix has barely been in this and we’ve had no scenes at all with him interacting with Lex – there’s been no set-up of “Phoenix wants to advocate for Lex” – we are simply informed of this matter-of-factly, which implies “of COURSE Phoenix would take on Lex’s defense, it’s so OBVIOUS that it’s the right thing to do.” And I was like “oh so we’re doing away with subtlety somewhat on this front regarding the narrative’s agenda?” sdjsdbks. (I MEAN. LEX’S PORTRAYAL AND HOW WE’RE MEANT TO FEEL ABOUT LEX IS NOT SUBTLE AND I ADORE(D) THIS FIC FOR IT, but this was still different – a different angle as it is beginning to tackle the notion of rehabilitation/redemption/leniency head-on. The former was all fun and games but the moment the latter got raised I was immediately in a battle stance).

[Me, pulling up my sleeves: “oh so this is how you wanna play this huh. Bringing in the Big Guns with Phoenix being on his side- you talk a big game but see, not sure if you’re gonna be able to back this up buddy. Biting off more than we can chew, it looks to me.”]

Okay and the other reaction I had to this casual mention of “oh btw Phoenix is gonna be defending Lex”? IT WAS REALLY FUNNY BECAUSE IT WAS THIS SUDDEN JARRING MOMENT WHERE IT WAS LIKE OH, THIS IS ACE ATTORNEY FANFICTION. Okay I want to make this clear – I never at any point “forgot” this was Ace Attorney fanfic, of course. But like. This whole 4th fic so far has been focusing on Lex – now so far removed from the counterpart we see in canon, and Benny, an OC altogether, has also been so prominent and under focus. You of course, still have characters like Bobby and Simon but, see, at this point, this is the fourth instalment of the series, and we’ve been with these characters for so long now. We’ve been spending so much time with them that – these characters – the canon characters that were getting all the focus at this point were just about all VERY removed from the centre of the ace attorney series. It feels so very, very tucked away in this – such a niche little corner of the ace attorney universe with some very specific characters interacting and driving the plot forward, and having spent so much time with them independent of the rest of the ace attorney cast it’s really felt like they’ve well and truly taken on a life of their own that’s attached to this series specifically. Reading so much about “OC”s like Benny and Lex (because in AA canon there is no “Lex”!) and everything and then all of a sudden casually throwing the central character of all of the mainline ace attorney games casually back into the plot like this felt jarring in the best possible way. It was just like “oh, RIGHT. Phoenix. He actually EXISTS in this world. He’s still around, I mean, obviously. This is Ace Attorney Land. Oh my god. In spite of everything – in how much EVERYTHING has evolved and separated itself from and focused on this one tiny little realm of ace attorney characters and canon… he’s still around and can actually get involved in the plot like this. That’s so wild.” LIKE. I MEAN. It well and truly felt like Phoenix Wright was from A Different Universe, so independent and separate from a world where Lex, Benny, Alive & Post-Randy Bobby, and even Blackquill (after how much this fic has focused on him and a specific interpretation of his character) exist. Honestly to even think that Phoenix Wright and Alexander Luster Jr actually exist in the same canon fic verse… whoa.

“The fate of execution does not necessarily mean perfection. If leniency is deserved, leniency is what the prosecution is meant to support,” Simon found himself arguing despite his better judgment.

Me: “SIMONNNNN NOT YOU TOOOOO”

Me at this, on top of the whole Phoenix Wright Defending thing: [resigned, frustrated sigh] “You’re not gonna kill him, are you, Author? You’re not gonna go through with it and kill him off, are you?? I told you like two fics ago to KILL HIM.”

I was a) a phantom fangirl & had been for years (of course) b) “Lex is great how can you not love Lex?” c) Uh… still actively advocating for his execution d) NOT pleased that it looked like said execution was not gonna be followed through on by the narrative.

Okay, but this line from Simon was also frustrating for another reason: it engages with real-life morality, just as Benny’s assessment that Lex being “taken out back and shot” is not something that he feels is “the right thing to do” does.

I was sitting in an ever-so-simplistic corner and not critically engaging with how the ace attorney universe’s punishment system actually functions. The death sentence, as we all know, is so very prominent in this universe. If you kill someone, you die, them’s the breaks it seems. That’s the universe’s rule so that’s the rule we go with, right? Only taking this universe’s criminal justice & punishment system & morality into account, it was So Very Easy for me to sit there and fiercely be all, “the Phantom killed people, and even if he can feel things now, that won’t bring those people back, therefore he gets executed because THAT is justice according to the laws of this universe and justice won’t be served until that’s carried out.” This simplistic stance bypasses entirely any questioning or attempt to consider the actual “justice” of such a system, and flatly refuses to even question the ethics of capital punishment – a topic that can be so very controversial IRL.

It was frustrating to me personally because the narrative seemed to be bringing real life morality into this. In real life, so very many places have abolished capital punishment altogether. It’s a lot harder to flatly argue that Lex should be executed when considering that, realistically speaking, rehabilitation is the far more desirable option and if at all possible should probably be strived for in real world scenarios.

I was arguing for execution on the basis of Ace Attorney Morality and the narrative was retaliating with a taste of Real World Morality which gave me pause. I was so steadfast and convinced of my stance that to have it momentarily shaken like this was exasperating, because “no see, I know I’m right, see, I have to be right, because the alternative is just too far out of reach. It’s too absurd, it’s a pipedream… The phantom was just that sucky that even applying IRL morality… I must be right… right? Yeah. Anything else is just unrealistic. It can’t be done.” I shook it off, and ploughed onwards with my stance.

Leniency from the court system didn’t mean there would be leniency from those outside the courts. With so many people out for the Phantom’s head, there was no telling how fast any sentence that wasn’t the death penalty would lead to a furious rebellion. There was no telling how fast someone might attempt to hunt down Alexander and finish the job that the executioner was deprived from.

“Whoa, very good point. Okay, so maybe there’s a chance he’ll get executed after all since not getting executed is not necessarily being shown as the “better option” in this regard by the narrative. There’s still hope for an execution yet. A nice, clean execution if the alternative isn’t being portrayed uncritically as the “best” option.”

Simon wondered vaguely if he should apologize for all the times he’d thrown a blade at the defense or sent Taka their way. Ultimately, he decided against it.

Sdkjdskj

The scene with Bobby and Palaeno just before the trial begins… How worried Bobby is and how much he truly cares for Lex… It’s just not a joke anymore. It hasn’t been a joke for quite some time. It’s being played completely straight. There’s just nothing to even really laugh at or be amused by here?

Back in Haunted Specters a lot of Bobby’s behaviour towards/concerns for the phantom can largely be written off as Rule of Funny and also accepted BECAUSE of its intentionally surrealist nature & impression it leaves the audience. I readily accepted it because it slots into the character dynamic(s) role and set-up crafted by the story so perfectly, and it’s so much fun.

I, of course, could see the direction Simon and Bobby’s behaviour was heading towards… Yes, they were getting too attached for their own good, to the point where things would become painful. I knew it was coming and I accepted that and, in fact, I was READY for it.

But Lex.

What I did not foresee was the huge, HUGE transformation that took place. Lex changes everything. It changes the dynamic that is subsequently involved. It negates anything about Bobby’s behaviour being “kinda funny in a misguided way”. The existence of Lex changes it dramatically from “haha funny & surreal behaviour from Bobby” to just plain “Bobby is very invested in this man and very worried for him” and there’s nothing funny about it. We just feel plain bad for Bobby and that’s it. I’ve focused on Bobby pretty exclusively here because he’s the one whose narrative thread we’ve been following the most in this particular regard, but. There are many characters (like Palaeno) who care about Lex, and it’s played straight.

It is a scenario that can very much be pulled off and played straight with the emotionless phantom, but Lex’s whole existence throws an unexpected curveball in HOW the situation is played straight and the subsequent impact had on the audience.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 14

“Quite a long list of murders, several attempted murders, grand theft identity and all the crimes that accompany such a thing, terrorism, vandalism, assault, perjury in a court of law, selling government secrets… To name only a few.”

“And the defense’s assertion?”

“The defense’s assertion is that every single one of those crimes was committed by the Phantom- WAAGH!” Phoenix broke off into a terrified holler when Von Karma snapped her whip at him.

SDJBDKJSDJK perfect.

Volent smiled, his kindly demeanor at odds with his rather arrogant response. “Instability, Your Honor. The concept is exactly what it implies- the defendant’s emotional state is not stable. To put it in layman’s terms, he suffers from severe mood swings. I couldn’t uncover enough symptoms that would allow a full diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, yet I would daresay that further therapy might’ve confirmed such a thing. … It wasn’t my job to diagnose any sort of disorders either way.”

Whoa WHOAAA SPECULATION OF A REAL-LIFE DIAGNOSIS…!

This was SO good to see. I really REALLY liked – no, LOVED this a lot. It was just like, of course, of COURSE…! It’s not just cartoonish “hehe look at how emotional he is!” THERE PROBABLY WOULD BE AT LEAST SOME LEVEL OF CONNECTION THAT COULD BE TRACED TO REAL-LIFE DISORDERS…! I don’t know how to express how cool I found this kind of connecting-it-to-real-life to be and introducing mention of a REAL-LIFE disorder.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 15

Benny taking his testimony and turning everything around on its head was SO awesome. So very awesome. Only reason I’m not elaborating is that I have so very much to cover in this post…!

Simon’s. Testimony. My god, Simon’s testimony. I KNEW it was coming but ohhhhhh wow…! I’m still in awe, dude.

“Did you hear, mommy? It must be true love!”

OKAY YEAH OKAY THANKS FOR HAVING WACKED ME IN THE FACE WITH THIS LITTLE REMINDER WHEN I WAS STILL LICKING MY PHANTOMQUILL WOUNDS DFKJSDKLSDNS

BUT ALSO I REALLY LOVED THIS LINE LOL CAUSE LIKE? There’s a kid out there in this fic’s universe who canonically ships phantomquill. But it’s more than that it’s like!!! Phantomquill as a ship is definitely grouped in some of the LEAST kid-friendly ships I know. When I think about phantomquill the LAST thing I think about is a kid being aware of it let alone shipping it – it’s such an interesting juxtaposition to have (presumably) a child, given the information they’ve been presented with, immediately go “Oh True Love!” about what is, in standard practice, an unbelievably dark, twisted and angsty ship.

But in any case, it was around this point that I just kind of started thinking to myself “Oh my god… Oh my god… The author is actually gunning for this, she’s ACTUALLY gunning for a full second chance for him, THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN. BUT WHAT’S EVEN CRAZIER IS THAT SHE ACTUALLY APPEARS TO BE PULLING IT OFF.”

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 16

Crack! Franziska cut him off with a quick snap of the whip. “You must pay due respect to Cohdopian court regulations, Your Honor! This trial has an international nature, thus we can apply international rules. The defendant has recently regained his Cohdopian nationality and this method of questioning is a common occurrence in his home country’s court of law.”

This is ABSOLUTELY allowed, I’m not even gonna attempt to dispute it. Rule Of Drama is in full effect here and I LOVE it, it has my full support.

“Now then, witness. My first question,” Franziska leaned forward, resting one arm on her bench. She was watching Athena with a smug grin on her face. “Do you think the image of your mother’s corpse will ever be erased from your mind?”

OHHH MY GOD. I am… here for the brutality of this direct approach. It’s… necessary.

Lex had turned a few shades paler in a matter of ten seconds.

GET READY LEX. GET READY LEX. Strap in buddy. You WILL sit there and you WILL suffer. You are fantastic and amazing and my favourite character but :^) you’re on your own here.

Franziska shook her head in exasperation. “Tsk tsk. Very well then… Witness, is it true that the defendant took you hostage after he escaped from the federal prison in February?”

As we know, Chasing Phantoms felt like a separate entity from the rest of this series to me, and I had been somewhat less engaged while reading it. This just made me go “oh my god… she’s right… that happened in this series too…!” YOU WERE NOT ONLY TRYING TO ULTIMATELY GIVE THIS MAN A SECOND CHANCE IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING HE’D DONE IN CANON, BUT HE HAS ACTIVELY DONE EVEN FURTHER TERRIBLE THINGS IN THE CANON OF YOUR STORY ON TOP OF ALL THAT. And you WEREN’T even shying away from acknowledging it either. You were shining a spotlight DIRECTLY on this fact as you ploughed forward against the incredible odds. AMAZING. You ALREADY had your work cut out for you and you had gone ahead and actually ADDED to that workload, you absolute madman, this was wild.

But not only this, you were, here, in this scene, drawing a direct link between Chasing Phantoms and Lifting Spirits, with their two such vastly different narrative landscapes. You are reaching out and reminding the audience - having the audience acknowledge the part of the story when the phantom was at his worst while showing us him, a changed person, at his best.

You’re not even trying to hide or gloss over a damn thing.

I don’t even know what to say about Phoenix’s cross-examination of Athena it’s just so good. So vivid. Like, I can picture it in my mind.

It was Lex who spoke up. It was Lex who pushed himself to his feet, his manacles producing a soft clanking sound as he did so.

Oh my gosh… Here it is…

This whole scene where he says thank you. It’s soooooo sappy but I don’t care, I don’t caaaaaaaare I LOVE IT IT’S PERFECT and I will eat it up I WILL eat this sentimentality up forevermore. I’d actually misremembered this scene as being complete with gratuitous tears and big, glistening eyes listen it’s over-the-top and I LOVE it being over-the-top. IF YOU’RE GONNA GO ALL OUT WHY NOT GO ALL OUT? And it DOES do just that SPECTATOR’S COOING I. I LOVE this goddamn series oh my GOSH.

I was so very stubbornly trying to work against my favourite character, but you brought your A-Game. You put in overtime for this character. it felt like WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO RIGHT AHEAD AND DRAW A FLIPPIN’ HALO ABOVE HIS HEAD?! DSJNKSDKJNSDNKJ. So much of Lifting Spirits was me BEGGING you to stop encouraging me to such a ridiculous extent, to no avail.

And noooow it’s AURA TIME.

Enter: Aura Blackquill.

A smile flickered across Aura’s face, but it disappeared again the moment her eyes fell on Alexander. Even from such a great distance, Simon could see it: the raw hatred that was shimmering through. It was no wonder, really, that Alexander cowered in his seat. Most people would think to duck for cover if they were on the receiving end of such a terrifying glare.

OHHHH MY GOD… AHAHAHA… YES.

“I have quite a few things to say to that miserable excuse of a defendant,” Aura began, her tone of voice as venomous as the look on her face. “but such words aren’t befitting of a lady and it appears some clods thought to bring children to this courtroom, so I’ll keep that particular feat of vocabulary to myself.”

Alexander cowered even further. Surely, he understood just how much Aura hated him. Just how far she’d be willing to go to see him hanged. Having her here in the courtroom must’ve been agony on both ends, for Alexander feared for his life and Aura ached to end it.

OMG. GET HIM. MAKE. HIM. SQUIRM.

“What I will say is this. If this monster hopes to be human, he needs to understand that real humans don’t get second chances at life. Especially not those who rob others of their only chance. We live as flawed beings and we die as flawed beings- the size of the handicap makes little difference. Why should he deserve to go on while others don’t? The rules of life and death apply to everyone, no exceptions.”

What a horrific speech. Leave it to Aura to spew something like that.

“I MEAN… SHE… HAS A POINT… SHE RAISES A VERY GOOD POINT…”

The worst part was that from the corner of his eye, Simon could see Apollo Justice nodding.

HHHHHHHHHHHH

Aura slammed one of her hands down on the witness stand, her shackles clattering loudly as she did so. She was addressing Alexander directly, now. “I am not speaking only for myself, I’m speaking for everyone who’s lost someone dear because of you. I’m speaking for everyone who’s suffering because of you. Believe me, we are great in number. We will not forgive and we will not forget. You can’t run from us.”

Ohhhhhh GOOOOOOOSH I WAS 100% CHEERING HER ON DURING FIRST READTHROUGH OF THIS SCENE BUT I AM TERRIFIED OF WHAT TRACKING GHOSTS COULD ENTAIL PLEASE SEND HELP

Alexander shivered and hid his face behind his hands.

PLEASE I JUST. PLEASE. NO MORE. Look at him.

“Hm. No, I believe I’ve made up my mind. Taking all the testimony into account, it’s clear to me what needs to be done.”

The judge raised his gavel. This was it. The moment they’d been working toward. The moment they’d been working for. Alexander’s life hinged on these next words. Nobody dared to speak. Nobody dared to move. Bobby’s hand once again found Simon’s own. He squeezed it in return and glanced sideways to see that Ambassador Palaeno was crossing his fingers.

Me: [Shakes head ruefully] “Well, okay, very well. You did it, author. You earned this, well and truly. Go ahead. You can have this. You actually did it, I suppose. I can’t believe you did it, but you actually earned him his right to a happy ending. So… I won’t object. It’s all yours for the taking.”

I mean, the fact that the trial was ending just after AURA’S testimony was a little foreboding, but… It just wasn’t enough to balance out the rest of the trial and the tone of the entire fic. The verdict felt so clear, I mean, c’mon. C’mon. And the narrative slant, too. The narrative and the POV characters that we are following are so very biased in his favour. This IS what the entire fic had been building towards, and the entire fic had been so terribly biased towards him and the notion of salvation.

So I’m like [rolls eyes], “alriiiight, go ahead, if you must. Give the man his verdict of lenience like ya set out to do. I’m not complaining like I thought I would be. You win again. You set out to do this and I don’t know how, but it looks like you actually got there in the end. If you insist, then he doesn’t have to die after all. I accept that.”

”It pains me to conclude that rehabilitation and civil commitment are impossible in his case. That is why this court finds the defendant guilty and hereby sentences him to immediate execution.”

…Come again?

Um.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 17

They'd known from the start that there could be only one ending to the Phantom’s tale. They'd known, yet they struggle to accept the bitter disappointment that comes with it.

Execution… Immediate execution. How soon was immediate? Quite soon, apparently, as Lang gestured towards the Interpol escort.

WHAT THE F U D G E

They saluted and made to surround Alexander. To grab him and drag him from the courtroom. The spy jumped up from his chair and backed away in painfully apparent fright, but there was nowhere for him to run. The agents snatched him by the arms just like that. The spectators became even more agitated.

“IMMEDIATE” EXECUTION?! THAT’S… THAT’S NOT HOW THIS WORKS THOUGH. That’s SO fishy. You can’t – you literally can’t just take someone out back and promptly shoot them IMMEDIATELY after a sentence is handed down… can you? THAT’S NOT HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO WORK. THERE’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, PROTOCOLS AND PAPERWORK TO BE FILLED OUT AND SCHEDULING TO BE DONE… DON’T tell me they’re just gonna – WAIT. JUST WAIT. HOLD ON NO YOU CAN’T JUST – NO.

At the very least, “immediate” execution seemed like it would be carried out a few days after the sentencing, not… like… ACTUALLY immediately. BUT THE STORY SEEMED TO BE PLAYING IT LIKE THIS.

Just because it felt unrealistic, unrealistic to the point it was fishy, didn’t mean the story couldn’t be about to implement just that, though.

Yet, even through the chaos, Phoenix Wright’s shouts were heard.

“OBJECTION! Your Honor! The defense…-! The defense would like to cross-examine the last witness after all! Your Honor!”

But the judge was already getting to his feet. He was preparing to leave the trial behind. That was only natural. The verdict had been delivered and once that was done, no one could change it.

This is the bad end. This is the game over. God DAMMIT Phoenix you should have LEARNED by now that if given the option to further question the witness or not, you ALWAYS take it lest you choose not to and get an immediate game over. Okay. You need to listen to me. You DID save right before Aura gave testimony, right? So you need to press the start button and reload at an earlier save point and then when given the option to PRESS you- sdkjdflndslksdkj

“Lex!” Athena rushed out from behind the defense’s bench to block the group of Interpol agents. To stop them from dragging a struggling spy out the back door, towards the prosecutors lobby.

YES ATHENA SAVE HIM. SAVE HIM.

It didn’t do much good; there were five of them and only one of her. She was shoved aside as if she wasn’t even truly there.

AAAAAAAAAH

Alexander… He was attempting to fight back like a madman now. Perhaps he was a madman. He was digging his heels into the ground, moving every which way to try and slip through a crack in Interpol’s escort, yet their hold on him was too great. He was screaming, he was shrieking. […]

He would be taken away to be killed. A fate he’d accepted for himself a few months ago, yet things had changed. His desire to live had grown too great.

NO NO NO NOOOOOO. NO!

Phoenix Wright stood motionless by his bench, head buried in his hands.

The miracle never happen.

“I can’t. I have to… I have to see Lex,” Bobby insisted once more.

“No. Last will and testament need to be compiled and you would only get in the way. We’re taking the Phantom to be executed the moment all the final arrangements are done.”

THAT’S SO MESSED UP. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! THAT IS SO MESSED UP. “LEX. IS LEX IN THERE? IN THE ROOM? WHY CAN’T WE HEAR HIM HE WAS YELLING SO MUCH BEFORE WHAT’S GOING ON.”

“This is the only ending this story could possibly have and you knew that from the start.”

Oh how daaaaare you turn this line back around on me like this, against me. The first time I ever heard the equivalent of this line in the series, I knew it was planted with the intent to come back to bite the audience. I was all “hah, you don’t scare me. Joke’s on you because that ending to this story is EXACTLY what I want, so TRY me.”

Seeing it again NOW was terrifying. It was a threat. I did not truly believe that the story would end like this. But this line… embedded into the narrative as it had been, was effective at convincing me it was plausible… it was POSSIBLE. Recurrent lines like this would destroy me on a regular day when I know that they’re coming. I had done NO preparation to handle this line doing exactly what I figured it intended to do when it inevitably came back around because back then, when it was planted, it is exactly what I had wanted, and therefore felt like I didn’t need to. And in the interim, the narrative had gone soft, so very soft, so very, very soft on him, and appeared to no longer have what it takes to go ahead and kill him off, the arc words laying forgotten. Until now, being wielded with full force. Didn’t like the sound of this at all.

Now I would like to break down different aspects of the scene(s) that unfold in the aftermath of the verdict, because there are so many angles at play here:

1. The verdict is still unbearably painful even when clinging to the thought/hope and possibility that he isn't dead/manages to survive/will not die

Because we've spent the entire fic being shown just how much Lex is brimming with emotion and personality and potential from head to toe, only to be told at the end that all of it was worthless, that all of it IS worthless: that he is unworthy of salvation, that all of the striving was for absolutely nothing and MEANS nothing. That, even if the plot allows him to go on living, even if the characters and the narrative (and the audience!) clearly believe he is worthy of a second chance, the law and the legal system doesn't. That in the eyes of the law, his life and newfound being is not worth preserving.

A solid three fics spent on development - and the verdict declares in one fell swoop at the end of it all that he should die, the verdict declares he shouldn't even get to live and should in fact be killed as soon as possible.

The law does not know and does not care about the things we and the characters have seen, the things that the characters have been through together, or the extent of his suffering and STRIVING all the way up until this point. The law doesn't care.

The narrative seemingly turns on its audience in an instant with a snarl. "Well, what did you expect? You're an idiot for expecting anything more than this. Haven't you forgotten who that man is and what he's done? Don't tell me you were actually stupid enough to have hope. You're naive. Just as naive as the characters are. Even when you could see for yourself they were getting too attached for their own good, what did you do? Did you actually follow in their footsteps? You should have known better. You should have had more foresight than that. In fact, you DID have the benefit of foresight and you WASTED it! You have even less excuse than the characters!"

At least, that's the stunt it TRIES to pull, and momentarily, for a horrible, horrible point in time it almost works. But then I'm yelling my defiance too. It's like, "no, actually, story, stuff you, I wasn't stupid at all for having hope, because the narrative itself was the one to give me that hope and that belief in Alexander Luster Jr in the first place. It's wanted us to believe in him from the very beginning, so it's no wonder. This story has been ridiculously biased TOWARDS him, and I know that for a fact because I've been fighting against his having a second chance the entire time and received nothing but opposition in terms of the narrative's directional slant."

So it's like, okay, it wasn't stupid at all in terms of narrative portrayal. The audience can't blamed; it's no wonder they believed. But were they objectively right in doing so or was their belief misplaced after all?

There's this dizzying moment of "WAS the verdict right in its decision? Is what the judge says really true? Is there genuinely no hope for rehabilitation in his case? Is there something that the Judge can see that we can’t?"

The thought of it is so painful. Are the characters supporting him and the audience just idiots, but the court - the judge can objectively see the "full unbiased picture" that we aren't getting, in order to have reached this conclusion? Is he really not worth a second chance? But how? How?! How can that be!

And then the thought passes, it's shot down. No, no. Rehabilitation - a second chance - is obviously possible. How can it not be possible? How can you tell me I'm wrong?! It has to be, look at him. if you've been paying attention to Lifting Spirits for five minutes-

2. The verdict was not the right decision to make and does not bring about any kind of justice.

The verdict is wrong. That's the conclusion we arrive at. There is nothing just about this situation. There is no victory here.

“No! This can’t…! This can’t be right!”

This is wrong. This is not justice. The narrative doesn't even attempt to say otherwise: that's how it's being portrayed. The narrative AGREES that this is wrong.

“Let go of me! This isn’t right!” she hollered, hoping to free herself from Lang’s grip. “You can’t execute him! He’s not a killer anymore! Let go of me!”

Up until the very end... Even as the verdict was being read and I was convinced it would side with lenience, I wasn't entirely sure of what the right choice was, even though I had finally decided to accept such a verdict of lenience.

In the aftermath of the verdict's announcement, I still wasn't sure what the "right" course of action was, how best to handle his case, or what "should" be done.

But it didn't even matter any more. I didn't - I didn't care. I no longer cared about that. It didn't matter what the “best” decision was anymore, I wanted him to- where, where is his lenience?! Give - GIVE it to him!

I was desperate for him to have this regardless, to have this second chance, it was painful and this didn't feel right.

In a sense, when it came to the question of what "should" be done, or what side I was ultimately on come the end, that alone - my feelings and response to this situation - clearly gave me my answer.

And if he didn't die, if he managed to escape death somehow, that wouldn't truly be good enough in alleviating all the pain of this. No, that's painful and would imply still that he's not good enough. But that is antithetical to what we have been shown, and the idea hurts. He needed to be fully, properly have his second chance recognised in the eyes of the law. It got snatched away when it was so close and I couldn't - it needed to happen.

It’s torturous.

3. The main characters that we have been following are actively invested in his survival and his second chance. They WANT him to live and they do not WANT him to die.

Wasn't this what I wanted?

But the thought of his impending death was hurting our main characters so much more than the alternative. They weren't asking him to die. They weren't expecting him to die. It's a very different situation.

For Alexander Luster Jr, the chance of redemption hinges not upon accepting death, but in being granted life.

This idea of him needing to die... One of the key ideas it comes from is that to give him a second chance is disrespectful to all the people that he murdered and all the people that he's hurt, emotionally and physically.

But characters such as Athena, Bobby and Simon are members of that group of people hurt by the phantom, and they are the ones advocating for him, they are the ones who are desperate for this chance and his survival - for him to have a chance.

There is, of course, a very impressive list of other people hurt by the phantom for whom his death is deemed important and necessary. But we have not followed their POVs. As it stands, when we think of who the phantom has inflicted harm on, many of the first characters that may come to the reader's mind are those who /want/ him to live. So what meaning does "disrespectful to those who have suffered because of him" continue to hold when they are our main point of reference?

It does still hold meaning. But it's far more difficult to uniformly advocate for the man now known as Lex to die when this is how at least some of the phantom’s victims feel.

4. The bar for his salvation is set very low, and the severe injustice invoked by that bar seemingly not being met by the court's standards is portrayed very strongly.

The bar is so low. A) There is no need to forgive the phantom of all his many crimes, but merely to acknowledge Lex as his own person b) lenience. Just. Lenience. Not “all charges are dropped you are free to do as you wish”, lenience.

And in contrast, everything about the fake-out screams injustice, almost outlandishly so. The speed at which everything happens – he’s hastily carried away. Bobby and Simon not getting to say goodbye. The characters, the spectators who were on his side screaming their defiance. Everything is taken to its extreme in a mad rush.

And then, of course, there's Aura.

5. The narrative makes no pretence at ignoring the harsh reality of what the phantom was like and what he has done. There is unabashed acknowledgement.

I'm glad Franziska asked Athena if the image of her mother's corpse would ever fade. At that point I was a little like "whoa, okay, at least we are acknowledging this. We are ACTUALLY tackling this angle, I’m impressed.”

And then Aura just came in and blew me away. Aura came along and put my very own thoughts into words, she said EXACTLY what I was thinking, right at the last minute. Words I thought would be left unsaid, and would therefore leave me feeling somewhat frustrated and unsatisfied. But she voiced them and forced the story to confront the fundamental unfairness of the killer getting a second chance when he took away his victim’s only chance.

6. The narrative fully acknowledges that there is no way to make everyone happy and satisfied regardless of whatever outcome is chosen.

“In light of all the information and all the opinions shared with this court, I believe there is no way to please everyone.”

Through both the wording of the judge's verdict and the extremely divided and opinionated spectators, it's abundantly clear. This was a great signifier for me because to give him a happy ending, favourite character or not... It can be very hard to be fully satisfied when the consequences of his past actions are ongoing (e.g. people who are still feeling the losses of loved ones that can never be replaced) or if it feels like certain perspectives are being conveniently ignored/overlooked so as to justify a happy ending.

I fought against Lex's salvation partly because I was convinced that there was no way I could be completely satisfied with it, and that it would therefore feel somewhat hollow or sour if thought about in too much depth.

But the narrative just went right ahead and said "you might not be 100% satisfied, and that's fine; not everyone is going to be 100% satisfied in-universe anyway. Such a thing is impossible. If you're expecting all of the characters to be satisfied before YOU accept the ending, then I am telling you right now that you're asking for something that's never going to happen, because it's just not realistic."

The narrative also played a sneaky little game of "okay, if you're not happy with this, then here's a glimpse of the alternative. Now tell me, which ending do you prefer?"

I’d already conceded and accepted the presumed outcome towards the end, but the story wasn’t satisfied with my mere acceptance. Ohh no, it was like, “not good enough, you’re going to REALLY want this. You have to REALLY want this.” And BOY, AFTER THIS CRUEL FAKE-OUT DID I EVER.

The ending made itself all the better because it forced me to really work for it. Noooo way in hell was it gonna feel even remotely hollow, no way in hell EVER, I am no way no way gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.

The acknowledgement of ANY ending’s inability to satisfy absolutely EVERY angle of every perspective in and of itself made me rush over to embrace the ending in all its splendid glory.

“That’s ridiculous! We’re just as much Lex’s family as Palaeno is!” Bobby blurted out.

There it is. There it is. The conclusion… The inevitable conclusion of what this entire series has been building towards since around Haunted Specters.

There’s only so far you can take a joke before you have no choice but to play it straight.

1. Set up and frame a seemingly absurd/surreal/odd scenario and seemingly play it for laughs

2. Keep playing it for laughs

3. Keeeep going. Keep running with it

And through both escalation and narrative reiteration and reinforcement…

4. It’s not a joke anymore and the audience is invested, Actually. No matter how odd the set-up seemed originally.

I loved that Lang immediately responds with anger to Bobby’s proclamation. I loved that. It makes sense that he would. In fact, it is a completely reasonable response. And we have spent so long building towards this. Lang’s irritation and misgivings about Bobby’s level of investment have been clear as day for a long time – he’s made no secret of it - and they have been building, and right here, Bobby confirms to him beyond all shadow of a doubt that he is too far gone, he is too far gone. He crosses a line. He crosses a line and it is too much for Lang. Two powerful opposing perspectives come to a head in this single moment as they both explode forth at once.

You played Bobby’s investment completely straight… and then you turned it back around on its head again as it is confronted like this by Lang. It is not enough to merely play it straight, but here, the narrative goes one step further and asks “if it is played straight, if it is grounded undeniably now in the character and the narrative’s reality, what does that mean? In what way should it be approached?”

Lang was right; this was bordering on Stockholm Syndrome. They shouldn’t care this much about Alexander.

I am. Floundering.

You are MEAN. YOU ARE MEEEEEAN. XD.

Maybe it was a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome.

No, no. This was a horrible kind of stinging slap to deliver.

Lang framing it that way was fine.

But a character like Bobby potentially internalising it was so very harsh a punch.

For other characters to react to and interpret Bobby (and Simon’s) investment in Lex in a realistic way was one matter. For the characters whose POV we’ve been following the whole way to take up the same line of thinking… felt like a horrific intrusion on some kind of sacred space. An unbreachable, unwritten narrative rule supposedly laid out by the series itself felt as if it were being mercilessly snapped clean in two here.

It seems so very cruel, narratively speaking, because it felt to me like the reader was never ASKED to frame the behaviour and dynamics of the characters in a realistic or critical manner. It was. A JOKE. It started as a surreal joke, serving its specific narrative purpose and then moving on its way. To have ever been realistically critical of the characters’ behaviour felt like it would have only hindered what the narrative seemed like it was trying to do at the time. And of course, it became more than a joke but the narrative has been tailored for the audience to be invested in these characters’ connections. To abruptly rescind on this unwritten rule of “this is fiction and therefore we can have some fun with it and set up some interesting character dynamics!” was like stinging betrayal.

Or rather, we ARE perhaps asked or even encouraged to be critical, but perhaps not in the way it is suddenly portrayed here. The reader does in fact pick up on the fact that Bobby and Simon are getting too invested and that this investment is perhaps not in their best wishes. But that investment seems to be portrayed so as to be compelling, something we are drawn to… not… like this. Or maybe that was just how it felt to me.

For a character like Bobby to be thinking about Stockholm Syndrome… It is not a clear-cut case of Bobby being hurt and grieving. He ponders framing his own grief and attachment in a critical manner. That he “shouldn’t” have been invested or cared this much. That felt so negatory of Lex and his whole existence… It felt negatory of the very plot that the readers had become so very invested in.

Cruel, cold realism.

You finally brought this particular narrative thread to a head, made it so very realised, and then immediately you appear to set about deconstructing it. Through Lang’s reaction. Through the internal thoughts that go through Bobby’s and Simon’s minds.

But my instinctive response is, "no, NO. Your attachment means something. It MEANS something! It's NOT just Stockholm Syndrome!"

If it was the emotionless phantom who had died that they were mourning, then sure, to think of their feelings in this manner... I don't think I would object.

But Lex is full of emotions, he cares!!!!

They can't possibly turn their back on the bond they'd ultimately grown with Lex like this. They can't.

And they aren't. They are just suffering a lot right now, trying to make some sense of this situation - anything, anything to try and make it stop hurting, to force it to hurt LESS. The narrative seems to teeter dangerously close to borderline dismissing the bond they'd grown with Lex through gritty, negative framing tied to a sense of realism. But ultimately...

It didn’t matter now.

Does it, would it even matter, how it's framed at this point? It wouldn't make a difference anyway. What's done is done, what happened is what happened.

The hurt inflicted by Bobby's internal thoughts in this moment and my instinctive objection to them is drowned out and washed cleanly away as we return to focus on the hurt caused by the overall situation and its magnitude. "Does it even matter?". It's like, who cares, who cares about analytical dissection right now, this is where we ended up either way.

It’s something Bobby considers but he’s just too tired to ponder it much because what difference did it even make? That same tiredness to fight back against the framing applied to me, as there was so much else to worry about in this moment.

What was perhaps the most cruel aspect of it all was that Alexander- no, the Phantom had attempted to shield them from this sort of devastation.

Oh no nooooooo. This hurt. Just twist the dagger in some more hhhjghj. It was absolutely true. The phantom had foreseen this. When it came to something like that kiss scene – I was busy focusing on so many other aspects of it, and very distracted by so many narrative threads after that and into Lifting Spirits that I totally failed to seriously register that attempt to shield a character like Bobby from this pain. I should have been prepared for that particular narrative angle to circle back around and I absolutely was not, I had not taken it seriously enough and had been far too distracted. I had been very dismissive of the phantom’s actions in that regard and found him so very stupid for it. Like, “yes, Bobby is too attached, this is apparent, but for GOD’S sake…”

Should have probably expected this, but I did not, and therefore it came as a very harsh shock that the phantom had seemingly been Right All Along.

This was so worrisome. Was the story REALLY about to dump a “this is the best outcome in a sense, as Bobby and Simon’s attachment was too unhealthy anyway, so this was the only way. It’s the best thing for the characters who should never have allowed themselves to senselessly get attached” on us?!

I knew there was one more fic to go in this series. I knew that much, and I did my best to cling to that, to cling to how suspicious and fast this all was, that they didn’t even get to say GOODBYE, but some of the narrative framing was so very scary. I did start to feel a tiny bit of panic, struggled to keep it at bay. But I was on the verge of becoming VERY, VERY upset. I could not allow myself to do so until I finished this fic, because if I allowed myself to become upset – to lose hope over this - it would be all over – there’s no telling how much it would’ve crushed me.

I just needed to power on through and keep reading as fast as possible before I had the chance to become upset. Just… keep reading, keeeeep reading, until I could relax once more… There had to be a reveal that he is okay, there had to be, because the alternative was too unbearable to consider.

The mere possibility of this truly being how this fic ends was way too terrifying.

It was like you suddenly out of nowhere grabbed my arm and BRUTALLY twisted it and just went “oh my god, shut up about phantomquill. Shut up about phantomquill. And will you STOP complaining already about every godforsaken little thing? I’ll kill him. I swear to god, I will kill him. I’ll do it. Do not test me. I’ll do it.”

This couldn’t be the end (could it?!) but there was no way in hell I was going to risk growing complacent and trying to call your bluff. I was terrified. I could NOT risk this all being real no matter what, no matter how small the risk might or might not be I was so scared.

“Please… Just… Just… Don’t do this. Please. Just let him still be alive.”

And he was.

“So… will you finally shut up about phantomquill? Will you finally be GRATEFUL once more and ACCEPT what you are given?!”

Oh, yes. Yes, Meowzy, please, just don’t hurt me.

XD

When there is a defining moment in a story that causes me to flatly deem that moment and by extension everything after it technically “non-canon”, it is VERY hard, nigh impossible, to win me back, because it tends not to matter how fantastic anything that comes afterwards is – because the line of continuity to get to that point had been fundamentally broken in my eyes, usually senselessly so. The appreciation of great stuff from afterwards doesn’t feel “complete” because I am no longer capable of considering it the “true timeline”.

By “win me back” I don’t mean “enjoy the fictional work in question”, because I am still completely capable of doing that if there’s still awesome stuff going on. I mean “restore the work’s claim to being the “true timeline” in my eyes.”

A lot of the Lifting Spirits journey is winning me over and winning me back over. I had already largely gone “okay, okay, I guess… all of this stuff is just so awesome that it’s still pretty much the true timeline. It’s just so good.” Unlike in some other instances where I had made the “non-canon” declaration in the past:

-There is absolutely no drop in writing quality whatsoever. The work demands its place in the true timeline with the rest of the series because it fits in seamlessly

-Just about everything going on is so great and awesome that you’d be hard-pressed NOT to want to fully accept and embrace it all

-The occurrence that I had declared the work was “finished” over (Fake Phantomquill kiss) was so very inconsequential and minor in the grand scheme of things. The declaration loses its meaning when it becomes to seem like just a blip in the radar of all the amazing stuff going on

-The actual goings-on of the scene do fit in fine with the rest of the story, and the scene is not TOO central or relevant to what takes place afterwards so as to be a constant reminder or thorn in my side that I had been baited. The story moves on from the scene after it plays out to far more pressing matters.

But still, STILL, I had withheld its right to Full Canonicity in my eyes. I had been “wronged” XD.

But the fake-out… and then the ending… I was nothing but grateful. True timeline. True timeline. This WAS the true timeline; this is the true timeline and I fully acknowledge it 100%. I embrace it. Why would I EVER throw this golden ending away for the sake of some one-sided phantomquill, if I had to make that choice?! Never.

I’ve much more to say and/or elaborate on, and I will do so… in the next post!

Wow. Looks like one more post and I will have finally done it. That’ll truly take us to the end of Lifting Spirits…

[gronjon44]

Welp... here we go...

If you dont want spoilers then I recommend you skip this entire post because I do not respect this film at all to not talk about the shit that happens in this film.

⚠️AFTER THIS LINE ITS ALL SPOILERS⚠️

This films wants to be an emotional gut punch but it is so... I your face about it. Emotional beats are either predictable or just... they don't hit. And the ultimate sacrifice from Bhgs at the end while sad just doesn't hit anything. And the plot of "Oh the main villain manipulates the kid to go against his dad and the villain ultimately joins the rival team" is really predictable. And I know that in the end this is a film targeted to kids and thats fine. But this film felt like it was trying to be too hip and too aware (the entire joke about LeBron acting hip and the 'don't dab' comment is just not funny)

The jokes

The jokes in this film do not land for me, albeit 2 (the joke about Sylvestar grabbing Michael B Jordan instead of the actual Michael Jordan was ok and the fact Wiley Coyote was in Mad Max was really cool) ; most the jokes either fell flat or completely missed the mark (this film tried to be hip and modern with its humor and honestly it was more cringe than anything else.

Also idk if this was intentional or not, but can we stop making jokes about how companies are stealing our info and spying on us? We get it Zuckerberg is trash Facebook and other big companies are taking our personal info but seriously it does get old. Mitchell's vs the Machines was at least clever because it was about a big tech company abusing it's power. Space Jam: A New Legacy is about an A.I trying to make himself feel better cause he doesn't feel appreciated and is projecting his issues on a kid he cyberstalked for a whopping 3 minutes.

The Plot

The films Plot is predictable, short, and a around not engaging. The idea of bringing another pro basketball player to aid the Tunes in another wild game for their survival isn't the problem, it's the rest of the Plot that's the problem.

The first film had a simple enough Plot that worked really well (The Tunes have to win a basketball game against roided up aliens or they'll become Amusement Park attractions, and they need a bow retired player to hp them win) Its short and sweet and it works.

This film felt the need to overcomicate it by forcing a dramatic subplot into the fold which, can work. You can have a dramatic subplot while still being a Zany and fun film. But SJ:NL can't seem to decide which to focus on; it goes from zany and over the top one moment moment then gives you tonal whiplash when it jumps to the dramatic bits in the plot.

I genuinely think that this film would've benefited from focusing on the zaniness over the drama, since frankly that's always been the focus of the Looney Tunes

Loony Tunes: Back in Action and Space Jam 1 are two tonaly similar films but both have better comedy and each have their respective dramatic beats, though their both saved for the climax of the film.

LT:BIA and SJ1 both have they're own dramatic subplots (M.J makes the deal with Smackhammer to raise the stakes of the game and J.D has to save his father from the Chairman and his plans. The difference here is that these films, while adding a level of drama, don't let the drama overshadow what tnis film is actually about (the Looney Tunes)

SJ:NL let's the drama completely overshadow the actual Tunes and isn't really engaging (to me anyway)

Also I'd like to say that, while giving this film a video game feel was an interesting concept it just reminded me more of Pixels or The Emoni Movie (though this wasn't NEARLY as bad as the Emoji movie I'll say that)

That's something else about this film. It feels like one big advertisement for everything WB owns (much like how Emoji Movie was one big Smartphone ad) and while that isn't inherently a bad thing it can be a hinderence to the film as well (I wanted to watch the films that cameod in this film more than the actual film itself)

The Characters

Look this is the Tom and Jerry film again, we don't go to this film for LeBron and his fictional family (if some people do then that's fine) but most of us go to see the film for the Tunes and the cartoon asthetic, and there's plenty of that here. But I'd like to actually care about the human characters in this film frankly.

Let's just get this out of the way, LeBron is not a great actor. He tries his best yes but he is not a great actor in this film; he reminds me more of Vin Deisel when he acts (he has a voice yes but he doesn't act physically. It's like he's trying to have his voice match the film but his body isn't in tune with it.

Now I don't wanna hate on kid actors, they do what they can and they're kids. But listen this kid was not interesting at all, and id have rathered the film not include him (or very least make him more interesting other than the "Gosh Dad stop pushing your ways and beliefs onto me" archetype.

The Tunes are fine I have no beef with how they treated the Tunes (all for ONE detail)

The way thsi film treats the Tunes in this film bothers me on so many levels. "Send him to the Rejects" "Losers" The fact that they treat the Looney Tunes like they're some forgotten property is really unsettling to me. The Tunes have never been forgotten the notion that they ARE forgotten bothers me so much, regardless if it's a plot point for the film. The Looney Tunes are some of the most recognizable faces in ask of media, and I get this is supposed to be a "New School vs Old School" message like with the Father vs Son but my God I do not like how this protrays the Tunes.

Speaking of the rejects, let's talk about AL G Rythm.

My God this is the most uninteresting villain and his whole plan is so easy to spot from the start of the film. "Oh look at me, I have a bruised ego cause I feel unappreciated in my time and im gonna project my issues on this kid I cyberstalked while praying KING JAMES would bless me with his support." Holy shit my guy you have a bigger ego than Tony Stark and its more bruised than Bruce Wayne's back after Bane was finished. He is one of the most bland villains I've seen in awhile, and the Goon Squad is no better. The Goon Squad is nothing but cool designs and a refderence to more popular Basketball players (and yeah they're supposed to be cronies but at least make them cronies with personality; the Nerdlucks were funny, had personality, and were an integral part of the story (also the fact that they ACTUALLY HAD THE NERDLUCKS CAMEO in in film but they were rooting against the Tunes just... Ehhhhhhhhhh) And the Goon Squad was boring and didn't add anything say for AL G. stealing the kids algorithm to make his own team.

Also sidenote, them constantly calling him "King James" got really annoying really fast. Like we get you gave yourself that nickname, you're the current too NBA player rn and all that but you don't have to keep saying it my God.

Now what did I actually like about this film. Well quite a bit actually.

For starters, the animation was top notch and everything looked great. I thought the 2D models were a little odd at first (too shiny compared to the faded sleek of the original) but they grew on me. All the CGI models of the Tunes looked really great, say for Sam who just looked really weird to me (probably cause he loses his hat by the end and a CGI Yosemeti Sam without a hat just looks strange)

The Tunes also felt exactly how they should in a Space Jam film, Bugs especially. Yes Daffy was his usual comedic self and I like how they had him try and be the manager of the team instead of a player, and every other Tune was just as zany as usual; honestly of all the Tunes I'm genuinely impressed with how they treated Bugs (till the end)

Bugs was the most interesting to see in the film, wherein every character left Tune World except Bugs and he kinda became this Castaway parody (with his own makeshift Porky Pig dummy) and he was just really lonely and stayed true to the Looney Way and he just wants his family back. That entire subplot is the most interesting part of this film hands down; the only thing about Bugs's arc I didn't like was the end which was predictable, but i was still more invested in Bugs's arc than anyone else's.

Also when they showed the Tunes on the other WB worlds in the Warnerverse that's not the name ik but it's basically the Warnerverse the only Movie refferences that i thought were clever were Mad Max, Austin Powers, and Themyscira. And as much as it pains me to admit it the Rick and Morty Gag with Taz was probably the funniest of them, and I don't even like Rick and Morty anymore.

The Matrix was just eh, Yosemite Sam just didn't land, Game of Thrones was just not funny and I won't apologize. As far as the cameos/refferences in the end I'll say it again, I wanted to watch the movies and shows that cameod more than the film itself. I'm not gonna try to list them off but some highlights were seeing Gremlins, the Mask, every Tim Burton Batman villain/Adam West Batman, Thundercats, and Scooby Doo. Aside from that this was all just one big add for Warner Bros.

So I'm gonna try end this on a note that I know alot of people are gonna bring up or use to say shouldn't be brought up: Nostalgia.

Listen. This film has the same issue that alot of modern film reboots tend to have, which is the fact that it has to match the same hype as the film that came before it.

Now I'd like to say that this isn't gonna be a Power Point on reboots, God knows this is long enough as is, but the issue with alot of reboots is that they try to remake something that more often than not did the media justice the first time around. Robocop, Nightmare on Elm Street, Ghostbusters 2016, litterally every Disney L.A Remake. This isn't to say these films can't be good, or even surpass their predecessors. But more often than not they tend to miss the mark either just barely or drastically.

And here's the thing, this argument can also apply to sequel films that are following up an iconic film that for fhe most part is still very prominent in modern media.

Space Jam has, for better or for worse, remained one of the most iconic films every made, if not for its premise alone. And when they announced a sequel it was only inevitable that people compare it to the original because, let's face it, we want the new film to live up to the original.

We want this new shiny film to live up to the film we all knew growing up as kids and adults, seeing the Tunes on a basketball court for the first time back in the 90s. And frankly, this film did not do that for me.

This film, to me, wants to be what Space Jam already is. But it felt the need to try and thats the first step it failed; it wanted to be hip and aware and make loads of refferences to the original

This film has a similar issue to Ghostbusters:Answer the Call I think, where in it wants to stand on its own two feet, but jt cant help but constantly remind us of a much superior film. We know they've done this before you don't have to keep saying it "We need help with a basketball game Lola!" Been there! Done that!" "So you want me to help you win a high stakes basketball game? One that could very well decide both our fates? Hmmmmm where have I seen that before?"

This film is like that one kid in class who already proved he was right, and is still trying to prove he was right.

If you think this film is great and you enjoy it just as much as the original that's perfectly fine, I'm not gonna try to overshadow your opinions, I just want to share mine.

In the end, I'm gonna rate this film a solid 4/10 (and most of that 4 is the comedy and the animation and the Tunes themselves.) Can you watch this just for the Tunes? Absolutely. Can you like this film more than me? Also absolutely. Do I think this film would've been worth it if I'd have seen it in theaters? No not at all I'm glad I waited for HBO Max.

[whaaattheflower]

Top 10 Bias Tag

I was tagged by @earthtogot7​, @m0onbean​, and @park9495​ - Thank you so much I love doing tags even though I take about 298347 years to get to them. But also y’all really got me fucked up with this tag holy shit. 

Rules: Write down your top 10 biases and answer the questions below.

Namjoon (BTS)

Jaebum (Got7)

Young K (Day6)

Taeyong (NCT U, NCT 127)

Vernon (Seventeen)

T.O.P. (Big Bang)

Hanbin (iKon)

Kai (EXO)

Chan (Stray Kids)

Jae (Day6) 

Between 1 and 4, who would you rather kiss? Namjoon and Taeyong God I really fucking want to kiss both of them, like yes, Namjoon is technically my ult of ults, but also...Lee Taeyong gave me whiplash thats all I’m sayin.

Between 2 and 7, who would be your best friend? Jaebum and Hanbin Personally I feel like I’d be able to be best friends with both. I see relatable personality traits in both and I think I would get along really well with Jaebum and Hanbin.

Between 5 and 7, who has the best voice? Vernon vs Hanbin Hanbins voice is great too but there’s something about Vernon 🙄

Between 1 and 8, who is the funniest? Namjoon vs Kai  I might be a little biased bc I’ve been watching Andante recently and Kai’s character has been making me emo as hell but also has me cracking up. Namjoon is funny though, I will give him that. 

Between 6 and 9, who would you date? T.O.P. vs Chan  Don’t get me wrong, I love T.O.P. but I love Chan hes so precious and I highkey relate to him in many aspects. I just want to show him that I love and appreciate him for who he is and all that he does, especially after watching Stray Kids.

Between 9 and 10, who would you collab with? Chan and Jae Both are talented as hell and I literally cannot decide. I feel like with both of them there would be different things we could do for the collab so I cant choose.

Between 4 and 8, who is the best dancer? Taeyong vs Kai I instantly thought about That Step™ that Taeyong is front and center for in Cherry Bomb but lets be real, Kai’s dancing is fucking breathtaking.

Between 3 and 5, who would you like to marry? Young K vs Vernon Literally fuck my life. I love both of them but I’m gonna have to go with Young K. Vernon is precious too and I love him with my whole heart but I’m ready to actually give Younghyun my heart within a heartbeat. 

Between 1 and 7, who would you nurse when they’re sick? Namjoon and Hanbin Listen. I know I’ve picked both people a few times in this tag but they’re both hardworking leaders and they’re precious and you can pry my love for them out of my cold dead hands.

Between 2 and 3, who has the best smile? Jaebum vs Young K Jaebum’s smile literally melts my heart and nothing makes me happier than finding a picture of him grinning and happy. Like Young K smiling makes me soft but Jaebum literally makes me want to scream because he’s so precious. Protect both of them at all costs though.

Between 6 and 8, who would you go on vacation with? T.O.P. vs Kai Look yo, T.O.P.? A whole man, beautiful as fuck, an aesthetic and art Hoe™, all of which I love and appreciate about him and I’m down for BUT. Kai and I would have a fucking blast and we can also just teleport anywhere we want to go, yk?

Wow okay this literally took so much longer than I expected and genuinely had me a lil stressed. I had fun doing it though!

I’m tagging: @hoodiejaebum @jj-nyoung @edawniie @confessionsofashyfangirl @eyesoftheshinigami @yoonikawrn @jinjins-freckles @marktuantuantuan @makeu-ssi and @got7-markjinson 👉🏽😎👉🏽 suffer with me friends

[annacaffeina]

Time for a long personal overshare!

I would like to invite you all to listen to me bitch about my last couple weeks. In order to follow along at home you need two pieces of information for context:

1. I’m a tiny bit pregnant

2. My daughter fell a month ago and broke her wrist.

Ok, here we go with my long ranty rant. So tuesday the 21st. Two weeks ago. I go to my in-laws for thanksgiving. All is well, and suddenly I’m real menstrual. Like, a lot of blood. I figure that’s it for the pregnancy. There’s no way I could have this much bleeding and have things be ok. I call my doc. the next day and am told to act as if everything is fine until they can see me on Monday. Which means spending Thanksgiving with my in-laws, and a whole separate thanksgiving with my family sober. Fine. I bitch about it but do it anyway. The only good thing is that on that Friday (the 24th) I remember to transfer paycheck money to the landlord for rent. One thing I’m on top of.

Monday comes around and I get to the ultrasound, the tech is asking me a bunch of questions, I tell her I figure I’m there to verify a miscarriage. She starts the ultrasound and almost immediately announces she sees an embryo of the right size with a steady heartbeat. I use my best eloquence and declare “You’re shitting me!” Turns out I had basically the uterine equivalent of a blood blister. There’s always a new way for pregnancy to be weird. Ok, I’ve got the best kind of emotional whiplash.

The next day (tuesday) we take our 3 year old to get her cast off. This was sold to us as 4 weeks in a cast and then you’re on your way. Cast comes off and I can tell just by looking at it that her wrist is crooked. x-ray confirms it healed at an angle. Apparently this isn’t uncommon in young children’s breaks? I had no idea it was even an option on the table. Doc suggests surgery ASAP. Bad emotional whiplash.

I live between two sorta metropolitan areas with hospitals. One I really like. The one my daughter was born at. One... well... medicaid wouldn’t certify it for a while. The doc can get us in much earlier at the one I don’t like. Fine. She can get the surgery on Thursday. Poor girl was out of her cast for one day.

Kiddo has had a snuffly nose, but her lungs sound fine so she gets her general anesthesia. surgery is ok, recovery is kinda awful. She flails and cries for hours, fighting the effects of the meds. They gave her the max dose of fentanyl for her size and it seemed to just make her angrier. Her surgery was at 7:45a.m. and she finally calmed down and started being more herself at 4pm.

Friday I noticed she had a bit of a cough. Friday my landlord calls and asks where my rent is. WTF?!? Multiple hours and 3 customer service people later and it turns out that somehow the money was sent to his phone number instead of his email. This was apparently an online mistake of MINE even though I have done this the same way for the last few months and changed nothing. I was told I could cancel the transaction and get my money back in a MONTH or wait the 10 business days for him to not get the transaction and have it returned to me. Despite my increasing insistence there was apparently nothing the bank could do about that. So now the one thing I was on top of is late. (p.s. shopping for a new bank/credit union if you want to give me suggestions. Also, seriously, fuck T.D. Bank)

And during that I find a bat in the house. This is a thing because a few months ago I had a run-in with a sick bat that resulted in me getting the rabies vaccine, which is actually a collection of 9 shots spread out over 5 visits. I’m immune, but I hate that it was in the house with my kiddo.

My kid keeps getting sicker. She’s coughing harder and harder. Often directly in my face. and wiping snot on me. Last night she spikes a fever, and gets the shivers. She’s so stuffed up in her nose and chest that she can barely breathe, let alone sleep. It was pretty terrifying.

Today I take her to the doctor and discover she has pneumonia. It may or may not be related to her general anesthesia. I get to start her on meds and hopefully she’ll feel better in a few days, but I HATE seeing her so rundown and sad. She’s so wilted.

Also, I feel like shit. I’m coughing, sneezing, my nose is completely blocked up and I feel like I might have a little fever. I would totally ignore this except for the whole embryo thing. The copays are piling up. Every day is a new adventure. I’m broke and I’m tired, and I’m angry, and I feel like shit, and my baby is sick. So that’s how I’ve been.

[her-world-on-fire]

Secrets {Peter Parker x Reader}

MASTERLIST

Requested Peter Parker x teenage reader finding out she’s pregnant.

Word Count: 2776 

“Hey, sorry I was late. You said you wanted to talk?” Peter asked, jogging behind his girlfriend. He could feel she was tense and she turned around facing him confirming his suspicions. His eyes scanned her. She was scared to say the least, any 17 year old would be, after thinking  about her situation all night. She was exhausted, and he could tell. She froze, she wasn’t going to tell him, not at school. It was too risky and she was afraid someone might hear. She was hoping to talk to him in the morning, privately, preferably not at school. But he didn’t show, he had overslept, and barely made it on time. He didn’t need any more phone calls to aunt May. She was still coping with Peter. But add in not sleeping, she had been dealing with other things. “Yeah, but not here. Can you come to my house? It’s important.” Peter was almost relieved, he had been on the reviving end of getting a “We need to talk.” text, those were nerve racking. News that couldn’t be delivered over text, it wasn’t good. He didn’t think much of it, and assumed it was about his other identity. He still decided he wasn’t out of the woods. But it couldn’t be that bad right? She was wearing his blue sweatshirt, and had a few books under her arms, tucked securely. Peter took her books in one hand, and intertwined her hand in his with his other hand. She gave him a smile and thanked him. The books were absolutely nothing to him, a perk of having Spider-Man as a boyfriend. 

During lunch was when things took a turn. Just her luck, they were making barbeque. It was a once in awhile spur of the moment kind of thing they did during finals to keep students motivated. Her senses were heightened and at the aroma of meat, she gagged. Peter shot her a look and she tensed again, fear in her eyes. “You guys go ahead, we’ll catch up.” Ned and Michelle scrunched their eyebrows in protest, but then saw her face. They didn’t say a word as the pair walked away. Y/N was still recovering, head ducked down as Peter led her away from the cafeteria. He knew a thing or two about having his senses heightened and adjusting to life. Things were too loud, so he had constant headaches in sophomore year. He also knew a thing or two about smell. Unless his girlfriend had been bitten by a radioactive spider and was in his boat, it was rational. Peter was a smart kid, but the pieces weren’t coming together. A million questions swirled in his head and came out in such speed it almost gave her whiplash. “Are you alright? Did you get sick? You’re not hurt right? What’s going on with you-” Now recovered they stood in an empty hallway. She took his hand and led him to a classroom. She just might have to tell him at school to her dismay. “Okay breathe, to answer your questions: yes, no, no, and we’ll get to that.” She watched the concern lessen and he relaxed again. She looked around and then began speaking. “Do you remember last week?” She asked, and Peter racked his brain. He was a busy guy, and he nodded, “Yeah, what day last week?” 

She ran a hand through her hair, she really didn’t want to do this. Not in this way. “Saturday. When you came over, while my parents were gone for the weekend?” She blushed and he nodded, a smile appearing on his lips. To say the least both enjoyed it. Before she could continue, the door opened. Lucky for them, she had thought about which classroom to go into. It was their literature teacher, she raised an eyebrow, “Miss L/N and Mr. Parker.” She said calmly, Y/N started her back up plan. Peter was a little concerned, he didn’t need anymore detentions. But he trusted she knew what she was doing and was ready to follow her lead. “Yes, Ms. Jones. I have a question about the finals.” She said and Peter stayed quiet. She began to ask a series of questions she most likely already knew the answer to. Then apologized for being in her classroom, claiming they were about to leave. Which was convincing, they stood by the door and from her perspective it was believable. They left without getting into any trouble. And they both sighed as the door closed and they walked down the hall. “I don’t want to have this conversation here Peter. I promise I’ll explain everything today.”Thankfully he dropped the subject understanding, she didn’t want to talk about it. They got back to the cafeteria and she was now used to the smell. She didn’t like it and felt a little nauseated. She didn’t want to worry Peter or the group though. She played it off and no one asked any questions about the ordeal. 

Once the school day was over, she got a text from Peter. “Wait for me by the door.” Her heart pounded as reality set in, soon she was going to have to tell Peter the news. She felt awful keeping it in all day not knowing how he would react. But the thought of telling him made her weak, how would he take it? How would her parents take it? Aunt May? Her friends? With only 4 months left in the school year, she wasn’t too worried. She wouldn’t have to hide it long, her and Peter were graduating soon. Just like he said he would, he showed up at the door. They walked to her house, which wasn’t too far. Peter got a ride with Ned, so he just had to call May and tell her. She didn’t think much of it, and told him not to stay too late, it was a school night. The walk was filled with comfortable conversation until they reached her house. They walked to the back porch, and out their backpacks down. She stood as Peter sat on the steps, he invited her to sit but she declined. She needed to walk around for the news. “I know you’ve been waiting all day. Sorry, but this should be kept between us for now.” His nerves returned, and he listened. He could tell she was scared too which made him nervous. “Okay. I don’t think there’s any easy way to tell you this. Bear with me okay?” She paused as her voice trembled. Her eyes stung with tears, and he shot up. He held her in his arms and she looked up at him. “Peter,” She whispered, looking into his eyes. “What is it? You’re worrying me, love.” He asked, stroking the tears away from his arms. “I think, I’m pregnant.” 

She could feel his heart pounding as he pulled her closer. His world was turned upside down, he was scared. But he didn’t want to scare her any more than she was. He wasn’t planning on having kids this soon, but under all his worry he was happy. A life with her, sooner than he anticipated, but he was glad. “Oh Y/N. Don’t worry, we are going to sit right here and work this out okay? I’m not going anywhere.” She relaxed and let out all her emotions. “First let me go down to the store and get you a test.” He knew she didn’t want to go and was probably holding off. Her parents were still gone, so he led her inside. He made her a drink, and then sat her down on the couch. He put on her favorite show and then brought in their things. He kissed her and then went on his way. “I’ll be back.” She worried about if he would really be back. Then she snapped out of it, where else would he go? He couldn’t avoid it, and he was Peter. He wouldn’t leave her. They had been together since Sophomore year, despite being friends longer. When he returned as promised, he assured her no one would know. They needed time to figure it out before telling anyone. Like her parents or Aunt May, they wanted to already have plans on what to do. They spent 5 nerve wracking minutes, 3 for the test and 2 to prepare. “It’s positive.” He said holding the test. She sighed, and they sat down and began planning everything out,

They were both going to need jobs, and their savings accounts were ready if they needed them. If they worked 8 hour shifts, they could make due. Once Tony Stark caught wind of it, which was really soon, he gave Peter a job. He wondered why Peter wanted a job on top of everything, and Peter let it spill. He didn’t know who else to go to. “Hey don’t worry, I’ll give you a job.” He put a hand on Peter's shoulder. It calmed him down, “Just promise me something. Parker promise me you’re going to be a good dad.” He looked up at Tony, and nodded. Things were looking up now, both had jobs. Tony was very lenient and paid him, for his spiderling antics. “Mr. Stark, this means so much to us. Thank you this will really help.” And it did, it was a very good paying job, they were going to make it through. Then the time came, it was time to tell them. They started with Aunt May, and she was not happy at all. “Pregnant? Peter oh god!” Then she dove into a little too late lesson about safe sex. They knew all about it. She was fuming for the first hour, then she calmed down. Telling her just how well they were doing financially, was music to her ears. She thanked her lucky stars, she could barely raise Peter. “There’s going to be another Peter running around.” She laughed and Y/N looked at him, seriously concerned. “Maybe it’s all too much?” He shook his head and whispered, “Just wait.” He held her hand and tried calming her down. She didn’t need anymore stress. Sure enough her face lit up. The baby fever she couldn’t help it, it was a weakness. 

Now, for her parents, they loved Peter for now. He was hoping that wasn’t changing. They entered the house and his heart raced. They took a seat in the kitchen, where her dad was watching TV, and her mother was also sitting. She was most likely doing bills. The pregnancy was advancing, now she had morning sickness, but her bump wasn’t prominent yet. “Hey, can we talk to you guys?” By the tone of her voice, and how she was holding on to Peter. They knew she had something serious. The TV was turned off via her mom’s instructions. Once they gave the news, it was silent for a long time. No one dared speak, in shock her mother gasped. Her father looked at Peter and he stood, leaving without a word. Her mother stood, and went to go get her father. The subject couldn’t be avoided, so he came back. He didn’t look at the two, and Y/N almost broke out crying. She buried her head in his chest, and tried to control her tears. Peter ran his hand through her hair and held onto her, reassuring her he wasn’t leaving. They talked about their plans, and her father spoke, “I want you out of the house as soon as you’re 18.” They knew it wasn’t going to be all rainbows. They weren’t expecting this though. Y/N picked up her things and left. Peter was in shock, but he went after her. She was walking to the streets, crying. Peter immediately grabbed her. He was scared of incoming traffic. “Y/N, we are going to be fine. Alright? We are going to make it.”

And they did, they graduated, and worked their butts off. She didn’t get the new car she wanted. But they had made it. Every morning though, Peter was there to hold her hair back. “I’m sorry.” She said, sometimes she just wanted to cry. All the hormones, it was so much to handle. “No need to apologize love.” He would kiss her forehead once she was cleaned up, and got her to rest. He had stepped up so much in 7 months. Things weren’t the best, she was going to be kicked out, and then it all got to her. She was rushed to the emergency room, where she was told she was in labor. “It’s too much stress on the baby. You’ve gone into premature labor.” Her doctor told her, and she felt guilt build up, she felt like it was her fault. She knew babies were born earlier but she wasn’t ready. They had what they needed, but she mentally wasn’t ready. She hadn’t had the time to read books, or go to classes. What if she wasn’t a good mother? She wasn’t given an epidural, it was too late. Soon she was dilated and contracting. Aunt May was already there, and even Tony was there. Peter found it really comforting and he felt a little less scared. But Y/N’s parents couldn’t be reached, she didn’t even know where they stood. When the baby was born, the doctors didn’t ask Peter to cut the umbilical cord. The baby wasn’t crying, the only noise was hushed whispers by the doctors and a series of questions Y/N asked as she cried. Soon they were given word the baby wasn’t breathing and was rushed to the ICU. 

Y/N was so tired, but she couldn’t go to sleep, not while her baby was breathing. “Get rest, please. We can’t do anything, we have to count on the doctor's. I’ll wake you as soon as I know anything at all.” Peter promised, but the worst hadn’t passed. Machines began beeping, it all happened so fast, he didn’t even know what was going on. Then he saw the blood, there was so much coming from between her legs. He had to leave the room, but he didn’t want to. Tony dragged him out, now his baby and the love of his life, were fighting for their lives. “Oh god. I don’t want to lose them both.” Peter cried, he had lost so many people, he couldn’t bear anymore loss. His legs gave out and he was on the floor. May kneeled down and hugged him, everything went wrong so fast. He picked himself up, he needed to be strong. They’re going to pull through. A nurse came to him, and asked if he wanted to see the baby. Now fine, and breathing normally. It was just a shock, and with help, the baby was okay. One battle was won, he cradled his world in his hands rocking softly, “Hey, it’s daddy.” He spoke gently, now more calmed down, “I love you so much. I know mommy does too. You’ll meet her soon. But let me tell you about her.” And he talked for what seemed like hours. The baby slept in his arms, not even stirring anymore, it had been hours. He had been waiting for the doctors. Sure enough, the doctor came in, he couldn’t read her expression. He put down the baby and they stepped outside. 

“We got the bleeding under control. Right now she needs rest, and absolutely no more stress.” She led him back to her room, she was pale, and her hair was a mess. She was still beautiful and she looked almost peaceful. He was brought cups of coffee to keep him awake. When she woke up, her eyes scanned the room. “The baby is fine. He’s breathing and he’s doing good.” She sighed in relief and Peter leaned over the bed. Tears threatening to spill from his eyes, he must;ve been so scared she couldn’t imagine. “I’m not leaving my boys.” She looked up at him and gave him a kiss. The nurse May had called in came and checked on her. She was fine, and wanted to see him. She was wheeled into the ICU, and got to hold her baby. “We made him.” She laughed, looking between the two. Peter nodded, “What did I tell you? We made it Y/N.”

MASTERLIST

[yoongihime]

His Hoodie, My Hoodie (M)

OC x FratBoy!Jimin Length: 8.6K oh man holy shit  Type: Three Word Drabble… fluffy, with bit of naughty times Recommended OST: (x) and (x)  (a/n): The 2/7 prompts that @an-exotic-writer sent me (lol you did this to yourself) I would like to keep my status as a pure cinnabun okay? This was ummhmM fun to write though ;) I would like to sincerely apologize to all the people I have teased with this ahah forgive me please, please accept my love. 

Summary: “You don’t really know when it happened— considering he melded so seamlessly into your life— you can’t name the exact moment where Park Jimin morphed from a variable to a constant in your dreary reality.” What happens when one of the biggest fuckboys on campus suddenly only has eyes for you?  

Prompt Request by My Missy: Hoodie, T-shirt, Skin Warning: explicit content that leaves me wanting to dig my own grave. Please proceed with caution. Ya know Park Jimin, thigh riding, lots of profanities.

001. Hoodie 

It’s Friday night, about half past midnight; the hour where any reasonable and righteous activities crease to exist. Sighing from your cluttered desk, you manage to run your highlighter stained fingers through your loose bun that was on the verge of falling apart—funny, because so are you. 

“Keep piling things up on your plate like that and you’ll realize you’re spreading yourself thin.” a voice rings from your shared bathroom and your head snaps up to see your roommate Lisa strolling through the door, dressed to the nines. 

Through your study-hazed mind you recall that the “party of the century” that she has been raving about for the past two weeks is tonight—God, you really hope they don’t get reported, the sirens are such a distraction. 

“Aren’t you just about to be late, Your Highness?” you reply with a roll of your eyes. Not that she is wrong about your workload, of course you knew that; you’re just too darn stubborn to let go of your competitive edge. “A queen is never late. Everyone else is simply too early.” “How can you remember Princess Diaries quotes and not even a single word our professor spews out on a daily basis?” “Because darling, I only highlight the important stuff.” she chuckles and flips her blonde locks to the side. You grumble because goddamit she’s pretty enough to be this shameless, but nonetheless urge her to hurry along and to be careful of strangers. She listens to your advice well enough, precariously balancing on one leg to strap on her heels until- “Come with me.” 

   Sputtering out a laugh you look pointedly towards your state of attire, oversized T-shirt you got for free from welcome week, running shorts and the most prominent eye bags you’ve ever adorned, yep, perfect party outfit. 

“This is the most typical scenario ever Lisa, I’m not going to fall for it. I’m stressed enough to drink until I’m shit faced and with my luck I’ll probably throw up on some poor guy’s shoe.” you raise an eyebrow for her to challenge your opinion, but she gives up with a bittersweet smile—aha, you’re right!— and leaves you to your misery or so you think, until the drunk texts arrive. 

[1:38am] Lisa: I’m gOn e [1:38am] Lisa: OmG so Taehyung is here and he’s still so … CuTE. I’m gonna talk to him.  [1:40am] Lisa: He has a date :((( Amused you type in a quick reply, [1:41am] Me: You’re probably hotter than her anyways ;)  [1:41am] Me: Jenny is taking care of your right?  [2:00am] Me: Lisa???? [2:00am]: Lisa if you don’t reply is2g I’ll have to come get your drunk ass. [2:05am]: LISA.  [2:15am]: Seriously ANSWER ME. 

[2:25am]: That’s it I’m on my way.

    Sneakers scratching against the pavement, you huff when you finally arrive at the infamous frat row, grimacing at the loud music that is still thumping throughout the house. Stuffy atmosphere and the sour smell of burning greens welcome you into the crimson stained room from the giant neon light plastered on the far wall. Luckily for you because it’s the end of the night and the magic is wearing off, most people are seemingly mellow or most likely too drunk to think straight. 

   You wiggle your way through the masses without much trouble and before you know it you’re right in the center of a kitchen with too many bottles of alcohol and strange faces filtering in and out every other second.   “(y/n) baby!” Nearly giving yourself whiplash, you turn around to see a very much drunk Lisa and an apologetic looking Taehyung supporting her. He holds her phone in his hand, hurriedly explaining that she was drunk calling too many people so he absolutely had to take it from her before she spontaneously self destructs her own social life. He saw your texts but Lisa couldn’t even remember her own passcode to text you back. Typical. Laughing at her state, you’re tempted to take pictures, but she’ll most likely die from mortification once Taehyung tells her in the morning. Briefly thanking him for taking care of your reckless roommate, you’re trying to pry her off him but her grip only tightens around the flustered boy and you decide that she’ll simply have to live with the consequences in the morning. At least she hasn’t tried to kiss him (so far as you know) or throw up on him—oh god, what if she already did? “Did you decide to finally relax Mr. Grinch?” she slurs and you’re too relieved to scold her, but instead lean in closer to Taehyung to please take care of her when you feel a particularly cold splash against your back and the smell of cheap beer filling your nostrils. “Taehyung you jerk, how dare you leave me for the likes of her.” 

You assume this is the aforementioned date. 

“Tiffany please calm down, Lisa is just really drunk and—“ Taehyung is quick to appease the seething girl, which in turn riles up Lisa and you’re shivering slightly when you feel someone pull you out of the soon-to-be conflict. 

“You don’t wanna be caught between that one.” your savior yells over the thumping bass as you two make your way across the sprawled bodies in the living room, stained red in lust and lights.  

“My roommate might need me.” you murmur as a side note, but your aren’t exactly resisting his lead either, instead observing the sharp angle of his jawline as he probably smiles in response to your unconvinced tone. 

“Oh trust me, Tiffany is a Zeta. They bite…literally.” “And I suppose you don’t, my knight in shining armor?” you laugh at his warning, as a rule of thumb sorority girls are pretty high on your “Do Not Fuck With” list and now you have a concrete reason to back that up.    

“Well, not unless you want me to.” the blonde boy turns around and winks, mischief shining in the crescents of his eyes and suddenly you’re overwhelmed by how gorgeous he is. Your kind stranger is all soft hair and plump lips as he dips in closer, eliminating all pretense of personal space, even though you two are situated in a more quiet corner, a hallway where the noise is low enough to speak at normal volume. 

“I’m Jimin.” he says, his eyes nearly disappearing into the most precious crescents and his hand extends for you to take. “I’m (y/n).” you take his hand and nearly choke when he retracts and begins to strip off his hoodie. “Woah woah woah,” you exclaim, bringing your hands to cover your eyes even though he was wearing a low cut tank top underneath, “no offense Jimin, but we just met. I don’t know how you bros do it but I’m not looking for a hook up.” 

      Jimin freezes up completely, his eyes widening in shock. Your thought are going insane, shouting and screaming at you because you probably missed your one and only chance to get laid—and by an incredibly good looking one at that— when Jimin brings all your inner voices to a halt with a loud chuckle. His laugh tapers off into slight wheezing and he keeps giggling until he’s practically crying and through his laughter filled tears he manages to choke out something along the lines of, “You shirt. Wet. Change.” 

You’re pretty sure you heated from your toes to the tip of your head and evaporated all the alcohol clinging to your skin with just sheer body heat. “O-oh, thank you.” You take his hoodie automatically, disappearing into the bathroom behind you to change quickly into his hoodie, too flustered to notice the faint scent of his cologne to clinging to the soft fabric. 

“I like you (y/n).” “We just met you idiot.” but this time your tone is teasing, knowing that he most likely just finds you to be a rather amusing distraction, which is good because you’re already intrigued by this boy in front of you as well.

    Jimin never lets you live that day down, even when you’ve known him for almost a year now. He has a knack of bringing it up in the most random of times, making you flush until you find a wonderful retort which turns out to be- “Shut up, Min Yoongi’s Rice Cake.” 

    You saw the letters printed on the back of his hoodie the morning after you washed it for him and asked him about it when you returned it. He laughed and blamed his big Min Yoongi for such an audacious nickname, but you can see how much he loves the older boy nonetheless. Now here you are, a year or so into this friendship with Jimin and you realize that he’s so much more than the infamous reputation that his frat embodies. The two of you are settled in a quiet corner in the library, books strewn haphazardly across the wooden surface of your shared desk.

“Hey I didn’t get to choose that. That’s so unfair.” he whines, actually pouting at the pet name his gracious big gave him. 

“Besides (y/n), you wear that hoodie more than me these days.” 

“It’s comfortable.” you reply, avoiding his eyes and sinking deeper into the comfortable material. You’ll never tell him that you purposely come to the library dressed lightly because you know he’ll give you his hoodie. 

There’s nothing special about it, just grey fabric with fleece lining, the bolded letters stretching across the chest and Jimin’s embroidered nickname on the back, but to you it’s purely Jimin. Jimin and his curiously sweet scent of citrus and mint ingrained into the fabric. 

002. T-Shirt 

 You don’t really know when it happened— considering he melded so seamlessly into your life— you can’t name the exact moment where Park Jimin morphed from a variable to a constant in your dreary reality. All you seem to know now is the warmth of his embrace and the heartbreaking beauty of his laughter, the fluttering feeling in your stomach at the mention of his name and the necessity for his proximity. 

When you have bad days he’s there with your favorite donut and a comforting shoulder. When you have good days he’s there to share in your most beautiful moments and more often than not he is the reason for them. Good days and bad days, they all seem to be filled with Jimin Jimin Jimin, so it should not have been incredibly surprising when he migrated from occupying your days to your mind eventually and your heart as well, but you were surprised nonetheless. 

   In all honesty, you want to call chastise yourself for falling for him, but how can you when he makes it so impossibly hard to not? You of all people know too well of the infamous Park Jimin whose sinfully sweet lies can make a girl’s heart flutter like newly hatched butterfly, only to be faced with the consequence of the harsh remnants of winter breeze that is his disinterest. How pitiful, you would think but you won’t fall for it, won’t fall for him, you had convinced yourself. Yet when he gives you that smile, that one with the radiance of about a thousand suns, you can’t help but feel weak at the knees and faint at heart. Well, well look where we are now, you sigh, surely all the cliches are true for a reason. 

 Today is one of those lazy Sundays where there’s nothing due and no deadlines to sweat about, a true rarity in the life of a college student. You’re lazing in Jimin’s room with a book in hand (just because you have nothing due doesn’t mean you can slack), waiting for him to return from his morning workout. The pale blue comforter under you does nothing to help you to relax when all they do is remind you of your not so little secret. You say not so little because practically the entire frat has figured it out except for Jimin—the poor boy is blissfully oblivious— adding to your torture. 

As if the meaningful looks and side comments that are not so discreetly obscured by obnoxious coughs aren’t enough, the boys seem to find joy in the way Jimin is especially touchy in nature, nothing the way your cheeks turn rosy in his presence and in response sending some winks your way. 

 “He’s going to be the death of me.” You groan into Jimin’s pillow, but not before the man himself walks through the door in all his post-workout glory: skin glistening with droplets of sweat, white T-shirt matted to his abs and of course that unbearably gorgeous smile plastered on his face. 

“Who’s going to be the death of you?” He questions as he pushes his hair back on his forehead, the blonde strands cascading softly in waves behind his fingers and your eyes can’t help but follow the movement. His eyes drop down to meet yours with a quirk of his eyebrows and you realize that you haven’t given him an answer in the prolonged silence. 

“Oh umm,” you clear your throat, “M-my physics professor. The man is too smart for his own good and expect all of us to be on the same level.” 

“Hmm, must be rough (y/n).” Jimin hums as he plucks his water bottle from his desk, taking a long pull of it’s contents, the water slightly dripping down the side of his lips, but his tongue snakes out to catch it before the tiny crystalline droplet could fall down to his neck.

It was just as short lived as your sanity.

 At this angle his side profile contrasts sharply with the late morning sunlight and you’re mesmerized by the way his Adam’s apple is bobs as he finishes his bottle of water. This is going to be a long ass day, you think, and it’s only 11:30am; Jimin crushes the bottle and throws it across the room into the little brown paper bag he keeps for recycling, his biceps flexing even with the tiny action. Please get it together (y/n)! You mentally chastise yourself as you train your eyes towards his face. 

“Yeah.. .you have no idea…” you trail off, your eyes nearly popping  when he begins to strip off his damp T-shirt, the material peeling off like a second skin and you’re left gaping like a fish out of water. Funny, some water would be very nice right now. 

“I’m changing, you don’t mind do you?” Jimin asks, his back still turned to you with an easy smile and you make some sort of discernible squeak that is probably something along the lines of  “No problem” and “Of course not” meshed together into one messy blob of a sentence, but Jimin takes that as an affirmative as he turns to you in nothing but his grey joggers, the waistband low on his hips as he rummages around his room. You honestly feel faint.  A knock sounds in the room just as you were thinking of whether you should excuse yourself outside and you wait for Jimin to yell, “Yeah?” towards the source before propping yourself up to open the door. He beats you to it however, since he was standing by his closet next to the door, quickly pulling the handle to address the stranger. 

“Oh! Jimin.” a female voice bursts out with the open door and you immediately straighten from your perch on his bed, curious. It’s some girl, probably from a sorority judging by her jacket, her smile widening when she takes in his half undressed state.  

“How can I help you Sunny?” He asks, leaning against the doorframe, smile still fixed in place. 

“I was just going to thank you..about last night.” She says, her voice practically dripping with hidden intentions and underlying suggestion as her gaze flicks over to meet your startled doe eyes, lips pulling up into a smirk. Suddenly, you feel like an intruder in this exchange and you avert your eyes from her mirth filled orbs, the amusement dancing in them enough for a chill to run down your spine. 

“Hmm, last night?” Jimin asks, snapping you and Sunny out of the mini stare-down. 

“Oh, of course you wouldn’t remember. I’m just here to return your T-shirt.” she says, reaching into her purse to pull out one of Jimin’s many white T-shirts. She smiles wider when their fingers brush as he takes the bunched up fabric, her demeanor cat-like as she brings her hand to rest on his shoulder, 

“Thank you Jimin. See you later.” she lays down her goodbyes with a final flick of her ruby red hair. 

“What’s wrong (y/n)?” 

That question snaps you to of your thoughts and back into reality with Jimin’s face a centimeter from yours and his hands waving frantically in front of your face. He must have asked you something and you were too caught up in your thoughts to respond again. Ugh he’s not going to let this one go, you groan mentally as you-

“Nothing.” You reply as a knee jerk response, the tone of your voice a harsher than you intended. 

“Ah, see something is wrong. C’mon (y/n) I’ve known you for a year now. I can tell when something is wrong. See here,” Jimin pushes his finger gently on the space between your eyebrows, easing the tension there and you realize that you’ve been frowning, “these always mush together when you’re upset.” he says, as if it is the most obvious thing in the world, 

“And here,” he continues, “You also pout a little, it’s only a really tiny bit but I notice it.” he brings his finger to press onto your lips as if hushing you but it that makes you feel the way your lower lips pressed into his finger much more than the upper one. 

You sigh, pulling away from his scrutinizing gaze and his finger, the proximity not helping in clearing your head of the swirling jealousy. “It’s nothing Jimin.” you sign, sinking down on his comforter. There’s a long silence, you peek up from your perch to see that he’s dressed now (thank God), his brows too are knitted, his lips pursed in thought. He’s only like this when he’s debating between saying something he knows is risky or letting it go, you note in horror and before you can change the subject to something else—preferably food— he breaks the silence with- 

“So, are you jealous?” 

You eyes widen, the mortification seeping into your veins along with adrenaline. A long silence ensues and you can only feel the tension press down as if oxygen was running out in the room and you oh so desperately need to breathe so you blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind which ironically is-

“So, do you lend your shirts out to every girl?” you answer his question with another question, the venom in your seemingly light question shocking even you. 

“Ah, so you are.” He murmurs his eyes downcast, his face dropping to look at the floor, obscure from view or you would have seen the way he lips are pulled taunt in a repressed smile and his heart rapidly tiring from their sudden increase in speed. 

“So what if I am?” your voice breaking despite yourself, your eyebrow raising in question. Jimin is baffled by your response, his mask of shock firmly fixed in place and you can’t help but feel hurt at his dismissal of your feelings; tears pricking at your eyes at your own confession. You didn’t mean to say that, you wish you could reel the words back but you already casted them out into the abyss. He doesn’t need to be caught in your messed up emotions. It’s pitiful that you break so easily like this, but now there’s nothing to hold back your thoughts that are colored green with envy.  

“So what if I am jealous that Sunny borrowed your shirt. I have no right to be so. I have no right to be so immersed in this crush for my best friend when he’s the one that knows me the best, yet fails to notice that I’m aching from loving him.” 

That one treacherous tear leads the revolt against its confines and escapes down your cheek and suddenly all your tears are breaking free and falling uncontrollably down your face. 

“(y/n)..” Jimin starts but you didn’t want to hear it so you bolt, abandoning your book in your haste, hopping from his bed and out of his room. Jimin scrambles to catch up with you, but you’re already half way through the house and the resounding bang of the door closing has him freeze mid-track in the kitchen, his labored breathing the only sound in the silence save for the tiny chewing sounds coming from a very confused Jungkook who was watching the entire thing unfold.

“I’m going to fucking kill you, brat.” Jimin grits out between his clenched teeth, his jaw visibly flexing from rage.

Jungkook’s pizza filled mouth pauses in its chewing and his round eyes impossibly increases in size as he runs to the other side of the kitchen counter, putting the island in between him and seething boy.

 “Hyung,” he pleads, thickly swallowing his pizza, “I have no idea what you’re so mad about.” Jimin growls, the younger’s response only making his blood boiling at their maximum temperature, the vein on his forehead nearly popping. He’s ready to pounce when Jin rushes into the kitchen-

“Woah, woah. No fighting in my kitchen. Care to explain yourselves kids?” 

“I have no idea what’s going on either.” Jungkook whines from his position but he doesn’t dare move when Jimin is still glowering at him. 

“God! I never understood why you never let girls borrow just one of your many white T- shirts after you fuck them senseless. Now thanks to your possessive ass (y/n) thought I was with Sunny last night.” Jimin directs his sentence at Jungkook and a knowing expression crosses the boy’s face. 

“So she returned your shirt?” Jungkook squeaks, running quickly to hide behind Jin. 

“Yes she returned my shirt, brat. She also got me in a lot of trouble thank you very much.” Jimin groans, voice dripping with sarcasm, he can’t believe this is happening because of a fucking T-shirt. 

“What did (y/n) say?” Jin says, placing a comforting hand on Jimin’s back patting his tensed muscles.

“Well at first she didn’t say anything, which was the problem but when I asked her if she was jealous and to my surprise she said yes, but followed with the fact that she had no right to be,” Jimin begins, “which is wrong because she has every right to be, or well at least I want her to.” 

The statement bleeds into a question as Jimin crouch lower until he’s sitting down and leaned back against the counter. 

“And then she said that she’s in love with me and that I’ve been an idiot and didn’t notice at all, which I mean, is also not completely true because I just enjoyed her flustered blushing…” Jin cuts Jimin off before he could launch into his usual ramblings about you and pull Jimin from his crouched position, 

“Do you kids even hear yourselves?” he chuckles, “Just go confess to her then, Chim.” 

“I would also suggest apologizing.” Jungkook suggests but immediately shuts up when Jimin gives him a look that practically screams bloody murder. 

“Thanks Hyung.” 

“That’s what I’m here for… to keep you kids from destroying my kitchen.” 

003. Skin  

“…and he’s not even that good looking,” you continue on with your rational—not so rational— rant about Park Jimin while Lisa is slowly sinking farther into the couch with Season 2 of Grey’s Anatomy on rerun for the hundredth time; she’s also heard this speech of yours for just the same amount of times. 

“Ummhmm” is her uncommitted response as her eyes widen at a particularly graphic scene. 

“I mean I love it when his eyes does the crinkle thing when he smiles,” you sigh, “and his laugh is kind of adorable…” you trail, noting the way the popcorn misses your roommates mouth as she gapes at the love scene unfolding before her. 

“Having fun there?” you muse as you give up entirely on your mini rant and snuggle next to her on the plush cushion. 

“Yep.” 

“At least pretend to listen to me.” you murmur, smacking her lightly on the shoulder to which she chuckles and hugs you from behind, 

“Aww, it’s so rare for my responsible and perfectionist roommate to want me to be the adult in the relationship for once” she chuckles when you pout and simply feed you popcorn to keep your mouth occupied as she begins, 

“Listen to me (y/n),  it’s not like you to pace back and forth in circles.” she says, “Now how many times have you recited this speech about Park Jimin to me?” “Too many times.” you mourn after swallowing your popcorn, all the while hanging your head low with the weight of your realization. 

“That’s right. Now would you like to do me the honors of telling me why that is Darling? Or will I have to spell it out for you.” she implores, not wanting to spill the beans but if that’s what it takes then- 

“I like Park Jimin.” 

Lisa splutters on the buttery popcorn in her mouth and aggressively coughs out the intruding food particles caught in her wind pipe, her reaction borderline concerning as she tries to formulate sentences, 

“That was a lot easier than I thought.” she wheezes out, her voice hoarse after her prolonged coughing fit. She props herself up to breathe properly, situating herself against the other side of the couch but still facing you. 

“Well, that’s because that’s not the problem. I don’t think it’s mutual.” 

“(y/n) for god sakes the boy would do anything for you.” She states, picking up her cell phone to no doubt derive some sort of matchmaking plan for the pair of you, but your apprehension of her success rate keeps you from snatching the device out of her hands. 

“Jimin is just really nice.” 

“Babe, that idiot has broken so many hearts he must have been some sort of hero in his past life to not go through shitty karma on a day to day basis. He’s not just really nice.” Lisa states, still fully immersed in her phone, cut somehow she still cuts you off before you can argue- 

“Did you know that he hasn’t been with anyone since he met you?” 

It’s your turn to splutter as all your counterarguments flying erratically around in your brain at this impossible situation. 

“A-and you would know this because?” 

Lisa turns her phone around, the FaceTime app on full display and sitting there is a shocked Taehyung, his features blurred from the pixels on the screen, but you can tell its him by the way his rectangular smile is reflected from the phone to you. 

“Hi (y/n)!” Taehyung yells, his large hands waving frantically, causing them to blur from the lagging internet. 

“Oh my god. Taehyung, how much did you hear? Also please tell me Jimin is not in the room.” you nearly yell but it comes out as a weak inquiry as you feel all your blood drain from your face  and the air rushing to your head, feeling light headed. You mildly glare at Lisa over her phone screen and she simply laughs. 

“You need to hear it from a creditable source!” She exclaims pushing herself towards you so the two of you can face Taehyung on the screen. 

“Hey, babe.” he greets your roommate, honey practically dripping from their eyes from their maintained eye contact and you can’t help but- 

“Please refrain from eye-fucking each other while I’m in the same FaceTime window.” Lisa flushes and Taehyung coughs as they both cast their eyes downwards and you simply laugh at their adorable reactions. 

“Right,” Lisa clears her throat, “we’re here to talk about you.” 

“Jiminnie is not here by the way (y/n).” Taehyung cuts in, their combined efforts to change the subject almost comedic.

 “I just got connected but I can confirm that Jiminnie has been a good boy since he met you.” Taehyung chuckles out with a nod, but your tepid reaction clues him on your disbelief. 

Too bad for you, Taehyung is set on changing your mind.  “Think about it (y/n), one year is a long time for someone like him; he must be so lonely.” he continues pleading for his brother, 

“Maybe that’s why he’s been taking such long showers lately…” Taehyung trails off, the mischief in his orbs igniting when your confusion turns to that of realization, causing you to shoot up from the couch, your cheeks ablaze with the new found knowledge; an amused Lisa staring back at your flustered state.

“I-I’ll think about it.” you hurriedly spill out the words in order to escape but not before Taehyung’s deep voice echoes from the tiny cell phone, 

“Please put Jiminnie out of his dry spell (y/n)! His hand is being overworked.”  

As with all functions of life, most things are easier said than done and you do all you can to ponder over the possibilities of confrontation, but you end up pathetically backing out last minute. It’s because you’re embarrassed. You’re so embarrassed that you ran out on Jimin, embarrassed because you accused him of such a high crime when he is ,somewhat, innocent and embarrassed that you can’t even bring yourself to face him due to your confession. 

Yet, you miss him. 

You miss your best friend and the ease that comes with his presence. Swirling around like oil and water, your thoughts refuse to come to an agreement. Just the idea of seeing him again makes your heart leap with elation and morbid dread, so much so that for the next few weeks you adamantly avoid him like the plague, ducking your head low and keeping your eyes downcast, your head stuffed into a cap and your departures from lectures abrupt so that there is no room for slip ups. So, it comes as a surprise to you when the boys lure you right into the lion’s den without your knowledge. 

“Please (y/n), I really need to borrow your notes. I’ll fail that Calculus midterm tomorrow if you don’t give it to me.” Jungkook pleads with those doe eyes, his rosy lips pursed in a fail attempt at acting cute and you couldn’t help but laugh at his shameless begging. 

“Yeah, well maybe you should have been more worried about Integrals and less about your date’s anatomy." 

”(y/n) now is not the time for your nerd jokes.“ The boy whines, his expression so distressed so can’t help but feel your heart melt at his hopeless situation. He continues to pout, his facial expression shockingly like that of a toddler and you feel resolve melting away. Curse his damn good looks. 

"Fine, I’ll drop by after 7p.m. My notebook is at home and I can probably add some annotations for you.” You give in, Jungkook’s blinding smile and bear hug assuring, but the glares sent your way from some girls walking by is anything but. 

“Alright, alright that’s enough PDA from you, playboy. Let me go before your personal groupies murder me in my sleep.” you lightly pinch his arm as a warning and he lets you go with a tiny yelp and his signature bunny smile. 

Truly, the only reason you agreed is because you know Jimin would be out for dance practice, meaning that he won’t be back at the house until the unholy hours of dawn, also meaning that you have little to no chance of running into him… or so you thought.

You knock on the familiar mahogany door of the frat house at 7:30p.m, in case Jimin left for practice late, but you’re simultaneously relieved and disappointed at the lack of a certain blonde haired boy at your arrival. Jungkook greets you as he pulls you inside despite your protests, his brothers coming in and out of the living room to greet you. 

“Long time no see, kiddo.” Jin greets you as he gives you a hug, his shoulders still overwhelmingly broad as he towers over you. Funny, Jin will always seem like a dad to you—or a mom—due to his caring nature. 

“Yeah, well you know me and my insane schedules.” You chuckle, your own lie unconvincing even to your ears and you have to physically fight the urge to smack your palm against your forehead due to your lack of a better excuse. 

Jin just smiles knowingly, his hand coming to pat you on your back as he walks away, 

“I’ll leave you to it then." 

Left in a daze, you’re lost in thought of the last time you were here, until you hear a little throat clearing to the left of you which prompts you to focus once again on Jungkook, handing him your baby blue Calculus notebook, the rainbow sticky notes poking out randomly from different pages. 

"Here you go Kookie. Make sure not to destroy it." 

"I’m not Namjoon-hyung” he replies, laughing when he can hear Namjoon’s distant grumble of disagreement from the kitchen. 

“Don’t you have any exams coming up (y/n)?” Jungkook questions as he looks at you from his giant pile of notes on the dining table, his form settling for one of the many chairs surrounding it and pushing his bangs back into a funny looking ponytail on top of his head. The kid has such weird study habits, you muse as you observe his study desk. Why he needed your notebook to add to his giant pile of material was rather curious, considering that the frat usually have archives on archives of past exams and study guides for their members. “Hmm,” you muse on his question the upcoming exams the least of your recent concerns due to a certain boy, “no, but I have a paper due soon. Now that you mention it I can’t find my book that I was going to use for it." 

You rake your brain to the last time you’ve seen that book and is hit with flashes of citrus and mint scent and light blue comforter. 

Jimin.

 "Ah, well seems like I left it somewhere.” you begin to walk towards the staircase, “I’ll be right back, Kookie.” You yell from the second floor, the plush tan carpet soft under the pads of your feet. It’s strange to walk down the abandoned hallway down to the room on the far left, the one with “Park Jimin” written on a white board stuck on the center of the off white surface. You gently push the door open, still fearful that the owner of the room will turn up inside, but to your relief you simply find an empty room, the comforter neatly made but his books laying open— symptoms of midterms week. 

Curiously, you also find his your favorite hoodie folded on his nightstand along with your book placed on top. Padding over to the lamp on the nightstand, you tuck the book under your left arm and is about to escape from the room but not before hugging the hoodie to your chest, the temptation too tantalizing to resist. Citrus and mint. 

Faint click of the door flings you from your mini heaven, but you assume it’s just Jungkook checking up on you, so you hastily drop the hoodie and grip your book tighter. 

“I’ll be right there.” you murmur turning around to reassure him; only to have the air knocked out of your lungs and words to dry up in your throat at the sight of the owner of the room leaning against the door. 

Jimin is dressed in his dance clothes, white tank top cut obscenely low on the sides and his black joggers hugging his thighs and you’re so caught up with the fact that he’s in front of you that you nearly miss the way his breathing is shallow and there is a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead. Did he run here? you blink the thought away as you try to lessen the tension in the room. 

“Jimin,” you start, his head shooting up at the sound of his name and you melt from the hopeful look in his eyes, “Didn’t you have dance practice?” you wince at the way the words flowed out of your mouth, as if they were gibberish, awkward and clipped. 

“I told Hoseok that I had an emergency.” Jimin says, creeping closer to you, “Something I desperately needed to take care of,” he’s a breath away now, his cologne lighter due to perspiration, “and if I didn’t resolve it I would be very, very sad.” Your breath catches in your throat at his proximity, the intensity of his gaze making you wobble, but Jimin places a hand on your lower back, steadying you. How is it you always find yourself trapped between his body and his sinful gaze? 

The action causes him to pull you ever closer, eliminating all sense of space and you can feel every outline of his taunt muscle against your body.  

“What kind of a problem are you going through Jimin?” you whisper, not daring to move when one centimeter difference would mean his rosy lips pressed against  yours. Even if you know damn well you’re the root cause of his problems you’re not exactly keen on addressing the elephant in the room.

“Heart problems.” Jimin murmurs a corner of his lips quirking at the pun and you can’t help but roll your eyes, this is the cheesy Jimin you’re used to. 

“You’re a bit too young for that Mr. Park.” you comment, giggling despite yourself. 

“You’re killing me, (y/n).” Jimin murmurs all playfulness drained from his tone and instead is replaced with his plea. He places his lips against the crown of your head, even the barest brush of his lips, a gentle caress of a butterfly kiss at most, causes a shiver to run down your spine and Jimin smirks, reveling in the way your body is more honest than your words. 

“Did you miss me?” he places the lightest of kisses against your cheek, your blood rushing to meet the touch of his lips, no doubt coloring your cheeks and heating up your skin from the inside out. 

“Y-yes.” you manage to stutter when he stares you down at your lack of response. 

“Good. I missed you too.” he continues his maddening trail of kisses, “You were so mean to run out on me like that (y/n).” 

“I didn’t—“ but his other hand hushes your excuse, his index finger pressed onto your lips. 

“Don’t lie, you’re bad at it.” he commands, his gaze stern, “Now, (y/n), I need to answer your questions properly. You ran out before I could answer them.” 

Gears in your head are turning a mile a minute until you realize with horror that the lingering question you asked him was “So what if I’m jealous?” Oh god, that was a mistake. Head hung low in shame, you’re trying your best to avoid his gaze but he traps your chin with his thumb and index finger, forcing you to look him in the eyes, the sincerity in them. 

“I want you to be jealous.” he says, holding back his smile when he can hear your heart beating faster at his confession, in contrast your thoughts come to a screeching halt. God this is embarrassing, you bemoan but you can also feel Jimin’s heart hammering out of his chest and you finally allow yourself to fantasize that maybe, he feels the same way. 

“I was happy that you were jealous. That might sound strange but, hell, I get jealous too. The way other guys look at you, I wished how I could have chased them away, but you’re not mine.” Jimin is beginning to blush at his brazen words but you can’t help but smile at the way rose dust his cheeks and settle intensely at the tips of his ears. 

“So will you put me out of my misery and be mine?” Jimin asks, his eyes glistening with anticipation, the hand at the small of your back pressing you ever closer and you’re both smiling by the time you choke out a mangled “Yes” your lips in between his plush ones. 

It feels so good to kiss Park Jimin. The way his lips fit perfectly against yours, all those late nights staying up wondering what he would feel like—what he would taste like— seem to pay off at this very moment when his tongue is gently swiping at your bottom lip and you greedily grant him access, your excitement apparent when you nip at his bottom lip. His minty taste is addictive and you never wanted to stop. Your fingers tangle in his blonde strands, soft under your fingertips and you tug firmly at the wisps at the nape of his neck. 

“(y/n),” Jimin growls against your mouth, placing a small peck on your lips as warning, “you’re really testing my patience right now.” he groans when you begin to trial kisses down the column of his throat, his milky skin blossoming with nebulas of lilac and scarlet with your ministrations. “Maybe I like teasing you.” you hum, working a bruise against his collarbone causing him to hiss at your words and the way you run your tongue against the reddening skin. “I want to take you out on a date at least.” he whimpers when you repeat the action on the other side of his neck, the chills running down his spine a sharp contrast to his words. Despite his protest, his hands run down to cup your bottom, squeezing you closer to him. In his position you can feel his erection on your thigh, causing heat to blossom at the pit of your stomach at the mere contact. Strange how you’re both stubborn with your words, a match made in heaven really.   “Hmm is that so?” you hum as you nip at his earlobe, his piercings cold against your lips. “Your body seems to be saying otherwise.” you note as you push your knees experimentally upwards causing Jimin to groan and lean back, only to plop ungracefully down on the bed, the mattress letting out a squeak at the added weight. You also let out a squeal when your body lands on top of his, relishing the newfound closeness that comes with gravity as it pulls you down on him.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” he grasps when you straddle him against the mattress, placing your center against his, grinding down on his raging member and feeling your own wetness collect at the action. You laugh at the role reversal and busy your lips by swallowing his protests.  

“Mhhmm Jimin,” you mewl when he pushes his hips upwards in rhythm with yours, “I need you.” you pant and there’s a split second of indecision in Jimin’s eyes before he props himself up with a muttered Fuck it, and sits up to grasp the hem of his tank top to discard the useless article of clothing along with his joggers. 

Somewhere in your fumbling to peel off your top, you end up settling on Jimin’s thigh, the firm muscle underneath your throbbing core causing you to shudder and pause in your task. Jimin props you up, skillfully ridding you of your shorts and bra before placing you back on this thigh, the thick muscle smooth save for the way your lace panties are rubbing against your clit. 

“God you’re so beautiful.” he groans, watching the way you’re hesitantly rocking on his thigh for some much needed friction. 

“How did I ever get so lucky.” he murmurs as he leans down to kiss down the valley between your breasts, his swollen lips pausing to suck a bruise onto your collarbones before licking experimentally at your nipple. Your reaction is explosive as you lean backwards, jutting your chest farther towards his mouth, “Fuck, Jimin.” you keen, the sensations overwhelming your senses. “Ride my thigh baby, come on” he mouths against the skin of your other breast, swirling his tongue mischievously along the surface but lightly, driving you insane with his feather light touch, electricity crawling on your skin with each swipr of his tongue and brush of his fingertip.   “You’re so fucking wet for me.” he sighs, watching the way your lace panties are practically ruined scraps on your hips; his thighs glistening with your arousal. His hands grips your hips hard enough to leave bruises and forces you along the taunt muscle of his thigh, his tiny pants of encouragement forcing you closer to your release, the knot in the put of your stomach tightening at the way he’s drinking the sight of you in, pupils dilated and whines pouring out of his mouth without inhibition. 

Drunk in lust. “Touch yourself for me, baby girl.” he moans when you grind roughly down on him and watch as you begin to trail your right hand down to your core, your fingertips against your little bundle of nerves, pushing the lace to one side and granting Jimin full view of your swollen clit. He lets out high pitched whines when you begin to rub figure eights on yourself, his gaze fixated on the lewd view in front of him. Your moans become frequent and your hips frantic against his thigh, the profanities leaving your lips at an equally fast pace. “Come for me princess.” he moans into your ear and that’s all it took for you to release all over his thigh, your vision flashing in white from the overwhelming pleasure. “Ahh Jimin!” you cry out, nails digging into his back, his hands forcing your hips to keep moving until you cringe away from the over sensitivity.

 Plopping down on the mattress, you’re still recovering when Jimin takes your right hand, fingers coated with your arousal, and pops your index and middle finger into his mouth, his velvety tongue causing you to hum at the sensation, newfound embers of arousal beginning to rekindle.

 His pupils are blown out, the darkness and lust in them drawing you in. “You taste amazing,” Jimin sighs, licking your ring finger clean, his eyes never leaving yours, “but I can wait to taste you another time.” “I’ll eat you out every morning until you beg me to stop, ” His promise making you shiver with anticipation, “but now I really need to feel you around me, baby.” Your lust filled eyes take in his reclining figure, the way his back is relaxed against his headboard, his cock standing proudly against his smooth abs, leaking with his arousal. Crawling towards him, you chuckle at the way his breath catches in his throat when you grip his length, the tip red and angry from all your teasing and you decide to indulge in your desires when you lean down to lick a stick along the thick vein running down the side of his shaft. “Holy shit, baby” Jimin whines when you suck the tip into your mouth, your tongue teasing the slit and tasting a bit of pre-cum when Jimin pulls you off his cock with a tiny pop. “I need you on me, princess.” He commands, strangely calm despite his clear need and you glue slightly before climbing towards him, grinding your glistening folds against his cock. “Stop being a fucking cocktease and ride me.” he growls, his authoritative tone causing you to hurriedly push yourself onto his lap, gripping his base of his member tight and slowly easing yourself onto him, earning a hiss from him and a loud moan from you. Jimin’s hands instantly returns to your waist, the silver adoring his fingers digging into your heated flesh. You’ve never been so full. The ache of the stretch is delicious and the way Jimin pants against your neck is doing wonders for your arousal as you begin to over your hips in tight circles, causing Jimin to whine at the base of your throat, placing sloppy wet kisses there. Letting him adjust, you rake your nails through his gold locks slightly scratching his scalp, causing Jimin to keen at  the sensation. 

You’re working into a steady rhythm, lifting you self up on his cock and bouncing back down, the sound of skin slapping against skin sounding through the room and you’re mildly worried about the audience downstairs when Jimin braces his feet against the bed and thrusts up into you particularly hard. A scream is ripped from your throat, all pretenses of being discreet wiped clean from your mind. 

“Jimin! Jimin! Please, ah fuck.” you mewl, “I’m so close.” “Me too, baby girl, ah don’t grip me like that.” Jimin groans, his mouth coaxing yours into open mouthed kisses; messy with pants and groans. You’re dripping down his length at this point so when he presses his finger against your clit once again, you’re thrown over the edge, the euphoria from your release painting the black of your eyelids with galaxies and your eyes to roll back in pleasure. You’re riding out the waves of bliss when Jimin whimpers at the way your walls are gripping his member, milking his own release out of him and he frantically thrusts, chasing the high. 

Soon you feel his release paint your walls, the warmth causing you to shudder as you lay boneless on top of him, both your sweat covered skin sticking to one another but neither of you could move away, too busy basking in the afterglow. 

Jimin moves first, easing his softening length out of you; both of you grimacing at your combined releases running down your thigh. 

“Just wait here okay?” Jimin mumbles, his voice warm and sweet like honey and milk and you nod dumbly at his request, frankly you probably can’t even get up even if you tried since you can already feel soreness seeping into your hips. Jimin shrugs on joggers after roughly cleaning himself with some tissues before sneaking out into the hallway. He returns with a damp towel, cleaning up the mess both of you made, the warm cloth against your sensitive folds causing you to choke on the breath you were taking and Jimin chuckles in amusement which in turn earns him a smack on the chest from you.

 He rummages through his closet, coming up with a pair of his plain black boxers and slipping it on you before picking up his abandoned hoodie from the ground and sliding it on your form. 

“What now?” you mumble, sleepiness already dragging you towards Dreamland. 

“Now we cuddle and then I will make you breakfast in the morning because my girl deserves it.” he says, winding his arm around your middle so that your head rests against his chest, surrounding you with his strange citrus and mint scent, albeit now tainted with the smell of sex. You never thought Park Jimin was one for post sex cuddles, but you’re too entranced by the way his warm embrace is lulling you towards to sleep to care. Your heart hammers at the term of endearment and you place a modest peck on his cheek as a silent thank you. 

“I love you.” he mumbles into your hair when he thought you’ve fallen asleep. 

“I love you too.” 

.

.

.

“Good Morning (y/n).” Jungkook greets you the next morning, his eyes hawklike in their scrutiny. 

“Pleasant time last night?” He asks and you hum in agreement taking a careful sip from the scolding hot coffee mug. Jimin chooses that moment to stroll into the kitchen,his smile blinding as the morning sun, as he casually gives you a peck on the lips, 

“Good Morning, babe.” 

“So we’re even now right, Hyung?” Jungkook says, smirking at the way your eyebrows raise with interest. 

“Just remember, I was the best wing man in this entire relationship.” Jungkook declares, handing you your Calculus notebook, 

“I finished my math requirement since last semester (y/n), but thank you” 

“I’m going to give you three seconds to run you fucking brat.” 

“Kids! Not my kitchen!” 

[my-mystic-messenger]

I want to know why you don't like Saeyoung, I actually didn't like him at first he seemed overrated, everyone hyped him up so much, and I thought his design was hideous. But now I like him bc I'm a naturally playful person who's also laid back, so I clicked more with his personality than the others. Although, the biggest turn off to me is that he's emotionally distant/ slightly abusive and coming from a home like that, I don't believe his problems/attitude are cured just bc he has a girlfriend.

Heyo dear anon! I haven’t gotten an ask actually directed to me and my preferences in a really long time so I was really excited when I saw this one pop up :O 

Honestly, there are a lot of reasons I don’t like Saeyoung. He’s not my least favourite route - that role goes to Jaehee and Yoosung - but he sure is my least favourite character. To explain, we only get to talk to these people for 11 very eventful days. That gives us just enough of an idea of what their character would be like in day to day life. I didn’t hate Seven’s route - since you know, it was super action filled and dramatic compared to Jaehee (most boring and bland route ever!) and Yoosung (compare me to Rika one more time I dare you) - but if I had to just hang out with Saeyoung on a normal day, something a little like for example the Christmas DLC, I wouldn’t last! 

Anyway, I already gave some arguments as to why I don’t like Seven in this post. 

To summarize:

1) He’s the ‘right’ choice

2) The story revolves around him

3) Way more content

4) No room for disagreement

For details on all of these, read the post. I elaborated on them in some detail. 

Now those arguments are pretty general, however I do have personal issues with his character as well. Funnily enough, I love his design. I actually liked his design better than Jumin’s when first seeing the playable characters which says a lot, because Jumin is my one and only.

I have OCPD. Now for anyone who doesn’t exactly know what that is, in short and simple it means that you are an extreme perfectionist. You have to have control over every situation, express your emotions in a very controlled manner if at all and are extremely orderly. I’m talking about sorting my books by author, category, colour and size and my clothes by colour and thickness/the weather I wear them to. My entire life is planned through and organized to the T. I am probably one of the most disciplined people you might ever meet…Saeyoung is the polar opposite of that.

His living situation says a lot about himHis ‘house’ is a disgusting mess and I wouldn’t last a day in there without wanting to pick up all the clothes and shit lying around to make it even remotely habitable. Not just that, but he’s a general mess when it comes to these things. I need everything to be structured and organized. He’s everything but!

So does the way he feeds himself…or doesn’tHis diet is repulsive and unhealthy as fuck. I don’t want to play his mommy that has to teach him how to feed himself properly but at the same time I don’t want my boyfriend/husband to eat like a 13 on his night alone at home. Heart disease much? No thank you.

His personality is fake as fuck as well as over the top and I don’t it at all. Something that people like to ignore is that this guy isn’t happy or playful at all. That isn’t Saeyoung, that is Seven. It’s a mask that he later on drops. Basically, we never really get to know Saeyoung, only Seven. Either way, this dude gives me a whiplash. He makes jokes as shitty as memes from 2009, constantly pranks people in such hurtful ways I don’t understand how anyone could find that funny and generally belittles other people for comedic effect. I don’t find him funny, I never laugh at his jokes and if I ever have to call him God707 (Napoleon complex much?!) ever again I might actually smash my head against a wall. He’s supposed to be quirky but that ain’t the good kind of quirky for me. What also bugs me about his humour is that it’s so thoughtless. A good joke can happen due to the right moment, but I generally prefer jokes that are somewhat planned and thought out, jokes you actually have to think about a little. For a genius he sure doesn’t think a lot.

His ‘depression’ is tiringOne moment he’s acting all happy go lucky, the next moment, however, some shit snaps and he turns into emoboy1996, constantly talking about death and how shit everything is etc. It’s tiring as fuck and just reminds me that his other behaviour is fake every single time. I had depression for many years, but I didn’t rub it in other people’s faces and I most certainly don’t make jokes about it. Wanting to kill yourself is some serious shit, the lowest any human being could feel, and he brushes it off and jokes about it off handedly. I find that to be disrespectful and frankly I question his ‘depression’ a lot of the times. I come from an abusive household myself so I know what kind of toll that can take on somebody. If he were to have depression I’d be happy to help him through it as best as I can, but with him it always feels so much more attention seeking than anything else.If he were truly depressed, he would ask for help properly, as in take it serious, or he’d suffer silently. His behaviour is short of erratic and ridiculous. Therefor, I can’t even take that serious about him, because he constantly joke about it. I know that recently it’s become ‘cool’ to have a mental illness and I literally saw a friendship goals post where two girls wrote how they were having a mental breakdown at the same time and apparently that was funny, but I just can’t laugh about shit like that. Frankly, to someone who actually still suffers and suffers on the inside as to not bother the people around themselves Seven and his bullshit behaviour are just a huge slap in the face. 

He makes a lot of dumb decisions and others have to clean up the mess for himTo me Saeyoung seems very thoughtless and undisciplined a lot of the time. Vanderwood has to clean for him, because he’s incapable. He can’t work because ‘there are other things on his mind’ that are more important than a certain commitment. Because he has bad memories of Christmas, he has to ruin it for the others. Keeping you away is such a good idea! Let’s break your heart on purpose and insult you while you’re at it, because that what he thinks is right and your opinion or feelings don’t mean square shit. Yoosung almost lost his eye forever, because Saeyoung can’t plan. His brother almost died, because Saeyoung can’t plan. You, Vanderwood and him almost died because he can’t fucking plan. Those are just a few instances, I could go on for hours. He acts very egocentric and rash as well as putting his wants and needs first a lot of the time. Not to mention that he seems incapable of taking anything serious or sticking to a deadline or deal. You can be laid back - heck I am laid back myself! - but at some point you have to be a grown-up and do the fucking tasks necessary to live like a normal human being. He fucks up even at the basics! Those are nasty traits to have. 

My head is a mess at the moment - University homework is killing my spirit - so I’m not as organized up top as I’d like to be, but all in all, those are some of the main reasons I don’t like him. It also doesn’t help that I find his voice soooooo annoying. I’m not a fan of Saeran’s voice either and I can’t stand whenever Zen sings, but otherwise the other voices have such positive impact on me while Saeyoung’s just drives me up the wall?

Jumin is like warm honey 

Jaehee is super soothing

V is soft and pleasant to listen to

Yoosung is sweet and excited

Zen is hot and seductive 

Saeyoung just sounds shrill and silly….

Obviously there are probably more reasons I don’t like him and probably a lot of them people won’t agree with and that’s fine! Everyone has their own personality and therefor prefers other traits. It’s all a matter of taste. Saeyoung just really, really, really isn’t mine.