#the shenanigans of a psychic child

[rt-arts]

origins smp philza + sneeg sketches feat. extra doodles

[evilminji]

You Know How There Are Those AU? Where SUPER Injured Ghosts Need To Retreat To Their Core?

No one seems to be USING that to its fullest potential! For SHENANIGANS! Because! Who?? Could POSSIBLY carry a Halfa's Core safely... but another Halfa?! A FULL ghost would KILL them. A human would be killed! What terribly precarious peril we find ourselves in! Oh nooooooo!

Well, no worry!

As much as Dani fuckin HATES this. That there is her brother. Her Template. Her Clone Daddy and Bestest of Bros. Like HECK she's gonna let him suffer for centuries and possibly DIE. She can take it, Doc! Pop him in! We'll go road tripping and-

What do you MEAN "No"?

Unstable??! Of course she's unstable! But the-.... Oh.

Turns OUT? Dani? Can hitch a ride in DANNY for Emergency Medical Aid... but NOT the other way around. Her body is too loosely held together. He would parasiticly consume her from within. Instead of feeding off her Ecto System like injured ghosts are supposed too, because she's a CLONE? AND an unstable one at that? His Core would just... see her body as free ectoplasm. All of it.

He'd eat her.

Which mean Frostbite can not and WILL NOT allow that.

But he's HURT! That big, off screen, cataclysmic Fight To Save Everybody From *cough cough mumbles* and settle us all in the DC universe, REALLY messed him up! What are we supposed to DO!? He can't STAY like this!!!

Enter-> My FAVORITE DCxDP Trash Ship! Vlad&Lex!!! *horrified screaming from the crowds, someone shouts "oh god, no! Please!"* Ha! There are no gods here, silly billys! Only two terrible, terrible HIGHLY Dramatic, self serving, incredibly damaged, gay peacocks. In Business Suits that cost more then your house is worth.

They're AWFUL~♡

And! Vlad was sent ahead to lay the ground work. Insure there would be no GIWs. Also because no one could stand him and his EXTENSIVE criminal record. But that's besides the point.

But!

You know what he found? A Business Nemesis. Who he routinely dates and/or Dramatically Hate Fu-*coughs* I mean, attempts a Corporate Take Over(tm) off. You know how it is. Business. He ALSO gets to make it no secret he's a "Meta", thanks to the INCOMPETENCE of one Jack Fenton, because that- *seething rant*

Yet? Dispite his STILL burning hatred for Jack? And his finally letting go of Maddie? You know what he STILL wants?

For Danny to be his Son.

*Gets a call from Frostbite*

...............soooooo........ what you're SAYING is..... I can be pregnant with Daniel.

You, Frostbite, need ME, Vladimir Masters, THE ONLY OTHER HALFA, to carry Daniel around inside my body, in what to all appearances resembles a pregnancy, in order to heal him. Because I am an Older And Stronger Halfa Upon Which He Relies.

:)

*instantly begins plotting*

Just? Imagine. Vlad is a FUCKIN LIAR. No one but him would even KNOW what was going on! He just? Rocks up one day, like? *falsely demure* "oh I couldn't POSSIBLY has any scotch, Lex! >:) I'm eating for Two~☆" and just? Deals the MAXIMUM amount of psychic damage he can.

Probably says it at their weekly, public, Veiled Threats Brunch.

It makes front page news. Luthor choked on his eggs. The paparazzi lost their SHIT. Vlad is doing the FULL Celebrity Mom Thing. The classes. The photo shoots. The Gucci sunglasses as he peruses high end strollers. All while HEAVILY suggesting that not only is "The Baby" Lex's.... but that he's going to withhold the child and deny Lex any access.

Danny isn't even aware. He's in a lovely lil medical coma. Dani is trying to find a good spot to plop down Amity. She just know Vlad is being... Vlad. Meh. He can handle it. Dan? He's not even IN the human realm and is not sure he wants to be.

But over in the LEAGUE? Everything's on fuckin FIRE.

Kon is losing his SHIT and Clark is thousand yard staring into the void. Kon's half brother is in the hands of a... Less Then Ideal... Meta that Batman is PRETTY sure is highly suspect. Might be a deliberate weapons experiment. Certainly is a hostage. And the DRAMA.

Lex has never been worse.

He might actually stab his...partner? Vlad. At the hospital. The SECOND the child is born. There are already long term kidnapping plans in the making. He's hiring lawyers. Getting VICIOUS. There have been talks with DEATHSTROKE. By BOTH OF THEM.

Clark wants to cry.

@hypewinter @ailithnight @nerdpoe @hdgnj @the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation @babbling-babull

[mr-jack-letterman]

AAAAAAND WERE BACK with more Subway to Stardew silliness NSNNDD.

Thank you to the folks over at @subwaytostardew for making this wonderful mod and letting me make silly art about it lol.

In any case time for some headcannon nonsense.

(click for better quality because Tumblr makes it crunchy)

If Stardew Valley were to have a box legendary I think it would be Cresselia. It's literally Lunar pokemon and represents the crescent moon so it being the patron legendary of Stardew Valley just makes a lot of sense to me. Also Cresselia is underrated NSNDN.

Maybe there would be a secret special encounter for Darkrai. (the other half of it and Cresselia's duo but is a mythical for some reason?)

Also the Lunar wing would be very neat item to have in-game ANSNDND.

If it were to exist within the mod I imagine the farmer would be like "oooo shiny feather. Maybe it's a pokemon feather? Emmet/Ingo would probably like it :D" so then they make it into a necklace, or maybe just give it to one of them outright without knowing what it is. So Emmet/Ingo sees it and just starts freaking the hell out cause their crush/friend just gave them a piece of a literal legendary pokemon meanwhile the farmer is just....clueless NSNDND.

Now onto some of the other characters.

As basically the resident nurse joy of Pelican Town I think Harvey would have some pokemon common in the medical field. Though, pokemon like Chansey and Audino don't really fit his whole "whiskey neat, coffee black, bed at three"/ref vibes so I thought Indeedee would be best NSNDNND.

I also decided to give some pokemon to the characters mentioned within my ask.

Willy is very fond of water types, clearly NSNS. Specifically fish pokemon like Lanturn, Seaking, Whiscash, Wishiwashi, or Dondozo. (Though his actual team probably has a good chunk of pokemon that are still water type just not fish lmao) The crowning jewel of his collection is a shiny Magikarp he fished up. Maybe one day it will evolve, but for now it just swims around the docks next to his house entertaining anyone that visits.

He also has a Bibarel. (which I imagine is the grown up version of that one Bidoof that snuck into Pelican Town) It acts more like an overgrown housecat than a battle ready pokemon but it is incredibly bulky so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯.

Morris also has a few pokemon of his own. Most of which he keeps at home. But his main two he's seen with is a Gimmighoul and a Gumshoos. (IDK he just has Gumshoos vibes to me NSNDNND) They run around Joja pickpocketing people's gold cause Morris is just a dick like that.

"It's Wizard time mother fucker, FIREBALL-"/ref

Wizard likes psychic types, but I like to think he also has a fondness for fairy types too. Also, most of em has at least one strong fire type move just so he has an excuse to yell "fireball" and blast something NSND. His Malamar is named Illithid (a wack squid monster guy from DnD lol)

Sandy likes rock types, given that she lives in a desert it's probably the only type of pokemon she sees on the daily lol. She also has a key stone on her earring. With how colorful a keystone is when compared to sand I think she would be the most likely to find one there. Idk exactly if she'd mega evolve an Aerodactyl or a Tyranitar, if any pokemon at all. But I think she'd carry it around regardless. It's pretty :]

Also she has a shiny Rockruff. I don't rly have an explanation for that one I think it just fits the vibe lol.

And now, shenanigans.

Emmet then proceeds to grab the child and just.... speed walk away HSBBDBDJJR.

That's all I have for now, I'll probably throw some other pokemon at the bachelorettes and other bachelors another time but this alone took a solid week due to finals 😭/lh

Time for me to go to bed lol, have a good one 👍

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

Please, tell me more

About Heatwave and Bumblebee siblings dynamic

It sounds stupidly fun

And with lots of shenanigans

Tell me👀

YESSSS OK.

listen this just started out because i had the passing thought that we all joke about heatwave being optimus's kid and it's been a pretty popular joke for a long time to say that about bumblebee as well. it was just a joke headcanon. but then i got to thinking.

heatwave and bumblebee are actually a really interesting duo (even tho they barely interacted in canon) for a lot of reasons, but the main one is that they're functionally narrative foils. in case anyone doesn't know what a foil is, foils are characters who are opposites in ways meant to highlight specific qualities each character possesses. in some cases, the foil for the protagonist is an antagonist, but not always. also, when i say narrative foil what i mean is the development and storyline the characters follow are opposites.

the narrative foils between heatwave and bee are more easily drawn between rescue bots and robots in disguise, because in rid bumblebee becomes team leader, like heatwave. because of that all the stuff i'm saying is about them post war, during rid.

firstly, heatwave starts out as team leader, while bumblebee we see growing into the role. this creates an interesting dynamic because optimus has always known heatwave as a leader, while for a very long time bumblebee was someone under his command. the differences in how optimus treats their decision making could cause some sibling rivalry. bumblebee is jealous of heatwave because optimus trusts him more, and because optimus isn't constantly hovering. heatwave is jealous of bumblebee because optimus actually spends time with him, and because they know each other better.

another interesting thing about them is their backgrounds. heatwave's dream was to be on optimus's team, because he wanted to prove himself. he loves fighting, and wanted nothing more than to help by joining in on the action. to heatwave, bumblebee is living the dream. but bee would much rather live like heatwave, away from cybertron where everybody expects him to just move on. of course they both understand that the other's life isn't perfect, but they're both seeing through rose colored glasses. the grass is greener on the other side, so to speak.

also, bumblebee loves earth, like, a lot. in rid he's constantly talking about how beautiful it is, and how interesting humans are. heatwave is the complete opposite. even after cody convinced him to stay, he was still the least interested in earth. to him, it's just another mission, which makes sense because he'd been to plenty of other planets for the same reasons. earth isn't anything special to him. but for bumblebee, someone who rarely had the chance to explore the life of other planets, earth is unique. the autobots were too busy fighting to take in the sights in the earlier days of war, and by the time they moved to new planets the old ones were usually destroyed anyways. being able to just exist on another planet is something he hasn't done, and especially not in a post war situation.

i think bumblebee would harbor a lot of negative feelings towards heatwave (especially in the beginning) just because he's known optimus for way less time but earned his trust much faster. also because heatwave has a lot of potential? i guess? because of his quadruple changer status and as the last rescue bot leader. and since i headcanon him as a psychic, heatwave is really a golden child, so to speak. bumblebee resents him, but then he feels guilty for resenting heatwave because even if he's jealous that's still his brother.

heatwave is less resentful of bumblebee (although there is still a level of resentment) and more openly admiring of him. to the rescue bots, who have been kept from knowing anything about the war, bumblebee is a hero. i mean to a lot of people he's a hero, but the rescue bots get most of their info about everything that's going on from bumblebee because optimus doesn't want them to know. heatwave wants to fight, but optimus won't let him. he feels weak and unworthy (serious survivor's guilt btw), and so he sees bumblebee as what he needs to become.

a lot of this stuff is kinda angsty which i didn't intend because i genuinely do think they would also get along really well and could become close. but also there would be a LOT of sibling rivalry between them just because of the kinds of people they are.

(also important to note: i personally see bumblebee taking on an older sibling role especially during rid because it fits his character arc of maturing and growing into leadership. this adds another layer of complicated to their already weird relationship because heatwave has always been the one responsible for others while bumblebee is very new to it. but as bee gets more comfortable exercising his own agency and heatwave gets more used to trusting others, they settle into a sibling dynamic that actually works.)

[princess-of-the-corner]

ML Pokémon

Ok, thought.

Marinette still wants to be fashion designer, but most fashion in Pokémon is centred on Coordinating. However, Marinette has performance anxiety, so she performs in Contests under the Alias “Ladybug”, wearing a mask to conceal her identity. While she doesn’t really want anyone to know she’s Ladybug - it’s stress she doesn’t need right now - it’s a bit lower stakes on the identity reveal so far. (Pokémon: Ledyba, Sewaddle, Scatterbug/Spewpa)

Adrien performs in Contests under his father’s label and management, but feels very stifled, as he’s basically representing his dad’s brand, and therefore has a certain image he has to maintain. He does actually enjoy Contests though, so sometimes sneaks out to perform under the Alias “Chat Noir”, where he can do more what he wants. Is considering doing the badge challenge as Chat Noir too. (Pokémon: [Adrien Agreste] Snivy, Shiny Furfrou/ [Chat Noir] Alolan Meowth, Purrloin, Absol)

Gabriel is looking for a specific Legendary Pokémon (?Terapogos, Celebi, Xerneas, Mew, Mewtwo, Darkrai, Cresselia?) because Emilie is in an unnatural coma for currently unexplained reasons. Fu is the current Guardian of that Pokémon, or the way to that Pokémon, but is getting very old. Through either circumstance, or a comedy of errors, “Ladybug” & “Chat Noir” end up guarding the Legendary Pokémon from “Hawk Moth” & “Mayura” (Phantom!Thief Gabriel & Nathalie, basically). By Team Rocket Rules, nobody notices each other’s identities. Fu decides to charge them with being the future guardians (either they were really competent, or maybe the Legendary sends a sign, like “I want these two”).

other thoughts:

- Juleka has a Kecleon and Vaporeon. Also Low Amp Toxtricity.

- Luka NEEDS to have Meloetta. Don’t know why or how, or for how long, but he does. Also want him to have a Lapras that knows Psychic, which can use on itself to “fly” (not particularly high or anything, but it can travel short distances over land fairly quickly). Also Amped Toxtricity, and a Ralts.

- I realize Fu should probably have a Torterra, but he also needs a Drampa

- Not sure whether identity shenanigans should play a major role beyond Adrien not recognizing his dad and pseudo-mom via Team Rocket Rules. Like, do Adrien and Marinette still keep their identities secret from each other, or because this is now probably more dangerous than “I’m uncomfortable on stage”/“If my dad finds out’ he’ll be upset”, would they spill?

- Alix managed to befriend a Celebi as a child. It shows up to “play” still, which sometimes results in time travel.

- Chloé needs a Vespiquen. Also a Beedrill. Also a Teddiursa. Also a Cutiefly. Also Shiny Lucario.

- Not Sure if Max should have a Porygon or a Rotom, or both, and which should be called Markov

- Kim has mostly monkey Pokémon, but also a Golduck (apparently the best swimmers in the Pokémon world)

- Should Mylene have a Mimikyu?

- Nathaniel has a Smeargle, and a Grafaiai (graffiti monkey)

- Kagami gets a Pawniard, a Galarian Farfetch’d, maybe Gallade, then I don’t know which dragon she gets, but something pseudo, probably. Also have her meet the Swords of Justice, cause, come on

- I want to give Rose, like, a Togepi, a Roselia, then ALL Ghost-types

- Someone needs a Chansey

- no idea what Nathalie has.

-Gabe just has … all the Butterfly/Moth Pokémon. All of them. That’s it.

-

I can go back and forth on the identity stuff because honestly there’s- there’s no Magic to keep their Identities secret plus they probably have to register for contests under their Real Names

Yeah I mentioned Gabe looking for whatever could help wake Emilie

While the Order is protecting Terapagos, and maybe knows about a few other Legendaries, Fu’s kinda separate. Like he’s connected, but he plays the role of Pokemon Professor since he hands out the Miraculous and in this AU the Kwami are Starters

As for the other character’s Teams: I mentioned that I’m limiting them to 1-2 Types or a theme for the majority of their Pokemon. THey can have some exceptions, often their Starter as the Starters have to keep to their Kwami. SO

- Juleka’s team I need to hammer but I could either lean into the pirate rocker or go with ‘pokemon people don’t always like because she finds them Neat™’

- Luka having a music-based team is on the list!

- Fu has some great choices there lol

- I think similar to Canon, Hawkmoth (and later Mayura) are kept more in the shadow letting Akuma Grunts do their dirty work, so there’s less risk of anyone finding them out.

- Chloé will get a Vespiquen because it’s Iconic™ and I do think the Teddiursa line is gonna be her other ‘exception’ but the rest are all Fairy Types

- Markov is a Porygon!

- Kim’s team is absolutely Monkey. There’s a lot of monkey pokemon tbh.

- Not sure Mimikyu fits Mylene but she does have plenty of Mouse options!

- Smeargle and Grafaiai are perfect for Nathaniel

- Ya know when this au was first made I leaned more into just dragons but yeah all the swordfighter Pokemon are Kagami’s now.

- Did you know there’s six different lines of Grass/Ghost types? Because Rose knows! I think I do have to give her a Roserade though because ya know. Rose.

- Nathalie is actually kinda open because while she does use the Peacock, that’s more associated with Emilie so she’d be like. Borrowing Emilie’s Pokemon? Not unheard of but Nathalie’s own team can be different.

- There are also so many butterfly/moth pokemon lmao.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

For a cunty request can I have a time traveler reader with any of mafia? Maybe Vico or Tommy?

A/N: oh this is going to be hilarious! Thank you for requesting…stay cunty😘✨ (hopefully I did your idea some justice. I didn’t entirely know what scenario you wanted so just some general thoughts)

Warnings: ⚠️a little bit of Joe Barbaro ⚠️

Masterlist

Requests: open 24/7

I’ve chosen Vito because have you ever seen those memes where it’s like, “a victorian child would probably have an aneurysm over this”, yeah…that would be Tommy if you appeared in his timeline

Like that man is stressed the hell out enough! Don’t go ruining his life further with your shenanigans.

Besides Vito would definitely take this far better than anyone else with the exception of the characters from mafia iii. My brother has been to prison, shipped out to war, and now suddenly in the mob…he’s definitely seen some unspeakable shit..

Every soldier has at least one paranormal experience…for him it just happened to be your dumb ass.

He’s not amused by you in the slightest at first..what the fuck is an iPhone and why are you dressed like an idiot? Are you high on something or just unwell?????

“Look Lady, I really don’t have time for this shit and I have places to be. If you need something there’s a Salvation Army right down the block..”

Of course you keep persisting that you’re perfectly fine and that you’re actually from the future. I can just imagine Vito speed walking away with an exasperated expression plastered across his face; you're just continuing to spew nonsense as you follow him.

“I-I don’t want to hear you talk about your fucking bullshit future! Please just go away.”

This man’s blood pressure is through the roof at this point. He’s even trying to physically shoo you away, if it wasn’t for his background he would’ve taken you to the police department.

“Okay do you want a dollar? Huh, will that make you finally stop yapping?? Actually, here take 20 and go away.”

Eventually he just gives up. You’re the most hard headed individual he’s ever encountered and he let’s you follow him. You’re obviously not giving this up.

Partly thinks this is some kind of prank Joe set up to get back at him.

So naturally his first instinct is go go find Joe because if he has to hear the crazy shit you’re spewing, so does he.

Worst. Mistake. Ever.

At first Joe is also trying to get you to leave his buddy alone. Even offering you money just like Vito did earlier but then a light bulb goes off!

Joe’s main mission in life is to piss off Vito and for him…golden opportunity right here for free.

“Sooo…Y/N was it? Tell me, if you are from the future, will Vito always be this fugly?”

“Oh shut the hell up for once would ya? This is a serious situation we have on our hands and you think this is the time to be making jokes??”

“Maybe not fugly but he will end up being a grumpy old man with no wife or kids.”

Joe absolutely loves you and you’re now besties

“Oohhhh no. You two will not be in cahoots!! Joe stop fucking around.”

Don’t worry, Vito eventually comes around to you. He kind of has to now that Joe is riding this thing so hard.

Neither one of them truly believes you though. At least not at first. It’s kind of difficult to prove until the event you’re warning them about actually comes to pass.

You are able to tell them extremely detailed facts and information about themselves and the mafia. You warn them about Henry and give tips about different tasks.

This made them suspicious of you and blew you off as some kind of narc for knowing so damn much. It wasn’t until things started becoming true, they came running right back to you.

They’re both feeling a mixture of excitement, concern and confusion.

Joe doesn’t understand that you only know main historical events and wants you to give him the winning numbers to the lottery.

Vito on the other hand thinks you’re some sort of crazy psychic or maybe one of them aliens from the film he had just seen.

Either way you’re definitely not from here.

Ultimately Vito doesn’t entirely know how to handle all of this. I don’t think anyone would ever be able to fully process this happening. After all you’ve predicted and protected him from, he just accepts that you’re who you say you are.

You’re not a threat to him and Joe seems to really enjoy having you around so I guess he doesn’t really mind you either. He lets you stay at his place too. It’s the least he could do after all your help and the shit he gave.

At least you’re not as bad as that kid, Marty.

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

DC

Persistence Is A Sin by PlotlessWanderer

Part 1 of Persistence Verse

He stared Bruce Wayne in his dead blank eyes with the full force of his conditional training behind him and told Batman exactly what he was doing wrong. Clenching shaking hands, praying he wouldn't vomit, Tim faced the demon his hero had become and refused to be moved.

Persistence won out over apathy in the end. Tim wore Batman down through sheer stubbornness and blunt honesty. He wasn't looking to replace what Bruce had lost, wasn't trying to be the stand in for a dead boy. Sometimes he wasn't quite sure what he was doing, exactly, but he always knew that whatever it was, it was necessary.

(Tim won't let his heroes fade away without a fight. Even if he has to bring it right to their doorstep and insist they fight too)

Slipping by incogneat_oh

'There is a small plaster on his arm where Bruce had taken a blood sample. It itches. And the computer runs tests.

They don’t believe him when he says he’s fine.

“It was Ivy,” Dick says, tossing Tim a ball.

Tim just shrugs, says, “I feel fine.” '

(Tim is not fine.)

Catch and Release by snackbaskets

There's a tradition among the family: when in danger, you grab the smallest Robin and hang on tight. But like all traditions, this one had to start somewhere, right?

Alternately: three times Dick bodily attacks his father (with love)

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Local Gods by EsteriaSilversmith

Saiki may have been able to keep anyone from finding out about his psychic abilities, but enough wierd things have happened around PK Academy that the students had to come up with /some/ kind of explanation.

(Aka Saiki's love of sweets comes back to haunt him in the strangest of ways)

Shades of abnormality by TimesBeingWhatTheyAre

Some days Saiki didn’t feel comfortable in his skin.

Canon-compliant AU in which Saiki is genderfluid

The Sandman

The Cat of the Endless by Salmaka

Hob sighs, content to see the cat there and closes his eyes, ready to fall asleep again. He is not quite willing to wake up fully just yet.

But then it hits him.

He doesn’t have a cat.

Clone Wars

The Trouble with Tookas by thosenearandfarwars

Never trust somebody a tooka dislikes.

despite all (despite everything) by never_going_home

Cody is a mess. Obi-Wan is also a mess. They should probably kiss about it at some point.

Featuring: awful horrible terrible siblings, multiple people being So Fucking Done with codywan's pining, an all-inclusive couples' resort, and shenanigans to the extreme.

//

Sometimes, Cody lies awake in the ship’s night-cycle and thinks about the holo Waxer had found in some forgotten article in the depths of a ‘net archive. It had been grainy and out of focus and half-corrupted, but still clearly the general, comforting some wounded child, twenty years younger, hair long and matted, chin bare of beard, cheeks hollow with hunger and grief. His eyes, though, haunted and full of flinty resolve—his eyes had been the same, the only recognisable part of that child-stranger’s face.

(Nobody could fault Obi-Wan Kenobi for his leadership. The problem, then, lies with Cody.)

hear the silence in your head by firelord_zutara

Despite how wrong wrong wrong his Commander feels in the Force, it’s still a relief when Obi-Wan rounds the corner and sees Cody running towards him, there and whole and alive. That is, until Obi-Wan’s entire universe crumbles in an instant when Cody starts shooting at him.

Or: Instead of Tup being the one with the malfunctioning inhibitor chip, it's Cody.

[i-used-to-be-a-spy]

Finished TXF and finale thoughts:

Mulder taking out like 5 bad guys was BAD ASS especially for his age

William EXPLODING bad guys was the horror super power shit IM HERE FOR

Scully and Williams psychic link continued to be super cool

CSM trying to kill Mulder but shoots William disguised as Mulder and then Mulder finally shooting CSM in revenge bc he thinks William is dead. Mulder why didn't you kill this man years ago 😭

I find it hilarious that William gifted them a miracle baby 😂

William surviving tho I want a spin off about his shenanigans with super powers

There wasn't a funeral so I refuse to believe Skinner is dead, that man is currently happily being an uncle to msr's new child

I think Mulder and Scully retire to private work so Skinner is able to keep his job bc he followed Kersh order to fire them and he finally becomes higher up in the FBI

Btw we can't believe CSM like William IS msr child genetically that man is just a liar who wants to hurt them

[mayhems-cannon]

WELCOME TO MY BRAIN!

Do you yearn for ROMANCE and LOVE in this DESOLATE EARTH of DEPRESSION and SELF HATRED?

FEAR NOT ! WE AT NIHILEMARZIPAN SOLUTIONS™️ HAVE THE PERFECT SOLUTIONS FOR YOU !!

WE HAVE:

- DEPRESSED AND DEEPLY TRAUMATIZED PSYCHIC TEENAGE BOY finding LOVE and AFFECTION with ANOTHER DEEPLY TRAUMATIZED PSYCHIC TEENAGE BOY !!

FEATURING: Depression, PTSD, CPTSD, Touch Starvation, Touch Starvation, Bad Coping Mechanisms, Deeply Required Therapy, a DOG and a FUCKTON of TEARS!!! THE END HAS ALREADY HAPPENED!!! LET LUCAS CRY!!!

-Possibly HOMELESS and STRUGGLING PURPLE DINO GIRL finds APPRECIATION and WORKS THROUGH THE MAZLOW HIERARCHY OF NEEDS with the help of her DEPRESSED and LOVESTRUCK REINDEER GIRLFRIEND!!

FEATURING: Affection Starvation, Snout To Snout Nuzzling, Self Hatred, More PTSD, A Lot Of Eating Chalk and Moss, Way Too Much Mariah Carey OH NO, Comforting One Another, LESBIANS, FERRIS WHEELS AND WHATEVER HAPPENS IN CHAPTERS 3 TO 5!! TOBY PLEASE TELL US ITS GONNA COME SOON!!!

- DARK MAGE TGIRL having a WEIRD and COMPLEX love-friendship relationship between her MOONSTRUCK DARK MAGE STALKER and WAR VETERAN CHILD SOLDIER PTSD RIDDEN BOY FRIEND

FEATURING: TGIRLS!!!, A Whole Lot Of Infantilisation Due To Extreme Trauma And Poor In-Game Direct Power And Also Media Literacy, FROTTING!?, KISSES under the GREEN HUE of The CREEPY MOON GOD, Sorry No Marriage!!, Reading About Ye Olde Deities AND Hugs and A SHITTON OF OVERDUE THERAPY!!! MIRO PLEASE TELL US THE UPDATE IS COMING OH MY GOD!!!

- LAMB and GOAT have FREAKY FUN IN THE MATING TENT with the CATBOY EX-GOD OF DEATH they OVERTHREW with the POWER of a LITTLE CROWN

FEATURING: So Many Tentacles!!!!, THREESOMES, T4T, SO MUCH ADULTERY!! Dark Magic And Occultism, Summoning Dark Overlords for Fun Sex in the Fun Tent, SICKNESS, Necromancy, Fun Crown Shenanigans And SO MUCH PUBLIC MAKING OUT!!! IF MASSIVE MONSTER WON’T LET LAMB AND GOAT HAVE SEX THEN I WILL !!!

AND!!!

FREAKY GAY SEX BETWEEN A SELF CUSTOMISING WAR MACHINE TO END ALL WARS and ITS TRANSMASC PUSSYBOY NEWLY AWAKENED EXTREMELY HORNY SLUTTY EX-WARRIOR FALLEN ANGEL BOYFRIEND!!!

FEATURING: FREAKY GAY SEX!!! T4T!!! SOOOO MUCH SCISSORING!! AND JERKING OFF!! AND FINGERING!! AND PULLED HALOS AND WINGS!! AND SHIBARI AND BONDAGE VIA WHIPLASH!! TOO MUCH ANGELIC MOANING AND BEGGING!! BUGGED OUT GLITCHED SCREENS OF ORGASMS!!!! MACHINE COOLANT EJACULATION AND FIGHTING NAKED AS HARDCORE SEX!!!! GABRIEL MIGHT DIE IN CANON BUT NO LAWS OF CANONICITY IS GOING TO STOP ME !!!

AND MORE!! COMING SOON!! WHEN?

…

ORDER NOW!!! DELIVERY IS FREE AND EVERY PRODUCT IS AT NO COST

(unless you wish for something extremely specific in which case you will need to pay me. to commission me. if you want. its ultratober so i cant right now but. if you want. you. you can just dm me while i do stuff and. you know.)

[loupy-mongoose]

Oh no, what will be wrong with Aneira that Randall would feel that he needed to ask for Arceus' help?

My current canon (could change in either small ways or big ways) is that she's a preemie.

I'll just put a disclaimer here that any time I talk about Aneira, as I will be here, I'll be keeping spoilers to a minimum, and will avoid important spoilers altogether. (The only element I see being an offensive spoiler is Momo and Midas' adult appearances or maybe their adult lifestyles, and I'm not sure how much people would be offended by that. X3)

I don't know when I'll get to the point of actually telling Aneira's story, so I'll say that this will contain spoilers in that regard, should I ever officially tell it. (More likely though, she'll be a "future child shenanigans" character.)

This got pretty long, so I'll put a Keep Reading bar just to declutter lol.

Aneira will be born sometime after Midas and Momo have grown up, and all three Linden children have started on their own individual paths. They'll be close still, and within telepathy range, but they'll end up with their own driving motives that lead them apart physically.

Feeling a bit of empty nest syndrome, Randy and Akoya decide to try for another kit. But this one doesn't go as smoothly as the twins did. Akoya never gets that feeling of her energy changing to support the little one, which in my world happens very early on and is the first sign of Mew pregnancy.

Without that first confirmation, Akoya is surprised when she starts experiencing other pregnancy symptoms. They go through the means necessary to confirm that yes, she is pregnant. But she never fully believes or accepts it, or wonders if the baby is alive. (Schrodinger's cat lol). Or fearing what the lack of Psychic connection might mean for the child. Or even wondering if she had missed the feeling somehow.

With these worries causing Akoya a lot of stress, she goes into labor too early.

I haven't yet decided the scope of the issues Aneira has, but it's very strenuous on her parents and siblings. (Midas especially will be a big help.)

Thank you for attending my baby brain barf. I hope you enjoyed the read~

[vinelark]

do you have any whumpy fic recs (ideally romance, but gen would do in a pinch)? Open to any fandoms. I feel like I used to see them a lot more, but they are harder to find these days. Bbts really hits the spot tho btw haha.

ANY fandoms? oh boy do i.

Hotel Heart by Laughsalot3412 (and its sequel Safe as Houses): not quite romance but not NOT romance ot3 leverage psychics au where eliot is a hitman who used to be under the control of a horrible empath who left him with major mental scars and huge trust issues. he reluctantly ends up protecting another empath (hardison) and thief (parker) and sloooowly starts to work through the aforementioned trauma while they take down the aforementioned evil empath together. excellent series with excellent pangy plot. also i knew nothing about leverage when i first read it and it’s what got me to watch the show.

Hold my Eyes to the Sky by myrmidryad: an enjoltaire/les mis longfic set in a 1970s(?) wizarding au in which grantaire is a very sad and lonely werewolf and the idealistic activist he’s hopelessly in love with just got himself turned as well, and grantaire has to help him navigate the changes while dealing with his own self-worth issues and tragic backstory. you want whump? look no further.

Occultation by Geese_in_flight & pineapplesquid: a novel-length au of the book Winter’s Orbit, in which the main difference is that kiem, not jainan, is the one dealing with a previous, horrible arranged marriage. somehow this simple switch brings so much fresh potential to the characters (i loved seeing how this played into kiem’s self-worth issues, and also loved this exploration of what jainan’s character would be like if he had been able to flourish the last few years), with a whole new set of pangs. i recommend both the book and the fic!

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie: a post-cql wangxian getting together fic with the classic amounts of yiqie pain & pining & h/c & devastatingly beautiful writing about the devastatingly beautiful experience of being in love. also blood. honestly most fics by yiqie probably fulfill this request (are you into vashwood, perhaps?)

Morning, keep the streets empty for me by feyburner: a wangxian modern au oneshot with self-sacrificing wei ying getting into trouble and landing himself in the hospital while pining very very hard for his cultivation partner. i’m reccing this one out of all feyburner fics because it has the obvious physical hurt but fey is so good at weaving pangs into fic that tbh there’s emotional whump to be found in most of them. also, god-tier writing in general.

the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser: a wangxian canon-divergence au that falls into the sickfic whump subgenre. the pangs! wangxian’s love for each other and for a-yuan and the way wwx’s desperation and powerlessness in the face of a sick child (and his own illness) clash with how the world perceives him at the time is so 🤌🤌. this is saved in my h/c favs folder for a reason.

The Long Way Home by itsnatalie: extremely whumpy batfam tim & jason fic, which i’ve definitely rec’d here before but if i’m reccing whumpy longfics it HAS to be on the list. good god this fic is a masterpiece, both for the angst and for the absolute beautiful worldbuilding/navigation of its horror tropes.

and since you like bbts, i’ll also self-rec a few of my older fics! i think you’d probably enjoy this river runs to you, a wangxian/mdzs modern cultivation longfic feat. (sort of) identity shenanigans, angsty backstories, self-worth issues, and the main character getting all manner of hurt. also: you’re the trouble that i always find, a wenzhou/shl dreamsharing/amnesia/sort-of-timeloop fic in which the main character is supposed to dream about killing his love interest but said love interest keeps dreamcrashing to change the plot.

this reclist could’ve been dozens of fics long tbh. i live for The Pangs which usually go hand in hand with good whump, and seek those fics out whenever possible, so as always this is a super incomplete reclist! also i welcome any and all recs in return.

[animation-is-my-jam]

Hey!! I just read through you're blog and I noticed youre Tobecky kids! I wondered about them! Why did you choose those names for them? and how they were received by both Becky and Tobey?

Hello! And Thank you for the ask. (^_^)v

Ngl, I do get very excited about questions regarding any fankids from future AU since they have been the biggest fixation I have regarding my AU. And of course, plus it's Tobecky.

For the names, for context of anyone who doesn't know my Tobecky fankids bc maybe its been a while, it goes:

-Tori (Anactoria) [The oldest]

-Luis [middle child]

-Matilda [youngest]

(They're on my banner now. The easiest way to tell them apart is by their obvious color coordination) (Tori is in purples, Luis dark magenta/crimson, Matilda aquamarine/green-blues)

But yeah, the names!

I came up with their names about in 2018. Yeah, the same year I got fixated on the Wordgirl fandom. At first, I just had the concept of future AU only going from when Becky and the gang went to college, but I got worms in my head casting a vision of a next generation wordgirl story and of course the idea of domestic older Tobecky shenanigans with kids. And I have been sick ever since...my brain it has not recovered.

At first, I only designed one kid, Tori. Which was initially short for Victory since it fits her character, but then I remembered like a dumbass that there is literally a character named Victoria. And I tried to change it in lore that no....um her full name is actually something embarrassingly unique like Anactoria (based on one of Sapphos poems, because local literature nerd Becky might name her daughter that) so she shortens it to Tori. Where then some ppl mistake that she was named after family friend Victoria, and that's the gag for her name. She's named after a poem subject and real funny that it's from Sappho considering who Tori is lmao, but also fits some of her Greek aesthetics.

Luis. Now Luis was a strange one. As I said, I only intended at first for Becky and Tobey in future AU to have one kid, and I only focused on her character. Eventually (aka like 5 months later), I wanted to design other tobecky fankids since the family didn't feel complete for me just yet. So I thought of a little brother, like a TJ to a Becky. But I wanted a baby in there too, so um, middle child Luis was forced to be/lh. But you can tell with some of his characterization and how the family treats him. He was supposed to be the youngest or at least act like the youngest, but nope, he's the middle kid, but he is the most spoiled. His name when I designed him was Lewis, as both references to the protagonist of Meet the Robinsons and to Lewis Carrol of "Alice and Wonderland" (for another literature reference and cause his aesthetic is fairytales). However, I realized that I at least wanted one kid of their's to have a more Hispanic sounding name since y'know I can't lose the culture here, just because Becky married a Brit. So I just had his name and pronunciation easily changed to Luis! (Not said like Lewis or Louise).

Matilda is funny because her name has not changed at all. From her creation, I always imagined her as the youngest and mysteriously smartest of the family. Where Tori and Luis would be messes, she's the one who apparently has it together. She's the Dexter of the family, born a genius, and acts above her age, like a little scientist. I also made it that she's the one with the unique ability of telekinesis and eventually other psychic powers. And for that, she was named after another iconic smart little girl with such abilities. Yep, her name is refence to Matilda from the book and movie (and ig musical too) (that also counts as a literature refence, Becky was 2 for 2 in the naming, too bad Luis couldn't make it 3 lol). She's also nicknamed Matilde, Matty, and Tilly by her siblings and friends.

As for how Tobey and Becky reacted to each of them...hmm while I could just say that they just appeared one day because that's the funniest answer but not canon. I'll just say vaugley how they reacted to them knowing about a kid/how the kids were when they arrived.

All three are ages apart, mainly Tori, since she wasn't intended to have siblings, and I first had her be 12 when Luis came home, but I retconned that a year ago. Where she was 7. The timeline of the McCallister-Botsford family is kinda all over the place, but I'll make it more streamlined one day. (Grrr, I'm now mad at "Stars that shine in your eyes is what matters" because it implies that Luis isn't born yet when now he should be)

So first things first. Tori. Tobey and Becky, after two years of marriage, wanted a kid. And even though, in retrospect, they probably should have waited a bit, they still had their energetic gremlin. They were prepared, excited, and, of course, nervous. And even with the planning they've done, they still didn't anticipate how much of a handful their first would be. Tori was a chaotic little thing, her half Lexiconian abilities definitely causing headaches. There was also her headstrong personality, which made playtime with her an exercise. Tobey and Becky were really preoccupied with her and their own adjectives that there's even a plot line about how they haven't been romantic in years and realize it one day.

When Tori was 7 and she started to become quickly independent, like her mom was at that age (maybe it's a Lexiconian thing), it gave Becky and Tobey time to think about their family more and how it will be smooth sailing from here with Tori getting older...Until Luis happened. He was a surprise, and unlike Tori, he would be a handful too, but in a different way. Tori never cried as much or fussed when she was a baby. The tiredness of taking care of her was all her bountiful energy. However, Luis was clingy, reactive, and sensitive. He was a heavy crier, and it wouldn't go well if they didn't read him a bedtime story. He acted more typical of a human baby, then his sister (and later other sister). He liked to be picked up or carried. Usually, he would also cling to people like some sort of koala.

4 years after Luis was Matilda. She was another surprise. The thing with Matilda is that as a baby, she was already pretty gifted, both in her mind and powers (which were one). Matilda was born with gradual paraplegia. She was given a few chances to learn to crawl and walk, but by age 3, she did have to use a wheelchair. She had other health problems by her birth, but her and the rest of the family learned to adapt. Matilda and Luis formed a bond since they were only 4 years apart versus Tori, who was almost a decade ahead of them. Surprising since Luis would easily get jealous of anyone stealing their parents' time, but he didn't mind being a big brother now and protective of his sister.

[areazeromybeloved]

Here are the designs for the male protagonists of the kaijumorpha (excluding Florian)

better look at the characters and a bit on them.

The Old Guys duo:

Ex-Champion of Kanto: Red

Species: Human (dragon half-Demi)

Japanese (with minor Italian).

Age: 35 years old (current)

Trans-man Bisexual

“11 year old overthrows criminal empire is now a dad, more on that later.”

Leader of team sky: Brendan

Species: Human

Blasian (black from Archie and Asian from Maxie)

Age: 34 years old (current)

Non-bi Polyamorous Bisexual.

“God I wish my parents would stop fucking the environment.”

The Bird bastards:

Lost Child: Hilbert

Species: Human (formerly a human and and then an amalgam)

White

Age: 24 years old (current)

Non-binary ace

“Hey kids, wanna see me do a falin but even more tragic?”

Apex of Two Worlds: Ethan

Species:Human (Fire/psychic demihuman)

Hispanic/asian (Japanese)

Age: 34 years old (current)

transmasc bisexual

“Child dies and comes back via local god bird who treats him as his son”

*“Animal I Have Become” plays in the BG*:

Avatar of the Lunar Maw: Elio

Species: Human (avatar for the Lunar maw Theris)

Japanese

Age: 18 years old (current)

Cis MLM polyamorous

“Sometimes, there are those days where you become a Cosmic Liopleurodon and fight god alongside your sister and her alien-jellyfish-fused gf.”

Shield of Galar: Victor

Species: Werebeast

White (Scottish)

Age: 14 years old (current)

Cis Aroace

“Oh hey, that Rose human was a little creepy, I hope he doesn’t cut off my tail and painfully torture me.”

Literally the only reason why the planet isn’t frozen/dead

Savior of Unova: Nate

Species: Human

Filipino

Age: 22 years old (current)

Non-binary MLM

“Unova’s silliest soldier fighting the most serious battles”

Son of Kalos’ Protector: Calem

Species: Human/Theris (Abyss maw) hybrid

White (French)

Age: 23 years old.

Transmasc genderfluid Pansexual

“Oh yeah, my dad’s the 18 foot, pacific rim reference, why do you ask?”

The Original and the (Worse) sequal.

The Diamond Descendant: “Lucas” Lucina

Species: human

Blasian (japanese with a bit of Ainu)

Age: 17 years old (as of current and due to time shenanigans)

Transfem Aromantic (still uses Lucas as a nickname.)

”how are you not dead?!” “I have no idea!”

The platinum ancestor: Akarrei

Species: human

Asian (Ainu)

Age: 19 years old

“So Arceus help me if I see another dimensional rift I’m gonna loose it!”

inspired by @rimson-cassowaries’s villains thing so I did one for the au protagonists!

[galleylapresident]

Further thoughts on the CP9+Paulie soulmate AU:

It's very silly, ngl. It boils down to soulmates not having the same sort of romantic connotation that we have. A soulmate is just someone whose presence will make you stronger and not all soulmates have the same number or type of bonds. Familial and platonic bonds are most common, but it's not unusual for platonic bonds to turn romantic either.

The World Government encourages people to find their soulmates and register the relationship for two main reasons:

1. Soulmate bonds strengthen people, which is allegedly a good thing.

2. Snagging a soulmate is a good way to keep assets that are looking to defect working with the World Government where they belong

Soulmate bonds can fade with enough time and distance, but it's a highly unpleasant affair for everyone involved. Seastone can also block the bonds in the same way death does, which will have no plot impacts at all, I assure you.

A fun twist is that these bonds have a physio-psychic impact on the soulmates. If they spend too long apart it causes physical pain which can only be removed by getting closer. Emotional distance can also cause problems, which is one of the reasons Paulie's bond with the members of CP9 never seems to get better.

Now, as for the soulmate groupings themselves.

Paulie has a strong familial bond with Iceburg, who raised him after his parents died. Paulie spent a lot of time hanging around Tom's Workers and was absolutely distraught when Tom and Cutty Flam died despite not being their soulmate.

He has platonic and familial bonds with Jabra, Kumadori, Fukorou, Kalifa, Kaku and Blueno. They all want to keep him safe and were making plans to get him stationed in Enies Lobby after they got the Pluton plans. Due to Straw Hat shenanigans, obviously this did not go as planned.

He has a platonic but moving toward romantic bond with Lucci, who has the emotional range of a toothpick. They fight/flirt constantly, much to Kaku's annoyance. Their bond is super strong, to the point that Lucci can't be away from Paulie for more than a few days without experiencing crippling pain. Paulie gets this too, but since he has a strong bond with Iceburg it's easier for him to endure it.

CP9 are all bonded with each other and Paulie. He had an interesting few days when the infiltration mission started where he went from having one soulmate(Iceburg) to having five(Iceburg, Kaku, Lucci, Kalifa, and Blueno). They had an interesting few days alternatively panicking about the fact they were all actively deceiving their new soulmate and how they were going to get Jabra, Fukurou, and Kumadori here to test if Paulie was their soulmate too.

They let the bond with Paulie go unregistered for now, but plan to register it after they have the plans so they have a legal excuse to have him brought to Enies Lobby. Yes, they're kind of dumb where interpersonal relationships are concerned, but they're also former child soldiers so give them a break.

Iceburg used to have three soulmates, but he only has Paulie right now so he's a tad bit protective. Their bond is also unregistered.

Emphasis on right now. I'm toying with giving him and Jabra a platonic to romantic bond, but I think it would be funnier if the relationship happened organically.

[klonoadreams]

just thinking about Shanks and Buggy crossing paths, and Buggy is just his usual prickly self and then loses his shit at Mako like "what the fuck is that" and then she just calls Shanks, "Papa!!!"

like wtffff

could lead to future brushes with a baby Mako that just fucking menaces him, because WHOOPSIES, ON THE RUN AND MAKO IS A CHAOTIC BRAT.

Buggy just "hey, go back to your fucking dad." as she sits on his leg, just sweating bullets because he's trying to LEAVE, but now he's got a brat that one of his crewmates brought like "hey, we found this lost child"

and she's just gnawing on their leg.

Makes for a funny reunion years later like "hey fucker, you still hiding dead bodies in closets" and Buggy just "YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, MISSY!!!"

"STOP ACTING LIKE MY DAD, OLD MAN (said in the style that someone would refer to their dad, like oyaji)" like Shanks is Papa, but calling Buggy anything like that just deals SO MUCH psychic damage to him.

For the record, Mihawk is "Dad", and Shanks is "Papa" and at some point, Makino is like "Ma" or "Ma-chan" - kinda punny. Shanks has his own damn polycule too. You cannot deny that, my man collecting members to his own polycule like it's nothing.

Beckman is official "Mama" at some point and he just accepts it. He too, is also part of the polycule. :V

anyways shenanigans!! Lmaoooo.

Also years later, Buggy looking at Luffy's crew like "GOOD GOD THEY"VE COME BACK TOGETHER"

when he sees Sanji and Robin with them, alongside Mako. so many shenanigans lmao

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

(Trails of Cold Steel) Fie, Laura, Emma, Towa, and Sara with a hyper S/O

THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND, NOW THERE ARE TWO OF THEM

Fie mostly remains her deadpan self. It serves as amusing contrast whenever someone looks at her and S/O.

Since she's used to dealing with the hurricanes that are Millium and her other classmates, she knows exactly how to handle them.

And that's mainly by indulging them with her stoic voice not budging an inch.

Though her smirk is evident as she eggs them on.

(Fie) "Yeah, it would be pretty funny if you scared Emma, S/O."

It does get a bit much for her sometimes, when she wants to nap, S/O bursts through the door and makes it very hard to do so.

At the same time, it brings a lot of joy into her life and a nice break from whatever serious business she was doing that day.

Laura could barely deal with Millium, now she had an adult(debatably) version of them to deal with.

Honestly? She has no idea what to do with S/O other than get swept up.

(Laura) "S-S/O! Slow down, please!"

She constantly gets surprised by S/O leaping onto her. While she can carry them no problem, it's always the sheer shock of the ambush that almost has her dropn them.

Laura doesn't hesitate to tell S/O that they need to calm down, but most of the time she secretly enjoys their antics. This was a nice break from solely training her swordsmanship.

Emma is about ready to have a heart attack whenever S/O gets out of sight, because that means they're planning something.

That heart rate of hers spikes if Millium is at all in the vicinity, because whatever it is will result in something chaotic.

(Emma) "Whew, so tired! Alright, now where did they go...?"

Although she doesn't say she does, Emma uses her magic to find them if her patience is starting to thin. Though she can now predict where they're going to scare her from just on instinct alone.

As much as it wears her down, it conversely gives her life to see how happy S/O is with them.

Having someone who just cares only about who you were and not what you were was a nice change of pace.

Towa's S/O is her energy boost for the day.

The second S/O senses Towa overworking herself, they're quick to butt in, even if she insists that she can get it done without hurting herself.

Towa is usually swept off her feet, and much to her dismay, sometimes in front of the others.

(Towa) "S-S/O! Please, not in front of the students!"

Worst of all, everyone usually encourages it as S/O rushes to get her some food or whatever it is they're feeling that day.

Towa sighs and pouts, but she loves the doting S/O gives to her. Not that she'll say it, because she doesn't want to give them the satisfaction.

Sara doesn't mind S/O's upbeat attitude as much as she thought.

It definitely beats a certain someone with a pole up their ass, but she never thought she'd know Claire's pain of trying to wrangle a wild-child.

Though given enough alcohol, and Sara will usually join them in their shenanigans.

(Sara) "Hang on, S/O. Not nearly drunk enough for this."

It brings her such life to watch the serious people in their lives try to deal with S/O.

Sometimes, Sara uses S/O on Major Michael to deal as much psychic damage as possible whenever he brings up her age.