#the pirates of penzance imagine

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Courting The Pirate King

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(Kevin Kline is literally so hot like the fact that he isn’t mine is such bullshit)

- Many women would consider your reality a tale of great misfortune. Living on a pirate ship with a band of infamous pirates who undoubtedly harass and molest you, ordering you around like a slave and groping at you like a harlot. What a tragic and terrifying life to live!

- If only they knew the truth: that was always your first thought as they peppered you with sympathies and offered you their assistance in escaping your captors. You wondered if their hearts could take the news that you had chosen this life: that the pirates you called crew mates treated you like Queen Victoria herself and used their utmost manners when addressing you.

- Admittedly, you’d been a bit surprised yourself. Like most of the people in your village, you’d assumed that pirates were nothing but trouble: criminals who wouldn’t think twice about stealing from and killing people. And while that might have still been the case; at least on occasion, your pirates proved to be rather empathetic. 

- You’d been …an orphan (*gasp*) when you first met your soon to be crew, torn between trying to find a proper job to support yourself and fighting off marriage proposals from less than desirable men who wished to prey upon your vulnerable state.

- Funnily enough, it was the pirates who showed you the most mercy and kindness: sobbing at your predicament as though the tragedy had befallen them instead of yourself and begging for your forgiveness in regards to their initial brash and impudent ways of addressing you.

- You’d been alone near the shore when they’d arrived at your village, too preoccupied with what you were doing to notice them stalking you from a little ways away. They’d ambushed and attempted to abduct you, hauling you off toward their ship like a living piece of treasure; up until you’d manage to let slip that you were parentless.

- Their leader; a man who may or may not have kissed you breathless only a few moments prior, immediately ordered your release and offered you a place on their ship: on account of the fact that you no longer had a proper home; at least not for very much longer. 

- Though it probably should have, the decision didn’t take you very long to make and in a matter of minutes, you were being led back to your new home by your new king; a nervous hammering in your chest and an arm wrapped delicately around your shoulders.

- I’m not going to use this idea in this story but Richard; the pirate king, is definitely the type of man who would convince you to marry him on the spot in order to secure a place on his ship; especially if you asked to join the crew. He’d laugh and tease you about your request; sharing amused comments with his merry band of thieves, but once you’d make like you were going to leave, he’d hurriedly stop you, mull over the idea, and offer up his own proposition; nervously sweetening the deal with halfhearted promises that it’ll just be in name and things like that. 

- The fact that you’re a beautiful woman is enough to make the pirate king fall for you but if he, by some rare chance, doesn’t love you from the minute he sees you, he falls for you the minute you act even somewhat motherly and caring towards him. Oh, you attempted to look after him when he was stressed or under the weather? Be his wife. 

- From the minute you step foot on his ship, Richard makes it his mission to have you for himself and though he doesn’t make it inherently obvious to you, he still stakes claim on you as soon as you agree to be a part of his crew. The pirates are tenderhearted to begin with but rest assured that their manners and kindness towards you are due in part to their leaders infatuation. 

- Your admirer is determined to show you how great it is to be a pirate and convince you to stay on their ship for as long as possible so he’s always making sure everyone is on their best behavior and that you’re having as much fun as possible. He’s constantly around you, checking in on you and asking how you’re doing, ushering you to join him whenever you step out onto the deck and entertaining you as best as he can. 

- He tries his best to be charming and friendly, flirting with you every now and again and treating you a bit like you’re already his lover. You’ll more or less be none the wiser; your naivety stopping you from seeing how he truly feels about you, but his gaze and tone of voice will make it pretty obvious that he has feelings for you; along with his attempts to go in for a kiss that are always interrupted or otherwise stopped by your obliviousness.  

- For some reason, beneath his typical frustration, he still somewhat assumes that you know there’s a romance brewing between you and that everyone else should understand it as well: that it won’t take you long to come to your senses and that he’s “working on it”. But, on top of that, he also comprehends that you’re not actually together yet so he’s not necessarily allowed to just order you around and tell you what to do or to not look at other men; which puts him in a rather difficult situation. 

- One day, he finds you distraught/lost in worried thought and questions you about it, listening closely as you tell him how you “really shouldn’t say” and how “it’s embarrassing”. Finally, you let slip that you’re in love and he immediately brightens, barely containing his glee as he urges you to share more, thinking that you’re talking about him. 

- He hangs onto your every word as he tries to pull the sensitive information out of you, desperate to hear you confess and listen to the words “I love you” fall from your lips.The love of your life is. The man who owns your heart, yes. Your love, yes, yes, carry on. The apple of your eye isssss~

“Oh, Richard! It’s Frederic!”

“Oh my darli-Come again.”

- He nearly faints upon hearing the revelation and probably collapses after watching you leave the room, letting out a hearty yet contained scream of mortification. You love someone else! How could you love someone else!

- If you’re attentive, you’ll notice him staring grumpily at you; crossing his arms and glaring daggers at the boy who’s taking up your time and affections. He’ll scoff and ask his crewmates if “Frederic” is more attractive than he is or if he’s not “just as handsome as” as the boy; oftentimes following up with a question of whether or not he’s blatantly more attractive than his romantic rival. 

- He’ll also ask how things are going between the two of you and how “our dear friend Frederic is doing” between clenched teeth; finding at least a little comfort in the fact that you’re not getting anywhere with the boy. 

- After a while, he decides to up his game and show you how good of a match he can be for you, doing everything he can to get your attention and impress you. He even orders your crew mates to help convince you and otherwise make him seem cool, instructing them to tell you about how great he is and to urge your eyes in his direction during your conversations with them; oftentimes to where he’s posing and making himself look as handsome as he can. 

- He’s overly kind as well: giving you gifts, acting like a gentleman, complimenting you ad comparing your beauty to the moon or sea, etc. If you had no inclination that he liked you before then you’ll start to notice it now; for obvious reasons. 

- He really just chases and pines after you constantly, so much so that any newcomer can see how he feels about you: how he’s never far away from you, always sneaking glances, how his mood instantly brightens when you’re around and how you have free reign over everything on him and his ship. He’s whipped to the fullest degree. 

- He basically acts like your shadow and portrays himself as your lover when you’re around other people: opening his arms for you to fall into and following you around during your musical numbers to throw an arm around your shoulder and pull you into him, backing you up with a passionate nod. If anyone asks what you are to each other or seems interested in you, he’ll quietly murmur that you’re kind of a thing “so, you know~”. 

- There’s two ways that I can see him confessing his feelings to you~

- One: he’ll just plain grab and lay one on you, kissing you with a ridiculous level of passion after months or even perhaps years of keeping it in. 

- Or two: He’ll explode and say in a very frustrated/angry tone that he “can’t take this nonsense any longer” before breaking down and dramatically sinking to his knees, more or less sobbing as he tells you that you’re “supposed to love [him]”; pleading with you to be with him in the most endearingly pathetic and borderline childishly way possible. 

- Either way, you’ll realize that you have a superior lover right in front of you and agree to be his, stopping him from steering your ship to shore in order to call upon a priest to marry you on the spot and telling him to just kiss you and see what happens; a request he happily complies with. 

- Pirates love a good unmannered display so pda is incredibly prevalent in your relationship. Most people would think that the two of you are attached at the hip with how close he keeps you: giving you little to no personal space and loving on you with no regard for who’s around to see whenever he has the chance. You’re his woman; probably his wife, and he’s completely unphased with the idea of people seeing you being affectionate with each other; unless perhaps he’s trying to seem tough in front of a certain rival. 

- He puts his arm around you a lot; mainly to keep you close and steady as he guides you around. He likes being able to look at you and have your attention on him as much as possible so the close proximity is perfect for him. 

- He likes to hold you in place so he can gaze at you lovingly; usually by holding your upper arms or both of your hands while you stand fondly in front of him. He’ll also pull you into tight hugs and different close embraces, relishing in your presence and the feel of your skin against his.

- Richard doesn’t really do “cute little kisses”; he prefers to kiss you like a man and take your breath away, but when he’s particularly in the mood, he’ll kiss up the lengths of your arms and peck your hands and shoulders. He’ll also lovingly accept your chaste kisses without complaint; unless he’s really looking for a long and much more involved kiss. 

- Being dipped into passionate kisses. Richard is concerningly good at kissing; so much so that a single kiss can make your head spin and get you to forget what you were saying. He’s a menace but he’s a menace you can’t live without.

- Him laying his head in your lap or draping himself over you in a very overdramatic and theatrical way is a rather common occurrence in your relationship; especially when he’s upset about something. If his weight is balanced on top of you, your cooing and consoling doesn’t come long after; it’s just a routine at this point. 

- Richard is arguably at least a good bit taller than you but it’s rare to find him acting as the big spoon whenever the two of you are cuddling. It’s much more common for him to snuggle into your bosom and make you worry about how much air he’s receiving while you lavish him with affection; or curl yourself around his upper body while you both lay on your sides. If someone knocks on your door, you’re usually the one to tiredly open it: though it isn’t long before he trails after you sleepily; his hair a mess and his eyes half open as he wraps himself around you and listens to the persons excuses for waking you. 

- Ridiculous amounts of pet names. Darling, dearest, dearest one, kitten, light of my life, lovely, my angel, my beloved, my goddess, my love, my moon, My queen, my siren, pip, poppet: and that’s not even all! Does he even remember your name at this point? You’re not sure!

- He’s completely whipped for you and everyone knows it but just doesn’t care; mainly because they’re equally whipped for you. You know how easy it is for you to fake cry and get what you want? Oh, you’re sad? Oh my dearest what’s the matter? I’ll do anything to see you happy again! Do you want jewels? A dress? Perhaps you’d like to go on land and relax? We could get you food? A kitten, do you want a kitten? I can dance or tell you a story or sing or-

- Like I said before: everyone else is whipped for you just as much as he is. Your crewmates either view you as a sister, daughter, or mother and they’re definitely prone to treating you as such: constantly being at your beck and call and lavishing you with attention. You’re never at a loss for something to do or someone to be around; though it’s not like Richard’s ever too busy to be around you anyways. 

- Speaking of how him and his crew act around you: they’re stereotypically terrified of you whenever you get your period; treating you like a dangerous animal that can snap at any moment and bending over backwards so as to not accidentally upset you. 

- He’s not great with gross stuff but he’s too sweet to abandon you so he’ll come and rub your back or hold your hair when you get seasick: all with a grimace on his face that quickly turns into a loving attempt to give you a comforting smile whenever you look at him.

- He tries so hard to make you happy and go on proper dates with you but he’s so not used to being on land and/or in well established buildings like theaters or tea houses. He was once a nobleman so I’m sure he can cope but he’s completely out of his element; more like a bull in a china shop than the graceful king you’re so used to.

- Rumors will definitely spread about the pirate queen but since you’re new to the predicament, you’ll be able to hide who you and your husband are as you dock and peruse a town. That being said: oftentimes you’ll be in a shop and have to awkwardly reassure the shopkeep that your husband won’t kill anyone as he bursts into the building like a maniac; unused to acting civilized and wondering why you’re bothering being polite and normal.

- Being completely in sync to an amusing degree. You both scramble to make sure everything's alright as your lover more or less acts like a bull in a china shop, clumsily moving around and assuming that everything is perfect and in place. You run after him and make sure he doesn’t fling himself off the boat, fall on his head, or shatter something on the ground, and he catches you in his arms and makes sure you don't stumble and fall, etc.

- Being impressed by how much he knows his way around a ship. You’d watch him swing and hold himself up on ropes and moving parts and how he jumps and moves around so effortlessly and wonder how long it took him to learn as you yourself stumble around; unused to the constant swaying and movement of being out on sea.

- Given the fact that he’s holding onto you more often than not, I think you’d slowly start to adopt his way of staggering around and find yourself walking very similarly to him; something him and his crew take notice of and find great amusement in.

- Him teaching you how to swordfight.

-  He’s simultaneously ridiculously smooth yet clumsy at the same time. You’ll oftentimes have to take him aside and treat his wounds after he forgets not to hold out a sword a certain way or gets overzealous with how well he can dodge a part of a ship.

- Richard is; at his core, a drama queen and you can’t help but love him for it. It’s not rare for you to find yourself consoling him as he weeps into your arms; usually upon hearing an orphans tragic tale, or to see him cling to his cremates in terror as you find yourself in even the slightest hint of danger. At least you’ll always know how he really feels, right?

- Getting told stories about how great him and his crew are. He’s very proud of their infamy and villainous status, and he may or may not embellish details to make them seem much more devious and impressive.

- He steals things specifically for you whenever they pillage another ship or city and does whatever he can to get you everything you could ever want/ask for. He spoils you like a true nobleman who’s gone wrong and he’s rather proud of it.

- I mentioned it before but you have free reign over literally everything. He’s a slave to your whims and has a hard time saying no to you and/or moving your hands away from him so you’re more or less allowed to do whatever you want to him.

- He’s a man who longs for unbounded domesticity so you can rest assured that he loves having you fuss over and dote on him. He’s not even embarrassed about it; blatantly melting the minute you show him affection or try to take care of him in the slightest. Blame it on the fact that he’s a sensitive and tenderhearted orphan. 

- He gets distracted by your beauty and looks at you like you’re an angel more than he’d care to admit. Beneath his fearsome pirate king persona, he’s really just an adorable softie who loves his wife. 

- He keeps your handkerchief on him like a good luck charm.

- If you weren’t an orphan when the two of you first met, you’d definitely spark up a secret romance right under your parents noses. He’d visit your window and romance you in the dead of night: telling you how he’ll whisk you away as soon as you say the words and asking for kisses as you gaze at him fondly from inside.

- Promises between the two of you are inadvertently, truly inescapable and it’s by his own design. He’s very thorough and particular about the circumstances of the promises he gets you to make; like how you promised to stay in bed all day or on the ship for a full week and you still have an hour left “thank you very much”, but consequently, he also has to abide by these very technical and literal terms so congrats, your lover played himself.

- A lot of the time he just assumes you understand what he’s saying when he brings up arbitrary details and random memories, and when you don’t automatically read his mind and figure it out, he gets somewhat frustrated. He’d probably try to ask you for some alone time or try to propose to you the same way and then have to put it plainly with a bit of exasperation when you merely stare at him in confusion.

- Spending time in the captains quarters. You love your crew and so does he but sometimes you just need to be alone and have some quiet time with your lover; especially since he tries to tongue you at like 9 a.m. in front of god and everybody.

- Picnics on the poop deck.

- Getting danced with and around.

- Even after you get together, he still makes an effort to pose around you and make you think that he’s “naturally” swoon worthy and handsome, and though it’s occasionally more ridiculous than anything else, you unfortunately have to admit that it does work every now and again. Although, he’s usually surprised to find that you’re actually more affected by him acting normal than you are by him acting like a model. 

- He loves, loves, loves receiving compliments and gives them back to you sevenfold. Praise is his love language and he spoils you with it; especially when he thinks that you’re in a bad mood for one reason or another.

- He’s so proud of and amazed by your talents. He makes you feel like a professional with the way he responds and forces the others around you to respond; even though you’re really probably just a bit above average. 

- Even before the two of you get together, Richard is adamant that you speak freely with him and voice your opinions wherever you have them. He thinks you’re smart and honest and trusts you more than anyone else in his crew so he’s constantly looking to you for guidance and for reassurance that he’s not a failure.

- Stopping him from accepting that someone's an orphan just because they say they are. Your responsibility is to see past their bullshit and let him know when someone's lying to him; which is partially how you become his lover and his confidante. You’re his right hand wo-man who’s typically found with his right hand somewhere on your buttocks. 

- You would undoubtedly adopt an orphan boy and I’m not even going to pretend as though you wouldn’t. 

- Richard is exactly the type of pirate to have a runaway lover who moves on yet is later confronted with their ex husband while being held hostage on his ship years down the line. They’ll inform their confused companion that this pirate is “an old acquaintance” while the king informs them that he’s “they’re husband” with a pointed look cast towards the tied up woman.

- On one hand, Richard is very proud and wants to brag about you to everyone who will or won’t listen, but on the other hand, he doesn’t like other men acknowledging how amazing you are. He’ll turn to someone and say something like “isn’t she wonderful” but as soon as they nervously agree, he glares at them and tells them how you’re his and to stop looking. 

- Depending on the circumstance, he’ll either be a pouty, childishly jealous person who insists that they’re better than whoever you’re paying attention to, or he’ll growl at and threaten others for so much as looking at you; even though you’re purposefully putting on a show. 

- He probably flirts with other women as a force of habit: usually before he catches sight of you and guiltily backpedals on what he was saying, uncomfortably and awkwardly acting as though he wasn’t doing anything while you glare daggers at him. He learns his lesson pretty quickly once you make a point of flirting with other men; men who unfortunately have to deal with his silent and pointed threats while he tries to appeal to you and insist that it was just a mistake.

- Richard has used himself as a meat shield for you so I think it’s safe to say that he’s rather protective. Regardless of the situation, he’s always looking out for you and making sure everyone is treating you accordingly; even if you’re not necessarily in a lot of danger. 

- He’s understanding and kind yet a bit short tempered so it isn’t rare for you to have a good amount of arguments. He’s emotional and will bicker with you or raise his voice but his anger leaves him almost as quickly as it came and he finds himself sorry for even having started the fight. 

- It’s usually the drama that gets you to forgive him. He’ll move in close and try to appeal to you as you childishly refuse to speak or look at him, moving around as he begs you to talk to him and get you to meet his eyes. He’ll then sink to his knees and tell you to kill him if you want, to be merciful and end him quickly because your silence is already killing him; usually before taking your hand and kissing it tenderly as you finally accept his apology. 

- He tells you he loves you often and a bit shyly; especially if you’re in front of captives. He won’t be able to just not reply when you say it or when you go to leave each others sides so he’ll usually say it all sweetly before coughing and clearing his throat in order to go back to his macho pirate persona. 

- He’s two seconds away from calling in a clergyman and marrying you on the spot at any given moment so rest assured that he’s in it for the long run and absolutely in love with you.

[nextonormal]

I would actually give anything for a recording of Hadley as Frederic

[bumblingest-bee]

the opening sentence of this wikipedia page will always be hysterical to me

[bevcrushes]

next up in my tng novel reads is dragon’s honor and we’re only on chapter one and already we’re imagining bev doing fucking pirates of penzance and hms pinafore lmao

[lucky-clover-gazette]

“raphael sings his song” “he does an opera/ballad” he talks it. he sings like one note in the entire thing. korilla is the person singing. raphael rhythmically talks. he does a lin manuel miranda. he does a will shuester rap. he “sings” that thing like a tv actor who is being forced to partake in a musical episode. i point this out both bc it’s extremely funny that even his greatest accolade in the fans’ collective consciousness isn’t actually earned, which is very pathetic and appropriate, and because i want everyone to imagine a world in which he did actually sing the song. like in my mind he would have KILLED a patter song* like the major-general in pirates of penzance. a song like that wouldn’t have required too much vocal range, and it would have played to the actor’s strengths. the character uses language with so much complexity and skill in his spoken dialogue and written journal entries, to have his song lyrics be simple and 2010s-era disneylike is just so tragic to me :’(

*“The patter song is characterised by a moderately fast to very fast tempo with a rapid succession of rhythmic patterns in which each syllable of text corresponds to one note. It is a staple of comic opera… The lyric of a patter song generally features tongue-twisting rhyming text, with alliterative words and other consonant or vowel sounds that are intended to be entertaining to listen to at rapid speed. The song is often intended as a showpiece for a comic character, usually a bass or baritone. The singer should be capable of excellent enunciation while singing quickly to perform the song to maximum effect…. These are often songs telling how the character rose to an undeserved distinguished position, or they may contain a catalogue or list.” (Wikipedia)

[pdalicedraws]

Watched the 1983 Pirates of Penzance again day before yesterday, then devoured A Restless Truth over the course of yesterday and today… so of course every time someone mentioned Maud’s little rosebud mouth I was just imagining Linda Ronstadt as Mabel.

[spineless-lobster]

I think it’s interesting that the Captain loves Gilbert and Sullivan so much because not only is it musical theatre, but I e noticed there are some common themes in most Gilbert and Sullivan operettas. (Especially the ones Cap mentions, The Pirates of Penzance and The Mikado)

The Pirates of Penzance (as well as HMS Pinafore) focus on themes of forbidden love, in PoP it’s because the main character is a pirate. In HMSP it’s due to class differences.

I can imagine a young Cap, wondering why the feelings he’s having towards other boys is so frowned upon. And seeing those concerns reflected in the opera.

The Mikado is a satirical take on capital punishment, the crime in the opera that’s punishable by death is flirting. Now, I’m not saying Gilbert intended that to be some Victorian commentary on gay rights; but being sentenced to death for loving someone is not an exclusively heterosexual problem.

The fact that the Captain (along with Fanny) canonically praised the opera for it’s comedy regarding this theme kind of says a lot about him. He puts up this front of a stiff upper lip perfect English gentleman but reality he despises the establishment of his era.

The last thing I want point out is that (as far as I know) every Gilbert and Sullivan opera ends with a happy ending. The forbidden lovers manage to beat the system via some sort of loophole and they get to live happily ever after.

I think the Captain loves these operas so much because he gets to see people who cannot love who they want to due to an oppressive system; people like him, receive the happy ending he wishes he could have.

He gets to have second-hand queer euphoria along with catchy songs and funny jokes, all while presenting himself as socially acceptable. And I think he deserves that happiness.

[hybbart]

In the music taste post you said

“I think the only think they disagree on is probably metal and such that has harsh noises, cause Jimmy can't mimic it without hurting his throat and it's a bit too much for his ears. Tango isn't a big fan of musical tracks either probably.” Does that mean Jimmy is a musical enjoyer? If so what shows or kind of shows does he like (aside from Mamma Mia)?

(Also, I apologize about the ask on your other account, I got mixed up and meant to ask it on this page. Ill make sure to ask on only this page unless you would rather me ask on the other page)

I dunno about atually going to the theatre very much since he lived out in the middle of nowhere and doesn't have the attention span for it, but in all universes Jimmy loves singing and karaoke to me (even if not very good at it) so musicals are a given for birbs.

Probably a lot of more big popular movies like classic disney musicals, footloose and grease, hairsprat for sure, little shop of horrors, maybe moulin rouge and coyote ugly? Also I feel like at some point he watched the cats movie with his friends and they dragged him to see the "good real show" and he still didn't get it but he remembers some of the songs. I think the only musical he's seen of his own volition is pirates of penzance and I think he probably knows wicked only from a soundtrack recording.

He likes mostly silly happy sounding ones, so I don't think he would like sruff like les miserables, phantom of the opera, or the dolls of new albion (though I doubt he would know that last one, he's very much a more mainstream sorta guy) and doesn't know any musical adaptations of movies like legally blonde and such. He mighta heard one or two of them from Lizzie but probably not. I also doubt he's heard very many foreign musicals so not any bollywood musicals or film red.

I'm going to give him the chipmunk movies and cds, not because I think it's something he would like but because I think Jimmy Solidarity trying to sing chipmunk songs would possibly be THE most painful sound imaginable that would test even Tango's patience.

I think Tango probably knows a lot of phineas and ferb songs and thats probably their one common ground, though Tango would probably never in a million years be able to find the tracks for it to play for Jimmy. Musicals singing is probably something Jimmy does more with his siblings and Pearl, and doesn't force Tango to listen to too many unless theyre having a karaoke night. There probably are some musicals Tango would loke if he heard them but I don't think theyre ones that Jimmy knows or likes, and I doubt Tango is willing to take a shot with them when he knows he doesn't care for them usually.

[thenightling]

I liked the movie Wonka and there are a LOT of subtle and not-so-subtle references to other musicals through it. Here are a list of the ones I recognized. 1. Wonka's hopeful arrival in the big city is like an inverted version of "No place like London" from Sweeney Todd in that it's joyous and hopeful despite people waiting to cheat him. It's a bit like Fun City from the never released Man who fell to Earth musical but sung by the would-be target. 2. Mrs. Scrubbit's name is a punny play on Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Toodd. 3. Mrs. Scrubbit and Bleacher are very easily equatable to the Thenardiers from Les Miserables, especially when you see how they trump up how much Wonka owes them. 4. Noodle is a cross between Cosette from Les Miserables and Little Orphan Annie. 5. When Wonka gets bribed with money to free his friends from indentured servitude after his shop is wrecked this is very similar to Jack being bribed in Newsies. 6. Wonka showing up at the window to break out Noodle was similar to Jack wanting to rescue Crutchie in Newsies. 7. Wonka going back after the bribe to save his friends is also like Jack from Les Miserables. 8. The indentured servitude contracts remind me of the one from Pirates of Penzance in how ridiculously long they are. 9. The "Scrub Scrub" song is a lot like A Hard Knock Life from Annie. 10. The Oompa Loompa Song and Pure Imagination (Though with different words) are from the 1971 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. 11. Noodle's book obsession could be a little nod to Belle in Beauty and the Beast. 12. Noodle's dream of her mother is a lot like Cosette's Castle on a Cloud only about a mother in a home full of books. 13. The Tango of "Do you have a Sweet Tooth?" is very similar to the modified version of Roxanne for Moulin Rouge in that it's persuading a character and done to the tune of a catchy tango. 14. Bonus: All the names are blunt references to what the characters actually are. Noodle is the smart girl. Abacus Crunch is an accountant (an abacus is an ancient adding device and crunching the numbers is a term for doing taxes and figuring out what's owed or what you can keep). A woman named "Bell" worked as a telephone operator, and Scrubbit and Bleacher own a laundry cleaning service. There are many other blunt as a hammer name clues. That isn't quite a musical thing but that is a thing from J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter franchise. That's why I put that in as a bonus.

[wuxiaphoenix]

Editing: With Catlike Tread....

Yes, please, imagine all the clash and clatter from Pirates of Penzance. Editing be like that.

So. Slow progress is being made. I have a list of things I need to look for as I go through the draft again. I also have a 7-page in 10-pt collection of Spots to Fix. Specifically, 34 of them. Some are massive. (Need to read bits of these three books to sketch this scene, to then get it fleshed out and in the text.) Some... not so much. (Some more room desc here.)

On the one hand, thirty-four edit spots is a lot. On the other hand, thirty-four is a known and finite amount, compared to “Oh no so many places in the draft need to be fixed I can’t face it augh flop.”

I am all in favor of breaking big amorphous lumps of Task into smaller Subtasks. Like that old story about how you eat an elephant - one bite at a time.

This is also, for those more tech-minded, how you go about writing a computer program. First, define the problem. Only then should you break the task at hand into smaller steps that, once executed, should solve the problem.

I doubt AI will be doing this anytime soon. What’s the best place for you to start editing is never going to be the same as what’s best for another writer. Your weak points and missteps will be completely different.

For example, looking at my list of trouble spots I can pick out that most of them are things I know I have problems with in general. Setting description and body language especially. I get caught up in what’s going on, and forget to pull out sensory cues so the reader who is not in my head can see it. Known problem. Probably always going to have to work on that. All of you likely have your own particular grumpy trouble spots.

But one edit is fixed! I went through the whole draft to check all the interactions with and actions of that slippery medic character. I think I now have her more consistent with the backstory in my head. Knock on wood.

So one general edit down, about eight other general things that need look-overs, and 34 specific trouble spots. I can do this. Just don’t ask me how fast....

One step at a time. I get through every novel, one step at a time.

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Miss Haley Hotchner [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@happyheidi) Center (@ssamorganhotchner) Right (Press Coffee via their website)

Prompt: How the reader comes to have a friendship with Haley because of their shared interest in house plants.  

Pairing: Hotch x gender-neutral reader. The reader uses they/them pronouns. 

Category: Fluff and domesticity. 

Word Count: 7.2K

Content Warnings: Brief mention of a case and unsub (kidnapping), mention of Aaron's abuse (beatings).

A/N: Good evening, loves! Today I give you a soft little domestic piece. I can imagine supporting you in your hobbies and passions, and this is just indulging in that fantasy. Full transparency the plant person in my family is my sister, not me, so if I get some stuff wrong about the plants, sorry. Here is another odd tie-in to Aaron. My sister was also in a production of Pirates of Penzance in the summer, so I’m familiar with the musical now. The song “Major General “ is very impressive. Even being in the chorus would be hard. I’ll link a video of it below the story. That’s what I’ve got. If you like the story, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you have a great rest of your week! Love Levi - ❤️ 

P.S. The gang wanted some domestic Hotch yesterday, so I'm tagging y'all. I hope this helps: @hotchs-big-hands @sleeperwillow

List with all stories

_y/n_ = your name 

_y/f/c_ = your favorite color 

_s/o/c_’s = strands or curls 

_y/f/c/d_ = your favorite coffee drink

_y/n_moved down the bustling street toward the upscale coffee shop. _y/n_ had half begged Aaron that morning to have him come with them in a voice that was laced more with sleep than wakefulness. _y/n_ had sleepily shifted their weight on top of his hips, straddling his body, hand pressing close to his chest. _y/n_ kissed his cheek and neck sloppily with half-closed eyes. Aaron had hummed gently, the sound rumbled in his chest and reverberated through _y/n_’s body. Hotch moved his head to the side and up a little to give her better access to his skin. While _y/n_ kissed him, his hands made their way to _y/n_'s lower back and the other to their left shoulder blade. Hotch put some pressure on these areas, warming them, as he stroked over the warm skin covered by the thin layer of their _y/f/c_ sleeping shirt. After a moment of his soft intimacy, Aaron spoke, saying, “It’s not going to work, _y/n_. I can’t go with you.” _y/n_ pulled back and pouted. They leaned down and kissed his warm lips before pulling back, now more awake after having spent some time against their lover. _y/n_ smiled and asked, “Why can’t you come with me? Just because you have a black thumb doesn’t mean you’ll kill anyone else’s plant.” Aaron chuckled; he knew that wasn’t fully true, but that wasn’t the reason why he couldn’t accompany _y/n_, and Aaron replied, “No it’s not my inability to keep a plant alive, it’s that Jack is coming over and we have soccer in…” Aaron turned his head to look at the clock on the nearby nightstand, he turned back to looking at _y/n_ and finished his sentence with, “two hours.” At hearing this, _y/n_ smiled and placed their head on his chest. Brushing their cheek against the dark hairs growing there. When their head came to rest on his breastbone, Aaron moved his left hand up the nape of _y/n_’s neck and into the base of _y/n_’s hair. He combed through the _s/o/c_’s in a repetitive motion. Sometimes Hotch thought of _y/n_ like a very affectionate cat. The way _y/n_ loved physical intimacy. Not just sexual intimacy, which they also enjoyed very much together, but there was a desire to just be close to Aaron that he hadn’t experienced in years. The last time he had been this open with his body with someone had been in high school with Haley. Back then, he had been seeking comfort for slightly different reasons.

Given the physical abuse he endured during his childhood, the near-daily beatings had left him vulnerable. Weary of touch. Any type of touch, not just intimate touch. When he had seen Haley for the first time, and they had shook hands, it was the first time he had welcomed someone to interact with his body in years. He had come to crave that feeling for her, and the fact that Aaron was so able to give and receive physical touch and intimacy with _y/n_ now was a testament to the healing and growth he had done over the years. _y/n_ never overdid it. They knew he had his limits, and that he could become a bit overwhelmed. It was their mutual understanding of the other that had made their relationship work. That and the fact that they were very open in their communication. If Hotch or _y/n_ did something that upset the other, they took the time to talk it out. Sometimes they had to take a break if the argument was bigger and more personal, but those tiffs were rare, and they managed to compromise. Sometimes, they even found those arguments had strengthened their relationship. Aaron was pulled back to the present as _y/n_ said, “I’m sorry I forgot Jack was coming. Maybe I can go next month, I haven’t seen Jack in what feels like a while.” Aaron moved up and kissed the tip of _y/n_’s nose and replied, “You don’t have to darling. I know you’ve been looking forward to this plant swap for a long time. And, you saw Jack last week, remember? We picked him up and dropped him off at Haley’s.” _y/n_ made a small, disappointed sound. Aaron wrapped his arms around them and said, “Plus, I don’t blame you for not remembering. Haley called me late last night asking if I could watch him. You were already half asleep. Like you are now.” He said the last point in a joking manner. At this point, _y/n_ was fully awake. One of Aaron’s favorite things to do was tease them that they were always tired. They were often yawning at home, but never in the office or field. Also in a teasing manner, _y/n_ picked up one of the pillows near the head of the bed. They gently hit Hotch on the chest, while he used his hands to block the blow. As _y/n_ raised their hands again, Aaron captured their wrists and used his legs and knees to strongly hold _y/n_’s waist. He rolled to his side then so that he was now on top of _y/n_ straddling their body.

The pillow fight was suddenly forgotten as he leaned down and captured _y/n_’s mouth with his own. Aaron intensified the kiss and when they moved apart for air, _y/n_ let out a small gasp. They said, “No fair using your strength against me like that, A.” Aaron smiled, eyes twinkling with a playful desire. Hotch shifted his weight back so his upper thighs were resting against his calves and ankles. _y/n_ moved their arms up to support them. One hand held their weight and the other moved to stroke down their love’s sharp jaw. Hotch said, “I think you should go to your thing. You should have your own hobbies and interests. It’s good for you. And you can always see Jack after practice. Haley asked for us to watch him until 2:00 p.m.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “Okay. I’ll go. But if I have a good time then I am dragging you to it next month. I think you’ll like this coffee shop no matter if plants are involved or not.” Aaron gave _y/n_ one more quick kiss and said, “Of course, love. That’s a promise.”  

         _y/n_ wiggled out from Aaron’s body and he looked at them with affection as they put on pants and moved to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Hotch also got out of bed and moved to the kitchen to get some kind of breakfast and coffee started. After they had eaten, _y/n_ moved to get dressed and grab their bag. They and Aaron had had the “‘Let’s move in together talk together,’ but they were waiting for _y/n_’s lease to end and for Aaron to figure out one legally technical thing on his lease, so even though they spent most nights together at either’s space, they still technically lived separately. One of the things that _y/n_ hadn’t moved over to his place yet was their small house plant collection. It was small now, consisting of only five easy-to-care-for plants. Thus, they were going to need to make a pit stop at their place about a half hour away to pick up their propagation and the Pothos they were hoping to trade with the other plant enthusiasts at the swap. When _y/n_ had everything gathered, they moved and kissed Aaron and asked, “Should I meet you and Jack back here, or did you have plans after practice?” Aaron thought for a moment and said, “Jack’s been asking to go out to pizza recently, so I’ll ask him if he wants to do that today. I’ll text you what he decides.” _y/n_ smiled, nodded, and replied, “Alright, well I look forward to it.” Aaron nodded and stepped forward. He pushed the strap of their shoulder bag back up onto their shoulder, as it had started moving down their arm. He leaned down and kissed the top of _y/n_’s forehead, saying, “Drive safe please.” _y/n_ nodded and as Aaron opened the door for them _y/n_ said “I will. I always do.” 

And that was why _y/n_ was walking to the coffee shop that was hosting its monthly plant swap. _y/n_ had parked down the street given it was a busy part of the city. Ss _y/n_ stepped inside the shop, the interior was perfect for plant people as it looked like a mini greenhouse or even smaller arboretum. The walls and ceilings of glass allowed the soft light of the sun in. _y/n_ set their small plant offerings on one of the shared tables next to a man who had much more impressive plants on show. _y/n_ hoped that there was someone as novice as them at growing plants. _y/n_ wasn’t ready for misters or grow light yet. Right now growing and maintaining the little indoor garden that they didn’t want to think about much more commitment than watering and opening the blinds for an hour or so in the morning. _y/n_ moved to the counter and ordered a _y/f/c/d_. _y/n_ moved back to wait for their order. They took the time to look over the room and see the rest of those holding plants, many of the people here for the swap were already chatting, clearly knowing each other already. _y/n_ didn’t mind this. They were new to the community, only having joined one Facebook group for plant owners in Virginia,  and a Discord server about the care and maintenance of house plants in the North where the sun was less intense and the winters made it hard to keep certain plants alive. When _y/n_’s name was called, they moved to the counter. Just as they got their drink, the doorbell rang and _y/n_ looked over and their eyes went wide. Haley was walking through the door with a bag that appeared to have three plants inside. From the small tips of the growing material that could be seen from the lip of the bag, Haley’s plants were far more impressive than theirs. Haley looked over to the place where you ordered your drinks. As she did this, her eyes met _y/n_’s and Mrs. Hotchner’s eyes similarly went wide. Slightly awkwardly, _y/n_ raised their hand and gave a tentative smile. Haley mimicked their hand movement but didn’t smile per se. Even if Aaron’s ex-wife didn’t smile, there was a soft kindness in Haley’s eyes, and that set _y/n_ at ease. _y/n_ moved back to her spot at the table. It was a few minutes before someone more their speed entered the coffee shop. The woman had bright auburn hair. She wore a long skirt, a gold star belt, and a sleeveless top. The young free spirit was so magnetic that _y/n_ was intrigued. The woman was so different from the stiff shirts that _y/n_ experienced at the bureau that they wanted to just say hello to this person, even if she didn’t have any plants they wanted. 

_y/n_ waited for the woman to get her drink and get settled on one of the communal tables. _y/n_ was very excited to see the woman pull out a healthy-looking snake plant. Internally _y/n_ punched the air, ‘Perfect,’ they thought! This was exactly their speed. _y/n_ grabbed their plant offerings and moved to sit across from the woman. The auburn-haired individual smiled, as _y/n_ sat down and said, “Hi!” The woman’s face was radiant. _y/n_ genuinely smiled back and said, “Hello. I’m so glad to see someone with plants that aren’t over a hundred dollars.” The woman nodded and said, “Tell me about it. You’re the first person to come here who has something I feel comfortable trading with. Are you new to the area? I’m Willow by the way.” _y/n_ extended their hand and said, “_y/n_, _y/l/n_, and to answer your question, I’ve lived here for a few years. I’m just new to the plant world per se.” Willow nodded and replied, “Well welcome. You’ll find most people here are unproblematic. Would you like to swap either a plant or a propagation I’d trade my Chinese Money plant for your Pothos. I don’t have one with those colors yet. It’s very pretty.” _y/n_ thought about it and then agreed to trade their plant for the Chinese Money plant. Willow asked, “So how did you hear about this meet-up? I’m in public relations and I’m always interested in how people come together around a shared hobby.” _y/n_ replied, “Well I got into plants when a friend gave me a pencil cactus as a gift. I really wanted to keep it alive because they were moving across the country for a new job. I had to do research and I found the community. Once my Google search results found out I was into plants now, things started popping up on all my social media, including this plant swap. I was a lurker for a long time, to be honest. It was my partner that encouraged me to finally come today.” Willow smiled at her and said, “We love a supportive partner. Go them. My poor girlfriend keeps half begging me to stop coming here given our house is now overrun with her cats and my plants. Space is at a premium.” _y/n_ giggled at Willow's statement and said, “Thankfully I’m not that deep into the hobby yet, but I know what you mean.” The pair talked for a while longer. Once Willow had finished her matcha latte, she stood and shook _y/n_’s hand saying, I hope to see you again next month! It was a pleasure meeting you.” They smiled back and replied, “Same here, Willow. Thanks for being so nice to me?” The woman flushed just a bit and then moved out of the shop. 

Once Willow was out of the room, _y/n_ felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickled. Like someone was looking at them. _y/n_ had felt this on and off during the twenty-minute conversation they had with Willow. _y/n_ turned her gaze to where they knew Haley was sitting. Haley couldn’t turn her gaze away fast enough for _y/n_ not to catch her staring. Haley blushed a bit, embarrassed for being caught. _y/n_ looked at her phone. It was still only 9:30 p.m. Jack’s practice would have just started fifteen minutes ago. It would go for another two hours. _y/n_ decided to sit and have another drink. She could do that and still catch the last hour or so of the team’s drills and practice game. _y/n_ remembered Aaron’s comments in the morning that they deserved rest and hobbies, even if that was just enjoying a high-quality latte and people-watching. Also, something about Haley being here made them want to stay. Not that _y/n_ was trying to snoop or pry into Aaron’s ex-wife’s life. It was more like a desire to share this space with her. _y/n_ and Haley’s relationship was little. _y/n_ felt that they knew more about Haley than Haley did about them. Given that Aaron was an open communicator, he had detailed their relationship; its rise and eventual fall. What Haley knew about them was unknown. Of course, she knew that they were a part of the BAU. Perhaps because they and Aaron had gotten into a relationship it had felt like rubbing salt in a wound. _y/n_ hoped it wasn’t that way. They and Aaron had both waited a respectful time before they had admitted their feelings for each other. It had all been very proper, per Hotch’s standards as a boss and a gentleman. Being here with Haley felt like a good first step. Even if they didn’t speak at all.

         As _y/n_ sat and watched the ebb and flow of traffic into the coffee shop, they watched as deals and trades were made with some normal and some exotic plants alike. It was a peaceful environment. However, now and then _y/n_ would look over to Haley. Haley was continually looking at her phone and the door. There was a slight look of concern on her face. After another few minutes, _y/n_ couldn’t take it anymore. _y/n_ stood and moved to sit next to Haley, no matter how uncomfortable or awkward the conversation was going to be. _y/n_ couldn’t let this person whom they were close to through Aaron be in distress, even if it seemed minor. Haley looked up at _y/n_ as they sat. She let out a small exhale. _y/n_ looked over Haley once more, the strained look was still there, and they said, “Mrs… Hotchner…” As soon as the title came out, they mentally face-palmed, thinking they should have thought about what to call Aaron’s ex before coming over. However, the words were out there, and they couldn’t take them back. So _y/n_ swallowed and continued, “I couldn’t help but notice you seem upset. Is everything okay? I know you asked Aaron to have Jack last night. Are you alright?” Given the nature of the job, _y/n_’s mind could go to bad places quickly. Partners and even ex-partners of FBI agents could become targets for bad people easily. At their comment, Haley gave a small, almost sad smile as she said, “You profilers man. Nothing escapes you, does it?” _y/n_ didn’t know how to respond to the rhetorical question. Thankfully, Haley filled in the silence, saying, “It’s nothing serious really. I’m waiting for this guy, Richard. He’s kind of a big deal in the plant world. I’ve been courting him on and off for months to come down and swap a small false bird of paradise propagation with me. He finally relented last night, thus the need for Aaron to look after Jack.” There was more to Haley’s words than she was letting on. Her use of the word, “court,” plus the need for her son to be absent at this meeting felt a bit clandestine. If there were romantic intentions, _y/n_ wasn’t going to bring it up. They had no right to comment. After all, they were romantically involved with her ex-husband. After another second, the door clinked open and Haley looked up anticipatorily. Her face lightened. It was clear that ‘Richard’ was with them now. In a moment of almost teenage girlhood insecurity, Haley asked _y/n_, “How do I look?” _y/n_ smiled and replied, “Stunning.” They weren’t lying. _y/n_ could see why Aaron had been attracted to Ms. Haley Hotchner nee Brooks. There was a small smudge of lipgloss just out of the lines of her mouth. _y/n_ pointed it out to her, and Haley said, “Thanks, _y/n_. You’re a lifesaver.” _y/n_ just smiled and moved out of their seat to give the two space. They didn’t stick around after that. It was one thing to be in the same room with Haley, it was another to crash a potential date of hers. It would be like Haley sitting on one of _y/n_’s and Aaron’s date night. The thought made them cringe.

         As _y/n_ drove toward the park where Jack practiced soccer at every other weekend, they reflected on how funny it was that both they and Haley had this shared interest. When _y/n_ had revealed to Aaron that they had a small plant collection, he had asked, “Are you being serious?” For a second _y/n_ thought there might be a serious issue with this. They wondered if Hotch had some rare allergy to house plants or something bizarre like that. However, Aaron had clarified that Haley had also kept houseplants as well. This was when he had also revealed his black thumb to them. Similarly, even though _y/n_ wasn’t hardcore into theaters and musicals, they had friends who were, so they were obliged to know at least three musical lyrics at a time depending on the mood of their good old high school friends. So when Aaron had revealed that he met Haley because of a production of Pirates of Penzance, _y/n_ had naturally said, “Oh Gilbert and Sullivan. That’s cool!” Hotch had been dumbfounded. He’d never, in his life heard of the musical before, and here was _y/n_ with an apparent deep knowledge of the old opera. _y/n_ had reassured him quickly that they hadn’t stalked his early years or anything, just perhaps knew more about the musical and opera scene than most. They had teased him anytime he brought up his musical inability. They would say, “Hey, you were pirate number four, and I’m sure the best pirate number four that ever was. That meant you sang in the chorus of “Major General.” That can’t be easy.” Aaron had blushed at his and said, “Well, I mouthed most of the words, to be honest, and I almost dropped Haley twice during rehearsal and one performance night.” His admission had _y/n_ in stitches on the couch. It was a fond memory for them both. As more good memories flashed before _y/n_ as they drove, they were grateful for having such a kind and loving partner as Aaron.

         When they arrived at the field, _y/n_ sat on the small stands watching the team practice. They kept a special eye on Jack. Aaron had inadvertently made his way to the field and was helping the other middle-aged dad correct and help lead the team. _y/n_ had suggested that he should make it a permanent thing. Talk to the other dad, but Hotch had said he wanted to wait. If Jack showed a serious interest, he would pitch the idea to Greg, the man who was the ‘official’ coach. Aaron didn’t want to pressure his son into a passion or sport unless he wanted to play. He wasn’t going to force Jack to do anything, unlike his father had done with him. Hotch was highly considering it. It would be fun and give his life some stability. It would also mean more built-in quality time with Jack, which in his book, was never going to be a bad thing. Ever. Aaron’s eyes caught movement nearby, and he saw _y/n_ move to a seat on the small bleachers paralleling either side of the field. He smiled at them, and _y/n_ beamed back, giving a small wave as a means of “Hello there, mister.” Hotch tore his eyes away from his love to look at Jack who made a goal. Aaron punched the air and said, “Let’s go, Buddy! That was amazing.” The practice finished; the trio moved to get pizza at a nearby spot. The food was greasy and filling, and _y/n_ asked Jack how he was doing at school and home. Aaron watched as they listened intently to what his son was saying. Like Jack’s commentary was the most important thing in the world to them. When all the slices were consumed, Aaron having helped Jack finish off the crusts of his son’s slice, they all piled into the cars. By this point, it was time for Jack to be taken back to Haley’s. Aaron coordinated with _y/n_ and they agreed to meet back at his place. He would drop off his son, and they would put their new plant at their place before heading back to his apartment. They would decide what they wanted to do with the rest of their afternoon from there.

         An hour or so later, they reconvened at his. They sat on his couch as some random Bowie album played in the background. Aaron kissed the top of _y/n_’s head asking, “So what do you want to do before tonight?” That evening, they had agreed to meet up with Rossi, Derek, and Emily at some new spot for cocktails. That wasn’t until 8:30 p.m., so they still had a few hours to themselves. _y/n_ suggested a small walk around the neighborhood. They loved to look at the architecture of the older buildings in his area. The trees that lined the drives. Those trees were slowly changing color from bright greens to burnt oranges. It was a stark contrast to the brutalist concrete architecture of their own apartment. Block of cinder on blocks of cinder. It certainly wasn’t the main reason they wanted to move in with Aaron, but it was a small one. The aesthetics of his part of town had drawn them in. They knew they had romanticized the area, but how couldn’t they, given the inhabitant at the center of their world? The pair moved outside and onto the drive. Hotch pulled them close. He wrapped an arm around their waist, providing a small intimate touch, as they walked down the street. _y/n_ leaned their head against his side and said, “You’d never believe who I saw at the plant swap today.” Hotch thought about it as they continued to walk. He hedged a guess, saying, “Let’s see. How about Rossi?” There was a pause, and he amended his statement, saying, “No Morgan. It was Morag for sure!” _y/n_ laughed. The throaty sound warmed him from the inside. After a beat, they said, “It was Haley, actually.” This had Aaron stop for a second. He looked down at _y/n_ and he said, “Really?” _y/n_ nodded and said, “Yeah.” Hotch composed himself and he guided them forward again. A lot of thoughts ran through his mind. He finally asked, “Did she seem okay?” Aaron kept up with Haley as much as he thought was respectful. Of course, Jack brought her up often in conversation, and he listened with rapt attention, but other than that, he tried to give her space. It only felt right that he let her build her own life again. That was what she had wanted when she had left him, and he respected that. After a moment, _y/n_ replied, “She seems happy. She was waiting for some bigwig plant person. You never told me she was that good with plants. I’m sure she thought my offerings were a bit pathetic after seeing what she had.” Hotch squeezed their side. It didn’t pass him by that they hadn’t mentioned the gender of the “bigwig,” but he wasn’t going to ask for his ex’s privacy. It wasn’t any of his business anymore. He did, however, address _y/n_’s second comment, saying, “Well, Haley is particular, I’ll say that, but not in a bad way. I’m sure she wouldn’t judge you for trying something new. I bet she was happy to see you.” At this, _y/n_ flushed. It made them feel good to still hear Aaron support his ex-partner. If there had been a resentment between them, Aaron at least had let it go. And given how Haley had reacted that morning to seeing them, it seemed that Haley perhaps felt the same. It was refreshing to see people who had separated still be kind to each other. It meant that love that had faded didn’t mean that that love hadn’t existed. It had been real and that was okay to acknowledge and feel. Sometimes it felt like society and media pushed that love had to be this pulsating, living passionate thing. But often, love moved into hibernation, or it slowed and puttered out. Like a candle blown out by a shaky breath. The flame would fight for life for a moment before being snuffed out. That in a way, was a comfort. Not that _y/n_ saw that happening with them, but it ever did, it was nice to know that he would never slander or bad mouth them behind their back. That had happened to them before, and it wasn’t pleasant. Not at all. They continued to walk and enjoyed this small time together.

         Next month _y/n_ returned to the plant swap. As adamant as Aaron had been about joining her next time, Hotch had been called away from a special lawyer consult. It was yet to be seen if the team would need to join him. Because of the possibility of a new case, _y/n_ was going to enjoy their Saturday while they could. _y/n_ moved back to the now-familiar coffee shop. When they entered, they spotted Willow, and someone they assumed was Willow’s girlfriend. _y/n_ moved closer to her new friends. Willow smiled and introduced their girlfriend to them. The trio chatted for a while. Willow asked, “Hey, I thought you said you were bringing your partner this month. Is everything okay with you two? _y/n_ smiled at their friend’s consideration and good memory. They had said that they were bringing Aaron this month. _y/n_ replied, “We’re all good. Thanks for asking. He got pulled out of town for a work thing. It’s tragic really. Next month for I’m bringing him for sure.” After this, _y/n_ and Willow found some other folks at the meet-up to swap their wares with. As _y/n_ finished her exchange with a young college student horticulturist, the door opened, and Haley entered the room with Jack attached to her hip. The young boy noticed _y/n_ and said her name and waved. _y/n_ waved back and Haley moved toward them. The blond-haired woman sat across from _y/n_ and said, “Hey _y/n_. Could you watch Jack while I get our drinks?’ _y/n_ smiled and nodded, saying, “Yeah of course.” Haley leaned down to be on eye level with her son and asked, “Do you still want hot chocolate?” Jack nodded enthusiastically. Haley softly said, “Okay. I’ll be right back. _y/n_ is going to look after you while I get us some drinks.” _y/n_ asked Jack how his week had been, and the child tiptoed over to her from his seat and climbed onto their lap. _y/n_ smiled down at him as he detailed his last week of school, the new cartoons he had watched, and how his mom let him have pizza, twice because he felt sick on Monday. As Haley returned, they hoped Jack's choice to sit on her lap didn’t make the older woman uncomfortable., but Haley had a small hint of warmth on her face as she made her way back to the table and set Jack’s hot chocolate in front of him. Haley said, “I ordered it at a kid's temp, so he’s good to drink it right now.” _y/n_ nodded, thankful for the clarification. In his quiet, pleading voice, Jack asked, “Is there whipped cream?” _y/n_ looked over to Haley again and she nodded yes. They smiled and with one hand opened the lid of the cup so Jack could get to the whipped cream before it melted into the chocolaty drink. As the young boy was focused solely on his drink, _y/n_ looked at Haley and asked, “So, Mrs. Hotchner, how was it with Richard? Did you get the plant you wanted?” Haley smiled and said, “_y/n_ there’s no need to be so polite. Please just call me Haley. Being called Aaron’s last name is awkward and I know you feel it too.” _y/n_ flushed but nodded, saying, “Alright, Haley.” In being able to use her first name without it being awkward. There was a soft relief in that. 

Haley ended up answering their question saying that Richard had been lovely and that she had gotten the rare propagation she wanted. The woman didn’t go into further detail about the man, but she didn’t need to. _y/n_ could tell from her tone and facial features that there was an attraction between Haley and Richard. _y/n_ was happy for her. They hoped Haley could find someone that would complement her and her life goals. After a moment of silence, Haley asked something she had wondered for a while. She still missed Aaron some nights even though she knew it was for the best for both of them to not be together, but this one small innocuous element of her ex-husband and she asked, “Does Aaron still do that thing where he’s asleep but sleep talking like he’s having a real conversation?” _y/n_’s eyes went wide and they chuckled softly saying, “Yes. Oh my gosh, all the time. He totally thinks he’s having some deep philosophical conversation too. Like, he’s so serious about it.” Hearing this made Haley laugh too and she said, “And he’s just saying random words and phrases. If that. Sometimes it's just those little sounds.” Both adults laughed again, and _y/n_ felt warmed that they could talk like this. That they were forming their own bond. Now that they had opened this channel of conversation, _y/n_ said, “You’ll never believe what he did last week.” Haley easily said, “He killed one of your plants, didn’t he?” _y/n_ not expecting her to guess so quickly and correctly, started to say, “He…” They but themself off as _y/n_ realized that she had answered correctly. _y/n_ said, “Yes actually. How did you know?” Haley smiled and said, “Oh can I tell you about the plants he’s killed of mine? I swear you leave that man alone for a day heck, even a long afternoon, you need to expect a casualty of war. I used to drag him to the plant store and make him buy a replacement plant with his card. Not that our money was separated back then, but it made me feel better. You should have him do that for you too. He’ll pretend that he hates it, but secretly he enjoys it a lot.” There was a short silence after they both chuckled. Jack moved from _y/n_’s lap and back to his mom's. Haley grasped him gently and asked, “Where is he by the way? I guess I thought he might come with you this month.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “He meant to, but a half-case, half-lawyer thing came up in Wyoming. The team’s still waiting to see if we’re going to be called in.” Hearing this, Haley sighed and said, “The job never stops, does it.” _y/n_ nodded in agreement and then the blonde-haired woman said, “You should call him. Let me tell him off for killing your plant.” _y/n_ flushed and stuttered slightly. If Haley wasn’t being so open and friendly they might have thought that she was trying to get Aaron back, but they knew that wasn’t the case. Haley had well and truly moved on from Hotch. _y/n_ thought, ‘What the hell. Why not.” _y/n_ pulled her phone from their back pocket and pulled up speed dial. Aaron answered on the second ring. He didn’t sound tired exactly. Really he just sounded bored. He said, “Hey, honey, what’s up? Is everything okay?” _y/n_ flushed slightly and asked, “Are you busy right? Are you in a meeting? It’s nothing bad, I promise.” There was a pause and Hotch replied, “No, I just got out of one though. This is reminding me of why I left law all over again.” _y/n_ chuckled again and said, “Well I have something to distract you with. Someone wants to talk to you.” _y/n_ handed the phone to Haley. 

Haley took the phone and said, “Hey, Aaron. When you get back from your thing I think you should take _y/n_ to the plant store and get her a replacement. Maybe even a nicer one than the one you managed to kill.” _y/n_ was holding back laughter at Haley’s mock angry tone. In the large corporate law office in Wyoming. Hearing Haley’s voice on the line teasing him was not what he had expected. His brain started trying to pull pieces together, Like where and how _y/n_ and Haley would be together. Why they would be together. His head was still full of legalese it took him a second longer than normal. Finally, he realized it was the weekend of the plant swap, and that _y/n_ had told him Haley had been there last time. He felt warmed from the inside that _y/n_ and Haley had started to bond. It made him feel good. He had rather forgotten that his ex-wife had chastised him. Finally, he came back to his brain and said, “Um…” He stopped himself from saying “Honey,” and continued, “...Haley. I’ll do that. I did apologize, and in my defense, I did everything _y/n_ told me to.” Haley laughed on the other end and was about to say something else but Jack could hear his dad’s voice and asked quietly on the other end, “Is that Daddy?” At hearing Jack, Aaron’s heart pushed in his chest. It felt like honey was being poured over an already sweet orange slice. Aaron had to clear his throat a bit and asked, “Is Jack there? Could you, could you put him on Facetime?” There was a soft shuffling sound and Hotch moved down the hall and moved into an empty meeting room in the law firm. The lights automatically flickered on when he entered the room. The green icon for Facetime flashed and he pressed the allow button. The phone was mostly centered on Jack’s face as Haley held the phone in front of him. Jack was sitting in Haley’s lap and Aaron beamed. He said, “Hey buddy, how are you?” Jack smiled and replied, “Hi Dad. I’m good. Mommy and _y/n_ are here. They got me hot chocolate.” Hotch feigned surprise, like this, was the biggest news in the world, saying, “Really! How was it?” Jack put up five fingers and said, “So good.” Aaron felt incredibly grateful that he hadn’t been in a meeting when _y/n_ had called. Seeing Jack was going to make this whole consult better. He looked at his watch for a second. He was going to need to head back to speak with yet another tax compliance team. Because of this, he said, “Hey, Jack can you have Mom give the phone back to _y/n_? It was so nice seeing you and I’ll call you near bedtime to say goodnight if I’m not busy, okay?” Jack smiled and softly said, “Okay” as Haley handed _y/n_’s phone back to them. _y/n_ gently got up and moved outside to speak with Aaron. They put in headphones in case he needed to say anything about his current job. They spoke for a minute or two and Aaron then said, “I love you so much _y/n_. I’ll keep you updated on the goings on here.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “Love you too, Aaron. Be safe and talk soon.” With that, they ended the call. 

Three days later Aaron came back and the team was whole again. The team went on another case shortly after he got back. It was in Connecticut. It was a kidnapper taking the elderly and holding them for ransom. The unsub had been truly unspectacular. Not that anyone on the team ever wanted a hard case, but in contrast to some of the brain-boggling monsters the team found, the man was just a man. Disturbed and deranged. This kind of case left a different kind of taste in the team's mouths. It reminded them that normal people could be evil as well. It didn’t sit lightly on the shoulders. When the team got back home everyone tried to settle and accept what they had seen. _y/n_ and Aaron had taken a day apart, she needed to water and care for her plants after all. The next day they came over to his place, and they were spending a lazy day together. Aaron had gone on a run while _y/n_ biked beside him in the park and Aaron was taking a shower to rid him of his sweat. While he was washing off, his phone rang. _y/n_ looked at the caller ID and it was Haley. They didn’t answer for him in case it was something private. The call ended and shortly after their own phone rang. It was Haley again. As _y/n_ and Aaron had started dating, Haley had given them her number in case anything came up with Jack and Hotch didn’t answer his phone. After the second plant swap, _y/n_ and Haley had started texting on and off about plants or memes about plants. _y/n_ answered the phone, hoping nothing was wrong with Jack. As _y/n_ answered, they said, “Hey, Haley. What’s up?” The woman let out a breath and said, “I wanted to invite you and Aaron over tomorrow afternoon. My sister Jess is visiting and she hasn’t seen Aaron in a while, and I think you and her will get on well. Also, Jack wants you both here too. We were thinking of getting pizza delivered and watching a movie with Jack?” _y/n_ beamed and said, “That sounds so nice. We don’t have anything planned for tomorrow. I check with Aaron after he gets out of the shower. He or I will call you back once we know.” Haley nodded and said, “Sounds good. I hope you can make it.” A few minutes later Aaron padded out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair still ruggled and dripping. _y/n_ filled him in on the offer and he readily agreed. _y/n_ called Haley back and confirmed and she asked about any allergies that _y/n_ had and they filled her in on their dietary needs. 

The next afternoon Aaron and _y/n_ made it over to Haley’s apartment.  _y/n_ met Jess and they shook hands and started connecting immediately. Aaron gave Haley a hug and picked Jack up into his arms. As _y/n_ and Jess started talking about niche topics Aaron looked over to Haley as if saying, “What have you unleashed here?” And his ex-wife gave a little snort. The pizza arrived and Aaron paid for it. He found Haley alone as everyone grabbed a few slices and moved to the living room to pick a kid's movie to watch. As Aaron got a slice of cheese, he softly said, “Thanks for doing this.” Haley nodded and said, “I’m happy too. It felt right. _y/n_ is good for you.” Hotch blushed and didn’t give a direct reply; he just smiled as they both moved to the couch. Haley was at the far end of the couch, Jess and Jack were in the middle, and _y/n_ and Aaron were on the other end. As the opening credits and happy music of the movie started everyone quieted. Halfway through the film, the paper plates were piled on the coffee table. Jack was asleep, and _y/n_ had their hand on his shoulder. They rested their head on his broad shoulder. They weren’t really paying attention to the film, just enjoying being her like this. Aaron looked over those seated on the couch, he thought about what Haley had said about it feeling right. And in the moment it did. It did feel right. He closed his eyes, rested the top of his head on theirs, and just let things be.

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"Major General" From the Pirates of Penzance (p.s.) The song gets kinda assault-y at the beginning, but the main song is impressive).

[forthegothicheroine]

Imagine a production of Pirates of Penzance where the police sing “We charge you yield in good King Charles’s name!” and the pirates stand around looking awkward. Then a policeman says “How about Elizabeth’s memory?” and then the pirates kneel down and sing “With all our faults we love our queen...”

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Sorry to be that guy but in light of the Bottom Bunk headscratching, I need someone else to verify this is a strange thing to say from an overlooked section in Just For One Day;

(Damon) hangs his arms around me, and gives it to me straight.(...)

“And another thing”, he says, jabbing his finger in the air for extra emphasis, “you shouldn’t be shagging someone in your own band.”

“Shouldn’t I?”

“Nah. Always fucks everything up.”

I’m about to tell him how right he is when he spots a grand piano in the hotel foyer. He spends the rest of the evening merrily tinkling away, playing show tunes from Pirates of Penzance. (just leaving this bit on because it's funny)

Why is Damon drunkenly offering this advice like his band was disrupted by internal fraternization? It's not exactly unheard of advice but... everyone's very aware that Damon was "the other woman" to Suede, so to speak; this really doesn't make sense to say about Brett and Justine since he knows being in a band together wasn't what broke them up, and as far as we know, that's the only personal experience he has with this sort of thing. Maybe Damon just thought a lot about the theoretical fucking up that shagging your bandmate would do, though I'm not sure that's any more heterosexual of an explanation. Who knows? Blur did, indeed, Fuck Everything Up eventually, so I'm just keeping the options open.

Ohh this is a good bit. Curious little paragraph, certainly leaves a lot of space to the imagination...

[behindthemirrorofmusic]

For #womenshistorymonth a look at some of the most important women in the history of The Phantom of the Opera.

Number 20. Sierra Boggess

Sierra Boggess is probably one of most well known names in Phantom history.

She began her Phantom journey by re-imagining the role as the first Christine in Phantom: The Las Vegas Spectacular in 2006.

In 2010, she originated the role of an older Christine Daaé in the original London version of Love Never Dies, which continues the story of Phantom.

Sierra once again played Christine Daaé in the 25th anniversary concert of The Phantom of the Opera at the Royal Albert Hall in London

She also played the role in the Broadway production of The Phantom of the Opera several times, including the 25th anniversary. She also returned to the show for a limited run to play Christine alongside Norm Lewis' Phantom.

Sierra was also going to be Christine in the, unfortunately aborted, first French production.

Besides Christine Daaé, Sierra, a drama Desk and Drama League nominee, is best known for originating the role of Ariel in The Little Mermaid on Broadway. 

Sierra began her career in the ensemble and as an understudy for Cosette on the U.S. national tour of Les Misérables, a few years later January 10, 2013 she joined the West End company at the Queen's Theatre and took over the role of Fantine.

She also played the roles of Binky and Ram Dass in the musical Princesses at Goodspeed Opera House and the 5th Avenue Theatre in Seattle. Her previous work includes West Side Story (Maria), The Pirates of Penzance (Mabel), The Boy Friend and Sweet Charity (Charity).

She also originated the role of Rosalie Mullins in School of Rock, 2016.

From July 26–28, 2019, Sierra starred as Cinderella in the Hollywood Bowl's production of Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods.

From March 13-May 15, 2022, Sierra starred as "Mary" in the New York premiere of Barry Manilow's musical Harmony at the National Yiddish Theatre Folksbiene.

At the moment she stars as Lily in the newly imagined production of The Secret Garden at the Ahmanson.

She has frequently participated in Broadway Barks, a cat and dog adoption event founded by Bernadette Peters.

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

Okay but... Pirates of Penzance AU... imagine Elise with pigtails....

[lacefuneral]

actually come to think of it i really did watch a lot of pirate media as a young gay child and sigh wistfully imagining that some swashbuckling ruffian would come save me

hell i even liked that twink from pirates of penzance and named one of my stuffed animals after him