#the only relief that comes from answering prayers is not getting the notifications anymore

[melodyofthevoid]

Is answering prayers like a drug? Like they have withdrawals if they don't (less power and feel worse) ?????

Less like a drug I'd say and more like constant notifications that it's easier to clear (in some cases) than to ignore.

Mariza would be that bitch with 10k unread emails (it's me I'm bitches)

[hermankopusortizorsumshite]

Phillip Drabble

WARNINGS: Language, and possible trigger warning, mentions of torture

She steps into the diner, eyes scanning the area and when they stop on him her heart falls into the pit of her stomach. With quaking hands, clammy with nerves she sinks into the booth far enough away that he couldn’t see her. After almost a decade of close friendship, he suddenly wasn’t interested in being friends anymore. It hurt more than she’d like to admit, as she ordered a french vanilla latte, that a black coffee wasn’t ordered with it as it had been so many times before.

She listens into the conversation, hearing Phillip chatting up Sky VanderVeen. Hearing his stupid pick up lines made her heart thump off beat. Sky’s laugh was like needles on a chalkboard. After drinking her latte and journaling her day, she stands and hovers at her table for a moment too long, and gets spotted.

Upon seeing her, Phillip springs from his seat and meanders over to her, giving her a light hug. He felt like a long lost childhood blanket, soft and familiar, but the longer he stood there, the more he started to feel like a cactus, pricking her skin.

“You heading out already?” He purrs, his voice washing over her.

“Ye-yeah, got a lot to do today. See ya later PK!” She calls as she dashes out the door feeling suffocated by his very presence. The outside air felt like a drink of cold water to her, calming her fraying nerves and soothing her burning skin.

“Hey! Wanna get a drink later tonight?” He calls from the door. She gives him a quick ‘hang loose’ before disappearing out of sight. Stumbling into the grocery store, she tucks her journal away into her bag before heading to the fresh produce for something to cook later. She packs into a bag a few select veggies before finishing up her minimal shopping.

“Hey Lana, you busy tonight?” Asks Grant, a cashier at the grocery store who’s been trying to date her since high school. Phillip was always at her side, so she didn’t worry about it, but recently he’d gotten quite confident and it was rather unnerving to her.

“Yeah, actually. I’m meeting up with Phillip tonight.” She nods, never making eye contact with him. She found he usually backed off if she didn’t make eye contact. His hand reached for hers and she quickly yanked away. The hand grabbing and helacious flirting had only gotten worse after Phillip became busy.

“Say, how about we go out after that? I know this really great spot. It’ll be fun. I have some friends meeting us up there, you can bring Phillip if you want.” He offers, and a confidence falls over her for a second, and she agrees, telling him Phillip isn’t coming. With wide eyes, he smiles and tells her he’ll see her after her drink with Phillip. With a sigh and a nod, she leaves the market.

“Hey, wanna hang out?” Phillip jogs up to the car as she tucks her couple bags into the passenger seat. Looking up at him across the top of her little red car, she makes eye contact for a moment before dropping her eyes back to the concrete.

“Sure!” She tries to sound happy, but she knew it wasn’t working. Taking a couple strides, he stands next to her and touches her shoulder gently. A tear starts to form in the corner of her eye. He hadn’t made any contact this gentle and meaningful in a long time.

“What’s wrong punkin?” He asks, his nickname for her sounding so harsh in her ears. It was almost as though they were strangers, trying to connect on some level. He’d broken their bridge, and it hurt her to admit it.

“Nothing. You wanna stick around for dinner?” She asks, hopeful for a yes. He pauses, and she feels it. The moment of hesitation. It stings like a thousand bees. “It’s alright. Go out. I have- uh-- other plans anyways.” She stammers out, slamming the door and heading to her side and starting to climb.

“You have plans?” He asks, slightly shocked. The look on his face makes her blood begin to bubble as it boils in her veins.

“Yeah actually. I know, I have plans. I, too, can have a personal life that I don’t feel compelled to tell you. It’s amazing.” She hisses, dropping into the seat and grabbing the door to slam it when he grabs the top of the door, stopping it.

“I don’t know what your problem is, but you can’t be like this. I’m dating, it’s not the end of the world.” He growls, she kicks him in the thigh, making him stumble backwards as she slams the door shut. Just as she punches the lock, the tears fall down her face. Heartbroken, Phillip watches on as she falls apart, knocking desperately against the glass. “I’m sorry. Lana, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. Open the door, please.” His muffled pleas come through the glass, watching on as she bawls and slams her petite fists against the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry too. I’ll see you later.” She murmurs putting her car into drive and leaving Phillip in the parking lot confused and hurt. He thinks back to the earlier meeting, seeing her. She was very off then, she didn’t make eye contact. She was jealous. She had feelings for him and didn’t say anything. As he stood in the parking lot, watching grey ominous clouds eating away the blue, he realizes she’s heartbroken because of him.

As he pulls into her driveway to find her car there, he sighs in relief. They had once shared this house on Deerhill road, but now, his room stood the same. He calls out to her, but no response. Finding it strange, he listens carefully for something. Anything. No sound, not even the low music she always played. Unnerved, he searches the house to find her gone. Tugging his phone from his pocket, he dials her number and it goes to voicemail. Putting it into the back of his mind, he paces for a moment longer before heading out to Marie’s.

“Hey mom! Is Lana here?” He asks, bobbing around her head of hair to see behind her.

“Sorry Phillip, I haven’t seen her all day. You tell her I wanna chat when you find her.” She smiles, giving Phillip a nod before going back to the stack of petitions on her table. Finding it odd, he supposed she was out being social. He decides he’s being a little ridiculous to wig out, so he calms down and heads to Sky’s grandma’s to pick her up and go out. He had promised her dinner, and since he assumed drinks were cancelled, he might as well spend the night with her.

 When she and Grant arrive there’s no one there. Becoming jittery, she watches as he leads her towards a table set in the middle of the room.

“Where is every one?” She asks, her voice quaking. Shooting Phillip a quick SOS text, she checks her phone frquently, and no response. Sending another text, she watches a little green check mark appear, meaning she’d been left on read.

“They’ll be here in a few.” He assures, pulling out the chair for her and pushing it in, she is quickly given a small glass of wine. After about twenty minutes, no one else arrives. Getting weary of the situation, she finally stands and asks where everyone is. She sends another text to Phillip, but he doesn’t answer, again leaving it on read. Her heart sinks.

“It’s just us, honey.” He growls, a dark grin on his face.

“Grant, you said other people were coming. I invited Phillip.” She murmurs, very serious.

“You didn’t. He and Sky are on a date as we speak. He was upset with you.” He smiles, pulling out some handcuffs and metal tools. She tries to sprint but he tackles her, dropping her to the floor and handcuffing her. Dragging her to the pile of pallets stacked against the wall, he tosses her against the scratchy wood. He pulls out a hand gun and sits it against the table as he pulls out the tools. “I’ve been waiting for this day for so long.” He grimaces, giving her another sickening smile.

“Leave me alone!” She shrieks, throwing her shoulders back against the wall. With a maniacal laugh, he digs a scalpel into her thigh. She lets out a scream, her body trembling from the pain.

“Now, don’t talk. Don’t move. It’ll be over soon my dearest.” He murmurs, tucking a piece of hair back behind her ear. He starts his torture on her, his scalpel making little cuts into her ivory flesh, leaving crimson trails following the blade.

“Please, what do you want?” She begs, becoming woozy.

“I have it right here.” He whispers against her skin, leaving her skin crawling like thousands of ants. Taking a deep breath, she kicks out, the metal blade clanking onto the floor. Standing with quaking legs, she starts to run. She sprints towards the closest house, realizing she’s at the old plant in town, she gives a quiet prayer and pounds her legs harder against the pavement. She comes up to a restaurant and sees Phillip sitting against a booth with Sky. She crashes her body against the window to get his attention. Dropping to the ground, Grant’s face comes into view and she gives a shriek, praying Phillip was coming. Grant grabs her quickly and drags her into the alley she’d just come out of, and starts to wail his fists against her body. Unlocking the cuffs, he drags her to the car and shoves her into the backseat. Her body hurts too much to move, to fight. She supposed she should say her last prayers as she would probably die.

“If I can’t have you, my dear, no one will. Especially Phillip Kopus.” He growls, pointing the pistol at her. Her heart pounds against her chest plate, leaving little room for thinking of feelings. All of a sudden, tears fill her eyes, watching as Phillip walks next to Sky, walking straight passed the door, his arm around her shoulder.

“Phillip.” She whispers, sending one more text.

 Punkin: sorry love you

 Phillip’s eyes drop to his phone, another notification. He gets a little agitated, but looks at it. It wasn’t like her to send stuff like that to him. She was very reserved, didn’t usually say ‘love you’ without a little ‘lol’ at the end. Another message comes through as he’s putting his phone into his pocket.

 Punkin: Alley can see you help

 He finds that message to be unnerving. Turning around to face the alley, he sees a dark car shadowed by the building. As if in slow motion, a flash fireworks from the car, followed by the gun shot echoing through the alley, and Sky ducks behind a dumpster but Phillip sprints to the car. He knew she was there, knew she was hurt, but he didn’t think clearly. The man had a gun, but he didn’t care.

He throws a knife into the rolled down window, dropping the man and dragging him from the car and tossing him aside letting him groan and cry out. Diving head first into the car, he gathers her against himself and yanks her from the car; dropping to his knees, hugging her against him.

“You didn’t listen.” She whispers, smiling faintly at him.

“I’m so sorry.” He murmurs, carrying her towards his truck.

“I’m sorry. Won’t make it.” She sputters against him, holding his face in her hand. He stops for a moment, eyes locking onto hers, the tears burning the back of his eyes.

“Don’t say that shit.” He growls, putting her in the car and taking Sky to her car before speeding out towards the hospital. As he drives too fast, running every red light and stop sign, Harold’s Dodge Ram whips out an follows him as the siren wails.

“Phillip-” she chokes out. Hands land on his arm. He shakes his head as he squeals into the parking lot and carries her inside.

“She needs help.” He states, his face collected and calm. Though as he stood there calm, his insides were doing a gymnastics routine all their own, flopping against the walls of his abdomen.

“What happened?” Asks a doctor, grabbing a gurney and helping him put her down gently.

“She was shot, that’s all I know. She was in the backseat of a car and Grant Levaugh had her in his car. He shot her.” He growls, grabbing her hand and pressing little kisses to her hand.

“We’ll take her back for emergency surgery. We’ll know more afterwards. Leave your info at the front desk.” He points haphazardly towards a desk as he rolls her away from him.

 He paces the waiting room for hours, Marie and Junior joining him soon enough. No words are exchanged as they wait impatiently for her results. He goes over his texts from her, all were calls for help and he ignored them. He thought maybe it was a play to get his attention. He’d been so careless as to think it was just a call out.

“Phillip, what happened?” Marie murmurs, carrying a light, sad smile; but her eyes were understanding.

“I got a text. Turned around and boom. The gun went off. Someone said she ran into the window right in front of us. She was so beaten up I didn’t recognize her at first. I just assumed it was a crackhead. It’s my fault she’s like this. I’m sorry.” He whispers as his hands rake through his thick dark hair.

“Don’t blame yourself baby.” She whispers.

“I started the fight. I left her alone. I let her leave alone. I knew he’s been that handsy but I was always with her. I never gave him the chance to do anything to her. The one day I don’t go-” he stops for a moment. It had been months since he last went with her to the store. He’d left her alone with that crazy guy for months, and she’d been safe until she agreed to go on a date. Cops come walking in, eyes locking on Phillip.

“Kid, how long ago did you shoot her?” Asks the captain. Phillip gives a low growl.

“No. It was Grant Levaugh. He’s probably still in the alley. She stabbed him when he shot at her. Good shot.” He gives a low smile.

“We’ll need to talk to her. Is she alright?” He asks. Phillip stalks towards him.

“Yeah, she’s dandy. Just here for a physical.” He barks out, sarcasm dripping off his words as he spins on one heel and stalks away.

“Family for Lana?” A voice calls, and Phillip rushes him. “She’s stable for now, we’ll know more once the tests come back, but for now, she’s stable and asking for you.” He points to Phillip with a little smile. He runs towards the room, swinging the door open to find her propped up a little in bed. He smiles, a tear falling down his cheek.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, reaching towards her to be surprised when she pulls away.

“Don’t.” She growls. “You didn’t answer my texts. Why.” His eyes drop to the floor, the anger and fear mixing together in a stomach turning cauldron.

“I--”

“You don’t even have an answer. You just read them and went on. You just ignored me. He was digging a scalpel into my leg. He was gonna kill me.” He cries out to her, his tears falling down his face.

“I stopped him. I stopped him. I left Sky out on the street and just ran towards you. I told the cops you stabbed him in the neck, you’ll look badass.” Tears fall down both their faces as she gives a little laugh.

“Sky. Everything is about Sky.” She scoffs tiredly, giving him the darkest of looks. His hand gently touches hers and she yanks away from him, giving a cry in pain.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t know. I don’t wanna see you again. Thank you for helping me, I’ll always owe you but don’t come around.” She coughs, trying to hide her wavering voice. She was in pain, but she was done with him. He grips her hand as she tries to pull away, and touches her face gently.

“Listen to me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Give me another chance. Give me one more. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored it.” He mutters, his voice soft and broken, tears falling down his face. Phillip was never one to cry, but here he was. He was heartbroken, falling apart because of his own mistake. He knew he didn’t deserve another chance, but he prayed to every god that somehow she’d give him one more go.

“No. I’m sorry I can’t. I need to learn to stand on my own. I need to be by myself. I love you, Phillip.” She whispers, kissing his cheek.

“I can’t let you do that. I can’t. Not after today, you shouldn’t want to be alone.” He begs.

“Phillip, please leave.” She whispers, leaning away from him. He nods, head down, and walks out. “Phillip, I love you.” He glances up for a moment, eyes red with tears.

“Yeah.” He whispers, heading out without another word. Marie catches Phillip’s arm as he stalks out.

“What happened?” His eyes meet hers and she sucks in a breath, assuming the worst. “What happened?”

“She’s done. With me.” He chokes out, starting towards the door. Marie makes her way into the room, Junior not far behind.

“Honey, how you feelin’?” She asks, looking to her with a smile.

“A little pain, but nothing like telling Phillip to leave.” She murmurs.

“I bet. He was pretty tore up.” Junior coos from behind Marie.

“He tell you what happened?” She asks, lips pursed together. Tipping her head inquisitively, Marie waits for her explanation. “He ignored the first two messages. He finally looked after the last one.”

“Baby, he isn’t perfect, but he’s been pacing that waiting room for two and a half hours non-stop waiting to hear about you. He almost got a speeding ticket, but Harold let him go. He was worried sick. Just give him one more chance.” She pleads, leaving the woman confused and hurt.

“I need to stand on my own, I want to know I have my own back. If he’s gonna marry Sky I need to stand on my own two feet and fight for myself. I’ve been weak for too long, always expecting him to fight for me. I can’t be that weak little girl anymore.” She nods, ready to fight for herself.

“He’ll never look at her the same after tonight.” Marie assures, patting her hand. “He couldn’t make a sentence when he left. He was so upset. You said you didn’t need him.”

“I said I don’t wanna rely on him.”

“I want you to. I want you to rely on me for the rest of our lives. It was wrong to leave you alone like that. I went over it in my head until I couldn’t think straight. I’d do anything for you, leave people in firing zones to save you. I ran head-on towards a guy with a gun because you were in trouble. You don’t have to say anything, but you needed to hear that. I love you. I’m sorry for ignoring the earlier messages. I’ll teach you self defense, you’ll be able to kick my ass. Please, just don’t shut me out. You’ve been one of my only friends for so long.” He presses a soft kiss to her cheek, tapping the end of her nose with his finger before turning to walk out.

“I love you too.” She whispers, reaching towards him. He rushes to her side, grabbing her up into a gentle hug, pressing a kiss to her lips.

[emeraldfic]

09:

Chris

Six Months Later:

It was only a little past noon but here I sit with the spins. I could hardly focus on the coffee table in front of me, my double vision made it hard to count just how many empty bottles were starring back at me. I swear, it’s had to have been at least a week since I’ve slept, and God knows how long it’s been since I’ve actually had a decent meal. The past six months of my life were supposed to be some of the best times of my life, but it only turned out to be some of the most miserable.- So here I am, sulking in my own filth too damn drunk to get my ass off the couch.

About a month after Mimi started crashing on the couch, Stormy left. Without any warning, she packed her shit and never looked back. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was happy that she was getting out there on her own two feet with her own place, but I missed her. I missed her so much.

A few weeks after she had left I did get to see her at a court hearing for Em, but we didn’t speak to each other. The case worker spoke to us about the possibilities before we saw the judge, and afterwards I think we were both too upset to even think about trying to start a conversation. According to the judge, he was so disappointed with us he didn’t have to think twice about his decision. Apparently, we weren’t putting up a good enough fight, or preparing ourselves enough to become successful parents... As hard as it was to hear, I partially understand why he was ruling for her to be fostered out to a family. None of us wanted her to be in custody of the state any longer, and we all wanted her to be happy. Luckily, the foster family was going to be completely open with us and let us have full access to seeing Em as we progressed. 

So many days I woke up and told myself I was going to go see her and show her that I was trying my best to bring her home but I just couldn’t do it. I was too ashamed, and I was so afraid that she would hate me so I just stayed away... 

In one years time, the judge will allow us to stand in front of him again and show him why Emerald should be home with us, and in the mean time he suggested taking parenting classes, and other small steps we could take to really prepare ourselves. Either way, it wasn’t an easy pill to swallow. And, of course, Mimi wasn’t much help at all. She was so distant. Any time I tried to let out my feeling and show her that I was hurting she would shut me out or change the subject. Day by day she pushed me away to the point that I just didn’t care anymore... and then I found out she was having an entire relationship on the side. I’m talking sharing an apartment, going on dates, pictures for social media, the whole nine yards!  The worst part about it, was that she lied about being pregnant. I couldn’t stand to be around her, and she knew it so she was hardly ever home. We both knew things were so wrecked between us, but we never made the moves to actually separate so we stayed as is.

But, of course, when I thought things truly couldn’t get any worse in my life, during my fist game of my pro season, I was so distracted with my head in the clouds because of everything going on that I missed a play and shattered my knee cap trying to recover. I literally tripped over my own two feet thirty minutes into the game and ruined my own career.

It’s been about eight weeks now that I’ve been in and out of rehab and I’m still struggling. Two weeks after I was hurt, when they realized I wasn’t going to be able to return to finish off the season, they sent me a letter saying I was going to be paid out for the rest of my three year contract so they could recruit another rookie to take over for me. And that’s why I sit drowning in alcohol every damn night. I keep trying to push all of this bullshit out of my mind and get some motivation to move my ass from this couch but I just can’t do it. Day in and day out I sit her miserable and alone with the bottle constantly at my lips. But who cares? There’s no one here to stop me so why the hell not just sulk in my sorrows. Stormy left, and after I was hurt, Mimi finally left. Who’d want to be around a sad drunk anyway.

When I couldn’t handle the spins anymore, I rested my head back on the couch. As soon as my eyes closed, my phone started buzzing against the table but I was too drunk to even consider focusing on who was calling. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, a voicemail buzzed in.

---

A splitting headache woke me up a couple hours later. I was sober now so I was able to get myself to my feet to grab my crutch, and make it to the sink to down a tall glass of water. After successfully gulping down some water and advil I hobbled back to the couch and slouched back into the same position on the couch that I’ve kept for the past few weeks.

After feeling some relief to my headache, I finally picked my phone up and started scrolling through my notifications. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach seeing that I had a missed call and a voice mail from Stormy... I was so nervous to play back the voicemail that I had to fight with myself to even do it.

For three minutes and fifteen seconds, I hear Stormy begging for help as some guy is screaming at her and beating on her. I heard every impact of every slap, kick and shove. Someone was hurting my baby and I wasn’t there to help her. I didn’t even know where she was...

After two attempts to call her back with no answer, I sent a quick prayer up to god and pinged her location and there it was... She was only two blocks up from me the entire time.

I called into the police, and by the time I made it there, the entire apartment complex was swarmed with police, a fire truck and an EMS. My heart felt like it was going to beat right through my chest as I crutched my way over  to the officers.

“How can I help you young man?”

“My friend... is she okay? I’m the one who called for her... Please tell me something... tell me she’s okay?”

“I’m not too sure. The EMS rushed her to Oakwood hospital about five minutes ago. She was alone and unconscious. That’s all I know for sure.”

I moved as fast as my knee would let me back to my car and zoomed off to the hospital. I waited almost an hour for anyone to tell me anything about her, and I was starting to feel extremely annoyed.

"Hi, Chris. Thank you for waiting. Stormy is stable now if you would like to see her... but please be sensitive to her state. She is in pain both mentally and physically... but that’s understandable for any grieving mother.”

“What? Wh- what was that?”

“Stormy was about nine days out from her due date... but the baby didn’t survive the incident...”

I could feel myself moving, but my mind was so stuck I didn’t really even realize what I was doing until I found myself standing outside her room.

When I opened the door, she fluttered open her swollen eyes. My heart broke seeing her black and blue. 

“Chris... you saved my life...” she spoke hoarsely. “The EMT said I probably would have bled to death if it weren’t for you...”

“Baby, I am so sorry.” I breathed out. “I should have been there... I should have... What happened?”

“This guy I was seeing, he wasn’t so great. I wanted a family for my baby so bade..”

“You mean my baby?”

“He hurt me Chris. A lot. All of the time. But, things were getting better. We were happy... until I brought up that I wanted to reach out to you. I wanted to tell you about your son so you could be there to meet him when he was born...  He completely flipped out on me! I thought he wouldn’t hurt me being this close to delivering so I tried to really stand my ground with this and I told him weather he like it or not, I was calling you. As your line started ringing he attacked me. They said they weren’t sure if it was the beatings for the stab wound that killed Nathan... but they knew he passed instantly.” She started to sob “For the last hour they removed my dead baby boy from my stomach.”

I finally stepped completely into the room and closed the door behind me. My knee gave out on me just steps away from her bed and my crutch went flying. I fell to the floor and started bawling my eyes out. How could i let any of this happen? 

“I’m so sorry...” I cried lowly. “If I wasn’t such a piece of shit none of this would have happened. It’s all my fault.”

“Chris what happened? Why are you using a crutch?” she asked wiping a tear from her concerned face

“I shattered my knee cap. Ruined my whole career.”

“Oh my God.” she cried “Please come here. I need  you next to me. Please.”

I used the trash can next to me and pulled myself up so I could hobble over to her. I crawled in bed next to her and we laid there silently. For the first time in weeks, I felt a sense of peace. My heart and soul needed her for so long and I didn’t even realize it.

Stormy:

Eight months Later:

I sat in the middle of my over sized bed with only a crisp white sheet covering my naked body. I was tired, but it seemed like no matter how much I slept lately, It was never enough. Feeling exhausted had just become a part of my every day life.

I laid back restlessly and let out a huff of hot air. Nothing seemed to feel right since losing Nathan, and I kept feeling like everything was just so pointless now. Chris tries to perk me up, and I love him for that... it just seems like these days I’m so lost it’s hard to remember who I used to be. 

Chris is seriously gaining the strength back in his knee so he’s really pushing himself in the gym more so I find that I’m alone quite often. I guess I don’t mind it.... or maybe I’ve just become used to feeling lonely.

I heard the front door open and a small smile found my lips knowing that Chris was finally home. For the most part, Chris gives me space and he checks up on me every so often, but it’s never as much as I would like. Since being back here with Chris, we’ve stayed to our separate rooms and haven’t shared any affection. It makes me anxious to think about it... but I keep telling myself that he’s only giving me the space I need and soon we’ll be back in the same bed.

I pulled on a big tee and tip toed out of my room. I followed the sound of running wated to the kitchen and found Chris gulping down a glass of water.

“Man I’m dying.” He said in between breaths “I should not have ran to the gym.”

“You do realize that’s almost a thirty minute run, right?” I teased 

“Yeah I know. But if I want another shot at my career, I need to get back to where I was. I have to push myself as far as I can go.”

I stepped past him to get to the fridge and took in a strong whiff of coconut. I raised a brow at him and leaned in to smell him closer.

“You smell like a female.” I commented blandly pulling out a soda

“Oh, for real? I need a shower.”

Part of me was wishing that he would ask for me to join him but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Losing interest in the soda, I slammed in back into the fridge and stomped off back to my room.

A few hours later, Chris was knocking at my door. I had full intentions of ignoring him but of course he helped himself to opening the door and popping his head in with a smile flashing my way.

“You don’t mind if I head out for a little while do you?”

“Why would I mind?” I snapped  

“Alright, well call if you need me.”

I nodded and he was off. I tossed and turned heavily but some time closer to midnight I finally passed out, and I must have really slept good because the next time my eyes opened it was three the next afternoon. I heard the front door close and I quickly got up to see what was going on. Chris was just walking in and again he was carrying the heavy smell of coconut. I knew I was right about him smelling like a female, and the hickeys on his neck confirmed it all.

“Are you just getting in?” I asked rubbing my sleepy eyes

“Oh... yeah. I’m sorry. I lost track of time.”

“Guess so.” I muttered making it a point to glare at his neck. 

He put his hand over the love bites and rubbed at them as if he were an embarrassed teenager being caught by his mother.

“Storm- Listen, I-”

“Chris, don’t. You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

I smiled briefly at him and walked off but before I could take but three steps, he grabbed my hand and quickly spun me around. My breath hitched as I was brought chest to chest with him

“Stormy you know I care about you...” he reminded softly into my neck

“Stop Chris.” I snapped.

“Come on. Don’t be like that.” He pleaded looking down at me

“Chris you still smell like her!” I griped pulling away from him “I don’t even know why I’m still here.” I spat walking away.

I sat at the edge of my bed and contemplated packing my things and taking off but he and I both knew I had nowhere to go. I’m starting to fear that I won’t ever get back to the old me, and it’s really starting to seem like I’m only going to be miserable here. I pulled out a decent outfit and started myself a shower. I now know I really know I need to get out of here so the first step is getting my job back.

As I was standing in front of the mirror, almost ready, Chris let himself in and watched at the doorway as I played with my curls. He had  this annoying smile on his face like he was so pleased to be taking in the moment and it really irritated me.

“What?” I barked over at him

“Where are you going looking like that?”

“Out. What does it matter?”

“Well, let me drive you?”

“I’m good. I already called for an Uber.”

“Storm, come on. You’re really going to pay for a ride instead of letting me take you?”

“Yeah.” I shrugged “I’m sure you have other things to do. Besides, I won’t be gone long so I don’t need the company.”

“We’re just fuckin’ around.”

“Excuse me?”

“Jada. Her and I are just fooling around. It’s nothing serious between her and I.”

“One, I don’t need to know her name, and two, I don’t care. You don’t need to explain anything to me. You’re grown, and you can do as you please. It has nothing to do with me.”

“Stormy, I thought you came back here so we could work on things, so we could work on us. I thought we were trying to get back to how we used to be but all you’re doing is shutting me out and pushing me away. All you do is act like you don’t care now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Why don’t you go ahead and tell me how I’m supposed to act after losing OUR son” I shouted

“Are you serious? That was months ago!”

I could tell the moment he let that fall from his lips he regretted it., but that didn’t stop the glare I sent him. He wasn’t there through any of what I went though- not the beatings, the tears, the fear, losing my son- nothing. 

I knew my Uber would be pulling up any moment so instead of staying and entertaining anymore of his bullshit I waked right past him and slammed the door as hard as I could.

--

When my tired feet trudged through the front door, it was just past ten. I’d spent most of my day earning some money. After successfully snagging my job back I was able to pick up a few tables tonight and picked up some good tips before my actual schedule started on monday.

As soon as the door closed behind me, my smile dropped. Chris stood there with a hand at his hip looking upset. I rolled my eyes at him and tried to walk around him but he stepped in front of me blocking my way.

“What? What could you possibly want from me right now?”

“It’s late. You had me worried.”

“Whatever. I’m going to bed.” I grouched

“Stormy, what the fuck is your problem? Why don’t you talk to me instead of running away like a little girl!”

“You know what, Chris fuck you!” Leave me alone! Go do whatever you please, and I will do the same!”

“Why are you being such a fucking bitch?”

Hearing that word fly out of his mouth sent me into a fit of rage. I lunged at him with full force and started punching at him as hard as I could. He blocked a majority of the hits from his face but took a few to the chest and arms. My adrenaline was pumping so fast I didn’t even realize he’d grabbed my hands so I would stop hitting him until I felt them being pinned to the front door above my head.

I blinked away the blurry rage vision and got a good look at his face. He didn’t even look mad. He was looking down at me with low eyes, and his bottom lip tucked between his teeth.

My chest heaved up and down as I was still trying to catch my breath. We stood there silently just looking at each other. I could see behind his eyes that his thoughts were brewing but I was too nervous to say anything.

After a minute or so, he freed his right hand and held both my arms with just his left. his right hand found my face and he held my chin. He brought my face up so I was looking right at him before he spoke.

“Don’t you ever in your life put your hands on me again.” he muttered lowly. “Do you understand me?” I nodded my head lightly in response “Good.”

He tightened the grip on my chin and leaned in to kiss me, and my legs instantly went limp. The only response was a low moan as my body gave in to him.

“You are so fucking sexy when you’re mad.” he grumbled between gritted teeth

“Chris...” my voice was low but it was enough to bring a smirk to his face.

He let go of my arms and in one swift motion he picked me up. My legs instantly wrapped around his waist as he started kissing me again. Next thing I knew I was laying across his bed as he was crawling up between my legs.

“Where were you all day?” he asked paying special attention to my neck making sure to suck as hard as he could. “Answer me.” he growled. I could feel the love bites swelling with size.

“You think you’re the boss now?” I finally spoke up with some sass.

He reached down to my shorts and ripped off the button quickly pulling them down with one quick swipe. He raised a brow when he realized I wasn’t wearing any panties. He frees himself from his shorts and without hesitation, slammed into me. Stroke after stroke he went harder and deeper.

“Keep it up and I’ll make sure you can’t walk right for the next month.”

“Alright, alright.” I moaned finally feeling him start to slow down “I was at work. I got my old job back.”

“You’re at work in these skimpy ass clothes with no panties on?” he asked going harder making my eyes roll back “Answer me!”

“I’m sorry baby.” was all I could say though my moans. This rough side of Chris was so sexy, and I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer. “You better pull out” I warned as I felt myself ready to cum

His sexy groans in my ear and the hard strokes had me damn near screaming as I came. My legs shook as I rode out my high and soon after I could feel him swelling, I leaned up to kiss him as my hand tangled in his curls to give them a tug. I felt his strokes slow as he became lost in the kiss only to speed back up for a brief moment. He let out a husky groan against my lips before collapsing next to me. He kept me close as he continued to kiss me slowly, stopping every few moments to bite on my bottom lip

Next thing I knew, I was waking up in the dark. My heart thumped for a few seconds trying to recollect where I was.

“Chris?”

I felt disappointed to wake up alone but it was something I’d become used to. I stood to my feet and stretched my sore, tired body. I groaned the first few steps towards the door. 

“Where you going baby girl?” Chris’ groggy voice called out before he turned on the lamp

“I thought you left...”

“I’m right here baby.”

I had so much I wanted to bring up but right now, I just enjoyed the moment- to be here with him.I crawled back into bed next to him and snuggled down. Nothing else mattered right now. Just him and I... What we’ve really needed for so long.