#the idealist and people pleaser in me would prefer that no one was ever a hater and that everyone loved me

[literaphobe]

i’ve never seen anything negative about your fic, why do you think some people hate it/dislike it? :(

no one's publicly talked shit dw, i just have friends in all sorts of places and i basically am aware that some people refuse to read sadf or are simply upset that sadf is as popular as it is - and i tend to be good at sensing when people don't like me. usually tho if i used to be friends w someone that started to dislike me i tend to want to disprove that as much as i can... but i can tell. i've got good gut feelings and well sometimes those gut feelings receive concrete proof. most of it is misplaced jealousy and different tastes and preferences usually. not too deep. like there are people who resent heatwaves and think it doesn't deserve to be as popular as it is and people who resent mangobaii and thinks it doesn't deserve clout (ive seen people say it spits in the face of writers who 'actually work hard on their fic' or something crazy like that)

so like OBVIOUSLY some people will hate sadf. be it blindly or for reasons they perceive to be reasonable. obviously sadf is not anywhere near what heatwaves was or what happened with mangobaii. i don't think i am like MASSIVELY revolutionary or that im the best ever or anything but i do think i tend to be different enough that it stands out but can also rub some people the wrong way. and well... since im a writer it doesn't shock me that some writers are jealous because i would also be if i were them. but im me! so thank god i guess. and i mean. sadf was a calculated effort of mine. it was a LOT of luck but also hard work and strategy. a lot of the success sadf has received was also due to you guys :) so i'm very very grateful for that. but yeah. i started writing sadf in late september and didn't start publishing till january this year. i read and reread what i've written over and over and i've rewritten and edited every scene to some degree. i put a lot of passion into it! and i like that it has a very absurd name. its the whole point. and some people will appreciate that and my idiosyncrasies and my writing style and my sense of humor - and some won't. so... it is what it is. i just think that the people who don't like sadf either didn't give it a chance or what they like differs a LOT from me -> meaning that if they are a writer id probably think their work sucks too. so. live and let live i suppose!

[kookiesbuckethat]

Haluu, i would like to try the matchup if you dont mind :)

-Im a female in her 20s, short and flat as hell (i am nearly 5.0ft 🥲).. Even tho I'm asian, i don't have the height gens like Koreans.

-Im an INFP with 4w3 as functions (means that im a highly individualistic person and always craving for success and something original)

- Always on creative mode and can easily notice a pattern of certain things (such as routine, format and etc)

- Likes to volunteer to be on stage just because i hate the feelings of being part of the crowds (blending in the crowds doesnt make me feel original or standout ish.. it makes me feel less of me, hence the reason why i dress a little bit differently)

-Always being complimented by my teachers back in the days for being a good student to the point my former classmates think of me as someone who are smart and a goody two shoes

-Im a listener and always the emotional provider

- I can be quite idealistic and I am more prone to improvising/fixing things rather than planning in details. So you can say im quite spontaneous..

-I am chaotically messy but tidy at the same time. I tend to organize things in my house when my real life stuff gets messy (to me organizing stuff kept me sane, its not a routine but more like a hobby/ de-stress activity)

- I used to be very outgoing and socially butterfly but it all changes when i got stabbed in the back by my old friends and now im tend to be more reserved and become socially awkward to the point my friends now doubt and misunderstood me numerous times.

- Im still am sensitive to my own feelings and to others, but i tried my best to hide it due to the fact that now i dont really have the kind of friend who is willing to listen to my thoughts (i dont want to burden them since they are busy with college)

- Despite the world see me as someone who are independant, opinionated with strong determination, reliable and trustworthy. I wanted to know how it feels like to be taken care of

- Did i mention i love romcom, sci fi fantasy and drama??

- I play Final Fantasy , Mystic Messenger, Sims (mainly for house designing) and all the mobile adventure and puzzle games.

My bad sides:

-Self-blaming

-Insecure with my flat area on my body

-People's pleaser

- Can be quite bitchy when im jealous and may accidentally hurting others a long the way, but regret later with tears and more self blaming.

- tends to sweep emotional problem under the rug

- Afraid to be judge and afraid to be framed as the bad person.

My aesthetic:

forever and always pastel, pinks and florals. Black & White classic with a little bit pf edgy. Tapestry on the wall, lighten up by fairy lights. Scrapbooks, dreams&feelings journals and songwriting are my sacred possesions. Romance, fantasy and drama fictions are the reason why im still alive.

My preference in future partner:

Caring, attentive, a family man, adorable, dorky, a teaser, spontaneously funny, the-dont-give-any-damn vibe when in public, understanding and protective.

That is all that i have.. i want to apologize for the long ass descriptions (and sorry for being a little bit personal) I hope what I stated above could help you in the process of matchmaking

Plz don’t apologize! I really enjoyed learning about u and it helped me understand u and write a hopefully okay matchup. I’m glad that u feel comfortable enough sharing all this bc i know how hard it can be. This matchup is a bit more hurt/comfort than the other ones so plz let me know if u’d like me to write a more fluffy one instead. I couldn’t help it after all u shared (I feel like i could write a fic with u haha) and i hope that this could somehow provide u with a little sense of comfort. If u ever need someone to talk to, plz don’t be afraid to message me! I’d be happy to listen or talk if u’d like :)

I match you with...

taehyung!

When you first meet, he immediately thinks that your behaviour is a bit strange

You naturally and effortlessly stand out from the crowd, but he can also see that you’re holding yourself back and he wants to know why

He understands what it’s like because he’s a very creative and unique person himself and sometimes he also feels the need to suppress himself

The other members always encourage him to be himself and he’s truly grateful for that, but they don’t understand him

But he thinks that you can

You both are very unique individuals and although people think that that would make you two clash, it actually is what brings you together

Once you two start talking, you talk for hours as you two bond over finally having someone you can really relate to

He’s everything you could ever want in a partner

He was a dork, but it was adorable and made him even more precious

And he cares for you like no one else ever has

He can be all smiles and completely carefree, reminding you of a child

But there’s a more serious side to him

He’s very attentive to you and the instant he notices something is off, he doesn’t hesitate to let you know that he’s there for you and he wants to help you

He doesn’t rush you or force you to tell him anything, but it’s hard to resist him when he stares at you with nothing but love and concern

When he learns about your past, what your old friends did to you and why you are how you are, he becomes even more protective of you

He loves you as you are and wouldn’t change a thing, but he can’t help but feel angry about the happiness that was taken away from you

He doesn’t care that it made you socially awkward, if anything he thinks it only makes you more adorable

But he wants you to see yourself the way he sees you

And more than that, he wants you to love yourself the way he loves you

He never fails to remind you every day how much he loves you, every part of you, mentally and physically

And whenever he takes you out, he shows you off to the whole world because he’s so proud and in love with you

Sometimes you shy away from the attention but he pushes you out of your comfort zone. Not too much to the point you feel overwhelmed, but enough for you to feel confident and come out of your shell

He knows how independent and strong you are, but still, everyone needs someone to rely on

He takes care of you and makes you feel loved like you never have before

He makes everything you’ve ever gone through feel worth it; he makes you feel worth it

ik that it can be really easy to criticize yourself but it’s ok to make mistakes so whenever something goes wrong, just remember that “it’s not a big deal.”

[atomicfilm]

The types as people I know

ENTP: dnd enthusiast, trying to sell the world on his beliefs, owns like 69 :0 rubix cubes so people will know he’s smart, probably wears a cloak when he’s home alone, loves volunteering at bingo w/ elderly people, always trying to compete w/ me to finish our work first/best and usually looses because he overlooks something, 98% of people are annoyed by his presence, likes to start fights/debates, actually super sweet and big on respect but misunderstood

INTP: we all adopt really random catchphrases (mine is “that’s hot” and my friend’s is “j’accuse”), we have very specific interests (”your thing is learning about concentration camps in the Czech Republic? Mine is 18th-century poems about cats in fishbowls”), devoted to comedy, going to vote but doesn’t openly support anyone because the candidate will mess up, caught between dreaming and reality, doesn’t really understand other people’s perceptions of them, built to withstand anything (and I mean anything, more on that later), managing my bookmarks is my routine chore

ENFP: stereotypical gemini through and through, I love her but I can’t stand to be close friends with her, has a bunch of plans to marry people and move in with friends later in life, friends w/ everyone she has ever met (if you say you don’t like her then you’re on her hit list), very nice but definitely scheming, attention split between 8,917 things rn, falls in love easily and obsessively, so so creative, great singer, wants to go into advertising but will probably become a pediatrician, loves babies and taking care of things

INFP: lots of feels, really into the arts, nervous about talking, people pleaser, writes poems in their spare time, would adopt 500 puppies if it made financial sense and wouldn’t stress them out, stressed out anyway, sees the red flags but ignores them, either your literal mom or the mom friend

ISFP: aesthetics-oriented, their room is really clean except for one area with whatever they collect (shoes, tchotchkes from Asia, snowglobes, ect.), usually overshadowed in the art department but turn out to be the best artist in the room, speak French and/or want to move to Paris (except it’s dirty, wah), they typically measure in oofs (”big oof”, “little oof”, “8 oz. of oof”)

ESFP: a new boyfriend every two weeks, eyebrow game strong, funniest person in the room (or at least that’s what they think), extremely sassy, watches videos of tobacco spitting contests in the Midwest for fun, 9/10 times (this is a fake statistic) they’re a theatre kid, forget who you are if they haven’t seen you in a year (even if you were close friends prior), drives fast (and poorly), hot (and knows it), very confident, their default state is shirtless, dramatic 

ISTP:  everything is an adventure, their ideal romance movie is Baby Driver, wants to learn how to hot-wire a car, doesn’t realize they look punk but they do, should be employed as a makeup artist, probably pretty kinky (or at least act like it), either a fake f-boy or a very, very real one 

ESTP: wants to be an architect or CEO, mostly wants to be paid to do nothing, most-often found asleep during class or telling a story in a crowd at a party, drives drunk a lot, already dating someone but tries to get with you anyway, straight male w/ dangly earrings (queer vibes), very hilarious and everyone knows who they are, their closest friends are introverts who they force to share the spotlight w/ them, either don’t show up or show up late, fun to be around, class valedictorian but everyone thinks it’s someone else

ESFJ: once had a nightmare where all of their friends got drunk and they had to take care of them, brings you cupcakes on your birthday, all of their friends are social degenerates and they don’t know what to do, watches children’s movies their entire life, has more stuffed animals than friends, everyone knows who they are 

ISFJ: their catchphrase is “I need healing” (warning: they will steal your catchphrase), carries a singular band-aid at all times, makes lots of jokes about Communism, makes racist jokes against themself, their extended family lives with them, uncomfortable about breaking rules, always wants to pay for things, everyone’s boyfriend but only dating 1 person/no one, big on the American Dream, literally Captain America, appears to be a virgin at first, makes lots of sex jokes once you get to know them, n e r d, good at everything /  you thought perfect people didn’t exist? you were wrong

ISTJ: ESTP’s best friend, the obviously intellectual one, does everything with amazing skill, supports their friends tirelessly, great at math, understand systems really well, the designated driver, try to follow the rules as best as they can, laughs a lot at other people’s engineering mistakes, quiet and unnoticed most of the time, surprisingly funny

ESTJ: give you advice even when you don’t ask for it, seem like they’re judging every decision you have ever made, won’t speak to you if you lie to them, the stereotypical club president, takes initiative, likes to mention that mission trip they went on very frequently, shops at Dillards (always hunting for good deals), has a very traditional sense of fashion until you see their crocodile cowboy boots, they have a very idealistic sense of society and if you don’t meet their standards they’ll yell very loudly, remembers everything, constantly fact-checking, actually should be president 

ENTJ: control freak, but only because they don’t trust you enough to make the right decision, ready to race you at all times, could probably run a mile in 6 minutes without breaking a sweat, confident, prefer strategy games like Settlers of Catan, if they were a society they would be Ancient Rome, want to motivate you to succeed, see themselves as the best but want everyone to match them, running out of patience, seems insensitive and ready to cut you off but probably has a warm, beating heart (idk I haven’t dissected them, personally)

INTJ: I don’t think they really exist, supposedly everyone on Tumblr is one but they only make up approximately .8% of the population, if I met one I would probably think they’re a weirdly assertive/controlling INTP, I think people mistype as one because their ideal sense of self is being an effective problem-solver who challenges tradition from the comfort of their home and purposefully does things (i.e. learning a new language for business) but are they really

Idk 

I can’t tell if they have a high sense of self or are trying to demonize themselves

INTJs are textbook villains in the movie world but also probably a lot of detectives or something

ENFJ: don’t know any of them/anyone I think could be one personally but I wish I did / I feel like if I met one I would want to be as good of a person as them all the time

INFJ: not very reality-oriented yet in love with science, wants to be a writer, curious, wants to figure everything out but primarily wants to love everyone, passionate about a few specific projects that they talk a lot about (social issues), always reblogs positivity posts, once gave a ted talk about mental health, he’s the debate captain yet cries every time he loses a debate (because he has a lot of self-doubt), prefers to nap than to talk sometimes, eventually realizes they wants to adopt all of the people younger than him and protect them from the world, easy to love, they may reflect your personality, may also have very particular body movements (the one I know does a lot of fan kicks), actually make NTs feel (like a lot, like a lot a lot, like real crying), eventually dates their best friend and marries them, doesn’t draw but collects art

[richtea-biscuit]

Thank you @a-fritterer for tagging me. Prepare for a lot of answers in the negative

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

It was my mum so I’m confident that she did

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

No, 18 is slightly on the young side. Plus, I had to deal with many of them at uni last year and it made me realise what a difference 3 years can make

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Probably never, if I’m going to have mixed feelings about something, it’s not going to be that mix

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I do if I accidentally make eye-contact just to be polite

5. Is there someone who’s mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I’m not dating anyone so no

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Yes, a song my grandad loved came on shuffle

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Gryffindor pyjamas

8. How often do you listen to music?

All day, every day

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014?

Wow, you can really tell the age of this game. In hindsight, I would say my life has changed, I feel like I know myself much better which has made me a lot happier. Even when life isn’t going great, at least I know who I am and no longer feel lost in my own body and mind

11. Are you a social or antisocial person?

I’m pretty social when I’m with people I know and like

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter “A”?

Yes, it’s not a pleasant memory though

13. What about “R”?

No

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

Technically yes but not legally

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yes, I’m pretty paranoid about that. It’s turned me into a chronic people pleaser

16. Are you going out of town soon?

No

17. When was the last time you cried?

Whenever I watched series 2 of Derry Girls. The last episode made me cry, no shame

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Platonically, lots. I tell my friends and family I love them all the time. Romantically, that person whose name begins with A and there are regrets

19. If you could change your eye colour, would you?

No, my eyes are the only thing I’m happy with

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

Jeon Jungkook lol

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having

I feel like it’s been a day of Procrastination because I’m so tired-out from my mum’s birthday party yesterday

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

I like the thought of it. And I love it in fanfic, it makes me soft

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

No

24. What are you sitting on right now?

My bed

25. Does anyone regularly tell you they love you (other than family)?

@penicillinjimin tells me at least semi-regularly

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

No

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

My nan

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Yes, RIP me every winter

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

I want to say Primark but I don’t know

30. Does anyone hate you?

Probably

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

I can drink legally, I do34n’t need to be hiding it

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

I can take it or leave it

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

Honestly, the thought gives me the ick

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

If I had to, the year of the “A” but I don’t really want to. I think I wouldn’t be the person I am now if I deleted it, and for the worse because that was the start of a very long journey of realising I was asexual. I think that about all my experiences, good and bad, they shaped the person I am today

35. Did you have a dream last night?

No

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

My mum yesterday

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

And not push away and guy that pays attention to me out of fear? lol

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Not anymore they don’t, I made sure of that

39. Do you think someone is thinking of you right now?

The person reading this? Am I funny yet?

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

Yes

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

No

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

No

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

No

44. What’s the best part about school?

I loved learning but I didn’t like the other children

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

Other than my profile picture, they’re all about 5 years old because I hide from cameras

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

Do people actually do that?

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

I try to surpress it

48. Were you single over the last summer?

I’m the hopeless romantic that’s forever alone

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Not really

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Whatever I feel like

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

No, I don’t waste my time like that. I waste it in infinite other ways instead

52. Are you nice to everyone?

Even when I don’t want to be. I just can’t be rude

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Friend-wise, yes

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Definitely yes. Even if I weren’t asexual, it would be yes. I absolutely despise cheating. My friend cheated on her boyfriend once and we had a massive row about it because she didn’t like that I wasn’t on her side

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yes, I cover them up with other feelings. It’s my special skill

56. Do you think you like someone?

It’s very hard for me to tell. It requires a 10-page thesis for me to work these things out. Not that it really matters because like I said, I get scared and turn into a bitch to push people away

57. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with a “J”?

Yes - spin the bottle. I got dragged into it

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Boys. I think that’s more because it’s what I’m used to from when I was at school

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Yes

60. Do you hate anyone?

No, I get fairly apathetic

61. How’s your heart?

I’ll ask it. “Hey heart, how you doing?” It says da-dum

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yes

63. Have you ever cried over a guy

Yes, I was an idiot.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

Nobody I can think of

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

No

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

I hope not

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry, correct?

I feel like “love” is the wrong word. Boys should be encouraged to show their emotions though, crying is good for you

68. Have your trousers even fallen down in public?

No

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My mum when we were in proper lockdown

70. How do you look right now?

A face only a mother could love. It’s bedtime so there’s no make-up and my hair’s a mess

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

No

72. Can you commit to one person?

Yes

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

No

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

Yes

75. Did you wake up cranky?

No

76. Are you a jealous person?

Yes, I try to keep a check on it though

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

I like tot think that they are, but maybe fiction has given me an idealistic view point

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

No

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

My friends

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Brush my teeth

81. Last person you cried in front of?

I actually don’t remember

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

Many

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

Yes, Jungkook is my man and he is protective of all ARMY (I’m joking, don’t worry I’m not crazy. Just spicing my answers up)

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

85. Are you over your past?

Is anyone ever? Like I said before, I think it’s all important to who I am now so I keep key elements of it fresh in my mind as reminders to not make the same mistakes and let myself get hurt like that again

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Yes

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

No

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I don’t know about “true love” but if the person I thought I loved came to my door, I would tell them to fuck off

89. The last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM, do you let them in?

It’d probably be an emergency and we’re not on bad terms as such so yeah

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

No, they hating came later

91. Will you be in a relationship in two months?

I highly doubt it

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

My mum’s friend

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

No

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

I was emotionally invested in my relationship with the Jungkook photocard I had on the wall next to my bed. It was at head height when I sat down so when I was going through tough times, I would talk to it so I didn’t feel so lonely. It was an amazing listener lol. And it’s answer was always “love yourself” and I’d say “You’re right as always. Thanks Kookie” (I swear I’m not crazy)

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in march?

Same as January

96. Is the last person you texted attractive?

Objectively speaking I think @penicillinjimin is very pretty. I don’t find her attractive but that’s nothing personal

97. Who do you have texts from?

Domino’s (with discount codes, it’s true love)

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Ok?

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

No

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

It’s just me

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

No, fireworks are there to be seen guys

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

Yes

Tagging whoever wants to do it

[surejo]

( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot ) 

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her. 

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes. 

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8. 

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco, 

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic, 

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie, 

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !