#the things i have to deal with on vacation
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
I saw your post about Rafe and Reader on a family vacation, and I liked it! So could you maybe do another part to that, like maybe they are at the beach or shopping etc and Rafe and Reader are being really touchy etc?
thank youuuuuu
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
Reqest: more rafe + family shenanigans
Warnings: Rafe being inappropriate, no smut,
—
‘’There you are!’’ Wheezie exclaimed the moment you and Rafe strolled into the cabin, twenty-seven minutes behind the rest of the family. ‘’We’ve been back for almost half an hour. Where did you go?’’
‘’We got lost,’’ Rafe said coolly, taking a long sip from his water bottle, as if it was no big deal.
Beside her, Sarah wasn’t buying it. She crossed her arms and tilted her head, giving the two of you a pointed look. ‘’You got lost?’’ she repeated, her tone full of doubt.
You nodded, stepping in to back Rafe up. ‘’That’s on me. My lace came undone, and Rafe stopped and waited for me, but when we tried to catch up to you we took a wrong turn. Luckily we found our way back.’’
Rafe glanced at you, impressed by how you could lie on the spot so well. You even sprinkled some truth. You did take a wrong turn, but it wasn’t an accident.
Being younger — and far more innocent — Wheezie was easier to fool with your lies. But Sarah wasn’t stupid, and neither was Ward, who was standing behind the kitchen counter and prepping for the barbecue tonight. He knew his son too well to be easily deceived.
‘’Do you need help with the vegetable, Mr. Cameron?’’ you asked, your tone light and polite as you moved closer to the counter. It was an attempt to shift the conversation, redirect the attention away from your little detour.
Ward glanced up, giving you a small smile in thanks. ‘’Sure,’’ he said, stepping aside and gesturing toward the cutting board. ‘’You can chop these carrots and the bell peppers.”
You slid into place, picking up the knife and getting started.
‘’I’m gonna go shower,’’ Rafe declared. He came up to you and kissed the side of your face, his hand lingering on the small of your back. ‘’You’re welcome to join if you get bored with the carrots and bell peppers.’’
Sarah wrinkled her nose, having unfortunately heard. ‘’You’re disgusting.’’
He didn’t say anything, but you could feel his smirk behind you.
‘’Rafe, come on. Wheezie’s here…’’ Ward reprimanded tiredly for the umpteenth time.
Fortunately, the younger Cameron had her nose deep in her book and didn’t pay attention to what Rafe had said.
You were good for Rafe, but your relationship was very physical. And with that came Rafe’s unfiltered mouth — much to his family’s dismay. They were happy for him, but they could do without the constant smacking and grabbing of your ass or any other non-PG display of affection.
‘’What? I just want to save water, like you said we should. The planet and all,’’ he defended, playing the innocent card and talking out of his ass.
Unfortunately for him, Sarah didn’t buy it. Rafe never cared about the environment.
‘’I’ve been doing good things to help lately. We even stopped using con—’’
‘’Rafe!’’ you cut before he could finish, your cheeks flaming up.
—
OBX taglist: @moralina@eudximoniakr @toylewestinnyc @rottenstyx@sweeterheartxamerica @jordierama @viridwityy @izzy-laufeyson @kenzi-woycehoski @lilaconner @Katsukis1Wife @hawkegfs @mommyruuetrue @acornacreacure @snownjune @nmedina8611 @slvtherinseeker @slvtherinseeker @poppet05 @1stevelacyfan @illf4iry @withbeautyandrage @maybankslover @sunflowerziva @laylasbunbunny @Honey-marvel15 @leoluvsur-pappy @slytherhoes @kcskye123 @outerbanksacc @pedrosprincess @mikaelsonsstuff @skyesthebomb @a1mzcruml3y @iluurmom @popeheywardssecretgf @madelynie @loverofdrewstarkey @radiant-whore @outsider-at-hogwarts @luci1fer @bbycowboi @rafecameronsbadussy @urbfsbitchlol @nomorespahgetti @bloodyhw @Veescorneroftheworld @papayaboyluvr @slytherinambitious @darylscvmdumpster @tommysaxes @johannelis2302nely @lynbubble @straberryshortcake143 @beth-gallagher22 @doestalker @rubyliquor @theflcwer @angelxxrose @sierraluvzz @cruzgrecia @evelestrange @sunnysunny133696 @under-seasoned-pasta @hoeforsirius @buckyswhxre @emerald-09 @simonessolarsystem @rehead1180 @stvrkey @ynmunson @riddle18 @love4ldr @withfireandbl00d @wonderland2425 @blublock404 @eddieslut69
#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#outer banks#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe fanfiction
566 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Day Off
Fandom: Bungou stray dogs
Characters: Chuuya x Reader
------------‐---------------------------------------
Chuuya Nakahara rarely got days off. Being one of the Port Mafia’s Executives didn’t exactly allow for casual breaks. So when Mori “insisted” he take a day to himself, Chuuya took it as less of a suggestion and more of a punishment.
He was still grumbling about it when he stormed out of the office, his hat tilted low and his coat billowing behind him. That’s when he saw you, leaning casually against the wall, scrolling through your phone.
“Finally,” you teased, slipping your phone into your pocket. “I thought I was going to have to drag you out of there myself.”
Chuuya’s scowl softened as his sharp blue eyes met yours. “Mori’s on my case,” he muttered, running a hand through his tousled orange hair. “Apparently, I’m ‘too stressed.’ Can you believe that crap?”
“Absolutely,” you said with a smirk, stepping closer to straighten the brim of his hat. “And I’m glad he did. I’ve been trying to get you to take a break for weeks.”
Chuuya scoffed but couldn’t hide the small smile tugging at his lips. “Fine, princess. What’s the plan?”
“Anything but mafia business,” you said, looping your arm through his. “Deal?”
“Deal,” he said with a sigh. “But this better be good.”
Your first stop was a small café tucked away in a quiet corner of Yokohama. Chuuya, true to form, insisted on ordering the most extravagant dish on the menu—poached eggs with truffle oil and smoked salmon—while you opted for something simpler.
“Why do you always pick the fanciest thing on the menu?” you teased as he took a sip of his coffee.
He leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs with an air of smugness. “Because I have taste, babe. You should try it sometime.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help laughing. Moments like this reminded you of the Chuuya beneath the mafia persona—the man who could charm anyone with a grin and an offhand remark.
As the morning passed, the two of you wandered through the nearby streets, popping into boutique shops and browsing art galleries. Chuuya had a habit of pointing out pieces that reminded him of you, though his taste tended toward the bold and dramatic.
“This one’s got your fire,” he said, nodding to a painting of a crimson sunset over a stormy sea.
“And what about that one?” you asked, gesturing to a serene watercolor of a quiet lake.
He smirked. “That’s definitely not you. Too boring.”
You swatted his arm, laughing as he pretended to shield himself.
The peaceful vibe of the day was shattered as you walked along the pier, the salty breeze ruffling your hair. Chuuya’s posture suddenly stiffened, his hand instinctively moving to rest on the small of your back.
“Chuuya?” you asked, following his gaze.
“Stay close,” he murmured, his voice low and dangerous.
A group of men emerged from the shadows, their faces twisted with smug confidence. You recognized the emblem on their jackets—rivals of the Port Mafia.
“Well, well,” the leader drawled, a cigarette dangling from his lips. “Look who’s taking a little vacation. Didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to walk around without backup, Nakahara.”
Chuuya’s laugh was sharp and cold. “Backup? For you? Don’t make me laugh.”
The men lunged, and chaos erupted.
Chuuya’s ability, For the Tainted Sorrow, flared to life, the air around him shimmering with power. One by one, the attackers were lifted off their feet, slammed into walls, or sent sprawling into the ocean with bone-crushing force.
You weren’t one to stand idly by. When one of the men managed to break through Chuuya’s defenses and charge at you, you ducked under his swing and jabbed your elbow into his ribs, making him stagger.
Chuuya glanced over his shoulder, a feral grin spreading across his face. “That’s my girl.”
The fight ended as quickly as it began, the thugs groaning on the ground or scrambling to escape. Chuuya dusted off his hands, his expression one of pure disdain.
“Idiots,” he muttered, turning back to you. “You okay?”
“Better than they are,” you quipped, earning a soft chuckle from him.
After the encounter, Chuuya insisted on taking you to his favorite rooftop bar, claiming you both deserved a drink after the “exercise.”
The view was breathtaking, the city lights stretching out below like a sea of stars. Chuuya ordered a bottle of his favorite wine, pouring you a glass with a flourish.
“To my so called "day off",” he said, raising his glass with a smirk.
“And to you finally learning how to relax,” you replied, clinking your glass against his.
Chuuya leaned back in his chair, the tension in his shoulders finally easing. “You know, I didn’t think I’d enjoy today. But... you always make things better, doll.”
His words caught you off guard, and for a moment, you simply stared at him, your heart swelling with affection.
“You mean that?” you asked softly.
“Of course I do,” he said, reaching across the table to take your hand. “You’re the only thing that keeps me sane in this mess of a world.”
The rest of the evening passed in a haze of soft laughter, stolen glances, and quiet moments of contentment. As the night deepened, Chuuya pulled you close, his arms wrapped around you as the city buzzed far below.
“Thank you,” he murmured against your hair.
“For what?”
“For being the best part of my life,” he said simply, his voice low and sincere.
And in that moment, with the world far below and Chuuya’s warmth surrounding you, everything felt perfect.
------------‐---------------------------------------
"That's my girl" IM GOING FERALL
#anime#anime and manga#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bungou sd#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs x reader#chuuya x reader#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x y/n#x reader#manga#x y/n#one shot
30 notes
·
View notes
Note
You really have a talent for making a mountain out of a molehill. Not every ask needs to be answered with a novel jfc
Hi 👋🏻
That's an... interesting way to see things, but since you seem to have an aversion towards certain amounts of words, I'll use a picture to get my points across.
Richard, could you come here for a moment? Ah yes, thank you.
Here is lovely Richard, presenting your options:
#rammstein#ask#the things i have to deal with on vacation#while all i should do is laying in the sun watching my toddler play drinking aperol and dreaming about Rammstein smh
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
THESE TOOK SO FUCKING LONG!!
some of the pictures are a little blurry but we're just gonna have to deal with that
#the mountain goats#absolute lithops effect#collage art#all hail west texas#this song hits differently when it's summer vacation and you know you're going to spend the rest of the summer alone in your room#and also your jaw hurts and you're dealing with a bunch of medical conditions#save me john darnielle#i really don't like how the last one came out cause i was running out of things to put in it and had to use that weird W#but i guess we'll have to deal with that too#special thanks to my SPED school's art room and the two nice art therapists that tolarate me#this is the only actually productive thing i did this school year other than sitting around and petting cats
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
[Tired Bount noises]
#jin: shitposting#//okay but fr PSA#//today is like the second day of the past two weeks ive had off from work. things have been crazy to say the least#//it did lead me to sorta drop off the face of the earth here and i apologize for that and also apologize for the fact that#//i still probably wont be around much until wed/thursday#//we did pass our inspection at work so thats a relief but now i have to deal with my /regular/ work shenanigans for the most part 💀#//and then toward the end of the month i will be going on vacation with my gf. so there is a chance i just may not be around a ton for a#//while but. we'll see SDFJHGDSGHJF
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
My 3 little cousins were baptized today. "Triggered" is kind of a strong word but being in a catholic church again... I'm a little fragile rn ngl.
#butch speaks#it was hard not to shake as i held J over the basin to have the water poured on his head#when he was cleansed of sin. as if a little kid could ever knowly or intentionally offend a so-called loving god#the words came naturally to me#but they meant nothing#i remember when they used to mean something. when i begged gods forgiveness for my sin (being a lesbian) and tried to pray the gay away#i remember how much i wanted to die bc i could never truly embrace the sacred#i STILL deal with the complex of catholic guilt. its a very real thing. its hard to shake#i cant help but wonder if the catholicism ingrained in my brain is why i have a hard time with casual dating n sex#fun fact: there was a point when i was a teen that i got REALLY catholic#i prayed everyday. i talked to my patrin saint (st agnes) every day. i wantsd to become a nun#the thought of marrying a man mad me more sad than feeling like an alien did. so id marry the church as a nun.#not the way to hide being a dyke when ur fam is catholic btw LMAO#the first priest i knew was father joe. i loved that guy. he was so kind. friendly. briming with love.#he was one of my biggest references for what a good person was like#he talked about gods love a lot. how its for everyone. no one is exluded. ever.#he used to look right at me when he said stuff like that. a few other kids too. all of whom grew up to be queer#then father joe passed away. our church merged with another church. father jeff was the priest there.#he was kind but not as kind. he talked about hell and sin more. he looked at the same kids father joe did.#but the kindness in his eyes wasnt there.#that wasnt for us.#my family wasnt even THAT catholic#i went to church every sunday i did vacation bible school and catechism classes and youth group#i was an altar servant and in the choir#i even used to speak/understand a little latin#imagine how much worse id have been if my mom could have afforded catholic school lmao#grateful to have grown up poor in that regard#hm. actually... reading my own tags. mayne we were pretty catholic actually.#fucking hell.#i need to have lesbian sex in a church before god and everyone. mayeb that would fix me.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate rich people and no I’m not just talking about billionaires
#‘the ruling class has won if we’re all being pitted against each other!!’#sure but i have to actually deal with moderately rich people in real life and they are absolutely evil people#im not mad at people for living comfortably and having nice things and experiences. everyone should have that#im mad at people for claiming they are the poorest people in the world while they live in giant houses and don’t have jobs#and go on international vacations every month and add additions onto their house just for funsies#I hate people who have a million times more than I could ever dream of and yet act like it’s my fault for not having more#if me never being able to dream of living comfortably is my fault for having tattoos#then I’m allowed to hate you for not having to experience any problems or scarcity and having luxuries handed to you#rant inspired by my father bc he described the very detail renovation he’s getting next#and his big vacation next week. and in the same breath called my mom lazy for having been denied for Medicaid#that is evil. he is evil. yes he counts as rich and yes I’m allowed to hate people like him even if he isn’t personally ruining the world#yes these people have completely different lives than me. I do not have to pretend they aren’t incredibly privileged#sorry I don’t feel bad that people like that can only afford to go to Italy and the Bahamas and not Also Alaska this month#they don’t have to have compassion for peoples actual struggles so actually no I don’t have to put myself in their shoes#I fucking wish I could relate to a fraction of the ‘problems’ these people have#we are not the same. and I would never want to be like these people but yes I am jealous of the peace and leisure rich people have#mine#txt#vent post
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
hugely sick and tired of my family assuming that i'm always miserable and treating me as such. like maybe if you didn't constantly ask me what was wrong with me i wouldn't be so fucking annoyed all the time
#like they start FIRST THING in the morning#i mean am i going through it? yeah kind of#there are things i should probably deal with re: several people that i'm avoiding because i simply do not want to deal#whats the line from buffy. happily vacationing in the land of not coping#but it's not like i'm moping around all the time i'm literally just existing and my mom Takes Offense#this is the second saturday in a row i've just been sitting there eating breakfast and my mom is like WELL DO YOU NOT WANT THIS JOB#?????????????? am i supposed to do a jig before going to the most boring job on earth? i sit in an empty room for six hours#it's not like i said a word about work or anything else for that matter. i was doing a crossword puzzle and minding my business#i am burned the fuck out. i really am#it's not just the october craziness i'm burned out from living with my parents#i was going to go out with someone again and i finally just pulled the plug because i do not have the mental energy at all#anyway whatever the reason i'm tired of being yelled at about it
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
🤐
#random personal stuff#personal whining feel free to ignore#HOW does one - knowing full well that the boss is out with surgery for the next few weeks#and that someone else is already taking next week off and it's been already arranged for a while#and that there are only two other staff members besides -#HOW then does one decide at practically the last minute to insist on taking next week off for a vacation on a whim#leaving two people as the only library staff for a week#or perhaps expecting the one with existing plans to alter his schedule to suit this whim#I do not understand this and quite frankly I don't think much of it#especially after having a long talk with the counselor this morning about what constitutes being selfish and inconsiderate#(remind me why I pay someone to force me to deal with my feelings twice a month this was a terrible idea)#(I don't want to think about this don't make me we're all better off if I don't answer this week's reflection question)#anyway I already feel like I got something sucked out of me and now this nonsense#imagine living in a world where you could just do. things. like that. to other people. & not care. because you get your fun whim vacation.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
So busy with Sparkstember that I almost forgot that I go back to school on tuesday
#honestly maybe it's better this way. i'd rather just not care at all rather than be super stressed about it#just like i've been doing with every little thing for most of my life#might have missed the date when we were supposed to choose our elective courses. well whatever Lol#and i still don't even know what my schedule is or what classes i have this semester oopsie#well the university itself doesn't seem particularly pressed about giving us the schedule either#but i'd probably better still read up on the classes at least before they start#i don't have high hopes for this year just like with the last. probably should just stop pretending that i still want to study anything atp#this wasn't even my first choice of a course bcs i had to prepare for that damn exam to be accepted for my preffered one#but i couldn't be bothered to study for it again which probably should have told me enough abt whether going into this again is a good idea#i'm so tired just thinking about it but i know that actually looking for a job and then having a job will be a thousand times worse so uh#but at least i'd have my own money and start doing something ughhhh. useful maybe. who knows what it will be though#i have no ideaaaaaa. but this feels like just putting off the inevitable. like at some point i need to get my shit together#i will probably report at the end of the next week about how i'm so done already#i don't really knowwww mannnnnm. i don't feel like i had any vacation at all even though 3 months have already passed#and i also sort of didn't prepare something relatively easy to do that would have given me an actual document#that would confirm that i actually finished that part-time school thing last semester#can't really be bothered to come back to it at this point though#well at least i learned something actually useful and interesting from that and that's enough for me tbh#and a lot of it is also relevant to my current area of interest (digital drawing and computer graphics in general)#well speaking of which i'd better just get back to drawing now lol. just one more left to finish!!!#in short i guess that my new way of dealing with stress is just ignoring it all#well it's worked in some way at least so it can't be an entirely bad thing lol#goosepost
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
(please dont post this 🙏)
https://www.tumblr.com/jayflrt/726251775918800896/delete
is this guy bothering u queen 🤨 jkjk
but uhm. im sorry for this mess. ngl idk what started it?? but i was hoping maybe i could help? somehow
the only way i can actually help is if u listen to anon 👍 nah fr i have no other solution bc if it is who i think it is then they will stop at nothing to bother u and i think just seeing those cringe asks is enough tbh... i hope it didnt bother u too much n i feel bad for it happenjng 😭 shit got sent to a friend of mine as well and they only stopped when they deleted any posts/reblogs or tags w me involved. genuinely worried her which is so. silly.
ive already (accidentally) sent u any links involving me in ur main account (thought id spare u wasting more time on this (i also forgot to send them here instead... sorry)) but i also hope its ok if u delete their asks as well?
sorry for u having to put up w smthn like this :') n i hope this ask isnt weird...
girl what
#this is TUMBLR#guys i have been on the internet since i was a kid i have enough common sense to recognize when things are off#also i am grown pls do not involve me in these roundabout stories and cryptic asks#if u want smthn just say it straight?? i do not want to deal with shady anon messages on my vacation#i was gonna just ignore bc this was not a nice way to go about this at all but i have been getting these messages for a week straight
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don’t understand ppl who leave their packing, until the last minute. i am already packing and i don’t go anywhere for over a week, imao
#*walter white voice* jesse we need to pack#imao i’m watching brba and thinking about packing at 2am#i actually haven’t started packing but i’m gonna pack all my clothes and just leave everything else until the day before#bc a lot of stuff i still need in the meantime#i also need to put pins on my jacket but that’s a separate thing that i keep forgetting to do#bc i think a lot of my best pins would be better on my jacket#i actually need to work out which clothes i’m wearing#like which ones to pack and which ones i’m wearing on the drive#i’m planning on probably just wearing sweats and a regular ass shirt#and i’ll dress up when i’m actually there#and i gotta make sure i have my meds all sorted#and i need to make sure i don’t forget anything and that i keep everything safe#this post is kinda just me talking to myself imao#but honestly they usually are#okay but like someone tell me to not to pack at 2am bc i can literally do it tomorrow during the day but my brain is like ‘pack now!!’#bc i have it stuck in my head#imao i’m also only going for three days but travelling is a whole thing with me#leaving the house in general is a whole thing with me#what may seem like nothing to some people is a huge deal to me#like wow you’re going on vacation for three days? so what?#but this is only the second time i’ve done this#and the longest i’ll have been away from home aside from when i was in the hospital#so yeah it’s a big deal#the worst part is the travel tho#when i’m actually there i’ll have a fun time bc i did last time#well kinda i also got homesick and was in the middle of a depressive episode but i digress#but this time i’m not! so go me!#gwen actually leaves the house and feels good about it for once!#gwen rambles#gwenposting
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
shaved my legs so I'm a different person now
#I was impressed that my dinky armpit-hair razor actually held up to the furred terrain it was dealing with#we've had water shortages 3 years in a row so the legs just weren't a priority. this might be the first time in a year or so#exciting stuff lol#also today I got crowded into a corner in the metro by a guy who was in the ladies carriage (?)#he was a good two heads taller than me. no mean feat. and stunningly well-proportioned#like a Greek statue tbh. just someone god took his sweet sweet time on y'know?#but like we're in *ran and he wasn't even supposed to be in the ladies carriage let alone literally squashing me into the wall#so I escaped under his arm#and got my first set of non-ooh-look-an-Asian-tourist looks from the other women in the carriage#the looks ranged from /poor helpless you what the hell was he doing/ to /goddamn girl you want to get away from THAT?/#yes ma'am I'm practising to be a monk you see. and also I'm not interested in getting arrested on my morning commute.#and t h e n (adding to the confusion we all had about him) he wedged himself into a newly vacated seat in between two chadori women#and got out a crochet hook and headphones#clarifying: no room to move either of his arms where he'd chosen to sit (also he's! not allowed to sit there!). barely room to BREATHE.#and this man really goes no no the commute needs Enrichment. sat there crocheting.#two things: he was diverting attention away from me which I always appreciate bc I'm tired of getting stared at everywhere#and: am I in love with no-social-cues Adonis who I'll never see again? Have I just been away from people my age too long? wth#thought
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#just need to bitch about my new job for a minute#first of all - so lucky and happy to have a job i will say that#been unemployed for two months and i need something to pay the bills#but...the fucking 'no one wants to work' of it all is such bullshit#so this new company starts you at $13/hr#not great but considering i live in rural america it's way worse around here#they're remote but their definition of remote is that you can only work from your house no where else#you get two days off per week but it's not two days back to back#if you're full time you get extra holiday pay but there are no holidays off#if you're part time fuck you you just have to work#full time employees get 10 vacation days and 6 sick days#part time you just get so many unpaid hours off#like...i'm working part time because i'm hoping to get actual work in my field#but you're telling me if i was full time i'd get /16 days/ of paid time off per year?#but also i'm not allowed to go anywhere else while i work??#like i have family just out of state that i could pop over and see on a long weekend or even a short one#but i don't even have two days back to back so i just can't go see them without taking time off#and like...probably i can just use a vpn and it won't be a big deal#and i'm hoping this is a super temporary thing and i can actually use my degree#but like /fucking hell/ of course no one wants to work in conditions like this!#i know it's work from home and there are some perks to that but not enough to make up for everything else#also not them telling me during my interview that after training you don't have to be on camera#but during out first day today being told we have to 'earn the privilege'#bitch please it's fucking chat support#i am just so tired of employers thinking that it's a privilege for us to work for them#it's a privilege for you to have me honestly#oh and also if you run out of days off you don't get unpaid time off#they just start giving you strikes#like our trainer is really nice and great but also she's trying to sell this 10 days off as some kind of amazing thing#in the us that's /fine/ if you also get the holidays off!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Please ignore this it's almost 1am and I can't sleep and am full of vinegar ...laying in bed stuck with my thoughts and man do they suck, for months all I've been doing it feeling guilty and horrible about myself and hoping to talk to people in hopes of apologizing and making burned ends less burnt.. I'm coming to the realization that it's never going to happen and need to just give up, I wont be getting my chance to speak.. I want to be forgiven, but at the same time, thinking about the pass two years and how angry I actually am about how things were stated and also parts left out, the forgiveness I deeply want really means nothing to me. if anything it's acted as a fuckin poison to my brain to constantly hope and think about it on a daily bases. Stuck thinking about how everyone hates me and not having a way out like a mouse stuck in a burning cage.
I miss drawing the things I liked, all my Fav OC's I now kinda hate due to having to throw them in the corner, forcing myself to redo them all when in the end not really having a good purpose to do so.
I don't know how to bounce back anymore but I have no choice but to try and walk away anyways. I'll find something that will click again and meet new people.
#Drama and mental illness really doesn't doesn't feel good man#The pills help abit but I still over think and have to deal with the constant anxiety#I know I keep talking about it but That's all that's flood my brain#Music doesn't even drown it out this just feels like public school all over again#Part of me wants to curl up and cry and the other wants me to just wants to scream in anger#I need a long ass vacation from myself#I am doing my best to watch my mouth and don't say stupid shit that's gonna get me in trouble#For most people isn't fuckin easy but for me IT AIN'T#Yes I've said alot of things that are hurtful and from the bottom of my heart I AM SORRY#I hate me to trust me I'm an open fish tank filter without the filter and have to do my hardest to keep that damn tank clean#It sounds so much like an excuse when I'm just stating a reason#I need to sleep man
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
***
#this is gonna sound so obnoxious but please stick with me here#it’s been interesting to see my bootstrap believing parents come to terms with the difference between my brother and I#I am so incredibly fortunate/privileged it’s kind of insane#my fiancé is an accountant with a generous family and I’m a lawyer#I think our life is like. the bare minimum of what every human should have just by virtue of being alive#we have decent housing and can afford groceries and modest vacations and have health insurance etc#my family is lower to true middle class depending on the year#and my brother is a broke single grad student in a creative field#but I’m the oldest so my parents will be like ‘well idk why his apartment is so expensive that seems like a poor choice’#and then I tell them what our rent is (and we got a deal because the previous tenants trashed the place)#and they’re like 👀👀👀 pardon#like yeah that’s the housing crisis. idk what to tell you. housing is too expensive#I can’t quite articulate the phenomenon but it’s like me being the prototype of ‘successful’#and then living a modest life fairly similar to my parents when they were my age and decidedly not lawyers is actually clicking for them#like maybe things are actually super broken. and poverty/financial stress has nothing to do with work ethic and everything to do with luck
3 notes
·
View notes