#the jump from “im sorry dude you didnt” to “I hate that I let this drag on so long now I hate myself”

[d3cayingdolly]

falling off of the table when I was two didn't hit half as hard as the 'casual' bridge does

[bugboysgf]

Hate + Love

Chapter 2

series masterlist

Previous chapter

Summary: There is a thin line between love and hate but what if it's way thinner than you thought?

“Hi, im suppose to be tutoring somebody.” you told the lady at the front desk. The last 2 weeks had been stressful but out of extreme luck you managed to get all A’s but that also meant you had to tutor the people that were not doing so well in school.

“Oh yes, you must be Y/n.”

“I am.” you confirmed.

“Min Ho.” The lady calls his name and he jumps out of his seat.

“You gotta be kidding me.” you look at Min ho and he seems just as surprised as you are. “There has to be some sort of mistake, I can't tutor him.” the lady looks at her computer for a second and looks back at you.

“Sorry but there is a specific note from the teacher saying you can't switch.”

“What? Who wrote that.” you asked.

“It was your math teacher. Take a seat and get started.”

“I can't believe this.” you said sitting down.

“Do you think I want to do this? I have no choice.” Min ho rolled his eyes.

“Whatever can we just get started.”

After two hours tutoring you were done but to you i feel like 5 hours because every 10 minutes you and Min ho were arguing about something different.

“Thank you.” Min Ho says. You look at him in shock, you were never expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

“You have manners, I see. Can I get an apology too?” you asked hopefully.

“It happened almost 3 weeks ago, get over it.”

“God you're such a bitch.”

“Takes one to know one.”

—-

“We have Alex next.” Kitty said. “Oh my god we still have to walk up the stairs.” you said, you were tired already and it was only your 2 period.

“Do you want to go to a ramen place after the 5th period?” Kitty asked.

“Im Pretty sure I don't have to tutor today, so yes.”

“How is it? By the way, you are still not getting along.”

“Nope now i have to sit with him in alex class, because he wont let me change seats.” you rolled your eyes.

“Dude you have 4 months left until winter break, at least try to stop hating each other.”

“He's the problem, not me, he won't apologize. He said thank you yesterday when i tutored him but that's it.” you explained to Kitty. You honestly don't think that you and Minho would get along every chance he gets to make fun of you. He's gonna take it and you're tired of it.

“The problem is that you are both stubborn.” Kitty grabs the handle of the door and lets you into the class, she gives you a ‘be nice look’ and takes a seat.

You walked over to your seat and to your surprise Min Ho was already sitting down, he was always late. You take a seat and don't say a word to him.

“No greeting?” he asked

“What do you want?” you say in a cold tone.

“Woah, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.” he smirks.

“I just don't have time for your bullshit today.”

Lucky Alex didn't have you guys do anything with your partner work today you didnt think you could handle it anyways.

You grabbed your things and stuffed them into your backpack.

“y/n?” you stopped in your tracks and looked at the guy that called your name. Minho also stopped and looks at him.

“Yes?” you look at him confused. You've never seen this guy in your life and you had no idea why he was talking to you.

“I'm Derek, I was just trying to see if i can get your number.” you look around to see if anybody was watching and behind him were his friends waiting to see your next move. You didn't want to seem stuck up or anything, so you just smiled and typed your number into his phone.

“Great, I'll text you.”

“Cool” you watch him walk away and turn to Min ho. “And why did you stay?”

“What does he want with you?” “What do you mean?”you asked, confused.

“His dad is literally a millionaire.”

“I honestly dont give two fuck about that.” you said.

“It had to be a dare.” Min ho shook his head.

“Oh really? Just because an attractive guy asked for my number that means it has to be a dare?” you said offended. Min ho knew he messed up, he always jokes around but he knew that what he said really affected you.

“That's not-”

“Save it.” you walked away.

—

For the next few weeks you continue talking to Derek, you thought he would be a jerk but turns out he wasn't. He was really nice and listened.

“Where are you going?” Min ho asked Q. “Oh the nature club is having a hike today.” Q said, putting on his shoes.

“Great i'll come” Min ho got up from the couch. “You can't.” Q said.

“Why?” “Club members only.” “Dude i went last time.” Q stayed silent and didn't say anything. “Unless you don't want me to go for some reason?” “It's not that I don't want you to go, it's just that y/n and Derek are going to be there and I don't want you messing it up for her. She told me what you said when he asked for her number.” Q confessed.

“That's not what I meant, I tried to tell her that.”

“You should have said it in the first place, are you jealous or something?” Q asked.

“What no… no”

“Yup that sounds so convincing.”

“I don't like her, I hate her.”

“You know, you can hate and love somebody at the same time.” Q said shutting the door.

Min ho stood there thinking there's no way that he loves y/n? He hates her too much.

[cannibal-unicorn-ssssss]

Thunder cuddles.

Warnings : Not much, this is fluff, mentions of thunder and cigarettes.

No specific gender !!

im sorry its short, i randomly got this idea in class !! lolzz enjoy

You were at Brodies house , his aunt uncle and cousin were out of town, so you and Zakk were staying the night at Brodie. Zakk was smoking a cigarette in the living room, laying on the couch as he flipped through one of the magazines he stole from his father. You took the aunts room , staring at the ceiling , knowing you werent able to sleep because of the thunder outside, you always were afraid of thunder, or any loud noises, even if you hated to admit it. You curl into a ball , holding onto your legs as you try to sleep, trying to ignore the loud thuds from outside, it was already late, and Brodie had to be asleep. You shift in bed for hours, the rain nor the thunder were near to stopping, You eventually got tired of it, you sat up, looking arond before standing up and tiptoying to Brodies room, peaking in to see him listening to some of your cds , he probably had his headphones to max , since he didnt turn around to the sound of his door creaking open. You walk in, closing the door behind you before walking to Brodie, sitting on the bed and putting a hand on his back, making him jump. He takes his headphones off, looking up at you. ''You fucking scared me.'' He let out a shaky breath and sarcastically as you chuckled at his reaction. ''I can't sleep, and Zakk is probably whacking off to his stupid magazines. '' You say, your voice was softer, trying to make an excuse. Brodie looked away and nodded, understanding your explenation, or excuse in this case. ''Yeah.okay.. well what do you want to do? im pretty bored.'' He replied, looking back at your face , smilng softly. ''You just want to hang out here? you know, i dont mind you sleeping here .'' He added after, you look away. ''Yeah, i just need some company. '' You said, sighing knowing you needed anything, anything to fall asleep and ignore the sounds. Suddenly you heard the loudest thunder of the night, making you flinch slightly. Brodie took notice of this, slowly getting closer to you. ''Hey, you okay? its just thunder you know..'' He whispers, trying to comfort you, his hand goes to your shoulder, which made you look at him. ''Yeah,,...im..just scared of thunder, but im not a fucking pussy or something!'' You replied embarassed. Brodie sighs, looking away. ''Im also scared of thunder.. youre not pussy dude.'' He admits, sighing again. ''You want me to help you sleep? i dont know, hug till we fall asleep or something..? Im just trying to help..'' He asked, making you blush a bit. ''I dont need hugs- '' You defended, making Brodie roll his eyes, ''Zakk is not in here, he wont tease us for being scared.'' You were hesitant at first , but after a few minutes you found yourself awkwardly hugging eachother in bed, listening to the rain. ''I hope you locked the door, can you check? '' You asked, your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. ''Im sure i did, im too comfortable to move. '' He said, his eyes were closed as he held you close, making sure to make you feel comforted. ''You dont have to stay awake. you can sleep.'' He whispered, which made you finally close your eyes, feeling more comfortable cuddling your best friend, which you never did. You quickly fell asleep in eachothers arms, forgetting about the thunder and the rain.

Next morning, you two peacfully woke up, letting out yawns and sighs. You look over to Brodie, bursting out laughing at him, making him confused. ''What? Do i have something on my face? '' He said, slowly touching his face, his eyes were still closed, being half asleep. ''You have a penis drawn on your face..'' You say, making him sit up, and looking over at you. ''You do too..'' He said, smiling . Your laugh was gone, looking around for a mirror until you spot some pictures on the floor. You pick it up, looking at it, realizing it was you and Brodie cuddling last night, under it was was ' Fucking loverbirds.' written in a black marker, Zakk probably took this. ''Fucking Zakk took these .'' Brodie groaned. You two heard Zakk laugh and make a stupid joke about the two of you.

[rrxnjun]

this is yet again going to be a long one maybe but i'm not going to say sorry😎 AND I LOVE U FOR TEXTING ME!! and coming off anon just so i can add the screenie lmao so another liebestraum anon reveal

the first one i just screenshoted cuz what in the world about the cookies and cream‼️ and the second one is just so☹️ i just really love it spoke to me on a personal level☹️☹️

TO STAY ON BRAND LMAO no but fruity ice creams slap and not going to lie to u i dont like chocolate ice cream .-.

I LOVE FALL BUT IM SCARED OF SEPTEMBER SO IM CHILLING WITH SUMMER RN EVEN THOUGH ITS MY LEAST FAV SEASON ITS FALL WEATHER RN ANYWAYS HAHA and thank u thank u again ur fics kept me sane so couldn't have done it without u ily💘💖 I WILL NEVER STOP BEING SAPPY!!!

i finished reading it around 3-3:30 am lmao i looked at the clock at like one am and i jjst said okay one more part and i just kept doing that till i finished the fic💀 but it was worth it kept thinking about the whole day!! i went to the park with my neighbors and somehow we talked about learning to drive and the whole time my brain just went oh haechan of the fic oh it was amazing lmao

GOT A WHOLE SPREADSHEET READY FOR COUNTING I TOOK IT AS A SERIOUS MATTER!! and i can't believe i was right crazy i thought i definitely missed some THANK U FOR THE PRIZE I LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT SUNWOO PIC THO SCREAMING CRYING STILL !BEST PRIZE THANK U!

that happening irl some people have pretty interesting lives🫡 UR HAIR WONT GET MESSED UP IT WONT BE U DONT MANIFEST THE BAD VIBES DUDE!! i read hon and i just knew i had to mention it BUT I THOUGHT U USED IT INTENTIONALLY LMAO and can't argue with that it was deserved but can't let my man have false accusations going around even if he is crazy delusional and did what he did i have to protect his name🫡

OMG OMG WE GET A CSENKE REVEAL ON HERE AS WELL !!!! THE GROWTH !!!!!!! i was about to text u like hey girlie u forgot the anon button again but then i saw it was intentional and went :,)

i am with yn on this one cookies and cream needs to die like i HATE that flavor with a burning passion TT and the second one- ☹ see i wrote that for myself. u can see the jump from me being fine to being depressed to being fine again in that fic and HAHA and that part was just me reminding myself and assuring myself hhh i am glad it spoke to you <33

YOU DONT LIKE CJOCOLATE ICE CRWAM ???? BUT ITS A CLASSIC ???????!?!!! Our friendship might be ending right here and now ngl......

AAAH i get you !! especially since youre starting uni so it can get very scary but i promise u its gonna be all okay and exciting !! (Like if i ignore the homesickness and stress i felt last year, starting uni felt very new and exciting and i enjoyed it)). i cant wait for school to start ngl im so bored rn i need the routine 😭😭😭😭😭 also its so weird how this summer was summer for like.... a month....? and then it got cold again ??? like im not complaining since i like the colder weather but i didnt have a chance to go swimming this year so im ☹ and ily ily ily you keep me sane every day so im glad i was able to do the same

3??? AS IN THREEEEE AM ???? girl youre crazy no person should stay up so late to read my fic. but thats such an honor i- ☹☹ thank you <33 AHAHA i am glad u got reminded of my fic SHSJSJ but also same sometimes i drive and i get reminded of my own fic its crazy

A SPREADSHEET IM CRYING i kept a tally for each member. I lowkey forgot i mentioned them this much at the start i got surprised at seeing their names there 😭😭 but i am happy u enjoyed your prize ❤ special just for you

WE MANIFESTED WELL ALTHO NOT QUITE ENOUGH :((( i mean- it slipped out by itself THE PETNAME IS ROTTING MY BRAIN. its like sweetie? baby? babe? no. hon. why? my man uses it 🥰🥰🥰 also i cant believe u can still defend your man after all of that....unbelievable

[werethehellami]

I Fucking HATE My “Brother”.

(sorry about spelling, im terrible at it.)

All he does is cry and wine and bitch about everyone and every thing. He always complains about how much he hates my mother since she dosent bend backwards to meet his wants. she meets his needs just fine, but since she cant instnly fix his playsation, shes a slut and bitch.

And me? Apperntly im a fucking whore and a slut who retared. (I’m atusitci.) He dregreades me constnly. I pay for some of HIS GAMES. I get him my free food from work. I buy him fun stuff. But im an evil monster who should fucking jump already. Aperntly nobody fucking loves me, and everyone only uses me. Apperntly Im a worthless sack of shit who too lazy to do anything. (Depsite the fact i always do the dishes, i always am the one that sweeps, im the only one who mops. (Our mom works 2 jobs so isnt home a lot), And between the two of us, im the one with a job.) 

He breaks my glass/procline/clay jars and screams at me. he refuses to ever leave my room when i ask. When im skaing and crying after he breaks my stuff, he still refuses to leave my room. hes alomst 16(April is his birth mounth) but he acts worse then me at 4 with undinoed autism on meds for bipolar dispoder.

I dont even think im a human to him. let alone his god damn sister for fucks sake. Erleir this day, he acused me of stealing his card then got fucking pissed when i told him that mom had becuase i gave it to her like he fucking asked. then proced to to tell me to shut up , and then cussed me out for saying “You stared it but whatever baby.” EVen our mom agree he was being a bart today. He blcked me because he cant hald being a fucking teen, let alone a decent huming being.

He always call me a slut, a whore cause i lost my vriginty at 15. Keep in mind, that i asked him if he was A-Okay if i slept with that peroisn, and wounldt if he told me not to. As In I LITTERLY ASKED IF I COULD SLEEP WITH SOMEONE< GIVING ALL THE CONTROL TO SAY YES OR NO AND I WOULD BE OFRCED TO ACCEPT THAT AWNSER! 

He one trew a bag of noodles at my face, when after he intruped my stimuless(Were i walk around in cirlces and lissen to music, while figgitng, making jesters, and radonm sqeeks of exitment.) To show me some fucking tic-tock of some shitty omegle chat. then got pissed when i told him, “Hey dont care why, but if your trying to make me cringe it sint going to work cuase Dudes just existing and the other man is being a prick.” I stared to countien my stimules while my brother  yelled at the top of his lungs about how much of a waste of human celkls i am. All the wile i say “Cant hear.” BEcuase i had headones on. HE then threw a bad of fucking macarnoine noodles at my face screamed at me more, then tore down my door. 

My door is a blankes naild to the celing. Why? Well it was his room but we switched as i wanted space and hard floors, and he wanted the carpet and door. Oringle door to the room was trown out. The room is now mine. I had to renaile the dlanket to the celing becuase he tore out the fuchikng nailes sevrel goddamn times.

He pushed me to the ground once, becuase we were told to clean up the house before 9, and at 7 i made it clear that the time for fun was over. I gave him one chore to do. SWEEP THE KITCKEN. Etheir he didnt do it, or he’s so icompent of a human being, that he cant acult sweep at all. And i say as I took a broom and made a dirt pile 3x his punny attempt. ANd when I called hoim lazy, we got into an agrumnbt. Then he pushed me to the floor as hard as he could.

HE aloud to call me retardeds, to call me a worthless sluyt, a noody who will doie alone. BUt when i say “You push all your friends and family away because you are such rude, mean, crule, conadsening, bart who sucks joy from even the most exiting games.” Im Teraing at his insercuriets.

He is alowed to joke about not being into incest after i say “Go fuck your self” in a joking way. But when i do, im a pice of shit. HE can randonly yell at me to “SHUT THE FUCK UP! JK” but when i do it, im going to far.

Yes i regoniose tht im no angle, and can be a bitch with words. But there is a differnt between starting fights and not wanting to take any shit. And im done taking his shiot. Im not his fucking sister anymore.

Im tired of holding his, of running back to after he says he sporry fpr being shitty. Im done being his support when he enjoys bruing our bride evrey fucking day. 

I Deseve better, and if i no longer have a brother, then so be it. Fuck him.

I work hard, i do my goddamn best a the mess i am being around other messes. I am doing my best as a perosn who only in recent years has been disoniose properly witrh autism, not BPD Or ADD, Or AHD. I am doing my traviling trough a world that i struggle to understand. And im doing all the while not being a asshole to those around me. I make freinds with evreyone at work, even those who i politalcy dislike. i am friend with the gass station clerks, who i have small talk evreyday with. I am friends with a buch of girls at school, a school that is half a mentle isnation( Burn out and deprassion is a bitch). I befrind random stranger at my workplace, by simpling talking to them and sharing space hearter tips!

I am a mess of a perosn, but that dosnt mean i get  to be an ass. 

So why does my brother think that he gets to? WHy does he think he desebves a free pass becuase our Bio dad was a total shit to him. why does he think he deseve a break after every fight, simply becuase he is also mently ill.

Why is it that in order to be fuckjing happy with my self, i cant be around him.

.....

Why?

[roachemoji]

S2 02-03

Episode 2

LOVE A GOOD STRONG COLD OPEN

The way she navigates this space like she's been here a million times anddoesnt question it or look that afraid of disgusted by anything but is just afraid that .... her friends aren't actually with her???

dawning realization that OH im actually ALONE despite having said goodbye??? like she KNEW but she didnt KNOW and ughHHHGHGH

OH A GATE ??? im glad we get to see her actually leave the UD unlike SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!! im also glad she isnt stuck here for too long AND LEARNS SHE CAN OPEN THEM HERSELF!!!!!!!! unless she already knew that??? this doesnt feel like something she....didn't already understand she could do

also the VFX of like gross nasty flesh shit is REALLY cool

IMMEDIATELY GOING TO THE OLY HOUSE SHE KNEW !!!!! IS JUST AUGHHH i was abotu to say im surprised she didnt try to find Mike after this since Brenner died - FUCKING TED BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE ATTACK

ShEs VeRy DaNgErOuS shes a BABY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF BREAKING THROUGH THAT WALL AND COMING BACK FROM THE UD WASN'T A EUPHAMISM FOR BIRTH IDK WHAT IS SORRY

Also knowing there are more kids than just El from the lab im gonna assume she isn't that woman's daughter??? Ik that woman's sister said she miscarried but im sure that was a cover and her kid actually WAS experiemented on - I just don't think it's El???

HOPPER GETTING TO BE A DAD AGAIN MAKES MY HEART SO FUCKING FULL!!!!! AND EL JUST WANTS TO GO TRICK OR TREATINNGGGGGGGG

Call back to the other Lab kid with the halloween masks or something

JUST LET HER TRICK OR TREATTT even if you did it.... in the woods, with the cabin ??? or in a town they've never been to ???

HES TEACHING HER WORDS AND SPELLING THEM OUT IM CRYING

sucker for a guy adopting a little girl why couldnt that have been ME (<- is a man)

JOYCE ALSO HAVING PTSD FROM EVERYTHING IS JUST GIRL I LOVE YOU KISS KISS KISS

I love that Will being able to draw keeps coming back and him actually being really good at it too???

HIS LITTLE FUCKING COSTUME AND HIS BOWL CUT

DUSTIN'S SMILE IS SO FUCKING INFFECTIOUS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I LITERALLY FEEL CRAZY

LUCAS' LITTLE SISTERRRRR PLEASEEEE

oh the hAUNTING REALIZATION THAT NO ONE ELSE IS IN COSTUME !!!!!!!!!! I JUST AOUSDKAJSHDKJALHDKJH

The balance that this show has with the boys experiencing like actual real genuine trauma that affects them DEEPLY while also still experiencing the mortifying ordeal of being in elementary school ??? AND IT BEING PORTRAYED AS LIKE A KNOW SERIOUSLY UPSETTING TO THEM!!!! Theyre still KIDS and i love that they don't shy away from that with them

LUCAS AND DUSTIN HAVING THEIR LIL BOY CRUSHES ON MAX !!!! AND THEYRE SO RIGHT

idk anything about her but is she trans is she like. like are we clocking this am i the only one?? please i dont know her but in my heart first glance 🫵 egg

JOYCE AND HOPPER GETTING CLOSE BC OF WILL AND THE LAB IS JUST!!! oh i JUst noticed the bracelet i just I KNEW IT WAS COMING I DIDNT KNOW IT WOULD BE SO SOON

WERE THEY BESTIESSS are they gonna fall in love ??? Thats my mom and dad <3

Okay the technitian going in there confuses me because how is.... im assuming there was a time skip to him going outside instead of having to watch him navigate out of the lab's underground but aksdjhakjdsh still

From the time it took between the first dude going in to Joyce and Hopper going in.... ik it's been almost a year since they saved Will, and obviously we didnt see them exiting the lab after it all happened .... idk it feels like an INSANE jump in understanding and testing and safety protocols and shit have gone in to going into the UD with "minimal" gear (@ em does technilogical discrepencies play a part in the timeline stuff? because it feels like it does???)

I really like how they actually portray PTSD and trauma?? Dissociating??? Being Triggered??? how its not a one time thing and affects them continuously??? I hATE the whole pretend like nothing's wrong thing - not for the era this is set in obviously its just infuriating asdkjhaskh LOVE that its clear that it DOES NOT HELP iidk this show and mental health so far feel really good i like it

dUSTIN AND LUCASSS theyre trying so hard i love this for them sosososos mUCh like THEY FEEL LIKE !!! THEyre actual little boys flirting and IM CRYING IM JUST Dustin is so smart and hes so BLINDED BY BEING A LITTLE BOY IN LOVE ( <- DUSTIN'S BIGGEST FAN )

EL'S LITTLE FUCKING CURLLSSSSSSSS

AUTISTICALLY LEARNING HOW TO BE A FUCKING PERSON THROUGH TV SHOWS GIRL ME TOO!!!!!!!

SORRY TO THAT OLD MAN BUT EL IS SO RIGHT - AND THEN TO ALSO FEEL GUILT FROM IT IS SO IMPORTANT LIKE UNDERSTANDING HER NEED FOR SURVIVAL BUT HAVING SO MUCH REMORSE !!!!!!

This is a huge aside but the pumpkins remind me of a one shot story by the people who write Old God's of Appalachia (which you should listen to if you can its incredible) - ANYWAY the episode titled Bumper Crop !!!!!

IM ASSUMING THAT .... the crops dying have something to do with that thing they set up in the UD???

OKAY BILLY.

YEAH HE - oh i can feel him triggering some shit this season might be hard to get through but i am a TROOPER !!!!! with my own trauma GOD brothers suck so much what is his fucking DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!! not excited for that

GODDDD AND NOW THERES MOLDY ASS FOOD AND DYING SHIT THATS UGHHH AND MAGGOTS STOP STOP STOP STO SP EW i love. contamination i love it

BOB i love him so much his stupid vampire costume AND HIS FUCKED UP LIL TEETH AKSHDASKJH IM SORRY YOU DONT GET IT JOHNATHAN

Will's bowl cut makes me loose my mind girl its so SHARP!!!!!!!!!!!! ASDKSAKJHDKSJHD that shit is CRISP

Johnathan is also like. me <3

STEVE AND BILLY JUST LOOKING AT EACH OTHER IS SO FUCKING FUNNY why is Steve's h air so BIGGG girl how do you get it to look like that

BOB IS SO CUTE STOP STOP DO PEOPLE NOT LIKE HIM ??? HES DOING HIS BEST TO REASSURE AND SUPPORT HER AND !!!! LIKE HER SAYING ITS SILLY AND HIM PROMISING ITS NOT !!!!!!

like hE IS SO ??? Bob is THE SILLY !!!!

DUSTIN SUPPORTER <- also loves 3 musketeers

hOPPERRR IS GONNA BE LATE TO PICK UP EL FOR TRICK OR TREATING BABY GIRL IM SO SORRY hes not doing it on purpose he loves you so much he loves you theres just a FREAK in the corn fields

THAT LIL BABY COWBOYYYYYYY <333

YEAH SHITS RIGHT you PROMISED HER !!!

oh baby with the BEAR - i didnt pick up the rest of the morse code but im going to assume he's saying sorry

WAS HE JUST PUTTING ?? WAFFLES OUT THERE HOPING SHE WOULD FIND THEM LIKE HE HAD NO FUCKING IDEA ???

SAD LIL MIKE !!!! he misses El so much but like AKSJDH damn

OHHH OAHDAKJSHD KAHJOHHH i hate when hes thrown back into the UD like this i hate it tos much holy shit it AHHHGHAHDJK

Whats uh whats the uh the parallel between Will and El both yelling for Mike immediately after being thrown into the UD ??

NAD MIKE IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT HESITATION SUPPORTING WILL !!!!!!!!

Johnathan isnt even like a freak hes cleaned up so much he looks so good THE CAMERA FOCUSING ON BOTH NANCY *AND* STEVE

Steve Harrington has the biggest wettest brownest eyes he looks like a fucking baby cow what the acTUAl fuck does he know whats happening is he actually aware of anything I think he'd like to run errands and stick his head out a car window

OH IM ,,,, STEVEEE , I,,, KING I LOVE YOU BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT GETTING HER HOME ACTUALLY

im so glad Johnathan is there and i hope he helps

I could have sword i just saw a parallel about them sitting like this in a later season being compared to Nancy and Johnathan in some scene i havent seen yet

anyway MIKE MAKING WILL FEEL SAFE ENOUGH TO BE HONEST ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCES because Will doesnt make him feel Weird /neg ??? and ASKING WHAT WILL THINKS HIS EXPERIENCES ARE and this being like half thanks to El too ??

To all my House MD homies this feels like its a uh Wilson dating Amber and House being upset about it only to have an epiphany that Wilson is essentially dating the famale verson of him. Feels a lil like that

we can go craZY TOGETHERR !!!!!!!!!!

JOhnathan taking her hoMMEEEEEE still in my little boat of Polyam them i hope thats not niche because i wanna i AN wt to see fanart and I want to read fics and

HOPPER BEING SO !!! STRESSED AND FUCKED UP ABOUT UPSETTING HER AND BREAKING A PROMISE LIKE HE JUST APOLOGIZING AND ,,, GUILT TRIPPING HER TO COME EAT CANDY

Static makes me have auditory halucinations and for some reason Its really cool to see them use it for this purpose

IDKY I THOUGHT WHEN HE'D LOOK UP HE'D BE LOOKING AT WILL !!!!!

DUSTIN PLEASE KEEP BEING THE ONLY SURVIVOR IN A HORROR MOVIE OUGH okay at least it didnt attack him akhd

---

Episode 3

DUSTIN'S MOM AND HER LITTLE CAT COSTUME AND HER LITTLE CAT SHE LOVES HER SON SO MUCH SHES GOD

Dustin i love you so much buddy but YOU GOT A LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!! oh thats me i look like that nvm i get it good night sweet little weirdo

3 musketeers enjoyer !!!! THATS gonna grow up to KILL someone real Water Horse over here!!! ALSO KING YOUR TURTLE???? YURTLE IS JUST OUT THERE HES GONNA GET COLD?????

IM SO GLAD WE GET TO SEE HOW HIM AND EL GOT TO BE WHAT THEY ARE !! LIKE !!! what the fuck posessed him to like start putting waffles in a BOX in the woods like AKSDJHALKJDH Im sorry but what if it wasnt El who took it ????

El being.... I don't know what term to use i understand that nonverbal isn't uh... accurate? I haven't seen anyone offering up another term in it's place so if you know one please let me know - but El being less verbal? Is important to me

IM SORRY SHE EXPLODED YOUR BREAKFAST THOUGH

THE BOBMOBILE!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE BOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DUSTIN IS SO UGH. HE LOVES LEARNING !!! HES SO FUCKING FUNNY also him SWEARING i love him so much i cant even put it into words

MR BALDO!!!!!

I love bob i love him so much if he does something bad or it turns out hes terrible im going to commit homicide (on the duffer brothers) HE IS SO ? LIKE WITH WILL ??? WITH JOYCE??? HES THE SILLY AND I LOVE HIM

OO HASDKHAS @aemiron-main SORRY IM TAGGING YOU FOR THIS PART LUCAS EXPLAINING TO MAX THAT THE BODY THEY FOUND WAS SUPER DECOMPOSED THE ONE THAT IN SEASON ONE WAS A FAKE BODY OF WILLS AND IK YOU MENTIONED THAT THE NEWSPAPER BEHIND HOPPER'S HEAD SAID THAT HE WAS TAKEN BY THE LAB OR SOMETHING I CAN'T REMEMBER VERBATIM - IS HE LYING TO HER BECAUSE HE KNOWS THE FAKE BODY THING SOUNDS INSANE OR IS THAT TRUE IN THIS TL??? HE EVEN KEEPS GOING TO EXPLAIN YOU CAN ASK ANYONE BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT PEOPLE SAW THE BODY AND KNEW IT WAS "WILL" EXCEPT FOR JOYCE AND HOPPER - SO WHO DIED. WHO DIED IN THIS TL. WHO WAS THE KID

the PROJECTOR bringing me back

DUSTIN MY BELOVED HIS FUCKING SMILE EVERY TIME

I CALLED IT ABOUT THE FUCKING LAB ITS DEFENITELY BC THEY HAVE SHIT SET UP AROUND IT!!!!!!

Hopper's plan being this all along ??? to like. help her? to make her feel safe? give her a home? LIKE HES. hes such a DAD IM GONNA CRY - who told him about the waffles i remember Mike mentioning it but i don't remember him mentioning it to Hopper????

girlie at least CLOSE THE DOOR B EHIND YOU ????

BILLY I S A HIGH SCH OO LER I THOUGHT HE WAS LIKE 25 LMAOO OASHKJAHLDKJAHSD

STEVE'S FREAK ASS HAIR !!!!

Thats your other boyfriend it could be. it should be. you could all date you couLd all be happy together i think

STEVE I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED HARRINGTON

AT least this feels far more justified in why he'd upset with her this time around ?? instead of his freak ass friends being disgusting

DUSTIN IS SO SMART !!!!! HIS LEVEL OF RESEARCH!!!!! HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY

IM SORRY THAT DART IS A VOMIT SLUG

BOB APOLOGIZING FOR POSSIBLY OVERSTEPPING LIKE I JUST HES SO GOOD HES SO I SWEAR TO GOD IF HES BAD IM GONNA ACTUALLY LOSE MY MIND OR IF HE GETS HURT???

JOYCEEEEEEEEE !!!! MY MOM !!!!! LIKE BOB JUST. HES SO WORRIED HE CARES SO MUCH AND HE LOVES HOW STRONG JOYCE IS AND BALANCES HER OUT WITH HIS UNDERSTANDING OF WILL I

I need you to tell me right now if Bob is Bad and Evil i need to GRIEVE IMMEDIATELY

RE THE PARALLELL FROM EARLIER WITH MIKE N WILL

JOHNATHAN JUST TRYING TO SET THINGS RIGHT AND LYING ON STEVES BEHALF AND NANCY LIED ON STEVES BEHALF WITH THE PRESENT I JUST KNOW SHE DID LIKE YA KAHSDKH ALKDJHA LKFHAKSJHL

Maybe things cant go back to the way they were THANK YOU YOURE RIGHT THATS HOW YOU MOVE FORWARD !!!!

if this is a different TL does that mean Barb is alive is barb alive in this one does she come back !!!!

OKAY IK HOPPER IS PROBABLY LYING ABOUT EL'S MOM BEING DEAD BUT IDK MAYBE HES NOT MAYBE HE THINKS THAT THAT WOMAN WAS HER MOM AND IN THIS TL SHES DEAD ???? trying to keep track of so much conflicting infoRMATION BC OF TIMELINE SHIT IM ON MY TOES

EVERYTIME JOYCE INTERACTS WITH TECHNOLOGY IM CONVINCED ITS GONNA FUCKING EXPLODE OR SOMETHING

agAIN WITH WILL FEELING SAFE ENOUGH TO TELL MIKE ABOUT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE UD and asking him to relay everything to the other two just in case???

D'ART IS AUAKSDHAKJDH BEEFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dusTIN MY BOY IK YOU LOVE THE LITTLE FREAK BUT PLEASE is that a baby EggHeadMouthFreak i remember what its called i promise i defenitely do

the SUSPECSE of Nancy going to tell Barb's mom everything has me on edge i keep pausing

I JUST GOT CONSUMED WITH EL TRYING TO FIND MIC AND HOPPER AND THE PUMPKINS AND SKDFHJSKDJHF

MIKE fuCKING hating Max because Ougadhhkjs wOm a nnn but not the ONLY girl that he wants around him which god im not smart enough to deconstruct internalized homophobia and compulsary heterosexuality rn EVEN MORE WITH EL SHOWING UP AND DOING THAT TO MAX its beyond me how people ROOT for her and Mike when its.... so clear its little kids figuring themselves out and not like.... anything actually romantic. SERIOUS? yeah - huge thing learning about yourself like this but an actual Relationship????

WILL BABY BOY im so sorry yOU WENT THROUGH A DOOR AGAIN THE AUGH hates and portals and doors and shit - THE AKSDHAKJSDHAKSJD NOT THE FUCKING SMOKE MONSTER FROM LOST STOPPPP

the way D'art moves is s ofucking FUNNNYYYYYY

WILL REMEMBER WHAT BOB SAID PLEAS PLEASE PLEASE HES DOING HIS BEST HES JUST TRYING TO HELP AND WILL !!! JUST PLEASE TRYING TO STAND UP TO HI M AND OH -

Stranger Things S2 01

this is just me live blogging watching ST none of my thoughts are v coherent enjoy <3

STARTING OFF REAL INTERESTING BUT REAL TALK when you have like a cool haircut how do you expect not to be found if u do a crime???? LIKE I LOVE YOUR MOHAWK AND I GET IT U DONT WANT TO COVER IT BC OBVIOUSLY BUT!!!!

this is NOT the focus obviously its about the fact theres other kids from the lab BUT AKSHDAKSJDKH

DUSTINNNN!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM SO GLAD WE'RE STARTING ON HIM KISS KISS KISS

not the reagan sign STOP STOP ITS BEEN 2 SECONDS I HATE TED THATS HIS NAME RIGHT FIGHT KILL DESTROY BITE BITE BITE BITE

also the boys have grown SO MUCH !!!!!!! i forget there was actual real time between when these were filmed KSJHD im so excited to see Will and his perpetual bowl cut

JOYCE MY MOM!!!!!!!!!! SHES SO PRETTY AND SO CONCERNED I JUST LOVE HER

THE CHIP EATING DUDE FUCKING !!!! REMINDS ME OF THAT FUCKER FROM MONSTER HOUSE???????

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE REMINDS ME OF THIS ASKJDHASKJHDKAJSH

Will is so tiny ..... and little? oh hes being teleported into the fucking upside down again baby boy im so fucking sorry also ilu but why would you just walk outside away from wher eyour friends WERE to look at the horrifying shit world you were trapped and almost died in ????? aSDKJH

Im gonna have to DM you on discord or something so i can properly save all the things you have to say about the timelines and how the Russian shit plays into that because was anyone calling El (im assuming he's referring to her) is Russian??? IK this is possibly the third (?) timeline we've seen (genuinely let me know if i can do that its ok if not i forget tumblr has Dms)

ALSO WHO IS THIS GUY IM CRYING HES!!! WHAT A PI??? WHO ARE YOU

NANCY AND STEVE ALSO BESTIES IM CRYING STEVE IS hes trying so hard are they dating my brain is so full of queer shit that im so deadset on platonic hetero relationships - i paused for one second and unpaused and they kissed SO THAT ANSWERS MY QUESTION

idk what relationships to pay more attention to bc the dynamic between Mike and El interests me the most because of how compulsory everything feels and how El is going to navigate a completetly new environment and how Mike will cope with that? (im assuming its not well)

OH is this the !!! the guy that i see people talk about all the time YEAHHH THE BLOND MULLET MAN AND MAX what the fuck is his name Billy??? He looks trans

CRYING AT CHECKING OUT H IS ASS GIRL WAHT ASS HES FLAT HE HAS NOTH ING AKDSHASKHDKAJSH and those jeans are supposed to be supporting cheeks

I love Mr Clark so much and everyone who looks bored in his class just doesnt GET IT

BUT ALSO MAX I GET IT QUEEN the boys all staring are so good I FORGET THEY GO AS THE GHOST BUSTERS FOR HALLOWEEN

JOYCE MY MOM WHO IS THIS GUY HES??? GOOFY AND SHES SO HAPPY ??? BOB !!! i have no initial bad opinions of him bc hes silly and goofy and he makes Joyce so happy and she deserves to be SO SOSOS OS HAPPY and nothing but happy

IF i have to endure another god damn Hopper flash back im gonna throw up and scream and cry and lose my mind and I won't recover and I'll never come back

Im in call while I watch this episode because i really wanted to get through while and actually use my brain bc i don't that often - but my roommates bird is sitting next to her mic and farting really really softly into it and its making me lose my fucking mind

CORN MAZES WHEN YOURE TALL LOOK SO EASY AND LESS SCARY WHENEVER IM IN A FUCKING CORN MAZE ITS TERRIFYING AND I CANT SEE SHIT BC IM LIKE 2 FEET TALL

NANCCYCYY AND JOHNANATHANANSDNSAKDJ BESTIES BESTIES BESTIES BEST FRIENDS IM MAKING THEM A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET ITS THEIR FAVORITE COLOURS AND THEY NEVER TAKE THEM OFF

ADN STEVE TOO!!! IM SORRY YOURE A THIRD WHEEL BUT its the start of season 2 how do we feel about polyam relationships between them where the audience for that point me in the correct direction

DUSTIN IS RIGHT ALSO I LOVE HIM i love his little hats - MAX IS ALSO RIGHT

God i feel so ba for Will like to be??? singled out like that especially in elementary school? hell.

WHERE ARE THEY GOING TOGETHER WHAT IS HAPPENING ISNT THIS THE LAB ??? ougHHH THAt needle sound was unecessary

REALLY starting to see how this might be a different timelinei have no idea how ???? Joyce would.... trust them??? UNLESS THIS IS A HOSPITAL no its not ho films ina fucking hospital like this

also theyre mentioning the upside down

I understand needing to go back to the only place that fully understands that it exists and you need a place to talk to someone and also monitor him physically without being dismissed as insane - but i dont understand how Joyce OR Hopper would trust the Lab again after everything happened??????

I'm glad that he's actually getting help, and im glad that Joyce and Hopper are there to make him feel safe and support him given everything but !!!!!

this iS THE. He has PTSD. when did they get the word to describe that akjhaskjdh NVM HE JUST SAID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO IS PRETENDING LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL HELPFUL BC IT SURE THE FUCK IS N OT FOR ME ????????? also who is this DR hes kinder but "i need you to trust me" to JOYCE AFTER THE BRENNER SHIT ???

also them NOT MENTIONING IT WHEN THEY LEAVE BUT JOYCE UPSET ABOUT THE WHOLE "i need you to trust me" THING B UT NOT BRINIGN UP BRENNER?????? susususususus timeline shit anyway EM @ me tell me wahts up kiss kiss mwuah mwuah

OH they've upped their guinea pig game on entering the upside down and the gatelooks fucking uglier and uglier LOVE THE TORCH glad it works but no wonder the gate looks angry???

DUSTINNN I LOVE H IM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

ough i have a feeling her older brother is gonna ..... trigger me a lil but we'll get through it

THEM BOTH HAVING A CRUSH ON HER!!!!!

If YouR fRiEnD jUmPs OfF a ClIfF 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

THEYRE GOING OVER TO HAVE DINNER WITH BARBS FAMILY STOP STOP STO PST OPST OPST IM GONNA CRY Oh they hired a P.I okay yeah the bald guy he..... HIS CARD STOPPPPP

realizing they defenitely can't tell her parent's what actually happened to her an di hate that im gonna oaufkahd girl im so sorry im so sorry im so osrry UPSET BC SHE AS A CHARACTER DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE I WISH THEY HADN'T DONE HER DIRTY LIKE THAT

all the photos of her would make me so ill to look at like god NANCYYY THE GUILT AND B LAME GIRLIEEEE

also Mike rebelling after experiencing that kind of trauma and losing Will and El even though Will came back he's not the same of corse he's struggling - calling it with the !!!! WALKIE TALKIEEEE girl i miss her too

YEAHHH ITS dustiNNNN BUT HE AKSHDKAJSH

DUSTINNN IM KAHSDKJH I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HES SO SILLY !!!!!!!!!!!!! HES THE SILLY IN MY HEART

HONESTLY props to him again for not like invesigating something that was probably gonna be HORRIBLE he'd survive a horror movie

JOYCEEEEE IN MY FAV SHIRT SHES SO KISS KISS KISS KISS

Johnathan is such a good brother bro BUT ALSO WILL IS SO RIGHT I GET IT I GET IT I UNDERSTAND TREATING IT LIKE ITS NORMAL MAKES IT WORSE !!!! SOMETHING HAPPENED PLEASE ACKNOWLEGE THAT and JOHANATHANNN HES THE FREAK AND A WEIRDO

STOPA SDADKSHJ iT S THAT WHY YOU DONT HAVE ANY FRINEDS SHUT UP STOP STOP /POS

BOB i love you so far and ik that being a step parent in these situation (even tho hes only dating Joyce its the same) is so hard especially when there are kids involved BUT YOURE DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB

AND THEYRE ALL WATCHING THE MOVIE TOGETHER AHHH

ew the phone the trigger GIRL YOU GOT THIS ITS OKAY ITS OKAY BUT ALSO THATS SUCH A HORRENDOUS RINGTONE WHAT THE FUCK

love me a tech who accidentally ignores the alarms going off (i couldnt hear the song playing it feels important - unintentially placing importance on all the music in this show now thank u em)

OohuaAHDAKJH OH WILL IS GONNA get ,,,,, yoinked back again isn't he ouguhadhAKHDJS interesting that it really only affects the *outside* like doors are now portals in a way ? i cant remember if it affected the inside of the arcade immediately or not

OH MIST LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wood Waffle Hours !!!!!!!!!! OH NO CABIN HOURS??? IS SHE. IS SHE. BIG EYE BALL EMOJIS LET ME SEE MY GIRL LET ME SEE THE BABY GIRL !!!! this entire scene makes it seem like shes a fucking AKSJDHA freak ass creature

HER HAIRRRRR SHES SO CUTE STOPPPP HOPPERS LITTLE SMILE IM TEARING UP AND CRYING ACTUALLY LOOK AT THEM LOOK AT THEM LOOKA T THEM OUGHHAHAHHHHHHHH IM HEAVING

thank u for reading these were my thoughts

[hangezoeenthusiast]

Minecraft

m!reader

pronouns:he/him

fluff

person: sapnap (im not going to use his real name, since he is uncomfy with people using it)

words: 1530

warnings: cursing, yelling

you were at sapnap's house on his bed, watching him stream and play minecraft. he was trying to speedrun minecraft. "hey babe, what'cha doing?" he asked. "just watching you." you replied.

"you wanna come over here?"

"but what about the face cam."

"chat could give less of a shit, or i too."

"ok then babe, let me just get some water."

you went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, then went back to the room. you grabbed one of sapnap's extra chairs and sat next to him. "hey chat, how you doing." chat spammed y/n so many times, you could barely see anything else in there.

"hey my boyfriend, how you doing." a dono said

"im doing good y/nismyboyfriend, good name btw, how are you?"

"heyyyy, your MY boyfriend." sapnap whined. "it's ok baby, im yours and your mine." chat spammed simp, then sapnap buried his head in your heck. "y/nn, make chat stop bullying me." "chat stop bullying my WONDERFUL boyfriend." you emphasized.

after that little situation, you just sat in your chair, zoned out, and just watched. "babe, hey babe, baby are you ok?" sapnap asked. you jumped at the sound of his voice, "sorry, i zoned out, what were you saying." "damn, im not that important to you then that you zoned out." sapnap pouted. "oh shut up you big baby."

"excuse me, don't make me fight you bitch." "sapnap, do you realize i took karate as a kid right?" "that was years ago." "so sapnap, i can still beat your ass with a blindfold." he looked shocked and amazed at the same time. "ok then." he said shyly.

you looked content (like this face 😏), "so what you needed sapnap?' "oh yeahhh, do you want to play minecraft on here?" you were absolutely shit at minecraft, you already tried once, you weren't going to try again. (flashback to the conversation you had with sapnap the first time you ever played minecraft)

"sapnap, how do you move on this thing, this is so complicated" "it's just because your a boomer y/nnn, here, its wasd." "EXCUSE ME SIR IM NOT A BOOMER, APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW." "NO I WON'T APOLOGIZE, YOU APOLOGIZE." "WHY DO I HAVE TO SAY SORRY, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WRONGED ME." "AHHHHHH" you guys are so weird :/ /j

"no, im not, im shit at it, you made fun of me plenty of times, no, no times infinity." "come on baby, that was what, like 1 time." "YEAH, ONE TIME TO MANY." "pwease, for me." he whispered. you looked at his pouty face and didn't crack (MOMMA DIDNT RAISE NO SOFTY /j). "ok then, but the second you make fun of me, i will beat you up so bad that-" sapnap interrupted you, "THANK YOU SO MUCH BABE, but i wont guarantee that i won't make fun of you." he got up, put you in his chair, and standed behind you. "now y/n, the last time you played, you sucked absolute balls, so NOW i will guide you through everything, yaknow, be your sensei." you made a straight face, and looked behind you, seeing him look at you as well.

you had a staring contest. both eyes were locked, eyes squinting, trying to withstand the others. his blinked first, "YES I WON, WHAT'CHA GONNA DO SNAPCHAT, WHAT'CHA GONNA DO?"

"just forget everything that happened in the last 10 seconds, let's do this thing." he guided you towards everything, like moving around, crafting, fighting zombies and skeletons, and even breaking blocks. you were doing fairly well, but there was one, no two, no three things you absolutely sucked shit at that you HAD to master. one was mlg watering, two was building a nether portal, and the last was fighting the ender dragon.

you goal was to beat the game and make new records ;), well, you did, but not without some challenges.

1. mlg water

you crafted a bucket and went to the nearest river/sea. you filled up the water bucket. "hey sapnap, what do we do next?" "next, my darling y/n, we shalt try to mlg." "so what do we do?" "we first, tower up." you pulled out your stacks of blocks, and stacked all the way up to the sky. "so what do i do next?"

"so pull out your water bucket, and then when you almost hit the ground, place the water on you." you jumped of the tower, and failed mlg. it was so ridiculously bad, that goddamn satan wouldn't let you in hell for that little stunt. "NOOO, WHAT THE FUCK, I PLACED IT BELOW ME." "You didn't do it good enough." "SHUT THE FUCK UP SAPNAP."

2. nether portal

obviously if you failed mlg, you would SUCK at making nether portals. "since you fucking sucked at mlg, lets try making a nether portal, it's kinda easier, but still hard. so what you do is make that shape there" "oh no, do it there." "nooo y/n, you're doing it wrong, do it that way."

you made a nether portal, but you obviously messed up, there was cobblestone everywhere. you pickaxed it, but that didn't come with a good thing. "NOOOO, FUCK, WHY WAS THERE LAVA." yeah, that's right, under the cobblestone was lava, and you fell in it, barely salvaging any of your items. well that attempt went horribly

3. ender dragon

after getting to the nether, getting blaze rods and converting them into blaze powder, trading with hoglins to get ender pearls, not having enough ender pearls from the hoglins, killing endermen and dying from them while getting ender pearls, crafting eye of enders, finding the stronghold, placing the eye of enders in the stronghold frame, while dying along the way, you finally got into the end.

finally all this suffering and mocking from sapnap would end, and you would finally beat the game. but, obviously, with you having little to no minecraft skills, it came with A BUNCH of problems, like destroying the crystals, making sure you wouldn't anger endermen, avoiding the dragon of dealing damage to you, and flying into the void.

1. destroying the crystals

sapnap ordered you, "use your bow to destroy the crystals." you aren't and weren't no minecraft god, so you couldn't destroy all the crystals, but you did one of them tho 👍

so he gave you another try, to use blocks to climb the side of the pillars, and destroy the crystals that way. you died, to put it shortly and bluntly. "AHHHH," you screamed. you got exploded by the crystals. that happened with EVERY. SINGLE. CRYSTAL you happened to try to destroy.

but eventually, you destroyed all the crystals.

2. endermen

after you destroyed the crystals, you had the task off not angering the endermen by eye contact. that went horribly wrong. sapnap had the courage to tell you that you couldn't look them in the eyes, and that you would anger them if you would. "WHY ARE THEY CHASING ME," you shouted. "y/nn calm down, just kill the ones that are angry at you."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ALMOST ALL OF THEM ARE CHASING ME." you overaggerated. "no, it's almost 3 dude, just kill them."

you killed them, and then you had the task of the dragon.

3. the dragon dealing damage

sapnap took control of shooting the dragon in the air with the bow and arrows. when the dragon would come down to the middle, you would hit their head (im doing the enderdragon as nonbinary, yaknow, they are a lesbian, nonbinary lesbians are vaild :D).

4. the void

the last thing you had trouble with in the end was the void. the darkless pit that leads to nothing except death. the dragon was throwing you around like a little puppet, you doing nothing except being flung around the place. "FUCK, FUCK YOU DRAGON," you screeched. the dragon was getting on your last nerve.

after all the trouble,and death, you finally beat the dragon. "YESSS, YESS, FUCK YOUR DRAGON, SUCK ON MY 10 IINCH DICK." sapnap cheered you on through your little victory speech. "bye chat, imma stop streaming now, since it has been 6 hours, we need to go to sleep." "bye, chat, love you guys."

you and sapnap ended the stream, feeling exhausted. you went to do your skin care routine, and found sapnap waiting for you in bed. "how was the stream y/n, did you enjoy it?" "yeah, i enjoyed it, only the dying part i hated."

"it's ok, babe, we can try it another time, maybe next time you won't die as much, at least you made a new record."

"what record sap?"

"the record of dying the most in minecraft." you slapped him around his head, not finding his joke funny. "hey, don't hit me, i'm fragile."

"sorry you big baby." you responded. you both got under the blanket, and snuggled (i don't know why, but the word snuggled is enchanting), huddling together, and basking in each others warmth. even if you died 4,234 times in minecraft, at least you had your favorite person at your side while doing it.

[ssamie]

seven. do a flip!

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, u have langa’s blue hair sorry 

gen masterlist.            “snow” masterlist.

"haha yeah, im with the others right now" reki said to the phone as he wiped a table clean. 

"really? are you at S?" y/n asked from the other line 

"oh no, we're at joe's restaurant." reki replied with a laugh "everyone's eating right now." he then covered the phone with his hand and sent them a nasty glare "everyone but me.. " he grumbled bitterly 

miya stuck his tongue out at the redhead and tauntingly bit into a piece of steak. "not our fault its your shift right now" he said. reki playfully rolled his eyes and brought the phone back against his ear. "anyways, y/n what're you up to?" he asked 

"i remember you mentioned joining a club right?" he said. "is it one for skating?! i didnt know schools even had those!" 

from the other line, y/n chuckled sheepishly. "ah no.. its a club for volleyball" she said "although im just a manager" 

reki furrowed his brows in confusion "volleyball? i didn't expect that" he said 

"me too reki. but it's really fun! if you ever come here we can try playing with my friends" she said excitedly 

"sure! im actually coming th-" before reki could finish his sentence, joe quickly covered his mouth and snatched the phone. "hey rookie!" joe greeted with a laugh "little reki here is busy at the moment but why don't ya chat with me?" he mused 

"oh, hi joe." she greeted him "why is reki busy? i thought you were just eating?" 

"ah well-" 

"are you lying? does reki not wanna talk to me? is he with someone else? or did something else happen?" she bombarded him with a chain of questions 

joe sweat dropped and looked over to the rest for help. "ah no, none of that happened, rookie" he reassured her "reki here is helping me out in the restaurant so he's a bit occupied" he explained 

"oh.." y/n mumbled in response "okay then" 

"dont spoil it, you slime!" miya scolded him "our visit is supposed to be a surprise!" 

"i was just excited!" reki defended himself with a huff "whatever, dude! y/n's gonna think i don't wanna visit her" he said 

"then make it up to her when you get there" shadow said as he ate . "good idea, old man shadow!" reki exclaimed "i'll do just that, but for now let me talk to her again-" 

before reki could reach for the phone, miya has already sprung up and snatched it. "y/n~" he cooed with a smug cat-like grin "how's it going?" he asked as he clawed reki's prying hands away 

"oh hi miya!" she greeted him cheerfully "everything is fine. though i miss you and everyone else" she said 

miya smiled in delight and his face exploded into a bright red hue. "you miss me?!" he asked excitedly. he then cleared his throat and scoffed. "how cute. you like me or something?" he said 

reki, along with the others watch with a deadpanned expression as miya shyly fiddles with his hoodie with a blush, although his tone of voice seems quite different. 

"of course i like you" y/n said 

miya splutters and throws the phone at reki's direction. "take it! i'm done here!" he shrieks as he turns his back at them and slaps his red face repeatedly. 

"you're my friend. why would i hate you?" she continued, although he wasn't there to hear it anymore. 

"hi y/n" reki said 

"hi!" she shrieked, followed by a loud thud, as if she had fallen. 

"hey, sorry about earlier! we can talk now if you want" he said with a chuckle 

"oh sure! lets--" 

reki's brows furrowed in confusion as the call suddenly disconnected mid-sentence. "hello?" he called out 

"huh? she hung up!" he exclaimed. "maybe she didn't want to talk to you" miya teased him. reki faced him with a look of distraught. "you think so?" he asked in panic 

"dude" miya sweat dropped "of course not. its y/n we're talking about" 

"REKI!" y/n shrieked out as she reached for the phone that was snatched out of her hands "why'd you take it?!" she exclaimed as she tried to reach for the device 

the class sweat dropped as they watched her try to reach for the phone in the teacher's hands

"i don't know who reki is, but you can't use your phone. classes are about to start" he said 

"but-- but i was on a call with reki.." she sulked 

"you can call each other after class." the teacher sighed. "i won't take your phone since its your first time doing this, but let it be the last please" 

"okay.." y/n replied as she took the phone from him "i won't call during class. sorry." she said as she bowed her head 

"good. anyways-" the teacher cut himself off as he caught sight of her hunched over and rigorously typing on her phone. "hasegawa y/n! you can't text either!" the teacher scolded her 

"but i'm not making any noise.." she reasoned with a confused tilt of her head 

"it doesn't matter. you have to stop or i'll take away that phone." the teacher said. he then narrowed his eyes threateningly and said, "along with that skateboard of yours" 

the whole class sweat dropped as they watched y/n shudder in fear and quietly place the phone into her bag 

"sorry." she muttered as she placed her hands on the desk and tensely kept her eyes on the blackboard. "apology accepted." the teacher said. "anyways, let's start.." 

oikawa side eyed her, watching as her eyes and hands twitch , as if she was itching to pull her phone out again. the brunette leaned over iwaizumi, who groaned in annoyance, and poked her shoulder 

"yahoo, y/n-chan~" he whispered quietly 

"oikawa-san, please go away. if i make noise he'll take my phone and my board." she said 

oikawa frowned and poked her again. "don't be so cold to me, y/n-chan~" he cooed "i just wanted to ask you to join me for lunch later." he said. "lunch?" y/n hummed. "yup. let's do something fun together" he replied. 

"okay, oikawa-san" she agreed with a curt nod. "i'll join you" 

"hasegawa." the teacher called on her. y/n jumped and shakily faced the man. "yes?" she replied. "answer the question on the board." the teacher said 

"i can't!" she quickly denied. 

"why not?" the teacher said with a sigh "this is english class. you're from canada right? all im asking is for you to say something in english." 

"sorry!" she replied in english. "please don't take my phone and my skateboard away." 

"good job." the teacher gave her a nod before moving on 

"sorry" oikawa chuckled sheepishly "lunch later, okay?" he cooed. y/n simply nodded and gave him a thumbs up, refusing to speak a word. 

"shut the fuck up, shittykawa." iwaizumi grunted as he pushed the brunette away. "you're causing everyone problems" 

"ow! just for that, you're not invited to our lunch" oikawa said, to which iwaizumi simply replied with an eye roll 

"you didn't even plan on inviting me anyways, didn't you?" iwaizumi huffed

"duh!" 

"so why did you want to have lunch together, oikawa-san?" she asked him

"i see" y/n hummed. "im glad you enjoy my company, oikawa-san" she grinned

"no reason~" he cooed in response. "i just wanted to be alone with you, that's all" he said

oikawa nodded along as he transferred some food from his bento onto hers. it was placed on top of her board as she lightly rolls it around. "tell me about that reki guy, will you?" oikawa said with a curious hum. "i always hear you talking about him.." 

y/n peered up at him with a look of confusion, but nodded nonetheless. "i don't know why you'd like to know about him but okay.." 

"reki is my best friend. i met him when i moved to okinawa with my mom. he was my first ever friend and he was the one that taught me how to skate" she explained 

oikawa watched as a fond smile lightly grazed her lips, followed by a distinctive glimmer in her eyes. 

"reki is really amazing. i admire him a lot." she muttered 

"i see." oikawa hummed. "i'll love to meet him one day" he said. y/n perked up at the statement. "really?" she asked "don't worry, if you ever met him you'll get along just fine! reki is very friendly" she said with a smile 

oikawa simply nodded and quietly ate his food. she did the same, and they both sat in silence. "hey, y/n" oikawa muttered "you really like skating huh?" he mused 

"oh well... yeah, i guess so" she said. "can you teach me how?" oikawa asked with a cheeky grin. "teach you..?" she cocked her head to the side. "why?" 

"no reason." oikawa huffed "but will you do it?" 

"sure!" 

"put your foot here, and push with the other" she demonstrated as she explained. "then you just have to keep your balance" 

oikawa watched with calculating eyes, nodding along from time to time as he listened. "usually, tricks should come later on when you've already mastered the basics. but it was pretty easy for me, so maybe you can do it too, oikawa-san" she said 

"that was an ollie. reki said that if you got that down, you'll be able to do other tricks." she said. "it should be easy enough to learn" she grinned "just watch videos like i did!" 

she did an ollie and skated closer to him. 

oikawa sweat dropped and timidly placed his foot on the skateboard. "i don't think it'll be that easy, y/n-chan" he chuckled 

"yo, what the hell are you two doing?" 

they both looked back to see hanamaki, matsukawa, and iwaizumi walking towards them. hanamaki laughed and pointed at oikawa "are you learning how to skate?" he snickered 

"do a flip!" matsukawa hollered 

"i can't do a flip yet!" oikawa exclaimed "and don't laugh at me. you're probably no better than i am" he rolled his eyes. "but y/n-chan could probably do it" he said

"oh y/n?" matsukawa mused. "can you enlighten us with your skating?" he snickered 

"you always carry that around but we've never actually seen you skate" hanamaki chimed in 

y/n blinked at them and looked down at her board. "i guess i can do that" she said "but we'll need a bigger space than the grounds" she said as she motioned to the outside of the gym, where they were standing

"something like..." she trailed off as she looked around the area "like the roof?" she muttered 

the boys sweat drop and look at her in concern and confusion. "the roof?" they simultaneously asked 

"yeah. i'll jump and do a flip like you asked." she said with a shrug as she makes her way to the stairway leading to the rooftop 

"hey hey! hold on!" matsukawa interjected "are you trying to kill yourself?!" he exclaimed 

"no im trying to jump off the roof and do a flip." she shook her head 

"exactly! it's the same thing!" hanamaki shrieked out "you'll die!" 

"i won't die" she reassured them, thought it did not work in the slightest. "i've done this numerous times." she smiled at them 

"is that supposed to be comforting?" iwaizumi sighed and rubbed his temples in distress. "shittykawa. do something about this" iwaizumi said as he sent oikawa a glare 

"ahaha, right right" oikawa chuckled sheepishly. he then turned to face y/n, only to be met with thin air. "y/n.." he muttered "where is she.." he spluttered and looked up, eyes widening as he spotted her on the rooftop preparing to jump off "hey! y/n-chan get down! this feels like a crime scene in the making!" he rambled as he tried to persuade her to come down 

"oikawa-san, please watch carefully!" she yelled 

"no way! get down here right now!" oikawa yelled back at her 

"jump down?!" she yelled "okay! im gonna do it now!" 

oikawa paled as he shook his head and made an x with his arms "no! i said get down! but use the stairs! don't jump!" 

she simply ignored him and jumped anyways, much to the boys' horror. "this feels nostalgic" she muttered to herself with a smile as the wind made her hair fly around 

she spun around and grinned as the adrenaline started to make her heart pound. she placed her hand on top of her chest and kept her eyes ahead, although her mind was wandering back to her moments back in s

"holy shit" oikawa muttered as they watched her maneuver through the air as if it was no big deal 

"y/n is fucking amazing" he blinked his widened eyes and watched in bewilderment as she lands on the ground with a loud thud, followed by the mild screeching of the wheels against the concrete. 

"oikawa-san, this is called 'siderail slide' miya taught it to me." she said as she kicked her board around and let it land on its side by the edges of the concrete 

(WAIT IDK IF THAT'S THE NAME LMAO I MADE THAT UP I TRIED TO LOOK IT UP BUT I CAN'T FIND WHAT IT'S CALED SORRY CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG PLS LOL) 

her feet landed on the side of the deck as she maneuvers her way around to turn. "stop explaining and get back here!" iwaizumi scolded her "are we going to let the fact that you jumped off a roof slide just like that?!" 

"and this is a kick flip." she said as she ignored iwaizumi and did the trick as told. "it should be easy enough to do if you know how to ollie." she said 

"hey, what's going on here?!" 

her eyes widened as she heard the same teacher's voice and desperately tried to halt her movement. although she wasn't fast enough and she was now frantically ushering the man to move away 

"ah! sensei! move! im gonna hit you!" she shrieked as she tried wobbled around 

"what the-- hasegawa-san you shouldn't--" 

he couldn't finish his words as her board suddenly got dangerously close to his face. the whirring wheels and the snow monster design almost slapping him right then and there. 

"SORRY!" she shrieked as she jumped over him and fell on the ground, rolling around, along with her board until she hit a wall nearby 

"y/n-chan! are you okay?!" oikawa shrieked in distress as he pushed the man away and sprinted to the girl. "im okay, oikawa-san" she said with a wince 

"but my butt hurts from that fall" she pouted "and my hand-- BLOOD!" she shrieked in fear. she holds the bleeding hand away from her as her expression turns into dread. "wipe it off.." she gagged as she looked at it in horror

"this is what bothers you the most out of everything that's happened?!" oikawa sighed in exasperation, though he did as he was told. 

"i don't like blood." she shuddered. "broken bones are what im used to" 

"im starting to worry for your well being if broken bones is something you consider 'the usual'." oikawa sweatdropped

behind them, the teacher glared and held his hand out expectantly. "i was wondering what the screaming was about." he said "but i didn't expect to walk in on whatever that was" 

"give me the skateboard, hasegawa-san." he demanded, making her whole body go ghostly pale 

"no uh.. i'll take detention instead" she bargained with a sheepish smile. "nope. give me the skateboard." the teacher shook his head as he went to grab the deck 

"NO! you can't take that!" she panicked and quickly grasped the other end "i can't skate without it!" she exclaimed 

"exactly." the teacher said. "you need to learn your lesson." 

"but -- but reki made that! i can't lose it! what if it breaks?!" she shrieked, now starting to gradually get more desperate 

"its not gonna break. and i don't know who this reki boy is, but you have to stop including him in everything." the teacher sweat dropped "and let go of the damn skateboard, kid. im not gonna throw it away, im just confiscating it" 

she shook her head as she peered up at him with exaggeratedly teary eyes, each looking like a pool of water waiting to just overflow. 

"will i get it back tomorrow?" 

"no." 

"then im not giving it!" 

"kid, cmon. your making this job harder for me" the man sighed in exasperation ."just give it." he said as he pulled it away from her and walked away. "hope you learned your lesson, kid. you'll get this back soon enough" 

y/n watched his retreating figure with a deadpanned look. she slowly faced oikawa and grabbed his hand. "should i break into his office and steal it?" 

oikawa sweat dropped and shook his head. "you shouldn't. you'll get into more trouble" he said 

"y/n!!" matsukawa and hanamaki yelled as they dove in to check her for injuries. "are you okay?! that was sick as hell but be careful!" hanamaki exclaimed. "you're bleeding!" 

"and your board got taken! don't worry, that teacher's nice. he'll give it back to you soon" matsukawa reassured her 

y/n drowned their voices out as she laid back down on the concrete, looking absolutely lifeless. "i crave death" she squeaked out as her eye twitches in horror 

"cmon now" iwaizumi sighed "it's not that bad" 

"yes it is. i just lost the only thing i have left of reki. it's over" she sulked 

"someone make the pain go away" she pleaded 

"which one? the heartbreak kind or your injuries?" 

"both please." 

a few buildings away from the school adam sat by the balcony of his newly rented hotel room. he held a binocular by his eyes as he watched the scene go down with a wide grin

"my eve hasn't lost her touch i see" he mused as he took a sip of his wine. "her skating is still as immaculate as ever" adam said as he let out a sigh of pleasure

"it makes my skin crawl!" he exclaimed

"and she.." he trailed off as his vision averts over to her, who was being helped by the boys. "is frowning. my eve is frowning." adam muttered as his grip around the device tightens, causing a soft snap to be heard.

his smile then fell as he watched the teacher walk away with y/n's skateboard through his binoculars. "but that nuisance is taking my little y/n's skateboard..?" he muttered

"you, dog." he called

"yes, mr.ainosuke?" tadashi replied

"get that skateboard back." he demanded as he threw the binoculars away, not caring that it had broken due to the impact. "and give it back to her as soon as possible" he said. 

"but.. are you not worried she'll know you're here?" tadashi asked him with furrowed brows 

adam snapped his eyes towards him and glared. "what was that? we're you about to disobey my orders just now?" he scowled through gritted teeth 

"do you have something to say? tadashi?" 

tadashi slightly bowed his head and replied. "no sir. i have no opinions." 

adam scoffed, followed by a grim laugh. 

"yeah. as always." 

sorry for the spelling / grammar mistakes if there are any :<

[tastyykpop]

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-ρ† 2

Pairings: enemy, student, barista!jaemin x student, barista!reader, (very small) taemin x reader

Suggestive, slight angst (you have to squint), fluff

<previous- next>

Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming kinda, possessiveness, degradation, praise, thigh riding, choking a lot, pet names, jealousy

a/n : here we go again👨‍🦯

"Is it true? Her and jaemin?" Students whispered amongst themselves and thats all you heard today, wondering why they were even talking about you and him. It was strange really, jaemin was nicer and there were very little pranks and even then, they weren't as bad as what they used to be.

"Y/n! Oh my god I can't believe it!" Yeri jumped with a smile plastered on her face, "Are you and jaemin together?"

You twisted your face in confusion. Is that what people think? "What!? No! Where did you even get that from?" You questioned.

Yeri smirked and leaned closer, "I heard from jeno that you both fucked." She leaned back, "is that true?"

"I- well thats not entirely wrong but what does that have to do with him and I dating?"

"Jaemins been nicer with you and there's rarely ever pranks. I mean, anyone with a brain could tell that something is up." Yeri pointed out. She raised an eyebrow as you glanced around, making sure no one can hear you.

"Okay yes me and jaemin did have sex, but seriously we aren't dating. And I'm just as shocked as you about the way he's acting." You whisper-yelled at your friend. She mouth fell into an 'o' shape as she nodded, then attempted to walk away until you grabbed and brought her back, "wait im missing something." You squinted, "please dont tell me everyone in the school knows."

"Okay I wont." She shrugged and tried to walk away again but your hand gripped her arm tighter, "Ow, did you get stronger?"

"Yeri I'm serious! No one was supposed to know and now everyone knows!" You slowly let go of her and stared at the ground, "i swear Im gonna kill that boy!"

Yeri snickered and patted your shoulder, "Dont you mean fuck him?"

"YERI!!"

Order after order, customer after customer, you began to wear down after a hard days work. Irene stayed for a bit at yours and jaemins station to help since it was so busy. And it still wasn't fast enough for all the orders that just kept coming. It felt like you weren't going to finish and the shop closed at 8:30, it was currently 8:17.

"Ugh why is there so many orders at this time?" Irene groaned from exhaustion, jaemin snickered.

"Just be happy we get payed after this." He said and you all agreed.

Everything seemed to suddenly slow down at the cafe as it was beginning to close. Only a few orders were actually left and after that, you could close.

Irene and jaemin cleaned up the stations. Of course Irene left first afterwards, and you counted the money at the register. And since youve been working here for almost 2 years, counting money was just as easy as walking. But since its been super busy today, it took you a while to count some of the coins. Only once while you counted did you mess up, but you brushed it away and started again.

"Can you be any slower?" Jaemin commented, having just finished his part.

Putting the money away after counting, you put your hands on your hips like a mom scolding her child, "Whats the hurry all of a sudden?"

He only giggled and ruffled your already messy hair, "I wanna spend time with my baby."

You tried your hardest not to blush.

"No way." You swatted his hand off your head.

"And why not?" He quirked an eyebrow as you and him walked to an empty table in the cafe.

"Cuz you told jeno what we did last night and now the whole school knows. I'm kinda mad at you right now." Groaning, you hid your head in your arms trying to avoid his gaze.

You couldnt see him, but you heard the sigh and knew he was pouting at you, buy you didn't bother looking up.

"Why can't I brag about how good you were?" Jaemin questions, leaving you to groan louder.

"This isnt what I wanted..."

The boy shifted in his seat and pulled your head out your arms, his hands holding the side of your cheeks, "then what did you want?"

Your cheeks puffed as you tried to find the right words, "...to not have done what we did last night."

"So you regret it?"

You shrugged.

Jaemin leaned back and stared at you with a cold face. He has a hint as to why youre now suddenly saying this, not only because of him telling his friends, but also because of his past with you. If he wasnt pranking you, he was making fun of you, if it wasn't that, he'd make you flustered with his words or actions. Jaemin was annoying, yes, but your reactions were priceless to him. You got annoyed by jaemin and you hated him. He didnt blame you even after all this.

"I guess im not really mad at you telling him, just more confused on why you had sex with me." You started playing with a strand of fallen hair and waited for his answer.

"I did what I wanted to do from the beginning; fucking you dumb. If you think there's another reason, there isn't." Jaemin crossed his arms with a half smile.

You stopped playing with your hair and glared at him, "No no there has to be more! You're way to nice to me now for that to be it!"

"Do you think I like you?" He suddenly leaned forward. You didnt bother saying anything and sat back in the chair, "Why would I like you?"

Its been a week since your last interaction with jaemin. Literally. Theres been no pranking or anything. It was odd, but you couldn't stop thinking back to what he said when you both were alone in the cafe. Something about that kind of stung. You dont know why but, you thought maybe, just maybe, he'd actually like you. And maybe, jimin was right about about you liking him.

"Hey how was work?" Jimin asked getting up from the couch. You noticed taemin was here too and it wasn't surprising anymore as he's been coming over recently this past week.

"It was a bit busy actually." You smiled, nodding your head in taemins direction to acknowledge him and he smiled in return. Cute.

Jimin came back to his seat on the couch and handed you and taemin a clas of iced tea, "Jaemin didnt do anything again huh?"

You shook your head, "You don't understand how weird this is. Like he completely stopped interacting with me." You sighed taking a sip and seat next to taemin before ranting again, "Wait...oh my god! Did I get played? Was he really just trying to fuck me this whole time?"

"Fu- what?" Taemin zipped his head at you.

"Its a long story-"

"No its not," jimin cut you off, "basically hes kind of a bully to her and hes always doing pranks and saying some provocative things, but magically," he started flailing his hands, "jaemin started being nice, said he wanted to 'fuck her dumb' and then she was in his bed."

"....so you just...let your bully fuck you??" Taemin squinted his eyes at you and you nodded slowly. "Interesting. "

"I dont even know why. Like it just happened." You stuck out your bottom lip and laid you head on taemins shoulder, "I can't believe I did that..."

"It was bound to happen." Jimin sipped his tea.

You lifted your head slightly off of taemins shoulder and stuck your tongue out, "You know what fuck you!"

"You both are like kids." Taemin said, moving to get up.

"Hm?" Jimin looked up from his iced tea, completely obvious to what taemin said and taemin shook his head.

"I need to get back home. Jimin don't stay up too late." Jimin whined at his friend as taemin got up, "y/n, be good." You gave him a thumbs up and watched as the black haired man left.

"Jimin hes cute." You frowned.

Jimin rolled his eyes, "tell him that next time then."

You rolled over so now you were laying on jimins lap and he gave you a look of disgust, but you ignored it, "Mans is too cute for someone like me to say something."

"Dude he literally called you cute the first day he met you." Jimin said a matter of factly.

"How do you know he wasnt lying?"

Jimin scoffed, "Taemin lying? Thats like me and you dating. It just doesn't go together."

"I dont know if i should be offended or happy." You glared.

"The latter." He averted his eyes from yours and continued watching the show on t.v.

2 classes in and your were already tired. If you hadn't had stayed up so late with jimin, crying over some k-drama, maybe you wouldve gotten a good night sleep. But because of that you looked dead. You didn't even try to look your best this morning, only throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and brushing your hair back. You thought you looked okay to some extent at least. Maybe not your normal self but at least you were presentable.

There's was only so much you could handle in your class right now too. Trigonometry was definitely not your strong suit and you wondered how you even got in this class.

People were hunched over doing their work and you were struggling with question one. It was a bit embarrassing. You looked to your right for answers but they were just as lost as you, so your left was your next move.

"I dont appreciate you cheating off my paper y/n." Jaemin whispered, making sure the professor didn't hear him.

"Sorry I'm just confused.." you grumbled, placing your pencil down, jaemin gave you a look.

"Maybe if you used your head you'd get it."

"Im not dumb jaemin."

He exhaled and rubbed his face with his hands, "Come over later ill help you."

You looked at jaemins partially completed paper then back at your blank one. You needed this if you wanted to pass but you also didn't want to be with jaemin at the moment and you weren't too sure what tricks the boy had up his sleeve.

"I dont think-"

"It wasnt a question." Jaemin then went back to his work, ignoring whatever protest you had as you were about to open your mouth.

It was at this point you even planned on not going later. The only thing is he really didn't like being disobeyed and you found him a bit scary when mad. It wouldnt be right to miss out on him tutoring you anyway because jaemin was a smart guy. With his help you should be able to pass easily given a few months.

The professor ended class a few minutes early. Jaemin and you both headed to your next class when someone tapped on your shoulder, making you curiously turn around.

"TAEMIN!" you leaped up and hugged the guy around his neck as he giggled with full cheeks. "What are you doing here?"

"I changed colleges since it was closer to where I was living, but I didnt realize you were here too!" He beamed.

Jaemin stood watching you both converse and giggle over small things. He wanted so badly to drag you away from taemin but he knew you weren't going to like him very much after that. But something about the two of you laughing and subtly flirting didnt sit right with him and he didnt know why. It wasnt jealousy because why would he be jealous with you? He didn't care about you in that way. So why was this making him angry?

"Y/n lets go to class." Jaemin interrupted the two of you.

"You can go ill be in shortly." You brushed him off as if he was nothing and began talking with taemin again. Jaemin despised it but listened to you and walked away.

You were happy taemin came to this school because now it gave you a chance to get closer with him. It was definitely the small crush that grew over the week that made you feel like a 14 year old girl whenever he said something remotely sweet.

Taemin and you stood just outside of the classroom door and you gave him a quick hug and good bye before heading into the room with a big smile.

Jaemin stared at you as you walked up the steps to your seat that was a few feet away from him. The smile plastered on your face made jaemin see how much of an impact taemin really had on you.

Seulgi and sana kept glancing back at you, snickering here and there. Something your not fazed by it anymore. Probably them planning another prank or something. You also felt another set of eyes behind you and looked back to see jaemin glaring at the back of your head. Wondering why he was doing that, you crooked your head to the side then faced the front again after not receiving any response from him.

Ten minutes passed and the professor never came. Students were still all around the room talking to each other and the room was noisy. You decided to just ignore everyone and focus on any work you could, everything other than trig. You were saving that for jaemin.

"Hey nana," jaemin looked away from you and gazed up at seulgi who was now standing in front of him, "theres a party later at Wendy's and joys house. You coming?"

You put the pencil down and started biting your nails, wondering what he would actually say, not that he would ditch on you, but still.

"Im working later." He simply said, seulgi rolled her eyes playfully.

"Ill come pick you up after just bring clothes."

Jaemin raised a brow, "ill be too tired to go."

He was starting to get on seulgis nerves as she grit her teeth, "Then ill come over after school."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes wondering why she was trying so hard. Clearly the boy didn't want to go, or at least go with her. You didnt understand how she couldn't see that.

"Can't im helping someone with trig after."

She leaned over his desk, jaemin not really fazed by anything as she kept coming closer, "I have a feeling you're lying nana."

"Why would I lie?" He replied stoic. "Y/n is coming over for help."

Its the way that literally everyone in the room looked back at jaemin and you. Such a weird pair. Now they really would be questioning the two of you.

You anxiously looked back at him, seulgi was up in his face, nose flared, jaemin remained still and not intimidated by her or the class. But you were ready for someone to say something.

"Whats with you and y/n all of a sudden?" Seulgi asked. You could tell she didn't want you to go over his house, that was pretty obvious, but its not like she could stop you.

"Nothing, she just needs help in trig."

The class was still silent, even after a good 30 seconds. Now you just wanted the professor come in and talk about some WW2 stuff so people would ignore this. But your were pretty sure your professor just didn't want to teach and stayed home for the day.

"You dont need to help her." She faked a smile when she glanced back at you. "Shes a smart girl."

Jaemin was just about ready to get up and walk away, "I want to help her pass, now I do believe your seat is over there." he pointed over to the middle row of seats, just a few before yours. Seulgi actually took the hint and walked away. Her eyes were trained on yours and she looked as if ready to say something but decided against it.

God, now you just wanted to leave.

Jaemin placed a notebook and an open textbook on trig in front of you. His eyes watched as you hesitated to do your homework. You would get ready to write then lean back in confusion. For you, something was just not clicking with the whole trigonometry thing. You even started to wonder why you were taking it.

"Look this is what you have to do." Jaemin sat up and took the pencil out of your hand and went through the steps. Despite him being shockingly good at explaining and teaching, you found yourself lost at his words and just started staring at his side profile. Admittedly, you had to say he was pretty. And his lips as he was talking made you hypnotized. They looked soft and you wondered if you'll ever be able to feel them again.

"Repeat what I had just said."

You snapped out of your thoughts and hesitated, looking back at the paper then slowly began going over what you remembered until you started stumbling over your words and then stopped when he placed his hand on your thigh.

Jaemin exhaled loudly, sounding very disappointed in you and the only thing you could do was wait for whatever he had to say, "Why aren't you paying attention to nana?" His voice remained the same, but his nickname was a complete contrast.

"Im sorry I was distracted..."

"Distracted." Jaemin raised an eyebrow, "Theres nothing here to distract you."

Although you wanted to say he's been distracting you, you most certainly didn't and spared yourself the embarrassment.

"Y/n whats distracting you?" Jaemin set aside the pencil and gave you his full attention. Yet you remained silent and let him figure it out himself. But he knew, you were pretty easy to read. This is why he tapped your thigh, trying to get an answer out of you.

"You already know. Why do I have to say it?"

"I wanna hear it come out of your mouth." Jaemin shrugged.

"Jaemin..." you mumbled staring at your blank notebook, "Can we just move on?"

"Say it first." Consequently jaemin only made things worse by moving his hand up and down on your thigh in a taunting manner. One way or another he'll make you flustered.

"Youre clearly the distraction now can we please move on. We only have an hour and a half until work." You blushed.

A playful smirk found its way to his lips as he hummed in agreement. His hand still rested on your thigh and he once again tried explaining the problem in front of you. Granted, your phone went off in the middle of his second attempt of explaining.

"Taemin texted me hold on." You reached to grab your phone but jaemin was faster. He took your phone and threw it on the bed behind him.

"Pay attention." Jaemin had said. But you decided to be a bit stubborn and decided to get up and grab your phone, but jaemin had other plans. Hence why now you were stuck in a death grip on his lap with a hand to your neck. You couldn't see his face, but you knew it was cold. Jaemin didn't like to be disobeyed even for a second. "You only listen to me when I make a move, so do I have to keep you in this position for you to do your work?" You quickly shook your head and tried to wiggle out of his strong grip, but jaemin wouldn't let you go. Particularly because he figured you'd try and grab your phone again, which in that case, wasn't going to happen. If you so desperately wanted to pass, hes going to make you pass. Jaemin doesn't care even if he has to go as far as disciplining you either. As long as you pass, he'll be fine.

"You dont want to disappoint nana right?" You shook your head again. "You have a voice, use it."

"N-no.."

Jaemin hummed and let go of your neck, still keeping you on his lap. "Now be a good girl and listen. This is the last time I'll repeat myself."

So then you listened. Certainly because jaemin would not hesitate in making you regret any decisions you had.

After his third explanation, you understood the whole process a bit more and began doing your work. Jaemin was happy to see you do the problems, only pointing out a few mistakes, but praising you after for getting them right. You'd try your best not to smile or blush by putting your head down or looking away. Jaemin found it cute and couldn't help but smile himself.

"Lets get ready for work." Jaemin tapped your thigh for you to get up then he made his way to the closet to find clothes.

"Do you have a white t-shirt I can use?" You asked and jaemin threw you a shirt. Luckily for you the dress code was white on top, black on bottom so you didn't need to worry about the pants.

The both of you changed swiftly, not really caring about each others presence as you've already seen each other naked.

Without warning, jaemin dragged you out the his car, not bothering to give you a chance to say you wanted to drive yours. And you both were off.

It was a silent car ride besides the soft music playing on the radio. Jaemin kept you occupied with a hand resting on your thigh. He had a nice hand, you weren't gonna lie, but besides you gawking at his hand, it really did keep your mind focused. Not even the streets filled with so much activity could make you stop staring. It came to the point where you ended up grabbing his hand and played with his fingers.

"If you like my hands so much maybe I should use them on you again." Jaemin said, your breathing stopped for a second and you faced him.

"I just... find your hands nice thats all. Nothing sexual nana." You emphasized his nickname with a mocking tone. But in reality it was a very lowkey sexual desire to have him feel you up again, or even finger you. Whatever it was, you didn't want to admit it.

Parking the car, you and jaemin went inside the cafe to find it was again very busy. Irene was at the register helping a customer with their order and when she glanced up, you could've sworn she saw a ghost.

She finished the order and looked between you two, "Am I missing something?" She asked, pointing a finger at you guys as if accusing you, "you never come in together nor even walk inches next to each other."

"Y/n was at my house because I was tutoring her for school, so I drove her here too." Jaemin responded and you nodded in agreement. Still, irene found this crazy.

"Okay...just get to work then..." she squinted her eyes. Jaemin was the first to get to the stations, followed by you who made sure to look at the orders on screen.

After a while of making coffees, teas, and such you decided it was time for a break, so you asked irene if you can just take a seat for a bit to which she said yes.

Only a few tables remained empty, you took one near a window so you could see what was happening outside. Nothing different. Some teenagers fooling around on the sidewalk, couples passing by, and people rushing to get to their jobs. Meanwhile you never noticed someone sitting in front of you until they blew into your ear.

"Ahhh, what the fuck taemin!" Frowning at the sudden intusion, taemin laughed at your shocked face and sputtered many apologies. Many of which you knew he didnt mean.

"How long have you been sitting there?" You leaned over the table asking.

Taemin naturally leaned over too, getting closer to your face, "Just got here." He smiled, "I texted you that I was coming but you never replied."

You pouted in realization that that was when jaemin decided to discard your phone on his bed and not allow you to get it back. "Sorry I was being tutored for trig."

"Its fine." He pinched your cheeks, the smile never left his face once he finally saw a shade of red on your cheeks. Moreover, the two of you kept conversing for about 5 more minutes. Taemin talked about how jimin was bored all day from not seeing you at home so he went over to comfort him. You chuckled at the thought of jimin sadly laying against his friend and playing video games, trying not to feel bored. It made you happy that you had that kind of impact on him, knowing damn well no matter how much he said he said you weren't fun, that was a lie.

"I have to go. I'll make sure to come by later." With that taemin and you stood up and gave each other a hug. What surprised you was the lips on your cheek, giving you a bunch of butterflies in your stomach. "Bye y/n." Taemin winked and walked out the cafe.

Alarmed and flustered by what happened, you steadily walked back to the counter and just stopped there.

One might consider that to be a cute thing to see in a cute little cafe but jaemin thought otherwise and he was quite literally done with this.

"Come here." Jaemin made a finger motion to you and took you to the back of the cafe, away from the bustling people. "Whats with you and that taemin dude?"

"Why do you care?" You tilted your head up at him with a smirk. If you can manage to successfully push jaemins buttons and walk away with it, this would be the best day ever.

Jaemin took your chin in his index and thumb, bringing your face closer, "I asked you a question. I expect an answer."

"I dont have to answer if I dont want to." You tried swatting his hand away from your chin but he only moved down to your neck, causing you to gasp at the sudden squeeze. Basically, jaemin was choking you out of jealousy. "H-hes just m-my friend." You stuttered as you told the truth expecting jaemin to now let go, but he only softened his grip.

"I hate him."

"You dont know him." You mocked back and jaemin lazily rolled his eyes.

"I dont care if I dont know him I hate the fact that hes with you." Jaemin growled, letting your neck go.

You took the chance to let out a laugh at his frustrated face. This was entertaining to you and for once you had the upper hand, "so youre saying you're jealous?"

Roughly, jaemin slammed your back against the building with his face only mere centimeters from yours. You could smell the scent of mint in his breath too. "Maybe I am." Jaemin pushed a knee between your legs. "Shouldnt mess with my girl. And you shouldn't have let him kiss your cheek." Jaemins lips hovered over your lips. His hands harshly gripped your hips, moving you them over his thigh. Hearing the sound of you moaning out in shock, jaemin captured your lips in a kiss, a rough one at that.

His anger was through the roof and he showed that. "Youre mine and only mine. I'm the only one who can touch you like this, kiss you like this." Jaemin kissed down your jaw, still grinding your core on his thigh. You tried silencing your whimpers by biting your hand, but jaemin was quick to stick his fingers in your mouth, causing you to gag and choke.

Without a moments hesitation, jaemin pulled away from your neck to watch you suck around his fingers and he laughed through an angry aura, "If only taemin could see how much of a slut you are for me, maybe he would back off." You whined around his fingers and he pushed deeper down your throat. Your hips stuttered a bit, but kept moving forward, trying to get more friction.

"Such a stupid little girl for nana." Jaemin ruthlessly began fucking your throat with his fingers, "Are you gonna cum out here? What if somebody walks out and sees?" Your eyes rolled back and jaemin hummed still keeping the pace with his fingers and helping you move your hips. "Aww but I bet you wouldn't care. Since your so eager to cum and all." You gripped his wrist becoming more and more desperate to reach your high. Indeed you were so close that you started seeing stars, but jaemin pulled his thigh and fingers away.

"Were you about to cum?" He laughed in your face sadisticly. Your face heated up in embarrassment. "Stupid girl."

Cooing at your red face, jaemin brought you into another kiss, much softer than before but enough to know who's in charge.

"Lets get back to work, yeah?" Jaemin tapped your cheek with his two fingers and walked away leaving you hot and bothered.

Naturally you wouldve followed but you literally almost came in your pants just outside of your work. What were you thinking letting jaemin do that to you? And why did he have such an affect on you to the point that you forgot about what happened with taemin. You couldn't stand out here any longer and went inside. Jaemin was calm as if you didn't almost just get off on his thigh and sucked his fingers off. God this boy was doing something to you and you couldn't take it!

Working next to him seemed even more difficult. You were a hot mess, plus you were horny and honestly jaemins existence wasn't helping. And now, especially now, you realized that lasting until 8:30 was going to be a train wreck.

The school day was normal, yeri was hyper as always and cracking jokes making you spit out your banana milk. And her constant teasing about jaemin was nothing different. Of course you told her what happened the other day, she's your best friend, and she was blown away. Yeri wasn't expecting such news to be dropped on her like that and you couldnt blame her, only shrugging your shoulders and sipping your banana milk.

Stopping mid sip, you saw the boy you were subtly looking for; jaemin. Your reason? Well even you didn't know but your for sure were going to come up with something.

For the past few days jaemin never left your mind. Even when you saw him he always lingered. You could say you missed him. Besides that, taemin was never on your mind anymore. Just jaemin. It was like your mind needed him.

So you got up from your seat, yeri looked up confused and watched as your legs took you to your destination. Your heart was beating rapidly and you weren't even sure how this would go. Either you'll die from embarrassment or be the happiest girl alive. It was the anticipation.

You sucked in a deep breath once you got to him, jaemin peered up at you with curiosity, some other students even found your boldness interesting, until you spoke, "Wanna go out with me?"

[brelione]

Love and Hate (The Best Boys)

dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going, 

Series Masterlist

SHES HEREEEE

Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.

You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.

You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.

Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.

 Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.

He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.

He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.

Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.

Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.

Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.

She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.

 “Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.

You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered. 

“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring. 

“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated. 

“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.

 It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning. 

Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window. 

The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.

 Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.

 The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment. 

“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered. 

“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story. 

“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed.  “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.

“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street. 

You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.

 “Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.

 “Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.

 “What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.

 “I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in. 

“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.

 “Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile. 

You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them. 

“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy. 

“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room. 

It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries. 

The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom. 

“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested. 

You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded. 

He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it. 

As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose. 

Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh. 

He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.

 “Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways. 

“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh. 

He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob. 

Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.

 The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued. 

Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.

 “Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know. 

She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.

 “Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs. 

“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you. 

Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. 

Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color. 

You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.

 “I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.

 “How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.

 “I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter. 

“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed. 

It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.

 The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper. 

Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text. 

Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps. 

Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left. 

Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.

 “We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project. 

It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.

 “I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist. 

Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.

 “Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall. 

“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots. 

He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.

 “Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall. 

“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back. 

“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away. 

Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso. 

It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly. 

He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again. 

“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.

That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.

 It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much. 

“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house. 

Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon. 

Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end. 

“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.

 Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.

 “Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.

 “I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.

 “Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right. 

There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well. 

He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.

 “So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.

@sweetlittlegingy​    @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet​ @butgilinsky​ @jjjmaybank​ @gracelovesbroadway​  @one-stella @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor​ @chinamolina602  @sexytholland @28cnn  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything  @annmariek8​ @stupidpendeja​ @killjoyybsinner @pink-meringues @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian   @simonsbluee  @deionswannabegirl​ @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @dmonchld​​@annmariek8 @harryswigss​ @ibookofstars​  @lostaurorax​​ @cheshirecat107​​​

[relaxxattack]

ayo! (wait this might be a bit of a jumpscare dishdks i apologize) i’m op of That Post and was wondering what your opinions were on the whole woobification thing? /gen

because it’s a Tiny Bit widespread within the dream apologists to sort of,, overdramatize stuff like l’manberg hurting him. like they’re not a 100% wrong but if you look at it subjectively you can see some sort of bias going into that sort of thing that makes the character’s mistreatment a bit more blatant and intentional which,, it really wasn’t? and there wasn’t That Much of it either. especially on twitter (tumblr is much better about it) people just jump to conclusions it seems and yeah. since you brought it up i was wondering if you wanted to write a bit about it from your perspective!

we’re kinda from different corners of the fandom but i still notice that once you are too attached to a character you start taking certain evidence and giving it more weight than it actually has. there’s a blurry line between “taking away a character’s humanity” and woobification and it’s extremely difficult to find a balance when said character shows pretty much nothing of his emotional life (e. g. putting up the intimidating villain act in front of only c!tommy, pretty much everything he does making rational sense with no emotional subtext) and a lot of the fandom instantly jumps to one side or the other while it’s like.

we don’t know by far enough to say “he’s traumatized” or “he isn’t traumatized” or “he was villainized and it hurt him” or “l’manberg didn’t affect him at all”

as a very analytical person people constantly jumping to conclusions grinds my gears, but that’s about it for my own view of the situation - sorry for the rambling.

in general i agree with you that both dehumanization and woobification is Bad and i really hope getting Actual Context sorts this out (e. g. him saying he was betrayed by his friends doesn’t mean it wasn’t partially his fault or that they were allowed to leave him, but it also shows that he did care about that happening. mentioning the cat doesn’t mean anything about what happened to c!tommy but it also shows that he did care about what happened to it. it’s just always interesting to get more information about the way he feels because he usually does a very good job at hiding it.) because man.

it’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, especially if you also are attached to the character and are expected to automatically agree with everything the people on “your side” say. it just ends up with everyone being mad and the character being mischaracterised overall.

oh wow hello! i didnt expect the op of the post to find me you’re right lol

and yes i agree! you seem to have a lot of very good thoughts tbh.

and by woobification, i mean exactly what you’ve already pointed out— the people who will say l’manberg purposely villainized dream, the people who will say wilbur faked his mental illness to manipulate dream, the people who are pretty much always talking about how badly dream was treated by people who were acting only fairly for themselves, usually.

for example people who act like dream was a perfect peacemaker before tommy showed up, or that tommy started most conflict. these are just actual lies that are told by c!dream himself to justify his abuse of tommy, and people fall for them incredibly easily because not a lot of people watched early dsmp and know that truthfully it was chaotic even then, and that dream was chaotic too. not to mention wilbur soot tried very hard to secede peacefully with l’manberg and dream jumped directly into war with no warning. and then people say he was forced into their war when, no, he started it.

theres also people who will say like, dream and sapnap for example are such good friends. i’m sure they cared for each other, but dream on multiple occasions has done horrible things to sapnap with no regard for his feelings (like leading fundy to sapnaps pets during the petwar, leading tommy to sapnaps pets during the other petwar and encouraging him to kill them, handing mars over to tommy to use as leverage against sapnap, etc). george he’s been less awful too but he certainly spoke over him and ignored his feelings enough that george felt hurt. he had places in his hall of attachments for beckerson and mars. george and sapnap were right to walk away from being treated like that.

there’s also what you just said here — “dream puts on a villain persona for tommy”— but honestly he acts like that around quite a few people (example: eret) and it’s usually when he’s revealing crucial info, which leads me and many others to believe that ‘persona’ is actually a more truthful version of him.

there’s the fact that he really isn’t safe for people to be around (or at least he wasn't before the prison) because he was planning to come up with ways to control every single person by stealing and threatening their attachments (some of which were not items but were living animals, or a real breathing person).

and then people will say dream was doing exile to enforce rules, or to keep the peace— when it’s very clear in canon it was a deliberate plan to get tommy on his own and into the prison. (from the way he was framing tommy for multiple crimes, and having sam set up the prison, and kidnapping tommy instead of correctly exiling him, all at the same time).

not even going into how he wants to kill and revive people for fun or make tommy immortal.

it’s just— ignoring all these actual facts and saying “oh he misses his friends, let’s get him some friends now” reminds me of like. when people would put flower crowns on pictures of serial killers. and then, there’s hardly anyone on the server who wasn’t subject to dream’s plans, so there’s absolutely no one i would be okay with him interacting with.

just remembered about the torture thing, and wow i still hate it so much. it’s someone’s sick revenge fantasy twisted into a way to get a manipulative villain sympathy, and it’s just gross to me on every account. i do think dream is traumatized-- just not by l’manberg, which was a conflict he started on his own terms. i would think l’manberg did affect him, because he was scared of losing control.

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again— my ideal ending for dream would be for him to be sent far away from dsmp to an island full of therapy animals and super strong therapists who have never met him before. and for him to get a shit ton of therapy until he becomes a halfway normal person. and then eventually he could get integrated into society again; but a different one with new people. (although maybe dteam + bbh + puffy can visit him, they might still like him.)

none of the people on the server (who have all been affected by dream) should be burdened with befriending him or rehabilitating him— look how that turned out with sam! sam had a personal grudge towards dream and it ended with the poor dude being tortured every day; and sam himself falling into corruption and literally cutting off his boyfriends arm. like we can all see thats fucking awful right?

no one who was affected by dream should have to deal with him ever again. and contrary to popular belief, that includes a LOT more people then just tommy. dream isn’t just tommy’s antagonist, hes almost everybody’s.

the only person on the server who might also be able to stand to help dream is techno, and that’s from sheer lack of ability to give a shit. but techno is probably THE furthest thing from a good therapist there is lol, and dream needs better then that.

this kind of just ended up being a rant about my thoughts on c!dream, so im so sorry op. especially since it was probably negative for you. i hope you’re doing very well.

i guess in the end it’s true what you said— people will highlight or ignore things based on what characters they like, and it’s especially easy to do in this fandom, where half the content doesn’t even get watched and then we become a big echo chamber of half-truths.

considering dream has hurt so many of the characters i care about, i almost can’t understand how he could be someone’s favorite or comfort character— but he is nonetheless, and it would be unfair of me to be rude about that.

essentially it just bothers me to see someone who was a perpetrator of accurately portrayed abuse and manipulation (using both those words in their actual definitions, not just as random buzzwords lol) being given the flower crown edit effect. especially since he’s hurt the characters i care about a lot.

ANYWAY all of that being said (this got LONG im so sorry op) i am so so excited to get dream’s pov, because although i disagree with his actions strongly i actually find dream’s character very interesting and cool, and watching his POV is going to insanely fun. i cannot wait to see what theories get confirmed or denied

ALSO incase it wasn’t clear this is all /nm at you! you seem lovely and smart, and neither of us can help what characters we get attached to :]

[strawberryspeachy]

S4e10 is the first time i want to actually rewatch an entire episode of handmaids tale.... ok wait second time - was it the new “ofglen” who blew up that important building with all the commanders inside and the handmaids outside - that ending was great

But omg

First off elizabeths moss’s acting!!! Ive gotten too used to that same dreadful look shes been making for the past couple seasons that... the wide range of facial expressions really surprised me and it just!! Wow

the suspence the whole episode. Nothing EVER goes right in this show. I knew what i wanted to see but i fully expected fred and serena to go free and happy. That back and forth feeling was super engaging

I loved that even though there was that tension between june and moira before, moira jumped right back to trying to fight and doing all the screaming and ranting for june - someones gotta do it and june was too mentally exausted

K like im still confused why everyone can go in and out of the waterford prison so easily and was like.... dooooo they want june to kill him?!?!? Why are you leaving her alone???

And i was so excited like yesssss shes gonna kill himmm - well first i thought she was gonna go to serena and kill her baby

But when she was walking around that room... like a cat pretending not to notice the mouse in the room - we just know june too well to think she wasnt at least planningggg something

Also fred is fucking DISGUSTINGGGGG as usual. Lying during his ... conference like WHY are you just gonna beleive this psycho at face value?!

Oh and serena thinking shes got all the power back.

Omg the two of them. I cant

And fred really being such a fucking disgusting person to think ANY part of june enjoyed his torture. She is so strong dude - i could never sit there not knowing if my plan will work and playing nice. I thought she was gonna break that glass and stab him

And like. Ok. Lukes not the worst but also - his whole - just get over it!!! Attitude.... even if she cant get him on the wall why are you reprimanding her and trying to pretend she can just get over that trauma with some food. Absolutr lack of empathy.

But june saying hes gonna be on the wall... i was so giddy!!

And i rewatched that smile she made when larence told her she hanst lost her touch- well she could barely contain her smile throughout that entire negotiation. And i loved watching larence put on a show like ‘ah we rlly miss waterford! My brother!!’

Gah and just. Also... i kinda thought june was gonna kill mark when she was outside his building. Men in this show. She went through 7 years of hell and you told her youd help and fucked her over and then throw an entire dramatic tempertantrum when she calmly sits on a bench near your house.... lol wow..i mean uncomfortable but have some prespective

And i wanna say the like demand straight to - oh im sorry. Didnt mean to he a cunt - i meant please? Act june did, its not overacting but knowing june it is so it was funny af

The suspence watching fred get ready to go.., i was literally chanting for the plane to be to gilead but it was so much better! Watchint him get arrested all shocked. “Im a man! I have rights” all the fucking ew... open the door back up and slap him

I just thought he was gonna get sent back and wed watch the commanders all hang him. But it to be lawrence - again with his ‘oh? Is there anything i can do to stop this? No? Ok bye fred!’

And i mean i knew we were in for a treat with nick taking him but i was NOT EXPECTING JUNE to just POP OUT of the trees!!! Fucking perfect. A literal horror movie just for fred

Also why did he keep calling nick son.... like... no one likes you???? Do you really think you can regain power just saying words like this???

And this is e first time i fucking LOVED seeing june in a red coattt and her faceeee like last episode when she turned from calm to screaming - it wad so good and so intense and such good acting and that heartbeat music got me

But hereeeee i cant even desribe the combination or rage and calmness pouring out. Not to be a weeb but thats the first time i think ive ever seen a live action representation of how i imagine anime cool characters to act

That power play of nick and june making out in front of fred loool - i dont care about the ships but that was perfect

“This is sick” - whats sick is how you never run out of things to do and say that make me feel sick...

I loved how june told him to choose - i feel like jt was a call back to his lawyer saying that she CHOSE to be a handmaid. Like theres not good option here

Does anyone think she actually would have shot him dead IF he did choose the gun - part of me wants an alterantive ending where he chose that just so i could watch june either tell him ‘no thats too easy’ or like shoot him in the foot so he cant even run right before being like

Oops i missed and chasing him down anyway

I hate horror movies but watching them all chase him down UGHHH IVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH GLEEE - k not never but ya know

OMG ALMOST FORGOT that sceneee with june and emily talking at the table about how june wants him to be scared to death. And fucking luke - with his judgements turning and looking. I feelll like.... emily helped june decide to do this. Because after getting to the end of the episode it seemed more like they were planning in plain sight in thay scene

I havent rewarched the show. So maybe im remembering incorrectly but it does feel like this fits because - wasnt emily kind of what inspired june to actively start rebelling when she drove the car around and ran one of the guards over

Anddddd the songggg from the 1st? Or 2nd??? Season. The ending right? I just remember that the last time we heard that song was when june first started a quiet resistance against gilead and all the handmaids were together in it. So it brought back those feelings of like ‘FINALLY its happening!!’ And it fit soooo perfectlyyy

When the girls first ran up to fred i thought they were gonna surround him and reinact that “shame” thing they used to be forced to do. I mean i guess they did without actually saying it cause they definitely killed him the way gilead forced the handmaids to kill people in the first season

And it was wonderful to watch! Thank you handmaids tale for making me feel like a psychotic sadist for enjoying that ENTIRE scene. I was giggling like i was watching a disney movie

Gonna ignore that part where june picks up the baby covered in blood - ew

I wanted to seeeeee serena get the finger - more so - i wanted to watch tha family come in and get her and be like - hey guess what your coming back to gilead!!! And see it end with serena as a fucking handmaid - GIVING BIRTH TO THE BABY BETWEEN (i forget the one who visited hers name) LEGS!

But fuck seeing fred on a wall with the “dont let the bastards grind you down” from the the very beginningggg - it felt sooo goodddd

And i just needed to squeal over this episode some more! I watched it hours ago. But i kinda wanna rewatch it rnn

[lampoest]

Unfiltered thoughts watching mission impossible rouge nation inspired by @chaotically-cas

(sorry its so long my brain is all over the place)

this is also part 14 of me watching it every day :/

CURSING WARNING !! ALSO SPOILERS !!!

why is brandt first to speak

starting out with "shit" good call benji

brandt man we get the package is on the mcfucking plane

badass luther 10/10

nervous benji 10/10

that one sound effects sounds like the discord notif

why he in a fancy suit

*jumps on a plane with almost no plan on getting inside*

why did tom cruise think this was agood idea?

but like why would benji even open the ramp?

how is he not winded from that?

classic ethan

THE INTRO 1000/10

SOLOMON LANE !!

wait you can already see lane in the record shop.

how do they tell the agents these little convos?

also damn way to give it away

what if someone just looked in that room and saw the secret message?

also how did the disc get changed? because the imf definitely didnt make that

and how did lane know where he was going?

speaking of lane---

dang that man is pretty

he always sets guns down carefully

i can only see alec baldwin as trump from his snl skits so i dont take hunley seriously ;-;

damn brandt needs to step it up. man keeps letting himself be inturrupted

bruh the imf is only luck

why did no one resrict his legs?

also why is janik such an asshole?

dang she cool !!

why does it take janik so long to get that gun?

bravo-echo 1-1

this man is bleeding but decided instead of taking care of his wound he calls brandt.

i like how you actually see ethan worried and confused trying to plan his next moves. he is rarely caught off guard so it's refreshing to see his more human side

hunley spitting accusations damn bro

also a big fuck you from ethan to hunley

dang ethan is good

brandts little hidden smile

and ethan leaving trails

bitch how you sketch that good???

STAN BENJI !!

youve won, your way out of a job

benji is good

my little brandt x benji shipper in me is happy

simon pegg is such a good actor

the first time i saw this i was like: aww noooo

all dunn with that

TO THE OPERA !!!

TUX BENJI TUX BENJI

i cant tell if that was ethan

it just looks like youre talking to yourself thats more sus than using a phone

want drama? go to the opera

ok but like if you look like that im sorry you are a bad guy. thats like a stereotypical bad guy face

benji-

you can see ethan in the background of that scene

flute gun flute gun

oh no benji is in the closet. dont worry man we love you

if i were there and i just had a good vantage point i could find lane in an instant

ooh ilsa pretty

pipe gun

also pamphlet computer

those key things are cool and plausible

spiderman spiderman does whatever, ethan hunt can?

a W O M A N

what W O M A N?

reminds me of a marshmallow gun i made out if pvc pipes.

why does she not put that thing back?

also the dude loads it and then later it is unloaded

dang that guy is pretty tall.

ethan is so tiny

dis bitch is like uhh gimmie a sec to catch my breath mate

why he only dropkick people?

only 30 mins in ?!?!

the cinematography is exquisite

yes benji goin sicko mode

*gets shot* just a flesh wound

bruh i would've been so startled at that

i love how confused he is at that

ilsa saves ethan once again

they did this on the first day of filming

skdjs

ah yes random package in car = not bomb totally

if she tried to shoot benji then yes she is a bad person

but she didnt try to, she could've easily but didn't

benji being paranoid

she could just say the dude's name

benji being scared

hunley jumping to conclusions

brandt actually cares yeey

why di they approach from different sides of the street they were in the same car.

benji was far away from the sparks why he flinch?

friendship goals

oop plot dump that only mission impossible can get away with

ok...

why this mf's voice so smooth

lane is struggling with chopsticks

also lane :))))

ive chocked on my water so many times watching this scene

lanes voice :))))))

SHE RUINED HIS SUSHI WHAT THE FUCK ILSA

this man dont know what personal space is

gotta look up these peeps mbti types

casablanca references

also benji is wearing dollar store lookin glasses while ethan is wearing some fancy glasses

luther is top notch

as much as i dont like jeremy renner he delivers these lines really well

because atlee is a bitch

oh honey please, impossible is a walk in the park

benji just wants to wear a mask

id be so nervous walking through those

yes...

personal wellbeing who?

why not bring a plastic bottle full of air?

tom cruise can hold his breath for 6 minutes and he learned to do so for that scene

luther big brain

damn cctv

why did they need to break in while benji was going in?

das sus but ok

also isnt et voila french?

she just randomly tapping the ipad

benji being stressed

if he missed the exact center

i want one of those to open my locker's lock

if he just went with the current and didnt try to force his way against the water ilsa wouldn't have had to save him

imagine if he put the wrong one in-

she is breathing heavily to over saturate her body with oxygen so she can hold her breath longer

see ilsa makes it out without well and she went with the current

BENJI'S OUTFIT YESSS :))))))

no you didn't

you gave her a false sense of security

ethan's confused face for the next like 10 mins is great

liar

why does that one man look like sean ambrose?

parkour

skdjdksjdjdkfjs

the facial acting in this

STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS

the glare yesss

vrrrm vrrm

hey its you !

drivin like a grandma

shit !

benji just screaming

im convinced that ethan is indestructible

no you didn't survive that

bonk

dskfh

ethan didnt just-

also why didnt benji just tell ethan he made a copy ???

dont shoot and drive kids

high speed motorcycle chase with no helmet or leather. tom cruise, how?

i wanna learn how to drive a motorcycle

HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD YET ?!?!

the lighting

ofc brandt would be the person why sits backwards on a chair. fkn bi vibes

benji to the rescue

fuck off atlee

i am so proud of us ...

the lines are done so well here

benji lookin like how i look when my parents argue

YES THIS SCENE

LANE LANE LANE LANE LANE

im too fucking gay for this movie-

once again no personal space

*inhales* :))))))))))))))

ive like memorized the entire script of this including the music

1 man performance of m:i5 ???

benji's outfit

also i love how youre able to see the characters in the background. props for the attention to detail

i need that haircut because his hair is lookin A+

fuck you atlee

ilsa spitting straight facts

uhh ilsa he still loves julia

NO BENJI NOOOO

EW FUCK OFF JANIK NO ONE LIKES YOU

speak of the devil-

betrayal--

WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO KNOW WEATHER BOY !??

actin sus

BENJI LANE BENJI LANE

his posture shdhskhsj (i cant be talking though)

0 personal space whatsoever

why does everyone have the same haircut in this???

simon mcburney pretending to be hunt prentending to be atlee

manipulation !?

the syndicate you say ? i know a thing or two about them 😼😼😼

damn though renner delivers these lines really well

a black tie? how informal. ..

complimenting hunt right infront of him

but he really didnt

i never realized that they were on the clock for this

huh...

the lil head nod though-

HAHA YEAH FUCK YOU ATLEE

is it bad that i hate atlee more than i hate lane?

ethan big smart wrinkle brain

janik just reading a fucking magazine

ethan has a photographic memory

oh look its benji :)))

lane :))))

ethan being tough

it must be aquward to get the low angle shots

lane is running out the clock to put pressure on ethan hmmm big brain

it isnt working though :\

damn he so cocky that hes telling the villain his plan

ill give you 1/5 of the money you wanted to get my bf back

ok but like does tom cruise just not age?

kill the woman

ugh i hate janik

the trust that is shown between those two is great

yes the score and the chase are so great

also this man really hates windows for some reason

fuck off janik

sneaky sneaky

EYY ITS LANE !!!

yeyy janik is dead

once again dodging bullets and hating glass

couldve killed him but needed him alive

the glass box

badass ethan

all the pretty men assembled

lane really let himself go aster this

dang though lane is my favorite villain ever

i like how for once the girl and the guy just are friends instead of romantically involved

eyy the callbacks to how the movie started.

welcome to the imf

[storiesofsvu]

OC/SVU season premier thoughts:

They really missed the ball on not using Rita as Wheatley’s attorney….

The fucking theme song SLAPS

THIS mother fucker (sg brewster) has guest starred on SVU like three times already…

Sg Bell is SO HOT WOW.

Can we talk about how they just jumped two months, shoved Elliot undercover, ignoring the fact that he NEEDS THERAPY, and like.. where’s Eli?

Wait… what happened to Angela?? Why is she all crippled?? I’m so confused.

🙄🙄🙄🙄 “ohhhh its 2021, we cant have police brutality anymore, lets put Elliot undercover so he can beat the shit out of people” ffs…

Ooohhkay! Here’s Eli! Honestly, its a fucking dick move for Elliot to up and leave, going undercover and leaving Eli basically alone(? Hopefully with maureen/kathleen) right After he lost his Mom & uprooted his life back to NYC from ITALY!! Jesus

LESBIANS

MORE LESBIANS!!! AND A BEBE!!! AHHH. Thank fuck nothing has happened to her wife (yet…😒)

OKAY ONTO SVU!!

We SERIOUSLY open up with a MAKEOUT SESH?!! Jesus. “Is this even real?” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 STOP.

“Sorry i’m late” YAY BRO CAUSE YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH AMANDA.

Why are they doing this entire flipping/deal making so LATE??!

He BARELY tapped her car how did it fly off like that??

“Nothing sadder than white people celebrating themselves.” 😂😂💀💀 fin… you’re killin me

I dont trust this chief…. He’s giving me Hank Abram vibes… he’s all “we’re concerned about garland’s prev relationship..” DUDE, SVU took down Garland’s bestie PASTOR, and he had NO problem, he kept his head down & did his job🙄

These fade to blacks are strange & weird…

WHAT IS WITH SVU AND OVERSIZED BLAZERS??!! Kat is tiny!! This blazer LOOKS LIKE IT BELONGS TO BUCHANAN.

Love Fin, gotta always watch out for his bestie.

“A waste of a good hotel room”

SONNY CARISI!! KEEP YOUR THIRSTING THOUGHTS WHILE YOURE NOT TRYING TO BUST A SEX RING 💀💀💀💀

I’m 90% sure that extra is someone i follow on tik tok?? (She’s an actor, she was in Moulin Rouge on broadway)

KELLI GIDDISH IS SO FUCKING PRETTY 🥵

WHY IS RITA NOT HERE??? Like… who TF are these defence attorney’s?? Where is Rita?? Where is Buchanan?? Where is Langan??? (Spoiler alert… they were supposed to all be on for the defense & it got axed…)

GOD poor Garland!!! Im so mad about this bs…

This is LAZY FUCKING WRITING. This is the gallagher case all over again. Im not even fucking kidding! The convo at the da’s office was the EXACT same. The politician who’s cleaning house, who’s all “scoff… im a politician… you cant do this” like… reread your old scripts before writing new ones. We couldve had three hours of Rita…

Amanda: can you… take a break? Sonny, PLEASE, she’s so fucking cute how can you say no??!!

This detective is gonna replace Kat, isnt he? Okay…. Maybe not… do we trust him?

This bastard just *snapped* at them & i lost ALL respect I had left for him.

NO!! NO!! I FUCKING KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO OUR BABY. FUCK. PLS LET HER LIVE.

OMG FIN THAT JOKE 😂😂💀💀

I UNDERSTAND there’s a lot of other shit going on, but EVERYONE was at the hospital for Mike, and NO ONE is there for Kat??!! Fucking bullshit…

CELINE AND KAT STILL DIDNT GET A LIP KISS??? WTF???

Who is the bitch with sonny? The new bureau cheif? *bring back casey*

Omg ROLLISI IS SO FUCKING CUTE OMG

FUCK KAT LEAVING. Like, yes, I get it canon wise & her being all ✌🏻but LORD.

Omg… rollisi is going to murder me…THEYRE SO CUTE OMG

“Real rapes”

EXCUSE ME??!! I KNEW I HATED

THIS ASSHAT

[baalzebufo]

🔫😃 give us them monster au Majima deets I dare you /hj

I'm invested, I wanna know stuff, like; What was the interaction between Kiryu and Majima like after the reveal? How did Haruka find out? Was it because she lives with Kiryu or did Majima tey to keep her oblivious to it as long as he can because no.?

I WANT THE DEETS AND I WANT EM NOW

(ya don't need ta do nothin if ya don't wanna, take yer time, I just wanna show excitement with this :>)

THANK YOU for the interest I am constantly excited to talk about things and will 100% share what deets I have

(Update: this got... WAY longer than I anticipated. So im putting it behind a readmore. sorry for the wall of text I got very passionate suddenly!!)

disclaimer: I have very little solid 'canon' established and 99% of this will be stuff I make up on the spot cause thats just how I do these things

So, in my head this all takes place after the events of the first game- Kiryu's been to jail, gets out, 10 billion yen drama ect. I think it would be peak drama if Majima accidentally let slip during the fight at Shangri-la that he isn't human, he got so hyped up on the idea of a 'fight to the death' with Kiryu (which, lets be honest, was probably a bit of suicidal ideation on his part because he wanted Kiryu to utterly destroy him) that he couldn't control himself and Kiryu gets an eyeful of claws and teeth and horns. But because things are so fucking manic during that point in the game, Kiryu deadass writes it off as a weird hallucination/'this might as well be happening' because he has WAY too much going on.

it's only after the games finished and Kiryu settles down, decides hes going to adopt Haruka and is trying to get his affairs in order when he's like. Holy Shit What Was Up With That.

Majima hasn't shown his face around him since because he becomes convinced Kiryu seeing that means hes going to despise him and/or try to kill him so he crawls into his hole to mope about it and Kiryu has to genuinely jump through hoops trying to find where he is. He was concerned! Eventually he gets in touch with Nishida who is equally worried about his boss (he knows Majima's secret but is sworn not to tell anyone) so he just. quietly tells Kiryu where Majima is living right now and prays it wont come back to bite him in the ass

He goes, Majima initially attempts to be like 'haha you hit your head pretty hard down there-' and write it off like that but Kiryu is nothing if not persistent and eventually he has a little meltdown about it and finally just shows him. Majimas been in a super weird mental state since Shimano died and hes just like, at his breaking point, so he figures 'fuck it, if Kiryu hates me, whatever' at that point

OBVIOUSLY Kiryu doesnt, hes just like. dude are you okay

they have a long ass talk about it and what happened and it all sort of culminates in an awkward love confession because turns out wow you two REALLY care about each other, huh!

Majima also shares that hes only really still in the yakuza because he feels like its the only place he belongs, that a monster like him doesn't deserve anything resembling a normal life. its that conversation that starts him on the path to realizing he's not happy there tbh

Im SEVERELY rambling at this point but. after a lot of emotional catharsis between these two they promise to try to make something work. majima considers leaving the yakuza, and kiryus going to make a home with haruka. and while hes not ready to join them properly, just yet, he's... thinking about it. in the meantime, he's heard some cool stuff about construction as a business, and he's lookin' into it.

they kept it from Haruka for a while, mostly because Majima is super not comfortable showing people. He didnt spend a lot of time around her because he still felt guilty about the kidnapping thing, but eventually Kiryu pushes him to try to apologize properly and make amends. Haruka is obviously suspicious of him but, I think shes got a good judge of character when it comes to if someones being earnest, and its clear Majima wasn't acting of his own volition. (She blackmails him for lots of ice cream as an apology.)

Eventually she picks up on the fact they're hiding *something* because of how like, furtive Majima becomes when he stays with Kiryu and how he's almost never actually around, especially since he loves being the center of attention otherwise. So they brace themselves for it all to come crashing down when they tell her.

It honestly... goes fine. Maybe its just cause she's a kid and was way more willing to believe monsters exist, but it's not quite the 100% world-shaking revelation. It does set them back a bit and there's a lot of convincing that 'not all monsters are evil', but eventually she settles on. 'he's not scary. he's just kind of weird.' and you know what? majima will 100% take that.

(also she thinks its funny how he purrs when you touch his ears a certain way. he's like a big weird puppy.)

okay goddamn this post got long enough as is but. thank you again for the interest I have... so many words in my brain about this. Ideally id love to write a proper fic but im really not great at structured writing like that- it takes a helluva lot of a work compared to just infodumping into a big nightmare post like this. One Day.

I mad appreciate any and all interest though! Like, at its heart this is a hurt/comfort kinda au, and my end-goal is for Majima to realize being a monster doesn't mean he doesn't get to be happy or that he doesn't deserve to be treated like a human. it is vitally important to me that these two old sad men be happy together and build a better life lmao

[mexicanscorpion]

46 Weaver St

Just like that in two group sessions that I've had I've unlocked two big things. Two big levels. It is levels when it comes to trauma? I'm not sure. That's how I'm feeling about it anyway. I can see this is a long road trip if you will. A long road trip to my past. Sometimes it's beautiful and sometimes it's fucking terrifying.

****

So let's start from Trauma Recovery Part 1: Don't let your past define your future.

so I didnt understand how to not let my past define me. After sitting for an hour listening to a complete stranger explain medically how my past affects me. How he describes everything I feel. Everything I do. Sometimes without realizing it. Without describing anything or having to explain how shity I feel. This dude literally explains my every "symptom" or reaction. Of course immediately I'm crying. Because how can you understand but no one else can?! Then you discover the chat section. You type something into the void. You say exactly what you need to say. A few seconds later a complete stranger says "wow I'm sorry you feel this way. "

"You got this. Don't give up on yourself. "

"I feel the same"

"me too"

"my dad did that to me too"

and suddenly you no longer think of just you.

you see how much pain there truly is in the world but for some reason.

these strangers. These humans. They understand. They hear you. They see you. And your pain.

Im overwhelmed now. I'm crying you see.

it's pouring outside. Can't see anything. Specially since my eyes are also pouring.

feelings how I hate you!

you monsters that cloud my air.

air I need air.

inhale. Exhale.

it's like my body has forgotten how to

I find myself pulling over

I can't recognize the place.

im confused. Why here. Why this place.

there's millions of locations I could of drove to.

why here.

why now.

it's that old busted up house.

It hunts me. It makes me angry. Sad. Disappointed. Suddenly I'm sorry. I need to apologize. Then comes the smell......I'm not there any more....I'm somewhere else.

I can feel my brothers little hand right next to mine. It's late. Everyone's gone to bed. well not everyone. I have to stay up and fight the monsters. I have to make sure my little brother is okay. I need to. For the family...the door creaked open just a little bit. My body is like a board I can't feel my fingers anymore. I try to jump up and scream. But my body has stopped working. And I don't know why. Tears don't fail. They do the only thing they can do. This is how they beg for mercy you see. But they are just tears. These aren't words. So it couldn't possibly mean please stop. Please don't. Dad please. Why. What did I do?

then I came back. It's raining outside. It's pouring. And my voice found a way out. 10 years later. My vocal cords finally remembered how to speak. Out of all the things that could of been said. My brain said. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Brenda. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. You needed someone to love you. To save you. I'm sorry I couldn't do that for us. Forgive me my beautiful girl. I won't let you down again. Not ever again. ".

That was part 1. Of 2. Stay tuned. Part 2. After I'm done processing.