#the super nice and long one is from my manager for sure cus no one else is that nice LOL

[kakujis]

sweet like cinnamon;

warnings: afab!reader, established relationship, blood kink, dacryphilia, soft!yan baji, pet names(baby, kitten, pretty girl), mentions of stalking and violence.

summary: baji would rather u stay home for the weekend and sinks his teeth in when you don't.♡

wc: 2.8k, not proofread per usual

an: here's my entry for @saecore's dc collab! this was so much fun!!!! honestly... i couldn't bring myself to write a mean!baji cus i think he's actually really really sweet as yan uwu. he's only a lil mean. just a bit. one of these days i'll write out the super mean baji of my dreams but not today!!!

when keisuke baji finally managed to have you in the palm of his hand, he thought that he had it all. finally, after years of trying he could keep you all to himself. but he realized quite quickly that he still wasn’t your very first priority. 

“it’s just a little weekend trip kei, i’ll be back by monday!” you had told him, exasperated. you ignored his grumbling, continuing to pack your things. it was a small two day get together with your friends that you hadn’t seen since you started college. sure, most people spend summer break with their significant other, but the two of you had the rest of the season together. a measly two days couldn’t hurt. that’s what you thought anyway, but your boyfriend kept grumbling disagreements, noting that he had been missing you too. 

through many kisses and sweet words you managed to convince him. “keisuke,” you mumbled against his lips, “i promise we’ll spend the rest of summer together, okay?” 

and he had agreed, head stuck in the heat of the moment as the two of you grinded against each other. he was still agreeing, minutes later, when he was buried to the hilt within you, drowning in the whimpers of his name. even when you two were finished, his softening cock still inside you, he agreed. 

so why was he so fucking angry? don’t fall back into bad habits, keisuke. he thought, pacing around your shared apartment. he was different now, he had you, he didn’t need to follow you around anymore. he was done stalking through alleyways to beat anyone within an inch of their life if they so much as looked at you. you were safe as long as he was around. ah, that’s the problem isn’t it? that he wasn’t going to be around on your little trip. 

it had been exactly 12 hours since you had left that morning. “see you later, baby!” you pressed your lips to his cheek, before you ran off waving. he watched how excited you were, jumping into your friend’s car. something about it made his hand twitch and his heart hurt. maybe he was reaching his limit. 

was it really not enough for him just to be your boyfriend? he knew, deep down, it wasn’t. he wanted to keep you safe within his grasp. did you even think about how dangerous it’d be at night? 

“keii, please, it’s a cabin… it’s safe.” you whined out  the night before, “besides.. i’ll be with my friends!” he shot you a look, irritated and unbelieving, because really that was your best excuse? you quickly  responded, “and i’ll even text you when i get there!” 

you kept your promise, the familiar ding! in his pocket alerting him that you got there safely. he had tried to distract himself earlier today, heading over to chifuyu’s place to hang out for the day. his friend tried to reason with him, you were having fun with your friends. he likened it to when toman would get together, since everyone became so busy with their lives they never had time to meet up. but baji liked toman. he didn’t like your friends that took up your time away from him. maybe it was insecurity, the fact that he couldn’t hurt them the way he hurt others, you’d be sad and he doesn’t want that. but the less you responded to his texts the more antsy he got. 

so antsy that he was driving straight to your location on his bike. it would’ve been a nice night ride, the breeze cool on his face, if  his adrenaline wasn’t going haywire, if the blood in his ears wasn’t pumping wildly with this sickly sticky feeling caught in his chest. 

it was a quiet, cozy sight. cabins set in nice manicured rows with dimly lit porch lights. honestly, maybe he should rent one of these out and take you up here himself. sticking his hands in his pockets, he silently moved across the site til he came across your cabin. now he just had to find you. 

peering through the open back window, making a mental note to scold you later, he saw you. laid there on the bed, flat on your stomach, feet up in the air and giggling as you sent “sorry for the late response,” texts. you were cute, wearing a shirt way too big for you, which was obviously keisuke’s, and pajama shorts. 

alright, you’re safe and settled. there’s no reason for him to stay any longer and yet he’s climbing in through your window. the inherent need to be with you over taking any earlier self doubts. he strides over and covers your mouth before you can scream, your body half turned from the noise of his boots hitting the floor. 

he lets go of you, and you fall limp on the bed as he moves over to lock the door. you stare at your boyfriend as he analyzes your room, checking the door knob, the lock, even crouching down to see if the planks were loose. with your eyes wide and mouth agape, you’re sure that if your jaw could’ve hit the ground it would’ve. 

“keisuke, what the fuck?” you whisper, trying to keep your voice down. he glances at you, confusion etching across his face. 

“whatcha mean kitten? i’m just checking up on you.” he says, climbing back up to sit on your bed. there’s concern lacing through his face, even a small pout since that wasn’t really the reception he wanted. 

“by breaking into my room? you couldn’t have like, called me or something?” you sit up now, legs crossed as you face him. there’s… no way he doesn’t see an issue with this, right? you scan his face, looking for anything, something that would indicate he knew this was… strange. 

but he doesn’t see an issue at all, too focused on trailing your body, the way his shirt just barely covers over your thighs, soft and plush and so inviting. something in his eyes changes, something dark and needy. he rests a hand on your thigh, before leaning closer, nose nuzzling yours. 

it’s annoying how easy you crumble to him, already whimpering as his hand traces delicate circles on your thigh. you try your best to resist, leaning back on your elbows as he inches towards you, but eventually you’re trapped underneath him with your head up against the headboard. 

“just missed you s’all,” he breathes, pressing soft kisses to your jawline. “what about you pretty girl? you miss me?” his hand trails up further, pressing up against your clothed cunt. 

you suck in a breath, “i-it hasn’t even been a day, kei.” you shouldn’t give in, you should ignore him for doing this and yet you’re already slightly grinding into his hand that’s slipped it’s way into your shorts, your clit caught between his fingers. 

“don’t care,” he drawls, moving down to lick a stripe up your neck. he latches on, sucking a bright red hickey onto your skin. you mewl as two thick fingers enter you, massaging your gummy walls. he uses his other hand to push your shirt up, palming at one of your tits.

“off.” he commands, pulling off slightly to give you some room. he watches your shaky hands, continuing to roll his fingers into your dripping cunt, stretching you open, as you pull the fabric off over your head. he taps at your shorts with his other hand, one brow raised when you hesitate and suddenly you’re scramble to take those off as well, struggling with his hand working in and out of you. you bite back a particularly loud moan when you bring your knees up to slip your shorts off, feeling his fingers press in just a little deeper than before. 

there’s something different about his demeanor tonight, something that he just can’t shake. so he finds purchase on your neck again and you gasp as his fangs lightly graze against your skin. there was always a little voice in the back of his head, a sort of urging, especially whenever you two fucked to sink his teeth into your flesh. he’s felt it before, after each fight he’s been in, the scent of blood has always gone straight to his cock, but he’s always wondered just what does your blood taste like. 

he gives in to that voice and bites, his fangs prickling little holes in your skin. he knew it, you taste heavenly, a saccharine liquid enveloping his buds. should’ve done this sooner, he thinks, way sooner. 

“ah!”  you almost scream, biting so hard on your fist you almost draw blood there as well. you push at him with your hands, tears welling up in your eyes. keisuke was rough, you knew this from the dozens of marks he’s left on you before, but he’s never drawn blood. 

he withdraws, face flushed as he laps up the wound one more time. he slips his fingers out of you, tugging off his sweatpants and shirt, his leaky cock already dripping with precum.

“kei,” you sniffle, “that hurt.” with shaky hands you press against the mark, wincing at the sting. but keisuke can’t hear you, too focused on the wanton need of his throbbing cock.

he grabs his shirt, balling it up and bringing it to your mouth. “gotta be quiet baby, i don’t want your friends to hear us,” he growls, auburn eyes burning into you. he’s thinks he’s doing them a favor because if they interrupted he’s not sure how well he’d be able to restrain himself. you do as your told and clamp down, tears already starting to stain his cotton shirt. he’s right, you’re not sure how well you’d be able to explain your boyfriend sneaking into your get together. 

he wipes one tear away with his thumb gently before he’s settling himself in between your legs, his tip coated in precum as he slides between your folds. he groans lowly when he notices a trickle of crimson running down your throat and he realizes he can still taste you on his lips. you already look so pretty, flushed and crying all for him. 

he hooks one leg up over his shoulder as he sinks down into your pussy. you moan as he pushes deeper, inch by inch into your twitching walls. he bites down hard on your shoulder blade as he bottoms out, coaxing sweet drops of blood into his mouth. it’s strange, the mix of pleasure and pain makes your head feel dizzy. 

keisuke tries his best to start slow, he doesn’t wanna hurt you anymore than he is now, but fuck do you feel good. he swears you taste like honey as he suckles harder, his cock bullying your cunt with each thrust of his hips. you claw at his back, nails digging and scratching pretty red lines along his skin. the sting of his bite starts feeling oddly good, so much so that you’re arching your body up closer to his touch. 

god, you hope your friends are asleep because even with your mouth stuffed you’re fucking loud. his flushed and leaking tip kisses your sweet spot with each thrust, as he finds new places to mark again and again. it drives him insane, coppery ichor flooding his tongue while it drips down your body staining the sheets below. he’s always wanted to ruin you for anyone else, mold your cunt to his cock, and with the way that you’re clenching and crying he’s probably doing just that. it sends shivers down his spine that you’re so fragile, malleable even. 

he shifts up to lick at your tears, salty clear liquid muddying with the cherry from his mouth as he peppers kisses on your cheek. “taste so fuckin’ good, you still with me baby?” he grunts, each slam of his hips pulling out a whiny moan from you. you whimper out an “mhm” with a slight nod of your head, glassy, unfocused eyes meeting his. he pulls his shirt out, a small bit of drool falling from your lips, wanting to hear your little hiccups and gasps. 

“so fuckin’ pretty when you cry,” he grins, lips smeared red, nails digging into your thigh as he pushes it down further, his cock reaching deeper than before. “so fuckin’ cute takin’ my cock, huh?” his praise runs straight through your head, and he knows, feeling the slight twitch of your pussy.

“fuck, fuck, fuck!” you sob, each thrust of his hips has your eyes rolling back. “feels s-so good, kei, i wanna cum..” you look at him through fluttery, tear-coated lashes, puffy lips babbling and gasping. he leans in, thrusting his tongue against yours, at best a shoddy attempt to quiet you, and you can taste yourself on his tongue. you’re not sure how to feel about it, not that you can really think too hard about it, caught up on the fullness of his cock. 

keisuke’s too sweet and too in love to not give you what you want, his fingers slowly rubbing sticky circles on your clit. it’s just barely not enough, but the position he’s keeping you leaves you unable to grind back against him. he’ll get you there, but there’s just one thing he wants to hear as you unfold.

“you belong to me, right?” he asks with a small tilt of his head, scarlet tinted fangs flashing as he smiles, seeing you nod frantically. “then say it, kitten.” 

“i-i belong to you, keisuke,” you answer, breathless and needy, “to you and only you.” 

“that’s right,” he hums, picking up the pace of not just his fingers, but his hips, each slap of skin getting you to mewl even louder, “all fuckin’ mine.” 

“‘m cumming, kei, i’m-“  you slur, eyes rolling back one final time as you cream on his cock, entire body shaking. “fuck,” you whimper out and he follows not too long after with a snarl, hips stuttering with sticky, white cum painting your walls as your cunt tries to milk every drop. 

his head drops as he pants, hips finally still. you giggle when his pretty dark locks tickle your face. “keisuke, my leg!” you groan due to the burn of your hip. “why do you always gotta stretch me so far?” you pout, pushing and kicking your boyfriend with your good leg off and out of you. 

he backs off with a fake yelp, smile beaming with pearly white fangs as he brings his hands up in a fake apology. he moves to get dressed as you rub your hip, slowly bringing it back down into a resting position. you wipe off the rest  of your tears, shifting a bit, trying to find your discarded shorts and underwear when you hear a familiar zip. you look over to see keisuke shoving your other clothes back into your weekender bag, before he lugs it over his shoulder and throws it out through the window. 

“keisuke, what the fuck?” you hiss for the second time that night. he ignores you this time, walking over, clothes in hand to help you dress. his mother always taught him to help a lady out when she needed it. “are you just gonna ignore me?” 

he does, instead helping you shimmy your shorts back on, a pleased hum when your shirt falls back over your body. while it covers the marks he left on your shoulders and chest, he can still see the ones left on your neck. good, he thinks, you look the best marked up and all his anyway. he rubs his thumb over your pretty lips which you kiss as you look up with pretty, hazy eyes, making him fight the urge to take you again. 

he grabs your hands, slowly pulling you up on your feet. your legs feel a little like jelly and the ache from his marks is starting to kick in so you wobble into him, draping your arms over his shoulders. 

“alright, let’s go.” 

“go where?” you ask, waiting for any type of answer, as you lean against him. 

he picks you up, “home, dummy. you’ve been with your friends for too long.”  he nuzzles his nose into your cheek as he saunters towards the window. “besides,” he breathes, pressing his tongue against one of your marks. “i wasn’t done playing with you yet.” 

you shiver, face heating up at the implication. you spare a glance at the bed, well, it doesn’t look like a murder scene, but there’s definitely smeared blood on there. your cunt twitches, full, but not nearly enough, at the thought of him drawing blood again and maybe you don’t mind ditching your trip. you can hear your phone blowing up in baji’s pocket, but you ignore it, you can answer them in the morning. 

[calpicowater]

Week 7/52: February 14th - February 20th 2022 | Work Love Notes 💌

For Valentine’s Day, my work is doing “Love Notes” which is when people can write anonymous notes and compliments to other people in the company. I like the concept a lot because it reminds me a lot of UofA Compliments (we rarely wrote compliments to each other except once during 4th year) but I did not expect to receive any because I am a nobody lmao. But very grateful for these nice words from my managers/supervisors/coworker(s). The Coco one is ?????? I’m just as confused as you are LOOOOL. It made my day!

[wutheringmights]

I can't bring myself to read ctb cus it sounds so thoroughly angsty but based off of what I've heard from following you the mental image of the chain showing up at Spirit's hyrule and him opening his door and seeing all of them, and then locking eyes with Warriors before slamming the door closed just popped into my head and I thought you'd like to hear about it

You're pretty close to the right idea, but I propose that Spirit would be 100 times pettier and more bitter than just slamming a door.

Unsurprisingly, I have had a few ideas of how a present day Warriors and the Chain meeting of Spirit would go, and I think the one I vibe with the most is this:

The Chain arrives in New Hyrule and Warriors realizes immediately that this can only go badly

So what he needs to do is get to Spirit before everyone else to do some damage control

Meanwhile Time realizes that Spirit can potentially reveal that Time has been lying by omission about being the child, so he needs to get to Spirit before everyone else to do some damage control

Both Time and Warriors have different ideas as to where Spirit could be and are both suspiciously amendable to splitting up the team to check different places

Time thinks he has the best idea and takes a train to where everyone says is the town where the Royal Engineer lives (which is not in Castle Town)

Warriors meanwhile remembers that Spirit was dating Zelda, and is 100% certain that Spirit is in Castle Town somewhere, if not the castle itself

Warriors's is correct; there seems to be some kind of ball happening at the castle tonight, which is a perfect event for the Royal Engineer and boyfriend of the princess to attend

And he's the only one on his team with nice enough clothes to reasonably pass as a noble, which means he can leave everyone else behind and get one-on-one time with Spirit

Meanwhile, Spirit is Not Having a Good Time Right Now

He and Zelda broke up a couple of years ago so (he didn't want to be the prince consort), and neither of them are really having a lot of luck getting over each other

As an honorary member of the Castle Guard and Zelda's bodyguard, he keeps on having to attend these fancy events where he has to watch other people flirt with the woman he is still deeply in love with

Needless to say, he's already in a bad mood.

With a lot of people in one room, his spirit senses are a little muddled and it's taking all his concentration just to track Zelda, but he keeps on picking up a spirit he hasn't felt in a very, very long time

A spirit that makes him feel like he's burning up

But there's so many people here that he's not sure. Plus he always thinks he senses Warriors nearby when his anxiety spikes up, so this is easy to write off as a trick of the mind

So Spirit is a bit distracted when a hand grabs his elbow and turns him around

And it's him

The captain

And Warriors knows from the start that this was going to go bad, so he immediately restrains him and pulls him into an alcove to talk

The problem is that the moment he releases Spirit so that they can converse, Spirit shouts for help

And that catches Warriors off guard so badly that Spirit manages to break free and draw his sword

And they fight

Spirit is fairly ruthless towards Warriors, so when the fight spills back into the ballroom, it ruins the whole party and the Castle Guard has to step in.

Warriors is arrested for trespassing and assault

(Spirit also smacks a treason charge on there just to be petty)

So Warriors gets thrown into the maximum security cell of the castle dungeon

The rest of Warriors's team realizes what happened and have to go get Time and the others so that they can plan a heist to rescue him

Luckily, Time and his team is already on his way back; they were told the moment they arrived at the engineer's workshop that Spirit was at the castle

Everyone has these giant heist plans for how to break Warriors out, but Time says he knows who to talk to about getting Warriors released

Everyone else is super confused, but starting to piece together that there is Something Going On Here

And you can decide from there how this pans out. What do Spirit and Warriors talk about while Warriors is arrested? How does Time's confrontation with Spirit go?

A shorter idea is that they just walk into Spirit's garage while he's there, and Spirit throws a wrench at Warriors's head

[knowltonsrangers]

forever

[a/n: nothing but our boy George and absolute sweet nonsense.]

TURN!George Washington x Reader

George isn’t entirely sure how you’ve managed to get him to where he currently resides, but if he was being completely honest with himself, he was loving every moment of it.

The room smells of warm vanilla candle that you’ve lit, and then a more pungent fruit-mingled smells coming from the clay mask that spread across your soft cheeks. Painting your face pink, Washington finds himself breathing out his deep laugh as you brush the last glob of mask across your forehead.

“What’s so funny?”

Washington himself is leaning in the doorway to the bathroom, watching your nightly routine as he always does. It brings an immense amount of joy as he gets to know your schedule by heart, and when you go to wash the sticky-substance off your hands, he watches as you turn to meet him.

“Nothing, my love. Just curious as to what you are doing.”

“A face mask, because I haven’t done one in a while.”

“A face mask?”

“This one is for de-stressing.”

You pick up the bottle and walk across the tiled floor to show him, dropping it in his outstretched palm. His eyes carefully roam over the front, seemingly enticed by the text, when he finally gets your jab.

“Are you saying that I need this?”

“I’m not saying that you need it, no. I am merely suggesting that it may be good for you.”

Shuffling away, back to the mirror, he watches as your nose twitches from the now hardening mask.

“It smells of—what, lemons?”

“Yeah!”

“Shouldn’t that burn you, instead of soothe you?”

“Lemons can be calming!”

Now George’s nose wrinkles.

“They are bitter…that does not sound very relaxing.”

“C’mere,”

He obliges, crossing the floor in two, long strides. It appears he’ll have to take your word for it, because you’ve taken the bottle out of his hand and set it back on the counter.

“Here, sit.”

Once more, without a moments hesitation, the tall man sits on the edge of the tub, and you follow close behind. Flipping open the tube, you squeeze some out into your clean palm.

“It’s not super strong, I promise. The lemon won’t burn you.”

It takes a lot of willpower to not immediately melt under your careful touch. Washington adores it when you run the pads of your fingers down his cheeks, brushing away worry and anxiety like nobody’s business.

The mask is cold and somewhat bumpy, but he suddenly understands the appeal. It does feel rather nice, and he’s sure it only feels that way because you’re applying it, but he’d have to test that theory out later.

“We should do this together. It’s so much fun,”

Your thumb runs over his nose, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t wipe that so-in-love smile off his face.

“Mhm,”

“Is it bothering you, George?”

“No, not at all.”

With you between his long legs, he loops his arms around your torso so they settle on your hips. He’s enjoying being so close to your face, watching as your eyelashes flutter and pupils darting this way and that.

“You look so handsome.”

It’s hard for you to wipe the smile off your face now, feeling the thrum of your own heartbeat loudly in your ears.

“Mhm…what? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

Now, that’s not like him, but you can’t help but agree with the situation that currently was at hand.

“It’s so nice to see you so relaxed, George,”

His curiosity piqued once more, he leans forward a bit so he can match your gaze. There’s something in his eyes, but you glance down one more time to swipe the last bit of mask on his chin, and by the time you look back, it’s gone.

“I am starting to enjoy this ‘face mask’ idea.”

His deep baritone voice is enough to get you to lean forward, a small, sweet kiss dropping on his lips.

“Good. You deserve to de-stress.”

If anything, George looked a little offended that you had pulled away so quickly.

Still gentle, the man moves his arms from your hips to under your legs, hoisting you effortlessly on to his lap.

“Thank you,”

He says, holding your back with one warm palm, the other comes to cup your chin gently. Mindful of your still-drying mask, he swoops in and kisses you with a little more fervor.

“You actually do seem a little bit more de-stressed.”

You mumble against his lips, careful not to bump his nose as the mask was still drying. He laughs against yours, smiling kindly as he motions to agree.

“But I don’t think the mask gets all the credit.”

Standing, with you still in his arms, he carries you over to the sink counter where he deposits you, gently. But remains between your legs, hands on either side of you, leaning down once more to steal a kiss.

“Ngh, we should probably wipe them off.”

Placing a hand on his chest, you pull away, but you do not hide your reluctance in doing so.

“Here,”

Noticing your face cloth you’ve set aside, he runs it under warm water and cradles your face in his empty hand.

Carefully, he drags the cloth down your cheeks, then across your forehead. It’s so hard to not laugh, watching as his stoic face contorts into stilled determination.

“Then allow me,”

You insist, wringing the cloth out after slipping it from his large hands, running it back under the warm tap before reaching up to hold his jaw.

“Are you completely relaxed yet?”

“You are very funny, y/n.”

“I try, just for you.”

Wiping the clay away from his face, you can’t help but admire his facial features. His high cheekbones, strong jaw, and dazzling blue-grey eyes, his stern but sweet personality always made your heart flutter in your chest.

“Mhm. What do you think? We make this a nightly routine?”

You say mindlessly, still brushing the mask away.

“If it is okay with you, it is perfect.”

How honorable of him to think he’s infringing on your nightly routine, but if anything, he’s making it a million times better. Any time spent with him was well spent.

“Don’t be silly, of course it’s okay. More than okay.”

“Good,”

The silence that falls is welcome and once all the mask remains have been wiped away, you lean back to catch his smile.

“All done.”

“Thank you. Now it’s time we both got some rest, yes?”

You nod, not expecting him by any means to toss you over his shoulder, you yelping in surprise at the swift motion.

“Hey!”

“Good night, y/n.”

You simply can’t help but relax to his touch, smiling like a love sick fool as he sets you into bed.

“Good night.”

[tag list: @meganlpie 💕 @spooky-blank-slate 💕]

[starkeristheendgame]

okay so i just got my first ever massage today and holy crap it was so sensual. and i was wondering if you could write something where like tony’s had so many massages in his life that he knows where the best spots are and peter is stressed cus of college or whatever and tony gives him a massage and peter cums just from tony giving him a back massage.

Ooohhh, yes! I’m not one for massages personally because I kinda hate being touched by people I don’t know, especially like that, but I’ve given a few to friends and received a few from past lovers, so I hope this is to your liking! Thank you so so much for the prompt! I added a little dry humping in this, too, because cumming just from a spinal massage seemed a lil too unrealistic.

Super healing was all well and good, but Tony knew well enough that it didn’t mean the absence of pain. He’d been around Steve long enough to know that in some cases, it even amplified it. What was feeling your bones and muscles stretching for each other if not painful?

Watching Peter wince and reach for his lower back for the fourth time since they holed themselves up in the lab, Tony knew the answer. The kid had taken a pretty decent battering on the field - No broken bones, but plenty of taut, aching muscles.

“Hey, kid” Tony called, setting down the holo-pen he was using and motioning for Peter to join him. The boy moved happily but gingerly, overcareful of stretching too much as he bounded over to Tony’s side.

“Yes, Mr. Stark?”

“You doing okay? You’re creaking more than I do”. Tony had just began to come to terms with the fact that his age unfortunately hadn’t slowed down. He was verging on fifty, greying at the temples and finding it harder and harder after each battle. He was by no means unfit, but age was unkind to even superheroes.

“I’m fine, Mr. Stark. Just kinda twinges a little” Peter shrugged, and visibly regretted it. Tony cast the kid a pointed look, and he deflated slightly. “Okay. So...It kinda does suck. But only a little! Like, a day or two and I’ll be fine. Hot baths help, too”.

Tony gave a considering hum and reached up to rub at his jaw. “What about massages?” He asked, and Peter blinked at him.

“What, like...Some stranger rubbing you all over while you wear nothing but a towel?”

Tony huffed a laugh. “I don;t know what porn you’re watching, kid, but the majority of places ask you to wear your underwear or a bathing suit”. Peter went a pretty shade of dusky pink, eyes flitting anywhere but Tony’s face as he died a little inside.

“Uh. Well. No to either. Both! I mean...I’ve never had a massage. Its just a little weird, isn’t it? And expensive” Peter rambled, gesturing meekly. Tony supposed it was a little strange, but he was also not ill-advised of the merits of a skilled masseuse.

“Cm’ere” Tony coaxed, motioning Peter closer. The boy frowned a little, but was mostly curious as he stepped forwards, and Tony grasped him by a lithe shoulder, turning him until the kid was facing away from him, and Tony could see the smooth lines of his back through his shirt.

He reached up and set his hands on Peter’s shoulders, brows furrowing as he carefully felt about the honed muscles. God, but Peter was tense. Not coiled like a spring, but he definitely wasn’t lax as Tony pressed his thumbs gently into the meat of his shoulder. Peter jolted in surprise but visibly forced himself to relax as Tony began to knead at him, and after several moments, let out a soft sound.

“Huh. That’s...Not so bad” Peter admitted, when Tony was digging into the space between his shoulders, paddling out the tension across his spine there. Tony gave a light smile and a hum, to show that he was listening to him.

“You feel like someone just caught you jacking off, kid” he chuckled, and then paused. Perhaps...Not the greatest choice in words, and he hurried to wipe them from immediate existence. “I know you got pretty beat up out there, yesterday. How about I book you in with my guy, huh? You can see him whenever you feel too...Tense”.

“I don’t know, Mr. Stark. I mean, I don’t think I want some stranger feeling me up” Peter replied, but it was quiet, distracted as Tony let his hands dip a little lower, to the point where his spine began to broaden out into shoulderblades, pawing at the meat and bone.

“Have a think about it” Tony urged, thumbs pressing against the dip of Peter’s spinal cord, and the boy gave a muffled, sharp sound. Tony almost, almost paused, but he knew pleasure when he heard it, and continued wordlessly. And he was kind of glad he did, because when he took the selfish opportunity to run his hands down Peter’s spine, the kid truly did feel like he’d been tazed or something.

“Jesus, kid” Tony whuffed, petting gently at the locked up muscles. Peter ducked his head and then looked over his shoulder at Tony, almost shyly. Tony greeted him with a small smile and let his knuckles graze the delicate outline of the boy’s spine, not enough to really do enough except indulge himself.

“Alright, here. Sit on this chair, facing the back” Tony instructed, motioning to his abandoned stool. It had a sloped back, and Peter twisted, moving cautiously but clearly interested to see where this was going to do. He took a moment to psych himself up as he watched Peter splay those toned, lithe thighs around the chair, watched the shirt hug his back when he leaned forwards.

But Tony was nothing if not a pleaser, and he stepped forwards, waggling his fingers and then driving the heels of his palms against the small of his back. Peter made another of those soft little noises, and Tony offered a smirk, brows furrowing as he focused on mapping the lines of Peter’s body, each slope and curve and each battered muscle.

Somewhere along the five minute mark, Peter’s head was lolling and on every other press of Tony’s hands he was uttering pleasured, sighed little sounds. It sang through Tony’s veins, catering to every nurturing and giving atom in his body. Peter was growing laxer by the minute, and yet...

“Hey, kid. If you wanna get the most outta this - And this isn’t a come-on, but you ought to be laying down, and I’ve got a perfectly working bed one floor up” Tony remarked, trying his hardest to word it so it didn’t sound like he was being a leech.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter sounded sleepy, but his voice was a little higher, too, hitched like he was trying to contain himself.

“Not a come-on” Tony hurried to reiterate, hands stilling but not leaving Peter’s body. “Massages are done with you laying down, right? So you’re all relaxed and...Easier to mash up like a potato, I suppose. I can do a little magic like this, but if you want the full effect...”

He was aware of how it all sounded, and he was about to take it all back when Peter shifted, and then nodded.

“Okay. Yeah. Um. Are you sure? I mean, its your bed” Peter uttered, Tony stepping back just in time for him to swing a leg around, standing and then sitting again, so he was facing his mentor. Tony snorted lightly, and eyed him.

“You say that like I’m a wolf and its my den”.

“Well. No. But its kinda...Private, isn’t it? Like, its your space”. And. Well, Tony could understand that. He was, in fact, rather comfortable with having his bedroom as his personal space. Especially with the majority of the Avengers living at the Tower now.

It was his space, yes. Even the rare hook ups he’d managed over the years, he took them to one of the spare rooms. But he wasn’t about to tell Peter that, and he certainly wasn’t going to analyse why he was so comfortable with the idea of Peter not only seeing it, but laying in his bed.

“Its not like you’re gonna be rolling around naked in it, kid”.

And.

This is why he didn’t talk to people. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, but a shuffle brought his gaze up and he blinked when he found Peter standing, smiling at him almost meekly.

“Okay, Mr. Stark. It’ll be nice to be able to move around properly again”.

Tony opened his mouth, closed it, and turned on his heel. He’d offered; he couldn’t back out of it now. It felt hideously odd to lead the way to his room, his skin prickling and his mind like a box of angry wasps. He was hyper-aware of Peter’s footfalls behind him, light and steady.

The stairs. The penthouse main suite. Up the short steps and along the balcony. And...Right outside his bedroom door. The actual penthouse was nothing new to Peter - The two of them had spent enough time in here, as had the other Avengers, though it was by far not as heavily populated as the ‘main floor’ of the Tower, now dubbed a communal space.

And yet.

Tony pushed open his bedroom door before he could think too deeply about all of this, and swung an arm out with bravado. “Ta-Da! Here it is. My humble abode. Or...The very top part, at least”.

Tony’s bedroom was...Indulgent. His bed was a super king, and then just a little bigger. Black sheets that adorned a mix of silk of teddy fleece, and snowy-fox style fake fur throws. Ample pillows. The decor was minimalistic but a blend of regal and cool, sleek modern. Steel greys and deep blacks. One entire wall gave a one-way view of the cityscape and could be projected into anything he desired.

Besides him, Peter audibly breathed out.

“I know. Pretty lame, right?” Tony could do with more than 6 blankets. And he could definitely do something more creative with the decor. Besides him, Peter looked affronted.

“My bed came from a garage sale”.

“Ah” Tony considered, then gestured. “Go ahead”.

Like a puppy being told it could get on the couch, Peter went bounding towards it, flopping down near the centre with a delighted sound. Tony’s heart did something that defied gravity, and he let Peter squirm about for a moment before clearing his throat.

“Alright, alright. Roll over”. And he was really gonna have to stop with the puppy analogies before he couldn’t walk down the same street as a dog anymore. But Peter co,plied instantly, rolling onto his stomach with a whine of satisfaction, nosing into Tony’s sheets and...And he took the opportunity to adjust himself briefly, cursing the fact his cock had pricked up in mild interest.

“Alright. I’m gonna avoid any ‘deep tissue’ kinda territory, because you’ve never had a massage before”. And Tony knew from personal experience that ‘flying before you could walk’ was not always the best approach. Peter was looking at him again, blinking doefully and entirely too trusting, and Tony gave a light cough before he set a knee down next to Peter’s hip.

He decided on safe territory, and went back to the boys shoulderblades and upper spine, kneading intently and applying more pressure than he had before, know he knew the boy was safely and comfortably relaxed. Beneath him Peter was pliant and soft, eyes closed, arms crossed as a pillow and doing something utterly unforgivable to Tony’s heart.

He let his hands naturally gravitate towards the centre of Peter’s back, pressing at the easy slope of his spine. Beneath him, Peter’s hips hitched, and Tony fought back a smile. Involuntary movements could be hilarious. He pressed the heels of his palms down, thumbs sliding along the gentle ridges of the bone, and Peter heaved out a breath, hips pressing down into the plush bedding.

It was relatively quiet, Tony focusing on his work and Peter reaping the benefits of it with cute little noises. It wasn’t until Peter moaned that Tony realised his hips were inching quite...Rhythmically.

Doing his best not to alter his hand movements, Tony let his gaze zero in on the boy’s hips, watching as they rolled languidly and minutely against his bed. Something feral opened its eyes within him, licking its great, gaping maw. Tony sucked in a sharp breath and let his weight drop a little more, pressing Peter’s hips against the bed.

“O-Oh” Peter stuttered, and Tony couldn’t help a sly grin.

“Good?”

“Mm” Peter breathed, lips parted. Tony watched, rapt and hungry, gravitating to the space between Peter’s hips. He did his best not to make it obvious, the way he manipulated how Peter rutted against his mattress, but before long the boy was shaking and a steady stream of moans were dripping from his tongue.

Peter seemed to catch himself at one point, stiffening, cheeks flushing, but Tony shushed him cheerfully. “Hey, its okay. At least you’re not screaming in agony” he teased, and Peter giggled, relaxing again.

“I’m sorry. Its just...Its good? I mean, it hurts a little sometimes. But it feels really nice”.

He wanted, so badly in that moment, to make Peter feel even better. To drive his hips down against the bedding until he came. It was possessive and greedy, and he tried to fight it even as Peter’s sweet, high little moans filled his ears.

“Its okay” he repeated, quieter. “How does...Do you feel any better?” He asked, keeping his voice light. Below him, Peter nodded, paused, and squirmed.

“I do, yeah. Tonnes, but...I mean, I’m still a little stiff? In the middle. Maybe...Maybe the muscle is too tight? Or its not the right angle?”

Something twisted within him, warping and bending until it snapped, and he was parting his lips before he could even muster the self-control to murder the thought. “I could...Its not common. For obvious reasons. And feel no obligation to agree, but I could change the angle? Just means kinda...Sitting. On your legs. A little”.

And...Fuck. He wanted to claw the words back in, especially when Peter’s breathing hitched and he whimpered, but...Fuck. Was the kid nodding? The kid was nodding.

“Okay. Yeah. Just...For the...Benefits” Peter near whispered. Tony stared at the back of his head for a little while longer, tracing the spirals of his curls before he sucked in a breath. Right.

“Right” he affirmed, and after a moment, he brought his other leg up, so, so carefully over the other side of Peter. He aimed it close to his knee, so that when he truly shuffled across he wasn’t quite reverse-straddling the teenager. The angle actually was better, because he could pay closer attention to the alignment of his back and the muscle layout.

And now that he had better access, he began to knead at the boy in earnest, drawing soft little ‘uh’s on each press that went straight, unfortunately, to his dick.He couldn’t help the thought that this was quite possibly what the kid sounded like, stroking himself to orgasm in secret, late at night in his room.

“O-Oh. That’s...Yeah, Mr. Stark” the boy half-moaned, shaky and almost surprised, like he hadn’t ever expected it to feel this good.

Tony’s own hips nudged forwards, irregardless of his own permission, until he was all but three inches away from grinding against the teen like a...Well. Like a teen. Tony remembered all those youthful days of rutting against his partners like a dog in heat, the teasing friction that layers of clothing offered.

“Can you...Could you go lower? Like, the bottom of my spine? It feels...tight” Peter sounded hesitant, but more in the way that he typically was when asking anything of Tony. It was still fresh on Tony’s mind that it had taken the kid almost a month of being at the Tower to even ask for a drink.

“Yeah, kid. Okay” Tony agreed easily, surprised at how little his voice strained or wavered. He shuffled on his knees to adjust his balance and lowered the placement of his hands, watching Peter’s spine bow under his touch, hips sliding in an arc against his bed.

The short little hitches had Tony tipping forwards without even really registering it, and when a shuffle from Peter had Tony’s hips just barely grazing his ass, they both paused. Tony was about to open his mouth when Peter relaxed again, fingers flexing then twisting in the bedsheets, and he wordlessly continued.

The squirming increased. The moans grew bolder, less held back. Subtle nudges became flat out grinds into Tony’s luxurious sheets, and each torturous movement nudged them together in bare touches.

One particularly heavy press of Tony’s palms had Peter letting out an honest to god whine, hips pushing back against his hips instead of down against the bed, and Tony breathed out heavy, thumbs digging into his muscles. “Good?” He rasped, and Peter whimpered below him, fisting the sheets tightly and grinding back again.

“Peter...”

“I’m sorry. It just...Your hands. The bed” Peter heaved, burying his face into his arms to hide his shame. Tony found himself squeezing Peter’s hips, swallowing thickly as he looked down to see where they were connected, the jut of his hips flush against that plump, round ass he’d been doing his best not to look at for the past fifteen minutes.

“Its okay” he was speaking before he could even think about it, fingers flexing reassuringly in their perfect, fitting hold before he ran his hand down Peter’s spine, pet at his flank. “Happens to the best of us. Just...Don’t ruin my sheets”.

God. What was he saying? This is why Pepper didn’t let him do things. Or meet people anymore. Beneath him Peter’s little body hitched and he turned his head slightly, blinking back at Tony with wide, vulnerable eyes.

“Wha-?”

“Just relax” Tony cut him off, hands drifting to resume his work on that tight little knot at the base of his spine. It looked like Peter was going to protest, but then he lolled his head back into the duvet, nuzzling it with a low groan.

“M-Mr. Stark” the boy dragged out, trembling just ever so slightly under his hold as Tony drove his hips down against the bedding, and pulled them back up against his hips, where his own cock had begun to swell into a thick rise.

“You’re...Hard” Peter squeaked, and Tony ground his teeth, thumbing at a stiff slope of muscle.

“Yeah” he agreed quietly, and was surprised when Peter’s hips drove back against him. His breath stuttered in his lungs and he folded over slightly, gripping at Peter’s hips as a spark of pleasure jumped through his pelvis.

He fucked forwards against it without thinking, pressing down on Peter’s bowed spine, drawing a moan from both of them. “How close are you?” He ground out, rolling his hips languidly to ride the slope of Peter’s firm ass. Beneath him the boy whimpered and rolled his hips in response.

“Close”.

“That the skill of my hands, or the durability of my bedding?” Tony couldn’t help teasing, and Peter shuddered beneath him, head shaking slightly as he refused to answer. Tony couldn’t even feel affronted - He knew the pleasure of good bedding and sturdy mattress.

They began to move together in earnest, rutting with single-minded intent like Tony was eighteen and driven by his cock all over again (he might not be eighteen now, but the latter still largely applies). Tony braced himself, thighs tensed and body arched over Peter’s, riding his ass like it was all he was born to do even as he kept working on Peter’s spine, digging into the meat and bone until one of Peter’s arms bent backwards, searching.

Their fingers interlocked and Tony moved his arm forwards, bringing Peter’s hand back to a more comfortable position as the signs the boy was getting closer to completion became more apparent. Tony’s own pleasure was coiling through his body, taut like a spring about to release. He felt flushed, heady, cock hot and desperate.

“Mr. Stark!” It was pitched, a half-yelp, and then Peter’s body was jerking beneath him, arching and locking up, torn between fucking forwards and pressing back against Tony’s cock as the boy shuddered through his orgasm, coaxed through it by Tony’s hand on the centre of his back, pressing him down into the mattress.

Peter cums with the most breathtaking sound. A moan warped into a cry, shaking and rich with pleasure and emotion. Has the bite heightened everything? Peter’s senses are always so sharp, so raw. How did an orgasm feel, when even the sound of your own breathing could overwhelm you?

When the kid finally, finally slumps down beneath him, still pinned - allowing himself to be pinned - Tony can’t bring himself to chase his own, heat and guilt fighting an equal war in his gut.

“How do you feel?” He bit out, forcing himself to let up some of the weight. Peter had only consented to Tony making him feel good. And even then...Had it really been consent? He kind of felt like the guilt was winning out of the heat.

“I feel good” Peter breathed, head turned to blink at him lazily, sated. “Really good. I feel...Loose”.

The lecherous smirk is dazzling before he can stop it, palm sliding down the gentle slope of Peter’s spine the settle dead centre on that inviting, round ass, thumb pressing just a fraction into the dip of his cheeks, towards a wet, hot heat Tony knows awaits.

“Want to feel even looser?”

[imagines-mha]

So this request is kinda specific... If you wouldn't mind could you write where the reactions to Team nekoma meeting their first year manager for the first time, manager walks in and trips or something. Luckily one of the boys steps in and saves manager. But manager is socially anxious and just freezes. But once they warm up to the boys their all bubbly,cute and dorky(a babie)

This request had me like 💖🥺💕💖🥺💕 thank u sm for it i LOVED writing it dmsnsjzin

𝒩𝑒𝓀𝑜𝓂𝒶’𝓈 𝒞𝓊𝓉𝑒 𝒩𝑒𝓌 𝑀𝒶𝓃𝒶𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈

🐱 Nekoma have always wanted a cute manager. Nekoma were NOT expecting to get anything almost as cute as you.

🐱 Kuroo tells them all about you before you come in, and more importantly WARNS them not to freak out or act too animalistic around you the first time bc the LAST thing he wants to do is scare their new manager off

🐱 They’re all practicing one day: Yaku’s scolding Lev for arriving late because he got distracted by yet another cat, Yamamoto and Inuoka are having a competition to see who can balance the most items on a sleeping Kenma, Fukunaga’s vibing in the corner eating a banana, Shibayama is the only one actually practicing, and Kuroo and Kai are wayyyyy too deep into a conversation about rubber bands to even notice the creak of the huge gym doors

🐱 That’s when YOU, the new Nekoma manager, decide to make an appearance

🐱 When you walk in, they’re all still so distracted that they don’t even hear you

🐱 Well, until you trip over a sudden rolling ball, sending your body HURTLING forward into the inevitable abyss of the volleyball court

🐱 Everything seems to slow down and you can see everyone stop what they were doing and oh my god they were all looking at you fall and you really wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole because this had to be a record for the worst way to meet new people and you wanted DEATH

🐱 That’s until strong arms and quick reflexes catch you juuuuuust before you hit the ground

🐱 There’s a hitching of breaths, and the court’s silent, and then there’s a holler, and a “WOAH GOOD CATCH YAKU!” from a really tall boy with a bright, somewhat dopey smile

🐱 you’re on your feet before you know it and honey coloured eyes are gazing into yours, complete with a gentle smile that somehow calms your nerves in 2 seconds flat

🐱 “Nice to meet you manager-” he quickly smirks in a way that makes you question how the hell he was so smooth for someone who seemed so argumentative moments ago.

🐱 Before you know it the rest of the team are circling you and throwing their names at you at full speed like it would save their lives. It was like they’d never had a manager before, but they were all CUTE AS HELL so you weren’t complaining

🐱 Your anxiety makes you freeze up a little, and you can only nod in response, straightening yourself up before quietly introducing yourself. Your cheeks are flaming and you don’t know what else to do

🐱 BUT THAT’S WHEN KAI STEPS IN AND SAVES YOU

🐱 He clearly notices your overwhelmed face and somehow manages to calm the room down, apologising to you with a small laugh because “they were all harmless, really- just too excitable for their own good”

——————————————-

🐱 This statement speaks volumes to you after your first few months as the official Nekoma manager™️ because sometimes they just had SO MUCH ENERGY and you had no idea where the hell they got it from

🐱 You love them though, really. And they ADORE you

🐱 You become their little protégée, their baby, their prized possession bc you are so smol and precious and caring and adorable and they all go into PROTECT mode when they see you come into the room

🐱 They still tease you like hell though

🐱 After your embarrassing first interaction with them, you hear the words “Watch you don’t trip (y/n)” e v e r y t i m e there’s something even so much as a brick in front of you

🐱 It’s usually from Kuroo

🐱 They also highkey love to pick you up though cus ur so TINY,,, and by this i mean you and Inuoka become piggyback buddies fr the boy will carry you ANYWHERE so long as u buy him food

🐱 You become close enough with them to become part of their nekoma friend circle.

🐱 This means that you will never experience boredom again

🐱 This also means you’re gonna spend half of the summer soaking wet, because for a team centred around cats, they REALLY love water fights

🐱 It’s all fun and games til kenma has had enough and brings out the garden hose asdfghjkl

🐱 Fukunaga becomes your baby, like you are the team’s baby, but HE. He is your baby. Does things like tug on your sleeve when he needs to show you something important (like a snail he found outside the gym) and your heart melts every time like 🥺🥺🥺🥺

🐱 Kenma falls asleep on you all the time (?) he claims it’s bc you’re comfy but his head is like a BOULDER and your shoulder is DEAD after every long bus journey

🐱 Yamamoto DEFINITELY has a crush on you like no questions. Goes through phases when he can’t speak to you without getting flustered and choked up, and then phases when he just acts SO MUCH COOLER than he is to impress you. It’s highkey endearing though

🐱 You and Yaku are like the parents of lev tbh,,, like good luck trying to keep a giant aimless baby’s attention for more than 15 minutes on a hot day it AIN’T easy but somehow you and Yaku are the only ones who can manage it

🐱 Shibayama trusts you with his LIFE like you two become BEST FRIENDS,,, like deep talks at 2am? Late night phone calls for hours til one of you falls asleep? Random coffee outings? Y’all are inseparable it's so cute

🐱 Kai and kuroo just take you in as their own tbh,, like Kuroo is SUCH an embarrassing dad and Kai makes sure you always get enough food and sleep fr without Kai you dk HOW you’d still be alive

🐱 All your friends are like “Can you talk to Kuroo for me??” and you wanna fly-kick them

🐱 But secretly you feel super cool cus one of the hottest boys in your school walks you to class and hugs you in the hallways and ldamifejiwhey

🐱 Being nekoma’s manager is just like joining a club with the most chaotically lovable boys who would all die for you by the sword if you uttered the word. Your life will be turned UPSIDE DOWN in the best way possible

🐱 And as for nekoma? You were the cutest manager they could ever dream of having- and trust me, they dreamt for a LONG ASS time

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

All Emiya-san AU's are good AU's (its where my Actor Fionn lives too lol) and man there's a lot of untapped comedy gold of Shirou hearing all these stories about Diarmuid scaring away rude customers and thinking he looks super scarred up or w/e and then he meets him and it's like "??? he looks so nice?? are u sure this is the guy who nearly stabbed someones eye out???"

EHEHEHE I wrote a thing beneath the read more I looooove the Emiya Gohan AUS so much...

Everything about this situation was concerning for Shirou. It was bad enough that Archer was using Shirou’s name (the number of times he’d gotten, “Is that guy a relative of yours, Emiya-kun?” from ignorant but well-meaning classmates was starting to grate on his nerves) at his dumb part-time job (why Servants even needed part-time jobs was a mystery) and the fact that Lancer kept popping up to invite Taiga out for dinner and drinking but now, apparently, a third Servant had arrived.

The cafe’s regulars, of course, had no idea he was a Servant. Sakura and Rider had confirmed it after visiting the cafe on one of their dates, but didn’t seem to be worried. Of course, they weren’t worried. Sakura and Rider had enough power and magical energy between them to flatten the city, let alone deal with Servants. Rin also brushed off what Shirou believed was a wholly justified concern - “He’s probably just some lingering ghost from a past Grail War. Archer seems to like him fine, and he hangs out around Lancer, so what’s the big deal? If he becomes a problem, we’ll just deal with it like we always do.”

But in Shirou’s view, the Servant was already a problem. It was bad enough that the restored Servants of the Fifth Grail War could still draw upon the wild, free-flowing magic of Fuyuki’s leylines and pop up whenever they pleased - the fact that Servants from previous wars might show up too was giving him anxiety.

And this was before the rumors started.

Nobody seemed to know the guy’s name, or remember it if they saw it written down. He would pop up - always in the vicinity of the cafe - and often left behind gifts. One time, it was a bottle of wine for the manager. Another time, an antique coin for one of the waiters. He always seemed to disappear right when anyone asked for information about him, and reappear whenever something interesting happened. One time, near closing, a couple of drunk university students came in and tried to convince their waitress to leave in their car. When she refused, one of them joked about following her home.

At once, the mystery Servant walked in the door.

Another time, a middle-aged man from out of town shouted at one of the baristas until they had to run into the back to cry for the rest of their shift. On the local news the next morning, the man appeared to have been dropped at the hospital with a broken jaw and a soul full of remorse.

(Lancer actually laughed when he informed Shirou of this story.

“You were there and didn’t say anything?”

“Hey, I was the guy who had to deal with the asshole after he made our barista run off. It wasn’t a big deal, I just happened to call in a favor from a friend. Plus, he deserved it.”

And Lancer winked, like they were sharing an inside joke.)

And so on and so forth. Nobody could purge the service industry of customer horror stories, but this mystery Servant seemed to be doing his damnedest to make a dent in the problem. He was the most ghost-like of any Servant that Shriou had ever encountered.

Ayako and Kaede quickly became regulars at the cafe. Shirou thought it was hard to tell whether or not they were in love with the mystery Servant or whether or not they wanted to challenge him to a duel. It seemed to be a combination of both.

“He’s like, the toughest guy I’ve ever seen,” said Ayako, mystified. “I swear I thought he was going to tear that woman’s throat out.”

“This guy threatened a customer,” Shirou said, “and you’re happy?”

“Well, she was being rude to Yukika,” Kaede retorted, like that settled the matter. “I mean, I wasn’t counting, but I think she sent her coffee back six times before anyone said anything. She kept berating her like it was Yukika’s fault that she kept changing her mind about sugar and milk. She literally lied about what her original order was to get a free drink. It was awful.”

“But then this guy shows up,” Ayako continued the story, talking over Kaede as she continued muttering about the injustice faced by the track team’s manager. “And he clocks what’s happening, like, instantly. I dunno where the blue-haired guy was, I guess he was late for his shift or something, but he just - “

She motioned like she was trying to take up more space than her physical body allowed.

“I swear, it was like you could’ve heard a pin drop! He takes one look at Yukika and just goes up to the lady and -”

Another vague gesture like a karate chop.

“He hit this woman?” Shirou said, outraged.

“Nah, he wouldn’t hit anyone,” Kaede said, nodding sagely. “He doesn’t really need to, you know? You could just take one look at him and you know not to mess with this guy when he’s mad.”

That settled it. Shirou had to investigate on his own, since obviously no one else was going to take this seriously. It was bad that customers were mistreating the staff at Yukika’s job, but a Servant threatening humans was unacceptable.

It was time, at last, to enlist Saber’s help.

She had been living at Shirou’s house since her restoration, recovering from her injuries. Shirou hated the idea of asking her to fight again, especially when she was so clearly enjoying her life as a “normal human,” but he couldn’t afford to hold back if there was a dangerous, unknown Servant in the city. To her credit, Saber was happy to assist. She said she had been meaning to drop by and try Archer’s cooking for quite some time.

The two of them met on Sunday for lunch. Saber ordered two coffees and went into the kitchen to see Archer. Yukika wasn’t on shift today, so Shirou didn’t recognize any of the other staff. But he did notice that they all kept watching the door, as if waiting for something.

After the coffees arrived (Saber’s was left to cool on the table), the bell above the door chimed. Shirou felt the shift in the area’s magical energy before he looked up and saw the Servant himself. It was remarkably subtle, considering that it was like an icy draft passing through the cafe. You wouldn’t notice unless you were looking for it.

The waitstaff was suddenly all smiles.

Shirou looked up - and felt his jaw drop to the floor.

He did not look remotely threatening. The mystery Servant was, in fact, the most physically beautiful person that Shirou had ever seen in his life. Tall and muscular - his build was not dissimilar to Lancer, though he lacked Lancer’s wolfish aura - with a head of dark, thick curls. His face was elegant, from piercing, bright eyes all the way down to his perfect lips, only marred by a tiny beauty mark beneath his right eye.

Shirou had to look away, blushing despite himself. What the hell is wrong with me? He realized belatedly that he had come to this battle totally unprepared for a charm attack.

Is this guy cursed or something?

That was the only explanation. Why else did he feel like he would collapse if he looked this Servant directly in the face for too long? It wasn’t normal.

And on second glance, it appeared that Shirou wasn’t the only person taken aback. A couple on a date had paused their conversation to stare at the Servant, murmuring their appreciation in hushed tones; a middle-aged woman was holding a fork in her hand, oblivious to the fact that her cake had just splattered over her shoes. Two little kids were waving at him, apparently recognizing him from somewhere, and their parents had to hurriedly shush them because it’s rude to try and pull someone out of a conversation like that.

One of the waiters was talking to him. Shirou strained to listen, shaking himself.

“Want the usual?”

“If it’s not too much trouble,” said the Servant, in a smooth, polite voice that made Shirou hate him irrationally. Stupid, handsome guy. “Is Cu in today?”

“I think he said he’s on vacation,” the waiter replied. “But Emiya’s here if you want to talk to him.”

Shirou looked up, baffled by the fact that the unfamiliar waiter knew his name, momentarily forgetting that Archer had stolen his name as a cover-up.

The Servant noticed. Barely a glance, a flicker of the gaze in his direction.

Shirou turned back and drank deeply from his coffee, which scalded his tongue.

“Oh, I see,” said the Servant, sounding amused now. “Thank you.”

“Sure thing! I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Once the initial shock of the Servant’s appearance dissipated, everything went back to normal so fast that it was almost jarring. The middle-aged woman clicked her tongue and grabbed napkins to clean up her shoes; the couple resumed planning the rest of their day; the kids kept eating, having gotten bored with trying to get the Servant’s attention. The faint, drafty aura of magic passed and the temperature in the cafe seemed to rise back to comfortable levels. Definitely cursed, Shirou decided, frowning into his coffee cup.

“Excuse me?”

Shirou blanched. The Servant had appeared behind him, smiling patiently.

“Are you waiting for someone?” he asked, indicating Saber’s coffee cup.

Shirou was suddenly, oddly conflicted. Without knowing what this Servant was capable of, was it fair to expose Saber like this?

“Uh, no,” he said, uselessly. “Well, not exactly.”

The Servant waited, patiently, for him to explain. Shirou grimaced.

“My friend is a friend of the guy who cooks here,” he said, hating himself for giving it away. “She wanted to come visit him, so I’m just waiting for her to get back before we leave.”

“Really?” said the Servant, smiling. “That’s nice. You’re a friend of Emiya?”

Shirou twitched. “No. I am Emiya.”

“Oh?”

“Not related to that guy, obviously,” he muttered. “But - anyway,” Shirou blurted, suddenly noticing a distinctive piece of fly-away blonde hair emerging from the kitchen, “it’s a long story, and we’d better get going, so see you later -”

He hastily threw some money down on the table for his coffee and rushed to Saber’s side.

“What’s the matter?” she asked him, brows furrowed with concern. “I thought that you were -”

“Saber!”

Shirou winced, and then - wait a minute. How on Earth did the enemy Servant know Saber’s name!?

To his horror, a huge smile spread over Saber’s face.

“Saber, don’t!” Shirou hissed. “You have to look away! This guy’s got some kind of charm spell on him that -”

Saber only laughed and lightly pushed him aside. Though she’d scarcely used a fraction of her true strength, Shirou stumbled.

“Oh, don’t be silly, Shirou. This is an old friend of mine.”

And she crossed the cafe in order to give the Servant a huge hug. Because Saber was approximately half of the mystery Servant’s size, he was able to lift her easily and spun her in a circle. Saber laughed at this.

“I must admit I’m surprised!” she said. “I didn’t think -”

Saber seemed to become self-conscious. But the enemy Servant merely beamed.

“Think nothing of it! I had no idea you were here in the city.”

“Really? Cu and Emiya didn’t tell you?”

“They mentioned a surprise,” said the Servant, shrugging. “I suppose this must be it.”

Saber shook her head. “Of course they did. Foolish boys.”

“I must apologize - I was introducing myself to your friend.”

“Oh, yes! This is my current Master, Shirou. Shirou,” said Saber, waving to him. “This is my old friend - he was a Lancer in the previous quest for the Grail.”

“Please,” said the former Lancer, “call me Diarmuid, if you’d like.”

He gave away his True Name so casually. Who the hell is he, though? Shirou frowned as he came closer.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t realize you were one of Saber’s friends.”

“And I did not realize you were a mage,” said Diarmuid, breezily. “But no matter! Are you really leaving?” he asked Saber. “Your Master has indicated that you might have plans -”

“Nonsense!” Saber assured him, cheerful as well. “We were just sitting down. Did you order? I’ve been meaning to try Archer’s cooking for awhile, you see, so I plan to stay here for the afternoon.”

Saber and Diarmuid walked back to their table and pulled up a third chair.

Shirou bit back a groan.

It was going to be a long day.

[copias-thrall]

Worth

Things have been Not Great, so I wrote an angsty Mary fic to cope.

FYI: this is not a lighthearted, heart-of-gold Mary fic. He’s kind of an asshole, and there are some heavy themes.

*brief domestic abuse (not Mary); angst; recreational drug use*

It happened after an impromptu party at her place.

The bars had closed, but no one was ready to stop—so everyone had grabbed some beers and snacks from the all-nighter and headed back to her place. Friends of friends were called, and suddenly at 4am there were maybe 30 people in the cramped 3 bedroom in a run-down house she shared, complete with a DJ and speakers. They'd partied even after the sun came up, too drunk or high to give a shit.

When she passed out around 11am, there were still 10 or so people grinding on each other or playing a slapped-together game of beer pong in the living room.

Waking up at 4pm had been a disconcerting experience, but at least she wasn't too hungover. She’d shuffled out to the living room to assess the damage (lots of trash, but fortunately no irreparable damage)—and that's when she heard noises in the kitchen.

She’d made her way there and saw a skinny punk boy with floppy hair and smeared makeup making eggs on her stove. Upon her arrival, he’d turned and said,

“Oh, hey. You want some?”

And that’s how she became friends with Mary.

***

He was suddenly around all the time.

Sometimes he’d show up early evening with a 6-pack, and the two of them would smoke weed, or play video games, or she’d listen to him pontificate about the musical artist of the week he was mainlining before he left to troll the bars.

Sometimes he’d show up on her couch in the morning, sleeping off the night before, and she’d have to coax him up with coffee and the promise of bacon before he stumbled back out into the world to do whatever it was that Marys do during the daytime.

For a while he became something of an unofficial roommate to everyone—sometimes bringing supplies, other times eating what wasn’t his; sometimes leaving a mess of dishes in the sink, other times taking out the trash—but always her friend first.

That all changed the night one of her roommates gave the couch to a friend from out-of-town. There’d been a soft knocking at her door, and then Mary was slipping into her room.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You mind if I sleep on your floor?”

She’d looked down at the space rug that she hadn’t vacuumed in months.

“I don’t mind scooting over. But you have to lose some layers. I don’t want your denim pressing into me all night.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

He’d hesitantly stripped down to a t-shirt and boxers before sliding into the space she’d made for him. There’d been some jostling, but Mary had kept his hands to himself.

The friend had finally left the couch, but Mary never left her bed.

Now when he needed a place to crash, he crawled in through her window in the middle of the night to slip into bed with her. (And maybe there was some snuggling—but two friends sharing a twin was perfectly normal, right?) He suddenly seemed to prefer hanging out in her room—chilling cross legged on her mattress as he packed a bowl or they cued up a movie on Netflix—only showing his face in the common rooms anymore when there was food to be had.

Her other roommates even remarked on his lack of presence, to which she’d shrugged. He was her friend, after all.

One morning changed everything.

She’d woken up from a steamy sex dream still unsatisfied—still wet and throbbing between her legs. Half awake, she’d mewled in frustration and rolled onto her stomach, hand reaching down between her body and the bed so she could rock into it.

“Um.”

At the sound of Mary’s voice, she’d frozen. Suddenly fully awake, she’d snatched her hand back up, scrambled to the other side of the bed, and plastered herself against the wall.

“I was just! It wasn’t! I didn’t know …”

Mary was lying stock still, face flushed and very obviously affected. Seeing where her gaze had landed, his hands had flown to cover his erection.

“Uh. Sorry. But you were … you know.”

She’d quickly gone from mortified to fascinated.

“That … turned you on?”

His blush deepened.

“Well … yeah.”

“Why?”

He’d gone to gesture, remembered his predicament, didn’t.

“You were touching yourself. I mean. I thought maybe you were having a nightmare and then …” He’d shrugged. “Kinda hot.”

“You thought it was hot? Even though it’s me?” She didn’t think someone like Mary could find someone like her attractive. That’s why he’d never hit on her, right?

“Even though you’re my friend?”

“Because I’m. Me.” She’d swept her hands up and down her body.

He’d rolled onto his side and carefully arranged the sheets to cover him. She’d watched as his hand reached out to rest on her knee.

“You’re very attractive.”

She’d scoffed at him. “I have a mirror. You don’t need to patronize me.”

His hand had scooted up to her thigh, and he’d looked up at her. Her heart had begun to pound just as all the blood that wasn’t already between her legs rushed through her ears.

“Do you … want me … to show you how attractive I find you?”

His hand had slowly traveled up the leg, and was now resting on her sweaty inner thigh. Adrenaline was coursing through her—making it hard to verbalize her need for him to keep going—so when she’d opened her mouth, all that had come out was a whimper. Still looking up at her, Mary had pressed his thumb with unnerving accuracy into her clit.

Like it had been a release valve, she’d let out a long whine as her body opened up. His thumb had continued to pet at her clit through her dampening panties, and she’d rocked into his touch, legs splaying wide.

And maybe it was because she’d been so worked up already. Or maybe it was because it had been so long since someone else had touched her. Maybe it was the dangerous expression on Mary’s face … but she’d cum in no time—her clit bubbling as she twitched and groaned to each pulsing wave.

Before she’d had time to come down—or feel embarrassed—Mary was on her, all previous attempts at modesty gone as he’d pressed his hard-on into her thigh.

“Can I fuck you?” he’d mouthed into her neck.

Her first instinct had been to tell him “yes” … but it had been so long since anything bigger than a finger had been in her, and she’d hesitated. Feeling her tense, Mary had backed off.

“Or, I could just jack off.”

“No—I …” she’d wiggled around and kicked off her sticky panties. “Thighs ok?”

Mary had eagerly pressed into her back. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s great. Wanna feel how wet you are.”

There had been some wiggling around on his part—to divest himself of his boxers, she’d supposed—and then she’d felt as his dick eased between her closed thighs. He’d grunted, and then his arms came around her: one held her hips steady while he thrust, the other grazed and pinched at her nipples through her nightshirt.

“So hot,” he’d said as his lips smeared down her neck. “Wanted you for a while.” They came back up to press behind her ear.

All she’d been able to manage in return was a gasp as his clever fingers worked at her body—his free hand grazing her nipples and his steadying hand slipping down to rub at her clit again. Panting, he’d brought her to climax once more before clutching her tightly to him so he could finally pump himself to release as well.

Wheezing into her shoulder, Mary’s hips had finally stuttered, and he’d let out a breathy moan right before she’d felt the wetness of his cum start to drip down her thighs. Languidly, he’d rocked his hips as he worked himself through the aftershocks; then,his arms had loosened their hold, and he’d sighed before placing a quick kiss to the back of her neck.

“Good?”

Her head was spinning, and she’d murmured out a “Yeah.”

He’d shifted around, his arms withdrawing from her space.

“C’mon, let’s go back to sleep. Still early.”

“But the mess …” she’d begun, but he’d just pulled her onto his chest.

“Later.”

Mary had fallen asleep immediately, but she’d lain awake wondering what whatever the fuck had just happened meant.

***

Neither of them really talked about it later, but Mary had stopped showing up just to hang. Instead, she’d leave her window open, and most nights he’d crawl through her window in the AM and stick around for breakfast. A fresh box of condoms (since the existing ones in her underwear drawer were 5yrs old) and a few solo practice sessions later had her back on the horse. Mary had relished the full access to her body, delighting in fucking her lazily while he played her body—his mouth sucking on all the right spots while his hands and fingers teased at her other erogenous zones.

He always made sure she came before he did—often multiple times—before finally letting loose and using her body to get off. He always seemed so desperate for it, and she was happy to let him use her—afterward contently sighing into his chest while basking in the afterglow as his arms wrapped around her. It was nice to be wanted, to be touched—even if she missed the part where the two of them drank shitty beer and talked shit while gaming.

When she voiced her regret to her roommate, they had just rolled their eyes at her.

“Have you been out of the game that long? He was courting you then. That’s just how men are. Don’t worry about it.”

So, she tried not to.

***

It’s one of those nights she feels the stirring to go out. She tries to coax one of her roomies to come with her, but they all beg off with the excuse of work in the morning.

“I do too! We don’t have to stay super late!”

But they remain unmoved.

So, she shimmies into the dress that makes her feel the best about herself, pust her face on, and goes out for a drink.

The bar is moderately crowded when she gets there, and she makes a beeline for the electronic jukebox, determined to get some of her bops into the queue so maybe she’ll even get to hear them before she leaves.

Satisfied, she approaches the bar to order a chocolate porter. And hey, wait!—she recognizes that shape across the bar! As her eyes adjust, she's even more certain that it’s Mary. A smile breaks out on her face—she can’t wait to surprise him after she gets her beer.

Pint glass in hand, she makes her way through the bodies to the other side of the bar to where Mary is talking to the pink-haired woman next to him. He’s so engrossed that he doesn’t notice her standing in front of him. In fact, it’s the woman he’s talking to who notices her first.

“Um, hello?” says Pink Hair.

“Oh. I … just wanted to say hi to Mary.”

Mary looks over at her, but his expression is guarded.

“Oh, hey.”

“Hey!”

Pink Her takes an exaggerated sip of her cocktail.

“Did you need something? Because I’m kinda busy here,” he says.

She can feel her smile fall. “Oh. O-ok. I just thought …”

“Look, I’ll catch you later or something, ok?”

Her stomach turns to ice. “Oh, um. Ok, sure.” She starts to say that she’ll be here for a bit, but he’s already turning back around, a smile breaking on his face just for Pink Hair as his hand goes to res on the woman’s knee.

As she stiffly walks away, she hears Pink Hair say, “Who was that?” and Mary respond, “Just some girl who follows me around. You know how it is.”

On autopilot—heart making a rapid tattoo against her ribs—she makes her way to an open high-top. Her good mood has evaporated like water during a scorcher. The sensible thing to do would be to go home—but she hates herself, so she stands there, nursing her beer and trying to make it look like she’s not zeroed in on Mary and his … friend? No need to think the worst. Maybe Pink Hair’s having a rough day and Mary’s listening to her. He’s good like that.

Her bubble of delusion pops when she sees him lean in to kiss Pink Hair’s neck. When his mouth meets the woman’s, her heart officially drops into her stomach … but for some reason she can’t seem to look away. She feels an almost destructive need to make herself see this.

The two of them make out for a bit before Mary puts a bill on the bar and they start to make their way to the exit. For half a second Mary’s eyes catch hers across the bar … and then they slide away, his hand on the small of Pink Hair’s back as they leave together.

She watches the door for a long time after they disappear. She wonders if she’s going to be sick.

Beer unfinished, she sluggishly makes her way to the door, no longer interested in a night out. As she walks home in a daze, she keeps replaying the entire thing over and over in her head to the extent that she walks half a block past her apartment.

Her roommates are still up when she makes it inside, but she just mumbles out a “Hey” and goes straight to her room. For several minutes she just stands there, unsure of the next action to take: change clothes? smash things? brush her teeth? cry?

She ends up walking over to her window. Instead of lifting the pane open, she makes sure it’s closed all the way before thumbing the latch to locked. To make a further statement, she pulls her curtains shut. Mechanically, she undresses and crawls into bed—she'll brush her teeth in the morning.

It’s only because she's still awake—her brain unable to shut off—that she hears it: little plinks. At first she wonders if it’s raining, and then she realizes something is hitting the window pane. A glance at her clock tells her it’s 3:56am.

Even though she already knows what she'll find, she sloughs over to the window and parts the curtains. There’s Mary in his leather jacket, arm raised as if to throw another pebble. He grimaces at her, then motions for her to open the window.

But she's just some girl, so she closes the curtains again and gets back into bed.

As she lays there, a horrible thought passes through her brain: Is this how it always is? He always shows up around the same time every night. Has … has he been coming to her after he’s had his way with his stunning girl du jour? Is she just a warm bed to sleep in after they kick him out? How many times has she been sloppy seconds? Was he even attracted to her, or were those just pretty words to keep him in her bed?

Rolling over for the hundredth time, she thinks about how he always fucks her with her back pressed into him. She'd always thought it was nice—cuddled up close to Mary, his hands free to touch her everywhere … but now she wonders if it was so he didn’t have to look at her, so he could pretend she was the girl he’d just left.

Well. No more.

The next several days crawl. Her roommates give her a wide berth, waiting for her to say something … or not. Every night around 4am, she hears the telltale plink of detritus hitting her window, but she doesn't show her face again.

She wishes he’d just go away.

And then he does, and she wishes she knew what she wanted.

***

She never does say anything to her roommates, but with her mood and the lack of a Mary Goore, they put two-and-two together. They arrange movie nights with vodka and popcorn; they drag her out to clubs that play booty music; they snarl at any man who dares approach her.

She'd never met Mary before her house party, and now it’s like she can’t go to a bar without running into him. The first couple of times, her friends and roommates had barred him from interacting with her with hissed words and thinly-veiled threats, and he’d backed off. But as the leeway around The Event wears off, she eventually has to tell him to fuck off herself.

“But I just want to …”

“No. We’re done, Mary.”

“But—”

“Go away. Or I’m gonna grab a bouncer.”

She feels like she already knows what he’s going to say, anyway, and she’s already exhausted. While she never assumed he was her boyfriend, she had assumed they were exclusive. But: it’s not like the two of them ever talked about what they were, so he has her there … and she can’t help feel like he got away on a technicality on that point. Even before he started sharing her bed and then fucking her, Mary was crashing at her place on the reg. Was it so outlandish to think he wasn’t working his way through half the scene before crawling into bed with her?

And what good can he say about the cruel way he’d dismissed her? Perhaps even going out of his way to show her exactly what she meant to him?

As if she were nothing.

Some. Girl.

No. She has nothing more to say to Mary Goore.

***

Mary finally takes the hint. Now when she sees him out, he sends her looks, but doesn’t attempt to talk to her anymore. She knows all she needs to know anyway when she sees him still consistently leaving with a hottie on his arm.

So it’s with some surprise to her that he tries again in a way that takes her completely off guard.

It’s late in the evening, and for once she doesn't see Mary skulking about the bar she's at. A woman approaches her table and asks if she can talk to her. She thinks maybe the woman needs help, or likes her shoes or something—If she'd known what the woman was about, she'd have never agreed.

“What’s up?” she asks when the two of them are alone at a free high-top in the corner.

“I’m one of Mary’s friends, and—”

She scoffs and makes to go, but the woman rests a hand on her arm.

“No! Wait, hear me out.”

The woman’s eyes plead, and—against her better judgement—she stays.

“You’re not going to convince me of anything.”

“Just listen, ok?”

She folds her arms.

“Look, Mary’s really sorry. He’s really torn up about it. You don’t even—”

“I don’t give a shit about how he feels.”

The woman swallows. “He really does feel awful about the misunderstanding, and—”

“No,” she hisses, making a cut off motion with her arm. The woman’s mouth clicks shut. “Fine, I get it—I shouldn’t have assumed I was the only one he was fucking. That’s on me, I guess. But there was no misunderstanding. He wasn’t confused when he pretended I was just some sad little girl mooning after him. And I don’t know if he saw sex with me as repayment for giving him a place to crash or if my spreading my legs for him just an added bonus.” She's pretty sure her face is purple at this point. "But I seriously doubt he didn’t understand that fucking one person and then leaving to fuck another in the same night is not acceptable—especially without telling them.”

“I … he—”

“So I don’t care how many sympathetic friends he gets to do his dirty work, I’m fucking done with him. He can find another warm body to dupe. He certainly doesn’t lack options.” She starts to walk away and then turns back. “This isn’t some version of hard to get. I want him to leave me alone.”

***

She meets Benny at a friend of a friend’s house party. He’s … ok. Kind of pompous and into himself—but charismatic and funny. And if she wasn’t looking to fill the Mary-Shaped void (instead of waiting for it to close on its own) she probably would have just tossed his number. But he focuses his wattage on her, and his eyes take in her body like it’s a treat, so she thinks: what the hell?

As a boyfriend he’s … ok. He takes her out on dates and buys her small trinkets—so she purposefully overlooks that he has to have his own way. And when she’d been upfront about looking for exclusivity, he’d said they both were both on the same page. So what if he has the tendency to talk over her? It’s not like it’s forever.

In bed he’s … ok. Not exactly a thoughtful dynamo, but he touches her body and meets her eyes during sex—and that’s more than she's had in a while. So what if he sometimes makes little comments about what a catch he is and how lucky she is? It’s not like anyone else is asking to be put on her dance card.

He’s not Mary—but what had Mary been, really? Some guy who’d trespassed on her hospitality because she’d been so starved for contact that she confused gratitude for affection.

It’s inevitable that they run into Mary at a bar—she’s surprised it hadn’t happened sooner—but that doesn’t mean she has to like it.

She and Benny are at the bar eating rubbery burgers and decent fried pickle chips with a pitcher of beer to wash it all down when she looks across the bar and catches Mary glowering at her. She ignores him, and she resolves to put him out of her mind.

Her resolution is blown to shit when she comes back from the bathroom and she sees Mary on a stool next to Benny.

“… you hardly have to do anything. Oh hey, babe.”

“Hey.” She climbs back up onto her stool.

He turns to her. “This is—wait for it—Mary.”

Mary’s eyes bore into hers. She sticks her hand across Benny.

“Hi, Mary. Nice to meet you.”

He limply takes her hand, gives it a shake, then lets go.

“I’m gonna hit the head. Try not to talk about me,” says Benny with a wink.

When he’s well out of earshot, Mary lays into her.

“Are you fucking serious with this guy?”

“What’s it to you?” She pops a pickle chip into her mouth.

“He’s an asshole. He was just telling me he dates girls like you because you’re so grateful for the attention that you’ll accept anything.”

She's a little stung that Mary thinks of her as ugly too—some part of her had been holding onto the scrap that maybe Mary hadn’t been lying about finding her attractive.

She continues to graze the pickles.

“Well, I am grateful, Mary. I’m not like you; I don’t have people lined up around the block waiting to fuck me. I was grateful you were willing to fuck me, and I’m grateful he likes touching me.” She locks her gaze with his. “At least he isn’t ashamed to be seen with me in public.”

Mary’s mouth opens and closes like a fish. Benny’s reappearance interrupts his attempt to form a coherent retort.

"Getting acquainted, I see.”

“Sure,” she says.

“No, that’s good.” He turns to grin at her. “See, Mary here came over to express his …” Benny sucks his teeth and gives her a once over. “Interest in what a … healthy-looking girl you are.”

She squints in confusion as Mary’s face shows open shock.

“That’s not what I …” Mary sputters.

Benny puts his hand over hers.

“Do you think we could accommodate him, babe?”

“What?” she spits out as Mary tries to back away as much as he can while still sitting.

Benny looks at Mary and then at her with a knowing glance. His hand comes up to brush at her cheekbone.

“What would you think about me watching him fuck you?”

If it were any other guy, she might have thrown her drink on Benny—but any disgust she feels toward him seems to be overridden by the opportunity to get in a jab at Mary. Glancing over, she pretends to assess him.

“No,” she says with as much haughtiness as she can muster. “He looks like a hobo. I don’t want to catch fleas.”

Mary actually has the audacity to look hurt.

“Well, let it never be said I couldn’t take a hint.”

He slides off the stool and walks away.

“Hey, wait—she didn’t mean …” sputters Benny.

They watch in silence as he exits the bar.

Benny turns to her. “Why the fuck would you say something like that?”

“Why would you?” she retorts as she crams the last of the burger into her maw.

The mood effectively killed, they pay and head out.

The walk back to his place is a quiet one, both of them annoyed at the other for very different reasons. Once in his apartment, she's barely hung up her coat before Benny is laying into her.

“What that fuck was that back there, huh? Do you know how embarrassing that was for me?”

She rolls her eyes at him.

“My ‘gratitude’ has limits, Benny.”

The slap comes out of nowhere. More of an open-handed punch, really. She goes stumbling backwards, momentarily stunned. When her hand touches her face, it comes away with blood from a split lip. When she looks up, Benny is looking at her coldly, but calmly.

“You hit me,” she says, incredulous.

“I think I’ve been really good about restraining myself until now. You know how you are.”

It should say something that she's more annoyed that Mary was right about wasting her time on an asshole like Benny than she is in fear of him.

She grits her teeth.

“We’re fucking done, Benny.”

His face contorts in a journey of annoyance, disbelief, and irritation.

“You think anyone else is going to want you? Just look at you. You’re lucky to have me.”

“Mary wanted me,” she says.

“What?”

“The guy at the bar. For the record, I’ve already fucked him, and he might have bedbugs, but he’s a much better lay.”

Benny, face red, crowds into her space. “Are you really trying to provoke me right now?”

“You’re right. I’m actually leaving.”

“Bitch, you think—” he moves to grab her wrists, but she pushes him, hard.

He stumbles back and trips over his rug, landing on his ass. It would be comical except for the dark look he gives her. Feeling a sudden lance of fear, she goes for the door, knocking the end table over as an extra obstacle for him. She wastes precious seconds yanking hard at her coat as she flees—hearing it tear somewhere as it pulls free—since her phone and her wallet are in the pockets.

She catches a glimpse of him just getting to his feet yelling, “You fucking cunt,” as she slams the door behind her. Heart pounding, she runs up a flight of stairs, hoping to fake him out—but his door slams open just in time for him to see her.

“You never had it so good!” he screams as he climbs after her.

She chances running down the hall on the next floor to get to the back stairwell, but she’s not quick enough. “If you leave don’t expect me to take you back,” she hears as she practically vaults down the next flight. Instead of continuing or booking it back to the main stairwell, she sprints to the turn in the hall and stops—back pressed against the wall, hand across her mouth as she pants.

Benny’s footfalls stop as he reaches the landing to his floor then pause. She can hear him let out a Fuck, and she tenses—ready to claw if he comes around the corner—but he continues on down the hall. It sounds like he searches the main stairwell again, but it’s hard to tell.

She remains there, getting her breathing back under control and listening intently for the telltale sounds he’s checking the back stairs again … but so far: nothing. As she waits to make sure Benny isn’t going to chase after her, she has time to think about what she'd said to goad him. Part of her wonders if she didn’t have it good with Mary after all; the more reasonable part reminds herself that she deserves better than either of them—even if that means no one.

Finally, she hears him stomping and cursing, and then the slam of his door. Even so, she still waits—playing repeating songs over in her head—before craning her head around the L of the hall. Seeing nothing suspicious, she carefully slinks to the back stairs, lightly tiptoeing down them until she reaches the emergency exit. Uncaring about an alarm, she slams it open, making her way into the cooling night air.

She runs all the way home, never stopping to even put on her coat.

***

For months she’d kept her bedroom window closed and locked—not wanting to give Mary the impression that an open window was an invitation—but after his attempts had stopped with his friend’s plea, she'd felt comfortable cracking it open again.

Which is why several days after the incident with Benny, Mary can once again climb through her window. He scares the bejesus out of her—part of her half-asleep brain convinced it’s Benny here to enact retribution.

Something in her eyes must convey her alarm because he blurts out, “Hey, hey—it’s just me.”

She's relieved until she remembers how pissed at him she is.

“What the fuck, Mary.”

“Sorry.”

She sits up in bed and turns on her bedside lamp.

“Are you fucking kidding me? What about my memo didn’t you get?”

He rubs the back of his neck.

“I know—I’m sorry. I just. I wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“Because I obviously must be wasting away without a dick to fill me?”

He gives her a strange look.

“No. Because of …” He makes a flapping gesture with his hand.

“Because of … what? First word? Sounds like?”

His brows furrow.

“Shit. You don’t know.”

She rubs at her eyes. “It’s fucking late, Mary. Help me out.”

“May I?” he asks as he goes to sit on the edge of her bed.

“No,” she hisses, and he pops back up.

He teeters awkwardly before turning it into a lean against her dresser.

“Benny’s been around. Saying shit.”

“Lemme guess: he’s been talking shit about putting me in my place with a firm hand or something? Maybe that he broke up with me because I’m pathetic? Neither of which are true, by the way.”

Mary actually looks nervous.

“Um. Kinda. But it’s …”

“What?” she snaps.

He takes a deep breath.

“He’s been saying that he found out you were cheating on him so he ‘taught you a lesson’ by ‘destroying your ass’ before kicking you to the curb. He, um. Described it in great detail.”

She stares at Mary, stunned.

“What?”

He rubs his neck again, unable to meet her eyes.

“It’s just. His accuracy … I had to make sure you were ok.”

She realizes she’s balling her fists in her sheet, so she unclenches.

“Oh,” she says. “Well, thanks. I guess.”

“So you are? Ok?”

She rubs her face with her hands.

“I mean, he hit me, but—”

“What?” barks Mary as he looks up at her sharply.

“Yeah. He was pissed I declined to let you fuck me in front of him, so he slapped me. I told him to fuck off and left.”

Mary goes to examine her face before he remembers she's no longer his to touch.

“Sorry,” he mumbles as he backs away again.

“I’m fine, Mary. Just a split lip. Practically healed. You didn’t even notice it.”

“Well, you’re light’s fucking dim. You didn’t even notice …” He trails off.

“Notice what, Mary?”

“Nothing.”

“Notice. What?”

He sighs and holds out his hands. She sees immediately that his knuckles are bruised and bloody.

“Mary! Your hands!”

Before she can stop herself, she shoots up and grabs his hands to examine the damage.

“What happened?”

“Do you really want to know?”

She squints up at him, feeling like she already knows the answer.

“Tell me.”

He sighs.

“True or not, I just couldn’t let that douche talk shit about you in public. I wasn’t the only one, either, you know—you have more friends that you think you do. A couple of us … drove home that he needed to shut the fuck up and move on.”

She hates that she feels thankful, but she is.

And then he has to go and ruin the moment by saying, “I’m not really boyfriend material, you know.”

She lets his hands go.

“That’s such a fucking cop out, Mary. An excuse to keep you from responsibility.”

He makes a frustrated noise.

“I have friends and I have people I fuck. I’m not …. I don’t have friends I fuck.”

The old feelings of righteous indignation flare up.

“Then why? We could have written off that first morning as a one off. Laughed about it as half-asleep shenanigans. Why keep fucking me?”

His head thunks back against the wall.

“Because I was fucking selfish, ok? Sleeping next to you for weeks without touching you was a special kind of torture. I didn’t think I could go back to that. And I wanted … I wanted you to feel good. That’s what I’m good at: making people feel good. You think that you’re this troll who’s lucky if someone looks at you, and I needed to show you that you’re not. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean you aren’t hot, ok? Your problem isn’t that you’re ‘ugly’—it’s that you refuse to believe anyone could be into you. You miss what’s right in front of you—and I don’t even mean me.”

Her lather gets up.

“Well, congrats: you did, you asshole. You made me feel like I could be worth something. You came by and talked to me about shit and slept in my bed and touched me like I wasn’t a gross beach ball. And then you,” tears suddenly well in her eyes, “and then you treated me like trash. You tell me you wanted to show me I was worth something, but then you treated me like I was some delusional fangirl—like you weren’t coming here and fucking me every night—so you could go home with a fucking goth model. You made sure you weren’t even subtle. Was I ever more than just the after party, Mary? Some place to slink to after the main event so you didn’t have to go home?”

Piece said, she scrubs her eyes and sniffles at Mary. He only stares back at her as the minutes start to tick by uncomfortably.

Just when she's given up on getting a response from him, he says,

“I just assumed you understood who I was.”

She waits for more. Anything else.

But that’s it. That’s all he has to say.

“I didn’t, but I do now,” she says tiredly. “And I deserve better than your paltry offering.”

Again, he has the audacity to look hurt.

She settles herself back into her covers.

“I appreciate you beating the shit out of Benny, but I really do wish you’d leave me alone. My open window just means I’d like some fresh air.”

“I—”

“Leave,” she hisses as she drapes her arm over her eyes.

It takes a moment, but then she hears Mary shuffle over to the window and scramble out of it.

And then all she hears is the wind blowing through the trees.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Epilogue

And that could be the end of it.

It certainly feels like the end of the 2yr entanglement with Mary Goore. He seems to disappear from her life just as suddenly as he arrived. Everyone around her vows to hate him on principle even if she suspects a few of them still smoke with him.

One of her roommates moves out, and one that she ends up hating moves in.

She gets a new job, and has a brief affair with a colleague that ends in tears when he realizes he actually is ready to marry his ex.

Once or twice she Googles Mary, but he has zero social media presence—just a few blurry, red-eyed pics of him with other people from the scene.

She moves into a place with another girl from work.

Two of her friends get married to each other.

She pays off her student debt and buys a modest place.

Occasionally she hears mention of one of his shenanigans, but never anything substantial. Never anything about his lovers.

More of her friends get married.

She finds herself missing the days when she could do casual shots with roommates and still be fresh for work the next day.

She dates every asshole her dating app has to offer before deleting them all and buying some very nice toys.

Sometimes she goes out to her old haunts and watches the social shit show with fondness.

Mary becomes like that song: someone she used to know.

Until …

He isn’t.

It’s in that Japanese coffee shop of all places that she finally sees him—the man behind the myth—again. She’s tapping away at her laptop, latte in hand, when she sees him in line. At first, she doesn’t even think it’s him.

She thinks, “Huh. That dude looks like Mary Goore.” But the longer she stares, the more she realizes that it is Mary Goore.

Mary used to be a skinny-ass noodle boy. His hair was always greasy and flaky with product. Even when clean, his clothes were covered in stains and holes. His leather jacket was dull with half the lining ripped away, and his Docs were covered in black duct tape. Under his makeup, his face was handsome, but covered in acne.

This … man is still very slender, but his shoulders have broadened, and she thinks she can detect a little potbelly. His hair is still styled, but it looks clean. He looks clean. His leather jacket looks lived in, but is still shiny. The black jeans are still molded onto his legs … but the only rips are at his knees and—unlike the only pair she ever saw him wear—don’t look like they’d ooze oil if you pressed hard. The ends are tucked into boots that—while scuffed—aren’t cracked or peeling. When he turns to stare absently at the wall, she can see that his face has filled out a bit, but the makeup is more subtle—still white in pallor, but instead of clunky skull accents, his eyes and cheeks are sleek and contoured.

The old feeling of longing stirs in her gut.

It’s why, stupidly, instead of being satisfied with just this glimpse, she says (in a hesitant, wavering voice), “Mary?” after he gets his order. She doesn't know why she does this to herself. It’s not like she wants to hear about his marriage or his kids. Or worse—how he’s still giving it away for free like that’s all he’s worth.

Despite various diets and exercise regimes, she's only grown more womanly—but she's learned that what Mary told her all those years ago was truth: she was the only thing cockblocking herself.

To-go cup in hand, he swivels his head this way and that, trying to find the source of his name. His gaze glosses right over her, and she doesn't quite have the courage to call out to him again. But then his eyes land on her and focus—and then he breaks out in a huge grin that opens up his whole face, that shows the fine lines his placid look was hiding.

“Oh my god. Is that you?”

She blushes and nods. He saunters over and half sits against the opposite stool. His eyes travel her up and down. She’s only a little self-conscious that he’s managed to glow-up while she's merely discovered the miracle of a tailor and Vaseline.

“You look great,” he says in a soft voice.

She waves away the compliment. “Look at you! Did you go into modeling or something?”

He snorts at her. “I—well … I guess there’s a lot of shit you wouldn’t know; a lot of shit I didn’t want to tell you. Anyway—long, boring story—after I got kicked out of my living situation, I ended up rooming with a bunch of drag queens.” He shrugs, but there’s a half smile on his face. “I was kind of their pet project for a while.”

She mirrors his expression. “That would only happen to you.”

“So how’s—” “Are you—”

Both of them chuckle nervously. Mary makes a “go on” motion.

As she wet her lips, her eyes flick to where his left hand is wrapped around his cup. No ring.

“I believe this is the part where I inquire after the health of a … uh … girlfriend?”

Subtle.

Mary’s half smile becomes whole.

“Oh, ah. Not one of those. Or the other kind. Not for a while, anyway.” He shrugs. “And … you?” he says carefully. “Husband? Kids?”

She feels her face flush, and she looks down.

“No, nothing like that.”

There’s what feels like a tense pause, but when she looks up, Mary is worrying at his bottom lip.

“I, uh. I looked for you, you know.”

Her eyes go wide “Y-you—you did?”

He nods. “But you … moved.”

She mirrors his nodding. “And changed jobs. Twice.”

He taps the tabletop between them. She rubs her palms down her jeans.

“That was kinda a fucked up time for me. I’m afraid I was really shitty to you.”

“Oh no, Mare—”

He holds his hand up. “No, I was. And I’m really fucking sorry about it. If this is it, if I never see you again, you have to know that. That, and you were just about the only good thing in my life for a while. I think I spent years chasing what I gave away with you.”

“Oh, Mare …” she says, too overcome to verbalize anything further.

“Except beating the shit out of Benny. He deserved that, and I’d do it again.”

She laughs, as was his intention.

“Maybe you should have knocked his head harder. He went away for trying to run over his girlfriend, you know?”

Mary’s brow furrows. “No shit?”

“No shit. She survived but ended up in traction.”

His face seems to darken.

“Did I push you into his arms?”

She sighs. “No, Mary. That was my own shitty decision. It’s not like I was at my best either.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he says almost under his breath.

The two of them stare at each, the conversation seemingly having run its course. Then Mary jumps, and fumbles to get his phone out of his pocket. His eyes scan the screen, then he locks it.

“So … I, uh. Have to go.”

Her blood turns into ice in her veins, and she plasters a smile on her face. “Oh, ok. I understand.”

He slides off the stool, his phone scraping across the table in tandem. He goes to put it in his pocket, then raises it, then half lowers it, then grimaces at her.

“You wouldn’t want to get coffee sometime, would you? I mean, again. Not here. Or here is fine, but as a date.” His faces screw up. “Not like a date date—but like, a get together. To … talk.” His eyebrows form a triangle and he sucks his lips into his mouth, as if that’ll stop him from his verbal diarrhea.

She smiles at him. “I actually would like that very much, Mary.” She holds out her hand, and he hands her his phone.

[ciggylungz]

Boys are weird

BUTTERFLIES AND BANDAIDS- chapter 4

Boys are weird

••

The boy stared down at his best friend. Eyes locked on hers, trying to figure out what to say. His train of thought was halted when he heard a little giggle from Y/N

"I was just joking Haz, you look like you're gonna pass out...am I that ugly?" She stuck her tongue out at the boy and he just shook his head letting out a little chuckle himself.

"Not at all love, just caught me off guard is all" his fingers went up to pinch her cheek before dropping back on her bed. He tried to push the thought out of his head, but he does wonder about how Y/N's lips would feel on his, not just his cheek or forehead like he's used to.

He imagines they'd feel soft, they're rather full and plump. He thinks they'd feel like a little pillows against his. Her cherry chapstick leaving a little layer of grease on his, but he wouldn't mind.

He was brought out of his little day dream by the girl herself, "Harry are you listening to me?" He looked up at her and blinked a few times "sorry love, mind drifted. What were you saying?"

The young girl gave him a little playful eye roll. "I asked how I look, these jeans are new I got them because Emma said they make my butt looks good, thoughts?" She did a little spin and he huffed

"Not gonna comment on your body little love. You know you're beautiful, looks great" he gave her a smile and she returned it.

"Thanks stinky" her little hand held his cheek as she kissed his other one, smiling at him.

"No problem dummy" he blew her a kiss before sitting up and cracking his back.

"You really gonna go to Eli's house? I really don't think it's a good idea, got a bad feeling sweetheart."

He crossed his arms over his broad chest and his eye brows pinched together. The younger girl looked up at him with a tilted head

"What do you mean?"

Harry let out a low sigh and ran his fingers through his chocolate locks trying to find a way to warn her without being a dick.

"Well, sometimes guys can be jerks. Some guys don't have good intentions, they want selfish things and some guys don't take no for an answer and that's what I'm afraid of. Not ever gonna let someone hurt you if I can help it. You're my best friend, still see you like the little girl I met. Just as protective over you as I am over my mum and sister. Care about you sweetheart."

He gave her a warm smile after speaking and she took a second to let it sink in. Looking back at him a nervous look on her pretty eyes

"What do you think he wants from me?"

Her fingers toyed with the hem of her sweater when she asked, nervous energy evident with the slight shake of her fingers.

"I don't know bunny, that's what I'm scared of." He brought his fingers up to push a few curls from her face, rubbing his thumb on her blushing cheeks.

"Okay...I'll tell him I'll reschedule with him...do you wanna do something together instead?"

He gave her a smile, nodding and twirling her hair around his pointer finger.

"Course, always wanna hangout with my girl. Can go to that diner we like tonight? Steal a couple beers from your brothers stash and have a little movie night?"

Y/N smiled at the offer, nodding and holding her hand up, palms smacking and pinkies locking as they did their handshake, purely muscle memory at this point.

"Sounds good. Think Luke is at his friends anyway, he won't care. But for now let's go get some snacks and I gotta get tampons so let's go to the pharmacy."

Harry let out a groan, he may be her best friend but he's never super into hearing about periods or her needs for period products.

"Relax, you're so dramatic. I don't start till next week but I wanna just get them now cus Lily used the last of them, I'm paying for the snacks this time so be nice or I'll eat all of them myself"

She poked his chest and he just nodded chuckling a bit.

"And I'm the dramatic one?"

••

The two teens jogged down the steps of her family home, hopping over the baby gate at the bottom of the steps, greeted by her 3 year old brother Jackson, 8 month old sister Miley and then year old Violet. All of the toddlers looking up at them, instantly getting excited.

The little ones have always loved Harry, and he loved them just as much. He's always wanted to have kids, so they are kinda like his little practice family till he settles down and has his own. Plus making a baby smile is one of his top ten favorite feelings.

Jackson was the first to rush towards the older boy, hugging his leg and smiling

"Hi! I missed you! We play football together?" The little boy looked up at Harry and he smiled down at him, rubbing his head

"Course we can, later yea? Going out with your sissy for a little while. I'll bring you back a surprise though, don't tell your mommy ok?"

He talked lowly like it's a big secret, getting the toddler even more excited as he pinky promised not to tell.

The next one up was Violet, she was a sweetheart just like her older sister but she definitely has a sass that Y/N was too shy to have when she was little.

She lifted her little arms up prompting him to lean down and pick her up, kissing her cheek while settling her on his hip.

"Hey Vi, how are you today?"

The little girl grabbed onto his necklace and smiled at him

"Good Berry, tooked nap!"

The fact she still couldn't say his name, and settled for 'berry' instead still made Y/N giggle sometimes, the boy found it endearing though.

"You took a nap?! That's great! Good job!"

He highfived her tiny hand and kissed her little knuckles before letting her down, watching her run off to the little play area they had in their living room.

Finally Miley managed to scoot her way up to Y/N getting promptly scooped up, she was definitely a lovey little baby. She loved being held, kisses, cuddles any affection anyone wanted to give her, she welcomed. She was a lot like Y/N, they are both the softest most cuddly girls he's ever met. And he still finds it adorable.

The baby babbled a bit, smacking her lips and sticking her tongue out. A new trick she had learned from her older brother. Harry gave her a smile and a kiss on her rosy chubby little cheeks, giving her a quick cuddle and baby talk session before the two teens left the army of infants with their mother and started making their way towards the small pharmacy at the end of the block.

The pair made conversation as they went, mostly Y/N telling him gossip she'd heard, and because he is guilty of being quite the gossip himself, he ate up every bit of it.

"There's no way! You're lying!" He exclaimed as she told him a juicy little bit about a girl she is on the volleyball team with.

"I swear! She really is! She's pregnant, by Austin Lewis!"

She waved her hands around as she talked, both of them shocked at the piece of drama they now were clued in on.

"God, that's gonna be one ugly baby...Austin's an ugly little prick, personality and looks wise. She must be legally blind." The boy chuckled at his own comment, holding the door open for her as they entered the store.

They continued to chat among themselves as they browsed the isles, grabbing snacks and the tampons she came for. Harry made sure to snag a little bouncy ball from a crank machine for Jackson on their way out. Knowing the little boy would lose his mind over the brand new toy.

••

They made it back safe and well, both distributing the snacks and bouncy ball to their intended recipients before marching back up the steps, Y/N snagging 4 beers from her brothers closet on the way and stashing them under her bed for the evening.

The pair sat together talking and simply enjoying each other's company. Both always feeling content even if they are both on their phones not talking, as long as they were in each other's vicinity they were content.

Harry only looked up when he heard an audible gasp from the girl beside him, seeing an immediate blush rush to her face and eyes wide as ever, cocking his eyebrow at the girl.

"What? It looks like you just saw a ghost"

He sat himself up and peeked at her phone screen, eyes widening before squinting when he saw what she was looking at.

A text message from Eli, normal enough until he saw the very graphic dick pic he sent attached to it.

The boy instantly went into protective mode and snatched the phone

"Yea you don't need to look at stuff like that, why did he send you that? You're like 6, no don't look Y/N!" He held the phone away from her grabbing hands and scrolled up the thread of messages.

" 'You sure you're not able to come over tonight?' 'I had something special planned, even got some drinks for us' 'really wish you were coming...' 'know it's a bit unexpected but maybe this might change your mind about coming...got me rock hard just thinking about you baby' what the hell-"

Harry read the texts aloud and cringed at most of them, Y/N blushing like crazy hiding her face in her hands.

"I knew that kid just wanted to sleep with you. He literally sent a picture of his dick mid conversation, he has horrible game bloody hell"

Harry took it upon himself to delete the picture from their texts and send the boy a text himself.

' keep your dick pics to yourself mate, She's 14- Harry'

Sending it off before handing her phone back and blowing out a breath.

"Oh my god...this is the most embarrassing moment of my life...I can't believe you just sent him that text...I can't believe I just saw his penis...I'm- what is even going on?"

The young girl groaned as she finished talking flopping back on her bed, the boy chuckling a bit as he watched her.

"That's high school boys for you. They think with their pricks, not their heads sweetheart. They see you and have one thing on their mind, and I will die before I let you sleep with some guy who has a small dick. Not gonna happen love."

She simply shrugged and gave him the side eye, getting a cheeky smile from the boy who was covering up his sliver of jealousy with his protective tendencies. He knew it was up to her what she did with her body, but he hated the thought of her sleeping with some boy who only wants one thing from her. As much as she is a smart girl, she's still a bit naïve at times. So of course he does what he can to keep her safe.

If he has to endure looking at his classmates penises to keep her protected, then he will.

He secretly felt a bit of an ego boost seeing that kids dick compared to his, Harry knew he had at least 5 inches more than Eli and was a hell of a lot thicker. He knew he was above average in that department but who doesn't love a good confirmation once in a while?

Y/N finally let out a little laugh, starting to lose the embarrassment and find humor in the situation turning to Harry and letting out another laugh

"His dick was...ugly. I've seen others but why did his looks so odd? It was like 4 different colors! Is that normal?"

The boy snorted and laughed with her shaking his head

"Mine isn't, not sure on if it's normal or not. But out of the dicks I've seen in my life his was probably the ugliest."

She smiled at him and poked his side

"You go around looking at penises in your free time Styles?" She raised an eyebrow and he let out another bark of a laugh.

"Not intentionally usually, locker room and porn is usually where I'm exposed to guys bits. Some guys don't care much about just letting it all hang out in the showers"

The girl giggled and sat up a bit. Smiling and laughing quietly to herself while she gets comfortable against her headboard.

"Boys are weird, girls don't get like fully naked usually but I've seen lots of boobs in the locker room. Katie Wilson has really nice boobs, I'm honestly jealous. I have seen Sarah Peters fully naked in the showers, that's really it. I've seen guys in the locker room like twice when I had to go in their locker room to drop off towels and stuff, saw Seth Newman fully naked and Grant like that too, they were definitely not shy about it. A bit uncomfortable."

She let out another laugh and he did the same.

"Boys are weird." He nodded

"You're not that weird though, you're the best boy I've ever met. You haven't sent me Dick pics mid conversation either so you get bonus points for that." She poked his stomach and smiled.

"I don't typically send unsolicited cock pictures"

He laughed when she gasped at his choice of words, cheeks growing pink yet again.

"I've only ever heard people call it that in porn, do people really use that word?"

Harry gawked at her for a second before nodding.

"Yea, lots of people say it. But you watch porn?! Since when? You're a baby! You shouldn't be exposed to that!"

Y/N rolled her eyes and waved him off.

"I'm 14, I can watch porn if I want to sir. You watch porn, I've seen your search history you Weirdo. Eli isn't the first guy to send me pictures, I've sent a few before too. Not to him but to someone else."

Harry was shocked to say the least. The shyest sweetest girl he ever met just admitted to sending nudes to other people. He couldn't believe it.

"YOU sent nudes?! To who?!"

The girl smiled shyly,

"Don't worry about it, not your business mister."

He stared at her for a second before shaking his head.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, you're still such a innocent little girl to me. I refuse to accept you've done that ma'am. I still can't believe you've made out with people before, the only reason I accepted it was because I literally caught you doing it once. Still not happy about that one Y/N, boys are stinky! You're not allowed to do that, I decided it's illegal now."

Y/N laughed at him and pushed him back a bit

"Shut up, you're such a drama queen Haz. I'm not 4 anymore, I'm old enough to kiss whoever I want."

He grunted in response and frowned.

"Nope, it's illegal I made the law. Now I need a beer after that."

She just snickered to herself while handing him one grabbing her keys and popping the cap off with her house key before grabbing her own doing the same.

Locking her bedroom door and turning off her overhead lights, opting for her fairy lights instead. Switching her tv on, both of them sipping their beers while skimming movies before picking one. Both just drinking and enjoying their evening together, but still Harry couldn't help his mind wandering off a few times thinking about the pictures his best friend has sent other people.

And he couldn't help but be jealous.

[princeasimdiya12]

Now that the trailer for ‘The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants In Space’ has been released, I decided to do what I do best by taking screencaps of my favorite parts, or scenes of interests, and posting my thoughts on them.

Gooch is an absolute delight and I’m glad to see him after so long.

I’m also loving the interactions between the M.I.S.F.A.R.T.S. and I expect to see great things from them throughout this season. Though I’m kind of surprised that Dressy isn’t in the circle with them. She may not be there due to plot reasons or, assuming that the kids are singing together, she could be on the side preparing to perform a solo in the song.

@jackie-sugarskull already made posts about how great the new space woman is and I completely agree with her! I love her design and I’m intrigued to learn more about her. Plus any adult (minus Melvinborg) that puts Krupp in his place is more than okay in my book! Also, given how she was with the kids before launching, I’m guessing she was assigned by the P.O.O.P.S.I.E. program to watch over Jerome Horwitz throughout their space field trip.

I also like this guy too! He’s quite handsome and he has the aura of a hero. And while he does look super cool, the different art style he’s drawn in implies that someone is telling the boys/kids via imagine spot about this guy and is portraying him as a super cool action hero. I can only hope that he’ll live up to the stories told about him when he’s introduced in real time. Either that or he’s a fictional character from a TV show that the kids are referencing. 

Judging by how Jerome Horwitz is facing off against the armada of ships, along with having a variety of different space ships alongside the school, I’m getting the feeling that this will be set in the season finale. The armada would most likely be the main antagonists of the series; no doubt galactic tyrants who want to impose their iron fist on the universe. And throughout the season, the kids managed to earn the respect of the alien races that they came across and each one have decided to help the school to face off the tyrants. Thus explaining the different ship designs.

When I saw that toilet drone, my mind instantly went towards the Turbo Toilet and his Talking Toilet army. I know it’s far from possible but it would be nice if either TT or his TT army were referenced through their cousin from beyond the stars.

Initially, I was under the impression that the boys traveled to an alien world where everything is just like George and Harold’s universe only with shark people. The shark on the left has George’s tie and collared shirt while the shark on the right has shorts that are the same shade of blue as Harold’s. But then @infini-tree pointed out that Melvin looked like he was blue. So that got me thinking. What if Shark!George and Shark!Harold weren’t initially sharks? What if the Tethered of this world were ordinary kids but suddenly transformed into shark monsters because of a mysterious virus and they’re blaming the protagonists for spreading it? It would also explain why their outfits are shredded and the look of anger on their faces.

And here we have George and Harold witnessing the creation/destruction of everything. I instantly caught on to the stranger right beside them and I couldn’t help but think of Professor Poopypants. Especially since he was tied with the Big Bang from Book 10. But given how different the Red Stranger’s hairstyle looks compared to Pippy, I think it’s sad to say that it isn’t him.

It looks like someone got bored and decided to doodle on one of their friends again. Though that does bring to question why Other Sophie is in a cryogenic sleep chamber in the first place. Did something happen to her while she was on a mission? I also noticed that they’re in the gym so maybe they’re practicing how to use those chambers for long-term travel. And by the looks of it, Other Sophie isn’t the only one who’s taking a power nap.

Not gonna lie, I’m REALLY not looking forward to visiting a world where Melvin reigns supreme. We already lived through that in season 2 so I preferred it if we didn’t go to a place that would encourage the nerd’s already inflated ego. Also I’m lowkey hoping that Dressy’s line about “so many plot twists” actually makes an impact to the series. I would appreciate it if some events or person made it so that nothing was the same anymore. Like how Melvinborg took over the school in season 1 or how George and Harold were separated at the end of season 2. Something big and game changing would be appreciated. And considering that we’re dealing with aliens and game changing twists, it would be perfect and convenient for a certain cafeteria lady with “two blue eyes” could make an appearance. Hint hint.

And those were my thoughts for each of these scenes featured on the main trailer. Thank you for reading them. If you like or dislike anything I’ve written, or have anything to say on the points here, you’re more than welcome to reblog this with your comments!

Also, if you’d like to read my personal unpopular opinion on this season, feel free to check out the Read More below.

I really don’t like the idea of the CU cast going to space.

As cool as the concept is along with the rich potential behind it, I just don’t think going to space works well for the story of Captain Underpants. The themes and storylines for the books always centered around school life and the ongoing conflicts between children and adults. Even when the boys fought bizarre monsters or traveled through time, it never lost focus on the school themes or how they were just ordinary kids who just wanted to make comics. And having the cartoon go into space loses focus of those themes and is making it into something else. Something that defies what defined Captain Underpants and made it so special in the first place.

Plus, having the story set in space shouldn’t have happened yet. Everyone and their mothers know that when a cast of characters go into space, it’s usually because it’s their last season/story to tell and they want to go out with a bang. And by the looks of things, TETOCU have more seasons or specials to work with. So what can possibly top the space theme once they return? Alternate Universes? A time skip that focuses on George and Harold as teenagers? A brutal deconstruction of their wacky adventures? Granted those ideas sound really cool but I’m not sure that the series would be willing to try this or would go for something less than stellar. 

I know I’ll probably eat my words after watching the show but I can’t help feeling disappointed with this route they’re taking. I just hope that  everything is written well and that it’ll be a season that everyone can enjoy.

...

...

...

Also I would appreciate it if they could stop with the padding jokes!

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Upcoming Requests

As I promised, I’m popping on to post a list of all my requests I’m doing. I know I have asks and messages, but I’m not going to go through them right now, but I appreciate all your support everyone. I’m not tagging people who requested until it’s posted because most of these are anons. Please like and reblog this, just so others are aware of what I’m doing, and comment which pieces you’re looking forward to the most! It’s a LONG list, so I’m adding a read more option. I’m not posting these in any order, that’s just how they’re listed. 

Also check out my writing challenge in my bio!

Requests: 

Bellamy Blake: 

Can you do a Bellamy x reader? which takes place in season 3 with the chips that take away their pain. The reader is going through something and wants to take it but Bellamy stops them? Love your writing and don’t care about the haters! 

Hi! It’s me again. I’ve got this BellamyxReader idea where the reader has become more and more reckless, and when she kills someone she doesn’t even flinch. Everyone’s worried, especially Bellamy. When they get to restrain chipped-Raven and they’re taking shifts to check on her. While it’s the reader’s turn, Raven says something that makes her snap. I have 2 ideas for the end: either the readers goes out and points a gun to her head or she points it to Raven. Either way, Bellamy stops her. (I was thinking that maybe no one knows about it and that the reader’s been keeping it under control with the meds Kane managed to give her before she was sent to earth with the 100 (maybe she could be Kane’s daughter).Then, when Jaha started chipping everyone, ALIE ordered someone to steal her meds and she didn’t really want to tell anyone about the missing meds. She started to go through the maniac phase of it, and people around her (Bellamy, Clarke) started to notice that something was off Then, coming back to my original request lol, Raven told her that they stole their meds to mess with her and you can connect it with the rest of my other request)

Hi there, I was wondering if i could request an angsty/fluffy S5 Bellamy fic based on the song “Hesitate” by the Jonas Brothers? Thank you ☺❤

Is it possible to get a bellamy one-shot or something based on the song “I hate you, I love you” by gnash and olivia o’brien? I’m not really picky (at all) by what the plot is, but I feel like it’s a good song to write a fic about, thanks girlie 💜 ~ Posted!

Okay soooo I have this on my mind for aawhile!Are you able to do a Bellamy Blake x plus size (if you want) reader imagine based on the song “Don’t wanna fall in love” by KYLE… if you want though!

Hi! I have a request What about a Bellamy x Reader based on the song Happy Pills by Weathers?

Would you be willing to do a Bell x Reader based on the song ALARM by Anne-Marie? Maybe something in season 1, but you can decide a different season if it’s easier☺

Your song fics are so goooddddd! Can you PLEASE do one based on If the World was Ending? Its by JP Saxe and Julia Michaels. Can it be a lot of angst and maybe a cute ending if it works? Thank you!!!!!

Hi!! I love your work! I was wondering if you could write a Bellamy x reader based on the song Hot Girl Bummer by blackbear! Thank you ❤️ have a nice day!

Could you maybe do something Season 1 Bellamy where he's tough and lets everybody "do whatever the hell they want" but he's bossier to you and you're a rebellious spirit but he's actually being hard on you because he really really likes you and he doesn't want anything to happen to you (he's bossy in a roundabout way so he makes sure you get dinner and are safe and stuff) and maybe something happens and she gets hurt cause she's mad at him and he admits his feelings for her? Sassy and sweet?

Sirius Black: 

hello! can i request an imagine in which reader is Lucius’ little sister, so she has a bad reputation among the marauders, but on their last year, her and Sirius are supposed to work on a project together so they start spending more time together and he realises that she’s not like her family at all, so they start developing feelings for each other? maybe they even kiss in the end? hehe. thanks!

Hey sweets! I was wondering if I could request a oneshot with young!Sirius please? Something with a lot of mutual pining? Also if the reader could be in Ravenclaw that would be really nice :) Thanks anyways 💓

can i request an extremely fluffy (floof upon floof) and wholesome fic with sirius? :’) thank you

Could you please write a Sirius x reader where the reader is a Gryffindor but is very quiet and cold and Sirius tries to get closer to her?

Hey! I saw that your requests for the marauders were open. I would like to request a Sirius oneshot where he has a crush on reader who is super sassy and will not give him time of the day. He is a bit sad and so maybe James takes it upon himself to get them together? Maybe as a bonus they help July get together too? Thankyou 😍

Hey! How are you? Thanks to Seira I discovered you were writing for the marauders! So I was thinking could you right something on the marauders (Sirius x reader) were it’s full moon and they’re in the muggle world. Moony is stuck in the middle of a village, there is a lot of muggle around him so the reader (who is an animagus too since she’s a marauder) save him but finish hurt by a villager so Sirius protect her and carry her away? I hope it’s understandable and sorry if my English is bad :) 

Barry Allen: 

Hiii! One last request before you close them! Maybe a Barry Allen x reader where the reader has got “dark” powers? I picture her like Billie Eilish in her music video “Bury a Friend”. I don’t know if I explained it clearly 😂

James Potter: 

I really love your works on Harry Potter (basically marauders) Can I request 14, 16, 18, 23, 28 for James Potter. Can reader be Remus' twin sister, a Gryffindor? I I would be really happy to read it. Also if possible can you make a happy ending for it? I trust you can write a perfect fic! Thank you:) (are you still open to this kind of requests?)~ Posted! 

could u maybe work on a lil james potter fic (cus ur reqs for him are open)? one where he's trying so hard to get a girl in the quidditch team (but she's bolder than he is so she tells him she'll only join if he goes on a date w her) i thought it'd be pretty cool... thank u 

I don't know if you are taking one shot requests but if you are, I would like to request a James Potter x reader (different houses, not specified) where they enter a Hogwarts Couples Baking Challenge and they're just having fun. Thanks!

Remus Lupin: 

Hi!!! Could I get a gender neutral!reader x Remus?? Something with mutual pining maybe?? Also I would love if the reader is in hufflepuff!! Thank you!!!

Hey! Can I request a oneshot with Remus where he likes reader who is Lily's best friend and us smarter than her too and is also a prefect? He asks for her help to study and accidentally confesses his feelings at the same time/or confesses during one of their prefect rounds? Thankyou!

can i request some angst for younger remus where it's a couple days after the full moon and he looks for the reader so they can cuddle (they're already dating) and he finds them kissing another guy, and he asks reader why and the readers like "i dont want you anymore, i love this guy, blah blah blah" and he's heart broken but later somehow reader's friend finds out the guy gave them a love potion and fixes it, and reader has to try to explain to Remus that it's what happened but he doesn't (1/2) believe her, and it's all angsty because he's mad at her but in the end he understands or something like that, and i am SO sorry that this is so long, and i love love love your writing~ Posted!

John Murphy: 

 I think 18 by 1D would be such a cute song for Murphy! I saw your requests were open for him (THANK GOD because your writing is incredible!) and I was hoping you wouldn’t mind? Thanks love!

John Murphy with a reader that got her arm or leg or both taken on earth and it’s about her recovering and John helping her. If you can’t do John then sorry for bothering!!

Undecided: 

I wasn't going to ask this because I already requested something (believe me when I say I read the moment I knew lots of times already), but just trying it won't hurt me, right? (right? 😭) I need something based on lover of mine by 5sos it can be bellamy, sirius, james, remus or bucky, whoever you think would fit better. thank you for putting up with my shit 🤧 love you tons - 🍑 (Undecided because I haven’t figured out who to write for yet, I think it might be Bucky)

So this is hella randombut can u do a eli goree x reader ship. Eli played wells on the 100 and mad dog on riverdale btw. Anyway can it be were your also famous actor and played in the 100 and riverdale ect and u guys are playing a game on the jimy falon show and your picking random QUITIONS from a dec of cards abd most of them are things having to fo with ur friend ship (u guys are like bestfriends and everybody ships u2) reader picks random card that says I asked you out would you say yes? (Undecided because my requests aren’t open for Eli and I’ve never written for an actor before, but I kinda wanna write this despite my requests not for him. So idk yet. Question: If I do write this, do you Eli to say yes? and do you want them together? No promises on writing it, but send me an ask and let me know please.)

[onepdumpsterfire]

Summary: Usopp moves to the city after a year since his mom died in a way to feel closer to her. There he looks for a roommate and finds none other than Zoro himself. what fate has in store for them is left for a later date lol

Roommates

Usopp . Zoro

It’s been almost a year since my mom died. She’s been sick for a long time, so I knew this was coming for some time now.

Even so, knowing didn’t stop it from hurting just as much.

Since her funeral, all I’ve done is coop myself up in our house. I’d probably turn into a hermit if it weren’t for my neighbor, Kaya. She came around whenever she had the chance.

That was nice of her considering what she has been going through…

But the more she worried about me, the guiltier I felt.

I know that she can't help but take care of people. Hell, It's why she’s been studying pharmaceutics, but I also know she can do so much more with her life. She could be some big-city doctor or researching to cure cancer!

Wouldn’t that be so much cooler than being stuck in a no-name city, too small to even afford more than the one clinic it has?

In any event, that’s only one of the reasons why I’ve decided to move away for a while. I think some time out of this house would do me some good.

The city that I’m moving to isn’t all that big and a bit further than I’d like it to be, but that’s the point of moving, right?

One way or another, I chose this city because my mom fell in love with it. She used to tell me about how, when she was young, she used to travel all over! She’d seen it all. Every tourist attraction and big-name city, but there was something about this city that just took her breath away. She told me that this place managed to calm her need to be constantly moving. This is also where she got pregnant with me then later she moved back to where she was raised and had me.

As much as she loved it there, she wanted me to go out on my own and find a place that would ‘sate my most wild urges and fuel my deepest desires,’ as cheese-ly as she put it.

At first, I thought she was joking.

I thought that she only liked that place because it’s where she met dad… It’s also why I hated this city.

My father was a coward that ran away as soon as my mom got sick. Though, she never blamed him for it. I never got to as her why, though. Years later, I did ask her if I was right. That she only romanticized this place because she fell in love there. However, she told me that he was only part of the reason why she loved this city so much, and that if I didn’t believe her then I should go find the depth of this city for myself.

I debated with myself for the longest time. Whether this was the right choice, or if I was ready to set foot in the place I used to loath so much. But being here now, I feel so much smaller than I thought I was. I’m nowhere near the heart of the city, but the sheer enormity for this place makes it feel like it’s trying to swallow me whole.

Sure, back home we had a lot of open fields and the horizon was always noticeable, but here the buildings towered over everything. It felt like a tsunami that threatened impact but never collided. The horizon was replaced by millions of stars that fell from the sky and sat just out of reach so that if you got too close thy’d turn into someone else’s day. Someone’s life.

There are so many people here that It almost made it feel lonely. Being surrounded by so many lives yet being so far from them. A mirage in a desert, one could call it. It promises life, but the closer you get the more you realize you could never get close enough.

I guess I was too much of a coward to be as alone as I felt when I first stepped foot here, though, I’ll keep telling myself it’s because the apartments here are too pricey and I only managed to land a job as a gas station attendant. Nevertheless now I’m sitting on the first floor of a fully furnished two-bedroom apartment checking a roommate wanted ad I posted earlier this week.

So far there have been only two people who wanted to move around this area, but one ghosted me after a few messages and the other ended up creeping me out so much that I had to report his account! I just hope the last person that answered my ad isn’t as much of a weirdo as the previous two.

They seem to be a bit curt, but I shouldn’t get too picky. Rent for next month is gonna be due soon, and there is barely anyone who wants to live near this area as is!

I’m sure that they’re nicer in person! I shouldn’t worry. It’s just two days.

Two days.

-2 days later. Thursday 2:30 pm -

When I arrive at the coffee shop, I walk straight to the back of the line. It isn’t that long and I’ve got here thirty minutes early, so I should have time for a drink before they get here.

Should I get something for them too? No, that’d be weird, and it would probably get cold by the time they get here.

The person in front of the line leaves and we all step forward.

Shit.

Someone arrives and lines up behind me.

I didn’t ask for their name! I don’t even know if they’re a boy or a girl!

The next person leaves and we take another step forward.

Is it too late to ask? Would it be weird if I did?

Another step forward

What if they’re a girl? Would they feel uncomfortable living with a guy?

“-ir?”

I did put on the ad I was a dude though…

“-cuse me, sir?”

“Huh?” The barista’s voice brings me back to earth. “Oh, sorry!”

“It’s okay!” her chipper voice rung out, “could you repeat your order? I didn’t quite catch it.”

“O-oh, sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean to talk out loud. I was lost in thought, I guess... haha ...” I looked up to their hanging menu, more so to look away from her than to figure out what I wanted.

After putting in my order I take a seat at the very back.

Ten minutes later my drink was ready and my anxiety was rising again.

What if they don’t come?

Five minutes later and I sent them a message to let them know I’m here.

Maybe I could’ve phrased it better?

That sounded weird…?

God, is that a typo?

five minutes later

They haven’t answered, but that’s okay! It’s only been five minutes. Can’t expect them to be by their phone 24/7 right?

I’ll play some games on my phone to distract myself. Yeah, that’ll be fine. It’s fine.

I take a big gulp from my drink

I downloaded that new game. My hopes aren’t high for it, though. I found it via a random Facebook ad. Hopefully, it’s not one of those scams that say 90% of people can’t pass level five, but it’s only ‘cus no one lasts long enough to get to level five.

Hmmm… it seems plays well. A bit of a lag but the graphics are awesome! The old-style, pixelated art and bright, neon, solid colors give it a very retro vibe. The ads between levels kind of ruin the experience, though.

Guess they gotta make money somehow, right?

I wonder if they’ll go away if I turn off my data and Wi-Fi.

I shouldn’t just in case the person I’m meeting tries to reach me.

Could be fine for a round or two, though, I’d anxiously suffer through all of it.

I shouldn’t just in-

A sudden scraping sound from the chair opposite of me jolts me from my hypnotic state. “Hey,” a green-haired man in front of me mutteres before taking the seat he pulled out.

Taking in his form as he makes himself comfortable, my mind begins to race. Green dyed hair with roots of black hair showing. Fitted, sleeveless Nike shirt and black basketball shorts paired with a white pair of sneakers.

Oh, god. What’s with the green hair? He looks super buffed. Am I about to be mugged? No, that’s stupid. He wouldn’t have sat- in a cafe, really?

I quickly glance down at my phone for the time.

Exactly 3. Is he super punctual? More than likely a fluke, but impressive nonetheless. What if he’s a perfectionist?

My thoughts continue to swarm around my head, buzzing in an insatiable mob until a humming silence washes over me. Like one of those box televisions from back in the day. Not broadcasting anything in particular, stuck on a blue screen, droning on in silence.

The sudden stillness in my thoughts came so abruptly that it almost gave me whiplash. That aside, I need to focus now and answer him.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t ask for your name-” I left my statement open so that he could fill in the blank“-Zoro”

“R-right, Zoro. My name’s Usopp,” I waved my hands like the gesticulation would somehow help my words form into a coherent sentence, “but you probably already knew that from my ad... Hah..” I gave a quick huff before pushing through my awkward inexperience with ‘interviews’. “I was thinking we could talk and get to know each other before I take you to see the apartment.”

“That’s fine by me,” Zoro relaxed further in his seat. “What do you wanna know?”

Right at home, ain’t he.

~Do you smoke? “No”

~Are you a messy person? “I don't have a lot of things other than clothes.”

Doesn't quite answer the question but ill take it.

~Do you have friends over often? “No”

~What do you do for a living? “I’m a bouncer at a bar near here.”

Explains the muscle.

~Can you pay rent on time? “Yes, actually I brought the first month’s with me. Your ad said that split cost between the both of us plus the utilities would be $487 right?” Zoro dug around his pocket before pulling out a folded wad of cash and handing it to me.

“U-uh yeah,” tentatively I reach over to take the money. “Yeah...” I doubt I can find someone else by the end of the month. Zoro’s my safest bet at getting a roommate before next rent's due. He doesn’t seem so bad, I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.

...I guess this means there’s only one more question to ask.

“Do you wanna see the apartment?”

[shlee-e]

Holy shit. I’ve officially watched every single @therealjacksepticeye video on his channel. I can’t believe I’m finally completely caught up.

Story time, I got into jack when a friend in college showed me one of his videos. We watched an episode from an Outlast series on silent while the teacher was lecturing. By all rights I shouldn’t have liked it, far too spooky and too “vulgar” humour for my taste (at the time). But this boy intrigued my interest and I did what any sane person does when they find a creator they like, I went back and started watching from his very first upload. And I spiralled from there, watching his videos in chronological order. Tbh his early videos weren’t that great, but it sure was nice to have the Survival Hunter keeping me company while I hid away from my six unknown roommates in my first year of school. There were some early series that I truly fell in love with, Don’t Starve, Ib, Little Inferno. Along with the games that made me laugh super hard like GTA5, Skate 3, and Turbo Dismount.

Then I hit the “booper dooper” stage where I enjoyed watching Jack collab with other youtubers and rant over conventions. Channel milestones seemed like there were every third video and his content just kept getting better and better. This was also around the time I watched some of the big series like Undertale and Papers Please. I wasn’t even there during the max hype for these games but boy was I hyped none the less. Eventually I couldn’t hold myself back from keeping up with relevant games, so I started binging new series along with the old ones. I got to invest in Dream Daddy and Doki Doki Literature Club in real time. I remember being in my new and improved apartment while watching some of my favourite games like God of Boy, Detroit become Conner, and the new Spider-Man! I also kept up to date with watching live streams, especially the charity events. It’s absolutely incredible all the money this channel has raised! I’ve managed to hold up my end for each charity and have gotten myself that shiny pin collection.

Jack had become such a part of my life that when he went traveling for his How Did We Get Here Live Show Comedy World Tour, do you have 90 minutes?, I just had to go. The show itself was such a fantastic experience!! I hadn’t been more giddy for something in so long I was literally vibrating! I got to see the late showing in Toronto and I truly didn’t want to see it end, so as a send off I actually got the crowd to start chanting PMA! Who knew it could be so fun to wield the power of 1000+ people?! I stuck around after the show and chatted with a few other fans who stayed late as well. I was over the top excited when Jack himself came outside and said hello to every single one of us who was still at the theatre. I’m sure he was exhausted from doing two shows that day but I very much appreciated him still giving us some time. I happened to be the first one he talked to as I was on the end of our little circle and since I didn’t want to take up to much time I quickly said hi, got a hug and let him move on. I can confirm that he gives fantastic hugs. But when everyone else started telling pieces of their stories and getting pictures I felt like I missed out. I was grateful that once he had spoken to everyone, he agreed to also getting a pic and a signature with me. That night became such a treasured memory.

And then the Jacksepticeye Variety Channel easily became some of my favourite content. Funniest Home Videos and Meme Time are still some of my favourite things to watch. I got so antsy to catch up, the months drew closer and closer to the most recent uploads while I watched that newer content. Resident Evil 2, Minecraft, Death Stranding we’re so much fun! I hooked it all up to my new tv in my third and current apartment. Until finally today, watching the most recent episode to date video, which was a beloved meme time.

What a fucking incredible journey this was. Over the past four years I got to watch Jack grow and experience so many different things along the way. I may have loved the green haired version of Jack, but I love the Gaelic Gladiator more. It’s amazing to see what he’s done for himself and what he’s been able to accomplish throughout his career. From voice acting in games, to interviewing some of his favourite celebrities, to making quality narrative cinematics with his ego characters. And I myself have grown to! I’ve gone though three years of school, graduated and gotten my second degree. (Big Brain cus I’ve also gone to college, twice) And now Ive got my first job working as an animator in the gaming industry! I cannot express enough how much joy Jack has brought me over the years, he truly does feel like a long distance friend. I cannot wait to see what he’ll get up to next and I’m excited to come along for the ride! But what the fuck and I going to binge watch now?

Ps: This so happened to coincide with Jacks 30th birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK!! Hope you have a good one!

[bnha-butterfly]

Hi. 👉👈 it's Tokoyami Fumikage's birthday today (it's 3am where I'm at) and I was wondering if you could do his autistic s/o giving him a homemade cake and gift for his birthday 👉👈

Yes! Yes of course! I hope I did this justice I wanted to make sure you get it on his birthday 😭😭 Also this was like super soft and nice to write. Also, I’m still learning to write for Fumikage so I hope I did him justice here. I also see him as someone who’d rather celebrate his birthday in a small group of close friends as opposed to with the WHOLE class so that’s what I wrote! 

You can find the other fic I wrote for Tokoyami’s birthday HERE!

Getting the ingredients for the cake was the easy part. Keeping Fumikage away from you and out of the dorm kitchen was another thing. But, that was Shoji, Koda and Ojiro’s job for the day. Insisting that the 4 of them help Tokoyami celebrate his birthday with a boys day. After lots of consideration and mulling over what type of cake to make for him you settled on a black forest cake. Something that looked edgy yet elegant much like your boyfriend while also being something you knew he’d enjoy.

You had printed out and laminated the recipe, a precaution to ensure that you wouldn’t lose the recipe if things got messy in the kitchen. You had also printed out the ingredient list to take with you to the store. Only trading the traditional cherry liquor for plain old cherry juice. Now with the ingredients and the recipe laid out on the counter in front of you. First you retrieved and washed all the utensils, bowls and pans you would need. Then you made work of mixing up cake batter. The recipe seemed simple enough and you had observed Sato make similar cakes before. It didn’t take a lot for you to fall into the soothing motions of baking. You had headphones on and music playing so you just hummed to the music as you went along combining ingredients. Once you had placed the cakes in the oven and had set a timer you worked on pitting cherries. After the cherries were taken care of you worked on the  frosting and cherry syrup. By the time all that was done it was time to pull the cakes out the oven. Seeing as the cakes had to cool, you took that time to clean up the kitchen a bit. Softly humming to the music playing in your ears as you put all the dirty dishes in the sink and the excess ingredients in their proper place. 

Finally, the cakes were cooled enough to assemble. You started by leveling them off and cutting them in half so you’d have more even layers. Then you go to assemble it. Cake, cherry syrup, frosting, chopped up cherries, repeat. All the way till you placed the final layer of cake on top of it. Now was your favorite part. The decorating, you pulled out your phone and looked at your reference picture. 

Just as you set the cake in the fridge to set up a bit more you got a text from Ojiro telling you that they were heading back to the dorms now. Everything was going to plan! You made quick work to decorate the kitchen. You had somehow managed to get the rest of the class out of the dorms for the day. It didn’t take much, all you had to do was mention to Mina the recent opening of a mall in Tokyo, and soon enough s,purple and black streamers alongside some black balloons. 

The anxiety didn’t kick in till you were left waiting for your boyfriend and his friends to come back. You tugged at your fingers and wondered if he’d even like the cake, or your gift. You looked at the gift you had wrapped. You had even found red wrapping paper with little ravens on it. You took a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself just as you heard the sound of soft chatter and footsteps approaching the kitchen. 

“I don’t see why we're going to the kitchen? We just had ramen at that shop like 2 hours ago” Tokoyami said as he rounded the corner to the Kitchen.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY” you cheered as he entered. Quiet obviously catching him off guard. The look of surprise on his face was enough to elicit a laugh from you and his friends as he looked around at the decorations. The cake sat pretty in the middle of the kitchen island with your gift for him and the gifts from the rest of his friends to the right of it. 

You rounded the kitchen island and placed a soft kiss to the side of his beak. You weren’t one for PDA not even in front of the both of your friends but, it was his birthday. You and everyone else made their way over to the kitchen island and Tokoyami looked at you almost speechlessly. 

“You made me a cake? You did all of this for me?”

“Of course I did. Who else would I do it for if not you.” You said with a smile. 

Shoji lit the candles you had placed on the cake and the group sang happy birthday, which seemed to embarrass Tokoyami more. He blew out the candles with the help of dark shadow. You cut up and served the cake before sitting in the living room and just enjoying each others company. 

After some thinking you decided against giving him his present in front of everyone else. It just caused a little bit more anxiety than you were comfortable with. So when everything was said and done with the rest of the class returning and your little group of friends going their separate ways you went with Tokoyami to his room. There you presented him with your present. You watch him open it delicately while dark shadow peered at the gift over his shoulder. What you had gotten him was a book he had mentioned wanting a few weeks back and some other pieces of gothic literature you thought he might like. He opened his arms to hug you and you closed the space between the two of you. Nuzzling your face in his neck as dark shadow rested atop your head. This was always so nice and comforting being surrounded by the two of them. 

“Thank you for making my birthday so wonderful.” he said softly as he held you, and you knew that all your hard work today had been more than worth it.

I hope you enjoyed! Also all my fics take on a mind of there own cus this was supposed to be a drabble but is almost 1k words long. Also this wasn't proofread so I apologize for any errors.  

[coralstudiies]

sorry if this is rude im just curious '-' what made u choose triple sci and not another subject combi? what did u face aft that and what struggles did u meet? how did u overcome those struggles? did u ever regret ur combi? What did u like most abt it? if u cld go back in time and change it when u were applying for subject combi would u do so? Why or why not? Omg im so sorry this is super long im just inquisitive 😓😓😁 i love ur blog btw!

1. because i didnt wanna limit myself at sec sch level. like because honestly i knew i liked bio and chem more than phy but phy is like,,, u know what the adults say money making. plus i heard that upper sec phy not as hard ie the jump is smaller compared to chem and bio so i just take lor. anyways my strength is always science and english compared to other subjects so triple was the way to go :>

2. honestly the workload is ok. like everyone i struggled w chem at first but slowly i got the hang of it (how to answer) so i didn't face much difficulties in science. my amaths and emaths however is another case because they were damn 爛！爛到不行! ofc i was a busy student so i had to stay up late to do work and study on the go but other than that not much issues

3. for chem it was a matter of getting used to it so only time and practice cld help. for math i just sucked all the way to 2 weeks before Os when i woke up and grinded tys and practice papers. i just barely pass my amath major exams. as for studying at night if i got tired i'll eat fruits or drink smt cold or even just have some ice cubes(wtf right i know) and wash my face, play some nice music and jam out while finishing my work. sometimes it was demoralising la cos u see everyone sleeping and chilling and gg out but u have training then after training u need to mug like hell but its like DAMN i rly love my sports so i just told myself if its something i like then its worth working doubly hard for!!

4. No i never regretted my combi. ppl always say triple is hard. i took like 9 subs (incl ECL for o level during sec3) and i got 9 distinctions and i still managed to train, have fun and enjoy myself and learn a lot and rly challenge myself to step outta my comfort zone. if anything its not as scary as ppl say it is because if u plan ur time well (i didnt rly but still) its definitely manageable and pretty fun imo. for my SS+egeog, i struggled w SS cos of a shitty teacher and honestly i still dislike the subject la but learning geog was so much fun so it didnt hurt much. tbh i think ppl say 3sci is hard cos of pure bio but bio was my strength so it never rly mattered. also memorising isnt painful if u like the subj HAHAHA anyway if u listen in class and watch videos it sinks in pretty fast:>

5. i liked that if u ever got bored about one subj theres always smt else to study lor. like imagine u cant understand circuits, ok move on and do organic chem. tired of your acids and bases then go study DNA lor HAHAHA ppl say its a heavy workload but for students like me with short attention span, its good cus i can keep studying diff things without getting bored.

6. nah i wouldnt change. i think this is the right combi for me. cus ppl like me (ahem indecisive libras) take damn long to decide but when i decide i make sure i've made the best possible choice lor. no huge regrets la. amath was compulsory (bleh). hcl was painful but i stopped hating chinese cus i made a couple of cool friends from china, taiwan and hkg (esp the taiwanese were so supportive and willing to help me with my work and i could help all of them with their english HAHAHA) which made learning more fun (plus since we all played the same sport u can learn sporting terms in chinese HOW COOL HAHAHA) then trisci was def the best part of my combi cus i love science man. for my sch if u take trisci u have to take ss + elective humans and out of elit hist and geog i'd still take geog (altho i fared the worst for geog in lower sec) cus its my interest and i rly love it :> so yeah i wouldnt change anything!!!

okies thats all, dont worry about the length HAHA it was fun sharing all that. this reminds me i prolly need to set up an about me for this blog lol HAHAHAHA i initially didnt do that cos idw to be doxxed or smt but aiya forget it man. all the best in ur studies and 新年快樂!!!

[spidercakes]

Here’s a fun college (Tony)/high school (Peter) Tony/Peter AU :)

*

Ned looks suspicious and he totally shouldn’t, Peter makes good life choices except that one time he drunk made out with Flash but that’s half on Flash and it was back to the regularly scheduled Flash being a dick afterwards anyway. So really, it wasn’t like that bad life choice panned out any it was just a weak moment. “Since when are you dating someone?” he asks. Liz and MJ lean forward in interest but probably for different reasons. Peter doesn’t think MJ’s interest in people in crisis is normal but what’s he know?

“Since the weekend,” he says, smiling a little. Tony kind of has a reputation so he didn’t really know what was going on, and he’s in MIT so there’s that to consider but they worked it out eventually. Its not like he couldn’t afford all his gifts to Peter so he hadn’t really thought much of them even if he secretly hoped it meant something. Tony had admitted to enjoying spoiling him anyway because he always looked so surprised about it.

Predictably Ned looks offended about this. “You ditched building the Death Star with me to go hang out with your boyfriend?” he asks.

Which like, kind of. “Ned, we can build the Death Star another day,” he says without adding that Tony was only in town for a couple days anyway. Ned’s around all the time, Peter prioritized.

“But I wanted to build it Saturday,” he says, upset.

“Ned, we will have like four three day weekends coming up,” he points out. “We can build it then. Or procrastinate on our chemistry reports and build it instead of doing school work,” he points out. They both know that’s what they’re going to do because they both hate writing lab reports so he shouldn’t look so wounded.

“So how come we’ve never met this guy?” MJ asks.

“And how come you haven’t given him a name?” Liz adds.

Because Tony’s not in New York most of the time and he’s not telling his friends he’s dating Tony Stark Ned would have a heart attack and Peter’s not ready to live a Ned free life yet. Or ever.

“’Cus he doesn’t exist,” someone new says and they all turn to see Flash leaning out of his chair at the table across from them.

“He does so Flash, stop eavesdropping,” Peter tells him.

“Yeah, Parker? Okay, then. What’s his name? George Glass?” he says, incredulous.

“No, Tony Stark,” Peter says, just as sarcastic even though its true. Why is it that Flash can never mind his own business?

Flash snorts, “oh my god, could you imagine? Seriously, he would not stoop that low,” Flash says, fully confident despite the fact that Peter knows he’s wrong. He can’t help the small laugh he lets out, which obviously confuses Flash but whatever. “So what’s the guy’s name?” Flash asks, raising an eyebrow.

“None of your business, Flash. Go back to failing English,” Peter tells him. Its Flash’s one weakness and he immediately looks flustered.

“I’m getting a seventy two!” he says, irritated.

“Dude, I’m getting an eighty five and I sleep through most of my classes how are you getting a grade that low?” Ned asks and he even manages to pull off looking serious about it too. Peter knows he doesn’t sleep through English, he really likes the classics and always knows more than the rest of the class but Flash isn’t in his class so he doesn’t know that. He also knows Ned’s grade is higher than that.

Flash makes an irritated noise, “shut up, Leeds. Your best friend sucks.”

Liz frowns, “you’re off your game today, Flash. And Peter’s boyfriend is none of your business,” she adds, but more gently because she’s a nice person.

“He’s my business, what’s his name?” MJ asks, looking more interested than she normally is in this stuff. She claims being overly obsessed with who is sleeping with who is a distraction from real world issues. Peter thinks he can care about both because that time Liz and Flash almost dated threw him for a loop. But Liz’s dad scared him off pretty much the same way he had with Peter except Peter stuck around long enough to Liz to call her dad a dick and a misogynist for trying to control her dating life like she can’t make her own decisions. But in her dad’s defense they didn’t end up being compatible permanently even if Liz was also right. Now Peter’s pretty sure she’s dating MJ but neither have admitted to it.

“Why does everyone want to know so bad?” he asks.

“Because you ditched me for him,” Ned says.

“I just want to know,” MJ tells him.

“I’m kind of worried about you,” Liz says.

“Because he’s obviously fake,” Flash adds.

Peter rolls his eyes. “Oh my god he’s not fake,” he mumbles.

*

Tony laughs, “they think I’m fake?” he asks and Peter, on the other end of the video call, sighs.

“I didn’t even mean to make you sound fake but now they all think I made you up because I admitted to Ned that I like Star Trek better than Star Wars and that’s why they all think I skipped out on building the Death Star with him,” he says, dismayed.

Peter is adorable, far too pure for his own good but without the usual naiveté that comes with it. One of Tony’s favorite traits, actually. “I hope you know that’s hilarious. Rhodey thinks you’re made up because you sound too nice.” He is, Tony thinks, but he’d rather someone be too polite than act like ‘asshole’ is a replacement for a personality.

“I’m not too nice!” Peter says like he doesn’t probably help old ladies cross the street or something equally stereotypical of nice people.

“Are too. Its not a bad thing,” Tony tells him.

“I can be mean,” Peter says. Tony’s pretty sure if he was he’d immediately cry afterwards because Peter isn’t at all mean by nature.

“Uh huh, I’m sure you’re a vicious creature,” he says, grinning.

“I am vicious when I want to be,” Peter says, apparently unaware that he looks like a human chihuahua.

“I totally believe that,” Tony says, having a hard time hiding his laughter.

Peter looks offended. “You should be more supportive,” he says and Tony can’t help it, he bursts out laughing.

*

Flash looks bored. “So you’re dating a guy in college? That’s what you’re going with, Parker?”

Tony is in college he’s not even lying about that! “Why is that so hard to believe?” That’s not even a weird thing, lots of people are in college.

“Uh huh, what’s he studying?” Liz asks, amused.

He’s not making this up, why do they think he is? “Engineering,” he says, not feeling like getting specific.

“Did the lab fumes go to his head?” Flash asks, snickering at his own attempt at a joke.

Ned throws a soy sauce packet at him. “Don’t be rude. The lab fumes obviously went to Peter’s head. Don’t look at me like that dude, like how old is this guy even?”

“Eighteen, Ned. Traitor,” he mumbles under his breath.

“Oh, so he’s doing a Bachelors degree,” MJ says, trying to put a time line together or something.

“PhD actually, he’s super smart,” Peter says.

Flash snorts, “oh he’s dating a genius!” he says, disbelief obvious and Peter can’t even say anything because he doesn’t blame Flash for that one. He’d probably think he was making that up too.

“That would be a stupid lie,” he mumbles because it is. Why would he lie about something that sounds so fake that’s dumb.

His phone buzzes and MJ leaps for it. “Ha! Proof of the boyfriend. His name is Tony,” she says, passing the phone off to Liz with no regard to Peter’s privacy he guesses.

Liz scrolls through the messages and Peter swears to god- “Oh, okay. I didn’t need to see that,” she says, a red tinge coming to her cheeks and Peter turns bright red.

“Stop reading my phone!” he says, embarrassed. Flash snatches it next, looking at the screen and his eyebrows fly up.

“Jesus Christ Parker, you kiss your aunt May with that mouth? Go to church,” he says as Ned snatches the phone.

“Oh ew, sexting,” he says, wrinkling his nose before he deposits it back in Peter’s lap.

“No one needed to see that,” he mumbles.

“Well, at least we know he exists even if we all have to live with... that forever,” Flash says, looking disproportionately haunted by this.

Peter is the one who should be haunted all his friends read at least two rather intimate messages to Tony and he’d say that’s what they get for invading his privacy but also he didn’t want anyone to see those. They fall into awkward silence for a few moments.

“I hope you all know I hate you,” he tells them.

*

Tony thinks its funny that Peter’s friends think he’s fake. Or did, until they got into his phone and Peter’s cheeks had turned a shade of red Tony didn’t know humans were capable of turning. He can take a guess as to what they found and Peter might be embarrassed but he’s always been pretty shameless so he doesn’t really care. So now they believe he exists even if they seem to have maintained that Peter is lying about everything else and he doesn’t think these people know Peter well. He’s basically incapable of lying unless its by omission.

So he figures he’ll have a little fun and someone is bound to find out about their relationship and leak it to the press anyway so Peter’s friends might as well find out first. The good news is that bypassing high school seems to have been a good thing because Tony thinks this whole set up is hideous and he hates it but its a necessary evil. Peter, surprisingly, is not difficult to locate standing next to a group of people who are giving him incredulous looks.

Tony grins as he walks over, smiling wider when Peter spots him and looks relieved. “Thank god, can you tell them you built a semi-autonomous AI because they don’t believe me,” he says, gesturing presumably to his friends.

“Yeah, I did do that. Pissed my PhD supervisor right off because he told me it was impossible so I guess he can kiss my ass,” he says, grinning.

Peter looks pleased with himself before that turns to something akin to surprise as he realizes normally Tony isn’t around to confirm his stories. Tony decides to bypass the questions by reaching out fo Peter, hooking an arm around his waist as he pulls him in for a kiss. Its soft and slow, the way Peter likes it and he melts into it easily. He wraps his arms around Tony’s neck, tangling a hand in his hair and Tony’s got plans for him later but for now he figures maybe he should get back to Peter’s friends probably staring at them. So he nips at Peter’s bottom lip and pulls away, earning an upset noise from him for doing so.

He smiles at Peter and gives him another soft, chaste kiss before he turns to his friends. “Do you guys believe him now?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re dating Tony Stark?!” the one with the mathletes jacket asks, voice going shrill at the end of that statement.

Peter shrugs, arms still around Tony’s neck. “I told you that forever ago, Flash you just didn’t listen.”

The one with the curly hair turns to her companion. “You owe me twenty bucks, Liz. I was right.”

Liz, presumably, looks at her like she’s nuts. “You said you were only sixty seven precent sure!”

“Well now I’m one hundred percent sure,” she says.

“Okay, I forgive you for ditching building the Death Star with me I would have ditched you too,” Ned, Tony assumes, says.

Peter’s cheeks are a little red, unused to the attention he’s getting, but he also looks happy and that’s what Tony was going for.