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itsmarsss · 4 months ago

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Scandalous [Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas] (Helluva Boss) pt. 9 - If I Had a Nickel

pt 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | 1st bonus | pt. 6 | pt. 7 | pt. 8 | pt. 9 | 2nd bonus

Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn’t exactly considered classy, Stolas.

If Blitzø had a nickel for every ex of one his friends’ he’d fucked he’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?

Word count: 6,117

Warnings: since it’s something concubi need to survive, having sex with humans for that need is not considered cheating between them in of itself. doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel shitty. you’ll get this when you get to it. this takes place during spring broken but I’ve already said do not take the shows timeline as entirely the same as my own lol. Spring broken will have happened after Exes and Ohhs but Exes and Ohhs will have happened before Ozzie’s in this fic. Kind of sexual/physical assault of Moxxie (same that happens in the episode, nothing graphic or anything), pretty tense chapter, Verosika is very much a bitch here but don’t worry abt it.

If you were to say so yourself, things have been pretty okay the past few weeks, which is a great freaking accomplishment, especially with Spring Break coming up.

Apart from being emotionally hard, considering the... well, the memories tied to it, Spring Break just makes you anxious, more than ever now that you actually had access to the human world during it with Stolas’ Grimoire.

… Which is the exact concern Ozzie expressed during the last sleepover you had at his place the previous week.

But you got this under control.

Of course, you'd still be careful, planning on staying in the office more often until you could find yourself less nervous about going up, and you made sure to tell him that.

Besides, there's plenty things more fun and more important for you to think of. You've been hanging out with Blitzø a lot these days, and you were actually having fun with the ‘trade’ with Stolas that you were now an official part of. You and Milllie managed to keep the weekly sleepover nights pretty consistent, Loona hasn't been in such a terrible mood lately and, therefore, Moxxie has been significantly calmer, too. You'd even managed to be sooo brave and keep yourself calm enough to make small talk with Fizz when Ozzie left the two of you alone for a few minutes in one your nights over at their place. Hey, maybe next week you can ask him a question, even!

Not much, admittedly, but progress nonetheless. Befriending your best friend's boyfriend is a little nerve-wrecking, especially when he’s so wary of the fact that you’re the only demon in hell with the power to confirm the rumors about them are real and have shit hit the fan for them.

You even- wait.

You recognize the song the very second it starts playing, taking you out of your thoughts and glancing at Blitzø as he turns the volume all the way up.

“You were the spicy little demon with the bleach blonde hair-“ you sing along with the car radio, holding an imaginary microphone to yourself before holding it to Blitzø.

“F-fiending for some- uhh- yeah, when I caught your stare!” Blitzø tries to sing along into it as he drives and you laugh at his attempt to sing the lyrics, already knowing he'd get most of them somewhat wrong, before leaning towards him so you can both sing into the imaginary mic together.

“Thought it might be love- but what?”

“But you went too far! Fucked all my friends and-“ Blitzø’s eyes widen so much they might as well fall off their sockets. “Holy shit-“ He steers the wheel so violently everyone thrashes around in the car, everyone in the backseat falling over each other and pushes the brakes forcefully, making the car come to a stop abruptly and he immediately proceeds to shove his head through the open window to yell at whoever it was that, as you could see now, had parked in his designated parking space. “Oh, you suck for life, do ya?”

He even goes through the trouble of fumbling to grab a megaphone he apparently kept in the glove compartment for... situations like this? Well, something like that. He continues yelling out insults until the sight of who comes out of the car makes him stop speaking completely.

It’s a hard task making Blitzø shut his mouth, you gotta give her that.

“Oh, shit. Verosika.” You state out loud, but it's more to yourself than anything. What's weird is that Blitzø says the exact same thing, the exact same time.

"Oh, shit. Verosika?” He asks, and you figure it's more to himself than anything as well. He turns to face you for a moment, blinking a few times before speaking. “You know her?”

“Uhhh…. “ So much for things being good lately. You want to stall as much as you can, you want to vanish from where you were, you want the floor to swallow you whole never to be seen again. The most you can do about all of that is trying to sink down on your seat so she doesn't see you, but it’s no use, really. She pops her bubblegum and grins at you. She already has.

“Blitzo.”

“I should have known you’d be here. I could smell fish from miles, which is odd, because I believe the nearest ocean is-” he pushes himself so far out the window he ends up falling face-first to the floor, but gets up as quick as he can just so he can finish his insult. “Three rings down!”

“And I should’ve known you’d be here when I heard the amber alerts.”

“Oh, yeah? I’m surprised they let your fat ass out of rehab.” She was in rehab? Again? “I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that beelzejuice bottle like its the last cock in hell!”

“They let me out because I’m still famous. And rehab is for sad, loser washups. So… your sister says hi. You wanna come out now, y/n? I'm sure you're familiar with the subject."

You sigh, deciding it’s better to confront her right now than to let her say too much, and so you get out of the car, walking towards where her and Blitzø stood. “Hi.”

“Hi? That’s all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“For starters, what the fuck is going on, maybe?”

“What do you mean?”

“Getting with my fucking ex? Now that’s low even for you.”

“Your ex? Who's your ex?”

“Oh so you didn't know I dated him, that’s totally not why you’re here with him right now. Right.”

“You dated her?”

“Yeah, we dated for a while,” Blitzø shrugs. Oh, no.

“Yeah, until he ran off leaving me to pay for the hotel room, stole my car and-” Blitzø joins in, finishing word for word what she had to say, like he'd heard the speech a million times before. You don't doubt he has. “-ran three rings to wrath and max my credit cards on shitty horse-riding lessons!”

“Goddamit, whore, you will not let that go!”

“You… did that?”

“What, you gonna crucify me for it? How the fuck do you even know each other? Were you friends or something?"

“I- uh-”

“We dated too. Unfortunately.” Verosika spits out.

Blitzø turns to face you. “Wait what? You dated my ex?”

“Well I definitely dated her first. That tattoo was not there,” you point at the tattooed heart with Blitzø’s name crossed out inside of it, and Verosika instantly covers it with her coat.

“That’s true. Until… well, I’ll let the slut tell you what she did,” she tells Blitzø before smiling at you. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building, and they wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during Spring Break. Hey, maybe you wanna come too? Oh, wait, I forgot you’re on the big guy’s watchlist. Maybe he can give you a pemission slip?"

You avoid her gaze, feeling smaller than ever at the dig. She laughs at your reaction.

Blitzø interferes. “Well I don't know what that fucking means. But you said a week? No, no, you are not parking here for a fucking week.”

“Aw, you mad, Blitzø? Choke on a sandpaper cock.” She walks away flipping him off, and he chases after her.

You stay right where you are.

Blitzø follows suit behind her and threatens to call HR lest she parks somewhere else, which understandably sends all three of them into a laughing fit at the ridiculousness of the thought. Verosika snaps her fingers signaling to whoever her guard hound she’s parading around is to go, both exiting the parking lot.

As soon as they're gone, Loona barges out of the van. “You guys know Verosika Mayday?”

“Oh, yeah, her, yeah, we dated.”

“Yeah. Same.”

“Wait. You both dated Verosika Mayday?”

"Apparently."

“Ha! Now that’s karma.”

“Shut up, Moxxie,” Blitzø tells him.

“Was it before or after she became a popstar?” Millie asks.

“Sir. You dated a popstar?”

“Okay, why are you all acting like thats such a shock? Where's all that negative energy for y/n?”

“Hello? It’s Verosika Mayday.” Loona says, in a tone that's meant to shove it in his face that what they're trying to say is obvious.

“It’s… you.” Millie adds.

“I just- I mean, y/n is understandable. But you? Was she suffering some form of brain damage?”

“Okay, look, you are all making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be. I don't pry into your stupid personal lives.”

A chorus of different ways to tell him he does, all the time, erupts from the three, you even joining in with a “dude, yeah you do.”

“What was sex with her like?” Millie asks you, and you feel like you’re going to short-circuit. This is not something you want to get into right now.

“Millie!” Moxxie exclaims before you can even say anything in return.

“What? She’s a popstar! You'd wanna know what sex with Michael Crawford was like.”

Moxxie opens his mouth to dispute her but stops himself. “Touché.”

“So, tell me later?” Millie asks you.

“Just drop it!" Blitzø exclaims. "Millie, find a temporary spot for that truck, okay?” He throws the keys to her. “Looney, Moxxie, Y/n, let’s go handle this shit.”

You take the elevator, and Loona begins to nervously pull on her hair. “Do you think they saw me? Fuck, I did my makeup shitty today.”

“Oh, you look perfect, Looney! Like alwaysss” Blitzø tells her, and she rolls her eyes.

“Shut up da- Blitz.” She shoves him away.

“You look great, Loons. Not coming from your dad.”

“Ugh, don’t say ‘dad’,” Loona complains, storming off, presumably to the office, but bumps into the hellhound Verosika had been with in the parking lot, who you assume is her bodyguard.

Loona stutters as she tries to apologize for bumping into him, clearly flustered, and hey, you get why.

Blitzø notices it too, though, and immediately goes into protective dad mode, throwing himself between the two. “Aww, big man, where’s yout bitch bag of an employer?”

The bodyguard doesn’t seem amused by Blitzø’s try at being intimidating, a bored-as-ever look on his face. “She’s in her office. There wasn’t room on the second floor, so they rented one here on this one,” he explained, pointing at the door….

The door right across from the I.M.P. office.

Great. Awesome. Fucking fantastic.

“Oh, come on!” Blitzø exclaims, frustrated as well.

The guy laughs and shrugs before walking out. “Sorry, man.”

“Oh, no, you don’t, bitch,” Blitzø mumbles under his breath, eyes trained on Verosika’s door.

Moxxie chimes in. “Sir! How about you let me go in and try to reason with her? You two clearly have a history with her, but I’ll be immune to her insults! I don’t really listen to what’s classified as ‘pop genre’ music, so her status to me is-”

“Moxxie, shut the fuck up and go,” Blitzø interrups, and Moxxie goes on his way, entering the office. Through the blurred glass wall, you could make out the silhouette of Verosika and two other concubi.

From outside, it’s still possible to hear what he says to her, and it is pitiful. “Hello Ms…. Verosika, was it? I work for IMP and it is actually rather important for us to retain the singular parking space we were assigned, because-”

One of the concubi interrupts him, and you swear you find the voice familiar. “Aw, look at the little one! He’s got a little bowtie!”

“Please don’t condescend me, ma’am. I’m-”

An incubus pops out of nowhere, offering to do something you can’t quite make out to him.

“A… kind offer, but… I’m married.”

Verosika leans down to Moxxie’s level. “Hey, why don’t you send a little message from me back to your limp-dick boss and his new girlfriend?”

Oh fuck, oh fuck-

They’re on him in a second, the true forms showing through the blurred glass as silhouettes..

“Shit, Moxxie!”

“Moxxie, don’t let her access any of your holes!” Blitzø yells at him.

“We should go inside!” You tell him, but it’s a mere second before Moxxie’s thrown out the door. You help him get up, and you can’t help but worry if he’s okay. “Mox?”

“I- I gotta go lie down, now,” he tells you, walking into the I.M.P. office.

For a second, Blitzø looks worried about him too. And then that’s replaced with anger. “Oh, this won’t stand!” He screams, kicking open the door to Verosika’s new office and promptly yelling at her. “Alright, cunt, that’s it! If you’re gonna be shitty to my employees, then I challenge you to a fucking…challenge! Fuck, I said that twice.”

“Is this imp boy starting a demon duel?” Fuck. It’s Izabeth. That’s why the voice was familiar. You remember being her friend too. Now she glanced at you as you stood by the door like you were nothing.

All of them did.

“I think he is!” Verosika replies, seemingly excited. “What’s the game, then, Blitzo?” Of course she insisted in calling him that, too.

“Every year you STD spreaders go up topside for easy picking while Spring Break is a prime time for crime of all kind.” You know he says it to hurt her, but his words hurt you too. Does he think that about you, too? Is that how he sees you? Is that how they all see you? There’s not much time to dwell on that just then. He keeps on. “So I bet you succu-bitches can’t fuck as many people as we can off by the end of the day.”

They all laugh at him, and, yeah, you would too if you were in their place, probably.

When Blitzø doesnt back down, she leans down to be at face-level with him. “Oh, you’re serious? Well, then we’re gonna talk rules.”

“Rules? You fuck and we kill why would we need rules?”

“Her.” She points at you with a gloved claw, and your eyes widen. “She can’t seduce anyone to lure them to be killed.”

“What? That’s bullshit!”

“Hey, I’m only making things fair! Seducing the humans is our thing. And you wouldn’t believe how good she is at that. There would be none left for us, would there?” she grins.

“Oh fuck you, Verosika,” you say, tired of the witty remarks about the past you so desperately wanted to bury.

“Bet you still would if I let you.” She leans down to face Blitzø once again. “Fair?”

“Okay. We don’t need that anyway.”

“Alright then. Game on, bitch.”

[. . .]

Blitzø manages a whole two seconds of silence as you walk to the office before he just has to say something. “So. Ya wanna tell me what that whole thing was about?”

“What do you mean?”

“The way she was acting super shady and talking shit about you? She said she’d let you explain what you did to her and that’s saying something cause when it comes to me? Oh she looooves talking about what I did to her.”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Huh. I’ll get it out of you somehow. But. Apparently you were like some sort of human seducing machine is what I hear? Why do we take so little advantage of that?”

“Cause we don’t need to. I’m an assassin now. I kill. I don’t need to seduce anyone to do that.”

“Okay! Okay, geez. Whatever. But don’t think I forgot whatever that was about you being on some “big guy’s watchlist”.”

You wish he would.

The two of you are the last ones to enter the meeting room, and you take a seat next to Loona as Blitzø stands in front of the big white board with stupid shit drawn all over it.

“Alright, shut your assholes! Here’s how we’re gonna do this shit.” He pulls out a drawing of yourselves, seemingly out of nowhere, and points to it as if it explained everything, when in reality it was pretty much indecipherable. “First, we find a fuck ton of clients. We portal up. We have our fun murder time as per usual. We pile all the bodies into a big fucking canoe. We push said canoe into some water. We light it on fire to attract the sharks and eagles and maybe a goose too, fuck it. They come and eat the bodies, we win the bet, we rub it in that sloppy bitch’s drunken whore-ass face, do you have any questions?”

“A canoe?” You ask.

“Why do we have to light them on fire?” Millie follows.

“Uh, yeah, why was that nonsense?”

“That one wasn’t a question.”

“That wasn’t a plan.”

“I’m sorry, that was a flawless presentation of what we should do, Mox, it’s not my fault you got a smooth little brain upstairs.”

“A what, now?”

“I’m calling you slow, Moxxie. God, why don’t you learn to take criticism, you talentless baby fucked troll?”

Moxxie climbs up to stand on the table, fuming. “Why don’t you take an art class?”

“Why don’t you see how expensive they are?” Blitzø yells back, pulling on the collar of Moxxie’s dress shirt.

“Hey, is there a way I can come with you guys this time?” Loona questions, nonchalant, interrupting whatever it was that was happening between the two and making everyone turn to look at her.

“Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie, Spring Break is no place for young, vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of freaks up there who drool all over you!”

“Just let the girl go, Blitzø,” you tell him, and he gives you a dirty look.

“Yeah, Blitz! I can blend in with humans easy enough. Just let me tag along!”

“Wait. Say that again.”

“I can… blend in with humans?”

“Do you have a human disguise?” Millie asks her, and you stop to think of it too. Since when has that been going on? Everyone’s seen yours plenty enough, even though you didn’t use it every single time you went up. How did you somehow miss the fact that Loona had a disguise of her own?

“Yeah, don’t all of you? I’ve seen y/n’s.”

The three share looks between each other, similar looks of deer caught in headlights.

“Wait. Are you the only one who has one?” Loona asks you.

“Well, yeah.”

“The three dickheads have been screwing around on Earth this whole fucking time without human disguises? And you’ve been letting them?”

“Hey how’s that my fault? Not like I can conjure disguises for them.”

“Hey now, we have to focus here! New plan. Y/n’s not allowed to use her human disguise cause apparently she’s this huge human awe-ing machine or something. But they didn’t say we couldn’t use Looney’s. Looney, you can help lure the humans to us and we’ll take care of the rest. Real simple, yeah?”

“Wait what’s that about a human aweing machine?” Moxxie questions.

“Unimportant,” you reply.

“How about the new plan, then?” Blitzø asks.

“Flawless logic,” Millie says.

“I think you’re missing the biggest issue, sir. Isn’t it crucial to have a client who demands enough kills to win this bet? We aren’t just going up to massacre!”

Moxxie has a point. But, surprisingly, it seems Blitzø has thought of that already.

“I got that covered.”

Blitzø takes out a blank piece of paper, scribbling away on it with the markers you bought him for his birthday a few months prior. After finishing whatever it was he was doing with it, he takes you all outside, revealing the handmade flyer as he glued it to a lamppost just outside the building.

Spring break

Victim

50% off!!

It even had a drawing of his very happy doodle-self beside a decapitated person and, naturally, various horse drawings scattered around the page that had nothing to do with anything. As charming as it was, there was really no way this single tiny flyer could attract anyone, let alone enough clients to have you win the bet with Verosika.

“Now, we wait.”

Moxxie voices thoughts similar to yours. “Sir, there is no way we are going to get enough clients by the end of the day with one poorly spelled, bad-grammar flyer!”

It takes less than a single minute for the street to be packed with people waiting in line in front of it.

Blitzø opens a cocky grin, laughing at Moxxie and elbowing his side before walking up to the first few people in line. “Now, who’s first?”

Okay, maybe he had this under control, after all. Huh.

[. . .]

Satan, Spring Break was… the exact same.

It was the absolute same as it ever had been, down to the thick, thick scent of hormones, sweat and bodily fluids mixed with sunscreen and a hint of weed, up to the obnoxiously loud music and even more obnoxiously loud people.

As annoying as it was to think of it now,, Spring Break did serve you a great deal in the past. Easiest, quickest way to human sex you’d ever encountered. The weeks of Spring Break could be enough to saciate a concubus’ need to go up for a long time if you were smart about it.

They were supposed to be enough, at least.

It’s been quite a few years since you’ve been up on Earth during this time of the year. Ozzie would not be pleased to hear about it, and he’d probably still go on and on about how irresponsible and careless you were being, but if you could get through this, and you truly felt you could, then maybe you could make him proud, too. Happy for you, even.

Well. Nothing like a little murder to get your mind off of things these past couple years. What’s some more?

“Now, remember, we can’t be seen, alright? And loose shots will likely cause a panic, so Loona can help with leading targets to a better spot to off ‘em. You got thhe, Looney?”

Loona takes a sniff at the piece of paper before nodding, standing up to change into her human disguise. Blitzø beams at her appearance.

“Oh, Looney, look at you, you look downright awful! I am so proud. Now fetch!” He points to the packed beach, and she does as said.

Luring the humans was going rather easily with Loona’s help. Blitzø wasn’t wrong, they were all over her. All it took was a look and a ‘come here’ motion, and she could take them wherever she needed: dark alleys where Blitzø could blow their heads off with a gun as she leaned back and watched, by the bridge where Millie could push them to their death and Moxxie could take care of the body, by some hidden corner where you could behead them… yeah, things were going pretty okay, and you had nine kills in no time.

Blitzø was just bragging about it to no one in particular when her voice came on.

“Alright, Spring Breakers! Y’all ready to get fucked up and make som ebitching bad choices?” Verosika announces from up on the stage, where she stood in her human disguise while huge pink-colored screens read ‘fuck you blitzo’ on them in block letters all around her.

“Fuck, she’s gonna sing. We’re not gona stand a chance,” you say, more to yourself than anyone else.

And that’s exactly what she does. “This is your final boarding call. All aboard.”

Pack your bags

Sun’s out

Take a vacay, babe

Take it straight to bonetown

V-time, free time, baby, relax

Self-care, no hair, brazilian wax

Hornt-up, succu-bus to the beach

Catch some rays while catching some D

It takes less than a whole minute for all the concubi she’d come up to earth with to find themselves busy with one, two or more humans each. Which makes up more than the total kills up until now.

“Goddamnit, that bitch started her goadish mating call! Now she’s gonna win all these sex maniacs, we gotta pick things up, guys.”

You nod in agreement, motioning to a guy throwing up beside you. “How about him?”

“Is he on the list, Looney?” Blitzø asks, but she’s… distracted. Of course, it’s pretty clear what’s going on.

“Yeah. Yeah I think so,” she replies, and it doesn’t reassure you at all, not when her whole undivided attention is trained on the Vortex guy who you have to admit looks pretty hot in his human disguise. And hey, he looked human but he wasn’t human, so you wonder if it would- no. Fuck, no. You’re not here for anything other than killing the targets in the list.

Loona’s reply seems enough for Blitzø, who grabs an axe from who-the-fuck-knows-where and quite literally slices the man in half after getting asked if he’s a leprechaun. “Alright, Looney, c’mon, who’s next? Looney? Loon- Looney? Where’s my baby?”

Blitzø immediately panics as he can’t find her where she just was a second ago, and you grab him by the shoulders to turn him in her direction as she walks up to talk to Vortex, making to take care of disposing of the leprechaun guy’s corpse with Millie’s help as Blitzø just stares for a moment before following her.

Pack your bags

Sun’s out

Take a vacay, babe

Take it straight to bonetown

Verosika takes a swig out of a flask before yelling out “now, who wants a piece of this?” and throwing it to the audience. The liquid ends up spilled into many people’s drinks as it flies through the air before landing on the ocean water, and it takes about three seconds for your suspicions about what was in the flask to be proven right as you notice the way people are acting now- that sure as shit wasn’t just alcohol..

You and Millie find Moxxie after you’re done, and he’s watching Blitzø pathetically try to cockblock Loona. He sighs. “Aaaan, we’ve lost him. It’s looking like it’s up to us to handle this list. You wanna make sure he doesn’t blow our cover?” He asks you, and you sigh in annoyance.

“Not like I get to want anything.” You stand up regardless, making your way to where the three stood while Millie and Moxxie began their speed-run (speed-kill?) of the target list.

“What, I can’t have a break?” Is the first thing you hear from the conversation, coming from Loona.

You immediately interrupt, scolding Blitzø. “Blitz you need to get the fuck out of here you’re gonna get us into shit!”

“That’s exactly what I just said!” Loona tells you.

“That is exactly what she just said, actually,” Vortex comments and you ignore it.

“A break? We have a parking spot on the line!” Blitzø yells back, and you know he’s actually being protective of her but pretending it’s about something else.

Vortex decides to tell him off too. “Hey, dude, why dont you chill out?”

“Why don’t you stay out of it? ‘Kay? This is our business.” He holds up another one of his doodles with his tail for a second. “Literally.”

Loona growls in frustration at him. “Fuck, Blitz! Why can’t you stay out of my face for, like, five minutes?”

“Because I adopted you! And that should mean something!” He turns his back to her, crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly.

“Oh, what does it matter? You’re not my real dad. I was almost eighteen!”

“It still counts!”

“Well, it shouldn’t!”

“Loon-” you try to stop her. You know her well enough to know she’ll feel bad for saying whatever she’s saying right now, but it’s no use.

��No! I didn’t need him then and I don’t need him now. You hear that, Blitz? I. Don’t. Need. You!” She’s the one to turn her back to him this time, and he looks back at her with tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

“Okay, look, I know that hurt, but you can’t be out here, Blitz.”

“But- but Looney-”

“She just wants to talk to a cute guy without getting embarrassed. Let her be normal. She doesn’t mean it.”

“Oh how are you so fucking sure, huh? You keep secrets.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You ask him as you shove him away from the large group of people.

“Yeah I said it. You’re a- you’re a secret keeper! Who are you to know if people mean what they say?”

“Blitz, if this is about what Verosika said-”

“Oh but it is! It is about what Verosika said! Or what she didn’t say actually. Do we even know you?”

“My life before you is none of your fucking business- fuck.” you lose track of what you were going to yell at him when you see Moxxie get thrown in the air, getting exposed to a few people around where he lands on the sand. Blitzø’s eyes follow yours.

“Ah! Oh, my god, it’s a fucking possum!” A woman exclaims, pointing at Moxxie, to which he curses under his breath before some guy grabs him from the ground and shoves him into a beer cooler, immediately throwing it around in the air with Moxxie inside.

“Come on, we gotta go help Mox out,” you tell Blitzø.

“Ya hear that, Looney? I’m gonna go kill something. You enjoy your break!” He childishly yells to her.

You find Moxxie at the same time as Millie does. Pulls the cooler’s lid open and he falls out of it, clearly drunk off his mind from the beer. She stands over him and he calls out her name excitedly from where he lies on the sand. “Millie! Hi. Hey. Hey, where did you get four heads? I wanna kiss ‘em!” He makes grabby hands and a kissy face at her, to which she just smiles in return at the drunken state he’s in. It’s sweet, actually.

“Come on, Mox,” she mumbles before helping him stand up. He’s so wasted he needs to lean on her to keep himself standing.

“You guys okay?” Blitzø asks her.

“Yeah, we-” Millie starts, but is interrupted by… well…

“Ooh! Fish!” Moxxie exclaims, giggling, as he points to the huge, monstrous creature that rose out of the ocean, killing everything in it’s way out of the water and causing panic to overcome everyone in the beach, resulting in a screaming, bloody mess all over.

Personally, that’s not the word you’s use for it, but sure. A fish.

The fish captures Moxxie with its gross, gigantic tongue, pulling him towards itself before attempting to swallow the imp. Fuck.

Millie shares a look with you before promptly killing a man, stealing the glass bottle he held and improvising a molotov cocktail, throwing it at the creature and stunning it enough to fall back in the shallow part of the water. “Kill the rest of ‘em! Go!” She yells out to you and Blitzø, which is enough for you to trust her to solve the situation on her own.

You and Blitzø resume to killing whoever more you could identify as targets, a harder task now that they were panicking and running around in a frenzy, but you manage to get about six before Millie’s done, cutting the creature’s tongue off as it held Moxxie and sending him flying over towards Blitzø, where Blitzø, who manages to catch him in his arms, making one of the targets shocked enough for you to put a bullet though their head.

Millie finally begins to walk up to where you are after killing the monster, chest heaving with heavy breaths and spitting a little blood on the sand, but otherwise okay.

“Is Mox alright?” Is the very first thing she asks.

“Oh, yeah, he’s fine! Way to show off, Mills!” Blitzø yells, and she smiles. You give her a fist bump as she approaches you before she grabs a giggling Moxxie off of Blitzø’s arms, and she can’t help but laugh herself.

“This is funny. I’m soooooo drinky.”

She squeezes him tight and you smile at the interaction.

You only get so much smiling time when Verosika’s around.

“Blitzø.” She calls, and you all turn to see her standing with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Oh, perfect! That must be the whores!” He quips.

“I only see two whores around here and they’re right in front of me.”

“Hey you watch your filthy fucking mouth.”

“That was handled rather… obviously, don’t you think?”

Millie picks up Verosika’s flask form the sand, holding it up before throwing it to her. “I don’t think this belongs to any of us. Would be a shame if anyone found out you guys were behind a giant monster fish in the human world.”

“Yeah y/n here could tell the big Oz himself. He wouldn’t be very thrilled, don’t ya think?” Blitzø is quick to threaten.

“Ha! She should be more worried about him finding out she’s up here right now.”

“Go fuck yourself. He’s not the boss of me. He’s the boss of you, though, isn’t he?”

Moxxie laughs obnoxiously. “Oh, Satan! You got yourself fucked!”

“Yeah, well, you three nasty-ass gremlins will be in shit for not being in disguises." She turns to face you, a bitter, hostile grin taking over her features. "And you! Your little friend already took your crystal privileges away. You wanna be a bigger disappointment?"

“Don't act like you fucking know him."

Moxxie falls over face-first onto the sand between you. “A human called me a possum. I am not a possum!” He slurs out.

“Hold on, crystal privileges?" Blitzø questions you.

It's Verosika who answers, though. “She not tell you about it?" She lets out a laugh. "Doesn’t shock me.”

Fuck. “Verosika-”

“You little fucks never wondered why she doesn't have one?”

“What do you mean? She gets one from Ozzie when she needs it like all of you freaks-" Blitzø immediately defends.

“Oh, Blitzo, you really are fucking stupid, aren't you?" She interrupts him. "She used to have one."

No. “Ver, come on-”

“Don't! Call me that. No. You're gonna hear me say what you did." She turns back to Blitzø, the same rage in her eyes as when she recalled all the ways he'd wronged her in the past, earlier that day. "Your little girlfriend here was forbidden from coming up to Earth without Ozzie’s permission for years.”

“What?” Millie asks, and it seems accidental that she says it out loud.

“Yeah. Sorry-ass had to be babysat every time she had to come up. On a watchlist like a freakin' criminal, cause, well- she kind of is." She eyes you up and down before she spits out "I'm surprised you can even be here right now. Congratulations.”

“Well duh? Of course she's a criminal. That's kind of what we do.”

“Oh, Blitzo, the killing thing you guys do is adorable. But no one bats an eye at a little murder, it's Hell. No, she broke demon law." And, then, the final threat of a carefully blocked out, written-over past, coming to haunt you in the form of her. "You wanna tell them your record time or should I?”

“You have no fucking right-”

“I have every right! I have every right. It was five months, two weeks and two days. You know how pathetic that is?"

“That supposed to mean something, bitch?” Millie growls, protective.

“Other than her being a whore, no,” Verosika shrugs.

“What does that even mean?” Moxxie asks her.

“She stayed up here for five months, two weeks and two days straight once when we were dating. I was worried sick, we fucking lived together too. And then I find out she’s been up here fucking whatever human that came into her line of sight instead of coming back home.”

“I’m- it’s not-”

“��It’s not what you think, Ver, I swear!’” She mocks. “Boo-fucking-hoo! Now she’s on a watchlist cause Asmodeus for some fucking reason liked her enough to just be worried instead of actually punishing her.”

“I wasn’t in my right mind, you have no fucking-” fuck, you’re voice is trembling now.

“Save it, bitch.”

Blitzø notices your discomfort, deciding it’s better to go home and solve whatever this mess was there. He walks up to Verosika. “Look. We keep this pathetic little b-movie scene on the down low and you let us use the parking space. She doesn’t tell her lusty bff about what you did and everyone lives happily ever after. Deal?”

“Fine,” Verosika says through gritted teeth. “But I hate you.”

“Don’t care. We fucking won!”

[. . .]

“So… you don’t have to talk about it, but… please talk about it. What was that?” Millie asks you, careful.

You sigh. Maybe this time there’s no running from it.

A/N: genuinely don’t even know of this is good vut alas! we’re so back! sorry for the long wait lol love y’all

#mars writes #helluva boss #scandalous #blitzø #stolas #blitzo x reader #stolas x reader #blitzø x stolas x reader #helluva boss imagine #helluva boss x reader #loona #loona helluva boss #Moxxie #Moxxie helluva boss #Millie #Millie helluva boss #verosika mayday

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 1 year ago

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IOTA Reviews: Transmission and Deflagration (The Kwamis' Choice)

Well, it only took until almost halfway through the fifth season, but we're finally getting a two-part episode that isn't a season finale. There have been a few episodes I think could have benefited from having an extra part, like “Cat Blanc”. So obviously, after all this time, there has to be a reason for putting a two-parter here. The story told here has to be big. It has to be huge. It has to be something that will alter the very way we see the plot and these characters, and—it's more Love Square stuff. God dammit...

Let's get into the tenth and eleventh episodes of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Transmission and Deflagration

“Transmission” starts with Marinette having another depressive episode, which seems to be worse than usual, with her offering her Miraculous to Tikki so she can choose someone else. While Tikki tries to remind her of all the good she's done as Ladybug as footage from earlier episodes plays, Marinette points out how she's a terrible Ladybug, once again referencing how she lost the Miraculous because of her feelings for Adrien.

Tikki: You’re overreacting, Marinette!

Marinette: Really? Then, how come I lost the Miraculous I was entrusted with all because of love? Love only ever causes problems. I’ll never fall in love again! Love is weak! And I can’t be sad about it; otherwise, I might get akumatized!

Okay, this is just getting ridiculous. We're ten episodes into the season, and whenever Marinette brings up her failure at the end of the last season, it's the same song and dance: She feels guilty about it, she needs someone to try and make her feel better, and she doesn't change anything about the way she and Cat Noir operate. If it isn't that, it's a complete strawman or character who we know already hates Ladybug like Chloe or Lila calling out Marinette for her failure specifically so any negative feedback she gets can be easily brushed aside. The whole point of a hero having to comprehend a major failure is to see how they deal with the consequences to their actions and find a way to improve to make sure nothing like that ever happens again. If Marinette came up with new ways to strategize with Cat Noir, or seriously reevaluate the way she sees Adrien that isn't just brushed aside, I'd get it. Instead, all she does is whine about how much her life sucks over and over, which is the same problem I've had with Adrien for the past few seasons.

And once again, for a show with the lyrics “The power of love always so strong” in its opening, it seems like the writers want to make a bigger point in favor of showing how love can only ruin things. Yes, getting emotional can cause someone to make more impulsive decisions, but at the same time, feelings of love and kindness can get good results, like Ellen Ripley's maternal instincts motivating her to save Newt in Aliens. The problem is that we never get a lot of arguments as to how love can benefit the heroes, not only when we see how much it screws up Ladybug and Cat Noir's partnership, but once again, how Marinette's romantic feelings for someone led to her greatest failure. The closest we get to an argument in favor of love is whenever Marinette and Adrien's friends try to make their OTP come together without considering if it would actually make things better or not.

Speaking of which, after the episode's obligatory pointless Chloe line that's only there so Selah Victor can pay her rent that week, Ms. Bustier asks Alya to deliver Marinette's homework to her, only for Nino to convince her to have Adrien do it instead. Somehow, she thinks this minor favor will help Marinette and Adrien realize their true feelings for each other. Because it's not like Alya learned that she shouldn't choose who she thinks Marinette would be best with last episode, right?

Marinette and Adrien talk and it seems like they're starting to grow a little closer, but Tikki and Plagg panic, trying to intervene so they don't know each other's identities. The attempt fails, but Marinette kicks Adrien out anyway. It's a pretty somber scene, so let's cut to something stupid instead, like Marinette and Adrien's classmates throwing a party under the assumption that Adrien simply delivering something to Marinette means they'll get together now.

All of you are really gunning for the Biggest Idiot Award today, aren't you?

Of course, even though she went along with one of these weird “force Marinette to do something she doesn't want to” schemes before in “Crocoduel”, Zoe seems to be the only one with a smidgen of common sense.

Zoe: Alya, did you hear Marinette’s voicemail message?

Alya: Yeah, but that was before, Zoe.

Zoe: “Before”? Before what?

Alya: Before when Marinette was a complete wreck.

Nino: But Alya sends her the perfect mechanic.

Alya: Adrien!

Nino: He’s fixing her up as we speak.

Rose: Wow! When they come back to school, they’ll finally be an item!

Marc: A perfect plan!

Zoe: But... you guys don’t actually know for sure.

Alya: Trust me. This is it this time!

I'm starting to think that maybe Marinette should reconsider who she chooses to be temp heroes once she gets the Miraculous back.

Adrien starts crying as he leaves Marinette's place, which attracts the attention of Monarch... who then immediately backs out as soon as he senses him, transforming back into Gabriel. Meanwhile, Tikki and Plagg discuss Marinette and Adrien's situation.

Plagg: Sugarcube! Having to force them to choose between love and their mission is just awful! Maybe Master Fu was wrong to choose them.

Tikki: No, they’re made for each other. Love is what gives them their strength.

Plagg: But the impossible part of that love is destroying them, and I know a thing or two about destruction.

Tikki: (sighs heavily) What can we do?

Plagg: We must free them of that impossible choice. We must... free them of us.

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Yep. This is the titular Kwamis' choice. They seriously think that Marinette and Adrien's romantic problems are more important than them being superheroes, so their best option is to just take away their Miraculous even though Monarch still has fifteen more of them. I'd be more forgiving if this was towards the beginning of Marinette and Adrien's superhero careers, but this is Season 5, where the stakes have never been higher thanks to Monarch's arsenal. Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention that MARINETTE IS STILL THE FUCKING GUARDIAN, AND TAKING AWAY HER MIRACULOUS DOESN'T CHANGE A THING! IT'S NEVER EVEN MENTIONED IN EITHER EPISODE, SO HOW THE HELL DO YOU FORGET SOMETING THAT IMPORTANT?!?!

It doesn't even make sense that only now are Tikki and Plagg against Marinette and Adrien actually getting together when they were never shown to have any problems with it in earlier seasons, and just last episode, Plagg encouraged Adrien to go after Marinette after doing so as Cat Noir didn't work out. It comes across as the writers struggling to come up with new ways to have opposition to the Love Square, even if this idea somehow leads to a minuscule amount of progress in that department. Yeah, you figure that out...

Also, it's pretty weird how after four and a half seasons of Marinette suffering from the burden of being Ladybug, only now does Tikki decide to relieve her of that responsibility, but only because of how it affects her love life.

We get another scene showing how stupid Marinette and Adrien's friends are as they talk about how happy Marinette and Adrien must be now, interspersed with scenes of Marinette and Adrien crying their eyes out. Just like that one scene in “Evolution”, I don't get the setup. Is this meant to be a joke, or a serious moment? After Nathalie takes a call for Adrien telling Nino that he can't be bothered at the moment, Gabriel comes into the room to comfort him, giving him an Alliance ring in the process.

Tikki and Plagg talk to their respective holders and tell them how they feel that the burden of being heroes is crushing them. Marinette and Adrien obviously bring up the situation with Monarch, but as soon as their Kwamis mention that not being superheroes means that they can pursue their love lives with no stress, they immediately take off their Miraculous and give them back. After five seasons that this episode confirmed happened just under a year, and this is what causes them to give up their Miraculous: a bad case of heartache. We're supposed to see this as the breaking point that causes the two to not want to be superheroes ever again? They don't consider the innocent lives that could be in danger, or the fact that this heavy burden will most likely be forced on two new and inexperienced schmucks who will struggle even more than they did thanks to Monarch possessing powers of the other fifteen Miraculous.

I'm sorry, but I don't see this as an emotional scene. All I see is what I saw with Adrien in “Kuro Neko”: these characters simply giving up because of how much they're prioritizing their personal feelings over the lives of others. If this was something Marinette and Adrien came up with and made an agreement to quit at the same time (even choosing their own replacements), I'd sort of get it, as they'd at least be on the same terms, but neither of them ever learn the other quit until later on in the episode.

After Adrien breaks down even more, we learn that the whole reason Gabriel hesitated to akumatize Adrien the last time was because he didn't have an Alliance ring on, so now that he does, he's taking a mulligan. However, the Akuma is stopped at the last minute when Adrien sees the homework he was supposed to give Marinette, so he runs off as his negative emotions fade. Instead, Monarch chooses to akumatize someone else with five different Alliance rings.

Monarch: Rejoice, dear Kwamis! Five Alliances enables as many Miraculous powers to transfer at the same time! This villain promises to be exceptional! (laughs manically)

Pretty sure you hyped up Style Queen the same way three seasons ago, yet you still didn't get the Miraculous then, so I wouldn't gloat too soon.

The next scene with Marinette and Adrien is actually a really nice one. Marinette starts stuttering as usual when she tries to talk, but Adrien comes up with another idea: He'll ask a series of yes or no questions, and Marinette can raise her right or left hand to answer them. Adrien asks Marinette about her feelings for him, and Marinette accidentally answers no before changing her mind. Before Adrien leaves, he asks Marinette if she wants to spend more time with him in the future, to which she accepts. This scene was handled really well, and nothing really felt forced here.

Back with Alya, she and the others are once again coming up with a plan to get Marinette and Adrien together (because none of them have lives outside of the Love Square, I guess), when Nora suddenly calls.

Nora: Geez, sis! You never pick up the phone when I like, actually need your advice!

Alya: I couldn’t pick up. I’m at school!

Nora: Yeah, right. So, you see, I had no choice but to deal with it myself.

Alya: Oh, no... Nora. I told you before, you gotta talk before you act!

Nora: Yeah, but I did talk, like, I said stuff in front of Kouki's bros.

Alya: Nora! Not “talk” like that!

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Yeah, outside of a few references to Nora trying to call Alya earlier in the episode, I didn't skip anything here. We're just thrown into this plot with little to no explanation as to what's going. What Nora and this Kouki guy were arguing about, much less what Nora said to his friends is never explained. I don't even known if they're supposed to be in a relationship or not. It's not like in “Sandboy” or “Oblivio” where the motivation for how the person got akumatized was only explained near the end of the episode. The episode acts like we're supposed to know who Kouki is and why he and Nora are fighting when this is the first time Kouki has ever appeared on this show.

As the conversation goes on, Tikki chooses Alya to be the new wielder of the Ladybug Miraculous and Plagg chooses Zoe to be the new wielder of the Cat Miraculous. Okay, outside of Zoe being the only one in this episode who isn't a complete idiot, I can see why Plagg would choose her, since she has experience as a superhero, and her identity wasn't exposed. As for Tikki choosing Alya? Yeah, Alya did a good job as Scarabella in “Hack-San”, but she doesn't mention that A) She and Cat Noir still needed Marinette's help to stop Robustus, and B) Alya's already had her identity exposed twice, to the point where she was the one to suggest she not be trusted with one before Marinette lost the other fifteen Miraculous at the end of the last season. Alya's not a bad hero, but these factors don't exactly make her an ideal successor to Ladybug. Also, it's pretty dumb how the whole reason Marinette and Adrien quit was for romantic reasons, yet the whole reason Alya blew her cover last season was for romantic reasons (Rocketear).

Back with Adrien and Marinette, the former plans to leave, but is interrupted by the akumatized form of Kouki, named Kikou.

Kikou's design is... I mean, it's not terrible, I guess? Putting aside the fact that this is the second Akuma in the series to go with the “black boxer” stereotype (who is also a dumb brute like Anansi was), the gold jewelry is a decent touch, and it makes sense that he has the five Alliance rings to show off his wealth. As for his powers, because he has five rings, he has five different powers, the Tiger Miraculous' Clout to power his Gum-Gum Pistol-esque punches, the Turtle Miraculous' Shelter to protect his head where the Akuma is obviously hiding, the Horse Miraculous' Voyage to move around quickly and make up for his size hindering his speed, the Ox Miraculous' Resistance to protect the aforementioned Shelter, and the Mouse Miraculous' Multitude to clone himself with. This is the Akuma that really made me realize that the gimmick of every Akuma this season having the powers of whatever Miraculous Monarch gives them is just an excuse to half-ass writing any new Akuma powers in favor of the same fifteen abilities the other Miraculous have.

Kikou attacks the city, but Alya transforms into Scarabella, soon being joined by Zoe, AKA, Kitty Noire.

Kitty Noire's design is... pretty weird, all things considered. The green lipsick just doesn't look that good, I don't get the green hair extensions, and why are they eyes like that when even Lady Noire's eyes stayed green? At the very least, the hair looks marginally better than Catwalker's, and I like the detailing on the suit itself.

While Scarabella and Kitty Noire quickly get to know each other, Marinette and Adrien get used to being civilians again pretty quickly as they watch them fight off Kikou, the two new heroes struggling to keep up with Kikou's five Miraculous powers. Of course, Marinette and Adrien only look mildly concerned, not even regretting their choices in the slightest.

Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.

Scarabella uses her Lucky Charm, getting a parachute, which is totally different from the kind used in the final episode of the first episode. Scarabella and Kitty Noire taunt Kikou, Scarabella drawing Kikou's fire while Kitty Noire recruits a bunch of firefighters, who then get some paint from the art store Socqueline runs. The firefighters then load the paint into their truck's hose, which is then used to fill up the parachute. Kitty Noire cuts the rope, and the paint blinds Kikou, and as soon as he deactivates his shield, Scarabella breaks his headgear, freeing the Akuma.

Scarabella de-evilizes the Akuma, sort of helps Kouki and Nora make up, uses Miraculous Scarabella to fix all the damage, while Marinette and Adrien compliment the new heroes from afar before promising to meet up at school tomorrow.

The first episode ends with Gabriel's Alliance recording the unusual data in two Alliances, meaning that Scarabella and Kitty Noire's identities have already been exposed... even though Tikki should have known this since “Jubiliation”. Yeah, you all know where this is going.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... TIKKI

While the competition was tough, Tikki was able to get the win for going along with this asinine plan in the first place that prioritized the personal feelings of two people over the fact that Monarch was at his most dangerous. Not only that, she forgot Marinette was still the Guardian, she forgot that Alya's identity was already exposed twice, and that even if she didn't know the Alliance rings were a front for Monarch's plan, forgot that these hi-tech rings track the everyday movements of its users, not even telling Plagg this before he chose Zoe.

The second part, “Deflagration”, immediately starts off with Kitty Noire saying that Ladybug and Cat Noir have nothing to feel guilty about even though they essentially abandoned Paris when Ladybug was shown to be getting backlash for her failure, but of course, that isn't mentioned here.

Kitty Noire: We’ll accomplish our mission just like they did, because the goal we all share is to defeat Monarch, isn't it?

News Reporter: Or perhaps Ladybug and Cat Noir renounced their mission so they could finally live their love story?

Scarabella: They were never in love or in a relationship, and neither are we.

Kitty Noire: (in a flirtatious tone) So far anyway!

I'd make a “The Ambiguously Gay Duo” joke here, but we all know Alya is already in a relationship.

Alya and Marinette meet up, the former congratulating her successor on another great job. The two talk about Adrien, and Alya once again encourages Marinette to focus more on pursuing a relationship with him, no doubt planning another stupid party in her mind.

We then get a scene that actually reminds the audience that Chloe and Zoe are supposed to be sisters. I understand if you might have forgotten, but don't worry. I'm pretty sure the writers did too. Of course, I think the writers might be running out of new ways to make Chloe mean to someone, because this time, she just yells at Zoe for being near her and not being in the “half-of-a-sister zone”. In order to appease her sister and make sure she doesn't call their mom, Zoe offers to wash all of Chloe's shoes. Plagg talks to Zoe about possibly standing up to her sister.

Plagg: How about I Catacylsm that sister of yours instead?

Zoe: It’s pointless, Plagg.

Plagg: Zoe, you can't let them treat you that way; no one speaks to me like that! Just ask the T-rexes... That is, if you can find one! Because they're not so smug anymore now, are they?

Zoe: It’s best to stay out of trouble in this family if I'm going to protect my secret identity.

Plagg: You start by giving up cheese, and then you end up giving up on dignity, freedom, and justice!

Zoe: I feel like you like to blow things out of proportion, don't you?

Plagg: Yes... especially when I’m starving.

Talking about standing up to your mean sister, contemplating murder while casually discussing genocide. Same thing, right?

We cut to Gabriel, who's over the moon about the recent revelation regarding Scarabella and Kitty Noire, even dancing a little. He tells Nathalie and heads to his lair to plan his next scheme, but not before chatting with Emilie's body once again. Gabriel transforms into Monarch and gives himself the powers of the Bee, Mouse, Rooster, Ox, and Horse Miraculous, traveling to the school himself.

Meanwhile, we cut to the Resistance, where we see Max has set up a system where, through the use of the Alliance rings and their phones, the members can alert the school to whenever there's an active Akuma... even though one of the features included in the Alliance includes an Akuma alert (Multiplication), and there's also been an Akuma alarm since Season 2 (Riposte). So once again, this brave and totally important Resistance has contributed absolutely nothing. Okay, there are some other parts, like some of the members planning to fight off the Akuma with paintball guns if there's no other option. You know, this is proof that this show takes place in France, because if this was America, they would most likely have actual guns.

At lunch, Marinette and Adrien get closer, to which Lila uses as an opportunity to manipulate Chloe into trying to break up the moment, but not before we get a joke where Chloe needs Alliance to define the word “generous”. Okay, I'm not sure if the joke was that Chloe is so selfish, she doesn't know the meaning of the word, or if the writers are now resorting to using “dumb blonde” jokes for Chloe now, which totally isn't a cliche that was overused twenty years ago to the point where there was an entire movie starring Reese Witherspoon made to subvert it. Either way, NOT FUNNY, DIDN'T LAUGH.

Chloe tries to ruin the moment by telling Adrien Marinette is in love with him, but he's not having any of that. She tries telling jokes that are supposed to be unfunny, they're funny, but it lacks the charm of something like Hank Hill attempting to tell “yo mama” jokes. Zoe stands up to Chloe, which pisses her off so much, she willingly accepts an Akuma from Monarch (currently invisible thanks to the Rooster Miraculous), turning into Sole Destroyer.

Sole Destroyer is... wow... Just... WOW... they didn't even try with this one. At least Miracle Queen made sense as an upgrade to Queen Wasp, but this? They literally just took Sole Crusher, whose design resembling Chloe made sense thematically in that episode, gave her a new pair of sunglasses, some more gemstones and spikes, and made her eyes glow as if she was a character in an episode of The Nostalgia Critic. Why go to this effort to make a new Akuma when so little is done with the new design? Wouldn't it make sense to bring back Antibug, given Chloe has been against Ladybug since the end of Season 3? As for Sole Destroyer's powers, it's just Sole Crusher's magic kicks, only instead of growing bigger in size after absorbing each victim and making her more of a threat, they transform into singing shoes. You know, guys, it just dawned on me how... how weird this show is. Kinda goofy...

Alya and Zoe attempt to transform, but Monarch, using a combination of the Mouse, Bee, and Rooster Miraculous' powers, stuns the two and steals the Ladybug and Cat Miraculous from them. Plagg attempts to Cataclysm Monarch, but Monarch uses Resistance to block it, immediately going to unify. Before the process can be completed, both Tikki and Plagg use Lucky Charm and Cataclysm respectively, Tikki summoning a trash can with the side effect of creating a new Eiffel Tower, and Plagg destroying the Cat Miraculous. Doing so ends up creating an endless cycle of things being created and destroyed, and unlike in “Dearest Family”, they don't reuse footage from “Style Queen”.

Marinette gets the trash can, and realizes what's happening, and while Adrien and Nino plan to have the Resistance try and stop Sole Destroyer, Marinette works on making her own Ladybug costume. Monarch orders Tikki to tell him what the hell's going on, Tikki explains that since Plagg destroyed the Cat Miraculous, he lost his only method of communicating with the physical plane, and all Monarch needs to do to get what he needs is to take back the Lucky Charm Tikki created. Just then, Marinette arrives, dressed up as Ladybug, and seemingly having the Lucky Charm in her hands, only for Monarch to steal it, unifying into Monarbug.

Given how stupid he looked as Shadow Noir last season, it's not exactly surprising to learn that Gabriel looks just as stupid unified with the Ladybug. The red and black polka dots just don't go with the black and purple. The one thing I'll give them credit for is that the eyes look kind of cool.

The Lucky Charm turns out to be a fake, and Nino jumps in to save Marinette from being hit with Venom. The rest of the Resistance also arrives, somehow having beaten up Sole Destroyer off-screen and turning her into a battering ram. Monarbug undoes the Akumatization, but Rose, Ivan, and Kim dogpile Monarbug, leaving Adrien to steal back the Ladybug Miraculous for Marinette.

Marinette transforms back into Ladybug, and uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage and fix the Cat Miraculous. While Ladybug fights Monarch, she learns that he reforged the Miraculous before Monarch uses Multitude and Voyage to make his escape, swearing that he'll beat Ladybug someday, “We'll meet again, Spider-Man”, yadda yadda yadda.

Tikki and Marinette talk about finding new holders, only for Marinette to choose to take back the Miraculous, figuring that since Monarch doesn't know their identities (once again forgetting what the Alliance rings can do), that's the best option. Plagg takes back the Cat Miraculous and goes to say goodbye to Zoe, reassuring her that she was still brave enough to stand up to Chloe, because I guess to hell with the people who somehow managed to restrain Chloe while she was Sole Destroyer. And so this episode, and by extension, this two-parter, ends with Ladybug and Cat Noir talking about how their Kwamis saved the day... even though they were the reason Monarch almost won in the first place.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... CHLOE

In addition to somehow not knowing the definition of the word “generous”, she failed to come up with a good comeback against Marinette, chose to get akumatized to get revenge, failed at that, betrayed Sabrina and Lila, her only allies, for no good reason, and somehow got defeated off-screen by a bunch of civilians with no superpowers, not even getting to fight either of the new heroes, including her sister.

But yeah, in case you can't tell, these episodes were pretty bad. The entire premise of Tikki and Plagg deciding that Marinette and Adrien's love lives were more important than stopping Monarch was a hard pill to swallow, especially since their replacements didn't get to do anything outside of a single Akuma fight. You'd think that with the buildup Zoe got standing up to Chloe, she'd at least play a role in stopping Sole Destroyer, but instead, she and Alya are benched for almost the entirety of “Deflagration”. It's also really dumb that the ending tried to make them out to be the MVP's of the fight, when their idea was what caused Monarch to almost get the Miraculous.

Even Marinette and Adrien didn't really make a lot of progress here. All they did was talk a little, but even after “Deflagration”, not much else happened. Yeah, Adrien stood up for Marinette, but they still haven't officially started dating yet, even when they had every reason to after giving up their Miraculous. It's still better than nothing, but after four and a half seasons, I think we're allowed to want a little more development with the Love Square Wouldn't it have been interesting to see Marinette and Adrien try to start a relationship during their brief retirement, only to struggle to maintain it after becoming superheroes again? We're almost halfway through the season, and the Love Square is still progressing at a snail's pace. Then again, I guess it's better than nothing at this point.

“Transmission” was pretty boring, all things considered. Other than the first act, nothing really happened. The Akuma fight was like the others, just with two new heroes, and Marinette and Adrien got to bond for a few minutes. Nora and Kouki's drama wasn't interesting, and it wasn't even properly explained like the motivations of other Akumas.

I will say that “Deflagration” was the better of the two, if only because Marinette, Adrien, and Gabriel made some smart choices here. Unlike in “Evolution” and “Destruction”, there's no gloating or wasting time. Monarch cuts straight to the chase, and Marinette comes up with a quick plan to trick him with. Also, while I still don't really care about the Resistance, I like the idea of the civilians standing up to Monarch, and think it was executed better than it was in “Heroes' Day”. Even Sole Destroyer got a few reactions out of me for how exaggerated her facial expressions were. I don't know why they decided to give her One Piece levels of weird faces, but kudos to the animators on that front. Of course, Sole Destroyer was still one of the most pointless Akumas in the show's history, as you could take her out of the episode and nothing would have changed.

Overall, while I appreciate the effort to try and tell bigger stories, this was a really weird choice of an episode to make a two-parter.

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honeysuckleharringtons · 1 year ago

Text

"Stars Around My Scars" ~ S. Harrington

Summary: What if instead of Jonathan and Nancy luring the Demogorgon out with blood… it was Steve and Reader? And what if, a year later, they feel bonded by their trauma?

Pairing: Steve Harrington x GN!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 1,157

Content Warning: lots of talk about the Demogorgon, lots of talk about scars, in depth panic attack, mentions of fire, mentions of drowning, mentions of tattoos, mild swearing, no use of Y/N, lmk if i missed anything!

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Extra Notes: one, no i will not apologize for the many taylor swift references in this. two, yes i will apologize for the terrible summary.

Based On: the lyric "You drew stars around my scars" from Cardigan by Taylor Swift; also based partially on the hotel scene from 2x05

Originally Written: 06/03/2023 through 06/07/2023

Beta Read By: @serenity-lattes 🫶🏻

honeysuckleharringtons masterlist can be found here!

pastel dividers | star dividers

Your fingertips grazed across the scar on your left hand, memories flooding your mind: your screams as that damn Demogorgon tried to kill you, the flames against your skin as you burned the hell out of it, the pace of your heartbeat quickening with every breath you took.

Anxiety washed over your body like a tidal wave, crashing around you in violent splashes. Your heart thumped aggressively against your ribcage, your lungs on the verge of collapse as the memories brought back the panic from last year.

A gentle but deep voice pulled you out of the dark hole, his words a lifesaver, pulling you up from the crashing waves of panic. "You okay?" Two simple words, yet somehow they felt like a raft in the ripping current of your anxiety attack.

A shaky exhale escaped your lips as you brought yourself out of your panicked state, poorly attempting to even out your breathing as you met Steve with wet, glassy eyes.

You shook your head, your eyes darting back down to the giant gash placed in the middle of your hand. "Can you…" you attempted to get the words out, "Can you just hold me for a while?"

Without hesitation, Steve hopped out of his bed and climbed into yours, enveloping you in his warm embrace and cologne-infused aroma. He pulled you flush against him, holding you to his chest and wrapping his large muscled arms ever so tight around your frame. "Not that I need a reason, because you're my best friend and I'd do anything for you, but is there something wrong? Is that why you wanted me over here?"

You nodded against his chest, tears slipping down your cheeks as you made another lousy attempt to even your breaths. "Do you ever get pulled back into that night? Like, you just see something and it instantly reminds you of November twelfth?"

He chuckled, and surprisingly the noise helped to ground you a little. "All the time. I can't even look at a nail without getting sucked back into it."

His words reminded you that you hadn't been alone that night, nor were you alone now. Still, that imperfection on your hand found a way to mock you, tell you the exact opposite of what Steve had just said. "Every time I see the scar, it pulls me back in. I feel like I'm drowning, like I can't breathe or hear or feel anything." Your tears picked up speed and your chest seemed like it was on the verge of collapse. "The sad part is that it happens nearly every day and I still can't tell when it's gonna hit me."

Something in his voice sounded like an idea had popped into his head as he moved away from you, reaching for the nightstand with one hand and grabbing your wrist with the other. "Can I see your hand for a minute?" Steve asked with furrowed brows.

You were nervous about the idea of looking at your hand again, but you trusted Steve with your life. He held your hand in his larger one, palm facing upward, and you suddenly became aware of his skin touching yours. "Close your eyes," he instructed, his breath hot against your ear where he leaned in close to you.

A shaky breath escaped your lips as you closed your eyes, trying to find something, anything to imagine besides that night. Just as your vision began to fill with painful flashbacks of that night, something cold and wet glided across your palm, and your eyes shot open to figure out what it was.

He must've found a Sharpie in the nightstand drawer, because he was drawing soft strokes around the scar on your hand with it. Your brows pinched together in confusion as you watched his movements. "What are you doing?"

Steve just kept on drawing. "Now, whenever you see this scar, you'll have something to focus on besides the memories. You can look at these and think about this memory."

You never realized just how big his hand was compared to yours until he flattened your palm and held it beside his. He'd scattered doodles of stars and sparkles around the gash on your hand, much in the same fashion as the tattoo he had on his own palm. You often forgot about the tattoo he'd gotten over the summer, a couple months after his eighteenth birthday, but after that night, you were sure you'd never forget it.

Your eyes went glassy again, this time with happy tears, as you met his gaze again. "I love you so much, I could actually kiss you right now."

It slipped out before you even had time to process the words. Your heart thumped as you muttered out an apology, though some part of your brain wasn't sorry for saying it. You'd loved Steve for a very long time, his gesture had only further confirmed it. On the other hand, he had been your best friend for longer, and you couldn't believe you'd screwed it all up, just by letting those twelve little words slip out.

"Hey, Byers?" he stopped you mid-apology, his aforementioned large hands moving to hold both sides of your face.

You gulped, not entirely believing this was happening. You'd dreamed and fantasized so many times that it would, but had fully convinced yourself it was all a fairytale, never to leave the pages of your mind. Your gaze flicked from his eyes down to his lips and back up again, your body involuntarily dropping hints of what you wanted.

For once, Steve figured out how to take a hint, pulling your lips flush against his. Your skin felt hot as you processed what was happening, and had it not been for your hands darting up to hold his, you might've simply assumed it was folklore you'd conjured up in your brain.

When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours, neither you quite ready to break physical contact. His hands settled beneath your sweatshirt as he flashed that million dollar smile of his, and all the coldness of your heart melted away in an instant. It was the first time Steve had ever put his fingertips on you so many times in one night, but you hoped it would not be the last.

He chuckled, a couple happy tears falling down his cheek. "Figured if I can't make it go away forever, I could at least kiss it better temporarily," Steve admitted, a blush tinting the expanse of his face.

This time, your palms wrapped around the sides of his face, his jawline sharp enough to cause another cut on your hand. "You did a good job, Harrington. For a second, it almost felt like the world wasn't ending."

Teary eyelashes tickled your skin. "Mind if I do it again?"

You shook your head without a second thought. "As if you even need to ask."

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @aftermidnightwriting @manuosorioh @esoltis280

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diluclover300 · 9 months ago

Text

Just One Week (1)

Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

Also posted on my ao3 account: diluclover300

CHAPTER INDEX:

I H8 U

My Kinda Fun

Balance

{S] Awake

Eggs and Rice

Wait, but I'm broke

Couple's Discount

CHAPTER 1: I H8 U

...

Ha. Ha. You roll your eyes, arms crossed before they unfold again. The elevator opens and you're back at the lobby of the building again. Ha. Ha.

You hate this place. Normal was so ordinary. So predictable. So boring. Blah!

Whatever, whatever, whatever. You just want to go home already. It's been a long day at work.

You walk, as the general population does, because even though you're special, and so different, you're human before any of that bull crap. Genetically, you're a programmed sheep. Mentally, you stick out like a sore thumb.

And you walk with the help of wired earbuds, ones that you grabbed at the nearest department store. You understand why people can't leave the house without these babies. They're so convenient, a socially accepted escape from the real world.

Selfishly, as it should be, you're listening to the same sickly sweet, syrupy-lyric filled song. Generic, yet so stupid catchy that even a zombie would dumbly mumble it in its sleep. With it's unintelligible voice, muddy and groggy as it lowly moans the melody. Like pure mush, frothing with spit.

Love. Love. Love. A boyband, the popular one you've loved since highschool, is singing about what sells— sex. Oh, baby. I want you. I love you. Give me all of you. Kiss me until I can't breath, wrap me with your heat.

You understand the gist of it, don't you? Because you certainly do.

Bouncy, your steps are, almost preppy that you feel like everyone else. You suppose that's fine for now. You're forcibly, undeniably put into a swarm of people. People that will always be like you. Vise versa. It's the way of life.

Same old.

Beep. Your lanyard scans across the kind of thing you'd see in a new-york subway. Too bad you're across the globe in Japan, in some remote town, so you don't live miles away from the famous–or was it infamous– you don't know, times square. Boring.

You suck in a hefty amount of hair, and it's humiliating when you push the door that so politely–and obviously— asks to be pulled. Wow. You turn back to confirm that no one has just seen you do that. But you're suddenly biting back another heap of cringe mixed with embarrassment when you realize that someone behind you blankly stares at you. Probably to hurry up so that they could get out too.

"Oops." You laugh, but they don't. "Sorry about–"

"Are you going to open that door?"

"Oh, uh, yes. I am."

Right. You pull the handle of the door that you've touched thousands of times.

The breeze hits you and as physics do, your hair whips across your face, sprawling over your dry, cracked lips. You push on, steps now long strides. You're fighting with the wind and it's terrible.

Welp. That was life. Mother nature wasn't, never was, kind to you.

Another idiotic event, another "let's make a fool out of Y/N" moment. You fold your arms underneath the crevice of your chest, that white button up so thin you're sure that you've developed hypothermia in the last few minutes you've been walking.

Another sigh. Then you realize it looks hopeless, and stupid. Then you wipe your cheek, holding your lips together and realize that looks equally awkward. Damn.

Incident after incident. Mistake after mistake. Everything feels like a math equation, and it's all adding up to make you look a fool.

At least nothing too terrible happened today.

Then, as if it was clockwork, an ominous feeling began to settle in the depths of your heart. As if your instincts were telling you to run.

You don't. Your hopes of a normal day, your suspicions of having a great day are so terribly...

Wrong. You look up and see the face that you don't want to see. The face that looks back at you like a mirror, the face who's lips turn up into a slight smile. The face who's glasses tip down his rather long, yet socially accepted nose. The face who's eyes are freakishly blue, who's eyes would receive the predictable comparison– "Hey, your eyes look just like the sky."

This can't be real.

This can't be happening.

Maybe today wasn't destined to be a good day, but there was no way in hell, no way that things could go this south.

A bad day was when you got in trouble during work, when someone's kid spilled your burning hot coffee all over your new white clothes. Bad was when...

Bad was when Gojo Satoru wasn't here.

Terrible was when he was.

"Hi." He holds his hand up, palm open, fingers spread into a wave. "It's been a while."

Your chest tightens, air contracting the thing like a damn accordion. He's definitely a fair distance from you, standing beneath the trees, far from the stairs leading up to the building behind you both. Traffic bustles a couple more feet away, and that same song, on repeat, buzzes in your ear like a mosquito.

Love. You seem to feel everything but that at the sight of his face.

"Gojo." The breeze slaps against your skin, stinging as it leaves it's harsh marks. Your fingers travel down to the hems of your skirt, and you fidget with the cloth.

You're anxious, not as you envisioned the hundreds of other times you mulled over this sort of situation. Instead of holding your head up high, you're cowering, heart wrenching, the lines you so carefully wrote, seared into your mind escaping your tongue.

"Gojo?" Ha. Ha. Real funny, you think as he mocks you.

It makes you angry. Why did he, how did he have, how was he not– where was his shame? After five years? Did he just realize you were gone after all this time?

You don't want to ask, but you do.

"Why are you–"

"What happened to Satoru? Don't be so formal. It's only been five years."

"The name disgusts me."

You're silent as he steps forward, a bouquet of flowers tucked underneath his armpit. He's decked out in all black, not that you care, or that it's any different from how he was a few years back. If anything, he's the exact same. Unchanged.

It makes your blood boil.

"Ah. Look at you. You've changed."

He chides, crouching down as if he's trying to taunt a child. You bite back the strange croak in your throat.

"Your turn. What about me? Say something."

No. Please. "Don't do this to me."

His lips, as if pulled by a set of strings, ghost a smile. Those eyes exposed, bare through those glasses as they reflect the pathetic image of you. Your expression which tries to hard to look expressionless. The scrunch of your eyebrows as you look down at him.

No, he's looking down on you. Even though it should be the opposite.

"You look the same." It's robotic, the usual cadence of your voice he so remembers void of emotion.

It's true. He does.

"Oh? You're cold. So cold." He tilts his head, a strand of hair falling in between his eyes as he gives you a slight pout.

And, you? You're not the same as you were before.

"I know." You step back. "People tell me that all the time."

You feel so... so...

Was pathetic the right word? It didn't even do the situation justice.

Wow. Honestly, you never wanted to admit this, but you've always imagined this sort of thing happening. A reunion, to put it simply and you'd always imagine such witty responses, such great comebacks.

However, you're no different from everyone else. Not underneath the umbrella of fear. However, you're not even shielded from those raindrops of confrontation.

You're soaked. The umbrella's defective. You can't bring yourself to say the words you practiced, to put an end to the tortuous fire in your heart.

Because as much as you want to hear those answers, you're afraid of the void that lies beneath them.

"Is that something to brag about these days?" He straightens up, the plastic lining of the bouquet crinkling.

You shrug as answer, but your eyes stick onto the floor like a piece of gum. They've rolled out of their sockets, breeze guiding them along the concrete.

Satoru whistles for a moment, eyes careful as they study your figure.

A white button up shirt, tucked into a pencil skirt, glasses that usually wouldn't suit you because you were the contact lens type, flats because he could never imagine you walking down a flight of stairs in heels.

Though you've fallen to the inevitable concept of change, you're still...

Oh. He's forgot to mention that you've been listening to music this whole time. It's noticeable now. Partly because you're wearing wired headphones, and partly because he can hear the faintest bit of singing coming from your direction.

"Whatcha listening to?"

You peek up, and for the first time in years, he's properly– no, you're making eye contact with him.

"It's the new XXX song. Do you remember when I..."

What the hell?

He never tried to stop you back then.

Why would he remember a single thing about you?

"Nevermind." You look away, and he swears he sees the faintest film of water pooling against your eyes. "You wouldn't know."

Yeah. You're the same as ever.

"Oh. You still like that group?"

You nod, and he swears he can see the faint image of you from highschool. Nodding along to the sound of your mp3 player, busted around the corners as it rests on the edge of your desk, threatening to fall. And when it did, he'd usually catch it before pulling out your earbuds.

Then you'd grumble at him, call him a "bastard" or a "piece of shit". And he'd laugh, loud enough that people would turn their heads.

Weird. A wave of nostalgia hits him.

"Ha." The thought of it makes him snicker. God. He was such an asshole. "Haha."

Look at how the tables turned. It's painful that you're so rough around the edges now. You're barely smiling, and now there's an offended look trespassing your lips and eyes.

You're angry again. So angry that the image of your smile is trampled on, dirtied by a frown.

It's like throwing away a perfectly good slice of cake.

Satoru decides he hates it. The look of it is sickening, the thought of it is unappetizing, the existence of it is...

"What are you–"

"Come back to Jujutsu High and help me teach."

As he expects, and the revelation behind it frustrates him, you've gone completely unresponsive. What he's realized is that you're just existing through your life.

You've been wasting time. And now you're just going to ignore him. No matter how right he is.

"Y/N. Can you hear me?"

You don't answer for a long while, slowly ripping out each earbud as you stuff it into the pocket of your shirt. The question, the request is... it's...

Disgustingly selfish. Did he only think for himself? Did he only care for himself?

Of course he did. Of course he did.

He's Gojo Satoru.

"Why did you come here? Go home."

"For you. Come back and be a Jujutsu sorcerer again–" He doesn't waste a singular second, as if he was reading off a script to some terrible horror movie.

You feel sick.

"No." You spit out. "You don't know what I want, you can't tell me what to do either."

You want to laugh, you can't believe all this bullshit.

You can't believe that after all the trouble you went through to fit in, you're going back to square one. Like a baby trying to learn how to walk all over again.

All the trouble you went through to convince yourself that you were still special despite being so, despite living so normally now.

All the trouble you went through to ignore those cursed spirits.

All those sacrifices you made, those risks you took.

You can't believe that it's all going down the drain like this, like your struggles are the water to someone else's shower.

Could you be easily discarded like that? Like trash?

Wrong. Incorrect. Wrong. Nothing could be more... wrong.

No, you're different. Important. Nothing like trash. Incomparable. If there was a mold, you'd break it. If there was an expectation, you'd exceed it. If there was...

If there was...

There's nothing because he... he's...

Gojo Satoru is stepping on your sob story like it's a piece of gum, smearing it with the sole of his shoe.

He tries to intervene with your peace, picking apart at your facade, your play-pretend act of tranquility.

"I know what you want–"

You don't even give him the chance to finish.

"It's been five years."

He knows. You don't have to remind him that it's been that long.

"So?"

"You don't know a thing about me, Gojo."

"I do." He steps forward. "And what do those people back there know about you?" Then he points back at your workplace.

You grimace, aware that what you're about to say is an obvious, a bitter lie. He knows it too, but you say it anyway.

"They know a lot about me." You bite back, desperately trying to save face. "So much more than you do."

When you force that out, it dawns on you. The fact that you have to lie about something so insignificant to prove that you're doing just fine to some asshole you haven't seen in five years.

"Like what? Your favorite member in that stupid boyband?"

"They're not stupid! Okay? They're– They're...!" You stumble over your words, voice coming out louder than you anticipate.

Damn it. Now everyone around you is staring like a bunch of sheep, the same kind back at work, relishing in an argument– no, a conversation – that they had no rightful part in.

"They don't know anything about you, do they?" He whispers, a pitiful expression on his face when he sees how worked up you've gotten. "Be honest with me then. What do you want?"

"Honest? You want me to be honest?"

"Well, yes. I'd like that."

"Fine then. I want to fight you right now because I hate you."

"Sure."

"You make me sick."

"Okay."

"I want to–"

"I already said okay."

...

#fanfic #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #enemies to lovers #friends to lovers #eventual smut #eventual romance #romance #angst #drama #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer

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fitzrove · 5 months ago

Note

I noticed your tags on the "bad localisation"-post and now I must know the lore... the Finnish translator of Elisabeth didn't speak German???

Hehe, I'm glad you asked!!

Mind you, this production happened when I was a small child, so all I have is second-hand knowledge from the internet (and an audio recording). Also, I may have exaggerated for comedic effect in my original tags lol, I don't know if he genuinely didn't speak it. However...

The guy who translated the Finnish Elisabeth was a very famous (prolific, if nothing else) theatre director and musical translator, starting his career in the late 60s already with a wildly popular production of Hair. Elisabeth seems to be among the only German-language shows he ever worked on - most of it was translations from English and French. ngl I also sort of hate his musical translations from English LMAO - because of how prolific he was, they still haunt the Finnish musical scene today... One big one he did is Cabaret back in the 90s, and a theatre that put a big fancy production on in 2020 actually redid all of the songs and only kept his dialogue because the translation was so clunky lmao. But I once went to the library to dig up his original lyrics to the title song and omg they suck, I wrote better ones in two minutes because I needed a Finnish version quickly ahshshsh. So already, it's a bit of a bad sign - this man is not a translator by profession or training, he's a director who started out doing it for practical purposes, and has a pretty broad set of languages he works in.

But then again - maybe it wouldn't have been a problem, especially since he had such extensive experience. In fact, Elisabeth was the last translation he ever did before passing away rather shortly after (of old age), so maybe I shouldn't be too harsh on him... However, the fact remains that the translation, just as lyrics, is pretty terrible and nonsensical sjjsjsjd.

My initial comment was actually largely inspired by this blog post by someone who actually saw the prod live (from onenightintheatre on blogspot), quote:

It sounded like the translator hadn't really understood German, because many lines sounded like someone had taken a dictionary, looked up the most important words of the sentence and then written a whole new sentence(-ish) based on those words. An example that remained etched in my mind: ("Eine Kaiserin muss glänzen"; Finnish, the Finnish translation in English, and the original German text) Countess Esterházy: Suunne aukaiskaa! ("Open your mouth!") (Öffnen Sie den Mund!) Sophie: Keltaiset ei olla saa! ("[Teeth] may not be yellow!") (Die sind zu gelb, das darf nicht sein!) Elisabeth: Tammalla saa! ("Mare's [teeth] may!") (Bin ich ein Pferd?) So... Instead of asking why they're treating her like a horse, Elisabeth thinks she is a horse and can therefore have yellow teeth? Oddly, "Bellaria" was significantly better translated than rest of the musical and actually sounded beautiful and made sense. There were also factual errors, like Rudolf complaining to Elisabeth that he must get married, when at that point of the story he had, in fact, been married for several years. The translator passed away half a year after the derniere, though, so maybe he wasn't at his best anymore when he did the translation.

As for me, I don't know the Finnish translation by heart, but some of my favourite songs (well, mostly Schatten 2) which I do know by heart also had the ball dropped on them... in that song, Rudolf complains that the court is wasting money on parties (woah good job working in the "dancing around the golden calf" metaphor, I'm sure the original author didn't mean it metaphorically to go with the pied piper thing, he meant literal dancing - though I guess this is accidentally accurate to irl rudolf and his ranty pamphlet on the idle nobility xD) and it's just quite clunky and repetitive overall without getting the main point across too well. Which is such a pity! I mean, translations are hard, but Kunze's work has since been translated into Finnish well, with the references and thematic messages intact, it's not impossible. So in a way, I think this one is a case of someone well-established in the industry getting the job because he happened to be there and have an extensive track record, not because he actually had the skills to make the best possible translation...

Ahsdhsfhfs so yeah. There's no proof that he didn't speak German, but it's my personal theory. Also, according to a few sources, Kunze himself hated this translation......

#musicals #theatre #asks #tysm for asking haha!

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urlocalqueer · 17 hours ago

Text

okay unpopular opinion but i don't like how in the new company productions they are framing it like bobby is in some alcohol induced hallucination. i just think it's stupid.

ALSO many of the lyric and story changes are terrible. so much of the new version is soooo bad and it sucks that it's so bad because bobby being a woman could add so many layers but the new version said "what if we did this amazing idea and then buried it with 1000 terrible ideas." and no one stopped them

(i was writing this and it got long so my complaints (me being a whiny bitch) + a few compliments are below the cut)

all were written while doing a company rewatch.

"cleanest of crimes" to "simplest of crimes" makes no sense. like what's the point to that.

"first you make a person hazy" to "you make a person feel all hazy" ENOUGH. and what i think is most fucking heinous is the famous line from you could drive a person crazy. changing "like a lump" to "on her butt" and "off your rump" to "out of a rut" is insane. like what do we accomplish there. who the fuck changed this and where can i find them. and then the ENTIRE SECOND TO LAST VERSE IN YOU COULD DRIVE A PERSON CRAZY. there was no need to change this shit. like kill me now

like how can you change the old lyrics but still use terminology like "square" to describe people. like if your gonna update shit then do everything. do pick and choose because it just makes me angrier.

i also dislike the change in joanne's character. like yeah, she's supposed to be in a switched role so she's a female friend to bobby who is envious of bobby, but joanne is and has always been a unique character in company. she was envious of bobby when bobby was a male character, so it doesn't make sense why her and larry's characters have been so switched. it's almost like they were writing the new changes and they realized that joanne was so unique that it was extremely difficult to change her character. in my opinion, joanne and larry were two character's whose personalities shouldn't have been changed. in have i got a girl for you, i think larry still should've been in that song, not joanne. it makes far more sense. ALSO in someone is waiting, i think joanne still should have been a name said. i know that was never going to happen, but bobby idolizes and loves joanne in a way. idk. larry's name being in place of joanne's doesn't make sense to me.

i also don't like how they set the new versions in modern times. i know it makes most sense with what they are trying to do but like "look i'll message you tomorrow or i'll call to explain" replacing "look i'll call you in the morning or my service will explain" is just. ew.

even simple shit like "pinnacle of life" changed to "pinnacle of joy" is like. what was the point of that. "tragedy of life" to "prophecy of joy" makes me so mad. however, i should point out how amazing matt doyle is in this. the crazed rant after this song is really great and i do think it's fucking hilarious how the ONLY line they didn't change was "having this enormous wedding after we've been living together all these years! it's embarrassing paul! people will think i'm pregnant!" and "IM THE NEXT BRIDE !!!!" i KNOW someone fought to keep those lines in.

"but why watch me die like Eliza on the ice?" being changed to "but why watch me die when i'm only being nice" is actually shattering.

KATRINA LENK'S MARRY ME A LITTLE !!!! this is a highlight of the production imo.

god back to the joanne thing. in the og lyrics it's "he's just crazy about me" and now it's "she's feel exactly the way i do. about everything" like can we get real. can we get sooooo real. joanne as a character was so unique, she wasn't like the rest of the married friends. come on guys.

imo, side by side and what would we do without you are some more highlights but the lyrics changes continue to fuck me up because they are wholly inconsistent. they say analyst here instead of shrink like they do in not getting married. so it's just sooooo confusing. MAKE UP YOUR MIND. i also hate how they get rid of an entire verse?? hello? it feels like they did it to try and make it feel more trippy because of how the production is set up (bobby's in some weird alcohol induced vision?), but it just is so eh.

also i hate every lyric change in poor baby. i just do.

sigh. rip the peter homosexual experience line. you brought so much subtext to the musical and now you're gone :(

can i say something without a red dot appearing on my forehead. i think barbara walsh's joanne is far better than patti lupone's. this performance is so different from when she did it with NPH, and idk what it is but i far prefer barbara walsh.

"clutching a copy of TIME" kill me. who changed that line. what was wrong with "clutching a copy of LIFE"

what hurts the the most is that this musical almost 100% dampens the effect of ladies who lunch. joanne in this musical isn't just a lady who watches. in my opinion patti lupone plays up joanne a bit too much. i can't really explain how but it's the vibe i'm getting. like i know she's playing her more desperate and alcoholic like, but in the tone of the rest of the musical it just doesn't fit. this entire musical has spent time making everything comedy comedy comedy and here comes joanne with a very emotional number but she also has to make it funny but it's not funny. this production does not work.

god the final conversation between joanne and bobby in this one is just so fucking awkward. let me at the goddamn script editor. haha sorry "i think you and larry should make it" ENOUGH. STOP THIS. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH. this completely changes joannes character and her relationship with larry and bobby. i hate this fucking production im sorry. the problem is with this final part is the tone of the entire musical shifts in the drop of a hat and it doesn't shift in the way cabaret does, this shifts because it's been poorly edited.

these characters aren't being sold to me. the story isn't being sold to me. they knew they needed to make changes and they made all the wrong ones. this could've been an incredible production about the misogynistic marital pressures of being a woman in 70s manhatten but nooo they went down the route of crazy alcohol induced hallucination. they fucked joanne's character, changed lyrics the didn't need to and leaned to far into the comedy. katrina lenk truly is incredible here! but the actual script is shit. i feel like they didn't realize how this musical would need to be changed now that bobby was a woman. the pressures of marriage are different for women than they are men and it's like they didn't take that into account at all. the things things they changed were the wrong things. let me at the goddamn director.

and what's even worse is that this is an amazing cast. katrina lenk (minus the buildup to the final belt) is great in this. everyone is pretty strong. so it sucks that the script is pure shit.

#bc i love the added layers of bobby being a woman but company is a concept musical....#it doesnt need some underlying event to tie together all the events of the show #thays literally the point of show. its non linear and the new versions try to make itnconnect andbthat ISNT NEEDED #like for fucks sake

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moon-alight · 2 years ago

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Bf Yuma! Comforting you on a bad day

Of course. <3 Sorry for the wait, here you go.

Masterlist

My Way - &Team Yuma

Synopsis: You have been feeling terrible ever since you woke up and now you come home and get greeted by your sadistic loving boyfriend.

Warnings: swearing, slight burn-out, relentless teasing,

Word Count: 991

Note: Suteki means 'beautiful or gorgeous' it's a Japanese nickname.

It started with the headache you had when you woke up, it went away after a couple hours but you were still stuck at school. The time has never gone by as slow as today and to add, on your way home it started to rain and of course you didn't have your umbrella with you.

Life sucks. School sucks. Rain sucks. Everything sucks.

You walk inside the dorms where you went to almost automatically. There is a faint voice coming from the kitchen. There is one thing that doesn't completely suck. You think to yourself.

"Hey, buttercup!" You shrug off your jacket and look at Yuma who had just walked inside the room with a smirk. "How was your day."

"Don't remind me." His smile falters at your hostile answer. You take off your shoes and put them next to the door.

"You're soaked." Yuma points out when you walk closer towards him. You can't help but glare.

"Really? I didn't notice." You reply, sarcastically. It was the first time Yuma heard you like this. You are a sunshine to him, more happy than not, seeing you like this breaks his heart a little.

He takes your hand and without a word, drags you towards his room. You enter and watch as he takes a couple of towels from the closet and wraps them around you.

"You should've checked the weather before you went out." He tells you, moving back towards his closet and taking out a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. "I can't believe you've been so reckless. You could get sick." A small smile forms on your lips at hearing him scold you gently.

"I'm sorry." You mumble and look down. Yuma's eyes soften and he hands you the clothes.

"Get changed before you really do get sick. I'll wait here for you." You take the clothes and stumble towards the bathroom. You get changed and make sure to dry your hair before walking back out.

When you enter his room, you see him sit on his bed with his arms open waiting for you to hug him. You smile and hobble over, climbing into his embrace and hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

"Now tell me, Suteki. What happened today?" You snuggle closer into him, if that is even possible, and sigh.

"Bad day." You breathe out. Suddenly, you hear Yuma mumble the lyrics of a song.

"Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around"

"Stop it."

"Oh, so you actually had a terrible day. . ." Yuma replies, stroking your hair. "Want to talk about it?" You shrug.

"I had a headache and school didn't go well, it started to rain and I forgot my umbrella."

"You had a bad day, the camera don't lie You're coming back down, and you really don't mind"

"Yuma, please." You groan when you hear him resume the song again.

"What? Thanks to you that song is now stuck in my head!" He replies. "You're the only one to blame."

"It's not funny." You tell him though there is a smile growing on your face.

"No?" He asks back. "I can feel your lips curve against my neck."

"No, you're wrong." A sudden tickle in your side makes a giggle escape you. "Yuma!" He does it again, and even though you try your best to fight it, you still laugh.

"I can't really believe you had a bad day, you're laughing a lot." He teases, continuing to tickle your sides.

"Alright-- YUMA!" You scream, he finally stops and you catch your breath.

"Let's go get some drinks from the kitchen to calm you down, huh?" He asks, moving away from you embrace and standing up. "My girlfriend is possessed, she suddenly started laughing." You gasp at him and stand up too.

Before you know it, you're chasing him down the hallway towards the kitchen. Yuma had always lived for teasing you, it's one of his love-languages.

"Nakakita Yūma!" You yell, finally stopping when you're standing on opposite sides of the kitchen isle. "Apologize!"

"For what?"

"I don't know, calling me crazy maybe?" You say, glaring at him.

"I never said that!" You cross your arms over your chest. "I never did! You're hearing things, Suteki."

"Yuma!"

"You had a bad day, you're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around"

"YUMA!" He laughs when you playfully hit his arm. "Stop it! I had a terrible day, you're supposed to comfort me!"

"I am." Yuma replies and pecks your lips before opening the fridge. "I just do it my way."

"Your way sucks." You tell him and lean against the counters with your back.

"Does it?" Yuma asks, walking up to you with a smirk on his face.

"Yeh." You reply. "This could've been my thirteenth reason!" Yuma tries his best not to laugh at your sarcastic tone.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Hold me!" You reply, annoyed. "Hold me, hug me, kiss me, tell me it's gonna be okay!" Yuma sighs and puts the bottles down on the kitchen counter before walking to you and pulling you into his arms.

"Everything." *kiss* "Is." *kiss* "Going." *kiss* "To." *kiss* "Be." *kiss* "Okay." *kiss*

You smile softly, finding this terribly funny but you try so hard not to laugh. He would be smug about it if you did.

You soon realize you are lightly swaying left and right as if dancing to no music. You close your eyes and let out a content sigh as your head rests against your boyfriend's chest, his arms still protectively around you.

"It's pretty pathetic dancing without music, huh?" You ask softly, grinning to yourself.

"You want music?" Yuma asks and smirks.

"'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around--"

"YUMA!"

#&team #&team scenarios #&team fluff #&team imagines #&team drabbles #&team yuma #&team yuma fluff

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sarah-sandwich-writes · 6 months ago

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for the title ask game: We Were Gods (we were kids)

I want to hear more about that one, that's a riveting title! :eyes:

Ahhh yes, so originally this fic was inspired by the song Battle Cries by The Amazing Devil. It's a duet and like a divorce song? "This isn't a break-up, dearheart, it's a season finale!" I got the title from the lyrics where one part sings the line "We were gods" and then the other part echoes it with "We were kids" and that's just *chefs kiss* perfect fanfic title thank you TAD <333

The premise was childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to supers fighting on opposite sides to reluctant allies to (finally) lovers. And it was going to be a parkner fic (peter parker/harley keener). It was going to be an epic slow burn spanning nearly their whole lives.

Then I thought why not pry it out of its fanfic foundation and stand it on its own as an original concept? Harley is essentially my OC and Peter could be shaped into an OC too and the plot I had in mind had hardly any of the source material in it so why not? I'd just tweak some names, create my own super powers and aliens and then boom! Book!

Didn't work 🙃 I wrote a 110k draft and got to the end and was like wow this sucks. I half-assed the world building and tried to hang onto plot devices that just don't work outside the mcu (they don't even work within the mcu but I digress) SO now we're back to square one: making it a fanfic. Except it's not really square one because I have 110k that I need to snip and prune and repot back into a fic.

Actually it's more like 85k bc I have to re-write the beginning since I ended up keeping that part for my book, but the rest just needs reworked into something I like with the characters that we know and love plugged back in. It's going to be a massive revision project but not any more difficult than writing the thing lol

But anyway! It's going to feature super villain!Harley which I am very excited about. He is sooooo tortured in this one and Peter has the shittest luck in the whole world <333

I don't have a good excerpt to share so here is the high-level outline for part one!

Part 1: Childhood

Peter’s parents die in a plane crash. He moves to Rose Hill to live with Uncle Ben and Aunt May and meets Harley

Harley has his hands full with… his dad just walked out. He wasn’t abusive. It was just shocking and all at once. They thought something terrible happened, but after they report him missing Scotty at the corner store stops by and says he sold him scratchers. Then a few hours later the sheriff stops over with his hat in his hands and tells them his truck was found in the lot at the airport in Nashville. “Let him go,” Mama says. “Don’t want no man who don’t wanna be around. Let ‘im go.” And that was the end of that.

Peter arrives while Harley is getting used to being the only one home after school. Abbie’s off with Mrs. Farley in town while Mama works, so it’s just him most days ‘til Mama gets home around 5.

Starts hanging out with the Parkers. They keep him ‘round for dinner. Scares Mama the first time bc he didn’t ask ahead and wasn’t home when she got there. She demands to meet them.

They get on great and once they learn of her newly single situation they offer to watch Harley in the afternoons until she gets home from work. No need for payment or thank yous—it just so happens that Peter could really use a friend right now and they’ve been getting along so well.

So it begins. No creek. No pokemon. Peter and Aunt May clash like the dickens, but Uncle Ben is always cool and rational and settles things before they go too far. It’s nice.

Peter is obsessed with planes and tracking flights and researching news of lost flights, crashes, etc. Huge fear of flying, but not of heights. This fear stays with him, even when Harley turns into a flying superhero.

EJ is Harley’s bully. Harley is a talkative little nerd with a stutter and a penchant for mathematics. He attracts the mean types and Peter has a loud bark and never has had the good sense to back down from a fight. The shared battles cement them together.

After being blindsided by his dad leaving, Harley had to reevaluate everything he thought about family. Family is no longer who you get along with, despite differences. It’s no longer who you put on a smile for. It’s who you can disagree with and still hug and laugh with at the end of the day. It’s refreshing that he always knows where he stands with the Parkers. They have big feelings and they don’t bury them, but they’re solid. They’re dependable. They’re there.

Then the Parkers move to New York and leave Harley behind and his theory on what makes a family falls apart all over again.

#we were gods (we were kids)#wwg(wwk)#<-can't remember which tag i was using oh well #ask games #parkner #this is the original blue like don't forget about me draft if you were curious haha

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artzychic27 · 2 years ago

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DuPont Cheer Squad headcanons?

When DuPont finally got a cheer team and coach, every rich girl looking for her fifteen minutes of popularity went to tryouts doing basic ass backflips

That is not what Elsy Vestures (Bragging rights to the person who can figure out the reference of her name) is looking for

So, she kicks every single one of them out of the gym and threatens their social lives if they even think about coming back… (This should be a MASSIVE clue to her name, guys. Come on)

She’s looking for raw talent and finds it in the most unlikely of places

Nathaniel K.

“Doesn’t look like much, looks like the wind could knock him over. Hell, I kinda want to knock him over just for that hair.”

Nathaniel: Who the hell put my sketchbook on the basketball hoop?! Huh?!… Alright. Alix, launch me.

Alix: On it.

*Nathaniel gets a running start, runs, and Alix gives him a leg up. He grabs his sketchbook and ends with a tuck and roll*

She wants him

Cosette B.

“I can smell the sad home life on this one. Copes by making lame Bi puns. What have you got for me, kid?”

While not looking where they were going, Cosette tripped and nearly fell down the stairs, only to catch themself and perform a graceful front handspring

They belong to Elsy now

Jean D.

“Obviously a theater kid if that sweater has anything to say about it. Looks kinda familiar, though, and I hate remembering faces. Where have you been?”

After some endless scrolling, Elsy discovers that Jean was once a cheerleader at their old school and lead their team to three championships

“Mine!”

Austin A.

“Prissy bleached walking one dimensional valley girl alert. But I sense something in you, blondie, so wow me. Do a flawless flip for no reason, or something.”

Austin A: Ugh! You guys got the banner crooked! *Gets a running start, jumps, fixes the banner in mid air, and lands with a front flip* Better. Next time, don’t fuck up!

“Aw. It’s like looking in a tiny mirror.”

A. Spinelli

“Heh. Nice tough guy, routine, but I can smell your fear a mile away, punk. What are you trying to hide?”

During study hall, Elsy follows Spinelli into the auditorium where she finds him dancing to some music on his headphones… And it’s not terrible

That’s one of the best compliments she’s ever given someone

Ismael P.

*Sips coffee* “This shit sucks. Make this quick for me. What are you? A breakdancer? You do parkour? What?”

Ismael grinds down the stair rail on his skateboard, and midway, does an aerial flip, then a handspring on the end of the rail before he could face plant on it, and lands on his skateboard

Suddenly, the coffee’s beginning to taste much better

Juleka C.

“… Why did I go to this girl again? She’s just… She’s just listening to guitar music, what am I supposed to-“

Then Juleka comes up with lyrics on the spot, and they’re perfect

What’s a cheer squad without any actually good cheers?

Denice C./Ivan B.

“God, the things I could do with those biceps. But, I prefer to strike fear in the hearts of many the natural way. Besides that, they’re perfect! I need someone to throw red and Goldie locks.”

Elsy is even more on board when she sees Denise chuck an Akuma across the courtyard, and Ivan holds them overhead to keep them from getting away

She’s gonna have to order sleeveless uniforms. Once those two flex, there go the sleeves

Nino L.

“Gimme something, music man. What can I get from you? What do you have to offer besides the one pair of shoes at this shitty school that don’t make me have to hurl?”

Elsy finds Nino at one of his deejay gigs, and without yelling into the microphone, he projects his voice loud enough so that even those in the far back can hear

Elsy lost a bit of her hearing, but it was worth it

So, after threatening the principal with some incriminating photos, Elsy calls the students into the gym where she announces that she wants them on the cheer squad

Cosette: I beg your pardon?

Nathaniel: Ha! No!

Ivan: Nope.

Denise: Not in a million years.

Nino: No.

Spinelli: Not happening.

Austin A: Never.

Ismael: I can’t see that happening.

Juleka: You’ve got the wrong girl.

Jean: YES!

But, she’s able to convince them all to come to practice for a week and see what they think. Then, they’ll cheer at an upcoming basketball game and give her their answers afterward

Surprisingly, they enjoy it, and even more surprising to them, they’re actually good. Jean already knew he had skills, though

With their first appearance came some popularity, mostly from the athletes who thought they could swipe Denise, Nathaniel, and Jean

They know Zoé will punt them, Myléne will turn feral, Rose will hold a unicorn knife to their throats, and Alya will torture them online

So, they go for them, only to find Marc, Austin T, and Simon waiting for them with baseball bats

Marc: *Sharpening his cleats* You better start running.

This ⬆️with Nathaniel, Austin A, and Denise

Denise in a cheer skirt is not good for Simon’s health

Spinelli wears his fingerless gloves with his uniform

Reshma knitted Ismael a red and white cardigan to look like the jackets that come with the uniform

The Akuma class expects Juleka, Nathaniel, and Ivan to be a lot more bubbly, but they’re still the same antisocial bunch they know and love

Nino has full custody of the megaphone

Austin A requested a pink hair tie and sneakers instead of red

Jean has an HBIC crop top

They have sleepovers on the Liberty and watch every Bring It On movie

Cosette and Nathaniel dye the streamers of everyone’s pom poms, and Cosette does everyone’s eye makeup, and Nathaniel does any face paint for competitions

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #nathaniel kurtzberg #nino lahiffe #juleka couffaine #ivan bruel #jean duparc #mlb ocs #mlb au #cheerleader au

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kieselsteinn · 1 year ago

Text

which csh albums to listen to in order in my Opinion umm I wrote this for a friend and I’m not gonna reread it LMAO um there’s probably stuff in there that only caters to her

1. START at teens of denial it’s very cool there’s some long stuff and some short songs it’s a nice introduction to csh and it’s just like a very chill but emotional!! destroyed by hippie powers and drunk drivers / killer whales are the most emotional and in my brain I think they’re short and sweet but no they’re 5 and 6 minutes long ermmm that’s funny!! this is actually the album that kinda launched csh into the mainstream and got them on the tonight show with jimmy fallon along with twin fantasy. nice solid rock album.

2. if you want more emotional stuff, twin fantasy (face to face)!! I FUCKING LOOOOOOVE TWIN FANTASY!!!!! it’s very emotional and the end is fucking fantastic it’s like the telling of a story of teenage love that went oh so terribly wrong!! kind of umm yeah it’s really really good my personal favorites are beach life in death and bodys !! bodys is super electric and such a fun track it is so awesome I fuckin love that song!! beach life in death is so emotional and LONG (13 minutes) This album is actually a like redraw of the mirror to mirror 2011 version of this album (THAT I BOUGHT THE VINYL OF!!) that old version of the album is shorter and has shittier production quality but it has far more raw emotion. becuase that album was made while that shit was happening to will and not just to redo the music

3. teens of style umm if you want more cheerful stuff!! it’s super nice I don’t like it personally as much as like the original songs but it’s still great!! teens of style is like a compilation album of some older car seat tracks from monomania and my back is killing me baby!! my favorites are probably strangers, and something soon!! something soon is probably one of my favorite csh songs of all time I won’t lie I kinda prefer the mbikmb version ermmm you could PROBBALY relate to the lyrics it’s a very very good song!! strangers is also a fun Energic song that’s easy to get stuck in your head 😜😜 it’s also a nice way to introduce (prepare) yourself to some of the songs that are on this next album!

4. MONOMANIA. HOLY FUCKING SHIT MONOMANIA. Ummm well this album is a very sad emotional roller coaster. it’s very electric and experimental music wise. this is basically the continuation of twin fantasy (mirror to mirror) I would actually rlly recommend listening to them back to back!! these songs are absolutely fantastic ohh my god misheard lyrics kinda sucks BUT THE MEANING IS GREAT!! my favorites are los borrachos and Maud gone they r fantastic music wise (the drums on Los borrachos R SOOOO FUCKING GOOD) and I actually know maud gone on guitar teehee!! two tracks on here that are absolutely fucking soul crushing are souls and anchorite. some of the first csh songs I listened to!! Ahaha ohh my god 🙁 yeah they r really really really sad souls is like bodys but HEARTBREAKING!!!

6. how to leave town!! not a personal favorite! Really good though! it’s got more electric synth stuff on it and the first track is so fucking long Jesus Christ they did not need to make a SIX MINUTE LONG INTRO?? yeah this album is kinda forgettable but it’s got some real good shit! I really like hey space cadet (who doesn’t it’s absolutely fantastic) and beast monster thing umm itw as hard to choose favoirtes bc I rlly like some of these tracks!! this album is just really relaxing and then all of the sudden you’re sobbing uncontrollably and calling up a therapist dear lord

7. living while starving! kind of like an interlude to the csh albums it’s just a nice short ep with five songs I really like every song on there umm except devil moon and I hate living pls I swear I like them but they’re kinda forgettable !! this album has the best version of oh! starvibg i fucking loove it sm!!!! will’s redone taht song THREE different times but this is the best version I swear 🙏 this ep actually has their second most popular song! it’s only sex! which is really good but im not gonna talk about it 😊😊😊😊

8. nervous young man. THE BEST CSH ALBUM HOOOLY FUCK ITS SO GOOD!!!!!! There is a lot of variety in these tracks and some long ones, some short ones!! My favorites are I wanna sweat and fuck I can’t choose I’m just gonna list off like a ton of songs I like umm so some strange angel, knife in the coffee, big jacket, dreams fall hard, burning man, crows, the gun song (SO GOOD), jerks, and Boxing Day!! the gun Song and Boxing Day are so long (15 minutes each) but oh my god they are so emotional I love them so so so so much umm the reason this album is so far down on the like,, csh path is because IT IS TWOO HOURS LONG!! GOD it’s soo fuvking good though I actually made art based off of I wanna swear and I’m working on a. Dreams fall hard piece it’s soo yum

9. my back is killing me baby!! just a like 47 minute long album of a lot of short and sweet songs this is actually a super old album so the production quality is shitty to say the least! Umm I absolutely love every song off of this one except lawns because it’s soo 😭 unserious hes literally just complaining about picking up garbage?? every song is super upbeat and catchy and always fucking stuck in my head

10. MAKING A DOOR LESS OPEN! this album is really good you just have to be a big csh Fan to like it LMFAO umm it’s very experimental! it’s all electric stuff I really like deadlines hostile and life worth missing! this is very much so. Acquired,, taste but I swear it’s great! deadlines hostile is actually one of the first csh songs I listened to and it’s a great starter I won’t lie

11. twin fantasy (mirror to mirror) umm oops idk why I put this so far down I kinda forgot about it LMAOOO umm well it’s sooo strangles will toledo it’s very soul crushing compared to face to face. face to face feels more hopeful and cheerful but this version is soo sad dude oh my gof!! I actually like these versions of bodys, sober to death and nervous young inhumans more teehee they’re just better! these tracks just feel more personal I guess? like will Toledo is younger and he was making this album because this is what he was feeling at the time, but the newer version is just some really great retellings yk! I love the raw emotion and want to give this album a hug

12. 4 & 3 I put these in their one little group together bc they’re both pretty short and like,, they’re the numbered albums. These aren’t on any streaming services I don’t think besides youtube! And band camp! Soo I recommend 4 before you listen to 3 because 4 is just nice and a. Lot like my back is killing me baby! Some nice catchy stuff my favorite is probably that daniel johnston song idk I haven’t listened to the album in a while,, umm 3 is soo. EIEUGEVATWU that’s one album to cry to! beach funeral and beach fagz are fucjing soul crushing oh my god they are so sad esp the outro parts um don’t look up the lyrics to beach fagz tho and if you do don’t,, don’t ask me idk either man 🙁 3 is my favorite numbered album and I actually listen to it like regularly I fuckin love that album sm

13. BEFORE YOU LISTEN TO 1, 2, AND LITTLE PIECES OF PAPER WITH NO WRITTEN IN THEM LISTEN TO DISJECTA MEMBRA! it’s basically some outtakes of nervous young man and where the outro of the face to face version of famous prophets came from!! the songs on there are really good but I put it so low because it’s so deep in the rabbit hole. this album was only accessible if you bought nervous young man for a certain price on band camp back in 2013, so it’s literally ONLY on YouTube. I really like the song sinner it’s yum and also really sad Ermm DRUNK ON A WORK NIGHT IS ON THIS ALBUM I TJINK THAT SONG IS SOO FUVKING FUNNY!! YOU WERE ON METHBTHE WHOLE NIGHT?,!!,????

14. 1 and 2 these are soo,, what was going on man! um the production is shit because he was recording on a tape recorder LMAOO I like the emotion in these he does an awful lot of screaming. The original version of big jacket from nervous young man actually comes from 1 and that’s pretty cool I guess! I like the song where he goes THE FUCKING COOFFEE HOUSE I don’t remember which one it is umm I need to relistento these,, KID WAR IS ALSO RLLY GOOD

15. little pieces of paper with no written on them. Umm these songs has no written on them for a reason! this album is just basically Will releasing a bunch of experimental tracks he scrapped to the public because they’re still good,, the best song is I CAN TALK WITH MY EYES SHUT and it’s actually,, dare I say one of the best early csh songs DONT TELL ANYONE I SAID THAT THO

16. go to therapy

#car seat headrest #will toledo #autism #twin fantasy #monomania #teens of denial #teens of style #how to leave town

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