#the thought of having to indulge other peoples Fun Holiday act is fucking nauseating right now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-casbah-way · 11 months ago

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i haven’t written a single word of anything since uni ended and everything i’ve tried to draw has turned out awful and i can’t even sit through an episode of a tv show to distract myself because this time of year makes me so depressed and suicidal i hate this

#i keep going to message people and then just sitting there with nothing to say because i can’t feel anything #i don’t even know where i am or what i’m supposed to be doing or who is talking when i open my mouth #i can’t even ignore everything and focus on my interests instead because i only enjoy them when i’m creating stuff for them #and i can’t do that because fucking everything i make turns out so terrible that it makes me angry #i have a constant pressure headache and i’m sleeping like three hours every night and i’m not eating #i don’t know why i don’t know what’s wrong with me #the thought of having to indulge other peoples Fun Holiday act is fucking nauseating right now #i have nothing left in me right now i can’t feel or say or do anything #i feel like something is seriously wrong with my brain like physically #i was trying to read something in the paper today and it was like i was drunk or high everything kept moving #and i felt like i was going to throw up trying to follow the letters around like i was reading a foreign language #i keep hearing weird noises that distract me and apparently no one else can hear them #i don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me

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