#the military gang are a found family tbh having to protect one another I love them

[ladychandraofthemoone]

Logically and realistically, American engines shouldn't be on Sodor (or the British Isles for that matter) because of gauge issues (regauging their wheels for British gauge is a complex matter), loading gauge (their size meant they're just going to crash into the first platform, tunnel, or bridge they ran into), and weight (they're just going to break the rails and derail). So what are the stories of American engines like Hank, Connor, and Caitlin? Were their basis changed or not?

hi 👋

their basis were changed, I know I’ve seen some takes on them being able to work as their current forms but I got inspired by other folks. Caitlin is a streamlined LMS Princess Royal Class/Coronation Class while Connor is a LMS Royal Scot Class, I just think they’re very pretty plus fitting their rivalry with the Gresley. (Gordon, Spencer, etc)

they’re owned by the earl and often do passengers or Railtours, they still have their energetic and excitable personalities though Connor is a bit more cautious and struggles to let himself loosen up wishing to keep his reputation intact making seem quite snooby but nah he’s just anxious meanwhile Caitlin is just one of my adhd icons she means well

Meanwhile Hank is basically everyone’s uncle along with Porter and Sam, dutifully serves anywhere he is at and is a USATC S160 since they went all over the world, he Sam and Porter basically raised Sheffield, Neville, Rosie and Molly when they all came to the NWR to help with the war effort and tried his best to train and protect them mostly from their engine colonel’s wrath right now he’s switching between chilling at museums or hopping about place to place

he is very loud and proud of his heritage, and talks endlessly about his adventures abroad, from which he has learnt many things like with Sam and is never afraid to give others advice (in his own jolly way), and rarely doesn't have a smile on his face.

[treh-co]

FAHC Headcanons

So I feel like a good amount of my hcs are a lot different than other people’s??? And I’ve done a LOT of thinking abt them so! Here’s kind of like a masterlist of my general hcs! I’m just gonna go through this person-by-person.

(This got Kinda Long, so it’s under a read more. Sorry mobile users,)

Geoff

Obviously, he’s the one who started The Fakes. Basically, he went into the military after high school, came back and was like “Damn. Hated that” and then some old friends are like “Hey wanna do crime” and he was like “Fuck it”. That ended up being the beginning of The Roosters, which would grow to become the most powerful crime syndicate in Los Santos.

However, when they started shifting more towards managing the organizations they controlled, Geoff felt like he was missing the hands-on action. With the others’ blessing, he branched out to create his own gang under the syndicate, which would be the Fakes.

Geoff was the acting boss, supervisor, and manager of the Fakes for many years, while still juggling responsibilities with the Roosters. After a while, he felt the stress of it all begin to weigh on him, so he decided to pass some of it off. He made Trevor the acting supervisor of the crew’s regular business, while he handed management of behind-the-scenes matters to Lindsay. He’s still technically the boss, though, and any Big decisions go through him.

Jack

Jack actually met Geoff when they were in the military together. While he was a journalist, she was a pilot, and while she’d always been a sort of straight-laced, innocent kid growing up, she discovered that she actually loved flying. More than that, she loved the excitement of a chase or a gunfight. When she got back, she found herself bored.

That was around when Geoff called her up with an offer- one that not only allowed her to get back in the cockpit, but promised twice the action way more money than she ever got in the military. Of course, she said yes.

Jack’s main role in the crew is transport and evac. She can fly or drive anything, from a city bus to speedboat to a cargobob. Unofficially, she’s a sort of second-in-command for Geoff. He usually discusses any business stuff with her before making decisions. She’s also probably the most capable medic in the main crew, though she’s not an expert, and will pass off the responsibility if they have access to someone more formally trained.

Gavin

I imagine Gavin comes from a criminal family. Nothing exciting; standard white-collar stuff, embezzlement and fraud. They were substantially wealthy from their exploits and sent him to private school and all that, but Gavin found it all horribly boring. By the time he reached high school, he was experimenting with every type of low-level crime he could think of; theft and vandalism, all that shit.

Eventually, his habit of making enemies got him in over his head, and eventually he found himself in serious hot water. Out of options, he forged some papers and got a flight out of Britain. He’d far from learnt his lesson, though. He didn’t plan on cleaning up his act, and he decided to hide in plain sight, in the most crime-infested city America had to offer- Los Santos.

That was where he met Geoff. He was working odd jobs around the city, still new to America (and, though he’d never admit it, pretty lost and scared- he’s only sixteen). He gets hired by some asshole to take out Geoff, and he isn’t familiar enough with the scene to know better, so he goes for it. When Geoff has the knife out of his hands and a gun pointed at his head in less than two seconds, he’s pretty sure he’s fucked- but Geoff doesn’t shoot. Because fuck, how the hell is he supposed to take out this scrawny, terrified kid? So he talks to him instead, and when he finds out that Gavin has no loyalties to the guy that hired him and has a much broader skill set than Geoff would have expected, he decides to take him in.

As for my take on The Golden Boy- I personally don’t see Gavin as a hacker, and tbh I personally Cannot picture him suave enough to be some smooth-talking informant. In my mind, he’s sort of the crew’s everyman. He does a little bit of everything- stealth, dealing, hacking, fighting- he isn’t really an expert at any of it, but if you need something done, he probably knows enough to help. 

Michael

Michael was raised in New Jersey with his brothers. His life was fairly normal, to be honest. He got a gig as an electrician, and it sucked, but he was doing okay. And then his mom got sick, and things started falling apart. Long story short, he ended up turning to more unsavory ways to get the money she needed for her treatment. He found out that he was pretty good at making bombs, and even better at cracking skulls. 

Michael only ever dipped into those practices to help his mom, but once you go in, it’s pretty hard to get out. He was running with a gang in New Jersey for a long time, until one day, their leader sold them out to the cops. He and some friends ran away to Los Santos, but still got caught, and suddenly he was locked up in a LS prison.

It was in prison that he met this guy named Gavin. After bonding through some good old fashioned prison fighting and saving each other’s asses, Gavin told him that he’s part of a powerful gang that was planning on breaking him out. He said that he needed help with the prep work they  needed done on from the inside, and if Michael helped him, they’d break him out with Gavin. Against every instinct, Michael agreed, and they broke out together. After they got out, Geoff decided to offer Michael a job- partly because he was impressed with him, and partly because Gavin wouldn’t stop whining until he did.

Michael is great for a steady gun or a good fight on missions, but his expertise is in demolitions. He’s self-taught, but he’s one of the best in the business, and he has fun with what he does.

Lindsay

Lindsay has always thrived on chaos. This presented itself more innocently in her childhood, but once she reached her teen years, it quickly spiraled into something more dangerous. She was always looking for something more risky, more exciting. Speeding, then shoplifting, then vandalism; it was never enough.

That being said, it shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise when some friends easily talked her into her first burglary. From then on, it was an easy slide into the more serious world of crime. She was a gun for hire by twenty, had long left her well-meaning parents behind, travelling with no real goal and making both allies and enemies everywhere she went.

When she cropped up in Los Santos, trailing gunfire and spray-paint cat tags where she went, Geoff knew she was meant to be one of them. He hired her for some odd jobs at first, just to make sure; but just a few looks at her style proved his theory. He offered her permanent position and she took it on a whim.

True to her role, Lindsay is the crew’s wildcard. Sort of like Gavin, except her skills are more specifically in the “fuck shit up” range.

Jeremy

Born and raised in Boston, Jeremy had a not-so-great home life and started hanging with the wrong crowds from a young age. He grew up through fistfights and car wrecks, and by the time he was grown, he didn’t really know anything else. He was actually pretty close with his gang back home. They were the ones who taught him the importance of loyalty; how important it is to have people you can trust. Nothing good lasts forever, though. When another gang- much bigger, much stronger- started picking them off, their leader made the tough choice to disband. Despite communal reluctance, she got them all set up to go underground in different parts of the country. Jeremy was sent to Los Santos.

While there, Jeremy saved a boy he saw being jumped in an alley. The boy turned out to be a hacker and information dealer named Matt. Jeremy was homeless at the time, and Matt offered to let him stay at his place as thanks. Somehow, this quickly turned into them being roommates and friends, and then partners, when they decided it would be a good idea for Jeremy to tag along on Matt’s deals for protection.

While helping Matt, Jeremy made a name for himself in underground fighting rings, known by his half-joke moniker “Rimmy Tim”. One night, a non-regular sat in to watch the fight, and afterwards approached him with an offer. The stranger was one Geoff Ramsey, and the offer was for a job with the Fakes. Jeremy happened to know who the Fakes were- and be a big fan of their work. He was nervous, but he accepted the offer, and it only took a few weeks for them to essentially pull him in.

Jeremy is, in simple terms, the crew’s muscle. He drives, he shoots, and most importantly, he can fight. If anything needs doing that involves those three things, he’s good for it.

Matt

Matt grew up in a small, boring town with a small, boring family. He filled his boredom with the digital world. Eventually, he started diving deeper; learning how to code, and then how to program, and then how to hack. By the time he was seventeen, Matt was going by the alias of “Axial” on dark-web forums, dealing information and breaking into everything from private systems to locked-down, international servers.

After turning eighteen, Matt decided he was sick of his home town and used the money he’d gained from his illegal business to disappear and move somewhere more exciting- Los Santos. After a few months of living there, he met a boy named Jeremy, who saved him from a deal gone wrong. He liked Jeremy, and it seemed like Jeremy liked him; despite the suspicions they both probably should have had in their lines of work, they became fast friends and roommates, deciding to work together.

When Jeremy got hired by the Fakes, Matt was disappointed, but resigned to the fact that he would be back on his own. Until he was pulled away from his work one night to a knock at the door, and found the Vagabond there, ready to take him to the penthouse. Apparently, the crew had been in need of a hacker for a while; and a certain new member had put in quite the good word for him.

Matt is, obviously, the crew’s hacker. He doesn’t really go on the field too much; he’ll tag along if there’s a proximity requirement on his part, or if a bunch of people are unavailable and they really need a backup driver or something, but for the most part he operates from the penthouse. He’s usually on comms during the heists to give directions or help with security or recon in real-time.

Trevor [TW: Sex work mention]

Trevor grew up in a trailer park in Blaine County, raised by a single mom. She loved him, but was involved with all the wrong people. When an altercation with an ex-boyfriend ended up deadly, fourteen-year-old Trevor up and ran as fast as he could, and ended up in the streets of Los Santos. He got by with begging and soup kitchens at first, but he started picking up tricks, on his own or from others he watched. Pickpocketing, manipulation, shoplifting; whatever he could use to get a bit of an advantage, he took.

It was just a while after he turned eighteen that a man he met outside a bar proposed he enter a different “path” of business. Trevor was reluctant, but he was also desperate, and the man made a lot of promises. He ended up spending two years as a prostitute, until one night he’d had enough. He killed the man who’d been selling him and ran once again. 

Once again faced with life on the streets, he returned to what he knew he was good at- lying and stealing. He came up with the alias of Reached, and became a thief and informant by commission, fairly well-known. He became close associates- maybe even friends, if such a thing existed in Los Santos- with another duo, Rimmy Tim and Axial. One day, they gave him a call- saying their new employers needed someone with his skills on a job. To make a long story short, when the Fakes met Trevor, he was pretty much already a part of the team.

Trevor is a thief by trade. Stealth, deception, and stealing is what he does best. He’s a master lock picker and an expert at slight of hand, and is far too good at putting on an innocent face. 

Alfredo

Alfredo was raised by a big, loving family; but people are a product of their environment. A combination of wrong place, wrong time, and peer pressure had him messing around with local gangs far before he should have even seen a gun. But Alfredo always had a knack for precision, and he had the aim of a trained vet, and he was probably a little too busy being cocky to understand the risks he was taking.

Eventually, those risks caught up with him. He was in a lot of hot water and he knew his family was in danger. He couldn’t let them get hurt on his account, so he ran to protect them. He considered turning a new leaf when he got to Los Santos, but quickly realized that if that was the plan, he’d picked the wrong place to do it. It wasn’t long before he was dragged back into work as a gun for hire.

He was good- really good, and when some hot shot rolls into the city with a sniper and skills like that, it shakes things up, and word gets around. Word even gets to some of the most powerful men in the city- including Geoff Ramsey, who decides that if this kid is really as good as he’s heard, there’s no way he’s letting him get snatched up by anybody else first. His invite to Alfredo is more short-notice than it was with the others, but he and the crew click in about two seconds flat, so it really doesn’t take a lot of convincing.

Obviously, Alfredo is their sniper. He’s a hell of a shot with any gun, and can do fine with up-close combat when he needs to, but he’s at his best when he’s giving cover from a rooftop.

Fiona

Fiona comes from one of France’s most infamous criminal organizations. Her parents run the group, and she was raised, essentially, as the heir to the business. She’s been trained since she was a child to be the best at any skill she might need. An array of languages, hand to hand combat in five forms, dozens of weapons, from blades to melee to guns- most of all, she studied deception.

There was a small problem, though. Fiona appreciated everything her family did for her- but there was also no way in hell she was just going to drag on the family business. She wanted to make a name for herself, and she wanted more than the stuffy, starch-white world they were giving her. So she ran away to America. She spent a few years travelling, testing out different paths. At one point, she ended up in long-term employment with a gang. Except she ended up hating said gang, and she wanted out.

Luck happened to be on her side. One day, she was told that they’d kidnapped two people who happened to be members of a powerful crew called the Fakes. Fiona knew the second she laid eyes on the two- a strangely similar looking pair named Trevor and Alfredo- that they were her ticket out. She made a deal with them, that she’d let them escape if they took her with them and kept her safe, and the three of them had a wild adventure that lasted about a week, and ended in the three of them strolling into the penthouse, ragged and exhausted but looking like they’d just had the time of their lives, with Trevor and Alfredo proudly declaring that Fiona was now their newest member.

Fiona is a master of disguise. She’s good at a lot of things, but putting on an act is what really sets her apart. Give her a wig and a makeup kit and she can turn herself into a new person in five minutes flat- complete with an accent and everything. She’s the go-to when the crew need undercover jobs done.

[parsleybabe]

Home Made Simple - S01E04 - the biggest WTF yet

OMG, you guys, “masculine purple” Deco Lady is back!!!!! This one is gonna be good, I can already feel it. She also brought along the Tool Lady from episode one, and, of course, Host Lady and Chef Guy.

Today’s family is a mom, a dad, and their three kids (two boys, the oldest and youngest, and a girl, the middle child). They want to give the kids two new rooms, because so far they’re sharing one room that’s getting too small for all three of them. They actually seem to be a really sweet family, the parents are clearly hard working and the kids are very well mannered and sweet too.

If un-glorifying military-patriotism triggers you, please don’t click on the read more.

 So, here are my personal highlights of this episode:

 The mom is a full time student, the Dad is a police officer and also a soldier. Throughout the whole episode, his military service is a huuuuuuge talking point. I don’t know if this is the case, but I would bet that this episode aired on Veteran’s Day. It’s a very typically patriotic, very American episode, to say the least. People from anywhere else in the world, even military people, probably can’t relate to any of this. I definitely can’t.  (I just checked after finishing the whole episode, and, yes, s01e04 aired on November 13th 2011, two days after Veterans Day, surprise surprise) 

So, the gist is, the renovators want to help the family and make them feel comfortable before the dad is deployed to Afghanistan. Now, again, I’m not American and fail to understand how ANY sort of home renovation is going to make the family feel better about the dad being deployed for a third time for 1-2 years. There is no connection. Except maybe that the dad’s gonna feel better, knowing that the kids’ room situation is solved. But, for the family… Nope.

Okay, so Host Lady explains, the little girl is getting her own room, and the dad is “sacrificing” his “man den family room” for that. Aren’t “man den” and “family room” mutually exclusive? I’m confused. But I’m super happy that the gender bias found its way back in. Yaaay. Because when nobody in the whole family has their own personal room except for the dad who isn’t actually there for most of the time anyway, then giving that room up is a huge sacrifice, obviously.

The mom explains that the kids deserve more space and the parents want to display their accolades a bit more, but don’t have room to do that in the small room they are currently sharing. She talks about all three kids, but Host Lady chimes in that the youngest boy is “going to become a little man” much like the older brother who is now in middle school, and they get to move to the end of the hall, i.e. have a lot more freedom. She then adds, while grinning at the dad, that the little girl is “getting the eagle watch”, and that “he’s keeping an eye on her”. They laugh about it and the dad explains, he wants her to be more in the rear of the house, which I personally feel translates to making her feel safer and more protected despite her being alone in a room now, but Host Lady obviously takes it to mean that girls and boys get different treatment. She even stresses this more a bit later, when she explains that the girl’s room will be “closer to her mom and dad” and she will be”under the watchful eye of her father.” Now, sorry, but wtf? First of all, why not the watchful eye of BOTH her parents? And, secondly, hadn’t we already established that the dad is gonna be away in Afghanistan soon for a very long time?

When Host Lady tells the renovator gang that the girl is getting her own room, Deco Lady instantly goes, “She’s daddy’s little princess! She needs her own princess room” and didn’t I call it? Masculine purple always delivers. Doesn’t matter that the family hasn’t once mentioned anything about princesses at all. They said that she likes butterflies, and that’s it. But, okay. This instantly turns into a “butterfly princess room”.

As for the boys, there’s gonna be extra attention payed to their studies. They’re gonna get some work space and Host Lady points out how smart they are. Which is fine and all, commendable actually, just not when put as a contrast to the girl. WTF? It’s even sadder when they later show that the girl ALSO has several academic achievements, even a certificate of being “student of the year” to be put up on the wall, they just didn’t feel like mentioning it about her before. (But they do later, thankfully, although, only while talking about “the kids”, the only reason the viewers know it’s hers is because they hang the certificate in the girl’s room)

Chef guy comes in to show the mom “easy recipes that she can make in one day and have on reserve for the rest of the week.” I’m not really sure why he needs to show her that. Being a student, mom of three, and basically “single” most of the time - I’m sure she already got those down to a T.

They’re cleaning out the man den room and we’re getting a Swiffer Sweeper cameo. Ha! Can’t forget the product placement after all.

And then the kids come in. Host Lady immediately puts her hands on the girls head and gives me the creeps. The kid looks quite confused as well. Host Lady also carries around the youngest boy and talks about wanting to “put him in my pocket and carry him around with me all day.” Yikes. When we see her talk to him, he doesn’t answer just slowly backs away from her. OMG, why do they let her do that??? And when they all march out of the room, they do it military style, singing “Left. Left. Left, right left.” This is so massively creepy from any non-American standpoint. They are kids ffs.

Okay, now we got Deco Lady and the parents sitting at a table talking about what to do with the lamp in the girl’s room. And then mom and dad are left alone to craft butterflies to turn it into a “butterfly chandelier”. Which is cool, and they’re working together as they should. Except then we see Host Lady who exclaims cheerfully that the dad “would do ANYTHING for his little girl, even cutting out little tiny butterflies.” I don’t see any reason why that needs to be brought up. It’s not a major achievement for a father to do something for their kid. It’s not an achievement for a man to be crafting butterflies. It’s certainly not necessary to point this out so excitedly while not mentioning the mom at all who is doing exactly the same work. I’m kinda speechless at this point tbh.

Ohhh, now we’re back on discussing colors. So the boys love blue and green. And that’s immediately accepted by everybody, especially Deco Lady. No arguments over having to find a masculine color this time. I’m not saying it’s gender bias. Except it totally is.

In the man den there used to be a shelf containing the dad’s military memorabilia and honors. Host Lady is in awe when she sees it, and the renovators want to do something with this, even though the episode is supposed to be about the kids’ rooms. So, as a little side project, Deco Lady finds the most prominent spot in the whole house, the one where everybody always walks past and where your eyes fall on immediately when entering the house. She wants to put the military honor items there to display like in a museum and calls it a “pride wall” and “what this family is all about”.  And… I don’t know. My issue with this is: Firstly, all those items are the dad’s and have nothing much to do with the family, except that they’re a reminder of how often the dad is away. Secondly, the items are more about the country than they are about the dad as a person. Which, again, massive patriotism, just seems incredibly wrong for anybody who is not American, because the whole world is aware that patriotism so easily shifts into extremism. And shit like that creeps us the fuck out. And, thirdly, they want to do this as a surprise and won’t tell the dad about it. Which, okay, I get it, but again, this is sensitive stuff, and it feels like they should have asked if it’s okay to display it at all, because the people who will see this the most are the mom and the kids.

Oooh, they bring in Chef Guy to meet the mom and do so in front of an opened cabinet of brand name cleaning products. Perfect, he’s gonna feel right at home. Anyway, he’s gonna teach her to do a chicken casserole, because you cook it once and have enough left over for the whole week. Because, apparently, eating the same stuff again and again all week is a dream come true. In order to cook this, he buys a ready-made rotisserie chicken and shows the mom how to tear it apart and is surprised that she’s “a pro at this” even though she JUST told him seconds ago, that she always does the cooking for the whole family. They put chicken meat (the don’t use the skin, the beautiful crispy flavorful skin, I’m gonna cry), pasta, leek and breadcrumbs into the casserole. I have no idea why it’s gotta be bland on bland on bland on bland, and why Chef Guy has to explain this woman how to cook chicken in the first place. He doesn’t even season anything, ffs.

OMG, now he’s showing her “how to present this”, and basically pulls out a piece of the casserole and drops it in a freaking bowl. It’s not a joke, he really does. He calls it a “homemade masterpiece” but it looks like an ACCIDENT. He does sprinkle parsley on top, which is the only credit I give the guy for this whole episode.

Deco Lady is back and wants plastic flowers glued to a ready-bought lampshade, since “princesses love flowers”. Yes, plastic glued to store bought lamp. Again with the non-inventiveness… And the person who gets to do this is the dad so she adds with a wink, “You can thank me later, for giving you another really masculine project.” I think I’m gonna change her name to Gender Bias Lady officially now. Because she’s clearly in a league of her own. They do craft together and the dad pretends for a second that the glue gun is a real gun and puts it in his pretend holster (he is both a policeman and soldier, after all). To which Gender Bias Lady says, “You gotta turn it into a man thing, dontcha?” He is about as speechless as I am, because we all know that SHE started it, but she just says, “Okay, whatever gets you through the project.”

They do talk about the kids and how well they’re doing in school and socially and Gender Bias Lady states how that’s gotta make the dad proud, and he flat out tips his hat to the mom, because “she stays. She’s on them.” He also mentions how she used to work and go to school at the same time while being a mom and still doing it all and being awesome. And, I can’t believe that he is genuinely the only person on the whole episode who actually points to that. Gender Bias Lady replies solely with, “When do you leave?” and asks him how he got used to it and how hard it’s got to be and how he decided to join the military and how the family is so proud of him. I mean, yeah, sure, but she just nixed the mom completely as if she wasn’t important enough to mention. WTF?

Next comes the best recap ever: Host Lady explains how the dad “is the rock of the family” and how they “wanted to give his family something that would honor him”, so they’re showing the mom (who has been cooking all her life) “how to cook some simple recipes she can make on her own” – I’m not even going to declutter that load of bullshit.

Now Chef Guy is showing the mom how to make puff pastry pockets. Again, a recipe that “you cook on Sunday and then eat for the rest of the week”. 🤢 He lets the mom “season” the filling with salt and pepper to give it “a little flavour”. Again, no fucking spices whatsoever. How is this even a chef? (It’s also sadly cliché, because Chef Guy is a white dude and the mom is black). Anyway, he says they need to clean up and I’m all prepared for the product placement, but it doesn’t come. I’m shocked.

Next focus is on the girl’s room. They take curtain rods from the previous “den, the man room, the man cave” as Gender Bias Lady points out and spray paint them silver. They pretend it’s difficult (fun fact: it’s not). Also, the daughter gets a canopy over her bed which will be pink. They staple the curtain into the wooden frame, making me wonder how they are ever going to be able to take it down to wash it, but… maybe princesses are so clean that they don’t need their fabrics washed?

Tool Lady and the mom are working on the military shrine. Tool Lady is the only person to ask the mom if she’s afraid when the dad’s away in Afghanistan. And she admits she is, but instantly goes on to point out that he’ll be safe, because he’s careful. Sadly, that’s not how war works.

Gender Bias Lady and the dad are working on the girl’s dresser by repainting the existing furniture “a beautiful lavender” (hey, purple’s not a problem if you put it into a girl’s room, riiiiight?) and are decorating the edges with nailheads to make it look more cute or whatever.

They’re now hanging up the butterfly chandelier. It’s basically a normal lamp, and they put butterflies on strings around it. It’s supposed to look magical and cute, but it actually looks a bit like the butterflies are exploding out of the lamp… think horror movie insect infestation.

Okay, final touches, Host Lady and Gender Bias Lady are in the girl’s room and are decorating it with pink clothing items and fashion accessories. “It should look like she was playing dress up!” Gender Bias Lady chimes. Because clearly, while the boys’ room has a racing and basketball theme (yay sports!), what would be better for the girl’s room than a fashion theme? That woman really lives up to her newly given name.

Oooh, and then Host Lady plugs in some Febreze Noticeables to “get it smellin’ like a little girl’s room in here!” And Gender Bias Lady replies with, “’Cause it’s been boys, boys, boys, boys!” Do little boys smell different than girls? They probably do after a while of not washing the canopy curtains, I guess.

Montage time: the girl room is all pink, purple, silver, gold and sparkly. There’s also frills and arabesques and ballerina statues. There’s a bed and a dresser and a big mirror and a lounge chair. It looks nice, but a bit too overly pink, if you ask me. Also, there’s no desk for the student of the year. Nope. But okay. The boys’ room is blue and green an there’s a freaking sea horse on one of the beds (and I am freaking jealous, I want one too!). All in all, the boys’ room is a lot more colorful, there are red, orange and yellow specks of color added in everywhere, despite the overall blue-green theme. There’s also a teddy bear, a stuffed dog, a drum set, a basekt ball wall, books, games, colors to paint with and two desks to do homework on… It looks like a kid’s room that I would have loved to have as a little girl.

They show the kids their rooms, the girl room first. And while the little girl is mostly excited to “have my own room now”, Host Lady turns to the boys and asks, “I bet you’re bored of pink aren’t you?” Wow, aren’t we all… The boys’ room is very well received all around, and when they leave it to have a look at the military wall, they have to call the girl to follow, because she seems most excited about the boys’ room. Well. Tough luck.

Before talking about everybody’s reaction to the military wall, I wanna talk about what happens at the end of the episode as a big surprise: The “family” receives a video message from John Travolta. I put the word family in quotation marks, because Travolta actually addresses the dad only, and talks about how the family’s getting renovations so HE can enjoy it once he comes back from deployment. And then the dad gets a signed autograph from Travolta too. You might be wondering how Travolta fits in there, but it’s actually a no brainer, because I just found out that the show used to air on OWN (the Oprah Winfrey Network), and Scientology has been trying for decades now to convert Oprah by giving her exclusives and special treatment and whatnot. Anyway, it’s all about the kids’ rooms, which is why the dad gets a note from Travolta. Makes sense, right?

Anyway, back to the Military wall. When the dad gets to see it, he calls it a “shrine” (creepy to any non-Americans, but accurate). And, to be fair, he does say he likes it, but he also states that it makes him think of every time he went to Afghanistan and that he’s going to think of his fallen brothers when he walks past it and that it makes him think of going back there again. Which leads to the whole family getting teary eyed in front of the wall. Very clever thing to put right in the center of the house. And then Host Lady starts glorifying military service and points out how “sacrificing so much for all the right reasons” is such a great thing and that the renovators hope the family will keep going and be hopeful. The mom then even says that now the kids can come stand in front of the wall whenever they miss their dad while he’s away on deployment. There isn’t a single picture of the dad on that wall btw. Just medals and flags and certificates (and, at the end of the episode, also the Travolta autograph.).

I don’t wanna step on anybody’s toes here, but does nobody see how sad and impersonal and wrongly-focused this is????? I don’t  even blame the show for doing this, because this shit is ALL OVER any sort of American media. You get this in every movie, on every TV show – drama or documentary -, every news station regardless of political point of view. This is everywhere. The US media is filled with extreme patriotism that glorifies soldiers into heroes so you forget that first and foremost they’re people.

Sorry to end this on such a depressing note, but… I just can NOT for the life of me understand how so many people have been brainwashed into thinking this is normal or this is right. But, hey, happy renovated home y’all!