#the only thing i wish i could change is my chest and having periods and thats partially bc its inconvenient

[silverislander]

i have a weird relationship w the way i look bc on the one hand luckily i don't have very bad dysphoria, i don't get it abt a lot of stuff and it's not smth that's constant either i'm very lucky that way. but also. i know that w my body and my face and my voice i am never going to look a way that makes other people perceive me as what i am and that feels. really bad. but also i don't deserve to feel bad abt that bc i have features that are conventionally attractive. but also i hate them

[onlyhereforthestories]

Tell Me Some Things Last (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

Sorry I didn't get this out yesterday! Hope you enjoy 😊

Take my mind take my pain like an empty bottle takes the rain and heal

Pain. That’s all you could feel, pain. And not even physical pain, it’s the kind of pain that consumes your mind and leaves you empty. When they said break ups could literally bring you to your knees you didn’t realise how true they were. Christen had literally just torn you to pieces without much more thought than “It’s just not what I want anymore y/n.” You wished you could say you saw it coming you really did but you didn’t. Up until the words came out of her mouth you thought you were both happy.

You didn’t have anywhere to go; the weather was damp and dark, and you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You sat on a bench in a park not far from your now ex’s apartment soaking in the rain as it fell. You wanted nothing more for this pain to stop, to fade into the background so you could breathe again. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop or fade it just sat there on your chest like it never wanted to leave.

You weren’t sure how long passed but you knew it was a significantly long period of time, the night had settled in, and the clouds had grown stormier. When the crack of thunder started was when you got up to leave, you were already soaked to the bone and shaking, not that you really cared. A fleeting thought that scared you to your core, that closed off mindless feeling was something you didn’t want to fall back into.

But you were, you could feel it.

Take my past and take my sins, like an empty sail takes the wind and heal

6 months passed pretty quickly after Christen broke up with you, when you go through the days on autopilot its quite easy to get swept along without a care. You woke up, ate breakfast, had training, ate lunch, had strength sessions and then went home to have dinner and sleep before repeating it again.

Game days were the hardest for you, it was the main time you had to interact with her. Goals were celebrated and team huddles were a thing that you couldn’t avoid like at training. You were pretty stoic on the field anyway, so your current wall wasn’t too different to your game face which meant that the fans didn’t really pick up on your change in mood and behaviour. You were playing each game as a means to the end now, you had put in to be transferred as soon as the breakup had happened, and you had found out that you had gotten a few offers yesterday in a meeting with your manager.

You had yet to find out who the offers were from, but you were just happy to be getting away from the current climate you were a part of. You really wanted to leave the past where it is now, you wanted to get out of here and never look back. You hoped with everything you were that leaving here, leaving all this in the past would help you move on from her. That it would help you heal.

And tell me some things last

It was your final game, no one knew it yet, but you did. It was the first time you had felt joy going into a game and you wanted to leave the fans with something to remember you by. They were always so supportive and if it weren’t for Christen and the situation with her you wouldn’t be leaving them.

Football has been all you’ve had in the last 4 month; it has been the only constant and the fans had given you the push you needed to keep going. You knew football would always be something that lasts for you.

And tell me some things last

You won the game; you had scored a goal too just to top it off. You were doing a slow lap of the pitch interacting with as many fans as you could and signing everything possible. You had lost your top and your cleats along the way not that you cared, you wouldn’t need the jersey anyway. You didn’t want to keep it; you didn’t want to remember they end of your time at this club you just wanted to move on.

You were nearing the tunnel when a young girl called your name, she had a shirt with your name on in her hands and she was bouncing on her toes as you made eye contact with her. you headed in her direction and signed her shirt, she asked for a photo so you hooked your hands under her arms and placed her on your hip so her guardians could snap the photo. You were chatting to her about the game and where she plays when she caught you off guard, “Where are you leaving to?”

You stood shocked with the girl who could only have been 7 sitting looking at you, none of your teammates had picked up on your slight change in behaviour or your hesitation to leave the field but this little girl had. They do say kids pick up on everything. “How do you know I won’t be playing here anymore?” You gave her a little tickle to let her know she wasn’t in trouble for asking.

“You have stayed out here with us for so long, that normally only happens when someone is saying goodbye without actually saying it.” you shook your head slightly with a smile and gave the girl a squeeze.

You walked her back over to where she watched the game and handed her back, just before you gave her back you whispered in her ear. “Don’t tell anyone but you will see me in Spain next season.” You pulled back with a small wink and watched as the little girl beamed at you wishing you luck and telling you hopefully, she’ll be able to see you play again soon.

You quickly got who you found out to be her aunt’s email so you could make sure that you could make that come true for the girl.

Take my heart and take my hand like an ocean takes the dirty sands and heal

Barcelona had been good for you the moment your plane landed on the tarmac, the sun shining down on you making your body feel warm for probably the first time in 6 months. You had 2 weeks to settle in and explore the city before preseason started and you would have to get used to being a teammate again.

You spent the 2 weeks being a tourist and learning some of the language, you went to all the spots you got told were tourist traps, you tried loads of different local foods and explored the coffee shops around your apartment.

Before you knew it you were putting on your training kit and getting ready to be introduced as the latest member of the Culers. You had just done all your management stuff like contracts and photos with the president which meant you were meeting the team a little into their training session.

You walked out into the sunshine and strolled up to Jona on the side lines. He shook your hand and called all the girls in to introduce you, which you did before he could. “Hola chicas, I’m y/n and I am honoured to get to play alongside you for the next hopefully few seasons. I am sorry about my lack of Spanish I am working on it but for now bear with me.”

You looked round the group of smiling women, you recognised pretty much all of them, but you made a mental note to make sure you interact with Keira, Lucy and Frida as you knew they spoke your native language. What shocked you was your reaction to locking eyes with beautiful brown ones that held such a soft look towards you. You could feel your body tingle with something you haven’t felt in a long time and that was really scary.

Alexia stepped towards you to introduce herself properly, taking her captain duties properly as well as the fact that she felt a pull towards you. She reached out and took your hand in a soft handshake as she welcomed you to her hometown club.

Take my mind take my pain like an empty bottle takes the rain and heal

You had been playing in Barcelona for 6 months now, and you could quite honestly say it had been the best 6 months of not only your life but your career too. Everything just felt right, you were playing the best you ever had, you worked well with everyone on the team, and you weren’t missing your old life.

What was holding you back was your past, more specifically the pain you still felt lingering in your heart when you saw Christen and Tobin’s relationship plastered over the internet. You weren’t jealous, you really weren’t, you had not loved Christen for a long while now. The pain was caused by the fact that you never let yourself talk about what happened, never found out what you did to make Christen not love you anymore.

You had been pretty good at keeping your mind off of it when you were with the team until today. You found yourself alone in the changing rooms after a pretty long training day or so you thought, you heard muffled voices coming from the toilets and picked up on Frida’s voice. You had no idea who she was talking too, and you were going to pick up your stuff and leave unit you heard the name you had been avoiding.

“Have you seen Christen and Tobin’s post. I really admire them for the way they have slowly introduced their relationship to the world without actually announcing it. it makes you wonder how long they have been together doesn’t it…” You stopped listening after that, the sentence piercing your heart. You grabbed your stuff and bolted to the door; you could feel the tears starting to fall before you could even get out of the changing rooms. As you pushed at the door it was pulled from the other side and you almost ran into Alexia. She managed to catch your shoulders with her hands before you could topple the both of you over, she went to speak but stopped as soon as you looked up at her.

The sight broke her heart, you looked so broken. Without saying anything she whipped the tears from your face and reached for your hand, which you let her do and followed behind her as she dragged you out of the facility and into her car.

You stared out the window as she drove, you weren’t sure where you were going but at this moment you didn’t care. You just wanted to get away from any talk of your ex and her perfect relationship.

When Alexia pulled the car up and got out you were slightly confused, you could see the beach from the car window, and you felt the weight on your chest already starting to lift. You were so caught up in your thoughts that Alexia got to your car door before you could even think about opening it.

“Come on let go walk.” She holds out her hand in front of you and you didn’t hesitate to take it. She pulled you out of the car and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go and walking towards the crashing waves.

The two of you walked side by side for about 20 minutes before you spoke up. “Christen is my ex, she wasn’t with Tobin a year ago she was with me, or so I think. She broke up with me because she just didn’t feel anything for me anymore, like you can just suddenly not love someone. I haven’t spoken about this with anyone because we never told anyone outside her family, she didn’t want to. Maybe that should have been my first warning sign. Looking back on it now, I know it wasn’t a relationship that was going to last, but I still gave her my all and I have no idea what I did wrong. What I did for her to not love me, for it not to last.”

Alexia let you speak; she waited as you paused to think about the next thing you wanted to say and then continued to listen when you carried on speaking. She sat down next to you when you took a seat after you’d said all you needed to say, and she just sat there while you processed it all. After about 10 minutes of silently listening to the waves you turned to the slightly older woman, “Thank you.”

“You have nothing to thank me for.” The reply made your lips quirk up, of course she plays down her importance in this current moment.

“I have everything to thank you for. You have listened to me spill my shit, you have taken time out of your day to take me away from the situation earlier without a thought or knowing why I wasn’t okay. And you haven’t left, you’ve stayed.” You reached out and grabbed her hand hoping to get her to really listen to how thankful you are for her right now.

She moved her hand around a littler to interlace your fingers. “I would do a lot for you and that is all I’m going to say for now. But just know that there is more to that statement and that when you are ready, I will tell you.” You could feel your cheeks heating up. You knew your attraction to the Spanish superstar was there but having that conversation right after crying over an ex probably wasn’t the best idea. No matter how over that woman you were.

You sat on the beach with the woman you were sure would be a major part of your future for a little while longer, soaking in the setting sun hand in hand until the time came for her to take you home.

And tell me some things last

The Champions League quarter final second leg was fast approaching, and you were nervous. You had played at the Camp Nou stadium a few times now but this game you felt those added nervous of such a big crowd. The first leg hadn’t quite gone as you had all hoped and that meant that there was a less confident energy going into this one.

You were also nervous because your special guests were coming today, you had managed to arrange for Lyla the little girl from your final game at your previous club to be here today. You had even managed to get her to be a mascot too which you had to thank Alexia for, she was the main one to ask the organisers. You had been in contact with her aunt all day and so you knew that she was here and ready to go being as the game was due to start any moment and you needed to walk out.

You walked out of the changing room last like always, head down and mind focused until you heard the excited squeal of your name, “Y/n, Y/n I missed you.” Before you could even think the slightly taller than the last time you saw her girl was throwing herself at you. You managed to catch her under the arms and swing her up onto your hip as you returned the sentiment.

You spoke to her for a small second whilst the rest of the team got ready and waited for the ref’s signal to walk onto the pitch. What you didn’t see was the way Alexia was looking back at you and your interaction with the girl you had flown half a world to see you.

The game had gone pretty much perfectly this time, the only annoyance being that you couldn’t keep a clean sheet. You were walking along clapping the fans with Lucy and Keira when you saw Lyla jumping and waving your way from her place with her aunt, you were quick to excuse yourself and head over.

“Hola chica.” You sent her a little wink at your use of your currents homes language which had the girl giggling “how did you enjoy the game? Pretty cool stadium, right?”

The girls toothy grin and vigorous head nod started her positive answer. “Si.” You cut her off a little with a laugh of your own at that answer. “It was so good; I have never been to a place this big! And you play amazing. You really like it here, don’t you?”

Instead of talking up to her over the barrier you signalled to her aunt to make sure it was okay to get her down on the pitch with you. When you got permission, her aunt helped you get her down and said to go have fun, you told her you’d bring her back in a little while. Grabbing her hand, you dragged her along with you as you listened to all she wanted to say about the game. “… Watching Alexia in person was super cool too. She is soooooo good.” You couldn’t help but agree with the girl, she was something else on the pitch.

“Would you like to come meet some of the girls?” The nod you got in return was again vigorous and so you tugged her in the direction of where you had left Lucy and Keira not even 5 minutes ago.

After introducing Lyla to most of the team there was one final person left. Alexia had been on media duty so you could only hope she would be done and in the changing room for you to introduce Lyla to. You quickly ran over to her aunt to make sure she knew where you were going before leading the small girl through the tunnel.

You poked your head into the training room to find the woman you were looking for in a state of dress that had your heartbeat spiking. Swallowing quickly and blinking a few times to make sure you weren’t dreaming, you averted your eyes slightly and spoke, “Hey Ale I have someone that wants to meet you is that okay?” Alexia’s head whipped round at your voice, and you saw the blush rise up her cheeks as she realised you were seeing her in her sports bra. Not that this was the first time, but it was on your (well pretty much) own and after the beach.

You stepped back into the hall when she told you she would love to, but she just needed a second and waited for her to be ready. Before you could even start a conversation with Lyla the door was swinging back open, and Alexia was dressed in her tracksuit. You were a little shocked when Lyla started hiding behind you a little bit as this was the person she was most excited to meet.

“Ale this is Lyla, she my favourite fan from back in the States. Lyla this is Alexia the best midfielder in the world.” Alexia bent down to Lyla’s height and kept a little space between them before she spoke to her. You spent a good 10 minutes listening to the two girls speak before the rest of the team filtered into the changing room cutting your time short. Lyla said goodbye to the team and you along with Alexia walked her back out into the rapidly emptying crowd, those that were left cheered your names as you entered.

You slowed your pace as you got closer to letting Lyla go, you really did hate goodbyes. Alexia could see your hesitance; she couldn’t tell why you were so reluctant to let the little one go but she could tell it was really playing on you. She reached behind you and rested her hand on the middle of your back, rubbing small slow circles there as you lifted Lyla over the barrier.

After saying goodbye and getting changed you grabbed Alexia’s hand and pulled her along behind you and out to her car. Without questioning it Alexia opened it and let you settle yourself into her passenger seat while she put the bags in the back and got behind the wheel. Deciding that taking you home right now wasn’t what you needed or what she wanted she made the decision to take you back to your spot.

You were not paying attention to where the woman you cared very much about was taking you, you were just lost in your current thoughts and feelings about saying goodbye. It was only when the vehicle stopped that you realised just what the Spanish superstar had done, you were back at the beach by your spot. She didn’t wait for you to say anything just got out and came round to open your door.

You didn’t hesitate to take the hand she offered you when the door was wide open, and you slightly shocked the woman when you held on tighter when you were stood up straight. You gave her hand a squeeze and sent her a small smile that had her grinning and tugging you from your linked hands towards the shore.

You sat yourself against a rock by the shoreline and patted the open space between your legs which Alexia happily sat in, she was a little more hesitant to lean back but didn’t resist you when you lightly tugged her shoulders. The two of you sat there for a little while before you found yourself speaking.

“Thank you for earlier, I really needed the comfort of your presence there to say goodbye.” When Alexia turned her head to you with a questioning look you knew it was a subtle way to ask but also let you know you didn’t have to explain but you wanted to. “She was the last link I had to my first home; she was the final goodbye. That place was where I had my first love, where I got my career started and where all the pain came from. Pain that I think I’m finally over and healing from. Pain that I won’t now let stop me from saying I’m ready if you still are.”

You felt Alexia relax even more into you and you were incredibly happy to feel her hands snake into yours. Neither of you needed to say anything more about it right now, this moment was for basking in the possibilities and future you were about to start.

And tell me some things last

It had been about 2 weeks since you had told Alexia that you were ready to see what could happen between the two of you. Not a lot had really gone on other than an increase in the time you spent together as well as the thoughts you were having. Whenever you were with the Spanish woman you couldn’t help where your mind ran to, the kisses you imagined and the future you could really start to see coming.

So when Alexia asked you to pick her up for training on morning you were secretly hoping that meant some more time together. You pulled up outside her flat with about 20 minutes to spare so decided to go up with the coffees you had got for her. Knocking on her door you patiently waited for the woman inside to answer and when she did you were in a state of shock and awe. Alexia was stood in her sports bra and training joggers, hair tied back and signature Nike band pulling her baby hairs back and out of her face. It took you a moment to compose yourself and drag your eyes away from her exposed torso something she could not help but notice and tease you about. “Like something you see love?”

You exaggerated the wink you sent her way which had the woman full on belly laughing as she let you in and followed behind you as you made it into the kitchen. You set both cups down onto the side and spun to face the still semi dressed beauty, you mind was going a mile a minute over the sight and all you wanted to do was wrap your arms around her waist and kiss her.

Alexia could see your mind working, she could see your thoughts spinning round your head and she was so ready to hear what they were. Deciding you both had been dancing around this for long enough she took a small step towards you and asked the question she wanted the answer too. “What’s going on in that mind of yours?”

You snapped your eyes to lock with her gaze, a gaze that was soft and reassuring and all you needed to take that leap. “You and how much I want to kiss you right now but I don’t want to push if you aren’t ready yet I know…” you were cut off by the lips you have been dreaming about.

You wrapped your arms around the slightly older woman’s waist and pulled her closer to you, you brushed your hands up and down her sides as you deepened the kiss something that sent a shiver down Alexia’s spine and a sigh to leave her lips as you both briefly pulled back for air. You weren’t ready for this moment to be over and you wanted to commit more to memory so you lent back in and connected your lips with hers again for a slow kiss.

Alexia pulled back once air was once again needed but she didn’t go far, she rested her forehead against yours and rubbed her thumb over the base of your neck where she had her hands rested. You both just stood there in her kitchen soaking up the moment, committing it to memory and dreaming about what else was to come.

You broke the quiet moment by pressing a small peck to her lips and asking the question you have been wanting to ask for the last couple weeks. “Will you go on a proper date with me? I would like to take you out before I ask the next question I really want to ask you.” Alexia quirked her eyebrow at the cryptic nature of your question but decided to just answer the one she could and wanted to.

“Of course I will go out with you properly. There is nothing I want more.” She went to press a kiss to your lips or so you thought. You closed your eyes as she got close only to feel her press against you for a second before all the warmth of her was gone causing your eyes to spring open. She had grabbed her coffee and was walking towards her bedroom with an extra swing to her hips.

She was going to be the death of you and you both knew it.

And tell me some things last

The last few months had been amazing for you and your newfound love. Alexia had treated you to a fair few date nights and you had managed to get the woman to come over for some homecooked meals. It had been the perfect start to what you hoped would be your forever.

Alexia had excused herself from you now normal Thursday evening plans of dinner and a movie to spend some much-needed time with Mapi which you were more than okay with. It gave you the chance to spend some time with Lucy and Keira ahead of your birthday.

Your English teammates took you out to a fancy meal and drinks in one of your favourite spots in Barca. As the night drew on and the drinks flowed you felt yourself get lighter and lighter. You got to the point that you were so carefree you didn’t care who you were dancing with, nor did Lucy who was your main dance partner anyway.

At this point Keira decided it was probably best to call it a night and phoned your now girlfriend. Alexia was waiting for this phone call really; you had mentioned you were going out with the English pair and that never normally ended with anything less than you and Lucy drunk as and Keira and Alexia dealing with you both.

Alexia had just dropped the English duo to their place and was now sat with a very inebriated you at a red light. She turned to look at you as you dozed off in the passenger seat of her car. The streetlights bounced off your features in a way they had Alexia frozen, she knew that she was falling incredibly fast for you, but she didn’t realise quite how fast until that moment.

She picked up her phone quick and snapped a couple of pics of you before the light turned green and she got you home safe.

A few days later you would see that photo for the first time, and not directly from the woman herself. You woke up to breakfast in bed and sweet kisses for your birthday, you had been so distracted with the people in your life wishing you happy birthday that it took until the evening when you were getting ready for the dinner out with some teammates that Alexia had planned, that you would see the picture along with 3 others.

It was Alexia’s post, it started with a photo of you both in your Barca gear before a game, then it was of you and Nala out on a walk, then it was of you cooking some dinner in Alexia’s kitchen and the final one was the car photo. The caption was simple, Here’s to the first of many birthday celebrations.

And tell me some things last

Alexia was freaking out and you could tell she was. You had yet to speak to her about your upcoming contract issues with Barca. Which had become a more pressing issue with your initial 3 years rapidly coming to an end. She knew that talks had been happening as she is your girlfriend and the captain of the team but what she didn’t know was that you had been offered and accepted a new 5-year deal.  

You had managed to get the club to not tell her before you did so that you could surprise her. Your apartment lease was up, and you hadn’t renewed, the reason for this was you were hoping to be able to move in with your now 2-year long girlfriend, not that she knew that plan just yet. You were nervous to ask such a question, but you were sure she was who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with if she would have you.

What you didn’t plan for was Alexia finding out about you not renewing your lease. You had promised Ingrid you would meet for coffee after the mornings training and Alexia had promised to meet you at yours as you would be cooking for tonight’s Thursday date night. Unfortunately, you were not aware that your landlord was due round to speak about the changing of keys when you moved out. A conversation that Alexia had now had with said person and not you.

Mapi had picked you and Ingrid up from your little outing so you had asked the pair to come up for a drink, thinking that Alexia would be happy to have some time with her best friend. However, as soon as you walked in and made eye contact with your lover you knew the invite up was the wrong thing to do.

It wasn’t just you that noticed, Ingrid saw it too. She was quick to grab Mapi and make up a hurried excuse that had the blonde defender opening and closing her mouth like a fish as she was dragged out of the apartment.

You waited to hear the click of the door shutting before you started to speak. “What’s wrong babe?” You tried to keep the nerves out of your voice, opting to move a bit closer to the older woman as you spoke too.

In the time it took for you to sit down on the sofa, the woman was up on her feet. “What do you mean what’s wrong. You know exactly what is wrong, you are leaving. You are leaving and you haven’t bothered to ask me what that does to me, to us. I didn’t even get to know let alone get to ask you to stay.” You were frozen in place, what was she talking about leaving. You weren’t leaving why would she think that, had you waited too long to tell her about the contract extension? You felt like an idiot for causing her to be this upset.

“Lo siento babe. I am not leaving. Let’s get that sorted first. I could never leave you.” You took a moment to wait for your words to register in the distressed woman’s mind. When they did, she looked at you, and the look she had in her eyes almost broke you. It was like she was pleading with her eyes for you to be telling the truth. “Come here, Lo siento mucho. I didn’t mean to cause you this much stress. I was just trying to surprise you. I should have done better here.”

Alexia did as you asked and came and sat next to you. She didn’t make any physical contact with you like she normally would, but you understood. You took that she was at least next to you and not out the door and a positive sign that this wasn’t a major fuck up. You gave her a few moments to process her thoughts as you did and waited for her to speak.

“You really aren’t leaving me?” That broke you a little bit, you shifted a little closer to the woman and gently took her hand, when she didn’t pull back you squeezed it in yours to try offer some comfort before your words could do the rest.

“No Ale I’m not. I’m staying right here with you for as long as you’ll have me.” You would happily commit the rest of your life to this woman and everyone around you knew it. You obviously hadn’t spent enough time making sure she knew it though and you made that silent vow in your head to rectify that.

“Forever por favor.” You couldn’t help but smile at her words. “But your contract with Barca, it’s almost up.” You let go of her hand to turn your whole body to face her, legs crossed on the sofa. You retook her hand and tugged a little to try and get her to look at you as you spoke.

When you finally got her to make eye contact with you, you told her your secret, “I renewed about 3 days ago, 5 years babe.” The way your favourite eyes lit up in front of you in that moment would be forever imprinted on your brain. There was just joy in them as you said this, and you couldn’t stop the feeling it brought up inside of you. You were about to continue speaking when her facial expression changed again, not to as sad as it was but to one of more confusion.

“But your landlord said you were giving the keys back at the end of the month.” You couldn’t help but smile at that, of course Alexia wasn’t quite following where your brain was hoping.

“I am yes. There is only one place I want to live.” The puzzled look stayed on the Spanish beauties face. A fact that had you full on laughing out loud at the cluelessness of your girlfriend. Deciding that you would put her out of her misery you told her what you hoped could happen. “How would you like to live together mi amor?”

Alexia didn’t answer verbally, no she answered with every other option but that. She pretty much tackled you to the sofa, your back hit the cushions before you could even process what was happening. You couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of your mouth as the woman stared peppering your face with kisses.

The joyous moment turned tender quickly after that. Alexia had one arm on the cushions next to your head to prop herself up and the other reached down to cup your cheek. “I want nothing more than you being the first thing I see in the morning and the last I see before I fall asleep.” You could feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks, it wasn’t often you got romantic Ale but when you did it never failed to turn you to mush.

Words would fail you in this moment and you knew it, so you did the next best thing. You reached up and tangled your fingers in the brunettes’ locks of your very soon-to-be house partner, pulling her down so that you could press your lips eagerly to hers in a kiss that could only be described as coming home.

[readsaboutreid]

Periods Suck | S.R.

this is inspired by lenaleechi on instagram's comic about hating periods as well as the gif above because it gives me mad baby fever so i guess this is season 4 softdom!spencer x gn!afab!bau!reader plus a blink and you'll miss it buffy the vampire slayer reference

content warning: breeding kink and period sex [i'm too stoned to think of any others but if you think of them please add them (kindly) in the replies and i'll add them in later :)]

this is smut, minors dni pls and thank you

"...fuck this, fuck everything and everyone, I am done, I quit," I ramble as I open the door to my apartment and kick off my dress shoes that were painfully squeezing my toes, just adding to my frustration. This case had been particularly mild compared to others but I couldn't help but be in a mood due to the littlest things done by the (admittedly innocent) local police officers. I was so relieved to finally go home and get to sleep in my own bed and curl up with a heating pad and my boyfriend with a Doctor Who marathon.

"Deep breaths, (y/n)," I hear from behind me in a soft, soothing tone as gentle hands come down to rub my shoulders from behind. I know he’s well aware what’s causing me to be in such a shitty mood. His pattern recognition skills are off the chart and while he never outright said anything to me about it he'd always be prepared with hot water bottles and chocolate when this time of the month rolled around. I turn around and bury my face into his chest with a sigh.

"I hate periods, Spencer. They suck," I whine with a sigh, my voice muffled by the knit fabric of his cardigan.

"I know, love," he sighs above me, resting his cheek on my forehead and wrapping his arms around me, "I'm sorry there's not more I could do to help."

"You're helping already," I sigh again, but this time out of contentment as we sway side to side in the entry way. "I wish there was a way I could just, like, stop having them," I mutter, my face returning to the soft fibers that I had come to find so comforting over the years.

Spencer's voice is muffled against my hair as he mutters, "That may be something I can assist you with." I don't even need to see his face to imagine the grin spread across it. Lately, he had been subtly expressing his desire for children, but after JJ gave birth to Henry, his hints have become more pressing. And technically, it was all because of me.

The night was a blur of celebration and drinks, as Emily and Garcia joined me in raising our glasses to toast the occasion. But as we were caught up in the joy of the moment, I couldn't help but let slip that after seeing the pure happiness on Spencer's face at the sight of his godchild a spark ignited within me, igniting a fierce case of baby fever that threatened to consume me entirely. Garcia, the horrible traitor that she is, had messaged a video of my confession to Spencer before I had even finished talking and before I knew it, my phone was buzzing with pictures from Spencer himself - tiny onesies and miniature sneakers - accompanied by words like, ‘just imagine a little genius of our own running around our home in this.’

Without changing his stance, he starts off on one of his typical Spencer Reid rants. "Did you know that scientific research has indicated that orgasms can alleviate menstrual cramps? It's due to the release of endorphins and muscular contractions which help relax the uterine lining," he explains with a slight hint of arousal in his tone, "not only does it address your discomfort, but it also takes care of your other request at the same time."

"We could start trying now, if you want," he suggests with a playful tone, though the subtle hint of desire in his voice sends a jolt of anticipation down my spine and settles between my thighs, igniting a fervent ache. Oh. Oh.

I finally turn my head to meet his gaze, and I am met with intense desire radiating from his eyes. His pupils are dilated, and he licks his lips before gently tracing a finger along my cheek and following up with a soft, "what do you think?"

I interrupt him by pulling his face towards mine, and our lips meet in a soft kiss. Suddenly, I'm pushed against the wall with the command to "jump," and my legs automatically wrap around Spencer as he lifts me up by my ass. Our lips met in a hungry yet tender kiss.

Our breaths come in ragged gasps as he pulls away to meet my gaze, his eyes searching mine for confirmation. I eagerly nod, my heart racing and anticipation building. Our lips collide once more, the heat between us intensifying as we lose ourselves in each other's embrace. The world fades into the background as our bodies meld together, consumed by desire. He sets me down and guides me to our bedroom by the hand, giggling slightly with excitement. I know he wants kids and we have discussed having them together in the future but the giddiness of the grown ass man in front of me ends up drawing a giggle from my own throat as well.

As we enter the bedroom, he stoops down to give me a quick kiss before heading to the bathroom. He grabs an old black towel I use for dyeing my hair and returns, laying it down on the bed and patting it lightly. He sends me sweet smile full of adoration as he whispers, "after you, my love."

I stumble towards the light switch and turn it off before making my way over to the bed. I take off my top and lay down, the darkness giving me a sense of privacy. Suddenly, I hear a soft sound from Spencer as he walks away. The lights flick back on, and he quickly closes the distance between us with just two steps. Before I can even cover myself up in the glare of the harsh light, he's already crawling on top of me.

"You're so gorgeous," he beams at me again before leaning in to kiss me gently, lowering his hips to rest between my legs as they wrap back around his hips instinctively as he begin peppering kisses all over my face and drawing endless laughs from my mouth, "I'm," kiss, "so," kiss, "lucky," kiss, "to," kiss, "have," kiss, "you."

He moves back, his lips leaving a trail of fire as they kiss and caress my skin. My jaw trembles under the soft brush of his lips, before he slowly trails kisses down to my throat. I can't help but let out a moan as his lips touch the sensitive skin there. His body presses against mine, the unmistakable hardness of his arousal pressing against my hypersensitive center. Every move, every touch, sends electric shivers through my body, igniting a primal desire within me.

My body aches with desire as I struggle to catch my breath. "Please remove your clothing now," I manage to say between deep, passionate kisses. Spencer eagerly strips down and helps me out of my own clothes before settling back between my legs. His arousal presses against the wetness between my thighs, adding to the intense heat building inside me.

"I've been craving this all week, sweetness," he mutters against my neck as he sucks feverishly at the skin, leaving love bites in his wake. "Craving you and your beautiful body." I have no idea how he managed to get me from wildly upset to wildly horny in such a short time, but instead of questioning it, I just let out a moan as I grind my hips against him, begging for his cock to enter me. He continues to tease me by rubbing the tip against my wet slit.

“P-please, Spence,” I whimper, unable to form a coherent sentence through the haze of lust I had become quickly lost within.

Spencer's eyes flicker with desire as he holds himself over me, his hands fisting the sheets on either side of my head. "Say it again," he growls, rubbing his erection against my aching center.

"P-please," I beg, my voice shaking with need.

He chuckles darkly, the sound sending shivers down my spine.

"As you wish," he murmurs before slowly sliding inside me. I gasp at the intense pleasure that washes over me, causing my body to arch off the bed and my nails to dig into his back. He begins to move in slow, deep thrusts, filling me completely and igniting a fire within me that threatens to consume every inch of my being.

As our bodies meld together in a blazing inferno, time itself seems to cease to exist. Every touch of Spencer's fingers sends shivers of ecstasy coursing through me, while each caress of his lips against mine ignites a fire within. Our movements are fluid and perfect, each one bringing us closer to the pinnacle of pleasure. I am consumed by an overwhelming sensation, my senses heightened to their limits as our passion reaches an almost unbearable intensity. It feels as though this moment could stretch on for eternity, and I never want it to end. In this single moment, there is nothing else but the all-consuming desire between us, and I give myself completely to it.

My heart pounds against my ribs as Spencer's gaze locks onto mine, his eyes filled with the same ferocity and desire that burns within me. He gives me a wicked grin, and I can feel my resolve crumble as the insatiable hunger consumes me. "You want to have my baby?" he gasps, and all I can respond with is a loud, whorish moan, entirely unable to form any words as his hips start to move ever so slightly faster.

He surges forward, his body fusing with mine in a wild, primal dance. Our movements become more frenzied, our bodies slamming together with the force of a thousand thunderstorms. My breath comes in short gasps as Spencer's relentless thrusts coax an orgasm out of me. My muscles tense, my hips bucking against him, seeking the sweet release from the intense pleasure building up inside of me.

Every thrust, every touch, every whispered word sends me higher and higher, my body arching and bucking beneath him in a frenzy of ecstasy.

Spencer's eyes are locked onto mine as he continues to drive into me, his gaze burning with an intensity that matches the fire inside us both. His hands grip my hips tightly, never losing rhythm as he thrusts into me and coaxes that sweet release from me. My body trembles and shakes with each surge, and I can feel the orgasm building, growing stronger and more intense with each passing second.

A low, guttural moan escapes from Spencer's lips as he picks up the pace, his movements becoming harder and faster. I can feel him growing more desperate, and I know that he's close to his own release.

The pleasurable ache between my legs intensifies, and I know that I'm about to reach that peak. I let out a helpless whimper as the pleasure was threatening to overtake me, and I feel as though I'm being pulled into a vortex of ecstasy. Time seems to stand still, and I'm lost in the moment, our bodies moving together in perfect harmony.

The bed creaks and groans with our passionate lovemaking, the sound echoing in my ears as I reach for the pinnacle of pleasure. Spencer's eyes are locked onto mine, and I see the same intensity in them that I feel in my own being. We're one, united in our desire for each other, and nothing else matters in this world.

His thrusts become harder and faster, the tip of his erection brushing against the most sensitive part of me with every stroke. The pleasure is overwhelming, and I can feel the orgasm building within me, growing stronger with each passing second. I cling to Spencer, my nails digging into his back as I beg him to take me over the edge.

“Gonna fill you up,(Y/N),” Spencer moans, “everyone will know who you belong to once you’re — oh fuck — carrying my fucking baby inside you.” His words send me falling over the edge and I can feel myself slipping away, my mind consumed by the intense pleasure reaching it's peak as my hips buck wildly.

Time seems to stand still as we reach the pinnacle of pleasure together. Our bodies move in perfect sync, every thrust, every caress, every whispered word fueling the fire that burns within us. The pleasure is all-consuming, coursing through my veins and reaching every cell in my body. I let out a series of orgasmic moans bordering on screams and Spencer smiles down at me wickedly, his eyes never leaving mine as his thrusts become harder and more disjointed as his own orgasm looms on the horizon. His moans grow louder and louder as the feeling of slight overstimulation makes me clench even tighter around his throbbing cock as he reaches his breaking point.

"Please, Spencer," I whisper, "make me yours, sir. P-please, please put a baby in me!"

Finally, with one last deep thrust, Spencer moans loudly and shudders above me, his body rigid as he loses himself in the pleasure of a release he had been building up to for what felt like an eternity. As Spencer's body shudders above mine, I can feel the warmth of his release filling me up, an earth-shattering feeling that takes my breath away. We lay there for a moment, our bodies still joined together, basking in the afterglow of our passion. Finally, with a contented sigh, Spencer pulls out of me and collapses onto the bed beside me.

I snap back to reality, my mind reeling from the intensity of our lovemaking. I can feel the stickiness between my legs, a reminder of the incredible moment we just shared. The room is still, the only sounds being our heavy breathing and the rhythmic beating of our hearts. I reach over to grab the bedside table, searching for a tissue to clean myself up.

"Spencer?" I say softly, my voice barely a whisper.

"Yeah, sweetheart?" he replies, still out of breath.

I flash him a saucy grin, "I think we'll have to make sure we keep trying this before my next period so I won't have to suffer through another one, for a while." I joked, while playfully poking his chest.

He chuckled softly, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear, "I think that's a great idea, my love." I couldn't help but giggle at his response, feeling a burst of warmth spread through my body.

[etherealyoungk]

comfort and love - hoshi

pairing: hoshi x fem!reader

warnings: reader has their period, fluff

word count: 1.1k

when you wake up feeling icky and your stomach lightly paining, you internally groan because you know your period started. you change and go back to sleep, only to wake up a few hours later to your doorbell ringing and you wake up sleepy and dazed. when you open the door to a smiling hoshi. your heart sinks because you forget to tell him you couldn't make it to the date he had planned. and here he was at your doorstep.

"shit, hoshi im sorry", you mumble out as you make way for him to enter. he looks at you confused. "why are you saying sorry baby", he asks and then he realizes you're still in your pyjamas and you look tired. "i got my period so i don't think out date can still happen", you tell softly. his gaze softens with understanding. "that's okay. i can still be here and spend time with you. i'll take care of you", he says with a newfound passion and before you know it, he's guiding you back to the bedroom and making you lie down.

periods are a little bit of uncharted territory for hoshi, but it's nothing a little research can't fix. so after quickly searching for what to do when someone is on their period he's coming to your room but you're curled up in a ball and he's running to your side.

"baby? are you okay?", he asks worried. "i'll make you a hot water bottle wait", he says and he rushes off to the kitchen. a few minutes later he's bringing you the hot water bottle and gently placing it on your stomach. you gladly take it and mumble out a small thank you to hoshi who's sitting on the edge of the bed. "have you eaten?', he says, looking at the time. you shake your head weakly. "not hungry", you tell and he's now even more worried. should he get you some chocolate? icecream? some snacks?. he decides to at least bring you a glass of water for you to sip on.

"you don't have to stay, i can manage", you tell him but he denies, telling you he's gonna take care of you. you try to lie down and rest, but the cramps only get worse. you open your eyes and don't see hoshi in the room. you weakly call out for him and he comes running, skidding across the floor in the process. "what's wrong?", he asks, concern flashing across his face but the tears brimming in your eyes are all the answers he needs. he wastes no time in coming by your side and gently engulfing you in his arms. you lean into his warmth and snuggle into his arms as you rest your head on his chest. he lightly rubs your back in hopes it will somewhat help ease the pain. but the way you were occasionally gripping his shirt told him you were still in pain and he hated in so much. he wished he could take your pain instead.

when you finally fall asleep, he gently tucks you in bed and decides to make a quick run to the convenience store to get you some snacks. you stir awake from your sleep and realize hoshi isn't next to you. you hear noises coming from outside and the smell of something in sweet in the air. you get up and waddle out of the room to the kitchen to find hoshi in front of the stove. "babe?", you call out and he turns around, smiling when he sees you. "you're awake?", he asks and he removes something from the pan and puts it on a plate.

"i made you some french toast, i know you like it so i tried following a recipe", he says in one breath, grinning as he presents the plate to you, guiding you to sit down and take a seat at the dining table. the other half of the table is covered in snacks of all kinds. you look at hoshi. "i thought you might want to snack or eat something sweet? i read up about period cravings but i didn't know what you'd like so i got some of your favorite stuff and things i thought you might like", he explains. you look at him and pout. you could cry right now. '"hoshi", you tell and he thinks maybe he's done something wrong. "what's wrong? did i not bring the right snack? did i forget something?", he asks, a lopsided pout forming on his face. you shake your head.

"you're so sweet, this is all so sweet", you finally tell and the tension disappears from his shoulders. he watches as you eat the french toast he made, happy.

if you told him you were feeling cold, he's drowning you in blankets. hungry? ready to order food or make you something again. thirsty? aksing you if you wanted water or an other drink, the phone in his hand ready to order whatever you wanted. want ice cream? he's ready to buy all the flavors.

but then later when it's afternoon he can tell your mood is a bit off and he's confused. (he's a little clueless about how the mood swings work sjjgg) so when he comes over to cuddle you when you are watching something you move away telling him you don't want to cuddle right now. he's shocked. how could you not want his cuddles? poor boy will be next to you and just be all pouty and glance over at you.

after a while, you feel find yourself scooting closer to hoshi and linking your arm around his as you lean your head on his arm. he's over the moon from this small action and pecks the top of your head, happy.

he'd sit on the counter as you watched him make ramen for you for dinner, even though you said you were feeling a little better now and could do it yourself. he'll order ice cream and watch as you eat, happy to indulge you in whatever you want.

he'll stay over that night, mostly he didn't want to leave you in pain and because you asked him to stay. if the cramps bothered you in the middle of the night, and you woke up in pain, he'd take care of you and do his best to help alleviate the pain. you're grateful he stayed as you slowly fall back asleep in his arms, his presence comforting and warm.

taglist: @idubiluv @icyminghao @kyeomyun @joshuaahong @daisycheols @fallingforshua29

[venerawrites]

Helloo! could I humbly request relationship headcanons for Sasuke before and after the war? as in the difference between him then and after? I always thought he'd be a lot more mature and his views on things might change? especially since before he never would've had the time to actually consider things like romantic relationships and such to a deep extent? I'd love to hear your thoughts! I wish you a good day/night!

(fem reader or gn!neutral is up to you! I'm okay with either!)

author's note: hi, lovely! I am so glad to get a request for Sasuke, as he is one of my favourite boys, but I don't really get the chance to write a lot for him. I guess the "after the war" Sasuke can be a bit OOC if you follow Boruto, but as I haven't watched it and I don't really agree with how most of the characters developed... I just kind of wrote the way I envision it. I hope you enjoy! <3

BEFORE the war

It is very hard to imagine Sasuke having a relationship with someone during the time when the only thing that plagued his mind was the idea of revenge.

If he was to get interested in someone, I would imagine it would be a civilian/retired ninja during his travels with Team Taka. (I don't really imagine him falling for a ninja tbh)

I think even here, we have to separate before and after Itachi's death...

Let's roll with the idea that he meets his s/o before killing his brother. During this time he won't be really interested in forming a relationship - for a really long time he won't even understand what is that funny thing inside his chest and why he feel the need to visit his s/o's house every few months.

Sasuke has the tendency to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, so I imagine that this is how he will behave with his s/o the same way - he will visit his their house at random times, always staying for different periods of time; demand that they heal him (if his s/o is a healer or had any basic medical knowledge); he would buy stuff for the house from the local market or leave some of his own (such as some of his clothes), almost as a way to establish a claim over them/their property.

He would never put a label on the type of "situationship" him and his s/o share, but it is clear to both that whatever is going on is deeper than a friendship.

Still very cold and reserved - would share very minimal information about his past or his goals, preferring to either sit in silence or ask his s/o questions.

Kind of grumpy and rude ALL THE DAMN TIME.

He didn't want to entertain the idea of having feelings for someone, yet he couldn't stay away. The intentions of his visits were always masked with some type of "excuse" - he was in "hiding"; he needed somewhere to "heal"; he wanted a "break" from his team etc. Yet he couldn't help but feel annoyed he was getting distracted from his main goal and he was taking it on his s/o in the form of snappy comments, rolling eyes, constant huffing and just in general bad attitude.

A silent protector - he would check on his s/o quite often, sometimes not even visiting their house, just watching from a distance to make sure they are okay. I imagine during this time he would be highly alert and worried Itachi may try to target his s/o, so he may even act a bit controlling by banning them from leaving their house after dark or letting any strangers inside.

Now Sasuke after killing Itachi and learning the truth about his clan... is a COMPLETELY different story.

We all know his mental health completely collapsed during this time and his mind spiraled downward. This would affect not only his actions, but also his relationship.

For starters, he would clearly establish that he consider them as "his" (if it was not clear before, it is now). His paranoia that everyone is after him, fueled with the fact that he not only wanted a revenge on Konoha, but also the belief that he needs to start rebuilding his clan soon, would push him into constantly trying to persuade his s/o to leave with him.

Now I've said that before, but I don't see Sasuke with the shy, agreeable type of partner... so most likely his s/o would just cuss him out and tell him to leave.

Lot's of arguments, jealousy and gaslighting - Sasuke is literally a walking RED FLAG during that time.

He also is not the type to give up easily, so even if his s/o tries to 'break things off', there is no getting rid of him - his s/o is HIS and he would make sure not only they understand it, but that the WHOLE WORLD does. Nobody loves like an Uchiha after all...

AFTER the war

If you expect head canons based on Sasuke's personality in Boruto... you better stop reading here! I've never seen Boruto, but I've read enough to know that (at least for me) almost all of the OG characters are ruined. So here is my interpretation of what type of partner Sasuke would be after the war...

Firstly, let's start with the fact that he will be by himself for a long time while travelling during his "exhile". Even if he had some type of partner/crush before the war, it is unlikely their relationship would survive after the war.

(which is quite good actually, because as I mentioned above, such relationship would be highly toxic and dysfunctional!)

I think at least a few years need to pass for him to really find himself, find his purpose and accept his past and that of his clan. He has been through a lot of trauma which needs a lot of healing and self-discovery.

Like mentioned above, I don't think he would fall in love with a ninja. In fact, I believe someone who is not really part of that bloody and cruel world would be perfect for him and he would finally have the chance to be himself.

Someone with a lot of patience would suit him well, because while he is more mature, I think he would be very insecure. He never really formed any significant bonds with other people, so he is unsure how to proceed and how to properly treat his s/o.

Definitely friends-to-lovers type of love story.

Sasuke after the war would be more patient and calm, but still fiercely overprotective. I still think he would scold his s/o of they are too careless or too trusting with strangers, he would be nearly as controlling as his younger self.

Tbh I never understood the character development in Boruto, because in my opinion adult Sasuke would totally want a quiet settled life with his partner, away from battles and more bloodshed.

It's already settled in him to be a provider and to be honest I imagine him as a very traditional male figure - the head of the family, the one taking care of his partner and kids, providing protection and security.

He still has a lot to learn and overcome, but the main thing that sets him apart from his younger self is the willingness to listen to his partner and work on himself.

He is still occasionally rude and snappy, and to an outsider way too cold and reserved toward his partner, but to his s/o it would be obvious that he does try to show affection in his own way - waking up before everyone else, so he can prepare breakfast; unconsciously shielding his partner (and kids) with his body in public; small gifts, most of which handmade; subtle touches on the arm or the lower back...

Overall, a piece of work... but definitely one that is worth it!

cc artwork: Christian Benavides

[blingblong55]

Funny Feeling -141

Photo credit: @ave661 (left)

A/N: König will be done in the next post, I'm sorry I couldn't add him to this one..

Not a request but my own need for this:

141&Konig find out (same time as you do) that you have PCOS. You of course are sad because of the fertility issues and all the problems this condition brings, but not to worry, your partner is here to help and uplift you.  ---- F!Reader, reader with pcos, fluff, angst, comfort, established!realtionship, tw: self worth issues ----

A/N: I needed comfort and well I figured you might too so.. here's this

"All the signs point to yes, the way you have given me a description and the tests we ran," the doctor breaks the news. "This can't be right? Maybe there was a mistake?" Your hand holding onto your husband's hand. "It's PCOS, ma'am." You shook your head. You read every article, and watched every video, and even though you said your signs must be for something else, here you are. 

"What does this mean for her?" your husband asks, knowing you are just trying to find yourself in the void you've been pushed to. "Well it can mean a lot of things, for example..." the doctor's voice fades. Your eyes are on that desk, the lighting of the room only making this news worse. Tears form in your eyes. What does this mean? No family, no picket fence, and Sunday walk with your kids. 

You wanted to cry and argue against the results but it's all there in that paper. Your heart breaks and you grip his hand again. 

The ride home was silent, he knew it was best this way. You thought of it all, the giggles, the drawings on the wall, the stained clothes, and the staying up late that you'll never get to do. 

"We're home," he mentions softly, his hand on yours again as you are lost in thought. All you can do is get out of the car and walk inside. You know it's wrong to push him away but it's the only thing that feels right. Your emotions are all over the place. You feel more disgusted with yourself. The hair that's growing on the chin and chest, the stupid periods you've missed, the weight gain, the way you look around and see everyone building your families and you, sitting in a bathroom, undressed as you look at the weight and wished you were 'better'. 

John Price: 

The first thing he does is leave you alone. He doesn't know how it feels, however, he knows that if he were in your place, he'd too need some time alone. He knows one thing, if the places were changed, you'd be doing something to make him cheer up, anything. "My love, I'm going out for a few minutes, you need me, I'm a phone call away." he kisses your forehead but when you refuse to let him kiss your soft skin, he sighs and walks away. 

They say, to be loved is to be known and he knows you all too well. So, he goes to every store in town, looks for that one book you've been looking for, and then, there it is, the flowers, the takeout and the one blanket you eyed for a little too long when shopping with him. 

Meanwhile, in the small bathroom, you lie down. Eyes on the ceiling as you feel yourself cry once more. Stupid, stupid, stupid body of mine. Why must this be your place? Why can't you give him the one chance at happiness? One kid at least, two at best and a stupid family dog that could be running around during family walks. 

"I hate you-"

"Love? Hey, open up, I'm home," he says as he knocks on the door of the bathroom. "Go away-"

"Not happening, open up my sweetheart, let me show you everything will be alright," his voice was so soft and gentle. 

Once he finally has you in his arms, guiding you to the cosy living room, he covers your eyes and smiles. "We'll talk about this all later but for now, let me release some stress."

"But-"

"Love, no. I'm not letting you think that just because of this condition you are less than any other woman out there. You are so much more than just someone who can give me children. You are this incredibly funny, smart and seriously kind person. You're my girl, nothing changes that, kids or not. Now, let's eat, watch some film I found and then, we'll stay up and talk about today." 

Simon Riley: 

You've been in the bedroom, looking at the pictures your siblings have sent you of your nieces and/or nephews. Their little giggles, the silly little things they do when they get annoyed when not solving a small puzzle. Tears form in your eyes. "Lovie, I got the bath- Lovie?" His voice was softer than ever. He recognizes that frown and the only thing he can do is walk to you, wrap his arms around you and give you a tight hug. His lips meet your forehead. "I feel broken like there is something very wrong with me," you confess as small tears fall. "You're not broken, lovie," he whispers. 

"Well, it feels like I am, everything is wrong with me, I feel disgusted with myself."

He shakes his head, "If there is one thing I've learned is that even if you feel like you are completely worthless, it's a temporary thing. At the end of the day, you are much more than being the one I have a family with. So what if we can't have sleepless nights? You're not here to just be a mother. And, if we want kids, I'm sure we'll adopt or maybe we can search for other stuff- the point here is, you are much more than serving as some womb for our kids." 

He kisses picks you up and carries you to the bathroom. "Now, let me take care of you, okay? You do it for me when I come home and it's time you get treated the same." 

One thing with him is that he shows you his true love, admiration and excitement with acts of service. He won't directly tell you all his emotions but his actions do tell you all you need to know. As you lay back on the tub, he grabs your hand and kisses it. "Everything will be alright, I promise you that much," he smiles and slowly scrubs your body, the feeling of the bubbles and warm water soothe you. 

Kyle Garrick: 

It's bizarre. The rain pitter-pattered against the windowpane as you sat curled up on the sofa, your thoughts a whirlwind of worry and frustration. Today had been one of those days where everything seemed to spiral out of control. To be diagnosed with this condition had hit you out of a tidal wave, and left you feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about the future. Why must you be this way?

Kyle, your ever-supportive husband, noticed the heaviness in your demeanour the moment he stepped through the door. Droplets of rain clung to his jacket as he approached you, concern etched on his features. "Y/N, love, are you alright?" he asked softly, kneeling beside you. He knows you, that weak smile falters almost immediately. "It's a lot to take in," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. Kyle wraps his arms around you, pulling you close in a comforting embrace. "I know, darling. But you're not alone in this. We'll figure it out together, okay?" he murmurs, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. 

You nod, feeling the weight of his words anchor to the present moment. You lean into his warmth, finding solace in the familiar scent of his cologne mingled with the rain outside. 

For the rest of the evening, Kyle made it his mission to care for you in every way he could. He brewed your favourite herbal tea and fetched the cosy blanket to wrap you in it. He listened attentively as you, for so long, poured out your fears and frustrations. In between doubt, he offered words of reassurance. 

As the evening goes on, he notices how the weight of your diagnosis left you with a burden. He can see the sadness etched into your features, the worry lines creasing your forehead as you sit and stare into the distance. "Love, what's on your mind?" he asks softly, reaching out to gently squeeze your hand. 

You let out a heavy sigh, and your shoulders slump as you face him, "I just can't shake this feeling off, babe," you admit to him once more, that soft voice of yours tinged with sadness. "It's a lie no matter what I do, this stupid condition will always be a part of me." Tears well in your eyes. 

His heart aches at the sound of defeat in your voice, but he refuses to let your despair consume not just you but him as well. With a tender smile, he cups your cheek, brushing away the stray tear with his thumb. How can you tell someone you want to listen to and understand them? How can you show love for them when they can't even accept love for something they can't control?  

"Y/N, listen to me," he says firmly, his gaze unwavering. "This condition doesn't define you. It's just one part of who you are, love. And it certainly isn't your fault." 

You blink back tears, your throat tightening with emotion. "But it feels like...like I'm broken," your voice barely above a whisper. He shook his head, his expression softening with understanding. "You aren't broken, Y/N. Not even in the slightest," he insists, his voice laced with conviction. "You are this strong, beautiful and capable of so much more than you realise. And I will be here every step of the way, holding your hand through it all."

With that, Gaz pulls you into his arms, holding you close as if to shield you from pain. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, pouring all his love and reassurance into the simple gesture. At that moment, surrounded by his unwavering love and support, you felt a flicker of hope ignite in you. 

In the days that followed, he was your constant support and encouragement. He researched PCOS tirelessly, eager to understand your condition better and help you navigate the complexities. He accompanies you to doctor's appointments, holding your hand through every moment. He also made small challenges to not just your lifestyle but his. New healthier habits, medication, self-help books and moments of joy filled your life with him. 

John "Soap" MacTavish:

The soft glow of the bedside lamp, once you reach the bedroom, casts a warm ambience in the room as you sit on the edge of the bed, your mind clouded with worry and uncertainty. You stare blankly at the floor, thoughts consumed by this condition. It felt as though the world had turned upside down in an instant, leaving you lost and vulnerable. 

Johnny, your steadfast husband, watched you with concern from his place beside you. He could see the turmoil written in your eyes. Without a word, he reached out and gently took your hand in his, offering a silent anchor in this storm. 

You squeeze his hand tightly, seeking solace in the warmth of his touch. "What am I now, Johnny?" you confess. "It's like... everything I thought I knew about myself has been thrown into question."

Johnny's heart ached, he can't let you suffer alone, not like this. "You don't have to deal with this alone, bonnie," he kisses the top of your hand. "We're in this together, remember?"

You nod, eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I know, but... it's just so hard," your voice trembles with emotion. It's not love if they leave during something so hard, they say. It's unconditional love when they stay, I say. 

"I know it's hard, bonnie. But I also know how strong you are," he gives you a small smile. "You are much more than this diagnosis." It's beautiful, how in the middle of this heartache, he still gives you this funny yet warm feeling. "And I will be here every step of the way, supporting you, comforting you, and loving you with all that I am," he promises.  -----

A/N: If you have this, I'm always here, it's okay to sometimes rely on others. This isn't something to be ashamed about<3

Tags:

@shadofireshinobi @kit-kats06 @joyfulmarvelofavengers @luvecarson @hilmiponken @asgardswinter @141swhore @miscfandomwrites @itstrapbunnybubbles @rockcollector3000 @certifiedcodbabygirl @eicee @liyanahelena @theineandonlyidiot @johfaam0 @goldenmclaren @froggy-anon @ghostslillady @moonsua1 @frizzseaberries @istillcantfindausername @idklols @saoirse06 @vampsquerade @undercover-smutlover @juneonhoth @tiredmetalenthusiast @enarien @simonssweetgirl @willowaftxn83-87 @ikohniik @nobodys-coffee @strawberrychita @sae1kie @queen-ilmaree @pbcartii @llelannie @macnches2 @anonymuslydumb @avidreadee123 @talooolaaloolla @skelletonwitch @bittermajesties @nyx_flower @sparky--bunny @honestlyhiswife @who-can-appease-me @ghostwifeyy @konigssultwithghost @kaoyamamegami @the_royal_bee @soapybutt17 @a-goose-with-a-knife @foxface013 @thegreyjoyed @mychemicalimalance @marshiely @tuihiatus

[staylovesmiley]

Going Dumb~ Chapter 3

ᯓᡣ𐭩Pairing; Kim Seungmin x Fem!reader , Stray Kids x Fem!reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩Summary; It had been over a decade since you had last seen each other, having met in choir when Seungmin was living with his grandparents in LA and you with your Aunt. Now that you are both presented adults, how will he handle a change to the reality of you he had made in his mind in your absence over the years?

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 Notes; This is an ABO!AU. in this world when someone reaches puberty they will present with one of three sub genders; alpha, beta, or omega. Due to Alphas and Omegas experiencing rut and heat, some jobs are restrictive as to what sub genders they will hire, specifically singling out omegas as heat suppressants are harder to obtain than rut suppressants. Scent glands are located near the pressure points on the neck and small hormonal patches called scent blockers can be placed over them to reduce or rid an individual of their scent for a period of time depending on the strength of the hormones in the patch.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩Warnings; abo!au, beta!kim seungmin, almost all alpha!straykids, female!reader, poly!pack dynamics, angst, mild violence, mentions of sexual harassment/assault and discrimination, smut, enemies to lovers, Kim seungmin is kind of an ass I’m so sorry dandy boy, she/her pronouns used for reader, jealous seungmin, I have only ever wrote one abo story before but it is one of my favorite genres so I hope I can do this justice~

Chan could tell something had happened the second he stepped into the dorm, having been in the studio working late as usual when Seungmin had exploded rather unfairly on you.

He set his bag down by the couch and looked where the young beta sat with his head in his hands for what had probably been hours. “Hey pup, what’s wrong?” The eldest asked as he ran his hand over his shoulders in what was supposed to be a soothing manner but only succeeded to cause the younger to tense under the touch.

“I fucked up-“ is all he said, running his hands over his face tiredly as he still struggled to find the words he wished to say that could make up for his earlier outburst. “You fucked up…how?” As the scent of saltwater and sun filled the apartment it signaled to the second eldest that the pack alpha had returned and caused Minho to stir where he had begun to doze off beside you.

The alpha was carefully not to wake you as he slowly removed his limbs from where they were holding your frame in your slumber, quickly making his way into the living room to join Chan and Seungmin. “I’ll tell you how he fucked up.” This caused the beta’s head to snap up as he looked at his hyung with guilt swimming behind his eyes. “He was a complete ass to our guest, he said some horrible things to her and she ran away crying.” Minho recounted the events to the pack alpha as he crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the younger with distaste.

Chan looked between the two carefully. The look of shame on the beta’s face told him that the younger alpha was speaking the truth. “Seungmin what the fuck- what has gotten into you?! Seriously- this is so childish of you.” The eldest ran his hands through his hair in exasperation and his eyes landed on your room. “I’ll go check and see if she’s-“ “asleep.” Minho cut him off, shaking his head. “She cried herself out pretty quickly and so I stayed with her while she slept but I wasn’t sure what bullshit Seung would try and spin to you so I decided to tell you myself.” Chan raised an eyebrow at the second eldest, now noticing how heavily your scent had melded with the dancers.

“You scented her- didn’t you?” The older alpha questioned as he stepped closer and sniffed lightly at Minho’s now stilled form. “Well I uh-“ there was a soft growl from the man sitting on the couch and he shot up. “Are you fucking kidding me?! You scented her- Minho hyung what the fuck you don’t even know her!” This only angered the alpha again and if it wasn’t for Chan he would have lunged at the beta. “And you do?!?”

Chris growled deeply, the sound practically shaking the floor and causing you to startle awake in the other room. “That is enough out of the two of you! Sit. Down.” With a glare from the oldest the two sat on opposite ends of the sofa with eyes downcast to the floor.

You stared at the door to your temporary living arrangement with wide eyes as the scent of two agitated alphas and one equally if not more agitated beta reached your nose and caused you to whimper softly as you felt stilled with fear. Images of your childhood flashed through your mind as your scent began to become laced with distress.

Not having good control of your scent at the best of the times, now it was even more difficult for you to get a handle on as it alerted the others in the dorm that something was wrong. “Shit- I told her I’d stay with her…” Minho cursed under his breath and started to make it way to you before Chan reached out to stop him. “I’ll go, you and Seungmin go to your rooms and cool off. Seriously, get it together.”

The pack alpha padded down the hall to your room and knocked gently causing you to jump slightly. “Wh-who’s there?” You asked softly, though the scent of the ocean was already seeping through the cracks of the door and enveloping your senses. “It’s Chan, can I come in?” You took a deep, shaky breath but gave him the go ahead.

He came and took a seat at the edge of the bed, not making any moves to get any closer as you were still back against the pillows with your knees pulled up to your chest. “Is everything okay?” You said softly, afraid to meet his eyes. “I feel like I should be the one asking you that.” Chan chuckled, shaking his head before patting the spot next to him.

You scooted forward to sit beside him and shrugged. “I’m fine- but I uh I get the feeling I’m causing nothing but trouble for you and your pack…” the alpha rolled his eyes a bit light heartedly and shook his head again. “Not at all, well maybe for one member in particular. But I feel he’s the one making it a problem for himself, not you…”

You whined a bit, putting your head in your hands. “Same difference- maybe I should just go stay at a hotel…I honestly don’t see why that was such an issue in the first place.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair still a bit messy from your earlier nap. Chan looked down at you with a slight smirk as he thought of how cute you looked like this, now that he knew you were safe and everything was more or less okay, he couldn’t blame Minho much for wanting to scent you like he had. “I told Mr and Mrs Kim I didn’t mind and that it would only be for a bit but they insisted that Seungmin wanted me to stay here…”

That caused Chan’s attention to peak back to your words. “So you were under the impression he wanted you to come?” You nodded softly, groaning a bit. “Yeah, and like an idiot I got all excited thinking of how we’d catch up and then…well you know how he’s been since I got here. I guess they may have fibbed a bit to get me to drop the hotel idea-“

The alpha shook his head and laughed. “I’ll say- well listen, it’s getting late. But, I wanted to invite you to our album release party tomorrow evening. I can send a car to pick you up from your work if you’d like?” You turned to face him, blinking in confusion up at his dimpled and hopeful smile. “You want me to come to your album release party? That Seungmin will be at?” You raised an eyebrow at him questioning his motives. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Chan nodded and his grin simply widened. “Yup. It’ll be the kids, a few staff, and you if you’d like? Something small but there will be food and drinks.” Sighing, you shrugged. “I’m probably crazy for agreeing but sure…it sounds like it could be fun- if you’re sure it won’t cause anyone to get upset by me being there.” The alpha brushed off her concern, sending her a wink. “I’ll keep everyone in line. Besides, Minho has hogged you to himself for long enough today. You should get to spend time with all of us.” He teased, nudging your side as he could still smell the younger alpha’s heavy caramel scent mixed in with your own.

With your agreement to attend the release party the next evening, you bid each other a good night and the alpha retired to his room to get a few hours of much needed sleep before the chaos continued as their schedules were soon to get even busier than they had been in preparation for the comeback.

In the morning you were shocked to find the dorm empty even at the early hour you had to get up at to get ready for your teaching job. You made your way through your morning routine and as you finished up and made your way to the kitchen with the intention of just grabbing something quick you saw a plate already made for you with a note hastily scribbled out sitting beside it. Picking up the piece of paper carefully, you read it aloud to yourself.

“I’m sorry for last night. Seungmin.”

A smile found its way to your face as you set the note back on the counter and heated up the plate in the microwave before digging into the delicious breakfast left for you.

The day went by rather uneventfully, lunch was spent alone the same as the day previously as you had yet to make anything close to an acquaintance at your new job. There were a few looks thrown your way in the hall by some of the alpha teachers, causing you to rush into your office and feel at your scent glands only to realize you had forgotten to reapply your blockers before you left.

The rest of the day was spend in your classroom, praying your scent wasn’t too strong today as you tried to push through the work day. You told yourself from now on you’d keep extra scent blockers in your desk for situations like this, mentally cursing yourself for taking Minho up on his idea to not wear them around the dorm in the first place.

It was already getting dark by the time you finished up and heard the ping of a text coming through your phone. You looked to see it was Chan letting you know the driver he had sent to pick you up had arrived and was waiting outside for you.

You made your way down and waved to the driver politely before sliding into the back seat. “Good evening, thank you so much for picking me up.” You said as best as you could to the driver who nodded in response with a warm smile before driving off towards the large JYPE building.

You were let out at the side of the building, the driver explaining how to enter before leaving to park the car somewhere nearby you assumed. With a shaky sigh, nerves wracking your being, you made your way inside and quickly became overwhelmed with not knowing where to go.

Luckily a familiar face came to your rescue, having run into Felix and Hyunjin coming out of the elevator. “There you are! Chan got a text from the driver saying you arrived so we came down to get you!” Felix said, a bright smile on his face as he strolled up beside you with his taller alpha friend in tow. The smell of chocolate liquor and worn leather washed over you as the two approached, causing you to breathe in deeply as if to drown yourself in it. The combination of their scents felt like how you would imagine an old Hollywood movie would smell, only a bit sweeter, and you tried your best to keep your citrusy scent from tainting it.

Felix stood at your left while Hyunjin moved swiftly to flank your right side. “We’re so happy you could make it, the album released earlier in the day but we all had schedules to attend so this is the first time we are actually getting to relax and celebrate it.” Hyunjin explained as the two lead you into the elevator and up to where everyone was partying in an empty conference room in the building usually used for meetings and things of the sort.

“Really? Well I’m glad Chan invited me! I’d be lying if I said I didn’t try to keep up with what you guys have put out…I’ve just always been a bit too hesitant to reach out to Seungmin directly to offer my congratulations-“ This caused the two alphas to give each other a look before their gaze returned to you. “That’s in the past, you’re here to congratulate him now!” Felix said, trying to lighten to mood before it could be dulled any by your past regrets.

As the three of you entered the room, your senses began to feel overwhelmed from the start. Speakers somewhere in the room played music from what you assumed was their new album, the smell of the food they had catered in mixed with new scents of the staff members present you have yet to meet along with those of the pack you we’re currently dwelling with, and the bright fluorescent office lights beamed down from overhead. The combination of these things immediately causing your head to pound and your nerves to increase as your instincts were on edge in such an environment.

Minho picked up on the change in your scent from across the room, though it was still familiar enough that it made him nudge Jisung in the side to signal to the other that he was leaving their conversation a bit early. The younger alpha pouted before looking to where the alpha was heading and your scent found his nose, suddenly understanding why the older left his company to tend to you.

Warm caramel soon enveloped you, calming your racing mind and causing your senses to regulate as Minho took your hands into his and pulled you to him. “Bunny, you made it.” His voice was soothing amongst the loud chatter and music in the room, causing you to nuzzle into his chest on instinct for some sort of shelter from it all. “Wouldn’t wanna miss out on celebrating a successful comeback for you guys. It would be rude since Chan went out of his way to invite me-“ you said softly, pulling away from him only slightly to give the alpha a smile

Felix and Hyunjin exchanged yet another knowing look before smirking to one another and disappearing to get refreshments and join conversation with others in the room. Jisung came up slowly from behind Minho, smiling softly with a hesitant wave. “Hey Bunny, you hungry? There’s lots of food if you want something to eat.” He offered, motioning towards the catering table.

You followed his gesture and looked the food over from afar before your stomach answered for you with a light growl. “I guess I could eat-“

You allowed the two alphas to lead you over to the table of refreshments, making yourself a small plate with some of the finger foods available before moving off to the side of the room with them to eat.

Sat on a small couch in the corner of the room, you between the pair as they took turns offering you and each other food off of their plates. Not thinking much of it, you began to do the same thing as the three of you fell into simple conversation about your days and how they were. “Wait- some people have been giving you weird looks today because of your scent?”

Jisung looked at you appalled with cheeks stuffed by the little chocolate cakes he had piled on half of his plate. His deep coffee scent turning more bitter as his brows furrowed. “Well yes but it could just be cause I’m new- I didn’t really see many of the other faculty on my first day and so I just so happened to meet a lot of them for the first time without my blockers on.” You explained before taking a small bite of a sandwich, swallowing before finishing your thought. “I’m sure it’s just a coincidence-“

Minho shook his head, setting his plate down. “If they continue to give you trouble you’ll talk to your boss, yeah?” The alpha’s tone compelled you to agree, not wanting to disappoint him. “Promise me?” He added, deep brown eyes softening as they looked into your own. “I promise, if my coworkers give me trouble I’ll go to my boss.” The alpha smiled, offering you a cookie from his plate almost as if in reward.

From the other side of the room, Seungmin’s eyes followed your every move from the moment you had entered the conference room. Slowly, anger began to bubble up in his chest as he watched you becoming closer with the two alphas sat on either side of you. Changbin stood by his side talking about some new elements he had added to his work out routine, trying and failing to get the beta interested in possibly joining him more often during his work out sessions. The one sided conversation was completely abandoned however as Seungmin saw Minho offering you a small cookie which he held up to your mouth for your to bite rather than just handing it to you to feed yourself.

That was it. He couldn’t fully comprehend the feelings washing over him but he knew anger was amongst them and so he leaned into it fully as he stormed up to the two of you and all but smacked the cookie out of his hyung’s hand. “What the actual fuck do you think you’re doing?” The beta growled, glaring down at you as he decided that was where he would direct his anger. “First you’re sneaking out to dinner with him and letting him scent you before bed and now you’re letting him hand feed you?! What do you like- like Minho or something?!” He practically howled, chest heaving and he felt like steam could have come blowing out of his ears.

“Look, it’s one thing to be an annoying attention whore in elementary school but we are adults now, I think it’s time to grow up and get a grip. Acting like you’re in heat for fucks sake.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes before something unexpected happened.

A loud crack echoed through the room as with the beta’s outburst all conversations had died to draw their full attention to your side of the room. The sharp sound of skin coming into contact with skin was from where you had just slapped Seungmin clear across the face, now standing up slowly until you were almost chest to chest with the beta. Tears stung at the corners of your eyes but you had had enough of his insults, or his ignorance.

Your eyes were practically red with anger as your words seeped out from your lips like venom. “Look, I get that it’s been a long time since we’ve last seen each other and we’ve lost touch over the years but Jesus Christ Seungmin-” You looked him up and down, disgust and hurt evident in your eyes. “What the fuck happened to you?”

“I cannot believe I thought so highly of you, Kim Seungmin.” The tears had began to slip down your cheeks but you didn’t care at this point, you needed to finish what was on your mind.

“I don’t know what happened to change you into this….this fucked up shell of who you used to be but clearly it wasn’t the game because your members have been nothing but kind and welcoming to me.” He looked like he was about to speak up so you cut him off before he could get the chance.

“You’re a heartless, stuck up, ignorant and arrogant asshole who doesn’t understand what a true friend is if it hit him in the face….cause it just fucking did.” You spat at him, jabbing a finger into his chest with ever word before reaching behind you and grabbing your bag from the floor by the couch where you had set it. You made your way through everyone and towards the door. “I should have let you find out the hard way how cruel people are so maybe you wouldn’t treat others this way. Seriously, seek fucking help for your mental block.” Slamming the door on your way out, all eyes went from where you had exited to where Seungmin stood with his hand clutching the place you had slapped him. “What…..the fuck.” Came Jisung’s small voice from the couch, plate of sweets now abandoned as everyone tried to process what had just happened.

author’s note: gAH I’m so so SO sorry for the long wait for an update to either of my stories- ໒꒰ྀི ◞ ◟꒱ྀིა you have all been so kind and gracious towards me I really hope you all enjoy this chapter despite the somewhat cliffhanger at the end hehe~ new chapter should be out soon and hopefully some of the angst with get cleared up I had intended to put a lot of answers to the past in this chapter but decided to wait a bit longer on it ૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა NOT TOO MUCH LONGER THOUGH HOPEFULLY!!!~~

taglist; @coastinglove @skzswife @maisyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[dilemmaontwolegs]

hey queen, for “see no evil hear no evil” pt3, would you consider doing pregnancy x speech where our girl discovers from someone that she can learn how to talk, and she secretly practices it and one day she finds out she is pregnant and she tells aemond that she’s pregnant by talking to him (she also tells him “i love you” 👀) bc that would be so cool!!!

Sorry this took a few days but my writing time had seriously been cut back and I miss it 😭

See No Evil, Hear No Evil {3}

Aemond Targaryen x deaf!fem!reader Author's Note: I may have got a little side tracked but I think I have covered this all as requested with a few extras thrown in. Warnings: 18+ only, NSFW, period sex, blood, allusion to infertility struggles, canon-death, vomit. WC: 4210

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four

Half of your body was too hot and the other half was too cold when you woke at dawn. The golden hues of the sun breaking the horizon lightened the room as you looked around and found the fire had died overnight. Aemond’s arm tightened around your waist and he nuzzled your shoulder as he curled his long body around yours, providing more heat than you needed. 

Easing out of his embrace for the fifth week in a row, you went into the adjacent room and pulled the string that connected to the maids’ quarters. You had just finished washing your face to chase away the lingering feeling of exhaustion from the early rising when two handmaids appeared and grabbed the dress you had selected for the day. 

Appropriately attired, you made your way through the quiet castle to Princess Helaena’s chambers and found the whimsical woman already opening the door for you with a warm smile. “Ready for today’s lesson?”

Nervousness crept in once again as you nodded and stepped into her room while the children still slept, apparently dawn was the only time it was quiet, or so she said. You thought you had long put the feeling of self-consciousness behind you but these lessons with Helaena had regressed you to the youthful mindset of bygone times and it was a constant battle to continue to show up, until you reminded yourself why you were doing this. 

Helaena waved her hand to the cushioned chair opposite her and you flattened your skirts as you took a seat, grabbing your book and a graphite pencil that Aemond made sure you had plenty of. After writing your message you turned the book around and Helaena read the writing. 

I am to see the maesters this morning so I must leave before long.

“You are not ill,” she stated or asked, though you weren’t quite sure which.

Your hand flew across the page as your chest tightened at the mere thought of what you were writing. It had been the cause for your increased anxiety and only grew as the days passed by and your body experienced no changes.

Six cycles and I am yet with child. 

Helaena gently pushed the book back onto your lap and took your hands in her smaller, delicate ones. “You are not ill, and you will be with child soon. You will be holding a babe by Maelor’s third Name Day. I have dreamed it.”

You struggled to concentrate on the lesson as Helaena’s words echoed in your mind and hope fluttered in your chest. You loved Aemond more than anything, you loved him so much that you felt you could not contain it - you wished to take all that love and create life from it. You wanted to see Aemond as a father, knowing there is no one more loyal to his family and that the child would be loved deeply. 

Yet each cycle you would wake with cramps in your abdomen and an ache in your heart. Aemond could see the tears in your eyes on those mornings and, try as he might to comfort and assure you that good things take time, you could see the same sadness in his eye. 

You had hoped to have a moment with Alicent but with King Viserys’ ailing health she was oftentimes busy ensuring the kingdom ran smoothly and you did not want to be a burden. The queen had enough pressure on her shoulders as it was, though she could have had some more help in the kingdoms’ matters if her eldest son would do his duty.

You looked at the princess, ethereal in her beauty and kind in her disposition, she hardly saw her husband and you wished she had known a dutiful husband. She deserved to be doted upon as Aemond did you. 

“Your mind has taken you places, dear sister,” Helaena said with a smile. “It is almost time to break our fast, would you accompany me to the dining room?”

You nodded and tucked your book back in your pocket with the notes from the lesson before following her to where the twins were being ushered by their maids. Both Jaehaera and Jaehaerys waved excitedly and broke away from the maid trying to detangle their hair to wrap their arms around your legs. 

You knelt to the floor and hugged them back until they pulled back suddenly. 

“Uncle Aemond,” Jaehaera said with a toothy grin and a moment later the door opened to reveal your husband. 

Though it had not been long since you had seen him, your arms were reaching for him and wrapped around his waist as he placed a kiss on your forehead. “I thought I would find you here, my love. Are you hungry?”

You nodded and took Jaehaera’s hand as she reached for you and Aemond, swinging herself between you two as you imagined you would be doing with a child of your own one day. You looked across to Aemond as she swung again and his smile grew although the light never quite reached his eye.

Jaehaera tugged at her Uncle’s arm until he dropped to one knee to address her and his eyes darted to your, then your stomach, then back to your face. Her back was to you so you did not see what it was she said but whatever it was gave him pause. You flipped your hands over so your palms faced up, asking him ‘What?’ but he just shook his head with a smile and took Jaehaera’s hand once more.

You woke the following morning with waves of pain and rushed from the bed to the bathing chamber where the strips of clean linen were stored. You had grown to hate the natural process of your body with each passing month and when word came that Rhaenyra was pregnant yet again, you questioned yourself. 

You had seen it time and time again throughout the Red Keep and in the city beyond. You couldn’t understand why some found themself with a child after bedding a stranger for one night but you could not with over one hundred nights bedding Aemond. You were not one to delude yourself with what was fair and not fair in the life you had been dealt, but seeing the blood stain on your nightdress certainly challenged that. 

You dropped the nightdress into the basin and wrapped a robe around yourself as the weight of defeat pressed on your shoulders and tears leaked down your cheeks. Light poured into the room as the door was open and Aemond filled the space, the soiled sheets bundled in one hand.

You looked away, feeling guilty that a prince was reduced to maids activities, when he knelt before you so you had no choice but to face him as he spoke, “I have trained with the guards for much of my life, dear wife, a little blood is of no concern to me.”

Fresh tears rolled down your face as his tenderness served to catapult you far from your sadness but his worry only increased. 

“Why are you crying, my love?”

You shook your head, hoping to shake the abundance of thoughts filling you. There was no explanation that would make a man understand how turbulent emotions were in those first days of your womanly cycle, so you settled on kissing him instead. 

He dropped the sheet to the floor so he could cradle your face in his hands and deepen the kiss. You pulled away breathless as his hands untied the sash of the robe and pushed the material off your shoulders. You gasped and tried to cover yourself but there was no hiding the streak of red between your thighs, your body burning with embarrassment. 

“Don’t hide from me,” Aemond said as he bent his knees to look at your bowed face. “There is not one part of you that is not beautiful to me, nor is there anything that would change my love for you.”

You bit back the fear that filled you as you asked him something that had been dwelling in the depth of your mind for months and your hands shook as you signed, What if I cannot give you a child?

His lips pressed together sternly and your stomach plummeted within your body before he gave your shoulders a small shake and said, “There is nothing that would change my love for you.”

The air in your lungs released along with the immense pressure that you had not realised had been building in you and you sagged into Aemond’s embrace with relief. His strong arms encased you as your tears dampened his skin and he pulled back. 

“I did not know this weighed so heavily upon you, my love.” He closed his eye and pressed his forehead to yours for a moment. “I should have been more attentive as your husband.”

The thought of your loving husband being even more attentive than he already was didn’t seem possible and your lips parted with a laugh as you shook your head at the impossibility of it all. He froze and wonder fell across his features at what he heard before he crushed his lips against yours and hooked your leg around his thigh. 

“Please,” he said and you knew what he was asking as you felt his erection against your thigh. Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of the act, one that was usually saved for those wishing to not fall pregnant. If you said no, Aemond would respect your choice but you found yourself not wanting to say no - though it was possibly the lady-like thing to do. You always wanted your husband and the blood was no concern to him, so why deny both of you the pleasure?

You nodded and wrapped your arms around his neck as he guided you backwards to the bench that held the basin. The wood was cold beneath you as you sat at the edge and Aemond spread your legs with his hips as he stepped between them and pressed his manhood to your entrance.

Your fingers danced over his back as he filled you and from the smile on his handsome face you knew he was enjoying the sounds you were making as the cramps eased and a different tightness grew. You had not known the remedy his body could give but you were grateful as he chased away the pain and replaced it with pleasure. 

His breath was hot on your neck as he kissed over your pulse and you buried your hands in his hair, holding him close as you felt your heart beating hard in your chest and the same pulse throbbed at your core. 

The long thrusts were teasingly slow and you needed more, dropping your hands to his firm buttocks and pulling him closer. His response was instant as he planted his hands on the wall behind your head rutted hard and quick, leaving you gasping as he hit the deepest parts of your core until you came undone around him. 

Aemond bit his lip at the feel of your release tightening your walls and he dropped his head to your shoulder, wrapping you in his arms as he filled you with his seed through the shudders. Pulling away, he kissed you sweetly before reaching for a washcloth and he laughed as you gasped at the mess, your jaw dropping wide.

“It is blood, not poison,” Aemond teased as he dunked the cloth in the basin and wrung it out before cleaning your thighs. Once you were clean, he wrapped the robe around you to chase off the morning chill before cleaning himself shamelessly, easing the sense of taboo that had crept back in. “I’ll call for breakfast in our room this morning, unless you feel well enough for the dining room.”

Though the cramping ache had gone for the moment, there was still a dull tenderness with each move you made and you did not wish to trek down the halls and stairs to the dining room so you shook your head. You left the bathing room with a handful of linen strips as Aemond grabbed his own robe and found a fresh sheet cast across the bed, though it was not tucked in finely as the maids did.  

Another wave of emotion swamped you and your chest jumped with a hiccup that drew Aemond’s attention. He was in front of you in a heartbeat, seeing fresh tears in your eyes and he ran his hands down your arms. “Did I hurt you?”

You shook your head and placed one hand over his heart as the other signed, I love you.

“I love you too,” he said with a smile as he wiped your damp cheeks. “I never realised how many different tears there were. I prefer your happy tears over all else.” 

Another laugh bubbled from your chest and you pulled away, leaving him smiling to himself as you went to the dressing room. There was nothing pretty about the undergarments that were reserved for your cycle, their only purpose was to hold the linen strips in place and you quickly hid them under a fresh bed dress, deciding you were not going to venture out into the public eye at all. 

Aemond was already laying in the bed when you returned, the blanket barely covering his modesty as he watched you cross the room to him. The hunger in his eye had you stumble and you knew that look intimately, it held the promise that he would give you no reason to want to leave the bed, perhaps ever again.

Smiles came easier and there was no longer an ache in your chest when you watched Aemond play with his nephews and niece. In the last six weeks he had reassured you a plenty that child or not, he would love you until the end of time. 

Sex also came a plenty as the stress of bearing a child was eased from your mind and you took your time enjoying and learning Aemond’s body intimately. There were certainly perks to having sex purely for the fun of it, especially when you wrapped your lips around his cock and brough him to release with your mouth. That was a favourite of yours, being able to look up the length of his body and see how he reacted to your touch, to your tongue. 

“Look at me like that and we will not make it to the Vaemond’s challenge,” Aemond said as he sent Maelor toddling back to his mother so he could have a moment with you in the tower window.

You grinned and lifted your shoulders, silently asking if it would be such a bad thing. His hand wrapped around yours and lifted it to his lips to place a delicate kiss to your palm. 

“And miss the grand family reunion,” he said with a slow growing smile as he saw his sister’s carriage arrive unmet in the courtyard far below. “Come, my love, we should get ready.”

 Your stomach turned as you looped your arm in your husband’s and let him lead the way down the staircase, towards the one who had scarred his face. You knew the story of that night, and how young the boys were when the incident happened, but Aemond’s resentment still burned like the red hot embers that remained long after the flames stopped flickering.

The nervous nausea grew the closer to the throne room that you stepped and when you crossed the threshold you were sure you were going to vomit. Aegon and Helaena were already waiting with Alicent, a clear division in the room as they stood to the left and waited for you to join them.

Alicent greeted you with a kiss to your cheek and she cupped Aemond’s scarred cheek gently as if to remind herself of the pain the other half of King Viserys’ family had wrought on hers. All words that could have been exchanged between mother and son died as Rhaenyra and her family entered the great room. 

Your eyes immediately fell to the swell of her belly that her hand rested upon but you did not feel the usual pang of hurt and it was a relief. 

The relief was short lived as three heads of dark hair trailed in her wake and you felt Aemond tense beside you as his eye fell on them too. You laced your fingers with his and felt him squeeze your hand gently in thanks but he dared not look away from the ones he saw as a threat to his family. 

The group barely gave you a passing glance but their stares lingered on Aemond, or more so the scar and leather patch that hid the worst of his injury. 

Your free hand inched up your throat and flicked out while Aemond coughed a laugh at the vulgar gesture you aimed at the young man who had drawn blood from your husband. The laugh was echoed by Aegon, as he was usually on the receiving end of the gesture, and Alicent shook her head but said nothing as the corners of her eyes wrinkled like she was suppressing a smile too. 

Your eyes trailed over the two halves dividing the room but as you were not in the centre there was not a lot you could read of what they were saying. You could only judge how the challenge was going by the reactions of the faces you were seeing. It was almost a physical ripple of surprise that spread along the room and you watch row after row turn to face the doors. 

The King had risen from his healing slumbers to decide the fate of Driftmark. 

Risen may have been the wrong term, for the King was hardly upright as he struggled to cross the floor with his cane to aid him. Pity filled you for the ailing man who had been kind and welcoming to you and you wished someone would ease his struggle to the throne. 

Your respect for Prince Daemon grew as he stepped up when Viserys’ crown tumbled from his head and the second son placed it back upon his brother’s head. It said a lot about a man who could be so close to the throne and never have it to still hold love for his older brother. You had no doubt that if tradition had not been broken to have Rhaenyra as Viserys’ heir and not his first born son, Aegon, that Aemond would have publically supported his brother too. 

With Otto sitting on the throne as Hand you could read his lips, but with Viserys there was no hope, not with half of his face hidden by the golden mask he wore. You didn’t like the confusion that came with being on the outside of the conversation and it left you more than a little stunned when Daemon suddenly drew his sword and beheaded Vaemond with one foul swoop.

You could scarcely believe your eyes as his body collapsed one way but his head the other and Aemond grabbed your waist, spinning you away from the sight that stayed burned in your mind. It took you a moment to process what you had seen, the odd organ that had been bared from the strike, and you realised it was Vaemond’s tongue that had remained with his body. 

Your stomach lurched and there was no stopping the bile that rose in your throat as you tore away from Aemond and made it passed the line of witnesses before collapsing to your knees and vomiting across the stone floor. Cool hands brushed across your forehead and you knew who they belonged to in an instant. He did not hesitate to use the corner of his clean cloak to wipe away the bile that clung to your lips and draw you away from the mess you had made.

There was no condemnation on his concerned face when he turned you to look him in the eye and you were glad to find that the wave of nausea had passed with what you had emptied from your stomach. With a trembling hand, you closed it to a fist and rubbed your chest but he caught your wrist before you even completed one circle, shaking his head as he pulled it away.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, my love,” he said, placing your hand on his chest instead. “You are too pure to have witnessed such violence.”

You frowned at the statement, remembering the many violent deaths you had seen during tourneys over the years and not once had you been squeamish at the sight of a man dying on the sand and straw ground in the summer heat. However jaded it may seem, you had come to expect violence when royals and knights collide.

You looked at Helaena beyond Aemond’s profile and she was clutching her hands together, looking far too joyful for the startled response she had had only moments earlier. Her smile only grew as she stared back at you and her hands arced over her flat stomach before pointing at you. 

Your lips parted with a gasp and you looked down, expecting to see a bump in your dress but it looked as it usually did. You counted back in your head and your hands began to shake harder as you realised while you had not been paying such attention to your cycle, you were about two weeks late for yours. 

“Aemond,” you said as you stumbled back in surprise, but not as much as he did. 

“What did you say?” he asked in shock, and you feared you had not enunciated it as well as when you had practised with his sister. “Say it again, please.”

“Aemond,” you said carefully, breaking it down into the syllables as instructed. It was possibly too quiet for him as he stepped closer so you said a little more forcefully, “I’m pregnant.”

His eye widened in surprise and behind him you saw Alicent, as well as most of the guests, spin away from the throne to look at you. Many smiled at the news while others frowned but you paid them no mind as you saw a tear slip over Aemond’s thick lashes and cascade down his unmarred cheek.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked as if he couldn’t quite believe it had finally happened. “A child, our child?”

You nodded and he closed the distance, crushing his lips to yours despite the bitter taste that still filled your mouth. He did not care. The only thing he cared about was you and his child that was growing in your belly. His arms wrapped around you and you melted into his embrace as if the world around you and the body on the floor behind him did not exist, it was only you and Aemond sharing this moment.

You pulled back so you could see his face when you spoke, “I love you, Aemond.”

His chest shuddered and he swallowed deeply as he savoured hearing those words on your tongue. “Say it again,” he begged.

“Aemond,” you said with a teasing smile and he kissed you before nipping your lip lightly.

“Not that.”

Unable to tease him anymore, you gave into the adoring look on his face. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he said as you wiped his tears away and he placed his hand on your stomach. “And our child too.”

Aemond turned away at something someone must have said but when he returned his smile was tenser than before. “The King wishes to have a family banquet tonight, to celebrate the news.”

You stepped around Aemond so that you could see the King watching his youngest son and you touched your chin with your fingers to show your gratitude before bowing your head. Helaena had not stopped staring at you with a knowing grin and you returned it as Aemond curled his arm around your waist and you nuzzled into his side to look up at him.

“I was quite jealous, truth be told, when you snuck from our bed to visit my sister each morning,” Aemond said with a smirk. “But this is how you and my sister spent all those hours locked away together?”

You slapped his chest lightly at what he was inferring and rolled your eyes before parting your lips to speak, “It was for you.”

Aemond stood a little straighter, his shoulders back and his chest puffed. “I have never been prouder to call you my wife, mother of my child. You continue to surprise me, my love.”

Your lessons had not been so extensive and without seeing how some words were broken down to each sound they were harder to speak. Instead, your fingers danced and he watched them speak for you, I have to keep you on your toes.

With many pairs of eyes still intently watching you and your husband, he gave you a wink before returning his own signs that caused a heat to wash over your skin. 

Or you could keep me on my back.

Click here for part four.

Taglist: @sheetalkalkhandey , @hydrationqueensworld

[watchmegetobsessed]

JUST HOW FAST THE NIGHT CHANGES (part 5)

A/N: ahh we have reached the end!! thank you for coming with me on this journey, i hope you liked these high school sweethearts!

PAIRING: Harry x High-School-Best-Friend!Reader

WORD COUNT: 5k

SERIES MASTERPOST | SUPPORT ME!

“Are you okay? Are you hungry?”

“Harry, you’ve asked this like a million times in the past hour, I’m fine.”

You can’t hold back a chuckle as you pay with your water bottle’s cap. You feel quite out of place in the luxurious lounge you didn’t even know existed at the airport. You have only left Europe just once before and you did not fly with a private jet back then like you’re now. It’s a whole different world, Harry’s world that you now seem to be part of, though it’s gonna take a while to get used to it.

Maybe you shouldn’t. After all, this is all Harry’s, the attention, the money, the luxury, it’s all him, not you.

“I just want you to have a good time,” Harry mumbles beside you.

“I’m having a good time,” you assure him.

Things have been so different since the night he spent at your place. Waking up next to him was a whole new experience you knew you could get used to very quickly. Your feet were tangled together and he was lying so close to you, you could see every little freckle and blemish on his beautiful face. 

You spent a peaceful morning together, just making breakfast, drinking coffee and talking before he had to leave. Since then, you’ve been texting nonstop and even met a couple of times. Harry seems to be seeking every and any opportunity to see you and it’s hard, if not impossible to say no to him when he begs you to grab coffee with him when you’re on a break from work.

You’re falling for him. Seriously and undoubtedly. And it’s not a silly teenage crush anymore, the feelings you’re harboring for him are heavy and kind of scary. You still haven’t figured out how to deal with your own fears, the hurt from the past and the desire to be with Harry. 

For now, you’re trying your best to ignore these doubts and enjoy your impromptu trip to Palm Springs. 

This is your first real glimpse into Harry’s life. The jet, the hotel, the restaurants, it’s been all just like in the movies. You knew this was his reality, but living it through with him is a whole different story. 

You’ve been attached by the hip since the start of the trip, he’s been bringing you everywhere he could, though you still had some work to take care of, he tried his best to limit his meeting and work calls to those periods. 

Tonight is his first show out of the two birthday shows he is giving. It’s not officially his birthday yet, but you still want him to have a great day. So for a change, you take matters into your own hands. You started off with bringing breakfast to his bed, you woke up super early to catch him before his morning workout session, brought his pastries, fruits and coffee that you ate on his bed together before parting ways, only to reunite before lunch. 

You stay at the hotel restaurant, but you have the servers bring him out a cupcake with a candle on top to make it special.

“Y/N, my birthday is not until tomorrow,” he mumbles, but can’t tone down his goofy smile as he watches the light of the candle dance in front of him.

“You deserve a two day long birthday,” you chuckle. “Make a wish and blow out the candle,” you clap your hands in excitement.

He stares at you for a few moments before closing his eyes, thinking hard of his wish before blowing out the light quickly.

“Share it with me,” he says, pulling the candle out of the top and reaching for the butter knife he starts cutting it in half.

“Ah, no, I better not,” you shake your head, your chest tightening.

“Why?”

“I’m just… trying to… get in shape,” you say, feeling awkward that you have to say it out loud. It always makes you think of the comments Drew used to make on your appearance once you started putting on weight.

“In shape?” Harry asks, but still places half of the cupcake in front of you. “You’re in perfect shape, Y/N,” he says without even realizing how important the words are. 

You stare at him for a while, watching him lick some of the frosting off, oblivious how he just made your heart race in your chest. It’s been forever since a man made you feel good in your own skin. Drew made no effort to help you when your body started changing and when you gained all the weight you’re carrying now as well, he just worsened it with his spiteful comments about your looks. 

Now here’s Harry, who seems to be more than fine with your current looks and he just said your shape is perfect. And you finally believe it.

He looks up and finds you staring. “What? Did I say something wrong?” he asks, but you shake your head and before you could change your mind you lean closer and press a kiss to his cheek.

“No. You said the best thing. Now, let’s eat this cupcake,” you chuckle. 

In the afternoon, Harry spends some time in his room, relaxing before the show and you use this opportunity to do some work until it’s time to leave to the venue. You’ve been jumping from excitement inside, because this will be the first time you see him perform live. Of course you’ve searched up videos of him throughout the years, watched some of his performances, but you know those will never be the same as being there in person. 

It’s also your first experience being backstage at an event and it’s making you feel quite important, you have to admit. Harry hasn’t said anything, but you just know he noticed the child-like excitement in your eyes. 

You watch the soundcheck, walking around the arena he will fill up very soon with his screaming fans, but for now it’s just you. You sneak some videos of him, wanting to have physical memories of this moment and you’re so absorbed in the experience that you completely miss it when he snaps a picture of you as well from the stage, being his only audience. 

Once everything is set and done you mostly just chill backstage when they start to let the fans in, Harry does some of his usual rituals and you meet tons of new people, because he keeps introducing you to everyone. You don’t have the heart to tell him you stopped remembering all the names like thirty minutes ago, he seems so enthusiastic to show you around and tell people you’ve known each other since forever.

You’re hanging out in his dressing room, watching him get his hair done though it will be ruined minutes into the show and he also gets his nails done, which you have to admit is an amazing thing to see. A man, so comfortable in his masculinity that he just sits and watches someone paint his nails different colors. It’s something you never thought you’d find hot, but it definitely is.

When he’s not paying attention to you, you reach into your bag and look for the little gift box that’s hiding his birthday gift and you’re just about to give it to him once he’s done with his nails, but then some people from his crew come in and you’re quick to drop the box back into your bag. Maybe you’ll have a better moment after the show.

“So, where do you want to stand?” he asks, curling an arm around your shoulders as the two of you walk out of his dressing room when there’s not much left until start. 

“Can I go out?”

“To the pit? Yeah, sure,” he nods. “You want the fan experience?” he smirks down at you.

“That’s the real thing, right?”

“You should have made a sign then.”

“Who said I didn’t?” you tease him, making him laugh. “Well, I didn’t, but I might steal someone’s sign.”

“I’ll be looking out for it then.”

He soon has to leave your side to get under the stage. You watch him climb into his little box and you think it’s the funniest thing you’ve seen, you even snap a picture of him before it’s closed and he gets rolled out under the stage. 

Until the start you stay with Jeff and when it’s time he walks you out to a secluded area in the pit, right on time to witness the opening of the show. 

You knew he is truly in his element on stage, but seeing it with your own eyes is a whole different experience. It’s like a different version of him, yet you know it’s the same Harry. Everything he tends to hold back in his everydays he lets loose the moment he sets his feet on the stage. He’s breathtaking, the singing, the moves, the interactions, it all feels like magic and your heart is full every time you see him laugh up there.

“Okay, give me a minute, I’m looking for someone down there,” he speaks into the microphone as he is walking to the wing of the stage that’s closer to you and you already know you’re about to be in the center of the attention.

“Oh shit,” you shake your head and Jeff laughs beside you.

“Are you surprised?” he asks.

“Not really,” you sigh, just when Harry’s gaze lands on you.

“There you are!” he points at you, the fans start screaming as he stops at the edge of the stage. “Y/N, you promised me a sign, but I don’t see anything,” he scolds you, making you laugh as you bury your face in your hands. “Y/N is an old friend of mine, everyone, and tonight is the first time she is seeing me performing!”

The cheering washes over the arena as you feel the heat crawling up your neck and cheeks. 

“How do you like the show so far, Y/N? Enjoying yourself?”

“It’s good!” you hold your thumbs up, which earns you a round of applause and a cocky grin from Harry.

“Okay, cool, but I’m still waiting for a sign from you.”

“Maybe tomorrow!” you laugh and Harry joins in as he walks away, carrying the show on. 

By the end of the concert you’re jumping around and singing like the fans around you, having the time of your life. You catch Harry’s eyes on you several times and he can’t hold his own smile back every time he sees you. 

Jeff walks you backstage when the show is over, everyone is buzzing and you’re bummed it’s over but you’re glad you can watch it all over again tomorrow. When you reach his dressing room you hesitate, not sure whether he needs some time alone after such a long show or not, but at last you decide to knock on his door. It flies open moments later and he’s there, still wearing his concert outfit, a cheesy grin plastered across his face. 

“So, how did you like it?” he asks as he pulls you into the room, shutting the door closed.

“It was fantastic,” you smile at him, heart full of pride. “I never knew someone could be this good of a performer.”

“Aw, you’re gonna make me blush,” he grins, but you know how much he is enjoying the compliments. 

Looking around you make sure you’re alone and you decide it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for.

“I have something for you.”

Harry watches you with curiosity as you dig into your bag and grab the little box again. Your heart is hammering in your chest, you really don’t want him to think your gift is stupid or childish. It’s nothing fancy, he has probably gotten gifts that cost a fortune, but this one is not one of those. You can only hope he’ll find it just as special as you do.

“I know your birthday is only tomorrow, but I want to be early and give this to you. Happy Birthday.”

You hand him the box that he takes as if it was the most delicate thing he’s ever touched. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Y/N,” he smiles baskfully as he unties the thin ribbon on top of the box.

“It’s nothing big or extreme, just…  a little something.” You’re rubbing your hands together nervously as you watch him take the lid off and finally lay his eyes on the gift.

You made him another bracelet, to replace the one that was ruined all this time ago. It looks a tad bit cooler than the original one that you made out of the most random beads. This time you looked for special, one of a kind beads to make the bracelet and you think it suits his style and personality perfectly. 

“I just thought that you could have a new one, it’s a little more sophisticated than the previous one. Y-You don’t have to wear it, of course, I just–”

“I love it, Y/N, and I will be wearing it all the time,” he cuts you off, putting it on instantly before taking a closer look at it.

“You like it?” you ask quietly.

“No, I said I love it and I really do,” he corrects you. “Thank you so much.”

Before you could even get a word out he wraps you up in his tight embrace, his scent fills up your nose as your face is pressed against the base of his neck.

He has always been great at giving hugs, he uses almost his whole body and wraps you up in a way that makes you want to stay in his arms forever and it hasn’t changed a bit. You gladly circle your arms around his waist and hold onto him, melting against his warmth, giving yourself over to the feeling of being swallowed by Harry’s love and appreciation. 

At one point one of his hands comes up to the back of your head, fingers lacing through your hair as he is still hugging you with just as much strength as a minute ago and it seems like he is not planning to let you go anytime soon. 

“Y/N, you are…” he speaks up softly, but his words turn into an exhale you feel against your shoulder and a shudder runs down your spine. You wait and wait and then he finally speaks up again. “You are everything to me.”

Your heart grows three times bigger at his words, makes you feel like it’s about to burst out of your chest and right into Harry’s hands. As much as you want to keep hugging him, preferably forever, you know you need to see his face now. Mustering up all your will you pull back just enough to look into those breathtaking green irises and you see so much and even beyond that in them. You see your and his past self, your future, a life you could have if he never left and the one you’re possibly on the verge of.

And you love all of them. You love everything about him, every thought, every memory, every possibility you’re gonna face together.

“Harry…” you breathe out when his face is so close, your noses are almost brushing together. 

“Yeah?” he whispers, just when his eyes slip down to your lips. 

“What are we doing?”

“Whatever you want to do, Y/N.”

You almost whine at his answer, practically ready to beg him to never leave your side, but you manage to keep some of your dignity.

Taking a deep breath you close your eyes and try to think straight, because you know this is a moment there’s no going back from, but you need to make sure you’re fully ready for all of it. Harry doesn’t rush you, instead, he rests his forehead against yours and cups your cheek in one hand while the other one remains on your waist. 

The teenage girl in you is screaming right now, demanding to give your all to him, but the Y/N that went through the past through years is scared, because it’s pretty much a free fall into something that could potentially break your heart and that would be deadly this time.

“If I do this, I’ll give my all to you, Harry,” you say as a warning, but you’re also silently begging for him to be the change you need in your life probably more than anything.

“Y/N, I would take whatever you have for me, even if it’s the smallest crumble. And if I get to have all of you… God, that would be absolute heaven,” he chuckles, nuzzling his nose against your playfully. 

“So it’s not just a momentary thing, right?” you ask, holding onto the last bits of your self control before you let yourself fall completely.

“Momentary? I’ve… I’ve loved you since I was twelve, probably. My feelings for you are the least momentary thing in my life,” he breathes out the words as if he was in immense pain and you can feel the last string snapping before you push forward and your lips meet his.

Or maybe he is the first one to move, it’s hard to tell once your lips melt together and you kiss like there’s no tomorrow. You’ve never experienced a passion like this, the need to get closer and closer even when you’ve basically become one takes over your body, your mind is blank, Harry occupies all your thoughts, the way he is touching, you, his scent, the little noises he makes when you gently bite onto his bottom lip… You never thought kissing could bring this much excitement and passion.

It’s messy but simply perfect, Harry is pushing forward making you inch backwards and you bump into a chair somewhere in the way, which makes both of you laugh before you return to the demanding kisses. You memorize the way his hair feels between your fingers as you comb through them, how his fingers dig into your waist as he keeps you tight against him, the way his thigh ends up between your legs at one moment and your body moves against your will, grinding against him. 

Maybe you would have gone even further, but there’s a loud crash somewhere outside the room that breaks your little bubble and makes you realize you’re still in his dressing room and someone could walk in any moment.

Not too willingly, but you come to a stop slowly, your forehead resting against his as you try to calm your breathing. Harry goes in for a few more soft pecks on your lips and nose before he finally forces him to pull back.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower and then we can leave,” he murmurs, playfully nuzzling his nose against yours.

“Okay. I’ll be here.”

Harry nods and his arms fall from around you, already making you miss his touch as he disappears in the bathroom. 

You send out a few emails in the meantime and when Harry emits from the steamy bathroom in a pair of sweatpants and a simple white shirt, you’re ready to leave. He gathers his stuff quickly, throwing his Pleasing tote bag over one shoulder and he reaches for your hand, taking it gently before pulling you towards the door.

You walk out of the building hand in hand and suddenly you feel like a teenager again who is holding hands with a boy for the first time. But for god’s sake, you’ve been married before! What is happening to you?!

Harry is driving on the way back to the hotel and when he places a hand on your thigh over the console you almost start giggling, but you manage to keep a somewhat straight face. When you arrive he takes your hand again and as you step into the elevator, just the two of you luckily, he wastes no time to pull you into his arms and kiss you again, finally. 

“Spend the night with me,” he mumbles against your lips and you involuntarily stiffen for a moment. You’ve been yearning for him forever but you don’t want to jump into things too fast, you need some time to think and process.

Harry notices the change in you instantly.

“We don’t have to do anything, I just want to fall asleep and wake up next to you.”

“Okay,” you whisper when the elevator comes to a stop and the door slides open. “I need to grab a few things though.”

“Sure. Just come over whenever you’re done,” he nods, presses a kiss to your forehead and you part ways, going into your separate rooms for now.

You run around the room in a frenzy, you shower and do a quick shaving session even though you truly don’t plan to have sex just yet, but still, you want to be smooth. Then get dressed in a pair of cotton shorts and your sleeping shirt before heading over to Harry’s room. You barely just knock on the door and it flies open instantly, Harry pulls you inside and kisses you like he hasn’t seen you in ages when in reality it’s been only twenty minutes.

“You smell so good,” he hums, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck as he walks you over to the bed, unable to keep his hands off you.

“I just showered,” you chuckle at the tickling feeling of his breath on your skin. 

He kisses you some more before pulling back and approaching the mini bar.

“Do you want something?”

“Just maybe some water, thank you.”

He hands you over the bottle and he chooses to drink some orange juice. You make yourself comfortable on his bed, set your phone on the nightstand and watch him move around the room, throwing some of his stuff into his suitcase before he joins you on the mattress. 

Now that you’re settled it all dawns on you, the kiss, the things you both said and you realize you need to talk it out to make sure you’re heading in the same direction.

“So… That happened,” you say, nervously fumbling with the covers, but you realize how awkward it sounded the moment the words leave your mouth. Harry chuckles as he runs a hand through his hair.

“It definitely did. How do you feel about it?”

“I’m… nervous. But also… excited?”

“Is that a question?” he smirks cheekily.

“No. I am excited.”

“Good. Because I’m fucking ecstatic about it.”

“Really?” you smile sheepishly, resting your head in one hand as you lean onto your elbow on your side.

“Thought it was pretty obvious when I confessed to you earlier. I want whatever you have for me, Y/N. Truly.”

“So… we’re gonna do this? We’re… together?”

“Is that what you want?”

You take a moment to think about it, though your answer is already clear. 

“Yes,” you nod. Harry scoots closer and kisses you softly.

“Then yes. We are.”

“How are we going to do it? I mean… I can’t always just travel with you, I need to return home at one point.”

“We’ll figure it out. Don’t stress about it.” He traces the side of your face before cupping your cheek gently. “I’ve wanted this for so long, I will do anything to make it work.”

“Isn’t it crazy that we both had feelings all these years ago and… it only happened now?”

“Wait, you had feelings too? When we were young?”

“Thought it was obvious,” you shrug with a shy smile.

“Not really,” he chuckles. “Damn, I could have just made a move on you back then and we would have been together since then?”

“Maybe the timing would have been wrong. I think things happened this way for a reason. We had to go over all of this to reach this point.”

“You mean we had to stop talking and meet all those wrong people? I feel like I could have been fine without that,” he sighs, his hand resting on your waist as you lie facing each other. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“You don’t have to answer, but… I noticed that your whole relationship with your ex was very… private. I didn’t even know you got married let alone had a divorce.”

“Were you spying on me?” you tease him and you notice the pink shade on his cheeks as he shrugs.

“Maybe.”

Deep down you kind of knew this would come up at one point, but you didn’t think it would happen so early. You had plenty of time to think about why you never felt the urge to show off your relationship with Drew and you always knew one thing for sure that contributed to the end of it as well along with the terrible happenings.

“You’re gonna think I’m insane,” you whisper, scrunching your nose as you pull your legs up.

“I’m sure I won’t. I could never judge you.”

Chewing on your bottom lip you muster up the courage to tell him the truth.

“I loved Drew but part of me always knew it wasn’t meant to be, I just ignored my instinct. There was this voice in the back of my head every time we reached a milestone and I tried not to listen to it, but it lingered there and it had an effect on my acts either way.”

“What was it saying?”

“That he was not you.”

Your confession seems to catch him by surprise, leaving him stunned and you wonder what’s going on in his head.

“I inevitably kept comparing him to you or… the idea I had of you. I always knew my feelings for Drew were nothing like the ones I felt for you, but I told myself it was silly, because at that point we weren’t even talking. But it didn’t feel right. That part of me always wanted to be with you and I kept my relationship to myself because it simply didn’t feel right in a sense. It should have been a red flag, I shouldn’t have stayed with him, but I didn’t think I would ever see you again and I was afraid of ending up alone so I just… put up with what I had.”

It’s probably the very first time you’ve ever said it out loud, it’s been a secret you kept buried deep down in your chest, but you feel like with Harry you can share anything. 

“Do you… Do you think it’s crazy?” you ask, not entirely sure what he is thinking but the fact that he hasn’t moved away from you is definitely promising.

“Crazy? There’s nothing crazy about this, Y/N. If anything, it’s making me happy,” he smiles softly.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Because I can absolutely relate to these feelings and thoughts. I felt like I was searching for you all my life, the way you made me feel… nothing compared to that.”

You’re on the verge of crying, hearing that your feelings have always been mutual is like a piece you missed all your life, but now he’s made you complete. 

With wobbling lips you scoot closer until you can wrap your arms around his neck and he doesn’t hesitate before locking you in his embrace.

“Don’t cry, this is a happy moment, isn’t it?” he asks with an airy laugh as he holds you tight. 

“It’s a happy cry,” you admit as tears start rolling down your cheeks, melting into his shirt. “God, I missed you. I missed all of you, all the time! I hated it when everything changed overnight and you weren’t here, but I’m so happy you’re here.”

The words are flowing out of you uncontrollably, but you don’t mind it, this is the moment when you know you can let it all out. 

“I’m here to stay. Forever. I’m never letting go of you,” he whispers and holds you in his arms until you both fall asleep.

And in the morning you finally face the start of the life you’re spending together. 

WEDDING SEASON IN STYLE

Harry Styles is kicking off the summer wedding season in style with his lovely girlfriend by his side. The singer was spotted at a high school friend’s wedding this weekend in the English countryside, having a blast at the party after the ceremony. A series of photos have surfaced of the special occasion where we can see the As It Was singer supporting his friends at the ceremony wearing a creamy colored suit with a baby blue shirt underneath, his pearl necklace spicing the fit up that coordinated perfectly with his girlfriend’s dress of the same shade of blue. 

The pair is known to make a habit out of color coordinating their outfits, they have proven to be the perfect match before on casual outings and their first official debut as a couple on the red carpet at the Grammy’s earlier this year. It is unknown how long they’ve been together, but devoted fans have pointed out they have known each other from before Styles’ X-Factor days. In the past few months they have been spotted together several times in different cities while Styles is on tour and the latest photos are proof of how happy they really are.

They were photographed slow dancing, goofing around with their other friends and mingling with guests, of course, holding hands the whole time. A source close to the pair has said earlier that the lovebirds are practically glued together, kind of in a honeymoon phase and the singer is trying his best to navigate his life on tour with his lover’s life back home in London. They are said to be devoted to the blossoming relationship and everything that has surfaced about them just proved how happy they are. Maybe soon enough it will be their own wedding they will be attending? The fans’ reactions have been mixed, but mostly positive, especially because it’s obvious the singer seems to be in his best shape and mood in the past months. 

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Y/N Y/L/N holds up funny sign at boyfriend Harry Styles’ latest concert

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[jellyfishbeansontoast]

Missed you

steve harrington x reader warnings: reader suffering from period pains

“Come with me” he pouts, your hand is clasped in his at a feeble attempt on his part to drag you out of bed. “Is it because of my friends, they’ll love you I promise” his face is one of genuine concern. 

“Steve,” you ruffle your free hand through his hair messing it up, he scrunches his nose up in protest, “most of your friends are fifteen.”

“Not true!” his hand flys to his heart, feigning hurt. 

“Go without me, I’m tired” pulling the covers up to underneath your chin.

“Fine, but I’m coming back earlier.”

You watch him fix his hair that you’d messed up before he leaves, not without giving you a parting kiss first. You wish you were only just tired, but the cramps that have inhabited your body since the morning are almost unbearable. You roll out of the bed, taking a blanket with you and wrapping it around your shoulder, slowly walking towards the bathroom. If anyone else had been in the room they would’ve seen a hunched up figure with a blanket trailing behind them. The only thing that seems to make your cramps feel a little bit better is lying on the cold bathroom floor. The tiles are a relief against your skin, clammy from pain. You pull your legs protectively into your stomach and let your eyes fall shut.

“Y/n?” Steve’s hand is warm on your forehead as he checks you over for any sign of injury or illness. “Did you faint? Why are you on the floor?” His questions are endless.

“Just my period” you mumble, gazing up at him through half lidded eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you instantly regret not telling him, his face is a mix of hurt and concern, he’s not angry at you he just wishes you would have told him so he could help. 

You shrug your shoulders despite the numbing ache from the hard floor, “I didn’t want to worry you.”

He scoffs, “Don’t be silly baby.” He pulls you up off the floor, your head resting comfortably on his shoulder, his hair tickling your forehead occasionally. Laying you down on the bed he tucks you up in the blanket previously wrapped around you like a burrito and presses a kiss to your forehead, “I’ll be back in a minute.” 

The minute feels like the longest minute ever but he eventually returns, a tray full of items in his arms. He sits cross legged on the bed next to you, still in the outfit he went to the party in, and begins pitching the items to you like a sales assistant. “Can I interest you in a large chocolate bar accompanied by a teddy bear and some painkillers,” he places the chocolate in your outstretched hand and tucks the bear in next to you, “I also have a glass of water and cuddles from me.”

“The last option.” You pull the covers over your head, embarrassed.

He removes the tray and moves away quickly changing into some pyjamas, you not so subtly peek out from under the covers during. He slides into bed next to you, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you into his chest. 

“Missed you”

“I was gone two minutes.”

“Two minutes too many”

“Didn't you at least enjoy the view" You’re sure you turn into a furnace as you feel the heat rise up your neck, you cover your eyes with your hands. He removes your hands gently, placing a small kiss on your nose during the process, “Peek anytime you want baby.”

[peachbottom]

Emergency Contact

Authors Note: Hi, this is my first fic please be nice, but give me some feedback. I hope you enjoy <3 I’m dyslexic sorry I’m sure there are mistakes with spelling and grammar I didn’t see.

Summary: When you are really bad at taking your birth control so you decide to surprise Bucky with an iud, but it doesn’t go very well.

Warnings: implied smut, nudity, talk of iud, talk of intimate themes, “ass” said like once, (y/n) used one time (please let me know if I missed anything thank you)

——————————————————————————

You feel the back of your knees hit the bed frame. While still maintaining the connection between you and Bucky you fall back into the bed. You land with a soft thud, Bucky catching himself with the hand that was resting on the nape of your neck. As he hovers above you you can see the dark lust in his eyes mixed with pure adoration. He gives you a soft smile as his other hand moves from the back of your head to your hip, tracing small circles with his thumb on the soft skin.

You’re both are naked after stripping off each others clothes on the way to the bedroom right after Bucky got home from a mission. He had been gone for two weeks, you missed him in all kinds of ways. From his smell, to his touch, his sweet words and warm hugs, but at the moment the thing you missed the most was the feeling of him inside you.

As bucky looked down at you for permission and you wished he would just hurry up already, missing the feeling of connection it brought you.

“Did you take your birth control or do I need a condom?” He asked in a very sweet tone

Oh. This again. You hated that you had to use condoms with Bucky, you were both clean and committed to only one another but you weren’t ready for kids yet. You had talked about it when you started dating, you both decided you were going to try not to get pregnant, so you started taking birth control pills.

“I’m sorry I forgot again, I really tried to remember”, you blurt out anxiously with a shameful look on your face.

Bucky knew you were bad at remembering to take your birth control on time, or even just taking it at all. He had gotten in the habit of asking you if he needed to get a condom or not, the answer always being yes. But he knew you were trying to be consistent, so he would always ask just incase one day the answer changed.

“Hey it’s okay bunny, no big deal. Just give me a second to get a condom, I’ll be right back”

He placed a kiss on your forehead and got up walking into the bathroom. You look over it the birth control packet on your nightstand, some days still having pills, some were taken but not consistently. You felt like a disappointment to your boyfriend, like you were being selfish because you make him wear a condom during sex even though you knew it would feel better for him without it.

…

That night after you and Bucky finished your “activities”, you thought about what you could do to make it up to Buck. You knew he said he didn’t mind, and he really did mean it, but you still couldn’t help but feel selfish.

You couldn’t sleep. You really couldn’t get the idea out of your head, there had to be some way you could do this for Bucky. You clearly were not going to be able to take birth control pills effectively, but maybe something else could work. So while Bucky was asleep next to you with his head on your chest and arms around your belly, you picked up your phone and looked up some possible ways to ditch the condoms for good.

You came across a girl online who was in a similar situation, she also wanted to be able to have bare sex with her boyfriend. Her solution was to get an iud, it was long term and you didn’t have to do anything with it besides get it put in and taken out. They were supposed to be really effective and that way you wouldn’t have to worry about taking birth control everyday.

You decided to get the iud and not tell Bucky until after the period of time you had to wait after getting it, so you could surprise him. You really wanted to do this for him, to show him how much you trusted and loved him. You wanted to make things feel better for him, and you too wanted to feel that connection with him without anything in the way.

…

The day of your appointment you woke up to an empty bed, bucky had already left for the gym with Steve. You roll over to check your phone and see a text from Bucky,

Bucky: Good Morning bunny, at the gym should be home soon didn’t want to wake you when I left

You text him back, smiling at how thoughtful he is

You: Morning baby ❤️ love you, see you soon.

You get up to get showered and dressed, you pick out comfy clothes and head over to the bathroom you and bucky share. You place your clothes on the counter and start the shower, nice and cool to hopefully wake you up a bit. You didn’t take too long because your nervous and couldn’t fully relax into the shower like you normally do. You get out of the shower and quickly dry off and get dressed.

You plop down onto the couch in the living room, scrolling through your phone to kill some time. Though it only seemed like 20 minutes it was actually closer to an hour. Now running late, you rush out the door with your purse, keys, phone and grab one of Bucky’s hoodies that was sitting by the front door.

On your way down to the street you call for a car, living in the city had its perks but the speed of public transportation was definitely not one. While on your phone you see a message from Nat

Nat: Call if you need me😊

She was the only person you told about this whole situation. You didn’t like sharing intimate details of yours and Bucky’s relationship but you wanted advice and support, and you trusted Nat.

You find your car waiting outside your building, give the driver the address and you are on your way.

…

Once at the doctors office it starts to sink in how nervous you are, you have heard horrible things about how much an iud hurts or how terrible the effects are. While sitting in the lobby waiting to hear your name called you try to distract yourself on your phone

Bucky: Where did you say you were going today? Some doctor?

You see Bucky’s message come through and decide not to give him too much detail.

You: Yeah just a check up thing, should be home soon😘

Hopefully now he won’t worry or ask any questions, he was always protective and you know how much he worries over you.

Finally you hear your name called and follow the nurse to the room. She checks your information and has you go to the bathroom to take a pregnancy test for protocol. Thankfully it was negative, though a baby Bucky wouldn’t be the worst thing now was not the right time. Once you are settled in the exam room the nurse asks you to undress from the waist down and cover up with the glorified paper towel they give you as a modesty sheet. You smile and give a polite thank you, after the nurse steps out you undress and wait nervously for your doctor.

After a few minutes your doctor steps in, thankfully her friendly personality is soothing. She asks if you have any questions and walks you through the procedure. But only one thing was on your mind

“Will it hurt, I’ve heard it’s pretty painful”

“I won’t lie, it’s not comfortable. But it will just feel like big cramps and then you should be fine.”

You know that’s just doctors way of saying yes but trying not to scare you.

You are told to lie back and get into the correct position for the insertion process. You still get embarrassed being so exposed like this in front of people, even Bulcky sometimes, but this is your doctor so you just push the fear away and focus on your breathing.

Your doctor talks you through the process step by step, starting off with a normal routine exam. Taking deep breaths is supposed to help but once your doctor gets ready and uses the clamp to hold your cervix in place you could care less about your breathing. It feels like something hole punched your insides. You don’t make much of a noise just some pained faces.

“Are you doing okay?”

All you could manage in response was a grunt

“This is the next big cramp, take some deep breaths”

She inserts the first tool, to measure how far the device should go in. You try your best to breathe but it’s useless, your body starts to heat up, your hearing goes fuzzy and you get very nauseous.

“Almost done just one more thing to do”

As she inserted the actual iud you swear you were send to hell and back. You felt dizzy, nauseous and hot all over. You saw stars and started to sweat profusely as all your senses started to fade.

You hear her saying something but you aren’t sure what. The pain was so extreme and sharp but radiated in a numb wave throughout your body. It felt like the worst period cramp you have ever had but 10 times worse. The intensity was persistent even as the sharpness started to fade.

Your doctor was done at this point just working on putting you in more comfortable position. The nurse in the room could see how pale and clammy you were. She made her way over to your side and started to recline the bed more.

“Just breathe, what do you need, water, ice, pain medication?”

You just mumble in response,

“I’m gonna be sick”

She was quick to grab the trash before you got sick, it only making the feeling worse. Once you let out all you had in you, you lay back down. Your doctor now bringing you water and an ice pack. You very slowly sip the water and place the ice on your neck. You still can’t hear all too well, everything was fuzzy. You hear the nurse asking you something, you weren’t able to focus enough to fully understand what it is she was asking, you just nod and hum in agreement.

…

“Hello? Is this Mr Barnes?”

“Yes, may I ask whom I am speaking with”

“This is y/n’s gynecologists office, we are calling because you are listed as her emergency contact.”

At that moment his heart started racing

“She is okay, but she had a bit of a difficult reaction to getting an iud inserted today”

“A what, what does that mean?”

“It a intrauterine birth control implant. She’s just very nauseous and in pain and we think it’s best if she had someone to come pick her up”

“Yeah, yeah I’ll be right there. Thank you”

“Of course Mr Barnes, I’ll see you soon.”

…

Once you come to a bit more and are out of your state of half conciseness the nurse places her hand on your arm to get your attention

“We just called your emergency contact to pick you up, you still don’t look so good yet just lay back until he gets here”

He!? He!? As in Bucky!? Oh great you forgot Bucky was your emergency contact. Now you have to explain this all while also trying to keep him from worrying. At this point you realize the doctor had left the room and the nurse was just stepping out. You do just lay back until he gets there because if you get up you just know you will pass out.

You know Bucky is there when you hear his deep voice outside the door talking to the nurse. He seems to be okay but you still aren’t fully recovered from your reaction to the iud. Who knew a little piece of plastic could knock you on your ass so hard.

Bucky opens the door to see you laying on the table covered by that sad excuse for a sheet. He softly shuts the door before walking towards you.

“What’s all this about doll? You had me worried, are you okay?”

He says in a soft caring voice

You give him a half smile because that’s all you can muster up, and a quiet

“Yeah I’m good”

He smiles back subtly, placing his hand in yours and rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

“How about we get you dressed and go home”

You nod in agreement and try to sit up, but then nod off and sway to your left, right into bucky. He’s quick to catch you and lay you back down.

“How about I just get you your stuff and you stay right there.”

You laugh a bit and point to your folded stack of clothes in the corner on a chair. He walks over and picks up your underwear and sweatpants along with your shoes that were kicked off to the side. He sets the clothes on the bed next to you and helps you remove the paper sheet off your lap. You make sure to keep your legs closed, feeling slightly embarrassed with Bucky seeing you like this right after something so uncomfortable happened. He doesn’t say anything about your reaction instead just picks up one foot at a time and pulls your underwear up to your knees where you reach out to imply you can pull them up the rest of the way. He goes to pick up your sweatpants next.

“How are you feeling?”

You nod and go to pull up your pants the same way, from your knees.

“Nauseous, dizzy, in pain.”

You say quietly out of embarrassment. You were expecting more questions but he just helped you get dressed and put in your shoes. Then he walks up next to you and helps you sit up slowly, very gentle with your aching body.

“There you go. Now take a breath and then let’s try and stand in a second, okay.”

You agree and then he does exactly that, he supports your back and holds your hand to help you stand up, he’s always close enough incase you need him. You stand for a second and then shake your head a little bit to let him know you are good. He lets go of you and grabs your purse and sweatshirt you had hanging on the back of the door. He turns around to you and helps pull the sweatshirt over your head, remembering how cold your skin felt when he was helping you get on your pants.

“Thank you”

You say as you take your bag from his hand and press a gently kiss to his cheek. He offers a soft smile in response. He then takes your hand and walks you out of the room and into the lobby.

In the parking lot he walks you over to his car and opens the passenger door of his truck. He helps you get in making sure you are safe and okay before he closes the door and walks around the truck to the drivers seat. Once he’s in and buckled he checks in with you one more time before driving off

He didn’t say anything the car ride home, just offered to stop and get you something on the way home if you needed it and played some soft music in the background. You could feel yourself start to bleed and got scared about it getting on the car’s seat. But you were almost home so you didn’t say anything. Bucky put the car in park and got out to help you, but by the time he got around the car you were already stepping out of the truck. He was fast to put out a hand to help you but you didn’t need it. Bucky followed very close behind you all the way up to your shared apartment. You were feeling much better but still in pain and kind of dizzy.

“Slow down please, I’m worried your going to pass out on me here”

He says with a tinge of humor in his voice. You step into the elevator where you turn into him and whisper into his neck

“I’m bleeding, I want to get to the bathroom”

He pulls away concerned, looking at you as if to confirm you meant bleeding from where he thought you meant. You nod softly and look down at your feet to avoid any further questions. You were already embarrassed as it was, knowing you would have to talk about this whole situation soon enough.

You didn’t want Bucky thinking you were hiding things from him, but you were also embarrassed in general because you knew you would have to talk about topics that aren’t the most comfortable to talk about. The doors open and you walk to your shared apartment door, unlock it, drop your stuff, and rush off to the bathroom. Bucky is close to follow, having questions; most importantly, were you okay.

You get to the bathroom, shut the door and sit on the toilet. You look down to see blood in your underwear, you knew this could happen, your doctor went over it all but still scared you a tiny bit. You decided a shower would be the best thing right now but standing for that long sounds awful so maybe a bath. You step out of the bathroom to collect clothes and towels and you see Bucky sitting on the bed on his phone. He looks up and puts it down.

“I looked it up and it says it’s normal to bleed after an iud as long as it’s not a lot, is it a lot, are you okay?”

You walkover to him and give him a hug

“I’m okay it’s not bad, I’m sorry”

“Sorry? For what, baby?”

“For all of this, for them having to call you and you having to pick me up. Because I didn’t tell you I was doing it and for probably making you worry.”

You pull your head off his chest and look up at him

“And now your being so sweet and I’m sure you have questions but you have been so patient with me, i’m sorry”

“Oh honey, no don’t be sorry. It’s okay, it’s fine i promise. How about we get you in the bath or something and we can talk.”

You think for a second, a bath would mean getting naked, not like you haven’t been naked in front of him before but right now it feels so vulnerable.

“Only if you get in the bath with me”

“If that’s what you want princess”

You get into the bath together, with you laying on his chest. You feel very crampy and you don’t want to move but the hot water is helping.

“Can I ask you some questions, baby?”

This was the moment you feared but you just answered with a small yes.

“When I got a call from the office saying you needed to be picked up because you were having a hard time after getting an iud, I was confused why you got it that if you already take the pill.”

He looked down at you and waited patiently for you to formulate an answer, rubbing a hand up and down your back the entire time.

“Well you know I’m really bad at taking that everyday, this way is really effective and that way we could-“

You cut yourself off before you could embarrass yourself further

“We could what, bub?”

“Well I don’t know, I was thinking then maybe we wouldn’t have to use condoms anymore. I mean I know guys don’t like having to use them, and I didn’t want you to feel like I’m making you use them or not because obviously it’s your body and I want our sex life to be your choice too. And I want you to know I trust you and i love you and I wanted to feel that. I don’t know maybe it was stupid and I’m making things worse.”

He waited patiently for you to finish your nervous ramble, only speaking when you were done and ready to hear him.

“Honey calm down, first, I don’t feel pressured into anything and I do it because I love you and being with you intimately in any way is a privilege. I feel honored you share your body with me in anyway, and I hope you know that. Second, i would love to feel that with you but you don’t have to put yourself in pain just so we can have raw sex. Nothing is worth you being in pain. And the last thing is I know you love and trust me, because I love and trust you too.”

You blush a little at his words.

“So you’re not upset I didn’t tell you about this?”

“Well I’m not going lie, I wish you would have told me so I could have been there for you but anything you do to your body is your choice.”

All of the sudden a sharp pain was born in your lower stomach and bloomed like a flower from hell throughout your body. You hissed and Bucky wrapped his arms around you to provide some type of comfort in a situation where you needed all you could get. As the worst of it passed you leaned down and placed a gently kiss on his arm as a thank you.

“Let’s get you dressed in something warm and dry.”

When they get out of the tub Bucky wraps you in a fluffy towel and leads you into the room where he has you sit on the bed. He searches through his dresser and yours to find a pair of your underwear and a baggy shirt of his. He repeats what he did at the doctors office earlier and gets you dressed for a nap. Once dressed he helps you get under the fluffy blankets on the bed. He gets himself settled and dressed, to then slide into bed where he grabs you and kisses your forehead.

“I love you bunny. Take a nap I’ll be here when you wake up”

And that’s what you do, while he holds you and rubs your stomach when you start to move around too much. He truly does love you, and all he can hope is that you made this choice for yourself and didn’t feel pressured to do it for him. And you sleep peacefully knowing you will wake up in the arms of the love of your life.

——————————————————————————

Masterlist

[malavera]

(18+) I'll show you how I am yours — Tom Cruise

summary: you're being emotional because it's that time of the month, Tom had to assure you for the millionth times that he's not going anywhere. To seal the deal just to convince you, he shows you how he's devoted to you and only you.

warnings: lil bit of fluff & angst, age gap (25/59), mature content, allusions to period sex, daddykink.

tagging: @tomsf18 @helloitstsyu @moondustfairies @deanscroissant @katherineswritingsblog @elenavampire21 @gypsymoon548 @love2write2626

We all know each month, a woman does not stay sane the same. The pre-menstrual mood swings would comes in various ways. We are all familiar with the Obsessive thoughts, easily irritated to feeling guilty and most importantly very self-critical. Your beloved has dealt with all kinds of moods and symptoms that you projects every month. But, he never complains. In fact, he lets you be however your mood wants you to be. When you said you wanted to be alone, although you made it clear after you snapped at him that you wanted him to leave you be—he would. But, it’s not like what you fear. He would close the door, lean against the wall besides it and wait for at least 5-10 minutes or more, for you to cool down—then he’d walk back in either with a cup of tea or bringing up your favorite sweets.

He’s different from the last two guys you dated. Because when it’s your time of the month, they’d never take you serious. They’d never wanted to take care of you, all they would do is complain on why couldn't you control it, why do you choose to snap at him, why are you so angry all the time and always ends up with a fight. That’s why you’re always insecure and afraid when the time has come, how would your new beloved react to you getting through all of these crazy hormones.

Sighing, you tighten your grip around his torso, snuggling your cheeks more to his chest. A negative thought has occurred, being a woman comes with so many fears towards man. What if it’s all just a façade?

“Tommy,”

“Yes, darling?”

“Do you think I’m pretty?” Tom scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, a small smile displayed on his face, turning his attention from the TV to look down at you.

“What do you mean? Of course you are beautiful, baby.” He replied with a kiss on your forehead.

“Why did you chose me?”

“Don’t you find me irritating sometimes?”

“Do you ever find me irritating?”

“Is there anything that I should change?”

“Out of all people, why did you choose me?”

"Would you ever leave me if you find anything that doesn't suits you?"

“Do you really love me?”

In all honesty, listening to all of your insecure questions due to your obsessive thoughts, aches his heart. Tom concludes that you have abandonment issues. Which breaks his heart not because he doesn't want you around, but it's because how easily you belittle yourself sometimes when you became his partner. He's glad that he found you, but he's not a jerk, he wished that you would've loved yourself more than you love anybody else.

"I'm sorry, do you think I'm annoying for talking too much?"

"I'm sorry if I would snap at you in any time of day later today, I wouldn't mean to. It's the hormones you know?"

Tom sighs with a warm smile on his face, he gestured for you to sat up and lean against the pillows, his arm placed behind your shoulders.

"Baby, listen to me... You don't have anything to be sorry for, okay? I understand. No, you could never irritate me. No, I would never find you irritating. No, there isn't a thing I want you to change, you're perfect in your own way." He gently spoke, his knuckles moving a strand of your hair out of your face.

"I chose you, because I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You're a good woman, you have a good heart. Yes, you may be tough at some time or place and you'd stand on your ground when it comes to your principles, but I respect that. I love you." Your lips tremble, the tears forming in your eyes almost blurred your vision as you are moved listening to the wonderful speech he said about you.

"You would never leave me, right Tommy?" You muttered.

"I would never. Because you're mine, and let me show you how I am yours."

And with that, his soft lips connected with yours—pulling you to sit across his lap gently without hurting you as your body is fragile during your period. His big and calloused hands caressing your sides, feeling the soft fabric of your baby pink tank top sending you shivers down your spine as the actions gives your brain ideas on what could those hands do. Just by thinking about it, sends tingle through your pussy as you start grounding your ass on his growing tent.

"Tommy, I think we should stop." You spoke in between the kiss.

"Hmm, why?" His lips captured your bottom lips, seductively tugging on them, as his eyes watches the way it bounces back once he lets go.

"I want you, but I'm on my period. It'll be a mess, besides, don't you find it disgusting?" Your voice sounded so soft and delicate, it almost came out as a squeak and he finds it adorable.

"I told you, I'm going to show you how I am yours, right? Then let me show you, baby." He muttered against your neck before he connected his lips to your sensitive flesh as you throw your head back rolling your eyes closed, your mouth fell agape letting out a moan.

His hands went to play with your clothed breasts before he tore the fabric off of your body, earning a gasp from you. He switched from your neck to snatch one of your nipples with his mouth, giving a light suck as the other he played with. You could never understand the anatomy of a woman's body, on why when men played with our breasts and giving them attention—an electricity will spark down to our pussy. Or is it just you?

You couldn't help but grind your hips against his bulge, circling and grounding to let him know that you really need him as soon as possible. But, he's taken his sweet time on getting you all worked up. He wants to prep you, before he goes on action.

"Tommy, please.."

"That's not my name, what's my name?" You whimpered, with a slap to your ass another one escaped.

"Need I remind you, baby?"

"Daddy, please. I need you, I need you to fuck me, now please." You pleaded.

"See, that wasn't so bad right?" He breathed. He switched both of you as you are now laying against the bed with him on top of you. He spread your legs as if its your wings, wide. He stands on his knees, palming his tent, looking at you with his jaw clenched.

“Now, I don’t care how messy it’s gonna get cause daddy’s gonna fuck you so good your pussy’s going to only want no one but me.”

[halsteadlover]

Always a Family

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested: yes by anon.

• Warnings: talking about infertility and bad writing.

• Word count: 3498.

• A/N: bye I’m so bad at giving titles 💀. I know that’s not good, I’m sorry for how this turned out. Let me know what do you think about this one and if I wasn’t accurate dealing with this topic, I tried my best and I apologize for any mistake. Reblog, like and comment please, I’d love to know your opinions ❤️ my inbox is always open if you want to just talk. Love you, and thank you for your support.

Ever since you were a teenager, you had the desire to become a mother, to find a prince charming with whom to start a family and live happily ever after in a house of your own.

You found your prince charming, the best you could ever ask for, you found the house in which to live happily ever after, but no family, however.

Due to some health problems, when you were just a little girl you were told you’d never be able to conceive and for you the possibility of becoming a mother and having a family would unfortunately have been only and forever a dream.

That part of your life was a part you never told anyone, not even your husband even if he was your rock, your lifeline, your everything, but still the crippling fear he might leave you if he had found out was superior to anything else and prevented you from telling him the whole truth.

When you and Jay met you were going through a period where you didn't have any expectations but he managed to change your mind. You never imagined you’d fall so much in love with that man that you’d end up marrying him, you never thought you wanted to share your life with someone as much as you wished with him. Telling him about your infertility had never been a problem, since initially, as already mentioned, you had no expectations. But as time went by, keeping this part of you inside became more and more difficult and the guilt for hiding such a big thing began to slowly eat you from inside.

For better or for worse, though, things always came to light.

One evening, after dinner, you and Jay were on the sofa cuddling, a bowl of popcorn on your lap while watching a movie. Your head rested on his chest as his arm wrapped around your shoulder, squeezing you warmly against him.

You actually didn't even like the movie, being an action movie, but Jay seemed to thrill and he was so cute and handsome as he was watching tv with so much concentration you didn't have the heart to change channel. You didn't particularly like those kind of movies, perhaps because you spent so much of your time immersed in murders, criminals, drugs and kidnappings, the last thing you wanted was to see something that reminded you of them.

“Baby?” you heard Jay's voice waking you up from the state of sleep you were falling into.

“Mmh?” you answered, opening your eyes and bringing them back to the TV as if you had followed the film step by step. To your surprise – and delight – it was over and you found yourself mentally breathing a sigh of relief.

“Did you miss the ending?” he asked you amused.

“Absolutely not.”

“Oh yeah? And what do you think about it? Did you like it?”.

“Definitely an unprecedented film, a completely unexpected ending and one twist after another, ten out of ten.”

He burst out laughing, holding you closer and filling your cheeks with kisses. “My sleeping beauty. You could’ve told me you didn't like the movie baby.”

“No baby, I enjoyed the movie, it's just that I'm a little bit tired after today.”

Jay planted a kiss on your temple, chuckling after realizing it was obviously a little lie. “I love you so much baby, but now let's go to bed come on.”

“Y/N can I talk to you about something?” Jay asked suddenly, after you settled under the covers, cuddling.

“Of course, spit it out.”

“First of all I want to tell you I don't want to scare you off or anything, it's just something I've been thinking about for a while now and… well… I wanted to tell you about it.”

“Do I have to worry?” you asked amused.

“No, no, of course not,” he spoke, taking your hand in his, his eyes locked in yours. “So… Obviously I'm not talking immediately, like something that's going to happen tomorrow but… Well… What do you think about starting a family? We haven't talked about it much, but do you want to have a baby one day?”.

Your stomach dropped at hearing those words, your heart nearly skipped a beat. Anxiety immediately kicked in though you tried as hard as possible not to show a reaction, to remain neutral.

You reluctantly knew this day would come sooner or later, but you hoped with all your heart it’d delay as long as possible. For an instant all thoughts rushed out of your mind, not having the slightest idea where to begin to tell him his wish would never be granted, at least not with you.

“S-sure baby, I'd be so happy to have a baby with you,” you replied, trying to put on a fake smile and feeling your heart break when you instead saw the radiant smile that appeared on his face, the way his eyes sparkled.

“Are you serious? Do you really want it?”

You tried with every fiber of your being to keep your composure but you couldn't stop your eyes from filling with tears, which however Jay, seized with happiness, thought were tears of joy.

“Yes Jay, there is nothing else in the world I want than to have a family with you,” you replied, telling the sincerest truth. That was true, having a family with your husband was really what you wanted with all your heart.

In a fit of joy he hugged you, squeezing you so hard he took your breath away. But you felt so dirty, hypocritical, a shitty person to prevent him from fulfilling his desire. The tears threatened more and more to escape from your eyes but you managed to find the strength to hold back, not to burst into tears.

You couldn't sleep that night.

The guilt was eating you up from inside, you couldn't drive away that feeling of betrayal.

You felt guilty for hiding something so important from your husband, the person you had to trust most in the world, you felt guilty because you’d never be able to give him something he wanted so much, you felt bad about yourself for not being able to accept you’d never become a mother, you’d never have a baby bump to caress, you’d never experience childbirth, watching your baby grow up.

This sense of guilt coexisted with the disabling fear of losing everything you had built with so much effort. You were fucking afraid of losing the love of your life, that once he found out he’d run away.

You couldn't lie in that bed much longer, feeling an overwhelming feeling of suffocation taking over you. So you got out of bed, trying to be as quiet as possible to try not to wake Jay, who was sleeping peacefully next to you.

But it wasn't long before he noticed your absence.

Jay stretched out his arm to his left, in an attempt to hug you but he immediately realized your absence and this made him wake up suddenly. He propped himself up on his elbows, rubbing his sleep-filled eyes as he tried to adjust his vision to the dark room.

“Y/N? baby?” he called you and after receiving no answer, he moved the covers from over his body and stood up, heading towards the living room. Fear took over him when, seeing you sitting on the couch, he realized you were crying.

“Baby, oh my god are you okay? What is going on? Are you hurt?” he rushed to you, bending down in front of you. You sat with your elbows resting on your knees, your hands covering your face as you sobbed.

“Y/N please talk to me, tell me what's wrong, is something hurting you?” he persisted, his heart pounding, anxiety gripping his stomach. You shook your head, through tears, unable to speak.

“My love, look at me please. You're scaring the shit out of me, please,” he kept asking as his hands caressed your arms. You stood up, wiping away your tears at the same time, but still keeping your face covered. You didn't want him to see you, not like that.

“Baby...” he murmured, then sitting down next to you, starting to caress your back, “I'm here, I won't leave you. Just take a deep breath, I'm here next to you.”

A few moments passed before you to began to calm down a bit.

“Look at me baby,” Jay said, almost in a whisper and when you didn't, he placed two fingers on your chin and turned your head towards him, forcing you to look at him. Your eyes were still red and swollen from the tears, your cheeks wet from them. “It breaks my heart seeing you like this and not being able to help you... My love please talk to me, whatever it is we can solve it, I'm here with you.”

Oh darling, I wish this could be fixed.

You shook your head, the urge to cry threatening to overwhelm you again.

“Y-you'll leave me if I tell you…” you stammered, struggling to maintain eye contact.

A bewildered expression came over Jay's face and in that moment he wondered if you had hit your head somewhere. “What? I hope you're joking, for what kind of reason would I leave you?” he blurted out, dumbfounded “You are my wife, the love of my life, unless you've slept with someone else, there's no way I'm ever going to leave you, just get it out of your mind.”

“What? Absolutely not, it's not that,” you replied immediately.

“I know baby I know, I was just kidding. But you have to tell me what makes you feel like this, I want to help you but I can't do it if you don't talk t-… Oh no, no, no, don't please cry, my love...” he hugged you, squeezing you like never before, one arm around your shoulders while the other hand stroked your hair, “I'm here, I'm here and I will never leave you, I’d die rather and I'm not kidding, whatever happened will never make me walk away from you.”

You continued to cry in his arms, until he pulled away slightly and gently grabbed your face, wiping away the tears streaming down your cheeks with his thumbs.

“You trust me right?”.

“Blindly, with my own life,” you answered without hesitation.

“Then you must have no doubts when I tell you nothing and no one can ever separate me from you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, grow old with you, I won’t leave you not even in a parallel universe.”

“I'm so scared Jay,” you whispered.

“For what baby?”.

“That you will no longer trust me, that you’ll hate me and look at me differently.”

At that point panic began to take hold of him again.

“Baby you're really worrying me now, did something bad happen? Please tell me.”

Now or never.

“About h-having… Well, having a family…”

Jay breathed a sigh of relief at you, his mind having already planned the worst-case scenarios he could think of. “You don’t want to have kids? It’s okay baby, why didn't you tell me? It's an important thing, don't-...”

“No, no,” you interrupted him “It's just that… God… I really want to start a family too, my love.”

At that point the panic was replaced by confusion. “Baby I really don't understand.”

“I would love a family but the thing is…” you sighed, trying not to cry again “I can't.”

“What do you mean?”.

“Physically, I… I can't have children, I'm completely infertile.”

“Oh.”

There was a moment of silence that seemed to last an eternity. You couldn't read Jay's expression well, you couldn't tell if he was angry, disappointed, scared or whatever.

“Now you're going to leave me right?” you asked in a whisper, your eyes filled with tears again as you looked at him, scared stiff at the answer you’d receive.

“What? Absolutely not my love,” he replied quickly, looking at you as if you were crazy “I'm actually relieved, I thought something really bad had happened.”

“Relieved?”.

“Oh, no, no, sorry baby I didn't mean that, I just really thought the worst for a second,” he explained, feeling guilty at his choice of words. He continued to caress your face while you looked at him carefully as if waiting for a rant from him.

“Do you hate me?”.

“Baby come here,” he said pulling you into a hug. It broke his heart to see you like that, to know you had been so afraid of losing him you preferred to torment yourself rather than tell him about it, and he wasn't angry, he never could be, not about something so delicate you weren't responsible for. God, how could you even think he could hate you? He could leave you? “I love you so damn much, more than anyone else on this planet, I'm so sorry you had to go through this alone, I could never hate you how can you even think about that?”.

“I was so scared to tell you, I thought…” you cried “I thought you were going to leave me.”

Jay broke away from the hug, pointing his green eyes straight into yours. “Baby it's not your fault, I understand why you were so afraid to tell me and I'm so sorry, because I would’ve reassured you that I love you to death, that I will never let go of the best thing that ever happened to me, you don't have to never be afraid to talk to me and express your fears because I will always be by your side, I will support you no matter what happens, you must never doubt this.”

Those words from him threw you even further into an abyss of guilt and despair.

“My baby, God I hate to see you like this,” he whispered, hugging you again.

“I feel awful.”

“Why? You absolutely don't have to.”

“Because you are so amazing and understanding and… And I don't know what I did to deserve you after I kept such an important thing from you…” You stopped for a second due to a sob “I feel like shit because I'm wrong and I can't give you what you most desire, because of me we won't have a family, a child of our own, and… Shit, you'd better leave me… You deserve to…-”

“Okay Y/N now I have to stop you,” Jay interrupted, not even wanting to hear another word of your nonsensical speech. He pulled away from the hug and put his hands on your shoulders, “I don’t want this bullshit to come out of your mouth again, okay? You're not wrong...”

“Can I ask you something?” you asked him, interrupting him in your turn.

“Sure, anything you want.”

“But please tell me the truth. If I told you sooner, would you have changed your mind about me? Would you have continued our relationship?”. For an instant you were terrified of hearing his answer, your heart pounding.

“No love that wouldn't have changed anything and it wouldn't have affected our relationship because I loved you, I love you and I will always love you dearly with all my heart and even now that you told me it doesn't change how my eyes see you. In sickness and in health remember? Through thick and thin,” he answered without hesitation. He took your hand with his, intertwining your fingers, “Y/N, baby, listen to me alright? You're not wrong, it's not your fault and I'm not mad at you, I won't leave you understand? I understand why you didn't tell me sooner and I don't blame you. You know, sometimes our body betrays us, not everything goes the way we want but we don't have to blame ourselves for this. What matters to me is that we are together, there are so many other ways to have a family, there are so many kids out there who are alone and need lots of love. We’re always gonna be a family.”

You nodded, still crying.

“Love it's not your fault, I know that's easy for me to say and hard for you to accept. You make me so happy, you have no idea how much, you really are the best thing that ever happened to me and that won't change my mind.”

“It's not right for you…” you whispered..

“What's not right?”

“To stay with me, you want a baby and I can't have one, it's not fair for you to have to give it up.”

“But we won't give up, as I have already told you there are many children waiting to have a family, that need love and affection. Honestly, there's no other person in the world I'd want to do this with, just you,” he spoke “We can have kids but there’s no one else like you baby.”

“I know…”

“Darling,” he murmured, giving you a kiss on the forehead before continuing to speak “I'm always with you, you know that right? I will always help you, we will face every obstacle together and together we’ll be able to overcome this guilt you feel. One day you’ll be able to understand it's not your fault, that there is no need to feel this way, you’ll be able to truly understand unfortunately life can be bad even with people like you who don't deserve it at all, that you shouldn't let yourself be discouraged and find your strength even in the bad things that happen to you. You’ll be able to forgive yourself one day for feeling wrong, I know, it will take some time, but I know you will because you’re one of the strongest people I have ever known and I will always be with you, at every step you take.”

And that’s it. This was the reason why you married that man, because he understood you, he read you like no one else did, because before you even spoke he was able to understand what was tormenting you.

“I love you so much Jay,” you cried out and that time it was you hugging him, “Thank you for everything, for being so amazing, God I don't know what I’d do without you.”

“I love you so much too, thank you for trusting me.”

You stayed on that sofa for an indefinite amount of time, hugging each other and talking, until the sun started to rise outside. You felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off your shoulders and you thanked the universe for having a man like Jay next to you, not everyone would’ve reacted the way he did, and you felt like the luckiest person on earth to have chosen a gem as rare as him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked you. You were lying on the sofa, your head resting on his lap as he played with a strand of your hair.

You brought your gaze to him. “About what?”.

“How did you find out?” he asked, “But I don't want you to feel obligated to do this, I know it's delicate for you.”

“No, of course I want to tell you,” you replied “When I was about fifteen I had a uterine fibroid discovered, nothing too serious, it's a benign tumor that could be surgically removed without a hitch but during surgery the surgeons had found the situation was worse than expected and there was a complication, a massive hemorrhage that forced them to remove the uterus.”

“I'm so sorry baby,” he whispered, stroking your hair “Have you ever told anyone about this?”

You shook your head. “If you mean professionally no, my parents continually suggested I had to talk to a psychologist but I always refused, I was just a little girl, you know, I didn't think I needed it and I kept it to myself. I've always pretended nothing happened but, growing up, I realized that maybe I should’ve done it instead. It's traumatic for a 15-year-old to be told she’d never be able to have children and now I'm still bearing the consequences.”

“I'm sorry you had to go through all this alone, especially when you were still too young to even understand what was going on,” he spoke. “But now you are no longer alone, I will always be there at every step you take and above all it is never too late to ask for help if you need it.”

“I know love,” you smiled weakly. “I already feel so much better now that I've told you about it, I'm just sorry I haven't done it sooner, but now I feel like I'm not alone in going through this anymore. Don't get me wrong, I've accepted it by now, but I know that when we’ll expand our family, I have to solve some 'issues’ first.”

Jay smiled at the word when. “When?”

“Of course baby. As someone very important to me told me, there are so many children out there in need of love and a family.”

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[whatarewedoingdude]

Gonna rant about my gender identity because I've been pondering it lately for some reason

I was born with the body of a girl, and I don't mind it. Sometimes I wish I was different, but most times I don't. Sure, the monthly bleeding and hormones are annoying, but I love this body. It may not love me, but I'm doing whatever I can to help that.

I feel like this is mainly due to the fact that I have grown and changed- both physically and mentally- as a person. I grew up hating this body, doing whatever I could to disgrace it. I went through a period in my early teens where I would never look at my body in the mirror. Every time I went to shower, I would turn and face away from the giant mirror in the bathroom. I would cover my eyes so I didn't have to see the body I so badly wanted to be rid of.

Since then, I have come to terms with the shape and anatomy of my body. I now truly believe I am beautiful.

When I was a small child, before reaching double-digit age, I was avid on not being feminine. I hated the color pink, I didn't like stereotypically "girly" things, I did not wear skirts or dresses, I did not paint my nails, I did not like makeup. I never understood why, but now I know it was dysphoria. I did not know it at the time, but I was a boy internally. There was a great disconnect between me and femininity- even though I was a girl, I never felt like one. I felt like I was pretending whenever I presented myself as such.

This is still partially true. Internally, I feel like a boy.

As a preteen, I was obsessed with presenting as femininely as possible. I would shave my arms and legs, stuff my bra, and try to act as "girly" as possible. This was mainly to get male attention. I wanted to be seen and wanted as a woman, to be pretty and desired like all the other girls who had boys falling all over them. At that time, I had a boyfriend and was wildly insecure. By increasing my femininity, I thought he'd pay more attention to me and love me more. This was to no avail.

Only until the pandemic hit did I discover myself.

As I reached my teen years, I thought I was a transgender man. I would dress in jeans and button ups every day, wear sports bras that made my chest look virtually flat, and never shave. I believed that I was a boy, and wanted to be a boy. But I did not want to change my body. This was confusing to me, since at the time, I didn't fully understand that your body doesn't coordinate with your gender identity. It was at this time that I chose my second name: Axel. In typical 13-year-old-me fashion, this name came to me through a video in which a German grandmother gave Haikyu characters German names. Of course, she named my favorite character "Axel", and after a quick google search, I discovered that the name was Scandinavian in origin. Seeing this as an opportunity to pay homage to my ancestors, as well as reinvent myself, I took the name and ran.

After a few years, I am still incredibly happy with this name. The nickname "Axe" is an additional perk.

Only in recent years have I really put two and two together on my real identity. I came across the knowledge that my gender was very flexible and dependent on how I felt that day. I discovered the term "genderfluid" shortly after, which completely transformed my identity. Before, I had classified myself as ftm, even though that never felt quite right. After some research, I concluded that the term "genderfluid" perfectly described how I felt.

I am still very happy with this label. It fits like a glove.

A year or two ago, I finally got my first gender-affirming haircut. It was still fairly feminine, but having hair that didn't go past my shoulders was like a puzzle piece finally clicking into place. Since then, I have gone shorter and shorter, and I now have my sides shaved and a stylized mullet- to the distress of my twin flame, who hates mullets. As I entered my first serious relationship, I discovered that I don't like being seen as a girl through and through. I like being seen as a boy and being referred to as such, even though I present incredibly feminine.

The best way I can describe this is through the analogy of a drag queen. Some fully identify and embrace being physically and mentally male, even though they enjoy presenting feminine. I'm like a drag queen who never takes the makeup off.

[lifeofpriya]

could you write a jack one where the reader is on her period and jack comforts her bc she has cramps?

your wish is my command, anon, i got you! 😉🫡

Jack to the Rescue

wc: 4.2k

You wake up to the gentle hum of the city outside your window, the curtains drawn back just enough to let in the early morning light. You're nestled in bed next to Jack. His chest rises and falls steadily with each breath, his arms wrapped around you protectively. You feel the warmth of his embrace, the comfort of his presence, and the softness of the pillow beneath your head. But today, something is off. Your stomach clenches in pain, the familiar reminder that you're about to start your period.

You try to shift, hoping the change in position might alleviate the cramps, but it only makes it worse. You bite your lip to muffle a gasp, not wanting to disturb Jack's peaceful sleep. But your eyes are wide open now, the pain too intense to ignore.

Jack stirs, his eyelids fluttering as he registers your discomfort. "Hey, you okay?" he murmurs, his voice thick with sleep.

You manage a weak smile. "Just cramps," you reply, trying to downplay the pain.

Jack, ever attentive, doesn't miss a beat. He sits up, the bed sheets falling away to reveal his toned athletic build. His eyes are filled with concern. "Here, let me help," he says, his voice tender. He slides out of bed and pads to the kitchen, the floorboards creaking softly under his feet. You hear the comforting sounds of him rummaging through the cabinets echoing through the quiet apartment.

When he returns, he's holding a steaming mug of tea and a warm heat pack. "I made you some chamomile. It might help," he says, setting the mug on the nightstand within arm's reach and placing the heat pack on your stomach. The warmth seeps into your skin, bringing a slight relief to the cramps that have you in their vice-like grip.

Jack sits beside you, his hand resting gently on your forehead, checking for fever. "Is there anything else I can do?" he asks, his eyes searching yours for any unspoken needs.

You nod slightly, not wanting to burden him but unable to hide your discomfort. "Could you… maybe… get me some painkillers?" you ask, your voice laced with a hint of desperation.

Jack's eyes widen with understanding. "Of course," he says, jumping up again. "I'll be right back." He's like a guardian angel in the early light, his movements swift yet careful, as if the entire room could shatter at any moment.

While he's gone, you pull the covers up to your chin, the coolness of the fabric a stark contrast to the heat of the pack. The room is a soft blend of shadows and light, the sun just beginning to paint the walls with a soft pink hue. You close your eyes, willing the pain to subside, focusing on the rhythm of your breaths.

Jack returns swiftly, a bottle of painkillers in one hand and a glass of water in the other. He opens the cap with practiced ease and hands you two pills. "Here, take these," he urges gently, his eyes never leaving yours.

You swallow the pills with a grateful nod, the water cool and soothing as it goes down your throat. He sets the glass down and takes your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "How's the tea?"

"It's perfect, Jack," you murmur, taking a sip of the fragrant liquid. The warmth of it spreads through your body like a gentle embrace.

Jack smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Good," he says, his thumb brushing against the back of your hand in a soothing motion. "Do you need anything else?"

You shake your head, the pain slowly beginning to recede under the dual assault of the tea and painkillers. "No, this is helping," you reply, your voice a little more robust now.

Jack nods, his eyes never leaving your face. He's like that, always watching out for you, always ready to jump into action. It's one of the things you love about him, his unyielding care and attention. You can see the wheels turning in his head as he thinks of what else he can do to make you feel better.

He stands up, the mattress shifting slightly under his weight. "I'll be right back," he says, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. You feel his warmth linger for a moment before he's gone again. You listen to his footsteps fade down the hallway, the sound of him opening the bathroom door, the rustle of fabric as he searches for something.

When he returns, Jack has a wet washcloth in his hand. He sits on the bed and gently presses it against your forehead, the coolness soothing the feverish heat that's starting to build. "Better?" he asks, his voice a gentle rumble.

You nod, feeling the tension in your body begin to unravel under his tender ministrations. He sits with you, the silence of the room filled only by the sound of his steady breathing and the occasional sip of tea from your mug. The pain ebbs and flows like a tide, but with each passing minute, it feels more manageable.

As you sip the tea, you notice the faint scent of lavender in the air. You look up to see Jack lighting a candle on the dresser across the room, the flame casting a warm glow on his face. "It's supposed to be relaxing," he explains with a shrug, his cheeks tinting a light shade of pink.

You smile through the pain, your heart swelling with affection. "Thank you," you whisper, your eyes brimming with unshed tears. The simple act of lighting a candle is a testament to his thoughtfulness, his desire to create a soothing atmosphere to ease your discomfort.

Jack sits back down on the bed, his hand still enveloping yours. He's dressed in an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants, his hair sticking up in every direction from sleep. Yet, even in this casual attire, he exudes a comforting presence that wraps around you like a blanket.

You lean into him, your head finding its way to his chest. His heart beats steadily beneath your cheek, a reassuring rhythm that grounds you. He wraps his free arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer, his warmth seeping into your bones.

As the minutes tick by, the pain slowly recedes, lulled into submission by the warmth of the heat pack, the comfort of Jack's embrace, and the gentle aroma of lavender. You feel your muscles unclench, the tension draining away.

Jack starts to stroke your hair, his movements slow and rhythmic. "Remember the first time we met?" he asks, his voice a soft murmur against your ear.

You nod, a small smile playing on your lips despite the pain. "How could I forget? You spilled your tea all over me at the café," you say, the memory bringing a warmth that rivals the heat pack.

Jack laughs, the sound rumbling through his chest. "Yeah, that was pretty embarrassing," he admits, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "But it was worth it to get to know you."

You chuckle too, the pain now just a dull throb. "It was," you agree, looking up at him.

Jack's smile softens, his thumb still stroking your hand. "What was it like, the first time you realized you had feelings for me?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

You think back to the moments that led you here, the shared laughter, the lingering glances, the butterflies that danced in your stomach every time you saw him. "It was like watching a sunrise," you reply, the words spilling out naturally. "Slow and beautiful, and suddenly the world was in a different light."

Jack's smile grows, his eyes bright with happiness. He leans in, pressing his forehead against yours. "And what about the first time you knew I felt the same?"

You blush, remembering the nervousness that had filled you when he had first confessed his feelings. "It was like the first point of a tiebreak," you say, your voice just as soft as his. "Exhilarating and scary, but mostly just… right."

Jack's eyes light up, his gaze locking onto yours. "Yeah, that's exactly it," he murmurs, his breath warm on your face. The air between you is charged, the pain in your stomach momentarily forgotten as your hearts synchronize their beats.

He leans in closer, his eyes searching yours for permission. You give it with the slightest nod, and then his lips are on yours, soft and gentle, as if afraid to break the fragile peace that has settled over the room. The kiss is a promise of more to come, a reminder that even in the face of pain and discomfort, love is the most potent balm.

The cramps have dulled to a tolerable ache now, and you find yourself focusing on the tender way Jack holds you, his arms a warm cocoon of protection and care. His hand continues to stroke your hair, and you feel your eyes grow heavy with the weight of the painkillers and the comfort of his presence.

As you drift off to sleep, Jack whispers sweet nothings into your ear, his words a gentle lullaby that soothes your soul. The sun has fully risen, casting a warm glow across the room. The pain is a distant memory, replaced by the warmth of Jack's embrace and the peace that his love brings.

You wake up a few hours later, the pain a dull throb. The heat pack is cold, but Jack is still there, his chest rising and falling in the rhythm of sleep. You carefully move his arm, sit up, and replace the pack with a fresh one from the microwave. You sip on the now lukewarm tea, the taste bitter but comforting.

The city outside has come alive, the sounds of traffic and distant chatter filtering through the open window. You feel a twinge of guilt for keeping Jack up, but he stirs, his eyes opening to find yours. "How are you feeling?" he asks, his voice filled with concern.

"Better," you reply honestly, the pain now a dull ache that you can handle. "Thank you for everything."

Jack stretches, his muscles rippling beneath the fabric of his shirt. "It's nothing," he says, a smile playing on his lips. "You'd do the same for me."

You know he's right. Your relationship has always been one of give and take, of supporting each other through the highs and lows. It's one of the reasons you've fallen so deeply for him.

As you watch him get ready for the day, you can't help but feel a sense of admiration for the way he's handled this morning. He's not squeamish about your period, doesn't treat it like a taboo subject. He's just Jack, ready to take on whatever the day throws at you both.

After he's dressed, Jack comes over and sits next to you on the bed again. "Do you need anything?" he asks, his voice filled with genuine concern.

"No, I'm good," you reply, sipping the last of your tea. "Thanks for everything."

Jack nods, his eyes searching your face for any signs of pain. "If it gets bad again, just tell me," he says, his voice firm yet gentle. "I'll cancel practice, stay with you."

You shake your head, feeling a renewed strength in your bones. "No, you go. I'll be fine," you assure him. "I just need to rest."

Jack's gaze lingers on you for a moment longer, as if to make sure you're not just saying that to send him away. But when he sees the determination in your eyes, he nods. "Alright," he says, standing up. He leans down to kiss you, his lips soft and lingering. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"I will," you promise, watching as he grabs his tennis bag and heads out the door, his footsteps fading into the hallway.

Alone in the apartment, you take a deep breath, letting the quiet wrap around you like a blanket. You get up slowly, feeling the stiffness in your joints from lying in bed. You make your way to the bathroom, the cool tiles a stark contrast to the warmth of the bedroom. You take a long, hot shower, the water washing away the last remnants of pain and sleep.

Once dressed, you venture into the kitchen, where the scent of Jack's tea still lingers in the air. You decide to make some breakfast, something simple like toast and jam. As you're buttering a slice of bread, the phone buzzes with a text from Jack. "How are you holding up?" it reads. You smile to yourself and reply, "Much better, thanks to you."

The pain has subsided to a point where you can almost ignore it, the pills and heat doing their job. You decide to spend the day resting, maybe watching a movie or reading a book. You settle on the couch, the plush cushions molding to your body, and scroll through the streaming options.

Just as you're about to press play, there's a knock at the door. You hesitate for a moment, not expecting anyone, but the thought of Jack forgetting something makes you push yourself up and shuffle over.

When you open the door, you're greeted by a delivery person holding a bouquet of vibrant flowers. "These are for you," they say with a smile, handing over the bouquet.

You take them in surprise, the fragrance of roses and lavender wafting towards you. "But I didn't order any," you reply, your voice filled with wonder.

The delivery person winks. "They're from Jack, with a note," they say before turning to leave. You find a small card nestled among the blooms, your name scribbled in his messy handwriting.

"Thinking of you on this not-so-great day," it reads. "Remember, even when you're feeling low, you're the brightest star in my sky."

Your heart skips a beat at the sweet message, the flowers a vivid reminder of Jack's thoughtfulness. You place the bouquet on the coffee table, the colors bright against the dark wood, and collapse back onto the couch with a sigh. The gesture is so simple, yet so profoundly moving that it brings a tear to your eye.

The door clicks shut behind you, and you're once again enveloped in the quiet solitude of the apartment. You take a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling the last of the cramps loosen their grip on your stomach. You make your way back to the kitchen, the flowers' sweet scent following you like a comforting trail.

You grab a vase from the cabinet and fill it with water, carefully arranging the bouquet so the roses and lavender stand tall. The vibrant colors seem to brighten the space, casting a gentle glow across the counter. You place the vase in the center of the room, where the light from the window can kiss the petals and make them shine.

With a content sigh, you return to the couch, the softness of the cushions welcoming you back. You pick up your remote and select a light-hearted rom-com, the kind that makes you laugh and feel good about life. As the movie starts, you can't help but think about Jack, about his kindness and the way he makes everything seem okay, even on the toughest of days.

The film plays on, the laughter and love stories providing a soothing backdrop to your thoughts. The pain is now a faint whisper, a mere echo of what it was before Jack's gentle care. You reach for the phone and send him a text, "Flowers are beautiful. Thank you for making this day a little brighter."

As the plot unfolds, you find yourself lost in the world of the characters, their trials and tribulations seemingly trivial compared to the pain you've felt today. Yet, as you watch them find comfort in each other's arms, you can't help but draw parallels to your own life.

Jack's thoughtfulness isn't just about the flowers or the tea. It's about his unwavering support, his willingness to be there for you no matter what. You think about the times he's cheered you on from the sidelines of your life, the way he's picked you up when you've stumbled, the way he's held you when you've needed it most.

The movie reaches a pivotal scene, the couple on screen sharing a kiss filled with hope and promise. You can't help but reflect on the kiss you shared with Jack earlier that morning, the way his arms felt around you, the way his heart beat in sync with yours.

The cramps have retreated to a dull ache, a distant memory of the pain that had gripped you earlier. You feel a warmth spread through your chest as you think about the comfort he brought you, the way he'd held your hand and whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

As the movie plays on, you drift in and out of sleep, the sound of laughter and romance lulling you into a peaceful doze. When you wake up, the room is bathed in the soft glow of the setting sun, the shadows stretching long across the floor. You check your phone, a text from Jack lighting up the screen: "How are you holding up?"

You smile, feeling the warmth of his concern even though he's not here. "Much better, thanks to you," you reply. The pain is now just a whisper, a faint reminder of the storm that had once raged through your body.

The movie ends with the couple walking hand in hand into the sunset, the screen fading to black. You sit up, feeling rejuvenated, the pain a distant memory. You decide to take a moment to appreciate the quiet, to let the comfort of the apartment and the lingering scent of lavender and roses wrap around you like a warm blanket.

You wander over to the kitchen, the need for something more substantial than toast growing. You whip up a simple meal, the sounds of pans sizzling and ingredients mixing a comforting symphony. The aroma of food fills the space, mingling with the floral bouquet from the living room.

As you eat, you can't help but feel a sense of gratitude for Jack. He's not just your boyfriend, but your champion, your confidant, your rock. The way he's handled this morning, with such sensitivity and care, has made you realize how lucky you are to have him.

You finish your meal and decide to get some fresh air, the pain now a mere echo of its former self. The city outside is alive, the sounds of cars and pedestrians a gentle symphony of life. You take a deep breath, feeling the chill of the early evening air against your cheeks.

As you walk, you pass a small park, the leaves on the trees a vibrant mosaic of orange and red. You find a bench, the metal cold against your back, but you don't mind. You sit and watch the children play, their laughter a soothing melody that fills the space between the buildings.

The cramps have retreated completely now, a testament to the power of Jack's care and the strength of your own body. You take out your phone and scroll through the pictures of you two, smiling at the memories captured in pixels. From your first date, awkwardly trying to balance trays of food at a street festival, to the triumphant moment when Jack won his first major tournament, you've shared so much.

As you sit in the park, you feel the gentle throb of your heart, not from pain, but from love. You think about the future, the moments you'll create together, the challenges you'll face side by side. You know that with Jack, even the darkest of days will be filled with light.

You decide to head back home, feeling a newfound sense of energy. The apartment is just as you left it, the flowers still standing tall and proud. You sit down at the kitchen table, the candle Jack lit earlier now a puddle of wax, the wick a tiny stub.

As you're clearing up the dinner dishes, your phone buzzes again. It's Jack. "Practice went well. Can't wait to see you tonight," the message reads, followed by a string of heart emojis.

You smile, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. Despite the distance between you today, you know he's thinking of you, just as you're thinking of him. You reply, "Missed you. Can't wait for you to come home."

As the evening stretches on, you keep yourself busy by tidying up the apartment, the physical exertion a welcome distraction from any lingering discomfort. You fold laundry, straighten up the bedroom, and even manage to tackle the pile of dishes that had been growing in the sink. The simple, repetitive tasks are oddly comforting, grounding you in the present moment.

With the apartment feeling fresher than ever, you decide to run a bath, filling it with warm water and a generous dollop of bubble bath. The scent of vanilla and chamomile fills the room, reminiscent of Jack's earlier efforts to soothe your pain. You sink into the tub, letting the water cradle your body, the warmth seeping into your muscles and bones.

You lay back, the bubbles tickling your neck, and allow your thoughts to drift. You think about Jack, about his dedication to his sport, his kindness to you, and his unwavering support. You know he's out there on the courts right now, sweat glistening on his brow, pushing himself to be the best. You're proud of him, not just for his success but for his heart, for the way he's made room for you in his busy life.

The warm water soothes your body, the aroma of the bath bomb wrapping around you like a cozy blanket. You close your eyes and let out a deep sigh, feeling the last of the tension melt away. You lean your head back, the warmth of the water a balm to your soul.

"Love, I'm home," Jack calls out as he opens the door, the sound of his voice like a warm embrace after a long, cold day.

"I'm in the bath," you call back, a hint of shyness in your voice. The sound of his footsteps grows closer, the thud of his tennis shoes on the hardwood floor giving way to the soft thump of socks.

Jack pokes his head around the door, his cheeks flushed from the cold outside. "Everything okay?" he asks, his eyes scanning the room.

You smile, the warmth of the water and the scent of the bubbles creating a cocoon of comfort around you. "Yeah, just relaxing," you reply, your voice floating out to him.

Jack nods, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he retreats. You hear him moving around the apartment, the rustle of his tennis bag, the clank of his keys on the counter. Then, the quiet returns, and you're left with just the sound of the water lapping against the porcelain.

As you soak, you think about how lucky you are to have found someone like Jack. In the bustling world of professional sports, where relationships often take a back seat to ambition, he's proven to be a rare gem. His dedication to his career is matched only by his commitment to you.

The water starts to cool, so you reluctantly climb out of the tub, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel. The soft terry cloth feels like a warm hug against your skin, and you take a moment to appreciate the little comforts in life.

You soon get dressed and step out into the hallway, the warmth of the bathroom contrasting with the cool air of the apartment. You find Jack sitting on the couch, his legs stretched out, scrolling through his phone. He looks up as you emerge, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you.

"Feeling better?" he asks, his voice filled with genuine concern.

You nod, the warmth of the bath and the lingering scent of the bubbles leaving you feeling refreshed. "Much," you reply, walking over to him.

Jack sets his phone aside and pulls you into his arms, the familiar scent of his cologne and sweat a comforting reminder of his presence. "Good," he murmurs, his breath warm against your ear. "I hate seeing you in pain."

You lean into him, the softness of the couch cushions melding to your body as you snuggle closer. "It's part of life," you say with a slight shrug, the last remnants of your earlier discomfort forgotten.

Jack sighs, his arms tightening around you. "I know," he says, "but I still don't like it."

You tip your head up to look at him, a playful smile on your lips. "You can't fix everything," you tease gently.

Jack grins back, a spark in his eyes. "Oh, I can try," he says, his voice full of mischief.

You laugh, feeling the last of the tension slip away. "I know you can," you agree, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

Jack's hand comes up to cup your face, turning your cheek kiss into a deeper, more intimate one. His other arm wraps around your waist, pulling you closer. You can feel the warmth of his body, the strength in his embrace. His kiss is gentle but firm, a promise that he'll always be there for you.

[simpforanyanimeguywithdarkhair]

BUT NOT ENOUGH 4

#Genre: Fluff, angst

#Includes: Whoever you wish, no character descriptors.

#Description: Period piece. King ML x Maid FL.

#WC: 2.1k

♛ Part 1 ♛ Part 2 ♛ Part 3 ♛ Part 4 (Final)

The following morning was hectic to say the least, your mind preoccupied with the events of last night and the Kings life altering words swam around your mind like the earth orbiting the sun, yet you hope to find an answer to the Kings question faster than it takes the earth to orbit said sun. You were in two minds, while nothing was keeping you tied to your Kingdom, leaving was easier said than done and you were unsure of what was detaining you here – was it the safety or the fear of the past repeating itself? You strongly believe King Isenad would not be a repeat of your king despite only knowing him for a short time but the way your heart beats for him cannot be overlooked and the feelings you hold for him outweigh the ones you ever held for your Kingdoms King.

However, you knew what would become of you if you did leave and you were unsure if you would ever be ready for that drastic of a responsibility. ‘Be mine’ he had said, and you knew what that entailed – you would become Isenads Queen, and this was and is something you are wholly unprepared for and the fear itself begs you to say no to the King. You were not born for this life like Queen Nearan was and you know you would not fall into that role as gracefully as she had once done. But alas you are selfish, you long for King Isenads heart, dreaming to possess it fully as he posses yours and you wonder if that love is enough to uproot your peaceful life to start a new one, one where you would hold imaginable power. Only time will tell.

°• ♔ •° 

King Isenad had not felt this at peace in a long time, the usual furrow in his eyebrows is smoothed out and his lips that used to be pressed in a fine line are now relaxed. Instead, they twitch up at the memory of last night, your bare form lying against his as your breathing syncs up to his is something he could very much get used to and he hopes by the end of today It will become a regular occurrence – but that is only if you agree to leave with him and for the first time in a while he prays to whatever gods are above that you deem him worthy enough to follow.

However, at this moment he stands in front of the Kings large oak doors that lead him to his office and he prepares himself for the inevitable fight that is sure to ensure once the words in his mind come forth. With a steady breath he raps his knuckles against the door and a voice from the other side welcomes him inside. “To what do I owe the pleasure, King Isenad? Have you changed your mind about your current stance on our alliance?” the smug smile on the Kings face as he questions King Isenad has him wanting to wipe it from his face and he is sure his next words will succeed in that, “I am preparing to leave your Kingdom your highness and it will not be with an alliance” the smirk drops from the Kings face as he studies Isenads expression but not one thing gives away the meaning of his words.

“You will have to forgive me because I do not understand the implications of your words” only then does he let a smile flit against his lips “I have happened to take a liking to the maid you assigned to me, I believe she will be coming with me”, the shock of his words has the King stilling in his chair before he bellows out an unconvinced laugh “you are a lot of things King Isenad but I did not take you for a jester” he says while wiping away imaginary tears. “That is because I am not jesting” all humour is stripped from the Kings face as he takes in the other Kings serious expression and dread weighs heavily on his chest “And what do you plan to do with her if she agrees to leave with you?”, the king ponders on this for a beat before firmly replying “I plan to make her my Queen” and there is no doubt in his tone.

It dawns on the King that you leaving is very much a possible outcome now and the tightness in his chest does not relent. While he may not have been with you, had you in his arms in the late of the night like he once used to, just being able to see you around the castle was satisfactory enough, it satiated the desire to be with you but with the prospect of you leaving, the hollowness that was once filled with your mere presence opens up and leaves a gaping hole in its wake. Grasping onto anything that could deter King Isenad from taking you, he snarls his response “Do you think your kingdom will accept her?”. The King cannot stop the cruel twist in his face as he hears those words, affronted from the accusation “My kingdom and my people will accept whatever I want them to, especially her” he spits. The King bristles at the double meaning behind Isenads words, now knowing without a doubt that he is aware of your previous relationship and the unpleasant way it had ended – the reason it had ended.

He could or rather would not have made you his bride, the fear of his people turning on him and the backlash he would have received not only from his family but from other Kingdoms. They would have seen him as weak, resulting in his current and potential alliances crumbling. He despises the fact that King Isenad does not require alliances to stay the strongest, court whispers have no affect on him and his ability to marry you without large consequences is yet another stab in his heart. King Isenad takes his silence as his answer “just because you were a coward and could not does not mean I will follow your same mistakes; you had your chance” and he has no rebuttal because he knows it is the truth yet he would rather take a sword to the heart than admit it.

“You do not love her” it is the last card he could pull and unfortunately it does not work in his favour, King Isenad stands taut with fists clenched at his side, the picture of your horrified face if you saw what he wanted to do to the King in front of him was his only life line that held him back and in a dangerously calm voice he spoke, “Do not try to tell me how I feel your highness because it will not end well. I suggest you pay more attention to your Queen and mind your tongue when it comes to mine”

°• ♔ •° 

You pace the gardens, searching for answers you do not have yet, but the orchids, pond and weeping willow trees also do not hold the answers you seek – only you do. You decide to take a break from your hurried strides on one of the benches, hoping that the clear sky can offer some insight into your decision but all it offers you is a pigeon that takes a break on a branch before soring off into the sky once again. Maybe that is your answer, you are but a bird that does not require being confined to one place your whole life, you deserve to stretch your wings and fly to wherever your heart desires instead of worrying about if your absence will have any affect. Before you can ponder on this for any longer a voice calls out behind you and your heart stills “Will you go with him?” you cannot see his face yet, but you can imagine his expression just from his tone and you hesitate to answer “I…I have not decided yet”.

You were unaware of the fact that King Isenad was going to make the King aware of his offer and you shudder to imagine the dispute that must have occurred considering that not only was he possibly leaving with the Kings staff but also without an alliance indefinitely. “Do you have no loyalty to your kingdom?” and only then does your head snap back to look at him, reeling at the audacity of his words “loyalty” you scoffed “you dare question me about loyalty”. He clenched his jaw, knowing he was in no place to question you on that, but he could not shake off the unsettled feeling that was consuming him “I am worried”, a mirthless smile settled on your face “that is no longer any of your concern your highness, it has not been for a while” and with that you stood from the bench and with a bow made your way inside in search of a certain King, ignoring the shouts of your name that came from behind you.

-

You hesitate at the threshold of the Kings chamber, building up the courage to knock but before you can the door swings open and startled you jump back. The King looks at you with pleasant confusion “I apologise for startling you my lady, I was just on my way to see you”, “then I guess I saved your highness some time” you smiled which was met with his own. “Would you like to come in?” he asked after a pause, not wanting to cross your boundaries despite you laying in his bed bare the previous night “that would be most appreciated”, you wanted to have this conversation away from prying ears and eyes. The king sat on a chair beside his bed as his eyes tracked your every move and he patiently waited for you to gather your thoughts before you spoke, “I have been thinking about your proposal… and I have come to a decision” you rush out. Despite your quick tone he did not miss a single syllable and suddenly sat straighter, heart thumping and hands trembling in wait of your answer “and what would that be?” his calm tone gave way to a slight tremble, and you quickly put him out of his misery “I would like to come with you”.

Eyes alight, he jumped out of his chair and before he reached you asked “truly?” with a hint of disbelieve, with a brief chuckle you excitedly nod your head while making your way to him, throwing your arms around his neck as you bury yourself into his shoulder and let his scent overtake you. He wasted no time in wrapping his own arms around your waist as he lifts you off the ground and spins you, revelling in the laugh that shakes his whole being, “I had hoped…dreamed of your answer but never let myself believe it, too afraid of the disappointment that would consume me if you were to answer no” he admits.

“You will never have to imagine the disappointment as my answer is yes and will always be yes to you my King” your comforting voice washes over him and it sounds so much like home, “I have so much I want to show you, places I want to take you to and memories to create with you my love”, “and I will impatiently wait for those days” you whisper before drawing your lips to his and he matches your passion with his own, letting his tongue invade your mouth and letting out a content sigh at the contact before he reluctantly draws back with a final peck “we have much packing to do”.

-

Three Years Later

Strong arms wrap themselves around your waist as you gaze into the gardens below your balcony, “the orchids are starting to bloom” “that they are” he whispers against your neck. “But what has my Queen distracted this fine morning?” he questions. His hands make their way to your stomach before he drops to his knees in front of you and places a slow peck to your protruding tummy “I am guessing it is this little scoundrel” he looks up at you, gaze full of adoration and warmth. “He has been kicking a lot more these past few days”, “mmh, he’s going to be a fighter” he states proudly, and you stifle a laugh while responding “like his father then” “and mother” he adds while smiling up at you. You stroke his cheek with gentle fingers, drawing him up to his full height where you place your lips against his, and you think every touch of his lips against yours feels the first.

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED

Note: it’s finally complete !!! I loved writing this series and hope you guys enjoyed their journey and well deserved ending 🤍

;)

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