#the second bird higher up kills me every time it looks so silly

[chicago-pigeons]

Double Curiosity

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Happy Birthday David Dastmalchian 🎂🎉🎁🎈

To celebrate, I'm stealing borrowing from my friend's @polkadotjohnson amazing idea of making a Top 10 Loved/Hottest roles of his, with an honourable mention for both~ Here's 30 of my most adored characters of his with little snippets for each, it's a looooong read, and if anyone else wants to make their own, here's a tierlist I made for this exact purpose 💗💗💗

10.

💘 Love of my Life - Dr Fearless

My cringefail boyfriend, I love every single headcanon I hear about him. He was so damn cute even before I fell in love, and now every time I see him I start giggling and kicking my feet lol 😚 I adore how much fun DD has with him, and honestly I’m gunna dress as a vampire for Halloween this year /)w(\ been like 20+ years but I really really wanna do it!

🔥 Hottest Role - Whistling Marauder (Bird Box)

Mother of mercy. We rewatched the whole movie just for him, so naturally he shows up near the end and then died ;w; but that outfit, holy hell. Oh my god. I’m such a sucker for bad boys and this guy is going around forcing people to stare at this eldrich being that’ll destroy you or drive you mad. And he looks goddamn great while doing it. Gunna attach myself to the chain on his jeans. Okay I’m normal again, what a way to start off the list lmao

❣️ Honourable Mention - Luke (Singled Out)

Douchebag. Shitty brother who’s also great if only to save his own ass. Thief. Pure idiot. Irresistible. I knew the moment I saw the clips on youtube that he would so be my type, and seeing the full pilot only proved that. Dude picked a burger over getting his sister, he would treat me so wrong half the time, but then he’d make me waffles and it’d be all better 😊

9.

💘 Love of my Life - The Writer (Making Love)

This one breaks my heart so much. I’ve been in a relationship like this before, and I really want to save him from his. He’s beautiful, he’s talented, his outfit is hot as hell with all the rings and bracelets and necklaces, not to mention the undone shirt buttons, he’s got the emo bangs, he is the complete package for me. The only reason he isn’t higher is because I fell for many others first. I almost never watched this one because my brain was going haywire trying to imagine what kinda scenes I’d find in something with a title like that, and sure enough my face was so red the entire time since I watched with headphones and it starts with him whispering right in my ear, like him asking, ‘Do you love me?’ nearly made me cry, I love him so much. If I could bring specifically him to life I would love the hell outta him until he stopped needing such a painful, self-destructive fake love with the Woman QwQ

❣️ Honourable Mention - Nick (Love is an Elevator)

This one is just a silly little guy /)w(\ right from the start he’s so adorable, I would melt if anything even close to his interaction happened to me, and him just swooning and saying she was beautiful before bailing in tears is so me-coded TwT I would love to go out on a date with him!

🔥 Hottest Role - Abra Kadabra (The Flash)

Abra was so tricky to place because I love him, but as soon as I remembered his buckle outfit from his second episode I knew he had to go under Hot. Like, again, I’m so weak. I love his attitude, I love how he just wants that applause for his showmanship, his ‘powers’ are cool as hell, and DD has the wand in his home now and I think that’s so damn cool 😊 The reveal with him wanting to bring back his alternate timeline family was so sweet I almost cried, and he definitely didn’t deserve to be killed out so instantly right after his redemption. Not even a fan/watcher of the show, but in my head I’m having Flash warn him about it since he’s from the future, so he’s fine now 😌

8.

💘 Love of my Life - James Lewis (Teacher)

James was also incredibly difficult to place because I love him so much ;w; The entire movie I was rooting for him, guy did nothing wrong in the face of what was going on around him, and granted he did take things too far, but… villains are hot 😳 so I won through that entire movie. And he lived! And kept getting to teach! I remember I pointed at the screen when he was putting books away cause that’s my job lol I felt truly close to him in that short moment 😂 Anyway, Arabella didn’t deserve him, like she wasn't into it from the moment they met, every single time he talked she would do this 😬 guy was going through hell and was very clearly in a bad place all around, I can’t fault him for drunkenly saying the wrong thing if it were me, even if it did really hurt me. Gunna give him a new wedding ring to put on when he gets outta prison.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hector (Premature)

He’s so cute!!! I may be weak for villains, but I adore his sweeter roles as well, I’m so glad I got to see him. If I moved to a new city and he was my neighbour I’d know I’d be okay, because honestly he needs to be my roommate like yesterday. A chef who’s afraid to cook because of OCD, I’m sure he’d be able to help me with my own cooking from a safe distance, and I already have some practice as my sibling has OCD and is very strict about how her food is handled, so I’ll have come full circle. I just need to make him more okay with cuddles first…

🔥 Hottest Role - Denham (A Killer of Men)

Denham was another one that was hard to place, because that axe twirls makes me insane, but with what little screentime he gets it all evens out. Another great villain, he’s just senseless violence in a bloody wedding dress and he works it. Love the look, love the vibe, if the world ended and the whole gang was coming at me I’d be honoured if he was the one who got me (I swear I’m not that deranged lmao just thirsty)

7.

💘 Love of my Life - Simon Lynch (Almost Human)

Even now I feel like Simon should be higher, especially since I’ve written my fic about him as well as my deep dive. I’ve said it before but my heart really went out to him, the deep dive says way more than I can fit it here, which probably means he should be higher lol so give that (and maybe the fic too 👉👈😌) a read if you haven’t already, all my love for him went into both.

❣️ Honourable Mention - James Harris (The Employer)

Another adorable character, the bar flashbacks had me blushing every time. We all knew it’d be him, but I’m so glad he pulled through at the end. I want this one to be happy, especially after everything he went through. Absolutely cutiepie, gunna be the one to pay for his dinner after he gets home 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Dwight Pollard (Gotham)

Since I go into all of his roles blind, I had no idea what to expect for this one, but from the start I was hooked. Having him be a crazed cult leader with the biggest, most feral smile and laugh ever stole my heart the things I would let this man do to me sakndskjds I liveblogged his eps to a friend of mine who’s seen Gotham and has been trying to get me to watch it for ages cause I love DC, so she was thrilled as I sat here screaming about everything leading up to his ending :’D I’ve gotten some encouragement to write him, so when I do it’s gunna be so insane I’ll have to tag the hell outta it lmao (btw making these gifs nearly killed me oh my god I need him)

6.

💘 Love of my Life - Joshua Whitmore (Cass)

All the pain I went through trying to get this movie was worth it because it all led to him. I love him, I adore him, I’m so incredibly glad that so many others got to see him and love him too thanks to my trials and tribulations. DD’s only artist role, I got to connect with him on a personal level not shared with the others, and my desire to make sure he’s safe and taken care of is so strong that I wrote 26k about him, they’re two of my most favourite things I’ve ever written. I’ve thrown the ending of the movie out and completely placed it with my own, which can be found in my fics, and until Hugh Schulze DMs me personally and tells me what his vision was, that’s what I’m sticking with forever. So rest easy, he’s free from New York and buyers and dealers and the street and he’s safe and happy and painting again ;w;

❣️ Honourable Mention - Thomas Schiff (The Dark Knight)

The OG, a lot of people’s first roles of his, including mine. I remember seeing this movie in theaters when it came out so that means I saw him up there, on the big screen, and something about him stuck around in my brain until I finally realized my love QwQ Even if he isn’t as fleshed out in my mind to make the actual list, I still needed to include him in some way, I hope he got placed somewhere that wasn't Arkham after Batman stepped in.

🔥 Hottest Role - Cam (Relaxer)

I will never watch Relaxer again. Couldn’t even do it while I was making his scenepack cause so many horrible things happen to Abbie I couldn’t take it. But Cam, oh my god, I need this man. Someday I wanna write this huge fic about the reader trying to date him, and there’s no redemption. He’s still terrible at the end. But that’s what we all love about him, how shitty he is and how the potential is there for him to make us all worse. He sucks, but in the best way, and I kinda need him to maybe bully me please 😳 (making that first gif nearly made me blackout why is he doing pushups)

5.

💘 Love of my Life - Bob Taylor (Prisoners)

When I started adding names to my list of men I loved, Bob wasn't even on it at first I think, despite liking him in the movie. Then I saw more with him and added him to crushes. Now I’m fully in love with him, and he breaks my heart every single day. He was hurting for so long, even when we were watching I couldn’t place the blame on him while the rest of my family were convinced just like Loki that he was the one, but no matter what I couldn’t. The second I saw his sweet smile I told them there was no way it was him, and sure enough I was right. Another character who didn’t deserve what happened to him, I’ve been slowly helping him with my headcanons, but in my personal queue I have a fic planned for him and he will have no more sad days when I do 😭 I also have a bunny plush I’d had for years, my dad bought it for me and it’s been sitting on my bed ever since, and when I’m sad I hold it and pretend Bob gave it to me, it’s honestly got me through some much needed therapy because if he could go about his day with that kind of trauma then I could be brave and call about my own mental health :’)

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lonny Crane (The Belko Experiment)

This one’s a bit of a double whammy, cause I love him, but the switch to violence had me staring 👀 Either way, he didn’t deserve his death, but since it is a killing game type movie he was doomed from the start, at least his seemed instant 🥺 Someday I’ll write a fixit for him too, it was just too much for him back to back to back, he really didn’t deserve his final moments to have him as a villain even though I would really love to be lifted up like that aklskjdskds okay I’m normal again

🔥 Hottest Role - Ray Watkins (The Rookie)

Have you seen this man? No really, have you seen him? The twirl, the shirt lifting on his hips, the cold but also fun villainy, the nonchalance to mask the cruelness underneath. I need him. This one is not a Want, he is a Need and I need him. I hope that he gets to come back in the future to fully wrap up his plot along with the cop’s plot, pleasepleaseplease, otherwise I will die unsatisfied.

4.

💘 Love of my Life - Kurt Goreshter (Ant-Man 1-2)

I believe he might’ve been the second role I’d ever seen, but only after I really got into the MCU after Endgame. I skipped Ant-Man in my original watches, since I was mostly just into the Avengers and Cap (mainly Bucky lol) in general, but when I finally did a full marathon I really enjoyed the first movie. Cannot remember my feelings for him now since it’s been about 4 years, but I do know when I went back to rewatch in March I fell the second I saw him 🥰 the hair, the accent, the outfit AGAIN, and those hand tattoos, this is another Perfect Man. My crush on him is incredibly strong, it told me that yeah I was really starting to fall for DD (at that point I’d just seen Demeter a few times, and then Oppenheimer on accident) and it officially kicked off my marathon that eventually led me to my collection I have today. 

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lester Billings (The Boogeyman)

My family actually watched this without me way before my crush began, so when I saw he was in it I just had to finally sit down and watch it myself. Cue me hurriedly typing to my sibling when he showed up lol this man is SAD! He’s so beautiful and sad, I just wanna make a new family with him (I would be a parent for him, that’s the extent of my love) so he can be happy again. I love the backstory I made up for him way more than the original story, sorry Stephen King but you made him awful and I don’t want that one. I’m gunna save this man and he WILL smile again, that’s a Ray Guarantee.

🔥 Hottest Role - The Vampire (Cora)

Now, to start, this one falls prey to Very Bad Writing Choices. I will not deny that. Like, even with the allegory of the whole thing (that I did not see cause I just saw a short vampire story honestly) it's very much Not Good. But that’s why I’m removing him from the short and keeping him. In fact, go read polkadotjohnson’s fics on him, they’re fantastic and I adore how she wrote him. I someday wish to do my own, because otherwise everyone who can’t look past the Very Bad Writing Choices are getting straight up robbed of this one. Those double fangs need to introduce themselves to my neck pronto, you see what I’m saying? He’s so goddamn hot, DD needs to play a very serious vampire role again so everyone can see the Vision, he wants to do it, I need to win the lottery so I can fund this movie myself, that’s my new life’s goal.

3.

💘 Love of my Life - Jack Delroy (Late Night With the Devil)

The first movie I saw in theaters after my crush began! My friend saw him in a tweet about it and linked me to it so I thought it was already out, but I ended up having to wait two weeks and it nearly killed me ;w; I went in completely blind, which is good cause the trailer spoils so many great shots unfortunately, and the entire time I was swooning. Like, I usually whisper to my sibling during movies if we have comments, we’re very talkative at home when we watch stuff, but this time I was just sitting there staring with hearts in my eyes without pause. I’m in love with this man, plain and simple, I’m so glad I was able to get to see it since it didn’t come to the theater closest, we had to drive an hour away and when dad joked about me paying for the tickets since I was the one who wanted to see it, I did in a heartbeat. I wanted to see it again, but it was only there a couple weeks, so by the time I was able to go it was gone and I’m still upset about it. I’d sell my soul for this man, I love writing for him so much, I’m so glad my crush on Wojchek bloomed just in time for me to see this.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hank (Virgin Alexander)

I avoided this one at first because the trailer was making me cringe and I was going crazy over what kinda sexy awkward role he’d have in it, but I was pleasantly surprised in the end. I think the movie is actually cute, despite some stuff still making me cringe, and Hank is literally the most perfect boyfriend. If he showed up randomly in my life I would date him in a second, hands down. He’s so shaped like a friend, I know I’d always have fun with him even when we’re not Having Fun, and that’s all you can ever ask for in a relationship 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Breck Montanari (Double Black)

Okay first of all I gave him that last name. Second of all, I wrote 70k about this man and I am so in love with him that I own him now. I’ve taken him from Sara Woomer, he’s mine now. He has a full past, gave him a future and a partner, there’s no way I couldn’t have fallen in love with him. Unfortunately that fic will never be shared as it’s private, but know that, again, until Sara Woomer DMs me personally and shares everything else about this world, this is my new canon for him. And the cult. And the entire area where he lives. And several of the members. And the new Double Black who was such a chill dude that I made my bff love him too. This is my secret legacy. He only lost out to my #2 because there’s no way he couldn’t be my #2.

2.

💘 Love of my Life - Wojchek (The Last Voyage of the Demeter)

The reason I finally learned his name QwQ I went into this movie blind, dad really wanted to see it and I love horror so I went with him, and the second I saw him I said, ‘Oh that guy! I know that guy!’ since by then I’d seen Kurt and Abner a few years earlier and vaguely remembered him. I spent the whole movie then dreading his end thanks to the opening lines, and I’m pretty sure I quietly yelled at the screen when he fell and then got got after praying he’d be okay TwT After Abner, he’s the first DD role I ever shipped with, and when my crush officially restarted I ended up writing my entire plot for him and Addy that night before bed. I love him so much, he’s my jolly sailor bold who stole my heart by crying over the thought of having to lose his home. He’ll forever own a special place in my heart because of all this, I can’t imagine anyone else taking this spot.

🔥 Hottest Role - Murdoc (MacGyver 2016)

Murdoc was the first TV role of his I checked out after I saw as many movies as I could that interested me (mostly all the ones on Prime sans a couple, my collection was very very small by then) and the moment I saw him be mentioned I was ready to go. The Alice in Wonderland vague text, running and then getting shocked before falling two floors, showing up with that hair, I was not prepared for everything else they were about to throw at me. Murdoc is one of my most favourite characters now, he’s so much fun, I adore everything about him, I’ve only edited with him twice and written him once, but I need to do both so much more! This one is hot as fuck, he’s adorable, he loves his son, he’s got tools, he’s utterly sadistic, he’s a silly little guy. This is another Perfect Man, I cannot wait to decide on his plot with Addy because there’s too many fun possibilities I honestly might just make multiple.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Willy Cunningham (The Domestics)

Now… you might all be thinking… why the hell is this guy a #2 honourable mention in the face of all the others… and the answer is… I’m a freak 😀 I’ll never say, but my eyes were opened to him, and my god, I will literally never be the same. I just need him and that insanely feral energy okay, lemme have this.

1.

💘 Love of my Life - Abner Krill (The Suicide Squad)

The love that started it all, I think I fell for him the moment he walked outta his cell and got teased. The love I feel for him goes so deep, it only compares to one other, and whenever I work on my plot for him and Addy I always get choked up. The ultimate one who didn’t deserve what he got, I actually refused to watch the movie again after he died, straight up did not watch until my marathon started, and as soon as I saw him in that cell it all came back. I instantly fell back in love with him, and thus his Addy plot has the most love put into it to make sure he’s happy and safe. I thought that maybe there’d be another to win my heart as my marathon grew, but nope he’s still there sharing it with my other #1, and seeing him can instantly bring a smile to my face no matter how I’m feeling. 

After the movie I read the trivia again and my crush on DD himself began, so it’s all thanks to him and Wojchek that I’ve met the people I know today and have created so many things in such a short time. When I hit my lowest low in years I just sat at my desk and held the funko I have of him and just cried it all out, and it honestly helped me get out of that spiral. Thanks to him I now have a Polka-Dot Man collection (still missing one figure and maybe a signed print and poster 👉👈🥰) and if I could get a plushie of him to join the ton I already have I’d buy him in a second. Maybe someday, if I have any courage, I’ll bring my funko or something to a con where DD is attending and get it signed, either him or my other #1, and I’ll cherish it forever.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Jude (Animals)

Like all the others, I went into this movie completely blind. I didn’t know DD wrote it or its significance to him until after it was over and the credits rolled. So the entire time I was watching I was falling in love with him, he was so incredibly my type in the moments he was actually happy that it’s insane, I spent the whole movie just saying how much I would date him in better circumstances. We were sadly betting which one of them was going to die as things just got worse, me and my sibling were watching so miserably, and then we were rewarded with a happy ending despite the bittersweetness. And then the credits rolled, after me repeatedly wondering why he’d accept a role like this after knowing at least about his addiction and it all fell into place. I haven’t been able to watch again so far now that I know a lot of what happened to Jude also happened to him, it breaks my heart too much, but I still love him deep down and I hope he was also able to heal after the credits rolled.

🔥 Hottest Role - Johnson (Reprisal)

Tied for first with Abner as the ultimate love of my life and claiming this one all to himself, Johnson is the Most Perfect Man. Literally, no other DD role can top him in my heart aside from Abner. I honestly almost skipped Reprisal entirely because the promo image on his imdb didn’t grab me (I’m such a fake fan I’m so ashamed of myself), but when I was done with everything else and wanted to see more, I downloaded it without ep9 since he wasn't in it, and started watching. What followed next was me falling so in love with the show that I spent forever trying to get that missing episode back from near dead torrents cause I needed to watch it even though he wasn't in it. Reprisal is my Roman Empire, I am constantly thinking about it and him and Matty, not just for my fic but just because I love it all so fucking much. 

Johnson himself is so fascinating, I’m incredibly in love with him and everything about him, he’s unlike any other role DD has played that there’s a complete disconnect in my mind, he’s just Johnson. He’s so goddamn hot I missed out on literally everything the first round because I was watching him so hard, Matty and Ethan were nonexistent to me and I’m madly in love with Matty now so let that sink in, and when I rewatched it immediately after with my parents it was like I was watching for the first time. I’m loving writing for him (and Matty and Ethan of course) so much that my thoughts go back to him daily, and it almost always includes me being on the verge of tears because of how insanely good this script is and how these boys bring me so much joy while also shattering my heart. 

Making the gif below no joke did make me cry like this show is my greatest weakness right now you guys don't even understand how much it and Johnson mean to me.

I need to edit more for him and them and the show in general, if I had endless money and all the confidence in the world I would truly fund this show single handedly so it can finish the way it was supposed to. I’m so mad at Hulu for giving me the greatest love(s) of my life before taking him away years before I’d ever know him, with no physical media or merch to at least collect to numb the pain. At some point I need to get some promo pics printed out as actual posters, I need this show on my wall so I can always see him.

[din0lover]

Funny post of all the little "ghosties" talking moments in the captions

(It's ccbbh but also there might be some missing I did the best I could in trying to get it all lol enjoy!)

-

Signs of Pomme and Ramon

/

"Fudge I missed the sign"

"Maybe bad should stay dead a bit longer"

"Stress never killed anybody, except for the people it did"

"Isn't that cannibalism " (referring to pomme apple die comment)

-

Zinc cave

"Richas is going to die" (richas digging straight down)

" Oh Fudge not this one" (referring to cave they went into go collect zinc)

"This is limestone not zinc"

"Look how pretty"

"Let's go mine proceeds to mine limestone"

"These statements are now canonical ghosty thoughts"

"The block looks chewable" (referring to the limestone block)

/

"Canonical ghosty bathroom break"

"And canonically left alone" (after he got back from the bathroom break)

/

"There are going to be so mad at us when the eggs die" (after richas digs straight down deeper into the cave)

"Ghosties have bad hand eye coordination" (after falling in lava)

"50 zinc that's enough to make 1/10 of a drill"

"Free stuff"

"Lucy what are you doing over there"

"Later peasants I'm warping away, what the Fudge, that's crazy" (referring to richas warping out of the cave)

-

Leaving Zinc Cave

"All your stones belongs to me"

"Give me your stone I'm going to eat it all"

"Nom nom nom nom nom nom"

(ramon and pomme digging up out of the cave)

/

"Well this is the end for me I'm afraid"

"Should've taken those swimming lessons"

(Water bucket was placed down for a split second this guy is so dramatic LOL)

/

"You know, I'm holding sugar cane, it's magic, but why am I holding sugar cane? Is it a coincidence Or is there a higher meaning to it? Not even caption viewers will find out"

/

"Yep some of you realized all stream it was me reading the signs."

"Yep what you thought it was magic?, no I was reading them."

"The entire time thats where the captions come from."

"No way /j"

"The poor people without the captions right now."

/

That's it Ramon takes one call, I'm going to narrate their actions"

"Pomme looks around aimlessly "

"Ramon thinks I'm done cave mining it's probably best to leave"

"Pomme thinks Fudge dirt that means we're close to the surface but I hate digging through it."

"Don't worry we're good"

"Now it's off to do more adventuring"

"Sorry I'll stop being silly"

-

Finally out of the Zinc Cave

"You got this

You got this

You got this

You got this

You got this

You can do it"

"Freedom of fudge, worst ad time ever"

"Actually no we had some horribly timed ads."

"Dumbo, the moon, why did it translate it to that? I think there was a mistranslation chat."

"And pomme sacrifices Ramon to the squids" (Ramon fell out of the boat)

"Hey guys maybe we should take that zinc to Badboyhalo house instead"

-

Repairing the town of Fobo farm

/

Richas : "I mean I am not human I don't know, that works with tio dad and my dad's"

Ccbbh aka "ghosties" : "he's onto something "

/

"Huh bird"

"Nosy ghosties"

"Lucy Hi"

"So wholesome"

/

"3 minutes till restart"

"One minute before void"

"Toxic not the backup"

"The lore killer"

/

"Sometimes I still hear his voice" (referring to bbh it's almost like we can still hear him in the after life)

/

"There comes a day in every pet owners life" (referring to richas killing his caged amethyst crab)

/

"It is a good way to keep memories, if only bad was doing that." (That vile man he needs to be put in a panini press)

/

"I'm running out of sad music"

/

"Guys stop trolling the Chatters and telling them I died IRL"

"I can still hear his voice"

/

-

Group hug for all

/

"And it's a group hug"

"Get down here richas it's group hug time"

"Oh my gosh he is dying"

"Okay now he is good"

"Group hug richas, don't let him go up"

"Don't let him wiggle his way up there"

/

"He can't get away from The Angst train,there's a train and it's full angst"

"I love angst"

"I'm going to be honest this has been a very wholesome night but it is a lot of angst."

"Choo Choo"

-

Richas getting down again

/

"Crazy people oh my gosh"

"Gave me a heart attack right now"

"Oh my gosh they actually just trying to kill him in front of me"

"That's crazy"

"Where's you armor ?! He's not wearing armor!"

"Oh my gosh just let him die, finish him now"

"That be the worst time for a creeper to just slither its way and explode right next to them "

"Like actual nightmare fuel"

"You're going to give me a heart attack"

"He's going to die chat like if we don't see the death and no one else is online it doesn't really happen."

"It's like a tree that falls in the forest, and no one around here it doesn't make a noise."

"Pretty sure that's how it works chat mathematically "

-

Slight BBH love <3<3

- "I'm sorry chat thus has been a long stream, I'm trying to keep myself chucking along, I'm enjoying it but it is a long stream."

"Two really long streams in a row"

(Peace and love ccbbh thanks for the long streams with the eggs and other memes <3<3)

-

Back to richas and his vendetta against group hugs

/

"Rebel Richas, no hugs, hugs are for the weak"

/

"Oh my gosh they're going to actually kill him, I need to make sure to look away before he dies"

*looks away*

"There we go"

"If I dont see the death it doesn't count"

/

"This is like a slightly unhinged nature documentary "

"Bros really going to fall and die literally if he's not careful oh my gosh"

/

*commentating*

"Quick everyone lets vandalize their building even more."

/

"Oh my gosh please just don't do it."

"He's going to drown."

"No don't die drowning underwater it will kill you instantly "

"Stop"

/

"Bro really said that I'm going to maybe die someday and choose that day to be today."

"He's crazy chat, oh my goodness."

"Oh my goodness please holy crap."

"Let me build or I will die, thats your only two choices here" (even after death bbh still having beef with richas that's crazy)

/

"Yippee!"

/

"Bro better-" ( looking to see if richas is wearing armor and then proceeds to find out he's wearing diamond pants)

"I've been wearing pants this whole time. "

"Someone who doesn't have their cosmetic armor off and they just see pants walking around."

/

"Mimi"

-

Back home

/

"Confused but following "

"Where am i?"

"He's still not wearing armor either "

-

Fin (I just realized that didn't bbh say he be recording his audio too? I just transcript all this for nothing I'm done on a serious note though it was fun to read the captions and hope you find slight entertainment in what I was able to capture lmk if I missed any which I probs did well im off) (also forgive me if I did some misspelling I did this really late)

Extra clip:

[superkitty4789]

Here we go with another list! This time it's....

Top 10 Metroid Characters + Honorable mentions

Spoilers ahead, be warned

 

Honororable mentions: Kraid, 6 bounty hunters from Prime Hunters 

Kraid. Fat fuck. Love him. I don't know a lot about him, but he looks cool

The other hunters from Prime Hunters also look cool. Plus, they're each unique with their own things going on. They are all amazing but missed the cut.

10 Gray Voice 

My least favorite of the chozo parents of Samus. I've never read the comics, so I'm going off little info, but he looks cool and helped raise Samus. The chozo are cool in general, so it boosts him up to 10th. Congrats, Gray Voice

9 Quiet Robe

A chozo I actually know about! I love Quiet Robe's story, and I kinda wished he had lived. One of my biggest wants for the metroid series growing up was for Samus to find loving chozo, so I was sad when he died. But! He's still a good character, and he earns his spot on my list

8 Ghor

Very cool character! I love that he's essentially a gentle giant until he gets corrupted. I wonder what could've been if he hadn't. He is an epic robot dude who deserved better... but at least his fight was cool.

7 Old Bird Old grandfather birb! Yes! Love him. Potentially , the only reason he isn't higher is because I don't know much about him. But I love the Grandfather birb

6 Ridley

I hate that he's so low...but the other 5 are just so awesome to me. Well, there's a lot about Ridley I like. He's one of my favorite Nintendo villains for his viciousness and cruelty. He doesn't shy away from murder and that's kind of a suprise for a Nintendo villain. He's ruthless and heartless and the cunning God of death, and he's epic. He's the perfect arch-enemyfor Samus, as she's pretty mature for a Nintendo character, too. I kinda headlining that he looks forward to fighting Samus because he views her as a worthy adversary...obe he'd like to kill, of course,but worthy all the same. Overall, Ridley is a great villain

5 U-Mos 

OK, this is kind of embarrassing. Part of the reason I like him so much is because, as a dumb preteen, I had a self insert where I was from Samus's planet and got adopted by the luminoth instead of the chozo. It was very dumb and very cringe, but it made me really like U-Mos because I made him my OC's adopted father. Even without all that, though, I think he's a solid character who serves his role to help tell an amazing story. Plus... he's the guardian of the defenseless and sleeping luminoth, and I think that's great!

4 Raven Beak

I did not see an evil chozo coming, so he took me by suprise....but that said, it was a good one. I kinda just expected all chozo to be good, but it makes sense that that's not the case. Every sentient species probably has at least one bad apple. I love that he wears armor and his boss fight. Also, it's amazing that he's like Samus's evil adoptive dad. He's great. Love him. I hope he comes back like Ridley keeps doing.

3 Samus

Ugh, it hurts to put her so low. It physically pains me... but it must be done. I remember the day I found out Samus was a girl. I was playing Brawl with my older brother, and she used he final smash. I was taken aback. A girl wearing armor and being badass!? Nowadays, it's silly to think that buy it was mindblowing back then. She's epic and so freaking badass! She's so strong-willed, and I love that she represents strong women so well (Ignoring Other M. It isn't Canon in my mind) I love Samus. she's one of my favorite protagonists in all of gaming for how epic she is.

2 Dark Samus

She's so cool! Side note her theme is my favorite metroid song. From the very moment we see her secret ending in Prime 1 to her last moment inPrime 3, Dark Samus is amazing. She's such a good antagonist who just wants to absorb phazon until Samus pisses her off. I love that it makes sense how she keeps coming back and her fights are my favorite part about Prime 2 and my second favorite part about Prime 3. Absolute icon.

1 Rundas

Ughhhh. I wish so bad that he didn't die! He was so coooool! (Pun not intended) His ice powers were a marvel to watch, and his personality had me at the edge of my seat! I wanted so badly for Samus to save him and her owing him one to be resolved! I wanted so badly for him to help take on Dark Samus with Samus. But that didn't happen. At least his boss fight was cool, and he got some screentime to show me how amazing he was. Some people might not like how high i put him,but Rundas will probably always be my favorite Metroid character.

Tier List time!

C: Kraid, Kanden, Trace, Noxus, Spire, Weavil, Sylux

B: Gray Voice, Quiet Robe, Ghor

A: Old Bird, Ridley, U-Mos, Raven Beak

S: Samus, Dark Samus, Rundas

[ctrlaltentreat]

the bread of enlightenment

you may be wondering why i haven’t been so active on here lately. see, i’ve been going through some changes... working on some personal things, and i would like to share my experience with you today. maybe you can take away something useful from it.

it was a dreary monday morning, walking around the office park. i was thinking about a lot of things... for the first time ever really. i heard of people doing this whole “introspecting” thing before but i never really got it. but anyway i was thinking about things such as... what is the purpose of life? what comes after death? why did God give us bread if it makes us fat? I was so tired of my keto diet. how little i knew then. how stupid, how small-minded i was. suddenly... there was a rustling in the bushes. i thought it was my drunk boss again.

what would occur over the next few hours, some of which are now a blur, would become the strangest, most life-altering experiences of my life.

i woke up in a dark room. i was strapped... like literally strapped. i was understandably wondering to myself, where the fuck did i get all these guns? i thought, crap, did i get kidnapped by the NRA again? 

a figure stepped into the light. “you can get rid of the guns, that was just a power play.” 

“it was a power play to give... me the guns?” 

“yes antiNY, you’re beginning to see it now.” 

“who... who is antiny?”

“it is your new name. you see ANTIny, i’ve been watching you from afar.” 

i knew it. i had felt like i was being watched, ever since... the Storm... sometimes i’d come home at night and all the lights would be out. i would hear these faint whispers in the wind, a smell of warm yeast... it freaked me the hell out. it felt like the Carb Devil was after me.

the words he spoke next enraptured me.

he said “son, in life, sometimes, there are certain sacrifices we have to, make. sometimes, we have to give up something, we love, in order to achieve a higher purpose. i see that you are on a wrong, path. cutting out bread won’t make that, cute himbo in accounting want to fuck you.”

wow... he really had been watching me. it all made so much sense. it felt like he knew me better than i knew myself.

by this time the Doctor had walked away. i heard some clanging sounds, almost like a pan being taken out of an oven.

“who... are you?”

“who am i? Ha! whoo ammm I! my silly boy, that is not important now. all the answers to your questions will be revealed in due time. now,

it is time, 

to begin, 

your 

initiation.”

i barely had time to wonder why he was taking a ten second pause between each word when he whipped out... the bread suit.

i was horrified. 

"now... you will begin to see the light.”

“no! i can’t! i’ve worked so hard to stay in ketosis!”

“i made it, special for you AnTinY, your very own bun cage.”

“nooooooooooooooooo!”

this is where things start to get fuzzy. i was so desperate, i thought, i could never kill anyone... but i couldn’t go through keto flu again. i tried every gun, but they were all made of cake. i slunk down into the corner of the room, writhing. i felt like i was being smothered by an evil pillsbury doughboy. 

i blacked out.

next thing i knew, i was in the bun suit, hurdling towards my death.

i remember getting this strange feeling as a kid when i watched the birds by andrew hickock. watching the birds attack all those funny speaking, modestly dressed people made me shiver. sure, that would be scary to anyone. but no, i felt this on a spiritual level. somehow he could tell just by looking at the back of my head, my grandpa said to me, “watch out son, thats gonna be you some day.” i thought he was just trying to scare me. i didn’t know what he meant until now.

“now aNtIny, you will begin to see the lesson, the beauty. you must not only think of yourself and your puny desires, but think of, the Birds.” 

I thought no, not today. i’m not gonna die. i should have accepted a membership to the NRA. 

i tucked and rolled out of the car. and kept rolling. the fucking bread buns made me bounce and fly like a loose tire on a racetrack. after what seemed like hours, i landed on the beach. i learned a lesson that day alright: you can’t escape your fate.

but you can put on a bread suit, and that way the sea gulls will be so occupied with the sweet, sweet bread that they’ll forget the mission they’ve been sent on to assassinate one of the future’s most dangerous political opponents. that’s right. i’m (redacted).

after a stay at the hospital and some physical therapy i made a full recovery.  i have never felt more free than i did that day. and its all because of CULT. they quite literally, and figuratviely, saved my life. did you get weird, haunting feelings as a kid that seem to point to a greater destiny? are you stuck on the pointless hamster wheel of death? are you looking for protection? from ted cruz?

sometimes, i feel............................... yeah.

a few months later, i was walking through the office park again getting ready to quit my job and join my CULT comrades on the conquest for bread... just then, i heard a voice come out from behind the bushes... or was it the clouds...

“i told you son.”

“grandpa!?”

--

thank you for hearing my story. i hope you will strongly consider the words you heard with your earholes to think about it with your brainmeat today please consider joining CULT today. all personal lessons the Doctor gives you are individualized, i just happened to have this bread obsession... but, he already knew that, didn’t he... that son of a gun. anyway, anticentrism ⚑

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pevUK8Ftms8&t=2s

[ktheist]

pretty girls don’t get hurt | m

synopsis. your mom has been asking you for a grandchild - not even a son-in-law but the baby to said nonexistent son-in-law! and your dad is hitting an age where he can barely work anymore. at some point you’re going to take over his position as the chairman of the family hospital but you know nothing about medicine. that’s where kim seokjin comes in. he’ll marry you and become the chairman so you can keep your ceo position and you’ll get a child out of him too. it’s like killing two birds with one stone.

except there’s one problem: you’ve never met the man and you need him to agree to the marriage first. okay, make that two problems.

muses. heir!doctor!seokjin x heiress!ceo!reader x best friend!heir!taehyung

words. 15.6k

contents. slowburn. sexual tension. impregnation kink. daddy/older men kink. viagra is involved lmao. 

warnings. matured content.

verse. knj. myg. kth. pjm. jjk. jhs. story time.

x

“you want my what?”

seokjin’s jaw hangs loose, brows coming together in a show of frustrated bewilderment. it’s tells you enough that he heard you the first time but then again, you’re not asking him for dinner. you’re asking him for-

“your hand in marriage.” glossed lips curl upwards underneath the pristine white cup of hot coffee from the vending machine.

you watch as his widened eyes narrow. lips smack together and finally anger settles in the muscles of his hardening expression. “you’re joking.”

it’s understandable that he’d feel offended. even more so when it’s coming from a stranger who strode right into his office and introduced herself as the chairman’s daughter - the ceo. that’s probably the only reason he agreed to spare you his time - and you’re spending it for this.

it’d be a lie if you say you weren’t surprised that he didn’t know the ceo of the hospital he’s working at but judging from the way he treats you, like he has better things to do - lives to save, you know he’s that type of person. the mad scientist version of a doctor. doesn’t attend annual dinners. doesn’t take off days. he’s perfect.

“dad’s getting old and he needs someone to succeed him but i don’t know anything about medicine - i’m more of a businesswoman and the board wants someone of a clinical background to continue the tradition. if it were up to me, medical expenses would be much higher per patient but i’m also not a capitalist so i need someone on the field to tell me how things are at the hospital so we don’t overcharge nor do we undercharge.”

his eye is twitching at the end of your words and his jaw is clenched in suppression of agitation. at this point, you’re going to have to keep it short so not to drop the whole bomb on him before he himself explodes. “so how bout it? you marry me and become the next chairman and i’ll take care of all the non-clinical related matters. if you were to decline... i can’t guarantee things will remain the same after dad retires.”

“my break is over. it’s nice meeting you miss ___ but i hope we don’t run into each other again.” the chair screeches backwards when he stands up abruptly before you can even finish your sentence. he didn’t even check the time when he swipes his phone off the table and slips it right into his pocket. his words are as clear as day: this is the first and last time we meet.

“you still have ten more minutes, doctor kim.” for some reason he hasn’t stormed off - dare you say, he’s even taking what you said seriously - good. because you’re not here for a laugh either. you meet his heated gaze with ease. “i’m not sure you understand but you’re the cinderella and i’m the prince charming.”

you take out a single midnight scented card and slide it over to seokjin. “and this is a proposal, not a blackmail. call me when you’re ready to talk about the terms for the prenup.”

x

it’s been a week since you left your card with seokjin.

now, sitting in your office, the scene keeps replaying in your mind like a broken record. a scream erupts in the otherwise pleasantly silent room as you slump in your seat, hands digging into your hair as though if you rub your head hard enough, the memories would fade away. “taehyung, how did i even get that confidence? a prenup? he didn’t even say yes!”

the aforementioned man spares you a glance from the couch he’s lying on before going back to typing away on his phone. it’s probably yuju - one of his recent acquaintances. if you remember correctly, she’s the daughter of sbs’ ceo.

“boys are simple minded beings, give it another day and he’ll call you.” he casually assures, this time not even look away from his phone.

the sleek back hair and black button down underneath seokjin’s white coat flashes at the back of your mind. you don’t see that many doctors wearing something that needs ironing to work that often. sure there’s a dress code but your dad isn’t strict about it - all that mattered to him is the quality of one’s work. for all he cares, these doctors can come to work in pj’s. it’s you that had to make sure they don’t come in pj’s. collared t-shirts are acceptable. so are sneakers instead of heeled shoes. but kim seokjin was nothing less of button down, a well made tie and polished black shoes.

it shows that-

“he’s a man, not a boy.”

this time, taehyung’s fingers freeze on the screen before he turns his cheeks to you with an unfazed expression - as though he’d expected this but still got disappointed when he hears it. “so it’s his age? you wanna marry him because he’s nine years older than you?”

there’s something about the way he singles out the reason you decided it was seokjin, that makes you look away in shame. but you still force out a laugh in a last ditch attempt to brush it off but it sounds awkward in every octave. “ha ha ha ha what are you talking about? he’s the most eligible marriage prospect - that’s why.”

“there’s another one.” he points out. still unconvinced, “that suho guy - he’s also a fellow. also an only child-”

you speak over him,“-but his background is so-so. civil servant parents. went to an ordinary school. you think he’ll adapt to the pressure as quick as seokjin?” suho’s smiling picture peeks from underneath the documents you’d been reviewing before the flashback of your bold proposal comes and haunt you. it’s his resume along with every physician working at the hospital for more than eight years, that you’d obtained from your dad’s secretary. “you know whoever becomes my husband and assume the chairman position is gonna get chewed out alive by the board. it has to be him - it has to be seokjin.”

a sigh echoes from somewhere across from you as taehyung sits up, brows furrowed together as he rubs his head as if it’ll make the the problem go away. “yeah, but he left the social scene a decade ago. you think he’ll walk back in just like that?”

“his records have been nothing but remarkable. he sticks around and works overtime. he’s been one of the most consistent physicians that worked on every holidays. doesn’t take off days. basically a workaholic who loves his job way too much - he doesn’t need to enter the social scene. not when i’m his wife.” a grin spreads across your face by the end of it - all this time, you’d been reading the report about him but once you’ve actually put it in words, the chances of him saying yes seems to sound more real, “he’s gonna keep working as the chairman and ignore anything the board says. he’s perfect.”

“yeah, okay let’s say he is perfect and there’s no reason for him to say no except one,” taehyung pauses for a more dramatic effect, lips twitching upwards slyly as if he knows it’s already got you on the edge of your seat, “what if he has a girlfriend he wants to marry?”

and that’s when your world comes crashing down like waves against the rocks but you don’t like the smug look on taehyung’s face, “yeah but with his schedule, it doesn’t seem like he has one.”

“you never know - they could very well be living together. plus, it’s not like he has to report his dating life to the hospital and he seems like a private enough man to keep it on the low even from his colleagues.”

his words are barely registering but the longer the second stretches on with your thoughts running wild, the faster your heart seems to race. but one thing’s for sure. taehyung’s here because you’re supposed to be discussing the partnership.

“if you’re not gonna talk about work, then get out.” your eye visibly twitches - all of a sudden your best friend since you were in diapers’ presence serves more as a nuisance than a blessing.

“you’re mad, aren’t you?” a grin spreads across his lips before he bursts into laughter - he’s the only person that would laugh in the face of death, “man you’re full of ego - i guess you should be. i mean, if all else fails, he might just say yes because of your face, right, sparky?”

he’s using that nickname he used to call you when you were kids. your love - or as taehyung would put it, obsession for shines and sparkles in diamonds peaked at the age of ten thanks to your mom’s hobby of collecting dimes. she’d sold everything off after she got bored of them and needed space for the arts she bought - her new found hobby. but you remained true to your love for diamonds and symbol of riches and bought half of her collection.

over time, he starts using it less and less and only for reasons to get a rise out of you. where did that cute boy who called you sparky because he thought you were as pretty as the diamonds, go?

all he is now is a devil incarnate. with that height and silly grin of his, he easily antagonize you. and you always give in. 

“you’re supposed to be on my side and give me assurance!” you toss a balled up paper, aiming right in his face but instead of hitting the mark, he easily catches it.

“how’s this for assurance? you’re only gonna hurt yourself if you throw a ball like that.” he picks his blazer off the handrest and makes a beeline for the door when he senses the smoke coming out of your ears, “i’m late for my date, see you later!”

x

it’s exactly fifteen hours later that you receive a call from seokjin.

instead of meeting up at the cafeteria, he’d directed you to flower child, one of the most coveted fine dining restaurants in seoul two days after the call. it turns out he’d made a reservation - and you’re no fool to the long waiting line to get a table. he must’ve booked it some time after your first meeting.

he’s made some effort into putting on a black blazer and matching pants. hair styled to perfection. he may have cut his family off but he hasn’t completely abandoned the way he lived up till a decade ago. you allow yourself to check him out once - when he’d stood up at your arrival and pushed the chair for you.

thankfully, you’re not too underdressed. a creme blouse and grey pencil skirt suit any kind of formal setting.

“have you thought about what you want to include in the prenup?” you ask after the server leaves with your order.

seokjin seems more collected this time. or maybe it’s the incense and dimmed lighting that gives off a more suitable atmosphere to talk about marriage.

either way, you don’t expect the man to chuckle - a short, wistful one. as though he truly, honestly believes- “why would you want to marry an old man like me?”

you know what he’s asking: there’s got to be a catch. straightening your back and crossing it over your chest loosely, you decide to come clean - the full truth. “you’re only thirty-four but i won’t lie - you have a price on your head, doctor kim.”

the server comes back with a small cart and a bucket of chilled red wine. you wait until he pours a third of both glasses and goes away. but seokjin doesn’t appear all that eager for your elaboration - it’s almost as though he’s already known. or at least expected that much.

“your mother is willing to pay anyone who marries you a whooping ten million if the lucky bride brings you back to your family.” you watch as he studies the density of the wine, twirling the glass gently with a sort of tilt on his lips like a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “but i won’t make you reconcile with your family. i’ve told you my intentions - i need someone who knows the ins and outs of the hospital since don’t have any clinical background and it’d be easier if we were husband and wife.”

it’s in that moment that seokjin tears his eyes off the wine and captures your gaze. in the absence of the sunlight, those brown eyes appear more black, reflecting the dancing fire on the incense. you feel naked and bare as he wedges his fingers in and tear open the windows to your soul. “don’t you have someone you want to marry, miss___? someone you love?”

taehyung’s silly grin flashes at the back of your mind like a solar flare you can’t erase - all you can do is wait until dies out on its own. you don’t realize your unfocused gaze is directed to seokjin in the split second you wait for your thoughts to gather itself. redirecting your gaze to the wayward reflection in your own glass, you let out a breathy chuckle. “yeah, well.”

it’s pathetic and embarrassing but you can’t even conjure up proper words. instead, you bring the wine to your lips, preferring to taste the bittersweetness of the wine than that of your own reality.

x

all you talk about for the rest of the night is matters pertaining the marriage. what he’ll have to endure and what he won’t have to endure. he doesn’t need to attend any of the social functions even if you’re married. doesn’t also need to concern himself with matters about his family - it becomes tricky when his family catches news of their only son’s marriage and want to be there for the ceremonious day.

“i don’t know what’s going on with you and your family but they won’t be invited if you don’t want them to be.” you fix him with one of your smiles. a tilt in the corner of your lips and a languid flutter of your eyelids before meeting his gaze. it always works - takes away the essence of the conversation and makes them focus on you so if he wants to throw your words back at you, there’s a leeway you could escape to.

until you couldn’t.

“it’s fine. i’ve been running away for the last few years - it’s time i face them head on.” he looks up from the steak he’s cutting - you still haven’t recover from the time he’d look at you in the eye and effortlessly tore your defenses like it was paper but there he does it again, splaying out your scheme like a dish best served hot, “besides, they won’t be invited but you can’t- no, you won’t stop them from showing up, right?”

it’s true. his family isn’t just any normal family. his father is a ceo of one of the most prominent cell phone companies in the world after all. you’d be invincible if you’re in good terms with your in-laws. or at least, if they think you’re on their side and want to help them get their son back.

but seeing as nothing gets past seokjin, you’re only left to either evade the question or full out deny it to keep your pride intact. either way, both options will only serve to confirm his suspicion - he may already know what you’re up to but verbalizing it is a different kind of pride-crushing. your lips curl into a smile - an irony of having been cornered in every direction from the man you thought you could wrap around your fingers.

but because your pride wouldn’t allow you to look like a fool and your ethics wouldn’t allow you to tell a flat out lie (half truths are alright), you decide the first option is much better. “there’s one more thing - i want to get pregnant within the first year of our marriage.”

or else, you’re going to end up like your parents - their bones weren’t as strong as they used to be by the time they got you and their souls were withered from the works they’d put on in their better years of their lives. your mother’s life was risked by the late pregnancy. still, they tried to love you better but there were things you couldn’t do with parents who were hitting 50 before you even reached high school. you couldn’t go camping or bike riding or fishing like your grandfather brought your father to.

it seems to have caught seokjin off guard when he stares at you with wide eyes a tad longer before dropping his head and chuckling to himself, “my, i don’t know if i still have it in me.”

and that’s how you know he’s messing with you - perhaps it’s his own way of reminding you that he’s too old for you and if he’s lucky, it’ll scare you away from the idea of marriage altogether. but the fact that he’s trying to make you give up means that he’s agreeing to the marriage. you let your lips curve into a smile, adrenaline rushing through your veins and into your very core.

you absolutely can’t wait to get married.

x

the marriage will be held within five months - it’s the earliest you can get. it’d be suspicious if you just suddenly got married without any scandal or news of dating the estranged only child of the kim family. you’ve already hired a reporter to follow you during your first three ‘dates’ - they may very well be the only dates you go on together judging from your packed schedule. it’s been almost a week since that dinner and you’ve made plans to appear in public together - your first date.

rapping your knuckles on the door, you wait for the light on the handle to turn from red to green - a signal that the owner’s allowed you access. “hey, you ready?” is the first thing you say, even though you know he’s not.

“miss ___, i’m sorry i was working and didn’t realize the time.” he seems to be genuinely apologetic - and there’s an x-ray film and some papers strewn over his desk to verify his claim. “i’ll freshen up and -”

his brows lift in surprise when you lower yourself on his lap just as he pushes the chair backwards to stand up. the usually gelled light brown hair falls over his face in a messy middle part and his button down is less crisped than when you saw him the first time. granted your first meeting with him was at noon - it’s not enough time for the demands of his career to dishevel him. it’s evening now.

his jaw slacks just the slightest bit, resulting for his lips to part - you’ve noticed their plump fullness and it’d be a lie if you said you didn’t wonder about how they’d feel on yours. the taupe acrylic on your thumb digs into the soft pink flesh of his lips before it travels to his chin.

“may i?” two words. and that’s all it takes for something lustrous to take over his eyes. you find yourself smirking when he stares quizzically as your hand leaves his face and brings his own between your lips. his fingerpads are callous from years of surgical training but they don’t tremble under the touch of your tongue. his digits are lengthier than you expect them to be. his middle finger hit the back of your throat easily before you can get them all in but he’s not the only one that’s received training.

you switch to his ring finger, tongue gently curling around it before you drag your teeth over the ridges of its joint. as a finishing touch, you make sure to lick the bottom of your lips all the while holding his gaze. then, you allow the smile to grace your lips as though nothing happened but the way you pretend to struggle to get up, causing your ass to rub against his arousal - defeats that false sense of innocence.

either way, his surprised expression turns to an amused one as he chuckles a low chuckle - an admittance of your victory, “my, i just lost, didn’t it?”

“whatever do you mean?” you blink, lashes fluttering with feigned innocence.

x

articles are starting to pop up after your personal reporter uploaded hers. it’s not enough to shake the world but it’s enough to catch the eyes of secretaries which in turn tell their bosses and as a result, your phone’s been blowing up and your own secretary has been taking calls since this morning.

“___, you’re leaving already?” taeyeon cups the mouthpiece of the phone she’s been on for the last five minutes, alarms going off in her eyes at the thought of your absence. you don’t blame her - from the way the conversation seems to be going, she might just drag the whole telephone all the way to your desk and make you answer them.

business proposals must be pouring in. you feel bad for your secretary but to be frank, the instant ringing as soon as she held up the last call - has been bothering you to no end as well.

you grin sheepishly, “i got a meeting with dad.” it’s just a coincidence that your dad called you to his office today - he usually does every once in a while just to ask how you’re doing and lament about having to handle your mother’s random burst of hobbies she’s getting into ever since you moved out.

looks like nobody’s noticed the ‘rumor’ yet from the way the workers in the administration department bows and greets you on your way to the office. granted, these people are too devoted to their work to pay attention to the latest business scandals but you expected at least one person to be blowing up the group chat with pictures of you and seokjin’s first date.

there’s a familiar figure leaning against your dad’s desk but no trace of the elder man - he must have went to the washroom or something. you thought it odd when taehyung’s eyes fall on you without the usual grin he would usually offer whenever he sees you - like reflex. at first, you assume his own date with yuju probably didn’t go very well.

“hey, loser. this is the first time you’re here earlier than me.” you fix the man your own grin, happy to be able to see not one but two of your favorite persons. taehyung’s been coming over to play at your house since forever. it was normal for your dad to invite him to his office and take you two to lunch now that you two have grown up.

...until you notice your dad on the couch and another person sitting adjacent to him. it’s easy to miss people when they’re sitting down and easier to have your eyes focus on taehyung’s tall frame.

the tension almost crushes your lungs as soon as you walk through the door. it becomes apparent all too soon that taehyung tried to warn you with his eyes to not be your usual idiot self. now, you’re paying the price for it as all eyes fall on you.

the third person in the room turns his cheek towards you - seokjin. he offers a too polite smile as you come to a stop next to the couch he’s one.

“daddy?” all of a sudden, you’re a child in a room full of adults and calling your out to your dad, as if it would somehow make him explain this situation you just walked in.

the elder man releases a long drawn sigh before speaking, “i’d like a word with my daughter and doctor kim, if you don’t mind, taehyung.”

“sure, uncle.” the aforementioned man offers one of his gallant smiles, pushing himself off the desk without taking out his hands from his pockets.

you grab onto taehyung’s arm as he’s about to pass you - pleading with your eyes for him not to leave you, a mere ant, with the elephants in the room. that’s when his serious facade falls through and he’s grinning at you like a brother would to his sister when he knows she’s going to get in trouble with their parents. your temple throbs with a burst of rage but before you can say anything, he’s already out of the door.

the sweetness of the tea mrs. nam served is tasteless compared to the tangible tension in the air. it’s become apparent that while the more tech savvy staff remain clueless of your updated dating status, your father, is not.

be it as it may, guess you should give credit where it’s due - seokjin’s expression is free of any tautness. it’s perfectly neutral - it’s frightening. you know for a fact you’re not saved from a hard line on your glossed lips and a crease between your brows.

“i heard from my wife that you two are dating.” the elderly man finally breaks the silence.

he’s addressing your mom like that so to make it known that he’s talking to seokjin too - and you’re not the only one in hot water. but seeing as it’s your idea and your proposal, it’s also your responsibility to respond-

“that’s correct, sir.”

-but seokjin beats you to it. it’s not just his expression but his tone is completely at ease. almost as though he’s faced tense situations like this one too many times.

you breathe out before speaking, “i was going to introduce doctor kim to you and mom once we bought our engagement rings.”

your dad finally looks up, eyes wide and mouth slacked for the briefest second before his eyes flutter close. now’s about time for him to be rubbing his temples from the headache but instead, he lets out a sigh. for a split second, you see your dad for the age he is - not the age you remember him as in your earliest memories. wrinkles and smile lines and graying hair.

the seconds stretch on as do the silence. you can hear the distant ringing of the telephone all the way from mrs. nam’s desk from outside, almost clearly.

once your word settles in, then comes the million dollar question, “do you two love each other?”

it’s a no brainer. anyone with eyes can see and answer that for you - or perhaps taehyung already told your dad since he must have gone through a similar interrogation session. and yet, it’s only natural to want confirmation from your own daughter instead of her best friend even though he knows everything about her.

this can only go two ways: yes or no.

but you’ve never been fond of flat out lying, especially to the man who taught you such principles and you’ve talked about marrying for convenience with them ever since you realized that ambitions tend to reward but cheap sentiments like love does not.

yet your chest feels heavy having to go against your parents’ wishes and hopes for you - they want what any parent want for their child. happiness. “no, we don’t.”

“but no one enters into a marriage with divorce in mind. i don’t plan on just being a husband to your daughter just on paper. i’ll care for miss ___ and treat her the way like a queen. that much, i promise, sir.” seokjin holds your dad’s gaze - it’s haunting and charming, you would know. you’d been on the receiving end once too many times already. and you know that’s how he gets your dad.

the older man nods, shoulder line relaxing almost as though he’s been lifted off a dead weight. he’s not the only one - you don’t realize you’ve been holding your breath until you feel your own muscles loosening and you’re breathing out in relief.

until his head snaps up to point out one thing, “you’re getting married yet you’re not on first name basis?”

x

“sorry to rope you into family drama, i’ll be more prepared next time so you won’t have to leave your work.” is the first thing you say once you’re in the elevator. your dad has made sure to grill you to half-death with his questions. he’s gonna give the immigration a run for their money. the first name basis matter is just the beginning of a series of dread -

‘what’s my daughter’s favorite color?’

‘dad, do you even know my-”

‘shh. do you know my daughter still wets the bed at the age ten?’

‘dad!’

seokjin had taken your dad on in stride. he chuckled when your dad said something ridiculous, borderline false and he listened on when your dad went on about the sob story of a ‘poor father with an undefeatable daughter’. but the way he did it was so effortless - almost as if he was a boyfriend visiting your parents and getting told all the embarrassing stories of your childhood and would tease you about it but at the end of the day, tells you he thinks the kid-you was cute - bed wetter or not.

there’s something that restricts your airway at the thought of sharing a feeling so strong with someone. in no time, you push the intimate image away. you and seokjin aren’t like that - this is marriage is strictly convenience-based.

“i asked a friend of mine to cover for me.” so he knew it’d be long but he didn’t actually said it was okay either. marriage is a tricky subject especially for someone as work-crazed as seokjin. you’re surprised he hasn’t cursed you out for making him miss work. “is it red?”

“what?” you blink, steps halting as you stare up at him with what starts to be mindless curiosity but ends up with a stretched on pause as you study the man’s visage. the plumpness of his lips is a given- it’s the first thing you noticed about him.

“your favorite color.” the corners of his lips lifts upwards before he includes his assertion, “you’re always wearing something red - your lipstick was red when we went for dinner. you have a red blouse on now.”

 even you didn’t know you have so much red. but it’s true - your functions and meetings wardrobe consists of red and black predominantly besides the more neutral pastel colors. you have a higher success rate of getting sponsors when you wear the tight fitted red dress.

but it’s not a preferred shade per se.

“no,” you chuckle, “my favorite color is yellow, like the banana.”

seokjin’s brows rises at that. he probably didn’t expect that - nobody expects the fierce and confident woman to like such a bright, clarifying color. “though i understand why you think it’s red.”

his lips curl into a smile - the kind of smile that mimics your own, not the one that he wears to charm your father. though that one was also genuine, this one makes him feel younger. like someone you can crack silly jokes with instead of the ever uptight working man.

before he manages to say anything, your name reverberates across the lobby. taehyung’s shrugged off that ugly grey checkered blazer of his and left it at the sofa as he mini run towards you. the grin on his face gradually falls off when he notices the lack of smile on your face.

“you left me for dead!”

he blocks your fist with a hand around your wrist before sighing as if you’re not just directing every ounce of energy in that punch of yours - but then again, none of your smacks really get to him.

“i didn’t know uncle was gonna ask me about that - i thought it was gonna be the usual lunch. i mean, come on, i waited for you down here even though i have work to do so i can make sure all your limbs are intact!” he looks like he almost meant it. almost.

it’s in that moment that seokjin’s remark reminds you that he’s still there, “you two must be close.”

“huh?” taehyung narrows his eye at you as though you’re no more than gum under his shoes while you whip your hand out of his grasp and scoff.

“nah, i’m her only friend.”

“it’s because he doesn’t have any other friend.”

you both say at the same time.

at least seokjin’s still able to laugh with all the intention-to-kill in the air. before you can elaborate on how taehyung kept following you around like a lost puppy when you were younger, seokjin’s hand finds its way around your shoulder, you thought it odd that he needs to pat on the shoulder farthest from him but it turns out he’s pulling you towards him but by the time you realize it, you’re already craning your neck to look at him. but you barely notice the awkward position of his lips on the spot just above your left eyebrow - his lips really are soft. and warm.

and gone.

before you know it, he’s pulling away, saying something about seeing you later - you couldn’t hear it from the blood rushing in your ears and the heat rising on your face. it’s only after you see his white coat disappear around the corner do you finally take notice of the slyly grinning fox in front of you.

“what did i tell you? simple-minded beings.”

x

you still don’t know why seokjin kissed you on the forehead.

sure, he told your dad he’s not planning to just be a husband on paper - okay. but he’s nowhere near a husband to you yet and you haven’t even given him an engagement ring. it doesn’t help that your heart keeps racing every time time the image of his sharp jaw and pursed lips before he kissed you, plays at the back of your mind.

he smelled good too - like aftershave and lemon and a hint of disinfectants.

before you know it, you find yourself rapping on his door eight minutes past 7 in the evening. after a whole solid minute of the red light on the door handle remaining the same color, you finally let out the breath you’ve been holding. it’s supposed to be past his shift but judging from the lack of response from the other side of the room, you know straight away that he’s still at the wards. it may have been an impromptus decision but now that you’ve walked the distance from your office to the other end of the building, you might as well go the extra mile and actually look for him. 

most of the nurses and doctors that pass you recognize you, bowing briefly before hurrying to where they were heading before they saw you. you rarely visit the cardiology department - or any other department for that matter because it’s always a hassle for the staff to prepare to greet you. in that aspect, you agree with seokjin - that they could be doing something better than pushing their schedules on their colleague to accompany a sightseeing vip.

“miss ___?” a young man around your age calls, his brows furrow at the idea that his eyes could be fooling him but when you turn to him, his eyes light up in pleasant surprise, “it really is you. why - i didn’t know you were visiting today.” 

“doctor kim,” you don’t forget a face easily - right before you is kim suho. the smile that stretches when you recognize him is telling enough. his past achievements are definitely to brag about and he must have attended the annual dinner if he recognizes you, “good evening. this isn’t an official visit - actually, i’m looking for someone. do you happen to know where doctor kim seokjin is?”

“seokjin?” he repeats the name with a sort of familiarity, coupled with confusion. of course, he’s probably wondering what the work-crazed doctor did to have the ceo come all the way to the wards.

“miss ___?” it’s feels almost deja vu - having your names called out by two different people within the span of five minutes. both sounding equally confused but for different reasons.

“good evening,” you fix seokjin one of your alluring smiles, heart skipping a beat - it’s probably the stethoscope hanging over his shoulder. it compliments the collared button down and white coat, look you usually see him in, “i went to you office but you weren’t there so i came here.”

“let’s talk in my office.” he clears his throat, eyes drifting to look to somewhere on his left before he stops himself. if it’s the whispering nurses at the counter he’s worried about - he shouldn’t be. because you’re about to put a ring on it.

x

“sorry, i was doing my last rounds but the patient was a chatty one - i lost track of time.” he says, walking into the office and setting the stethoscope down on his desk before he takes a seat behind it.

you notice the way his eyes travel from your perfectly pinned up hair down to your diamonds adorned neck down to the halter strap of your elegant maroon dress that wraps around your body flawlessly. but he doesn’t say a word - and you’re forced to school your expression to not show your surprise and hurt when he doesn’t even let his gaze linger for any longer than necessary as he meets your eyes again.

you take out the suede velvet box from your purse and place it right in front of him. “it just came in, why don’t you try putting it on?”

his eyes twinkle with a surprise not because of the foretelling shape and characteristics of the box, nor the affirmation of the silver band inside it but because it sits snugly around his ring finger when he slips it on.

“how did you get my size right?” the impressed tone laced in his voice makes your chest swell with pride and lips curl into a smirk.

it only takes him a few seconds to interpret your smirk - that time in his office. the ghost of his digit on your tongue still lingers. it wasn’t just for show and you weren’t cruel enough to put a man through that misery if you didn’t have your own reasons.

he shakes his head, ring bluntly glinting as suppresses his chuckle with his hand.

your heart is beating too loudly in your chest - there’s something in the way he’s bearing your claim but you still manage to sound leveled and collected. “since we’re officially engaged, do you mind if i call you seokjin?”

“i’d like that very much, ___.” he’s finally dropped the suffix. ms. this, ms. that. you’ve gotten used to it but it serves to enforce the invisible line between you and him when he addresses you so formally.

your phone buzzes in your purse - it must be taehyung. you didn’t expect to spend longer than ten minutes but he must be waiting at the lobby if he’s texting you now. standing up, you bid him a parting “have a nice evening, seokjin.”

he doesn’t seem like he has anything on his mind but just as your hand covers the handle of the door, he speaks up, “once we’re married, could you refrain from going to these functions?”

it takes you off guard. like a spear that pierces you just as you lay down your armor but you’re not one to let something like this get to you, “i’m afraid that’s not possible.” and that’s it. it’s final.

but you should have known when you decide to use that practiced icy tone, that seokjin wouldn’t just back off the way almost everyone would. the only people who would still have the gal to say something or dismiss it are your parents and taehyung.

“i know you expect me to be an obedient husband and become chairman and do my job. it shouldn’t matter if you attend these functions since you’re not forcing me to go with you.” and there’s those eyes again. tearing into the soul of your window and stripping you bare the way only kim seokjin could. “but marriage is about compromise - giving up one thing for the other. i’m gonna inherit my dad’s fortunes and you’re gonna get that 10 million my mom promised. shouldn’t that be enough to get the projects for the hospital rolling?"

when he says it like that, it seems so easy and simple. “no wonder you’re a doctor. you don’t know a thing about maintaining a sustainable business.” you let your lips curl briefly, “but i’ll think about what you said.”

then, you’re out of his office. heels clicking against the floor as you make your way to the lobby and into taehyung’s familiar sleek black burgatti.

x

“so he asked you to stop coming to these functions.” the car rolls to a stop right in front of the hall where the birthday party of seollyu’s president is held.

“in essence, yeah.” you say after he comes around the car and your hand automatically tucks itself in the crook of his arm.

“then why are you mad?” the car purrs behind you before the valet takes it somewhere to park it.

some of the reporters at the entrance calls your and taehyung’s names in an attempt to make you look at the camera. there’s too many and the lights are blinding - you just want to get into the hall quickly. at least they won’t be able to follow you past the doors.

“i just - i don’t like that he’s asking me to change, you know? just because i’m married, i won’t get to do the things i usually do before? that’s just bullshit.” you huff in frustration - not bothering to hide your stiff eyebrows and slightly pursed lips all the while you have your pictures taken. at best, they’re going to slander you with jealousy over taehyung’s new budding romance.

“i mean, he did cut his family off and stopped going to these things.” the man shrugs, “maybe he has a good reason - did you even ask him why?”

and that’s how you know you’ve lost the fight. taehyung’s too sensible - naturally, he wouldn’t have his own startup at such a young age, if he isn’t the way he is now. but you don’t want an analyst - you want a friend who would listen to you and let you vent your frustrations before finding the root of the problem and suggesting the solution.

taehyung knows this and he knows plenty of many things, having been your childhood and best friend all in one package. but because he knows you too well, he also knows you’ll end up doing something you would regret if he were too late to point out your mistake. sometimes you want to prove him wrong - that you can call the right shots when it comes to people without having him paint a picture for you to foresee the outcome but so far, there’s limited exhibits of your success. your failed past relationships being the prime examples.

“i hate it when you’re right.” you grumble, letting your hand fall to your side - usually you wouldn’t mind having to cling onto taehyung like a child. you’re all the other has in these functions - everyone has their own reason for attending and just like absolutely everyone, you approach people because of what they can give you. that’s why you see groups of people your age flocking together - they grew up trained to sniff those with ill intentions and those with a mutual interest.

and usually, they’ve known each other at a very young age - the way you knew taehyung for as long as you can remember.

you have other friends too - or rather, they’re people you single out to be of no threat to your business and could even become partners someday. like sowon - her bright amber dress making it seem as though a ball of fire is flitting across the hall. you’re about to wave at her before you notice a more furious fire burns in her eyes.

“you bitch!”

all of a sudden, your neck is craned in an awkward angle. the blaze on your cheek settles a little later than the realization that sowon just smacked you right across the face yet when you turn back to her, hands clenching and unclenching in suppression of rising anger - she’s the one with tears in her eyes. “i trusted you.”

oh boy.

the host hasn’t even made his speech and the crowd’s already excited. the widespread whispers don’t go past you - some of the people in your periphery doesn’t even bother hiding leaning into the person next to them while stealing glances your way. but you doubt the woman in front of you would notice anyone here but you.

“ladies, there’s plenty of me to go around.” taehyung speaks from next to you, his smooth baritone echoing off and reaching anyone within five feet. you know he’s doing this to cover for any other possible misunderstanding - after all, this isn’t the first time you’re trapped in a scandal between taehyung and one of his girlfriends.

sowon loathes taehyung though.

but it doesn’t matter as long as everyone thinks it’s just another day of you getting in between the budding romance of taehyung and his female acquaintance. you can already see the expressions of the guests falling - probably disappointed at the not-so-news news. but there are also those who snicker underneath their breath - probably one of taehyung’s past acquaintances. it’s no secret taehyung would choose you over them in a heartbeat - and it’s been established when taehyung appears at a function with another woman once and appear to the next five with you until a new poor soul takes that woman’s place.

what can you say? your best friend’s a charmer. but the downside is, you don’t have that many female friends at functions. and one of the few you do have, you’ve managed to piss off.

sowon’s sniffle tears your attention away from the crowd. flushed cheeks and puffed eyes. you’re not close but you’re acquainted enough to know she’s a woman of pride and confidence. she wouldn’t lose her cool over a man - well, at least not a licentious man like taehyung. and that’s the only reason keeping you from bitch slapping the pride off her. the sting on your cheek is nothing compared to the injury your pride sustains - all because what’s left of your conscience wouldn’t allow you to return the slap.

deep down, you know you deserved it and more. your insides churn painfully. all of a sudden the dress around your body is two sizes too small. it’s suffocating - the whole room is suffocating.

“after everything i told you - you had to go for him?!” her scream could almost burst your eardrums if it isn’t for the blood rushing in your ears.

it’s easy to think she’s referring to taehyung. somewhere from across the room, the crowd starts clearing out a path - looks like the host has caught wind of the commotion sowon has caused.

you want to curse her too. hurt her with words as much as she hurt you with her physical assault. but instead you find yourself dropping your gaze.

“i’m sorry, sowon.” is all you say before mr. jung and his army of secretaries approach you and bring you two to different rooms. by the time dinner starts, sowon isn’t around - it’s understandable, her pride wouldn’t allow her to let these people poke fun at her.

but you don’t survive this world you’re born in by running away - you survive it by developing skin as untouchable as scales. so you stay until desert, smiling with a sore cheek and conversing with those who you know would be neutral about the incident, like nothing happened.

taehyung sticks closer to you. he doesn’t ask if you’re okay - you’re not. but when you tug on his sleeve and timidly murmur you wish to go home, he does so without hesitation. it’s times like these you’d choose him over the world.

x

the tabloids love gossip. a sensational, popcorn-worthy scoop. there are two divided groups thanks to that. the first one is devoted to the belief that it’s a love triangle between you, taehyung and sowon. the other one, choosing to dig deeper than what’s on the surface, believes it goes way back. ten years back.

“sorry, i should have told you sowon was my ex-fiance - it didn’t occur to me until i saw the articles that you two might meet at a function.” seokjin finally says, the strawberry ice cream beginning to melt in its paper bowl when he asked you to ‘at least, let me cure your injury,’ - you didn’t, in a - make that ten - million years picture it to be in a form of an ice cream bowl he bought from the mini convenience store next to the cafeteria. it was to hold it on your cheek but you couldn’t just let good food go to waste.

it hurts to even smile but you can’t help it at the thought of the rumored half-mad doctor using his break for something besides working some more. coupled with a shake of your head and the plastic spoon trapped in between your lips, you look just as insane. 

your heart still clenches at the recollection of the other night, “i knew you two were engaged.”

his shoulder line straightens just the slightest bit as he lifts one eyebrow, not completely surprised but neither is he unfazed. so you continue, “it was by pure dumb luck that you turn out to be the best marriage prospect for me but i thought she was over it since it’s been years.”

there it is again, the churning in your stomach. like something’s eating you from the inside. if you focus enough, you can hear the voice inside your head scoffing - even if they’d just broken up yesterday, you still would have proposed to seokjin, maybe even the day after said break up. 

this time, you don’t look away when his eyes meet yours. you let him strip your armor down to your very core. show him just what kind of person you are - the person who wouldn’t let anything get in the way of her ambitions. wouldn’t dwell cheap sentiments like friendship. even if that made you - as sowon would put it - a bitch.

then, he lets out a heavy sigh - the kind of sigh a parent would do when their kid got in trouble and admitted their fault. so now he can’t lecture you on morals and ethics because you have your own principles.

if anything, it reminds you of the glaring difference in your age - the things he’s already experienced that you’re about to someday. the betrayals. the broken friendships. the choices between what you want and what you need. he’s probably seen this all before.

“is an old man like me really worth all that trouble?” the tiniest of smile graces his strong feature. eyebrows wavering with something you can’t pinpoint.

“well, there’s a doctor - kim suho.” this time, you don’t bother pointing out his not-even-that-old age. the way his eye twitches barely noticeably tells you he doesn’t expect your answer. a moment later, it becomes too apparent, from his troubled expression - brows stiffed and jaws tight, that he doesn’t like the idea of you asking for another man’s hand in marriage. you have to tell yourself to refrain from smiling, not because your cheek might hurt again but because it’s probably not a good time to tease him.

deciding to release him from his own misery, you quickly elaborate, “but he has an average background - no matter how much experience he has, you don’t just get on your knees and start slithering with the snakes. you have to be born into the family. so yes,” you place your ice cream on the coffee table, hand pushing back a strand of hair to appear more delicate and win his favor while you let a furtive smile adorn your face - and there’s a smile he’s suppressing too because he knows what you’re trying to do, “this old man is definitely worth it.”

his shoulder line seems to ease up as he tries to hide a relieved sigh by clearing his throat. but it’s short lived when the crease between his brows returns and a newfound tension settles in space on the couch separating the two of you, “yes, but suho was never the one i should be on a look out for, was he?”

you blink but he’s already shaking his head. a smile on his face, “never mind.”

x

things seem to settle down - everyone at the hospital knows about you and seokjin now. and you’ve managed to convince him to finally use his off days to spend it on preparing for the wedding. cake tasting. dress and suit fitting. deciding on what color the napkins should be - a month ago, you approached seokjin with the mindset to make him agree to marry you. after all, prince charming was the one who had it all - it didn’t make sense to have cinderella do all the wedding planning.

he was mad at you for some reason - it lasted for quite awhile until you directly asked why he’d been given you the cold shoulders. “you keep playing a two man game by yourself.” he sighed when he said those words - because he saw in your eyes, that you thought there was nothing wrong to be finishing what you started by yourself, “we’re getting married - we’re gonna become a team yet you keep making decisions by yourself.”

ever since then, you started asking if he wanted to join you to the cake and dessert tasting, napkin color picking. you didn’t realize how nice it was to do things with another person than decide it on your own.

and somewhere along the way, you started teasing him more.

“if the saying ‘men age like fine wine’ is a person,” a grin slips over your face as you shamelessly give seokjin is a once over, “then you’d be the embodiment of that.”

he doesn’t seem to mind - rather, he seems like he’s enjoying the attention as he chuckles and shakes his head. probably thinking there’s no saving you and your compliments now.

“come here.” it’s the way he says it - with a smile on his lips and eyes that says you’re all he sees and hand extended to capture yours, that makes you jump from your seat. the front of the dress bunched up in your hands as to not trip over it and right into his arms. just like moth drawn to flames.

he pulls you up over the platform that he’s been standing on and lets you stand in front of him, hand on your shoulder as you stare in front of the 3 part mirror in the boutique. the dress you have on is a light gold dress with a sweetheart neckline that wraps around your curves flawlessly down to your knees and flow out like a mermaid’s tail. seokjin has on a traditional cobalt blue single breasted suit with three buttons fitting around his waist perfectly. his hair is gelled back the way you specifically requested.

he gave you a quizzical look as though wanting you to elaborate on your reason for that request but you’d only left him with a kiss on the cheek and a ‘see you on monday.’

if there’s one thing you learned about seokjin, it’s that he’s devastatingly unaware of his strong features that makes every woman’s legs turn to jelly and every man’s heart skip a beat. and he chooses to hide it under that usual middle parted style.

seokjin’s reflection bends down but his eyes remains on you as he whispers against the shell of your ears, “you look exquisite.”

you have half the mind to push him off and run away in case he’d ear the erratic beating in your chest but he probably already knows from the way you shyly look away. the you from a year ago would laugh at what you’ve become - the kind of girl that gets flustered and can’t form a proper sentence in the presence of a male. but before you can respond, a boisterous voice from the sofa you were sitting at, announces, “alright, next!”

your teeth clench together as you whirl around to face taehyung’s silly grin. that cockblocker - he knew you were having a moment and went out of his way to ruin it. “what are you even here for? don’t you have something better to do?”

for once, taehyung isn’t on his phone. you wouldn’t mind it so much if he’d just ignore you half of the time whenever you hang out. “your mom tasked me to find you a perfect dress since she can’t be here.” there’s a glint in his eyes - something ratchet and devious but his lips curve like that of an angel.

you don’t miss seokjin’s tightened jaw and stiff shoulder line as he helps you down the platform. ever since taehyung showed up ten minutes into fitting, seokjin’s expression has been switching from that suave smile to looking like he has a splinter stuck in his thumb - a human sized splinter that goes by the name of kim taehyung.

you never thought you’d live to see the day when kim seokjin would harbor any sort of animosity towards someone - he’s probably a strict supervisor, but resentful? can’t be.

you chalk it up with the plain fact that anyone who’s not head over heels for taehyung would want to skin him alive on the early stages of getting to know him.

“hm? seokjin’s not here yet?” you ask once you’re back from the fitting room, having slipped into an ivory trumpet shaped dress. it’s a much simpler design compared to the one you had on which makes it a perfect counter part for the after party. “that’s a first, the lady finishing first than the guy.”

“oh, it’s not that unusual.” taehyung snickers. guess that just shows how confident he is with his skills.

“i’ve never been this tired and i’ve only tried on three dresses.” instead of entertaining his remark, you choose plop down next to him.

“sparky, does he love you?” it’s that nickname that gets you.

there are only two circumstances where he would call you that: one, when he wants to annoy you and two, when he’s feeling nostalgic. guess it’s finally hitting him that you’re no longer kids chasing each other around in one of his mansions. you’re both grown up and one is trying out wedding gowns.

“uh, me and seokjin are about to get married, taetae.” you throw in a nickname of your own just to lighten up the mood.

but all it does is lift the corners of his lips into a wistful smile. and that’s how you know you can’t be telling your half-truths. and evading his question isn’t working all that well either. “it feels like we can talk about things more openly now - but no, i don’t think he does. he’s marrying me to become the next chairman and i’m after his money and maybe get a kid out of him too.” a knot forms in your stomach - something about what you said doesn’t sit well with you but this is what you wanted. this is what you prepared for the moment you decided to ask seokjin for his hand in marriage. you shouldn’t hope for more.

the laugh taehyung lets out is reactionary. humorless. “can’t you wait for me? i know i’m in no position to ask - but can’t you?”

two years and three months ago, when you were a little youthful, had a little more stars in your eyes - maybe you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat. with every birthday you celebrate, fear rears its ugly head and reminds you that time isn’t an illusion and you know better than to bet on something - someone you're not sure you can win.

your heart aches a similar way it did two years ago - but you know now it’s not because it’s breaking to pieces. instead it’s hurting for the pieces of that young boy you could never hope to complete using yours. it took awhile but you know how to get back on your feet - but it’s not all that simple for taehyung. only he can fix his broken pieces.

“i stopped, taehyung,” you finally say, gaze burning holes inside the lace material of the dress, “the moment you told me you can’t - i stopped loving you. i’m glad i did because it wasn’t love. i was just scared to lose you like you’re afraid to lose me now,” you tug on his hand to get him to look at you and he does - all of a sudden, you’re both eight, inside your own bedroom with your dolls and his remote control cars strewn across the floor, “but you’ll always be my taetae and i’ll always be your sparky - i’m always gonna be here for you.”

you thought he’d changed. it’s nice to know he still uses a fruit scented shower gel when he brings you into a hug. the piercing sweet scent isn’t as strong as you remember it. the hug lasts a bit longer and his body is trembling slightly but you know it’s going to be okay - even if he packs up and leave for a foreign city like two years ago when you told him you loved him and you had to hunt him down through your wits and will (that damned private investigator accumulated a fortune to last him for probably ten years). at the end of the day, you’ll come back to each other. because the bond you’ve formed is thicker than the blood coursing through your veins.

“if he makes you cry, you come to me, okay?” you can’t even be mad when he ruffles your hair before picking up his blazer and shrugging it on. by the end of it, you’re both smiling - though his remains wistful, yours is sanguine.

it’s only after taehyung’s figure disappears through the door, do you notice the feeling of a pair of eyes burning holes inside your head.

“seokjin.”

the man is leaning against the door where his changing room is. you don’t need to ask why his brows are strained and the lips that would usually grace you with a smile, is pressed into a tight line.

x

“i never knew-” seokjin stops himself, lips pressed together as though he doesn’t want to say it, but he does with a shake of his head, “-no, i did know there was something between you and taehyung.”

you end up in seokjin’s apartment. the whole ride has been stiff silent. it’s the first you’ve seen him so disheveled. his tie hangs loose on his neck as though he’d yanked it without a care in the world and forgot about it. the first two buttons of his button down are undone. what once was his perfectly sleeked back hair disheveled from having been mussed up.

the hot chocolate seokjin made you is losing heat the longer you hold onto to it for the sake of having something to do with your hands. “i proposed to him two years ago and stopped loving him as soon as he turned me down - taehyung, he... he’s got a lot going on. that’s all i can say. i hope you don’t misunderstand what you saw.”

his eyes turn as round as saucers for the briefest moment before they flutter to their original almond shapes. shoulder line shaking from chuckling - but there’s nothing funny about any of this so you keep your eyes on him. if he needed confirmation of the truth you’re speaking, he need only search it in the windows of your soul.

“that’s very like you, ___.” he finally says.

you’re not sure what he meant but you’re not about to ponder on it either, “is there anything else you’d like to know about me, seokjin? there’s no reason for me to lie to you - we’re about to get stuck with each other for the rest of our lives. we should at least be able to talk about our past openly.”

when he doesn’t seem to have any other inquiry, you decide to let go of your pride - the reason you never asked was because you were too proud to be wrong. growing up, there were only a few people that you let poke fun at you and fewer you’d let prove you wrong. it dawned on you some time after you’re all showered and ready to go to bed one night - that you’re about to let seokjin waltz into your life and he’ll bear witness to your most intimate side. he’s about to be said one of the fewer people.

“then, my turn - why did you want me to stop attending social functions? i’ve been doing it my whole life - i’m good at it. and i’m not planning to stop just because i got married unless you have a proper reason for asking me to.”

the way his gaze drops tells you it wasn’t just a baseless request. you reach out across the counter, slipping your hands into his. that seems to have brought him back.

“my parents chose to attend a function instead of staying by my grandfather’s side even when the doctor told them he wouldn’t make it til morning - they weren’t even sorry. couldn’t even stay throughout the whole funeral.” he shakes his head almost as though being hung up over it was ridiculous yet couldn’t move past it either, “it’s ugly what too much wealth does - i just- i’m sorry i asked such a thing from you. it’s my own problem that i have to deal with, you don’t have to stop.”

it’s not hard to put yourself in his shoes. you understand where he’s coming from - you want to tell him that but somehow words are cheap. especially right in this moment.

so without thinking, you slip off the stool and walk around the counter until you reach him. the last thing you see before you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to your level, is his wondrous gaze.

the man doesn’t flinch away from your touch nor does he welcome it in any way. but the longer the seconds stretch on, the more you realize how idiotic and awkward it is to hug someone you barely know - it worked for taehyung but that’s only because he knew you preferred action rather than words.

“i’m not gonna stop completely but i won’t go as often - it’s getting boring anyway.” you nonchalantly say - or at least try to sound like you’ve lost interest in the function on your own. you haven’t been to any since that incident with sowon, waiting out for the rumors to die down is a better choice.

the body in your arms is unresponsive as ever - you would think you’re hugging a dead body if not for the heat of his breath fanning your delicate skin. maybe he’s just too nice to push a lady away. just as you’re about retract your arms, a warm hand rests on your hip. his touch is soft and gentle - as if he’s handling a porcelain doll while you’d just dragged him down to you without even considering how uncomfortable the angle would be given his tall broad frame. 

his body vibrates when he lets out a short breath like a brief chuckle, “you’re very generous with your hugs.”

your brain short circuits when the man raises his head from your shoulder and rests his forehead on yours - it reminds you of how woman you are. even when he’s sitting he still hovers over you. his free hand cups your jaw, thumb lightly pressing on your lower lip. so this is what it felt like when your roles were switched - is he going to give you a false sense that he’ll kiss you the way you would him?

���may i?” he’s smiling when he repeats your own words - eyes trapping the ray of sunlight that pours over the wall-window like an illuminate waterfall. for the first time since you know him, you’re scared. not of what he will do but of what you want him to - but he won’t do.

your train of thoughts dissipates along with your worry the moment his lips touch yours. gentle. yet the hand pulling you into him is possessive. something in your stomach churns with butterflies.

you want to say you don’t know how you end up with your stomach pressed against his crotch or how his semi-hard arousal started rubbing into your abdomen. it’s supposed to be awkward but it isn’t and you know he’s refraining from addressing his aroused state to avoid making it uncomfortable for you - even though every time you shift and lean into him, you see his the gentle bob of his adam’s apple. it makes you want him even more. he leans into your touch as soon as you reach for him like moth drawn to flames.

“right.” he declares as if he’s been reminded of something when he comes in contact with one of the ridge of the rock on your middle finger. it’s your own engagement ring you ordered with seokjin’s. when the man spoke about getting you one, you’d held up your left hand and told him you already had one made. in fact, you never took it off since the day you put it on - which was the same day it came it.

understandably, you’re always wearing more than a ring on your hand - it’s easy to mix up between the ring from your personal collection or a ring of promise. especially when you didn’t tell him you got one made for yourself.

the hand on your cheek is warm as it brushes against your cheekbones, your rolls off his tongue like sweet honey, “what did i ever do to make you think i don’t love you?”

you blink once. you heard his words but your mind isn’t registering anything. but it seems your heart has seem to figure it out from the way it’s accelerating, you’re afraid seokjin might hear it. “wh-what?”

all of a sudden, you have this urge to pull the invisible blinds of his wall-window and hide from the peering rays of the sun. seokjin’s airy gaze. your fallen dress strap. the gentle protrusion in his pants. your own mussed up hair - you want to keep this moment all to yourself.

he pecks your forehead one last time. this lips curling into a smile - he knows you heard him. loud and clear and you have a feeling you’ll be hearing it at the most unpredictable moment from now on. so there’s no rush.

“where should we go for dinner?” 

x

seokjin knows they call him the doctor version of a mad scientist. he knows a plenty of many things. like how he’s more strict with the junior physicians under his care. but that’s only because if he treats them below their potential, they’ll end up being that.

but the part where suho jokingly told him that he was crazy for working on holidays - maybe he was.

he’d moved out as soon as he turned 18 and eventually cut off his parents. before, even if it was just for show, he still got to see them during those functions they held.

but by the time he graduated college and started interning as a doctor - he was already erasing part of his existence. and his parents didn’t seem to notice. it made it cutting them off effortless.

but then, loneliness - pure, unadulterated loneliness started to sink its claws into him. so he turned to work even more. built his life around it.

by the time he became a fellow, he had absolutely zero social life. the only human interaction he had was with his patients - but they come and go. sure they’re grateful for him - and since the private hospital he’s working at is frequented mostly by the richest, he’d received gifts like cars or gold bars from one of his elderly patients who were convinced they were going to die - until they woke up from a successful surgery done by seokjin himself. but they eventually forget him.

and of course, he returned those gifts. he’d be no different than his parents - than the people he wished not to see anymore after he left that world. but the one thing he thought he wanted - the one thing he thought would make him happy, started to burn him out. every birthday was just a reminder that he’s half the age his soul is. 

he’s worn and tired and losing sight of that man he told himself to be by a certain age.

that is, until you came along. at first, it was just courtesy that he listened to what you had to say - apparently you were the ceo. and quite literally, his boss. at first, he thought you were messing with him when you asked for his hand in marriage - no one just waltzes in and propose to someone they don’t know.

even those convenient marriages don’t go this way. but he’d accepted it anyway.

it has more to do with those eyes of yours than the chairman position. those eyes - they remind him so much of himself. the current him. except where his soul wanes, yours thirsts to thrive. like a dying cactus refusing to dry out.

you had thorns but picking them out wasn’t a problem - you’d been disconcerted at first but you’d quickly learn to use it to your advantage. telling him only the truth or nothing. since evasion and half-truths don’t work on him the way they would work on the people you probably surrounded yourself with. and he knew exactly what type of people they were.

eventually, you started telling him the blunt, honest truth. it threw him off a few times - like when you’d straight out told him that you knew who sowon was and still went for him.  and that time when you admitted that he was the second man to receive your proposal - the first being that brat, taehyung. and then, you’d straight out asked him about why he didn’t want you attending functions anymore instead of ignoring his request like his parents would. or flip out of shame for having your lie found out. you were forbearing but firm. sometimes, it felt like you were much older than him. 

but then you had a childish side to you too - it was food for his soul. every time he was with you, he felt like himself again. like that boy who applied for a job at the hospital with only his wits and his will backing him up. at first, he’d only saw that side of you in front of your most treasured people. your father. your mother. taehyung.

what you and taehyung have - seokjin will never come close to comprehend. a bond so strong, not even death could tear you apart. it became apparent too soon to seokjin that taehyung dominated parts of your life and he’ll only have a but a crevice of his presence in yours. your smile would always be a little brighter when you’re with the younger man. eyes always drifting away from him to taehyung.

and he was content with that but he thinks you’ve changed. or maybe it’s him that did. because you’re grinning at him now - like there’s something up your sleeves. and there is - his eyes widen at your brazenness. one minute he was admiring the way you lasted for hours in those heels that you just kicked off - you’d been wearing them starting from the ceremony to the reception and finally the after party but the next minute, you were grinning and pulling him with you down onto the velvet sheets. the your dress has ridden up to just below your knees in the process and seokjin’s caressing your exposed calf - he thinks you’re all the more delicate. your skin, too soft. he’s afraid he might bruise you.

“oh,” you speak into his mouth before pulling away without even a peck on his lips - but there’s a twinkle in your eyes when you pick up a small golden box that sat prettily on the night stand, “almost forgot. for you.”

“i didn’t get you a wedding gift.” he announces, pushing down the suspicion dominating his brain but how can he not pull out the ribbon to find out what you’ve prepared for him, when you’re looking at him like that? all grin and proud and saying something like you didn’t need one.

then his face falls and he’s looking at you deadpanned in the eye after noting the too familiar tablet of blue pills. but the frown doesn’t live long - he finds himself shaking his head. a smile wedging itself on  his own face, “viagra. really?”

“better safe than sorry, right?” it's not right context - usually, a condom would be involved where that sentenced is used. but you know from seokjin’s dazed stare that he doesn’t get it - but he chooses to admire your features instead.

it takes everything in you not to bury your face in his chest just because his stare is making you feel like a high school girl with a crush. his eyes don’t make you want to reel away from him and cover every scar and lies with a thick blanket anymore. perhaps it has something to do with the fact that there isn’t any that he hasn’t seen. both your flaws and your virtue - if he wanted to run away, there were plenty of chances for him to do so but he stayed and now - now, you’ll never let him go. hold him captive in your castle, smooth criminal. you lean and press a kiss on his lips - just to make him close his eyes.

when you pull away, his lips chases yours. just like moth drawn to flames. you can’t help but giggle - it’s cut short when his hand weaves itself into your hair and bring you down to him.

you barely notice the hand that wraps around your wrist before your back hits the soft mattress. his shoulders appear more broad now that he’s hunched over you like a beast who hasn’t had a drop of water since the drought. at times like these you’re reminded of how man he is and how woman you are. a fact you seem to forget because he’s been playing along with your little games like a well-behaved child.

“hey, no fair!” lips pursed, you cross your arms in a show of protest. but he chuckles that soothing chuckle and he’s standing on his knees while the frame of his belt glints in warning.

your heart skips a beat at the sight of his arousal that was begging to be released from the confinements of his cobalt blue pants. the sigh he breathes out when he pulls down the zipper, sends shivers down your spine.but disappointment makes your face fall when he leaves it like that instead of pushing his pants down along with it.

that’s okay. you tell yourself. we’re married now-

you reach out for him only to have a hand wrap around your wrist, your fingers hovering achingly close to the gentle protrusion in his black boxers but not really touching.

you crane your neck to look at him but when your eyes meet, your words die in your throat. the smile is gone and in its place, is a tilted smirk, “are you sure? once we start i might not be able to stop.”

it’s that question that gets your heart writhing and crying to be set free from the confinement of your rib cages.

“seokjin,” the name tastes delectably sinful tonight, “i’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

maybe it’s the vow you’re making on the absolutely zero occasion where you’ve been this rapt by a man. maybe it’s your out of character use of the curse - that’s just how much you want this. or maybe it’s both. either way, seokjin’s gripping handfuls of your dress and you wordlessly raise your hands up for him to pull your dress off you.

it’s the way his eyes travel down your body. hunger. madness. lust. they meld together in those darkened eyes of his yet you’ve never felt so safe. he dives in for a kiss. this time, it’s raw and passionate and has no intention to stop halfway - not after he made it clear that he couldn’t and not after you pleaded for him to take you.

your white cotton bra is first to go - you only wore it because the straps won’t contrast too much with the strap of your dress. initially, you were going to tease him a bit and disappear into the bathroom to change into the lacy black lingerie set you’d specifically ordered to be custom made by victoria’s secret. but with the way he’s kneading your breast in his palm and the way you’re clawing against his clothed chest like a ravenous creature - the lingerie can wait.

“take off your clothes.” in your head, it sounded more demanding - but it comes out breathy and begging. a part of you chide yourself for waving the white flag before the game even began but another part of you is tired of being the only one bare and naked.

there’s a godless gleam in his eyes the moment he heard your request and you should have known seokjin wouldn’t make it that easy for you. this is karma coming back to bite you in your butt naked state after all those times you spent teasing the man and him accepting it without any complaint. you thought he was just mature enough to get over it. it turns out he was just a beast laying in wait to claim what he deserves, “what’s the magic word?”

“please.” you answer in a heartbeat.

that same heart stops beating the second he shakes his head. no. wrong answer. “the other one - do you really think i didn’t notice? the way you tease me - the way you know i won’t do anything about it because i’m older, i have to be a bigger person?”

that’s when your pride comes crashing in like tidal wave. walk away, it says. you take back what you said about having nothing to hide from seokjin - there’s one. and you thought you’d keep it with you. let it be buried in your grave. but he knows - like he knows every layer of your existence. your every desire and compulsion. it’s disgraceful and mortifying, for you. but seokjin holds your gaze and wait, wait, wait - he doesn’t seem to share your thoughts - doesn’t look disgusted either.

“daddy.” the moment the word leaves your mouth, you feel liberated. freed. like a long overdue confession. the pleased look on seokjin’s face is everything and more. “daddy, please.”

“as you wish.” he’s your liberator. your freer. and he’s about to grant your one carnal desire.

his clothes hit the ground within less than a minute. you can’t help but gawk at his perfectly sculpted physique. it’s like gods personally descended the heavens and blessed him in his mother’s womb and stayed by his side up until now - only for him to scorn them right in this moment. your body bounces off the bed lightly when his fingers dig in your thigh, pulling you closer like a ragged doll. a small yelp escapes you.

your panties are the last to go. discarded somewhere on the floor along with yours and his wedding attire.

the first whimper escapes the moment he slips into you, but not fully. he lets you take him in, get used to his size and directs your hand to his lips before placing it on his shoulder. as if telling you, you can hurt him, claw him until his back is raw and bleeding.

you wouldn’t at first - opting to keep your hands fisted while you try your hardest to suppress every moan that erupts from your mouth with every stroke. but then he hits that sweet spot. your back arches forward and you think it’s that moment when your fingers break the delicate skin on his back - but you can’t remember. it’s a blur - the electricity coursing from your heart through your veins and curls your toes. the stars you see in the back of your mind and the way you tighten around him when the delectable sound of his moans brushes the shell of your ear as he holds you against him.

he almost crushed him underneath his weight when he pulls out of you. the traces of his arousal pressing in between your bodies as he forces himself up by propping himself on his forearms. his labored breath fans your face and he’s all you see.

there’s still a surplus of tingle in your lower abdomen how high he takes you - almost like cloud nine. and you’re slick with sweat and body fluid but there’s no where you’d rather be than here, in your husband’s arms.

five months ago, you approached him with the objective of gaining a husband to take the chairman position and maybe give you the grandchild that your mother’s been asking you for. you didn’t expect for anything more than what you bargained for. but the first time he told you how he felt - you still didn’t believe him. 

it was too surreal. and seokjin probably saw the tendrils of doubt every time he tells you how he feels - at the most sporadic moment. but he kept picking your thorns one by one like he could do this for a hundred years and more. you think i was that day when he found out about your past feelings for taehyung that he started. and he finally picked all of your prickly spikes - and now, he’s holding you like a child. head buried in between your breasts, muscled arms loosely hugging your waist. what a contrasting different to the man he was half an hour ago but so very seokjin of him.

the elated breath he lets out with his sigh is warm on your skin, “you know how to make an old man feel young.”

there he does it again. he’s been saying he’s old even though he’s only in his 30′s. at first you thought he was joking but over time - you think he truly believes he is. but when you agree with him-

“is your back okay? wouldn’t want your ancient bones breaking.” you pat his head sympathetically. 

almost as if you’ve pushed a that button with a flashy warning red on it, his fingers twine around your wrist and pull it away from his head. the bed shifts as he hovers over you with an aggrieved glint, “i’m sure there are greater things that little mouth of yours can do than express your concerns for my back, sweetheart.”

your heart skips a beat.

x

epilogue.

you love being married.

not because you can strut to seokjin’s office and have everyone know you have every right to be there. nor because the board can’t really say anything since seokjin fits every characteristics of a chairman either. but because-

“we’ve been at it like rabbits,” seokjin shoulder line jolts slightly when your arms gently wrap around him from behind but there’s a sort of mirth laced in his voice, “you’re still not tired?”

“what ever do you mean, dear husband?” your voice is sweet but not entirely innocent.

sure, you did it an hour ago and you’re both supposed to get ready for bed but when you stepped out of the bathroom and find the bed empty, you had to wander outside. you know he’d be in the living room reviewing past years’ reports in his preparation to take on your dad’s position. he could just step up first and get familiar with his job along the way - but it wouldn’t have been very seokjin to enter the battlefield without polishing his armor.

he smells like peppermint and lavender. donning a plain white shirt and grey sweats - it’s the second most dressed down you’ve ever seen him in compared to the white-collars you’re so used to seeing him in. the first, being when he’s in bed, of course.

“okay, well, i’m going to bed first.” with a peck on his cheek, you bid him a good night.

but it’s not in your nature to give up without a fight - or rather, without sauntering in front him in your pastel pink camisole. you put on the a black and gold corset on your first monthivasery - it was just an excuse for you to try on the lingerie and it paid off. but there’s just something about camisoles - floral or plain pastels are what gets him prancing on you like a hungry beast. it looks like you’re not the only one with a fetish.

the cleaner comes in every twice a week and you’re not here enough to mess up the place except the master bedroom - like seokjin said, you have been going at it like rabbits. still, you bend down, making sure your ass is perked a little higher as you rearrange the picture frames on the rack under the tv.

a tune of your favorite song vibrates against your throat for thirty-six seconds before you straighten your back and begin to walk towards the bedroom. but something you caught in your periphery halts your steps, “did you just check out my ass then bite your lip? ‘cause if you did we’re having sex. right now.”

that seems to catch him off guard - you’ve been finding new and creative ways to get fucked. some worked. and by worked, you mean it had you moaning and writhing as he took you raw. some failed. meaning he had relented mainly because you were asking and he wanted to please you - at times like those, he was the one lying down, watching you ride him but halfway through, he’d pulled you down and started fucking you missionary because ‘you were good darling, but watching you makes me want to personally fuck you senseless. you can ride me next time, i promise.’

either way, your work life is superb and your sex life is out of this world. especially with a husband like seokjin. guess that dry spell has finally lifted and unleashed the hungry beast in him.

seokjin sighs, eyebrows coming together in a troubled frown but the lump in his pants say otherwise. “when you’re sore and need me to walk you to your office tomorrow, remember you asked for this.”

something in the pit of your stomach churns. your heart races with adrenaline as he takes two steps with those long legs of his and close the distance. a yelp escapes your lips, not expecting him to hoist you over his shoulder like you weight nothing and landing a smack on your ass like he’s reprimanding you.

“seokjin! put me down, i’m heavy!” you cry out, smacking his back in protest. when you wanted him to take you, this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind - it’d be a completely, perfect lie if you say you weren’t dripping with excitement.

“this way’s faster than your tiny little legs, darling.” you can hear the smirk in his voice before he kisses the exposed skin on your hip.

x

note: and that’s it. but it’s not over yet! there might be drabbles coming up on our fav couple’s adventure as they try to get preggo lmaooo also i’ll be doing a ‘story time’ where i talk about the background of this fic - what inspired me to write it, why i titled it like the way i did and i’d like to dissect and oc and tae’s relationship and so much more. send me an ask if you have something in particular you want me to address from the fic!

if you like this fic feel free to check out namjoon’s version called good guys finish last. i’m also planning to turn this au into a series for every member. taehyung or yoongi will be next!

[nsheetee]

20cm

Pairing: Jisung x Reader Genre: Childhood Friends to Lovers AU, Summer Love AU || Angst, Fluff Length: 7.3k Summary: You and Jisung were childhood friends for several years before he moved away. When Jisung comes back to visit for a summer years later, you realize he’s grown taller, his voice has dropped, and it’s almost impossible not to fall in love with him. Warnings/Details: female reader, inspired by “20cm” by TXT A/N: a big thank you to @kmdys​ for making the banner and the gif! I hope everyone enjoys this fic ♡

Making sure to read the epilogue, Love Again, when you’re done!

Warm summer air never felt better than when riding a bike in the late afternoon. The air caresses your hair and carries the smell of wheat from the fields that are on your left and right. It takes all of your might not to close your eyes at the relaxing and restful feeling of summer break, especially now that you’ll never be going back to school again; that chapter of your life now ended and the next is slowly beginning.

You languidly pedal your rusty green bike, mindful to not ride into the gravel next to the road so that you don’t come home with a bloody knee and bruised apples. The bright green granny smiths sit in your basket, two fabric bags encompassing them. Your neighbors grow some of the best apples in the county, and it’s a dream to be able to ride over to their house and pick up a dozen for the apple pie your mom will make for dessert tonight.

At the thought of tonight’s events, your heart springs into light thuds, like a little bell that signals to your heart the beginning of your future.

Jisung, your old childhood friend, will be coming back to town for a few weeks this summer.

You never thought you would see him again, his moving away almost five years ago brought you so much sadness and the displacement of your closest friend. Jisung was the person you’d sit next to at lunch. You always gave him your carrots and in return he gave you his strawberry milk, puncturing the straw into the bottle for you. He was the one who walked you home after school; the wheat fields were so much younger back then, just like the two of you.

He was the one who made you laugh, who took all of your teasing about how much shorter he was than you, who consoled you when your pet frog died in 7th grade. He was your best friend, someone who’ll always hold a special place in your heart.

When your rusty tires roll up your long driveway, you see an unknown parked car, and your heart jumps to your throat, nerves and excitement filling you from fingertips to toes.

He’s here. Your childhood best friend is here.

Slowly stopping your bike and setting it down on the grass, you pick up the two fabric bags of apples and slowly walk up the porch stairs, your heart pounding in your throat when the screen door opens. You stop on the top stair, looking up at the boy— no, young man, who has just walked onto the porch.

“Hey, ___.” Jisung chuckles lowly. You’re sure you look stupefied. Jisung stands less than a yard away, biting his bottom lip with hands shoved into his short pockets. Has it always been this quiet on the porch? You can’t even hear the birds chirping or the cows in the farm across the street mooing.

“Jisung?” You finally speak up and he laughs, a deep and boyish laugh that fits him, but it’s not what you’re used to hearing come out of his mouth.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Out of habit, you take a step back, for some reason needing to make more space between you two. Unfortunately, you forget about the stairs behind you and yelp as you begin to fall backwards. Jisung takes two big strides and catches your wrist in one hand, stopping you from falling down the stairs. Despite the possibility of you almost spraining your ankle or hitting your head in the last few seconds, you can only think about Jisung’s large hand gripping yours.

“You saved the apples.” You chuckle nervously, rolling your lips between your teeth when Jisung doesn’t laugh back.

“I saved you, bumble bee.” He pulls you up to the porch. Now that you’re closer, you can’t stop looking over the features of his face; his tanned skin, and pink lips, and the laugh lines that are starting to crease the sides of his eyes. It’s like the more you stare, the more features you can find that you’re not familiar with.

“You still remember that nickname?” You ask, holding your precious apples in both hands in front of you.

“Of course. How could I ever forget you?”

It’s a few hours later, and you still haven’t gotten over how much Jisung has changed. You examine him under the ceiling light of your dining room, the way his now dirty blonde hair reflects the artificial light and how much baby fat he lost from his face. Not to mention the size of his hands as he pops open a soda can for you and helps pour it into your glass, his skillful hands mesmerizing you in an almost embarrassing way.

“I’m so glad you’re back in town. I’ve missed you guys like crazy, and I’m sure ___ missed Jisung, too.” Your mom speaks up, the mention of your name making you rip your attention off of your childhood friend to focus on the other side of the dining table.

“O-Oh, yes. I was… very surprised earlier.” The adults laugh, acknowledging your comment on Jisung’s changes from over the past few years.

“By the way, have you guys made plans for the next few days yet?” Your mom asks you and Jisung while forcefully adding more salad to your plate, your fork of defense no match for her skillful aiming.

“No, not yet.” Jisung answers.

“Great! You guys should help Uncle Henry pick strawberries tomorrow. You guys used to love picking strawberries every summer with him.” Your fork stops moving, sending a glance to Jisung’s way at your mother’s proposition.

“Sure, why not.” Jisung smiles. Despite being five years older and a whole foot taller, Jisung’s shy and bashful actions make him seem like he hasn’t aged a day. You go back to forking your carrots, eventually they find their way to the edge of Jisung’s plate.

“What’s this?” He asks with a muffled laugh, “My welcome present?”

“Oh,” You realize just how many wavy carrot slices you’ve piled on his plate and laugh awkwardly, “Sorry, I guess it’s still one of my habits. I know you love carrots.”

“Actually, I hate carrots now.” Jisung scrunches his nose and forks the vegetables, putting them back on your plate, “They’re too hard.”

You stare at your plate, wondering why his comment pulled a string in you and made your heart fall to the bottom of your stomach. Then you remember it has been five years. Of course his preferences would have changed in that time. But why are you getting upset over some carrots?

“Did you guys plan anything during your stay?” Your attention is once again drawn to the other side of the table as your mother speaks.

“We were thinking of hanging around for a couple weeks, then going to the beach like we always did during the summer.” Jisung’s mother answers, and then gasps as she turns to you, “___, you should come with us!”

“Me?” Your eyebrows rise in surprise, “Oh, I don’t want to intrude…”

“Oh, hush, you always used to visit the beach house with us. It wouldn’t be the same without you and you know it.” You move two carrot slices around your plate, feeling Jisung’s gaze hit the side of your head and his knee rest against yours under the table.

“Okay, yeah. I’d love to come.”

After sharing a slice of apple pie, you and Jisung walk to the back porch to witness the blazing sunset that sets over Uncle Henry’s strawberry field, which is coincidentally neighboring your backyard. Jisung looks up; the fresh summer air ruffles his shirt and hair as he takes in the sound of grasshoppers a few feet away. The moon lovingly gazes at the setting sun from the other side of the sky.

You walk past him down the stairs, still trying to figure out your new feelings towards Jisung. The hammering of your heart and the sweating of your palms was never an issue around your best friend, but neither has the awkwardness that strings between you two. You wonder what else has changed about Jisung within the past five years. You want to ask, but you feel like there’s an invisible wall that time and distance has built between you two.

You never expected you and Jisung to go back to the way you were before he moved away, but you didn’t know your relationship would be so different. That he would be so different. That you would feel so different.

“Is that-” Jisung gasps, “Is that your old swing?” He looks past you, walking down the stairs and to the rope swing that hangs off of a sturdy branch on the old oak tree in your backyard. “Come here! I’ll push you.” He laughs as he reaches the swing, testing the security of it before you sit down. You shake your earlier thoughts and feelings away, wanting to just spend some time with your old and dear friend.

“Do you remember when I pushed you off of this once?” You ask as Jisung gains some momentum, pushing you higher and higher into the sky. “And you broke your finger?” You call back to him, hoping he hears you.

“Of course, I remember.” You hear his melodic laughter in return, “I remember you crying because you thought you killed me since I had to go to the hospital.” You laugh in return, reminiscing your silly worries at the time. You let Jisung push you some more, your hair getting caught in your mouth and your skin cooling off from flying around your backyard. Eventually Jisung slows you down, and you’re only idly swaying back and forth as he watches the sunset bleed into the sky.

“There’s never these types of sunsets where I live now.” He muses, “I never thought this would be something I missed.”

“Did you miss me?” You tease, fingers wrapping around the rope to support yourself as you bend your head back to look at him. He steps forward, so close that you have to sit up straight and turn to face him properly. His hands find the rope, gently sliding down as he leans to your height.

Nothing prepared you for the butterflies that erupted in your stomach when his pinkies touch your hands, or how clear and glassy his eyes are when they look over your face. Could that look on his face be adoration? Affection? Or are you just getting your hopes up? He’s barely twenty centimeters away, yet he feels closer to you than ever before.

“In all honesty, when I stepped foot into this town, I felt like a little kid again.” He whispers over the grasshopper’s chirps, “I mean, I’m still a kid, but you know what I mean.” He laughs, and you’re paralyzed by how soft his cheeks look while raised up in happiness like that. “I feel like I walked into my past in an older body, and I have never been more thankful to see you here waiting for me.” He nods, solidifying his words, “I missed you a lot, bumble bee.”

The humidity rises the next morning, the sun is moving slowly through the sky and showers its rays down on everyone below. You think maybe it’s not a good idea to pick strawberries today, but Jisung’s excitement makes you put on some rubber boots and a sun hat, and guide him to Uncle Henry’s farm.

Uncle Henry, despite his name, is not your uncle, but rather an old man who has grown strawberries in this large field behind your house for over twenty years. Even though he’s old and his back is crooked, he does not plan to stop farming any time soon. Picking strawberries was your way of helping Uncle Henry when you were a child and he enjoyed the company of youth, saying it made him feel younger whenever you and Jisung would joke around with him.

“My God, I never thought I’d see the two of you together again.” He exclaims when you two walk to his porch, “How has city life been treating you, Jisung?” The old man asks as he hands out some baskets and you start making your way to the strawberry fields.

“It was different at first, but I got used to it pretty quickly.”

“You still remember how to find a good strawberry, right?” Uncle Henry jokes and Jisung nods, assuring him he still remembers how to do the job. “So, how did you finish school? Were you at the top of your class?” Uncle Henry muses as he finds a good place to start picking.

“Uh,” Jisung laughs curtly as you all bend down to the ground, “Not really, I was too busy dancing to worry about school.” You and Uncle Henry stand up straight at Jisung’s words, looking down at him still crouching.

“Dancing?” You both ask at the same time. When Jisung lived here, he never spoke a word about dancing. You would’ve never guessed that’s what he spent most of his time on during high school.

“Yeah, I was on my school’s dance team and did some underground dancing on the side. But don’t tell my parents that.” He holds up a finger to his lips in a “shush” motion and Uncle Henry erupts in gulfs of laughter, patting Jisung on his back as they both get back to work. You, on the other hand, are still dazed by Jisung’s story. It makes your thoughts from the night before come back to the forefront of your mind.

Jisung has changed so much in the past few years. It’s almost like getting to know a whole new person, but still having so many memories with them. That singular thought kept you up last night, tossing and turning in confusion. Something in you wants to learn more about the Jisung who stands next to you.

The smell of strawberries is almost suffocating in the best possible way. Sweat glides down your back and makes your shirt stick to you, your work gloves make your hands sweaty too, but hearing Uncle Henry and Jisung talk about anything and everything under the sun reminds you of a slice of youth, back when things were much simpler and you weren’t even aware of it.

It’s strange how different you and Jisung are; from growing up so much in the past few years and changing your views and tastes, but in the small strawberry field, you feel like time hasn’t passed at all. It tricks you, making your heart feel secure everytime you look over at Jisung and see him smiling like a fool.

You forgot how fun picking strawberries with Uncle Henry and Jisung is. They love to pull at the strings of your sunhat to puff out your cheeks, and Jisung lets you piggyback him while moving from one area of the field to another to relax your feet. Slowly, you and Jisung remember what it’s like to be around each other. You remember how well your humor matches each other and how you can almost guess what the other is thinking with one look. Out of all the things that have changed about Jisung, you’re glad this part of him has not.

At noon, when the sun is the highest in the sky and the humidity feels like it’s burning you from its intensity, Uncle Henry tells you to go home and eat so that you’ll be energized to pick some more fruits later that afternoon. You walk back to your house through the strawberries field, careful to not step on any plants as you do so. Jisung takes off your sun hat, turning it upside down and filling it with fresh strawberries from the ground. You don’t complain about the loss of shade, and you’re sure Uncle Henry won’t mind you stealing some strawberries either.

Instead of going inside, you and Jisung wash the fruits outside and sit under your beloved oak tree, the shade providing a pleasant difference from the beating sun you spent all morning under. You knock your boot against Jisung’s as you both sit with your legs in front of you, sunhat filled with bright red strawberries sharing a place on both of your laps.

“Ahhh.” Jisung says, holding a strawberry next to your lips. You laugh, but open your mouth anyway and he pops the fruit in. You do the same to him, laughing when the strawberry you picked is too big for him to eat in one mouthful.

“Do I seem older to you?” You ask, swatting a bug off of Jisung’s shoulder, not making eye contact with him. Your thoughts from yesterday and earlier this morning still haunt you. The difference now being that you’re less worried about Jisung feeling weird since you spent the whole morning chatting and interacting together.

“What do you mean?” He looks for a good strawberry to feed you.

“Do I seem different from the last time you saw me?” If Jisung has grown up and changed so much in the past five years, that means you should have, too.

“Oh, definitely. You’re prettier than before.” A momentary silence falls over the two of you. Your cheeks heat up, this time not from the direct sunlight, and Jisung thinks he said something wrong. “I mean, you were pretty before. But now, you seem to know yourself better and that makes you look prettier to me.”

He holds up a strawberry to your lips again. “Does that make any sense?”

You eat the fruit, nodding afterwards. “I get what you’re saying.”

“Why?” You pause at his question, unsure if you want to tell him the truth, the partial truth, or lie. At one point, you could’ve talked to Jisung about anything. But at that same point, you were only fourteen years old and didn’t really have anything serious to talk about. So, you decide on option two.

“You grew up a lot in the past five years and everyone was talking about it. I wondered if I had changed, too.” You let some of your fears show in your words, and Jisung smiles adoringly at you. You don’t catch his loving gaze as you pick at your sun hat. Jisung tickles the bottom of your chin, making you look up as he leans into you on one arm.

“We both changed a lot, definitely with the things we like and how we look, but I don’t think we changed that much as people. You didn’t transform completely into someone I don’t know.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because even five years later, you’re still clumsy enough to step backwards on the stairs and you still have that mellow look on your face whenever we pick strawberries.” Jisung explains with a shrug. You don’t say anything back, biting the inside of your lip as Jisung moves you to rest your head on his lap. “You look sleepy, bumble bee. Rest. You deserve it.”

He waves your empty sunhat to create some wind, fanning warm air at both of you while you close your eyes and try not to fall asleep on his lap. His words don’t comfort you, instead they make you think even harder about the thoughts that kept you up last night. If neither of you have changed in the past five years, why is your heart fluttering at the sight of Jisung? Why does your gaze fall back to him any chance you get? Why do you feel so alert at his presence?

And the most important question of them all: are you feeling these things towards your childhood friend, or for the boy that has you resting in his lap? Because you’re starting to think he is not one and the same.

Uncle Henry always told you and Jisung that the best thing about farming is to share what you’ve grown with other people, otherwise your effort could be meaningless. And what’s a better way to share than with a farmer’s market?

After finishing picking strawberries with Uncle Henry, he invited you and Jisung to the framer’s market that would open Saturday morning. Since you and Jisung had nothing else to do, you woke up early and got yourselves ready to head over to Uncle Henry’s place to help him load his truck.

You’ve gone to several farmer’s markets before, but you’ve never had the opportunity to sit on the other side of the table. The side that sees little kids smile when their parents buy them bunches of grapes, that sees the eldery who look forward to the market all week just to try on hand-crafted jewelry, adorning smiles brighter than the summer sun. It’s all so energetic and loud and it fills your heart to the brim with content.

You don’t even notice that half of the day has passed by when you get to sit down in a lawn chair by Uncle Henry’s truck. Jisung plops down next to you, rubbing his calf muscle to get rid of any tension from standing up for so long, but a permanent smile rests on his lips.

“Ah, you kids helped me out so much. Go enjoy the rest of the market for today.” Uncle Henry hands you and Jisung a carton of strawberries.

“Will you be okay by yourself?” Jisung asks with worry.

“I’ll manage. I can’t let you kids not spend some time together.” With the tone of Uncle Henry’s voice, you tilt your head in confusion. You don’t get to think about the look he sends you and Jisung for too long because you’re being pulled away from the stand and into the crowd on the other side of your table.

“Where should we go first, bumble bee?” Jisung asks, popping a rich strawberry into his mouth. You don’t answer because you can already see where you want to go. Like a habit, you interlock your arm with Jisung and pull him to a honey stand. As you look on to see several mason jars filled to the brim with sweet honey, Jisung pops a strawberry in your mouth.

“You two kids want some honey or are you just gonna keep staring like a pair of honey bears?” You and Jisung simultaneously turn to who you presume is the owner of the stand. She laughs at your synchronous movement and nods towards the strawberries. “Let me give you guys some sweetener.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I was just looking because I didn’t know there was a bee farm in town.” You explain, but the lady opens a fresh jar of honey anyway, the smell pulling you and Jisung closer to the table.

“I’m from a few towns over. There’s not a lot of competition here for honey, so I think the car ride is worth it.” She drips the thick liquid sugar over your strawberries with a honey dipper, making yours and Jisung’s mouths almost water at the sight and smell. “Plus, you guys are such a cute couple, you deserve something sweet.”

You almost choke on air at the comment, now hyper aware of Jisung’s arm folded into yours. Jisung doesn’t seem to mind the comment as much as you, smiling his gummy smile and lending a strawberry for the owner of the stall to taste.

While Jisung is having the time of his life, you’re only a short ways away, sweating about how your stomach is doing acrobatics and how your heart won’t shut up. It’s been a few days since your shared moment with Jisung under the oak tree in your backyard, and you’ve felt more like yourself when you haven’t been this close to him.

But when you feel yourself react like this, some twisted part of you never wants it to stop. You want the acrobats in your stomach to keep moving, you like the way your heart screams in delight at the sight of Jisung’s smile. It confuses you and enlightens you at the same time. You’ve never been so perplexed yet so peaceful in your life.

Jisung has to pull you away from the honey stall, saying a goodbye to the nice seller and walking further into the market.

“Where to now?” He asks, taking a moment to lift a strawberry to your lips. You eat it, not noticing how the thick honey melts onto your lips. But Jisung notices, and it takes everything in his right mind to not lift his thumb up and drag it over your soft lips.

You hum, looking around the area while getting your head out of the clouds. You see a blaze of reds, oranges, and blues and your heart tells you that’s where you want to go. As you pull Jisung closer to the stall, the blend of colors turn into individual flowers. The smell hits you harder than any other stall; you feel like you’re transported to the field where these flowers were picked.

“Which one do you like?” Jisung asks and you point to a striking batch of blue cornflowers. Your eyes have been pinned to them from the second you saw this specific shade of blue out of the corner of your eye.

“How much for a bouquet of cornflowers?” Jisung steps forward to ask the seller.

“$10.” Jisung sucks a breath in between his teeth, remembering that he barely has any money to begin with.

“What about… just one?” The seller laughs at Jisung, not in a condescending way, but out of joy.

“Is it for your girlfriend?” The seller tilts his head at you. Once again, you’re left breathless by the second person who has assumed you and Jisung are dating.

‘Your girlfriend.’ What an interesting feeling the words bring to your soul.

“Yeah.”

Oh.

“Then I’ll take those strawberries for one cornflower.”

“Deal.”

Jisung knows the deal is not fair on his part, but walking over to you with the flower in his hand and seeing your eyes light up is so worth losing a few strawberries. Little does he know, your reaction is not for the flower, but for him. Jisung rips the long stem, his warm fingers stabilizing your head by placing them on your jaw. He whispers a “don’t move” while tucking the flower behind your ear, his gaze slipping from the charming and bright blue flower to your sparkling eyes, his gentle fingers lingering in their spot.

In the busy farmer’s market, with hundreds of people moving around you like busy bees, sights and smells hitting you from different directions, and the never ending summer sun gazing into your irises, you can still only look at Jisung. He can only look at you. You captivate each other and it’s not something you, him, or the people around you can deny. It’s a fact of nature, and the sweet truth that you bite into like a strawberry.

Unfortunately, things were not tied up perfectly that day.

You didn’t get to talk to Jisung once you got back to Uncle Henry’s stall, your hands that were practically tied together unwoven the moment you saw the old man. The week and a half that followed was a whirlwind of Jisung and his family trying to shove as many things as they could do in a day. From going to the lake, to visiting the limited amount of sights the area has, to saying hello to the people who missed them while they were gone.

You barely saw Jisung for that time, and when you did it was while surrounded by your families, only secret looks of sweetness passed between you two. It was fun at first, playing coy and drifting between making your feelings obvious and not, but after a few days, you just wanted to spend some time with Jisung and work out the feelings between you two.

And then, the day to go to the beach came.

You were glad that you accepted the Parks’ invitation to join them at the beach house. Not only has the weather become even more humid and hotter as the days krept along, but the lack of rainfall or even a mist from the sky made it unbearable to go outside for long.

You sat in the backseat with Jisung while his parents sat in the front of their van, a box of beach towels sitting between you two. You would glance at Jisung from behind the stack of colorful towels, meeting his shy gaze before looking away.

You love the beach. The smell of sea salt and sand makes you close your eyes and stand still, taking in the ambiance of the seemingly never ending water in front of you. You take off your socks and shoes before stepping onto the sand, the therapeutic landscape making you feel one hundred times better when you didn’t even know the extent of your own disarray. You arrived at the beach house later than expected, the sun has already set behind the horizon and only its light shines over the waves. You don’t hear Jisung walking up behind you until you feel someone tapping on your shoulder.

You turn to look but see no one, immediately turning over your other shoulder to catch Jisung standing behind you with a bright smile.

“Gotcha.” He laughs, making you giggle along with him, not minding the small prank.

“I thought you were supposed to be unpacking your things?”

“I snuck out. I can finish it later.” Jisung waves his hand carelessly, turning to the ocean. You both fall into silence, it’s comfortable and not completely quiet, the sound of waves hitting the shore and the stars poking out into the sky filling in the empty space between you. You dig your big toe into the sand, drawing random shapes that have no rhyme or reason. Jisung notices and joins you; his pants are rolled up a bit and his shoes are off, laying next to yours a few feet away.

“Hold on.” He stops you from moving by placing his hands on your shoulders, then moving away from you and tracing big lines in the sand around you. You follow his foot with your eyes, heating up when he finishes his picture and tip toes to stand in front of you.

“It’s a heart.” You mumble bashfully, not being able to look up at him.

“Yeah, it’s my heart. Big and spacious, and you’re right in the middle of it.” The suddenness of his indirect confession makes your heart pound. You look up at him in surprise and he takes quick steps closer to you.

You’re not that far away anymore. You’re not even twenty centimeters away. No, you’re only one breath away, only one deep gaze away, only two heartbeats beating loudly away from each other.

Jisung kisses your lips, a small peck, and then moves back to gage your reaction. When you look at him, wide eyed and a splutter of laughter leaving your body, he’s confused.

“Was that a mistake?” You ask. Jisung is about to lie and say that yes, it was, but instead he shakes his head.

“No. I meant it.”

“Then come here and prove it to me.” Under the shade of night, Jisung gently grabs your hand and interlocks his fingers with yours as he kisses you again, this time with more purpose. He pulls away, still trying to figure out your reaction, his hooded eyes curious and excited and all on you.

You pull him back to you using your interlocked hands and kiss him again and again and again. He tastes like honey and feels as plush as cotton. You never want this feeling to stop, you don’t even want to remember what it was like to live without Jisung’s lips on yours. You never want to let go.

The few days spent at the beach were no doubt some of the best days of your summer. You don’t think you left Jisung’s side the whole time, and it didn’t look like he minded too much. Mornings were spent walking along the shore of the beach just as the sun came up over the horizon. You collected seashells of different sizes and colors and gave them to each other as presents.

The days were spent exploring the town or lazing around the beach house with some lemonade, Jisung’s chest under your head as you napped the day away with the sunlight streaming in through the window as your only time keeper. Nights were spent eating delicious food with Jisung’s parents, sneaking out to the balcony to share secret kisses that had you both loving the feeling of doing something daring and exciting.

But as quickly as Jisung came to your side, he just as quickly left.

Your journey back to your home felt shorter than when you were going to the beach, and you almost didn’t want to ever come back, happy enough to stay at the beach with Jisung for the rest of the summer, or even your life. This is when you and Jisung realized what dead end you both walked into.

“Jisung, you can leave your bags in the car.” Jisung looks up at his dad from attempting to tug his suitcase out of the trunk.

“What?”

“We’re leaving to go home tomorrow morning, you don’t need to dig out your suitcase.” And with that, Jisung’s parents leave you both by the car, staring after their retreating figures. 

A part of you knew this was coming from the very beginning. From the first day you saw Jisung, from the day you spent picking strawberries, from the day you spent at the farmer’s market, and from the kiss on the beach. You knew it would all end tomorrow, but you decided to erase that fact. You fell so deeply for Jisung in the past few weeks that time didn’t seem real. Now, time is going to be the deciding factor of the relationship you and Jisung have created.

“Bumble bee…” Jisung trails off, shutting the trunk of the van and stepping closer to you.

“It’s been three weeks already? I didn’t even notice.” How do you fall in love with someone so quickly? Maybe you always loved Jisung, but you only now realized it. Why is time playing such a cruel trick on you?

“What do we do?” You turn to face Jisung. He sees the tears that are falling down your cheeks, unknowing to you, and gently wipes them away with his thumb. His touch gives you comfort, and so it’s almost impossible for you to pull away from him. You know you have to stay away now, no matter how much it hurts you.

“You have to leave, and I have to stay. I guess this… ends here.”

“Don’t say that.” You’ve never heard Jisung answer so quickly, or so sternly, before.

“What else am I supposed to say? How will this work out when I’m not even sure when I’ll see you again?” You sigh frustratedly, “We should’ve never done this.”

“Stop it.” Jisung’s face twists in agony, his deep voice unusually fragile sounding. Your heart pains to see him like this, but a part of your mind wants you to continue, knowing that this is for Jisung’s own good. As if he can tell there is a battle going on inside you, he steps closer, tiling your chin up to meet your eyes with his own teary ones.

“Please, hear me out.” He says, and when you don’t move, he continues. “I haven’t known how special you are to me until these past few weeks. Your words and your touch and your little hands, too.” His voice cracks as he takes your smaller hand in both of his and looks at how perfectly it fits into his own. “I was so shocked to see you again for the first time in years, but I was more shocked at how much we both changed. But still, you’re the same person I remember from when we were younger, and I thought that meant we were perfect for each other. That even time couldn’t keep us apart.”

You can’t help your bottom lip from quivering at his words. He stutters and cracks his voice, but his conviction is present and it has your knees shaking.

“I was so shocked that you’re still the same bumble bee that I know and love. I was so shocked that I looked at you and my heart ran wild. I was so shocked that my shoulders have grown to fit you perfectly between them.” He pulls you right in front of him, unable to move anywhere else. “You belong here in my arms, with me. We’re just a step away, a handspan from me to you, just twenty centimeters apart. Please, we can solve this.”

He waits among the chirping of the birds and the sway of the wheat from the light wind. Sweat rolls down his cheek and the sun creates an orange tint on your face, illuminating your eyes and lightening your hair. He’ll never forget how pretty you looked when you broke his heart.

“I’m sorry, Jisung. I think fate is pulling us apart. Who are we to go against that?” You counter, leaving Jisung stunned by your answer to his heart-felt confession. Your mind wins the war, and your hands leave his as you turn and walk away. Taking these few steps away from him and to your home is hard, you feel like you’re walking through mud— through heavy lovesickness just to get away from him. Your heart keeps singing to turn around and run back to him, to fall into the space between his arms and never leave.

But you keep walking, up the porch stairs and to your room. Your heart hurts, and Jisung’s heart hurts even more.

“Did you already say goodbye to Jisung and his family?” Is the first thing your mother asks when you walk down the stairs the next day. She’s washing dishes, her back facing away from you, and therefore not noticing the gloomy look on your face.

“Yeah…” You lie, feeling your chest constrict with the sounds of car doors opening and closing outside. Jisung and his family must be getting ready to leave. You know they had breakfast before completely packing up and going home, but you couldn’t make yourself walk down the stairs to join them, unsure of how to face Jisung after rejecting him so harshly.

“Oh, that’s good. It was so nice of them to visit us.” Your mother speaks casually. She doesn’t know that all of her words etch cracks into your heart.

“Is there something you needed from me?”

“Oh, right. Can you take this money to Uncle Henry?” She nods to an envelope on the counter, “For some strawberries we bought from him.” You don’t say another word, snatching the envelope and putting on your rubber boots to walk through the strawberry field. “You should take an umbrella, it looks like it’ll rain.”

“I’ll be gone for a minute, it’ll be okay.” You mumble to her before closing the back door of your house and marching to Uncle Henry’s. The weather outside feels weird. For what seems like the first time this summer, the sun is hidden by gray clouds, but the hot air sticks still to your skin like cling wrap. It feels uncomfortable and irritating to you, or maybe that’s just because of your disposition today. You knock on Uncle Henry’s door, waiting for a minute before he opens up.

“Hello, this is from my mother.” You try to act polite, but you can’t help your harsh mood speak through your words. Uncle Henry looks like he doesn’t care, but gives you a confused look.

“Thank you. Isn’t today Jisung’s last day here?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I thought you would be more happy today.” His words confuse you.

“Why would I be happy?” You blink at him. He laughs wholeheartedly at your response before looking up at the ceiling of his porch as he reminisces.  

“I remember when you and Jisung came here to help me pick strawberries, you went back to the house to get water and I chatted with Jisung for a bit. About you.” You shift on your feet as your heart starts to speed up. “I made him promise that if nothing happens between you two during the time he’s here, that he’ll definitely confess his feelings for you before he leaves today.”

Your heart is in rhythm with the pattering of the rain that begins to fall on the ground outside.

“He had feelings for me back then?” You stare at Uncle Henry with the widest eyes.

“Oh, ___.” He laughs again, “I could tell he had feelings for you since you were kids. I guessed that now you’re older it would seem more obvious, that’s why I made him promise that he’d definitely confess.” You’re not sure what to say about this new fact, but you answer with your true feelings on the whole situation.

“Fate obviously didn’t want us together. I don’t know when I’ll ever see him again.” Your words are met with a smack to the side of your head with the envelope in Uncle Henry’s hands.

“Ow!” You’re shocked by the gesture, your mouth opening at the impact and your hand coming up to your head.

“You stupid kids. When you have a love like that you don’t let fate decide what happens with it. You take it and run with it. You don’t know if you’ll find another one like it.” Through the pattering of rain, through Uncle Henry’s words, and through the thudding of your own heart, you hear a car engine start up in the distance. Your fight or flight instinct kicks in, and your legs move down the porch stairs before you can even register what’s happening.

You run through the lonely strawberry field, mud kicking up behind you and rain beating down onto you. You try your hardest not to slip but still run as fast as you can. Your throat burns, your calves ache, you’re slightly blinded by the rain, and you’re sure you’ve stepped on a few strawberry plants, but you keep running in spite of it all. This is you, taking your own fate by the reins and pulling it your way.

By the time you reach your beloved oak tree, you slow down and lean yourself against it, watching Jisung’s family car drive down your long driveway and onto the main road, out of sight.

You’re too late.

You slide down the tree, not caring about the mud on your shoes and the ground dirting your skin and clothes. Somewhere between the drops of rain on your face falls tears. They’re salty and hidden by the gloomy clouds above you. You don’t know what’s more sad: breaking apart from Jisung when you know there is still love between you or being too late to do anything about it. You truly are stupid for letting Jisung slip from your fingers like that, for giving up so easily. The pain in your chest physically hurts you, sobs leave your chest in waves of sadness and meet the thudding rain around you.

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” You cry out to no one in particular, watching the driveway as if waiting for Jisung’s car to come back. It doesn’t, and guilt fills you as you remember how ruthless your words were, probably the last words you’ll ever say to Jisung.

He’s no longer just a few breaths away, a few heartbeats away. He’s now miles and miles away, the distance between you two stretching after every minute. Your hope shatters as you lean your head against your old and strong oak tree. You remember the new memories that you and Jisung made over the past few weeks. They add to the existing ones of him from your childhood, and that’s where he will live on: in your heart, in your mind, and in your memories of a bitter first love.

[adxmparriish]

my high queen’s hospitality - read on ao3

writer: lizziebxnnet / godgavemelou words: 2575 rating: explicit warning: knife play

“If you ever leave me wondering of your whereabouts again - “ Jude begins, her hands finding Cardan’s dark hair and pulling roughly, “My knife will find your neck.”

Cardan shivers at her words and Jude grins a wicked smile.

Written for Day 26 of Folktober

@jurdannetrevels​ @jurdannet​ @slightlyrebelliouswriter23​ @clockworkgraystairs​ @illyrianwitchling​ @thefolkofthefic​

-----

Jude’s awakens to a small noise outside her chambers.

She rises quickly, assessing her surroundings. It’s quiet, early afternoon sunshine coming through the curtains. There’s a light breeze coming from the open window, and she can hear a bird chirping outside. Her eyes roam the space around her, looking for anything strange but everything seems normal. The gown she wore earlier is laying across her favorite chair in the corner, the bottom becoming wrinkled because she refused to hang it. In her rush before bed, it hadn’t seemed important.

Figuring the noise was the bird, she lays her head back down, closing her eyes to surrender to sleep once more. She finds her brain wandering, however. The night previous had been one headache after another, her anger blooming more and more as time passed. She had awoken to Taryn in her room, talking of Madoc and his latest schemes. It’s been weeks of news with nothing becoming of it. Not wanting to hear it but Taryn continuing to babble on made her irritable immediately. Afterwards, she’d been forced into correspondence, the least favorite of her royal duties. After writing for what seemed like days, where she thought her hand may fall off, she was swept away to meetings. 

Most of them were silly, stupid things, where she sat there and felt as if she wasn’t needed or wanted. The various members of The Living Council are still warming up to her, but without Cardan there, it seems they turn cold easily. The only time they engage her is to discuss revels, which irritates her more, as if the only thing she’s good for is planning parties. She stormed off halfway through their last meeting, slamming the heavy doors behind her as she left.

And then, there’s Cardan.

She hadn’t seen him all day. From the time she woke until she came back to her room, tears threatening to fall from her eyes, he had been suspiciously absent. She had asked several others where he’d run off to, with no answers from any of them. So angry and frustrated by the time she was ready for bed, she didn’t even bother going to his room, the one that had begun sharing after she’d been crowned. 

She can feel her eyes stinging behind her closed lids as she lies there, wondering where Cardan could be. Never one to be sneaky, at least not any more, it troubles her to not know where he is or what he’s up to. Pulling her duvet higher around her chin, she sniffs and blinks away the unshed tears as she finally drifts off to sleep once more.

-

When the bed dips behind her, her hand finds Nightfell under her pillow and she shifts, the blade finding a milky white throat in the pink light of twilight. Cardan laughs darkly, shifting away slightly so the blade doesn’t cut him. Jude’s face remains cold even as she relaxes, happy at least that it’s Cardan and not someone else. She hadn’t realized how much she had truly missed him over the hours, but seeing him now is like a breath of fresh air.

“Hello to you, too, my love,” he says, his eyes soft and his voice low.

Jude sits up higher, still not removing Nightfell from his neck. 

“Where have you been?” she asks.

Cardan shifts, trying to pull away but she presses on his throat, her face unmoving. Cardan’s hand finds her wrist, squeezing lightly.

“Forgive me, for I have been busy,” he states, eyeing her and the knife that still threatens him. “I was out having something made for you.”

At his words, Jude’s cold exterior fades, the blade falling slightly.

“Excuse me?”

Cardan reaches behind himself, pulling a beautiful dagger from his belt. The hilt is small, beautiful orange crystals covering the top while the rest is a dark black. The blade is long but curved up to a sharp point. While it looks small in between his long fingers, as he passes it to her, the hilt feels perfect in her palm. She lowers Nightfell finally, and drops it to the bed as she holds her new knife in her hand.

“Grimsen made it,” Cardan explains. “It’s been enchanted to take in the blood of whoever it kills, and it makes the wielder stronger as it does.”

He points to the crystals.

“This is aragonite. It’s a powerful crystal, with the ability to help the wielder to confront past trauma, wounds and emotions.”

Jude’s eyes sting as she holds the dagger, finally meeting Cardan’s eyes for the first time since he gave it to her. Even though his eyes are dark as night, they twinkle and shine as they find hers. She places her new dagger next to her other, before moving forward on the bed, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

Sometimes, Jude thinks her love for him knows no bounds, and then moments like these prove her incorrect.

“I hope you’re aware I worried myself sick wondering where you were,” Jude chides him. “A note would have been lovely.”

“Forgive me, my Queen. Next time, I shall remember.” Cardan’s own arms have wrapped around her waist, hugging her tightly.

As they sit quietly on the sheets, limbs intertwined, Cardan’s hands begin to wander, their time without each other finding him longing to touch her. They find her hair, the nape of her neck, the small of her back. His long fingers caress her softly, drawing shivers out of Jude. Her nightgown, which has ridden up her thighs, isn’t doing much to cover her skin. Goosebumps begin to rise all over her.

“Oh how I missed you, wife.” Cardan shifts, his lips finding her neck to kiss her there. “Sometimes I wonder why we ever leave this room, why I bother to do anything but worship you.”

Jude wonders the same, especially on nights like these, where it’s just them and nothing else. When his hands are all over her, his low voice in her ears, and his heartbeat beneath her palms. Her own heart is pounding, her skin growing warmer as they kiss and move together.

“If you ever leave me wondering of your whereabouts again - “ Jude begins, her hands finding Cardan’s dark hair and pulling roughly, “My new knife will find your neck.”

Cardan shivers at her words and Jude grins a wicked smile. 

They don’t play this game often but when they do, it is some of the best fun they have. Jude gets the power she craves, and Cardan gets the freedom and ease he needs. They both win, both get pleasure, and both love every second.

She shoves him backwards to the bed, and his black eyes are wide as they stare up at her. Her bottom lip is between her teeth as she finds the button of his pants, popping it open and pulling them down his legs. Thankfully, his shoes are already removed and he’s bare otherwise. He’s already hard, so she licks her hand and grabs him, tugging lightly. She knows it must be a bit rough, but Cardan’s eyes roll back anyway and his hips move with her hand as she strokes.

“Jude,” he murmurs, trying his best to keep his eyes open as she moves her hand over him. 

She loves seeing him this way, the few times lately he gives himself away and lets go. Being High King weighs heavy on him most days, but when she can make him forget, make him lose himself and think of nothing, she is most happy.

When she tires of using her hand, she bends down and pulls him into her mouth. He is heavy on her tongue as she moves down, swallowing him completely. Cardan groans loudly, his hips bucking up, but she shoves him back down with her hands, pinning him. Her eyes meet his own as she takes him, and when he goes to grab her hair, her glare stops him, as if to say ‘don’t you dare’.

Jude gives it everything she has, closing her eyes and enjoying herself, as Cardan fights to stay still. He’s still loud, however, her name falling from his lips like a constant prayer. She hums and Cardan loses himself, cursing and forgetting he’s not supposed to be touching. His fingers find her hair and yank, and Jude pulls away, his cock falling from her mouth with a pop.

“Cardan, darling, no touching. Understand?”

He nods back at her. She smiles at him, but it’s sinister, and he knows it. She is unsatisfied.

“Use your words,” she demands.

Cardan swallows visibly, his hands gripping the bedsheets with enough force to rip them.

“Yes, my High Queen.”

His voice is bathed in thick honey, so rich and deep, and it wakes up something in Jude when she hears it. Knowing she’s the reason, that it’s because of her that he is so captivated, so aroused, she feels a power she never has before. She holds him in her palm like clay, and she intends on shaping him in a way no one else can.

She straddles him, pulling her nightgown the rest of the way up, but not bothering to remove it. Her hands pull on his shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it across the room. His skin glows under the moonlight that is now shining in their room, twilight finally ended. Other than the rings like always grace his hands, he is naked beneath her. Jude lives for it.

Jude’s eyes never leave Cardan’s as her hand finds his cock, holding it as she guides herself over him. She takes him slowly, closing her eyes as he fills her. Her head falls back on her neck and she loves this, loves him, can’t believe this is her life and her husband and everything else in between. Her heart is heavy and light all at once, hammering in her chest when she’s finally seated fully in his lap, completely full of him. 

Jude knows she is the High Queen but in this moment, it radiates through her. She is power reincarnated, a mighty Queen on her throne, an unstoppable force.

Cardan’s hands shake, the urge to grab her hips immense. Her breath is ragged, already so close to coming undone on top of him.

Jude moves her hips finally, rising and then falling. The slide, the pressure, it drives Jude wild. She moves slow but with intent, her hands roaming everywhere except her husband. She grabs her own breasts, her nipples, her hair. The silk of her nightgown torments her, so incredibly hot against her skin, and she wishes she had removed it but leaves it. Cardan moans and whimpers as she moves against him, his own hands trying to find purchase so he follows her rules and doesn’t touch.

Jude loses herself in the feel of him as she rocks against him and falls forward slightly, the angle changing, and Cardan forgets himself. His hands grip her hips tightly as he thrusts up to meet her, slamming into her.

Jude’s hands find her new dagger on the sheets immediately, the blade coming to rest against his pale throat. She stops bouncing on him, remains completely still as she looks into his eyes, a coldness there that she knows will turn Cardan into a puddle. His breathing is heavy, as is her own. His skin shines with sweat, his eyes are wide, and he looks at her with such an intensity, Jude almost wants to look away. Almost.

“I’m sorry my Queen,” Cardan whimpers, dropping his hands instantly.

“You know the rules,” she replies, moving the knife slightly so it digs into his skin. It isn’t enough to draw blood but his breath quickens anyway. It makes Jude’s skin heat up to watch him. “Touch me again, and there will be punishment.”

Jude begins moving again, the drag of his cock inside her making her dizzy with pleasure. She bites her lip as she rides him, keeping the dagger against his skin as she does. They both grow louder as she moves, Cardan’s own moans drowning out her own. They are a great and powerful symphony, the music of their voices bouncing off the walls as they engulf each other.

A fire begins building in her spine. She rides him in earnest, despite her thighs growing tired. Cardan’s hips start to buck involuntarily, his own release growing close. Jude leans down, the dagger still against his neck, as she captures his lips with her own. It’s messy, mostly clashing teeth and tongues. She continues to ride him with intensity, and she swallows his groan as it leaves his throat. 

Forgetting their rule, her demand, the reason her new knife is cradling Cardan’s throat, his thumb finds her clit. He rubs it roughly but precisely, stoking the embers building inside her. Jude can’t find it in herself to stop him, pleasure crashing over her like a tidal wave. Her mouth falls open in a silent scream as he touches her, pushing her over the edge.

Suddenly, like an explosion, like a firecracker, she comes undone.

“Come, Cardan,” she commands, her voice stripped and threatening to stutter, her hips faltering as she continues to ride him, her orgasm still rocking her.

He does, her name practically a scream as it leaves him. She doesn’t stop moving against him until he’s completely spent. Then, she falls against him, finally moving the dagger and tossing it to their nightstand. Her heart stammers in her chest, pleasure rolling off of her in waves. All the anxiety of the last day has finally left her, an ease falling over her.

Her head finds the crook of his neck and she spies the smallest amount of blood against Cardan’s glistening neck. In the height of their pleasure, she must have dug the knife too deep. Her tongue finds it, the coppery taste stinging her taste buds as she does. Cardan’s breath staggers as she does, so she slips her arms around his middle, pulling him in close.

“I’m sorry to make you bleed,” she says, kissing the spot that’s already begun to heal.

“It will be fine,” Cardan mutters. “It is not the first time, nor will it be the last.”

Jude looks up at him, pushes his damp, inky hair off his forehead, and smiles.

“I love you, Cardan.” It’s not a confession by now, but it makes her heart clench all the same. 

After all this time, she is unsure if it will ever be easy to say. Her love for him is powerful and unyielding, crashes into her like a hurricane at every available moment, and knocks her off her feet at the best of times. But even if it isn’t easy, it’s true, so she tells him.

“I am forever yours, my darling Jude.” 

Cardan pets her hair with one hand, the other drawing patterns in the skin of her arm, as they lie in the moonlight streaming through their curtains. They are quiet for a long while, Jude’s eyes finally beginning to get heavy, before Cardan speaks again.

“What will you name your new weapon, my love?” he asks.

Jude thinks on it, her mind moving slowly in her fog, before it comes to her.

She looks up at him, shifting so brown eyes can meet black, and she smiles at him brightly, sunshine in the middle of the night. 

“Heartseeker.”

[bonjour-rainycity]

Odin’s Ward ~ Chapter 2

Link to previous part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/629921660092514304/odins-ward-chapter-1

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word count: 2545

Warnings: None

Y/n: 8 // Loki: 10 // Thor: 14

Loki’s POV

“Come now, brother, surely you can do better than that!” Thor laughs and swings his sword in my direction.

I roll my eyes and parry, taking a few steps backwards as I do so. “You know well that this area of fighting is not my forte.”

“And it is my job as your older brother to remedy that.”

I swing towards him this time, a blow he blocks easily. “Then why do we pay the trainers so generously?”

Thor chuckles. “It shall be one of the first things I fix when I am king.”

My grip on the sword tightens. “Perhaps Father will choose me as his successor.”

Thor laughs heartily, as though the idea is preposterous. To him, it surely is. “Brother, you must understand. Father has every intention of picking me. I am the firstborn, I am known as the golden son, and I am the strongest of the two of us. I mean no offense, but surely you must see how I am the clear choice.”

Despite the lack of malice in his voice, I cannot stop the anger that rushes through me. I reset my stance and prepare to attack again with the sword.

“Forgive me for interrupting, Your Majesties, but I am afraid I am growing quite hungry. When do you propose we return indoors to take lunch?”

There’s a silence as Thor and I stare each other down, neither quite willing to give up on the coming fight. However, Lady Y/n is waiting for an answer and we both know it would be terribly rude to ignore her.

It’s so nice out, and I very much dislike the idea of wasting the day inside. So I suggest that we have our meal brought to us and eat here.

Having grown much more comfortable with us over the past months, Lady Y/n openly protests. “Here? Your Majesty, we are on the training grounds. Surely soldiers will come here soon to practice.”

I take her words into consideration and realize that she’s right. I think through an updated plan. “Very well, then. I know of a better place. Thor, Lady Y/n, return to your rooms and change into clothing suitable for a ride. Meet back here as soon as you can. I’ll take care of the preparations necessary for lunch.”

Thor grumbles at taking orders from his little brother, but Lady Y/n’s eyes sparkle with excitement. She turns and skips back inside. Thor follows with a little less enthusiasm.

{***}

About half an hour later, everything is set. The traveling party is bigger than I would have liked, but I suppose it is necessary to correctly adhere to protocol. Our party is made up of two kitchen servants, two guards, Nanny Idsol to attend to Lady Y/n, and Nanny Freydis for me. Thor was recently fortunate enough to graduate to a manservant (who is also accompanying us), but I must continue to put up with my insufferable nanny. Hopefully soon I will be rid of her. The thought makes me smile.

Each of us is to ride on a horse, with the exception of Lady Y/n and the nannies, who have a carriage. Upon hearing this, Lady Y/n frowns. “Your Graces, would it be possible for me to ride? I was used to doing so at home, and am sufficiently skilled.”

“Don’t argue with the princes,” Nanny Idsol intervenes.

“She’s not arguing.” Although I’m young, I know well how to infuse my voice and presence with authority. Nanny Idsol backs off immediately. “If you feel comfortable,” I continue, addressing only Lady Y/n, “you may certainly ride to our destination.”

She beams and curtsies her thanks. Thor sends his manservant to the stables to procure an additional horse, and soon we are on our way.

We traverse through the city and allow the people to praise us as we go. Lady Y/n looks a little uncomfortable with the attention, maybe even frightened, and I notice Thor ride closer to her, probably offering his protection. Lady Y/n frowns a little, straightens, and seems to force herself to seem more at ease. Interesting.

After about twenty minutes, we reach the edge of the main city which allows us access to the forest.

“Oh, Your Grace, what a wonderful idea,” Lady Y/n exclaims, and Thor nods in agreement. My heart soars at their approval.

Soon, we find the spot I had hoped for—a flat space nestled in the trees on the bank of a river—and the servants set up our picnic. When we eat, they give us our space, taking up residence a few hundred feet back. The guards, however, stay close to our sides. Can’t have the three most important children in the world be killed all at once, now can we?

“Lady Y/n, forgive my curiosity,” Thor starts during the second course, “but I seem to have forgotten the name and title of your father. Could you remind me?”

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. They told us this ten months ago when she arrived. Was he not paying attention?

Lady Y/n’s answer is polite, but I can tell she is tired of recounting this information. Truly, at least once a week, someone questions the reasoning for her presence. “He is Yoldstadt, former diplomat to Alfheim and now rules as Alfheim’s regent in your father’s absence.”

Thor’s gaze sets, and I can tell he his about to say something rash. “Lady Y/n, are you sure there is not something more you can remember? I am unable to see what conditions are strong enough to assure you a spot nearly equal to Asgardian royalty.”

I literally stop breathing.

I try to communicate with my eyes how much Mother will scold him for his comment should she find out. And I’ll make sure she finds out. How fun this will be for me!

Lady Y/n’s face contorts in what I presume to be embarrassment. Quickly though, I realize it’s in anger.

“I am sorry, Your Highness, that I am not important enough to share your environment. Please, give me the resources necessary and I will quickly remedy the issue. It would be silly to ignore the significant role excessive wealth plays in your upbringing. As far as the royalty part goes, while I may not have the blood, I can learn all I need from you! Where shall I start first? Consuming an entire boar by myself? Or expanding my muscles to rival the size of my head? No, I think I’ll start with cultivating an obscenely arrogant attitude! That should make me worthy of this life. Thank you, Your Majesty, for your invaluable council.” With that, she stands up to her full height of possibly four and a half feet, shakes out the skirt of her dress, and stomps to her horse.

Thor’s face turns a lovely shade of purple and makes into all sorts of fun shapes. I grin widely and can’t help but bounce in my place.

Thor speaks through gritted teeth. “That girl—”

“—is fantastic,” I finish, getting up and running after her. “Lady Y/n, would you allow me to accompany you back to the castle?”

She purses her lips, thinking. Finally, she nods, and I offer her my arm.

Y/n: 10 // Loki: 12 // Thor: 16

Y/n’s POV

“Lady Y/n, what are you reading?” Prince Loki’s voice travels to reach me from the other corner of the room. Deep in my book, I decide to answer him after I finish the paragraph. Without warning, I hold only air in my hands. The book begins to float!

“Hey!” I stand to reach for it, but it’s climbing higher and higher, until finally, it hits the ceiling.

I glare at a chuckling Prince Loki. “It’s rude to take other people’s things.”

He grins haughtily. “It’s rude to ignore your prince. What are you reading?”

I continue to glare at him. “I was reading a history novel, but now it’s on the ceiling.”

“Hmmm, I suppose it is.” He doesn’t try very hard to sound concerned.

“Your Highness—” my teeth clench in an attempt to restrain my anger. He’s only teasing, after all. Reacting badly would make me into the rude one, and I mostly know better.

A shield hits the ceiling strategically and knocks my book to the ground.

“There.” Lady Sif had paused her sparring match with Prince Thor to cause my book to fall back to me. I curtsy and smile gratefully, then rush to grab my book.

“Thank you, Lady Sif!”

“A-ha-ha!” Prince Thor’s booming laugh fills the room, and I can’t help but smile myself. “Brother, your magic has been thwarted by Lady Sif!”

Prince Loki rolls his eyes but otherwise ignores the jab. He begins to walk away. “Enjoy your book, Lady Y/n.”

“Although he showed it indelicately, Loki does have a point, Lady Y/n.” Thor ends his sparring match with a quick nod to Lady Sif. “It would do you well to move around a bit. In fact, come over here, I could use some help with my exercises.”

I know better than to argue with Prince Thor, but I find myself stifling a groan. I don’t want to help him with his exercises. I shuffle towards the center of the playroom.

“Got you!”

I shriek in surprise as Prince Thor picks me up and holds me high above his head, beginning to run around the room. My scream quickly turns to a laugh as delight runs through me. It’s like I’m flying! Lady Sif and Prince Loki cheer us on as Prince Thor continues his course, holding me above his head as he goes. I gain courage and extend my arms to the side as if I was a bird. I gasp and a yelp escapes me as the prince takes it upon himself to throw me high into the air. He catches me with ease, and I relax, once again enjoying myself. The cheers from my friends increase as Prince Thor continues the game. Soon, I’m laughing so hard that tears come into my eyes. I’ve never had this much fun!

As if sniffing out the impropriety, Nanny Idsol stalks into the room. “Children,” she scolds. “What is all this commotion about?”

My laughter dies as do the cheers as Prince Thor carefully puts me down.

I gulp and step forward. “Nanny Idsol, we were just playing—”

“Do not interrupt me, young miss,” she snaps, fury flying into her eyes. I look at the ground, properly embarrassed. “You know much better than to behave like this!”

“If I may, Nanny Idsol, the fault lies with me,” Prince Thor comes to my defense. “I began the game. Lady Y/n was truly just going along.”

Nanny Idsol’s face softens as she looks upon Asgard’s golden boy. “My dear prince, do not feel as if you must defend this insolent girl.” Her gaze snaps sharply to me before turning sweetly back to Prince Thor, though her voice remains hard. “I have taught her better, I am sure.”

“Evidently not,” Prince Loki scoffs under his breath. Everyone chooses to ignore him.

“As for you, young lady,” Nanny Idsol sneers, “it is time you learn to act as a young lady should. Beginning tomorrow, you will spend your mornings learning the art of embroidery.” She looks incredibly pleased with herself for having conjured up this new idea.

I do not look up from the ground. “Yes, Nanny Idsol.”

“Now, to your chambers! I think you have had quite enough excitement for this day.”

I don’t look back as I leave the room, but I can feel the eyes of my friends on me. How embarrassing.

{***}

An hour or so after the playroom incident, I hear a quiet knock at my door. Quickly drying my tears, I shuffle to open it. Prince Loki stands before me, an impish grin on his face.

“Your Highness, what—”

“Shh!” He cuts me off, grinning. “May I come in?”

Mutely, I step back and allow him to enter.

He assesses my chambers, still devoid of decoration besides the standard Asgardian design. “Lovely room. Could do with a bit more personality though.”

Still stunned by his presence here, I answer automatically. “I don’t have many personal items since my father sent me away so quickly.”

“Ah,” is his only response. Once he’s done glancing around my living space, he turns to look at me. Upon focusing on my face, he leans in and furrows his brow. “Have you been crying?”

“No,” I answer defiantly, loathe to admit to my tears.

He straightens and nods sharply. “Good. That dreadful woman isn’t worth crying over. I don’t know why Mother and Father continue to employ her. She’s just so unpleasant.”

“She is,” I agree emphatically before reminding myself that it is rude to speak badly of others. Even if they are mean old ladies.

Prince Loki takes a seat at one of the tables in my room and I’m drawn back to the situation at hand. “Your Highness, might I ask…how are you here? There are guards in the halls at all times and Nanny Idsol would be horrified to know that we are in each other’s presence unaccompanied.”

He grins, his eyes alight with mischief. “Don’t worry, Lady Y/n, no one will find out.” He leans forward conspiratorially. “I slipped by the guards quite easily due to this new teleportation spell I’m learning.”

“Teleportation?!” My eyes shoot open and I plop into the chair across from him, my excitement effectively erasing any notions of following protocol.

His expression turns smug. “Yep. I’ve been working on it for a few months, but it wasn’t ready to show you. But now…” His eyes light up again. “Would you like to see?”

“Absolutely!”

His smile widens and he grabs my hand, pulling me to the center of my room. He takes a place about three feet in front of me. “Ready? Don’t close your eyes.”

I nod and work hard to keep from blinking. He squeezes his own eyes shut, mutters something unintelligible, and within the next second, he’s gone. There’s a tap on my shoulder. I whirl around to find him standing nowhere near where he was a second ago, arms spread out wide as if saying ‘ta-da!’

“Oh, wow!” A delighted laugh bubbles from my mouth.

He walks back to the sitting portion of my room and I follow dutifully. “I can’t do it too often because it makes me tired,” he explains, slumping into a chair. “I just thought you ought to get to see it.”

I beam. “I’m so glad you decided to show me.”

“Mother says that as I get older and become better at magic, I won’t get as tired and I’ll be able to just think the spell rather than saying it aloud.” A wistful look crosses his face. “I can’t wait for then.”

I cross my arms over my knees, wanting to reassure my friend. “You’re going to be amazing, Prince Loki.”

Surprise colors his features. “What makes you say that?”

I shrug. “I just know.”

A/n Here’s chapter 2! Let me know what you think and if you would like to be added to the tag list :) I also have another Loki x Reader up called The Queen. You can find it on my page or on my masterlist! 

Link to next part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/630010330649706496/odins-ward-chapter-3

Tag list: @80strashbag @dark-night-sky-99 

[rayraywrites]

Title: Maybe things happen.

Chapter 6: Who holds Atlas up? (Day 6 - Faith/Doubt)

Characters: Sawamura Eijun, Kuramochi Youichi

Relationship: Sawamura Eijun x Kuramochi Youichi

Rating: General Audiences

Total Word Count: 2044

AO3

Event: @daiyarpwk2020​

He remembered hearing about how ostriches, when they felt scared, wouldn't run away but would stick their heads into the ground. As silly as that sounded it stuck with him. He had laughed then at the idea of being so detached from reality that the bird would rather pretend it was safe than face its fears or even run. At the time it had been a funny fact but the older he got, the more he felt for the ostrich, and the more he wanted to hide his head every day. To just imagine that the world was a better place and he was a better fit for the world. 

The weight on his shoulders grew.

He was accustomed to loss. To failure. It hurt each time, but it wasn’t new. The first time it meant more was the last time he played with his friends. The way they had fought so hard and yet he couldn’t bring them any higher than before. He had failed. The second time he had failed himself, watching as his pitch had curved just as it should have remained a straight pitch. Kataoka’s dismissal had felt like a sharp sting. And each time he would grow in some way it was always shadowed by how far he had to go. He got onto the second string, Furuya made it to first with ease. He made it to the first string, he had to watch his senpai fail. He tried to pitch a successful game, his use was only as the closer. He acknowledged how important the game was to his senpai, a dead ball. Then yips. 

It had ached when he watched Furuya receiving the ace number, but it had felt like knives had stabbed through his heart when he himself was given the ace number. The team still thought he was unreliable, otherwise their continued surprise when he succeeded wouldn’t have been there. Coach wouldn’t think to put him in only when Furuya began to fail. But he kept pushing, trying harder and harder to earn the title they’d bestowed upon his shaking shoulders. And the deeper he wanted to shove his head into the ground. His first game said it all, showing them the truth. He just kept trying and yet, it was Miyuki who accepted his failure when any time before he wouldn’t have been forgiven. Kataoka pulled him out, but there was understanding on his face. The pity hurt more. 

He pulled himself back together, forcing any lingering pain back until all he could see was the determination to succeed and to make his team proud. He had already failed two teams, he wouldn’t fail another.

He stood with shaking shoulders and pushed from the ground up until he was stable. But shaking shoulders still remained.

And still, there were days where he just wanted to hide himself. To tuck his head back under his pillow and pretend he was nothing but an average highschooler. Not an ace. Not a team player. Not even an athlete. Just a boy who was growing up. On those days he had to pull himself up to go for his run, slogging his way off his bed and out the door at the crack of dawn. Glancing back at Youichi, still fast asleep, would give him a burst of energy. At least enough to begin. 

On those days getting to practice was even harder because watching Miyuki finally agree to his demands to catch, all because he was the ace now and not because it was him, killed him. He managed to make his run because of habit and self-discipline but practice involved loudness and smiling. It meant he had to laugh at unfunny events, and to hold everything inside. 

Baseball meant he got to be in the bullpen pitching his heart out but it wasn’t free like it used to be in middle school. 

Now it was, “watch your foot Sawamura.” Or, “that would have been a ball, maybe a foul if you’re lucky.” A laugh and then, “strike. Such a strike. Are you even trying?” And it wasn’t like the comments were meant to hurt, rather to light his competitive spirit. But the compliments were so far and few that instead of help they only built up until he felt crushed. 

He was holding the world on his shoulders.

His team wasn’t malicious but the disregard for his happiness off the field, that hurt. Harucchi and him had been close, but his own mistakes had seemingly pushed the baseman away. Though they were teammates and friends, Furuya and he were rivals at their core; their relationship was jilted. His senpai would rather watch him mess around and say stupid things than genuinely talk to him. 

There was some respite though, and that came in the form of Kuramochi Youichi. Youichi had gone from roommate and reliable senpai to so much more within a short time. He didn’t know how much more he could handle without being able to escape to his room and hide in Youichi’s bed until his senpai returned. They played up the relationship they were supposed to have in front of their roommate but when alone, Youichi hugged him close, would card fingers through his hair and press gentle kisses to his wrinkled forehead. They still messed with each other and on the field they were the epitome of professionalism. Because this was baseball.

But he would have crumbled without Youichi. 

The Youichi who would wake up early to watch over his runs because the day would be hard on him. The Youichi who would buy an extra Pocari Sweat when he went to the vending machine without asking because he knew it was needed. The Youichi who made sure their room was empty on days before his tests so that he wouldn’t get distracted. And it was Youichi who kissed him goodnight every single day without avail, even if it was a distracted-by-video games kiss, it was never forgotten. 

He would have crumbled without Youichi.

––

The heavy sigh that left his mouth encapsulated every emotion he had gone through that day. Lying down on the bed, he wrapped his arms around a pillow, resisting the urge to press his face into it and scream. It had been a long day and he knew it still wasn’t over just yet. Practice had started well, in fact he’d woken up with a bounce to his step that hadn’t been there for quite some time. Pressing a swift kiss to Youichi’s forehead he’d bounded out the door for an exhilarating morning run. The smile Youichi had thrown at him during breakfast, quickly smothered under the usual morning tiredness had made him grin wide enough for Harucchi to comment. Practice began with him pitching to Miyuki in the bullpen, and even with all caustic comments, he had kept his head high and managed to even wrangle a compliment from the catcher. He continued on his high, head in the clouds as he walked over to the field for situationals. 

His shoulders began to shake then. The weight of the team’s expectations nestled safely in the gap between his shoulder blades began to press down with one simple mistake. One missed ball for a pick-off and the opposing runner got on base, and then the 3rd-base runner made it home because he was distracted and sent a meatball. Normal things that happened occasionally in practice. His teammates didn’t comment, even Kataoka only told him to focus and move on. And yet the derisive comments of the alumni sitting in the stands and the second-stringers who were vying for every chance to progress managed to get under his skin. 

“This is the Ace pitcher? Pretty shoddy results really.” A smothered snort, “Sawamura has always been loud but it seems that volume doesn’t equate to results.” Another, “I can’t believe coach decided he was the one who deserves to be Ace. I just don’t get it.”

He heard the scoffs of his teammates who clearly disagreed with their words, and the way Kataoka’s glare at the stands managed to get even more frigid. And yet it shook him. He managed a shaky breath and continued practice. He pushed all the anxiety down into the well inside his chest until he could no longer feel it. 

But he had felt Youichi’s gaze on the side of his head. 

At the end of practice he managed to escape the offers of hanging out with excuses of homework and a headache from lack of sleep. He forced laughter out when Zono’s motherly chiding began and smiled weakly as Harucchi shot a concerned look at him. He managed to muster enough strength to laugh loudly, hands on his hips as he called out to Miyuki. “Miyuki, catch for me later!” Luckily the demand worked as the distraction he needed with Miyuki vehemently refusing, as he had already pitched close to his limit during practice. He still complained, trying to draw out five or ten extra pitches, but the catcher held strong. The team, seeing that he was behaving normally was satisfied and let him be. Making his way to his room, he had grabbed his shower kit and quickly headed to the baths. Luckily he was alone for the moment, so washing quickly he went back to his room. 

Now he was back to the present, eyes locked firmly with the slats of the upper bunk as he sighed to himself again. He only vaguely registered the door opening, but when the end of the bed sank from additional weight he glanced over. Youichi sat at the end with a steely glare on his face. Sighing again, he went to turn away but a hand on his calf stopped him. 

“Eijun, I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.” Youichi’s voice was a whisper but it carried well in the small room. Groaning, he sat up and leaned in towards Youichi. Pressing his face into the other’s shoulder, his reply came out muffled.

“I didn’t mean for their words to...” he struggled to come up with a word that explained all the feelings that had rushed through his chest when he heard them.

“Sink so deep into your chest that it feels like your heart is being ripped apart by sharp nails?” Youichi’s words were dry and amused even though his body was tense. But the words themselves were surprising so he pulled back to stare, eyebrows pulled up questioningly.

“So I read sometimes, sue me!” 

The joking words and wicked grin on Youichi’s face made him break, and he began laughing, pressing in even closer and resting his head on the other’s shoulder. The laughter eventually led to painful sobs that wracked his tired body. And through it all Youichi only held him close, arms wrapping around his body and kisses pressed to his forehead. As his sobs began to slowly stem he began to hear the soothing words Youichi was muttering into his hair.

“None of what they said was true Eijun. I’m so incredibly proud of you, and I know the team is as well. These are just bumps on the road, the road you’re following all the way to victory.”

Eventually he caught his breath and the sobs stopped. Pulling back, he scrubbed at his face rapidly before resting his hands in his lap. Looking at Youichi between soaked eyelashes he spoke softly. “Hi.” Youichi cupped his cheeks, leaning in close to press their foreheads together. He blushed brightly as he felt the breath on his lips. He waited, unsure what Youichi would say or do next. But all that happened was Youichi dropping his hands, pulling away and flicking a finger at his forehead.

“Moron. You honestly think any of us would put up with you if we didn’t want you? You. Are. Wanted.” The words were punctuated with a poke on the cheek, pulling a soft smile to his face. He nodded and kissed Youichi’s cheek. Now they were both blushing.

Success!

–– 

It was okay if he broke down, if the weight on his shoulders got too much, if he wanted to run away. He wasn’t alone. There was someone to hold him up.

[kurtty-drabbles]

Justicar Verse au (part 4)

N/A: Ok. Let´s make this. Uhm, Kitty is an omega, and no, she doesn´t need to have a sad background or anything like that. I was debating if this would make her like Pink Diamond or not...but, if Meggan is in the group and no one is making a fuss and if Yana, evil baby, is there...Kitty being an omega shouldn´t be a problem.

@dannybagpipesarecalling @djinmer4 @bamfoftheundead @everykurt @muninandhugin

2 years before the main plot begins.

Kitty´s dress.

"And soon the Justicars will be officially the police force of tomorrow" someone´s delightfully tone reaches Kitty´s ear in this large party with an increasing number of patrons - some are from delegations of each important European´s countries and Asians as well and Kitty spot the representant of Wakanda- and Kitty is walking distancing herself of those loudly shouting the victory of Justicar. Her blue dress showing her naked back and is different from the hostess´s dress, Betsy Braddock, who is wearing something purple and being a social butterfly.

Why am I here?

This keeps lingering in her mind until someone draws her attention and her doe eyes travel to the strange in a suit with golden eyes-many mutants can have golden eyes, but, only he can have golden eyes and this winning smile-and smiles at Kitty Pryde in a flattering way. "is a lovely night for such beautiful woman to be sighing and looking so doubtful of herself" his tone is smooth and Kitty´s eyes snap open for a second and then relax.

"Oh, your eyes caught me...I wish I could share the enthusiasm everyone feels about the Justicars" she offers nicely. Kurt Wagner- no need to introductions but it was offered anyway- is amused as no one shares any doubt with the Justicars with him.

"If the Justicars are the law...what would regulate them? Good faith?" her tone is a bit dry and she speaks in a sotto tone. "Power doesn´t corrupt. Power reveals absolutely...and Justicars seem to have a biased against beta mutants" she concludes as Kurt nods sagely and grins at this line.

"I agree, power can reveal...but, Miss Pryde, what the Justicars what...is something quite simple. All we want is to protect mutants and humans" and Kurt notices her stares and titled his head. "You don´t trust us..."

Kitty arch one eyebrow. "I want to be wrong and the Justicars to be a nice group to protect everyone...but, after what happened to StrongMan...I have my reservations...and you, Kurt Wagner? Do you truly have blind faith in Justicars?" she offers this question and Kurt didn´t reply as his smile drop for a moment.

"What happened to StrongMan was a ...horrible thing. A horrible accident and one that won´t repeat" Kurt promises and to prove such conviction he asked Kitty to dance. The woman accepts as she whispers in his ear.

"If this happens again...someone ought to do something, don´t you think?" Kitty replied and adds "after all if one born with mutation...should be only the person to decide if they want to be cured or not? I think so" and the music changes for a slow pace and Kurt is waltzing Kitty masterfully as Kitty can feel his mishappen hands on her naked back.

Is soft like a velvet...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Present

The Justicars are noticed the absence of Brian Braddock and no one is reacting to such implications of this new well- Psylocke is using all her powers to locate her brother and so far nothing- and Justicar Cadbury looks at his supervisor waiting for her signal. So far, nothing. "Bull, what should we do?" and Bull rolls her eyes at this.

"Not give importance to our leader being a sis-con. Look, Brian is a grown-up. Maybe he found a nice woman and is spending time with her and lost track of time...it happens with the best of us. It happened with you...and me, so...let´s give time and Brian will show up here talking about this pretty bird he meets" Bull assured Kurt and the others.

Kurt is not so sure.

And when a call from the higher office gives a piece of disastrous news regarding something Bull is not sharing with Kurt- he caught words like ''prisoners", "escaped" and "damn creatures"- makes Kurt Cadbury sure Brian´s disappearance is not due to a pretty lady.

"Cadbury...Can I trust you with a secret?" she asked and Kurt can only nod solemnly. "Do you know about prison X?"

"It was a myth..." and Bull shakes her head. Courtney Ross almost laughs at his reply and Kurt is not taking this reaction as a joke.

"No, Prison X is real...very real, and it was there where we put all the magical creatures...and someone released the creatures" Courtney explains.

"Creatures?"

"Yeah...those who are useless to this new World...we need to figure out who would release the animals as that" Courtney explains and Kurt takes one step back. If she was talking about animals- and he would know as Courtney Ross manages to vibe with snakes - it would be one thing, but, it isn´t necessary to be a genius to know her line is not referring to animals.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

"What we do now, Shadowcat?" Meggan inquires firmly - no one dares to mention her hands are quivering a little- and her face resembles more of a monster than a pretty woman. "Can we really win this war?"

And this is a question U Go Girl mostly asks and everyone else- aside from the obvious if nature committed a mistake and maybe the cure is indeed a cure- and Kitty slams her fist on her desk causing every murmours to come to a halt.

"When I formed this group...I never had the notion we could solve this with hopes and smiles, I knew it would lead to a war...and we would stain our hands with blood. I had, you all had...and right now, we must ask ourselves "am I willing to kill one last time? Am I ready to kill to protect the others?" because this will be the last battle and we´ll win or die trying" Kitty states boastfully enacting the others to make their own decisions.

Meggan gazes at Brian for a moment- Meggan has killed before...can she kill Brian? It feels different than the last times...-and back to Kitty. "We´re too deep...I´ll continue" and others follow suit.

Yana, the precious demon child she is, interjected with her saccharine voice never matching the hell in her eyes. "The fight will be bloody. I can use my eyes to see the outcome...but, if the worst comes to be" she looks to no one specific. "I can cast one of my spells and if I do this...everyone should pray to God" Yana gives her devious grin and the others gulp.

What´s worse? Wanda Maximoff casting a spell letting the rage flow in her veins or Yana cast THAT spell?

Kitty´s eyes show no weakness and are long gone the days where she was a mere teacher- it all begins with the formation of Justicars and it will end with their destruction- "Betsy is not the Queen of the world ...yet, she needs to be on that tower to amplify her powers..." and Meggan pipes in the conversation. "She´s not a real omega. According to ..." she can´t say his name and doesn´t want to linger on what the past meant for Brian and herself. "Captain Britain tells the truth...she´s not a real omega and neither is he" she revels.

"Then...he´s useless to us..." someone says. "We should kill him" and Meggan protest violently against this idea and Kitty agrees with Meggan´s actions. Brian can be valuable later...

"We need to destroy the tower...and sure, the security will be tight around, but, we can do it" and she smiles as she shows her plan. "In the end, we need them!"

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Prison is never designed to be a fun place, that´s a given, moreover, a prison named "Prison X" certainly is self-explanatory and Kurt Cadbury can see the divergence between the pamphlet in his hand and reality. "I thought...those are facility to rehabilitation" he mutters softly and Bull cracks some jokes about his naivety. "Don´t be silly, Kurt...plus, we´ve got a big problem to solve..." Courtney Ross looks at the empty cellars. "Where are the creatures?"

And all Kurt can think is the words Kitty Pryde throws at him 2 years ago.

What would regulate the Justicars?

________________________________________________________________________________________

"Revolution is here, my brother" Wanda speaks as she stops meditating and lets her feet touch the floor. Pietro nods and looks at TV who is offering a tribute to Magneto and Prof X. "What should we feel about the man we never had the chance to call father?"

"We show him the same courtesy he offers to us...our silence"

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One:  The Dark Curse

Chapter 123:  A Delicate Negotiation

Who did he know who had taught Regina to use black birds to carry messages? Who might Regina have accidentally told he had a maid around his castle? Who did he know who had a friend that might be able to easily obtain a sand dollar? Who knew a woman that might be able to force a shifter boy in animal form into his property to lure away a gullible woman? Who would have a bone to pick with him? Who knew magic and wouldn't mind torturing the Gauntlet out of the same young woman she'd kidnapped and would do something stupid like demand the Gauntlet in a half-assed ransom plan?

Maleficent.

Ursula.

Cruella.

He didn't particularly care for the situation they'd placed him in, Belle for the Gauntlet, but by the time he'd returned home and thought of an alternative plan, he was out of time to do anything more than execute that plan. He didn't like it, it was untested, and there was a very real chance that he might not succeed, but thinking of it as one great experiment helped. He wasn't going to pay a ransom for Belle, and he especially wasn't going because he "liked her", as Regina had so childishly accused him of. He was going in order to see an experiment through. If it worked, excellent. If it failed…well he'd only had the Gauntlet for a short time, and he couldn't even work the damn thing. He supposed he couldn't miss what he'd never had. Belle's tea cakes, on the other hand…he might miss those. Besides, though he could see the future, he didn't have time to sit down and meditate on it right now, which meant that for him, the outcome was uncertain. He was a smart man, an experienced dealmaker, trading the Gauntlet wasn't written in stone, for all he knew he could figure a way out of this that included Belle and the Gauntlet.

It wasn't midnight when he finally grabbed the Gauntlet and went to Demon's Bluff, but it was close enough. He couldn't have waited any longer even if he'd wanted to. The thought of Belle at the mercy of those three demons, and the potential to gain an advantage, was too much to resist.

Demon's Bluff was a rocky, dangerous place. It was almost always slippery. The rocks and their height in the sea depended upon the tides. He had a strong suspicion that when high tide came in, this part of the bluff would be underwater, but he couldn't be sure. He'd only ever been once before, and that was when he'd tried to con Ursula into taking him across realms and attempted to steal her trident. The tide had been lower then, but it had been just as dark. Now, he listened as waves crashed around him. To the naked eye, the area around him seemed empty and desolate, but he knew better. Magic was in the air, the kind of Dark Magic he'd encountered plenty of times when he came across Maleficent. Ahead of him was a cave. If he had to guess, they were hiding out, waiting for him. Had he been alone, he would have gone inside. But he wasn't sure where Belle was. He didn't know how they were holding her, her condition, if she'd be fit to move, or if they'd cast a spell that prevented him from taking her. He'd have to play by their rules. For now…

"I have what you want, dearie!" he cried at the top of his lungs. "Now, show yourself!"

He expected to see Maleficent, he figured they'd start with their strongest player and then bring the weakest out holding a knife or some other kind of weapon to Belle's throat. He didn't expect to see his maid come staggering out of the cave first, hands bound with rope so thick she couldn't move them. She looked fine. Perhaps a little upset, but there appeared to be no split lip, no cuts or blood, no black eyes. It was just the look on her face that held his concentration. He'd never seen her scared before.

"Rumple!" she called out. "Help!"

His breath caught, he was a step away from walking over, seizing her up, and carrying her off to the castle. But he was too slow. Before he could take that step and save her, he felt a burst of magic pulsing around her. There was a trap laid around her so that he couldn't do just that. And then…a voice.

"Yes, Rumpelstiltskin! You help her!"

Maleficent's voice carried around the rocks and over the crash of the waves. It was everywhere all at once, a simple, cheap spell. And then there they were an unkindness of black birds that he could see now, up close, were in fact ravens. They were where the voice had come from. Apparently, someone had been practicing a shapeshifting spell.

"Maleficent!" he yelled, a voice he'd only reserved for Baelfire when he was playing games and not being nearly as serious as he'd wanted him to be. She took it to heart; a moment later the ravens formed into the body of a woman and there she was, the dragon herself. He could kill her for all this. In fact, he still wasn't past killing her if necessary, it would certainly take whatever spell she'd placed on Belle away and allow him to leave with her. But he'd learned in his time not to be rash and considering he was certain there were still two more people about that he hadn't seen yet, a decision like that seemed the definition of "rash".

"Oh! I am impressed!" he smiled giddily, waving his hands in the air like a silly excited child. He loved putting people at ease before he killed them. "Didn't think you had it in you!"

"I'm not here for your praise," Maleficent stated coolly. "Give me the Gauntlet, and you can have your wench back."

Wench. Something about that word twisted his stomach. Maybe because it was what that sick sheriff had called Belle when he tried to make a deal as well, but he felt a bit of his control ebb at that word. She was not "his wench" not in any way Maleficent or the sheriff or even Regina thought! But, furthermore, the only one allowed to call her such things, would be him.

"Well…seeing as how you asked so nicely!" He let his magic loose and watched with delight as Maleficent was thrown into the night sky, hoisted higher and higher by her throat. He rejoiced with every last gag and choke that made it's way from her mouth to his ears. It was as sweet as a nightingale's song. "You think you can steal from the Dark One and live?" he questioned menacingly. "Fatal mistake, dearie! Any last words?"

There was a pause as the woman gathered her breath. "I'm…not…alone," she finally whispered, somehow managing a raspy and cold chuckle.

It was a good reminder. He'd never assumed she was alone, but if he'd gone much farther he might have forgotten. His back was to the ocean. Ordinarily that was a good thing, but considering one of her number was Ursula…

"The Sea Witch!"

And there she was, right on cue, not behind him, but in front of him. She walked out of the cave, but he could hardly focus on her as he watched one tentacle wrap around Belle's neck, instantly turning her face red. In another second, one encircled her waist as well. That was bad. Now not only was Maleficent's spell protecting her, so was Ursula. He felt dread wash over him as he fought to keep himself collected before their eyes, but he couldn't help but feel that he had lost his opportunity. He could have killed Maleficent and whisked Belle away in a flash before the duo knew what had happened. He should have done that. Now he could kill one, but she would still be trapped. He was trying to think of something, but Belle had gone silent as Ursula held her, and every second felt like he was closer to releasing the Gauntlet to them.

"Such a pretty thing! Seems a shame I'll have to crack her pipes!" Ursula taunted in a low, threatening voice.

"Harm one hair on her head…Maleficent burns!" he threatened right back. He was making a bet, a good bet, but a bet all the same. They'd stayed together after he'd brought them together he had to assume the pair meant something to one another. Or should he say the trio…

"Then Ursula will kill your maid and…and where will that leave us?" Cruella questioned, emerging from the darkness with a slow stagger so much different than Belle's powerless one.

"Cruella! Thought I caught a whiff of desperation and gin!" he squealed as if he were happy to see her when really she was the last person on earth he'd ever expected to come into contact with. Frankly, he was shocked to see any of them. He knew they'd survived Bald Mountain, but he'd thought his defenses were good enough he'd never have to endure something like this again. He hated to curse children, but if it weren't for that damn pup…!

"I must say I'm surprised to see you all here. Last time we crossed, it looked like things weren't going your way! And…unless you hand back my maid, they won't be this time either!"

"Shall I get you a step stool so you can look in my eyes when you threaten me?!" Cruella snapped with the look of a tiger about to pounce in her eyes. It was funny, she was the least magic out of the three, if she thought she could scare him, then she had another thing coming. He might have laughed, if Belle wasn't still so clearly struggling.

"I don't need to threaten you, dearie. It took three of you to get this far, and I promise it isn't far enough!"

"Have it your way!" Cruella commented with a small shrug. "Ursula, darling, crush the maid's heart!"

His eyes immediately went to Belle, and he felt a jolt rush through his body. He could see that Cruella wasn't bluffing and Ursula wasn't joking around. Her tentacles tightened over her waist as well as her neck. And Belle…she'd been struggling until now, twisting and turning her wrists as if she could loosen the knots, standing up straight as Ursula forced her to. He'd thought, up until that moment that her face had been red, now knew it was only pink. That color, right there, that was red. Red to purple, it was only a matter of time until it went blue. Blue was bad. After blue came white…and not the pale she usually was. The colors of her face reminded him of just how wrong Cruella had been. Ursula didn't need to crush her heart, just her windpipe.

Strangulation. That could be quick, but not very enjoyable. He should know, he'd done it to a number of his own victims, just as he was doing it now to Maleficent. For Belle to experience it…

Her eyes watched him. First, they were pleading, but he could see her begin to fade out. Soon her vision would bubble and then blacken and then she'd pass out and if the witch kept it up she'd never wake up again. He moved his eyes from her to Ursula to Cruella, hoping to see her watching her, hoping to see a bit of sympathy, to see that she was going to hold off and loosen her grip so she could make him another offer. But he saw none of that. Just determination in their eyes…and nearly nothing in Belle's.

It was up to him. He couldn't summon her away, and he couldn't kill Maleficent. In the time it took to remove the spell from Maleficent and kill Ursula, they'd have Belle again, and this time she'd be weak. They'd planned well, but not as well as him.

He didn't want to hand the Gauntlet over, he didn't want to be perceived as weak to them not even for the few hours he would be. But it was clear to him that he had no choice. Belle had maybe only a few seconds. He had a plan; he just needed to stick to it. He had to trust is magic. By the end of the night, the Gauntlet would be right back in his possession and hopefully, in a few seconds, so would Belle.

He grit his teeth together as he tossed the Gauntlet to Cruella as he released Maleficent from his death grip, giving in to their requests. He looked right away to Belle and immediately saw the Sea Witch loosen her grip on her neck. Her heard a choked gasp come from her, it was small, but enough to make him want to sigh with relief. She was getting air again. That was something.

He turned to the three women. When this was over, and he had the Gauntlet back, they were going to die. They knew him well enough to know that. Why they would even do try to make him angry…

"That was a risky endeavor for an old glove, dearies."

"Well, the risk was worth it…for too long we've lived in a world where the heroes always win!" Ursula declared.

"And the Gauntlet will reveal our enemy's weaknesses, and we will be the victors," Cruella added.

He wanted to roll his eyes. This old thing…that was the argument he'd used with them to get his curse. After he'd left them there for dead, they didn't still think he'd been serious, did they?

"Let her go!" Maleficent commanded before he could ask her.

One second Belle was far from him, struggling with her wrists and her breathing, the next moment Ursula had let her go and shoved her toward the cliff. She stumbled, losing her footing, she would have fallen had he not lunged forward and caught her.

They were clever, her captors. At that moment, when he was too busy getting Belle to stand, that was when Maleficent let her magic swell and carry the three of them away, back to her castle, if he had to guess. That was fine. He'd summon them back. But only once he was sure Belle was safe again.

He'd caught her, but she was still struggling. Her legs were shaking, they were so weak he could feel her faltering. Her hands were still bound and she leaned into him, into the hands that were keeping her propped up, to compensate. And her breathing...it was rough. She was inhaling, it was deep and fast, and if she didn't calm down soon, she was going to pass out from getting too much air.

"Wh-why would you do that?" she questioned, looking at him with bleary eyes. Talking. Her voice was breathless, no doubt her threat would soon swell from where she'd been strangled. She was still in danger, and she needed not to speak until he could heal her properly. "I…I mean with that object you…"

"They won't be able to harm you," he insisted. That was true whether he got the Gauntlet back or not. He was going to take her back home, heal her wounds, see her to sleep, and make sure nothing like this ever happened again. If that meant he needed to kill them, then so be it.

"Why do you care about me?"

Now it was him who didn't breathe. She was staring up at him, looking perhaps the most miserable and pathetic that he'd ever seen her look. The ocean was raging behind him, but for just a second, as he looked back into her gaze, the world went oddly quiet, as if it was waiting for an answer just as she was. Why did he care about her?

"I don't!" he stated, forcing himself to let go of her, though the second she began to stumble again he wanted only to grab her once more. It wasn't because he cared. It was instinct, something gentlemanly still left within him, something that he needed to squash. Promptly. And the idea that he cared about her was one that he needed to crush from her head right now. This hadn't been to save her. It was an experiment. He was just making sure that all his collection was in order. "But if anyone's going to crush your heart…it's gonna be me!"

"But you won't!" she shook her head. He could tell that she'd meant for the words to be nearly as insistent as his were, but instead they'd come out gravely, with only a breath. They'd done damage to her. If he didn't heal her soon then her throat might swell shut. "You won't…"

She made a move suddenly, as if to take a step closer to him, but she lost her footing again, her legs fell out from under her and she would have crashed to the ground if he hadn't reached out and caught her again. She was in bad shape, and she wanted to stand here and discuss his motivation for why he'd done this?! At this rate, he wouldn't need to crush her heart, she'd end up doing it all by herself.

He rolled his eyes and pulled her closer against his chest to stabilize her. "If you don't kill yourself first," he muttered as he let the magic take them home.

[growingstronglikeahighgardenrose]

The Bear and the Maiden Fair

12 Days of Sanditon: Roaring Fire/ Sleep in heavenly peace

Pairing: Esther Denham/Lord Babington

Synopsis: It was the middle of Winter when someone knocked on Esther's cabin in the middle of the woods. The humans of the village had persecuted her for Witchcraft years ago, who would come looking for her? It turned out it wasn't a who, but rather a what: a bear, all black and brown and covered with hair. OR: the one in which Lord Babington is a cursed bear looking for shelter. Fairytale inspired on Rosered and Rosewhite.

Available on AO3

It were times like these when Esther’s need for company was at its highest.

When the wind was howling so loudly not even the sound of the enchanted violin and piano could drown it out.

When her house creaked louder than the roaring fire crackled.

It was her third year out here in the woods, and by now she’d gotten used to the sounds of the woods, the nights used to scare her to a point where she couldn’t sleep until she was utterly exhausted. She’d grown up with scary stories about the woods: monster, goblins, fairies, wild beasts and murderers were known to plague the woods. Though she’d managed to convince herself that half of those threats were fairytales, she knew that the beastly and human predators in the woods were very real. She’d encountered a murdered body, and she’d had to run away from a pack of wolves as well. The stories didn’t keep her up at night anymore, but those memories certainly did.

On a rational level, she knew not to fear. Her house, and the small garden around it, were protected with at least six spells. No humans could get past it. And no animals meaning harm could either. Her spells left enough room for innocent animals to come up to her house.

She liked seeing bunnies hop through her garden, even if they stole her slaw, and she once had a deer walk in during summer. The deer seemingly sensed that it had nothing to fear from her. It had been the first substantial living thing she’d held in years. Prior to that, she’d only hugged and stroked some mice and rabbits, and the chickens. She’d also taken care of a bird with a broken wing once, but birds were hyperactive creatures, they disagreed with her own nature.

Perhaps she should try venturing to the town border and catch a cat. She would love to have a permanent pet. A cat would suit her just right, she’d had one prior to living here.

Wonder if she’s still alive, poor thing was left to Edward’s care.

She took the ladle out of the cauldron filled with water, and poured some hot water in her empty mug. With a flick of her hands, the pot with tea herbs came floating towards her. She added a good amount of leaves to the hot water and sent the pot back to where it came from.

She’d always been a mediocre witch, a taint on the Denham line according to her aunt.

If she only knew. I bet I can do more now, than she ever could. I simply needed the practice. Nothing like absolute boredom to finally take the time to learn magic.

After Edward had ratted out her and Clara, so that he would be the only one receiving Lady Denham’s inheritance, she’d managed to free herself with her magic by sheer luck. Since witchcraft was forbidden, and she’d quite hated being one, she’d always supressed that side of her. But, as she was locked away awaiting her witch trial, the combination of the panic and the wish to live, she’d called on some kind of instinctive magic which had destroyed her restraints. She’d fled, taking all of Lady Denham’s books on witchcraft, and all the clothes she could carry.

She’d been walking through the woods for two days by the time she stumbled upon the old woodsman cabin, it hadn’t been inhabited in a decade and had been barred shut to protect it from rogues and animals. With the same instinctive magic, she managed to get the layers of wood shielding the door and windows away. The house was sturdy and the furniture had still been present.

After mastering a couple of practical spells, she’d returned to the town in the dead of night to steal more of her belongings and some practical necessities. But she tried to keep her visits to a minimum. With every visit she risked exposing herself.

She stared at her three meagre bookshelves. She’d read everything at least twice, and some even more than twenty times.

‘If only there was a spell to magically produce an interesting book.’

She eyed the periwinkle blue and wine bottle green book on the second shelf.

She felt like reading a tale set in Winter. ‘Andersen or Grimm?’

She’d taken to talking to herself out loud as a means to kill the silence. She’d never gone without talking for a day. She just couldn’t bear it. She sang as she cleaned, she hummed as she made dinner, she mumbled as she practiced the hand movements for spells and she cursed herself for screwing up certain spells. In many ways, life in the woods had killed her awkwardness and shyness. In the village she’d always been quiet, rarely talking, and rarely making a decision, she’d left it all to Edward. She didn’t feel the same inhibitions in the woods, she found she enjoyed talking and singing, and she’d made every decision ever since. Now of course, you could ask the question how much of her shyness had actually gone away, since she never interacted with another human being since, Esther asked herself the exact same question from time to time, but there was no doubt to the fact that she felt more comfortable in her own skin.

‘Too moody, Grimm it is’, she decided. With a move of her pinky and index finger, the book started floating towards her.

However, it was surrendered to the gravitational forces when a knock on the door startled Esther. The book collided with the wood log table, and sent her cup of tea toppling over.

Impossible.

Knock knock.

Esther rose slowly.

Was someone actually knocking on the door? Humans couldn’t get past the fence. She took the poke from the fire.

The sound returned.

  It sounded blunter than a knock. Like something soft and heavy bumping against it.

A wounded animal perhaps?

Mindful to stay away from the windows, she moved towards the door.

She waited for the sound, three inches removed from the door.

Something knocked against the door again.

Whatever produced the noise wasn’t about to give up.

‘Come on Esther, it speaks volumes that not a single person has managed to get to your door in these three years. It has to be an animal, and a well intending one at that. Have some faith in your own spells. Damn it, are you a Denham witch or not?’

She took a deep breath and reached for the handle, slowly turning it over and opening the door a couple of inches.

Nothing could have prepared her for what was on the other side.

She shrieked, slamming the door shut as fast as she could.

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

  A bear.

A very big,

very brown,

very tall bear.

The bear scratched against the door, making a pitiful sound.

She wasn’t going to start feeling guilty for keeping out bears now, was she? Having a deer in her house was one thing, but a bear?

The bear seemed to make a sound close to moaning, a deep, bearly moan that was.

‘It’s not going to harm you, it’s gotten past your defences. It isn’t even scratching your door. Come on, it’s probably hurt. You can always immobilize it with a spell if anything happens… it’s still a bear though… A bear caught in a blizzard.’

She looked outside the window. It had been snowing for three consecutive days. She couldn’t see the ground or even the green of the trees anymore. All was white. It was freezing. And this bear was out in that horrible snow storm.

‘Aren’t they supposed to hibernate? They’re not made for walking around in the snow.’

That was it. She wouldn’t allow some silly unfounded fear of hers to lead to the potential death of an animal. She was intended to be a friend to the animal kingdom.

She opened her door again.

The bear was still there.

‘Alright, come in but please don’t kill me’, she squeaked as she pulled the door open as far as it could go.

The bear came in. Its coat was completely covered with clumps of snow, and it had visible difficulty walking.

She closed the door and looked at the creature. It was bigger than any living thing she’d seen before, yet it still fit inside her small home. He was higher than a table, and longer than she, but not by much, a foot at most.

It had to be close to freezing to death, with all that snow caked in its fur. He was very lucky to stumble upon her house. She doubted he would’ve made it much farther, judging by how skinny he was and how slow his movements were.

She pushed aside the log table and her comfortable chair.

‘Come lie in front of the fireplace, so that the snow might melt.’

The bear all but collapsed near the fire, a last soft sound escaping from its mouth.

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

 She stared in shock as her house became silent again. Her instruments had stopped the second she heard his knocking, and now that the bear had fallen down, there was only the sound of the wind and the fire.

Had he died?

‘Bear? Bear?’ She gently pushed him with her foot. Its eyes blinked.

Alright, he was alive.

‘Let’s get you warmed up.’

She took her brush, and started bristling his fur. The clumps of snow had hardened into ice. It was hard to get out, but she was determined to get the cold clumps off his body.

As she worked on his fur, she found her heartbeat calming down. The initial sight of him had scared her, but her fear slowly melted as he lay there on her carpet like an oversized cat, undergoing her ministrations.

‘I think I’m getting it all out. I wonder if you’re warm enough though. I would offer a human some hot food or a hot drink but I doubt you’d be able to consume that.’

Of course, the bear couldn’t answer since it was a bear. So Esther was left frustrated as she tried to figure out the next step.

Deciding that staring at him until she found out what he needed wasn’t useful either, she picked up her empty cup of water, filled it again, and sat down in her chair to continue her reading.

She didn’t know for how long she’d been reading, when suddenly the bear stood and turned, before lying down again. It was facing her now.

She frowned at the bear. Why did it do that?

Was it because its position had become uncomfortable? At least it was a sign the bear still had some life. It could be a sign that it was getting better after its dangerous adventure in the blizzard.

It wasn’t attacking her, that was a good sign at least.

Instead, it seemed interested in her. Its eyes were more alert now, and to her shock she noticed that his eyes were an odd shade of green with flecks of blue and grey.

Was that normal?

  ‘Hey there’, she said in an attempt at kindness.

She felt a lot sillier talking to this creature than she normally did while talking to an animal.

Nothing silly about it, it can’t understand you and it won’t judge you for speaking either, just like those mice and bunnies.

The bear blinked at her and she returned to her reading, going back to reading out loud.

By the time she’d finished her tale and looked back at the bear over the top of her book, it had closed its eyes.

‘Alright, you sleep by the fire’, she sighed before stretching and yawning.

The bear opened its eyes again, as if it understood that it was being addressed. No, that couldn’t be.

She was starting to get so desperate for company she actually started imagining the animals listening and reacting to her.

‘I’m going to go to bed. Don’t do the animal thing okay, I don’t want to clean bear dung from my floorboards. Try holding it until tomorrow morning.’

The bear’s head moved.

No, it couldn’t understand her, could it?

‘Goodnight.’

‘Nnnnaam.’

Esther had to laugh, its bear noise almost sounded like ‘night’, but that couldn’t be. She blew out all the candles. Only the light of the fire now illuminated the giant figure in front of the fire.

‘Okay, see you tomorrow.’

She opened the door to her bedroom and closed it after her. She shook her head with a smile. A bear in her house, which almost seemed to respond to her talking, it really couldn’t get much crazier than that. As she crawled into her bed, she wondered what happened once something stepped foot on her property. Animals with good intentions could, but what if they suddenly turned violent, would her protective spells make the animal disappear? Or would it be able to attack her since it had already passed the wards?

She eyed the door, her heartbeat picking up again. The bear hadn’t given her any reason to fear it, but it was still a wild animal. In the end she cast a light spell on her door so that only she could pass it, after that she fell into a peaceful sleep.

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

   She had to admit her brain hadn’t been working when she woke up the next morning. Because she got out of bed like she did every day, and put on her wool stockings and warm morning gown, taking no trouble to brush her hair, before stepping out of her room.

But as she rubbed her eyes, she managed to get a glimpse of something moving in the corner of her eye.

That was the moment where she was snapped out of her sleep drunken state and started screaming.

The bear was just as sleepy and just as startled, but more so because of the scream than the sight of the woman. Just as she screamed in surprise, the bear was rendered mute by shock.

She’d slammed herself into the wall, staring at the bear as she caught her breath. The previous night came back to her, yet to see the bear in bright daylight, humongous, with sharp discernible teeth in its mouth, was enough to get her a bit scared again.

‘Oh, it’s you. I’d quite forgotten about you.’

A sound left the bear’s mouth.

‘I’m sorry, alright. My head doesn’t function in the morning.  You doing better?’

The bear seemed to nod again.

‘I’m going to have breakfast. I don’t know what to give you.’

The bear moaned.

It looked so skinny. It had to eat.

‘Oh if only I knew!’

The instinctive magic inside of her welled up again, making a book fall off of her shelves.

Esther  and the bear broke eye contact because of the sound.

‘What on earth? Oh.’

A book on animals, she’d forgotten she had it, it was one she rarely read. She’d brought it with her so she’d be able to look up all the creatures potentially living in the woods, to find out whether they’d eat her or not.

‘Let’s see what kind of bear you are.’

The bear  stood and walked to her. It seemed to want to look at the book.

Should she sit down so he could see?

As she wondered on what she should do, the bear decided for itself, and lifted itself on its legs.

She had so miscalculated its height. Its head almost touched the ceiling. She didn’t even reach its shoulders.

Her heart started beating.

She’d seen foxes, stags and horses and she’d been threatened by wolves. But the sheer size of this beast was like nothing she’d ever seen before. It dwarfed her.

‘Sit down, I’ll sit down with you. Just… Don’t stand.’

  The bear let itself plop down again, and lied down on the ground, making itself as small as possible. She sat down on her knees and laid the book on the floor. There were five bears in the book. He obviously wasn’t a white one, nor a panda or a black one.

He made a sound as a large paw with giant claws landed on a page.

Stiff with fear, she pushed his paw aside.

‘Alright. So you say you are this type of bear? Let’s see… It says you eat… Everything, potentially… Me.’

She didn’t want to give it ideas though. The bear made a sound, it didn’t sound enthusiastic.

‘Fish. Grasses and stuff, slim chance at that… Berries… If you can eat everything, I think you might be able to eat some porridge with berries like me. You’ll probably need more of it though.’

Luckily, she had a year’s supply of it, just like she had bowls and bowls filled with jams and dried berries. The one good thing of her garden, and a forest filled with wild berries during three seasons of the year.

The bear happily ate four plates of porridge with berries before he seemed to be satisfied.

‘Seems the cold froze your instincts as well, a bear eating human breakfast’, she laughed.

 There was no guideline for taking care of starved bears though, so Esther didn’t know what to do with the unexpected guest. It was December, and there was little to do in the winter season. She couldn’t exactly play boardgames with him.

Turned out she didn’t have to, for after breakfast, he went to the door and starting thumping his head against the door. She imagined that if he were a cat, he’d start clawing at the door, but the bear seemed to sense that his claws would destroy the door.

‘You need to go out? You can go. And, should you need to, you can come back here.’

  She opened the door and the bear walked past her, brushing against her legs as he did so. He didn’t look back as he walked into the woods. Esther remained standing in the portal for longer than she liked to admit. And if she sat down on a chair near the window to regularly check the woods, she wouldn’t tell.

‘This is so stupid, it’s a bear. It was already strange enough that he came by once, why would he return? They’re meant to steer away from humans.’

She looked outside again.

‘Though I hope he won’t starve.’

The silence was getting to her again, so she made the piano play a cheerful tune.

Tea, she needed tea. Her cauldron of water was empty. She walked outside, humming to herself as she made the cauldron float behind her.

  ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

  It was in this instant, as she was picking up snow and throwing it in the floating cauldron, the ice biting in her hands, that she was once again startled by a sound.

But this time it was no growl, nor was it the wind howling in the trees. For the first time in three years, Esther Denham heard the voice of another living creature. She looked away from the snow, and her eyes connected to the figure of the bear. Two fish lay at its feet. He was completely soaked, and the water was starting to freeze as he was standing there.

‘What was that?’

The bear looked at her with his odd green eyes.

She had not just heard a voice say ‘Witch’.

‘For a second there, I thought you’d talked.’

‘I can talk?’

Esther would never be able to describe how strange it was to hear a human voice out of the very bear-like mouth of a giant bear.

‘You talk. You can’t. You’re a bear.’

‘You magic-ed. Cauldrons aren’t meant to float.’

  He had a point, she wasn’t exactly normal. But compared to a talking bear, she’d say she was…

‘I’m ordinary compared to you. Everyone’s heard tales of witches, I’ve yet to hear a story about talking bears.’

‘There’s one right in that book of you. Did not those bears talk to Goldilocks?’

‘You know fairytales? I’m not doing this. I’m not… I might be lonely but I am not crazy. I am not talking to a speaking bear knowledgeable on fairytales. I’m starting to imagine things… I’m dreaming. I must be. I’m not mad.’

Shaking her head, she took the kettle by its handle and walked in again, closing the door behind her with magic.

As she hung the kettle on its hook again, she heard a bang against the door.

‘Please. I’m cold’, the voice begged.

‘I’m going mad. I’m actually going mad.’

  ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

 But the bear was wet. And it was freezing outside. And he was frail. Of those things she was sure. The question was whether she wanted to risk her sanity for the life of an omnivorous talking bear.

‘How can you talk?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Why didn’t you talk yesterday?’

‘I didn’t know I could talk. I never tried it before. And I was tired, I never felt so weak before. I’d been walking through the snow for days. I thought I’d die until I found this cabin. Used my last strength to get here. I couldn’t move an inch once I fell down on your floor. I can’t thank you enough for helping me and feeding me. I know I look dangerous. I know food is scarce. I… I brought you a fish as a sign of thanks.’

‘But the lakes and rivers are frozen. How did you break through the ice?’

‘It wasn’t easy.’

‘Alright, fine. Let’s go along with this madness.’

She opened the door.

‘Get in before you freeze to death… again.’

‘Thank you so much. To take me in and help me, a bear. You’re extraordinary Miss – actually, what is your name?’

She hadn’t talked to another individual in years. But, she’d talked to him yesterday… he simply hadn’t talked back. Standing in front of another rational creature, she suddenly felt self-conscious. If he could talk, he could think and judge. He already knew enough to know that witchcraft was a weird thing. She doubted a bear would go to the village and inform the villagers of her existence. And though she shouldn’t care about how a bear felt about her, he was the first thing she’d had a real interaction with in years.

‘Esther. Esther Denham. Do you have a name?’

‘I think so. But it’s been so long. I don’t… remember.’

‘You don’t remember your own name?’

‘Never had to use it since… Didn’t even know I could speak.’

‘Since what?’

The bear opened his mouth, but instead of words, a roar came out.

  ‘Nice and clear.’

‘I can’t say, Miss Denham. Let’s just keep it on the fact that I have never talked, because I had no one to talk to. Any name I had, I forgot from a lack of use.’

He was what she had feared to become, before her need to break the silence took over, he was so accustomed to being a loner that he’d given up on all communication. Her heart went out to the creature.

‘What do you want me to call you?’

‘Just call me what I am. Bear’s fine.’

‘Alright, Mr. Bear.’

So she took him to the fire, and started brushing the ice out of his fur again. It felt a little weirder, knowing he was a thinking creature, but she got over it. She’d done so the day before, this changed nothing.

It was surprisingly easy to become friends after that. And she really enjoyed having someone to talk to. It helped that his voice was so pleasant as well. He turned out to be quite amusing. He loved to tell jokes, and dearly loved to laugh with everything, but never in a condescending or mocking manner.

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

  The days went by, and the bear stayed with her, lounging in front of the fire. At night, she read to him, and during the day hours, they talked about nothing and everything. He was a bear, who seemed to magically know about fairytales, she tried not to think on the oddity of it and tried to treat him as she would a human. They talked about everything except her old life.  That life was dead, and she still felt protective over it.

So she talked about all kinds of things she’d encountered in the woods. And he talked about what he’d seen. They talked about things in the house, about falling asleep outside in the forest, about what they’d have for dinner.

His voice became a companion to hers. And his presence a constant she could rely upon. She knew her feelings for him came too fast and were too deep. But after years of loneliness, her heart jumped at the opportunity to love another being. She continuously told herself she shouldn’t rely on his friendship. She begged her heart to remain rational. This was a bear, and humans and animals could never be actual friends. But he was too smart to be a pet. She knew that whatever was between them, was temporary. The winter months were ticking by, and in spring he’d be able to go outside again. They didn’t discuss it. Whenever spring or summer was mentioned, the conversation turned awkward. It was an unspoken promise to just treasure the time they had in each other’s company.

  ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

  It was the middle of January, when Esther walked closer to the village than she should’ve. She knew it was risky during daytime hours, but she needed the light to find certain herbs which only grew near the edge of the forest. She’d been suffering from a sore throat for weeks. The bear had taken to telling her stories so she could spare her throat.

‘So you live!’ A booming voice cried.

Before she could respond, two strong arms took her.

‘Good. I happen to have need of you, sister’, he crooned.

She still wondered how his voice could sound like honey even though his words meant no good.

‘Let me go, Edward. Or I swear I –  ’

‘What? You’ll report me? The town folks will surely help one like you. Have your braincells died after you left society? You’re an outcast. People want to hang you. The only thing they’ll assist you in, is your death. You just try crying out, no one will save you.’

He pushed her down in the snow.

‘So here’s the deal. I’ll let you go if you can tell me of my future. It’s one of the only things you were ever good at. Pity you can’t predict your own, would’ve spared you a lot of misery. I’m planning on investing in something. Is it going to be successful?’

‘Let. Me. Go. Please, Edward… You don’t have to do this.’

He pulled on her hear, shoving her face into the snow. The cold seeped through her dress. She’d already gotten goosebumps from her encounter with him, but the stinging pain of the snow now crept through her pores, making its way towards her bloodstream until it ran cold.

‘Are you deaf? Not used to hearing another voice anymore?  I asked AM I GOING TO BE SUCCESFUL?’

Tears rolled over her cheeks as he pushed his knee into her back.

She’d been stupid to love him once.

And she’d paid a mighty price for it.

But it turned out that she hadn’t paid enough.

She’d known coming back was a stupid plan.

A sore throat hardly seemed worth dying.

  A roar rippled through the trees, halting the movements of the person on top of her.

The snow underneath her cheek seemed to shake in anticipation.

The birds grew quiet.

All weighed disappeared from her back as a second roar reverberated through the forest.

She scrambled upright. Edward laid underneath a very large bear.

How could she have forgotten? He was out as well.

The bear went to stand on his two legs.

He’s going to kill him.

   On the one hand, she felt no pity for her step-brother, but on the other hand, she knew her brother had weapons on his person. He could hurt the bear as well.

She could lose him, even before the snow melted.

The only friend she’d had in years.

It was there, at the edge of the forest, with a raging heartbeat, hyperventilating and undercooled, that the nervous breakdown combined with her previous weakness, knocked her out cold.

  ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

  When she woke up, she was laying on the carpet in front of the fireplace, surrounded by softness.

Opening her eyes, all she could see was brown fur.

She repositioned herself, and the bear knew she was up.

‘Who was that?’

‘My step brother. When my aunt died, he betrayed me and my cousin, made it known we were witches. Court ordered us to undergo a witch test. I escaped and never returned.’

‘Why didn’t you use your magic to stop him? You use it for everything.’

She hadn’t even thought of it. The second he grabbed her, she became the weak teenage Esther again. Magic hadn’t even crossed her mind. She could’ve perfectly lifted his body with her magic. But instead, she’d been weak, and had surrendered in an instant.

‘I always relied on him. He always did all the thinking. I… I believe he just made me feel as small and stupid as I used to be.’

‘You don’t strike me as stupid.’

‘I was a bad witch and a bad person.’

‘You were… Evil?’

‘Oh, no… Nothing like that. It’s just… I hated being a witch, I hated the inheritance. I just wanted to have a normal life like my brother. So I never put any time in learning how to be a witch. But my aunt wanted to keep me close, and she had all the money. So we stuck around, and my brother promised me a normal life once she died. It was just him and me, you see, when our parents married each other, we became friends, and when they died, we became a team. He learned me everything, kept me safe… I never had to think, he always arranged everything. He was the only person I cared about on this earth. He got out the worst in me. I was silent, and mean, didn’t interact with anyone. But then, he betrayed my cousin and me so he’d get all the money. All his promises of giving me a normal life, getting away from the superstitious town, they were all lies. I only learned to use my power once I was on my own. I had to learn so much.’ She gently stroked his fur as she trailed off.

‘I think you were his prisoner for too long. He has abused the power he had over you in ways I can barely even guess at. But he’s not going to make a  victim out of you any longer. I will not allow it. I wish I would’ve killed him. But taking care of you was more important.’

‘What happened?’

‘You fainted. I bit him in the arm to warn him off. He fled the second I let him go, so I took you back home.’

‘You have more humanity than him.’

His green eyes kept looking at her, but the exhaustion of the day consumed her. Her eyes were heavy with sleep, and she slipped away in a matter of minutes, feeling comforted by the wam embrace of her bear.

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

  It was the end of January. The rivers and lakes were free of ice, though the ground was still covered in snow.

The sky was bright and blue, without a cloud to be seen, when her bear walked into the woods, as he did each day. And after having lived with him for two months, Esther didn’t look out of the window to check in on him anymore.

Perhaps she should’ve. Because she’d sat down in her chair near the fire and started reading a book, and had been absolutely startled by nightfall.

He still hadn’t returned.

She tried to calm herself.

He always came back to her.

And surely, he’d say goodbye if he wasn’t planning on returning?

Something was very wrong. She threw on her cape and ventured out.

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

 She didn’t know where to start looking. But it didn’t matter, she’d keep on searching until she’d found him. She’d only been out in the dark a handful of times. The forest was a dangerous place to be after dark. But there was no room for anxiety in her head, it was too full of worry.

The first hour she looked in silence. She walked in the dark, because she was affright holding any light might make her eyes lazy in the dark. She needed to see. She tripped more times than she cared to count. Her dress was soaking wet from the snow.

She remained silent the first hour, not wanting to attack any predators. But as the moon rose, so did her worry.

So she cried out for him.

Cried and looked.

A fear wrapped itself around her heart.

She didn’t want to, but she couldn’t stop herself.

What if he had gone?

What if something had happened?

She never asked him where he went to when he went out.

Not that she would’ve been able to find him. For all she knew, she could’ve been walking in circles the past two hours.

The cold was getting to her. Her fingers were so cold they hurt to move, and her body was shaking violently. Her breath was shallow, as it hurt to breathe in the icy air too deeply.

‘Esther!’

It was him. She blinked, looking around. The sound came from everywhere and nowhere in the dark forest.

‘Bear?’

‘Esther!’

The same pitiful roar she’d heard the day she met him came from the left of her.

She ran.

She ran and fell time and time again, but she didn’t care.

   ‘Keeping making noise, please!’

‘Esther!’

And when she tripped another time, she fell on a large soft mass.

She’d found him.

‘Bear!’

His paw was stuck in a bear trap.

‘Oh god.’

This explained.

She didn’t even have to focus. Her rage grew so large the trap simply exploded, but he didn’t stand up.

‘Bear? Mr. Bear?’

A soft moan left his snout.

She lifted him with her magic.

‘It’s time to come home.’

  ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

  She was up all night, brewing healing potions and tonics, and cleaning his wounds. He floated in and out of conscience for hours, and he kept on shaking, God only knew how many hours he’d been stuck lying on the snowy ground.

Finally, at five in the morning, her bear appeared to be lucid and calm. He’d stopped shaking two hours prior, and his eyes weren’t glazed with pain anymore.

She’d fallen asleep against him, exhaustion consuming her the exact instant she knew him to be out of danger.

He stirred then, waking her up ever so gently.

She blinked, her brown doe eyes connecting with his. Between delirious dreams, and instances where reality, memory and dream blended together in his pain fuelled state, he’d seen fragments of memories of times long gone by. But most importantly, he’d remembered something he wanted to share with her as quickly as possible.

‘It’s James… My name is James.’

Esther blinked again. ‘Your name?’

‘I have a name. I remember.’

‘Oh.’ The meaning finally hit her through the layers of exhaustion.

She took his mighty large head in her hands and pressed her nose against his.

‘Hello, James. You had me worried there for a moment. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.’

‘For a second, I feared the exact same thing. Thank you for looking for me. I know you hate the dark. It was incredibly brave.’

‘I’m not brave. I was just worried. I’m still just as scared.’

He was too tired to tell her that that was exactly what bravery was. Sleep took them both again.

His paw didn’t heal easily, and she didn’t knew a lot about healing spells.

He had a hard time leaning on it. She brought his every meal to him, and helped him get outside when he needed to.

She’d taken to sitting with her back against him as they talked at night. It felt weird now, sitting in a chair away from him after they’d saved each other’s lives.

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

  But when March came around, the snow had gone, and his paw had healed enough. He would forever have difficulty walking, but he was strong again. And had recovered much of the weight he’d lost before he first came knocking on her door.

‘I thank you, sweet Esther, for all your good care. I wish I could stay with you, but I can’t. I have to move forward, now more than ever.’

‘Why?’

‘I can’t tell you. I wish I could. But I can’t. Please, don’t think I’m leaving you. If I could… And should you wish, I’d stay.’

But leave he did, and nothing could chase the loneliness away.

It came back tenfold after he left, now that she was so used to having company again.

Not a day went by where she didn’t miss him.

She cried and cried, but to no avail.

James didn’t return.

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

 It was stupid, missing a wild animal. And she hated herself for being so dependent on other people. First Edward, now him. She had a penchant for choosing those who’d leave her.

She hated herself for missing him.

And she hated how each time she lost track of her thoughts, the piano started playing ‘The Bear and the Maiden Fair’.

She hated how she hummed the tune throughout the change of seasons.

A bear there was, a bear, a bear! All black and brown, and covered with hair. The bear! The bear! Oh come they said, oh come to the fair! The fair? Said he, but I'm a bear! All black and brown, and covered with hair!

But James had been good and well intending, he’d shown her more kindness than Edward ever had.

And she supposed she had to be grateful for the company he’d given her, and the time he saved her life. She’d always known their days were numbered.

  ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Spring came and went, summer passed by, and before she blinked, the green leaves turned brown again. The trees, repulsed by their dying extremities, shed their leaves, adding a new layer to the forest floor.

Esther spent her days preparing her garden for winter, making jelly and jam and making treats for the birds with the seeds she got from her sunflowers.

After a busy summer, she started thinking more and more of her bear friend again. As the days got colder, she wondered whether he’d return to her. Some nights, when the wind rattled the wood rattled her home, she sometimes imagined a sound against the door. She’d already opened the door twice for only the cold wind to enter, leaving her chilled and saddened for at least the following hour. She tried not to think too much about him too much, but it was hard.

Especially since she had been feeling quite unsafe the past few weeks. She’d encountered Edward in the woods around the end of October. He’d gotten stuck in a tree with his cape. When he spotted Esther, he’d started begging and demanding her to help him.

  ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

‘Now why would I do that? The last time I saw you, you threatened to have me killed.’

‘Because you were being unreasonable. I asked you to tell me my future and you refused.’

‘Because you betrayed my trust and sent the townfolk after me.’

‘That was years ago.’

‘I won’t help you, Edward.’

‘I wonder how far your house is from this place. Listen, Esther, I can and will get free on my own and I will tell them that you live in the woods unless you help me. This can be our little secret.’

‘Why should I trust you, after everything?’

‘Well, I haven’t told the others after our previous encounter, have I?

Esther took a step back.

‘I assure you, they’ll have no trouble hunting both you and the deer. It’s hunting season, Esther.’

‘Threatening again?’

‘Help me.’

She freed him with the help of her magic. He fell to the ground, staring at her in awe.

‘Do remember I am a witch, Edward. You have no idea what I’m capable of. There, I helped you. Now leave.’

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

 They both left, though Esther walked in the wrong direction as a precaution. She really didn’t wish to lead Edward to her home, nor did she trust him.

As she was walking, she did start wondering what Edward had been doing in the woods again, and why the earth had been kicked up near to the spot he’d been standing. Her curiosity proofed to be too great so she went back to the place, wary of each sound and snapping branch. Only an arm’s deep into the earth, she found a heavy sack. She tried to pull it loose from the grasp of the earth, and at first it gave easily, but once the fabric was pulled taut, she became aware of the weight of the sack. It jingled and jangled. She had a physical reaction to each clank of metal, as if the sound would reach and alert Edward wherever he was.

Her rational thoughts found her through the layers of fear, and, remembering she was a witch, she levitated the bag out of the hole.

The bag was almost the size of her person. Deciding it would be safer to check its contents somewhere safe, she took it home, and was astounded to discovering it was filled to the brim with coin, gem and jewel. She could only guess as to how Edward had collected such treasure, but of one thing she was sure: it had to be stolen.

Feeling particularly vengeful, she decided to keep it.

‘You owed me anyways.’

It was enough money to buy herself a castle and start over. A life away from the dangers of the woods, away from the looming threat of the villagers, and away from Edward who would no doubt show no mercy for the theft of his wealth. She started planning and packing, and reduced her amount of walks to a minimum. She only left her protected garden and home for a fifteen minute dash to the river the catch some fish for supper every three days.

It proved still too much when she was tackled to the ground, five minutes removed from her home.

She started wondering if she was the only one who’d taken up residence in the woods, for Edward sure spent a lot of time in them as well.

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

   ‘You thought you could steal from me and get away with it? Did you?’

‘Let me go.’

‘Let you go? Just let you go? After you stole from me? Oh no dear sister, I showed you mercy. Now I’ll show you my wrath. And don’t hope for a random bear to save you this time around. That kind of luck never comes around twice.’

He got up and kicked in her in the stomach. She bent  over, covering her stomach.

‘Where is my treasure.’

‘You stole it yourself.’

He kicked her again. ‘You don’t know that. And so what? It’s mine now.’

Another kick. ‘Where?’

Esther remained silent.

‘I won’t ask a third time. I’d hate to fuck up your pretty face.’

‘You don’t deserve a single penny from that treasure.’

He pulled her up by her hair and kicked her in the back this time. She cried out in pain as he dropped her to the floor again.

‘You can’t kill me. Then you’ll never find it.’

‘But I can make you suffer.’

‘Do as you please, but I won’t help you.’

‘You stupid little witch. I should have burned you the same day I outed you!’

A witch. She was a witch!

Why did she always forget that when she was around him?

She raised her hand, flexing her fingers to cast an incantation, but Edward gave her another kick before she had the chance to finish the movement.

‘You were always the weakest of them all, Esther. You think magic is going to help you?’

Another kick.

She wailed and formed her body into a ball to shield her most fragile areas.

‘You’re a failure. You can’t be normal. You can’t be a witch. You’re an awful thief. I think I might be doing you a favour by killing you. You’re utterly deluded if you think you can ever reach something.’

She had no doubt he had the capacity to kill her.

She couldn’t imagine herself escaping the situation.

Perhaps it was true. What had she done well on this earth? What had she done with her life? She didn’t even have anyone who’d miss her.

Hot tears heated her cheeks as she fought to find the strength to fight back. But the constant onslaught of kicks made it hard to focus on anything beside the pain.

 “But he’s not going to make a  victim out of you any longer. I will not allow it.”

But here he was, making a victim out of her again. And there she lay, undergoing his treatment. She wished she had the strength to fight back. To defend the life her friend had saved.

‘I’m sorry, James.’

‘What’s that?’

His kicks halted for a second, believing Esther to have said something that might be a plea or a location. Esther wasted no time letting go of her body and immediately made a gesture which threw him three feet away from her.

She tried to scramble to her feet, she honestly tried, but her body was so sore that her legs crumpled underneath her weight.

‘You’re going to fight? Bold of you. Didn’t knew you had some Denham spice after all.’

‘I hate you.’

‘Do you? I remember a time where you said quite the opposite.’ His words missed their mark, or rather, they hit the wrong one. It didn’t make her feel insecure or sad, it made her boil with rage.

Esther's beam of light blinded him.

‘I do.’

Her hands tingled with energy. She wanted to hurt him. Yet at the same time, she wondered if she was capable of murder.

Edward fell to his knees as the pure energy shot from her hands and connected with his chest.

   ‘You bitch!’ His scream deepened, the sound echoing through the woods and becoming inhuman… Esther stared in disbelief.

How did he… he didn’t. His scream had left his mouth at the same time a roar rippled through the woods.

Could it be?

Esther couldn’t stop herself from looking around.

A foolish mistake, honestly. She should have known. Edward yanked on her hair and pushed her into the dirt again.

They tackled each other, now both on their knees in the dirt. Esther kicking up the brown ground and Edward lashing out at her with his fists. They fell and rolled, kicked and pushed, and then.

‘James!’

A fist connected with her cheek.

As her face connected with the ground once more, she could just see the shimmer of a knife in Edward’s hands. Then everything faded to black.

 ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

 Her head pounded. Her muscles ached. Beside her face, a bear moaned pitifully. She could just notice a pair of green eyes beside her. She reached out, her hands connecting with the fur she would never forget the feel of. Her hands clenched shut around it. The bear was moving, and she was being pulled on top. She fell away again.

  She was aware of  moving. She could feel herself rising and falling. The sensation was not unfamiliar to the one of being on a horse years ago. The light went out.

 The ground was hard, and her head throbbed. Simply moving her finger hurt enough to cripple her. She tried to lift her body, but she didn’t think she’d managed to get even an inch above the ground, before her body ached so much it shut down again.

  ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

 It was pitch black when she opened her eyes again. It was the first time she didn’t have to fight to keep them open, though her body still hurt like hell. She’d never done her witch triall, but she could imagine how a highwayman felt after having been broken on the wheel.

‘Esther?’

J-J- James?’

Something moved beneath her. Had she been lying on the bear?

‘Thank God, I was so worried for you.’

‘Don’t be.’

‘How can I not?’

‘I survived this long on my own.’

‘It didn’t really look like you were surviving all that well.’

‘Then you shouldn’t have left me.’

‘I’m sorry… I just… I really wished I could have stayed. But I couldn’t.’

‘Why?’

Even saying the words hurt, as they required breath, and breathing wasn’t particularly enjoyable at the moment.

‘I can’t tell.’

‘Well try.’

‘I wanted to… to… break my curse.’

Esther’s eyebrows lifted.  She could feel her bear move underneath her.

‘I can tell it? I can? Esther, I tried to tell you so many times, but I couldn’t. Only bear noises came out. I don’t know how it’s possible now but I’m going to try. Can you listen right now?’

‘I might be in pain… And I’m not excluding the possibility I might faint somewhere in the foreseeable future… But if you don’t start talking now I’ll find the strength to beat the answer out of you.’

‘There is the Miss Denham I’m used to.’

She wished she had the strength to roll her eyes.

‘My ancestors once decided it was a good idea to curse the family treasure. Whoever stole it would be cursed with bad luck, and whoever lost it would be cursed as well, but they would be given the strength of a bear to get the treasure back… I never thought the curse would be… You know… Like it is. But when I was away from home, the treasure was stolen, and out of nowhere, I turned into a bear. I was chased and hunted. Turns out people don’t like bears a lot.’

Esther could hear the humour in his voice, and well-remembered how scared she’d been when she first met him.

‘I came to this region because I could simply sense that the thief lived in this area. But I could never find him. Then winter set in, and you saved me. When I left, it was only because each day, though I’d never particularly enjoyed being a bear, I found myself growing more and more agitated with my predicament. You made me want to search with a renewed vigour.’

Her mouth was dry, and the load of information only slowly penetrated the woolly interior of her head. But as the words seeped in, her heartbeat picked up.

He had a family.

The family had a treasure.

The treasure was stolen.

 He was cursed with the strength of a bear…

‘Why?’

‘Because each day I looked at you, I found myself wishing I could touch your face without my claws peeling your skin off. Needing to hold you in my arms instead of having you lean against my side… And having to kiss you or going mad.’

Esther didn’t know how one was supposed to react to being told they were loved by a bear, who actually turned out to be a cursed human, but she was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to giggle.

But giggle she did.

‘This is ridiculous.’

Edward had killed her. Or he’d pushed her to the edge of death.

Her dying mind had probably gone delirious and imagined the return of James, and had started adding more and more fantastical elements so that she could die happily.

‘I should have known. After all, what am I to you but a strange talking bear?’

‘What happened to Edward?’

The bear grew quiet. Esther nodded. She could have guessed. She didn’t know how to feel about it, but it didn’t particularly sadden her. He’d tried to kill her thrice in six years.

‘I told you I might kill him. I apologise. I know it’s wrong.’

‘I think you may have killed the thief who stole your treasure.’

‘But then how will I ever find it? I’m cursed!’

James growled and gnarled and roared out of frustration and sadness.

If anything, it gave Esther time to process everything.

Her bear was back. Her bear, who had always been a friend instead of a pet, was human. And for some odd reason, he happened to be a wealthy lord who proclaimed to be in love with the odd poor witch of the woods.

And she held the key to his humanity in her bedroom!

‘I have it. I took it, that’s why he was attacking me… It’s in my bedroom. If you push my drawer away, you’ll find a set of stairs to a secret storage room. It’s there. You can take it back, it belongs to you.’

‘You took it?’

‘Edward owed me my inheritance, and I knew there was no way he had earned that much. I didn’t really think it through, but I figured I could use at least a part of it to get away and start my life over. It would also mean I was safe and away from Edward. But he got to me first. I’m sorry I stole your treasure.’

‘You stole from your brother, not from me. Even I would feel no remorse over stealing from a man like him.’

Esther nodded. The rollercoaster of emotions was draining all the energy she’d gathered from her sleep. She was starting to get drowsy again.

‘I’m glad I could assist you. You’ve always been kind to me. You deserve to get your treasure back.’

‘You’re a remarkably kind woman yourself… E- Es, you’re falling asleep again, aren’t you?’

‘Mhm.’

‘Is there a potion I could give you? To ease the pain?’

‘Amasfelaynes’, she breathed, as she curled up again. It would help the bruises heal, though it would make the pain a bit worse at first. But it was fine, she was sure she’d be able to sleep through it.

She felt a vial of glass connecting to her face, and weakly lifted her hand towards it. James had taken it between his sharp teeth. She honestly didn’t even bother opening her eyes anymore as she unscrewed the lid and downed its contents.

Sleep took her seconds after.

  ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

 When she woke up again, it was about noon, judging by the light inside her cabin. The fire was still crackling behind her. Her body ached, but it didn’t throb like it did the night before.

The potion had done its magic. She redistributed her weight to find a more comfortable position on the carpet, and became aware of an arm tensing around her middle.

She stiffened.

Calm down.

One breath.

Two breaths

Three breaths.

She was laying on the floor of her cabin in the woods. This much she understood. She’d fallen asleep there after James gave her her potion.

She pushed herself to look at her waist. And there it was: an arm dressed in a richly embroidered blue coat. On the end of the coat, a frilly end of a white sleeve could be distinguished, from which a very scarred wrist and a hand hung. The scars were ugly and purple, and there were visible depths in the skin. Whatever had happened to his writs, he was lucky it was still attached to his body.

A treasure.

James.

A curse.

The wrist! The paw!

She couldn’t help the shiver running down her spine.

Her dear bear had revealed to her he was supposed to be a man. No human should be able to get into her home. Therefore, the only humans who could have entered her home were she herself, and humans who walked passed the gate as something other than human.

The retrieval of his treasure must have restored his human form.

‘Because each day I looked at you, I found myself wishing I could touch your face without my claws peeling your skin off. Needing to hold you in my arms instead of having you lean against my side… And having to kiss you or going mad.’

He was human now.

She didn’t dare look at him. Behind her wouldn’t lay the bear whose hairy snout she’d become so accustomed to, but the face of a man she’d never seen before.

But she did know him.

And she had heard him.

She studied his hand, as it was the only thing she could look at without moving, and the only aspect she could analyse without starting to tremble.

The hand had long fingers, and though the palm was considerably larger than hers, it wasn’t too broad. As far as she could judge, he’d have a moderate waist.

Would he be as tall as his bear form? That would be very large.

As she was wondering about his looks, she didn’t notice that the figure behind her was slowly waking up.

  ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

  ‘Esther?’

‘James!’

She shrieked.

She was scared of him again. And scared of how their relation would continue after this moment. It was one thing to welcome a bear into her home, but another to be faced with a man who’d declared his desire for her before she’d even seen him.

‘Esther, please, don’t be scared.’

She wondered if he’d somehow look like his bearform.

There was only one way to find out.

But once she looked, there was no going back. Her bear friend would be gone.

Her life as she knew it would probably be over as well.

So much was about to happen. She wished she could lay on this floor with her eyes shut forever. The change was too sudden, too drastic.

Soft, warm hands took hold of hers.

‘Esther, please. I’m still… Me. Though I’ll probably be less hungry and hairy than before.’

She laughed at that, and opened her eyes.

They connected with a lovely pair of green eyes, found in a round face framed by hair and a beard the same dark chocolate shade as his fur had been.

He was… Not ugly.

Far from it actually.

She didn’t know how much time passed, gazing into his eyes, but she did know time had most definitely passed.

    ‘Now what?’

‘That’s entirely up to you.’

‘Me?’

‘You.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘What do you want, Miss Denham?’

‘Want in what way?’

‘Of life. You told me yesterday you wished to start your life anew to escape your brother’s clutches. Your brother is gone now. So I wish to give you the choice: do you wish to remain here, or move away and start over? You’ve helped me so many times, and saved my life. I’ll do everything in my power to help you achieve happiness in whatever way you want.’

Remain behind, in the woods she’d been chased to, and the woods she feared. Or start anew, away from it all, but without a single friend? What would she do all day? At least here she was busy struggling for her life.’

‘I don’t know.’

‘I also have another offer.’

‘You do?’

‘You could… Marry me? You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. You’re witty, intelligent, beautiful, caring and so much more. I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I do you. But I know you do not know me the way I do you, and it hardly seems fair. To you I am an entirely new person.’

‘You pretend as though I am the one who would fare badly if we were to wed. But you’re a fool if you can’t see I’m not worth having. I’m a witch and I don’t have a penny to my name.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘You should.’

‘I don’t. So we’re both an awful prospect?’

‘Actually, you’re not that awful. I do know you. I’ve talked with you every day for over four months. We discussed everything. Now I just get a face to match with the voice.’

‘And how does the face match the voice?’

‘Well you still look positively as wild as your growls sound. But I assume your face looks as kind as your voice sounds.’

‘I never quite know whether you’re complimenting or insulting me’, he laughed. She couldn’t help but smile back at him.

She shook her head.

‘You’re not meant to. I wouldn’t want you to feel too confident.’

‘Oh no, you must prevent that at all costs.’

And it was at this moment, when both couldn’t get the foolish smiles off their faces, that their hands started reaching for the other.

Lips connected, bodies entwined themselves and passion was discovered, elevating the friendship from the bear and the maiden fair, to passionate heights.

   ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

   If you’d ask his best man, Sidney Parker, he wouldn’t be able to explain anything. He only knew that one day, after an absence of a year and a half, Lord Babington came riding through the gates of his family home, with a woman in tow. Nobody knew where she came from, and nobody knew how they’d met, but Lord Babington announced they were to be wed. It could only be attested, by everyone who’d seen the wedding, that the groom looked positively bewitched by his new bride, and the bride was happier than any other.

[scaryscarecrows]

Lose Your Soul

“Don’t. Move.”

He can’t breathe. He can’t breathe he can’t breathe god please not like this-

“The fuck you doing!”

The gun swivels towards the woods, only for a second, but he takes advantage to sprint around the side of the house, out of range. If he can double back to the road…but Kitty doesn’t know the way back…

Where is she?

The door flies open and he darts to the other side

Can’t help her if you’re dead, idiot!

and peers around the corner. The man’s halfway between the house and the woods, head tilted like he’s trying to smell the air. Jonathan pauses, weighing his chances on reaching the main road without being shot,

Not good too much open ground where the hell is she?

and lunges up the porch and into the house. The slam of the door gets the man’s attention, but this old place has a sturdy bar in addition to the lock. Okay, okay, window, attic ladder…

Now what?

He sinks to the floor under the window and takes deep breaths. Okay. Okay, there’s no shouting or screaming or gunfire, so Kitty’s probably fine. She may not know where she’s going, but neither does the gunman, more than likely.

Okay. Okay, new plan. Find Kitty (she can’t have gotten that far), and leave and never, ever, ever speak of this again. Maybe not even go home. He’s never hotwired a car, but how hard can it really be, idiots do it all the time-

Okay.

He takes three deep breaths and forces himself to stand up and look outside. Nothing. That’s good, he reminds himself, that means he can leave the house and that Kitty’s (probably) not dead.

He pushes the door open, wincing at the creak, and pokes his head out. Nothing. It’s gotten eerily quiet, save for the wind. Well, he’ll probably hear if anyone tries to sneak up on him. Hopefully.

Kitty?

Nothing. He makes his way off the porch, freezing at every small sound. Where the hell is she?

Thunder rumbles in the distance. Okay. Woods. If Kitty’s got any sense, she’ll have stuck close to the edge rather than risk getting lost. (Though, they are here to begin with, so…)

He’ll go with that, because it’s a place to start.

Now, in the dark, he takes back every uncharitable, ‘those aren’t real woods’ thought he’s ever had and replaces them with new uncharitable, ‘great, woods’ thoughts. There’s more trees than he realized and up close, they’re nowhere near as spindly as they look from the road. He hates nature, he decides, and if he survives this and Granny doesn’t kill him before he’s eighteen, he’s going somewhere with no nature whatsoever. ‘Cept maybe a park, because those are unavoidable, now where is she she can’t be dead there was no gunshot-

He’s maybe ten feet in-the house is just visible, anyway-when a clump of leaves falls on his head. He looks up, expecting a bird, and is mistaken.

“Kitty?” She holds a finger to her lips and he lowers his voice. “Where’d he go?”

She points and gestures frantically for him to come up. He’s about to argue-maybe they can make it if they run-when the whistling reaches his ears and you know, never mind, no they can’t.

He feels horribly exposed up here-these trees are sparse-but it’s dark and it’s not like they’re at eye level or anything.

Kitty’s fine-a little scratched up, probably from getting up here in the first place-but she’s pale and, as he finds out when she reaches over to grab his arm, shaking like a leaf.

“You’re okay.” she breathes. “I wasn’t sure if he’d caught you-”

The whistling moves a little closer and she shuts up, fingers gripping his sleeve. It stops abruptly, but Jonathan has no idea if they’ve been spotted or not.

“I know you’re around here somewhere.” a voice sing-songs from…somewhere over there. Too close, that’s all he knows. “Come on out, we need to have a talk.” There’s a flash of lightning and they both try to melt into the tree trunk. “Just a talk, that’s all. Don’t be frightened, I won’t hurt you.”

Maybe death hurts, you don’t know.

Crunch, crunch.

He can’t see down there any more than the man (presumably) can see up here, but the footsteps sound close. This is worse than anything Granny’s ever done, worse by far-

The man steps into view, head shiny as Granny’s prized silver. Kitty’s fingers tighten to a near-painful degree.

Don’t look up, don’t look up…

One of them is born cursed. The man stops, looks from side to side, and then looks up.

“Hi.”

Everything goes numb and clear and loud and no no he’s imagining this he always did have a vivid imagination-

“Come down here, please.”

He’s going to be sick maybe that’d get him to go away nobody wants to be puked on do they-

“Don’t make me ask you again.”

Going down there has a slightly higher chance of Not Dying but he doesn’t want to he doesn’t want to-

Breathe. Don’t lose your head, that’s how you die.

He takes a steadying breath and makes his way back down, Kitty right behind him. He has no ideas, none whatsoever apart from no sudden movements.

“Come on. Run, and I’ll shoot you.”

Yeah. He gathered. Nice to have confirmation.

He’s expecting them to be marched deeper into the woods, but instead they go back to the house. Makes sense, he supposes. Grave’s already there, just widen it a little.

“Inside. Don’t do anything silly.”

The door shuts behind them like a coffin lid closing and the walls seem to close in around them. The man glances at the trunk, raises an eyebrow, and says, “Sit down.”

When neither of them move-for his part, the words just haven’t registered-he shoots a bullet into the floor and shouts, “Now!”

Words registered. Sitting down now.

Once they’re down, the man props the shotgun against the wall and sits down on the bed, looking from one to the other.

“Nosey little shits, huh?”

“Small town.” Jonathan shoots back, regrets it immediately. Fortunately, the man just thinks that’s funny. Or pretends to.

“Yeah, y’know, I was a nosey kid, too. ‘Til I walked in on my parents.” He’d been happy without that knowledge, thanks. “You got any smart remarks, honey?”

For once in your life, SAY NO.

Kitty swallows and forces a paper-thin smile.

“No.”

“Smart girl.”

Not exactly.

“We didn’t see anything.” she continues, and it’s an effort to look like he agrees with this. “We just came out here for, um…y’know…” She shrugs. “My parents are home and his parents are home and-”

“Why were you up by the house, then?”

“It’s supposedly haunted.” Jonathan mumbles. “She dared me to come up and touch it, that’s all.”

The man sighs.

“You two are awful liars.”

“It’s the truth!”

“Mm-hm, and my name’s Plenty o’Toole.” Huh? “You were nosing around before.”

“Told you. It’s haunted. We were ghost-hunting.”

“Your bad luck, guys.” He leans forward. “Now. You’re from around here, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You know Wicker?”

“No.”

“Bullshit. You small towns always know everybody.” Damn near, but not this time! “So where’s his money?”

“What?”

“The money, kiddo.” Don’t call me kiddo. “Wicker’s buried gold, where is it?”

Seriously? They’re in this predicament because of imaginary gold? He is going to be murdered and left for the crows because of imaginary gold?

“There isn’t any, look at this place!” Kitty’s fingers, icy cold, grip his. “S’just a story, that’s all! If you were dumb enough to believe it-”

“Shut up!” He silences. The man leans over and picks up the gun. “Look. This sucks for you, I get it. Should’ve thought about that before you got nosey.”

He’s got a half-formed idea of DUCK ‘N RUN when the gun comes up in front of his head. He can almost feel the warmth radiating off it and his idea promptly turns to no no please no.

“Wait!” Kitty shut up now. “Wait, wait-we’ll help you look. Yeah? We’ll help you look for it.”

The man raises an eyebrow and for a second Jonathan thinks he’ll be shot out of spite, but then the gun lowers. A little. It’s not aimed directly at his head, anyway. Not that being shot in the chest is any better. Might be worse. That might lead to him choking to death on blood and bits of his ribs.

Kitty keeps talking, the words becoming nearly unintelligible in her rush to get them out.

“S’better to have more eyes, innit? It’s a big lot, could be anywhere, and killing us means you have to hope no one comes looking-” Don’t go there, he doesn’t need any ideas. “-so really making us help is the safer choice-”

“Shut up.” She stops talking. “I don’t want your help. You’ll make a run for it.”

He’d love to chime in and say no, but he’s still stuck on ‘open mouth, get shot’.

“We won’t.” she says. “Promise we won’t, just please-”

The gun doesn’t waver and he starts mentally counting his breaths, knowing damn well they’ll be cut off any second-

There’s a flash of lightning outside and the thunder rolls up, building before crashing. The man flinches and why is he holding a gun when he’s jumpy that’s how accidents happen.

Is that smoke? He risks a glance upwards. Maybe…it’s a little hazy, but that could be fear.

Fires don’t start that fast-

-but with all the lightning, who knows how long it’s been going. And this little shack…they’re sitting in kindling.

Great.

Kitty’s started talking again and he wishes she’d shut up is she trying to get herself shot?

“…wouldn’t even have to dig, just tell us where to-”

There’s a creak-old house settling or old house burning? Whatever it is, it catches the man’s attention. He looks up, grip on the gun slackening.

“What-”

It’s monumentally stupid, but he doesn’t have a better plan-he lunges forward and grabs hold of the gun, pulls hard.

To his utter shock, he’s successful. Nearly falls backwards, actually.

“What the fuck-”

The gun’s heavy in his hands, heavy and hot and he doesn’t know what the hell to do with it now, but he gets a grip on it and points it forward, pretending it’s not shaking.

“Up against the wall.” Hell, everything is shaking tonight, from his voice to his knees.

“Kid, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“Now!”

He stands up, trying not to drop the gun, and takes a steadying breath. Kitty gets up and steps back.

He could, feasibly, shoot the man. No one knows he’s here. Hell, if there were ever ‘the world’s easiest murder’, he could commit it right now. He could even say it was an accident, if he ever did get caught. Say his finger twitched or something.

It’d be easy.

“Jonathan.” Kitty’s voice is nearly silent. “We need to go to the police.”

Like they’ll do anything. Like they care.

There’s another creak from upstairs. It’d be easy. Hell, if the place really is on fire, he’s got a ready-made body disposal.

Kitty tugs on the back of his shirt.

“Jonathan.”

“He’ll be gone. By the time we get back, he’ll be gone.” He knows he’s speaking way too fast, but she needs to get this, they don’t have a choice. “They won’t find him, you know they won’t-”

“Don’t.” Her voice is still that borderline-silent, not-normal tone. “Just don’t, you…” She takes a shuddery breath. “Please.”

He doesn’t lower the gun.

“If you move, I will shoot you.” he says, forcing his voice not to shake. “Is that clear?”

The man shrugs.

“Sure, kid.”

He’ll follow. Jonathan knows he’ll follow, he should just-

“Do you have a belt?”

“Why.”

He nods toward the bed.

“To keep him from running.”

There’s a clinking noise, followed by fabric-rubbing-on-fabric.

“Yeah.”

“Go sit in front of the bed with your hands behind you.”

If the man has a smart comment, he keeps it to himself and walks, slowly, to the bed. Kitty climbs on top of it and leans down, belt in hand.

Jonathan’s half-expecting the man to try to grab her (and has no idea what to do if he does), but apparently he’s not willing to risk being shot, because he sits still, shaking his head, while she ties his wrists together and knots the belt to the bedpost. He still breathes a little easier when she’s out of grabbing range, knots or no.

He keeps the gun up until they’re on the porch, and it’s not until they’re down the steps that he sets it down and nearly falls down after it. He’s spent-there’s no sleep coming for him for a while, he can just tell.

Kitty hugs him-or maybe just can’t stand on her own. He has no idea.

“I thought for a minute you were gonna shoot him.” she mumbles into his shirt. He laughs, a high, strangled noise.

“I thought for a minute I was gonna shoot him.”

They stand there for a minute-Jonathan, for his part, is trying to pull himself together enough to walk home without collapsing in the road.

“Come on.” he says at last, once his legs feel strong enough to take more than five steps. “We need to go.”

They’ve just climbed-slowly, shakily-over the fence, when there’s a splintering noise and a scream. They spin around, wobbling a little, and dear god.

The roof’s fallen in. There’s no heaping blaze, but there is smoke and a low, red glow.

“Oh my god.” Kitty whispers. “Jonathan-”

He’s not jumping the fence to pull the man out. It was a cloth belt, maybe he cut through it, or it burned through. Why should he go and see?

He wipes dust and streaks off his glasses and glances up again. There’s no sound, now, but the window’s blowin’ hard and the red glow seems to be getting brighter.

“I’m sure he’s fine.” he says softly. “The knot wasn’t that tight.”

He expects her to protest.

“I guess you’re right.” She steps back, pauses, and takes his sleeve. “It’s late. By the time the police get here, he’ll be gone.”

“Probably.”

They walk in silence for a little while, and the road’s just starting to turn towards home when she stops.

“I can’t sleep, not after that.” Okay. “Want to see if there’s anything at the bridge?”

This time his laugh’s a little more normal.

“Sure.”

THE END

[pussymagicuniverse]

THE DAY SHE SWALLOWED THE SUN

This is the story of a child born at noon. Sun, high in the sky, had beamed at her as she stared him down, curious. It had been centuries since anyone had looked him in the eyes.

This is the story of a child with a prophecy. “One day she will devour the sun,” the snake oil had hissed from the bottom of the frying pan. “One day she will plunge you all into darkness and she won’t shed a tear.”

Her parents had wept, but there was still time before their daughter grew strong enough to pull off such a feat, they thought.

They changed their mind when, at age five, she said: “when I’m big I’ll fly to the sky, take Sun by the hand, and we’ll go somewhere just the two of us to be happy forever!”

It could have been sweet, but the adults had been forewarned and the collective gasp that resounded signalled the beginning of the end of Skel’s life.

The way it happened was this:

First they came for her in the middle of the night with the moon as their witness, a shield between the little demon and the sun.

Then they threw her in the pit-house they had kept empty since her birth, and had put back in shape in the hours between her innocent declaration and the abduction.

After that they locked the door from the outside, and that was it. She was petrified, in tears, alone in her prison cell.

As she grew stronger and older she could have broken free if she’d tried. She supposed the wattles making up the walls could be punched through: she would have kept at it until the hole was big enough for her shoulders and squeezed through there, taken off. That last part would have been tricky; they were always watching her in daylight, never too confident that the pit-house would hold her. Why, she was a legendary monster after all.

Only Sjór had ever been sympathetic to her plight. The dark-haired girl had cheered Skel on about her plan to elope with the sun way back when, reasoned with the adults that as long as they had the moon, who cared about the sun? Light was light was light.

“Ignorant little runt.” Auntie had pinched Sjór’s ear very hard as she had admonished her. “The moon only reflects the sun’s light, it’s worthless on its own. Without the sun, we’ll be forever in the dark and all of life will die, your silly moon first of all. Do you want it to die?”

Auntie had been satisfied to hear Sjór cry — she might have shocked some common sense into the child. But Sjór had been crying because she didn’t like being yelled at, and her ear hurt, and she was scared for Moon. The moon kept the sky away from the sea, drew waves up along the shore, brought fish, made the blood in Sjór’s temples thrum and pound. The moon was beautiful and it was everything, but everyone in the village only ever had eyes for the sun — nevermind that they couldn’t actually look at it.

Sjór would have been bitter, had Skel not shown her how empty the villagers’ devotion really was.

The alleged sun-eater was allowed to leave her house every night as the moon shone high in the sky, as long as she went back in before first light. She would spend the night awake, silent unless her only friend was there to keep her company. With Sjór by her side she would relax then wax poetic, asking about what her dear Sun had looked like that day and how much the crops had grown thanks to him. Oftentimes the younger girl would offer Skel a few flowers, swearing to herself it was the last time when she’d see tears run down Skel’s cheeks, but inevitably Sjór would give in and bring more because the tears were nothing compared Skel’s radiant smile.

“I feel so close to him. Is it silly?” The prisoner asked one day, rolling the stem of a beautiful sunflower between her fingertips.

“I don’t think so. I’m sure in some way he’s always with you. Look!” Sjór brought her forearm close to Skel’s, both girls marvelling at the contrast there. “”I heard it’s called ‘sun-kiss’. He never kisses me, who’s near him every day, but he still finds a way to kiss you, who’s hidden from him. “ She leaned in close to her friend, whispering her certitude with the reverence it deserved and the secrecy it required. “You’re not the only one who cares, Skel.”

When she separated from her friend that night, Sjór decided it was time to bring the prophecy about.

It took several days and nights conspiring with her beloved before Sjór could tell the sun-eater the good news.

“I have a plan,” she whispered hurriedly against the door of Skel’s pit-house. “The moon and I can help you meet the sun. Be ready tomorrow after noon.”

Now Skel couldn’t help her heart from leaping to her throat at those words, but a great beast had made its nest in her chest over the many years of her imprisonment. The elders called it ‘humility’ but she wasn’t so sure. ‘Humidity’ seemed more like it: a damp, dark, slumbering emptiness that took away the colours she so loved once upon a time. Hope, beautiful and entrancing, now looked dull as a dead eye.  She trusted Sjór to try, but further than that Skel expected no miracles.

She was astounded when she heard the shouts. The disbelief and fear cut through the stale smell of mud that permeated everything she owned. She was anxious to get out like if she didn’t she would never breathe again. Sjór’s words came back to her and hope, that fragile bird, pounded against her flesh with what she knew now to be despair, the foe turned friend as pain didn’t register while she scraped at the wattles with her nails, her strength and speed increased to let her out in time.

When at long last her feet touched the still-warm ground it was night like she had never known it before. In the sky hung an egg — a gigantic, perfectly round, jet black egg.

No, that wasn’t right. Peering closer, eyes squinted nearly shut she could see rays fighting to slip under the dark circle’s guard. Several things happened at once: she understood, she gasped, she fell, she sobbed; Sjór’s hand squeezed her shoulder.

“Don’t worry, he’s unharmed. The moon is hiding him away so that you can leave your hut. You can go to him now, but you need to be quick.”

“How?” How was that possible, how had Sjór and Moon planned this, how would she run to him when he was still so high in the sky?”

“Moon will let go of him in a moment. When she does, make sure you run as fast as you can then jump on the first ray of light that touches the ground. It will bring you to him.”

The next few minutes were tense. Skel didn’t dare move, not knowing where the first ray would hit, yet fearing she’d be too far out of reach at the same time. Sjór wrung her hands to the point where they were painful and red, but her worry for her dear Moon held all her attention, thus she hardly felt any pain at all. She was afraid that any time now the fighters would decide to bring down the shield obscuring the Sun from view and hurt the being she loved most in the world.

Eventually Moon slid a hair’s breadth to the side. Something thin and weak peaked out behind it and extended a hand towards the ground. It couldn’t reach yet, but Skel saw the spot it pointed to and started to run. Sjór didn’t see her go, too focused on the Moon still. Her eyes had watered and her pupils were blown wide from the spectacle, but she couldn’t care less. She would witness this to the end, should it be the last thing she ever saw at all.

Skel’s feet barely touched the ground. She dodged between men and women, jumped above children’s head like a doe charging towards freedom. As she did so the ray of light grew in width and strength, more visible by the second as the moon receded. Skel drew more strength in her legs, pushed faster, jumped higher — and there was the warmth, there was the glow. The last of her energy pushed her high in the air and when she landed, she was home. Immense and merciless the Sun drew his hand back against his chest, sparing the falling Moon a fond smile. She would have returned it, too, had she not been staring at an unseeing, sobbing Sjór.

You’ll be all right now, thought Skel.

“They’ll be all right now,” said the sun.

When Skel at long last turned her face towards him she saw that he was beautiful: draped in dripping light, long lashes a golden blond, and if the glow of Skel’s skin was his kiss then she hoped the rich brown of his was her love, bruising him for its intensity. She had so much to ask him, so much to confess. The pain of hope, the torture of hopelessness. Her doubts in herself and in him; the feeling that he had never cared for her at all.

She decided any of those would make a good start.

“Have you ever looked at me?”

“Everyday.”

“They said I’d kill you.”

“With you I am finally alive.”

 The kiss they shared didn’t feel like a first time.

When the Lover and the Sun plunged into the sea, the resulting waves got so big they reached the clouds. They were sizzling with heat and took everything with them; droplets burned holes into skin, bit maps onto naked backs. The moon landed between Sjór and the wave, draped her beloved meddler into her marble-soft arms and held her tight. That was when  Sjór realised she had never known bliss nor safety before, and that the one providing both those things was fated to disappear.

“I don’t want you to go,” she sobbed against the Gibbous petting her hair.

“My sweet one, I will go nowhere without you.”

“But they said you would die!”

Moon took Sjór’s face in her hands and allowed her smile to tremble, so long as her voice was firm. “That’s because they forgot how the sun was born.”

As the moon laid her lips upon Sjór’s they became warmer, mellower, like melting wax under midday heat. Sjór felt pain irradiate through her chest, the searing heat of her heart biting like frost. They held on fast to each other, clinging — fingernails digging — despair binding sister souls until Sjór couldn’t tell herself apart from the one she loved. And Moon, well. Moon smiled and smiled and smiled, and from it came the purest light — one born of unconditional love given and taken in equal measures.

Up they went, lifted through the air until people looked like ants and rivers like ribbons and mountains like heaps of powdered sugar. Further still they glided through the clouds and up in the sky where it was dark save for what they touched. In the lonely expanse of the galaxy was silence and frost, but together they would weave a new pattern as far as their arms could reach.

Somewhere down the line Sjór had come undone and had been put together. Her senses were gone, replaced by something… different.

“I don’t have eyes, but I can see little coloured dots revolving around us.”

“These are our children, the planets and satellites.”

“I don’t have ears and yet I can hear you.”

“That would be because we are as one, our thoughts merge together.”

“I have no body, but I can feel you close.”

“That is love, binding us together for eternity.”

“How can I love you if I don’t have a heart?”

“How can you not have a heart,” smiled half of the one who was now Sun, “when you love me so?”

Fleur is a queer storyteller living predominantly in their own head, which happens to be located in France close to the Belgian border.

Their love for the magical and eerie started with bedtime stories but now transpires into their stories, through which they seek to shine a light on both the beautiful and grotesque aspects of everyday life. With a particular fondness for the Norse and Greek gods, they mix a little bit of everything into their practice – various means of fortune reading, gemstones, and devotional candles are commonplace in their shared apartment.

You can find Fleur on Twitter @moonsflora and on the rare occasion, on Instagram @moonsflora_.

[charlyoddsox27]

its 6am, i havent slept, im bored, so im posting a list of the mercs in order of whom i like the most and reasons why, because thats something i should do i guess?

here goes

(spoilers for the comics down below but either way i think im the only person on earth who has never read them before now)

~~~

~~1. Medic~~

reasons for being my favourite:

• fucking. look. at. him. 👌

• 'mad german doctor' is one of my favourite tropes and he is a pretty bang-on satirical depiction of it

• cute-ass german accent

• he has pet pidgeons hE LOVES HIS PIDGEON PALS THEY KEEP HIM COMPANY

• healers are the most respectable class imo and since Medic pretty much started it he's automatically the best, thats how it works right?

• he sold some random persons soul to satan in exchange for a ***ballpoint pen*** and can i just say, fucking mood??? (he is literally the "i'd sell you to satan for one cornchip" meme)

• "yes, Archimedes...I couldn't agree more." *shudders* b oi .. .

• so many more reasons to love this gross old doctor so little room in Tumblrs posts.

~~2. Spy~~

reasons for being my second favourite:

• cranky, done with everyones shit, just wants to be left alone, fucking mood

• he's a spy i mean c'mon. look at the swanky-ass suit, look at the class radiating from this asshole.

• he may be a dick but he has a soft side he's just too jaded to show it most of the time (see: Scouts death in the comics?? real tears. honestly wish they'd panned that out more.)

• masks are hot tbFH--

• he enjoys a nice glass of whisky by the fireplace and so do i (fun fact: france is the biggest importer of scottish whisky in the world so its a nice touch)

• shapeshifting is fucking cool are you serious like he can just. do that. what a legend

• "i have a cyanide pill in one of my molars, if i break it then spit some in your mouth before i die, we can avoid being tortured." *'heavy' bursts in to save them* "PFFTHBTHF--"

• "SEDUCE ME."

• arrogant frenchman is one of my other favourite tropes and this is the most arrogant frenchman ive ever seen

• he's the only fully sane Merc, maybe apart from Engie.

• people love to hate him bc he's an asshole but...come on. after working with all those other weirdos for years, you'd be pretty jaded too.

• as a gross shipper, he's the easiest and the most fun (imo) to ship with Medic (rip me)

~~3. Pyro~~

reasons for being my third favourite:

• would have tied with Soldier if it werent for that one picture of them in the comics holding a puppy over their head with the most adoring expression on their mask??? good Pyro. goodest Pyro.

• doesn't do much in the comics but makes up for it in pure charm. look at that soulless face and tell me you dont love it.

• ambiguous gender ambiguous gender amBIGUOUS GENDER AMBIGUOUS GENDER. she/he/they? trans? nb? whatever you headcanon, it'll never be confirmed so its literally up to your own imagination. fucking ace, Valve 👌👌👌

• likes to burn things. god damnit. they like to burn things, guys. but they enjoy it so much, you just cant hate them, you can only feel a sympathetic joy that this precious lunatic is having fun in their own little world.

• canonically mentally ill (schizoprenia? it could be hallucinogenic drugs but i like to think its schizophrenia.)

• pretty sure they burned a pair of pedophiles in the comics. at least i think thats what those panels were insinuating. "lets open an orphanage and have an endless supply of kids to--" sounds pretty red-flaggy to me tbh. plus they were the villains so, eh?

• bludgeoned a bear to death until its skull was pulp because it insulted their special interest. you go, Pyro.

• for a few bits in the comics they have a really cute family dynamic going on with other Mercs, Soldier for example."Miss Pauling, Pyros on my side of the car." "Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand." fuckin' cuties.

• when they start putting on like 50 shirts to keep warm in the Russian mountains. chubby.

• a gas mask that can function as both badass, and completely adorable.

• just. everything about them. how could you not love them. they're not in the wrong, you are. stay away from my misunderstood child and let them burn things god damnit.

~~4. Soldier~~

look I'm sorry, I love Soldier and he was gonna be tied with Pyro but that fucking puppy drawing sold me.

• absolute gold every second he speaks. he could sneeze and i'll laugh.

• such a dumbass you cant get annoyed at him for it. like. just agree with him and move on. no point reasoning with a boulder. "haha! silly Miss Pauling, thinking theres different types of blood." Medic: "haha yes! indeed, silly."

• HUTTAH *NECK SNAP*

• i'm not American and even i can see how blatantly his character mocks stereotypical Patriotic Americans™. but its so dumb and laughable, its adorable.

• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ZHANNA IS A BLESSING. EVERYTHING.

• the first "meet the Mercs" video i ever saw was "meet the Soldier" so he holds a special place in my heart

• (preaches about experiencing the horrors of war; has never actually been to war. shh dont tell anyone though--) *neck gets snapped*

~~5. Demoman~~

• I'm Scottish. even though his accent is absolute garbage (no offense to the VA), any representation is very nice.

• Black AND Scottish?? i mean has a character like that even existed before TF2??? amazing example of representation right there. there are barely even any black people in Scotland, how did this happen. I love it. more of this, please.

• he's a drunk guy who blows shit up for shits and giggles and god I wish I could too, sounds like a miracle stress-reliever.

• his sassy black scottish mother. combining the stereotypical black mother with the stereotypical scottish mother is literally the best thing that ever happened.

• the bit in the comic where Medic explains that Demo can't remember what happened to his eye bc he scooped out part of his brain, and the look on Demo's face. just. the look.

• again, he's scottish, he's stereotypical, and he's awesome.

~~6. Sniper~~

• underrated

• piss jars. piss jars everywhere.

• "no dad, im not a crazed murdering lunatic, I'm an assassin. ...well one's a job and the other's mental sickness!!"

• "meet the Sniper" has kickass music

• ruffled gross old man who isn't actually old, he's just seen some SHIT

• actually given development in the comics + some really good scenes with Spy.

• so suave...so...handsome. handsome ruffled bushman. me like.

• he dies first in the comics but gets brought back and gets a cool-ass scar. and then he's just walking around naked everywhere for the rest of the comic. Medic, where the fuck did you put his clothes.

• isn't actually Australian. thats like one of the biggest twists in the comic. "no wonder i was never inhumanly strong and my chest hair didn't grow into the shape of Australia!!" Classic.

• says "bugger" a lot and i love that word

• he needs a hug, let me hug him. and give him a bath.

~~7. Heavy~~

I'm gonna be crucified for putting the big lad so low but i promise i dont dislike any of the Mercs. he'd be higher up but...ive never really liked big huge tank-men tbh :/

• loveable as fuck

• will murder you if you bully his puny little Medic

• i looove Russian accents omfg

• he like big gun. i can respect that.

• when Medic was killed and he went APESHIT on Classic!Heavy and I lost my fuckin' mind over that shit

• he probably has a soft spot for small cute animals. i love imagining him being swarmed by Medics flock of doves and petting them like "good bird...so many good bird..."

• actually smarter than people give him credit for???

• i really really wish his character was a lil more fleshed out but. that's just me. i love him but he doesn't have the same appeal to me as Medic or Spy.

• his entire relationship with Medic...ugh. yes. best friends and/or boyfriends. all good to me 👌

• he named his gun Sasha and that's adorable

~~8. Engineer~~

• gOD, FUCK, I REALLY WISH HE DID MORE IN THE COMICS. i barely know anything about his character. i like him a lot but...god, he...he doesn't...do.....anything.......

• he built a cool robot arm for himself and AI turrets and teleporter machines and guns that fire magic healing powers and immortality machines, in the 1960s. what. some kind of wizard fuckery is this.

• smoothest voice in the west

• "y'all"

~~9. Scout~~

oh god i really am gonna be crucified. i dont hate him i just. like him the least.

• shitboy

• reminds me of a shitty ex but also kinda relateable in a way

• some genuinely funny bits in the shorts.

• gross horny hetero teen boy with a god complex and serious daddy issues. also, he can't read. the "sex bom" tattoo on his chest will be an eternal testament to that. nice job, Spy. you raised him good.

~~~

hoo boy there we go theres all the boys, all the beautiful boys (and Scout) in order of how much i love them. if i made any errors in my info about the canon, feel free to send me death threats 💙 (no seriously tell me though, being a newbie is embarrassing)

so uh. yeah. that took two hours to write. its now 8am. im still bored lol. bye i guess.