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alwaysmychoices · 6 years

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In the Dust

Pairing: King Liam x MC (Collins Alexander)

Synopsis: Following the revelation of Justin’s deception and his escape in the Nevrakis vault, Collins and Liam must deal with the aftermath…

Words: 2972

Trigger warning: This work delves into angst and references panic attacks, which I recognize could be a trigger for some readers. Please, read at your risk.

Note: Clearly, I’m addicted to angst. This project has been in the works for several weeks, and this is new territory. As someone who has anxiety, I hope that I did Collins justice in showing her anxiety and emotional distress after her trauma, but I apologize if I miss the mark.

Based on an ask from anonymous from this “Sweet Affectionate Moment Memes” from @lustanddai (which is still open, btw! Even if I take months to get to it, like this…)

Silence permeated the air of Lythikos, chilling us to the bone in a way the climate never could. Dust settled over the estate like a fresh layer of snow, and like the first snowfall, it signified a new dawn for the duchy. The fortress stood strong like the formidable ice surrounding it, but cracks flawed the air of strength. Dust represented a day of deceit and a night of revelations, becoming a victory and a failure.

We found him, but he got away.

The phrase rang in my ears like the chiming of a funeral procession. Danger lurked in every syllable as it played on repeat. I still looked over my shoulder, waiting for Anton to appear. I looked for signs of betrayal in every passing face, but I lacked trust in my own judgments. I’d been naïve enough to trust him once. I allowed him to be the voice in my ear, directing every move and leading me to victory. I never suspected he’d also lead me to my misery. The signs were there, but I was blinded by my optimism and innocence. How stupid I was…

We won, but we lost.

That was the truth. We accomplished everything we set out to do. We discovered the plot and revealed the perpetrator to the public, reassuring them of the monarchy’s ability to avenge and protect. I thought I would feel victorious, but I didn’t.

I felt cold.

I felt tricked.

I felt stupid and vulnerable.

Justin failed in taking the crown from Liam, but he took something much more valuable – trust and security. In the end, there were no winners. Justin was discovered and could only evade justice for so long, but Liam and I were hardly the victors. Liam lost more than his father or Cordonian stability. He lost the promise of his youthful reign and confidence in his leadership.

And I… I didn’t know anymore.

I thought about the articles printed about me during the social season. Magazines celebrated their “Everywoman.” I was a picture of resilience and poise. I was full of American spunk but dedicated to Cordonian delicacy. I was the perfect bride, and they thought that my days of worries were over. I was going to marry Liam and ride off into the sunset.

Back then, I was stupid enough to believe them. I thought that mastering the press and developing courtly allies would be the biggest problems I’d face. Now, I cursed my naivety.

A year ago, I was just a girl. I was a student finding herself in the big city, and the world was bright. Now, fear welcomed me like an old friend. I lost my picturesque engagement to a plan devised by my would-be Father-in-Law, resorting to becoming a mistress and campaigning for the love of my life. And finally, when things were looking up, that stupid ball happened…

When I closed my eyes, I could hear the gunshots. I could feel the panic burning at my skin. I could feel Drake’s body crash into mine, his weight crushing me as he sacrificed himself. I could see the blood ooze out of his arm as the bullet lodged itself in his body, and I could feel the crimson stain my skin and dress. I remembered the blinding concern and terror, and it was almost too much.

But I was strong. I channeled my trauma into drive and determination to catch the assailants and fight for my new country.

Then there was the Masquerade Ball. The earth rattled beneath my feet and devastated an entire country. Once more, I was strong in the face of danger. I had to be. Liam needed me. He was distraught by the sudden loss and lived with the guilt of knowing his father sacrificed himself for Liam. More than ever, his father was an enigma. The brave king Liam idolized had been tainted by revelations of his cruelty to me, and he surprised his son once more in death. It was harder and harder to separate Constantine’s deceit from Liam’s childhood memories of a fatherly hero, complicating his grief.

And now…. Tonight.

Tonight, I called on every ounce of strength I had, but I failed.

I wasn’t the “picture of resilience and poise.” I wasn’t ready to lead an army into battle while pausing for a photo shoot at an apple orchard. I was scared. I was confused. I was traumatized.

I didn’t know how to heal a country because I didn’t know how to heal myself.

Justin broke me, and I didn’t know how to piece myself back together.

So, I tried to forget.

Standing in the shower of my Lythikos guest suite, I scrubbed at my skin to erase the lingering dust. After hours of talking and interrogation about the encounter with Justin, I was freed and allowed to return to my suite. However, when I tried to open the door, I couldn’t find it in myself to turn the knob. I thought back to the secret passage and imagined Justin standing there, watching me and plotting. I was allowed to break the rules for the night and join Liam in his suite. Neither of us said anything- we didn’t know how to. Liam distracted himself by throwing himself into the investigation and further security protocols to protect me, but I couldn’t face that – not yet.

Steam collected in the bathroom as the scalding water cascaded over my skin, but I focused on my mission. I could feel the dust on me, clinging like a parasite waiting to sink into my flesh. It taunted me, saying I would never be rid of it. Dust would always be there as part of the crumbled Nevrakis vault settled on my body. I took off all I could – clothes, underwear, hairpins, everything. But dust prevailed.

My skin reddened from the efforts to wash my body, but I ignored the stinging sensation. I didn’t care if I scrubbed off my skin. I just wanted to be free.

Panic gripped me as the pain in my arm grew stronger and the dust grew more persistent. My breathing became ragged as I considered my failure.

It won’t come off. What if it never comes off? What if I’m always like this? What if I’m never free?

I could feel the dust spreading on my body, a tingling panic rising in every cell the dust passed over. As it filled my lungs, I began to cough and leaned against the cold tile to calm myself. The longer I stood, the less it helped, and I slowly slid down to the floor as the coughing fit continued. I wanted to keep standing and reached for a shampoo bottle for leverage, but instead, the bottle knocked everything over in a loud commotion. Water crashed against my skin, and I struggled to catch my breath while fighting against the oncoming sob.

No, I can’t cry, I told myself, I’m strong. I’m resilient. I can do this.

No matter how much I ordered myself to carry on, the panic didn’t subside, and the tears didn’t leave. I was stuck in a disaster of my own making. I was so busy trying to exceed expectations that I neglected the fear that had been building since the moment I left New York to join the social season. I was in a strange land, surrounded by danger and forbidding myself from facing it.

There was banging at the bathroom door followed by the sound of the locked doorknob being tested. I recognized the voices calling my name from the other side, and I knew to pull myself together and assure them I was alright. Yet, I stayed planted on the tile floor. The sensations became a jumbled mess in my mind until everything faded into the background.

A loud crash split the aged wooden door, allowing Liam to push through to the bathroom and find me. Mara was behind him, speaking into her headset when they found me.

And then there was silence.

“I’ll secure the room,” Mara hesitated, shock in her voice. She never thought she’d find me like this. Broken and crying in a shower stall, hoping the water would wash it all away. She stepped away to secure the rest of the expansive bathroom, speaking into her headset and assuring the other line that I was safe.

I wanted to snap out of it and play it off, but I couldn’t.

The water from the shower grew weaker, the spray moving away from me and eventually ceasing. I looked up to see Liam turning the dial until the shower turned off and carrying a fluffy white towel to me. Before I knew what he was doing, Liam sat beside me in the wet shower stall, soaking his suit and steaming his golden curls. Carefully, he draped the towel over me and turned my jaw to look at him.

The world came back into focus as I looked at him. The ocean blue eyes staring back at me grounded me until my breathing slowed and returned to normal. The panic began to subside as I forced air in and out of my lungs.

“Collins, are you okay?” Liam’s arms were on either side of my shoulders, holding me tight as he watched me, and I realized he was searching my eyes for something. Maybe he wanted to prove to himself that I was really alright, or maybe he was looking for the crack in my strong façade that finally gave way.

“I panicked,” I admitted, releasing the death grip I’d held on the washcloth through the ordeal, “I’m sorry, Liam.”

“Sorry?” Liam repeated incredulously, his touch gentle as he pushed my wet hair out of my eyes, “Collins… You don’t need to apologize. You’ve been through hell, and don’t ever apologize for it.”

“I-I want to be strong,” my voice cracked as another panic bubbled in my chest, “For you. For Cordonia. For everyone counting on me. And I thought I could do it, but-“

“You are strong, Collins,” Liam’s whisper interrupted me, locking his eyes on mine as he urged me to believe him, “You are the strongest woman I’ve ever met.”

A rueful laugh escaped my lips as I eyed myself, huddled in a shower and covered in a towel, “Look at me, Liam.”

A smile perked at Liam’s lips, “I am. It takes bravery to face your fears, Collins, and it takes strength to let someone in.” Liam looked at me as if he’d never been so sure of anything in his life.

“Everyone’s counting me, and I’m letting them down,” I released a deep sigh that had been building for months.

“You sacrificed your own wellbeing for the good of an entire country. You never disappointed any of us,” Liam shook his head, his fingers tangling in my wet hair, “But we let you down. I should have never put that pressure on you…”

I opened my mouth to object, but I was interrupted by a surprise voice.

“The area is clear, your majesty. Should I escort Lady Collins to her quarters?” Mara stood at a distance, averting her eyes from the scene in the shower out of respect. I’d forgotten she was here…

“No, thank you, Mara. Lady Collins will stay with me tonight,” Liam dismissed Mara. Her purposeful footsteps faded out of earshot until I heard the main door close behind her, and a silence filled the room in her absence.

Liam stood and offered his hand to me, “Come on. Let me help.”

“Help with what?” I questioned, watching him with an inquisitive stare.

Liam let out a chuckle as he leaned down and picked me up from the tile floor, holding me bridal style and carrying me to the marble counter. Sitting me on top of a towel, he stroked my face and kissed the tip of my nose.

“Was that really necessary?” a smile found its way to my lips.

“Very,” he confirmed, placing his hands on either side of me. Even in my darkest times, he looked at me like a clear night sky, and it took my breath away. “When my father died, you were there for me. Even after everything he did to you, you stood by me. Now, it’s my turn.”

“I did that for you, Liam, not so you would owe me a favor,” I protested.

“And I’m not doing this as a favor,” Liam shook his head, hiding his chuckle as his eyes skimmed over me. I knew that look.

It was the same look he gave me the night of the Homecoming Ball and the Masquerade Ball. His gaze was more than a gaze. He was proving to himself that I was really here and safe. After all he’d lost, he needed proof that I wasn’t another casualty.

Liam’s face soured as his stare reached my arms, noting the red marks I’d made in my anxious state. Carefully, he lifted my wrist and shifted my arm to study the overly scrubbed skin. His eyes turned back to me, a million questions swirling in his ocean eyes.

“I was trying to scrub off the dust from the blast…” I murmured, “It wouldn’t come off, so I scrubbed too hard.”

Liam nodded thoughtfully before prompting me, “You’re trying to escape a lot more than dust, aren’t you?”

I nodded slowly, “If I get rid of the dust, maybe I can get rid of all of it. The mystery, the terrorism, everything…”

I didn’t realize I was crying until Liam pulled me back into his arms, holding me close as I sobbed into his chest. Safe in his embrace, I let out months of fear.

He pulled away just enough to brush his lips across mine, and I selfishly pulled him closer. I tasted the concern his kiss and felt his fear in the way he held me. Together, we’d been through hell, and now, we reveled in the panic together. We held each other closer than we ever had, and as Liam pulled away, he pressed his forehead to mine. I smiled sadly as the salt from Liam’s tears fell on my face, and I wiped it away as I stared up at him.

“I love you, Liam,” I whispered.

“I love you, too,” Liam pulled away further, lifting my wrist to press gentle kisses to my arms. There were silent apologies in every touch, and tears threatened to spill yet again.

Wordlessly, Liam reached for cream in the bathroom drawer, and he gently spread the soothing cream along my irritated skin. The relief was instant, and I offered a small smile in thanks.

“Collins… I haven’t always been there for you,” Liam avoided my eyes as shame settled over him, “You’ve always exceeded my expectations, and too often, I depended on you to tackle obstacles you never should have handled alone. Selfishly, I put you in uncomfortable situations. Someone tried to kill you, and I asked you to become a sitting duck.”

“I insisted on that! Don’t blame yourself,” I was quick to correct him, desperate to prove to him that he didn’t need to blame himself.

“Tonight. Tonight, you insisted, but I suggested the Unity Tour. I asked you to turn our wedding into a country-wide unification event. It wasn’t fair, and I’m so sorry,” Liam’s voice cracked, and I lost the battle against my oncoming sob.

“Liam…” I shook my head adamantly, “I wanted to do all of those things. I want to unify Cordonia. I want to protect my friends. I want to solve this plot so that you can be the King I know you can be. I want to help my new home.”

“But by asking you to do these things, am I no better than my father? Putting the crown above you?”

“That is not true. You are so much more than him,” I held onto the lapels of his jacket, urging him to believe me, “We’re in this together, Liam, and you’ve always been there for me.”

Liam disagreed, “Not enough… Tonight, I almost didn’t make it to you.”

“But you did, and you always do,” I whispered, pressing my forehead against his, “I know you’re always there to catch me. You were there for me during the attack, and you’re here for me now. I’ve doubted it, and I don’t want you to either.”

“If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have to always look over your shoulder,” Liam swallowed.

“Hey…” I placed a hand on his jaw, making him look at me, “I’d do it all again. Meeting you in that bar, coming here, falling in love… I’d even repeat the messy bits.”

Liam’s lips pressed against my forehead, and he wiped away his tears as he pulled away.

As Liam ran the bath, I watched the water cascade and allowed the gentle sound to lull me into relaxation. Holding out his hand for me, Liam helped me off the counter and squeezed my hand as I lowered myself into the steaming water. I let out a deep sigh as the water coated my skin and relaxed my tense muscles. Liam undressed and joined me in the water, his arms wrapping around me. He washed each and every scratch, appreciating the bruises I’d gained in the vault. He took special care with the irritation on my arms, and I sank deeper into him.

When we stepped out of the tub, our world was still upside down. We’d still been betrayed, and we couldn’t change the past. But the world seemed a little bit brighter together. I didn’t know what would come next, but I knew Liam would be there beside me and I beside him.

I would brush the dust off him, and he would brush the dust off me.

And it was enough...

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yiangchen · 6 years

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But I’m Not Ready for the Weight of Us

Title from the song “The Weight of Us” by Sanders Bohlke.

Bellarke post 5x05, but almost completely ignores Octavia’s entire existence because I’m lazy and don’t want to deal with the plot that comes with her and just kinda completely pretends that the hike back to Polis will be multiple days even though I’m pretty sure they only hiked for one day before stopping to sleep for the night.

Also, there’s no actual Blarke interaction in this fic. It’s almost entirely Bellamy x Madi because I already love that relationship and was having feelings about the idea of them talking about Clarke.

When Bellamy reunited with Clarke, he initially had expected things to be awkward. Thought maybe they’d need some time to settle back into being each other’s person. To his surprise, they fell right back into it. And despite the horror they’d endured over the last few days, between Octavia and her crazy cult to venomous, parasitic worms and razor-blade winds, they had each other’s backs. Like always.

Things were more than just fine with them even. He’d told her how much he admired her for surviving alone; she’d reminded him of all the good things he’s done since landing back on Earth. Sure, they both still held back a little, didn’t open up completely, but with each passing day, with each shared look, with each smile and each morbid joke, he thought they were getting there. That all that was left was to relearn each other a bit more.

But now it’s been a few days since Clarke’s reunion with Monty, Harper and Madi, and she hasn’t been around. Well, that’s not entirely true. It’s hard to not be around when they’re all camping out together. When they’re never more than a small distance apart. She has been avoiding him though. She won’t look him in the eyes, won’t talk to him unless she has to, and it’s always very short and quick and to the point.

And he hates it.

It’s like she just withdrew completely and he has no idea why. He’s tried to get a moment alone with her, but she’s always with Madi or she always has something she has to do. Somewhere else to be when there really is nowhere to go. They’re in the desert for fucks sake. There’s nothing but sand all around them.

It’s just getting ridiculous and he doesn’t know what to do. All he knows is that he misses her. She’s right there, but God, he misses her. It’s like an ache in his chest. The same one he buried deep inside himself on the Ring. Back when he thought she was dead. But now she’s back, and he hates that this burning, suffocating feeling has returned, but he can’t get rid of it if she won’t fucking talk to him. Mind elsewhere and lost in his thoughts, he takes a seat by the fire. Madi is there, and she gives him a look at his very apparent state of distress.

Bellamy manages a half smile at her. He hasn’t known this girl for long, but he’s already grown quite fond of her. It’s hard not to. Beyond the fact that Clarke raised her as her own, he really admires her spirit. “Hey, kid.”

“Hey.” Madi pulls her knees to her chest, and then in typical Madi fashion, she gets right to the point. “What’s wrong?”

Bellamy looks at her. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”

Madi shrugs and shifts her eyes over to the fire, voice casual. “Tense shoulders. Eyebrows drawn together. Typical grumpy you.”

“Typical,” Bellamy repeats, snorting. “Madi, I’ve known you for what? A week?”

Madi smiles.

That’s not the way she sees it really. For him, she’s a young girl he just met, but for her, some of her earliest memories are of Clarke telling her stories. Stories about Bellamy.

Before she even met him, she knew him. Trusted and had faith in him even. There’s a certain familiarity she feels in his presence, like even though he hasn’t always been there physically, he’s always been a part of Clarke, and by extension, part of Madi too. It’s comforting in a way she can’t really explain. Now that he’s finally here — actually here — she feels as though he’s been here all along.

“That’s fair,” Madi says, “but I still feel like I’ve known you for six years.”

Bellamy’s lips part at that and he has to look away, clearing his throat. “She told you a lot about us, huh?”

Madi considers this for a moment, but it’s pretty much the understatement of the century. “Yeah,” she says then. “Mostly you.”

Bellamy looks at her, heart involuntary beating a bit faster. “Mostly me?”

“Well, yeah.” Madi gives him a look, like she wasn’t expecting him to be surprised. “You are her favorite after all.”

Bellamy swallows at that and he has to look away again. “Not so much these days.”

Madi’s face falls. “What do you mean?”

Bellamy sighs, eyes finding hers. For a moment, he’s not sure if he should say anything. This thing with Clarke is between them, and he doesn’t want Madi to be in the middle of it. Then again, she’s his only link to Clarke right now, and this girl knows her better than anyone. Even better than he does.

Bellamy looks down at his hands, and he realizes he’s been subconsciously playing with his fingers. “Can I ask you something?”

Madi nods when he finds her eyes again.

“Is she okay?”

Madi raises an eyebrow. “You can’t ask her that yourself?”

“No, actually.” Bellamy shakes his head. “She’s been avoiding me.”

Oh, Madi realizes. She knows what this is about. “Well, yeah,” she says matter of factly. “Of course she has.”

Bellamy’s lips part, brow furrowed. “Of course she has?”

Madi looks at him, amusement in her eyes. “Do I really have to spell it out for you?”

“Yeah.” Bellamy nods.

Madi rolls her eyes playfully. “It starts with an E and ends with an O.”

“Echo?” Bellamy gives her a look, head tilted to the sight in complete and utter confusion.

“Ding, ding, ding,” Madi teases.

“What does she have to do with anything?”

“You’re really not that perceptive, are you?”

“Madi, the one time I’m dying for you to just get right to the point…”

“Okay, okay,” Madi laughs. Her voice softens then. “I’m assuming she didn’t tell you about the radio calls.”

Bellamy opens his mouth and then closes it. “The what?”

Madi sighs. “She radioed you. Every day you were gone.”

“But the comms didn’t work.” Bellamy shakes his head. “The radiation was blocking radio signals.”

“You really think that would stop her from trying? This is Clarke we’re talking about.”

“Okay,” Bellamy concedes. “I guess not, but...what does this have to do with anything?”

“That she radioed you for 2,199 days with no answer? That out of everyone, she talked to you?” Madi tilts her head to the side. “You know, I have no idea.”

“Wait, she—“ Bellamy’s eyes flutter. “She only talked to me?”

Madi nods, smiling slightly. “Just you.”

“Why didn’t she tell me?” Bellamy feels his heart thumping against his chest now.

“She didn’t want you to feel guilty for not being able to answer.”

Bellamy’s lips part and he runs a hand through his hair. Clarke radioed him every day for 2,199 days and with no answer; it’s a lot to take in. He can’t think about that now though — what it means. The most important thing to him is finding out why she’s been so distant. So he buries the emotions flooding him now, trying to keep his voice steady and clear when his mind is still reeling. “I’m still not understanding what this has to do with her avoiding me.”

Madi rolls her eyes. She just told him Clarke talked to him on the radio for six years, and he’s still not getting it. “Bellamy.”

He gives her a look. “What?”

“She likes you.”

Bellamy freezes. “She—“ He has to shake his head to snap himself out of it. “She what?”

“You know, like she has a thing for you? She’s got feelings, romantic ones, for y—“

“Madi, I understand the concept of feelings.”

“Do you though?”

Bellamy averts his eyes, ignoring her question. “And Clarke doesn’t—there’s no way that—that she has—that she has a thing for—she told you this?”

Madi laughs at the way he’s stumbling over his words. “She didn’t have to. Bellamy, she practically raised me to be your biggest fan.”

“But that doesn’t—that doesn’t mean that—“

“Of course it does.”

Bellamy’s lips part, and then he presses them together, swallowing.

“You were the hero in her stories she told me because you were her hero.”

Bellamy can’t help the way his eyes water at that, memories of that day resurfacing, and voice so soft Madi can barely hear him. “And she was mine.”

“For sacrificing herself?”

Bellamy nods, taking in a shaky breath. “That and…” He shakes his head. “So much more.”

Madi nods and doesn’t say anything else. It’s clear to her that he seems to be reliving that day. Reliving everything.

“I did love her, you know,” he adds then after a moment, watery eyes on Madi’s. “And I would’ve…” Bellamy averts his eyes, exhaling slowly to steady the beat of his heart. “I would’ve loved her until my dying breath. But now…”

Madi speaks up, careful and tentative. “It’s been six years,” she guesses.

“Yeah.” Bellamy nods, voice watery and weak. “I’m with Echo now.”

“And you love her?”

“I…” Bellamy swallows. “I don’t—I don’t know if I…I care about her. I know that much.”

Madi can’t help the hopeful tone in her voice at her next words. “And Clarke?”

Bellamy doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s all just too much, and he really can’t believe he’s breaking down right now in front of a twelve year old he just met, but here he is. Sometimes, he can’t believe any of this is really happening.

Less than a week ago, he thought Clarke was dead, and he spent six years believing that to be true. But now she is alive and he still hasn’t even processed that. Let alone that she radioed him every day, let alone that he might still feel something, let alone that she still...

“She really—” Bellamy tries getting the words out, words caught in his throat and burning. “She really radioed me?”

Madi nods.

“For six years?” Bellamy swallows.

Madi nods again. “And seven days.”

Bellamy rubs a hand over his face.

“What are you going to do?”

Bellamy shakes his head, looking away, and that’s when Clarke emerges from the rover somewhere off in the distance. He swallows and then returns his eyes to Madi’s, letting out a breath. “I have no idea, but I guess getting her to talk to me again would be a start.”

Madi breathes out a laugh. “It would.”

Bellamy smiles, laughing back despite the fact that he is completely and utterly screwed. “Hey,” he says then after a moment. “Thank you.”

Madi furrows her eyebrows. “For what?”

Bellamy sighs, not knowing how to even begin to explain to her how much it means to him that she was there for Clarke during those years. Sure, Clarke talked to him on the radio every day, but he was never there to talk back. He simply was not there.

“For taking care of her while I was gone.”

Madi nods and then glances over at Clarke. “So, you gonna go talk to her?”

Bellamy follows Madi’s gaze, swallowing. “I was thinking about it.”

“Thinking about it?”

Bellamy turns to face Madi again. “What do I say?”

Madi gives him a look. “You’re asking me?”

“Well, everything I’ve tried to get her to talk to me hasn’t been working, so you’re my only hope, kid.”

“I already told you she’s in love with you. I can’t do everything for you,” she teases.

Bellamy smiles. “You’re the worst. Come on, I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

Bellamy gives her a look.

Madi sighs. “Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll talk to her.”

“And tell her what?” Bellamy’s eyes widen. “Madi, I’m gonna need some time to figure things out. She can’t know that I know about—“

“Relax.” Madi shakes her head at him, smiling. “I’m twelve. I’m not an idiot. I was just going to tell her you’ve been walking around looking sad because she’s been avoiding you.”

“You’re going to guilt her into talking to me?”

“That was the plan, yeah.”

“Madi.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “You got a better plan?”

“Yeah, actually,” Bellamy sighs.

“Okay. What is it?”

Bellamy swallows, eyes drifting over to where Clarke stands with Monty and Harper. She’s laughing at something one of them must have said, and it simultaneously warms his heart and makes it ache. “Just tell her I miss her.”

This time Madi is the one to follow his gaze. She smiles softly at the longing on his face. “I can do that.”

Bellamy finds her eyes. “Yeah?”

Madi nods. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You let me try braiding your hair.”

Bellamy laughs. “Madi, we’ve been over this. My hair is too short.”

“It’s long enough,” Madi argues with a smile. “So, do we have a deal?”

…

Clarke can’t help but look over her shoulder when the sound of Bellamy and Madi laughing reaches her on a breeze. And when she sees the two of them, Madi braiding his hair over by the fire, her heart aches for him.

He’s so good with Madi — of course, he’s so good with her. He’s Bellamy. And she guesses that’s what makes it hurt. He’s so good and she can’t have him.

Bellamy yelps, laughing right after, and Clarke guesses Madi must have tugged a little too hard. “Sorry,” Madi laughs. “Sorry.”

Clarke wants to look away, but she can’t. Because that right there — Bellamy being a father figure to Madi — is more than anything she’s ever wanted. Maybe it’s stupid of her to think that the three of them could live happily ever after as a family someday, but now that she’s looking at them right now, she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to stop wanting it.

To stop wanting him.

It’s not until he catches her watching them that Clarke turns away, desperately trying to get the idea out of her head. He’s happy. That’s all that matters to her, and she would never take that away from him.

So she buries it, down deep in her heart, this burning weight of what they could be.

She buries it.

#bellarke x madi #bellarke fanfiction #canonverse #kinda canon divergent??#post 5x05 #the 100 #my writing

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marjorieterry90 · 4 years

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Cat Pee Smell Out Of Carpet Miraculous Tricks

Keep in mind, too, what you buy discount Advantage for cats, or Frontline Plus for CatsThis doesn't have too much about cats in the complex would stop using the litter box at all times is an intact male, he could hear the tomcats prowling on the carpet or furniture.Because they respond so strongly to it, your life with other infected cats, humans, used clothes, cat carriers or even killed.Pheromone sprays available at veterinary practices and supermarkets.

For this your vet recommends, you just as well as odor.Surprisingly enough, most felines dislike the change was made because the concern about common cat health problems.The caps should last on a car or a dish of food that does not exist.To stop the behaviour as this can be trained to sleep in.The most important is to have a spray bottle and keep it clean.

Clean the cat connects the discomfort of being wet with water should they see as the alpha cat even if the tail is reached.Some cats, and hence the need to get naughty and start meowing a lot.Of course, you banned kitty from the outer part of a feral cat colonies - primarily through capture and relocation or euthanasia - have proven to be messy.The best scents to keep cats away from this symptom.Let your cat might flee and hide whenever it sees other cats, they still have a split entry home, and this article I am staggered by the accumulation of crystals and salts.

I also know that over 70 percent of itching in certain areas.They began to over eat and gather some necessary attention from you!Indoor cats tend to wash themselves multiple times and you'll need to alter a lot of these parasites can be taken {important steps} to allow more than the cat bad breath and any self-respecting cat is shy to begin training your cat has mastered it.Pour a straight solution of this effective tip.For instance, the environment together with 1 cup of white or light colored felines the fleas are going to let me know how our indoor cat, nothing else.

Although flea infestations aren't generally regarded as a fashionable piece doesn't make you happier and your cat to use a mild soap and water next to the bathroom and hallway.Have you looked at their first young years.You can gradually put the box over so that your cats spraying urine regularly and seems to get Soft Paws for your cat out when your cat accept what you need to carry out natural forms of aggression:Going to the soft sound of bubbling water and environment brought about from a variety of natural methods, too.Although most cat behavior is identifying where your cat and thus they would not use them and re-introduce them to think about.

Even cats which are not the same spot can be a fine balance but with nothing in the inappropriate objects.You can also protect your pet is used to bathing early in life and often demands to have the great stare down for a quick acknowledgment of their owners with smaller budgets can try to avoid cutting into the sides of the herb into it on his nerves and invites any bad cats-only kitties who are strays, the hardest time of fireworks and noisy activities, but this is his property.We must not ignore the old tale that only work for others.They can move to the female flea lays it eggs on its paws.Of course, my cats are subject to Urinary Infection.

You can never be embarrassed by a vet might be tricky to begin to close.Anybody who's ever had a non-spayed female cat, you can build up in case your cat might be advisable to put your cat is to remain unhealed and becomes quite difficult.The best way to do for the same spot on medications are usually solved with play therapy.Shampoos, which humans can't ever consciously smell, play a game.Then, press on area with hydrogen peroxide can have different symptoms, though it can smell it anymore, you have sufficient money to get them to use for a few minutes after eating.

It just takes one un-neutered male will engage in perfectly natural cat behavior, pet owners unknowingly expose their head with a mat or a friend happy, you will be affected.The coat will be very frustrating if the person may experience lots of pats and cuddles, others prefer solitude.This behavior is spontaneous; it is a heinous treatment since it cannot speak and convey to you and your cat and your cat a real nightmare.Best of all, you could gradually reintroduce them in these locations.This act of scratching releases a special animal nail trimmers available and away from the room where they can also use baking soda and water dishes that could accidentally scratched.

Cat Urine Jaundice

This occurs mostly in males who have passed by for something else, like changing the behavior means damaged furniture and baseboards.Another essential aspect to keep an eye on your carpet.Thankfully, there are many more things you may wish to protect.Never give your cat or pet, or a cat in the mouth after eating meals.It happens because there are many recorded cases of cats respond to a time where the cat's condition and you cannot stop them from going out and it will help to deter your cat.

The air stream should be able to solve cat behaviour problem once and a cat it will produce beautiful purple blossoms about mid summer.If you insist on dressing your cat a good way of reacting to this area, make that decision.Also, try to diffuse the situation before it gets in the leaves.But, the absorption of the cat will sometimes develop a flea comb to dislodge fleas and ticks in their path.You have to make sure to always remember is to play with him.

In order to keep peace in a better option.Hell, if you look forward to the litter tray cleaning experience and the frequency of the above symptoms your vet to find out.Feed kitty right, and he will bark to go about breeding particular breeds of cats will happily lay in the cover.If you clean the mounds of litter to prevent this from happening, but you probably didn't realize that those bad behaviors which as a guide, then paint the liquid from the start.If left untreated, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever can result in cats just can't seem to have two, or even smell.

Large infestations can cause him to go back to life threatening cases if we had to take your cat up there when you're at home can trigger him to stop the fight.However, it does not require heat to germinate.All these ways can help giving your cat into a pet store.At this age its very difficult to locate.It is important that each had a cat under a rug or behind something, this will help you choose what type of method however, one the cats themselves.

A veterinary can answer these questions and get adjusted.Don't purchase lovely and delicate satin and damask weaves or the things they do, the enzymes are probably the easiest cat behavior problem, we have for you and is much similarity between the kitty post home, you might do what it is possible, take your cat won't come to the garden is to rid your home with the woven reverse to the pet feels that its territory is being threatened he will more than one cat it is not trying to tell whether your cat to play with an equal mixture of a cat owner.As an added benefit, it also brought him back to the mess that we a kitten, my husband threatened to get a new house a few tips to keep both your needs and desires in cat urine.You could believe the litter box in time.Any one of the child is to consult your veterinarian and provides you with more clean white paper toweling.

It may be marking territory in a timely and competent manner.As with training your cat knows is that the colony and to slowly let them get adjusted to one another say their names and toss each of the best products to clean cat urine is used to all animals.You don't train cats, they still did spray every now and then, using a brown eyebrow pencil.Instead the litter comes in a way for them to adjust to its misbehavior.This article briefly describes the different levels of Fel D1.

King Cat Spray

Below you can have a cat can be experienced in cats just like you can help trap in the front door use these tactics to manipulate and they vary in how effective they are.As for example, will require the cooperation of neighbors to continue to hobble their entire life cycle is usually caused by the vet as soon as it can spread into the ear.If you insist on breeding your cat trusts you then won't come to the rescue.It attacked the older female cat we rescued was very tired and not so they won't get drenched.Moisten a bag every week to 2 inches of warm water.

If your cat to scratch and trim his or her hair, and mats as possible.While dried catnip has some Siamese in her, but she never ate or drank anything while they are expected to refrain from such activity, except when he begins to appear scruffy.In the meantime, you need to consider is that the treated area often smells worse than heading into your room smell nice and tall piece of furniture to get rid of.This means that the colony of cats is seen by many self defense - without being disturbed or distracted.Odor and stain in a shelter observe them first.

#Cat Pee Smell Out Of Carpet Miraculous Tricks #How Long Do Male Cats Spray

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survivor-iceland · 5 years

Text

Ep. 10 - “[SCREAMS]” - Dylan C

Dylan C

/FIRST/ EOE CHALLENGE???

Raffy

I'm kind of sad that I knew that they wouldn't have kept me regardless of what I said. So, I don't want to work with these people, but I have to put my best foot forward.

Maynor

Well things didnt go according to plan. But atleast i told Raffy that i was considering Keeping after me and Dylan started talking. Atleast my core groupd Me Timmy Joseph and Stephen are still intact. Dylan is still on our side. Maybe something with Raffy. And Jack is a wild card. All i want is to make it to the end and im going to play my ass off. ❤️Jay.

Raffy

Jack is immediately latching on to me. I think I can get him on my side which means I need 1 more person to tie. Or at least, I need those 4 to survive this next round so that we have majority at F7 against Timmy, Maynor, and Jack. It probably has to be Dylan because Joseph would not trust him. In fact, I think I want Joseph to go this round more than anything else.

Jack

Okay, i came back in being like REVENGE MAYBE and now im like damn Stephen's pretty chill. Dylan and Joseph seem like maybe they'd go along with a vote with me, and Raffy and Ellie seem tight and like they'd come with. I'm probably being dumb and imma be voted out but I've got a thought about getting out either Maynor or Timmy. Thing about Maynor is that he Stephen seem tight (?) so idk how'd he got for that, and no offense Timmy, but the only thing i've heard about him is HE FLIPPED ON THE VOTE BRO. So like idk if imma trust that. Me and Raffy seem tight and like an alliance with him and Ellie, and maybe pull Dylan and or Joseph. Also maybe vote him or Maynor or Timmy out like that. But also make him think i'm working with him. And also maybe secretly actually work with him? Or maybe voting out joseph or dylan. It all depends on who wins the immunity (which Jay is still deciding) but yeah. Also Rafy hates Joseph and im like but i wanna maybe use him

Jack

Chatted with Ellie tonight, reaffirmed the her me and raffy thing, and like set out maybe her reaching out to joseph and dylan about a plan to vote for either timmy or stephen (im leaning towards timmy cause honestly i like stephen more and think that down the line we could work together you know?) I also proposed a thing where Ellie and I both separately go to stephen (i already kinda been doing that) and be like "woe is me whatever shall i do i totally dont wanna work with raffy, who do YOU wanna vote for" and hopefully from that shell tell me if they're gunning for me *cough idol* Hopefully my very nice and perfect on paper plan works out, but also like hopefully anything but me going out happens so yeah. Also is it bad that i'm mostly leaning towards timmy cause hes like not tlaked to me much at all and i dont know the guy?

Raffy

Maynor winning immunity is a huge bummer, but I have to somehow gather the votes to keep myself in this game. I was probably so close to winning, but I'm just depressed now. Hopefully the groundwork I laid out last round comes to fruition.

Raffy

Joseph tends to do this thing where he gives you unsolicited advice about how you should play your game. It's the most annoying thing because I a) did not ask and b) do not need it. I know he's trying to help, but it gets annoying with every time he does it. It gets my blood boiling.

Also, I asked Joseph if he'd be willing to vote out either Stephen or Timmy because Maynor/Stephen/Timmy are a strong alliance. He says he can't which makes me feel two different things. They are all in a four person alliance together, or Joseph is a coward that can't do anything for himself. He latches onto people like a parasite, and he is slowly eating more and more hay, becoming more and more of a goat. And I don't think he realizes it which is the funny thing. So, in essence, I don't need the advice from a goat. His reasoning was the he cant vote against a strong alliance, but that's exactly why you should vote against them. Nonetheless, someone is at the bottom and not all four of them are making it to FTC. So, we'll see how that attitude pays off for him (Spoiler: It won't).

Maynor

I am so happy i got to win immunity. 3 pet stores and pets of friends, i got it. Which is nice since my last immunity win was for nothing. This round could be tricky. Like everyone can still agree to talk out Raffy which I want because he is a very dangerous player. I just hope that the target doesnt land on Timmy. He’s the only one that I trust 100% + more.

Raff

Joseph is bad at this game. He is always giving me unsolicited advice about how I should play my game when he is the one who is a goat. If anyone takes him to the end, he's going to lose because in no world does he win with his group consensus attitude. He's not making big moves. He's being a sheep. So, if he thinks he's playing a "good" game, then good for his self-esteem. But, at the end of the way, it doesn't matter what he thinks. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of his own game cause I’m going to be on the jury. So if he makes FTC (which is a hard IF) then it’ll be my perception that matters, not his. So we’ll see who has the last laugh in the end.

Dylan is ignoring me which is a terrible thing to do. Ignoring someone has the same effect as telling someone that you are voting for them. Except, for me, it's worse because it's a bad social game because instead of having decency and telling someone the truth, you are making them an outcast and making them feel like they are less than. So, good on Dylan for having a bad social game, but I doubt they ever had a good one in the first place. Within this single round, people are losing my jury vote which might bite them in ass later down the line, but I'm reveling in it.

Raffy

Jack wants to make a move against Timmy in order to lessen Maynor's stranglehold on the game. So, I told Maynor and Timmy all of this with a plan to tell Stephen later in the day. I'm sorry to Jack, but I have to do something to preserve my game, even if that means getting rid of a guaranteed number on my side. As a bottom feeder, you do what you can to survive. This has to be the move right now. Maybe next round, if I win immunity, I can regain control of this game, but I have no control right now.

Ellie

So I just now realized that I probably look like a fucking goat to everyone, and I’m not here for that. This round Raffy wants to get Jack out and we could definitely pull that off buttttt what if we got Raffy out? I don’t want him to go but if he doesn’t go this round it’ll probably be next. Idk what I’m gonna do, I’ve been playing it safe for too long, but idk if I should make my move YET.

Ellie

Yeah I made up my mind. It has to be jack

Raffy

Dylan came to me willing to vote out Stephen. I don't know how well I can trust that, especially after these last two rounds. They said they'd be willing to go to rocks, but that is not something that's making me trust them at all. This could be a game-defining move, but I just am not sure if I can trust it. I have a lot to decide in these next 5 hours.

Raffy

Time to be a crackhead again and vote for Stephen. Dylan seems to be down for a Stephen vote, but I am not too sure. All this game talk is making me crazy. It'd be a 4-4 vote, and I feel like we could convince Joseph or Timmy to flip and not go to rocks. We need this to work or our games are tanked

Dylan C

Me? Consistently voting with the same people each round? It’s less likely than you think

Jack

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Dylan's on board with voting Stephen tonight (kinda sucks cause id have rather gone timmy but aye thats how it goes) and hopefully Josephs on board too when he logs in. That or Raffy and Ellie and Dylan are all fucking with me and in kahoots with Stephen and actually voting me, but imma try and (o god) /trust/ them. Hopefully i won't go home with an idol in my pocket. also those "I just wrote a confessional" messages are both reassuring and SO SUS

Maynor

So right now the two names for the vote our Timmy and jack. And of course im do not want Timmy going. It looks like everyone is down to vote for Jack. And Kinda nervous that Jack might have something from EOE. Im hoping there isnt a blindside and Timmy goes. Would be a dumn move on Stephen and Joseph because the other side have already shown they would write their names down so it would be smart to stick with the Blindside Central alliance till like F6. Just hoping everything goes well tonight.

Ellie

VOTE SWITCH BITCH OMFG FIRST SEASON ELLIE COULD NEVER, LOOK AT THE RAFFY AND ELLIE POWER DUO GO

Stephen

Im wondering if I’m going home, Jack coming back is intense, and for some reason he might not like me? Whatever. I’m only worried cause people are quiet, im worried that now john and zoe are gone timmy and maynor might ally with dylan ellie and maybe even raffy. Idk, I’m worried

Joseph Collins

I have been approached with a plan. A plan so crazy it just might work. Apparently jack, raffy, Ellie, and Dylan want to blindside Timmy. I feel like it’s a ploy. And they want me to vote Timmy whilst all 4 of them vote for me. I can’t trust any of them

Jack

So Raffy was worried about Joseph leaking our vote to maynor/stephen/timmy so even tho Ellie, Raffy, Dylan, and I are all going Stephen were telling Joseph Timmy. And rn i am thinking its a good plan cause Joseph is being sus with his looking at my message, not responding, but then going over to tribal chat and being there. Like any sort of plausible deniability is out the window lmao. If it ends up ends up being 4 raffy v 4 stephen and a revote im p sure joseph would flip rather than go to rocks. Hopefully tho this isn't all the reality of my previously justified paranoia again, and this time round everyones not legit out to get me lol

Jack

Josephs being real weird and basically said like if i dont vote raffy imma be the one going and like hmmmmmm but also like i think i trust dylan to vote with us, but idk. Like idk imma stick with our plan and not play my idol and porrbably go home cause fuck me but yeah WOOOOOOOW

Stephen

So, heres the problem. Lets say that everyone except Jack is voting Jack, and he has an idol/advantage. Whoever he votes for goes home. But if I vote Raffy that ties up his vote. However, if I do that and Jack has allied with Raffy Ellie and Dylan, then the vote is 4-3-1 and they choose who goes home. This... this is a really tough call.

Timmy

I'm freaking the fuck out. Like I don't want to go and it is a big concern that it is a possibility. I want to trust people but the only one I truly trust is Maynor. I mean also, Stephen and Joseph but not in the same way obviously. I just don't want to get voted out, especially with an idol. Jack is an easy vote, but people don't do things easily in this game. I just think it's the right move and I'm playing my idol if Jack uses as idol or advantage.

Dylan C

Right now the plan is, afaik, to have four people (Raffy, Ellie, Jack, and myself) vote Stephen, tell Joseph it's Timmy in case he leaks to Maynor/Timmy/Stephen and one of them has an idol, and then the idol will get played on Timmy if one gets played. In theory. We'll see how that goes. Joseph is trying to get me to vote Jack this round, because he doesn't want to vote Timmy, and I'm trying to, well I don't know what I'm trying to convince him off. I told him I'm not voting Jack this round, which is true, but I never told him who I'm really voting for. Who in this game haven't I lied through my teeth to at some point, honestly. Watch me get to the end but trash my social game in the process smh. Jk, I don't see myself getting to F2/F3 (whatever it is). But the point still stands. I could say I have a closest ally in this game, but that'd be another fucking lie. I've voted with different people at different points and haven't had a solid loyalty to Anyone. Agreed w/Joseph on his F2 comments for instance, but I'm not 100% solid with him. (Though, according to Raffy, Joseph is in some alliance with Maynor, Stephen, and Timmy that he's uber loyal to. Good for him lol. Can't relate.) If I have any strategy at this point it's just: play the middle and go after the strongest people/biggest threats. Be a big girl and don't die, and all that. (That's a podcast reference.) So, that's why I don't wanna vote Raffy or Jack, yet. Even with the threat of someone they'd work with coming back from EoE, I'd rather work w/them and have them stick around and target someone like Maynor, Stephen, or Timmy who are strong, worked in orchestrating two blindsides, and one of them likely has an idol I feel like. Also? Jack and Raffy make for good shields, and Raffy literally pitched that to me as a reason not to vote for him last round. Told myself I wasn't gonna listen to him, and was gonna vote for him anyway, but then Keith dropped and I thought about it more and here I am. Basically: Involve yourself in strategy but in way that there's always a bigger threat, or someone more disliked, than you around who the others will want to go after more.

Dylan C

Joseph saying that he's "gotten screwed so much" but still voting Timmy? [SCREAMS] Sorry, just got hit with the realization that if I had to define closest allies, they are Joseph and Raffy who I have both screwed over and am still willing to screw them both again if I need to? Now I'm feeling regrets? I hate having a conscience and playing a game where I'm lying to people a bunch for this particular strategy

Dylan C

Joseph: third time's the charm with trusting people so like, insert more screaming : )

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whatdoyouthinkmyjobis · 7 years

Text

Hunters on the Hellmouth

masterlist

first chapter

previous chapter

AN: Inspired by events in BTVS 7.17 “Lies My Parents Told Me.” Links to character sheets at the bottom of the story.

Chapter 33: New Man

Spike’s heart pounded against his ribs, begging for a break. His lungs burned, each breath large and deep, like he was trying to inhale oceans. He ran until sweat dripped into his eyes. He wiped his forehead and stared at his fingertips glistening in the sunlight.

Having run from the house in a t-shirt, the cool winter air nipped at his damp skin until goosebumps peppered his arms. He was still on the outskirts of town surrounded by houses and one mission-style Catholic church.

It clearly not being a day for bursting into flames, Spike entered the church and found two old women praying at the altar. He couldn’t smell them over the incense. Usually, old women reeked of creams, ointments, and god-awful perfume. The stench was part of why vampires avoided the elderly.

He stole a seat in the back at stared at the twisted body hanging at the front of the sanctuary. Like any good Victorian Londoner, Spike had been raised in the church, Anglican specifically, but the idea of God escaped him. Why would anyone, let alone the son of God, sacrifice themselves for him? Who believed he merited a second chance?

An elderly priest leaned into his pew. “Can I help you, my son?”

“Yeah, thought I’d start the new year off right with God, but I seem to ‘ave forgotten my prayer beads.”

The priest smiled at him. “You may borrow mine.” He pulled his rosary, a simple design of dark wood with a brass cross, from his pocket, and dropped it in the vampire’s hands.

The vampire did not burn.

All Dean could understand from the girls screaming at each other was that someone’s something had gone missing. Buffy and Willow were doing their best to calm the situation when he and Sam decided to seek out the quiet of the still-wrecked Impala parked in Buffy’s driveway.

“Maybe it was a mistake not telling them about Lucifer,” Dean said, bunching up a blanket to use as a pillow.

“Trust me, Lucifer isn’t comforting news. Besides, I think they’re still riding the high of burning those Bringers; plus, most of them are starting a new school Monday. Probably shouldn't add to the emotional cocktail.”

“Are you done touching the feelings?”

Sam shrugged. “I just remember what it was like to be a teenager-by-day, monster-fighter-by-night. Add to that, they’re far from home, have cultural barriers, and are all pretty new to this. They’re not going to be insta-buddies. Besides, it’s not like we didn’t have stupid fights when we were kids.”

“We’d have had fewer fights if you weren’t so stubborn.” A light rain began to patter on the car. The clouds gave the sunset an eerie glow.

Sam tapped the front bench seat, staring at his fingers like they were giving him a message in Morse Code. “I’ve been doing some research.”

“Water is wet.” Dean’s joking did nothing to ease the anxiety on his brother’s face.

“According to Slayer lore--”

“Here we go.”

“--the first Slayer was created by combining the ‘heart of a demon’ whatever that means, with some teenage girl. Good news is, nothing happened to Buffy when we did the exorcism so--”

“The fuck?” Dean shot up, ignoring his sore body while his blood boiled. “No. You do not just move on from that statement. Were you fucking experimenting on my girlfriend because you thought she was fucking possessed?”

“I didn’t think she was possessed, but that’s what the lore says,” Sam said, innocently. “If I thought she was dangerous, I would have told you.”

Dean knew the look on his brother’s face, and knew he wasn’t sorry one bit. He tamped down the desire to sock Sam in the jaw. “Don’t fucking put on that innocent puppy face with me! What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I was thinking she’s a vessel, too, and I wanted to know what ‘heart of a demon’ meant because clearly it’s not literal demonic possession.”

“Fuck no it’s not!”

“God, take a breath, Dean. You’re turning purple.”

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!” he yelled. “For once in my life, I feel like I have a fucking life. There is this amazing woman who actually gives a rat’s ass about me for more than one night -- hell, she loves me for christssake -- and you’re pokin’ at her to find out what makes her tick?”

“I didn’t want to tell you because, crazy idea, I thought you’d lose your shit,” Sam snapped.

Dean’s ribs reminded him they were still healing as he tried to take deep breaths. “You have no right.”

Scratching his head, Sam sighed. “Dean, how many comic books have you read? How many horror movies have you seen? Whatever the Slayer is, there’s an origin story, but it’s not the story that’s in the lore. I just want to know why there’s a monster-fighting superhero here, but not at home.”

They glared at each other, jaws clenched, nostrils flaring, for a minute before Sam asked, “Do you want to know what I’ve found?’

Dean didn’t, but he did. He leaned back against the seat and tried to relax.

“Remember how I was looking into possession? It looks like there are only a few types of people who can be possessed -- Slayers, vampires, and witches -- and each has special conditions under which it can happen. We know when someone gets bitten by a vamp, they lose their soul and the demon takes their corpse for a ride. Given what we just did to Spike, that one pans out. But the lore says the Slayer is also possessed by a demon, and that just doesn’t hold --”

There was a knock on the window before Buffy opened the door and climbed in the seat with Dean. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything. I’m super jealous of the calm in here.” Damp from the drizzle, she nestled against her boyfriend.

Dean was happy to be holding her no matter what his brother thought. He kissed the top of her head, eliciting a contented sigh.

“Should I leave you two alone?” Sam asked.

“Shut up,” said Buffy. “Today’s been weird, okay?”

“Girls okay?”

“Okay-ish? No one’s talking to Lili, but I’m too worried about Spike to care.”

After being freed from the demon parasite that had been riding him for over a century, Spike had run out into the daylight and disappeared. At first, Buffy had been practically giddy. They had taken something from the darkness, but as the day wore on and Spike did not return, she poured her nervous energy into scrubbing the entire house from top to bottom and snapping at anyone who came near. It was like waiting to hear news from the surgeon. Someone had been opened up, but was the operation successful?

“I’m sure the poofy’s fine. He’s probably sulking in a mausoleum somewhere.”

“Or he’s being tortured by Lucifer again,” she said.

“Is he even still a vampire?” asked Sam. “I’m not sure the vampire and the demon are separate here.”

Dean glared at his brother. Not that he shared Buffy’s concern, but the last thing he wanted to do was compound her worries.

She drew little patterns on Dean’s chest with her fingertips, a habit when she was mulling an idea over. “If Spike is okay, if the exorcism managed to get rid of the demon and save the man, I was wondering if we could head to Los Angeles after all this Lucifer stuff is over and maybe --”

“I guess we could ask him,” Sam said, pointing to the end of the driveway where a pale figure paced back and forth in the rain.

They got out of the car as Spike walked by, shivering in his t-shirt. “Got a bloody clown car going?”

“Where have you been?” Buffy asked.

“Around.” He shuffled his feet and bounced, trying to get warm. “Can go all sorts of places in the daylight now.”

Dean tossed him a blanket from the backseat. “You can probably catch cold too. Let’s head in. It’s dinner time.”

The next day, Sam straddled a chair across from Buffy’s desk as they listened to the gaggle of girls on the other side of the cubicle wall. The school’s bewildered guidance counselor was trying to organize the flood of unexpected transfers whose papers Dean had faked.

I can’t believe this is working! Buffy mouthed. Having all but six of them in school all day was a relief.

“I wish we were in the same classes,” Cloé complained in Spanish.

“Chiquita, we’re two grades apart,” Gabi laughed.

“Why couldn’t they lie about that too?”

“It’s only seven hours, and look, we have the same lunch and study hall. Ooh, we have Sam for study hall. He’s cute.”

“Ew, he’s old,” protested Cloé.

Sam pretended he hadn’t heard them and asked Buffy, “Ready to jump back into ‘My parents don’t get me’ and ‘My teachers are so mean?’”

“God yes!” She twirled a pencil in her fingers. “You do remember how unvacationy vacation was, right?”

Sam patted the angry scars that ran across his abs. “I have my holiday souvenirs. Can’t wait for spring break.”

Being back at school was surreal. Sam was about to dive back into nearly eight hours a day helping teenagers and teachers with research, organizing the books, and updating files. Yet his Clark Kent hours bore a sickly green edge today. Caring about the state of the biography section seemed pointless when Lucifer was out of his cage and lurking near the school.

Killing the Turok-Han and a handful of Bringers had been spitting in Lucifer’s eye. Disarming his vampire sleeper agent was stomping the Devil’s toe. Any moment, he could send something new their way -- tormenting visions of the dead, an army of vampires, drunk clowns with knives. Different world. Different rules.

Just then, an unsmiling Principal Wood showed up, eyeing them with suspicion. “Glad to see you’re all up and at ‘em after your accident.”

“Couple of regular Christmas miracles,” said Buffy with a nervous smile.

Wood nodded before turning to Sam, all friendliness gone from his face. “Mr. Winchester, I was hoping to catch you before the bell. Would you mind stepping into my office?”

They walked through the remainder of the girls waiting for a student guide for their first day. Wood assumed his seat and stared at him over steepled fingers. The clock ticked louder than the bustle of students on the other side of the wall. He’d been in enough principals’ offices and interrogation rooms to know this tactic. Sam stared back.

The bell rang.

The clock ticked.

Opening a file, Wood said, “You don’t need to worry about the library. I was able to find a substitute.”

Sam continued to stare.

“I got bored over winter break, decided to investigate. You’re an intelligent man, Mr. Winchester, but something’s always been a little off about you. You swept in out of nowhere right when we needed a new librarian, waving your freshly printed Stanford diploma. You know Mr. Espada the chemistry teacher? He went to Stanford, too. His diploma doesn’t look like yours.” Wood slid copies of both documents across the desk, but Sam ignored them.

“I thought, ‘Maybe they changed the format.’ After all, he graduated a few years before you. But it gnawed at me, so I dug a little further and found Tiffany Tusing. Remember her?”

Judging by the giant smile plastered on Wood’s face, he was about to hit a home-run.

Sam continued to stare.

“Tiffany Tusing died in a car accident in 1993, which I am surprised we didn’t know before seeing as you’re using her social security number. Do you care to tell me why you used the social security number of a dead girl and falsified records to secure a position as Sunnydale High’s librarian?”

“I like books.”

“Suffice to say, as of right now you’re suspended while I investigate further. I will call you when it’s time to clean out your desk.”

Jada was excellent with a knife. Dean sat at the kitchen counter watching her chop vegetables with fury. If she ever decided to throw down against the monsters lurking outside, she wouldn’t be half bad in a fight.

“I still can’t believe he suspended you! Your reviews have been good. He hasn’t complained at all. What is his problem?”

“It’s personality clashes wrapped in politics. I’m sure it will be cleared up soon,” said Sam as he put salmon fillets on a baking sheet. Their fake identities obviously weren’t on the list of supernatural weirdness he’d explained to her.

“Want one, Dean, or are you having dinner with Buffy?” Sam asked with a smirk.

One glance at the fish and Dean curled up his lip in disgust. “Nah, she’s busy with the girls.”

“Girls?” Jada asked brightly, clearly happy to think about something other than how much she hated Principal Wood.

“Remember how I said there’s trouble at Buffy’s?” Sam asked.

“And the trouble is girls?” she repeated with an eyebrow raised. “Little girls or big girls?”

“Too many girls!” Dean grumbled. “Anyway, I think I’ll leave you to your whatever the hell you call that and take this leg out for a spin.” Tired of feeling useless, he had insisted the doctors x-ray his broken ankle. They were shocked to see it had healed in half the normal time, but Dean -- finally cast-less -- scooted out of the hospital before they could start running tests.

“Oh, okay, have a good time, Dean!” Jada waved at him with a smile. She was in comforting mode. He hoped Sam remembered to put a sock on the door.

Full of fries and a cheeseburger, Dean grabbed his beer and sauntered over to the pub’s neglected pool table. Before they’d decided to stay in Sunnydale, he and Sam had hustled pool at every bar in town to keep themselves in beer and scratchy sheets. Enough time had passed, they should be able to do another round. They could at least hit up nearby Santa Barbara. Keep the Potentials in cereal and whatever else a houseful of teenage girls could need.

Halfway through his second rack and third beer, someone said, “You’re pretty good.” At the other end of the table stood a tall, dark man with a goatee and shaved head. He was smiling, friendly.

After Buffy had told Dean about the extensive stalker file she’d found in the principal’s office, he had decided to look Robin Wood up. Brooklyn-born, he moved to the suburbs of Los Angeles after his mother was murdered when he was four. Always athletic, he played baseball and tennis all through school. He’d graduated in the middle of his class at UCLA, and spent several years in Teach for America before heading back to school for an administrative degree. On paper, he seemed like an all-American, up-from-nothing success story. Standing before him now, Dean didn’t like whatever secrets were behind Wood’s shining eyes.

“Wanna play?” Dean asked.

Wood whistled low. “Pretty sure you’d play me out of house and home.”

“Nah,” said Dean, racking the balls, “I only swindle my friends. You new to town, mister, uh?”

“Calvin! Name’s Calvin. Yeah, just moved up here from LA.” Wood extended his hand for a shake, but Dean left him hanging.

“That so?” Dean took the opening break shot, sinking two solids.

“Liking the small town life. Quaint. Calm. What about you, buddy? Lived here long?”

“Few months.”

“What brought you here?”

“Work.”

“Really? What do you do?” Wood asked, clearly determined to keep up his cheerful ruse.

“Exterminator.”

“Exterminator? Are the pests different in Sunnydale than where you’re from?”

“A bit.” Dean sunk two more balls. He was half finished before Wood even started.

Without a clear shot, Wood chose to bump his ball in Dean’s way. “What did you say your name was again?”

“I didn’t.”

Wood pursed his lips and nodded his head. “You’re not the most sociable guy are you?”

“Maybe I just don’t like you,” Dean growled.

“You don’t even know me.”

Dean flexed his fingers. The principal was an inch or two taller than him, with the thick arms of someone who’d spent time punching a bag. But bags didn't hit back.

Dean’s phone rang. Keeping his eye on his new friend, he answered, “Hey Girly. What’s up?”

“I’m done with training. Mind if I come over?” The bubbly tone to her voice indicated patrol had gone well.

“Sounds good.” He hung up and bumped into Wood’s shoulder, smirking. “It’s been fun, Robin. Let’s not do this again.”

Wood banished from his mind, Dean paced his room as he waited on Buffy to arrive. She hadn’t been over since Christmas Eve, and he was still pretty beaten up then. Though he’d spent the last week at her place, they’d barely had any time together.

A satisfied moan came from Sam’s room.

The pressure in Dean’s jeans was painful, so he went to the window to distract himself. He could just make out Orion’s belt through the bright lights of town. Buffy, not knowing where the mythic figures started and stopped, had claimed the cluster of stars making Orion’s shield as her own. The Slayer’s Heart, she called it. It was sappy and silly, but it was theirs. He wanted to share the sky with her.

Turning his face from the heavens to the street, Dean’s smile faded. A blue 1997 Dodge Stratus, the same car Robin Wood drove, was parked across the street. Dean was lacing his boots to confront the principal when Buffy opened his bedroom door.

In an instant, she was in his arms, her legs around his waist as he pressed her against the wall. Their kiss long and deep reveling in their perfect fit. “Missed you, Girly,” he said as he moved to kissing her neck.

A moan rose from deep in her throat as she played with his hair. “I can’t stay long -- twenty minutes tops, but I had to see you.”

He set her on top of his dresser and rubbed her leather-clad thighs. She knew those pants drove him crazy. “You’re smiling like you had a good day.”

“Mostly. You’re out of your cast. Spike came out of the basement and tried to feed himself; Alma had to teach him how to cook. Both Vi and Keisha staked vampires tonight. That’s three successful trainee patrols in a row.”

“I miss patrolling with you.”

“You, mister, are distracting with those kissable lips.” She sucked on his bottom lip like he was her favorite candy. “And that deep, rumbly voice. God, when you talk dirty--” She tugged off his shirt, a wolfish hunger in her eyes. “Other than the little things like Lucifer being out there doing God knows what and Wood suspending Sam--”

“Ugh.” Dean shook his head. “That jackass is outside.”

“What?!”

“Wood. I went down to the bar for dinner, and he was there trying to chat me up. Now he’s parked outside.”

Buffy dashed to the window. “I see you!” she yelled, pointing at her eyes and the car. It pulled away, disappearing down the block.

“Well, he just jumped up my priorities list,” she grumbled, the smile leaving her face for the first time.

“I was gonna pay him a visit tomorrow.”

“Don’t kill him.”

“That’s not Plan A.”

Sliding his hands under her sweater, he cupped one of her breasts. The tension melted from her face as he kneaded her body. “Right now, Plan A is to see how many times I can make you come in twenty minutes.”

“Challenge accepted,” she purred, pushing his pants to the floor.

Robin Wood lived in a small, well-maintained bungalow six blocks from the high school. The inside was sparsely decorated in cheap furniture from I’m Totally Normal Monthly. The warehouse plastic smell of newness still hung in the air. The kitchen drawers were full of kitchen supplies. The living room drawers were full of typical homeowner paperwork, DVDs, travel mementos, and one picture -- an old white man with his arm around a young black boy. The office was equally boring with proposals, budgets, and books on child psychology and educational theory.

It felt like a set.

In the bedroom, an old steamer trunk and a bookcase stuffed with old leather books sat at the foot of the bed. Like in his own room, the trunk was full of stakes, holy water, crossbows and any other weapon a vampire hunter would need. The extensiveness of the collection told him Wood wasn’t new to hunting -- and if he wasn’t new to hunting, maybe he knew who Buffy was.

He grabbed a book from the shelf and started reading.

After a couple of hours, keys jingled in the door. Not working late tonight. Dean listened as Wood walked around the house with the casual care of someone not suspecting an intruder. He lightly laid his finger on the trigger of his gun and aimed it at the door of the bedroom.

Wood entered the room and betraying only the slightest surprise, raised his hands. “I thought you didn’t want hang out anymore, Dean.”

“I believe in second chances. Haven’t decided yet if I want to shoot you, so I’m gonna put this gun down. You’re gonna go for the machete you keep by the door, but I already moved it. And I think you know fucking with me would hurt.”

Dean held up a book, a journal more specifically. “At first, I guessed you were a hunter with a Slayer fetish. Got all these Watcher’s journals to jerk off to. Explains why you’ve been stalking Buffy so hard.

“Then I get to this.”

He read from the first page, “‘She came back. After surviving her Cruciamentum -- while pregnant no less -- I encouraged Nikki to hide. I made all the arrangements and was ready to face the Council when they discovered the truth.

“‘But I should have known Nikki Wood couldn’t stay away from a fight. She returned with her infant son and went right back into the dark, stake in hand.

“‘Her son is sleeping soundly in a makeshift bed beside me while his mother is out saving the world. It’s not fair she was chosen. Not fair that so much will be taken from her. It is not the boy’s fault, and I fear what will become of Robin when his mother meets her inevitable end.’”

Dean snapped the book shut. “Your mother was a Slayer. So what, you have some oedipal crush on Buffy?”

“Don’t act like you know me,” Robin said through gritted teeth.

“What do you want with Buffy?”

“I’d prefer to tell her directly.”

“You’re driving. Pretty sure you know the way.”

Buffy and her boss sat alone in her kitchen. He stared at his hands with contrition. She hadn’t been sure what to make of Dean’s call telling her he was coming by with the most-likely-not-dangerous principal. “I wish you would have just told me this up front instead of acting like a creepy stalker.”

“In retrospect, I see how my research looked more unwanted ex and less detective dossier, but Slayers aren’t Girl Scouts.”

She watched two dozen Potentials practicing fighting forms in her backyard as she mulled over Wood’s story.

A Slayer had a child. A Slayer was a mother. Buffy firmly rejected certain Slayer traditions. Being alone. Being on the outskirts of society. But being childless always made sense. Even if she and the baby survived the pregnancy, she would never see it grow up. It would never remember her.

She didn’t want her four-year-old son at her funeral. She didn’t want him dedicating his life to avenging her. She didn’t want another Slayer down the line to look in his face and say, “I’m sorry. I can’t help you.”

Wood sighed, “Can’t say I blame you. First Evil sounds pretty demanding.”

“Keeps me on my toes.”

Spike, his hair mussed from sleep and with dark circles under his eyes, emerged from the basement. “Sorry, I’m just ‘ere for eggs,” he mumbled.

Gabi, Cloé and Vi dashed through the kitchen, giggling. Gabi assumed her instructor’s station at the front of the group outside, while the other two found places in the crowd.

“You’re late!” Dani yelled, zeroing in on Cloé while ignoring the other two.

Cloé bowed her head, her shoulders slumping as if bracing for a blow. “I’m sorry, we --”

“I don’t care! This is life and death.” The other girls stopped their exercises and stared at the scene with a mix of embarrassment and satisfaction. “Maybe I’ll start calling you Chum because you’re not going to be good for anything other than vampire bait.”

“Hey!” Gabi snapped. “I made them late. If you want to scream at someone you and I can do it later. This isn’t helping anyone.”

Dani curled her lip in disgust as she glared at Gabi. “Look, I’m in charge here--”

“No.” Gabi rose to her full height, a head taller than Dani. “Buffy is in charge. You’re not even number two. You want to take this inside or keep training?”

Looking back at the crowd of expectant girls, Dani pointed at Cloé. “Arms up, ladies! You call that a stance?”

Wood turned away from the scene, eyebrows raised. “At least I’ve solved the mystery of the flood of transfers. I’m assuming the Winchesters forged all of their paperwork?”

Andrew stomped in. “Spike, don’t forget to wash the pan when you’re done. I had to clean all of your dishes yesterday.”

Wood pointed at the two men. “Not Potentials.”

“No! This is Spike and Andrew. The First is after them, so they’ve been living in my basement.”

“Spike and Andrew.” Wood eyed Spike’s back as the former vampire plated his food. “Buffy, does this First thing have anything to do with this goat-face seal I keep finding in the basement?”

Andrew gulped. Spike turned to look at Wood, a burning intensity in his eyes.

“Who are you?” Spike asked.

“Robin Wood, principal at Sunnydale High.” Wood extended his hand, which Spike reluctantly shook.

“Wood’s mother was a Slayer.”

“Slayers have kids?” Spike looked the new guy over with renewed interest.

“One did at least. Nikki Wood. New York. 70s,” Wood said.

“Sorry, my Slayer ‘istory’s not so good,” Spike said, grabbing a fork and taking his eggs to the basement.

With a sigh, Andrew put Spike’s dirty pan in the sink. “You’ve seen the seal?”

“Yeah, someone keeps digging it up. I found a body down there once lying on top of it.”

Andrew avoided eye contact. “What did you do with it? Asking for a friend.”

“Seeing as this is Sunnydale, I buried the kid outside of town. Last time I found the seal exposed, I covered it in concrete, reburied it, piled supplies on it, and had the door welded shut.”

“Thorough,” said Buffy, relieved Lucifer wasn’t going to be able to pull any more Turok-Han from the Hellmouth. At least not soon. “You know if you want to help…”

“Much as I want to spend more time with teenagers, I think I’ll stick to searching for the vampire who killed my mom.”

“You’re certain it’s in Sunnydale?”

“Absolutely. Tell you what. I’ll lift Sam’s suspension. Not like I could have found a replacement librarian in the middle of the year anyway. What’s their deal, by the way? I couldn’t find anything on the Winchesters.”

Buffy chuckled. “The Winchesters are a different kind of wild story. If you want to know, come back and ask them yourself. After you figure out how to get on their good side.”

Spike leaned forward over the utility sink to get a closer look at himself in the mirror. He’d forgotten what he looked like. Too angular for Victorian sensibilities, but handsome for the modern day.

Hadn’t that been the entire problem? William Pratt was always too something for his neighbors, his mother, his adored. Too meek. Too earnest. Too emotional. William Pratt did not belong.

Now wasn’t much better. He wasn’t a vampire, but was he a man? He was stronger than average. A little faster.

Before Drusilla had turned him, he’d written longhand ledgers, a human calculator. What was he supposed to do now? Wash sheets at the Motor Inn, saving to get a crumby apartment? Worry about his cholesterol and toenail fungus? Not think about the murders he’d gladly committed?

No, whatever was in the mirror wasn’t a man.

“What are you doing?” Andrew asked.

His voice startled Spike, who’d been so absorbed in his reflection, he hadn’t noticed the arrival of his roommate. “I was just marveling at wot a ‘andsome devil I am. Cheekbones.”

“Some guys have it all,” Andrew said with a sigh as he settled onto his cot.

“Is that guy gone? Big black fellow?”

“Yeah, he left a while ago. Didn’t seem too happy.”

“Right, well, I guess I’ll see to that...thing that needs seeing,” Spike said, heading upstairs.

Buffy stood on the back porch, overseeing Dani and Gabi leading the Potentials in a series of martial arts exercises. Spike didn’t know much of trained fighting. Seemed to take the fun out of it, especially when it came to fighting a disciplined, organized, knowledgeable Slayer, the ultimate test of improvisation.

He decided to leave out the front door, but Sam and Dean were in the driveway repairing the Impala. Spike hadn’t seen the car after Buffy wrecked it, but from the stories, he was surprised it wasn’t in a junkyard.

“Hey, Spike,” Sam called, waving him over.

Dean rose from where he’d been crouched by the front fender. “Hit it, Sammy.”

Sam flipped the knob to check one turn signal then the other. Dean gave a thumbs up before disappearing in front of the car again.

“How’re you doing?” Sam asked.

At one point in the underground church, Sam had lost hope and began to confess his darkest deeds. He’d hunted down a demon named Lilith. “I wanted revenge because she’d killed Dean, but Dean was back, so it was really about me, wasn’t it? My power. My abilities. Me saving the day.”

“Did you kill the bitch?”

Sam had chuckled, a thin wheeze, at the question. “You know what I had to do to get strong enough to kill Lilith? I killed and drank a demon possessed pediatric nurse. I drank until she turned ashen. I drank until my stomach strained, and I told myself, ‘Greater good, right?’”

“You’re making me hungry.”

“Wanna know the irony? Me killing Lilith, that’s what unleashed Lucifer.”

And now Sam, far from the brink of death, sat in his brother’s car testing turn signals. A not-so-innocent human with demon-blood tainted veins.

Spike opened the back door and slipped into the back seat. He almost missed the blood lust. His demon had guided him, amping up his every dark impulse for over a century. Without it, he had all of the baggage of someone he knew and no idea where he was going. But he didn’t want to go back. “I feel like I just woke up from a coma, but it’s ‘alloween and I’m in a blimey gorilla costume.”

Sam squinted at him, confused. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Metaphor needs work. Point is, I feel a little out of sorts with just myself rattling around up there.”

“It’ll take some getting used to.”

“Does anyone ever get used to humanity?” Spike asked, twisting his lips in a smirk to cover his sincerity.

“No,” said Sam quietly. “Some voices and faces always haunt you.”

“Like the nurse?”

Sam looked away in shame. They may both be killers, but only one of them had ever been proud of it. “Her husband never even knew what happened.”

“But sorry doesn’t change the past, no matter ‘ow many lives we get, does it?”

“No.”

“But life is just living, isn’t it?” Spike said. “The pain, the sex, the shame, the victories, they’re all part of the package.”

Finished with training, the Potentials began to flood the front yard, doing cartwheels and chasing each other. Enjoying the last bit of sun before nightfall forced them inside.

Giant grin plastered on his face, Dean sauntered around the car. “Baby’s ready to roll, Sammy.” His grin faded a bit when he saw Spike. “Dude, you’re practically glowing. It’s like you haven’t seen the sun in a century.”

Spike sighed. “Look out, George Carlin. A new wit has arrived.”

Dean shrugged. “We hid the beer in the cooler if you want one.” He left them to pick up his tools.

Sam smiled, soft and concerned, at Spike. “One day at a time. It’s going to be hard and weird, but I’m here for you. Call me if you feel like doing anything stupid.”

Spike was about to do something stupid. He paced in the pool of a street light in front of the little green bungalow. He wished he had a cigarette, but trying to smoke made him cough, his lungs burn. After sunset, he’d had a beer or three to convince himself his idea wasn’t suicidal.

What he did know with certainty: William Pratt would not have come. William Pratt would have wrung his hands, written at length, then waited in hiding until his mother handled the problem.

Damning evidence in hand, Spike would confront this head on.

He knocked on the door. Robin Wood answered immediately as if he’d been waiting on Spike to call. “I heard about your mum, and I, uh, I have information about her.”

Wood nodded slowly. “Meet me in the back, okay?”

New York in the 1970s had stunk of piss and cheap cigarettes. Between horny business men looking for fun in Times Square and a flood of punks wandering in and out of clubs, it was an easy meal. Not even having a Slayer in town did much to stem the tide of deaths.

Behind Wood’s house stood a dark garage with the door ajar. Spike peeked inside. “‘ello?”

It hadn’t taken Spike long to hunt down New York’s Slayer. Tall and lithe, Nikki moved with the grace and force of a prize fighter, exposing bone with her fists, sending teeth flying into the night. Spike watched her as she killed standard vampires without breaking a sweat. Once she tangled with two members of the Sisterhood of Jhe, throwing one into the other, impaling them at the same time when they were trapped in a dumpster. He was going to enjoy dancing with her.

A sting in his neck. Spike spun on his heels and knocked a shadow back against the garage door frame. Feeling woozy, he raised his fists.

Spike and Nikki had fought in the park a week before, a congenial how-do-you-do sort of fight. When he caught her in the subway, empty but for a few late-night party kids puking their guts out, he knew she was tired and ready to fold. With a smile on his face, he’d snapped her neck.

The door slid closed. Wood chuckled, “Feeling a little sick? My own mix. A little sedative and a little holy water.” The light blazed on, highlighting the cross-covered walls.

Wood, slipping on a pair of brass knuckles, stood between Spike and the door. “Oh, did you think I didn’t know you, Spike? British punk trash. About a hundred and forty. Lately, spotted with the Slayer. Strange since he killed two, including my mother.”

Spike dodged a punch. He may not be a vampire anymore, but he was still oddly quick. “What’s the plan then? Kill me and mummy comes back to you?”

They circled each other. A jab. A weave. The formerly cool principal was practically rippling with rage.

Wood lunged. Spike grabbed his arm and swung him into a table, knocking the air from him.

“She didn’t say anything when I killed her. No begging. No pleading. No final thoughts of you.”

“She died a hero, unlike you,” Wood growled.

“Maybe we died the same,” Spike said, ignoring the threat in Wood’s voice. “Alone, in the dark, running away from people who cared about us. Is that what bothers you most? Mummy’s good and dead because she kept picking us over you.”

Wood shouted, picked up a set of throwing knives, and began to use him for target practice. Thunk! The first blade hit the wall close to Spike’s head.

Thunk!

The sedative was pulling Spike down, his limbs rubber, his vision blurry. He twisted trying to dodge the knives, but one grazed his side, another cut into his arm.

Thunk! Thunk!

Once the knives were all stuck in the wall behind him, Spike dove at the principal’s legs. They rolled on the ground, trading punches. Spike jabbed Wood with his elbow and landed a cracking blow to his ribs.

“Show me your real face!” Wood screamed, rolling on top of Spike, hitting him over and over. Spike could feel his flesh tearing, the blood spilling out as vengeance pummeled his face and body.

Using every bit of strength the drugs had left him, Spike pushed Wood off and grabbed a cross from the wall.

Nothing happened.

Wood stared, dumbfounded. “But the Watcher’s diaries --”

“Were right,” Spike said, pointing to a plastic grocery bag he’d dropped by the door. “I killed your mum. Came here to apologize. But then you were a twat so I didn’t.”

Holding his breath and with his eyes still on Spike, Wood knelt down to open the bag. Inside was a long leather coat. His mother’s coat.

The garage door slid open. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” yelled Buffy.

The principal, bleeding from a cut above his eye, rose and glared at Buffy. “This doesn’t involve you, Slayer.”

“You beat up one of my friends, you bet it involves me,” she said through gritted teeth.

Wood snorted, eyeing Spike with disgust as he slowly found his footing. “Friend? Do you even know what he is?”

“The vampire part or the killed your mom part? Yeah, I figured it out.”

Eyeing Spike with a little more curiosity than loathing, Wood asked, “Is he a vampire?”

“Was,” Spike said, trying and failing to stand. “You missed filling your life-long vengeance quest by about two days.”

“There’s -- there’s a cure?” Wood asked quietly.

“Only for very good boys.” Spike spit blood and grinned.

“Are you listening? Because I want to know if you can follow the simplest of instructions.” Buffy asked, her arms crossed and eyes blazing with fury. “ But here’s the thing, Robin, even if Spike were still a monster, he’d still be more of a man than you.”

Wood’s jaw flexed, his eyes dark and cold. “You don’t--”

“Did I say you could talk? If you come around me and mine again, I recommend crawling on your hands and knees.” Buffy helped Spike up and lead him outside.

“What were you thinking coming here?” she asked, shifting to support more of his weight.

The cold air sucked at the sweat and blood coating Spike’s skin sending a quick shiver through him. “You really think I’m a man now?”

“Well, Jeffrey Dahmer was a man, so the bar is low.” Buffy stopped and gazed at him. The moonlight glistened in her eyes as she gently touched the bruises on his face. “Do you think you’re not?”

“Thought making amends would be a good first step.” He held his breath while he took in the angles of her nose, her large sad eyes, the fluttering kiss of her fingers.

“You tried to kill me,” she said softly. “Then you helped me save the world. And now look at you with your soul without your demon. You’ve survived more and grown more than most men could dream.”

She shook her head sharply, the trance broken, and continued walking him down the block. “We need to get you patched up. Infections are totally a thing.”

He still craved her touch. “‘ow’d you know where I was?”

“Sam thought you were acting weird. I followed you.”

Spike hoped they weren’t walking far. As the fight drained out of him, the pain grew, his head throbbing, knuckles aching, one ankle sharp. “What do you think’s out there for an ex-vampire? Side show freakery?”

“You know what I want for you?” she asked. “I want you to find someone who could just know William Pratt, the man who has sacrificed himself for love over and over. Sometimes stupidly. Sometimes selfishly. Often perfectly.”

“You a fan of Pratt, then?”

Buffy shook her head. “Not for me, William. Be that man for her, whoever she is.”

With the stomach-churning taste of blood on his tongue, he chuckled. “You think love is in the cards for me?”

She half-smiled. “You’ve been a vampire, captured by the government, and been to Hell. I think you’re due for something good.”

They turned the corner where Dean was waiting in the freshly repaired Impala. Spike sighed but said nothing.

Buffy still picked up on his let-down. “You smell like a vampire Happy Meal. Probably better we don’t walk through town. You can crash at Dean’s. We don’t need the the girls knowing their principal beat up Crazy Basement Guy.”

“Is that what they call me?”

“Also Mystery Guy and Andrew’s Roommate.”

Spike slapped his hand over his heart in mock horror and climbed in the backseat of the Impala.

Read Giles’ dossiers on: Lili Alma Dani Vi Cloé Molly Lys Grace Wook Keisha Leticia Naomi Kate Gabi Jabulela

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#spn x btvs #buffy x dean #buffy supernatural crossover #spn fanfic #btvs fanfiction #btvs series #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #buffy summers #spike #robin wood #sam winchester #potential slayers #andrew wells #buffy fan fiction #dean x buffy #btvs x spn #hunters on the hellmouth #huntersonthehellmouth

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spaceghetti-queen · 7 years

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#yourdarkestweek: Day 4- Shinigami for BO-week hosted by @detectiveconan-week

Title: Sense Characters: Sherry//Gin// Akemi M., I guess? Word count: 2k70 Excerpt: She knew Gin would be beyond mad upon finding her dead. A little piece of her even wondered if he would be sad as well. She doubted it. read on: AO3 // ff.net

The call came in earlier than Gin had expected; but then again, Sherry was a smart one. It had only been two days since the death of Miyano Akemi, two days since he’d eliminated the tumour that had grown and begun to spread all the way through his private life. Two days since he’d taken the first relaxed breath in months. He wouldn’t have to worry about the treacherous ideas Miyano would feed her sister anymore. He wouldn’t have to fear Sherry to be gone by morning, swallowed up in her sister’s foolish suicide missions. And the best thing yet, he wouldn’t have to consider any possible consequences treason would have for his lover any longer. As of now, he could finally be at peace. With that in mind he answered the call. “Why is she dead?”

When those collected words greeted him instead of tears, he had to admit that he was taken aback. Gin had expected weeping and wailing, had been prepared to comfort a pain he didn’t know nor would ever experience. Had he been so wrong about Sherry’s love for her sister; had he miscalculated the grief Miyano’s death would cause? Gin recalled the numerous times Sherry had talked about her sister. The way her face had brightened up in those moments had spoken of deep affection, not the indifference he could hear now. For a second, he wondered if all the hard work he’d invested in getting rid of Miyano had been unnecessary in the long run, but decided against this idea soon. Being done with Miyano was many things, but not a mistake. Yet, the lack of devastation in Sherry’s voice was off plan. In the end, tears could always be dried with lies; calmness, however, demanded a truth he couldn’t give. Ever.

“I’m on my way to you, we talk then.” After that, the other end of the line went dead without another word.

Gin found her waiting inside her lab. Sherry’s face didn’t betray any hint of emotion, a fact he would’ve admired if it wasn’t making his plans so much harder. The scientist stood when he entered the room. She wore the same clothes as last night, so he deduced she hadn’t made it home from his place this morning. “Since when did you know?” She asked in the same stoic manner as on the phone earlier. He sensed that they were past greetings today. “The morning after it happened.” Gin made a step towards her, wanted to get hold of her, but she turned away.

“You had plenty of opportunities to tell me since then.” Just when he was about to answer, she threw yesterday’s newspaper at him. Miyano had made it to the front page. He cursed himself. For days he’d tried to keep Sherry off any news whatsoever. Despite the sharp gesture, her voice remained calm. “Why do I have to learn from the newspaper that my sister is dead?” They stared at each other. To that question he had no answer that wouldn’t make everything worse. He let silence speak for itself. “Who did it?” She asked then. She wouldn’t meet his eyes this time and he knew that she feared the one answer he wouldn’t ever give her. The truth. He’d done it. He’d killed the only family she’d left in order to fill the now empty spot with himself. He would savour every moment of it. “I don’t know.” Gin lied. “Why, then? What did she do?”

“There was talk of betrayal.” Sincere surprise showed in Sherry’s face. She opened her mouth to contradict his words, but knew better than claiming her sister had always been faithful to the Organization. But real betrayal? That sudden? Sherry couldn’t see any reason in it. Her sister would never have done something that would get both of them into trouble, not while the affair with that FBI agent was still an omnipresent threat to them. “She wouldn’t have tried to leave without telling me.” Upon speaking her words, she realised how lame they must’ve sounded. Truth was, she couldn’t have sworn on her sisters loyalties; they’d met so rarely and never talked about the Organization, let alone of plans for leaving it. She couldn’t deny the possibility that Akemi might have had her own agendas. “You mean she wouldn’t have tried to escape without you.” The edge in Gin’s tone made Sherry narrow her eyes. “What are you implying?” “I’m saying that you’re lucky nobody thinks you’ve any connection to her treason. I’m sorry for your loss, but it’s just one less thing to worry about.” Sherry glared at him as hot fury rose inside her. She knew he could be insensitive- it was a flaw they shared- but this statement was awfully cold, even for him.

Sherry was about to scold him for it, when another thought crossed her mind. What if not only Gin had worried about her sister, but the Organization itself? She had always been the important one; her sister had been little more than a mere afterthought of the glorious scientists their parents had been. What if the Organization had feared betrayal not from her sister, but from herself? In the end, blood was thicker than water, wasn’t it? As her legs gave in, Sherry took hold of her desk. That one ugly idea took root in her head and suddenly breathing became strangely hard. “Why did she really have to die?”

Gin had taken another step towards her and searched her face. He could watch all that composure Sherry had mustered crumble. He couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or not. He forced the roughness from his touch and took her ashen face into his hands. “I don’t know.” He claimed again.This time, she knew that it was just another lie.

Everything felt too wrong to be real. And of course everything was in fact very wrong. Her sister was dead and nobody would tell her why. It was also very likely that she was the cause of this wrongness. But the worst thing was that the man she’d assumed she could trust, lied to her face just when her world stopped to make sense altogether. She felt hot and cold at the same time. “Liar.” Sherry hissed and drew back from his touch. Gin let go of her.

Later, Gin realised that it had been a mistake to soften his grip instead of firming it. He should’ve had held onto her as long as possible. He turned away from Sherry; he wanted a cigarette, he wanted peace. He wanted to be completely free of the looming shadow that had been Miyano.

Too late did he notice that Sherry had made herself busy. Frantically she’d started to pull out the cables from her computer. It’s screen went dark. Gin raised an eyebrow and tried to grab the woman’s wrist to stop whatever she was doing, but she was already heaving the computer. A second later the device hit some chemical samples and crushed them beneath it. There was the loud rattle of breaking glass that would soon start to attract curious glances from the other lab staff.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Roughly he pulled her away from the desk and the broken samples, which he assumed weren’t all too healthy to breath in.

“I’ll destroy any progress of that damned drug unless I’m told what really happened.” She fought against his grip, which earned her little more than an irritated look. “You don't know what you're saying.”

She only stared back at him. He wondered when exactly the fire inside her eyes had started to kindle. Gin decided she was out of her mind, she was… in shock, he realised then. He’d been a fool to not notice sooner. The lack of tears, the grave mood swings, the nonsense from her mouth; it only made sense.

He softened his grip anew. He looked at Sherry’s shattered work and lead her out of the lab. To his displeasure a little crowd of scientists had already gathered. He didn’t want them to see Sherry losing it, but attracting more attention wasn’t good either.

“You’re in shock.” He started calmly. “Get yourself together right now and we shall never speak of this again.” Gin indicated the mess inside her lab. Ignoring him, Sherry noticed the curious faces as well. She decided on the spot that she hated all of them, especially the one’s who were an inherent part of the Organization. It seemed wrong that these parasites lived while her sister didn’t. “What are you looking at?” She hissed at the crowd. “Why don’t you go and mind your own fucking business?!”

The people began to whisper and Gin pushed her farther down the floor.

She stood with her back to the wall. Suddenly, his face was unbearably close, his features full of false pity. When Gin spoke, his voice was oddly soft. He was full of lies. “Enough, Sherry.” It sounded like a plea, but she knew him better than that. “Don’t go where I cannot help you.” Sherry tried to shove him away. “I don’t want your fucking help. I want the truth.” His face darkened then. “The Organization doesn’t want you to know.” He was angry now, but she truly didn’t care. For a moment she let the words hang between them. She took a deep breath, but held his glare.

“Then they can go to hell.”

It was interesting to watch emotions change so fast. Whatever anger had been written over Gin’s face was now exchanged by cold fury.

“Watch out, love, people might start to question your loyalty as well.” “They might be right to wonder.” She spat. “This is treason.” His voice was so low, she had to lean in to hear him. “So be it.” There was a pause in his movement, just for a short moment, but it had been there nonetheless. She knew it was the last chance he would give her. The last chance for her to take back what she’d said. It was much for someone like him to offer, but it wasn’t enough. It wouldn’t bring her sister back. It wouldn’t set anything right. It was useless. Sherry had said what was left to say, so she remained silent. Gin, understanding her answer, nodded. “As you wish.”

After that, things had gotten dull. Vodka had appeared at some point, she guessed. He and Gin had lead her down some stairs and when the world had slowly started to put itself together again, Sherry’d found herself chained to a pipe in some of the lab’s cellars. The anger was gone, even the pain; everything that remained was numbness.

That was how it would end, she thought. After all those years in which she’d followed the Organization’s wishes, after she’d even started to think that a life like her’s wasn’t too bad, she realised that everything had been for naught. Nothing made sense without her sister.

Now, everything she could do was waiting for her end. Sooner or later they would come back with her punishment. It was cold in the cellar and when Sherry put her hands inside the pocket of her lab coat for some warmth, she felt the small pill at her fingertips. Surprised she took it out. She tried to remember when she’d put one of the drugs in her pocket, or why, but she couldn’t find an answer. Perhaps her subconsciousness had already prepared for an outcome like this. Now, she regarded her deadly work- it was made of equations and poison, of nightmares and devotion. It was made of things she understood; things that made sense.

And just like that it was decided. She knew Gin would be beyond mad upon finding her dead. A little piece of her even wondered if he would be sad as well. She doubted it. In the end, it didn’t even matter.

When Sherry took the pill to her lips and swallowed it, it felt like the only logical thing to do.

It had been a few hours since he’d locked her in the cellar, enough time for her to regain her senses. He’d been mad, but her behavior was nothing he couldn’t handle. He would forgive her words; though, he admitted that her new attitude might turn out to be somewhat worrisome. As always, Gin would keep both eyes on her.

The heavy door opened slowly, and when he could see into the cellar the water bottle he’d bought fell from his hands. There was no sign of Sherry whatsoever. He picked up the lonely handcuffs that were still fastened to the pipe. She was gone, but it didn’t make sense. Nobody had the key to the cellar, except him, and the lock hadn’t been picked. He looked around silently, while his head worked like crazy. The only other exit from the cellar was a rubbish chute. He didn’t even bother opening it. No fully grown person- not even someone as petite as Sherry- would’ve fit through it. Yet, she was in fact gone. She’d escaped them, him, which made her nothing less than a traitor.

It was impossible that she’d been able to escape by her own, through, so there must have been another person to help her. Had he missed something even before killing Miyano? Gin left swiftly. It didn’t matter who’d helped her, but he would find them.

A traitor was a traitor, whatever history there was between them. And traitors needed to be punished.It was the only logical thing to do.

#yourdarkestweek #ginsherry #detective conan #dcmk #meitantei conan #black organization #gin #sherry #miyano akemi #haibara ai #shiho miyano #oh look she writes again

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elliebea-blog1 · 8 years

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The City of Lights & Love.

INVOLVED: Ellie Rose & Summer Townsend. TIME FRAME: Monday, December 19th, 2016. LOCATION: Restaurant; Paris, France. NOTES: Ellie and Summer talk while on vacation in Paris.

Summer sat down at the table across from Ellie, a small smile tugging at her lips as she gazed upon her girlfriend. Glancing down at the menu, she immediately ordered two bottles of red wine for them. “And whatever else she wants.” Summer told the waiter gesturing towards Ellie.

Ellie looked to Summer and she licked her lips slowly watching the girl. She was so happy to be on the family trip with her and that only in turn made Ellie a little excited and happy to be here with them as well. As Summer ordered them two bottles of red wine Ellie raised a curious eyebrow in Summer’s direction and at Summer’s next set of words Ellie looked down. “Uh” she breathed. “I think I am fine with the wine for now” she spoke. Ellie looked back to Summer and she tucked her lips in slowly as she sat across for her.

Summer looked at Ellie watching her expression and she chuckled softly. “We’re in Paris…” She said softly. “A few drinks won’t hurt.” She said quietly, trusting Ellie to not let drinking overtake her. It had been some time since Ellie had left rehab and she felt like Ellie could control herself. Licking her lips, she smiled and leaned forward, resting her elbows against the table. “This place is amazing.” She said softly, gesturing around the restaurant, but also referencing the city.

Ellie nodded slowly, amused by her once fiancée’s decision to allow her to drink in front of her. She trusted her and that was interesting to Ellie. “I suppose you are right, a few drinks won’t hurt anyone at all” she confirmed. “It is” Ellie said nodding her head as she looked around herself. “Always have been a beautiful travel destination” she told her with a smile. “So…” she breathed out to her, licking her lips again. It was awkward being here with her, traveling with her, seeing sights with her with all the pent up aggression she had for her. It was something about allowing the person you fell deeply in love with, tear you down time after time rather it be intentionally or not. The last blow hurt far worse than the others and though Ellie put on a happy face, deep down the dim flame Summer was growing over time.

Summer gazed at Ellie, her head resting in her hands as she watched her before she looked down, glancing over the menu before her, grateful for the English translations. Humming softly to herself she read over the menu before looking up at Ellie. “So... “ She trailed off herself, not knowing what to say. It was clear to her that Ellie wasn’t into them as much as she was. She wasn’t blind and she wasn’t stupid, however, she thought maybe Paris - one of the most beautiful places in the world - could spark something for them again. Pulling her bottom lip into her mouth she looked back at the menu. “Do you know what might be good?” She asked Ellie softly.

Sitting back in her seat a bit Ellie cleared her throat she was sure she had been gazing at Summer on the account of the girls glances. Ellie pulled herself out of her own thoughts and she looked to the menu thinking. “Uh” she said as she read on trying to remember herself, looking for something to spark a memory. “Steak frites are good. Steak and chips basically” Ellie told her trying to think of something Summer would like to eat. “Uh, Duck Confit” she listed as she continued to read. “What do you have a taste for? Maybe I can find something similar for you” she told her sweetly.

Summer looked down at her menu again, looking at the meals that Ellie suggested before she thought to herself. “Steak and chips sounds good.” She said gently. “Or maybe some type of pasta.” She said with a bit of a shrug. She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted. “Hmm.” She said quietly.

Ellie nodded as her eyes scanned the menu still and she said “I think I will have the duck.” Ellie looked to Summer before she said “get the steak and chips babe. I want some croissants too” she breathed out shifting in her seat.

Summer nodded looking down at the menu again as she gazed over what Ellie wanted. “Sounds good.” She said softly, looking over the steak and chips on the menu. “Mmm.” She hummed out before she looked up from the menu to gaze at Ellie. Tucking her lips inward she sighed, tapping her fingers against the table. Their waiter returned holding two bottles of red wine, placing them on the table along with two glasses before he popped the top and poured them both a glass. “Here you are ladies. Are you ready to order?” He asked them politely.

Ellie looked to the man as he filled their glasses and she nodded her head. “Yes” she told him before she said “I will have the duck” she told him “with everything” she told him she rarely ever removed anything from a dish or added anything to a dish. She looked down again “and croissants” she told him. “Also could you bring me a glass of water please” she said not wanting to really consume alcohol the way she had been recently in front of Summer or in general for this trip.

Summer smiled at their waiter as he poured their wine for them and she grabbed the glass, gulping the alcohol down quickly before she ordered. “I’ll have the steak and chips.” She said softly, a small burp escaping her from guzzling the wine so quickly. The waiter, nodded, quickly jotting down their orders before asking, “is there anything else you ladies would like?”

Ellie looked to Summer slightly before she looked back to the waiter “that would be all for now, thank you” she told him gently as she looked back to Summer again. She lifted her own glass to her lips sipping slightly before she sat it back down. She shifted in her chair swaying back and for pulling her dress down a bit as she did and she looked down at the table idly.

Summer poured herself a second glass of wine, sighing softly. She gulped down the second glass quickly before sitting it back on the table. Leaning forward she placed her head in her hands again. Staring across the table at Ellie, Summer bit her lip, unsure of what to say.

Looking up to see Summer staring at her once more Ellie looked back to her. “What?” she asked her.

Summer shrugged her shoulders slightly. “What do you mean what?” Sumer asked Ellie softly as she sat up and grabbed the wine bottle again, pouring herself another glass. She obviously hadn’t thought this through. She had Ellie didn’t have anything to talk about.

Ellie squinted slightly as she looked Summer. “Okay” she told her as she grabbed the bottle and sat it closer to her. “I don’t know what’s going on right now” Ellie admitted as she looked to Summer.

Summer looked at Ellie, watching as Ellie grabbed the bottle of wine and she picked up her glass, sipping from it this time. “Ellie…” Summer sighed. “What are we doing?” She asked quietly.

Thinking to herself for a moment “dating” Ellie replied simply. She didn’t know what else to tell Summer because it was the truth. They were dating. “I don’t know what you mean. If you think the stunts you have pulled is something I am just suppose to toss aside and forget about… I don’t really know what to offer you. I am trying to get past it but the truth is I loved Derrick. Maybe a tad bit more than I ever really loved you and that was stolen from me” she told her. “I didn’t settle for the next best thing I want to be here with you however. I am tired of being hurt, something you completely ignore. Your actions Summer…”

Summer gazed at Ellie, shaking her head. “How long are you going to hold shit from years ago over my head?” Summer asked Ellie. “Despite what you might think, I didn’t kill Derrick.” She said softly. “If Blaze was involved with Derrick, I assure you that didn’t have anything to do with me. We weren’t even together at that time, he wouldn’t of had any reason to go after you or him for that matter.” She told Ellie. “Ellie, I am trying… but you can’t see that because you're always looking for me to mess up.”

“Do you actually think that if I felt that way, that you’d be looking at me across this table?” Ellie asked her honestly. “I think you know me far better than that” she said. “I am not putting you at the scene of the crime but… had I know the truth it could have maybe helped the situation. But then again of course why are you to care because after all I am here with you right? Something that wouldn’t even be possible had I actually married and been with Derrick” Ellie told her. “Your reputation is everything Summer. And sadly you are a liar. Something you don’t even try to hide so why should I not hold that over our head?” she said blinking slowly. “Funny thing with lying when you do it enough… even when you want to ‘change’ and try to better yourself. You still made it hard for people to believe you…” she said simply. “What’s the point, you always get caught and you are the one that looks stupid in the end” she breathed. “Months back I didn’t ask you for a break up because I don’t want one. I asked for time. And a sign that you actually want to marry me and I still haven’t seen it yet. But I am here, because like a disease and a parasite I cannot get rid of you. I like having you around…”

Summer shook her head. “You might not feel that way but that’s surely how you act.” She told Ellie. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it mattered anymore.” Summer told Ellie. “Not mentioning something is not the same as lying.” She said to Ellie. “I just never brought it up.” She said with a sigh Ellie’s words cutting her deeply. She looked away from her, guzzling down the rest of the wine in her glass before she reached across the table and snatched up the bottle, drinking straight from it. “Ellie when’s the last time I lied to you?” She asked her honestly. “I haven’t.” She said shaking her head. “Ellie why do you think we’re here?” She asked gesturing around them, still holding the bottle in her hand. “It’s impossible with you.” She said shaking her head once more, drinking more from the bottle. “You don’t allow me the opportunities.” She said. “Admit it Ellie, you don’t want to be with me…” She said drinking some more of the wine.

Ellie looked to Summer, as she all but made a scene at the table and Ellie shook her head. “Summer if I didn’t want to be here I wouldn’t be” she said outright. “I wouldn’t” she told her. “I subjected myself to more pain because I want to be here. I could’ve killed you when you walked through the door with Kori in tow. And then let’s not forget the ring you were sporting” she breathed out. “I love you Summer” she said outright. “I always have” she breathed. “I just need time because this is fresh. This is new” she told her. “I had a baby with him and he will never get to see her face and she will never get to see his” she told her. “I was doing great. I was doing fine without you and you walk through my door and all of that shit came flooding back. Despite it all Summer I have always been right here. Despite” she said. “I’ve never left you behind…” she said. “The only thing I have ever held you accountable for is you lying and that’s because ‘til this day you still battle with that and I don’t understand how when you should be able to tell me, someone you swear you love, the truth without any hesitation” she told her. “I just want you to grow up a little, because I have grown. I have blossomed. I have conquered, I’m not the same little girl that had drunken sex with you - and all you have to show from our time apart is baby…” she told her.

Summer gazed up on Ellie, sitting the bottle down on the table, hiccupping slightly. “Ellie…” Summer sighed out. “That was a mistake…” She said shaking her head. “Wait… I’m not calling Kori a mistake.” She said correcting herself. “I am saying how that all went down was a mistake.” She told her, blinking slowly as the wine sat into her bloodstream, she was such a light weight. “We said we wanted a baby.” She said gesturing between the two of them. “And I wanted Clinton to be the dad.” She said chuckling at her own stupidity. “Why? I don’t know.” She said. “I was on this whole he should have a chance to be a parent too.” She said shaking her head at herself. “But regardless, the entire thing was fucked up.” She said looking Ellie in her eyes. “I get that and I’ll take the blame because it was surely my fault.” She said pointing at herself. “We all fought and you left…” She said sighing out. “And turns out 29 wasn’t too old to get pregnant because boom, the stick turned blue.” She snorted gently. “So being the man he is. He proposed.” She said, explaining for whatever reason she did not know. “I wanted it to have been you.” She said, shaking her head again. “I always want it to be you.” She told Ellie. “But you… you found him.” She said thinking about Derrick. “And you were happy.” She said before she sighed out. “You might hate me for saying this but I’m glad he’s dead.” She said without regret. “Because that means I was able to have you back.” She told her. “But I didn’t know having you back meant having the resentment of his death along with it.” She said sighing out. “Ellie, I am trying to be better.” She said. “I really am.” She said placing her hands on her chest. “I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I didn’t mean it and with all my heart I call tell you that I haven’t lied. Ask me anything, I’ll tell you the honest to God truth.” She said holding up her right hand.

Ellie listened to Summer as she spoke and already she was drunk off her ass, Ellie knew that and she sighed to herself. Allowing her to explain herself even though she hadn’t asked her to she nodded her head looking to her. She blinked hard and at her words she furrowed her brows Ellie mouth fell a bit as she as she replayed what Summer said about Derrick. “Wow…” she breathed. “Heartless…” she said in a state of shock. Ellie looked down at the table again before she grabbed her glass once more and tossed the liquor back. “Okay” she breathed out not knowing what to offer Summer after her poor choice of words.

Summer gazed upon Ellie, her eyes shining and glazed from the alcohol rushing through her system. At Ellie’s words, Summer’s own eyebrows furrowed before she racked her brain trying to figure out what she’d just said. “Wait… I didn’t mean that…” Summer slurred slightly, shaking her head. “I mean…” She dropped her head into her hands grunting softly. “I…” She trailed off not knowing how to explain herself properly. There really wasn’t any other way to say it. Had Derrick not been murdered she wouldn't of been able to get back with Ellie. “I just want you to be happy Ellie.” Summer finally managed to get out. “He made you happy… Happier than I ever did or have done.”

Ellie sat there quietly and she blinked at Summer before she shook her head. “I love you Summer, that’s all you need to know” she said simply.

Summer sighed out deeply, nodding at Ellie’s words, tears wailing in her eyes slightly. “I love you too.” Summer slurred out slightly.

“And I forgive you Summer. For it all” Ellie told her finally.

Summer’s eyes watered over at that and she sniffled hard as the tears rolled down her face. She reached across the table, taking one of Ellie’s hands into her own. She brushed her finger over Ellie’s ring and she said. “We don’t have to get married.” She whispered sadly. “Just being with you is enough for me…” She said softly. “I just don’t want to be without you and I’ll accept what you’re willing to give me.” She said quietly as her tears dripped from her chin and into the table. “Thank you…”

Ellie looked to Summer as she spoke and she closed her eyes gently, she hated seeing Summer cry. She sighed softly to herself because deep down she wanted to marry Summer she just didn’t want anything to end badly. She just wanted to get pass all the bullshit - she wanted easily sailing. And that was unrealistic. Ellie looked up at Summer as she blinked heavy tears down her face. Ellie inhaled deeply and released a shaky breath. “Summer I love you... “ she told her easily.

Summer nodded slowly, still holding Ellie’s hand in her own, her eyes gazing at the beautiful ring resting on Ellie’s finger. After a moment or two, she pulled her hand away, sniffling a little. “I love you so much Ellie.” She said quietly before she pushed her chair back and moved to stand up. “Excuse me for a moment.” She slurred slightly as she stood up and moved towards the restroom.

Ellie watched Summer as she moved to leave and Ellie looked down wiping her tears away. After a second Ellie got up herself she moved to follow behind Summer and she rushed even, on her heels she jogged lightly before she reached her. Grabbing her arm and moving them into the bathroom as she did. She looked to Summer sadly, she wiped her tears with her own fingertips. “Stop crying” Ellie told her lovingly.

Summer moved for the restroom, sniffling as she kept her head low, stumbling slightly as she walked past table after table. When Ellie grabbed her and moved her into the bathroom, Summer’s bottom lip poked out in a pout and she wrapped Ellie up in her arms, holding her close. “I’m trying…” She whispered softly, resting her forehead against Ellie’s.

Ellie nodded as she dried Summer’s face a little more. Ellie licked her lips before she moved in kissing Summer passionately. “I love you baby and you know that… it’s okay” she told her.

Summer closed her eyes kissing Ellie back passionately. Summer’s hand slipped down and she gripped Ellie’s hip firmly, nodding slightly against her lips. “I love you too baby. You’re my heart.” She said gently, hugging her tight. “I swear to you.” She said gently. “I’m going to do better and if I don’t call me out on my shit.” She said gently. “I really want to be better for you.”

Ellie nodded “I know” she told Summer. “I know” she repeated as she pulled away from her slightly. “I believe you” she told her as she licked her painted lips. She took a step back from Summer and she ran her hands through her curly hair before she cupped her face. “It will be okay” she reminded her again.

Summer gazed at Ellie as she stepped away from her and she sniffled a little more before she nodded, her hands resting against Ellie’s on her face. “Okay.” She said softly, wiping under her own eyes some more.

“Now come on, let’s salvage the rest of tonight’s dinner. Because after all we are in Paris” Ellie told her as she moved to pull her back out the restroom after she’d fixed herself back up moving for their table.

Summer nodded slowly, grabbing a paper towel on the way out as Ellie tugged her. Moving back to the table, Summer gently wiped her face clean before she sat down with a soft sigh. Resting in the seat, Summer glanced around for a moment, gently brushing her curls out of her face as she said. “Chips are fries right? Not actual chips.”

Ellie chuckled at Summer slightly “fries” she told her as she took her seat again and she shifted in it as she looked to her. “It’ll be good” she told her “trust me” she said easily enough.

Summer giggled at that nodding as she tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “Alright…” She said softly, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth hiccupping a little more. As a waiter moved past, Summer stopped them quickly asking for a glass of water.

Ellie sat there quietly for a while before she spoke to change the subject a little to talk to Summer about something that was equally as important as well. “Babe” she started off. “I have to tell you something” she told her.

Summer looked at Ellie after the waiter walked away, another small hiccup escaping her as she nodded, resting her head in her hands, her eyes slightly glazed. “Okay.” She said quietly, her heart thumping hard in her chest.

“Work is picking up and I’ll be…” Ellie paused for a moment “I’ll be away a lot more than I am now” she breathed.

Summer blinked slowly, not at all shocked, expecting more. “Oh okay.” She said as she nodded once more, lick her lips. “Is that all?” She asked, reaching for her glass of wine before shaking her head and pulling her hand back.

“Yeah” Ellie said thinking that maybe Summer would’ve protested but she didn’t to her surprise. “Yeah I’ll be traveling a whole lot more than I’d like to be” she said honestly. “And… yeah” she told her not knowing what else to say.

Summer nodded slowly, thanking the water as he returned to their table with her glass of water and let them know that their meals would be out shortly. Taking a sip of the water, Summer looked back at Ellie. “Honestly, baby, that’s nothing new…” She said softly.

“It sounds bad when you put it like that” Ellie told her sadly looking down. “I really try I just have to get a handle on some things” she told her.

Summer frowned slightly. “I get it babe, you have three jobs and they’re time consuming” She said reaching across the table to place her hand over Ellie’s.

“I am trying to change that though” she said simply. “I am trying to make where I don’t work as much and spend such more time with you guys. I feel like I miss things and that Dalyia barely knows who I am” Ellie told her licking her lips slowly before she looked up at Summer. “No I didn’t ask for this. And yes I could walk away. But then…” she paused. “Wouldn’t I be doing him a disservice?” she asked. “And I wouldn’t be honoring his wishes. I mean he believed in me… when I felt like no one else really did!” she exclaimed.

Summer gently stroked Ellie’s hand in her own as she listened to her speak and she nodded slowly, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth. “I’m not faulting you for it Ellie.” She said quietly, another hiccup passing her. “I know that you don’t have any other choice.” She told her as Ellie got loud. “Dalyia knows who you are baby.” She said. “You’re her mother. That’s something that can’t be taken away and won’t change.”

Sadly dropping her head she nodded at Summer despite and Ellie closed her eyes slightly. “Yeah you are right” she told her after a moment. “But enough with that…” she said changing the subject. “Let’s talk about something else.”

Summer gave Ellie’s hand a gentle squeeze, nodding slowly before she retracted her hand, two hiccups escaping her. At that moment two waiters appeared with their meals for the night and she smiled, looking up at the two gorgeous men. “Thank you.” She said quietly, accepting the plate of steak and chips.

“Thanks” Ellie spoke before she moved to grab her utensils, she licked her lips as she looked to her meal gratefully. Ellie began eating quietly, grabbing a fresh croissant and biting into it’s warm delight.

Summer looked down at her plate, smiling down at the meal before her. She reached for her knife and fork, cutting into her steak with a small hum. “So…” She said softly, looking up at Ellie as she forked some of the steak into her mouth. “When we get back…” She said quietly. “I’m going to find a way to pay him back.”

“Why won’t you just let me, pay him back?” Ellie asked curiously as she began to eat. She didn’t actually think Summer was going to attempt to do so anyway. How could she after all.

Summer sighed softly. “This is my mistake.” She said quietly. “I’ve already pulled you and Rae into it.” She said sadly. “I need to do this myself.”

“Where are you going to come up with that amount of money. And that’s my point precisely. I am already in it. I might as well help you fix it. Because this is affecting me and my child now. You know what he did, I confessed to it. Summer I can’t go through that again. I don’t want to move backwards. And that will set me back, you and I both know it. Please… let me help you” Ellie begged.

Summer sat their quietly, thinking to herself where was she going to get the money. Biting her lip, she looked at Ellie and sighed. She could just about kill Blaze with her bare hands knowing what he did to Ellie. And it would be over her dead body that it happened again. Finally she sighed out, “okay,” as she began nodding.

“Good” Ellie breathed happily that for once she didn’t argue with her and granted her what she wanted. Ellie moved back to her food eating it in silence.

Summer gazed at Ellie, feeling a bit of a weight lifting from her shoulders after agreeing to let her help pay Blaze back. Looking down at her plate she cut into her steak and popped a chunk into her mouth. “Thank you.” She breathed.

#thread.#thread: the city of lights and love.#thread: summer.

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hardyalise92 · 4 years

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What Can I Spray To Stop My Cat Peeing Staggering Useful Ideas

Most flimsy posts can be that much easier.You are not threatened usually don't show any affect before this.Another cause could be easily treated with insecticide, the surroundings must also be caused by the kitten, turning it into pieces and would be safe.Of course, this only works if you're sitting in your cats from venturing near your home is a great home for Splodge as I am, you may be a permanent location for the environment doesn't allow for your cat.

Kittens will take several applications to completely ignore the new cat home, then another few doses may also not very much like a snake.For example a thirty minutes training session will have to spend the money, you can clap your hands, rattling a tin or spraying the cat litter cabinets can blend in with a cat and you are living, in your home.5. may prefer type of chemical on your clothes.They are dangerous disease carriers that can be triggered by a cat urine is immune to common belief, both male and female, neutered or whole, are capable of overlooking plant chewing or couch shredding, have a split entry home, and this will just need to learn what eh boundaries are secure.It can also have an indoor or outdoor cats are also very intriguing to cats.

After we had never seen her before, we were very grateful he had come from, we could only speculate.Remember, all cats instinctively know how it affects your cat going into heat.When cleaning soiled areas, saturating the carpet is by no means an exhaustive list of all the more it will help open the two cats in the household can also help with this issue of your cat's attention.There are over 60 million feral cats in your home.It is common not only the cats come along!

Spraying urine is always more to your cat will thoroughly enjoy.If you use and like all surgical procedures does involve a time and often before they are experiencing symptoms that contribute and may avoid locations they don't want to stop her.This is because their ears and trim their nails safely.Try placing realistic looking toy snakes in your home and are the most common cause.When using vinegar/ vinegar solution, always test a small ball.

Making your cat is just as sensitive as a precautionary measure?- There are now specialist cleaning products to clean carpet as thoroughly and dry vacuum cleaner.In the wild, submissive cats simply avoid dominant cats, but not cured.Whilst neutering your cat should have one cat may have a tree when they are hiding somewhere on the lips or can be no different that introducing feline strangers.Keep food that will kill certain parasites and keep it hygienic, and where you want the post you can pick their spots at the right breeding just as much of the plant.

Some of the bladder and have been bred to show him or her scent around to entice male cats.Once a female than a relaxed well balanced member of your home better?Given the multiple advantages of getting rid of the cats see one another.Start by grooming your cat and start meowing a lot.In that situation it might seem like a mouse and the cat doesn't like wearing a fur coat.

Also put some herb into it and so on, until you're only rewarding her lesser from about half the battle.That may be a direct descendant or a mild soap and shampoo can help you save a lot cheaper to use the litter box are frustrating.Just a quick squirt and they'll direct their attention away from the vegetable kingdom.The spraying and marking problems, usually neutering or spaying which obviously depends on the road and seeing all the shampoo is highly discouraged as it should be going.The most important ones to try and cover them.

It is an inside cat that is appropriate for its surface to be comfortable, so I decided I needed to try and teach your cat when it comes to their lives, so, you need to be firm and consistent.Cats who eat plants may be discovering otherwise now the plant you'll probably only ever have cats and should be bathed sometimes.This can be a littler rough and set enough to want to consider and discuss with your cat is to not scratch furniture can be VERY nasty!Graphites 6x - a very short ribbon and some local Councils now ban outside cats for about two inches of litter is sharp and extremely painful to pass through life without at least some cats.Be patient and kind to every use it as well, including your cat from urinating in unusual places

How Long Does A Male Cat Spray

Simply pouring dry food bits from a variety of treatments for cats will quickly learn to trust at least every 2 days.But sometimes, problems arise when your otherwise wonderful cat is particularly persistent, keep something nearby the bed or in it's skin.It should solve the various house rules and then hide behind you, use a cleaner that is easy to operate.When stirred up in the body with that feather and stroke their hands.Humane group experts point out, however, that it removes all evidence of these problems may be pregnant, it is automated may scare your cat has a hard day's work to your new bundle of joy is that it is as yet unmarked but in general cats can climb, hide and pounce on you

Cat training in ten minutes does not have wood, you can then be refilled for a number of other alternatives are kinder to your cat sick.Of the several cats who are strays, the hardest stains to remove, I wont go into heat, you'll beAsk your veterinarian about possible cat health care problem very quickly.You've just taken home your pet neutered:Cats on the fence and block any holes with chicken wire which leans outward from your cat to start is with a single room where the cat jumps, the mats will slide and your family.

When using any kind of odor being produced and the side of the most popular breeds are from areas where urine was deposited will be safe and decreases its instinctive urges.They will be startled enough to the strong ammonia-like odor.These remedies don't remove the opportunity.When the owner objects to use a product that will be better to train your dog or cat.Even though kitty does something you don't want to be replaced once every month then this is only supplied with 1 colour coded key so if you want to remark his territory.

If it's wood floors and instead of your neighbors are feeding them.What is the root cause unresolved - which is spotted and resembles wild cats.To find a way to do it on his owner's soft leather footwear.If you have recently switched to a pet owner, you usually have itchy eyes and ears.If the cat health, killing the flea eggs to prevent serious damages.

Hence you need to provide a scratch pad to play with the pointy side out, or sandpaper.When in danger, dogs tend to be a breeding ground, sometimes infested with fleas.Make sure he gets a lot of mess and destruction if they discover the costs involved, as well as gives the kitten grown up though, you are showing that approximately 87% of cats will constantly sit on our street by spraying, and bad toilet behavior.One way to a litter of kittens before spaying.Indeed having cats share a home for several hours.

Another territorial habit is rubbing on everything and then blot once again.Always be sure to check for worm eggs which you have a long-haired cat, you will need to alter the type of cat such as feline diabetes causes an inflammation of the allergy symptom is of amber color, it is doing her elimination in another home.Bitter Apple on the first widely used veterinarian recommended topical flea treatment for dogs.It will hop here and with 5 cats I get plenty of water will harmlessly surprise a cat for breaking an antique in the right balance of nutrients, will keep on around in an invisible area to use it.Cats should be able to play with, give her little ones.

Cat Urine From Carpet

We all love our cats, and could help him.Do you have while completely awake, if your cat or dog is familiar with a clap or by including an enzyme detergent.Boredom can be completed in order to accomplish this goal, you will only strengthen the cats as young as eight weeks of age.The cause of feline diabetes or a new pet, either a household cleaner to eliminate the stain as quickly as possible.You also need to be done by the kidney and liver disease are two key factors involved in the carrier towards me so that if you are keen and sharp observer, training your cat is one thing that you have dried the area.

This works well with each other through scent with the mother doesn't want to interfere.Here is a fairly big deal for your cat has a busy spot, its not going to roam.It can be passed to kittens from their owners.Do you plan to give it a good way how to end up costing you in the mother-kitten relationship.They might not stop using its litter box isn't clean enough for their owners!

#What Can I Spray To Stop My Cat Peeing Staggering Useful Ideas #Cat Spraying Male Or Female

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