#the struggles are never ending </3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

veeples · 2 years ago

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torn between wanting equality for ava to be as tall as adam and letting fiona be taller than her </3

#vee talks #fifi is a strong 5’10’’#or 178 cm kiss kiss #ava should get a tall gf but she should also be 6’1’’#the struggles are never ending </3

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cecoeur · 2 months ago

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it's hell on earth to be heavenly them's the breaks, they don't come gently

#daniel ricciardo #dr3 #went on a hike the sunday after the official announcement and listened to this song on repeat for probably 3 of the 8 miles #POV: me in the middle of the woods telling myself to get it together #while crying about a 35 year old millionaire before I end up passing someone on the trail and they call the police on me #so song is about how female stars are treated overtime and when they first arrive they're praised for being authentic and refreshin #but once the shine wears off and they're a little older and reveal imperfections or they struggle they become a target for ridicule #and then they're discarded for the next new thing in town and the cycle keeps repeating itself forever #which to me so closely mirrors daniel's trajectory in F1 in the eyes of the media #but also when you take the lyrics at face value they are just so daniel...#the f1 ecosystem and more specifically the redbull “family” are fake as hell #and yet daniel is one of their most genuine products who actually can't be easily reproduced (but by god they'll try)#he showed a great deal of promise despite coming from a place that really never should've produced a successful f1 driver #because the cards were stacked against him and nobody really thought he would make it #but he did and he gave us 13 brilliant years (and he has SO much more to give and do and succeed at and he will)#but the wheel of time keeps spinning and the cycle continues for the next shiny new toy that they can nurture and then destroy #anyway i'm not totally in love with these gifs but I need to be done w/them and I had to exorcise this demon that was making me sad

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doomedclockworkdotmp3 · 2 months ago

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heeyyy gaaanggg

the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.

#my art #digital art #digital painting #fanart #resident evil 7 #ethan winters #goddd PLEAAASEEEE #i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to #NOT post it. embarrassment be damned #but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE #I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING #HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this #happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly #thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin #about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD #im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss #i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it #like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much #never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd #ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and #that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING #anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.

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zondearts · 5 months ago

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Drew Leoneed from @a-crowcats-nonsense Furry!au

I do plan on drawing everyone, but L/n comes first, so erm, the band sillies.

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valgeristik · 2 months ago

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Ничего не останется от нас, Нам останемся, в лучшем случае, мы

hi. hello. listen to this song

i have so many thoughts about these two. oh my god. maybe i will write it out some day, but for now drawing it out will do

translation will be under the cut! knowing the words does add to the work so i do recommend reading it. or just enjoy the art <3

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heres the translation, color coded according to how i broke it up for the art. just in casies

first page:

Love is scarier than war

Love strikes more true than steel

second page:

More true, because of your own volition

third page:

You run towards all the winds

Let there be pain and eternal battle

Not atmospheric, not earthly

fourth page:

But definitely with you

caption:

There will be nothing left of us,

we will be left with, in the best case, ourselves

#kunst huli #legend of zelda #botw link #botw zelda #botw zelink #tloz #zelink #totk #botw #i cannot express how proud i am that i actually managed not only to finish this #BUT. to have it look GOOD #painting stuff n making it messy in an appealing way has always been a fucking STRUGGLE for me #n i do think u can see my over-rendering tendencies rear their head up on the last one #and also i guess i should have made the last two pages connect like i did with the rest of them but i think it still works. thematically #the last one is like. the end. a break. the start of a much needed retirement #a breather u might say!#i also think the devs should have let link hug her at the end #he deserves it he thought hed never see her like this again #oh alsooooo since im on a tangent anyway #like many people i was disappointed by the cop-out of just giving link his arm back at the end of totk #and i still think it would be cool if he didnt #(or if he kept the magic hand. just imagine how thatll help with all the restoration work dlkfgjdfkgjdfkg)#BUT anyway. i thought about it. n i have a theory about what tf did they do at the end to get not only zelda but his arm back #the fucking time powers!!! what if they just reversed time on them...........#much to thunk about. anyway #hope u enjoy <3 #now i can go finish phantom hourglass #god i hate having to go back to the temple of the ocean king tho. its like dishonored but u cant go up OR knock those guys out

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kittybroker · 4 months ago

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guys i am so close to getting through the almost two week long queue of submissions

#text post #normally never go this long between rounds of opening inbox #ended up going away and been struggling to get the full 12 kitties a day since #we are so close to being back #I have cut a few out though that aren't actual kitties or resubmissions sort of thing #about 3-4 from this round that just didn't make it in

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agalychnisspranneusroseus · 12 days ago

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Fanfics in which Marcy and Sasha idealize Anne as this angelic being filled with kindness and light are so sweet but also so funny. It's always abt how they feel like they don't deserve her because of all the harm they caused her but also. Lmao you can tell they weren't around Wartwood in S1. Anne was such a little piece of shit back then.

#amphibia #my posts #sashannarcy #s1 Anne still ends up coming across as leagues better than sasha and marcy because her bad deeds were more of a #they were very casual and small potatoes. Anne's shitty behavior was more of a matter of quantity than quality #pressuring sprig to confess to ivy as a main attraction at her frog of the year party #shaming polly for not being girly enough #pretending to be sick to avoid work causing the plantars to get sick themselves #this is opposed to marcy committing only three big crimes. but those were BIG #1) kidnapping her friends 2) doubling down on it by striking a deal with Andrias. lying to them and manipulating them for months #and 3) never taking a side in sasha and anne's argument. which i think is a BIG thing and i wish we mentioned it more because #she's not brave enough to take anne's side she's not brave enough to question sasha and her struggle to maintain the status quo #is hurting everyone #and sasha... do i even have to elaborate 😭

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theophagie · 8 months ago

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I didn't watch stone ocean's anime when it came out because of the batches release so since jjba has rolled back around in my brain I was like ykw let me see what they did with the scenes between Pucci and Dio my good friend Dio. And now I'm out here losing my mind because girl. Girl. The music. THE CARESS???? Get out of here!!!!!!

And. Rip to the video (tfw tumblr limitations) but god. God. The scene on the bed...... look at diz............

#they had gay sex on all levels except physical #giorno has two bio fathers and a stepfather on his dad's side actually. and they gave him a weird green sibling together #and i don't even remember anything about their green baby is the thing because. 10ish years + shitty memory disease #all i remember is reading about and seeing that thang like woaaaaggg #+ for some reason i've always struggled with following along to araki's artstyle so it's harder for things to stick.....#it's why i never managed to finished pt8 in the end 😵‍💫 i really have to watch the anime pucci was my n2 jojo villain alongside kira <3 #mytext #animanga #dio brando #diopucci #jjba #stone ocean

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wewerebornsextuplets · 4 months ago

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the sun is a deadly laser

#my art #ocs #kiru #karamatsu #ichimatsu #for context #since id rather not frame kirus concussion as something that just kinda goes away after like a week #she Does end up retaining some long terms effects #one of which being a heightened sensitivity to light #since she was initially injured during the winter when there was less daylight + shes never struggled with it before its a hard adjustment #luckily though karamatsu has a seemingly endless supply of spare sunglasses if the summer episode is anything to go by #so he lets her keep them :3

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naamahdarling · 3 months ago

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.

Little bit of pet loss and sad talk in tags.

#it's a struggle with the babies not having morbid thoughts when I'm cuddling with them #never had this issue with any prior pet loss but i never got hammered with 3 in a week before either #but it's upsetting #as is the fact that if they live a slightly high end average lifespan they may be among the last cats i ever have #and that thought is so incredibly sad to me #like just so deeply and primally upsetting #it feels wrong the way it felt wrong to lose all the boys #idk sorry this is sad #ive got the morbs

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spacedlexi · 4 months ago

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i actually love thinking about preS4 vinerva and how their relationship deteriorates throughout the season and how it relates to the clemvi romance and just violets character in general but unfortunately some people cant be normal about them so instead i just gotta keep it to myself

#childhood friendship to romance with a tragic ending thats about accepting new love like i just think thats fun and interesting #the whole point is violet moving on from minerva!!! which is why her bad route is about wrongly putting her faith back into minnie #and goes BLIND!! do you Get It??#(which she later apologizes to clem about recognizing she reacted poorly. and clem accepts her apology and admits her own blame in it)#but no. “violet never got over minnie” and minnie being an evil demon as far as the eye can see #maybe theyre actually both complex and layered characters who have been through traumatizing events that made them act accordingly 😱#no... that cant possibly be it... they must just be evil teenage girls...#violet ever loving minnie at all is treated like a crime by some people god forbid she struggle with those feelings 🙄#every time i post art of the 3 of them i get at Least one person saying Some Shit 😑 and its really annoying #heard my clemviminnie pride art got reposted to reddit. Fear.#and when i went to find it i saw vi lost to ben in the 2nd round of a “best written character” poll. and i knew i could never go back there #twdg #it speaks

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zerodaryls · 1 year ago

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it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.

i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.

there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.

'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.

to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.

and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.

but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.

#i try to reclaim 'feminine' words for myself in private #calling myself 'babygirl' when i need to chill out. or saying i feel pretty. or going 'she needs help' when i'm struggling lmao.#but there's still so much fucking trauma in those words from the people who've forced them on me #who've snarled in my face that GOD made me ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY and that's a WOMAN (stepdad)#who've guilted me for taking their precious perfect daughter away as if i'm fucking dead (mother)#who've mocked me and everyone like me as if we're not the experts on our own sense of self (general transphobic public)#like. i'm not a fucking man. i'm not a fucking woman. i'm nonbinary. gender is absurdity as a concept. i'm done with it.#but being called a man or a son or a guy or 'he' or WHATEVER in that vein is fine and dandy because i've never had anyone say #'that is all you can EVER be'. or worse: 'that is what GOD made you to be and you have a ROLE to fill'#(christianity pls die approximately yesterday thanku 💖)#so yeah. idk. ranting yet again about Cis Audacity.#the complete lack of empathy. the lack of curiosity even.#the condescending bullshit. the 'i understand you better than you do'. the fucking AUDACITY.#i am the expert on myself. i am the ONLY expert on myself. period. no contest. not a debate.#i understand myself better than anyone else is CAPABLE of understanding me.#i could call myself 'she' and understand that i meant it in a nonbinary way.#in fact i could even see myself letting other trans people call me feminine terms at some point in the future. when i've healed more.#but cis people? probably not. they can call me 'he' or 'they' or they can fuck off & never get to know me because they don't wanna know ME #/end rant #any terfs/bigots that try to touch this post will be swiftly blocked and quite possibly cursed. have the day you deserve <3

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skunkes · 6 months ago

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mentioned before I havent felt any tangible significant benefit from meds yet which is fine bc it takes a while to kick in but one small good thing i have noticed so far is even when I get little sleep I feel less tired when I wake up

I don't feel completely incapacitated and in need of being in bed all day, fighting off the urge to nap, to recharge.

I also 1. actually get "Sleepy" now... instead of just feeling very hollowly "Tired" and like i Should be going to bed to try to sleep even though I don't feel like it, because it's about time to be doing that I guess, leading to tossing and turning for 3 hrs before finally succumbing to sleep.

and 2. I actually doze off. Instead of forcing self to try and initiate sleep...this has only ever happened during my rare Naps where im so tired that sleep puts me down by force. Never in actual night time sleep setting... im like dropping my phone and struggling to stay awake sometimes now. At night!!!

None of this is in any of the results I've seen for the medication so i dont even care if its some weird placebo somehow 😭 im jst glad its happening

#talkys #a week before i started taking it i had one day where i just never felt ''sleepy'' despite taking 2 melatonin #and feeling very Tired so i just didnt fall asleep. and then when night came again I still went to bed at 5 am and struggled to fall asleep #now we get to 3 am and my body is like ok start wrapping it up im sleepy i want to go to bed i want to go to bed #last nite i didnt fall asleep until 6 am but that was because I forced self to stay awake for comms + got engrossed in phone #time and also the dogs kept howling outside. i woke up at 12pm and did I feel tired? yeah #does the tiredness feel like extreme pain behind my eyes and a hollow aching empty head that keeps me from moving? it does not...!#its like in the very back of my mind...its present but not demanding all my time #in college i would go thru a daydream to fall asleep and i wouldnt even make it to the end before i dozed off #that hasnt worked in years and now its working again

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bondagebimbo · 1 month ago

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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.

and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠

I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.

I’m just. I give up.

this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭

#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive #half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass #NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone #but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her #all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed #just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one #like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no #leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate #of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it #like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for #oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow #and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks #towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else #I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey #and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense #I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too #I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted #to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest #and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long #fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest #for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days

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kitcats-1-braincell · 1 month ago

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Whyyyyy does isatober have to be so difficult for meeeee ajaygjyvaghjahgjahb

#kit is not dead #in stars and time #isat #isatober #isatober2024 #kits isatober struggle #NO BUT LIKE #I WANNA DRAW #BUT MY BRAIN IS LIKE #‘no :3’#AND JUST THROWS IDEAS AT ME THAT I NEVER END UP FINISHING #WHYYYYYY #isatober will probably be posted sometime tonight (in my timezone that’s like. one hour)#but only if my brain cooperates with me

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cheekblush · 2 months ago

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really starting to believe that psychic who claimed i’m cursed

#like absolutely NOTHING goes right in my life #i have no friends no social life no partner have never been in a relationship even though i’m almost 30 #i still live at home my job has horrible working hours and makes me absolutely miserable #like i can’t name you a single thing that goes right in my life i’m so far behind everyone #i wasted so many years studying and i’ve got nothing to show for it i’m a pathetic excuse of a human #i really wish i could give my life to someone who deserves it way more than me someone who really wants to live #the psychic claimed that my ex best friend’s mother cursed me #and i do find it somewhat silly to blame everything that goes wrong in my life on someone else or outer forces #but our friendship ended VERY poorly and her mother absolutely hated me by the end of it #so it honesty doesn’t seem too far fetched #bc ever since we went our separate ways which i never regretted btw i’ve just been struggling to survive #like if i’m honest i’m intelligent i’m capable i’m pretty i’m kind i’m funny but my whole life is a struggle #i know that my depression anxiety and overall low self esteem closes a lot of doors for me #but it’s just insane how unlucky i am like it can’t be a coincidence anymore #it’s just so heartbreaking when all your efforts are in vain like i try sooooo hard but it’s never enough #the psychic claimed the mother put a curse on me that basically blocks all roads for me #and like i said i haven’t had success or happiness in both my personal and professional life #it feels like every time i take step forward i take 3 back #good things never stay for long and bad things are so excruciatingly bad it’s unbearable #i’m just exhausted with everything… life shouldn’t be so fucking difficult wether it’s a curse or not #i know i also have many things to be thankful for but it seems like all the important milestones are eluding me #☁️

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