#the last book i read i got through 200 pages in a day because i was so invested (thank you grady hendrix i love you)

[practically-an-x-man]

ok y'know what here's the full post. here's all my gripes about this book from the perspective of a avid reader and lowkey feral writer

The grammar is a little dodgy. Not awful, not the worst I've ever read, but it doesn't flow super smoothly. Makes it hard to get lost in the book, but not bad enough to make me put it down

The character design is... strange, and maybe a little misogynistic. Each of the men has unique physical features and body types, but every woman is described with a "cute nose" and a "lithe, slender figure". none of them are above 5'6" or have any distinguishing facial features that aren't classically pretty.

On that note, genetics has also taken an exit. One woman has dark eyes with bright green around the iris (what?). Another has blonde hair with black roots - just naturally.

The same is true for the wolves. The main character starts out as a black wolf with silver streaks in his fur, and silver eyes. Another is brown with "dirty blonde" fur around her chest and legs, and golden eyes. It reads like My Immortal, the author's literally just throwing random traits at a dartboard because he thinks it looks cool

This is a book about werewolves - the full-wolf kind, not the monster kind. Yet somehow the author seems to have not researched wolf behavior at all. Every interaction is marked with either a growl or a chuff. Physical body language (which is a very significant part of wolf communication) is nowhere to be found. Where is the tail signalling? The ear movements? The posture and body movements? I'm not sure this author even owns a dog, since that would at least give him a leg up in canine body language.

Every new location is described with a long paragraph in so many levels of unnecessary, dry detail. The word I'd use to describe it is "Biblical", y'know "forty cubits by twenty cubits, and X begot Y and Y begot Z" for half a page

The dialogue just isn't how people talk??? It's the strangest attempts at slang that end up just sounding choppy and out-of-place, mixed with heavy exposition and too-formal detail (one interaction literally goes from "What the devil?" to "You can't load them down with tranquilizers. That stuff suppresses their respiratory system. Too much could kill them." The whole book is written like this.)

The main character is introduced very strangely? He starts out as a wolf, but it's literally page 9 that he transforms into a human. We don't get any sense of what he's like, what his motivations are, or any other grounds to connect with this character before it just dives right into the main part of the book. That's more of a personal gripe, not as big of an issue, but it leaves me feeling somewhat untethered to the story

Every character seems to act exactly the same. I'm only 35 pages in right now, so this might change (I'm hoping it does), but the characters don't have any distinctive speaking styles or physical mannerisms, and they all seem to act in exactly the same way. There's a minor conflict, the other characters just relent so the story can progress smoothly, and then it's just put aside. The characters don't even seem to have their own motivations, the author picks exactly two sides to each argument and it basically amounts to "yes" or "no" (i.e. there's no nuance to their perspectives)

[lil-melody-moon]

I think I said I'll give my thoughts about Keith's biography when I'm done with it and I'm almost done. Only afterthoughts left to read, but I've read all about his life and it was devastating to see how much of a wreck he was at the very end. Longer talks under the cut - and additionally, if the anon bitch is scouting my blog, feel free to read it as well and shit yourself in the process

Either way, my dears, read if you're interested 💜

@jimmysdragonsuit13 I think you'll be interested!

And @burn-on-the-flame I think you've asked about the opinion on the biography? Wait, let me search *a few seconds later* Yep, it was you! Come and read my thoughts about the book, if you want 💜

So, since the day one of my dear mutuals @m-faithfull told me about Keith's biography by Tony Fletcher in the last year, I was persistent to get it. I had hopes that maybe it was translated to Polish, but as it turns out, probably only Pete's autobiography was so I ended facing the fact that I will have to read it in English. And that meant paying an insane amount of money for a new copy (120 zloties for a book! - around 31,39$ or 23,75£)

But one day I thought to search for an used copy, hoping that maybe some poor sod bought it before me and to my surprise there were two copies, one for 40 zloties (10,46$ or 7,92£) and second for 30 zloties (7,85$ or 5,94£). I opted for the 40 zloties one, knowing what state can used copies of books be. The lower the price the more possibility of it having missing pages, the cover torn off etc etc. Here came my bestie @juliearchery107 who wanted to buy me it for birthday, she did, we've met at 14th of August and since I've stepped my foot in the flat and got everything answered, started to read it.

And oh dear Lord is that book a rollercoaster!

It starts innocently - if we skip the foreword, which hints that it'll not be an easy read - introducing Keith as the charming child who was up for jokes, the one who later stopped attending school and wandered about until he got his first drum kit, had a few lessons on how to play them, joined Beachcombers and from there went to The Who to the band that meant everything for him, to then find the girl he fell for like you do when you first fall in love while finding your soulmate, following with showing a possessive and nasty jealousy towards her, fucking things up in their marriage, becoming so abusive that she finally left him, which lead to depression, more alcohol, more drugs, which then started to develop in very serious problems, them piling up in Los Angeles to the level of Keith becoming a wreck by the end in 1978, in the meantime, finding support in his girlfriend - who I have to say, I'm thankful that she was there for him even if I know how impossibly difficult it was for her.

The way things went down in his life can be traced precisely with this book and that just shows how incredibly well put it is and how the narration is not in any way subjective, but objective almost through the entire reading - foreword has author's thoughts and the afterthoughts, but that is a given. Yet, I have to praise such objectivity, because a lot of biography authors cannot help themselves but write their subjective opinions, pushing their perspective onto readers, instead of showing facts and trying to find one possible outcome of a situation that has various versions - and with Keith and the myths that are told about him, it was a hell of a work. It also shows sometimes that author is sentimental to a lot of things, as being stated in foreword that he himself is a fan of Keith and let's be honest. There's no one better to write a book about an idol then a long time fan who's dedication will never burn out.

As for my thoughts... The first 300+ pages were okay to read. I had a blast, laughing at various points, even going as far to share one of the moments that was the most funny to me on his birthday. But the last 200+ pages? Oh dear Lord... Just oh dear Lord.

Just by the photos I have a TON of I could realise that Keith was a wreck in 1978, but I've never fucking expected it to be this bad. I knew about the drug abuse, knew about the alcohol abuse as well, but I didn't expect it to be that bad - to the point of having a few attempts on rehab, failing at them, proceeding to have alcoholic paranoia, fucking seizures because of the withdrawal, insecurities, self-confidence, self-worth teared to shreds, memory almost gone - it's very typical for alcoholic to say one thing and then forget about it 5 seconds later and them saying: "I didn't say that" - depression, maniacal depression even appearing later on, developing a split personality disorder, being unable to be controlled by anyone while the fits of anger were appearing more and more frequently, cheating getting out of hand and I could go on and on AND ON.

Reading about all of this and not being able to tell you, or even not being able to take pictures of fragments to send to bestie to let her see how bad it was because I would have to scan those 200+ pages to let her understand the circumstances should say a lot. Never did I like any mentions of Keith relocating to Los Angeles and for a good reason. That city only made it far worse for him and his tale there only shows that maybe, just maybe, letting your dreams come true ain't that fun as you expect them to be. Some might be, but in most cases, they aren't. You always gotta keep going, always have a goal in front of you to keep going and if you reach the end of the road - like Keith did many times throughout the tale - you might just realise "That's it? Nothing else?" and not know what to do with yourself.

Additionally, this was double hard for me to read, because at the beginning of March I've lost a dear friend of mine. It was a tumblr friendship, I'm talking about Anja here - she went by the url whothefuckisanja - and I often joked with her that her alcohol problem - it was severe, very very severe - is similar to Keith's and as it turns out, my jokes about that were brutally real. She also developed drug addiction later on as well and her life started to fade away slowly, very slowly. I only recently, a few months ago, realised that I saw her happiness fade away, realising also that that one day where she thanked me for being her best friend the entire year - our friendship lasted a full year - being grateful as to no one else before that that was her silent goodbye and a solid thank you, before she met the same fate as Keith, only much much earlier. And I'm not exaggerating about "the same fate". She wanted to go sober, as I heard. Pills did it for her, she fell asleep and never woke up again.

She once said to me, because I was there, wanting to help her with her growing alcohol problem that got worse at December, even if it were only futile tries through text: "Don't try to help an alcoholic" and I might add to it "because it'll leave you exhausted and terrified while you see the beloved one become a wreck."

I can say that what I've read about Keith I've almost experienced with her. She was very similar to him in many ways, not only addiction wise, but she was also very fun to be around, very easy to be befriended, generous beyond belief, creative and most of all, a good person at heart. So this reading journey was almost like a reflection of the year from March 2023 to March 2024. I remember now that she once joked that she's Keith Moon reborn and damn you, you bastard if you were right.

But I also have to get back on track and say this: even if I said all of this above, I somehow felt that it was way to familiar. Not like with what I said about Anja, but more like "I lived through that" kind of way. I didn't feel this throughout the entire tale, but at the last 200+ pages I did, especially when the seizures started appearing. In the last year, when I wrote my first fic with me and him - not published - I pondered if he had any alcohol withdrawal symptoms and I somehow guessed the depression, insecurities, insomnia problem and seizures. I have no idea how I knew that, I just did, implementing them in the fic.

Could be a coincidence, but there are too many with him in my life. Yet, there was a moment where I've stopped reading. It was right at the end, at the description of the funeral, at the date of it, which is 13th of September, according to the book.

A year ago, on September, while listening to random songs on spotify, suddenly "Love ain't for keeping" started playing. I looked at who it was, saw The Who and I was tempted to give "Who's next" album a listen - I was taking small steps to giving them a good listen from May, but this was the final push. That was on 11th of September.

I wanted to listen to "Who's next" on 12th of September, but I somehow hadn't. I could have been busy, but I know for sure I somehow forgot about it and moved listening to the next day. On night from 12th of September to 13th of September I had a dream with Keith, from which I only remember that we've talked about something. Keith was very happy, overjoyed even and all of a sudden he started pinching my cheeks, wanting to make me laugh, which he succeeded at.

And then on 13th of September I've finally listened to "Who's next", my obsession truly started and then a voice in my head saying "Welcome home" was heard by me. It was a male's voice, speaking fluent English.

True, I was waiting for a moment that will make me stop in my tracks and like during the documentary I've watched about Keith, where I've got a grasp of his behaviour, I had to pause the video with the realisation that his behaviour was something I knew somehow, but I didn't expect to get obsessed about The Who and Keith at the exact date his funeral took place.

You may call me delusional, I don't care. It's just there's too many coincidences with him appearing in my life at certain moments that I start believing these are not mere coincidences - if certain ghost will start appearing at the beginning of September, as I took notice he did for the past two years, I will flip!

In conclusion, I love the book, will read it to the end tomorrow probably. I've cried at the end, less than the first time I heard about Keith's death, but I did. This book only made me love him even more and I truly will never stop loving him.

This is the exact image of my feelings to him after reading about his life - I'm the tiny pumpkin, answering on the question:

Credits to the artist who made it, not mine, I cant't draw this well XD

[vanessaroades-author]

Let’s look at what happened from June 13th to July 13th. (ARCs, Preorders, Sales, Marketing!)

Note: I’m not talking about costs here and likely won’t ever. However, my author buddy JAL Solski has an awesome write-up on the costs, tax considerations, all sorts of numbers, of publishing their sapphic fantasy duology! I’m also very fond of Ros’s write-up on expectations and goals related to post-publication.

Before you start–some disclaimers on my experience

First, expect very little! These numbers will not impress you and honestly there’s a part of me that’s pretty embarrassed, like I'm advertising that I'm a big dummy who can't write. But all in the name of honesty & transparency!

Something I hear a lot from other new authors is, “Am I doing pretty good? Am I doing really badly? I don’t know.” Well, here’s another batch of numbers to consider!

Deep Roots is currently only available as an eBook & through Kindle Unlimited.

I’m not writing anything trendy. By a long shot. I can throw “queer fantasy” on it but that’s kinda the most I got. (When’s the last time you saw a runaway indie hit that didn’t have a ton of romance?)

I’m not popular on social media (260 IG followers with on average <10% engagement and <200 TikTok followers).

I have so many friends in my corner. Someone should stop you at the gate to the Indie Publishing Amusement Park of Hell and tell you, “Listen, if you want any hope of staying sane, make author friends.” Besides helping you navigate tech questions or giving second opinions on your cover, and, you know, understanding and empathizing with you, your friends will be the ones who comment on your posts, repost them, tell their friends, add you in their newsletter, read, and review. That can mean sales…but that also means having people lift you up and celebrate with you.

Advance Reader Copies

I began posting about ARC sign-ups April 4th, sent the first round of eBooks ~May 5th, and closed applications on June 2nd.

I didn’t use a service like Booksprout or Booksirens, just plain old BookFunnel and email (therefore my reach was entirely reliant on my social media efforts). I was most talkative about it on Instagram. I only posted like once or twice on Tumblr and TikTok, but they went really well for my standards.

Sign-Ups: 51

Reviews/Ratings:

By publication day I had 4 ratings/reviews on Goodreads, 1 on Amazon, and 1 on StoryGraph.

After 31 days I had 6 reviews and 10 ratings on Goodreads. 1 extra rating on StoryGraph; Amazon stayed the same.

Note: I was really lax with my ARC team about when reviews should be sent in. I was clear that I didn’t care if they were pre-publication (partly because well…I read ARCs a lot and I know I can’t always get to things on time, and partly because I didn’t decide a publication day until fairly late in the timeline).

However, from what I’ve seen for other authors, a pretty low return on ARC readers isn’t entirely uncommon? Kind of a kick in the confidence regardless.

Preorders

Total of 7. I don’t remember when I opened preorders, but I believe it was around the same time as the ARC application.

Marketing (sort of) from June 13th to July 13th

I ran a small (kinda last-minute) campaign for extra merch & an extra story for anyone who preordered or purchased during release week. I said that I would re-run this campaign for paperbacks.

These are my Tired Girl numbers:

Instagram: 5 posts specifically about DR. 2 non-DR related.

TikTok: 7 videos specifically about DR, most getting ~300 views, though one broke 1k. (Notably, I didn’t post about the release week extras on TikTok at all.). 2 non-DR related.

Tumblr: One post I would send spinning around the block every once in a while. Definitely lowest priority.

Release Week Sales

eBook: 3

KU: 15 pages read

Release Month Sales

eBook: 4

KU: 594 pages read

Future Plans

*Releases one giant sigh* I’M FREEEEEE

Once the book is written and done, cover made and words edited, there’s only one thing left in your control: marketing. Everything else is up to chance (honestly, marketing is up to chance a lot of the time, too).

But I pretty quickly decided to take it easy on social media. A wave of burn-out that had been chasing me since last summer finally caught up, and I don’t think I’m alone in saying that when I saw like no return on investment for my posts or chatter, I was like, “Okay, I’m going to rest, instead of pushing this boulder up this hill, then. I deserve it.”

One plus of having paperbacks come out way after the eBooks? I get release day Part 2! (With fun new props for pics and videos!) I have a good list of video ideas & drafts, but I would always look at them and think, “Wouldn’t this be better to do when the paperbacks are around?” And soon, they will be!

As for blog posts, I want to continue being transparent with things like this. I will (hopefully) catch up on the numbers again near the end of August, as by then I’ll be making the decision to keep Deep Roots in KU for another three months or not.

Until then, lower your expectations! It’ll keep you sane out here. Thanks for reading and hanging out.

[ninja-muse]

As you might know if you saw my review the other day, my December felt very slumpy even though I read a lot of good books. I suspect this is because of book hangovers and working a busy Christmas retail season. (I also didn't write much because I kept coming home too wiped to think.)

But it was a good month! I managed to get to a couple new releases that I really wanted to, and I knocked a lot of books off my physical TBR because none of my ARCs looking interesting. I did have a DNF again, though, of a book that I was really hoping would be great. Isn't that always the way?

I also had two rereads! One because sometimes when you're at a loss to read, you pick up Pratchett, and one because I'd promised myself I'd get to it this year and dash it, I was going to! Weirdos of the Universe, Unite! was one of the most seminal books of my childhood, and it wasn't until I reread it that I realized just how much it was. I saw a lot of my personal attitude to life in Maddy, it was probably my first true urban fantasy even though there's a whole act on a spaceship, Baba Yaga is there as a very cranky but practical sort of witch…

As for my book haul, I just want to say that it was Christmas and I didn't actually buy anything? My parents came through with some really oddball picks, as I'd expected, my sister gifted me one of her favourite reads of the year, and friends helped feed my T. Kingfisher addiction. (More on that in my yearly wrap-up.)

But the book I'm most excited to have gotten is Hogfather, and not because of the pretty cover though that's a bonus. It is, in fact, the most astounding misprint I've ever seen and I couldn't pass up a chance at a free copy. I mean, how many times do you find a beloved book in which the entire thing is bound backwards?! Thank goodness the publisher didn't want it back, is all I'm saying.

And that's probably about it! I have no idea what book I'm going to start 2024 with, because I sort of read 200+ pages of Persepolis Rising last night so I could knock it off my list and now I'm recovering from the binge.

And now without further ado, in order of enjoyment…

A Power Unbound - Freya Marske

Jack, Alan, and their friends must find a hidden artifact and foil a plot. This would go better if Jack and Alan got along.

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 main characters (gay, bi man), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (gay, bi woman, lesbian, genderfluid) 🏳️‍🌈 author

All the Hidden Paths - Foz Meadows

Velasin and Caethari are still feeling out their relationship when they’re summoned to the capital and almost immediately find themselves targeted again..

7.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main characters (mlm), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (mlm), mute secondary character, cast of colour, 🏳️‍🌈 author warning: anxiety, aftermath of trauma, dubious consent

Last Chance to See - Douglas Adams with Mark Carwadine

A bumbling science fiction author travels the world in search of endangered animals.

7/10

Illuminations - T. Kingfisher

Rosa wants to help her artist-magician family, but instead she accidentally releases a creature bent on destroying them!

8/10

Lovecraft Country - Matt Ruff

Two Chicago families in the 1950s become caught up in a world of cults, ghosts, monsters, and magical danger. Fortunately, they’ve had lots of practice at mistrusting white folks.

7.5/10

primarily Black cast

warning: depicts Jim Crow-era racism, including slurs; also abusive family dynamics

Persepolis Rising - James S.A. Corey

Thirty years on, the system has achieved a new normal. So of course one of the colony planets decides it’s time to shake things up.

7.5/10

very racially diverse cast

Remarkably Bright Creatures - Shelby Van Pelt

A cleaner at an aquarium mourns her losses. A young California man seeks his absentee father. The resident octopus tries to bring them together.

7.5/10

Jamaican secondary character, Korean-American secondary character

Ragnarok - A.S. Byatt

A child in wartime discovers Norse mythology, and the ways myths and the world reflect each other.

7.5/10

warning: animal cruelty and injury

While Idaho Slept - J. Reuben Appelman

Four students are murdered in a single night, and what came before and after.

7/10

warning: violent murders

Monstress, Volume 3 - Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda (illustrator)

Maika finds temporary refuge from the people chasing her, but the local leaders want a favour in return.

7/10

one-armed protagonist, cast of colour, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (sapphic), Taiwanese-American author and Japanese-American illustrator

Reread

Weirdos of the Universe, Unite! - Pamela F. Service

Mandy and Owen get assigned a mythology paper, but then the characters they pick start coming to life and insisting they have a great purpose.

Black secondary character, Indigenous secondary character, Chinese secondary character

warning: somewhat lazy depictions of Indigenous and Chinese people

The Unadulterated Cat - Terry Pratchett with Gray Jolliffe (illustrator)

A humourous celebration of all things cat.

DNF

The Undetectables - Courtney Smyth

Someone’s committing Occult murders and a crack team of Occult investigators has been called in. Or, they’re totally going to be the crack team someday, at least.

main character with fibromyalgia, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian), fat secondary character, Chinese-British secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 author

Currently reading:

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts.

The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle Victorian detective stories

major disabled character

warning: racism, colonialism

Stats

Monthly total: 11+1 Yearly total: 128/140 Queer books: 2 Authors of colour: 1 Books by women: 6 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 0 Off the TBR shelves: 7 Rereads: 2 Books hauled: 8 ARCs acquired: 2 ARCs unhauled: 2 DNFs: 1

January February March April May June July August September October November

[chenfordspiral]

43, 44, 45, 48, 49, 50

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written? Mh, probably the two I got that turned into this 4x18 AU. It’s honestly one of my favorites I’ve written, and interestingly enough, when I reread it a while back, it felt so foreign because I could barely remember even writing it. But that was fun because it was like I was reading it from an “outsider” POV, if that makes sense. There's two more that I love, as said here, but for once I made a decision and will stick with it. @escapismqueen could fill a book about me and my indecisiveness, and I hope she's proud of me for choosing only one here.

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts? Mh, I don’t think I’ve actually gotten many dialogue ones yet, at least not ones that I can remember right off the bat so I’ll say scenario/narrative prompts. 

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic? Oy, this is tough because it often feels like I haven't improved at all? I do like to think I've broadened my vocabulary (also thanks to reading so many fics), but I'm not sure if that makes it onto the page. Maybe I'm less terrified of hitting that post button now than I was a year ago and trust myself more to pull something off that maybe I would've shied away from before. The better question for me would be "what have you not improved on?" lol

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? I can honestly say that I don’t know the last one I read, it’s been that long. I’ve got about – and no, I’m not joking – 200 AO3 tabs open on my phone with fics I want to read or need to catch up on. Wait! I do know which one! I re-read this one here from Tara because it was the first that came to mind for the chenford fanfic quotes blog. And yes, I absolutely, 100000% recommend it!!! 

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it! Already answered here, but: aside from Little bit of Love, I’m also always (and by that I mean every day) trying to weave my way through an AU that I’ve been working on for… welp, almost a year. Here’s a tiny little sneak peek from what will likely be the first or second chapter. It’s still a long, loooong way from seeing the light of day, though. 

“Geez, Tim. Way to be positive,” Angela sighs. “She won’t like you a whole lot either with that attitude.”  “Great, so case closed. We’re not doing this,” he says and starts to get up from his place opposite of her. “Tim,” she whines and grabs a hold of his arm to keep him from leaving. “Come on. What could it hurt? Just one date. You can see how it goes, and if it’s absolutely horrible and you sit there in silence for two hours, you can go home and call and yell at me for being wrong.”  “Lopez.” “Timothy.” “Stop calling me that.”  “Stop being stubborn.”

Oops, forgot 50 🤦🏼‍♀️ 50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about! All I can say is that I love this amazing community on here. The last few months in particular have been so much fun, and I love engaging with you all here. It genuinely feels like a home and I'm so grateful to get to be a part of it.

Thank youuu 🫶🏻

[v171]

My year in books, 2023

2023 was a pretty good year as far as reading went. Was my lowest reading year for the past three years with the goal of finishing 40 books, and ending up finishing 45 (finished 50 last year), but that's okay. This happened to be a very good video gaming year, so reading took the backseat a bit. Watch me nerd out about my book stats below!

I like crunching some basic metrics around my reading each year, mixing some stuff from Goodreads, TheStoryGraph, and some of my own calculations. Let's start with the basics.

God The Priory of the Orange Tree was the first book I read last year, and it feels like forever ago. I really did try to get to the prequel this year, but it fell through the cracks!

Otessa Moshfegh has quickly become one of my favorite authors. I can't wait to read her entire backlog of works. And of course I stan Ann Leckie, I'll always read whatever she puts out. Was so thankful to get to read an advance copy of a short story collection she has coming out.

Man I read a lot of sci fi this year. Usually sci fi and fantasy are a bit more balanced, but I read some really good sci fi this year, so I was stuck on it. Notably, I didn't read any nonfiction, romance, or thrillers the whole year. I usually get a couple of those in.

My book ratings look pretty good for 2023, lots of 4 stars and few 2s and 3s. Standard disclaimer, I usually stop reading books that I really don't like, so I generally don't have many one-star reviews because I just stop reading them and I don't rate books that I don't finish.

This is interesting, because in previous years, I didn't really read any ebooks ever. What changed this year was that I got on Netgalley, a site where you can read advance copies of books to provide feedback to publishers before the books release, and they generally provide an ebook for you to read. Extra surprising that I read more that way than audiobooks, which have been on a slow decline given the fact that I don't do a ton of activities that can be paired with listening to a book these days.

I read at least one science fiction book for six months out of the year. Actually pretty surprised to see so much Historical Fiction on here as well as I don't really like that genre.

Damn, I sound like a broken record, but this makes it clear how much I really enjoyed science fiction 13 of the 16 sci fi books I read got a 4 or 5 star. Surprising to see that contemporary fiction got mainly middling ratings, that's generally my second favorite genre. I know I read a lot of fantasy, but I don't actually tend to love a lot of it lol. But this looks like a successful fantasy year as far as ratings go.

Man, 100-200 page books had it rough this year. This is interesting to me, I think the 300-400 range is my ideal, and while it had a similar number of 4/5 star ratings as the 400-500 range, it obviously had some duds in there too. But I'm surprised to see how much I seemed to enjoy the really long books, usually I start to get pretty bored at the 450 page mark.

This is one of my favorite graphs because it shows the months where I rush to finish short books so I can keep up with my reading goal of the year. July seems to be particularly egregious with reading 5 books but not even reading 1000 pages total. I always start the year with the long books...

This is a new metric for me, I decided to compare my rating of books with their average rating on goodreads to see how much I generally agreed/disagreed with the average. This was honestly probably not the best year to do this as I mentioned before, I read a lot of ARCs (advanced reader copies) meaning they have few to no ratings, so my ratings of them skewed the average quite a bit, throwing this whole thing into question (I didn't record number of ratings so I couldn't put in error bars, and I'm lazy and don't know stats that much). Anyway, in this graph, the size of the bubble indicates the number of books I read at that rating during the year, so you can see the 1 star bubble is small because I didn't read a ton of books I rated 1 star. This is such an interesting pattern though, my 1 star books aren't the lowest average, but they're pretty low, but my 5 star books are definitely the best. But the 2-4 star books are a bit all over the place. I'm interested to see how this will map over time when I throw in some of the previous years in

Anyway, that's all I have. I'm going to bump up my goal back to 50 this year, hopefully I can tackle it. I'm hoping to get involved in some book clubs as well, so I hope that'll keep me honest. I don't think people actually care about these posts, but keep an eye out for some more bookish posts soon as I dive into some of the notable reads of last year. To end, here's all of the books I read in 2023

[ha-youwish]

This is not a vent post, it’s a book recommendation and self-analysis kinda. Please consider reading this, I won’t blame you if you don’t.

Last year around this time, my granddaddy passed away. Usually, online and in formal spaces I would call him my grandfather, but that’s not what I call him and I will not limit myself for this post.

Last year around this time I was beginning my second semester of college ever. I was not doing so well. My grades were low because my attendance was abysmal and my work outside the class was shit. However the previous semester I had taken a class that I was able to stick around for more than the rest.

This class was studying how different major religions and cultures coped with death and how they thought of the afterlife. I bought the books for that class with financial aid and never read them.

Just now I got done reading one of the books, When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner, never read it until I found it sitting around today.

It’s a relatively short book, under 200 pages, about how Kushner deals with the question “Why do bad things happen to good people?” from his place as a rabbi.

Now I don’t have any sort of relationship with god. i’m not strictly atheist or anything but i tend to believe in whatever religion people want me to believe in if they ask me to pray for them or a family member.

when grandaddy died, i had nothing to fall back on. granddaddy was extremely religious and generous, i am so incredibly grateful he was involved in my life and there for me. but people from his church said it was a part of god’s plan or that there was a reason he passed when he did and when i was in such a low state at college already.

i moved away to college and the landlord sold my home. i was in an unfamiliar uncomfortable place where the only place i felt fully comfortable was now completely inaccessible. my mom moved in with grandaddy and took care of him before he passed. it was tense. he was kind but old and stubborn and so is everyone else. the drain of taking care of someone can be worth it, but that doesnt mean its not there.

i was, and am, dealing with severe depression surrounded by other gloomy people who didnt make it much better. i never went to class and i had, and have, crushing guilt that i was wasting the time and money of my family.

and then granddaddy went to the hospital. and then he died. and its unfair.

all of it is unfair, and if it was a part of gods plan then hes fucking unfair too.

now, i have not necessarily moved on. my fingers shake still if i think about it too long. i dont even know if im going to post this because of how exposed and raw i feel. but its important to me that somehow in some way this gets expressed and that someone other than myself will read it.

your suffering was unfair, whether it was a lot or a little. the world is unfair. we all know it. i hope you know that you will never be able to look into the eyes of someone who has never known suffering, and i hope you can find some comfort in that connection.

this book is from the point of view from a religious man. it talks a lot about a god i dont believe in. but the way it talks about suffering and how it effects people makes it helpful for me to parse my own feelings and thoughts.

so feel free to replace god with whatever you want, with humanity and spirit and the universe and everything good. here are some quotes, alt text included:

- sometimes i convince myself that what i feel is nothing more than chemicals, that the regret i feel from not driving home the day before and visiting before he passed was just something my mind is doing.

i once stayed up late at grandaddys house after he passed and i was shoved right back into school like my life hadnt just gotten its shit rocked.

my mom was in her room asleep, but i really couldn’t take it anymore. we stayed up late just talking through how we felt after i had cried to her. and to be completely honest, hearing that she had regrets and wished for just a little more time fucking sucked. knowing the people around you are going through it sucks, even if it was to be expected

but we connected over that long early morning. we resolved almost nothing. i felt the same as i did before and granddaddys still dead and buried. but it was easier to go on after that.

another quote, a tldr if you don’t want to read the book but want to understand what he gets at, in the end of it all.

i dont think i can forgive other people for being unfair, not without effort. but i think i can forgive the universe because the unfairness is proof that people have choices. shit happens, you choose what to do after it.

for a lot of people, mourning and religion bring them the strength to move on, as he talks about in the book. things dont get better because of prayer that god will fix everything or the universe will set itself right again or you can escape through fantasy books to another world,

they get better because something gives us strength to get up again and keep moving. to kushner, thats god and people who came together to support him. to me, i dont know yet, i dont know if i’ve really started to pick up my life yet. but i think this book helped me start to see the bigger picture

[benkyoutobentou]

31 Days of Productivity Reading: Day eleven

Before: It's already halfway through the day and I'm just now starting this post. I wanted to study a bit this morning, but ended up browsing streaming sites for at least an hour. Why? Because I woke up to an announcement for the next minimmersion weekend! I'll be streaming the last few episodes of Sk8 The Infinity, but I'd also like to stream a movie (and now I have an idea or two for what to stream).

I also went to a nearby nature preserve with my dog for a hike. Plenty of other people were enjoying the beautiful spring weather, and Coco even got to play with some other dogs.

After: 独り舞 often mentions literature and authors, but I didn't notice that one of the authors that they frequently refer to is one who I own a book from until they specifically brought up that book! I picked up Notes of a Crocodile by Qiu Miaojin (I didn't link the Japanese pronunciation of the name to the pinyin that I'm familiar with) a few weeks back after the title caught my eye. I had never heard of it before, but after reading the synopsis, I figured it was fate that it would catch my eye and decided to buy it. Seeing it mentioned in this book just confirms that thought in my mind, I was definitely meant to have it in my life! I plan on reading it first thing next month, after I'm done with this challenge.

I did a little math and found that if I quicken my average reading pace just a bit to four minutes per page, a 200 page novel would still take me about thirteen hours to complete. At an hour per day, that's nearly two weeks. Yay language learning... But that's okay, it means I'm getting my money's worth out of these books, right? And I can still finish a book of that size in a week if I read for two hours per day. 頑張るよ。

I ended up reading for an hour and sixteen minutes today and eighteen pages, for an average reading speed of 4.2 minutes per page. I'm slowly creeping towards that four minutes per page mark! So far, I've noticed that this book loves kanji more than anything I've ever read before. Words that I didn't know had kanji are being written in kanji. It certainly is an exercise, but I'm enjoying myself. Off topic, I nearly forgot where I started reading today and thought I read only eight pages. That was a momentary shock to the system, I knew I wasn't that slow of a reader.

[aphel1on]

tag someone you want to get to know better

tagged by @woobifiedvillain a few days ago and finally remembered to do it!!

Favorite color: Yellow, but not an overwhelming yellow, like that soft warm yellow? I love it. People tend to not expect this answer, I think I give off more of a blue or grey vibe. Honestly a pretty grey/silver is probably my second favorite color, but a buttery yellow is just so good for the soul.

Last song: You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. Danced to it in the kitchen, got consumed by the guitar riffs, nearly knocked a chair over. Before this morning it would've been the Genshin OST... I've been listening to it a lot while I write or do chores recently.

Last movie: An exceedingly mediocre romcom on Netflix that I watched with my sick mom to be nice. Genuinely couldn't tell you the title or more than like, two or three plot points. Last movie that I watched bc I wanted to was the Barbie movie, which was genuinely better than I expected. Enjoyable but would still give it, like, a mixed review. I'm not getting into two months' ago Barbie Movie Discourse on this post

Currently watching: I'M STILL TRYING TO FINISH THE UNTAMED!!!! woobifiedvillain i'm speaking directly to you and quoting you: i too am "chronically incapable of paying attention to visual media, even the good shit" and when i try to explain this to people irl they act like i am insane!!! I haven't watched Good Omens season 2 yet even tho I am reblogging posts about it rn. I think it's mostly adhd, or really just a part of the larger Neurodivergence Soup (tm) that makes it nearly impossible for me to learn something from a YouTube video. I mean, sometimes for a hands-on task a video is essential, but can't there be a written list of instructions to go with it too, bc that sticks in my mind way better sobs... ANYWAY i'm currently on episode 43 of The Untamed, so I should be able to finish it by, like. The end of the year at least lol?

Currently reading: I started reading SVSSS recently because, like. The mxtx mania is in full throttle. I just got here a little later than most people lmao. I'm also currently "reading" like seven different books that I bought or pirated this year and have on hold. One of my Unfortunate Skills is bingereading like 200 pages of something in 1-2 days and then not finishing the rest of it for 8 months.

Currently working on: Keep My Shadow Alive, my big xue yang-centric fix it fic!!! Well, more like a fix it, and then break it more, and then eventually actually fix it fic. Starting from the canon divergence of "Add Pre-Teen Xue Yang to the Burial Mounds Fam" and going from there. I read every fic like that that's on ao3 and was still being eaten alive by the brainworms so I started writing my own take on it and ~6 months later it's the longest fic I've ever written and only 25% of the way through its outline???? So. Who knows if it will get finished (my track record is admittedly not great)- but I've had such a blast writing it so far. Xue Yang is just SO fun to write. Yes it has a plot and character arcs and I could even go full English Major* and start telling you about its Themes, but also it's just an excuse to write Xue Yang interacting with every member of the MDZS cast. Going to STOP talking now bc I fully am the type of writer who will get carried away talking about their wips.

*i am not an english major, but spiritually i am an english major.

Current obsession: Yeah uh, MDZS. My friend convinced me to finally read it in January of this year, and the hyperfixation train has simply not stopped since then. Genshin Impact also dragged me back in with the Fontaine update and I've been having a lot of fun playing it. But MDZS is still mostly the thing that's eating up my RAM. Particularly the Yi City crew, but 3zun is rotating in there too. Sometimes even The Man WWX Himself, i talk about him less but i do love him a lot also lol

Tagging: I'm honestly too shy to do this!!! But thank you for tagging me anyway<3

[firawren]

Asks about my OTPs

Pick your top 10 OTPs without reading the questions, then answer the questions after you've made your list

Elizabeth and Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)

Belle and Beast (Beauty and the Beast 1991)

Anne and Wentworth (Persuasion)

Chuck and Sarah (Chuck)

Killian and Emma (Once Upon a Time)

Peeta and Katniss (The Hunger Games)

Stede and Ed (Our Flag Means Death)

Catherine and Henry (Northanger Abbey)

Snow and David (Once Upon a Time)

Leslie and Ben (Parks and Recreation)

Now here are the questions and answers!

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6? – Probably some time during the second book, when they really become a team protecting and comforting each other.

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2? – Haha yes, and written many!

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver? – Nope!

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be? – They kind of are broken up? It's devastating, but I hope season 2 will fix it!

5. Why is 1 so important? – Because they got me into the entire Jane Austen universe, which is one of my main interests and hobbies now.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship? – Mostly serious, but they have their funny moments.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry? – Elizabeth and Darcy or Chuck and Sarah.

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond? – Probably Peeta and Katniss since they went through such intense trauma together.

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom? – 3 times, and I'll do it again.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest? – I don't know what this means. In their canon? Snow and David have been together for over 40 years by the end of the show, I think. In my heart? I've been into Belle and Beast ever since the movie came out over 31 years ago. In fandom? Elizabeth and Darcy have been going strong for over 200 years!

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up? – I suppose they weren't really a couple during the period where Peeta wanted to murder Katniss lol! Plus they were fake dating and fake engaged for most of their relationship, so it's hard to tell what "broken up" means in this sort of context where they're not truly together to begin with.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8? – 2, because Beast is a literal beast with claws and fangs and crap, and Belle is very smart. 8 are sweet little cuties who would get killed immediately lol!

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason? – They both were kind of in denial about liking each other romantically, but that's not really the same thing. And they kind of broke up right after officially acknowledging they wanted to be together! I guess Stede was hiding his relationship when he went back to Mary.

14. Is 4 still together? – Kind of. The awful series finale makes their future murky.

15. Is 10 canon? – Yep, all of these ships are. I'm basic haha!

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win? – Well Beast is the most dangerous physically, but he wouldn't want to kill anyone. So I'm going with Chuck and Sarah due to their physical training and Sarah's skill and lack of remorse over killing anyone she needs to.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship? – Mostly Emma herself haha! I guess Neal and David kind of did, but not really actively/aggressively.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond? –  I strongly believe in all of them, but Belle and Beast are the most in need of defense because some people see them as toxic, so I'm the most prickly about defending their relationship, I guess.

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page? – Nope, they're not super popular on Tumblr. I think only 1, 5, and 7 have a strong presence on Tumblr.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink? – I guess Catherine and Henry just because they could each easily find someone else to love and be happy with and not be forever devastated by their breakup. They're not, like, soulmates, just two cute young people who happened to get thrown together.

Tagging some people if they want to do this: @loonysama, @thefamilybruno, @annaofthenorthernlights, @bad-at-names-and-faces, @thecassadilla, @keeshya6, @bethanydelleman, @thatscarletflycatcher + anyone else! (No pressure to do this as usual!)

[explosionshark]

hiii i just wanted to ask two things: 1. how do you find so much time to read as much as you do? i have several books on my shelf that i'm going through at a snail's pace, lol. and 2. with as much music you listen to, do you ever get a song stuck in your head distracting you as you read? i feel like this happens to me all the time

Hey! The answer for the first question is multi-part, so I hope you don't mind me rambling a bit.

The shortest possible version is that it's a mix of routine and the fact that (aside from listening to music) reading is my primary form of entertainment. I mean, I DO watch movies and TV, but usually with other people. When I'm alone and relaxing after work, it's usually with a book.

Tbh over the last handful of years I've noticed myself having a harder time focusing on watching shows or movies without being distracted. I'll go into something with the intention to focus and absorb and find myself eight minutes in with my phone in my hand, having to rewind bc I got distracted scrolling through my messages or my Tumblr feed or whatever and I've missed something. Reading is easier for me to focus on when I'm by myself because I can't multitask it. I'm doing it or I'm not.

Another thing that helps is mixed mediums. I'm pretty lucky in that the job I have allows me to wear headphones, so I can take advantage of audiobooks. Reading shorter books and novellas also helps make that book count bigger at the end of the year and shorter formats like that can help if you feel like you're intimidated by or struggling with a longer work. At the end of 2022 my final count was 71 total books - broken down it's 36 novel-length books (ebook or physical format), 13 novellas (sub 200 pages) and 22 audiobooks.

All this is very practical but a huge part of this is like motivation, right? Part of the reason it's easy for me to make reading into a habit is I stay excited. And a big part of that is quitting.

I love quitting! I think there's no wrong reason to quit a book. It sounds counterintuitive but when I was first getting back into reading, allowing myself to seek out books that were entertaining to me and to drop books I wasn't enjoying very much was a huge factor. I'm not saying there's no reason to read challenging books or push yourself, but people read for different reasons and since I'm reading primarily for entertainment, it's nice to give myself the freedom of not having to meet some arbitrary standard for "important" work and just to read about what if a lady fell in love with her hot boss or what if there was a monster in your spaceship or whatever.

Lastly, I'm always looking for new recommendations. There's a few booktubers I like, there's some subreddits for horror and SFF I keep up with, a couple podcasts I'm into, book review websites I check in on and, of course, stuff my friends push in front of me. It's easier to stay motivated or hyped up to keep reading if you're plugging into a shared experience, right? It's fun to share in someone else's excitement!

Anyway I know that's a long, messy answer but hopefully it's thorough. If you're having a hard time bc you're not really thrilled with what you're reading, I'd try putting it aside for now and looking for something to get you really excited. If you're into it but struggling anyway, I think you could try starting small by just setting aside 30 minutes or an hour every day at the same time and reading as much as you can within that timeframe! Make it something that's just part of your day.

And as for the second question - not really. I like having music on in the background while I read, so I don't usually have songs in my head distracting me. The only thing I can't really tune out is speech - it's really hard for me to read in a room where people are talking. If you're struggling with this a lot maybe try listening to some ambient music in the background while you read? Could help with distracting your brain enough to stifle the part that wants music, but hopefully not enough to keep you from paying attention to your book. Idk. (If you want ambient suggestions I'd say The American Dollar, Rachika Nayar, Olafur Arnalds, and Helios are all good places to start)

Anyway hiiiii happy new year, I hope something nice happens to you this week 💖

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

February 2024 Reading Wrap Up

The Calendar

Unfortunately I sadly had to break my 405 reading streak as I have been terribly ill with presumably the 100 day cough. I was just too tired and ill to do anything. I'm on the mend but unfortunately February's reading ended on a low because of this.

Finally finished Will which was such a relief. I was worried it was gonna clog up February but thanks to a unexpected a + e trip I luckily got to finish it quicker. Its a very good memoir but it tried to balance being a self help and account of Will Smiths life and as a result made it very overwhelming. Might Reread this again in the future but we shall see.

Still as of this post Reading through Black Spire but I hope I'll be able to finish it in March, we shall see. Its not a perfect story and really confusing without reading Phasma but still pretty decent especially on the world building. Fazbear Frights 4 is easily the best novel out of the bunch I have read. It focuses on the themes of Family and Fixing Past Mistakes but still expands and keeps to the og lore. Coming Home is the best out of the three short stories.

Man so far I'm loving the 8th Doctor Adventures and agree it was absolutely necessary to jump into Big Finish through this series due to the similar style to New Who. I hope the 2 hour stories are as good. Just purchased Dark Eyes 1 and Out Of Time 1 this month and excited to build up an exciting Big Finish catalogue to listen too. Horror Of Glamrock was a very unique and interesting story as well as incoperating rock music in a fun way. It makes me excited to see what other fun new ideas Big Finish have done with their stories. Miss Bernard Cribbins and it was nice to hear him on audio again. Immortal Beloved used Greek Mythology in a fun way and is definitely one of the best Big Finish audios I have listened to so far. It debated the ethics of cloning and appealed to older Whovians in a brilliant way. Paul MacGann was excellent in this and I feel like this audio allowed him to really develop the complexity of his character. No matter the audio length I vow to devour Big Finish in one day.

I think that this month was so crammed full of books due to how many shorter 200+ books I read. It took about 7 days too read the incredible Doctor Who novel, The Way Through The Woods and Different Not Less, 12. Both absolutely fantastic like I mentioned. I knew Different Not Less would hit hard but I didn't realise just how hard.

Overall a good reading calender that will hopefully improve in March now that I'm feeling a lot better.

February's Stats

Looks so much better than my January Stats layout that I did. Credits to LeeBee Reads as her templates are so much better for showing off Storygraph Stats. Wish I'd shrunk things down a bit but apart from that all good. With that being said let's break down the Stats from left to right.

So in February I read and listened to in total 6 books. 4 Books and Two Audio Dramas. Pages wise I managed to read 1,123 which is 168 pages up from February 2023. An absolute huge improvement which I'm proud of myself for. Then I listened to 2.27 hours between both Big Finish Stories I delved into. Nevermind 2023, February compared to January this year was alot better despite falling off at the end. I'm excited to see what March will bring me in terms of pages and listening hours.

In terms of Genre, Science Fiction absolutely devoured once again but that can be expected considering how much Big Finish I've been listening too. Whilst Young Adult dominated last year, I definitely think Science Fiction is gonna be the winning genre of 2024. In second place was of course Memoir as I managed to finish Will and Different Not Less. Two very informative and life changing memoirs. But with Science Fiction, Memoir, Video Games, Young Adult, Self Help And Horror. February sure was an interesting month when it came to genres.

My profile has not changed much at all. As much as I have started to branch out and look at more Non-Fiction Recs unfortunately my profile will remain mainly reads Fiction. Like I've tracked and compared to Fiction I only have 80 Non-Fiction on it so yeah. My most popular moods are Adventurous, Dark and Mysterious which is again definitely not changing anytime soon but we shall see. I definitely need to balance my Dark and Lighthearted moods better as much as I would love to claw into exclusively dark books. And again I will try to get myself into longer and more faster paced or slow paced books but unlikely to change.

Onto moods, no second place this time as three moods impressively decided to tie. Those moods were as followed; Mysterious, Informative And Funny. Not suprised there as literally most of my reading in February was mutiple genres and types. Ignoring my audio listens it was literally half and half between fiction and nonfiction material so I'm not shocked at their being no winning mood this time round. Will definitely not be the case in March though I'm sure of it.

Finally we have Star Ratings. Thankfully no books went below 3 stars as wether it due to enjoyment or of a good quality nothing this month had mostly slaps. Three Five Stars in one month is very impressive, than again Last Year was the same when I got to experience the wonderful Loveless and Leia Princess Of Alderaan back to back. February tends to be a good month for me which is a huge trend I've noticed. A 4.58 average rating is really good and makes me excited for what March might bring.

Good stats and a fabulous template to use.

Finished February Reads/Listens

Again I can't help find myself smirking at the fact that the month with more books read and listened to is the shortest month of the year.

February was really good and I'm hoping it only gets better from here. Will was a really good memoir and whilst I don't agree with his political views 🍉, I do recommend borrowing this from the library as it has a lot of valuable life lessons and lots of Will Smiths character. Probably gonna borrow it off my brother again in the far future. Just to see how I feel about it with a reread.

I'll include them together but I'm absolutely in love with what Big Finish has to offer and have a future wishlist ready for when my wallet can afford it. Horror Of Glamrock and Immortal Beloved were very entertaining and creative stories that I've never really seen Doctor Who do before. I'm very much going to dive more into the format and might even try some of the BBC audio novels. I've also gone to really care about the 8th Doctor and Paul MacGanns portyal. Gonna try get some reviews out soon and highlight more of the ones that are avaliable for free on Spotify.

From Audio to Physical. I finally managed to pick up my first 11th Doctor adventure and it was absolutely fabulous. The Way Through The Woods is such a well built up mystery that pays off super well and doesn't go too out there. Una McCormack knows how to write Amy, Rory And The Doctor and they all get their moments to shine. It was also super fun and wild and the location was perfectly eerie. Absolutely worthy of five stars and one novel I'd highly recommend to other whovians. Up next for Doctor Who books I'll be re-reading Prisoner Of The Daleks and exploring the 9th Doctor adventure The Deviant Strain.

Different Not Less is another amazing memoir that hugely hit hard and deep. As a newly diagnosed Autistic person back in March 2023, I knew that this was absolutely one of the first books that I had to pick up. Hearing Chloés story really gave me a lot of comfort and hope I didn't know I need. She also perfectly balances out her two reader audiences of Neurotypical readers wanting to learn and Neurodivergent people wanting to understand there self. Fabulous book that I will be rereading without a doubt in the future. Completely recommend this wether Neurotypical or Neurodivergent.

Fazbear Frights: Step Closer, was absolutely the best out of the four books I read. It still had a lot of faults don't get me wrong but it was so much better than the other three. If the Epilogues didn't exist this is the one I'd recommend out of all of them. Coming Home was the best out of the three stories in the book, it made me super emotional and I almost cried. It had a twist I was not expecting and incoperated some of the og lore in such a brilliant way. I'm honestly happy to end there as I am not willing to force myself through all Twelve of these when not all the stories are good. Eventually I plan to read the first few Tales books and we'll have to see what they are like in comparisant.

Conclusion

Overall a very fun reading month jam-packed with absolutely fabulous content that I'd recommend. I'm excited to see how March will compare and what it will bring.

If you want to check out my full reviews of all of these books mentioned you can find me on Storygraph and Good Reads.

Storygraph: melsage1823

Good Reads: Melody Soundy

That's it for now, I'll pop back in April for an update about March.

-Melody-

They/Them

[carica-ficus]

“Fourth Wing”

26/12/2023

Reading progress: 346/498 (69%) Read through since last update: 122

Another sick day, another rampant reading day. I've been noticing A LOT of inconsistencies and bad plot hole mendings in this section. Thankfully, this book is more than easy to read, so I should be done with it soon enough, but man... There's too much stuff that just doesn't make sense. Another thing I noticed and that I can't overlook is that this book is purely written as a "and then" narrative. There's a really good video from the South Park creators that break this concept down, so I'm not going to go into that right now, but yeah, I'm painfully aware why this plot doesn't work for this book (among many other things...) This time, I'm mostly ranting. I'm really losing my mind over this book, so I need to get some stuff off of my chest.

Thoughts today:

So, Violet talks about how she would, and I quote, "climb the man like a tree", but literally on the next page says she's not mad enough to do it.

And then the cringe part when she calls herself a masochist as a joke and he's intrigued. I'm guessing they'll have the most vanilla sex I have ever read.

I've just realized that it's kinda weird that Tairn and Sgaeyl are the only mated pair know in the book so far? I think it's kinda weird because this novel is filled with so much unnecessary information and now it seems to lack something that would maybe be useful. Or at least interesting.

I get that Dain is very strict with the rules, but his recent outbursts seem so out of character. Why wouldn't he believe Mavis tried to kill Violet? He thinks everyone is out to get her anyway.

We have so many unnecessary characters in this book, but then the other 2 wingleaders get introduced at page 245. (Future me: And then are never mentioned again. Just like 90% of all the characters in this book.)

I got to the orange part and if I haven't watched a review for this book a few hours ago where the reader mentioned the absurdity of this specific scene, I wouldn't even know what it's about. This might be the absolute worst fucking part in the book just because it's so random and has literally 0 context. (Future me: I understand what the orange was used for later, but the way this information was introduced is so forced. And lazy. Like damn.)

Hate hate hate that Xaden calls Violet Violence. She literally cannot kill anyone. She never picks a fight. It's used only because it seems quirky.

Okay, I knew the dragon fucking scene was coming on. I get it. I don't judge. In fact, I don't mind. I actually like when authors take the liberty of exploring sexuality in their work. Sure. But how does it make sense to build this whole shit up, to make Violet be overcome by lust, only for Xaden to teach her how to ignore it??? And after she is successful at it, THEN they kiss??? Why?? Why why why???

And then they don't even fuck. Bruh, what the fuck.

(I know it's because Xaden felt like he would take advantage of her, but what the fuck? What the fuuuuuck????)

"The only weapons we're allowed to have are the ones we earn." I've grown numb to all the stupid rules established as a ways to compensate for Yarros's poor writing skills, but this is by far the worst one I've heard. Y'all are in the military, for fucks sake! Shouldn't they provide you with weapons???

The whole squad as Violet and Xaden trash around on the matt:

I was just thinking how it's incredibly weird that Violet's mom hasn't inquired about her at all, only for her to finally appear again after 200 pages! Yay! I wonder what she'll say about her daughter that she forced into the position of a rider?! Still not happy? Shame. I'm so surprised.

What's the whole point of the games? I mean, they were fun, sure, but felt a little underwhelming, mostly because the last assignment was dull, in my opinion, and the rest of them were barely mentioned, let alone featured.

Yup, it makes perfect sense that Xaden doesn't reveal he can talk to Violet telepathically. And it makes perfect sense that the first time he does it is during an important briefing. Just to tease her. That rascal, him! He's so silly!

Speaking of which, that next kiss of theirs as they're leaving is so... unemotional. It comes out of nowhere. From Xaden who has suddenly, in 3 days, had a change of heart he hasn't experienced in the last 3-4 months they have been training together. Like, what?

Can you guess I'm getting a little frustrated? I am really searching for a way to connect to this book, but it's becoming so hard. There's a few good pages, then a dozen bad ones. Well... See y'all tomorrow.

[englishflagcumrag]

all of them. all. of. them.

i literally knew you were gonna do this

How many books did you read this year?

41 (so far)

Did you reread anything? What?

no. not really a rereading things guy (though i would like to reread tlt) and besides that i have a lot of books i haven't read to get through.

What were your top five books of the year?

babel by rf kuang, though that's a cusp case since technically i started it last december

the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson

show us who you are by elle mcnicoll

yellowface by rf kuang

the little prince by antoine de saint-exupery

Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

elle mcnicoll and rf kuang are the two i've gone into and properly read their other stuff (though not as much rf kuang as i would've liked). i've only read one book each from stephen graham jones and shirley jackson but i'd really like to read their other stuff at some point.

What genre did you read the most of?

if children's is a genre (i don't think it is) then probably that, because by volume theyre easier to get through and i work in a children's bookshop so i kinda have to. other than that probably fantasy.

Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

loads but there's no time limit on these things

What was your average Goodreads rating? Does it seem accurate?

they arent out yet but i do think i can be a bit generous with number ratings. number ratings annoy me anyway and on goodreads you can't do half-marks like on letterboxd so i have to err on the side of being niceys.

Did you meet any of your reading goals? Which ones?

my aim was to read 40 books and i did that - initially i think it was like half that but i realised i work in a childrens bookshop and i should allow for the possibility that i would spend a lot of the less busy days there sampling the stock. i'm also specifically not counting picture books unless they're really special (the skull john klassen you will always be famous) because then i'd get to 100 very easily.

Did you get into any new genres?

i made a conscious effort to read more non fiction, though it didn't really pan out

What was your favorite new release of the year?

probably yellowface by rf kuang

What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read?

the haunting of hill house bby!!!

Any books that disappointed you?

we had magical boy by the kao out in the bookshop, i think as a pride month thing? the concept of a trans guy being forced to become a (extremely gendered) magical girl because of family bloodline stuff could have been interesting, but it just wasn't and it was trying so so hard to be a manga. i also was expecting a lot out of fun home by alison bechdel but thought it was just fine.

What were your least favorite books of the year?

again, magical boy. i also read the short story i have no mouth and i must scream and even though the listing on goodreads was for the entire collection which i did not read i had to go over there anyway to give it two stars because i was so mad

What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

crush by richard siken. might try and get something that may shock and discredit you by daniel m lavery done just because i'm slightly appalled that i started that perfectly nice 200-something-page book in april and still haven't finished it (see: attempts to read non fiction not panning out) but i'm not optimistic. same case with ten birds that changed the world by stephen moss.

Did you read any books that were nominated for or won awards this year (Booker, Women’s Prize, National Book Award, Pulitzer, Hugo, etc.)? What did you think of them?

i don't care about awards. i might well have but it wasn't on purpose.

What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

again, i don't pay attention to that stuff

Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

the haunting of hill house! i have a very juvenile phobia of older books and the haunting of hill house called me a pussy to my face.

How many books did you buy?

more than i should have

Did you use your library?

not really - the libraries in birmingham are mid and i don't like having a time limit

What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

yellowface by rf kuang again. it was very good but i was expecting something as good as babel and it wasn't that.

Did you participate in or watch any booklr, booktube, or book twitter drama?

not really idc about that stuff. certainly nothing i sought out on purpose

What’s the longest book you read?

think it might have been babel?

What’s the fastest time it took you to read a book?

i read a LOT of picture books but i don't count these for that exact reason so probably a few of the young readers books in the shop which i can usually get through in like half a shift.

Did you DNF anything? Why?

can't remember exactly but there were a good few i just put down and never really picked up again. not because they were bad i just have adhd.

What reading goals do you have for next year?

probably aim for 50 or so books. and more nonfiction.

[bipolaretherealthoughts]

Carnival Rides

I just broke someones heart, and the karma that I will get for that, well someone will tell me I have a red flag 

yet I am not the same as that person that I told this to

There will be the fire to create the ashes I am to  arise out of, like a phoenix 

I left on a plane the last day of October. You said here's the link to buy a ticket to my carnival.

We can go once your back.

Looking at the videos and picture on this link, I saw my favorite rides and games.

The  ones that my adrenaline that would pump through my veins like a junky getting their next high.

And when I got done with this album, I text:

I don’t want to buy a ticket. I don’t want to wait for the lines to codependency, suffocation, control, and my favorite ride.

The one who is always broken.

I skipped the high of a broken seatbelt, for the one who clamps together

I skipped the thrill of knowing I would bend over backwards to fulfill the spot that he once left

I said good bye to the stuffed animals that I would become.

I knew I could become a fish in a bowl, swimming aimlessly around waiting for the next bit of food.

Because I did that with you, 

I swam around the currents of my mind waiting to describe what it is like to feel sorrow.

And you couldn’t comprehend there are thousands more ways to describe what is it like to stare at a blank wall.

I know I said I was interested first, I know that.

You said you knew it would take someone great to want me to stop wandering the dark streets.

You said I should wonder the streets when they are light.

I said I don’t want to wander them light

I want to know what it is like let my imagination wonder about the bushes and what lies within.

I want to guess up until the moment I am faced with the snout of an animal that snarled at me. We are both part of the vast unknown.

I don’t want to be surround with the lights of a park where the end comes after the second turn.

I don’t want to sit in the places where people scream the same scream at the same god damn spot 

I want to scream at the edge of my own ledge.

 I want to scream at the mountains that I miss someone I’ve never met.

I want to cry under the pale moon light on the nights were the world is too heavy to carry on and the suicidal thoughts linger my mind

I want to feel the breeze of taking off my clothes to skinny dip as the cold air causes my hairs to stand on edge. 

I want to feel the jolt of the metal when master pulls me to the right because I refuse to listen.

I don’t to live off of funnel cakes and fried donuts,

I want to live off of delicacies of life only the deepest adventures have to offer.

If I could tell you that I realized I didn’t not want watch the satin fall off your skin when I walked into  that shop, I would have.

Yet, when I am not to speak, my words are throw up.

You wanted to skip the feeling of butterflies on the warm spring day.

You wanted to skip what is it like to feel the warm sun shinning in your window one a  cold snow day.

I wanted to fall into the unknown with someone.

i knew you’d ask, how many tickets do you want?

And I would say none; your rides don’t interest me.

You said, I spent 200 dollars building this for you, and you don’t want it.

I said no. I don’t want to go I don’t want to ride. I don’t want to jump. I don’t want to waste another moment on being urged to jump. I want to fall naturally.

He said, "Well next time someone doesn’t want listen, speak, or read the pages of the book you are going to write, think about this moment.

You are too much, you will never find someone to care about the next page or the last. No one will ever care for the title of misfortune that you have poured into a book.

We both had three dots, you stopped and i pushed the up arrow sending this,  

Can I donate to your growth of this carnival?  Maybe help buy some things to make this place better? 

He pushed the up arrow back,  No, I don’t want your money. No I don’t want to ever see the waste of space I once actually loved.

He asked me again, "let’s buy tickets to the best time of your life".

And I screamed as my voice cracked, 

I DONT WANT YOUR FUCKING TICKET

[bluethedream]

I just finished a book in two days and a half after the longest period in my life I've went without reading a book and I quite literally feel like screaming and crying and throwing up.