#the land was never Englands to give away in the first place

[news4dzhozhar]

[girlgenius1111]

i'd give you my sunshine, give you my best

alexia and r post alexia's surgery :)

no warnings!

-----

If your flight from England hadn't been delayed, you wouldn't have missed it. Alexia wouldn't have had to go back for a surgery she was terrified for without you next to her. The universe didn't seem to be on either of your guys' side recently. You wouldn't have gone home for Christmas, content to stay in town with Alexia and be with her before the surgery, but she had insisted. Your girlfriend was never more stubborn when it came to your wellbeing, and she seemed to think you needed to go home for the holidays, so you did.

Alexia's mom had called when you landed, telling you that only that the surgery had gone well, and that Alexia was home resting now. So, instead of heading right to the hospital like you planned, you changed course for your girlfriend's apartment.

It was quiet when you walked in, not that you expected anything different.

"Hola, y/n," Eli said, pulling you into a hug. You were going to ask for more details about the surgery, but Eli was already heading towards the door.

"She's very grouchy, she's been asking for you. Good luck in there," she informed you, before heading out of the apartment.

If Alexia had scared her mom off, you weren't exceptionally excited to see what awaited you in the bedroom. Alexia had been in a seemingly permanent bad mood for weeks, since she'd injured her knee in the first place. It was hell for her, you knew, not being able to play, so while you weren't thrilled with her behavior, you understood it. You headed to the bedroom door, preparing yourself for Grumpy Alexia, before gently opening it and stepping in.

You found Alexia as you expected, reclined on the bed, knee propped up on a throw pillow, staring out the window. Her expression was the same as it had been for weeks; jaw tight, brows furrowed, eyes devoid of their usual spark. What you didn't expect, however, was for her to turn to you the minute you walked into the room, eyes immediately pooling with tears, lip jutting out slightly at the sight of you.

"Ale," you said, walking closer to the bed where she lay. You wrapped your arms around her upper body, feeling her tremble against you. She held tight, hiding her face in your shirt, and you let her. Her hair was in a bun behind her head, and you pulled the hair tie out carefully, beginning to run your fingers through the smooth blonde strands. You hadn't seen her cry in weeks; she'd been the picture of strength since her injury, not allowing anyone, even you, to see how she was really feeling about the whole thing.

The state she was in worried you. Eli had said the surgery went well, but Alexia was acting like it hadn't.

"What did the doctor say?" you asked quietly, guiding her face away from your shirt. You probably could have waited a little longer for her to calm down before asking, but you weren't sure you could handle not knowing for another minute.

"It is fine. He cleaned the area, and there is nothing wrong. I should be back in a month and a half." Alexia said, although her expression didn't really match the news- this was best case scenario.

"That's incredible," you told her, cupping her flushed cheek with your hand. She nodded, but tears still fell. "Why are you crying, love?"

"I missed you," she replied, avoiding your eyes. She was normally not that vulnerable with you, and you were beginning to think whatever the doctor had put her on was making her more emotional than usual.

"I missed you too, so much," you assure her. "This is good, Ale, you're gonna be back. Soon." She pulls back from you, wiping at her face harshly.

"Yes," she said, nodding. "I was just really scared, and now I am relieved, and I am not really sure why I am crying. I just missed you." Alexia looked genuinely confused at her emotional state, and you bit back a laugh.

"That's okay, baby. But I'm here now, yeah? And everything is okay."

"Si, todo esta bien," she replies, almost as if trying to convince herself.

"Do you need anything? Food, water, ice?"

"No. Come lay with me?" She requests, reaching out to tug you closer to the bed by your shirt.

"Of course. Let me change first, I'm all airport-y." Alexia pouts slightly at that, but releases you. You love clingy Alexia; she almost never let herself be like this, only when she was sick, or hurt.

You change, heading back over to the bed, sliding in next to your girlfriend. You're extra careful, not wanting to jostle her knee at all, leaving some distance in between the two of you. Alexia bypasses that completely, shifting over until she's laying half on top of you, head turned to rest her cheek against your chest. You allow her to get comfortable on top of you before you wrap your arms around her. Her hands come to rest over yours, and she sighs contentedly.

You flick the TV on, not really caring what was on, much preferring to watch Alexia drift off. Just when you think she has, though, you hear her soft voice.

"I thought I might be done." You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Alexia was a dramatic person, clearly. No one had ever even considered the idea that she wouldn't be back, except her. Her fears were real, though, and she didn't need to hear that they were irrational.

"I knew you wouldn't be," you tell her.

"How?"

You think for a minute, deciding whether or not Alexia would make fun of you for being gushy. You were pretty sure she would, but she'd appreciate your words regardless.

"I just did. The way I know I love you, the way I know you're the person for me. You just know sometimes. I knew you'd come back, because you're strong, and you don't give up. You fight hard for the things you want. I had every confidence you'd be back on the field with me before long."

Alexia was quiet. You looked down, seeing her biting her lip, thinking hard. You move a hand to run gently over her lip, encouraging her to release it from her teeth, which she does.

"I used to have that confidence in myself. I do not think I do anymore."

You knew this. You'd watched her confidence diminish recently, in the wake of her re-injury. She was more scared than you'd ever seen her.

"I'll have it for you, until you feel it for yourself again. Deal?" Alexia smiles for the first time, looking up at you through her long lashes.

"Deal."

-----

Alexia wasn't out of commission for very long; it was a simple surgery, and she was back on her feet within the week. This had proved to be too long for her, though, because she was practically bouncing off the wall by the time she was given the all clear by the doctor.

She had big plans to cook you dinner, and take care of you for the evening. Between practices and taking care of her, you'd hardly had time to think in the past week, something she was looking to remedy. She'd been sure to thank you, for everything you'd been doing, pairing her words with sweet kisses, letting you know that she really did appreciate all that you'd done for her. It seemed obvious to you that you'd take care of her, and you didn't expect anything in return. You knew Alexia would do the same for you.

Alexia's first day really back to normal was a day you had a double practice. You were exhausted, having been kept up half the night by Alexia's restless tossing and turning, something you didn't dare bring up to her, knowing the guilt would be horrible for her. You returned home, looking forward to collapsing into the couch and not moving until bed, to something you weren't expecting.

Upon walking through the door, the smell of something burning filled your nose. You could hear Alexia cursing to herself, followed by the shattering of some glass, and then some more cursing. You flung your shows off, running into the kitchen.

"Ale?"

She was stood in the middle of the kitchen, a jar of pasta sauce broken on the ground in front of her, a decent amount of smoke coming of the stove. She looks up at you as you walk in, almost helplessly, face flushed with anger.

"Ale, baby," you coo, moving forward to her. She throws an arm out, motioning for you to stop.

"No, amor, there is glass, let me clean it up," she says, clearly upset. She moves slowly over to the paper towels, but you walk around the glass, setting a hand on her arm.

"Go sit down, Ale, I'll clean it up," you tell her, because it looked like she had been on her feet too much, if the way she was resting almost all of her weight on her good leg was any indication.

"No," she tried, but you stopped her.

"I'm not asking, Alexia, go put your knee up," you say, turning your back to her turning the stove off, and removing the smoking pan from it. You heard Alexia leave the room, slowly, and you got to work cleaning everything up. Once the glass and sauce had been taken care of, and you'd opened the windows to air out the room, you followed Alexia out to the living room, looking at your phone.

"What do you want to eat? We can order something," you suggest, thinking Alexia would prefer to not discuss the disaster than had just occurred in the kitchen. Alexia was a good cook, so something must have gone really wrong. Alexia didn't respond, though, and you looked up finally, finding her sitting on the couch, staring at her lap. Her blonde hair fell into her face, blocking you from seeing it.

"Ale?" you ask again, moving forward to take a seat next to her propped up leg. She still doesn't look up at you.

"I am so sorry," she says miserably, voice cracking, and telling you that she was crying.

"Don't worry about it, I've committed worse crimes in the kitchen," you tell her, thinking she was just embarrassed. The blonde woman shook her head though, finally looking up at you. Her lip quivered, and she looked so upset, you couldn't help but reach out and take one of her hands in yours. She flinched, and you looked down, seeing a burn on her palm.

"Shit, Alexia, hold on," you said, moving to go get a cool cloth to put on it. She grabs your shirt though, looking up at you almost pleadingly, and you sit back down. You'd never seen Alexia look at you like that before, like she couldn't bare to be away from you, even for a second.

"What's going on, my love?" you ask.

"I messed dinner up," she says shakily. That may be the understatement of the year, but it doesn't seem like she's in the mood to joke about it yet.

"It's fine, baby, we can just order something, or I'll cook," you tell her. You're still not really sure what the big deal is, and your eyes widen when she responds loudly.

"NO! No. I do not want you to cook," she says. "I wanted to cook for you."

"I appreciate that baby, but really, it's okay,"

"No, it is not okay. You've been so perfect all week, all month, and I try to do one thing for you, and I fuck it up," she sounds so upset at herself, you find yourself frowning at her tone.

"Ale, don't be ridiculous. I've barely done anything." This is definitely not true, but really, it felt like nothing. You'd go to the ends of the earth for the girl next to you, so a few extra chores, taking care of her, seemed easy.

"No, eso no es verdad," she cries, before she inexplicably dissolves into sobs.

"Alexia," you sigh, moving to sit next to her and wrap an arm around her shoulders.

"I am so much work, and I made a mess, and you had to clean it up," she rants, voice muffled from where her face is buried in your shirt.

"Stop that. You aren't a lot of work. I don't mind doing any of the things i've been doing. I'm happy to do them, because it's you. I don't care about cleaning up your mess, I only care that you heal properly," you insist." Alexia doesn't respond, only pushing her face further into your chest.

"Alexia, were you cooking dinner because you felt bad that you've needed me this past week?" you ask tentatively. You get a nod in response. Guiding out from your shirt, you hold her face in between your hands, forcing her to make eye contact with you.

"Love, you don't need to feel bad for needing my help. Ever. I love you, and I'm going to take care of you when you need me, always. You aren't a burden. You don't need to make it up to me. You just need to be you, and I'll be happy."

She looks so unsure, so not like herself. She was ordinarily the picture of intimidation, of confidence. Now, though, she looks up at you with tear filled eyes, listening to your every word like she's not sure she can trust you to tell her the truth.

"Estas segura?" she eventually asks quietly.

"I'm sure, Ale." She gives you a weak smile in response, resting her head back against your chest. You wrap your arms around her, squeezing tight until she laughs lightly against you.

"Sushi?" you ask, and Alexia nods enthusiastically. "Okay, but first, you're letting me treat that burn. How did you even do that?"

"I grabbed something from the oven without oven mitts," she mumbles, and you fight back a laugh. You aren't successful, and her head snaps up to glare at you. "I move slow since the surgery. Everything started burning, and I had no time," she rambles, and you cut her off with a long kiss to her lips.

"I'd eat whatever you burned in that pan if it meant you wouldn't feel like you need to compensate me for taking care of you." Alexia blushes. There is silence for a minute.

"You could not tell what it was?" she asks timidly.

"...Chicken?"

"Garlic and onions," she replies dejectedly.

This time you don't try to fight off your laugh, but Alexia laughs with you, and the sound of it relaxes your whole body, doing more for you than a candlelit dinner ever could.

-----

[woso-dreamzzz]

Holiday Spirit

Barcelona Femení x Teen!Reader

Summary: You don't have travel plans for the holidays

Running away to play football in a foreign country wasn't one of your smartest moves but it was certainly one of your best.

You just wished that it didn't mean fielding questions of what you were doing for Christmas.

"When do you need to get back?" Lucy asked you one morning as you changed. She was leaning against your locker, typing away at her phone.

"Where? Home? I've got homework to do later. I think Mapi told Alexia that she would come over to supervise me. I can't go out with you."

"No, I mean for Christmas. When do you need to be back in England? Me and Keira are looking at flights. We're happy to take you back with us. Give you over to your parents when we land."

You laughed awkwardly. "Thanks but I don't need to fly back with you guys."

Lucy gave you a weird look before she nodding. "Your parents are flying out to spend Christmas here. That's nice."

You didn't have the heart to tell her that you hadn't spoken to your parents since they gave you permission to go to Barcelona and then promptly kicked you out. So, you just didn't answer her.

You were sure that it had been swept under the rug after that but Lucy must have brought it up in conversation because, as you pushed your lunch around your plate, Paredes slumped into the seat next to you.

You gave her an odd look. Irene didn't tend to sit on this side of the room. She usually kept to the older girls while you usually ended up squished between Ona and Salma - though both of them had been kept behind for media.

"Er...hi?"

She narrowed her eyes at you, like she was trying to work something out.

"Hello? If this is a test to get me to work on my Spanish, it's not going to work. I can sit in complete silence."

"When are your parents flying out?" She asked.

Your stomach plummeted and you placed down your fork. "Who told you my parents were flying out?"

"Lucy said that you didn't need to fly out with her and Keira."

"I didn't tell her that my parents were flying out," You insisted," Just that I didn't need to fly with her and Keira."

Technically, you weren't lying. That was what you told Lucy. You were already at rock bottom. You just had to get the pickaxe out and keep digging.

"Hmm," Paredes said, staring at you for a long while," You're an unaccompanied minor. Someone would have to drop you off at the airport. If you want one of us to take you there that's fine but Lucy and Keira would be the safer bet."

You just laughed awkwardly, not entirely sure how to bring up that you definitely weren't going home and your parents definitely weren't coming to you either.

"Ha, I guess so."

Paredes looked at you for a moment longer. "I want your travel plans by the end of the week. If you don't want to travel with Lucy and Keira, that's fine, but we need to know who's getting you to the airport."

Safe to say, you never did get back to Paredes about your non-existent travel plans. You hunkered down in the little apartment the club paid for and wrapped a blanket tightly around your shoulders.

Usually, the building was full of your international teammates but with Christmas in a week, everyone had already gone home - except for you.

You were content though, with all your lights off, dressed in fuzzy pyjamas as you cradled a cup of hot chocolate. A movie had been put on for background noise but you were busy skimming through tiktok on your phone so you weren't really watching it.

A knock sounded at you door.

You ignored it. You never opened the door when someone randomly knocked. Everybody knew to text you first.

Case and point: The banging got louder and louder and, honestly, you just hoped that the drunkard outside your door would realise they had the wrong apartment soon.

Your phone screen lit up with an incoming call.

You frowned.

"Hello?"

A sharp suck of breath came from Patri. "You're alive." She raised her voice. "She's alive! Where are you?"

"At home? Why?"

"Which home?" She asked urgently.

"What do you mean which home? To my knowledge, I only have one."

"Spain or England?"

"Spain. Patri, seriously, you're freaking me out here."

"Open your door."

"What?"

"Open your door right now!"

You didn't really want to, not with the drunk guy outside of it but something in Patri's voice made you obey her.

You swung open the door.

A body slammed into you, an arm around your shoulders and a hand cradling the back of your head.

"You're okay," Alexia said, sounding slightly choked up," You're okay."

You peered over her shoulder, seeing a group of your teammates behind her.

Patri.

Pina.

Paredes.

You could just about see Aitana and Marta making their way down the corridor too.

"Why...wouldn't I be okay?" You asked.

Alexia didn't release you, holding you close so it was Paredes that answered.

"Because we asked Keira if you had gotten back to your parents safely but she said that you never flew with her. So, we asked Mapi and Ingrid if they dropped you off but they said you hadn't even mentioned needing to go to the airport."

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared, peering into your dark apartment.

"And I don't see your parents anywhere."

You glared back at her. "I never said anything about meeting my parents."

Patri and Pina winced and you knew that it was the wrong thing to say when you felt Alexia tense. She pulled back and looked at you.

"What do you mean you never talked about meeting your parents?" She asked sharply.

"Why would I meet with my parents?"

"It's Christmas!"

"Technically, it's a week before Christmas."

"Don't sass me!"

You shrunk a little under the weight of Alexia's glare and you wondered briefly if you could shove everyone out of your apartment and swing the door shut in your face.

But, given the way that Alexia was holding you, and the way that Marta and Paredes were guarding your door, you gathered that that wasn't a good idea.

Aitana, Patri and Pina (the little rats) had all made themselves comfortable in your house, flicking on the lights and helping themselves to your slightly lukewarm mug of hot chocolate - leaving you completely at the mercy of the older players.

The combined weight of Marta, Paredes and Alexia's stares had you awkwardly chuckling.

"Sooo...It's kind of late. I should probably head to bed, huh? We should talk tomorrow. Good? Good."

"And let you sneak out of that conversation too?" Paredes said," Not a chance. Where are your parents?"

"England, I assume. Unless they've fallen off the face of the earth which, admittedly, would be pretty cool."

"And why are you here and they aren't?"

You shrugged. "Because?"

"That's not an excuse," Marta said warningly when it look like steam was about to come out of Paredes and Alexia's ears," The truth, now."

"Why I'm here and my parents aren't? I don't know if you've noticed but that's always the case."

Patri, Pina and Aitana snickered on the sofa, flicking through your Netflix account for something to watch.

"No more sass," Alexia said firmly," I mean it or you're going to be in some serious trouble." She sounded pretty serious too so you just sighed.

"I...I'm not going back to England for Christmas."

"Obviously," You heard Patri mutter but you ignored her.

"And your parents?" Alexia probed.

"They're staying in England for Christmas."

Silence reigned through your little apartment although you knew that everyone had already suspected what you had said. It was just different when it was finally said out loud.

"Why isn't your Mama coming to see you?" Paredes asked, a mother herself so you gathered something like this hit close to home.

You shrugged. "We don't talk. I don't talk to either of my parents. It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Not a big deal!"

Alexia looked like she was about to burst into tears on your behalf which was something that you didn't quite understand but just kind of rolled with.

Aitana gently guided you over to the sofa like she thought you were about to break at a moment's notice, squishing you between her and Pina while Alexia, Paredes and Marta took refuge a bit further away on your armchairs.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Marta asked when it looked like Alexia had finally gotten a hold of herself.

"What's there to tell?" You said dismissively, swatting at Pina until she surrendered your hot chocolate back to you. It was practically cold now but you had made it using milk instead of water and you would be damned if you let it go to waste.

"Maybe about why you're avoiding seeing your parents?"

To your credit, your voice was more steady than you felt. "We don't talk anymore. They said it was either football or them." You gestured to your apartment, to the teammates scattered around your living room. "I chose football."

"And your parents were okay with that?" Marta asked.

"Well, clearly not, seeing as we're all sitting here, having this conversation." You scoffed in amusement. "In fact, I think my dad even said that if I ever showed my face again while playing football that he would swing at me."

It sounded harsh in the ears of your teammates but to you it wasn't. Your father always threatened bodily harm even against the most mundane of things like a driver cutting him off in traffic.

Alexia, in particular, looked stricken at your confession. You kind of understood. You knew that her father had been her biggest supporter and that each and every time she stepped on the pitch she wanted to do well in his memory.

You...not so much.

Anytime you stepped onto the pitch, it was a like a big middle finger to your parents (although you knew that they wouldn't even be bothered to watch any of your matches).

"That's not funny," Paredes said firmly," You father shouldn't have said that to you."

You just shrugged again, rolling your eyes. "Is this meeting of the Spanish Inquisition over? I've got a show to watch."

There was silence for a moment before Aitana spoke, sounding completely heartbroken.

"You're spending Christmas alone?"

"Yeah? Sorry, did I not make that clear?"

"Don't be silly," Alexia said though, talking over you completely as she typed on her phone," Of course she's not spending Christmas alone."

You glanced over at Patri and Pina, just in case they were privy to something that you weren't but they both just look as confused as you.

"Er...No, I am. I just said that."

"And I just said that you're not."

You cocked your head to the side. "I-I don't think that's how it works. You can't just speak stuff in existence."

"I'm not. You're spending Christmas with me."

"I don't remember agreeing to that."

"You didn't need to." She held up her phone. "Mami already agreed. She's asking if you're allergic to anything?"

"Um, no...Wait, hey! You can't just kidnap me! I'm fine being on my own."

"You're sixteen," Marta said," Go back with Alexia. You can have a proper Spanish Christmas. Her mum makes good food."

"I don't need a proper Spanish Christmas and I don't need good food. Everything I need, is right here."

"Oh, yeah?" Patri teased," Powder hot chocolate and microwaveable meals. You're eating like a queen, really taking care of yourself."

You stuck your tongue out at her before looking back at Alexia. "Honestly, I'm fine here. Your mum doesn't need to make me food or anything."

"Funny," Alexia said though her tone made it seem anything but," I don't remember this being a discussion. Besides, I already told Mami. She'll be very upset with me if I don't bring you along."

You huffed, knowing that there was no way you were getting out of this now. "You didn't have to do that. I was perfectly fine by myself."

"You're sixteen," Alexia replied," You shouldn't have be 'perfectly fine' by yourself. Aitana, help her pack her bags. Patri, Pina...I know you were planning to do it anyway but raid the fridge. Make sure nothing will go off while she's away."

"Wait, we're going now?!"

"Si, now. You said it earlier. It is late. You should go to bed. The sooner you're packed, the sooner we can go."

"Can't you just get me tomorrow?"

"No." She waved a dismissive hand as Aitana dragged you away. "Off you go. And remember to pack a scarf!"

[lionesses-lover]

New Girl - A. Russo

The one where you are hopelessly in love with the new girl on the team but she doesn’t seem to notice you.

word count: 5.5k

Notes: First fic ever! Hope you enjoy :)

The obsession wasn’t something you had planned. It crept up on you so suddenly that you never had a chance to process it. The minute you realised it was there you were already overcome with the powerful emotion and it was too late. You were hooked on the sweet, slightly clumsy blonde. 

Eight Years Ago

The first and only time you met was at an international camp. Norway U17s were playing England U17s at St George’s Park and at the big age of 16 it was your first time away from home and the pressure of representing your country was weighing heavily on your shoulders. The evening before the match you had felt sick to your stomach with nerves and nothing - not even the kind words of your best friend Ingrid - was able to calm you down

On the morning of the match you were still trembling with fear but tried to pull yourself together and eat some breakfast to help stop your stomach from screaming at you, telling you to go home. You eventually managed to get ready and go out to the pitch for your warm up. Then, you saw her. Chasing around a smaller brunette girl shouting something about shin pads.

“Tooney! I need those shin pads please give them back or I’ll tell the coach!” She shouted

“No way Alessia,” her friend, Tooney, replied, “this is payback for hitting me in your sleep on the bus.”

Alessia. That was her name. It was perfect.

You were stuck in place when you saw her. The light from the sun hit her perfectly, making her blonde hair shimmer and her blue eyes glisten. She looked like an angel, and just as she was turning around to carry on chasing her friend, her eyes locked onto yours. Only for a split second, but to you it felt like hours. However, before you could go and talk to her you were dragged away by Ingrid and then the match started. It was a tough match as the teams were quite evenly balanced, but unfortunately for you it ended 3-2 to England, with the girl who was already beginning to consume your thoughts scoring the winning goal in the 87th minute. All you wanted to do was go and introduce yourself, but sadly you had a flight to catch back to Norway. But that didn’t stop you from rapidly searching Instagram and eventually finding her account. Alessia Russo. Her full name sounded even more perfect. After scrolling through her posts, smiling to yourself at how gorgeous she looked, you quickly hit the follow button and turned your phone onto airplane mode before settling into you seat ready for the flight.

Unfortunately for you, that was as far as the interactions between the two of you went. A one second glance on opposite ends of a football pitch. When you switched your phone back on after your plane back home had landed you went straight onto Instagram in the hope that she had followed you back.

She hadn’t.

Present Day

“Have you heard the news?” Keira said as she bounced up to you upon entering training that day.

“No what’s happened now? Who’s injured” You asked, slightly worried as the last time Keira said there was news she revealed that Lucy had needed a minor surgery on her knee, which wasn’t the news you were hoping for.

“No one is injured don’t worry,” she replied, laughing at the panic that had spread across your face, “we are getting a new teammate tomorrow.”

“And we think you will really like her” said Ingrid, smirking whilst watching your reaction.

“Who is it?” You said.

“Alessia Russo, the blonde ex-Manchester United player, mine and Lucy’s teammate with England” answered Keira, grinning from ear to ear and bouncing around the changing room excitedly.

“Oh my god” you whispered to yourself, sitting down in shock at the thought of the girl you’ve been madly in love with for eight years finally noticing you. You turned on your phone to see the announcement posted on the FC Barcelona Femeni Instagram. Then you saw another notification.

@alessiarusso99 has started following you.

You couldn’t believe it.

“Are you finally going to make a move now?” asked Ingrid as she came and shook you out of your daze, reminding you that you needed to leave the locker room and walk to the training pitch. “You’ve been following her on Instagram for ages now, never messaged her and I know you’ve been in love with her for years. I think now is the perfect opportunity!” She said hopefully.

“I barely know her and she’s only just discovered who I am and followed me back, I’m sure she won’t be interested,” you replied sadly, “but that’s not going to stop me giving her the best welcome to Barcelona ever.”

“Ingrid, Y/N” shouted Alexia, your captain, “you can give relationship advice later, it’s time to train!”

———

After a very tiring and busy training session, filled with lots of teasing from you teammates, Mapi and Lucy in particular, who all knew about your not so secret crush, you finally made it home to your apartment. However you were not empty handed as you had decided to stop at a grocery shop on your way home to pick up some gifts to give to Alessia to try and welcome her to the team nicely tomorrow morning. You had bought some of your favourite chocolates, some fresh fruit and a small bottle of champagne so she could celebrate her new contract properly.

You went to bed early that night and made sure to set your alarm to wake up an hour earlier the next day. You were determined to make an unforgettable first impression on Alessia and that required you to get into training early so you would have the chance to speak to her and give her your gifts.

As you started to drift off to sleep, all you could think about was that gorgeous blonde who stole your heart in one moment all those years ago.

———

Your alarm woke you up bright and early the next morning and you had to take a moment in bed to remind yourself that today wasn’t a dream. She was really coming to play with you. After eight years of wishful thinking about being with her, eight years of staring at her through social media, your dreams were coming true. You were finally going to meet her.

After a quick drive you arrived at the training centre with a full hour before training began. As you roamed the empty hallways on your way to the locker room your eyes searched for a glimpse of  beautiful blonde hair, hoping you could talk to her and introduce yourself before your teammates arrived.

Unfortunately it appeared that luck wasn’t on your side today as Alessia didn’t appear until the rest of the team had arrived, Ingrid and Keira smirking to each other when they saw you patiently sitting by your locker with a small package next to you.

But when she did finally enter the room you were blown away. She was even more beautiful than her social media showed. You hadn’t seen her in person since that match eight years ago, but you were well aware that she had changed from a young girl into a grown woman, and that she had grown even more into her beauty in that time. You were not aware that her social media didn’t do her enough justice, even though she looked amazing in her Instagram posts. She was spectacular in person. Her long, tanned legs and her sleek blonde hair which was tied into her signature ponytail. Her stunning blue eyes which were shining with pride having just signed a new contract with one of the best clubs in the world. All of her was perfect. 

She walked timidly around the room, being introduced to all the players by Keira and Lucy, who had taken it upon themselves to give their national teammate the best start to the team possible. Finally, after what seemed like years, they reached you. 

“Hi Alessia it’s so nice to meet you, I’m y/n” you said, standing up to shake her hand in introduction.

“Hey,” she replied, quickly releasing your hand before staring down at the floor uncomfortably.

“I think you two have played against each other before” interrupted Keira, grinning at you.

“Um, yeah quite a while ago, I think you actually scored the winner Alessia,” you chuckled softly, hoping she would feel more comfortable.

“Oh, that’s weird I don’t remember it,” she said.

Across the room your eyes met with Ingrid as she looked at you sympathetically. She knew how much it must hurt you that Alessia doesn’t remember the moment you have been replaying in your head for almost a decade.

“No worries, like I said it was ages ago,” you smiled at her, before turning around and picking up the package you had been anxiously waiting to give her, “I actually got you a small gift, sort of a ‘Welcome to Barcelona’ thing, I hope you don’t mind.”

You had hoped she would open it then and there but sadly she just took the package, murmured a few words of thanks and moved on, following Keira as she was introduced to Alexia. 

Despite the slight rejection of your gift, you carried on getting ready for training as usual, ignoring the pitying looks of some of your teammates. You remained optimistic as you knew exactly what type of training was happening today, because you had checked the schedule in the coach’s office this morning before everyone arrived.

Today, the Barcelona women’s team would be doing training in groups based in their position on the pitch. This meant that, as you were also a forward, you would be in the same group as Alessia, who you hoped would agree to be your partner.

However, the universe seemed to have decided to make life hard for you today. By the time you plucked up the courage to ask Alessia to partner with you for one of the drills you were met with rejection once again.

“Sorry, I told Mariona I would go with her”

“Oh,” you said, trying to hide your disappointment as she refused eye contact and once again looked uncomfortable in your presence, “no worries I hope your first training goes well.”

Once again, you only received a small murmur of thanks before she turned around and walked away.

“Don’t worry,” said your national teammate Caroline as you partnered up with her instead, “I’m sure she is just nervous about being here.”

“It’s just sad,” you replied quietly, “I was so excited to finally speak to her and now I don’t think she likes me. What did I do wrong?”

“I don’t think it’s just you, she doesn’t look very happy to be with any of us,” Caroline answered, subtly pointing over to the other side of the pitch where Alessia and Mariona were working together in silence, with Alessia awkwardly looking around at the rest of the team.

“Hopefully she warms up to us soon,” you said, “I’m not sure my 16 year old self would forgive me if I let the girl of my dreams go without making a move again”

———

A month later, Alessia had made her debut for Barcelona and attended every single training session, slowly adjusting to the style of play that was always seen at the club. However there was one major issue. Alessia had not gone to any team bonding nights or accepted any offers from teammates to hang out after training. No one on the team knew what she did with her time, not even Keira or Lucy despite their many attempts to get Alessia to socialise.

Throughout the last month you had continued to try to partner up with or chat to Alessia, eager to get to know her better. However every time you were met with the same reaction. Short answers rejecting you whilst she looked uncomfortable. Each time this happened, it felt like a small piece of your heart was shattered, and you were dangerously close to having no heart all together after being rejected daily by the woman you so desperately wanted to be loved by. 

The heartache you were experiencing eventually got so unbearable that you found yourself going home with Ingrid and Mapi one night, in tears after attempting to ask Alessia if she wanted to go out to celebrate the latest Barcelona victory with the team. 

“I just don’t understand,” you cried as you sat with Ingrid sobbing into the cushions on her sofa, “why doesn’t she like us? Why doesn’t she like me? What did I do wrong”

“You didn’t do anything. I’m not sure why she doesn’t like us but it’s nothing to do with you,” replied your best friend as she felt her heart ache for you. She knew how desperately you wanted Alessia to like you, and didn’t understand why the blonde was so adamant not to accept your attempts at friendship.

“I agree with Ingrid, y/n”, said Mapi, “I’m sure it’s nothing personal, maybe she’s just shy.”

After another few hours of crying your heart out to your best friend and her girlfriend you decided to go home and attempt to get some sleep before enjoying your day off tomorrow. But once again, the universe had other plans. You were driving through the dark streets of Barcelona when you passed the apartment block where Keira and Lucy lived. It was also the apartment block where Alessia lived, in the apartment next to her English teammates in an attempt to make the transition to Barcelona easier for her.

Angry, hurt and disappointed, you suddenly felt the urge to visit the blonde. You needed an answer as to why she rejected the team, why she rejected you. You needed to know whether there was a chance that you would ever be someone she loved. 

So, you parked your car, walked into the building, took the lift to the second floor and walked up to the door of Apartment 3. Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door and waited. Thirty seconds later, the door opened and you were met with the blonde beauty you cared so deeply for. 

“y/n, what are you doing here?” she asked, slightly alarmed at your sudden presence at her door.

“I need to speak to you, can I come in?” you asked shyly, now fully aware of where you were and what you were doing.

“Um,” she hesitates, looking behind her into the apartment, before eventually sighing and opening the door, “sure, come in.”

As you step into Alessia’s apartment for the first time, you are hit with a shock. It’s empty. The only things in the main rooms are a table and chair in the kitchen and a sofa and television in the lounge. There are no photos, no trophies or medals, no personal belongings suggesting that someone actually lives there. You look to your left into the bedroom and you see a mattress on the floor. She doesn’t even have a bed. 

Alessia clears her throat, “What did you want to talk about?”

“Why is your apartment empty?” you interrupt.

“I haven’t got round to settling in properly,” she answered, looking down sadly, “I also don’t really know my way around the city. I don’t leave the apartment that much.”

“Why?”

“I’m on the phone a lot. I call my mum, dad and brothers once a day, and my best friend Ella every two days. I also call some more of my old teammates every week.”

“Do you miss them?” you asked softly.

“So much,” she replied, looking up so you could see the tears that were appearing in her eyes, “I haven’t been away from them since I went to UNC for college but this is different.”

“I understand,” you told her quietly, “when I moved from Norway to Barcelona I was terrified about being alone that I texted my mum every hour. It was stupid but I genuinely thought no one else would talk to me.”

She stayed quiet, sitting down on the sofa playing with her fingers. You could tell she was trying not to cry. Taking a deep breath, you sat down beside her.

“Is that why you haven’t been accepting anyone’s offers to hang out?” you asked, “because you miss your family so you want to speak to them?”

“Sort of,” she confessed, “ I guess it started off that way but now I’m scared none of the others will like me. Barcelona is a tough team to join - you guys are all so close that it’s a bit intimidating to try and make friends with.”

“But we have been trying to get you to hang out with us for almost a month, you’ve even turned down Keira and Lucy,” you said.

“I guess I was worried I had missed too much. I thought it would be awkward if I tried to get close to the team now after being quite antisocial for the first month,” she sighed, running a hand through her beautiful blonde hair. “I’ve also been so busy trying to get settled into my new home at the same time as trying to improve and develop my skills on the pitch.”

“But you are doing great! You have played in 3 matches so far and the team is winning all the time,” you argued.

“I haven’t scored,” she whispered, “I’m a striker and I haven’t scored. I’m letting the team down because I literally can’t do the only thing my job says I need to do.”

“That will come with time,” you reassured, slowly reaching a hand out and placing it on her back, rubbing circles in an attempt to comfort the crying blonde, “when you are properly settled in you will be able to relax and just enjoy playing the game you love. The first thing you need to do is sort this place out. You can’t live with no bed and no photos and personal items around.”

“I don’t know where to go,” she admitted shyly.

“Well, we have a free day tomorrow, why don’t I go home now, you promise to get some sleep, and I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning and take you shopping. I’ll even help you organise everything so you feel more at home,” you suggested, secretly hoping she’d say yes in order to give you a chance to spend time with the blonde you had been dreaming of for eight long years.

Taking a deep breath, Alessia looked up at you.

“Alright, pick me up at 10?” she suggested shyly.

“I’ll be here.” you smiled.

———

The next day, as promised, you were outside Alessia’s front door at 9:55, five minutes early, which gave you five minutes to calm yourself down and reassure yourself that it was all going to be okay. You had been given a golden opportunity to make the girl you loved like you a little bit and you were not going to ruin it. Slowly, you reached out and knocked on the door, just like you had done the night before.

“Hi,” said Alessia as she opened the door, “I wasn’t sure whether you were being serious last night.”

“Of course I was being serious,” you chuckled, before holding out your hand and offering her the bouquet of flowers you had picked out at a local florist in your way to her apartment, “I um, I got you these, I thought they would be the first step in getting you settled into Barcelona.”

“Thank you so much y/n” she said, taking the bouquet as a grin began to spread across her face, “ I’ll put them in the sink until we buy a vase.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, it didn’t cross my mind that you wouldn’t have one,” you said, suddenly feeling very nervous.

“It’s fine don’t worry about it,” she chuckled softly, stepping out of the apartment, “that’s why you’re here, we are going to get me properly moved in so I can finally score my first Barcelona goal!”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m here for,” you said quietly. Was that all she thought this was? Did she just think you were doing this as a favour? You wished you could tell her how you felt, how you have been in love with her since you were 16 and you saw her once at a match. But sadly she didn’t even remember that match.

Taking what seemed like your millionth deep breath of the morning, you eventually said, “Come on Lessi, let’s go.”

If you had paid more attention to Alessia instead of focussing on trying to stop your hands shaking with nerves as you closed her front door behind her, you would have noticed the small blush that covered her cheeks as she heard the nickname you had used without noticing.

———

“I can’t believe you’re that clumsy!” You laughed as the pair of you returned to Alessia’s apartment, arms full with boxes of household items.

“It’s not my fault I couldn’t see the step was there!” she argued, grinning widely at you, “carrying this massive box is hard!”

You chuckled at her before replying: “Well at least you can finally sleep on a proper bed instead of a mattress on the floor.”

“Only if you help me set it all up,” she said, hoping you didn’t plan on leaving yet.

“Of course I’ll help,” you answered, your heart flipping around in your chest at the thought of spending even more time with the blonde, who finally seemed to be feeling more comfortable around you.

———

Four hours later, as the sun began to set in Barcelona, you and Alessia flopped tiredly onto her sofa, before looking around at her apartment. It looked like a home. You had bought some nice decorations for the rooms, as well as convincing her to finally unpack the many boxes containing photographs, trophies and medals from over the years, convincing her to display them to make the home seem personalised.

“It looks lovely, I feel so much better thank you y/n”she said softly, turning to face you, “I’m so glad to have you as my friend.”

Friend. 

Your heart broke a bit more upon hearing her call you that. As you looked into those beautiful blue eyes you desperately wished you could find the courage to confess all the feelings you had been keeping secret for the entire day. But sadly, you couldn’t. You didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. You didn’t want to pressure her into something when she was still settling into her new life. 

“You’re welcome,” you replied quietly, “I’m always here if you need me, um, I should probably go, it’s getting late and we have training tomorrow.”

“Oh, um, sure,” she said, getting up to walk you to the door, “See you tomorrow.”

“Bye Lessi,” you said as you stood in her doorway, before taking a deep breath and doing what you knew deep in your heart you had to do. 

You slowly leant forward and hugged her. Putting your arms around her waist and letting her arms fall round your shoulders. It wasn’t a long hug, but it was what you both needed. You needed some love given to you after being in love for so long, and Alessia needed some comfort and a sense of belonging from a kind person who had managed to force themselves into her heart within a few hours.

As you pulled apart, both of you wearing matching blushes on your faces, you couldn’t help but smile at the hope that something could finally happen between the two of you.

“Right, I really need to go now otherwise I’m going to be late going to sleep, which means I’m going to be late waking up and so might be late to training and then Alexia will kill me,” you said, suddenly getting very nervous standing in front of Alessia.

“Bye y/n, see you tomorrow”

———

Two weeks later

If you said the past two weeks had been great then you would be lying. They had been like a dream. 

Every morning you walked into training and were greeted by a grinning Alessia Russo, who had become a totally different person. Her blonde hair shimmered and her blue eyes shone brightly as she chatted to many of your teammates throughout the weeks, making up for the time that was lost as she was adapting to Barcelona life.

You had finally had the opportunity to partner up with her in a few training drills and it was wonderful. The bond between the two of you was slowly getting stronger and that was showing both on and off the pitch. The pair of you had began hanging out after training every day - watching movies, visiting coffee shops and going shopping to grow Alessia’s wardrobe after she had admitted to you that she left most of her clothes back in England.

However, the only thing that wasn’t perfect was your growing love for the English blonde. You tried to keep your feelings hidden but it was becoming increasingly difficult not to confess everything to her as you became closer. 

“I don’t understand you,” said Keira one afternoon at training, as she watched you watch Alessia run around, chasing after Aitana and Claudia.

“What do you mean?” you asked absentmindedly, trying to contain a smile as the sweet noise of Alessia’s infectious laugh reached your ears.

“You are obviously in love with her and she is obviously in love with you, why don’t you tell her how you feel?”

You turned round to face Keira, the smile on your face vanishing, “It’s not that easy, she doesn’t like me,” you said sadly, “she thinks of me as a friend. That’s it.”

“I think you’re being stupid,” sighed Keira, “at least tell her how you feel, please. I don’t like watching you obsess over her. It just makes you sad because you’ve convinced yourself you’ll never have her, which is a lie.”

“I just don’t want to get hurt,” you said, “I’d much rather be her friend than nothing in her life.”

Taking a deep breath, you turned away from Keira, trying to stop your tears appearing at the thought of Alessia rejecting you.

———

“y/n! y/n!” shouted Alessia, desperately trying to get your attention over the loud music at the club, “come and dance with me!”

You hesitated, not wanting to risk being at such a close proximity to Alessia without being able to hold her or kiss her.

As if she could sense your hesitation, she shouted once again, “Pretty please, think of it as my reward for getting my first Barcelona goal.”

You were hooked. The combination of her adorable puppy dog eyes and the memories of her gorgeous 57th minute strike (assisted by you) against Real Madrid earlier that day were more than enough to convince you to go and join her on the dance floor.

As you approached the beautiful blonde you had your first opportunity of the night to take in her outfit. She was wearing a gorgeous all-black suit paired with a black crop top. She looked flawless. You just wished you could tell her that she took your breath away.

However, it seemed that Alessia had also been having similar thoughts, as she shouted “you look so good tonight, I love your style, you look amazing,” before throwing you a lopsided grin.

“Thank you Lessi, you look beautiful,” you said, finding courage in the compliment you had just received.

You slowly placed your hands around her waist as she looped her arms around your neck - the pair of you slowly swaying to the music that was being played in the club.

“I’m so happy you helped me settle in to life here, it’s wonderful. I’m really grateful to have found a friend like you,” she said happily.

There it was again. Friend. The word that made your stomach turn and you heart crack. You wished she would see you as more than that - you would give her the world if she asked you - would a friend do that?

Once again, it was as if she could sense your hesitation as she softly asked, “what’s wrong y/n? Did I do something? You seem sad.”

You rapidly looked around, trying to think of an excuse to leave the conversation before you became dangerously close to exposing yourself. However, all you saw was Ingrid and Mapi, dancing a few metres away from you. They looked so happy and in love. Mapi looked at your best friend as if she was the only person in the room and Ingrid looked at her as if she had hung the moon and the stars. 

You wanted that. You wanted that with Alessia. It was all you had wanted since you first saw her on that football pitch all those years ago.

Suddenly, you were hit with the realisation that if you didn’t do anything about your feelings then you would never have the love you so desperately wanted. Slowly, you turned back to Alessia, smiling gently as your eyes met with her.

“No I’m not okay Lessi,” you said calmly, trying to take deep breaths and say what you needed to say, “I’ve been in love with you since I saw you on the football pitch at St George’s Park eight years ago and I know you don’t remember it but you stole my heart and you are all I’ve been thinking about ever since. I’m so sorry if you don’t feel the same way and I really don’t want to make things awkward between us but I needed to tell you before it breaks me. Because I can’t keep living my life too scared to admit that I love you.”

You quickly shut your eyes after your confession, not wanting to watch her reaction in fear of disgust and rejection taking over her face.

“y/n” she said slowly, “I need to tell you something too”

You looked up to face her, ready to hear that you were too late - she was in love with someone else.

“I remember the match. I didn’t at first, but when I was sorting out all my photos the other day I found a photo from the match. We won 3-2. I scored the winner.”

You nodded carefully.

“You’ve been so lovely to me over the past few weeks. You made an effort to try and get to know me even when I was too shy and homesick to accept your kindness. I was so excited when I joined Barcelona from Manchester United. Not only because I was going to play for the best club in the world but because I was going to finally meet the player that my friend Ona had been telling me about. The beautiful Barcelona player who her Spanish teammates played with. I found you on Instagram and I was hooked, you are gorgeous.”

“Lessi..” you began, still trying to absorb the new information about her feelings.

But before you could ask what she was trying to say, Alessia leant forward and captured your lips with hers, pulling you into her by the waist whilst giving you a bruising, passionate kiss in the middle of the dance floor. 

Previously, there had been many times where you had dreamed of kissing Alessia. But no dreams could ever compare to the real thing. Her lips locked onto yours so perfectly it felt as though she was made for you. As cliché as it sounds, everyone else in the busy club seemed to fade away. You could vaguely hear Keira and Lucy shouting in the background but you blocked them out, instead choosing to wrap your arms around the blonde, trying to savour every second of this moment.

Eventually, you both pulled away, breathing heavily and smiling giddily.

“So does this mean you feel the same?” you asked shyly, hoping to hear her confirm what you already knew.

“How could I not? I love you too y/n” she answered, pulling you into her again and pressing her lips against yours.

“Finally!” You heard Ingrid say, “she’s only been crushing on Alessia for eight years”

Finally, you thought, finally you had the girl of your dreams.

———

[dflogerzi]

Hello friends. Okay, I spent some time offline, and did speak in length to a dear friend in England today. I think I understand a few things more. Firstly... there are no rules. And this is my timeline, and I get to change it as I see fit. When I first came to Tumblr it was for one purpose, I kid you not. I knew that Meghan Markle was in her supposed first pregnancy... and I knew it was a lie. I have carried a baby, I know how it works, and she was in my opinion lying. This timeframe coincided with my recent awakening of world events and falling down other rabbit holes.

I was gung-ho on both. And I must say, the world events thing did not serve me well on social media. I have never found it beneficial to argue with others about things we do not agree with. And so a few months into my profile building here on Tumblr and connecting I set my own rules on what it is I am here for. And trust me... the people I have connected with mean so much to me. Now then... I do follow some who I only give out likes to and more private conversations. You know who you are. So for the record I am going to be clear of who I am.

I served under Ronald Reagan while in the Navy. I was always more on the conservative side, although I used to joke that as a Californian, I was sitting on the wall in between and fell over to the right. I used to think a lot of liberal policies sounded good on paper, but that in reality they did not work very well. That has been proven to be true in my estimation. But let me be clear. I do not think the Republican view as it stands today is working out either in a bulk of cases, especially in Washington D.C. Our government is seriously compromised within both parties, and I am also speaking of all branches. Neither party is what it once was, and if you are not aware of what the Global agenda is for the common person I cannot help you. And it is not my place in life to even attempt it. We all journey as we do.

I then found my feet here. My goals were to talk of things I am interested in, loved all my life, and to find some fun in my days. When I stick to that... I thrive. But I am finding that as many more are awakening to the fact that our world is slipping away... we are all talking more. And the planned divisiveness is impacting all of us.

It is going to get worse. No matter what your stand is. And I completely believe this summer is going to get rough in the US. Very rough.

So what did I decide? Well... I want to be here. If I drift off, which was surprisingly easy this week, I do not get to enjoy dishing on all things royal, art, history, travel, spiritual life, pets, and the love I have for friends I have made here.

I may veer off to world events. I am no longer affiliated with any political party. I do not believe there are many in places of power who have our best interests at heart. When the WEF says that population control is a main agenda, I believe them. I have done my studying and digging... and I understand. History is repeating itself, but there is no one who will be landing on a shore in Normandy to save our world any longer.

I am not going to try to influence a single soul here. Nope. I just want to vent a bit on how dumb and ridiculous Harry is, how narcissistic I find Meghan, how much I admire Anne, and my hopes for Catherine's full recovery. I also want to read your posts on cute furry creatures, other lands and travels, inward journeys, art, and whatever else it is in life the day brings. But I admit that I may slip, and I go off on a world event. I apologize for it now. Just scroll on by if you would.

I had a tough time since last summer. I did. But that is what life can bring. And hopefully we grow. And in the end it will be what we take with us. Many changes do come on life's paths.

Love to friends. Thanks for listening. Going to just post this mess, warts and all.

[bellewintersroe]

Joe liebgot smut where he's really needy and you kinda dominate him

Thanks for this request anon, I hope this does your idea any justice 😈

Joe Liebgott x Reader !Smut!

Once reunited back in England, Joe needs you in more ways than he initially realised. Warning: 18+ content/ Drabble below the cut, penetrative sex, oral sex, reader takes charge of Joe - I never usually write with reader being dominant so excuse me if it isn’t the best, it’s giving more soft dom vibes.

“God, baby.” Joe’s teeth gritted as she bounced on top of him, pussy dripping and clinging around the bare of his cock. Their first reunion after he’d been shipped out to Europe was overwhelming, Joe’s head tipped back, mouth open and a strangled groan escaped his mouth in pure bliss.

“You feel so good like this.” She reminded, the first time they’d felt one another without the barrier of a condom. The two of them were so carried away, Joe would be pretty happy if she got knocked up. “So big.” Her hands slid to his chest, borderline pinning him down to the couch the both of them had settled on, unable to make it up to her bed upstairs. Kneeling at either side, she ignored the burn in her thighs and continued grinding, bouncing, fucking on Joe. It was all too much for him, the sensation mixed with the sight and sound of her was too much.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Joe felt the familiar tension gather in his lower stomach, hands gripping tighter and tighter into the flesh of her ass. “No.” She halted her movements. Joe was so fucked out he couldn’t even respond, simply letting out a slight, “huh?” As she ran her fingers through his scalp, moving forwards so her body rested over his.

“Don’t cum yet, fuck not yet.” Joe felt the slight rise and fall of her hips as she carefully rode him, slow in her movements, painfully slow. Joe wanted nothing more than to snatch her hips and absolutely nail her, but he was enjoying the slight hold and control she had over him. His hands rested back, over the couch as she slid her hands up, holding his wrists in place. Now Joe knew he had the strength to push her off and nail into her, but he didn’t. He didn’t feel weak, nor did he feel emasculated. Instead, his cheeks burnt a vibrant red colour, another boyish groan escaping his lips as she slowly continued her movements.

“Do ya like this?” She giggled into his ear, tits pressed together looking painfully good as they bounced and wobbled with each movement. Joe cursed and shoved his hands forwards, grappling at her titties, the other hand coming to land on her ass. “Please baby, you gotta let me cum.” She shamelessly spoke, attempting to push her chest up to his mouth but she resisted.

“You have no patience, Joe.” Teasing, she arched her back, leaning a little further away before she began bouncing on top of him again. “Don’t cum yet. Don’t cum until I say so.” Joe didn’t know where this side had come from, but he fucking loved it.

He nodded with a strangled groan, gulping and tensing, his orgasm quickly approaching once again. “Fuck, you’re such a good boy for me.” She moaned out, breathy and angelic, hands on his chest.

“Shit- baby I’m ’bout t’ cum.” Joe could barely breathe she was that good. With two more harsh thrusts on his cock, she pulled off, using a hand to jerk strings of hot cum all over her pussy and lower abdomen.

“Aw, baby.” She cooed playfully as Joe was a mess below. His chest was rising and falling quickly, covered in a sheen of sweat, he looked beautiful. Both his hands had fallen limp to his side and instead of the normal kiss they shared, she jumped down, between his legs and the next thing he knew her mouth was around his cock for the second time that evening.

“Holy f-” Joe had to cover his mouth, his sensitive cock was throbbing, now she was literally milking him dry. “Give me one more Joe.” How could he resist? She looked so fucking good, borderline unearthly as she deviously watched him wriggle and jerk, lips suctioned around him.

Her hands moved up, holding both his hands in place, the tremble of his thighs and bitten back yells indicating the sensitivity. “C’mon, Joe.” Her mouth was replaced by her hand. “Don’t you wanna cum for me?” She was teasing him yet again, rubbing her hand over his tip as he bucked his hips groaning and panting. He’d never been this much of a mess before.

With the fast pace of her head bobbing up and down, swallowing all his previous cum, Joe felt another overwhelming orgasm wash over him. There wasn’t as much cum as before, but Joe always had a heavy load. This time, she let him finish down her throat, hands still gripping tighter over his wrists as he audibly yelled out her name, mind numb from her control.

When he was completely finished, and she was finished with her teasing, she crawled back up next to him, continuing to giggle. “That… was fucking incredible, baby.” Joe huffed and puffed, stroking the back of her head.

“I know.”

[koolaidoverliving]

Papa Grande? Headcannon, or x reader your pick

AAAWHHH HELL YEAHHH okay so papa grande is like william and frankie in that he doesn't have a place in my main au, but he is included in my slendermansion one

slenderman keeps an eye on proxies all over the world, and at some point he brings them into the mansion. papa grande is a travelling magician. he's been almost everywhere in europe, putting on shows and killing select people from the audience. under the influence of slenderman, and his own fits of hysteria, he keeps the people he kills to be apart of his "audience".

the reason he travels so much is to one, get away from his crimes. and two, because he likes the change of scenery. he spent his entire childhood being praised by an audience and having expectations loaded onto him. the fame never left his head, and he still craves that fame. maybe because it gives him a sense of comfort. to know he didn't go through that pain for nothing.

a few years before he's welcomed to the mansion, papa grande landed in england where he met nathan in an old auditorium. the two of them formed a father-son bond. papa grande soon met nathan's friends, candy pop and jason, as well as his wife: ciara.

papa grande came to the mansion with the dollmaker. papa grande was in england while the dollmaker was in russia.

here are the little headcanons now :D

bisexual (he/him) and he did have some romantic relations w his bff ricky in the past. Ask him about it and he'll probably Just Laugh. Confused how anyone even knows who Ricky is.

he keeps a locket with melanie's picture

as well as a photo album with various pictures of them and places they wanted to go together.

papa grande teaches magic tricks to nathan and jason. he saves the best magic tricks for jason because he wholeheartedly believes jason is a fellow magician.

the first time papa grande met candy pop, candy pop tried to turn papa grande into a sugar daddy.

but that didn't work. so now candy pop is just an annoying pest who keeps asking papa grande to reveal his magic secrets.

the kids love his magic tricks. especially lucy and ben. sally always gets papa grande to perform during mansion parties.

yes he's a god at bingo

he likes jazz music as well as old ass songs from the 50s which get him made fun of.

he has a tophat collection

his bedroom in the mansion is a stage room. it's like laughing jack's circus room but smaller. there's a little area backstage with a bed and other personal belongings.

sometimes he comes into the mansion carrying dead bodies in a box or bag.

papa grande aggressively curses in italian

HE DESPISES AMERICAN FASTFOOD. A SINGLE MEAL FROM MCDONALDS COULD KILL HIM.

also he hates long staircases for reasons i don't even have to state.

^_^

[aita-blorbos]

Am I the asshole for wanting to be a sugarcane farmer?

I was a born in London, a loyal subject of the king. I was a soldier for my country, was voted into parliament, had a burgeoning career. I was asked to run a township. I, of course, accepted. And then the king assigned me here.

Really, here? Seven thousand miles from England, in the middle of the jungle with the bugs? The food is barely edible, in this colony so far away it takes a month to get a message home!

But it's three thousand acres of land so fertile you could grow almost anything off it. I figured I'd skim each harvest, and soon enough be so rich I'd leave Guiana in the dust and buy a house in Chelsea.

But noooo. No, no, I'm still here. And now these engineers are building flywheels and some ridiculous brick sphere on the waterfront, the best place I can grow my contraband, sugarcane. Ah, glorius sugarcane. A letter comes from London telling me to give them what they need. Now I'm stuck with nothing. No, your Majesty, that's not what we agreed upon!

Then in comes this celebrity and everyone adores him. Even the monarchy. He speaks a lot of nonsense—some rot about the stars, while his soft hair shines in the low light and his eyes glitter like the constellations he loves so much. Personally, I don't find it worthy of my time to listen to him. Besides, it's infuriatingly distracting the way his lips purse when he maps out the stars. And—do you know the worst part? Then he has the nerve to invite an American! Woman! to run the project. Can you believe that?

Well, I of course tried to put a stop to that. At first I tried my hand at subtlety, poisoning the clay that made their bricks with lime. I'd hoped they might leave my township if their flywheels splintered, but no luck there. Yet another American woman noticed that one. There seem to be an awful lot of them, these days. And that celebrity, well. He kept looking at them. Like he's their friend. Hmph. He never looked at me like that.

But then I realised: this was an opportunity! If there was an accident, it wouldn't reach the throne for thirty days! I'd remove the evidence, using my quick wit and myriad employees, and I'd send a report home. Something tearful, painting me as a bystander who, tragically, was the only survivor of the dreadful accident that occurred. Murder wouldn't even cross their minds!

I've done my time! I've been the upstanding subject of his Majesty, and now? Now this "sphere" of theirs will crash to the ground, into the dust where it belongs. Here? I'll be the last man standing!

And the sugarcane will finally be mine. Rows and rows of it, and soon I'll be living like a king! Well, I'm not just doing this for sugarcane. I'm also doing it... because I don't like them.

So, AITA?

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

First of all congrats once again on the milesone bby!!! for the sleepover can I as a micro drabble for jack and pirate AU ?? honestly at first I was going to ask for frankie but jack just felt like a better fit fbfgb love u <333

Sil my love! I had the time of my life sailing the seas with Pirate!Jack. Inevitably, this Captain Jack is partly inspired by the OG Captain Jack Sparrow and POTC. I loved POTC fanfic back in the day, so thank you so much for sending this prompt!

Jack Daniels x pirate AU

Fuck Yeah 2222 Sleepover micro drabble request | 889 words | warnings: non-graphic mentions of violence, angst, childhood sweethearts, mention of arranged marriage, historical romance

The last time you saw him was seven years ago, when you hurled words dipped in hurt and  teenage venom at him as he held you, his beat-up leather bag at his feet by the water.

‘I need to go and earn my fortune, or your father will never let you marry me. Can’t you understand that?’ he pleaded with you.

‘We can run away!’ you insisted, your cheeks streaked with ugly tears.

He shook his head, kissing you on your forehead. ‘I want you to have a life you deserve, and I can’t give it to you if I don’t do this.’ 

Taking off the only thing he has of value - his mother’s gold ring set on a chain - he slipped it over your head and kissed you one last time.

‘I’ll come back for you. Wait for me, darlin’.’

You stand on that very same dock now. You’ve grown up. You’re taller, sadder, and you wear your melancholy like a shroud. You’re set to sail across the seas to England, a country you’ve never set foot on; and to marry your betrothed, a man you’ve never met.

You’re numb, resigned to your fate. Jack is dead. Or he’s found someone else, married and happy in a distant, exotic land. It doesn’t make a difference either way.

His mother’s ring, the only thing you have left of him, hangs between your breasts, digging into your skin under your corset, the same place it’s been all these years.

Your chambermaid asks gently, ‘Are you ready, my lady?’

You nod.

And you walk the plank.

The sound of cannon fire jolts you violently out of your sleep, and you bolt up from your uncomfortable little cot. It sounds like hell unleashed up on deck above, the sound of boots and violence right on top of your head.

Your chambermaid bursts into your room with one of your coats in her hands.

‘What’s happening?’ you ask frantically.

‘Pirates!’ she screams.

She throws the coat over your shoulders, and you hastily pull on a pair of boots. Once you’re decent, a lieutenant appears to escort you both to safety.

It’s bedlam above. The bitter tinge of gunpowder stings your eyes and nose, the smell of blood turns your stomach, and then the screams and the clang of swords - the lieutenant presses a hand to the back of your head so you’re looking at your feet as you sprint across deck, or you surely would have fainted.

Your entourage makes it to the back of the ship, where one of the rowing boats is ready to be lowered into the water - when you hear a gun being cocked at the back of your head.

‘Not so fast, darlin’.’

Darlin’.

You’d know that voice anywhere.

Your chambermaid shrieks in fright when the lieutenant falls onto the floor from a blunt crack of the butt of a pistol against his head.

Slowly, you turn around.

His eyes are the same. The same brown, but now, there are lines around them and creases at the corners. He’s obviously seen a lot of sun, freckles and marks pepper his face, and curls peek from underneath the wide-brimmed hat he wears. Behind him, you see the looming figure of a ship flying the unmistakable black flag of a skull with two swords underneath it.

Jack grins at you. ‘Hello, darlin’.’

You walk straight up to him and slap him across the face, with everything you got. From the corner of your eye, you see the other bedraggled pirates gasp at your bold action as his head whips to one side at the force.

But he only grins wider and pulls you into him by your wrists. He smells of the sea, musky, with the distinct whiff of ocean salt.

‘Where the hell have you been?’ you spit at him, your traitorous eyes brimming with tears.

He clucks teasingly. ‘What a tongue you’ve got on you now, darlin’.’

You shove at him with your whole body, but he barely budges. ‘Fuck you, Jack. I waited for you, and you never came back for me.’

He cocks his head to one side. ‘I did come back for you, darlin’, I was at our hometown but three days ago - only to be told that you were on your merry way to marry some landed gentry across the sea. And that simply won’t do - I’m a pirate darlin’, and I don’t share what’s mine.’

You scoff. ‘I’m not yours, Jack. You lost me when you left me seven years ago.’

‘It’s Captain Jack to you, thank you very much,’ he retorts playfully, unfazed by your ire. You gasp when he unceremoniously rips open the lapels of your coat, and one rough fingertip trails down your bare neck, curling around the delicate gold chain that you never take off.

His eyes soften at the sight of his mother’s ring. ‘You lie so well, you’ll make an excellent pirate yourself, darlin’.’

Grabbing him by the scruff of his collar, you kiss him hard, his big hands gripping your waist, crushing you into his embrace. Brushing his nose against yours, he pulls back. 

‘I should’ve asked you all those years ago,’ he says, regret colouring his words. ‘Will you marry me?’

You palm his cheek, grinning through tears. ‘Yes, my captain, a thousand times yes.’

[maxsimagination]

𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗹 - 𝗺.𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗱

summary: mackenzie is a brick wall against england, and gets aus through to the finals.

-> let’s pretend they won against england

𖦹 masterlist

𝗧𝗢𝗡𝗬 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗢𝗗 𝗜𝗡 front of us, giving his pre-game speech in an attempt to hype us up for the next 90 minutes. i had zoned out, someone cheering me on was never the way for me to get into the game.

i had always been the sort to get angry and play my heart out. in my trance my eyes had trained themselves on mackenzie, or macca, as the team nicknamed her. she was intensely listening to tony's speech, her being the complete opposite to me in almost ever way.

she must've felt my eyes on her and turned her head just slightly and glanced at me with a small smile. i return the favour and grin over at her before tuning into what tony was saying. "...we can do this girls, finals here we come!" he finishes with a shout and sam steps up to head off our chant.

"tillies on three. one, two, three, TILLIES!" we all shout the last word and break apart with a cheer.

i was insanely nervous but i knew i could do it. the girls started dispersing around the changing room, most just completing their pre-game rituals if they haven't already. i only had one, and me and mac did it together. before we did, i went around the room, hugging the girls and wishing them good luck, we could do it.

then i got to mackenzie. she pulled me in for a bear hug and i melted into her. "i love you so much. you can do this." she grinned down at me from her 5"10' stature.

"i love you too." i laughed.

tony clapped his hands, grabbing our attention. "alright girls, time to get out there." we moved into the tunnel, each of us holding a child mascots hands.

——

the whistle was finally blown after we sung the anthems for both countries and took a knee. i jumped in my place, remembering what mac had told me earlier. england had first possession and they were running towards us, full speed.

i was immediately in there, looking to steal the ball back from millie bright. she managed to spin away from me but i still took off after her, she was fast i'd give her that but this was a warmup for me.

the ball was mid-pass to rachel daly when i kicked away and took off with it. weaving in and out of the opposing players, everyone tried to get it off of me but they couldn't. i kicked it to sam who pulled a header and i took possession again. i was closing in on the goal and mary earps who looked like she was ready for me. we'll see.

i went in for the kick but made it look like it was going one way then kicked the other, sending mary the opposite direction to where i had kicked. the crowd went wild, and i ran back into my teammates who were cheering like crazy.

australia was 1-0 and it had only just been five minutes. we reset and england had possession again, taking off towards us again. i tried to get in there but it was alessia russo with the ball and she had always been the one player that knew my tricks, after i had a 2 year stint at arsenal with her. and she could match my speed. we stayed neck and neck with each other, getting closer and closer to mac and our goal.

i made one last ditch attempt to get the ball away but alessia was too close and she booted it straight towards mackenzie. i sucked in a breath in anticipation and watched, almost in slow motion, as the ball went hurling towards mac and... she caught it!

mackenzie caught the ball, landing roughly on the grass but getting up just as quickly, yelling a 'come on!' as if to ask if that was all they had. i just ran to hug my girlfriend and then got back on the pitch. we played the rest of the first half, with neither side scoring another goal and went to half time, australia still 1-0 to england.

——

"keep it going! we only have one last chunk left and we're in the finals, further than we've ever been before!" tony was almost giddy with excitement at how we were going. half time break was almost up and we all fist bumped each other, getting ready to head back out.

i was getting jumpy, waiting to get on the field again and finally we could. i was the first out there, followed by sam, and we got into position.

whistle blew and we were off, we had the ball first this time. sam kicked it to me and i quickly passed it on to hayley, she ran down the wing but was surrounded by england players. she kicked it out the side to me and i gave it back to sam who took off with the ball.

there were only two players in front of her; millie bright and lauren james. neither of the two girls could stop the ball from flying past them and into the net behind mary. sam had scored our second goal.

we all ran towards her, the crowd went wild behind us. i checked the time displayed on the screens, reading 20:00 in bold numbers. holy shit, it's been 25 minutes already? it seemed unreal but i had to quickly focus back on the game.

england started in possession, and it seemed this time they were more aggressive, trying anything and everything to score a goal. but every time they got near the goal, it was steph defending, or if it got past her then mac saved the ball. i was so proud of her, she was absolutely crushing it out here.

we kept going, the score still 2-0 to us after sam's miracle goal in the 67th minute. the timer blinked 90:00 but it wasn't over yet, we still had to play injury time, 5 minutes of it. as much as i wanted a 3-0 score for us, and tried my hardest to get through england's defence, it wasn't happening in five minutes.

the ref called the game over and we were over the moon. we'd won the semi final match against england and we were into the finals.

i ran around the pitch, crashing into my teammates who were just as happy and excited. mac had come up the field to celebrate with us and i made a beeline for her, getting to her before alanna does.

"mackenzie arnold, you brick wall! i love you so much!"

she burst out laughing at my words, picking me up and swinging me around. once she put me down the rest of the team swarmed her, all of them praising her masterful goalkeeping abilities.

i calmed down from my high, and looked over to see the england players dejected, in particular lucy. she was a friend, i had played with her when i moved from arsenal to lyon, but then west ham picked me up and i moved back to the wsl. i just sat next to her on the field, one arm around her and head on her shoulder.

"next year luce, next year." she sniffed, and that broke my heart. i don't think i'd ever seen her cry except for losing a match that had meant everything to her. she thanked me, insisting i go back and celebrate with my team.

i jogged back over to them and joined in the victory lap around the pitch. macca had taken her gloves off so i grabbed her hand and she liked to see me. "you're our saviour, mac. couldn't have down it without you." she grinned back down at me. "i'm a brick wall, right?" her words referenced mine before.

"my brick wall."

[that1nkyone]

Hang on, I gotta talk about the Platypus for a sec

So it's a pretty well-known fact that once colonialists started invading Australia in the 1700s, they came across a lot of fauna that made them go "what the fuck is this." A lot of the default reaction for England back then was 'shoot it and take it back home,' or 'put aboard a ship and hope it's alive when we get there.'

But I wanna talk a little about the details of that, and how I'm a little cheesed off with the Naturalists of Old when they first saw a platypus.

For one, it was dead. And dismissed because there's no way that beak was real. Those cheeky colonists were definitely playing a prank and wasting their time.

And then a few more come in, this time preserved as well as they can be in spirits. And people start saying "okay, well... what is it? Is it a bird? The bill makes me think it's a bird." "These aren't feathers." "It swims? It's an amphibian, which is a Reptile, as we all know (they didn't think these guys Seperate until quite a bit later)." "This thing is also clearly amongst the Lower Beings of God's Creations (Creationism was still a big thing in scientific circles)."

Paper upon paper was written about this new creature, and suddenly nobody could agree on what to classify it as. Their ideas of the natural order started suddenly collapsing and being thrown into disarray.

Because of this little guy.

The Naturalist Science scene was going berserk halfway across the world because their fundamental understanding of nature was being turned on its head by this tiny mammal - who they were still trying to decide whether it was a mammal.

The English were having arguments with the French, but some were collaborating ideas based on what data they'd gained (some French and English naturalists met up in Australia during the war to share a drink and talk about Platypuses). Because this strange duck-billed creature surely had no place in the Chain of Being, their point of classification for species that they'd used for the past hundreds of years. And if it did, where the heck did it belong?

Did it lay eggs? How did it swim? What was the bill for? They didn't know the answer to any of these questions because all the specimens they got from Australia were Very Deceased, either being shot and put in spirits, or dried out. The poor platypus was being done in a lot for the sake of research.

And look, I know methods were Different back then, and it wasn't easy to transport live specimens or have the technology to preserve specimens over half the planet. With that said, I do want to point something out:

While this huge crisis is happening, in January 1812, a man named Patrick Hill gets the bright idea to like... ask the elder of the local Indigenous tribe about them (my source records him as Cookoogong, but not all sources about First Nations from early colonial texts are accurate.)

And Cookoogong's like "Oh, these guys? Yeah, so, they do lay eggs. They have long, deep burrows. We know how to get to them. There's a spur at the back of their feet. We don't really eat them for food. We call it the mullingong.*"(also malangong, depending on what tribe/dialect) Cool. Mystery solved.

Except:

It took over seventy years for this information to become accepted as scientific fact.

Not just because of the inherent biases of the Colonials being backwater people and prisoners in a funny little land far away, not just out of a need to get more data before confirmation, but because almost nobody in Europe took the word of the native population in Australia.

And in between that 72 year gap between 1812 and 1884, there were so many instances of the First Nations people giving vital and essential pieces of information on correctly identifying the features and habits of this land mammal as European Scientists had a massive meltdown and argument over whether an animal they'd Never Seen Alive gave milk or not.

Hell, Charles Darwin made the trip to Australia, and was inspired by animals like the Platypus to start questioning whether all life was truly static and didn't transition or adapt to changing circumstances.

The platypus made Charles Darwin start questioning his beliefs in Creationism, and going on to begin his steps towards the theory of evolution.

And then there's Harry Burrell, who had the bright idea of like, not killing specimens every time someone wanted to see it up close. He was one of the first recorded people to try and keep platypuses in captivity, and thoroughly learn their preferred lifestyle, diet and breeding habits from careful observation. He would learn how to make platypuses Comfortable, and how to transport them safely.

His protege, David Fleay (pictured below), would go on to ensure the first successfully bred platypus in captivity - 'Corrie' (born to parents Jack and Jill).

what I'm saying is, the story of trying to Classify the Platypus ends in "Nature is just fucking weird, we're going to try understanding it as best we can, and maybe we should ask and respect the opinions of the people who have lived alongside something we don't understand for thousands of years."

The platypus is literally referred to by Mervyn Griffiths, an authority on monotremes, "The animal of all time."

Anyway, in summary: - Colonialism fucking sucks and Sovereignty was never ceded.

- The Platypus is an Amazing Creature and sorta Toppled Creationism in the scientific community??

[favouritefi]

I would be super fascinated to learn more about how Peglar's views re. If humans get to be people why can't I, affects his relationship with Bridgens - and really just about how they came to be in/navigate through that relationship. Your art is adorable and I love it doubly more so for the amount of care and consideration you have for the inner works of creating a dog/cat boy world. :)

aw thank you this au really is my brain going "crack treated seriously" and somehow making This and im glad other ppl enjoy it too. i have a lot of thoughts on this in terms of how much history to keep and how much to disregard so its under the cut:

so apparently in the book (which i have not read and do not plan to read) bridglar met on the hms beagle and as far as i can tell thats completely made up bc peglar was sailing w the east india company at the time.

then theres the show weirdness of bridgens being like in his 50s/60s when irl bridgens was in his 20s and this makes more sense bc as far as i can tell the position of steward was usually one reserved for younger men so for 50smth bridgens to be jfj's steward is a little odd and esp odd if hes a human in a position that is typically meant for cat/dogboys so my logic for this is that either 1) jfj requested bridgens to be his steward or 2) bridgens requested to be jfj's steward and either option would mean giving bridgens and jfj a slightly closer relationship than what they have in show canon which is fine that just means peglar and bridgens likely met during the first opium war but then how they met is still a mystery bc peglar would be aboard the wanderer with hodgson and bridgens would be on the cornwallis/clio with jfj so like ???

POINT BEING for all the reasons above ive handwaved away exactly how they meet but AT SOME POINT they do meet during the first opium war. peglar was the one who initiated the relationship tho the two of them did have mutual feelings for each other before committing to anything and bridgens is deffo the kinda guy who would go all "i would love you no matter what species you are" and actually mean it and peglar. ok so. i have a lot of thoughts about peglar.

so irl peglar was lashed for drunkeness and mutinous conduct while serving with the east indian company and for catboy peglar i like to imagine that travelling to places where cat/dogboys arent treated the way they are treated in england really opened his eyes and his mind to the idea of being treated like a person and this is obviously not a mindset that human officers want him to have and hence why he was lashed. he then served on the wanderer fighting against the slave trade and thats another chance to see a different type of human-to-cat/dogboy relationship even if he wouldnt have had as many opportunities to live amongst the locals as he did while with the east india company. and peglars like, smart. part of the reason why bridgens falls in love w him is bc of his intelligence and cheek and wit and peglar knows that britiannia's "civilizing mission" is bogus because while they are trying to abolish slavery on one hand they are also actively enforcing Company rule in India on the other and bc peglar has seen both sides of that he has Thoughts about it, Thoughts he didnt dare share with anyone until bridgens coaxed it out of him and to his surprise bridgens agreed with him.

bridgens, being well read and well educated, also knows that the way england treats cat/dogboys is the exception and not the rule and really like cherishes peglar and loves him like truly loves him and is thus completely aware of and careful of their uneven power dynamic here and wouldve never been the first to initiate anything for that very reason. and its not easy to navigate this forbidden relationship but peglar makes it worth it and both of them did worry that maybe this was merely a maritime romance but in the months between the war and the expedition they managed to sneak in lowkey dates on land and found that they were still very much compatible and it really makes things all the more tragic that bridgens cant afford to adopt peglar outright and ensure that henry lives out the rest of his days in peace curled up next to the fire with a good book and smiling whenever he catches john staring at him and god, they are so in love.

[anthemofgvf]

THEORY TIME EVERYONE!!!

a big question a lot of us are wondering is WHO IS THE WOMAN IN THE VIDEO. i have a theory for it. although a lot of people believe her to be the master, i have to disagree. she closely resembles Vivien from the King Arthur legend.

strap in folks, this one is going to be a bit long.

also, if you haven't read @oliverreedmasterass 's theory, PLEASE DO! here it is.

so, while i do see how the mv brought in resemblances to other pieces of history such as the painting of Ophelia and Guinevere, i think it’s possible she can be more closely related to Vivien.

Vivien, also known as the “Lady of The Lake”, is the one who handed King Arthur, the first monarch of England, the Excalibur (as legend has it), which is the sword she pulls out of the water and tells him "hey you're the king of England now bud."

music video reference^

two depictions of the Lady of The Lake^

Now who is the only person that has a sword in the music video?

JAKE. KISZKA. I think he resembles King Arthur, since he was a warrior before becoming king.

I believe Jake to become the leader, POSSIBLY the Master, since he is the heart of the band and technically the one who started it all. He can also be seen as the warrior, or a knight, and more often than not knights become kings (masters, monarchs, etc.) He, along with Josh, has the most time on screen and seems to play a very important role.

Now, how does this tie into the King Arthur legend?

King Arthur said that he was sent by God to protect the Holy Land, Israel, for the pilgrims (people who are on a religious quest) from the Muslims who murdered them once they tried to enter. Some people say he said God sent him to give himself an excuse for all of the killing he did, but anyways.

So, we see Josh being the most affected, in my opinion, by this battle. At the end, delusional to the madness, is still devoted to this Master and whatnot. I think Jake is the one sent “by God” to save him and relieve him of his delusions.

Vivien is also depicted to try and save Lancelot “from the madness��. That’s a side note, btw. Not super important, but I figured I’d include it since Josh sings “And I’m taken, by the madness.”

Sammy plays an interesting role, barely having ANY screen time. We all collectively agree that he is the sorcerer, and in the legend, Merlin underwent a spell by Vivien because he just wasn’t strong enough and ends up dying. She was referred to as “a creature to bewitch a sorcerer”. With the red gloves resembling blood imo, that could be from his “fight” with her and trying to stay alive but loses the battle in the end. Therefore, I think Sammy resembles Merlin the most.

The Master could resemble God, or some sort of God, which is why we never see his face and he is only in a hooded cloak because his face itself is too “powerful” for the naked eye. In the Bible, God is depicted as such- his whole being is too powerful for the naked eye and the mortal, which is why you see him after death. The Master could be someone completely different, but yeah.

A slight side note, but all the forest and green imagery is very resemblant to what England looked like at the time this legend takes place.

Josh’s character to this legend has been hard to pick, but I might’ve found a match: Mordred. Now, although the legend and other depictions say he is Arthur’s son or nephew, we aren’t talking about relationships. This is just who they resemble in the music video. Anyways, I picked Mordred to be Josh because he ends up going crazy and wanting power after Arthur (Jake) recruits him to be a part of his round table, basically trying to overrule Arthur of his kingship after he leaves for battle and lets Mordred rule while he's away. So, when we see Josh going crazy at the end, it’s him being consumed with power and thinking “hey i can take over since they’re all gone i’m left with the crown and throne.” In legend aspects, in almost all of the stories where Mordred is depicted, he betrays Arthur, which is why Josh is the only one in the end saying “burn it up to give him all of our love” because he wants to tarnish Jake’s kingship so he can rule and give the master "all of our love" because he thinks killing everyone will show how devoted he is and will try to recruit everyone he can. He’s also a womanizer in some stories, and we all know Josh is one himself. (Galahad was another close choice, bc he is a pure knight and we see Josh in white and his outfit resembles closely to a statue of him, but I chose to go a different route specifically because of the ending of the video where it seems Josh has betrayed everyone and is on a whole different path).

Danny was also hard to pick, and I have yet to find a match for him. All we know is that he is the archer of the story, but he’s the only one that I haven’t found a good match for in the legend since we don’t know much about him other than the fact he went to battle (has blood on his hands represented by the gloves) and he uses his bow and arrow for battle rather than a sword. So, I think he is someone a part of Arthur’s round table who eventually dies, since him and Sam only have red gloves and I think with Sam and Danny having the least amount of screen time they both died in the battle. I don't know, just a thought. I think Danny has more meaning than we think, so I'd like to say he is one of the more profound knights of the round table.

Some possible matches to Danny (most of them didn't die in battle but still):

-Bedivere, who throws the Excalibur after Arthur's last battle to the Lady of The Lake and is known as "one-handed great warrior".

-Brunor, who was terrible at jousting but "near invincible on foot", which would explain why he has a bow and arrow? i think that only because jousters used swords so I think agility would fit w/ a bow and arrow.

-Galehaut, he is a noble enemy turned an ally of King Arthur as well as an inseparable friend to Lancelot, who is King Arthur's closest companion. Also, possible lover of Lancelot.

-Lancelot, who is Arthur's closest companion, is a hero of many battles and known as one of the greatest Knights of the Round Table. He was raised in a fairy realm by the Lady of the Lake, which could explain how they know of her in the music video and such. He was an unrivalled swordsman and jouster.

-Percival, best known for being the original hero in the quest for the Holy Grail. I say this because, well, I think Danny has a more prominent role to begin with and I believe he is able to use a bow and arrow because he is more skilled than the rest.

(Also TBAGG ties into this bc I think it was happening while they were on the search for the Holy Grail, but I haven’t done enough research for that to know if that makes sense).

I also think the woman could be a "disciple" sent by the master, if we are keeping up with this seemingly religious theme they've got going on. The Master could be a being of the dark arts, perhaps the devil...I'm not sure OR a figure of God. I don't feel like I know enough to make a strong statement. I just can say with positivity that the Master is a higher power that requires devotion from his followers. Josh is willing to give it to him, whilst I believe the rest of them realize the destruction done and are trying to steer away from the past of their battle and go back to their lives of purity and the woman is able to take them there but with a price. A possible trick, which is why the video seems to go dark, and they realize there is no escape, and they now are a part of some sort of cult and Josh is the only one that's like "hell yeah cult shit!". This doesn't have much to do with my theory stated above, rather it is a "side theory".

Whew, alright. That was a lot. Let me know what you guys think! I’m not an expert so idk if I got anything factually wrong or right, but I hope this was interesting!!

Edit: I think I might explain why I think TBAGG resembles the Holy Grail and other Arthurian battles another time. AOTM in my opinion is the making of King Arthur's Round Table, and then the TBAGG is the quest to find the Holy Grail. Then, Starcatcher is the aftermath of it all, where we see betrayal, death, trickery, and a hope to find peace from the madness.

[moghraidhs]

jackbucky pt vii

Bucky is hurt.

Jack has had a dozen things to do since they landed in Algeria a few hours ago, but the thought keeps circling his mind on repeat, nudging away other concerns. They’re not serious injuries, compared to the others; several of the men are going to need stitches and one or two have shrapnel wounds that require a doctor’s attention. All Bucky has are a few cuts, likely delivered by flying glass in the chaos of earlier. And yet Jack can’t stop thinking it.

Bucky is hurt.

He blames tiredness for his hands shaking. It’s been their worst mission to date; half their number, gone. Jack doesn’t even want to imagine the amount of paperwork waiting for him when they get back to England. There’s something bitterly ironic in that, a whole life reduced to a set of forms.

Speaking of which…Jack glances across the airfield to where Bucky stands alone, staring off into the distance. It might look meaningless to some, considering their location, but Jack knows what he’s looking for.

Wild Cargo hasn’t landed.

They’d lost Curt in the battle somewhere over Germany. Jack hadn’t seen him go down–another thing he feels responsible for, even if there was no way to keep an eye on the rest of the men while trying to fend off German fighters.

But Curt is Bucky’s friend. And now he’ll be just another number, another form. The same kind of form Jack could be writing for Bucky himself.

His hands start to tremble again and Jack bites back an irritated curse. In the time it takes for them to go back to normal, Bucky disappears from his line of sight. Something that does not make Jack panic, but he can’t help the little hitch of relief in his chest when he finally focuses on the other man seated on the back of their Jeep. Brady is standing in front of him, tending to his injuries.

Being Air Exec means maintaining a certain level of distance between himself and all the other crews. It’s a fine line Jack has learned to walk very well in the past few months, even with his and Bucky’s relationship. The last thing he wants is to give anyone an excuse to accuse him of favouritism. Still, he can’t stop himself from approaching the Jeep–standing a respectable distance away, of course, but close enough that he can actually see what’s going on.

Brady’s jaw is set tight as he rummages in his little First Aid kit. Bucky sits quietly, unusual for him, the edges of his coat flapping a little in the breeze. He looks alright, and yet…

“You should go to him,” Buck says.

Jack suppresses the momentary temptation to startle. He hadn’t even heard the other man come up, but when he turns, Buck is right there next to him. He looks tired too, a couple of plasters covering the cuts on his face.

Jack folds his arms. “It’s not as easy as all that, Buck.” Even if he so badly wants it to be. “I can’t be seen playing favourites.”

“After what we just went through, you think any of that matters?” Buck jerks his chin in Bucky’s direction. “Do something about it.”

It’s the faintest bit galling to hear an echo of his own words, but Jack knows there’s no denying the truth of them. That, and holding back right now has never been more exhausting.

He approaches Brady and gives the younger pilot a light tap on the shoulder. “I’ll take over. You go and check on your crew.”

Brady glances up at him and nods, handing over the first aid kit. Jack takes his place in front of Bucky.

Up close, the cuts aren’t too bad; a couple are still bleeding sluggishly, but not too much. Jack fishes around for some cleaning alcohol and cotton wool and starts wiping away the traces of blood.

Bucky is warm. He always has been; like a radiator, Jack remembers him saying one time with a grin. There’s no trace of that grin now, something far away and almost lost in his eyes. His pulse is too fast as well, like the nightmare of the last few hours is still playing out in his head.

He could have died. The thought Jack’s been trying to ignore comes at him like a burst of flak, almost knocking him off balance. He smoothes the cotton wool gently against Bucky’s face, fingers trembling just a bit with cold realisation.

He could have–could have–

“Jack,” Bucky says, and Jack blinks down at him. That almost glassy stare of his has disappeared, a small smile curling his lips. “Hey.”

The smile is what does it. Jack feels the air return to his lungs, his throat no longer locked tight. “John,” he says, relief and a thousand other things in that one word.

You’re alright. We made it. You’re alright.

Bucky seems to understand him–how, Jack’s not sure–but he does. He gives Jack’s hand a little squeeze.

I’m okay.

When they get a moment to themselves again, Jack will hold him and feel the beat of his heart and remind himself that they're okay. But for now, on a dusty airfield in the middle of nowhere, this is enough.

We made it.

~

(@getinthefuckingjaeger buck and his lines belong to you - thank you for always being ready to go unhinged over these two with me)

[droids-in-disguise]

Favorite Books I've Read in 2023 (so far)

So fun fact I read a lot, here are my top 10 books that I’ve read so far this year, in the order I read them. Never really posted this sort of thing on tumblr before but I thought I’d give it a try.

Book details and some of my thoughts under the cut.

A Thousand Steps Into Night by Traci Chee (2022)

YA Fantasy

A Thousand Steps Into Night is a book I 100% picked up because of the cover and because it was super cheap. I hadn’t ever heard anything about the book or author. The best way I can describe this novel is that reading it conjured up the same feelings that I get from watching a Ghibli film. Our protagonist Miuko is an ordinary girl from a small village until one day she is cursed and slowly begins transforming into a demon. Hoping to find a way to break the curse, she begins to travel the land meeting lots of colorful characters, gods, and mythic figures along the way. It’s a very atmospheric and wonderfully written book that pulls a lot of inspiration from Japanese mythology and folklore

A Restless Truth by Freya Marske (2022)

Romance/Fantasy

This is the second book in the Last Binding trilogy. I feel like you could probably get away with skipping the first book if you wanted to since both books are somewhat self-contained, but why would you? The first book (A Marvellous Light) is awesome. Our story takes place in an alternate-Edwardian England where magic is real and certain people can practice it, unbeknownst to the rest of the non-magical population. Maud Blyth, a non-magical person who has the privilege of knowing about magic, is working with members of the magical community as well as her brother (the protagonist from the first book) to prevent a dangerous magical contract form falling into the wrong hands. She is travelling on an ocean liner when the old woman in her care ends up dead. Cue the murder mystery shenanigans and sapphic romance!

Kiss Her Once for Me by Alison Cochrun (2022)

Romance

I actually read this book twice this year, once by myself and once for my book club. It has what is quite possibly one of the most bonkers rom-com plots I’ve ever seen and I love how ridiculous it is. Basically, our main character Ellie meets a women in Powell’s books and they have a magical, Christmas one-night-stand. Fast forward almost one year later, Ellie is having a difficult time out here in good-old Portland, OR after getting fired from her dream job and having to instead rough it as a barista. In a last-ditch effort to not lose her apartment, she agrees to marry her job’s landlord so he can get his inheritance and Ellie gets a percentage in exchange. However, it turns out that her one-night-stand from last year is her new fake-fiancé’s sister. GASP! The only place this book loses points for me is that there’s too many goddamn Taylor Swift references.

The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer (2021)

YA Sci-Fi

If I had to pick a favorite out of all these books it would be this one. Reading this book felt like getting hit by a bus. Our POV character is Ambrose Cusk, an astronaut aboard the Coordinated Endeavor who has been sent on a mission into deep space to rescue his sister. His only companion is another boy named Kodiak who comes from a rival nation (think Cold War-ear space race). As they slowly start to interact with one another it becomes clear that for some reason neither one of them have any memory of the ship’s launch. The only knowledge they have of what’s going on comes from the ship’s internal computer and infrequent communications from Earth. As they begin to investigate, they discover a lot more than they bargained for. The first half of this book is like your typical gay space adventures and then at like the 50% mark onwards the rug gets pulled out from under you and you just have to go WHAT THE FUCK and then when you finish the book you just have to pretend like you’re fine and can move on with your life (you can’t). My only complaint is that this book should not have been YA, like there’s absolutely 0 reason for it to be.

Firekeeper’s Daughter by Angeline Boulley (2021)

YA Thriller

This book was unexpected for me. I have a habit of just reading books I know absolutely nothing about because someone, somewhere said it was good and because I think the cover is pretty. For some reason I assumed this would be a fantasy book but it’s actually a thriller/mystery novel, which is not at all a genre I typically go for. Our main character, Daunis Fontaine, is a biracial Ojibwe girl who loves hockey and her community. Her status as an unenrolled member of her tribe has her stuck with a foot in each world. After a family tragedy, circumstances push her to agree to work undercover with the FBI in order to find the source of a dangerous substance that has infiltrated her community and threatens the lives of those she cares about. I found Daunis to be an extremely compelling character with a strong narrative voice. Watching all the layers of the mystery getting peeled away through her investigation was extremely satisfying. She uses mainstream scientific knowledge in tandem with more tribal specific knowledge of botany and medicine in order to figure things out, which I thought was super cool. This is another book where I feel like it could’ve gotten away with not being YA, but I don’t feel as strongly about it as I do in regards to The Darkness Outside Us.

In the Lives of Puppets by TJ Klune (2023)

Sci-fi

Where to even begin this one… Have you ever wanted a book that was partly a story about a robot found family on post-apocalyptic Earth and partly a Pinocchio retelling? Yeah me either, but I’m so glad I got it. Victor Lawson is a human raised by robots. He has a peaceful existence with his android father and other mechanical friends until his curiosity unknowingly alerts robots from his father’s former life to their existence. Vic’s father is captured and it’s up to the rest of the family to rescue him. Victor is also asexual and how he describes and navigates his asexuality was so similar to my own it was like looking in a mirror.

Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H. (2023)

Memoir

This was a wonderful memoir about a queer Muslim as she reconciles those two pieces of her identity, and the struggles she faces finding community. Growing up religious, there were a lot of experiences in this memoir that I personally related to. Something I really enjoyed is how the author retold stories from the Quran and used them to frame her own queer experiences. There was a lot about this book that was very comforting to me, and I feel like it was written in a way that was accessible and easy to understand.

Black Sun (and by extension it’s sequel, Fevered Star) by Rebecca Roanhorse (2020/2022)

Fantasy

Black Sun is the first book in the Between Earth and Sky trilogy, an epic fantasy series with a world inspired by pre-colonial American civilizations. This series has such a large and complex cast of characters, with chapters from multiple POVs, so it’s impossible to say if there is really any one protagonist. Essentially, the upcoming solar eclipse foretells the return of the crow god and the unbalancing of the status quo that has previously been maintained by an order of priests. Some characters are working to make sure this comes to pass, some hope to prevent it, and some aren’t quite sure where their loyalties lie. By the end of the first chapter I already knew I was in for a wild ride (the book opens on a mother sewing her 12-year old son’s eyes shut, ew). This series also features a queernormative world, where non-binary characters and same-gender relationships are commonplace.

This Poison Heart by Kalynn Bayron (2021)

YA Fantasy

This book was so cool and really had a lot going for it. Briseis Greene has the uncanny ability to grow and control plants. She and her two moms live in Brooklyn where they run a flower shop. One day, a visitor arrives to tell Bri that she has inherited an old country estate in upstate NY from her birth family. Bri wonders if this house could be the answer to her family’s financial woes and so they travel upstate where Bri begins to learn more about her abilities and her family’s history. Every answered question leads to dozens more unanswered and between strange individuals wandering the estate, townspeople who seem to know secrets, and increasing instances of violence and vandalism, Bri begins ask herself if staying here is worth it if it means her family might be in danger. This book is a queer, mythology inspired, part urban fantasy, part thriller/haunted house story, of a modern fairytale. Truly something in it for everyone.

[dropintomanga]

The Farm as a Place of Healing - Vinland Saga

A while back when I was researching the clubhouse model for mental health, I found out that the clubhouse I visited in New York City had their very own farm. Its members, who have various serious mental illnesses, would travel there to grow crops, raise livestock, and more importantly, be around other people with the common goal of improving the farm and themselves.

Today, I was reminded of this particular farm thanks to the Farm Arc (Volumes 9-14) of Makoto Yukimura's Vinland Saga. It's an incredible testament to how much nature can promote better mental health.

For those unfamiliar with the story of Vinland Saga, it chronicles the age of the Vikings. A young man named Thorfinn travels with a Viking named Askeladd in order to get a chance to kill him one day. This is due to Askeladd killing Thorfinn's father, Thors, right in front of his eyes. Throughout Thorfinn's journey in Volumes 1-8, he encounters a variety of personalities while killing those who get in the way of his vengeance. However, one incident would change Thorfinn's plans forever. Askeladd is killed after he kills King Sweyn, a Danish king who wanted to control all of England and Wales, in front of Sweyn's guards. Now struggling to figure out what to do with his life, Thorfinn would later become a slave at a farm in Denmark, empty and full of grief.

A year after is when Thorfinn's story truly begins.

So how do farms help in dealing with all kinds of mental health issues? For starters, they get you away from modern cities. Cities are known to be super-stressful with how fast-paced and competitive you need to be to survive. It also doesn't help that they're often big, so one can get lost in the crowd when dealing with emotional pain.

Farms also are great places to have meaningful relationships due to everyone working together for a meaningful cause. For Thorfinn, he finally made his first friend in his fellow slave, Einar. Einar was full of life and questioned many things. He would find the farm to be somewhat of a haven despite being a slave. Although Thorfinn was struggling with the trauma from his past, Einar opened up his eyes to see that a different path could be chosen instead of feeling empty. This becomes evident when Einar convinces Thorfinn to help gradually grow some crops in their limited free time to buy their way to freedom from slavery.

Another notable thing about farms is that they allow you to sit in nature and give you the ability to self-reflect. Since being a slave at the farm, Thorfinn is consumed by nightmares of his father, Askeladd, and those he killed. He had a tough time trying to come to terms with his actions. But Thorfinn slowly opens up to Einar about his past as a Viking and the self-reflection begins to kick in. It isn't until he and Einar fought against farm vandals that he becomes spiritually awakened.

In what's to be his last nightmare, a land filled with a pile of corpses, Thorfinn reveals to a dead Askeladd that he's sorry for killing so many people over the years out of vengeance. Askeladd chastises Thorfinn and says that there's only one way to make amends - to become a "true warrior" like Thorfinn's father once told him. When Thorfinn wakes up, he tells Einar that he's through with violence and vows not to hurt anyone ever again.

Many times, people are told not to sit with their pain. But if we keep running away, we will never truly heal. It's hard to talk about grief when modernity demands us to keep moving forward. In nature and with other people (even if they aren't the nicest bunch), Thorfinn finally got a chance to process his grief and what it means to live. This is mostly due to being surrounded by people who are full of pain themselves from the farm owner, Ketil, to everyone else associated with it.

And speaking of people who are full of pain, I will get to the son of King Sweyn, Canute. When first introduced in Vinland Saga, he was a timid young man who was teased for looking too feminine to be a potential heir to the throne. Canute was placed under Askeladd's protection and felt empty himself. However, Canute slowly became what the young Thorfinn was - a man on a path of violence to get what he wants. After Sweyn's death, he took the throne and went on a raid of conquering everything around him. His father often appears to him in a ghostly form cursing him. Canute also was responsible for sending Thorfinn to the farm. In a twist of fate, Canute decides to target the same farm 4 years later for resources and out of personal animosity towards Ketil as he didn't respect him as king. The farm would become a place for Canute to heal from his own personal trauma.

A violent battle occurs within the farm, but Thorfinn decides to take a final stand against Canute's army by directly speaking with Canute himself. He suggests that he takes 100 punches by one of Canute's warriors. If Thorfinn is still standing afterwards, he gets to talk to Canute and convince him not to take the farm. Thorfinn gets his wish much to the awe of everyone who witnesses the event. Both he and Canute would get into a lengthy conversation about what constitutes a perfect paradise for humanity. When Canute re-affirms his goals to rob and kill everything in his sight for peace no matter what, Thorfinn replies that he will just run to a place he'll create that Canute won't reach. Canute is shocked that Thorfinn wouldn't attack him face-to-face, but respects how bold his former companion's newfound pacifism is.

And Thorfinn says something that changes Canute's perspective for good.

"You have to give me some help. My power is far smaller than yours. The hole you make might be too big for me. If you continue to persecute others like this...sooner or later, no one will be able to save you. So do some work. Don't make my job harder."

Canute is convinced and decides not to take the farm. After being surrounded by so much political scheming over the years, he realized that there are others who still care about him and want what he truly wants. Canute ends his attempts to grab power via violent means and would gradually become a king who truly respects and loves his people. The farm also no longer became a place for slaves and those who were still alive and cared about it made sure it will continue to grow.

And all of this happened at a farm setting. It felt like reading farm-based therapy in a historical context. The farm gave Thorfinn purpose, confidence and the ability to help others just like how farms today have done for those struggling with all kinds of mental health issues (minus the slavery part). More importantly, the farm fosters cooperation among the community as the way to feel alive instead of competition.

I've heard stories about people being stressed out from modern life and how they found solace in nature after realizing the sense of emptiness they start feeling. In a farm, you're free from various constraints that modernity places. Sure, there may be new constraints. But in exchange, you feel that you have some control in deciding what you want for yourself, see what's truly important, and learn another important fact of life - you have to go with the ebbs and flow of nature despite whatever governing body says.

Although I haven't been to a farm in very long time, I try to expose myself more to green spaces and pay attention to nature around me. I look at plants, birds, and other animals that hang around the area. I believe they have helped a lot in reminding me to slow down at times. Combined with the variety of people I've met in my life so far, I feel that I can still do something with my life despite the difficulties I'll face like Thorfinn has.

I hope everyone finds and/or have their own personal farm to go to because humanity's nature definitely needs a upgrade to actual nature.