#the sylki AU that got longer and wronger

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My longest ever fic is at last complete! Here's the final chapter, which unlike most of the others does not contain any porn, but it's not exactly 'wholesome' either. But if you made it through the chapter where someone got stabbed then I reckon you can cope with this one too.

Am posting this today (rather than on Friday as I previously intended) for reasons that are explained in the endnotes (don't read those first though or you'll get spoilered for the ending).

Title: An Heir And A Spare (The Extended Version) (Chapter 8/8) (AO3) Fandom: Loki (TV 2021), MCU Rating: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Sylvie, Sylvie/Thor Wordcount: ~5000 for this chapter (roughly 46,000 total) Additional Tags: Monarchies, Arranged Marriage, Consort Queens, Alternate Universe – Royalty, political machinations, bits of history shoved in with little regard for accuracy, Asgard (Marvel), discussion of (presumed) infertility, Adultery, Sex, (a lot of sex), (no like REALLY a lot), Babies, Children, Procreative Sex, Pregnancy, off-screen childbirth, Falling In Love, Secret Relationship, Kind of dark, Fucked Up, Bastards (both kinds), Sibling Rivalry, Thor Is A Good Bro (...mostly), Unfortunately Loki Is Not, Angst, Murder, Implied Knifeplay, not intended as an instruction manual for monarchies (nor as moral guidance) Summary: Queen Sylvie of Asgard is determined to gain influence in the monarchy she married into, and her best bet lies in providing an heir (and for preference a spare as well) for the royal family. Unfortunately, her husband hasn’t been much help on that front. Even more unfortunately, his brother just might be. On paper it’s only a half-terrible plan, but one bad idea often leads to another and it’s hard to keep secrets when some of those secrets have names and a place in the line of succession.

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From the next chapter of The Sylki Adultery AU I offer this fragment of filth (the last of the filth, actually, because things go rapidly downhill after this scene):

He looks up at her as he toys with the hem of her skirt. “May I?” he asks, using polite words to make a request that is bound to lead to obscenity. There’s no possibility of her refusing; she is so turned on that she is shaking. Her cheeks are ruddied pink and her breathing is loud and heavy. Her eyes close and there’s a hitch in her voice when she answers, “Oh, you absolutely may.”

This week’s word is…

✨ SHAKE ✨

(We’ll take both the noun and verb)

Find the word in any WIP and share the sentence containing it. Play however you want: reply, reblog, stick it in the tags, tag us in a new post, or keep it private.

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Yeah, I did finish chapter six. \o/ This one is a bit over 6000 words and brings two new tags to the tag-list, which are 'Murder' and 'Implied Knifeplay' so I will understand if you choose to nope out at this point because oh no it's getting a bit dark now. In a less-distressing turn of events, there is also an additional baby joining the family in this chapter. What a marvellous variety of happenings!

Only two more chapters to go after this! We're getting near the end now! At last!

Title: An Heir And A Spare (The Extended Version) (Chapter 6/8) (AO3) Fandom: Loki (TV 2021), MCU Rating: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Sylvie, Sylvie/Thor Wordcount: ~6,400 for this chapter (about 35,000 total so far) Additional Tags: Monarchies, Arranged Marriage, Consort Queens, Alternate Universe – Royalty, political machinations, bits of history shoved in with little regard for accuracy, Asgard (Marvel), discussion of (presumed) infertility, Adultery, Sex, (a lot of sex), (no like REALLY a lot), Babies, Children, Procreative Sex, Pregnancy, off-screen childbirth, Falling In Love, Secret Relationship, Kind of dark, Fucked Up, Bastards (both kinds), Sibling Rivalry, Thor Is A Good Bro (...mostly), Unfortunately Loki Is Not, Angst, Murder, Implied Knifeplay, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary: Queen Sylvie of Asgard is determined to gain influence in the monarchy she married into, and her best bet lies in providing an heir (and for preference a spare as well) for the royal family. Unfortunately, her husband hasn’t been much help on that front. Even more unfortunately, his brother just might be. On paper it’s only a half-terrible plan, but one bad idea often leads to another and it’s hard to keep secrets when some of those secrets have names and a place in the line of succession.

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not sure if i have writer's block or just writer's can't-be-bothered. i could probably finish that AU chapter if I could get going on it but i just ain't feeling it at the moment. some days are like that but i think the moral of the story is i should not have started posting something before it was finished (again). i have enthusiasm for later chapters but not for this one for some reason. might be related to the fact i had to split one chapter into two so some of this one feels ancient now and like i will never ever be finished with it. all the bits i thought were quite good are over familiar now, for a start. oh no.

but the sooner i get it done the sooner i can move on, so procrastinating it so much is just dragging out the weariness for me. i need the spark of joy back! i neeeeed it!

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I have to be up tomorrow for Important RL Stuff but despite that (probably because of that) I have finished writing the final chapter of that fic so I will post that on idk Friday or something? How long do people usually want to wait between chapters of things? I never write anything long enough to have chapters and cliffhangers and such so I want to wallow in the novelty of that while I can. But I don't want to annoy people by making them wait if they don't have to. So someone needs to tell me what to do with this thing, thanks in advance.

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The penultimate chapter appears! Approx 5800 words. There's a bit of angst, some pornography, and the end of this part probably qualifies as a cliffhanger. This is the last chapter with any sex in it so I tried to make it extra-filthy as a 'last hurrah' sort of thing but the whole fic has been rated E so if you've made it this far that's not going to shock you.

I'm so near to the end of this fic! I might actually manage to get there! And then I can read the whole thing at last!

Title: An Heir And A Spare (The Extended Version) (Chapter 7/8) (AO3) Fandom: Loki (TV 2021), MCU Rating: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Sylvie, Sylvie/Thor Wordcount: ~5,800 for this chapter (about 41,000 total so far) Additional Tags: Monarchies, Arranged Marriage, Consort Queens, Alternate Universe – Royalty, political machinations, bits of history shoved in with little regard for accuracy, Asgard (Marvel), discussion of (presumed) infertility, Adultery, Sex, (a lot of sex), (no like REALLY a lot), Babies, Children, Procreative Sex, Pregnancy, off-screen childbirth, Falling In Love, Secret Relationship, Kind of dark, Fucked Up, Bastards (both kinds), Sibling Rivalry, Thor Is A Good Bro (...mostly), Unfortunately Loki Is Not, Angst, Murder, Implied Knifeplay, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary: Queen Sylvie of Asgard is determined to gain influence in the monarchy she married into, and her best bet lies in providing an heir (and for preference a spare as well) for the royal family. Unfortunately, her husband hasn’t been much help on that front. Even more unfortunately, his brother just might be. On paper it’s only a half-terrible plan, but one bad idea often leads to another and it’s hard to keep secrets when some of those secrets have names and a place in the line of succession.

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I did indeed just need to sit down and glue all the bits together to finish this chapter of The AU, what a shock there, eh?

Chapter 5 is a bit under 6000 words and contains a certain amount of filth because a) the plot demands it and b) why the hell not? There is an important Emotional Bit in the middle that changes some things from this point on, and then at the end things took a bit of a turn that I wasn't expecting when I started working on this chapter. I hope I haven't fucked things up for myself futher along. As the total thus posted is now 29k words, I have gone well past my previous highest ever wordcount and yes I am pleased about that. \o/ There are 3 chapters to go after this one, so we're into the second half now!

The Chapter Summary: An important (and rather overdue) conversation takes place; Sylvie is given a necklace; Loki offers his beloved brother some (possibly misguided) advice.

Title: An Heir And A Spare (The Extended Version) (Chapter 5/8) (AO3) Fandom: Loki (TV 2021), MCU Rating: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Sylvie, Sylvie/Thor Wordcount: ~5,900 for this chapter (29,000 total so far) Additional Tags: Monarchies, Arranged Marriage, Consort Queens, Alternate Universe – Royalty, political machinations, bits of history shoved in with little regard for accuracy, Asgard (Marvel), discussion of (presumed) infertility, Adultery, Sex, (a lot of sex), (no like REALLY a lot), Babies, Children, Procreative Sex, Pregnancy, off-screen childbirth, Falling In Love, Secret Relationship, Kind of dark, Fucked Up, Bastards (both kinds), Sibling Rivalry, Thor Is A Good Bro (...mostly), Unfortunately Loki Is Not, Angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary: Queen Sylvie of Asgard is determined to gain influence in the monarchy she married into, and her best bet lies in providing an heir (and for preference a spare as well) for the royal family. Unfortunately, her husband hasn’t been much help on that front. Even more unfortunately, his brother just might be. On paper it’s only a half-terrible plan, but one bad idea often leads to another and it’s hard to keep secrets when some of those secrets have names and a place in the line of succession.

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me: time to sleep for a bit

my brain: hey. hey, you know that fic you're writing?

me: shh, brain, not now.

my brain: right, so, that scene you were stuck on

me: LATER, BRAIN

my brain: i've thought of a way to make it angstier

me: ...damn

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Just to check: does the following read like the cheap pun it is or does it just look like an odd typo?

(and anyway servants are simply far too beneath him to have beneath him)

Because I know which it's supposed so I can't tell how it'd read if I didn't know :S

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Wooo, I unexpectedly finished Chapter 4 of The AU! Which is now Chapter 4 of 8 rather than of 7, because the chapter as planned got too long so I decided to split it in two.

This bit is fairly angsty but there is some filth in it too, which means it is a perfectly balanced work of fanfiction. If there was a Spotify playlist for this chapter it would just be the chorus of that Ace of Base song about how "all that she wants is another baby" on repeat. Also at 23,000 words this fic is now officially the longest thing I have ever written in my life :O

The Chapter Summary is thus: The matter of the succession has been settled, right? Nope! Because Sylvie still needs that ‘spare’ and now she knows who to ask to help her make one. (You want your fake heirs to match in the looks department, right? Of course you do.)

Title: An Heir And A Spare (The Extended Version) (Chapter 4/8) (AO3) Fandom: Loki (TV 2021), Thor (Movies), MCU Rating: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Sylvie, Sylvie/Thor Wordcount: ~5,500 for this chapter (18,000 total so far) Additional Tags: Monarchies, Arranged Marriage, Consort Queens, Alternate Universe – Royalty, political machinations, bits of history shoved in with little regard for accuracy, Asgard (Marvel), discussion of (presumed) infertility, Adultery, Sex, (a lot of sex), (no like REALLY a lot), Babies, Children, Procreative Sex, Pregnancy, off-screen childbirth, Falling In Love, Secret Relationship, Kind of dark, Fucked Up, Bastards (both kinds), Sibling Rivalry, Thor Is A Good Bro (...mostly), Unfortunately Loki Is Not, Angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary: Queen Sylvie of Asgard is determined to gain influence in the monarchy she married into, and her best bet lies in providing an heir (and for preference a spare as well) for the royal family. Unfortunately, her husband hasn’t been much help on that front. Even more unfortunately, his brother just might be. On paper it’s only a half-terrible plan, but one bad idea often leads to another and it’s hard to keep secrets when some of those secrets have names and a place in the line of succession.

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overly-long self-indulgent fic wip that caters to my own niche interests, my beloved

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Working on The AU and I think I'm gonna have to cut chapter four in two because it may end up being far too long otherwise. So possibly it's an 8-part fic instead of a 7-part one. I know where I'd put the break though, and it might be better if all the stuff in the chapter was spread out a bit anyway. It's mostly just Important-To-The-Plot Filth but maybe the reader would appreciate a break in the middle of all that porn to properly digest all the meaning and the metaphors that they're obviously reading this work of highly pornographic fanfiction for.

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I finished Chapter 3 of the AU! Blimey, this one was a bit of a struggle at times. But here it is and now I can move on to the next chapter and start being annoyed at it instead!

The Chapter Summary is thus: The ever-so-important baby is finally born and Loki starts to wonder if there are maybe (possibly, perhaps) one or two more downsides to this plan than he thought there’d be back when he first suggested it. (SPOILER: There are.)

Title: An Heir And A Spare (The Extended Version) (Chapter 3/7) (AO3) Fandom: Loki (TV 2021), Thor (Movies), MCU Rating: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Sylvie, Sylvie/Thor Wordcount: ~5,500 for this chapter (18,000 total so far) Additional Tags: Monarchies, Arranged Marriage, Consort Queens, Alternate Universe – Royalty, political machinations, bits of history shoved in with little regard for accuracy, Asgard (Marvel), discussion of (presumed) infertility, Adultery, Sex, (a lot of sex), (no like REALLY a lot), Babies, Children, Procreative Sex, Pregnancy, off-screen childbirth, Falling In Love, Secret Relationship, Kind of dark, Fucked Up, Bastards (both kinds), Sibling Rivalry, Thor Is A Good Bro (...mostly), Unfortunately Loki Is Not, Angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary: Queen Sylvie of Asgard is determined to gain influence in the monarchy she married into, and her best bet lies in providing an heir (and for preference a spare as well) for the royal family. Unfortunately, her husband hasn’t been much help on that front. Even more unfortunately, his brother just might be. On paper it’s only a half-terrible plan, but one bad idea often leads to another and it’s hard to keep secrets when some of those secrets have names and a place in the line of succession.

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I am at 1000 words for today!!! All on the same fic as well!!

I thought Chapter 2 was going to be noticably shorter than Chapter 1 but the half-fleshed skeleton that it currently is (erm, I mean some of it is Actual Prose and some of it's just notes) has passed 5000 words now so maybe not? It only has 4 scenes in it and yet??

Also I am telling myself that if I try to make some sort of point of Nameless Female "Character" With No Lines being seen as unimportant by the men that will make it okay that I have left her nameless and with no lines. Blame the toxic masculinity, not the me!!!

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I have written almost 700 words of the AU today! And that's just the increase in wordcount, in a way it's more than that become some lines were already typed up but I have put them into proper prose like they need to be if I am ever to be able to post it!

\o/

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navel-gazing numbers (and a lot of swears)

Having at last finished the sylki adultery AU/my longestest fic I can now present you with STATISTICS:

The word 'cunt' is used 15 times, always anatomically, which averages to about one cunt per 3000 words which is probably about how often I use it in E-rated fics otherwise.

There are, however, only 7 'cock's in the entire tale. Yes, I was surprised too!

And there are but 16 uses of 'fuck' and its variants, which seems pretty fucking low if you ask me.

It depends how you count it but there are at most 10 sex scenes and some of them are fade-to-black/fade-from-black so may not really count and for this and other reasons it turns out to be harder to add up these things than you'd expect D:

It's also hard to count the number of murders, as there's definitely some convenient deaths happening off-screen but do I include those or not?

So - ALAS - I have led you all a merry dance in previous posts and cannot actually provide an accurate sex-to-murders ratio for this fic despite my earlier promises :(

2 of 8 chapters have no sex in them. I expect those installlments are disappointing for many readers but just as the sex is there because it's important plot-related shagging the other chapters are there because they are important shagging-related plot. I am an ARTISTE, this is my VISION, and if you don't like that then... well, sorry, I suppose :(

Did you know the word 'queen' is from the same root as the word 'cunt'? Because I used 'queen' 68 times. The fact that the word 'king' appears over 200 times is an imbalance that I am absolutely going to pretend was a deliberate commentary on the nature of patriarchial monarchy and solid proof that when you look at it from that perspective all the adulterous sex was in fact fully justified and why are you blaming them for being immoral when the world itself is so immoral and oppressive? Those as-many-as-10 sex scenes were THE MORAL HIGH GROUND ACTUALLY.