#the stuff is blue cause he's technically for blues gen so i said why not idk if im set with that shade of blue tho... im still deciding

[wileyfern]

Blue met Gabriel at school!

@simmerstellar Thank you so much for him Gigi!

[radbutsafe]

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

[ofieugogyshz]

Fic;; This Will Get Better, ch.1 - Arrival on the Isle of Armor!

Hello! I finally got to sit down and start writing my dlc fic, like a whole ass 6-8 weeks after I really wanted to start it. thanks work. It’s going to be more self-insert than self-ship, technically, but yes it also is strongly self-ship. It’s basically about my experiences with the Isle of Armor DLC for Pokemon Sword & Shield, and will eventually contain spoilers for that, if you’ve yet to play it or are still working through it yourself. I spent a lot of time playing the DLC and really enjoyed exploring the Isle of Armor, as did a lot of other people, and I hope that my experiences in this fic are indicative of that! Additionally, the games, as well as the dlc, brought back a spark of enjoyment that I’ve missed the last few gens. 

The temporary title for this story is This Will Get Better, but I’ll probably still refer to it as dlc fic in any posts about it. I’m still shopping for a better (ha) title, but it’ll do for now! 

Title: This Will Get Better

Chapter content warnings: none

Word count: 3400

Pairings: self x Lance

Chapter Summary: Arrival on the Isle of Armor! Sarah and Lance have traveled to the Galar region in order to train at the Master Dojo. They’re enjoying their quick trip across the region, when they finally disembark at Armor Station and find.... no one waiting for them! 

(Fic Masterpost)

-----------

It had been a long day full of travel. Our first stop had been our arrival at Wyndon in the Galar region late last night. We stayed at one of its hotels, The Rose of the Rondelands. We took the train the next morning down to the coastal town of Hulbury. A fresh sea breeze had greeted us when we stepped off to stretch our legs, taking the time between our train and our Corviknight Taxi to sight-see for a bit. Walking around for the first time that day felt nice, and my Pikachu was the most excited to run around for a bit, after being stuck in the train for a few hours. When I saw the boats at the dock, I couldn't help but wonder why there were none available to the Isle of Armor. I asked our driver about it, and he shook his head, laughing softly. Apparently it was much faster to fly by taxi.

That said, it was somewhat cramped inside the Corviknight Taxi. Although it was only me, my Pikachu, my husband, and our travel bags, I couldn't help but feel like we needed to squeeze in. It made me glad that we had our luggage sent ahead of us at my husband's suggestion. Not being able to keep an eye on our stuff made me antsy; I hadn't done that before, but my husband had given my hand a gentle squeeze and told me that our bags would be okay.

I looked at him now, his elbow propped up on the windowsill of the taxi, as he gazed out on the sea. My husband had left his more well-known Champion outfit in the luggage that we had sent along, instead choosing to dress more casually on our trip. A red jacket covered a black shirt, the emblem of the Dragon Clan partially etched out in blue lines; black jeans were tucked into dark red boots. He kept on a navy blue cape, which was fastened across his chest.

On the seat opposite us sat our bags. He had brought with him a simple black bag, while I used my purple itabag, the weight of the pins causing the front flap to be top heavy. Every so often the bag would rustle from the flight across the sea, air currents causing it to nearly capsize once the flap with the pins had gotten too close to the edge; I'd quickly lunge for it and put the pin side close to the back of the seat once again, only for it to rustle more during the flight.

My Pikachu slept on the seat across from us, curled up and snoozing from the long trip. Every so often, she would wake up and look out the window, in awe and excitement with us, before getting antsy that she couldn't run around yet. But since Pika preferred being out and about as opposed to staying inside her Pokeball, wanting to see everything, there wasn't much I could do about it.

“We're almost there,” shouted the driver over the wind. Lance and I looked over our respective windows, soft gasps as we looked down at the Isle.

“Look! I think those are Slowpoke down there on the beach!” I exclaimed, pointing a finger at the Slowpokes with yellow markings on their head and tail. “And that Pokemon there-- I'm not sure what that is from here,” I said, looking at a blue and purple spec from the air. I'm sure I had seen it somewhere before, although I certainly hadn't caught one yet... It bugged me. I racked my brain until my husband distracted me, by pointing out the school of Wailmer and Wailord in the distance on his side of the Corviknight Taxi.

The taxi slowly landed behind a brick station, and the driver stepped down, patting his Corviknight as it stretched its wings. It didn't show any signs of exhaustion as it began to preen itself.

“Great flight there, buddy!”

The driver came around to open the cab door for us. Pika's ears twitched as she heard the door open, and she let out a yawn, stretching and shaking herself as my husband and I grabbed our bags, disembarking.

“Welcome to the Isle of Armor, guys! Let the station clerk know when you want a ride back to mainland.”

We exited the doorway out of the station that had bright light filtering in. The first thing to greet us was the sight of the beach, upon which Galarian Slowpoke loafed about, Kingler and Krabby scuttled about, and various other Pokemon meandered about, playing or combing the beach for food. We could see a large Wailord in the distance, much larger than the ones in the pod we saw on our way in. Other Pokemon swam through the waters, and I took a few steps forward, looking with awe at the beautiful blue waters. While I hadn't particularly enjoyed how much time I spent on the water during my travels in Hoenn when I was young, I wouldn't've minded touring the sea around this island. At least for one day. While we were still up in the sky, I noticed so many small little sandbars and mini islands dotting the sea around the island. Even if there was nothing on them, I found myself wanting to go out and look at each one anyways.

Something glinted in the nearby sand, and Pika ran to fish it out, bringing back between her teeth what looked like a pretty twig from some local tree.

“Aww, thank you!” I knelt down to pat my Pikachu on the head, taking the twig from her. She smiled at me, nudging her head against my hand before I picked her up.

“Okay. Do you know where we're supposed to go?”

I turned around, fighting the itch to explore the island and our immediate area right away. It looked so amazing from the air, in a way that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I had read online about other trainers who went to the Isle of Armor for training, seeing photos of their finds and experiences, and laughing at the video that someone had taken of their friend being chased by Sharpedo on the sea. It turned out that was quite a common occurrence and --Oh! Maybe that was why there were no boats or docks nearby? I took a quick look up and down the island's coast, confirming that there were indeed no places where boats were expected to dock. What a shame; it would've taken longer, but the trip itself would have been less... compact.

But the beach itself was lovely enough and inviting, and wherever I turned, there was so much more to look at! There was a tree that held a variety of berries and apricorns, the latter of which I had only seen grow in our home regions of Johto and Kanto. Large rocks, maybe boulders, blocked off some of the sights, but I could make out some of the wild Pokemon and their nests, clearings where some of them were playing right now! I smiled at the sight of how content the Pokemon in the grassier side of the Isle looked. There was a faint jingling in the air, a noise that I hadn't heard in some years. A Klefki, maybe?

The sound of my husband's voice broke me from my distractions.

“We were supposed to have someone meet us here, right?” He pulled back his sleeve to look at his watch. “We didn't get the time wrong, did we?”

“I don't think so. Maybe we should walk around for a bit? We might run into someone.”

We hadn't made it very far on the island when some wild Pokemon ran up to us. Some of them bounced their way over, while others floated. They made sure that we saw them, as they loudly greeted us and spun about, like they were the Isle's welcoming committee. They made their way over with such incredible haste, that I felt they were just as excited to see me as I was them. More of them had turned to look at us from where they were, curious as to what all the noise was about. Several others had joined once they heard the parade, twirling about when they came closer.

“Ahhh!!” I gasped at the cuteness of it all, the Jigglypuff and Buneary calling out to us, their trills so friendly and welcoming. Several of them had come within arm's reach to meet me, spinning and dancing as they did. It was so inviting, that I found myself squealing, unable to find any immunity against their charms. “Honey, look!! They're so cute!!! I think they're greeting us!” I giggled.

I bounced in place, trying to hold back from running into the whole group. But the adorable Pokemon pulled at my heartstrings, and I found myself hastily joining the rest of them that were seated at the foot of a low-growing tree. Pika jumped off my shoulder to greet them. She offered a paw for a handshake. A few Buneary looked at it curiously, before taking it and shaking it with as much enthusiasm as Pika gave them. Several of the other Pokemon looked up at me, cheerful smiles as they jumped up in excitement at the new human frolicking with them. More Pokemon came out from the grass. There was only the two species that I could see at the moment, but it didn't lower my happiness at all.  I turned around to look at my husband, heart overjoyed at the unexpected experience.

“I live here now,” I deadpanned, though the grinning expression on my face conveyed anything but seriousness. My husband only shook his head at me, a bemused smile on his face.

It felt so unreal, being surrounded by so many wild Pokemon; though at this point I half wondered if they actually were wild.

“They sure are friendly,” he told me. Lance had managed to come a bit closer to where I was, the nearby Pokemon looking curiously at the caped human. Though these were wild Pokemon that had thrown caution to the wind when they saw me, they did watch him a bit curiously, opening a path so he could come closer. I couldn't help but muse to myself about how easily he could win over a Pokemon's respect sometimes. Or maybe I was just having silly thoughts at the moment, still in a tizzy over how the wild(?) Pokemon were so friendly.

A Buneary gently tugged on Lance's pant leg. He crouched down to pet it next to the ears. It closed its eyes and gave in to the pets, eliciting a happy squeal of sorts. Three Jigglypuff had overheard the Buneary, and they turned around to look at Lance curiously; I half wondered if the partial-fairy types could sense his Dragon-types. It didn't take long before they all came towards him, nearly surrounding him. One floated itself up to his face, and it was almost hilarious to watch as it stared him in the eyes.

I walked over to it, poking it gently in the cheek.

“Hey, be nice. Don't go stealing my husband from me.”

The Jigglypuff turned to me and huffed, floating back down to the ground and turning away from us. We broke out into laughter at its reaction. I continued to talk and play with the local wild Pokemon for some time more, playing whatever games they taught me, before my husband interrupted the contented time I had spent with the Jigglypuffs and Bunearys.

“Hey, do you remember why we're here again?” He teased, coming over to crouch next to me as I played a game of hot hands with a Buneary. The other Pokemon were watching, curious about this match between human and Pokemon.

“Hmm?” I quickly tapped the back of the Buneary's paws, and it huffed, but continued to hold until it could catch me right back. “To train?”

“That's right. Don't you think we should get going soon? It's been a half hour.”

“What?!” I gasped, turning towards Lance. I felt paws rapt against my knuckles, the Buneary using the moment to take advantage of my shock. I returned my attention to the game, pursing my lips as I thought. “Okay, well... I don't need that anymore. I have my own little bliss right here; let me know how it goes,” I said, as nonchalantly as I could.

“Honey...” he began, and I winced, torn at the thought of leaving the playful and friendly Pokemon behind.

“Fiiiiine, fine. I know.” I stood up, the Pokemon moving back so I had more room. I looked down at them, a slightly exaggerated, sad expression on my face as I addressed them. “I'm sorry little friends; I got to go. But I'm sure I'll see some of you again! We're going to go train at the Dojo that's here!” I looked around; I thought someone would have found us by now, but no one had come along in the time that we had been here. “Do you guys happen to know where it is?” Several heads shook. “That's fine then. I'll make sure that I come by and play sometime, I promise!”

Dusting off my clothes, I took my bag from my husband. My Pikachu gave a tearful goodbye to the Pokemon she had been playing with; she waved at them from my shoulder. Taking my husband's hand, we walked away.

“Ah, how far do you think the dojo is from here?”

“You know... I'm starting to wonder if I was supposed to call when we got here. But I think I left the number in my suitcase that we sent ahead...” I laughed nervously. I had brought a notebook with some useful information in it, but I didn't have the foresight to think to transfer it to my travel bag when I packed it. Woops.

Lance gave me an exasperated look. “Seriously?”

“W-well--” I began, stumbling around for an excuse. But there wasn't any, humorous or legitimate, that I could come up with on the fly. I slumped my shoulders. “Sorry. I incorrectly assumed that someone was gonna meet us here, or that it was gonna be easily visible from where we were landing.” Though perhaps that was on me, for not looking for any buildings when we arrived. “I wasn't expecting--” I gestured at the general lack of buildings, the expanse of nature, on the island, “--all this.”

As I turned around in my gesticulating, I noticed that two Pokemon were following behind us. I stopped, my husband's hand unintentionally getting tugged.

“What's up?” he asked, turning around to look at me. His eyes following where I was looking, to a Jigglypuff and Buneary that had kept along our trail. When we both looked at them, they pretended to look elsewhere, like they had been looking for something. A nearby fruit tree seemed to be their saving grace, or so they thought. Jigglypuff gave out a little “Puff!” and pointed, and the Buneary followed its lead. They both ran over, glancing in our direction as they did to see if we had stopped looking at them.

“Are... are they following us?” I asked, looking at my husband.

“I think they are.”

Pika tilted her head, looking at the two. She jumped down from my shoulder, running over to talk with them while we humans looked on with bemusement and confusion. I watched as she ran up the tree, shaking loose some apricorns and berries. I gave my husband a hopeful smile, pleading at him with sparkling eyes. “What if-- What if I took them with me to the Dojo and trained with them?”

Lance gave a heavy sigh. There weren't many points of contention in our relationship, but the large amount of Pokemon I caught sure was. I liked catching a lot of Pokemon; the idea ingrained in my youth of completing a Pokedex had not gone away entirely, even at my age; and then when it came to some of my favorite Pokemon, it was difficult to not want to befriend or catch every single one of them. But Lance, on the other hand, preferred to keep to the few Pokemon that he had. He was a type specialist, after all, but there was more to it than that. He felt that if you had as many Pokemon as I did (and if my Pokedex was anything to go by, it was well over a few hundred), it left you with less time to bond and train with them. And he was right-- I couldn't deny him that. But I found so much potential with each Pokemon that I came across; so many opportunities for us to bond, that I couldn't find a single Pokemon that I didn't like the company of.

We had eventually come to the point of “agree to disagree” when it came to my catching habits.

That sigh was reflective of the countless times we had this discussion, the arguments, and how he hoped that we didn't need to start off our sort of-vacation with it. But I pressed on, feeling that there could be a bit of a give, given that the Pokemon were choosing to follow us anyways.

“Look, if they wanna come with me, then wouldn't it be rude if I declined them their wishes? They'll probably follow us to the Dojo anyways if we ignored them. It might be easier to just catch and train with them. Besides! I'm sure Professor Oak would love to learn more about the differences in Galarian Pokemon as opposed to their other regional variances!  Even if they're minute, unlike the ones with completely different appearances, types, and evolutions, like with Alolan Vulpix and Meowth!” I nodded, satisfied with my arguments. Ultimately, I didn't need his permission, and we were both in agreement on that point no matter how many times the topic came up. But to catch Pokemon I already had raised a handful of, well more than he had, and more than I could theoretically train with instead, was sure to catch a bad wind regardless.

Lance was silent. His eyes flickered between me and the Pokemon in question, who were sharing food with Pika. They didn't seem to notice that the two humans they were following were having a... conversation about the two of them. Then he let out another sigh, shoulders dropping as he decided to let go of this argument. He ran a hand through his red hair as he considered what to say next, and I smiled.

“...You know, you don't have to say all of that. You don't have to justify your decisions to me when it comes to choosing the Pokemon that you want to raise.”

“I know,” I pouted, quickly whirling away to the direction of the two Pokemon that had followed us. “But I don't want it to become an issue if I did!”

I called out to all three Pokemon, waving them over. Pika happily raced over, while the other two looked at each other before cautiously coming forward. Maybe they wondered if they had been caught in the act. (They had.) I knelt down when the two stood in front of me, smiling.

“How would you two like to come with us to the Dojo? I could use some friends from here while we train and learn from the same Master that taught the current Galarian Champion!” The two Pokemon wouldn't have any idea of who that was, but it felt right sharing that. Maybe it'd make it sound more impressive to them, though how much they knew about things like championships and training, I didn't know. I'm sure it didn't matter to them anyways. “You two can join me, if you'd like!”

Once more, the two looked at each other, seemingly discussing it amongst themselves in near-silence. It didn't take long for them to make a decision, however. They turned towards me, smiling and giving me cheerful cries.

“Puff!”

“Buuun!”

The two Pokemon spun around happily.

[chemicalmagecraft]

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 19

"So the cavalry battle's about to start," Mic-sensei said, "and I've just gotta say..." I strapped myself into the harness Hatsume had thoughtfully made for me so that I wouldn't fall while I was Meditating, because I really needed to use Meditation for my crazy plan to work. "IS THAT ONE OF THE ROBOTS FROM EARLIER!?" The two-pointer that I'd stowed in my inventory during the obstacle race. I was sitting on the center of the robot's torso, which thankfully acted a bit like a platform, Uraraka and Hatsume were by the front of the robot, with Hatsume arm-deep in the robot's guts still. Our final teammate, Tokoyami, was by the back of the robot due to its size. While I was the only one with a harness, my teammates had bits of scrap metal that Uraraka had magnetized that let them stick to the robot but still allowed them to move if they needed to.

"Too loud, Mic," Aizawa complained. "And yes, that is one of the robots from earlier. The problem child argued that if his teammate, Hatsume, modified and hacked the robot, then it would be her creation and therefore, as she is a support student, her team would be allowed to use it." He sighed. "And apparently the principal specifically wrote into the rules that hacking the robots is okay, so it's not even technically a loophole. When I asked Nedzu about it, he just maniacally laughed."

"To be honest I probably should've seen that coming."

"Probably. And by the way, the cavalry battle begins in about one minute, so get ready."

I took a deep breath and focused on my mana. A ball of faintly glowing light blue mana appeared on my chest, and three tendrils of mana extended from it. The tendrils touched my teammates on the chest, forming balls of mana on their chests like mine. Bestow, a spell I thought of that allowed me to share my mana with others, though there was a bit of mana lost. "So interesting!" Hatsume shouted as she poked the ball of mana on her chest, her eyes glowing. She was actually pretty good with magic, judging from how quickly she'd picked up Eye For Magic.

Tokoyami put a hand up to his mana ball. "I feel power flowing through me," he muttered.

I nodded. "Just remember that even with Meditation, I have a limited amount of mana. And there's three of you, which means that my mana will be split between you. We should be fine if only one person does something big at a time, so coordinate your spells."

"On three!" Midnight shouted.

"And finally snap me out of it if we need something big and I'll use Limit Break," I said quickly, then activated Mana Dome and Meditation.

"Begin!" Midnight shouted.

I couldn't really see much of what was happening at first because of how I was meditating and in the center of the robot. However, after a few moments, it seemed like Bestow started to synergize with Open Mind and possibly even Meditate, Tactician, and the party we'd made, because I was able to see through my teammate's eyes. I mostly focused on Uraraka because Tokoyami was watching the rear and Hatsume was piloting the robot. I kept a bit of an 'eye' on Hatsume, though, because I hoped to absorb some of her mechanical expertise. Uraraka saw that a lot of the teams made a beeline straight for us. One of the teams used some sort of ground-softening Quirk. "I'm gonna lower gravity!" Uraraka shouted. "Hit the jets, Hatsume!" I felt a sudden drain on my mana coming from Uraraka. A pink glow spread from her body, engulfing the entire robot. Hatsume activated the robot's jets, and despite its weight it flew. Tokoyami deflected a few shots that came after us with Dark Shadow.

When we touched down, the robot sank a bit. Hatsume looked down at the legs and saw some mud, using Eye For Magic. "Someone's attacking my new baby with water magic!" she shouted.

Uraraka looked around and saw Tsu and someone from gen ed that I didn't know very well riding on Shoji's back. "Tsu-chan!" she shouted.

Tsu spat out a glob of water, which shaped itself like a buzzsaw. "Ochako-chan, I'm sorry to do this, but-"

"Well I'm not at all!" Hatsume shouted, then laid her hands on the robot. She stared at her hands with Eye For Magic as she poured mana into the robot. She, and therefore I, could see how the mana interacted with the technology. I heard a text box open as I learned the skill from her. Blue lines spread across the robot, and Hatsume's vision changed to the robot's camera. She shot a net at Tsu's team, entangling them, and made the robot carefully step out of the mud.

"DEKU! YOUR FUCKING ROBOT WON'T SAVE YOU NOW!" All three of my teammates turned in unison to see Kacchan's team. Kacchan jumped off of Kirishima, his front horse, and started flying at us with Fire Dash. Tokoyami had Dark Shadow curl around me protectively.

"He's going after my baby!" Hatsume screeched.

"I've got this!" Uraraka shouted. She slapped her hands on the robot, blue sparks springing into existence and traveling over to the leg Kacchan was aiming for. When Kacchan tried to explode the leg, it just... compressed a bit before springing back with a wave of energy. Kacchan was knocked back, but another one of his horses, Sero, grabbed him with his tape. "Get us out of here, Hatsume!"

"What did you do to my baby?" Hatsume demanded as the robot ran.

"I temporarily messed with the strength and stuff of the armor using particle magic. I can do that to my skin, too. It feels really weird." If I wasn't drawing in the energy of the world or however Meditation worked I'd have asked how that worked. It sounded interesting.

A few teams moved to intercept us. "I'll be taking your headband, Midoriya," Todoroki said. "Kaminari!" His teammates were Yaoyorozu and Kaminari in the back, on roller skates that I assumed Yaoyorozu made, and Iida in the front.

Yaoyorozu made a sheet and a grounding rod while Kaminari started to build up lightning. "I believe my power will be the most useful in this situation," Tokoyami said. "My comrades, please allow me to complete access Midoriya's font of power." Tokoyami drained my MP even faster than Meditation could bring it back. In return, a shroud of near-total darkness engulfed the world. "Primordial Void!" he intoned. Through Hatsume's enhanced eyes, I could just barely see Corvo and Dark Shadow emerge, though Dark Shadow was so big that it dwarfed our robot. I remembered what he said, about how Dark Shadow got stronger but harder to control the darker it was. "Now, my minions of shadow, let us have a true revelry in the dark." Dark Shadow rushed forward, with Corvo riding him and seemingly controlling him, or at least directing him.

Kaminari shot most of his lightning at Dark Shadow, or at least I think that's what happened in the gloom. It wasn't very effective with such poor light, and it seemed that the dark magic was dampening the lightning itself somehow. Dark Shadow raged, knocking back all of the teams. The drain on my MP abated, and the black shroud started to fade away. "Run, Hatsume!" Tokoyami shouted. "Away from Todoroki's team!"

"I can see!" she shouted as the robot started running away. Tokoyami saw Todoroki freeze out the other teams in the confusion and then Iida shouting something. Todoroki made a ramp of ice and Iida shot off faster than I'd ever seen him run before. Tokoyami made to intercept with Dark Shadow, but Todoroki's team sped up even more as the ice at the tip of the ramp exploded, and then Kaminari shot a bolt of lightning at Dark Shadow that stunned it. Yaoyorozu shot a miniature cannon past Tokoyami. I opened my eyes just in time to get hit in the back of my head with the cannonball that shattered my Mana Dome. It didn't hurt, but it was really jarring! Because I'd flinched from the hit, I wasn't able to react in time to stop Todoroki from snatching my headband. Their team landed on a platform of ice, then slid down the slide that Todoroki turned it into.

I took stock. The two skills that I'd learned, Sight Sharing and Technomancy, wouldn't be very useful. However, we already had everything we needed to get that headband back.

"Ditch the robot and go after them, guys!" I shouted. Luckily, Todoroki didn't think to melt the slide. Actually, I couldn't remember him ever using his fire in battle. That probably wasn't a good sign... My teammates jumped into the formation that we'd discussed on the slide, and I used Sonic Embodiment to take my place as the rider. Tokoyami used Dark Shadow to push us down and I used Speed Up on my teammates. Now that I wasn't using Meditate, which didn't let me use Observe while I was using it, Tactician told me that Iida's engines were stalled by whatever special move he'd used. "That move wiped out Iida's Quirk for the rest of the game, so we have a chance! Get me close!"

Uraraka lowered our gravity, letting us run faster. I noticed that the robot was tailing behind us, but I didn't give it much thought. We got within range, and Todoroki's eyes widened as his left arm caught fire, a knee-jerk reaction. I slashed my arm at him with wind mana, blowing his defenses away, then used a light amount of One For All to grab the golden headband. They'd flipped the headbands around and mixed up their order to try and trick us, but with Observe and Tactician that meant nothing to me. "We're flying away!" I shouted, activating the jetpack I hadn't had to use yet in the cavalry battle. Uraraka used a mixture of her Quirk and gravity magic to lift us out of there. Apparently the reason why she got such bad nausea when she used her Quirk on herself was because she was resistant to it, but she didn't have as much of a problem with gravity magic.

"DEKU!" Kacchan screamed at me, flying toward us. It looked like he was back to attacking us...

"Uraraka! My baby!" Hatsume shouted. Uraraka got what she meant immediately and pointed at the two-pointer, which jumped and started using its jets. Uraraka pulled on Bestow again, causing the robot to glow pink and start flying. It intercepted Kacchan, but it looked like Uraraka did the strengthening spell again. This time, though, well...whatever the spell did, it didn't completely solve the problem of Newton's third law of motion. The robot absorbed all of the force, yes, but when it rebounded the force... It was weightless. "MY BABY!" Hatsume shrieked as the robot was repulsed away from Kacchan. I didn't want a giant robot, even a giant robot with the weight of a beach ball, crashing into the stands or even worse the stalls outside, so I grabbed it with Mana Rope and braced myself on an air platform. I swung the robot down to try to take some of the motion off.

"Get on the robot!" I shouted after getting the robot to only be slowly falling. We landed on it and I started meditating again to help with keeping us lightly falling.

"And Team Midoriya are back just in time for the end of the cavalry battle!" Mic-sensei shouted when we touched down. "The game was totally crazy, but now it's OOOOVEEEER!"

"In first place, we have Team Midoriya, clearly," Aizawa-sensei said. "Second place is Team Todoroki, third is Bakugou, and fourth is... it looks like Team Shinsou snatched a few last-minute points. Impressive."

"We'l be taking a lunch break, but we'll move on to the final games after the break, folks! Stay tuned!"

I dropped off of the robot, not waiting for Hatsume to lower it. "Are you okay, Midoriya?" Yaoyorozu asked me, rubbing her elbow.

"O-oh, I'm fine," I reassured her. "I can fall from higher than that without any problem."

"No, I mean from when I shot you. That looked like it hurt..."

I shook my head. "No, no, it was more surprising than anything! My Mana Dome probably took most of the hit, and my Quirk is really overpowered. I think I wouldn't be too hurt if All Might were to punch me in the face."

She nodded. "That's impressive. I still apologize, though. I was aiming to just pop your barrier, but we were going very fast, so..."

"It's fine!"

xoxoxo

After we left to get lunch, Todoroki stopped me and rather forcefully asked to meet me alone. I saw no reason not to, so I followed him to an abandoned hallway. "What did you need me for?" I asked. "Did you get hurt in the caval-"

"I was overwhelmed." He glared at me. "Your power. I only saw it once, but it reminded me of All Might."

"I'm pretty sure All Might doesn't use wind magic. He just punches the air hard enough that it looks like he does."

"I don't mean your magic. You did... something that wasn't magic."

"How did you know?"

"I can sense magic. And that sudden movement you did, it was more like All Might's Quirk than magic."

I blinked. "I'm sorry, did you just say you can sense magic?"

"And considering how All Might seems to be supporting you, I have to ask one thing." I gulped. I didn't know what he was going to say, but he was getting pretty close to the truth... "Are you All Might's secret love child or something?"

I spluttered. "Wow, I wish I was All Might's secret love child! All I know about my dad is that he had some kind of firebreathing Quirk and curly white hair. And that he owes us a lot in child support."

"Regardless, you clearly have some kind of connection to All Might. Just know that I must beat you. You see, my father is an ambitious man. He wanted to be the number one hero, and wasn't even satisfied with second place." His voice became ice cold. "And so he made me to carry out his ambitions."

"What do you mean, 'made you?'" His Quirk involved two separate powers, even stated in Observe to be two Quirks in one body. It reminded me of that Nomu thing...

"Are you aware of Quirk marriages?" Oh. In hindsight that was the more likely conclusion. Probably worse, though. He snarled. "My father used his influence to put pressure on my mother's family, forcing an arranged marriage. It took the bastard four tries, but he finally made me, his masterpiece, and trained me relentlessly. My mother hated my left side. I don't blame her. It's his." I'm not a psychologist or a Quirk counselor... yet... but that seriously did not sound like a good sign, psychologically speaking. "I remember one time, she was talking to someone on the phone, about my left half." Seriously, I could tell Tokoyami was joking whenever he called his power a curse, but it seemed that Todoroki genuinely felt that the entire left half of his body and the power it gave him was some sort of... well, curse. "She saw me, and threw boiling hot water at me face, as you can see. As you've probably noticed by now, my left side is heat-resistant, but not fireproof."

"Yeah, I may not have a fire Quirk, but I still have some weak fire resistance from my dad. Speaking of which, I suddenly feel very grateful my jackass firebreather dad was an absent jackass firebreather father."

"I envy you for your absent parent."

"You know, if you want I could try to heal that scar? It's obviously tied to some serious trauma, and I figure not seeing it in the mirror would ease some of the pain?"

He shook his head. "No. My purpose was to tell you this: I plan to deny my father the satisfaction of using his fire. I'll defeat you without ever using my left side again, this I can promise you." He started to walk off, leaving me in thought.

I Flash Stepped behind him a moment later and put my hand on his right shoulder. "You do realize I'm going to have to report this, right?"

His head whipped back. "What?"

"One of the stipulations of Shuzenji-sensei's training program. If I find evidence of any of my classmates being abused, I'm to report it to her or another teacher, with or without their permission. Even if I wasn't, though, I wouldn't just take that and say nothing. What kind of hero would I be if I learned my classmate was being abused and didn't say anything?"

"I appreciate the offer, but Endeavor's influence is too much. He always boasts how, if we did do anything, he'd have his people on it." He shuddered. "And then he'd punish us."

"Have you ever actually done anything?" I asked.

"I just said-"

"You said what he told you," I corrected. "A few years before Endeavor's debut, there was, obviously, another hero in the number two spot. Undertow. He had a flashy, powerful water Quirk that let him shoot water from any part of his body, and lots of it. To be honest, it'd be pretty funny how similar he was to Endeavor if it didn't extend to the point of abusing his daughter in the form of 'training.' Apparently, he even married a telekinetic so he could get a child with hydrokinesis, much like with your situation."

"What happened?"

"It took a while, but Undertow's sister reported him. She'd known for a while, but he'd threatened to... do something to his daughter if she did." I wiped a giant tear from my eye and sniffed. "It wasn't publicized much, because people were afraid that a pro of that ranking turning out to have done something like that could've triggered massive unrest, but Undertow was arrested and some of his charges were released, enough that nobody would question the arrest. He's still behind bars today." I smiled. "And at the same time I'm sure All Might would be willing to help you if he heard what happened, and I doubt that the influence of the number two hero outstrips that of the symbol of peace."

Todoroki nodded. "I'll take your word for it. Though, how do you know about Undertow if, as you said, the whole story was suppressed?"

"My grandmother told me about it." I used some magic on my tear ducts, causing a massive amount of water to pour from them. Then I wiped off my face and shirt because I didn't put any pressure into it, making the water dribble all over me. "She didn't want me to repeat her mistake."

Todoroki blinked. "Wait, so are you saying-"

"Undertow is my great uncle, yes. We don't talk about him much, though, because of the whole, ah..."

"I see. You have my condolences. If I may ask, would it be possible for you to get me in contact with Undertow's daughter?"

I rubbed the back of my head. "Ah... that won't be possible, unfortunately. For one, she kind of hated my grandmother? Okay, not exactly hate per se but, well... Grandma didn't blame her, what with how she didn't say anything about the abuse for a while. And I think Undertow made it worse somehow..."

"When was the last time I talked to my siblings..." Todoroki muttered.

"Yeah, child abuse is pretty awful," I said. "Anyway, I think she reached out to my mom a few times, but... well... Then she died..."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

I shrugged. "I didn't even know her. Well, I didn't know her personally. I knew a lot about her. She was actually a pro hero."

"Was that... how she..?"

I gave him a small nod. "The hero duo Water Hose. A husband-and-wife pair. About two years ago, they sacrificed themselves to take out a dangerous villain with a powerful enhancement Quirk. But enough about my messed up family. I won't force you to go to Shuzenji-sensei now, but when the sports festival is over we are talking to him, even if I have to drag you there myself."

He grunted. "Fine. If it will really destroy my father, then I'll happily talk to Shuzenji-sensei."

"That's probably not quite the healthiest thing to say, but it's better than not telling anyone about the abuse, so I'll let it slide," I muttered. Todoroki shrugged and started to walk off. This time I let him.

xoxoxo

A/N: Okay, so originally Undertow wasn't going to be related to Deku, but then I remembered that I said that his grandmother had a water Quirk and decided that he'd probably have reason to know about this guy if grandmother dearest told him about her evil twin. I mean, hero-nerd Izuku would probably know about the guy even without being related to him, but there's the reason for him to know the censored bits.

[winchester-ofthe-lord]

Classic Winchester Adventures - Chapter 3

Square Filled: Cassette Collection

Rating: gen

Warnings: Dean’s interesting eating habits, all da feels?

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: What do unicorn-clouds, the Smurfs and a giant ball pit have in common?

read on ao3     read from the beginning

A/N:  hiya guys, this is chapter 3 of the Classic Winchester Adventures, filling the bingo square "Cassette Collection" of @spnclassicbingo 's challenge. I had an absolute blast writing this chapter, I laughed, I cried, I puked in my mouth a little. I hope you like it, please let me know what you think and stay tuned for the next chapters :)

The clattering of crockery and cutlery mixes with the cheerful, nevertheless serene voices in the well-patronized diner. It's just after eight in the morning and Dean gives a tired yawn. He tries to cover it with his palm though, before shoving a bite of his blueberry pancake into his mouth, moaning contentedly around the fork, his eyes closed.

“Should I give you two a little privacy?” Sam takes a sip of his coffee and grins over the rim of his steaming cup. He places it next to his plate with avocado toast with egg, of which he takes a generous bite.

“You’re just jealous because your food looks like someone already ate and then threw it back up again,” Dean scoffs and moans once again around a mouthful of his delicious pancake. He waves the fork around, pointing vaguely at the remains of his dish and, mouth still full and split into a wide smile, says “This tastes friggin’ awesome, man.”

Sam heaves a slightly frustrated sigh and looks at the amused grin on his brother’s face, swallows politely before he answers, “Y’know Dean, if you gave it a try you’d realize it actually tastes pretty good.” The taller man eyes the unappetizing mess of squished blueberries in batter, drowning in syrup on Deans plate and adds, “And well… my food is, in contrast to your…’awesome’ pancake, at least healthy.”

“Uh-huh,” the older brother huffs disapprovingly and shoves the next, maybe a little too big forkful into his mouth, smearing syrup all over his right cheek in the process. A drop of sticky golden liquid sugar slowly travels down his jaw, pauses at his chin for a brief moment and leaves Dean’s face. It splashes onto the front of his flannel where it creates a dark stain, syrup slowly seeping into the fabric, diameter growing by the minute.

Sam observes his brother in awe - his pleased grin, stuffed round cheeks, the way he’s chewing contentedly on his pancake while humming in enjoyment, happy crinkles around his closed eyes, completely oblivious to the mess on his face and shirt… it’s official, he’s an actual squirrel.

The younger brother snorts a laugh through his nose and shakes his head before he turns his eyes back to the laptop screen next to his plate, and takes another bite of his avocado toast.

“Hey Dean,” Sam clears his throat and swipes toast crumbs off his mouth with a napkin, “Before we’re driving to that ‘Haunted Motel’... y’know, it’s still more than two weeks until the thirteenth, so technically we’d have time for another case.” He glances up to his brother who just finished the last remnants of his pancake, now washing it down with a gulp of his, most likely cold, coffee. His brows knit into a deprecating frown as he puts his empty cup back on the table.

“Uh… yeah, sure,” Dean scrubs a hand over his face, a little surprised at his fingers sticking to his cheek. He holds his syrupy hand in front of his face, apparently contemplating whether he should wipe the gluey sugar on a napkin or rather lick it from his fingers. When he sees Sam’s judgingly raised eyebrows, he decides on the former, cleaning both his hand and his face thoroughly. “So-” he puts down the napkin and devotes all his attention back to Sam- “the case?”

“Right...” Sam thrusts his plate aside and pulls the laptop in front of him instead, eyes quickly skimming the screen. “So, there’s been a few articles in the local newspaper. Relating… weird stuff.”

“Weird stuff? Uh… can you be a little more precise, maybe?”

The taller man purses his lips into a tight smile when the waitress appears at their table to refill their empty mugs, and throws a muttered ‘thank-you’ at her retreating back.

He turns to face Dean again and starts, “So get this. There are reports about things like… the sky being green and the grass blue on one day. Or clouds in the most ridiculous shapes. There was a witness who mentioned a-” He reads the next part right from the screen, quoting the witness word for word- “a ‘unicorn-cloud bouncing across the sky’.”

Dean snorts into his coffee, shoots his brother an amused, curious grin, “A what now?”

“‘Unicorn-cloud’” Sam repeats, suppressing a smile. “Another day all the cars in that town were replaced by toy cars, few weeks later the school looked like a castle in a fairy tale and some houses were turned into some really interesting shapes.” He turns the laptop screen towards Dean to show him tiny pictures of the colorful, bulbous houses and receives an irritated frown.

“One day the lake was covered in foam, like a giant bubble bath. Then another day there was the-” This time not even Sam has the self-restraint to stifle his laugh- “smurf gang and apparently they were running around the town and told everyone they’re trying to escape a giant cat called Azrael and his owner Gargamel.

“Another day, about a month later, every time somebody clapped their hands it became dark as night, and when they clapped again it was day again.” Sam pauses to take a swig of his coffee, his tongue poking out between his teeth afterwards as he chuckles slightly.

“Welp, sure does sound like our kind of weird,” Dean says and snatches the laptop from Sam to read through the articles himself. Maybe his brother’s just messing with him again.

Still cradling the cup in his hands, Sam adds, “Thing is, these... incidents don’t follow a particular pattern, there’s no recognizable structure. They seem to happen arbitrarily. Completely at random intervals.”

“How come we only hear about that stuff now?” the older Winchester wants to know, looking up from the screen and absentmindedly taking a sip of his coffee.

“Well, nobody’s been hurt yet. So far it’s only been pretty innocuous and-” Sam points at the picture of a panicky, tiny blue gnome with a white hat on the laptop and snickers- “to be honest, rather funny things. Also, these, let’s call them phenomena last, as far as I got it right, only one day each.”

Dean flips the laptop shut and empties his coffee in one go. He fishes a few dollar bills out of his wallet and jams them between the empty cup and the tabletop as he pushes himself up, “Well, let's just be on the safe side then. What’d you say where this town was?”

Two days later, Sam and Dean are standing in front of a big, although sort of inconspicuous house. There’s a huge wooden sign in the front yard, colorful and elegantly curved letters saying ‘Nancy’s Home for Children’.

They walk past the sign, gravel crunching under their feet, as Dean straightens the cuff on his dress shirt sleeve that’s peeking out of his FBI jacket.

They’d spent the time since their arrival investigating the previous phenomena, questioning witnesses and even talked to the mayor, until they found out that all incidents are somehow related to one single place - the town’s foster home.

“As it’s most probably a witch... you got your ring?” Sam asks when they reach the door, already holding up his fist to knock.

Dean raises his right hand and wiggles his fingers, showing off the silvery shining iron ring he put on for this very purpose, “Yep.” What is it with monsters and their aversion for iron anyway? He nods towards the sign in the yard as his brother knocks on the door, “So, you think this is some kind of Mary Poppins or Nanny McPhee thing?”

“I don’t know, Dean. That’s why we’re here and we’ll just ask politely,” Sam deadpans and clothes his face in his typical fake courtesy FBI agent smile, before he turns back to the door, waiting for it to open.

“Oh God, no. Please no clowns!!!” Sam shakes his head frantically and waves his hands around in a defensive gesture. Desperately seeking help he looks at Nancy and shakes his head once more for emphasis, sheer panic in his eyes.

Nancy, the foster mother and part-time witch as they found out about an hour ago, reaches out with a soothing hand and places it on Sam’s arm, “No clowns, don’t worry.” She smiles fondly at the man on her couch and glances over to his brother, one of her eyebrows raised in question.

“Naw dammit, why not, Nancy?” one of the two kids in the room complains loudly as he throws both his arms exaggeratedly into the air and sinks down onto his seat with a sulky sigh, before he crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Hey,” the brunette woman cautions with a raised finger, “I said no swearing, Tim, you know that.” She pats his knee and strokes his cheek with her index finger in a quick motion, “Because you already made your wish, and I think Sam here-” Nancy cocks her head towards the taller Winchester who still looks a little frightened- “doesn’t seem too happy about clowns. You said you wanted both of them to be here tomorrow, so we gotta accept his request and leave the clowns out.”

Dean clears his throat to drag the boy’s attention and leans forward, propping his elbows on his knees while he starts talking, “Y’know Tim, Sammy here ain’t a big fan of clowns, but I’m sure we’re gonna have fun even without ‘em, okay?” He puts on a wide grin and winks at the now also smiling boy in front of him.

“Ugh, fine,” Tim says, gets up and points at Sam. “But you’re coming tomorrow, aren’t you?!” he adds in a demanding tone, causing the younger Winchester to nod in response and smile as well. Tim leaves the living room in a haste, now that he’s got what he wanted, and drags the other kid, Ella as she told them earlier, along with him.

“Sorry, he can be a little difficult sometimes.” Nancy turns back to face Sam and Dean again, her beaming blue eyes focussing on the latter as the corners of her mouth curl upwards.

“No problem, really,” Dean reassures her and licks over his bottom lip, mirroring her flirting smirk.

They realized that Nancy was the witch as soon as they entered her house and she reacted to Dean’s iron ring when they shook hands. That’s why they immediately dropped their FBI fassade and did some straight talking instead.

That’s why they also realized that Nancy was by no means one of the evil, obnoxious representatives of her kind, but actually quite the opposite. That she’s nothing but friendly and warm-hearted, loving and caring towards her foster children.

Nancy explained how she’d always had magical abilities, that her family had taught her how to use them, but that they wanted her to harm other people, to do black magic. She, however, didn’t want to hurt anyone, so she left her coven and started a new family, in a new town - with her foster kids. She wanted to be good.

Despite his usual reluctance regarding witches, Dean couldn’t help but sympathize with her. The beautiful long brown hair, the errand strands that fall into her pretty face whenever she cocks her head in that adorable way, her radiant, bright blue eyes, her athletic figure and her mesmerizing smile might have played a crucial role in his decision making process. A fact he’d never admit to his brother though.

Nancy only ever uses her witchcraft for the sole purpose of birthday presents, she explained further. Whenever it’s one of her fosterling’s birthdays, the kid can make one wish for this special day, on condition that it serves other people in equal measure.

Which might be the reason why the whole town’s been affected more often than not.

“Nancy, I’m afraid you gotta stop this,” Sam told her earnestly when she finished talking. “Someday someone might get hurt. Or other hunters will find you, and I’m not sure if they are as reasonable and-” he stopped to glare at his brother who was currently balancing a tiny basketball on his forehead, while three overly excited children applauded at his remarkable trick and laughed hysterically- “mature as we are...”

In the end, they agree that Nancy could keep using her magic, but should restrict it to a small area around the foster home and shield it from the rest of the town, so as not to drag even more attention to the untypical spectacles.

They also agree, at the children’s urgent entreaty, that the Winchesters will stay and celebrate Paul’s birthday with the whole foster family the next day - much to Dean’s delight.

Nobody wants to tell Dean or Sam what Tim had actually wished for. “It’s a surprise,” the boy declares proudly, showing off his toothy grin. Well… at this very moment it isn’t that toothy, as two of his front teeth are missing, but still he seems exceedingly happy. At least it gives him an adorable lisp.

The brothers say goodbye to the lively gang and drive back to their motel, both equally full of anticipation and perhaps even a little fear at the same time.

It’s almost ten am the next day as the Impala pulls up in front of ‘Nancy’s Home for Children’ and comes to a stop. Dean turns the ignition, he and his brother open their respective doors at the same time. Both their faces lighten up when they already hear children screaming and laughing in excitement, even though they’re still on the other side of the road.

Once again they walk past the big sign and knock on the door. When nobody opens after several minutes of waiting, they decide to round the building to get to the backyard where all the happy noises seem to come from.

“C’mon Sam, Nancy promised not to get any clowns, I think you’re safe,” Dean says with a chuckle when Sam hesitates for a second in front of the garden gate.

As soon as they reach the back porch they’re greeted by three kids almost running right into them, followed by Nancy’s warning voice about someone named Tyler being responsible that nobody gets hurt.

“Kids,” she mutters under her breath, shaking her head, giggling to herself. “Oh hey, Sam, Dean, glad you could make it!” Nancy offers them a warm smile and gives both men a brief once over, “What, no fake FBI suits today?”

Before either of the brothers can answer, they get interrupted by a loud announcement of Tim who sprints past them, taking a speedy run-up, “CANNONBALL!” and jumps into the giant ball pit that replaced the creek that usually passes through the backyard. Small plastic balls in all colors of the rainbow explode into the air as his small body gets devoured by the colorful hole in the floor. He bursts through the surface with a high-pitched, excited shriek and climbs out of the pit, running straight towards the grown ups on the porch.

“Hey there, Tim.” Sam says and emits a dull ‘hmmpf’ when the little boy crashes into him, throwing both his arms around the taller Winchester’s waist in pure delight. Sam ruffles a large hand through the boy’s auburn hair, coaxing a joyful laughter from him.

“Did you see my super duper cannonball?” All three adults nod excessively in affirmation, wide smiles on every of their faces.

Tim turns to Dean and hugs him as well, although not as racily as he did with Sam, now that he’s not running anymore.

“Happy Birthday, Tim,” Dean congratulates and scoops the squeaking boy up into his arms, “How old are you now?”

The kid holds up both hands, showing six fingers to the two men. “I’m six!” Tim states, lisp strong on the first and last letter of the word, and he thrashes around in Dean’s arms, struggling to get down on the floor again.

The second his feet meet the floor, he grabs Sam’s hand and drags him through the back door and into the house, “I gotta show you-” The rest of the sentence gets swallowed as the door falls closed, causing both Dean and Nancy to chuckle slightly.

“So, a giant bouce house, huh?” Dean asks, peaking through one of the windows to watch several kids jumping around the living room. He huffs a laugh when he sees Sam being pulled into their middle, surrounded by two toddlers, Tim, one kid around the age of ten and two teenagers who shoot him an apologetic grin.

“Yeah, he wished for the whole house to be turned into a bouncer castle. The ball pit creek was just a little addition I thought might be fun for the kids too,” Nancy says and walks over to a small table with cake and muffins, “Want one?”

Dean gladly takes one of the chocolate covered pastries with sprinkles on top and takes a generous bite, “Nothing like muffins for breakfast,” he mumbles with a contented smile.

He stands next to Nancy who has a worried frown on her face as she looks towards the far end of the back porch. A little girl, the one they met the day before Dean thinks, is sitting on the floorboards, hugging her own knees, while absentmindedly gazing across the yard.

“What’s up with her?” Dean asks Nancy in a calm voice, so the little girl won’t hear him.

“Ella’s only been with us two weeks… She lost her parents in a car accident, and I can’t really get through to her.” Nancy bites down on her bottom lip, her concern about the little girl obviously written in her blue eyes.

Dean swallows the last bite of his muffin and crumples the paper in his hand. “Would it be okay if I tried talking to her?”

“Uhm,” she gives him a irritated look in response. She must see the sincerity and gentleness in his eyes though, because after a few moments of consideration she says, “Yeah, sure. I’m gonna be inside and make sure the mob lets your brother live.”

Dean crosses the porch. “Ella right? Okay if I sit with you?” She nods, the movement only barely noticeable, and the man takes a seat right next to her, letting his eyes roam the beautiful garden.

“How old are you, Ella?” he wants to know. Not the best conversation starter, but it does the job.

“Five.” The little girl turns her head towards Dean and adds, “And a half.”

“Five and a half, wow, so you’re basically almost a grown up, right?” He nudges against her arm, causing a shy giggle into her knees.

“Wanna tell me why you’re not playing with the others?” he asks her with a fond smile.

Ella stops giggling and hugs her knees even more tightly. Several seconds pass until she mumbles, “It’s my mommy’s birthday, too.”

Oh great. Well done, Winchester. Making a small girl even more miserable than she already is.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know that,” he tries to appease, “You miss your parents, huh?” He puts an arm around her shoulders when she, once again, nods into her knees. “Y’know, I lost my mom too.” He doesn’t even know why he’s telling her this, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

She lifts her head and looks at him, teary-eyes, blinking her long lashes repeatedly, “Really?”

“Yeah, I was four,” he says, rubbing soothing circles into her shoulder, “My brother Sammy was only six months old, so he doesn’t really remember her. But I do. And I miss her every single day.”

Ella leans against him, relaxes into his tender embrace, not even looking up. “Every day?” Her voice barely more than a whisper.

“Every day,” Dean repeats. “You never forget your parents. And it’ll always hurt to think about them. But, the thing is, I’ve always had my brother, y’know. He’s my family. And even though your mom and dad can’t be here with you right now, you got a family too. You’ve got Nancy, and Tim, and Tyler, and Jessie... and all the others whose names I can’t remember.”

He can feel Ella’s chuckle against his ribs and goes on, “But Ella, that doesn’t mean you don’t love your parents anymore. Or that you have to forget them. It just means that there are people who care about you, who are there for you when you need them.”

Dean pushes himself off the porch and stretches a hand out for the slightly confused looking little girl, “C’mon, I wanna show you something.”

Dean opens the passenger door for Ella to climb into the car, and then rounds the Impala to get behind her wheel. He quickly rummages through his cassette collection, decides for a Led Zeppelin tape and puts it into the deck.

For a few minutes they just sit and listen to quiet classic rock, until Dean starts talking again. “This was my parent’s car. For my brother and me this is home,” he says. “Whenever I miss them, or I think I might forget them, I just sit in here and remember the time when we were still all together. It’s not the same, I know, but… it’s our home.”

He turns his head towards Ella on the passenger seat, “Do you have something that belonged to your parents?”

Ella nods and fishes a silver necklace out of her shirt collar with careful fingers, “This was my mommy’s.” She holds the little round pendant out for Dean, before her eyes get stuck on the tape deck, a small grin ghosting over her lips, “And my Daddy had a cassette collection like you. I’ve got it under my bed in my room.”

Dean darts her a wide smile in response, “See? They’re always here. Whenever you listen to your dad’s music, he’s right there with you. And-” he points at her necklace- “so is your mom.”

He fumbles for his wallet, flips it open and pulls out the picture of his mom, along with a small piece of paper. It’s slightly crinkled and a little rough and even torn on some places around the edges. “Here.” Dean offers Ella the photo, “This is my mom.”

She takes it, mirrors the smile Mary has on the picture, and runs her fingers gently over the photo, “She’s very pretty.”

“Yeah, she was,” Dean answers. He unfolds the small piece of paper and grins.

“What’s that?” Ella wants to know and leans across the front seat.

“Sammy, my brother, gave this to me when we were teenagers. He said he’d seen the quote and had to think of me, so he wrote it down. I always have it with me. It’s from a guy called Cicero, he said: ‘The life of the dead is placed on the memories of the living. The love you gave in life keeps people alive beyond their time. Anyone who was given love will always live on in another's heart’.”

Dean chuckles at the puzzled expression on Ella’s face, “It means that, as long as we keep thinking of the people we lost, they’re never completely dead.” He points a finger at her chest, “Because they still live inside our hearts.”

They spend the rest of the day jumping around in the bounce house and drowning in the ball pit, eating tons of amazing birthday cake, playing tag and flirting with Nancy - the latter only on the part of Dean.

When they’re about to leave the foster home after dinner - pizza for everyone - Ella tugs on Dean’s flannel sleeve.

Nancy’s smile is even wider than usual as she’s beaming at Dean with a knowing expression. He crouches down to Ella and she hands him a cassette, shyly glancing down at the floor. He takes it from her and reads the heading: ‘Bruce Springsteen - ‘84’.

“That one of your dad’s?” Dean asks her with a broad grin.

Ella’s gaze is still focused on the floor as she hums her response, “Mhm.” She slowly looks up at him and gives him a smile that makes his chest ache, “I want you to have it… so you don’t forget me.”

“Oh geez, thank you, sweetheart.” He pulls her into his arms and hugs her tightly, whispering in her ear, “Your Dad had a great taste in music, y’know.”

“Thank you for talking to her,” Nancy says to Dean when they’re out on the street, standing next to the Impala, “She seems… I don’t know, lighter somehow. I think you actually helped her a lot, so, thank you.” The brunette woman stands up on her tiptoes and cranes her head to place a soft kiss on Dean’s cheek.

The Impala heads off, Sam holding the Springsteen cassette in his hands, “Seems like someone’s got a new girlfriend,” and wiggles his eyebrows to tease his brother.

Dean snatches the cassette from Sam’s hands and glares at him in feigned offendedness. “You’re just jealous because she likes me better than you. And because I got a present and a peck on the cheek and you didn’t.” He briefly contemplates whether he should stick out his tongue at his younger brother, but then decides against it. He’s a mature, grown up man after all.

“Well, yeah. I mean, while you were flirting with the ladies, I almost threw up, because the kids made me eat like five pieces of cake and then wanted me to jump all around the house.” Sam chuckles to himself, however, which means he’s not really as pissed as he pretends to be.

A few minutes pass in companionable silence until the younger brother speaks up again, “Y’know, I get why she’s doing this. Nancy, I mean. Did you see how happy the kids were? It’s absolutely worth the risk.”

Dean simply nods in response, eyes focused on the street, as they’re headed towards the next motel for the night.

read the next chapter

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[cloudvelundr]

Reciprocate

Cloud receives a package.

... due to the increased risk we would recommend phasing out the E04 models in favour of reverting to series C, or testing any F- and G-series as with the rate of attacks the E series is quickly falling to an irreparable state. We would tentatively recommend the F2-2 [link: specs] F3.4-2 [link: specs] or the G5-B [link: specs] provided that the units do not emit any byproduct noise in the range of the danger frequencies – testing may be required as this is not noted on any available reports. Likewise, the towers in the Thurmir and Jarfast townships are also affected but the already in service F2-0 will be sufficient as they are in a milder climate zo

“Oh la laa! Someone’s been holding out on us!”

Cloud blinked away from his report to where Sebastian was cackling over one of the oversized reusable crates Shinra sent out most of it’s shipments in. He’d heard him in the hall chatting with the delivery team between the steady sound of boxes thumping down but it’d been easy to ignore: he was on a roll and over the summer shipments came every couple days for as long as they could. The delivery guys had cut through the common area to the kitchen – technically the mess but it really didn’t qualify – a little while ago leaving Sebastian to rummage and start whittling the pile away. The current box had a post office stamp.

“Someone sent a dildo,” he wheezed.

The couriers heads popped back in.

A “what?” filtered faintly though the ceiling followed by a thundering across the room into the kitchen and then Paige was pushing in looking delighted. Andy followed more sedately.

“Did I hear mail order sex toys?”

Snerk. “No- well, maybe. I dunno – just saw it.”

“Well let’s see! Who’s it for?”

“Gimme a sec, gimme a sec! It’s under some shit.”

He dove back in under the amused watch of the gathered. Cardboard slithered and he cursed, and started removing packages: “Henry... Mairi... oh, hey, sir got something heavy... ‘nother for Henry.. Tomeo... hmmm... aaaand here we are!”

He popped up triumphantly, whoever’s prize in hand.

At about a foot long it looked like two boxes taped together, one smallish but wide and another narrow and long like a post on a pedestal, it did look like it could be a dick in a box. Sebastian flipped it around to find the label and read it with raised eyebrows.

“Hey blondie, something you wanna tell us?”

Cloud squinted at the package as Sebastian brought it over, their entirely too happy squadmates looking on. He accepted it bemusedly and checked the sender.

Zack. Of course it was Zack. Except it shouldn’t be.

“... This is too soon for vengeance.”

“Come again now.”

Cloud ignored him in favour of diving for his PHS, blinking almost invisibly in the light of the room. What were the odds, he wondered around the growing bubble in his chest. The top message was in fact from Zack.

It said: why are you like this

Underneath was a picture of Cloud’s birthday gift to him, in heavy shipping paper, wrapped in loving detail with remarkable resemblance to a dildo.

Cloud snorted into his hand. Started to giggle. Slid to the floor laughing.

“You okay down there?”

He waved off the concern and offered his phone to someone’s hand while he pulled himself upright, amusement still bubbling.

Somewhere behind him Paige started snickering.

“I was gonna ask who does that, but apparently you do.”

A quick flick of keys revealed something somewhat lumpy, brightly wrapped in confetti printed birthday paper, sharing the same shape as it’s box so he pulled it out and lay them side by side.

“Alright give me my phone.”

He took a picture and sent it.

you’re one to talk

and that’s not your coffee table

i sent it to your apprtmt why are you opening it on base

The reply was almost immediate.

i may have forwarded my mail

i’m in icicle for two more weeks but mom was sending cookies

And then the phone rang.

“Zack I swear if there’s chocobo underwear in this thing it doesn’t matter where you are I will find a way to hurt you.”

“Dammit I knew I forgot something.”

There was an echoing quality to his voice. Other voices were chuckling a little too loudly in answer.

“... You’re on speaker phone aren’t you?”

“No point pretending the peanut gallery can’t hear us.”

“Point,” he agreed and switched his as well in favour of poking his gift. There was something hard and brickish wrapped in the not-underpants. “Anyone I know?”

“Don’t think so? Guys this is Cloud, sender of suspiciously wrapped objects. His birthday’s the week after mine.”

“You mean his name isn’t Spike? You lied to me Fair. I’m hurt.”

“Ivo?”

“Real deep. Right here.”

“Piss off.”

“Seriously though, is it a dildo?”

“No. No it is not.”

“Because it’s really convincing.”

“... In my defence I was bored.”

“You’re sure?”

“Zack, I’m a craftsman. Fake fake dick isn’t hard to do.” Someone laughed again. “Besides, Aer might kill me.”

“’Cause this wrap job’s a work of art.”

“Just open the damn thing.”

“Hear hear!”

“You too, Spike.”

“Please,” Andy leaned on the couch, a smirk colouring her words, “show us what wonders the sad penis holds.”

“Fine, fine – happy birthday, dork.”

“You too, nerd.” Paper ripped. “... of course you wrapped it in puppies and cupcakes. Why did I think you wouldn’t.”

“I have a giant roll of that stuff,” It was a rather lovely pastel blue too. Cloud hefted his gift and considered where to start, “I’ll using it for years.”

Cloud heard Zack sigh before another heavy rip and rustle came over the speaker, and decided to open the shaft before the heavy thing could escape on it’s own – already he could see holes where the corners were trying to work their way free. When he ripped in it tried to anyway, nearly slipping free in an explosion of obnoxious sport socks.

The audience pouted.

“Aw, no dildo.”

“Nice whetstone though.”

“Did you have to pick the most eye peeling socks you could find?”

“Duh. Did you have to use duct tape?”

“Well how else was I supposed to attach the banana to the egg thing?”

“He’s got you there, Fair.”

“Why would anyone even need a two egg travel case.”

“Lunch? Hard boiled is a thing.”

“You could put the cream egg things you like in them.”

“Point.”

Click.

“Score! Banana has candy!” A patter of little thumps.

“Of course you immediately dump them.”

“Mmm. Where did you get the fruit things?” Zack asked, clacking one against his teeth, “I can never find them.”

“Places.”

“That’s helpful.”

“I aim to serve,” he replied, plucking at the remaining wrapping.

“Pff. Liar.”

The paper gave way to another pair of socks – the thickest, fluffiest he’d ever seen, and probably the first he’d wear out come winter – which were bundled around a small, flat plastic case. The clasp was stiff but snapped open to reveal game data cards.

“Awesome,” Cloud grinned. The new Tales of Zelig was first up. “I know what I’ll be doing all winter. Thanks!”

“You’re welcome! Two of them were already yours though – I grabbed them when I put the cases with your stuff.”

“Thanks, I didn’t realize I’d forgotten them.”

“No prob.”

“Now finish yours.”

“Yeah, crack open your balls, Fair.”

“That sounds wrong,” Paige muttered. Cloud thought he might’ve flinched.

Sebastian sniggered. “Psssh. It’s hilarious and your know it.”

There was a popping noise and a pause.

“Dude.”

“Cloud, are these what I think?”

“Are they spawns of the materia you keep threatening to steal? Yeah. Yeah they are.”

“You meme loving fuck, I am going to lord this over Genesis forever.”

“Does the commander not have them?”

“No, they’re super rare. Like how you even have them I don’t know.”

Cloud sat back, pensive. “Really? ‘Cause I literally just... found them.”

“Because your luck is stupid. Man, I have only ever even heard of like three Knights, and yours is one. There was a Turk sharpshooter who had one but it went missing when he did.”

“And the last one?” asked one of the couriers.

“There’s supposed to be a green mage on one of the Goblin Islands. Don’t know who it is but even Genesis won’t touch them. But you just found it on a scree. And the water-healing thing- you said you woke up on the way to Midgar and saw it in the bushes but it doesn’t even have a name.”

“Huh.”

“So yeah, it’ll piss Gen off so much. It’s gonna be great.”

“You’re nuts.”

“He’s not like the rumours – the Firaga Incident didn’t actually happen.”

Paige and the delivery guys looked dubious.

“Yeah, I haven’t met him but his men are stupid loyal. You don’t get that by being the crazy who lights your people on fire.”

“These materia probably wouldn’t cooperate with him though. He’s more dark red and these are definitely white and light. He’ll still be jealous as Hel.”

“Now you just have to keep Treasure Princess away.”

There was a pause.

“Treasure Princess, Fair?”

“... Shit. She will won’t she.”

Cloud started laughing quietly into his hand.

“You had ulterior motives, didn’t you?”

“No- I forgot about her until just now. She only really bothers you. But you’ve got to admit it’s funny.”

“I guess.”

“Oh stop pouting.”

“I am not p-”

“He totally is.”

“Traitor.”

“Well,” Andy stood and stretched, “thank you boys for the entertainment, but some of us need to get back to preparing for patrol.”

There was a sudden cursing from the phone: “Shit, us too.”

“Come on Paige. Happy birthday Fair.”

“And Cloud, gift wrapping champion. You guys deserve each other.” The other voices echoed.

“Thanks peanut gallery.” Cloud replied to fading sounds of their movements and switched the PHS back to his ear as his squad wandered back to wherever they had been. The couriers had vanished. He could hear the sound of candy wrappers shuffling as Zack gathered the treats from wherever he’d dumped them. “You too?”

“Yeah. They’re my team – there’s marlboro breeding grounds sprung up nearby.”

“Ew.”

“No kidding.”

“Still, good birthday?”

“It was alright. Quiet. One of the guys bought a cake – it was actually fantastic. But... I’d rather been home.”

“Hmm,” Cloud agreed, arranging his own things on his computer to move. The report could wait a bit. “Same. I think Adam is threatening to bake something, but.”

“Yeah.”

“Still, not a bad place to spend it.”

“And not bad company either.”

“No – the looks I got for that package though.”

Snerk. “It’s the baby-face,” Zack said. “They forgot you’re twenty and a little shit.”

“No, they know that,” Cloud replied, sliding past Sebastian and into the hall.

Sebastian looked up and grinned, “Yeah, it’s ‘oh god our next captain is the kind of guy who sends dildo shaped presents.’”

“Yeah. That.”

“But he also warks back at chocobos, calls anything vaguely canine a puppy, was probably responsible for the glitter ATVs, and is generally a massive nerd, so I don’t know why we’re surprised.”

Zack was laughing again.

Cloud groaned and kept going. “You both suck.”

“Heh. Anyway, I really gotta go now. I’ll try to call you again soon.”

“Alright, say hi to Aerith for me?”

“Will do! And I’ll find you those chocobo boxers!”

“Zackary Fair, Don’t You Fucking Da-” Cloud cut off at the dial tone: “And he’s gone. Jerk,” he murmured fondly and with a shake of his head made his way to his room.

Stuffing the socks in a drawer and the stone with his maintenance supplies, Cloud settled into his desk and flipped his computer back open. And paused. And closed it again.

He reached for the little case, and flicked through it’s contents. It was mid August, still summer most places but there cooling soon and much work blowing in on the wind. It could well be winter before he got another truly quiet hour.

“Try’n’a spoil me,” he murmured, and slotted one into his console instead.

The report could wait.

[philthevaliant-stuff]

Giant!Danny Phantom x Reader Short Story: “Passing Storm, Lingering First Encounter”

Here’s that story I’ve promised you. I know that some of you might be interested in this, though I’ve been surprised before and no doubt I’ll be surprised again. Nevertheless, enjoy yourself!

The first few drops of rain began to fall as you hurried to the abandoned hangar on the outskirts of town. Reaching the awning of the small door to the office built-in to the massive building, you panted and brushed the sweat off your forehead as you studied the text on your phone again:

If u know about us as much as our friend thinks u do, plz come 2 the hangar. Our friend saw u last night. He knows u can help him.

Placing your hand on the doorknob, you recalled what had happened to you last night...

That was when the solar eclipse took place. You had chosen a good spot to see it, and you were wearing special eclipse shades. As you felt the eclipse creep in behind you and the unnatural darkness enveloping everything around you, you could swear you saw the flickering of green light several miles away and heard two light booming noises, one after another, like a giant taking two steps forward.

If only you weren't safety-conscious, you would have seen a portal open up in the heart of the eclipse. You would have seen three figures emerge from that portal. You would recognize one to be Sam Manson, her eyes closed to prevent the light from hurting her eyes; the other to be Tucker Foley, his PDA in one hand, his eyes closed too. Both of them were wearing futuristic space gear.

But through that flicker of green light, you at least saw the outline of ... him. The one you've had a crush on the longest. Danny Phantom. But there was something different about him. Despite being completely invisible to everyone around him, he was at least 50ft tall. Technically. You didn't really know his real height for sure to make the necessary calculations.

And little did you know, until you got the text half an hour ago, that Danny sensed your spirit among all those taking part in the eclipse, and while you were tracing the shape of the solar eclipse on a piece of paper, he gained a sense of the world you lived in, of how he and his friends were fictional characters here; how pleasantly modern and up-to-date everything was here; how dark and foreboding the future of this world is...

"(y/n)!"

Sam's voice jolted you to your senses and back to the present day. The drops of rain from before were now joined by several more as a light drizzle now fell from the heavens.

"You're gonna get soaked if you stand around outside like this! Come inside, quickly, before anyone else sees us. And don't tell the supermarket about the theft!"

'Don't tell the supermarket about the theft'!? As if talking to a real life cartoon character was enough to pose a lot of questions...! But you followed Sam through the door nevertheless, and into the office, pleasantly lit since it was out of town so no one could notice. You saw Tucker working on both his PDA and a laptop, a noticeboard on the wall in front of you covered with notes and drawings of planets. To the left of you was a pair of double-doors leading into the hangar itself.

"Hey, Tucker! (y/n) is here." instructed Sam to her friend. "Best give (y/gen) the info on how we got here."

Tucker looked up and noticed you. Smiling, he waved before picking up his PDA and directing your gaze to the noticeboard.

"Danny told us everything about you and your world as soon as we came here." he primarily said. "How?" you asked. "He has ghost powers, remember? He gazed into your spirit and got the 411 instantly. We've dealt with stuff like your species before, so we know you can keep Danny's secret safe. But something happened a while back that jeopardizes it to the extreme!" "The whole '50 foot Danny' thing, right?" "Yeah. We were on a mission, catching ghosts, saving people, cracking jokes... the usual. But then Danny's pituitary gland started up a growth spurt, and the next thing we knew, Danny kept growing... and growing... and growing!" began Tucker. "He was becoming a danger to everyone around him." Sam added. "Not even 'going ghost' could stop the growing. We decided to take Danny under our wing and figure out how to stop the growth process. I mean, his parents were freaking out, we had to do something!" "Eventually, after we acquired these space suits for just such a situation, he outgrew our universe and wound up 50ft tall again in the Ghost Zone. Our enemies were ... less than pleased to say the least of our arrival, but we found that his growing was now limited to growth spurts of about 50ft each time. At least at first. But when he reached the 500ft mark, those spurts increased to 100ft each time. Then they went to war with us, but Danny outgrew the Ghost Zone as well." "Tucker thinks that if we find an atmosphere with the right ingredients, Danny's growth spurts could be controlled better, and from there we can find an antidote and return him back to normal. But so far he's outgrown 3 additional universes to the last two!"

You looked at the planets on the Post-It Notes stuck on the noticeboard. They had been arranged in the order that Danny's journey had progressed up to now. The first one had a drawing of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but with an additional female member joining their ranks ("They had a bit of SHELLSHOCK when Danny became mega-sized!" exclaimed Tucker); the second planet had a drawing of what looked like Power Rangers, but with the year '1985' marked on it ("They're called the Lightning Rangers, and it turns out that Ghost Powers and Aura Power don't mix." stated Sam); the last had a picture of a blue hedgehog and a group of animals labelled 'Freedom Fighters' on it. ("Yeah, I'm sure your universe has a different explanation for how that one ended." Tucker said nervously. "Let's just say that Chaos Emeralds are definitely NOT edible!")

"Wow!" you exclaimed. "You've been to so many worlds already." "Yeah," Sam sympathized, "and we'll keep going for as long as it takes. We'll find a solution some day. How, I don't know. Though for now, it's you that we need, (y/n)." "Me? How can I help?" "Danny knows how much you admire him and how you value the importance of friendship." Tucker explained. "As you probably can figure out from my crude drawings, we have made lots of friends who helped us try and keep Danny's growth spurts under control. But no matter how many power sources we found and used, all of a sudden they became afraid of us and Danny and wanted him destroyed. So those friends we made became enemies just like that."

(He snapped his fingers to emphasize the point.)

"But when Danny gazed into your soul to see what sort of world you lived in," Sam chimed in, "he saw a level of love and kindness that wasn't really present in those groups before. We think you can help look after him and keep him a secret from the authorities, at least until we've done our research on your planet. (y/n), can you help us?"

Brushing the euphoric tears away from your eyes, your mind analyzed the situation: two of your favourite cartoon characters have stumbled onto the Real World, and not only have they gone through more trouble than they encountered back in their world, but they need you, yes you, to help Danny out, because of how much you cared for them when watching the show at home. Considering how charming and handsome he was in his normal size, it would be a heavenly sight to meet him in the black-outlined flesh for the first time.

"I'll do all I can to help you." you said eventually. "But trust me when I say this: you've come at an awkward time. Society as a whole is being divided; wars are being fought; the world could go up in flames any second! If we fail and Danny becomes mega- or even giga-sized, he could become part of World War III, and I don't think even his ghost powers could save all of us this time. We mustn't waste a second. How is he at the moment?"

Tucker looked at his PDA, scrolling through the screen with the stylus.

"By my calculations, since we came here last night, he grew another 50ft at midday, so that's 100ft... and considering the time of day... he's about 120ft tall. He's got enough food and water for the evening, though we might need to make another raid tonight. The hangar's height is sufficient enough for us to camp out here for tonight and quite possibly the next night. After that, we need to find a shelter in America big enough for us to make a new base..."

Sam drew your attention to the double-doors. (At last!) "Tucker's gonna be a while coming back down to Earth." she apologized. "But if you can make Danny feel welcome here to your planet, I can keep an eye on things at the office. Just be careful where you step, in case he doesn't see you. If you need us for anything, there's a call box thingy on the wall. Press the button and we'll be able to hear you from here. By the way, is this planet haunted?" "If you mean 'have we got ghosts?', then yeah. Though they seem content to moan and wail and knock things to the floors. As far as I'm aware, they aren't as deadly as the ones in your world. Why?" "Just monitoring his ghost powers. If your world had really bad ghosts, then we need to make sure he doesn't cause any collateral damage. I swear, if I see another angry mob wielding pitchforks and torches...!"

By now, the rain outside was coming down in bucket-falls, and you could hear thunder and lightning brewing some miles away.

Drawing a deep breath, you push through the double-doors and allow yourself to behold the wondrous sight before you.  Sitting down on the floor, the length of his legs covering almost the entire length of the hangar, was Danny Fenton himself, his shoes gently leaning on the wall to the far right. He was in his normal persona, the bottom of his giant white shirt billowing peacefully against the breeze of the fans in the ceiling, which also gently blew on the forest of black hair on his head. As your common sense battled against the volcanic build-up of pure romantic glee in your body, you noticed that he was sucking on the back of a juggernaut held between his fingers, like eating tubed yogurt, while next to him was a huge milk tanker with a makeshift giant straw poking out of the hole on its back. You notice the logo of your local supermarket festooned on the sides of the truck. If you were able to run round to Danny's other side, you would have noticed an empty Cadbury truck and two other juggernauts advertising the supermarket, one carelessly tossed onto its side like a discarded carton.

So THAT'S what they meant by 'raids' and 'thefts' earlier! It was quite obvious to you now that, because of Danny's new size, his appetite had grown as big as his body. Thus, the trio had to 'borrow' a couple of juggernauts from the supermarket's stores just to keep him well-fed and watered. You realize with a touch of sadness what they now have to go through just to keep everyone alive and Danny safe from harm.

"Hello." you squeaked, though you didn't intend to start off your conversation that way. Had you five more minutes to prepare, you would've gone for something better and perhaps more lively. Something to lighten the mood, perhaps? No matter...

The giant Danny's gaze shifted from his food supply to the tiny person below him. Giving out a contented (but loud) burp in the direction of the wall his feet were now resting on, he gently shifted part of himself towards you. A wave of uncertainty washed over you like a cool tidal wave made by the beach's waters on a mild summer's day.

"Hey there." he said, the volume of his voice echoing in your ears as his eyes now scanned your body over. WOOSH! Another wave of uneasiness splashed over your spine. You walked closer to him as you tried to come up with a word describing the reaction of seeing your beloved cartoon character interacting with real world objects like that film with the rabbit in, only this time he was bigger than nearly all of them (and you) there. A LOT bigger...

"Listen, my name is love and I've been a (y/n) of your show and I really Danny you, fan." you blurt out loud, the handsome sight of the giant before you obscuring your mind’s processing power for just a few seconds. "No, no, let me start again...."

"It's OK." Danny said gently. "I was like that when I met those turtle guys. They went into space once and met the Lost Galaxy Rangers! Isn't that cool or what?" "No, I think you mean the 'In Space' Rangers." you corrected him. You started to relax. It's OK! He's a bigger nerd than you, you think. Ooops, wrong choice of words.... "I've been into space 5 times already, and it's a totally amazing sight! Though I wish it was in a much better position." he sighed, a warm wave of air scattering through the atmosphere around you. A mixture of foody smells hit your nostrils. "You miss your parents and sister, huh?" you asked, the potential of you debating TV shows and other geeky things with your secret crush put on hold for the moment. Danny nodded. "Look, Tucker and Sam have told me everything about what had happened. They have entrusted me with the task of seeing to it that you get treated right here, on my world. No more ghosts, no more Zords, no more Shredders, no more nuclear weapons aimed at you, no more angry mobs wielding pitchforks and torches!" you announced. "And no more emerald-flavored rock?" Danny raised the smallest of smiles for such a huge hero. "Wait, what? You thought the Chaos Emeralds were crystal-shaped pieces of candy rock?!" you exclaimed, peels of giggling fits emanating between words. "Well, Sonic didn't really say HOW to use them. Plus chili-dogs were kinda giving me gas." Danny admitted.

Danny placed a four-fingered hand down gently next to you, so gentlemanly was the gesture that it didn't make a sound.

"(y/n), why not get a better view from above?" asked Danny. (Was that his best quip for such a moment, you wondered? Wouldn’t “Would you like a lift?” be better-suited?)

You carefully made your way to the hand and scrambled up onto the fingers, then slowly-but-surely made your way to his palm. Danny tried his best not to giggle too much. The contrast between two-and-a-half-dimensional skin and your three-dimensional figure was still unfathomable to describe, but as Danny gently lifted his hand to his face, you got a sense of how much he had grown. Your heart began to palpitate wildly as you saw Danny's cute, angelic face looking down at you with his ocean-blue eyes. No doubt he too was trying to figure out the best word to describe your appearance.

Five, maybe ten, minutes passed. And then...

"They start out like this," began Danny, trying not to raise his voice in case he accidentally busted your eardrums, "all those friends I've made. They've been on my hand before, looking up at me, like you're doing now. And then... then I grow bigger and bigger... and they then look up at me in rage. Then they either attack me with ninja weapons, or giant robots, or by curling up into a ball and launching themselves at me. They fear me. Do you fear me, (y/n)?"

A huge tear formed in the corner of his eye. Not a watery tear like you were accustomed to, but a bright blue cartoony tear. It slid down his face and then fell onto the thrown-away truck with an audible splosh, wetting it. Sam, who had seen Danny saddened by his thoughts from the office window, had come out through the double-doors, just in case you needed back-up. Tucker was still making calculations on his PDA and laptop.

"No." you said softly, gazing up at the forlorn titan. "In all honesty, I could never fear such a gentle and kind giant as you, Danny."

Reaching a hand out, you aimed towards a patch of Danny's face. Instinctively, Danny lowered his face closer. The tiniest touch registered in the half-teen, half-ghost's brain. That was the level of kindness and sincerity he felt when studying your spirit last night! It wasn't just the effects of the eclipse after all!

As for you, brushing the giant's tear-soaked face just felt like brushing the tear-soaked face of any normal human being, but there was something special to it. Something you couldn't describe...

A flash of light interrupted your thoughts, and then...

KAAAABOOOOMMM!!

A roar of thunder surprised you at the last second, sounding like an angry, godly beast. The weather had gotten worse by now. Mist filled the summer's evening as raindrops fell like hissing needles from the sky. You screamed in unpreparedness.

Danny cupped his other hand over you instinctively, letting the shade comfort you.

"Ssh, ssh." he said, gently. "I got you, (y/n), you’re safe; you'll be A-OK." "Thanks." you sighed softly. "I completely forgot about the storm outside." "Sometimes I do that too." Danny admitted. "Though that's not when I'm facing the military or giant robots, or ghosts or talking hedgehogs, or ninja turtles or badly-made mutants, or even...." "Angry mobs wielding pitchforks and torches!" you both exclaimed, laughing at how often that had been brought up over the time you had spent here. "We're not so different, are we?" Danny smiled, now his usual self again. "(y/n), will you come back and stay the night with us? I want to know a little bit more about you and your world, and I know for certain Tucker would, too! Maybe bring some tunes along?" "Yeah, sure." you smiled up at him. (For a while, the heat emitting from Danny's hands was making you drowsy, and you were about to nod off.) "You're welcome to bring a friend along," said Danny, "so long as they promise to keep all this a secret. (y/n), please keep my growth spurts a secret too. Until I can't hide in any more structures, that is. Man, that keeps happening to me lately!" "I know for certain (fellow DP fan's name) would honor your secret as much as I do." you said back as Danny gently lowered you down onto the floor. "Just wait until (fellow DP fan's gender) gets here and sees you!"

Now in the happiest of moods as a life goal had been crossed off your mental list, you happily walked to Sam and Tucker (the latter had finally been aroused from his carefully-worked-out research and scheduling, and had brought coffee for him and Sam). "I'll be back in a few hours with (fellow DP fan's name)." you told them. "We're bound to have the adventure of a lifetime with you guys!"

As you made your way back home, the storm had passed, and a bright blue sky now filled the outside world. Raindrops fell from the awning's corners, and both the atmosphere and your heart told you that, for now at least, a bright personal future lay in store for you and Danny.

The End. (Unless you want me to go on...?)

[robertkstone]

2019 Hyundai Kona Electric and Nexo Review: Two Great EVs, One Hard Choice

As if on cue, almost everybody around our white linen dinner table stops for a simultaneous phone-check; the faces of the journalists and our Hyundai hosts dip into puddles of phone-screen illumination. I’m old enough to find this a strange new custom but … hmm, I see that my pal, Larry, is asking what I’m driving today.

I type back “Hyundai Nexo fuel cell vehicle and the Kona Electric.” A few months ago he banged-up his Mustang and took over the lease of a Mirai as his daily driver because he thought it was a good deal.

“You have no idea how much anxiety the Mirai has given me” he quickly types back. “I believe in Elon Musk now.”

Larry’s really angry. He sends me a screen-cap of a cafcp.org (California Fuel Cell Partnership) map of the hydrogen stations he’s staring at right now. His 24-mile daily drive from West Covina to Rancho Cucamonga (that’s laterally—and literally—right across the L.A. basin) traverses a hydrogen desert with just two oases of H2 that are even close if he doesn’t backtrack.

I cannot imagine this routine. It has me reprocessing everything about what happened today.

Within six hours, I’ve driven two CUVs from the same manufacturer that in my opinion are the best hydrogen fuel cell and affordable battery electric car you can buy. The Nexo’s 354-380-mile range overwhelms the Toyota Mirai’s official 312-miles and is comparable to the Honda Clarity’s 366-miles. The Kona Electric’s 258 miles of range easily short-circuits the Bolt’s 238-mile claim to fame. And even if we set these terrific numbers aside—which of course, you absolutely can’t—they really do drive better than any of their rivals.

So here we have the best of their respective breeds. And I know what you’re probably thinking: ‘Who cares? I wouldn’t buy either one anyway.’

On October 7, that was a sort-of passable answer. On October 8, the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change issued humanity an unequivocal ultimatum: We have about a dozen years to limit the rise in temperature to 1.5 C to avoid the most terrifying consequences of global warming. And even at 1.5 (which we’re racing toward) we’ll still struggle with a lot of pretty bad stuff. To stop it at 1.5, “global net human-caused emissions of carbon dioxide (CO2) would need to fall by about 45 percent from 2010 levels by 2030, reaching ‘net zero’ around 2050.” Debra Roberts, a Co-Chair, said “The next few years are probably the most important in our history.” That includes, let’s see, years like 1939 through 1945, for instance.

Like the Greatest Generation, we’re at war again with a monster. Our 2018 version of 1940’s B17 production lines need to spit out an arsenal of electric cars, and we need to start buying them like they’re war bonds. As of October 8, the Hyundai Nexo and Kona Electric have shifted from dismissible novelty items to crucial solutions. Let me start with the Nexo.

The 2019 Nexo’s top two attractions are that range I mentioned and, unlike the Mirai and Clarity, that it’s shaped into a CUV configuration. The two are connected: although both FCVs (hydrogen fuel cell vehicles) and BEVs (battery electric vehicles) carry very little energy, the barrier to upsizing a BEV’s battery is cost. For FCVs, the problem is figuring out how to package their bulky hydrogen tanks. The Nexo tackles its puzzle by dividing its hydrogen among three identical, cylindrical tanks that are neatly sandwiched under the cargo floor. The tall roofline offers some space to work with (this is an all-new, bespoke FCV platform) and the tank’s uniform size avoids the trunk-lumps imposed by the awkward big-tank/little-tank irregularity of the Mirai and Clarity.

Altogether, the Nexo carries 6.3 kg of 10,000 psi hydrogen, and like Toyota and Honda, Hyundai will initially cover much of the fuel’s high cost (about $17 per kg, with a third of it produced by renewable means). Six-point-three kg of H2 is a lot for a FCV, but it’s actually just the energy equivalent of 6.3 gallons of gasoline. Scared by that number? Welcome to the new math of electric vehicles: the Nexo’s efficient powertrain can convert it into an amazing 380 miles of range—the equivalent of 61 miles-per-gasoline-gallon for the base, 17-inch wheel Blue trim; the heavier, better-equipped, 19-inch wheeled Ultimate travels 354 miles. Two particular details make this particular FCV powertrain distinct: the 95-kW power output of Hyundai’s latest fuel cell has been deliberately reduced (compared to its Tucson-based predecessor) while its battery power rises to 40 kW. It’s a trade-off Hyundai figures is a better balance, letting it inhale more regen energy, and breath acceleration more like a battery-electric car (estimated to be about 9.5 seconds to 60). Anomaly Two is its exchanging the usual, whiney, roots-type air-compressor (pumps are needed to force air into fuel cells) for a less-efficient but hush-quiet turbo-compressor. Stamp the accelerator and at most, it softly whispers.

Despite the electric motor’s meager 161 hp, its torquey 291 lb-ft and EV-reactions scoot it through traffic just fine. It steers fluidly and brakes predictably; it cruises quietly, absorbs pothole peccadillos with aplomb, and its steering wheel regen paddles let you temper your speed with your fingers. It’s a delightfully refined, real-world get-around.

And smart-looking, too. The image that Hyundai’s Senior Chief Designer, Chris Chapman, pictured when he closed his eyes is a smooth river-stone. Serene. With water—or in this case, air—moving effortlessly past it. The nose is simple and polished; there’s air curtains to cox the air over the front wheel opening. And vents disguised into the C-pillar to lessens the trailing low-pressure zone. Notice the base of the A-pillar—it’s blacked-out.  Is this the start of ‘flying A-Pillars’ to complement the now ubiquitous flying roof?

I like the 2019 Nexo’s interior even more. The manic, sculptural, molded exuberance we’ve encountered with too many SUV instrument panels has been canned for a refreshingly clean, rectangular-ism. It’s centerpieced by an elegant, monochromatic flying center console of subtle buttons, capped by a swipable, Apple-esque touch screen of quick-comprehend icons. After staring—usually confused—at one after another user interfaces from Acura and Toyota, lately, this thing really seems to get it. Why doesn’t Hyundai replicate this into every one of its interiors?

As the Nexo name suggests, it’s also a rolling showroom of Hyundai’s next-gen features. To the Highlight Reel: Toggle the turn signal and a video feed from the left or right cameras appears on the driver screen; start to steer into an occupied lane and the Nexo’s wheel resists your imminent knuckleheadness; if you slowly pass an open perpendicular parking spot of your dreams, the car will signal you to stop. Get out and hold a button on the fob, and as long as you’re walking beside it within 5 feet, the car reverses-in and does all the rest.

Suddenly an alert blinks on my phone. It’s Larry again. He’s at a station now, trying to fill up his Mirai and sends me a picture of the pump. There’s a hand-written note taped on it: ‘H70 Not Working. Use H35 Nozzle. If you are below 1/2 tank it will give you fuel. If you’re above 1/2 you won’t get fuel.’ H70 is hydrogen pressurized at 10,000 psi, which is what he needs. He adds “Of the two hydrogen stations on my daily route, one has been down since last Friday, the other since god knows when. Now I need to go to Anaheim, 20 miles away to refuel. I’m off to hell.”

A hydrogen fuel cell vehicle takes about the same time to fill as a gasoline car’s fuel tank—three to five minutes—an often-sited, killer-advantage over a battery EV’s long charging times. But during the Q&A after the Nexo technical presentation, Dan Neil of The Wall Street Journal, barked “What good is a 5-minute refill if it takes 20-minutes to get to the station?” Larry would have followed that with a screamed, ‘And then the station is down!’

Like the Nexo, the Kona Electric is also a front-drive, electric CUV, but 19.3 inches shorter, 3.0 inches lower, 2.3 inches narrower, and sits on a platform shared with its two gas-engine siblings. Up until this car, I’ve regarded non-dedicated battery-EV platforms as 100-percent lousy BEV platforms because enough battery space never gets baked-into their blueprints. But the Kona Electric’s 64 kW-hrs of battery energy tops the Bolt’s 60, it fits innocuously under the floor and rear seat, and its liquid-cooled thermal management way-better copes with high and low temperature charging (it’s over twice as quick at -4 F, 40 percent quicker at 104 F). As the power output of SAE Combo fast chargers upgrade above 50 kW, the Kona will be ready with a 75 kW appetite that can be satiated in 54-minutes. If you’ve scheduled a charging to happen automatically during late-night off-peak hours, a convenient button next to the charging port lets you override that and charge ‘now’ without climbing into the car to change it. And the battery’s default charge limit can be tailored to your typical needs to reduce battery wear (ala Tesla).

The Kona Electric has regen tricks, too: finger-tug the left and right steering wheel paddles lets you toggle up and down through four levels of regen, ultimately reaching 0.25 g (a genuine, casual braking rate) if you hold the right paddle; keep holding it and you can ride all the way down to a complete stop. And why didn’t-we-think-of-this-one: its default rate of deceleration is kept constant regardless of whether the road’s level, uphill, or descending by automatically dialing regen up and down. There’s a sort of cruise-control lite, too: While following a car ahead, the Kona can automatically apply regen for minor speed corrections (though accelerating still requires your right foot).

Hyundai says that all its shifters will migrate to button arrays (away from classical slot-shifters) and tapping this one’s Drive button is more or less symbolic of the effortlessness with which the Kona operates. Starting at $37,000 (before tax incentives) even the base, SEL version (let alone the pricier Limited and Ultimate ones) has a drivetrain polish that would make some $100,000 German luxury sedans blush. One-speed, vibrationless electric drivetrains are just as hard to follow, this one’s claimed 7.6 seconds to 60 mph seems way swifter than that due to its typical zero-rev torque burst. Dynamically, its biggest fault is simply road noise (that weird warble at low speeds is pedestrian alert). Other niggles? The back seat is tight, and it’s aero-friendly nose is, well, a matter of aesthetic opinion. But if I were in the market for an affordable, electric, silky-driving everyday commuter with good adaptive cruise control, genuinely useful lane-centering, and a helpful head-up display, the Kona Electric Ultimate would be on a very short list.

Larry sends a third text. He says his Mirai never completely refills, leaving him with a real-world range of around 230 miles, not the claimed 312. “So I need to plan a stop when there’s 80-90 miles left which means I have to do that pretty much every other day.” (Later, he sends me a dash picture of his 229-miles of range just after filling; he drives pretty hard, but I get his point). Our logbook from a long-term a Mirai driven by an economy-minded editor, averaged 279, and Mirai Facebook pages finds drivers often seeing about 250.

What’s going on? The scarcity of dispensers may be resulting in a conga-dance of one-after-the-other fills at the stations, dropping their pressure for a while. Or maybe it’s something else. Some months ago, I had the chance to co-drive a Nexo prototype from Chino (CA) to Las Vegas—an indirect route of 240 miles (plus some detours)—and its 380-mile range claims seemed to be on the up and up.

Which is a real tragedy. For years, the emergence of the FCV has been the chicken or the egg story: no cars, no stations; no stations, no cars.

Now, there are cars, but the infrastructure has chickened out. The Mirai and the Clarity FCV have collapsed the technology’s astronomical costs, and the Nexo is the perfect FC jigsaw piece for today’s puzzling consumer tastes. But their stations remain confined to Southern California and the Bay Area, and remain unevenly scattered in only 35 locations, with five opening soon, and a total of 59 by the end of 2020. At this rate it will take 6,000 years to equal the U.S. population of gas stations (that have multiple pumps, not just one). Conversely, the Kona Electric will be stocked in all the western and northeastern dealerships following California’s zero-emissions-vehicles (ZEV) lead, but can be ordered anywhere in the country because there’s some sort of charging opportunity all over the place (starting with the electrical panel in your house, if you have one).

There’s nothing quite like an emergency to simplify your decisions, and the UN Climate Panel’s flare gun shot into the overheating sky should abruptly—and yes, maybe cruelly—conclude this one. Nissan/Infiniti’s variable compression ratio technology and Mazda’s compression-ignition gasoline engines are great, but too late, and in the end, just friendlier versions of the gasoline-burning that’s created the problem in the first place. And while fuel cell transportation should be encouraged in commercial trucking—and someday, maybe around-the-clock autonomous ride-hailing, too—it’s the fuel of a future that simply isn’t happening. Ironically, it’s VW’s financial penalty for its diesel gate misdeeds (what’s financing the Electrify America charging infrastructure) that’ll be driving $2 billion worth of nails into hydrogen’s coffin.

After he’d settled down a bit, I asked Larry whether he’d buy the Nexo or Kona Electric “You don’t even need to ask me.” But when I reframed the question “What if you lived and commuted in westside L.A. where there’s lots more H2 stations?” he softened. “If the filling were free … I’d probably consider it.”

The trouble is, we don’t all live and work in westside Los Angeles. Arresting the planet’s CO2 mess has to happen by 2030.

Check out the Kona Electric.